#cause I have Doubts
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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not to be like both sides are wrong, and only i’m right, but i have been thinking about sabrina’s album cover controversy. to me, it’s pretty evident that she is going to be exploring her own compliance in getting into relationships where she gets treated badly or well like a dog. while manchild is a tongue-in-cheek mocking song that is all about how she just keeps stumbling into bed with these loser men, woe is me, there is an obvious irony to lines like “won’t you let an innocent woman be?” “i swear they choose me, i’m not choosing them.” sabrina is hardly an innocent doe-eyed girl. she is very sharp and experienced in relationships, and no one is forcing her to date these men. the music video further emphasizes this point by showcasing her hitchhiking into increasingly more ridiculous automobiles with increasingly more ridiculous men who all let her down in various absurd and/or violent ways. and yet the closing shot of the video is her getting out of one car and immediately running over and jumping into the next, continuing the cycle. so while the song on the surface externalizes the blame for her mistreatment to basically everyone but her, the subtext is all about how sabrina is the one doing this to herself. when i see the album cover of her smiling at the camera on her knees while a man holds her hair like a leash, i see a deep and very uncomfortable self-awareness and acknowledgement happening here. it’s obviously going to be dressed up in the shiny pop music veneer and sabrina’s signature brand of dry humor, but this is a very sensitive topic that most upcoming pop girls wouldn’t touch with a ten feet pole because it is humiliating to admit that you’re complicit in your own mistreatment and degradation. that you aren’t just posing as a dog, but you actually let men treat you like one. manchild isn’t just the first single from the album but also the opening track, setting the stage for what the album will be exploring. and again while on the surface it looks like your usual my ex is a loser classic fare, in actuality it is all about how sabrina is deluding herself about her choice of partners. “manchild, why you always come running to me?” she asks, and i’m willing to bet that she is going to be answering that question in the album, eventually coming to the conclusion that these things aren’t as one-sided as she initially presented them to be. from what i’ve seen, sabrina is very smart and very deliberate when it comes to her branding. i highly doubt she chose such a sensational image just to “appeal to the male gaze.” yes the picture is meant to play into that trope, but hardly in a glorifying way.
#i’m also aware of the fact that she probably chose the cover to generate controversy cause all pr is good pr but again#she has been so intentional with her artistic choices in this past year that i really doubt there is not more to it#people seem to have a hard time believing pop music can be smart#sabrina carpenter#man’s best friend
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Was dissecting the SOTM trailer and apparently your monty is a mm member comic is now canon




ANOTHER WIN FOR MONTY ENJOYERS!!!
(Original comic)
#ask reply#YOU GUYS DONT understand how hyped I got seeing that gator#I knew Monty would have just a bit more lore#cause he’s literally a swamp animal has been shown to be friendly with Mr hippo#and tge mm members being shown as in the swamp too#it much of been they were all early concepts#that faz ent use now as backup characters#I wanna say too that this SOTM Monty#he’ll probably have a small side story in notes or something#over how he was considered to be Freddy’s partner#but they instead went with springbonnie#so it can set up Bonnie and Monty’s beef LMAO#that might be delusional take but I’d be so here for it#haters for life Monty and Bonnie art 🩵#I feel so smart my brain is huge one win for me#I doubt Monty will be mega important but will be an interesting side thing#I’ll take my crumbs#idk if it’s canon just yet but him being shown is enough for me lmao close enough !!#we take those!!
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(common superstitions from the perspective of a USAmerican- would love to hear superstitions from other regions and cultures!)
(follow the most often when the situation arises, or believe in the strongest)
#(i doubt any of these actually *originate* in the US i just mean what we have commonly culturally adopted)#not counting blessing a sneeze cause that would for sure win i think#poll#polls#tumblr poll#tumblr polls#superstitions#psychology#sociology
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Huntrix's final move
#kpop demon hunters#kpdh#huntrix#polytrix#rumi#zoey#mira#zoey kpdh#mira kpdh#rumi kpdh#*#i actually have a pet theory abt this move#that the only person who can do it is the one most in line with the fans/honmoon and thus their weapons since we see their weapons are#directly powered by the fans when all their souls come together at the end#and so thats why at the beginning they can go 'we need rumi!' and later they can save rumis ass on their own#because that power has transferred to mira as rumi starts to doubt the cause#& also part of how mira knows something is wrong
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holy shit. in the scene in DDBA episode 4 where Matt is approaching Frank’s hideout, you can hear a steady beat underlying the score. Matt located Frank by his fucking heartbeat.
#that’s absolutely fucking crazy#I think the common fic trope of Frank having an insanely steady heartbeat might just be fanon#but I don’t doubt that Matt knows what it sounds like#after all the time Matt spent with Frank in S2#and the inconvenience that caused him as DD tracking down the Punisher and as Matt when his firm took on the case#(I won’t say Matt was working on it personally. we all know that shit was Foggy and Karen lmao)#I don’t doubt that Matt learned Frank’s heartbeat just to know when to expect shit to go down#or to know how to find him to shake him down about local murders and get unsolicited advice about Matt’s own demons :)#matt murdock#daredevil#frank castle#the punisher#daredevil: born again#ddba#daredevil spoilers#daredevil: born again spoilers#ddba spoilers#DDBA episode 4#sic semper systema#marvel#mcu
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i think that majority of the people have the wrong idea about what was going on in sanji's head when he left for wci by himself. you are only partially right if you think it's cause of his bullshit self sacrificial tendencies. what he did IS a sacrifice but way too many people seem to think that one of the reasons he tried to handle it all on his own is 'cause he didn't think luffy could handle fighting two powerhouses/cause he didn't trust luffy. for fuck's sake, this man was by his captain's side when he declared war on the world government. sanji whole-heartedly believes in luffy's downright baffling and almost godlike power. he trusts his captain will win any fight he gets himself into.
he just thinks that he isn't worth fighting for. that he isn't worth getting hurt over.
the thing is, right, he loves luffy. he loves the crew. he knows the crew loves him. but he himself thinks he is fundamentally disposable. this thought is first seen in thriller bark when he tries to stand in front of kuma, calling zoro stupid for abandoning his ambition and throwing away his life and dream instead. he says "i've always been prepared to sacrifice myself for the others." and he says it like, this is all that i am good for. he tells them they have to find a new cook because sanji genuinely, whole heartedly believes he is dispensable. he thinks, that old man ate his leg to save my dream so i will die to save theirs. little does he know that he is so, so wrong. zeff is not some hero who was trying to save a kid he didn't know. zeff isn't a good man. zeff's choice wasn't a sacrifice. it was a choice. he chose to save sanji and bestow him with his dream. he chose to love sanji like his son. but sanji always sees himself as something that zeff or luffy couldn't avoid because they were fundamentally kind people who took in strays and were burdened with him, that he was an obligation they were trying to fulfill. he shoulders all this and thinks, he thought i was worth something when I really was not so maybe, like this, i can be useful.
but zoro knocks him out and he doesn't get that zoro was trying to say that he is indispensable, that he matters to the crew. no, what he hears is the crack of his ribs and feels white-hot shame because of course, what was he thinking, his life isn't worth that much. he isn't worthy of dying for his captain. he is weak and useless and pathetic. and because zoro and sanji are zoro and sanji, they never clear up this neat little misunderstanding.
now at whole cake island, he does the same thing. he knows luffy will come for him, you see, because he knows his foolish captain loves him. but he kicks him and screams obscenities because he thinks himself unworthy of all that love. he thinks himself hollow, a vessel of convenience. there are a million fighters in the grandline and even more cooks and none of them are even half fucked up and selfish and needy as he is. surely luffy will be better off without him. luffy can win this fight, but sanji thinks he shouldn't have to fight because he thinks he isn't worth fighting for.
#whenever people doubt sanji's loyalty for luffy or his trust in luffy's capabilities i get So frustrated#you don't get it my guy is just imposter syndrome personified#and then luffy says “i can't be pirate king without you sanji!” and it hits him like a punch to his face cause#luffy isn't saying he needs his food. he isn't saying he needs him to fight for him.#he's saying he needs *him*. just him. just sanji#yeah man i have a lot of feelings about sanji and wci.#vi talks#blackleg sanji#sanji#monkey d luffy#roronoa zoro#luffy#thriller bark#whole cake island#one piece#vi does meta
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I just cant stop im sorry
#hi i am back :)#my mental health took a severe nose dive these last two months (it already wasn't great to begin with)#because of that i've been struggling with a lot of self doubt and anxiety about my art which caused me to just kinda disappear#I've been applying to jobs but have had little luck so far#and i need to really work on a portfolio but its hard to make one when you barely feel like picking up a pen.#i feel really pressured to become insanely good at art cause its the only thing i've got going for me#but i'm not sure I can keep up with industry demands#and its hard to want to make things when your livelihood is on the line#not to mention the current state of the US lol#but despite this i'm going to continue to make art even if I never make a living off of it#cause I don't think I could imagine myself living any other way#I’m only 22 after all#my life is far from over#my oc#myart#oc#oc art#original character#illustration#digital drawing
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Hi!! Your Cherik is so good and gorgeous 🤩🤩 If you don't mind wanna try to draw some Fall of X Cherik please?
thank you so much !!
i have a couple of ideas relating to the fall of x period specifically since theres. A Lot i wanna play with, so i hope this lil thing may be a satisfactory start :]]
and the obligatory bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#fall of x#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#for clarity on of this tag ramble im calling magneto max OK ok#sorry it took me a while to answer- ive been busy this week !#but yah like i said theres a lot of Fall Of X moments i wanna poke at#one i really wanted to doodle around was max's time with the shadow king from Resurrection of Magneto#the third issue is prob my fave in general if im so tbh .... but i wont prattle bout that ill go back to my previous prattle#i dont think i have a comic in mind prob just a doodle with shadow charles....#i mean if im devious enough i can def turn it into a comic but for now i just know i wanna do something with that#honestly even this moment i might revisit when i have more time to draw something. a lil better#i dont hate this its a sound start- but i THINK i wanna draw a smooch. a lil kiss. idk we'll see#cause im cheeky like that. 'will this be the last time i see you' 'girl idk we can kiss about it though' etc etc#god not to get off topic but im so curious what will happen with these two ... but thats for a diff post i guess#honestly if you guys have any runs i should read lemme know !! i just finished way of x and bar that ive just been reading the 60s issues#i have a couple on my list i wanna check out but im always excited to look into recs if yall think theyre worth it !!#but ya. thats all from me for now#my time is so finite this week i hope i can draw these sillies again soon .. i have a lot of ideas i fear#maybe i can sneak in one more doodle tonight ... <- doubtful
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@sillyxaly suggested Jw adopting SJ and it was too fun to brainrot about with @ace-shenanigans too.
Rest assured, no matter the au variation, as long as SJ is adopted by a tgcf character, he shall be the bane of Jw's existence and make him consider early retirement.
#very rushed doodles#not my best work but doubt quality is why you're here on this blog now are you#svsss#shen jiu#tgcf#jun wu#mei nianqing#implied junmei cause I love them and have a problem#original shen qingqiu#svsss au#tgcf au#JW just saw the kid and he is too like Mnq to ignore#the more he interacts with the kid the more he is starting to wonder if him and Mnq spawned this child without even touching in centuries#like the 2k yo virgins they are#sj is not amused. he is salting jw's tea and otherwise making his life a nuisance#jw tried the bwx thing but sj was not having it and honestly?#the emotional damage SJ retaliated with just does NOT make it worth it to torture the kid#you could stab him a 100 times and he'd still sass JW smth like#'this won't make your ex take you back you know'#'just because you can't own up to being a monster does not mean I can't'#'bitch why you need another to validate your life choices for you that you regret? dumbass'#anyway that path was quickly discarded by JW#really SJ is his perfect heir if only the kid didn't always do exactly what he does not want him to do out of pure spite#fun fact he is the sweetest lil momma's boi with mnq of course#because he knows mnq will adore him and side with him then#jw cannot win
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finally settled on a Silena design \o/ survived/revived!AU here just cause I wanted to give her a cute eyepatch and try drawing her scars. I've struggled with how to dress her for ages and what headcanons I wanna do for her but then I realized I can give her a saree and all my problems are solved <3
I imagine in a survived/revived au she's mostly blind in both eyes, it's just one requires more protection than the other ergo the eyepatch. Also it means her and Ethan match.
#pjo#riordanverse#silena beauregard#ethan nakamura#my art#i stuggle so bad with how to dress characters which is why i love pjo character design/ocs specifically. cause when in doubt. tshirt.#the aphrodite kids besides Piper give me trouble though cause i have to actually think about like. fashion. and how people dress.#and im very bad at that </3#sarees to the rescue though <3 theyre so pretty#if yall see me go wild in the next couple weeks just drawing Silena in a billion sarees i will not apologize#drapey fabric is fun to draw. draped fabric go brrrr#also if anyone's curious i always give her a moon hair clip thingy on her bun cause of her name - ''Silena'' is from ''Selene''
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low key…if stranger things was trying to queerbait they would’ve had SO MANY byler scenes in the trailer only for there to be like 3 in the actual show but bc it’s reversed and mileven has the trailer scene…it’s getting real
#this paired w the fact that noah and finn spent a ton of time filming together only for none of it to be in the trailer it’s like…#what are you guys hiding…#also this is off topic but i’ve had to unfollow a lot of fiyeraba shippers cause they’ve been posting about mileven like wtf#maybe i ship fiyeraba but at least i have STANDARDS#somehow that trailer got me so back into byler i’ve been reading fanfiction again ITS GETTING REAL#people are doubting but i’ve never been more sure that it’s happening everything about the trailer is just too suspicious#like why wouldn’t you show the main character and his crush more if there wasn’t something to hide#WE ARE SO BACK#stranger things#byler endgame#byler#will byers#mike wheeler#stranger things 5
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Hi ive been following for a bit and I. Honestly wouldn’t say you’re mean? Like on a first or even second misunderstanding you tend to be very understanding and accommodating and you explain your point concisely, it’s when people like. Almost intentionally ignore and mince your words and at that point I think you’ve deserve to be a bit testy, yknow?
did not feel comfortable saying that myself because i can only see from my own point of view, but yeah, I'm relieved to hear that's not just my impression. crazy but I don't actually enjoy being mean, and i especially don't enjoy getting treated like an overzealous idiot on a topic I'm clearly well versed in
#you better have some REALLY well argued opinions if you wanna condescendingly loresplain at me#cause i have turned around and said ''hey i think you're right. i hadn't considered that'' to people who were utterly disrespecting me.#and i mean Disrespecting. because i value having a solid opinion and well done discussion above any sense of pride i might have#but if you got all condescending and didn't even have the mind to have a point? I'm not being nice. or giving you any benefit of doubt#I'm beating your ass. learn some manners and learn to read#answered asks
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cute guy from are we allies or enemies as a gift for @gladumf
#if you haven't read this fic you absolutely should it's so so good#i started this in. september. erm#sorry for taking so long#i doubt this was worth the wait but here is it anyway !#i don't really have a good reason for it. partly cause i had to draw a city background#partly cause i. augh#grian#grian fanart#cute guy#fic fanart#raff's art
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It really is so true that you never know what someone’s going through behind closed doors. I’ve made being gentle and kind my default bc I’ve had super put together friends disclose the most harrowing time of their lives to me and it’s like oh?? You were going through that???? I would’ve never guessed
#It’s easy to reduce people to side characters or caricatures but you never know. You truly never know what someone’s going through or what#Could push them over the edge. Cruelty will never be worth potentially causing someone permanent damage#I’ve realized this after having a conversation w a friend of mine who sailed straight to med school#Tons of leadership roles#Thriving social life#Yet she just told me her hair was falling out from anxiety. Never in a million years would I have guessed that she was struggling#But she was and lots of people play things close to their chest like that#I really wanna be kind each time I can and to also come from a place of compassion#Bc ik I’ve been misunderstood by people before who reduced me to a caricature or just didn’t know what was happening in my life#I want to actively work on extending the benefit of the doubt to the same people I would want to extend the benefit of the doubt to me
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POV: Evil murder kitten tries to evil murder you in your sleep. She's desperate for a reason not to evil murder you because she does not want to.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#i know i've posted this one before#but i just can't get over how cute and adorable she is right here - she really looks like a startled cat#regardless of whether you sleep with her or not#the prism still temporarily broke her connection to the absolute and then returned it to her right when she was about to kill you#and it sparked an immediate crisis of faith because everything about that night is all wrong - except for you#you having no connection to the absolute causes her to doubt the extent of the absolute's control#but she also begins to question the absolute as she found peace in the silence - peace in the absolute *not* controlling her for once#even with the absolute having returned to her - she still wants a reason *not* to kill you#in that moment she clocked you as a potential enemy of the absolute and by her oath - she would be obligated to kill you#which is why the only reason you can get her to stand down is by proving to her that you are not an enemy#and it is pretty easy to convince her that you're not an enemy because she is that desperate for any excuse from you#minthara is not the kind of person who would back off and run from a fight - and is definitely not spooked about assassinations#and she most certainly has stabbed someone in their sleep before and has killed a lover#but she does not like to engage in fights that she does not think are necessary nor to kill those she does not have a reason to kill#the fact that she pulled away when you caught her and she didn't immediately escalate the conflict into a full fight#is a pretty big indication that she has some pretty extreme doubts about the absolute - and *she* does not see you as an enemy
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