#cause SPOILERS!!!!! DEBT OR ALIVE SPOILERS!!!!!!!

[krotiation]

I'm too lazy to clean this up but I wuv them

[acourtofquestions]

Kingdom of Ash Chapter 55-56

Chapter; Highlights, Notes, Tags, etc.

The Thirteen were on edge. They hadn't yet decided where to go. And hadn't been invited to travel with the Crochans to any of their home-hearths. Even Glennis's.

None of them, however, had looked his way when they'd prowled past. None had recognized him.

Dorian had just completed another walking circuit in his little training area when Manon stalked by, silver hair flowing. He paused, no more than a wary Crochan sentinel, and watched her storm through snow and mud as if she were a blade through the world.

Manon had nearly passed his training area when she went rigid.

Slowly, she turned, nostrils flaring.

Those golden eyes swept over him, swift and cutting. Her brows twitched toward each other. Dorian only gave her a lazy grin in return.

Then she prowled toward him.

Another assessing stare. "I would have thought you'd pick a prettier form."

He frowned down at himself. "I think she's pretty enough."

Manon's mouth tightened. "I suppose this means you're about to go to Morath."

"Did I say anything of the sort?" He didn't bother sounding pleasant.

Manon took a step toward him, her teeth flashing. In this body, he stood shorter than her. He hated the thrill that shot through his blood as she leaned down to growl at him. "We have enough to deal with today, princeling."

"Do l look as if I'm standing in your way?" She opened her mouth, then shut it.

Dorian let out a low laugh and made to turn away. An iron-tipped hand gripped his arm.

Strange, for that hand to feel large on his body. Large, and not the slender, deadly thing he'd become accustomed to.

Her golden eyes blazed. "If you want a softhearted woman who will weep over hard choices and ultimately balk from them, then you're in the wrong bed."

"I'm not in anyone's bed right now." He hadn't gone to her tent any of these nights. Not since that conversation in Eyllwe.

She took the retort without so much as a flinch. "Your opinion doesn't matter to me."

"Then why are you standing here?"

Again, she opened and closed her mouth. Then snarled, "Change out of that form." Dorian smiled again. "Don't you have better things to do right now, Your Majesty?" He honestly thought she might unsheathe those iron teeth and rip out his throat.

Half of him wanted her to try. He even went so far as to run one of those phantom hands along her jaw.

"You think I don't know why you don't want me to go to Morath?"

"Tell me to stay," he said, and the words had no warmth, no kindness. "Tell me to stay with you, if that's what you want." His invisible fingers grew talons and scraped over her skin. Manon's throat bobbed. "But you won't say that, will you, Manon?" Her breathing turned jagged. He continued to stroke her neck, her jaw, her throat, caressing skin he'd tasted over and over. "Do you know why?"

"Because while you might be older, might be deadly in a thousand different ways, deep down, you're afraid. You don't know how to ask me to stay, because you're afraid of admitting to yourself that you want it. You're afraid. Of yourself more than anyone else in the world. You're afraid." For several heartbeats, she just stared at him.

Then she snarled, "You don't know what you're talking about," and stalked away.

His low laugh ripped after her. Her spine stiffened. But Manon did not turn back.

Afraid. Of admitting that she felt any sort of attachment.

It was preposterous.

And it was, perhaps, true.

But it was not her problem. Not right now.

Manon stormed through the readying camp where tents were being taken down and folded, hearths being packed. The Thirteen were with the wyverns, supplies stowed in saddlebags.

Some of the Crochans had frowned her way. Not with anger, but something like disappointment.

Discontent. As if they thought parting ways was a poor idea.

Manon refrained from saying she agreed.

Even if the Thirteen followed, the Crochans would find a way to lose them. Use their power to bind the wyverns long enough to disappear.

And she would not lower herself, lower the Thirteen, to become dogs chasing after their masters. They might be desperate for aid, might have promised it to their allies, but she would not debase herself any further.

Manon halted at Glennis's camp, the only hearth with a fire still burning. A fire that would always remain kindled.

A reminder of the promise she'd made to honor the Queen of Terrasen. A single, solitary flame against the cold.

Manon rubbed at her face as she slumped onto one of the rocks lining the hearth. A hand rested on her shoulder, warm and slight. She didn't bother to slap it away.

Glennis said, "We're departing in a few minutes. I thought l'd say good-bye."

Manon peered up at the ancient witch. "Fly well." It was really all there was left to say.

Manon's failure was not due to Glennis, not due to anyone but herself, she supposed.

You're afraid.

It was true. She had tried, but not really tried to win the Crochans. To let them see any part of her that meant something. To let them see what it had done to her, to learn she had a sister and that she had killed her. She didn't know how, and had never bothered to learn.

You're afraid.

Yes, she was. Of everything.

Glennis lowered her hand from Manon's shoulder.

"May your path carry you safely through war and back home at last."

She didn't feel like telling the crone there was no home for her, or the Thirteen.

Glennis turned her face toward the sky, sighing once. Then her white brows narrowed. Her nostrils flared. Manon leapt to her feet.

"Run," Glennis breathed. "Run now."

Manon drew Wind-Cleaver and did no such thing. "What is it?"

"They're here." How Glennis had scented them on the wind, Manon didn't care.

Not as three wyverns broke from the clouds, spearing for their camp.

She knew those wyverns, almost as well as she knew the three riders who sent the Crochans into a frenzy of motion.

The Matrons of the Ironteeth Witch-Clans had found them. And come to finish what Manon had started that day in Morath.

The three High Witches had come alone.

Rushing steps crunched through the icy snow, halting at Manon's side just as Dorian's scent wrapped around her. "Is that—"

"Yes," she said quietly, heart thundering as the Matrons dismounted and did not raise their hands in request for parley. No, they only stalked closer to the hearth, to the precious flame still burning. "Don't engage," Manon warned him and the others, and strode to meet them.

It was not the king's battle, no matter what power dwelled in his veins.

Glennis was already armed, an ancient sword in her withered hands. The woman was as old as the Yellowlegs Matron, yet she stood tall, facing the three High Witches.

Cresseida Blueblood spoke first, her eyes as cold as the iron-spiked crown digging into her freckled brow. "It has been an age, Glennis." But Glennis's stare, Manon realized, was not on the Blueblood Matron. Or even on Manon's own grandmother, her black robes billowing as she sneered at Manon.

It was on the Yellowlegs Matron, hunched and hateful between them. On the crown of stars atop the crone's thinned white hair.

Glennis's sword shook slightly. And just as Manon realized what the Matron had worn here,

Bronwen appeared at Glennis's side and breathed, "Rhiannon's crown."

Worn by the Yellowlegs Matron to mock these witches. To spit on them.

A dull roaring began in Manon's ears.

"What company you keep these days, granddaughter," said Manon's grandmother, her silver-streaked dark hair braided back from her face. A sign enough of their intentions, if her grandmother's hair was in that plait. Battle. Annihilation.

The weight of the three High Witches' attention pressed upon her. The Crochans gathered behind her shifted as they waited for her response.

Yet it was Glennis who snarled, in a voice Manon had not yet heard, "What is it that you want?"

Manon's grandmother smiled, revealing rust-flecked iron teeth. The true sign of her age. "You made a grave error, Manon Kin-Slayer, when you sought to turn our forces against us. When you sowed such lies amongst our sentinels regarding our plans— my plans."

Manon kept her chin high. "I spoke only truth. And it must have frightened you enough that you gathered these two to hunt me down and prove your innocence in scheming against them."

The other two Matrons didn't so much as blink. Her grandmother's claws had to have sunk deep, then. Or they simply did not care.

"We came," Cresseida seethed, the opposite in so many ways of the daughter who had given Manon the chance to speak, "to at last rid us of a thorn in our sides."

Had Petrah been punished for letting Manon walk out of the Omega alive? Did the Blueblood Heir still breathe? Cresseida had once screamed in a mother's terror and pain when Petrah had nearly plunged to her death.

Did that love, so foreign and strange, still hold true? Or had duty and ancient hatred won out?

The thought was enough to steel Manon's spine. "You came because we pose a threat."

Because of the threat you pose to that monster you call grandmother.

"You came," Manon went on, Wind-Cleaver rising a fraction, "because you are afraid."

Manon took a step beyond Glennis, her sword lifting farther.

"You came," Manon said, "because you have no true power beyond what we give you.

And you are scared to death that we're about to take it away." Manon flipped Wind-Cleaver in her hand, angling the sword downward, and drew a line in the snow between them. "You came alone for that fear. That others might see what we are capable of. The truth that you have always sought to hide."

Her grandmother tutted. "Listen to you. Sounding just like a Crochan with that preachy nonsense."

Manon ignored her. Ignored her and pointed Wind-Cleaver directly at the Yellowlegs Matron as she snarled, "That is not your crown."

Something like hesitation rippled over Cresseida Blueblood's face. But the Yellowlegs Matron beckoned to Manon with iron nails so long they curved downward. "Then come and fetch it from me, traitor."

Manon stepped beyond the line she'd drawn in the snow.

No one spoke behind her. She wondered if any of them were breathing.

She had not won against her grandmother. Had barely survived, and only thanks to luck. That fight, she had been ready to meet her end. To say farewell.

Manon angled Wind-Cleaver upward, her heart a steady, raging beat.

She would not greet the Darkness's embrace today. But they would.

"This seems familiar," her grandmother drawled, legs shifting into attacking position.

The other two Matrons did the same. "The last Crochan Queen. Holding the line against us." Manon cracked her jaw, and iron teeth descended. A flex of her fingers had her iron nails unsheathing. "Not just a Crochan Queen this time."

There was doubt in Cresseida's blue eyes.

As if she'd realized what the other two Matrons had not.

There—it was there that Manon would strike first. The one who now wondered if they had somehow made a grave mistake in coming here.

A mistake that would cost them what they had come to protect.

A mistake that would cost them this war.

And their lives.

For Cresseida saw the steadiness of Manon's breathing. Saw the clear conviction in her eyes. Saw the lack of fear in her heart as Manon advanced another step.

Manon smiled at the Blueblood Matron as if to say yes.

"You did not kill me then," Manon said to her grandmother. "I do not think you will be able to now."

"We'll see about that," her grandmother hissed, and charged.

Manon was ready.

An upward swing of Wind-Cleaver met her grandmother's first two blows, and Manon ducked the third. Turning right into the onslaught of the Yellowlegs Matron, who swept up with unnatural speed, feet almost flying over the snow, and slashed for Manon's exposed back.

Manon deflected the crone's assault, sending the witch darting back. Just as Cresseida launched herself at Manon. Cresseida was not a trained fighter. Not as the Blackbeak and Yellowlegs Matrons were. Too many years spent reading entrails and scanning the stars for the answers to the Three-Faced Goddess's riddles.

A duck to the left had Manon easily evading the sweep of Cresseida's nails, and a countermove had Manon driving her elbow into the Blueblood Matron's nose.

Cresseida stumbled. The Yellowlegs Matron and her grandmother attacked again. So fast. Their three assaults had happened in the span of a few blinks. Manon kept her feet under her. Saw where one Matron moved and the other left a dangerous gap exposed.

She was not a broken-spirited Wing Leader unsure of her place in the world.

She was not ashamed of the truth before her.

She was not afraid.

Manon's grandmother led the attack, her maneuvers the deadliest. It was from her that the first slice of pain appeared. A rip of iron nails through Manon's shoulder. But Manon swung her sword, again and again, iron on steel ringing out across the icy peaks.

No, she was not afraid at all.

Around him, the Crochans thrummed with fear and dread. Either for the fight unfolding or the three Matrons who had found them.

But Glennis did not tremble. At her side Bronwen hummed with the energy of one eager to leap into the fight.

Manon and the High Witches sprang apart, breathing heavily. Blue blood leaked down Manon's shoulder, and small slices peppered the three Matrons.

Manon still remained on the far side of the line she'd drawn. Still held it.

The dark-haired witch in voluminous black robes spat blue blood onto the snow. Manon's grandmother. "Pathetic. As pathetic as your mother." A sneer toward Glennis. "And your father."

The snarl that ripped from Manon's throat rang across the mountains themselves.

Her grandmother let out a crow's caw of a laugh. "Is that all you can do, then? Snarl like a dog and swing your sword like some human filth? We will wear you down eventually. Better to kneel now and die with some honor intact." Manon only flung out an iron-tipped hand behind her, fingers splaying in demand as her eyes remained fixed on the Matrons.

Dorian reached for Damaris, but Bronwen moved first.

The Crochan tossed her sword, steel flashing over snow and sun.

Manon's fingers closed on the hilt, the blade singing as she whipped it around to face the High Witches again. "Rhiannon Crochan held the gates for three days and three nights, and she did not kneel before you, even at the end." A slash of a smile. "I think I shall do the same." Dorian could have sworn the sacred flame burning to their left flared brighter. Could have sworn Glennis sucked in a breath. That every Crochan watching did the same.

Manon's knees bent, swords rising. "Let us finish what was started then, too." She attacked, blades flashing.

Her grandmother conceded step after step, the other two Matrons failing to break past her defenses.

Gone was the witch who had slept and wished for death. Gone was the witch who had raged at the truth that had torn her to shreds.

And in her place, fighting as if she were the very wind, unfaltering against the Matrons, stood someone Dorian had not yet met.

Stood a queen of two peoples.

Yielding only those few steps, and nothing more.

Because Manon with conviction in her heart, with utter fearlessness in her eyes, was wholly unstoppable.

The other two witches had fallen back, as if waiting to see what might happen.

But she yielded no further ground. A wall against which the Yellowlegs Matron could not advance. The crone let out a snarl, attacking again and again, senseless and raging.

Dorian saw the trap the moment it happened.

No one seemed to breathe at all as Manon plunged Bronwen's sword into the icy earth beneath and bent to take the crown of stars from the Yellowlegs witch's fallen head.

He had never seen a crown like it.

A living, glowing thing that glittered in her hand. As if nine stars had been plucked from the heavens and set to shine along the simple silver band.

The crown's light danced over Manon's face as she lifted it above her head and set it upon her unbound white hair.

Even the mountain wind stopped.

Yet a phantom breeze shifted the strands of Manon's hair as the crown glowed bright, the white stars shining with cores of cobalt and ruby and amethyst.

As if it had been asleep for a long, long time. And now awoke.

That phantom wind pulled Manon's hair to the side, silver strands brushing across her face.

And beside him, around him, the Thirteen touched two fingers to their brow in deference.

In allegiance to the queen who stared down the two remaining High Witches.

The Crochan Queen, crowned anew.

The sacred fire leaped and danced, as if in joyous welcome.

"Go."

The Blueblood witch blinked, eyes wide with what could only be fear and dread.

Manon jerked her chin toward the wyvern waiting behind the witch. "Tell your daughter all debts between us are paid. And she may decide what to do with you. Take that other wyvern out of here."

Spared by the Crochan Queen on behalf of the daughter who had given Manon the gift of speaking to the Ironteeth.

Within seconds, the Blueblood Matron was in the skies, the Yellowlegs witch's wyvern soaring beside her.

Leaving Manon's grandmother alone.

Leaving Manon with swords raised and a crown of stars glowing upon her brow.

Manon was glowing, as if the stars atop her head pulsed through her body. A wondrous and mighty beauty, like no other in the world. Like no one had ever been, or would be again.

And slowly, as if savoring each step, Manon stalked toward her grandmother.

Warm, dancing light flowed through her, as unfaltering as what had poured into her heart these past few bloody minutes.

She did not balk. Did not fear.

The crown's weight was slight, like it had been crafted of moonlight. Yet its joyous strength was a song, undimming before the sole High Witch left standing.

So Manon kept walking.

She left Bronwen's sword a few feet away.

Left Wind-Cleaver several feet past that.

Iron nails out, teeth ready, Manon paused barely five steps from her grandmother.

A hateful, wasted scrap of existence. That's what her grandmother was.

She had never realized how much shorter the Matron stood. How narrow her shoulders were, or how the years of rage and hate had withered her.

Manon's smile grew. And she could have sworn she felt two people standing at her shoulder.

She knew no one would be there if she looked. Knew no one else could see them, sense them, standing with her. Standing with their daughter against the witch who had destroyed them.

Her grandmother spat on the ground, baring her rusted teeth.

This death, though ...

It was not her death to claim.

It did not belong to the parents whose spirits lingered at her side, who might have been there all along, leading her toward this. Who had not left her, even with death separating them.

No, it did not belong to them, either.

She looked behind her. Toward the Second waiting beside Dorian.

Tears slid down Asterin's face. Of pride- pride and relief.

Manon beckoned to Asterin with an iron- tipped hand.

Manon raised a hand. "Let her go."

When there was no trace of the Matrons left but blue blood and a headless corpse staining the snow, Manon turned toward the Crochans.

Their eyes were wide, but they made no move.

The Thirteen remained where they were, Dorian with them.

Manon scooped up both swords, sheathing Wind-Cleaver across her back, and stalked toward where Glennis and Bronwen stood, monitoring her every breath.

Wordlessly, Manon handed Bronwen her sword, nodding in thanks.

Then she removed the crown of stars and extended it toward Glennis. "This belongs to you," she said, her voice low.

The Crochans murmured, shifting.

Glennis took the crown, and the stars dimmed. A small smile graced the crone's face.

"No," she said, "it does not."

Manon didn't move as Glennis lifted the crown and set it again on Manon's head.

Then the ancient witch knelt in the snow.

"What was stolen has been restored; what was lost has come home again. I hail thee, Manon Crochan, Queen of Witches."

Manon stood fast against the tremor that threatened to buckle her legs.

Stood fast as the other Crochans, Bronwen with them, dropped to a knee. Dorian, standing amongst them, smiled, brighter and freer than she'd ever seen.

And then the Thirteen knelt, two fingers going to their brows as they bowed their heads, fierce pride lighting their faces.

"Queen of Witches," Crochan and Blackbeak declared as one voice.

As one people.

[angeltannis]

obsessed with Sasha deciding to dig up Gaige’s rotten moldy dad’s corpse to try to revive his decomposed remains with her Anahatium shard. Girl this is how you get The Walking Dead

[darkpetal16]

So we've got mafiafell wingding and papyrus headcanons, but what about mafiafell sans? Even a crumb would be very appreciated

Oh man. I put these HC undercut for 1.) T/W for toxic relationship and 2.) Spoilers for one of his bad endings in the game.

Mafiafell!Sans is a hot mess and puts the yan in yandere.

Ooooo boy. He’s a walking, talking red flag.

He’s a Judge: a monster born with the Judgment ability. His magic is toxic to anyone with EXP or LVL (including himself, although he has built up resistance) and he can see the truth of anyone’s SOUL.

His ability awakened at a young age in an unexpected outburst that resulted in the death of one of Asgore’s Royal Guards. By consequence, in order to avoid execution, he had to become the newest Judge.

He, essentially, became a glorified hitman for the Dreemur family at a young age, with the added bonus of each of his kills causing magic whiplash and damaging himself in the process.

He’s seen a lot of awful things, and done a lot worse things.

It. . . Doesn’t sit well with him.

He never wanted to take a life. He never wanted to hurt anyone.

But he had that choice taken away from him, and now he’s in too deep. The EXP, in conjunction with his Judgment ability, has warped him in a deeply disturbing way.

He’s volatile, violent, and viscous. And bitter. So, very, very bitter.

He’s got a short temper, but how he acts on it depends on the severity of his rage. For “smaller” issues, it’s an instantaneous reaction of violence. For the big issues, it’s something he’ll stew over and take his time to seek retribution. Basically: If he gets loud fast, the person will probably make it out alive. If he gets quiet though? They’re dead. And they’re not dying easily.

His volatility is a big reason why he always has Papyrus or Wingding nearby for important events.

This does mean that early in the relationship, when none of them know how well he can control himself around you, all of your dates will be secretly chaperoned by either Wings or Pap. You’ll likely never see them, but they’re there for your (physical) wellbeing and Sans’ (mental) wellbeing.

After a lifetime of absolute garbage thrown his way, you are a desperately needed breath of fresh air. He was drowning in misery and you’re the lifeline thrown to him. He will latch on with a zealous fervor.

Any bit of happiness and affection you give him, he’ll greedily devour. The more you give, the more he’ll come to need you until he literally will not tolerate you out of his life.

So do not commit, do not engage, do not give this man any type of hope for a relationship unless you’re ready for that level of emotional dependency. Breaking it off once it’s too late won’t end well for either of you. Because he’s type who can love a doll as much as the real deal.

But if that’s your thing too? If this is what you need too. . . ?

He’s your guy. Loyal. Ferociously loyal. Would fight an army for you. Would go to war for you. Would break any law for you. He supports your wrongs and your rights equally, as long as he gets to be by your side in the process.

He didn’t have money growing up (all money earned had to go into paying back his “debt” to the Dreemur family), so now that he has it he likes to spend it. Especially on loved ones (you & his brothers). Shopping trips are a bi weekly thing, and they always end in a fancy dinner date.

He wants to travel the world, and he’ll gleefully take you with him. He wants to visit a place that’s always dark, and someplace where the sun never sets. He wants to see the auroras, and an endless sea of sand.

He’s always wanted to go to school to learn. Always wanted to learn physics, mechanical engineering, and astronomy. Never could, and he thinks it’s too late now. He’ll always brush it off if you try to encourage him.

But if you take him to college lectures on the stuff, he’s like a kid in a candy shop. You’ll see a glimpse of what he was like before he became a Judge; a childlike level of sincere happiness, and a small smile on his face.

Dates are extravagant. He knows he’s fucked in the head so he’s hoping to keep your attention by impressing you. Maybe if you’re wowed enough you’ll forgive his cracks.

Speaking of cracks, he’s got the most broken bones in the family. Most of the time, Wings or Toriel can heal such injuries but ones caused by his Judge ability don’t heal.

If you ask about them he’ll give you increasingly crazier stories. Anything is better than the truth.

Speaking of stories, he loves to tell them and loves to listen. If you’d like to read, he would genuinely love it if you read him. It doesn’t matter the genre, he just enjoys them with a pure sincerity.

And if you want him to read to you? That’s fine by him. Although you’ll probably have to pick out the books… And forgive him when he stumbles on words. He didn’t have a proper education growing up. What he knows is what Wings has been able to teach him in their very limited free time. 

He can sing! Specifically lullabies, because that was the only thing that could sue Papyrus when he was a toddler. It’s not something he likes others to know, however, he’ll make the exception for you.

He can also cook. Very well. He learned along side Papyrus as something for the two of them to do together. He didn’t have a lot of free time and he didn’t want Papyrus to feel lonely, so he would learn how to cook with him. 

Very good at reading people. Even without his judge ability, he’s an expert at reading, micro expressions, understanding someone’s tone, and interpreting body language. His intuition is above reproach, even Asgore trusts it. 

He learned sign language when Wings lost his voice for a few months. Sans thought it would be come permanently so he stayed up late to learn it and be ready to teach it to Wings. Thankfully, Wings recovered so it’s been a rarely used skill.

Quality time is important to him. If you have something important in your life that you want him to attend, absolutely nothing will stop him from being there. 

Don’t try to get him jealous. Not only will your suitor be killed, but if he thinks you’re doing it on purpose, he won’t let it go. He won’t lay a hand on you. . . he doesn’t have to to discourage you from ever thinking about doing that again.

He’s a hot mess. There’s no getting around this. There is no therapy in his time, and the toxic masculinity expected of him will prevent him from ever admitting his emotional vulnerabilities in any way that matters.

He’ll be tender for you. He’ll be soft for you. He’ll be kinder around you. He won’t raise his voice. He won’t lay a hand on you. He’ll support your dreams, financially and emotionally. He’ll start with you if you want.

But that’s the extent of what he can do for now, and for a long times

And that’s the best he can do.

PLAY IF - MAFIAFELL HERE FOR HIS ROUTE

HC MASTERLIST HERE

[chiara-hotel]

𝐹𝒾𝓇𝓈𝓉 𝑀𝑒𝑒𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 + 𝒞𝑜𝓃𝒻𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈

Characters: Blade, Kafka, Aventurine, Jingliu & Jing Yuan

Warnings: Spoilers for Luofu Questline/Blade lore, Hcs are really short, Kafkas is a drabble

- You both most likely would have met when Blade was alive on the Luofu

- A friend of either Jingliu or (I forget the name but the dead one)

- Of course you knew his inner circle of friends and what had happened with them, causing one death, one reincarnation & 2 mara-struck (including him)

- Though, you did not see blade again until he came back while the Astral Express were visiting

- There, he formally invited you to join him among the Stellaron Hunters, aswell as introduce you to the other hunters

- When you asked him if his mara caused him trouble he said that Kafka helps him out often

- You confessed first

- Kafka was sick of your obvious like to eachother so she “encouraged” you to

- That, or you just yelled how much you loved him before running away before he could answer…

You and Kafka were childhood friends, met at around 5-7 years old. Both of your parents knew each other so you hung out quite often, and so you followed her through everything. When she joined the Stellaron Hunters you received an invite to join as well, if you didn’t Kafka would still keep you with her at all times.

She confessed first too - underneath a sakura tree. Prepared chocolate, flowers, plushies, anything to win you over.

- In the casino, of course

- Most likely you were a poor soul that the struck big losses within the IPC - debts stacking up too far to count

- Just as you got away, Aventurine happened to be your gambling partner, such a dear he is listing out everything while playing

- How he found you, your depts owed, everything

- But he bets something, if you win all of your debts are gone - if he wins, he takes you out for dinner before increasing your debt even more

- But alas, luck was on his side-he won but dropped the charges anyway for a simple peck on the cheek, with the dinner date too

- After that he paid your charges and tries to confess to you

- He would have asked you out as a gamble

- A lucky man he was - which the gamble ended up paying off

- You would know either of them from their Quintet group

- Following them around like a shadow, hiding your feelings for the sake of friendship

- You met them either as a fan of the quintet or as childhood friends

- In Jingliu’s case she most likely confessed right after she was mara struck

- In her eyes she loved you-she wanted to let you know before she lost complete control of the mara

- Even if you saw her as she return-who knows if she’d let you follow her now that the maras stricken?

- That or-you told her first way before she was mara stricken

- Although when she became struck with mara-she ended things…

- For Jing Yuan, he would confess sometime as hes the general

- After the events of the quintet disbanding, everything seems peaceful and Jing Yuan is finally ready to settle down

- After hours he stopped by your place, invited you to dinner and asked the question

- And to this day you’re by his side

- After he became general he hired you as an assistant, Jing Yuan insisted that the position was necessary but Fu Xuan, Yanqing and everyone else knew it was just because he wanted you

[sicksadgames]

Into the Blind, and Wot I Like about Space Stuff

I've been working on this for a while in between breaks updating As the Sun Forever Sets. Why is my idea of a break from writing games just writing a different game? I have dumb bitch disease. I wanted to talk about some of the inspirations for it.

Welcome to The Rim

Into the Blind is a sci fi game about a group of gig economy workers living contract to contract on the roiling, wild edge of space. It's about CRT screens, mechanical keyboards, junction boxes, pipes and wires. It's about the unknown, the stresses of capital, and horror - visceral and ephemeral. It's about working hard jobs in dangerous conditions for little pay, and the chance of a better life. 

You are a Freelancer - Salvager, Shipbreaker, Courier, Bodyguard, Assassin, First Responder, Negotiator, Investigator, Debt Collector. A Freelancer is any and all of these, depending on the contract. You'll take whatever you can get to make ends meet. 

Every job you do balances your need to pay the rent on your ship against your desire to remain alive. Grab what you can, get paid, and stay alive.

If this sounds cool to you, you can grab a free preview (with the old name) below.

Let me show you my favourite space things

Ok, time for the self indulgent ramblings.

(Potential) Spoilers for: Gravity, Interstellar, Contact, Arrival, The Expanse, the Alien series, the Thing, Annihilation, Homeworld: Cataclysm and Magnetic Rose.

Physics and Feelings at 10km/s

There are a lot of sci-fi horror TTRPGS out there. Like a lot a lot. Mothership, Death in Space, the Alien RPG, You're in Space and Everything's Fucked, the list goes on and on. Not that that matters - people should make the games they wanna make and I wanted to make a scary sci-fi game with spaceships, so eh fuck it.

Something I realised while writing stuff for Into the Blind and working on the system is that the themes and feeling of a lot of the sci-fi stuff I'm into didn't revolve around a towering monster skulking around dark spaceship. Like, sure, Into the Blind will have a nasty alien somewhere, I don't need to say that I like Alien or talk about why it's good (I do, it is, and I'm going to), but there's more to write about than monsters. Space is already intrinsically stressful and horrifying:

Neil Degrasse Tyson and Chris Hadfield can shut the fuck up, Gravity has some of the scariest, tensest scenes in a movie I've ever seen in my fucking life. After watching this you could never pay me enough to go to space. The only enemy here is inertia, the only monster are the principles of physics that cause a cloud of debris to whip through orbit at 22,000 miles an hour.

Aside from the spectacle, Gravity is a film about finding the will to go on when you have nothing to live for and everything's against you. It's heavily implied that Dr Stone went to space because she's tired of existing on earth (or at least that's my read). She wants mercy and relief from the pain of her life, and watching it you want to gift it to her so badly, but the debris field crashes into her life over and over. It's a relentless, uncaring solar tide that returns like clockwork when to fuck her up any time she gets a break.

These extreme forces also generate incredible tragedy and loss. Interstellar is kind of a dumb movie but despite the memes about this scene it always gets me. You don't know what you have until it's gone, and sometimes the distance between you knowing you've lost something and it becoming lost can (thanks to black holes and weird gravity stuff) slip by you in an age that feels like an instant.

Both Gravity and Interstellar have soft, beating hearts encased behind the layers of radiation shielding, technobabble and worn metal, and when the colossal forces that make the universe turn rip it open, they're laid bare.

That's a fucking cool thing to make a game about!

Indistinguishable from Magic

I'm not a big brain science person, when it comes to wormholes, relativity, folding space time and all that, I don't really get it. I just know that it's cool as hell and opens the door to powerful character stories about finding meaning and confronting your feelings at the edge of our understanding of reality.

Contact and Arrival are two sides of the same movie to me. Both are heavily grounded in big Theory and big Science Words, both are about powerful sciencey girlbosses who've lost something dear to them (one in the future, one in the past.) Contact leans more towards the hard science approach, but both are at their best when they're balanced on the edge of the plausible and the implausible. They're both about the incredible, incomprehensible nature of the universe. They're both about people who change the world, in ways both vast impercievable to everyone else.

They're both stories of hope and benevolence, but Contact frames this through 90's optimism and the power of nations working together towards a common goal (it's so optimistic, even the villain-coded megacorporation decides to help out, which uhhhh), Arrival frames these themes through personal tragedy - Dr Banks pays a high price to save humanity from itself.

Behind the calculations and clipboards and theories, these are stories about personal discovery, love and heartache.

These are also fucking cool things to make games about!

Magnetic Rose is probably the single biggest influence on Into the Blind - there's a full adventure heavily inspired by it in the preview. It's just so good. The visual design and animation are simultaneously grounded and real yet brilliantly beautiful and surreal. It's tragic gothic horror at the dark, gritty edge of space, and it's so good at being sad. The penultimate scenes in heart of the tomb-like space station, surrounded by rank brown water and decaying metal are heartwrenching. Heintz is tormented by visions of his past and you feel it so hard. The film doesn't care to tell you how this is all happening - are his memories ghosts? holograms? hallucinations? It only cares about the why, and it's incredible.

Breathable Air Prepayment Meters

It's been ages since I watched The Expanse, so I'm not gonna dwell on it too much, but what I remember focused heavily on how capital and government care little about those they govern and sell to.

The level that our existence is monetised and used as a cudgel against us currently can surely only expand along with our expansion into the stars. You can go there right now if you have enough money to do so, and when life beyond earth becomes feasible, the companies that financed it will need someone to clean the ducts and polish the solar arrays. The amount of things that can be sold to you can only increase out in space. You think rents are high now? Wait till you see the price of a 1 bedroom apartment in orbit around Mars. Add nice breathable mix of nitrogen and oxygen to your list of monthly outgoings. You think you'll be able to repair your C02 scrubbers without voiding the warranty? Fuck no.

The Alien movies are obviously (despite what some grognards on twitter dot com will tell you) deeply about extreme capitalism. The galaxy is ruled by companies that could not care less about you, and the bottom line is all that matters. This kinda matters less and less as the films wear on, but the first 3 are all about working class people sacrificed on the altar of the interstellar dollar.

Alien 3 in particular has a lot of problems, but the edgy teen in me is still really fond of this scene. It's doing a Big Foreshadow (Do you get it? The alien is like.. the flower he's talking about right? But the flower is bad?) But it feels like an appropriate lament for prisoners on the ass end of space. Despite what the company wants you to believe, the inmates of Fury 161 don't deserve to die, aren't expendable.

We all have flowers within us waiting to grow, out from the shadow of capital.

You might've noticed mentions of a nasty guy in those last clips.

Ok fine, also Monsters

We all love a little nasty guy, I cannot resist the pull of the weird monster that does Big Themes. Like I said, there's so much TTRPG stuff focused on them for good reason And space is ripe for the nastiest of guys.

There's really nothing more to be said about The Thing, it just fucking rules. It's a movie that cares as much about what a monster can do to peoples bodies as what it can do to their minds and relationships.

What a horrible fate for Sheppard. The idea of Annihilations mutant bear is just so sinister it makes my gut drop whenever I re-watch it. Again, not much else to be said about this movie. It rips.

Homeworld: Cataclysm is a weird game. It's a survival horror.. strategy game? Set in space? Where you never see a single person?? And somehow it's voice acting and plot is incredible???

The Beast is the nickname for the microorganism that emerges from the millenia old wreckage the mining vessel Kuun-Lan happens upon whilst scouring deep space for valuable minerals. The threat it presents is so real and visceral, it's one of those "if this hits our planet, it's so over" monsters, and it's obscenely scary and gruesome. Even the Bentusi, a race of nigh-on ageless benevolent machine beings are absolutely terrified, and try to abandon the galaxy in the face of it (they fear their biological minds will be trapped in their machine bodies if they're taken over by The Beast, locked in and forced to watch what it does to the galaxy. Damn.)

The scene where you and your fleet fight the Bentusi as they try to evacuate known space to force them to help you is intense and incredible. You're fighting gods, and all you can do is crash against their incredible technology again and again like a stiff breeze, pleading for help and humanity. You shame them into taking responsibility for helping the mortals in the galaxy against this ancient threat. That's the fear inspired by The Beast.

Thank you for coming to my Space Ted Talk

I told you it was self indulgent huh. Hopefully this goes some way to explaining what I'm going for with this game. Not only monsters, but the experiences of people trapped by incredible forces of nature, corporations and circumstance. Not only horror, but exploitation, sadness, love, longing and loss. Thanks for reading.

Again, if you want to check out Into the Blind, you can get the free preview below, and follow me on Itch to get notified for when game releases (soon? idk)

[childotkw]

I can't stop thinking about Luke surviving the dance (with or without dragon tbh) and basically taking over Driftmark since Corlys has gotten too old to rule it. He isn't legally Lord of Driftmark but everyone respects him and calls him as such. I'd imagine him either being a hostage for the greens for a bit before escaping them or surving the fall and finding his way around Stormlands, maybe some family in a small village takes him in for a month so that he can regain his strength. But then he is absolutely fucking furious and goes all sicko mode. He claims a dragon (could be any of them or maybe Arrax is alive) but he never really forgets how much of a problem Velaryon fleets and ships could be to the greens, so he takes after Corlys and leads the Velaryon troops into war and they win pretty much everytime. He maybe even basically (spoilers for fire and blood if you haven't read it) saves Jace in the Battle of The Gullet with Velaryon ships and his dragon. After the war no one ever dares to call him a Strong again, he is both a Velaryon and a Targaryen and he is proven himself as such. You can sneak in Lucemond into this somehow haha i just conpletely forgot about Aemond here. Maybe when Arrax dies Aemond basically thinks the debt as payed (an eye for a dragon, a dragon for an eye) and when Luke goes and claims another dragon Aemond cannot blame him for it, bc then he'd be a hypocrite. I'd honestly love an AU where Luke is captured and it's a whole story about how he goes through some shitty stuff but those only make him stronger in the end. (ig theres many plotlines in GoT that contains hostage situations too haha it just has the best potentials)

I love this and I'm gonna do a twist on it, if that's okay?

Lucerys survived, and when he came back to Dragonstone he refused to claim another dragon. He lost Arrax and the pain of that severed bond was too raw, too fresh, for him to contemplate replacing his friend. In the future, maybe, but right now? No. No, he couldn't bring himself to do that.

So, he embraced his Velaryon heritage instead.

The sea almost took him once after all, but it gave him back, and that marked him in some way. Being at the mercy of the vast ocean and allowed to survive - it changed a person.

He was more a tempest than fire now, but he's just as sharp, just as dangerous as any dragon that soared through the sky.

And Lucerys had always wanted to protect his family. It was the one thing that never failed to rouse his temper, and to defend their cause from the sea while his mother, father and siblings defended it from the sky? It was - not perfect, but as close as he could get.

He became known as the 'Sea Dragon'. His weakness for sea travel fell away to a confidence unmatched by any other, and Corlys would burst with pride at how his grandson grew to take command of Driftmark and the Velaryon fleet.

Lucerys sailed, and he fought, and he won more often than not. For all that he was young and untested, he was reckless and bold, and his ingenuity was one of his biggest strengths.

And his men loved him for it.

By the end of the war, no one who worked under his command would dare claim him unworthy of the title Lord of the Tides. Bastard or not, he carried the Velaryon name and lived up to the legacy.

(And if it were a kinder world, one where Aegon eventually decided that enough was enough and he was sick of being a pawn in his mother's games and his grandsire's ambitions, and he bent the knee to his sister? Well, Lucerys and Aemond would eventually reunite, and though he had known his nephew had survived their ill-fated fight above Shipbreaker Bay, Aemond still found himself breathless when he saw Lucerys again for the first time.

His nephew had grown in the past year, the last of his boyishness peeling away to reveal a defined jawline and strong features with the beginnings of stubble on his cheeks. Muscular and tanned from his days on board his ship, Arrax, and eyes that roiled, he looked -

Handsome, Aemond realised with a jolt.

But the thing that bothered him the most was that, for all the pain and anger that lurked between them, Lucerys didn't look at Aemond. Not during the negotiations. Not during the tense feasts that followed. Not even at his mother's coronation when they stood right across from each other. It was as if he had ceased to exist in his nephew's eyes, and that burned.

For Lucerys, his indifference was the last armour he had, because if he acknowledged his uncle, if he dared look at the man that had carved half of his soul from his chest and now seemed to live under his skin, then he'd do something he'd regret. Like kill him.

Or kiss him.

He wasn't going to tempt fate and see which side the coin landed on.

Too bad for him, Aemond refused to be ignored.)

[themoon-saturn]

The Great War

Xiao x Adepi gn reader

(angst/fluff cause I can’t do just angst for my well-being. TW: de@th but not super graphic, bl00d mentioned, Spoilers for Xiao’s backstory and the Chasm quest. Also Xiao’s other name)

an: Welcome back for another long one! I will do anything for this dude as I am a Xiao main and he was my first 5 star. This another midnights x genshin fic. Really these are more just me trying to get a very intense daydream down in writing so if you like this I really appreciate it! Was not proofread so probably will have grammar issues.

wc- 3.2k (oops)

✨more under the cut ✨

/Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur/

Xiao knew he was far from a saint. He has done things that would make any normal human lose their sanity, though he knows he is barely clinging to his. He watched as his brothers and sisters descended into madness and at this point, he was waiting for his turn. He was growing tired of the war in his mind, his body was sore from fighting demons and monsters for hundreds of years without break, and he could feel his karmic binds grow tighter as each day passed. He refuses to sleep because his dreams are plagued with the screams and cries of the souls he has taken, doomed to bare this burden for as long as he is alive. The more he sits with these thoughts, the more he is swallowed by the darkness. Another monster can be seen in the distance, snapping him back to reality. He has a job to do, he dawns his mask for another fight that he wins with ease, looking at the blood on his hands he feels his mind start to break. It hurts. It hurts so bad. He screamed as his karmic debt began eating him alive but just as fast as the pain came, it left. The sound of a flute was carried by the wind, soothing his mind and body. He fell to his knees, his mask disappearing from his face as the tears he had held back for so long poured out of his eyes. “Alatus? Archons what happened to you?!” He hears. Xiao turns to see you dropping your polearm to the ground and running to his side. He can feel himself growing dizzier by the second and reaches out in your direction before collapsing to the ground. “I- I heard your screams… I didn’t know what I was running into…” you stammered, guiding him to a seated position while you start examining his body for any injuries. You were another Adeptus like him, gifted with a Hydro vision and very skilled with a polearm even sparing with him from time to time. All other Adepti keep their distance from him but you… he doesn’t want to call you a friend but would gladly put his life on the line for you and knows you would do the same, much to his dismay. You were always there for him, ready to fight for him, tend to any wounds, and give him any support he needed. Any person could see how close you were and how Xiao’s face lit up when talking to you. Maybe you have something together that neither of you wants to work out right now but what you do have is a bond that can’t easily be broken. “I just need a moment…” Xiao replied, the dizziness catching up to him once again. “I’m taking you to my domain and will alert Morax,” you say throwing your arm around him to help him to his feet. He was far too mentally exhausted to protest. You teleport into your realm and start tending to his injuries as he lies on the ground in silence. “You don’t need to tell me what happened okay? Just rest for a moment.” You use your vision to heal his wounds and clean the blood from his clothes, “I can take care of myself you know?” He says trying to hide his embarrassment from you seeing him at his weakest. “There is the Conqueror of Demons I know… I’ll be back soon. Please stay here.” You say as you disappear to inform Morax of Xiao’s current state. He doesn’t understand why someone as bright as you could be so kind to someone as dirty as him. He knows from what you have told him your hands aren’t clean but you are better than he ever could be. He is a monster. People look at you with admiration and they look at him in fear. He closes his eyes in an attempt to rest his tired body and even the soothing sound of a flute can be heard here. He will try to understand what transpired today later but for now, he will treasure this small bit of peace… even if he doesn’t deserve it. 

/I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone/

Times of peace had come and you could finally rest. You watched as some children lit incense in honor of Morax and the Adepti who had fought in the Archon war. You smiled to yourself trying to push those memories far into your mind, you really do enjoy being around humans while the yaksha chose to stay out of sight. You couldn’t help but think of how much he’s suffering alone, clinging to the past. You turned to walk away from the shrines and teleported to the roof of Wangshu Inn, hoping that he would be there. “Conqueror of Demons? My dearest Alatus?” you sing out in a sickeningly sweet voice. “I told you to call me Xiao..” He appeared with his arms crossed over his chest. “Yes but Atatus rolls off the tongue better for me” you tease. “I have matters to attend to. What is it that you need?” Xiao asked in his normal sharp tone. “I can’t just visit you? My apologies then my dear yaksha.” you jokingly huff and cross your arms “I didn’t- uh I didn’t mean it like that I-“ Xiao starts before noticing the traveler walking on the balcony calling for him. “I’ll take my leave. I will see you soon don’t worry,” you say before disappearing. Xiao sighs rubbing his temples, even for a fellow Adeptus you are difficult to comprehend. Expecting the traveler to need his assistance, he was caught off guard when he was asked to go to the lantern rite, “I don’t like crowds and demons do not stop for a celebration.” He has his duty to fulfill regardless of the changes the nation has taken. He feels no need to watch the everyday lives of humans, he knows he doesn’t deserve something so peaceful. The sun was setting over the harbor as you watched from Mt. Tianheng as people gather to watch the lanterns take flight. Softly you call for him, “Alatus…” he arrived standing behind you, mask on, polearm in hand. “What do you need?” He is caught off guard when you extend your hand to him, “sit with me.” He takes your hand as his mask and weapon disappear from sight, “Why did you call me for this. We have seen the lanterns for years now.” He sits next to you and hopes you can’t hear how loud his heart is beating as the lights of the city cast a beautiful glow on your skin. “But have you truly watched them? They are beautiful!” you say looking to the sky. His golden eyes widen as he sees the lights fly into the sky, their glow shining so beautifully against the water. You sat in silence for a while slowly inching closer to him, touching his hand. “ Not everything in this life is bad Alatus. Shutting yourself off from the world isn’t good for you. We must trust that the people of Liyue can handle themselves and will ask if they need our help.” you say offering him a small smile,” I can tell you are enjoying this Alatus. You know you can’t hide anything from me.” You can’t help but be mesmerized by the way the lanterns have captured his attention. “I have to go,” he says quickly standing to his feet and disappearing in a teal smoke. You sigh, “One day… you will trust more freely and then you will see the beauty in this new time we are living in.” Xiao appears on the roof of the inn, his hand covering his blush. He had been alive for well over a thousand years and had seen horrors that no normal person could stomach and yet here you are… someone who has seen those same bloody scenes and can still find beauty in this world. He knows his karmic debt would taint that beautiful soul of yours and yet you continue to pull him closer. He doesn’t get it and yet why did he feel the ache of his debt weaken when you took his hand?

/It turned into something bigger. Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed/

Months passed as you tried to get closer to Xiao while he tried to maintain some distance. Regardless of if he liked it or not, the two of you worked well together. He couldn’t help but enjoy the time you spent with him and how mesmerizing you looked while you fought together. The way you two worked the battlefield like a dance floor, just like old times. After clearing out a Hilichurl camp together you were making your way back to the Inn, “You have been quieter than usual Conquer of Demons. Is something on your mind?” Xiao stops in his tracks, “ Why are you always so concerned for me y/n? I’m fine so why must you pester me?” He looks over his shoulder in your direction. Judging by your expression, he realizes he said it more sharply than intended. “Look… I learned some information on the disappearance of Bosacius and it's... just a lot to take in.” Your eyes widen, “Bosacius…” one of Xiao’s yaksha brothers who had gone missing during the Archon war… You couldn’t believe it. “Alatus what are you planning?” You can sense his hesitation to tell you, “Nothing you need to worry yourself with. This is my fight to fight alone.”, “But Alatus this could be dangerous… at least let me help and we can do this together! Just like we always do!” you reach out to hold his hand only for him to push you away, “This is a matter for a yaksha. I don’t need your help! You are just annoying me at this point. I don’t want or need you around me all the time.” You get a pang in your heart, “ I care for you Alatus and you know what I’m capable of. My hands are just as dirty as yours by now. I have seen the horrors as well and know how to hold my own. You don’t mean what you say…” Xiao doesn’t look at you for he knows he will break if he does. He hates the effect you have on him but knows the consequences of what might happen if you join him. “I have to go.” He disappears leaving you with tears in your eyes. Xiao doesn’t understand you at all. Of all the bloodshed you have seen him do… and you still want to be near him? You… care about him? That same feeling he got at the lantern rite comes back. This can’t be what humans call… ‘love’ could it? No. He doesn’t deserve that from you and yet why is that the only word that explains those feelings? “I’m sorry y/n..” Xiao looked to the moonlit sky, knowing that the last time he might see you… he left you in tears. Little did he know you were not going to give up on him after a single disagreement. You give him the space but after a few weeks of not even catching a glimpse of him, you go to Wangshu Inn and call out his name. “Alatus… Alatus? I’m sorry for being too protective but please talk to me.” You call out with no response. “Alatus? Come on you can't be ignoring me right now. Alatus?” You wait some more with still nothing. “Xiao? Xiao, please. Xiao?!” You start to panic. This isn’t like him to just not respond. Even if he shuts himself from the world, he will always respond to you. The sun began to set. You were holding back tears and trying to ignore the pit in your stomach. Something was wrong… incredibly wrong.

 /That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you/

Xiao could handle himself but something tells you he needs help and time was running out. You knew the one person who would know of his whereabouts was Zhongli, Morax himself. After consulting him you learn Xiao went to the Chasm to investigate the disappearance of Bosacius and even after Zhongli informed him of the dangers, he still left. “I assure you… The Conqueror of Demons will return safely.” Zhongli said placing a hand on your shoulder. You nod your head before disappearing. Once you arrive at the chasm you start calling for him again and still no response, all you could do is wait. “Alatus…? Xiao? Please come back to me…” You then saw a bright light coming from the chasm entrance. Your heart felt like it was going to jump out of your chest. He was back and safe… but when you saw the traveler and 4 others you didn’t know, you felt sick to your stomach all over again. You teleport to them, “Adeptus Y/n? What are you doing here?” the traveler asked. “Alat- I mean… Xiao… where is he?” You asked with tears brimming your eyes. No one wanted to look at you. “He- He sacrificed himself to get us out…” The traveler said looking to the ground. “No… you are mistaken. Alatus is the strongest person I know-“ you start before falling to your knees. Everyone looks at you in pity. After everything you have been through together… he’s gone just like that? You quietly whisper a prayer to the gods, “Xiao, please… Xiao come back to me…” Everything goes quiet and there is a golden light in front of you and once it dissipates, he is there. “Xiao…?” He is on his knees heavy breathing and looks up at you, “You said my name right this time…” You jump into his arms, catching him off guard. “You idiot! You absolute idiot!” You cried in his chest. “Come let’s give them space.” The traveler said ushering everyone away. “How did you-?” Xiao starts before seeing the silhouette of Zhongli watching over them before turning away. He had been saved by the Geo Archon himself… he didn’t believe he was worthy of that treatment. He was ready to die down there but judging by your face you were not going to let that happen. “I thought I lost you…” You sobbed clinging to him as if he were to disappear at any moment, “I really thought I lost you.” He cautiously wrapped his arms around you, he didn’t think someone could care for him this much. He began to cry as he tightened his grip on you. “I- I’m sorry.. for everything y/n. I didn’t want you to feel like this.” You look up at him and smile, “Archons Alatus... Just never do this again. I love you and we do things as a team.” You say without thinking. “You- You what?” he stammers, his face growing redder by the second. You realize what you had just admitted try and laugh off the embarrassment. Even Adepti can feel human emotions and this one is the only one that conveys how you feel about the man in front of you. “My apologies Alatus… I didn’t mean for now to- “ you start but are swiftly cut off by Xiao grabbing your face and kissing you. It was short and when he pulled away, his eyes were glued to the ground, “I have seen human couples do that all the time… I thought it was the right response.” You pecked his cheek and smiled, “It was my beloved yaksha… now I feel like I have kept you for long enough. It seems the traveler needs to speak with you. I will meet you at Wangshu Inn later.” You both stand to your feet but before you disappear you kiss him once more. He touched his lips trying to control his breathing and heartbeat. “I’ll see you soon…” he whispered in the wind before catching up to the traveler and friends who gave him very smug smiles once he arrived, “Shut it.” he snapped crossing his arms.

/I swear I will always be yours since we survived the great war/

The sunset of Liyue was still beautiful no matter how many times you have seen it, just something about how the sun hits the mountain tops just right makes the sight breathtaking. “Sorry to keep you waiting.” You hear behind you. “It was no trouble. I can watch this view for hours.” Xiao takes a seat next to you as you enjoy the views, sitting in comfortable silence for a while. “Y/n can I show you something?” He asks, extending his hand to you. You nod as he pulls you close to him, vanishing into the air. You appear overlooking the memorial site for Pervases, a place you have been before with Xiao but this time feels different. “You have met them many times in the past. But I wasn’t sure if you truly understood the torment that raged in our minds and souls doing what we did.” Xiao states, his grip on your hand tightening. “The war affected us all in ways that we can’t explain. We honor the memory of the fallen and look toward the future… We survived and the legacy of those who’s lives were lost shall live on in us. You and your fellow yakshas are heroes to this nation.” You say looking at Xiao. “Heroes huh? I… like that word. You know… my karmic debt is something I struggle with every day but when I’m with you… it’s easier to manage. I didn’t want to taint your soul with a burden I must carry.” He looks into your eyes. He was just trying to protect you… “Xiao you know that people with visions can withstand your karmic debt to an extent and not to mention I am an Adeptus. I can assure you I plan on sticking by your side.” You kiss him on the cheek and watch as his face grows red again. He bends down to pick a qingxin flower, “I just didn’t want to ruin something so beautiful.” he says placing it behind your ear. Now it was your turn to grow red, “Conquerer of Demons when did you turn into a romantic?” you laugh and see that he is smiling. A genuine smile just for you. “I swear to you Xiao I will always be yours.” He lifts your chin, just inches away from his face, “I swear to you as well. I am yours. Let me be by your side till the end of time.” You smile, “What a wonderful way to spend our eternity.” He leans in and you share another kiss. A longer, sweeter one. The pain and hell you both have endured doesn’t matter anymore. You will fight together, win together, take care of each other, and be there to reach out when the other falters. Once you pulled away from each other you take a few steps forward, the moonlight making you look ethereal. You turn to him, extending your hand and he reaches to you. He will always reach for you. 

[tdciago]

Fargo: Operation Eagle's Nest

Theory in collaboration with @thefutureiswhat. SPOILERS ahead. We're down to the wire, so let's talk about this fictional Ronald Reagan movie, introduced in season 2. Young Molly Solverson watches it on TV; Peggy watches it in the cabin; and Ronald Reagan talks about it to Lou. A French couple, Marie and Pierre, hide from a Nazi in a basement. The Nazi starts a fire to smoke them out. Pierre is going to act as a shield for Marie, but Reagan's character arrives to save the day, shooting the Nazi and apparently killing him.

PIERRE: If we stay here, we burn in our own little hell. As Reagan and the couple escape, the Nazi wakes up and follows them. We are left to wonder about the outcome. Even Reagan himself doesn't recall. "I remember back in '42, America just joined the war. I was working on, uh... 'Operation Eagle's Nest' for Paramount. I got dropped behind enemy lines trying to rescue Jimmy Whitmore and Laraine Day from this SS commando. Bob Stack was on loan from Selznick. That Nazi bastard had us cornered. We were done for, but in the end, with a little American ingenuity, we managed to, uh...Oh, no. No, no, wait a minute. Um... Come to think of it, I don't think we made it out of that one. Or did we? Oh, shit, I can't remember. Well, either way, it was a fine picture." In season 5, as Wayne enters his home after Dot has been kidnapped, we hear on the TV that "Operation Eagle's Nest" will be starting. In "The Tender Trap," Vivian Dugger and his pals leave the strip club talking about France. "You're gonna get in trouble, man. Then move to France. The French, buddy? No. You're, like... The French would like me better than you." Later in the episode, Lorraine mentions Vivian's son starting at Notre Dame, which is French for "Our Lady." Does the uncertain outcome of "Operation Eagle's Nest" foreshadow a similar scenario in "Bisquik"? Will we see Roy apparently killed, only to have him appear alive in prison? Will Reagan's uncertainty about the ending of the film parallel our uncertainty about the ending of season 5, calling into question "the true truth"? We've had references to "Rashomon" in "Linda," and to the short story "The Lady, or the Tiger?" In episode 5.5. Both have ambiguous endings. We've also had Nazi references, with Odin questioning whether Roy is Hitler at the Reichstag or Hitler in the bunker, where he committed suicide. Erwin Rommel, another Nazi mentioned this season, also committed suicide, and it was coerced. He was given a choice. Stand trial for being complicit in trying to kill Hitler, which would drag his family through the mud and end in certain conviction and death; or commit suicide, being hailed as a war hero and leaving his family untouched. He chose suicide. So I wonder if Lorraine will offer Roy a similar deal, writing a check to ensure that Roy's children will not be "futureless," if he agrees to eat Munch's sins, perhaps in the form of biscuits so laden with 500 years' worth of sins that they are toxic. And maybe, somehow, the story will be that Roy died a hero, a martyr to his right-wing cause. A Rommel deal. LORRAINE: You tuck your kids in at night, never telling them that they're-they're in the cage, too, because, when you die, your debts become theirs. "Though thou exalt thyself as the eagle, and though thou set thy nest among the stars, thence will I bring thee down..."

[logicaltips]

Nothing but fiction

Spoilers for Kamen Rider Geats below. Just some interesting thoughts on how concepts from there can fit into SAGAU

I always liked the idea that the true Creator is an absolute jerk going on a power trip and the Imposter (the reader insert) is a nice player who likes the characters for who they are.

If you want to take the Teyvat and its status as entertainment (from our POV) seriously, it's possible that all the bad things that happened in the story aren't because of the Creator being banished or losing to some dark force or whatever, but is all fabricated to make Teyvat feel more "alive."

Eula still being scorned by the public despite doing absolutely nothing wrong? The Creator literally whispers in the NPCs' ears to be mean to her.

Khaenri'ah? Nuked for "world-building."

As for the Yakshas, they discovered the Creator's treachery, but the Creator rewrote them from the ground up and developed the karmic debt system so that most of them died as NPCs before they could spread the truth. The whole Chasm quest was the Creator tying up some loose ends because of Bosacius. Meanwhile, the Creator gets Xiao out of the whole mess, lonely and burdened by karmic debt.

Perfect for giving him "character" and "suffering" so that Xiao's popularity would grow in the public eye.

Players get a cool character, Xiao becomes alone, and the Creator's rouse is maintained. Win-win!

I can see the Creator as being similar to Kekera from KR Geats; viewing their work as nothing but 0s, 1s, polygons, and sprite sheets to develop the "ultimate" story and character. After all, they're untouchable by any of the acolytes and any of their mistakes can be chalked up to "bad writing" from the public viewpoint.

As for the Imposter, they would be someone who loves the characters for who they are; unfiltered by outside influence and their respective strength in-game. They wish with all their heart that the characters' troubles would be solved, so when they wake up in Teyvat, they're super glad to have a chance to fix things.

Meanwhile, the Creator is freaking out since the Imposter is something they don't have trouble over. And they hate not being in control. So, they rewrite Teyvat once more to include a legend of an "Imposter," a being who mimics the appearance of the Creator and seeks to cause trouble. The Creator also adds that whoever brings the face of the Imposter before Celestia, where the Creator lives, will have their burdens cleansed.

After the Creator changes their face to fit the Imposter's and with a little bit of character writing to turn them into religious fanatics, the hunt begins.

The characters I can see being on the Imposter's side would be characters who have access to information banks that the Creator, in their ignorance, would have missed during their rewriting attempts. That would include Nahida, Mona, and whatever sort of academic/studious character who could easily have something on hand as a record of the previous version of the world, where the Imposter was never mentioned in a copy of the religious text.

Of course, those characters won't instantly be defending the Imposter, just not participating in the hunt. But a small fissure can become a large crack, and they soon conduct their own investigations as to the truth of the Imposter.

"This murderous intent, the despair on their face as they watch their favorite characters hunt them down~! This is the best story I've ever made!"

[krotiation]

Debt or alive spoilers!!

Rhys rambling about vaultlanders cause he got nervous... and Sasha actually listening to him... 😭 she's so sweet what the fuck

[jaihirvi]

My character for DnD. She's a Halfling Rogue. Her name is Jillian

And a little piece of Jillian’s biography: She was born in a tavern. She wasn't know her parents, but her father was very supportive and tried to raise all of her children to be good and honest people (spoiler, he wasn't very good at it due to the circumstances). There were five siblings and Jill was the oldest. Jill was raised by her father mostly when he came into sight. Her mother died, cause of death unknown. They lived poor, huddled in a room in a run-down neighborhood. Jill had an ordinary childhood and a couple of close friends. She fell in with a gang of scoundrels and loafers, from whom she learned everything. But they treated her unfairly, so she learned the skills of her enemies so she could fight them better. She worked at her profession: sometimes trimming purses and spying for those who paid more. After sorting out her debts, she went on an adventure in search of a better life. Worldview ended up being neutral-good, relationships tended to build friendly. Her father has been a laborer all his life, he is alive but struggling financially, so once a month Jill sends him 40sm. She now works as a mercenary for the Guild, studies magic, and has made quite a bit of progress.

[vierss-herondale]

😊! Why did Emma say that the Carstairs are indebted to the Herondales?

Hi! 🌻

I'm so sorry for taking so long, I forgot to answer! I've been busy with the holidays and everything 🫣

Well in CoHF Emma just said that she heard her father tell her mom that "the Carstairs owe the Herondales", but she didn't really know why. So I had to do a little research because I myself don't know either 😂

I thought that question was already answered on the books and I just didn't remembered but apparently Cassie said that it's going to be answered on TLH:

The Carstairs owe the Herondales (and the Herondales owe the Carstairs) because of the events of The Infernal Devices, and also the Last Hours – so you’re more likely to learn about why the Herondales and Carstairs owe each other from way back (beyond the manner in which they clearly already do in TID, as Will and Jem saved each other’s lives) in TLH than in TDA.

And so far we still don't know so it's likely we'll get the answer on the last book. But I'm being honest I don't think there's just one right answer but a bunch of events (like Cassie said, the events of TID and TLH)

There's a few theories out there that seem likely to me, so I'm gonna let them here:

Honestly I've been trying to get a solid reason for this myself for a while. But it doesnt seem to be specified exactly anywhere. I think its just general parabatai stuff: that Jem feels he owes his life to Will since Will helped give his short life some meaning as well as taking care of Tessa after Jem became a silent brother. Or that it may more specifically reference when Will left Jems death bed to save Tessa. But if it is just the general thing (and not that specific thing), while Will owes Jem as well, Will hasnt been alive 150 years to keep enforcing it to younger generations (like how Emma knows it). They may be even to us but people always feel they owe someone special to them, no matter how much they may have done in return. From here

The reason (what I think is) during the ending of the clockwork princess Will refuses the sword Cortana and tells Jem's uncle to give the sword to his own children. Thus the 'Carstairs owe the Herondales'. From here (I like this one a lot)

Actually, I think this is not because of Will and Jem. If you remember, John Carstairs says it to Emma, and it doesn’t make sense that 100 and some more years ahead, the reason is two parabatais that loved each other so much (all are supposed to). I think the real reason will be revealed in TLH: as we already know Jamie doesn’t marry Cordelia because he loves her, but because that wedding would somehow save the Carstairs. If you have read the first chapter of TLH (spoiler ahead) you know that Elias was accused of causing the deaths of a group of shadowhunters, so I think that “Carstairs owe Herondales” means that probably Jamie washed some kind of shame away from their name marrying Cordelia. That could be a more understandable reason I think... From here

I think it is because Will put his hand in fire for Jem. From here

This one is a THEORY: Now what this sounds like to me is that Sona dies having the upcoming Carstairs baby and Cordelia and James fricking adopt the child. Either I’m sleepy rn, or it seems pretty clear she’s implying that Jem made the tree and specifically hid the Carstairs records because of these reasons. (Heck, Sona isn’t even listed on the Tree- why replace her with a Colette Verlac?) At the end of The Dark Artifices, Jem and Tessa adopt Kit. Perhaps this is (besides them loving Kit with their whole hearts) the Carstairs’ way of thanking James and Cordelia for raising the mystery Carstairs baby that Sona is having as their own: by raising a parentless Herondale child out of love, in the same way that Jordelia perhaps eventually do for the Carstairs baby. A Carstairs child raised as a Herondale with love. And a Herondale child raised by the Carstairs with love. Tit for tat, the debt is paid in full. From here

I want to hear more theories, what you all think? 👀

[terrible-star-wars-crossovers]

Star Wars Kubo and the Two Strings AU: Luke is kubo (obviously) Padme is Monkey, and the Moon King is Vader. (And who you might ask is Beetle if Vader is the Moon King? Well, tis a clone of Anakin of course... let me explain)

It starts out pretty similar to the end of ROTS. Anakin falls and becomes Vader- though in this version he kills palpatine and becones emperor. The duel on mustafar happens, though Vader beats Obi-wan, but is still severely injured. Padme meanwhile flees mustafar and has the twins on Polis Masa. Padme lives, and while debating what to do next with Bail and Yoda, Polis Masa is attacked by Vader, who is determined to get his wife and child (he's unaware there are twins) back. During the chaos, Padme ends up escaping with Luke while Bail escapes with Leia.

Vader, of course, follows the ship with Padme on it and after a brief confrontation in which baby Luke looses his hand because of Vader, Padme gives up on him. SHe manages to Fake her and Lukes deaths by making vader think their ship blew up, when reality it slipped into hyperspace. They end up crashing on Tattooine and Padme injures her head.

12 years later, Luke and Padme are still on Tattoine in a small house in the wastes. Due to her head injury when they crashed, Padmes mind has slowly deteriorated and spends most of her days catatonic. So every day, Luke goes out to Mos Eisley and earns a living by doing repair work and telling stories of the hero without fear that his mother told him in her bouts of lucidity. Luke knows about and can use the force to some degree, though Padme tells him never to use his abilities, lest it attracts the attention of The Emperor and his Inquisitors. (In this Au, Luke knows Vader is his father, but he idolises the man he was- the man his mother fell in love with and can't help but wonder if anakin still exists deep down.)

One day, Inquisitors arrive on Tattooine and Luke being Luke, ends up revealing his identity and abilities while defending one of the locals, which causes vader to sense him a Galaxy away. Padme, in a bout of lucidity, manages to fend off said Inquisitors and the pair flee Tattoine. Padme then says they must find Master yoda in order to train luke, as that is the only way to protect him now emperor vader knows he is alive. They follow a trail of clues accriss the Galaxy, but it is slow going as Padme's bouts of lucidity only last a few hours and Luke is reluctant to search without her.

Eventually, the pair end up on Kamino, where they come across a man who claims to be a Jedi but doesn't remember much and can't use the force. One of the few things he does remember, however, is Anakin- who he claims to owe a life debt to and he vows to protect and serve Luke, as he is the son of Skywalker. Padme is skeptical, but Luke says that they need all the help they can get Besides both of them find there is something familar about the man.

The trio continue on in their quest accross the Galaxy, hunting for clues and digging Inquisitors. As they travel, the man -who decides to simply be known as Jedi, starts to bond with luke and teaches him how to use a lightsaber and his force abilities (Despite Jedi seemingly not having powers himself, he is knowledgeable in how to harness them and is pretty damn good with a lightsaber.) Padme also bonds with jedi and asks him to care for luke when she is gone and when it is all over, to help Luke find his sister.

As all of this is happening, Luke dreams about Anakin (spoiler, they aren't just dreams and it is Vader is pretending to be Anakin) who tells him Yoda is at the ruins of Polis Masa. The trio go, but end up being caught by the Inquisitors. They reveal Yoda has been dead for 12 years and their quest was in vain. They also reveal that Jedi to be a clone of Anakin (Early in his reign, Emperor Vader was desperate to find a way to make his body whole again and resorted to cloning. The experiments failed and the facilities were abandoned, leaving only one Clone (why Padme didn't reconize him? Rapid aging plus 10 years of isolation can wreck a man's appearance.) ) The trio manahe to beat the Inquisitors, though Padme and Jedi/Clone Anakin end up dying in the process.

Luke then leaves, determined to confront the Emperor, his father....

[henqiguai]

Slow Damage Review (Spoilers!)

I’ve let Slow Damage continuously sear off layers of my brain in the span of 2 weeks and now I have to make all my thoughts on the game everyone’s problem (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

Spoiler-Free Bare Essentials

Slow Damage is a BL visual novel developed by Nitro+CHiRAL, who are responsible for popular titles such as Dramatical Murder and Togainu no Chi. The year is 20-something-something. A massive recession in Japan has lead to the formation of the chaotic, yakuza-controlled city of Shinkoumi. You follow the protagonist Towa, an artist who gains inspiration by drawing out his muses’ deepest, darkest desires. As you proceed through the game, you dig deeper and deeper into the mysteries of Towa’s past and capture the hearts of his rogue gallery of men: an ossan, the “mom friend”, his problematic ex, and A Lawyer. 

If you haven’t played the game yet but are intrigued by anything I’ve just said, please play the game first because I don’t want to spoil you! Just make sure you heed the extensive list of trigger and content warnings because this game is not fucking around with the dark content and sensitive subjects it tackles. Otherwise, let’s get into it ヽ(　･∀･)ﾉ

!!Spoilers!!

Characters

Il

Towa is our main character. He’s an artist under the pseudonym “euphoria”, creating pieces after euphoric episodes in which he draws out his muses’ deepest desires. He usually has his muses enact their desires on him, so as you can imagine it’s often a painful and bloody process. 

Towa can also read people’s Smoke, which is a unique aura surrounding each person that fluctuates based on their emotions. Also if it was entirely up to him he would live exclusively off of alcohol and cigarettes. Thankfully he has Taku and Rei to keep their hot mess of a friend alive.

I absolutely adore Towa and he was hands down my favorite character in the whole game. I loved being in his head and understanding the unique way he views the world, the people around him, and his relationship with sex and violence. Towa doesn’t value his life highly, nor does he particularly want to die. He’s outwardly apathetic, although his friends know not to take it to heart most of the time. 

One line of dialogue that really stood out to me is in Taku’s route where he says something to the effect of “the way you go about sex is a form of punishment”. Towa enjoys masochistic sex, but he also uses sex and pain to feel dehumanized and to cope with his deep trauma. He isn’t used to being treated gently (nor does he initially want to be), which makes the scenes where he is being taken care of hit harder.

I will talk more about Towa as we get into each of the love interests.

Dr. Feel Good

Can you believe Rania gave us the Taku theme song over a decade ago.

Dr. Murase Takuma or Taku is an old man that was specifically designed to cater to ME, ossanlover69. He runs a clinic in Shinkoumi and keeps Towa gainfully employed despite the fact that Towa rarely shows up on time to work without him having to burst into his room banging pots and pans. Taku is one half of Team Keep Towa Breathing along with Rei, making sure his room is tidy and patching up his wounds after his intense euphoria sessions. Taku has been Towa’s doctor since he was young and has been taking care of him for years. Towa also uses Murase as his last name when he needs one. This is a fact that makes me want to walk right into the ocean.

In his route, you find out that Taku owes a significant debt to Toono, a high ranking member of the Takasato-gumi. Because of this, daddy is forced to make some bad drugs for Toono, which tears him up on the inside and causes Rei and Towa to be alarmed by his suspicious behavior. In the good end, Towa helps Taku decide not to finish making the drugs and Taku turns himself into the authorities. Towa becomes Taku’s malewife and picks up his convict hubby when he gets out of jail a year later. In the bad end, Taku goes full yandere and confines Towa in the bowels of his clinic. Bug hallucinations and (you guessed it) drugs are involved. Fun.

My Thoughts:

I quite enjoyed Taku within his own route! I love the dynamic of confident!Towa and inexperienced with men!Taku. We know who’s calling the shots in this relationship (spoiler alert it’s not Taku). The dialogue during their good end nsfw scene is some of my favorites from the game. Towa isn’t someone who can say “I love you” easily. I don’t believe he says it to any of his love interests despite receiving confessions. However, Towa thinking that the moment he saw Taku get shot was the point stopped taking Taku for granted hits harder than an “I love you” for me. Also Towa’s embarrassment at Taku’s careful attention to him was extremely cute. The mortifying new experience of being loved and cherished. 

OK, now for the bad. The further you get into the game, the more this man’s name gets dragged through the fucking mud. We find out that Taku has been keeping information about Towa’s past from him in order to shield Towa from having to face the deeply traumatic experiences of his childhood. In Madarame’s route, Madarame uses this to create an irreparable rift between Towa and Taku. In Fujieda’s route, Taku is actively trying to keep Towa from learning more by refusing to share information and even attempting to burn evidence.  

This information does sour his good ending a little, as we know there are skeletons that will likely stay in the closet forever while they’re together. In Fujieda’s route where Towa is trying to learn about his past, Taku’s actions become a lot harder to swallow. However, I do think Fujieda is the key to Towa being able to confront his past and begin the healing process. Seeing how Towa reacted to learning about what Maya did to him, I’m not sure if Taku (or Rei or Madarame), even with all his love and concern, would have been enough to stop Towa from hurting himself. Therefore, was it the right call for Taku not to say anything in his own route? Is it better for Towa to move forward with his life without having to drag up painful memories, especially without the right kind of support? I don’t know!!

I have to move on now this is getting way too long. So many people say they love pathetic dilfs but when Taku is a pathetic 40 something year old hot mess forced to commit crimes and is a big liar suddenly I’m the only one stepping up to bat for him?! Unbelievable.

Gong Yoo Sakaki shows up asks you if you wanna play a game of ddakji Moneymatch wyd

Izumi Rei is Taku and Towa’s friend who works part-time at Taku’s clinic. He’s also a bartender at Towa’s favorite bar Roost, and enjoys participating in Deathmatch fights. He is the other half of Team Keep Towa Breathing, making sure Towa is fed and has like a sip of water occasionally. He has a kind and outgoing personality.

In his route, Rei learns that his shitty deadbeat father has left him a hefty gambling debt to pay off. Because of this, Rei has to participate in Moneymatch fights, which are high risk (the loser is killed), high reward ($$$$$). Towa spends his time in this route trying to help Rei with his debt, and also with Rei’s struggles with his gender identity. In the good end, Rei settles the debt, decides to embrace his identity as a man, and whisks Towa away to travel together. In the bad end, Rei continues to fight Moneymatch fights while keeping Towa confined in his room (are we sensing a pattern here). There is some body modification and eye stuff involved. Fun.

My Thoughts:

I love Rei a lot! To be honest I like him more as a friend to Towa (and Taku), but I do think Rei’s route does a better job fleshing out Rei and Towa’s chemistry compared to Taku and Towa. Underneath layers of apathy, Towa displays little signs that he cares for Rei and pays close attention to him. For example, noticing that Rei bites his fingernails when he’s stressed, which tips him off that Rei is struggling with something. Rei is willing to lean into Towa’s desire for violence in a mutually agreed upon way. Like Rei enjoys the thrill of a fight and his wish was to fight Towa without holding back, which Towa likes (and it’s Rei in the heat of a fight which causes Towa to take notice of Rei in a non-platonic way for the first time). Also I loved confident power bottom!Towa with virgin!Rei. The “congrats on the sex” comment had me ROLLING. 

OK, now for the bad. I’m not sure I loved the way Rei’s gender dysphoria was handled, although I do think a sincere effort was made to tell Rei’s story. I thought the direction of his route would be for him to accept both his feminine and masculine sides, instead of only embracing his masculine side. Also in Fujieda’s route Rei mentions trying to reconnect with his shitty homophobic father which is just... no? why? Finally the haircut N+C decided Rei needed at the end should constitute as a jumpscare. Let him have long hair!!

Big Dick is Back in Town

Madarame Kei is Towa’s mysterious ex-fuckbuddy that used to be a part of the Takasato-gumi. He was thought to be dead after a traumatic fight that resulted in his “death” and the death of Towa’s half-brother/fellow yakuza member, and caused Towa to lose his eye. But now he and his magnum dong are back in town and ready to be your problematic fave. His route is unlocked after you finish Taku’s route, and the game teases you by repeatedly mentioning that a “ghost” has been beating the shit out of people in the Deathmatch areas. Hmm I wonder who it could possibly be?

In his route, we learn that Madarame has come back to destroy the Takasato-gumi. He’s also here for Towa. Instead of contacting him like a normal person, Madarame kidnaps Towa and chains him up in a dirty building (again, are we sensing a theme). After days of abuse, Madarame lets Towa go. But Towa soon realizes that his life is full of malaise, and only Madarame can give Towa what he really wants: the thrill of violence which makes him feel truly alive. And Madarame and him are very sexually compatible so there’s that. He then returns back to Madarame. In the good end, they take down the Takasato-gumi, cut ties with Taku and Rei forever, and go on fighting adventures together. In the bad end, Madarame becomes the new leader of Shinkoumi, with Towa as his loyal underling. Knife and bloodplay are involved. Fun.

My Thoughts:

As far as N+C bastard men go, I actually enjoyed this route a lot more than I expected! I think my feelings can be summarized as “it’s not personally for me, but I get it”.

Madarame represents a piece of Towa’s traumatic past. He isn’t here to help Towa heal from his traumatic experiences, rather, he simply wants to live with a version of Towa that still has fighting spirit in him. Madarame understands Towa’s physical needs in a way that Taku and Rei do not. By the end of the route, they’re able to establish a balance between violence and their definition of love. I think that after Towa returns to Madarame out of his own free will, their chemistry really shines, and I especially liked the scene where they were drinking sake together. Very spicy. 

Ok, now for the bad. Towa’s thought process in hating Madarame and hating himself for wanting Madarame makes a lot of sense. Towa deciding to return to the man who abused him after realizing he no longer fits into his old life as a result of Madarame’s actions/what Madarame wanted Towa to realize also makes a lot of sense. But. This game does such a good job at walking me through Towa’s thoughts as he’s being abused, it just hit too many raw nerves and made it hard for me to fully enjoy them as a couple (although like I said, they do find their own balance by the end of the route). Also I didn’t love that Towa completely severed ties with Taku and Rei before leaving with Madarame. After spending hours investing in this OT3 friendship and watching Towa achieve happy ends with both of them, it made me so :((((. Also... not the matching mullets.........

Despite all of this, any route that makes me chew on it as much as I did with Madarame is good, and I appreciated a change in dynamic compared to Taku and Rei.

Lawyer

Fujieda Ryo is a lawyer. He works for the Takasato-gumi. His route is unlockable after you have finished Taku, Rei, and Madarame’s routes, and the game teases his route by having him occasionally appear to do lawyerly tasks and duties. Titillating stuff.

In his route, someone has been sending Towa tokens of his past (pieces of a diary, a bunny toy, pictures of people and records of various injuries inflicted on Towa by them). Curious about his past for the first time in the game, Towa begins following the leads he is given. In doing so, he meets and begins to work with Fujieda, who is trying to find his “friend’s” little sister.

My Thoughts:

As someone who hates the idea of “true routes” (don’t tell me who the real love interest is I’ll be the judge of that), this game achieved the impossible by selling me entirely on Fujieda. Hands down this route is the best in terms of the plot and themes, and I far prefer Fujieda as a love interest for Towa above Taku, Rei, and Madarame.

When we’re first introduced to Fujieda, he appears to be stiff and serious. Towa comments on how Fujieda’s smoke is still and white, making him the first person Towa finds to be unreadable. Fujieda and Towa appear to be opposite in every respect, and it makes it hard for them to trust each other. But as you play along, you peel back layer after layer of Fujieda’s armor and learn how much Fujieda and Towa actually have in common.

It’s so interesting to me that when you play Madarame’s route, the idea that Madarame is the only one who can give Towa what he really needs comes up several times, but it’s actually Fujieda’s route that is titled “Equal”. Both Fujieda and Towa have suffered intense abuse by their parents. Fujieda hates the scars left on his body by his parents, but finds Towa’s scars a symbol of his bravery and resilience. Towa is fascinated by Fujieda’s scars and he’s the only one who he’s ever seen with a body like his. Towa sees his own scars as separate from his traumas as it’s his only way of maintaining his own autonomy after the horrific things that were done to him. Their conversation about their scars really highlights their understanding and acceptance of each other in a way no one else can.

Fujieda and Towa are also connected by Yuzuki Mei, who was Fujieda’s sister and Towa’s friend who was forced to “entertain customers” together with Towa by Maya (Towa’s abusive mother). After Towa learns this truth, he spirals out of control into probably his most self-destructive episode to date. The ensuing conversation with Fujieda who finds him and implores Towa to live on is so sad and so tender it made me cry. As I mentioned earlier in my discussion of Taku, Fujieda is the one person who can provide Towa with the support he needs to process his trauma. Their shared experiences, as well as Fujieda moving from distrust to begrudging partnership to pity to acceptance to finally wanting to actively support and care for Towa truly makes him the most balanced fit for Towa.

Switching gears to some less heavy thoughts, I just find Fujieda very cute like he presents himself as stiff and put together but he’s also a mess. The little detail of him being such a bad cook that even Towa could make a better meal is sooooo. Like Towa? I know this man has never touched a pot or pan in his life how could make better food than Fujieda? Fujieda must have been in the kitchen making this.  Also Fujieda being needlessly formal or roundabout when it comes to emotional things... like they’re having a heartfelt conversation and then he abruptly switches gears by stiffly asking for a sex performance review I died. Towa teasing him by saying it was bad and then Fujieda just goes ok I’ll make adjustments in the future like shut up read the room !! Oh and the end scene with them at the sea and Towa smiles so brightly T______T ;; The ultimate catharsis!!

OK, now for the bad. The only thing I disliked was the noncon scene. It was so incredibly baffling that Fujieda somehow didn’t realize that Towa was a victim along with his sister and not a perpetrator just because he was Maya’s son. In fact it was so ????? to me that at first I couldn’t figure out why Fujieda was even mad at Towa.

Others

Literally added this section just to say I am screaming at how my opinion on Sakaki went from “he’s in the yakuza and he does bad yakuza things but it seems like he genuinely cares for Towa” to “....... stairs? deserved”

Gameplay 

The gameplay is very different from Nitro+CHiRAL’s past works, and I quite enjoyed it! Instead of simply choosing dialogue options to advance the story in certain directions, you get a more active role by participating in Exploration and Interrogation segments. During Exploration, Towa goes to various places in Shinkoumi and interacts with different people in his life. Certain dialogue choices will lead to Inspiration, which can be used later in Interrogation. Basically, Interrogation is a therapy simulator where you choose positive or negative responses and use Inspiration and clues obtained during the route to draw out your target’s dark desires or true intentions. Your choices will eventually lead to euphoria (usually good ends) or madness (usually bad ends or to rile up the target enough to get them to talk).

If this sounds like a lot, you’re right. Nitro+CHiRAL said you better work if you want to see some dick. But honestly once I got a hang of it, I enjoyed doing the Interrogations and didn’t run into any significant difficulties achieving the euphoria and madness ends (except in Madarame’s final interrogation which took me way longer than I would like to admit like the absolute carnage left in my quick saves after I was done with this mf). I also think the Explorations helped flesh out the world as well as a lot of the side characters.

The only other gripe was that I didn’t realize you had to achieve the madness end with the vampire to get onto Fujieda’s route and I was replaying the common route for far too long before I had to cheat and find a guide, but this is probably me being a dumbass more than anything.

Art

This game is visually stunning! The colors, the few animations of Towa’s nightmares, and the attention to detail (e.g., screen glitches when someone says 大丈夫, adding cuts to the sprites when characters were injured etc.) all added to the experience. I think my favorite visuals come from the euphoric end of Ikuina’s Interrogation. The mixture of blood and flower petals and Towa’s expressions makes it beautiful and macabre. Also the food. Rei’s route made me so fucking hungry like @/myself it’s just honey toast please calm down.

I also found it kind of funny that Towa and the main four love interests have pretty down-to-earth designs while side characters like Mayu, Kotarou, and Eiji have such bold looks they look like they rolled in from a completely different game. Taku rocking up to the clinic all grizzled in his scrubs while Kotarou is shaking down debtors in his tight low hanging leather pants with his titties out. love that for them.

Music

Honestly when has a N+C game not delivered in the music department? My favorite tracks are the OP il by Anna Evans golden folks, HEAD CASE TATTOO by Goatbed (Rei’s bad end track), and Pearl Tower by Anna Evans golden folks (Fujieda’s bad end track). I also liked the bgm track Aruhi (and the fact that it’s a combination of the tracks Kouhuku and Maya). Finally, obsessed with the jaunty little tune that plays in early ends. The most cheerful “bye, loser!” I’ve ever experienced. 

My own personal and very subjective gripe is that there are no songs sung by Itou Kanako. She’s done pretty much all my favorites from past games like Tears and Immer Sie (DMMD), Stay (TnC), and Miracles May (SP). 

Voice Acting

Wanted a little section for some Hiiragi Santa (Mr. Ono Yuki...) lovemail. It takes a lot of talent to be able to convey a such wide range of emotions with Towa’s relatively taciturn dialogue. Also he perfectly captures Towa’s voice when he’s trying to seduce someone as well as his dry humor, which adds a lot of charm to Towa.

Rapid Fire Ranking

Ok so I finally have run out of things to say about this game (for now) so I wanted to drop some quick rankings of the routes as well as a comparison to other N+C games I’ve played (note: I have not played the medieval catboy game. I should).

Ranking the route plots/themes

Fujieda >>>> Madarame > Taku > Rei

Ranking the love interests based on how much I want Towa to be in a romantic relationship with them

Fujieda >>>> Taku > Rei > Madarame

Ranking N+C games by their plot/themes

Slow Damage > Sweet Pool > Togainu no Chi > Dramatical Murder

Ranking N+C protagonists

Towa > Akira > Aoba > Youji

Ranking N+C games by how much I enjoyed the love interests as a whole

Dramatical Murder (I’ll ship anyone with Aoba) > Slow Damage (Fujieda hard carrying) > Togainu no Chi (Rin my beloved)  > Sweet Pool (Tetsuo...)

Ranking N+C games by how hard I cried

Togainu no Chi (cried at the end of every route and every time I heard Still.mp3) > Sweet Pool (cried all through Tetsuo’s endings) > Slow Damage (one big cry during Fujieda’s route) > Dramatical Murder (one respectable grocery store vegetable aisle mist in the eyes at the end of Clear’s good end)

And that’s it !! Please scream with me about slow damage on twitter I live there

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Rei Mekaru (and why I love her)

So i responded to someone’s instagram story, which was a picture of SDRA2 Rei, saying “hear me out” and that’s where it started.

Spoilers for both games under the cut.

cw for me simping over rei, abandonment, and both games’ chapter 6 trials

Okay. Okay. Not only is rei hot as hell, BUT. She is also quite fun to hurt. You can take her childhood, and how she was abandoned, and write/draw her suffering. You can also make her beat herself up. In this essay, I will explain how rei mekaru is the hottest and saddest bitch around

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Rei Mekaru has had some of the best character development i've seen in anything danganronpa related(Besides DRDT). She starts off as mean, with a somewhat holier-than-thou behavior, one could say. There's not really a reason for this that we know, at first. She is a teacher type, so surely she should be nicer? Now, we enter her backstory. On her character sheet, and in part of DRA chapter 6, we are informed about what seems to have caused such behavior; Abandonment. Rei Mekaru was 'abandoned' by her parents at a young age. Growing up to hate them, and even plotting a name change due to the aforementioned hatred. Seemingly keeping it out of spite. She grows up, going to schools and supposedly getting into college early (as, I believe, you need some sort of college degree to become a teacher/professor). From my understanding, she teaches away from her home country for a while, unaware that her parents have been searching for her for years.

Sooner or later, Rei receives a letter of acceptance from Hope's Peak, and moves back to her home country. She attends Hope's Peak with her 16 classmates, and remains distant. Calling them all "incompetents" frequently. Enter, the killing game. Rei's memories are wiped, and she doesn't remember her classmates. Another character sheet implies there was an attempted KG beforehand, but, because Yamato Kisaragi still had his memories, it had to be stopped and started again. She blocks herself off from everyone, barely even showing grief at the deaths of her classmates. Only when Satsuki Iranami reveals the reason for Haruhiko kobashikawa's death, and allows herself to die, does Rei begin to let go of the beliefs that built up in her childhood. She works with the others, even making a slight invention of her own so she can talk to them about things Monokuma might not like. When Mikako Kurokawa dies, on top of Rei, it seems Rei is shaking up. Talking in a somewhat slower manner.

“This girl……… has died.” The text has a few ellipsis in it, showing quite a long pause. This possibly leaves her more shaken than before, but she tries her best now to show it. Who knows what thoughts were in her head? Someone just died on her, after all. And then, Akane Taira is revealed as the mastermind('s assistant). That must hurt. Rei trusted Akane, including her in one the daily group talks. Perhaps Rei is good at hiding up her emotions, because I think a lot of people would break down and cry on the spot. The final trial, is where we first learn of her past. And where Rei first learns she wasn't abandoned. Her parents were in large amounts of debt, and had left a very young Rei in the care of her Aunt and Uncle. however, her Aunt and Uncle never showed up. Her parents just wanted her to have a good life, but her other family members could care less about her. She finds out that her parents spent years looking for her, and possibly she imagined them sobbing and calling out for her, or possibly she's trying to say this is false. Utsuro finally ends it off, stating that Rei's parents eventually went to Junko in hopes that she would tell them that Rei is alive. Supposedly dying sometime after. Rei wants to know more, but Utsuro refuses. And Rei falls into despair. I think, the new information is what made her personality change so much, in SDRA2.

Now, we move on to Chapter 6.5 of DRA. Of course, we only see her in the last few moments, but there's still a noticeable change. Emotionally, she shows sadness slightly more. Physically, she has her hair chopped off, and different glasses. When Ryutaro Maki asks about his sister, she looks aside. Sad, it seems. Now, it's small and unimportant to mention, but it's the first glimpse we see of her personality change. (from sdra2, that is)

Onto SDRA2. We first see Rei in the prologue, with her raising a gun to shoot Mikado. She still has this somewhat harsh personality, but wants to save others more. She is soon sent into a blaze of orange, and we are made to believe that she is dead. Until sometime in chapter 4, I believe. In chapter 4, i believe, we get a slight cameo. We can only tell it's her, from the outline. It seems she thinks that she is talking to Teruya Otori. (I am unable to find the scene lmao) "Akane Taira is alive." She says. It's here, we get to know that Rei is still alive. The next time we see her, is (i believe) the very end of chapter 5. In the same room to greet Yoruko Kabuya and Iroha Nijue when they awaken. It's unimportant, but it's how we know that the last sighting wasn't an AI or some shit like that. Chapter 6 comes, and boy oh boy do I love it.

She's shown to beat herself up constantly. When Teruya is mentioned in one conversation, she begins insulting herself and even calls herself pathetic. Rei believes that she should've just died. Let herself turn to ash. That way, Teruya would still be alive. When kokoro was revealed as Mikako's mother, she quiets down. Is it from flashbacks of the DRA chapter 6 trial? Or is she just shocked, and unaware of what to say? Her new personality is flaunted in SDRA2's chapter 6, I suppose. We still do get the cop-mocking ginger every now and again, though. She seems more forgiving, and like she has finally seen that people aren't just yins and yangs. Even accepting that Sora isn't quite Akane, and asking if she can refer to Sora as 'Sora' at the end of chapter 6. even promising to try and help Yoruko and Sora meet again. possibly because she doesn't want to see someone sad over someone they cared for again.

She quite possibly cared for Teruya deeply, and he could've been emotional support. or maybe, just a coworker, but the tragedy has made her more vulnerable to emotions. Either way, it's shown that she is less closed off about her emotions. And, possibly, has a harder time with sadness. Leaving her open for attacks on her mental state. Hence why she's a more complex character, but more fun to hurt. (hence why we should always make her go through 70 stages of grief) p.s. she's also hot as hell but you didn't hear that from me