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#cause I have a lot of these images AND cause i'm wearing a shirt just like this right now and it is supremely cozy
meadow-dusk · 10 months
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Neil Young + Red Flannel ❤️
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arklay · 2 years
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6, 8, 22, for bestie diana ;)
vanilla sunday meme ♡
6. does your muse steal clothing from their partner?
YES. she's always had a bit of a thing for stealing her partner's shirts, but she doesn't typically do it unless she's close with the person. so, typically only with a couple of "friends" she's been with casually, or her first boyfriend and albert. lmao rip ex-husband, you didn't get the honour of seeing tiny lil diana in your massive shirts
with albert, she loves to take his shirts without his permission after they get together because she thinks it irritates him, not knowing that he finds it cute (which took him by surprise at first, because he thought for sure he'd be angry that she hadn't asked before touching his things) and, of course, there is that level of possessiveness and her being covered in his scent... which she loves, by the way. that's one of the reasons she likes wearing them in the first place, but also because she finds a lot of comfort in wearing his shirts or his dressing gowns, even before they were together (clown)
8. is your muse comfortable with, or proud of their body? are they insecure?
diana has a really complicated relationship with her body, honestly. she grew up doing ballet, so i think that kind of tells you a lot already. she's always been naturally thin, but that was too much, and she would obsess over any small change she saw. she developed a healthier relationship with her body during her 20s – which, i mentioned in those other asks that sex and bdsm became a form of self-expression for her, it also helped her build a lot of confidence in her body – but there are still aspects she's not the best with. her hirsutism is one she's always struggled with, so she is quite obsessive with removing body hair and shaving her face
albert is like... body worshipper 1000. he spends so much time just kissing her all over and telling her how beautiful she is, and she wasn't used to that early in their relationship, so when she wasn't getting either a big head or being a bit flustered (depends on the day), she would sometimes tense up a little, expecting other comments or thinking he was lying :(
also alluded to this a little bit in that fight fic, but the changes to her body with uroboros were not ones she was that fond of. having a bit more toning and muscularity reminded her of when she did ballet, so that wasn't fun, even though she loved her eyes. but overall, she does like her body. it took a while to get there from when she was younger, but she does
22. does your muse read smut, own magazines, or watch p×rn?
not really, no. magazines don't really do much for her, and she's always been very uncomfortable with watching tapes and such. just a small reminder of when she was born and all of that; it was very tailored to the male gaze, dehumanising women and reducing them to objects, so... gestures vaguely. she's tried to read erotic novels before as well, but honestly, she just found them boring lmao she's very nitpicky. everything she's learned has been from experience or sex manuals (she's cute. i love her), and she doesn't need supplemental material when she's having her "me time"
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novemberheart · 1 month
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{overview} as you become closer with your pack, nature takes control
{warnings} cursing, mentions of sex, cursing, mentions of violence, fem reader, a/b/o dynamics, lots of jumping around
Chapter 11 <- Chapter 12 -> Chapter 13
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Kyle had you sitting between his legs, your legs over one of his thighs. The two of you sat on the bathroom floor as he gently cleaned your leg and applied medicine. You were in your undergarments, not wanting your shirt to continue sticking to the scrapes on your side.
Kyle was being incredibly respectful. Well, he was too upset to even think about anything other than cleaning you up. The image of you covered in blood continually resurfacing in his brain.
You winced at the sting of medicine.
“I'm sorry, love.” he shushed you quickly.
“It’s okay,” you whispered back.
“You called John ‘alpha’,” Kyle spoke, trying to change the bleak subject. He knows you've called him alpha before- because he had to pay the consequences. You nodded your head, resting your head against his broad chest. You noticed Kyle doesn't wear scent blockers as much as the others. Maybe it was because his scent was already fairly neutral. You were grateful for it now. The smell of fresh linen soothing the throb in your skull.
“Are you okay with that?” you hummed, your eyes growing heavy. Kyle began cleaning up your arm. John wasn't technically your alpha yet. But he was Kyles. You could imagine how you would feel if someone you had just met two weeks ago was calling your alpha theirs.
“Course, love,” he responded quickly. “I quite enjoy it actually.” he hummed. Your eyes fluttered open, staring at the wall ahead.
“How so?” you pondered.
“Means you feel comfortable,” he explained. “Makes Cap’ pleased too.” That caused you to smile lightly.
His heartbeat was beginning to fall back to normal. The rhythmic thumping becoming less and less routine.
“Kyle?” you hummed softly.
“Yes?” he hummed back. His lips rested against the top of your head.
“Can I sleep with you tonight? In your bed I mean- or mine.” you felt him smile. You didn't want to be alone. You had the fleeting thought of asking John, but that was too intimidating. Plus Kyle was like a sedative on your nerves.
“Course, babygirl.” he agreed lowly. A shiver ran up your spine. He sighed, beginning to gather all the discarded cotton wads and bandage packages. “You’re all good, lovie. How about we break into alphas bedroom and steal some more clothes?” he wiggled a brow down at you.
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His hand wrapped around your wrist holding your hand still, so he could kiss your fingertips. You rolled your eyes, beginning to squirm in his grasp.
You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him flush against you. Kyle's head immediately found your neck, taking a deep inhale. The bitterness was gone leaving a mouth-watering aroma behind.
You two had curled up in his bed after dinner.
John and Simon had returned an hour before dinner. Kyle and Johnny quickly distracted you as they both made their way to their rooms. You heard the shower turn on immediately after. They hadn't said a word to you about it afterwards and you didn't pry. The looks on their faces were enough to let you know they had handled it. For dinner they let you pick whatever you wanted and you chose Chinese. All of you sat at the counter eating together like a true pack.
You didn't miss the way they looked at you. Their eyes lingered longer. You didn't quite have the energy to decipher each emotion. You felt as though you had proved yourself, though. Yes, you were a bit idiotic going off by yourself, but you held your own and were able to defend yourself. They had watched the footage, they knew.
It seemed to have hit John the hardest. Maybe it was alpha pride. The omega under his care got hurt and he couldn't prevent it. Or maybe he saw it as an attack against him. You hoped it was the easy answer; he didn't want to see you hurt.
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“Can I ask you something?” you whispered, your cheek pressed against his. He pulled back a bit, his darkened eyes staring into yours. “How did the relationship start between all of you?”
It had never been disclosed to you but you had your assumptions even before joining the pack. Only packs who could satisfy each other's needs refused to change.
“Me and ‘Tavish started it.” Kyle yawned, reburying his face in your neck. “Got in a fight actually- ended up working it out in a bit of an unorthodox way,” he explained, making you chuckle.
“What about John and Simon?”
“They’ve definitely been a thing for a long time- just have never been able to prove it.” he rolled over on his back, maneuvering you so you were lying against his chest. His fingers tracing small shapes against your thigh.
“When did all four of you decide to be together?”
“The night me and ‘Tavish got into it.” he rested his head against yours, his breath fanning your ear. You could feel his cheek twitch up into a smirk. “They watched.”
He chuckled at the sudden increase in your body temperature, your scent warming along with it. A wanting rumble vibrated in his chest but he made no move to act on it.
“Does it make your job harder?” you questioned suddenly. You knew what came with their job. The sacrifices they agreed to. What if something happened and they had to choose between each other or their objective? You curled further around Kyle.
“Lot more at stake,” he said quietly. “But, no. It doesn't.” you would have to be satisfied with the answer for now.
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“She called this home,” Johnny mumbled. Simon pulled his teeth away from the Scot's shoulder blades, flopping down on his back with a huff. He had been trying to warm Johnny up for the past fifteen minutes but the conversation always wandered back to you- and not in the way it usually does when they’re in bed.
“What else is she supposed to call it?” Simon questioned. He grabbed Johnnys' bicep and pulled him so his back was resting against his chest. Johnny growled, starting to pull himself away.
“Easy, mutt,” Simon growled, pulling him back. “Bloody heated over a situation that has been handled.”
“You weren't there.” Johnny finally snarled back. “By the time you got here, she wasn't dripping blood or crying or fucking terrified.”
It wasn't that Simon didn't care about you. He had spent the most time with you than anyone. In that time, he would be lying if he said you hadn't knocked down a few feet of the wall he had built up around himself. Johnny had a point. He probably would be much more bitter if he had been on the scene. He had watched it through the cameras, but it wasn't the same as being there when it was actually happening.
“You’re right.” Simon sighed, pressing a kiss against the mark on Johnny's shoulder. “We handled it though.”
“How’d you handle it?”
“The scratched-up one was easy to find. She got him good, really fucked up his eye. Slag had the bright idea to get treated at medical. Cap’ was so riled he nearly killed the bastard. Settled on broken legs though. The other one had a bit more brains- was hiding out. Was a fun game of cat and mouse, til it wasn't.” Despite the violence, Johnny’s body relaxed. That is what he needed to hear. That the bastards hadn't gotten away with anything. That they hadn't bloodied you up without consequences. “You did good, Johnny. Takin’ care of your omega." The praise warmed Johnny to the core.
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His time was 1:16 causing a few mouths to drop open.
“Hells bells, how'd you pull that off?” Johnny gawked, pressing the speaker button. Kyle shrugged behind the glass, opening the door to the ‘control room.’
“Don't know, mate. Just did.” he wasn't lying. Kyle had always been the fastest of the group but that was practically unheard of considering the duration of the test.
“Fucking beautiful,” Simon muttered, still reeling. You looked up from your mahjong puzzle not really getting what was so special. You had been unanimously voted into protective custody, meaning you got to follow the boys around all day. (just as long as you didn’t pay too close attention to what they were training for)
“I might know.” John said suddenly. His lips straightened in a line like he was trying to hold back a smile. Suddenly his eyes fell on you. You pushed your headphones back. “You two slept together last night, yeah?”
You flushed even though you knew that wasn't what he meant.
“I don't think I had any”-
“Makes sense,” Simon interjected. “Kyle beat his own record by nearly 30 seconds. That doesn't just happen.” he reasoned.
“Think you're right.” Kyle agreed. When he woke up that morning he had felt it. There was a warmth under his skin that made it easier to move- easier to think. He thought it was just because he had slept well. He should've known it was because of you.
“Well, I'll take credit I guess.” you sighed, tugging your headphones back on. Your eyes were brought away from your phone as Johnny took a knee before you.
“Hen, will you do me the greatest honor and sleep with me tonight?” his puppy dog eyes would be hard to refuse. You rolled your eyes but agreed. He obviously wasn't expecting it from the way his face lit up.
“Shite, I gotta wash my sheets.”
“Johnny!”
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It was no wonder he had to wear scent blockers all the time. His scent was addictive. Cinnamon and pine with a slight end note of orange. You had spent the last five minutes rolling around in his (clean) sheets.
“Enjoying yourself?” he snickered, hanging up his towel on his closet door. You looked over your shoulder, your half-lidded eyes meeting his. He groaned, quickly climbing into bed with you. “Better not get me in trouble, peaches.” he rasped. You wrapped around him before he was even flat against the mattress. He chuckled, his large hands grabbing your hips, moving you so you were curled up on top of him. His stubble scratched against your forehead as you buried your face in his neck. He purred, the sound catching you off guard. “Could get used to this.” he hummed, his own eyes growing heavy at the heated peachy scent in the air.
His hands wandered. Yet they couldn't be called inappropriate- and you certainly weren't opposed to it. His dull nails scratched against your back through the fabric of your shirt, before gliding down to your hips, his hands nearly gripping your bottom. They dove lower, grabbing the back of your thighs and giving them a squeeze before making his way back up, starting to play with your hair.
“Thank you for taking care of me yesterday,” you mumbled suddenly. You had practically melted into one at that point, but you still realized you hadn't thanked him.
“You can rely on me. You know that, aye?” he murmured back. He had proven that without a doubt. All of them had.
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Meanwhile, in his room, John’s body was on fire. He hadn't felt this way since- god he couldn't even remember.
“Think it's a cold?” Kyle questioned, removing his already sweated-through shirt.
“No.” John panted. The burning in his stomach only intensified, his mind was stuck on one thing and one thing only.
You.
“It's a fucking rut.”
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Hello everyone! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! See you in three days for chapter 13! 🧡
Dividers by @cafekitsune
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dognonsense · 1 year
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help tiktok kids want to try come at you with a seam ripper at shows for wearing an anti swastika patch.
[video description: begins with a tiktok of a young person holding a seam ripper. video transcription: why would i need to bring a seam ripper to a concert? So that if you see someone with a crossed out swastika on their jacket, you can rip it off. video description: Then a stitch video of a new speaker who is using a filter that makes them look like a face on a lemon. Video transcription: TikTok is the only place that I've seen anyone saying that they don't want Anti-Swas on the scene. I have only seen this on TikTok. The majority of the people I see sharing the sentiment are young, or, they are people who are clearly not in the punk scene. Sorry! Gonna have to call you out a little bit, but you know what? Calling people out? Especially posers? Is a time-honored tradition in our community, so, get used to it!
Anti-Swas is not as commonly misunderstood to be something that came into the scene to show Jewish punks that they're safe. It came into the scene to show white "mm" (representing redaction of supremacist) and Neo-"mm" (Nazis) that they are not safe in that crowd, in that group, in that event. That is why it's worn. And the people who wear that symbology, in my scene, historically, they wear it because they are about that. Meaning that they are going to enforce. That those individuals are not welcome.
I am a punk of Jewish heritage, I wear the symbols. The Anti-Swas. I have a shirt with a huge one on the front, I love wearing it. Patches, buttons, I love it. It makes me feel proud and happy. So let me tell you if you come at me and you rip a patch off of me, or a button off of me, with that symbology I am immediately going to assume that you are a white "mm" or a Neo-"mm" and I'm gonna hand your butt to you. Very quickly. And as hard as possible. I am going to focus all of my rage on that entire subgroup onto your face. So im gonna have to break it to you to break it to you! And also if you do it with a seam ripper which is like, the fuck? A seam ripper? Don't come to a scene with a seam ripper, that is so bizarre, you can't even rip a patch off with your bare hands? And you bring a seam ripper- (laughing). But anyways, when I realize it's a seam ripper and not a small weapon, I'm going to mock you mercilessly as I beat you.
White "mm" and Neo-"mm" would like nothing more than for us to get rid of that symbology. 'Cause then they blend in better. And then they can say that they're welcome. Or they can argue that. And we don't like leaving room for them to argue. Not in my scene. Also, getting rid of the Anti-Swas symbology is a little ableist, don't you think? A lot of white "mm" and Neo-"mm" can't read. End video transcription]
i understand why people dont agree or feel comfortable with anti swastika patches, but i want to allow this jewish person to say their opinion on the matter. They personally like it and think its effective at keeping nazi fucks out of the scene and are very proud to wear it out
just the mental image of a small lil tiktok kid approaching a guy in the pit like uwu lemme seam rip off ur patch for u
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mauesartetc · 9 months
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A while back I got a comment that demonstrated a misconception as to what the character design process actually entails, and I thought it had real "teachable moment" potential. So let me make this perfectly clear:
Drawing a character is NOT the same as designing one.
Let's say I wanted to draw a guy. No backstory, no defined personality traits or preferences, no details about his current life, just doodling some random, generic guy who popped into my head.
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That's just a drawing.
But what if I decided to flesh him out more? What if I wanted his appearance to reflect his lifestyle and inner life as well? Here's where the note-taking comes in.
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And now for the visual research:
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I thought the bodybuilding angle would provide a fun contrast with this guy's profession. The mental image of a huge, burly dude working on a clock or watch with tiny, precise movements just makes me smile. Perhaps I could give him small, nimble hands that would suit his line of work.
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Now that I have a better idea of how Mikhail's face and body will look, it's time to establish a pose.
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Of course, I never expected to employ all the personality traits I started out with inside this single pose; those were just a jumping-off point. No one drawing will ever be able to encapsulate every single facet of a character, unless they're extraordinarily flat and generic (see also: random guy I doodled at the start of this post). If I wanted to write a story with this guy, I'd have to figure out how all the traits play off each other and how they'd cause him to react to different situations. There would be a lot more note-taking and development involved, but for the sake of keeping this post (somewhat) brief, let's just focus on visuals for now.
On to color!
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I decided to give Mikhail a carnation in his pocket (for its round shape), specifically a red one, which represents deep love and an aching heart. Thus, the flower needed to maintain its red color for the symbolism to come through.
For some reason I initially pictured this guy wearing a pink shirt (perhaps as an offshoot of the "romantic" angle), but I wanted to try some different colors inspired by the 70s catalog pages I found. I ended up really liking the contrast of the cool blue shirt with the warm red pants, and that option made it into my top three as a result. I lined them up next to each other to compare them, and in the end, blue won out over pink. I think it also reflects the "colder", more cerebral, less-emotional parts of his personality well (namely "systematic", "stern", and "callous"- one from each column!). Just goes to show that you shouldn't get too attached to your first draft, as better ideas are just around the corner.
I then lightened the blue of the shirt so it wouldn't compete so much with the rest of the outfit, and wouldn't be quite as loud and "in your face". Mikhail strikes me as a bit of an introvert, so the calmer, quieter blue is a better fit. I added a darker belt and watchband and de-saturated the flower just a bit to make the values feel more balanced, and I think we've got it!
Let's see the final result!
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Y'all, I was not expecting this process to make me emotional, but there's something special about fully realizing a little guy you've spent hours working on. All of a sudden you look at him and go, "Oh my god, there he is. That's him." This man wasn't even a twinkle in my eye a couple weeks ago and now I'd protect him with my life.
And the thing is, the only reason I'm calling this design "done" for now is that I basically just brought it into existence to make a point. But if this dude were attached to a larger story, he'd be nowhere near finished. I'd have to make a ton more iterations and go a lot more in depth with my research than I did (especially with the Armenian cultural stuff). Overall, though, I hope this quick project properly highlighted the difference between a single drawing and a more fleshed-out character.
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Later!
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mgc02 · 1 year
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So I can not find FTM Hazbin smut so I made some. Keep in mind I'm Ace and this is my first smut
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First Time
Angel Dust x transmasc Reader
CW: Anal sex, Anal fingering, biting, marking
"So shy. That's cute babes..." Angel said standing there shirtless as you tried utter up the words. Just to sound like you were confident. Like weren't a mess around him. You were failing miserably. He giggled at you're flustered self sitting on the bed before climbing on top of you. All four arms caging you in. "You sure you want to do this?" He asked. "Yes!" You answered without hesitation. He pulled your shirt off leaving your binder on. He leaned back foward. His face was inches from yours. He leaned in to whisper in your ear. "Don't worry babies, I'll be in charge this time." He was well aware this was your first time having sex and he was planning on making this a night to remember. He met your lips in a kiss. His tongue swiping inside of your mouth. He tastes like vanilla and cigarettes. He makes out with you before kissing your neck. He covers your neck in pecks. The sensation puts in you in ecstasy before you feel the sharp pain as you bites down onto your neck.
The pain only turns you on more and then he suckles on the bite creating a prominent mark. He grabs you and flips you on your stomach. He begins to kiss the back of your neck down your back a little while running his bottom set of hands down your body. His top set of hands messaging your shoulders. Your eyes are half lidded enjoying the way Angel is caressing your body before the hands messaging your shoulders suddenly pin you down. And the lower set of hands running up and down your body begin to unbutton your pants. He pulls them down and now your boxers are the only things on your body keeping it up to imagination. He runs his hands down your thighs and back up all the way to your ass cheeks. He squeezes them which causes you to moan out loud. Your face turning a blush red. He pulls your boxers right off and feels up your cheeks some more. Suddenly he removes his hands from your ass and takes off his skirt and underwear, disgarding them off to the side. You look to see he was wearing a lacy thong and it sends a warm heat in your crotch. An image of him in nothing but that thong creeps its way in to your mind.
He leans in. You can feel his breath on your neck breaking you from your fantasies. "Are you ready?" You nodded and gasped at him nibbling your ear. He sits up. You are still restrained against the bed when you feel one of his fingers covered in lube breach your asshole. He slowly pushes it deeper and deeper. You feel so full. You wonder how his cock is going to fit but only for a moment because he begins thrusting his finger in and out. He starts out at a slow pace and then speeds up a bit. It's a pleasurable sensation that's quite hard to describe. He suddenly places a second finger in. Now he is plunging two fingers in. He continues to do this and you feel tightness building up as you moan his name. But just as you're about to climax Angel removes his fingers. You feebly attempt to turn your head but to no avail as you whine in protest.
"Relax, baby I'm just getting to the good part. That's all. You can't have ALL the fun, ya know." He lubricates his dick and pumps it a few times before you feel his tip make contact with your anus. He pushes in slowly. Stopping frequently so you can adjust. His dick is much bigger than two fingers it feels like. You squirm and twitch before it's in so deep you feel more full than you ever have. He waits a while for you to get used to it. You cry out when he first thrusts into you. He thrusts in and out and he begins to moan as he loves how tight you feel around his cock. He pumps in and out of you at a slow but steady pace. You moan and mewl and make an orchestra of unholy noises. He praises you.
"You're doing so good baby! You sound absolutely beautiful!" And with that he starts pounding into you now. It's a lot but it sends your heart racing and you feel that tightness coming back. "I'm close!" You shout. "Me too baby!" You felt a snap and a wave of pleasure. Angel continued to buck into you for a while until you felt him empty a heavy load into your ass which felt super wet from cum and lube. Angel pulled out leaving you feeling empty. You felt his hands restraining you release you as he fell next to you. Both of you breathing heavy. You looked at him and his happy exhausted expression made you feel warm inside. You relaxed as he pulled you onto his chest. You rested your head on his fluff. "I love you." You whispered. "I love you too" he responded softly. You both fell asleep that night in each other's embrace.
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emblazons · 8 months
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so I swore I was not going to start speculating off of set images, but given the one's we've gotten of Dustin so far, I cannot help myself (plus it's fun). Still: none of the theories I've seen so far make as much sense to me as this being tied to Dustin's trauma and him having a Vecna Vision/Flashback, which becomes clearer the more you put the details revealed in the images into the context we've been given by S4 + The Duffers.
First, the images I'm referencing (TW: IMAGE SPOILERS):
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Separately, these things (the basketball players, Dustin's hellfire fit being the same at both the grave and school + him wearing Eddie's rings + Mike's hair & attire) all feel a bit disparate...until you remember the things both Dustin is trying to cope with (Eddie's death + feeling like an outsider) and the Duffers have said re: Eddie and his effect on the characters (listen if you can, its only 3 min). Why?
Well, because we know for a fact that 1) Dustin and Mike were the ones who felt most aligned with Eddie given their being bullied—
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—even though we spent all of S4 building the bond between Dustin and Eddie in particular, because Mike was in California with Will.
Similarly (and while I know it's not primary canon), we get this context from Lucas in Lucas on the Line, which corroborates Dustin's comment about Lucas "making all his sports friends" and feeling deeply betrayed by that fact—
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—and even stuff about Mike's appearance "not changing" (pre-hellfire, in the moments he's still in S3/regressive conformist territory +not embracing himself)....something that Eddie talks about in S4 when he comments on the look Mike had when he met him.
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(I've also already commented on that Mike's shirt looks a lot like the one El wears post Rink-O-Mania in S4—which plays a lot into the idea of Mike giving El a shirt that represents conformity to him (just like her being his girlfriend does, given he cannot be himself in front of her at all in S4).
Combining all of these things though—Dustin being the only one who is in the Hellfire shirt (while all the other extras look a very "S1 good suburban kid" I/ first day of school), Mike showing up (also looking like his 'conformist' self in contrast), Basketball players being on the scene (the people Dustin felt stole Lucas from him)...combined with him in the same outfit at the grave of the person he felt defended him from those losses and challenges in high school?
It's giving Dustin's grief / worst thoughts thrown back at him 100%.
Given that Eddie, who he lost in an extremely traumatic fashion is the one who said forced conformity (which Mike is showing up dressed as alongside Lucas's basketball friends) killed the kids—
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—and now they are facing off with Vecna (and Henry by extension, whose says shit like THIS) on top of asking people to "join him" in his displeasure with the world when he 'takes their souls?'
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On top of the fact that we KNOW for a fact there is time fuckery coming for us...and it's likely enough that it's 'now 'canonically 1986 (or near it), which is reminiscent of this moment (likely remembered and traumatizing for Dustin specifically)?
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Yeah. Flashback / lead up into Vecna torture is exactly what it gives to me—the things causing the event / the moments that lead into the torture. Especially knowing the scenes shot first (aka now) are generally more SFX complex because they take the most time.
bonus: @magentamee also brought up some great points on this theory here!
bonus bonus: I wrote something on Dustin and standing apart from relationship conformity as early as S3 here and wrote up the relationship he has with nonconformity today, which I think plays into his feelings of alienation / what Vecna might pull him apart from his friends by showing him.
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starlitiris · 3 months
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making the phantom troupe ✨ neurodivergent ✨
before getting into this I wanna say that i'm not including Kalluto, Hisoka or Illumi in this and I didn't add Kortopi, Bonolenov or Franklin cause I didn't know what to do for them </3
and! a handful of these neurdivergencies are things I also have, but if any of you have something mentioned here and you feel like I misrepresented the condition/got something wrong, please let me know and correct me!
i'd also love to hear what your guys' neurodivergent/disorder headcanons are for the phantom troupe PLEASE do not be shy
okay enough yapping, here are the headcanons
Nobunaga
ADHD out the ass
Bro can and will zero in on something aggressively and not realize how much time has passed till his stomach growls or someone else gets his attention
Almost ALWAYS forgets what he walked into a room for and sometimes won’t be able to remember for hours
He zones out a lot when Troupe members are trying to explain something to him that he has zero interest in
CHRONIC LEG BOUNCER
And foot tapper
He also does little bouncies when he’s standing around
Please don’t ever give him a pen that clicks
He’ll click it nonstop and won’t even realize he’s doing it until someone brings attention to it
He for sure has his moments where he's feeling extra irritable or anxious for seemingly no reason
Feitan
AUTISM OUT THE ASS
No, I’m not headcanoning this because he’s apathetic
Miss me w that shit
He’s just an apathetic person because of everything he’s been through
Not great at masking but he does mask
HATES being touched do NOT TOUCH HIM ew
Exclusively wears long sleeves. Cannot stand short sleeved shirts, he hates the way it feels on his arms
Misses a lot of emotional social cues and his apathetic nature certainly doesn’t help with that but it’s not like he cares much
The Troupe is used to him being like this so they aren’t too bothered
Thinks he looks fucking stupid when he stims so he tries not to unless he’s completely alone
He will let loose a LIIITTLE when he’s alone with just Phinks though since those two are pretty close but he still tries to make his stimming as non-obvious as possible
It also helps for him to stim with his hands in his pockets
He often taps his thumb and index finger together or rubs his knuckles
REALLY hates feeling cold and can't stand the sticky feeling of dried blood on his skin
Despite this, he rarely wears gloves when he's "working" simply because he no no wanna
Phinks HAS called him out on this. A few times.
Machi
Dyslexic
Hates it
So much
Seriously doesn’t understand why she can’t just fucking READ and SPELL as easily as everyone else
Like she KNOWS how to read and spell so like???? WHY does she even struggle with it it should be such an easy thing to do
That’s how she thinks
She gets embarrassed when people catch her struggling to read or spell something
It makes her feel dumb and she hates it :[
Thank god for ai assistants like siri and shit
She definitely uses them to ask how to spell things when no one else is around and she can’t remember
Gets kinda pissed at herself when she realizes way too late that she made a typo on something
Phinks
Prosopagnosia (face blindness) and aphantasia (when you can’t form mental images in your head)
Thought his aphantasia was completely normal for THE LONGEST time
He almost didn’t believe it when other Troupe members were telling him that they could clearly form mental images in their heads
It was a huge “what the fuck” moment for him
The amount of times he’s heard the phrase “you don’t remember me?” just cause he couldn’t recognize someone by their face alone
Of course he’s still able to recognize people from their voices, clothes, hair, body shapes, etc
But when it comes to people he doesn’t see often, he’s completely lost until he’s told the person’s name and where they met and shit
He’s offended quite a few people by not recognizing them
They assume he couldn’t be bothered to remember them but in reality he probably would if he could remember faces
Shalnark
He has bipolar 1
His mania doesn’t get too crazy but it’s noticeable for the Troupe and any other people that he spends a lot of time with
His highs tend to be more intense than his lows but he definitely still has his lows
And the lows are also noticeable
He gets bags under his eyes from having a difficult time falling asleep and STAYING asleep, and he has a very clear decrease in energy
Sometimes Troupe members feel the need to ask him if he’s feeling alright but he always answers with “yeah I’m fine!” and moves on
The amount of shit he's bought on impulse though
He's good at managing his finances until he's manic and sees something he wants
Bro won't look at price tags
"Ehh I'm sure it'll be fine!" two days later he's in the red and goes complaining to Troupe members about it as if he shouldn't have expected that
It's probably a good thing that his role in the Troupe is more centered around gathering information and not combat
I know damn well he'd get too cocky in a fight depending on wtf his brain chemistry is doing
Shizuku
Do i even need to say it
Bitch (respectfully) is autistic as hell
With some good ol’ ADD sprinkled in there
Her attention span suffers greatly
She can pick up a book or a manga and not put it down to eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom until she finishes it or is forced to put it down
She knows it’s a problem and she really does try to remember to take breaks
Very blunt as we all know
Feitan will struggle to pick up on sarcasm SOMETIMES and uses sarcasm himself
This is not the same for Shizuku
Sarcasm does not register in her brain
She tried using sarcasm once and didn’t do it right so she gave up
She does try to mask a little bit in some situations but mostly doesn’t care enough to
Doesn’t mind stimming in front of people as much as Feitan does but she still does it a lot more in private
Pakunoda
Bipolar 2
Her depressive episodes feel longer than they are
She’s gotten a lot better at managing it as she’s gotten older though
She likes to journal her feelings when she can, it personally helps her process and deal with her emotions
She also writes reminders for herself and sets alarms so she doesn’t forget to take care of herself when she’s not feeling too well
Makes sure to praise herself for small victories! :)
She still has her days where she can’t bring herself to do some things, though days like those are less common now than they used to be
Her appetite definitely suffers because her depression, but the reminders and alarms she sets help her remember to eat, even if it has to be something small
She makes sure to get some self care in when she can, too. It's important to her
Uvogin
I hereby bestow thee with dyscalculia and OCD
Being anal about doing things at specific times is only a tiny sliver of his OCD-ness
Sometimes he’ll read the time on a clock wrong and he’ll panic for like 0.2 seconds
It fuckin stresses him out man
Sometimes he’ll tease Machi for having a hard time reading or forgetting how to spell/write a word and she’ll hit him with the “ok what’s 12 x 12 🧍”
Shuts him up real quick
He can count, add, subtract, multiply and divide but it still takes him a minute sometimes
He’ll just give up if he has to do math with fractions, decimals, numbers longer than three digits and any other complicated bullshit
He kinda gave up learning math when it started to literally give him headaches trying to figure it out so simple division and multiplication is as far as he cared to learn
If he’s faced with any math equation that intimidates him he will not even try
He just uses his phone or asks someone else to solve it for him
Okay back on the topic of OCD
He definitely has his repetitive movements that he does
They aren’t too obvious but the rest of the Troupe does notice them from time to time
Nobunaga said something about it one time and Uvo just brushed it off and changed the subject
He doesn’t like bringing attention to it
He also WILL recount and reread things multiple times
Most of the time he’ll only need to recount/reread something like 3-5 times but on bad days he’ll do it 10+ times
It is stressful
Phinks saw him recounting something like 13 times once and was like “bro u good?” and Uvo just snapped at him for fucking up his count
Chrollo
Autism and major depressive disorder
Masking KING (this is not a good thing)
Very touch avoidant like Feitan
He knows he struggles with some social cues and interactions and will sometimes overthink what he’s doing to avoid missing things or doing things wrong
He’s often hyper aware of what he’s doing and what the person he’s talking to is doing
One of his most common ways to stim is by rubbing things - like the corners of pages in his books, or the ends of his sleeves
Loathes being in loud areas. Please why is everyone talking so loud shut the fuck up Chrollo can’t hear himself think
There’s been times where he had to be in loud and bustling places for extended periods of time and once he was alone and in a quiet place he’d feel so so very drained and be nonverbal for hours
Really bad insomnia probably related to his MDD
Lays in bed for HOURSSSS unable to fall asleep
The amount of times he’s had to run on 2-3 hours of sleep is unreal
Listening to calm music and whale noises seems to help him fall asleep a little bit though
Don’t get me wrong he has good days, he’s not completely miserable, but MAN is this guy depressed
On bad days he’ll likely only have one meal or not eat at all
Phantom Troupe be damned if they notice he hasn’t eaten all day
Chrollo will insist he’s fine but some Troupe members aren’t having it
Sometimes someone like Paku or Shal will just go out and get him some food and place it in front of or next to him expectantly
Usually he’ll give up and eat the food
Unless he’s in a bad mood
I will say though, most days he eats at least two meals so it’s not like this is a super common occurrence
48 notes · View notes
heygerald · 3 months
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Falling Without A Harness - Chapter 5
AU where Tom Ryder is still an asshole, just not a psychotic one. When he has good news, but no one to share it with, Parker invites him along to her brother's birthday party. A moment of weakness, or a moment for him to prove he's more than just his Hollywood ego?
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"—and Jody said she was going to wear something simple, maybe jeans and a t-shirt, but I'm not really sure I want to match that vibe or go for something a little more, you know, fun. Maybe I could finally break out the bucket hat tonight," Colt's voice droned on from the phone tucked indelicately into the crevice of her neck and shoulder. Parker was only half listening, as was the usual when it came to her brother's incessant rambling about anything related to the pretty blonde camerawoman, and while he talked, she made work of slowly peeling strips of painters tape from the freshly painted wall. The ball in her hand was nicely sized by this point of the conversation. "So, anyway... uh, wait, what was the point?"
"Was there a point?" she mused aloud. "I stopped listening when you started talking about some pony she rode once at her twelfth birthday party."
She heard him snap his fingers. "Right—the birthday party."
"Hers or yours?"
"Mine! Listen, I know that you all put a lot of work into planning this shindig—"
"Shindig? God, you're old!"
"—but I would really appreciate if you told me what to expect tonight. Just a hint will do. I'm not trying to show up wearing dress shoes to a disco if you know what I mean."
Parker stuck another piece of tape onto the ever-growing ball with a blithe snort. "I never know what you mean."
"Park," he whined, much like a child, and not the thirty-something year old man that he was. Was this year number thirty-seven or thirty-eight? She should probably figure that out before putting candles on his cake. "Come onnnnnn. Just tell me. Just a hint!"
"And ruin the surprise? No way, Jose."
"But it's my birthday surprise! You can spoil it for me. I mean, realistically, no one would blame you if, maybe, you accidentally let the surprise slip. It'd be expected coming from you, actually."
She frowned. "What do you mean it would be expected coming from me?"
"Well, you know, you can't keep a secret to save your life."
Parker tossed the ball of tape into the trash and picked up the broom with an indignant scoff. "Excuse me, I am a very good secret keeper."
A long winded and high-pitched whine followed, and she winced at the volume of it. Parker switched the phone to her other ear, certain that between her brother and Melissa she had permanent hearing damage.
"Oh, so now all of the sudden you're a locked vault!" he blathered on. "Where was this dedication to silence when I got sick at Macy Lindwigs wedding and you spent the entire evening telling everyone you could find?"
An image of Macy Lindwig, dressed to the nines in a beautiful handmade wedding dress, staring in horror as her brother puked in an azalea bush three minutes before the ceremony started came to mind.
"Oh, I totally forgot about that," she snickered, the memory almost too sweet to ignore now that it had been brought back up. "You ruined her heels that night, you know. What was I supposed to do? Not tell everyone?"
"For starters. Or, at the very least, you could have refrained from blabbing about it at Christmas," he muttered petulantly. "Grandma never looked at me the same way again. She still won't let me near her rose garden."
"Cause and effect," Parker chirped. "You drank one too many tequila shots the night before, and thus, you have to suffer the fate of Grandma judging you every Christmas Eve."
"Miami Vice premiered the night before!" he argued, shouting, in what she suspected was a deranged manner. Parker hoped he was somewhere public; perhaps a grocery store or laundromat. "Just another example of how you can't keep a secret for the life of you, not even when your brother's good name is at stake. Your only true sibling, might I add."
"And here I thought I was an orphan found in a box."
She could hear Colt kicking something, palm clasped over the speaker as he whined, before he was back. "You're worse than Judas, you know. You ruin lives just for the fun of it, no silver needed."
"Are you offering silver?"
A cough. "Uh, I mean, I'm a little tight on silver at the moment. I think I have a free sub from Publix somewhere around here."
"A coupon. Wow. So generous."
"It's a punch card, and those aren't easy to fill out, you know," he huffed indignantly, obviously put out that Parker wasn't going to accept his lackluster offer. "What if I say pretty please?"
"Ha! Nice try. I happen to like Jody, so even if I wanted to tell you what we're doing tonight—which I don't—I'm not going to. She was really excited to help me plan this year."
Some spluttering followed her resolution, before he was kicking something again. Apparently, whatever he kicked was harder than he thought, however, and the next moment her brother was wheezing in pain.
"Jesus, take it easy, alright? You're going to need your toes for tonight."
In a breathless voice, he weaseled, "tonight at...?"
But Parker was no novice when it came to keeping secrets from her brother, and so she didn't fall for the trick. "Ha, nice try," she snorted while stooping to sweep her pile of dust and paint chips off the ground. Shades of green and white stained her hands, but she didn't bother to clean them off. It would be a pointless endeavor, after all, considering what they had planned for Colt's birthday party later that evening. "I'm trying to stay on Jody's good side."
"Both of her sides are good sides," was his immediate response, something wistful coloring his tone. "She's gorgeous. If you haven't noticed."
"Trust me," Parker deadpanned with a blithe glance at her own disheveled appearance, "I've noticed."
"Do you think I should bring her flowers?"
"To your birthday party?"
"Girls like flowers. Plus, she's planning the whole thing."
"I helped!"
"I'm not bringing you flowers to my birthday party, Park. It's not about you, you know."
"Right, of course, how could I have forgotten?" she deadpanned. However, despite his disinterest in showing her any gratitude, Parker smiled at the concept that there was a man out in this world so infatuated by a woman, that he not only spent all his time talking about her, but he also wanted to bring her flowers for no good reason. If only she could find someone like that who wasn't her brother. Wishes and wants, she supposed. "As nice of a thought as that is, don't bring her flowers tonight. They'll end up wilted by the time she gets back home from the party. If they aren't totally trashed first, that is."
His tone pitched higher, eagerly. "Trashed? Why would they be trashed? Are we doing some floral vandalism tonight? Oh!" Colt cried, hands clapping together. "Are we going to a wreck-it room? I've always wanted to do something like that. You know, somewhere that wasn't on a set, anyway, where I'm being beat up for a living with props."
Parker covered the speaker of her phone to curse at herself. While she hadn't ruined the surprise, Colt was like a dog with a hambone, and was not likely to let it go anytime soon.
She cleared her throat and attempted indifference. "Not even close," she said, but it didn't sound super convincing, and with an exasperated huff, she threw her hands up. "Jesus, Colt, you're going to get me into trouble! Just chill out. Jody should be picking you up soon, anyway."
"Picking me up soon for...?"
Colt's whining was interrupted by the tinkle of the front bell, and as she switched her phone back to her right ear, Parker took a moment to scoop up the paint-splattered tarp sprawled across the floor.
Melissa had been on to something with her suggestion to repaint the store, and while they had only gotten the walls finished over the past two and a half weeks, the mossy green color with gold accented picture frames really gave some life back to her shop. It still had that musty smell, as well as a pair of flickering lightbulbs from the janky electrical sockets, but they were definitely taking a step in the right direction. The color made everything feel cozier, and once they coated the bookshelves with shades of blue and yellow and replaced the overhead fluorescents with something warmer, she thought it might look like an entirely new store for the price of a few gallons of paint.
Not to mention the color stood out from the recent tan and brown trend that had swept across Hollywood hills. Win, win.
"Ugh! Stop trying to spoil your own surprise and let it happen, alright? You're going to love it," she pacified half-heartedly while booting a stool out of the way. Too deep of a breath had the smell of laquear and paint fumes killing off some braincells, and Parker dropped the tarp along with the rest of the paint materials with a cross-eyed huff. "Plus, it was all Jody's idea, so if you hate it, I would keep that to your..."
Parker paused halfway up the aisle.
On the far end of it, a brown and black colored dog sat patiently wagging its tail at her. Its tongue was sticking out of the side of its mouth, but despite Elon Musk's predictions about the existence of intelligent life in the galaxy, she was pretty sure that the local population of Hollywood mutts had yet to grow opposable thumbs capable of opening a door.
She blinked at it.
"Er, listen," she muttered into the phone, gaze darting past the dog, but not seeing its owner. "I have to go. There's a dog situation that I need to take care of."
"A dog? I've been asking you for years to get a dog, and now you finally decide to get one on my birthday! That's so totally fu—"
Parker hung up before he could complain any further, and slowly tucked her phone into the back pocket of her jeans. The dog barked at her, as if excited to finally have her attention.
"Er—hi. Did you—how did you get in here?" she asked.
It responded by tilting its head to a ninety-degree angle. She stared, waiting, as if the language barrier would suddenly disappear.
Unsurprisingly, it didn't. The dog barked a second time.
"I don't have any treats on me," she said again, not sure else what to say, but certainly feeling like she should say something. It trotted towards her, and though it seemed friendly at first, when it stuck its head into her crotch to take too deep a sniff for comfort, Parker jumped backwards. "Ah—fuck! Buy a girl dinner first, huh?"
She sidestepped the dog, hands splayed out in front of her like she was a robbery victim, and did her best to avoid being felt up as the dog followed her towards the storefront. It nosed her rear end, and Parker let out an undignified squeak.
"Jesus! I know the humane society is underfunded and all, but this is a little ridiculous, don't you think?" she asked it.
The dog darted in front of her, nose going right back for the crotch, and Parker just barely managed to leap onto Melissa's sunken reading chair when an increasingly familiar head of blonde hair stepped out from behind one of the bookshelves.
"Talon, Jean Claude," he said, and as though the dog hadn't just been harassing her, it plopped down onto the floor right beside him. Dog and owner blinked at her in bemusement. "Don't seriously tell me that you're afraid of dogs."
Parker shot him a disgruntled glare in response, but Tom didn't seem to mind the heat packed behind it. Instead, he smirked at her, crossed one arm over the other, and languidly leaned back against the front counter.
It was obvious he was laughing at her, and not with her, and Parker added it to the list of all the things she couldn't stand about Tom Ryder. Worse though, she couldn't help but subconsciously smooth a hand over her hair, because where Jody was effortlessly gorgeous, Parker required quite a bit of effort not to look awful. And right now, with paint-stained pants, a half-assed pair of dutch braids, and miscolored converse, she was certainly not showing him her good side.
If she even had one, that is.
"I should have known you would have a pervy dog," she said while looking down her nose at him. Literally, too, considering she was still standing on the chair. Parker flushed a bright red at the realization and none-too-glamorously clambered down onto her feet. "And French, too. I think that's stereotyping, Ryder."
Despite the distrustful look she shot the dog, he seemed a whole lot less pervy and rabid now that she knew he had an owner, and when she approached it, its tail flapped back and forth excitedly.
"Insulting an entire country?" Tom harrumphed as she started to scratch the dog between its ears. "Maybe you should sit through PR training with me next time Gail hosts a session."
She blew a bland raspberry as she read the dog's name tag.
Jean Claude. Huh. Cute.
He let out a low whine when she hit a particularly sensitive spot, and in delight, he rolled onto his back with half-lidded eyes.
"Is this the one you were talking to the other day, or do you have any other expat mutts that I should know about? I can only be felt up so many times before I file a harassment complaint."
"Jean Claude isn't a mutt," he corrected her, disdain at the very idea of owning a mutt. Parker supposed adopting a kennel-dog was likely below him, being a superstar and what not. "He's an Australian Kelpie, pure-bred, and he certainly wasn't fucking cheap. His parents are award winning cattle dogs in the Australian circuit."
"That's an award category?"
"Hmph. Laugh all you want, but I'd bet he's better trained than you are. He's even trained to attack someone in the balls on command."
"So am I," she sassed while making kissy faces at Jean Claude. "Oh, he's cute. Yes, you are. Yes, you are," she cooed.
He ate it right up, tail flapping in every direction, and when she spared Tom a glance, she could feel the jealousy rolling off him that someone else was getting more attention. Dog or not. Parker snickered.
"Sorry you're stuck with this one," she added, jerking a thumb over her shoulder to gesture in Tom's general area. "But trust me, you're way cuter, and probably lower maintenance than he is."
Tom cleared his throat. "Are you done?"
"Jealous?"
"Of a dog?" he deadpanned, rolling his eyes beneath a pair of expensive Ray Bans—not at all disproving the theory—and Parker smiled at her private joke. "Hardly."
She leaned closer to Jean Claude, and spoke in a stage whisper, "I think he's jealous."
And—yup—that seemed to do it.
Tom pushed off the counter with a sharp huff, unamused by her teasing, and make a command in French. Jean Claude bounded onto his feet, trotted to where Tom was, and curled up between his legs.
Parker stood and planted her hands onto her hips. "Real mature."
"I can always show you his attack command," Tom threatened. "I doubt you'll find him as adorable when he attacks you. It's always a hit at parties, watching someone get their balls bitten off."
"I think I'm missing a critical component for that trick to work," she pointed out with a dry smile. "But, anyway, what are you doing here? If you came to return my books, they're yours, considering how much you paid for them the other day."
He shrugged. "Maybe I want my change."
"You came all the way here, through traffic, to get your change?" she echoed, clearly disbelieving his piss poor excuse. Under her stare, Tom shuffled uncomfortably on his feet. "Hm. I thought I was supposed to be the penny pincher between the two of us."
"Maybe it's not the money I care about. It's the principle of the whole thing."
"Ha! You expect me to believe that you have principles?"
Tom huffed, but she caught the crooked upturn of his mouth. Still, he played the victim—always acting, this one. "You're right. I don't just deserve change. I should get a full refund, considering how awful your book recommendations were. Not to mention the books practically fell apart when I touched them. Clearly, you sell cheap products."
"Clearly," she muttered, while flipping the sign on the front door from OPEN to CLOSED. There wasn't much going on outside, anyway, and she doubted she would be missing any customers by taking the day off early.
"You want to tell me what you're really doing here? Because we both know you liked my recommendations," she said matter-of-factly, moving to the cash register now. She had made a few sales throughout the day, more than a typical Friday, and so she carefully began stacking her receipts. "I mean, who wouldn't? Those are good books I gave you. Contact is in my top ten."
Tom leaned on the counter. "Books I bought."
She waved him off, stack of receipts in hand, as she locked the lower cabinet. Tom could complain all he wanted, but she did know that he liked her book recommendations. He had finished them all within a week, when he likely should have been spending more attention devoted to practicing for his audition. Granted, it was a sci-fi movie he was auditioning for, but—
She startled.
"Oh, duh!" Parker sprung to her full height with a curious look. "Did you get the part?"
Tom smirked.
It wasn't bashful or pleasant or soft like authors typically described their tall, dark, and handsome characters, but it was so very him that she hardly minded it. In fact, Parker sort of liked it. It crinkled the soft lines by his eyes, loosened the tension in his shoulders, and made him look younger. Nicer. Cuter.
"Of course I did," he sassed. "I told you I was going to get it."
She ignored his blatant peacocking to punch him in the shoulder. The action seemed to shock him, and Tom clutched the spot with his other hand—as if she had done some real damage—while Parker grinned. "Holy shit, that's great! I mean, sure, you were a shoo-in or whatever, but this is a big deal. Right? It's a big deal? You must be jumping off the walls right now!"
Tom gave a bemused huff, eyes darting over the length of her face, and nodded. "Biggest movie I've gotten yet," he said. "My first sci-fi film too, so, that's going to get my name out there even more than it was. I mean, if I thought I was well known before... after this, everyone will know who Tom Ryder is."
"That's awesome!"
Tom rolled his eyes at her enthusiasm, clearly not buying into it, and though Parker was so excited on his behalf, Tom seemed like he was fighting off indifference to the news. "Yeah, well, a role's a role, you know."
"Well, yeah," she hedged, waving a hand at him, "but this is your first sci-fi role, and it was one that you even told me you wanted to get. You must be at least a little excited for it. Sci-fi is so interesting, I bet filming it is gonna be a ton of fun."
"Sure," he echoed dryly. His smirk had returned, and though she wouldn't necessarily classify what his face was doing now as a smile, it was certainly close. "Fun. That's what I'm aiming for in my career: fun."
"Oh, please," she clucked her tongue at him, receipts shoved hastily into their folder. "You can be a huge movie star and still have fun doing it. I mean, isn't that the point? Doing something you love and all that. I'd imagine it's going to be a whole new experience for you, stepping into a sci-fi set."
He hemmed, mouth twisting between a smile and a frown. "I guess."
He didn't sound all that convinced. In fact, when Parker thought about it, she seemed to be far more excited about the role than he did. She tilted her head at him suspiciously. "Alright, well... what are you doing to celebrate?" she asked. "A vacation? Buying yourself a new car? Oooh—Legoland?"
He furrowed his brows at her in surprised. "Legoland?"
"It's what I would do," she shrugged. "Probably, anyway. I've never been because the tickets just don't seem worth the price, but if I had just landed a giant role in a giant blockbuster, I think buying a ticket would be the least of my worries. You could probably even write it off on your taxes."
He blinked at her. "Poor people are so sad to me."
She stuck her tongue out at him, and took delight in the way that he huffed in amusement. "Well? Come on—make me jealous—what are you doing?"
Tom shrugged. "Gail's throwing a big party next week to announce the role. She always does that. Invites her producer friends and talent agents and that sort of stuff. There'll probably be some sort of attraction, singers or a zebra or something."
"Casual," she snorted.
"She has a weird thing for exotic animals, I don't know."
"Seems like it. But that's what she's doing, what are you doing?" she needled further. "I mean, I assumed you would do a big party with your friends before then. You know—cops get called, party crashers—the whole scene."
Tom hesitated to answer, and when he did, he didn't sound all that much like himself. "Well, I can't really do that—she controls when I make go public with the news—has the whole timeline figured out, and manages all the press for it. She doesn't let me tell people ahead of time."
"I'm people."
He rolled his eyes. "You're a nobody," he said. Not to be mean; no, Tom was very clear in his words when he intended to be mean. Instead, he had said it nonchalantly, as if it was a universal truth that everyone understood. And, in all honesty, Parker got it. "I mean, who are you going to tell that would care, you know?"
"Okay, ouch," she muttered still, before barreling on. "Don't you have any non-work friends that you can go get drinks with?"
"All my friends are work friends."
"What about people that don't know Gail?"
Tom huffed and waved a hand at her. "That's the same thing, you know. She introduced me to everyone I know in the industry. Other than some set hands, we have the same circle."
Parker sank onto her heels, feeling slighted on his behalf, but knowing that she didn't really have a right to. Surely, Tom Ryder would have stood up to Gail if he didn't like her hands-on, helicopter parent approach to managing his life. And clearly their work relationship was beneficial to them both. He certainly didn't need a nobody like her feeling sorry for him.
And yet, she did.
Because, as she listened to him talk, it felt like he had to give up everything just to be a somebody in Hollywood. And while it might have been the norm for him, it was absolutely not the norm for everybody.
Did he even realize that?
"Fuck that," Parker said before she could think better of it, emotions getting the better of her. Colt always joked that she had a bleeding heart, but she had never thought there was anything wrong with that. "Come hang out with me, then."
Tom arched a brow at her, mouth parted dumbly. "...what?"
She shrugged, feeling a little like a specimen beneath a microscope, and struggled to explain herself. "I mean, you just said that Gail doesn't want you telling anybody that matters, and I only hang out with people that don't matter in the grand scheme of Hollywood politics. I'm getting ready to head to Colt's birthday party after this, and if you're not doing anything else, you may as well come with me. It won't be a celebration for you, obviously, but... it'll be fun."
He blinked at her slowly, surprise written in the fine lines of his face.
"We're not going to murder you," she huffed indignantly.
"I—I never hang out with Colt or those guys."
"Yeah, for good reason. They all sort of hate you for being an asshole on set to them. Like, all the time. I wouldn't want to hang out with you outside of work either, if I was them."
He scowled. "Oh, well, when you put it like that," he huffed. "Obviously, they're not going to want me to come. And, I may be an asshole, but I try not to gatecrash birthday parties."
She waved his concern away with a paint-stained hand. "First off, you won't be gatecrashing, I'm literally extending an invite. And secondly, they only hate you because you're a prick on set. What better way to prove that you're not a prick, by coming to Colt's birthday party, and—you know—actually being nice for once. Just don't be a dickwad. Or an asshole. Or any sort of thing that you usually are on a normal day."
"I think the saying is 'always be yourself'," he deadpanned.
"That absolutely doesn't apply here."
"Smartass."
Parker nudged him in the shoulder with an exasperated look. "Come on! What else are you going to do? Do some irresponsible spending and buy everyone a round of drinks. I bet they'll think differently of you after everybody is a few beers in."
Tom didn't seem too convinced with her logic. "Crashing his birthday party doesn't seem the best way to get on Colt's good side. I didn't even know it was his birthday."
"Now you do," she shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal. And—well—her brother was probably going to bitch about Tom's presence at the party, but Parker also believed that after a few shots of liquor, everyone would get over the issue fairly quick. Not to mention the party itself was designed for stress relief. Bringing Tom may actually make the night. With a conniving wiggle of her brows, Parker tried again. "I know for a fact that there's room for one more. Jody and I planned the whole thing together, and if she's allowed a plus-one, so am I. Jean Claude can even come. Colt loves dogs."
Tom seemed to sway a little further with her reasoning, and with a slow nod, he finally agreed. He certainly didn't look happy about it though.
Parker punched the air. Oh, Colt is going to love this.
"Awesome! Give me a minute to lock up, and then we can go."
"Fine," he huffed, not too unlike that of a sulky toddler. "But I'm driving."
Parker smiled. Her car was a piece of shit that barely worked on a good day. She was going to insist he drive in the first place. Plus, now, she could get really drunk.
"Fine by me," was all she said, not eager to give away that piece of information just yet. "Just promise me you won't be an asshole. I won't be able to keep my reputation of favorite sister if you ruin the night."
"I'm not going to ruin the night," he snarked with a petulant glare. Parker shrugged, grabbing her things, as he asked, "...wait, I thought you were his only sister?"
"Exactly. Now, come on, I want to get there before they start assigning teams."
The bell rang as she stepped outside, Jean Claude trotting with her, and Tom hesitated for a brief moment before what she said caught up to him.
"Wait," he called, jogging after her. "What do you mean teams?"
---
Tom's presence did not go unnoticed. In fact, it had taken a mere three minutes before Jody was elbowing her to the side, a stern, disbelieving look furrowing her brows. She had let it go in a huff, however, when Parker pointed out that Tom had promised to be on his best behavior, as well as promised to buy the first round of drinks once the game was over.
That had been a lie, of course, but she supposed she could deal with that tantrum later.
Colt, on the other hand, hadn't been so easily placated, and as the twenty odd players stood in a circle, listening to the instructor drone on about safety, he weaseled next to her with a glare.
"I can't believe you brought Ryder," he hissed for the third time that night, hot breath on her face. She would have shoved him away if the instructor hadn't already reprimanded then twice for being distracting. "I mean, seriously Park, I can't stand the guy."
"Oh, really? I couldn't tell."
"Really!"
"Well, I'm sorry," she shrugged, although the apology was half-hearted at best, and Colt seemed to know this as he narrowed his eyes at her irritably. She huffed. "What was I supposed to do? Leave him behind?"
"Yes," Colt whisper-yelled. Dan glanced over his shoulder at the pair, and in perfect Seavers' sibling unison, they plastered fake smiles onto their faces with a friendly wave. He shook his head at them, but likely didn't think they were worth whatever trouble they caused, and faced forward once more. "That's exactly what you should have done!"
"It's not that easy," she argued, hissing as well. "He looked so sad! Like a little abandoned puppy dog that had just been kicked. It was a moment of weakness!"
"Oh, really?" Colt drawled. Together, they glanced over at Tom to find him ignoring everyone in the group with his head stuck in his phone. When a fly buzzed too close, he swatted at it with an icy glare. "That? You couldn't say no to that?"
"I said I was sorry!"
Parker's voice hitched higher than she intended, and the instructor paused in his speech to glare at the duo. She gave him a weak smile in return, mouthing, a guilty, sorry!
The man only got two words back into his speech, however, before Colt started whining again.
"Look, I'm totally stoked about the surprise party, okay? You did a stand-up job on it and the guest list. So how could you fuck it all up so close to the finish line?"
"What the hell does that even mean?" she asked in bewilderment. Parker shook her head. "Seriously, you need to update your sayings."
"Update my—?" Colt bit off a groan, pinching the bridge of his nose to take a long, overdrawn breath. "Why was he even at your bookstore? Since when did you two become friends? What happened to the whole—asshole, asshole, asshole—bit you had going on?"
"I still think he's an asshole," she shot back. But, well, when she caught Tom's gaze across the grass, she faltered. Did she think he was an asshole at his core? Or had he simply become someone she was beginning to understand—a dog that lashed out when someone got too close? Parker rubbed circles into her temple. "And we're not friends. And, even if we were, you have no one to blame but yourself."
"Myself?" he echoed in disbelief. "What do I have to do with this?"
"You're the one that gave him my phone number."
Colt snorted, shaking his head at her. "Fat chance of that," he said. Parker, thinking he was joking at first, fell silent when he caught the look in his eye. But, if Colt hadn't given Tom her phone number, then who had? she wondered, mentally counting down the list of people it could have possibly been.
Bigger fish to fry, she reminded herself when the list made her go cross-eyed.
"Whatever. We're not friends or buddies or whatever you think we are, so you can stop worrying about that."
Colt snorted. "Oh, sure you're not. He just happens to hang out around your bookshop and you share recommendations and, oh yeah! You bring him as a plus-one to my birthday party!"
Parker scowled. "I made the guest list, I think I have a right to bring someone along with."
"Sure, someone. Not Jaws over there."
She frowned at him, thrown off by the random insult. "Jaws?" she echoed, crinkling her nose distastefully. "What does a shark have to do with this?"
Colt sighed. "No, not the shark, the James Bond villain."
"That's a stupid name for a villain."
"I didn't write the damn thing."
"Okay, well, maybe he has the arrogance of a James Bond villain, but at least pick one from this century."
"Silva?"
"Nah. Whose the the one with the weird eye?"
Colt hummed thoughtfully, gaze darting over towards Tom. "Le Chiffre?"
Parker snapped her fingers and pointed at him. "That one!"
"Yeah, alright, I'll give you that," he conceded, nodding. "He does give off Bond villain vibes with the sunglasses and hair-do."
"Right? Oh you should have seen these glasses he was wearing last time. They were huge, and yellow tinted; like Tony Stark would wear. They were so ridiculous."
Colt snickered for a moment, enjoying mocking Tom with his sister, before realizing that he was currently mad at her. He threw his head back with a subtle groan. "Stop doing that! I'm still mad at you!"
Parker gave her brother a blithe look. "I think you're looking at this all wrong."
"Wrong? What other way should I look at it?" he snarked. "With my eyes closed?"
Resisting the urge to smack him, Parker instead gestured to their instructor, the paintball gun in his hand, and then towards Tom. "You literally get the chance to chase down and shoot, Tom Ryder, bane of your existence or whatever. Shoot him. Think about all the welts and whining and, maybe, if you're lucky, the tears you can get out of this experience. Legally. Without getting fired or arrested. What's better than that, huh? It's your very own personal rage room."
Colt considered all of that silently. He swept his gaze from the large pile of paintball guns set off to the side, to the acres of arena in front of them with inflatable obstacles, and then to his blonde alter-ego sulking at the edge of the group.
He slung an arm around Parker's shoulder with the boyish grin. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"
Parker snorted, amused by his mood swings. "Not nearly enough. It's all Jody this, and Jody that anymore."
Jody, having finished listening to the instructor's demonstration, peered around Colt's shoulder to blink at the siblings. "What about me?"
Colt and Parker shared a silent look.
"Nothing," she said, whilst he cooed, "just talking about how pretty you are."
Jody blushed a bright rouge instantly, and Colt obviously took pleasure in that when he slung his other arm around her shoulder. Taking a deep breath, he let out a happy sigh. "My two ladies. Paintball. The smell of tears and blood on the horizon. What better way to spend a birthday?"
Parker glanced at Jody, expecting her to roll her eyes, but the camerawoman instead just smiled with something soft in her eyes.
Parker responded by wiggling out of Colt's reach. "Ew, blegh, that's disgusting. They say cooties are contagious you know."
"What on Earth are cooties?" Jody asked.
"An STD," Colt replied, only half joking, and though Jody appeared mildly disturbed by his joke, Parker had known her brother long enough to appreciate his odd ball sense of humor. "And they're not contagious if you have a shot."
Jody, not wanting to know if he was serious or not, let it go as the group slowly filed forward to get their guns, face masks, and coveralls. They followed shortly after, snickering like kids the entire way through.
In the end, Colt and Jody both got white, while Parker and Tom were given black ones.
Karma, she supposed, is that she wouldn't be able to shoot the asshole after all.
"Somehow, this is a step up for your usual clothes," said asshole chirped, pinching the baggy material hanging at her waist between his forefinger and thumb. Parker swatted him away, only for Jean Claude to bark at her. "Easy, you want to get taken down before the game even starts?"
"Please, you're lucky we're on the same team," Parker teased. He didn't seem to buy it if the blithe look he shot her was anything to go by, and she huffed at him. "I bet I could have gotten the first hit on you if we weren't on the same team. I have mad skills at paintball, Ryder. Seal Team Six type stuff., you don't even know."
Tom rolled his eyes at the same time that Colt reappeared, face mask propped on the top of his head, looking just a tad too comfortable in his onesie. Jody and Dan flanked him, and Parker didn't like their smiles one bit.
"What?" she asked.
"You suck at paintball," Colt egged. "Remember Tallahassee? You were covered in welts for weeks!"
Tom snorted, and Parker considered him the greater threat considering the fact he was standing closer to her than Colt was. She glared at him to state, "I'm not joking. I could literally take you out. Any of you," she added with a stern point of the finger sweeping through the group. "All of you!"
Not a single person believed her.
Tom went so far as to snicker at her. "I don't buy that. for a second. You're a total klutz."
She gasped. "Am not!"
Colt raised a hand. "Are too. Remember when you broke your ankle trying to play hopscotch?"
"Just—stay out of this!"
He did not, in fact, stay out of it. "What was it you said, Park? Cause and effect? You suck at sports, and the effect of that, is you're about to go down on the course."
She blew a rather wet raspberry at her brother. "Please, if you and Tom were on the same team, I would smoke both of you."
They bickered for a moment, amusing some, but boring Tom, and the A-lister broke up their argument with a long-weary sigh. "Oi! Whose to say either of you could get a shot on me?" he taunted.
The siblings turned to face him.
"Is that a challenge?" Parker asked, hands planted on her hips, whilst Colt raised his brows.
Tom shrugged, unconcerned.
"In fact, I bet I'll make it a whole round without getting shot once," Tom tacked on, ego puffing his chest out as he smirked at the group standing around. Dan rolled his eyes, while Jody coughed into her hand to hide an obvious laugh at his showboating. "I'm serious. First one to hit me gets five hundred dollars—"
Thwack! Thwack!
Tom gaped at his chest, now dotted with one yellow and one blue splatter. Parker and Colt stood in front of him, guns still smoking, and while his eyes widened in anger, the pair of siblings were more concerned with claiming the prize to notice.
"First!" Colt cried.
"What? No fucking way," Parker argued. She waved at the yellow paint splatter haphazardly, almost taking out Jody as she did so. "I was so first. Tom! Tell him!"
Tom, now even more unamused by their bickering, blinked in wide-eyed disbelief at them both. "Are you fucking serious?" he shouted. "The game didn't even start yet!"
"But you just said—"
"I meant during a match. Christ, Parker, we're on the same team," he blustered, attempting to wipe off the paint, but only managing to smear it further down his chest like a bad Jackson Pollock painting. "Fuck!"
Colt, sensing a blow-out was coming, swung his gun behind his back with a wide eyed, innocent look. "Hey man, it was all her," he started. "Totally uncool. And immature. And, really, if you need me to smack her around a little after this I totally can."
Tom glared at Colt, effectively shutting him up in seconds, before turning to Parker. Everyone watched in baited breath, nervous what he might do, and while Parker hadn't been on set long enough to know what his meltdowns looked like, the ones most familiar with Tom were left stunned by his reaction.
Or, really, how utterly tame this one was to the hundred others they had seen.
"Are you happy now?" he asked.
Parker hemmed and hawed for a moment before deciding that honesty was the best policy. "I mean, I'd be happier if you gave me my five hundred dollars."
"I'm not paying you shit."
"Oh, come on," she rolled her eyes, popping a hip as she did so. "It's not like you're cash poor or anything. You're just upset that I shot you."
Tom gaped at her in disbelief. "No shit!"
Parker, shifting her gun over her shoulder, waved the other at him blithely. "You'll get over it once the game starts. It's—heh—surprisingly therapeutic."
"Shooting me is therapeutic?"
She paused, caught up in her own statement. "Er, well, not you exactly. Just someone, in general, you know." Parker swallowed when Tom continued to stare at her. Awkwardly, she laughed. "Just... wait till you get out there, and you'll see."
Tom remained silent, blinking at her for a long, tense, moment before he rolled his eyes with a heavy sigh. And—
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
His gun went off before anyone could stop him, and Parker gaped at the trio of yellow paint that was now splattered across her chest. "Fucking ow!"
Tom smirked at her, blowing the muzzle of his gun for extra flare, before swinging it over his shoulder. "Huh. I guess you're right. I do feel better."
"Asshole!"
"Yeah, well, takes one to know one, right?" he snarked.
And—oh.
She could kill him. Really, seriously kill him.
But, well, the longer she stared at him and he stared at her, eyebrow cocked and a daring smirk in place, Parker realized above the hatred simmering in her chest, she felt something kindred and wanting flutter like butterflies. Something amused by the curve of his smirk, flushed by the scorching burn of his gaze, and—dare she think—understanding at the retaliatory strike. She had, afterall, shot first.
He had only lowered himself to her level; played by her rules.
And with a strong suspicion that Tom Ryder wasn't so much an asshole as he was just looking for someone to understand him, Parker's only response to that was to throw her head back and howl in laughter.
Despite this, no one else moved for a long moment, too busy darting their gazes between Parker and Tom in case they needed to intervene, but in an even more surprising turn of events, he laughed as well. Not so outright, and not nearly as loud, but he did. Prompted by his positive reaction, it wasn't long before Colt started to laugh, and then Jody, and then suddenly everyone was knelt at the waist in laughter.
It wasn't until their instructor honked a blow horn at them, none too amused with the pre-game warfare, that they calmed down. He honked the horn a second time at Parker and Tom, threatening to kick them out if they kept breaking the rules, and while they managed to stay straight-faced, the moment he turned his back on the group, they shared matching grins.
Maybe, she thought as they got into place, it hadn't been such a bad idea to bring him along.
And maybe, her brother thought at the exact same time, Parker and Tom being friends wasn't the end of the world.
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six-eyed-samurai · 2 months
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SUMMARY: It's been back and forth the last few months between you and Hawks and finally you're both out for a date!...or not. You couldn't have ghosted him, right? A/N: About a couple years ago I was obsessed with Why Don't We so yes I'm using one of their songs LMAO sue me WARNINGS: GN reader and angst (it gets resolved I'm not evil!)
Oh, she talks so sweet, like sugar, like candy
It’s a first date and firsts are important, so he’s gotta be sure to make a good impression. A shower and a lot more to his normal concession to fanciness: the comb’s brushed through his hair more times than he count, tugged at the collar of his shirt wondering if it was too much, too casual, god it was getting kind of hot wearing it would it smell like sweat-
“I don’t mind. Smells like you.” Ah, that smirk that caused him to blush so badly and throw his hoodie at you. Okay, don’t worry so much. Just be your usual self.
Makes me wanna be the best man that I can be
He’s got the flowers, your favorite of course, and they were in full bloom when he walked past that florist. He’s prepared to pay the bill, ready to be the gentleman by rehearsing in his head what he’d do. Pull out your chair, compliment, a dinner place of your choice.
For you, nothing but the best, he swears in his head as he flies out into the night.
I like that she keeps things oh-so simple
The flirty game of cat and mouse the both of you had had going on before in his office was beyond fun and always left him wanting more of you - interactions, voice, touch. He made it obvious from the start that he was into you, what with his more than friendly suggestions, insistence on meals together and overprotectiveness should any of his sidekicks even think of looking at you.
It was startling to him that you had returned it though in the same gestures. He liked that about you; you didn’t beat around the bush and worked to get what you wanted.
In this case it was him and he wasn’t complaining.
Less stress, more uh, yeah, she got the dimples
It had taken exactly three months, one week and a half and five days for it to come to a head. One of you was going to crack and it was him, inevitably, when he dropped by with his daily pickup line and coffee for you. You’d flash that coy, sweet smile. “I might actually think you’re interested in me if you keep doing that.”
“What gave it away?” He made his standard, joking reply.
“I dunno. I said might. When you actually ask me out I’ll be convinced.”
I get scared when I think about the future
As a pro hero he had to think about the risks of having a significant partner who would become the target of much villain attacks, paparazzi and obsessed fans. As himself even he would admit the playboy image they painted and he supplied was not exactly flattering. As a normal person, was anyone really ready for commitment, potential heartbreak…?
But all this could be dealt with. It all faded to background noise, yadda yadda yadda…
Because, actually, now that he thought about it, had he OPENLY asked you out?
I'm a junk man, she's a promise abuser
“Well, when you do, I’ll say yes and I’ll be really, really interested as well.”
“Okay, will you go out with me for dinner tonight then?”
You blinked, opening and closing your mouth like a goldfish while he stared at you expectantly. “…um, what? I wasn’t…expecting…”
“You said you’d say yes!”
“Huh, I did say that.” You flashed another million watt smile. “Okay then. How about eight?”
Hell, I know that we're bad for each other
It’s been almost ten minutes - you must have run into traffic. Not unusual on a bustling night like this, with everyone in a terrible hurry to get, get, get somewhere. The tapping of his foot aligned with the ticking of the clock he was watching anxiously. He’s glad he had requested a more private table at the back to prevent fans from noticing their favorite Pro Hero, but now even more so he wouldn’t see the glances of pitying diners wondering who had stood him up so badly to see his hopeful face crack away bit by bit.
No, you wouldn’t ditch him like this. That was just cruel; you were a tease. You wouldn’t do this.
It’s the third refill of his cup when he finally accepts that you’re not coming.
I made my own bed but she tucked me under
A pathetic KFC dinner was not how he had envisioned the evening but that’s what he’s sitting with, hunched on his couch, wondering what went wrong.
Were you playing with him? Did you think he wasn’t serious? Were you offended he hadn’t come pick you up? Had you both somehow miscommunicated the date? Did you realize you didn’t actually want all the crap that came with being a Pro Hero’s significant other?
He chucked his trash into the bin and wished he could do the same with his emotional turmoil.
We did it for the hell of it
You didn’t even show up the next day at work - you must really be going that far to avoid him, huh?
Not like he’d bring it up, to be honest. It was embarrassing that he had managed to be duped so well, that he was rejected indirectly in public. It hurt that you didn’t even bother to answer ANY of his messages. It stung that he had no apology and he couldn’t say one himself because you. Weren’t. There.
But your jacket was, hanging forlornly by your chair, so internally he apologized and took it home to toss onto his bed-nest and fall asleep to the fading scent of you.
We did it for the good times and the bad ones
So this was what it was like to be hung up. 10/10 would not recommend, he decided. Usually he was distracted during hero work occasionally thinking about you, but now he still was and doing a sloppy job according to the Commission with his listless attitude and moping. Probably why they just about forced him to take a day off.
Nothing much to do. You hadn’t gone to work for a third day already. Who was he to text? Usually he’d be blowing up your phone with stupid pickup lines he found online, the silly stuff he’s seen people doing while flying, bad singing of whatever song he was listening to at that time. Sometimes it ended in not-so-coincidental meetups. You’d respond to every message with one just as ridiculous as his. Rumi only responded ”your crush not around?” when he spammed her instead.
Could’ve been more, he grumbled aloud. Could’ve been until you went AWOL after doing the equivalent of dumping him.
We didn't think about what shit might happen
He’s driving himself crazy. Over what? Over some crush? There were billions of other people who’d kill for the chance to go out with him.
But it was not some crush - it was you. He didn’t want the billions - he wanted you. It was the fourth day and your desk was still empty - where were you?
He asked around casually. Only Rumi gave him a knowing look. Nobody knew where you were. Your friend at the agency had mentioned you had been pretty excited about some date with a friend- hope? he wanted to think so - that day but since then there wasn’t any updates.
“What if a kidnapping happened?! Like those scammers who pretend to be a date and then end up drugging you instead?!”
He coughed. “Yeah…I don’t think that happened, don’t worry.”
But once you light a fire, it's gonna burn
On the fifth day he sent his fifteenth message.
No wonder you vanished, he grimaced. Nobody wanted a clingy texter who couldn’t take the hint. But here he was, finger hovering above the send button and scrolling past the plaintive texts of before: asks on when you were coming and were you going to be late and where were you, the occasional “guess what I saw today” that he’d usually send you when he was feeling braver, apologies for pestering you and making you uncomfortable with the date and the…never ending texts even though you were probably ghosting him by now.
Today he’d get over it, he repeated with finality and misery. One last “sorry” and on he’d move.
>>I'll be okay to keep it simple
The phone’s abandoned on the table for the rest of the night while he slams his head into his pillow, allowing himself a few moments to sulk one last time before heading into the shower after the long day of work (without you there).
He hopes you’ll at least see it. Maybe text back.
Then again that would probably rip open the wound wide once more so perhaps it was better if you ignored him. He could block you for good measure.
The shower pounded down on his head. No, he sighed, he couldn’t block you if he tried.
>>I'll stay outta your way and won't let you know
The ping on his phone indicating a text message alerts him but he figures it must be the paperwork that he’s been running away from (without your help there was no way he’d be able to do it) from catching up to him, so he takes his sweet time to leisurely change and blow dry his hair before he actually picks the phone up.
He falls back onto the bed. Stunned, shocked. Maybe a bit hopeful. Confused, crushed. Funny how just one message can do that.
Hawks, can you come to my house tonight? I need to talk to you<<
Of course, when has he ever refused you? He was out of the window before he even realized what he was doing and how damn stupid this all was, that he was setting himself up for another heartbreak, you were finally going to break it to him that you didn’t show up because you didn’t know how else to reject his pushy advances and oh shit he’s forgotten to wear his shoes properly and now they were falling off midair-
“I…wasn’t expecting you that fast.”
“I’m the Wing Hero?”
You allowed your face to curl into a broken smile. “Yeah, we all know that, birdbrain.”
Humans always want what they couldn’t have. You were dolled up so pretty for some reason, even in the horrible lighting coming from your living room behind you. He was glad the shadow fell on his face, standing at your door, so you wouldn’t see the heartbreak twisting his expression. Don’t call me birdbrain if you’re going to leave, he prayed.
“So,” he said to cut the awkward pause. “Why am I here?”
“I…it’s probably easier to explain inside. Come on in.”
It's not the first time he's been in but he's pretty surprised to see your dining table pushed out, covered in a tablecloth and decorated with the whole nine yards: dinner for two, candles and flowers. Is this how you're really gonna toy with him before breaking it off?
You take him by the arm and lead him there, half pulling out a chair for yourself before he interrupts plainly. “You didn't have to do all this.”
“Yeah, well, I really wanted to-”
“You could've just told me you didn't want to go out with me. Not stand me up and just, what, vanish without telling anyone?!”
“Hawks-”
“You didn't have to do this.” Why couldn't you spare him pain instead? He was a fool, yes, but no reason for you to let him be this foolish.
He shuts his eyes to trap the water and when he opens them his face is suddenly smooshed between your cradling palms while you force him to look at you and your serious, pleading expression.
“Hawks, will you listen to me? Please?”
“Listening,” he tried to say, but since his mouth was partially squished he nodded instead. Also his throat was blocking, probably from the almost-crying.
“I’m not playing with you when I say I can explain everything - I was actually on my way to the date when I got a call from my mom. My dad's health isn't the greatest right now so I had to rush back to my hometown after he had a bad fall. My phone's battery died that night and where my parents live don't exactly have the greatest of Internet connections so I was literally cut off from everyone. I came back once he was okay and so…” You take a deep breath and remove a hand to gesture around. “I really do like you, Hawks, so if you want we can redo the date?”
Perhaps his eyes were watering thanks to the candles or flower allergies. He buried his face into your neck, arms wrapped tight around you. Your hand stroked through his hair. “Don't scare me like that again.”
“I'd never ditch you like that, birdbrain.”
“Can we skip straight to the part where we kiss now?”
I need your love tonight
I need your love
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tiyoin · 6 months
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Audhd, anxious, depressed reader having the zoomies and body blaming Floyd with a bear hug will laughing like a gremlin. Only for it to wear off and blue screen from embarrassment and full on sprint away. I... I have done that before. Still cringe remembering it XD but also laugh :X. I'm 5 nothing and the image is funny
we’ve all done smthn embarrassing when we had the ‘zoomies’ 😔 IVE LITERALLY HAD THEM WEAR OFF MID WHATEVER I WAS DOING AND WALK OF SHAMED MYSELF TO A CORNER LMAOOOO
BABES ME TOO- IM LITERALLY FIGHTING WITH MY FRIENDS THAT THE DOCTOR SAYS IM TECHNICALLY 5’1
i’ve always imagined reader going up to floyd when they’ve had a bad day and just- tell him to squeeze them.
if jade’s there they’ll both share a look before he asks you to repeat yourself. and when you tell him to ‘squeeze you’, a dead serious look on his face, his reaction will depend on his mood.
he’ll either happily squeeze you, or call you weird and get creeped out 😭
BUT my sister used to always ask my mom for ‘squeezes’ to get excess energy out of/ bad energy and she may have be onto smthn.
cause whether it’s you or someone else doing the squeezing IT. WORKS. if you got too much pent up energy squeezing i’d the way to go 😼
i used to squeeze my dog (he was a fat boy, and when i got too hard i would always turn it into an air squeeze because he’s my baby girl and i’d never hurt a hair on his head 🫶)
BUT IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO GET SQUEEZED BY FLOYD FOXPAOSKC- or in general actually. but imagine a full body squeeze?? bro my spine WILL be popping back into place, you’d get a muscle pulling and pent up energy is gone??
yeah you mayyy have to go to the nurse for broken ribs some nasty arm bruising. but you’re also handed a
‘i survived getting squeezed by floyd leech’ shirt, which not a lot of people have 🤘😼
ORRR
if you’re closer to floyd / y’all are really really good friends or you’re dating i feel like he’d welcome them 😌 BUT he’d also have a ‘who. the. fuck. ‘ reaction at first cause what small fry is brave enough to ambush him???
oh- it’s just you🤭 and when you high tail it out of there out of embarrassment he’ll either chase after you OR jog in it in memory file for a nasty future teasing 😈😈
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dyushas · 10 months
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I return two months later with another people standing image but this time it's Younger Character Designs for the Wayfinder Trio, because I don't think they should look exactly the same for four years straight of their adolescence. So this is how I imagine them when Ven had only just arrived in the Land of Departure
Thought-process notes under the cut (mild spoilers ig):
Terra:
-I think Terra is a creature of habit and has been dressing mostly the same since at least puberty, especially since his style is the most like Eraqus' (in my opinion) and I think most people would copy their parents less as they get closer to adulthood instead of more, but what do I know? Idk what I'm even talking about half the time. It's ultimately vibes, I just think that's his brand of autism. But I had to do it at least a little differently to justify the drawing
-Obviously he is like four years younger or something here so he's not as good at things yet or he would've just taken the Mark of Mastery then, so he's got a wrist brace to show he has fucked up his wrist. To show he's still not good at things. I am very intelligent
-I didn't want to draw the full arm piece but I pretend it's because he hasn't worked his way up to handling that much extra weight on one side yet
-I think the red shirt and the patterns look nice so I also did that
-Aqua cut his hair and she isn't that good at it
-I think he's meant to have brown eyes
Aqua:
-She's got so many flowy bits in her canon outfit and I think it probably took her awhile to achieve the kind of control needed for those to not just be a hazard, so at this point she's a younger teen and she isn't there yet, but she can still afford to add a bit of flair
-I was looking at ballet warm-up clothes like those trash bag shorts cause she's got this dancer thing going on
-She and Terra have the same style of shirt because I thought it would be cute and emphasize their closeness as well as the fact that Ven is somewhat of an outsider here at this point
-She has a knee thing. She hurt her knee. She probably fell trying to figure out that fuckass twirl she does sometimes or something
-She cut her own hair but had Terra help with the back. Mistakes were made
-Terra's nails are painted, too, I just drew him with the wrong hand position to show it. The two of them have been the only other kids around for a good while so they hang out when they're supposed to be asleep sometimes to study their keyblade stuff and then get distracted with something silly and joke back and forth, and they paint each other's nails and share clothes sometimes, although this is getting harder cause they're less and less the same size. And then the next day, Eraqus has to tell them off because Aqua is mad Terra's hogging the bathroom and now they're at each other's throats. Just the way it is
Ventus:
-I can write off everyone looking the same in the flashbacks in BBS cause it was a PSP game and they'd already made a lot of new character models so like. I can think "it was just a practicality thing, they probably didn't actually look the same back then" but Ventus also has the same outfit in UX and I pretend I do not see it. There's no way. He needs something else, his skin is sticking to his clothes. It's just not right, it's not ethical, he's only a boy
-I let him keep the waistcoat though cause it feels SO UX era, everyone in that damn game has a little waistcoat and then no one (?) in the console games does. So my thought process is that this one thing is for SURE from tha past and he just keeps wearing it. He's a little vintage
-He has shorts because ummm :P
-Sora had shorts both as a little baby in BBS and a larger baby in KH1, and then as he's been depicted as less kiddish and more teenaged they have him in those cropped pants now. So it's a Sora parallel. Shorts are just the little boys garment
-"But what if his legs get cold?" Well clearly I thought of that
-He has no armor bits because at this point in time he's just been through a lot of trauma and has only just woken up from a mild coma (for him), so he's all kinds of unwell and I don't think he's really doing any proper training yet. Eraqus already kind of babied him in the main story, so he was probably truly swaddled back then. He's dressed for COMFORT
-This meant he also needed different shoes so I drew some. They're not very remarkable
-I gave him a little jacket because I tried drawing him just without one and I didn't like it, he didn't look enough like he spends his days skulking around and looking sad and not getting to hit things with his keyblade, so I gave him something haori-adjacent like it's maybe something Eraqus had lying around and let him wear like how my mom starts putting her jackets on me when she thinks I'm acting sick. But it has black and white checks on the sleeves because I had to put them SOMEWHERE or else it wouldn't be right and every other option I could think of sounded ugly
-I CAN'T EXPLAIN THE LEGWARMERS, I just wanted him to have a unique silhouette that makes him look like he's been sitting the fuck around
-He just has the same hair as he had in UX, which is his original hair but shorter
That's it unless I forgot something in which case you can ask and I may or may not have an answer.
I might also draw Vanitas in this time period even though I'd just give him the same outfit he always has since it's a magic outfit or whatever, but like for the sake of imagining him Small. Vote now on your phones if I should or not so I can disregard it and do whatever I feel like anyway
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pinkorchidsinspring · 9 months
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EVELYN is that you?! For the Straights, and gays who have never had the soul crushing pleasure of reading (and those who have ;) “The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo”, Allow me to elaborate ⬇️
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To be clear: Evelyn Hugo Marry’s seven separate men in order to cultivate her Hollywood image, at the expense of her true love interest and sexuality. Aka lavender marriages, aka bearding. She was bi however we barely have one actual male love interest for her..
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let’s meander some of the lovely connections our blonde woman-who-is-attending-an-award-show-with-a-woman-on-her-arm-to-✨dispell✨-the-gay-rumors has with the ever amazing Evelyn Hugo 😍
Green is quotes from the book, anything else is Taylor’s lyrics 💗
"It shouldn't be wrong, to love you. How can it be wrong?"
They say I did something bad / Then why's it feel so good?
I love you ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?
Is Evelyn Hugo going to tell me just enough to keep me on the edge of my seat but never enough to truly reveal anything?
What a Mastermind wouldn’t you say?
I did it because I want to climb the ladder as high as I possibly can. I did it because I want my name, the name my father gave me, in big, bold letters one day. This is my chance.
He wanted a bride, I was making my own name
People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth.
I want to wear his initial / On a chain 'round my neck, chain 'round my neck / Not because he owns me / But 'cause he really knows me / Which is more than they can say
Celia was starting to get goose bumps, so I suggested we go back into the living room, where it was warmer. The desert winds had swooped in and turned this June night into a chilly one. When I started to get cold, too, I asked her if she knew how to make a fire.
He built a fire just to keep me warm
Wine went all over her white shirt.
The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me
I was in emerald green again.
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“Evelyn, who was your great love? You can tell me." "Celia St. James.”
I just had to put this in here- no need whatsoever but 😍
Don was off somewhere else, leaving me before I could leave him. Instead, right on my doorstep, was Celia St. James.
Stand there like a ghost / Shaking come the rain, rain / She'll open up the door / And say, are you insane, -ane?
🤭And that's how it works / That's how you get the girl🤷‍♀️
She literally told you-I anyway
You wonder what it must be like to be a man, to be so confident that the final say is yours.
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A little side note: The way in which she naturally uses those two fingers is very audacious to me.. but that’s a topic for another time…
I’d risen from ashes more than once by that point. But I didn't want to have to do it again.
And I know I make the same mistakes every time
I'm getting tired even for a phoenix / Always risin' from the ashes / Mendin' all her gashes / You might just have dealt the final blow
"Everyone's a pawn.”
Checkmate, I couldn't lose
One day I'll watch as you're leaving / 'Cause you got tired of my scheming
The black beaded dress I wore that night. Two slits on either side of the skirt went up to my mid-thigh. I loved that dress. (For the nomination for a film called Cornelia Sunset, might I add…)
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And what I wanted was to move to the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
Where were the original Polaroids for 1989 shot? Oh in manhattan…
Where does Taylor live? In New York… maybe not manhattan… but you get the point..
Welcome to New York, Taylor wrote this song specifically about moving there, and the very diverse people there…
In the pursuit of a great cause, I think people can be of service in a number of different ways. I always felt that my way was to make a lot of money and then channel it to the groups that needed it. It's a bit self-serving, that logic. I know that. But because of who I was, because of the sacrifices I made to hide parts of myself, I was able to give more money than most people ever see in their entire lifetime. I am proud of that.
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"Evelyn, you are not capable of giving it up. And you never will be. And it will be the tragedy of my life that I cannot love you enough to make you mine. That you cannot be loved enough to be anyone's.”
"Do something, babe, say something" (say something) / "Lose something, babe, risk something" (you're losin' me) / "Choose something, babe, I got nothing (got nothing) / To believe / Unless you're choosin' me"
Which is about the cruelest thing you can do to someone you love, give them just enough good to make them stick through a hell of a lot of bad.
You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love / The slowest way is never loving them enough
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And let me just say bring a woman who promised to be Taylor’s “invisible bride any day”, to an award show after that homophobic piece of 🔥🗑️ NYT article calling her only straight…
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Not to mention her name starts with a K..
Look how happy tree is, because this Evelyn Hugo won’t be hidden forever 💚🤍
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purgeprincesskore · 7 months
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Heys guys what's up! Here is my submission for the Varadeva love day event. This is my first time writing a fanfic AU. I hope you guys will love it as much as I do. Enjoy!!
"Harana"
Varadeva AU College Fic
Deva is not really much of a romantic guy. In fact he's not the kind of guy to fall easily with words of affection that comes from most of his classmates who admires him. It's not his fault that he's THE GUY that almost everyone else falls for. Being the captain of the football team and vice president of their university student council. It's the day before Valentines after all that is why he is already been receiving letters with chocolates that invites him to be their date for the Sweethearts Dance tomorrow night. It's all flattering really and he does not want to reject each person that gives him the letters. He just accepts it and decides to give the chocolates to his mother when he comes home later.
"Deva wait up!!" Aadhya calls behind him as he makes his way into their next class.
"Have you gotten any letters yet for the dance tomorrow?" Aadhya teases him while they walk side by side. He then shows her the inside of his bag containing the said letters given to him early in the morning.
"Oh wow. So have you picked anyone yet? To be your date for the dance tomorrow?" Aadhya continues.
He shakes his head. "No not yet." The person he wants to be with tomorrow does not even know that he loves him. His bestfriend since they were kids. And also the president of the student council. Varadharaja Manaar. He does not voice this out to Aadhya afraid of being criticized by her. Or maybe there's a possibility that Aadhya can help him confess his feelings to Vara. He hesitates. Stops midway to the room. Just as he was about to call for Aadhya who's already at the door of the room comes Varadha the opposite way towards him. He stops in his tracks to take in the image of Vara before him wearing blue shirt with a few buttons popped opened revealing his chest hair. Deva's mesmerized by this man who has no idea that his bestfriend is inlove with him for years now.
"Hey Deva! Got any plans yet for the dance tomorrow?" Vara asks him pulling him out of trance. Vara walks over to him wrapping an arm around his shoulders
"No not yet. I haven't asked anyone yet to be my date for tomorrow. Though I may have receive a few letters asking me to be their date" Deva then showed his bag full of letters. He is a bit nervous now cause of the way he is staring at Vara a while ago and he hopes Vara does not notice it.
"Huh. You think you're the only one with those letters?" Vara then shows Deva his bag which to his suprise is also full of letters. He almost forgot that he is not the only famous one here at the university. His Varadha also attracts lots of women in their university. Wait did he just called Varadha "his"? He really is in a lot of trouble now. He needs to confess his feelings or else it might be too late for him. But he is scared that it will be the end of their friendship. He can take the rejection but the friendship that they build all these years he does not think he can bear the pain that will come if ever their friendship falls apart because of what he will confess to him.
" Are you ok Deva? You don't seem too well now. I'm sorry if I offended you by showing these letters. It's nothing really. I haven't ask anyone yet" Varadha apologizes thinking it was his fault that Deva feels anxious now thinking of the possible outcomes when he confesses to Varadha.
"No I'm fine. Just feeling a little bit sick that's all. Just a headache"
"Hey you two class is about to start get inside the room now come on" Aadhya calls them by the door.
The whole day passes by quickly without Deva even noticing it. He still plans to confess to Varadha tomorrow and has no idea how to do it. It will be a perfect time since it's Valentines day tomorrow. He searches for Aadhya along the corridor to ask for help since they been close friends for a few years now.
Aadhya emerges from the corridor from the west side of the building.
"Hey Deva! I need your help with something. Come with me" Aadhya starts to drag him by his arm through the corridor that leads to the student council room. The doors are close and there seems to be someone else inside strumming a guitar.
"Do we have a meeting I didn't know about? Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Aadhya is also a a part of the student council. She's the treasurer. Aadhya does not respond to him but instead opens the door. His heart has started to beat real fast when he recognizes the person sitting on a stool with a guitar on his lap. Varadha. He smiles at him while scratching the back of his head also looking nervous as he is. The door closed and they were now the only ones in the room. That is when he noticed the sign behind Varadha. Written in a white banner with red font are the words, "WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE?" He is now confused and he does not want to get his hopes up about Varadha's feelings for him.
"What is this Vara?" He finally had the courage to speak first after the silence that passed between them
"Uhmm I figured since you already got letters and chocolates I thought I'd do something different to tell you how I feel about you"
He is not able to say anything. Varadha takes that as a cue to start strumming the guitar to a familiar tune he seems to remember vaguely in his memories. And now Varadha started to sing.
"You're the one that never lets me sleep
To my mind, down to my soul, you touch my lips
You're the one that I can't wait to see
With you here by my side, I'm in ecstasy
I am all alone without you
My days are dark without a glimpse of you
Now that you came into my life, I feel complete
The flowers bloom, my morning shines, and I can see
Your love is like the sun that lights up my whole world
I feel the warmth inside
Your love is like the river that flows down through my veins
I feel the chill inside
Every time I hear our music play
Reminds me of the things we've been through
In my mind, I can't believe it's true
But in my heart, the reality is you"
Varadha singing the song with full of emotions while looking at him. Then it clicked in Deva's mind that this is the favorite song of Varadha he never really knew why but he understands now. The happiness in his heart is unexplainable now the he knows that Varadha feels the same way for him. He waits for Varadha to finish the song. He always loved his beautiful voice ever since their highschool days.
"I guess this the part where I ask will you---
He does not let Varadha finish as he cups his face and kissed him on the lips. Soft and smooth just like he had imagined. Varadha was taken by surprise of his actions but kisses him back after a few seconds. Varadha can't seem to get enough of him as he deepened the kiss. They stopped kissing just to catch their breaths and he leaned in to put his forehead on Varadha's. Both of them panting and grinning like fools.
"I take it you feel the same way about me?" Varadha grins while looking up at him
"Yes. I do. I guess I'm just too scared to confess my feelings for you because of the fear of being rejected"
"I guess were both fools then. And we have Aadhya to thank for making me confess my feelings to you"
"Which reminds me I have something to give you" Deva reaches out for his pocket to reveal a locket necklace and gives it to Varadha who opens it to reveal their pictures inside.
"Let me" Deva takes the necklace from Varadha and puts it on him. Deva did not fight the urge as he kissed Varadha on the neck then continued to hold his jaw to make Varadha face him as kissed him again.
"So where did you get this idea?" Deva ask after a while
"I had a classmate wayback freshmen year. She is an English major. She said that in their culture when you want to court someone or to simply confess your feelings to them you sing them a song that conveys your feelings for that person. They call it "Harana" in their native language"
"Well I really am glad that you did this for me" Deva can't stop smiling.
"Only for you my Deva" Varadha kissed his nose making his heart flutter with happiness
"I love you my Varadha" Deva can't stop himself from kissing the love of his life.
"You'll be my date tomorrow for the dance. Got it?" Varadha demanded as he pulled away from the kiss.
"I have no other choice now do I?" Deva chuckles as he teased Varadha who kissess him to shut him up.
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imyourjettt · 2 years
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Kiss Them
Pairing: Phillip Graves x f!Reader
Word Count: 571
Warnings: Domestic graves, fluff, implied sexual content
Summary: Phillip Graves is one to hate public affection, but when he's alone with you he can't keep his hands off of you.
Author's Note: Graves brainrot is real- I will eventually write for other characters but please deal with this for now. Something short and sweet because I can't get enough of domestic graves.
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Phillip Graves, your boyfriend who was also the CEO of the Shadow Company hated public affection. He explained all the time- he had an image and reputation to keep up around the Shadows. You respected it to the fullest since you could kind of understand where he was coming from. However, you always found it funny how different he was around you when you were alone. For a man who hated public affection, he sure did like affection when it was just the two of you. He was almost a different person, the first time you saw the switch it almost shocked you. But you enjoyed every last moment of it. But no matter if he was affectionate with you in public or not, you were head of heels for him.  
One day when you were both alone, on the premise of your home you were staring at him a lot more than usual. He immediately noticed. "What's will all the starin' today, hun?" he asks.
You shrug, "I don't know what you're talking about." 
He turns his full attention over to you, "You know what I'm talkin' about. You keep starin'. What's wrong?" he asks worriedly. 
You laugh at his sudden change in tone, "Nothing is wrong Phil, I just like looking at you." you say reassuringly. 
"Well if that's the case, then keep on lookin'." he grins and continues back to what he was doing.
You let your eyes wander, today he is wearing a blue button-up shirt, and some work jeans. You always loved when he wore anything blue, it always made his eyes even brighter. The simple things he would wear would always make him look so much more good-looking. The smell of the cologne he wears lingers in the air every time he walks past you. You couldn't get enough of this man, and the fact he couldn't get enough of you either was mind-blowing. 
He finishes what he was doing and makes his way back over to you, "Hun, do we have any plans today?" he asks.
All you could get from his question was the last few words, you were so out of it staring at him. You didn't know what was wrong with you, you just really wanted to admire him right here, right now.
A grin appears on his face, he walks closer to you and gently places a kiss on your forehead, "You must really love me, if you're lookin' at me this much, huh?" 
You smile up at him and wrap your arms around his neck looking into his eyes, "I can't get enough of you sometimes Mr. Graves." 
He laughs at the sudden name change. He closes the distance between you and him and kisses you sweetly. Whenever he kisses you, it felt as if the whole world disappeared. He would put his whole focus on you and only you. He stands up straighter, leaning into the kiss causing you to stumble back. While his hands travel up your body and he grins against your lips. 
You break the kiss and gaze into his eyes, "I love you and your lips." you suddenly blurt out. 
He couldn't contain his laughter, he quickly gives you small pecks of kisses all over your face. Once he's satisfied he looks back into your eyes, "So kiss them." 
"Gladly." You pull his body into yours and kiss him like there is no tomorrow.
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scummy-writes · 8 months
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Scum talks about OCs
In this I'm just going to go over my Ocs in sections of their own. I'm not really using a special Oc template, I'm just talking about them and what fics they appear in, because to be blunt, I do write 'reader inserts', but some fics are written with these ocs in mind even if they're not detailed out specifically.
I'm just chatting about for fun, this will not change how I write currently. I would not expect fanfics about these characters specifically.
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Amélie - Drawn by @beni-draw-ikemen-please. (Full picture is her in a chair with Isaac sittin on the arm of it, and Arthur resting his head on her lap <3 I love it)
Anju, made with a Picrew here. I think her expression is a bit too gentle here, and she would mainly wear warmer yellows or cool toned blues, not the shirt in the image.
SS from Prince of my WIP OC for it, since she's fuckin impossible to make on picrews. Her current name is Constance.
I am honestly surprised people showed some interest in this, so bear with me through my bumbling please. A lot of these say 'mc' but they are 'reader insert' fics still. Previous fandoms had 'mc' interchangable with 'reader' so...
If you have any questions, feel free to ask, just know I might not have all the answered.
╰❧ Amélie
Amélie has been around for a few years, and Beni has been a saint for letting me comm her to draw her. Because of this, I was able to make a character profile for her Here. Additionally, a much older one Here that details some vague things about her past, and including her past with Sebastian (Childhood friends).
-> Fanfics she has been 'in': Breathless Discoveries (Isaac/Mc), Mental Gravity (Isaac/Mc), Blessed Accidents (Isaac/Mc), Exercise in Restraint (Isaac/Mc), Temptations (Arthur/Mc), A Helping Hand (Arthur/Mc), His (Theo/Mc), Playful Punishments [vaguely] (Isaac/Mc/Arthur), Midnight Impulses [Vaguely] (Isaac/Mc/Arthur), Musings (Isaac/Mc), Oral Prompt with Isaac, First Steps (Isaac/Mc), The Talk (Isaac/Mc), The Shirt Thief (Isaac/Mc), Isaac Overworking (Isaac/Mc/Arthur), Awkward Dates (Isaac/Mc), and likely some other small drabbles I have missed...!
─❧ Summary: (Brief mentions of abuse/SA/Trauma but not explicit details)
A lot of her general background is covered in the second character profile I linked above. It sounds vague, and well! That is because it is a bit traumatic. I don't want to gloss over the fact that she has been through a lot, primarily SA, but I don't like focusing entirely on it to where that is the Only thing about her. Her previous job was ... an 'idol'? I never fleshed it out fully, due to self embarassment, but I wanted her to be a singer with a 'small' following, who got connected with shitty producers and signed a contract way too young without understanding the full implications of it, which caused most of her money to not actually be Hers. Due to her parents strongly against her career choice, going as far as rushing a contract ended up having her cut off from her family. With Sebastian gone, her support network disappeared completely.
She Vaguely goes over this in Patchworked Pieces (be mindful of tags), which was supposed to be a full fanfic detailing her story, but I am not meant for long fanfics at all so I posted what scenes I had typed enough with. on the chapter On Failed Attempts, she details a bit more of her experiences.
How she met Comte was through the normal opening of visiting the muesuem. She did it under distress and wanting a distraction, she was weighing options and considing some pretty awful things! I like to think Comte could tell she was beside herself and trying to calm down a little. I like to think he could sense the distress and the thing she was contemplating, and led her back to the mansion.
Which! Is rocky. She's terrified of everyone, until she sees Sebastian, and he helps ease her into her mansion life. She never tells Sebastian what she went through, due to worries and fears that he would manage to blame himself. So in her story, he never finds out.
Isaac is the primary person who knows some details, but not everything. She'd tell both him and Arthur some bare minimums, just so that when things got intimate, her panic attacks for 'random' reasons wouldn't make them believe it was because of them.
As for how they all entangle with each other? Well... Amélie is not what brings them together, necessarily.
Before she arrives, Arthur attempts to get close to Isaac. It is platonic at first, perhaps he had a crush on him but waves it off. But alcohol is introduced, they start 'drinking' together (Isaac is still a lightweight so he barely builds up his tolerance, mostly keeps Arthur some company), and...They get too tipsy and adventurous with each other. Arthur gets ashamed immediately. Not out of doing things with another man, because it was clear he was using Isaac to get over some trauma. So he avoids, hides, and their friendship crumbles.
And after that is when Amélie stumbles into the mansion.
Her friendship with Isaac is the most prevelant. And after getting on a better start with Arthur, they end up slowly getting entangled with each other. Isaac, unfortunately, deals with the brunt of her panic attacks. Finds scars, attempts to heal them.
It's through healing that they all twine together. Helping each other face their traumas, face what happened between them all.
Ironically, her love for singing was bounced in and out of the story. I wanted a few scenes where she tries to play in one of the many secluded rooms in the mansion- finds an old piano while cleaning, places a few notes. But I don't think she'd be able to any time soon. I think she would need a break for a year or two, before she started exploring music again. Or anything super creative.
I like to imagine that she is friends with a majority of the residents. When she is faring better, she paints with Leonardo and Vincent. She listens to Mozart play, reads what Dazai and Arthur write, so on so forth. I want her to live in a house with Arthur and Isaac, later on, visiting the mansion weekly or every two weeks, happy with her new life.
Sometimes I pair her with Theo, because I think they could help each other, but I think she is fated to be with Isaac and Arthur.
In AUs, I like to imagine Anju as her older friend. Anju does not tolerate a lot of bullshit with Amélie, and would be a bit like a guard dog. But. an unassuming one. She would treat Arthur very harshly until he proves himself. (I am unsure if I ever posted it, but I wrote a few chapters to go with This Au Fic for Isaac week. The second chapter, Anju was supposed to be a witch to help Amélie out after some events [was gonna have Isaac die and then it turn into a reincarnation au thing where they meet again in modern day, and in modern day Anju was gonna be around], and Anju has to help her move forward.)
I've been typing this on and off for a few hours and I am struggling with some details HAHA for now, I will stop here. She's the one OC that has a lot out there for her.
Oh. Amélie is not her 'real' name, but it is now. I am unsure if it is in poor taste or not, but in an attempt to heal she abandoned a lot of her old life. Not Herself, but trying to let go of the past until she could confront it more. She goes by Amélie until the end of her days, and only Sebas and likely Comte know her old name.
╰❧ Anju
-> Fanfics she's been 'in': Training Theo (Theo/Reader)
─❧ Summary: (Vague mentions of parental issues)
OoooOOoooOh Anju....anju....wails.
She is such a complicated Oc for me. She was originally for Shingen in ikes*n (i dont want this on the tags on accident). I still debate if the character she is now still stems from that relationship or not. Because if so, that means she left the past and came back to the present because her and Shingen didn't work out. Not in a TERRIBLE way but probably a sad mutual understanding.
It's either that, or she's just pretty sour from general past relationships not working out.
I like to imagine that she is in her thirties, and that she lives in a neighborhood where everyone knows each other in friendly ways. She is a 'seamstress' just due to how Sengoku has that set up for the Mc. I decied that her grandmother taught her how to sew, and her grandmother owned a small shop to repair peoples clothes and sew clothes for commission as well (i know nothing about how this works so). She would help her grandmother at her shop, and later on when her grandmother passed, she would take over the shop.
As for her parents, I never fully fleshed them out. I just know her mother was constantly comparing herself to other children/people around her, and that their relationship dissolved to the point of Anju refusing to aknowledge her as a mother any longer. The crux of this would cause Anju to move the shop to a different location completely to sever ties. (not move physically, but open another shop elsewhere after funds were saved with the same name).
For Vamp, she relocates her ass to France for Reasons. And here is where it is... well. I don't think a shop like this could exist, but i wish it would. pls spare me from laughs HAHA
The shop I always imagined is the type where the ground floor is the shop, and upstairs is where Anju lives. So upstairs would house her kitchen, living room, and Bedroom and bathroom, a balcony connected to the kitchen would be. great. Lower floor would have the shop, her sewing area, a room to hang up comms and etc, and the 'front' of the shop. Front of the shop is the porch and the actual like...foyer area....of the shop.
She spends a lot of her time sitting in the foyer area at a desk, if she is not actively working on sewing. .....I like to imagine she has a small sitting area set up there for people (children, family, friends, partners, etc) waiting while whoever she is working on measurements and etc with is getting their stuff. With....a lil coffee/tea area....very very small like a coffee maker and some stuff....but cozy vibes... (and she wanted a coffee machine near her while working).
She'll sit on the porch often in the mornings while waiting for customers or going through shop bills and whatever, and that is how she meets Arthur in a modern day setting. By him taking 'Vic' (or whatever pet he is on now) on a walk, Vic escaping, and running up to Anju because he wants pets HAHA.
For first meeting, Anju thinks Arthur is cute, but recognizes the fuckboy tendances. However, i feel like at this point of living as a vampire for so long, Arthur wouldn't be how he is in the game currently. As in, not entirely as self destructive and a smidgen more at peace with himself, but still has the tendencies. She doesn't think too much on the meeting, loves Vic though, and goes from there...
But Arthur doesn't. He gets hung up on her a little, and finds excuses to run into her a bit more. Nothing crazy, but primarily just walking Vic by there and seeing if he can catch her on the porch again, waving, exchanging greetings and pets for Vic. It would turn into him eventually finding an excuse to get some clothing mended, which she can very easily tell is bullshit, but she entertains it because... he's respectful the whole time. She enjoys the company and the innocent flirting.
It comes to a clusterfuck when they spot each other at a bar though. Where he sees how differently she's dressed, where it's clear she's looking for one night stands and nothing else. (He is also alarmed at her smoking HAHA). Arthur doesn't do much with this information, but she immediately tries shutting him out because. Well, she isn't ashamed to have casual sex with others, but she doesn't want the fuckboy tendancies to come back for him. She doesn't want this fake relationship to delve into sex and nothing more. So she puts up walls, and Arthur has to slowly take them down. And it is a rocky thing, because Anju is so independant and refuses to rely on anyone else, so it's a LOT of trouble HAHA a lot of dramatics.
They do fuck, because well they both enjoy sex so why not!!!!! but ah. it's complicated. I think I have a scene of that somewhere. I cannot remember if I have that happen before or after him visiting her home/shop at night when he's drunk. I think it was before.
But Arthur was supposed to go to her place, drunk, because she has such a schedule with her shop/hobbies that it's easy to piece together that she's home, and she essentially lets him stay over in pity because he's wailing about messing up his friendship with Theo.
From there it turns into awkward, more up in the air things. I played with her getting with Arthur only, Theo only, Arthur and Theo, or even Vincent! But the Arthur/Theo subplot would have been too similar to the Isaac/Arthur one in Amélie's story. (Sorry for causing you so much distress, Arthur).
I like to imagine her in her shop. Arthur flirting with her while the neighborhood granny laughs at her attempts to ignore the flirting.
╰❧ Constance
-> Fanfics she's been 'in': Sinking (Gilbert/Reader) [Descriptions of Self Harm], First Time (Gilbert/Reader), Chev comforts Mc
─❧ Summary: (Mentions of self harm, abuse)
Constance....! Is still a running name. I may change it, I may not. I'm unsure about her appearance, I know I want her to have the split hair and to dress in similar colors though, but her eyecolor I am so conflicted on...
But...! Her story is still being fleshed out, and she has changed a lot. She is now strictly for Gilbert, whereas she was supposed to be a flexible oc for either Clavis or Gilbert. (Maybe she still could be?)
So far, her story is still like Emma's so far. her and Rio friends for years, Akatsuki taking her in, etc. In my mind, she doesn't know who her parents are and is somewhat in peace of that.
I've bounced around a lot with her though, to where the Rio and Akatsuki being in her BG makes little sense. i've wanted her to be someone who writes and sings, but does not preform and instead has a friend that preforms for her. Where they have private sessions of Constance singing and exampling some of the dancing to her friend, and later on watching her friend preform the songs and bringing her visions to life. (i like this a lot but it feels...odd.)
I want her carrying a notebook around the palace, filled with her drawings and songwriting. Far in the journal, there is drawings of Gilbert- not because she knows him, but because long before she saw him slinking around Rhodolite and drew him out of facination of how he looked (did not piece together he was a Scary Dude). (would add a lot of fuel to fire if anyone saw those drawings COUGHS)
In another bouncing, I have her as a secret wrtier/artist that writes songs that are never preformed. I thought it would be funny if she wrote the erotica that Jin apparently reads??? I can never fgure out if thats canon or not because i never see it Mentioend in the game.
In both possible backgrounds for her, she is still a quiet and reserved person who suffers from a lot of depression, and struggles with herself a lot. The two toned hair was for fun at first, but now I'm realizing it would probably be a good symbol for her inner issues. How she has a lot of 'darkness' inside of her, that she feels disgusted by and upset with, while there is a purity she wishes she had (but fails to come to terms with how that is unreasonable).
To be paired with Clavis, she was supposed to be much more shy, and his antics were supposed to draw her out of her shell more.
But now it's more solidifies that she will be primarily paired with Gilbert due to the purity/darkness thing. She is a little dramatic in her thoughts with that, and is now a bit more serious toned rather than her shyness being played for antics.
She believes Gilbert over his refusal to 'lie', and that draws her in a lot.
Discussion of self harming/SA, when text is blue I am finished.
Something I am struggling with is that with many Ocs, i often have them go through some sexual trauma just due to it being an outlet for myself (i have also had sexual trauma). This may be why you see some themes of this in some fanfics I write, where there is something the reader is struggling with sexually and the suitor is extremely patient with them- it's usually tied to stuff like this (unsure of how obvious that is since no one ever says anything! which feels like an act of kindness, if it is obvious).
For her, I am struggling with adding that into her background as something that is fairly recent with her. Rio doesn't know, she refuses to tell him, and his fondness of her and constantly...hm...i don't mean this poorly, but building her up to be so 'perfect' sometimes causes a lot of issues when she reflects on herself, and she uses those words against herself often.
I don't know if the self harm would be. Due to that SA event or not. I don't know if this is soemthing that has plagued her for years, or if it spiked as her emotions got out of control.
Gilbert would not know. I don't really care if JP spoilers suggest otherwise, as there are already hints that make it clear he doesn't know Everything (he just knows a Lot). A lot of their relationship would be them struggling with self harm and the SA. A lot of her trust gets put into him (even if she dislikes it), because he doesn't lie to her like others do, and it is a comfort. (blah blah gilbert does lie blah blah)
It's hard to explain their relationship. I assume i'll have more figured out as his route comes out. Right now, she's who I imagine when I write some stuff with him, but not all of it.
With Clavis, the relationship would have been more healthy, and so would she. I think she would still struggle with both things, as it could be used as a mutual understanding when they discuss needing to be loved fully and not half-heartedly.
That is a rough gist of what I have for her? I have been typing this for hours and I am running out of steam.
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Annnd....That is that! At least for now. Another detail I will share for all of them is that they are all bi :) All my ocs are always bi.
Again, you guys are free to ask questions. I may update this over time as well. I don't really want criticisms for my ocs though since you guys don't actually deal with them past them popping up as the voice for some reader insert fics. they just sorta rot in my brain and I get comms of them at times.
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