#cause im also weirdly obsessed with him

[confoodles]

he's a literal monster TO YOU

he's baby girl to me

[voltronisanobsession]

Miguel codes Lyla a Friend

I had this idea since I was thinking maybe sometimes Lyla gets lonely being the only hologram in the spider society apart from Spider Byte. So I decided to do this and show what it could be like if Miguel finally coded and programmed Lyla a new friend!

This also might be the very few writings I’ll do for this fandom since I wanna focus on the ones Im active in now :D

For this to even be CONSIDERED a possibility, Lyla would have to have been annoying Miguel for awhile, complaining about how oh so lonely she’s gotten being the only hologram

“Come on.”

“There’s Spider Byte.”

“She doesn’t count, plus she’s still a spider. Come oonn.”

“Is my company not enough, Lyla?”

“Look me in the eyes and you tell me. Come ooonnnnn.”

In the end Miguel will succumb to Lyla’s persistent complains much to the her delight

I can already see her excitedly yapping away while Miguel begins programming her new ‘friend’

I totally see Miguel just copying and pasting Lyla’s original coding while making some changes like the personality and appearance just because he didn’t want to spend too much time on this

It takes a couple of runs before both he and Lyla are satisfied with the final outcome, you😍

Miguel made it so that you were the more compassionate and kind one between the two of you while Lyla is the honest and blunt one

You chose your own name, which surprised both him and Lyla since you were already adapting and growing as an intelligent form of tech

“Well then Y/N, welcome to the team.”

Cue Lyla grabbing your arm and disappearing to who knows where while Miguel sighs

Omg she would totally give you star glasses so you could match with her heart glasses!!!

You guys are rarely seen without the other ever since your arrival

Lyla would show you all the ropes to being Miguel’s assistant and would be so proud when you help file your first report on an anomaly :,)

“They grow up so quick.”

“But I can’t ‘grow up’ Lyla.”

“You’ll understand those sayings soon.”

You guys do everything together, like karaoke nights with Miguel, make friendship bracelets for each other and take silly pics with that one bunny filter Lyla’s obsessed with

It’s like you’re Thing 1 and Thing 2 according to Peter :]

Because this is technically your shot in ‘living’, you definitely look at everything with stars in your eyes

Everything is still so new to you and so exciting that you often get carried away with rambling about how fascinating life is

Which causes Miguel to raise an eyebrow at times because it’s almost like your becoming more self aware of yourself, gaining more… human emotions despite you being only a hologram

And he isn’t wrong

Once learning of Miles Morales’ story and how he’s essentially going to destroy the multiverse according to Miguel, you can’t help but feel for the boy

Your traits grow from being compassionate to feeling real emotions which confused you at first when you began feeling so different at times

(You asked Lyla about the weird feelings you’ve been getting but she only looks at you weirdly so you don’t bring it up again)

You make it a habit to mention every now and then that Miles had no control over what happened and how you feel sorry for him

How you even theorize that with him, the cycle of Spiderman could possibly be broken!

Lyla would 100 percent lecture you on how that would be terrible and all that fun sunshine stuff which you definitely don’t listen to

Hobie would be around when you’re on one of your tangents on how Miles could be the change the multiverse could benefit from, capturing his attention

“Rebellious one, aren’t you?”

“Oh Hobie hello! What do you mean by that?”

“I sure as ‘ell know bossman wouldn’t program your own ideas to go against his, now would he?”

After that small talk, your hologram self would realize ‘hey! Im thinking for myself, I have my own ideals and beliefs!’

Cue you acting out against Miguel cuz you’re in your rebellious phase

Bro would totally tell Lyla to control you

You’ve been giving him more headaches than Lyla has and that’s saying something

I think Lyla would try to tap into your programming to see if there was something wrong only to find out you put a PASSWORD on that file LMAO💀💀💀

Her reaction: 😦

Besides that concerning factor that is making itself way more known after Miles arrives, most of the spiders do enjoy your company

They love how you just float around them as you beg to hear more of their stories and fights they’ve experienced

You have an almost childish light because of how interested and amazed you are at them

You love being around Peter B. though because of Mayday

She loves just swishing her hand at your frame, giggling as you reappear in a different spot, your soft glowing light capturing her attention every time

Overall I think being Miguel’s second assistant isn’t the most terrible thing in the world

Lyla’s sarcasm has rubbed off on you so you both like to make Miguel’s job a little more difficult than it needs to be

But he definitely has a soft spot for both you, especially since you often sympathize with him whenever he watches those videos of his past life

You’re just a silly member of the society trying to learn more about life and the special moments it holds

You want to be apart of the real world instead of being confined to the digital world, which Lyla and Miguel don’t realize is a problem until you finally go against them

DUN DUN DDUUUNNNN

[compact-turtle]

I love your farmer so much, you and Wordsbymae have been my absolute go-tos for these mentally unstable men!

I was wondering though, what if darling actually confessed to liking him to? Or weirdly did something for him to express some sort of love to him, idk i think it would be interesting to have his brain sort circuit because shes confessing. Or maybe shes obsessed too?

Another i was wondering is if you could five us a small sneak peak of what it would be like being his darlinf after he murdered all her friends, in front of her, and what he would want daily life to be like? Darling can be complicit or defiant im just so curious!

Thank you and is it alright if i become a emoji anon? If so may i have 🌊?

If not its all good! Also keep up the fantastic work i love it all!

Thank you for taking time to check out my work! Ofc you can be that anon!

---------

I think darling would have to confess directly with words. All your actions would be revised as "My darling is so love with me" under Atticus's delusional brain lol. However, he would still be a bit insecure of the relationship until you specifically say the words.

He would short circuit then celebrate internally. You couldn't tell from the look on his face at first. Only his actions would give you any indication of his happiness.

Atticus moves fast, your spot at night would be next to him immediately. He's marking the day on the calendar as anniversary already. Taking out to flaunt around town at least once. (Doesn't like going to town but is just so happy that he just HAS to show everyone)

"Atticus, I think I really like you. Would you want to be with me?"

Atticus:

-----

Sorry life sucks for you and your friends lol.

Atticus would hate to traumatize you. He doesn't want you to end up hating him. Still, if you accidentally stumble upon him murdering your friends then he'd have to take drastic action.

Atticus has a drug that calms the farm animals down. He'd use a small dose on you to keep you happy and complacent. A small side effect also causes some memory loses in humans. You'd never be truly lucid to understand what's happening. He'd gaslight you into thinking that you were always his spouse.

Sometimes you have strange dreams about some so-called friends. They're all screaming and begging you to run away. The dreams terrify you but on the bright side, Atticus is always there to comfort you. He reassures you that it's only a nightmare.

----

-Daily life!

It wouldn't be too different from your current life on the farm. Only downside, you have to work a bit harder since you don't have any friends to help :(

Also, when you start having your weird dreams, Atticus gives you some shots. He tells you that it's to make you feel better and to keep the nightmares away. Thankfully, it does make the nightmares go away!!!!! ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶

Oh! Also, assuming he gaslight you into being his spouse, Atticus is also much more handsy. He's kissing you when you make breakfast, taking baths with you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

-His arms are so heavy when he snuggles with you in bed. It's a struggle to get up in the morning. You'll try to escape but he'll just pull you back into bed.

----

It'd be very difficult for you to escape if you ever regain your memories properly.

-The drug has weakened and altered your body so much. You can't run far without being exhausted.

-There's acres and acres of only farmland.

-Also as much as you love the puppies, they are ratting you out. You'll try to leave, and they'll bark after you. They just assume that you're playing a game with them. They'll happily chase you which in turns leads Atticus to find you.

-Atticus won't punish you. He'll be so angry and upset but blames himself.

-He should've taken care of you more

-He should've noticed you were unhappy

-He failed his duty as a husband to keep you satisfied.

-Atticus will gaslight you and manipulate you into believing that the police would arrest you. He'd convince you that you witnessed the murder and did nothing to stop him so you're an accomplice.

-Logically, you know that this isn't true. However, his words creep into your mind. They influence your subconscious more than you can admit.

-Drugs you more until you forget about it all :/

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ NOTHING LIKE THE MOVIES

["Trust me, Lib," I said, picturing her lips. "In a crowd of million ski masks, I'd still be able to find you."]

| ✮ 3 stars |

ᝰ.ᐟ ⊹ arc review thank you to netgalley + simon and schuster for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for an honest review

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [minor spoilers]

ok. i put this review off for a couple days cause i knew this was gonna be harder to write because i love lynn painter books, really. buuttt i was horribly disappointed with this one. i'm the biggest wesliz fan but... like yeah i cant even form coherent thoughts about it. like this was unnecessary there was no point in shattering their relationship to write this.

like it was good to see wes's pov and everything but it felt so... idk yeah. (see im still struggling so bad to find words.)

one thing i would formally like to invite lynn to STOP doing though is shoving every taylor/ pop culture reference on the planet into the book. like holy shit woman. i few is okay BUT NOT THAT MANY COME ON!!!! they were in the middle of a fucking argument and wes is quoting illicit affairs or some bullshit. usually i love finding little references on page but this felt like too much.

i feel like she's whipped out her computer and gone straight to some dog fanpage or just plainly scrolled through edits seeing people saying "this song is so wesliz coded" and shoved those songs into the book. there is an on page reference to in between reference saying its their montage song.

also um this shit: ”little liz can’t come to the phone right now. why? oh. because she’s dead.” and somehow when jack antonoff was randomly brought up??? like some people are good at weaving taylor swift lyrics into books. lynn you are not.

also lynn take this a plea to never use the word "growl" or "growled" in a sentence ever again when describing your male characters. and to never write this sentence “she’s one of the guys you know? she’s just… different,” EVER AGAIN. PLEASE.

WHAT I DID LIKE THO WAS THE TINY TINY CRUMBS OF BAILEYCHARLIE AND NICKEMELIE (even tho nick was only mentioned and i dont think emelie was even there but eh)

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

liz - ok so weirdly enough she was the most tolerable and still intolerable at the same time. like she was so different from the liz in bttm the sunshiney, wearing dresses of all different colours and her love of romcoms. she was described as anti-love and was practically a full on different character seriously. if you liked the first book maybe dont have high expectations for nltm. like i do understand she had her heart broken and so obviously that makes sense for some of the change but it had been two years and as liz likes to say SO FUCKING MUCH "she's moved on, she's moved past it, its in the past" well for someone who's moved on you sure like to avoid the past a lot. also idk who tf she was trying to fool with that whole "i don't like wes, im over him." shit like gurl- you were literally kissing 2.5 seconds ago whats with the switching sides. and there was SO much about her leaving "little liz" behind. like what was so wrong with liking flowers and romcoms? and being a hopeless romantic and wearing bright colours?

wes - okay so it was quiet heartbreaking to hear abt wes's side of this book (except for the whole pursuing liz part) and i did feel sorry for him. but like what happened to the sweet, caring wes in the first book. and tell me why i had to read THIS sentence “climb on me like a good girl,” LIKE MY EYES LYNN WTF????? i did not sign up for this wes, like no stop telling me how obsessed you are with liz's lips or how she's a mythological sex goddess- boy sit ur ass down. and don't even get me started on the beginning of the book. WHAT WAS THAT SHIT? why was wes acting like a 7yr old excited for school and talking (so much) abt his love for scootering? SCOOTERING. LYNN PAINTER WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL? SCOOTERING. DO YOU HAVE SOME OBSESSION WITH THEM OR SOMETHING? WHY DID THOSE DUMB THINGS KEEP SHOWING UP?? like tell me why i needed to read this shit: "i fucking loved the scooters ..... wes + scooters = HEA" ..... lynn.

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

im not going to bother to find any of these, see: im too lazy

all in all i still liked some points when both of them were acting normal. which is why its a 3. but i feel like this is leaning towards a hate review but yeah idk i cant actually pin point parts that i remember liking- also the ending??? what was that? it made no sense to me.

[ecto-hazard]

I just rewatched ii s1 (fucked up right?)

im just gonna make a post compiling some barebones concepts that im curious about. cause with the latest reveal, im wondering how much previous stuff might become relevant.

Obviously this was made years ago by a bunch of kids so its possible that most of the details can be disregarded as random bullshit. It does seem like they put a lot of work in creating retcons though so I have reason to believe theyre building off their previous work on purpose but i could be wrong and thats fair. im gonna post about it anyway tho

ii16 spoilers discussed under the cut

Who Mephone created (or rather, didn't create)

Mephone supposedly made every contestant for the show, but there's a couple vague characters.

Fan: weirdly enough he's in a gray area cause he appears as a background character before s2, but he also glitched out in that one episode, so its unlikely he wasnt created by Mephone. But yknow.

Apple: Apple is a fan character who was submitted to the show, and this is addressed in canon. It's possible that mephone made her and the other fan contestants based on whatever the submitters asked?

Bow: she randomly shows up after an ad read. Mephone doesnt seem to even want her to join, but he receives a call from Adam to insist she join. Mephone seems quite resistant to the idea (which would be weird if he made her?) Most interestingly, she's the only one in this list that Mephone couldn't recover.

Dough MIGHT be one mephone didnt create, but it seems pretty likely that Mephone would create him as he was specifically requested by adam to get bow back. Dough does seem like something he'd throw together really quickly to cover his ass

The reason any of this could be relevant is that if they arent created by Mephone, they probably cant be deleted by Cobs.

Adam

Stuff about Adam (the character not the guy) has been kinda quiet lately? He was supposedly the producer of ii, and pays mephone apparently? He clearly has a role to play since he showed up in one of Mephone's memories and seems to be a creation by cobs. So observing his actions in s1 might be valuable, especially since cobs would be able to manipulate the show through him.

Some notable actions of his:

Insisting on Bow being in the show. This is doubly interesting if Bow isn't one of Mephone's creations. She could be an industry plant of some kind?

Telling Mephone to keep 4S out of the season finale. This is supposedly to keep the finale from going crazy. If Mephone had been successful, he wouldve been killed by Mephone 5. Its possible this was on purpose so 4 could be destroyed and replaced

Investing in another season. at the end of s2, despite things going wrong, he tells Mephone they're going to do another season. He sweetens the deal by offering a raise and agreeing to get Mephone an assistant (Toilet). Cobs clearly got invested in this show, so it makes sense he'd encourage more of it from the shadows.

Mephone 4S

Yeah talking about 4S isn't anything new, the fandom's obsessed with him. I am too.

The implications of Mephone4 being in 4S's body never really got explored in s2. I guess they were similar enough that it didn't really matter. But he clearly still has some relevance in the modern series. One of Mephone's memories shows him getting developed as a replacement for 4, and he actually appears in Invitational, Sorta? Clearly Mephone's bothered by the sacrifice he made.

At the very least, the show's reminding us that he existed, so maybe he still does exist? I don't think he's going to necessarily make a comeback or anything but I dunno. It seems like he might be able to talk to Mephone in his head so maybe there's something to that.

Evil Paper

Im just gonna be upfront that I don't have a dissociative disorder and its not my place to talk about how it works or what is good or bad representation so I'm not gonna get super deep into talking about this. I'm just curious if the team has any plans for addressing Evil Paper. They seemed to make an effort into writing Yin Yang more thoughtfully (whether or not they actually succeeded, again, not my say). I could see them giving Paper similar treatment. If they did I doubt it'd be very plot relevant though.

Is the Taco we got the Taco we were supposed to have?

I've actually seen this conversation circulate a little bit already. This sort of debate could apply to any character really, but Taco is perhaps the most interesting example because she's so involved in the latest episodes AND because Brian actually addressed a tweet about this.

Taco behaves like a goofy idiot for the majority of s1, only revealing at the end that she was faking it so she would make it to the end. She specifically says she was "built to win" (the quote Brian addresses), and shows a much more competent side when she actually competes. In fact if it weren't for Bow's interference, Taco would have won the challenge (another case of Bow being weird).

This all seems to imply that Taco may have been intended to win the series by Mephone. Cobs points out to Suitcase and Knife that Mephone had "high hopes" for them, so it's not unreasonable to say that maybe certain characters were liked over others. Mephone never seems to give special treatment openly, but that doesn't mean that when he made certain contestants he didn't at the very least expect them to do well.

What is highly unlikely though is that Taco was created to be a twist villain. This results in Mephone's death after all (though the activity of Bow and Mephone 5 also could be to blame). Especially since he had pressure from Adam to keep things running smoothly, it just wouldn't make sense that Mephone would specifically create someone to toss a wrench in things. Most likely Taco developed like this on her own accord.

But that also raises the question, if she wasn't meant to be a villain, what was she supposed to be? How much of the taco we have now is the Taco that Mephone created? We don't actually see how he reacts to her "reveal" because he's in the middle of running away from 5. But everyone else clearly never saw it coming. OJ specifically comments that this doesn't seem like "the Taco he's been competing with all this time," and while that's written in reference to her reveal, it also could mean she WASNT the Taco he'd been competing with. We do get a hint or two of her true self in previous episodes, but its possible she wasn't ever supposed to be like that.

I think its possible Mephone4 created her as a goofy goober joke character initially, and over time, she changed. She developed into a more tactful and villainous character with her exposure to the contest.

A few things in the most recent episodes might allude to this. One thing being how in ii15 she discusses how she became aware of how much the contest is changing everyone, herself included. Secondly, in ii16 she tells Pickle that at the time she didn't consider how her actions were going to hurt him. This is a really shitty apology and no excuse for it, but it ALSO could mean that at the time, Taco really didn't think about it. In S1, she claims that she was just using him, but we don't know how aware of herself she was back then. Its possible that there was a past version of Taco who wasn't deadset on winning no matter the cost, and being in the game changed her.

Anyway these have been my slopthoughts. It's like 9 pm and ive been writing this for like an hour. Maybe most of this wont get addressed at all in the series, but I figured i might as well compile it down since I just finished s1

[deathits3lf]

wolf359. its grasped me again.

I have become obsessed again. To the point I wrote a ABSURDLY LONG ramble about Warren Kepler. I wrote it in discord messages and I will not be taking the time to fix the typos. There are so many.

But yes, I wrote a... character analysis? It's honestly just about the last season.

⚠️Major spoilers ahead. For last season, the finale, anywhere past 45 basically. If you have not completed wolf 359 entirely, well, this will be the end all be all of spoilers.

oooh. I should put a highlight here: but he assumed it was a "sorry, you are wrong and I am right, and you are going to die, and perhaps you deserve to in my eyes." when it really meant "You are right. I love you. I would do anything for your safety even if you may never know I was doing it for you." <<<< i love this part. im so smart. squints. im actually not but i was onto somethin

And be warned that it is long. Google docs says 1563 words. I'll put it under this read more.

Have fun. I hope this is any bit comprehensible.

--------------------------

okokok. so. warren kepler. i could talk about this man for HOURS, i swear. but i need to START somewhere so why not start at his death. I love thinking aboiut it... and by that i mean i hate thinking about it. buts its great. so tragic. i love characters dying like that; they are introduced as a douche. dickhead, antagonist, honestly villain. not likeable, really. (by that i mean well written but the character themselves being THE WORSTTT) (although i love him i DID used to HATE HIM) (i always joked about wanting to throw him out of an airlock... no seriously. i didnt know. help) 

BUT, throughout the show, despite them being a dick, we are shown some moments of them almost.. being human. cause they are. everyone, despite how mean or stuckup or 'emotionless' they are, is human, and humans feel emotions. 

okok, so at this point some hate em, some love em (altho mostly lovehate), but overall they are.... antagonistic but with the potential. not enough potential however.- (quick sidetrack here, i swear i get back to my point eventually) 

The Last Season. oml, the first time I watched it, before I knew what kepler was doing, I thought,"kepler is acting weird". kepler is acting almost nervous, and something just felt off. yes it was because cutter was there, kepler was used to being in charge and aggressive about it to make his subordinates feel scared and therefore listen to him. which in the last season, is clear where he learned that from; cutter. but now cutter was back and he was the subordinate and scared one. he wasnt The Most Powerful One There anymore. BUT ALSO 

Maybe he acted weirdly because,,listen,, he was already planning something against them. it makes sense. he was sort of kept in the dark, but he knew something was going to happen.

He had to watch his crew like that, despite having just held a mutany against him, he still knew them. they were stuck in space together, they knew eachother, but also JACOBI. kepler interacting with mindcontrolled jacobi was. thats a rant for later on. 

But. He had just had his morals rocked. His right hand man, his most loyal companion, betrayed him, tried to get him killed, he lost his other teammate- no, friend, and well, if you look closely enough he really had some time to think about it all. 

And thats where he decided that he was not on the side he always had been on, the one he worked for for god knows how many years, the one who he had based his entire mindset on, and maybe he realized that his idea of a bigger picture didnt line up with Goddard's. 

Maybe he was doing it for Jacobi. and maxwell. Maybe he was doing it for the whole crew. or the whole world. Maybe he really, truely, cared. deep down.

I also think that he wasnt planning to make it out alive. 

He didnt want to face it afterwards. He convinced himself that this was the only way- that he couldn't possibly have made it out alive and that sacrificing himself for the greater good was the only way.

He could have survived that. The hardest part would have been convincing the others to let him on the homebound ship. (the sol i believe?) jacobi begged him to stay. oml that scene. another rant for later on. 

But going back to my first point- I love that they really gave you one last reason to care about his death. If he died still on goddards side, even if he seemed a bit hesitant, that was still the cowards choice. they really said "hey he actually cares about the greater good and to an extent, the others. anyway immediatly after that revelation kill him." They gave us a reason to cry.

I love characters like that. You hate em, but before they die, you are given a reason to give a fuck. Really wrenches your heart. 

back to other points. rachel, had been SHOT. and yet managed to push him into the airlock and close the door. you could say he was overconfident, but I believe thats uncharacteristic. hes always on guard, always thinking of every way something could go wrong and how to account for it. He should have thought about rachel fighting back. he could have stopped her, but he had already accepted that he would, and perhaps should die here. perhaps he didnt want to face everything after it all. how he might actually care about ppl. how fucked up he acted and all his bad actions. and also, how he could keep living beyond His Job. the artist formerly known as warren kepler. if he stopped Making Art, who was he to go back to? warren kepler didnt exist. he was just a husk. 

thats why i love reading Kepler Back From The Dead fics. it would have been SO INTERESTING. although its fair they wanted to wrap up arcs, or at least leave them on something somewhat satisfying, and kepler was definitely NOT done cooking. put that man back in the microwave he is STILL cold in the middle. 

anyway. kepler was a coward for dying but at least cowardice is human. 

>He couldnt tell anyone. What he was planning. couldnt even tell jacobi, "hey, im on ur side and also im going to stop it all. and sacrifice myself" because rachel was there. rachel was watching, and she was arrogant that kepler couldnt possibly not be on goddards side. yeah she probably definitely knew he cared about jacobi, but the others? she was not expecting him to actually have the confidence to go aginast CUTTER. 

jacobi begged for him to be on their side, argued good arguements,

but jacobi thought. there is no way this will work. absouletly no way he will actually listen to me. but he did. kepler had already planned this. kepler couldnt put into words why he was doing this, but when rachel asked him why he echoed their words; because he is human. 

but kepler couldnt tell jacobi that he was listening. and that he cared about him. he couldnt say he wished jacobi would make it out alive, or that the others would b ok, or that he wasnt going to make it back. 

all he could say was "Thank you Daniel, and goodbye." AKJHSDKJAHSKDH that line makes me want to CRY. its more evidence that kepler totally knew he was going to die. or at least expected it. the way he said goodbye like he knew it really was the last. called him daniel, and maybe others werent aware what that really meant, perhaps they were, but jacobi knew he never called him that. that that meant something. he didnt know what, but he assumed it was a "sorry, you are wrong and I am right, and you are going to die, and perhaps you deserve to in my eyes." when it really meant "You are right. I love you. I would do anything for your safety even if you may never know I was doing it for you." 

.... "thank you" for being in my life? for teaching me how to be good? for everything? AUGH I LOVE THESE FICTIONAL MEN. 

>His interactions while the others were mindcontrolled. I relistened to the first episode or two of the last season, and kepler honestly showed signs that he was already doubting goddard. that he wasnt as confident as when the others last saw him. and they commented on this- rachel talked about hera and kepler replied almost remincing about his time on the hephaestus. he said 'she had always been stubborn.' and rachel said 'careful warren, wouldnt want to sound like you admire it.'

And the whole scene with cutter, pryce, kepler, and mind controlled jacobi. Cutter definitely purposefully picked out jacobi to take notes during that. cutter realized something was off about him. He was weaker, almost upset that his subordinate was mindcontrolled? and would obey his every command? cutter had just improved them; and the kepler that cutter wanted wouldnt have cared. but he clearly did care, as he told- no, lied- to cutter about jacobi being a good team member. despite the fact jacobi almost got him shot, like, not even an hour before I think? He was worried jacobi would be punished, or hurt, or even killed. 

Cutter knew this. he took it into account, basically; he didnt kill him, he merely improved his brain. 

And. Eiffel, after being de-mindcontrolled because of the alien blood, waiting for Jacobi, had accidentily given himself away as being 'unmindcontrolled' when he ran into kepler. he expected to be carted away, re-mindcontrolled, or perhaps killed, or locked in a room, but kepler instead 'played along' and pretended like all was fine. he even sneakily told eiffel to be more careful next time. AND YET WE DIDNT NOTICE- eiffel didnt think to mention 'hey kepler totally let me get off scot free, he is maybe on our side. maybe i mean totally.' ?? and i didnt notice the first time around that THE KEPLER WE KNEW AT THE BEGINNING WOULD TOTALLY RAT HIM OUT INSTANTLY. he was always on their side, and perhaps always planning something. maybe since the interaction with mindcontrolled "she was twenty-eight!" jacobi.

[crows-canvas]

Okok another doodle dump. These were from as I was playing AA4&5 (except for Dollie and Runo, drew em separate) I just had a habit of staring at the characters like “i like you. im gonna draw you.” And so I did. My controller ran out of battery a lot because i just idled for 20ish minutes each time i drew someone 💀

Kristoph's was when he stood next to us in the stand

Wocky's nervous side glance

Jinxie hiding

Kept it simple for mr booby and swapped between staring at his portrait to looking at him right in front of me.

I do also have one of Furio when I was playing T&T and I'll get that up later

I found them! Phoenix was when i first started playing the trilogy which was like.. mid last year? Then I loved Furio so much that I decided to use him as practice! Art study i guess? I pulled up one of his sprites then just like. drew it as exact as I could. And it was cause i just finished watching a video on art studying and stuff and i thought i wanna try that so i did… with Furio

Super funny fact I actually hate drawing people! And then I played AA, obsessed over Nick's nose shape in that closeup sprite then decided, fuck it i wanna draw his face! And now im weirdly comfortable with drawing people????? Power of fixation

[chipchopclipclop]

love ur baldurs gate 3 oc so much. idk anything about the game but i genuinely likes him. i wish hes a real character bc i would buy the game for him

thank you anon i know this message is weeks old but ily and also im going to use this ask as an excuse to dump information about him now (swagdor lore (swaglore)) for anyone who cares

general stuff;

hes 49 years old as of game time

necromancy wizard, learned scholar, heavy interest in the boundaries between life and death and undeath, researching different types of resurrection unrelated to god worship (just not a big fan of asking for favours yknow)

stoic even keeled personality, reacts neutrally or stone faced to most things (this does not mean hes uncaring, hes got a curious nature). he used to be very showy and loud when he was younger, he finds that now very embarrassing

used to be a leader of an adventuring band in his 20s, fell apart when his group were defeated in battle leaving him lone survivor, wasnt a necromancer back then

has a distinct lack of self regard, half of him believes he'll be more of use untethered to the chain of mortality (undead in some fashion, or just thinking his corpse more functionally useful) the other half is just still struggling with survivors guilt (lol)

wanders around looking for old crypts and tombs to help his arcane pursuits, do-good's alot accidentally while he does, though most people get scared of him when he reveals the necromancy magic so hes got a mixed reputation (has some sort of misnomer like The Specter of so-and-so that wyll probably recognizes and laughs about)

will go along with just about anything if it amuses him, and has a weird sense of humour. hard to catch off guard or fluster, he yes-and's people alot to see how far they'll go with something or out bluff them (sometimes this causes them to try and beat the shit out of him)

truthful about his feelings when asked, but rarely volunteers his thoughts on things of his own accord, this gives him a weirdly mysterious image at first to most people

treats his raised corpses with care befitting living beings outside combat, and used to even raise some for company even if they were functionally just puppets.

he likes skeletons more than zombies (smell…)

his fake in game quest line is called 'The Wandering Necromancer' and involves inquiring about his old adventuring days of times past and learning why he's so into skeletons. He eventually reveals his past and you can bring up his groups old misadventures (oh my god you were the backstreet boys???) and he is very embarrassed by it. He reveals his group was felled by a lich, and he never found their bodies so hes always been curious on a way to speak with them again somehow.

plot continues BLAH BLAH eventually you find out that lich is still around and swagdor's old friends are now in its undead service so you go to kill it <3 but on the way he considers if he should take the lich's place so he can have his old companions around again (even if they're in his undead service) and try to give them some semblance of new twisted life again. You either help him with the preparations (yay phylacterys) or go bro you need to Move On. Man. and instead choose to release their souls when the lich is killed.

swagdor is stronger as a lich but also becomes even more detached from concepts of mortality (his sense of danger is basically nill now regarding others... its okay if u die ill bring u back somehow :) <- unnerving smile) and also all his dead friends are talking to him in his ear so he's constantly got a sense of being away from everything.

unliched swagdor moves on properly and begins The Healing Process (better late than never king) and seems more present in current ongoings, finding a place he can really set his feet. He's also less obsessed with death but sees his necromancy instead as a means to help and speak with wayward souls of the dead.

useless trivia corner: his names swagdor bc i based him off an old div2 oc i made when i was playing that game with aqua, where i used one of the randomly generated names they gave me and put the word swag into it (lol) i now am using his div2 swagdor's adventures as a semi basis for his new bg3 versions background thats why his younger versions outfit is based off that one captain armour set i never took off in that game

[cartoonkitten]

my thoughts on 200% wolf because i have a lot of jumbled thoughts after finally seeing it after waiting 2 years

SPOILERS ‼️‼️‼️

i’m gonna tell you all right fucking now, that this movie is seriously so perfect and mind-blowing i’m not joking. it might be just me, considering a lot of outsider’s thoughts on it, which are now completely illogical to me cause i genuinely thought this movie was so fucking perfect in practically every way. like i’m shocked this comes from the same franchise i’ve been watching for 4 years (not in a mean way just in an insanely grateful way!!!)

OK I MUST ADDRESS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. THE ANIMATION IS JUST AS FANTASTIC AS IT IS ADVERTISED. LIKE seriously!!! they weren’t lying when they said it was pixar-level, because IT IS. the production value for the entire film is incredible enough, but the visuals are seriously impressive. they are off the charts good!!! the animation is so beautifully, fluid, rhythmic and have such a good flow to them that make everything so eye catching. the character acting and attention to details in it every movement is so well thought out and contributed to each character well. the slapstick, bounciness, and toony nature of it too make it sooo fun!!! like the trailers and clips were one thing, but getting to watch the entirety of it, you just really get immersed with out visual stunning it is. such a thing to behold!

another thing i gotta point out is the score and pacing, which go hand in hand to me. the pacing in this movie is actually so refreshing and it all flows well together, with the score only amplifying every scene (seriously, the score in this movie is insane!). i honestly didn’t think any scenes dragged out too-too long or went by too overwhelmingly fast. of course, with the visuals and everything else (and me being autistic for this franchise) it’s easy to be distracted otherwise, but still. i actually found that very satisfying. it also makes the action and other really good scenes all the more fascinating to see.

even the beginning of the movie automatically set me up for a breathtaking experience. the pan over the moon’s surface, the moonspirits’ theme and role, along with moopoo’s introduction. the establishment already made me excited— AND FREDDY’S NARRATION AT THE BEGINNING IS STILL FUNNY TO ME. hardcore awesomeness. AND ALSO that whole blimp rescuing scene is genuinely so good and fun to watch, like the slapstick and action are so good and funny and such an exciting start. and freddy and batty’s dynamic is still my most favorite beloved thing ever.

"it’s easy for you to say, you’re 100% wolf!" and still, freddy is actually the realest one in the room. HES TRYING HIS FUCKING BEST. disabled trans allegory real.

AND WHEN HE BECOMES A WOLF HES LITERALLY SO SILLY. HIS MONTAGE OF SILLINESS. also moopoo tries to eat a crow for some reason after pissing off freddy and it’s even sillier. AND AGAIN, THE HUMOR IN THIS MOVIE IS ACTUALLY INCREDIBLY GOOD. LIKE it’s genuinely funny and works so well, especially with the slapstick.

THEN TO THE DOGS. though they’ve weirdly became irrelevant especially after being retconned from the series, seeing them again here is.. honestly awesome! like they’re actually really funny and entertaining in this movie!! TWITCHY GROWING A SOFT SPOT FOR MOOPOO AND ACTUNG LIKE HIS MOM IS VERY CUTE. also the traveling scene on the buses was actually so funny. AND BATTY BEING AFRAID OF BATS IS ACTUALLY IRONICALLY SILLY, especially with her friendship with gar-gar later on, which i love by the way, their scenes are so blessed (also gar-gar is so cute i love him, he’s so somft. his name reminds me of gor-gor from gwar).

ALSOOOO THE MOOPOO DREAMING SEQUENCE IS SO INCREDIBLE TO ME. LIKE ITS SO FUCKING SWEET AND IM OBSESSED WITH IT. I LOVE HIM AND HIS MOM AND THE LULLABY SHE SINGS HIM. EVERYONE HOWLING ALONG IS SOOOOO (PUNCHES THE FUCKING WALL).

also this is so silly to me but i love when max makes freddy do a trust exercise and he attempts to do a trust fall and plummets on the ground and she’s like "what are you doing? no, go fucking kill those dogs"

moopoo starts to become vaguely corrupted with the earth magic that lies within that area. and it’s leaving me to theorize that it probably only, or at least predominantly, effects anything that is or comes from some form of moon magic. that’s just my idea. cause moopoo didn’t use and spells he just started becoming evil for no reason so, yeah, that’s what leads me to believe that.

as for more extensive character thoughts. max is actually an incredibly good villain. she’s insanely badass, intimidating charming, funny and vicious, yet there’s a level of nuance with her— which is kind of why i genuinely would’ve preferred had they redeemed her if i’m being honest. i dug her almost character turn around, because it honestly wouldn’t be too far from realistic to push her in that direction. in character context, her betrayal /does/ kinda still make sense, but also with the fact that she’s humbled herself over the years serving her consequences, and even vaguely accepting her difference, she still admittedly does acknowledge that, despite not deserving the treatment she initially got, she still did bad things that hurt innocent people, fronting defensively out of hate or corruption (arguably both). it probably wouldn’t have been a very drastic change to the plot had they had her fight them after being "betrayed" first, show that freddy can use the magic and overcome the corruptions. then have freddy confront her on how "you can’t force respect, and you can’t earn respect either if you hurt other people that could have," still implying how him and moopoo are misfits like her, and respect her enough to search for her help. having her confront what she’s been too scared to admit all along, and be able to combat corruption herself. then she pushes the moon back into place. freddy goes to help moopoo, who is presumably still being corrupted by all the magic being thrown around, and thus, the rest can continue how it did. although, i’d prefer max not be given her wolf form back like freddy did. let her state accepting her consequence and that she’ll take her time re-earning her respect again. if this all makes sense. that’s really my main idea for max, i just thought it would’ve been cool, and also a subversion compared to all the other villains.

another thing i wanted to talk about it how i appreciate how they worked with freddy’s character. anyone that knows me knows how heavily critical i am of the first movie (which makes this incredible movie feel like a fever dream), and especially how i feel about the writing surrounding, weirdly enough, freddy himself. it was all kinds of disappointing and underbaked with the message totally mixed up. to be honest, this movie take that same message and redoes it more considerably i reckon. freddy doesn’t get inherently villainized for unrealistic reasons, and he honestly feels even more in character in this movie. like freddy is such a good protagonist and i feel like this movie molds him into the most fitting and well thought out way for him. i greatly appreciate it.

there is probably more i will be talking about later, but this is what my main thoughts are. this movie is fucking amazing and i can’t believe it’s real i’m gonna cry

[tigerdrop]

Hi I pre-ordered the keychain and I'm very excited for it!! I wanted to know how you think it would go if Bill and Ford were to reunite at some point post Weirdmageddon, Bill is still incredibly obsessed with Ford (and likely that will never change), but Ford is angry at him because of the past, do you think they could work something out?

oh i absolutely do. i was just thinking about this the other day.......sure it would be healthier for both of them to cope and move on, but would it be more fun?? NO!!!!!!!!

i can make it work. im going to write this eventually but right now im working on a fic about the first time bill and ford hook up. but i can make it work

consider bill taking a lot of misguided lessons from his therapy sessions and thinking "well clearly the way to fix all of this and get sixer back is to go back in time and redo everything. but better this time". envision this going haywire in every way you would expect going back in time to fix things to do

even funnier if bill decides hes going to break out of the theraprism to do this. he Did not learn a fucking thing other than "if you are mean to somebody they might not like you anymore". mission accomplished

i think he could fuck things up so bad with time travel bullshit . it would be so funny. we all saw the fucking time travel episode, ok, now imagine something like that except with bill desperately trying to interrupt the timeline to show sixer that hes got Emotional Intelligence now, he did therapy, he made collages and lumpy clay hearts that he DIDNT smash into goop, and hes Better than the bill ford knew when he was younger. it would be so embarrassing to watch

my vision is that bill makes such a huge fucking mess of the timeline and of their dimension and it causes so many problems for so many people and they are all So mad at him. except, weirdly enough, for ford

the guys on trial for time crimes and the only one willing to say a nice thing about him is his dipshit ex with an ego bigger than god. because he actually feels touched that bill did all of this stuff just for him. and bill apologized, even if he doesnt fully understand the purpose of "apologies" or "contrition"

it hits ford square in the emotional intersection of "i never stopped thinking about bill even though he fucked me over and i never want to see him again" and "bill would cause this much trouble and this much chaos out of a misguided attempt to patch things up". he actually cares!!!

and its cartoons. its not like bill has to go to fucking time jail if i dont want him to. ford can abruptly interrupt to defend him out of nowhere while every single member of his family thinks he has lost his mind. the power of love (and time community service) can get him out of it. And it can work

ford never stopped being easy to flatter and having a god move heaven and earth just to make him happier is like the biggest ego boost known to man. so even if hes still hurt over everything i dont think he could resist feeling that special. that powerful

but now hes older and smarter and he doesnt have anything to offer bill. and bill doesnt have anything he wants anymore. except, you know. company

so i think ford is easily stupid enough to have one last pity date that turns into a second and a third and so on. its not like everything is fixed but bill showed that he was actually capable of emotional growth. he Did change. just for some dumbass human. which is crazayyyyyy

(and now at least 7 different people/creatures/entities would explode bill into 1 million pieces if he throws another fucking tantrum. and fords got that aluminum plate in his head......hes the one in control now. bill cant do anything except, maybe, break fords heart. which would also make everybody explode him)

everybody hates that bill shows up to family functions now but what can you do. sometimes the interdimensional dream demon that possessed you and slammed your hands in drawers ends up dating your grunkle. Its basically the same as having a stepdad

and they could fuck about it. The end

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Round 1

Propaganda why Tom Paris is insufferable:

"He's constantly messing up and barely ever punished. When he gets demoted all the way to Ensign, he manages to get promoted back up to his previous rank while his best friend he's a total dick to is stuck as an Ensign the entire show. He's also a smug dick"

"treats his girlfriend (later wife) b'elanna like shit by constantly neglecting her ditching her to do whatever Literally Cheated On Her With A Sentient Space Ship (not like full on but the episode is called alice for more context) n is like racist to her both in a space fantasy race sense and in a real world sense (b'elanna is half klingon n half human klingons are a whole thing to unpack but theyre primarily black coded n her human dad is latino n shes played by a latina actress) by constantly dismissing her emotions n accusing her of being overly angry n irrational cause of her biology While Knowing She Has Specific Insecurities Related To Her Being Mixed tom's bestie harry is more sympathetic n understanding of b'elanna than him cause tom is somehow holds the stereotypical boomer "i hate my wife" attitude in the 23rd century. tom is also weirdly obsessed with like two other people's romantic lives and the commonality between them is that tom is trying to encourage them to cheat on their partners so take that as you will. literally when i was watching voyager for the first time i kept saying "im never on his side in any given situation" cause dude's just straight up always in the wrong "

"he's a raging misogynist and only a slightly less raging dickhead in general. the way he treats b'elanna torres (his wife!!) in particular is absolutely noxious"

Propaganda why Gray Wing is insufferable:

"He’s an arrogant, controlling and childish bitch. Also he told a cat (Wind Runner) who was grieving her dead child that “Maybe it's best only the strongest kits survive.”"

"Protagonist who’s an apologist towards his awful abusive colonizer of a brother."

"He’s viewed as this wise and correct character in the series while he’s actually a @$$hole who’s possessive of his love interest (Turtle Tail) and didn’t want a domestic abuse victim (Bumble) to seek refuge in his home due to him being fatphobic towards her and being salty that his girlfriend stayed in her human’s house for the winter. He literally cared about how cats would negatively view his abusive dictator of a brother (Clear Sky) for killing Bumble while Bumble’s BLEEDING TO DEATH right in front of him as Turtle Tail is deeply grieving her. He’s also an enabler and/or apologist for Clear Sky too."

"TW: Apologism, Abuse, Misogyny, Fatphobia, and Death.

Gray Wing’s an awful cat who’s an apologist and/or bootlicker to his brother, Clear Sky, who’s an awful abusive dictator who killed multiple cats, mostly she-cats who are native to the land that Clear Sky’s colonizing.

Gray Wing viewed his love interest, Turtle Tail, more as if she’s a possession of him than an actual cat.

Gray Wing was apathetic and fatphobic towards a housecat, Bumble, while she was pleading for refuge within his group in order to escape and no longer live with her abuser, Tom. Due to the fact he believes that Bumble would be “too fat” and “useless” to join his group and the fact that he’s salty that Bumble is kind towards Turtle Tail and allowed her to stay within Bumble’s humans’ house (after Gray Wing was a jerk to her). Gray Wing also cared more about Clear Sky’s reputation amongst other cats than Bumble literally BLEEDING TO DEATH right in front of him and Turtle Tail, who Clear Sky BEATEN and caused the death of.

And the book series paint Gray Wing as a “wise” and “kind” cat, despite him literally… being a bad cat, including the reason I mentioned above, making making even MORE upsetting and insufferable to read about."

[lemon-wedges]

Do you have any fic recs for any fandoms you’re currently obsessed with?

Hmmmm well the three main fandoms I kinda rotate thru currently are The Great Ace Attorney(brry), Metal Gear(otasune), and Dungeon Meshi (labru)

I put it under cut cause I kept getting side tracking talking lol

I can start with labru but I actually haven't read that many fanfic? Mostly cause when I first looked up the tags I was suprised there wasn't much fic at all. But also not suprised cause the anime hadn't even revealed kabrus 1 secret (and the anime wouldn't even touch his 2nd secret this last season 🥲) so I thought I'd just wait till fics start accumulating before diving back in (if anything I need recs lol)

Accurate Models of course. Its the first fic recc's to me and it even inspired some fanart lol modern au. Kabru becomes obessed with the youtuber that does monster dildo reviews

Let's see for otasune....well I'll warn u. Mgs is probably the least friendly diving in blind given that that the lore is just Insane. But also like some in game info reveals are just so so special....it flavors the lore....

Half Way Hungry which I thought was real cute. Post series. Laios finds out Kabru has feelings for him and starts?? Writing in a journal studying him like one of his monsters?????

Aaandddd

Currently waiting for Games People Play and Empyrean, From the Summit to update (cursed laios who needs to get married or else he DIES and painter who takes interest in kabru...)

Anyways.

Hello World series. A Lot of pre-slash build up. They grow together, they trust each other, they love each other and oouuuggggg

to me otasune really is about 2 dudes surrounded by insane people and situations find each other and??? Proceeding to have a normal, stable loving relationship....and I cry cause canonly they just stay together forever buhuhuh....sorry I got caught in my feelings where was I

And then Baroryuu. Which....probably has the least amount of fics between all these ships but the one I want to just dump onto u lol

Anything by bosstoaster honestly. In Other Words for something silly. Moving Forward Using All My Breath for developing relationships in snapshots. And fuck it Feel This Static for abo porn ahaha AND THEIR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST AU

(What can I say. Toaster never misses)

(Also I think any other recs after this might be just porny feeling one shots.....)

Theophany . THEEE FIC FOR BAROK BEING WEIRDLY RELIGIOUS ABOUT RYUu and ryuu being like.....cool 👍

Shizi also one of my favs. IT'S so sweet and moody and bite sized, established brry pretending they're newly weds hehehehe

Judicial Assistant Barok Van Zieks. Barok visiting ryuu in japan decides to help ryuu with his confidence by becoming his assistant

Chaper and Verse is one currently ongoing. It's baroryuu book club!!! (With ryuu torturing Barok with his book choices )

The Fanged and the faithful. WEREWOLF AU WEREWOLF AU WEREWOLF AU.

With Claret Conviction which is also ongoing (and im definatly biased because it's the exact phantom au spin on them I've been wanting)

Grinding my teeth cause I want to add more but also maybe this is getting too long so I'll just....leave it there OTL

Anyways I hope u find something nice to read in any of this :D

[lanaactuallyabanana]

Sooo, Kenzie texted me and was like: "Can you request this from Lana for me?" and I was, "I got you." And sooo, she was wondering if you were able to do some roommate Ranboo headcannons with a female reader? Some little details is the reader is a shop-a-holic, usually leaving to go grab something from one store, and bringing home a ton of items. Also lots of sticky note reminders around the apartment for stuff the reader needs to purchase when she goes back out cause she'll tend to forget to get stuff she actually needs and will come home with random stuff. And yes, reader will get Ranboo stuff they want or stuff they eyed too long at the store, or just surprised them.

Take your time on it! Remember to eat, rest, drink lots of water, and have fun with the writing!! Feel free to delete if you're not comfortable doing it!

-Jackieee <3333 & Mackenzieeee :))))

THIS IS AMAZING. SO CREATIVE. kenzie ur so silly billy + ily both mwah

, you're so forgetful !

ranboo x fem!reader (platonic)

!! roommate (platonic, dont make it weird.) headcanons ahead !!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

a/n notes !!

I LOVE HEADCANONS YIPPEE

especially from my favorite mooties jackie and kenzieee <3

ok but srsly the ask literally described me

like i will literally catch myself going to target or something to buy like laundry detergent and come back with a goddamn pillow

like i am a victim of that (#freelana)

fic headcanons !!

i feel like ranboo would be the type of person to buy only what they need from a store and thats it

but y/n is the complete opposite so its the funniest thing ever

especially since they're roommates.

ranboo would probably be the one to go out to the store if they both needed something

when they first moved in together, they both needed mouse pads for their streaming setup but ranboo was busy editing so y/n went shopping for him

long story short y/n came back with a smoothie blender

"i asked you to buy a mouse pad."

"uh yeah i know, its right here silly. OOH LOOK IT COMES WITH A RECIPE BOOKLE-"

dw they ended up using the smoothie blender (cooking stream wowsies)

along with buying random stuff, y/n is also incredibly forgetful

like worse than ranboo 2020-2021 enderman dream smp lore era type of forgetful. so essentially really bad.

ranboo has this weirdly massive stash of sticky notes in their desk, which comes in handy!

ran leaving little notes for y/n all around the house

in y/n's bathroom, on their streaming setup, on their nightstand in their room, EVERYWHERE.

"can you stop leaving sticky notes everywhere, its like a nightmare."

"i'll do that as soon as you start to remember to get the right things."

"so that won't be for a while i assume.."

the sticky notes would be super sweet though

"y/n, buy ____ soon !! :)" or something

def has a smiley face somewhere on that sticky note

OR A CROWN TO SIGN THE STICKY NOTE OFF

while y/n has a shopping problem, sometimes that problem can be a solution.

ranboo's def not a good shopper for themselves, but y/n def is and knows what they want/like.

y/n buying little things for ran everytime they go out

ranboo doesnt know how to react each time they do that cause for they never expect it

forgetful y/n is very silly and i love it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

this is so cute!!!!! im obsessed with this RAHHHHH

thank you so much to kenzie and jackie (@catswithroses) for this request!! love u guys smsmsmsmsm xoxo mwah <3

hope u guys enjoy!

requests are open !!

[cheapcheapfaker]

-It’s 110% true that it’s different when it’s your own. I was an only child who did not like being around my little cousins as babies. I still don’t really care about other babies? Mine has impeccable vibes.

-I thought I’d hate the newborn stage but I actually love it. He’s just a little bean who naps on me. I’m obsessed. He is entirely a little creature. I now get why people have multiple newborns and then neglect their children as soon as they get older this is such a sweet stage. He Is This:

-it also 110% helps we have what is known as a unicorn baby. whenever he cries it’s for a know reason (mostly hungry this boy EATS) and he’s easy to soothe and sleeps every and anywhere

-as a gross person especially baby farts are HILARIOUS. He has these massive thunder farts. He burped so loud yesterday I thought he exploded. His poop looks like a fancy whole grain mustard. I love making up silly songs about the poop on his balls

-waking up at 3am/ multiple times a night is surprisingly easier than expected cause I just want to make him stop crying. (But not in a frustrated way but in a ‘im sorry you’re hungry lemme help’ way?) I’m tired but not too much and haven’t even upped my caffeine intake from pregnancy.

-actually I’d argue pregnancy is the ultimate infant pregame because no matter what kind of sleep I’m getting I’m not waking up ten times a night to piss a thimble and the melon headed monster isn’t eating my blood. Pregnancy exhaustion is uniquely all encompassing and terrible. Even recovering from my guts being rearranged on oxy I felt better because I just wasn’t damn pregnant anymore. And I had a relatively uneventful easy one!! being pregnant sucks!

-caveat: I am breastfeeding and boob is cheat code. Baby sad? Boob time. No bottle washing, no formula mixing, just pop that sucker on there. I was also told by multiple nurses I have “perfect breast feeding nipples” which is one of the weirder compliments I’ve ever gotten but I’ll take it

-I’ve also had no problem breastfeeding (bc of my perfect nipples. ofc.) and it’s so weirdly… nice? I love waking up early and watching bean do his lil stretch and then he just nurses as I hold him. I wasn’t sure if I’d hate it or what but it’s a v calming bonding experienfe

-when he’s hungry he “roots” which means mouth open he goes harrrgarrblwarbl and shakes his head back and forth like a dog. Sometimes a forceful head thrust. Love when he tries to find a nipple on your neck 😭 it’s adorable.

-technically you are not supposed to kiss your baby and I think by this point I have had his entire head in my mouth.

- you catch on so quick on how to diaper change. Same w burping or holding. I could count on one hand how many babies I held before the Bean. They’re sturdier than you think

-EXCEPT the soft spots on the back of their head like a moldy peach I fear every time I touch where the plates have yet to connect my finger will go thru. It’s so gross. Disgostan why do you not have a solid noggin bean

-the umbilical cord stump is a mass of rotting flesh and I lovingly call it his smelly button.

-huge caveat to all this: he’s a healthy baby who sleeps well and breastfeeds like a champ. I also have an equal attentive partner. I don’t know how people decide to do this solo it sounds unpleasant and ultimately stupid unless possibly there’s a village of grandparents/ others living w you willing to take on that responsibility. If you have a deadbeat partner or no village abort that thang.

[doubledyke]

Which Ed you are most alike? I'm kind a mix of both Edd (I'm introverted, I love books and reading, I can go from sweet to snippy in good and bad times) and Ed (I always do have my head on clouds, I'm hyperactive and have difficulty to focus on things don't interest me, and I'm kind of messy).

When younger, I had a bit of a Eddy streak (I was really impatient and prone to anger as a young teen).

everyone has a little bit of each ed in them. they each have positive and negative traits that make them really relatable. i always say im most like eddy cuz i particularly relate to his female rage lmao. i was always told that i had a "bad attitude" growing up but no one ever considered why that might be. after like... idk 7th grade, school was torture and i really struggled, so that's a big one. as a kid/teen but i was weirdly obsessed with all things vintage (still am) so i find that part of his personality really funny and endearing. i also have a bit of rbf and can be quite foppish. let's see uh.... oh i like to yell. buuuuut then again my anxiety has pretty much dictated my entire life and i've never had a relationship with my parents, which is kinda edd-like. then there's the whole ocd thing. my inherent guilt causes me to be compulsively nice a lot of the time. i'm a stickler for organization and keeping things clean and tidy. hypochondriac and germaphobe. and then i'm a dumbass who loves horror, so there's some ed in there. i like to day dream, i just wish i was as creative as he is. i was taller than everyone growing up so i guess i relate to him in that way too.

[roarsaidthedinosaur]

how are the other items on your todo list going?

i was going to be like A SMASHING SUCCESS I DID IT ALL a little bit tongue in cheek and leave it at that bc it’s been a hard year actually but it turns out i really have intentionally done a lot of these things?? so i got excited and now i want to share!!! thanks pal for asking i appreciate it 💕

the only thing i haven’t done as i intended is the first one, i have been managing ~*~an illness~*~ and it’s not comfortable for me to go out or host folks while under the weather so i will say my IRL friendships have been mostly me texting my friends that i love them and keeping up with my pocket friends but not planning a lot of visits/travel. i DID manage to make it to europe to visit my bff due to some last minute convenient timing and a lucky week of feeling well enough to get on a plane. and when i am feeling mostly alright i do make a point to hang with my brother & my dnd pals in person!! so really i am completing this one in spirit even though it wasn’t how i pictured it when i wrote it (hanging out with friends once a week)

but yeah like - the rest of it i’ve made very distinct choices to do (or not!!!)

i’ve cut back on the time i gave to one extremely old friendship where every conversation became a therapy session and was making ME feel like i needed to go back to therapy just to get the tools to help this person and that was causing me a lot of stress. but instead i was simply like “i don’t have time for this” and so i stopped making time for it and it allowed me to free up so much energy & brainpower to give to my other pals. we still talk but it feels so nice to not have to walk on eggshells with every interaction, or get the feeling of dread in my stomach every time i saw a text from them.

big lady & the boy have become so much more snuggly with me now and i honestly love it lol like i hate the cat hair floating around the house and being in my nose but i love when i’m sitting on the couch and honey picks MY lap to sit in and cooper lets me scoop him up and parade him around the house like he’s my little babydoll

i have been working real hard on setting boundaries with family members and not keeping my mouth shut when my folks say something out of pocket but also in general i’ve been trying to be kind in interactions rather than just placating people. this has kinda been hand & hand with energy vampirism ignoring like this one lady from work kept asking me to hang out outside of work because “you’re the only person who’s nice to me” and i was like “and i will continue to be, but i do not want to hang out outside of work” because she only ever talked about herself lol. and THAT has been super freeing, not doing things that i don’t want to i mean

i recommend everyone gets a humidifier for next to their bed, 10/10 improved my breathing at night especially during the dry season!!!! just make sure you clean it weekly

i dance around my house pretty much once a week if i’m honest, usually while waiting for nuggies to finish in the air fryer

im still obsessed w my girl as i was on day 1 and i can’t wait to marry her someday. i’m gonna be the guy that’s always like ‘MY WIFE—’ lol building a home with her has been so natural and fun over this year and it helps that we have similar taste in things but really i have been declutterring so much of MY stuff to make room for OUR things and it’s been so. rewarding sounds dumb but it’s like there’s no doubt that we are always on the same team and it’s so great. i still very much have the things that in love squirreled away like my edward cullen and katniss everdeen barbies and my digimon figurines but i’m trying to be very intentional about what i keep vs give away vs throw away and it’s such a project but i’m excited about doing it

keeping my inner peace has become weirdly easy since i have a VERY clear picture of what’s important to me in my life since this flare up started. my priorities are: my health, amelia, my family & friends, keeping my house nice/reducing stress in my life, and THEN work. it’s still a priority but like no i’m not missing my gf’s birthday dinner because you suck at planning meetings across timezones. and no i’m not doing 42hours of travel to india because you think it’ll be good for me to have experience on their computer station rather than the one in my home office. figure it out lol

on top of all of it, my new year’s resolutions i wrote down in my actual journal were to open a high yield savings account and start saving (for a house??? an airstream?! who knows not me yet tbh) and also to read one book a month, and i’ve done both of those things so far!! i’m actually up to 11 this year and about halfway thru my next one and it’s only september

so despite this year being a little crappy health-wise i’ve actually done so much work to be happy. thanks for the reminder i didn’t know i needed!! :-)