#cant believe u think im my love mine all mine im actually sick to my stomach i adore mitski :(

[b1mbodoll]

my sweet gabi im listening to music rn but i just had to come tell you that if you were a song u would be my love mine all mine by mitski 😖 i think of you every time i hear it bcause you’re such a loving person and make us feel so cared for when you interact w/ us :-(

p.s i’m sorry you’re getting hate again :-( take a break from tumblr if you need it princess

tears r welling up in my eyes :( my heart hurts m so honored wtf im gna cry like seriously agh this made me so happy i love being lovey dovey i love u guys im so :( thank u so fucking much for saying this, sweetie pie 🥺 im so sad oh godddd i love u i love u i love u wtf!!!!! im soso honored n proud that im a source of comfort for u guys :( ps everyone !!!!! pls know u r always welcome in my asks or dms if u ever need anything! i love u all dearly dnt ever forget i love u and care about u

[essiekuko]

why did shannen have to pass literally 3 months after i got into heathers </3

i'd download all of amala str8 up!!

someone liked my post and i got scared so i privated that photo of me 😭😭 i do want ppl to interact w my posts and go viral but its like, this is tumblr, people are so anonymous here and tumblr gives the vibes of an empty school hallway. it gets scary in here

anyway, souncloud to mp3 how i love u

downloading all these mp3s and running the risk of a virus lmfao

i look back at my google photos and realise i looked best in july, the month before i developed my €d 😢 i looked so hopeful too i guess, and happier? i've always thought, since my €d, i finally knew how to be truly pretty, by being in control. but idk. visually, post-july just doesnt look right to me, even tho i wanna believe it's the best. maybe i was just reeealllyy blissfully unaware pre-august. 4n4 august...

ok, i used to not mind how ppl could just profit off of covering lana's unreleased songs. even the songs she did release at one point. but this is insane. i've heard suzi chavo's cover on apple music (it sucked shit but i dont think thats relevant) and i mean, i did kinda respect that. but this insane fr, lana has 1000s of unreleased songs ppl could easily just go and steal. i get that it's her art and all, and she doesnt see her art as products, but idkkk i cant believe i got COPY RIGHTED for an originally UNRELEASED song????? by someone who covered that song??????????????? smh ☠ ppl dont even credit lana too but yk. capitalism wins i guess. suzi chavo is an account that js uploads remixes of songs (sped up, slowed, etc.) and different people's covers of songs that aren't originally uploaded (like ldr unreleased covers). but comonnnn suzi. copyrighting them?????? tf is going on up there lmfao. capitalism wins!!!!

does anybody with €d rlly say they developed it when they like. realised they had it/learned they had it/got diagnosed with it. cause it couldnt be all that info in that particular moment. i think its developed throughout the life, the diagnosis is just when ppl realise u need help. thats why idk how to feel when im like i developed mine in august. cause thats literally just when i found €dtblr lmfao. and then thats when i started to dive into the really unhealthy behaviours and learn how to do this and do that. and learn that its called this and its called this, and these things exist and stuff like that. when i was younger i never understood €ds. my brother would see like one really sk1nny person and just turn to me and say "thats what 4n4 looks like" and i never actually knew what he was talking abt. i couldnt really register it properly. i was definitely leaning into it growing up and it was practically inevitable that i'd become sick with it. once in yr9 me and my friend were, i think, arguing/play fighting and i think f4t jokes were being passed around so i just went "€d" and she got pisseedddd. and she just up and left the table, i didnt even know the weight of what i said. and we didnt talk for like 2 days!!!!! before my friends had to make us make up, and im pretty sure she was lying when she said "oh no i wasnt actually mad at u for saying that. i've just been thru a fight with my bf and i didnt feel like talking to u" ha GIRL. my friend backed me up, said i just had "dark humor" and i didnt even agree nor disagree or even say anything. but we did make up, we're still friends but went to different hs but most definitely we're still friends. last we talked was y10 but thats bc we just drifted apart, im ok with it tho. moving onto bigger and better things. i talk/interact more with her younger sis than her nowadays, we've just grown up and became 2 different ppl who didnt talk to each other. i used to long for her friendship back then but im over it now

[dolphin-enthusiast]

hello my beloved morgy!! i'm alive and well! 💌💘💞 awaaaaa,, i missed you a lot darling!! even if its only been a few days, life is way more dull when i can't check in with you here :( i hope you've been doing well during that short absence of mine, and if things aren't going so swell, i'm here to hopefully cheer you up dear!! 😊❤ (1/10)

"i am doing much better now and i'm fully recovered, and thank goodness i didn't wind up hospitalized again!!! apparently my narcolepsy fired up crazily when i started to fall ill, and that ended up confining me to my bed, which was absolutely horrible (especially since i couldn't talk to you 😞💕) we still don't know what the illness was, but luckily i fought it off fast thanks to my family and friend's quick thinking!! i'm much happier now that i'm here again with you 💖 (2/10)

and oh gosh, you finished sbr??? ahhh that makes me so happy and so sad at the same time!! it's actually my favorite part along with vento aureo, and don't worry love, i want gyro back too, so you're not alone on that 😖 oh, and all those picrews?? lovely as always!! i love how much creative liberty you all take,, it astounds me!! and it shocks me that you all remember such miniscule details about me,, like the fact that i love the bahamas, ahhhh i'm so flattered by all of it!! (3/10)

i can never choose a favorite creative piece that any of you send in, i just love them all so much!! once again, thank you for all of your hard work and effort, i adore it each and every day 💕💕💕💕 thank you all for your well wishes and love!! my sister told me that apparently you mentioned something about people freaking out over me,, oh my! that surprised me a lot,, so any of those anons who read this, please don't worry about me!! (5?/10)

i assure you i'm okay, i just have a bad immune system and get sick easily, that's all!! but all of your concern means so much to me, thanks a million 💞 before i got sick, some friends came over since they wanted me to teach them how to ballroom dance for some reason,, it was very sudden but i was happy to do so nonetheless! i haven't danced like that in a long while, so it was quite exciting for me,, i am a dancer after all! (6/10)

i taught them how to do a basic waltz and tango,, they seemed to enjoy it a lot!! i suppose i'm a dance teacher now hehe 💞 oh, and last night, a friend slept over and we spent the night watching different televised comedy shows! stand-up has always held such a special place in my heart,, because when i was very small, i wanted to be a famous comedian for a long period of time,, silly isn't it? (7/10)

i would watch all of these different comedians perform and look up to them as inspirations,, i even wrote a few comedy routines to perform in front of my family when i was 4,, i guess i was really into it! now that i'm older, my aspirations have changed, but i still love to occasionally sit in comedy clubs with a glass of whatever i want, ahhh,, it never gets old ✨ (8/10)

ooh, and my mom and i were finally able to catch the escapee bunny from a while ago!! we brought him back to the garden, and he wouldn't stop following me around! i named him toffee, and he kept trying to jump on me for cuddles,, awaaaa it was so cute!! i can't wait to see him again 🌺 (9/10)

ahhh there's still so much i need to talk about, but its getting late here!! so i'll just continue on tomorrow then hm? goodnight amore, sleep well for me!! sweet dreams! 🌹 - love always, your amorous waifu xoxo 💕💖💘💌💋🌹 ps: you know morgy, like that one anon said, you also live in my brain rent free 💗 also, you are way too nice to me for your own good morgy dear, i swear, i can't stop smiling whenever you pull your sweet one-liners <3 (10/10)"

Im very glad to see ur back and fine darling, i acc forgot to answer all the anons but trust me my inbox was literally b o m b a r d e d w ppl sayin they miss u and wishing that u'd get better soon😳😳😳 if anything i'd say the fact that u didnt end up in the hospital again is very lucky and relieving

I myself cant believe i finally finished sbr yesterday and goddamn dat ending was far from pleasant🤡🤡 imma just say shame on araki for killin off all my homies....no more homies all my homies are D E A D (as a matter of fact my fav is p4 but i think u know that already)

And wow u as a comedian? Ngl i did not see it coming but thats oddly cute?? Like just imagining a tiny waifu creating comedy skits and performing them is really amazing for whatever reason jdhshsn i still see u more on the v o g u e side of things doe👁️👁️

Even if u were hella sicc at least u managed to snatch wigs and teach ppl how to dance (cant relate watch me step on everyone's toes within a 10 mile radius, mine included) a n d summoned ur disney princess powers again in order to get that rabbit😩😩😩 i also love pullin one liners bc really ur reactions are g o l d darling and thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth👀👁️👀👁️

[gnrsly]

THE DIARY OF MY MOON AND HIS STARRY NIGHT EYES

NOV 1st, 2017 at 2:32 am

i think i’m falling for you. you make me feel better. like i’ve healed over. i know i shouldn’t feel like this but i do. god emotions are confusing.

NOV 12, 2017 at 7:34 am

you are officially mine. i’m so happy and in love. i hope this won’t end up bad. i trust us not to fuck this up.

DEC 23rd, 2017 at 4:23 am

i believe this is going well. i’m happy. you seem happy. i’m in love and i hope you are too. we’ve been fighting a bit but i think it’s going to be okay.

JAN 3rd, 2018 at 12:34 am

i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you.

you broke my heart. i hate you. but i hate her. she said i was bad. i’m not. she said i cheated. i never did. she said i was using you. i wasn’t. she said break up with me. you did. why? i love you. i trusted you...

JAN 8, 2018 at 3:24 am

i thought that if i threw it away it would leave me.

that the pain would maybe go away.

that the scars that where never really there would go away.

but i found your sweatshirt.

you probably want it back.

and i hate the fact that i don’t know how to.

because it’s the only thing to remind me of you. it’s the same cologne you’ve worn for the past 2 years.

ive been wearing for almost 5 minutes but each second is a different flashback and it hurts. because this once was a sweatshirt i considered home.

it felt loved and comforting

but now it’s empty.

i should probably give it back.

but i feel if i give it up i’m giving up you. and i can’t do that. not yet.

JAN 16, 2018 at 1:44am

fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck.

you posted the letter, me being the number 1 reason.

“you poisoned my heart with you toxic love”

how was i toxic? i was the gave everything up for you. my sanity. my friends. my family. my love.

but i’m toxic. because i called you out on your bullshit.

even if i was toxic, i actually tried to make something out of the relationship. sorry that i didn’t want to be a midnight fuck for you.

but hey. at least i didn’t talk shit about people behind their back.

no offense but next time you want to call me a cunt, say it to my face not my friends.

FEB 15th, 2018 at 12:34 am

we are trying again.

it won’t last

well the relationship at least.

i was wrong per usual.

it wasn’t me, or maybe it was and you lied to my face. either way i’m almost happy.

thank you i guess? you gave me back some sanity, but they still blame me. but at least i’m with you.

MARCH 12th, 2018 at 2:37 am

fuck you.

maybe. it’s my fault. i always cause things to go down hill. i couldn’t compare to the girl with the long pretty hair, i’m just a dumb boy who’s fallen and can’t get up. she’s toxic. she’s going to hurt you, but it’s okay. not really but you don’t believe me.

i still love you, but it must be one side.

but how many times when i kiss you, i’m kissing a memory of her.

MARCH 23rd, 2018 at 11:21 pm

i’m drunk. you’re drunk in love, but i’m just wasted and angry. maybe i could’ve done something. she hurt you. but you hurt me.

i asked you awhile back how long you’ve loved liv, and you said never. she was forceful and cruel. i hate it, that agin i could’ve done something but instead i sat around and became a poet. well fuck.

APRIL 13th, 2018 at 1:01 am

you said you never meant anything. you weren’t on meds. that’s okay though because i trust you. i really do. you make me happy. we are healing. no longer together but healing. i still like you. a lot. i don’t know whether to start over yet. i’m kind of confused. but i know that i trust you.

APRIL 28th, 2018 at 11:34 pm

everyone says you like me. i doubt it. we aren’t ready for a new relationship. i don’t think so at least. but life is confusing and it kind of a love sick puppy. you missed me earlier. no one knew. i’m in love i think.

MAY 2, 2018 at 4:45 pm

you asked me to be yours. i said yes. i know that you truly love me and trust me. you said so and i’m taking your word on this. don’t hurt me again. i’m to close to breaking.

MAY 31st, 2018 at 11:54 pm

we were doing good. we had our ups,

our downs,

and our stay stills.

but you say one thing. one single thing and suddenly the whole world is down on their luck. it’s everyone else’s fault but yours. because you feed off your egos. take someone i’m close to and you use them against me. you lie, and lie. cause that’s all you do. at this point i’m questioning if you love them both more than me. because i’m doubting you even loved me.

JUNE 2nd, 2018 at 9:35 pm

this is the first time. this is the first time i’ve ever felt you physically hurt me. it wasn’t a slap or a hit. you just shoved me away. i walked next to you. that’s it’s. and you ran to her. why her? you told me you don’t trust me. you don’t know if you truly love me. told me that you don’t know how to love me anymore. and i hate the fact that i feel the same way towards you.

JUNE 9th, 2018 at 12:32 am

i want to text you. tell you to end it. i want to end it. i’m giving you 10 days. if it’s not fixed. it’s over. because this is toxic.

and i know why.

i don’t think i love you anymore. i don’t think that i feel the same butterflies. now they don’t flutter but churn. i don’t love you. i despise you. you hurt others and you know it. i hate you. there is no longer love in me. only hurt, anger, and heartbreak.

JULY 8, 2018 at 12:45 am

ha bitch. you thought. it’s over and i’m healing

(not really, because drinking vodka and going to jail isn’t healing)

SEP 10th 2018 at 10;56 pm

My best friends chose you. I’m now the outsider. Is this what you wanted? For me to be lonely? For you to be everyone’s favourite? Because now I’m alone in my room and I am crying. Begging for someone to listen, but you are standing with them. That stupid fucking smirk on your face. Is this what you wanted? Because you got your wish. You are truly a god. A fucked up, twisted god.

October 1st 2018 at 8:55pm

she is yours. she loves you and i loved you. i still do. i really do. but because of how shitty everything is in my life, i don’t want you to love me back. but hear me out. my best friend is in love with you. don’t break her heart because they already have been damaged enough. learn to love her for her flaws and her quirky attitude. i love her because she is my best friend and i love you as so much more. but i’d give anything in the world to see her smile at someone and be in love. don’t break her heart.

November 24th 2018 @ 17:42 (aka 5:42)

you are my soulmate. you’re my best friend

and i’m okay with that

january 18th, 2019 @ 11:15pm

rereading messages hurts. you broke my best friend. she thought she was in the wrong. you cheated on her. and now that she is talking to a new boy, you had the audacity to call her a whore? yet you’ve fucked everyone in the friend group. fuck you. i’m going to keep talking to you because my other friend is falling for you. stop doing this.

september 16 2019 @ 10:43 pm

it’s been years. i know im over u. at least my brain tells me i am but my heart hurts when i think of u. but u cant seem to stop hurting the people around me. we r older now. we are different people i’m not some insecure kid anymore, oh no. i’m an asshole who isn’t afraid to say u hurt me. and i hurt u. i played victim but so did u. but u r still my friend. one of my brothers. just listen to me okay? i love u. and it won’t ever change. and this may be the end to this letter bc i found a new love who i know will stay in my poems for years to come. i may never stop writing about you but i’m done giving it to you

[xz017]

.

oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???

got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker

the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.

her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like

basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that

girl be actin homeless---mood

so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like

‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’

n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao

‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’

i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao

anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!

cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke

i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that

but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me????????????????????? 

um...no one

like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway

cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’

n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE

n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.

n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time

n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate

and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve

n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset

cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck

deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts

n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT

n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO

n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS

n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually

n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive

n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like 

no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here

n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...

cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane

n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more

n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican

and she gave me a sideeye 

but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right

im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?

im scared.

like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race

n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen

like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?

my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school

n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh

im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist

i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule 

like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack 

wat is the truth rip

the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.

my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow

n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.

which is ye know good for her rip.

i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities

like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like

binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye

n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm

mine is for science n validity

hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...

bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip

but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?

im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???

prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???

what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.

i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.

that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.

n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip

i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man

meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip

god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly

# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me

now im sad

im dead.

omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’

DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready 

like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love

the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love

the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness

but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh

bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip 

meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...

i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do

but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble. 

bitter but like...humble

‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’

‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’

‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’

oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?

had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.

my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni

rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you

n she was like so no children then:(

n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro

but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?

anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...

sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji

rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh

At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that

then she was like ew nO

then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card

which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.

so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth

but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?

really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.

nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR

rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand

i miss the gays

i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well

add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand

n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--

n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’

n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’

n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip

Big sand honestly.

it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand

i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8

[chimchimchoo]

Fly Me to the Moon :: Ch 7

Genre: Pure fluff crack

Word Count: 1,369

Pair: Yoongi x Jimin

Collaborated with @tayvengeance

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

“CHEER UP THIS SAD, EMO BOY!”

02-222-3333

Jimin stared at the note on the bathroom wall for a solid 5 minutes before he pulled out his phone and typed in the number.

authors note: we do not own any of the pictures, for better formatting so it’s more comfortable to read, check it out on AO3! AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14944508/chapters/36107328 Twitters: Tae’s Sujin’s <3 - Tae & sujin

Chat With Mochi_Moves:

2016.02.12

15:30

Mochi_Moves:

hey

sugar lips

c:

SUGA:

hey baby boy

do you even like it when I call you that?

I’ve never asked.

Mochi_Moves:

You can call me anything you like

but if you ever call me butterbean

i swear we’re ending this right here and now

SUGA:

why the fuck would I call you butterbean

what the fuck does that even mean?

butter doesn’t come from beans.

Mochi_Moves:

i’ve heard couples say it

(believe it or not)

i think i gagged a couple of times

SUGA:

not this fucking couple.

we’re classy.

I just send you one of these

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHIKf0f9E40

and I 100% know I got u.

Mochi_Moves:

and this is why i love you

my oojy coojy woojy moojy poo-poo

SUGA:

WHAT IN FUCK.

Mochi_Moves:

what’s wrong honey bunny buckles?

SUGA:

hi I don’t appreciate this name experimentation

you got going on

keep sugar lips

pls

im begging u

Mochi_Moves:

sure thing sugar lips

it suits you best anyhow

SUGA:

:)

wow I love you

:) :) :) :)

so Valentines day is a shit fest holiday but it’s coming up

in like 2 days, and we’re dating.

So like were you expecting anything that day?

Mochi_Movies:

well

i mean

i was thinking of spending valentines day

as a pre-date

for our 3 month anniversary c:

it’s back to back

and i’m planning the big night this time

SUGA:

[:

whatcha planning, love?

Mochi_Moves:

i’ll tell you when the day gets closer

it’s still in the works

c:

SUGA:

Well

if you want

on valentines

we could get a hotel room

and spend the day alone together

Mochi_Moves:

should i

should i bring a polaroid camera?

SUGA:

;)

we might use it

Mochi_Moves:

alright, i’ll bring it c;

SUGA:

This is me on my way to make a reservation at the

Lotte hotel around here

Mochi_Moves:

wow, look at my man

i love him so much???

be careful with those good looks

someone can easily snatch you away

:c

SUGA:

But how can someone snatch my heart

when you already have it

Mochi_Moves:

what country did i save in my past life to get myself a man like this

SUGA:

Weren’t you Mother Teresa?

Joan of Arc?

Gandhi?

any of those lives could have landed you me in this one

;)

Mochi_Moves:

don’T MAKE ME CRY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DANCE ROOM MIN YOONGI

SUGA:

I LOVE YOU

:D

Mochi_Moves:

you’re lucky everyone else is grabbing food rn

SUGA:

oh you look delicious

wow

Mochi_Moves:

I know

i’m a full course meal that gets served at the queen’s palace

made by the most skilled italian chefs

c:

SUGA:

damn right you are

wow

and I get you all to myself.

I’m spoiled rotten

how did I deserve such a royal meal?

Mochi_Moves:

that’s just what we do

spoil each other rotten

i love it c:

SUGA:

Baby all I want to do is spoil you rotten

What do you want? I’ll get you anything you want

for valentines day

Mochi_Moves:

actually, i don’t really want anything

i already have everything i want

as disgustingly cliche as that sounds

it’s 100% true

SUGA:

well then i guess the only package you get to unwrap is mine

;)

Mochi_Moves:

SUGA:

OH MY GOD

I WAS JUST JOKING

Mochi_Moves:

but

i wasn’t

SUGA:

………

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHIKf0f9E40

Mochi_Moves:

c:

start running to that hotel sugar lips

SUGA:

tsk tsk, too impatient, Jiminnie.

gotta build up to the moment.

Mochi_Moves:

ahh

ill try

c;

SUGA:

come with me to book this fucking room

…

and let me kiss you~

Mochi_Moves:

hmm

i guess the dance team can live without me for a few hours

give me 10 minutes

<3

SUGA:

Who said I’d let you go back to dance practice

;)

Mochi_Moves:

oh

OH

well by all means

i’m calling out sick

hoseok hyung can deal

and make that 5 minutes

c :

SUGA:

You’re so damn easy to please

i love it

yes

come to your favourite hyung~

Mochi_Moves:

actually make that 10 minutes

i need a coffee

wouldnt want me to fall asleep on you now would you?

can i grab anything for my sugar lips?

SUGA:

you know what I like :)

Mochi_Moves:

yes i know i know you’d like me

but what about something to /drink/

SUGA:

you can grab me a glass

because you’re the hydrating drink of water

that I’ve been craving all day

;)

Mochi_Moves:

oh my god

tall black coffee it is

and probably a condom

if that lust doesnt chill

SUGA:

I was gonna save the sex for valentines

but if you really want

;) ;) ;) ;)

Mochi_Moves:

mm

the condoms gonna be on hold

its gotta be special like you said

it can wait c:

SUGA:

good.

also

should there be music?

is there a song you wanna have sex to?

have you ever thought about this Jimin?

Mochi_Moves:

music??

but dont people always say that the voices alone

are music to their ears??

or was that just straight up poetic

SUGA:

I mean

in my dreams

when you moan my name

it puts fucking Bach to shame

Mochi_Moves:

oh my gOD

SUGA:

So is that a no on the music?

Mochi_Moves:

what about a piece with your piano?

id love nothing more than something of yours

what about

first love?

SUGA:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyHaRCMbx6A

what about this piece Namjoon filmed for class once

It’s called I Need U

Mochi_Moves:

wow

look at my beautiful man playing a beautiful song

i love it

its perfect

SUGA:

HAVE I NOT SHOWN YOU THIS VIDEO?

Mochi_Moves:

NO CLEARLY NOT

WHAT KIND OF BOYFRIEND ARE YOU

SUGA:

We filmed it that one day I had re-bleached my hair

before I dyed it silver

Because he said I looked like all innocent in all white

but

I Need U

yeah

I kinda wrote it

with you in mind

there’s no lyrics or anything

but the song is about idk

i guess how you help me live my best life?

Not to sound emo or anything

but

It’s like I need you because my crippling depression and

anxiety will take hold of me and you kinda ground me?

Idk I put a lot of emotional weight on you.

I’m sorry

but I’ve never been able to love like this before.

So yeah, another song for you.

How many songs have I made for you now?

Mochi_Moves:

Min Yoongi

never apologize for writing songs

if it expresses yourself better

and makes you happier

in fact

keep writing more

write as many as your heart desires

because shamelessly

i love it when you write songs about me

c:

SUGA:

Jiminnie

i’ll write you an album

20 songs

all 5 minutes long

no

2 albums

fuck, as many as it takes

I’ll write you songs until I physically can’t write anymore

Mochi_Moves:

for every song you write

i’ll create a choreography for it

just for you

SUGA:

Power couple.

that’s us.

Mochi_Moves:

just your typical disgustingly cute and Gay™ couple

SUGA:

so uh…

not to break up this charming conversation

because it is

and i love you

but

how’s that coffee coming along?

Mochi_Moves:

its tall (unlike you)

and hot

c:

SUGA:

*and hot (like you)

I think that’s what you meant

Mochi_Moves:

yes of course

i’d figure you knew

so i didn’t need to remind you

the tall fact

however

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SUGA:

yah

you’re the same fuckin height

shut your beautiful mouth

Mochi_Moves:

dont tell me how to live my life

SUGA:

It’s been like 11 minutes

where is my chim chim

:(

I need u baby

and that coffee

but mostly you

Chim Chiminnie

Chim Chiminnie

Chim Chim Cherrie

Yoongi’s as lucky as lucky can beeeee

Chim Chiminnie

Chim Chiminnie

Chim Chim Cheroo

I don’t know the rest of the song

but I sure do love you~

Mochi_Moves:

sorry

i ran into kookie on the way

did you just sing mary poppins??

anyway where are you

im at the hotel

but i cant find you

:c

theres just a bunch of tall business men here

and one short guy

oh wait

there you are!

SUGA:

fuck you

I’m inside

Mochi_Moves:

c:

[irregulardiaryposts]

16:35 01/03/2021

so. its now march!!!!! march is an okay month. but it also means its been a year since corona really kicked off and thats proper weird to think about. it feels like absolutely fuck all has actually changed but yet im a very different person yk. i played minecraft for 10 hrs last week. im addicted to it. this time last year i was kinda sick and we thought i had corona but since testing wasnt really available i just had to stay home ages. it was horrible but to think that was a whole YEAR ago is absolutely fucking wild. 

anyway back to minecraft. i absolutely love it. its such a simple game and you can truly play however you want to. like. if u dont want to bother beating the enderdragon or doing any serious grind stuff, you can literally just fuck about doing whatever you wanna do... u wanna build a little cottage in the woods? yes. u wanna pick lowers and decorate and build cute farms? yes. u wanna explore a vast and expansive world filled with literally endless possibilities and find pets and loot and different biomes and blocks? yes. you wanna mess around with ur friends? yes. u wanna do pvp or multiplayer games? yes. u wanna meet new people? yes. u wanna play by yourself and become exceedingly rich? yes. u wanna do all this and comforted by the melodic tunes and beautiful landscapes? yesssssssss. it literally has something for everyone but people get so pissy about how others play its soooo annoying. like so what if someone wants to go into creative and cheat or they wanna play on peaceful or they have keep inventory on? they are playing the game in the way they enjoy the most, the way that makes them happiest, makes them comforted, allows then to enjoy playing it. coz i bet if everyone was made to play the exact same way and there was no way to customise your experience, it would not be nearly as popular as it is. it probs wouldve died out if people werent enjoying it because they got frustrated by it, or too scared to lose their things to progress in the game, or too anxious to play because its scary and they dont know how to beat things. or if people play solely in creative and they enjoy that the most and wanna try survival, they dont deserve to get made fun of coz they want to ease their way into harder things. or if someone just wants to build or just explore or just tame a million dogs, as long as they are happy they are already enjoying the game to the max, they dont deserve people being like “ if u play without X youll enjoy it more coz thats the way we play it” like fuck off it would be like if a hardcore players was like “play in hardcore or ur stupid” ppl would get mad because thats not the way they want to play it and they wouldnt enjoy it as much or at all as the hardcore player does. and dont even get me started on this whole bedrock vs java bs. this its such a waste of time like??? who benefit from this argument? because its silly java players think they are automatically better than every bedrock player because they have java. 

like obviouslyyyyyy java is better and im sure a lot of bedrock players would rather java, but u cant lie and say that a lot of og players didnt start on bedrock and then upgrade to java, because as kids u cant really afford a proper pc but everyone has an xbox or an ipad lol. like they literally forget that they probably started playing on bedrock too. and its so stupid because yes while bedrock is a little shit in comparison to java, ITS STILL THE SAME FUCKING GAME just be glad were not fucking fortnite players jesus its pathetic. yes this is essentially a minecraft post and what fucking about it. i told u im obsessed with it. 

i should talk about something else. perhaps my crippling procrastination? its absolutely abysmal how shit at school i am now. i get two unconditional offers and suddenly i think i dont need to do a single bit of work (its kinda true tho) i only have three classes and in doing 1 and 1/2 of them. im not even bothering studying for prelims/exams whatever the fuck because im hopeless. theres no point because even if i do end up doing the exam and i fail theres absolutely no consequences because i have 0 shame. ill walk out of an exam i failed with my head held high because i know uni will be so much better - ill only have one subject, one i actually enjoy and want to do work for (only somewhat tho, my procrastination problems still carry through, im actually doing this instead of a 15 min thing for class but whatever) ill have a reduced working day, i can focus on just one subject, ill have other things to work on too like a part time (scary) and car (exciting) and ill get to meet new people that also want to learn spanish and are interested in it too, and i want to make more friends and i want to be more independent (moving out??? hopefully but also scary) 

i cant believe im actually at a point in my life where im actually interested in the future and want to live to see it (lol yeah) like i wonder what 13 yo me would think. even 15 yo me. i wonder how 20 yo me will look back on this. hi me if ur reading. do u have a s/o?? or new friends? how many new experiences have u had? are u comfortable in ur life? struggling ? happy? i hope ur happy coz u deserve to be. i deserve to be. i hope u have a good time reading these. i dont know if ill ever forget about this blog or not. what was i talking about tho. procrastination. its horrible, I hope u get that fixed pls tell me u do. also please tell me u get better at typing.  this has accidently turned into a speaking to ur future self thing. ill stop now. 

im a very good procrastinator. and my ability to actually focus on stuff has been getting comical. idk if its the pandemics fault or mine or schools but is a bloody issue and it needs to get better. i guess its coz i just have absolutely 0 energy do do what i need to or it just absolutely does not interest me to do it and i know theres absolutely no consequences to it looool. 

every now and then theres a day where i feel very unproductive and lazy and it feels like how it used to. a sort of growing annoyance at myself and feeling like a slug. idk some days i feel teleported back to like almost 4 years ago and idk what to do about it. i used to have a coping mechanism (?) where if i felt bad about stuff id just shower, wash my hair and put on new pjs and do something i wanted to do. it kinda put me in a clearer headspace and allowed be to get out of a slump for like 20 mins. u could call it self care or whatever but it genuinely was like washing the bad thoughts away and starting anew (is that the word) like i was able to think more rationally and get back into the semi real world but i was also doing it because i never used to have a proper shower routine, i used to go days without showering or getting out of bed for much and it kinda feels good to have this little reboot thing where i just shower to get me away from straying back there. 

idk. am i articulating well enough. ive written a lot i think. is there any more updates? nothing really apart from my growing disinterest in all things school lmao. anyway until next time i suppose (will probs be either never or like june lol)

[pokefanbri]

"Home is where the heart is" I dont have to tell you where that lies. But its only part of the pain. I know in my heart I'm a good person, but my life has been in shambles since I was young. Theres many like me, that dont deserve the life they were given & yet somehow persevere through it just to survive & try to be happy through the pain.

How I ask do I deserve not to be happy. I feel there was no justice for me, I was dishonorably discharged lol. I was truly happy where I was, but even if i were to travel place to place...that is also in my blood, not just the place I resided.

I was at home, I was at peace, I truly loved everyone there & every second. But do I dare go there again, absolutely in a heartbeat. But this is what kills me, Part of me says "this is your life now, accept it, push through even if u can't" the other part of me says that ill be white knighted with a bust through the door like the kool-aid man & he says "sike, yea i fucked it up & didn't realize I had something special, will u forgive me" 😅

But i know that could just be my imagination & im overthinking again. But where actually is my life headed? I have a good heart, i care so much about those thats affected me even in a bad way...but maybe that's God's love showing right through me, because I forgive easy & help those that need it. My brother says that a "helper" is equivalent to a partner in crime & all aspects, a soul mate. He throws the word around with this subject, but he's also trying to find his forever helper which he believes is the mother of his 1st born children. Thats great, given the right circumstances & if her situation was better, yea they could probably try.

For me, caring & trust is my biggest downfall. Because i do so much for others b4 myself, I end up taken advantage of or at least feeling like it. Even if its not the case, the wrong thats been done to me all my life..made me this way. I cant help that. And to find someone that I trusted fully, only to find out that I couldn't. That breaks a person like me down & actually hurts to the core. I didnt deserve that, but it was the disservice that was thrust upon me without a 2nd thought. I wasn't given the proper chance to love someone because they refused to love me back & yea most of the time it was about them...but thats a leo for ya 😅

When someone shares it mutually, everyone wins, you're complete, u have that "helper" you've been longing for all your life. The good times that were shared, the humorous banter, doing something for the other just cuz u can & cuz u want to, showing eachother off to friends & family like "yea thats my babe right there" as if to say they were happy u were there,the best friend & sidekick that everyone needs...it was all gone in a blink of an eye. Leading on my heartstrings, making me fall harder & harder, the friendship to the end even, all for nothing. But because of all the positives, thats what gets me, it's why my pain is so confusing. Why was it all like that if not on purpose whether for a positive reason I have yet to understand, to make it easier for them not to deal without regard for the others feelings, or cause God making me suffer more through it to make me stronger...when I thought I was done with low struggles already.

Idk man, I just dont understand. But because of what my life has been like over the past half of the year, all the positives makes me want more...because I never got all of him in the 1st place. I always wanted more because he held himself back & on purpose. So maybe it did seem like attachment, but only cuz I longed for the same feeling in return & didnt give up trying to find it..literally any sign of it. I was trying to figure his sweet ass out & learn what kind of person he really was lol, so I could accommodate to him more especially in the last weeks I was sweating my ass off 😆 I was dedicated so much I was willing to change what wasn't liked on the outside. Like I wanted to do so much to keep the best thing i had, cause deep down I knew his old feelings fizzled out quick & I just didnt understand & I still dont. I mean I guess I understand if he wasn't ready for a commitment? And that's fine, but he committed b4 & when I was brought there. What is it that was so wrong about me, that negative thoughts festered so much about someone it makes u think someone else is the problem, when its not the case at all.

Theres nothing i can think of, nothing else i could've done to show my worth, that I wasn't a waste of time. Maybe I pushed too hard? But in those last few weeks I gave space & focused on myself & my tasks at hand with so much more effort to have some kind of a chance, to save what was precious to me..save someone else that couldn't rise up on their own. & i blew it somehow. I was told i settled, but that was the point from the beginning that we both agreed upon. I think it was just that the other was getting comfortable with someone around & it scared em..to where they couldn't do all they wanted in life along with dealing with someone else at the same time. Or possibly felt 1 or the other wasnt good enough for the other & felt inadequate or unequiped. And searching for someone else to fill a void they already had at home, thats another thing that befuddles me. The last time I saw him, it didn't look or sound like he cared, avoided eye contact til he drove off & my heart sank even more as I knew it might be the last time I ever saw him. I was too pissed & in the heat of the moment flipped him off til he was out of sight, but after...i wanted to die right then & there but my best friend was there & we were on a deadline just as he was. If I were alone & my friend wasn't there, I'd be sobbing in that parking lot for hours til someone found me.

They, he, had it all but lost it due to their own negligence, in my opinion.

I mean come on whats not to like about me that didn't go hand in hand with what they were searching for.

The perfect heritage to match his (Templin Germany the 7th largest region) with some jew blood, same interests & hobbys, outlook on life, the lucky number, a good & gentle soul with a love for God. Passion for travel, soft spot for bald eagles, the dream of becoming a parent 1 day, intellectually & gamer gifted, both loves BLT sandwiches...because i da snack too 😏, both have the same middle name but spelled differently & 30yr olds with same hs class year, I have 3 hansome brothers & he has 3 beautiful sisters. I mean Dafuq? Lol. We're total opposites & literally residing NE to SW of the country, 1 grew up well the other not so much...yet we still were able to find eachother....somehow? Bro how about u try the other half of the yr here, 6 month equivalent & finish 2020 the right way huh lol BET 😂 oh man. A girl can dream though can't she?

I have a college writing level & training in business, musical theater, massage therapy (which was the fav), veterinary tech college training in hs, 7 years of choir under my belt since 5th grade including after hs in multiple churches & my choir teachers wedding. I Iove animals, likes to paint, great with technology, listen to music & sing along to every word almost exact, family oriented, a gaming & content creating wizard, passion for helping people, can organize & clean the shit out of anything, can be the boss when i feel the need as well as the spunk & charisma to push forward at any given task. I can multitask & can get shit done if I set my mind to it, if there's something or someone I need to feel purpose to be my best self, yea & if I'm accepted, that's purpose enough right there to get my ass moving.

Yea, jumbling alot of shit in my early life made me crack under the pressure but only cuz i really went over the top & burnt out. But ive relaxed alot since then & am treated for my ailments, ive learned to do things to pace myself now to prevent a psychosis from ever happen again.

Ive said this b4, there was 1 other that also broke up with me...1st time it ever happened the other way around mind u, was also a Leo.. shocker lol. After only 3 months & of me saying the L word too quick...it was what finally broke me, what added ontop of everything else. I was living in my own apt since hs & after school a yr later at 19..he lived in the same apt complex & worked where i did. We hit it off really well & loved talking to eachother at work, almost the same humorous & smart personality with a passion for gaming, dead ass great driver, skinny & ample where it counted, & yea also a weed enthusiast 😅 all of it pretty much the same as the recent one in my life. Honestly thinking about it now they probably would've been great friends lol. Thomas was his name, but I was in a relationship at the time of meeting him as well. But I didn't pursue anything til that relationship blew up in my face just cuz my current bf's grandfather was my boss & saw how well Thomas & i got along as friends, associated it with cheating, & that was that. Tom could be mine after all lol, chips fell into place on their own after he professed his feelings to me on his MySpace blog so damn smoothly lol 😂 Saying there was a girl he liked, i commented on it, he asked me out, that was trap lol, but it worked lol. The chemistry was 🔥

But yea, we had alot fun together & he was completely chill with me. But after it ended it set something off in me. Ended up in a psych ward for 2-3 weeks, little did I know he was worried sick & had no idea where i was or how to visit. I wasnt allowed to have my phone but the persons number I knew by heart, was the previous guy b4 tom, the chubby aloof dumbass that was my 1st love lol. Tom hated him with a passion cuz this dude wasn't a man that treated me fairly, pushed onto me by his family for me to take care of, shelter & feed him mooching off of me & taking advantage of a comfortable place to live at 1 point. When i was in the hospital, my 1st was the 1 to pick me up. When I got back from the hospital I learned of how tom was worried & he gave me a big hug. But by that point I was back with the 1st...somehow that happened & I actually don't remember what brought it on cuz my memory throughtout those weeks was dowsed in medication...but Thomas was the one heartbroken instead of me this time cuz he actually did want me back, the fact I took this other guy back over him, a person he despised...was terrible to him & he severed all ties, moved away. He broke up with me, technically it was okay as so i thought to see someone else regardless if it was an ex or not. i didn't know I had another chance at all.

But anyway, the difference between the 2 leo Ts, 1 let me in completely, cared about me as much as i did for him in same way & the L word too soon is what did it in for him after 3 months 🤷‍♀️ The other T well..unfortunately 1 sided for the most part despite how well we clicked, i was faithful & the other tried not to be after 3 months & hid things due to his own insecurities, pulling me along for another 3months when I didn't have to do jack for him at all after that point, but I did. I might've said the L word too soon with him as well idk. But because I'm a different person than I was then, there's no psychotic break...its just the depressed feeling of defeat with the mix of the longing i still have for him.

Wtf is it with T names & the number 3!? ffs! 😫 Briana Leigh Templin BLT, Bri Loves...whoever Tfuk 🤣

I cant write anymore today, I gotta leave tomorrow. My brother wants me to work for him instead & make more money, in a team that would be like in an office space, basically an assistant but making calls & checking in with clients within his real estate, solar, etc businesses.

But idk, I just got my foot in the door with something else. If I let go of that, for something that could or could not be bad for me, then what do I do? Neither of them sound any less stressful, bryans idea however earns more money & would have me dealing with stuff I like to do in regards to skills maybe? Idk man, idk. It'd a tough call.

My point in writing this, nothing accept to show how much I thought he was perfect for me, just as he originally thought about me. These are all thoughts going through my mind, get them out of my head. To talk openly the way I am, its therapeutic. But I miss him so damn much, not sure when this feeling will go away. I still love him & even dare I say trust him,even through his lying ass faults & idk why, i shouldn't but i do...thats the powerful effect he had on me. Still waiting on the last promise to be friends, im giving space, venting here instead of to him cuz i wouldn't want to be that much of an annoyance. I was going to include more but it'd be dark & negative,& im not about outing the worst in people especially if he was a good guy for the most part...no that wouldn't be right, probably deserves it to be honest..but no. I still wanna do right by him. That's all for now

[valleyofthefae]

ALL THE MOUNTAIN ASKS MAC 💕💝💕💗💓💞💗💖💓💞💞🤙🏽

AHHH OK !!!! 💘💕💕💕💕💕💕💘💘💗💗THANK UUUU (i honestly love when u do this !!! it’s fun answering the questions && stuff 💘🌸🌟)

•moon: what is your astrological sign?Aquarius :) •gingerbread: your moral alignmenttrue neutral 🤔•birdseed: family or friends? friends tbh•sheets: your sexual orientationno ideaaaa •warm milk: when do you usually fall asleep?now i fall asleep around/before 10 (sometimes, not always) but usally 11-12 :)•pot of honey: your gender identityfemale •snow: what is your favorite time of year and why?Fall && halloween & hoodie weather !! •yarn: what are your most enjoyable hobbies?I’m not sure 🤔•bicycle: what are you talented at?i can kinda sing •folktale: what stories remind you of your childhood?Hm, this one book called Skeleton Hiccups :)•woods: where do you feel at peace?In my room @ night sometimes :)•chicken feet: what is your emotional “flaw”?hmmm,,, i dont show my emotions in a very good way/or deal with them in a good way •red cheeks: what makes you nervous?Everything (but in all seriousness, talking in front of the class and having people idk talk to me, etc) •sunflower: what do you love and cherish?My budddiessss && my dog :) •bells: what sounds are your favorite or calm you the most?Pianos & the sounds of chimes •turnip: what is a food you could eat everyday?Apples tbh•spit: do you get jealous easily?Heck yeah i do •mushroom: list unique things you like about yourselfummm,,,,,,, i have some freckles on my face that remind me of a paw print and i think it’s p cool (also the only thing that came to mind)•cupboard: a good childhood memoryany memory i have w/ grandpa before he passed away :) •eyebags: what do you think makes a person attractive?Hmm, a good sense of humor tbh (& pretty eyes 👀) & other stuff i cant think of •fallen log: something you’ve gotten over that you never thought you wouldWhen a pal of mine did a thing that i wasnt too happy with, but i eventually got over it :) •dagger: your worst fearMy worst fear is that everyone actually hates me & is like plotting against me or something and eventually will just get sick of me and leave me & the dark •whisper: do you have any secrets?Probably 🤔•wild boar: which person do you feel closest to?u & kt probably :)) •sweet: what candies or cakes are you fond of?Welll, i dont like cake & candy wise i used to like lemonheads :) •footprints: do you remember your past lives?Nopee•fur: name an animal you feel connected toHmm, im not sure ? bats maybe ? •vodka: do you drink?noppeee•sour cherry: an obscure tradition from your family?None that im aware of •pine needles: what is your favorite scent?vanilla, strawberry, & cinnamonheart-shaped: do you believe in love? are you in love?I dont know honestly,, and nope •home: where do you dream of living?Either Salem, MA, or somewhere in England :) •spice: list your favorite herbsidk tbh ? •mud: something you’re insecure about but trying to loveahhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk •tobacco: do you have any addictions?probably, but not drug wise •sock: how would you describe your clothing taste?hm, hoodies + jeans orr like,, vintage (even tho nothing i wear gives off that vibe) •cuckoo clock: are you a morning, a noon, or an evening person?evening 👌🏼•wooden fence: a favorite memoryidk 🤷🏽‍♀️

[acnara]

okay, so I was on ao3 and I think I stumbled on your account on there. Could you tell me about the valour!harry au pretty please? I absolutely LOVED it!

OKAy so im gonna tag @darling-potter bc u know i saw that comment on ao3 (❤) and i thought hey lets combine this and give like. A big chunck of plot away lmao so anyway

• This whole Valour AU thing started when Cursed child came out (me, stating the obvious) because @trippingonflatsurfaces and i just couldn’t wrap our heads around WHY valor. Like, its such a explicitly Gryffindor trait?? It could not be to make the public think of the dark lord a a hero i mean, they were torturing Muggleborns in the freaking castle and had dementors wandering around i dont think JK’s Voldemort was all about that politics life ya know. So why?? Was it like, a mockery of his 2 enemies, both Gryffindors?? But then why not courage (100% identificable no fake gryff trate) or boldness (sounds more of a mockery than valour) was it because it started with V too and Voldemort 36 times champion of acronym competition liked the sick aesthetic???

• well you get the idea we where half making fun of the idea half actually trying to understand why Voldemort would allow people to say his name and why pair it with Valour of all things like one would think he would go for something more like himself

• and then, like the true shipping trash i am, the unverse forces that rule the harrymort ship descended on me and gave me The Idea

• why would Voldemort, who has spend YEARS making sure his name was feared as a way to impose fear and respect suddenly let other people just say it like it meant nothing. Like, not even Lord Voldemort Day or anything, and as Chelle put it, why not my lord or the Dark Lord WHEN IN THE BOOKS HE IS REFERRED AS SUCH 987661% OF THE TIME?

• well maybe

•MAYBE

• he is not the only dark lord.

• maybe ppl cant just say “my lord” or “the dark lord” or “you know who” anymore and actually know WHO they are talking about

• and if there was another dark lord and people went around saying “for Voldemort and Valour"  and not something like "for Voldemort and THE Valour”

•hey maybe there was something there

• maybe they needed no “the” bc Valour was not a trait, but a person

• Valour. Such a gryff name beautiful

• and which gryff bitch do all of us shippers love but would also have chances at surviving Voldemort’s rein??

• well no other than fan fave Harry *well shit u my horcrux???? U cant die now* Potter.

• and guess who is supposedly death since the Battle of Hogwarts, when he realized he was a horcrux?? Well harry potter

• so the thing was: what if harry is still alive? And what if he was the other half of the saying, lord Valour???

• at this point chelle and i were fangirling already bc it fit so well with the narrative of curse child??? As in it made no fucking sense but it /could/ if you believed enough. And boi did we (do we) believe

• anyway we made the back story, as in, everything that happened before the lord Valour persona was like “created”. I’ll sare with you both common and personal headcanons bc i like talking and i cant shut up apparently

• so. Cedric diggory kills Neville. That’s cursed child explanation to why Voldemort won. And then, Harry finds out he is a horcrux. He goes to the forest and ya know his friend neville died, murdered buy this guy who used to be nice and friendly till harry beat him in the tournament. And y'all know harry, who would he be if he didn’t think every single murder in this series is his fault in some way??? So maybe he goes to the forest feeling less numb and conceal dont feel dont let him know and more of a mess.

• and in true every harrymort fic ever written Voldemort finds out harry his horcrux that night via mind reading or something

• next thing you know harry is a dungeon been tortured bc keep him alive is not the same as keep him unharmed while everyone in the world knows it. No dead HP folks, just he being tortured to insanity.

•and you know somewhere in between the torture and the taking over the world and the harry trying to remain as sane as he can chelle’s fave trop comes to play: good old lima/Stockholm syndromes

• Bc you cant spell canon based harrymort without a lil bit of these two.

• so bam there u go they want/love each other  (i tried to kinda hint this in the fic but I’m not sure if i succeeded?? Voldemort’s whole i did not like him but boi do i like him no w)

•and anyway yes that is the background for the fic. Eventually they reach a point were Voldemort wants ppl to respect harry (he is mine anything mine fucking perfect blah blah we have all read this paring before) and lord Valour happens, bc harry is pretty badass on his own

•Wait did u forget about harry being tortured till insanity well u shouldnt have thats ehat is gonna give us a plot for everything after my lil fic lol

• so Scorpius. As a lil background in what imagined he would be in the cc world he would be an asshole. He also flirts with Valour/harry bc he doesnt know better. Hint at why Voldemort doesnt like him

its a type of harry vs bella but low key bc its just irritating that the little shit would really think he has A Chance. Verry. Irritating. Harry plays the Scopius has a crush card often he finds it hilarious

• anyway this new scorpius acts weird time travel etc. Harry investigates and he opens a portal between the two worlds following scorpius. And badumm tss harry finds out the other harry

•this harrys life is boring. Married to ginny go figure. Auror. No parseltongue. Boring, lord Valours life is way more interesting tbh

•some plot was gonna happen amd then woah wait this harry has something he does not. This harry has kids.

• so u see where a lil insane harry is going right

• ITS CHILD KIDDNAPING TIME THEY ARE ALM MINE NOW SUCK IT BELLA U HAVE DELPHI??? I HAVE 3 KIDS BITCH.

• Voldemort would ended up finding out of course. He is not very into the kids, but shit what??? Harry married the read head???? Does he have to kill her in every fucking dimension to keep her away from what is his???? Yeah harry you can keep your new pets of you like i guess

• Just yeah. Very plotty okay this are like random details and scenes bc harry and ginny would want to save the kids and dimension bs everywhere but yeah the idea was a bit of a war between the two worlds and everything kind of Dead Man’s Tale just not at all lmao

• anyway we wanted to do lots of things and you are totally welcome to join i love this au

[loveaningenue]

Taylor Swift’s 2005-2006 MySpace Comments

Taylor’s alleged MySpace comments in a chronological order from 2005 to 2006. (Time of posts on 24h). Pictures of the comments were too blurry, so I didn’t add, but if needed, I have them saved in a file if anyone needs proof. 

NB: All the comments are replies to unknown posts by her friends, so the context is unknown. 

Sep 3, 2005 13:08

I am obsessed with you.

If you look out your window and down the street about 200 yards, you may see a big white van parked on the street. I am inside the van with a telescope and computer. Just trying to catch a glimpse of kelsey dammmnnn morris.

haha. end of story.

Sep 5, 2005 1:37

AWWWW brittany I miss you so much. And yes, I can verify that you do know every word to that song. I love you for it. :-) . Prom was incredible and thankyou so much for everything you’re ever done in the past to make me feel welcome into that whole group. You have always been so nice to me. Thankyou for everything. You may not have noticed but it really meant a lot to me. 

Sep 6, 2005 3:26

LACEY LACEY LACEY

I’m in love with you.

There’s no other way around it.

hehe

Sep 10, 2005 2:01

Pretty girl.

I could away twenty and knock on your door and ask you how you’ve been...

But I think I’ll just sit here and type it. Tell me how you’ve been, child. taylor

Sep 11, 2005 21:09

I have the same name as your boyfriend.

Therefore I am better than everyone and you should like me more.

taylor

Sep 14, 2005 20:43

HOMECOMINGQUEENHOMECOMINGQUEENHOMECOMINGQUEENHOMECOMINGQUEEN

{haha i love you and your pretty crown}

taylor

Sep 18, 2005 11:56

Kelsey’s awesome. And got best smile. And should have gotten everything else. Hahah iloveyou

Sep 17, 2005 11:30

uhhh..

“I shot some guy with a flare gun” -sahara

best line ever.

Sep 21, 2005 23:26

WE NEED ONE MORE SCANTRON

Sep 30, 2005 17:06

I have one word for you.

Chorttle.

{bitch}

Oct 11, 2005 23:13

Everybody watch Kelsey’s scrolling pictures of her friends until you get the one of shelby.

Her boobs look AMAZING.

hahahahahahaha

Oct 18, 2006 16:36

RELINQUISH THIS TOME FOOLERY YOU ELFISH KNAVE.

- a prime example of the shit we OUGHT to learn in English class.

Oct 31 2005 8:12

i read your complaining comment about how your not abigails tip 8. well, how could you be? I’M THERE. TAKING YOUR SPOT HAHAhAHAHA. (evil laugh, you know the drill). Well, anyway, listen my queer fellow. I thinketh we shall hangeth out sometime soon, eh? yes, i do believe i am growing fond of this idea. drive over in your sex van and come pick me up. farewell knave. -T-

Nov 6, 2005 0:03

If you were a guy I’d probably date you.

Just a friendly reminder

<3

Nov 26, 2005 17:54

My darling.

18 days till I get my license and  I think we’ll gave to go out in the hummer and shoot people we hate with a paintball gun out the passenger side window.

Abigail and I have been planning this for a while.

You should totally come.

We hear you have good aim.

lovelovelove -T-

Nov 26, 2005 21:50

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

{i like your headline}

and yes, I do.

lovelovelove -T-

Dec 4, 2005 22:07

Here’s a little limerick for you to solve while I waste my life away on the couch with a godforsaken migraine that is threatening my life eating ice cream out of the gallon container watching war of worlds wondering why I was fat as a 10-year-old and not cute like dakota fanning and thinking, “hey, this wouldn’t’t be so bad, everything getting blown to shit and half the world dying.. Life pretty much sucks anyway.”

I don’t want what I can get.

I fuck up what i had so i shouldn’t want it

I want what doesn’t want me Therefore I can’t get it Therefore I can’t be happy Therefore I sit in class writing notes t my equally psychotic redheaded best friend about how to achieve ultimate happiness when honestly we’re just dreamers because no one is ever permanently happy.

I have blonde hair and my name rhymes with sailor.

What am I?

Oh, fuck. It’s me.

Have an equally joyous night fa la la i love christmas

-T-

Dec 16, 2005 2:59

I’m Grant Motherfucking Wood.

I do what I want

and say the word “durr”.

iloveyoubutnotsomuchgrantwood hehehe -T-

Dec 21, 2005 0:17

I’m in England and this whole country is weird.

They’re all weird. Except for me. Who, as you know, is completely normal. 

Hey man we need to hang out when I get back. How about we combine me, my car, grant wood’s house, shelby, ally, some boys, lily and perhaps whitley, some drinks because you might get thirsty, and new year’s eve.

yeeeaahhhhhh

-T-

Dec 28, 2005 14:57

Just a little reminder to you that, even though the semester may be over..

I’m still quite obsessed with you.

haha fuck sewing machines.

lovelovelove -T-

Dec 28, 2005 

WOW I LOVE YOUR PICTURES

( i haven’t been on here in a while and technology alone fascinates me)

Hey I love you and now I know exactly where your house is, and also that Grant Wood plays guitar? Yes, he does. 

Why?

Because he’s Grant Motherfucking Wood, That’s why.

We’re hanging out New Years and I’m driving the Hummer and it will be amazing.

-T-

PS: Hi, Kelsey’s mom!

Dec 29, 2005 2:44

Lil’ Kels.

hahahhaha

I looove love love your new pictures. You are pretty, 

You’re right.. you better watch out.

Because I do what I want.

-T-

Jan 4, 2006 22:37

IM ONE OF KELSEYS BEST FRIENDS HA HA HA HA HA HA.

I’m sorry. Now that I said that I’m probably going to get kicked off the list for disorderly conduct or just simply being a loser in a public place such as the internet. 

But just to let you know. That’s pretty freakin awesome. lovelovelove -T-

Jan 8, 2006 8:53

My name is Taylor. I am not clingy. I do not want a boyfriend.

I do not show signs of wanting a boyfriend.

I do not make hints leading on to the fact that I may want a boyfriend.

So how, tell me, on EARTH is it possible for someone confuse this issue and IGNORE me because they don’t want a girlfriend.

(%(* ..)%([IOJENTI..OWI$...]WO -T-

Jan 10, 2006 0:30

Umm how about DONT listen to addie.

That’s like the most amusing picture I’ve ever seen.

Take it down?

I think not.

Jan 18, 2006 0:14

JORDAN YOU IDIOT.

The term is quite obviously FEM-bots.

Not THEM-bots..

I don’t know what goes in your clouded mind sometimes..

maybe I’m just too sexy and it distracts you. mmm i think i am correct. -T-

Jan 18, 2006 0:16

Oh P.S.

Boys with your name are not exactly as great as you.

I have had much experience with them lately.

hahaha and their girlfriends get mad ;-)

Feb 4, 2006 21:01

THAT PICTURE OF ME UP AT THE TOP IS GROSS.

THAT IS SICK TAKE IT DOWN.

It serves NO purpose other than to make me look FUGLY.

I want it off NOW.

but i loove you

Feb 5, 2006 8:14

Guess who as a thing for you.

The hottest guy in the world.

Whats the mixture of a tiger and a lion?

A WHORE.

think about it.

Feb 28, 2006 5:30

“I definitely just deep-throated the lollipop.”

Hey little girl.. do you want to know a seeker-ett?

hahaha thanks for helping me with my computer troubles. I know you bend many way for me. i like dat.

Mar 21, 2006 7:54

“Kelsey y dont u just LEAVE US ALONE.

WE R TRYIN 2B HAPPY. OMGGGGGG.”

hahahah. See, I had to write the original message with punctuations and vowels-- but I had to translate into the way SHE would write it.

But she’s not immature. She’s just not fond of correct spelling.

i love you -T-

Apr 5, 2006 7:51

LoL i KnOw!!

ExcLamAtiOn PoIntS aRe THIRD GrAdErS !! !! !!

(also notice this super cool signature I’m going to add in to the ending of this comment)

::sWiFt::

hahahah

Apr 22, 2006 18:39

PUT UP PROM PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!

And as soon as I get my laptop back, I’ll be leaving you a certain picture that I think you’ll like.

Because a certain girl might see it. lovelovelove -T-

Apr 23, 2006 14:19

(Picture)

(Picture)

(Picture)

(This is you quite obviously staring at my boobs)

Apr 24, 2006 17:56

Lyrics we live by:

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time I want what’s your and I want what’s mine

I want YOU, but I’m not giving  giving in this time.

haha i love you you’re really pretty. -T-

Apr 30, 2006 19:33

Kelsey.

I love you and I’m sorry about all the “distance”.

Distance = stupid and unnecessary.

Dude. The truth us, i miss you. Starbucks tomorrow? 

May 2, 2006 22:10

Yeah, I remember I have that photoshoot today and tomorrow. Well, its good to know I was missed. haha. Speaking of missed, I really wish you didn’t work so much because I wanted to hang out today.

lovelovelove -T-

Call me.

May 27, 2006 1:44

Dude.

The scrolling picture of your car is mad cool mannnnnn.

sweeeeet.

I stared at it for like an hour. hahaha

no really. the sad thing is, I did.

Jun 9, 2006 20:30

I CANT FIND MY PHONE.

errrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Kelsey. My lovely best friend. YOU CAME TO MY SHOWWWWWW! I didn’t know if you or ally actually came or not because I didn’t see you, thank you so much for coming. That means the world to me, you know that. I love you.

lovelovelove -T-

Jun 19, 2006 10:52

I MISS YOU AND I WANT TO SEE YOU.

I leave again tonight for north carolina but i wont be gone as long this time, and I want my best friendddd backkkkk.

I love you and ally.

lovelovelove

-T-

Jul 31, 2006 19:24

You know you’ve been away too long when your best friend doesn’t have any trace of you on her myspace anymore. Kelsey. I missss you.

I’m going over to Ally’s house tonight and if you’re not there I’m going to walk over to your house and abduct you. 

lovelovelove -T-

Here’s a LINK to the pictures of the alleged MySpace comments. 

BONUS:

[surveymeupmate]

Survey w/ ella

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? e- no. not yet. no, dont put that 

k- defo not 

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? e- idk

k- in some ways 

Do you like someone? e- yes 

k- sadly

Is a best friend pissing you off right now? e- no, i luv em

k- no

Are you happier now or three months ago? e- probably now but only a tiny bit more 

k- defo three months ago lmao 

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? e- saw jack, it was good, it was nice 

k- ...

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? e- never

k- dead

Are you waiting for something? e- probably yeh

k- exams to be finished 

If you could change your eye color would you? e- nah i dont suit any others 

k- the ones that are like two colours or a brighter green 

What was the weather like today? e- shit

k- the usual 

Do you think you’ll be married in ten years? e- fuck knows 

k- hopefully not

Does your ex still love/like you? e- no

k- hahahahahahahahahah

Are you stubborn? e- yes 

k- depends

Do you tend to hold a grudge? e- depends, i can do 

k- depends 

Where were you at 9am this morning? e- in bed, not my bed but a bed 

k- same but my bed 

How has the week been? e- good? yeh, good.  a bad start but finished off great 

k- a rollercoaster 

Did you go out or stay in last night? e- went out, well i stayed in but not in mine

k- both

Something you do a lot? e- complain 

k- overthink

How many states have you lived in? e- 0

k- none

Can you commit to one person? e- yeh

k- not at the moment 

Who was the last person to hold your hand? e- jack 

k- tom :////

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? e- depends, like i dont have a specific 3 strikes and ur out 

k- same

Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in 10 years? e- i hope so

k- same 

What do you miss most about your ex? e- nothing cos we’re besties 

k- im not getting into this rn 

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? e- yeh

k- nope 

What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? e- he loves oasis n he’s cute 

k- hes a dick

Something you really want right now? e-  *sexual thoughts* 

k- emotional stability 

e- yeah that would be nice as well

How long have you liked the person you like? e- a month but ive mega liked him for the past few weeks 

k- proper liked him since the 6th of may

Does any part of your body hurt right now? e- my side a tiny bit but not rly... actually i have a headache now i think about it

k- my throat 

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? e- yeh i think everyone saw me 

k- no 

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? e- yeh now 

k- same 

Are you happy with the way things are going? e- some of them 

k- not at all i want to die™

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? e- maybe 

k- hopefully not 

What plans do you have for tomorrow? e- dying and also being dead

k- same 

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn’t? e- *shakes head*

k- idk man 

Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? e- urm no

k- not my all but a bit

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? e- yeh only a few times, many times

k- yeah 

Do you and your last ex hate each other? e- no

k- no but we should 

When was the last time you were sick? e- like a week ago

k- maybe soon 

Are you one of those people who are always cold? e- no

k- yes 

Do you tend to waste a lot of money?

e-  probably

k- yes

Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

e- nooooo? 

k- yes 

When was the last time you got a haircut? e- a month or two ago

k- a while ago

Did you sing at all today? e- yeh 

k- yeh 

Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? e- the weather cos i dont drive 

k- same 

Do you own any articles of clothing with skulls on it? e- noo?

k- i think i might ?

Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? e- typing, but it has to be a laptop

k- texting

If you won a trip to a nude beach would you go or give the trip away? e- give it away 

k- depends

In your opinion which is the stronger emotion: love or hate? e- fuck knows 

k- emotions are not real, simply chemicals to help us survive 

Tongue piercings - cute or trashy? e- neither, im not arsed 

k- idk man 

When it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? e- skinny

k- same 

Would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? e- i want to say break dancer because they are cooler but being a ballerina is peng so in conclusion neither 

k- break dancer 

When it comes to Baseball would you rather be on the field or in the stands? e- in the stands

k- i rly dont give a shit about baseball tbh

I’ve got to know, who do you prefer: Mario or Luigi? e- Luigi, no mario, actually neither *goes on the name all the characters in the franchise*

k- idk man 

Have you ever changed clothes in a public area (not a dressing room)? e- probaly, yeh like on the beach 

k- yeh 

How many months apart is your birthday from your best friends? e- 4 and 1 

k- 4 

Yes or no: Techno music?

e- neither can it depends 

k- idk 

Yes or no: pigtails?

e- sometimes 

k- sure

They say diamonds are a girls best friend; what do you say? e- do they?

k- a lot of things 

Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? e- well yeh

k- yeh

Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? e- no 

k- i dont think so 

If you were famous do you think you could handle the popularity? e- i could but id get sick of the paparazzi 

k- maybe idk 

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a letter P? e- no

k- i dont think so 

Did you talk to one of your best friends today? What did you talk about? e- yeh loads 

k- shes legit in front of me rn 

Do you get on better with funny or serious people? e- funny

k- depends how im feeling but funny most of the time 

Do you have mood swings around the time of the month? e- yeh but i have them all the time 

k- maybe idk 

Have your friends met the last person you kissed? e- yeh

k- yeh 

How old is your oldest cousin? e- i am the oldest cousin so 17 

k- idk late 20s 

What if you saw your best friend holding hands with your ex? e- id be like katie why are you holding ur own hand lol 

k- i dont think she would tbh

Your last relationship, who dumped who? e- katie dumped me what a dickhead, wait we never actually broke up, katie im breaking up with u 

k- it was mutual, kind of 

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? e- 16

k- 14 i think.

Is your home town nice? e- no, not the town center anyways, its a mess

k- its better than some places i guess 

What if you got stuck in a lift with the last person who Facebook messaged you? e- it would be fun ;)

k- idk man, it would be chill 

When/where did your last hug take place? e- in toms brothers bed this morning, more of a cuddle than a hug 

k- in toms doorway last night 

Do you consider yourself mature enough to make your own decisions? e- yeh

k-obvs 

Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? e- yeh, i know my mums entire life 

k- a little bit

You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? e- dunno katie but obvs not rn 

k- ella probs 

Do you and your friends have any inside jokes? e- yeh

k- yeh 

Do you think someone has feelings for you? Are these feelings returned? e- yes and yes 

k- yes and no

What if the last person you texted were to ask you out? e- idk what this phrase means 

k- i would b like ella what about jack 

Do you believe in love at first sight? Explain. e- no

k- no

Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now? If so, where? And why would you prefer to be there? e- no

k- asleep  cos i love sleep but im happy chilling atm 

When you listen to music, do you ever find that the songs affect your moods and change how you feel? e- can do 

k- a lil bit

Can you remember what you dreamt about last night? e- no

k- i think it was something to do w/ shit that is stressing me out but i cant remember that well

[midwestqueer]

hm.

🤩: what are your crush/partner's eyes like?

theyre always wide open and vulnerable

😍: what is a little unique thing your crush/partner does that makes you go aksjdlslskdj;?

he always does this high pitched voice at work when he says nice things abt me and starts squealing 🥺🥺🥺

😷: would you risk getting a cold to kiss your partner when they're sick?

i mean. probably i am always sick anyway

🤡: tell a funny story that you experienced with your crush/partner (nothing that will embarrass them, fun ones only)

he taught me how he does his stupid loud deep voice when he calls out drinks ajdkwndkdm

😇: are you the angel bf or the demon bf?

herm. dont like this question shdksndkd

🤔: what's an interesting fact you've recently learned?

being bisexual is actually the quality of being both morosexual and sapiosexual at the same time

😴: what position do you usually sleep in?

side/stomach

💀: if you could flirt with death like you can in the sims, would you?

considering i flirt with anything that moves?

🤴: simple golden crown, intricate glittering crystal tiara, or handmade wildflower crown?

im a classics major give me my golden laurel wreath crown

🧟‍♂️: weapon of choice in a zombie apocalypse

the sexy spiky baseball bat

🤗: do you need a hug right now?

oh boy do i!

😈: what piece of media (show, movie, song, book, etc) is your guilty pleasure?

its always sunny in philadelphia ahdownd

😻: what animal would you and your partner love to have as an adopted child?

i think hes a dog person im not sure but u best believe i wont settle for one or the other when it comes to cats and dogs

👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨: favorite queer couple in media?

i rly dont think i know any offhand ajdksnfn...... ah. bill and ted

👬: what would you and your crush/partner's ship name be?

uh mine and my husbands @lovvw would obviously be ashisi cant publicly say my crushes name on tumblr it makes it too real

🤙: on a scale of 0 to 100, how cool is your crush/partner?

like a 2 ahrkwndkdm hes a nerdy goof 🥺

🤟: what music genre would you and your partner each be? what would you be together?

me: indie

him: man idk he loves everything but hes probably be like. rnb inspired bedroom pop?

together: oh mitski

✌: arizona, brisk, nestea or peace tea?

peace tea snoberry 🥵

😌: what would be the most relaxing thing for you right now?

sleeping and dropping out of my summer classes ahdjshdksndksnf

😎: glasses, sunglasses, flip-up shades or transition lenses?

glasses. fuck anything else

😊: what's something your crush/partner's done recently that gave you the honey glow somethin awful?

me: tells him abt this essay i wrote recently

him, word for word: well id love to read that if youd send it to me

me: 🥺🤧💕💕🤧🤧🥺🤧💕💕🥺

🐛: favorite green character?

SNUFKINNNNN

🐌: check the clock. is it snail time?

its slug time babey

🐝: what flower would you love to get all up into if you were a bee?

hydrangeas is always my go to

🐞: polka dots, pinstripes, houndstooth, plaid/tartan, or checker pattern?

plaiddddddd but pinstripe has been growin on me

🕷: what radioactive animal would you want to get bitten by and subsequently gain the powers of?

beastboy from teen titans AHDKSHDKDMC 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

🏳️‍🌈: what's your favorite piece of pride merch? (alt: what piece of pride merch would you love to have?)

my fuckin keith haring shirt i bought recently

🦄: unicorn, centaur, stayr or minotaur?

SATYRRRR

Now answer the rest of them asshole

bro... really. really. i have to work in 6 hours

[swearronchanel]

As per request, 2.05

You guys have been so freaking sweet and kind  to me with your feedback since I started making these ridiculous posts, it’s insane but I love it!❣️ I literally started these as a joke because my one friend who watches call the midwife didn’t pick up the phone (and bc I was under the influence whoops hahaha it happens) but now I have so much fun posting every week! I’m sure I won’t stop these any time soon (what will I do when this series is over until Christmas? Yikes lets not talk about it yet)  Anyways @marialujan22 requested I rewatch and post for 2x5 & shit it’s been a while since I’ve watched series 2 but I couldn’t say no! Besides Im in a good mood because I have 10 days till spring break & only like 8 weeks left in the semester so here we go ..

idk if I’m mentally prepared for this

THE BIKE SONG I LOVE IT

“Somewhere far away, scientist we’re working on a magic pill, rumored to make pregnancy a case of choice..” Hell yea birth control, deff a magic pill in my opinion

Crazy that it took 3 series for the pill to become a thing & then there was still lame ass government guidelines

Jenny Lee! lol I often forget about her sorry not sorry, I liked her but she left. ya no importa

I love how “mature jenny” still narrates even though her character is never even mentioned anymore #letmenarrate lol jk I like Vanessa Redgrave’s voice

“Meanwhile other scientists were trying to send humans to the moon” fuck yea Hidden Figures

If CtM went up until 1969 that’d be lit, like the episode on mad men when they watched the moon landing! Just replace them with nuns and nurses and babies & replace the liquor for tea 😂

Shit I’ve said typed so much already

SISTER MJ💕 I wanna smack myself she’s brushing her teeth & I thought of that stupid toothbrush song from last week’s episode kill me

Nora’s pregnant again uh oh

Cynthia! SISTER E! Jane! It’s been so long

My bby Trixie 💕😍 I miss her pin curls! But now she’s serving those 60s looks so I’m here for it all

“Take that off this minute before you go to hell” LMAO TRIX YOU CANT TELL KIDS THAT

lol who am I kidding I would’ve said the same

I love sister Monica Joan, id quote everything she ever says but that’s too much work

Vicar’s wife? But who was the vicar?

LMAO WAIT DOESNT SISTER MJ FAKE A HEART ATTACK??

YES SHE DID IM DEAD I LOVE HER, WELL IT WAS LIKE ANGINA BUT IDC STILL FUNNY CAUSE SHE DIDNT WANNA GO

PRECIOUS SISTER BERNADETTE 😭💕

I STILL CANT BELIEVE MY BBY SHELAGH WAS A NUN, ITS SO STRANGE TO GO BACK AND SEE HER IN THE HABIT, LIKE YOURE PREGNANT NOW, WITH DR TURNERS BABYYY!!

anyone else really wanted to know how she was going to tell Sister Julienne “um i was already done with being a nun and now im love sick, I can’t stop thinking about Dr Turner so  I gotta ditch this habit”

damn I feel so bad like she did not want another baby & had no choice but to deal with it

No Jenny, tea is not gonna help right now

And heres the lady that scammed her

How much is 2 guinnis ? Idk how to spell that u already know I’m an ignorant American

Did she really tell a married woman keep her legs closed? It Doesn’t even matter if she was married or not like who are u anyway?? I would’ve bitch slapped her too, good for u Nora

Sister MJ saying her horoscope was right, we are the same😭

Wtf is spotted dick? Also I laughed because I’m immature Lmaoo

Sister J eating the pudding, she knows how to get to sister MJ 😂 I love them

Trixie teasing Jane about the Reverend lol aw

“I can’t knit I had a heart attack this morning” ME TRYING TO GET OUT OF THINGS

8 kids in one bedroom though yikes

Cute and classic bedroom moments 😭💕

“Naughty version of eggnog” like coquito? Lol nah, coquito is the bomb

IM CRYING SISTER BERNADETTE LOOKING IN THE DOORWAY

THIS BREAKS MY HEART EVERYTIME

THEY FUCKING CLOSED THE DOOR ON HER, MY BBY. I WANT TO HUG HER 💔💔💔 she deserves the world

Who is this irrelevant ass vicars wife? “Cherrio”

I’m so sorry Nora

Ew wtf a rat just bit the baby?

“Just tell me what you want sister” SHE WANTS YOU DOCTOR

THE WAY THEYRE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER OMG IM SHOOK

WHAT THE HELL TIM WHY DID YOU RUIN THE MOMENT ?!

sister MJ wants to roll bandages, make it happen! lol I love that Cynthia and Jane unwrap them all for her 😭

Aww i love babies !! but that one with a funny nose uhh

SISTER BERNADETTE BLOWING THE WHISTLE AND CHEERING 💕 MY HEART SHE IS SO ADORABLE

Aw I wish Trixie could have another scene going through old pictures and maybe share old stories with the new nurses💔 unlikely but you know I can hope. SHE DID HAVE THAT PHOTO OF HER AND CYNTHIA ON HER MIRROR LAST SUNDAY💕

“I’m a woman on a mission” beatrix, light in my life

Curly locks lol, when I was younger I  was called Shirley temple and when I dyed my hair I was called Goldie locks.. mind u that lasted into high school 😂 I’m staying blonde for good though, I don’t think I can pull off anything else

DONT GO OUT WITH HIM TRIXIE, HE’S TRASH

Laura Main’s angelic voice ✨👼🏼

who am I kidding she’s an angel

you know what would be fun and a dream? to go out with the ctm cast and get drunk and take trashy snapchat videos singing

Gin & a hot bath??

Trixie looked him up lol, good move

BUT HE’S STILL TRASH and an asshole

Pickle knife ?

again, this irrelevant vicar’s wife? vete ya

Everyone thinks Sister MJ is senile but she knows what’s up with Sister Bernadette..

“..but is all blank sadness and continued tears”  MY HEART💔 sister Bernadette/Shelagh has spent the majority of this show crying/being sad/distressed ugh!! Laura Main plays is beautifully but I CRY!? Let her be uninterruptedly happy please 😭💕

she (and helen) ruined me tbh, I used to have dignity

Is Jenny really naive or is she just pretending not to understand??

SEE SISTER BERNADETTE IS ON SCREEN AGAIN & IS UPSET

“I almost wish I was physically ill..” okay bRb CRYIN. THIS IS WHY I CANT WATCH THESE OLDER EPISODES I CRY TOO MUCH, I DONT LIKE TO SEE HER UNHAPPY

Remember when I started the show and didn’t know it was gonna ruin my life? Or before I grew attached? Yea me neither lmaoo those were the days when I thought downton killed me. I Didn’t know what was coming 😂 still love downton though rip #downtonmoviepls

Knitting needles?? aye dios mio

HA GREMLIN TIM AND JACK

Again how much is a gunniea and how do I spell it? I could google it but I’m busy here

She was willing to sell her wedding ring and risk her life for an unprofessional abortion. DO YOU SEE THE ISSUE? This isn’t just the a period drama either. Shit is real

“Are babies more valued because they can survive or do they survive beside they are more valued?” good question sis

lol Jane was so sweet and just bounced with no word

AT LEAST I KNOW WHERE SHE WENT THOUGH, THANKS FOR THAT NZ CUT SCENE

Trixie being a babe and getting ready to do her nails 😍💕 I wish I could do mine well but I’m trash and so I pay to get them done

The cross cutting in this scene is crazy but so well done (& yes look at me using real terms lol, I took a Music in film class last semester and had to know editing techniques 😂, I did fairly well too)

I really don’t know how she survived this

My bby trixie looking gorgeous as per usual. I love her so much, Helen u kill me

NO COÑFIO TRIXIE, HE’S NO GOOD

Haha why did I not remember the Gone With The Wind reference? Cynthia was so cute, I miss her carefree and happy

FRECO MOVE YOUR DAMN HAND, YOU ARE TRASH.

HE’S FICTIONAL BUT ID STILL FIGHT HIM

my poor bby😭💔 it is not your fault , he’s trash!! But this moment between the nurses warmed my cold heart

“Matrons in charge, virgins of iron” 😭😭

Aw Earth Angel playing, ✨🎼 I highkey pop to 50s/60s pandora stations

Jenny yes it’s illegal but do you think that matters rn??

TIM AS MAID MARION LMAO

Sister Bernadette looking at Dr Turner ah omg 😭they’ve come so far.

It’s not your fault Jenny but you should’ve told someone

Sister B & Tim won 👏🏼

LMAO ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THAT POST “WOAH CALM DOWN IM JUST TRYNA DATE YOUR DAD”

and she’s down, and the glasses flew

“You’ve hurt your hand” “well I’m sure there’s no need to amputate” ah sister b/shelagh lowkey has some of the funniest lines she just slips them in and people miss them !!

Here it comes ..

THE MOMENT..

“Would you like me to have a look at that?” UHM YEA

No but seriously I can barely remember what I thought when I first watched this but I knew something was gonna happen because a nurse can handle her own damn cut & well you know, she was in love with him

HE KISSED HER HAND. A fucking doctor kissed a nuns hand people, how scandalous & this was THE MOMENT I KNEW I WAS CORRUPT AND WAS GOING TO HELL, I AM SATAN I WANTED THE DOCTOR TO KISS A FREAKING NUN ON THE MOUTH LIKE WTF WHO RAISED ME? MY MOTHER WANTED IT TOO SO IDK BUT THIS KILLED ME, LIKE R.I.P HERE LIES GABBY, I WAS IN THE GROUND DECEASED. I’m actual trash. Someone dispose of me in the proper bin #recyle

for real, this is when I really knew that I was never going to love any other show like this and I allowed it to ruin me

BUT HONESTLY WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING? THATS A BOLD MOVE

BOLD IN GENERAL BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW IF SHE LIKES YOU BUT BOLD x1000 BC SHE IS A NUN, YOU KNOW MARRIED TO GOD, VOW OF CHASITY AND ALL THAt??

What if she would’ve freaked tf out or told sister Julienne? I don’t even know. I’ll just be grateful for how things turned out

“At this moment I only know I’m not turning my back on you because of you but I’m doing it because of him” AHHHH, DONT WORRY BBY GOD LOVES U AND UNDERSTANDS YOU LOVE HIM AND THE DOCTOR, LOSE THAT HABIT AND GO PROPERLY KISS PATRICK 😭

Sister MJ judging the baby contest is the purest thing & I need it to cleanse my disgusting soul that wants a dr to get with a nun #notsorrythough

“In Nonnatus we were good at tending other’s wounds and there were times I felt we were all each other’s children..” brb I’m crying I love that they’re like a family 😭💕💔

I’m so happy they didn’t kill Nora and she actually was happy in the end. I really wasn’t sure for a moment (obviously when I first watched lol)

“ Free reliable contraception came too late to help her, but in time the scientists triumphed. Her daughters and granddaughters lives remained transfigured, long after man left fleeting footprints on the moon.” Vanessa always knowing what to say in the end.

Lets see how the pill is going to be reintroduced this series, I’m interested  in how it’s going to play out.

I’ve said that so many times though so I’ll be done

The End.

[bpdkipland]

literally do them all lmao For the strawberry: a lizard person, a little gray alien, an orb, and the Burger King himself For mr horse: ur opinion on the Charmin toilet paper bears

thank you so much anon fuc ily 

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone? 

yikes startin out w a hard one then um when i was a kid i had such a stressful emotional time that it caused me to wet the bed until i was like 12 or 13? it was fuct up 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be? 

probs my crush or my friend jacob bc he gives gr8 hugs ♥♥

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why? 

Lugia bc when i was little i had a card that was all holographic and it had lugia on it. i never really got super into pokemon lol 

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like? 

oh god it would be a mess 

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had? 

honestly the only one coming to mind is the one i had as a kid where this creature opened up its head and ate my sister and im still scared of going outside in the dark to this day bc of it 

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend? 

i have multiple best friends but theyre mostly all there for me whenever i need them? like one time jacob drove from the other side of town to give me earbuds bc i had lost mine 

😘 talk about your crush or partner 

GOD my crush is a literal angel???? like????? hoy fuk i love her so much she’s so sweet and kind and caring and she just radiates light and love and i got to kiss her on new years ♥♥♥♥

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back? 

depends on HOW rude they were. like,... i was nice to my ex for so long lol 

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!) 

i like my nose, freckles, and the fact that im Nice

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it? 

well its being abandoned by everyone i love and guess what thats starting to happen and im coping lmao

🎁 what never fails to make you happy? 

this video

💙 what annoys you about some people? 

if they chew with their fockin mouth open i die 

😤 do you get angry easily? 

nope i actually am pretty slow to anger lol 

🐇 what do you always daydream about? 

do intrusive thoughts of people coming on to me count 

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change? 

well no offense but republicans would be illegal. sent off to an island not allowed to communicate with the rest of the world lol, strawberries would be in season year round, and weed would be legal bc i cant think of anything else 

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry? 

kiss: orb ♥♥befriend: lizard person kill: k i l l t h e b o r g (burger king) marry: gray alien 

✈️ what is your dream city and why? 

ive not been to any good cities so i dont know 

☕️ talk about your ideal day 

hanging out with all my friends, they dont all hate each other, we all watch movies in a big cuddle puddle and im in the middle of it ♥♥

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert? 

definitely an ambivert. 

💧 when was the last time you cried? 

fuck????? i dont remember???? my eyes welled up yesterday does that count 

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment 

in no particular order: 1. Come On Eileen 2. Insomnia (by Dirty Heads) 3. Birdhouse in Your Soul4. Ana Ng5. Moving On (by James)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why? 

pyrokinesis so i can light all abusers on fire lol 

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say? 

Listen, kid, there’s a reason you hate yourself and there’s a reason you wanna die all the time but lemme tell you, it ain’t worth it. those hospital stays aren’t worth it. you might not believe it but you’re over 250 days clean! didn’t think you’d make it this far, huh? you also made it to 18 years of age. you’re gonna be okay, kid. 

💚 who are you jealous of and why? 

myself when i’m in a nice mood bc like??? shut yo nice ass up 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why? 

bravery honestly. i have reasons but i dont have words for the reasons rn 

🙊 what are you ashamed of? 

um that secret i told the fuck

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn? 

i know English and tiny bits of French and i’d love to become fluent in French and Italian? 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be? 

i wanna be best friends with mike wazowski 

☁️ talk about your dream universe. 

???????

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today? 

it’s a bit late but did do some dishes for my mom cleaned off my desk so i could start painting again :> 

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why? 

new c/r/yptid: Lance Cube.

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike 

y’know when ur eyes just start crying when the rest of u is fine?? like wow i didnt know i was supposed to be emotional but ig???? 

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately 

i’m anxious because my doctors office isnt giving my medical records to the michigan works people im working with so they cant open a case for me, making it so they cant help me find a job bc of my mental illnesses 

   🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

 i wanted to be a veterinarian but now i wanna be a zookeeper 

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods? 

i loooove peach rings and sour patch kids and !!!! strawberry shortcake 

🍑 what are you obsessed with? 

animal crossing tbh i love it so much 

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed? 

i get auditory hallucinations and i just start crying no matter what stressed mood im in. angry stressed? crying. happy stressed? crying. anxious stressed? crying 

😪 what are you sick of? 

having kidney disease??? ?

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker? 

i mean? sometimes? but yall gotta talk me into going on roller coasters 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have? 

red beet eggs are my LIFE if i could eat them daily i would die, peppers are fucking gross, and tea is fucking gross unless its Tea 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person? 

i like to think i am a good person? 

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies? 

draw & sing!!!! 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself? 

You Ain’t No Saint by Aaron West and The Roaring Twenties 

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

I’m annoying. I plan on improving it by shutting my ass up 

 🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

i draw people and eyes mainly. and the occasional hand 

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams? 

i’m too shy and bisexual for this 

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you? 

fuck i dont remember i just know i have the same one as Fox Mulder and thats why it fits me lmao

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite! 

...u didnt give me 3 ppl.... 

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why? 

mothman because he’s my boyfriend 

🐴 opinion on __? (Charmin Toilet Paper Bears) 

they wipe my ass for me 

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person? 

i used to be. now im not so sure. 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them. 

yall i’ve only read 3 books 

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i usually mope around and sleep a lot. it doesnt help usually. 

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad? 

Death Anxiety 

🌍 which country do you live in? 

USA! 

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words 

needy, petty, and damaged 

🐵 which quotes changed you? 

“What’s your Fursona” - @thebpdevil“Your job is to break death’s heart” 

💭 do you keep a diary? 

I keep a bullet journal!! i think thats kinda similar 

💫 who inspires you? 

honestly my dad??? but also idk :/ 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why? 

hell YES because i am one

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like? 

department store clearance section & band merch 

🎬 what are some of your favourite films? 

Heathers, Taken, Girl Interrupted, and if u watch the OA in one shot it counts as a movie i’m counting it 

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory? 

Throwing mashed potatoes at my sister. 

🐱 what’s your dream pet like? 

Cat snake (ferret) who loves to cuddle and doesnt bite :-) 

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be? 

probably???? um???? Patrick Stump or Pete Wentz honestly. 

HOO THIS WAS FUN AND IT TOOK OVER AN HOUR TO DO THANK YOU 

[misterbitches]

Im not intelligent at all. In the conventional sense. The ramblings of a girl who just has sooo much going in in her head it's constant. But im not a genius. Or that confusing.

It just sounds like I am bc fandoms have this issue where they can JUSTSO point out the issues in soletiing. They can pick and prod and go oh problematic! But then you go to name the problems and the difficulties within society like for ex: the idea of representation in general. Salivating over it. How fucking sad that is. How we are trained to accept it. So in a BL and also RACE in the bl genre they exploit viewers naivete both domestically and internationally. Ive seen tons of people liken being asian to being a person of color. However, in their predominantly homogenous society (or intentionally publically homogenous society), they are not "poc" (also name the of color; i dont use bipoc idc if u do but it's called being asian guys cos yall aint talkin about black ppl lmao)

They as humans seeing other humans who look like them everywhere, engage with the world differently than an american in asia or asians living outside of their home country (like bae doo nanwhen she worksnin the US is not the same as the bae doo nanworking on a korean program) I dont complain about it in everything i see bc ppl say it ALL THE TIME. but it is NOT the same. Being a person of color is very distinctly an american concept. This is all stuff people will get to know on their own if they choose to dig more.

I do my best to underline what my ugly little eyes process. How i figure things out as a black female american artist too! Im hard on shit cos i should be. I take it seriously. And even if i dont take it seriously bc THEY dont then thats their problem.

I know this is a complaint that I am not alone in. I know it's the internet. I just don't get how people can write really heavy analysis but they refuse to actually probe the underlying issues. Not everyone is me, or like my friends, but if there's way fewer people talking about this stuff it seems absolutely glaring when theres few people engaging in the way i do. It seems like im the glitch but I am thinking just as much just differently.

I really loved where your eyes linger but there was little deep class analysis. I remember few convos a bout it. I know a lot about korea (sigh being a black ex kpop fan lol mess) and i love the history but all ofnit matters! Korea's relation to labor!

People bringing up thai actors snd actresses leaving the industry and doing acting as something quick. As an artist~ who went to film school with insanely wealthy ppl and isnin tons of debt you have to understand how shitty that is. People have monetary access and they just fucking do whatever just because they want to. Meanwhile you have young people being coerced into this bullshit mainstream life to LITERALY just make money bc they dont come from a rich background. The wealth gap in thailand is BAD, theres a dictatorship, they had a fucking coup. The governments like here do not respect their people. Their marginalized groups. Trans thai women, black thai ppl, poor thai ppl. And it LITERALLY CANNOT DO ANYTHING EFFECTIVELY IN CAPITALISM. No nothing can be perfect but if it's going into our eyeballs and we can view the worlld critically then why the fuck not!???

I dont say the things i see are wrong always. I reply when i think i need to. I try and engage with others but not to kuch avail. I just want to rb stuff and tdhink lajfhhdjwhjej.

But like yea theres a lot of just wrong or misguided stuff. A lot of the times it is just historical inaccuracy in framing or idk. A refusal to think outside the box. I dont care. Theres more to life than just sort of looking and not thinking especially for othrr artists.

Idk im sorry. I dont see how i can change how i view things. I really wish people would expand their palettes too and go deeper into other means of art from places! Things not in the mainstream! Theres a lot of good thai artists and a lot of them critical as fuck about their country as they should be. Authority, austerity, patriarchy, capital, racism etc like that is central to a power thats interested in growing gains and fiscal and social power. Theres rly radical or left leaning etc ppl out there in the world and these countries in these communities. So they exist. No people in these countries dont have NO clue whats going on. Cultural relativism is alsos something people should understand. I had a good talk with ppl on here a while ago about that. Talking about shit, critiquing, but being respectful to a group. Part of thay is realizing these groups CLEARLY know their own issues and all our cultures share the same goal. Guess what it is. It rhymes with acquiring wealth. Money means you hurt people. In the post, we talked about use of "wife" and "husband" which is a stupid joke that has been "explained" a billion times and yet the explanations still dont seem to answer or justify a minor problem (it's very funny to me that a language that doesnt have gendered pronouns is now very specific about two men. Hmmm wonder why. It is annoying.)

So im not the only person on the planet doing this. Or the few ppl ive seen that do. Im not new my thoughts arent new. Ive gotten to see another side to a culture i knew not much about and that means i can put the context of my beliefs and life and try and understand thheirs. For ex i learned from ITSAY because of a sign that said 'french food' that they were the only country to not be colonized back then. Do you know how integral that history is to their region? That was an interesting detail (i didnt finish itsay bc ihad a lot going on and i was rly upset that i would see hownrich they are and i hate that.)

Anyways thats my complaint. It used to feel like a sting of rejection. I left online for months in 2019, i started organizing more, joined a union, trying to do some panther work shit like that. I learned a lot in those months and it changed my life! But when I came back, I felt so isolated. It wasnt my true friends tho sometimes theyre ANNOYINGGGGG (love u) but it was me being like "if we are going to complain guys then lets put our money where our mouth is" lets be fucking serious about it then. No say it with your chest dude. It isnt difficult. Go with the fucking flow, talk about it, critique it, think. You can still fucking like itnor love it.

I am BLACK ok and i love rap. I am a black woman. I will continue to clown black men that cant seem to not clown themselves and listen. No i wont support monetarily: drake is a creep and i hate him but i bump that niggas song. Thats fucking LIFE. I got so sick of hiding myself and it became clear that it wasnt that i wasntthinking well or hard enough. They just didnt like that i said we need to commit class suicide and inspect out middle class sensibilities and middle class wealth hoarding (google it) if thats what we engaged with. Every part of you, antagonize it. I still have my privileges; class, skin color, even my father being a nigerian immigrant, me being cis, im not str8 but not a lesbian and those are differences.

Insecurities in general but some shallow thoughts (?) on discussion in "fandom" space. FYI, this will most likely stay the same. I tend to stay in my own bubble socially IE me and my friends are similar in our views. During this awful year while running my union's account, im surrounded by like minds. Me and my friends? We changed together. We grew up and saw what we didnt like and what we want. We do our best.And i CHOOSE my life to be that way bc it should be. There is no solution. I dont believe in solutions because the solution is to abolish capital or just divest. Abolishing capital and labor are a huge one and i will die before that happens (but so help me as long as im alive? Black women to FREEDOMMMM is my motto!) so making your own path in life is the best thing an artist can do IN MY OPINION.

However with technology and stuff this puts another layer onto things. Tech, social media, this shit....it THRIIIIIIIVESSSSSSS off of conflict and shallow readings of the world. We are literally primed for it. Engagement in bites. Impossible for me with my brain; i got used to it and i paid for it by limiting my scope. Not being encouraged to THINK AND READ before just speaking

(For ex i am in iww, i helped form a branch here. It is a radical union. Unionism is imprative to me-if ur interested u should read up on some. Look up peter cole! Google inthesetimes Ilwu. Gives you some understanding. Ive always been progressive and now i am....very left idk ic ant label myself. But even in my progrssiveness i had the gall to tell my white friend, whoa has her privileges but i had mine with our class disparity, that we dont need unions, i have WORKED retail. Ive done barista work for sonoing and i do gig work. So i wasnt out of touch. I had been stiffed even with a shoot i was working on by rich kids. So i had a frame of reference . But i didnt know what the FUCKa union was and why it is imperative. Then learning about anarcho syndicalism and all these other things. It changed my fucking life but two years earlier i was this idiot spouting shit like that making one of my best friends fucking upset. We DO AND CAN CHANGE. Think!!!!)

So were i a creator for tv id just constantly try and push the buttons if i need big money. Make them sell into me (thank you sonic youth!) theres Endless possibilities guys which means theres SO MUCH TK EXPLORE!!!! When i wanna have fun with it i just have fun. When i want to think i do. I dont understand why we are so dedicated to upholding things and doing mental gymnastics to end up in a space you dont need mental gymnastics for. What about these critiques makes you uncomfortable? Saying we're all part of the problem as spectators? Im sorry but we will always be. Thats LIFE. God fuck. Fuck me. I feel so fucking worthless and stupid sometimes. I know I am not. I know i am talented and intelligent. I know my friends and family. I know how to approach ppl. I know how to tell people if they are rich but want to be progressive whatsup. I choose how i live part of that is being ok to say what i want.

Ironically consrrvatives say this shit alot. But they arent ever alone bc their ideology is default. But yea it does feel shitty. It even feels shitty when ur in left circles but people STILL dont even wanna do that. These perspectives really arent ss many as they should be. I dont want to feel so alone with it. I know there are more. I just love art and the world so fucking much, endless possibility. Endless pain but endless good.