#caring eskel
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BLOCKING s3 vol. 1 haters on sight i am. blocking you all ON FUCKING SIGHT!!! last season we had to deal with eskel being turned into a goddamn fucking tree and then wolf food and now with the MOST fun and MOST enjoyable and LEAST Actively Pissing On The Books season of twn since literally season one that came out before the FUCKING PANDEMIC you wanna HATE??? not having it NOT having it. we literally have the "jaskier being ciris fun uncle" content we craved post-s1 for three years and Geralt literally called him "jask" and you wanna be MEAN???? NOT on my feed no sir
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vulpinesaint · 11 months ago
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up thinking about it every fucking moment of my life
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archondorian · 2 months ago
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does anyone know of any witcher fic that includes accurate horse care. asking for a friend
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watchingwisteria · 2 years ago
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finally watching the witcher season 3 but i fear the shitshow that was season 2 killed my enthusiasm for the whole thing
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geraskierfanficprompts · 4 months ago
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I second the "Jaskier and the kaer morhen moving company" tags from dearest @penandinkprincess I want to read a fic about Jaskier getting his strapping beautiful lads
Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting
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thedemonofcat · 3 months ago
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What if Vesemir accepted Jaskier as a son-in-law in his head, only for Geralt to awkwardly explain that they’re not together.
Vesemir, who has actually grown to genuinely like the bard, “Oh… Eskel, would you be interested in the bard?”
Eskel, looking on the receiving end of a death glare from Geralt, “That’s—I’m not really looking to die—ate. To date.”
————
Geralt bursts into Jaskier’s room and is like, “YOU HAVE TO MARRY ME AND NOT MY BROTHERS”
Meanwhile, Jaskier’s baffled because he didn’t know Geralt was on the table let alone his brothers.
“You want me to marry you?” Jaskier asked, his heart pounding. He had loved Geralt for a long time, but this proposal was unexpected.
“If you don’t, one of my brothers will try to claim you,” Geralt replied. “And you’re my bard, not theirs.”
Jaskier leaned in, a teasing smile on his lips. “Alright, I’ll consider it. But only if you can tell me my name.”
Geralt remained silent for a moment, and Jaskier sighed, pulling back. “Geralt, I care about you, but you don’t really know me. I won’t marry you just to help you win some strange bet with your brothers.”
As Jaskier began to leave, Geralt gently grabbed his arm. “Julian Alfred Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove,” he said softly. “You were named after your grandfather, who passed away when you were a baby. Your sister used to call you a weed, and that’s why you started calling yourself Jaskier. You’re from Lettenhove, a coastal town in Bremervoord. Your accent slips sometimes, especially when you’re drunk.”
Jaskier stared, wide-eyed, as Geralt continued. “You can play over a hundred instruments, but you prefer the lute because it’s easy to carry. Your favorite food is strawberries, and you hate peas in your stew. Your entire family has blonde hair, but you have brown.”
Geralt reached for Jaskier’s hands, his voice tender. “I do know you, Jaskier. And when I ask you to marry me, it’s because I love you.”
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inexplicifics · 3 months ago
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Hiii! So your newest story got me binging your A/B/O fics (again) and got me wondering…
If AWAU was set in A/B/O, what dynamics would the main characters be? And would it have changed anything?
Ooooh what an interesting question. Alright, let's see how I'd make the AWAU omegaverse. I'm not going to do everyone, but I'll try to hit the main characters and relationships.
Jaskier: The obvious play is to go omega, but I think that's wrong. I think he's a beta, and therefore assumed he wouldn't be vulnerable to the "send off a less-valued child as tribute" ploy. This also explains why he was allowed to go to Oxenfurt and be a bit wild while there, as an omega might not - and why he's not higher in the line of succession for the county, as an alpha son might be.
Geralt: Again, the obvious choice is alpha, due to the whole Warlord of the North thing. But he didn't do that on purpose, after all, and part of the evolution of his relationship with Jaskier is Jaskier seeing past the Warlord-of-the-North mystique to the person beneath. Also, I'm going to assume that Witchers in the omegaverse AWAU have a method of concealing their scents, so as to mitigate issues with outsiders. So I think the feared and fearsome Warlord, who everyone assumes must be alpha among alphas, dominant and terrible, is an omega.
Eskel: Alpha. Of the "care for my pack" variety, specifically - he'll work himself to the bone looking out for the people who are his. And, occasionally, go avenge them on their enemies in dramatic and extremely violent fashion. And having a demisexual alpha pleases me.
Lambert: Again, very tempting to go alpha, with that temper. But I'm going to go beta, actually. He's just bad-tempered by nature and nurture - and getting less so as his life gets better. And the fact that he wasn't an alpha is part of why his father was so willing to sell him off.
Milena: Oooh, I'm not sure where to go here. Let's go with omega, because her parents do expect her to be a nice obedient pawn for them to move around and marry off as they please. And also it gives Lambert something else to be insecure about, the poor lad. (No, she does not want an alpha. She's very happy with him. Yes, even in her heats.)
Marika: Beta. Cool-headed and calm and rational, by stereotype and nature both. She's going to be a very good queen.
Griffin: Also a beta. Has never particularly wanted to be an alpha. Is genuinely glad that he doesn't have to deal with heat or rut; they seem deeply inconvenient.
Marta: She's an alpha, which explains why their parents were so willing to cut her so much slack and indulge her in so many things. I'm not sure how inheritance rules work in this variant of omegaverse, but she may even be heir to the duchy, right up until she kidnaps Jaskier and Eskel and Milena and experiences Consequences for possibly the first time ever.
Aiden: Alpha, because it makes his preference for bottoming even more scandalous to anyone outside the Witcher society. He's a cocky, charming, dangerous man and he knows it. He does have a bit of a temper but he's good at controlling it, and it blows over quickly.
Aleksander: Also alpha, because it makes him even more like his despised grandfather and he hates it. He doesn't want to be that sort of swaggering monster. Aiden's cheerful arrogance confuses him at first, the flirtation really baffles him, and eventually he's going to settle on Eskel as his role model, because that style of looking after His People makes sense to Sasha.
Livi: Omega - Duke Velen had strong preferences. Which probably means all the Mantikittens are omegas, too. Zia is going to surprise some people.
Dragonfly: Alpha, and has recently discovered her doting instincts.
Yennefer: Null, because she's a mage; their dynamics are removed during the ascension process. That said, I think she was an omega prior to that.
Triss: Also null, because she's a mage. Probably a beta before that.
and finally, Ciri: Oooh, this is the hardest one. But I think she's an alpha. And if she takes after her Papa in ferocity and her Uncle Eskel in protectiveness, she's going to be magnificent.
That's the best I've got - anyone else got thoughts?
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geraskierfanficprompts · 5 months ago
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Lambert and Eskel have made a game of seeing how many times they can get Geralt to rant/gush about Jaskier.
Without Geralt catching on of course.
You only get half points if Geralt is drunk. The game also stops around midwinter because it gets too easy once Geralt starts missing his bard too much.
WPGIHWAPGAIPWAHIGWP My favorite shit is the kaer morons being brothers
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artistsfuneral · 2 months ago
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Childhood Friends AU
Jaskier and his siblings spend half of the year at his family's Summer Residence
Being the free spirit that he is, he's out of the door as soon as his lessons are over and spends most of his days exploring the surrounding lands and the forest
Whenever the boys of Kaer Morhen are done with training and chores, nobody cares what they're doing, so Geralt and Eskel slip away into the woods
Jaskier meets Geralt and Eskel in the forest
There's some apprehension at first, Geralt and Eskel look at Jaskier and see a posh little boy with no muscles whatsoever and clothes expensive enough to feed their cohort - meanwhile Jaskier looks at these two disheveled boys with dirt smudged against their cheeks and eyes that feel a bit too much like those of his father's hunting dogs
But then Jaskier smiles and asks if they want to see something cool and soon three little boys are tracking through the forest, climbing over fallen logs and crawling through bushes and brambles and a tight bond of friendship forms between them
Year after year after year they meet up almost daily
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endiness · 4 months ago
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not to go off on this again (and because of a bullshit clickbait article from screenrant as if that isn't their entire business model in the first place) but it's still so fucking mindboggling to me just how much henry cavill was able to brainwash people. like, the idea that he was the one that made the show and he was the only good thing about it and the only good casting choice when he was very noticeably the worst actor on the entire show and meanwhile the rest of the cast is extremely talented and easily acted circles around him. not to mention that he has all the charisma of a black hole sucking all of the chemistry out of the room.
and the whole idea that he is some uber fan of the franchise and the only person on the entire show that knows anything about the source material and cares about it which is also always said in conjunction with the idea that he's the one who made the show. when he didn't even know that the books existed, he only read them once after lauren told him about them, he's only played tw3 (and not even the dlc for it), and by his own admission he didn't do any research for the role. and then meanwhile you've got joey who wrote a whole ass song in ~24 hours and showed up in costume with a lute to audition and who's read the entire series at least 3 times as of 2023; therica, whose books are all annotated and she tries to go back and reread the series before each season and even goes on youtube to watch video essays to refresh her memories; cassie, who has a binder full of notes on philippa and her backstory and everything; and many, many other cast members who've done a lot of research into the books and their characters and the universe and the franchise. but somehow henry cavill is the massive superfan. because he said that a lot in interviews. while never actually giving any examples of that beyond, like, having said he played tw3 for a ton of hours. (which, duh, 'cause a playthrough of that game can easily clock in at +100 hours.)
and speaking of the idea that he just cares SO much about the source material and that's why he ragequit the show because the writers weren't following the books closely enough, likE. he is the one who made geralt's characterization book inaccurate in s1 because he would cut his lines and either just say nothing or grunt instead. (and he also gave his scene partners zero indication he was going to do this and just left them hanging and wondering what was going on and if he was actually going to say his lines and put them into the position of having to improvise and take his lines just to move the plot forward.) and the only reason why he suddenly started to advocate for a more book accurate geralt come s2 is because he got dunked on by reddit for his performance in s1. (which he also took virtually no responsibility for whatsoever and just passed all of the blame off onto the writers for HIS acting choices. wait, that's not entirely accurate. he also blamed yennefer and ciri's prominence on geralt's lack of dialogue even though ciri's scenes were the ones that were cut in s1. yennefer's, too, btw.) he also fucked up geralt and jaskier's friendship by cutting his lines in s1 (and imo there is a lot of implication that the things he was cutting in their scenes was actual affirmation on geralt's side of things that he actually cares about jaskier) and by his own admission, he didn't want to play them as being all buddy-buddy with each other. and his refusal to play geralt struggling with fatherhood and with any negative character traits in s2 led to the domino effect of eskel's death (which in itself led to vesemir trying to create new witchers and lambert's harsher attitude toward ciri), yennefer's betrayal, and voleth meir being the big bad of the season. he also cut a sex scene between geralt and yennefer in s2 because he didn't think it would be in character of them to have sex after reuniting (lolwut) and he cut a scene between geralt and triss of even them just platonically finding comfort in each other (that's what happens in the books.) but yeah, HE just cares about the source material SO MUCH. that's why everything he had a hand in went against the books.
(not to mention that the thing he was clashing with lauren over was that he was not the main character (ciri is the main character of the main books, btw) but rather co-lead with two women and he was mad that the show heavily revolves around women (the books heavily revolve around women) instead of men.) (in s2 interviews, he goes on about how important men being three dimensional characters is to him as if women being three dimensional characters on the show somehow means that men can't be. which is ironic of him to say anyway, tbh, considering he didn't want geralt to be a three dimensional character. as three dimensional characters have flaws. and he didn't want geralt to have any.) (oh, and just to mention but when talking about how violent men can be three dimensional and caring, henry cavill lists who men can be caring towards: other men, family, children. weird he doesn't mention women at all. i'm sure that's not an indication of anything especially when it's said by someone who's a self-professed nerd, lorebuff, redditor, and gamer. because they're always known for non-rancid takes about women. especially when they've already gotten flack for their "i'm afraid to flirt because i'll be accused of being a rapist" #metoo takes. 💅)
(also, just with the conspiracy theory that henry cavill ragequit the show because it wasn't following the books closely enough. like, that is just a conspiracy theory though. the only "proof" there ever was of it was henry cavill going on about how important adhering to the source material is to him. except everything he had a hand in went against the books, so that can't be true. and the thing he and lauren were clashing over was how he was not the main character (geralt is not the main character) and the prominence of women in the series (the women in the books drive the plot forward in massive ways). so that can't be true. and s3 was the closest adaption of the books anyway, so yeah. that really can't be true. and the only other thing that's "proof" is the rumor that the writers hate the source material. which was started by henry cavill's buddy, a writer who was fired from the show for allegedly being emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive. so i'm sure his word is totally trustworthy and he wouldn't have a vested interest in lying and creating a rumor to incite the fanbase against his former co-workers whom he was allegedly fired for mistreating in the first place. (btw, witin the past year, the same writer was fired again for allegedly the same kind of reasons.) also, i'm sure it's jut a coincidence how that rumor, which was started by henry cavill's friend, to disparage the show and the writers dropped about a week before henry cavill announced he was no longer going to be on the show. like, it definitely couldn't've been a coordinated effort between them or anything.) (psst, the rumor that hc was fired for being sexist actually has the most evidence supporting it. js.)
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queenxxxsupreme · 1 year ago
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Rare Encounters (Jaskier x f!witcher!reader)
A/N: hi guys…. I finished Fallout the tv show and it gave me that urge to write that I haven’t had in a while. Now fingers crossed that it works for the long run. Once I can get a good feel for the Fallout universe, my ass will 100% be writing fallout fics 😂
Warnings: nothing outside of canon
Summary: Jaskier meets his first female witcher.
“I swear, you all live like fucking pigs.” You grumbled as you picked up the empty tankards and bowls.
“Oh, just relax, Y/N.” Lambert spoke from across the room. He sat at a table with most of the other wolves as they told stories and carried on. “No one cares what this place looks like.”
“I do, as should you.” You placed the dirty dishes on to the end of one of the empty tables. “Who is going to be doing dishes tonight?”
All of the wolves diverted their eyes away from you.
“Oh come on, boys. It’s just dishes. You’ve done worse, I’m sure of it.”
“I’d rather gut an ekimorra than do house chores.” Coen shook his head.
“Alright. Well then, I’ll just choose for myself who will be the lucky one.”
“When are ya goin’ to get eaten by a cockatrice or something, Y/N?” The redhead wolf teased. “All this nagging you do is��,”
With a flick of your wrist and a sign of aard, Lambert was sent backwards off of the bench. You grinned just a little.
“You fucking–,” He signed aard back at you the second he was on his feet, but you were quick to sign quen, blocking his attack.
“Don’t start that this early in the winter, Lambert.” Vesemir scolded him as he moved to sit next to Coen.
“Me?” Lambert raised his brows. “She’s the one who started it!”
The doors to the keep opened, bringing in a rush of cold wind. You looked up to see Geralt, a man, and a girl walking in.
The wolves fell silent as Geralt pushed the hood off of his head. A fond smile came to his lips.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Lambert stood to his feet and took a few steps towards his brother. Coen followed.
“We thought you were dead, or lost.”
“Not yet.” Geralt embraced Coen first and then Lambert.
All the other wolves soon took their turn greeting their fellow witcher.
“Y/N.” He said your name fondly. “Glad to see you didn’t let Lambert get you killed on the path.”
“I about killed her myself a couple times.” Lambert glared at you. “She’s like having a second Vesemir around, except some how she’s worse!”
You gave him a shove away from you, rolling your eyes.
“That’s the last time I spend time with you on the path.” Your words were directed to Lambert while you gave Geralt a hug. “Now I have to spend the entire winter in this gods damned keep with him too.”
“Have you seen Eskel, Geralt?�� Lambert returned to his seat.
“He’s not here?” Geralt furrowed his brow.
“Haven’t seen any sign of him.” Coen shook his head. “Usually he’s one of the first one’s here, but hasn’t made it this year.”
“Hmm.”
“Wolf. You’re home.” Vesemir was the last to greet the White Wolf.
“I had to make a few stops.” Geralt looked back to the girl and the man to his left.
Your eyes fell on her. Your medallion had trembled when she first entered the room and even now, you could still feel the chaos radiating off of her. She seemed curious, bright eyes taking in every witcher around her. Then she looked at you. You held her gaze, lifting your chin just a little in acknowledgement.
You turned to continue cleaning up the mess the wolves left behind as introductions were made between Geralt’s guests and the wolves.
“And who might she be?” Jaskier asked Geralt as you picked up an empty pitcher from the table the wolves sat at.
“Y/N here is the maid of the keep.” Lambert answered for you. His eyes followed you as you moved around the table, a little grin playing on his lips. “Helps keep everything all nice and clean for us men.”
You launched the pitcher at his head. He dodged to the side, nearly pushing Coen off of the bench in the process.
“You’re going to get yourself into trouble this winter, Lambert.” Vesemir warned him.
“This is Y/N.” Geralt introduced you properly. He and his guests took a seat at the table with the rest of the wolves. “She’s our sister.”
“Sister?” Ciri repeated, furrowing her brows. “As in a witcher?”
“It would seem that way.” You confirmed with a slight nod and a sigh.
“That’s absolutely amazing!” Jaskier exclaimed. “A lady witcher.”
“I think calling her a lady may be overselling it.” Coen snickered.
“Yeah, she ain’t no lady.” Lambert added.
You moved to lean in between him and Coen, reaching for an empty plate. As you were turning away from the table, you made sure to purposefully smack both of the wolves in the head with the plate.
“Fuck!”
“Why don’t you boys make yourselves useful and go do these dishes before they get out of hand?” You placed the bin of dirty dishes down in front of Coen.
They grumbled but decided not to fight it. If they did dishes now, they wouldn’t have to do them later. Or so they thought.
“You’ve never mentioned that you had a sister, Geralt.”
The White Wolf grumbled in his chest as he looked at his bard. It was a warning. He knew very well how Jaskier was with the opposite sex.
“Geralt doesn’t like to do such a thing.” You settled with sitting at the end of a bench at one of the tables. “I would take away all the spotlight from the grand White Wolf. If word got out about a lady witcher, why, the White Wolf wouldn’t be so exciting, now would he?”
Geralt rolled his eyes at you as he moved to the table that had a jug of ale and mugs. He poured himself a mug and then returned to sit across from you.
“If it wouldn’t be too much, I would absolutely love to hear more about you.” Jaskier sat down just beside Geralt. He leaned against the table with both hands and his voice oozed with excitement. “You see, I am a bard by trade. Perhaps you’ve heard some of my work.”
You gazed into his blue eyes, a grin tugging at the corner of your scarred lips.
“You’re a brave soul, bard.”
He smiled a bit bashfully, cheeks flushing light pink.
“Why, thank you.”
“It wasn’t a compliment.” Geralt told him. His words made Jaskier’s smile drop.
“What? Of-Of course it was!”
“It was more of an observation, bard.” You said. “Not many could come to a witcher’s keep and ask a witcher to share her war stories just moments after meeting her.”
“Jaskier has no fear.” Geralt sighed.
“Well, I-I wouldn’t say that. I have plenty of fear.”
You smiled a little at the bard.
“How was the Path this year?” Geralt changed the subject. “I can’t imagine spending the whole year with Lambert was pleasant.”
“Oh, it was anything but pleasant.” You let out a small breath, scratching your fingertips over a groove in the wooden tabletop. “I’d rather have my eyes gouged out with spoons than spend that much time with him.”
Geralt chuckled a little.
“Y/N!” You heard Coen shout your name from the kitchen. You turned your head to the side, listening closely to what was going on.
Geralt furrowed his brows a little and tilted his head. He could also hear the roughhousing going on in the kitchen.
“Ah, fuck.” You grunted, pushing yourself to your feet.
“Is something wrong?” Jaskier asked you.
“My brothers are fools. Excuse me, bard. Princess.”
Jaskier watched as you crossed the room and disappeared behind a heavy wooden door. He didn’t realize he had been staring for too long until the White Wolf grumbled.
The bard turned his head to his traveling companion, brows falling and lips pressing together in a line as he found the witcher glaring at him.
“What?”
“Don’t think about it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You get that same look in your eye when we go to banquets. That same look has gotten you nearly killed for bedding the wrong woman.”
“Geralt! Have a little faith in me! That is your sister for crying out loud! I-I would— I would never—,”
“Unfortunately, I know you too well, Jaskier.”
Jaskier found himself looking back to the door you had disappeared through. A sheepish smile crossed his lips.
“She is rather stunning, isn’t she?”
“Jaskier.”
“It’s a compliment!”
Geralt shook his head.
“She will rip you to pieces.”
“Isn’t that the hope?” Jaskier grinned.
“Gross.” Ciri scrunched her nose up. She had been so quiet that Jaskier almost forgot that they were in the company of the young girl.
“Sorry, Ciri.”
***
You carried a mug in one hand as you left the kitchen. It had been a few hours since Geralt and his guests had arrived. By now, night had fallen on Kaer Morhen. Lambert was preparing a late dinner for everyone. Coen and Vesemir were fixing a fallen shelf in the library. Ciri was in the library reading through a few books to pass time.
Geralt and Jaskier were just getting back in from checking on the horses.
“So I see you changed your mind about your Child Surprise.” You spoke. Your voice reverberated off of the walls.
“Didn’t have much of a choice. Cintra was overtaken by Nilfgard. She has no one.”
“Well, now she has us.” You took a seat on a bench but kept your back to the table. Geralt and Jaskier sat the same way, with their backs to the table just across from you.
A door across the room creaked as it was opened. Being that the door was behind you, you had to turn your head and your upper half to be able to see Vesemir.
“Where’s Ciri?” Geralt asked him.
“Left her in the library. She seemed rather interested in an old beastiary.” Vesemir poured himself a mug of ale.
“To think we have a princess here in the walls of Kaer Morhen.” You shook your head, finishing off the last bit of your drink. “This winter is going to be an interesting one.”
“She isn’t the first princess here.” Geralt said. Your eyes met his briefly before you looked away.
“What does that mean?” Jaskier looked to Geralt for an explanation.
“Oh, it doesn’t matter.” Vesemir took a seat next to you. “All that matters is we don’t try to kill each other this winter.”
“Lambert is at the very top of my list.” You told him. “The first chance I get, I’m going to suffocate him in his sleep.”
“Y/N.” Vesemir scolded.
“Where do you hail from, Y/N?” Jaskier asked you.
“Ard Carraigh, though that was more than a lifetime ago.” You looked down at your empty tankard.
The sound of the horses out in the stables made you turn your head towards the door. You furrowed your brows, unsure of what had them stirring.
“Something’s bothering the horses.” Geralt grunted.
“I will go see to it.” Vesemir sighed as he stood to his feet.
“Do you want one of us to come with you?” You asked him.
“No need. I don’t think it’s that much of a concern.”
You watched the old witcher leave through the heavy front door.
“I should go check on Ciri.” Geralt thought out loud.
“There can’t be too much she’d get into trouble with.” You said. “Nothing up there other than rats the size of a foal.”
“You’d be surprised with Ciri. She can find trouble out of thin air.” He stood up. “Don’t stir up any trouble while I’m gone, Jaskier.”
“You have too little faith in me, Geralt!”
The White Wolf rolled his eyes but said nothing as he walked away. Your eyes followed him until he disappeared through a door that led to the rest of the keep.
“How long have you….” Jaskier trailed off, unsure of the right words to use. “Have you been a witcher long?”
“Are you asking my age, bard?”
“No, no! I’d never ask a lady such a thing.” He chuckled nervously. “I assume that if you have been a witcher for very long, I would have known about you. Or heard about you at some point in time.”
You stood up and moved seats, choosing instead to sit beside the bard. He shifted in his seat, clearly nervous by your sudden close presence.
“It’s been decades since I came here to Kaer Morhen.” You looked upwards to the high ceilings. “Before the sacking.”
”What was it like? Before the- Before the sacking?” Jaskier turned his head to you. He admired your side profile, blue eyes mapping out your facial features. The curve of your nose down to the shape of your lips.
Your attention was shifted to him. It was then that you noticed he was practically staring at your lips. You smiled a little, causing him to look up at your eyes. His cheeks turned pink and he chuckled nervously.
”My-My apologizes.”
”It was nothing grand.” You answered his question as you rose to your feet. “I need more drink. Would you like to come with me?”
”Yes.” Jaskier answered a little too quickly.
He followed behind you like a puppy. You looked over your shoulder to him, the twinkle in your eyes making his heart race. Gods, you were a beauty.
You pushed the door to the kitchen open but before Jaskier could follow you inside, Lambert and Coen were coming out.
“What are you doing, barker?” Coen asked.
“Just— I was just—,”
”Leave him alone, Coen.” You called from just inside the kitchen. Jaskier couldn’t see you because of the wall the two large witchers were forming, blocking you from him.
The boys laughed, their boisterous voices echoing throughout the room. Lambert clapped his hand down on Jaskier’s shoulder as they passed him. Jaskier was just a little confused.
”They are, uh, quite the pair, aren’t they?”
”A pair of jackasses is what they are.” You shook your head.
“Big brothers are like that. I have four.”
”Sounds horrendous.” You poured a second mug of ale and passed it to the bard. “Do you have any other siblings?”
”An older sister and a younger sister.”
”Seven children?” You raised your brows as you leaned against the wooden counter. “Yikes.”
”Yeah.” He chuckled lightly. He leaned against the counter beside you. “Always had a big family.”
”I was one of the last witchers to ever be made, so I suppose I’ve only ever had older brothers.” You took a sip of the ale. ”Couldn’t imagine it any other way. They irritate the piss out of me, but they’re my brothers.”
”They are good men.” Jaskier nodded. “Albeit, annoying. But good men.”
You found yourself gaze at the barker. He was stunning. Warm skin, dark curly hair, even darker eyelashes, and bright icy blue eyes that contrasted his features so nicely. He was a pleasure to gaze at.
The door to the kitchen opened and there stood Geralt.
Jaskier hurried to move, taking a step to the side to put space between himself and you.
“Ah, Geralt!”
The White Wolf offered a low grumble before he looked to you.
”Eskel is home. He doesn’t look good.”
“Is he okay?” You furrowed your eyebrows together. Your drink as discarded on the counter as you hurried to leave the kitchen.
”Vesemir has him in the infirmary.”
You slipped past the witcher and hurried away.
Geralt waited until your footsteps had disappeared down the staircase. Then he turned his attention to Jaskier. He crossed his arms over his chest, appearing even more intimidating than usual.
“Oh, come on, Geralt! Don’t look at me like that!”
”Y/N is—,”
”She is your sister! And you, you are my closest friend!” Jaskier moved to stand in front of Geralt. He placed his hands on Geralt’s biceps and attempted to shake the man but Geralt didn’t budge. “I wouldn’t dream of ever crossing you like that—,”
”Jaskier.” Geralt almost rolled his eyes. ”Get your hands off of me.”
”She is rather friendly though.” Jaskier clasped his hands behind his back as he slipped around the stocky witcher to leave the kitchen. “Very chatty too. Unlike you, you cranky old man.”
Geralt turned around to watch his friend as he started to walk away.
“Jaskier.”
”Yes, Geralt?” Jaskier turned on his toes to face him.
”Just be careful.”
The bard didn’t know what to expect, but that wasn’t it. He furrowed his brows and tilted his head to the side just a bit.
“Uh, o-okay, Geralt.”
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bookloover35 · 17 days ago
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A Frosty Duel, Geralt Of Rivia x fem reader.
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The biting chill of winter gripped the old fortress of Kaer Morhen, its towers crowned in snow and frost. The courtyard lay blanketed in white, a perfect canvas for winter's mischief. Geralt of Rivia stood by the fire pit, sharpening his silver sword with careful precision. The snow and ice didn't bother him; Witchers, after all, were made of tougher stuff.
Nearby, you and Ciri exchanged glances. You, a Witcher like Geralt, had spent years honing your combat skills, mastering the alchemy and mutations that made you more than human. But today, neither you nor Ciri were thinking about monsters or battles. Today, you had a plan.
"Do you think he'll fall for it?" Ciri whispered, a mischievous glint in her eye as she crouched behind a barrel.
"Oh, he'll fall for it," you replied, scooping up a handful of snow. "We just need to catch him off guard."
Together, you packed the snow into tight, formidable balls, and then the first strike was launched. A perfectly aimed snowball whizzed through the air, smacking Geralt square on the shoulder.
He froze, mid-sharpen, and turned his piercing yellow eyes toward you. "Ciri..." he began, his voice deep and dangerously calm. "Was that you?"
"It was her idea!" Ciri blurted, pointing at you, and then immediately ducked behind the barrel.
You grinned. "Don't listen to her, Geralt. You're outnumbered, and we're just getting started."
With that, another snowball flew through the air, this time courtesy of you. It hit Geralt in the chest. For a moment, his face betrayed nothing, but then, the corners of his lips twitched into a sly smile. He set the sword down carefully, brushed the snow off his armor, and crouched to the ground.
"Big mistake," he said, packing his own snowball.
Ciri squealed as he launched it with uncanny precision, narrowly missing her as she darted to another hiding spot. You weren't as lucky; a cold explosion hit your side as Geralt's snowball connected.
"Alright, Witcher," you called, your competitive streak flaring. "Let's see what you've got!"
The courtyard erupted into chaos. Snowballs flew in every direction as the three of you ducked, dodged, and ambushed each other. Ciri, quick on her feet, managed to catch Geralt off guard more than once, laughing wildly as she landed a perfect shot to his back. You, meanwhile, used every trick in your Witcher arsenal—rolling, diving, and even leaping from a low wall to get the better of him.
But Geralt wasn't the White Wolf for nothing. His aim was terrifyingly accurate, and his reflexes made him a formidable opponent, even in a snowball fight. After a particularly brutal exchange, you found yourself pinned behind a low wall, snow melting on your face as you tried to catch your breath.
"Yield?" Geralt called, his voice teasing but firm.
"Never," you shot back, rolling out of cover to fling your last snowball.
Geralt sidestepped it effortlessly and closed the distance between you. Before you could scramble away, he tackled you gently into the snow, pinning you down. His expression was victorious, but there was a warmth in his eyes that made you laugh despite your "defeat."
"Alright, alright! I yield!" you said, breathless and grinning.
"Smart choice," he replied, his tone smug. He reached down to help you up, but before you took his hand, you grabbed a handful of snow and smashed it against his face.
"That's for pinning me," you teased, darting away before he could retaliate.
By the time you rejoined Ciri, who was doubled over with laughter, Geralt was brushing snow from his hair and muttering something about "cheeky Witchers."
That night, as the three of you sat by the fire, sipping hot mulled wine and nursing sore muscles, Geralt looked at you and Ciri, a rare smile playing on his lips.
"Next time," he said, "I'm bringing Eskel and Lambert. You'll need the backup."
You and Ciri exchanged a glance, and at the same time, you said, "We'll still win."
Geralt chuckled, shaking his head. "We'll see."
And in the warmth of Kaer Morhen, surrounded by laughter and the promise of more snowy battles to come, the world felt a little brighter, even in the heart of winter.
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windflowerofskellige · 8 months ago
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Currently drawing my book!Eskel headcanons and I'm drawing the semi-circular scar that moves from the corner of his mouth up his cheek and to his ear and like??? It's always struck me as an interesting scar for a witcher to have because that's a scar you'd get if you were tortured. Someone TORTURED that witcher and made careful care to ruin his face and like. That's just a side detail. I love these books for their side details that could be entire main details if it were a different story.
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witchers x maleficent!/fae!reader
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summary: how witcher characters would react to someone having maleficent type horns/wings and magic
notes: got this out just in time for the new season phew
warnings: gn!reader, lambert the middle schooler, jaskier's composing
tagged: @majesticwren @obsessiveformiyatwins @levithestripper @lu-in-the-library @sunndust (msg me to be added!)
based on this request | masterlist | requests are OPEN!
Geralt
He’s mostly just praying that fate isn’t throwing another curveball at him
Sureeee he’ll spend time with you!! (his fingers are crossed and he’s praying let them be normal let them be normal
Will end up totally accepting you, but he doesn’t love the attention that comes from being a witcher in the company of a fae
He secretly adores your wings
Jaskier
Immediately in song-writing mood
Will make up things about your life to fabricate contents for his ballads
Won’t treat you very different from his other ~weird~ friends
Loves loves loves the attention that comes with it (read: basks in it like the sun)
Yennefer
Yen is fascinated
The academic in her wants to tell her colleagues
And the girl who was all alone and abandoned in her absolutely adores you
You’d do good to make sure that she’s on your side, or she might sell you out
Definitely wants a piece of your magic either way
Ciri
Poor ciri
Eugh she just wants some friends
That don’t die…
She loves your horns and wings
Definitely adores you for also being *different* and having your own magic thing going on
Eskel
He adores your wings
If there is a wing care routing, please let this man do it
Otherwise, he might invent a conditioner-potion for your wings
Don’t scare him in the beginning though, or you may get stabbed
Lambert
Has the reaction of a seventh-grader
Might literally go woahhhhhh
Big hater, but not against you
Will protect you, but will also ask you if you can carry stuff with your horns constantly
Yeah becoming a christmas tree-esque creature may be a con
Coen
Coen honestly just enjoys a helping hand
Your magic will in fact be contributing to his work
Tbf he also makes sure you don’t get killed by angry farmers
The whole thing starts off as a symbiotic relationship but will turn into a friendship (if not more hehe)
Vesemir
Bro does not trust you
Thots and prayers girldude
Oh you have horns and wings? LIKE A MONSTER??
Unless one of his witchers (read:children) introduces you to him, he may attempt murder
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ladyannemarie5 · 1 year ago
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Jaskier is more than happy to care for his witchers when they return to Kaer Morhen in winter, not that it's a sacrifice to be surrounded 24/7 by manly, strong, beautiful men, but he knows that his wolves can't be pampered by him the rest of the year because he spends every season with Geralt. 
So he comes up with an idea to make everyone see his witchers exactly as he sees them: heroic and delicious. 
A few years ago, Oxenfurt put out a series of portraits of the most handsome professors to motivate more people to go to college. Of course, the number of students inside the classrooms grew a lot. 
Jaskier wants to go further, so he tells Yennefer about making portraits of the wolves according to a different year theme. You know, a kind of calendar. 
Eskel, sweet and strong, will be Spring. Lambert, young and virile, will be Summer. Vesemir, wise and serene, will be Autumn. And Geralt, mysterious and silent, Winter. 
Jaskier can only be carried away by his fantasies. 
Thanks to Yen and his magic, by the end of Winter, in every place of the continent there is a series of magical paintings of the witchers of the wolf school exquisitely depicting a whole season that motivates all people to be kinder and more helpful to them. 
Some time later, wives and husbands convince their partners to call a witcher to solve their monster problems and give them generous tips, taverns fill them with beers for attracting so many people, inns give them the best rooms and as many bathrooms as they ask for, brothels fight to have one of them in their places and show off their charms. 
Jaskier has just invented themed calendars and is happy to know that his wolves are fully appreciated. 
The next calendar will undoubtedly feature Coën and Aiden.
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thedemonofcat · 5 months ago
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“It’s strange.”
“Hmmmm?”
“I’ve been on the road most of my life,” Jaskier says, “yet you’re the only witcher I’ve ever met. You would think I’d have stumbled upon at least one other.”
Geralt chews slowly, thinking of how strongly Jaskier smells of his territorial pheromones. How his kind were careful to treat one another’s mates with caution, lest they inadvertently cause conflict within their dwindling numbers.
He hadn’t thought about it before, but other witchers probably assume Jaskier is his mate and act accordingly.
Geralt shrugs. “It’s a big continent.”
It was bound to happen sooner or later: Geralt and Jaskier would eventually cross paths with one of Geralt's brothers. As it turned out, it was Eskel—which, Geralt thought, was probably the best possible outcome.
“Nice to meet you,” Jaskier said warmly, extending a hand to Eskel with a friendly smile. He didn’t notice the quick glance Eskel shot Geralt’s way, as if seeking permission to shake his hand. Geralt gave a subtle nod, signaling it was fine.
As Eskel took Jaskier’s hand, Geralt unconsciously moved a little closer, his presence protective.
“It’s good to finally meet Geralt’s mate,” Eskel said.
“Geralt’s what?” Jaskier asked, bewildered.
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