#cannot tag all of these rn. WILL BE BACK
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happy halloween! 🎃🐈⬛👻🐇
#i just wanted to draw emu as a jiangshi .#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#polysho#enjoy halloween everynyan unfortunately i have to go work a shift. i thought abt dressing up for fun when i get back#but 1 im lazy 2 i dont live alone and its my luck that somebody ends up knocking when im in the middle of being dressed like a clown#so i would rather not risk it. idk how people get into cosplay just for photoshoots/videos i dont have that conviction .#but halloween con was lots of fun and i got to see friends and trade candy so i enjoyed my celebration already. ^_^#also STOP BEATING THE SHITNOUT OF ME IDEK IF I CAN BOOO BACK FROM A SIDE BLOG. YOURE KILLUNG ME#once again some random guy will be hittimg you back. boo#to end my tags i am going to be pissed off because i cannot draw well rn and its KILLING MEEEEEE#im art blocked as hell and mad about it. my zines....#its so annoying like with my personal art its whatever but people spend Money on zines i need to get good.#its been like over a week so i thought inwould be free. sigh#i often draw emu fiending off of tsukasa. the way things should be. amen#also inthink rui would love to go all out for costumes but he got busy modding a tshirt launcher to shoot candy and forgot abt his costume#so hes a tuxedo cat. he thinks hes so funny
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He has a distinctly warrior cat atmosphere about him. Welcome back
#night draws#lego ninjago#morro wu#morro ninjago#think thats all his tags lel#artists on tumblr#if hes actually back its insaneee#brains dying rn i forgot to add half the tags the first time and now cannot remember what I wanted to say
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?Want a break from the ads? If you tap now to watch a short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! Yes, really! If you tap now you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! So what are you waiting for? I'm still waiting.. Why aren't you tapping? Don't you want 30 minutes of ad free music? If you tap now and watch the short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! It's that easy! If you want to be free from the ads forever considerIf it doesn't work for you, then you're using it wrong. Make sure you're using EVERY single filter. If you are currently, then de-select them and make sure they're updated and re-enable them. IT WILL WORK. There's no "it won't work" when you do this. It's either a 1 or a 0. Either a yes or no. Either a "it will work" or an "I am not using the adblocker correctly".
#hi!!! not dead!!! i've just had the most creative block ever DKFBNDF/#here's some poppup whale/dolphin variations for anon! thank u sm vacc anon for the req and kind words - hope u doing good!!/#all of u asks have been so sweet. bless u! <3/#poppup#deltarune#myart#and a teeny tiny ambyu. 2 small for the tag. teeny/#i'm very rusty at art-ing rn - if anyone has any reqs i would love to draw some! i still got lot's 2 go thru too tho <3/#also i finally went back n edited all my image ids into the images themselves - i'll still reblog ids over @ calmparticles-id/#cause 4000 characters will never b enough 4 me DKFJBDF i cannot write short ids 2 save my life or u eyes/#anyways that's enough tags for now!/
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Thinking a lot of thoughts about Hornblower's relationships with Barbara and Maria as a metaphor for his larger relationship to social mobility and ambition, and I think there's actually a lot there - not sure if it was intentional, but I do think that whether intentionally or inadvertently, Forester did an interesting job with the parallels.
Quick note beforehand that some of this is based on my constant brief paging through C. Northcote Parkinson's Hornblower "biography", which, while I absolutely abhor his interpretation of Hornblower, gives even more food for thought on this point. I'm also leaning more into his interpretation of Hornblower's background and childhood, as opposed to the TV show's, so it might not work if you're coming from the TV show's perspective.
Parkinson takes Forester's comment that Hornblower was a "doctor's son" to mean that he was the son of an apothecary, rather than a physician like in the show. I'm not a historian of the period, so I would be hard-pressed to actually try to fit Hornblower's father within the 18th-century framework of medical practice, but either way, given his awkwardness around upper-class life and that he seems to have grown up in rural Kent, I think that Parkinson's claim that he was the son of an apothecary, rather than a physician, does have some reasonable foundation, or is at least equally plausible (to me) as the show's.
Hornblower struggles with poverty through most of the series, especially the first half, but even when he is barely scraping by, such as at the start of Lieutenant, this does not seem to be an abnormal state; and when he finally arrives at wealth and success, he constantly wishes to go back to the days when he was a penniless lieutenant, so from this we might also surmise that he did not come from wealth. (I'm also comparing especially to Jack Aubrey, who, while he admittedly makes a hash of coming into large amounts of money, and who also lives perfectly happily on very little, is clearly quite comfortable being the "lord of the manor" by comparison.)
One of the biggest changes in the second half of the series (from The Happy Return/Beat to Quarters onward) is that Hornblower's career comes into fruition; he becomes a decorated Captain, a member of the landed gentry, a Knight of Bath, a Peer, and finally an admiral, and marries into an enormously influential family. He's constantly in conflict about this, until he isn't: he wants to become someone powerful and important, except that he doesn't like the role once he gets it, and constantly wishes about the old days, then feels guilty for wishing for them. Most importantly, he seems to become less and less himself, his mental narrative getting more and more distorted as he tries to mold himself into the person he thinks he wants to be.
I don't think this is a particular novel interpretation, but I think that in light of this, the contrast between his marriage to Maria and his marriage to Barbara is very interesting. If he was an apothecary's son, his and Maria's marriage would make a decent amount of sense - they'd be from similar social backgrounds, and probably a reasonable match, if Hornblower's career had continued as expected. Hornblower feels comfortable around Maria at the start of their friendship and the very beginning of their marriage in a way that mirrors his comfort with the life he's living at that point - which is to say that he clearly knows and understands what's expected of him and how to interact, in clear contrast with later books. But on the other hand, for all that he originally does love Maria, Hornblower comes to find her to be coarse, unrefined, and boring, and feel that she is not good enough for the person he wants to become. It's at the point when he starts to feel that he's moved passed Maria that he begins to take on his new, ambitious, performative persona.
On the other hand, Hornblower feels stiff and uncomfortable around Barbara from the beginning of their relationship, notably for reasons of class, and even in later books, consistently sounds intimidated by her poise and upper-class untouchability. With Maria he doesn't feel enough for her; with Barbara he feels too much, an almost uncouth sentimentality. He craves Barbara's status like a man drowning, but can't hold up under the weight of what it would mean. They have very strong intellectual chemistry, but socially they are a disaster of a couple, and yet nonetheless, Hornblower continues with the marriage because it feels to him like the thing he ought to do, just as he ought to become squire of Smallbridge. He's so viscerally uncomfortable with his position in the later books in a way he wasn't even at the height of his earlier miseries, but he refuses to let himself admit that his ambitions might have led him astray.
I think it's also interesting that the relationship which Hornblower arguably finds the most fulfilling (or rather, it was written very poorly if Forester wanted to make it feel fulfilling for the reader, but nonetheless it was clearly meant to be the most fulfilling for Hornblower) is his relationship with Marie, who sits at a similar odd juncture to him. In the text, Forester says outright that Marie fulfills Hornblower's interest in upper-class women (ambition) while not intimidating him, yet still being a satisfying intellectual partner. Nonetheless, just as Marie and Hornblower can never actually end up together, Hornblower can never actually be comfortable with his position, and no matter how many times he tries to find solace in her, he is eventually forced to continue down the path that he began, making up with Barbara and fully taking up the mantle of Admiral and Peer of the Realm.
In short, I think that watching the way in which Hornblower's relationship with Maria evolves over the course of the early books and the way in which his relationship with Barbara takes up after that ends up being a very neat parallel to his own ambitions and class identity. With Maria he is at home, but bored and restless; with Barbara he gets everything that he wants, but feels like a fish out of water. I think that particular parallel is part of the particular tragedy of Hornblower - he can't ever be satisfied with the person he was, or the person he's become. But I think that adding in aspects of extreme class difference - even more class difference than the general trends of social mobility during this period - also helps to elucidate the fundamental tension which drives Hornblower forward as a character. The world he came from was too small for him; the world in which he moves now is far too big; but there's no in-between option. He has to choose what he wants to be, and sacrifice some part of himself in order to do that, and in light of this reading of him, I think that there's a lot of interesting dilemmas to be raised.
#SORRY FOR WRITING AN ESSAY ABOUT THIS I DID NOT MEAN TO WRITE THIS MUCH#clearly i need to stick myself onto doing actual academic writing so i stop writing silly essays on Tumblr Dot Com#caveat number one: i am not at all a historian i'm sure historians of this period will find a million problems with this#which i'm not saying to be coy i'm saying it because i would LOVE to understand the period dynamics of class and mobility better#(also sorry for using the word class. i know that one's on thin ice during this period)#this is to say that you have free reign to infodump about whatever historical inaccuracies i've made as much as you want#PROVIDED THAT you leave citations/recommended readings because i want to eat that for breakfast <3#i had already kind of arrived at the apothecary conclusion on my own as per irvine loudon's medical practice and the general practioner#(covers 1750-1850)#but it was not a comprehensive reading so i will have to go back and reread if i ever do anything based on that#also a lot of this class tension stuff forms the base for my bunting/hornblower fic/marxist daydream scenario#which is why i've been thinking about it too much. but we're not talking about that rn#ANYWAYS. caveat number two: i hate the way forester talks about all of the women in the books#and i hate the way parkinson talks about them even more#OBVIOUSLY they all have their own entire inner lives and also hornblower is World's Most Dishonest Narrator#so i don't trust basically anything that gets said about them#however i do think that from a literary analysis perspective (trying to make these books mean something lol)#the way in which forester specifically depicts them in the text does have something interesting to say about hornblower himself#and for the way that i personally read these books. which my interpretation is essentially the thesis of this post#that's why i personally consider them a tragedy (hornblower gives in to the hubris of his ambition)#but why you could also read them as positive (hornblower finds his place in the world against the odds)#the main issue i have with how people (at large not so much on here) often read them is that they read them in the second way#whereas i think that hornblower's fundamental flaw is that he cannot understand that ambition is what makes him miserable#and i think it would be more narratively satisfying of a positive ending if he overcame his desire for status somehow#(i do like them as a tragedy though i think they work well and are perfectly meaningful that way)#i just don't like taking them as the gospel i think you've got to grapple a little with the guy y'know. dilemma time#okay that's enough tag pontificating i'm going to run out of tag but here it is the hornblower thesis i'm going for a walk goodbye#perce rambles#percy yells at cecil scott#hornblower
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Batman #149 by chip zdarsky is mostly unremarkable, but I'm really fascinated by how it makes a great case for 'good' endings not saving 'bad' stories*. Because there's a lot of interesting concepts in this issue (bruce having to deal with his rapidly aging and decaying clone making him think about his own life, re-establishing a 'nest' so to speak for his family after pushing them away, etc) but bc of the OOC slog that came before it, almost every moment w/ the batfamily comes off as unearned and disingenuous imo.
Like, everything with Damian is the perfect example in this. Because in isolation it's...fine. admittedly it's a missed opportunity to not go deeper into how Damian would feel about a clone of his dad who tried to kill considering Damian's relationships with clones of himself (the heretic rejects and respawn) or with former enemies who wanted him dead but who were manipulated and/or brainwashed (like suren and maya).
Zdarsky doesn't go into any of this but you could maybe excuse it as the issue not being about Damian. However, coupled with the previous bizarre characterizations of Damian in 147 and 148, it ends up not being fine- instead it starts to feel...icky how Damian (who, despite often being drawn and written as white, will never have his connection to the non-white al ghuls forgotten and will always be effected by racism even when not portrayed as a poc) is constantly written as overly violent, uncaring and narrow minded in this run. Coupled w/ trying to recanonize the morrison origin for Damian it's like. OH this is badly written and laden with subtle bigotry, sick**
That's me going into detail on it with Damian but it's applicable to other things in this issue- the way Cass, Steph and Duke have all been ignored or turned into jobbers makes their inclusion in the 'family' here feel hollow instead of satisfying. Bruce proclaiming that Zur was still a part of him and he needs to accept responsibility for his actions (when it means taking in clone son) wrings hollow when just last issue zdarsky was bending over backwards to separate Bruce and Zur bc otherwise the Jason thing would get really awkward. Ends are achieved through means that feel hollow or strange. I'm at my destination but damn why'd the bus have to do all that???
I only really have opinions on this latest arc of zdarskys Batman bc it's the one I've read the closest (bc I'm a hater, masochist and avid follower of even the bad damian storylines) but it's not saying great things.
Bc zdarsky can do one thing good in this book, and it's write Bruce and Tim. And yet this entire story, whether of his own volition or editorial mandate, includes other characters who aren't Bruce and Tim, the fabric starts to unravel in very telling ways.
(p.s, I think pennyworth manor is an interesting idea but I feel like in execution it's just gonna be 'bruce living in a house haunted by the memory of the people he couldn't save' but with a different dead guy this time. Illusion of change and whatnot)
*whether or not the ending is good is up to you ofc, as is your opinion on the proceeding arc! I saw some ppl complain that the ending was too "WFA" for them, which I get even if I dont think it'll literally be the same premise. If anything it's probably a lead into the new tec run. Likewise many ppl who aren't in the weeds of Damian and Jason characterization liked the previous arc! But I have my opinions and rest my case before the bench
**disclaimer, I'm white and portrayals of bigotry in comics are complicated and subjective, but I am basing my point here off what other poc comic fans on socmed have been saying about 149. Also the "sick" is sarcasm incase that wasn't obvious
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#bruce wayne#uhhh. not gonna tag the others i dont have time#batman#idk if the zdarsky series has its own tag#anyway yeah. i saw some interesting discussions surrounding 149 and it got me thinking#the experience of reading the issue is inoffensive until i remember how we got here and then all of a sudden i start to feel downright evil#the bruce/zur separation thing pisses me off so bad. MOTHERFUCKER YOU WERE JUST SAYING LAST ISSUE THAT NONE OF IT WAS HIM#and maybe we were meant to agree w Bruce and not Jason in that issue but if that's the case. piss poor job demonstrating it#Bruce never really faces like. interpersonal consequences from the family that last beyond an issue#which is WILD considering the shit he pulled back before they knew he was having a menty b (mental breakdown for those who dont know)#the damian thing is just like. its such clear author bias in ways both lowkey funny and also. not funny. at all#i know a lot of ppl on here didnt vibe w/ batman and robin by joshua williamson but like#i cannot stress enough how he was one of the ONLY ppl in damians corner and now hes leaving that series#he says he approves of the new creative teams assigned but also they're his coworkers. so i dont trust SHIT until its in my hands#anyway one day I'll give a more good faith reading of zdarskys Batman and i do wanna read his daredevil some day#but as it stands he suffers from terminal ''has seemingly never read a comic not abt my special white boys and refuses to try''#which means everyone is going to have to suffer through my haterism#also sorry for no images. i really want to but i just don't have the wherewithal to do alt text rn
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Beyblade X Ep 34: A Rainbow Guest
GES SJACSLSVWJEVEJEVENEBB BC LABJEBWEVD KB VEJEDV WHAT IN THE OMINOUS SPINNING DRAKE IS THIS EPISODE
Okay, first off, I WAS SO DISTRAUGHT AFTER GETTING HIT WITH A FOUND FAMILY EPISODE THEN WE GET HIT WITH JAXON’S TEAMMATE, SIGRID NANAIRO AND HER REALLY BLUNT ATTITUDE TO EVERYTHING EXCEPT SUSHI. Okay I’m gonna be honest, I did get spoiled that she was Multi’s sister BUT LEGITIMATELY I’M STILL SURPRISED
She and Jaxon are similar but not at the same time??? I mean they both love Komaba Sushi (I figured ever since Memories of Sushi ep because the bigger set was given to her while Chrome was too busy focusing on Jaxon and getting fed blah blah blah and yeah) AND THEY’RE PRETTY BLUNT but Jaxon seems to prefer choose his words while she prefers to choose her actions
The way Robin went to grab the mask and practically suffocated Jaxon had me giggling, LIKE DO THEY JUST HAVE IT ON STANDBY???


Like he was so happy to see her and now he’s getting choked by his hair in the mask
Anyways when Robin was surprised she knew him I figured he’d put two and two together, since in the first ep he knew Jaxon was part of Team Pendragon and so was she? Mini plot hole I suppose
BUT YEAH I noticed throughout the episode Robin kept defending Multi from Sigrid even though he keeps getting cut off which, GAHHHHHH AND EARLIER DURING THE VOTES SHE TRIED TO COMFORT HIM they’re adorable honestly
anyways the reactions when Robin and Jaxon find out they’re sisters 😭


THIS IS THE MOST HORRIFIED EXPRESSION IVE SEEN JAXON EXPRESS IM CRYING WHY DOES HE LOOK SO MORTIFIED
and later on we get a look at baby Multi and Sigrid, WHICH OMG I WANNA DRAW MULTI WITH SHORT HAIR NOW
and…. Babadudum…. You guessed it… why I’m immediately posting my reaction to this….



We get a lovely momentary session where Chrome is slowly continuing to lose it over Jaxon in the corner of a room while Sigrid sits there like the bestie who has to hear about her friend’s relationship problems
CHROME YES I WANTED TO SEE YOU BUT NOT LIKE THIS, HAVE A DAMN SLICE OF LIFE MOMENT OR SOMETHING HELP
and thennnn some shady shit just casually breaks into Komaba Sushi and steals the bey plans Multi had. Hello, how does no one spot this THEY HAVE TWO HUGE ASS BUILDINGS SURROUNDING THEM???
#beyblade x#notkamenx thoughts#IM SORRY I SWORE A BIT IN THIS POST I JUST IM ABSOLUTELY JUST. NOT OKAY AFTER THIS???#all screenshots from Beyblade X you can see this on YouTube with weekly releases or on Disney XD I think#ANYWAYS LIKE. I. I think I said all that needed to be said#oh but the first half of the ep there was a women that look like she could be related to Titus/King#so uh yeah that’s interesting#I do not trust Packun and if he tries anything I’m ready to throw hands but the happy looking guy looks not suspicious#hopefully he doesn’t have a crappy attitude I have all eyes on this team rn#BUT YEAH SIGRID APPEARANCE IS she is so scary sometimes from our baby bird’s POV#but overall she’s just overly blunt and not too bad#the fact she said she’s not passing any message on from Jaxon to Chrome because he won’t listen 😭#I CANT GET OVER THESE THREE PANELS#CHROME PLEASE PULL IT TOGETHER JAXON’S NOT COMING BACK#YOU KNEW FROM THE START PROBABLY HE DOES SPONTANEOUS DECISIONS LIKE THIS#speaking of spontaneous decisions Jaxon said he did leave suddenly and Sigrid wasn’t mad or surprised#HOW CAN SHE FIGURE OUT JAXON AND ACCEPT HIS DECISIONS MORE QUICKLY THAN CHROME#to know that I need to know why Chrome’s so attached and obsessed with Jaxon#THIS CANNOT JUST BE OVER BEYBLADES MY MAN HAS TO HAVE AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION OR SOMETHING#he literally landed an xtreme finish on his own copy’s bey#also this episode had me thinking of the skill gap between Pendragon and Persona#wait that’s so cool both teams names start with a P#is that intentional idk BUT ANYWAYS APART FROM JAXON this episode put into perspective how scarily strong Sigrid is and#further emphasis on Chrome’s strength#I’m not loving this PLEASE I HAD TO PAUSE THE EPISODE SO MANY TIMES DURING ROBIN’S BATFLE#anyways I was glad to see Chrome but like#man Chrome you have issues someone needs to give him a therapy appointment#this whole episode just left me distraught I ranted so much more in the post and the tags#now I wanna go sleep and hope that maybe I can cook something with this new info while I dream#I actually do have multiple fic ideas in my notes and some of them are written but eh they’re not good
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me when all my selfships are very popularly shipped with other characters (I hate canon sharing)

#this is mostly about a certain YELLOW BOT. however its true for all my f/os and i kind of hate it#i feel like crawling into a corner every time i open anybodys tag cause its all CANON SHIP STUFF.#and obv you can ship whatever u wanna. but my god does it make me feel like getting rubbed the wrong way with sandpaper#i just want to see my guy please ffs stop shoving this other guy in the picture with him i hate it here#ik i literally reblogged a post about this this morning but i am not having a good time rn#like y'all I literally cannot even follow jonns tag bc the ship stuff is so fucking bad in there#i cant look at it anymore#and i am REALLY struggling w blitzys tag. i want to see him so bad and im just getting beat to death#sorry chat im miserable and havent had anyone to yap at all day im going insane im afraid#proship selfship#proselfship#ratkingrambles#and like most of my guys im fine. like i ship vox and al hardcore. i love remy and rogue. meg and doom are cute.#like yk i generally am fine but holy fuck its like my two ACTUAL HUSBANDS exist just to be shipped with other characters ??????????#the only two i actively hate sharing and every post about them is ship stuff pls i cant do this anymore#okay im done i just needed to bitch for a minute#i may be pro fiction but my god am i gonna start biting people for these ships anyway back the fuck UP
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wouaghgh <- so full of love and happiness but nowhere to put it
#camera talks#i love my boyfriend so much <3333#they should come back here like now :((#they're so cute and amazing and i want to be curled up with him rn#evil and cruel world making it so that i cannot </333#sighh <- but full of love and big smile and heart hands <333#this (vcs) is the highlight of my day almost all of the time and im soooo glad to be here with him <3#moo tag
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i despise those who say taco is an abuser and then don't listen to those who try to say their point of view
"im not reading that" go fuck yourself then.
(this is about a certain microphone fan that i will not name but if you know, you know)
(and NOT targeted at any of my moots i will love and cherish you till the end of my days istg)
Fronting: Lollipop ~ She/He | Julius [He/They/Mew]
(lolli is the one who's typing she's uh filled with hatred and anger)
#vent#raichu's clicks ✨#raichu's lovelies 💌#ii#iii#taco#taco ii#literally what an asshole sometimes tacomic haters are literally dumb as fuck#when talking abt tacomic it all comes back to taco#and somehow mic's arc or personality was ruined because she could apologize#and of course you have to whine and cry abt how “omggg im literally grieving rn mic shouldn't forgive her abuser wahh wahh”#literally fuck you#taco is not an abuser you just can't see a mentally ill character unless they come to life and sock you in the face#brian did not say that for “fan service” you dumb dumb#he said that because tacomicers were raving and shit after truth or flare#if he really did fanservice shit he'd say payjay was canon#are you literally dumb#just because you dislike a character doesn't mean the writers of the show are scheming against you when something good happens to said-#character.#you are literally just petty and pathetic and sad#taco isn't an evil could-do-no-good villan#she is an interesting and nuanced character that you cannot seem to comprehend or understand#shakes you by the shoulders#if you read all the tags thx because i fr fr needed to get that off my chest ffs#i won't say the personout right because i don't want them crying to their friends say im plotting their demise or something#but you probably already know if you've ever taken a glimpse at tacomic discourse#jesus chriist. i want to punch a wall#anyway bye#growls + grunts 💥
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hey @ tnt sports commentators - can we maybe not call riders "liabilities"? like... what the fuck, dude?
#i already had a weird soft spot for deniz oncu but this has heightened my love for him#its like when they called david almansa pathetic for crying after not making it into the top 14 in practice one time#i immediately latched onto david almansa and he's actually my moto3 fave now#(le0pard liked one of my comments on tiktok teehee)#but seriously these guys piss me off!#they just make comments that are So Not Necessary!#dgmw i understand that people aren't without bias but the way they seem uncaring about slandering any non-brit is disgusting#like.. i like jake dixon for jake/filip reasons and so he's exempt#but when it comes to moto3 i actually cannot STAND to hear them constantly go on and on about eddie & scott#dgmw im sure the two lads are talented but FUCK ME all they come back around to discussing is eddie o'shea & scott ogden!#like HELLO!? they aren't that impressive rn! shut up!#whenever eddie crashes it's always a really intense “oh no” that falls from their mouths#when someone else crashes its “oh they crashed.. not good”#like EH#idk why my tags have turned into me venting about the tnt sports commentators but they have so#if youve read this far i love u <3#motogp#moto2#moto3#tnt sports
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Martha Jones - Jesus Christ parallels (never thought i'd write a sentence like this)
there's the other one who has sent me
For I did not speak on my own, but the Father who sent me commanded me to say all that I have spoken. I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say. (John 12:49-50)
Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life. (John 5:24)
I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me. (John 5:30b)
I have much to say in judgment of you. But he who sent me is trustworthy, and what I have heard from him I tell the world. They did not understand that he was telling them about his Father. So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him. (John 8:26-29)
[...] for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me. (John 8:42b)
etc., and so on...
#all i could think of was that one poll - who suffered more?#and i'm not the biggest fan of seeing martha as some sort of messiah#i'm just kinda good at making references to bible during conversations as one may refer to songs. poems. other books or films#simm!master rewatch#and i guess they wanted to show us how alien to us are time lords; how powerful; (above?)#and the doctor's god-like descend powered by humanity?#he could kill. he could devastate. he could turn back time.#and he's chosen to forgive#weeell i guess both ten and martha are written as a saviour/messiah here#ok i should shut up#(but don't we sometimes need to project our culture and/or religion into a different form?)#(don't we long for some mighty being out there?)#(ok. i shut up.)#(and even you can perceive doctor as some sort of god (sometimes) he's not a good one)#(he's cruel and selfish and rude - and yes; trying the best he could to be good)#(but it's not he's basic attribute)#(i'm really shut rn)#martha jones#save my girl#the doctor#tenth doctor#doctor who#dw#the sound of drums#the last of the time lords#the girl who walked the earth#(why are there only 5 posts in this tag?)#for a mentally unstable asshole#it crashed multiple times#and now it tells me i cannot upload gif?
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Me @ a piece of media: Yay, something new I can latch onto! It stimulates the brain juices just right! This is my newest special interest!
Me when it ends: who am i. what is existence. empty. cry. yes cry. give me back my safety.
#yes i could finally finish bg3#and now im sad#halsin and i seemed so monogamous in the end :(#but at least i got a good ending for everyone#i think#i want to go back to idk where#somewhere where it's not over#😭 guess what ill do? play it again. so many times. maybe ill write some crossover fanfiction bc halsin and regal NEED to meet#and i need to be in between them 😏#im writing all this while the credits are rolling#please i cannot go back to reality nooooo#bg3#autism#do i tag other media that gave me the same feelings? eh people post worse in fandom tags#good omens#tales of symphonia#i want to tag community believe it or not but how do you tag a show called community?!#hannibal#uh martel there must be more#idk im in my feels rn cant think
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I need to think out loud - feel free to ignore
#I really want to quit the event for trans day of visibility#I just don't see what I can give to the conversation#and I haven't for a while now#there is already a person that does all the posters#when I did the budget it was all wrong#half the ideas I've come up with has been having big holes#and honestly I don't think that comfortable in the group#I feel like I am back at school or university being put in a group for a project that I cannot pull out of because it will affect my grade#or the rest of the group's performance#but there's no grades#there is a performance of sort being the event#and that could still be great#but I don't feel like I have the spoons or the experience for this#I am just smiling (barely) and nodding along#yet a part of me are also scared of dropping out now#there is not a lot of time left#and so it wouldn't be fair on the other people to ditch this last minute#but would it be more fair to let me just tag along not doing anything of value?#and I should probably decide soon since we are getting closer#it is this big dark cloud over my thought rn#I am trying to concentrate on my drawing challenge yet I don't have any joy in it#because all my thoughts go to this event#I don't know what to do#I really don't want to do this#but I did say yes#and I hate tapping out and be seen as untrustworthy as well#micahs thoughts
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Why did my cooking dream get hijacked by my brain making a William Afton oc and au what was that about.
#luly talks#my dreams#I'll peace like i can recollect it was weird#bc it literally was ME BUYING GROCERIES W MY DAD but then the line between when we ended and Michael and William started blurred#i remember the grocery store very well also bc it was very similar to the one i go always to but smaller and more sepia#it was dark for a grocery store like it was just letting sunlight in#pears were half off like some black friday offer so all the products were suuuper cheap#i saw one bottle of milky pear juice for like 1k. and the same w these 4 stacks of frozen waffles who were like 1070.#or this bottle of pear pancake mixture that had 2 or 4 lts#it was kind of when i went away that thr lines started blurring so let me tell you what i remember about this Afton:#he didnt seem. murderous. he was grocery shopping w his kid for fuck's sake 😭 i think he was even sitting somewhere while i ran back and#forth taken aback by these offers? like kinda dismissive at best#uh. Henry was brought up believe it or not. it was like... they broke up or something? like he was kinda upset about the mention but like#in a i dont want to explain why im not with him rn sort of way#very insecure he seemed. like he run into this woman who might've been someone but idk who was whom asked sbout henry and bro was SWEATING#you'd say dream william was a fucking loser he just got locked in thinking like what do i say and HOW do i say it#to make it sound casual but also not weird.#bc on top of all he also seemed to have some weird gender things going on bc he first instinct when trying to explain himself to the woman#(who i cannot stress enough was super friendly like a fucking neighbor or something just going hey hi! hows da family? ^_^)#was to refer to them both as girls as this jokey comradery Let's Ignore The Topic thing before going No That's Bad I Can't Say That#this whole internal monologue in my dream happened in a sort of comic panel thing btw where shit went from these warm browns and greens and#shit from the grocery store to jarring black and whites and reds as William tried to have a straight thought#looks wise unfortunately not a lot going on.though considering this was literally my dream getting turned over can we say my Afton is argie#something something my turn stealing from them etc etc or whatever#uh. brown hair. but not too dark. it was greying and that was making it lighter. also very angular face as you'd expect#high cheekbones pretty eyebrows no facial hair. hair was a bit longuish tho? like a messy ear length maybe?#he had a button up w buttons lose bc it's so hot and humid rn also sunglasses which i know 100% was influenced bc the last design i rbed#a little.before napping#also he had age makes too though his age was most visible in his scrawny long exposed neck#me/mike change was minimal bc we're both pale and brunette hit tag limit so hope y'all like my brain's oc i guess 😭
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hi. just came to say i’m alive and well (mostly) if anyone cares. i simply broke down due to emotional stress so i had to delete the app and cut it all out. idk how long it will take, but i’ll be back and catch up on blogs/tags/messages by then! hope you’re doing great, i’m sending you all my love and a special shoutout to @itsniceto, @mycastlescrumblingdown, @jdschecter, @intomymelancholia and @mayangelsleadyouin for being such a ray of sunshine. miss you and love you all soooo so much 💜
#part of not coming back rn is taylor tbh. in case you missed it i kinda distanced myself from the fandom although obviously#her music will always be a big part of my life. but it’s so tiring trying to separate the artist when shit keeps coming out#& yes i’ve listened to sntv but all i’ll say there is that now it’s oficially top last lmao esp after what she did to my fave tracks#like wth happened to btr and this album production. but again i have no intention of talking shit nor i care enough at this point#i’m also on the verge of a break up and my brother’s health is getting worse so. i really cannot deal with any criticism rn#at least i knew long before i couldn’t afford to go to a show. anyways enough talking to myself ! these are the news ig#also thanks to everyone who keeps tagging me on their edits. i appreciate it sm and i will reblog them when i’m back!! promise#see you around and please. remember to take a deep breath and drink water and put yourselves above anything else <3#pt
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Does anyone have any experience getting CRT televisions repaired? Like, how easy or hard it might be to find someone willing to do it & how expensive it might be?
#i have an irreplaceably wonderful crt and it worked abt a year ago but it’s been in storage & got a bit dusty inside and out#and it won’t turn on anymore now. like if I try to power it on the red indicator flashes on for a moment but fades & nothing else happens#and it is such a cool tv. nice screen quality despite the fact I found it on the side of the road + it has an inbuilt dvd player#and it also has all the buttons required to operate it built in so no remote required#and it has AV connections so I used to be able to play my gamecube and n64 on it which was incredible#i can’t replace it bc I cannot find any record of this model of tv anywhere yet. like no manuals no pictures nothing#I’ve found an arcade repair blog that briefly shows 1 pic of a tv that looks the same but they don’t mention any details about it at all#I’m in bed rn so can’t check but I believe the model number on the back said ‘TI49ID’ and the brand is Tevion#but I looked it up and there were no relevant results⛷#i didn’t mean to put that emoji of the skiing person on the last tag btw I’m just having microsleeps rn and my finger dropped onto it#going sleepy now
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