#cause I imagine the perfect love and loyalty makes it hard for people to say no to you

[tallertysupremacy]

I had the weirdest dream last night, but the best part by far was that kit and ash were in it and they were applying to UCLA together. And ash didn’t know what he wanted to study so he just like applied to ever single program there was, and kit was just exasperatedly like “you can’t do that man”. And idk. It just struck me as a very ash thing to do.

[ozai-the-bonsai]

Memento Mori

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 |

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x fem!reader

Warnings: loads and loads of tension in the air!!!!

A/N: I absolutely loved writing this chapter, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did - I am excited to see what you think about it!!!

After supper, Daemon found her lurking around Caraxes, she shined like a beacon in the dark of the night.

During the meetings with the riverlords, Lúthril had been by Daemon’s side, keeping her distance from everyone around her, only interfering to offer Daemon her wisdom or when Daemon asked her to provide her opinion on certain matters. Even though she kept saying that she had no King, in front of the little lords of the Riverlands, she did indeed act as if she had pledged her loyalty to Daemon as her king.

In everything she did, she was just too perfect: the way she carried herself ever so gracefully, the way she talked, her choice of words… It felt somehow wrong, making Daemon feel uneasy around her. Of course, at such moments, he would remember that she was no human and the uneasy feeling would go away. Deep down, he knew it only made sense for her to be perfect after having spent many years with the Gods.

Others in Harrenhal were mesmerised by her beauty the moment they saw Lúthril for the very first time that day – Daemon could swear he had seen Simon Strong drooling. Many tried to question her about where she came from and who she really was but Lúthril had a way with words – before they even knew it, she would brush the questions under the table, changing the subject or offering her wisdom about something completely irrelevant.

Before supper, Simon Strong had ordered the servants to prepare a room for the Lady to use as her chambers. Daemon could only imagine how different it had to feel to finally have a bed after hundred years of imprisonment.

As he approached Caraxes, the memories of the conversation earlier haunted him once again that day. Lúthril’s knowledge of his darkest deeds unnerved him. She was not just an advisor. She was a force—one he could not yet comprehend. But whether she was his salvation or his undoing, only time would tell.

“You give me the feeling that you enjoy the presence of my dragon more than my own, my Lady.” Daemon said, causing Lúthril to raise her head to meet his gaze. Throughout the day, he had got used to addressing her as my Lady to make the riverlords believe that she was some lady from somewhere. “Have you ever seen one this close before?”

Lúthril nodded as she placed her right hand on Caraxes’ scales. To Daemon’s surprise, the dragon was actually allowing her to touch itself, to come near itself. Daemon had no information about the Valargon’s relationship to the dragons; however, the view in front of his eyes was enough to intrigue him.

“We lived in Valyria amongst the dragonlords for a long time,” she responded, “but long before Daenys the Dreamer had her visions about the Doom, our Seers told us that we had to move to Westros.”

“So you can speak High Valyrian,” Daemon swiftly switched to his mother-tongue, causing Lúthril to giggle as she walked towards him.

“Of course I can,” Lúthril responded in High Valyrian. “Back then, the wealthiest dragonlords of Valyria could also speak the language of my people.”

Daemon took a few moments before continuing the conversation – the way Lúthril spoke the language had him mesmerised. The way the words rolled off her tongue, how High Valyrian added even more grace to her (as if it was possible) made Daemon want to stay there and just listen to her speaking in the language of his ancestors for the rest of his life.

“What about the dragons? Why do they know you?” Daemon asked, trying to gather his thoughts on the present moment but it was hard not to drift away. “Your people were no dragonlords, yet Caraxes seems to recognise your blood somehow.”

“Do you know how Targaryens became dragonlords, Daemon?” Lúthril asked, switching to the common tongue. Her intense gaze was causing different emotions to rise within Daemon, which had been confusing him ever since he met her. He didn’t really know her and yet, he was feeling the strongest attraction he has ever experienced in his life. It was exhilarating and also unsettling.

Daemon followed her when she started walking. “Of course,” he said, trying to understand where she was headed with this question. “They used blood magic – even Targaryen babes know about this.”

Lúthril sent him a confident look as she slowed down her steps. “And who do you think taught them how to carry out the blood magic to bind the dragons to the descendants of Valyrian blood?” Upon seeing the change in Daemon’s expression, she laughed. “I believe you now know the answer.”

“So it was your people?” Daemon asked, he found it hard to believe that the Valargon had played such a huge part in shaping the Targaryen dynasty – by teaching them how to be dragonlords. “That made us kings?”

She shook her head, causing her long hair to sway. “No, we simply taught you how to bind the dragons – the rest, you have accomplished yourselves.” Taking a deep breath, she rested her forehead against Caraxes’ scales, her feet stopping. It was astonishing that Caraxes was allowing her to get that close to him and that Lúthril was not getting any burns since the scales of a dragon tended to get very hot, even steaming during cold nights. “We gave you dragonfire, which eventually became our death. Destiny works in funny ways.”

Standing behind her, Daemon kept still for a moment, trying to decide whether he should listen to the wicked whispers crowding his thoughts. His reason was screaming at its lungs, telling him it was wrong, flashing him memories with Rhaenyra to make him feel awful about himself. However, the yearning after Lúthril and the desire to touch her skin was way stronger, coming from his very essence. The moment he laid his eyes on her, he would forget about Rhaenyra in a heartbeat.

At that instant, all Daemon wanted was to have her.

Listening to the whispers, Daemon took a big step towards Lúthril, resting his hands on either sides of her head, which still leaned the warm scales of Caraxes. The dragon’s hard scales were warm against Daemon’s skin, still leaving his hands unburnt. Upon realising the movements around him, Caraxes raised his long neck in an uneasy manner; however, upon seeing Daemon, the dragon let itself rest again.

“How interesting that might be, it still doesn’t answer my question – why does Caraxes recognise you?” Daemon whispered in her ear in High Valyrian. The way Lúthril shivered when his warm breath reached her ear was visible to Daemon as well, causing the edge of his lips to curl upwards.

“It is not just Caraxes,” She responded in High Valyrian, still her back was facing Daemon. “All dragons recognise us – the Valargon blood has been known to them ever since the first hatchling flapped its wings. They can smell our magic and realise its similarity to theirs.”

With slow movements, Daemon raised his right hand for a brief moment to gather Lúthril’s hair on her right shoulder. Then, he leant in for his lips to be on a level with her ear. His warm breath licked her exposed neck, causing her to take a deep breath. “In that case, I am certain Caraxes would gladly let you fly with me.” Daemon’s words were lower than a whisper. “Have you ever ridden a dragon?”

Lúthril paused for a moment before speaking, Daemon wished he could know what she thought at that moment or how she felt; however, she had a strong grip on herself, trying to show Daemon as little as she could. Well, the Rogue Prince always welcomed a challenge – the harder it was to unravel her mysteries, the more satisfaction the prize at the end brought.

“Flown I have,” Lúthril switched to the common tongue as she slowly turned inside Daemon’s arms to face him. The small distance between their bodies felt like it could burn any moment with the tension heavy in the air. “But not on dragonback.”

Daemon raised an eyebrow at her, looking down to meet her gaze. She seemed to know how to play this game as well; however, her moments of hesitation were more visible to the naked eye than his. “I believe you have to provide me more details as to how it is possible to fly without a dragon.”

A smirk found its way to her lips as she pushed back a strand of hair falling in front of her eyes. “Daemon Targaryen, you do forget who I am often enough,” she spoke with a playful tone. “Why should it puzzle you that a being able to see your past, present and future can fly too?”

“I have never seen a person floating on their own in the sky,” Daemon responded with his quick wit, following the same playful tone Lúthril has set. He leaned in even further so that his lips were brushing against hers when he spoke, “have you?”

Even the brief touch of their lips in that single moment sent a shiver down her spine, Daemon had to try hard not to put on his victory smirk. He wanted to make her desperate for himself for he enjoyed this little game more than he could put into words.

He felt… alive after a long, long time.

Lúthril’s response took him by surprise. “It saddens me that your mind insists on restricting me to the fragile human body.”

“Ah,” Daemon spoke as he took a step back. “A shapeshifter, then.” It was a thought which has not occurred to him before; however, given everything the enchantress could do with her magic, shapeshifting was really not so surprising. “Which body does my Lady prefer for a pleasant flight?”

A giggle escaped her lips as she followed Daemon on his way to Caraxes’ saddle. “An eagle,” she responded, “a white eagle.”

[POV change]

You wrapped your hands tighter around Daemon’s waist as Caraxes flew through the night sky. Even though you had flown yourself, dragonback was a far different experience – far more thrilling and far more terrifying – even for someone like yourself.

In Valyria, conquering the skies amongst the dragons used to be one of your greatest pleasures in life – but that was another time, another life, when fire had not yet consumed your world, turning everyone you once held dear to ashes.

The wind tugged at your hair, the cold air biting against your skin and for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to feel the warmth of Daemon’s body through the leather garments he carried. Strange, you thought. He had a fire burning within him, one that not even the flames of his dragon could match.

And yet, he did not know how easily he could be consumed by it.

Perhaps I myself, too, do not know how easily I can be consumed by it. The fire burning with the dragon.

For centuries, you had been untouchable, even in your imprisonment. Men, mortal or otherwise, held no sway over you. Yet, this one—Daemon Targaryen—made you question your restraint. His touch was a flame you didn’t wish to extinguish, though you knew it was dangerous to let it burn too brightly.

Your fingers, so accustomed to cold distance, now gripped him as though clinging to the last rays of the eternal light. Vulnerability, once alien, now crept beneath your skin like an uninvited guest, and you wondered how long you could allow yourself to burn.

Knowledge made it even more sweeter, the taste of the fruit. Knowing that the connection between you and Daemon had been woven into the very fabric of the time.

Is this why I find it impossible to walk away from him? you thought as you inhaled his scent, which somehow brought peace to your mind. Or is it something else?

Being close to him was becoming more intoxicating each time – you could not even recall the last time you had experienced such feelings towards another person, Valargon or human. It felt… exciting, in a different way. Despite knowing his past, present and future; Daemon was still a mysterious new book needed to be read – you had to let yourself get lost between its pages to taste its mysteries.

Desire was, indeed, quite hard to put a leash on.

“You have been quite,” Daemon spoke, breaking the silence. “Is everything alright?”

“I am simply enjoying the skies,” you responded with a content tone, “it is truly wonderous – exploring the night sky on dragonback.”

For a quick moment, Daemon looked over his shoulder to meet your gaze, his purple eyes shinning with joy. “I am glad you are enjoying yourself, my Lady.”

After a short pause, you spoke. “I do enjoy your presence, too, Daemon Targaryen.” A soft chuckle followed. “Not just your dragon’s.”

Daemon’s laugh sent shivers down your spine, you found it hard to believe how much you had grown you like that sound. It was utterly enchanting, leaving you wanting to crawl into his arms.

After dismounting Caraxes, you both stood next to each other, looking at the cursed castle of Harrenhal in silence. The night was still calm but the wind was getting colder and the full moon was slowly leaving its place to the waning crescent, its light reflecting from the diamonds on your dress.

Upon feeling his gaze on yourself, you turned your head to the left, Daemon’s purple eyes awaiting you. The flirtatious aura he normally had around himself was quite thin at that moment; all you could see in his eyes was… adoration. You couldn’t recall the last time someone looked at you that exact way.

“The diamonds on your dress,” Daemon spoke slowly as he raised his right hand. His fingers brushed against the diamonds adorning the neckline of your dress. “They make me feel like as if they have captured the light of the stars inside.”

A small smile formed on your lips. “You are not entirely wrong,” you responded, causing him to raise an eyebrow. “These diamonds were forged under the light of thousand stars, during the brightest night in the Land of the Gods.”

Daemon’s hand moved up to your shoulder, the ghost of his fingers trailing down your left arm over the fabric of your silver dress, giving you goosebumps. You took a deep breath. The effect of his touch on you was terrifying – your heart was on a race, breaths getting deeper, your body aching for more.

“So they did capture the light of the stars,” Daemon muttered as he gently held your hand. “Any less wouldn’t do your beauty any justice.”

Your heart skipped a beat.

The distance between your bodies seemed to get less and less, until you stopped yourself – you knew today was not the right time. Upon seeing the confused look in Daemon’s purple eyes, you placed your right hand on the side of his face, your left hand holding his right one.

“Not today,” you whispered, your lips slightly touching his as you spoke. “The stars move in their own time, Daemon. Let us not rush what’s already written.”

Standing on your fingertips, you left a kiss on his left cheek, a chuckle leaving Daemon’s lips. “You are a strange kind of woman,” he spoke as you stepped back.

With a smile on your lips, you turned around to head back to the castle. “Good night, Daemon.”

Taglist: @throughgoeshamilton @mirandastuckinthe80s @xicesam @mariamyousef702 @eddiemadmunson @dont-try-pesticide @sweetybuzz25 @hc-geralt-23 @schniiipsel @ttae-yong @syrma-sensei @asiludida164 @kaitieskidmore1 @irmavanity-blog @pax-2735 @trickrtreatart @shanzeyxsyed @random-human02 @scarwicht @xcallmetaniax @instabull @niiight-dreamerrrr @my-dark-prince @stargaryenx @abaker74 @babywolff @sonnensplitter @bi-narystars @softtina @sadmonke @avalyaaa @superintenseart @immyowndefender @claud012 @ayamenimthiriel @vavafaure1994 @ilovegrishaverse @avadakadabra93

[alister312]

okie alister. tell me. why gregstophe 🤨. give me a movie pitch for ur blorbo i want to see it like u do :>

There are many reasons “why gregstophe” BUT let’s see if I can give a relatively quick sales pitch—

Is “opposites attract” a trope you enjoy? Good news, this ship is for you! On one hand you’ve got Gregory: an impeccably mannered, Harvard Yardale-educated Brit with strong morals and a passion for politics and revolution. Then on the other hand there’s Christophe: a dirt-loving, God-hating French mercenary with a penchant for fighting everyone and saying wild shit at socially inappropriate times. However, they are friends (or at least allies) and seem to be among the only people the other respects. This begs the question: why? Are they different around each other, when they’re alone? Softer, perhaps? Do their walls come down, no need for pretenses? Do they bicker, or is it what they do more like banter? Maybe they’re only opposites on a surface level.

Are you a Les Mis fan? Because these two are just (as i once saw someone put it) Walmart-brand Enjolras and Grantaire, and many of the tropes those two have get brought into Gregstophe. Namely, Christophe’s unwavering devotion and loyalty to Gregory’s fight for freedom. Even if he doesn’t quite believe in the cause himself, he believes in Gregory enough to give his life. Honestly even if you aren’t a Les Mis fan (like me, i’ve only ever seen the bad movie adaptation once), you can see hints of this in the BLU movie. Christophe refuses to help the main boys rescue Terrance and Phillip until Gregory’s name gets mentioned and then, as Christophe dies, he sings a reprise of Gregory’s song. That sounds like textbook unwavering devotion to me.

Do you like playing around with religious themes and imagery? I do, and again they are perfect for that. Half of Christophe’s screen time is him talking about how much God hates him (and he hates God) and Gregory’s song “La Resistance” heavily implies that his morals are based in Christian beliefs. I personally like expanding that further into classic Catholic Feeling Repression™️. The self makes for such a good antagonist narratively and WOW do they just scream two characters whose greatest demons are their own expectations they heap upon themselves.

Lastly, there’s the mercenary route that many people take with them. Christophe canonically is one and Gregory is often rewritten as one (it’s not a hard leap), which leads to SO many possibilities. There’s the high stakes risk of dangerous jobs which could be just the thing to help feelings bubble to the surface. There’s the physical hurt they can experience and the angst that comes with it, often paired with patching wounds or miscommunication in worry disguised as anger. There’s the “we’re business partners, we can’t have romantic feelings, we have to be detached and professional especially in a dangerous field such as this” repression you can add (perhaps ON TOP of the religious repression). And you don’t even need to have them be mercenaries! They could be spies instead, or revolutionaries (which is what they really are), and you would still be able to use all those tropes. Sure you can do that with any ship but these two have that good good canon confirmation to fuel headcanons.

NOW— did they ever actually interact on screen? Well. No lol. The closest we have is the confirmation that they know one another via Gregory having Christophe’s address on his person and Christophe trusting the main boys once they mention Gregory sent them. Also, a draft of the script for the movie had them interacting on screen and Christophe alludes to him and Gregory having rescued canadian prisoners together before. You’re gonna need your imagination but the groundwork is there!! It’s a ship so ripe with potential it makes me insane.

so… yeah! viva la gregstophe 🏳️‍🌈

[kayxleeee]

Loki Laufeyson:Delusions (Loki x Reader)

Warning: NONE! Slight Mean + Sad Loki

A/N: Love this one! I always feel so bad for Loki in Thor The Dark World :(

Summary: After Loki returns to Asgard he is immediately sent to prison for his crimes on Earth. Unfortunate events occur when Asgard is under attack and you just want nothing more than to check in on your beloved.

Word Count: 2k+

*NOT MY GIF* Do not copy my work

The news of Loki return to Asgard was both worrisome and exciting. There were rumors being spread about that he was returning as a fugitive for the destruction of not only earth, but the crimes that he had committed against  Asgard. You of course found yourself just happy to know that he was alive. He may not had been well, but sure he was very much alive.

Living. Breathing. Speaking.

Out of all Thor’s closest friends, you and Loki bounded the most, which caused you solely, to develop feelings for him. These feelings would lead to a sever fallout between you and your warrior companions. With Loki’s criminal accusations, hate and critism came from many, especially from Sif and Fandral. For you to still think highly of him,--well you were considered a traitor in their eyes.

When he returned you were forbidden to pay him any visits. Odin also ordered that the only visitors Loki received were of kin and even those visits were kept very minimal. Now with the unbearable news of Frigga’s death you worried about his sanity even more than before.

The queen has been deceased for a few days now, Thor was easily consoled  by Jane’s presents and the support of the Asgardian people who were also mourning their queen. However no one was concerned for the fallen prince, except for you. You knew that his crimes were severe, but nothing was more torturous than knowing of your mothers death and there is nothing for you to do because you are locked away without even the slightest hope of saying goodbye.

For days you try to receive information on the location of where Loki was being held. You are a warrior of Asgard, you should have known these things, but because of your so-called bias-ness for the Prince of Mischief you weren’t allowed. Your inquiries about Loki’s whereabouts in the palace were extremely noticeable and you received a lot of animosity for it, especially from Lady Sif. She called you stupid and selfish for wanting to see him. You were also accused of not having any dignity or self respect. No one would tell you directly where Loki was being held, but with enough sneaking around the palace, you finally over heard a few guards speaking of his whereabouts.

With the common criminals.

-

You have been watching two sets of guards for more than an hour. You wanted to  slip past them undetected, but you needed to wait for the perfect moment. You weren't one of the most skilled warriors in fighting but you were known for your intelligence and abilities to be clever in any situation. The plan was for you to create a diversion to get the guards away from the staircase leading down to the dungeons.  You knew that since the palace had been attacked from the inside out the guards would be on high alert. You cast a large stone, breaking a window to which the guards attention is drawn to the noise. They run into the direction of the shattering glass. As you sneak past them, the memories of Stif warning you fills your mind as you flip into the entrance running down the concrete staircase as quickly as possible.

“It’ll be the last thing you do” She threatened.

“He is a prisoner, he knows his crime.” She scoffed

“If you go to him, we will know where your loyalties lie.”

“Loki cares nothing about you, he is a man who cares simply for himself.”

You reach the bottom of the large steps, hoping you were turning down the correct corridor as you ran quickly. You notice on your way that the majority of the cells are completely empty. This worried you, but did not stop you from searching for him. You luckily reach his location without any mishaps.

“Loki!” You announce breathlessly watching as he paced around the small room with his back turned away from you.

His cell was tidy, clean as if he had not touched a single thing. He had all of his things that brought him comfort; fancy furniture, books, papers, and pens. You knew that Loki loved to read because the two of you spent the majority’s of your time together in the library. You felt at ease knowing that he at least had that. This was of course curtsy of the Queen; she asked for these items. Although he was being punished, the only thing she wanted for her dear son was that he was comfortable in his confinement no matter what he had done.

“What is it ?!” He snapped turning around to face you. He took heed in your presence and then pressed his lips into a thin line. “Ah, Lady (Y/n).” He greets you calmly, then an amused grin appears on his face. “Here to tell me the mighty King has passed on too?”

His comment took you by surprise, you assumed he would be just as grateful to see you, as you were to see him.

“Don’t be so morbid Loki!” You cut him off with offense frowning your face in confusion. “With the news of your mother passing, I would think you’d have far-more compassion for your family, for Asgard.”

“My family.” He repeats, mocking your charismatic tone placing his hand over his chest. “My Family is not here on Asgard. My family are no more than those disgusting vile creatures you fight and kill.”

“Loki I know you’re hurting, I know you have all this anger built up, but you have to know that you do have family and loved ones here on Asgard.” You say subtlety hinting at yourself. “I did not come here to be mocked.” You say in a calming voice as he walks over to you.

You place a hand on the enchanted glass as you look up to his figure continuing to speak. “I am not one for your dramatics, I just wanted to see how you were holding up.”

“Holding up?” He lets out a malice laugh. “Ha! Holding up?! I am locked in a cage like an animal!”

You slam your fist against the glass in annoyance realizing your loving reunion was falling flat. You did not come here to argue with this man, you didn’t even plan far enough to think of exactly what you wanted to say, but it was never envisioned like this.

“And who’s fault is that Loki?! Who’s fault!?” You snap matching his dramatic tone.

“My own! For trusting idiots!” He yells back and you can’t help but think what idiots he were referring to. He continues,  “Why are you even down here, Odin forbade anyone from seeing me, you can’t be THAT stupid. Or perhaps you want to cast more stones?”

“Cast stones?— I came here as a friend Loki. All this worrying I did for you, all the tears and regrets. I risked my own life and freedom by coming down here” You scoff rolling your eyes at his demeanor. “Just to be spat on by you?”

“Better I to you, then you to me.” He laughs.

“That is your problem, you always think people want to hurt you just as bad as you want to hurt them! Look at you and your brother, he mourned you, we all did, and you go and do this? Destroy and take over the only place he loves. What did you gain?!”

“Oh bullshit! That place was nothing, but a pathetic little wasteland! They needed ORDER.”

“They needed no such thing Loki, YOU needed a sense of belonging.” You say with emphasis.

“My god you’re just as delusional as my brother .” He laughs.

“Delusional?!” You yell.

“Yes.” He says calmly, pleased at how angry he was making you. He walks away and sits on his couch crossing his legs and resting his arms on top of them. “D-e-l-u-s-i-o-n-a-l, delusional.”

As he walked away you noticed a single error in his walk as if it all was an illusion. Something that only someone who knew Loki would catch if they payed close enough attention.

“Enough, no more illusions Loki. Show me your true state, I know you are not this heartless. The only person who stands here delusional is you!”

With that, what you thought was the real Loki fades away in shimmers. A much sadder scene formed before you. The cell becomes a mess, with the once neat furniture, either broken or distorted across the room. The scuff marks on the walls concluded that he had thrown the furniture with immense force. His beloved books were ripped and torn to shreds, and his once neat clothes tattered and disheveled. Your eyes meet his saddened pale figure sitting on the floor near something he recently broken. Fresh blood oozes down his foot as the glass that was lodge in him is discarded next to him on the floor.

“IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED TO SEE!? A BROKEN MAN YOU SEE !?” His unruly hair falls into his face as he screams at the top of his lungs, veins bulging from his neck.

You immediately go to the side panel that unlocks the cell, running to his aid. You kneel beside him where there is not much debris, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug. He barriers himself deep into your neck letting out a silent sob. You hold him close as if you never wanted to let him go.

“I am here Loki.” You whisper to him placing a kiss to the top of his head.

You have never in your seen the Prince so weak, so fragile, so upset, so venerable. This all must have taken a huge toll on him, you couldn’t imagine what he was going through.

“ I did not want this for myself, I did not want this, not for her.” He says lowly as his voice breaks.

“I know.” You rub his back softly. “But you have to know that she loved you unconditionally with all her being, Loki.”

“I-, I don’t believe that.” He sighs with a hint of hesitation in his voice. “No one could ever.”

“That should not be hard to believe because I do, I love you too, I love you unconditionally.”

“You love me?” Asked confused he pulls away from your embrace looking at you with puffy red eyes.

“Yes.” You admit.

“You surely love as a friend correct?” He questions with squinted eyes.

“More.” You place a hand on his cheek giving him a small reassuring smile. “I’ve always loved you Loki, more than a companion, way before any of this.”

He places his hand over yours, giving you a weak smile, then leans in to kiss you. You were surprised , but quickly adapted the new feeling. The kiss was sweet and slow, so slow it felt as if time had stopped. He pulls away resting his forehead against yours.

“This probably is the best news I’ve received all week.” He says with a light chuckle. "I'm so sorry."

You smile pecking his lips once more before speaking again.

“I hope you know that for me to love you unconditionally, that I know who you are deep down. I know you aren’t all bad. I know that you had your reasons for going to earth and ruining New York, just as you had reasons for all the mayhem you have created. What was it ?” You say attempting to have him open up more.

“My reasoning ?” He asked in an unsure voice. “ I do not know.” He concluded turning way to look forward as if he was thinking.

“I find that very hard to believe Loki.” You say resting your head on his shoulder, taking his hand. “But I’m here whenever you’re ready to open up.”

It was true, you never thought Loki was all bad, you knew that there had to be reasons behind his mischief and misunderstanding. A few minutes passed of the two of you just being in one another’s presents. You imagined in other circumstances, this is how Thor felt when he Jane, as if nothing else matter other than the fact that they had each other.

“It…. His name was Thanos, after I fell from the birfrost—” He finally spoke, but it was short lived.

“(Y/n)!” You hear Thor shout from the other end of the cell interrupting. He states at the two of you intensely.

“Thor it is not what is seems.” You say imagining Lady Sif would soon be on her was as well.

“You are not in trouble (Y/n), but I need to speak to my brother, alone.”

You turn your attention back to Loki and he nods patting your hand. The two of you get up and Loki weakly walks you over to the entrance of the cell that you  previously came through.

“We can talk later, you know I’ll be here.” He looks at you with a knowing grin placing another kiss on your lips, before Turing to his brother.

You nod turning away to leave the two alone to talk. You had hopes that one day you and Loki could somehow be together, and finish that conversation, but today was clearly not that day.

[eyesanddragons]

Moonwatcher opinion bingo, perhaps?

Oh Moonwatcher...I have Feelings about Moon, a character that is somehow deeper yet also not as deep as they seem and I find that disappointing cause Moon's potential as a character was just dashed over and I will never be over it. I will never be Moon's possible characterization.

Okay so, Moon for Arc 2 - her book, is like one of those love interests who's personalities change suddenly for ship tease, her opinions about things change so suddenly it's genuine whiplash, it's so hard to get a genuine grip on Who She Is, as a character, because Who She Is, is being superseded by the LOVE TRIANGLE, and that sucks because Moon under all that nonsense is a genuinely interesting cast member.

Something I consider Defining about Moon is that she considers Thought over Action, a persons thoughts say more about them than there actions, Moon instead of looking at someone's actions or the environment around them, will go to there thoughts, that's how she found Icicle, Sora's issues, Winter's loyalty and family issues (A THING I WILL GET TO BECAUSE THAT IS ACTUALLY A REALLY IMPORTANT SCENE) she comments on if a dragon's mind has darkness or if it's surrounded with flames yadadadada.

For Moon it's Thought > Action, see Darkstalker as an example of that, Moon has a hard time accepting Darkstalker as a genocidal murderdragon because his intentions, his reasons, his Thought are so good, Moon knows, or thinks, Darkstalker wants to do the best, and that's sort of true but we know that isn't Darkstalker's true reason.

Qibli and Moon have a discussion about this on page 115-116 of Escaping Peril, in it Moon says that Winter won't come back because she's seen inside his head, he's too loyal to his family (A sentence I feel weird about because Winter's homelife SUCKS and I feel like if you spent a second in Winter's mind you'd understand that but I digress) Qibli says "You know Moon sometimes you focus too much on a person's thoughts that you miss what there actually doing, and what they do tells you more about how their like," and Moon is like "That make's no sense." but we know cause of Darkstalker that Qibli will be proven right, Darkstalker's actions say more about him than his thoughts. Same With Winter, but also Qibli, Qibli's actions say more about him than his thoughts, because Qibli's conflict is with his personal identity, so Qibli has emotional stake in this conversation and I'd like to believe this conversation started this insecurity about if Moon would actually love him.

This conversation is weird cause Moon was the one who even suggested the grace period so going back on it is kinda weird but I think this conversation is consistent with what Moon has been doing this entire Arc.

And I wish there was more of this, cause aside from how she interacts with Darkstalker, stuff that doesn't even get addressed, except for that one time Winter calls her out for defending the genocidal murder dragon and get's told he's wrong for doing that which would be genuinely interesting characterization for both Moon and Qibli EXCEPT THERE CONSINDERED RIGHT-

And then Moon ends the arc not with a bang but with a whimper, and I'm upset cause we could have gotten such an interesting moral discussion about Thought vs Action, tying into the pre-existing themes of Control, and Moon could of been the perfect character in that kind of conflict cause she can both see the future and read minds, thus embodying lack of control and the importance of thought, you can even see this in her personality, she's shy and timid and doesn't take initiative because she's worried about how everyone else will think of her, and her having no control over her life mirrors how she has no control over her powers, and then she could of been a DARKSTALKER MIRROR because Darkstalker steals people's agency and judges based on there inherent morality.

Imagine me punching a wall for a moment, because that is what I'm going to do after this is posted. Moon deserved so much better than becoming a bad love interest.

[midnightsconspiracy]

Faith Restored

Faith Restored - @midnightsconspiracy

Summary: When an argument with your husband causes you to walk out, a vendetta against him leads to you being kidnapped. But will Hank find you in time to be reunited with him and your child?

Warnings: Swearing, Violence

Word Count: 2670

Requested: Yes! I got these two requests so decided to combine them into one fic as they were pretty similar, so I hope the people that requested don't mind. :)

"hi!! I’m so happy I found someone that loves hank too. I’ll literally take any fic with him: age gap romance, marriage, having a baby, his enemies taking you and him tearing the city apart to get you back, some combination of all that, I’ll take it all. thank you for your writing!!"

"Hii! I love your fics 💖 could you please write something with hank, like he arguments with his girlfriend about their work, then she’s kidnapped and he gets all worried and asks for forgiveness, if you don’t feel comfortable with that it’s aaaaall goood :) xoxo"

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this fic and I have a few more requests to write so stayed tunes for them. But thank you for your support and keep sending requests in. Also if you've got some free time drop me a message, I'd love to hear from some of you guys!!!

Masterlist

Love. It was a feeling you had refused to believe in. Everyone around you telling you that the one was out there, and it was only a matter of time, but you were convinced that wasn’t true. At one point previously you had believed in it but that only led to a broken heart and weeks of uncontrollable crying, the man you thought was the one, cheating on you only days before your wedding. So how could it be true if the universe had let you suffer that badly? But as cliché as it sounds, that point of view changed completely as soon as you started your new job as a detective in the intelligence unit. From day one you had fallen head over heels for your boss, that hope of love finally returning. It had taken a long time for you to trust him and enter a fully committed relationship as that fear of heartbreak and the large age gap between you loomed over you both initially. Hank had been the best though, taking his time going step by step to make sure you were comfortable with everything, as well as keeping away the judgement from others the best that he could. He understood that feeling himself, still suffering the loss of Camille’s death, scared that you would leave him, but instead of being non-committal, it drove him to love you more, living each day like it was his last.

Now five years later, your relationship was pure bliss. Long gone were the days of doubts and distrust, instead replaced with only contentment and loyalty. Onlookers still judged the unconventional age difference but you had learned to live with it, coming to the conclusion that you loved Hank regardless and that was all that mattered. Only eight months into the relationship he decided that you really were the one for him, and a world in which he didn’t spend the rest of his life with you was one he couldn’t imagine, and so proposed inside his office, the place that started it all. You married shortly after at the courthouse, with only a small guest list, just wanting to be surrounded by your closest friends and family. The unit all in attendance, some crying, others wishing it were them getting married but collectively all ecstatic at the fact their favourite office romance was finally tying the knot. The next couple of months felt like absolute paradise, like you were in some sort of dream never to wake up again. Never a day went by where you didn’t feel the utmost joy and love in your heart, each day was a new adventure with the man that you could finally call your husband. You were on cloud nine thinking your life couldn’t get any better, until one day two pink lines stared back at you.

When you married Hank you didn’t expect to have any children, with him already having Justin and a grandson. This left you a little disheartened, but you would have married him under any conditions, even if that meant your dream of having kids would never come true. Whilst talking about your future together in the first few months of dating, the topic of kids had come up once or twice, with him stating he would love to have kids with you, but believing he couldn’t have any due to his age. But once you had told him you were pregnant, he was absolutely elated, even crying whilst confessing how much he loved and appreciated you. After a relatively difficult pregnancy with Hank being the most supportive, protective partner there could be, you gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy weighing in at 8 pounds, having his eye colour and your nose, a perfect combination of the both of you. For the first few years of your babies life, you spent your time staying at home looking after him, watching him grow up to look more and more like your husband each day. But finally, after his third birthday, you decided the unit was your calling and you wanted to rejoin your old team.

Things started off relatively normal, reuniting with the unit properly, finally becoming a team again. Adrenaline filled your veins once more, loving the thrill of arresting criminals and going on busts. The words ‘let's roll out’ sent sparks of serotonin throughout your body, loving being back after years of ‘calmness’ from child care. This new feeling caused you to get a little over-excited sometimes but nothing, in your opinion, that could be considered careless. However, if you asked Hank he would completely disagree. The man just wanted you to be safe at all times, not just for him but for your son as well. Things started heating up after a couple of weeks of you working there, him not wanting to address it initially as he knew you were so happy doing what you loved, but he was scared for your safety. He didn’t want a repeat of his last marriage, he adored you so much he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if you were to get an injury or die. That was until one night, a bad day at the office caused him to snap, needing you to know how he felt about what you were doing.

Leaning against the counter in the kitchen at your shared home, you heard the door slam, knowing it was Hank, who had stayed behind in his office after a particularly nasty case.

“Hi Babe, did you get everything done that you wanted to?” You chirped, just happy that your husband was finally home.

“Y/N we need to talk,” you turned around to face him, your smile falling at his serious tone.

“Ok?”

“I understand you love being back in the unit but Y/N, we have a son now”

“What are you trying to say?” You replied, your tone turning sour, part of you knew what he was trying to say, but never in your mind did you think he would confront you about it. Why couldn’t he just be happy for you?

“I just think you’re being too reckless in the field,” he remained calm, just trying to get you to understand where he was coming from.

“Reckless? Are you fucking kidding me! I’ve spent three years looking after our kid and you can’t even allow me to have this?” You were furious by this point, you loved your job and had been away from it for a long time. Ok, maybe you were a little under cautious sometimes but not what he was suggesting!

“I'm just looking out for you, I can’t have you dying on me Y/N! You’re my wife for god’s sake I want you to be alive and safe!” He raised his voice, angry you couldn’t see what he was seeing.

“You know what fuck you, Hank!” You pushed past him, grabbing your keys and wallet on the way out, getting into your car to go anywhere but that house.

Driving around the city you were thinking of places to go, your parents, a hotel, another member of the units house? Finally deciding on Jay’s apartment you pulled into his buildings car park, checking your phone before going inside. Staring back at you were five missed calls and thirteen unread messages, all from the same person, the reason why you were outside someone else’s apartment and not your own home. Getting out of your car you walked towards the entrance of the apartment building, mulling over whether you should message Hank back. Deciding against it, you lowered your phone, not even wanting to think about it for the time being. Suddenly someone grabbed you by the waist, yanking you towards them, placing a foreign material over your mouth. You screamed, praying someone would hear your cries as you kicked your legs out and at the perpetrator as they dragged you backwards. More hands reached out to pull you into a car, sobbing you regretted what happened earlier, wishing you would have just stayed home. Finally, as your vision blurred, you hoped the unit would find you before it was too late.

Waking up in a cold room, you tried to pull your arm towards your chest, meeting resistance in the form of metal chains attached above your head. You groggily looked around, using your detective skills to assess the situation you were in, noting nothing in the cold, concrete room except yourself and a metal frame chair placed in front of you. Confused at the situation, you thought about what you had done, was it a person you had arrested? Or someone who had a vendetta against you? That you didn’t know, you couldn’t comprehend anything at the moment, your head pounding not allowing you to think clearly. You remembered being in the apartment complex’s car park after an argument but other than that everything was hazy. Thinking as hard as you could, your thoughts were interrupted as one of the offenders entered the room. He sat at the chair, sharpening his knife, a sadistic smirk played on his face.

“You know why you’re here?” Raking your brain you couldn’t think of anyone you had pissed off enough for them to go to these extremes.

“No,” you replied not wanting to antagonise him in any way.

“Your killer of a husband murdered my boy in broad daylight and no one, NO ONE, ever did anything about it!”

“That wasn’t me, please just let me go, you can talk it out with my husband in the proper ways!” You pleaded, knowing that him showing you his face didn’t bode well for your chances of survival.

“YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS THE DAY YOU MARRIED THAT MURDERER!” He shouted out, punching you in the stomach, taking his anger out on you anyways possible.

“He’ll find us, and when he does he’ll kill you too,” you spat knowing that you couldn’t make anything worse. In response he threw a series of punches at your face, grabbing his knife holding it to your throat. Smirking he replied,

“You think he really cares about you?”

“WELL, WHERE IS SHE?” Hank was absolutely seething. Shouting at anyone who came to talk to him, both members of his unit and uniformed officers alike. He couldn’t lose her, besides his son, she was his whole life, not even wanting to picture a world where she wasn’t with him. He had to prepare for the worst, he knew that, but he couldn’t do it without a tear coming to his eye. Why her? Why couldn’t they just have taken him instead? He was who they wanted, not her, so why couldn't they just have fucking take him?! The team all sat watching, waiting, knowing it was only a matter of time before he would come out and demand answers, ones they didn’t have at the moment. They owed their boss, cashing in multiple favours with him throughout their time in intelligence, and they knew this was the only thing Voight would ever ask for in return. And Y/N, you had worked with them for years, not just being colleagues but developing a strong friendship that would last years to come, that’s if they could find you in time. Exiting his office, the unit turned to their boss as he spoke.

“I want everyone giving their all to this case, this is my wife we’re talking about, not just some faceless victim, Y/N, your friend, your colleague, and we are going to find her. No matter what it takes, am I clear?” Each detective replied with a ‘yes sarge' and getting to work, investigating every lead that they could. A couple of hours later the team had found the suspects, located pod footage from the time you were kidnapped and worked out a motive, everything seemed like was going well, except for the fact they still didn’t have a location. Another hour passed and still no location, Hank getting more and more agitated by the second, with his anger about to boil over, all with the push of a button, or a certain detective. Being the bearer of bad news, the team pushed Ruzek to play the devils advocate to tell the Sergeant they had come up empty.

“Hey Sarge, we’ve got nothing else, every lead we’ve got is coming up dry”

“NOTHING! YOU’VE GOT NOTHING? SHE COULD BE DEAD FOR ALL WE KNOW AND YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU’VE GOT NOTHING?” Hank boomed scared that his precious wife, who had done nothing to deserve this, could be being tortured or even worse dead.

“Hank, Hank” Olinsky stepped in, pushing his distraught friend back in his office, knowing Adam had done nothing wrong, instead just an outlet for his long term friends anger.

“It's ok, she’s gonna be fine” Alvin reassured him, knowing him exploding with emotions would do nothing to help his missing wife. Finally, an hour later, the team got a breakthrough courtesy of a CI of Dawson's, gearing up and rolling out as quickly as possible much to Hank’s delight.

Raising your head, you spat at the man in front of you, teasing him even more, threatening him to do his worst. He had beat you, cut you, degraded you, trying to get your spirit to break. Although you knew Hank would come to find you, you were starting to crack, the pain overwhelming to the point where you couldn’t cope anymore, a pain you wouldn’t wish on anyone. You were losing faith rapidly, expecting your unit to have already come by now, but where were they? Maybe they didn’t actually care about you? Lowering your head after a series of more beatings, you’d had enough.

“Please stop, please, I’ll do whatever you want, just please stop!” You cried finally giving into the man.

“I want you to pay for what your husband has done to my family, pay with your life,” he pulled a gun from the waistband of his trousers, pointing straight at the middle of your forehead. You had lived your life as much as you could, finding the love of your life, having a son and restoring your faith in the universe, well up until now. Closing your eyes you prepared yourself for the bullet, but when the loud shot came, it wasn’t from a gun but instead the door flying off its hinges.

“DROP THE WEAPON!” Someone shouted, someone that sounded weirdly familiar to your husband.

“DROP IT,” they repeated before you heard a clatter on the ground and a flurry of movement. Suddenly someone grabbed your face, nervously speaking your name. Opening your eyes, you looked up, staring straight into the eyes of your husband, smiling briefly before a cloud of darkness washed over you.

Waking up, the first thing you noticed with the constant beeping of a machine, then the warm feeling of a hand in yours. You slowly opened your eyes, blinking sluggishly adjusting to the harsh light, before focusing on the figure beside you.

“Hank?” You croaked, sounding like death itself but glad you were alive and facing your husband once more.

“Baby! Thank god you’re alive, you got me so worried there,” you smiled, thanking whatever god was out there for a second chance so you could spend the rest of your life with your husband and child.

“I-i missed you, Hank”

“I know Baby, I know I missed you too.”

“I’m sorry for walking out on you, why couldn’t I have just stayed there and listened to you? Talked it out properly”

“No don’t apologise, this was all my fault, you loved what you were doing and I was trying to take that away from you because of my own selfish wants.” You loved the man beside you unconditionally and although you were mad in the moment, this whole situation made you realise that nothing he could do could make you love him any less.

[maneskinrollercoaster]

~ You Don’t Even Have Fucking Balls To Choose The One You Love ~

Pairing: Damiano David x Victoria De Angelis

Word count: 1754

Warnings: a bit of swearing and a slight angst but apart from that none

Summary: One little kiss leads to something unexpected.

It all started with an innocent kiss. They’ve just won Eurovision and all the excitement and adrenaline was too much. His soft lips met hers harshly and she wrapped her hands around his neck. Both surprised pulled away from each other and started laughing, not thinking much of what just happened between them and quickly ran to others, jumping from happiness.

Their lips met again a month later after they all went off the stage in Poland, both sweaty and exited from their performance, blood rushing in their veins. No one was surprised really, it was well known that between these two there was always a spark of chemistry that none of them could deny. Little did they know that this spark will evolve in something much more than just innocent kisses.

One night he entered her room silently, in a rush of anxiety and woke her up gently, trying not to scare her.

What’s going on, Damiano? She said and sat on the bed looking a him with a worried expression.

He looked pale, without any colors on his face, eyes watery and his hands shaking.

I’m scared, Vic. What if all this is too good to be true? What if everything we’re doing is gonna end in a blink of an eye? He said and Vic not saying anything pulled him closer in a warm hug, wrapping her arms around his neck.

That night he stayed in her bed and both of them, not really knowing why, got lost in each other, trying hard for everyone not to hear their moans and fell asleep with their naked bodies tied together in a warm hug.

It kept on happening more often during the tour. In a rush of adrenaline they would lock themselves in a fitting room behind the stage and have sex to make all the stress vanish.

Fans saw something was happening and the two of them knew that their unusual relationship is being slowly revealed to the world. All the stage glances, naked pool pictures and all the interactions they had with each other suddenly became visible for the internet. They didn’t care though, still enjoying each other’s company and support.

The truth was, they’ve always been the closest with each other. They just clicked from the beginning and enjoyed spending time together, even after recording. They often stayed up all night talking about their favorite bands, singing their favorite songs or just chatting about everything and nothing. And because their chemistry was so good and their friendship so strong, they didn’t see anything bad in their small sexual secret.

Not until Damiano’s girlfriend started having doubts about his loyalty. Don’t get her wrong though, Giorgia loved Damiano and she would never even think of thinking of the idea of Damiano having an affair. But all the instagram edits, all the YouTube videos and all the ambiguous pictures of him and Victoria, made her have second thoughts, whether Damiano is truly dedicated to her and only her.

So when she brought it up, Damiano only then realized, what he was doing. He never was the one to cheat but suddenly he found himself cheating on Giorgia with Vic, which was never meant to happen. After all, they’ve been together for four years and he never wanted to hurt her, let alone cheat on her.

So he lied.

Nothing is between us, amore. Are you crazy? You know that this whole chemistry thing is just for show. Also it’s hard not to suspect anything when we’re trying to keep our relationship private. Damiano said and quickly wrapped his arms around Giorgia to assure her of his lie.

She loved him so she believed him. But she wasn’t stupid though and noticed something was different about Damiano. Since winning Eurovision they haven’t been intimate with each other as they used to be before. All they really did was kissing and cuddling but sex almost vanished.

So he lied again.

I’m so sorry, babe. I’m so stressed with all the tour and recording the new album is taking a lot of time. I didn’t realize that I’ve grown distant with you. Let me fix that. He said and kissed her gently.

That night, Damiano tried to cover up his lies and cheating, with sex, which by the way wasn’t all that great for him. The truth was, all he thought about was Victoria and their little secret.

Time passed by and both of them grew closer and closer with each other, slowly catching feelings and making it obvious that something is in the air. It was harder for them to cover it up so around boys they’ve acted as if they were together. Ethan and Thomas didn’t mind, as much as they felt bad for Giorgia, they loved seeing Damiano and Victoria so happy.

The whole band with some of their friends went on a vacation to Bali. Beautiful views, crystal clear water, amazing weather, and everything would be perfect if not the fact that Damiano brought Giorgia with him. He couldn’t do anything about it though, he didn’t want her to suspect anything and it would look stupid if everyone took their closest people and he wouldn’t take his girlfriend.

Victoria couldn’t stand it. All the kisses, all the hugs and their constant laughter. Damiano looked completely lost in Giorgia and Vic’s heart ached at the sight of them having so much fun together. She wanted to be on her place after all and that’s when she realized that she’s head over heels in love with Damiano.

They couldn’t avoid it - you would say. But Victoria really thought at first that their relationship was strictly sexual and everything else between them was just a friendly love. Turns out she was wrong and her feelings for him were strong and sincere.

She told him then.

I can’t hide it anymore Dami. I can’t hide that I’m in love with you. She said and he looked at her with surprised expression.

Damiano knew his feelings and he knew he felt the same, but admitting it to Victoria and more importantly, to himself, hit him harder than he thought it would. He just then realized that he has to choose between staying with Giorgia and hurting Vic, which would possibly cause making things worse for the band, or staying with Victoria and hurting Giorgia, who after all, always been there for him for the past four years. Pretending wasn’t an option anymore.

I love you, Vic. And I don’t know how, but we will get through this together. He said and hugged her the tightest he could, afraid that she will slip through his fingers sooner than he thought.

Days went by and their new album Teatro D’Ira vol 2 was ready to be released. Many songs were about Victoria and her being more and more involved in their relationship, couldn’t stand a fact that Damiano would spend every night at Giorgia’s place. She couldn’t even begin to imagine him telling her that the songs are about her, lying in her face.

So one day she asked him.

Did you tell her, Dami? Victoria asked, entering the studio where Damiano was preparing instruments.

He promised Victoria that he will talk to Giorgia and end things with her as soon as it’s possible. He tried to avoid it, buying Victoria little gifts and filling her ears with sweet words and I love you’s but he knew that she isn’t dumb and that sooner or later she will demand explanations.

Tell who about what? He played dumb and he couldn’t believe that now he’s lying to Vic too.

Her cheeks turned red from anger and her eyes wide opened, gave him a death stare, not wanting to believe his confusion.

Are you kidding? Still nothing, he looked at her with a fake surprise on his face. Giorgia? About us? Don’t play stupid Damiano, you know exactly what I’m talking about! She raised her voice and Damiano gave up.

I didn’t. I’m sorry. You need to give me some more time. She just got out of the hospital, I can’t just go and slap her in the face with the fact that i cheated on her.

Her going out of the hospital is not an excuse! You were supposed to tell her a long time ago and yet you didn’t. Why? Victoria didn’t care if they will argue at this point, she wanted to get the answers and she wasn’t leaving anywhere without them.

Damiano didn’t know what to say. He was a coward, and after a long time he finally admitted it. He was too scared to tell Giorgia, he didn’t want to hurt her and for the first time in his life, he didn’t have the courage to tell someone how he really feels.

You know what, forget it. You don’t even have fucking balls to choose the one you love! Victoria shouted and stormed out of the studio, shutting the door the loudest she could.

She wasn’t the one to get hurt ever but she’s really fallen for Damiano and over the time their bond got stronger. She really felt like he was her soulmate, someone she was always looking for. But now she was crying over a guy for the first time in her life which she promised herself that’s never going to happen.

The tension between them was obvious. Thomas and Ethan could see that something is wrong, but not wanting to make things worse, they let them be. The concerts were less charismatic and their energy wasn’t showing that much, which made fans suspect too.

But the thing that happened next blew everyone away.

I wanna be your slave I wanna be your master. Damiano whispered to the microphone and quickly walked up to Victoria, pulling her in for a passionate kiss.

The crowd went crazy, they were screaming, crying and taking pictures, throwing things on the stage like flowers and clothes but Victoria and Damiano forgot about everyone around. It was only them, kissing on the stage and millions of butterflies flying in their stomachs. The feeling was indescribable, finally being able to do it in front of the fans, but Vic felt even more special because in that moment she knew that Damiano stated his feelings towards her.

It took me a while but the truth is that I would always choose you. He said, leaning his forehead against hers and they both smiled, enjoying each other’s presence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello everyone!

Just a little disclaimer, this one shot is not by any means meant to send hate towards Giorgia or anything like that. It’s also not meant to harass Victoria and Damiano, it’s a pure imagination for all those who like to see some Damoria content.

I hope you enjoyed reading! ❤️

Tag list: [ @teenyweenynightghost , @superchrystaldrug , @unitersmoonshine ]

[mcbride]

TWD S11 Predictions - Carol/Daryl focused

disclaimer: i don't know anything. i have no sources. just my predictions, thoughts and wishful thinking based on filming tracking, intuition, some theories, images from the teaser/promo trailers and more wishful thinking!

solely focused on Carol and Daryl's storylines, cause apparently that's all my heart cares about anymore! as a wise person once said (Espy, my positive fairy! if you're reading this, ilysm), our baes need to be dealing with their own issues and demons, separately, while getting some closure with other people, so they can finally move forward together.

so i don't expect many actual caryl scenes in part 1 of s11, but i fully expect them to keep each other in mind, and even make some decisions based on a future they wanna have together even before they resolve the awkward tension between them atm.

imo the perfect caryl arc in 11a would include a lot of emotional encounters, drama, disappearances, fake deaths, torture, tragedy, dog, closure and make up and make out... after the jump....

it appears that Carol and Daryl will be involved in different missions at the start of the season - he will head out with Maggie's group to search for food when they are caught up in a storm and have to hide out in the subway tunnels; while i presume she stays back to defend and help clean up ASZ or goes on her own mission with Kelly and Magna.

Carol, Kelly and Magna end up stumbling upon Connie's journal, a symbol of hope for all of them. they might even decide to search the area for any more signs of Connie. i really want Carol herself to find Connie and bring her back to Kelly. and not cause Carol is a hero who saved Connie, nooooooo cause Connie can save her own self. she is strong, not a damsel in distress. she went through hell but she made it back. i think we will see Connie and what she has been through, however, i don't believe she will reunite with anyone from team family before the MSF (11x08) or even MSP (11x09). no idea who she and Virgil are running from in the trailer - it could either be a whisperer, a stray reaper or just some crazy random motherf*cker they run into.

while Maggie's group are in the tunnels, dog runs off and Daryl goes to search for him, never making it back to the group for some reason. after the storm is over, Maggie and the group search for Daryl but not having been able to find him (?) they just assume he is gone, possibly dead? i don't know why Maggie would give up so easily searching for family, but it seems like her current MO to just leave people behind.

along the way, Carol and Magna will find common ground and actually become besties cause she desperately needs some female friends. please and thank you. they can bond over the hope to find Connie alive and well, or the fact, both of them are currently in a very awkward position with their boos while having no idea where the heck they are.

Daryl probably got separated from the group while escaping a small herd in the tunnels (cue to Daryl's face covered in blood in the woods) and when he finally finds dog, he comes face to face with a masked reaper formerly known to him as Leah. he is shocked to learn she's part of the group that targeted Maggie. Leah is probably bitter Daryl chose his family instead of her a few years ago cause she has no idea he came back for her... so she and her friends take (willingly or not!) Daryl prisoner... possibly torture him and play mind games to gather information on team family.

in the sdcc trailer, there are some very heartbreaking scenes with Carol (and Aaron?), i cannot wait for it. i know it's gonna make me cry so hard and i've been needing Carol/Aaron friendship for years. at the same time, i expect Carol to also have some badass fighting scenes with her daughter-in-law and new bestie, Lydia, and tia Rosita! YES girl power!! people need Carol and she's totally there for them.

Aaron seems to be in a bad place emotionally (possibly something happened to Gracie, or just the fact they lost a lot of people in the whisperers war!) and Carol will be there to urge him not to make the same mistakes she did. hopefully, these 2 can join forces and come up with a masterplan to defeat the reapers.

Daryl being Daryl who always wants to save people even from themselves, tries to convince Leah to change sides, join team family, or convince her own family to leave his family alone. he's unsuccessful and when Daryl tries to escape, setting the whole place on fire and killing a few men on his way out of the reapers compound, Leah threatens to harm dog. cause why not? she obvi loves nothing or no one! they take Daryl back to another cell, and dog manages to escape.

meanwhile, Maggie's group returns to ASZ, where they tell Carol they believe Daryl is lost or dead. please give me all the angst that comes with Carol thinking she may have lost Daryl forever! she has been pretty committed to the group and rebuilding their home, but i believe her first instinct will be to run, to leave... TO FIND DARYL!!! cause no way in hell would Carol just accept he's gone unless she sees it with her own eyes.

WELL in true 'if you can't beat them, then join them' fashion, after a few brainwashing sessions with Leah, Daryl tells her all about the note (FIND ME) he left for her at the cabin, how he knows he made the wrong decision then, declares his loyalty to her and joins the reapers...

dog arrives at ASZ just as Carol is about to leave to search for Daryl. good boy always comes back home to mama and together they will find and save dada. (bear with me! from now on i'll be totally running wild with my wishful thinking... it will pretty much read like some fanfic plot!)

Daryl keeps trying to fit in with the reapers group, but he's only taking a page from Carol's undercover book - fake it till you make it + destroy them from the inside. what he doesn't know is that Leah and her new/old bf (Pope!?) have been planning an attack on ASZ behind his back. they simply let him know, this is his chance to prove himself to the reapers. he has to go along with the plan (or DIE!), but he hopes to be Alexandrians' inside man, helping them protect their family at all costs (ironically, exactly what Negan did when he joined the whisperers and they attacked Hilltop... just not the same motivation! i guess Carol wasn't so wrong about Negan after all!)

at night, Daryl puts on his reaper costume and they head to ASZ. reapers learned the location of the place by tracking dog. the plan was much bigger and more explosive than Daryl expected, the reapers destroy a big part of ASZ brand new rebuilt wall and set fire to a bunch of houses and the mill before Daryl can even react.

Alexandrians and reapers fight as Daryl sneaks out to lead the kids to safety. he finds Maggie, asks for Carol, and is glad she is out there looking for him, relatively safe, rather than around to fight and watch ASZ fall.

while out looking for Daryl, Carol hears the explosions, sees the fire and she and dog return to ASZ as fast as they can. they are greeted by Leah at what used to be front gate...

i realize this is getting extremely long, so i'll just say that i absolutely don't want Carol to have anything to do with Leah's possible imminent death. i don't want that guilt on her conscience, and i don't want her to feel like Leah is just another person she took from Daryl (like Connie!). i don't even want Leah to die! unless she's trying to hurt or kill Daryl.

somehow i think it would be a good twist, if for a quick second Carol thought Daryl had betrayed them and joined the reapers for Leah. of course, Carol knows better. SHE KNOWS DARYL. he would never, but for a brief panicked moment, it would be good to see her react to that. i can only imagine the pain in her eyes. but she also trusts Daryl with her life.

we have no idea what Leah knows about Carol, but i'd like the pocketknife Daryl regifted to come back. how would Leah react? likely angry to see another woman with something that was hers. i want to believe Daryl would never tell Leah anything about Carol because she is just too important and too personal to share. but maybe Leah can tell there was someone else !? who knows.

i just want it to be completely clear Daryl is done with that part of his past. Daryl is not alone and lost in the woods anymore without his brother Rick and his bestie Carol. ever since Carol brought him back, Daryl has acted like he knows exactly what he wants and he's done playing games. and what he wants is not Leah or Connie. he wants for ALL his family to be safe and happy, and he wants to run away with Carol and see the world. AND i want both Carol and Daryl to feel free to be free and live freely.

as for the make up and make out part... (that's saved for 11b, hopefully!)

team family won, most of the reapers are dead, except for Leah. Daryl (with Carol's nod of approval!) decides to spare her, gives her some supplies and tells her to get lost. at the same time, Eugene arrives with the troopers from CommonWealth to help with the whisperer war. WHOOPS. 2 wars, 2 late, bruh! but the group leaves to join the good people at CW.

Carol and Daryl have a very long conversation about everything that happened and what they have been feeling. Daryl telling her exactly why he was so mad at her (she kept leaving, can't commit!), her actions (almost getting herself killed!) since Henry's death and how he needs her in his life. no matter how she sees herself or whether she thinks she's worthy or not, he just wants her to be there next to him for whatever is to come.

plus Carol realizing she needed to get closer and let people in without fear, not give up hope and actually fight for a better future for herself. and finally, admitting to Daryl that it was horrible to think he might've been gone forever, promising to never make him feel the way she felt. basically, a promise to never ever leave him again (cue to making out!)

[accio-victuuri]

The GG & Li-Ning & Xianjiang Cotton Situation

I was asked to give my opinion. This is also for other bxgs who may have the same sentiment. You don’t have to agree with me but i hope you respect whatever it is I choose to share here. This is my blog and my space. I maintain this out of my pure enjoyment of the fandom and all the good it has given me. So let me address some of the points.

Li-Ning boasts their use of XinJiang Cotton

My simple answer here is, of course they will. This is not something new. Li-Ning is a celebrated olympic medal winning gymnast. A billionaire. You don’t get to that place in CHN w/out supporting the government’s agenda. In this case, that there is no injustice and persecution going on in Xinjiang. This brand, boasting about China made cotton, in their terms, shows patriotism and support for their country. This brand’s literal goal at first was to provide a local brand for Chinese athletes to wear in the Olympics. This is also not the first time that Li-Ning had been called out along w/ other international brands due to questionable ethical practices.

I find it very hard to believe that the timing of GG’s massive Li-Ning ad campaign, coinciding as it has with these Western brand boycotts, was a coincidence.

Let’s get this out of the way. Whether the boycott happened or not, Li-Ning is guaranteed an insane amount of sales because they hired Xiao Zhan. This is the same man who always sells out products in seconds. Who took KXZ to 200% growth and so on. I can talk about stats all day but this massive campaign for him is a no brainer. GG is expensive and a guaranteed success. Any brand who hires him will be stupid to not launch an all out campaign across all cities. Li-Ning knows what they are doing by hiring him. For years, they have been trying to appeal to Gen Z. Especially now that youth in CHN are more and more into the “guochao” (国潮) - National trend. Integrating traditional chinese culture and fashion w/ domestic brands. This ties in with the whole movement of erasing the connotation that made in china is of inferior quality. GG was a good choice. He appeals to the younger generation (19-25) and the working class ( 26 and up ) who buys goods. I would imagine even GG’s team did their research and knows this trend is going on too. This will not be the last you will see of this type of endorsement from him or Web. The rumors on this collaboration was going around as early as, March 15 I think? I was literally asking another bxg if GG’s ad will be pushed back a day or two because of what was happening. or what will this all implies. He was always gonna come out and endorse this brand boycott or not.

I am not removing the possibility that these local brands have a hand in the boycott. It’s a very valid concern. or that, it was a convenient perfect storm for them. A perfect storm of EU, US & CAN sanctioning CHN. The sudden attack on brands’ statements against Xinjiang cotton from a year ago. The whole agenda of controlling the people’s view on what is happening. All of these are connected. sure. There are many things behind the scenes that we will not know but we can make an educated guess of. Li-Ning is not the only domestic brand that had a positive push because of this.

On 3/25 Li-Ning’s stock closed with a high of 10.74% , plus an added 9% on the 26th when GG was announced as ambassador. The same thing happened with Anta and others.

I find it very hard to stomach seeing Li-Ning ads on my dash, regardless of GG’s presence in them. Without condemning him for taking this endorsement deal, and without judging what he is or is not personally aware

I will just be addressing GG’s alleged part in all this. I say that cause we don’t live in his brain and won’t know what he’s thinking. You can all try and project your values on him but he is a whole person of his own. I have hopefully given some view on why GG accepted to endorse this brand in the previous point. GG has spent most if not all, of his life in China. He has repeatedly said that he was brought up traditionally. Tho his father was very encouraging in him participating in the arts and widening his knowledge. He had Foreign professors at CBTU. He is part of the generation that knows what’s going on outside by using the internet. He’s smart. I would guess that he is aware of the country he is living in vs what it’s like outside of it. But at the end of the day, his loyalty will always be with his country. I hate to break it to you all but he will continue to live and thrive as an Actor even without international support. Tho it is great that he is a source of National Pride with how people outside of China love him.

Now, about his support for Xianjiang Cotton. I wanna start by showing this:

It’s a post from People’s Daily wb which boasts all the c-ent top stars that voiced their support of XJ cotton. The sense is, hey people look at your idols supporting the cause. Look at their Patriotism. What do you think will happen if GG was not on this list? Knowing that he is a top star in CHN. Knowing he was just in hot waters post 22*? Knowing that he is actively being endorsed in CCTV which is a National Channel. Are we still surprised that he posted that support? I was just honestly waiting for him to post if anything. I talked before about how C-ent celebrities are expected ( and actually it’s in their law ) to be more morally upright than the lay people. This is prime example of that.

Another one is this from CCTV Wb. I’m including this for you all to have an understanding of how this whole thing is being played out in CHN. This is the type of online narrative that is going around and I would think GG is seeing. The sentiment is,

“No matter what hardships, ups and downs and blows go through in our country, her people will always come from all directions and stand up to speak justice and do just things.”

It’s also showing all the hot searches that is related in support of XJ cotton and defending CHN’s innocence.

Also this video that was heavily circulated showing mechanized picking of cotton vs the allegations of manual.

This is the kind of narrative that is going around, as expected. I don’t really fault GG or condemn him for doing what is best for him. What is the best for an individual does not always mean it’s the best for all. In talks like this, I always try and put myself in their position. I mean, who the hell are these people trying to attack my country? the country that has provided for me. I wanna say I understand where they are coming from but understanding does not mean agreeing. I see these A LOT. ALOT ON WEIBO. The China vs. Everyone story. It’s the notion of, they are attacking us and we must protect the country. Also keep in mind that news is heavily regulated.

You know what type of news the CCP would love for them to get a hold of? The rising attacks on Asians in the US. Oh boy they would fuckin love that! Making America the big/bad asian-hating boogeyman in the eyes of their people yet again.

Okay, now we’re down to the final part of this. Why do I share the promo pics for Li-Ning. Where do i draw the line.

To me it’s simple. It had GG in it. I was waiting for this to come out, and tbh, would you all even know about this brand’s practices if the boycott didn’t happen? No. This is a bjyx blog where i share things about them. That includes ad, dramas, pictures and videos. I understand if people don’t feel comfortable w/ Li-Ning ads and others, so just don’t like those posts. Did I buy anything from the collection? No. Did I buy multiple copies Web’s single Youth in Times ( like i do with his other singles )? No. That’s where I draw the line in this. I know we’re all gonna be put on a tight spot again once Faith Makes Great comes out. Once I saw that leaked pic, Ooohhh! I just know. Also if BAH adds some propaganda about CHN’s war on drugs. I am just waiting. I am ready. I know what my values are. I will not allow other people to dictate who I am. I know what type of content I’m only gonna be sharing.

I see this very forceful air of asking bxgs to take a stand on this ( always bxg, never the other side. always us of course even if we are the minority) and it really puts me off. I read someone say that they will not say anything because they don’t owe strangers on the internet an explanation. Which is true. I have separate spaces that I share my views on world/local issues. Accounts that show my actual name and around people I know in real life. That’s what I choose to do for myself. I started this blog for myself and i still find it very bizarre that people follow this account. I am not some sort of KOL, let’s get that straight. This is just a blog where I talk about things if i want to and SCREAM about GG and Web too much. I will probably not answer any follow up questions on this cause i feel like I have addressed a good chunk of it.

Just know that whatever I post on here in support of GG and his projects does not equate to my entire political/moral stand regarding this event or any. It’s really good that we have conversations like this cause it’s an important one.

Whew! That was a long post! 😅

[wordynerdygurl]

Skin Deep - Part 6

Author’s Note:  Honestly, this story is nearing it’s ending.  Hard to believe that a little idea I couldn’t shake has now grown into this mini-series!  For all my die-hard homies, waiting for the next installment, I hope this is worth your while!  If you’re new here, take a look around, see if you like anything and please, let the management know if you have any questions!! As always, writing like this requires the emotional support of people and pets.  My dogs, Murphy and Winston, get me through a lot of plot bunnies just by being stalwart companions.  My husband, graciously, lets me take these flights of fancy when I probably should be paying better attention to him and his day... and some of my besties here on Tumblr make it possible for me to do this for you guys.  @sammy-jo1977​ , my sister from another mister!  Couldn’t/ Wouldn’t do it without you! To all the folks who follow me... My Minxes!  Love you all!  Stay well, be kind, and remember that Love, really does conquer all!  If you want to be a Minx, send me a note, I’ll happily add you to my tag list! Lastly, be sure to like and share anything that you see on Tumblr that catches your eye.  Creative types, we need the constant validation, you see?  Without it, like an unwatered plant, we wither on the vine and perish!  Be kind to those who help you through the day and reblog! Skin Deep Part 5 - click here for the previous chapter! Pairing:  Loki x Reader, Steve, Valkyrie & Thor all make appearances Summary:  Continued from Part 5, You and Loki put your plan into action, returning to Farmhouse.  When you encounter Steve again, you learn there’s more than two sides to this story. Warnings:  Loki’s POV and perspective, including mentions of his time under Thanos.  I’m re-writing MCU history here, but some of the main beats are the same, so look out for SPOILERS for Dark World, Ragnarok, and a touch of Infinity War.  The SNAP never happened because, reasons.  

Empathy used to seem such a human emotion.  Loki had no time for that on Asgard, not when Odin denied anything as frivolous as feeling.  Hiding in plain sight was the means to survival and if that made the young prince sneaky and sly, so be it.  By placing those parts of himself under lock and key; the parts that hurt, the ones that ached, Loki found it was safer to disconnect from others than subject himself to their suffering too.

Operating under the influence of Thanos and his minions when he held the scepter, Loki had purposefully divorced connection of any kind from his mind.  It was dangerous.  Weak.  And moreover, it allowed Loki to do what Thanos commanded without really experiencing the horror, the havoc, of his actions for himself. 

  Who could hear the screams of women when the voice of Ebony Maw subliminally chanted all the ways that one could be dismembered at Thanos’ hands should Loki fail?  What man would shed a tear after the near constant beatings doled out by Black Order members, just for the fun of it?  How could someone care about a house, a car, a city, when they no longer cared about themself? Losing the Battle for New York had consequences far beyond the destruction of property.  With Thanos’ hold over him vanquished, the walls around his heart, constructed in youth, crashed and burned like the dream of ruling Earth.  Suddenly and completely out of reserves, Loki was powerless.  And he felt everything.  The fresh hurts caused by his manipulated ambitions in the hands of Thanos. The furious feelings of his brother, the inadequacies of his character, the feeble needs that drove his wild ambition washed over him unceasingly.  Anger.  Loss.  Lunacy.  Loki learned a hard truth in that moment.  He was a monster.  A freak.  A creature beyond hope and salvation; proving his adoptive father right and his own hopeful heart wrong.  Bitterness soured the fallen prince. Endless hours in isolation on Earth, which continued in his father's house, had Loki believing he had no chance of seeing the world outside again, and it hardened his heart further.  To feel was so painful, so raw, and so humane.  Why bother anyway?  All that emoting, those high spirits, all they really did was expose you to derision.  What was grief to a goblin?  What was horror to a monster?  What was love to a villain like him?  An evil, conspiring demi-god, with a mind bent toward domination.  A damaged, destroyed, deity alone and in pieces.  Who would ever give someone like Loki Odinson a chance?  Why should they?

Turning to his mother, Loki did everything but ask for forgiveness.  In long rambling talks, her projection to his jailed person, the pair talked around ideas of guilt and innocence, of fate and fortune, of destiny versus desire, yet Loki never heard the words he needed in order to truly find peace.   

If Frigga was aware of her son’s need for absolution, Loki would never know, as their last exchange was harsh and full of anger.  Another stroke of loss, crippling now, because there was nothing Loki could do to change any of it from inside his prison cell.  No illusion could conceal the painful ache that consumed him entirely. 

Those days were dark, even for a soul as dusky hued as his own, and Loki’s thoughts followed a similar path.  If there had been a way for him to shake off this immortal coil, free himself of the burden of living, Loki would have done so and been glad.  Death was welcome compared to all this longing and heartache. But life, even a nearly immortal one, was funny. 

When Thor provided a chance at redemption, Loki snatched at it, in his own detached way.  He played hero, rescuing Jane, aiding his brother.  And if he took a bit more in the form of deposing his arrogant, aging father, who would be surprised?  He was Loki, God of Mischief, after all. Ruling the Nine Realms without the oppressive oversight of his father allowed Loki to prove himself in ways he never imagined.  And Loki wasn’t just good at it.  He was great. Of course, it helped that no one knew he was Loki.  Living disguised as Odin was often unpleasant, frequently frustrating, but entirely necessary.  Being Loki was still too difficult and likely to bring unwanted attention in the form of The God of Thunder, a thing that no one truly wanted, Loki least of all. Return Thor did, along with an unknown sister and the end of Asgard.  When confronted with the insanity of Hela’s bloodlust, Loki’s only thought was of his kingdom, now without a ruler.  He had worked too hard, too long, to see the land he cared for in the hands of an enemy, even if she called herself sister.  Opening the Bi-Frost, panicked, his mind was solely on saving those he had recently held dominion over.  They were his people, after all.  But he never reached Asgard. Swallowing his fear, Loki focused all his energy on staying alive in a new and distracting environment, initially.  What Loki found on Sakaar wasn't a new home base under a flamboyant, ineffective leader that he could control, even if that was his first design.  On Sakaar Loki found his loyalty.  

The proud, deep resonance of being Asgardian, of being an Odinson, of being capable and cool under pressure.  Sure, he had to prove himself to Thor, Valkyrie, Banner and honestly, the rest of the kingdom, but actions speak louder than words.  And through his actions on Sakkar, and by extension rescuing the people of Asgard, Loki had shown everybody his true mettle. It was on the deck of a stolen ship headed for Midgard that  Loki had made a commitment of sorts.  One that was not to the people, so recently saved or for his found family.  This time, the promise Loki intended to keep was for himself.  Loki was going to change. The problem is, a task like that takes time.  Patience.  Motivation.  It was something that Loki had to work at and it was exhausting. They say that the best things come to those who wait.  Loki was learning to wait everyday.  Having earned a place at the side of his brother, he worked tirelessly to win over the heroes of his new home planet.  Was it easy?  Hardly, but Loki wasn’t willing to compromise.  Not anymore. A life like Hela’s was not in his runes.  Loki was simply going to be better.  Not perfect.  No one could be as good hearted as Captain America, nor could one be as tech savvy as Stark.  So Loki was planning on being the best Loki he could possibly be, and that’s how he found himself going to meetings at The Avengers Tower, a mostly welcome addition to the team. Meetings weren’t all that exciting and boredom was an awful temptation for a deity devoted to mayhem.  In fact, Loki spent more time doodling in his notebook than listening to whoever was droning on about whatever part of the world needed the attention of this motley crew.  That was, until Pepper Potts hired her new assistant.  That you were polite, pretty and pert wasn’t lost on the young god.  Sitting outside Mrs. Iron Man’s office, typing away with a phone tucked under your ear, moving faster than anyone he had ever seen was certainly impressive.  You were quick witted, clever and most of all, funny. Everyone else seemed to fall under your spell without much effort on your part, something that Loki found frustratingly fascinating.  Here he was, struggling to get people to say his name without having a traumatic flashback, while you simply smiled and smarted off prettily, and had everyone singing your praises.  But Norns, were you adorable. If he thought about it, and while off planet, Loki definitely had, he could remember the moment he realized that you were the woman he wanted.  You were busy, as always, fielding phone calls and flipping through screens yet every moment your flying fingers weren’t hovering over a keyboard or pushing down telephone buttons they curled around a heart shaped charm at your throat.  Clearly, it was a habit and one that you weren’t even aware of, still - it transfixed him all the same.  Watching you from his side eye, your voice never wavering, your tone always so pleasing, and your nimble digits returning again and again to the small sigil around your neck.  “Loki?” “Huh?”  Dumbfounded at your call, those deep sea eyes blinked wildly at the sound of his name on your lips. “Hi!  Yes, Pepper can see you now.  Go ahead, she’s ready!” He rose on stiff legs, adjusting his tie, about to lie to Tony Stark’s woman all for the chance to see you in passing.  Who had he become? It started out innocent like that, but soon, Loki was having to invent excuses for being in the office so frequently.  Missing files, random visits, even going so far as to buy Tony coffee just for the thrill of seeing you.  Something needed to change, and quickly, or Loki was going to blow. On another made up errand, hanging around the executive’s high rise office, Loki was doing a bad job of pretending not to see you.  His mind was on your pouty lips as you sipped lemonade through a straw and not on the stately woman seated behind the desk. 

“Loki, you’re a man of some… style.”  Pepper said it so casually that he almost didn’t hear, his head lost in thoughts that would shame any other person. “I like to think so.”

Shutting her folder with a snap, Pepper smiled, “And you’d love to help your old friend Pepper out, right?” That got his attention, and quickly.  Loki, shoving his hands in his pockets, turned to face Pepper with a widening grin, “I feel like I’m being baited.”

“Baited?  Never!  It’s just, you’re always here and I have a… project that needs the kind of help that you can provide.”  At those words you entered the office, ready for action with a notebook and pen, eager and excited. Suddenly, it was all clear to Loki, “Pepper, no.”  

The noose closed in on the handsome god as Pepper gathered paperwork without looking his way, “Come on, it’s the Stark Homecoming Gala and the two of you will do great!  I have faith in you both.  I can’t wait to see what you come up with!” “Really, Miss Potts, I simply can’t-” Stopping short, the strawberry blonde whipped around, almost nose to nose with Loki.  Shrewd and straightforward, Pepper interrupted, saying, “You’ve been dancing around my office for weeks now.  Clearly you like her and… against all the odds, she likes you too.  I’m doing you a favor and when someone does you a favor, you say “Thank You”.” “Thank you.” Nodding curtly, “You’re welcome.  Now, make yourselves comfortable, order some dinner, my treat.  And do whatever you need to make sure this is one great party!” That’s how Loki found himself sitting at a clear glass table over sweating bottles of iced tea as you discussed color themes and tablecloths.  You were shy, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you reviewed notes from previous gatherings both large and small.  His hands itched with wanting to do that job himself. “So, what do you think?”  It was the first time you had addressed him directly since coming through the door and for a moment Loki couldn’t answer.  You were too… not beautiful, that wasn’t the right word, although you were.  No, you were too open, too easy to read, and the earnestness you offered him was downright frightening. Sitting forward in the uncomfortable, yet fashionable, office furniture, Loki cleared his throat and again tugged his tie, “What I think is that you should let me take you dinner.” Dropping your eyes, your cheeks colored slightly as your fingers found that locket charm once more, “Loki, I… I don’t know-” Grabbing for your hand, suddenly afraid that you would take those shining eyes away, Loki lowered his voice and did something he never thought he would.  He begged.  “Please?  I find that you’re all I can think about.” It rushed out of him in a torrent, the way truth so often does, and he found himself unable to look you in the eye.  Loki was afraid to see rejection on your easy to read face, afraid that wanting you had cracked open the lock box holding his heart, afraid that you would see just how weak you made him.  Your fingers twined with his own as you replied, “You didn’t let me finish.  I don’t know what took you so long.” Sighing with relief, his face melting into a genuine smile, “Me either.” Over the next two months the pair of you worked tirelessly to plan and execute a perfect party.  You were inseparable during the day, heads buried together as you discussed linens and table settings, the quality of cocktail glasses, and debating over a band or a dj.  But at night, at night Loki talked about the things that haunted him in the dark.  And you loved him in spite of the awful things he had seen and done and said. Others took notice.  Loki was more lighthearted, more available.  He listened when people spoke and wasn’t constantly doodling during meetings.   Yes, Loki was learning how to love through your loving him.  If empathy had seemed too humane before, then sharing his life, his love with you, was the kind of immortality that earned someone a place in Valhalla.  It was the bravest thing Loki Odinson had ever done and he didn’t mind one bit.

The first time Loki tasted you was burned into his brain, as bright as a flash of lightning.  A firefly in a memory jar that he kept returning to, time and again.  Loki remembered what you were wearing.  He recalled exactly how the light shone in your eyes.  If he concentrated, he could tap out the rhythm of your racing pulse as he held you in his arms. It was the night of the gala.  Inviting everyone under the Stark Industries banner, up to and including the heroes tasked with saving the world, the event was a way to earn money for one of the many charities Tony supported.  The place was full of beautiful people wearing gorgeous clothes under perfect lights set to the hand crafted soundtrack you had created together.

But, Norns, he could still remember the way your eyes sparkled under the lowlights of that hall.  How your dress, simple but sophisticated, clung to the fullness of your bottom.  Low cut but somehow still modest, Loki couldn’t tear his gaze away from the promise of your curves, willing himself to find anything else as interesting as the idea of you.  

You were across the room hanging onto Tony’s every word, eyes bright and cheerfully glowing as you sipped champagne.  It made Loki want to do something grand, something suave, something that would demand your attention for his own.  Moving towards you, his tuxedo perfectly pressed and fitting better than it had any right to, Loki looked long and lean.  Each of his steps seemed to echo, even though the room was full of sound, and you turned your head as if you also heard.  Breaking away from the cluster of acolytes surrounding Iron Man, you bit into your lip as the crowd parted, moving closer together one step at a time.  It was one of the sexiest things Loki had ever witnessed. Lifting your glass in a toast, taking in the room of mingling millionaires, wealthy hangers on and Avengers, “Well, we did it!” “You did it, my dove, I just hung around and judged everyone.” “Oh stop.  I couldn’t have done it without you and you know it.”  Playfully you pushed against his shoulder and Loki took advantage, using your momentum to pull you to his side, your curvy figure flush against his own. Crooning into the shell of your ear, his lips brushing over that sensitive skin, “Somehow, love, I think you would have managed.”  Before you had time to think, Loki had melded his mouth with your own, stealing your breath along with your heart.  Loki’s feet moved in time with the music as he pulled into a dance, laughing in his arms, your cheeks hot and your head swimming. You laughing was, without question, Loki’s favorite sound.  Nothing in this world or any other came close to matching the joyful, childlike glee of that enchanting noise.  Loki memorized its melody, the rise and fall of your giggle.  He had craved it, being away for so long, and now he wanted… no, needed to hear it.  But you were the furthest thing from happy at the moment.   

"Darling, please.  We have to go."  Loki tapped his watch, shaking himself free from the memories of your previous life together and barely suppressing his irritation.

Tears filled your eyes as you whipped your arms around Thor’s mighty shoulders, his deep voice grumbly with emotion, "Take care of him, would you?  He's a jerk, but Loki is the only brother I have."

"Of course… always.  And Valkyrie, your highness, I can’t thank you enough for-"

"No need.  Loki, and by extension yourself, will always have a safe haven here in my palace."

Looking on, Loki and Thor embraced almost tenderly before crashing their heads together.  

"Stay safe, little brother."

"Be good, Thor."

Eyes on the sky, Val ignored the show of masculine emotion, chastising your plan, "You’re going to start a war, Loki."

Straight backed, Loki turned to the king, "Not on the grass of New Asgard.  I will take the fight to them, that is my vow to you."

As Loki offered his hand, Valkyrie shook it, with parting words, "Work on staying alive.  You have a tendency to worry your brother."

Solemnly nodding, "As the king commands.  Shall we?"  With that Loki laced his fingers with yours, leading you a few paces away from the people who loved him most, before summoning the magic that had you both transcending space and time.

This time when your feet touched down it was on the familiar turf of the orchard, surrounded by the scent of apple blossoms and the buzzing of happy bees.  Morning had broken and the world seemed full of promise, with the exception of that knot in your stomach.

"Are you ready?  Darling?"

"Oh… yes.  I mean, I still don't love this plan, but-"

"But it's going to work."  Only it was no longer the baritone voice of your long, lean Loki speaking.  In his place stood Nick Fury, leather duster and eye patch in place.

"If you say so!"  And you clutched your own throat as Natasha’s bored tones came out of your mouth.  The suit, skin tight but flexible, molded to your modified form.  All in all, you were comfortable, "The boots are a bit much."

"Ya think?  This jacket weighs a ton."  Pulling at his collar, "Why does he wear a turtleneck anyway?"

"Loki, this is so weird.  It feels so weird."

"Agreed, but then, why am I so turned on?"

Laughing, you shook your false red hair, hands resting on Natasha’s waist, "God, I've missed you."

"Same, dearest.  Now… let's get your necklace and some answers!"

---

 Convincing Bucky to head home had taken a lot of work, but sometime around 2 am Steve had finally seen his friend off.  The house was empty.  Steve felt the same way.

Turning the black velvet box in his pocket, fingers crushed against the fragile fabric, Steve struggled to feel anger.  When that didn't materialize he shot for sadness but even tears seemed beyond his ability.  

With a sigh, climbing the same stairs he had trudged up a hundred times before, Steve started going through the motions of bedtime.  Only tonight you weren’t there to tease him about the wildly inappropriate amount of toothpaste on his brush.  He didn’t have your light footsteps to follow to the bedside or your help with stacking all of your extra, yet entirely essential, pillows on the chair.

Someone must have changed the sheets, he thought.  There was no evidence of you and Loki’s adventurous afternoon anymore.  Steve made a mental note to thank Buck for that little piece of kindness in the morning.

Shucking his shirt, Steve sat on the mattress, a hand to his forehead.  He had lost.  Captain America had been bested.  Beaten.  And by Loki, no less.

Moonlight in silver slivers shone through the window panes, squares of light in the deep of night.  Steve was alone.  Utterly and totally alone.

And there was no one to blame but himself.

Sighing hard, Steve stood, pacing the floor to work off some of the unspendable anxiety he kept creating.  The room still had your energy, your vibe, as you liked to call it, and the feeling was a prickling itch Steve couldn’t quite satisfy.  Traces of you were everywhere and something about you leaving all of it, and him, behind was just too big to process. “Damn it.”  Even whispering sounded like thunder in the silence of your recently vacated room.  His hands, so big, so strong, smoothed along the fabric of your hanging clothes.  All that power had done nothing to help Steve get the thing he wanted. Sorting through the baubles and trinkets on your dresser, bottles of perfume he had purchased, necklaces and pins, each with a moment of memory it hurt him to recall.  Your watch ticked away the minutes as he stood, stoic and still, surrounded by the shadow of you.  In the orchard the birds were waking, their song filling the air, as morning broke in low golden rays.  Abandoning his plan for sleep, Steve watched as the light chased away the dark, casting rainbows on the floor.  The sun was reflecting off of your Grandmother’s necklace.  A pretty, ancient, carved cameo,  heart shaped locket.  He recalled his own mother owning one just like it, pictures of loved ones pressed inside, holding them as tight as history would allow. Fisting the filigree chain, winding it around his fingers as if it would somehow undo what he had done, Steve slipped it into his pocket before settling back onto the bed.  ----

At the back door to the home you so recently shared with Steve, Loki hung back, “I think this is where we split up.  You go find your treasure and me… I’m going to find some answers.” Nodding, Natasha’s signature red hair swinging, you squeezed the hand holding your own.  It no longer looked like Loki’s long fingered paw, but that was only a skin deep change.  You felt the undeniable essence of him in the press of his fingers against your own. “Be careful.” “That’s no fun, dove.” “Loki-”  You hated the way your voice broke as you said it, but there just seemed to be so much at stake and you had already lost him once. Sensing your unspoken concerns, Loki flashed you Nick Fury’s best smile, “I will.  I promise.”

“Ten minutes.” “Ten minutes.”  You watched the black coated back of your charmed paramour as he opened the shed door, hoping that he’d find something worth knowing in that place out of sight.  Inhaling deeply you twisted the doorknob as quietly as possible, letting yourself into what was once your kitchen, “What a mess.”  It was impossible not to notice the unwrapped leftovers and empty bottles littering the table.  An overturned trash barrel, crumpled beer cans littering the counter, things that Steve, your Steve, would never have tolerated.  All evidence that the grand evening he’d envisioned had been thwarted by Loki’s arrival and your collective escape.  

You started up the stairs, praising Natasha's footwear for its stealth, when you heard the toilet flush and the unmistakable shuffle of Steve’s feet on the carpet.  There was no place to hide on the wide stairwell.  It was time to see if Loki's plan was going to work.

Voice blurry, eyes rubbed red and raw, you couldn't deny that Steve looked like shit, “Bucky?  That you?  You back?”  Steve’s voice bounced around the brightening room as morning sunlight filtered through the soft sheers you had picked out for exactly this reason. Panicked, you backed into the railing with an over loud “Oof!” “Nat?  What are you doing here?  I thought you and Fury were headed to New Asgard?”  Suddenly wide awake and wondering, Steve rushed to your costumed side, eager for information. The man in front of you now bore little resemblance to the angry Avenger you had escaped from hours before.  This man had hair sticking up in odd angles from near constant finger raking.  This man had a hint of a stuffy nose and red rimmed eyes, all indicators that tears had been shed.  Now those blue eyes were scrutinizing you closely, full of concern.

“Uh… We... We got intel.  Yea, intelligence, that Loki was headed back this way.  Turned around… and uh, here we are.” One of those sandy blonde eyebrows lifted, “Natasha?”

Squaring your shoulders, channeling that cool confidence you’d see Black Widow display over and over, “Steve?”  Something about your tone of voice convinced him in a way your words couldn’t.  He visibly relaxed, those broad shoulders going slack as he asked, “Didn’t make it to Norway, then?"

Nodding a negative, you felt the unfamiliar brush of her red hair at your cheek and had to fight the urge to tuck it away, “No.  Loki’s using some sort of transporting power to move them around.  Fury suggested I keep an eye out here, in case they come back this way.” “She won’t be back, Nat.  There’s nothing for her here.”  To you, Steve sounded so sad, so removed, that you had to will yourself not to comfort the giant before you.  “That’s not true!”  It came out of you forcefully, thoughtlessly, and you saw the shock register on the Captain’s face. “That is, Fury and I… we… have reason to believe that she will come back.  They left with nothing, Steve.  She’ll need clothes… maybe some shoes… and-”  Swallowing hard, you didn’t want to give anything away, “-a necklace from her grandmother.” Steve, patting his pocket, felt the weighted chain and it’s heart shaped locket, “I don’t think-” Stepping up to his bulky form, suddenly aggressive, you started, “Never mind what you think, Captain.  We're here for a necklace...  the necklace.  Our intel suggests that your former flame might return for it and… And, I want it, with me, as a means to subdue her when she arrives." Sounding forceful and official was enough to back Steve down.  Just a touch deflated, you watched him shrug, “If that’s what you want, Nat, here-”  From his pants he pulled out the shining bauble, a trinket really, but full of sentiment and memory. Sitting in his palm, the tiny heart that held the picture of your grandmother and mother looked so small, almost unreal.  Reaching for it with wet eyes, you smiled at Steve as you lifted the charm and chain, “Thank you, Steve.  Thank you.” Nodding deeply, that golden head bobbing, “You’re welcome.”  The large grandfather clock could be heard ticking throughout the house.  The sun was gaining on the day and you, dressed as Natasha stood in silence in front of a somber Steve.  For another long beat nothing was said, then, as if sensing a shift in your conversation, Steve flashed your fake Natasha a weak smile, “I could use some breakfast.  How about you?”

“Um… sure.  Yea, ok.  Breakfast.” 

Steve started moving again, downstairs towards the cluttered kitchen when he paused, "So how did you get back so fast?  Cause that's like a 7 hour flight, even with you in the cockpit." “Steve…”  You could hear it, the whining almost pleading tone that signaled the end of Loki’s well planned charade.  That wasn’t enough to stop Steve.  He broke hard, one of those strong arms stopping you in your tracks before you could reach the lower level. “It’s clever, I have to give you guys that.  Almost perfect, really.” Panic rising, you doubled down on the ruse, struggling to keep your voice even, “I don’t know-”  Blocking you in, his body the perfect unmovable buffer, “Loki’s here too, isn’t he?” Pushing against “Steve, I… I don’t…” “Don’t lie.  You don’t have to…” “But… how-?” “You’re not mean enough to play Natasha, doll.  Not by a long shot.”

--- It was strange to be seated at the table and chairs that you and Steve had picked out together one sunny Saturday when you thought that your future was going to be Loki-less.  Your place, the one that you had imagined filling with children that had golden hair and bright blue eyes, felt like a set.  Something false and fake.  A facade, put together simply for show. Steve must have felt it too because his fingers drummed against the white washed table incessantly.  Clearly he had something on his mind.  “Steve-” “No.  No.  Please, let me just get this out, ok?” Raising an eyebrow, you waved at him to continue, nervous but interested in what the super soldier needed to explain. With a shaky inhale, running his constantly moving fingers through his golden locks, Steve caught your eye and didn’t waiver.  “When I saw you… No, that’s not right.  Let me start at the beginning. “When Loki left Earth, you… you were so sad.  It hurt me to see you so… deflated.” “Steve, I-” “You know it’s true.  When he returned to Asgard, something in you, it dimmed, and I just couldn’t allow that… Not when I felt the way I did about you. “I don’t think you realize just how incredible you are… how full of life!  And since I had already missed one chance to be with you, I knew I needed to prove that I could be the man you needed… If you forgot about Loki along the way, even better. “Only… you never did.  I waited years for you, ya know, doll?  Years.  And just when I thought there was no chance with you, Nat gave me a reason to hope. “She was your friend.  An ally.  Someone you could trust… someone I could trust.  I swear it started out that innocently, at least for me.  I just wanted to make you smile again.  But she had other plans.  Plans that came from higher up the ladder of SHIELD. “Fury, he wanted us to watch you… something about Loki being too powerful.  And-”, grabbing your hand tightly, Steve emphasized his point, “-I promise you that I had no idea about his success, or the messages he had sent to you through Nick.  Like you, I thought that Loki was gone.  Missing.  Never coming back.” “I… I believe you Steve.  I know that you didn’t do all this on your own… but what was Nick hoping you’d find out?  I knew less than nothing about what was going on!” “I think he was worried that Loki would get to you first.  That if… when Loki returned, you would be his first stop.  Then you would know about Loki’s success and, frankly, Fury’s failures.  You would also know… well, everything you know now.  That Fury had you tailed, lied to, and led on in an effort to stop Loki from out flanking him.” Frenzied and frantic, you felt anger boiling up inside of you, “But I thought Loki was gone forever.  There was no hope for him and I… and Natasha, she told me that he was dead.” “All a part of Fury’s plan to keep you neutralized and Loki away.  If Loki thought that you’d ignored his letters, that you no longer loved him, why would he come back here?  And, if that didn’t work… when Loki came back and you were with me, what else could keep him on Earth?”

Whispering with realization, “So, they used you too.” Steve sighed and buried his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt, “Don’t feel bad for me.  I let them use my love for you, let them twist it up and shape it as they needed.  Honestly, I wish I could tell you that it was for you, but it wasn’t.  It was for me.  I wanted you, so, so badly.  I didn’t care what strings were attached.  And we built a life together, you and me.  I thought I could outrun the reality of the constant monitoring and daily reports.  Telling Natasha and Nick about every word and each email.  Don’t you see, I love you… and I wanted you, however I could get you.” Shaking your head, Natasha’s red wisps flying, “That’s not love, Steve.  I don’t know what that is… but love isn’t it.” “No?”  With a loud thunk, Steve slammed a small velvet box on the table between you. “Is… Is that what I think it is?”

“Last night.  It was going to happen last night.  Our friends here, under the lights and the stars, I was going to ask you to marry me.  I still would if-” Realization hit you like a ton of bricks, “If Loki hadn’t stepped back into our lives.” “-If Loki hadn’t stepped back into your life.” It made you both laugh in a sad way, how you finished the same thought, and for a fleeting second you could see why you had allowed Captain America to sweep you off your feet.  He was a lot of things to you now, but there was a time when he had been almost everything.  The evidence of that was in the small black square that said nothing but spoke volumes. “Steve, I don’t know if I would have said yes… even without Loki’s… arrival.  I think I have always known that you and I… we are very different people.” Sitting back in his chair, his gaze still locked on your own, “I just want you to know that I’m sorry.  I’m sorry about what I’ve done… what I’ve said… How, shit, how I’ve behaved.  I could say that it was my duty.  I could tell you it was out of love, but the plain truth is that I have always been jealous of what you and Loki share.” “You’ll find it Steve.  You really will.  There’s a person out there waiting for you.  And once you’ve found them, oh Steve, you’ll see that this… what we had, it’s a shadow.  An illusion.  Because love, real love, doesn’t come with caveats and catches.  It is an undeniable force which, in my case, even the boundaries of time and space can not deny.” Something like a sob burst out of Steve, and you were surprised to see tears in his eyes, “I was so wrong.  Could you ever forgive me?” “I want to, Steve.  I really do... “  What more could you say?  Patting his hand you started to rise, “I have to go now.  Loki and I need to keep moving and I don’t want to risk running into Nick and Natasha.  At least, not yet, anyway.” “Where are you planning to go?” “To the Avenger’s Tower.  I believe I know what Mr. Fury has been planning all along.”  Loki’s strong voice entered the conversation as smoothly as his arms wrapped possessively around your waist. Steve took in the protective stance of your returned lover with a raised eyebrow, and without further comment asked Loki, “Really?  And how are you going to breach the building?  They’ll be looking for you, even with disguises…  Fury is no fool.  Plus, there’s little chance that Tony hasn’t activated a million safety and security protocols by now.” Only interested in you, Loki refused to give Steve any of his attention, “Getting in can’t be that hard!  I’ll figure it out when I get there.  Ready pet?” With a gentle push under his broad hands your feet started to move towards the door.  Loki was eager to be off and away, especially after hearing so much of Roger’s confession.  Just knowing what Steve had done, manipulating you while also convinced of his love for you;  it was enough for Loki to commit murder.  He was having quite a difficult time not tearing the good Captain’s limbs off his body. Softening his tone, Steve practically pleaded, “Loki.  Wait.  I… I can help.” Turning his attention fully to your former flame, Loki purred venomously, “You can help?  I’d love to know what entails, Captain.” “I can get you into the place and take you exactly where you need to go.  Fury’s going to hate it, but I’m tired of taking orders that hurt the people that-”  His pause was as lingering as the look he gave you, “- That I love.”  Before Loki could offer a sincerely sassy reply you grabbed his sleeve, tugging, “Um… Excuse us a minute Steve.” Pulling him down the hall of a home that felt like a familiar faced stranger, you waited until you had a bit of distance from Steve before harshly whispering, “How long were you listening?”

Serving you that small, sexy smile, Loki grinned, “Long enough.  How did you know I was there?” “You are sneaky, but even you, God of Mischief, cast a shadow.” Swinging you close enough to catch your mouth with his own, Loki pressed a sweet kiss there before answering, “A mistake I will be careful not to make again!” “The tower, huh?  That’s where you want to go?”  Grabbing you at the swell of your hips, grinding his frame against your own, “Where I want to go, my darling, is to the nearest bed, preferably naked, with you and you alone.” Your hands traced over the lapels of his borrowed leather duster, pausing only to jerk him closer by the supple fabric, “Hmm… is that so?” “Oh yes…”  Loki’s buttery grumble filled your ear as his strong hands dug into the flesh of your bottom.  For a moment you thought he’d give in to temptation, his sweet lips teasingly close to your own upturned mouth, “But-” On your toes, leaning into Loki’s sturdy, leather draped frame, you paused, “Ugh.  But?” Moving you to a safer, less kissable, arms length away, Loki sighed with the same frustration you felt, “-But, where we need to go, as soon as possible, is the Tower.” Moaning grumpily, you stepped out of the arms you longed to linger in, “I was afraid you were going to say that.” “I know it’s less than… ideal, love, but I did find something useful before the good Captain unburdened his soul this morning.” “And that is?” “Fury’s plan.  At first I couldn’t figure out exactly what he was after.  What did Fury want?  How was I involved?” Loki was dragging this out, loving how it kept you hanging onto his every word, and you rolled your eyes, “Well?  What is it?  Weapons?  War?” “All of that, yes… and… yours truly.”  That triumphant smile that filled Loki’s whole face lit up his mischievous eyes.  Tilting your head, struggling to make sense of what Loki had just told you, “What do you mean, you.  Fury wanted you… to do what, exactly?’ “Loki was going to be the patsy.” You both turned toward the sound of Steve’s baritone at the door, suddenly remembering that the Good Captain was still there and that he was waiting to see what you were going to do next.  Leaning his 100 year old bones into the doorframe, Steve crossed his arms, “The fall guy.  An example of what happens if you cross SHIELD.” “I think, my dear Mr. Rogers, that you mean, I am to be used as an example of what happens if one crosses Nick Fury.”  Loki countered, slinging an arm over your shoulder protectively. The idea was frightening.  A man like Fury had too much power, too much at his disposal.  Just knowing the lengths he had gone to in order to keep you and Loki apart was scary enough.  Making enemies of your friends.  Threatening the people you loved.  Selling your affection to Steve in an effort to control Loki.

Now, the knowledge that all of it was done in an effort to ensure that Nick Fury was the toughest guy in the galaxy, it made your stomach clench.  “What do you mean, an example?” “Unless my intelligence is flawed, I believe that Fury was going to kill me.  Is that correct, Captain?” Steve felt the weight of two sets of eyes on him.  Yours, full of fearful love and blind hope that this was all just some misunderstanding.  Innocent and naive and as lovely as he could ever remember.  Loki’s were reflecting a deeper understanding.  The kind of knowledge that only time in the trenches teaches. There was no answer from Captain Rogers.  None was needed.  Honesty, final and resolute, was out in the open.  “Look.  I know I’m not the guy you want on your side.  I’ve… I haven’t been the man I needed to be.  Not for you-”  Steve locked his bright blues onto you, offering a small smile that spoke of sadness before facing Loki, “-Or you, Loki.  But if you let me help you now, I promise that I can get you into the tower and maybe, one day, you won’t think so little of me.” 

Around you the morning gained strength.  Somewhere nearby birds chirped wildly, blissfully unaware of the drama unfolding in the modest little farmhouse and its implications on intergalactic politics.  Without  moving a muscle, Loki plainly asked you, “Do you trust him, dearest?” Squaring your shoulders, you crossed your arms, staring down the man called Captain America.  Nodding decisively, “I do.  I don’t think he’d spill everything like that only to turn on us.  He’s not so bad Loki, really.” “We’ll see about that.  For now, we trust Steve.  Ok, what’s your plan, Rogers?” --- “Hey.  I… I have one other thing to show you.”  Steve was dressed for action in his branded tactical gear, looking every inch the super soldier that Dr. Erskine envisioned. “Steve, we have to get moving.  Loki’s eager and -” “Just open it, ok?”  The envelope was thick with folded paper, the flap tucked under and not sealed.  Clearly it had spent time in and out of pockets, the edges frayed and tattered.  In exasperated curiosity you gingerly pulled the sheets free.

Shaking, your hands trembled holding the once white documents as your voice thickened, “Is this… is this what I think it is?” Cocking his head playfully, that rueful smile pulling at his full mouth, Steve almost seemed cheerful as he teased, “It’s yours.  I think something about this place has always been yours and I want you to have it.” “But-” Folding your small hands in his mighty ones, Steve squeezed gently, “It was a wedding present, or it was supposed to be.” “But we’re not getting married.” “I know.  Still-” “I can’t, Steve.  It’s yours.  Your house, your farm, your dream.” Shaking his head, disagreeing, but feeling lighter than he had in decades, Steve insisted, “Too late, I’m afraid.  It’s done.  Actually, that version of the deed has been signed since our second week here.” As realization sunk in you appraised the man changing right before your eyes, astonished but exhilarated, “Where will you go?” “I dunno.  Think I might need to be alone for a bit.  Maybe see the world… but first-” “First, we have to stop Nick Fury.”

To Be Continued... My Minxes:   @scrumptious-finicky-illusion @iamverity​ @mizfit2​ @sammy-jo1977​ @wolfsmom1​ @jessiejunebug​ @iluvsumbucky​ @unadulteratedwizardlove​ @procrastinatinglikeabitch​ @shxdowofdarkness​ @nonsensicalobsessions​ @ahintofkiwistrawberry​ @alexakeyloveloki​ @rorybutnotgilmore​ @crystalizedcaramel​ @lokislittlecorner​ @capcapcapsicle @jamielea81​ @caffiend-queen​ @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore​ @jenjen8675309​ @that-one-person​ @roguewraith​ @toomanystoriessolittletime​ @vodka-and-some-sass​ @just-random-obsessions​ @brokenthelovely​ @lots-of-loki​ @thefallenbibliophilequote​

[thecodekeeper]

the sun and venus! - headcanon meme sent by @quitethepirategal

 THE SUN  !

( 𝗌𝗒𝗆𝖻𝗈𝗅𝗂𝗓𝖾𝗌 : ego,  basic  personality,  consciousness,  vitality,  staminia.  )

how  is  your  muse  as  a  person  ?  do  they  think  highly  of  themselves  or  are  they  pretty  humble  ?  what’re  they  like  when  meeting  someone  for  the  first  time  ?  are  they  an  individual  who  you’d  say  is  pretty  aware  of  their  surroundings  and  themself,  and  knows  just  what  they  want  from  life  ?  give  us  a  peak  through  the  veil  of  just  who  your  muse  is.  only  a  peak  !

Upon first meeting him, he gives off the aura of a silent, mysterious figure with an intimidating presence. This is not necessarily a facade. He truly is a frightening man when he wants to be.

Edward Teague is a prideful man with a quick temper who remains guarded even amongst friends. The expectation of those who have not met him is that his silence equates to callousness.  This is not the case. Despite his profession, he holds a strong sense of justice. You can not claim he is a good man, by any means, but he's not a bad one either. 

He is a hard man but not a cruel one. Having grown up in pirate society Teague has become accustomed to the most uncouth aspects of this life. He sees violence, pain, and death as necessities. It is a dog-eat-dog world and he's not a man who will allow himself to be eaten- not without a fight. He neither reflects nor feels guilt for the harm he has caused. Odds are if you're on the other side of his pistol you probably had it coming. 

His steadfast personality makes him a natural leader, yet he lacks the interpersonal skills to immediately connect with others. Despite this, he has spent most of his life in leadership positions. Whether it's as captain or Keeper of the Code, Teague often finds himself taking up responsibilities that he has no interest in. But if not him then who? The question remains unanswered. A lifetime of responsibility has given him respect for even the lowest cogs in the machine. As a captain and Keeper of the Code, Teague is stern but fair. 

His loyalty and natural inclination to protect others is a trait which I've found to stick out the most. 

Teague is not a knight in shining armour. Heroism has never, and will never be his thing. But maybe in another life, it could have been.

I suppose the best way to put it is that he's resigned to his imperfections.

VENUS !

( 𝗌𝗒𝗆𝖻𝗈𝗅𝗂𝗓𝖾𝗌 :  attraction,  love,  relationships,  art,  beauty,  harmony. )

what  is  your  muse ’ s  opinion  on  love ?  what  are  they  like  in  a  relationship  ?  both  good  and  bad.  what  do  the  seek  for  in  a  relationship  ?  what  type  of  people  are  they  attracted  to  ?  could  be  romantically,  sexually,  or  even  spiritually  ?  do  they  seek  someone  similar  to  themselves  or  someone  vastly  different  ?  what  does  beauty  mean  to  them  ?  do  they  associate  the  word  with  appearances  ?  souls  ?  what  does  the  word  ‘ harmony ‘  mean  to  them  ? 

You'd think a cynical man such as Teague wouldn't believe in love but it's quite the opposite. I mean, his ship is named Troubadour and he plays love ballads in his spare time. 

It should be noted that there have only been two ships on this blog. The first with Jack's mom, Maria, and the other being a completely non-canon ship with Cersei fookin' Lannister. These two ships are about as different as you can imagine, but I think they're a good representation of what Teague wants vs what he often gets. I'd also note that there only being two ships on this blog is indicative of the fact that Teague avoids relationships. FWB is rare and him dating is practically nonexistent. 

His relationship with Maria was Teague hitting the jackpot. I wrote about this far more extensively here. To summarize: she was the yin this yang (or yang to his yin? I don't know). In the ultimate plot twist, their relationship, while not perfect, was healthy. The issues which did eventually drive Maria to leave him were technically fixable (if she hadn't died).

The ideal relationship for Teague is someone who is caring and patient (oh, so, so patient) but ultimately independent and willing to put their foot down. They should also probably enjoy travel otherwise they'll never see him. 

Unfortunately what Teague NEEDS and CRAVES in a relationship doesn't appear to be what he often finds. This is where Cersei comes in because I think she's a good representation of where he'll most often find himself. I spoke about this here, but the relationship isn't particularly stable because, well, neither of them are stable people. They are, in fact, two of the most emotionally unavailable people you'll find. The relationship just burns itself out because they don't temper the other worst qualities. That is sort of the trend Teague would have in any romantic relationship. Finding someone who likely has that maternal touch he craves but is ultimately just as unhealthy as he is causing the entire thing to implode. 

Despite his aversion to romance, Teague also craves it...or at least the connection romance provides. 

[I didn't have anywhere else to put this but I wanted to add that Teague is monogamous. He prefers having that one person but is often forced to settle for fleeting connections because he's unwilling to put himself out there.]

Despite his cynical nature Teauge does have an appreciation for beautiful things. This obviously applies to what he finds aesthetically pleasing in people, but it also goes far beyond that. There are people who he considers beautiful simply for their kindness. I also have no good way of wording this but Teague enjoys travel because he finds beauty in different cultures (particularly the diversity in arts such as music and crafts). 

As for harmony... I don’t think Teague would be able to define that well so I’ll leave it blank.

[animeyanderelover]

Hi I was wondering if your requests are open? If so then would you be willing to do yandere chrollo and Feitan sharing an s/o? Like a poly relationship kinda thing? If your requests aren’t open or you don’t feel comfortable with it then feel free to just delete this! Have a nice day/night!

Information that I have rewritten this since I’ve made some dumb mistakes in here😓.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, sadism, threatening, killing, controlling Yandere, strict Yandere, manipulation, gaslighting

Chrollo and Feitan sharing a darling

📖☠️I wouldn’t really see Chrollo tolerating sharing his darling with anyone, though someone from the Phantom Troupe he trusts has more rights in regards of his darling. Still though, he’s far too possessive for that so I really can only see this work if Feitan was the one who found and captured the darling first, and that for a while. It’s likely that at one point everyone of the spiders will find out and in that case Feitan will be forced to introduce his darling at the very least, there are some people who want to know who the small sadist has it bad for after all. Chrollo…has some mild interest at first, he really only cares that Feitan can guarantee that you won’t tell anyone about what you know.

📖☠️He trusts Feitan enough though so that he will allow him in the end to keep the darling. Funnily I’d say that Chrollo could already be after the first meeting slightly interested in the darling. Feitan…Feitan had a longer stalker period after he caught his thoughts constantly drifting back to you and after he snapped and got annoyed with his feelings, he abducted his s/o. Chrollo on the other hand needs something which intrigues him, fascinates him with a normal citizen. One meeting still is not enough, it leaves an lasting impression and slight wonders, but Chrollo has yet to fall deeper into his own twisted obsession before the respect that you’re Feitan’s darling will be tested.

📖☠️A second and maybe a third meeting might be needed until it’s almost like Chrollo has been placed under a disease where the only cure seems to be you. Observing how frightened and jumpy his s/o is around everyone, how terrified they look whenever Feitan glare at them with the silent message to behave and how awful and forbidden the scars and bruises on their skin looks. Seeing how Feitan treats such a sweet, endearing thing like you stirs up disagreement, distaste up inside of him. A slight narrow of his eyes as he begins to worry that one day you might shatter under Feitan’s treatment, losing someone as interesting and cute as you. A thought has his heart hurting. What a tragedy that would be.

📖☠️When he talks with that about Feitan some time later, that the spider probably should treat their lover like a treasure and not an enemy of the Troupe is the beginning of this begrudgingly relationship. Feitan…is rendered speechless after hearing such words from his boss, more a demand than a nice suggestion. This could be Chrollo trying to be a gentleman of course, but Feitan knows this man for a little while longer now. It’s not like him since Chrollo only puts on such faces to get what he wants to know. Would he normally really interfere, almost threaten in a slight tone to try to stop this treatment?

📖☠️More frequent requests about how his darling is doing and using excuses from other members who want to meet you once again against Feitan only strengthens his suspicions even more that his boss might have caught a certain liking to you as well. And the short man does not know fully how to deal with this. He respects Chrollo endlessly yet starts feeling the growing threat more and more the more he has to see how his boss starts interacting with you, charming you and showing you care. Wounds that might not have fully healed will be stitched from Machi and he promises them that he’ll convince Feitan to stop this treatment.

📖☠️Feitan, not someone to be insecure, starts growing paranoid and slowly lunatic as well. How couldn’t he? Here is his boss, the one he swore loyalty too, taking a rapid interest in his s/o and sweet talking them. His boss is good in seducing someone, so the doubts that his darling might end up liking him and leaving him start pondering in his head more and more. The fear of losing someone to someone else, Chrollo from all people, is a situation Feitan never imagined himself to be in. Yet here he is, working himself completely up. His possessiveness grows, suddenly he always glues himself to your side whenever he takes you with him to the spiders, watching with a burning gaze. There were a few times where he even ended up asking you what you thought of his boss, though you were probably too frightened to say anything that might anger him.

📖☠️Pakunoda, Nobunaga and Machi were probably the first ones to realize that there was a building tension between Chrollo and Feitan and it’s likely that they had started suspecting that their boss was developing growing feelings for you as well. And it baffled them as well, knowing that this might cause problems and had already affected Feitan greatly. He had been in his worst moods and had lashed out on every member who had asked him about his darling. The three respect Chrollo and Feitan so all of them obviously wanted to find a way to solve this problem, though it was hard to believe that Chrollo wouldn’t do something either. But they wanted to at least discuss something with him.

📖☠️And shortly after Chrollo did indeed, reaching out to Feitan so he could have a talk with him somewhere alone. The leader of the Troupe had came to realize that he had fallen utterly in love with the new addition to the spiders as well and indeed, a possessive and discontent feeling was bestowed upon him whenever he had though and seen his darling spider and Feitan together. A man who had abused his poor lover with whips and chains. And the hostility which Feitan tried to suppress due to his respect for Chrollo had not been fruitless either, it only proved that Feitan held him in high regards yet was scared.

📖☠️It was easy to read Feitan in regards of his darling, the closed hearted man showed his true intentions and feelings. And as Chrollo confessed his feelings for the darling to Feitan, for a short moment his heart really did miss a beat. Eyes looking down as many conflicting emotions were clashing inside of him. Anger, confusion, frustration and fear. Chrollo could technically take his darling away from him, manipulate them and make them fall in love with him. It was all possible and the question was if Feitan would be able to do something against it. He couldn’t possibly fight Chrollo.

📖☠️Yet he was caught off-guard again when Chrollo suggested a very unusual offer, sharing. Admittedly, his greedy side had considered taking you away from Feitan yet there was the fact that he cared still for the members. And even if a thief took what they wanted, Feitan had never once betrayed or disappointed him and had been the first one to find you. He respects him and after a long talk with Pakunoda, Machi and Nobunaga who had all been concerned since sniffing out the signs, he had decided to try to be respectful. Honestly, none of those was exactly happy with that, but it was the best choice without drama. For Feitan probably more because he could still be with his darling.

📖☠️Everyone is not exactly surprised except for those really oblivious ones, otherwise all knew that their boss had feelings for Feitan’s darling. What did come as a surprise was that both of them had begrudgingly agreed to share. Caring for their fellow Troupe member Feitan and highly respecting their boss Chrollo everyone can still probably agree that this was the best outcome, though they’re all anxious how this will work exactly out and how you will end up.

📖☠️Chrollo still holds more control since he is still Feitan’s leader and he starts exactly with his sadistic and vicious outlashes on his darling. Because those are forbidden from now on, seeing all the wounds and scares on you makes this man agitated. You shouldn’t suffer like this. Another advantage Chrollo really has is that he has his charms and starts improving his darling’s life by a lot and since they are still terrified of Feitan (in most cases), they might tend to cling more to him. Something Chrollo uses with nightmarish perfection and something that is a harsh punch in the heart to handle for Feitan. He saw it coming yet it causes him to feel pain he doesn’t want to feel.

📖☠️Whilst I see Chrollo as responsible enough to guarantee that Feitan gets some time with the darling, if they were to refuse because they don’t want to be alone with Feitan, he won’t force them. Chrollo is a man who keeps his word to Feitan though, so if he promised he will still have to leave, even if it does satisfy him to see that his darling prefers him. He’d never show that though. Feitan has a harder time dealing with this all after, he does not have what Chrollo has and has a history of having his sadistic way with them. By now he has most likely softened far enough up to not do so anymore, not to mention that Chrollo is now in the picture.

📖☠️I still feel like that even if Chrollo would take advantage of the situation, he’d probably still give him some tips on what he can do to hopefully get the love of his darling which Chrollo is currently heading for in a rapid tempo. Feitan asks others like Pakunoda and Nobunaga as well after having swallowed his pride as well. And after that, behold yourself, he starts trying to be nice towards his darling. Something Chrollo acknowledges yet also sees as a certain sort of rivalry.

📖☠️There is always some sort of tension between those two, more subtle in peaceful times and sharp as a knife whenever one catches you being affectionate with the other one. No doubt that those two kind of rip the darling back and forth since both are extraordinarily possessive over their darling, the only things bonding them together is their mutual respect for each other and the darling. But seriously, do not hurt their darling. At this rate the whole damn Troupe has gotten attached to you so everyone daring to harm you will drown in the depths of hell.

[fruitydiaz-archived]

that’s my boy

eddie slips up after a successful rescue on a call and, while looking at buck looking beautiful and overjoyed, says “that’s my boy” to himself. except chim, hen, and bobby are all there when he says it.

buddie, pre-relationship, sweet fluff, pining

2,184 words

AO3 link

—

That’s my boy.

Eddie doesn’t mean to say it. It’s not like it’s even a phrase that he thinks often — not in regards to Buck.

Okay, so maybe, every once in a while Eddie will look at him doing something that is so whole-heartedly Buck — like performing a rope rescue when an apartment complex is on fire, or risking his life to save his ex-girlfriend’s fiance because he made a promise, because he’s always ready and willing to fall on the sword for the people he loves, even after they’ve hurt him, (Eddie wishes he wouldn’t do that so often, actually, but he understands), or organizing a Christmas party with Athena and inviting his whole family because he knew how upset they were that he wouldn’t be spending Christmas with them, or building gingerbread houses with Chris and Denny — and being happy to do it nonetheless. Just occasional things like that that make Eddie pause and make pride swell up inside him and remind him just how much he loves this man — despite all of the stress and anguish he causes him on a regular basis.

Which, is also, not something he thinks about often. The love thing, that is. The stress and anguish — that’s constant.

But when they’re on a call and Buck is ripping his helmet off, wiping the sweat from his forehead, skipping after the ambulance as it pulls away, overjoyed that his on-his-feet thinking and bull-headed determination saved yet another life, Eddie can’t help it when he smiles fondly, shakes his head, and chuckles to himself.

“That’s my boy.”

He doesn’t really process what he’s said until he looks back up and sees Hen, Chimney, and Bobby all staring at him. Chimney’s stopped chewing on his gum, mouth hanging a little open, Hen’s frozen with one perfectly manicured eyebrow raised, and Bobby’s looking at him with that look he gets when another imaginary piece of some metaphorical puzzle that only he is privy to falls into place. He tends to look at Eddie like that often, especially around Buck.

Eddie just stares back at them, tilting his head to the side a little, and pursing his lips.

“Your boy?” Hen prompts eventually, an amused grin slowly spreading on her face. Eddie feels his cheeks warm but shakes his head in confusion.

“What? I didn’t say—” Chimney starts shaking his head violently, cutting Eddie off.

“Nope, nope, you definitely did say those words.”

Eddie opens his mouth to argue that no he didn’t otherwise he would remember and also he’s never once said those words about Buck out loud so, of course, he wouldn’t — but Bobby holds his hand up, silencing all of them. Eddie tries hard to convince himself that the smirk on Bobby’s face isn’t also amused, because he likes to think that Bobby’s above all that. He’s their Captain, after all.

“Alright, you guys. Let’s wrap this up, okay?” Bobby says gently, gesturing to the scene in front of them. Eddie nods, avoiding making eye contact with either Hen or Chimney.

He does sneak a glance at Buck, eventually. He can’t really help himself. Buck’s like a magnet for him. He’s pretty sure he’d be able to spot Buck instantly, in any crowd, on any day. It’s partially this itch he has, this need to know where the people he cares about are, at all times, just to know that they’re safe. But also, there’s just a natural gravity that Buck has. Eddie always finds himself being pulled closer and closer.

It’s golden hour and Buck’s leaning against a post on the side of the street, talking to Athena and Bobby, making exaggerated gestures with his hands as he relays what just happened to them, even though they were right there with him. His hair looks soft and tousled, like it always does when he pulls his helmet off at the end of a call. The sunlight is hitting it just so, illuminating the edges of it and making it glow golden, like a halo around Buck’s head. Warmth blooms in Eddie’s chest at the sight.

That’s my boy.

When he turns back to the scene Hen and Chimney are smirking at him again. He rolls his eyes, finishes packing up, and spins to jog back to the truck.

Eddie likes to make his home in denial. It’s an island that keeps him safe, keeps him away from all of the things that could hurt him — like the reality of his feelings.

He’s known for a while that he feels something for Buck — he’s just not always sure what that feeling is. The thing about his feelings for Buck is that...not only are they absolutely terrifying to him — but they’re also confusing. He doesn’t fully understand his feelings because he’s not sure they're anything he’s ever felt before, not all at once, at least. He wasn’t expecting this — not from Buck.

Eddie doesn’t let a lot of people get close to him. It’s just a thing that he developed in his childhood that got stronger over time, the more he experienced loving and losing people. You don’t let people close, you don’t get hurt when they leave. That’s a simple fact.

But Buck hadn’t listened to that. Buck didn’t care that Eddie was scared of letting him in only for him to leave — because for Buck leaving wasn’t even an option. He had fucked up once and he spent every single moment since doing his damned best to make sure Eddie knew that he was ride or die, with him ‘till the end of the line. And he meant it, Eddie knew that.

So it could be easy for Eddie to look at Buck and be grateful that he has a friend like that, a support system that, no matter how hard either one of them tried, they couldn’t fuck up. But Eddie’s never felt the way he feels about Buck for anyone, ever. He had close friends in his childhood, and they always said they would be together forever, but none of them were around anymore. What did they have to base their loyalty off of, anyway? It was never serious when they said it, it was kid stuff.

And in his adulthood, most of his friends were from the army. They shared a lot of experiences that nobody else would understand, and came a lot closer than your average friendship, given the circumstances, but none of them made Eddie feel the way he does about Buck.

Certainly, no one looked at Christopher the way Buck did, save for his own family, and that was enough to throw Eddie’s entire body into some strange whirlpool of emotions he rarely let himself get swept up in.

Chris was Eddie’s entire world. He wanted to protect him from every hurt imaginable, even when he knew he couldn’t. Sometimes that protectiveness led to him making mistakes — but he was a parent and that was bound to happen, and he had to learn how to adjust, how to step back, and let Christopher find out things on his own. He had to let him get hurt, sometimes, and then encourage him to get back up.

But the hurt Eddie wanted to protect him from most of all was the hurt of abandonment. He never wanted to let another person into his life again, not without knowing that they would stay.

And Buck? Buck would do anything for Christopher. He never even had to say it because Eddie just knew. He said it in all of his actions, the way he walked all day after the tsunami, bleeding from his arm, collapsing in exhaustion only after he saw that Chris was safe. The way he encouraged him to never give up, to find a way to do whatever he wants. He loves Chris, and that makes Eddie love him even more.

He’s loved people before. Even if he’s not one to say it often, not in those words at least, he recognizes it when he feels it. He loves his family, his parents, his sisters, his aunt, his Abuela — even when they’re overstepping his carefully set boundaries. He loved the guys in his unit. He loved Shannon, he loves Christopher. He loves everyone at the 118, the family he chose.

But Buck is something different. Buck is something he’s never felt before.

When he realized he loved Shannon, it was like a hurricane that came out of nowhere, rushing over him, drenching him in its rains, pulling him in every direction, and leaving him entirely breathless. She was a perfect storm of love and chaos. One that he doesn’t regret, but one that he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to experience again. He’s not sure he could survive that kind of devastation again.

But Buck wasn’t anything like that, even though Eddie’s pretty sure that he should be, with all of his fierce love and reckless abandon. Eddie realized he loved Buck like watching a sunrise, slowly, gradually, growing warmer and brighter over time. He was a sight that made your chest ache from its beauty, one of those things that made you feel lucky to be alive, one of those things that made you feel like you were blessed to witness it.

He left Eddie feeling stunned and off-balance, but warm, and comforted at the same time. The thing about sunrises was that you could always count on them to come back around the next day. No matter what storms the night before brought, the sun was always there in the morning.

Buck made Eddie feel safe.

That’s my boy.

He’s packing up his gear in the truck when he spots Buck out of the corner of his eye, jogging towards him. He pretends to ignore him, ducking his head and smiling to himself as he shuts the door on the truck.

“Hey man, did you see that?” Buck says as he approaches Eddie. His voice is light and airy, like he’s a little out of breath from the jog over, which would make sense since he’s still got at least 70 pounds of gear on him. But he doesn’t look bothered by it at all. He just clasps his hands together and smiles at Eddie with that giant, overly pleased, and just on the verge of shy smile — the one he always shares with Eddie.

Eddie leans against the truck casually, crossing his arms and nodding at Buck, smiling.

“Yeah, I saw it. You did good, kid.” His heart constricts at the way Buck lights up at the praise. It’s times like these where he wants nothing more than to reach out and touch him, card a hand through his hair and then bring him in gently, tucking Buck’s face into his neck and holding him close, whispering all the words of encouragement he never got to hear when he was younger.

But he settles for this, standing at arm's length and keeping his praise to a minimum.

“We did good,” Buck corrects, punching Eddie’s shoulder lightly. “We make a good team.”

The team, Eddie knows, consists of Bobby, Chimney, Hen, Buck, and him. But when Buck looks at him like that, when he says things like that, it makes him feel like it's about just the two of them.

Buck’s matching his position, leaning against the truck now, looking down at Eddie with his flushed face and his sweet smile. It’s like they’re the only two people in the world. It’s an intoxicating feeling, so addictive that Eddie often wishes that he could just let himself get lost in it, soak up all of the love and attention that just radiates off of Buck, stretch out in the sunlight and just let it warm him all over, be utterly and unashamedly selfish with it. To relish in that love that he’s not always sure he deserves.

He opens his mouth, not sure what exactly he’s going to say next, when Hen appears behind him, patting him on the shoulder.

“Hey, Eddie, you and your boy ready to head back home or are you just gonna stand there looking pretty all night?” She shoots him a sly grin over her shoulder as she passes by them to climb into the truck. Eddie freezes a little at the teasing, not sure what he’ll say if Buck turns to him, tilts his head, and asks what did she mean by your boy?

But he doesn’t tilt his head in question at all. His eyes lock with Eddie’s for just a second and the corners of his lips twitch like he’s fighting a smile. Eddie feels his breath get trapped somewhere in his chest and then Buck turns away and disappears into the truck.

He hangs back for a bit, struggling to catch his breath again, nodding at Chimney and Bobby as they brush past him. Bobby pauses before he rounds the truck, looking back at Eddie with an amused smile.

“You good, Diaz?” He calls. Eddie looks away before nodding, waving a hand, and pulling the door open.

“All good, Cap.”

[thehltwoghosts]

Director's Cut: We Made It - Analysis

''I always said I'd stop eventually. The longer you go, the bigger the chance of messing it all up. The more you forget yourself. It's time. The walls are closing fast.''

It could be about stunts and being a part of one direction. He always told himself that someday ‟I'm going to quit’’ so the longer he continues his job, the more he can show his feelings in front of cameras while he pretends to hide.

He's beginning to forget himself, forget the caring about the ones who he loves. He just focuses himself to play what needs to be played and be the person who he has to be. ‘Cause the more he thinks about others, the weight he’s carrying is beginning to become more and more heavy with every heartbreak. 

In the first shots you can see that the guy's under the water for about 36 seconds which is longer than the last shot of the same scene. So in these shots, he takes time to think about all the memories with his lover and the things happened through the years. All the things we’re going to see are happening inside the guy’s head. Right now he’s examining these and trying to see what did he do right or wrong through all years.

I think that represents the time after one direction's break up. Louis was trying to find himself, find his sound and make what he wanted to do after all the things happened. He was trying to see it all at once, see his mistakes, take notes from those and come back present day as a better version of him. Clean, confident, honest...

We Made It

''Now we're saying goodbye, waving to the hard times. Yeah, it's gonna be alright.'' He wants to say goodbye to the hard times and start again. All along he knows that they're gonna make it whatever happens.

''Don't do this, he wouldn't stop. Keep using you and using you.''

His relationship was going through some troubles. They talk about his job, problems and how he needs to get away from the people who are using him. His partner tried to convince him to quit so they could be free.

''He's always tough to me. You just worried something happen'' 

He thinks differently at that time, thinks that he can work it all out and be adequate, thinks that the problem isn't the other guy who is in charge but himself. He can make it right, so others couldn't get any harm.

''Something will happen. If it isn't this time then the next. You're replaceable.'' 

''I gotta doing.'' 

The most important thing about this is he knows that he's replaceable, everybody can take his place, he knows that he's there to just serve, just obey for them.

Easter Egg :)

''I know him better than you ever will, he's my dad.''

This could be coincidence, If we didn't get the photo after a few days later when this video was released. Exact same time and exact integration with this sentence. Coincidence? We don't know her.

He has to go, has to do what he had been doing all along. Even If this cost to get away from the one who he loves, he needs to go. No other way that is known.

Same shots from the beginning keep showing us through the story. The story we saw is a flashback, happened in the past and now he's keeping some time to himself for review and understanding what has happened to them. Like I said before :)

Don't Let It Break Your Heart

''Don't you let it kill you, even when it hurts like hell.'' The second part is about trying to get away from the bad guy. He changed his mind, still a little hope inside him alive even If he has been hurt from time to time.

''I've known you since you were a little kid. I loved your family.'' 

''Don't know why they put all of this on us when we're so young. Done a pretty good job dealing with it all.'' He has been under the bad guy's control since he was a kid. He was just so innocent to fall in love.

''All I ask for loyalty.'' 

The guy wants his loyalty nothing less nothing more. Just his plan needs to go well as he designed. Players need to play their games and keep their mouths close.

I mean this scene is pretty obvious...

When the bad guy comes to place he's been in, he feels uncomfortable like every move he makes has been watched by someone who has control to say something about it. Then he looks away like he feels away from this group.

The guy gave money to people to make his works. Control every part of his plan to not have any mistakes. Perfect plan, perfect money.

''All you gotta remember, put your fucking mask on!'' 

In the second photo which is in video at 6:03. The person talking has a Bradford accent like Zayn and we have 5 guys in the car. Also you can see that guy has a strong impact on guys, they can't even ask questions or get answers.

''What's up?'' 

''What do you mean what's up?'' 

''You're not the same son. Don't mean tell me 'I'm fine'. Don't lie to me.'' 

While the guy asking these questions, he has a face that humiliates and insults people in front of him. And the boy always tries to avoid eye contact with the bad guy.

''I'm thinking after all these done, I have a little breather.'' 

''So you're asking me this or you're telling me?'' 

''I'm telling you.'' 

He's kinda shy while telling those, maybe scared of the reaction he'd receive. He seems insecure around the bad guy more than anybody.

''I decided what you do and when you do it, understand?'' 

''Good boy.'' 

''Go on your way.''

Bad guy takes a step closer to intimidate. Physical interaction, entering his personal zone, the look on the boy's face (disappointment) and last but not least the words. We can only imagine :(

''When you love someone and they let you go...'' This part has a few seconds to stop to highlight the words. And a little struggle tone Louis' used.

Stealing money could be about taking everything that he gave to the bad guy back. When he left, he dropped nothing to their advantage and used that to build his own life with his lover. Or it could be just a scenario thing.

''Listen to me sir! I want you to the get and find him and I want you to hurt him. Do whatever you gotta do to make him talk and gave my money back and when you done that, just give him a nicely walk.'' 

After money (the only thing he cares about) is taken away from him, he's just pissed off.

''You give me a cup of tea.'' 

That shade, only thing I found funny in this.

Kill My Mind

''You kill my mind, raise my body back to life and I don't know what I'd do without you now.'' He comes back to his love. Maybe the only thing keeps him what he's doing all this time along.

His lover's trying to have fun. Not fun fun but just for survival. Keeps living but one part is missing. Happy for the outside world but If you look inside, you can see the loneliness.

''I can ease the pain, just a little taste babe.'' They get back together. Happy that they're in each-other's arms, their kiss eases the pain. Just one touch, one look, one move...

They run away from the crowd. Arrive the place they can be alone and do whatever they want to do. Just lovers in the night, sky looks so blue, whispers on the air, laughs fill the blanks...

But they had been watched from the beginning. Even If looks like they're alone, every time they turn the corner or look around, they see others who examine every move they make. And the boy finally sets himself free, breaking away from the others just to be individual.

Just, I dare you to tell me these are not same. Lou is the fish, wbk :)

''Talk to me.'' 

''He's gone'' 

''Catch up(?) but with my money?'' 

''He jumped, there is no way he could have survived that.'' 

They think he can't make it on his own, he doesn't have anything special, he always needs others to shine. He is replaceable...

But he can make it and he made it. He landed the ground just by himself after all of these. He lost the weights on his shoulders, found somewhere he could be with his lover. The place where the sun's brighter than ever. Just them against everybody but together in the end.

These scenes... Louis watched all the events just like us. He can be an older version of his. He visited places after healing to just remember his past. He took the money from the bad guy and left nothing behind. Now he has power and money, but the bad guy has not.

So money isn’t just a scenario thing. Stealing money represents taking everything that he gave to the bad guy back. He took every piece of him from the guy, every moment he spent with him, every promise he had to make... He took everything just this guy to not have any impact on his career, on his life, on him as a person.

Only The Brave

''It's a solo song and it's only for the brave.'' 

He is brave enough to learn from his mistakes and fight to take his personality back. He is brave enough to stand for what he has, the love. He is brave enough to love ‘cause love is only for the brave. He’s brave...

''Love is only for the brave.''

''When you know, you know''  You know?

Even though we have 3 songs intertwined with story and a song extra, he named this as We Made It. He wants us to know that they made it, they've been going through changes and even If they had some problems along the way, in the end they're strong enough to stick each-other.

In conclusion, we saw a story along with a guy under the water. He thought about past events, choices he made, set himself free aka 1D break-up. At the end He Made It, he finally found his sound, confidence and most important lover. They're together and they'll be alright.

(Thanks for reading, take care yourself xxx)

THE END

[youwontlikethisblog]

La Arrogancia De La Niña

Read Posts 1-3 titled Betty, My Betty to catch up to the character analysis that I will be talking about here.

A little background: After Armando dropped Betty off he went to Marcela's apartment. He seemed indecisive if he wanted to stay or leave as he walked towards the dining table and then towards the elevator, spun and went back to the dining room while we heard Betty's monologue.

At first glance I did think Armando pulled away from Marcela because he had just been kissing with Betty. Though we know that he has been able to kiss Marcela even when he's snuck off with his models, so it's not guilt. When he goes to brush his teeth he says that he can't be kissing Marcela after kissing Betty, that if she found out she'd kill him.

From the very few interviews that I have seen about the characters I remember Jorge Enrique saying that Armando is obsessed with perfection, especially in women and because of that he is very impatient with Betty because she doesn't fit that vision of his.

Armando isn't physically attracted to Betty, that's a fact and the reason why he lives in such denial but he still acts with deliberation.

Just because he is in denial about his feelings it doesn't excuse the things he does knowing exactly what he feels about them.

Armando earases Betty's trace from him in this scene and after that he no longer feels guilty, he stares at Marcela and admires her beauty. He kisses her telling her how he needed to see her, how badly he needed her to help him forget the horrors of the day.

In this scene what caught my attention was that he makes eye contact with her like nothing. With Betty at the office he struggled to make eye contact with her or hold it. The only time he managed to was when the topic was only about work but when the conversation was over he couldn't look at her or make eye contact for longer than a second with her.

With Marcela he's able to hold eye contact, conversation, touch her, kiss her, tell her how he needs her. This parallels allows us to understand the reason being that one relationship is only based on physicality while the other one is based on person/human connection.

When their scene for that night comes to a closing Armando and Marcela are kissing and he has his eyes open and the exact same expression he had with Betty. He closes his eyes for a second and they pull away and hug. He looks confused and then rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

Here he is now feeling the effects of the kiss with Betty. He kissed her sober. He felt something again and unlike before he can't excuse it for being drunk so when he now kisses Marcela and he realizes that he feels off or not like before, he chucks it for guilt and dismisses the topic from his mind.

Now that we've got this background let's proceed to the scene at hand.

Mario and Armando go to have a briefing about the previous night.

When you're writing dialogue(if it comes naturally to you) you don't pick and choose every word used and think about the impact it holds. That is why it's so important to know your characters and understand them before you start writing. It's important to understand their role, who they are, everything inside and out, and then writing comes naturally. Once you've learned to distinguish their voice, their tone in writing your conscious becomes invisible and everything comes from your subconscious. In the first draft you go unfiltered. You pour out your tears, your blood, you whole heart into it, and when you rewrite it to polish it you go into detail. You remove the bits that don't really make an impact and you find the words that really push your point across.

Writing is truthfully, in my humble opinion, the art that truthfully transfers you and evokes emotion like no other. I paint, I write songs, I draw and I do all these other artistical things but writing, the gift that I rejected for years, is the most comforting and the most beautiful of all arts. When done right you don't only make people travel among space and dimensions but you cause a huge impact in their intelectual person. A pen and paper are the most dangerous weapons.

You might be wondering why I'm even talking about this on this post but it's important to understand and credit the true mastermind behind this story as he wrote it by himself, be it at a rush with no time, with all the time in the world, money or no money, he wrote something that impacted an entire world and inspired change.

A ruthless man falls in love with a beautiful woman.

You can say "but Betty isn't beautiful." and that's where the message is lost. Betty is beautiful. Beauty, people often think is based on the physical appearance of something or someone but Beauty is the essences of something or someone. We don't look at the sunset and think it's only beautiful because of it' colors. We look at it and think it's beautiful because of its power, of it's essences, and it's presens. We are in awe of its magnificence and that makes it beautiful.

So Betty is beautiful.

Betty is deserving of love, kindness, respect, faithfulness, loyalty, and so so much more because she is utterly beautiful.

Fernando's intention was to teach us that. That beauty is not skin deep. Beauty is the heart of someone and their impact in the people around them.

Armando isn't beautiful at the start of this. He is an ugly human being but with qualities that make him passible. To find his beauty you have to really dig into him.

The true monster here is Mario, but Armando is guilty for simply allowing Mario to continue this way.

Mario asks him if they kissed and Armando tells him that he kissed her twice.

Let's start.

"Well you know what I ended up not liking? Come over here that I'm gonna tell you more" Armando stands up and walks to the double doors and stands under the door frame of his office and the meeting room. Mario follows him.

"Imagine that this woman last night got hooked on that I couldn't be crazy about her. That I couldn't be obsessed for her. That she doesn't have enough qualities for me to fall in love with her."

What does Armando's body language tell us? Like last night, it truly boggles or frustrates him that Betty says things. It's almost like if he found it an insult for Betty to insinuate these things. Here his hand is moving vastly in the air making points of what Betty told him, his is speaking fast and his tone is frustrating all of this indicates he is offended or angry that Betty would think that of him.

in short translation: How could Betty think that I wouldn't be attracted to her? Crazy about her? Why, am I just a stupid superficial man? Who only cares about women's bodies and not who they are as a person? That she doesn't have any qualities that would drive me crazy and be obsessed with her?

Obviously he isn't going to tell this to Mario or really himself either.

"Well she isn't naive. She's seen herself in a mirror." Mario jokes.

"Of course but I had to name a bunch of qualities to convince her."

"Qualities?" he whispers.

"Yes." he whispers aggressively.

"Tell me, that imagination and creativity of yours; What qualities did you have to tell her?"

Armando shrugs and starts to mumble incoherently and Mario interrupts him.

"And did they[she] believe you?"

"Well I hope so."

"Did you kiss her?"

"I said yes. I kissed her twice." He whispers annoyed.

"What did she say? Are you both dating? Did she accept that she's crazy for you?" Mario sounds too excited with the last questions which gives the impression that he likes to hear all of this which is just gross.

Armando gives us a micro expression of confusion, it seems like his hands are inside his pockets and he shrugs and shakes his head.

"Well man that's what's weird about it. I did tell her I was obsessed with her, that I'm dying for her, but she's not of me." Mario gasps, shocked. "That she thinks I'm a very interesting man, that she admires me a lot, that I've been real special with her for a lifetime but that no, that's the only thing she finds attractive of me." Armando's quick pace but without stutters or word fillers allows us to know that he is confident in what he is saying(he's thought about this a lot) but nervous about what it means.

Mario gasps again and tells him "Do me the favor. The arrogance of that girl. You almost don't convince her, you have to kiss her two times and after that she tells you, Hey, I admire you." Between this cluster of words we see Armando thinking hard. He really is bothered or worried about Betty not really showing an interest in him.

Our egos are a huge part of who we are. We want to be liked by people and accepted, it's part of our genetic makeup. We are sociable beings. Now, if I told my boss that I admired them and that they always treated be respectfully and respected my job I think my boss would feel pretty happy about that. It would boost his ego.

Armando however isn't acting like that. If he was truly unbothered by Betty and her feelings towards him(it isn't because of the plan) than he'd just chuck it in a bin and say he'll work on it. He's literally spent two days with Betty since the kiss, he wants Betty to be fawning over him now?

His ego is hurt, his man ego. He wants Betty to like him, to like him as a man and not her boss and it isn't because of the plan because if it were than the man would understand that steady wins the race but he's an impatient man who wants Betty on the same page he's in.

"Yeah, yeah, see I think she still has that guy Nicolas stuck in her head." (ARMANDO IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS, THREE DAYS! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?)

"No." Mario whispers.

"Yeah and I don't like it at all. Look at what she left on my desk this morning."

Now they turn their backs to the office and face the meeting room. While Mario holds the chocolate bar in his hand he tells a worried Armando:

"Aw but how sweet. Now, see this is a good sign."

"Really? Is it? You think so?" he says hopeful.

"Aw, man, please."

"Really?It is?" he looks at the chocolate bar in Mario's hand and then stares off, concentrated, in what Mario is saying.

"Look this means she accepts the relationship?"

"Really?" he whispers hopeful.

"Now you have to consecrate-" Armando shifts, now he rest his hand on Mario's shoulder and starts to bite his thumb nail as he listens closely to Mario, the love guru. "You have to eradicate from her head and heart that guy Nicolas Mora, want some?" he asks after taking a piece of chocolate out.

"Yeah, keep going." he takes a piece out too. "keep going that I like what you're saying."

Here the opportunity he's been waiting for presents itself. Betty accepting the relationship gives room for him to remove Nicolas from her love life, therefore leaves him in the center of it.

"These ugly[women] like Betty are very romantic." Armando nods. "So then you have to create a routine of a boyfriend." Armando nods, agreeing. "You have to feed the illusion, you have to maintain the relationship alive." once again Armando nods in agreement and with his hands gestures that he wants to hear more. "because starting from this point on my dear sir you are now the boyfriend of Beatriz Pinzon Solano." Armando's eyes are wide, lips pursed together(could be because he has chocolate in his mouth) and hands in pickets, he turns to his left, away from Mario for a brief second and has a face of "Are you for real?"

"But but how will-what kind of gifts, things do you mean?"

"Look brother, romance is like a bonfire. If you don't feed it the passion extinguishes. It's that simple. We shouldn't call this a win. I think Betty isn't sure about how serious your are[about your feelings]. You have to work on her more, make her fall in love and you have to show her that this is something very serious, you understand me?"

"But what kind of job that I have to do?"

That's the end of that scene.

Later when Mario and him are talking how to go about with the gifts and romantic details we get confirmation(post Thank You...) that when it comes to the physical of it, Armando pictures AA instead of Betty.

From here once again we do get a clear understanding that Armando is confused and when he's not confused(very different emotions) he is in denial of it. He is worried about the company. Mario only ever brings it up when he sees that emotions aren't motivating Armando enough to continue with the plan.

I think it's very important to understand the intention of what we are being shown here. The writing is meant to help us understand what they are saying. Words, speed of speech, gestures, expressions, and body language help us determine what is actually being said.

When Mario suggest that he take Betty to some tavern or club instead of restaurants Armando says that he doesn't think Betty will like those.

I think we've all established that Armando does care about Betty and therefore I don't need to breakdown his behavior so much. We understand that he is going along with this plan because he wants to keep Eco Moda and Betty all to himself.

Mario, The Love Guru, Calderon takes advantage of Armando's ego and his confused state of mind as of late to play him like a fidel and for some reason still when Armando finally confesses his real feelings for Betty to him he acts surprised.

Armando isn't a saint. He still willinging went along with the plan to make Betty fall in love so when Betty asked him "what about me?" he showed his true colors of selfishness because he dismissed her feelings. He dismissed the potential heartbreak and downfall of a woman who has been exceptional with him, who he recognizes as exceptional and yet for his ego and his company he used her like a pawn, even if it was his favorite one, he didn't care.

For him right now Betty is just an object that he likes a lot and these scene show us that.

[EDIT: While yes I still think Armando still views Betty as an object, this next scene shows us that that is starting to change.]

As the scene continues Mario tries to downplay Armando's guilt by saying that he's basically doing charity work because no man, especially one like him[Armando] would ever be interested in, muchless court, a woman like Betty.

Armando goes to clarify what he's trying to saying.

"You don't understand what I'm trying to say. I'm going to end up causing her harm. See I can tell it's really easy to get her to fall in love. " Now we hear from that man of the hour, how he feels about Betty's kiss though he only describes the way she kisses him, his expressions and his tone of voices allows us to see that he likes her kisses and how they make him feel, however because he thinks she's "ugly" it's hard for him to understand this.

"Everytime she kisses me it's with such a tenderness, a sweetness, where she holds my face and stares at me with such an admiration, like if I were her idol." While he says he speaks of it with fondness and I must admit, lovingly.

He doesn't hate her kisses and he doesn't hate the way he feels about them. So he didn't wipe away Betty's kisses and brush his mouth because of Betty's kisses because he was disgusted. He did it for Marcela and her ego and his guilt because the kisses meant more to him than any other kisses he's ever given, that's why the first kiss was strange. That's why he is so confused about it but what stops him again from understanding the significance of these feelings is Betty's outer appearance.

This is now trekking away from the objectification of Betty to a more sentimental route where he no longer just views her as his possession but an actual person.

The moment Calderon jokes "It's because you are her idol." Armando shuts off, he stops trying to explain himself or his feelings and annoyed asks Mario what does he think of the whole thing then?

"When we recover Eco Moda, pay off our debts, and recover our money, what then? What happens to her? What happens with that relationship?"

"Well you do what you do with every girlfriend that becomes a burden. You fire her, you get rid of her."

Remember that Armando was willing to fire Claudia, until Mario made him feel guilty for the lecture he gave him about Aura Maria. Even then after Marcela asked for her head he didn't hesitate to talk to Hugo about it, who gave him a lecture about it.

However he was hesitant to fire Betty, even before there was any romance involved. He didn't want to get rid of her so now that Mario says that once she gives them back everything they can get rid of her Armando looks at him in disbelief and angry.

Armando really doesn't want to ever have Betty outside of his life and he can't imagine his life without her in it in someway or form.

Now, Patty goes in yelling, Armando shows up, kindly speaks to Betty while aggressively speaks to Patty.

Again this display's Armando's guilt but also his desire to make Betty happy by treating her well.

[deithe]

the bones (2,847 words) (1/1)

(an introspective on jason grace. kind of?)

read here on ao3 or read below the cut!

jason falls in love with the human equivalent of a forest fire

(his mother fell in love with the sky itself)

jason grace grew up being told that his destiny was very, very simple.

his first and most important mission, handed down to him from lady juno and mother lupa, was that jason was destined to save rome. that his destiny lay with new rome and camp jupiter, a new romulus to lead the pack to greatness. he would spill so much blood in new rome’s name that the little tiber would overflow and the gods would crown him with a golden laurel made from monster ichor.

he would be everything everyone else needed.

a spear for the senate, a shield for new rome, a standard to replace the one that had been lost, a sword for the gods to wield, and another pack member for lupa. he would be the perfect soldier, a demigod fashioned by two god-mothers for the simple act of being a weapon.

his second duty was that jason was to be nothing like his father.

his father, evil, unpredictable, selfish and cruel, was to be jason’s antithesis. lady juno stressed this, as did the senate, as did his praetors (though praetor saville jason eventually killed in battle, so jason doesn’t take her words to heart anymore). jason was never, ever to be like his father. all sons of jupiter before him were either driven insane or were killed, and jason’s great destiny could not afford for him to do either of those things.

‘hubris’ lady juno once told him, while going through his latin lessons in the damp cold of the den (or wolf house, as she called it), ‘is the thing that kills sons of jupiter’.

so jason was to never be prideful, but at the same time, never to believe he was inferior. he was to be subservient but never meek, he was to be a capable fighter but never violent. he was to be kind but not a pushover. open but not flirtatious.

he was to be perfect. he could not afford anything else.

then he, in the span of a few months, murdered his prateor after finding out she was a traitor, watched his friend be assaulted by a family legacy of prophetic visions which turned him into a paranoid asshole, watched his other friend assume a leadership role, one which he tried to refuse, and fought an army, killed a titan and toppled kronos’ black throne.

he also became praetor and then was promptly kidnapped by lady juno, leaving said other friend with all the responsibility.

then any and all plans the gods had for him were ruined by a daughter of aphrodite with eyes like the earth and a son of hephaestus with a smile like war.

how could jason be the perfect soldier when his loyalties no longer lay with new rome? he loved his home, he loved his siblings-in-arms, he loved the legion-

he loved leo and piper more than the breath in his lungs, than the sky and earth and more than his destiny. he loved them enough to try and find whatever scraps of himself he had. to create something they could love too.

(heracles killed himself after accidentally killing his family. love killed him in the end)

and so, jason failed in his first mission. he could no longer put new rome above them, above camp half-blood.

jason doesn’t think becoming his father is an option for him, however. his father is prideful and arrogant and his father's likeness, he will eventually learn, belongs only to his prodigal sister.

and so, jason grace finds his last name, a family he never knew, friends he could die for and an empty cabin that seemed less lonely with leo or piper in it.

then they went on a quest, leo built a ship and they all set sail to stop gaia from rising.

then jason lost leo, then jason lost everything, then jason lost himself and then lost piper-

and, in the middle of winter, leo valdez came crashing down on a metal dragon with eyes like a nuclear explosion and teeth made for tearing meat from bone, or tearing jason’s heart from his chest.

and then jason found himself again in the space between the junction between leo valdez's fourth and fifth ribs.

leo valdez is a lot of things. he’s a son of hephaestus and a complete asshole. he’s the first child of hephaestus to be born with the ability to create and control fire in over 400 years. he’s a 5’4ft guy who wears platformed boots to make himself seem taller. he’s so powerful that he obliterated gaia. he’s a genius. he thinks spraying axe bodyspray on himself is the same as a shower. he overworks himself even when he doesn’t have to. he can fight gods and go toe-to-toe with any big three kid and hold his own. he likes to survive on a diet of mango monster energy and takis. he's obnoxious. he's thoughtful. he makes mean-spirited jokes at other people's expense. he's the best person jason's ever met

he’s-

currently late for their date.

It’s not that jason minds, per se, but leo has a nasty habit of getting so completely lost in his work that he can plan a date for the next day, and jason won’t see him for at least three days. it’s one of the downsides of being the trophy boyfriend of a genius.

jason sighs and rocks back on his heels, eyes darting up to the grey, overcast sky. he can almost hear leo in his head, asking if he could pretty please make it less goddamn cold? and his pout when jason refuses to change the weather for him.

it's not that jason won't. it's just that he can't. it makes aeolus snappy.

sometimes he still does it. manipulates the air currents just enough to warm the air around them and leo smiles, a real one, small and soft. like it wasn't meant to be seen. a secret thing, just for jason.

jason doesn't see leo smile like that often.

it's mid-february in new york and jason is kicking around central park in the grey mid-day light. it's quiet, this part of the park, with barely anyone passing jason as he leans against a tree, wet dew dripping into his unstyled hair. it's cold, but not cold enough for a freeze or snow. just the right amount of cold to turn your hands numb and purple from cold

which. if you've never seen leo 'was raised in texas and has fire powers' valdez in new york snow, jason fully believes you've never lived.

he spends another 30 minutes splitting his time from staring into space and wandering around the meeting spot they've arranged. it's peaceful here. jason can even hear some birds twittering and chirping in the trees above. the cold even stops bothering him. jason likes being alone sometimes.

it reminds him of the lupercal and lupa. long days and nights in the loneliness of the redwood forest. just him and the wolves and the stars.

though now jason has sturdy boots and a wool jacket, so not exactly the same.

he's in the middle of trying to coax a timid sparrow onto the hand, crouched on the balls of his feet when he feels a presence beside him. he goes stiff when he realises and then, like all the tension has been zapped out of him, goes relaxed again.

"that," leo whispers, also crouched beside jason, "is one fat fucking bird"

jason represses a grin, "don't say that. he's probably barely eaten all winter," and leo snorts, moving closer to jason so their shoulders brush. the bird regards leo with some caution but his black, beady eyes seem to acknowledge that jason would keep him safe.

"he looks better fed than me, jace. do you care more about this bird than your own poor boyfriend?" leo says, faux-sadness in his voice, "how cruel, jason grace. how cruel".

jason turns in time to see leo shake his head, black curls wild around his face as they shudder like leaves in the wind. his eyes are dark brown, watching the bird watch leo. a staring contest.

leo says his name like no one else does. like it's a name. like it's good. like it's something familiar and warm. he does not say 'jason' and imagine a great hero or a wolf-boy with no past. he does not say 'grace' like a joke, like grasp for power, like it carries too much weight for his tongue to bare.

he says it like it belongs to jason. he says it like it's important. not too fast, but not too slow.

leo turns his head to find jason staring at him.

"jason" he calls, lips quirking up at the edge, pulling out the 'o' like toffee, "i know i'm pretty irresistible but please, keep your longing stares for the bedroom"

jason shoves up against leo's shoulder, blush bursting across his already red-cold face.

he pushes just slightly too hard and leo goes spilling across the wet grass, yelping in surprise.

"jason!" he yells, looking up at jason half shocked and half in amusement. "what the fuck, dude!"

jason can't help himself.

leo is wearing jason's hoodie, the black one mrs.blofis picked out for jason which leo claimed as his own even before they started dating. his new denim, fur-lined jacket (from the hide of the nemean lion they killed last year) is just slightly too big and he's wearing black jeans. he looks like the college freshman he is. he looks mortal.

he looks human. he has leaves in his hair and his cheeks are flushed from the cold, teeth showing through the toothy smile he's giving and-

it's uncanny, sometimes, how well they can pass for normal. you almost can't tell leo's died and come back to life. you almost can't tell he's more powerful than any living mortal.

almost.

jason falls on top of leo in the wet grass, which causes leo to yelp, again, and knee jason in the stomach.

jason groans "dude, what the hades was that for?" and he rolls of leo, onto the wet grass beside him, arms protectively covering his bruised stomach.

"you fell directly on top of me, you big lug," and leo sits up, picking a leaf out of his curls absentmindedly, "if you haven't noticed, you're like a bean-pole with muscle mass. that shit hurts!"

jason pouts up at leo, who manages to look both unimpressed and fond. he rolls his eyes and offers his hand to jason, who accepts and leo hauls him into a sitting position in front of him

"hi, leo" jason says finally, "you're late"

"i'm not late, loser, you're just a nerd and get places earlier than normal people. its super weird," leo tells him, matter-of-factly, scooting closer to him as they sit on the ground. "you should really get it checked. might be terminal nerdiness. the glasses are just the first sign"

jason raises an eyebrow, curviving over said glasses. "i didn't know it could be terminal. oh well, guess i'll just wither away and die from being punctual. what an injust life i lead. how the sorrows never end"

leo pouts, eyes sparking with enough warmth to keep out the cold for decades to come, "don't be so down about it, I hear being a nerd has perks,"

jason moves closer, so his knees are half-pulled up to his chest and he's balancing his weight on his hand. leo fits perfectly in the bracket of his arms.

"oh? do tell?" he asks, and leo is close enough that jason can see the faint freckles on his cheeks. they're fading from how far away leo has been from the sun, but jason loves them anyways.

"yup," leo says, popping the p and smiling like the cat who got the cream. "do you know that all nerds get super hot and funny and sexy boyfriends? as compensation for being such nerds, of course"

jason pulls back his head a bit, just as leo laces his arms around his shoulders, "really?" and his voice is soft, but the smile won't disappear from his lips, "wow, didn't know that. guess I'm lucky that you're such a huge nerd or-"

leo kisses him like coming home. and in a way it is.

jason has known many homes. he's known the small apartment with his mother that smelt like spilt wine and smoke and mold. he's known the lupercal and the redwood forests around it. he's known the barracks at camp jupiter and the feeling of purpose in his chest. he's known cabin 1 and cabin 9 and bunker 9 and on the back of festus and on the argo. he's known the feeling of reyna laughing as he tells her wild stories and of the fifth cohort raising him on their shields. he's known lying in leo's private room with piper and leo, listening to low music and feeling safe with just them.

but the one person who jason has felt like home since they met was leo. his high ground through the tsunami. his parachute during a plane crash. the one point of home. like the north-star.

jason smiles into the kiss, his free hand tangling itself in the rough fabric of leo's dark blue denim jacket. it's soft and chaste, more a press of warm lips than anything. it's comforting. it's familiar. it's everything he wants.

leo pulls back a bit, just far enough to speak but still close enough that his breath brushes up against jason's cold face. "hi," he says, brushing his nose against his, "missed you, bro".

jason snorts, "i missed you too, leo, how's MIT treating you?"

"like i'm it's bitch is how it's treating me," leo tells him, slumping slightly into jason, forehead against jason's. "can we not talk about college? i think if we talk about college I might start crying and then our date will be ruined"

jason pulls back a bit to look at leo. he does look more tired than usual, eye-bags darker and lips bitten from nervousness. he frowns, using his free hand to cup his face. "are you okay? we can just go back to your dorm if you're too tired-"

"ugh, no way" leo groans, "fuck that. i just wanna spend time with you, okay? i wanna be mushy and all that gay shit. i want bad food and to kiss you again and again and do more than kissing-"

jason rolls his eyes.

"-and then go back to mrs.blofis apartment and watch really bad movies you like for some reason and then i'll go to sleep beside you and it'll be gay and shit"

"gay and shit?"

"gay and shit, you better believe it grace. but first-"

and leo untangles himself from jason and stands up, brushing the dirt from his knees leaving jason frowning on the floor.

he offers out his hand, brown skin calloused from work, long, thin fingers curled slightly as the palm faced upwards.

"c'mon, super, treat your louis lane to some greasy new york food before he decides batman has better pay"

jason is so, so lucky he got leo valdez. that the fates decides to make sure that his destiny crosses leo's. that he convinced leo valdez to let down his walls, to stay, that jason wouldn't leave him like the others, or hurt him or betray him.

that jason was in it for as long as leo wanted him to be. that jason only wanted leo to say his name, wanted to give it to leo because leo's the only one who's mouth jason trusts with it. that jason wanted to give leo his past. wanted to show him and tell him where he got each scar.

he trusts leo with this. he trusts leo's hands to not burn it all to ash. because he knows that if leo wanted to, he could. he could burn jason alive with a thought. turn him to ash and glass with a flick of his hand.

jason has fallen in love with a nuclear bomb, with a supernova of a boy and jason doesn't care if it kills him, because he has spent so long pretending to be what everyone else needed, that now he was going to be who he wanted to be. even if it got him killed. even if it burned him alive.

jason grace has fallen in love with the human version of a forest fire. he should be afraid of it, of leo. he is not. he never will be.

beryl grace fell in love with the sky itself. wanted all the stars in heaven and didn't care what happened to her. as long as she knew she had the stars attention. as long as she knew the sky loved her back.

as long as he knew the fire loved him back.

he takes his hand.