#caring eskel
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thelastsimplewitcher · 11 days ago
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Guys, guess who just discovered mods? (10y later)
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BLOCKING s3 vol. 1 haters on sight i am. blocking you all ON FUCKING SIGHT!!! last season we had to deal with eskel being turned into a goddamn fucking tree and then wolf food and now with the MOST fun and MOST enjoyable and LEAST Actively Pissing On The Books season of twn since literally season one that came out before the FUCKING PANDEMIC you wanna HATE??? not having it NOT having it. we literally have the "jaskier being ciris fun uncle" content we craved post-s1 for three years and Geralt literally called him "jask" and you wanna be MEAN???? NOT on my feed no sir
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vulpinesaint · 1 year ago
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up thinking about it every fucking moment of my life
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archondorian · 3 months ago
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does anyone know of any witcher fic that includes accurate horse care. asking for a friend
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watchingwisteria · 2 years ago
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finally watching the witcher season 3 but i fear the shitshow that was season 2 killed my enthusiasm for the whole thing
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geraskierfanficprompts · 5 months ago
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I second the "Jaskier and the kaer morhen moving company" tags from dearest @penandinkprincess I want to read a fic about Jaskier getting his strapping beautiful lads
Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting
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thedemonofcat · 4 months ago
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What if Vesemir accepted Jaskier as a son-in-law in his head, only for Geralt to awkwardly explain that they’re not together.
Vesemir, who has actually grown to genuinely like the bard, “Oh… Eskel, would you be interested in the bard?”
Eskel, looking on the receiving end of a death glare from Geralt, “That’s—I’m not really looking to die—ate. To date.”
————
Geralt bursts into Jaskier’s room and is like, “YOU HAVE TO MARRY ME AND NOT MY BROTHERS”
Meanwhile, Jaskier’s baffled because he didn’t know Geralt was on the table let alone his brothers.
“You want me to marry you?” Jaskier asked, his heart pounding. He had loved Geralt for a long time, but this proposal was unexpected.
“If you don’t, one of my brothers will try to claim you,” Geralt replied. “And you’re my bard, not theirs.”
Jaskier leaned in, a teasing smile on his lips. “Alright, I’ll consider it. But only if you can tell me my name.”
Geralt remained silent for a moment, and Jaskier sighed, pulling back. “Geralt, I care about you, but you don’t really know me. I won’t marry you just to help you win some strange bet with your brothers.”
As Jaskier began to leave, Geralt gently grabbed his arm. “Julian Alfred Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove,” he said softly. “You were named after your grandfather, who passed away when you were a baby. Your sister used to call you a weed, and that’s why you started calling yourself Jaskier. You’re from Lettenhove, a coastal town in Bremervoord. Your accent slips sometimes, especially when you’re drunk.”
Jaskier stared, wide-eyed, as Geralt continued. “You can play over a hundred instruments, but you prefer the lute because it’s easy to carry. Your favorite food is strawberries, and you hate peas in your stew. Your entire family has blonde hair, but you have brown.”
Geralt reached for Jaskier’s hands, his voice tender. “I do know you, Jaskier. And when I ask you to marry me, it’s because I love you.”
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geraskierfanficprompts · 6 months ago
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Lambert and Eskel have made a game of seeing how many times they can get Geralt to rant/gush about Jaskier.
Without Geralt catching on of course.
You only get half points if Geralt is drunk. The game also stops around midwinter because it gets too easy once Geralt starts missing his bard too much.
WPGIHWAPGAIPWAHIGWP My favorite shit is the kaer morons being brothers
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inexplicifics · 4 months ago
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Hiii! So your newest story got me binging your A/B/O fics (again) and got me wondering…
If AWAU was set in A/B/O, what dynamics would the main characters be? And would it have changed anything?
Ooooh what an interesting question. Alright, let's see how I'd make the AWAU omegaverse. I'm not going to do everyone, but I'll try to hit the main characters and relationships.
Jaskier: The obvious play is to go omega, but I think that's wrong. I think he's a beta, and therefore assumed he wouldn't be vulnerable to the "send off a less-valued child as tribute" ploy. This also explains why he was allowed to go to Oxenfurt and be a bit wild while there, as an omega might not - and why he's not higher in the line of succession for the county, as an alpha son might be.
Geralt: Again, the obvious choice is alpha, due to the whole Warlord of the North thing. But he didn't do that on purpose, after all, and part of the evolution of his relationship with Jaskier is Jaskier seeing past the Warlord-of-the-North mystique to the person beneath. Also, I'm going to assume that Witchers in the omegaverse AWAU have a method of concealing their scents, so as to mitigate issues with outsiders. So I think the feared and fearsome Warlord, who everyone assumes must be alpha among alphas, dominant and terrible, is an omega.
Eskel: Alpha. Of the "care for my pack" variety, specifically - he'll work himself to the bone looking out for the people who are his. And, occasionally, go avenge them on their enemies in dramatic and extremely violent fashion. And having a demisexual alpha pleases me.
Lambert: Again, very tempting to go alpha, with that temper. But I'm going to go beta, actually. He's just bad-tempered by nature and nurture - and getting less so as his life gets better. And the fact that he wasn't an alpha is part of why his father was so willing to sell him off.
Milena: Oooh, I'm not sure where to go here. Let's go with omega, because her parents do expect her to be a nice obedient pawn for them to move around and marry off as they please. And also it gives Lambert something else to be insecure about, the poor lad. (No, she does not want an alpha. She's very happy with him. Yes, even in her heats.)
Marika: Beta. Cool-headed and calm and rational, by stereotype and nature both. She's going to be a very good queen.
Griffin: Also a beta. Has never particularly wanted to be an alpha. Is genuinely glad that he doesn't have to deal with heat or rut; they seem deeply inconvenient.
Marta: She's an alpha, which explains why their parents were so willing to cut her so much slack and indulge her in so many things. I'm not sure how inheritance rules work in this variant of omegaverse, but she may even be heir to the duchy, right up until she kidnaps Jaskier and Eskel and Milena and experiences Consequences for possibly the first time ever.
Aiden: Alpha, because it makes his preference for bottoming even more scandalous to anyone outside the Witcher society. He's a cocky, charming, dangerous man and he knows it. He does have a bit of a temper but he's good at controlling it, and it blows over quickly.
Aleksander: Also alpha, because it makes him even more like his despised grandfather and he hates it. He doesn't want to be that sort of swaggering monster. Aiden's cheerful arrogance confuses him at first, the flirtation really baffles him, and eventually he's going to settle on Eskel as his role model, because that style of looking after His People makes sense to Sasha.
Livi: Omega - Duke Velen had strong preferences. Which probably means all the Mantikittens are omegas, too. Zia is going to surprise some people.
Dragonfly: Alpha, and has recently discovered her doting instincts.
Yennefer: Null, because she's a mage; their dynamics are removed during the ascension process. That said, I think she was an omega prior to that.
Triss: Also null, because she's a mage. Probably a beta before that.
and finally, Ciri: Oooh, this is the hardest one. But I think she's an alpha. And if she takes after her Papa in ferocity and her Uncle Eskel in protectiveness, she's going to be magnificent.
That's the best I've got - anyone else got thoughts?
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It's the worst winter any of them have experienced. They all end up avoiding each other because no one can go 10 minutes without trying to bite someone else's head off.
Vesemir tells them they aren't allowed to foresake the Path, especially for a fae, and they better get their asses in gear. Cut to Vesemir in the library desperately trying to research fae summons and contacting every Witcher on the continent because that fae is one of his pups damnit. There's so few wolves left and he'll be damned if he lets one go without a fight.
As for the rest of the wolf Witchers, they are traveling the Path. It just so happens that the Path is taking them to every village that has so much as a whisper of a fae problem.
Oh your child is acting weird and you think it might be a changeling? Eskel is there to help. Strange laughter coming from the forest and a shortage of honey? Lambert would love to look into it free of charge. A particularly circular cluster of mushrooms? Geralt is already there.
Destiny is just strange like that. No, they aren't looking for anything in particular, it's just better to be safe then sorry. Plus it's a slow year for monsters. Shut up.
Cut to Jaskier, and it turns out he ran into this Cat when he went out exploring. He followed him home and got side tracked because what the fuck do you mean you live in a caravan??? No, this is not a safe and restful area. It's cold! You're all gonna get frostbite! I don't care if you're Witchers I care about the lack of blankets now put your swords away >:(
Anyways after a stressful year for the wolves, they return to Kaer Morhen to find it's been over ran with angry Cats.
Fic idea where Jaskier is a fae who keeps breaking into Kaer Morhen despite everyone's best efforts.
He doesn't want to hurt any of them (obviously), he just thinks the Witchers are cool and wants to shower them with affection. So he breaks in every winter and brings them food and helps fix up the keep and makes sure they're okay and sings them songs.
The Witchers are understandably very upset and freaked out by this random fae breaking into their home every winter. They spend so long trying to ward the keep against him, they try chasing Jaskier away, there are multiple attempts on his life. Jaskier just laughs and boops them on the nose before fluttering away. They end up reluctantly accepting him like one of those wild foxes trying to domesticate themselves.
Jaskier then starts kidnapping leading other Witchers to Kaer Morhen and the keep eventually fills up with very confused, very grumpy Witchers and a very satisfied fae who's happy with his collection.
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bookloover35 · 22 days ago
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A Witcher's Heart, Geralt Of Rivia x fem reader.
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The cold wind swept through the trees of Kaer Morhen, the ancient keep of the witchers. Snow crunched beneath boots as you walked through the courtyard, your sword strapped to your back. You'd just returned from a grueling contract, your body sore but your mind restless. You couldn't stop thinking about Geralt.
He had been your companion through decades of monster slaying, an anchor in a world that often felt too harsh and cold. Like you, he bore the scars of mutations and battles. But unlike you, Geralt of Rivia seemed to carry a piece of something you never thought a witcher could have—a heart that still beat for others.
And for years, you'd wished it could beat for you.
You knew about Yennefer. Everyone did. The sorceress with raven hair and violet eyes, a beauty who had ensnared Geralt's heart long ago. Their on-again, off-again relationship was the stuff of bardic songs. You'd told yourself to let go of the hope that Geralt might ever look at you the way he looked at her.
But then there were moments.
Moments like when he'd sought your advice after a particularly brutal fight, his golden eyes meeting yours with something akin to trust and respect. Or when he'd patched up your wounds, his hands steady and gentle as he muttered something about being careful.
It was foolish, you told yourself as you entered the great hall of Kaer Morhen. You were a witcher. You weren't meant for love.
Geralt was seated near the hearth, sharpening his silver sword. The firelight cast a warm glow over his pale features, making the white of his hair shimmer. His golden eyes lifted to meet yours, and for a moment, the world seemed to pause.
"You're back," he said, his voice low and gravelly.
"Barely," you replied, offering a wry smile. "Werewolves are getting smarter."
He chuckled, the sound rare and fleeting. "You managed, though. You always do."
You took a seat across from him, removing your gloves and stretching out your hands toward the fire. "What about you? Any new scars to show off?"
He shook his head. "Quiet week. Lambert and Eskel handled the local contracts." His eyes lingered on you, as if searching for something. "You're hurt."
"Nothing that won't heal," you replied quickly, but he was already standing, pulling out a small vial of Swallow potion from his pouch.
"Let me see."
You sighed, but there was no arguing with him. You shrugged off your armor, revealing a deep gash on your shoulder. Geralt's brows furrowed, and his touch was careful as he cleaned the wound.
"You're too reckless," he muttered.
"You sound like Vesemir."
"Maybe he's right."
His hands lingered for a moment longer than necessary, and you dared to glance up at him. His golden eyes were softer than usual, filled with something you couldn't quite name.
"Geralt..." you began, but the words caught in your throat.
He looked at you then, really looked at you, and you saw a flicker of something raw and unguarded in his expression. For a moment, you allowed yourself to believe that he might feel the same way you did.
But then the moment passed.
Geralt pulled away, corking the potion and handing it to you. "Drink this. Rest. You'll need your strength."
You took the vial, swallowing the bitter liquid. "Thanks."
The silence between you was heavy as he returned to his seat, the fire crackling softly in the background. You wanted to say something, anything, but the words refused to come.
Finally, Geralt broke the silence. "You've always been there, you know."
You blinked. "What?"
"Through all of it. You've stayed."
"Of course I have," you said, your voice steadier than you felt. "We're witchers. We look out for each other."
"It's more than that," he said quietly, his gaze fixed on the flames. "You could have left. Found a different path. But you stayed."
Your heart ached at his words. You wanted to tell him the truth—that you stayed because of him, because you couldn't imagine a life without him.
But before you could respond, the sound of boots on stone echoed through the hall.
"Geralt."
You turned to see Yennefer standing in the doorway, her dark hair framing her striking features. Her violet eyes flicked between you and Geralt, a knowing look flashing across her face.
"Yen," Geralt said, standing. His voice held a note of surprise, but also something else—relief, perhaps.
Your chest tightened as you watched him move toward her. Yennefer smiled, her gaze softening as she placed a hand on his arm.
You stood, forcing a neutral expression onto your face. "I'll leave you two to catch up."
Geralt turned to you, hesitation in his eyes. "(Y/N)—"
"I'm fine," you said quickly, grabbing your gloves. "I need to rest anyway."
Without waiting for a response, you walked away, your heart heavy.
As you climbed the stairs to your room, you told yourself that you'd made it this far without Geralt's love. You could endure it a little longer.
But deep down, you knew the truth.
You'd fought monsters, survived countless battles, and endured the loneliness of being a witcher. But the one fight you couldn't win was against your own heart.
And that might just be your greatest defeat.
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artistsfuneral · 3 months ago
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Childhood Friends AU
Jaskier and his siblings spend half of the year at his family's Summer Residence
Being the free spirit that he is, he's out of the door as soon as his lessons are over and spends most of his days exploring the surrounding lands and the forest
Whenever the boys of Kaer Morhen are done with training and chores, nobody cares what they're doing, so Geralt and Eskel slip away into the woods
Jaskier meets Geralt and Eskel in the forest
There's some apprehension at first, Geralt and Eskel look at Jaskier and see a posh little boy with no muscles whatsoever and clothes expensive enough to feed their cohort - meanwhile Jaskier looks at these two disheveled boys with dirt smudged against their cheeks and eyes that feel a bit too much like those of his father's hunting dogs
But then Jaskier smiles and asks if they want to see something cool and soon three little boys are tracking through the forest, climbing over fallen logs and crawling through bushes and brambles and a tight bond of friendship forms between them
Year after year after year they meet up almost daily
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endiness · 5 months ago
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not to go off on this again (and because of a bullshit clickbait article from screenrant as if that isn't their entire business model in the first place) but it's still so fucking mindboggling to me just how much henry cavill was able to brainwash people. like, the idea that he was the one that made the show and he was the only good thing about it and the only good casting choice when he was very noticeably the worst actor on the entire show and meanwhile the rest of the cast is extremely talented and easily acted circles around him. not to mention that he has all the charisma of a black hole sucking all of the chemistry out of the room.
and the whole idea that he is some uber fan of the franchise and the only person on the entire show that knows anything about the source material and cares about it which is also always said in conjunction with the idea that he's the one who made the show. when he didn't even know that the books existed, he only read them once after lauren told him about them, he's only played tw3 (and not even the dlc for it), and by his own admission he didn't do any research for the role. and then meanwhile you've got joey who wrote a whole ass song in ~24 hours and showed up in costume with a lute to audition and who's read the entire series at least 3 times as of 2023; therica, whose books are all annotated and she tries to go back and reread the series before each season and even goes on youtube to watch video essays to refresh her memories; cassie, who has a binder full of notes on philippa and her backstory and everything; and many, many other cast members who've done a lot of research into the books and their characters and the universe and the franchise. but somehow henry cavill is the massive superfan. because he said that a lot in interviews. while never actually giving any examples of that beyond, like, having said he played tw3 for a ton of hours. (which, duh, 'cause a playthrough of that game can easily clock in at +100 hours.)
and speaking of the idea that he just cares SO much about the source material and that's why he ragequit the show because the writers weren't following the books closely enough, likE. he is the one who made geralt's characterization book inaccurate in s1 because he would cut his lines and either just say nothing or grunt instead. (and he also gave his scene partners zero indication he was going to do this and just left them hanging and wondering what was going on and if he was actually going to say his lines and put them into the position of having to improvise and take his lines just to move the plot forward.) and the only reason why he suddenly started to advocate for a more book accurate geralt come s2 is because he got dunked on by reddit for his performance in s1. (which he also took virtually no responsibility for whatsoever and just passed all of the blame off onto the writers for HIS acting choices. wait, that's not entirely accurate. he also blamed yennefer and ciri's prominence on geralt's lack of dialogue even though ciri's scenes were the ones that were cut in s1. yennefer's, too, btw.) he also fucked up geralt and jaskier's friendship by cutting his lines in s1 (and imo there is a lot of implication that the things he was cutting in their scenes was actual affirmation on geralt's side of things that he actually cares about jaskier) and by his own admission, he didn't want to play them as being all buddy-buddy with each other. and his refusal to play geralt struggling with fatherhood and with any negative character traits in s2 led to the domino effect of eskel's death (which in itself led to vesemir trying to create new witchers and lambert's harsher attitude toward ciri), yennefer's betrayal, and voleth meir being the big bad of the season. he also cut a sex scene between geralt and yennefer in s2 because he didn't think it would be in character of them to have sex after reuniting (lolwut) and he cut a scene between geralt and triss of even them just platonically finding comfort in each other (that's what happens in the books.) but yeah, HE just cares about the source material SO MUCH. that's why everything he had a hand in went against the books.
(not to mention that the thing he was clashing with lauren over was that he was not the main character (ciri is the main character of the main books, btw) but rather co-lead with two women and he was mad that the show heavily revolves around women (the books heavily revolve around women) instead of men.) (in s2 interviews, he goes on about how important men being three dimensional characters is to him as if women being three dimensional characters on the show somehow means that men can't be. which is ironic of him to say anyway, tbh, considering he didn't want geralt to be a three dimensional character. as three dimensional characters have flaws. and he didn't want geralt to have any.) (oh, and just to mention but when talking about how violent men can be three dimensional and caring, henry cavill lists who men can be caring towards: other men, family, children. weird he doesn't mention women at all. i'm sure that's not an indication of anything especially when it's said by someone who's a self-professed nerd, lorebuff, redditor, and gamer. because they're always known for non-rancid takes about women. especially when they've already gotten flack for their "i'm afraid to flirt because i'll be accused of being a rapist" #metoo takes. 💅)
(also, just with the conspiracy theory that henry cavill ragequit the show because it wasn't following the books closely enough. like, that is just a conspiracy theory though. the only "proof" there ever was of it was henry cavill going on about how important adhering to the source material is to him. except everything he had a hand in went against the books, so that can't be true. and the thing he and lauren were clashing over was how he was not the main character (geralt is not the main character) and the prominence of women in the series (the women in the books drive the plot forward in massive ways). so that can't be true. and s3 was the closest adaption of the books anyway, so yeah. that really can't be true. and the only other thing that's "proof" is the rumor that the writers hate the source material. which was started by henry cavill's buddy, a writer who was fired from the show for allegedly being emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive. so i'm sure his word is totally trustworthy and he wouldn't have a vested interest in lying and creating a rumor to incite the fanbase against his former co-workers whom he was allegedly fired for mistreating in the first place. (btw, witin the past year, the same writer was fired again for allegedly the same kind of reasons.) also, i'm sure it's jut a coincidence how that rumor, which was started by henry cavill's friend, to disparage the show and the writers dropped about a week before henry cavill announced he was no longer going to be on the show. like, it definitely couldn't've been a coordinated effort between them or anything.) (psst, the rumor that hc was fired for being sexist actually has the most evidence supporting it. js.)
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queenxxxsupreme · 1 year ago
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Rare Encounters (Jaskier x f!witcher!reader)
A/N: hi guys…. I finished Fallout the tv show and it gave me that urge to write that I haven’t had in a while. Now fingers crossed that it works for the long run. Once I can get a good feel for the Fallout universe, my ass will 100% be writing fallout fics 😂
Warnings: nothing outside of canon
Summary: Jaskier meets his first female witcher.
“I swear, you all live like fucking pigs.” You grumbled as you picked up the empty tankards and bowls.
“Oh, just relax, Y/N.” Lambert spoke from across the room. He sat at a table with most of the other wolves as they told stories and carried on. “No one cares what this place looks like.”
“I do, as should you.” You placed the dirty dishes on to the end of one of the empty tables. “Who is going to be doing dishes tonight?”
All of the wolves diverted their eyes away from you.
“Oh come on, boys. It’s just dishes. You’ve done worse, I’m sure of it.”
“I’d rather gut an ekimorra than do house chores.” Coen shook his head.
“Alright. Well then, I’ll just choose for myself who will be the lucky one.”
“When are ya goin’ to get eaten by a cockatrice or something, Y/N?” The redhead wolf teased. “All this nagging you do is–,”
With a flick of your wrist and a sign of aard, Lambert was sent backwards off of the bench. You grinned just a little.
“You fucking–,” He signed aard back at you the second he was on his feet, but you were quick to sign quen, blocking his attack.
“Don’t start that this early in the winter, Lambert.” Vesemir scolded him as he moved to sit next to Coen.
“Me?” Lambert raised his brows. “She’s the one who started it!”
The doors to the keep opened, bringing in a rush of cold wind. You looked up to see Geralt, a man, and a girl walking in.
The wolves fell silent as Geralt pushed the hood off of his head. A fond smile came to his lips.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Lambert stood to his feet and took a few steps towards his brother. Coen followed.
“We thought you were dead, or lost.”
“Not yet.” Geralt embraced Coen first and then Lambert.
All the other wolves soon took their turn greeting their fellow witcher.
“Y/N.” He said your name fondly. “Glad to see you didn’t let Lambert get you killed on the path.”
“I about killed her myself a couple times.” Lambert glared at you. “She’s like having a second Vesemir around, except some how she’s worse!”
You gave him a shove away from you, rolling your eyes.
“That’s the last time I spend time with you on the path.” Your words were directed to Lambert while you gave Geralt a hug. “Now I have to spend the entire winter in this gods damned keep with him too.”
“Have you seen Eskel, Geralt?” Lambert returned to his seat.
“He’s not here?” Geralt furrowed his brow.
“Haven’t seen any sign of him.” Coen shook his head. “Usually he’s one of the first one’s here, but hasn’t made it this year.”
“Hmm.”
“Wolf. You’re home.” Vesemir was the last to greet the White Wolf.
“I had to make a few stops.” Geralt looked back to the girl and the man to his left.
Your eyes fell on her. Your medallion had trembled when she first entered the room and even now, you could still feel the chaos radiating off of her. She seemed curious, bright eyes taking in every witcher around her. Then she looked at you. You held her gaze, lifting your chin just a little in acknowledgement.
You turned to continue cleaning up the mess the wolves left behind as introductions were made between Geralt’s guests and the wolves.
“And who might she be?” Jaskier asked Geralt as you picked up an empty pitcher from the table the wolves sat at.
“Y/N here is the maid of the keep.” Lambert answered for you. His eyes followed you as you moved around the table, a little grin playing on his lips. “Helps keep everything all nice and clean for us men.”
You launched the pitcher at his head. He dodged to the side, nearly pushing Coen off of the bench in the process.
“You’re going to get yourself into trouble this winter, Lambert.” Vesemir warned him.
“This is Y/N.” Geralt introduced you properly. He and his guests took a seat at the table with the rest of the wolves. “She’s our sister.”
“Sister?” Ciri repeated, furrowing her brows. “As in a witcher?”
“It would seem that way.” You confirmed with a slight nod and a sigh.
“That’s absolutely amazing!” Jaskier exclaimed. “A lady witcher.”
“I think calling her a lady may be overselling it.” Coen snickered.
“Yeah, she ain’t no lady.” Lambert added.
You moved to lean in between him and Coen, reaching for an empty plate. As you were turning away from the table, you made sure to purposefully smack both of the wolves in the head with the plate.
“Fuck!”
“Why don’t you boys make yourselves useful and go do these dishes before they get out of hand?” You placed the bin of dirty dishes down in front of Coen.
They grumbled but decided not to fight it. If they did dishes now, they wouldn’t have to do them later. Or so they thought.
“You’ve never mentioned that you had a sister, Geralt.”
The White Wolf grumbled in his chest as he looked at his bard. It was a warning. He knew very well how Jaskier was with the opposite sex.
“Geralt doesn’t like to do such a thing.” You settled with sitting at the end of a bench at one of the tables. “I would take away all the spotlight from the grand White Wolf. If word got out about a lady witcher, why, the White Wolf wouldn’t be so exciting, now would he?”
Geralt rolled his eyes at you as he moved to the table that had a jug of ale and mugs. He poured himself a mug and then returned to sit across from you.
“If it wouldn’t be too much, I would absolutely love to hear more about you.” Jaskier sat down just beside Geralt. He leaned against the table with both hands and his voice oozed with excitement. “You see, I am a bard by trade. Perhaps you’ve heard some of my work.”
You gazed into his blue eyes, a grin tugging at the corner of your scarred lips.
“You’re a brave soul, bard.”
He smiled a bit bashfully, cheeks flushing light pink.
“Why, thank you.”
“It wasn’t a compliment.” Geralt told him. His words made Jaskier’s smile drop.
“What? Of-Of course it was!”
“It was more of an observation, bard.” You said. “Not many could come to a witcher’s keep and ask a witcher to share her war stories just moments after meeting her.”
“Jaskier has no fear.” Geralt sighed.
“Well, I-I wouldn’t say that. I have plenty of fear.”
You smiled a little at the bard.
“How was the Path this year?” Geralt changed the subject. “I can’t imagine spending the whole year with Lambert was pleasant.”
“Oh, it was anything but pleasant.” You let out a small breath, scratching your fingertips over a groove in the wooden tabletop. “I’d rather have my eyes gouged out with spoons than spend that much time with him.”
Geralt chuckled a little.
“Y/N!” You heard Coen shout your name from the kitchen. You turned your head to the side, listening closely to what was going on.
Geralt furrowed his brows a little and tilted his head. He could also hear the roughhousing going on in the kitchen.
“Ah, fuck.” You grunted, pushing yourself to your feet.
“Is something wrong?” Jaskier asked you.
“My brothers are fools. Excuse me, bard. Princess.”
Jaskier watched as you crossed the room and disappeared behind a heavy wooden door. He didn’t realize he had been staring for too long until the White Wolf grumbled.
The bard turned his head to his traveling companion, brows falling and lips pressing together in a line as he found the witcher glaring at him.
“What?”
“Don’t think about it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You get that same look in your eye when we go to banquets. That same look has gotten you nearly killed for bedding the wrong woman.”
“Geralt! Have a little faith in me! That is your sister for crying out loud! I-I would— I would never—,”
“Unfortunately, I know you too well, Jaskier.”
Jaskier found himself looking back to the door you had disappeared through. A sheepish smile crossed his lips.
“She is rather stunning, isn’t she?”
“Jaskier.”
“It’s a compliment!”
Geralt shook his head.
“She will rip you to pieces.”
“Isn’t that the hope?” Jaskier grinned.
“Gross.” Ciri scrunched her nose up. She had been so quiet that Jaskier almost forgot that they were in the company of the young girl.
“Sorry, Ciri.”
***
You carried a mug in one hand as you left the kitchen. It had been a few hours since Geralt and his guests had arrived. By now, night had fallen on Kaer Morhen. Lambert was preparing a late dinner for everyone. Coen and Vesemir were fixing a fallen shelf in the library. Ciri was in the library reading through a few books to pass time.
Geralt and Jaskier were just getting back in from checking on the horses.
“So I see you changed your mind about your Child Surprise.” You spoke. Your voice reverberated off of the walls.
“Didn’t have much of a choice. Cintra was overtaken by Nilfgard. She has no one.”
“Well, now she has us.” You took a seat on a bench but kept your back to the table. Geralt and Jaskier sat the same way, with their backs to the table just across from you.
A door across the room creaked as it was opened. Being that the door was behind you, you had to turn your head and your upper half to be able to see Vesemir.
“Where’s Ciri?” Geralt asked him.
“Left her in the library. She seemed rather interested in an old beastiary.” Vesemir poured himself a mug of ale.
“To think we have a princess here in the walls of Kaer Morhen.” You shook your head, finishing off the last bit of your drink. “This winter is going to be an interesting one.”
“She isn’t the first princess here.” Geralt said. Your eyes met his briefly before you looked away.
“What does that mean?” Jaskier looked to Geralt for an explanation.
“Oh, it doesn’t matter.” Vesemir took a seat next to you. “All that matters is we don’t try to kill each other this winter.”
“Lambert is at the very top of my list.” You told him. “The first chance I get, I’m going to suffocate him in his sleep.”
“Y/N.” Vesemir scolded.
“Where do you hail from, Y/N?” Jaskier asked you.
“Ard Carraigh, though that was more than a lifetime ago.” You looked down at your empty tankard.
The sound of the horses out in the stables made you turn your head towards the door. You furrowed your brows, unsure of what had them stirring.
“Something’s bothering the horses.” Geralt grunted.
“I will go see to it.” Vesemir sighed as he stood to his feet.
“Do you want one of us to come with you?” You asked him.
“No need. I don’t think it’s that much of a concern.”
You watched the old witcher leave through the heavy front door.
“I should go check on Ciri.” Geralt thought out loud.
“There can’t be too much she’d get into trouble with.” You said. “Nothing up there other than rats the size of a foal.”
“You’d be surprised with Ciri. She can find trouble out of thin air.” He stood up. “Don’t stir up any trouble while I’m gone, Jaskier.”
“You have too little faith in me, Geralt!”
The White Wolf rolled his eyes but said nothing as he walked away. Your eyes followed him until he disappeared through a door that led to the rest of the keep.
“How long have you….” Jaskier trailed off, unsure of the right words to use. “Have you been a witcher long?”
“Are you asking my age, bard?”
“No, no! I’d never ask a lady such a thing.” He chuckled nervously. “I assume that if you have been a witcher for very long, I would have known about you. Or heard about you at some point in time.”
You stood up and moved seats, choosing instead to sit beside the bard. He shifted in his seat, clearly nervous by your sudden close presence.
“It’s been decades since I came here to Kaer Morhen.” You looked upwards to the high ceilings. “Before the sacking.”
”What was it like? Before the- Before the sacking?” Jaskier turned his head to you. He admired your side profile, blue eyes mapping out your facial features. The curve of your nose down to the shape of your lips.
Your attention was shifted to him. It was then that you noticed he was practically staring at your lips. You smiled a little, causing him to look up at your eyes. His cheeks turned pink and he chuckled nervously.
”My-My apologizes.”
”It was nothing grand.” You answered his question as you rose to your feet. “I need more drink. Would you like to come with me?”
”Yes.” Jaskier answered a little too quickly.
He followed behind you like a puppy. You looked over your shoulder to him, the twinkle in your eyes making his heart race. Gods, you were a beauty.
You pushed the door to the kitchen open but before Jaskier could follow you inside, Lambert and Coen were coming out.
“What are you doing, barker?” Coen asked.
“Just— I was just—,”
”Leave him alone, Coen.” You called from just inside the kitchen. Jaskier couldn’t see you because of the wall the two large witchers were forming, blocking you from him.
The boys laughed, their boisterous voices echoing throughout the room. Lambert clapped his hand down on Jaskier’s shoulder as they passed him. Jaskier was just a little confused.
”They are, uh, quite the pair, aren’t they?”
”A pair of jackasses is what they are.” You shook your head.
“Big brothers are like that. I have four.”
”Sounds horrendous.” You poured a second mug of ale and passed it to the bard. “Do you have any other siblings?”
”An older sister and a younger sister.”
”Seven children?” You raised your brows as you leaned against the wooden counter. “Yikes.”
”Yeah.” He chuckled lightly. He leaned against the counter beside you. “Always had a big family.”
”I was one of the last witchers to ever be made, so I suppose I’ve only ever had older brothers.” You took a sip of the ale. ”Couldn’t imagine it any other way. They irritate the piss out of me, but they’re my brothers.”
”They are good men.” Jaskier nodded. “Albeit, annoying. But good men.”
You found yourself gaze at the barker. He was stunning. Warm skin, dark curly hair, even darker eyelashes, and bright icy blue eyes that contrasted his features so nicely. He was a pleasure to gaze at.
The door to the kitchen opened and there stood Geralt.
Jaskier hurried to move, taking a step to the side to put space between himself and you.
“Ah, Geralt!”
The White Wolf offered a low grumble before he looked to you.
”Eskel is home. He doesn’t look good.”
“Is he okay?” You furrowed your eyebrows together. Your drink as discarded on the counter as you hurried to leave the kitchen.
”Vesemir has him in the infirmary.”
You slipped past the witcher and hurried away.
Geralt waited until your footsteps had disappeared down the staircase. Then he turned his attention to Jaskier. He crossed his arms over his chest, appearing even more intimidating than usual.
“Oh, come on, Geralt! Don’t look at me like that!”
”Y/N is—,”
”She is your sister! And you, you are my closest friend!” Jaskier moved to stand in front of Geralt. He placed his hands on Geralt’s biceps and attempted to shake the man but Geralt didn’t budge. “I wouldn’t dream of ever crossing you like that—,”
”Jaskier.” Geralt almost rolled his eyes. ”Get your hands off of me.”
”She is rather friendly though.” Jaskier clasped his hands behind his back as he slipped around the stocky witcher to leave the kitchen. “Very chatty too. Unlike you, you cranky old man.”
Geralt turned around to watch his friend as he started to walk away.
“Jaskier.”
”Yes, Geralt?” Jaskier turned on his toes to face him.
”Just be careful.”
The bard didn’t know what to expect, but that wasn’t it. He furrowed his brows and tilted his head to the side just a bit.
“Uh, o-okay, Geralt.”
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dirtycombatboots · 9 days ago
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Jaskier, feeling especially degenerate and in need of coin, writes pornographic romance novels. They are atrocious, the bard didn't even care enough to actually put effort into it. They are published under fake name and become extremely successful, Jaskier himself is surprised. They are fifty shades level of quality and popularity. And, of course, they are about witchers.
"Brooding Passion" describes a witcher named Roger, with white hair, talking horse and insatiable attraction to sorceresses who ride unicorns. Obviously, its about Geralt and Yenn. Multiple versions of Yenn.
"Saving baroness" is about a midget witcher with receding hairline and atrocious personality, engaging in orgies with mother, daughter and grandmother of the same noble family. Lambert, Lambert, what a prick
"Monstrous appetites" is the worst. Estelle, a female witcher with horrible scars, instead of slaying monsters fucks them. It has every fetish associated with mosterfucking. Poor Eskel.
Those novels are especially popular among sorceresses. Yennefer takes great pleasure in making jokes alluring to them, while Geralt remains completely oblivious.
Jaskier is enjoying great amounts of coin that his questionable literature brings him. Until witchers find out. Who is faster: Roach, or scared bard?
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windflowerofskellige · 9 months ago
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Currently drawing my book!Eskel headcanons and I'm drawing the semi-circular scar that moves from the corner of his mouth up his cheek and to his ear and like??? It's always struck me as an interesting scar for a witcher to have because that's a scar you'd get if you were tortured. Someone TORTURED that witcher and made careful care to ruin his face and like. That's just a side detail. I love these books for their side details that could be entire main details if it were a different story.
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