#canon accurate until after costume day

[oneatlatime]

Avatar Day

I'm back!

"A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Avatar" That wasn't just chance, was it? Wanna bet that it also wasn't just chance that Zuko was near enough to see the beam of light?

HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE TO BE ASLEEP FOR A SPIDER TO SET UP SHOP IN YOUR MOUTH?!?!?

"What are you doing in my mouth" is a sentence so ripe for innuendo-isation that my brain tripped over itself trying to come up with a dirty way to spin it.

Love the boundary talk too. I had no idea that kind of therapy speak was around in the early 2000s.

There has got to be a more efficient way of stopping someone who can canonically fly than pulling down a whole ass tree vaguely in their path. And how strong are these rhino things?

Did that mask guy just try to bomb a child?

Tee Hee. A Pee Pee.

Boomerang has to come back though. That what boomerangs do. I refuse to believe that boomerang is gone.

I guessed about halfway through season 1 that Zuko would have to go through some identity struggles in this show, but I was wrong! It's Sokka who gets to reevaluate his identity. Ponytail guy doesn't have the same ring to it.

Dingalings all over this episode.

I've been wondering why we weren't seeing more Avatar themed places and events. Granted, the avatar's been missing for a century, but in a world where there is recurring proof of a spiritually endowed god-like person's existence, I would expect more temples and Holy days. I mean, we can't even prove that any of our gods exist and we still commit to building megachurches. Imagine how easy it would be to fundraise to build a temple to an Avatar when there's the underlying threat that if you don't donate, the demigod in question could show up at your house.

Two things: first, there were some serious resources invested in these floats. Either this village is loaded or has priority problems. Second: Aang is now well enough known worldwide, that villages he's never been to can accurately depict his appearance, costume, and personality. It really never occurred to them to lay low, did it?

"That's the biggest me I've ever seen." I'm curious to know your sample size.

Sokka could totally carry a torch. It's the torch that wouldn't be worthy of the wielder.

That about sums up my reaction too.

Zuko's in this episode. Hi Zuko! I'd know that musical trill anywhere. When was the last time I saw Zuko?

So I know that Zuko's got a wisdom problem, but could he at least wait until after dark to rob people? While wearing a very recognisable costume that is prominently featured on its own Wanted poster? Just a little common sense I'm begging you.

So in character for it to be Katara who takes action first when Aang is insulted/has his effigy set on fire.

This guy is stupid right? Kyoshi was around at least, what - two hundred years ago? And there's been two avatars since, who as far as I can tell aren't Kyoshi reincarnated but are whole other people, and he's still blaming Aang for some rando's death?

Pro tip: anyone introduced with the expression "glorious leader" is invariably neither glorious nor a good leader. Good leaders don't need hyping up.

I was wondering if that little remark about water tribe money at the beginning of the episode was going to have a payoff. Every time I think it's simple worldbuilding, it turns out to be plot. This show is so neat.

The loss of boomerang is having unforseen effects on Sokka's mental state.

"I can't do that [save the world] with people thinking I'm a murderer either." Says Aang. "So what exactly do you think every earth kingdom and water tribe person assumes you're going to do to the Fire Lord?" Says I. To be clear, I don't want to watch a goofy 12 year old commit a war crime, but I guarantee that no one in the avatar world is under any illusions about any fire lord going quietly.

How does Aang know how do push the 'expert detective' button?

How long is Katara's arm?

Ok I'm guessing from Katara and Aang's reaction to the polar leopard boots story, that Aang knew that Sokka could be conned into helping with 'expert detective' talk, because Sokka has retold the polar leopard boots story 800 times.

Sokka understands the importance of looking the part! Hang on I got a gif for this.

Well-known top three rich person activity: money fondling.

Moneybags should have put those metal reinforcing struts on the roof too. He probably cheaped out.

Oh my GOD this is peak sibling energy. This is MY thing. No touch. ME DO. MINE. Yeah I know it's obvious to anyone with eyes but I'M THE ONE WHO GETS TO SAY IT OUT LOUD.

Loving the bubble pipe.

HYBRID ANIMAL

NOT A DRILL

Rat Elephant?

Too late my man. The only person who didn't see that is Aangy.

Super nitpick time! Why did they build a defensive stockade when there are highly climbable cliffs 50 feet away and the fire nation have cliff-climbing tanks?

Funny how the mayor guy says "clear her name." Aang wants to clear his own name, the mayor wants to clears Kyoshi's. At least some people get that avatars are different people.

Last visit to Kyoshi was: -Harassing local wildlife -Misogyny -Crossdressing -Burning down the whole village -Harassing local wildlife again

What in that list inspired Suki to change the world/fight in the war?

Respect the props Katara.

I found the sane people is this village! You know what I love? When they're listing Aang's good points, being the Avatar comes FORTH. They get that he's more than his title.

I'm sorry but I cannot believe that this painting, which lives in a building without a door, is three hundred years old. Unless that thing is behind 15 layers of varnish or invisible glass, humidity would have destroyed it in the first decade.

Katara getting ragdolled got a big laugh from me. Plus the follow up pipe to the noggin. Gotta love a sibling slap fight!

With that model of justice it's no wonder the sane ones are in jail.

Sounds like someone was chasing butterflies when he should have been paying attention...

Zuko again. I'd forgotten he was in this episode.

"There is a simple honour in poverty" is a good-sounding line, but I'd believe it more if it wasn't coming from a former crown prince who, until like three weeks ago, never wanted for anything.

Can someone please make Zuko aware of the fact that honour as a concept exists outside of an avatar-capturing context?

In my experience, the hope you give to yourself when there's no hope left is less hope and more spite. Still works though.

Was all that talk about not touching Kyoshi's things just talk, or did the water tribe siblings have to steal this stuff?

YES Sokka is RIGHT stuff has POWER.

Did Koh steal their brains as well as their faces?

The village idiots fucked around, and now they're gonna find out! this is going to be good.

So Chin the conqueror was about as smart as the people of his village. He really thought he could take on the Avatar?

Good Lord avatars can move tectonic plates?

She's blowing a continent. She sailed a continent. Without a sail.

Tiny Momo.

Badadss lady speech aside, it's pretty funny that Kyoshi used her ability to manifest to be the opposite of helpful.

Just when I thought he couldn't possibly get more stupid, he sinks to an even lower level of dumbass. Zuko sucks all the common sense out of any room he enters; the only thing that's kept him alive this long is being in proximity to the world's wisest man as balance. So what does Zuko do? Rides off into the sunset WITHOUT Iroh. Dumbass. I give him two days before he dies in a freak foraging accident. Dumbass.

SERIOUSLY. DUMBASS.

Never thought I'd be happy to see these guys, but here I am.

Petty Aang! I've never seen petty Aang before. Boy contains multitudes.

Screw artifact preservation.

Three of these jokes in a single episode. This episode does rather feel as though it was written with the brakes off.

The lead rhino takes one look at Aang and is like "I'm not going to mess with that. Let's burn down some buildings instead." Let the record show, the lead rhino has more sense than Chin the Conqueror.

I knew it! Boomerang came back!

Raw dough. Uncooked dough. Their new snack is salmonella. "This is by far the worst town we've ever been to." Thanks to Sokka for the thesis statement.

Final Thoughts

This episode was hot nonsense! And I love nonsense, but it's too far when I find myself rooting FOR the rhinos. To be clear, I loved this episode's humour and especially the sibling dynamic between Sokka and Katara. I've literally had that exact conversation with siblings, usually about who gets to be the one to tell Mom about the spectacular awesome thing we saw that totally wasn't our fault and that we totally saw without going somewhere we shouldn't have.

But! The villagers? Stupid. We cut to Zuko? Heretofore unseen levels of Stupid. Even Iroh was being stupid. You do have to let children learn things for themselves and make their own mistakes, but in enemy territory? With a documented history of dumbass behaviour? And a propensity for dressing as a wanted criminal, while also being a different wanted fugitive while out of disguise? Mark my words; it's going to end stupid.

I loved the C plot with Sokka and identity. It's funny how it parallels/speedruns the journey Zuko's going to have to end up doing at some point (he'd BETTER), although probably not in a single episode with goofy props. If only teenage identity crises were as easily solved as a returned boomerang.

That scene with Kyoshi sure was something, huh? I actually rewound and watched it twice through before I tried to comment on it, because I was too enthralled to do anything but watch.

If all Avatars can do what Kyoshi can do, then Aang is: a) nowhere near as developed an Avatar as I've been assuming, and b) going to be really really scary one day. Not sure how I feel about Scary Aang. Although petty Aang was fun.

I love monster of the week episodes with low stakes and high humour, but this one was had so much stupid coming at me from so many directions that it did get a little annoying. Still, I'll rewatch it. That Kyoshi bit was delicious.

[speedway-official-unofficial]

Ahem

*whips out my old document that I threw my interpretation of the lore in*

So this isn’t 100% accurate, since the lore isn’t expressed too directly enough, but this is what many people (including myself) have theorized. To any other fnaf enthusiasts, correct me if the timing of events/any statements are incorrect.

Ahem (a shit ton of text warning)

In the beginning, there was William afton, and Henry Emily. They are business partners, and began Fredbear’s family diner together. A diner with animatronic robots(Fredbear and Spring Bonnie) who double as human performer costumes. Those are springlock suits. William has three kids, and Henry has one. William and Henry work together for multiple years and their diner is successful. One year, 1983 to be specific, William’s youngest son’s birthday arrives. The exact date is unknown but people suspect it is some time in November. His birthday party is in the diner. His older brother, named Michael, is a jerk and likes to make fun of the youngest, whom I will call CC. Him and his friends wear masks of the four mascots, foxy, Bonnie, chica, and Freddy. On this specific day, the bullies plan on a prank, bringing CC closer to Fredbear, whom he OBVIOUSLY hates, despite owning and loving a plush of said character. After they successfully drag the poor kid closer, Michael has the GENIUS idea to throw CC INSIDE the mouth of Fredbear. That goes quite horribly, as the Bite of 83 occurs. The springlocks inside fredbear’s mouth fail and the upper jaw drops onto CC’s skull, crushing it, and killing him. This is the lore up until the end of fnaf 4. We are unsure if the nightmares are real, but we do know this is mostly canon.

 After the bite, the family was devastated. William began drinking, and one day while at the bar, he came up with an idea. -Henry, was responsible for the bite. He made Fredbear. It wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t make Fredbear. If Henry took his son away, he would take his daughter away.- So he drunk drove to the diner as fast as he could, and found Henry’s daughter, Charlie, sitting all alone outside the diner. He took her and stabbed her to death, and left her body in an alley on the side of the diner. Soon, the Security Puppet, an animatronic responsible for keeping the children in the diner in check, learned of her being missing and left the diner in search of Charlie. The puppet found her body, and laid next to it, in the heavy rain. Charlie’s soul attached to the puppet. Henry didn’t take long to notice Charlie’s disappearance, but did not think to blame William at the time. William found satisfaction in killing during the incident with Charlie. He soon lured five children in the diner into a back room while wearing a Spring Bonnie suit, and killed them. This became known as the missing children incident.

  Time went by, investigations went by, the culprit was never caught. The case went cold. The children were stuffed in the animatronic suits. They were never found. In the meantime, the children’s souls attached to the robots. Years went by. Eventually, William returns. He disassembled the robots, hiding in the safe room. After being disassembled, the souls had nowhere to stay. They found William in the safe room. They entered, and blocked the exits. William could see them. He was horrified, unable to cope with the consequences of his actions. A lone spirit emerges from the ones at the door, and starts approaching William. Terrified, he backs away. The spirit responds by approaching him. When he reaches the wall, he sprints to the other side. The soul follows him. They continue this exchange of fleeing and following for a bit. Then, William sees the Spring Bonnie suit, laying in the safe room. He runs to it and puts it on, and he then believed he was safe. Laughing in triumph at the souls, they watched him. What he didn’t know, was the fact the springlocks in the suit were about to go off. And so they did. They punctured his body, organs, face and eyes. Blood spilled everywhere. His skeleton was crushed and shattered. His vocal cords were cut. He could not scream in agony, no matter how much he tried. He died. Never to leave that safe room. Soon, a false wall was put up to cover the room he was in. This, is the end of William Afton’s legacy, right?

No. It is not. That comes later though. For now, the second game is what happens next, taking place in 1987. A prequel, for some reason.

So, a while after the Diner closed down (which likely happened some time after the bite) Fazbear Entertainment began a new restaurant. Not very sure when Fazbear Entertainment began as it is very unclear in the games, but it did happen. They revamped an old Freddy’s pizzeria, and replaced the old Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy with new versions. The Toy animatronics. Toy Foxy, also known as Funtime Foxy (not related to the Funtime Foxy from fnaf 5), was torn apart by kids constantly. The workers got tired of repairing them, so they just left Foxy to become who we now know as “The Mangle''. With this, the Night Guard named Jeremy Fitzgerald begins working. He eventually comes by during the day, and (this is unconfirmed, but just my theory) the Mangle bites out Jeremy’s frontal lobe. This was the Bite of 87. We are unsure why this happened. After just a week of opening, the location gets shut down.

In what people speculate to be 1987 as well, Michael Afton returns. This time, he is now older and is now working at a “Sister Location” (wink wink) to Freddy’s, known as Circus Baby’s Entertainment and Rental. Now a security guard, Michael goes through 3 nights of Circus Baby’s night shift, where every night was unique. He spent 4 nights and Circus Baby guided him through each one. On the fifth, he meanders his way through the Funtime Auditorium and is met with Circus Baby. He sends her to a place called “The Scooping Room”, where he has been before. He was kidnapped by CB and taken there between nights 3 and 4. This time, she leads him to the Scooping Room for some reason, and is in front of the “Scooper”. The Scooper’s main function is removing the metal endoskeleton of the Funtime animatronics using its ice cream scoop-like build. And Michael is sitting right in front of it. Baby goes off on a rant about escaping the underground facility where they are kept, and how they can’t go anywhere looking how they do. Baby is not the one talking though. All the funtime animatronics have been scooped. Their endoskeletons merged into one amalgam named Ennard. Ennard tells Michael how they must look like him to escape. Ennard then activates the Scooper. After it is finished doing its thing, Ennard crawls inside Michael’s now gutted body and wears it. They escape, but a while later, get regurgitated. Michael did not die, and now possesses his rotten corpse. This is the end of Sister Location.

Now, there is not much to go over for fnaf 1, which takes place in 93, so I will skip over that one for now.

In around 2023, a new Fazbear’s themed horror attraction opens up, called Fazbear Frights. Michael, who is still alive, takes the job as the security guard. Or, we assume it is Mike, as there is no confirmed name tied to the Fnaf 3 guard. But either way, he gets a job there. The systems are very old, and it's kind of cheesy, but it's decent pay. The second night he spends, an animatronic was brought in, which just so happened to be the remains of William merged with the animatronic parts of the Spring Bonnie suit he died in. Neither of them recognized each other. Michael learns he can disorient the robot by playing sounds of children on the various speakers around the building. This robot is named Springtrap. After several days, the entire building is lit on fire. Fazbear Frights burns to the ground, with Springtrap inside. This surely must be the end of William, right?

Years later, Michael begins his own restaurant with the Fazbear company. He begins to recycle old animatronics found in the back alley for parts. He begins with a pile of wires with a freddy head called Molten Freddy. He receives instruction from a mysterious voice in a cassette tape, playing “audio prompts” and recording how Molten Freddy reacts to them. He successfully obtains the robot and it gets into his vents. Michael gets a ball pit for his restaurant. He does his daily duties in a room surrounded by vents, where Molten Freddy hides. He fends it off and completes his duties and logs off. The next day, he scraps one named Scraptrap. Sound familiar? William escaped the fire. He is now sat in front of Michael. The same cassette man instructs him on how to salvage William. Michael succeeds and Scraptrap enters the vents. Michael goes through his duties. The next day, Scrap Baby is salvaged. This is the remains of Circus Baby, who was ejected from Ennard. What I failed to mention before, was William had a daughter as well. This daughter was killed by Circus Baby, and now possesses her. The daughter is named Elizabeth. Scrap baby is salvaged and enters the vents. The next day, Michael salvages a robot named “Lefty”. Lefty is salvaged and enters the vents. Lefty is a robot who was designed to capture the Marionette, who is possessed by Charlie Emily. Molten Freddy is the remains of Ennard. All the salvaged animatronics are possessed. On Saturday, Michael does his daily duties, but instead of leaving when he is finished, Elizabeth, or Scrap Baby begins speaking to Mike. She explains how this was all a gift for her, so she can be what her father was, a murderer. As she rambles, the Cassette man interrupts her, and calls her Elizabeth. A fire breaks out, and the Cassette man, who is actually none other than Henry Emily, explains how this was all a setup in order to free the souls trapped inside the scrapped animatronics. He tells William that there is a special hell waiting for him when the smoke clears. He addresses his daughter, Charlie/Charlotte Emily and explains how he regrets not being there for her when she died. He says there was a way out planned for Michael, but he knows Mike wants to stay, and Henry will stay as well. They will all burn together, and end this legacy of Freddy’s, once and for all. Burning the memories. Everything will be settled.

What even is a fazbear…

[anarcoqueer1994]

Please Don't Go: Chapter 2, First Date

Still working on my next chapter for my platonic Trans Tarty fic but since this is all written and I'm just sharing on here, hear is this in the meantime. I wrote it a while ago. Hope you like it!

Cyrus Goodman had asked TJ Kippen to be his boyfriend one month ago today .

TJ still could not believe it. Cyrus was everything he has ever wanted. He was sweet, smart, cute, and he cared for TJ in a way no one has before. But TJ would be lying if he said this month hasn’t been an emotional trip. On one hand, things with Cyrus have never been better. In public, it seemed like their "friendship" was just as strong as it has always been. The only difference being that both boys seemed more aware of their own bodies.

They were more self conscious of all the little touches that come so natural for them. They would notice their arms swinging too close together, their hands lingering a little too long when they would touch, and even their eyes staring at the other boy. This used to seem so normal for them, but now that they were dating, it became almost scary to do these things. Both of them were not ready to come out. The only people that knew Cyrus was gay were Andi, Jonah, Buffy, and obviously, TJ. For TJ it was even less, as the only people that knew were Cyrus and TJ’s older sister, Amber. And absolutely nobody knew that they were dating.

After what Kira started, neither one of them wanted to accidentally out each other by acting like more than friends. That’s why their little touches and lingering eyes became such an issue. Kira could obviously tell how the boys felt about each other within moments of hearing them interact with one another. What if others could tell too?  They decided that the best thing they could do to keep their secret was to place boundaries between them when they are with other people.

On top of this, Kira is also not letting up on TJ. She is constantly trying to get into TJ’s head. The coach told her that since there is girl’s team, she cannot be on the boy’s team. So now instead of putting her energy towards getting on the team, she is focusing all her time on tormenting him. She will wait for him to be alone and remind him that he is different. She will sometimes bring up how weird it is that he and Cyrus are so close. She would do little things to hurt him. Anything she does in front of others is so subtle, that others don't notice. For example she brings up cute girls while talking to him around other students, and puts him in awkward situations. For a random onlooker, it would look like small talk, but TJ knows she is doing it to get a rise out of him. He doesn't know why she enjoys making him feel bad. The one upside is that Kira has no proof that he and Cyrus are together, so for now at least, his bullying is private. TJ prefers that to the whole school knowing.

He doesn't tell Cyrus that Kira is still bothering him either. TJ does not want  him to worry. Besides Cyrus had his own things to deal with. For one, since they haven't told the GHC(+Jonah), that they are dating, they could not really explain what led to them being friends again. He could feel their glares whenever he would hangout. Part of him gets it though. To them, he was a jerk who keeps letting down their best friend. But nevertheless, Cyrus is now stuck in the middle. He has to keep their secret while defending TJ. Cyrus wanted his boyfriend to be able to hangout with his friends without them hating him, even if they did not know that they are dating. TJ kind of felt guilty for putting Cyrus in this situation in the first place by ever giving them a reason to be mad.

Despite all of this trouble, TJ would not trade this past month for anything. No matter what was happening with other people, when they were alone, it made it all worth it. Sometimes they would escape to the swings, and just spend hours talking, and if they were sure no one was watching, they would steal gentle kisses. Sometimes, they would take over TJ's apartment when both his parents and sister were at work. They would cuddle on the futon in the living room and binge TV shows together. It really didn't matter where they were, as long as they were alone together, it was like they were the only people who existed.

Cyrus really did make him the happiest he has ever been. His beautiful, dorky boyfriend always knew the right thing to say to make him feel like he really mattered. That is why today, on their one month anniversary, he wants to make Cyrus as happy as Cyrus makes him feel everyday. It is a Saturday but he put the first part of his plan into action the day prior.

************

Yesterday had been a particularly hard day for him. Kira was in his math class. Usually she ignored him and waited until after to torment him but that day she started at him early. She had sat behind him. They were assigned some in class problems to do. She was pretty good at math and wanted him to feel even worse. Whenever she noticed he was struggling, she would say stuff like “Only an idiot could mess up this problem” and “Wow these are so easy!” She would only say it loud enough for him to hear.He had been working so hard in math and she was able to dash any confidence he may have felt about being able to do a problem. He ended up losing his temper, crumbling up his paper, and turning in nothing. He could not even look at Coleman as he left.

He had walked home with Cyrus, Buffy, Andi, Marty, and Jonah. Cyrus’ friends didn’t help his mood, but to not worry Cyrus, he pretended to be oblivious.  He could tell the others did not want him there but Cyrus kept smiling at him with his big brown eyes glowing, so he could ignore the annoyed looks. Eventually everyone broke off heading to their respective homes, leaving him to walk with Cyrus the rest of the way to Cyrus’ stepmom’s house. As they stepped onto the porch, TJ nervously smiled

“What is it, Teej? “ Cyrus said as he swung his hand up gently to take TJ’s as they stood across from each other. Both boys instinctively looked around to make sure no one was watching.

“Nothing, Muffin.” He noted the way Cyrus still blushed when he called him that. He liked that he had that effect on the guy that he cared so much for. “I am so happy whenever I am around you.So…” He let his words han in the air for a moment. ‘I was wondering if you would go on a date with me, tomorrow?”

“Like a real date?” Cyrus furrowed his brow in a way that makes TJ swoon every time. Cyrus’ voice though was unsure as he continued. “Aren’t dates out in the public? What if someone sees us?”

“Don’t worry, I have that covered, just be at the bus stop on Main Street at 9am tomorrow, “ TJ saw the look of curiosity in Cyrus eyes as they've stared at each other. “It is going to be a surprise, I know you are going to love it.”

Cyrus smiled and nodded. “Alright I trust you. I have to head in. See you tomorrow?”

“Yea, tomorrow." TJ grinned like an idiot, before placing a light kiss on top of Cyrus’ head, and turning to walk away.

************

The big city nearest to them was about a 30 minute bus ride from Shadyside. That is why TJ asked Cyrus to meet him here at the bus stop.  Cyrus had gotten there at 9am sharp, to find TJ waiting on the bench. He took a seat next to his boyfriend, careful not to sit too close in case someone was watching. TJ turned his head and smiled at the other boy.

"Hey Underdog," He lowers his voice. "Happy one month of officially being us."

Cyrus liked the way that TJ remembered something as small as a one month anniversary. He loved that TJ wanted to make today special for him. He whispers "Happy Anniversary Not-So-Scary Basketball Guy."

Both boys sat in a comfortable silence as they waited for the bus. TJ knew Cyrus wanted to ask where they were going but both boys knew TJ wasn’t going to budge. All he wanted to do was surprise Cyrus with the best date ever. When the bus pulled up to the stop, both boys got on with TJ paying both their fares. He had saved all his money from the gym(he only worked 12 hours a week) the past month to pay for this date. Cyrus was usually picking up the tab because he knew the Kippen family wasn’t nearly as well off as him. But today TJ wanted to handle everything.

As they took their seats in the back, TJ slid into the window seat. He looked out the window and noticed clouds overtaking the sun. Great, rain . He thought sarcastically. He thought about what else may come if it storms. He was a little nervous, but brushed it off. He turned to Cyrus, who was smiling obliviously, and said "There goes that sunny day."

"It is okay, as long as I am with you, it doesn't matter. Today will be great." With that, TJ melted. Cyrus always knew what to say to make him feel better.

************

When they got out the city, it was still so cloudy. It looked like it would storm any moment. TJ pleads with the weather quietly to hold off until they get to where they are going. The bus stop is a block away from where are heading. No one knows them here and TJ is excited to actually go on a real date with Cyrus. He smiles at the shorter boy as they step off the bus. As they stand on the crowded sidewalk, TJ takes Cyrus' hand. He stares for a moment to make sure it is okay. When Cyrus does not pull away, TJ takes that as a hint to start walking. Both boys felt a little braver out here where no one knew them.

TJ pulls Cyrus down the street, weaving in and around people coming towards them. As they get closer to the mystery place, TJ gets more excited, and by the look on Cyrus' face, he feels the same. After a few minutes, the place comes into view. TJ stops at the bottom of a large set of steps. Cyrus' eyes grow large as he looks up at the building before them; The Natural History Museum.

Teej! Really?! I love this place. I haven't been here in years." His eyes light up as he gets more excited. "You are amazing."

"I'm glad you are happy. I figured you could show me all your favorite dinosaurs." TJ smiles softly. "Let's go." TJ pulls him up the stairs. He pulls the tickets out of pocket and hands them to the man near the door.

As they enter the museum, they are immediately surrounded by large skeletons of animals that long been dead. TJ doesn't think he has ever seen Cyrus look so excited. He begins to talk about all the different types of dinosaurs, and the time periods, and everything else that at one point TJ wouldn't of cared about. He is pretty sure Cyrus could make him care about anything.

They wander around the museum for about an hour. Rain had steadily started hitting the rooftop,  the small droplets working together to echo through the museum. It was raining pretty heavy now, and TJ silently began to get nervous again of what will come next. Cyrus noticed the tension in TJ's face and stopped talking about the Allosaurus skeleton they were staring at.

"What is it?" He said quietly to the slightly older boy.

"Nothing..." He lies. Right as the word leaves his mouth, a loud burst of thunder sounds, shaking the museum. TJ instinctively clenches his eyes shut and squeezes Cyrus' hand harder than intended. His cheeks turn red as he notices Cyrus staring.

"I'm sorry..." he whispers, almost too quiet to hear. TJ looks away while still holding Cyrus' hand. Another burst of thunder sounds, making TJ tense again.

"Teej" Cyrus reaches up to his face to get him to turn his head. When he sees TJ's eyes, he recognize fear in his beautiful green eyes. He hates to see his boyfriend afraid. "Are you afraid of thunder?"

TJ looks embarrassed. He can't bring his mouth to form the words he wants to say. He knows Cyrus won’t judge him for something like this. But he is not used to being the one with irrational fears. He wishes he wouldn’t wince every time the thunder boomed. He can’t help it. He has been afraid of thunder for as long as he can remember. He doesn't know what about it makes him feel so helpless. Most of the time, he finds himself hiding under his covers with his eyes shut, waiting for the storm to end. But he can’t do that now. All he can do is try and put on a brave face and ride it out.

Cyrus interrupts his thoughts. “It's okay to be afraid, you know?” His voice is soft and understanding. “I’m afraid of a whole lot of things. Remember the flamingos? That is way weirder” He laughs trying to cheer TJ up. TJ wishes Cyrus wouldn’t put himself down, though. This day was supposed to be all about Cyrus, but here he was trying to make TJ feel better. TJ felt a little bad about that but could not focus on that very long.

The thunder hits again, this time even louder. The storm must be pretty bad. TJ wishes he could disappear so Cyrus wouldn't see him like this. He was supposed to be the cool, fearless jock but right now he felt like a wimp. He wanted to always be brave in front of his boyfriend. Cyrus doesn't seem to care though. He is only concerned with being there for TJ.

Cyrus runs his thumb soothingly over the TJ's strained knuckles. He whispers "I have an idea…", before pulling TJ to a little bench off to side of one of the large skeletons. He pulls out a pair of earbuds from his pocket and plugs them into the jack in his phone. Cyrus flips through his Spotify with his free hand as TJ sits apprehensively by his side, squeezing his hand with every boom from outside. Cyrus settles on a playlist called "Songs That Make Me Think of TJ". TJ sees the name, and for a moment he smiles, before the thunder outside reminded him of its presence.

"Put these on, sweetie." Cyrus says quietly, careful not to draw attention to them. He would hate to embarrass TJ. He knows the other boy is feeling self-conscious about his fear. TJ takes the earbuds and puts them in his ears. TJ trusts Cyrus more than anyone in the world, so he will do whatever Cyrus says. With that, Cyrus hits play and turns the volume all the way up. He takes his other arm out of TJ’s hand and wraps it instead around TJ's waist pulling him close to him, and holding tight like he will never let go.

The loud, bubbly music blocks out  a lot of the noise from the thunder. Cyrus’ arm wrapped around him, pulling him impossibly close, gives him something else to think about.They sit their for a while. Though the museum is full of people, it feels like they are alone there. His heartbeat is still crazy fast, but the reason is much different now.It was no longer pounding because of fear. Instead it is fluttering from the nerves he feels because of Cyrus. He feels so lucky to have him in his life. He blushes as he listens to the songs that he know Cyrus picked out for him.

What he doesn’t notice, is how happy Cyrus seems to be because of him. Cyrus is just staring at  him, smiling as he holds the taller boy against him. Cyrus hopes that TJ knows that this relationship is not one sided. TJ truly makes him happy. That’s why he was so worried when TJ was scared. He never wants fear to cloud over those soft, green eyes. He will personally fight away any fear for his boyfriend.

After about forty minutes, the storm has seemed to pass. TJ had taken to leaning his head against Cyrus’ shoulder, even if some slouching was involved to get into that position. Cyrus almost hates to end this but know TJ has other plans for them. He softly shakes TJ o get his attention. The boy takes out the earbuds and sits up. Cyrus grins and says “The storm is over, how are you feeling?”

“Much better…” He blushes and looks at the ground. “Thank you...for..um...making me feel safe.” TJ internally rolls his eyes at his own words. Why did he say that out loud. He sounded so weak.

“No need to thank me. What are boyfriends for, right?”  Cyrus’ smile could light up the entire room.

“Right.” TJ really can’t understand how Cyrus manages to make him feel so great, even when he wants to feel bad about himself. He thought about telling Cyrus about what was going on at school. He decided against it though. He already made too much of this date about himself. He stands up, and grabs Cyrus hand again. “Let’s get back to these dinosaurs. There are so many you still have not told me about.”

************

After spending a few more hours at the museum, the boys headed to a restaurant around the corner and had lunch. They strolled through the city for a bit before realizing it was close to 5 and that they should be at least heading back to their town. On the bus ride back, Cyrus rested his head on TJ’s shoulder. Usually Cyrus would be worried about this but today he was feeling a little braver than usual.

TJ walked Cyrus home after they got off the bus. Cyrus’ street seemed vacant when they turned onto it, so they risked locking their pinkies together as they walked. TJ felt like he was on top of the world. Even with the thunder earlier, today had felt like the perfect day. He kept shooting glances over at Cyrus, taking in every detail. He memorized the way Cyrus looked right now with the late day sun shining through the trees onto him. He almost looked angelic, like he was too good to be a mere human.

Without thinking, TJ stops and cups Cyrus’ cheek, making it so they are staring at each other. He just needed to get a better look. TJ surveyed every part of the shorter boy’s face. It was like everytime he looks, he finds something else to love about it. He felt like the brown eyes staring back at him could peer into his very soul. The boys stay frozen in this stance until they hear a soft rustle of some bushes. They both immediately retract from each other, and look around. Neither of them see anyone, but they keep their distance the rest of the walk home, just in case. TJ silently beats himself up for slipping like that. He can’t be so careless.

As they step up onto Cyrus’ front porch, they can finally breathe again. They are covered by a large tree in his front yard that blocks parts of the porch. “Thank you for a wonderful time today, Teej.” Cyrus smiles.

“I should be thanking you, You really came through for me today.” TJ used this as opportunity to show Cyrus how thankful he really was. He leans in and brushes his lips against Cyrus, waiting for permission to deepen the kiss. Cyrus responds by pulling him closer, pushing their lips together more. They eventually had to come up for air, and pulled apart.

“Wow, I don’t think I am ever going to stop being nervous when you do that.” Cyrus said blissfully.

“Right back at you, Underdog.”

Tag List" Let me know if you want to be added or removed. @abg-blah @kippens-a-goodman (Did not know if you wanted to be here or just the other story. I will totally remove if you didnt want to be tagged.)

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

The IMP + Striker team with an S/o which is actually a symbiote who stole someone's body to keep them - reference to Venom. Have a nice day

With a symbiote S/O

Blitzø

You werent quite sure what you were were begin with.

You were hoping for something cool. But instead, you got this strange black blob.

And while you quickly resigned yourself to being little more then an MMO Slime, you quickly found your true form when you decided to try and attack some dick that stepped on you.

But instead of just grabbing or latching onto him, like you expected. Instead you just... merged, slipping in through the skin.

From there, using both manipulation and easily took over his body, getting unfettered access to his thoughts and memories.

You learnt a lot in a short time, you easily draining his body of its hormones, your new forms seeming food of choice, before jumping to the next guy.

You did this again and again till you found a host you liked, keeping them for a bit.

The main issue was, whenever you possessed a new demon you tended to... change them.

They became a black and white, bigger and stronger, muscle bound form, you covering there body instead of just occupying it.

And sure, you made due. Its not like people weren't used to being around giant freakish monsters. But you'd like to be able to enter a building normally.

And sometimes you wouldn't even take over they're minds, just riding along, sometimes even talking to them. Although those were exceptionally rare.

You even helped out a few people, which felt kinda nice, helping them get there shit together. But eventually, after draining another shmuck, you'd jump onto an Imp.

And amazingly, for you at least, they'd be the first demon you could control your form, just looking like a regular Imp. None of that giant black demon form.

Youd live the high life, or rather afterlife. Not having to worry about death, and with ridiculous abilities, you were top of the food chain, becoming stronger with each host drained.

And it would be not long after taking a new host, choosing an Imp you fancied, that you ran into Blitzø.

Now your current host was a particularly handsome one, and Blitzø was quick to notice as much.

Now you'd had plenty of "fun" with your hosts bodies. Even before you could hide your blackened demonic form.

And you quickly took a liking to Blitzø right back.

Now your relationship would initially consist of you just fucking around, you using your unnatural stamina and your many tentacles, to be a beast in the sheets.

And that's not even considering when you went full monster mode, being taller and larger in every aspect. Including stamina.

But in between the regular romps, you found yourself spending an unusual amount of time with him, the two of you even starting to take jobs together.

It was easy for you, being practically invincible, so long as your host was well fed and you only fed from it at a reasonable rate.

And you really did vibe with Blitzø.

He was always living in the moment, and given your literal body-to-body style of living, you got along like a house on fire.

You and him spent increasingly longer periods together, until you were basically a couple. You'd even meet Loona, the girl pretty much acting like her usual self.

But the longer you were together, the more anxious you became about your true nature.

Youd never used one host for so long and had to actually care for it, making sure they were fed and cared for, which wasnt impossible, but it was a big step up from your usual jumping to a new form every few months. Sometimes weeks.

And you were scared of what would happen if Blitzø found out.

But unfortunately for you, before you could fix that situation, you didn't really have a choice on the matter.

It was during a job, you burst in as you always did, killing as you pleased, But this time, you were met with a literal Canon.

Said Canon being loaded with seemingly whatever they had lying about, and well, getting hit gave you a pretty accurate Swiss cheese costume.

That's when Blitzø burst in, killing the rest of them and freaking out over you.

You tried to heal yourself, using up every drop of hormone and life essence you could. And while you healed up some of the worse holes... it just wasn't enough.

Blitzø was freaking out, desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

And seeing as your vessel was destroyed, and there weren't any others, you effectively had no choice.

You left the body, morphing into a skeletal creature that may or may not have looked like something from a nightmare.

So, seeing that, partially on impulse, and mostly from fear, you jumped him.

You occupied his body, being very careful not to touch his mind, before calmly comunicating with him, trying to calm him down.

Once Blitzø stopped freaking out, you slowly left his body, making yourself a small, harmless blob.

Blitzø just froze, staring at you as you calmly explained that that was the real you. Telling him how you had jumped from body to body for years, but when you met him... you stuck yo that form, wanting to be with him.

You were scared... for the first time in your existence. You were scared he would fear you.

Think you were some evil parasite.

That he'd hate you.

Blitzø didn't say anything for a long time, before he demanded you prove it. Prove that you were actually the demon he loved.

So, after a few moments, you slithered off.

Blitzø following after, staying close until you encountered another Imp. Before they even knew what happened, youd possessed them, easily taking control of there form.

You turned to Blitzø, and after several long moments, you apologised. Telling him you were so sorry for lying. For hiding it from him.

And as you took a step towards him, Blitzø demanding you prove it was you.

So, you told him about your first date. The first time you kissed. That time you fucked him on the bus. The funny thing blitzø does with his tail when he sleeps.

You told him how amazing and funny you though he was, how much you loved his little twitches and oddities, the way he rubbed his knees together before kissing him.

And like that, you were kissing.

It may have been a new body, and different lips.

But you had only one kiss.

After parting, Blitzø asked if you had other proof, to which you changed form, becoming your demonic form. Blitzø accepted that as enough.

After that your relationship was on the Highburner.

Now that he knew about your true form, you could freely jump body to body. You'd take whatever form you fancied, although you'd often let Blitzø choose your next body, often times occupying powerful and wealthy people, using up all their wealth and resources to live high in the moment.

Your sex life was amazing. You able to take any form that caught your fancy, taking them over and having, just... just the most amazing sex.

And sure it was crazy, and psychotic, and Blitzø developed a major tentacle fetish after you possessed him and essentially fucked him with tendrils out of his own body.

But it was still all amazingly Romantic. The two of you having probably the most sexually charged romance in Hell.

Millie

Youd actually met Millie not long after she'd moved to Pride, the two of you quickly hitting it off.

Your mutual free spirited nature and live in the moment mentality ensuring you got on like a gas leak and a lit match.

It was explosive.

Your current vessel was rather alluring, and Millie was happy to indulge in your forms more... sensual features.

You were a wild couple, living in the moment.

The only issue was, well, your form.

You were used to jumping from body to body, and once it was damaged, you'd just move to another.

But with your relationship with Millie, it meant you needed to keep your body alive.

You needed to feed it and fix it, Something you usually only did when you really liked the vessel.

And you had no idea tending to a body was so difficult. But you found yourself falling for Millie, so you kept it up.

And your relationship was went really well, so well in fact, you were considering just telling her about your true form.

Of course, that was until you were hit by a truck, pancaking yourself across the pavement.

Millie was understandably horrified, the person she was falling for had died in front of her. But was understandably shocked to see a black ooze moving from your form, the black goo morphing into a little blob, said blob talking to her.

She was surprisingly calm about the whole thing. The woman listening to your explained that the blob was your true form.

You were basically a parasite, hoping from form to form without much consideration.

But then you met her, and... you fell for her. Hard.

You explained you were scared she'd feel betrayed at your true nature.

There was several moments of silence before Millie smiled.

Millie told you it was a lot, and she couldn't blame you for being scared, she'd probably be the same if it were the other way. But she loved you, and she wanted to be with you regardless of your form.

You stayed with Millie, your relationshipstrangely growing stronger, the Imp actually helping you choose your next host, you hoping In and taking control.

It was awkward, standing before her as someone else, but the Imp'et just gave you a gentle kiss, the two of you encased in a warm hug, and all that sappy crap.

You were in love with the Wrath girl and regardless of your form, she loved you, through and through.

Moxxie

Moxxie actually figured out your true nature pretty early into your relationship.

His pension for music meant he was most likely to produce the frequency that could hurt you, and well, once forced outside of your current host it became obvious that you weren't what you claimed to be.

Let's just say, it was an ordeal.

It was a lot of yelling, screaming, accusations and eventually tears.

After enough screaming, Moxxie would settle and let you explain yourself, you telling him all about how you were pretty much a ball of black goo that hopped body to body.

It would take some convincing. Actually, a metric shit ton of Convincing.

You had to recite your entire relationship to the man. Going into great detail on your first date, what you ate, the taste of the cheap wine he'd felt self concious for ordering.

The feeling his suite jacket in your hands as you slow danced late into the night.

By the End, Moxxie was convinced, but couldn't help but wonder why you hadn't told him before.

With a sigh, you explained.

You told him about how you'd lived a long long time as essentially a body snatcher. Hopping body to body without a care in the world.

Moxxie was surprisingly calm about the whole thing, the demon having a rather open mind, at least after you proved without a reason of a doubt you were in fact the person he fell for.

There was quite the learning curb, the both of you having to adjust to your new reality.

Moxxie especially had to get used to you taking a new form every month or so.

But over all, you still had a beautiful relationship. And sure, there was a long while when Moxxie endure some... uncertainty, especially the first time you came home in a new form without him knowing, intent on surprising him with a newer, sexier body.

But the two of you having a very deep, very intimate relationship. So much so, you'd often occupy his body when you were getting... Frisky. Or just wanting to spend some time together. There being a whole slew of things you could do to him from within.

Or, you'd just take control of his body while allowing him to still see and feel everything.

It was very intense~

You had an admittedly odd relationship, but excluding a few incidents when Moxxie played an instrument that was just a note too high, you had a perfect relationship, truly loving each other.

Loona

Loona fell for you pretty fast.

You were a carefree, confident, live in the moment person. And for a teen girl like herself, that was every kind of attractive.

You met at a "party". Although, it was more like a bunch of teens huddling around a open bar. Said open bar only being open die to the owner recently not living.

So, having just jumped into the body of a particularly handsome and in shape Hellhound, you decided to hang around, drinking down the swill one might call alcohol.

Youd hang about for a while till you ran into a beautiful young thing.

She stood no chance when you turned up the charm, the two of you talking, drinking long into the night, the two of you really seeming to click.

And eventually you'd take her back to your place.

It technically wasn't yours, it was a previous hosts that you particularly liked, and as such made sure to keep in order. Paying rent and such.

You took her back to yours and how shall I put this?

You really embraced the teenage spirit.

You both awoke the next morning thoroughly exhausted and hungover, although you handled it significantly better then she did.

And so after making the two of you breakfast, you sat down and ate.

The girl was a little stand-offish, clearly intimidated by your rather luxurious apartment and dashing good looks.

So, you broke the ice, asking about herself.

She was awkward at first, But quickly seemed to warm to you the more you spoke. The girl telling you she worked at an assassination firm. Which was cool.

Eventually the young lady asked how you could afford such a place, you telling her simply how it wasn't originally your, but one of your other hosts had it and you just made sure it was kept in order.

Loona seemed very confused, just staring at you, brow raised. Seeing this you went on to explain yourself.

You didn't do such often, but you figured she wasn't important enough to be a real threat. So you explained how it all worked, your possessing and controlling a host, and once you were done with them or they were too damaged, you'd just jump to another body.

Simple as that.

Despite what you'd thought, Loona seemed deeply intrigued, asking you many more questions about it all.

Eventually you just decided to show her, shifting your form into your larger, black and white demonic form.

Loona was... surprisingly excited about the whole thing, telling you it was awesome. At least once she'd finished blushing her fuzzy face off.

The two of you would become intimately acquainted with one an other, starting a rather heated affair.

Youd naturally keep it a secret from her dad, Loona not wanting Blitzø to try and kill you.

But other then balancing your relationship in secret, everything went pretty smooth.

Between you going out on the town, your frequent romping and just general relationship time together, you were head over heels for each other.

Of course the first time you'd changed bodies was a bit of a shock for the young lady, and had an adjustment period. But you had allowed her to pick your next host which did help normalise it in her mind. The young lady picking a very handsome Incubus, you being sure to use the Sex-Demons abilities to the fullest later that night.

Striker

Striker, you'd actually met in Blob form.

After a few years of harvesting demons, you could last quite a while outside a body, and seeing as your last host had spontaneous keeled over, you were on the prowl.

And wouldn't you know it, you just happened to come across a rather bad ass looking Imp.

You quickly approached, but suddenly, the Imp spun around, pistol drawn.

The Imp stared at you for several moments, you staring back, genuinely surprised he'd seen you.

You stared at each other a few more moments before he lowered his gun, getting down on one knee, he cocked a brow, wondering aloud what you were.

You stared back for a single moment before leaping on him. The Imp recoiled, raising a arm in defence, which just let you slide in through his arm, quickly occupying his body.

You quickly reached the brain, taking a look about.

Sifting through his memories you found a rather interesting life, especially for an Imp.

Damn, he even wanted to hunt Royalty. Now that's some ambition.

As you were looking about, you were suddenly asked a question.

'What the Hell are you?'

What? None of your hosts had ever been able to communicate with you before, especially when inside their mind.

So you answered, telling him what you were. Explaining you were in need of a host.

And much to your surprise he asked why you couldn't find someone else, you telling him you could.

You'd just picked the first person you'd seen, which happened to be him.

Then, surprising even yourself, you offered to jump to a new body if he could find one.

And so, like a bat out of, well... Hell. The Imp ran, desperately searching the rather deserted streets for another soul.

You don't even know how long he ran around, honestly you kind of rooted for him, hoping he'd find someone, but he eventually found a rather dapper looking demon.

Asking if they were acceptable, you would agree, and the next thing you knew Striker was in front of the demon and you'd jumped out of him, occupying your new host.

You did it quick, not giving the man a chance to react before you were in full control.

Turning back to the Imp you just kind of stood there for a moment, genuinely not sure how too proceed.

So, not entirely sure he wouldn't just shoot you in your new face, you asked if you could buy him a drink. The Imp stared at you a minute more before shrugging, telling you why not.

You both found a decent looking Bar and got to drinking right away, Striker ordering a whole bottle, Downing three shots before you began talking.

Striker demanded you explain everything. Wanting to know what you were, and so you'd do just that, telling him everything.

Striker didn't say much, only occasionally asking for clarification, drinking his whiskey, eyes never leaving you.

Once you'd finished explaining, he just sat there a while longer before asking how much of his mind you'd seen.

You'd tell him the truth, you'd seen a good bit, his occupation and such, and you were quite interested in him.

That got his attention, asking what you meant.

You telling him rather smoothly you'd like to try a little cold blooded murder for yourself.

Striker liked that, and despite your rocky start, the Imp would agree to give it a try.

It was shockingly easy to kill someone.

You just slid in through the air duct, occupied the targets body guard and killed the lot of them. Before jumping into some random on the street.

It was almost too easy.

Striker wasn't sure how to feel about that.

As on one hand, you got the job done Painfully quick. But on the other hand, it wasn't just about the job for him. It was also partially the chase.

The Hunt.

And you kind of got rid of all that.

So you decided to follow his lead instead, the Imp having quite a lot to teach.

It was actually a lot of fun doing it "His way", working with him without all the body jumping.

Jumping through windows, gunfights, exploding buildings and car chases. Real Hollywood shit.

But as your "professional relationship" grew. So did your "fucking around after missions, usually after a few drinks, or during your adrenaline peaking" relationship.

The two of you steadily becoming lovers over the course of a year. You both had a real live in the moment mentality, at least for the most part, you'd both still take a moment here and there to just enjoy the moment.

The two of you became notorious on every ring, your ability to not only possess Hellbornes but harmlessly occupy his body, allowing you to slip by the security.

The two of you able to take any contract, always getting the job done. Which gave you even more reason to go back to your place and shag.

Still, it was all rather Romantic. The two of you madly in love.

[heyitsbramgreenfeld]

So, I rewatched Love, Simon after not seeing it for a while last night. And I have some thoughts. They changed a ton of stuff from the book, which, okay, some changes are fine. You can’t fit hundreds of pages into 2 hours. But a lot of the stuff they changed didn’t make much sense, and didn’t impact the running time. Here are just a few:

1. Blue’s personality. In Simon vs., Blue is shy, and takes a while to open up. He’s quiet and nervous, and isn’t super outgoing. But in the movie, Blue is super popular, super outgoing, and not nervous at all. There’s nothing wrong with this at all, but I did miss the quiet, nerdy Bram that we were blessed with in the books. Although movie Bram was cool, and absolutely slayed with his halloween costume.

2. Martin’s Tumblr post. In the book, Martin did have screenshots of Simon’s emails, just like in the movie. However, he didn’t post them. He just posted the blurb that was like “Simon’s gay, contact him for gay sex” or whatever. He made a slight mention of Blue (he said something about blue balls), but he didn’t post the screenshots, so no one found out about Blue. And Blue didn’t even find out who Simon was until a while later, because he didn’t look at the Tumblr. But in the movie, Martin posted the screenshots, which made everyone aware of Blue. This led to Blue deleting his email. In the book, Blue didn’t, but they just sort of stopped emailing for a while.

3. Simon and Blue’s meet up. In the movie, like I mentioned, Blue deleted his email. So to reach him, Simon made a public Tumblr post, asking Blue to meet him in a public place. Honestly, I hated that. Simon put Blue in a position where, in order to talk to Simon, he had to out himself. I mean, Simon didn’t have much of a choice in reaching out to him publicly, but he didn’t have to ask Blue to meet him in a place where everyone would watch them. In the book, Simon emails Blue privately, and they meet and figure things out on their own.

4. Simon’s friends reactions. Simon’s friends, in the book, are super supportive of Simon. Abby does find out about Simon trying to set Martin and her up, but she’s much more forgiving. She takes a couple days to process, but ultimately decides Simon was in a tough spot and he didn’t really have a choice. In the movie, his friends give him no chance to explain, never try to understand him, and ditch him even after he got outed.

5. Simon guessing who Blue is. In the movie, Simon guesses it’s Bram, then Lyle, then Cal. In the book, for the entire time, Simon thinks it’s Cal. He makes mentions of Bram, so we know who he is, and we know Simon thinks he’s cute, but he doesn’t guess it’s him. I kind of loved this, because Simon is canonically very clueless, and the love of his life was right in front of him. I didn’t love how, in the movie, Bram was caught making out with a girl. It just doesn’t seem like him.

6. Judaism. Bram and Nick are canonically Jewish, and it’s mentioned a lot. It’s not exactly problematic that they didn’t talk about it in the movie (except for the one mention that Blue spends Hanukkah with his dad), because that may take too much time, but I love how Simon becomes sort of interested in Judaism because of Blue. Idk, maybe it’s just because I’m Jewish and crave Jewish characters, but I really missed that aspect.

7. Leah’s crush. All throughout Simon vs, we think Leah likes Nick. It’s never resolved, but she definitely doesn’t like Simon. As we find out in the sequel, Leah on the Offbeat, Leah actually likes Abby, and she doesn’t know what to do with those feelings, so she’s sort of surly towards Abby through the whole book. In Love, Simon, we find out she actually loves Simon, and she and Abby are besties with no drama.

8. Leah and her situation. So, I know that Leah on the Offbeat was written while Love, Simon was being filmed, so they couldn’t really have a super accurate Leah in the movie, but in the book, she’s seen to be a bit moody sometimes, and in the movie, she’s very calm. It’s not too much of a difference, though. The bigger difference is Leah’s financial status. In Leah on the Offbeat, it’s made known that she has a single mom and lives in a smallish house, and feels off with everyone because she’s not as rich as most people in Shady Creek. In the movie, it’s shown that she has a giant house right next to Simon and Nick, who we know have rich parents. Again, I know that this was only mentioned in Leah on the Offbeat, and so they couldn’t have really done that, but I would’ve loved to see the characters not living in almost-mansions (seriously. the house that was used to film simon’s house recently sold for over 2 million dollars).

9. Privilege. Yes, in the book, Simon is still privileged. But he acknowledges it. He knows. I feel like in the movie, Simon has a sort of “I’m not privileged because I’m gay, and anyone who acts more gay than me (like Ethan) is asking for whatever harassment happens to them”. I just didn’t love that non-self-awareness.

Comment if I missed anything!

[valenhell]

From the studio that brought you “I can’t find good Byler fics in the ao3 tag”, comes:

"The Definitive Byler fic rec list"

Literally no one asked for this but because I spent the majority of last year (...and 2019, and 2018...) reading byler fics and coping with life, I thought I’d make a list of some of my absolute favorites. 

The other day I was basically starving for some byler fics and the angel @magicalfairy provided me with some of her faves so I thought I’d do the same, because I love reading, and I love all of these fics and I appreciate their writers💗 And fic writers in general, come on!

- This is a mix of long works and one-shots/short stories. - Everything is mostly fluff with a tad of angst and a lot of internalized homophobia conflict.  - Every fic is completed, except for the ones I mention that they are not. - I try my best to lay out the stories in a way that I won’t spoil you the plot but also warning you of some stuff you might don’t like. Either way, all of these fics are correctly tagged by their respective authors/owners, so read at your own risk. For better understanding, in between brackets I denote Rating, Words and quantity of Chapters. - I feel like I should clarify, none of these are narrated in the singular first person. None of that “And I told him...”, no. 

Long fics

a dream always the same (T, 99k, 35 chapters) What happened in those few weeks between the Battle of Starcourt and the Byers leaving Hawkins. Literally a satisfying and very needed fill in of season three, with a good dose of Mike’s thoughts and conflict. Mike’s characterization is specially amazing in this one. The writing style is amazing and I know the author put everything into making it historically accurate, and it was really sweet. You probably read it, it’s by the amazing sevensided here on Tumblr🧡

Spring Break (T, 120k, 14/15 chapters) The slowburn of my dreams. Lots of internalized conflict and conflict with each other. Conflict within the Party (uhh kind of), conflict with Mike and Will. Byers family has moved and the kids are visiting! Chaos. Characterization is on point. Yeah, I know it’s unfinished, but the fourteenth chapter actually serves as a pretty nice ending. 

This is where it starts (M, 148.8k, 24 chapters) Aged up characters. The Party is in college and Will disappears again, but now it’s different. Mike knows he didn’t vanish from thin air, and the discovery he and the Party end up making is pretty insane. Mystery solving/fantasy/third dimension, throw in a bit of D&D and Mike realizing some shit, and you get this marvelous fic. It’s a breath of fresh air. The world building is definitely one of the elements that stands out the most, because it’s very nicely described, it sounds like a dream and it’s completely immersive. Absolute gem of a fic. 

there’s a Starman waiting in the sky (M, 30.6k, 8 chapters) Do I need to say anything? Will is out there living his best life and Mike realizes that wow, umm, maybe his best friend looks a bit too nice with that costume... and wait, is he getting horny? It’s actually really fun and sexy.

The Evening Speaks (T, 23k, 7 chapters) In where Mike is a late-night college radio host and Will is the art student that stays up till late to catch up with Wheeler on the Mic. They flirt through songs y’all, this one is really sweet. 

heads or tails? (E, 24k, 3 chapters) Aged up characters. I know most people don’t enjoy sex in fics and with specific characters but this one is insanely well written. It’s a slowburn that commits to the tension and with every word you are grasping and anticipating their next move. I think you can find the author here on Tumblr as yousaidyes🧡

The Man of Average (M, 56.7k, 5/? chapters) Aged up characters. No but you don’t understand, the writing here is absolute gourmet. The story is exciting as well, it’s super interesting. Weirdly enough, for being very aged up characters, they are well characterized but they don’t feel like teenagers. They are naturally Mike and Will. The author really captured Mike and Will’s essence. I know, it’s unfinished and it’s updated very rarely, but this is the typical fic you can’t believe someone just posted on the internet for free. I will say though, I think it’s definitely not for everyone. Read at your own risk.

Heartstrings (E, 82.8k, 24/? chapters) Aged up characters. By the same author of The Man of Average. A collection of memories, the road to Mike and Will’s happy ever after. And fucking hell!!!!! You’ll cry and get angry, you’ll cheer for them, then you’ll want to crash their faces together because god dammit you love each other!!! But yeah, same thing here. The writing and the way the story is laid out as a nonlinear narrative is brilliant. And I also think this is one of the best Will versions I’ve read. The author might as well be the og creator of this two characters tbh. You can find the author here as mylesimeblr🧡

Sinners behind the walls (T, 1.5k, 1/1) And because I can’t stop recommending this author, a little thing of Mike tormenting himself but also being too deeply committed to Will. 

The Red Envelope series (T/E, 167K, two completed works) Something happens that Will thought was impossible and from there, pure drama and romance. Anything by this author has the potential to become your absolute favorite fic, but this series in particular is amazing. I doubt that any of you haven’t read this, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in this list. I’m pretty sure the author is serendipitous-magic on Tumblr🧡

A New Fight series (T, 91k, two completed works, one WIP) And finally the Star Wars AU that we all needed. But this isn’t your typical “Mike is Han”, “Will is Leia” and “El is Luke”, it’s way more interesting than that, and the author has appropriated the Star Wars world like no other. I’ll admit I’m not a 100% fluent in SW lore but this is amazing to me either way. This author is also on Tumblr, tea-for-one-please🧡

- Yes, most of these are (if not all), in a way, canon compliant/canonverse/canon continuation into fanon. (In a way)

One-shots and short stories

Sundae for Two, Please (G, 4.8k) Steve being the supportive friend and older brother these kids collectively need. (not Jonathan erasure, we love him). Steve is very sweet himself, and this little cute thing through his POV is gorgeous. Yes, it’s byler.

Backstage (T, 10k, 2/2) Jonathan, you forgot to mention to Will how hot your new band’s guitarist is, dude. Now he’s hyperventilating and weirdly flirting with him in the corner. Background Stonathan because why not.

102 Peach Street (G, 3.8k) Established relationship, but not only that, they are married :’’))) PURE fluff. Extreme fluffiness. Diabetes. 

sweatshirts and bottled up feelings (T, 3.2k) Or, Mike thinks that the sweatshirt Will wears looks insanely good on him. And kitchens are for lovers. 

kiss it better (T, 16.3k) Basically one of the best character studies of a few precise moments of Mike and Will’s relationship and feelings. 

will wonders ever cease (T, 11.3k) #i ship will and happiness. Omfg what a beautiful piece of fanfic. Will centric, this kid really deserves all the good in the world.

The Calm After the Storm (T, 1.6k) Tooth rotting fluff, boyfriends in love. Boyfriends being lazy, cuddling, love words, kisses. Boys loving each other’s company... Basically, Mike and Will in their element. What more can you ask for?

neither of us ready to let go (T, 4.8k) That scene from season three, but a bit of a fix it. 

Still in love (G, 1k) Domestic, married life au fluff. Y’all, I’m a sucker for established Byler, even if I can’t find many fics with it. But this is very sweet. It takes place in 2020, but I don’t think there are any mentions of the COVID-19 crisis that I remember.

I Nver Find Out ‘Til I’m Head Over Heels (G, 12.5K) Classic 5+1 fic. If you haven’t read it, where have you been? This is your moment. In where Mike keeps inviting Will to the school dances and Will thinks it’s just a joke until he realizes it’s not. 

Before You’re Gone (T, 5.9k) Will is leaving Hawkins and Mike thinks this is a great moment for a confession. This one I discovered last friday, thank you friend @magicalfairy 💗

You’re weird Wheeler (M, 4.5k) Mike unintentionally starts a tradition of going to each other to talk about their sexual encounters just after they finish. Will keeps getting more explicit with the details he shares, and he makes his best friend interested. This one is really fun y’all.

Out-Of-Town Friends (N/R, 4.6K) It’s not rated. I haven’t re- read it but I’d say it would probably fall in a T rating. So cute!! Will has new friends and sneaks off every friday and the Party doesn’t know where he is going, so Mike decides to follow him and is surprised. 

Snowed Under (G, 1.3k) By the same author of The New Fight series. Mike is spending christmas by himself in college because a snowstorm hits Chicago and Nancy can’t drive to see him, but then he has a surprise visitor. Ahhh just a lil sweet holiday fic. Super cute. 

you love me anyway series (T, 7.1k, three completed works) Literally just the cutest thing ever. Established Byler. Will loves to take pictures and he loves taking pictures of Mike. It’s adorable. 

you wanna be friends forever (i can think of something better) (T, 9k) This one is so amazing. So. Amazing. From Will’s POV, my kid deserves the world and he gets it. 

okay not to be okay (T, 4.9k) Mike is a bit sad but then everything is okay. 

can’t hold out forever (G, 18.4k) Y’all!!!!! 5+1 sweetness. Mike has been falling in love since kindergarten. And it’s long af, you’ll enjoy it. 

even if it takes forever (G, 1.3k) College short AU, they miss each other, they love each other, they promise all to each other. It is sappy y’all.

clear as day (N/R, 18.4K, 4 chapters) It’s not rated, but I’d say it falls in the T category. Strangers to friends to lovers. And also, everyone is pretty gay; we have our dynamic trio Mike, Max and El as disaster lesbians (and gay). Will works at the library and he is also gay. Lucas and Dustin and Will are the best friends we needed. It’s very sweet and the Party is kind of formed here!

I went overboard with the one-shots, so you must have realized how much I love long one-shots and I favor them over long works lmao but they are all amazing!!! If it’s on this list, I probably read it at 2 am, sobbing in my bed. So. Hope you enjoy it☺️🧡

[sugarmaplewings-fics]

I'm Yours

Pairing: Kirishima x reader

Warnings: There's kissing. A lot of kissing. Just some teenagers being dumb really. No canon characters were harmed in the making of this fic. I didn't include a cheating aspect since I don't write for that kind of stuff, but there's still some jealous!Kirishima here >:3

Author's Note:

Uhhhh I kinda forgot to make this fluffy . . . .

Thanks to uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwi from Wattpad for requesting! (that's a really fun username hehe)

Enjoy!

-Sugar

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Swamped.

That was the only way he could describe it. Kirishima didn’t think he’d ever been so busy, and he wasn’t the only one.

Finals had the entirety of the hero course stressed, especially the second-years like himself. Between training, doing homework, and going to class, there wasn’t exactly room for being social. Any time he was able to hang out with his friends, they were studying together. Nothing he'd really describe as 'fun'. And that’s what had him feeling the worst about all this.

He’d started dating you a few weeks ago—going on three months now, actually. Things had been going well between the two of you. You liked him and he really liked you, so to him, there hadn't been any type of problem.

Even so, there was something a little unique about your relationship: no one knew about it. You yourself were never one for letting others get too involved in your business. And besides, you also knew the nature of most high school relationships. Maybe you’d announce yourselves as a couple and make a big fuss only to grow tired of the other and end it all within the first month. But clearly, that hadn’t happened.

There was a strange thrill to keeping your relationship a secret; a novelty your boyfriend hadn't expected. Though he wasn’t much for dishonesty, Kirishima practically lived for the stolen glances across the classroom you’d share, and the way he’d sneak you behind the school for impromptu makeout sessions with no one ever the wiser. You were his little secret, and he was yours.

Until it had all come to a grinding halt with the extra schoolwork.

He still tried to make time to spend with you in one of your dorm rooms, but the both of you finally had to admit to yourselves that neither of you could get any work or studying done when you were alone together. And so it was back to study groups; holding hands under the table as either Bakugou or Yaoyorozu went over the newest batch of hero laws that needed to be memorized.

God, how he wished this could all be over. Kirishima just wanted things to be normal again. When was the last time he’d even seen you? He could remember watching the back of your head duck out of the classroom at the end of the day, but after? . . . Nothing.

He frowned at the physics worksheet laid before him, mind wandering to thoughts of you as one of his sharp teeth sunk into the eraser at the end of his pencil. Kirishima supposed he should go check on you later, once he’d finished up his assignments for the evening.

…

“Did you see (L/N) yesterday?”

Kirishima’s ears unconsciously perked up at the sound of your name. He stood with his tray in the lunch line directly behind some of his female classmates. They were chatting amongst themselves as they slowly stepped forward. Kirishima wasn’t generally one to listen in on conversations he wasn’t a part of, but now they’d captured his interest. Had one of them seen him sneaking into your room?

“No, I didn’t,” Uraraka said in response to Ashido. “Is she alright?”

“Of course she is,” the pink-haired girl said, rolling her abnormal black and amber eyes as she reached for a clementine. “Actually, she may be doing more than alright.”

Kirishima swallowed. Uh-oh.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jirou asked, sounding largely uninterested in gossiping about her fellow classmate.

“Well,” Ashido began, bouncing a little on her toes, “I saw her on the tech floor yesterday and you won’t believe who she was talking to.”

“Who?” Jirou asked dryly, probably hoping to get the discussion over with as quickly as possible.

“Kobayashi Tatsuo. The third year,” Mina announced proudly.

The redhead behind them quietly sighed. Thank goodness. They still didn't know.

“And?” Uraraka questioned.

“They were totally flirting!” Ashido said. “(L/N)’s bagged a cute upperclassman boy! They’ll be dating soon, I just know it! If they aren’t already.” She smugly leveled her shoulders, grinning with an odd look of satisfaction.

What?

“I guess that’s good for her,” Jirou commented, picking up her tray from the lunch bar in order to follow her friends to a table.

“I know, right?” Mina said excitedly as they walked off. “And he’s totally cute too! I wish a hot guy would pay attention to me for once.”

Kirishima watched them leave, almost forgetting to grab lunch for himself after being so absorbed in what they were saying.

The majority of him knew he shouldn’t pay any mind to it. This sort of thing was bound to happen. Of course his peers try to figure out who was involved with who, even if it wasn’t really accurate or from the most credible source. The girls didn’t know that you were already taken by someone else, in fact, the very person behind them in line.

At least now he knew where you’d gone after class yesterday . . . but why? What were you doing on the tech floor? And who was this third year you were talking to?

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Kaminari’s voice. Kirishima returned the greeting, sliding into his seat next to his friend. As he settled into the atmosphere of his usual table, he couldn’t help but scan the cafeteria for your face, just as he had done every day, even before you were dating.

But for the first time, his search came up empty. You were nowhere to be seen.

…

Kobayashi wasn’t exactly the person you wanted to be spending your lunch with.

Really, a part of you wondered why you had to skip going to the cafeteria at all today. But then you remembered the stack of work that sat on your desk. It stubbornly refused to ever shrink, no matter what you did. Recently, it felt like as soon as you got one thing done, two more assignments would find their way right back at the bottom. And this was just another one you had to deal with.

While reviewing your materials for your upcoming finals, you’d begun to take note of other heroes’ costumes and support items. Particularly, you’d taken interest in a hero from Ukraine who’d debuted a few decades ago. Your quirk was wildly similar to his and you couldn’t help but further research his techniques, costume, and gadgets that enhanced his abilities.

You weren’t one to copy. Actually, you quite liked the way your current costume functioned and looked, with its own unique style of your own. Even so, you’d read things about him and his quirk that you honestly hadn’t even thought of for yourself, and you’d begun to make a special section in your notebook for improvements to your hero ensemble. Was it the best use of your time? Perhaps not, but you did have a practical exam coming up, and a part of you couldn’t help but wonder if these improvements you were sketching might make all the difference in your performance . . . .

You decided you could use an upgrade. Which is exactly why you went to the second-year in the support course who was in charge of making adjustments to your costume. Until your hopes were immediately dashed when you found out he was sick. Determined, you went to the next best option: Kobayashi.

He was a nice enough boy. Tall, witty, and a whole year older. You hadn’t expected to be spending so much time with him over the past week, but for whatever reason, he kept calling you back to his workspace in the shop for ‘daily check-ins’. At least he was making good progress.

But now you were spending your lunch hour eating with him. It felt strange, being alone in a different classroom with the guy—not an uncomfortable strange, merely “I’m not used to being here”. You’d let him borrow your notebook full of sketches for your costume, and that’s what he was going over with you now.

He’d ask you for clarification on one of your notes before jotting something down of his own right next to your handwriting. He had also been eager to show you his process, explaining the steps of what he was doing while you ate from your bento.

To be honest, it was kind of nice being in a different setting. Kobayashi was fun to listen to; it was clear he was passionate about what he was doing.

But still, he ran out of things to talk about. That was, when it came to your hero suit. Figuring it was too late to go back to the cafeteria anyway, he ate his own lunch with you, striking up a new conversation.

At first, you didn’t pay any mind to it. But then you began to take notice of how close he sat. Then you realized how eager he was to make you laugh, how smoothly the casual chatter flowed between you. And then it struck you just how much he peppered in compliments to you. Finally, it clicked.

Uh-oh.

You refused to meet his gaze when he waved you off after the bell rang. Dashing away, you wondered how serious he might be. Did he actually like you? No, perhaps you were overthinking the situation.

Then again, he had been being awfully nice to you ever since you’d met. But what if that was just how he was? Kaminari could be like that at times, and you knew he didn’t usually mean anything too serious behind it. Or—well—perhaps Denki the Flirt was a bad example for your case. Still . . . how were you supposed to make it clear to Kobayashi that you weren’t interested?

You shook your head to clear it of these thoughts. He hadn’t actually done anything, so what was the point of worrying about it? You were loyal to Eijirou, you knew that. You’d made a commitment to him just as he had to you, and that was all there was to it. No matter what, you’d continue whatever it was you had with him. Kobayashi wasn’t an issue you should be losing sleep over. Besides, you were probably reading too far into things anyway.

Content with the conclusions you’d made, you walked back into your homeroom class for fifth period. Settling into your seat, you faced the chalkboard in front of you, awaiting the return of Aizawa-sensei, unaware of the pair of ruby eyes fixed on your back.

…

Kirishima shot up from his desk the moment he heard a soft knock on his door. As soon as he opened up his room, you came barreling into his arms. “Hey!” he greeted you, reciprocating the hug.

“Study break!” you announced quietly, not wanting to alert his neighbors of your presence.

He tittered happily to himself, leading your bodies back to his desk where he could sit you on his lap in his chair. Settling comfortably on his thighs, you were quick to slot your lips against his. Kirishima melted into your touch.

How many days had it been since he’d last gotten a chance to kiss you? Two? Three? Either way, it had been far too long.

“Shall we take this to the bed?” he joked after a few minutes of kissing.

You chuckled at his harmless allusion. “You know I’m going to fall asleep as soon as I lay down.”

He brushed a stray strand of hair out of your face, concern morphing his features. “Have you been getting enough rest with all this going on?”

“No,” you admitted. “I was up last night with my English flashcards. I swear Present Mic is trying to kill me with this new vocab, it’s like I can’t get it in my head at all.”

“I could help you study it,” your boyfriend offered, his hands resting lightly on your waist.

“That would be productive,” you said sarcastically with a roll of your eyes. “What was it last time? ‘If I get a set right, I’ll get a kiss’ and then next thing I know, we’re making out on your bed for twenty minutes.”

He grinned up at you coyly. “At least I made studying fun.”

“That wasn’t studying!” you protested with a grin. “Speaking of, my timer’s going to go off soon—” you pressed your lips against his for a moment, “—and I want more kisses.”

Kirishima let you have your way with him, threading your fingers through his hair while you savored the taste of his lips. But there was something still nagging at the back of his mind.

“(Y/N)?” he asked when your phone buzzed and you pulled away. “Where were you during lunch today?”

You shrugged, pulling your phone out of your pocket to silence it. “I’m getting improvements on my hero costume. My regular guy got sick so I’m working with this third-year dude.”

“Ohhh.” Kirishima’s worries dissipated almost instantly. “So that’s why you were on the tech floor.”

Confused, you frowned. “Did you see me there or something?”

“Oh, sorry! I just overheard Ashido saying that she saw you down there.” He laughed. “She thought you were flirting with him or something and that you were going to end up dating.”

“Ah, well,” you mumbled, “I wasn’t sure if I should say anything or not but he, um, actually might have been flirting with me.”

Kirishima’s smile dropped, his arms subconsciously squeezing you tighter to him. “What?”

“I only noticed it today—it totally could be nothing—but I think he’s caught feelings? I mean, why else would he ask me to have lunch with him like this? Not to mention how he was smiling at me, and looking at me, and touching my hand—” You bit your tongue, stopping yourself from saying anything else. Maybe this was more serious than you realized.

Your boyfriend was silent, staring at the floor below you with a troubled expression. His ruby eyes traced over the rectangular patterns on his floor, seemingly lost in thought.

“You know that nothing’s going to happen,” you attempted to reassure him, lifting his chin with one of your fingers so he could look into your eyes. “Those feelings aren’t reciprocated and I’m not going anywhere. I’ve already picked you, Eijirou. There’s no one out there like you.” You pressed a kiss to his forehead, sealing your statements, not only to him but to yourself. “We’ll sort this out. If I have to tell Kobayashi I’m taken, then so be it. Maybe keeping our relationship a secret isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be.”

When you pulled back, you noticed that there was still a pout on Eijirou’s face.

“Aw, what is it?” you asked, tucking one of his fallen sticky spikes back under his bandana.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, pulling you even closer to him.

“Talk to me, baby.” You ran a hand down his back.

“I don’t like the thought of him being around you,” he confessed into your shoulder. “I . . . don’t want him smiling at you like that, or touching you, or letting people think that you belong with him. You’re . . . mine.” He paused before laughing dryly, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry. That sounded . . . totally selfish of me and probably not very manly at all—”

“No,” you said simply. “It’s actually kinda hot.”

He pulled back to look at you, perhaps to see if you were joking. Your expression was intrigued, maybe a little flustered. “Really?”

“Yeah.” You swallowed. “I . . . like when you call me yours. It’s cute. And besides, it’s okay that you feel that way. Feelings don’t have to make sense. I'm frustrated about this too.” Pecking his lips a final few times, you regretfully stood from his chair. “I wish there was something more I could do right now, but I should get going. I promised Tsu and Uraraka I’d meet up with them. We can talk about this later.”

“See you, (Y/N),” Kirishima said.

You smiled and waved, turning to the door and checking to see if anyone was in the hall before slipping back out. Kirishima watched you go, wondering what he should do.

Kirishima hadn’t even met the guy and he already hated him. Sure, Kobayashi wasn’t aware you were taken, and he had every right to show interest in you, but that was supposed to be Eijirou. It was Kirishima’s job to flirt with you and be there for you and sweep you off your feet. Your classmates should be shipping you with him, not this random guy from another year.

The redhead sighed. He shouldn’t let himself get so caught up in this. He knew you were capable of sorting this out on your own, and if you really needed him, Kirishima would help you. He couldn’t start getting whiny like some kind of child.

Besides, your friends could think whatever they wanted. It couldn’t affect your relationship. They were just high school kids. They didn’t even know what they were talking about.

Despite the fact he was trying to get back into focusing on his work, Kirishima’s mind couldn’t help but wander. Maybe once exams were over you could finally announce that the two of you were together. Then you wouldn’t have to sneak around so much anymore. He could hug you whenever he wanted, and you could sit on his lap during movie night. He’d be able to kiss you in front of his friends, no problem. Maybe, just to see the look on his face, he’d kiss you in front of—

No, no. Japanese Literature. That was what he was supposed to be thinking about right now. The sooner he finished his work, the sooner he’d be able to see you again.

…

Finally it was Saturday afternoon, and you knew you had an entire day to take things a little easier tomorrow. Maybe you’d even try to take the evening off and spend some time with your boyfriend. But of course, you had to meet with Kobayashi about your hero costume first. Hopefully it would be quick, and perhaps even the last time.

You walked down to the tech floor, heading straight for the workshop. You needed your suit for the practical exam next week, so you hoped he was ready for you.

Peeking into the room, you spotted him putting something into a very familiar case.

“Oh, are you finished?” you asked, walking in.

“Yeah,” he said brightly. “You’re all set, (L/N).”

“Thanks,” you said.

“Here,” he popped the little box open, showing off the finalized improvements he’d done and the changes he’d made that you’d spoken about together. He walked you through everything and you listened politely, asking the occasional question. Even with the newfound bitter taste in your mouth at being around him, you had to admit he'd done a spectacular job.

“That should be everything,” you said, ready to go. “Thanks for working with me.”

“No problem.”

Satisfied, you began to walk away.

“Wait, (L/N).”

Apprehensive, you stopped, turning back to him. “Yeah?”

“I was just wondering,” he began, bashful, “if you’d like to grab lunch with me sometime.”

You frowned, apologetic. “I can’t, Kobayashi senpai.”

“Why not?” He looked hurt.

You winced. “I’m already involved with someone else.”

“You’re just ‘involved’?” he asked dubiously, the expression on his face changing. “Please give me a chance. I can see that you feel something for me too. Whoever you’re with, I could be better.”

“I’m not interested,” you said firmly, any momentary sympathy you might have felt evaporating. “Goodbye, Kobayashi.”

He let you go, watching as you walked stiffly out of the classroom. As soon as you rounded the doorway, you felt something grab you. Gasping, you startled, but you were quick to register a familiar head of red hair. You saw Kirishima put a finger to his lips, pulling you further down the hall and towards the empty stairwell for some privacy.

He pushed you up against a blue-gray wall, grinning at you with hooded eyes.

“Eiji, what—?”

“I heard the whole thing,” he murmured, leaning in and capturing your lips for a quick kiss. “I thought that guy might make a move on you so I followed you down here. You held your own.” He kissed you again; this one longer, his tongue sneaking its way into your mouth. “You’re really mine, aren’t you?” he murmured against your lips, a stubborn trace of hesitancy still present and quavering in his voice.

“Of course I am, Eiji,” you whispered, touching your forehead to his. “I’m yours.”

He surged against you again, kissing you hungrily and pinning you even harder against the solid surface behind you.

You gasped against his force, eyebrows drawing together as you struggled to keep up. “Ei—” you tried. “Not here, let’s go someplace else.”

“Who cares?” he murmured, uninterested in stopping.

“Me. I don’t want to get caught by a teacher or a random fifteen-year-old. We could get in trouble.”

Kirishima sighed, finally drawing back for a moment to meet your eyes. “Okay, fine. But we’re going straight to my room, right?”

You snorted. “Where else do you think I want to be?”

He smirked, taking your hand again. “Good answer.”

Kirishima briskly walked you back to the dorms, his hand migrating ever lower down your back. It wasn’t long before he was sitting you on his lap in his bed, mouth once again connecting with yours right where it belonged.

You weren’t sure he’d ever kissed you like this before, in all the time you’d been together. His passion blazed before you, unrelenting as your teeth and tongues crashed together. He nipped at your lips until they flushed and swelled, and you knew they’d be noticeably bruised by morning but neither of you stopped. He kept going, trailing more kisses from the corner of your mouth, to your jaw, and all the way down your neck only to return right back to your parted lips whispering his name.

Kirishima’s room had never felt so hot and stuffy, even as he pulled off his uniform jacket and helped you out of yours. His cheeks burned red as his eyes, so caught up in what he was doing, the only thoughts his mind was still capable of having were simply You.

It went by in a haze. He wasn’t sure when exactly he’d lowered you onto his pillow, or how long he’d been hovering over you and caging you in with his arms as he cherished you.

But he knew one thing. His love for you wasn’t something he could hide anymore. No, he’d never let anyone think they stood a chance with you again while he was around.

One day soon, he would kiss you good morning at breakfast. One day, you’d hold hands in the halls on the way to class. One day, he’d pull you in close after school, slinging an arm around your hips just so he always knew you were there at his side.

But he was happy to be here with you now. He was happy to be your secret. He was happy, even as his kisses began to soften and slow, content with the way your body melded against his as he laid himself at your side and hugged you closer. All that mattered was that you were here with him now, and he was yours.

And you were his.

══════ ≪ .·:·.♡.·:·. ≫ ══════

Taglist: @aahilovetheatre @basicalyrandom @bumbyslair @f0leysgurl @hyunmin-1404 @kqtsukii @nabo39 @pyrofanatic​ @rainy-skys-and-bright-stars @sendhelpimstupid @ure-a-sunflower @xoxopam4​

[mskatesharma]

Hey sorry to bother you but I wanted to ask if you could rec some good sources on learning more about Indian Culture/history/customs. Movies books anything really. I have looked online but well, I always take things on the internet with several grains of salt. And considering I know very little on it, I can't say how reliable the information is. I would like to incorporate elements of Kate being Indian when writing about Kate (and Kate and Anthony) going forward and I want to do it in as respectful and accurate a way as I can. For example, I had a thought of Anthony seeing Kate and her fam celebrate Holi and falling in love with how happy and carefree she is and brushing some paint off her cheek before she dunks some pigment onto him or something 1/2

But considering I've never celebrated Holi or seen it celebrated before I don't think I'd do a good job to write it... I know I get annoyed when people get the basic customs and traditions of my culture wrong. Anyway sorry for rambling TLDR: I would like to learn more about Indian culture and idk where to begin so I would be grateful for any direction you can point me at 2/2

so this has taken me a while to answer because i needed to find time to sit down, think about it and answer it properly. it might seem like a somewhat simple question, but to me, at least, it’s complicated? (i’m probably going to be going over stuff you probably already know, but i’m trying to answer in a complete way.)

i need to start off by saying that my family is from north india (gujarat specifically), and because of that, i have a certain level of privilege, including how north indians and north indian culture is portrayed in the media (obviously including bollywood). i mention this because simone ashley is south indian, specifically tamil, and there is so much prejudice against south indians in general, and this obviously extends to how they are depicted and how their culture is shown in various forms of media; colourism (which simone has spoken out about) is just the start of it. (also, as someone who is north indian, i’m not the best placed person to talk about the prejudice and discrimination faced by south indians.)  

a big part of why desi fans are so excited about simone’s casting as kate is because she a dark-skinned woc, and typically, dark-skinned women aren’t cast as romantic leads, and they’re not cast in shows anyway, especially when compared to light-skinned woc. so the fact that she’s going to be a lead in one of the biggest shows on netflix is a big.fucking.deal. in addition, they changed her character’s surname from ‘sheffield’ to ‘sharma’, which on the surface seems like a great idea, but if you look a little deeper, there are so many problems to be found.

(this got long so continues below)

sharma is not a generic indian surname; it’s specifically a north indian hindu name, which throws up questions. is kate going to be a hindu on the show? does this mean her family is from north india?  are they going to talk about caste on the show because sharma is a brahmin surname? how are they going to explain kate being in england, and being out in society with the upper crust of the british aristocracy? (because of the time that bridgerton is set, and with them specifically setting up kate as indian, i honestly don’t know how they’re going to explain kate’s presence) i honestly think that the show didn’t think too deeply about it and they chose the name sharma because it starts with ‘sh’ and ~sounds indian. however, it’s thrown up so many questions that they can’t ignore, especially because they tried to explain race in the first season. 

i talk about all this because you ask about holi, and incorporating elements of kate being indian when writing. and i’m not trying to be mean, but i would maybe hold off altogether? i need to point out that holi is a hindu festival, and is not specifically tied to being indian. i know i mentioned that sharma is a hindu surname, but we don’t even know if kate is going to be hindu, she may be a christian, or another religion or an atheist. also, because simone is tamil, they may decide to have kate be south indian despite the north indian origins of sharma, if they chose to address it at all. and depending on where in india you are from, and your religion, you will celebrate different festivals. even indians of the same religion celebrate different festivals, and some celebrate occasions at different times (e.g. gujaratis celebrate hindu new year the day after diwali. this isn’t the case for most other hindus. if we take holi, i know that it tends to be celebrated more in north india, and the image you describe isn’t necessarily universal). 

there has been a lot in the tags regarding clothing, and seeing kate and her family wearing indian clothing, and while i get it, it makes me nervous. personally, i cannot wait to see kate in the same style of dresses that everyone else wore in season one. why? because seeing an indian woman in that period of dress is something i have been longing for. i don’t want to see an indian woman wearing a lengha or a sari or sabyasachi in that time period, i want to see her in a bonnet and empire waistline, because that is something we haven’t seen much of. 

also, talking about seeing kate and her family wearing indian clothing has the potential to ‘other’ her, and tbh, can come across sometimes as fetishy, especially when you consider the time the story takes place in, and all the implications of colonialism. (there’s also the fact that unless the show has hired indian costume designers, it would be kinda gross for them to use any kind of indian clothing, and that includes adding elements to the era-typical dress that i’m hoping for.) 

i’m going to be honest, i’ve seen pieces of fanart with kate wearing a sari and other indian clothing, while anthony has been in typical regency dress, and it makes me uncomfortable. it gives off coloniser vibes, and that’s a dynamic i have absolutely no interest in. there’s also the fact that i’ve seen art where simone as kate has been shown as light-skinned, to the point where she appears to be the same colour as anthony, and i mean, hello?!

full disclosure, i’ve made some posts regarding headcanons and music that i should have thought twice about. i’ve reblogged stuff that i should have thought more about before i did so. why? because they had overtones of north indian privilege, and/or orientalism. being indian (wherever in india that is) is part of someone’s identity, it’s not a gimmick to sprinkle onto things, and it’s not something to festishise, and i think, at least from what i’ve seen, that is the concern a lot of desi fans have, even if that’s not the intention of the original posters.   

i realise i’ve gone on a seemingly massive tangent, but what i’m trying to say is, i don’t think there is a need to specifically reference kate being indian, especially when when writing canon-era fic, even more so when you consider we don’t know how the show is going to address it. now, i’m not saying i have faith in the show when it comes to kate and her ~indian surname, just that until we know how the show addresses it, i don’t see why it needs to be referred to? i understand why one might want to, but i just think there are waaay too many potential pitfalls, and the risk of coming across as orientalist/patronising/fetishy too high. some fans have fears when it comes to kate sharma and how she is presented, and for good reason.

sorry for not answering how you expected, and not giving you the resources you asked for (which, tbh, i’m not sure i would know where to start). i get what you were trying to ask, and i thank you for asking in the first place, but the question felt a little unfair tbh. but, i would encourage to read up on orientalism, also about the privilege that north indian hindus have, and honestly, the british colonisation of india.

ETA: i put this in the reblog but im going to add it here as well

also, something i forgot to add, even though i talk about north indians/north india and south indians/south india, it is obviously more complicated than that. there are many different states in india, and even then, different regions within those states will have different customs to each other. and then you have to factor in religion. likewise, there’s no one language that everyone in india speaks. basically, it’s not one universal culture that can be ‘boiled down to the essentials’.

[naivesilver]

@bewilderedmoth​ FINE. Fine. Since today is a Monday and therefore a day much more suited for a vitriolic commentary on terrible insects, I shall fulfill your request and the anon’s. I’m warning everyone in the premises, though -  this is a “no fucks given” list, so it may get ugly at any time. Also, as usual, this is only for things that I’ve already watched, so if you know of some cricket horror and don’t see it mentioned, assume I’ve yet to get to that specific adaptation.

Alright then! To the barricades!

1) Disney’s Pinocchio (1940)

The first of his genre. Look at this asshole - he’s literally the last creature I’d entrust my child to. The fact Pinocchio had to spend his first couple days of life with this guy shadowing his every step is mind-boggling, and it’s made even worse by the fact that the Blue Fairy put him in charge of another man’s kid, as though she had the right to make that choice.

(I won’t fall for the desire of dunking on the Fairy more, as this is a Cricket list, but believe me, the temptation is there. It always is.)

As Disney sidekicks go, he’s one of the worst. He’s not funny, and despite having literally ONE job he manages to fail spectacularly at it. He’s snappish at Pinocchio, he abandons his charge about two hours into the new day, he spends a much longer time flirting with female-presenting inanimate objects/animals/supernatural beings than doing any actual childrearing. He should have been forgotten the instant the movie left the theaters, but instead Disney made him one of his main mascots, giving him the role of storyteller or ghost or whatever the fuck they need him to do at the time. So not only is he single-handedly responsible for every other entry in this list, I keep finding him everywhere I turn my eyes to. A knock-off version of his Ghost of Christmas Past self was in the new Ducktales, too, so my friend freenklin (who already has had to endure many of my complaints) received some VERY disappointed scream-texts as I was liveblogging my watch.

Just...no. Get him out of my sight.

(Also Ewan McGregor is bound to voice him in the live action and like??? Excuse me??? Are we supposed to not make Obi Wan jokes??? Will he abandon his young padawan Pinocchio to the evil Strombolitroopers???)

2) Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night (1987)

This movie is at the bottom of my Pinocchio adaptation ranking, and boy, does it deserve the dishonor. The story is a weird mixture of adaptation and sequel, approximately a tenth of the characters actually appear in the book, and I can’t forgive them for ruining what could have been the coolest concept ever (Pinocchio as a pawn in a fight of good vs evil) into this disgrace of a cartoon.

As for the Cricket, in this case he’s not even a cricket. He’s a glowworm, and he’s a goddamn puppet too, to whom the Fairy gave life. I wonder, is the entirety of her job just...transforming people’s creations into sentient beings so that they can lead others to a honest life? Tell me, ma’am, do you want to breathe life into my disappointing Powerpoint presentations too, so that they might bully me into graduating?

Anyway, if you’re wondering what purpose Gee Willikers (sigh) serves, the answer is NONE. Pinocchio gets rid of him at least twice (good for him) and as easily as drinking a glass of water, he’s a burden to the (admittedly cooler) additional characters, like the aviator bee, and not only is he ugly as fuck, but also so annoying every time he gets a chance to speak that it’s a miracle he wasn’t cut out in post-production.

In short, disgusting. If he entered my home I’d swat him with a flycatcher until he leaves.

3) Pinocchio (2009)

This is essentially Disney’s Jiminy Cricket, but female, anthropomorphic, and with a passion for books instead of pretty ladies or ladies-adjacent objects. Mind you, a sapphic Cricket would perhaps have saved more than one adaptation, this one included, but I’m glad they skipped that part altogether. This miniseries has enough issues as it is.

I’m sorry, she’s just too annoying. Luciana Littizzetto can be funny, but in small doses, otherwise her jokes start to become repetitive. Two hours straight - and yes, it’s that much, because SOMEONE decided to follow Disney’s footsteps a little too well - are too long even for the strongest of hearts. Plus, none of the characters’ costumes are very flattering, accurate or well-made (except for Lampwick 💖), but hers just might take the cake. It looks like a mixture between a teenager’s first attempt at steampunk fashion and a Mardi Gras costume lifted from the discarded items’ bin at a cheap store. Takes you out of the fantasy more than anything else.

4) Roberto Benigni’s Pinocchio (2002)

I’ve talked at length of the weirdness of this movie, but all in all it’s a pretty accurate transposition of the story, from the dialogue to the scenery.

Except for him.

The Cricket in this case does appear in the scenes belonging to him, but ALSO in a long and extremely useless sequence where he tries to find Pinocchio in the Land of Toys and gets kicked around by literally everyone present. Don’t get me wrong, that’s something I would have liked to do as well, but it was totally unnecessary, and it gave nothing to the overall story. This movie still holds the record as the most expensive Italian movie ever made, so wouldn’t it have been better for everybody to  skip that part entirely? Not only it would have saved them some money, but also it would have saved me from seeing this guy for an additional fifteen minutes on my screen.

Still, pretty tame compared to some of the others. Could have been worse.

5) Once Upon A Time (2011)

I debated long and hard before making this choice, and I’m not putting him in with a light heart, but before you come at me with pitchforks, please listen.

I like Archie, okay! He’s a fun character, the human side of his backstory was great and gave him a lot of depth and inner turmoil, and the concept of Jiminy Cricket being a therapist is amazing and hilarious. But he’s kind of a shit therapist, whose actions aren’t always what you’d expect from someone who’s supposed to be a conscience and a guide. And despite the show giving us the impression that he and Pinocchio had the same adventures as in the Disney movie (which doesn’t exactly endear him to me - if it wasn’t for his later character development he’d already be Lil Nas X-ing his way down to the bottom of my list), he and August never interacted on screen after the First Curse broke. Not once. And if there’s someone who needs therapy and support, that’s August Wayne Booth.

Yes, I did say at some point that I’d like to fix this in a fic. I’ll write it when I don’t have like eight projects on my table at the same time.

Finally, two scenes settled the matter for me: one, him pontificating at Snow about her trying to do everything on her own, without even pretending to help her set up the stroller she was struggling with at that very moment. I work with kids every day, I know exactly what she’s going through. Shut your mouth and open the damn stroller, Archie.

And two...That one fucking scene where he’s jumping out of Snow White’s cleavage. Honestly, what the fuck??? I wouldn’t even have remembered it if Libby hadn’t reminded me, so I suppose my brain tried to remove the traumatic memory before it caused any further damage, but it exists, and I’m still wondering why. What exactly was the deal with the writers, when they made that choice? I want a glass of what they were having, because by God, does it sound like a trip-inducing cocktail.

Aaaand we’re done! Remember, this is all part of my personal opinion, and I’m not to be taken seriously even on the best of days. Plus, my favorite cricket-esque character, aside from the book-accurate ones, is Gina from Piccolino no Bouken, who is a duck, a sassy little bastard and no closer to Collodi’s canon than any of these fuckers. So yes, when it comes to choices dictated by the heart, I am an hypocrite. Au revoir!

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 24

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Halloween chapter, part 2.

A/N: Yay, an update! I think some of you are gonna be happy about the characters that are being introduced in this chapter... Also lots of Caleo dorkiness (and canon references) in it! And you'll get to see if you were right with your costume guesses :D

Also like I already mentioned last week, this is the last chapter that I have written so far (when I started posting this fic I tried to make sure I'd have at least 7 chapters ready so I wouldn't have to stress about deadlines... and here we are now) so it is possible that updates may slow down a bit, at least if the chapter wants to become long. But I am still /trying/ to keep up with the regular updates the best I can :) So worry not!

Now, enjoy and let me know what you think!! Ps. somehow we’ve managed to pass 50k words already :O

Words: 4040

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

…

“Hi, you guys!” Piper, who was dressed as Wonder Woman, greeted Leo and Calypso first when they arrived, gesturing for them to come in.

“Hello! I was afraid Argo II had decided to stop working because you guys are late,” Jason the Superman noted as he offered to take Calypso’s coat and put it in a hanger by the door.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Jason, that possibility did cross my mind as well,” Calypso said, casting Leo a meaningful look. “But no, not this time.”

“We’re only 10 minutes late!” Leo protested, checking the time from his phone. “I was busy finishing something… and Calypso took her time preparing herself as well. She probably did her wig for like two hours.” He gave her a not so serious side-eye.

“I did not!” Calypso said defensively. “Yeah, I straightened and combed and braided it but that took me maybe 15-20 minutes so he is highly exaggerating.”

“Don’t worry, Calypso, we know he does that a lot.” Piper smiled at her reassuringly. “Speaking of your wig, though, you look very cute! That hair reminds me of the style you had before my makeover. You’re dressed as the mythology Calypso, right?”

“Yes, I am,” Calypso said, pleased that Piper had figured that out so fast. “I thought it would be fun to be a bit self ironic for once. I haven’t really had a good reason to sew recently so this was a nice excuse to do that as well.” She made a small twirl to show the dress better.

“That dress really looks great!” Piper told her. “I would gladly commission you to sew me clothes; it’s so hard to find anything nice from the clothes stores these days. But Leo.” She turned back to him. “I see someone hasn’t bothered to get a costume. I wasn’t expecting that from you because you’re always so excited about them.”

“No, you got it all wrong.” Leo wagged his finger at her. “I do have it here, but as I told Cal, it would have been too difficult to wear in the car.” He dropped his bag on the floor, causing a loud thud as it hit the ground.

“Alright. Care to give us any hint what it is?” Piper asked curiously. “Seems heavy.” Calypso wondered if this was something they did every year.

“I’m just saying that it’s inspired by some movies that united us three,” Leo noted mysteriously. “But that’s all, you’ll see soon!”

“My mind is blank now,” Piper said. “Jason, what movies have we watched with him?”

“The first one that comes to my mind is Star Wars,” Jason reminded her. Suddenly both Jason and Piper’s eyes widened in realization. “Could it be?”

“Oh no, Leo you didn’t!” Piper doubled over in laughter when it occurred to her what Leo’s costume most likely was. “I can’t wait to see this!”

“I hope you took pictures with Festus!” Jason couldn’t keep his poker face either, and Calypso watched their reactions with confusion.

“Don’t worry, I will show them later.” Leo grinned, unperplexed by Jason and Piper’s laughter. “Now, where can I change?”

Piper showed him an empty room where he could get into his costume in peace, while Calypso started looking around the house on her own. Even though the place seemed rather fancy, Jason and Piper had managed to make it cozier with their personal objects. A lot of them had seen life and were worn but somehow they still fit in with the newer decorations.

As Calypso reached the living room, her focus went to the guests who had already arrived at the party. She waved at Annabeth and nodded awkwardly to Percy. Even though she and Annabeth were friends again, she wasn’t quite sure how she should act near Percy so ‘reserved’ felt the most natural reaction. She couldn’t help but smile a bit, though, when she registered their costumes: Annabeth had a Chiton just like her, although grey instead of white, with some silvery accessories and a beautiful owl shaped brooch over her chest. Perhaps the most impressive part of her costume was the Greek styled helmet that was used in battles and that hid most of Annabeth’s curly ponytail. Calypso was quite certain she was dressed as Athena, the Greek goddess that according to her was the one she identified herself the most with. Percy on the other hand was wearing sandals, shorts, a tropical shirt, and a belt with fishing equipment and he was holding a fishing rod in his hand. Calypso couldn’t quite figure out who he was supposed to be, other than some sort of fisherman.

“Hi,” Calypso greeted them as she got to hearing distance with them. “You guys look nice. You’re Athena, right?” She asked Annabeth. “Matches my theme, don’t you think?”

“Sure does,” Annabeth nodded, eyeing Calypso’s costume. “You look pretty much exactly like how I imagine the mythology Calypso.”

“Thank you. Coming from you it’s a big compliment.” She turned Percy. “I can’t figure out who you are, though. You don’t seem like a Greek god?”

“I am, though,” Percy replied. “I’m Poseidon.”

“Ooh, so that’s why the fishing gear!” Calypso realized. “But I don’t think the Greeks had tropical shirts quite yet.”

“No, you’re right in that.” Percy shook his head, smiling a bit. “But I’m basing this on the version in the Peter Johnson series. That’s how he was described in it.”

“I didn’t know you have read that too,” Calypso said, “But makes sense. Um, the Poseidon and Athena of the mythology hated each other, though. Not that it’s really my business, but I hope you two are doing fine…?” She asked a bit nervously, not wanting to be the reason for their issues.

“Oh yeah, we are,” Percy confirmed immediately. “It’s just an old joke – back when Annabeth and I were reading the Peter Johnson books I used to say Poseidon is my godly parent and Athena Annabeth’s, and that just kind of stuck with us.”

“Alright.” Calypso accepted Percy’s answer, turning her attention back to Annabeth. “By the way, where did you get that helmet? It definitely looks fancier than most of the plastic ones you see at costume shops.”

“My father collects these things,” Annabeth answered, lifting the helmet from her head for a moment. “I’ve told you he’s also a historian, right? Well, one of his friends wanted to make a replica of the ancient Greek helmets with some modern machines and dad bought this from him. I’m not saying this is 100 per cent accurate but it looks pretty cool, in my opinion.”

“It does,” Calypso confirmed.

“You came with Leo, right?” Percy asked then, to which Calypso nodded. “Where is he? I can’t wait to see his costume; he usually goes for something that is way over the top. Last year he was Hiccup from How to Train your Dragon and he had made a Toothless costume for his dog. I’ve also seen pics of him as Iron Man. Yes, with a full iron costume.”

“I can believe that of him,” Calypso chuckled, imagining Leo in the said costume. “He just went to change into his costume because apparently he couldn’t drive in it. He didn’t reveal what he was going to be, but it does sound like something extravagant.”

“I missed his costume last year but I’ll be sure to have a camera ready when he shows up this time,” Annabeth said happily. Calypso was relieved that the conversation was going this well; she hadn’t known what to expect beforehand because this was the first time she was in the same room with Percy since the ‘incident’. Talking with him now, though, made her realize that holding a grudge wouldn’t be smart and he seemed to think the same way.

“I just realized,” Calypso decided to change the topic, “that I’ve never heard the story of how you guys know Jason and Piper. So how did that happen?”

“It’s a funny story,” Percy started, smiling at the memory. “Jason and I used to be the captains of rivaling soccer teams when we were around 16. Well, one time Jason’s team was visiting us but we were playing in an arena that had just been renovated so I hadn’t been there before. I may have been a bit late from our team meeting and I was a bit lost so I decided to ask one staff lady where I was supposed to go. Somehow she got our teams mixed up and I ended up in the locker room of Jason’s team. Some of Jason’s teammates said that my expression was worth seeing when I realized the mistake but I dunno about that. The funny thing was that somehow the same thing had happened to Jason; he had also been late for the meeting because of traffic or something and he had gotten into my team’s locker room. Well, after the game we had a good laugh about it together and ended up talking about other stuff as well and noticed we have a lot in common. That’s how we became friends. When we moved into the same town, we started training together at least a few times a week.”

“Piper and I didn’t learn to know each other until Jason and she started dating a couple of years ago and they invited Percy to some party where I went with him. To be honest, I was a bit suspicious about her at first because we seemed very different but eventually we learned to respect each other’s qualities. And here we are,” Annabeth added.

“Those are some cool stories,” Calypso said. “It seems like a funny coincidence that somehow we all ended up in this city even though most of us are from somewhere else. Like Leo is from Texas, I am from Greece…” “Speaking of him,” Annabeth had to muffle his laughter with her hand, “I believe we are finally getting some answers about his costume.”

“Oh… my gods” was all Calypso could say when she turned to the direction Annabeth was looking at. “You’re really something else.”

Leo was completely hidden inside his costume, but Calypso could practically hear him grinning at their reactions. The costume looked very much like in the movies; golden (just painted, not real gold, because there was no way Leo could afford something like that) plating forming a droid with big round eyes and an ability to speak lots and lots of different languages: C-3PO from Star Wars.

“Holy shit, dude, that looks so real.” Percy gaped at Leo. “I’m starting to understand why you spent so much time in your room the past few weeks.”

“Why C-3PO, though?” Calypso asked once she managed to put her poker face back on. “Does that have some story behind it?”

“Because, duh, it looks cool!” Leo exclaimed with a mechanical voice from inside his costume. “I dunno, ever since I first saw C-3PO as a kid I thought it would be cool to be able to build something like that. And hey, his ability to translate like all the possible languages is pretty neat. Me? I just know 3.”

“Isn’t it uncomfortable in there, though?” Calypso asked. “That thing must be heavy.”

“Sunshine, I’m always uncomfortable. But this was a childhood dream of mine so I sure as heck am not backing off now,” Leo said with determination.

“A stubborn one, aren’t you?” Calypso stated. “Even I have to admit, though, that you have certainly done some thorough job with it. Hey, I should take photos before I forget! You don’t get to see this every day.”

The others dug their phones up as well and for a while Leo just made silly poses while they took pictures, clearly enjoying the attention his costume got. Eventually he started demanding that Calypso should join him for the photos but she was a bit hesitant at first.

Leo argued: “Come on. Greek mythology meets Star Wars? You don’t see a crossover like that every day.”

“Can’t argue with that, I suppose,” Calypso said and went next to him. “Well, do we have some kind of story for Calypso and C-3PO’s meeting?” she asked as Percy and Annabeth waved at them to look at the camera.

Leo considered her question for a moment. “Oh, how about this? C-3PO somehow ends up on Calypso’s island - because duh, Calypso is cursed so she can’t leave the island…”

“You seem to know surprisingly much about Greek mythology, just saying…” Calypso noted while trying to smile for the photos, resting her hand on the metallic shoulder.

“I told ya, Sunshine, you can blame tía Callida for that…” Leo reminded her. “Anyway, I imagine those two don’t really like each other at first because they’re so different but eventually they learn to respect each other’s skills; C-3PO can translate basically any language and Calypso is good at all kinds of handiworks, which is hard for a droid.”

“And? What happens after that?” Calypso asked curiously.

Leo considered it for a moment. “C-3PO doesn’t really wanna leave Calypso’s island but he has galaxies to save with his friend R2-D2 so he has to go but he promises to come get her afterwards.”

“Aw, Leo, that is kind of sweet,” Calypso commented, suddenly aware of the metal arm that had snuck around her waist. “Does he… does he ever return, though? Shouldn’t that be impossible?”

“For a human, maybe, but he’s a droid,” Leo noted. “Unfortunately during a big battle he blows up badly but the ever so faithful R2-D2 collects the pieces and finds someone who can rebuild him again. And boom, he makes it back and lives happily ever after with his goddess.”

“What’s the term you use when you enjoy a fictional relationship a lot?” Calypso asked. “Shipping?” Annabeth nodded at her. “I don’t know, Leo, to me it sounds like you ship those two. Isn’t that a bit weird?” “What, why would that be weird? I’ve seen people ship…”

“I see these two have gotten into a full on nerd mode again,” Annabeth said quietly to Percy while they were waiting for the flatmates to stop their bickering so they’d be able to take the photos. “Not projecting themselves into their characters, right?”

“No, definitely not,” Percy agreed.

Eventually Leo and Calypso stopped bickering and Annabeth was able to take the pictures. Even if Leo was mostly hidden by his costume, Calypso felt a bit self conscious about the fact that these were the first photos of them together. They did a few goofy poses because Annabeth and Percy told them to, but Calypso thought she probably looked more embarrassed than funny in them.

Once they were done, Leo went to Annabeth who was going through the photos and bowed his head a bit to see them better. “Hey, these do look pretty cool! It’s probably just the lighting but here you look like you’re blushing to some funny comment C-3PO made.”

“Show me!” Calypso yelped nervously and took the phone from Annabeth. When she saw it, she could immediately tell Leo was not wrong; she really was blushing. “Yeah, it’s definitely those candles in the background that do it… And I think it’s pretty warm in here, maybe all the people here heat this room…”

“OK, if you say so,” Leo said but Calypso imagined that he was looking at her suspiciously through his costume.

Trying to get the others’ attention to something else, she said: “So, who else has arrived so far?”

“Nico and Will. I think they went to get some snacks from the dining room,” Piper, who had just entered the room, answered.

“Leo told me that Nico is Jason’s relative, but what about Will?” Calypso asked her.

“Will is Nico’s boyfriend. This is the first time we’re meeting him but they seem very good together. At least he seems to have a grounding effect on Nico, and he actually listens to him, unlike most of us. Um, sorry, it’s a long story, one that I should probably save for another time. Nico may be a bit hard to approach sometimes but he is a very nice guy when you learn to know him. Just… been through a lot. I guess like many of us here. But he seems way happier now,” Piper said, and as if on cue, they could hear some distant laughter coming from the dining room.

“We should start a traumatized college kids’ club,” Leo attempted to joke, and the others hummed in agreement. Maybe she did belong to this group after all, Calypso thought. If only they knew, though…

“This just got cheerful,” Percy said, interrupting Calypso’s thought process. “Who’s up for blue candies? Get them before Will and Nico eat them all.”

“I heard that, Jackson!” Nico entered the room without a warning. “No offense to you or your mom but blue candies aren’t exactly my thing.”

“Hi, Nico,” Percy greeted him, seeming a bit flustered after Nico’s comment. “You haven’t met Calypso, right?” He pointed at her.

“No, I haven’t,” Nico took a quick look at her and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Alright, in that case, this is Calypso Astal. And Calypso, this is Nico di Angelo,” Percy introduced them to each other.

“Nice to meet you,” Calypso approached him, but he seemed to evaluate her for a moment before he took her hand.

“Likewise,” Nico said finally. “I think Jason has mentioned you a few times.”

“Oh. That’s nice,” Calypso said a bit unsurely, like every time she met a new person. The lonely years still had a toll on her, and even though she liked spending time with her friends, meeting new people was always a bit nerve wracking to her. “You’re his relative, right?”

“A distant cousin,” Nico answered. “Yeah, our fathers are related, but I have my mother’s last name and Jason has his.”

“I take it your mother has roots elsewhere, based on the last name?” Calypso asked.

“She was Italian,” Nico shrugged. “I lived there my first years too. But now I can barely remember those times.”

Calypso noticed the use of past tense, but she thought it was probably better to not ask about that in the middle of a party. “Oh. I’ve been to Italy a few times. I’m originally from Greece.”

“What brought you here, then?” Nico asked.

“Dad’s work,” Calypso responded in a tone that told everyone she wouldn’t elaborate on that topic more. It seemed to have become a habit to her.

“Anyway,” Leo, who had managed to stay quiet for a surprisingly long amount of time in Calypso’s opinion, stepped forward and cleared his throat. “Nico, a little bird told me,” he looked at Jason, “that your boyfriend is a Star Wars geek. Is that true?”

Nico took one look at Leo’s costume and his mouth twitched when he realized why Leo was asking. “He is, but don’t let him get started on it, or else he will never stop. Besides, he’s not my boyfriend, I prefer calling him…”

“A significant nuisance?” Will showed up from the dining room, carrying a plate full of food. “Don’t mind him, he just warms up a bit slow.”

“Yes, this is Will,” Nico sighed, addressing those who hadn’t met them before. “Sometimes he’s a nuisance, sometimes he can be quite OK. When he’s having a good day.”

“Same back at you, dear,” Will laughed. “Did I hear someone mention Star Wars, though?”

“You did,” Leo said, stepping forward so Will could see his costume better. Needless to say, Will looked beyond thrilled.

“Oh boy, here we go again,” Nico said quietly before Will even had time to comment on the costume.

“Woah, that must be the best C-3PO costume I’ve seen. And yeah, I’ve seen a few so I don’t compliment you for nothing,” Will assured.

“Thanks, man, I did spend quite a while with it,” Leo said, high fiving Will. “Glad someone here appreciates good things.”

“I still hope you’re not one of those fans who have only seen the most recent movies and not the originals,” Will noted.

“Heck, no!” Leo exclaimed immediately. “The original three for the win! Mom and I used to watch them a lot… um, when I was little. She was a big fan. But the newer ones just don’t feel the same.” Calypso had a feeling Leo had almost said something else, but he had changed his phrasing at the last moment.

“You have a pretty good taste,” Will said approvingly. Then he finally realized he hadn’t even asked Leo and Calypso’s names before getting into the geek mode.

“So, who are you two? I already met Percy and Annabeth earlier but I don’t think I know you guys yet.”

“I’m Leo Valdez, and this is my, um, flatmate, Calypso Astal,” Leo introduced. Calypso hoped there was a better word to describe their relationship than a ‘flatmate’ but at the moment it was probably the best and the safest option there was.

“Flatmates, huh?” Will repeated. “How did that happen?”

“I was in a hurry to find a roof over my head so I put in the application that I also accept mixed flats,” Calypso replied. “I didn’t meet Leo beforehand because, um, that would have been a bit difficult to arrange in this case, but it worked out OK.” Calypso noticed Leo was looking at her from the corner of his eye, and she realized she had never even talked about that option before. The truth was that she had had to plan her leaving very thoroughly so her father wouldn’t notice and she had driven to Indianapolis as fast as possible, with no time for second guessing.

“And my flat happened to have a room free because our boy Jason decided to move in with Beauty Queen,” Leo added to that story. “It’s really no stranger than that.”

“Oh, right, someone must have mentioned that you and Jason used to be flatmates,” Will recalled. “I just didn’t connect the dots.”

Jason had apparently finished welcoming the rest of the guests because he joined the group in the living room. “That reminds me, I don’t think I’ve asked you, Calypso, if Leo still leaves his dishes undone and if he has empty milk cartons in the fridge.”

“He used to do that?” Calypso asked with amusement. “After seeing his room that’s not so hard to picture, but no, he’s been pretty tidy in the common area. Although one time he bribed me to do his dishes for him in exchange for some of his food.”

“It was a good deal!” Leo protested. “You didn’t have to cook and you also got to taste some Valdez’ sizzling hot quesadillas so I’d say it was a win-win. Besides, you didn’t seem to have anything against that.”

“Alright, I will admit the quesadillas were pretty good,” Calypso conceded. “But a true gentleman offers them without even asking. Well, other than that he’s been OK,” she told Jason with a playful twinkle in her eye.

“I guess he really is able to change his habits, then,” he replied. “At least when the flatmate is someone he...”

Before Jason had time to finish his sentence, Leo intervened: “Folks, do we really have to be talking about my cleaning habits in front of people I don’t know? The first impressions are important, especially when it comes to Supersized McShizzle!”

“We’re just being honest, Repair Boy.” Calypso couldn’t resist booping his metal covered nose. Apparently she just didn’t know how to not cross the line with this boy, she sighed in her mind.

“Is that all? Where’s the feisty Sunshine I know?,” Leo said in a low tone, so the others could barely hear his comment, coming out almost flirty.

“Shut up,” Calypso answered equally quietly but held her gaze at him.

“Ahem,” they suddenly heard Piper’s voice behind them. “In case you’ve stopped with the flirting, I’d like you to meet a couple of people.”

Calypso turned to see the newcomers and as she recognized the Hunter badges both of them had attached to their shirts, something in her mind just suddenly turned off.

[haberdashing]

What A Tangled Web We Weave (6/?)

TMA AU diverging from canon at the end of episode 92. Jon is forced into an arranged marriage by Elias; Martin does what he can to help.

on AO3

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6

Martin called in to work the next day, told Elias he wasn’t feeling well.

It wasn’t a lie, even, not exactly. Martin felt off, felt tired, felt vaguely queasy; he wasn’t sure whether if he got properly sick he’d let out half-digested food or just spider silk, and he definitely didn’t want to find out the hard way in the archives.

But also, he wanted to put off going back to the archives as long as possible, especially as long as he looked like that.

Martin briefly considered wearing a very carefully-positioned face mask 24/7; it wasn’t as if the archives staff ever got dress-coded for such things, after all. (They’d turned it into a game, back when everything to do with the archives still felt new and exciting, when not being fired for such things was a relief rather than a prison; Sasha had worn an old historical re-enactment outfit, Tim had worn a sexy Halloween costume which was definitely intended for a different demographic of wearer, and Martin, after moving into the archives, had worn brightly-colored footy pajamas for a week straight, and Elias didn’t say a word to any of them about it.) But he didn’t actually own any appropriate masks, and besides, trial runs with an old shirt revealed that having fabric pressed up against his eyes was decidedly unpleasant.

Until it wasn’t, anyway. Until it very suddenly wasn’t, until he stopped feeling the slight twitching of his eyes moving even under firmly closed eyelids and the pressure of the fabric weighing upon such delicate tissue, until it seemed like someone had used a dimmer switch on the world...

Martin rushed to look in the mirror, feeling a bit silly as he saw himself wearing an old shirt as the most makeshift of face coverings, like a schoolkid who wanted to explore what would happen if people wore clothes this way instead-

But when he removed the shirt from atop his head, the eyes were gone--not just closed, but gone, with no sign that they had ever been there in the first place.

Well, the six extra eyes were gone, anyway. His two original eyes were still there, the ones that he wanted to think of as his normal eyes, except that they were still an inky off-black all over, and that wouldn’t do.

Maybe... maybe he could just wear sunglasses all day long, even inside the archives? It’d be easier than covering the majority of his face to hide six extra eyes, at any rate...

But no, if all this could change, if he could will away his extra eyes by just ignoring them hard enough, then who was to say that he couldn’t will his eyes back to looking normal while he was at it? Maybe he could hide this entirely. Maybe he could make this work without everybody he came across knowing he was some sort of- of eldritch monstrosity now just by looking at him.

Martin stared at his own reflection in the mirror, stared at his own eyes, pouring every ounce of willpower he could muster into turning them human-looking once more, bringing back the whites of his eyes and the brilliant hues that had been consumed by inky darkness...

A minute or two went by as Martin kept examining his own reflection, and nothing seemed to be changing, and he was about to give up and see what he had in the way of sunglasses when...

...when it worked.

For a moment, there, he looked right again, his eyes appearing the same as always, normal and human and definitely not the organs of some freaky spider being-

Then he tried a bit too hard to look closer, to make sure his eyes looked exactly the same as usual, and a split second later, just as he was beginning to let out a soft sigh of relief, Martin found himself having eight human-looking eyes on his face.

Martin balled up the shirt he had been using and threw it at the bathroom mirror, muttering an expletive under his breath as it bounced off of the mirror, rammed into his knees, and crumpled to the floor around his legs.

The next few hours were a blur of staring into the mirror and trying to will his eyes into cooperating, and by the end of the day Martin felt fairly confident that he’d be able to handle going into the archives tomorrow... though maybe he’d bring a pair of sunglasses, just in case.

Truth be told, though, while Martin did call in to work, it wouldn’t be entirely accurate to say that he didn’t visit the archives that day.

He hadn’t meant to do it. He hadn’t even known it was something he could do now. Martin had just been idly considering what chaos and drama must be continuing to unfold within the archives in his absence, thinking about how unfair it was that he couldn’t be there right now, that he had made his deal to become Jon’s betrothed and yet he was stuck here in his flat while even spiders got to watch Jon go about his business from the cobwebs growing in his office...

And without warning, the world shifted around him.

It took Martin a moment to adjust, to comprehend what he was seeing. It all seemed disjointed at first, with everything being so huge, a world of vast wooden towers and solid off-white cliffs as far as the eye could see... and then it all clicked, and Martin realized that he was in Jon’s office back in the archives, just a very big version of Jon’s office.

Or rather, Martin determined as he looked down at himself and saw several pitch-black legs with thick webbing draped across them, Jon’s office was its normal size, and what had changed was that he was very small.

While Martin knew a decent amount about spider anatomy, especially thanks to his recently reading quite a few Wikipedia pages related to the subject, he didn’t actually know how to make himself move with eight legs. But once the thought occurred to him, the movement came naturally enough, and he skittered across the office and onto Jon’s desk without any difficulties.

Jon... didn’t look so good. Maybe it was because of the angle, because of the size difference, because every little blemish was blown up and all too easy to spot now, but Martin could swear the bags under Jon’s eyes had grown bigger, though how that was even possible he couldn’t say. His brow was furrowed as he stared at his computer monitor, but the glare was too bright for Martin to tell what exactly was on the screen. Some sort of research, almost certainly, but beyond that was only guesswork.

As Martin moved around trying to get a better angle to look at Jon, Jon’s gaze moved away from the computer screen until his eyes met Martin’s own.

Martin froze then, froze and waited for the worst, because he knew what Jon did to spiders, knew well the fate that now awaited him.

But Jon just stared at him for a long, long moment before letting out a soft sigh and saying almost under his breath, “Go away.”

Martin, naturally, had no intentions of doing so, and responded by staying resolutely in the same spot and standing tall--well, as tall as present circumstances allowed, which wasn’t very.

Jon pressed one hand against his temple. “I know, I’ll have to deal with you eventually, but can’t I at least have the rest of the month to myself first?”

Martin considered his options before heading towards the computer keyboard. He very much doubted he’d be given the opportunity to write anything using it, and even if he did he wasn’t sure what he’d write, but it was better than just standing there, unable to communicate at all.

As Martin climbed atop the space bar, Jon let out another, longer sigh and said, “Well, I tried asking nicely...”

Martin knew what was coming the moment the world around him was covered in shadow, but still he looked up to confirm it, to see Jon’s hand rapidly rushing towards him, preparing to squish this spider like any other-

And then Martin was back in his flat, back in his own body, heartbeat racing and breaths coming quick and loud as he processed that he wasn’t going to die, at least not right this minute by Jon’s hand...

But even if he’d managed to get his eyes more or less under control, Martin was still connected to spiders deep down, was linked to the Web and its minions to his very core now.

And now more than ever, Martin knew what Jon did to spiders...

[cyclone-rachel]

So, I don’t actually remember when I first heard of Supergirl.

I was aware that that character existed, in as much as I knew of Transformers, maybe, or Harry Potter. Actually, along with Harry Potter and Star Wars, I discovered Supergirl in 2015- although unlike those, which happened in summer, I found her in the fall, the day after her show premiered.

When you go to my blog and search that tag chronologically, the first post that comes up is her costume, which I apparently reblogged on March 8th, 2015. I don’t remember that, nor do I remember the lead-up to the show starting, but I remember being in the Owings Mills branch of the Baltimore County public library system (which was in the same building as the community college I went to) when I watched that first episode, the day after it premiered. I also remember that I was watching Gravity Falls at the same time, and that episode was… weird. To say the least. It was the beginning of that show’s series finale, so of course they were going out on a high note.

Anyway. Again, I’m not sure what my reaction to the first episode was, but I know I liked it enough to create a playlist for it starting on October 28th, and I kept reblogging posts and gifsets about it as I continued watching it from that point. It was something, along with Agent Carter when that show came back for its second and final season, that I could watch with my mom, even though she didn’t pay attention, and that was a good thing for me. I remember asking my parents if we had CBS, and telling them I wanted to watch something on it on Mondays at 8 PM. I didn’t know anything about Supergirl other than her name when the show started, but I wanted to know more.

And as I kept watching, captivated by the relationship of the Danvers sisters as well as pretty much everything else, I became obsessed, to the point that my mom, when talking to my aunt, referred to it as my favorite show- which she was right about. From the second episode, I tried my best to watch it live, which I attempted to do for every episode in the first season aside from episode 12, Bizarro, which I couldn’t watch because the power was out that night. But other than that, I had a great watching experience, and the show was kind of an escape from my college work, with Kara as a character I loved and could look up to.

Also, there was a Brainiac in the show, and I was really into Brainiac, so I readily accepted Indigo/Brainiac 8, especially because her episode had a Legion ring and I loved that a lot. But that was only a 3-episode arc, and I loved the show even after she died.

Season 2 started, I was at college away from home, and was planning to watch the episodes the days after they aired, on the CW website. I didn’t particularly care what network the show was on, it was back, and I was really excited about it. And for the first half, I really enjoyed it- especially because I got to share my enthusiasm with my friend Pesky, who (while not exactly watching the show) was willing to put up with my talking about it and even wrote a fic based on the Red Kryptonite episode of season 1, albeit for Superman instead of Supergirl.

That season was also when I started speculating about Brainiac 5 appearing on the show, due to his connection to Kara, and because of his family and connection to Superman in the LOSH cartoon, I started drawing parallels between him and Clark’s relationship, and Kara and Lena’s relationship. (I later regretted this.) Because of it, Pesky and I began writing a lot about these two relationships, especially in the second half of the season, and it was a great distraction from some of the less-good parts of those episodes. Thanks to Pesky, I got back into writing fanfic, and I couldn’t be more grateful for it, or her. (Also, that season- during a snow day in early February- was when I got into Supergirl Radio, a podcast that I still love to this day, and it changed my life.)

Especially because we ended up creating the Winndox ship, which (unbeknownst to us) would actually become incredibly accurate to what ultimately happened on the show. Season 3 was… certainly a journey, that I enjoyed even more because I got more involved in the fandom in addition to my friendship with Pesky, and especially because of the casting of Jesse Rath as Brainiac-5, one of the greatest decisions in the entire Arrowverse.

Seriously, within a month of the announcement, I had already watched one of his shows, and was planning to watch a few others, and decided just based on that, that he was going to be a great Brainy. Which I was right about, I still love him so much, and his take on Brainy (aside from some stuff in season 4) is so beautiful and complicated, and I cannot say enough things about it. Unfortunately, along with all the great fanfic-writing, and my joining AO3 and having been named New Rachel by Supergirl Radio, the fandom was also very not good, which was why I was happy to join the Sunshine Protection Force Discord in the spring of 2018.

Also again, and I cannot emphasize this enough, Winn and Brainy had some real scenes together, and they were rivals just like Pesky and I had hypothesized. It was the most vindicating thing… until November of that year, when Jesse Rath topped it by posting one of my text post memes about Brainy being bisexual, and the following December, he mentioned that his favorite Brainy ship was Brainy and Winn. Also yesterday, there was that video released of Jesse and Jeremy cuddling. Albeit with Chris also in that bed. But still, I love them, and I’m really happy that it’s something that’s at least canon adjacent.

So season 3 was really interesting to watch, and season 4, if partially because I was spending a lot of time working, and trying to adjust to life after college graduation, was… less so. I mean, it was interesting, but it was also really difficult to watch. However, again, at least I joined a really nice Twitter group chat around February of last year, as well as remaining in the SPF.

And so we come to season 5, where I’m still a part of the Twitter group chat and the SPF as well as another great and positive Supergirl discord, I’ve written 100 fics on AO3 and countless others on my Tumblr, I’ve watched all of the Arrowverse shows (except for Black Lightning, sorry, I will catch up soon), I’ve gotten to cohost on Supergirl Radio for an episode, I’ve met a cohost of the Legends of Tomorrow podcast, I have a shirt and poster directly from the SYFY channel because I tweeted a lot about Krypton… those last two things aren’t relevant. But I still like them and they wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t gotten into Supergirl, and although I wasn’t sure how I felt about season 5 at first, especially because of Crisis, these past few episodes show a lot of promise and I definitely don’t mind living in a post-Crisis world. Kara Danvers, Alex Danvers, J’onn J’onzz, Querl Dox, and everyone else, I will always love you all, thank you for showing me light during the dark parts of my life, thank you for giving me hope, thank you for being there and being inspiring.

I’m so excited for this 100th episode, even with all the ups and downs that have led us this far, and hopefully, here’s to 100more. Or however many you end up getting.

Thank you, Supergirl. Even though you’re not perfect, and your fandom is far from it, you really are my favorite show.

[tinsley-goldsworth]

band-aids don’t fix bullet holes (chapter 1)

read chapter 1 on ao3!

 summary: from the start, ricky and c.c. were the best of friends but ricky didn’t know c.c. wanted to be more than that and in the end, everything came full circle

Wc: 1633

Tw: Graphic Descriptions of a murder

a/n: this is set in the buzzfeed unsolved universe and i kind of tweaked the canon (even though it hasn’t fully been established) to fit the plot!

~

From a young age, Ricky Goldsworth and C.C. Tinsley were the best of friends. They grew up together in a small neighborhood and spent the majority of their childhood running around and wreaking havoc, in an innocent, child-like way of course. Ricky was the one who always came up with the ideas and C.C. always tagged along, glad to help out a friend. The adults in the neighborhood found their friendship endearing and never really got mad at the two friends for the troubles they got themselves into.

As they grew up, Ricky and C.C. discovered their interest in mystery books and furthermore, murders. They loved reading Nancy Drew and Sherlock Holmes books and while C.C. was more invested in the detective work and the forensics behind certain cases, Ricky was more interested in the creativity of the murders. When they graduated elementary school and moved onto middle school, the duo began reading about murder mysteries that occurred in real life and enjoyed watching detective shows.

In 7th grade, Francesca also joined their small friend group because she also loved murder mysteries and detective books and introduced Ricky and C.C. to the world of secret agents and spies. She explained that she wanted to be a spy one day and got Ricky and C.C. hooked on a great spy television show. During Halloween, the trio decided to dress up in loosely related costumes so Francesca dressed up as an FBI agent, Ricky dressed up as Jack the Ripper, and C.C. dressed up as Sherlock. Their costumes captured the true oddball nature of the friends.

Many people would assume that C.C. and Ricky would grow apart and branch off to find new friends in high school but they were still the best of friends in high school. Their love for murder mysteries didn’t die either and C.C. and Ricky took a forensic science class together during sophomore year. One day, when they were doing DNA analysis in class, Ricky had turned to C.C. and mused, “Isn’t ironic that as you’re learning how to solve crimes, you’re also learning how to commit a crime and get away with it? Like with all the stuff we learned this year in forensic science, I could, hypothetically, murder somebody right now and not be caught.”

“If our forensic science teacher heard that, I think she would have a heart attack,” C.C. responded and the two laughed before returning to their work, never addressing that remark again.

It wasn’t until junior year when C.C. realized that he was crushing on his best friend. He never consciously thought about how attractive Ricky and thought that wanting to hold your best friend’s hand was normal which, to his surprise, apparently was not. C.C. found himself constantly admiring Ricky, no matter where he was or what time it was. He thought that Ricky looked beautiful when he was stressed about the chemistry test when he was laughing, and even when he was simply watching television.

Because the town C.C. was in wasn’t very progressive and kind of homophobic, it was difficult for C.C. to accept his feelings. He found it difficult to accept that he liked boys in addition to liking girls and it took him about half a year to finally come out to himself. After moving on from that obstacle, C.C. had to accept that he was crushing on his best friend and that his best friend probably was unaware of this development of feelings. Even if Ricky did know, he probably didn’t feel the same about C.C., which is why C.C. never ever wanted to admit his feelings aloud.

Francesca used her abnormally accurate observational skills to quickly determine that C.C. had a crush on Ricky and C.C. knew that Fran knew, but didn’t want to admit it, partly out of shame. On a sunny afternoon, Ricky, C.C., and Francesca were studying for finals together and Ricky had to bike back to school because he left his notebook in his locker, which left C.C. alone with Francesca. The moment Ricky closed the front door, Francesca took her opportunity and excitedly asked, “So, when are you going to ask him out? You clearly are into Ricky! You need to confess your love!”

“Fran, have you been watching spy dramas that are centered around romance lately? Sorry to break it to you but love in real life is very different from fictional love,” C.C. awkwardly replied, frowning a bit as he returned to studying. Francesca pried the notebook away from his hands and continued on as if she hadn’t heard his words.

“I’m pretty sure Ricky is into you too! I can’t really read him but I think he likes you back. You should totally ask him out!” Fran was speaking a mile a minute, a habit that became evident whenever she was overly enthusiastic. She looked like a little excited puppy, clearly ecstatic about the idea of C.C. and Ricky dating.

“I’ll do it when I’m ready,” C.C. lied, hoping that would make Fran drop the subject and she did, dialing her excitement levels back down to the minimum. Fran didn’t mention C.C.’s crush on the oblivious Ricky Goldsworth but would always raise her eyebrows anytime C.C. began staring at Ricky with lovestruck eyes.

Much to Francesca’s dismay, C.C. wasn’t ready to admit his crush on Ricky even after they finished senior year. He knew that he might not ever get the chance to admit his love for Ricky after graduation but decided to bite his tongue and hold his peace forever, hoping that he would be able to move on and find a girl in college that would help him get over this dumb crush of his.

Regardless of C.C.’s remorse, graduating from high school was a sentimental experience. The three friends were going to different colleges and parting ways so they tried to make the best use of their last few days together. Fran was going to New York to study sociology, C.C. was going to Boston to study forensic science, and Ricky was going to California to study criminal psychology and the three had consulted with each other before choosing majors. They spent the last few days together up all night, going through photos and taking a stroll down memory lane. When they officially had to part ways and move into their college dormitories, Francesca, C.C., and Ricky held a party for themselves, promised to stay in touch, and went off to college.

Unfortunately, C.C. lost contact with Ricky halfway through freshman year but occasionally texted Francesca. C.C. tried contacting Ricky several times but his texts never sent and Francesca couldn’t get a hold of him either. Even Ricky’s parents didn’t know what was going on with Ricky and claimed to not have seen him for weeks. C.C. knew this was a red flag and something was wrong but was too busy with school work to take time to investigate.

It wasn’t until C.C. got a job as a private investigator when he looked into the case of Ricky Goldsworth. He searched all public records and every lead he found led to a dead end. C.C. finally gave up on the case, deciding that Ricky probably moved to a new country to start a new life.

Then, he was assigned to a new, intriguing case at 11 pm on a Monday night. The investigation agency refused to disclose the particular details of the case, insisting that he showed up to the crime scene before looking at the gathered information so C.C. drove to the crime scene. When he arrived at the crime scene, he was greeted with one of the most gruesome sights he would ever see in his entire life.

The victim’s body was sprawled on the body, limbs splayed out and bent in crooked positions. His mouth was agape and his eyes were open and devoid of any emotions. There a giant hole in his chest where the murderer tore out his heart strategically, reminding C.C. of the Jack the Ripper murder. Dried blood had formed a dark pool around the victim’s body and there was no murder weapon around. The murder was so bizarre and unique that it was almost poetic and outlandishly creative.

The victim’s name was Harold, according to the secondary, who was also assigned to this case, at the scene. He was enjoying his Monday night by watching some television when the murderer came in at around 9:30 pm and killed him. Harold was a relatively boring man and didn’t seem to have any reason to be the target of such a horrific murder but here he was, flesh rotting by the minute. The secondary also claimed to have been interviewing witnesses and neighbors to gather a list of suspects. C.C. was thankful that the secondary already did all the heavy duty work and left C.C. the most exciting part of the case.

“Who are the suspects?” C.C. wasted no time getting straight to the point. This case was the first case that had intrigued him in a while and he was itching to catch the suspect and get a confession. Solving this case would certainly look good for his reputation at the investigation agency.

“We don’t have many suspects,” The secondary frowned, glancing at his notes and circled a note. “But we do have one suspect that we should look into.”

“What’s their name?” C.C. glanced over at Harold’s corpse, wondering who could ever have the audacity to perform such a grisly murder.

“Ricky Goldsworth.”

~

chapter 2 is out!

[aphrodaisyacs]

Stoki Fic Rec List

No Six Sentence Sunday this week just me and my first ever fic rec list. This is the result of me caring too much for a rarepair that not enough of the fandom cares about but ANYWAY. The fic rec lists I’ve seen for this pairing are quite a few years old, so I decided to make a new one of my own. The list is sorted in chronological order of the MCU timeline, and also quite long, which is why I put it under a read more:

under bright stars burning by @thelightofthingshopedfor (nearly 21k words, Teen and Up)

When Steve is a kid, he meets a boy named Loki who says he's a prince and shows him real magic. It's kind of weird (but that doesn't mean he doesn't like it).

A fic where Steve and Loki sort-of grow up together, but it’s still set in the canon-verse (don’t worry, the timeline discrepancy gets explained). Kid!Loki and Kid!Steve are so damn adorable, there’s quite a bit of angst between them but there’s also more than enough hurt/comfort to make up for it. I was so disappointed when this fic ended where it did, because I enjoyed it so much that I wanted it to go on forever.

Silver Moon by aurilly (23k+ words, Mature)

Steve and Bucky meet a weirdly dressed guy who claims to be a banished prince from some place they've never heard of. Most New Yorkers would have left the lunatic right where they found him, but Steve and Bucky have never been good at doing things the easy way.

Okay so I cheated a bit, because this fic is actually Steve/Loki/Bucky, but. It is so well-written that I’m including it in this list anyway. In this universe Loki discovers his heritage far earlier than in canon, which leads to a series of events resulting in him getting his powers stripped then banished to pre-WWII Midgard- specifically, Brooklyn. After repeatedly failing to convince Heimdall to return him to Asgard, Loki eventually settles into a life with Steve and Bucky. But then WWII happens. Slow build, quite a bit of angst, but there’s an optimistic ending.

Those Who Favor Ice by CatalenaMara (18k+ words, Explicit)

“You haven’t said anything incorrectly so far,” Steve said, and could hear an edge in his voice.

“Men of such beauty and strength and talent often feel they must outshine everyone they meet. That they must cast a very large shadow so that the world sees only them.”

So many emotions crossed Loki’s face so quickly that Steve could only interpret a few. Resentment. And longing. And need.

“I wasn’t always strong,” Steve said slowly. “Not as a child. I was sickly - so weak that anyone could beat me.”

Loki’s gaze sharpened. “And did they? Beat you?”

Don’t mind me I just love fics that feature Jotunn!Loki and/or Loki dealing with his heritage and Jotunheim in general. We get to see a possibility of what might have been if Heimdall hadn’t betrayed King Loki, which apparently involves Loki running off to become King of Jotunheim and later Steve’s lover. Beautiful prose, smut that doubles as character study, A+.

Madness by @scotlandevander (19k+ words, Teen and Up)

Time makes a deal and when Time makes a deal, it plays out till it is fulfilled. Steve Rogers is learning this the hard way and he’s quite sure it’ll end in madness.

Steve is stuck in a time loop spanning from the moment he wakes up in the 21st century to the events of T:DW. Needless to say it doesn’t take very long for him to run out of fucks to give. I really love the gradual development of Steve’s relationships with Bruce, Natasha and of course Loki throughout the loops. The progression of Stoki is slow mainly because Steve’s a useless bisexual and nice to read. Definitely one of my all-time favourites for this ship.  

Living Contradiction by Ebyru (1k+ words, Teen and Up)

Loki hates Captain America, but over time he realizes it’s a lie.

Excerpt: "Captain America is brave, strong, independent and an astounding leader. Maybe no-one can tell, but far beneath the mask of strength he wears and the flag he carries, Loki can see he’s just a follower."

Something short and sweet set vaguely post-Avengers (2012). Contemplative character study as Loki learns more about the man underneath the Captain America costume. I recommend this if you’re in the mood for a quick pre-slash read.

In The Land of Gods and Monsters by thisiswhatthewatergaveme (nearly 5k words, Explicit)

Steve makes a mistake: he lets his guard down. He lets a momentary relief cloud his judgment. He doesn’t spring into action when Loki spins around and presses a tight-lipped kiss against his mouth. Doesn’t even move when it softens, slightly, Loki’s hands curling over his arms.

And then the god is gone and Steve realizes something important. He realizes, perhaps for the first time, that there are different kinds of war.

While the author has tagged this fic as Porn Without Plot, I think it’s more accurate to say that there is plot, it’s just that the entire plot is centred on the build-up to the porn. And said build-up is mostly Loki catching Steve unawares to kiss him, interspersed with Steve suffering some moral crises over being attracted to his enemy.

Thawing Universe by Vulcanmi (17k+ words, Teen and Up)

A what if that starts after the events of Thor: the Dark World but before Winter Soldier. What if Loki had gotten tired of playing Odin?

Parts 1, 2 & 3 are purely Stoki, while part 4 & 5 are Thor/Bucky-centric with background Stoki. Loki gets bored of pretending to be Odin rather quickly, and thus he goes down to Earth to continually invite himself over to Steve’s apartment. Steve has exactly zero say in all of this. This series makes the pairing seem way more adorable than it has any right to be, all the while keeping everyone in-character. Part 1 builds the relationship, part 2 has the other Avengers reacting to it, and part 3 has Steve finally getting off his useless bisexual ass and asking Loki out for real. One of my favourite depictions of this pairing for sure.

Strange Love by @dvswraatins (12k words, Teen and Up)

It starts with a simple taunt.

Spoiler alert: the aforementioned “taunt” is Loki putting on a great show of seducing Steve in order to piss off Thor. Featuring Loki being unapologetically a piece of shit, Loki as a part-time Avenger and narration that becomes hilariously descriptive whenever Thor enters the picture. One of the things I adore about this fic is that it explores a dynamic for this pairing I didn’t know I needed- of Loki trying to use Steve for his own gain, but Steve manipulating him right back.

The Dreamfasting by suchaprettyface (80k+ words, Explicit)

This is the highly unlikely and yet somehow inevitable story of how Captain Steve Rogers, Avenger, becomes the lover of Loki Odinson, younger prince of Asgard and Public Enemy Number 1 according to the FBI database of known offenders.

Steve and Loki discover quite by accident that they are connected by a very old form of magic whose initial purpose seems to be getting them in each other's pants as often as possible. But there's far, far more at work than that...

To break this series down to its bare essentials: lots of porn + lots of plot. Post-AoU, Loki gets captured by SHIELD but almost immediately after Steve runs into him again, the two of them begin sharing wet dreams. The more dreams they share, the stronger the indescribable connection between them grows. Yet, in the background of all the dream-fucking, there is the mystery of why these dreams even exist in the first place, as well as Steve finding himself physically changed by them. 

Look At Me Now by @arimabat (33k+ words, Teen and Up)

Steve is on the run. His already complicated life becomes just a little more complicated when an old enemy shows up unexpectedly. But Loki has changed since their last encounter and he could have crucial information to stop a fast-approaching threat. If he’s willing to tell Steve.

Or, the one where Loki keeps bothering Steve until he figures out a way to get something useful out of it and then it all just becomes a mess.

Post-Civil War, pre-Ragnarok. Loki is absolutely delighted by a jaded, cynical Steve, and Steve is very much unamused by the unwanted attention. Steve attempts to take advantage of this attention anyway by interrogating Loki about the Infinity Stones, which leads to the gradual development of a relationship neither of them expected. I absolutely love the conversations and banter between everyone in this fic- not just between Steve and Loki, but also between Steve, Natasha, Sam and Wanda. However, (spoiler alert) the ending for this fic isn’t all too happy BUT the good news is that it’s part of a series, which isn’t complete yet at the time I’m typing this up.

Be My All-American Boy by @gavotteangel (6k+ words, Teen and Up)

It's Steve Rogers' birthday and it's Independence Day. Naturally, the freshly reunited Avengers vacation to a lake house and throw him a party. Nothing goes as expected.

Or: LOKI HAS A BIG FAT CRUSH HAPPY 4TH OF JULY FOLKS

Post-Ragnarok, post-Civil War, with a dose of Infinity War being cancelled. Highlights include Loki having a crush on bearded!Steve and abhorring the fact that the crush even exists in the first place, Loki trying his best to hold back his stabby instincts on his new allies, Loki and Natasha being drinking buddies and Loki eating the rest of Steve’s birthday cake out of pure pettiness.

I’m also going to shamelessly self-promote and rec my own series Mischief Managed (nearly 20k words, Teen and Up)

Set post-Ragnarok in an AU where Infinity War is cancelled and Steve and Tony have gotten their shit together.

The series follows Steve and Loki while they form an unlikely bond as they team up to prank others, again and again.

Initially based on this headcanon, with Steve getting the opportunity to confront Loki about it, which somehow leads to both of them teaming up to prank the rest of the Avengers. Part 2 expands on the unlikely friendship they formed in part 1, except this time Steve and Loki take advantage of the media circus and fake date to piss off homophobes. Meanwhile, the Avengers are forced to watch this train wreck happen in real time. According to the comments this series is funny enough that it made people laugh not that I’d be able to judge properly since I’m the one who wrote it. 

Tangerines are Sweet Enough by @fel-as-in-tumbld (4k+ words, General)

(Steve is seven, cold and hungry and it's Christmas morning; he's seven, sitting on the floor, pulling perfect miniature suns out of the foot of his stocking. Tangerines; he's seven, and he can feel the flesh tear under his thumbnail, can taste the burst of flavour on his tongue, the juice slide down his throat; he's seven, and he's sitting with his mother and everything has been cold and hunger, but there is this--tangerines, like eating the sun with his mother, and the warmth of her laughter--

Steve hasn't eaten a tangerine since she died, since Bucky vanished off to war; too many memories, too much intimacy.

Post-Infinity War fic where Loki actually gets revived I’m looking at you Russos. It has beautiful prose which sets a soft, wistful tone to the whole thing, helped by the fact that it takes place during the winter holidays. Steve and Loki’s relationship here is... well, melancholic, mostly, but it does end on a warm note. 

*

This rec list only reflects my personal reading experiences (and are also only limited to AO3), so feel free to add more suggestions in reblogs or replies!

Honorary mention goes to Remember This Cold by @veliseraptor (nearly 800k words, ranges from General to Explicit depending on the part) which I didn’t include in the main list because let’s be real, anyone who’s looking for Stoki fic recs has already read this series.

[mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker]

“While they're depicted as happy and in love, there are a lot of details that don't make sense.”

Oh boy I can’t wait to hear this from the pinnacle of comic book journalism that is Screenrant....

20 EVERYTHING ABOUT "ONE MORE DAY"

 Okay fair enough

 19 THEY HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON

 Sense of humour. Study different forms of science. Science and acting are both about making sense of life. Troubled childhoods. Living double lives. Living with guilt over relegating on responsibilities which hurt your family. Immense inner strength. Oh and btw having shit in common isn’t the be all and end all of romantic relationships so shut up.

 “It's possible for two people to love each other and not have much in common. ”

 That’s what I said.

 “At some point, however, a couple needs to have something to build a relationship on.”

 And they did see above and add in being one another’s friends, confidants and support group.

 “Peter Parker and Mary Jane couldn't be further apart from each other in almost every single way. He's a science geek with a weird sense of humor and no social skills.”

 Also heroic, also gult ridden, also responsible, also inner strength, also working class, also lost a parent, also lived a double life....like MJ.

 “Meanwhile, MJ is an aspiring model/actress, except for when she's a super successful model/actress.”

 Everyone knows model/actress = a personality right.

 “In recent years, she's shown a more entrepreneurial side, but that still involved opening a nightclub, the sort of place where Peter doesn't fit in at all. They say opposites attract, but there comes a point where that just becomes nonsensical.”

 Yes there is but that point is well beyond the ways in which Peter and MJ are opposite to one another because their traits often balance one another out.

 18 THEY GOT TOGETHER WAY TOO SOON AFTER GWEN'S DEMISE

 They got together almost 2 years after Gwen died shut up.

 “Time in comic books is a funny thing. The Marvel Universe has a sliding timescale, meaning that it's hard to peg down when stories took place in relation to each other. The time that passes in the real world means nothing. That being said, Peter and MJ started dating way too soon after Gwen Stacy's demise.”

 Canonically its still 2 years so shut up.

 “She lost her life in Amazing Spider-Man #121 (1973) by Gerry Conway and Gil Kane. By the end of the next issue, the seeds were being planted for them to get together. They didn't immediately start dating, but Peter seemed to get over his "one, true love" suspiciously fast”

 2 years isn’t too fast and she wasn’t his one true love. Nobody has a one true love.

 17 SHE FLIP-FLOPS ON PETE'S LIFE AS SPIDER-MAN

This list is about stuff that doesn’t make sense. Anybody dating a superhero is probably going to flip flop over their own or their loved ones’ lives being potentially endangered by super powered serial killers.

 “Look, dating a superhero must be hard. Nobody can blame someone for not wanting to deal with it, or trying to convince a loved one not to risk their life. Also, it can make having a social life impossible. It's understandably frustrating, but at some point, enough is enough.

It seems like Mary Jane can't make up her mind about Peter's life as Spider-Man.”

 Obviously she can because she chose to date him, chose to marry him and stayed with him all the time sans stories where she was written as OOC.

 She both likes it and dislikes it which makes her compelling and its realistic too. She doesn’t HAVE to make up her mind definitively and every day stay on track with liking or hating it because people flip flop over shit all the time.

 Shit Spider-Man himself flip flops about BEING SPIDER-MAN!

 “Sometimes she's fully supportive, while other times she wants him to quit. ”

Gee its almost like something as dangerous as a superhero’s life would have lots of factors that impact how you feel depending upon what side of the bed you got up from.

 Also she never wanted him to quit outside of when she was OOC. She only once wanted him to remain retired when she was heavily pregnant.

 “Considering that she knew Peter was Spider-Man before she even met him, it's time for her to figure out her feelings and make a decision. ”

 a)                  She did, hence they married

b)                  She doesn’t need to make a decision YOU the individual reader want her to but realistically the character for her own sake doesn’t have to

 “They both know he's not going to give up being a hero, so it's time to be grown ups.”

 16 THEIR ENGAGEMENT WAS SUPER QUICK

In the history of mankind there have been quicker engagements.

Shit STAN LEE got married super quick, he married his wife Joan of 60 something years literally the day she got divorced.

“In Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21 (1987) by David Michelinie, Jim Shooter, and Paul Ryan, Peter Parker married Mary Jane. Behind the scenes, this occurred because Stan Lee wanted Spider-Man to get married in the newspaper comic strip that he was writing at the time. Marvel liked the idea, and decided to have them get married in the comics as well.

The problem was that they were broken up at the time. So, the writers had to quickly bring her back, rekindle the romance, have Peter propose, and then get married.”

 This is total fucking bullshit.

Mary Jane had been a mainstay in the titles for over 4 years before the wedding, being the most recurring character sans Spider-Man himself.

Moreover broken up isn’t strictly accurate, Peter and Mj years prior to their wedding had been effectively dating whilst being in denial about it to one another or publicly.

Their romance and love was always there they just weren’t being honest about it until Peter proposed.

Yeah the proposal-wedding was a few issues, but the romantic tension and relationship had been years in the making.

“Anyone that's ever planned a real wedding knows how unrealistic this whole timeline was.”

Yeah unless you were having a quick wedding at city hall with a small ceremony and there was a time skip before and during the final part of the story where they tie the knot.

15 DO THEY HAVE A BABY OR NOT?

“The second Clone Saga that ran during the mid '90s had one of the most confusing endings ever written. Basically, the writers needed to finish Ben Reilly's storyline while also tying up all of Peter's loose ends to make it possible for Peter to become Spider-Man again. One of these plot threads was the fact that Mary Jane was pregnant.

The editors felt that Spider-Man being a dad would age him, so they suggested that Mary Jane not have the baby, after all. However, it was also heavily implied at the time that Norman Osborn had the baby taken away. This storyline was teased for a few years, before ultimately being forgotten about.”

This list is about things that do not make sense. This list is not about things that are merely unresolved.

14 WHY DOES PETER STILL USE THE BLACK SUIT?

“In Amazing Spider-Man #299 (1988) by David Michelinie and Todd McFarlane, Venom made his frightening first appearance. Mary Jane thought she saw Peter wearing his black costume, until a mouth formed and turned into a horrific smile. Venom didn't hurt Mary Jane, but the experience was still pretty traumatic for her.

After Spidey defeated the villain, Mary Jane asked him to stop wearing the black costume. This made sense, and Peter happily obliged. Except, he keeps bringing the costume back from time to time.”

 Yeah and it’s justified each time.

He brought it back in the 1990s during McFarlane’s run because he needed something stealthy and he discussed this with MJ.

He brought part of it back in the Clone Saga because he had nothing else to wear but it wasn’t the whole suit.

He brought it back during the Mackie run with Larsen because again he had nothing else to wear and MJ was presumed dead at the time anyway.

He wore it again in Back in Black at a time where he wasn’t wearing it in front of MJ and wanted to send a message to criminals that he was now going to be a more violent and scary fucker (it worked).

He wore it again in Brand New Day when he was impersonating Venom and he and MJ were broken up.

He wore it again in ASM #800 when he needed the power boost from the symbiote to beat Red Goblin.

And all this aside, MJ got over her fear of Venom anyway.

So rather than making no sense each individual instance actually did add up.

“Sometimes there's a specific reason, other times he just seems to feel like wearing it. He knows it scares his wife, but apparently Peter likes the way it looks too much to care.”

Not true as I just explained. Peter himself doesn’t even LIKE the suit anymore.

13 HOW SUCCESSFUL IS HER CAREER?

“Not everyone is a fan of Peter and Mary Jane's relationship. While many fans love her, some feel that it's weird for Peter Parker to be married to a supermodel. That can be a valid complaint, but the problem is that Mary Jane has had one of the most inconsistent careers ever.

She's constantly moving between being a struggling model, a highly sought after model, a soap opera actress, and even giving up on show business completely multiple times. It's understandable for careers to have ups and downs, but it seems like the writers can't even decide if she's famous or not.”

Because a model and actresses career and fame can’t fluctuate right?

 12 THEY'VE BOTH DEALT WITH TOO MANY STALKERS

WTF is too many exactly when one of you is a famous-semi-famous actress and model and the other is a superhero?

Like shit dude, there are people, a lot of them women, who aren’t famous and can have stalkers.

“In the late '90s, Marvel's first attempt to undo Spider-Man's marriage resulted in Mary Jane getting on a plane which then exploded mid-flight.”

Technically that was not their first attempt.

“For the next year or so, everyone believed she had passed away. Instead, she had been snatched away by a deranged stalker, who caused the explosion so that no one would look for her.

Before that, Mary Jane had to deal with Jonathan Ceaser, who attempted to take her away several times in the early '90s.”

 OP misspelled ‘once’ as ‘several times’.

 “Even Peter had to deal with his ex girlfriend, Felicia Hardy, dating Flash Thompson just so she could be near him during that same time period. ”

That isn’t a stalker.

“People really need to give these two their privacy.”

 Again...not a thing that doesn’t make sense which is the point of the article.

 11 THEY BREAK UP CONSTANTLY

constantly

Dictionary result for constantly

/ˈkɒnst(ə)ntli/

adverb

1.    continuously over a period of time; always.

 Hmmmmmm...doesn’t seem to add up with breaking up:

 For the first time in the late 1970s.

Again in Spider-Man vs. Wolverine.

Trial separating (which isn’t a proper break up) in 2001.

Seperating for real in OMD/OMIT

Breaking up again in Superior when it wasn’t even the real Spider-Man. And no her dumping him again twice doesn’t count.

 Gee, four break ups across 40+ years = constantly apparently.

 “Comic books can't just rely on action, they also need to have drama. One of the most common places writers create drama is in the hero's relationships. It's probably very hard to date a superhero, and it's understandable that not everyone would want to sign up for that ride. At some point, however, enough is enough.”

 I’m not saying I’m innocent of lazily repeating the same words and phrases over and over again, but I also don’t get paid to write for a big website.

 Also, wtf does enough’s enough even mean?

They broke up a few times, one due to genuine issues, once because of a misunderstanding, once because MJ wasn’t well and Peter was OOC (which doesn’t count) and every other time also because they were both OOC.

 “It's hard to feel bad for them when Peter and Mary Jane break up, because they do it all the time. He's always focusing on saving people, she's constantly moving to another part of the country to work on her career. When Mephisto forced them to break-up, he could've just waited a few months and gotten the same result.”

Again all the time and constantly does not = 4 times across 40 years.

Also that wasn’t Mephisto’s endgame but whatever.

10 HOW DID SHE NOT NOTICE OTTO'S MIND IN PETER'S BODY

Hey look, the secod legitimate point on this list. The answer was because bad writing.

9 HOW DO THEY AFFORD THEIR APARTMENTS?

“A common complaint across various forms of fiction is that characters always seem to be able to afford apartments that they shouldn't be able to. For Spider-Man and Mary Jane, however, it's pretty bad. Of course, there are times when Mary Jane's career is going very well, which explains how they can afford a nice apartment.

For the most part, however, Peter is a struggling photographer and she's a struggling model. Somehow, they are consistently able to afford apartments with giant skylights. ”

 If this happens across most fiction in ways which aren’t more egregious than anything else (because Joey and Chandler’s apartment is egregious given their jobs) then it’s not worth mentioning on this list.

“Seriously, Tony Stark would struggle to afford some of the places they've lived in over the years.”

He really wouldn’t.

8 PETER WAS SUPER SHALLOW ABOUT MEETING HER

First off he wasn’t super shallow, he was as shallow as you would expect any teenager to be in that situation.

Also, a teenager being shallow. Thats certainly something that doesn’t make sense and belongs on a list entirely about shit that makes no sense.

“In the early stories, Peter could be kind of shallow. Granted, he was a teenager, but he always just seemed interested in dating the prettiest girls. ”

Ugh...no he didn’t. He asked out 3 young women who were all relatively attractive but none of whom were like compared to Hollywood starlets of the era. There was something of an implication that Betty Brant, his high school love, was not as attractive as the more glamorous Liz Allan whom he typically rebuffed in favour of Betty.

Also if we’re playing the ‘its super shallow to just date the hottest people you can’ then Peter and MJ were no worse than one another at those ages.

“Considering that he was always getting bullied and picked on, he should've been more understanding.”

a)        Being bullied and picked on isn’t innately going to make you more understanding of anybody

b)        Understanding of who? Who was he being inconsiderate towards exactly? He asked out two girls he was attracted to, attraction being an involuntary thing in the first place. He presumed his elderly not hip aunt who described MJ as being a good house wife was going to pick someone unattractive or boring, especially considering that if she was going to be set up with him she probably couldn’t get a date with anyone else. Meaning in his teenage head she must be unattractive

“Then, when he found out that she was beautiful, he was suddenly interested. ”

 My God how dare characters as teens be shallow and flawed. It makes no seeeeeeense!

 “It turns out, Peter's type was "any girl that looks good, regardless of her interests or personality."”

 That’s true which is why he quickly began to turn away from MJ because he found her shallow and preferred Gwen who was seemingly not shallow...

 7 WHY DID SHE NEED TO BE SET UP WITH PETER IN THE FIRST PLACE?

...huh?

 “Every comic book fan knows the story of how Peter and MJ met. A recurring plot line in early Spider-Man stories was Aunt May constantly trying to set Peter up with her friend's niece. The two didn't actually meet until The Amazing Spider-Man #43 (1966) by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko, when Peter opened the door and she said the iconic phrase "face it tiger, you just hit the jackpot!"”

 Wow...the degree of incompetence in this paragraph is truly impressive.

 First of all it was ASM #42 not #43...how do you fuck that up. More importantly it was with Lee and Romita Senior not Lee and Ditko. SERIOUSLY how do you fuck that up.

 “What's weird about this, however, is that Mary Jane was a beautiful and outgoing girl. Peter was busy being Spider-Man, and was considered a nerd by his peers, so it's understandable that he'd need help getting dates. Mary Jane, on the other hand, should have been doing just fine.”

 Lets ignore how this was explained in Parallel Lives a story which has a major plot point referenced by the article more than once.

...why is this presumption Mj NEEDED to be set up. Maybe she just agreed as a favour to her aunt.

6 HOW DID SHE KNOW TO SAY THE JACKPOT LINE?

Because she knew she was sexy and could tell by his reaction he didn’t realize that and was taken aback by it.

“Ok, this might seem like a nitpick,”

Why let that bother you now.

 “The famous scene where Peter and Mary Jane first meet plays out like this: Peter answers the door, and Mary Jane is standing and delivers the famous line. It's a memorable moment, but it also doesn't make any sense.

Mary Jane never met Peter before this.”

Not formally no, but yes she had and knew what he looked like.

“How did she know she was a "jackpot" for him? Maybe she wasn't his type?”

His reaction spelled it out for her.

“For all she knew, he could have answered the door and been very disappointed. Also, maybe he wouldn't care what she looked like? It was a pretty arrogant thing to say, looking back, and she's lucky it didn't backfire.”

 *rolls eyes* oh fuck off.

5 THE REASON SHE CALLS HIM TIGER MAKES NO SENSE

“For years, everyone focused on the "jackpot" part of Mary Jane's famous introduction, but apparently, Peter was focused on a different part. Apparently, he never understood why she called him "tiger," especially because the nickname stuck. In all honesty, it's a good question. Especially during those early years, Peter Parker was anything but a "tiger."

In the original Clone Saga that ran during 1975, Peter actually asked Mary Jane for the reason. It turns out, it's because he's not a tiger and she's just playfully teasing him. That's fine, except why did she say it the first time she met him? How did she know he wasn't a "tiger?"”

a)           Because she called everyone that

b)           Because Aunt May and Aunt Anna probably told her about him

 4 THEY DON'T EVEN TRY TO HIDE KNOWING EACH OTHER

Yeah they do.

 “Peter's never been great at keeping a secret identity.”

Yeah that is why hardly anyone knew it before Civil War...

 “His entire scheme is that he takes pictures of himself fighting crime as Spider-Man, and then pretends that he's just Spidey's photographer. He's basically telling everyone that he's connected to the wall-crawler in some way.”

Yet it worked so obviously he is good at hiding it.

 “Even worse, whenever Spider-Man runs into Mary Jane, they often blatantly talk to each other in public. They always forget to pretend that Mary Jane isn't supposed to know Spider-Man. ”

He talks to lots of people in public and MJ has the easy cover story of knowing/dating Spider-Man’s friend Peter Parker.

“That, or they go way over the top and really awkwardly state that they don't know each other.”

No they don’t.

“At some point, someone's going to notice Spidey flirting with Peter Parker's wife and put two and two together.”

Yet they never have so...

 3 HOW DID SHE FIGURE OUT HIS SECRET ID?

“As previously stated, Peter is kind of terrible at keeping a secret identity. ”

As previously stated no he isn’t

“Often times, Peter doesn't even get caught as Spider-Man, people just end up figuring it out.”

Again a lie from the author who didn’t even know Romita Senior isn’t Steve Ditko.

“For example, after dating Peter during the '70s and the '80s, Mary Jane broke up with him, moved away, and then came back to New York. ”

Actually they broke up in the 70s and began dating after she returned in the 80s.

“When she returned, she revealed that she had figured out his secret.

While that made sense, later stories contradicted this. It was eventually revealed that she saw Peter leaving his house dressed as Spider-Man the night Uncle Ben died. So, she didn't figure it out. Obviously, this was a retcon, but the result is that Mary Jane lied to Peter. She didn't figure anything out!”

a)           Seeing Peter Parker enter an abandoned house and Spider-Man emerge would count as figuring out his identity

b)           She never actually told him directly she figured it out like she was a goddam detective

2 THEY BOTH KEEP HANGING AROUND THEIR EXES

As do most comic book characters...

“Both Peter and Mary Jane had healthy dating lives before marrying one another. There's nothing wrong with that. On the other hand, it's strange how they're both constantly hanging around their exes. ”

Or refreshingly healthy...

“Peter still brings Black Cat around constantly, and he and Betty Brant are still very close.”

He dated Betty as a friggin teenager and the author reaffirms he doesn’t understand what constantly means.

“Meanwhile, Mary Jane dated Harry Osborn while they were both in college, and the relationship did not end well for him. Now, years later, everyone is always hanging out together and that's a little strange. Hanging around with your exes typically leads to disaster, and based on how many ex-boyfriends and girlfriends are around, Peter's Spidey-sense should be tingling.”

Or again healthy and an affirmation of a deep bonded friendship that goes beyond personal baggage from when they were young and dumb.

1 GWEN WAS MEANT TO BE PETER'S TRUE LOVE, NOT MJ

Again, not something that doesn’t make sense. In fact it makes less sense for Gwen to be his true love since they were not a great match and true loves are fairy tale bullshit.

 “The end of Gwen Stacy is one of the most defining moments in comic book history. Up until that point, the hero saved the girl. Part of what made this story so memorable was that Gwen Stacy was always meant to be Peter's one true love.”

As far as Stan Lee was concerned yes but not everyone else.

Also OTLs are bullshit.

“Her demise rocked his world, and he's still affected by it, even to this day.

That's understandable, but it also strains Peter's relationship with MJ. She's always been understanding, but how many times can she come across him crying over Gwen's picture in the attic before it starts to effect her.”

He has literally never ever done this ever.

“She's constantly being reminded that she might be Peter's second choice.

Again with the misuse of constantly and no she isn’t because Peter has told and shown her she isn’t second best more than once.

And again, not a thing that doesn’t make sense however you slice it.

You what really doesn’t make sense.

This person being paid for this garbage.

[ultralaser]

i'm just gonna go ahead and spoil the fuck out of hellboy 2019 bc it's awful and i can't think of a good reason not to

thomas haden church shows up as lobster johnson! but he looks ridiculous, like, a cheap halloween costume version compared to, say, the period costumes in captain america or wonder woman. and he has NO SET UP so he just comes off like a joke, it's not, oh this is a wierd noir pulp hero in **gotham city**, it's, lobster johnson, nazi hunter. is hellboy a world with cool superheroes, and if so, why isn't hellboy one of them? is he an x men now? idk it doesnt work tho

baba yaga shows up! she has a house on chicken legs that's rendered beautifully, but then she has one of the worst face prosthetics i've ever seen, it literally looks like a cheap monster mask from party city. so much for the grace and elegant spookiness of a doug jones suit, this baba yaga mask can't even lip sync well

guy davis kaiju demons show up! but they aren't, cool, they're just, they have as much screen time as the ogdru jahad in hellboy 04, but they show up and start just gruesomly killing ppl, like same with thr giants fight earlier on, the movie uses the r rating to push a lot of just dismemberment, disembowelment, graphic bodily harm, it's gross and mean and dumb and out of character for the comics. therr's the helicopter shot of the tall man walking through the tower bridge, then two bat demons fky up in front of him and tear someone in half and all their guts fall out. what? why

king arthur and merlin show up! merlin is, christian for some reason? and king arthur is boring. this sequence is nearly saved by ian mcshane's narratiom, but not really. witches bad, she created a plague but not, the plague? england is the most important place in history, blah blah, no. king arthur legend of the sword does more with excalibur as a magic artifact, and drunk merlin from transformers the last knight is way more compelling than Christian Merlin, warrior for god

they do the quick ww2 origin flashback, ala thomas and martha wayne, joe chill, pearls. kroenen is there and looks bad, ilsa looks fine, rasputin, tbh feels like they got the same actor who did a poor job in 04, he's generic in a boring way, the whole scene is unnecessary

okay, so, then halfway! through, after hellboy has been sent to england to help the rebel general from rogue one, and they name their perennial giant hunt 'the wild hunt', and they all betray hellboy and stab him with a bunch of spears, and are killed brutally by giants, and then hellboy brutally kills the giants, and is rescued by new girl, who talks to ghosts and was rescued by hellboy from being replaced by a fairy changeling (who is back, running around putting milla back together after king arthur dismembered her and locked her still-living pieces in boxes around england?), and hellboy both knows her from all along but also hasnt been back since, and knows shes a psychic but also hasnt seen her since she was a baby, depending on the scene?

THEN finally daniel dae kim's ben daimio shows up, and he's NOT EVEN IN THE BPRD, he's with british intelligence, and he takes hank's anti-mutation polyjuice serum from days of future past to repress his were-jaguar form, and he has a special gun designed to KILL HELLBOY because he doesnt trust him not to be the actual devil, despite, HIMSELF, being cursed with a monstrous destiny

the scene in the trailer with hellboy, new girl, and daimio on a bprd mission, with hellboy punching daimio to activate his hulking out? THAT'S IN THE **SIX MONTHS LATER** EPILOGUE. the movie ENDS with the three of them finding abe sapien

so this whole thing? is a fucking ORIGIN STORY. it is EVERY SUPERHERO MOVIE FROM 78 TO IRON MAN TWO, it is ONE HERO, ALONE, IN A WORLD WITH NO OTHER HEROES. it's not even the x-men because they're not recruiting hellboy to join their team, it's like if the x-men were just xavier and logan and a nunch of fbi guys.

meanwhile, ddk and new girl are both americans doing british accents, david harbour is still playing hellboy as a 75 year old teenager, and ian mcshane, bless him, is just playing ian mcshane

also, just, i think the intent was for harbour to play it as the stone right hand is just really heavy? but it ends up looking like a cosplayer who misjudged the weight of his prop hand an hour into the con. i want to say del toro did a better job of making it look like, this is actually hellboy's hand, and not, this is ron perlman wearing a wierd prosthetic.

and also, amazing advances in prosthetic technology aside, why didnt they just get dave bautista, if they wanted surly hellboy, or dwayne johnson, if they wanted comic accurate charming hellboy, because neither of those dudes would have needed a muscle suit. hellboy ends up (AGAIN) looking like one of the fucking dwarves in the hobbit, who wore fat suits to look like they were built like john rhys davies, but if they turn their head wrong you can see their prosthetics floating like trump's wig

have the balls to give him his wierd jawline from the comic, or don't fucking bother

okay, okay. OKAY. so, you guys remember the BLOOD TORNADO from blade one, the 'original ending' on the dvd where frost turns into a whirling vortex of blood, and they superimpose the dorff's torso just kind of leaning out of it? and it looked awful both because it's super fake anyways but also unfinished? so, there is an EXTENDED scene where professor mcshane comes back as a ghost, and it's ian mcshane's head pasted onto a super fake ectoplasm tail coming out of new girl's mouth (which also, gross), and they forgot to give him a neck, and he's naked? and it's awful and only not laughable bc, frankly, ian mcshane is a treasure and spends the whole moving swearing a lot

and honestly, the most annoying part is that hellboy 19 cribs the ending from hellboy 04 where hellboy is about to give in to his cursed destiny and join team evil, until some white dude says 'no, stop, you have a choice thanks to your father'

hellboy popped into our plane in 1944 and it is 2019, dude is SEVENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. he is smarter than this shit, or at least, old enough to know better. i'm half his age and i can tell when someone is not negotiating in good faith.

and at least in 04 he was doing it to save liz, in the new movie witch milla ALREADY KILLED IAN MCSHANE and it still takes ghost mcshane to cuss hellboy out back to team good, talking him into using EXCALIBUR to rekill her instead of, destroying the world

and do they reconcile that EXCALIBUR was the key to the hellmouth, that hellboy pulling the sword from the stone started the biblical apocalypse? that england is the villain here? no, they joke that now hellboy is king.

OMG and i forgot merlin shows up again to tell hellboy HE IS LITERALLY DESCENDED FROM KING ARTHUR. his human witch mother fucked satan in the 1600s and gave birth to hellboy in hell, and then four hundred years later rasputin and the nazis summon him to earth as he's still a baby. does this make sense? no. is it comics canon. idk, who cares, it's BAD.

this movie is B A D in almost every way, it is amazing how bad it is. it is clearly a 'gritty' remake of the 2004 film, not in any way a new take on the comics. there are FIFTEEN YEARS of new bprd comics put out since that film for these guys to riff on, and they are still fundamentally misrepresenting beloved characters while also just, making up new bullshit.

but when del toro did that, it was del toro's cool bullshit. this is hellboy from the guys who said 'lets have jaime rape cersei on joffrey's tomb'