#cannot get these posts to look cohesive at all

[rugwurm]

[botanyshitposts]

Hey plant man, I like your plant posts. Should give us a lil plant post to rotate in our brains if you have some time. Take this as permission to sling spaghetti at the wall for whatever Plant Stuff has been in ur head

(I also feel like i should tell you that I cannot for the life of me remember when I started following this blog but going through your lichen posts had me telling all my direct family members how much lichen now baffles me, so thank u for reminding me that Science Does Not Know All)

for years i've strongly envisioned a plant museum exhibit i would make if i ever became the guy who got to do that. imagine the biggest wall in the exhibit dedicated to showing how lepidodentrons became modern plants (and it would be utilized for that instead of some crowd pleaser dinosaur because of isoetes favoritism for me only, i would insist the space be used like that instead of something more cohesive. I would take the public and say LOOK AT IT). it starts at the left side with a life-sized lepidodendron silhouette and shows species getting smaller and smaller along the wall until the far right, where there's an aquairium with isoetes collected from the closest healthy isoetes population, preferably in the same area so people can be like 'whoa so close to us'.

version two of this exhibit would be to just have a tank of local isoetes beside a life-sized lepidodendron silhouette or replica so you could compare the sizes more directly. version three of this exhibit would be to put a tank of isoetes at that place in scotland that has the grove of fossilized lepidodendron stumps still upright in place from when their grove got flooded for the last time.

any of these would have merch in the gift shop too by the way.

[neallo]

i have many complicated thoughts on Mello's relationship with longing / yearning but they're overlapping and come with conditions and footnotes and caveats and so instead of writing something cohesive i've been writing a million little scattered things about it and not posting very many of them. however, at the core of all these thoughts is this:

Mello needs Near more than Near needs him— or, at least, he needs Near and he believes his own need exceeds that of Near— and this is absolutely agonizing to him. i think it's agonizing enough that he straight up cannot acknowledge it directly in many universes. he will go to great lengths to avoid acknowledging his feelings for Near for as long as possible, because once he looks that yearning in the eye, it goes from living in his peripheral vision to sitting right in his line of sight. it's all downhill from there, but the speed of his fall depends on how many times he tries to break it.

does he find other ways of justifying his fixation on Near? does he tell himself it's about competition? about sex? how many times does he lie to himself, and for how long, and how much can he get himself to believe those lies? does he know Near wants him back? does he know Near loves him? can he admit that he loves Near, even within the ‘safety’ of his own mind? can he convince himself that he deserves any of the things he wants most? can he stop himself from taking and keeping those things, even if he doesn't believe he deserves them? can he accept his need for Near, or does he pull him in only to push him away (and then, of course, pull him in again, because Mello is too weak to stay away)?

you can make a convincing case for all of these, depending on the circumstances and their exact history with one another. and this is without even beginning to think of Near's side of the equation, and how their behaviors impact the other.

ARGHGGHGHH!!! THEY MAKE ME SO UNWELL!!!

anyway. there is no one true dynamic for meronia. i just write what interests me the most, which is constantly shifting in small, fun ways. i have my hard limits of what i personally can see as “in character,” but a skilled author can tempt me into a lot of flexibility, especially in an AU. the important thing is that they are two halves of a whole, destined, fated, a matching set, distorted mirror images, and soulmates. fucking hell. i have to go lie down

[lumosatnight]

Lani's Birthday Oneshots: 2024 🧁

As per tradition, today is my birthday and as a gift to you, I present a HP ONESHOT REC LIST to celebrate 🥳! Here are 15 oneshots, under 10k words (mostly), one for each day in June leading up to my birthday. Lots of genres, lots of tropes, ordered by ship (kinda).

🌼 - fluff | 💔 - angst | 🔥 - smut

—

1. The Pirc Defence by @sleepstxtic [Draco/Harry, E, 10k] ♟️❣️ This fic is brilliant!! Masterful, even. Kat does it again with the intriguing plot, the deeply intense relationships, and strongly lovable characters. This is the chess rivals to lovers fic that everyone deserves and needs to read RIGHT NOW.

2. Nightswimming by @sweet-s0rr0w [Draco/Ron, established Draco/Harry, M, 5k] 🔥🌃 This fic is delicious. Searing hot anticipation. That feeling right before the climax, the first spark of the match before the fire is fully lit. Exquisite. I just want to bask in it.

3. Postcards Of A Life Well Lived by @ghaniblue [Luna/Draco/Harry, M, 950] 🌼🦋 Georgeous slice of life. I love the dynamic between the three, weaving in and out of each others' lives. Luna is a gem.

4. This Tree Grows from Ash and Dust by @wellhalesbells [Dudley/Draco, M, 9k] 💔♣️ This fic is rife with tension. The Drudley dynamic sucks you right in and with unrequited Drarry in the background! I cannot get enough.

5. Different by @camelliacats [Nigel/Colin, T, 10k] 🌼💔 Canon-compliant how Nigel falls in love with his best friend's brother. Teen romance, first loves, and all the wonderful complicated feelings that come along with it.

6. self-made by @onewhodiedyoung [Cho/Ginny, T, 3k] 💔🦢 Beautiful post-war story. Ginny grappling with her identity and who she is after everything. Cho knowing and supporting and growing.

7. My Kink Is Karma by @chaos-bear [Lavender/Gilderoy, E, 3k] 🔥🤣 What a pairing!! Hilarious fic with some hot and then awkward smut. But absolutely perfect.

8. thorns, in amber by @thisisdecemberista [Sirius/Lily, established James/Lily, E, 5k] 💔🔥 God, this fic. The infidelity angst mixed with war mixed with their all-consuming love for James. A whirlwind of emotions that had me in a death grip. So so good.

9. Bouquet by sky_watcher_rose [Minerva/Poppy, T, 3k] 🌼💐 So sweet, so lovely! A professors getting together story that melts my heart. I always knew Minerva was a sweetheart beneath that strict exterior.

10. the end of illusions (who could ever be saved) by lovelit [Tom/Percy, E, 3k] 🦁🐍 Percy discovers Tom's diary and things spiral from there. I absolutely adore Percy in this: hardworking, overlooked, and just seeking a friend.

11. Come Slowly, Eden by Paimpont [Voldemort/Molly, M, 3k] 💔🥧 A pairing that at first glace seems incongruous but actually works so well! Molly showing Voldemort kindness, and him showing her family mercy. *chef's kiss*

12. Tom Riddle Sr. by @limetameta [Tom & Tom Sr, T, 4k] 💔🏡 A Tom Riddle Sr. character study in which he raises Tom on his own. Voldemort is so much the same, and so much different. I would read so much more of this universe.

13. Unfinished by @turanga4 [Fat Friar & Harry, T, 1k] 💔🌙 Grief, love, and loss. A lovely, heartfelt look into the aftermath of the BOH and Harry finding comfort in Hogwarts.

14. Through the Sleepless Night by @mugsdontlie [Mundungus & Arabella, T, 2k] 🌼🐈 I love friendship fics and I love their friendship here! Mugs is the master of rare pair dynamics. There's such familiarity between the characters. It feels so real and the perfect backdrop to canon.

15. Sexy Gobs by @emilyrickman [Lighning Era & Professors, T, 650] 🌼📝 Hilarious and so creative. The formatting is insane! But I'm most impressed by creating a cohesive story simply from a couple of post-it notes.

BONUS FIC (>10k): Wit Beyond Measure by @midnightstargazer [Unrequited Bloody Baron/Grey Lady, T, 14k] 💔👑 Stunning, amazing fic showcasing Helena Ravenclaw. Struggling under the expectations of her mother, leaving to find herself, and returning to safeguard the castle's students. I love the depth, the fleshed-out insight we get into her character!

—

Want more fics to read?

Try my rec tag: #lumosinthelibrary

Bday Oneshots (<10k), Year in Reading, WLW Library

[inchidentally]

Um, these 60 seconds of recent content between Lando and Oscar made me realize one thing, are these two really only knowing each other for a year or their whole lives?

the audience does not know !!!

like there's a very specific 'united front' thing I can see in a lot of partnerships and it's founded on different things but ultimately manifests in a feeling of cohesion between the drivers. (and I am so sorry bc I saw in passing someone else made a similar post to this but I cannot remember who so lmk bc I don't want to be ripping off their idea !! I have my own separate feelings about it so it's not a copy but still I wish I could have kept that on my dash long enough to rb)

like most teammates fall in the neutral category of professional politeness and friendliness but also the need to push for their own advantage wherever possible. totally fine and normal. also allows for a few fireworks occasionally which is just as good for fan engagement - sometimes more - than if the drivers were always cool w each other.

aberrations like Senna and Prost, brocedes, and sebmark are not to be included - way too unique. could even throw Esteban and Pierre in there.

you've got consummate professionals Lewis and George who are both careful about cultivating their own separate images and who hold a baseline of genuine respect for each other - but part of that respect being that they both know they'll look out for themselves first. so they're very much similar and equals even in operating very independently. ultimately they want the mess to get cleaned up and to shake hands and do business as usual. I could see them genuinely having to hash out something truly ugly and shake hands and move onto their own lives no problem. which like, they clearly have lol.

then there's a situation like Alex and Logan where the dynamic is so incredibly imbalanced BUT you have someone as humanly decent and warm as Alex (even if he maybe wishes he were less so for competitive reasons) and Logan has already become very skilled at dealing with being an outsider/almost unwanted :( and it's clear that they both see how hard-working they both are and what a massive thankless task they have in trying to just achieve points - undetermined if they're mostly friendly out of trauma bonding or will remain friends after being separated but there's absolute friendliness and respect.

then there's The Charisma Guys of Daniel and Carlos and now Lando (who mooched a lot of his F1 charisma off of Carlos and then Daniel). Daniel and Carlos replicate an almost identical dynamic with all of their teammates and it's predicated on what most drivers are already well versed in, which is: playing gay for fangirls, bromance hugging/camaraderie/ribbing for sports media and fans, and taking care of their own brand and career separately from their teammate. it's a powerful tool to have especially for leveraging the popularity of whatever bromance they're in towards their own image without having to lose power over their own image. individual sponsorships being a driver's second goal after winning races and WDCs also makes this an exceptionally good skill to have. it only starts to break down when the personal fortunes of one of the drivers start to hit hard times (current example being obvious).

the Carlos and Charles dynamic absolutely pulls a lot from the charisma/bromance stuff but the huge difference is that Ferrari would - like any F1 team - not give a shit if they didn't get along and just hitched on a bland smile for the cameras. Ferrari aren't remotely behind C2 being what it is, that's all Charles and Carlos. don't get me wrong Ferrari social media teams are MORE than happy to jump on! and sure, the challenges and content are a fun bonus thing to sponsors but three things here: one is that Ferrari IS the brand and they're a top 3 team like they're not grasping for sponsors asflgaslf. two is that as many partnerships have shown, you really don't need to do that much to satisfy the brief. and third, sponsors are like 99.999999% interested in the team's standings and the drivers' individual popularity with partnership popularity coming dead bottom - the bromances are only worth it if they're engagement darlings like carlando. and charlos doesn't do anywhere near those numbers or that widespread corporate social media appeal. you gotta do major impact with crazed fans for it to at all influence a brand's decision where to put their money. so all of the pop off the screen fun and genuine enjoyment we see Carlos and Charles have is fully legit. when they're being tongue-in-cheek levels of cutesy they literally say so. 2025 onward will see how much of a friendship there actually is, but as far as them being very happy with the partnership and collaborating exceptionally well within it, they're far more rock solid and natural at it than most. and the fact that they're if anything even tighter when there's zero incentive for it ?? and when their families and fanbases and their team principal and garages are constantly feuding ?? like it says everything about how much they respect each other and actually feel affection for each other to remain such a united front and so happy and affectionate. nobody else benefited from Carlos asking his team to tell Charles' team to come celebrate his win with him. nobody else in Ferrari or on the grid made bank off of about Charles rushing to congratulate Carlos while he was still in the car. (especially not when carlando did a quick hug and it got brands and official accounts posting tiktok ship edits to the predictable delight of thousands of fangirls. and for them all to cough cough conveniently ignore the embrace with his gf to push the image further.) there is no PR benefit behind C2 that would justify them hitching on such a dramatic facade - and if anything the people around them would prefer they kept separate so that they could celebrate one without the other. whatever their relationship is after this there will always be that massive respect IN SPITE of what the world around them wants.

but Lando and Oscar are such a major aberration not just in them both being so incredibly young and arriving into F1 so hot and already being so close in ability, but their specific 'history' and personalities. they were already such an easy fit together that it surpassed the professional need for a bromance buffer - and at the same time their bond being partly on how naturally private and shy they are made them poorly suited for a PR machine.

Oscar had already said - and a lot of fans already knew - that there were several friends in common and that the shifts in careers and being separated professionally by more years than their ages is the only thing that meant they'd never crossed paths before privately. as K said back when Oscar originally opened that TikTok acc it was so long ago that he followed Max F but that Lando didn't even have an one yet.

but also as many people close to Lando have said (good example that was posted recently) and that we can often still see in streamer Lando - Lando is very much like Oscar as a person at his core. pretty much all of the 'famous person' stuff we saw him become happened after 2019 and directly because of latching onto the social lives of guys like Carlos, Daniel and Martin. he's always referred to as extremely shy and he's said before he likes for others to lead. but his comfort place is still either hanging out in private with close friends only or to get on stream and laugh with his friends. Lando himself said that he considers Oscar to be very similar to him as a person outside of F1 and for all that in some ways that seems surprising, when you look at who Lando is when he's not in Professional Mode or Party Friends Mode he genuinely really fits in with someone quiet like Oscar who loves spending hours gaming w his friends and not being in public. I don't know enough about Martin Garrix as a person but I rly honestly see that with him as well. yes there's the Party Friend aspect but for them to travel solo for two entire winter breaks in a row ?? clearly Martin is a peaceful, quiet guy on Lando's level <3

and ofc I go onnnnn and fucking on about how while we all hate it bc it means we don't get as much content, the fact is that Lando and Oscar are the type of friendship/partnership where it's quiet and private and not something that translates to a bromance on camera. it's never going to be strategic.

so the fact that they have this "twinning" thing isn't that they are identical or that they even look all that similar, it's down to actually slotting in really well with each other as people! as always who knows how deep these friendships actually go but the whole mind-reading and synchronization and total lack of drama between them as drivers comes from genuinely being similar people and liking each other - that's what we're all picking up on when we watch them together.

the fact that they honestly find it awkward as hell when the media try to get them to "package" their friendship in bromancey soundbites or when they look at the camera a bit like an intruder that's making them dance their friendship around for media, like. that's so incredibly relatable for how any of us would feel with one of our actual friends having to do all that. having a camera aimed at us and some stranger being like "so you two get on really well huh?" and practically leaning in for an expected answer ???? it would be so stupid and weird and the whole way Lando and Oscar work together in unison to dispel how weird that is is so natural !!

idk it's like there's different things to take from different partnerships and literally all of us are suckers for a fun bromance and great professional chemistry. but I think this whole universal 'twins' thing that everyone sees in Lando and Oscar is genuinely two guys who are similar in all the fundamental ways and who actually slot together in ways where they naturally just agree on everything and therefore can predict a lot of what the other person is thinking if that makes sense ??? like yes Lando has Single Guy Party Times and professional motivations where Oscar does not but for a friendship and partnership to work, those are the two least relevant things to need to be similar about y'know ??

[hjnxx]

doesn’t it make you feel bad? having full control. she woke up and you ruined her. now she’s hurting and you hide your hands. it’s your fault. it’s your fault. it’s our fault. FEB 2022.

on february fourteenth twenty twenty - two, hijinxx would release their second extended play addiction: take down on all streaming platforms.

five tracks to the ep’s name, the group would come back after two months since their previous digital release sweet juice, the song acting as a segue into the new body of work.

ahyeon is credited across the board on the ep, from lyrics to composition to the final arrangements. #ahyeonfirstwin! it did spark a lot of fans worried about her being already so overworked… but she was quick to assure fans that her passion could never be draining to her.

take down is described as the first breaking point. if sweet juice is them indulging themselves to their fill, answering the call and falling to their respective demise, take down is the first inkling of something truly wrong. it’s the weird gut feeling when things are too still for the actions you’ve committed, sinking to nestle in your stomach to fester slowly. slowly do you begin to realize what you’ve done and the first thing you do is panic as your actions cannot be undone. your prayers go unanswered and your begging falls on deaf ears. the consequences are yours and yours alone to bear. still, you blame outside forces on the choices you made with your own two hands.

each song can yet again be interpreted as a look into each entity’s experience through their respective turbulent time. in order, as well. with ahyeon vowing to topple each obstacle in take down to yuina’s confession during the bridge of chasing dreams, the girls then come together to collectively blame love as their reason out. and isn’t it so convenient to always have a way out?

STYLING & COMMENTARY.

the idea was to show the slow progression of deterioration due to lack of self - regulation. the outfits start in their usual coordinated but detailed to each member fashion, but as they perform more and more stages, each entity slowly begins to become sluggish—shown through ripped seams or loosely draped fabric. of course, in order, the changes were noticeable in yuina first, then eunji, followed then by micha and ahyeon.

the stage outfits began to get progressively ‘worse’ alongside their performances. previously sharp angles turned into sloppier with each stage, the formations falling apart more and more. makeup would look as if a toddler had been given the liberty of head mua and hair stylist. it would leave netizens divided until a fan would take it upon themselves to string a cohesive in-lore timeline, a thread that would soon cement itself as an great fandom reference for new fans. the account, an anonymous user by the name of jinxedtwice would even be acknowledged by the girls themselves, leaving fans to wonder how the person knew so much.

COMEBACK SUMMARY.

comeback on valentine’s day with a dark sound about the consequences of overindulgence? don’t mind if i doooo… trixx welcomed the concept with open arms! (un)happy trended the highest that month as fans used the song to post their own ruined makeup looks for the rest of the month, even breaking into local territory. in total, their comeback boasted six wins, including a show! music core win. and speaking of mucore..

did we tell you that yuina was selected as a host? no? well now you know! she was chosen to replace minju in november the previous year after the actress would step down for personal reasons and quick to become a fan favorite for her quick with and facial reactions. and she would soon claim netizen’s hearts once again as she would breakdown before announcing her group’s win on the show.

[godfrey-the-chaos-duck]

this is without a doubt the weirdest thing I have ever done

SALUTATIONS, HELLAVERSE FANDOM! 

You probably don't know me, but my name is Godfrey. (Pleasure to be meeting you, quite a pleasure!) 

To be quite honest, I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing here. As I type this, I'm unspeakably nervous.

"Why are you nervous, Godfrey?" I hear you ask.

Well...

I have a dream

I'm here to tell

About a fanfic I wrote for Hazbin Hotel 

(sorry)

Okay okay serious director voice from now. 

Look, this is gonna sound absolutely unhinged, but hear me out. (insane rambles under the cut, this bitch is LONG)

In April, a friend and I had a conversation about a song I wrote and how it was. Well, kinda coded to Vox and Valentino.

Then one thing led to another, and two-and-a-bit months and twelve thousand words later, I had written an absolutely sprawling shitshow of a fic (details later in the post)

Even as I was writing it, I knew the written word didn't do it justice.

Hence, this post. 

(golly, this sounds really demanding, I am so sorry)

Fuck it, my mom always says "if you don't ask you don't get", and for once I want her to be right.

This is, I suppose, a sort of... call to action, for lack of a better term.

Artists, animators and voice actors, I'd like your help to turn this fic into an animatic, or if we can manage it, an actual animation.

ONLY if we can manage it, not if it's gonna stress anyone out.

IMPORTANT NOTE

Just to get this out of the way, not that I should even need to say this but it's unfortunately 2024. If anyone even SUGGESTS using A.I. your ass is getting blocked. I don't fuck with that artificial bullshit.

On to my next point: I am unequivocally in support of artists and actors being paid for their work. 

However, I am a Broke Bitch. Unless we could somehow do crowdfunding or something, I physically would not be able to pay people. This makes me feel like a very shitty person, but unfortunately it's the truth, and I want to be upfront and honest about that.

This is why I hope to get as many people on board as possible for this project, so nobody has to do a shit-ton of work.

I understand that most of you are busy, with work, school/college, or life generally life-ing. Join the club, my life is hectic too.

This is why I really have no set deadline for this. Whether it takes a few months or a few years, as long as it's done well with a minimal amount of stress.

Well, now that that's out of the way, time to go into details a bit.

Characters in order of appearance (this is mainly for VAs)

Vox

Valentino

Velvette 

Angel Dust

Charlie

Husk

Alastor

Vaggie

Lucifer

Niffty

Sir Pentious

Asmodeus (yeah this is slightly a Helluva Boss crossover)

Frank (the egg boi)

Fizzarolli

Katie Killjoy

Tom Trench

And lastly, depending on what everyone else thinks, I have an idea for how Verosika and Zestial can be involved. 

Will there be musical numbers?

The short answer is YEAH, cause Hazbin is a musical. I cannot stress enough how much the music is My Problem. Literally, apart from people singing, I will take care of that.

My Idea Of The Process 

(please bear in mind I have little to no idea of how the animation process works so this is almost definitely wrong, please feel free to correct me about it)

Step 1. Storyboard

Step 2. Voice lines and songs get recorded

Step 3. Animatic (this could very well end up being as far as it gets and that is absolutely cool beans)

Possible Step 4. Animation

Finally, I'd be more than happy to be the one to edit all the clips together. Editing is its own kind of hell, and I'm totally willing to take one for the team.

The Vision

This is. (fffffff) this is the part that's gonna make me sound like a Draconian jerk but I promise I don't mean to come across this way.

I'm hoping to have something that's as close to the style of the show as possible. (this video kinda has the right vibes) This is so the final project will look cohesive and somewhat professional. (god that probably sounded so bad but I genuinely have no idea how else to say it)

TO BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR. I have nothing against artists with other distinctive art styles, in fact I've come across several that I absolutely love.

Regarding The Writing

I've never directed anything before, so forgive me if this is crossing a line, but like. 

I have my vision for how I want this to go and I'm kind of. not overly flexible on that. Obviously ideas that people have to get this to work good are more than welcome, but they might not end up happening.

Not to be a dick, but I am sorta the director so I do kinda get to make the call on that stuff. (ew god that felt odd)

If this gets off the ground, I'd have to turn this 12,000 word fic into a script to make it easier for people to read it and not get bogged down by my weird old-fashioned poetic style. This would be sent out to people who express interest at some point.

Just a heads-up: If you're expecting an AO3 link I am so sorry but it's Google Docs, mainly because this thing is wildly self-indulgent and I, for one, do not fancy attracting potential haters. Most people are nice, some are very vocally not. Besides, what would be the fun if everyone knew the story in advance?

BASICALLY

If you're interested shoot me an ask and I'll answer privately (OFF anon pls, I wanna know who I'm workin' with here!) or DM me and I'll get back to you.

If you see this and know someone who'd be interested, feel free to tag them or send this post to them.

I am gonna tag @achilleanauthor (my right hand man over here) @emeraldcity1900 and @onesidedradiostatic as they're kind of the only blogs I know who are I guess. Active in the Hellaverse fandom.

If this gains enough traction and I get people on board, I'll be setting up a Discord server (another first for me). 

Watch this space, and as Alastor would say, "Stay tuned..."

[whats-she-gonna-post-next]

So I just finished binding Trust Life by the absolutely amazing @chaiandsage (Hello, I am ready to be perceived now, I hope that I have done your story even the slightest bit of justice) and I just wanted to make a post both showing it off, and going through what I learned doing this bind because I did a few new things here and want to talk about it.

Also I'm not going to subject you all to this, so most everything but the final product here is going to be below the cut.

(Also so sorry that the photos aren't the best. I am... Very bad at photography, lmao)

Ok, so let's start off with some of the cool things I learned during this bind. Or, maybe not necessarily cool, but they are things I learned and I think that learning is cool!

First off, I learned how to download and add fonts to Microsoft Word, which while not interesting, does open up a whole world of fonts for future binds. Is it a little late in the game to have found this? Probably. But it is what it is. I actually downloaded a pretty good chunk of different ones, but the fonts I actually used were MF Love Dings for the heart motif dividers, which was a new download, and then a few standard fonts - Edwardian Script ITC for the title pages, Baskerville Old Face for the chapter headers, Book Antiqua for the chapter titles, and good old Garamond for the actual text of the novel.

Here is the divider and the title fonts. I just think they are neat.

Another thing I learned was how to make book cloth! I found these squares of white cotton fabric at a dollar tree and decided to give it a go. The way I did mine was by painting them first (a task in and of itself, and as you can see on the cover, did not turn out super even, but I love them nonetheless) and then I glued down a layer of tissue paper to give it a little stiffness and make it stick to the chipboard easier, it was a super cool process and I look forward to trying it again in the future now that I have done it once and have a better idea of how I can improve in the future

And now onto some of the other cooler parts of the process!

So I had a lot of fun doing the formatting, it's my favourite part of any binding process, I cannot tell you how many fics I have formated that I have yet to print out and actually bind because I enjoy the process so much (the answer is actually 5 that are completely formatted and ready to go, 3 that I am actively in the middle of formatting, 4 projects completed - including this one, which... may technically count as 3, granted 2 of them were gifts for other people - and 3 that I am planning on doing that I haven't gotten to start on yet. Oh, and a 5 part series that I have printed out but haven't actually bound yet. I have a problem, lmao.) As I mentioned, I downloaded a few fonts for this but it just ended up looking so good in the end. Here is what some of the inner formatting looks like (I did just take the screenshots from word, I thought it was easier than getting the pages in the book)

Something else! This was the first time I actually broke a single fic into multiple parts, and I do not regret it. Each section is fairly large on its own, so it would have been a monster all together. I gave them basically the same title pages and such, just used the main stories summary for all of them and copy pasted everything - work smarter, not harder - and kept the same format for the chapters and such. There were 2 obvious spots (at least imo) for breaking things up, those being at the end of chapter 24, and then again at the end of 57, if you know, you know. However, that made the divide be 24 chapter, 33 chapter, 9 chapters. I was a little worried about how that divide to affect the look of the books, but I was pleasantly surprised how well it worked out. Book 2 there is quite obviously the largest part (it's basically double the length of book 1) but book 3 was surprisingly long for being only 9 chapters and I think they look fairly cohesive together. I didn't realize how long the last nine chapters themselves were. The first and third ones are actually about the same size together as book two, which is pretty cool!

When it came time to put together the actual books, I stuck with my tried and true french link stitch, as I find it to be a sturdy stitch, and then used green, yellow, and red card stock for the end pages, I felt it thematic.

I'm super excited to have this as a physical book now, thank again to chaiandsage for allowing me to bind this amazing story and just for writing it in the first place! I read it like twice in the span of a month, and I swear I have read chapter 57 and 58 themselves way too many times to count. Not even going to mention the amount of times I read the last 6 chapters because I just love a good happy ending.

But yeah, I'm really happy how this bind turned out, I still have to put an actual cover in these - which I plan on doing, I have a friend who is going to help me with the cover design when they are free, so there will be an update at some point.

[girlgenius1111]

jesus sorry last thing actually- i want to make it clear im not some korbin super fan, and i don’t agree with her veiws whatsoever. i just disagree with a lot of comments ive seen online about what she has to do publicly or if she deserves to play and so on. at the end of the day she plays a sport and she’s good at it and THATS what got her where she is and where all of the team is. NOT their beliefs and veiws.

i’m gonna post screenshots of your previous asks instead of answering all 3

re your first ask,

i def think team cohesion is obviously necessary and it makes sense that they don’t outwardly hate her even if they disagree with her statements. my comment that they looked excited was more that they look REALLY excited for her. like genuinely, on a personal level, they looked happy for her specifically that she scored a goal. not just that they scored goal. idk if that makes sense.

i think until this match, her performances have been really underwhelming. blame it on the boos and people hating on her, but i don’t really think it makes sense to choose a player that brings controversy and hasn’t been playing well.

regarding her apologies, i get the point you’re making. people are entitled to their opinions. obviously the issue is when she puts them on social media for the world to see. i don’t think anyone can force her to change her beliefs, but i do think that her actions should have consequences. if you spew hate, you shouldn’t just get to apologize on your instagram story and move on.

i think maybe you aren’t considering that the uswnt isn’t just a team with some gay players. for a lot of people, it was the first place they saw openly gay people in the spotlight. the team and the environment around the team is supposed to be a safe space for the fans, which it cannot be if a raging homophobe is in said space.

that’s why i think the alleged work she’s doing behind the scenes should be public. like sam mewis said, her actions were very public, and the way she makes up for them should be public as well.

it’s not just woso fans hurt by her actions. adults can read the things she reposted, and not be affected by it, but impressionable kids and teens can read the same thing and take it to heart.

at the end of the day, people are entitled to their opinions and beliefs. the issue with korbin is that her statements were public, were hateful, and disparaged a large portion of uswnt fans as well as someone who has done so much for women’s soccer and for lgbtq+ issues.

these actions should have consequences, and a lot of people feel that her apology didn’t really do enough, and the fact that there have been no tangible consequences is frustrating.

hate shouldn’t be excused because it’s someone’s opinion. people are free to say what they want, but that doesn’t mean that these words won’t come with consequences.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

If it were up to you how would you change the Hunger game’s story to make it more cohesive?

I don’t have a ton of opinions because the core premise is just kind of silly to me. If the point is a government forcing its children to fight to the death over food rations then I simply would not focus on the pretty dresses or the protagonist making eyes at a love interest for cameras. But then that would drastically alter the series identity. So I don’t think that’s necessarily fair as a way to approach reworking the books

So with the understanding that I think the base idea and execution is flawed, my strongest opinion is that Catching Fire needed to be about Katniss participating as a mentor and essentially being forced to be complicit in the games. Putting her back in the arena feels like a major cop out, when according to the books’ own rules that never happens! I could live with her refusing to kill anyone in the first book. I think that made a lot of sense, and the penultimate moment with her and Peeta threatening suicide was basically what the entire book hinged on

But past that, if there are going to be more books, then she needs to get her hands dirty. And I think getting into the wheeling and dealing of the Capital would be an interesting way to do that. We could basically still meet all the same victors as mentors instead and get actually meaningful looks into their lives outside of the arena. And forcing Katniss into situations where she cannot rely on scowling or being the subject of the pageantry could be really interesting. I want to see the moral crisis of what she’s willing to do to keep her tribute(s) alive and how that will actually necessitate the deaths of others— until maybe The Plan is introduced to her. Much fucking earlier than in canon lol

The Great Info Dump Of Doom after the plot twist is just so staggeringly fucking incompetent and handled in such a bad way. I cannot believe Collins ever got away with that. Her sense of pacing and structure is genuinely just absolute garbage, idk look at Mockingjay and how Katniss’ disastrous side mission accomplished literally nothing narratively aside from shock value deaths to teach us that… idk no one is safe or whatever? I truly think Collins just needed to give Katniss something to do and just jammed that in. But that’s a tangent. Anyway Catching Fire just being entirely different to avoid that massive info dump would be great. Maybe Katniss can actually be in on fucking anything before it happens

Mockingjay was like mostly fine for the first half and then… yeah it devolved. I don’t have many thoughts on how to fix it beyond a) nix the dumb Katniss mission b) don’t tradwife her???

Worth noting, I did think Coin being awful as well and Prim dying were good beats actually. I think the former simply made a lot of sense given Thirteen’s refusal to help anyone else thus far/what it takes to successfully be in power. And exploring moral complexities in revolution is fine

But with the way the narrative completely discards Gale as a radical, while Peeta deserves to be deprogrammed, and Katniss gets tradwifed in a way that surreptitiously basically affirms Snow’s values (when all his plot contribution is basically being ridiculously over invested in forcing traditional femininity on her!) that adds up to something extremely weird in quietly thematically siding with the Capital

And yeah my answer is… simply do not do that? It is not very hard! Resolve it in any other number of ways! Primarily, like I said in my other post about the ending, I would like the resolution to focus on Katniss as herself a child. If we’re making a point of Panem’s children having a future now, that could and should focus on her? She has been forced into the role of unwilling caregiver from the very beginning. What better way to show that the children are no longer in danger than show her having the opportunity to heal and rest, and have the luxury to rely on other people? Anyway I think it should end with her decidedly not married, going to school, and like idk maintaining a hobby garden at home with some Meaningful primrose

[canisvesperus]

I’ve seen some discussion on this, so allow me to explain something.

Some people do not seem to grasp why artists like me draw so much fashionable Eridan. He’s not fashionable at all, just look at his canon outfit, they say. Well, it is simple. Eridan is one of the few trolls actually experimenting with fashion at a young age in the comic. Look me in the eye and tell me you too weren’t a hot mess trying to dress “fashionable” in middle school. Yet, chances are that if you had that awareness and drive early on, you will also develop a sense of style and grasp on aesthetics earlier in life compared to your peers. This was my experience. I was well known for being very stylish as a kid, but this didn’t happen overnight. Indeed, if you were one of these kids you most definitely started off with some odd or disharmonious clothing combinations that you threw together in an attempt to express yourself aesthetically despite inexperience in that type of self-expression. I can’t speak for everyone else, but I usually draw young adult Eridan. Obviously given some time, his tastes would develop and mature into something derived from those original aesthetic visions, but far more cohesive.

It’s clear he’s trying to assert his individualism and status in his clothing choices, and most of y’all shrug him off as having bad taste while not also foreseeing the intent and vision behind those choices. I see it, and so do other artists. We differ in how we portray this derivation because there are frankly a dozen different directions he could take it depending on the circumstances of the post-canon/fix it scenario. This is why you may see me refer to the Eridan in my depictions as “my Eridan”. I don’t presume to depict something identical to Homestuck proper, nor am I particularly interested in doing so. If you’re the type of person who is married to the events of canon and cannot consider a scenario involving an older Eridan who was allowed to grow and change, this is why we are not seeing eye to eye— and I’m certain this is the root cause of various other discourses as they pertain to portraying the character in post-canon fanworks. That’s fine. That’s your choice. My choice is different.

Eridan consistently demonstrates concern (an excess, really, which backfired for him in the cruelest of ways poor thing) with respect to how he is perceived, hence the consciously thought out image-crafting and classic Eridan façades that his own peers call him out on for being poorly executed, transparent, and otherwise not believable. They were kids. This is normal. Of course he doesn’t have himself figured out yet. It’s a process. Some people in this fandom believe his façade in the most literal and uncritical of ways but this is all a story for another day. Is his drip game shit though, without regards for fan interpretations? If you’re asking me, I don’t think it’s really that bad considering his age. I really don’t think it’s that bad. That kind of scarf with the cape is a bit much to wear around the neck. Maybe he’ll swap the big scarf for something similar in function and category but less top heavy— a cravat, jabot, bandana, or lavallière? If the cape is too overwhelming for the rest of the outfit, a smaller caplet, shawl, or a coat will work. To accommodate some of the alternative neckwear, a shirt with a collar would be preferable. What many people perceive as a turtleneck sweater, need not be entirely sacrificed. Put a sweater vest on that boy. I see lots of complaints about the shoes and pants. More discreet pinstripes and more formal shoes (field boots, paddock boots, oxfords) will work. Of course he can go in the opposite direction, less formal, in that case the cape can go and the long scarf can stay, get some cool sneakers, consider denim bottoms or casual slacks in a single color, accents welcome. However this isn’t the derivation I pursue so I feel less qualified to speculate. He could ditch all of it even. Start new and fresh especially if he were to go through a markedly subversive reclamation of identity and character redemption sort of process. In any case, he can work with it!!! You just have to believe in him.

I believe Eridan had a lot of narrative potential that was wasted, possibly out of disinterest for the character. It’s only predictable that artists like me simply want to devise a world in which these characters had a chance to actually live their lives. I truly do not understand why there has to be so much confusion over this. That‘s all.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

My life is falling apart a bit (my own doing), so I’m requesting a lot of two fics (my two favorites right now)! I’m also picking up Things We’re All Too Young to Know to read right now, to give me something to do.

Max for 🔼 and 🦮 please! (If it’s easier to split into two posts, feel free to do so!!)

- Sarah

Hi! Hope things are a bit better now <3 Thanks for reading the long ass fic, haha. I appreciate it!

Here's 1k for 🔼 since sweet Cranberry is finished.

---

A larger house. 

It is clear to Eddie that there is literally no room for them to live the way they really want to live. As one cohesive family. Jane’s crib is still in the master of his house. The couch is not a good long-term solution if Buck wants to sleep over. They can’t ever really fool around if they’re not at the loft. And someone has to be home with the kids. So then it’s a matter of choosing who gets private time that evening.

Really, it’s not working. It’s the only thing not working. And Eddie knows Shannon and Buck agree.

Eddie thinks a lot about it. He really does. The best thing for them all to do is get a bigger house together. Maybe it’s soon, but Eddie thinks it’s the best bet at making this thing successful. Even if it’s a rental, rather than a purchase. Plus, Jane will need her own room eventually. She cannot share with her parents or with a soon-to-be preteen. They’ll have to move eventually no matter what. Might as well move somewhere with enough space for five. 

Of course, Eddie thinks about the finances. He really has to. Los Angeles is expensive as fuck. But right now they’re paying Eddie’s mortgage and Buck’s rent. So that’ll hopefully be less expensive by combining forces. The only issue is that moving is a lot, and stressful, and Shannon has been researching her options for her career. Eddie doesn’t want to drop this on her in the middle of that. But… But maybe it would make it easier overall? If she had a less chaotic home situation? 

Eddie plans on addressing it with them. Suggesting it. But then wildfires break out in Texas. They’re being offered a good chunk of change to go fight them. And, well… With housing on the brain, who is Eddie to turn that down? 

ii.

Shannon finds what she wants to do. 

It wasn’t something on her mind. It wasn’t even something she knew was an option. Upon looking up the different educational requirements for what she wants to do, Shannon began to feel discouraged. She wants it to involve art. She wants it to involve kids and helping kids, specifically. She always felt like her art teachers gave her such an outlet. But the schooling required for a teaching degree is extensive. She looked up art therapy. Even more schooling is required there. 

Then she stumbles upon an article about a developmental services worker using art to help kids with different disabilities connect with their families better. And that sort of strikes a chord. She never did anything like that. She remembers when she reconnected with Eddie and Chris, Eddie was taking Chris to all these modified surfing lessons. Eddie would be in the water with them, in the beginning, to help Chris feel safe. In Texas, Shannon didn’t really have anything like that. The occupational and physical therapies she took Chris to weren’t like that. They didn’t create any bonding or good memories. They were just clinical. And sometimes, when Shannon was overwhelmed and lonely and out of her depth, they just added to the stress. 

So she looks into it. Developmental services worker. It’s a year-long college diploma, plus some apprenticeship hours. Plus, it looks like a decent amount of the former can be done online. Definitely a bonus, with the baby in the house. A year of school, and then an apprenticeship… By the time she’d be working, Jane would at least be two. She’d feel more comfortable with Jane in daycare or an ECE program or something like that. 

It’s perfect. It’s perfect and she wants to do it. 

She does a crap ton of research while Buck and Eddie are in Texas. Texas. The thought of being back there makes her shiver. Even the other side of the state. 

Anyway, they’re in Texas. She’s home researching. Figuring it out. Planning. Planning so much, in fact, that by the time they walk through the front door, exhausted and travel weary, she’s ready and buzzing with anticipation to explain it all. Is it the best time for their enthusiastic and active listening? No. Does she desperately need to talk about it to someone other than her nine and a half month old? Yes. 

“That sounds amazing,” Buck tells her over dinner. “I think you’d be great at it.”

“I agree,” Eddie says. “Perfect fit.”

“There’s only one issue,” Shannon admits. 

“Which is?” Eddie asks. 

“The open house where I could go talk to people from the program is on the fifteenth,” she explains.

“How is that a problem?” Eddie asks.

“Christopher’s orthodontist appointment is at the same time,” Shannon says. “Remember?”

Eddie blinks, tiredly.

“Slipped my mind over the past few days.”

“Well, okay. Chris has an orthodontist appointment. I’m taking him. You’re watching Jane, because-”

“Because the front desk lady always tries to pinch her cheeks and it makes her cry,” Eddie recites. “Right.”

Shannon hates that woman. 

Buck pouts and looks over at Jane in her high chair. “Who would pinch you?”

“Lorraine,” Shannon grumbles.

“Okay, you go to the open house,” Eddie says. “I’ll take Chris to the appointment, and-”

“I’ll watch Jane,” Buck adds.

Shannon exhales. “You’re sure?”

“Yep,” Buck smiles. “I’ve got no plans on the fifteenth.”

iii.

Two mornings after Buck returns home from Texas, he wakes in the bed at his loft to Maddie knocking on the door. This is a problem for two reasons. First, he’s naked and sleepy and not expecting her. Second, Shannon is naked and sleepy and not expecting her.  She slept over last night. Eddie is with the kids. They really need a bigger place so they can stop doing, like, sex shifts. It’s kind of a bummer. Well… Not so much that Buck doesn’t want Shannon to come over, of course.

[mabepearls]

sumeru boys redesigns + notes

as you may know, i redesigned the sumeru boys a few weeks ago because, as much as i love them to bits, their designs are well. not that great in some areas. also because i wanted to draw them more often without the roadblock of their designs being so complicated. i've mainly been drawing my cyno and tighnari redesigns, but i did also do alhaitham and kaveh, so i thought that i'd show off these redesigns in one post, along with some notes on why i made certain decisions. hope you enjoy!

(pre-note: just so no one gets confused, i also renamed everyone when i did my redesigns, giving tighnari and alhaitham first names and cyno and kaveh last names.)

tighnari ❀

(renamed abdullah al-tighnari; tighnari was made his surname because that was the case for the real guy he was based on)

i went into this thinking "how can i make this design more appealing to me while still retaining what the original design meant?". since tighnari is one of my favorites in the game overall, i put a lot of pressure on myself to make a decent design.

a lot of tighnari's design inspiration comes from moroccan (specifically amazigh) culture, which i kept in my mind through most of the drawing. this inspiration shows in his bead necklace (i forget the name), his belt, and his earring, which i remade to mirror the shape of moroccan headpieces.

gave him some muscles because there's no way a guy with his job wouldn't have them. also a bottom-heavy fat distribution for self-indulgent purposes.

the design has less layers and lighter/flowier clothes because of tighnari's canon sensitivity to heat. if you're living in the rainforest (a famously humid biome), you probably wouldn't be wearing what canon tighnari does, heat sensitivity or not.

gave him some traits that are popular headcanons, such as the flower thigh tattoo, the sharp teeth, the scars, the claw-like nails (with the middle and ring nails filed down for No Reason), and the lichtenberg figure. also gave him tan skin and wavy hair because i Cannot deal with canon nari looking like that.

sturdy shoes! archery gloves! his vision on his belt! quality of life features that an actual forest ranger would have!

i will admit that the slit pants, the shorts, and the tights were all for self-indulgence reasons, but i think they go together well with the rest of the outfit too.

a braid in his hair for cynari marriage purposes. (i hc that in sumeru, marriages are consummated by braiding each other's hair)

kaveh ❂

(renamed kaveh laghmani; surname is of iranian origin, but i forgot the meaning)

another real quick note: if i change a character's pronouns in their rewrite, i'll be using those pronouns in their notes. here, kaveh goes by he/she pronouns (she just like me fr).

his canon design is actually my favorite of the sumeru boys, so this redesign was more of a simplification while still keeping the original color scheme and such.

from my research, kaveh's mainly inspired by persian/iranian culture. this is what i had in mind with her shirt and her jacket... shawl... thing. idk what to call it.

kept him a skinny twink; imo, her being a twink in canon fits pretty well.

emphasized the bird of paradise motif with the thing on her side looking like feathers. you will see this again with alhaitham.

made him brunet for more cohesion with the color palette, also because i don't like the whole blonde-fading-to-brown situation he has going on in his canon design.

flowers!!! also giving him a pretty headpiece bc this guy is flashy. also also keeping the feather, it's cunty and fun.

i wanted to make kaveh obviously gnc/genderqueer without going into full-on feminine outfit territory. you can tell she's not quite cis but it's not super in your face yk?

made his vision one of his earrings like yae miko because i forgot to give it a proper place in my concept drawings lmao

quality of life feature: actual artist gloves that aren't cut off. seriously, them being fingerless in the canon design completely negates the point of artist gloves.

removed his braids because of the aforementioned marriage headcanon.

alhaitham ⚘

(renamed amir al-haytham; i wanted to give him the most basic name possible, though i fought with myself a lot on whether to write it as al-haitham or al-haytham)

my god i despise his canon design. it's so... not him. my goal with a redesign was just to give him an outfit that made sense for his character because jesus his canon design is an atrocity.

alhaitham is mainly inspired by either saudi arabian or general west asian culture (like what's constant and such). i was mainly inspired by casual saudi arabian menswear when i was designing him.

hot take but i don't like alhaitham being buff in canon. i made him chubby/fat in my redesign mainly for self-indulgent reasons, but also because it makes more sense to me. also gave him facial hair because yes

kept his color scheme mostly the same, along with the eye motif. emphasized the eagle motif slightly with the feather hip piece (see: kaveh's redesign).

gave him a headscarf (not a hijab or anything like that, just a regular headscarf) because he felt like the type, plus i got the design idea for it and went "well i can't not include it now".

wanted to give him the vibes of an npc who was forced to be a main character

no he isn't wearing his vision anywhere, he doesn't carry it around in my rewrite.

quality of life features: more sensible, looser clothes that are easier to live in- really the whole design is meant to be a quality of life improvement first and foremost

cyno ⚡︎

(renamed cyno al-sahrawi; surname meaning is "of the sahara" or more generally, "of the desert")

like kaveh, i'm gonna be using he/they pronouns for cyno here because that's what i put in my rewrite.

in my opinion, cyno's design is relatively solid, but with a few glaring flaws that kinda ruin everything for me. i'll bring them up as these notes go on.

they're very obviously inspired by ancient egyptian culture, specifically anubis. like, it's very blatant. with my redesign, i wanted to keep those inspirations in mind while making the outfit less stereotypical and make more sense.

why does this man, who's said to fight a lot, not wear a shirt? why are you letting the place where most of your vital organs reside breathe freely? also, why does this guy not have scars?

simplified a bunch of patterns, especially below the belt and with his headpiece. also made their helmet(?) a darker, more saturated purple to attract your eyes' attention to it.

gave him eye of horus makeup for a little cultural nod

the black piece in the back was made to look like a tail to further the jackal thing.

curly hair that resembles lightning bolts <3

the shoes were inspired by traditional egyptian footwear, because if this guy is out in the desert all the time, i'm not letting him go without some kind of foot protection.

quality of life features: a bit of armor on his arm (partially for aesthetic purposes), less flowy bits on his helmet and hips to prevent distraction or getting caught on things, the aforementioned shoes

added braids for cynari purposes, because i'm me.

hope you enjoyed reading this! please keep in mind that this is all off the top of my head and doesn't even go into color theory, how the designs mirror each other, and other smaller things like that. i might make a part 2 someday going into those things, but who knows with my memory lmao

reblogs are heavily appreciated!

[aibouart]

admittedly, i am afraid to talk about this, but have wanted to for a long while. i don't see a lot of people discuss this kind of thing, but i decided to do so for the me who was struggling and didn't know. also i have no idea where i am going with this and it's very late for me rn so here's a whole ass ramble on vent art. and also a bit more on how it's impacting how i view my art, now. i am terribly sorry if it's not very cohesive, my thoughts on it aren't yet cohesive either WOOPS

i wanted to talk a bit about how vent art really impacted my mental health, and how the idea that art needs some kind of meaning to have meaning really has been weighing on me lately (i know this is a concept i am assigning to my work and is not actually the norm/standard expectation of others consuming art. but it IS a sentiment i have seen enough that does impact me).

i want to specify, obviously i am not saying vent art is bad.

nor that doing vent pieces, or vent blogs, will ultimately result in what i went through for a number of years. rather, that this did happen to me, and there is a near impossible chance i am a unique case in any experience i will ever have. if you do vent art and it helps you, that's good! im not judging anyone for anything here. if your experience does not match my own, that's what it's like to be human~. i am not invalidating anyone on purpose by sharing my own experience. sorry for the insane disclaimer but it will eat me alive if i go to sleep thinking "what if they think x cuz i didn't say y and think im a terrible person"

---

i used to do vent art frequently (you won't find much on here as it was uploaded to a personal at the time). anytime i felt down or had a line of dialogue in my head making me feel bad in a way, i would draw for it. but the way i had interacted with it was really unhealthy. it became a terrible feedback loop where i'd feel bad, draw how i felt bad, look at the art, and ruminate even more on how i felt bad, until it spiralled so out of control i would lose touch with reality and get lost entirely in feeling like garbage.

i would just get so lost in the cycle with vent art that it would make my mental space worse and worse, and i would use the vent art as a negative confirmation bias. the words that hurt me i wrote down and anytime i looked again, they would hurt me again. but i would keep looking, and i would keep drawing.

i have always used art as an outlet, but for some reason the way vent art impacted me was unhealthy. it wasn't a good outlet. and it took me years to cut ties with it. i relied on vent art for a long time, but it took a lot of introspection and thinking to realise it wasn't the release i thought it was. and it was hard to let go, too.

i haven't touched the blog in a few months, now. i haven't done much vent art at all since then and genuinely, i've been doing SOOO much better. i no longer ruminate nearly as much as i had done so, i no longer get caught in a feedback loop that lasts for days to weeks. i still feel like garbage like people tend to do, but i don't put myself in a cycle over it anymore. i have gone back to it a few times in moments of desperation, but what used to be every week/every few weeks is now once a month maybe. and not to the extent at all (i would oftentimes post ~20 images in one night, before).

but i keep thinking about how, while the way i had done vent art was bad for my mental health, i keep feeling that just because i do sparkly cute and happy drawings, now, or drawings with no real meaning, that my art has nothing beyond face value... i do like a lot of my vent art. i think their compositions, or hidden messages and meanings, or colour use, was interesting.

but it wasn't worth the price for me.

so i am a bit caught in an in-between, here. my favourite form of art is the expression of love-you liked something so much, you dedicated time to draw it. and yet i cannot ascribe that to my own work very often. i think that man i wish i could make art with some kind of deeper meaning, that speaks to people, that's more than just pretty colours or shiny shading or a character everyone likes, or a character i like. but i just... don't know if it's for me.

ultimately, i could develop a healthy relationship with expressing and exploring negative emotions or experiences through art, but... do i want to? do i have to? do i need to? is it not enough to just draw something because... i like it..?

of course, the answer is yes, draw what you want, draw how you want, it's your art. but i am still trying to come to terms with that idea. i dont want to be seen as some shallow artist who just draws what's cute and pretty because they can and it's all they can think of, but like what if that's just what i like to draw??

in the end, that alone is good enough, drawing because you like to, because it's fun, because you like the thing you're dedicating time to creating for. it's just hard to grapple with after discarding a type of art that i felt was the only way i drew "for real".

anyways i am sorry this is soooo fucking long, and for all the clarifications (IM STILL NOT SAYING VENT ART BAD AND EVERYONE WILL DO WHAT I DID!! Dx) and the fact i had no real point here (probably)

anyways i will continue to draw what i want because i like to, as i have always been.

[itsdappleagain]

tagged by @emily-prentits THANK YOUU THIS LOOKS SO FUN

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

18!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

141,974 words...which is a little embarassing considering jo, who tagged me, has 59 works and only about 30,000 more words. evidently i like my longfics.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

carmen sandiego 2019! 17 of those and one (1) original work that i dont mention in this post at all

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the cardinal and the kitten - 325 kudos

say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime (let me lead you from your solitude) - 164 kudos (we call her the phantom au for short)

simple are the ways of love (simple as the touch of another's hands) - 156 kudos

Upon the Sword - 154 kudos

Everything is a Lie - 127 kudos

5. do you respond to comments?

Most of them yes!! I LOVE getting comments I screenshot and save every one I get.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hm- I guess it depends. Hellscape ends with Carmen's internal monologue just before she gets mind-wiped by VILE, but its technically no angstier than canon. they gave you life (and in return you gave them hell) is pretty angsty the whole way through and examines Carmen's trauma.

Those are both little one-shots, though- I usually end my reigns of terror within chapter fics pretty happily if I can manage it. The Phantom AU (linked above) ends in a dark place but leagues brighter than it seemed to be heading towards. It isn't a terribly neat and happy ending, and it tells a story of trauma and attempted suicide and the road to recovery from these. Let's go with that one.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

In Love Is A Locked Cell Door Chase Devineaux and Crackle happily start making out in a jail cell and live happily ever after!

Ok, being serious-

For a one-shot, simple (linked above) starts happy and ends happier.

For a chapter fic, Choice ends with Carmen, Julia, and Gray all living in a very happy polycule pardoned from the law with full emotional control of their lives which is fun :]

8. do you get hate on fics?

@emily-prentits used to leave passive aggressive comments on my wattpad and we would fight in the comments sections 💀now we're partners so make of that what you will. but anyway, no serious ones, no!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

No, not really! I have a few "fade-to-blacks" or skip-overs without any detail. The one time I tried writing smut it was really forced and hard for me to write...doesn't help that I've never felt sexual attraction in my life so I don't know about that. Curse you asexuality for taking papertiger handcuff sex away from the world.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

No, I'm not a fan of crossovers

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had one or two...heavily referenced. Not in bad faith, but it was funny to see a lot of my plot and prose mannerisms reworded in a younger author's fic. I think they credited me as inspiration or gifted it to me both times so its not a big deal.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

If FRANTIC FANFIC! counts, which it shouldn't lol. Also the polycule is working on something :3

14. what's your all time favourite ship?

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have an au where paper star and black sheep escape VILE together and go through a sort of friends to lovers to enemies deal as carmen (renamed cardinal here due to never escaping in the boat the way she does in canon), though influenced by paper star at the start, eventually finds her inevitable path of good while paper star slips into a chaos that cardinal just can't stomach

ill paste a snippet here that i wrote but its a little bit long and complex and i dont have a ton of motivation for it

16. what are your writing strengths?

ABILITY TO MAKE READERS SUFFER

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

cohesive plot...lord help me i cannot plan a fic to the end before i post chapter 1 and it bites me in the ass all the time

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

if there's a small amount of it, i usually write it as-is in the other language and use external sources or context clues to explain it. if a lot of dialogue is in another language, I'll put it in brackets and write it in english!

19. first fandom you wrote for?

carmen sandiego. still going lmfao

20. favorite fic you've written?

that's really hard- i'm going to do top three in no particular order SORRY

Love, Carmen - this was the first or one of the first fics I ever wrote. it put me on the map a little bit (wattpad..) in terms of writing and boosted upon the sword and choice when they came along. it was really fun to just be young and writing after finishing all two released seasons of the show. i still like it a lot. its just cute and simple.

the phantom au - what a labor of love. i've had other fics (evil carlotta series, cough cough) that have been long and complex but those strayed into meandering and pointless and i lost a lot of motivation. phantom combined my love of theater with my favorite show and my hunger for angst angst angst. it was super fun to write and, at the risk of sounding vain, i pulled off a very hard to pull off trope at the end and i think i did it well. i think if you read any one of mine, this highlights a lot of my strengths.

the cardinal and the kitten - this is a popular one of mine that kind of serves as an updated love, carmen. i really enjoy how i wrote carmen and julia playing off of each other and my dialogue is very strong in this one.

okay, sorry about how long that was i treated it like a professional interview. i had a lot of fun writing this instead of working on a very important school project

[peculiarpeace]

ARTISTS IN THE CB FANDOM

Welcome to the bunker!

It's the end of the world, discord bots have Infiltrated every corner of technology, and now? They're turning on us. They've Infiltrated everything from banks to nukes, but one server from over 15 countries somehow got together- In three bunkers.

The CB fan server!

Now, it's your turn to make the art to save our spirits! Teams of each bunker will win different prizes, but only one will survive. Here's how the contest works!

1. You join the back up server we have going in the meantime, because yes, the CB fan server actually got hacked by bots and I'm trying to keep moral up

2. You go to "Sign Up" channel under Bunker Contest! and say something along the lines of, "I want to sign up." (DM me instead if you want to be a judge, I'm @notaluma)

3. I assign you all to three random teams, and every team gets assigned a private chat on the server, and a magma

4. Each team will be secretly assigned an opposing one, and each member assigned a secret opposing member of that team to draw! You cannot share with anyone but your team who your drawing, which means you don't know who's drawing you!

If you want yourself IRL to be drawn, there will be a channel to post pictures of yourself for whoever is drawing you. Otherwise, it will just be profile pictures.

Your own drawings of yourself work too, but people are welcome to do their own styles

5. Each team will receive a blank bunker background on magma, you will then plan out together where each drawing will go, and what they'll be doing. Example: "I want Maneater313 to be eating chips with ShakeItOnBabe in this spot."

6. You draw your person, onto the canvas as discussed.

7. Judging! Your team's final drawings will be ranked by each judge on a scale of one to five in three categories:

1. Fun-ness to look at and experience

2. Teamwork and Creative Flow/Cohesion

3. Creativity

8. I tell each team that died how they did. (Non-Graphic, pretty much all jokes)

All three teams will get a prize! For example, one of them is a fanfiction of at least 1.5k words by Me, about any team you want, yours or otherwise, down in the bunker or escaping. It can be fluff, angst, soul crushing horror, literally anything except smut, I have to write it. You can make anything happen it it too. It will be posted on Ao3 if your team wants!

Everyone has until 12:30 AM EST August 13th to join into the contest! Then we start!

Judges are still needed too :)

I hope to see you there, and good luck surviving the apocalypse!