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iconic-ponytail · 4 years ago

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there's always money in the banana stand

riverdale promptathon week 3: yellow + business

Even as the sun sets, even as the breeze blows, the hell furnace of July in Riverdale burns on. It’s triply as sweltering inside the tiny booth running three freezers, offloading heat to sustain the frozen merchandise inside. “How can it be so hot in there when we are supposed to be selling frozen bananas?” JB complains, at least twice a week.

She’s twelve. Complaint is her new first language. She complains about being left in Riverdale while Gladys went back to Toledo. She complains about living in a trailer park that usually does not have warm water. She complains about their father being imprisoned for covering up a gruesome murder. But most of all, she complains about working in the banana stand.

Child labor laws aside, Jughead can’t blame her for that one. He hates the damn banana stand, but it’s their best shot.

Gladys’ monthly check covers rent and utilities for the trailer. Everything else is on him, now. The idiot eighteen year old who decided to petition the court to be his sister’s legal guardian. Well, and his idiot mom who signed off on it. So he needs money, and the Jones family has never been particularly flush with cash, just trampled over by FP’s failed “business opportunities.”

Enter: the banana stand.

It’s not the fastest revenue stream, Jughead finds. But it’s got potential.

Initially, Dilton doesn’t let him sell during the Twilight Drive-In’s concession stand hours. Before or after the movie, sure, but no overlap. “I’m not worried about competition, Jones. It’s just too humiliating for me to watch you sweat through that horrible yellow polo you call ‘branding.’”

But when customers asked him more than twice a night when the banana stand would be open, Dilton caved.

It’s not like being open during the screening hours is a whole lot more preferable. He only just transferred from Southside to Riverdale High last spring; now he’s the rising senior who hands out phallic symbols from inside a giant phallic symbol. Not exactly a boon to his popularity.

Still, recently the money is enough to pay the internet bill and keep JB fed for dinner when she can’t go to the summer breakfast and lunch program at the local park district. It’s still not enough for him to eat particularly well, and the smell of hot dogs and slurp of his classmates’ slushies makes the heat feel like a minor inconvenience.

He eyes the tip jar, willing himself to wait on rampaging the concession stand until the beginning of the film roar dies down. It’s a double feature tonight, which means maybe he can score enough cash to cover those damn college application fees his counselor will start hounding him about week one of school.

Then he sees her—Betty Cooper. She’s laughing, watching Archie Andrews try to catch popcorn in his mouth, tossed by his paramour, Veronica Lodge. She pauses to sip from her slushie straw, her lips—which he’s watched argue against homophobic and racist comments in their advanced lit class, or pressed to the cheek of her other best friend, Kevin Keller. Which he’s imagined, doing slightly less savory things, though the mere thought of said imagining has his heart pounding wildly.

(Jughead’s been eating way too many fucking bananas. Someone needs to check his potassium levels.)

His absolutely pathetic gaze, once available three times a day in their shared classes where Jughead has still not managed to exert any confidence whatsoever regarding speech, eye contact, or general acknowledgement of Betty Cooper’s existence other than whatever drooling may or may not be happening, all of which he finds he has no control over… is all interrupted by the absolute polar opposite of Betty Cooper. Hiram Lodge zooms up to the banana stand on his segway, angling to a stop just before taking out the stand’s foundation.

“Still getting a hang of that, Mayor Lodge?”

Hiram grimaces. “Just checking that you’ve renewed your business permit, Jones.”

They do this once a week. It’s still the same permit.

“You know,” Hiram starts as Jughead rustles for the paperwork to make him go the fuck away, “I could find you an arrangement with a better banana supplier. For a discount. If you’re interested.”

Jughead rolls his eyes. “I’m not interested in your GMO, black market bananas, Hiram.”

Hiram gives him a pointed look. Jughead rolls his eyes even harder. “Mayor Lodge.” He proffers the papers, Hiram waves them away. “I’ll take one chocolate peanut butter dip. With peanuts.”

Jughead kisses his teeth. “That will be $3.50.”

Hiram’s whole face goes serpentine. “Not between business partners, Jones. Put it on my tab.”

Jughead grits his teeth, handing the finished banana so aggressively he hopes that the chocolate splatters and stains Hiram’s $500 tie. It is only slightly worth it to watch Hiram struggle with navigating the segway one-handed, frozen banana in the other.

He muffles a chuckle before realizing he’s used the dead end of the chopped peanut topping, and exits the stand to update the order board hanging on the outside. It’s mostly an excuse to feel a ten degree drop in temperature, a sweet relief he might be able to extend by grabbing a hot dog before the intermission rush.

He’s crossing off peanuts from the topping list and spinning around when he hears a shriek and a sudden, cold slosh across his chest. The yellow polo drips with artificial blue slushie, but Jughead swallows his fucking hell when he sees that the shriek, gaping stare of horror, and stumble in question all belong to his very own blonde kryptonite.

“Oh my god. Oh my GOD, jesus, shit, I’m so sorry!”

Jughead is frozen while Betty grabs about half his napkin dispenser and starts pawing at his shirt in a vain attempt to right the giant sticky blue mess all over his chest.

Finally, Jughead swallows the golf ball in his throat and chokes out. “Honestly, it’s fine. That stand is a sauna. I needed that.”

Betty stops, both her blotting and her stream of apologizing (which includes a fair bit of cursing, and he is a little revolted with himself by how much this turns him on).

“It’s going to get very sticky, soon. Maybe I should buy a bottle of cold water?”

Jughead can’t help himself. “Oh, impromptu yellow t-shirt contest?”

Betty grins.

I did that.

“Do you have any employees who could bring you another shirt?”

Jughead shakes his head. “Just my sister. She’s playing video games at home. There’s no earthly way she’ll bring me a spare.”

Betty cocks her head. “I had a feeling you were more than the silent back row kind of guy.”

The fact that Betty Cooper has, at any point, considered what kind of guy he is triggers full-on nervous blathering. “I’m usually very tired at school. I have this little sister—but I’m kind of um, her guardian. So I’m doing this stupid banana stand thing because it’s like one of the three assets to our entire family name I guess? Anyway, it’s hard to engage with Haggly’s basic discussion questions at eight in the morning when you spent the whole night dreaming about wholesale banana margins.”

He’s essentially vomiting words, but Betty is still smiling.

“Anyway, I should crawl back into my fruit-shaped purgatory and let you go back to your friends.”

She’s biting her lip, hedging. “Honestly, they’re probably using the alone time to make out in the car, and I’d rather let them get all their sexual tension out so that I don’t have to feel it radiating off of them for the whole second half of the double feature.”

Jughead laughs and tamps down the impulse to offer her a frozen banana, because he cannot possibly say something like that without making it sound sexual.

“What are frozen banana profit margins like, anyway?” Betty asks, either genuinely interested or legitimately flirting with him. Jughead finds both potentials baffling.

Jughead hesitates, then ducks inside the stand, pulling out his spiral bound notebook. “I’m still kind of figuring it out. All my records are in here.”

Betty sidles up to the stand, taking up the whole window. They’re both leaning over the scribbled line items on college ruled paper; he can smell her shampoo. She takes the notebook, scanning thoroughly.

“Do you have a pencil?”

He hands her one and observes her going to work, writing out some algebraic formula and calculating quickly in her head. There is a calculator within his reach, but he thinks handing it to her might come off as an insult. (Jughead wouldn’t know; he assumes Betty is in an advanced math class. Jughead is not.)

After a few minutes of watching her devoted focus, thinking about her hands touching his pencil, thinking about her hands wrapped around his hand, or his—

“I don’t know how to tell this to you, Jug.”

The shortening of his name stops his heart for a jolt, and his response is embarrassingly delayed. “What is it?”

Betty winces but smiles through it, a combination she’s surely learned to use when delivering bad news. It’s well earned, it really does soften the blow.

��There’s no money in the banana stand. At least, not with these margins.”

Jughead finds himself less than devastated by this news, mostly because it makes a hell of a lot of sense. The messenger doesn’t hurt, either.

“But,” she interrupts. “I don’t know if you’ve nailed down your course load for senior year. But I’m taking AP Econ? This could be, um, a good project. Like, if you want to take the class. Or even if you don’t. Not that you’re like a project or… whatever. I’m just saying we could figure it out. Make lemonade out of… bananas.”

Betty Cooper is extremely cute when she stammers.

Jughead doesn’t know what to do, so he gives her an easy out. “I can’t like, hire you, if that wasn’t obvious by the whole… deficit spending or whatever the whole negative circled number at the bottom of the page really means.”

She flushes. “No, that would be highway robbery. I just thought there might be an… opportunity. For um, us. I mean, for you and I. I mean—” she clears her throat, as if it’s closing up. “An academic opportunity. Or, in your case, professional. Well, a betterment of your livelihood. Okay, um, shit, just… I should go!”

She turns away, her face the deepest scarlet he’s ever seen.

“Betty, wait.”

She pivots back, eyes down at the ground.

“How about I buy you a new slushie and you come back into the booth. Tell me everything I’m doing wrong for the rest of the night.”

Betty looks up, biting the corner of her smile. “Sounds like a deal.”

They shake on it.

#this is unhinged but i had to ok #I HAD TO #riverdalepromptathon #riverdale fanfiction #bughead fanfiction #riverdalepromptathonweek3

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johnstibal · 4 years ago

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Career advice for law students wanting to practice in international law

Hello,

I was recently asked by a law student for some career advice on how to get a job internationally, and particularly how they could get engaged in international (public and private) legal work.

While my legal background stems largely from doing multinational corporate work, particularly in the IT sector, here are my basic ideas outlining a few generic things to think about in terms of your career planning and some key approaches to pursuing these types of careers.

My background. For the past several years, I have worked primarily in London, and secondarily in Paris, for a very large telecommunications company. I was originally working for another one of this companies' affiliates in USA, and this enabled me to move internally to another one of their companies in the UK. Making this move internally within a large company allowed me to move abroad far easier, especially in terms of sorting out work visas and professional qualifications, etc.

Three Career Principles to Never Forget. In terms of general career advice, there are three principles which you must keep in mind to work in international law related field. While I recognize the risk of sharing a 'firm grasp of the obvious' (and I can almost hear some cringing already) most law students do not receive this message framed in this sort of a utilitarian light. So, here it goes:

The sole purpose of your first legal job is to enable you to get a better second legal job.

It is all about Brand. Your CV / Resume is a personal marketing tool. It is your personal ‘brand’. The choice of your first job should strongly take into account the value which the ‘brand’ of your new employer will add to your CV, and your future ambitions. This lasts for decades.

You cannot save the world if you cannot pay the bills. Public international law has some of the most interesting legal work around. Unfortunately, or fortunately, it also has a tendency to attract incredibly brilliant people who will work for a minimum salary. If you are independently wealthy, then great, no problem. If you have large education debts, please do not neglect the fact this will undoubtedly impact your choice of jobs in the short term, even if not necessarily in the longer term.

Your first Legal job. Getting your first Legal job is always a nerve wracking experience at best, and especially if you want to take a track other than going directly into a large law firm. Unfortunately, nearly all major law schools are set up to build a funnel for large firms. For your interests, even if you do not wish to 'end up' in a law firm or major global corporation, it usually makes considerable sense for you to go out to find the best ‘brand’ firm which you can, either in the US, UK or elsewhere. You will be able to extract the majority of the benefits during this time by working at a firm for exactly two years (or three years, if in New York City) doing whatever type of legal work - - of course, its even better if your firm or company has a public international law practice, but this is not required. By the end of this time, you will have ‘checked the box’ on your CV, and you can happily move on to what you really want to do. This is by far is the safest option for most, and also incidentally, completes one of the requirements enabling you to be admitted to practice in other common law countries (e.g. the UK). I’m not certain whether this is as helpful in other civil law countries, but I suspect it would be.

There is no question that working at a law firm, and potentially billing in ‘6 minute’ increments gets very tiring. Reviewing e.g. commercial leases is even less fun than watching paint dry. But this said, you will probably be practicing law for a very long time off and on anyway. Having a good initial first employer on your CV, who has ‘trained’ you is always a good investment for your CV even if not necessarily beneficial to you over the long term.

As a lawyer who has graduated from a US law school, you are able to come to Europe with a well respected professional background (speaking generally). In terms of global perceptions, US lawyers are highly respected, maybe in a similar form of the admiration to being world-class in other professions e.g. French engineers, British accountants, or Indian mathematicians - - not to foster bad stereotypes… But, needless to say, the USA legal professional qualification travels well around the world, particularly among global employers.

This being said, there is a particular area of confusion when you first come out of law school. Legal training is not the same around the world, meaning in France, a jurist has may have only attended the equivalent of undergrad and not graduate school (in terms of USA style nomenclature, depending on their qualifications). In the UK, while there are some permutations, most young associates at large law firms will attend around a year and a half or so of graduate school, followed by two years of a training contract to learn how to practice law. In Germany, many associates hold an LLM, or a PHD, at minimum, staying in school much longer. While you probably can research the differences in the number of years of schooling better than me, you should be particularly aware of this issue when you turn up to speak with a new potential employer in Europe. There is a risk of being perceived as wanting to find only a training contract, which is not needed as a USA law school graduate. After your first job, the timing issue goes away as you accumulate more PQE (Post Qualification Experience). The same is true in France, as I understand it.

An alternative path in human rights / non-profit sector for law students. This is an area where my knowledge is limited. But, if I wanted to pursue a career in this field, I would adopt some of the following key approaches.

First, figure out who are the heavyweights thought leaders in your particular field of interest, either individuals or organizations - - and, do your best to somehow associate yourself with their organization or sphere of colleagues. You want to try to figure out who these organizations interact with, and by extension, which of these organizations might hire you. Linkedin is an extraordinarily powerful resource for this research. To test your hypotheses, try calling up or meeting up with the General Counsel of any public interest foundation (if not possible to meet in person, then email / Skype also works but is far less effective than in person). Introduce yourself, and ask him or her for some general advice, in particular what ‘outside counsel’ their foundation typically uses - - make clear that you admire the work of their foundation, and look to gain relevant experience by doing similar work in the future. Ask about their Legal department organizational structure (General Counsels - GCs) love talking about this stuff), and what skills they look for over the long term, but even if not necessarily immediately. If it goes well, you might get some really good information, and maybe even a referral to a firm or sister organization. Senior Executives are very used to people asking them for jobs on a daily basis. But, they get asked for their advice far less often. Use this to your advantage... but do not be a pest.

As an example coming from NGOs, from time to time, I have occasionally dealt with some of the affiliates of the United Nations as a supplier. There are probably 20 of these, e.g. World Bank, IMF, UNHCR, IATA, WIPO, Red Cross, Red Crescent, and Red Crystal. Some of these organizations you are probably more familiar to you than others. There are two consistent traits that I see when dealing with their personnel. First, many of the staff are about to retire, and second, their staff have all consistently bounced around the world working in many different UN affiliates and national governments doing all sort of different roles, both legal and non-legal. The first of these is a well known problem for the UN and its agencies, at least, at a macro level, which might be helpfully to you. While I’m not certain what formal hiring programs may exist in these orgs, you should check with them around world, and particularly in Geneva, Switzerland and New York. Also, in terms of firms which advise this types of groups, you should also talk with McKinsey & Company. They do some very impressive pro bono work consulting for non-profits, and like to hire people with diverse backgrounds often having law degrees.

To get the attention of any large organization, and not just the UN agencies, you will always want to first find a way to get through the door, even if you need to do the unsexy type of legal work. Once you are inside, it is usually far easier to move internally. For example, if you work for a big organization like the UN, they have a vast array of legal needs, ranging from the basic to the exotic. It is undoubtedly the case that a large portion of the UN’s legal budget goes to HR and Procurement legal advice (e.g. doing commercial leases, procuring pencils and IT projects) (whether done in-house or by external firms.) When a UN agency needs to lease a building in sub-Saharan Africa, some lawyer somewhere in the world needs to review and advise on the tender process (often in combination with other local lawyers). Therefore, this is an opportunity to target. Yes, this is not sexy work, but it gets you a pass into the ‘club’ to work on other more interesting projects in the future.

As a final thought. Having outlined all of above, if you truly want to work in the non-profit / human rights space, it might be the case that being a ‘junior file clerk’ for Google.org or the Gates Foundation is equally beneficial (from a brand perspective to get your next job) as being a senior associate at Skadden Arps.

On the one hand, being at a big firm allows you to potentially develop a deep legal specialty, which might be later retooled for a good purpose. For example, undoubtedly, at some point, a brilliant lawyer in some large law firm will figure out how to package up millions of ‘microfinance’ loans using mezzanine financing techniques (i.e. allowing Wall Street money to start funding billions of very small loans around the world) - - in so doing, they could indirectly create prosperity in Africa for a life time.

At the same time, NGOs have a potential to do great things too. These are the people who are likely to generate the next generation of new legal concepts / quasi-regulatory regimes. For example, a newer area which I am following lately relates to 'conservation services' and 'natural capital' (see Conservation International) (www.conservation.org). These structures are, essentially, quasi-voluntary regulatory schemes to allow companies to share and manage ecological externalities (see Jennifer Morris's speech at Stanford). For me, CI's approach is just a start of a major trend in this area: soon there will be ISO certificate schemes covering externality pricing, as well as voluntary business case weighting methodologies which hopefully over time will become a standard approach in global commercial activity - - yet, this said, few individuals in the world understand how these types of governance tools work in practice. It simply cross too many intellectual domains, which so far has stymied adoption on a global level. 'Deep Greens' are not well suited to create these types of applied 'corporate' innovations around externalities, but maybe you are the one given your legal background.

Highly innovative organizations, such as the Gates Foundation, look great to onlookers because, in large part, by comparison, the other large global NGOs have tired ‘business’ models. Often major NGOs have been doing the same exact thing for decades. For me, I could see this as creating an opportunity. It might be great fun to join one of these NGOs for the express purpose to reshape it, remake it, and help them to reinvent their bag of tricks as an NGO. As a lawyer, you can have this level of influence within these types of organizations - - but, remember, always ask for forgiveness, never for permission when trying to affect major change within large organizations.

Keep in touch. If you like this or have other items to add, please drop me a note. I always enjoy hearing from people and what they think. These are changing times!

Best of luck,

John

#UN affiliates #career advice #career planning #change management #emory school of law #gates foundation #international law #law school #law student #non-profit #open precedents #public law #skadden arps #united nations #conservation services

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snusbandxknifewife · 5 years ago

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Sticky ficky 7!

Have some Oak angst, some Vivi angst, and some Cardan angst feat. Bomb help! I actually made myself sad with this one so I hope y’all enjoy it!

~~~~~~~

Dear High King Uncle Cardan Sir,

It is with a heavy heart that I write to inform you I can no longer engage in correspondence with you, nor can I continue to be your sticky hand supplier. While my alliances were with you throughout this long and trying war, I cannot side with you anymore, given the recent turn of events.

I don’t know what happened with Jude, or why she’s staying in our guest room, but I do know that she suffers. When she saw my green sticky hand in the living room her first night here, she broke down sobbing.

Uncle Cardan, I confess I have never seen my sister cry.

So I send this letter to inform you that I have washed my hands of The Great Sticky Hand War, as I now wash my hands of you. I wanted to be friends, but I must stand by my sister now, as I know she would stand by me.

Why did you have to hurt her?

With disdain,

Oak

Little Oak closed his thesaurus and put down his mechanical pencil, handing the letter to Vivi to proofread. Vivienne Duarte, for her part, had no idea why Oak had decided to stake his honor upon something as trivial as a sticky hand, but she dutifully read over his letter, correcting any spelling mistakes before sealing it in an envelope and promising to send it to Faerie.

If Oak was to become High King one day, he would need to learn diplomacy, this was as good a place as any to start.

So Vivi watched with raised brows as Oak gathered up all his sticky hand memorabilia, his collection and the propaganda posters he’d made for the war, and threw it in the trash without a second glance. His bottom lip wavered and tears seemed ready to spill from his eyes.

Vivi took him out for pizza that night, leaving Jude alone in her room, crying like usual.

~~~~~~

Two weeks had passed since the night Vivi took Oak for pizza, and while she had been confused then, she was now severely worried.

Jude Duarte was a shell of a person. She’d get up to go to the bathroom, but she had yet to take a shower or even brush her hair. She barely ate, and what she ate was anything but nutritious. She denied herself water to the point that her head pounded, and only then would she sneak into her sister’s supply of alcohol, leaving her to wake the next day with a headache already formed.

Vivi didn’t know what the hell to do. She couldn’t handled a normal breakup, one where her sister cried if a certain song came on or because her boyfriend had cheated on her. But how was she supposed to handle a newlywed, exiled from her home and throne? Especially when even the thought of a sticky hand or nerf gun sent her over the edge?

Honestly, Vivi didn’t know what kind of set up those two had had when Jude was still in Elfhame, and she didn’t ever intend to learn. The likelihood of some weird sex thing being involved was way too high for her to even consider asking, not when she already shuddered every time she passed a sticky hand in the toy aisle of the local Dollar Tree.

“Jude?” Vivi called out, knocking on the doorframe of her guest room and staring into the darkness, towards the pile of covers that shielded her sister from the rest of society. “I ordered Chinese food, it should be here in forty-five minutes. I made sure to get sweet and sour chicken, I know it’s your favorite!”

Her fake upbeat tone echoed back to her, but Jude refused to move. With a heavy sigh, Vivi walked forward and sat on the edge of her sister’s bed.

The girl looked like a ghost, her eyes staring blankly ahead and her cheeks stained with tears.

“Jude, honey, you know I love you,” she sighed, patting Jude’s hip. “But you smell like a dumpster. Please come shower in my bathroom.”

Jude, her mouth covered by her duvet, mumbled something Vivi couldn’t understand. Then, after prompting, she spoke again.

“Need help,” she whispered, the most pitiful noise Vivienne had ever heard in her—admittedly short—life. Jude Duarte, asking for help? Fuck.

She decided not to say anything, opting to just pull down the blankets and allow Jude to use her shoulders as support to sit up.

Jude’s time in the Undersea had been tough on her body, and her wallowing in the mortal world had worked overtime to rob her of whatever muscle and fat she had left. Starving oneself and laying in bed at all hours of the day was a terrible recovery strategy, but Vivienne couldn’t really bring herself to berate her sister.

Jude leaned heavily against her sister’s side and together they stumbled through the hall and into Vivi’s bathroom.

Vivi turned on the water, ready to leave to give Jude some privacy, and stopped when she saw the way her sister’s fingers shook. She knew then and there that Jude wouldn’t be able to undress herself, so she did it for her.

Just like when they were children, after Madoc had murdered their parents and spirited them away to Faerie, Vivienne Duarte helped her sister out of her clothes. When they were little, Vivi had been in charge of bathing the twins and helping with their hair. It’s been years since she’s had to do this, but she put Jude in the shower and washed her hair as the young woman sat, face first in the blasting water.

Vivi grit her teeth in anger as she took in the poking bones and concave stomach of her little sister, the girl who had always been full-figured and strong. Her body, her tenacity, her will to live, all taken from her so quickly. Jude Duarte looked broken as Vivi washed her hair, pulling fingers through tangles that had long formed into clumps the size of her palm.

Jude should’ve been safe, she should’ve been ruling in Elfhame, where food and wine abounded and excess was the name of the game. She shouldn’t be wasting away to nothing in a world she never claimed as her own. Cardan, who, by Vivi’s own observation, cared for Jude, should’ve known what banishment would do to her.

No matter what happened, no matter why she’d angered him, he should’ve never banished her. Not then, not so soon after she’d been tortured.

Vivi helped Jude out of the shower and helped her dress before steering her towards the living room, where Oak was waiting with the Chinese food, Teen Titans playing on the old tv.

Vivi took her food into her room and sat down with a pencil and paper.

Cardan Greenbriar, you worm-eaten husk of a man,

I don’t care who you are or what you are, I don’t care about curses or crowns or kingdoms or fate, I care about family. And, right now, mine is hurting. Fix things with my sister, or, so help me gods, you’ll be fucking mincemeat.

Sincerely,

Vivienne Duarte

The paper ripped in some places she was pushing so hard, but she figured that would help get the message across.

She sent it directly to the High King of Elfhame.

~~~~

The scent of smoke hung thick in the air of the unnaturally quiet room. The birds outside the open window knew to stay silent as the man on the floor threw a second crumpled up paper into the crackling fire.

The High King of Elfhame’s rooms were in shambles; furniture broken in rage, tapestries form down by hands with nails bitten down to the quick, books toppled from precarious places on overfilled shelves.

One man, the king himself, sat in the center of the carnage, his back pressed to the foot of his grand bed and his legs stretched out towards the fire roaring in the corner of his bedchamber.

His eyes were wide but unseeing, tears cutting ragged trails through the dirt smudged across his cheeks and his hands shaking in his lap. His tail, freed from his breeches, was the only part of him smart enough to try and hide from the flames. It stuck out behind him like a sore thumb, cowering under the bed in a way that he wished he was small enough to do.

What had he done to his Jude?

He’d thought for sure she would’ve put two and two together, would’ve figured out his riddle. She’d already announced herself to be the High Queen if Elfhame, all she had to do was say she pardoned herself!

He’d considered that maybe she had been to tired from her ordeal the day of her banishment to decode his words, but he was positive she would’ve been recovered enough to come back and claim her throne by now.

His Jude, his darling god, should’ve been by his side already.

When he’d received Oak’s letter a fortnight ago, his very heart, as scabrous and small as it may be, had felt like it was ripped from his chest. His nephew, his only family left—save his mother—so recently introduced and so quickly ripped away from him. He had to admit that one day Oak would make a fantastic diplomat, he was already capable of getting his point across with scathingly few words.

But when he’d gotten Vivienne’s letter, that’s when he began to realize he’d truly fucked up.

His head pounded and his stomach was in knots as he wondered what had happened to his wife in the past two weeks, what had warranted such strong words from his sister-in-law and former friend. Was Jude sick? Had she hurt herself? Was she refusing to eat?

Would she recover? He couldn’t even begin to picture a world where Jude didn’t recover, where she wasn’t fighting tooth and nail to better herself, where she wasn’t the powerhouse he always saw her as.

Deep down in his heart he knew that he’d done the one thing that all the torture in the Undersea wasn’t able to do: he’d broken his wife’s spirit.

He’d never forgive himself.

“Your Majesty!”

Cardan didn’t so much as blink as the Bomb screamed, entering the disaster of her king’s rooms and likely expecting to find his dead body on the floor.

When she saw the fire, she gasped in horror and grabbed Cardan by the shoulders, throwing him as far away from the fire as she was capable of.

The fire had reached halfway up the wall and was dangerously close to engulfing the bookshelf closest to the window. Anyone with a brain knew that, if she left to get buckets of water, the whole room would be up in flames by the time she returned. So, she made the executive decision to sacrifice his duvet—the duvet that he’d pulled up over his sleeping wife only two weeks and a day prior.

She threw the duvet over the fire and began to stomp on it, her thick rubber-soled boots making a hollow THUNK every time she brought her foot down.

When the fire finally stopped trying to fight back and the room was full of cloying black smoke, she pulled the remains of the duvet up.

And it stuck to the floor.

The Bomb furrowed her brow in confusion and pulled harder, bracing her feet against the stone floor and yanking with all her might until the duvet finally gave up and she went flying backwards, landing harshly on her butt with the ruined duvet in her hands.

The underside of the duvet was covered in black scorch marks and some strange, multicolored substance that she can’t quite place.

But Cardan knows what it is, and he reached for the duvet; his fingers running through the molten hot rubbery liquid, tears springing to his eyes once more.

“Your Majesty?” Bomb’s voice was quiet, confused as she watched the boy king spread boiling hot goop between his nimble fingers.

“I couldn’t look at them anymore,” he whispered back and Bomb put two and two together.

He’d started the fire to melt all his sticky hands. The gifts from his nephew, the game he’d played for weeks with Jude. All up in flames in the blink of an eye.

“Why hasn’t she come back?”

Bomb winced, reaching to try and pull his hand back. She could see boils starting to form on his fingers and she knew that if she didn’t get the melted sticky hand off him soon, his skin would burn so badly that it fell off.

“If you were her, would you?” Bomb asked, succeeding in grabbing his hand and worrying at her bottom lip as she saw the blood red burn marks on his hand.

He ripped his hand back from her, forcing her to look him in the eye, to see the wild devotion in his face and the desperation dripping from each tear.

“I’d always come back for Jude. Do you understand that?” He sounded ragged, broken and robbed of comfort. “Always. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of going after her, Liliver. Please, you must know that. You have to know that.”

The Bomb had never seen anything like this, not from Cardan, not from another faerie, not from anyone. This kind of pure, unrestrained pain reached out from every facet of the king’s being and grabbed her heart with a grip of cold iron, throttling her as she watched him suffer.

“Liliver I did it for her! Everything I did was for her, she has to know that. She can’t not know that!” He’d reached the point of sobbing, his burned hand hanging limply at his chest and starting to well blood from where the burns broke his skin.

“They would’ve killed her, Liliver, we both know it!” Cardan’s voice cracked and he folded over himself. “You saw what she looked like, she was wasting away! No mortal should ever be that thin, Liliver, certainly not Jude!”

“Your Majesty, please.” Bomb didn’t know what to do beyond grab his injured hand once more. She pulled him to his feet and hauled him over to the bathing chamber, but he stopped in the doorway. He refused to go in, refused to hard that brambles grew over the entrance and stopped the Bomb from trying again.

So she moved him to his desk and she sat him down. It took about a half an hour of work, but she was able to pull the ruined sticky hand mash off his hand, burned skin and blood falling away with every movement. The whole time he sobbed, he lamented, he worried. Cardan Greenbriar, High King of Elfhame, told her every word from the two letters he’d received because he’d memorized them both in his pain. He told her of his fears for his wife and he asked for her advice and she didn’t know what to tell him.

She didn’t know what she would’ve done if she’d been Jude and Van had been Cardan. She didn’t know how to come back from a betrayal like that.

“Write back,” she finally offered as she bound his hand. Around them ash was still falling and his room was still a disaster, but at least Cardan seemed to have recovered some of his composure; sewn together just like his ruined hand. “Write Jude, tell her what you meant. You can’t leave Faerie to go get her, not with Madoc on the prowl, but that doesn’t mean you can’t speak to her in your own way.”

He froze, his hand throbbing against the confines of his bandages as he looked at the Bomb. She was right. She was seldom wrong.

Liliver figured that she wouldn’t get his dismissal, not with the way his gaze had gone so distant so suddenly, so she excused herself. She arranged for the rest of the Court of Shadows to clean his rooms, ensuring that she was the one cleaning his bedchamber.

She watched as he wrote and wrote and wrote and she said nothing, not that he would’ve heard her anyway. He was way too far in his own head.

She found herself grabbing his jacket off the floor—no doubt thrown in a fit of anger earlier during the night—and she found herself walking towards his closet.

Cardan Greenbriar hadn’t gone into his closet since that night, his wedding night. Not since he’d been with his wife, his darling.

So it was Liliver who found the discarded blue sticky hand with the broken ring finger, the only sticky hand saved from the great sticky hand fire.

She didn’t even think as she grabbed it and hid it in her trouser pocket, slyfooting away and out into the hall. She didn’t think as she snuck into a back tunnel and worked her way up to the room that Jude had kept as Seneschal. She didn’t think as she opened Jude’s bedside drawer.

And when she was met with a pink glittery sticky hand, she smiled. When she set the blue hand next to the pink one, she thought that maybe, just maybe, these two would have a chance.

She hoped they’d have a chance.

~~~~~~~

Hope y’all don’t hate me yikes lol

Tag list: @cardan-greenbriar-tcp @hizqueen4life @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @thewickedkings @aelin-queen-of-terrasen @cheekycheekycheeks @queen-of-glass @b00kworm @doingmyrainbow @andromeddea @jurdanhell

#jurdan #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #tfota #tfota fic #sticky ficky #tyrannosaurus lex writes #the great sticky hand war #oak #vivi #vivienne duarte

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tindomielsilverthorn · 4 years ago

Text

Void Bolt Ch 9

I have let my writing get posted mainly on our website and have neglected you all! I am sorry! I will try to start catching everything up <3

Chapter 8

As always, these chapters include characters that belong to @devsash.

Niqi pulled out her runestone and set it on the table. Pulling a piece of parchment, she wrote out a few simple words. She folded it gently and brought it to her lips, giving it a soft kiss. She placed it on the stone with a sad smile.

My Dearest Anas and Mehe,

I cannot begin to thank you enough for all that you did for me.

Please let me know when I may send something to you.

I don’t wish to wake Anas.

All of my love,

Niqi

Anas blinked at the runestone as the parchment materialized on it. Picking it up, he unfurled it, his eyes skimming over the words. He pressed his thumb to the rune before saying, "Niqi? Are you there, little one?"

Surprised, Niqi picked up the stone and put her thumb in place. “Anas! You’re awake? Why aren’t you resting? You should be resting.” Her voice was tinged with concern.

He chuckled. "I am, little one, though I'm not tired enough to sleep right now."

She sighed a little, relieved. “Please promise me you aren’t doing too much. You do too much.”

"I'm not." He smiled. "Mehe wouldn't let me. He wants me to rest as well."

She turned the stone in her hands a few times, staring at the surface “All right. Where are you? Can I send some things to you?” Her voice came through clear, but its usual cheerful ring was missing entirely.

"I'm at home." He frowned. "What's wrong, little one?"

“I...no, it’s ok. You don’t need to worry right now.” She set the freshly washed clothes that Mehe had lent her onto the stone and watched as they disappeared.

"TelI me, little one," he said, picking the clothes up from the stone and setting them aside. "Did something happen?"

“I’m afraid to sleep, Anas,” she murmured. “I...I don’t want to...to see him again. And people keep asking what happened and...and,” she sobbed out. She bit down on it hard forcing herself to stop. Taking a few breaths, she whispered, “I just want to forget...” She picked up a small jar of tea leaves and set that on the stone.

"I'm sorry, Niqi. I wish I could give you a hug." Anas blinked at the jar. "Tea leaves?"

“It’s all right,” she replied. “Oh, yes. You remember that nice cool tea I sent you? I thought Mehe and Goldeneyes might like it while they are working outside. Though Goldeneyes might not touch it since it came from me.”

"He might prove hard to convince otherwise, little one." Anas sighed regretfully as he took the jar carefully. "Still, thank you."

“Well, maybe Mehe will like it at least. Just um..” she sniffled. “Steep it strong and then add cool water to it to taste.” She picked up another small jar and placed it on the runestone. Its contents shimmered with swirling light.

"What's that?" Anas peered at the jar as it materialized on the stone.

“A little bit from the moon well? I thought it might help you, I..I wasn’t sure how much is good.” She sighed softly.

He chuckled. "It doesn't really work that way, but thank you Niqi. I really appreciate it."

"Oh..." she replied. "How does it work then?" Her curiosity started getting the better of her. Her voice started to lift a little. “I thought maybe you could drink some of it.”

Anas blinked at the stone before pressing a hand to his mouth in an attempt to stifle his laughter. "Oh Mother Moon," he finally managed, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. "No, they're not for drinking, little one."

“Oh...so I guess that little bit doesn’t help much.” She smiled slightly at the shift in his voice. “I guess I cheered you up a little though.”

"You did." He smiled. "Thank you, Niqi."

“Good,” she sighed. “I...I want to try to practice with the shadow again. But it’s not a good idea by myself, is it?”

"Maybe get Tindo to help you with it?" he suggested gently.

“Maybe. She was doing something with the Void I think. Earlier today. I could barely see her through the shadows around her and she was muttering in Shath’yar about locating something.” Niqi shuddered. “Then she banished it all and started writing things down.”

Anas frowned. "That sounds odd. Is she okay?"

“I’m not sure. She seemed a little frantic, so I just told Forosuul and let him take care of it.”

"Right." Anas sighed. "I hope she's okay."

“Me too,” she agreed. “Is that normal? To delve into the Void to find things?” She pulled her legs up under her on the chair.

"Some people do it, but it can be unsafe." Anas carefully set the jar of water on the bedside table. "Mehe tried it as well to find out about his family."

Niqi gasped. “Is that why Gilræn called him ‘Umbric’s plaything’?” She clapped a hand over her mouth.

Anas nodded sadly. "Mehe really wants to find out about his family. Umbric promised that if Mehe assisted him willingly in his experiments, he would help Mehe obtain some information about them from the Void."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have repeated that though. It was not a nice way to put it." She winced. "I really am sorry for how he was treated."

"So am I." Anas sighed. "He doesn't like to talk about it."

"I know," she offered sadly.

He glanced out of the window, to where Mehe and Goldeneyes were working in the garden. "I hope I'll be able to get back to work soon."

Niqi squirmed a little. “I...um...” she sniffled. “I went back today.” Her voice was quiet and small. “I got a big order too. One of your court gowns.”

Anas blinked. "What? So soon? Are you sure you should be working, little one?"

She gently played with the runestone in front of her. “There was no choice, Anas. I had to. It’s been a week, and Wynne...it’s fine, really.”

"Wynne?" Anas's brow knitted. "What did she do? Did she threaten you?"

“It’s ok, Anas. Just get better, that’s what’s important.” She pulled a blanket around her shoulders.

"No, it's not okay," he growled. "You should be resting, Niqi."

“Please don’t be upset, Anas,” she pleaded. “She said one of us had to come back or we would both be fired. I couldn’t just let her do that to you.”

"She said what?!" Anas exclaimed, outraged. Mehe glanced at him through the window in concern.

Niqi shrank, her voice quivering. “Sh-she said we can’t both be out like this… so she… I,” trailing off, she took a deep breath. “I can do it, Anas. I just wanted to make sure she didn’t try to force you to come back yet.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "She can't do this to you. To either of us," he said in a more measured tone.

“I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I’m sorry. Please relax, brother. I didn’t mean to upset you,” concerned pain evident in her voice. “But I got another person who likes your designs, that’s good, right,” she asked, trying to change the subject.

"That's not the point, little one." Anas sighed. "Mother Moon. I'd hand in my resignation on the spot if we could get our shop up and running."

Niqi blinked at the stone. “We just need to choose a spot, Anas. The rest is just getting everything delivered.”

He nodded firmly. "I like the one facing Lion's Rest. We should take that and start setting up."

Niqi smiled. “That one was very nice. I’ll see to setting up the orders for things if I get a break tomorrow.” She took out a piece of paper and wrote out a list of items they needed. Setting it on the stone, she giggled. “I need help. I don’t know who the fabric suppliers are.”

"I've already met one in Boralus, though we'll have to see to the other suppliers." Anas smiled at the stone. "If it's all certain, you don't have to go in to work after that. I'd imagine we'll be quite busy getting everything in order and tracking down suppliers."

“Not we, Anas. You have to rest,” she chided.

"I think I've been resting long enough." Anas glanced at the blanket. "Any longer and I'll be bored stiff."

“Are you certain? I don’t want you to push too hard. I have to get that order done anyway. They wanted the gown in a week and a half.” She looked down at her hands, realizing how much they were going to hurt soon. “I spent all day tracing and cutting the pieces.”

Anas shook his head. "Give it back to Wynne. Let her figure it out. We need to see to our shop now."

Niqi laughed aloud. “Anas! She couldn’t make that gown if she had a year!” Pulling the blanket closer around her, she sat thoughtfully for a few minutes. “I wonder...I wonder if I could convince the client to let me finish it. Wynne has the money for the materials. So if I convinced him to demand them, and he brought them to us...”

"I'd rather let Wynne get through it on her own." Anas's face darkened. "Let her understand exactly what she was demanding that you do."

“All right, my brother. All right.” She leaned back against the wall. “I won’t suggest anything to the client. If he comes to us, it will be his choice.”

He nodded, picking up the paper on the stone. "I'll help you with this." He rose from the bed. Stepping towards the window, he waved Mehe inside as Goldeneyes watched curiously.

"Please don't do too much though?" She urged him gently.

"I will as much as I can, little one," he said.

"What would you like me to start with?" She took a new piece of paper and started a numbered list. Her pencil made a soft scratching noise as it moved over the parchment.

"We need to confirm with the landlord that we're taking that place." Anas nodded as Mehe entered the room. "Niqi and I are going to start our shop."

"About damn time." Mehe scowled. "Get out from under that bloody woman's thumb."

"I'll secure it and pay the first few months rent to ensure they don't try to give it to someone else," she jotted it down. "Hello, Mehe. How are you?"

Mehe dusted off his hands. "Doing fine. How are you, Niqi?"

She whispered, "Tired, but managing. I went back to work today."

"So soon?" Mehe threw Anas a concerned glance.

"Not anymore," the Kaldorei said firmly. "I won't let Wynne exploit us any longer."

"Wynne didn't give me a choice, Mehe. She said if I didn't show, she would fire both of us. I was trying to make sure Anas could rest," she offered through a tired yawn.

"Well, you won't have to worry about that anymore, little one." Anas glanced through her list. "We should get started on these in the meantime."

“After I secure the space, I will see if I can hire someone to move your work table,” she marked that down. “What else?”

A very soft knock could be heard. “Miss? Are you in here?” Niqi took a quick, sharp breath before letting it out.

Anas and Mehe glanced at the stone. "Who's that?" the Kaldorei asked.

Gerald inclined his head. “Names Gerald, Sir. Master Kalithil asked that I keep an eye on Miss Niquisse.”

“It’s all right, Anas,” she reassured. “I’m just a little jumpy when I’m alone.”

"Are you a friend of Kalithil's?" Mehe asked.

Gerald chuckled. “Don’t suppose he’s got many that call him friend, ‘cept maybe his wife, sir. I’m part of the guard here. I helped Miss Lilybeth when she had troubles. So he asked me to do the same for Miss Niquisse.”

"Did you need something, Gerald? I was just talking to my brother and Mehe," Niqi asked, not unkindly.

"Just wanted to see if you would be stayin' here tomorrow or going back to Stormwind again. Wasn't sure if I'd be needed." He smiled.

"Will he be coming along with you?" Anas asked curiously.

"I can if she needs me, sir. Master Ælithil took her to work yesterday. But he's got some training to do tomorrow." Gerald stated plainly.

“I...I won’t be at work, it would be a lot of errands, Gerald,” she apologized, sounding completely embarrassed.

Anas glanced at Mehe, who shrugged. "Having someone to help you with errands would be a good idea," he opined.

“You’re probably right...” she nodded.

Gerald bowed and moved for the door. “See you in the morning, Miss.”

“Thanks, Anas. I...feel like I...” she swallowed. “I shouldn’t be scared. But I am. It’s foolish.”

"It's not," Mehe said quietly. "You've been through a terrible ordeal. It's only natural."

“I’m afraid he’s going to find me again,” she whispered. “Æl says they’re gonna find him. But what if...if he...”

"He won't, little one," Anas said gently. "Ælithil would never let that happen on his watch."

She took a shuddering breath, nodding. “Thank you both. I..I’m trying not to let it...” she choked it back. Clearing her throat. “I’m sorry. We were,” she sniffled. “We were talking about the shop. I will umm, get your new work table moved and then what?”

"If you're not feeling up to it, we'll get it all sorted out," Anas offered, glancing at Mehe. The Ren'dorei nodded in agreement.

“I can do some. Please,” she pleaded. “You’re supposed to be resting.”

"Only if you want, Niqi," Mehe said. "Your brother and I don't want you to wear yourself out."

Niqi chuckled mirthlessly. “I need something to do if Æl will be training. But thank you, Mehe. You’re very kind.”

A soft humming from a male voice could be heard from outside the room. Mehe raised an eyebrow. "Is that your friend Gerald?"

“Yes,” she said, smiling slightly. “He’s always humming. Or singing.” She picked up a small purple flower on the table and set it on the stone. “Mehe? Do you know what this is? It’s pretty.”

Mehe lifted the newly materialized flower from the stone, examining it. "Looks like a Twilight Jasmine to me," he said. "Did you recently visit the Twilight Highlands?"

“No, Lilybeth has a garden here full of all sorts of flowers. She grinds them for pigments,” she explained. “Is that where it normally grows? I was thinking, maybe for my wedding?”

"Yeah, they're from that area." He set the flower back onto the stone. "A garden, you say? What other flowers does she grow there?”

"Yes, Niqi. They look perfect for your wedding," Anas said, grinning.

“All kinds of things. There’s something that looks like an orchid, there’s some roses, a few varieties of lilies, ummm...” she stopped suddenly. “I don’t know what the others are.”

"I'd love to see that," Mehe said thoughtfully.

"I will ask if you can visit sometime," she offered.

"That would be nice. Thank you.”

Anas smiled at his mate, placing an arm around the other man's shoulders. "Are you planning on having just those jasmines at your wedding?" he asked, returning his attention to the stone.

“I don’t know. I wanted a couple of things, for variety, but...” she sighed. “I don’t know what would look nice and also smell nice together. The jasmine is pretty with the orchids but the smell together was terrible!” Niqi yawned wide, and shook her head. “Excuse me. I’m sorry,” she whispered.

"You should rest, little one," Anas said, his voice concerned.

“I’m ok...” she murmured, setting her head down on the table in front of her with a soft thud. “I...I don’t want to...” she started to softly snore. The humming from the other room stopped and soft footfalls could be heard approaching.

Mehe's ears twitched. "Is that you, Gerald?"

"Yes'sir. It looks like Miss Niqi fell asleep on the table here," he clicked his tongue. "Hmmm," he shuffled about the room and found the blanket that had fallen from her shoulders. "I'll cover her up and see what the Master thinks I should do. Not sure if I should touch her or not, what with what happened."

"Perhaps that's a good idea," Anas said thoughtfully. "Thank you for looking after my sister, friend."

"Don't mind at all, Sir. She's a sweet soul. Not right someone should hurt her." He picked up the stone. "How do I turn this thing off? So she can rest, I mean."

"Press her thumb against the rune," Mehe instructed.

"Please see that she rests," Anas added.

"I'll try, Sir. 'Cept she's trying not to. You got ideas on how to convince her, I'm all ears." The man sighed. “She just keeps goin’ till she nods off. Then she apologizes for fallin’ asleep.”

"She's afraid to sleep," Mehe murmured. "It was like that when she was here too."

“Hmmm, all right. I’ll see what can be done,” he turned the stone over. “Good night, Sirs.”

"Goodnight," Anas said before severing the connection. Gerald held the stone against Niqi’s thumb and went to find Kalithil.

#World of Warcraft #wra #wraroleplay #Wyrmrest Accord #wyrmrest rp #void elf #ren’dorei #night elf #kaldorei #Niquisse Greythorn #reianas starmane #tailors #Void Bolt Storyline #Meheaaris

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bittysvalentines · 6 years ago

Text

from @parrishsrubberplant to @rhysiana Happy belated Valentine's Day!

The man’s plain white t-shirt does wonderful things for his chest. And arms. And abs.

“Wow,” Brittany whispers to Jen.

Brittany says ‘wow’ about a customer eleven times a day. Jen is a good friend who looks every time.

“Wow,” Jen dutifully agrees. She can’t argue with Brittany about men. She’s a lesbian so Brittany automatically disregards her opinion. But her vision is fine, and this dude is jacked. He’s at least six feet tall, with a swoop of perfectly styled brown hair and sky-blue eyes.

She expects him to walk on by, to menswear or shoes or whatever. Then Jen will listen to twenty minutes of Brittany sighing over him.

Instead, Tall and Handsome stops. He hesitates and then heads over to the makeup counter.

Brittany blushes under her makeup and shoots Jen a look that is equal parts panic and glee. Jen rolls her eyes.

“Hi,” Jen says. “Can we help you?”

“Uh, yeah,” he says. “I’m looking for eyeliner?”

He doesn’t look like the type of guy who would wear guyliner. Eyeliner, Jen corrects herself. If he wanted guyliner, he would have asked for guyliner. Don’t make assumptions about people.

“Any particular brand?” Jen can hear Brittany having a heart attack behind her.

“Um.” He reaches into the back pocket of his tight jeans, and hands her a tube. “Something like this?”

The black tube has worn silver lettering. Jen turns the tube in her hands, looking at the faded hieroglyphs that might have once been a ‘W’ and an ‘S’.

“It’s discontinued,” he says. “I was hoping you might have some left.”

Brittany finally recovers. “Um, that’s the WorldStar Mega Vanta, right?” She doesn’t wait for an answer. She’s never wrong about brands. It’s like her secret super power.

“I can check in the back, but I don’t think we have any.” Brittany looks at Jen. “Or, Jen can.” She smiles at him.

Tall and Handsome tips his head down, and angles his chin, his blue eyes disappointed. He angles his body towards her, cutting Brittany out of the conversation. If she were straight, she’d swoon.

“Do you know of anything like it?” He says.

Brittany folds her arms and leaves to check the back, her shoulders held in a stiff line.

Jen frowns. “I really don’t. That was the brand that was like, a liquid marker but it applied like a pencil, right? It sucks they stopped making it.”

He nods. “I’ve got one more tube left. I’m hoping maybe I can try some stuff and find something like it.”

“Excuse me?”

Jen freezes. Goth Girl steps out from behind Tall and Handsome.

Where is Brittany when Jen needs her?

Goth Girl is adorable, and she comes to the makeup counter every week. Jen’s tiny gay heart cannot handle the glory that is Goth Girl. She’s short, with curly black hair and perfect makeup. The wings of her eyeliner end in points sharp enough to stab. Today, she’s wearing a lacy black shirt and combat boots. Jen cannot.

Tall and Handsome--Jen almost thinks she recognizes him--shifts to include Goth Girl in their conversation.

“You were talking about WorldStar Mega, right?” she asks.

“Yeah,” he says.

“I have a friend who makes stuff,” Goth Girl says. “They have an Etsy store. If you wanted, I could give you their store name. It isn’t a perfect match, but their black eyeliner is a lot like the Vanta if you just make a thick enough line.”

He already has his phone out. “Could you? That would be amazing.”

Goth Girl tells him the name, and Jen writes it down for herself on the back of a discarded receipt. She likes the WorldStar eyeliners too. Tall and Handsome has good taste.

“Thank you,” he says, and holds his hand out to Goth Girl. “I’m Gabriel.”

Goth Girl takes his hand. “Julissa.”

She looks like she has a firm handshake.

He turns, smiling, to Jen. “Gabriel.”

She gestures to her nametag and waves awkwardly. “I’m Jen.” Lovesick Jen, trying desperately not to stare at Julissa.

Julissa walks away to look at the display of lotions on sale.

Gabriel smiles at Jen. He’s missing a front tooth. “Do you work on commision?” he says. “I’d feel bad if I don’t at least buy something from you.”

“That’s...really sweet of you,” Jen says. She’s never had a customer ask that before. “We don’t.”

“Well, you’ve been really nice and helpful,” he says. “I should buy something.”

“Well, do you have a girlfriend?” Jen asks. She thinks of Brittany, who hasn’t come back yet. She may have just decided to take her break early. Or she’s still dying of embarrassment. Jen knows Goth Girl’s name now; she can do Brittany a solid.

He shakes his head. “My tea--my friends’ partners are really into these travel eyeshadow pallets?”

She takes him to a display of dull gold-colored eyeshadow cases. “These?”

He checks the name. “Yeah.” He peers at the descriptions. “Martine has...light brown skin, so this one would probably look best with her. And Yudita is very pale, so I think this one, and…”

He picks out eye shadow for at least six different women. Jen tries not to let her eyes bug out. This brand of eyeshadow is not cheap. She carries the pile to the register.

“Your buddies aren’t going to care that you bought their partners stuff?”

He shakes his head. “Not really. And--hey, I just thought of this. Can you ring them up separate? That way I can include the receipts so they can return them if they want to.”

What, Jen thinks. I’ve fallen through a portal to another dimension and not realized it. Or another planet. Who is this man?

She rings him up six times. Tall and Handsome smiles one last time at her and leaves. Jen wishes she did work on commission. She would have just made a killing.

And now Julissa is standing at the register.

“Hey,” Jen says. Her voice creaks.

Julissa smiles. She looks down at the counter, then back up at Jen. She looks shy. Her eyes dart to the back door where Brittany disappeared, over to a display of lip glosses, and back to Jen.

“Just this,” Julissa says. It’s a tube of berry purple lipstick, made by one of the brands that lasts forever and stays on through any kind of mischief.

After Julissa signs her receipt she hesitates. “Can I give you my number?”

Jen goes red. “Yeah.”

The corner of Julissa’s mouth curls up in a wicked grin. She pushes the receipt back towards Jen. Below her signature is ten digits. Jen catches herself smiling back.

* * *

Ari does not understand.

They fell asleep yesterday after spending hours packing orders, receipts, business cards, and sparkly star stickers into envelopes. They were really looking forward to taking day off. Maybe going for a walk in the park, feeling the sunlight on their skin. Something like that.

Instead, their inbox appears to have exploded.

They stare at the computer screen in disbelief. They have forty-five new orders.

“I need coffee,” Ari tells their cat. Marmot blinks slowly. Ari blinks slowly back.

They fill the electric kettle, spoon coffee grounds into the French press, and stare blankly at their phone. They have a lot of text messages.

Ari sends a quick text to Julissa. I think I might not be able to meet up today. Sorry. They pour the hot water into the French press and set the timer for three minutes. Then they turn to their messages.

They open the thread from Julissa and scroll back. I’m so sorry, Julissa wrote. I think this is my fault. I told someone about your eyeliner and… There’s a link to an instagram page. Ari opens the link.

It’s the Insta of someone named Gabriel “Snowy” Snöröken, who is dark-haired and Nordic and beautiful--and an NHL goalie for the Providence Falconers.

Okay, Ari thinks, but what does this have to do with me?

Ari finds the answer as he scrolls through ‘Snowy’s’ posts. One post is a selfie. Snowy focuses on the upper part of his face, head tipped forward. His eyes appear closed. He sports thick lines of black eyeliner.

Goalie superstitions! The caption reads. I freaked out when WorldStar stopped making Mega Vanta. But I think I found something better. Shutout last night. Thanks, @AriSparkles!

He includes a link to Ari’s Etsy store.

Oh.

Ari barely hears the timer going off. They pour coffee, add creamer, take sip. It’s just on the right side of too bitter. Marmot brushes against their ankles, making them jump. Ari bends down and scratches Marmot behind the ear. The cat purrs.

“What am I going to do?” Ari asks Marmot. They don’t expect the cat to answer.

What Ari wants to do is yell at Snowy to take the post down. Ari does not need this stress in their life. Not when they’re navigating suppliers, making sure all the ingredients are certified cruelty-free, and packaging and mailing everything themselves.

Marmot is absolutely wonderful, the best cat in the word, but Marmot doesn’t have opposable thumbs.

Ari drinks more coffee and checks their inbox again. They’ve gotten three more orders.

Without thinking much about it, they post a quick update on Insta. Thanks ‘Snowy’ for the shout-out! Glad you like our eyeliner. Friends, it’s just me here and with the recent spate of orders things may be a little slower than normal. Thanks for your patience and your business!

Ari’s hands are shaking as they put down the phone. They text Julissa: Help.

Even with Julissa pinch-hitting, it takes Ari almost all day to make it through the recent orders. And that’s just printing labels, sorting products, and counting out the sparkly stickers.

“Hey,” Julissa says.

It takes Ari too long to look up.

“Yeah?”

“Have you thought of just asking Snowy to take down the link?”

Ari grabs Marmot and pulls the cat onto their lap. “No.”

“Why not?” Julissa grabs the two empty mugs and heads for the kitchen. She comes back with a mug full of cold water for Ari.

“I couldn’t,” Ari says. “He’d think I’m an ungrateful brat.”

“Well, then,” Julissa says, and pulls out her phone.

“What are you doing--no, don’t!” Ari lunges. Julissa leans back, pulling the phone out of their reach. “C’mon, Juli, please--” Ari gets their hands on Julissa’s phone and pulls it away from her.

Ari looks at the phone and laughs. “Oooh, Mall Girl. You’ve been texting Mall Girl?”

Julissa hits them. “Why are you like this?”

“You love me,” Ari says. “But seriously, Mall Girl? If you have her number, don’t you know her name?”

“Jen,” Julissa mutters. Ari’s distracted by laughing again, and Julissa takes advantage of their distraction to pull the phone out of their hands. “I’m doing it,” she says.

“No,” Ari whines.

“Bro,” Julissa says. “ It has been one day. You are super stressed, and you are only going to get more stressed, and then the semester is going to start. I would rather you feel temporarily embarrassed than be in trouble a month out.”

Ari covers their face with their hands.

“I’ll send it from my Insta,” Julissa says. “Since I actually met him.”

Ari groans incoherently.

“Done,” Julissa says a minute later.

“It went through?”

“No, it sent as a request.”

“Bro,” Ari groans. “He probably gets like, hundreds of requests a day. I have looked at his Insta. He’s a professional athlete with the body of a god.”

“So we’ll make scrambled eggs, and watch terrible TV, and wait,” Julissa says.

“And you’ll tell me what’s going on with Jen,” Ari says. “I mean, Mall Girl.”

Julissa smacks them.

* * *

Julissa left an hour ago. Ari checks their phone one last time before bed.

They have a DM from Snowy. Hello! Julissa says I stressed you out. Sorry!

Ari resists the urge to roll over and scream into their cat. No worries, Ari writes back. No worries, ha, Ari is literally full of worries.

Can I make it up to you? Are you a hockey fan?

Ari looks around for Marmot. The cat perches on the arm of the sofa, front paws tucked under her. “What do you think?” Ari asks their cat. Marmot blinks.

Yes, Ari writes back.

I really like your store, Snowy says. How did you start doing that?

It’s kind of a long story. Ari thinks about suggesting it’s a story better told in person, but they aren’t a puck bunny.

Ari puts the phone down and scritches the top of Marmot’s head. When they pick the phone back up there’s one more message: I’d love to hear it, if you’re free some time.

#omgcp #bv2019 #bittysvalentines #fanfic #snowy #ocs

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photowalklist · 5 years ago

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What are the mobile accessories list 2020 for phones

What are the mobile accessories list 2020 for phones?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6ihPwzw_3o What are the mobile accessories list 2020 for phones? These are really small items that do certain things on your phone. And although a lot of people have grown accustomed to some of the phones, accessories for phones really come in handy for certain reasons. Accessories for phones can be used as a spare battery, a toolbox, a dust cover, a charm, a pendant, a watch, and so on. But what's the most important thing about the accessories for phones? You see, accessories for phones are really good for keeping your phone clean. Not everyone is familiar with how to keep their phones clean. So the nice thing about accessories for phones is that you won't have to worry about washing your phone. But aside from this, there are many accessories for phones that are made specifically for different phones. This means that if you have a Galaxy S2 phone, you can get a Galaxy S2 USB charger or Galaxy S2 clutch. There are other accessories for phones too that come in other colors than black. All in all, accessories for phones are really handy. They can come in handy any time of the day for those times when you just need to access the phone and know what it is doing. Also, accessories for phones are really useful. If you don't know what they are, you can get them online from stores that sell mobile phone accessories.

How can I sell my phone accessories?

As you know, there are many different ways to sell a cell phone accessory, whether it's from an online auction or simply by placing an ad in the classifieds. The key is in knowing how to find the highest quality items for the lowest price possible. The first question to ask yourself when thinking about how can I sell my phone accessories? Your first step should be to research the best wholesale suppliers of the items you're looking to sell. Find out what they charge, and then see if they're able to match that price. One way to do this is by joining one of the online forums for that type of item. You'll be able to find out what wholesale suppliers have the best deals, and will be able to ask them directly with questions about pricing. Usually, you'll have more luck finding the products you want in the right quantities than you would search through the listings in an online auction. This is because you won't have a large selection to choose from, and the auctions usually don't have a lot of competition. Another option for how can I sell my phone accessories? Look into price comparison sites such as Ezillions.com. These sites are able to give you prices from all the leading wholesale suppliers and allow you to match them up side by side. If you want to find the best prices on high-quality items, it's important to always buy from a reputable supplier. This is because not only does a good source of goods get a better deal because they have to pay more for production costs, but also because they don't have to wait for orders before they have a chance to make their sales. In order to get the lowest prices possible, you need to take the time to do your research before making a purchase. Another question to ask yourself when thinking about how can I sell my phone accessories(mobile accessories list in 2020)? How can I sell my phone accessories from a supplier who has products that sell well in the online auctions? It can be difficult to find a good supplier with a lot of inventory, but if you spend some time searching you may be able to find one. This is because online auctions often get filled up quickly, so that means that suppliers can't afford to have products sitting around. Once you've found a wholesaler that sells phone accessories you'll need to look around at other places that sell them. Sometimes a supplier may give a larger discount to certain sites, such as eBay, or to certain colors or sizes. Be sure to compare prices and look at the stores themselves before deciding on which site to sell from. Some wholesale suppliers will offer discounts to stores that have a good reputation for selling their products, or simply a reputation for selling well. These are just a few tips to help you answer the question of how can I sell my phone accessories? The bottom line is that it doesn't matter where you decide to sell, just as long as you have done your research and know what to look for in a good supplier.

What is the mobile case?

What is the mobile case? For those who haven't heard, it is a cell phone case that protects your phone from getting cracked. It also acts as a shield from any accidental bump, drop or blow. Aside from protection and safety, mobile cases are the best way to make you look stylish and smart. No matter what type of phone you own, having one with a case would really be better than no phone at all. But where do you get one? There are a lot of companies that offer this type of product so be careful when choosing the right one for you. Look for good deals, but don't forget to check how big the company is so you can get the best price possible. Take a look at the reviews for various online stores. Always buy a case that has the features you need for your phone. Find out the comfort level you have with the case you choose. Look for special discounts for buying a cell phone case online. Look for promotional offers such as free shipping. Look for the best in quality. Look for a manufacturer that will provide you with a warranty on their products. You don't want to waste money on something that won't last. Pick a phone case that has a screen protector attached to it. This will help prevent screen damage and scratches. You'll be pleased to find out that this will be cheaper than buying them separately. Remember to look for reviews and other information about a product before purchasing it, including the availability of specials and deals. The best way to find out the truth is by talking to a real person who has purchased the product before and will tell you everything you need to know.

How big is the cell phone accessory market?

The answer to this question is surprisingly hard to say. It all depends on who you are asking. There are many smaller manufacturers who are relatively new to the market and have a very small amount of sales. In addition, the growth of the accessories for phones will not be reflected in their size because cell phones are becoming so much smaller with every year. However, it is possible that smaller manufacturers with limited resources could grow into the accessory market later on if they receive a steady stream of new products. The trend is toward getting more features rather than less. So the small cell phone accessory manufacturers are also growing in size. But what about the bigger players, the ones that I like to call the "Big Guys"? I think it would be foolish to claim that they don't count as one of the Big Guys. They are probably the largest manufacturers of cell phones and accessories in the world today. But they are still small compared to the large corporate brands. They still do not sell anywhere near the number of cell phones and accessories that all of the other major companies do. One of the reasons is the ever-growing popularity of the smaller models. That means they sell fewer units and, therefore, make less money. If they could sell as many accessories as the major players do, they could create a big profit margin. That would be great. However, they cannot because their inventory is too small. The problem with being a small company is that you are constantly trying to innovate. That's good because innovation is what keeps consumers coming back to your brand. You must constantly be looking for new things to sell, be innovative, and stay one step ahead of your competitors. A smart thing for the Big Guys to do is to take their leading brands and add all of the latest accessories that are in demand. Then they can sell more accessories and generate even more profit. A GPS Navigation system, wireless headphones, Bluetooth, HDTV, and even regular accessories like pen/pencil sharpeners can easily become a leading brand. As long as they focus on selling these products, and they keep improving them, they will continue to expand their reach and eventually go national. Of course, the smaller cell phone accessory manufacturers have to get with the national trend as well, especially if they want to remain competitive. But they may have to offer their own features. The obvious is that they must continue to keep the smaller models on the market, but they must also continue to innovate. Whether or not this will make them any money is up for debate, but it is worth paying attention to because it might just change the size of the cell phone accessory market. And that would mean an even larger profit margin for all of the manufacturers. It will also mean that smaller companies are not at a disadvantage when it comes to making money in the cell phone accessory market. So pay attention.

What are the phone holder things called?

Sometimes when people need to carry around a phone in their pocket for whatever reason, they wonder what are the phone holder things called. There are lots of different ones that you can choose from. They come in different sizes, colors and designs and even styles and designs. For those of you who have more than one phone, there are some phone holder things called that will fit both. The thing is, most people don't think about the fact that they can hold multiple phones in one place. You can also find some that can be used by people with a single phone. But regardless of which type of holders you may want to use, there are lots of features that you can have. There are even some that come with a microphone that you can plugin so that you can talk to people using the phone. It has never been easier to communicate through a phone, but it will be a lot more fun if you can do it on a cool phone holder thing called. For those of you who like to keep things organized, this may be the best accessory you can have. There are holders that come with shelves or compartments for all of your gadgets and other storage space so that you can organize everything and use it later. You may have a lot of different gadgets, so having them all in one place can be nice. When you get what are the phone holder things called, it will have a holder that has something hanging off of it. You don't even have to worry about how to hang them up because it comes with brackets to do that for you. This is just one of the things that can make the organizer system really work. Other things that you can find are holders that come with things that can use with you and for you. For example, you can find things like pens and flash drives that can fit into the holder. For the people who want to know what are the phone holder things called, there are a lot of different options out there. If you want to know what are the phone holder things called, the very first thing you should think about is what accessories you want to put in your holder. It doesn't matter if you want a lot of holders or just one or two, but make sure that you consider your needs before you start looking for the right accessories. Not all of them will be compatible with one another, so you will have to think about the right size for your phone holder. Once you start looking for the great phone holder that you want, just remember to take your time and be prepared to be a little patient as you browse through the websites. You will find that there are a lot of options out there that you may not have known about.

How do I start my phone accessories?

"How do I start my phone accessories collection?" is the question on the minds of many collectors. There's a market for all kinds of collectibles. From the latest smartphone models to the older cell phones that you might have lost long ago, there are lots of different products out there. If you're looking to begin your collection then it's important to realize what the items you are collecting are worth. Before you start looking for how to start your phone accessories, you need to understand what types of accessories are out there. These can be anything from accessories for your digital camera to accessories for your MP3 player. Everything can be something that you want to start your collection with. As stated before, there are lots of different types of collectibles. Depending on what type of accessory you're looking for, there are going to be a variety of different types of collectibles out there. If you're interested in electronics, there are going to be some collectibles for your PC or tablet and some of the most collectible mobile phone accessories out there. How do I start my phone accessories collection? It's important to first look at the types of things that you may be interested in. Are you looking for an item to cover up a broken screen, or an accessory to help you navigate your way through a crowded store? It's important to think about how do I start my phone accessories when you are just starting out. If you have a basic knowledge of electronics, you can purchase things like hardwired or flashlight lamps and accessories for them as well. If you know very little about electronics or something else, it's always best to contact the store you are interested in and see if they can recommend an item to you or provide you with a short description of their selection. If you are more interested in the classic collection of collectibles then you may be looking for unique items. Items such as the best blue tooth phones or the best Nokia phones will definitely have a lot of different items that are in demand. So while you're making your selection, it's important to consider how many items are in demand so you can keep your collection steady. It's important to remember that all collectibles tend to sell at high prices. Even though you can buy individual items for cheap, there are still going to be a few items that are going to sell at extremely high prices. The key is to be able to find something that is worth the price that you are paying. This will give you a good chance to find the item that you are interested in. When you are trying to find how do I start my phone accessories collection, it's important to first look at what types of collectible you are interested in. While there are plenty of different items out there, you'll have to take your time to find something that you are interested in and then begin looking for where you can buy it. What is really important is finding how do I start my phone accessories. This can be a great way to begin your collection and it can make the experience fun. Once you find the item that you're interested in, then all you have to do is begin looking for where you can buy the item. You can find items at a number of different stores. After you've narrowed down your options, then you can get in touch with a company that sells collectibles or contact an individual who collects collectibles. You can find how do I start my phone accessories at eBay, Amazon, and other retailers. A great place to start your search is via a search engine and then type in something like "phone accessories". After you've finished your search, the item you are interested in, it's important to decide whether you're going to collect the item or to resell it.

Do phone cases actually work?

Is there a way to tell whether a cell phone case will hold up? Does a wireless carrier like Verizon allow you to order an inexpensive cell phone cover to see if it works or not? In this article, I'll share with you the surprising answer. Contrary to what most people believe, cell phone cases don't really hold up well. Although many carriers can sell cases that protect your phone they are very cheaply made and don't provide much protection. If you're really looking for a mobile phone case then I suggest that you hold off on the purchase until the summer. The winter is when cell phone carriers really start selling their cases at a discount. The prices are low because there's no incentive for them to sell as many cases in the wintertime. Many people buy an outer shell for their phones. This shell does a pretty good job of protecting the phone. But it's not going to be much help if you're going to be dropping your phone all over the place. So the outer shell doesn't provide any real protection. For example, the best mobile phone cover is called Wolverine. The reason Wolverine is my favorite is that it's made out of soft fleece. The Wolverine is very soft and will not rip or tear while you're using it. It's also very lightweight. It is made by a very reputable company that is dedicated to providing its customers with superior products. With all the research I've done, I've found out that cell phone cases are just a waste of money. The phone stays protected. The only thing it protects from is sweat and bacteria. Although I have some cell phone cases, I am just too lazy to use them. I try to protect my phone in whatever way I can. I just don't feel like putting on another layer of plastic every time I take my phone out.

Is a wallet phone case a good idea?

The answer to that question is an emphatic yes. A wallet phone case is a smart investment because it provides the utmost protection for your cell phone, but in addition to protecting it, you will also get to show off your fashion sense. It's like owning two pieces of fashionable jewelry, each with its own unique style and its own advantages. Here are just a few of the reasons why you should invest in a cell phone case. They are also the key reasons why your wallet phone case should be used for fashion purposes only and not for "just to look good" reasons. The first and most obvious benefit of wearing cell phone cases is protection. As a rule, the phone protection on these cases is high-grade, using materials such as stretch-woven polyester and polyurethane. This is not a cheap material, but it's the type of material that's capable of withstanding any sort of impact, so it can help protect your phone from the accident. Also, many of the cases available for use with your cell phone will have locking systems, and therefore, adding this to your wallet phone case will give you greater protection. Whether you're a person who feels safe carrying around their cell phone while crossing an airport checkpoint, or whether you're one who takes your phone everywhere you go, protecting it from dust and dirt is a good thing. Also, if you're a person who travels with your wallet, then adding a wallet-phone case to the mix will make all the difference in the world. For example, if you are traveling, you'll want to have a wallet phone case that won't fall apart after a long trip, and that will be tough enough to keep your phone safe from any sort of damage. Not to mention, if you want to carry both your wallet and your phone while you travel, the wallet phone case will help you store both of them, which may be something that you may need to do while you're on the road. Secondly, style. The reason that cell phone cases are designed this way is to make the phone fit snugly inside. But while this looks good on people, it also protects the phone. If you are planning on using your wallet phone case for fashion purposes, remember that you do not want your phone from falling out and being lost, because it will ruin the look of your clothes. So, with this in mind, use your wallet phone case, but do not wear it without a briefcase to protect your phone, and consider investing in one that has an organizer pocket so that you can carry your phone in there without it falling out. Thirdly, keeping your wallet phone case dry. Keeping it dry is one of the key ways to ensure that your phone is protected, but keeping it dry can help protect it as well. Remember that you don't want to spend a lot of money on a cell phone case only to end up ruining it because it rains a lot, you have to learn how to be more careful about how you protect your phone. Yes, you want to be fashionable, but remember that protecting your phone is a very important part of keeping it safe and sound. It's also not worth the risk of having a ruined phone because you put it in a case with little or no protection, and you had to wait for the rain to stop before you got it out. Or worse, when you do get it out of the case, you may find that your phone won't work after the rain has stopped because it was wet. Finally, you don't want to make the mistake of trying to be trendy or fashion-conscious with your wallet phone case by wearing the wrong style for the situation. Yes, you might want to wear a trendy, feminine type to go to the gym or a nightclub, but you don't want to wear a designer, expensive-looking suit in the rain. Of course, you might have heard the advice that you shouldn't do anything that is going to break the bank in order to look good, but when it comes to protecting your cell phone, you don't want to spend more money on protecting it than you have to. because you may end up ruining it. Read the full article

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sweetlifetownsville · 6 years ago

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The Massive Difference Between 'Buy Local' And 'Local Buy' ... How Mayor Mullet Has Played The Townsville Business Community For Mugs.

Jenny Hill has traded on a trick of language to fool Townsville into thinking she is a champion for local workers and business, when the exact opposite is the case. It all revolves around the Local Government Association of Queenslands business arm called Local Buy and it is a deliberate play on words to line the coffers of the LGAQ. As The Pie reports, this one looks murky indeed. Also, the Townsville Bulletin goes beyond beyond parody, with one of their biggest side-splitting bungles yet and overall, it was a week you couldnt make up unless of course, youre the Bulletin. And is rebel councillor Paul The Angry Ant Jacob shaping up to take on The Mullet well, he may well have delusions of popularity and adequacy for a tilt in 2020 but there will be one powerful group that will try to block him. Also, the funniest comment on a news story this week comes from the most unlikely place and by popular demand, our regular pictorial gallery from Trumpistan. But first The shared thought-fart of the week belongs to One Notions P Hanson and the Katteronics R Katter. No sooner had Hanson quavered tremulously over the radio that people on the dole should be put to work catching cane toads at ten cents a pop, than Katter jumped on this creaky bandwagon and and upped the ante.

Bob Katter (right). Columnist James Jeffrey once wrote the Bob uses words like a cliff in Norway uses lemmings, and during the week, the member for Kennedy obliged with proof when he gurgled, giggled, sneered and croaked out his proposal that kids should catch the toads for 40 cents a time and be armed with air rifles to get the job done. It all makes one think that both Hanson and Katter are still smarting from their latest rejection letters from The Mensa Society, but the ever-practical Bentley thinks no matter how the creatures are caught, there might be a bit of a flaw in the idea.

Gosh, kids could be recruited under the banner of The Toady Army oh, hang on, maybe not, Townsville City councillors might sue for copyright. Is The LGAQs Nice Little Earner LOCAL BUY Costing Townsville A Motza? Some well credentialed business folks around town at increasingly frustrated with the little-understood Queensland Local Government Associations business arm Buy Local. And on the face of what two well-placed identities have told The Pie, the whole set-up looks ripe for rorts of all sorts, even progressing to very serious corruption unless proper transparency is in place. First this landed in the Nests inbox from a respected and successful Townsville businessman. Just wanted to highlighta program that shows that Mayor Mullet cannot only stuff Townsville as Mayor, she is also doing it as a Director of LGAQ against local businesses who payrent/rates and employ people.Townsville City Council is among those Queensland Local Councils using LGAQ Local Buy to avoid going to tender locally, allowing them toappoint out of town contractors with the LGAQ taking a cut (understood to be 10% of any contract, which of course is just added on to what the cost would otherwise be). Townsville businesses who were previously and successfully supplying services to Council have lost out under this scheme with many being forced to the business and had to put off staff. Any complaints about the dire situation made to Richard The Screaming Midget Beckett (no longer with the council met with threats that they would be locked out of any Council tenders in the future all under the culture from the Impailer and Mayor Mullet . To be an approved Local buy supplier you have to apply and I think pay an amount to be approved and there is a period of 5 years in which other similar other local businesses cant even apply. Momentum for change must be building as this excerpt from a letter from Local Government Minister Stirling Hinchcliffe indicates, after he received a petition complaining about the situation.

Also, has anyone questioned the $400k yearly service agreement between T.C.C . and the LGAQ and does the Mullet disclose her Directors fees from LGAQ ? As a LGAQ director, Jenny Hill, pops into her purse $31,000 p.a ta very muchly. Under the circumstances, that could be seen as blood money, since she must know the hardship this state-wide legalised rort is costing Townsvilles well-being. The Nest has received a number of complaints about Local Buy, but until this week, The Pie didnt have a coherent idea of what was happening so to get an independent assessment, The Magpie asked a business professional well versed in both business and LG matters to give this over-view. Given the current climate of spite and uncertainty, the person asked to remain anonymous. Local Buy is flawed in many aspects, even if one were to concede that its creation was well intentioned.Lets give them the benefit of the doubt to start with procurement can be complex and costly. Good procurement practice (eg. due diligence, evaluation requiring technical expertise etc) could be provided as a shared service, so that smaller organisations can in effect benefit from the capabilities of a larger organisation able to hire the appropriately skilled personnel. Theres also the prospect of negotiating better aggregate rates on the basis of aggregated volume. Thats the theory. The reality is that it is nowhere near this. Im not sure about the 5-year protection racket claim, but I do know that getting on the list involves not much more than paying some fees and ticking some boxes. This means a local council is more or less free to then pick and choose from the list, subject to the requirements of the LG Act. Magpie note: This means that the TCC can choose from a list based solely on price, which often means true locals cannot compete. This raises a moral question of whether it is more desirable to pay perhaps a bit more locally and materially contribute to a more vibrant local economy than to simply save some money because outside organisations that make no real contributions to our city. And it is this part of the system that is clearly open to corrupt influences. The Pie knows of none, but its an open invitation to it. Local Buy of course takes a Commission, from memory 10%, from registered suppliers when they win work, so in the end the potential benefits of savings arent materialised. Suppliers actually add the commission in. Theres also real doubt as to whether the Local Buy organisation actually has any real procurement capability. As a result, the tendency is for increasingly standardised or vanilla offerings, because thats the nature of generalised procedures run by people with limited specialisation and knowledge of local requirements or specialist areas eg, technology. Local Buy is a misnomer, of course. It neither compels nor guarantees procurement by a local authority from suppliers located within this authoritys area. Having said that, what goes to constituting local is never actually an easy question to answer, which makes a mockery of the entire buy local trope. One other thing on the Local Buy (and council procurement in general): theres a category called standing offer arrangement. This is basically a set of approved rates for services / products that a council can basically go back to time after time, without going out to tender. In theory, not a bad thing for pencils, paper clips and such like but as is always the case in procurement easily abused or at the very least, mis-used. The Magpie thanks the author for that succinct summary. It would certainly appear that we are being dudded one way or the other, but two things raise the Magpies curiosity: what do we get for our $400k annual contribution to the LGAQ? And noted in hindsight, just as this Local Buy system was being introduced, Mayor Mullet started dropping in the odd buy local slogan the timing appears to havde been there to fool people when they started hearing about local buy. Low level chicanery at its worst, spread about at the very time it now appears the council Jenny Hill heads was doing exactly the opposite. For Jenny Hill to trumpet the buy local cry is the height of hypocrisy, anyway. One of the very first acts she did when first elected mayor was to buy her new mayoral car (a top of the line Holden at around $70-$80,000) IN BRISBANE AND STIFFED THE RATEPAYERS TO HAVE IT SHIPPED HERE. And why was this? Because she had had a previous fight with Tony Ireland of TI Holden about repairs her previous vehicle, which she had mildly pranged into a gutter _ Ireland point blank refused her request to illegally mark it down as an accident insurance claim, which it clearly wasnt. Even although the Ireland company agreed to match the Brisbane price, Jenny Hill went ahead with the Brisbane deal anyway. Shes a sweet piece of work sometimes.

So if youre ever thinking if its true that local business people are fearful of spiteful retribution if they disagree with this civic leader, just keep that in mind. And Heres An Interesting Thought Wonder if Local Buy had anything to do with the controversial choice of pipe for the new Burdekin line, and did Local Buytb have anything to do with the pipeline jobs that went to Adelaide in stead of the promised boon to Townsville? Just askin. ya know. Yes The Astonisher Has Gone Beyond Parody The satirists lot is not a happy one lately. I mean, how do you make fun of something like the Bulletin that is so unintentionally crazy-funny to start with? Is this a secret plot to spike The Magpies guns? Last Tuesday, this appeared on page 16 as the editorial page of the Townsville Bulletin.

This is a stupendous blunder in a Townsville publication, that through their typical technical ineptness, the hard copy paper had published THE CAIRNS POST EDITORIAL PAGE the community voice (supposedly) of any newspaper. The editorial was of bugger all interest here, as well as being pretty stupid, anyway. It even had the Cairns deputy iditor signing it under the Townsville Bulletin masthead.

There was a time when this bit of prize fuckwittery wouldve caused an uproar, given the sensitive feelings between the two cities, but it appears weve been bludgeoned into not caring about the Bulletin anyway. Honestly, if it were not for the circle-jerk leadership of this city, the mayor and the head of Townsville Enterprise would be so incensed by this particular A community without a responsible newspaper is like a beautiful woman with only one eye (apologies to Brillat-Savarin). But still the harmless laughs kept coming. There was this story

which included this quote from one of the ladies of the night about southern blow-in blow-job competition on the streets: Theres false advertising, they send out a photo of a really hot looking chick and when they get there its some frumpy number. The girls have had a gutful of it This has been brewing for ages. Yknow, Thd Magpie thinks the lady might have a point. What sort of deceptive, conniving, immoral low-life would stoop to such trickery. Bet it would never happen in the Townsville Bulletin, would it? Huh, what? oh, oops.

But even when credibility-destroying cock-ups are right before their eyes, they still get into the paper. One should feel sorry for a decent old-time journo like Tony Raggatt, having his pic plastered between these clearly conflicting claims (the list clearly being nothing to with him).

But The Astonisher makes it easy to err take the piss.

This reeks of wreaking havoc on the language. Is The Angry Ant About To Up The Ante?

Paul Jacob Paul Jacob knows a cushy number when he sees one he is after all a Townsville City councillor. But it would seem our man is a tad more ambitious. The Ant broke ranks against Mayor Mullets Adani airstrip rort, conveniently just before he made an abortive run for state as a Labor-aligned but not endorsed candidate. Ever since, he has been regarded as a rebel ever since among the council sheeple and certainly by head shepherd Jennifer. So when he was front-paged in todays Astonisher

calling for an easing of water restrictions, many a pundit including The Pie, immediately assumed this was the signal for a Jacob joust for the top office in Walker Street. And that will be tricky. Unless Mayor Mullet abdicates and retires to malta, or runs on a Labor senate ticket her dearest wish but said not be shared by those who could make it so Clr Jacob will come under some intense pressure and even be flattered with promises of future glory by the Labor Party. Because despite her simpering shy denials of being a Labor mayor, Jenny Hill is, and is seen as, just that, and mainly by Labor itself. The party back room boys reckon mayor is as far as shes going, so they wouldnt rock what they see as a returnable vote boat in local government in March 2020. They know poor old Dolan Hayes will need Ashley and Martin soon with all the hair-tearing last thing the already beleaguered mayor needs is a Labor split ticket. But trust the Bulletin to come galumphing on to this particular scene with a few editorial bromides, but the best being this hilarious piece of total unselfawareness in an iditorial, which clearly is not Astonisher editorial policy.

Take your own advice, dearie. But Does The Pie Detect A Sly Dissension In The Senior Ranks At The Paper? Although The Pie doubts the feeling is mutual, he has great respect for the old-style work and values of John Ando Anderson he offers a very readable weekly service to the valuable rural readership of the paper, which clearly involves actual field work, and not just a few phone calls or, heaven forbid, lazy Facebook trolling. Now, Ando is nothing if not a steadfastly loyal News Ltd man; he has reason to be, the company spared no expense successfully defending him against spurious charge brought by the DPP over a jail interview almost 20 years ago. But The Pie couldnt help wonder if he wasnt trying to get a subtle message into the editors ear when writing today about Townsvilles landscape of words, waffle and impossible dreams.

Gotta love that line Pep talks are good for morale, but in the end, they start to sound like the boy crying wolf. And that, Ando, described PRECISELY the Bulletin editorial policy. very funny. Clever too, if The Pie is right. Pop in and have a chat to , will you? For all of us. Ghosts Of Iditors Past:Theres A Reason Hes Called Typo Gleeson

Typo Gleeson leaving an unsuccessful job interview as editor of Tailor & Cutter magazine. If you believe Sky Newss squeak fest hosted by Peter Typo Gleeson (sorry, only kidding) you might think David Crisafulli is returning to town for a special job and the head of TEL has changed her name.During the week, ww were treated too a hindenberg of hot air when Lil Patty OCallaghan and state opposition pollie Kid Crisafulli fielded a number of Dorothy Dixers from Typo. But one would think it was Typo in charge of the on-screen titling.

And when they got around to realising their mistake, in typical Typo fashion, they got that wrong too.

And Another Thing .. Best comment of the week goes to the bloke who replied to a totally embarrassing piece of nonesense in the paper about whether we are a friendly city. He suggested that of course we are we even wave to you from the roof of the Cleveland Detention Centre as you drive in from the airport. Luv it! Just what such a space-waste story deserved. Finally Its Been Another week of Wall-To-Wall umm .. Wall And we start with Mexico announcing the obvious

A Final Dad Joke (Well, Worked As A Granddad Joke)

Oh dear sorry. .. Thats it for another week, were off and running for 2019, its promising to be a cracker. There are a wider variety of folks taking to comments of late, keep it up, some are thoughtful, some hilarious, so entertain and be entertained. And if you have anything left over from the festive season, a donation to support The Magpies Nest will be of great assistance, the how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-massive-difference-between-buy-local-and-local-buy-how-mayor-mullet-has-played-the-townsville-business-community-for-mugs/

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uniquefanmusic-blog · 6 years ago

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