#carrying the banner more like carrying the alex
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regina-cordium ¡ 1 year ago
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i’m so tired but i do not want to put the energy into going to bed but i also want to be In Bed
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therealslimshakespeare ¡ 10 months ago
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Alright, allow me a word or two on this whole HARRY CROSBY weekend in Oxford situation. This is probably redundant in this wonderful fandom but I think many of us were bracing a little during it and I have thoughts….
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1. Harry Crosby had a delightful way in his book of mentioning in the most admiring terms the different women he encountered while posted overseas, among them Subaltern Wingate. This ought to be less of an anomaly in the world than it is but yet, it’s remarkable all the same. Particularly during such a time period and it ought to be taken in the tone in which it seems to have been relayed. Now, that can be hard to transfer to the screen as audiences are often wired to see man+woman=sexual tension of any sort, that’s unfortunate but there it is. Add producer and the writer’s interpretation of it as well and you’ve got something even more skewed. And then, well, it’s wartime, it’s grief, it’s roommates, understanding and isolation from loved ones -and Anthony Boyle’s perpetual bedroom eyes as well -so it had me on edge at times about where the tone was gonna go. Altogether i am not mad or faulting anyone, I liked that nothing was suggested, what happened is what we saw. And I liked what we saw. You can read endless accounts of how wartime can feel a bit surreal sometimes and you’re given these pockets of moments with strangers that are sometimes more impactful than a lifetime with familiars -and I honestly think they caught that vibe well.
2. Now I’m getting analytical and probably making excuses for my fail of a kicked puppy husband who loves his wife but, hear me out:
:Croz’s time in Oxford starts with him delightedly reading the newest letter from his wife. that emotion remains until he reaches the end of the letter and her usual sign off, “say hi to Bubbles for me” -we see he’s promptly shattered and the letter is discarded. As is Jean and thoughts of her for the rest of the weekend. Writing back his beloved wife will require telling her of Payne’s death and in his recounting of stories to Alex. Westgate, there’s a very present tense to his reminiscence of Bubbles, which suggests that he has not fully processed it himself. Writing Jean back would be the finality he doesn’t want to except. So instead he has a new friend who gives him a reprieve, someone he can tell stories to without the shared history and grief that Jean will carry alongside him. Their histories are all too tangled. I see it as a sort of escaping mechanism, perhaps you could stretch it all the way into emotional infidelity as far as the show goes, but I think it’s less of indifference towards his wife and rather trying to put off the inevitable of hurting her and himself by writing that news. By the end of the episode he’s come back to earth, into reality, with a cold hard thump, having to get on with things. Legit telling jokes about death.
I think it’s interesting how they framed the episode in that way, and it’s perhaps an insight into what he psychologically was going through. anyway, I won’t be hanging out the “welcome home cheater” banner. 😭😆
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queenpiranhadon ¡ 1 year ago
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A/N:Yayyy first time writing Stardew fics AND an x reader, so this should be interesting lmao. If you liked this lemme know so I can do more like this in the future! This one was written a long time ago ngl, found this in the plethora of my notes app 0-0 banner art isn't mine!! The one on the left belongs to the amazing @cat-terpillar Here's my masterlist!
Warning(s): A little angst I guess, it has a fluffy ending, one sided love (for now), reader and Robin are besties lmao, strangers(?) to sorta friends, Sebastian’s kinda mean, Reader is a s i m p, reader is referred to with feminine attributes.
Pairing(s): Sebastian x F!Reader
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•────•°•❀•°•──── ᴘᴜᴍᴘᴋɪɴ ꜱᴏᴜᴘ ────•°•☁︎•°•───•
You were finally moving to Stardew Valley! Your late grandpa had given his farm to you, in hopes you’d carry on the legacy. He knew you were always fascinated by the farm life. But there was something that intrigued you more than that. After settling in, you decided to walk around the town and introduce yourself to the villagers. There were daffodils growing around your farm, and you prepared them, a gift for your new community members. There were many of them, and they all seemed to love you. There was Pierre, and Emily, and Alex, and so many others. But one caught your attention the most. Robin’s son, Sebastian. He was around your age, but unlike the other villagers, he rejected every single gift you gave him. Daffodils, summer spangles, fairy roses, everything. He just gave you that same bone chilling look of distaste and annoyance. And it made your heart feel heavy. You didn’t know why you were trying so hard to win his affection. He was just another villager. Right? But there was something in his raven hair, and glittering eyes that drew you to him. You chided yourself constantly, knowing it was just a small crush, and that it would go away. At least, that’s what you told yourself. Deep down, you knew you loved him, and that you wanted to give him the world, even though he didn’t feel like he deserved it. But it was hopeless. He hated you, and thought you were a nuisance. But your heart still yearned and fantasized about the gloomy boy reciprocating your love. 
It was pointless. His beautiful dark eyes always glinted with annoyance whenever you approached him and eventually you resigned to your farm work, and tried to focus on your crops and livestock. But Sebastian was always on your mind. 
One day, when you had gathered enough gold and acquired enough supplies, you went to the mountains, to purchase a house upgrade. You were anxious, half hoping to run into Sebastian, and half not. The boy in question also wanted to see you. No matter how much you annoyed him, your abrupt disappearance left him disgruntled and confused. He felt… empty without your constant nagging. It was strange and the feeling was foreign to him. But he brushed it off, and trudged upstairs to grab a slice of pizza from the fridge. But he froze when he saw you, at his mom’s desk, where she offered upgrades and additions to houses or farm buildings. Startled, he wondered if some supernatural being was reading his thoughts, considering you were previously on his mind.
“Wha-what are you doing here?” He spluttered, embarrassed and a bit angry, due to your withdrawal.
You stand there, speechless, not only because he actually initiated conversation with you for once, but because he seemed hurt. His beautiful eyes spoke volumes. Did he… miss you? No, of course not.
“I was uh…” You didn’t know what to say.
Robin cut in. “She’s just buying a house upgrade, leave her alone Sebby.” She rolls her eyes.
Sebastian scoffs, and grabs his pizza slice, disappearing into the basement where he practically hibernated.
Turning back to Robin, you flush, noticing the smirk on her face.
“You want to impress Sebastian? Here. It’s a recipe for Pumpkin Soup.” She takes out a scrap piece of paper, writing a neat and detailed recipe for you. “He loves this stuff. I can tell you’ve taken a liking to him. And thank Yoba you do. That boy needs to get a girlfriend. Sitting around in the basement all day…” sighing, Robin hands the paper to you. 
Your eyes widen, in shock. “How did you- I can’t-“ 
Robin chuckles. “Just say thank you. Fall’s around the corner. Grow some pumpkins in time for his birthday.” her sly grin fades into a wistful smile. “Sebby‘s been taking my marriage with Demetrius harshly… he’s a good kid, I just wish he’d explore the world a little more. After he lost his father… he just wasn’t the same.”
You stand there, your heart heavy. You never knew he had suffered this much… It made you feel even worse.
“I-I’m so sorry…” you murmur.
Robin rubs the back of her neck sheepishly. “Sorry to ruin the mood… I’m just saying, you’re an amazing girl. And I just want the best for my son.” She smiles and takes your hands. “Now go get your man!”
Your grin matches hers and you dash out of the Carpenter’s shop and down into town square. Luckily, it was early enough that Pierre’s hadn’t closed, and you purchased a batch of pumpkin seeds. Rushing home, you till the soil around your home and tenderly plant your seeds, watering the soon to be pumpkins, and ensuring your scarecrow would guard them with its life. 
You were determined to give Sebastian everything he wanted and more. You wanted to give him the world. It broke your heart that he suffered so much, and you hated the fact that he was still suffering to this day, his dysfunctional family a reminder of what he had lost.
But you had to start slow. And this pumpkin soup was the answer. With Robin’s words giving you a boost, you powered through the painstakingly slow growth of your crops, trying to keep your impatience at bay. And finally, after days and days of waiting, watering, and teasing from Robin, a healthy patch of pumpkins was grown in front of your eyes. 
Your heart swelled with pride, as you ran your fingertips over the smooth and bumpy surface of the bright orange pumpkin you brought inside. It was perfect, the shape, the size. Fall was almost over, winter only a week away. You updated Robin that day, dropping off a package of goat cheese for her birthday. You both had grown close as well, as she had always looked out for you, ever since day one.
That night, you heated up your stovetop, your pan bubbling with water. You cut up your fresh pumpkin, the scent of spices and the feeling of home wafted through the air. 
It made you miss you family, and the fun you’d have in the kitchen with them. When was the last time you cooked, two years ago? Packing the soup in an insulated container, you kept it in your fridge, and awaited the day you’d finally give it to the boy that stole your heart.
Winter rolled around, your farm barren with no crops to grow and all your livestock contained in their homes. Munching on a crystal fruit you foraged, you sat on the couch, watching re-runs of the Queen of Sauce. After making pumpkin soup for the first time, the world of cuisine seemed much more interesting to you.
You really had nothing to do, with no crops to grow, no livestock to feed because of the new auto-feeder Robin installed, and no fruits to forage because you already has chests full of them. Clint had your pickaxe for an upgrade, so no mining either. Leaving you with one last option. 
You trudged outside, feeling the crunch of snow under your boots and reach at clumps of trees that infested your farm. Sure, having a large supply of trees was good, but you hadn’t tended to it for a while, so it spread to every corner of your farm. You hefted your axe and sighed. Better to keep yourself busy than let your mind fantasize more than you already had. 
You really were obsessed, huh?
Your heart was giddy with excitement, thumping precariously as you went to bed that night. Soon, the boy you loved might actually not hate you after all. Still, it hurt that you had to try so hard. You made it your mission to get him to at least befriend you, but the fact that you dedicated an entire season to make a simple pumpkin soup to make him warm up to you seemed pathetic. But Robin wanted to best for him and frankly, so did you. So you were going to befriend him, and make sure he would never be sad again. Or you’d try, at least.
You woke up that morning, your mind hazy but still as excited as ever. It was 6:30, way too early to visit Sebastian, so you ambled around the farm, checking on your animals and collecting their products, and visiting the little cave where Demetrius had set up a mini farm to occasionally get some products as well. 
You walk back home, and open your fridge, careful to go as slow as possible to the best of your ability to avoid awkward waiting. Grabbing the pumpkin soup, you place it carefully in your backpack. It was 8:10. You made your way through the back woods, where a path to the Carpenter’s Shop was, and you entered the home. Sebastian was in his room, and you decided to wait outside, knowing that you were overstepping your boundaries enough.
You made some light conversation with Robin who was tending to the shop that day, and eventually Sebastian exited his room, extremely surprised to see you standing there, your face beet red. He seemed equally embarrassed, and Robin shooed you both outside, sending a wink your way.
Sitting on the porch, you look at him, drinking in his features when you notice he was already doing the same.
You clear your throat. “I uh… here.” 
Sliding the soup you worked on for so long, over to him, you felt your heart flutter as his pale hands brush yours to take the dish.
“Is this… pumpkin soup?” Sebastian asks in disbelief. “I-I really love this. How did you know?”
You chuckle sheepishly, not wanting to admit all the digging you had to do. 
“I figured I should try something new haha…” You chuckle awkwardly. “I…” your sentence trailing off, your voice caught in your throat.
“Hm?” Sebastian looks over, perplexed. He was opening the container to sniff the smell of pumpkin and spices waft through the chilly winter air. Snowflakes coated his eyelashes and his hair, making him seem even more beautiful, if that was even possible.
“I-I’m sorry… for annoying you so much.” You murmur, a weight of worry, heartsickness, and guilt finally being lifted off your chest.
Sebastian stares at you for a minute, taken aback by your confession.
“I'm sorry too.” His deep voice fills the awkward silence.
“What…?” You whisper, shocked. Why was he apologizing?
“I'm sorry for making you think I hated you." He restates, his voice louder but still embarrassed. "I just...don't do well with new people. I'm sorry, I know you were just trying to be nice."
You stare at your hands, soaking up his words. Sebastian…didn’t hate you?
Silence fills the snowy front yard and you both sit there, with no tension or boundaries between you two. Maybe not friends, not yet. But you weren’t enemies either. Just…acquaintances. 
Sebastian gingerly reaches over to squeeze your hand, and you reciprocate, your heart involuntarily thumping against your ribcage. 
The gesture itself wasn’t intimate, or romantic. It was just a small reassurance to show that he was there. 
And you were fine with that.
In fact, you couldn’t be happier.
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whoops-im-obsessed ¡ 2 years ago
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(More) Things I Noticed in UKsies: Fansie Night Edition! (Act 1)
I was lucky enough to see newsies again at the fansie night last night and it was incredible!! Here are more little moments that I loved :) This is gonna be long.
The absolute roar from the audience as soon as the lights went down to start the show, fansies are something else, man, this audience was on fire
At the very beginning Race looks so happy reading the paper I can't his smile was so big - Josh Barnett has said that this is his favourite part of the show and it shows!!
Lady behind me tried to buy a paper from one of the newsies but he wouldn't give it to her because she didn't have cents
Matthew Duckett (Crutchie) can do the fingers-in-the-mouth loud whistle thing and uses it a lot during the show, first to call the newsies to work
Not me wondering the entire time how Race's cigar and Morris' cigarette work only to be reminded that e-cigarettes exist
My mum's face after Splasher did a backflip whilst skipping - Ross Dorrington, my God
'Hey! Hey! *spin* Get ya papes!'
The way the newsies just slide around the stage and careen off of it, its an accident waiting to happen but it looks so fun
Santa Fe Prologue, Jack yanks Crutchie away from that railing so fast poor guy he just wants to go down
Crutchie flinches away from Jack and laughs when he suddenly leaps towards him at 'close your eyes'
For like half of carrying the banner these boys are just half naked, you can see their mic packs running up their backs
Crutchie pickpockets Darcy
At some point Crutchie does something to offend Finch and gets whacked with his slingshot
Guy in front of woodside looks so sad the whole of the 'curdled coffee' bit and is contemplating life only to stand up and sing 'all I can catch is fleas'
He then proceeds to flick said fleas at another newsie who runs away and calls him disgusting
Wiesel descends from the ceiling
Alex James Hatton Davey!!
Alex's Davey is more mature than Ryan's, he seems more sure that he's here to do a job and isn't confused or intimidated by the newsies, he genuinely seems like an outsider who isn't in on the joke and is not impressed by their antics
'that's disgusting'
Henry gets on his knees and pretends to be a child in the line to get papes and keeps going 'I'm new too'
Right behind them a distraught Mike carries a limp Jojo who opens his eyes and says 'I'm dead' to Wiesel
Hannah and Bunsen squabble over a notebook in Bottom Line and Nunsio looks ready to commit
(Lindsay Atherton Hannah is amazing she is hilarious)
Alex Davey is very unsure selling papers to the audience he just kinda mumbles and seems a bit hopeless at it while Les just swindles everyone
The relationship between Alex!Davey and Les is very different to Ryan!Davey, Ryan is all over Les and is very affectionate whereas Alex seems to show the other half of large age gap sibling relationships, meaning he clearly cares about Les but also occasionally looks at him like he is the bane of his existence. Relatable.
Spot's actress is also a bowery beauty it's amazing, the bowery beauties also dance behind Medda during her performance and wink at the audience.
Newsie controlling the light for Medda's performance is concentrating Very Hard
Bobbie Chambers Katherine!!!
Bobbie!Katherine is very sarcastic and very uninterested in Jack but when he gives her the drawing makes a 'huh thats pretty good' face
The newsies watching Medda's show pick up the lights at the end of Don't Come A-Knocking and dance in a circle around them, mirroring their dance moves
Josh Denyer (Mush) has his moment to shine in the bit just after don't come a knocking and has a little solo which was heavily applauded, rightly so
When Race 'tells Wiesel (him)self' he literally goes up, closes the money box and just says 'no'
Katherine watches World Will Know from above the Bronx
When Jack writes on the chalk board he shoves Oscar out of the way very harshly several times and he ends up sprawled over some stairs unable to get up
There's a slide
Crutchie joins in with some of the dancing but his face screams 'help me idk how to do this' I love Matthew Duckett
Jack, Les, Davey and Crutchie confer before marching up through a corridor of newsies to the doors of the World. Crutchie stands facing away from the doors when they go in like he's standing guard, when they get thrown out, he falls to the side directly into the arms of another newsie trust fall style.
Despite already being given a borough to go to, Tommy Boy dives face-down under a table to avoid going to Brooklyn, Mush and another newsie (didn't see who 😅) put their bags on their heads
Bobbie!Katherine is a lot more sure of her self which makes it more meaningful when she shows the vulnerability of 'I'm just busting out of the social pages'
Les follows Crutchie at the end of the World Will Know mini-reprise and Crutchie looks sad when Davey calls him to go home, he then calls to Jack who is staying behind to talk to Katherine and says 'for fuck's sake' when he doesn't follow. This was confirmed by the girls in front row Brooklyn who he said it to because they couldn't stop giggling
Crutchie breaks the forth wall a lot
Katherine's hesitation on giving her last name is more played as she doesn't expect to have to provide one
Katherine physically puts distance between herself and Jack when he starts flirting
Watch What Happens is amazing!! Bobbie puts more frustration into it and speaks a lot of the lines, often punctuated by 'ugh'. Fun fact: Watch What Happens was Bobbie's drama school audition song and she has been working on it for actual years, it definitely shows, it was a brilliant delivery.
Davey really shows hesitation before Seize the Day and his voice goes wobbly in all the right places when he calls for Jack to help him out
'Maybe Pulitzer will see it out of his window and feel sorry for us' 'Heh?? *offended Crutchie noises*'
Crutchie is physically restrained from beating up on the scabbers
One of the scabbers is slipped extra money by Wiesel
Seize the Day was incredible as always, all other productions pale in comparison it is seriously next level, mid-song applause and a standing ovation afterwards (which really, really doesn't happen mid-show on the west end)
Splasher's box jumps!! I counted twelve last night. TWELVE.
Military snare in 'behold the brave battalion'
Crutchie stands offstage with Les to watch the Seize the Day dance break and whistles So Loud to cheer them on
And Mush's pirouettes!!!
Crutchie's agonised coughs when he's being arrested jfc Matt is good at that
The fight call for this show is insane, there is so much going on and its all so expertly done, something went a little wrong and Les' rope ascension didn't happen but so much goes on it wasn't missed
Crutchie whistles to signal the arrival of the police
Newspapers fall from the ceiling at the beginning of Santa Fe
Santa Fe was so good, Michael has such a pretty voice even while literally crying and he uses his little postcard a lot throughout, physically leaning over the railing of the tower like he's reaching for the idea of Santa Fe.
Aaaand end of act 1! This is so long so I'll do a part 2 🤣
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aceofspades-sml ¡ 1 year ago
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Newsies 30/07 matinee - closing matinee
So yes the show closed almost a month ago but I just found this in my drafts and realized I never actually published my notes from this show so... Here you go ! (Also let me know if you want my actual notes from closing night because I just kept ranting about random moments but can totally do an organized post if required)
Cast : all the main actors were on, Les was played by Harry and Bobbie did Hannah but not Splint since she was still sick
Josh's presence on stage at the beggining is so good- like man just owns the stage for the first 30 seconds and oh boy does he enjoy it. Race of all times.
After Buttons steals apples at the beginning he gives one to Ike and then they both spot Tommy boy kind of sulking in a corner and Ike throws him an apple while they both look at him like "take care, kid"
When Tommy boy comes back on for Carrying the banner the apple is still in his hand and I think it's adorable
Matthew was definitely already losing it in the Prologue and like. Mood. I kid you not he was crying for the whole show
Carrying the banner being the mess it usually is
Jacob Albert was back and ready to throw hands with anyone coming close to him. Especially if that person happened to be Oscar Delancey.
"Whatever happened to rOmAnCe"
Henry getting on his knees and crawling toward Wiesel with a pout and Wiesel just sighing and giving him the papes
Harry was such a cute Les oh my god. Actually everytime he was onstage I just kept turning toward my friend mouthing "he is adorable" but like he is so precious and must be protected at all costs
"and guess what ? 🎶He got elected🎶"
"buy a pape from a poor orphan boy ?" "nO he's not an orph-" ft jack holding his boyfriend back
"why don't you come home with us fordinnerimean"
Bowery beauties <3 also Lillie Pearl giving Les a feather from her costume while Davey's entire attitude is just "les NO"
For the first time I noticed Specs and Albert on top of the stage directing the lights during that's rich I love them
Also during That's rich Ike, Buttons and another newsie (if anyone remembers who PLEASE tell me i can't believe I forgot) are watching the show and they are a mess
"hey baby I was just talking about you !" *points at Ike* ft Ike standing up super excited and Buttons going "sit DOWN" while violently gesturing to prove Medda was pointing at him
And then "Life is too short to waste it on youuuu" *points again* and Buttons just mimics following her finger like "see she is pointing at ME"
Anyway also Alex looking at Lindsay for the whole song
When Albert is getting back down after That's rich and Katherine arrives he just looks impressed and stands aside
"we got a father too !" Davey desperatly trying to get his brother to stop talking
Oscar pacing back and forth before world will know while Morris is just sitting there with his legs hanging from the structure
I don't know if it was just me or because I was really close to the stage for the first time or something but Wold will know was the most intense I have ever heard ?? As in I always get chills during this song but then more than usual. Even in the evening it wasn't like that idk this one was just super intense I loved it
Finch physically dragging Crutchie away from the gates of the World after jack, Davey and les are thrown out
"two cents for a glass of seltzer ? Just give me a watah" then Race (who is sitting at albert's table) snatching the glass of seltzer from Jacobi's plate and Jacobi just grabs it right back in a way that says 1- he was expecting it 2- this is totally a thing Racer does every time
Race then proceeds to look personally offended for the next five minutes of the show
"I would say we launched our strike in the most auspicious manner" *longest silence you ever heard* "I dunno about thaAT"
Another one to add to the list of "who wants Brooklyn ?" reactions : mark spending a good minute wrapping his neck ribbon thingy around his eyes
"why don't I tell you what I'm hoping for for tonIgHt" and "can't you see it ? In my eyyyyes ?" This is true comedy right here. Jack trying so hard to be a straight guy and failing miserably.
BrontĂŠ legend queen goddess nailing the best Watch what happens ever
When the scabs arrive and Albert just shoves Tommy boy so hard he falls on the floor and Buttons has to help him up oh my god
Anyway I will make no comments about Seize the day nor Santa fe because I was bawling my eyes out at this point. And so was everyone on stage. All I can say is during the name call when it was Les's turn everyone started cheering and it was the cutest moment ever
ANYWAY king of new york my baby love of my life
Everyone rolling their eyes to high heaven when Katherine shows up
"the world's your erster !" Josh Race ceo of saying the dumbest things you have ever heard with an unmatched level of confidence
Featuring Henry's entire "what the absolute hell" attitude I love him like "your WHAT ?????"
I could talk about this scene for hours but anyway sitting in the bronx was so scary when they started spinning on the lamps lmao
The spoon crown is still the cutest thing ever done in newsies to this date <3
And like I never talk about it but I absolutely love how they removed the awkward moment when Katherine starts tap dancing and they all look at her legs because urgh I always hated this moment. But here ? Nothing ! They are just having good fun !
Anyway Matthew already crying during Letter absolutely broke me so I won't talk about it
Did I ever mention Davey is gay
"Front page news above the fold ! Oh yes. Above *flips paper* the *flap* fold *flip* !"
WWH reprise had me absolutely dying because of how adorable Les was okay bye
"Can we table the palaver and *angrily stomps foot* go back to business ??"
Jack and Davey are gay. If you even care.
The scene in Pulitzer's office is always so heartbreaking because you have jack being so confident and all but then the second Katherine appears you can see how heartbroken and lost he is
Michael's facial expressions >>>
Also the way he just has a flight reflex the second Snyder appears like urgh
And Oscar and Morris grab him violently and one of them (I wanna say Morris ?) growls "let's don't" like Jack is trapped in every way possible
Brooklyn's here my baby my angel love of my life
As much as I missed Stray I absolutely loved Lucy's energy on "when you doooo" and her lil high five with Spot
Brooklyn girlsies have my heart now and forever like "Pips !" "Ritz !" "Mack !" "SPOT !!"
Queens
Anyway the rally was. something. I was finally able to catch some of the unscripted comments (what with being in the bronx and all) such as Tommy boy going "how is that realistic ??" and it just made the whole thing so much more heartbreaking
Also the way Davey has to build up so much confidence to speak in front of everyone and then Jack arrives and turn everything he just did to nothing
Finch booing Jack with his whole chest is honestly one of the best moments of the show he just puts his whole heart into this
Gosh I had missed Michael and BrontĂŠ's dynamic during Something to believe in they are. they were. them. the best.
"It's good to have you back" "...shut up"
Jack's reaction to bill and darcy will never not be funny because he fully says "I suppose you are the son of William Randolph hearst ?" as a joke and then Bill answers with the straightest face possible and Jack is left like "?????" (Picture that one Pikachu gif if it helps because that's exactly the face Michael makes at this moment)
Spot and Race were flirting idc
"he can't talk right now he'll call you bAcK" *hangs up* *picks up the phone again* *incoherent sobbing*
"no you can't come i-" see uksies is great because they actually made spot scary. Lillie Pearl just has to stomp in front of Bunsen and he backs up to the other end of the stage
I missed almost the whole scene in Pulitzer's office after Once and for all because I was busy looking at Ross Lindsay and Josh in the aisles behind me leave me alone. Also because I was sat right opposite ross's sister and they just spent the whole scene waving at each other
"I am told we once shared a carriage ride !" "I TOLD YOU"
Roosevelt pointing at Les and harry's reaction was just adorable
There is something so personal about Race just going "it's Snyder the spider !" in such a genuinely mean way and Tommy boy having to physically hold him back and dragging him away so he can chill
Anyway I was full on sobbing at the end but during the bows I could see Ryan and Harry making up their bow choregraphy in the back and they were adorable
...this got way longer than I expected I am so sorry I think I am slightly in denial
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sortanonymous ¡ 4 months ago
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Last-Minute NASCAR Cup Playoff Predictions (No visual grid, sorry)
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Round of 16 Exits:
Harrison Burton (I'm sorry, but... duh!)
Daniel SuĂĄrez (At least my second-favorite Trackhouse driver got in)
Austin Cindric (Penske playoff magic isn't unlimited)
Joey Logano (Please tell me reality sets in for both the Steelers of NASCAR and football this fall!)
Round of 12 Exits:
Alex Bowman (Making it this far would honestly be miraculous considering the dumb off-field distractions)
Martin Truex Jr. (I don't even really care about the title. Just please racing gods, let this legend go out with just one more win after the hell you've put him through these past 14 months!)
Chase Briscoe (SHR's final ride has almost certainly already peaked, but I still can't wait to see Briscoe in the 19 - as long as James Small doesn't waste his prime like he wasted MTJ's twilight)
Ty Gibbs (This last cut was tough, but I think his sneakily solid sophomore season goes no further, unless he can come close to a win anyway.)
Round of 8 Exits:
Denny Hamlin (I was initially on the fence between "It's his time" and "He'll choke again", but that brutal penalty could really be the dagger by this round)
Chase Elliott (Consistency should yield championships, but it unfortunately doesn't in modern NASCAR, so he may fall behind the other win-worthy drivers.)
Brad Keselowski (Maybe I'm high-balling him, but I think Brad has enough recent playoff energy left in him to carry RFK this far, but not any farther.)
Ryan Blaney (VERY close between him and Byron, but while Blaney is coming into these playoffs better than his championship year, I just get the feeling Hendrick will turn it up again and get Byron back to Phoenix. I saw someone call this the modern version of Jummie and Knaus's formula for the Chase, and I think they've got a point.)
Championship 4 and why they could win:
Kyle Larson - Even if this isn't his best season, it feels like a true banner year for Larson as a racecar driver, and with him being just one point away from the Regular Season title even after getting washed away from the most valuable race of the year, he could have a good case to win his second Bill France Cup. (Heck, it looked like he would seal it last year off another clutch pit stop, but unlike in '21, he wouldn't hold on during the final restart.)
William Byron - As said earlier, Byron may be catching onto the same formula the 48 team made a dynasty out of, and even if his championship-caliber season last year didn't end on a high note, his past success at Phoenix could be enough to put the legendary 24 car in championship lane for the first time in 23 years.
Tyler Reddick - Moving onto my two real championship contenders, Reddick made a heck of a late charge to win the Regular Season title on fumes (albiet with a little help from Mother Nature in Indy), and being arguably the best driver in Cup this year, he should be able to get over the hump and get 23XI to not just its first Championship 4 berth, but perhaps the first championship ring of any kind in decades for both of its very differently decorated owners. (Maybe its last Final 4 berth though considering this charter drama that I already lost track of like four months ago.)
Christopher Bell - Chalk it up all you want to bias for who will, after a certain retirement, soon become my second-favorite driver, but not only has Bell been insanely clutch in the playoffs as of late (he's damn near NASCAR's Mr. October at this point), but if the October Bell indeed rings all the way to Phoenix, he'll be in his paradise of the kind of flat tracks he's been so good at. (Legit, he may be the only person in the world who isn't a NASCAR executive that wants Phoenix to stay as the championship track, even if he's had championship success at Homestead in lower divisions.) Yeah, he lost his first two Final 4 berths, but those were respectively due to an OP Logano car and his tire becoming a nuke just as the race got going. Considering how he's already had his best season so far, he may have just enough to secure the 20 team (and in fact any JGR ride not driven by Kyle Busch) their first Cup title in nearly two decades. (It'd be especially since SHR's closing may mean the end of the last #20 car champion's 26-year involvement in NASCAR, as if Smoke really seems to care about that.)
And my pick for 2024 NASCAR Cup Series Champion is...
Christopher Bell! (Reddick was really close, but the Phoenix factor could be the difference. No, I'm just high on hopium after one of my two favorites collapses out of a playoff spot and the other is on pace to easily the saddest final season and a half of any Hall-of-Famer (present or future) that didn't die on the track.)
Now watch as these age like milk and the Wood Brothers win their first(?) ever Cup with a driver they issued a pink slip to months ago! 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
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mariacallous ¡ 1 year ago
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In 2023, the world has felt like it was balanced on a precipice. A United States presidential election looms, with a resurgent candidate that threatens to bring with him all the chaos of 2016 and 2020. Artificial intelligence developed so quickly that it seemed to have suddenly sprung into being, heralding vast societal promise and disruption just around the bend of its exponential curve. And the world's richest man continued to use his power to push for a more reckless tech world, from free-for-all social media and oversold assisted-driving features to AI with a “rebellious streak.”
In the midst of that uncertainty, a new war between Israel and Hamas added more atrocities alongside the slow-burning horrors of Russia's invasion of Ukraine. These wars have echoed across the internet in propaganda, hate speech, and cyberattacks that triggered widespread real-world effects. Chinese state-sponsored hackers, meanwhile, sowed the seeds for a future cyberwar, and ransomware gangs resurged. It was a banner year for chaos, present and impending, and all reflected in the digital mirror.
Each year, WIRED assembles a list of the most dangerous people, groups, and organizations on the internet—both those who intentionally endanger innocent people and those whose actions, regardless of their intent, destabilize the world as we know it in myriad ways. Here, in no particular order, are our picks for 2023.
Elon Musk
A year ago, it might have still been fair to regard Elon Musk as a brilliant technologist with occasional destructive, trollish tendencies. In 2023, those tendencies seemed to take over his public identity. Twitter, now renamed X thanks to Musk's branding whims, this year invited back conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones and even amplified one account's antisemitic statements. When advertisers complained, Musk managed in a single conversation to both apologize for that blunder and tell them, “Go fuck yourself.”
Before that, in July, Musk had said that his social media platform's ad revenue had fallen by half—all of which calls into question whether this once-central platform for online conversation will survive Musk's reign, and in what form.
In the midst of that meltdown, Musk's new startup xAI released Grok, an AI chatbot Musk celebrated for having fewer guardrails than OpenAI's ChatGPT. Musk faces calls for an SEC investigation for his comments about how monkeys died in experiments carried out by his brain implant startup Neuralink. And in mid-December, Tesla recalled nearly every model of its vehicles sold in the US to fix an Autopilot feature. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration found that Tesla's safety measures for assuring that drivers paying attention—which many no doubt were not, perhaps thanks in part to Musk's own descriptions of the assisted-driving feature—were inadequate.
Five years ago, WIRED put Musk's face on the cover with a story that described his Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality. These days, it's becoming clearer which side of that split personality dominates.
Cl0p
In 2023, ransomware resurged. According to cryptocurrency firm Chainalysis, it appears to be on track to be the second-worst year on record in terms of total extortion payments collected by the ransomware industry's coercive gangs of hackers. But perhaps no group did more damage this year than the people behind the Cl0p malware.
In May, the Cl0p gang began exploiting a zero-day vulnerability in the MOVEit file transfer software and used it to carry out a shocking spree of intrusions across more than 2,000 organizations, according to ransomware-focused security firm Emsisoft. A single victim, medical firm Maximus, lost control of the data of at least 8 million people in the breach. The hackers stole data from the state government of Maine on another 1.3 million. In total, at least 62 million people were affected, and Cl0p's hackers remain at large.
Alphv
If Cl0p were the most ruthless ransomware hackers of the year, Alphv, also known as Black Cat, were certainly in close contention. The group, which has ties to the hackers who carried out the 2021 cyberattack on the Colonial Pipeline, gained a new level of notoriety in September when it targeted MGM Resorts International, shutting down computer systems across the hotel and casino chain and ultimately doing $100 million in damage, by MGM's estimate. More broadly, the FBI says that Alphv has compromised over a thousand organizations and extracted more than $300 million in ransoms.
In mid-December, the FBI announced that it had seized the dark-web site where Alphv publishes its victims’ stolen data. Hours later, the site reappeared, and Alphv defiantly announced it had “unseized” it and would no longer abide by a rule not to target critical infrastructure systems. The site was soon taken down again. But given that no members of the group have been arrested or even indicted in absentia, its chaos will likely continue.
Hamas
No event of 2023 has shaken geopolitics as suddenly and shockingly as Hamas' atrocities against civilians in Southern Israel on October 7. The attacks, in which Hamas militants killed 1,200 people and took hundreds of hostages, immediately triggered a war that threatens to destabilize the region. It has also shaken the tech world, where it has raised questions about the digital technologies that have enabled Hamas, from the millions of dollars the group raised via cryptocurrency to its channels on Telegram, where it distributes propaganda and videos of its violence. When ISIS came to prominence in 2014, it forced every technology platform in the world to question whether and how it enabled extremist violence. Now, a decade later, a new round of horrific bloodletting shows how that reckoning continues.
Sandworm
Despite sanctions, indictments, and even a $10 million bounty, Russia's team of hyper-aggressive military intelligence hackers known as Sandworm are still out there—and still active. As Russia's invasion of Ukraine grinds toward its third brutal year, in fact, they appear to have turned their focus to that conflict.
This year, Sandworm was revealed to have carried out a third blackout cyberattack against a Ukrainian electric utility, this time in the midst of a Russian air strike hitting the same city. It later penetrated Ukrainian military communications in a more traditional espionage-focused effort to gain an advantage during Ukraine's counteroffensive. And evidence points to Sandworm's responsibility for a cyberattack just this month that hit the telecom Kyivstar, taking out internet and mobile communications for millions amid another series of strikes. The group, in other words, continues to earn its reputation as the Kremlin's most dangerous hackers.
Volt Typhoon
For years, the cybersecurity community has asked itself who might be the “Sandworm of China.” This year provided perhaps the closest thing yet to an answer. The hacker group dubbed Volt Typhoon by Microsoft was revealed in May to have planted malware in power grid networks across the continental US and Guam, in some cases with an apparent eye toward controlling the flow of electricity to US military bases. More recently, The Washington Post revealed that Volt Typhoon's targets have extended to other kinds of critical infrastructure too, from an oil and gas pipeline to a major West Coast port and a Hawaiian water utility.
While the intentions of the group and its overseers are still far from clear, cybersecurity and geopolitical analysts increasingly see it as laying the groundwork to disrupt key US systems in the event of a crisis—such as China invading Taiwan.
Donald Trump
Last year, for the first time since 2015, Donald Trump was not included on this list. Hope you enjoyed the break!
Less than 11 months out from the 2024 US presidential election, Trump leads Republican primary polls by a wide margin. He has used his rekindled relevance to launch disturbing attacks on his perceived enemies, largely from his own right-wing-dominated Truth Social platform.
In posts there, he has vowed, if elected, to launch federal investigations into media companies and journalists that criticize him and to prosecute President Biden. He has ranted about the wife of one of the judges overseeing a civil trial against him for fraud charges and blamed his political opponents for the criminal charges he faces for allegations of election interference and improper handling of classified information. And he has continued to tout his discredited claims of winning the 2020 election, which the US Department of Justice says fueled the January 6, 2021, storming of the US Capitol.
More to the point, all of this may be finding a receptive audience among Trump's base. That means it could help usher in another presidency of the kind that pulled the US out of the Paris Agreement on climate change, instituted a “Muslim ban” and family separation border policy, dismantled pandemic protections, and denied the seriousness of Covid-19 as hundreds of thousands of American died. Here we go again.
Israel Defense Forces
Since October 7, Israel's military has responded to Hamas' invasion of Israel with attacks that have killed at least 20,000 Palestinians—largely women and children—displaced nearly 2 million of Gaza's inhabitants, and cut off the flow of food, water, and medicine to the region. It has also at times taken out Gaza's telecommunications and internet to leave it in a near-total information blackout, even as it claims it's using those communication tools to warn civilians about its impending attacks on their homes.
In the midst of all of this, Israel's propaganda machine has been working to shape the public narrative about its military operations, from promoted tweets by the IDF in support of its campaign in Gaza appearing on X to Israeli accounts going so far as to claim that Palestinian deaths have been staged with dolls made to look like dead infants. All of that has played a role in silencing global criticism of the IDF's actions even as the death toll from its war against Hamas stretches an order of magnitude beyond that of Hamas' October 7 atrocities.
Sam Altman
Running the company that's arguably leading the race to develop the most disruptive technology ever imagined is enough to qualify anyone as one of the most dangerous people to exist—not just this year but in human history. Setting that small point aside, Altman might seem at a glance like the most benign personality imaginable to serve as OpenAI's CEO. He has chosen, surprisingly, to take no equity stake in the company. He argues for more government regulation of AI in interviews and congressional hearings. He genuinely seems to believe in a flourishing future for humanity in a post-singularity world.
But November's brief and dramatic power struggle within OpenAI exposed a less reassuring side to the company's leader and the newly consolidated circle of power that surrounds him. Altman had argued in the past that the strange structure of OpenAI, with a nonprofit overseeing a for-profit company, offered a form of self-restraint that would keep the company's technological ambitions on a safety-conscious leash. But when Altman was fired by OpenAI's board and almost immediately wrested back control of the company while ousting several board members—including two ethics-focused effective altruists—the leash snapped. OpenAI, in this new era, is now firmly under the control of one man and his executive team, as well as Microsoft, his $2.8 trillion corporate ally and investor.
So let's hope his plan for the future of this world-flipping technology is a good one. Either way, it will be very hard to stop him.
Predatory Sparrow
The group that calls itself Predatory Sparrow, a translation from the Persian Gonjeshke Darande, is hardly a household name in the cybersecurity world. But it raised alarms in 2022 when it carried out a cyberattack on several Iranian companies, including a steel mill where it claimed—and posted video to show—that it had somehow started a fire in the facility. The group, which styles itself as hacktivists but which the Iranian government has claimed is linked to the Israeli state, also leaked a collection of documents stolen in those breaches that the hackers said revealed the companies�� connections to the Iran Revolutionary Guard Corps.
Now, in the wake of the Israel-Hamas war, and as Houthi rebels fire Iranian missiles at Israel, Predatory Sparrow has carried out a second major cyberattack against Iran, this time reportedly disabling as many as 70 percent of gas stations across the country. This will be one to watch.
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lluiscarrasco ¡ 9 months ago
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where,  — early morning, Alex's apartment closed  — @alexxcarrasco
It was a tradition, between the Carrasco siblings. Ever since they were small children, Luis would bake a cake for his sister the night before her birthday. In the morning, he would decorate it — spell out her name in frosting and add small hearts and flowers by the outlines. Of course, they all looked sloppy, and the older he got, the worse they looked (uneven and wobbly) Whenever the frosting failed completely, he would replace it with chocolate chips — they were easier to mess with, anyway. chocolate on chocolate with even more chocolate cake — her favourite. He carried it, from the front seat of his car to her kitchen table. Two candles were already planted in the middle of it — 28. They weren't children anymore. He couldn't burst into her room singing happy birthday like she was ten. They were all grown up now. Luis didn't know what he could stumble onto inside her bedroom (the possibility of seeing a sleeping Gael was strong. He might as well smash the cake in his face.) So, he put on some music (loud and happy) and focused on hanging up a banner in the kitchen.
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reidak-artcreature ¡ 1 year ago
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2023 recap!
Can't belive the year is over! Time to look back cause I sure don't remember half the stuff I've done
January
Birb got 10 notes and I couldn't believe how much people loved him.
I tried a crochet kit and was defeated. In my defense I have to say it was right after an exam and it was really cold.
I got a watercolor set and rediscovered my love for watercolor
February
Discovered Funguary, and made 4 charactes. It's a really fun challenge that I'm surely going to participate again.
I made quite a few watercolor pieces, I still like them all a lot
March
Don't know how, but I finished the 100 head challenge. There are some awful monstruosities, but I learned a lot. I'll probably do it again in the future, it's a pretty nice exercise.
I finally made a sona! And this one has stuck! I love my lil shadow creature.
April
Made what is probably the watercolor piece I love the most. And one the pieces I like the most overall.
I got FlipaClip and had a lot fun making some little animations. Someone even used one of the lil gifs! That made me pretty happy
I personalized a little notebook to carry around, and it was the best desition of my life. I love that thing. And it's amazing that I don't have to search for the pen, it's all together!
May
The coin pouch is also one of the best things I've made. The strings are a bit long and the embroidery is a bit loose, I'll fix those on the next one I make (looking at you, squid pouch)
The anual redraw of Coral and Sebastian couldn't be missing. The poor Sebastian finally got his (I hope) final design. I was in love with how it looks, but looking it now... What hapened to their faces?
Decided to redraw some old drawings I had on Ibis. The progress I've made since I drew the originals.
Mermay, of course! Somehow they turned into oficial ocs. I love the stupid trio.
June
Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!! It's almost July and I haven't updated my ArtFight references! "Chibi" versions it is. At least now a lot of them have colored full body references.
Painted a box! It's now buried under too many trinkets I have to clean up, but I still love how pretty it looks!
Started a new sketchbook and painted the cover. I love the mushroom lantern.
Made this year's Artfight gif, banner and artfighters. The silly gif brings me a smile every time I see it.
July
ArtFight! 42 attacks and 21 defenses. I have no idea how I managed to make so many. I did get burned out on the second half of the month tho. I absolutely love every single art I received, but this one with Coral and Sebastian has a special place.
What do you do when you are burned out? You make a new style, of course! I love the simple style that came out of that. Feels weird to see that is fairly recent, I feel like I've been using it for ages. It has evolved a bit since, those thin lines in the eyes look weird now.
August
Nuclear Waste was born. And people went crazy. The silly boy loves and appreciates all the affection you've showered him!
Smaugust is a thing? Dragons! I still need so much prectice with them and animals in general.
I made a comic! I love it, it's so silly. I had a great time with it.
September
Pirate shirt! It fits a bit weird, but I think I can fix it. It took soooo long to hand sew it
I got a drawing tablet! Took me a couple of weeks to get used to, but it was worth it. I love using it.
To practice I made every single prompt of CuteGirltober. The only reason I was able to finish is that most of them were left as sketches. Should have learned from ArtFight, I can't draw every day, that's too much.
November
I made a font! It works really well, and it's so fun to type something and see it look like you handwrote it.
Got to write a bit too. I need to do that more.
I also worked on some proyects I've been wanting to do but haven't touched in a long while.
Including bookbinding a little notebook! I filled it with headshots of my ocs.
December
ArticFight prompts and a secret santa were mostly the reasons I drew. I love this one with Alex and Layla.
I also made some free adoptables. There might be some left when this is posted.
And we are done with the year!
That was so much! Thank you everyone, hope you had a good year and an even better 2024!
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foxymoxynoona ¡ 3 years ago
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Tell Me What Changed (Pt. 1)
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Banner and lines by the talented @awrkive
Summary: Alex and Jungkook have been best friends since childhood --actual best friends. She is NOT in love with him, for real, and wishes people would stop assuming that. Why does no one question if he's in love with her? Huh? But it might have to do with his successful fuckboy status, while Alex is very much... not that. Which is fine and doesn't matter! Until Jimin's impending wedding leaves her eager for a date and willing to put herself out there, and Jungkook can't believe what happens next.
Fuckboy Best Friend JK x OC
CW and tags: fuckboy behavior, jealousy, pining, heartbreak, angst, language, sex, sexy photos, alcohol, f2l, who knows what else
Ch. 1 word count 18,561
Read on AO3 here or below
MASTERLIST | NEXT
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Alex flopped onto the sofa next to Rebekah, a plate in each hand and the bag of chips held between her teeth. Rebekah laughed at her and took the chips seconds before they fell, demanding,
“Why did you carry them like that? You weirdo.”
“I’d already picked up the sandwiches, obviously.”
“Obviously. Where are the pickles?”
“Babe, you think I’d leave the pickles off? They’re on the sandwich!”
“Yeah but we want more than that, don’t we? No, you sit, I’ll get them, I know where they are.”
“You just want me for my pickles,” Alex sighed as Rebekah disappeared around the corner to the kitchen and returned a moment later with several jars and a fork. Pickles were about the only gourmet food Alex kept stocked because she loved them and also because you could just buy a jar of them for not very much money. Even gourmet ones weren’t that expensive. It wasn’t like she made the pickles herself. Actually she was a very good cook, but lazy, and not very interested in cooking just for herself, so maybe she’d cook something if Jungkook was home but he’d been “busy” lately.
Speak of the devil, Jungkook stumbled out of his bedroom as if her mere thoughts had unfortunately summoned him. He never exited the bedroom quietly; he groaned and snorted like he had the world’s biggest loogie to hock. His feet were like sandpaper shuffling across the hardwood floor in his low-hanging sweatpants as he scratched his stomach and dug the sleep out of his eye. If he found anything, it was tossed to the floor.
“Gross, put your eye boogers in the trash,” Alex complained. “Rebekah doesn’t want to see that.”
The transformation was instant. Jungkook cleared his throat and straightened. A second ago his eyes were barely opened like a fresh kitten but now he blinked and smiled and ran his hand through his hair, ruffling the recently trimmed locks. 
He turned and gave Rebekah his most charming crooked smile and waved and said with a low, gravely voice, “Morning, Rebekah.”
“Afternoon, Jungkook.”
Alex rolled her eyes –both at the Jungkook’s performance for her friend and at Rebeka’s willing participation in it– and decided to burst that bubble, “Hey fucker, your hookup the other night left a dog-sized wad of hair in the shower.”
“Bullshit– Sorry, Rebekah. But that’s your damn hair, Alex.”
“Yeah, my blonde curly hair?”
“Well–”
“Yeah and I saw it was still there this morning so go see for yourself.”
“You left it?”
“Uh, not my job to clean up after your fucks? But I think this one’s diseased, that’s a lot of hair she left behind.”
It worked; Jungkook was annoyed about the teasing before he’d had anything to eat and sighed,
“Fine, whatever, I’ll clean it out. I’m so sorry to subject you to the body horrors of your own species.”
“Wha!” Alex cried. “And what are you, if not human?”
“You aren’t going to comment about me calling you a female?”
“How the fuck do you get laid so much if you refer to women as ‘females’? That’s like a primary red flag.”
He came close and flicked her ear, teasing, “I don’t refer to women as ‘females,’ only you, slug bug.”
“Don’t call me slug bug,” she complained, slapping at him, trying to hit him in the dick. He knew and laughed as he easily evaded it. 
“Sorry for being crude around you, Rebekah,” he beamed at her, all charm again. “Alex brings out the gremlin in us all….”
“Fuck off…”
Rebekah just waved her hand, “Don’t worry about it…” She looked, of course, dazzled by Jungkook’s smile aimed in her direction. Women often were. How Rebekah still carried that torch though was baffling to Alex because she got to see the real Jungkook more than most other women did, since she occasionally came into the turd monster’s inner sanctum –ie, the apartment Jungkook and Alex had shared for three years now. Jungkook was nothing like the type of man Rebekah actually went for, and yet his suave charm worked on her even to smooth over the glimpses of his true bratty personality that peeked through while she was around. Only Alex got to see the real thing though, the whole thing, the foul-mouthed, sore loser, gaming-obsessed, Cheeto-chomping, trash-TV-loving asshole. Ok, sure, the muscle-y hottie with the dimpled smile and big shiny eyes, who’d graduated with Honors back in the day and was now doing disgustingly well at his sales job wasn’t fake , exactly. That was all stupidly true too, just not the whole picture. She’d seen Jungkook fasting before a party and lying about his hobbies to pretty women and leaving the remains of his manscaping around the toilet seat too many times not to think it was all really fucking stupid. But the lies worked. Jungkook was successful in everything from gaming to work commission to the revolving door of his bedroom.
“You got a little something there,” Jungkook said, pointing to his own chin. Alex wiped at her face with the back of her hand. “No, it’s…” He sighed deeply and licked his thumb and wiped the mustard off her chin himself then grimaced after putting the remnant into his own mouth, “It’s too early for mustard…”
“It’s almost one!”
“Time is relative…” He trailed off, heading towards the kitchen. Rebekah stared at Alex for a moment with unabashed envy. 
Alex sighed, “Oh come on, don’t buy into his whole thing too…”
“What?” Rebekah gave her a blank smile. Alex sighed again. And Again. 
And reached for her sandwich, motioning, “Eat your damn food, traitor.”
“What? Traitor?” Rebekah craned her neck, apparently searching to see if Jungkook was still in sight. When he wasn’t, she asked quietly, “Ok, but does it really not bother you?”
“Does what not bother me?”
“Living with… him ?”
“Oh yeah he bothers me tons,” Alex snorted. “Can’t put his fucking socks in the hamper. Leaves the jelly jar on the counter. Doesn’t make me food automatically when he’s in there making his own. And–”
“But I mean with all the… he brings a lot of women home, doesn’t he? He’s got a bit of a reputation…”
Alex went very still. She’d known Rebekah a long time, and considered a close friend, even though she’d only recently moved back to the city. But if there was one thing she wouldn’t tolerate, it was any of her friends saying shit about Jungkook. That was her job, and her job only.
“Define a lot… what about his reputation…”
“No, I just mean he’s popular with women, right? Like actually popular. He always has the attention of the most gorgeous woman in the room and– I just mean, aren’t you in love with him?”
Alex instantly choked on her sandwich. She really thought she might be going to die or puke as Rebekah pounded her on the back to dislodge the oversized bite. Once it was down, her eyes watered and she had to sip water before crying,
“Don’t say something dumb like that! Of course I’m not! Why does everyone always think I’m in love with him?”
“Well… have you seen him…”
“Yes, I’ve seen him.”
“Oh really? Like seen him, seen him? And was he–”
“I’m not impressed and you’re being gross.”
“Sorry,” Rebekah mumbled and grabbed her sandwich.
“How come no one ever asks him if he’s in love with me? It’s bullshit! I can’t tell you how many times a woman has come out of his room, seen me, and been like, ‘aw, he lives with his little sister? That’s so sweet.’ His sister! I’m not even fucking Korean! Do all Asian people just look the same to white people?!”
“As a Jew I can’t really speak for all white people–”
“Just once I’d like to hear someone ask, ‘Jungkook, how do you possibly live in the same space as that goddess and not just fall head over heels for her?’”
“Ok, but do you want him to….? That’s what I mean. You really don’t have any feelings for him? It doesn’t bother you at all to see him parade through all these gorgeous women?”
“Uh, no,” Alex rolled her eyes. “It’s somewhere on the spectrum between funny and gross –as long as he cleans the damn shower!” she added, hearing his footsteps down the hall. He walked like he had steel-toed boots on even when just wearing those weirdo toe socks he loved so much. Women hated those. She noticed he appeared to have removed his socks in the kitchen and used water to push the hair back from his face. He had a bowl of yogurt and granola and a mug of coffee but for some reason had his tongue bulging in his cheek –not food, because the bump disappeared. He knew women liked that thing he did too. He’d made such a careful study. He was observant about that kind of thing, which made him a very good fuckboy. Or, uh, bad, however you were supposed to say it. Successful.
“I’ll scrub the shower as soon as I finish my breakfast, promise,” he said with a megawatt grin. For Rebekah’s sake. Probably he’d heard everything she’d just said and was going to gloat about it later. Alex had previously insisted Rebekah was uninterested. Three years ago she had been!
“With tub cleaner, not your body wash!”
“I know how to clean a bath tub!” he called, disappearing down the hall.
“He doesn’t,” Alex snickered. “He definitely moved in with me thinking I’d be his wife. Joke’s on him! I’m as much a goblin as he is.”
“He’s… a goblin?” Rebekah asked, eyebrows raising. And Alex sighed, because of course Rebekah didn’t see it. No one ever saw it because around everyone else Jungkook was this star child. He glowed like the sun, he charmed, he seduced. She saw it, even if she didn’t get hooked the same way everyone else with a pussy did. But also like… he was her funny, scumbag friend who stayed up all night playing video games with her and doing Taco Bell runs at one in the morning and went to opening night of every Star Wars and Lord of the Rings movie with her and bought her a body pillow that said Pippin’s Girl over Billy Boyd’s character –literally the only birthday present he’d ever given her. 
But there was no point trying to explain these things to Rebekah, and in a way, it would feel like a betrayal of Jungkook. He worked hard to keep that charming pretense up! And Rebekah wouldn’t be able to see even if she did talk about what it was actually like living with him. She’d sound bitter. She’d sound like she was in love with him and denying it. She’d been told that before. Boring take. Two people had never been more platonically friends than they were.
So instead she shrugged, “Whatever. But sorry, we have a strict ‘no sleeping with my friends’ rule and he won’t break it.”
“Oh, yeah no, of course not,” Rebekah quickly insisted. “I wasn’t– I was just curious about, you know, what it’s like to live with a guy. We’re friends and I would never… I really value our friendship. Chicks before– you get the idea.”
More than you want to fuck Jungkook? Who are you trying to convince here?
Alex sulked into her sandwich and tried to think of a way to change the subject away her dumb best friend. No, living with him wasn’t a problem at all, but living in his shadow could get really annoying.
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Alex did her best to hold still as she applied eyeliner, leaned over the bathroom mirror. Eyeshadow baffled her, but she’d mastered a fierce cat eyeliner over the years. It was funny to think back to college now, when Jungkook had sprawled across her bed, watching the same makeup videos and trying to help her get it just right because he insisted he could do it better. He could. Damn his steady hands. The capstone of that study had been them both rocking pretty sweet looks to the Rocky Horror live viewing party that year. Jungkook in fishnets and a bustier had looked every bit the fuckboy he hadn’t even fully evolved into yet; now he wouldn’t be caught dead in such an ensemble.
At the right party, Alex would! She loved a good costume. But tonight was the run of the mill, regular beer bash at Namjoon’s place because his divorce had finalized. That’s right, Namjoon had married and divorced before Alex had even been in a real relationship. 
Her phone buzzed with a notification. Perched on the edge of the counter, it was just enough vibration to pitch over the edge and bounce right off her toe.
“Fuck!” she cried, dropping and grabbing her poor toes, squeezing through the pain. At least it had kept her phone from breaking but fucking shit, it hurt!
“You ok?” Jungkook’s voice drifted from the kitchen.
“Yeah, phone fell on my toe!”
He didn’t say anything back but at least he’d asked. She grabbed her phone, feeling her pain transfer to anger at whoever had messaged her. 
But it wasn’t even a message to her! Apparently her phone thought it really important that she know Jungkook had posted a snapchat. She didn’t even use Snapchat, it was just on her phone because Taehyung’s girlfriend Sabina had made her download it, insisting it was a useful tool for meeting guys. She was wrong . Maybe if you looked like Sabina. 
She opened the app, ready to see what was so important.
“A meal before the buffet at nj’s 🌶🌶🌶 hungry?”
The caption was pasted over a photo looking down Jungkook’s bare muscular stomach to the kitchen counter, the cutting board on the left with red and green peppers and broccoli, and a frying pan on the right where the sausages were sizzling –the dinner he was making for them to eat before they headed out to Namjoon’s party. There wasn’t food at the party. Certainly no buffet. 
But all of that was beside the point because the photo was centered on Jungkook’s package on the kitchen counter. Sure, still wearing his gray basketball shorts, but they left very little to the imagination. He did not appear to be wearing boxers. 
“Jungkook!” she shouted, stomping out of the bathroom. “Get your dick off the kitchen counter!” Nevermind that she was certain he would have had to stand on his tiptoes and flex to pull off that photo, which was funny as shit. She wasn’t mad about the dick on the counter, per se.
But he gave her such a dumb look as she stormed in, saying only, “Huh?”
“Your latest thirst trap is a bit much, don’t you think?”
“What…”
“I can see tip! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
“What?!” he yelped and grabbed his phone. “That was supposed to be private…”
“Are you serious?! I just got a notification! Snapchat wanted to make sure I can see you got yourself all chubbed up in the kitchen while you’re making my dinner!”
“Ewwww,” he frowned, but he was frantically opening his phone.
“Yeah, ewww is right! Keep your sausage away from my sausages! And you’re letting them burn!”
“I am not…”
But he was distracted. She shoved him out of the way and fanned the smoke away from her face as she flipped them over. Jungkook’s phone buzzed so steadily in his hand that she thought he had an alarm going off. He sauntered down a bit and leaned against the counter, surrendering the cooking to her without a word. He was smiling.
“What are you smiling like an idiot about?” she demanded.
“Seems like it’s a pretty popular picture,” he grinned, flashing the phone screen at her. It was the Snapchat message page but she couldn’t read that far away and probably didn’t want to. “Getting a lot of messages about it…”
“Saying ‘Hey cheap manwhore, keep your junk away from hot oil?”
“I’m not cheap. Those peppers are organic!”
“No, are they? Why?! That’s so much more expensive, you idiot!”
But he was ignoring her again, typing on his phone. 
Look, she’d gotten used to his thirst trap insta a long time ago. What had started as an account mostly focused on him trying to perform cool dangerous stunts on his skateboard had found better traction once he started adding gym selfies. Somewhere along the line, scrawny little Jungkook had figured out a way to add some bulk to his frame. Not much –he still looked small next to Namjoon, something he lamented every time he drank too much in a pretty unchanging and homoerotic monologue– but enough to fill in the definition of his muscles. And the ladies on social media liked that. A lot of men too, actually, and while Jungkook wasn’t looking for male attention, he did seem flattered by it nonetheless. So his content grew to include pool selfies. Party selfies. Outfit of the day selfies. Just bought coffee selfies. And a whole lot of shirtless domestic selfies –in fact, there was a good chance that if he’d done a chore around the house, it was so he could post a photo of himself doing it shirtless. 
Whatever, it got the chores done.
He had almost 10,000 Instagram followers, and who knew how many on Snapchat and TikTok and whatever other dark web places he spent his time these days.
Alex had an instagram and a Twitter. Her instagram was mostly pictures of cats she found when she went for walks and funny things her friends did. She never posted on Twitter but just kept the account so she could read the entire thread from funny Tweet compilations on Buzzfeed. 
“Eh, I’ll leave it up,” he shrugged, brushing past her to grab the peppers, only to see she’d already tossed them into the pan. 
“Are you serious?”
“Why not?”
“ Tip , Jungkook.”
“Will you stop saying that to me?”
“I can see your tip,” she said again slowly. “I don’t want to see your tip.”
“Then don’t look!”
“You blasted it to my phone!”
“Well, it turns out you’re in the minority, so–”
“Next stop, OnlyFans? Ooooh hey I bet you could buy us a PS5…”
“Alex! Don’t whore me out–”
“You whore yourself out, I’m just capitalizing. Let me know if you need help.”
“Are you offering to hold the camera?” he asked, arching his eyebrow. Blatantly flirting to mock her. 
She punched him in the stomach, then removed the pan from the heat before he could retaliate in any way. His ‘ oof’ was so satisfying.
“I’ve seen your little pepper, I was not impressed–”
“Hey! Hey, ok that was– I was– we were fifteen and it was on accident! You shouldn’t have walked into my room without knocking!”
“Yeah, lesson learned!”
He sighed, “You caught me before I’d even started… I’m a grower, not a–”
“Shut up ,” she groaned. “Stop talking to me about your dick.”
“I wouldn’t be telling you to shut up if you wanted to tell me about–” But he broke off before she could even kick him, laughing and unable to keep up the farce himself. She wasn’t his type and he wasn’t hers and this was all like seeing her brother’s dick show up on her phone. Gross. 
“I’m going to finish getting dressed. Are you wearing that?” she teased, pointing to his bare torso.
“With all the messages I’m getting? Nah, I’ll look good.”
“Good luck pulling that off.”
“Whatever, shrimpy.” She shoved her knuckle into his ribs as she passed and he flinched, but as a final peace offering called after her, “Your eyeliner looks good though!”
“I know!”
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Namjoon’s party was everything she had actually missed from college. Alex wasn’t a big partier ever, not really, but if the timing was right and she could be just drunk enough while her friends were also just drunk enough, she could let loose for an evening. And all her friends were here, and all just the right amount of drunk, and In’am was killing it on playlist management. Sure, there were dozens of people she didn’t know, and that tended to annoy and exhaust her. She and Jungkook were complete opposites in that way –but she had plenty of friends besides him to act as a buffer. Jimin, Taehyung, and Namjoon had sheltered her from many unwanted social encounters over the years. The additions of Jimin’s In’am years ago had been a breath of fresh air in her male-heavy friend group, and Sabina more recently had this god-given talent for diverting a conversation with literally anyone once it started to get tedious. 
Which was perfect because Taehyung and Jimin were blunt as shit and Namjoon meant well but sometimes didn’t pick up on cues and said exactly what you didn’t want to hear. Especially when he was drunk.
“This is Alex Song,” he said, introducing her to someone whose name stood no chance of sticking in her brain. “Like the Thong Song but with an ‘s’.”
“What the fuck?” she complained and hit him in the stomach, only to yank her hand back, “Ow.” She cradled it against her chest.
“I love that song!” the guy said.
“Ironically or unironically?” she asked him, predicting the answer.
“It’s great!” Yep, there it was. 
But suddenly Sabina was there, sliding her arm around Alex’s shoulder as she said, “We’re going to dance, goodbye.”
“Where?” Namjoon asked with interest.
“On your table probably?”
“No!”
“Yes!” Taehyung argued for them as they walked past. 
Alex didn’t actually want to dance on the table, and at the last moment ducked away. It left her torn between harassing Jimin during his pool game or joining some older acquaintances piled around the TV playing Mario Kart. The range of activities was lovely. She ought to tell Namjoon he was a good host, but then recalled he’d associated her with the Thong Song. Wildly uncomfortable underwear. Was she a wildly uncomfortable person?
“You look lost,” In’am mused, sidling up to her. 
“Too many things, I don’t know where to go…”
In’am grinned and suggested, “We could go in the backyard–”
“How did Namjoon already afford a house like this?” she interrupted with a sigh, even though she knew the answer. Wealthy parents. Lucky. He had a yard . She was going to be stuck rooming with Jungkook forever. At least his fuckboy ways meant he was unlikely to ever get married and leave her. With Jimin and In’am engaged now, and Taehyung and Sabina maybe not far away, it was down to her, Namjoon, and Jungkook. And Namjoon would be on the look again soon probably now that the divorce was behind him and he was great even if he was a dumbass sometimes, so that probably wouldn’t take too long. And Jungkook would always have his bed warm. So it would be just her. Just lonely her all alone, tagging along, watching rom-coms and wondering why it seemed so impossible that she would ever have that kind of a thing. How could she even meet someone? There was no one at this entire party she wanted anything to do with like that–
“Alex,” In’am called, grabbing and squishing her face. “You need to sit down?”
“Am I going to be alone forever?
In’am laughed, “Girl! What? No! I thought you just weren’t looking!”
“I’m not but…”
“I can introduce you to some people if you want–”
“No,” Alex suddenly panicked and pulled away. Dating? Yuck. Getting to know someone? Horrible. Finding someone she could have the kind of intimacy and closeness and fluffy romance she saw in the movies with and craved? It just didn’t look right for her in real life! Even she couldn’t see herself in something like that! “I’m just hungry and I need another drink.”
“You didn’t eat Jungkook’s sausage?”
“ What ?”
In’am had meant the joke though and laughed, “That fool boy sent that out– I have never deleted an app from my phone so goddamn fast. Last thing I need is my fiance’s friends sending that crap to my phone…”
“Right? It’s crap!”
“I mean, power to him to post whatever he wants, and he’s catching the fish he wants with that kind of hook but I don’t need that in my head when he’s like my little brother.”
“Yeah, same. Very little.”
He had not looked very little in the photo. In fact Alex knew he wasn’t very little because it wasn’t her fucking fault he wore sweatpants around the house all the time. She didn’t check him out but she existed and he had not needed to tell her he was a grower because she knew that. Just like she knew many obnoxious stories about that dick of his, inconvenient boner times, the kinds of porn he liked, whatever. Granted, she didn’t know how much of the things he told her were truth or jokes, but since there was a zero-female-awareness thing going on between them, he was perfectly comfortable telling her the bro-y sordid details. Not that he was any kind of special guy to her either, other than being her dearest idiot friend, so it wasn’t a big deal, but sometimes it would be nice if he’d stop thrusting his manness into every aspect of their lives. Sometimes she kind of missed the pre-fuckboy days when Jungkook had also believed no one would ever look at him twice and they’d cried at romantic movies together and played video games all night and challenged each other to disgusting food concoction competitions.
Jimin was motioning them over and Alex was happy to go. A game of Kings was getting organized and Alex was happy to slide into place. She loved this kind of game! Even drunk, she nailed the mental challenges of remembering the rules, and always did great at naming states or presidents of animals or whatever challenge came up. 
“Where’s Jungkook? He’ll want to play,” Taehyung said, sitting next to Alex and tugging Sabina down next to him. 
“I don’t know where he is. Am I my brother’s keeper?” she scoffed. But her gaze naturally flitted around the living room and dining room and kitchen, all visible from her seat. She got that weird, kind of sad feeling again. Like ok, maybe he’ll come play this game and we’ll all have a blast together and later we can laugh about the fact all our friends are finding love while we eat fries in my bed and fall asleep, happily single.
He was in the kitchen, most of him blocked by the girl he was making out with. Alex happened to spot him at the same time he whispered something in the girl’s ear that made her laugh. He led her out of the kitchen, his smug smile not noticeable to the woman behind him. Apparently his sausage picture had let him cut right to the chase; it wasn’t even 11 yet and he was already out.
“Oh, there he goes…” Jimin snickered, shaking his head. “That kid.”
“Can’t wait to meet my new mom!” Alex joked. She nudged Namjoon, “Guess I’m sleeping here tonight. You got a poolhouse I can have?”
“You know I don’t have a poolhouse and cabs still work if you’re single…”
The defensive groans and complaints from their friends were enough. Namjoon backtracked, insisting he was joking, of course Alex could crash here, probably lots of people would. 
They decided Alex could make the first rule. But what kind of sucked is that she could think of so many rules that would be super funny to Jungkook, or at least the Jungkook who hung out and was chill and had more thoughts in his head than where he could stick his dick, and he wasn’t even here to hear them.
Maybe that was unfair… They still did lots of stuff together! Maybe his teasing went too far sometimes lately but hers kind of did too, right? It was hard to tell. He seemed invincible lately. He was living the life he wanted and in a way, that meant leaving Alex behind–
“Earth to Alex!”
“Ok, my challenge is: name states that don’t have an A in them! If you fuck it up, drink it up! Mississippi.”
“Idaho,” Taehyung beamed at her . After a beat, a roar of laughter. He’d already fucked it up just to make a joke. How Taehyung. 
Her friends were great. Who even needed Jungkook around right now? He could do whatever and they could just be roommates and that was fine. Everything was fine, she was just the wrong kind of drunk, but she could snap out of it. Hopefully he’d go to the girl’s place and she could have the apartment to herself for her hangover! That was good since she always felt overheated and nauseated when she drank too much and wanted to wear as little clothing as possible, but Jungkook teased her about her short legs like an asshole. What did women keep seeing in him anyway? But then, they fucked and were gone before they had to deal with the teasing, so that was the answer. 
“Famous painters,” Taehyung declared for his turn.
“The topics for Kings have sure changed a lot since we were in college,” Jimin laughed. “What happened to Spongebob characters and types of sex toys?
“Wait for your turn, asshole!”
But yeah, things were changing. That was all. Nothing wrong with that! Alex was glad when it was her turn to drink.
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On Thursdays the arcade did Ladies’ Nights where girls got unlimited game cards for the machines. Alex and Jungkook had been going to this long enough to remember when it was only a $50 card, but it hadn’t brought in enough women, so they’d expanded the benefit. Jungkook’s bitterness had risen, but not so much that he would miss out, and while they didn’t go every week, it was a pretty common place to find them on a Thursday night.
“I just don’t know why they keep running the offer if it’s not working for them,” Jungkook complained, plastic machine gun wedged against his shoulder. Beside him, similar stance but over a foot shorter, Alex fired her red version at the screen with much less careful aim. 
“But it obviously is working for them.”
“What obviously?” Jungkook asked, motioning around the relatively quiet arcade. “No hot girls.”
“The fuck are you talking about?” she argued, motioning up and down her own body. “I’m here all the time.”
“Yeah, like I said, it’s not working–” He grunted as she spun and kicked the back of his knee, but he’d been prepared for it and unfortunately didn’t go down. She contemplated stealing his beanie and throwing it onto the Mortal Kombat AR stage so he’d have to show off his smashed greasy hair until the match finished and he could retrieve it, but settled for pointing out his character had died and she won. 
“I meant you’re here all the time already. You’d be here even if they didn’t do that thing. The only girls who show up are like that–”
“Wow. Woooow , Kook, you’re really going for asshole today, huh?”
He rolled his eyes and leaned against the machine console, not even bothering to watch her play out the remainder of her lives because she’d just kicked his ass at this game, “I mean that the only girls who give a shit about unlimited game cards at the arcade are…”
She aimed the machine gun at him and made her own sound effects on top of the game. 
He rolled his eyes, “I’m shredded and my muscles are made of Vibranium so that’s just bouncing off me–”
“How do you manage to hide what a loser you are from so many women ?” she cried. Her turn wasn’t over but she was bored of the game now and slid the gun back into the holster. It didn’t matter anyway since her game card was unlimited. “And why are you being so sulky tonight? Are you shriveling up from lack of pussy juice? Is that the problem?”
“No,” he glared. “I’m just bored. We haven’t done anything new lately. I need to meet new people.”
“Ah, fresh blood.”
“Virgins? Fine–”
“Oh is that the secret to your hairless baby face?” she asked, reaching up to slap her hand along his jaw. He hated references to his lack of facial hair. Ever since Taehyung had grown a hot little brush and gotten so much attention for it, Jungkook had complained about it. Only Alex had gotten to see him try twice to grow something and it was so patchy and uneven and yuck looking that she’d taken to calling him Pedo –and accidentally in front of his parents. Oops. “All that virginal pussy juice–”
“Virgins don’t usually let you put your face there,” he corrected. 
“You can’t just talk about virgins like they’re some monolithic group,” Alex argued. “Literally all of us are born virgins.”
Jungkook let out a deep sigh and threw his arm around her shoulder, “But only some of you are so blessed to also die one.”
“I’m not a virgin you dick,” she growled and tried to kick him again but since his arm was around her, it gave him too much warning and he ducked away laughing. Of course he knew she wasn’t a virgin though. He, unfortunately, knew pretty much every sordid detail of her previous sexual encounters –one a first awkward boyfriend who’d lasted two months and the other a second date mistake. Mistake! It had been a mistake. Maybe if she hadn’t done it she would have gotten a third date but Jungkook had confidently assured her it was doomed either way. Cool. He insisted he meant that to be reassuring.
Just as easily conversation slid away from sex and Jungkook’s complaints that their dating pool was growing stagnant and instead to shit-talking each other about whether to do basketball or air hockey next. 
“I don’t think you’re ready for air hockey yet,” she told him. “Let’s start with basketball.”
“But I always kick your ass at basketball and then you get all lame and sulky.”
“I do not!”
“Yeah you do and it’s wildly unappealing,” he taunted. “Why do you even challenge me? You’re like three feet tall, obviously you will never beat me at basketball.”
“Uh, Jimin is shorter than you and left you in the dust at basketball,” she pointed out.
Jungkook rolled his eyes, “He fucking did not, he just got lucky that one time and he played on a team as a kid. I didn’t.”
“You were too busy skateboarding,” she snickered. “So cool.”
“Uh, I was super cool.”
“No. You weren’t.”
“Uh, you need me to start listing off girls who think it’s cool?”
“I’m well aware a lot of my gender has glitter glue for brains and gets easily blinded by dimples and a flat stomach–”
“Abs,” he interrupted. “I have abs .”
“For a couple of days you did– but hey, baby ,” she teased him, “I like you better fed anyway. You know that’s the one thing my mom and I agree on. ‘You are too skinny!’” she cried, mimicking the way her mom said it every time Jungkook was in the vicinity, usually moments before plying him with food he could simply not refuse. Not that he ever did refuse. But at twenty-five, he was already complaining that he was growing out of the metabolism needed to survive her mom’s cooking –noodles, buns, lots of sauces, rice, every Chinese delicacy she could think of to fatten Jungkook up. This had been going on since they’d become friends like fifteen years ago. “And also you’re an asshole when you’re hangry.” She reached down to tap her card against the slot to join as Player Two.
“Girls think it’s cool I skate,” he said, gaze fixed on the flashing lights as they counted down to the start of the competition.
“To fuck, not to date or, god forbid, marry.”
He flashed her his most charming smile, “Good thing I don’t want to marry them either.”
“Yeah, regular intimacy with someone who cares about your pleasure and sees you as more than a sex toy that squirts, what a nightmare!”
He shrugged, “It’s different for guys. It’s hard to get a girl off if you don’t know what she likes but I’m getting off no matter what so… regular intimacy not needed.”
“Do you seriously–” The buzzer to begin was painfully loud. Jungkook had already sunk a basket by the time she got a ball in hand. 
The game went exactly as he had predicted, unfortunately. It was true, Alex had never come close to beating him at basketball and probably never would. She had played on a team for two years in middle school and still tried to insist that meant she could compete with him, because he’d never played! But he’d just like learned shooting skills by proximity. In junior high he’d come over and they’d shoot hoops and it was pretty even. But she quit when sports got serious at school, and he played tennis to avoid team sports, and somehow those two facts meant his shooting skills zoomed up from hers as much as his height did. 
“Did you really just try to pretend you squirt? There’s no way you squirt.”
“ What ?!”
“You said you’re more than a fuck toy that–”
“What the fuck, dude? I meant you! You squirt out… stuff– Only difference between you and a dildo–”
“Stuff!” he repeated, howling with laughter. “My sperm is not just any stuff .”
“Please don’t scream that word in the middle of the arcade–”
“Well I just kicked your ass as basketball so I think now you have to buy me a slice of pizza–”
“Uh, I beat your ass at the shooting game before this and you didn’t buy me shit.”
“Aleeeeex,” he whined. “I’m hungry. Feed me.”
“Fuck no. You didn’t state your terms before basketball. But I’m happy to take you up on that challenge now with some hockey–”
“Ya! Last time you went right for my balls!”
“I don’t aim for your balls,” Alex huffed. “You’re just bad at defending them. Which is insane considering how much you talk and think about them.”
“I’m really attached to them–”
“Eww, gross, get a better sense of humor.”
“Too hot to bother with that.”
She laughed and shoved his arm. It sucked that Jungkook actually was the funniest guy she’d ever known. It really wasn’t fair to have grown up into looking like that and be able to charm your way through basically any social encounter with a woman and be able to chill and impress most men too and be really funny. Really poked a hole in the whole God doesn’t have favorites idea because Jungkook was clearly one of them. But she couldn’t quit him because there was no one in the world who appreciated her own humor the way he did. The two of them were too fucking funny to ever break up. Besides, if she got a new roommate it would probably be a girl and they probably wouldn’t buy such oversized shirts that were so easy to just steal and wear and then panic because she got food stains on them and then enlist her sister’s help to fix them and then sneak them back into the laundry. That panic was basically her cardio every week!
“Tell you what… I’ll go easy on you,” she offered as they settled at opposite ends of the air hockey table.
“I’m going to fucking kill you,” he mumbled, veering instantly into that overcompetitive space where he failed to realize the things he said were terrible to anyone else. Of course Alex knew that was just his pre-injured pride talking. Because even if she went easy on him, she was going to crush him. That was true most of the time, certainly enough to give her the confidence to do a pre-victory dance, wriggling her arms and crouching down and swaying side to side to intimidate him.
“Not at air hockey though,” she taunted.
The thing about air hockey though was that it was very important to them. It played a part in their history a lot. They’d actually gotten banned playing it at another place because they were so aggressive. Jungkook had also met an early hookup once when the puck had hit a girl on the shoulder and he’d insisted he buy her a drink to apologize –that had been lame because they’d been in the middle of a game and Alex wound up having to take the train home on her own. Sometimes his addiction to women was a little annoying…
But they hadn’t gotten kicked out from here! Yet! 
“How the hell do you do that?” he complained as the puck managed to ricochet from his mallet to the wall and into his own goal before he could even twitch. 
“You’re too jumpy,” she told him. “You try to overmuscle it. It’s an air hockey puck. You have to be gentle . Caress. Be one with the puck.”
“Puck you.”
“God your humor is rancid tonight!” she laughed. “Aren’t you embarrassed?”
“Nah, saving my good humor for –fuck!” he cried and spun away from the table, clutching his cheek where the puck had just flipped up.
“That wasn’t my fault!” Alex immediately defended. 
“You hit that thing like 50 miles per hour!”
“With these dumpling arms?!”
“Yeah how the hell?”
“Oh my god though did it seriously break your face? It’s your fault! You pinched it against the wall! I’ve told you that’s not a valid defense move!”
He kept whining so she went around the table, motioning, “Ok, bend down, beanpole, let me see.”
He leaned down just a little as she reached for his face –only to yank away just as she touched his cheek, grab the puck, and shoot it straight across the table.
“Motherfucker!”
“Mother fucker !” he yelled too because the puck hadn’t gone in, even unguarded. She collapsed against the table laughing, sliding her way back to her space as he cursed the universe and the gods. 
“Yeah serves you right for cheating, asshole!”
“I would never cheat! You hit me in the face! Abusive!”
“Your own muscles betrayed you, that was your own damn fault.”
“Bullshit!”
The game was a foregone conclusion from that point. Even Alex stopped playing as well just because they were too busy laughing. Jungkook had gotten himself too worked up and wound up knocking the puck into his own goal twice. To taunt him, Alex gave him another chance for a free goal, lifted her arms up, and he actually made it that time, but it was too late. Alex had won, fair and square, even with his attempts to cheat.
“I think you broke my cheek,” he complained as they walked away to find something else to play.
“Shit, no! Did I really? You’re fucked! Your personality is way too shitty to survive as an uggo!”
“Alex,” he complained and backhanded her directly in the boob.
“My tit!”
“No, my face! No one cares about your tits!”
They laughed and stumbled along for a moment, bumping into each other in the direction of more of the regular machines, ignoring and ignored by other arcade go-ers on a Thursday night. 
But Alex got the prickles on the back of her neck that someone was watching them and whirled around, ready to tell off whoever was being weird.
Except it was Hoseok.
She nearly tripped over her feet and fell ass over head to the floor but caught herself on Jungkook’s arm, performing a weird twisting maneuver that might possibly have won her gold at a free skate. Confused, Jungkook thankfully dragged her back the right way on her feet. Unfortunately the klutzery was still all witnessed by Hoseok, without a doubt, because he gave a bright smile as he walked over –though first Alex did glance over her shoulder, certain Hoseok must actually be smiling like the sun at someone else.
“Alex Song,” he greeted, removing most of the doubt that he had noticed and approached her. 
“Hi, Hoseok Jung.” Fuck, that was awkward. He’d used her full name so she’d used his too but it sounded awkward when she did it. He sounded hot and playful. To cover it, she added, “Your cheekbones look especially sharp today.”
Fuck! That was not how you spoke to someone in corporate!! Even a cool someone in corporate!
Hoseok laughed and touched his face as though checking for himself, as if he wasn’t born with the opportunity to feel up his own face every morning. God, what Alex wouldn’t give to be able to feel up his face every morning.
“That was an intense game of air hockey,” he said, smooth as butter in covering her shitty socialization skills. 
“Oh! You um, saw that… hey I didn’t know you like arcades…” She looked around wildly, reassuring herself she was in fact still in the arcade and trying not to totally melt into panic at the fact that not only was Hoseok here, he had seen her juvenile, taunting game of air hockey with Jungkook. At least she’d won, but–
“Ah I’m not great at games but I’m here with my–
Girlfriend , he was obviously going to say. 
“Your girlfriend? She must be nice.”
“My sister,” he corrected, motioning over his shoulder. “She’s terrible at games too but she’s an influencer and they wanted her to take photos on Instagram and…” Alex’s gaze followed his gesture to see two young women, one leaning dramatically against a pinball machine while the other took her photo. 
Without thinking about it, she elbowed Jungkook in the ribs, “Influencers! See! They’re doing more than just ladies night!”
“Ow! I guess…”
Before she could say anything else, he held his hand out to Jungkook, introducing, “Sorry to be rude, I’m Hoseok Jung, I work with Alex–”
“He’s my brother,” Alex blurted out, grabbing Jungkook’s arm before he could shake Hoseok’s hand and shoving it away. This confused Hoseok; it flickered across his beautiful face before the smile returned.
“Ah. Her brother,” Jungkook agreed. His lips pursed into a line and Alex knew she was in for shit later. “We live together. We don’t really get along but we come here on Thursday nights to appease our overbearing parents who always dreamed of siblings who’d get along.”
“I see…” Hoseok said. Confusion returned. Fuck. Fuck, he was going to think they were dating. Wait, would it make him jealous– no, of course it wouldn’t make Hoseok Jung jealous.He had literally no concept of being jealous of Alex. 
“Hoseok works in corporate,” Alex quickly offered to continue to try to smooth out the steaming piles of horse shit being dumped onto her head right now. “He does training and–”
“Actually, I’m changing positions.”
Positions . She bet he knew lots of positions. She didn’t know any! Well, ok, like two…
“To what?” she asked, realizing this might mean he was moving away, or moving into a capacity where she wouldn’t ever see him. Right now the times he came by the store were equal parts joy for her and terror for everyone else, even though Hoseok was always nice and not really in a scary corporate position. It was still a visit from corporate, even if the corporate guy was hot and nice and funny and playful…
“We’re opening a new location over on Ash Boulevard. I’m transferring over to be the assistant store manager. I want to open my own someday.”
“Oh! Right, that’s opening soon, isn’t it?” This was baffling to her. Usually people wanted to move into corporate, not out . 
“Yeah! I’ve missed being in the stores. Corporate was great but I don’t think it’s where I’m happiest,” he continued, “so I'm really excited about it. Kind of scared too, though, it’ll be a lot of work but I hope I do well.”
“Obviously you’ll do well.” 
 “Well I need good staff and we’re still selecting so uh.. Don’t tell Dan I said this but if you want to transfer… I’ll put you at head of the line.” He smiled and winked. 
Alex laughed. Not a sexy cool laugh, not even a flattered laugh because that was actually really flattering for him to encourage her to change to his store –but not surprising if she was honest, because she was a fucking badass shift lead and she got shit done with a smile on her face even when she wanted to murder those around her! But she laughed because he’d winked at her and every nerve between her knees and her scalp shot off fireworks. Anyone else winking would have been creepy and wrong but a wink from Hoseok was just so friendly . So kind! So not sexually interested in her. Sob.
“Thanks, I’ll think about it…” If she transferred, she could see him all the time! If she transferred, she’d have to see him all the time, and those fantasies of him taking her in the stock room would be completely out of the realm of possibility because a shift lead and an assistant store manager at the same store was strictly not ok. As opposed to now when they were just 99.47% outside of the realm of possibility. There was always the possibility of a doomsday scenario where they were the last two people on earth and tasked with repopulating…
“Hm, Dan runs a good store, I see why you might not want to leave… who knows if I’ll be any good at it but… I think we’ll do great.”
“I think so too!” she said, matching his sunny tone. She didn’t have to look to know Jungkook was having a hard time controlling his facial expressions beside her. 
“Hobi!” his sister called and he turned before sighing, “I guess I better get back to her… Maybe next time I can challenge you to something in here that’s not as intense as air hockey.”
“She’s ruthless at all games, I should warn you,” Jungkook interjected. “Laugh and dance on the graves of her enemies kind of–”
“Shut up,” she hissed, elbowing him. It seemed unlikely Hoseok would find that kind of thing appealing.
He laughed, “Oh no, I probably won’t put up much of a challenge then…” She wanted to die. No, first she wanted to murder Jungkook and then die.
“We can see next time,” she offered. “We could do a co-op game like the Jurassic Park ride or something…”
“Yeah! You seem like a good person to be on a team with.” Flattering? Friendzone? Coworker zone? Subordinate employee zone? Alex basked in the pain of them all and nodded dumbly as Hoseok said goodbye and returned to his sister and her friend, both looking pretty bored to be there and eager to move on. His sister must have said something teasing because Hoseok shook his head and waved his hand at her before disappearing.
Alex didn’t even look at Jungkook, just tried to simultaneously shove her hand in his face and flee. She needed a moment without his taunting because an encounter with Hoseok Jung left you disoriented for at least a few hours. Discombobulated. Flustered. She was giddy when he focused any of his attention on her when he came by the store and now she’d actually spoken directly with him for a few minutes outside of work! Even better/worse, it had happened because he recognized and approached her! She wanted to live in this moment without Jungkook saying something stupid. And she needed Hoseok to leave the arcade before she murdered her best friend because that didn’t seem like Hosok’s vibe –although he’d probably be very useful in a body-disposal scenario.
But Jungkook followed her, bumping against her shoulder as he said, “Ok, as your brother I have a question–”
“Shhhh,” she held up her finger but missed covering his mouth and instead just jabbed him in the chin. “Please let me enjoy this for a moment before you ruin it–”
“Enjoy what ? Why is a superior winking at you? That seems like a really inappropriate–”
“ Shhhhhh ,” she shushed more harshly. Eyes closed. Picturing the two of them at one of the machines, her standing behind with her arms around him, teaching him how to hold the gun. Ok, she’d have to stand on a stool or something but… romantic… the sexual tension distacting them both from the game… Hoseok suddenly spinning and taking her into his arms and pressing her against the console… the lights and sounds of the arcade dimming because he just couldn’t resist her any longer and needed to take her now –
“Alex Xiuying Song what the fuck is going on in your head right now? You look like an overripe tomato–”
“I do not!” she shouted and the frustrated, embarrassed energy exploded into her punching his arm multiple times. It just made him laugh and twist her into a headlock that made her squawk and thrash until he pushed her towards a machine.
“So who the fuck is that guy? Hoseok? Sounds Korean but–”
“He is Korean,” she sniffed, lifting her nose, as if that made him better than Jungkook… who was also Korean.
“Then why is his hair blonde? The fuck he think he is, an idol or something?”
“He has blonde hair because he’s beautiful,” she glared at him, “and he can pull of literally any hair color in the world. Like there’s not a color on the planet that wouldn’t be blessed to adorn his head–”
Jungkook started to ugly laugh, “What the fuck are you saying right now?”
“Shut up, ok? Just shut up and let me… he’s…. Ahhhhhhh and he talked to me first!”
“Wait. Wait wait,” Jungkook said, stopping just before he’d tapped his card to the console of House of the Dead. “Are you saying you like that guy? Because that would explain all your weird squid behavior right now but–”
“I’m not a squid!”
“You just had like a full on weirdo meltdown in front of him and I thought you were just nervous because he’s a big shot at work but–”
“He is a big shot at work,” she sighed. “He’s so competent at his job and so sexy walking around with a clipboard and–”
“You’re kidding me.”
“Do I like him… Ha! HA! Did you see his perfect face? That elegant nose… those chiseled cheekbones… those perfectly manicured eyebrows.”
“I… you’re being serious right now?”
“Are you saying you didn’t notice those things?”
“No? He just looks like some guy to me and like… you’re serious right now? That’s your type?”
“What does that mean! That’s my type? Yeah that’s my type! He’s kind and funny and charming and stunning– why are you looking at me like that! What I’m saying is objectively true!”
“I…” His head tilted to the side like a puppy dog as he studied the carpet for a moment before pressing, “So you like… want to hold his hand? Or you want to fuck him?”
“Um, both , obviously? Why are you being so weird about this?”
“No! No, it’s just…” She was surprised now by the sincerity on his face. Sincere confusion. “Honestly I kind of thought you were asexual.”
“Huh?!”
“It’s fine if you are!” he quickly insisted, hands held up in defense. “Obviously. I mean I’ve thought all this time you are–”
“You know all about the times I’ve had sex!” Unfortunately.
“Yeah and you had a terrible time and didn’t enjoy it at all so– I thought you just felt pressured–”
“Well yeah but… but because I’m awkward and it was bad not because… I don’t like… want sex!” She dropped her voice at the last second as several kids ran by. “Just because I don’t live and die by where I can stick my dick today–”
“You don’t even go on about hot guys in movies or anything. I mean rarely–”
“That’s because Hollywood is trash and just chooses boring ass white boys for their leads all the time and I can barely tell them apart. But like the things I would let Richard Ayoade do on my face–”
“You’re crazy,” he laughed. “That guy? And Hoseok? Are you sure you’re not just like… desperately reaching for what society tells you that you need to be fulfilled– ‘cause look, I think sex is the bomb but it’s really not like emotionally fulfilling or I wouldn’t need to have it all the time–”
“Woah,” she gasped. “Are you… self-reflecting?! What’s that like for you? Is that scary? I’d be scared looking too closely at what’s in your brain–”
“Yeah and what’s in your brain?! All this time I thought…”
“Are you serious? You really thought I’m– I’m just awkward! Not ace! Not that there’s anything wrong with being ace but–”
“Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It’s totally cool if you are.”
“I can’t believe this though. You’re like my best friend and you thought I was… shit. Shit! No wonder I can't get any dick! Am I putting out ace vibes?! Fuck!”
“Yeah well… Or maybe lesbian? I mean you should probably just directly let that guy know you want to fuck him,” Jungkook snickered, finally tapping his card and motioning for her to do the same. 
“Yeah fucking right. I’m going to go to that guy and ask for– are you fucking insane?” 
“Actually I’m a little rattled right now. All this time I thought–”
“Trust me, I want to get spit-roasted by Manny Jacinto and–”
“Yeah ok, I get it.”
“Wait… are you going to be weird suddenly? All this time you thought–”
“No I’m not going to be weird I just think you should be careful about getting spit-roasted, you’re really little and not very flexible and you’ve got that overactive gag-reflex. Like how many times did you puke on your orthodontist–”
“I hate you!” she cried and kicked the back of his knee. Since his attention was on the screen, he had no warning and went down. It was glorious. 
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Jimin’s engagement party was extravagant, crowded, and also incredibly awkward, considering the mixing of groups. Jimin’s and the bride’s parents, both well connected and with a large guestlist of their own, greeted and praised and cast derisive looks at Jimin’s and In’am’s friends. 
“We aren’t even doing anything wrong!” Alex huffed, elbowing Taehyung to get around him to the buffet table. “Is that… tul? Baba ganoush?
“That’s tabouleh,” In’am corrected, suddenly at her elbow, “And you’re a disgrace. I mean, sorry, I think that’s what my parents keep telling me so it’s just etched into my brain–”
“Inny no!” Alex frowned. “You aren’t a disgrace.” Part of her brain thought she ought to give In’am a hug, but considering the likely cost of the sparkly dress she was wearing and that Alex was not a big hugger, she decided against it. Only belatedly did she realize she was also holding a plate of food and likely would have dumped it right down the back of the bride-to-be.
“The shit I’m getting for having a buffet table instead of tailed waiters or a seated dinner…”
“You’re doing great,” Taehyung assured her, sliding his arm around her shoulder. He was always comfortable and easy and cool. Alex would take her former crush on him to the grave, especially now that she knew Jungkook had spent all this time thinking she didn’t have a sexual bone in her body. Fucking ouch . She almost blurted that out now, desperate for their disagreement, but thankfully stopped herself. Taehyung and In’am were too cool; if they agreed she would stab herself with a fork in the middle of this luncheon. Then Im’an’s and Jimin’s parents would really disapprove of their friends, though at least she’d be done away with…
“You’re slow,” Jungkook complained, kicking her ankle. “Is it because you’re wearing a skirt?”
“Um, I wear skirts and dresses,” she glared. He’d already bullied her that morning when she’d come out of the bedroom wearing this dress. It was a nice dress! Maybe not as pricey or nice as what In’am and her family were wearing but…
Jungkook was piling his plate high, so Alex hurried along, looking uncomfortably away when Jimin came over to retrieve In’am with a hand on her waist and a kiss to her neck. 
“You’re going to piss off your parents,” Jungkook snickered.
“That’s the point,” Jimin sang, and dragged In’am away. In’am didn’t look as pleased about his stance and Alex sympathized with her. As much as she might in theory want to piss off her parents, in practice she’d want their approval. Thank fuck her parents were pretty awesome for the most part. Like somehow her mom had said Jungkook’s eyebrow piercing was “charming”? The fuck? But not for her, there would definitely be daughtercide if she came home with a pierced eyebrow. Probably not any guy she brought home either. Jungkook just got to live in a blessed golden bubble for some reason. Jungkook’s own parents had not been happy about it.
“If their parents are paying for the wedding, they probably shouldn’t bait them,” Sabina mused. Her hand touched Taehyung’s back lightly as he showed her he had filled his plate for both of them. Disgusting. Love. Ugh. She could never.
She followed Jungkook’s also-single back to the table they had left their jackets and bags at earlier to claim. Rude? None of them cared, they just wanted this particular table which would let them watch all the drama without having to participate in anything. There were supposed to be speeches at one point and Jimin had asked Jungkook to make one and he’d agreed, to Alex’s shock. But then of course he’d made her help him write it and listen to him practice, because he hated public speaking like that. She still didn’t understand why he’d agreed to do it.
But it wasn’t speech time just yet, just eating and mingling. Alex didn’t want to mingle. She turned to Jungkook to make some joke about how he’d never have an engagement party when she saw someone who made her gasp and dive behind Jungkook.
“The fuck are you doing?”
“Fuck, he’s here.”
“Who’s here?”
“ Yoongi. ”
“Her ex,” Taehyung explained to Sabina.
Jungkook snorted, “Barely. If you count three weeks as an ex–”
“It was longer than that! Like two months!”
“You didn’t date him for two months, stop lying.”
“It was enough –”
“It’s an emotional decision,” Sabrina interrupted, waving her hand dismissively at Jungkook. “If she feels like they’re exes–”
“We’re exes. Shit, don’t let him see me.”
“He doesn’t care.”
“ I   care. Shit. I forgot he and Jimin are still friends…”
“How did you forget that?”
“Well our circles don’t cross!” Alex defended. “Fuck. Now I need a date to the wedding…”
Sabrina shook her head, “Uh uh, it doesn’t mean that. I mean you can get a date if you want but you are perfect even solo and you don’t need to change for any man.”
“Yeah. Plus I doubt Yoongi is going to pay any attention,” Taehyung added, earning a nod from Jungkook and a scathing glare from Alex.
“It’s not just about him though, it’s about…” She trailed off as Yoongi turned, a woman’s hand running up his arm and touching his chest, clearly intimate. The light caught a very large jewel on her finger. “He’s married ?! Fuck, now I really can’t go single–”
“It doesn’t matter–” Sabina tried to insist while Jungkook snickered, “You can’t change who you are, Turtle, don’t worry about it.”
“Don’t call me Turtle!”
“Yeah it’s not like you can get a fiance by the time of the wedding,” Taehyung agreed.
Sabina sighed, “Plus it doesn’t matter . You’re living your best life solo.”
“Yeah, it’s not about that, it’s about appearances. If I can’t even find a date to a wedding– oh!” She slapped Jungkook’s arm. “You can be my date!”
“No thanks.”
“Shut up, you’re going with me. It’s not like you have a girlfriend to bother taking.”
“Yeah, but Yoongi knows we’re just friends so that doesn’t prove anything to him. Besides, I’ll be making my own plans…”
“You don’t have a girlfriend,” Alex said again.
“Yeah, I don’t want a girl to take, I want a girl to leave with…”
“Oh come on, it’s your friends’ wedding,” Alex frowned. “Can’t you think about something else for one night?”
Jungkook gave her a baffled look and demanded, “Why? It’s a wedding . They’re notorious for one night stands. Jimin and In’am know a lot of hot single women–”
“Haven’t you slept with most of them by now?” she snapped. 
Now it was Jungkook’s turn to glare as he defended, “Most of them? No. And sorry if I don’t want to be your pity date–”
“You aren’t a pity date. I’m the pity date! I just don’t want to go to Jimin’s wedding alone. You can still meet someone else–”
“I’m a groomsman. It’s not the same look if I roll into the wedding with a date on my arm.”
Alex gave Taehyung and Sabina an incredulous look and held her hand out, begging for them to agree with her. She was getting flushed now, annoyed by Jungkook’s blunt rejection. She wasn’t asking him to be her fake boyfriend or anything, she just wanted someone to sit with and dance with. So they were friends, that was fine! But it would be a visual credibility to anyone –like Yoongi– who might look over and think Oh, she’s the kind of girl who can find a date to a wedding no problem, huh? Maybe I was wrong about her…
“You’re getting all pissy,” Jungkook laughed. “Why?”
“I’m just asking you for a favor–”
“A favor you don’t need. Yoongi probably doesn’t even remember you.”
She couldn’t help arguing, “Uh, the sex was bad enough he definitely remembers me.” She meant it as a joke. A joke to save her dignity from this rejection. It was the wrong kind of joke to save her dignity. No one even laughed, which made it worse.
“Let’s see,” Jungkook suggested, raising his hand to wave him over. Alex practically tackled him, and Jungkook laughed. “Chill out, Alex. It’s not a big deal.”
“It is to me!”
“If she wants a date, she should have a date,” Sabina tried.
“Sure. Why don’t you ask that Hoseok guy you like?”
Alex sighed, “Because a wedding isn’t a good first date? And I don’t know him that well? And I have no reason to believe he’d say yes?”
“You asked me knowing I wouldn’t say yes,” Jungkook pointed out. But his teasing smile was too much this time. He was being an asshole. She wasn’t asking for much. They were friends; couldn’t friends help each other out in a pinch? So what if he didn’t care, or Yoongi didn’t care, she cared! She’d feel better having fun with her friend at a wedding, though realized now Jungkook was being upfront that he’d be bailing on her anyway.
“I can’t believe you’re so obsessed with pussy you can’t even be a good friend,” she snapped, grabbing her plate up. “You can’t even turn it off for one night to have fun with friends at your friend’s wedding? That’s insane. You should get help.”
“What the fuck, Alex–”
She promptly stomped off, not interested in anything else he had to say. If his answer was really a no, he could have least been less of an idiot about it but… but why couldn’t it be a yes? Just for Jimin’s wedding? Could he really not cool his dick for one wedding to spend time with her?
But no, apparently not! Because as she stomped off fuming, she began to think about their friendship and how one-sided it was. Were they really friends at all? Or were they just roommates and he played along when it served him –like how she managed all the apartment bills and did most of the grocery shopping– and peaced out the second she actually asked him for anything? 
“He’s a bad friend!” she cried, slamming her plate down on an unoccupied table.
“You ok?”
FUCK Yoongi.
She’d recognize his voice until the day she died probably, as the only guy she had anything close to a real relationship with. Short but devastating. She hadn’t known shit about what she was doing and they weren’t well matched and it was just all a mistake, her fault. Definitely her fault.
“Hey,” she said, dragging the word out awkwardly as she turned.
“Hi, Alex.”
“Yoongi, hey.”
“How’s it going? I haven’t seen you in years. This is my fiance, Raquel.”
“Hi, Raquel.” Alex almost blurted out that she was an old… but what? God, if she said she was an old girlfriend and Yoongi corrected her, she’d explode in a cloud of dust and shame. 
“So nice to finally meet you, Alex,” Raquel said. To finally meet you . Suddenly Alex could tell she was painfully correct and Jungkook was wrong. Yoongi had told this pretty, sophisticated woman he was marrying all about the mortifying ordeal that had been Alex Song.
Yoongi smoothly added, “I told her about that music festival we went to–”
“Oh god,” Alex sighed, covering her face. The drugs she and Yoongi had done at that 2 day festival had objectively been what led to them even dating in the first place. They’d sat at the back of the field, eyes closed, swaying to the music. He’d taken her hand. He probably regretted that a lot later.
“Not ‘oh god,’ it was cool. Maybe we did a little too much recreational…” he admitted, trailing off and giving Raquel a sheepish smile as she arched her eyebrow. “But Alex saved our asses because none of us even knew how to put a tent up and no one brought sunscreen or food…”
That was not what she had expected he would tell Raquel…
“I was at a show in Austin one year,” Raquel told Alex. “Three day concert. Rained the whole time.  It was too muddy to put up tents. We bailed on day one but cars couldn’t even get down the road so we had to walk miles… now I can remember it fondly but also… youth, right?”
Yoongi laughed and nodded, “Yeah, I couldn’t put myself through that again. There are better ways to hear music that don’t leave me covered in bug bites and sunburned… but I’m glad I did those things when I was younger.” He paused and looked at Alex with what she felt like was a strange look before asking, “What have you been up to? I hear little things through Jimin but–”
“Oh, not much,” Alex insisted, instantly awkward. “Still working at the coffee shop. Still going to three-day music shows in the summer and stuff…” Even though you both are too old and boring for them now and probably a lot more in charge of your lives and, like, engaged to be married and stuff.
“Are you still rooming with Jungkook?”
“Yeah…”
“Did he ever learn to load the dishwasher?” Yoongi asked, then explained to Raquel, “I swear I showed him twice because Alex was the only one doing it, and her roommate Jungkook tried to say he did all the dishes…” Oops . Alex had made a point at the time of always loading the dishwasher when Yoongi was over to make it look like she was more competent than she was. She’d looked so good at the music festival, but it was just dumb luck that she was the only one of her friends who’d gone to that kind of thing before and knew the right things to bring. Jimin had brought Yoongi, who Alex had only met a couple times before, and she had somehow… impressed him? So obviously she had to keep the lie up…
“A good roommate is hard to find,” Raquel sympathized. “He’s going to have a hard time finding a girlfriend if he’s lazy like that.”
“Yeah, he’s, um, better now, I guess… you know, people change… I mean, not me much, I’m still pretty much the same as always!” she laughed awkwardly.
There was an awkward beat, and then Yoongi said, “That’s cool. Some things change, some stay the same.”
“Uh huh.”
“Nice to meet you, Alex. We can catch up more later, I’d love to hear any stories you have of Yoongi–”
“All right, bye,” Yoongi said, interrupting Raquel. He steered her away with an arm around her waist, and waved at Alex over her shoulder. It was smooth and cool, just like he’d always been. God. It was inevitable that wouldn’t have worked, but it made it all even more mortifying that she’d had a chance and just been so… bleh. Awkward. Uncomfortable. She had tried too hard and not tried hard enough simultaneously. It was kind of unbelievable to look at Yoongi walking off with this cool-looking fiance and believe she had dated him for like seven whole weeks. They’d had sex! Even though she was really bad at it! He’d been nice but obviously not impressed…
And now she was “same ol’ Alex” who Yoongi wasn’t even threatened telling his fiance about. Why would he be? She still worked at Starbucks. She still lived with Jungkook. The greatest things Yoongi knew about her were lies and luck. 
“Hey.”
She turned around again, annoyed this time because she’d shoved a spoonful of cold food into her mouth. Jungkook stood there, looking displeased.
“Just come back to the table with everyone, ok?”
“No, you’re being a dick.”
“Because I won’t go to the wedding with you? You can find another date, it’s not for months.”
She glared at him, “Yeah? Can I? You’re so sure?”
“Sure I’m sure. You’re great. Who wouldn’t want to go with you?”
“You, apparently.”
He let out a deep sigh, then said, “Look. It’s not like you asked me because you want to go with me, you just don’t want to go alone. I think you’ll be happier if you try to find a date you actually want to take.”
“Yeah that’s so easy–”
“I can help you. And if it doesn’t work, we can go as friends.”
She paused, because he’d basically just agreed to what she wanted and she didn’t trust that. Did he realize he had just agreed to what she wanted?
“What’s that look? You don’t believe me?”
“No I don’t believe you! You just gave me a whole spiel about how that’s a terrible idea because it could stand in the way of your holy grail–”
“Yeah, so I’ll be extra motivated to help you find a date.”
“A good date,” she clarified. “Not like–”
He actually sounded annoyed as he said, “Come on, Alex. I wouldn’t set you up with just anyone.”
“Hm.” That was kinda sweet and soothed her hurt ego. He rolled his eyes at her expression as she considered this. “Fine. You can help me find a better date, otherwise you’re my last resort.”
“Gee, thanks, but fine. Now come back.”
“Why, does Sabina think you were being an asshole?”
“Yeah, and I wouldn’t care but Taehyung thinks so too and then they told Jimin and In’am about it and In’am gave me that look —”
“I would expect you were far more used to that kind of look by now.”
Jungkook picked her plate up for her to hurry her along and scoffed, “What are you talking about? Women think I’m adorable. I mean, the kind of women who want what I’m selling. In’am is not one of those women.”
“Taken?”
“I know which trees not to sniff up, and it’s one of many reasons I’m as successful as I am.”
“In pussy business.”
They’d been walking by some of In’am’s family, who spun and gave them a wild look.
“Fuck…”
“If you get us kicked out before I even get an intro to–”
“You already saw someone you’re interested in?!”
“I didn’t plan on it but it is a party,” Jungkook pointed out. “Oh come on…”
“Just make sure it’s not a bridesmaid you’re going to have to work with on wedding stuff for the next six months…”
It was a bridesmaid. That didn’t bother Jungkook, and he’d convinced her to sneak off before the end of the party. Which was fine, but sometimes it sucked getting left behind. Like couldn’t he not fuck someone for once? So she didn’t have to bum a ride off one of their other friends?
She definitely needed to find a better date than Jungkook for the wedding. 
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“What about him?” 
Alex leaned over but shook her head and pulled away.
Jungkook sighed, “Ok, what about–”
“Nooo, stop showing me pictures,” she complained. She balled up the boxers she’d pulled from the basket and chucked them at his face. 
Usually he would retaliate by slingshotting a pair of her panties back at her, but that would require dropping his phone and losing his place in this “Follows” list. 
“So you want me to just… pick? Traditional but ok–”
“No, I don’t trust you to just pick for me!” she glared at him. “But why are we already talking about this? It’s too early.”
“It might take some time…”
“Asshole.”
“No!” he laughed. “I meant because you’re being so damn choosy!” He scrolled down, paused and clicked on Nick’s profile but… nah, he wasn’t right for Alex, even as a wedding date.
“Yeah because it’s my friend’s wedding! I don’t want to show up with some rando as my blind date.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just a wedding date. This would be a lot easier if you’d just be chill–”
“If you tell me to be chill I will strangle you with your own fucking tube sock,” she threatened.
He just rolled his eyes, “Your puny little hands couldn’t tie that around my throat.”
“I’d stuff it down your throat.”
“I’d like to see you try.”
She launched herself forward, sock in hand, and did her best. Alex had weight to her but it definitely wasn’t enough to budge him when he was sitting on the ground. She tried to use her leg to keep his hand away but Jungkook had done too many years of martial arts to be even a little bothered. He just rolled forward, swept her legs to the side so she splatted on her back, and then pressed her arms down at her sides. 
“Now put the sock in your mouth.”
“Fuck no.”
“Put it in your mouth, I won.”
“I’m not putting your damn stinky sock in my mouth!”
He paused for a moment. Definitely a familiar position for him, but not exactly with Alex. She looked up at him with that challenging glare and he realized maybe he had been a little bossier than he should be with her… and in that position with him towering over like that… She was short. He wasn’t such an asshole that he didn’t know that could make small girls uncomfortable. 
This was, in fact, the most compromising position he’d ever had Alex in. They didn’t really wrestle, though poking, hitting, kicking, and pinching were all common. 
So he almost said a few things at once. “Do it now,” because that’s what he would say to a girl he was going to fuck and they were in the position. “You’re so small,” because she was and always whined and kicked him when he made fun of her for being so small because apparently she thought you could only be small if you were also skinny. She wasn’t skinny but she was short and that still equaled small. And “you’re lucky I’m not going to actually make you lick my sock, you turd,” because that’s what a good friend would say.
Instead what he said was, “Lucky,” and then pushed off of her. 
Of course she wouldn’t drop it and immediately demanded, “I’m lucky? Lucky for what? Lucky you just shattered my leg bones sitting on me like that? I think I need to go to the hospital–”
“Lucky you have me to help you find this date,” Jungkook said and picked up his phone again. Her hair stuck out every which way as she sat up and pushed her glasses back up her nose. He couldn’t help but laugh at the static and reached out to brush it down, but she punched his hand away and sulked at him.
“Ok, what about…” he said, returning to his scrolling. The truth was he didn’t have many male friends she didn’t already know. Their social circles had been nearly identical since middle school. Even when he had done something without her, they usually picked the only friends worth keeping around to add their their mutual group. Usually if Jungkook was going out, Alex was right there with him, unless it was a date. But he dated women, so that didn’t give him many male connections.
Besides, it wasn’t just about finding guys he knew but figuring out who would potentially be a decent enough match for Alex to go on enough dates with her for her to not be weird about the wedding. Because apparently she was being weird about the wedding. Maybe that shouldn’t surprise him. She’d dated so rarely ever, it must still seem like such a big deal to her. He really had thought maybe she just wasn’t interested in that, but now that he knew she was… it made it hard for him to really envision who would be good for her. She’d only had the one barely-boyfriend Yoongi Min and Jungkook had never understood how that even came about anyway. Everything about them seemed wrong together. 
Who might like Alex? It wasn’t that he thought she was hard to like! Actually completely the opposite, she was one of his favorite people in the world. She was great. Funny, smart but also dumb in endearing ways, sometimes cheerful, sometimes grumpy, good cook, loud about her (sometimes terrible) opinions on just about everything, up for a joke and a friendly competition, the same degree of sore loser as he was so she didn’t resent him for it when he was an ass about it. Non-judgmental except about the things it was funny to be judgmental about. Sincere except when she was sulking behind humor. There was no one’s opinion he trusted more or whose support meant more to him. 
But she just didn’t put herself out there like guys were looking for at this point. She wasn’t hot in a mainstream way, but plenty of guys didn’t care about that as long as she made it clear she was actually interested. She looked cute in pictures, she could make a funny dating profile and hook someone, he was sure of it! Even with as weird as she could be, someone would find it charming. The things she complained about herself –her glasses, her weight, her occasional acne, her gremlin nature– weren’t important and if she liked a guy for whom they were important, he was a dick anyway. It wasn’t that. But… she just still needed a special someone and he just didn’t know that kind of special someone for her, so he couldn’t really envision who that person was. But he definitely existed! Somewhere!
He showed her another picture, a guy who might like her, but she grimaced and shook her head.
“You don’t like anyone I’m showing you.”
“I don’t know, you’re only showing me a picture! I don’t know anything about any of them!”
“But do you think they’re hot?”
“Eh… not really,” she admitted.
“What’s your type?”
“Hoseok Jung,” she instantly answered with a sigh. 
“So like… long-faced 5s who wish they were kpop idols–”
“What?! How dare you?! He’s not a fucking five ! He’s at least a nine with blonde hair, definitely a 10 with his dark hair.”
“Uh huh, on a scale of–”
“You’re like a 6.”
“Six,” he repeated, leveling a look at her. “ Six . I am not a six .”
“Really? Because I’m looking at you and–”
“I’m at least an eight. If I was a little taller, nine, easy–”
“Ok that’s so funny though. Like you’re going to argue with my six but not even have the ego to say you’re a ten–”
“Well, if I could grow a beard maybe,” he mused, running his fingers along his skin. He hadn’t shaved in two days and barely had any stubble to show for it yet. “This baby face is a blessing and a curse–”
“Your baby face isn’t the problem, it’s the stupid abs you’re trying to convince the world you have. You’re just flat. Eat a fucking cheeseburger already.”
“So you’d rate me higher without abs…”
“Eh… no, probably not. Six seems right for you.”
“Ok, four.”
He’d meant it as a joke. A joke . Because she was saying he was a six! And she didn’t give a shit what he thought about her looks! But there was a moment before she responded, and in that moment he realized that maybe even Alex wouldn’t think a joke like that was funny.
“Four as in the number of items from these laundry baskets you’ve even touched?” she asked, kicking one towards him. “I’m not folding it all myself!”
“I was joking. You aren’t a four. Obviously you aren’t a four or–”
“God, if you feel like you have to clarify, that’s so much worse. I don’t need you trying to convince us both that I’m hot. I may not be like the girls you go after but someone else will find me hot. Someday.”
“Yeah! Wait, I mean–”
“Fold the fucking laundry, Jungkook.”
Now he felt like an asshole and tossed his phone aside to do that, but tried to make it better by asking, “Do you want me to tell you the things I think are pretty–”
“Jesus Christ, no I don’t. That would be weird for both of us. My feelings aren’t hurt you don’t think I’m hot… it’d be way weirder if you did.”
“Ok…”
“You’re not my type either so… damn, I hope Hoseok doesn’t think I’m just a four…”
Jungkook had no way to predict what Hoseok thought. He hadn’t really read much from his appearance at the arcade. He just seemed kind of bubbly and bland. Probably he’d be great as a Starbucks store manager because he seemed like the kind of person who got way too excited about organizing merchandise and recommending frappuccinos to people.
“Why don’t you ask him?” Jungkook suggested.
“Ask him… to rate my attractiveness–”
“No, ask him out,” he clarified. “You’re shitting on everyone I show you. You think he’s hot. Find out if he thinks you’re hot.”
“I can’t do that while he’s in corporate– and besides, it’d be mortifying when he says no and– and this is my career!”
“Yeah but what if he’s down for it?”
“The wedding is too far away. Even if he said yes, I can’t ask him to go to a wedding with me in six months. He’d get tired of me way before then.”
“Yeah but maybe he’d feel obligated if he’d already said yes–”
“Jungkook! God you’re such an asshole today after I loaned you quarters for the laundry–”
“I’m folding it, aren’t I?” he pointed out, adding another shirt of hers he’d folded to her pile. “Fine, keep him in mind as a backup then. If I don’t find you someone else by a few weeks out, then you can ask him.”
“How is he a back up if he’ll say no?”
“Maybe he won’t say no.”
“But then I’d need to not transfer to his store… I can’t ask him out if he’s literally my boss.”
“Hm… good point… guess it’s now or never?”
“Never. God I’m getting heartburn just talking about it like this. He’s so pretty… he’s definitely not thinking dirty things about me when he sees me…”
“It doesn’t have to be about looks. Your personality is ok–” He broke off as she threw his jeans in his face. He laughed.
“Besides, you’re my backup.”
“You can’t sabotage every suggestion I come up with though.”
“Yeah and you can’t just pawn me off on a piece of shit just so you don’t have to go with me–”
“Hey!” He gave her a sincerely offended look. “I wouldn’t just pawn you off on a piece of shit. That’s why this is harder! I mean, if you would just be casual about the wedding date, there are more guys I’d be ok setting you up with for that but if you want to date first and–”
“I mean I don’t need a boyfriend but yeah I’d like to go on like at least a date before. What if the guy is like an alcoholic and gets too drunk at the wedding? Or causes a scene? Or bails on me to go fuck a bridesmaid?”
“I told you I was going to do that one and you said–”
He wasn’t expecting her sigh, “I guess I was hoping you could just not be a fuckboy for our friend’s wedding. But whatever, that’s between you and Jimin–”
“Are you being… judgy right now?”
“That you care more about sex than celebrating our friends getting married? A little, yeah!”
“I don’t care about marriage, but yeah, Jimin and In’am are great. I’ll be celebrating their romance so many times between all the parties and the wedding and groomsman duties… he doesn’t give a shit if I fuck someone from his wedding as long as it’s not a family member.”
“Ok, whatever…”
“We all have our own ways of celebrating love.”
“Sex isn’t the same thing as love.”
“Sure it can be, even if it’s only for a night. You think I don’t treat the women I’m with well? They feel loved for a night.”
“Jesus Christ,” Alex scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Look, whatever, I didn’t expect you to get all defensive. Fuck whoever you want, I don’t care. I’ll find my own date to the wedding.”
“No, I promised I’d help.”
“I don’t need your help.”
“You kinda do.”
“Maybe I don’t,” she said, glaring. Her glare was so funny. Least threatening glare ever. Her mom had a terrifying glare and it seemed to have skipped Alex completely. 
“Really? You’re going to find a date without my help at all?”
“Yeah!”
“Yeah?”
“YEAH,” she said. “So don’t bother.”
Jungkook just put his phone away and went back to folding. She was doing her Big Alex Talking thing right now, but later she’d admit she didn’t actually know anyone. She didn’t do much. She didn’t meet people. He was way more social than she was. Sure, she’d have fun at parties with their friends. She was fun to do things with! Honestly, she was way more fun to do things with than any of their other friends, and he knew that. But she was a creature of habit. She didn’t know shit about dating or meeting people or relationships. 
He looked forward to her crawling back. He’d even be nice about it! Maybe he’d keep looking for ideas while he waited for her to eat crow…
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Despite what Jungkook liked to tease her about, Alex actually did have friends he wasn’t a part of. Because Jungkook worked at the Verizon store in sales, he had no concept of fun coworkers. 
But Alex’s coworkers were (mostly) a dream. She loved the people at her store. There was a reason she had stayed in the same store for so long, because even the early shift could be fun if you worked with the right people, and most of the people she worked with were totally the right people. Whether that was singing pop songs through the headsets while on drive-through, or leaving funny notes at closing for the openers to see when they showed up at 4:30 am, or coming up with on-the-fly debates to enlist customer feedback on, or experimenting to make their own new favorite drinks. Alex’s absolute favorite –a soy peppermint white mocha frappuccino– had definitely added some inches to her waistline. But they were just that good, so she’d embraced the additional chub, that’s just the way it had to be. Well, she’d gone through an americano phase for a while to try and cut the calories but that much caffeine had basically turned her into a maniac, so she decided to be happy and docile and embrace the frappuccino padding.
Coworkers at the store did lots of things together –movies, cook outs, pool parties, cookie decorating in the winter, volleyball games. Some went camping together; others went clubbing. Alex didn’t go along to everything, but depending which of her coworkers were going, she’d tag along. They were her friends! Jungkook was far from her only friend! He was also strictly forbidden from sleeping with any of her coworkers, which he said he wasn’t tempted by anyway because everyone smelled like her work clothes. The social circles didn’t mix much anyway.
On this particular beautiful spring day, a handful of her coworkers were heading over to the park down the street from the store to play some volleyball. Alex dragged her feet throughout her shift, deciding whether to go or not, but Amy and Rob begged her to, and Milo said he would only go if she did, and it was really nice out… 
So she was convinced, and headed straight to the park with Milo once their shifts ended.
“Ugh, I feel like I should have gone home to shower first,” she complained. “But if I did, there’s no way I’d get my ass back out of my apartment.”
“We’ll all smell like cocoa powder and espresso, it doesn’t matter. I don’t even notice it anymore. I took this guy on a date the other day and as soon as he got in my car, he was like ‘Either you work at a coffee shop or you have a serious addiction.’”
Alex snickered, “Yeah? Well did the date go well after that?”
“No, totally bombed. He doesn’t even like coffee… So do we all just stink all the time?”
“Could be worse,” Alex pointed out. “I mean there are worse things to smell like.”
“Yeah, but there are better things to smell like too… at least we’ll be outside.”
“Yeah but the others didn’t work yet so they won’t smell like this yet.”
Milo suggested, “It’s probably in our blood by now. We all just sweat espresso. At least we all have each other.”
“You mean to comfort us until we die alone?”
“Yeah exactly. We’ll all get ground up for mulch for cacao plants…”
They reached the park to find the game of volleyball already kicking off, and hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill to the side.
“I hope you scrubbed that grill first!” Alex called, making a beeline for the grill while Milo went to bully his way into the game. She reached the couple of people gathered around it as Amy assured her,
“Yeah we did, are you kidding? We’re great at sanitation!” 
Beside her, who should turn around with a big smile on his face but Hoseok as he agreed, “Yeah, I was already in the groove from scrubbing the new store so I gave it a good once, twice over.”
“Oh. Hey.”
“Don’t look at me like that,” he laughed. “I can be here, I’m officially not corporate anymore!”
“You’re here sharking our employees, huh?” Alex teased.
Hoseok’s smile grew even bigger as he insisted, “No! No! Dan would kill me… everyone knows your group has the tightest staff. Maybe I just want to learn how to recreate that at my store.”
“Tight, huh?” Amy laughed –Amy and Hoseok had known each other since high school. But Amy had kids young and was a stay at home mom for a while and only worked part time now, while Hoseok had instead gone right into his career. 
Had Alex asked questions of Amy sometimes when they worked the early morning sleepy shift together? Just because she wanted to learn more about Hoseok? …. Maybe.
“Are you really going to complain? I bought the hot dogs!”
Beside them, Oliver snickered, “Yeah because you’re trying to lure us in.”
“I’m not! My intentions are pure! Amy invited me…”
Alex gave them a suspicious look now. Were they…? Amy was a single mom. They’d been friends forever. Amy was a shift lead like her, so she could date an assistant manager at another store…
But as if her thoughts had been read, within minutes Amy mentioned a recent date and Hoseok added that he’d enjoyed babysitting. 
“Ok first batch is done… I think,” Hoseok said, leaning closer to the grill. Alex gasped and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him back.
“Don’t put your face near the fire!”
He cried out, “I wasn’t even thinking about it!” He shook his head, “Ahh, you’ve got the common sense skills…”
“... To go work for you?” she laughed.
“I’m not trying to– why does everything think I’m trying to shark people? I thought I could still hang out even though I’m an assistant store manager–”
“You can hang out,” Oliver assured him. “You’re cool.”
“Are you going to play volleyball?” Alex asked him. “That’s where the true trial begins…”
Hoseok glanced at the sand pit nervously as he lifted hot dogs from the grill with tongs and set them on the plate Alex held out, “Ah, well… I’m not very good…”
“Most of us aren’t good,” she admitted.
Oliver glared at her, “Speak for yourself, I’m basically pro.”
“Then why are you hovering around the hot dogs instead of out there?”
“Uh because free food?”
More free food was showing up. Andrea brought a batch of brownies –confirmed free of both nuts and pot. Priyya brought an industrial-sized case of Jell-o cups because her parents had a Costco membership. Chesley produced a massive bag of baby carrots, “So y’all can get your veggies today and not live on carbs and coffee. I’m worried about everyone’s shits.”
Alex tried to not be pathetically obvious that she was hanging around Hoseok. She really did. She kept reminding herself that just because it kind of felt like he was hanging around her too didn’t mean anything. She was probably imagining it. He was just so nice and friendly and open with everyone!
He asked about her family as they ate because apparently he remembered that her brother had just moved to Italy –”not the brother I met at the arcade though,” he clarified, forcing her to facepalm and admit that wasn’t actually her brother, just her best PLATONIC friend. He smiled like he had known they weren’t siblings but wanted to be nice and she felt the need to insist again it was just a platonic friendship, and then admit her friend was a fuckboy and not into her.
“He’s so hot though,” Jayme sighed. 
Alex snorted, “Is he? Not my type at all.”
“Oh, what’s your type?” Hoseok asked, then clapped his hand to his mouth and laughed, “Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t ask that… I’m just caught up in the gossip!”
“Yeah, what is your type?” Amy asked, nudging her arm. “You like, outgoing…”
“Sure…”
“Hardworking.”
“Uh huh.”
“You look so uncomfortable,” Andrea laughed.
“Yeah, I don't know! None of you ever cared about my dating life before! Leave me alone!”
“Because there’s no dating life to discuss,” Oliver grinned at her.
“Hey I get enough of that shit at home. I’m not against dating, I’m just… picky I guess…”
“As you should be,” Hoseok insisted. “Don’t settle! You deserve to not waste your time with someone.”
“Yeah.” She took a massive bite of her hot dog and mumbled with a mouthful, “Thanks.”
People ate in waves, and once she’d finished, Alex thought she should probably give Hoseok space and not make obvious she was hovering. Besides, some people like Kacy might be shitty if they picked up on it; it wouldn’t be the first time she’d talked shit about Alex…
So Alex went to join the next round of volleyball, taking up position at the front of the net where she hoped most of the balls would go over her head anyway. 
But when the first ball sailed over the net, it came right for her. She flailed and managed to pop it back up into the air but couldn’t hit it again, so she dove out of the way. Hoseok was right there to hit it, barely tipping it over the net as everyone yelled.
“Oh!” She hadn’t even realized he’d come to play as well and it left her flustered when he held his hand out to help her up.
“Wait, your team has too many people!” Chesley pointed out.
Hoseok laughed, “Alex and me are only one person.”
“Yeah, they suck, let ‘em stay.”
“This is maligning the sanctity of–”
“I’ll malign your sanctity, just throw the ball!” Amy challenged and clapped her hands. 
So Chesley did. And Hoseok and Alex did not exactly make him regret it. She had a couple good saves, there was that in her favor at least! And Hoseok too kept the ball from being lost at least once. 
Afterwards Alex joked, “You’d never guess I played volleyball when I was a kid, huh?”
“You’re so fast!” Hoseok argued instead. “Wow, it was so impressive though! You dive right across the court!”
She flushed at what seemed like sincere flattery. God, he was just so nice . And hanging out, it was easy to remember that he was more than his job –previously in corporate and now an assistant store manager. 
“You know what I used to play?” he continued. “Tennis.”
“Oh, yeah?” Rich kid , she immediately thought, which was not what she had previously expected of him. It did not occur to her he might just have been lazy like Jungkook. Though he did dress nicely when he came by the store to say hi to Amy or Craig, who he also was pretty close with. He’d looked nice at the arcade. He looked nice in his social media profiles, though she was too shy to actually friend him and see anything other than his public posts, which weren’t many.
“I wanted to be a pro for a while in elementary school,” he continued as they walked together to get drinks. “I won bronze in a tournament.”
“Woah! Really!”
“There were four people,” he admitted, clapping his hands as he laughed at himself.
“So not last!”
“Ah, I knew you’d say that. You’re a funny person who’s also nice.”
A funny person who’s also nice. The death knell of romantic hope. Funny and nice. He might as well have just shoved her away from him as they walked. 
Sigh.
But it wasn’t like that was unusual. She knew that. She didn’t even know how much older he was, but at least a couple of years, and further along in his career. And beautiful. And nice and funny but also lots of other things too.
She had planned to go home by this time, since she’d worked all day, but found herself bullied into staying. Some were debating whether to go to the pool at Chesley’s apartment building. Some were debating a movie. Some weren’t thinking of leaving at all, just letting conversation take them wherever. An hour flitted away like that, and then Alex decided she really ought to head home.
“I know, but I open tomorrow!” she complained, pushing up from the grass where they’d stretched out. Her legs itched. She still needed to walk back to her car too, which she’d left up the street at work.
“Yeah, I need to head out too, my girls should be getting back from their dad’s,” Amy said. Apparently Hoseok had ridden with her, because he stood too and thanked everyone for letting him hang out and seemed genuinely pleased when they said he wasn’t so bad for an assistant manager.
As they started to walk, he sighed, “I know I won’t be able to hang out like this with the people in my store though, huh?”
“Depends who’s in your store,” Amy insisted. “Lots of managers I wouldn’t want to be around outside of work, but you’re one of the good ones.”
“I wouldn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable though…”
“How could you make anyone uncomfortable?” Alex demanded. 
“Ah well thanks…”
“Hey, do you two want to come over to my house for dinner?” Amy asked. “I’ve got space at the table.”
Embarrassed if Amy felt the need to invite her along, Alex quickly insisted, “I’m probably all set from those hot dogs–”
“Yeah, but what about tomorrow?”
“Amy,” Hoseok glared. Which confused Alex. She suddenly felt like something was happening she didn’t understand. 
Amy actually laughed, “Well? Do something then!”
“I don’t want to…”
“Yeah, no one ever wants to listen to me!” Amy sighed dramatically and then quickened her step to leave them behind.
Now thoroughly confused, Alex admitted, “I don’t know what she’s talking about. I just didn’t want to invite myself along– I know you two are friends and–”
“Yeah, we’re friends,” Hoseok agreed. “Sometimes she gets pushy. She’s just trying to help me but… well…”
“Help you what? Make friends? You really shouldn’t feel like it wasn’t ok for you to hang out with us. Even if it doesn’t feel right at your own store, it’s not a big deal with us. We all like you and you aren’t in charge of us.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Me? Of course not, why would I mind?”
“Ok, that’s good.”
They walked half a block in silence. And Alex just had that weird feeling like maybe she wasn’t weird for feeling like what had just happened was weird. Was Amy trying to help her spend more time with Hoseok?! Had she figured out from Alex’s vague and infrequent questions that she had a crush?! Shit! 
But… But Amy and Hoseok were friends. She wouldn’t nudge Alex towards something if there wasn’t the possibility it was welcome…
But how could it be welcomed? He was so…
“Hey, how old are you?” Alex asked impulsively. “I’m allowed to ask that, right?”
Hoseok laughed, “It’s only illegal if you’re hiring me.”
“ You’re the assistant store manager.”
“But not yours!”
“Yeah, are you going to grief me if I don’t come to your store?”
“You made up your mind already, huh? And I’m twenty-nine.”
Oh. That wasn’t as much older than her as she thought. 
“Don’t get me wrong, I think it would be a lot of fun to work with you,” she said. Was that flirty? Was she flirting? Was she doing this right?! God, she was insane, there was no way he wanted her to flirt with him… he was just looking for employees…
“Yeah, I think so too,” Hoseok said. “But I get it. You’re happy at your store and you’re doing really well. You like being a shift supervisor?”
“I do! Yeah.”
“So you’re definitely not coming to my store.”
Fuck. Was she really saying that? Well, she could say no and then always change her mind later… she doubted Hoseok would grief her if later she asked to transfer, though it might not be his call anyway. And probably he wouldn’t even be an asshole if she asked him out right now and it was totally unwarranted. It wasn’t like against company policy or anything though–
“Hey, can I ask you a hypothetical question?”
“Sure.”
“This is totally hypothetical, not about anyone you know,” she said. “But I didn’t know what to tell my friend and they’re worried they’ll get in trouble for asking.”
“Oh,” he said, looking very serious.
“Can a shift lead date a shift lead or even like a store manager at another store?”
Alex really felt like she might shit her pants. It wasn’t just her stupid feelings on the line right now, but also possibly her career. Maybe she’d have to leave Starbucks and go work at fucking Verizon with Jungkook. She would be surly and not good at it.
“Yes, that’s not against company policy,” he said. “Level differences in dating just can’t be in the same store, or in a store and corporate. Peer-relationships in a store have to be disclosed and ideally someone transfers to a different store. But at different stores, there’s no issue with it.”
“Oh ok, thanks. I figured you have the handbook memorized and everything.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m not going to your store,” she said. 
“Yeah, I get it, how many times do you need to reject me?” he joked.
“Do you want to get dinner tomorrow? Not with Amy though, just with me…”
FUCK! She was really asking this! 
He immediately laughed and she died, but just as quickly he assured her, “No, I can’t believe it. I was going to ask you that!”
“You were going to ask me out?”
“But I didn’t know if it was ok with you and if you were thinking about coming to my store I didn’t want to risk making you uncomfortable but–”
“Wait, really ?”
“No?”
“Sorry, I’m having a hard time processing this right now–”
“Your own question?” he laughed.
“I didn’t expect you to say yes!” she admitted. “I just expected to make you awkward and uncomfortable and I was already planning my resignation letter in my head–”
“From the whole company?!”
“Yes! Wait… wait did you say yes?”
His whole face lit up; he laughed with his whole body. He did not seem to think she was being a loser about all of this. He just looked amused and… happy.
“Yes, yeah,” he said. “Let’s get dinner tomorrow and uh… do you want to see a movie? Do you like movies?”
“I like movies.”
“What kind of movies?”
They’d reached the parking lot now though, where Amy was waiting in her car with the music up. They decided to trade numbers and discuss movies and dinner over text. She actually watched Hoseok type his number into her phone. She actually received a smile from Hoseok as he said bye and headed towards the call. She was actually going on a date with Hoseok.
She couldn’t wait to get home and lord it over Jungkook! He was never going to believe she’d been the one to ask him out!
She got into her car as Amy and Hoseok drove away. Her radio had been left on and blasted. She hurried to turn it off but actually the shock of a loud noise was welcome because it proved this wasn’t a dream. Had that really just happened? Had she asked Hoseok out? And he’d admitted he wanted to ask her out?! That couldn’t be true, right? She’d just hallucinated…
But she looked at her phone and saw his name and number, entered by his own finger.
“HOLY FUCK!”
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MASTERLIST | NEXT
338 notes ¡ View notes
sabinanotfound ¡ 4 years ago
Text
How They Would Propose
- warnings: proposals...? Oh and side effects of this hc are cuteness overload, teeth rotting, cuteness explosion and wanting to get a s/o syndrome
- includes: Dream, GeorgeNotFound, SapNap, Wilbur Soot and Quackity
- please note that this is just for fun and I don’t mean to hurt shame or make fun of anyone
- enjoy :)
masterlist
navigation
-
Dream
It’s summer and you get a call from Dream
Dream invites you on a date. You can practically hear his smile from the other end
He tells you to wear something cute but suitable for the beach
You’re exited because he’s being mysterious
He picks you up and after a short drive you’re at the beach
He opens the car door for you and helps you get out
You two walk to the beach and right away you see a picnic set up on the soft sand
You get exited and flustered
Because how did you get so lucky with this man?
He leads you to the picnic blanket with snacks and candles on it
In the meantime the sun starts setting and it’s so pretty
Pretty much the whole atmosphere is romantic
You are looking at the horizon where the sun was setting but Dream lightly clears his thoat, turning your attention back to him
You gasp
He is on one knee and is holding a ring between his thumb and index finger
“y/n y/l/n, my favorite person in the whole world, will you marry me?”
“Yes, yes!” You are still in shock
But very happy
You kiss
And live happily ever after
GeorgeNotFound
Shy boi™
But will definitely do everything to make it special
You come home from work one day
You open the door and are met with the living room decorated with heart shaped balloons and candles
(They are scented [your favorite scent] by the way)
George is nowhere to be seen
You look into all of the rooms
Lastly you look into your shared bedroom
And sure enough, he’s there
But the first thing you see are the decorations
There are rose petals everywhere
Even more candles
And a huge banner, saying “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”
Your eyes fall on George who is smiling from ear-to-ear and is holding a ring
(He’s blushing which only adds onto the whole ~effect~)
“y/n, my soulmate, my sun, my moon, the reason I wake up and go to sleep happy, will you marry me?”
Your mouth is opened in shock, but a huge grin makes its way onto your lips
(You both are blushing SO MUCH at this point)
“YES!” You scream and attack George’s face with kisses
What can I say, he definitely made it special.
SapNap
He knows that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you
But he just can’t find the right moment
He feels like you don’t have to have the balloons and candles for the setting
He just wants to propose when you both are the closest to each other
Both mentally and physically
One day he got the exact opportunity he wanted
You two are cuddling on the couch watching some movie
The movie is kind of boring but you are enjoying each other’s presence so you don’t mind
sapnap has been carrying the ring in his pocket to propose in the right moment
And he’s fiddling with it and trying to collect his thoughts because at the moment he’s nervous boi™
You meet his eyes and he gets all the courage he needs
He sits straighter and gently lifts your head from his chest
“y/n y/l/n. The love of my life, I want to grow old with you. You make me feel special, loved. Will you say marry me and make me the happiest man alive?”
Your mouth opens in shock and you blush.
“Yes, I will! I love you so much, sap.”
And you kiss him
It’s one of his happiest memories
Wilbur Soot
He’d prepare really well
Do you know how he would propose?
(Hint: his guitar is involved)
He’d ask one of your friends to distract you for a day so he could set everthing up
In the evening, your friend takes you to a “secret location”
And of course you’re curious
Turns out it’s a nearby forest area and there’s a path decorated with candles leading somewhere
You are so amazed by the beauty of your surroundings that you don’t notice that your friend stay behind
You hear a guitar sound and you immediately know who it is
Sure enough, at the end of the path, on a makeshift stage stands Wilbur
Guitar in hands, smile on lips
Handsomeness to the maximum
And he starts singing
“~y/n y/l/n, you’re my favorite person
In the whole, wide wooorld...
I want to spend my whole life with you
And grow old in an adorable cottage...
All it takes is a yes, will you marry me, princess?~”
You are in literal tears a this point
This is the best proposal ever
He gets down on one knee
And asks one more time:
“y/n y/l/n. Will you marry me?”
“Yes, yes, yes, yes!!!”
And you kiss him
I think I don’t have to tell you that it’s both of yours’ favorite memory
Quackity
I think that if you’re comfy being involved in his streams and engage with his fanbase, he’d propose on stream
Because he just loves his fans and they’re super supportive of your relationship
So he sets up the room where he streams
Balloons, a banner saying “y/n, will you marry me?” And the ring, obviously
He titles the stream “super secret stream”
Yes he’s a child what about it
He is super quiet so you wouldn’t hear what he’s telling the chat
“I’m going to propose to y/n, wish me luck.”
He turns the camera so chat could see your reaction
And he calls you into the room saying he needs help for the steam
“So babe did you n-“ you interrupt your own sentence with a gasp
Alex is one knee, holding a ring.
“y/n. I love you so much. Will you marry me?”
Tears well in your eyes.
“Yes.” Your voice is barely over a whisper, but it echoes through the room.
You kiss him, not caring about the stream
“Chat, you clipped this, right?”
653 notes ¡ View notes
daintyduck99 ¡ 2 years ago
Note
"I love that I can be myself around you." for any part of the Greater Polyphantoms Polycule
Julie giggles as Reggie rushes by, leaving a trail of paper hearts in his wake. In addition to the porch, aka the area he's supposed to be decorating, he's managed to stick one to Alex's fanny pack, Flynn’s jacket, and yup—the strap of Julie's overalls. He's a regular cupid, dashing around with flushed cheeks and overflowing with hearts. The only thing he's missing is a bow. Maybe a skirt.
There's a muffled yelp that sounds suspiciously like Luke as Reggie leaps off of the porch and rounds the corner. Julie shares a dubious look and a smile with Flynn, shaking her head, and Alex just lets out a little, inexplicably fond okay, righting the banner that's been knocked out of place for the millionth time.
Scratch that. Reggie puts the sweet in sweetheart, but he also puts the A-H in lethal. No bow and arrows for him.
The skirt, though—
Alex touches her shoulder, yanking her out of her rapidly derailing train of thought.
"Could you make sure that the backyard isn't on fire? I'm going to keep watch while Flynn checks on the cookies."
"I have the fire department on speed dial," she says semi-jokingly. She could easily cue them up in her contacts. "Sure thing."
He pulls her in for a quick hug, resting his chin on top of her head. "Thanks, Julie. I don't know what we'd do without you."
"Without us!" Flynn calls through the screen door, having already slipped inside. "And the answer is arson, probably!"
"Alright, nope, no more of that," Alex mutters as he releases her, "we are not manifesting this on Carrie's favorite holiday, she will literally murder us. Go team."
Julie's still giggling when she enters the backyard, only to gasp as she looks up.
Willie outdid himself with the lights. It's as if fairies float from every tree, bobbing in the breeze in pink and white pairs, perfectly spaced and utterly mesmerizing.
He swings down right in front of her, dangling upside down from the nearest tree, and she nearly screams. He grins delightedly.
"Jellybean! What do you think?"
She softens at the nickname, though she crosses her arms all the same. A small smile tugs at her lips.
"I think that it's Valentine's Day, not Halloween. When it comes to decor, Carrie's going to love it, though. Maybe just don't try that on her. She'll judo flip you before she recognizes you, and Reggie will cry if you break another bone."
"We can't have that," he agrees jovially, but she knows he's serious about it. He's just such a happy person. His eyes shine, and her heart warms with love for him.
"Wills!" Reggie comes barreling over, abandoning Luke by the half-covered tables and the mound of tablecloths. "We should totally do the Spiderman kiss! I've always wanted to do that!"
Willie quirks an eyebrow at him, which makes him laugh even when Willie's right-side up. This time doesn't disappoint.
"Well? What are you waiting for, Cherry?"
They always kiss with so much boundless energy. It's like watching cars crash into each other willingly at a demo derby, reckless and wild and vaguely hypnotic.
Reggie pins a little heart that will be flipped when Willie rights himself to Willie's chest in the process, snickering as he pulls away, though he also takes the time to press a smiling kiss to Julie's lips when she tilts her face towards his. He then runs back to Luke, who's pouting, although he's most likely received more than his fair share of kisses today.
Willie wiggles his eyebrows at her. She has no idea how he's still hanging like that.
"Where's my kiss from you, Jellybean?"
She huffs a laugh. "You're all terrible flirts."
"Isn't it justified today?"
"Maybe," she allows. She cups his face and kisses his hot cheek. "I wouldn't change anything about you, though. You can flirt with me terribly any day."
His grin widens, pulling his cheeks taut under her hands. "I love that I can be myself around you."
"Ditto." She presses another kiss to the slope of his chin, which makes him giggle. "Now get down from there before Alex really makes me call the fire department."
Thankfully, they all make it through the evening unscathed, save for more hearts, some mussed clothes, and a few lipstick prints.
15 notes ¡ View notes
catdotjpeg ¡ 3 years ago
Photo
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[Image ID: 1. Filipino activists march in the street with banners. A large black banner reads: “Mangahas na lumaban, Timog Katagalugan!” 
2. An organizer speaks into a microphone in front of a red banner. Some of the text is obstructed, but it reads: “Hustisya para sa lahat ng biktima ng Bloody Sunday massacre!” 
3. Activists hold more banners, reading: “Fight for land, justice, and democracy!” and “Free Genalyn Avelino, Renante De Leon, Willie Capareño, Erlindo Baes”. Three more activists stand in front of the banners. One is carrying a black placard reading “Never forget Bloody Sunday massacre”; one is speaking into a microphone; and another is holding a placard shaped like a white dove, which reads: “Palayain si Nimfa Lanzanas.”
4. This photo is similar to the first one, but another banner, held by organizers from BAYAN Rizal, can be seen more clearly. It reads: “Wakasan at panagutin ang rehimeng US-China-Duterte! Isulong ang karapatan demokrasya, at kasarinlan ng sambayanang Pilipino!” 
5. Activists from Bagong Silangan carry a white banner with partially obscured text. The activist closest to the camera is carrying a red placard, which reads: “#Save Sitio Silangan”. 
6. Many organizers carrying a large black banner reading “Junk Terror Law!” march in the street.
7. Activists from Kasama TK carry a red flag, which reads: “Justice for Antonio Molina, Alex Arias. Free all political prisoners!” End ID.] 
MANGAHAS NA LUMABAN, TIMOG KATAGALUGAN! Tagumpay ang pagkilos ng mga mamamayan ng Timog Katagalugan ngayong International Human Rights Day! Naninindigan ang rehiyon na patuloy nitong isusulong ang karapatang pantao ng masang api't pinagsasamantalahan. Patuloy ring igigiit ng Timog Katagalugan ang pagbabasura sa Terror Law at pagwawakas sa tambalang Marcos-Duterte-Arroyo-Estrada na walang ibang dulot kung hindi pahirapan ang mga mamamayang Pilipino.
DARE TO FIGHT, SOUTHERN TAGALOG! The action of the people of Southern Tagalog on International Human Rights Day is a success! The region is committed to continuing to advance the human rights of the oppressed and exploited masses. Southern Tagalog will also continue to demand the repeal of the Terror Law and an end to the Marcos-Duterte-Arroyo-Estrada coalition, which will have no other effect but to torture the Filipino people.
-- Anakbayan Southern Tagalog, 10 Dec 2021
19 notes ¡ View notes
oneboxofmatches ¡ 3 years ago
Text
All You Need to Know About Matchups!
CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE WAITLIST
Hi y'all!
This account is solely for matchups for several different fandoms. That means requests for imagines, oneshots, headcanons, etc. will NOT be taken.
Here are some basic things to know about requesting a matchup!
Unless otherwise specified for a certain fandom, a request yields one romantic pairing AND one friendship pairing as well as information on why I think you work well with the individuals I choose. Of course, if you only wish to receive either just the romantic matchup or just the friendship matchup, just let me know!
You can request matchups for several different fandoms at once! For each fandom you request, I will match you up with one romantic partner and one friend unless you request differently.
You can ask to exclude any character(s)!
Where can I request a matchup?
Requests can be made in the MATCHUP REQUESTS/ASK ME ANYTHING tab.
What do I need to include in my request?
Required
Fandom(s)
Your gender and/or pronouns
Your sexual orientation and/or preferences
Description of personality
Optional (but definitely helps me out!)
Description of appearance
Hobbies
Personality alignment (Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, Hogwarts House, etc.)
What you would look for in a partner and/or friend
Any other information you think would be helpful – the more you provide, the more I can work with!
Now with that out of the way, onto the fandoms!
Listed directly below is a shortlist of all the fandoms I take requests for as well as some extra information as needed.
Disclaimers
If a title is in italics, it means that while I feel comfortable providing matchups for this show, I have not watched every season. If a character drastically changes after a certain point, I may not be aware. The last season I watched of these shows will be included in parentheses.
All movies/shows based on novels will most likely focus on the on-screen adaptations of characters.
SHOWS
The 100 (6)
Good Omens
The Good Place (3)
Lucifer (4)
On My Block
Parks and Recreation (4)
Prodigal Son (1)
Sherlock
Space Force
Supernatural (14)
The Walking Dead (8)
MOVIES
Clueless
The Greatest Showman
Harry Potter -- Unless specified in request, will entail 2 sets of matchups as a student (Golden Trio and Marauders eras respectively)
The Hunger Games
Marvel Cinematic Universe -- Unless age is specified, underage characters will NOT be available for romantic matchups
BROADWAY
Anastasia
Beetlejuice
Carrie (2012 Off-Broadway)
Hadestown
Hamilton
Les MisĂŠrables
The Phantom of the Opera
Six
VIDEO GAMES
Detroit: Become Human
Red Dead Redemption 2
What’s below the cut?
A masterlist of characters in each fandom that will be considered for each request (unless marked with an asterisk (*), all characters are assumed to be available for both romantic AND friendly matchups while names marked with an asterisk are only available for friendly matchups). Listed alphabetically by first name.
Don’t be afraid to tell me about a typo!
Any questions? Just want to talk? You can also use the  MATCHUP REQUESTS/ASK ME ANYTHING tab to get ahold of me!
SHOWS
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Bellamy Blake
Clarke Griffin
Echo
Finn Collins
Harper McIntyre
Jasper Jordan
Johnathan “John” Murphy
Jordan Green
Lexa
Lincoln
Marcus Kane
Monty Green
Octavia Blake
Raven Reyes
Roan
Wells Jaha
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Aziraphale
Anathema Device
Crowley
Newton Pulsifer
Mme. Tracy*
Witchfinder Sgt. Shadwell*
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Chidi Anagonye
Eleanor Shellstrop
Jason Mendoza
Michael*
Tahani Al-Jamil
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Amenadiel
Det. Chloe Decker
Det. Daniel “Dan” Espinoza
Ella Lopez
Eve
Dr. Linda Martin*
Lucifer Morningstar
Mazikeen “Maze”
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Cesar Diaz
Jamal Turner
Jasmine Flores
MonsĂŠ Finnie
Oscar “Spooky” Diaz
Ruben “Ruby” Martinez Jr.
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Andrew “Andy” Dwyer
Ann Perkins
April Ludgate
Benjamin “Ben” Wyatt
Christopher “Chris” Traeger
Donna Meagle*
Gerald “Jerry” Gergich*
Jean-Ralphio Saperstein*
Leslie Knope
Ronald “Ron” Swanson*
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Ainsley Whitly
Det. Dani Powell
Edrisa Tanaka
Lt. Gil Arroyo
Det. James “JT” Tarmel
Jessica Whitly
Malcolm Bright
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DI Greg Lestrade
Mrs. Hudson*
James “Jim” Moriarty
Dr. John Watson
Mary Morstan*
Molly Hooper
Mycroft Holmes
Sherlock Holmes
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Dr. Adrian Mallory*
Capt. Angela Ali
Brig. Gen. Bradley Gregory*
Dr. Chan Kaifang
Duncan Tabner
Erin Naird
F. Tony Scarapiducci
Kelly King
Maggie Naird*
Gen. Mark Naird*
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Abbie “Bela” Talbot*
Adam Milligan
Alex Jones
Balthazar
Benjamin “Benny” Lafitte
Castiel
Charlene “Charlie” Bradbury
Claire Novak
Crowley
Dean Winchester
Sheriff Donna Hanscum
Eileen Leahy
Ellen Harvelle*
Gabriel
Garth Fitzgerald IV
Jack Kline
Jessica “Jess” Moore*
Joanna “Jo” Harvelle
Sheriff Jody Mills*
John Winchester
Kaia Nieves
Kevin Tran
Lucifer
Meg Masters
Michael “Mick” Davies
Patience Turner
Robert “Bobby” Singer*
Rowena MacLeod
Rufus Turner*
Samuel “Sam” Winchester
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Aaron
Abraham Ford
Andrea*
Beth Greene
Carl Grimes*
Carol Peletier*
Dale Horvath*
Daryl Dixon
Dwight
Enid*
Eugene Porter*
King Ezekiel*
Father Gabriel Stokes
Glenn Rhee
Hershel Greene*
Maggie Greene
Michonne
Morgan Jones*
Negan Smith
Paul “Jesus” Rovia
Rick Grimes
Rosita Espinosa
Sasha Williams
Tara Chambler
Tyreese Williams
MOVIES
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Cher Horowitz
Dionne Davenport
Josh Lucas
Tai Frasier
Travis Birkenstock
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Anne Wheeler
Charity Barnum
Jenny Lind
Lettie Lutz*
Phillip Carlyle
Phineas “P.T.” Barnum
W.D. Wheeler
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Alastor “Mad-Eye” Moody*
Albus Dumbledore*
Arthur Weasley*
Cedric Diggory
Cho Chang
Draco Malfoy
Fleur Delacour
Fred Weasley
George Weasley
Ginevra “Ginny” Weasley
Harry Potter
Hermione Granger
James Potter
Lily Evans
Luna Lovegood
Minerva McGonagall*
Molly Weasley*
Neville Longbottom
Nymphadora Tonks*
Oliver Wood
Remus Lupin
Ronald “Ron” Weasley
Rubeus Hagrid*
Severus Snape
Sirius Black
Viktor Krum
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Cinna
Effie Trinket*
Finnick Odair
Gale Hawthorne
Haymitch Abernathy*
Johanna Mason
Katniss Everdeen
Peeta Mellark
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Anthony “Tony” Stark -- Iron Man
Dr. Bruce Banner -- Hulk
Carol Danvers -- Captain Marvel
Dr. Christine Palmer*
Clint Barton -- Hawkeye
Drax the Destroyer*
Edward “Ned” Leeds
Gamora
Groot*
Harold “Happy” Hogan*
Dr. Henry “Hank” Pym*\
Hope van Dyne -- Wasp
Sgt. James “Bucky” Barnes -- Winter Soldier
Col. James “Rhodey” Rhodes -- War Machine
Loki Laufeyson
Luis*
Mantis*
Dr. Margaret “Peggy” Carter*
Cdr. Maria Hill*
May Parker*
Lord M’Baku
Michelle “MJ” Jones
Nakia
Natasha Romanoff -- Black Widow
Nebula*
Col. Nicholas “Nick” Fury*
Okoye
Peter Parker -- Spider-Man
Peter Quill -- Star-Lord
Agt. Phillip “Phil” Coulson*
Pietro Maximoff -- Quicksilver
Rocket*
Samuel “Sam” Wilson -- Falcon
Scott Lang -- Ant-Man
Shuri
Dr. Stephen Strange
Steven “Steve” Rogers -- Captain America
King T’Challa -- Black Panther
Thor Odinson
Valkyrie
Virginia “Pepper” Potts
Vision
Wanda Maximoff -- Scarlet Witch
W’Kabi
Wong*
Yelena Belova
Yondu Udonta*
BROADWAY
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Grand Duchess Anastasia Romanov
Dimitri Sudayev
Gleb Vaganov
Countess Lily Malevsky-Malevitch*
Dowager Empress Maria Feodorovna*
Vladimir “Vlad” Popov*
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Adam Maitland
Barbara Maitland
Beetlejuice*
Delia Schlimmer
Lydia Deetz*
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Carrie White
Christine “Chris” Hargensen
Susan “Sue” Snell
Thomas “Tommy” Ross
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Eurydice
Hades
Hermes*
Orpheus
Persephone
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Aaron Burr
Alexander Hamilton
Angelica Schuyler
Elizabeth “Eliza” Schuyler
George Washington
Hercules Mulligan
James Madison
John Laurens
Margarita “Peggy” Schuyler
Maria Reynolds
Marquis de Lafayette
Philip Hamilton
Thomas Jefferson
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Cosette
Enjolras
Éponine Thénardier
Fantine
Insp. Javert
Jean Valjean
Marius Pontmercy
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Carlotta Giudicelli*
Christine DaaĂŠ
Erik “The Phantom”
Mme. Giry*
Meg Giry
Raoul de Chagny
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Anna of Cleves
Anne Boleyn
Catherine of Aragon
Catherine Parr
Jane Seymour
Katherine Howard
VIDEO GAMES
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Carl Manfred*
Chloe
Det. Chris Miller*
Connor
Elijah Kamski
Lt. Hank Anderson*
Capt. Jeffrey Fowler*
Josh
Kara
Leo Manfred
Lucy*
Luther
Markus
North
Rose Chapman*
Simon
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Abigail Roberts
Arthur Morgan
Beau Gray*
Charles Smith
Daniël “Dutch” Van der Linde
Eagle Flies
Hosea Matthews*
Javier Escuella
Johnathan “John” Marston Sr.
Josiah Trelawny
Karen Jones
Kieran Duffy
Leonard “Lenny” Summers
Marion “Bill” Williamson
Mary-Beth Gaskill
Micah Bell
Molly O’Shea
Penelope Braithwaite*
Rev. Orville Swanson*
Sadie Adler
Sean MacGuire
Simon Pearson*
Tilly Jackson
27 notes ¡ View notes
dreamofelectricmareep ¡ 4 years ago
Text
What’s our sorely-missed Calzona and company doing RIGHT NOW?
Headcannons from your favorite Calzona-obsessed and barely updated fangirl!
Callie is the chief of ortho at NewYork Presbyterian, with a huge research grant to take her artificial cartilage to clinical trials and to finish her and Derek’s work on robotic limbs for amputees. Amelia is consulting on her late brother’s work and flies out help (and see her friends) every few months. Callie is loving the baby time she gets with Scout during Amelia’s visits, and is not-so-subtly eyeing Arizona whenever a baby is in sight. Arizona begrudgingly agreed to be the face of NY Pres’ campaign for the robotic limb research, and Callie really loves pointing out to coworkers and patients alike that the hot blonde plastered across banners and walls and elevators is the woman she comes home to every night. The Chief of Surgery at NY Pres announced his upcoming retirement recently, and Callie just learned she’s been placed on the short list for his replacement.
Callie works just a short subway ride from the Robbins-Herman Center for Women's Health, where Arizona’s carts have reduced maternal mortality rates by a decent percentage. Herman is licensing off the rights to the carts across the country given how promising the results have been. Nicole and Arizona are teaching a promising “flock” of students. Nicole insists on referring to them as a flock, with Arizona being their mama bird, as she is Dr. Robbins. Arizona pretends not to be amused by Nicole’s less-than-stellar running joke, but she secretly loves being the rare, exotic mama bird, helping the new nestlings learn to soar in the field that she and Nicole are pioneering, saving lives in the process. Somehow, Nicole manages to, despite the blindness, always know exactly what’s going on, be it in a surgery or in Arizona’s love life. 
And Arizona’s love life is, for the first time in a long time, super awesome. She and Callie are stronger than ever, going into their relationship with better boundaries, coping mechanisms, communication skills, and understandings of each other. What hasn’t changed is the easy chemistry, laughter, and palpable, mutual attraction Arizona and Callie always seemed to share. Originally, Arizona had rented the apartment across the hall from Callie’s, but once her year-long lease was up, she, Callie, and Sofia, now a proper family again, made themselves comfortable in the far-more-spacious penthouse, with surprisingly low rent. Well, it was surprising until they found out that Carlos Torres of Torres Enterprises had ventured into Manhattan real-estate. He wanted nothing but the best for his Calliope, but Arizona doesn’t believe in handouts, so they pay a fair but below market-price rent for the four bedroom apartment. Between visits from Amelia and Teddy with Scout and Allison, Callie’s pleading looks, and her surprising ability to sic Sofia on the baby train, Arizona got on board. Callie and Arizona are in the process of becoming registered foster parents, as well as putting applications in with a few adoption agencies. 
When they realized that the fostering/adoption process would be much simpler if they were married, Callie popped the question (it was her turn, after all) during dinner at a three Michelin star restaurant. Callie had previously made a list of all the restaurants in New York she wanted to try, and although Arizona is a far less intrepid eater, she’s been holding her own on the adventure. Arizona said yes, not that it was even a question. After all, they’re Callie and Arizona, the great love story. They’re meant to be. Callie and Arizona had a quiet (legally-binding!) ceremony at their local courthouse with Sofia, but plan to have a destination wedding in Spain with the whole GSM gang once COVID travel restrictions lighten up. Sofia, a genius like both her moms and her dad, got to skip fourth grade and is loving fifth grade. She’s really excited for middle school, regularly claiming she’s all grown up now, but she’ll always be her moms’ baby girl no matter how many grades she skips or how old she gets. She has weekly FaceTime calls with Zola on her brand new phone. Arizona was staunchly against it, as The Colonel’s daughter, but seeing as Sofia took the subway on her own, Callie talked her into it.
Callie and Arizona keep up with all of their Grey-Sloan Memorial friends, past and present, but are definitely thankful to have gotten away from the drama that seemed to follow them around in Seattle. Meredith, aside from her comatose period during her battle with COVID, has done a remarkable job keeping them in the loop, with Maggie filling in when Meredith couldn’t. While Callie and Arizona couldn’t visit Meredith when she was sick, they hounded Bailey and Webber with endless phone calls for progress reports. Bailey was beyond happy to hear that the wedding she officiated ended up in a happy marriage, despite what she referred to as a little bump in the road. Richard is also happy he no longer has to be Arizona’s wingman, but the whole GSM gang still gets together for weekly trivia nights on Zoom every Wednesday, at Richard’s insistence. And whenever Callie gets into a disagreement with her soon-to-be former chief at NY Pres, one reminder that she is a close personal friend of Webber and Bailey seems to end with her getting her way. She promised she wouldn’t use that to her advantage, but she does. Her temper still gets the best of her, but not when it comes to Arizona or Sofia, which is all that really matters to Callie.
Arizona was overjoyed to hear about April’s move thousands of miles closer. She has booked train tickets to Boston for herself, Callie, and Sofia to help with the move. Sofia can distract Harriet, Arizona can be her type-A control freak self and make sure every box is put exactly where she thinks it should be, and she can stare at Callie’s ass while she carries boxes around, so, for Arizona, it’s a win-win-win-win scenario. Her apartment-warming gift to April is a very large Expedia gift card so that she feels obligated to visit Arizona often as she can get away from work. To say Arizona misses the woman she’d never have expected to become her best friend is an understatement.
Alex is still a little bitter he missed a number of years of the twins’ lives, but Arizona is helping him through that and he and Izzie are doing well. He’s, of course, the star at their dump truck Kansas hospital (not that Arizona would ever use that characterization to his face), having been Arizona’s protégé for all these years. He still calls Arizona when he needs to make a plan for a complicated case. Sometimes the cases he calls Arizona about aren’t all that complicated, but both Alex and Arizona know it’s Alex Karev’s way of checking in and catching up. He isn’t one to admit to calling people just to chat.
Cristina is hoping to make a trip out to see her god-daughter, who she still refers to as a chicken, when the pandemic restrictions relax. Until then, she and Callie talk every couple weeks, catching up on the latest groundbreaking, kick ass procedure Cristina has brilliantly invented. She says she’s married to her work, but there is a Swiss surgeon at the hospital who seems to be infatuated with Cristina, from what Callie can gather. And it appears to be mutual. Cristina is still not one to gush about boyfriends, but Callie can get bits and pieces in conversation. Every so often, Callie, Arizona, and Sofia get fancy Swiss chocolates in the mail, with a note to keep sending pictures of Aunt Cristina’s little chicken.
Addison has an open invitation to join the Robbins-Herman Center. Arizona even offered to amend the name, but Nicole was none too happy at the prospect of getting her name booted from second to third. But, again, the Robbins-Herman-Montgomery Center makes it sound like they are a man. Addison is still mulling it over, happy with her life, friends, and family in LA, but Callie and Arizona are still trying to wear her down. And Addison still regularly reminds them to thank her for Callie’s gay awakening, She was, after all, the first one to point it out.
Mark is beyond thrilled to see that all of his yelling has been working, not that he’s getting the credit. Now that Callie and Arizona woke up and aren’t missing the best part of life, Mark can enjoy watching Sofia grow up with Lexie by his side. Sofia is certainly growing into her Sloan looks, and will certainly be a heartbreaker once she gets a bit older. 
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avengerscompound ¡ 4 years ago
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The Tower: Family - 19
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The Tower: Family An Avengers Fanfic
Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //
Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)
Word Count: 2349
Warnings:  Pregnancy
Synopsis: With new powers, Thor now living on Earth full time, a wedding to plan, and Natasha and Wanda expecting, a lot is changing for Elly and her large and rather unconventional family.  When Elise’s parents try to reestablish connections, Elly questions what being a family actually means.
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Chapter 19: Names
I was just under twenty weeks pregnant when I went to have my glucose test and the ultrasound that would tell us about any major abnormalities and possibly what sex the baby was.  The twins were on one of their home days and we were taking them along too, so they could be there when they learned if the last of their new siblings would be a brother or sister.  Everyone was excited and there had been bets made on if it would be a boy or a girl.  Some people seemed to think that statistically, it would have to be a boy as there were already three girls on their way.  However, Tony, Bruce, Sam, and Bucky all knew that’s not how statistics worked and seemed to think that it would be a girl just because the universe wanted us to have to all agree on four different girls' names at the same time.
While I was waiting for the sugar drink to take effect Natasha and Wanda had their checkups.  They were now up to 28 weeks and everything was really good.  Even Wanda with the twins was looking very on track.  Both girls were growing strongly and Doctor Schroeder had no concerns at all about her getting to full term with them.
When I’d finally had my blood test and come into the examination room, Natasha and Wanda were finishing up and I was directed to get up on the table for my ultrasound.  Steve, Tony, and Bruce were in attendance.  Pietro was sitting on Bruce’s knee playing with a stethoscope, while Steve held Riley and she tried to grab every single thing that was in reach of her.
“How have you been feeling, Elise?”  Doctor Schroeder asked as I got into position and she set up the ultrasound machine.
“Good,” I said. “The morning sickness passed.  I have more energy.  They kick a lot so I don’t get worried about them too much.”
“That’s good.  And you’re keeping your stress levels low?”  She asked, squeezing some gel on my stomach.
“Well…” I said, guiltily.  “Less stress than when I was pregnant with the twins.”
She shook her head and pressed the paddle to my stomach.  “You really need to be taking care of yourself, Elise.”
“You tell that to the world,” I snarked, and she laughed as she pressed the paddle down on her stomach.
The baby came into view on the screen, looking like an actual baby right down to the fingers and toes.  “I’m assuming you’re all finding out the sex,” she said.
“Oh yeah.  I definitely want to know what flavor of spawn El is cooking,” Tony said.
“And I’m guessing you’re all hoping for a boy,” she joked.
Tony went to speak, but Steve quickly cut him off.  “We’ll all be happy either way.”
“What about you kids?”  Doctor Schroeder asked.  “Do you want this to be a brother or a sister?”
“I wanna sisder,” Riley said quickly.
“No, Wiley,” Pietro argued.  “Deres fwee sisders.  I wanna brovver.”
Doctor Schroeder started laughing.  “Well, let’s see which one of you gets your wish.”
She moved the paddle getting it into position to see better.  “Alright, if you’re placing bets, now’s the time,” she said.  Tony crossed his fingers and started chanting, “Boy, boy, boy, boy, boy.”
“And we have a…” she said slowly, dragging out the suspense for as long as possible.  “Boy.  You’re having a boy.”
“Yes!”  Tony said, pumping his fist in the air and leaning over and kissing me deeply.
“You hear that, Piet?”  Bruce asked.  “You get a brother.”
“Yay!”  Pietro said, bouncing on Bruce’s lap.
“Oh, no,” Steve said.  “We’re going to have a little mini-Tony in the family.”
I started laughing and cradled Tony’s jaw.  “I know.  Isn’t it great?”
“A boy,” Tony repeated.  “Three girls and a little boy.”
“Will this make picking names easier or harder, do you think?” I asked.
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The answer to that question was ‘harder’.  Having one boy made deciding on the name harder.
After we finished up with the doctor we met the others on the garden deck with the dogs for a kind of picnic to try and work out names. With the twins, I had been the one to decide their names.  I accepted input but no one was willing to argue with me about which names I settled on because I’d been under so much stress during the pregnancy.  This time, we were all deciding together.
Having three girls on the way meant that everyone was willing to be more open to accepting girl’s names put forward by other people because there was always another daughter to have the girl’s name they preferred.  There was only one boy and anyone that had a name they liked or was special to them wanted it to be the one used.  So while the kids played with the dogs, we all sat around arguing about names.
“Hey, hey,” Steve said, putting his hands up.  “Maybe we need to write a list.”
Tony opened up a screen that we could all see.
“So for girls we have; Sarah, Rebecca, Kate, Thour, Torunn, Ada, Lyra, Rose, and Marya,” Steve said.  “And for boys we have; Paul, Thomas, William, Módi, Edwin, Ian, George, and Alex.”
“That’s more names than kids alright,” I joked as I helped myself to an egg salad sandwich.
“Should we vote?”  Natasha asked.  “I only suggested a girl’s name and Tony only suggested a boy’s name so we might be able to work it out through votes.”
“I don’t know about that,” Bucky argued.  “Some of those names are important.  Some are just names we like.”
“Maybe people who have names they wanted to be used already should get less of a vote this time,” Wanda suggested.  “I mean, Pietro is already named for my brother.  It is only fair that the names I suggested be put at the back of the line.”
“Does that mean El doesn’t get a say this time?”  Clint asked.  “I mean, Piet and Riley were named without a vote. She just decided.”
“Whose fault is that, Clint?” I snarked.
“Right,” he said, holding his hands up.  “I know.  Sorry, I was just asking.”
“Elise gets just as much a say as everyone else,” Steve said firmly.  “She may have selected Riley and Pietro’s names but she chose them based on people who were important to some of us.”
“Daddy, daddy, daddy,” Riley said, running flat out into the group, followed by Spotty.  She slammed into Sam’s side, drawing a soft ‘oof’ from him before grabbing his arm and pulling on it.  “Come, come pway.”
“Hold on, you monster.  We’re just trying to pick the names for your new brothers and sisters,” Sam explained, picking her up and tossing her in the air.  “After I finish my lunch I’ll play.”
“Why don’t you and Pietro get in the swings and I’ll push you,” Wanda suggested.  Riley seemed to think that was a good idea as she ran back off with the dalmatian on her heels.  When she and Pietro climbed up into their toddler swings, Wanda flicked her wrist and used her telekinesis to push them.
“Is it worth noting that Sarah was a name put forward by two people and so was Rebecca?”  I asked.
“That’s a good point,” Steve agreed.
“Plus those are family ones.  I’d really like to name one of my daughters after my sister,” Bucky said.  “And it was Bruce’s mom too right, Bruce?”
Bruce nodded.  “That’s right.  I would definitely like to honor my mother.  She was the only reason I made it through infancy.”
“And I’d like to use Sarah for the same reason,” Steve agreed.
“Plus Sarah was my late sister’s name,” Sam added.
“I’m fine with Sarah and Rebecca being two of the names,” I said.
“Anyone not okay with that?”  Tony asked.  When no one argued it, he moved the names Rebecca and Sarah to a new column.
“Was there any other girl’s names that were special to us?”  Steve asked.
“Marya was my mother’s name,” Wanda said, still flicking her wrist back and forth as she swung the kids.  The sounds of the squeals floating over to us.
“And Rose was the name I chose when I had a miscarriage,” Natasha said. “I know that’s not the same thing but… I feel attached to the name.”
Clint put his arm around her and rubbed her side.
“They’re both really pretty names,” I said.  “I’d be happy with either.”
There was a murmuring of agreement from the others. Tyr who seemed to be finished playing with the kids came over and curled up on Bucky’s lap and he started playing with the spaniel’s ears.
“I guess the question would be if either of you is happy to have the name as a middle name?  And if not, do you want to hold onto it in case we have any more children in the future.”
“I can wait,” Wanda said, caressing her stomach. “Pietro was named for my brother and I want to do this again.  Maybe not for a while but I love being pregnant.”
Tony moved the name Rose under Rebecca and Marya to a completely different line.
“Alright, we’re getting somewhere,” Steve said.  “Anyone not okay with any of these girls' names being middle names?”
“If we ever use Thour, I’d like it to be a first name,” Thor said.
“Same with Kate,” Clint added, and both names were moved to the row with Marya.
“Well that leaves three names, which is exactly what we need,” Bruce said.  “So let’s just see how they sound together.”
There was a little toing and froing, and at one point Clint and Sam got up to play with the kids while we argued about how the names sounded together.  In the end, we settled on Rebecca Torunn for the baby Natasha was carrying, and Sarah Lyra and Rose Ada for the twins.
“Alright we have eight boys’ names and one boy,” Steve said.  “How are we going to do this? What names are important to us?  Ian was my grandfather and George was Bucky’s dad.”
“Paul was my dad,” Sam added.
“Edwin was Jarvis’ first name,” Tony said.
“But all of you have also had a kid or more named after someone important to you,” I reasoned.  “Has anyone not done that?”
“Well you, and you’ve carried the most babies,” Sam said playfully.
“That is true. But I did also name the twins with no discussion,” I added.  “I don’t know if I have any names that I really love anyway.  I like having the names be important to all of you.”
“Seriously though, El,” Bruce said.  “All of us have put names forward and all of us have had at least one name that was important to us used already.  Isn’t there a name you grew up loving?  Or a family member who you did love?  A grandparent maybe?”
I shook my head and shrugged a little.  “I liked the name Nova I guess,” I said.  “But I’d much rather he be Edwin or Ian or Paul than Nova.”
“Not George?  Rude,” Bucky teased.
“Come on now, Buck,” I teased back.  “You have a common name like George and you don’t even use it.”
“Oh and Paul is so… uncommon,” he snarked.
“Anyway,” I said, rolling my eyes.  “Bucky, Steve, Sam, and Bruce now all have first names for kids.  Yes, Riley’s middle name comes from Tony’s mom, but given that this baby is one he specifically asked to have, I think it’s fair that we name him Edwin unless anyone has any huge objections to that.”
“I don’t!”  Tony joked.
When no one argued with it the name Edwin moved from the maybe pile to the list under Rebecca, Sarah, and Rose.  “Alright, Eddie is gonna need a middle name,” Tony said.
“I say George,” Bucky said.  “Seeing as Elise just seriously dissed my dad’s name.”
I smothered a laugh and pushed him.  He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me back so we were both lying on the ground.  I squealed and started wrestling with him and soon the dogs and then the twins were trying to get in on the action too.  “Bucky!”  I squealed as I struggled under him.  “This isn’t how you get what you want!”
“Really?”  He asked as he started tickling me.  “I think it’s gonna work.”
“Stop it!  I’m gonna pee myself!”  I squealed.
“Daddy!  You weave mommy awone!”  Pietro said, protectively pushing Bucky to get him off me.
Bucky sat up laughing.  “Oh no, I’m sorry, peanut.  I shouldn’t be so mean to mommy should I?”
Pietro put his hands on his hips and huffed.  He looked so much like a mini Steve that it would have been easy to forget that Clint was actually his biological dad.  “Oh man,” Tony laughed.  “Cap version 2.0.”
“Thank you, Piet,” I said, pulling him into my arms and cuddling him.  “We were just playing.”
“Otay, mommy,” he said, snuggling up to me.
“Daddy Bucky wants your little brother’s name to be Edwin George Skjodbærer.  What do you think?”  I asked.
Pietro seemed to think about it for a moment and nodded his head.  “Is good.”
Steve chuckled.  “Well, I think the king has spoken.  Edwin George?”
Everyone nodded in agreement and Tony moved George next to Edwin in the list.  “That’s one more thing done,” he said.  “Now all we really need to do is stock up on baby supplies and hire the nannies.”
“There is one other thing we need to work on,” Steve said seriously and looked at me.  “We need to figure out how to get rid of El’s stress.”
I frowned and nodded.  It was definitely something I needed to work out, but I was afraid that any steps I took might just make it worse.  Whatever the case was, I need to go speak to my mother and hope that I could get some kind of closure for good.
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