#cant quite get him to do what i want
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whats some of the ideas u have for different characters cutiemarks?
cutiemarks encompass one aspect and ‘talent’ of a pony, and so a pony cannot be defined by cutie mark alone but by their character. I was trying to go for more of a unique skill or aspect of who they are while keeping in mind that these are complex characters that cannot be boiled to one defining talent.
Sam has a Men of Letters Key, if theres a key there must be a lock, right? Unlocking potential, Lucifer being locked in the cage, and problem solving + connection to another part
Dean has a heart emblem, dude does everything out of love even when he isnt good at it. lock shadow underneath for connection to his brother, and Micheal who helped lock away Lucifer. (he got his cutiemark later than his peers when he stayed at Sonny’s)
Angels typically have a winged eye(s), Chuck has an All Seeing Eye and its on fire!
Fallen angels do not typically have cutiemarks, Lucifer for example no longer has his rising son cutiemark and remains blank. Castiel had more opportunity to regain a mark and rediscover himself as a person, though I have not decided what he is good at besides sacrificing himself and having too much heart and rebellion. I like to imagine it is a hoofprint to match the mark he left on Dean after pulling him from hell idk!
Mary has a hunting knife, she tells John its for soap carving and his dumbass believes her!
John has a scope target for his military experience and being a very good hunter and marksman. he thought Dean would have a similar gun related mark after taking him shooting for the first time
Kelly Kline has a checklist check, detail oriented, scheduled, planner, its a crazy job in the white house and she had her whole future planned out!
Jack Kline black and white ouroboros infinity symbol
demons also generally dont have cutiemarks either save for the princes of hell who have a yellow eye(s) that is on fire. Crowley, and folks who became demons after they sold their soul and rotted in hell for a bit, either have a faded mark or devil horns as a new mark.
Eileen has a magnifying glass making a werewolf foot bigger, she tracked down a banshee after 30years, she is perceptive of small details and is in depth with her research
Charlie has a computer :3
Bobby has a wrench good for him
Amara has a blind eye (darkness, cant see lmao)
archangels can change their marks, gabriel is typically the one to do so when its funny
ehhhhh probably more but they are suspect to change as i feel like it
#I wanted to try to stray from the anti possession tatoos we all know and love#spn#mlp#mlpnatural#supernatural#supernatural with ponies#lots of characters#lots of thoughts#asks#answered#sw#dw#angels and demons#cutie marks#complex characters#aough maybe i will draw#i have some sketches and many designs for this cast#but castiel is the one with a crack in his chasis#cant quite get him to do what i want
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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"i do agree there's a resemblance. um. very strong resemblance between us"
#my art#digital art#artists on tumblr#petscop#paul leskowitz#paul petscop#carrie mark#petscop care#bathroom tomb#im so tired rn but i dont CARE. ill spend 2 hours on a petscop piece no matter what#do you ever think about how paul looks in the mirror and cant quite place the face he sees#do you ever think about how paul knows he looks like care. do you think he wonders why the bathroom is identical#do you think he asks himself why the family is in the game. hey. do you think he doesnt have a strong sense of self and doesnt know why#hey#you know its bad when im saying nothing. whatever paul is in my soul and i cant get rid of him and i dont want to!!!!!#idk how much i like the text now but whatever. i like the sentiment#i gotta go to bed soon........
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new rt everyone shes a freak whos pretty sure shes been been given the role of rogue trader as an act of divine intervention to eventually replace the godemperor and bring new glory to the imperium which she thinks is dull and stagnant. dont worry about why she keeps marazhai caged in her trophy room like he's bait its not important and completely irrelevant to the fact ive joke nicknamed her simon thresh. has anyone noticed a lot of slaaneshi demons during warp jumps lately
#warhammer rogue trader#rogue trader#marazhai aezyrraesh#von valancius#if i ever mention about marazhai going insane on the voidship this is what i want you to think of#understimulated predator animal in a cage claws itself open#its worse with her but i do think he generally feels kinda insane anyway#yeah he's tricked into thinking she's tolerable and a fair alternative to the arena then hes taken to the voidship#yrliet [who was the fixation until now] tries to warn him about her before getting her head bashed in infront of him#spirit stone smashed into shards for ritual use body dragged off for vague poor medical knowledge dissection#he is now thinking the arena might not be so bad after all. except he's got no way to back out of this so hes screaming clawing at the wall#shes not giving him up willingly and the only person who could take him by force is calcazar whos not a great alternative tbh!#so he gets to go insane being bait for the chaos god he's already ocd fixated is stealing his soul [on top of normal drukhari fears]#and he's not able to maul anyone else while locked up so its just him dealing with this alone! yay#she doesnt give a shit about pasqal until he gets xenotech in him. then he goes to the trophy room too for study/more grafts#heinrix is most likely captive in the trophy room too with his death faked so he cant snitch#idira Almost got in trouble too for the implant she gets from tervantias but then it breaks and this lass is just angry at her#the Only reason she doesnt feed her to the wolves and kick her out is her door. and she is now trying to force it open with a crowbar#abelard has to deal with her shit and manage it socially. he never thought he'd want to retire but fucking hell when can he quit#she likes jae mostly for her connections. toxic yuri theyre both using eachother#she briefly idolises achilleas for bringing her to commorragh but then finds out he did it under torture and didnt want to. mad at him#he can make it up to her once hes a wrack though [he is going next to marazhai. this will only improve both their mental states]#can you tell this freak is a piece of work yet#shes got screams of the damned volume 3 playing across the ship and shes having a great time but is completely deadpan the whole time#unrelated! you can finally see my idea of marazhai next to a normal fucking human good god. yeah i think hes huge
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He stood in the center of a busy street surrounded by extravagant lights, reds, greens, and whites all shining down on him and lighting up the area despite the late hour. The snow that had begun was light enough to not obscure the view quite yet; merely a small scattering of flurries before a potentially bigger storm. He stood with an uneven but genuine little smile as Mikoto held up his phone, peeking around the edge of it for a moment to smile back before snapping a picture.
A little moment that stuck with me from @lostxmelody 's beautiful fic, Life's Reflection! There were so many amazing scenes, but of course a big sap like me would latch onto this one...
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#(the fic is x mikoto but theres not quite enough of him to tag here lol)#it was such a beautiful ending!! it was so wonderful seeing fuuta softer and happier and healthier --#i was so obsessed and really wanted to capture that ;---;#i really enjoyed the fic -- definitely go check it out!!#i Know mikotos phone would be in japanese but i was limited on my resources 😭#all the overlays/mockups online were from super old apple products?? i had to do this one manually with my partners phone lmao 😅#i was glad that the dates worked out though! :3#cant believe i drew a fuuta lockscreen at the same time triage hit 1M... i cant get rid of my pretty triage screen quite yet....#whats a girl to do.....
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Lark says "Hi, dad" and it is cold. Tired. Distant. That's all that's left between them-- "Dad" is a hollow thing. There's nothing there. Or, well, maybe one thing is there: Blame. It's someone's fault, and maybe it's Lark's, maybe it's Henry's, but someone's to blame. Maybe both of them are.
Sparrow says "Hi, dad" but what he's really saying is "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He's begging, pleading, and later, when he finds himself all but CLINGING to his father, he knows his apologies are hollow things, and no one is listening. Because yes, Sparrow is his father's son, but oh, Henry is his brother's father, and both have had enough of begging, of boundaries built and broken. But all Sparrow has are apologies--that's all that's left.
Guilt--that's all that's left between the three of them.
#HIIIII dndads fandom enjoy this piece of cringe 💖#ANYWAY i had to get my thoughts out bc i have been BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS#Anthony could have just said 'hi dad' once for both of them but he DIDN'T and THAT made me unwell#and then henry HARDLY hugging sparrow back???? AHHHH#left me thinking about how will had said previously Henry never really dealt with the anger he had with his kids#and how we've seen at least lark turn henrys talk of boundaries against him and i#Henry being so CIVIL to avoid another blow up fight with his kids so afraid to do anything wrong so wanting to do RIGHT#by what his kids want by what boundaries they've set#and in the end he ends up out of their lives to quite honestly the detriment of nearly all of them (i cant get started on lark rn lol)#idk idk im butchering this!!#its just they are all so GUILTY for things they could change and things they couldn't and that HAUNTS them#i am shaking the bars of my enclosure!!!! i need to lay down#dndads#dndads spoilers#dungeons and daddies
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bye bela :(
#she doesnt come back in liams run sadly ;;#i can never get her approval quite high enough oops#(tbf tho im not making a Huge Effort since thats how it happened the first time and its a replay run anyways)#laya plays dragon age#liam for his part is. so so pissed rn#what the FUCK isabla what do you MEAN you need that relic???#like. what. you would trade having one guy off your back for having THE QUNARI hunting you down????#he is. VERY goddamn angry in that qunari compound. at isabela but also just in general at Everything#that being said he still cant bring himself to tell the arishok that isabela has the tome#in part out of spite towards the arishok but also bc he genuinely doesnt know if the relic was there and/or if bela has it now#and if it wasnt then isabela might get hunted and killed for nothing#and if she does have it? well theyre gonna find out soon enough#stop fucking acting like this is all his fault somehow#if it were for him once the qunari attack he'd frantically gather up his friends and gamlen and evacuate somewhere safe#he does NOT want to be in the arishoks line of sight when he goes on a rampage#(hah. we all know how that works out LOL)
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#i needed some minutes to get my thoughts together but this is a more cohesive ... thing of what i feel? idk#i feel like theres just no balance. obvs they debuted at a difficult time and it wouldve been hard to push it back bc of the members etc#its either theyre ignored (quite literally) or they get fucked over. why is there no balance between keeping their essence and also promo#like its SM's fucking fault that they didnt reach their actual potential. and it's their fault on how they handled lu/as' scandal.#if you weren't going to add him back to the group. why did you waste almost two years of their time for no reason? i just dgi. it always#makes me feel sad to see that clip of ten spoiling phantom at a kick back stage. they had their next cb planned like... idek#i feel from omy onwards when they shifted under prism. theyve had a different sound and their focus feels just on the kn audience#which is WILD. they have 127 and dream as it is. and it was a wayv song that got cn banned from being sung on national tv so... ?#sm wants cn money but no effort with their cn group. and this comeback has just pissed me off ngl. i like the songs and the aes but what#is the aim? what audience are we trying to cater to? krn? global? cn? okay. you fucked up in the past but look at what the fans are saying#what they like. phantom was their cb and it broke records. personal and otherwise. why arent we sticking to this? why arent are there no cn#bsides. and ill never forgive them for blaming wayv and kun. i really never will.#and about the sc situation. i think he can do as he pleases and im happy with whatever he picks. but the purposeful sabotaging of wayv & him#shifting the dates so he cant participate. .. SM you'll implode by my hand i promise. and then his fans coming to shit on wayv like they#personally told him not to participate. ridiculousness from both sides.#i don't think its that hard to experiment but also stay with what was liked originally. if theyre a chinese group. give them some cn songs.#to add on. i personally believe they shifted the dates bc lu/as debut was a complete money waste and they desperately needed another avenue.#egg.co
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#i figured this would be better suited for a separate post continuing from here#I've had people get angry at me for giving Steve a proper strongman build - thus making him fat and muscular in the process#ive gotten people mad at me for making him his direct colorpicked skin tone. got told I made him ''the wrong color'' for it#got called slurs#got told i need to just ''take a joke'' when im getting right fully angry at people telling me im wrong for making his AU design that way#been quite literally told our art looks ''ugly as hell'' when people ran out of bigoted arguments#its all just getting really hard and really tiring to keep doing what i love when everyone is vocal about hating it#and very few people are vocal about liking it#i do art for me dont get me wrong. and people have been supportive.#but i cant help but wonder if anyone would have even cared about the mega ref at all if it hadn't been surrounded by people full of hate#its just hard to stay motivated and put my all into something that's gotten so much backlash for stupid reasons you know#i've been putting so much love into my work surrounding this AU lately. my writing and my art. for over the past year now#i try not to ask anything in return other than for people to just pay attention to it at all. give it a reblog#but the one time we have something out of it become popular its because people are stupid and bigoted#i dont care about numbers this isnt about that. i just care about returning the passion i put into the world.#if anyone wants to send anything my way feel free. i could use it#sorry for venting
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ok i get why anthy has creature of delirium now
#rgu ramblings abound:#i just assumed she had many-faced as in. socially. shifting to be whatever the current Engaged wants#but no yeah ep 23. she does do that.#what in the (end of the) world were those hands during ep 22 though#like yeah yeah time is fucked so the hourglass is blue for illusion#tokiko's lipstick on the teacup was orange so like... juri-color. hopeless relationships? i cant pin it down in words but yknow what i mean#but what was the black cats teacup butterfly guys holding hands etc about? might be missing cultural context. ill read some analyses later#god mikage is such a good character though. WILL miss him going ''fukaku motto fukaku''.#i know akio is the patriarchy but like. is he... a reverse bodhisattva or something????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#keeping people in the schoolgrounds-of-not-letting-go-of-the-past??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#..himemiya under orders from himemiyas brother pretended to be mamiya trying to get people to kill himemiya so mamiya could become himemiya#not quite ''vergil teamed up with vergils brother and vergils son to kill vergil so vergil could become vergil'' but close enough#saionji is the only one sweating during the intro. wonder what that means#i saw an utena out-of-context compilation before watching the show and like#nanami lesbian moment which i have no context for had birds. juri shiori episode had a birds. is birds lesbians???????#the cmwge seed program is EXTREMELY utena student council huh.#...i watched a few more episodes before posting#i had written a whole thing about how i didnt get why anthy was on CoD because they pull the sword out of *her*#and had an epiphany about how she like. used the black rose duelists as vessels and extracted the student council's swords#but nope! she's straight up pulling the sword out of utena now#the subtitles called the elevator a ''gondola'' and... I Don't Think That's What That Is. Like. At All#also god is akio creepy. viscerally uncomfortable man. i wish to Punt him#is the new ed song about jesus??? a full analysis wouldnt fit here but yknow. dante's paradiso mentioned. also nge is full of jesus so#also! empty motion??? after the primum mobile thing??? that seems important!!! is it referring to the eternal thing? i guess?#from that ooc compilation- touga repeated akio's throbbing engine thing p much verbatim to saionji. something something cycles of abuse#(it WAS an EXTREMELY funny scene though)#huh. not a single man in this show is normal about women. is that a themes thing or#oh wait no. yamada tanaka and suzuki. love those guys. i def didnt have to look up their names what are you talking about#also mamiya i guess but he doesn't count he's dead#was really expecting utena to turn into a car during the saionji duel. like. the whole arena's cars. i know she does it but if not now when
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crazy how i have no one
#like yes i have my internet friends and i adore them ofc#but i have no fucking one irl#and i mean no one. my mom’s side of the family is all dead and the other side is uber christian and doesnt give a fuck about us#i only have my brother#and i need help and support so horribly bad but i wasnt there for him when he needed me#so why the hell should he be there for me. he shouldnt#im going to have to rely on myself this time and i cant do that#i dont trust or believe in myself whatsoever#i think im fucking horrible and useless and repulsive#and idk how to be nice to myself bc ive never felt that and i dont know how to self soothe#i dont have the energy physically or mentally or emotionally to learn#and idk what to lean on anymore if i want to quit abusing substances#realized recently how much i do that.#and for how long. a decade. ive been acting like a 13 yo this whole time#idk how to move past and grow up. god i absolutely need to see my therapist again. if she’ll have me#i fear ill be rejected tho ive left and came back several times and last time she said ‘ofc ill take you back youre my person’#whatever that means. ive been an anomaly to every therapist/psych ive been to apparently they all mention how weird i am and how they cant#figure me out. like damn me too doc!#i want to email her so bad but i wont be able to see her until my insurance goes thru and i dont want to get free labor out of her if i dump#all the trauma ive sustained since i last saw her on her yw#but i want to get better i dont want to live like this anymore i cant do it#any of it#my coping mechanisms are all self destructive and i want to grow past that#but i need help and i dont have it. not really#whatever i guess. first step call and see wtfs going on w my insurance#i feel like i need help even for that . i feel so utterly incapable of everything snd i always have#i can do it. i can do it
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mysme is doing wonders for my mental health i miss you so much my defender of justice 707 my love my star my planet the light of my life the bfest bf to ever bf the earth
#teenager me got good taste. my twenty something ass is falling again for this man i love him#truly good for mental health at the cost of non peaceful night sleep? what a deal. i love you mysme#the fandom is dead but coming back to this game is the best choice i ever made this year so far#i love you mysme. take me back to 2016 again except dont that year was shit but i do miss you a lot#ESPECIALLY YOU!!! CHOI TWINS!!!!! SAEYOUNGIE!!! SAERANAH!!!!! I WUV YOU TWO!!!!!!!#saeyoung especially dear god if a man does not love you as much and as deeply and as multi dimensional LITERALLY as seven is he even worth#ah i love him#ALSO ZEN GOD i used to go aw he is so sweet and cute now im loving him a whole lot. gimme hourglasses pretty boy. and i love ur rants go of#his calls in seven's route day 8 forgot what time is the best. my guy i want u as my older bro#yoosung is so cute. his whining about uni life is so relatable. my introverted gacha game addicted ass get you lil guy#AND JAEHEE GOOD LORD JAEHEE.#as a teenager? she is cool. now? im screaming she is stronger than me anD#quitting her corporate job?? to open?? a coffee shop?? with me???? that's like. peak ideal marriage happy end there tf. CHERITZ.#cheritz i also wanna lie down in lingerie. on the bed with her too. CHERITZ GIMME THE CG#except cheritz no longer give mysme new content except for home screen which is gracious already#anw this is not about the game company MYSME!!!! I MISS YOU!!! THE FANDOM IS LONG DEAD!!! BUT!!!#SEVEN O SEVEN IS ETERNAL!!!! god he is branrotting me like he never did before the grip is insane#im laughing im crying saeyoung i love you#babblings#cant believe im returning to this blog just for this
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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(
#mine#oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times#but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry#like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie#im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc#i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me#thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related#anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that#ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired#// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always#because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life#like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing#me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little#so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die#every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he#is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him#every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again#but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh#i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT#I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time#like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me#he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do#he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away
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brian, the new shoe manager and cookie's nice guy sweet little church boo that magic homoerotically dommed and destroyed out of sheer prideful bloodlust should DEFINITELY be looked into as a casting option for a sam cooke biopic bcs .. WOW??
LIKE AM I TRIPPING OR
#add the lil bump in his nose#and mwah 🥰🥰#cooke in general has a littler nose#but more abt winning time... i am rlly enjoying it so far!!!!#i personally like the 4th wall breaks!#the style is rlly cute and quirky !! keeps ur attention#when it does stuff at the right time it's like OOO but sometimes it doesnt (alot of cuts..) but thats ok!!#i cant wait to see kareem and magic interact (im on ep 3 rn!!) they do such a good job at emphasizing kareems#'i know more than you.' attitude LMAO#i normally have a lovehate relationship with multiple character focuses but bcs all the ppl are meant to be viewed as#kinda immature and kinda shitty (either in a pos/neg sense.. it flips) i rlly like it cus it doesnt force u to like one specific person#everyone has flaws!!!#idk maybe i like it cus one of my fav books is the great gatsby lmao#norm refer kareem as cap whenever he wants his attention/wants to get something he wants... i know what you are .#magics mommy issues go insane#leos when they dont think someone they want proud of them isnt proud in the way they want them to showit/be#or in what THEY want them to be proud abt..... yikes. so the way he treats/views women and then the ppl close to him#.... ej please#him and brian shouldve been endgame instead that was quite hmm! cookie deserves better than the both of them tbh#dr buss or whatever reminds me of every guy who could save themselves with charm and no soul/hardwork#n that playb*y affliation immediately raised red flags. hes very interesting and irritable to watch i like it#AND I TOTALLY CALLED TARK THE SHARK BEING A TURK!!! thank u godfather ANYWAYS i love the show it's great#need more gayness... hope isiah shows up in season 2 so i can clap n whistle like a marvel endcredit character reveal#ZEKE WILL RETURN
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