#capable of caring about multiple things and causes at once

[bigcryptiddies]

Very good description of how it feels to discuss antiblackness in the current social climate

[superluver]

What was in the bag? G.S.

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Wife!Reader

wc: 1516 | cw: Gojo is annoying, fem!Reader, Married, Pre established couple, mentions of bounty&death, FLUFF

Description: Gojo's students meet his wife without knowing it's his wife. Spoiler alert, they think you're his mom.

STARTING HERE

You weren’t really a secret per se.. more of underwraps.

Married to Satoru Gojo, strongest man alive in modern times, you were kind of on the radar for multiple things. Bounty’s on your head reaching over 600 million yen, though they’ve never actually gotten you.

And your daughter, it’s even worse. The highest you’ve heard of was 1 Billion yen, but as Satoru always tells you, he wouldn’t have married someone unable to take care of themselves. You were strong on your own, sure, not a special grade, but a high Grade 1.

You were more than capable of taking care of your family.

“Sora, ready to go?” You coo at her, looking down at her. She babbles in responde, kicking her legs and thrusting them up and down. It’s quite funny.

You are wearing a big hat, large sunglasses and a mask, your 5 month old daughter only wearing the hat and glasses. Her body facing your chest.

A large, garbage bag sits at the door. You recall Satoru texting you to bring it to the school because he forgot it, so with a sigh, you take it in your hand.

It’s heavy, but not unbearably so.

You embark on your journey to the school, which was only about two miles away if you walked, so it was nothing. The only thing concerning you at the moment would be the summer heat beating down on the two of you, wondering if it would be too hot for the small child, but you push on.

“Okay Sora, you have to be good.” You tell her, her big blue eyes staring into yours as you slip on her small glasses. Her hands go up to her face, trying to take them off, but you stop her. That’s when she begins to whine.

“Sora,” you sigh, pressing the hat further down your head. You want to chuckle at her pouty face, her white hair curling over the rim of her small sun hat. You step out of the house into the sun, the large trash bag in your hand. “We’re going to see Papa, but you need to be a good girl.” You tell her, your free hand patting her back, her front pressed onto you from the carrier she’s strapped to that brings you two together.

Immediately, her small whines stop. She looks up at you, her mouth slightly open. “Yes, your papa is at work, and we will visit him.” You tell her in a higher pitch, and she begins to babble out of happiness once more.

It’s been about thirty minutes, Sora taking a nap and you still holding the trash bag. You gain many stares, but you don’t seem to care.

Behind you, someone creeps up. You can feel an immense amount of cursed energy from him, causing you to tense up, and you’re sure Sora can feel it too as she begins to whine again.

“Excuse me?” The person begins, and you assume the person behind you is male from their tone. To turn around, eyebrows furrowed and free hand to your baby's head, pressing her further into you.

“You seemed to be struggling with the bag, so I—” he stammers, and you really look at him. No evil intentions, but that dangerous cursed energy coming from him alarms you.

He’s got pink hair, and a very child-like face. His hand is at the back of his head, scratching awkwardly. You take notice of his uniform, and all that tenseness dissipates. “Are you a Jujutsu Sorcerer?” You ask him, and his eyes go wide.

He shakes his head, hands thrown up. “No-! No, no! I’m— a student! From Sendai, I’m on my way to school!”

You deadpan, he’s clearly lying. Raising an eyebrow, you scoff, “Sendai? What are you doing here in Tokyo. And anyway,” you glance at his uniform, the head holding Sora’s head presses on one of the gold buttons, “I know a Jujutsu Sorcerer’s uniform when I see one. No need to lie, I’m one too.” You confess, finger to your lips(though they’re covered by the mask) like you just told him a secret.

“O-oh! I feel a little embarrassed now..” he tells you bashfully.

“Are you a first year?”

He blinks, nodding slow. “Yeah, I am.”

“Great! Where is Satoru Gojo?” You ask him, and again, he blinks. “I think… he went to get some dessert.”

You groan, readjusting your hat further down.

He leans down, taking the bag from you before stumbling from its weight.

‘She was carrying this!?’

He smiles, re-adjusting it in his hold, then thanking God for his strength.

“If it’s too heavy you can leave it on the ground.” You grumble, sitting under a tree on the stone ledge that surrounds it. The two of you sit under the shade, and Sora, now fully awake, is kicking her legs out. You pull her from the carrier, still facing you, you bounce her on your knee.

The two of you still adorned in your heavy disguises as another person comes by. A girl, wearing a Jujutsu Uniform, brown hair— though clearly dyed— cut into a cute bob. You chuckle, it reminds you of Shoko.

“What’s taking you so long— OHMYGOD!?” She shouts, staring at you. You probably scared her.. you think, but when she steps to you, kneeling to you and asking if you were a celebrity, sweat drops.

“Hm?”

“I'm asking if you’re a celebrity. A model? Maybe an actress.”

You find yourself laughing, shaking your head at her antics. “No, I’m afraid not.”

“A singer! See you have a very nice voice.”

Your head tilts, confused with a hint of embarrassment— though you end up laughing it off— it seems they don’t know who you are.

Sora, still in your arms, is again pressing her hands to her face, knocking her glasses off.

The girl, which you still haven't learned her name, bends down, picking up her glasses and when she leans back up, she sees Sora, looking down at her. Her big blue eyes staring back into the sorceress’ brown ones.

“Holy shit.” She murmurs, wordlessly giving you back her glasses. You stare puzzled, watching as she stands up and walks back to the other boy.

“That— that woman is Gojo’s MOM! She must've been hit by a curse that takes her to the future, because the baby she’s holding is a literal baby Gojo!” Nobara informs Yuuji in whisper, who shakes his head at her.

“No way,” he glances back at you and Sora, who is now tearing off her head revealing her snow white hair. She blinks at him, showcasing her beautiful eyes— identical to his teacher's— and he gapes.

“See! I told you!” She whispers back.

What they don’t realize is that their teacher is looming over them. “What’re you two whispering about?” He asks with a teasing grin, his hands in his pockets, around his arm is a paper bag of Kikufuku.

“Your mom!” Yuuji and Nobara tell him, pointing to the disguised woman. They still haven’t seen her face, but the baby was enough evidence for them.

Megumi stares at them like their idiots, even worse when he watches what his teacher and caretaker does next.

He glances at the woman, then smiling. “Mommy!” He shouts, walking up to her with a wave.

You look up and frown. His students stare at the supposed reunion with him and his mother, his hands to your face pulling off your glasses, then your hat, then ripping your mask off. The three are unable to see your face, though Megumi already knows what you look like.

He leans down, pressing a kiss to your lips, then one to the top of the Sora’s head. Still, his students can’t see your face, but their faces are disgusted. “What the hell do you do with your mom?” They asked, Megumi glancing at them like they were stupid.

Satoru laughs, “That’s the beautiful Mommy of my child,” he tells them, watching them go from relaxed to pure shock.

“WHAT YOU DIDN’T TELL US?! AND YOU HAVE A KID?!"

“NO ONE KNEW?!”

“Megumi knew!” Satoru chirps, and the boy’s friends turned to him. “You knew he was married and didn’t say anything.”

“That guy has nothing to do with me.” Megumi tells them, rolling his eyes at his friends interrogating him.

They’re extremely loud, loud wnough to the poiny where tou’re getting embarrassed.

“Excuse me?” You speak up, and they all turn to you. Your face on full display, and this causes them to gape further. “Could you guys be just a little bit more—”

“HOW DID YOU BAG THAT GOJO-SENSEI?!” Nobara asks, pointing at you them him.

He laughs, throwing his head back at the chaos.

Megumi shakes his head, and you stand up, Sora back in the carrier. You take Megumi and walk off with a sigh, still able to hear their screams in the distance along with Satoru’s laughter.

“What was in the bag?” Megumi asks in a disinterested tone.

You, looking ahead, think about it before shrugging.

“No clue.”

[fatuismooches]

Angst time :3 💕

The Traveller takes down several Fatui resources to cripple them, specifically Dottore's channels since he is currently the biggest threat so far between the Eleven, he had presented himself as someone cunning and wouldn't stop for anything for his research. Rigid and unreasonable unless there is a bargaining chip.

The Traveller spares nothing. From the Traveller partnering up with Beidou to sink multiple Fatui vessels carrying materials. To going after the many, many Fatui stations in Sumeru with Dehya and Candace.

The Traveller did so in hopes of making Dottore more agreeable, he won't listen to anything unless control has been taken from him.

It works, but not in the way the Traveller had anticipated.

Dottore laid down arms not because of his experiments slowing down to a mere crawl, no - it's because his lover's condition has grown severe.

All those channels the Traveller had pruned? They had the materials needed to create the medicine his lover needed on a daily basis.

All those rare cultivated materials, gone. Either lost to sea or set ablaze. Ever since the cut-off, Prime himself and his segments have been scrambling to look for alternatives in Snezhnaya until they could get a hold of the proper materials.

But it is not enough, his lover his rapidly deteriorating and he could only stall it.

What has the Traveller done...? Unwittingly holding the Second Harbinger's heart hostage by chance. They can now make their demands, but - the Traveller is certain that Dottore will soon retaliate once this crisis is over.

The Doctor was not a man to mess with.

Well, any normal person wouldn't mess with any of the Harbingers in general, but it's no surprise that Il Dottore is especially on this list, taking into account his sheer strength, along with intelligence and cleverness that was hard to find elsewhere. The Traveler was no stranger to this, considering everything that went down in Sumeru as well as the numerous other deeds the Harbinger had done. Not to mention they remember how tough the Knave was, they couldn't fathom what Dottore was capable of. So although this isn't their usual course of action, they don't hold anything back. It's a lot of work, so much, to even cause a dent in the Harbinger's operations considering how many steps he is ahead of them. The blonde almost thinks it's all for nothing. Until it's not.

It is quite strange - one would think you would need to outwit Dottore with a superior mind, but instead, he falls due to his heart, something most people think is absent from the Harbinger. The Traveler had heard of you only a few times, all when they were eavesdropping on other agents. Every time they hear a whisper about the person called [Name], they believe it to be mere rumor and gossip, for it is that ridiculous. The Doctor having a lover? The Doctor having a partner he genuinely respected and loved? Who would ever believe that?

It's not until now the Traveler realizes it's no rumor. Childe is the one who ends up telling them, because there was no way Dottore would admit his weakness to them. From the Eleventh's expression and their heart, the blonde knows they've done something very, very, wrong. But how could they have known? How could they have known a man as cruel as the Doctor would care for another as well?

Regardless, the Traveler may be temporarily ahead, but anyone could guess that Dottore doesn't take any sort of aggression against you lightly in the slightest.

(You fluttering in and out of consciousness, waking up to blurry sights of a new segment every time. When they notice your blinking eyes, they simply place a hand over your eyes and a kiss on your forehead, motioning you to go to sleep once again so the pain is more bearable. You beckon for them to squeeze your hand tightly, so you know that both of you are still here. The only thing Dottore can promise is that he'll make it better soon. As soon as he deals with some pests.)

[acourtofthought]

@works-of-heart left a comment on another post, about how hard anti's are on Lucien as a mate while Rhys and Cassian's behaviors are always forgiven.

It's so true. I loved Feysands love story but Rhys forced Feyre into their bargain (and so much more). He then used her as a pawn on multiple occasions. Cassian regularly harassed Nesta. No mate is perfect however there are two characteristics of mates that exist across Sarah's writing.

1) If a mate is aware of a female's depressed state, it physically affects him and he goes out of his way to reach out to her, to worry whether she's eating, to worry about her mental health.

2) If a mate is unable to help in her rescue, he believes in her ability to handle things herself.

Rhys could not truly help Feyre during the trials, he had to stand there and watch her risk her life with Amarantha yet he witnessed her cunning with the Wyrm. He then believed in her ability to escape the Weaver, to get herself safely out of Spring after doing what she needed to do there as a spy. Yes, he was worried for her but he also knew what she was capable of therefore he did not feel the need to rush to her rescue.

With Cassian, he was worried for Nesta and his gut instinct was to enter the Rite. However once he knew that wasn't an option, he wasn't losing his mind in the following days. He believed she was trained well enough to protect herself.

Some claim Lucien didn't react like a mate when Elain was taken by the Cauldron but we actually have no idea how Lucien reacted. What he felt, what he thought, whether he was momentarily terrorized. Since Feyre's POV was the only one we had in ACOWAR (outside of her slipping into Lucien's mind), it's unfair to claim that Lucien didn't respond appropriately in that moment since she wasn't around to witness his reaction. Chances are high that he was on a boat sailing across the sea and was prevented from getting to Elain even if it was his desire to do so. However it is canon that he was haggard, bloody (from those he fought) and panting when he finally appeared, as if he had run from the shore and the first thing he did was search for Elain. Within moments of seeing her and seeing she was safe he went on to give her credit for the killing blow of the King.

If you look at Sarah's past mates, Lucien not only matches their behaviors but he bests them all.

He never forced Elain to talk to him (the way Rhys did Feyre), he never harassed her when it was clear she wanted nothing to do with him (as Cassian did Nesta) yet he still cared for her health and well being in the same way Rhys and Cassian did for Feyre and Nesta. All three cared more for the females' happiness than their own, even when the females happiness caused them pain and suffering.

Lucien is the GOAT of mates and people can argue against that fact all they want but it's not going to be long before they have to accept that their attempts to tear him down amounted to a whole lot of nothing.

[thehypnone]

Hey hyp, how's things?

Just thought I'd ask how you feel about swisstom fisting bc I am unwell and need to share 💝

Swiss was very pleased to learn that Phantom being stretchy also means he is stretchy.

This quality of his put together with his raging size kink makes him a perfect candidate for something Swiss wanted to try for a while. He never really told Phantom what it was about, but he discussed the idea in as explicit detail as possible without really revealing it and acquired the quintessence ghoul’s consent.

And the truth is that Phantom absolutely does not care what gets put inside him, only that it is big enough.

Swiss’ fist most certainly is big enough.

“More, Swiss, more,” Phantom begs into the pillow, arching his back even further. He’s face down, ass up, just how Swiss likes it.

He likes to watch from up close.

The multi ghoul hums in acknowledgement and obliges, sliding a fourth finger into his tight hole. Phantom shudders as he’s filled some more; though it is still not enough.

They haven’t been at it for long considering Swiss already has most of his hand buried in the slight ghoul’s ass, but that’s the point. The prep is a necessary evil so as not to cause actual damage; they’d skip it entirely if they could. Maybe someday they will.

Phantom wants to feel the stretch and Swiss want to see his pink hole get puffy.

It’s nasty.

“You’re sucking me in, bug,” the multi ghoul rumbles behind him as he palms at his cock with his free hand. “You and your little hole are so greedy, aren’t you?”

“Uh-huh,” Phantom moans, drooling more onto the pillow he’s got his face shoved into. “I need–I need more…need all of it, want to be–wanna be so full.”

“Oh, you will be,” Swiss laughs cruelly. “You will be.”

The quintessence ghoul lets out a dry sob as Swiss rubs a thumb over his stretched rim. It’s pulled so taut, the delicate skin around looks like it could rip at any second. It’s an addicting sight.

“Swiss, please,” he cries out, “put it in, put it all in.”

“Patience, bug,” the multi ghoul sighs, but he doesn’t have much of it himself. He wants to shove his hand into him up to his fucking elbow and he wants it now. Only his love for Phantom is keeping him back from going for it with no regard to his safety.

Still, he deems it safe enough to work his thumb in alongside the rest of his fingers. Even despite all the lube he’s spilled over his hand already, he spits on Phantom’s ass for good measure and spreads it around, twisting his hand to stretch him some more.

The quintessence ghoul whimpers and whines, tail swishing wildly in the air—nearly smacking the other in the face multiple times—and Swiss finally pushes his thumb into him.

Phantom’s breath hitches as he’s being stretched even more and he can’t even imagine how gloriously it will feel once it’s all in. He can’t wait.

Swiss swears under his breath, hypnotized by what his packmate’s body is capable of. What he is capable of. It’s amazing and he needs to see what else he can do, right now.

The multi ghoul doesn’t even blink as he crowds his fingers close together and presses in. He’s pushing and pushing and the widest part of his hand disappears, then the bones of his wrist and before he knows it half of his forearm is inside Phantom.

He can’t breathe and it’s not him that’s stuffed full.

“Oh, Lucifer, fuck, that’s–fuck, you’re amazing, bug, oh my lord…” Swiss babbles in awe. His hand is squeezed so tight by Phantom’s hot, velvety insides and he can’t help but wiggle his fingers to really feel it.

“Swiss, I–I’m–”

“You good?” concern breaks through his horny haze.

“Yes,” the quintessence ghoul moans wantonly, “more.”

Swiss swallows the spit that’s pooled in his mouth and curls his fingers into a fist inside him. Phantom cries out in pleasure and the multi ghoul can only assume how good it feels; maybe they should switch places next time.

He squeezes and releases his fist, flexing his arm and he drools from his open mouth and down his chin as he watches the muscles under his skin twitch and spread Phantom’s ass even further. He’s going to gape so wide; Swiss can’t wait to play with it.

The quintessence ghoul, too, seems impatient, “C’mon now, Swiss. Fuck me with it, wanna–I wanna feel it in my throat.”

Swiss obeys.

[luneemeritus]

So a lot of antis who claim that Stolas is a coercive rapist point to his appearance in S1 EP1: Murder Family because according to them Blitz accepted the arrangement while he’s being shot at, by comparison Stolas is chilling in his bathtub making him not properly consent to the deal. Do you have any rebuttals to these claims? Also let’s also mention the fact that Stolas was spying on him with a bubble. I just want good answers that point to Stolas not being a bad person because I want to root for him and Blitz being together.

The thing is, Blitz was already using Stolas's grimoire way before the deal was proposed. Stolas never demanded anything, he proposed the deal and asked for Blitz's consent. The way they are in different scenarios don't symbolize rape or coercion, the 'power imbalance' in their relationship is not there to make Stolas a coercive monster because he isn't. The Full Moon is literally sex work, not coercion, not rape, not prison, it's a sex deal where *both* benefit. Stolas needs the book, the book belongs to HIM, Blitz was the one who started their relationship with sex in order to get the book (this is shown in the pilot! Not only in S2-EP1!), Stolas only continued it.

The grimoire is *not* only Blitz's only way to access Earth. It's, supposedly, the easiest. Supposedly because we clearly see other low-class beings having access to Earth without stealing from some Goetia. Blitz is smart and capable enough to find a new way to go to Earth.

The fact that antis can only use this scene as a "prove" that Stolas is a rapist just prove how they didn't understand anything from the show (or they are ignoring it on purpose). Literally the next episode from the same season, Blitz denies having sex with Stolas. S1-EP2, "find some else's face to plant that feathered ass". Blitz has agency, Blitz consents, and he denies fucking Stolas. In "Harvest Moon Festival", Blitz says that the deal was not something he fussed about. He talks about his deal with Stolas with his friends as a transactional fucking (cause this is what it is), he denies sex with Stolas in "Ozzie's", and we can also see Stolas' messages in "Western Energy' saying that nothing was ever forced between them. Stolas never took the grimoire away from Blitz even after months being rejected. What lacked in their relationship was communication, not consent.

And I'm not even counting everything about "The Full Moon" episode. Blitz literally sings about how much he enjoys sex with Stolas, spends the whole day buying things to use on Stolas, begged for Stolas to *keep* the deal, said multiple times about how much the deal is something he enjoyed and wanted to keep, and told Loona and M&M about how Stolas never forced anything on him which lead to months without intimacy between them. Where is the coercion??? Simply, it's not there.

Once Stolas starts realizing that the world isn't a fantasy and the power imbalance between him and Blitz means that his class is deeply unpriviledged, he immediately finds an alternative way for Blitz to access Earth. He was feeling guilty for any possible 'abuse' he could've done (which didn't happen). The point is: antis can't see either Blitz's agency nor Stolas's intentions. They just care about their own paralel version of the show that never existed.

I'm sorry that antis affected the way you interact with the show. No one should feel guilty or ashamed for having fun and consuming media they enjoy, specially when the "critiques" are all based in lack of attention, lies and bad faith. But don't worry, Stolas is not a rapist, he is well meaning despite his flaws and you can cheer for Stolitz. We all know it's endgame.

Edit: also, Stolas spying on Blitz has nothing to do with antis's allegation. Yes he was spying on Blitz, he is a lonely fucked up man with nothing better to do lol Blitz also spies on M&M in a way worse level. Is that rape? Of course not.

[neiptune]

a series of (un)fortunate drivers

cw: 1k wc, gender neutral reader, fake dating trope, roommate to lovers, they're both idiots (affectionate). sponsored by the ever generous @yellow-sword-lily who decided to trust my writing and contribute to the wonderful @ficsforgaza initiative!

“Does it hurt?”

Atsumu is met with a familiar, stubborn silence that prompts an exasperated sigh. You’re being awfully quiet for someone who’s chest is pressed to his back, close enough he can smell the shampoo that actually acts as shampoo (he learned that, apparently, a 3-in-1 body wash is indicative of not knowing how to take care of his own needs on approximately day two of living with you).

He knows you’re perfectly capable of not uttering a single word the entire way home, just as you know he’s keeping his pace slow to minimize your bouncing and reduce the discomfort to the best of his ability. It makes you want to strangle him.

“Blink once if it hurts” Atsumu turns to the side and his caramel gaze takes yours by surprise for just a second before you decide to resolutely focus on a specific spot on his shoulder.

“You’re the most ridiculous person I know” he balances you better against him with a small hop and you swallow the petty comeback already dancing on the tip of your tongue.

Truth is, it does hurt. Your ankle is swollen, probably about to bruise, an annoying circumstance that could’ve been well avoided if not for a couple of drivers that worked against your luck to progressively fuck your evening back-to-back: a) Hinata convincing you that a pair of chunky sneakers would be an excellent investment, b) the decision to wear said inappropriately chunky sneakers, c) Atsumu ignoring how excessively flirty the woman at the bar was being (one can estimate the impressive size of his biceps without necessarily squeezing his arm multiple times), d) the spirit of an immature six year old that decided to suddenly possess you at the sight, causing you to make up a dumb excuse to storm out before Suna and everyone else could even get there to begin with.

The heated march was soon and quite harshly interrupted by your ankle turning in an awkward way, causing you to even more awkwardly tumble onto the goddamn sidewalk right as a bottle blond pro athlete was forced to drop everything (drinks, friends, excessively flirty woman) to chase you down the street.

You insisted you could’ve walked (not true) or called an uber (also not true, you forgot your phone on the kitchen island) but, with the utmost care and deaf to your objections, Atsumu collected the things scattered on the asphalt the same way confusing thoughts are dispersed around your brain still, checked your ankle with furrowed brows and sentenced you to a piggyback ride home.

He refuses to let you slip off his back as he kicks off his shoes, rolls his eyes when you scoff and makes his way to the couch by which he carefully bends down to gently place you against the throw pillows.

“Don’t” Atsumu swats your hand away when you attempt to lean forward “I got ya” he rolls your sage green linen pants all the way up to the knee and attentively unties your shoes. You suck in a sharp breath between your teeth when he removes the sneaker, warm hand supporting your leg by the calf. A fluffy pillow is placed on the coffee table and underneath your foot, an admonishment to hold still mumbled with affection as he disappears into the kitchen to rummage through your freezer.

“I can do it” you accept the ibuprofen but protest firmly when he sits on the table, ice pack in hand.

“I know ya can” Atsumu offers a smile “but let me”

Defeated, you hiss at the contact: the skin feels so tender even grazing it with a finger would hurt. He knows, he’s had his fair share of injuries throughout his career.

Atsumu is more observant than what people give him credit for. He knows exactly when everything changed, the night that shifted the precarious equilibrium of your roommate relationship. It wasn’t when he suggested you’d fake a relationship for a while, just to get his PR team to shut the fuck up and stop trying to pair him up with some unknown model just for the sake of it. Can’t, I already have a partner. You were happy to accomodate his request: some pics for social media, a few shots of intertwined fingers and steaming bowls of ramen. Always his treat. Atsumu promised he’d take over the cleaning activities you hated the most for two entire months in return. You would’ve been free from dusting, scrubbing the bathtub and washing dishes (he’d insisted on laundry too but you simply weren’t going to risk all your whites turning pink).

No, it was Suna’s birthday that changed everything. The night you both had a little too much of that fancy wine and ended up sharing a drunken kiss with you perched in his lap, eager fingers in his hair, kissing with little to non existent restraint. It felt so good, so right, he could only think he wanted to do it again, when sober. And now, after acting like that never even happened for an entire week, your little tantrum makes him think that perhaps you’d like to do it again too.

“I think we should stop, ‘Tsumu” you murmur, eyes kept low when he looks up from your ankle.

“What are we stoppin’?”

“The whole thing. Tell your team you’ll do what they want”

He cocks his head, seemingly imperturbable. ‘Samu would be the only one capable of sensing how fast his heart is actually beating. “Why would I do that?”

“Why would you not do that?” you finally meet his stoic gaze “let’s just stop now before anybody’s feelings get hurt, okay?”

“Ya think I’d do that?”

“I didn’t say…”

“What are you saying, then?” Atsumu leans forward to gently grab your jaw, forces you to look at him “all I’m hearing is you’re worried about yer feelings. Whatever we are going to do with mine, right?”

You jump a little at the unexpected words and he rolls his eyes. It’s just so typical of you to be all lost in your own head, too buried in futile concerns to notice just how unnecessary they are.

“Let me tell ya what I think we should actually do” Atsumu makes sure the ice pack stays in place or is at least balanced enough to stay on as he slides from the coffee table onto the couch “I think you should stop assuming I’d be interested in anyone who's not you” he offers a grin that suppresses your heated remonstrance before you have the chance to voice it “and I should take you out on a proper date. Maybe to one of those museums ya love so much. Blink once if you agree?”

He’s ridiculous. Maybe ‘Samu’s initial warning “it will rub off on ya” wasn’t such a senseless prediction after all, because you do blink. Slow, deliberate. And Atsumu smiles the most beautiful smile: it’s much better than the ones that win him magazine covers and sparkly photoshoots. This one’s all yours.

You lean forward first, the ice pack slips from your ankle to the floor.

[cakemoney]

once in a while i contemplate what was going to happen to evan, back in season 1 when he asked for the Procedure to Make Him Normal. because, like, we realized that that's a lie, right? we realized at the big reveal that there isn't anything that makes someone capable or incapable of magic; everyone on earth could do magic if they were aware of it and were taught how to do it. there wasn't a thing that could be taken out or a switch that could be flipped; everyone was magic all along, had been even before some british assholes built a secret society on it. evan was never going to stop being magic.

so, like, what was philtrum's plan. were they going to just wipe evan's memories and drop him back where he was before? would they try to erase all of evan's memories that involve magic, including all the scary demon shit that happened throughout his life? or would they just cut out his knowledge of gowpenny, and essentially rewind him to before he got that first owl? if he doesn't remember gowpenny, he's not gonna remember that he was supposed to have a procedure that fixed him anyway, so what does it matter?

i don't remember clearly, but i believe (?) the whole procedure thing was one of the ways philtrum was trying to get the whole pilot program declared a failure, so maybe wiping all their memories and sending them back without knowledge of gowpenny or magic or each other was always part of her plan. but even if they no longer remember what magic is, they will still have the potential of magic, and that could be an issue with evan, right? philtrum and co. don't know everything about evan's demon stuff, but she must've noticed from the beginning that something about evan isn't right. evan's familiar is his own shadow; in every conversation with him, evan has spoken of magic as something that he had a pre-existing relationship with (namely, a bad relationship where he is scared of magic because it has caused bad stuff to happen to him). for all the others, if gowpenny was removed from their lives, may never cast another spell again, but it's hard to be sure of that with evan; philtrum didn't know concrete details about the demons, but she also didn't know that sam managed to charm them into leaving. what happens if Bad Magic Shit happens to evan again, and something leads evan to remembering or finding out about gowpenny anyway? evan could be some kind of prophecied dark wizard, which probably isn't a foreign concept for a headmistress who runs a school where there is a whole house for kids who've been labeled evil; if they return him to america and he's left to his own devices, how can they be sure that he doesn't Cause Problems for wizard society later?

what i mean is. we already know philtrum's tried multiple times to get evan killed; we know she feels contempt for the pilot program and want to get rid of them and protect the status quo. and evan has no family to go back to; the only people who would care enough to miss him would have no way of knowing where he's gone and what's happened to him, and hopefully would not remember him once this whole ordeal was over.

she was probably going to kill him, right? like, why waste time performing complex magic brain surgery on this kid? she's got no issues with lying, manipulation, and child murder. if evan had ended up going to the nebulous Appointment, philtrum was probably going to straight up kill him, or at least try to. and for the first time in his life, the shadows and demons wouldn't be around to protect him.

[what-thisiscrazzzy]

Some thoughts from my second watch of ‘The Case of The Devlin House’

Sorry if this long and obvious I just need to say stuff

- Charles mentions liking the song playing in the house, noting that he played it a lot before his dad smashed it with a hammer. 1) this is the first thing about the house which strikes a personal chord between Charles and the Devlins 2) this likely puts Charles’ dad in his mind causing his emotional reaction to be more intense later? 3) it’s an example of his father being controlling. Later we hear that one of the girls in the house found her father extremely controlling. Charles talks about never being able to make him happy. This is an example of this behaviour, specifically something Charles finds joy in upsetting his father and causing a violent outburst 3) possibly a first clue to his fear of being just like his dad? It’s a link between a violent man and Charles during a case about child abuse, emotions can be very messy making links that aren’t 100% logical. I think the mention of the song just feels intentional as any other aspect of the case could link to Charles but his love of music is very specific.

- Edwin doesn’t have a notable reaction to the violence. Truthfully I was mostly watching Charles and the camera work does as well. However, Edwin notably doesn’t flinch as much as anyone else during the murders, he does react but not the same degree as far as I could tell. When Edwin and Crystal share a frame during the suicide she has a larger reaction. Additionally, he doesn’t freak out as much/like everyone else, staying mostly level headed. This is likely due to his time in hell, the horror is disturbing but doesn’t shock him to the same degree. Edwin has experience and witnessed violence for decades so while Charles is triggered and Crystal is very empathetic he remains more composed.

- Edwin only freaks out when Charles is in trouble. This adds onto what I’ve just mentioned but Edwin is more composed until Charles is caught in the loop. The loop troubles him but he only really reacts with the same level as dramatics once Charles is in trouble. Again I think his time in hell made him not less empathetic but more capable of repressing horror or dealing with it. But losing Charles is not something he is accustomed to and cannot keep his composure about.

- Crystal being incredibly empathetic. Thought of this after but Edwin’s line about her being not what she did but what she does or whatever it was perfectly encapsulates what this episode says about Crystal. I think it was easy to get caught up in the Charles of it all but this episode really shows how caring and empathetic she is. Crystal notes when Charles is seriously affected. She herself is incredibly upset during the murders and try’s to leave after the first loop. She’s very upset to find out how she used to act. That last example is interesting bc she is shown who she was and is disgusted, this is in an episode where she is helping others. We are really shown that at her core Crystal is a good and caring person, as this is a rewatch I can say that this really sets up that it was circumstances that made her so cold and callous pre-David. Without the feelings such as abandonment by her parents she really acts with a big heart, clearly upset by suffering around her. I don’t have much more to say but yeah the episode does a good job at really contrasting the before and after of Crystal and showing her true character.

- someone else pointed this out before i rewatched but: Charles’ loop starts with his snapping at Edwin. While the entire experience appears specifically triggering for Charles and his intense reaction is there from the beginning he only becomes trapped after snapping at Edwin. More specifically after facing multiple triggering situations and then snapping at Edwin. He hears a song that he relates to a bad memory of his dad, witnesses the abuse of powerless children, reads a diary of said abused child which he relates to heavily and the the events of his being trapped in the loop happen.

I think this relates back to what I was saying about the song. Multiple confusing emotions related to his trauma are brought up. A song both he and the murder liked is playing as he snaps at his best friend. Lots of feelings there.

His fear over his mother and his fear and hurt during his own abuse are brought up. And then he snaps at his best friend, try’s a violent solution and then is attacked. I think his fear over being just like his dad is brought up and then the Devlin father’s violence was reminiscent of the violence he faced previously. The feeling of helplessness as he couldn’t fight back and the fear of himself. It’s something he can’t stop and he’s powerless to help, while also bringing out a part of himself he hates.

Charles has a strong sense of justice and the events of the Devlin house is extremely unjust so he is extremely upset and frustrated at what is occurring.

Charles plays at being so happy all the time because although he calls himself the Brawn, he’s the protector, we can see later on that his own violent capabilities scare him.

We, the audience, and his friends know hes not a violent person and would only react so in self defence but Charles greatest fear is that he’s not a Good Guy.

The Devlin house triggers all the issues he carries after the abuse he suffered including his fear of himself. He sees himself in the victims but a small part of him is scared he’s also like the perpetrator.

There’s so much here and that why I love Charles bc he’s got so much going on in his head hidden behind a smile

This was only meant to be short but I kept rambling on. So basically the song, Edwin, Edwin freaking out over Charles, Charles being emotionally complex bc he cares so much and is so hurt.

[billyloomiswhore4]

Why’d you only call me when you’re high? - Billy Loomis

gif belongs to google

Warnings: unhealthy relationships, cheating,violence,  angst, slight smut, billy is a dick, slutshaming, bad ending. 

The mirror's image, it tells me it's home time

But I'm not finished, 'cause you're not by my side

Billy Loomis knows he isn’t a good man, and he’s definitely not good enough for you. It doesn’t matter how much he enjoys killing or hurting people, he can’t hurt you, not physically anyways. You bring out a sense of calm in him. He’s always tense, like a wild animal easy to startle and ready to attack at any moment. But around you, it’s like that urge to hurt people is satiated, like he doesn’t need to anymore.

 As he looks at himself in the mirror, he thinks about what he needs to do to Sydney, and her friend. He wants to, so badly that it hurts. He realizes he needs you for this plan to come together, he needs you to keep him satiated. 

And as I arrived I thought I saw you leavin', carryin' your shoes

Decided that once again I was just dreamin' of bumpin' into you

He stands at the doorway of Stu’s house, watching as you stumble up the stairs. Lips locked with another man, and he thinks, “That should be me.” Your shoes are in your left hand and your dress is wrinkled. You seem to be enjoying yourself, and he hates it. He wants you to suffer without him, he wants you to regret your decision of dropping him. But he also wants to take a knife and stuff it into the heart of the man you're with. He wants to watch your face full of terror as you realize what he’s capable of. But he can’t, because he’s with Sidney. So instead he seeths in anger, and continues talking to Stu with his fists clenched, just hoping you’ll take him back. 

… Now it's three in the mornin' and I'm tryin' to change your mind

Left you multiple missed calls and to my message, you reply

"Why'd you only call me when you're high?"

"Hi, why'd you only call me when you're high?"

It’s 3 am when your phone rings, the ID says, “ Billy,” You ignore it, and he calls three more times before you pick up. 

“What, Billy?” You sound angry, he likes it. 

He’s sitting standing in front of the mirror in Stu’s bathroom. And he’s high, he just smoked a joint with Stu and he can’t stand listening to him go on and on about what he’s up to with Tatum when he misses you so much, misses your touch, your sense of calm. 

“Nothin’ just watched to talk to you s’all.” It’s obvious how high he is, his voice comes out slow and slightly lighter. 

“Are you high?” You sigh when he doesn’t reply. “Goodbye Billy.” 

“No wait!” You hang up before he can try to convince you to go back to him.

… Somewhere darker, talkin' the same shite

I need a partner, well, are you out tonight?

Billy is sitting in Stu’s living room, watching The Exorcist. Everyone is there except Sidney, and he doesn’t want to admit it but he hates it when she’s not there. When she isn’t there all he can think about is you. Stu likes to call him obsessed, probably because he is. He craves you, and the way you help satiate his urges. His urges, god they’re so overwhelming, he just wants to go into the kitchen and slit the throats of everyone in the room, just to come find you, soaked in their blood and kiss you.  But he can’t, you won't have him. And it’s all SIdney’s fault. 

It's harder and harder to get you to listen

More I get through the gears

“I don’t understand! We had a good thing going!” 

He showed up at your front door, and pushed his way inside before you could slam the door in his face.

“What’s not to understand! You’re with Sidney, I can’t do that to her!”

“Who cares about Sidney!” You’re yelling in each other's face, up close and heated. This is how it always happens, this is how you end up in bed with him. 

“I can’t fuck you knowing you’re with her! It would ruin her if she found out! She loves you!”

“I don’t care, I love you!”

Your lips meet his suddenly, and fervently. It’s messy, and your teeth clink together. His tongue slips into your mouth and he slides off your jacket, walking you backwards and up the stairs. 

Incapable of makin' alright decisions, and havin' bad ideas

You lay underneath him, on your bed. Clothes are long discarded, it’s just you, him and pent up anger. You don’t think, you ignore all those pesky thoughts about Sidney, and how you could be ruining her relationship. When he pushes into you, all thoughts fade away, it’s just skin on skin and no more worries. 

Afterwards, you lay next to him, but facing away from him.

“This was the last time Billy. We can’t do this anymore.” It’s the exact same thing you’ve said time and time again. He knows you want to mean it, but he also knows he’ll be in bed with you again. 

… Now it's three in the mornin' and I'm tryin' to change your mind

Left you multiple missed calls and to my message you reply

"Why'd you only call me when you're high?"

"Hi, why'd you only call me when you're high?"

It’s been weeks since he’s touched you, since he fucked you. He shouldn’t miss you, but he does. So he finds himself dialing your number. He’s high again, Stu introduced him to his new bong. He calls you from Stu’s back porch, but you don’t pick up. 

He calls you again, and again, but still no answer. He sighs, and closes his eyes, letting the cool breeze hit his face and push back his hair. The cool air helps calm the urges, but not for long. 

… And I can't see you here, wonderin' where am I

It sort of feels like I'm runnin' out of time

Summer ended last week, and you’re sitting in English class. You definitely aren’t paying attention. Your thoughts wander to Billy. He hasn’t called you in a month and a half, and it’s been two months since he’d fucked you the last time. 

You wonder if he’s finally moved on, if he’s decided he doesn’t really need you anymore. You never thought you would miss him this much, but you do. You miss the way he touched you, the way he played with you. No other man was able to do better than him. You tried to forget about him, with booze, and weeds and men. But none of it worked, not for long anyways.  

I haven't found all I was hopin' to find

You said you gotta be up in the mornin'

Your head is pounding, and you’re cold. The softness underneath you tells you you’re in a bed. The last thing you remember is challenging some jack off to a drinking competition. You were at a party, it was a spring break celebration. You open you’re eyes and are met with Billy fucking Loomis staring staight at you. You're naked, he’s presumably naked, and you’re laying in bed with him. 

Fuck.

You jump out of the bed, and search for your clothes. He begs you not go, and you’re surprised because he’s never been the type to beg.  He tells you that needs you, and that you’re the only thing that makes sense to him. But you ignore him, put on your clothes and leave.

Gonna have an early night

And you're startin' to bore me, baby

Why'd you only call me when you're high?

It’s been two days since you woke up in bed with Billy, and you hate yourself even more for falling for that trap again. It’s not too late at night, but he calls you. And surprisingly, you answer. 

“Hey,” You say.

“I fucking hate you.” He spits. He’s either high, drunk or both. You aren’t sure. But he sounds like he means it when he says it. “I was ready to give everything up for you, and you just wouldn’t fucking take it.” 

“I’m sorry Billy, But you know I can’t be with you. You’re with Sidney.”

“You’re a whore.”  

This shocks you, he’s never once called you a whore, he's never really been downright mean to you either. 

“What?”

“I mean it, I can’t believe I put my dick in you. You’re disgusting.” Before he can continue to shame you, you hang up. 

… "Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?"

"Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?"

He got high again, and all he can think about is you. So he calls you. And you don’t pick up. He calls again, and again. At this point he assumes you’ve blocked his number. So he just stops calling. 

"Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?"

"Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?"

He’s with Sidney when he gets the text. He’d just fucked her, and it wasn’t anything like it was with you. It didn’t satiate his urges, or calm him down. It just made him angrier. The text reads. ‘It’s over, for real this time. Don’t contact me again.’

And he doesn’t. 

[ofmdsalt]

(Pasting this from a YouTube comment I made cause I’m lazy)

This is a very unpopular opinion, but one of the biggest things that bothered me about season 2 was Ed. People are always like "Oh you just can't handle a messy gay" or something like that when Ed's arc is criticized in season 2, but I dislike it because I feel it SIMPLIFIES him too much. Ed in season 1 just felt so much like a real person, a complex man capable of multiple contradictions equally within him at once, not one or the other battling for dominance in separate opposition. In season 2, it feels he is bad, or good, poison, or positivity, never both. Gone is the man making mistakes born of insecurity and a confused sense of self that hurts the ones he, in spite of this, deeply and openly loves. Now it feels like, narratively, his flaws and missteps must be pushed away completely for love to flourish within him. He seems so much more immature than season 1 would've ever lead me to believe, even in the episode 10 “kraken” sequence. Putting someone in a potato sack and a cat bell and having the ones he literally traumatized be like "eh alright, he's harmless now" is neither realistic nor satisfying. (Actually it was a misstep in my opinion to have him commit absolutely overboard atrocities in the first place. I don’t care how many people try to convince me he was this cartoonishly violent and scary all along, it does not fit the character I saw the entire damn season.) It's not in anyway engaging in the meaningful reconciliation of a very complex adult man, his wrongdoings, and his desires.

hi anon!

you raise a lot of good points in terms of what season 2 ultimately failed to do. it ultimately failed to live up to its own hype and premise.

the whole Kraken arc at the beginning of the season was a lot. and there's a reason Ed was basically killed for it and brought back to life by the power of looooove. which is all fine and good because this is a show that doesn't take realism all that seriously but in that case i don't think it gives the fallout of the Kraken arc any room to breathe.

i mean Lucius said it best when he was like "So we're all just going to continue on" or something along those lines. like he's purposefully asking, as the man who was shoved off the ship and left for dead, that everyone's just going to move on and... they do! the plot just does move on! and we're supposed to treat Lucius shoving Ed off the boat as like something equal to what Ed did to him? i just don't buy it. it doesn't feel satisfying. there's no emotional catharsis for any of these characters because everyone feels hollow.

it feels really messy. like there's no breathing room for this major story arc of abused people being capable of abuse themselves. which could have been explored well in a show like this but ultimately it gets nerfed by being in the hell era of streaming we're in where you only get 8 episodes a pop so good luck trying to do any of that

but you are right in that this season simplifies Ed. he feels aimless and not in a good way. like did we really have to have the Pop Pop scene? was that really worth the screen time? there were just a lot of missed opportunities in this season

[mint-8]

Moral Orel AU - Everyone’s happy and good (ish)

Trigger/Content warning: Mentions of guns and death, plus implications of child abuse. Also there Christianity is used a lot.

Clay Puppington

- Moralton’s respectful mayor, Orel and Shapey’s proud father, Bloberta’s loving husband, Danielle’s loyal best friend and the prime example of a good Christian man, dad, and spouse to his family and everyone in town.

- Clay has a loving and healthy relationship with his nuclear family. He deeply respects Bloberta for being so capable at managing things around the house, and pretty much lets her be the one to call the shots in their home. He is deeply in love with her and will always find any opportunity to compliment her or showing his affection (helping with chores, buying her gifts, hugs, kisses). He also encourages her to go out and have fun if she is ever too stressed, as in his own words: “You already work so hard for our family! Is only fair you take a break every once in a while”

- Alongside Bloberta, they tend to monitor Shapey more than Orel, mostly due to his behavioral issues, although Shapey is going to a therapist and actively taking psychological treatment, so his reactions are more toned down. He still loves him though, and buys him plenty of toys and enjoy some son-father bonding activities, usually playing board games, doing art or just talking.

- Orel is his pride and joy, his little son and big champ. Yes, Orel tends to get himself into trouble, a lot. And yes, he also tends to get into random shenanigans like, every other day, but he firmly believes that nothing can’t be solved without proper apologies, attaining for your actions and talking about it. He absolutely will not harm Orel even if he was threatened, but does have multiple talking sessions in his study, usually with some apple cider. He also spends quality time with Orel, and just like Shapey, they partake in bonding activities, with the added bonus of Clay being the town’s scout leader and taking him and his friends to camp every other weekend.

- Clay’s relationship with his father, Arthur, is a bit awkward. He still caused his mother to die due to his stupid prank, but Arthur still did his best to raise him properly, however he never really forgave him for killing his lovely bride. Clay still feels extremely guilty and made a promise to himself, his dad and his mom at her funeral, that he will definitely live his life as a proper Christian, to atone for the sin that he committed and which he will never forgive himself for. He still sends letters to his father regularly, usually giving him updates about his family, the town and sometimes sending money through post if he ever needs it but, more often than not, he sends him gifts and letters from the other family members.

- Danielle’s best friend and drinking buddy. They’ve known each other since high school and have stuck together through thick and thin over the years. While they usually talk about Orel and Shapey’s school performance, they tend to reminisce about the old times and set up drinking parties or simple hang outs. He doesn’t really care that Danielle is gay, after all “God loves all his children equally”.

Extra facts:

- Clay doesn’t like guns, and only has 1 fire arm for emergencies. He will teach Orel how to use it one day.

- Not super fond of alcohol, he is more of a social drinker. Instead he has an apple cider collection in his study.

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.220 thoughts

[Here For a Good Time AND a Long Time!]

(Contents: thematic analysis - happiness/autonomy)

All Up From Here

What'd I tell ya? You don't give things a numerical score, cus something better is always capable of coming along. Tozuka himself even incorporated my exact feelings into this chapter!

"I'm as happy as can be, Andy." "What are you talkin' about, Nico?! It's all up from here!!"

Acknowledging that you're happy is of course an important first step to actually being happy, but to say that you can't be happier is to say that you'll never be this happy again, like a preemptive refusal to accept greater happiness in the future

This is also why I don't personally like to throw around "peak" as a compliment, because again it implies that nothing compares now and never will again. It puts the recipient on a pedestal, and forces all further interactions to be analyzed exclusively in comparison rather than on their own

Take me for example: long-time readers of mine know that Medaka Box is my favorite manga of all time, but as UU has continued to grow and evolve artistically and narratively, I've been forced to reexamine my relationship with both series. By insisting that nothing would ever surpass Medaka Box in my heart, I've been actively holding my opinion of UU down, refusing to change the shape of the hole that Medaka Box left in my life to fit UU, afraid that doing so would cause me to forget Medaka Box

...Huh, that sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Andy telling Nico to look forward rather than becoming complacent with his current happiness or previous joys is actually a perfect capstone to their last meeting in the previous loop, as Nico's inability to allow Mico to make him happy in Ichico's place was ultimately what allowed Ragnarok to reach a critical point as quickly as it did. He certainly won't allow it to get to that point again, but rooting himself in the high of getting married rather than looking forward to the perpetuity of married life rings a bit of a bell, and one that Andy is quick to silence

This Too Shall Pass

Andy himself needs to take a future-focused stance like this, as if he doesn't, he would certainly go insane...again. In L100, he spent 200 years trying to kill himself because he saw no future in his immortality, just a constant waste of time with no purpose or goal. He would never find love, and any love he did find would be fleeting, as he would watch everyone he cared for slip away. He'd peaked when he had his gang in the Wild West, and everything since then was downhill

Until he met Fuuko

Once Fuuko was in Andy's life, suddenly every day was better than the last. Every day was fun, every day was worth living, and even when he couldn't see her anymore, when he was stuck eternally burning alive on the sun, he knew that there would be a day when the suffering would end. Because he had something to look forward to, the knowledge that things would get better, Andy was able to put up with literally the most painful hardship anyone has ever experienced without a word of complaint

All thanks to Fuuko

No Fate But What We Make

Fuuko, of course, went through the same thing, just on a much smaller scale. She went through ten years of believing that there was no future in a life where she couldn't touch anyone, and the only thing that kept her going was the serialization of a manga. Once it ended, so too did the roadmap of her life; if the only thing she could look forward to was the next chapter, there was no future without one

It was only when she met Andy that she began to see possibilities for herself, that that there was a reason to keep going. Because of Andy, Fuuko was able to look ahead and make a real plan for herself, to commit to multiple preparations and contingencies across 200 years of loneliness, to lay the foundation for her and everyone else's happiness

All thanks to Andy

But Fuuko interestingly takes the opposite approach here. While she builds her future, she seems to think of it as a culmination of the past. She says that the moment of their meeting wasn't the start of their story, but rather Andy's very creation was the start, that he and his life choices are what brought the present and future into possibility. Fuuko attributes all of her successes to him, a domino chain that simply swept her along

But just like Andy corrected Nico, so too does he correct Fuuko

"It started with you, Andy. If you were never born, then I -" "Ha! It was just dumb luck. You're the one that turned that luck into fate."

In this moment, Fuuko has an external locus of control, believing herself to have been dealt a bad hand and that she just got lucky when she swapped out her cards, but that's not what Andy sees. He sees a woman who made the right calls with what she had, who swapped out the right cards and made the right bluffs to turn a bad hand around and win big anyway, and he doesn't want her to lose sight of that

Just like he doesn't want Nico to think his life is going downhill, he doesn't want Fuuko to think her life isn't in her control. If life isn't in your control, then neither is your happiness; anything you have can be taken away, and you forfeit the ability to take it back. Again, Andy can attest to that: he only found Fuuko by sheer dumb luck

No one orchestrated their meeting, it just happened, and it was only because Fuuko made the choice to embrace the consequences of that meeting that their lives turned out for the best. If Fuuko hadn't pushed herself to kiss Andy and save both of them from being captured by the Union, she likely would have been killed and he probably would have somehow found his way back to being Victor, this persona fading into nothing while still remaining unnamed

When hardships inevitably come Fuuko's way again, she needs to understand that she can't rely on luck to save her, but she can rely on herself. She's proven it a thousand times, and even become someone that everyone else can rely on; with her own hands, she defied everyone's destinies and forged a happy ending for all of them. That's not something that could have just happened by the whims of fate, only by the choices of someone with the strength to take control of their own life. After 100 loops with only subtle variations thanks to the minimal interference of the only one who could, the 101st has the chance to create the perfect ending specifically because Fuuko chose to interfere when given the opportunity

And now she has the opportunity to interfere one last time

Let's Enjoy Life

We've talked about it endlessly at this point, but Ruin is a clear foil to Andy in a ton of ways, and this chapter is a perfect illustration of that concept, literally. Not only is this fight happening on the bridge where Andy and Fuuko first met, the flow of the battle itself is like a speedrun of the first 20 chapters

The meteors and lightning from last chapter, getting hit by a vehicle and reduced to a head (the train in ch.1 or the truck in ch.2), having his body sealed by specially made Union containers (eye-scar guy in ch.1), getting pummeled by Void on the highway (ch.2), facing Shen immediately after (ch.3), then jumping straight to being launched into space by Nyoi Kinko (ch.16). Even the way he talks, insisting "this isn't enough to kill me" is pretty much exactly what Andy and Victor would say whenever anyone would hit them with anything - because he thinks they're trying to kill him

But that's not the goal. It never was

Tozuka played a fun little trick on us from the very beginning of the series. By calling UU "the story of [the] quest for the greatest death ever," the expectation that was set up was that we would see the most extravagant, bombastic and show-stopping death ever put to page, that the goal was to find the one thing that could actually overcome immortality. He made a promise that the story would end with Andy's demise and all the spectacle that came with it

With this chapter, it is clear that this was a promise that Tozuka had no intention of keeping

Not in the sense that Andy won't die, I have a hard time seeing this series ending without that punctuation to his story, but the death itself is no longer the purpose of the journey, and I would argue never really has been. The "greatest death ever" is one that comes at the end of a fulfilling life, one where the deceased is surrounded by people who love them and, even through the tears and grief, everyone can look back and smile. This was the lesson that Fuuko learned in ch.1 as she fell to what she thought was her death; the suicide that was meant to end her suffering simply put into perspective how empty her life had been, and being saved, being held, being shown affection by Andy showed her what her life could be

Ch.1 was a perfect preview of the rest of the series, because as I've said many times over by now, Andy and Fuuko's stories are near identical. Just as Fuuko learned that life needs to be lived for death to have meaning, so too would Andy. And now, two hundred and twenty chapters later, Tozuka has finally paid off that slow burn by having Andy acknowledge that he enjoys life!

And now he wants Ruin to do the same.

"I've got one rule and one rule only!! ... Now, c'mon, You follow it too!! Let's enjoy what life has to offer!!"

"You follow it too."

Andy doesn't want to kill Ruin. He wants Ruin to understand the truth. Ruin loves the world, and that's a start, but he wants to eliminate the thing that makes the world truly beautiful - the people in it. Andy's "ridiculously long life" was pointless because he was alone, and Ruin's life is set to be just as long. He insists that he only needs the Rules, but how long can that sustain his soul? At best, madness is all that awaits him, but as we said, a life that accepts it will never be happier is one that has accepted it will be unhappy

Ruin needs to be shown that his way of life will only lead to unhappiness, and that there's a better way. That loving people and being loved by people is better than hating them and isolating from them. Just like Andy drifted through life ambiently allowing things to happen to him, taking opportunities as they came along rather than actively working towards a goal, so too is Ruin losing control in this fight. He's getting smacked around like a rag doll by the culmination of the life that Andy lived, and the Rules he hid behind to distance himself from humanity can't do a damn thing to help him

When Andy thought there was nothing more he could do, that he had to sacrifice himself to the Union to keep Fuuko alive, she stepped up to save both of them, reaching out to someone else for the first time. That was the moment Andy's life started to change, the moment that Andy was truly born, and I believe that Ruin is about to learn exactly what that's like

Undeath and Rebirth

The official twitter gave us a fun bit of insight this week: in L100, the mark over Ruin's eye that I've been calling a scar this whole time was actually a birthmark. While the mark from Remember on Andy actually is a scar, it was present from the moment of Andy's creation, making it functionally identical to a birthmark

But now, in L101, both of these birthmarks are gone. Andy no longer has Remember, and Victor is no longer trying to return, so his wound has healed; meanwhile, Ruin's natural birthmark has been subsumed by a wound. Andy is no longer defined by his origin and now can look toward the future, while Ruin is likely hiding from his origin, covering it up and ignoring the implications of it

Andy was reborn and able to heal, but Ruin is more damaged than ever; more ruined than ever. With his birthmark gone, the pain of his past can be left in the past, but by marring himself so grievously, there will always be a reminder of it. It will only be once Ruin learns to look forward like Andy, like Fuuko, that he will be able to heal and be reborn as well. It is only then that he will cease to be ruined

Conclusion

Of course, this is all assuming that Tozuka actually cares enough about Ruin to keep him around and actively develop him. For all I know, this is going to be another Kururu situation where I'm filling holes that Tozuka only ever planned to leave empty, but as I've said a thousand times, Tozuka has built up more than enough good will for me to give him that benefit of the doubt. I wholeheartedly believe that Tozuka has a plan for Ruin (and hopefully for Kururu too), but in the end I'll still be okay with it either way so long as he uses them properly to develop and analyze Andy and Fuuko

At the end of the day, Ruin's character has given me another angle to approach our leads from, and that's what a good foil is supposed to do. Even if Ruin doesn't accept the lessons and is made to be an illustration of what happens when one refuses to live their life no matter what, that's just as good narratively, even if it's sad to think about. We'll just have to keep reading and enjoy what Tozuka has to offer, whatever that may be

...Ah, crumbs, do I need to change my sign-off???

The original translation was "let's enjoy life," but presumably for either accuracy or dramatic flair, David Evelyn went with "what life has to offer" this time. Now that it's been introduced in canon, that's the quote that's going to become iconic, and most people won't know about Tozuka's convention appearance or the chapter blurb that only appeared in the original magazine run! "Let's enjoy life" is inevitably going to be forgotten as the phrasing of the sentiment, so should I fight the tides and stick with the original, or accept reality and adapt accordingly...

...Well, when I put it that way, after everything I've said in this review, I think my choice is pretty clear. If anyone wants me to go back to the old way, let me know, but for now:

Until next time, let's enjoy what life has to offer!!

[apollos-favorite-child]

ooc post abt some drama

So I’m pretty sure everyone has either interacted with @/demigod-jack-hearth or at least seen some of the posts that were made abt his Circe au. I’ve been trying to keep track of everyone’s thoughts on this (namely @unhinged-waterlilly and @if-chaos-was-a-boy who both have really helpful posts about it) and since I’m capable of producing coherent thoughts every once in a while, I thought I would share my thoughts on all of this.

So I should probably start with the AU, which really was the cause of a lot of this chaos. So first of all, making it in the first place was a very interesting choice. I’m not sure if Jack based it more off the odyssey or the epic musical, but either way it’s just a very weird decision. I understand people like to project on their character which makes sense, but Jack never mentioned being r@ped. (And I hope he never was) but it feels like if he was comfortable enough to make that part of an AU, he would’ve probably mentioned it one of the times he was trying to defend himself.

I understand that HE might’ve thought it was a fine change to make since he was comfortable with it, but I’ve seen a handful of people saying it made them uncomfortable. I’m aware it’s not his job to make sure everyone is happy, but the whole AU was really unnecessary knowing it could’ve made someone uncomfortable.

People even went to Jack saying they were v!ctims and they didn’t like his AU, and he basically told them to fuck off, without ANY condolences or apologies to the people for having to go through that. Those people shared their experiences and he just didn’t care.

And YES Odysseus is a fictional character, but his trauma is still basically being disrespected. I’ve seen a couple of people saying other are being dramatic since they are angry about him being invalidated, but it makes sense to me why they would be angry.

One anon (who was a sa victim of I remember right) came to Jack being rude, and SO many people have been rude to this anon, calling them either rude or dramatic, but honestly I think they were just really angry about what Jack had done (which is perfectly understandable) and they didn’t really think or bother to be polite when they sent that. They made a mistake too, but I don’t think jacks response was any better.

And once he realized that he was wrong (after having to be confronted by multiple people) he NEVER apologized. The words “I’m sorry” were not on a single one of his posts. He basically was just trying and failing to defend himself. This all could’ve been solved much quicker with a simple apology, but he’s more concerned with making sure everyone likes him and that he’s right so he doesn’t have to deal with any guilt.

And now he’s apparently disappeared and has been self harming and just struggling a lot. But you want to know what I find interesting? Jack never mentioned having a boyfriend, and now Fred has taken control of his account, responding to almost everyone and trying to defend Jack. I might be the only one, but I did NOT understand how to use tumblr at first, and it took me a while until I even learned how to reblog people and tag stuff. Even once I did learn how to tag people, I wasn’t tagging 20+ people on every post like Jack does. Another interesting thing is that the blog said something along the lines of “I didn’t mean to blah blah blah” and sounded like it was Jack defending himself, but then the message ended with -Freddy

If I was Fred, I would’ve made ONE post explaining why Jack disappeared, and not mentioning any of the sh or breakdowns. He could’ve made a post without mentioning all of that and disrespecting jacks privacy. Instead, he’s been responding to every person and mostly trying to defend Jack in every one of them. He also said he locked Jack out of his tumblr account, which you LITERALLY CANNOT DO unless he took away Jacks phone, which just seems really controlling, even if he did think it was best for Jack. So yes, this is me saying that I don’t think Fred is real. Especially since Jack is a ROLEPLAYER, and we are completely used to acting like different people.

Going back to the self-harm topic, I think that parts very weird as well. He’s made self harm jokes, and while I know perfectly well people can use humor as a coping mechanism, that’s just another really insensitive thing to do. It just doesn’t really make sense to me how you can make self harm jokes one week and then let your boyfriend tell a bunch of people on the internet you’ve been trying to hurt yourself.

Overall I think this spiraled into a lot more than it should’ve been, and this all wouldn’t have happened if he had just apologized, or just never have made that AU.

jacks tag list- @zariahthewitch @thegroovydaughterofhestia @if-chaos-was-a-boy @the-gods-strange-children @silena-daughterofaphrodite

@fabulousdaughterofhecate @weakest-son-of-sun @chaos-pers0nified @neoptolemus-achilles-son

@bast-the-best26 @goddess-of-bubblegum @gaygirldoodles @luck-is-crucial

@reyna4ever @vicious-daughter-of-zeus @feral-hermes-child @oopsies-i-did-a-thing @unfortunate-daughter-of-hestia

@that-girl-cupid @ariathemortal @love-lightning-forethought @emdabitchass

@kaiaalwayswins @champion-of-revenge @i-was-never-sane @clown-energy-skyrocketing @zoe-aura-of-d3ath

@itsyourboyezra @lunar-eklipso-r @pink-koi-lovejoy @that-daughter-of-athena

@sleepy-as-a-song @smileyalater @thedaughter-of-death @gellyhelio @daughter-ofthe-moontitan

@demeters-daughter-is-done @the-smart-and-the-dumb-one @trinket-snatcher @southerndaughterofeos

@creature-under-ur-bed @burnt-out-bitxhes

[grimrester]

i lied! i did big fibs, i have more to say about the watcher situation after all. some assorted thoughts:

1. i'm a little surprised at just how big the rift is in the fandom post-apology. if i go into the tag, it literally alternates between "you guys are twisted sickos for bullying them into walking back the new platform" and "you guys are major chumps for accepting the apology and my trust is permanently damaged." this is a fandom that previously seemed pretty monolithic to me as an outsider, so i wonder if this will have long term implications for the sustainability of their fandom.

2. they said there'd be a "free subscription" to the platform for patreon supporters. makes sense, since their patreon tiers are mostly more expensive than the watchertv sub. this was presented as an indefinite sub dependent on continuing to pay their patreon, but patrons are receiving emails saying the sub is actually only for 3 free months. i'm like 90% sure this is the same kind of situation where they encouraged password sharing even though the platform doesn't enable it. they once again just seem to not fucking know what the vimeo ott platform they're using is capable of doing. they have to stop making statements like this until they get a better understanding of it because it's continuing to make them look bad.

3. there are multiple reports on reddit that at least ryan and sara (shane's spouse) are deleting comments on their instagram. look, i get it, some of the things people are saying are downright vile. the pointed targeting of steven and the borderline fanfic-writing quality of some of the theories about what went down interpersonally on the team during this decision is fucking weird at best and racist/invasive at worst. furthermore, i dont think making comments on personal instagrams is a good way to be heard. but on the other hand, controlling what people say on your platform right after you made a "we hear you" statement is really bad optics. obviously i think they have a right to delete anything that's outright bigoted, but it seems like they're deleting anything decidedly negative.

4. some of the comments getting deleted are about potential "fake" or "plant" patrons trying to skew the narrative positively on the watcher patreon. i frankly think this is unfounded conspiracy shit until i see substantial proof, but deleting these comments in particular without responding can cause some straight up streisand effect. this can really quickly start snowballing if they make it look like they don't want anyone talking about it. overall i just don't know if they understand just how much they're under the microscope right now. i didn't have to search very much to dig this stuff up - people are watching and documenting them. i think the variety article revealing they did initially intend to remove their backlog and them trying to pretend they didn't walk that back has caused a lot of people to hyper-inspect their every move. they're already in the youtube drama content cycle, and they risk someone making a blowout exposé if they aren't careful.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Establishing Contact with Headmates

Hello everyone! Not sure if we’ve ever made a post like this before, but I wanted to put together a post with tips on establishing contact with alters for those who suspect they may be a system or have a complex dissociative disorder.

This is written with folks with DID in mind, but this advice may be useful for systems of any sort!

So you think you may be a system. You may have had one-off interactions with an alter, experienced auditory or visual “hallucinations” that manifest from inside, deal with unexplained time loss and memory gaps, lack a solid sense of self, feel disconnected from your body and reality, find yourself spacing out or daydreaming often, understand you have a significant trauma history (even if you can’t remember what the trauma was), or feel like you’re not alone in your own head. You’re not sure if you may be plural, and want to determine whether or not you’re alone in your own mind.

If any of this describes you, we have some advice that may help you learn more about your system and connect with your headmates. Here are some things you can try that may help.

1. Attempt to establish a connection internally.

Explore the possibility of not being the only presence inside your mind. In a calm, safe environment, reach out with messages inside, and see if you get anything in response. Ask internally things like “is there anyone else here?” “Am I alone inside my mind?” Provide reassurance that any potential alters are safe and that you can be trusted.

Accept the fact that you may not hear from anyone straight away. Alters may be scared to come forward or reveal themselves, you may have heavy dissociative barriers, or it may take time to build up trust. Make a habit of reaching out once or twice a day. Try not to be pushy, angry, or quick to become frustrated - if it gets overwhelming, take a step back to cool off. Understand that change does not happen overnight, and if you have alters, it will take some time to build a base of communication between each other.

2. Attempt to establish a connection externally.

In addition to reaching out in your mind, try writing notes to potential alters. This can be in a Google Doc, a journal, post-it notes, the notes app on your phone, or anywhere else. Encourage potential alters to write back, reminding them that they are safe, there’s no pressure to come forward quickly, and that you are trustworthy and capable of creating a comfortable environment for them.

Consider setting up a PluralKit or TupperBox on Discord. These programs allow you to set up multiple profiles that act as bots, allowing one account to share many profiles and post from each one separately. Set up a server for yourself, and post instructions in the server on how to create a PluralKit or TupperBox profile. That way, an alter who fronts later can make their own profile if they wish. This can allow you and your alters to communicate externally and learn more about each other.

3. Ask for help outside.

If you feel like you may be a system, it could be helpful to try broaching the subject with an individual you know well and trust. Be careful who you share this information with! Talking about the system with potential abusers or individuals who have harmed you in the past may cause internal strife and discourage headmates from wanting to get in touch with you.

Ask a friend or loved one if they’ve noticed you acting strange or differently in the past. Have they noticed you spacing out or dissociating, speaking in an unusual tone or accent, or acting in ways that are normally uncharacteristic for you? Can they shed light on your past and reveal aspects of yourself that you had forgotten or never known about? Being able to discuss this with someone else may help shake an alter loose, or could help make it clear whether or not you’re a system.

4. Seek therapy.

Better still than speaking to a friend or loved one is speaking to a therapist. Therapists are trained mental health professionals who are equipped with tools to help struggling individuals with a wide variety of mental illnesses. Even if you are functioning excellently and feel like you don’t suffer from any mental illness, if you’re wondering if you have headmates, it may be a good idea to try talking about it with a therapist.

Of course, a specialist in trauma and dissociation would be preferred (especially if you exhibit symptoms of dissociation or PTSD), but any therapist should be able to help you make sense of what’s going on in your mind.

If you have faced religious trauma in the past, please avoid seeking help from a faith-based therapist. If you have faced trauma from teachers, guidance counselors, or other school staff, please avoid seeking help from a school-based therapist. This is in order to keep your system safe, and to reassure your headmates that you do not wish to retraumatize them or put them in harm’s way.

Remember that therapists are humans without superpowers. They are capable of malpractice, misdiagnosis, and personal bias. If you do not mesh or click well with your therapist, it’s absolutely okay to leave them and find another one. Trust does not come immediately in therapy, and it may take some time working with a therapist before you feel comfortable enough to bring up the possibility of plurality. That’s perfectly normal and nothing to be concerned about! Take your time, be as open and honest as you can, and trust your instincts.

Hopefully these tips can help you reach out to potential alters, build trust and connection, and learn more about yourself in the process! If it turns out you’re not a system after all, that’s okay, and it means a lot that it’s an experience you’d be open to learning more about and exploring.

Remember to be PUNK to yourself and your potential system - show patience, understanding, neutrality, and kindness to yourself as you go through this process! Thanks so much for reading - we wish you all health and safety in your future and hope you have a lovely day!