#cas could like it too!

[babygirlwolverine]

cas had texted and said he’d be back at the bunker that night, and dean had stayed up until almost 3am waiting for the angel. when cas hadn’t walked through the bunker door, dean had to drag himself to bed before he passed out on the war table.

he didn’t sleep for long though, waking up just after 6am to check his phone. no messages from cas. was it too soon to start worrying?

making his way to the kitchen for a very strong cup of black coffee, dean shuffled past the bag in hallway while he rubbed blearily at his eyes. it took several long seconds before dean realized he’d almost tripped over cas’ overnight bag and he quickly backtracked and made a beeline for cas’ room.

the room was empty, no sign of cas’ current trenchcoat or of the angel anywhere.

frowning, dean wandered the hallways, searching for any signs of cas. but there was nothing. the bunker was quiet. empty. not even sam was awake yet.

convincing himself that the overnight bag had always been there and he’d just forgotten because he was tired, dean trudged back towards the kitchen by cutting through the library.

and he froze, mid-step.

slumped, lying curled up between two of the chairs at the table, was a sleeping angel using his trenchcoat as a pillow against the hard wooden seats.

a sleeping angel who was bundled up under dean’s old hoodie; the clothing item which usually held a permanent place in the backseat of the impala. the same hoodie that had gone missing a week ago.

dean’s heart stuttered in his chest.

his feet carried him gently across the library and he found himself reaching out and brushing a lock of hair off of cas’ forehead. the hood of the jacket was tucked up under cas’ chin, almost as if the angel had been burying his face in the cotton material, but the rest of it was slipping off and threatening to fall onto the floor.

breath catching in his throat, dean softly readjusted the hoodie and wrapped it around cas’ shoulders. cas let out a content sigh in his sleep, and dean suddenly felt weak in the knees.

cas had taken dean’s jacket with him when he’d left the bunker last week. and now, cas was using his hoodie as a blanket. a concept that years ago dean would’ve sworn up and down that cas would never understand because angels didn’t have feelings. yet, here cas was, carrying around dean’s old clothes, wearing his heart on dean’s worn sleeves.

smiling to himself, dean quietly made his way back to the kitchen to make honey tea for cas and a pot of coffee. he was going to need the caffeine courage to show cas that this was mutual.

as the coffee brewed and the tea steeped, dean snuck back into cas’ room and collected the one thing he was missing. wrapping one of cas’ old trenchcoats around his shoulders, dean was finally ready to put his own heart onto cas’ sleeve.

[kens-ramblings]

so ik i’ve seen a lot of hcs for what the batfam would listen to in the bat mobile and for tim a lot of people say that he listens to podcasts. which like yes i can see that but i also think if he is like podcasted out(bc i get that way so i think he does too) he listens to like cunty, trashy music in it. like they are on their way to a drug bust and tim is on aux and all the sudden you hear like ayesha erotica playing. and the goons are like “oh shit it’s spoiler!!! ,,,,, is that red robin????” so here is a list of artists/songs i think tim fucks w/ hard core when he is on patrol.(to preface he avoids pop-punk on patrol if he knows people will hear his music bc tim drake-wayne is known for enjoying it in my head so red robin is when he lets out the more suprising side of his music taste)

ayesha erotica(as stated)

kesha

mindless self indulgence

6arelyhuman

ppcocaine

slayyyter

conceited by flo milli

tia tamara by doja cat

lady gaga

kim petras

it girl- sped up ver by aliyah’s interlude

charlie xcx

[deangril]

Hello, Dean

[purgaytorysupremacy]

oh nuts. a life experience has given me a new layer of perspective on Cas's homosexual declaration of love to Dean.

recently I had occasion to tell a person I had feelings for them knowing full well they didn't feel even a twinge of the same thing for me. while the whole thing was a decidedly unpleasant experience, I kept laughing at myself internally bc I didn't want to say "the happiness is just in saying it" like fucking Castiel over here. (we don't need to talk about it, it's fine.) (I am happier having said it and it's kind of bullshit, but I digress.)

because the thing is, the happiness isn't in just saying it, right? the happiness is in the having. I made a whole TikTok "proving" that the Empty didn't come for Cas when he confessed his love, but rather when he realized Dean loved him back. even for Cas, the happiness was in the having, not in the saying, however brief it was.

and I've always been one of those people who rolled their eyes at the whole concept. why would the happiness be in just being, in just saying it, if it's right there in front of you to have. and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks (as I was washing my kitchen counters).

Cas really didn't think he could have Dean.

at all. in any capacity. he really, truly, and honestly felt to the depths of himself that Dean did not have any twinge of similar feelings, that this really was a Hail Mary shot-in-the-dark. and I think me, personally, really didn't understand that about Cas. that his belief in his love being unrequited was that unshakable.

something else I've been pondering is how audiences have so much more empathy for fictional characters who share traits that IRL they find objectionable and unappealing. but the thing is about fictional characters is that we follow them around in their most private, vulnerable moments. we see Dean mourning Cas when he dies, literally killing himself because he can't live without him, but it's so easy to forget that we're the omniscient ones here.

Cas never knew.

Dean's whole thing was pushing him away, keeping him at arm's length, making it seem like whatever heroic thing he does for Cas he'd do for anyone. he downplays how important it is for Dean to share the Deancave with him, to show him his favourite movies, share his favourite songs. he acts like the things Cas does for him don't mean that much to hide how much they do mean. he uses "we" whenever he even gets in the vicinity of expressing a feeling. "We were worried." "We're glad you're back." "We needed a win." "You're our brother." The audience knew the difference. We saw how he'd clench his jaw or swallow hard or make a face that said "God, I'm being such an idiot". Because we saw him in those little moments. We got to see the cracks in the mask.

but Cas never knew.

the self-hating angel of Thursday was never going to think it was all a way for Dean to protect himself. obviously, that's the delicious tragedy of it all, but what I think I realized at the end of all that is Cas confessing his love to a Dean who didn't love him back wouldn't have worked. Because the happiness really is in the having. If happiness was just in saying it, then The Empty would have come before Cas even finished getting the words out of his mouth.

so Cas's plan wouldn't have worked if Dean didn't love him back.

this is just me yapping on about my own nonsense, but I do think it's really interesting. there's contentment in "just saying it". there's freedom and relief and an unburdening. I think one can argue that it makes being happy in the being easier. there is certainly some joy in telling a person you think that highly of them. but true happiness?

nah.

true happiness is always going to only be in the having. Cas didn't understand the difference until he experienced it, and by then, it was too late.

[tricoufamily]

he's too hot to be called greg. you gotta call him gregory

[lovealwayssay]

My brain has completely forgotten almost everything about Supernatural seasons 9 and 12-15. I remember bits and pieces, but I cannot for the life of me tell you what the overarching plot was for any of those seasons. Here’s what I know about each of those seasons:

9. Sam is possessed by an angel? Dean dies in the end and becomes a demon idk

12. Peak Destiel vibes, Mary’s back, Cas is killed?

13. Widower arc, Jack is there

14. Jack kills Mary at some point idk

15. Lets kill God, divorce arc, “You changed me, Dean”, worst finale ever

[michaelsworddean]

i am once again thinking about the time cas wanted to smite dean

[shallowseeker]

"I'm working on a Ph.D," Sam says.

Sam's lie about himself was so interesting in terms of how he sees himself. (I wish it had made it into the episode.)

Instead of defaulting to, "I'm working on a personal research project," or "I'm taking some classes at a local community," Sam says, PHD!

(And I get it. At my age, I wanna say that I'm working on a Masters' or a Ph.D, too. Not that I, "never made it," even though I was, "considered so low-budget genius and backwoods bright.")

From the 14x13 script Dean draws back-- huh? He and Sam swap a confused glance. SAM: What-- who do you think we are? ELIOT: I-- survivalist bigfoot hitmen? Sam and Dean trade a look. SAM: No-- we're-- my brother is a mechanic and I-- I'm working on a PHD-- (exasperated) Just tell us what you saw.

///

I recall, very fondly, this scene with Rowena in 12x02 Mamma Mia:

INTERIOR: INSIDE A RESTAURANT. ROWENA IS SITTING AT A TABLE WITH A MAN. ROWENA: Sent me to the grandest boarding schools, but I was a wee imp and ran away for a life in the arts. Mother didn't speak to me until I became a star. BEN: A star? Of? ROWENA: Uh, do you follow the Royal Ballet? BEN SHAKES HIS HEAD. BEN: Not a bit. ROWENA: The Royal Ballet. BEN: You know, it reminds me a lot of my story. I left school to work in a steel mill. I rose up through the ranks, and now I own half a dozen. ROWENA: You're not serious? FOOTSTEP’S APPROACH AND A WAITER COMES UP WITH A BOTTLE OF WINE.

NOTE: Ben turns out to be a cad and a fraud, but there's something so interesting about how Rowena wants to portray her class background. We know from 11x10 that Rowena, "was (before magic) nothing but Rowena, the tanner's daughter... a pale, scared little girl, who smelled of filth and death."

It's a brilliant thing about Samwena. They get each other, at least as far as this is concerned.

From 15x06 Golden Time:

SAM: Rowena got it. I mean, she didn't know all the details, but she knew the game was rigged. So this... Magic. This is how she kept control.

[thevoidcircus]

If you're not nice to Nyon Specter, we can't be friends, I'm sorry.

[simstoyourdismay]

i’ve been ogling this man in cas for the past half hour

[lightningzbolt]

Awsten Knight Hair (Two different files)

I started with showing Red & Black first as it's the latest but I made 17 swatches. I think I covered every significant color, skipping most Greatest Hits hairs as those are a pain okay, I am but a single person with GIMP. I did do the scene hair but I would like to some day do it on another mesh. I sorted and organized all my pictures of Awsten, over 400 btw, by hair color, to help me figure out the best examples of each, and to figure out which ones were just faded versions of the others, a few swatches are 'faded' colors, and which looked distinct enough to make swatches for. Green seems most consistent, I have the most pics of blue. Greatest Hits tricolor and red & black are my favorites. The blue is the first color that shows up on the swatches so the thumbnail shows blue hair to make finding it easy. I tried to mimic that the two distinct reds were not exactly the same. I've gotten way too fucking good at telling when a picture came from even if the color is gone from it. None of these are what hair my Awsten Sim normally has tho.

This is. I made this a couple years ago and never changed it from most outfits as it just makes him stand out and it took hours to make, I wanted to get the most out of it. Just one swatch here. Both of these are base game mesh recolors, so nothing else is needed. Standalone files. Also I went out of my way to grab werewolfy poses and emotions because I think it's adorable, okay. He's the least intimidating werewolf, but still my favorite. Forgive Jack's face and body and everything being in frame a lot I am playing as him.

Hair 1

Hair 2

[aturnoftheearth]

fucked in the head in a way that if cas could kiss another man i’d be cheering and clapping but if dean got to i’d buy thousands of harvester ants and set them free in the writers room

[rocker-socks]

not to be insane but Stephanie Brown is so underrated and i really do hate to say its misogyny but. well. It is.

[hsslilly-blog]

heh.. i guess you could say im a GAMER

[puppy-the-mask]

I just think he's neat :3 blank version included so you can draw yourself with him too if you want ^w^! I recently thought that if i were an animal i'd be a deer, and then it kind of spiraled and the thought of wolfman alan actually got me to draw. This was my first time fully drawing him!

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

Random Togami Headcanon 13

TL;DR - Byakuya's bettered himself but he still has a long road of healing. Also, heads up. This one's not happy like most of the others. Gets a bit hopeful at the end but there's still a lot of sad topics here. Viewer discretion is advised. Now that he feels more empathy for others and possesses some capability for putting himself in another's shoes, thoughts he used to have about the lower class make him feel... off. Perhaps guilt or discomfort with himself. It doesn't help though looking at his classmates every school day and being reminded of the mindset he was raised with. It especially doesn't help when he looks at Makoto who helped him. Makoto being the commoner of all commoner's also hurts. He appreciates what Makoto's done to help him but it unintentionally stabs him hard within his chest that he needed someone's help to get to this point and the someone being a commoner he once wrote off. Next, with this empathy, the heir feels better with his life and happiness but fundamentally worse. It's as if he deteriorated though, logically, he knows it's not the case. He knows that the illogical side of his brain covers itself in the hides of reason and rationale. Essentially, Byakuya ends up having a grueling struggle with dealing with these emotions that, for the majority of his life, he buried and repressed. Emotions that both make him feel more fulfilled in life but that tear him apart inside. Bouts where he feels either extremely content with how he's turned out or that dread and despair that he's slipping back into his old ways. In fact, at times, it becomes overwhelming for him to handle which he especially hates. Being overwhelmed is yet another thing he once viewed as a weakness and, to some extent, he still does. Sometimes, to cope, jokes to himself on whether existing itself is something he feels is a weakness. However, though he has a lot of emotions and thoughts that upset him now as a bettered person, one big thing that pains him is that he has the capability and the intelligence to notice all of this. It's the acknowledgment that stings. The heir notices that he has a problem, that he probably needs help, maybe even therapy, but then he spirals more because of that realization. Why should HE need HELP for these problems of his?! He's an independent person! He should logically be able to handle this himself. He's always handled his problems on his own! Why should he now need someone or just a support system of people to aid in his path of healing? He feels gross for that support system being the classmates who he once adamantly despised with such vitriol. With the added empathy, he also feels shame as he doesn't want to hurt any more people in his life now. He has the hindsight to know this now. He questions himself. Is the situation he's in even that big of a deal and should he keep searching for answers on the "why" and "how"? Is it worth it? Comparisons to the peasants he used to once adamantly demonize also do not escape him. He feels worse because, while he's breaking at the seams, countless of other commoners have similar thoughts too. He's not unique and a bit of that stings his lingering superiority. Then, there is the fact that Byakuya feels even worse about this BECAUSE commoners can handle stuff like this and yet, he keeps saying that he can't due to his mental spirals. Either that or the older thoughts of hating commoners bites back by making him feel like he's "acting like one". He knows by this point that he's actively tearing himself down and that he needs to escape this cycle of mental abuse. He feels shame in himself though. He feels humiliated. Pathetic. Overly emotional in ways he's never felt before. He still has that hope though. The hope that he can get through his. The heir's already delt with so much whether canon, non-despair, or an au of some kind. He's continued on despite it all. And, though long ago, he would have pushed some of this hope off for it being too optimistic, he's grown to care less about that sort of thought anymore. Byakuya can do this.