#cant share this with my friends so i guess i’ll post it here

[againstme]

the sun is setting on the first of the year, i feel like shit. none of the dinners that they have are anything i can eat cause there was only two of the one i liked.

they’re gonna yell throughout the house for dinner. i’m just gonna stay in bed. and take my meds at 7.

then, i guess it’s just regular programming tomorrow.

holidays suck. they suck here, so much. but i don’t even yearn to be around other people that aren’t here. too scared to be around my family, too anxious or too much to be around my friends. i guess i just want to be alone.

i’m stuck here, until i have an idea of a place to go. i have nowhere to return to. i have no idea of where to go, what to do, who to be. who i want to be.

where does one go when they don’t have any place to call home? part of me just wants to sink into the earth. to look at someone across the street while a bus passes, disappearing into the night, never to be seen again.

i wish i could throw a dart at a map, see what sticks and just go there. i’ve been to so many places, trying to fit in, carving this square peg into a round one, barely fitting it in. not close, but quite. i still stick out like a sore thumb.

i want to find a place that fits. a box that’s made for me. something stable, and nice, where i’m not relying on people as much. some place where i can relax, and breathe, be myself, and be at peace.

i’ve never felt stable. it’s always been rocky. filled with ups and downs, waves crashing like i’m out at sea. i feel like, at this point, i’m neck deep in the water, reaching my arms out for help. a friend looks out at me from a boat, holding a life jacket in their hand, but never tossing it to me. we make eye contact as i start to drown, both knowing that i can’t swim.

i’ve felt my life flash before my eyes, forcing me to reflect. so much crying, whether from laughter, or from sadness. the nights i went to sleep, wishing i didn’t wake up. but i did. was it worth it? seeing another day? waking up with too much tylenol in my stomach and ringing in my ears? wishing that it was done, that it was over, that i could finally stop being a burden? to stop having people waste their energy focusing on me, so they can go on with their lives?

some days, i wish that it worked. that the tylenol burned a hole in my stomach, that the cuts weren’t too shallow, that the makeshift rope made out of my bedsheets could actually hold my weight. that i never called anybody.

being here, in treatment, felt okay at first. but now, i feel like leaving. i don’t like my psychiatrist, i don’t like my therapist, my trauma therapy is rough. i don’t feel like what i went through was bad enough, whatever that means. that i’m taking up a bed that someone else could be in.

i’m skipping lunch, save for chips and coffee, and shaking throughout most days. getting bad sleep, being woken up at 6, skipping breakfast most days, filling up on coffee, and the cycle repeats.

the cycle always repeats. and i have nowhere to go.

[23lvrs]

sexting jaemin

jaemin x reader 18+

click on the bold underlined text for twt link

YN: sooo u home alone or what

JM: why🤔

YN: yk why…

JM: nope i don’t

YN: attachment

JM: you’re so needy bby but i am home but i’m leaving soon

YN: help me out it will be fast i promise

JM: i leave like really soon but i’ll help my needy bby i guess cuz i love u sm

attachment

wish you were here using your pretty little hands

ok bby i cant send more i’m about to leave my friend rlly needs me to bring him smth

YN: jaem please just one more plsss i’m almost there

JM: god you’re so fkn needy hold up

attachment

u made make such a mess

YN: after you being ur friend wtv u need to give him come over so i can clean up my mess

JM: you’re going to be doing a lot more than just cleaning up your mess. be ready

a/n: i feel like my sexting post kinda suck tbh… idk but i hope you enjoy this anyways

masterlist for more of my work twitter for extra & early content

likes, cmts & shares appreciated :)

[justsome-stars]

Embrace it - Redscape

College/University AU - 2,000+ words - Beta read by @boxbugdotcom

Notes: I haven’t actually posted anything ive written since Middle School, so im a bit skeptical on how well received this will be. My friend did beta read it and said it was really good, so I’ll be trusting his word. Let me know if i should post more writing, i guess? Soft criticism is welcome!

Story below the cut!

Trying to catch your cat from running away and leg braces dont mix well. Scar had to learn this the hard way.

His dorm-mate left the door open to bring in some packages and Jellie took her chances at dashing out of the door. Scar nearly screamed, jumping up from his chair and trying his very best to catch up to the mischievous cat.

There was a violent prodding in his legs, metal bars shifting and knocking at his shins as he ran down the corridor, or tried to, at least. Jellie had made it to the T in the corridor, making a sharp turn to dart down the other side of the hall.

A door opened in front of Jellie, blocking her path. Her head nearly collided with the wood of the door, if it weren’t for a perfectly timed foot blocking her body from going any further. She yowled in alarm, skidding to a halt and dropping to the floor.

A lengthy, immaculately dressed man stepped out from the door, retracting his foot and leaning down to check on the frightened cat. He cooed at Jellie, offering his hand for her to sniff. She did so, however opting to rub her cheek against the hand presented to her. The black haired man giggled, petting her happily.

Scar gasped for air, doing his best to catch up, but the grating metal against his legs began to sting with every hit. He had only just rounded the corner when his leg locked in a straight stretched position and he stumbled into the wall, clutching it for support.

“Jellie!” Scar yelped, scanning the hall for the runaway cat.

She sat at the other man’s knees, nearly climbing into his lap, practically grinning as she was showered with attention, which halted as soon as Scar called for her. Scar groaned, trying to hobble to her.

The man looked up from Jellie, standing quickly. Jellie looked at him confused, but turned to peer down the hall with him.

Scar had finally gotten somewhat closer, to which the man who had been previously pampering Jellie with pets ran to his aid. Jellie begrudgingly followed.

“A—Are you ok?” He asked, with a thick british accent, concerned. He was practically shaking, anxiously scanning for what may have happened. He quickly caught on to the braces on Scar’s legs, one of which was locked tightly.

Scar looked up, eyes widening as he recognized the man. He had seen him countless times around campus, even sharing a class with him a semester ago, and several group projects. Joel had teased him a few times, urging him to talk to the ravenette outside of classes. Scar always denied, far too embarrassed to say something. But he was talking to him first, so surely he could muster up some sort of response, right?

“Uh—” Scar paled, eyes locking with Mumbo’s. The taller man falters, quickly looking away. “Yeah—I mean yes. Yeah I’m great. Stellar.”

Mumbo’s brows furrowed, caught off guard by Scar’s attempt of a response. “Are—are you sure? You were limping…”

“Huh….yeah, yeah. Just fine. Wonderful.” Scar continued, hurriedly looking away. “You….you haven’t happened to have seen a cat run past have you?” He asked, unaware of the cat that sat on the floor beside him.

“I did. She uh….oh.” Mumbo stopped, looking around and then down, stooping down to pick Jellie up. She obliged, leaning against Mumbo’s chest as he stands back up. “Right here.”

Scar sighs in relief, scowling lightly at the cat, perched smugly in the tall man’s arms. “There you are, Jellie. You really cant do that. You know i cant keep up…” Scar rambled, talking to the cat as though she understood.

It brought a smile to Mumbo’s lips, but it faltered when he remembered the condition Scar was in. “Would you…um. Can i help you? Your brace, did it lock? The support rods look like they’ve gotten loose, or maybe something disconnected? If you want, we can get you to my dorm and i can help you?”

Going to a pretty guy’s dorm? Sign him the hell up.

“Yes! I mean, yeah. That would be nice.” Scar smiled, looking down to his leg.

Mumbo nods, offering a hand to Scar, who gladly takes it. With his assistance, and the wall for support, Scar made it to the open dorm door. Mumbo guides him inside and brings him to a pleasant looking couch, allowing him to sit down. Scar sighed in relief, the pressure on his legs from standing no longer an issue. He let his body sink into the couch, smiling up to Mumbo in thanks.

The taller man smiled back, allowing Scar to get comfortable before running into a room. Once he was out of sight, it made Scar question his surroundings.

The room he was in was considerably big, furnished neatly with bookshelves on nearly every wall. A built in kitchen and island table, surrounded by bar stools. There seemed to be six in total, but there might have been one more pushed in somewhere out of sight.

There were several closed doors, each decorated uniquely with photos, colors and large letters: Scar guessed they were the names of who the dorm room belonged to. Tango, a bright orange door decorated with fire motifs, Impulse, a black door with a large I as the decoration, Skizz, nearly identical to Impulse’s door except for an S in replacement of the large I, and lastly was Mumbo’s door, black wood decorated tastefully with a bright accenting red. It stood out, by far.

Scar had been in Tango’s dorm once, but he had been considerably drunk, and barely remembered a thing. What he could recall, however, is that Jimmy had been losing his mind that entire night about being in Tango’s room, practically burning up whenever the redstoner so much as spares him a glance. If Scar wasn’t mistaken, he found the two making out not an hour later. Although that may have been to spite Scott, who had been invited to the same party as them the week prior and had been asking around about Jimmy. Or maybe it was the time he spent over at Grian’s? It was fuzzy…

Mumbo’s door was open, which Scar assumed it was where Mumbo had run off to. The room inside, although far and a bit fuzzy due to Scar’s diminished eyesight, looked clean, calm. If he wasn’t in a constant amount of pain, he would have loved to see what was in there up close. If he wished on his lucky stars, he might just.

Mumbo returned, a tool bag in hand and a hurry in his step. “Sorry…I didn’t mean to leave you by yourself for so long.” He apologized, sitting onto the coffee table across from Scar.

“No problem, really. I’ve got Jellie, after all!” Scar beamed, petting the cat that now clung to his side. Maybe it was that she was sorry for causing him harm or worry? Either way, Scar would forgive her without a second thought. “She’s good company, except when she makes a daring escape…although that might have been my fault. I promised to take her out today for a walk, but I got so busy. Poor girl.” Scar mused, scratching behind one of her ears. Her head tilted in content.

Mumbo hummed in response, eyes drawing over Scar slowly. If you caught him at the right time, you could say he had hearts in his eyes.

He took a moment, before grounding himself with the realization of Scar’s discomfort, or rather pain. Setting his tool bag onto the floor, he began to pull out various metal wrenches and the like.

“What kind of brace are these?” Mumbo asked, shifting through his bag and simultaneously gauging the bolt sizes on the sides of Scar’s braces.

Scar thinks for a moment, trying his best to remember just what his doctor called them. “They’re uh—full range 300 something steel. I think.”

“304? Cause that’s the most typical grade, and, well, I'm guessing it's stainless steel..” Mumbo began talking about words Scar had little use in understanding. All he knew was that a pretty man was interested in him. Well, interested in his safety. But to Scar, that was the same thing.

Scar babbled on a little longer about Jellie, to which Mumbo listened contently, even offering a thought or two before he had all he needed to fix the brace.

Mumbo sat up straight, hand outstretched to grasp Scar’s leg, but he retracted it momentarily. “Uh..Can I?” He asked instead, gesturing to Scar’s leg.

Scar nodded, lifting his leg. Mumbo takes it, resting it on his lap and inspected the brace with deft eyes, noting every dent, every scratch, every sticker Grian put on them to make them “more Scar”. He could see how much Scar depended on them just by the amount of usage and memories engraved into the metal.

Scar would be lying if he said he didn't melt into Mumbo’s soft, attentive touch. Mumbo’s hands, although bigger than his own, were surprisingly gentle, lingering on his skin as he observed the broken brace.

“What’s all the stickers from?” Mumbo spoke up, slightly quieter due to closer proximity.

“Oh—” Scar looked up from the spot he had been unintentionally staring at, looking at the bridge of Mumbo’s nose, rather than actually having eye contact. “Those. Yeah. Those are from my, uh, my friend. He put them on my braces so they were more personal looking, or something like that..”

Mumbo listens, nodding and picking up a smaller wrench, fitting it around a bolt by Scar’s knee. Carefully, he began to loosen the screw and bolt, cautiously avoiding bumping his legs even the smallest amount.

Jellie leaned down to inspect what Mumbo was doing, even going as far as to sniff Scar’s knee, maybe it had just been out of concern. Scar almost shivered as Mumbo’s hand ghosts over his shin as he fully unscrews the bolt and screw.

If he doesn’t stop running his hand over my leg like that, I’m gonna end up kicking him by accident, Scar thought, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from moving even a little.

Soon, Mumbo had fully replaced the screw and bolt, and made sure it was functioning properly once again, then pulling away to clean up his mess of tools. Scar hid his disappointment in the loss of contact, missing the warmth that radiated from Mumbo’s oddly soft palms.

For a guy who tinkers everyday, Scar thought, his hands are surprisingly soft.

“How’s it feel?” Mumbo asked, looking up from moving a hammer to stuff a wrench back into the bag. “Did I fix it? If not that's ok, just tell me I can—”

“It’s perfect.” Scar cut him off, grabbing onto one of Mumbo’s hands. “Thank you, really. It means a lot to me.”

Mumbo flushed, looking away. “God—good. I mean good.” He stuttered, looking down to his hand that was covered by Scar’s, who squeezed his hand just a tad in reassurance.

“Really. I mean, if it weren’t for you, I think Jellie here would’ve ran off for real. You’re a hero, Mumbo!” Scar praised him, chuckling as the red dusted across Mumbo’s cheeks darkened, like the redstone he loved so much.

Jellie jumped from Scar’s lap into Mumbo’s, leaning against him. “I think she’s saying a “thank you.” She must really like you.” Scar pointed out, almost joking in tone, but honest in truth. Me too.

“You think so?” Mumbo asked, looking down at the cat in his lap. She lifts her head, nose tapping against his. Mumbo smiles and Scar’s heart swells at the image.

“I know so.”

They subconsciously leaned into one another, giving Jellie pets and talking every once in a while. At some point, Mumbo moved to sit next to Scar, whose head fell onto his shoulder. They stay like this for a while, which both Scar and Jellie were grateful for.

“I almost kicked you on accident earlier,” Scar admitted. “When you were trying to unscrew the thingy.” He points to the bolt on his knee.

“Oh?” Mumbo chuckled. “As in a bad way, or in a “that tickles i'm gonna kick out of reflex” way?”

“Reflex.”

“Huh.”

“I wouldn’t actually want to kick you, y’know.”

“I hope not—”

Jellie makes a small noise of agitation, upset she wasn’t being given attention. Mumbo starts to scratch behind her ear and she falls silent again.

“Why in the world would I want to kick a pretty guy?” Scar asked, brows furrowed, but smiling nonetheless.

Mumbo didn’t say anything for a while, which worried Scar. He lifted his head, looking up at Mumbo. “Sorry, was that weird?”

“No—no. It's just…” Mumbo looked down into his lap at Jellie rather than Scar, “You think I'm pretty?”

“Well of course I do!” Scar perked up, “I think you’re downright gorgeous, Mumbo.”

The way Scar stated it, no hesitation in sight, made Mumbo’s heart flutter.

“Thank you..” He mumbled, finally looking Scar in the eye.

Neither of them were sure who leaned in first, but as they got closer, lips mere centimeters apart, Jellie sat up. She meowed impatiently, nosing Scar’s hand.

Darn it, Jellie.

[pebiejeebies]

PART 10 (FINALE) OF MY CABLOON ANALYSIS! GO TO MY #CABLOON-ANALYSIS TAG TO FIND THE FIRST POST!

(I’m gonna make it easier to access the older ones, I’ll make a master post, then I’ll make it so you can check the next part by a link so you don’t manually tire yourself, give me some time cause I need a mental break from my shutdown 😭‼️)

Literally one of the most precious moments I’ve screen recorded in my whole life, the way he’s sitting beside her, laughing just like her, writing in her files, both of them equally sharing the same annoyed stare at silver spoon (Which is something a lot more common than I thought it was)

THIS.

This is just.. *wipes away tear*

Too perfect..

I wonder what happens to Mephone..? (Good lord I am still traumatized till this 

Now expect MANY MANY MANY random screenshots of my babies togethr 

STOP HOW BALLOON EXCITEDLY INFODUMPS WITH CABBY JANSHEHSHQJJEDHHJWWJ

They’re autistics in love I tell you

LOOK AT HOW HE’S TOUCHING HER AHHH (please don’t thkae that out of context omfg—)

I have a feeling that she was slightly uncomfortable here (sTOP PROJECTING YOURSELF ONTO CABBY PEBIE!! STOP!!)

Its canon guys he was trying to impress her here too

Why else would he give her that smug ass look?!/vpos

Then he sees uninterested cabby and gets sad :(

stop guys it’s actually so sad

The way she got excited when she said that was SO SASAADDDDD 

SHES SO STRESSED OMG I FEEL YOU GIRL AAHHHHHH

AHAHGSGAHHSHHEHGWG😭😭‼️‼️

I CANTT THE POOR GIRL IS HORRIFIED

Unsure if she was looking at Mephone or Balloon, but I guess they’re beside each other here, so uh excuse me lol

STOP

STOOOOPPP

THEYRE IN SYNC YALL

LOOOOOOOOK!!! HANDS ON HIPS, SAME FUCKING FACE TWICE, AND IN THE SAME SCENE TOO OMFG

CABBY AND BALLOON RAISE ONE HAND AUTISTICALLY, AND THE OTHER LIKE SILVER SPOON, FROM. THE. SAME. SIDE. AND LITERALLY HAVE A SIMILAR FACE!! I-I CANT BELIEVE HOW MUCH THEYRE ACTING LIKE EACH OTHER WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING IT IM FUCKING EVAPORATING AND EXPLODING… EXVAPORATING!!!

THATS LIKE.. 3 SYNCED POSES + EMOTIONS IN ONE SCENE IM GONNA CRY

GRRRRRR HOW COULD YOU SHAKE MY BOY LIKE THAT!!

ALSO. WHO THE FUCK DARES CALL MY BABIES INSECTS.. LOOK WHO THE FUCK CAME FROM THE DEPTHS OF EARTH ITSELF LOOKING LIKE ONE!!/silly /nsrs /omfgdontkillmeafterthisplease—

Erm actually… Cabby and Balloon are definitely engaging after this. Real. And uh she has AWESOME YINYANG, AAAAND BOT!! Balloom has an awkwardly clingy and.. well.. pathetic friend aswell, but hey! Even they have something to leave with! Look at silver spoon..

He doesn’t have candle on his side anymore

Btw.. look at this: You see how Balloon is holding his arm and looking at cabby?

Do you think he, well… wants to hold her hand?

LIKE— NO SERIOUSLY LOOK

STOOOPP AAAHHH MY HEART

YOU CANT TELL ME THAT HE ISNT WORRIED ABOUT CREEPING HER OUT IF HE HELD HER HAND

(Uh wow maybe me projecting myself up there could make sense— OH MY GOD IM GETTING SO MUCH HEADCANONS IM HAVING A HEADACHE YEEEOWWCH)

It’s either (Read this well cause it might confuse you the first time you read it)

He wants comfort from her

Or

He wants to comfort her

Or

This is all accidentally lining up too well

Or

I’m just delusional and this isn’t even lining up at all

WOOOOAAAAAHHH!! EPIC BATTLE SCENE IN REEAAALL LIIIFFFEEEEE?££\#+@}+++}={==£[&$]^)-][.

(Just distract yourself Pebie, ignore how AE made an evil alter of silver spoon aswell.. calm DOWN)

STOOOOOPPPP!! WE GET IT!! THEYRE SOULMATES!! H.. HOW DO THESE TWO HAVE SO MUCH SIMILAR MOMENTS LIKE THIS OMFG/vvvvvvpos

My babies are sticking together OMFG I’m actually exvaporting STICK TOGETHER BABIES!! YOULL GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE!!! HH.HOPEFYKLU

IMANNAHAHWGSBHDJDJAKAKKSNDJD

IM SHAKKIIJHHHHH OKDMDHAHBBAHHHWHGGDGGDAAAAAA

WEEEE SHE SAID WE

SHE SAID WE OMFGGFGAFFSFVS

THE WAY SHE SAVED HIM IN CLUCTH IM FGGISNNG

IM GONNA.CRUY. IM SUBHIAJJJJSJ

LISTEN UP WALKIE TALKIE. YOU DONT DRAE THREATEN CABBY’S FUTURE HUSBAND AND GET AWAY WITH IT GRRRRRRYEHAHWJSJ

But let’s be fr, As much as I love Mephone and his silly shenanigans, this literally affected me the same way it did for them, just.. look at their faces man :(

NOOO NOOO!! STOP STOP STOOOP I DIDNT AGREE TO THIS!1 DONT HURT THEM!! PLLEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEEE 😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️ IM LITERALLY SHIVERING FOR THEM OMFG MY BABIES

I SWEAR IF YOU LAY A FINGER ON ANY OF THEM ILL FUCKING—

Deep betreath… breeaathehees… I’m not ANGRY. nooo wayhhhy.  ,.,,uhm..—

HEY AE.. DO THEY MAKE IT SO THEY ALL LIKE MEPHONE IN THE END?? CAUSE LIKE.. It would be so awesome, it would be so cool—

Yeah WHOOOOH!! I took yesterday night, from 8/9pm to 11pm, STYAED UP ALL NIGHT CAUSE I COULDNT SLEEP FROM THESE TWO, stayed up until like.. 10am, fell asleep, woke up at 2:40pm and BAM! FINSIHED AFTER A DAY!! YIPPIEROONIES!!! (Edit: Two days, since I had to leave, came back at 9:50pm, finished at 11pm cause bedtime lockdown, then woke up at 10am today and started to do it again, so I technically finished at 2pm today)

I have a feeling that someone reading this started liking the ship, or felt curious about their rare pair interaction (if they had any/lh), but either way, I’ll tell you how THIS rare pair even EXSISTED.

(THE LORE OF WHY I EVEN SHIPPED CABLOON)

Let’s start from the beginning. In some of the episodes, before I knew I kin cabby, I always had a little fascination towards balloon, his issues living with him for so long and how he still struggles to make a good image of himself was just. Cute to me (stop I KNOW you simp for objects too.. DONT DENY IT!!)

And at episode 17, after I found out I kin cabby, I started to like their interactions more, and since this ship was a HEAVY SELF INSERT, It somehow made sense.

They both struggled to gain a good image, they both had a toxic friendship in the past that got resolved, they both have TOO MUCH ISSUES, and they both act like each other so much it’s actually wild

None of us EVER cared to really analyze hidden relationships in the show, and this is actually a good example, if I never simped for balloon like the ‘loon’atic I am

*knee slap*

I would’ve NEVER noticed their cute feelings for each other

As much as I wanna continue talking, I feel like this ramble will never end, so I give you a cabloon doodle!

And I bid you farewell *bows dramatically*

[httpiastri]

https://www.tumblr.com/httpiastri/750131786833608704/this-took-way-longer-than-expected-but-im

hi again!! pepe’s stream has actually been deleted bc twitch deletes streams after 7 days unless they’re some special twitch streamer (??) i think? but even then, i think those streams also only stay up for about a month or so unless the streamers themselves save it or something but i’m not too sure tbh 😓😓

i’m just grateful that we have the timestamps listed out and stuff so we don’t forget the very special moments in his stream but it is very unfortunate that we can’t just go back and rewatch the whole thing again (actually really heartbroken and upset about this☹️☹️) i have some screenshots of the moments i mentioned and then like some screen recordings of a few moments like his little dance and him cursing and then one of him making some weird sound in reaction to a moment in quali or during the F1A watch along (i forgot which 😭😭) so i’ll probably just be rewatching those over and over again and holding them close to me while i wait for the day where he decided to bless me and stream again (and i PRAY that that day comes soon because ive just started a new school and i miss the little racing filled bubble ive been living in for so long)

anyway i hope you’ve had a lovely weekend so far jackie!! if you ever stumble across one of my posts on tumblr (unlikely, but always possible, because i do sign off with the same emoji) say hi!! if your weekend hasn’t been that good so far then i do hope it gets better and that the week ahead is far more amazing and beautiful than the ones before!!

- 🪷

i had no idea twitch does that?? that's so rude 😠 that's actually such a bad feature shsjdshdj im heartbroken :(

but yes i feel you, let's be thankful that it happened instead of crying because it's gone 💔I MISSED OUT ON SCREEN RECORDING THE DANCE ??? but i have like 20 clips of cute pepe laughter so 🥰🥰 but yes i hope he understands how much we adored that stream and how much we crave another one… 🥲

(a new school? so exciting!! hope you have a lot of fun and make a lot of new friends 😚 but god yes, like my life is 50% racing (in my head) these days but i cant wait for the summer to arrive just because i miss the crazy racing bubble i was in for like three months…. pepe would definitely help out with fixing that rn 🫶)

also just gonna include your next ask here bcs it's the same theme:

you're making me so curious? omg?? now im gonna be searching through all of tumblr just to find a post with your emoji 🥺 i def will say hi if i find you !!!

also omfg. i just realized something…. i have this board on pinterest with pics of random couples & so on that remind me of my fave drivers, and each driver has their own like board in the board. all of them are named with the driver's initials, his number and two emojis, and !! guess what emoji i have for pepe???? ofc it's the freaking lotus flower 😭 idk i just wanted to share this, thanks 😚

hope you have a lovely day/night/morning/anything whenever you see this !!! and hope you have a lovely week <33

[msmargaretmurry]

music anon here!! hi!! how’s it going? heard you were kinda stressed so!! hope everything’s better!!

idk why but i’ve been on a weird mcstrome mood this past few days, and so i had to make a mcstrome blues playlist, because well. they were besties and now they’re not anymore.

i thought i’d share some songs with you as a token of gratefulness for your general existence <3 the vibes are kinda sad tho ngl. it’s a vision of their relationship that is just… bleak. so without further ado, mcstrome blues!

now that we don’t talk by taylor swift. “did you get anxious though?/ on the way home / i guess i’ll never ever know / now that we don’t talk” i’m just. there’s a post floating somewhere on swiftie tumblr along the lines of “this song is for the girlies with a dramatic best friend breakup” and. yeah that’s mcstrome to me

still got it + can’t go back baby (one right after the other) by troye sivan. his new album is full of bops btw but these ones…… man. cant go back baby is actually about being cheated on, so not really applicable here but. the hurt? phew 😮‍💨 (from the same album how to stay with you gives me matthew and leon getting together after matthew fucked off to florida vibes!!! “i feel my mother might like you / just not in the same way i do” that’s tthe tkatchuks baby!!! but i digress.)

ivy by frank ocean. “we had time to kill back then / you ain’t a kid no more / we’ll never be those kids again” hello??? also along these lines. ribs by lorde. a classic of the “i want to go back to the past but it’s impossible and it makes me go insane” vibe

the exit by conan gray. oh my god this one . “you love her / it’s over / you already found someone to miss / while i’m still standing at /the exit / i can’t hate you for getting everything we wanted / i just thought that i’d be part of it” this one is tied to irl stuff which. eh i know. but oh my god…

hope this wasn’t too long and that you enjoy (if you didn’t know these songs before!!) 🤍🤍🤍🤍

hello music anon!! lovely to hear from you as always 💖 i am indeed very stressed right now but it's okay, i will make it through. just one more month of the semester! two more months until my biggest work event of the fiscal year! i have the veterans' day holiday off from work today tho so before i dig into the massive pile of homework and household chores i have been ignoring, i took myself out for coffee to sit at a cafe and catch up on tumblr asks 😂

i have ALSO been in a weird mcstrome mood lately, i think because connor mcdavid is so miserable right now, so thank you for sharing this little playlist, it really hits the mcstrome sadness spot. like even beyond the hrpf of it all, it makes me sad because to me friendship is one of the most important things in the world and it makes me sad thinking about them not being best friends anymore! obviously, drifting apart from your besties when you were a teen is a pretty normal part of life for a lot of people, but i am still sad about it. they were so sweet about each other, and now we don't even know if they actually still talk ever 😭

i knew some of these songs but not all of them! as usual they are all going directly on my playlist for disassociating to on the metro to and from work. i love a pairing or character or story concept playlist so much (if you couldn't tell by how i tend to post playlists with my long fics, haha). thank you for sharing!! 💕

[moonlit-imagines]

an update <3

so, it’s been a while since i’ve really tried to keep up with this blog. you may have noticed most lists are outdated, i haven’t really posted anything and when i do, it’s few and far between. i thought it was because i just lost my motivation to write.

but i started focusing on that novel from a year or two ago!! the inspiration doesn’t stop flowing for it and i’ve been riding this high for a while, it’s made me so happy to write without any pauses or writer’s block, because i really do love writing.

i know that i keep trying to say “hey, i might write something soon,” “sorry, i’m working on this request i’m just busy,” “please forgive me i want to do this event soon i just don’t have the time or motivation,” but it’s time i’m honest with myself that i don’t think i’m that invested in imagines and reader insert anymore and trying to force myself to write things that no longer draw any inspiration just makes me resent writing entirely. i cant even keep up with my fandoms anymore.

this blog has been the best thing i’ve ever created, but i’d like to do more. work on things that keep me going and make me happy. and for a long time this was that for me, but i guess i just outgrew it.

for four years this blog has been active (well, maybe not the most active recently), and in that time i’ve wrote some stuff i’m really proud of, had these ideas that i fell in love with and some of you might have too. i absolutely loved the idea of writing things that helped you guys through your lives, as well. things that made you feel seen and included, whatever made you laugh or cry, sparked your own inspiration. hell, i had a ton of people tell me that my writing helped them learn english, which absolutely floored me. it was the most meaningful thing i felt i could have done. i hope i can do that again someday, either returning to this blog or going a different route.

that being said, this blog will NOT be deactivated. not only do i know a lot of you revisit my old work, but i’d love to look back on it too. this blog has a lot of memories attached to it. it has my hard work on it. it has sweet messages and support from both sides on it. and not only that, i made a lot of wonderful friends on here. and i feel i’ll continue to do so!!

i encourage you guys to keep messaging me, sharing your ideas, asking for advice, telling me your stories!! i’d like to be here for you guys. as a friend or writer. i’ve always been ecstatic when someone asks for writing advice or blog advice, it’s something i always know i can help with.

the burnout almost got the best of me, but this novel i’ve decided to write has been the best idea i’ve had in a while. it got me to love what i love once again. i hope you all understand and we can continue to support each other throughout our journeys. i wouldn’t be who i am today without you all.

much love xx

-lacey

[bishy437]

ok fine i’ll write a dissertation on why sangcheng is a great ship and deserves to win just as much as chengyao.

sadly i’m not eloquent nor am i a wordsmith like all these other chengyao-ologists but here goes something

*ahem*

these two idiots are completely different people and yet Still manage to have so much in common it makes me want to chew my own face

CR era they are just two teenage sect heirs. one striving for greatness. the other completely disinterested in the cultivation world.

neither of them will ever live up to their parents'/guardian's expectations. ever.

they have no shared hobbies/interests and zero reason to even acknowledge one another other than political ones but thanks to wwx they are now in the same friend group

they get into shenanigans they get drunk and read porn together they do stupid teenager shit. ((nhs potentially being jc’s gateway into porn is hilarious btw))

anyways they had a grand ol’ time until wwx punched some guy and got kicked out so we don’t know what happened with them after that

lots of directions you can go with it but it Will end with them estranged

fast forward to wwx + nmj kicking the bucket.

They have now both experienced utter betrayal by someone they loved dearly and trusted. they lost their entire families. they've been pushed into roles of leadership way too early and they dont know what the hell they're doing but they have to do it.

are they on friendly terms post res? does jc wonder what happened to the friend he made in gusu to make him this way? how did the kid who managed to sneak contraband into the jianghu equivalent of Juvie become so useless/clueless????

whatever. Jc has bigger things to worry about. Like dragging wwx back to LP.

and he fails. miserably.

but guess what. JC still got his ‘brother’ back. he got to talk to him again. it wasnt like old times, but wwx is There. they’re not bros anymore and may never be again but at least wwx’s *alive*

he got his closure, he got his sorry.

but Dage’s still fucking dead. even after GY temple hes dead and mindless and never coming back.

Can you not see the Potential in that? can you look me in the eyes and tell me that nhs wouldn’t secretly harbor resentment towards jc?

like 'you got what i wanted. you got what i needed. i did all these horrible things and maybe it wasn't even worth it'

these men spent their entire adult lives working towards revenge/their brother (almost brother ykwim) and have nothing to show for it other than terrible reputations that precede them.

and what the hell do they do post GY temple without their anger to fuel them?

theyre not divorced, theyre the only two people standing in an empty room together fighting the urge to scream bloody murder as the walls close in on them.

they're tired they're confused they're devastated

jc: im tired of being angry and nhs: i dont want to be alone anymore CAN YOU NOT SEE???? THE POTENTIAL

these men understand each other like no one else and at the same time they Don't. they will never get each other's methods or mindsets.

who even are you anymore? who even am I? can you fix me? can you make the pain go away? get away from me. share a drink with me.

also. GY temple ends without Jc finding out the truth about what nhs did. Huaisang could easily take that secret to his grave if he so wanted. but if jc finds out via wwx then guess what. DIVORCE.

Now theyre divorced.

maybe jc will try to kill nhs for what he did and maybe nhs will let him.

so no, sangcheng is not a 'pair the spares' nor is it a simple 'uwu pure tender childhood fwends romance' it is So much more it is FUCKED

they're Doomed they're Saved they're headless chickens they hate each other they love each other do you Get it

there's so much more i could try to speak on but im not an adept writer and i cant articulate things well! but I will go down with this ship figuratively and literally.

and yeah maybe sangcheng nation doesnt portray enough angsty content in our fanworks for nonbelievers to respect us but who cares that doesnt mean im not constantly thinking about jc taking psychological damage battling his own mind on whether he wants to kill huaisang or fuck his brains out 24/7

enyways thanks for coming to my ted talk vote sangcheng bc they are just as spicy and deserving to win as chengyao! ^v^

Tournament of Jiang Cheng's Lovers

Semifinal, Bracket 2

Link to bracket

[matsukawamatt]

28 Sep ‘23

Back home with my little baby :)

I’m happy to see my family and everyone. I’m definitely feeling a bit happier and stuff, but I can’t stop thinking about her still. There must be something wrong with me. The past few nights, even NYC (where I stopped the other night) I’ve had extremely vivid dreams of her and, well, important people in my past life. My dreams last night had her dad in them who I considered, sort of, a friend and in the dream he was angry with me. Aggressive almost. He was basically telling me that I should never come near any of them again and almost that… wow, the more I think of this dream the more it fades? I can’t even accurately say what happened anymore. All I know is that he went from liking me to absolutely despising me. I know it was just a dream, but it still makes me wonder.. I always heard growing up how people hated their in laws but I actually LOVED her parents. Almost as much as I loved being with her hahahaha. Not seriously… but I loved her very much. Anyway, as I said last time in my previous post I’ll remember her in that moment. I cant stop thinking back to the last time I saw her. Being home makes all of this so much harder now.

I need to move on. I’m being annoying and possibly weird. I keep hoping she’ll message me, but I know this won’t happen so as soon as the thought surfaces I try to kill it. I could go on. Every thought I have still I want to share with her. Why is this so hard?? I guess being back home and not stuck on 300 meters of cold iron makes reality just that — reality.

———

Talking about this is making me sad

———

I’m seeing Josiah and the Bonnevilles tomorrow (just Josiah) lmao and also Drew Halcomb and the neighbors. This music has really brought peace to me recently and I found out they were playing up here at home, so I’m gonna go there & hope that I’ll make some friends or something. I think it’ll be a good time. If your reading this I probably dont know who you are or I’m dead or something, maybe years from now, so I’m happy you get to look at my trivial little life years from now. All these problems that are non-issues hahahah. To be fair, they’re real for me so, that’s something?

✌️

[lets-talk-spirituality]

https://www.tumblr.com/lets-talk-spirituality/712178485232304128/hello-bud-i-wanted-to-drop-in-and-say-hi-i?source=share

Of course! Happy to have found you as well and I greatly appreciate our conversations too. It’s so cool to know there are people out there who enjoys the same stuff and music. I felt a bit alone for a long time, and it’s wonderful finding others out there!

Holy crap that Jorja song hits. My mood was Matilda, went home last week and my family set off me but I’m doing better now.

But it's the spring equinox! 💐🌼🌻🌷🌺🌸🌹🪷🐝🌼☀️🌞

I hope the start of spring brings you and everyone on here love and light, wonderful new beginnings, renewal, and growth! 

https://www.tumblr.com/lets-talk-spirituality/712247114164551681/mod-i-cant-slip-back-ive-made-too-much-progress?source=share 

I don’t know if this will help but when I get into that space I look at this graphic https://pin.it/7vTy8Ee I found on Pinterest to make me feel better.

I’ll throw this one in here to: https://pin.it/6nQkfoo 

And this is a good pep song: https://youtu.be/1Fv_L3G8PYQ 

I hope you and everyone on here has a wonderful week!! 

🎶

Awww. I feel you. I felt alone too. This blog has brought me some wonderful people. Some I’m friends with offline (well off anon I guess) and some I’d like to be better friends with offline.

Also that song is such a fucking ear worm. It’s looping around my mind all the time. Glad you liked. And Matilda? Bestie. I get family stuff. I’m glad you’re feeling better.

Yes to spring equinox! I need to get my post up. I’m hoping to work on that today.

Also I swear the frog with the mushroom cap I’ve seen on instagram. These are great sentiments. Sometimes I tell myself, look all we can do is try. All we can do is what we can do and it helps me a lot.

That fucking song! Yesssss. Thanks for sharing it. Adding it to my bad bitch playlist.

Hope you’re having a week as lovely as you. Mwah 💋

This is a picture from a night of magic I had recently. I’m sharing it with you and all my anons so we start off Aries season with the right intentions. More stepping into our power, more action, more confidence.

[5uptic]

crewfu: fanfic spotlight!

We work together by Anonymous (5up & DK, unrated, gen | 248 words)

Summary: One likes plants and baking, the other loves to create and design video games. They stay up and create monstrosities together, it's their fun, it's their favourite game. Aka a 5up and Dk roommate au!

No matter how life tangles, I’m still here with you. by hungryandsleepy (5up/Steve, general rating, m/m | 279 words)

Summary: 5up has been working so hard on his new map, and of course, he needs someone to give him a motivation to go to sleep.

objectively pretty by vesque (5up/Steve, general rating, m/m | 462 words)

Summary: steve is drunk. he's pretty sure 5up is too. that doesn't mean being called pretty is any less momentuous.

you plus me by mangoedges (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 489 words)

Summary: 5up and Steve meet.

he said to me by mangoedges (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 656 words)

Summary: 5up and Steve share a moment.

by the snowmen by mangoedges (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 670 words)

Summary: Steve has a moment when it's all over.

today you got to know me (a little bit too slowly) by runninohhoney (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 675 words)

Summary: Steve lights up a cigarette. 5up doesn't smoke.

what would it take by mangoedges (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 787 words)

Summary: It's Steve's first mission. He hecks up. Or does he?

sorta cute by floweruru (5up/Steve, unrated, m/m | 822 words)

Summary: ‘I wouldn’t do that,’ he said. ��That’s just disrespectful,’ he said. Yet there was 5up, crushed like a can in Steve’s embrace, feebly kicking at nothing as his feet leave the pavement.

i was gonna kill u, but ur kinda cute?? by Cthulhuer (5up/Steve, general rating, m/m | 1k words)

Summary: Steve is a mess and 5up is worse.

I hear a Symphony by AwkwardAce (5up/Fundy, unrated, m/m | 1.1k words)

Summary: He exhaled until his lungs ached for air, fingers twitching as he opted to remove the sleek white gloves he wore in a feeble effort to soothe himself. It didn’t work. He wrung his trembling hands together as his eyes raked down the worn leather case taking in the doodles- some etched some drawn- across the faded surface. He snapped the buckles open and his breath hitched, catching in his already tight throat. For a moment the world span, his head throbbed and he wanted nothing more than to run and hide. 5up breathed out slowly, shakily.

staring by lytriis (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 1.1k words)

Summary: steve asks 5up out. 5up doesn’t know how to respond.

and it's four am, and yet, you're here by vesque (5up/Steve, general rating, m/m | 1.2k words)

Summary: in which steve shows up at 5up's house, in the middle of the night, completely spontaneously

more than this by mangoedges (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 1.2k words)

Summary: Steve catches 5up venting.

3:15 by vesque (5up/Steve, general rating, m/m | 1.2k words)

Summary: Steve tries to guess Five's name. It's much more difficult than he anticipated.

things were different by fourpebbles (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 1.5k words)

Summary: His eyes circled around to his friends, Kimi and Janet engaging in pleasant comversation, sleepy and becoming increasingly more sober. He looked, finally, across him, and caught Dumbdog staring at him. What now bro, what did this guy want. small talk, turns into not small talk, then there's no talk

Once Upon A Dream by SmearedWords (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 1.5k words)

Summary: 5up looks ethereal, while Steve is struggling to breathe. "You're not real either." Or: Steve has a crush and a nightmare in three parts, 5up is tired, the crew life is hard and Polus sucks.

the ones you love will call you back by homeward_bound (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 1.8k words)

Summary: stevesuptic: dude, is it weird that i miss vegas   DumbDog: No? I do too.   stevesuptic: okay [steve misses vegas and apollo. they talk about it]

cough it out by cj__writes (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2k words)

Summary: Apollo thinks that Steve must be well and truly gone, at this point, because he giggles, like Apollo’s just told a particularly funny joke. He looks Apollo right in the eye and asks, “Do you trust me?” “Absolutely not.”

ivy by Secular_Czar (5up/Steve, teen rating, gen | 2.1k words)

Summary: It might be a sad day, in general, but Steve isn't about to let it get to him. His friends won't ever let him wallow either.

The Colosseum by WhenTheFogClears (general rating, gen | 2.1k words)

Summary: Five squinted, looking at the colosseum intensely. He thinks Apollo was latched onto the sphinx’s shoulder, fur matted with blood. Janet was slumped against a column, probably out, with Kimi whose bow was snapped in two, her leg twisted at an odd angle. DK was in the corner trying to cast various supporting hexes and charms with a broken arm, whilst Hafu was dragging a heavily bandaged Steve away. or 5up slaughters a cat

Oneshots :) by woofles1990 (5up/Fundy, 5up/Steve, teen rating, multi | 2.5k words, oneshot collection)

Summary: Just a bunch of MCYT/Among Us oneshots, mainly featuring 5up's crew because yes :)

the adventures of 5up and steve staying up late because they're under 30 by 5280ft (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2.5k words)

Summary: “The night is young!” Steve yells at the ceiling, throwing his hands up in the air. “Take advantage of it! Commit crimes! Fuck hoes!” Five catches his hands in the air and laughs. “You wish you had hoes.”

unreasonably in love by cj__writes (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2.6k words, chaptered WIP)

Summary: "It was like pieces of a puzzle, everything coming together. And now, here they are, standing in their apartment, which looks more like a hollow shell than a home, filled solely with scattered boxes and the minuscule amount of furniture that they brought with them to Vegas." Or: what happens after Apollo and Steve move in together.

cant be love by fourpebbles (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 3.5 words, chaptered WIP)

Summary: He had chuckled to himself, he felt so stupid. Who in their fucking minds names a playlist 'sugr?', he thought, internally cringing. A story where a Steve meets an Apollo, and some things happen.

Somewhere in the darkness, us together for a while by tumtummeke (Apollo & Kimi & Steve, teen rating, gen | 3.6k words)

Summary: Apollo worries about Steve. Steve breaks his vape pen. Kimi plays power washer. Self-indulgent angst, with a generous helping of friendship and cuddles.

odyssey by 5280ft (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 23k words, chaptered WIP)

Summary: "First you will come to the Sirens who enchant all who come near them. If any one unwarily draws in too close and hears the singing of the Sirens...they warble him to death with the sweetness of their song. Therefore pass these Sirens by and stop your men's ears with wax that none of them may hear." -Homer, The Odyssey

Also: SilverSprinklez10‘s yupwaves collection.

Summary: This is a Harry Potter AU based on the characters/personas of the youtubers/streamers.

FAQ:

Wait what is this: pretty straight to the point! i’ll regularly share crewfu-related fanfictions to this blog :)

How regularly is “regularly”?: great question! LOL. it depends on the flow of fanfics that get uploaded, which i do not have any control over, but i’m looking forward to do this twice a month. after all, it’s only me doing this and i often run on a tight schedule.

What’s the format like?:

[title of fic with link] by [author of the fic with link] ([main pairing(s), if there is one/multiple], [fic rating: eg, general rating], [relationship: eg, m/m] | [word count in k] ([added prompt to specify if it’s complete or not)])

Summary: [summary provided by the author. if it doesn’t have a summary, a “No summary” prompt will be put instead]

(What does WIP mean again?): Work In Progress :)

Why are you doing this?: from the beginning, my blog has hosted conversations about RPF (real people fiction) and crewfu pairings. this has evolved into people sending me updates about certain fics in the crewfu tags every now and then, but i wanna take the next step and just do these things myself. after all, i’m already lurking in the tags often to see the fics that get posted. as someone who is both a writer and a reader, i wanna appreciate fanfic writers and help out other people that want to read fanfic and consume more fandom content!

Will it be AO3 only?: well, ao3 has a very helpful tag system that makes finding fics incredibly easy, as well as allowing people with no accounts to like and comment on fics, so that’s the site i will personally look in for fanworks. but if there are any fics you’ve written or liked in any other platforms, such as wattpad, you can always contact me through my inbox (send an ask or a dm!), and i’ll make sure to include for the next fanfic spotlight :)

Does it mean you won’t reply to fic asks anymore?: yeah, i guess. since i’ll be doing the searching myself it seems counterproductive. but if i ever skip a fic or again, it’s in another platform, or you’ve posted/read the fic a while ago and you want to get more traction on it, hit me up and i’ll take it into consideration!

Will you read every single one of the fics on your list?: oh no. again, i run on a tight schedule, and also i have my own taste when it comes to fics. i won’t be reviewing fics or any of the sort, and my intention extends to simply sharing these fics to this page so people will have easier access to them :) that’s where ao3 tagging becomes SUPER useful!!!

So what’s the criteria for the way you’ll sort out the fics in your list?: word count, going from lowest to highest. in case of fics in other platforms, i guess i’ll put them at the top of the list. i’ll also be looking for fairly recent fics, so let me know if you want any old-ish fic to be included.

I see you talking mostly about 5up/Steve and Steve/Apollo. Can I still send/see other crewfu fics?: why yes absolutely! my goal is to push every fic which heavily features regular crewfu characters - 5uptic and supdog just happen to be very popular pairings. so, to give you a list: core 4 (5up, hafu, dk, steve), apollo, aipha, annie, janet, kimi, ellum, koji... you know the drill. it doesn’t have to be centered on a relationship, or about 5up in specific, etc. my only requirement is that any of the previously mentioned members are a central part of the fic or are HEAVILY featured in it (sorry, minecraft fics with 50+ tags who only mention 5up as an afterthought won’t make the cut :/).

Isn’t shipping Bad™?: well, it’s a little more nuanced than that. i will go out of my way to discourage and shame people who often violate CCs’ boundaries by acting like so and so has a crush on this person, or that this and that are Actually Into Each Other or secretly dating. any sort of tinhat bullshit is a big nono (think larries). but i run on the assumption that people who write rpf understand that what they’re doing is simply write a completely fictional story using real life personalities, and understand the boundaries necessary to do it - aka they’re not tinhats, they understand they can’t assume everything about CCs’ thoughts and personalities, they understand that what they’re writing is strictly fiction, they keep these works only in fandom circles, etc. (but again, it’s only one me doing this, so please be kind if i don’t happen to know that this person is Actually a tinhat or whatever).

show fic: NO. (seriously. i don’t feel comfortable putting my ao3 account out there. please respect my privacy on these trying times <3)

I REALLY don’t care about your rpf/fic talk: fair! i’ll be tagging every single one of these posts as “fanfic spotlight”, so just mute the tag using tumblr settings so you’ll never have to look at these! likewise, you can follow the tag if you want to keep up with it, or search it on my blog to look at the other entries you might have missed (but this is the first one! lol).

Hey, my fic is here and I don’t feel comfortable with it being shared over here: no problem! let me know as soon as you can and i’ll take it down <3

[natsu-chan-17]

Um hi there. I've never been one to be on social media and post, but I thought I'd finally try to share some fluff canons I had. I honestly wont post often and quality probably wont be the best but this is for my own sake😅

So heres a Sero headcanon to get this train rolling😊

Warnings:none just some awkward cuties in love

This will be Y/n x Sero (gender neutral)

------------------------------------------------------

The high pitched sound of silence was all you could hear as you stared at the ceiling in the dead of night. You had randomly woken up from your deep slumber and couldnt go back to sleep no matter how hard you tried.

Your eyes were still stinging from sleep so you decided against going on your phone and begrudgingly woke up to grab a cup of water.

You quietly sped through the dark halls out of fear of a possible viking hiding within the pitch black hall chasing you while wielding his axe. Finally making it to the kitchen, you noticed the lights were already on.

Sero had had the same thought as you and was checking out the fridge for a drink.

"Hey, whatcha doing up so late?"you questioned him.

"I could ask the same of you," he said with the same cute crooked smile as always before gulping down a bottle of water.

"I cant sleep," you said miserably, "and you?"

"Same, my head feels hella buzzy from the coffee I drank at dinner," he said with a boyish grin. "Definitely a bad idea on my part."

"Hmm I see," you said quietly more to yourself before hesitantly asking, "hey um since we're both up, you wanna maybe head to the roof? I was thinking of stargazing a bit after grabbing a snack."

"Yeah, that sounds pretty cool, you need anything from the kitchen?"

"Nah, guess I'm not really hungry anymore," you said as your stomach started attacking you with butterflies out of nervousness. "Let's grab a couple pillows before we go though," you suggested.

"Sure thing," he said before taking all the ones you had grabbed from the couch in the common room to carry them for you. "Oh you didnt need to-"

"Nah dont worry about it, a gentleman must always be of assistance right," he said while grinning back at you as he made his way to the elevator.

"Oh well...thanks then," you responded softly, touched at his kind gesture.

Sero had been the goofy, boy-next-door type of friend that you had had a crush on since you joined class 1A. The idea of stargazing together was already making your heart squeeze, but his chivalry was just about leaving your heart at death's door.

The ride up felt awkward since you were too nervous to think of anything to say. Stumbling over your words was all you could do to prevent the stale silence in the space from continuing.

The two of you exited the elevator at long last looking for a nice spot to sit since you had reached the rooftop. Sero had started a conversation that you could finally talk about normally, making you feel better. You laid out pillows and a blanket and sat down gazing up at the view of the clear night sky.

"Did Denki ask you the same weird question about belt straps," Sero said with a small smile protruding from the corner of his lips, before lying down on the blanket next to you.

"Yeah what was up with that? His mind is definitely cursed," you answered laughing.

The night continued with small conversations that led to deeper discussions about the stars and how they aligned.

Sero was surprisingly knowledgable on the placements of the stars and the two of you went back and forth talking about the meaning of the constellations.

At some point you sat up from the pillow you were lying on, a bit too excited about one constellation that Sero had pointed out.

He looked up at you as you stared back down at him rambling on, until you realized how close you had gotten to him from accidentally shifting around pointing out a stunning Ursa Major, and your speech slowed to a stop. He was staring intensely at you, adoring how excited you had gotten, and you decided to be brave and look back.

His eyes were beautiful specially under the stars; a deep black pupil shimmering with the light of the moon.

Unconsciously, you moved your head closer to get a better view of his radiant eyes. Sero had done the same and was now leaning on his elbows to bring his face closer to yours.

Your eyes gazed down to his lips before finally connecting your own. Your heart was beating full force from the soft plush feeling of his lips against yours.

The kiss was short but sweet like a simple peck and when you pulled away, you swore your face was on fire from embarrassment. Sero had a small grin as he looked back at you, just a tint of red dusted on his cheeks.

"I-" you started before the world started shaking because your hand had slipped from the floor. You hit your cheek against the cold pavement, just missing the pillow that would have been your salvation.

Sero bit back a laugh as he checked if you were okay.

"Is this my sign that you're uh falling for me," he said before giggling.

You were basically dead from all the embarrassment and just hid your face in the pillow lying next to you.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding,"Sero said still laughing, "but...um I think it may be the other way around I guess."

"Huh? Wh-what does that mean?" you asked finally emerging from the pillow.

"It means I like you okay, I have for a while," Sero said bashfully with a red blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"Wait wait wait what??" you said stunned, "are you serious? Cuz I've always liked you too. You're not joking right"

"No dummy, I wouldn't joke about that, I'm uh....really glad you like me too," Sero admitted as his eyes drifted to the floor, too embarrassed to look you in the eyes.

"Yip!" you squeaked out by accident. "Um sooo would you wanna hang out on the roof another time?" you said slowly, hesitantly, afraid of possible rejection.

"Sure, anytime you need me just call," he said with his ever shining grin.

"I'll do that:)"

Thanks again for reading, hope it was somewhat okay for my first one. I'm a major Sero simp so I'm hoping to attract my fellow simps too😌

[dontsharethistoanyone]

hello, sorry. I'm didn't mean to worry you. sorry. but i'm here, dapat hindi ko sasabihin sayo to, pero syempre, life is so short. okay na rin siguro magbawas ng nararamdaman. you're the 4th person who will know this secret. if ever we met at some point, sana wag mong maalala to. why am i sharing this to you? because we don't know when will life ends. natakot na ko mas share sa mga taong matandaan, thats why i always share my problem to someone na makakalimutin, hindi ko sure kung ganon ka, pero hindi mo naman ako kilala.

to be honest, i dont know if i still need help. im just to tired ig.

this my not seem so real, ikaw na bahala mag judge.

nung bata ako i have so many personalities, sobrang adventurous ko. sobrang hindi ko kaya na hindi ko na eexpress yong sarili ko. i need wild things, im born to be explore and be curious about things. then there's this one time na may nagsabi sakin na ampon ako. alam mo na asarang bata hahaha thats so normal. pero yong issue na yon, dumating hanggang sa mag grade 6 ako. out of curiousity natanong ko kay tatay if totoo ba, ang guess what? totoo sya sis. i didnt know what so say, what to react. ang the weird things is, hindi lang ako, dalawa kami,

that creeps me out, kasi only child lang ako. it turns out na may kambal ako, tatllo kami. im the middle child. yong panganay pala talaga yong anak nila, yong aampunin nila, kaso namatay sa sakit. ako, potangina nabuhay. they both treated me as their first child. yong pangalan ng ate ko, ako na kumuha. alam mo lahat ng gamit ng ate ko, sakin na napunta. lahat ng yong, hindi sakin yon. lahat ng to, hindi sakin to. it wasnt suppose to be mine.

dun ko na realize kung bakit lagi akong napapansin na parang ako. huh? kasi nung grade 7 lagi kong napapansin na may second me na nagbabantay sakin. i was so fucking scared.

that girl, shes miserable. that girl is cursing me. that girl wants me to die. and that girl is my sister, lagi syang nagpaparamdam, lasi syang nandyan. she wants my life, but i dont know how to give it to her, i didnt want to live. until napanaginipan ko sya.

alam ko na inagaw ko lahat sa kanya, family, things, this life. sakanya to eh. hindi naman ako yong dapat ampunin in the first place. she didnt want me to die, she want me so suffer.

the old me died when i was in grade 6, and my sister, ive been living as here up until now. she wanted to have more friends. she wants to have good grades, she wants to have a good life. that's why i live as her. and every time i forgot to live the life she wants. she will kill me, i can see things, torturous things. people are dying sa pananngin ko even if they are not real. i was so scared. i dont know where to express all things fucking feelings. i just want to end it. but i didnt. i deserve to suffer.

hindi ko alam, hindi ko talaga alam kung kilala ko paba yong sarili ko. hindi ko alam, ang dami kong gustong gawin, gustong maging kaibigan pero i cant. im not me anymore. hindi na ako to. hindi na akin tong buhay na to. i really tried to escape sobra.

nung grade 9 i want to tell this thoughts sa advicer nyo, but im scared, i cant even walk on my own. laging tinatanong ni sir if okay lang ba ako, i always smile and continue to pretend. this life, this isnt mine. i wasnt suppose to be here.

i want to be me again. i want to express myself more. kaya nung grade 10, just for fuckiung 1 year, let me be myself. if youre goin to see how i lived nung panahon na yon, it was paradise. ive meet such amazing people. i became me, i became my self. jahahahahhaha saglit wala na kong makita hahahh

it was the fisrt time i became very thankful to live. it was the fisrt time i can finally said that im happy. become the school year ends. i awkwardly said goodbye to my friends. sinong tanga yong mag goodbye ng february eh march ang graduation. kasi alam ko, i only have one month left, kaya sinulit ko na. gusto ko sila yakapin lahat. gusto ko sila ikeep for me. but i dont desrve that, i dont deserve them. before i became that girl again, kwinento ko to sa isa sa trusted friends ko. pumasok ako non nan naiyak kasi mamimiss ko talaga sila, alam nila na hindi ako iyakin but i just couldnt help mysefl but to cry. i mis the, somuch

wait napuwing ako hhahahaha comerciasl

after that, after that one year, everything went back to normal. after one year of ignoring that girl. bumalik na sya, and she made me suffer a lot. i started to ahve a lot of panic attacks. she killed me.

i was lifeless, so eto, etong nagtytype ngayon, is the breathless me. im living the life that she wanted me to have. i lost my friends, all of them. kasi yon ang guisto nya.

this is why i hate my name, kasi hindi sakin yon.

i tried ti seek help, pero wala sa mga kaibigan ko ang kayang intindihin yon situation ko.

para akong artista, ako yong bumubuhay sa bida.

nung 2020, i got the courage na magpatingin sa specialist. i didnt said everything bout myself. i told everything na nararamdaman nung bida, nung girl. she was diagnosed with depression. so i have to deal it all by myself because, i dont have b friend anymore, that girl dont have friends.

ang hirap, ilang beses akong humingi ng tulong. ilang beses akong nagtry, but none of them believed me. pero bakit kapag si ate, kapag sya, ang dami agad tumutulong. \

this is so deep. this is so shit.

ngayon, i dont need help. i wont die, maniwala ka, hindi ko kayang patayin yong sarili ko kasi utang ko tong buhay na to. hindi to akin.

but again, if ever that day comes, sana walang umiyak.

hahahhahahaha sorry, alam ko hindi kapanipaniwala to, wag ka mag alala, sanay na ko. pero thank you, i wanted to be friend s with you kaso hindi na pwede, sa next life nalang siguro.

Right now, gusto ko magbreakdown. Kaso I don't havr the courage to be depress sa gantong state.

I want to say sorry sa mga kaibigan ko, I'm a fake friend. Sorry kasi hindi ko ma share to sa kanila. I want to, kaso takot ako ss rejection.

i didnt express too much sa message na to kasi may online class pa, baka mahalat yong mukha ko kapag nagbreakdown ako. sanay nako sa ganto. sorry if i never got to explain myself and express more, nalimutan ko nakasi yong pakiramdam na maging ako. that person is lifeless.

Hey bub, sana kalimutan mo nalang to. I hate to make people worry. I hated it, kaya please, just let this go. Uulitin ko yong sinabi ko sa post ko na,

If I die early than everyone expected please don't cry. Death is one of my goal right now. Please be happy that finally I'm not suffering from everything. I'm already satisfied with the days I've spent here, I'm okay if I'll be gone soon.

And yes, masaya ako. Pero thank you for bwing warm.

Please don't speak this up. Ayokong pinag uusapan, ty.

salamat sa pagbasa, this might be the last. please dont worry too much, hindi ako sanay. dont worry that is how life goes, ig for me.

[toriwakes]

Problem [Spender Reid x Reader]

summary: the daughter of a famous chef becomes a target, and it’s spencer’s job to protect her.

content warnings: female!reader, cursing

a/n: hello!!! first spencer reid post!! so excited to share, sorry if it’s bad </3. this is obviously inspired by s1 ep18. hope u all enjoy, lmk if you have any requests!

dad was a famous chef. he was known world wide, liked by some and hated by some. that’s how it worked. she had gotten used to the spotlight. it was his, anyway. no one payed much attention to her. or so she thought. when the incident happened she had noticed a pattern. someone was watching her and she didn’t know who. why her? her dad, a hot head, wasn’t going to let this fly easily. and that was a problem.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

“davy plattel, 57. heard of him?” jennifer asked, clearly joking. “he’s an australian chef and has been on 5 different tv shows. all of which he rates food and has a tendency for being cold do this employees.” reid spat out the facts like he’s been waiting to be asked this question since he was born. the team just stared at him before jennifer spoke. “i was kidding.” spencer pressed his lips together as his cheeks flushed pink. “remind me why we’re looking into this guy?” morgan said, flicking through the files. “people going to his restaurants are getting poisoned, press says he’s snapped and is making them pay for making him look like a bad guy for all these years.” derek’s brows furrowed together. “and this is a b.a.u case because?” asked aaron. “right when the poisoning started-“ jj dropped a new file into his lap. “-his daughter (y/n) became a target.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

“you lot are supposed to be the best in the game. figure out who’s hurting my business and find who’s hurting my daughter!” hot head was right. platell was taken into a separate room by gideon and morgan, which left aaron and reid to scout for you. davy told them you’d be in your room. “(y/n) platell? i’m special agent aaron hotchner with the fbi. we’re here to ask you a couple of questions if that’s okay with you?” your eyes lifted from the floor and to the stern man sitting on the edge of your bed. whilst nodding you noticed the taller man in your doorway. “special agent doctor spencer reid. we’re here to help.” hotch and reid walked you to the backyard, a perfect place to interrogate you. “tell me about your relationship with your dad.” spencer spoke first. you gulped. “i love him. he’s my best friend. he’s all i have, okay? he’s overprotective, but whose dad isn’t? he’s going crazy now that the person doing this wants me.” “what about the person who’s after you? any idea who it could be? think of someone who felt invisible to you, inferior.” as hard as you thought, nothing clicked. you shook your head and hotch let out a sigh. “i’m scared.” you admitted. “nothing like this has ever happened before?” spencer asked, almost surprised. “no, everyone focused on him, never on me.” spencer looked like he put pieces together. aaron thanked you for your time and led you back inside, spencer following. you knew the feeling in your stomach. butterflies.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

things got worse at the end of the day. you got a voicemail, an unsettling voice whose gender wasn’t identifiable called, talking about how they didn’t like how much time you were spending with the fbi. not only did this enrage your dad, it caused him to take matters into his own hands and search the bushes around your house. he didn’t find anything. “did the caller say anything else?” gideon asked. you quivered. “they..” you couldn’t catch your breath. “they said they were going to come get me at midnight.” everyone in the room shared a look of panic. “we need to get her out of here.” aaron instructed. “what? no, she is staying with me.” for what felt like the hundredth time today, the agents had to calm down your dad. “we have a safe house to take you to. an agent will stay with you for the night.” jennifer told you. your mind immediately went to reid. “anyone in particular you’d like?” she said, one hand on your shoulder. you leaned into her ear, whispering the name that made you cheeks flush. “spencer.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

the car ride was mostly silent. spencer was playing with his fingers, something you did as well. “are you nervous?” you said finally. he stopped at once, putting his hands into his pockets. “wha? oh, no, i’m fine.” you knew he wasn’t, but you didn’t press. “um- when did you leave australia?” he asked. you giggled. “when my dad started to get recognition, so when i was maybe eight. i didn’t leave much behind, the kids at school didn’t like me. i made my first friend here. gina.” he nodded. “was she nice to you?” “always. never anything but. i get a hot head sometimes- just like my dad. on occasion i would lash out on her, but she always forgave me. i always regretted it, she was really good to me.” spencer furrowed his eyebrows. “what did she act like when you would get mad?” you gave him a look, as if to say “why is this important?”. “well, she would look sad at first. like she didn’t understand why i was mad. she made herself smaller and blamed herself for making me mad. i thought it was weird that she never tried to defend herself.” reid shuffled into his pocket and took out his phone, dialing a number and speaking quickly. “hotch, why have we not considered looking at people close to her? it’s just like the case with that government official and the twin sisters- it was someone close to him. her friend- gina you said?” you nodded quickly. “fits the profile, and is close to her.” voices spoke on the other line before reid asked another question. “what’s her full name?” “gina carmen torres.” spencer retreated the name and you could hear hotch say he’d alert garcia. “it’s not her, i know it’s not.” reid looked at you like you were wrong. you shivered.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

when you got to the house spencer advised that you showered and got ready for bed, spreaking since it was so close to midnight. he stayed outside the shower door and handed you your close when you were done. “cold?” he asked, taking notice of you shaky frame. you nodded. he handed you the sweater he was going to wear to bed tonight, not minding at all. there go the butterflies. you sat one the bed and slid under the covers. “you should get some rest, i’m gonna stay up and make sure nothing happens.” he said. you didn’t fall asleep. “is something wrong? other than the fact that you’re being stalked?” you couldn’t help but laugh. “yes, actually. i don’t wanna admit this, but..i cant fall asleep unless i’m hugging something. and i..don’t have any stuffed animals with me.” spencer raised his eyebrows. “(y/n) if you’re asking me to sleep next to you i-“ “please spence? i’m not gonna be able to sleep anyway, it’ll help at least.” you pleaded, showing off your puppy dog eyes. “okay. fine.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

spencer stayed up all night. sure he was required to stay awake, but he was only staying up because he didn’t want to miss out on how beautiful you looked when you were asleep. you looked so calm, so peaceful. spencer had no idea what he was feeling, but he didn’t want it to stop. he liked you, and a lot. “fuck.” he whispered to himself. the small noise made you stir, but not enough to wake you up. suddenly, a ring came from spencer’s phone. he picked it up before it could wake you. “hello?” he whispered. “reid, we got em bud. found her in the girl’s bedroom of platell’s house. is she safe?” morgan’s voice spoke. spencer looked down at you, petting your head gently. “yea, she’s safe.” “alright man. i’m guessing she’s asleep?” “correct.” “okay. just stay with her, we’ll be there soon anyway.” morgan hung up. soon? damnit, he didn’t have much time left with you. he checked the clock, reading 5am. he wanted to talk to you, but he wasn’t going to wake you up for that. what were you doing to him?

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

spencer woke you up at 7:30. “they’ll be here at 10, and i don’t really know your schedule so.. i hope that enough time to get ready.” you rubbed your eyes and examined spencer. he was wearing his sweats and found a white shirt that was a bit too tight on him. he looked cute. “yes, that’s fine. i’ll..i’ll be right back.” you left the room to brush your teeth and get changed, finding reid inspecting some books you had lying around. “i have two copies of that. one at home and one here. just in case.” you said, sitting down right next to him and peering over. “it’s a classic. you like to read?” he inquired. “love it. although i cant stick to a book unless there’s some type of romance.” spencer raised his eyebrows. “call me a dork, whatever. what’s wrong with being into a little bit of love?” you chuckled. “no, in fact i figured you’d be that way.” you rolled your eyes playfully. “profilers. well, tell me what you think of me.” spencer paused before speaking. “i think you’re smart, you know how to pick your relationships-“ “what do you mean by that?” he stopped and pursed his lips, finding what words to say. “you know what you want in friends and boyfriends.” you raised your eyebrows. he couldn’t possibly know. “are you saying you know my type?” he shrugged. “yeah probably.” “try me.” “you like smart guys. guys who are confident, but not full of themselves. you like it when they’re sweet, but demanding. though i don’t know what you find physically attractive.” he said, going back to the book. you pulled it out of his hands. “i can tell you that one. i like guys named spencer reid.” almost instantly his face flushed red and he stopped speaking. you took the liberty of leaning in, your lips ghosting his. “(y/n)-“ “kiss me spence.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

his lips were as soft as they looked. the way he kissed was new to you, but you adapted and matched his energy. due to this, he whimpered as he kissed you. you pulled back to look at him, his face was bright red. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have-“ “spencer!” he cut himself off and looked at you with those full eyes of his. “don’t apologize. i liked it. a lot.” seeing that as his green light he cupped your chin and pulled you in for another quick kiss before getting up and getting ready himself.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

“(y/n)? (y/n)!” your dad showed up at the door a few hours later. “i was worried.” he whispered while you hugged. “i’m fine, dad. we’re fine.” when your dad let go of you and saw spencer lingering a bit too close, he connected the dots. “this boy didn’t try anything did he?” derek was listening now. you opened your mouth while turning to reid, whose eyes were wide with fear. “uh- no. he didn’t do anything but protect me, dad.” that didn’t let up his death stare on him. your dad wandered off to his car, everyone splitting up to leave home. “i’ll see you around.” spencer began to split up as well, but you caught his wrist. “check your pocket. see you.” with that you were gone. reaching into his back pocket, he felt something. a small piece of paper, you number etched on it with a small heart. you’re nothing like he’s used to. and thats a problem.

[spcncershybrid]

Veritaserum | Draco Malfoy Imagine

GIF IS NOT MINE

Request: Idk if you know the sound on tiktok from Euphoria “You are so fucking boring. Hey. I'm gonna be honest with you, because no one else will. Any guy who says he's interested in you beyond just fucking you, is full of shit” but cpuld you maybe write a Draco angst with fluffy ending based on that😅 thankss

(Summary: You always believed that your relationship with Draco was picture perfect until it came crashing down with only a few words.)

Draco Malfoy X Gryffindor!Reader

(A/N: Posting this to tumblr with formatting was ultimate hell! But I hope you like this imagine! On another note my taglist and requests are still open (read my pinned to know more!)

 “What did you want to talk about Draco?” I asked walking into the Slytherin common room. My burgundy robes stuck out like a sore thumb.

“Not here.” He grabbed my arm tightly and pulled me out of the room.

We walked along the corridor and stopped at an empty staircase.

“What is going on?” I asked as I placed my hand on his cold hand.

“We need to break up.” He said bluntly as he pulled his hand away.

“What?” I ask confused.

 “You are so fucking boring Y/N! I’m going to be honest with you because no one else in Hogwarts will. Any guy who says he's interested in you beyond just fucking you is full of shit.” He spat angrily.

 My eyes welled with tears as I stared at him.

 “I guess if that’s how you feel. I cant stop you. At least you were honest.” I say taking a step away from him. 

 “Goodbye Draco.” I wiped a falling tear and ran away.

 Draco blinked back his tears as he watched you run away. It was for the best.

“It’s been a week you need to get out of the common room and eat.” Hermione said as she sat beside me.

 “I want to know what I did wrong. It was perfect, it felt perfect. Is there something with me?” I say biting my thumb nail as I turned to her.

 “Don’t you dare say that! Y/N you are perfect. So what Malfoy broke your heart that isn’t your fault, it never was.” She said hugging me.

 “Hello ladies.” The twins say waltzing into the common room.

 Hermione and I waved at them as they sat in front of us.

 “Don’t tell me you're still sulking about Malfoy.” Fred said, crossing his arms.

 “At this very second I’m not.” I say laughing.  

 “I guess I’m just wondering what went wrong. One day we were laughing and being happy and the next he called me boring and uninteresting. It’s all just confusing.” I say running my hands through my hair.

 “I guess I just want the truth from him. He seemed off like he wasn't telling me anything.” I say playing with the ends of my robe.

 “You want the truth aye.” Fred said, smirking as he nudged George.

 “I don't like your smirks.” I say looking at them back and forth.

 “Why don’t you try veritaserum.” George said quietly as he leaned over.

 “No way. That is highly forbidden let alone dangerous.” Hermione said shutting them down.

 “Actually that isn’t that bad of an idea.” I say weighing my options. Yes it can get us into trouble but it can get me answers.

 “Perfect we’ll knick some supplies from Snape and meet you at the girl’s lavatory or Moaning Myrtle's space.” Fred said as him and George ran out of the common room.  

 “This can go entirely wrong Y/N! This is highly unethical.” Hermione said as she shut her book.

 “Relax Mione it won’t kill him.” I say looking at her.

 “It’s still dangerous Y/N. What if they don’t brew it properly!” She said turning to me.

 “I was sort of hoping you would help with it. If not I can help them brew it.” I shrugged.

 “I can’t take the blame if something goes wrong.” Hermione scoffed as she got up to walk away.

 I groan lightly and leave the common room to go find Fred and George.

I walk into the girls lavatory and greet Moaning Myrtle.

 “So you both didn’t die.” I say spotting the twins near the stalls.

 “Filch nearly caught us sneaking around but we got it.” George said as he passed some bottles to Fred.

 “Do you guys need help?” I ask as I tug up the sleeves of my robes.

 “Where’s Hermione? No offense Y/N but all three of us combined can blow up this bathroom.” Fred said laughing loudly.

 “She doesn’t want to help us. You know how she is on rules.” I laughed as I sat in front of them.

 “Make sure you two measure out everything. I want the truth from him not his intestines.” I say as I watched them grab various vials.

 They stared at me for a moment before pouring some of the vials into the cauldron.

 “Now our main focus is getting Draco to meet me somewhere.” I say biting my lip.

 “We can handle that.” George said as he carefully stirred 

 “I’m putting an awful lot of trust in you two. Name your price now.” I crossed my arms as I tapped my foot on the floor.

 “A galleon, each.” Fred said snapping his fingers as he tapped his chin.

 “That’s all.” I say in disbelief. This is the Weasley’s we’re talking about.

 “And to help us on our next prank on Snape.” He continued as he looked up at me.

 There it is.

 “Deal.” I say as I stuck my hand into my robes.

 “To be clear. Malfoy, Astronomy Tower, right after dinner.” I say as I watched them place the mixed potion into a vial.

 “Alright.” The twins said in unison.

 “See you two at dinner. Either slip it to him then or lead him out then give it to him.” I told them as I walked out of the bathroom.

Why did I ever trust Fred and George?

 “I didn’t think this would’ve happened Draco. I'm so sorry.” I apologized as I helped him over to the hospital wing.

 “It’s my fault I should’ve never taken anything from those Weasley’s.” Draco spat as he ran his hands through his now green hair.

 “Madam Pomfrey, can you help us?” I asked as I dragged Draco into the hospital wing.

 “What happened here?” She gasped as she guided Draco onto one of the beds.

 “Effects of a potion.” I say as Draco leaned back.

 “What potion dear.” She asked, looking over to me.

 “Veritaserum.” I whispered as I looked at Draco.

 “What?” She asked as she tilted his head to the side.

 “It was veritaserum gone wrong. I asked Fred and George to help me, but I walked out as they were putting it away.” I say putting my head down. Madam Pomfrey stared at me for a moment before walking away.

 “Why would you do that?” Draco asked placing his hand over mine.

 “I wanted answers Draco. You dumped me in a bloody staircase. With zero explanations, I wanted to know why. Was it me? Is it someone from Slytherin house, hell is it someone else?” I say as I sat down next to him.

 “It was my father. He found out about us dating, he didn’t want me to see you anymore.” Draco said looking up at me bashfully. 

 My mood shifted as I looked at him. I instantly brought him into a hug as I patted his hair.

 “Draco you could’ve just said so. What you said really hurt.” I said quietly.

 “I’m sorry.” I heard him whisper as Madam Pomfrey came back with a potion.

 “This will turn your hair back to normal.” She smiled as she handed him the potion.

 “We can talk more later. I have something I want to sort out.” I said giving him a peck on the cheek.

 Now to deal with the twins.

 I made my way to the Gryffindor common room and enlisted the help of my most helpful friends: Ginny Weasley and Hermione Granger.

 “Alright I called you both for something very special.” I whisper as we snuck into the kitchens.

 “Ginny I’m getting payback on your brothers.” I told her as I grabbed some flour and some eggs.

 “We’re making cookies.” I say as I grabbed the rest of the ingredients.

 “We’re giving them cavities?” Ginny questioned as she examined the ingredients.

 “No that’s why Miss Granger is in our midst. I need help with precise measurements on making these cookies change their looks. Similar to poly juice but in the form of a treat. One thing I noticed from your family is that treats are a must.” I explained as I began grabbing bowls.

“We’re in.” Ginny and Hermione said as they began dropping ingredients in the bowl. 

Although it took us a while to perfect it we miraculously got it done. 

“I’ll package these to look like something from my mum.” Hermione said as she began wrapping the cookies.

“I love you two so much.” I laughed as I watched them.

Hermione laughed as she handed me the bundle of cookies.

“You can share out the rest to Ron and Harry. Not Neville or Luna though they are too precious.” I say walking out of the kitchen.

“Hello Gingers or should I say grinches.” I snickered as I walked past the twins hand and hand with Draco.

“Shut up.” Fred instantly said as he shielded his head.

“That’s what you get for turning my boyfriend’s hair green.” I said sticking my tongue out at them.

“Yeah you even got Potter and the other Weasley.” Draco said as he pointed to the doors of the Great Hall.

“I didn’t do that.” I say in shock as I stared at them as they trudged to the Gryffindor table.

I giggle as I watch Ginny and Hermione high five each other slyly.

Well at least I got my boyfriend back and I got my best friends back.

taglist: @hpbitch​ @alexloveskili​

[28dayslater]

okay so basically my question is, is uni as fun as it looks?

i'm 23 and never went, i couldn't even finish college bc of mental health and then i never knew what i wanted in life so thought it didn't matter that i didn't go right away and i kept meaning to like figure it out but then i fell into a job i really like and have been here for a few years now and am content enough. no one in my family went to uni so it was never expected of me so when i didn't go there were no consequences y'know.

but social media is full of people in/who just graduated uni and it looks so fun that i feel like i've missed out. people posting videos in their new accomodation and with their flatmates and becoming best friends and staying up all night, going out doing random things and just having fun and being young with no expectations, and i feel like i've never experienced anything in my life.

like i did some of it, i moved out but there's no parties, no events or societies or getting off with strangers. and i hate to admit it but i still only have a single friend, not the friend group i always wanted. i've been on nights out a few times but it's always different because i know i have to go to work tomorrow, it's never the carefree "i don't know where i'll wake up and that's fine just living in the moment" type of experience. everything is different as an adult i guess. i'm tired by 8pm and going out until 10 is late for me.

and like i know myself i know i would not do well in uni due to my mental health and i would have dropped out or failed, and honestly i do not want to study i do not do well in education. i like finishing work and not having to worry about homework or whatever, but i really wish i could have experienced the social side of uni. i don't know if i'd have even enjoyed it, and it might have gotten old real quick, but i wish i could have at least tried it. and especially when everyone i work with met their partners and friends at uni, and i'm here doing everything i want to do just on my own because my singular friend doesn't share most of my interests.

but i also know people often exaggerate things on social media, and that lots of people don't share their experiences so i'm not sure whether uni is as fun as it always seems or whether it's just select people only sharing their few good experiences. idk i'm just kind of feeling like my entire life has just passed me by or something idk.

sorry for the dump omg i did not mean to say all that i was just gonna ask the question but lost the plot a bit 😭

i think the thing with uni is that like most things it is what you make of it. its a wonderful opportunity to hang out with people your own age, party and ignore your lectures and make stupid decisions bc youre on your own for the first time, and theres no other situation where youre gonna be so free to do what you want, but even when youre there that opportunitys only there if you take it. i went uni for three years, spent half of it violently depressed and not getting out of bed or doing any work, fucked up my actual degree and left with precisely one friend that im still in contact with. so even if youre in the position to be having the time of your life its very easy to waste it and end up having had no fun at all.

it sounds like you wouldnt have enjoyed the actual studying and what you're envious of is purely the social side. and tbf the social part of it does get old quickly, i spent my entire third year living with my best friend just watching crap tv every night instead of ever leaving the house or seeing anyone else. but also, theres no reason you cant create that social life for yourself! all the parties and that i went to at uni were just club nights in town or occasionally at the student union, you dont have to be invited or know anyone before you go.

and as miserable as it is to do and as trite as it sounds, you can make friends even when you're not forced together by school or uni or student accomodation. coworkers, friends of friends, roommates, online mutuals who don't live hundreds of miles away, you can ask those people to hang out and see where you can get from there. and as much as it sickens me to say bc i sound like my mum, theres always societies and events and stuff you can join if you go looking. most my adult friendships have only stayed in my life bc ive put effort into them and made a point of seeing those people and actively making plans. fucking sucks shit but thats the nature of being an adult, when youre not forced together by circumstance every day you have to cling to every friendship youve got and dig your claws in hard

but i hope you do okay! and i think you will