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cursedcatvibes · 5 months ago

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WORLD RECORD!

re4r!incel roommate leon x roommate reader

word count: 3.6k

summary: Incel leon who thinks he’s above women and thinks he’s an alpha male. he’s an absolute piece of shit too.

tags/warnings: 18+ minors DNI! Smut, many many mentions of misogyny. He literally can’t find the clit. P in V, he wrapped it before he tapped it! Incel 😧. quick mention of abuse but it’s not super relevant to the plot. not proofread!

a/n: not much to say other than i cringed so bad trying to write leon’s character, but i was committed, i looked through incel forums on reddit and even got chronically online real quick. also i’m on vacation! so i’m not able to write as much as I want! :( i’ll probably post small drabbles but i will most likely have another full story up in a month considering I cranked out a whole 7k page fic and then now a 3k one. DONT QUOTE ME! Also maybe agent leon x agent reader next. @gettingsilly (my sweetheart who was so hyped about this! here you go my love!)

songs:

pussy - rammstein (highly recommend them)

behind blue eyes - limp bizkit (fun fact; this was the og title of the story!)

rape me - nirvana (this was going to be a non con but i changed my mind)

norwegian wood - the beatles (literally burns the woman’s house down cause she don’t want him😭)

happy reading!

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Handsome. Is the first thing that came to mind when you first opened the door to greet your new roommate, Leon.

The rent was getting out of hand these days and you figured it was a way better deal to split the rent instead of living paycheck to paycheck damn near.

The only downside were the horror stories about roommates and even just random strangers too. It made you feel a bit queasy, but what else could you do, a recently single woman and at the ripe age of 25, technically you were in your prime for all types of creeps and weirdos to try and pull something, especially if you live alone.

So you bit the bullet and put up a craigslist ad, putting it at the back of your mind for now while you went back to getting rid of your ex-boyfriend's belongings.

You only remembered about it when someone responded to it and after a few messages back and forth you gave the address to him and told him he could move in tomorrow. Feeling a bit proud of yourself for even being able to organize such an arrangement.

The first thing you noticed was how absolutely built he was, he definitely went to the gym and it made you feel a little insecure for a brief moment, before you stepped to the side to allow him to enter. “Welcome to your new home!” You beamed, happy with what you’ve done to the place. Completely missing the way his eyes ran up and down your body lewdly.

He only wanted to have a girl roommate because he figured she would give it up easily or at least flaunt her body off to him, much to his dismay you were wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, not a single ounce of skin showing where he could sculpt your body out. “Prude.” Is what ran through his mind.

“Thanks.” He replied stiffly. “Where is my room at?” Leon asked as he looked around, he was kinda pissed off you didn’t show him any goods. He hated girls who didn’t show off their body, but he hated girls who showed off too much, thought they were just whores looking to get some attention.

So what if he catcalled them? Obviously they were dressing like that for attention and got all pissy when he gave them that attention.

You were oblivious to Leon’s degrading thoughts, too focused on trying to make sure he didn’t try to kidnap or murder you. When he spoke about where he would be staying you perked up and showed him the room while also giving a quick tour of the apartment.

You were even sweet enough to help him unpack all his things once they were all brought in! He owned some interesting objects, a bit uncomfortable to watch him unpack as he had a whole box dedicated to just sex toys. Fake pair of tits that were way too big to even be comfortable on a woman, fake mouth, fake ass, and multiple fake pussy’s. That wasn’t even the worst part of it.

It got all too freaky when he pulled out hentai figurines that had little to no clothes on, all in lewd poses with lewd expressions on their faces, more specifically ahegao. You could feel the initial attraction from him sizzle down to a mere speck of a flame.

How could someone just own all this stuff so casually, flaunting it like it was a toy race car collection? But Leon didn’t care, fictional cat women were so much better than real women. They couldn't reject him or deny him sex. (Because they quite literally couldn’t, they're inanimate figures.)

He had the straightest deadpan expression on his face and you got the heebie jeebies thinking about what he could’ve possibly done with all these weird toys.”So,” You cleared your throat awkwardly, suddenly feeling like every object of his you touched was just icky. “Where did you say you lived before this?” You asked curiously.

Leon glanced over at you, wondering if you were gonna pull your hoodie off and finally show him your tits if he answered all your questions, he was growing frustrated. Dammit woman! Show him something! He thinks this is the longest he had gone without jerking off or watching a porno. If you weren’t gonna entertain him sexually why were you still bothering him?

“My mom’s. She said something about me needing to move out because I'm too old.” He grumbled out, this gave you a major ick, didn’t this guy say he was 27? He wasn’t struggling to get money when clearly he can afford expensive sex toys and other items. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” You replied quietly, to which Leon grunted in acknowledgment.

Once you finished the box you were unpacking you decided the best course of action was to just walk away from this conversation. “It seems like you can handle the rest on your own, I don’t really wanna break any of your computer monitors and stuff.” You said as you stood up from the floor and brushed your hands against your pants.

“Okay.” Leon hummed, disinterested in conversation. All he really wanted to do was hurry up and set his computer up so he could jerk off in peace. You leaving his room was a bonus. He didn’t want to be downright rude and kick you out, after all, he is totally a nice guy. Plus he got the opportunity to stare at your ass as you walked out, he could see it jiggling underneath your sweats which was enough to rile him up.

You wish you could say it improved from there but unfortunately it did not at all. It only seemed to worsen. Like who the hell is watching porn from the moment they wake up to the moment they fall asleep. It’s all just yucky. The loud and over exaggerated moans that were definitely done for performance and not real.

The only time Leon would leave his room was to eat or grab some water, he always looked so dazed too, it made you wonder what he was doing in there, you’ve never seen him go to work so it made you curious.

Leon on the other hand was always so dazed or flustered in the face from the amount of jerking off he does all day. He once ran his dick dry enough to start cumming clear, rubbing himself raw damn near. It’s not like he tried not to get laid, he definitely did. But it never worked.

The way he carried himself was creepy, flaunting the fact he was a nice guy who could give a girl a good time. News flash! If you have to say you’re a nice guy, you're definitely not. Girls often avoided him in middle school and that followed him throughout highschool and even college. So he naturally drifted towards animated women.

He was hot but his personality quite literally sucked, it's like he would attract women because of his looks and as soon as he started speaking they lost interest. But you? You still greeted him every time he came out of his room with a polite smile on your face, offering to cook him something but he always declined because the mere thought of having a woman do something trivial such as cook for him like a traditional woman should, made him hard on the spot.

He had the normal views on life, such as all men do. Women are baby makers, they belong in the kitchen, they should treat their man like a king. It’s not like anyone could change his opinion either. He’s so far into the rabbit hole that his other incels praise him like he was a god, thus only further bursting his massive ego.

You didn’t think much of Leon, not in a harsh way, you just didn’t really know that much about him because you two never spoke like that. All you did know was that he watched porn, maybe a bit too much that was considered normal. It's not like you're shaming him because you watch porn too, but you have some decency, a bit of dignity and pride.

Yet your opinion of him instantly sours when one day he comes out of his room, which reeked with the smell of cum and sweat, the room was humid too, which confused you when you first noticed it. He wore an angry expression on his face as he stomped, yes, like a toddler would, towards the fridge to guzzle down a can of soda.

You, sitting on the couch mindlessly scrolling through your phone waiting for the time to pass on your off day, you planned to go to a club and slut yourself out to help remind yourself that you’re in fact hot and your ex missed out. Yet when he slammed the fridge door closed that caught your attention, perking your head up like a puppy.

“Uh, you alright?” You asked aloud, watching his eyes snap towards you with a frustrated huff. He figured if you put up with him this long then you must see the same misogynistic views he does about women. “No!” He scoffed out, dragging himself to sit on the couch next to you, like directly. Knees touching and everything.

This piqued your curiosity, maybe you could learn something about him? “What’s wrong?” You questioned as you shut your phone off, sitting up a bit straighter now, putting some distance between the both of you on purpose by grabbing a throw pillow.

Leon then started to rant and you’ve never been more disgusted and horrified in your life before. “I’ve been talking to this really hot chick and we were hitting it off, even had phone sex once or twice but when she asked me who my ideal woman was she ghosted me! Like what's wrong with saying women belong in the kitchen, or doing laundry, or even just cleaning. Women are only here to serve us alpha males.”

Your nose scrunched up while your face morphed into genuine horror mixed with disgust. Is this seriously his mindset? It must be a joke or something of the sort because no way in hell. “Is.. is this a joke?” You asked, feeling puzzled as you looked around for a hidden camera. Out of all the people you got stuck with, you got stuck with an incel of all people.

Leon stared at you with the most serious face he could muster, he wasn’t kidding, in fact he was getting a bit upset that you were thinking he was joking. “Women are what's wrong with this world! You’re all too soft and so ditzy. You all think men’s feelings are a joke.” He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and you swear you can make out a dried cum stain on his clothes.

You felt so sick and also tickled, you’ve never heard someone or have been around a real life incel before and unfortunately this one came in the form of a super hot guy that wasn’t looking so hot anymore

“Ew..” You stood up from the couch and stuck your tongue out slightly. “Is that how you see women? No wonder why she ghosted you, you’re a fucking incel.” You scoffed out, to which Leon got offended. “So?! What’s wrong with that?!” He shouted, the tips of his ears turning pink. It was different being scolded by a woman in person rather than over the phone because he knows they can't hurt him physically but rather verbally. Plus it’s much easier to insult someone online versus real life.

“Do you actually hear the words leaving your mouth?” You questioned, staring him down intensely. Leon tried not to shrink in on himself, it reminded him of his mom telling him that he had done something wrong and now he was in trouble. So he doubled down and sat up straighter too, staring up at you.

“Yeah, and what about it? Why do women get so butthurt over every little thing?” Leon grunted out, rolling his eyes like a little kid would. You were just astonished that he was willing to keep going even after being confronted with the fact, but you weren’t oblivious to the way his ears were turning red from embarrassment. “Fine, if that’s how you’re gonna be.” You murmured as you sat down on the coffee table right in front of him. His eyes follow your form curiously. If he was being honest the only reason why he actually moved in with you was because he thought you were really hot from your profile picture and even the photo you sent of yourself to prove that you were real, per his request. He jerked off to both photos for hours. (Plus his mom really did kick him out.)

Leon went to question you in hopes of turning the table around to make it backfire on you. Yet as his mouth opened to make another snide remark about women you spoke up first. “Let me be the first one to tell you this, and I mean this too.” You paused as you stared right into his eyes. “No woman is ever gonna have sex with you if you have this mentality and mindset.” You watched his eyes widen a bit and felt some joy come from it.

Leon balled his hands up into fists in genuine anger, a deep part of himself knew she wasn’t lying but the other part was so adamant on her being wrong. Obviously she didn’t know what she was talking about, women never do. “You’re a liar. You’re just jealous.” He scoffed out, narrowing his eyes into thin slits.

You were absolutely not lying.

Far from it actually.

The closest Leon had came to a pussy is on a computer screen, let’s face it. No woman on earth would wanna sleep with such scum such as him, not even prostitutes themselves want to take on such a tedious task. They’d rather kill themselves or have their pimp abuse them than sleep with him.

“Really, name 5 women you’ve had touch you in a romantic way.” You countered, staring into his eyes with an intense expression. Leon opened his mouth to try and smugly name a woman until he realized the answer was 0, he had no names because no one wanted him like that.

It was a blow to his ego and it showed on his face. If he wasn’t such a loser with terrible opinions along with his shitty personality then you would’ve felt bad but you didn’t. It was his own fault.

“That’s not fair.” He grumbled, staring up at you with a slight hurt look on his face. He wanted to get back at you. Make you regret and eat your words. How? Well that problem was quickly answered as he grabbed your wrist and pinned you beneath him on the couch. A yelp leaving your mouth at the sudden movements.

“What the—“ You were suddenly cut off by Leon’s hand slapping over your mouth, he smelled of cum and sweat, it made you wanna gag and throw up on him. “I bet I can make you cum so hard you’ll forget that you were mean to me.” He hissed, his fragile ego was broken because of you!

You furrowed your eyebrows before rolling your eyes. “Whatever.” You said underneath his palm, voice coming out muffled.

Leon smirked and moved his hand off your mouth, gazing lustfully at your body. He seemed confident but on the inside he was screaming at himself. He’s never touched or seen a woman in such an intimate manner in real life. This wasn’t a screen this time.

He gulped and hooked his fingers on the waistband of your sweatpants, he was determined to make you cum if it was the last thing he ever did.

Once he removed your sweatpants he found you commando beneath it. His breath caught in his throat, your mound was glistening beneath the light in the living room. It wasn’t even wet because of him, but he was dumb enough to not know the difference. He stared in awe before looking back up at your face when you cleared your throat awkwardly. “You gonna stare or what?” You questioned.

Leon shook his head before putting his hands on you, gently rubbing your inner thighs. Making you think that for a brief moment he might actually know what he was doing, right up until he pressed his thumb against your lower lips and started rubbing them.

Completely missing your clit.

He felt so aroused and a bit cocky now that he was touching your pussy, his eyes laser focused on your face to see if it was feeling good. He even tried dirty talk too. “Yeah? Does that feel good? I bet it does.” Literally hyping himself up.

You found it hilarious and decided to nod, stifling a laugh as you let out a fake over exaggerated moan he hears in his crappy pornos. Leon let out a soft groan at the sound, his hips bucking up into the air while his cock twitched.

Now, Leon had seen enough porn to know that he needed a condom and lube, obviously they never showed the actors prepping the girls' pretty cunts, they just stuck it in. Spoiler alert, foreplay is hot! None is not.

While Leon ran to his room you took the opportunity to finger yourself, even if you were sure he wasn’t packing much you wanted to be somewhat prepared for a small stretch, you groaned silently, throwing your head back in pleasure, clearly favoring your hand over Leon himself.

When you heard his footsteps you quickly pulled your hand away and watched as he excitedly took his pants off. Wow, so much for knowing how to pleasure a woman. It was funny to watch him struggle to keep it together when he kneeled back between your legs.

“I’m gonna put it in now.” Leon announced, squirting a generous amount of lube on your cunt before (attempting to) rolling on the condom. (You definitely had to help him. The last thing you wanted was to get knocked up by some dimwit.)

He put some lube on his cock, jerking off a bit while looking down at your pussy. Not your face. When he stopped masturbating he slapped the tip of his dick against your clit a few times, your body jolting in pleasure at the sudden sensation.

This immediately boosted his ego and you were in awe he was able to make you feel partially good. He was just daydreaming of how tight and warm your hole was going to feel. His dick wasn’t that big either, it was average length, average size, average balls. Just.. underwhelming and average.

“What’re you waiting for?” You murmured, snapping him out his trance briefly before he cleared his throat. “J-Just trying to brace you for my cock, it’s big right?” Leon questioned, feeling a bit insecure but he wanted you to make him feel better, feel like a man. That was a woman’s purpose after all.

“Yes (no).” You sighed out breathily, keeping up your act, dragging your nails down his body gently, causing him to shudder and nod with a smug look on his face. He pushed himself in fairly easily, considering your ex-boyfriends cock was much bigger and overwhelming, accidentally clenching down around Leon’s sad excuse of a penis which riled him up, thinking you had came.

You definitely missed his dick and now was stuck with some crappy one attached to a misogynistic freak. A soft sound of discomfort left your lips and Leon took it as a sign that you were enjoying it. You must love it! He was so confident in himself!

So confident that after 5-6 thrusts he spilled inside the condom, talk about a minute man. He was a millisecond man. His whole body spasmed from euphoric bliss, he had never cum this hard in his life before, burying his face in your neck, sloppily kissing at your skin because he couldn’t kiss for the life of him.

You were stunned someone could cum so quickly, that had to be a world record or something. Quickest man to cum after sticking it in or some random ass title, you hadn’t realized you had zoned out about the Guinness record book until Leon pulled his cock out from inside you, feeling good about himself.

He was panting softly from the intensity of his orgasm, leaning back against the couch to gaze at your pretty pussy, he wanted to eat you out too, wanting to show you he was good orally too.

“Was it good? Did you cum too?” Leon said as he stared into your eyes, wanting to hear you sing his praises and take back your harsh words that hurt his feelings. Almost like a puppy waiting for its owner to praise them for pissing outside the house instead of inside.

You grabbed your clothes and put them back on, smirking as you stared him dead in the eye. “No, I didn’t cum.” You snickered as his face dropped, kissing his forehead quickly. “Sucks to suck, Leon.” You said casually, getting up to go to your room and nap.

Leon sat on the couch stunned beyond relief, his cock kicking against his thigh as he watched you.

He swore under his breath that you were lying and you did cum, after all, delusion is key, and delusion is what made him become your roommate to begin with.

#leon kennedy #re4r leon #resident evil #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy smut #incel leon #misogyny goes crazy in this one #writing ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚#leon kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy x reader

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flowery-language · 1 year ago

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𓆩♡𓆪 STAY AWAY. Loser! Ellie Williams headcanons

a/n : I am struggling to start writing and stop procrastinating on writing the series I am working on so have some quick Ellie head canons while you wait also loser!Ellie is just regular Ellie and y’all aren’t ready for that conversation also it isn’t much sorry I’ve been struggling with procrastinating on writing got to put something out for the mean time

Inspired by seriously go read theirs @cowgirlcherrie and my one of my close friends mannerisms

Warnings/content: 18+ mentions of sex mostly fluff and also Ellie is a loser and cursing fingering!receiving masturbating and mentions of face riding

ੈ✩‧₊˚ you met loser!Ellie in Highschool and you bonded your intense overwhelming hatred for the people at your school over how much you hated everyone else here and that your the only person she could tolerate

“Everyone here are fucking npc’s with no capacity for thinking for themselves”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ Loser!Ellie definitely owns a women love me fish fear me shirt that she started wearing ironically until it wasn’t anymore

ੈ✩‧₊˚ she always had to make jokes about her nonexistent dick much to your annoyance she has the humor of twelve year old boy

“How about you suck 15 inch cock”

“You don’t have one” you exclaimed

“Fuck you mean women literally beg me to see it”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!Ellie unironically loves family guy and American guy and and fucking loves Rick and Morty and Bojack horseman

“I know I am a lesbian but I would fuck rick Sanchez no questions asked”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ you and loser!Ellie bonded over your intense overwhelming hatred for chase Atlantic

“They sound like they are fucking singing in cursive”

“I know right thank you someone gets it”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!ellie has the music taste of someone’s father and she is very unapologetic about it she listens to Radiohead, nirvana, slipknot, the cure and the Beatles. etc

“ you should listen to the cure”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!Ellie got into an argument once with you because you said you liked Saturn more than Jupiter

“Jupiter or Saturn pick one”

“Uh—Saturn”

“Jupiter is fucking better”

“No it’s not I like Saturn better”

“You only like Saturn because it’s fucking pretty”

“No I don’t”

“Yes you fucking do”

“Whatever”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!Ellie cannot flirt with women for shit she just infodumps to them and hopes her info would get them to like her and wanna be with her and she is lucky that she is attractive enough to pull it off

ੈ✩‧₊˚ when loser!Ellie started to develop a crush on you she would do favours and constantly try to impress you she once took you to skater park to show you the tricks she was learning she ended up falling flat on her face because she was too busy staring into your eyes and she had the biggest blush on her face when you laughed at her for it.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ By the time Loser!Ellie developed feelings for you she would go above and beyond because suddenly the concept of helping others was completely uninteresting until it was you you got your heart shattered by another girl and all she could think of is that she would never treat you that way ever.

“It’s just that I wished that she didn’t string me along for a month and actually rejected me instead of telling me she liked me back when she didn’t”

“I swear when I see that fucker in my line of vision it won’t be pretty you deserve better than her anyway you were out of her league”

“Honestly I am starting to think maybe it’s because I am not attractive enough for girls to want me”

“Don’t fucking say that you were out of her league you will find someone who treats you so good ”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!Ellie always wants you to try smoking weed with her even though you very much didn’t like taking drugs or being high it’s mostly because you make her so nervous and if she was high with you she could maybe try to flirt with you without fumbling her words and not looking you in the eye.

“Come on try it for me it feels really good I promise”

“Yeah no thanks Ellie”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ she knew that she couldn’t keep this to herself anymore she wanted you and Every time you tried to date someone else it made her genuinely sick to her stomach.

“ oh fuck saying this shit isn’t easy but I gotta say it I like you okay I really really do”

“Your fucking with me right now if your joking Ellie it’s not funny”

“I am not joking I fucking do okay”

“Wait your not”

“Of course I am not”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ NSFW section

ੈ✩‧₊˚ you are always the first person she thinks of when she gets high late at night she has to resist the urge to call you over her hand in her boxers.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ Loser!Ellie has a happy trail.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ she loves it when you ride her face and not just hovering she wants you to sit on it at first you were really nervous and insecure but she was a having the time of her life and Everytime you do hover she would beg you sit properly

“Babe please just sit stop fucking hovering”

ੈ✩‧₊˚she loves it when you ride her thighs she loves the sensory experience of you riding it and when you ride her fingers she always wishes to be inside you and feel it when you ride it

ੈ✩‧₊˚ she is obsessed with you wearing her clothes especially her boxers she loves giving them to you

“You’re gonna run out of boxers to wear if you keep this up”

“I don’t fucking care”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ she loves you to death and will not hesitate to show it off she always loves mentioning you much to literally everyone’s annoyance.

“My girl is getting a PHD is so smart”

“This reminds me my girlfriend really loves these flowers I gotta get them”

#ellie smut #ellie the last of us #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie x you #ellie willams x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie williams #ellie tlou

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japage3moondog · 1 year ago

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the beatles bad impressions hc's

how the boys would leave a less than perfect impression and what they would do to make it up to you.

john lennon

john would come off as a pretentious dick at first. like the first thing he'd ask you is your music taste and start listening all the obscure jazz bands he knows. and then he's asking if you own a record player and ranting to you about how much better music sounds on vinyl.

it's love at first sight for him, though he doesn't realise it just yet, in that he feels like he can open up to you completely. whether he meets you on a bus, in a museum, at a concert, or wherever it may be he will just spill completely onto you.

you try to avoid talking to him for a while because it's pretty overwhelming having a stranger, however charming, just start talking about music or art or literature.

so when he can finally see you again, after he's realised what he's done, he apologises. verbally and with flowers. then he shuts up and lets you talk about what you like.

paul macca

paul would be weirdly controlling. like you would meet at a cafe and he would insist you order his favourite drink, or you'd be at a library and he'd take the book you were about to borrow out of your hands and replace it with something he enjoyed reading. he thinks he's being really suave and romantic but it's a little creepy.

you either walk away or try to awkwardly take back control of the situation. you kind of see what he's getting at but you're still a little wary of the strange man who got you to order a sad cappucino.

he apologises with a heart to heart where he explains that he's attracted to you and he made the wrong call thinking it would be more charming than scary.

george harrison

george would be very quiet and you would think he hates you at first. he's also quite standoffish and can be blunt or just give super short answers. he loves to start conversations but he either doesn't finish them or makes them so awkward that you end them for your own sake.

this makes you very hesitant to interact with him because you're not sure if he actually dislikes you or if he's fucking with you. overall a very unpleasant confusion.

eventually you confront him and he has no idea he's been coming off that way. he's extremely apologetic and lets it slip how much he actually likes you, and is starting to love you. from then on he makes sure you know just how much he appreciates you.

ringo starr

when you first meet ringo and he's so flirtatious and affectionate and showering you with love, you feel so special and excited inside. but then you see how he acts with everyone else and the joy sort of melts away. seeing him be even more passionate with strangers makes you feel quite foolish.

you go very quiet and try to keep to yourself around him, giving one word answers, prematurely ending conversations, etc. you know you're probably overreacting a little bit but you comfort your choices by reminding yourself that he's literally a celebrity and meets thousands of people just like you.

he's starting his whole flirty bastard routine when you just shut down and he also gets really sad. he tells you that even though he treats everyone this way, he also really cares about you and enjoys your company. he tones it down in the future.

#the beatles x reader #john lennon x reader #paul mccartney x reader #george harrison x reader #ringo starr x reader

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tavolgisvist · 2 months ago

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The suits

Think, I don't want to clog the idontwanttospoiltheparty's post so put my comments here. @idontwanttospoiltheparty wrote good tags

I was just thinking about the suits too. And I came to the same conclusion: the suits as a way to express dissatisfaction with something else. Look,

1971 (the trial for the dissolution of The Beatles etc):

He was a theatrical man rather than a businessman, and with us he was a bit like that. He literally fucking cleaned us up. And there were great fights between him and me, over years and years, of me not wanting to dress up. He and Paul had some kind of collusion... to keep me straight. Because I kept spoiling the image, like the time I beat up a guy at Paul's twenty-first (birthday). I nearly killed him, because he insinuated that me and Brian had an affair in Spain. I was out of me mind.

(John Lennon, September 5th, 1971, St. Regis Hotel in New York City, interview with Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld)

and 1975 (meeting with Paul in 1974 and after):

Q: How true is the myth that Brian Epstein packaged the Beatles? А: Everything is true and not true about everything. That’s one thing I’ve learned. Both things are both true. Q: That’s a very Yoko answer … But was there a point where you four were very naive? А: Oh, we weren’t naive. We were no more naive than he was. I mean what was he, he was serving in a record shop. And he saw this group of sort of rockers … or greasers playing loud music and a lot of kids paying attention to it. So he thought well, this is a business to be in. He liked the look of us, and thought, I’ll be a manager. It was as simple as that. He said, I think I can manage you, and we had nobody better, and we said, All right, you can do it. Then he went shopping around, getting us work, and then there came to a bit when he said, Look, if you cut your hair… Q: How long was it? А: For then, it was longer than any of the photographs. Normally, in any photograph, it had been trimmed or cut. Even school photographs—have you noticed that— your hair always seemed to be cut the day before they took the school photograph. Or whenever you had a photograph of your holidays, somehow the parents or somebody always managed to cut your hair. But there’s some private pictures where it was pretty long for those days, longer than the early pictures. And it was still greased back, and outside of Liverpool, when we went down South in the leather outfits, the dance-hall promoters didn’t really like us, because they thought we looked like a gang of thugs. So Epstein said, Look, if you wear this suit … and we liked suits, everybody wanted a good suit, a nice black, sharp suit, man … you know, yeah, man, I’ll have a suit. So, if you wear a suit, you get this much money. All right, wear a suit, you get more money, wear a suit, I’ll wear a fucking balloon if they’re going to pay me. He was our salesman. He was our front. If you notice, another quirk of life is that self-made men usually have someone with education to front for them. Epstein had enough education to go in and talk to the hobnobs in their own language, and it’s the same now. If I have a lawsuit, I have to get a lawyer to talk to them. Epstein fronted for the Beatles. He played a great part at whatever he did; he was theatrical, that was for sure, and he believed in us. But he certainly didn’t package us the way they said [he did]. Look, we weren’t picked up off the street, we allowed him to take us. Paul wasn’t so keen [on him], Paul’s more conservative in the way he approaches things, and that’s all well and good—maybe he’ll end up with more yachts.

(John Lennon, FEB 19, 1975, interview with Lisa Robinson)

Different years, different circumstances - and different reactions to the suits.

And we remember Brian wasn't the first person who dressed John in a suit (haha I have a reason to quote Len Garry and add a link to amoralto):

“Yeah yeah, it’s all very well, Paul,” muttered John. “Just because your Dad played in some old time music hall in the thirties doesn’t mean we should go on stage wearing white coats. People will think we’re a bunch of fairies.” “Wait a minute, John, I’m burning the toast.” Paul, clattering about in the kitchen, seemed oblivious to John’s emphatic statement. He then came out of the kitchen with a pile of buttered toast on a large plate for the ravenous horde waiting. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you properly; oh, the white coats, is that what you’re on about? What’s your problem with that? Look John, it’s about time we started smartening up our image because we can’t go on looking like a gang of ruffians just dragged off the streets,” retorted Paul. “We must look professional – we’re on the stage, in the public eye, and appearances are important. If we start looking the part then perhaps you may even be able to get your chords right.” Paul said this last point in a jovial manner, not wishing to rouse John’s temper, as he knew even after short acquaintance with John that he could soon ‘fly off the handle’ if provoked. John seemed unperturbed by the insinuation that Paul was making about his professionalism (or lack of it). There was a silence for a couple of minutes as we all munched on our buttered toast. “Yeah okay – but white coats? I can’t see myself in one of those. Anyway, where would we get them from?” “Never mind that – Nigel will sort that out. Look, it will be you and me up front from now on as main guitarists and vocalists so it’ll look good, the both of us wearing the same gear. It will be white coats, white shirts and black bow ties – the rest of the group can wear white shirts and black bow ties.” John still seemed undecided and looked to me for support. “What do you think, Len?” he asked. “I think the answer lies in the soil,” I said, trying to bring a bit of humour into what seemed to me a contest building up between two strong personalities, each having been used to getting their own way. Continuing in a none-too-serious vein, “But then again I think that you two don’t need us anymore, we’re has-beens.” [...] “Come on, Len, be serious for a minute. What do you think?” repeated John, who was by this time desperate for support. “I honestly think it’s worth a try and it will probably improve our image,” I said half-heartedly. Suddenly John resorted to his lighter mode. “Ooh, eh! We will look smart. Why don’t we hire a limousine and dress up as undertakers instead?” he quipped. “Don’t be thick, John, we’d all have to wear black for that,” Eric Griffiths suddenly interjected. “Okay, we’ll all be in white then – it’s agreed,” said Paul. John then started up with a song that had recently been popularised: “A white sport coat and a pink carnation, I’m getting dressed up for a dance.” With that John did a little dance around the room. The Quarrymen Committee had arrived at another major decision without too much rancour.

(John, Paul and Me: Before The Beatles by Len Garry, 1997)

It's interesting, I didn't know:

1963 was the year of the now iconic collarless suit – created for the band by UK tailor, Dougie Millings, whom we learn went on to make over 500 outfits for the group. His collarless creation was conceived in a brainstorming session involving Paul McCartney, who’d originally proposed the idea. Their suits were modeled on an original design by Pierre Cardin, but tweaked to make it a distinctively Beatles’ garment.

(from review of Fashioning the Beatles – The Looks That Shook the World (2023, by Deirdre Kelly)

And the Paul's reason to wear the same suits (from Conversations With McCartney by Paul Du Noyer, 2012):

Later, not long before he died in April 1962, Sutcliffe visited his former group in Liverpool, with Kirchherr on his arm. “He was looking thin and pale, and he must’ve been taking medication, because, like the letter from him reproduced in the book, which is very James Joyce-y and surreal, he was sometimes just floating, and then all of a sudden, he wasn’t,” McCartney recalls. “There’s a picture in the book of Astrid, with her very short, Mia Farrow-type hair, John and Stu outside the Cavern. Not long after that, we were all down there, in the Cavern, and I remember Stu and Astrid walking in, and Stu had this ordinary jacket, but without the collar. We all pissed ourselves laughing. He was not happy, because we didn’t get it, the style. But then, when he died, those famous Beatles collarless jackets, they’re in homage. They weren’t Beatles jackets. They were Stu’s jacket.”

(Mike McCartney, June 2022, interview with Jeff Slate)

#the beatles #paul mccartney #john and paul #the suits #dougie millings #deirdre kelly #paul du noyer #mike mccartney #stu sutcliffe #interview: paul #interview: john

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humdinky · 1 year ago

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i love pixar's turning red. it is such a good representation of girls at that age. they don't shy away from depicting the awkward and weird parts. it is so rare to see a movie depict girls and their silly interests without condemning or judging them. they just let the girls be girly, noisy, and silly.

fuck the hate this movie got on its release. i could go on for hours about society's uniquely shitty attitude towards teenage girls and their interests. there are countless examples. remember the feverish hate for twilight, a series aimed exclusively at young women? what about the hunger games? teenage girls were the first ones to fall in love with elvis and the beatles, and critics treated them like a joke. that is, until adult men started liking them. funny how that works. justin bieber fans, one direction fans, vsco girls, girly girls, tomboys, emo girls, indie girls, bookworms. you will see every single type of girl being made fun of for every conceivable interest a human being can have.

at a certain age you feel forced to make an arbitrary choice. lean into your feminine side and continue to get mocked for 'being shallow', 'only caring about your looks', 'being annoying' etc. or lean into your masculine side and get called a pick-me or told that you just want to get with their guy friends. you like things that are popular? you’re basic. you like things that aren’t as popular? you’re trying too hard. it is the entire reason why so many girls internalize this misogyny, why they start saying things like "im not like other girls."

i certainly wasn't immune to that trap. i didn’t fit the mold and got ostracized for it. the only validation i received for the longest time was from boys, when i turned my anger back on girls and girlhood. i was sold that narrative so many times that i wore it like some sort of badge of honor. it took years to unlearn. i feel sad when i look back on my younger self. i was so sad, so angry, and so scared all the time.

we get insulted for being happy. we get insulted for being sad. we get insulted for being mad that we were insulted for being sad. we get insulted for trying to forget what happened and act happy again. we get insulted for feeling hopeless. they beat the confidence out of you very early.

and it angers me how the emotions of teenagers as a whole are so often neglected. when you're around that age and grappling with big emotions, you've quite literally never felt anything that strongly before. a failed test, a best friend's betrayal, being cut from a sports team. it all feels like a rejection of your entire person, your entire being. you haven't lived that many years yet, and it's the first time you've felt this horrible. you don't have anything to compare it to, and it feels like nobody else could have ever survived feeling this bad before.

it's not petty teenage drama. it's not immaturity. it is a normal human reaction to the worst pain you've experienced, and it is happening at a time when your body is going haywire and your feelings feel impossible to control. you don't know how to cope with it, you can't possibly know, because it's the first time you've had this bottomless well of pain tearing you up inside. you can't look back at previous times you've felt this way to reassure yourself that it will be okay eventually. the first time is the worst and hardest and you have no resources to get through it yet.

a lot of adults scoff at and dismiss the feelings of teenagers. "you're young, you'll get over it"' they've decided that because you haven't dealt with this feeling before that you must be overreacting. sometimes you are, and sometimes you're reacting exactly how any adult would. it's an absolutely shitty thing to express to anyone. a teenage girl's pain is not any less real than a 50 year old's pain. so what if it will get better? it doesn't matter that it isn't going to be the worst thing that ever happens; it matters that right now it very much is the worst thing that's happened.

yes, teenagers overreact over a lot of things that aren't as important as they feel. as if adults, who don't even have the excuse of inexperience with deep emotions, don't? no one should ever dismiss someone else's pain regardless of their age or circumstances.

im turning 20 in a few months. find the small joys of life, and don’t you dare let anyone take them away from you. if there is a teenage girl reading this, i love you, i am sorry, and it does get better.

#txt #rant post #turning red #women #afab #teenagers #misoginy #internalized misoginy

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angoragangrene · 5 months ago

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Taylor Swift is not Madonna's, Michael Jackson's, The Beatles, Queen, or Beatles peers. Just because of album sales.

Swifties love to use this https://chartmasters.org/best-selling-artists-of-all-time/

and act like because she is number 10 on the list that she on the same stratosphere as them. She is not. If you release more albums with 300 versions it's gonna get you to the top 10. I don't know how they don't understand that. Adele could literally be up there too if she released more or Rihanna or Lady Gaga. It's about quality. Having albums with high sales is more impressive than having your whole catalog with high numbers.

It's not about sales it's about impact these artists made that she has not. Music Industry would still pretty much the same if it wasn't for her (probably better).

Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Bob Marley, Prince, Stevie Wonder are their peers but they are lower on this list.

She is not better than Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande, Harry Styles, The Weeknd, Rihanna, Katy Perry.

And I think only america sees her being peers with the likes I mentioned above. The rest of the world and people in general who don't pay attention to charts and sales ( most people don't). Don't see her as their peer.

Maybe in success she is. But anything else? No.

Their logic that there is more competition now doesn't make sense either. Yes this might be true due to streaming that there are more options. But back then you actually needed some type of talent to be recognised. 😭 There are countless of artists that would have never made it back in the day because they don't have the it factor. Like someone like Drake would have never made it. And nobody would be listening to Jojo Siwas Karma if it wasn't for Tiktok and streaming.

Social media is a huge help to get them through the door. While Taylor Swift might have it harder in terms of competing when it comes to their logic, back in the 80's she wouldn't even have the chance to compete.

Getting famous with all the various platforms is much easier when you can promote your shit on tiktok Twitter etc and be relevant because of your antics. ( Nicki Minaj).

Also Autotune didn't exist until 1997 and that would be a huge problem for many artists aswell. lol.

Exactly! ‘Quality over quantity’ exists for a reason

#obvi not saying someone with lots of experience behind their belt isn’t a true artist #but when releasing such a large amount of songs in a short period #when you have had little time to grow as a person and reflect #(if you even do that at all AHEM)#it’s practically impossible to create quality art.#what you’re creating is a product #anti taylor swift

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kolbisneat · 4 months ago

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MONTHLY MEDIA: July 2024

I read a lot more than I was expecting this month but I ain't complaining. Here's how I spent the month of July!

……….FILM……….

Evil Dead II (1987) Didn't love Evil Dead (not that it's not good, I just get too spooked by straight horror) but had no idea that this would be what it is. Puppets and stop motion! Looney Tune antics! Magic with rules! This is my kinda movie and I'm baffled the modern films in the franchise don't try for this sort of energy.

Poor Things (2003) It took a while for me to settle into this, but around the time Dafoe's Godwin explains Bella's condition, I was all in. It's a dreamlike movie with dreamlike logic so despite some of the discourse I tried not to take too much of it literally. Beautiful and far funnier than I expected.

……….TELEVISION……….

Columbo (Episode 1.04 to 1.07) Gosh I love the era of television where each episode was self-contained. Episode 7 features Columbo smoking in a doctor's office and I was not at all expecting him to comment on the dangers of tobacco, but he did! I notice this first season only had a handful of episodes with the classic "oh one more thing" schtick so I'm curious if that pops up more in later seasons.

Scavenger's Reign (Episode 1.01 to 1.12) This is a show where I sit down, turn it on, and while the beautiful opening credits play, think, "I wonder what horrifying imagery is gonna f*** me up this episode?" The animation and design are sooooooo good that it made up for the occasionally baffling writing. Please go watch it so a second season can get greenlit.

Bridgerton (Episode 3.05 to 3.08) I missed a few eps there in the middle but it all worked. That final party, and all that went with it (the speech, the bugs, the reveal of who paid for it) was 10/10. Good stuff.

……….YOUTUBE……….

Yoko and The Beatles by Lindsay Ellis Yoko Ono didn't break up the Beatles. And while this video essay expands on the factors that DID split up the band, it's also a really great dive into the weight of fame and the weight of fame on women. VIDEO

Was starting a product business a mistake? by Simone Giertz An honest and detailed insight into the dream vs. reality of small business and internet fame. Looks like it's going to be a full series and I'm looking forward to more. VIDEO

……….READING……….

N or M by Agatha Christie (Complete) Spy Thriller set during the Second World War? With a husband/wife spy duo? Oh heck yeah. Sometimes I find the clues to be a little convoluted/unnecessarily obscure but this one struck a great balance of visible but easily forgettable.

The Knight of the Swords by Michael Moorcock (Complete) Having first read the comic adaptation (penciled by Mike Mignola!) I now realize some of my issues (pacing, understanding the abstract) work better in novel form. An elevated pulp adventure that has some great ironic twists.

Sherlock Holmes vs. Dracula or The Adventure of the Sanguinary Count by Loren D. Estleman (Complete) Thrift find purchased based on the premise alone. Exactly what you'd expect but not much beyond that. It's at its best when you get Dracula directly interacting with Holmes and/or Watson.

Spider-Verse by Dan Slott, Christos N. Gage, Mike Costa, Dennis Hopeless, and many many more (Complete) Really enjoyed reading this but am baffled by its production. Why the issues aren't collected in chronological order, I'll never know. I know the book is over ten years old now but the writing (especially all of the Spider-Women) really stands out as...not great. All but the Superior Spider-Man essentially sound the same (perhaps the point?) but Gwen and Jess and Cindy mostly talk about things like body image and pheromones and it's glaring. I'm curious what I'll think upon a second readthrough (reading in order, and after the first wave of nostalgia has completely rinsed off) but I definitely think this story walked so the movies could break the speed of sound.

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Beats Up the Marvel Universe! by Ryan North and Erica Henderson (Complete) North's writing and Henderson's artwork are the perfect blend for such a bright and enthusiastic character. Unbeatable Squirrel Girl is such a great series (which I gotta go back and finish) and this is an equally great introduction to the character.

Superior Foes of Spider-Man Vol 1 by by Nick Spencer, Marcos Martin, and Steve Leiber (Complete) I was really excited for this series (the premise! the cover art!) but the pacing, humour, and art just didn't connect. Honestly really bummed that I didn't like this more.

……….AUDIO……….

3D6 Down the Line (Podcast) A nice change of pace from the modern D&D games I play in. They use Old School Essentials for their system (more akin to 2nd Edition D&D) and play with a mindset similar to the 70s style of play (treasure for experience, everything is lethal). I'm still having trouble distinguishing some of the voices from each other, but it's a great listen.

……….GAMING……….

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) Tuesday crew watched a peaceful inauguration and gained notoriety for saving a neighbourhood from roaming monsters (you can read all about it here!) and the Mof1 crew is dabbling in dangerous contracts with dangerous people (all for a cap that controls the winged monkeys).

And that's it. See you in August!

#Monthly Media #Kolbisneat #Andrew Kolb

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finelinevogue · 2 years ago

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baby honey

summary - it’s the summer of ‘69 and you meet international rockstar harry styles on your summer holiday

warnings: swearing, assault, violence, kissing, shitty parents, self deprecation

pairing: rockstar!harry x reader

word count: +5.1k

California was fucking hot.

The sun was a burdening heat on the back of your neck, whilst the humidity ran you dry. For someone who came from a cold country, the sunny West Coast certainly was a place unlike anything you’d experienced before. It was here that you felt like permanent summer. Every day was sunshine and colour.

It was mid-summer of 1969 and it was about to be the best summer of your life. School had finished and you had already spent one year as a journalist just as you’d always wanted. You were lucky that your dad was already into the journalism industry, otherwise it would have been very difficult to get in to. As a celebration for a successful year and a 19th birthday treat, your family were treating you to a holiday in California like you’d dreamt of since you were little.

The resort you were staying in was in Malibu - your dad having connections made sure you could stay in a knock-out complex for your first time in Cali. There was a huge, blue, swimming pool that you couldn’t wait to use and cool you down. The view from the villas was breathtaking - the ocean only a hundred metres away, crashing against the coastline with a roar. The sunset ran perfectly down upon the villa, making the outside hammock the perfect place to cosy up and read your favourite romance books.

Everything was perfect. Especially when you met him.

It was in the evening that you first saw him. You knew him, of course you did, from the endless repeats that he played on your car radio. You had seen his face plastered on some of the biggest billboards in the country. He had sold more records than The Beatles. He was a fucking legend and you couldn’t quite get over that he was in your holiday resort.

Your eyes followed his figure as he walked towards the pool bar. He was wearing short yellow swim trunks and had an open white shirt on top. A cigarette in his hand whilst he ordered some drink, alcohol filled no doubt. His figure was incredible, not too muscly but nowhere near skinny. He was perfect and he was making you blush just by getting to eye at him.

A tall, blonde, woman with legs as long as a giraffes neck walked next to him and leant over the bar slightly to show off her cleavage. You tutted at how obvious and flirtatious she was. It was gross that women literally threw themselves at men like him, just because of how successful and beautiful they were. He then requested the bartender to buy his lady friend a drink, curling a hand around her waist as he leant into her ear to whisper something.

Even though he was 26 years old, you were still completely infatuated by him. He was an absolute God in your eyes, rivalled by no-one. But, he was Harry Styles and Harry Styles was only infatuated with one person; himself.

•••••

“Y/N!”

Your dad called from within the villa. It was two days later and you hadn’t seen Harry anymore, not that you were actively looking for him or anything.

Putting on an oversized yellow shirt, you buttoned up the top two buttons to cover yourself and your floral-orange swimsuit a bit better. Today you were going down to the pool again, your dad having to meet someone for business in the bar area. Your mum was going to sunbathe and you were going to swim to cool yourself down from this exhausting summer heat.

“Yeah?”

“Come on! We’re leaving now!”

You groaned, grumbling that this was supposed to be a relaxed holiday and not just some rushed vacation. Grabbing your pool bag you threw in your favourite Austen novel and other necessities, before catching up to your parents.

The pool was quite busy, but quiet enough to grab an excellent spot on the sun loungers. Due to the resort being fairly pricey, it was mainly adults staying here and so there were no rowdy children running around. It made the atmosphere relaxing and almost spa-like. This is exactly what you envisioned when someone asked you what your ideal summer looked like. The pool was quiet, with only a few people swimming lengths. Your mum and you set up on some sun-beds, whilst your dad wandered to the bar to meet his client.

“Did you put on son lotion?” Your mum asked.

“Yes mum.”

“Don’t want to get wrinkles, Y/N.” She added, even though you told her that you’d put it on already. Your mum was all about looks and how your portray yourself to the public. She was overbearing about it, setting stupid standards for a 19 year old to abide by.

“I know mum.” You sighed, taking off your shirt and tucking it into your bag.

Your mum laid down and got to tanning immediately, making sure that she was angled perfectly so there were no flaws on her body. Your mum was very healthy and on a very strict exercise diet, which you didn’t care anything for because you loved yourself for who you were. Unfortunately, your mum could be sharp with her words and cut you like a knife if she wanted. Often she commented on your wider hips and larger boobs, but mostly on your little muffin top on your stomach. They were all parts of you that you had gotten to love and it was annoying that your mum couldn’t just do the same.

“Where are you going?”

“To the pool.” You said, sliding on your sandals so not to walk on the scolding pavement around the pool.

“Take your cover up.” Her words pinched you, making it seem like you in a swimsuit was something you should be embarrassed by.

Instead of listening to her, you laughed and walked off without your coverup. You turned around to see her shake her head before returning her head onto the lounger for her nap. Turning back around you-

“Hey, watch ou-.”

Before you knew it you’d slipped on a pool of water and used the person in front of you as support. Unfortunately they weren’t as stable as you thought and therefore instead of remaining upright, you both went flying sideways and splashing into the cool pool below. The water went all your nose and your eyes had closed two seconds too late. Your body stayed tangled against the other persons, before they kicked off you, into your ribs, and pushed themselves back to the surface.

Pushing yourself up the surface next you let out a deep gasp, coughing as you expelled all the chlorinated water from your nose and throat.

“Fucking hell.” The person gasped, gaining their own air back.

“You just kicked me in the ribs, fuck!” You groaned, knowing that was going to leave a nice purple bruise. That was going to be flattering.

“Oh I’m sorry. It’s not like you were the one that fucking pulled me into this shittin’ pool.”

Turning around and ready to slap this guy in the face, your words got stuck in your throat as you realised who you had pulled into the pool with you. His hair now stuck to his face instead of nestled with curls on top of his head. His sunglasses now floating in the pool next to him instead of laying on his head. And if he were to get out of the pool, no doubt the black t-shirt he wore would stick to his muscles like hot glue.

“You.” You gasped, actually appalled that the first and only conversation you’d have with your only ever crush was this. You suddenly understood the asshole rockstar personality everyone talked about him having that you stubbornly dismissed.

“Yeah, me.”

“Dickhead, is what you are.” You said, which he looked slightly taken aback by.

“Me? Dickhead? Honey, you were the one that pulled me into the pool.” He argued back, kicking his legs to stay afloat.

“Could’ve warned me there was a puddle though, no?”

“Honey, I’m not your fucking daddy. Learn to walk yourself.”

Okay, that was not supposed to send tingles throughout your entire your body but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t. Jesus fuck, why did the asshole have to be hot?

“Yeah well-.”

“Styles. Thought we said we were meeting at the bar, not in the pool.” Your dad said as he stood by the waters edge.

Your faced dropped its colour, even the sunburn leaching away from the pigment of your skin. You turned your head between your dad and the very attractive rockstar floating in the pool next to you, trying to understand if what was happening was what you thought was happening.

“Dad? You know Harry Styles?”

“Actually, it’s just Harry.” Harry interrupted.

“And I don’t give a shit.” You sneered.

“Language Y/N.” Your dad scolded you, making you embarrassed that this was even happening. “Styles, let’s go.”

You were too stunned to speak, not actually believing that anything that had just happened actually happened. Harry Styles had fallen into a pool because of you and now you learn he’s partners with your dad in some way. This was both the most exciting and most humiliating day of your existence.

“Guess I’ll be seeing you around, Y/N.” Harry spoke.

The way he said your name was the last thing on your mind that night.

•••••

“So let me get this straight. Your dad is in partnership with the Harry Styles and you found out because you pulled him into a swimming pool?”

“How bad is it?” You asked your best-friend Tiff, knowing she would know how to do damage control.

“Well I mean not everyone gets to push Harry Styles into a pool. I mean, to be honest, I would love to do that. Like imagine how muscles would all-.”

“Tiff! Not helping.” You shouted down the phone, trying to keep as quiet as possible since you were using the phone in the hotel lobby.

“Right, sorry.” She cleared her throat. “So? Is he dreamy?”

“He’s so dreamy.” You sighed, leaning back against the wall.

“Who’s dreamy?” You turned around quickly and was met with Harry right beside you. Your tongue got stuck in your throat as you tried to come up with reasonable answer to his question, seeing as you were definitely not about to inflate his ego by saying him.

He looked handsome, wearing a pair of high waisted brown trousers and a white wife-beater tucked in. A cigarette was held in his hand and his hair was gelled back now, unlike before in the pool. He had obviously freshened up because you could smell that divine aftershave every interviewer raves about. It was weird to think you were experiencing seeing and smelling him like this. No complaints, apart from the fact he was a giant, self-absorbed, ego-inflaming, prick.

“Y/N?” Tiff sounded on the other side of the line.

“O-Oh I gotta go Tiff. I’ll call you later okay?” You hung up before you could even hear her answer, too flushed with Harry in front of you to properly concentrate.

“Tiff? Is she single?” Harry asked, taking a puff of his cig and blowing it out in the perfect cloud. It was so hot watching him do that and you’d watch it on repeat every single day if technology allowed it.

“Ugh.” You scoffed, him ruining the moment for himself. “You’re such a man-whore.” You started walking away, no clue as to where. You didn’t realise Harry was following you until his voice sounded from over your shoulder.

“I was merely asking a question, Y/N.”

“Well I’m not answering it,” You told him, walking a little faster to try and loose him, “and don’t call me Y/N as if you know me.”

“Baby honey I can do whatever I want to, but you already know that.” His comment was said to get under your skin, which is exactly what it did.

You stopped abruptly, turning around so quickly that you bumped right into his solid chest. Your chest was heaving with frustration, trying to act more grown up than you were so size him up and knock him down. His smell was nearly too intoxicating to think, but you had to get around it in order to make your peace.

“No. What I know is that you’re a selfish and prudish asshole who parades his dick around for any woman or man that wants to sit on it.”

Your eyes kept locked with his, not wanting to be the one to back down first. Stupidly, your eyes drifted down to his lips just to see how perfect they were up close and it made your heart melt at how luscious they looked. The colour was the most pretty of pinks and the heart-shape to them really made you want to kiss them so badly. You held your restraint though and moved your eyes back to his, only to realise his eyes were looking at your lips. You licked your lips subtly, teasing him with what he couldn’t have.

The tension was thick between you both, but it was easily cut when the blonde woman from the other day came up beside him.

“Ready to go to my room?” She giggled in the most annoying and high pitched voice you’d ever heard. She also stank of weed, which made you part your gaze from Harrys’ and take a step back.

Your chest was still trying to come back down from the high of your confrontation with Harry. You stood by, not daring to move. Looking up, you noticed Harry still looking towards you and it made you want to melt like an ice-cream on a hot summers day.

“Y’know what, Stephanie, I think I’ll pass.” He says, untangling her arm from his body.

“It’s Stella.”

You had to laugh at how he had basically just solidified the point you were making earlier about him sleeping with anyone. You shook your head, actually feeling bad that he felt like his had to maintain his image in this way, before walking away.

Far away from him.

•••••

It was later in the evening and you found yourself at a nearby club.

Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to go by yourself, but you were so intrigued to see how freeing a night out by yourself would be. Your parents were unaware that you had snuck out and you weren’t even sure how you’d been granted entry into a place like that, but you were on your holiday and you didn’t care too much to overthink.

The club was loud and smoky. The air was filled with nicotine and weed, making it hard to breathe any oxygen in. The dance-floor was filled with people grinding and passing joints between one another. You recognised the music as Harry’s blasting through the speakers, making you chuckle at how you just couldn’t escape him.

Even though he was a complete arse, there was something so magnetic about him. He had this pull towards him that you’d never felt before for anyone else and you were enamoured. It helped that he was ridiculously pretty too.

The bar was packed but you managed to squeeze in a spot, between two men. Their bodies pressed against you and they smelt grossly of sweat, but what else did you expect from a night rave.

“What can I get for you flower?” The bartender asked you, noticing you in the sea of weirdly big men.

“Vodka cranberry please.”

“That all?” You nodded to him. “That’s 4.50 please.” He handed out his hand for you to hand over the money.

“I’ve got it.” Someone beat you to it and it turned out it was one of the men from beside you.

“Oh, thank you!” You smiled gratefully.

After getting your drink, you made your way to the dance-floor and started dancing to the music. It was a slow song to start off with, making you sip your drink and float around to the melody, before it changed to more upbeat and you were jumping up and down with no idea where the energy was coming from. You took a few puffs from a blunt rotation that was happening on the dance-floor, but after you’d finished your drink you were out of there in need of a rest.

The toilets were down a few corridors out the back, so you made your way down there. Stumbling was the word you’d rather use than walking, since the alcohol and weed were hitting you all at once. Lightweight.

“Looking for the toilets?”

You spun around and noticed the man that had bought your drink from before. He was a lot more sober than you, you could tell, which made his large frame intimidate you more than you would’ve liked.

“Yeah, they’re just this way I think.” You pointed down the hallway where a few girls were heading off to, because other than that your brain had no other intuition.

“No, there this way.” He pointed down a much darker hallway with no one else around.

“But they’re going that way.” You pointed to the girls, before looking back at him. You noticed that he had gotten a lot closer towards you.

“Well they’re going the wrong way.”

“Oh, okay.” You smiled, thinking he was being kind with his helpfulness.

He waved his arm as if to guide you down the corridor and you thanked him before ‘stumbling’ off again. Your heels on the ground and the constant buzzing sound inside your head left you unaware to the man following close behind. You kept walking down the corridor, becoming more and more confused as you didn’t see any doors or any toilet signs down here.

You stopped in the hallway near the end, coming to the realisation there were no toilets down here. You didn’t expect anyone to come up right behind you, so when you felt a man’s dick press hard into your back you let out a loud scream. The man grabbed one hand around your body to stop you from fleeing and the other hand went around your mouth to keep you from screaming anymore.

Once he had pressed your body up against the wall with a harsh push, you began to slowly sober up and realise the man had had bad intentions all along. Your head hit the wall with such force it was almost like the sobriety was knocked right back into you.

“Ssh, ssh. I’m just getting you to pay me back for that drink. You left without me letting you know that it wasn’t entirely for free.” He spoke as you struggled against his hold.

You moved your head to the side to see if there was anyone down the corridor that you could try and get the attention of. But there was no one. It was just you and this man that was most likely going to assault you. Did he know that you were under 21? Or did he not even care? Did he not have any human decency?

“Let me go.” You tried to scream as loud as you could, but it was muffled by his hand. It only made him hold you harder, with the grip on your hip so painful.

“I don’t think so. Now shut up and be a slut for me.”

He kept his hand over your mouth, not trusting you enough, before moving his other hand to push up your leg and underneath your dress. You kicked your legs as you tried to escape his hold, pushing with all the force you could, but he just kept on going.

You bit down on his hand, not even caring the taste of blood on your lips from how hard you’d bitten and although it made his hand leave your mouth his hands on your body remained hard enough for you to impossibly escape.

“Help! Please someone! Please!” You shouted down the hallway as loud as you could, before the man slapped you across the face and went back to holding his sore hand over your mouth. This time he pressed jaw-crushingly harder, so much so that it was difficult to breathe.

The tears running down your face stung from the running mascara and your cheek now throbbed from where he had backhanded you. You closed your eyes, continuously crying, when the realisation sunk in that no one was coming and you were going to become broken here. It was clear now that you were not meant for this kind of lifestyle, and possibly this world. If you were treated like this by one sober man, imagine what the next one would do. Your heart hurt as much as your face and hips did as you began thinking of all the reasons for why you deserved this.

As you’d gotten to reason number three you no longer felt the mans harsh body against yours. You opened your eyes instead to see him being pinned up against the wall on the opposite side, getting punched in the face. You recognised the back of his head from anywhere.

Harry.

The relief that sunk into your system was overwhelming. So much so that your legs lost their ability to hold you up and the next thing you knew, they collapsed from underneath you and you sunk to the floor. You didn’t care as to what Harry was doing to the man, too much in a state of shock and pain to do anything other than breathe.

It was a minute later that Harry knelt down in front of you. His face found yours, eyes meeting eyes. He held out his hands to show you that he was asking for your permission to touch you with your consent. You moved your shaky hand into his, not speaking a word. You were worried that if you said the wrong thing then something equally as terrible as before might happen.

“Y/N, honey, look at me. Hey.” He made sure that you were looking at him. Your watery eyes met his soft and heartbroken looking ones. The grip on his hands was hard enough for you to know he wasn’t leaving, but soft enough so it didn’t hurt.

“I-I’m sorry.” You whispered, feeling like you had to apologise.

“Don’t do that. Do not apologise. You hear me?” He spoke angrily, not willing to accept you apology on behalf of anybody.

“Sor--”

“No.” He shook his head. “This is not your fault, okay? Y/N, look at me. Look at me and tell me that this is not your fault.”

“T-this is not my f-ault.” You said shakily, finding it hard to believe your own words.

“No, it’s not.” He agreed with you. “I am going to help you up and we’re going to go someplace safer and quieter okay? Is that alright?”

You nodded, but Harry didn’t let you up until he had verbal confirmation. “Yes! Please Harry. I want to go home.” Your eyes welled up and you began to cry again.

“Okay. It’ll be okay.” He promised.

Before he picked you up, he took off his leather jacket and swung it over your shoulders for a bit more coverage of your body. After he was satisfied, he used his arms to hold you underneath your legs and your upper body so he could carry your bridle-style. Your head instantly went to rest on his chest, closing your eyes to eradicate the bad thoughts from your vision. Your tears were silent but Harry was aware how upset you were. He shouted at people to get out of his way as he brought you outside and into his car.

Some time later you found yourself awakening from the comfort of a king-size bed. You were confused and scared at the same time.

You immediately touched your fingers to your cheek to feel for a bruise and it was painfully there. You hands started to shake at the thought that all of that had happened and now you were in a strangers bed. Looking down at your clothes you were in a basic black t-shirt and black jogging pants. Your heartbeat started to increase over what had happened after you’d blacked out last night. When had you even blacked out?

As if to answer your questions the door to the bedroom suddenly opened and you curled yourself in a ball and pulled the covers higher. Your eyes softened though when you met Harry’s gaze. He was carrying a tray of something, but he stayed on the other side of the bedroom when he realised you were awake.

“Oh sorry. I thought you’d still be asleep.”

“I j-just woke up.”

“Well I made pancakes if you want any?”

“I’m not hungry.” You smiled kindly, wanting him to know you appreciated the effort anyways.

“That’s okay.” He smiled, placing the tray on the coffee table across the room from the bed.

“Did last night actually happen? A-and what happened to the man? How am I here in this bed and w-here even are we--”

“Y/N, woah woah.” He calmed you down, walking around the edge of the bed until he sat down at the foot of it. He made sure he kept his distance from you. “What do you remember?”

“Honestly, not much. Just pieces. I-I think he nearly touched me. He definitely slapped me and maybe he grabbed my hips.” You lifted the shirt to find finger print marks on your hipbone. They were intense and purple and it made your eyes water at the disgusting marks to your skin. “And you were there. You saved me.”

“I didn’t.”

“Wha... Harry, I remember you coming and pulling that... that man off of me and beating him to shit.” You furrowed your eyebrows, trying to think if maybe it hadn’t been Harry then who else it would’ve been.

“I was there. It was me. But I didn’t save you. If I did then you wouldn’t have any of those marks to your skin.” He said sadly, standing up and pacing intensely.

“Harry you can’t blame yourself for--”

“Well neither can you!” He shouted, running his hands through his hair.

“What?”

“Last night when we were driving home, you kept saying how you deserved what that man was doing to you. That you weren’t as perfect as your mum wanted you to be and that was the reason he went after you.” Harry let out a shakily breathe, before continuing to speak with a crack in his voice. “If I had gotten there two minutes later...”

“Stop Harry.” You shook your head, not wanting to thinking about the ‘if’s’. “Come here.” You patted the space of bed in front of you.

He was apprehensive at first, but when he sat down in front of you it was clear that he instantly relaxed. You sat up and reached for his hands in his lap, twisting your fingers around his until they were comfortably intertwined. You smiled when you caught his smile, knowing he felt exactly the same sparks ignite from your touch as you did his. His hands were so soft and yet so masculine at the same time, like he’d worked a lifetime and yet they were still so new.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

He let out a heavy breathe of air. “I should be asking you that.”

“Well too bad. I asked you first.” You bit your lip, stopping you from smiling like you had a high-school crush.

“You’re trouble you.” He shook his head. “I’m okay if you are, though.”

“That’s not what I was asking.”

“Well that’s how I’m answering.” He argues back and you admire how he’s returned to his stubborn self. It actually suits him.

He made you smile though, making you crash forwards and land your head on his lap. His hands quickly stabilise your body so that you can’t fall of his body or the bed. He liked the feeling of you so warm and comfortable around him. You felt like you were made just to fit beside him, at his side. His hands were hesitant to touch you at first, but you could see that he wanted to so you brought one of your hands to guide his to your neck. He found comfort there, caressing the soft skin.

“Thank you, for last night.” You said, thinking about how you hadn’t said it yet.

“Yeah.”

“Sorry if I ruined your night.”

“Will you stop apologising? I chose to help you. I chose to spend my night with you.”

“Why, though?” You asked, confused.

“Because believe it or not, I like you.” He sighed, as if the relief of keeping that a secret from you was finally free.

“Like me?”

“Like a lot.” He admitted, turning his pale cheeks pink.

“Me?”

“I feel like you’re missing the point here.” He laughed, stroking his thumb over your bruised cheek carefully as if his thumb was just going to magically wipe away the hurt.

“I feel like you are. Harry. You’re choosing to like me over... well like anyone else?” You sat up slightly, your face only inches from his.

“Why is that so hard to believe?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“Well, because... because-”

“If anything derogatory towards yourself leaves your lips then I’m going to have to kiss you just to prove my point.” He challenges and you take his bait.

“Because I’m quite literally a nobod-”

He kisses you hard. Hard enough for it to hurt your cheek, but also lovely enough for you not to care about your cheek. You let him kiss you because it had been the only thing on your mind since he had sat down next to you. His lips tasted just like his personality, hot but sweet. He was a good kisser, being extra slow, careful and tentative in case he caused anymore damage to you. His hand cupped your bruised cheek with so much care that you melted in a pool of love for him right then and there.

The kiss kept going until you both had to pull away to catch your breathes. It was hard to leave his lips, going back for a secondary peck because you couldn’t resist, but the smile on his face and the glisten in his eyes was worth it.

“Never thought I would say this but, thank you for saying something derogatory towards yourself!” He laughed breathlessly, still cradling your face like you were the most precious thing to behold.

Before you could say anything worse about yourself, he pre-empted that you were about to and instead found his lips straight back onto yours.

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