#cause i know not all of you settled
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It took me a year and a half to get a group of 6th grade boys to stop idolizing men like Tate, Trump, and Musk. Let that sink in.
Gen Z, and to an extent, Gen Alpha, have many young boys in their flock who have been impressed upon by adults like Musk, Tate, and Trump, for several years over the empty promises of money, women, and power.
We allowed this to happen by giving such men a platform, and I fear that as these boys get older, they're going to become more radical and entitled. They already see that a man can rape and bully his way into becoming a president. They're seeing "grab 'em by the pussy" live up to the hype. They think The Handmaids Tale sounds wonderful for "making life itself the economy" (said by a former student of mine).
It took me a year and a half to get a group of 6th grade boys to stop idolizing men like Tate, Trump, and Musk. I don't know where to start the process with a group of millions.
#As a mental health provider. As a female bodied person. As an LGBT. As a US citizen. I don't know if I have the strength anymore.#i know i do deep down but man#seeing the results thus far#ive never been more disappointed in people younger than me#you were supposed to be better than us#better than those that came before#and even with my disappointment i still have hope for you#cause i know not all of you settled#but idk how to help you and maybe its not my place to#but i still want to try for those of you that give a shit and are still in the fight#i cant save a million lost boys or girls for that matter#but if its a small group of 2 to 6#aye#i can do that#im speaking to my former experiences as a student aid and student teacher and mentor#its bad guys#its really bad
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#we trade pain for wisdom#whatever the case may be if it’s you or if it’s me growth and change and learning from the mistakes are all that we can do#to add to it didn’t deserve to know me like that* or appreciate my time etc#but throughout all the hardship I’ve been through with people that I didn’t work out well with (familyfriends romantic relationships)#ive learned a lot throughout my life from people and myself included#I’m grateful and appreciative of the wisdom I’ve gained and how I’ve overcame it but sad & angry at the thought of remembrance#I know what I’m saying is vague and this post isn’t about a specific person but just looking at it as a whole#people who genuinely like you and care about you want the best for you and will want to make things work no matter what#people who value you don’t treat you like shit people who value you show appreciation for you#people who love you let you know just like people who don’t they all let you know#but there’s been some instances where I’ve been the one who made mistakes and caused issues and things of that nature#I’ve taken those mistakes and learn from them and have grown from them since they happened#that’s the point of life learning experiencing understanding and growing#with or without you I will be fine :) I’m happy whether you’re in or out of my life#that statement alone if I had been told that before I would’ve cried my eyes out but now I’m like I’m fine with or without I don’t need#anyone or anything but if you want to tag along that’s fine if you don’t want to that’s also fine the freedom is there#it’s freeing in my heart to say that tbh#I know my worth and what I deserve I’m not going to settle for less
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God's Country, Ethel Cain
#got bored was thinking about wolves. specifically muzzle grabs. felt like trying something new#hey do you guys know how difficult it was to find a picture I liked of muzzle grabbing?#i ended up settling for that second picture I used and that's not even a muzzle grab#cause they don't have each other's snouts in their mouths#but like. every picture is one dog looking mildly annoyed while the other one has their whole snout in their mouth#but like. when MY DOGS do a muzzle grab it looks like this animalistic approximation of a human kiss#which is what I would've really liked. but whatever#anyway I really like this song guys I really fucking like this song do you know that. top ten songs of all time#ethel cain#ethel cain typography#I guess???#idk what you should tag these with
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Danse has to get homesick In Sanctuary. Like despite being uncertain of how much his past is real including times with the Brotherhood, those memories were home. The Brotherhood was home especially the Prydwen.
No matter all the comfort and the luxuries SoSu could put to make him feel more relaxed or like it’s his space it’s still not home. It’s so unique to him cause everyone else has a home in a sense. A thing or place they can come and go to as they please while Danse doesn’t. He can never go back to the people he considered family and they can never go to him without serious consequences. It doesn’t help that (due to his own faults and beliefs) a good majority of the new people in his life do not exactly like him.
It’s so isolating for him as the wasteland is also a different culture in general. Theres so much he’s not used to vs what he is. But all in all I think that’s a good thing. I feel as if Danse had a better arc in game it would 100% have him learning or developing a sense of home before a sense of self. I think it gets overlooked that Danse is a person that likes or feels like he needs to belong to something. A cause, a philosophy, a mission. He needs a goal. He must learn to live for himself and his purpose but it’s clear he wants to find that through something which is why he latches onto the Sole Survivor after rather than just wander the wastes. He needs something, anything to base a sense of self on at this point in time and who better than the person that opened their home to him in the first place.
He’s a dude that needs a foundation or home to ground himself on or else he doesn’t know what to do with himself or even start.
#my persona take it that’s why despite Danse being an ass to the other companions at time SoSu gets it cause they remember when they just#woke up from the vault#like the world was so different and the things they thought were outdated wrong or nonexistent by now#Danse has a long way to go but they know how hard and detrimental it can be to do it by yourself and they know Danse would get better if he#actually learned and lived under not the bigots of steel#cause I put him in sanctuary after and he always stays far from everyone like strong and patrols the edge like he’s avoiding everyone or he#is not comfortable there so I imagine he’s like getting used to and actually letting it settle he’s a synth#his life if he wants to call it that is a lie and th wonky place he felt like he had a purpose now wants him dead#and finds him a disgrace and he certainly does to cause of bos propaganda#like he’s racist but the story clearly shows you it’s like this is what been enstilled in him cause he can get better that blind betrayal#and before I get someone being like but he only gets better cause he experiences the oppression and like yeah#he got yanked out of a pseudo religious organization with highly conservative views for the setting and was put at thr opposing end despite#all hes done and rhe brotherhoods supposed loyalty to each other doimg nothing tk belp#him and now hes realizing thag if he was a synth and didnt know ans lived a life fully beliving he was human#than maybe the brotherhood was wrong abouy things or at least synths#like hes not gonna change over night and bethany esda certainly does not know how to right charactwr arcs well in this game#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse#danse fallout 4#talking about him like i ever side with the brotherhood
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What better way to practice new prosthetics then to piss of the bitch that got you to need them in the first place!
In other news, my pirate ocs Gali and Ido (with a third Meridi not present) who are the two sides of the fulmini cult escapees :P
A bit of backstory under the cut since they're the only fuckers I have WITH a backstory! Which btw does detail cult shit so :P big fat warning for that-
The inciting incident on Petropia that introduced it's modern underground population to the surface named the Surface Craze was in all due part because of fulmini interference at the behest of the High Override, who saw what was initially just a planet entirely made of quartz-like crystal the Override Fleet could use as a power source. Having instead found that the planet was not only populated but by a species of the living variant of that same quartz-like material - electrical properties and all - but that additionally they can regenerate their crystalline body so long as they have the energy to pull from.
Seeing this as a solution to the fulmini's energy crisis - a perpetual machine at it's finest - the High Override sought to heh... acquire some petrosapiens for themselves. To their collective benefit, a community of petrosapiens had found their faith and world shattered, previously having been extremely devoted to the Sugi religion (derived from the ancient texts of Thuugi back when their tongues were long enough to be bitten off). Instead of needing to drag away dissenters who fought tooth and nail against the invaders, this community had already shifted their faith onto the false prophet of the High Override, which already had them fall into the Coupled Override head over heels.
The cult has now expanded it's pool of prey, and like the unwilling fulmini who gives the High Override their tithe (their minds, their central colony), the petrosapien cultists pay with their arms.
50 years (or the closest equivalent) into this arrangement, 50 years Petropia spent experiencing the surface for the first time in generations, Ido was born into the cult far away from the planet she should have known as home. Any doctor worth their salt had enough brains and stubbornness to not fall into faith-based trust of the Coupled Override, so between the lack of those and the remainder pseudoscience physicians left to echo chamber themselves, when Ido began developing Excessive Compression Disorder (ECD, a nerve-equivalent disorder that causes tension fractures throughout a petrosapien's crystalline structure) despite the rather obvious visible signed she went undiagnosed and improperly treated. At the age of 200 - a petrosapien's coming of age, and 50 years after Petropia's destruction - it was Ido's time to pay her tithe and begin her offerings to the High Override.
Gali - her sacrifricant - was to sever her arms below the elbow, as was procedure. What wasn't was the near explosive response from external pressure, or the last compressive force needed to completely shatter what had already started to break.
Cutting people's arms off is technically already a violent act however, though the lower arms survived the procedure as expected, the elbow and even upper arm had scattered shards of glass-fragile crystal in a visceral radius and physically severed through the sacrificant's central colony; then Gali was abruptly severed from the High Override after they felt as if a limb began necrotising. Sacrificants nor executioners really need an active memory to do their jobs, so Gali didn't need to have memory for however long their colony was one with the High Override's. Forcefully amputated from the larger system like an infection without any of the memories of being apart of said system however, kind of rewinds a colony back to the people they remember being long before any interference.
While Ido was caught staring wide-eyed, fearful, and newly lacking the limbs she thought she could regenerate easily - her arms try and try but they shatter like glass, crumble like sand, and she violently shudders like gravel grinding into each other - Gali regained access of their long unused senses and found a sea of hostile enemy combatants staring back. With all the training of a military general with none of the present self-awareness to realise they were the cause of the currently very panicky rock's lack of arms, Gali almost like a flick of a switch reverted to the many rules of engagement regardless of the fact that they were sporting exposed central colony that may or may not have been another's with their own collection of memories.
Seeing to rescue someone who had all their rights to fear them, Gali and Ido fled to the stars.
With a few language barriers mixed with someones learning they haven't spoken much longer then anyone thought they did, discovering how planets that were meant to be each other's home have been destroyed and irrecoverable, and learning the before and after to the horror story that is the High Override and their cultist network of external nerves and collective colony, Gali and Ido may or may not have gotten arrested :P
And they probably would have been tried for crimes neither of them could particularly understand not having learnt any of the common universal languages, up until the point the prison ship was raided by a collective of pirates only working together for equal cuts of the profits (the Plumbers used a prison ship to transport the Annihilargh while they still thought it to be a threat, what's to say they wouldn't simultaneaously transport prisoners - aka, the fucking point - with some high sought-after McGuffin). The pair would meet Meridi, a galvan with a penchant for mechanics and especially the kind that deceives an observer like - for instance - an android suit.
Meridi isn't here but gist is, she pilots both her own ship and an android resembling a human, and spies a pretty prize of walking talking taydenite. Instead of scoring a deal, she takes into consideration (perhaps with a cold calculation rather than a warm sympathy) the condition of ECD affected crystals and how much effort it would take to actually refine it and deems turning Ido into pocket change isn't worth it. In fact, further taking note of the explosive volatile footwork of crystallokinesis with the additional muscle of a fulmini veteran, actively helping Ido (and Gali by proxy) would potentially turn out more of a profit.
Gali isn't in dire need for hiding, but Ido uses shadow and a human-mouth jaw mask as tools to conceal what price her skin costs, while Meridi attempts to make prosthetics for a species that doesn't have nerves that also takes into account the unstable electrical currents produced by the compression of crystalline motor functions.
A bit of a tangent in a very long not-even-bothering-to-summarize backstory, I want to talk about petrosapien prosthetics, at least ones that can have 'motors' like Ido's arms (not like Chio's leg). With no external muscles to help strap in and extend the remnant of tendons humans have running through limbs, petrosapien exoskeletons do not offer the same interconnectivity and do not have easy ways to extend what had been cut off. Myoelectric limbs again by human standards also do not fit petrosapien nervous systems either, especially since the only nerves they have are in their equivalent of the central nervous system which also interacts with internal organs, the peripheral nervous system of a petrosapien operates with the highly structured yet individually unique non-standardised crystalline formations and compression. What Meridi does however is take material from Ido's crystal to create the joints in a conductive copper rod prosthetic (insulated in rubber to prevent harm to others), where Ido's compression triggers electricity to run down to remotely compress the crystal joints, which compress under the pressures of electricity and send the signal to be compressed again until motility is achieved.
And that is a lot of context :P woops- I either make no backstory or I make this convoluted piece of moving puzzle pieces, the duality of man I suppose :P
#gali#ido#fulmini#petrosapien#ido is hiding the fact she's a petrosapien in the same way tetrax hides the fact he's a petrosapien :P#oc#ben 10 oc#ben 10#fanart#cult#cult mention#the cult details are under the cut but they are mentioned to be ex-cultists in the caption#so it turns out i did end up using something from that mega collection of images#lowkey (highkey actually) i was inspired to give ido a human-mouth mask from that one cover of thunderstruck#thunderstruck guzheng cover by moyun i believe- i do hope it's not like a facial corrective mask and i'm taking that and using it wrong#but moyun covers her face in all videos so forgive me if i'm completely enamoured with the mask design#gotta be honest with you- i made the concept of ido (pirate petrosapien) based on that mask alone#before i had settled on other half of an ex-cult duo#let alone bringing another older actually a pirate character to create another fucking trio#gali as a fulmini uses plural they/them by default but ido with her fulmus/petropian pidgin accidentally single pronouned gali as she/her#gali doesn't mind it she'll just say it's the plural she/her and they'll nod like it makes sense#(anything can make sense when you're one of two people actively speaking a pidgin language out of necessity)#it's not because gali has 'hair' those are the equivalent of exposed nerves (a fun prank to play on your friend *immense pain*)#but those are parts of other's central colonies with their own memory overriden or not#gali mayy or may not have the fulmini equivalent of a dissociative disorder (more osdd than did if anything)#but the functional equivalent in fulmini biology is quite literally caused by having someone else's brain attached to you#more akin to a male anglerfish than childhood neuroplasticity developing coping mechanisms#and introducing excessive compression disorder! a petrosapien chronic illness! yipippie!!!#i know functionally ecd (or this fictional version if humans have their own ecd acronym taken) isn't a problem real people face#but even in a fictional setting i want to be respectful and hopefully it was?
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hello honeybuns & happy sept! ⁽⁽ଘ( ˙꒳˙ )ଓ⁾⁾ i hope this new month & the coming ones are nice & calm <33 & filled w nothing but tenderness & love (* ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)” mwah!
#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals!#hi hi!! phew things have been a WHRILWIND in my neck of the city ໒꒰ྀི��﹏𖦹꒱ྀི১ there were lots of ups & recently a lot of downs#i moved into my new place w boyfie!! wahoo!! that is smth im super happy & excited ab! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و✧*。#& we’re p much all settled in! we just need some cool furtinure & stuff to put on the walls :3#OH & IM AR 29 IN GENSHIN & I GOT MY FIRST FIRVE STAR!!! IT WAS DILLUUUCCCC (੭ु ›ω‹ )੭ु⁾⁾♡ I SCREAMED!!!!#& i was pulling on yelans banned so i was a lil bummed i lost my 50/50 but EEEEP!! DILUC!!!! <333#but my bf’s gma hasn’t been doin too well & thats caused this part of my extended absence (꒪̥̥﹏꒪̥̥ )#so im def feelin lots of emotions & changes & stuff but i wanted to keep you all posed a lil bit until i can hopefully come back full time#ilyasm & i appreciate you all MORE than you’ll ever know ᜊ꒰ ᜊ ´ ˘꒱ ੭♡ mwah mwah MWAH!!
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Y'all, me half losing interest in one of my fav fandom for the past 2 years is gen going to be my downfall.
This week, i have gone through, no joke, 10+ fandoms and none of them have stuck 😔
(REALLY big rant in the tags in case you want to read how my brain is getting rewired every few hours)
#let me tell you what has been spinning through my head for the past week.#arcane. transformers. moomin. sky cotl. eddsworld. bendy atim. my hero academia. sander sides. gravity falls. tf2. werecleaner. villainous.#and more i haven't mentioned#and some of these causing me to want to learn 5 different languages#like i already know 4 languages my brain can't keep up 😭#i have binge watched arcane. eddsworld. sander sides. gravity falls. and villainous the past month or so#most of which i haven't finished#and i'm going through some serious art block for the past 4 months bc of not liking my style all to much#SO THAT DOESN'T EVEN LET ME EXPRESS MY LOVE TO THESE FANDOMS JERNGLAJNLGRBIAED#and due to this jumbled mess of my brain i can't do my school stuff properly#also please i'm begging you if you have any tips on how to settle on a single thing for alteast a week then PLEASE tell me in the comments#lazybird rambles
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for prompts, might I suggest a number 14 with Julian takin care of Kira, and a ‘it feels worse than it looks—no wait-‘ with Julian being a bad patient?
oh my god I finally fucking finished it.
I am SO SORRY this took so long I got hit with. the most violent writer's block ive had in a HOT minute and this had me fighting for my life. I dont even know how many times I wrote and rewrote this. I went through so many different ideas it was actually ridiculous. at one point I had something finished but it Was Not Good and I dont believe in posting writing I dont like so I scrapped it and started again
I keep waffling on whether or not I like this, but thats entirely because ive spent way too long staring at it. im sure in a few days ill actually really like it, cause I really like the dialogue, which was what I wrote out first. pulling myself out of my perfectionism, I do think I like this, and at the very least im proud of getting it down when it gave me so much trouble
again, im so sorry it took so long, but writer's block is a bitch and ive had a lot going on lately, so I hope you understand <3
for the readers- 14 on the list is "Stop pretending that any of this is ok. It's not." I did adjust that one a bit cause I was having trouble making it flow. but, without further ado, here's what I've got!
Kira slides down with her back against the wall, grinding her teeth as she clutches at her wounded shoulder. The pain is still hot, the hole burned into her skin practically still smoking. She hisses as her palm makes contact with the sticky, raw flesh, but she still clamps down.
“Anytime you wanna get over here, Julian!” She calls, her voice strained.
“Doing my best, Major!” Julian calls from where he is, hunkered down behind some debris as a makeshift shield against the barrage of disruptor fire.
This is, in eloquent terms, a right fucking mess. Getting into a fight with a bunch of Jem’Hadar soldiers is never a good thing, even when they’re prepared. When they’re not prepared, it’s even worse. And this time, they weren’t prepared. Because there weren’t supposed to be any Jem’Hadar on this planet. This was supposed to be a quick pit stop for the Defiant, replacing some whatsit that O’Brien said was damaged in their last firefight, but then there were Jem’Hadar soldiers and they’ve managed to land themselves in a whole different firefight.
It really just hasn’t been a great week.
Kira inches closer to the wall’s edge. Her grip on her phaser isn’t stable, but it’ll have to do. She takes a deep, steadying breath, and then she twists over so that she’s peering out from behind the corner. She spots the Jem’Hadar pinning them down, quick count tells here there’s 3 of them, and she snaps her phaser up to hit them with some fire of her own. The motion pulls at her injured shoulder in a way that makes her want to scream, but she bites down on it.
Julian, bless him, takes the opportunity to lunge out from behind the debris. He scrambles across the gap, barely dodging the returning fire from the Jem’Hadar, and manages to throw himself down behind the security of the wall. He plasters himself up against the wall beside Kira, right as she ducks back behind cover as the Jem’Hadar’s fire intensifies.
Kira looks at him. He looks at her. He’s breathing hard and heavy, his hair a mess and dirt and blood staining his face. She musters up a grin to tell him, “You’re late.”
Julian gives her a flat look as he turns to her. “Forgive me, it’s a bit difficult to make house calls in the middle of a battlefield,” He replies, sounding very, very tired. But then his eyes flick to her bloody hand, still clamped over her wounded shoulder, and she watches his expression shift as he clicks back into what’s affectionately referred to as doctor mode, “Let’s see that shoulder, then.”
Kira moves her hand, letting Julian get a look at the wound. She winces as he pulls aside the burnt fabric, taking a deep breath in through her nose and resisting the reflex to jerk away. “How’s it look?” She asks, mostly just to distract herself.
“Like it needs more than what I’ve got,” Julian replies, frowning, “The dermal regenerator I have will do for now, but this is deep. I’ll need to immobilize your arm,” He tells her, giving her an apologetic look, “If you move it too much, you’ll risk tearing it open again.”
“Just do what you have to,” Kira tells him, “Won’t be the first time I’ve had to shoot myself out with only one arm.”
Julian nods, and returns his attention to her wound. “Right,” He pulls his kit up and rifles through it for a second. The first thing he pulls out is a hypospray, which he quickly sticks into her neck. Kira relaxes fractionally as the painkillers immediately start to work, dulling some of the burning in her shoulder. Then he’s pulling out the dermal regenerator, and bracing his hand against her shoulder again, “Try to hold still.” He advises.
Kira just gives a tight nod, already gritting her teeth and bracing herself. She feels the dermal regenerator start to work. The hypo helps, but it doesn’t take away that burning, itchy sort of feeling of muscle and nerves and skin stitching itself back together inch by inch. She clenches her fists tight, breathing hard through her nose as Julian works.
“Sorry, I know this stings,” Julian says, “I’m doing the best I can. This regenerator wasn’t meant for a wound like this.”
Kira grunts a wordless acknowledgement. If she says anything, it’s just going to be a string of curses. Instead, she focuses on keeping her ear on the sound of disruptor fire, making sure it isn’t getting closer. If the Jem’Hadar decide to come after them, she wants to be ready.
“Done,” Julian pipes up. She looks over as he puts the regenerator back in his kit, taking the worst of the pain with it and leaving her with a dull ache, “That’s the hard part done. I’m going to move your arm now,” His hands are gentle, taking her arm and carefully easing it away from her side, “There we go. Alright, hold it there, please.”
Kira does. Julian sits back, and unzips his jacket to get at his undershirt. “This will have to do,” He tells her, tearing a couple of strips from his undershirt, “These won’t be the most comfortable, but they’ll have to do. I’m out of bandages.” He leans back in, starting to bind her arm with the torn fabric.
“Sorry about your shirt.” She cracks weakly.
“I’ll get a new one.” He replies, without so much as a smile.
She hates how flat his voice is. Hates how… unlike him, it is. Quiet, with no bite. “C’mon, Julian, where’s that boyish optimism of yours?” She asks, “I could really use a hit of it right about now.”
Julian secures the bandage around her arm. “I must’ve dropped it when they started shooting at us,” He says, not meeting her eyes, “Do me a favour, Major. Don’t pretend any of this is ok,” He sits back again, still not meeting her eyes, all caught up in taking in his work, “Cause it’s really not.” He does look her in the eye, then. And he looks so… tired.
But then, he’s looked like that for a while, hasn’t he?
Kira gives him a smile. A sad, quiet little smile. “I never said any of this was ok,” She corrects, “I’m just… used to it, at this point.” Very, very used to it. Used to it in a way she hopes he never is.
Julian considers that for a moment. His expression is hard to read- sad, maybe. Sympathetic. Then he sighs, and breaks eye contact. “Well, I suppose I’m getting used to it, too,” He scrubs a bloody hand through his hair, “We should get going. Can you walk?” He asks.
No time for sentiment, then. Kira nods. “It’s just the arm,” She assures him, “I can do a hell of a lot more than walk.”
“Good,” Julian starts to push himself up to stand, “Let’s-“ He doesn’t get far. He wobbles suddenly, his eyes widening slightly as he nearly topples right over. He barely manages to catch himself, bracing a hand against the wall before he can fall against it.
Kira quickly reaches out to steady him. “Julian?” She sits up, frowning, “What’s wrong?”
Julian frowns, confused. “I… don’t know,” He says, looking down, “I can’t feel my-“ He cuts off, suddenly, his eyes fixing on something, “Ah.”
Kira’s brow furrows. “Ah? What’s-“ She follows his gaze, and comes to the same abrupt halt as she sees just what he’s found, “Ah.”
Julian has a substantial wound in his thigh. A chunk of his pant leg has been burned away, revealing a raw, painful-looking burn that’s steadily oozing blood down his leg. Kira’s eyes widen at the sight of it. That doesn’t look good. That really doesn’t look good.
“Well,” Julian says, “That’s not ideal.” And then he sways alarmingly, nearly crumpling right to the ground.
“Julian!” Kira lurches forward, manages to catch him by the arms. He grimaces as he eases himself down, taking his weight off his injured leg, “Damnit, Julian, what were you thinking ignoring this? Gimme that tricorder-“ She reaches for his medkit, not waiting for him as she rummages through it herself.
“I wasn’t ignoring it!” He exclaims, “I couldn’t feel it! Honest!”
Kira finds the tricorder and pulls it out. “Don’t tell me they augmented the ability to feel pain out of you,” He shifts again, adjusting his position to give her a better angle to scan him, and it draws a painful hiss out of him, “Guess not.” She hums.
Julian manages a weak chuckle, the first one she’s gotten out of him all day. “Not as such,” He confirms, “I’ve just been- gah!” He grinds his molars as she pulls the burnt fabric away from the wound, “Preoccupied.” He growls.
Kira huffs softly as she reads the results on the tricorder. It’s not a fun wound. “So busy trying not to get shot that you didn’t realize you got shot?” She asks, arching a brow at him, “I’m almost impressed.”
“Only almost?” Julian asks, all mock indignation, “I’d hate to see what I’d have to do to actually impress you,” He mutters. His eyes drift down, then back up at her. He looks worried, “How bad is it?”
Kira puts the tricorder down. “How bad does it feel?” She dodges.
“Pfft, this little thing?” He scoffs, gives a weak little wave that’s probably went to ‘wave off’ the pain, “It’s nothing. Just a scratch. It feels worse than it… no. No, wait, that’s not right,” He blinks, and she can almost see the gears in his head turning as he tries to figure out the order of the words, “I don’t mean to alarm you, Major, but I think the shock might be setting in.” He tells her.
Kira can’t help but roll her eyes. “No kidding,” She says, “This isn’t my first time, Julian. Hand me the regenerator, I’ll do what I can with it.” She holds her hand out expectantly.
Julian hands it over. “Now who’s being serious?” He asks.
Kira adjusts how she’s holding him, making sure she’s holding the burnt edges of his uniform away from his skin so that she doesn’t accidentally fuse any fabric to him. “Oh, so you can make jokes,” She takes the dermal regenerator and adjusts her hold on it, making sure it won’t slide out of her hand, which is slick with blood, “I thought you dropped that along with your optimism.” She gets the regenerator going, doing what she can with the wound.
Julian chuckles again, grins at her. “I told you, the shock’s setting in,” He replies, all charm, “I’ll say anything just to say anything. Apologies, but I’m going to be talking your ear off until we get out of here.” He warns.
Kira keeps her eyes on her work, keeps her hand braced on his thigh to hold him still. “As opposed to when you don’t talk my ear off.” She counters. After a few seconds, she can see that the burn’s healed as much as it’s going to. She switches the regenerator off and hands it back to him.
“Rude,” Julian huffs, taking the regenerator and putting it back in his medkit, “How’d the regenerator do? I don’t want to look.” He’s looking even as he says it, like he can’t help himself.
“It’ll hold,” She tells him, not seeing any point in sugar-coating it. He would see right through her in a second, “For now. I’m gonna bandage it, just in case,” She adds. Now it’s her turn to get at her undershirt, tear it up for strips of fabric, “I liked this shirt, you know.” She informs him as she does.
“I suppose we’re even, then,” Julian cracks weakly, “Have I ever told you you’d make a great medic?” He asks.
There’s the Julian she knows. “Flattery will get you nowhere,” She tells him. Satisfied with her bandages, she gets them ready, “I do have one question for you, Doctor.”
Julian frowns, confused. Yeah, the shock really has set in if he can’t see what she’s doing. “Go ahead.” He invites.
Kira starts wrapping his leg. “What are your plans for the rest of the day?” She asks.
He looks even more confused. “What are my-“ She yanks the bandages tight before he can finish, and he cuts off with a pitched yelp, “Fuck!”
Maybe it’s a bit mean to chuckle, but Kira can’t help it. She doesn’t often get to hear him curse. “Oh, language,” She tuts as she finishes tying the bandages off, “There. Nice and tight. That oughta hold you together till we get out of here.” She gives his knee a pat.
Julian pouts at her. “You enjoyed that.” He accuses.
“I did no such thing,” Kira replies smoothly as she pulls his medkit closer to her and starts rifling through it, not bothering to ask him, “Want a hypo?” She offers.
“No,” Julian shakes his head, making her stop short and give him an incredulous look, “I’ve only got the one left. Save it for someone who needs it.” He reasons.
Her look quickly flattens. “Don’t start with the heroics, Julian,” She advises, “You’re not gonna be treating any patients until after you’ve been treated. On the Defiant.” She doubts he can even stand on his own, let alone treat people.
“I can hold out till then,” He insists, “Someone else might-“
“Julian,” Kira cuts in, not giving him any room to argue, “Take the fucking hypo.”
Julian’s brows shoot up and he looks a little stunned. Just for a moment, though, before he huffs a bit of a laugh. “Now who needs to watch their language,” He says, his tone light and teasing, “Alright, go ahead.” He nods.
Kira takes the hypo out of his kit. “Oh, thank you,” She replies, making sure her own tone savours strongly of sarcasm, “You’re a terrible patient, you know that?”
There’s that grin again. All charm. “So Nurse Jabara keeps telling me.” He replies, like the pain in the ass he is.
“You should listen to her. She’s always right,” Kira sticks the hypo in his neck, and watches his shoulders instantly sink down a notch. She didn’t even realize how tense he was, “Better?” She asks.
Julian takes a deep breath. Probably the first one he’s taken all day. “…Much,” He admits, with the decency to look a little sheepish, “Thank you, Major.” His smile’s a bit less charm now, a bit more sincere.
Kira finds herself smiling back. “Anytime,” She says. She shoots a quick look around, regaining her bearings a bit now that they’re both taken care of. She can still hear blasters firing, but not as close. They might’ve moved off somewhere else. Or they could be waiting, “We should probably get moving.” She suggests.
“Probably,” Julian agrees, “Just one problem, though. I don’t think I can walk.” He tells her.
Kira figured. “Can you limp?” She asks, “I’ve still got two good shoulders, both perfectly good for leaning on.” She offers, patting her shoulder for emphasis.
There’s that glint in his eye. First time she’s seen it today- stubborn determination, or, in another word, cocky. “I think I can manage that.” He says.
Kira grins. “Great,” She ducks in and gets her arm around his waist, pulling him in snug against her as he wraps his arm around her shoulders, “Alright, lean on me. Steady. And…” She pushes herself up, and brings him with her. He leans heavy into her side, and she tightens her hold on him to keep him steady, “Up we go. Ready?” She asks.
Julian takes a moment to find his balance, shifting most of his weight off of his injured leg and compensating on Kira’s shoulder. “As I can be,” He tells her with a nod, “Let’s go.”
And they’re off. Making quite the sight as they hobble back into the action, pressed hip to hip and clinging tight to each other. But, hey, they’re still kicking, and they’ve still got their phasers, so they’ll make do. They always do.
#fic bitching#star trek: ds9#kira nerys#julian bashir#like I said I really like the diaogue#I had fun writing the dialogue#and it came to me pretty easily once I settled on what I wanted with the scene#this was originally. a bunch of things#my first idea was two separate scenes#and I drafted several versions of those#but they just wouldnt flow#even the one I had literally finished just. I did not like it#it was not good#and I dont say that to be hard on myself I know im a good writer and what I wrote wasn't good and thats fine!#they cant all be bangers#but I wasn't gonna post something i knew wasn't good#hopefully the wait was worth it cause like I said while I keep scowling at this#I know its cause im grumpy it took so long#and its cause ive stared at it for way too long so it was never gonna look right#until I posted it#anyways! thats enough tag rambling#I hope you enjoy!#I love Julian and Kira theyre besties in my brain
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i desperately hope that we get a parallel someday of lucy running out of bed to get ready for the detectives exam with her leaping out of bed to make it to the bathroom in time before she gets sick to mark the beginning of baby bradford brewing. 🥰🥰
#*carly catalogs#HI I'M BACK FROM MY BREAK YA'LL#OH MY GOD OR BETTER#the three of them her tim and tamara are having a movie night and order out#but like after a little while once the food's start to settle in their stomachs...#lucy jumps up abruptly covering her mouth like 'oh my god' sprinting to the bathroom#which is weird cause she ordered her fave item on the menu but oh well maybe it's a mild case of food poisoning???#(even though neither tim or tamara got sick)#little do they know it's due to a lil bun in the oven <33333#been marinating on this one for a few days and i had to come back to share it with you all#WOULDN'T THAT BE SUCH A GOOD PARALLEL?????? C'MON 😭😭😭😭😭😭#the rookie#tim bradford#lucy chen#chenford#otp: you know me so well
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Unexpected side effect of being Turkish:
Was daydreaming trying to visiualize a breakfast scene for a fic I will never write. A kid charachter was adding sugar to his tea thelephatically while his mom was adding cold water again telephatically and it was like oh to be raised by people whom understand our powers and nurture them. To see the effects of big things in small, natural ways.
Then I realized they are American, they wouldn't be drinking tea and the kid for sure wouldn't be drinking tea and I was left with the hole a well written meaningfull scene I cannot put in left behind.
#I am not going to tag this Turkish cause likke ı don't knoe#though#Tea#I am grapling with the realization that the hole tea would leave behind in me would be much bigger then I anticipated#Now I need to find something like that#I though of like a sandwich but like it is not the same#Cause like#Tea is shared with the whole family right#and tea with sugar and cold water is like consiously including a child in a tradition they wouldn't be able enjoy in a way they can enjoy#It wasn't just about powers#it wasn't just a mother caring for their child and helping them#it was also someone being included#I don't know okay#I just wanna write like a series with Kon getting thrown into several multiverses#and meets different versions of himself and people related to him#and through them settle parts of himself#Like a version whom uses the name luthor#A Kon after losing a lot has stoped being a superhero#A (grown) clone baby raised with his legacy#A child of his urged to show her age cause people forget you are a child when you are powerfull but you are a child#A version of him that figured out the limits of TTK can do nuclear fision and is a god in all but name#and a female version of him whom went to university got married is a mother but is still a superhero as well#a future he never imagined but now that he has seen it#he wants it#it is female Kon cause I have female!Kon brainrot#She is married to Tim btw but she doesn't tell and Kon doesn't realize
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More Sea Serpent Hobie thoughts!
(been thinking about this au all day, it's completely consumed my mind!)
I was kinda toying with the idea of Hobie being able to take a human form. (In this version most people wouldn't know that sea serpents exist so he uses it as a way to interact with humans without revealing his true nature to them)
He visits a small local fishing village from time to time to hang out with the locals- mostly at the pub, but he also likes hanging around at the harbour
Cause he just gets lonely sometimes and humans make fun company- he finds tales about daring trips to sea entertaining, but he also loves to hear stories about places from far within the mainland as he's always stayed close to the ocean.
Nobody in the village knows what he really is- they all just think he's this odd but kind loner who visits from time to time.
He's well renowned by the people in the village, both for being a nice and helpful guy and because of his unique skills*
He never pays for anything in cash but instead in old trinkets and treasures he finds while out at sea - this resulted in a few arguments at first, but now people have come to accept it, some even look forward to seeing what he'll pull out as payment whenever he visits
if he doesn't have any treasure to pay with he'll offer to pay in favours- specifically favours that involve diving.
*If you need a diving job done he's your guy
He can stay underwater forever and go far deeper than any of the locals.
So if you need to retrieve something from, let's say a sunken ship, he's your guy!
He insists on going on missions alone- it's just easier to get it done if he can dive unseen in his serpent form.
The only people he doesn't get along with are authority figures and whalers!
There aren't any whalers residing in the village but sometimes a whaling boat will come by to restock. Every time they do Hobie terrorizes the crew as much as he can get away with. While also being very vocal about his opinion of them in general. He's gotten in fights with them more than once.
It's also not unusual for the whalers to find their ship vandalised if they stay overnight.
When he's in his human form he lives on a small island near the village, but far enough away that he can't be seen changing from serpent to human form and vice versa
He has a small hut where he keeps some fishing equipment (mostly for show in case a human comes by and wonders how he's able to feed himself on this tiny island) as well as a small garden where he grows different greens.
He'll trade his food for stuff with the villages, he mostly trades for clothes, sewing equipment or beer at the pub
Sometimes he'll disappear at sea for weeks at a time- if any of the villagers question him about it he'll just say he was out fishing- despite him only owning a small rowboat with a small engine, that doesn't work half the time. - He uses it to get to and from the island in human form as to not alert the villagers to his true form.
At some point he befriends Gwen**, who's a newcommer, when a local overhears her lamenting the loss of her mother's trinket at sea, and they suggest she asks Hobie for help- since the guy has a way of finding things lost at sea
Gwen doesn't really believe he can actually find it but seeks him out nonetheless cause it can't hurt to ask
Hobie accepts the job. In exchange he wants Gwen to tell him about the places she's been to before she moved to the village.
(** you can kinda replace Gwen with any character you want. I'm kinda considering making a small fic for this au where the reader takes Gwen's place, but I don't have the time nor energy to write it any time soon. Also I've never written a fic from the first person point of view so I'm not sure how it would turn out lol.)
Lemme know what you guys think! 💙Any input is welcome- it can be world building stuff, story stuff, ideas for hobie's serpent form or something else!
#oh yeah I'm normal about this au#it's not like I'm constantly thinking about it- imagining all the stories and interactions you could write for this au#I've even drawn a few scetches of hobie's sea serpent form but I can't really settle on what I want him to look like#cause on one hand I kinda want him to be humanoid/mermaid like- but on the other hand I want him to actually look like a serpent!#might share them at some point but I haven't really drawn one that I want to consider his true form yet so idk#all I do know for certain is that I want him to be BIG in his serpent form#also any thoughts and inputs from you guys is greatly appreciated!#cause this au is still very new so I'd love to hear other people's ideas going forward#hobie brown#spider punk#sea serpent hobie#across the spider verse#atsv#across the spiderverse#across the spider verse au#spiderverse#my post#my au
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those mh comics are so ughhh where do i even start
#b.txt#mh#i think the pride comics were alright#but the moment they decided to canonize the once bitten twice dead book it just went downhill from there#houghh dude#i hate- and i mean HATE that they keep on making cleo and clawdeen enemies when their rivalry was settled on VOLUME 2#VOLUME 2. 2011 . 12 YEARS AGO#since cleo and clawdeen stopped being enemies . but no the stupid ass comics retcon that for more cheap drama#and these weird ass romance subplots--#what are they doing to frankie 😭😭 why she going after dudes that already have gfs#cause in g1 frankie would never do such a thing - even less she didn't like manny at all! so why are they now a thing?#mattel when i catch you#deep down i think this is not obtd's fault#but rather the haunt couture diaries were the cataclysts of this whole mess#like i know mh's storyline is all over the place but it would have been better if they gave us new storylines instead of this.... oh well#one positive thing is that i love the artstyle is so pretty#but only that#anyway rant's over
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being 21 is one of the most humbling ages ever like it’s always SOMETHING! literally always fucking SOMETHING!!! 🤩🤭
#this tag is legit just me complaining so ignore it lol#but my shitty brother having a shitty gf and always disrespecting my boundaries about her always being over at our apartment#her not liking me or his friends that are also my friends is the biggest red flag if I’ve ever seen one#and her causing drama with my parents and them putting me in the middle between them and my sibling#not to mention they’ve all been so mean to me lately!#also my dad’s side of the fam has been showing their true colors with me suddenly being an 'adult' but yet still too naive to know anything#and my friends using me for ranting and nothing else! 🤩#and the guy I liked not even having the decency to tell me he’s not into me and just leaving me on seen#like what is up with people just being mean and rude???#my heart is literally breaking and being tap danced on and no one seems to care#I’m being a huge baby about it but i have feelings too#literally need to curl up into a ball with a heated blanket and cozy pjs and a bradley there to snuggle me and put all his weight on me#but alas! i’ll have to settle for a shitty throw blanket and my pjs ripping apart at the seams#god I just love it here!!! (obvious sarcasm if you can’t tell from the nature of this post)
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The Khans - My Introspective
I don't like the Military and I don't support a lot of the actions the NCR does to the Mojave in New Vegas but in terms of the Khans I feel like the fandom infantilizes or diminishes the fact that they are or at least one of the most violent raider groups in the Mojave.
What happened at Bitter Springs was a tragedy, innocent lives were lost and the fact that the NCR swept it under the rug and continued to hunt down Khans that are truly trying to back down and resettle is horrendous, but there is a history to the NCR's aggression towards them.
The Khans first appear in Fallout 1, the main faction of raiders in the game besides the mentioned Vipers (who don't actually appear if I remember correctly). They came from Vault 15 along with the members that would form rival groups; The Vipers, The Jackals, and Shady Sands. They are a very large and foreboding raiding party, known for burning towns and encampments they attack and taking survivors as their slaves or slaves to sell. They are a big reason why the Jackals and Vipers are actually so small in New Vegas, they wiped them out.
Their main targets where Shady Sands and Junker town, the former of the two would be what became The New California Republic. This explains a big part of their animosity towards the Khans, only furthered by the fact the Khans kidnapped Tandi as a young girl, the girl that would go to offically found the NCR out of Shady Sands. When the dweller saved her and killed much of the Khans, this allowed the NCR to develop into what it currently is as they no longer needed to focus on fighting off constant raids.
When the Khans became the New Khans in Fallout 2, they barely resembled the Khans as they were led by Darion, Garl Death-Hand's son (former leader of the Khans). They were smaller and refortified vault 15, still planning to take down the NCR (at this time nowhere near as imperialist as they are in FNV) as mostly a revenge/power ploy. They manipulate The Squat, a group of y'know squatters, that lived in the upper levels, promising and lying about repairing the vault and offering them ransacked caravan resources if they kept the NCR away. Being their only life line The Squat had no choice. Still the chosen one got rid of them and they left New California for the untapped Mojave.
The Great Khans, the most current iteration, continued in the path as the original Khans, regrouping and gaining information from the Followers who hoped they'd use their new medical knowledge to heal themselves. They gained more members and a substantial part of Vegas territory before they were run out by the three families. They were pushed to Bitter Springs where they first and foremost continued to pick off and attack NCR settlements, most of which consisted of caravans, towns, and camps as they saw them as easy like in their old days. It was the killing of four influential Republic members (non-military) that brought on Bitter Springs.
Bitter Springs was the result of years of hatred and animosity and likely the goal to send a final message to the Khans. It does not excuse the fact that innocent men, women, and children were slaughtered with few survivors. It does not excuse the fact that the NCR has yet to make amends for this and continues to try and persecute the Khans even in moments of surrender.
This post is not to defend what happened but to give a quick rundown of the Khan's history and their history with the NCR. It's to remind people that the NCR is not just their military power but an actual group/settlement of people that were also attacked indiscriminately by the Khans. It's to point out that the Khans were not a band of indigenous people (no matter the comparisons) driven from their homes but raiders who fed into the brutal cultures of the west coast wasteland and were in turn treated to the same things.
My frustration comes from the fact that FNV has so many comparisons to indigenous struggles but the groups it chooses are not comparable at all. Their oppression hinges on not being familiar with their past, which explains why they have the reputation they do in canon. The "tribes" are often not even groups of minorities or have goals/desires out of acquisitions of power and I feel like it is important to both acknowledge that this is bad indigenous rep because it is not supposed to be. It is supposed to be a comparison of the in-game groups and how they all do the same things and justify it in their own fucked up ways, some better at it than others.
FNV of all the Fallout games (in light of it being heavily Western based) distastefully uses indigenous imagery and theming for groups that are sad mimicries of American indigenous cultures at best and outright offensive at worst.
#this is also to say the NCR is barely different but they imply New California is a city and safe and that once the NCR military leaves#they will properly try to settle and revitalize the area unlike the goals of almost every other group#the issues arise from the tensions of the hoover dam battles the legion and the corrupt leaders chosen in what is a terse time#but the khans are interesting to me and I like the named khans we have in FNV but they are treated to be almost innocent at points due to#all the Ls they keep taking despite admitting to their raider roots and being PROUD#they partnered with the Legion and before i hear they didnt know they were slavers at a point too and likely didnt care if they believed it#would not affec their own. the Mojave is an unforgivnig place and sometimes you make unforgivable alliances since they alienated all their#other options through their continued and consistent behaviors#like i could go on how bad the native rep is but I would not use any of the tribes cause they barely count the only difference from the NCR#is they organize themself differtently like id use the tribes in Honest Hearts cause holy shit is it bad and racist like at least the Mojav#tribes are just white dickheads brutalizing each other and not the characatures of native people the Sorrows Dead Horse and White legs are#like yikes I hated playing white savior the dlc#this is also semi personal because i dont see a lot of POC people in the fandom talking about the Khans and so I dont know if the proper#perspectives can be added because just because something can represent a culture or group doesn't mean it does or that it was the primary#thing they were trying to get across#like feel free to ask and talk to me more about it cause grrr#fallout#fallout new vegas#the great khans#the khans#new california republic#the ncr#fallout 1#fallout 2#papa khan
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Night shift or short attention span for the wip thing?
I’ll choose night shift basically Akihiko has this nightmare based on a real memory where he and Shinji got into a very heated fight that dissolved into like, chaos and angry beatings on Akihiko’s part and his nightmare is a warped version where he just keeps punching Shinji in a blind rage until there’s nothing left of him. He wakes up terrified and unsure of what’s happening and Shinji isn’t there BUT ITS OKAY HES FINE he’s just at work I think sadly unfortunately my man has to work a shitty convenience store job to make some money while trying to figure life out and he’s temporarily working night shifts so that’s why he’s gone and Aki does call him at work in the middle of the night for reassurance and asks if that incident really went down the way he remembers it (it didn’t). It’s kinda dark but has a nice ending at least
#ask#idk if ill ever like. finish and post that one hm#but what triggered this idea was like. the pain of a loved one crying and screaming over you but all you can do is sit there unfeeling#akihiko was mad at how removed shinji has become and how he just doesnt seem to care about anything anymore and its very upsetting#and aki gets really emotional and theyre fighting and hes crying and shaking but shinji isnt fighting back hes just letting it happen#hes just lying there and seeing his friend on top of him sobbing doesnt seem to affect him in any way cuz hes so emotionless#and akihiko just gets more mad at that and thats what causes him to freak out cuz why isnt shinji fighting back anymore#and then you know in the nightmare its warped with guilt and fear and ends with aki being so caught up in his reactions#that he doesnt notice how hes hurt shinji and its too late and hes killed him#cuz id say once everything settles down post canon theres a lot of lingering anxiety about everything#aki fears that he pushed too hard and drove shinji away and didnt notice his pain until it was too late#but when he calls shinji to get the real story it obviously isnt how aki remembers cuz he first off didnt kill shinji#what really happened was akihiko was sobbing and kinda just swinging haphazardly everywhere and landed some hits on shinji but not enough to#really fuck him up and it ends with him giving up and laying on top of shinji crying#shinji kinda awkwardly embraces him cuz what else can he do when he still cant feel anything but hates to see his friend upset#so the actual incident wasnt very pretty or happy but they made it out alive and are working things out now#very bittersweet very angsty shinji is so goddamn emotionally repressed i mean they both are actually#also on a lighter note shinji was just like on the phone with his bf during his shift and aki is like wait are you slacking off#and shinji is like bitch you literally called me??? and who cares id like to see these bitches try and fire me 😤#hes behind the register in a stupid uniform while horrible music plays theres like one customer there#theyre making direct eye contact the entire phone call
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Psyche, she was meant to be weird this whole time (Patreon)
2018 “Cure” like: Lol you thought
It really is hard to translate her design to paper! Even just trying to get her body type down and decided on was tough - is she a bean? Not exactly, but she’s not hourglass either, or exactly chubby or round, but not just a rectangle?? I don’t know how to describe her, and that’s completely discounting her face. I do remember that she’s both very short (a little bigger than your average teddy bear but not by much, so around 2′6″?? Maybe??) but also rather wide so her proportions are all weird
The original look at her wide eyelash concept - still not sure :0 I imagine they’d be brightly coloured as well, probably hot pink or maybe a gradient of colours. She’s definitely meant to have some elements of eyestrain in her design
#Doodles#Original#Vaguely offputting if you prefer#It really is mostly the eyes#There's still not just one eye design I can settle on and be like ''Yup that's completely accurate''#I think it's just another one of those things that's gonna have to be ever-changing#At least that'd make her easy to draw in one sense haha - there's no real way to be completely accurate#So that means plenty of things are all equally inaccurate and valid lol#She'd probably have obnoxiously layered sparkles and shine-shapes and colours - Blingee sparkles as a base haha#Anyway - she does /actually/ have some trueisms of her designs:#Cure isn't her real name - 'cause she doesn't have one lol - and she's regularly very smiley and non-blushy#Which is a real shame for me 'cause y'all know how much I love drawing blush marks but she just doesn't!#She's meant to be just a little off-kilter - not in a danger way just a little freaky lol#Her character feels hard to describe lol - it's like agreed-upon antagonism? She's playing the villain and loving it#But she's also only playing the villain as much as anyone playing against her wants her to - she's only as strong an opponent as desired#So in a literal sense she's unbeatable but she only wants to play lol - once it's no longer fun she turns it off and steps back#She still likes being off-putting in a harmless way but her goal is never to hurt just to toy - I mean she literally is one lol#So yeah she's a weird one#Maybe someday I can put exactly what's been in my head all this time down to reality haha - doubt it! But I can keep trying :)
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