#caterpillar gi

[nuncamuere]

"Plus, I tend to have a bad memory for things I don't like."

Took a break from my complicated piece I'm chipping away at to doodle my monster bf 🐛

[burningparadiseduck]

Nilou. That’s it.

[marleyybluu]

The Prettiest Girl

Pedro Pascal x black!reader

Summary: You start to become riddled with insecurities but your husband Pedro sets it right

Warnings: just fluff, Pedro being the best husband, talks about body insecurities, post-partum insecurities. lmk if i missed any.

not my gif

You’d thought highly of yourself for a good majority of your life, credit to your mom for always speaking of you in a beautiful, she was the one that helped you build your confidence to the point you were tipping arrogance but never crossed it.

How you carried yourself is what really impressed Pedro, you held your head high, and you spoke like you were so sure of yourself that it reeled him in and kept him there.

You two grew together, falling and apart and getting back together more times than you could count but that’s what happens when you’re young and you’re not healed or matured from previous relationships. It’s all the same.

But the next few years felt like they were out of a movie. You were married and after a while of it just being the two of you you soon had three goblins running around your house screaming about how much they all hated each other one minute and cuddled up on the couch watching a Disney movie the next.

You were beyond happy.

For the most part.

It was a well-kept secret that you were slowly becoming insecure over the years, you didn't know the toll that having one baby would take on your body and then you ended up having another one and then another. The baby weight just piles on and pulls you down, and you found yourself in front of the mirror constantly finding new things to hate.

If it wasn't the stretch marks it was the cellulite, if it wasn't your rolls touching it was the extra skin that sagged courtesy of your pregnant belly.

It's not the body you were used to. You had seen moms who had five kids and had "snapped back" so when would it be your turn?

And you wouldn't dare utter a word about this to Pedro.

But he could sense a shift in the way you dressed, even the way you would sit on the couch using a pillow to cover you which you never did.

Tonight was no different, after asking Pedro to put the kids to bed you showered and dried off. Doing your usual routine of toners, serums and moisturizers. You avoided looking in the mirror once you lotioned your body.

A new habit you picked up.

When you were finished with that you put on a tank top and some shorts that rolled up due to your new thick thighs, which even you had to admit was the one part of your body you didn't mind.

Pedro burst into the room, gently closing the door and locking it. "If I have to read The Hungry Caterpillar one more time, I will eat that book myself." He chuckled to himself but quickly frowned when you didn't laugh, he caught you examining yourself in the mirror with a concentrated, yet worried, look on your face.

"Pedro, honey... do you still think I'm pretty?" The question slipping from you without a thought to filter it first. His eyebrows came together. Why on Earth would you ask him that?

"Of course, I think you're pretty. I think you're smokin' hot."

You sighed pulling the band of your shorts to cover your lower stomach.

"Even after the kids?"

"Especially after the kids baby, are you kidding me?"

Pedro hurried over to you, scooping you up in his arms, staring at your reflections. He pressed a sweet kiss on your neck. "I tell you every day how beautiful you are, and if you don't believe it then maybe I'm not doing my job right."

You shook your head, you did appreciate the compliments he gave, they were the only thing giving you even an ounce of confidence in yourself. "You're doing your job just fine, trust me."

"Then why are you standing here doubting your beauty huh? I'm still in love with you, baby, what the hell would change that? I still think you're the prettiest girl on the block that rejected me more times than I could count."

That earned a small giggle from you. He rested his head against yours and smiled. "The pretty girl who could look me in the eyes and I'd melt in seconds, the one with the sweet mahogany skin that I love to kiss all over... every single inch."

You leaned into him.

"I love your body just as much as I used to if not more. I mean this body keeps me warm and happy, it carried our three beautiful blessings that I cherish with all my heart. This body, this face, this person that I married is all I think about baby. You're my muse.

You were blushing, you looked down to hide your face but he took his finger and pressed it under your chin tilting your head back up. "You are my fucking world."

You carefully spun around in his arms. "I'm too lucky."

"Mmm," He groaned pecking your lips, you felt yourself being lifted off the ground, your legs wrapped around his waist.

"I'm about to show you how lucky I am."

tags: @skyesthebomb @one-sweet-gubler

decided to feed the Pedro girlies just a little crumb. I just missed writing about him a bit🤧

if you liked this fic, feel free to like this fic. comments and reblogs are super appreciated.

peace and love

[lothli]

III: Cacophaton

He was following me home. I could hear the faint buzzing — not with my ears, but within my brain. The elevated heartbeat, the desperate yearning for everything and nothing. The Long, the man-insect-creature. I tried to lose him.

He continued to follow. To be perfectly honest, shaking him would be near impossible. I needed to confront him.

The streets here were quiet and abandoned. I stopped, and so did he. The buzzing softened.

We stared at each other. He had returned to a more human form, but the faint incongruities remain. He smelled of hemolymph, and the buzzing of insects surrounded him. His eyes were an inky black, with no whites to speak of. They swirled with something unknowable.

He grinned at me before a cacophony of voices spilled out.

"I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I DON'T care, I don't CARE—" "Extra! Extra! Read alllllllll about it!—" "I don't like it here please get me out please get me out please—" "Moths are a group of insects that includes all members of the order Lepidoptera that are not—"

They shrieked, jarringly separate, overlapping, and contradictory. I flinched, backing away instinctively as the barrage continued.

"Do you want to hear a secret? Too bad, too bad! Those are aaaaall mine! But if—" "Step One: Start by pouring the spaghetti into a pot of boiling water. Add a can of motor oil—" "—the rules for distinguishing moths from butterflies are not well established, one very good guiding principle is—" "WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!?"

My head hurt. Was he even saying anything? Did it matter?

"Stop. Talking." I needed it to stop, but he certainly didn’t obey me.

"What does a caterpillar think when it spins its cocoon? Does it know—" "The modern English word moth comes from Old English moððe—" "It's okay, it's okay. I'm sorry. I can't control it, it's just—" "Non posse à nobis dubitari, quin existamus dum dubitamus—"

I had to remember: he wasn’t human. He was Long and not a hostile one at that. I couldn’t afford to do something hasty. But still, this method of communication was unbearable.

"Please. I cannot understand you when you are like this." Desperately, I tried to bargain with him. He tilted his head a bit, and the endless deluge of voices thins.

"Fine, fine, mortal. Is this good enough?— while moths are notorious for eating clothing, most species do not, and some moth adults do not even —toned it down for you a little. I wouldn't do this if I didn't like — in gi rum imus noc te et con sumi — so. That's about it."

I blinked. It was slightly more comprehensible, but I still struggled to process his words.

"What is it that you want?"

"A little birdy told me that you've been poking around, investigating, cutting up Children. Moths frequently appear to circle artificial lights, although the reason for this behavior (positive phototaxis) is currently unknown. It's not that I don't approve, it's more that — Step Five: Squeeze a dollop of toothpaste into the mixture. Toothpaste — someone as weak as you to do something like that, you feel, understand, get me?"

I was finally starting to understand him. I focused, parsing out that one voice, flitting about, constantly changing, and zeroed in on it. I took a deep breath.

"Okay, okay. So from what I understand, you think I was being reckless by taking on the Children by myself, but you don't disapprove?"

"Right, right, you got it. And hey! You've actually managed to filter out a single, solitary, unique voice, huh? That's quite impressive, spectacular, great!" he grinned, just slightly too wide.

"Your voice. Do you have any control over the rest of them?" The other voices were still droning on and on, and I gritted my teeth.

"Ah, well, you see, this voice is the one that's trying to actually communicate with you. Everything else, all those other words I speak, are merely random things that have floated into my head and come spilling out." He cricked his neck, the sound reminiscent of an insect being crushed. "They're quite wonderful thoughts, of course. I'd really recommend you try out my spaghetti recipe later, at the very least!"

"And why is this voice the only one that can communicate? Why are the other voices there in the first place?"

He laughed, his cackle echoing through the night air like the buzzing of a thousand moth wings.

"Because, you silly human, you foolish mortal, you are only slightly, marginally interesting. Interesting enough to attract my attention, which is an accomplishment, a feat. But certainly not ALL of my attention. No, no, no, not quite, not nearly, not yet."

"What do you want?"

"You have been cutting up Children, butchering them. And that's great! I hate those damn Winter cultists. They're too stagnant for my tastes, you see. Too... uninteresting. But, that said, your methods are, unfortunately, somewhat lacking. You have a tiny little knife, and you try to stand against Long? That won't work unless you're Long yourself! Which you're not. You're just a mortal who’s a little bit sharp, has a little bit of Edge. And that's no good."

I didn’t like where this was going. There was no way he was suggesting...

"No, no, no. I can tell by your face that you're worried about my ulterior motives, or my plans, or something." The Moth Long’s face scrunched up in disgust. "Are you mocking me? Do you not understand Moth? We don't give two whits about that kind of thing. We're all about the now, and the now is that I'm a bit bored, and you're a bit interesting, and so I want to see how you can cut up these Children of Silence. And I think you want that, too."

"What I want is for the cults to be destroyed. Not simply weakened. Destroyed." And him, too. But I wasn’t stupid enough to say that out loud.

"Good! Good! I hate Winter, and I hate stagnation, and I hate the Dead, and I hate the silence! And one of the best way to destroy something is with Edge! You're quite versed in Edge, aren't you? I can see the scars! The scars on your skin, which you refuse to shed." His eyes gleamed, and I shuddered.

"Edge is a tool, nothing more. But if you're offering, I would be a fool to decline."

He grinned, a wide gash across his face.

"I'll offer a helping hand, a hand, a hand cut off from The Son, a hand that doesn't know itself!"

"It's not a literal hand, I hope," I groaned. I wouldn’t put it past him.

"Nope, not a real one, not quite, not yet. Here." He tosses over a worn ball of iron — no, Taenite-iron. It fit comfortably within my palm. "That's the kinda thing I'm talking about. It's sharp, it's strong, it's heavy, and it will cut through almost anything. A bullet used to hunt monsters, of creatures bigger than any mortal. You can keep it around, let it hone your Edge, or use it. Fire it. Pierce someone with it. Make a nice, new scar."

"I thought you said the best way to destroy something is with Edge." A rounded ball didn’t seem very Edge-like to me.

The Moth Long pretended to make a shocked face. "This is an Edge artifact! I'm hurt. Do you think I'm lying? I'm not. I don't lie, not often, just sometimes, not to you, not yet."

I sighed, eyeing the artifact. On closer inspection, it seemed to be infused with Edge, with a strange sharpness that belied its shape. I pocketed it.

"You're right. I'll take it."

"Excellent. Excellent. I will see you around, then." He stood, and his moth wings burst out from his back. His eyes shone in the dark, and he flew into the sky. He was gone, leaving only a few wayward moths in his wake.

I stared into the night. The first light of dawn was peaking above the buildings. I needed to retreat and rest up. I would have more work to do, and soon.

[sagarg889]

Marine Selective Catalytic Reduction Systems Market Analysis, Key Players, Industry Segments & Forecast 2023 to 2033

The global marine selective catalytic reduction systems market may reach a valuation of US$ 4.77 billion by 2023, at a CAGR of 6.0%. By 2033, the global market projections indicate a value of US$ 8.54 billion.

Key Market Dynamics

The global maritime selective catalytic reduction (SCR) systems market is expected to develop significantly through 2033. Owing to a steady increase in shipbuilding activity, particularly in growing economies such as South Korea, China, and Japan.

The growing seaborne trading business, combined with severe rules governing maritime pollution, may fuel market expansion. Increasing maritime tourism and constant boating activity across sea areas can hasten marine SCR system deployment.

Get a Sample Copy of this Report @ https://www.futuremarketinsights.com/reports/sample/rep-gb-16915

The high installation and upfront investment costs of a selective catalytic reduction in ships may limit its application. The retrofitting of marine SCR systems necessitates the inactivity of ships, which hurts the shipping marine selective catalytic reduction systems market advancement.

Adopting favorable legislation to stimulate sustainable systems adoption creates lucrative opportunities for marine SCR industry growth. Moreover, the market growth is predicted to gain value from the growing investment in refining maritime fleets.

Application Insight

Marine selective catalytic reduction systems sales volume from commercial applications is poised to strengthen at a steady CAGR through 2032. This increase is attributed to the increased production of container vessels, bulk carriers, tankers, and other commercial vessels. The sea route has evolved as a favored alternative for global transportation networks.

These characteristics and the advent of attractive government incentive schemes to modernize maritime transportation can accelerate the use of marine SCR systems to minimize emissions from commercial vessel engines.

Asia Pacific Economic Picture

From 2023 to 2033, the Asia Pacific marine selective catalytic reduction systems market is expected to develop more than 6% CAGR. Furthermore, constant innovation, in collaboration with attractive investments in creating new solutions, is anticipated to strengthen the regional prospect.

Exponentially rising shipbuilding activities, particularly in Japan, South Korea, and China, are likely to benefit marine SCR systems adoption across the Asia Pacific.

Key Takeaways

Due to the increasing development of sea route networks, the segment for offshore marine selective catalytic reduction systems is expected to transcend around US$ 4.5 billion by 2033.

The navy segment had a market worth more than US$ 1.2 billion in 2022; revenue growth was anticipated from 2023 through 2032.

By 2033, North America's marine selective catalytic reduction systems market is projected to be worth more than US$ 1 billion.

Market growth for marine selective catalytic reduction systems in Asia Pacific may exceed 6% CAGR between 2023 and 2033.

Competitive Landscape

To improve the application of these systems, the leading manufacturers are focusing on making huge expenditures.  They are indulged in utilizing competitive resources and strategic mergers and alliances.

Tenneco, Wärtsilä, YARA International, Hyundai, Mitsubishi, Johnson Matthey, PANASIA, Hitachi Zosen, MAN Energy Solutions, Agriemach, Hug Engineering, DCL International, Caterpillar, ECOUREA, ME Production, DEC Marine are among the leading marine selective catalytic reduction systems manufacturers.

Recent Development

Acquisition

Daewoo Shipbuilding & Marine Engineering acquired six B&W 11G95ME-GI Mk10.5 from MAN Energy Solutions in July 2021. This acquisition aims to construct six ultra-large container vessels of 23,500+ TEU for Hapag Llyod.

Agreement

In September 2022, DAMEN Naval and Rolls-Royce Power Systems signed an agreement. The agreement is to supply DAMEN with MTU Series 4000 gensets for the German Navy's upgraded F126 frigates. Rolls-scope Royce's for the F126 frigates covers both automation and power technology. With this deal, Rolls-Royce maintains its long-standing collaboration with the German Navy.

Get Full Information on this Report @ https://www.futuremarketinsights.com/reports/marine-selective-catalytic-reduction-systems-market

Marine Selective Catalytic Reduction System Market By Application Key Segments

Marine Selective Catalytic Reduction System for Commercial:

Containers

Tankers

Bulk Carriers

Roll On/Roll Off

Marine Selective Catalytic Reduction System for Offshore:

AHTS

PSV

FSV

MPSV

Marine Selective Catalytic Reduction System for Recreational:

Cruise Ships

Ferries

Yachts

Marine Selective Catalytic Reduction System for Navy:

Marine Selective Catalytic Reduction System Market by Region

Marine Selective Catalytic Reduction System in North America

Marine Selective Catalytic Reduction System in Europe

Marine Selective Catalytic Reduction System in Asia Pacific

Marine Selective Catalytic Reduction System in Latin America

Marine Selective Catalytic Reduction System in the Middle East & Africa

[definitelyyessnakedemons]

i'm pretty much Weird Crossovers Georg, here's a list of fandoms I've crossed in my fics (leaving out a few that i think aren't weird):

Hellsing/Madoka Magica

Precure/SCP Foundation

The Dragon Prince/What We Do In The Shadows

The Sandman/Wicked Lovely

RWBY/Pet Shop of Horrors

The Locked Tomb/Weather Warden

The Vampire Diaries/RWBY/Pet Shop of Horrors

Good Omens/Castlevania

Ace Attorney/Cirque du Freak

The Witcher/SCP Foundation

The Locked Tomb/SCP Foundation

The Witcher/The Locked Tomb

Ace Attorney/The Witcher

Sweeney Todd/Pet Shop of Horrors

Good Omens/Angel Sanctuary/Weather Warden

Carmilla web series/Dark-Hunters

Castlevania/Pet Shop of Horrors

Hellsing/One Piece

RWBY/Hellsing

Hellsing/How to Keep a Mummy

Fullmetal Alchemist/The Nightmare Before Christmas

Weather Warden/Katawa Shoujo

Final Fantasy VI/Yu-gi-oh

Chobits/Ace Attorney

Bleach/Attack on Titan

Evangelion/Attack on Titan

RWVY/Monster Musume

Death Note/Pet Shop of Horrors

Pet Shop of Horrors/The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Skip Beat/Monster Mussume

Sweeney Todd/Pet Shop of Horrors

Fruits Basket/Bleach

Saw/Death Note

Death Note/Knives Out

Angel Sanctuary/Fight Club

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle/Loveless

Fruits Basket/xxxHolic

What’s the weirdest crossover au you’ve ever seen/read/written?

[quickspinner]

Continuing my trend of noticing weird differences in the dubs...

French Luka makes a lot more noise than American Luka. There’s lots of places where there’s little noises like a hmm or a gasp or even (in Silencer) a growl where the English VO has no noise at all. Even when the American voice actor does growl (in Silencer when he’s getting frustrated and tries to get Marinette to just give up and leave) it’s like a tiny baby growl compared to French Luka’s growl. If you have Netflix go play that bit with the French narration turned on. French Luka is like 10x more pissed in that moment than American Luka.

I wonder if the difference is cultural or production related? I’ve noticed it some on other characters, now that I’ve started to look for it. For example, in Frozer, when Marinette tells the girls that she and Adrien are better of friends, they all sort of look at each other before they all start to talk at once. In the French dub they are all making some kind of “hmm” or “uhh” sound and in the English dub that moment is completely silent. Maybe it’s differences in the recording studio directions?

Also, unrelated to the above, but French Jagged Stone sounds exactly like me trying to speak French, which is fun because it makes him easy for me to understand, but I think he’s supposed to be American rather than British or whatever he is in the English dub. I’ve never heard a British person try to speak French with a lousy accent though, so I’m not sure. I would be so fascinated to read an analysis of accents and the way people talk in the French version, esp what kind of differences there, if any, between Adrien and Chat Noir.

[burritodetodo]

Infinity Train Book 4 Review (SPOILERS)

It's sad I have to make the final review of that wonderful series that was Infinity Train. I've been rooting for it since 2016 (in fact you can check my archive and even I could interview Owen after the pilot aired) and loved every season. Anyway, the *final* book went out great, being the most sensitive season of the show thanks to the dynamics of Ryan, Min-Gi and Kez.

Spoilers below

The book is about Ryan and Min, two best friends from childhood who grew together but have very different personalities and problemas but can't deal/notice them as young adults. Set in the 80s (1983?), there're many references to that decade and the 70s: from David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust to Min's Stylophone (a musical toy popular in the 70s and 80s). Anyway, they end up on the endless train after an argument and a chase.

Inside they meet Kez (voiced by the awesome Minty Lewis), a flying bell who is the worst best denizen of all seasons. Yes, more than One One or Alan Dracula. She is clumsy and thanks to that she creates lots of enemies: from a caterpillar (voiced by CHARACTER ACTRESS MARGO MARTINDALE), a cow, a pig baby (played by JK Simmons!) and some parka aliens. She, Ryan and Min go through the many cars and end on her "home": a sentient castle.

This season leaves darkness and horror of the two previous books in spite of sensitiveness and emotion. Ryan and Min test their friendship through lots of situations, usual endless choo choo, while Kez in the end realizes she has to be humble and be sorry for what she did.

Best episodes are The Party Car, where the band tries to play at a party organized by Kez but Min has anxiety and leaves Ryan hanging. That episode has such a bittersweet ending that reminds me a lot of some Futurama episodes, like the one Fry has the Robot Devil hands.

The other one is The Art Gallery Car where everything is set as a horror movie and the Hand Monster, who fills passengers and denizens with bad thoughts, is quite sinister and horrible. A while ago I said Primal did excellent by giving animated horror and now Infinity Train mastered this genre too.

This book is lighter on its themes than the others but doesn't quit on the lore. We see Samantha The Cat, we see a young Amelia and Steward Amelia, we see One before One-One in the Steward form.

It's such a shame see Cartoon Network cancelling this masterpiece because its not aimed to children. I wish Warner could step in and "transfer" that IP to a in-house studio, maybe a 100% Max Original. Dunno, I'm thinking out loud. I also wish this book wouldn't be the last we hear from Infinity Train and could be back soon. If Adventure Time had its cancellation and came back, the neverending train too!

Note: Owen is a very nice guy either on social media and in person, or at least the 30 seconds I met him here in Argentina. Man he even delivered his fellow Sam Spina a Christmas postcard I made for him! He's one of the good guys and I wish Owen the best to come in his projects and life.

[mountainmothermedicinalsblog]

Goldenrod

It’s Goldenrod or Solidago season!

Solidago, often called goldenrod, is a genus of around 100 species of flowering plants in the aster family, Asteraceae. They are an early fall flowering plant with great medicinal value, especially in regards to your kidneys, bladder, and urinary tract. 

The easiest way to identify Goldenrod is by its leaves. They are primarily smooth with serrations only at the trips. The tiny golden flowering rod-like tops are also a pretty big giveaway. 

Goldenrod often gets blamed for seasonal allergies in the fall but that’s only because it blooms the same time as ragweed. The truth is, goldenrods pollen is stationary, dense, and sticky. It’s completely reliant on insects to pollinate and cannot be pollinated by the wind. Which brings me to my next point...

When you harvest goldenrod, I recommend doing it after dust to avoid the hundreds of bees and wasps that are likely to be riddled within it during the day. Even then, it will likely be home to many spiders and other creepy crawlers. I recommend hanging your harvest over night before processing so that all its inhabitants have the opportunity to vacate. I, of course, did not do this and I’m currently sharing space with roughly 30 new eight-legged friends. (I also found a Caterpillar, as shown in the photo below.)

To harvest simply cut the plant roughly 12 inches above the ground. This should leave you with a long stem and flowering top. You want to harvest when the flowers are in full bloom with some buds. Process by separating the leaves from the flowering tops. You can just pull down on the stem and make quick work of removing the leaves, then nip the tops into a separate vessel.

The leaves make excellent tea and the flowering tops are most often tinctured. I typically throw the rinsed leaves in my Excalibur dehydrator around 90-105 degrees and dry overnight and allow the flowering tops to wilt overnight before making a fresh plant tincture. Goldenrod isn’t limited to teas and tinctures though.

You can infuse dried herb into local honey for a fantastic natural allergy remedy and if you want to get crazy, add vinegar and make an oxymel that will also serve to tone and soothe the GI system. If honey isn’t your gig, make an anti-fungal extract with ACV and use in vaginal steams to combat yeast infections or to even administer to children. 

Goldenrod is also a fantastic anti-oxidant and a good source of the constituent rutin, a powerful flavonoid that benefits the cardiovascular system. The flowers can even be made into an infused oil or salve to aid in the healing of wounds and burns.  

As mentioned at the beginning of this post, Goldenrod has great medicinal value, especially in regards to your kidneys, bladder, and urinary tract. It’s perfect for things like UTIs, bladder infections, kidney stones, etc.So, get out there and find some Goldenrod! She is a fantastic plant ally. I promise it won’t be hard to find, after reading this post you’ll be likely seeing it everywhere.

[let-the-dream-begin]

"Ships in the Night”

Read on AO3

Not for the first time, I got sad thinking about my Angel-Mother. Sometimes, when Da cried, I was too scared to ask him what was wrong, and Auntie Jenny would say:

“He’s just missing yer Ma.”

I didn’t understand for a while. But now I was seven, so I did, and I wondered if it was possible to miss somebody I never met.

——

A little girl with copper hair takes a walk on the beach with her Da.

Featuring lyrics to "Ships" by Barry Manilow woven through the narrative.

——

We walked to the sea, just my father and me.

There was a spray coming in from the water, making a great whooshing sound as it crashed into the sand.

And the dogs played around on the sand.

Bran and Jehu were tumbling in the sand and nipping at each other. They kept slipping when they tried to run. It made me laugh.

Winter cold cut the air, hangin' still everywhere.

It really was cold. The little droplets dancing onto my cheeks felt like they could freeze when they touched my skin. It tickled and made me giggle. Jehu started barking, calling me toward him, and I hiked up my skirts to scamper toward him, but Da stopped me.

Dressed in gray, did he say, "Hold my hand.”

I stopped walking and turned around. He was smiling, but it was sad-smiling. I was used to seeing the sad-smile. He did it a lot. Not as much as he used to, but still a lot.

I smiled up at him, a happy-smile. He was reaching for me, and I took his hand. Da’s hands were big, and always warm. I didn’t realize how cold my small hands were until he covered one of them in one of his.

“Mo ghraidh, ye’re like ice.” The sad-smile changed a bit, his eyebrows crinkling together like little caterpillars. “Gi’ me yer other hand.” He stopped walking and crouched down next to me, and I did as he said. He put down my shoes; he was holding them so I could feel the sand on my toes. He squished both of my little hands between his enormous ones, squeezing and rubbing, blowing on them with his warm breath.

“Canna have ye losin’ any of yer wee fingers, a chiusle.” He smiled a very tiny happy-smile, and his eyes sparkled. “Yer Auntie would box my ears.”

I giggled. I had no doubt that Auntie Jenny would do just that. She didn’t really need an excuse.

Jehu kept barking, and something caught my eye on the horizon.

“What’s that?” I freed one of my hands and pointed into the sea. “A light, Da.”

“I dinna ken, lass.” He sat back, off his knees now, and pulled me into his lap. “Let’s have a look, then.”

I settled between his legs and nuzzled my back into his chest. He put my socks back on my sandy feet, and then he held my hands again.

We sat and watched a distant light.

“Do mermaids glow?” I asked with wonder, watching the sparkling light dance on the water.

“I think they might, aye.” I could hear the happy-smile in his voice.

“So it’s a mermaid,” I said.

“Could be.”

“Or an angel?”

He held me a little tighter when I said that, and his warm lips kissed the top of my head.

“Could be, mo chridhe.”

My eyes widened with wonder, my mouth gaping a little. “Is it Ma?” He didn’t move or talk. “Ma is an angel, aye Da?”

“She is.”

Da’s voice sounded scratchy, like it hurt.

Not for the first time, I got sad thinking about my Angel-Mother. Sometimes, when Da cried, I was too scared to ask him what was wrong, and Auntie Jenny would say:

“He’s just missing yer Ma.”

I didn’t understand for a while. But now I was seven, so I did, and I wondered if it was possible to miss somebody I never met.

“Can ye make the angel come closer, Da?”

“I dinna think so, a nighean. Angels do as they please. We mortals canna influence them, ye ken.”

“Oh.” I didn’t mean for my voice to sound sad.

“What is it, lass?”

“Can Ma no' visit, then? Since we canna…influence?” The new, big word tumbled off my tongue.

“Och, dinna fash. Yer Ma doesna need our influence fer her to visit.”

“Really?”

“Aye. She wants to be wi’ us.”

“Really?”

I heard him clear his throat. “Aye." His voice sounded like it hurt again.

The light went away, and it made me sad. Da didn't talk for a long time.

"D'ye ken why yer name is what it is, a leannan?"

Da's voice rumbled in his chest against my back, and it almost tickled. I scrunched my nose up in thought.

"Nae, Da. I dinna."

"D'ye wish to know?"

"Is it a story, Da?" I shook with excitement.

"Aye, a bit." He turned me around a bit, so I could see his face. Another sad-smile. "When ye were born, I couldna be there."

"Why no'?"

His chin stuck out like it did when he fought with Auntie Jenny. "I did a foolish thing, a nighean. I went and got myself separated from yer Ma."

"What did ye do?"

"I broke a law. The King of France was verra cross wi' me."

"The King?" I gasped, my jaw dropping.

"Aye, lass. I angered the King." He smiled, neither happy or sad, and he chuckled a little, tickling my back again. "He kept me away from ye after ye were born. I sat in a room of stone, and I dreamed of ye, my wee babe wi' a name I didna ken. I dreamed that yer Mam was holding ye close, that I could kiss both of yer beautiful heads."

We're two ships that pass in the night.

"Did ye get out, Da?" I asked eagerly.

"Aye. I did. Grandda Murtagh rescued me."

I smiled proudly. "O' course he did."

He chuckled again.

We both smile and we say, "It's alright."

"He brought me to ye, my beautiful babe, and he told me of how ye came into the world, how ye were christened." He rocked me like I was still the little babe he spoke of, and I didn't mind at all. "My dream was about to come true."

He touched my cheek with his big, warm hand.

"But then Grandda Murtagh told me that yer Mam joined the angels." His voice sounded like it hurt again.

We're still here, it's just that we're out of sight, like those ships that pass in the night.

I felt sad again.

"He told me that yer poor Ma was verra sick, that she couldna give ye a name herself. Mother Hildegaard, a verra good woman, she had ye christened. She gave ye yer name."

"Faith."

"Aye. Faith. Mother Hildegaard knew that we'd need lots o' faith if ye were to live." He brushed one of my curls away. "You were verra sickly too, mo ghraidh."

"But Ma saved me. Aye?"

"That's right, a leannan. She gave ye all her strength. Because she had faith in ye." He gently poked my nose, making me smile. "D'ye see now, lass? D'ye see why yer name is so verra special?"

"Aye, Da." I nodded. "Ma had faith that she could save me, and she did. And you had faith that ye'd get to kiss my head, and ye did."

Da did a sad-laugh, and his eyes looked watery, like the salty spray landed right in them. "Aye, that's it, Faith. Ye've got it." Da's big hand cupped the back of my head, and he put his warm forehead on mine. "Ye're a clever lass, mo chridhe."

I freed my hands from his one-handed grip, and I stroked his scratchy chin and cheeks. It tickled, which I always liked.

"Look, Faith." Da moved so our foreheads weren't touching anymore, nudging his chin to the sea.

There's a boat on the line where the sea meets the sky.

"How far away is that, Da?" I reached out with both hands like I could touch it. "It looks like I could touch it, but it looks like I'll never reach. Ye ken?"

"Aye, I ken." Another rumbly chuckle.

There's another that rides far behind.

"I couldna say how far away they are, lass. The only way to know would be to try and swim to them."

I kept my hands out, reaching and stretching, wiggling my cold little fingers, biting my bottom lip.

"It's like Ma," I said.

"How's that?"

"Sometimes, I think I can reach out and touch her. When ye tell a story about her. And then ye say I have her eyes and her nose, so I think I must ken what she looks like." I let my hands fall back into my lap, feeling sad again. "But that's silly, is it no'? Like it's silly to...to miss her. Even though I never met her."

And it seems you and I are like strangers a wide ways apart as we drift on through time.

"No, a leannan." He held me tight again, rocking me like I was a boat and he was the sea. "That isna silly. No' at all." He kissed my head again. "Ye need no' have met her to ken that she was special. She's my heart, just you are, my Faith. Is, not was. Because it still is so, even though she's left this world."

I thought about that for a bit. "Are you still her heart, too?"

"Aye, I am. I ken it. I feel her love everywhere, every day."

I looked up into the sky, wondering: If I tried hard enough, could I feel it too?

He said, "It's harder now we're far away."

He took a big breath before he kept talking.

"Harder, because I miss being able to kiss her head, as I can yers, or hold her hand, as I do wi' you, or hear her laugh and her voice, like I can hear yers."

We're two ships that pass in the night.

"But dinna fash because it's harder. Because the love is still there. So it's alright." He touched my chin, and I stopped looking at the sky so I could look at Da's eyes instead. "D'ye...d'ye understand, mo chridhe?"

And we smile when we say it's alright.

I smiled, because I knew that Da liked when I smiled, and I knew he was sad. "Aye, Da. I understand."

"Good lass." He kissed my forehead.

We're still here, it's just that we're out of sight.

There was suddenly a big gust of wind, so big it made the dogs bark again. It made me gasp and shiver and hold on tight to Da's coat. He pressed my head into his chest, and I could hear his heart. There hadn't been any wind the whole time we'd been here, and even though it was cold, my heart felt warm.

"I feel her love everywhere, every day."

Another gust came and made my copper hair stick up and tickle Da's face.

Hello, Ma. I love you too.

Like those ships that pass in the night.

[faline-cat444]

Blindly hopping aboard

Time to see what this last book for the time being includes...

Episode 1

Starting with a flashback montage from birth onwards

Relative:I’m confused.We have Min-Gi Park next to Ryan Wayne.

Me:Akagi...

Relative:I’m confused...What’s a toque?

Me:A Canadian hat.(Also...Be careful not to mix it up with togue.)

Relative:Abandoing his best friend...

Relative:So he stayed home to put up with crap rather than go on the road...Why?

Relative:What’s he(Min-Gi) always pressing on?

Me:A stylophone.

Relative:People did on the trait...?People die on the train?!

Me:You saw two individuals die last book!

Episode 2

Relative:What’s with the uniform?Train updated over the years?

Me:This is technically before all that.

Powell Lake America Canada

Warm Iceberg Car apparently confirmed

Kez and gum flavors

Aliens were their default form,eh?

“Wormhole Judgement”

Onward to the Insect Western

Relative:I want One-One back and ditch the bell.I can even handle the cat,that bell is just too crazy.

Episode 3

So Kez can form hands with her sparkles...?

And the guns spray insecticide rather than shoot bullets.

Relative:There’s my kitty!

Relative:”She”?The bell is a girl?

“Pris’ner” rather than “Prisoner”

“Old West Bug Jail”

Was old skin the whole time

Caterpillar is the sheriff and the judge due to a cocoon and the “Morpho” name

Ryan tries the lawyer act despite the uniform being stuck on

“Foxy stunt double”

Relative:Really?Miss Kitty?!

The aliens and now the bugs are on the hunt

Episode 4

Starting this one in a giant drawer

Relative:And if you take off the hat you’d be Clearly?

One of those cow creamers

Butter

“American Recipes”

Relative:I thought they said there was no butter.

Relative:Why do we keep picking on Americans?

Relative:Can I get a post-war cookbook and make you some of those meals?

Me:No.

172

Back to 202

Pig Baby liked the brownies

Relative:There’s the door!...I’m not supposed to get too excited over that.

Episode 5

Baby shape toy

Relative:Is that a real chip?

Me:Yes,they have ketchup-flavored chips.

“Nerd Parties”

Astronaut Bouncer is a Simon Game?

Digging

Some sort of adhesive green slime was unearthed and crystalized

Realizing the portal system

Ryan said the line for me

194...202

Disguising and using the slime

Oh,Kez...

Glitching

Episode 6

A brief pause to get their gear

The astronauts who are alive and partying

Spiceman and Beehive

Relative:Why’s Ryan in his underwear?

Return of Green

The keys are back

Just like back then

Door with requirements

Min in the bathtub

The shirt

“Two Asian guys from BC”

Roadblock(?) is from Hey-Ho-Whoa?

127

Unlocked despite not truly being on stage

Episode 7

Is that a real song and singer?

“Worst Canadian”

Art museum commentary

Trying to jump into the paintings

Hand

Relative:Something’s getting him!

“Mama Kez”

Cat Painting

Eighteen years

More shadow hands

One of those pictures is Humpty Dumpty

A fox and rabbit version of American Gothic...

There’s a reference I want to make but nobody would understand it

Windchime was the door...Separated

Never seen a monster made of hands before I don’t think

Ryan reaches zero at a tough time...Then goes to 115 and loses the portal

Min realizes in the nick of time

Episode 8

A hard to explain situation

Had to look up and see sconces are apparently a type of light

Castle

Relative:That’s like me giving directions.

Difference in lifestyle and how it’s viewed

“Trust”

Here comes the tears and snot

Relative:PIGGY!Lard-Ass made it there?

Aliens are back in the lemur forms

Pig Baby confusing the meaning of a “butterfly”

So Pig Baby is now Pig Toddler

Shifted to Gorilla form which also kind of shows there is a difference between them and Tuba

Devolving the cow creamer

Relative:Really?!Shouldn’t she have just become a chunk of clay?

Relative:So where’s Morgan?

Relative:Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum?

Episode 9

Relative:Ninth is last episode?

Me:No,ten.

Relative:It was the picture of the guy in the castle and Morgan’s the castle.

Everyone who remains from the previous cars have started a campfire.

All the hat types

Learning the time difference

The signatures in the book

Car crash as the reason Jeremy became a passenger

Another glitch

Amelia has taken control

Episode 10

Still at the campfire

“Don’t be naked.”

Revealing the fact the exit showed up

The tune

Threw the keys away

105 and now zero for Min

Back to aliens and being a cow

Relative:Piggy’s destroying the castle.

So the bouncer’s name is Nigel

And Morpho wasn’t consumed

Relative:So they didn’t kill him...Maybe.

Two doors so they merged

Ryan wanted to ring Kez the whole time

Utica

Made a song themed after their adventure

Ending with them getting a fan

[wheredidyamileavemenow]

The Very Hungry Ryou

[jose92gt]

Yu-Gi-Oh Sevens capítulo 35

Título: ¡Sonido! Gohanio

Trama

Mientras Yuga no está, una máquina gigante con orugas se acerca a su Laboratorio de Carreteras. Quien la conduce es Zomyoji Caterpillar, el mecánico del Duelo de Caballería de Máquinas. ¡Club! Caterpillar usa sus técnicas de demolición para acercarse al laboratorio. Sin embargo, ¡sus atroces acciones no quedarán impunes! ¡Porque la hermosa chica con un fuerte sentido de la justicia, Kamijo Haruka

[adozentothedawn]

WIP Title Ask Game

I got tagged by @thegreatfoxking  this, thanks!^^ 

The rules: Send me a title (or more if you want) and I’ll tell you about it.^^ 

I have... so many.^^° Some of which I already talked about a while ago, but I’m always happy to do so again. Maybe I’ll actually get something done then.^^° Although! In my defense! I did actually finish one since I did this! xD

A Hero in the Wrong  Unearthed Bones (Pillars of Eternity)

A Very Good Farmer  (Pillars of Eternity)

Abandonment  (Pillars of Eternity)

Aloth  (Pillars of Eternity)

The Protection of Laughter  (Pillars of Eternity)

Vela's Adoption  (Pillars of Eternity)

To Be A God  (Pillars of Eternity)

Reperire Regem (Morning Glory, Chrysanthemum, Edelweiss)  (Pillars of Eternity)

Reperiendus Rex (Pillars of Eternity)

Forgetting Why It Mattered  (Pillars of Eternity)

The Adventures of Hildraed Dawnsbane (Interlude 2, Hildraed and Salty Bob) (Pillars of Eternity)

To be a God (Pillars of Eternity)

Wael’s Secrets (Pillars of Eternity)

Caed Nua Sanctuary (Pillars of Eternity)

Farmer Girl (Pillars of Eternity)

The Legend of Saint Emblyn (Pillars of Eternity)

Two Lost Lives Lived (Pillars of Eternity)

A Kiss on the Cheek (Pillars of Eternity)

The Wheel  (Pillars of Eternity) (IF)

Jeralt and Robin (Fire Emblem)

Little Kahlid (Fire Emblem Three Houses)

Marth the Shipper (Fire Emblem Awakening)

Robin's Pregnancy (Fire Emblem Awakening 

Loki's Funeral (Marvel)

Ace Loki (Marvel)

The Surprising Yellow Caterpillar (My Hero Academia)

France (Shakespear) (I had a terrible Tom Hiddleston phase and I am not ready to leave it behind yet xD)

Yu-Gi-Oh Warriors (Yugioh/Hyrule Warriors)

The Colours of Love (League of Legends)

Mold and Burn (Tyranny)

Diary of a Starfleet Cadet Sequel (Star Trek)

A Tempest Cleric of Lathander (Illusion) (DnD)

[dailyniallnews]

I Became A Journalist To Interview One Direction - Here's The Story Of When I Met Niall Horan

I didn’t become a journalist because I wanted to write or because I cared about breaking important stories. Or even because it looked exciting on TV. I became a journalist because my dream was to one day interview One Direction. Journalism, I hoped, was a fast track to doing just that.

So, despite the fact I no longer have their posters on my bedroom wall, and I can’t quite recite their birthdays by heart anymore, when I was asked if I wanted to do a sit-down interview with Niall Horan – just before the release of his comeback track Nice To Meet Ya - I typed ‘YES’ so hard I almost lost an acrylic.

A couple of weeks later my stomach is doing front flips while I’m waiting in a suite at London’s Soho Hotel with Niall’s publicist. Thankfully, Niall is running a few minutes behind, meaning I have time to go for my ninth emergency wee and check my false eyelashes are properly stuck on. I’m so busy nervously inspecting my nails that I don’t even realise when Niall saunters in, saying hello and asking how I am. He arrives with such little fanfare, that, for a moment, I thought it was his manager or another member of his entourage.

Niall looks happy and relaxed. He’s wearing an Eagles sweatshirt – his second album, he says, is ‘rockier’ – with jeans and beige Converse. It seems redundant to mention how good looking he is, considering he was in the most famous boyband of all time, but one thing that does surprise me is that we are roughly the same height. I tell him that unfortunately I was ‘one of those annoying fangirls’ – a knowing look flashes across on his face as he stirs his drink.

Niall was always known as ‘the blonde Irish one’ during his time in the band, but he’s since said goodbye to the peroxide. For the last four years, since the band went on ‘hiatus’ – or whatever they called it, to give teen girls nursing broken hearts a glimmer of hope – Niall has sported natural very dark, almost black, hair. ‘I think people still have that thing in their head where I'm the blonde,’ he says. He assures me he didn’t shed his boyband look post-One Direction deliberately - like a caterpillar going through metamorphosis or Miley Cyrus lopping off all her hair and twerking on Robin Thicke after Hannah Montana - rather, he couldn’t be arsed keeping up the hair maintenance. He is recognised a little less these days, and seems very comfortable with that. ‘I mean if we were back in the day and we were in this hotel,’ Niall says, gesturing to the window, ‘there would have been 5000 people.’ He adds matter-of-factly, ‘Now, there is probably no one out there for me.’It’s easy to forget just how young the boys were when they met on the X Factor, back when they were merely dollar signs in Simon Cowell’s eyes. All of them were teenagers; Niall was 16, and Louis Tomlinson, the oldest, was 19. They didn’t win the series, coming third after Matt Cardle and Rebecca Ferguson – but they went on to levels of fame that no other X Factor contestant has ever achieved. Obsession, love and hysteria from teenage girls was monetized, not just in the UK, but the world over. I should know, I was one of them, a girl happy to spend all of her pocket money on a signed Take Me Home CD.Even now, after years in the industry, Niall seems genuinely in awe of the fans. He is very careful to speak about them with utmost respect; he knows he owes their career to them, no matter how dedicated and fervent they can be. ‘You’ve got loads of artists everywhere that really want fan support, that's what you want,’ he says. ‘Young females are so powerful once they grasp onto something, they can make it as big or as small as they want.’He says, a few times, that he wished he could have walked down the street while he was at the height of their fame. (‘Last year I passed the Eiffel Tower for the first time, I've been driven past it a billion times in police escorts.’) But, instead of sounding resentful, he sounds accepting, kindly putting the constant barrage of attention down to the girls’ passion. He never speaks ill of his fans. He seems nervous about offending me, and the whole fanbase in general; it’s either incredibly calculated, or incredibly sweet. I can’t help thinking it’s the latter.Since leaving the band, Niall has played 81 shows as part of his Flicker World Tour. He loves touring, and gets on with his band well. I saw him in Brixton last year with one of my reluctant friends, who was too old to be swept up by 1D mania first time round, but, by the time Niall went into a storming cover of Bruce Springsteen’s Dancing In The Dark even she was won over.It’s no surprise that Niall is a pro at performing live – he’s been doing it for almost a decade. The first time I saw him in concert was one of the best days of my life. I got the tickets for Christmas. On the ferry from the Isle of Wight to Southampton, I thought I was going to be sick. Not because the weather was ferocious, but because I was so excited. I quickly regurgitate this story to Niall, telling him how I painted a banner for the show, leaving out the fact that I nearly fainted when Zayn pointed at it, and how consequently, I lost my voice for days. Not for the first time during the interview, I’m self-conscious that I’m rambling. ‘It was just after Christmas, if I'm not mistaken,’ he interjects, saving me. I laugh, relieved but also surprised that he remembers. ‘It was the first day back after the Christmas school holidays. We were all shitting it.’I’m struck by the fact that while I was screaming in the stands and he was on the stage, we were both just teenagers who’d spent the Christmas holidays with our family. He says that he recently went back to Bournemouth for a solo show, adding that he was shocked by how small the BIC was. Recently, Louis Tomlinson – who is also working on new music – did an interview with The Guardian, where he described how he and Niall cried before the group’s final show, the last night of their On The Road world tour in Sheffield.‘I actually I read the article you're talking about,’ he tells me. ‘We still had work after that show - but yeah, we were balling our eyes out right before we went near the stage. We were just like, this is the last time that we will get in a huddle and walk onto a stage for a long time together.’One of the main things I want to know, especially after hearing Liam Payne say there wasn’t much the boys had in common, is if the band have stayed in touch. I’m aware he’s probably been asked this in every interview ever – but at heart, I’m still a fangirl and I need to know.It sounds like he’s still closest to Louis. ‘I see Louis loads,’ he says. ‘I mean, I speak to him say once a week, maybe twice a week. I live around the corner from Harry [Styles]. I've seen him recently, we were at a gig together.’ And Liam? ‘The same.’He doesn’t – intentionally or otherwise – mention Zayn, who acrimoniously left the group in 2015.‘We will never not be close, to be honest,’ he adds. ‘Because I think everyone had this perception that when you break up it was because of a big fucking row or something. I’ve never seen a row in my life. We were on the road for six weeks at a time... I mean, we'd fight over who was using the hairdryer.’It feels impossible not to ask: does he feel envious of his friends back in Ireland with their normal teenage lives? ‘ One hundred per cent,’ he sighs. ‘All the time.’ And then he surprises me. ‘I would have loved to have gone to uni.’ What, I shriek, genuinely surprised that he would have switched being one of the world’s most famous young men for staying in a grotty uni halls, drinking VKs at Freshers week and living off pesto pasta. (He reassures me that One Direction still went on wild nights out, but that they just had to be cautious, roping off sections in clubs.)Turns out he’s not thought his alternate life through properly, but he says he might have done biology or geography. ‘I didn't know, like I was 16,’ he admits, sounding slightly overwhelmed again. ‘I filled out a form for a TV show. And then six months later, I was in one of the biggest bands in the world. It's just weird.’Under the watchful eye of thousands of fans, and the entire tabloid media, one of the other challenges the singer has had to deal with is keeping his private life private. (He was last linked to American actor and singer Hailee Steinfeld, but they split towards the end of last year.) ‘You have to have mad conversations, like if you were to meet someone for instance, you say, “You know, I like to keep things very private blah blah blah.” It’s a conversation that I have been having for nine or 10 years. And these are conversations that you have to have, because I just I want to keep things low-key.’I tell Niall I grew up with the band (I’m 21 and he’s 26) – each of their albums soundtracking a different part of my life. I ask if he feels like he’s grown up with fans, too. ‘I'm only five years older than you,’ he says, without patronising me. ‘So there's not that much of a difference really. I mean, everybody [has grown up], even in the way that they talk to you. We had to mature pretty quick for our age group - and now I get spoken to like I'm 26.'Eventually I realise that we’ve been chatting, uninterrupted, for ages. Most people at Niall’s level of fame offer you a scant few minutes to grab as many questions as you can, with a sense of distrust. Not here. The interview winds down to a natural close, and I ask if we can take a picture (once a Directioner, always a Directioner). ‘One thing I would have died to know when I was 14,’ I say, as I pose for the photo. ‘Would you have dated a fan?’This is it, the question that I spent most of 2012 wondering. The question I almost didn’t ask because I was _so_ nervous.Niall Horan looks at me, slightly bemused. ‘One hundred percent,’ he says. ‘I mean, there’s no reason why not. If someone comes up and screams in your face, then it's not the best start. If you can sit down and have a chat with somebody, then there's no reason why not.’It’s the exact answer I wanted, one that sounds like it came straight from the pages of Top of the Pops.‘Be nice,’ Niall half-jokes, as I switch the dictaphone on my phone off. I tell him he doesn’t need to worry about that. Nice To Meet Ya is out now.

[whatshouldwecallchronicillness]

Any advice for someone going through a low point medically? I'm used to be chronically ill as I've had a kidney condition since childhood and was in & out of the hospital a lot, always sick. But in recent years I've hit the biggest low. I have severe GI problems they can't diagnose, newly diagnosed with an endocrine condition and autoimmune disease, and urinary track problems are worse. Been seeing many doctors and on many medications that make me feel terrible. I'm having a hard time dealing.

I’m so sorry you are in a bad spell right now!  Being used to being sick doesn’t prevent us from feeling devastated by the bad times.  We live on a roller coaster and that’s really hard to manage!  I think being undiagnosed and/or recently diagnosed can come with additional hardships, so it’s no wonder things are sucky right now.  

So first thing, it’s ok to feel really bummed and to have pity parties.  You don’t want to stay at that party all the time, but it’s good to make an appearance once in a while.  I have music I listen too, my “crying wall,” and on occasion I’ve been known to draw morose pictures that embarrass the heck out of me when I find them later.  Have some morbid conversations or check out some dark comedy.  It’s ok to be bummed sometimes.  It’s ok to wallow.    

Since most of the time I don’t want to hang out at the pity party, I have lots of other things I do to help me feel better emotionally (regardless of whatever is going on with my health).  I think it’s time for a list:

-Can vs. Can’t control is my favorite flipping thing ever.  I’ve done it with my clients, I teach my friends and family about it, I constantly do it myself.  The idea is you think about the things stressing you out or making you sad or mad or whatever and then you sort them into things you can and can’t control.  The things you can’t control you find a way to cope with.  The things you can control get your full time, energy, and focus.  

-If there are aspects of your health that you can control, try to do things that contribute to better health.  (When you can.)  I feel accomplished when I call doctors offices back or take my meds or go on a walk.  

-I know that the bad times always pass.  There are things to look forward to even if I don’t really know what they are yet.  

-Try to make everything as fun as possible.  Sucky commute to the doctors?  Comedy podcast time!  Hate taking pills every morning?  Throw some gummy bears into your med stick.  You find exercise tedious and painful?  (Go easy, follow doctor’s recommendations, and) Read some fanfiction as you ride that stationary bike.  It’s like the boggart in Harry Potter - how can you make this sucky thing more enjoyable?  How can you laugh at it?  Do things that give you a sense of childlike delight.  Raise some caterpillars into butterflies, get a ring pop at the gas station register, text your friends ridiculous gifs with no context, go outside and enjoy that wave of cooler air that comes right before a storm hits.  Make fun where there’s not any.  Find tiny adventures everyday.  

-I’ve always been a fan of distraction and doing.  While certain areas of my life are a bit bleak, my interests and hobbies are very well developed.  I have a whole range of enjoyable things in my “toolbox” that I can do at various levels of functioning.  I try to create instead of consume and I try to feel productive somehow, but if all I can do is play tower defense games on my ipad for four hours straight, then that’s ok too.  

-The only other thing I can think of is to get dressed everyday.  Or at least change into your day pajamas.  (If you can manage it, of course.)  I don’t always adhere to this, but I feel SO much better when I get dressed.  That multiplies when I do things like style my hair and do my makeup.  When the quarantine hit and my healthy friends asked me how to cope, the first thing I told them was to get dressed even if you don’t leave the house.  I dunno, it just helps.