#candice is just so fucking beautiful
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fastlikealambo · 2 years ago
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since the flash is over, I’d like to say that candice patton deserved a better fandom and I hope she gets every role she dreams of and the ones y’alls problematic faves are up for cause  a vast majority of yall treated candice patton and the character of iris west allen like hot garbage
she deserves a fabulous career after all the heavy lifting she had to do and all the nastiness she had to endure.
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raya-hunter01 · 1 year ago
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Will You Be My Lady? Pt. 2
One Shot! Finale
Jey Uso x Black Female OC! (Candice)
Roman x Black Female OC!
Jimmy x Trin
Rating: 18+
Warning: oral, fluff,Sex
Summary: Candice suffers from a painful past with the Tribal Chief Roman reigns. In the aftermath, Main Event Jey Uso is begging for a chance to show her all love and affection. Will Candice go back to her ex or will she allow Jey to show her love?
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She’s mine
The loving atmosphere in the club had me on edge and watching Candice singing her heart to of all people my cousin had me pissed off.
“Joe, I’m ready to go,” Sasha said as I groaned watching Jey walk backstage.
“Go, pay the bill, I gotta use the bathroom,” I said giving her my credit card. Getting up I followed the path Jey had gone but discreetly.
I slowly pulled the curtain back and felt my blood boil as I watched him and Candice.
“I can’t believe this shit,” I muttered totally caught off guard with the scene in front of me.
“You know I get what you sayin’ and all, it’s just gon’ be hard not to kiss you when I want to,” Jey said as Candice laughed against him.  She blushed, she used to be this way with me, and now she’s lovin’ up on my fucking cousin.
“Who said you couldn’t?” she said pulling away from him as Jey moaned at her words.  I’ll fuckin’ kill him…..
What the fuck is happening, I mean I know I fucked up, but we always found a way to work shit out.
“So, what you sayin’ beautiful?” Jey asked, leaning her up against the wall towering over her. I saw Candice looking at Jey like she was ready to fuck him right there as she pulled him closer standing on her tiptoes.
I held my breath waiting to hear her response.
“It means It depends on your answer to my question. Can I love you in slow motion Joshua?” she whispered against his lips as Jey took her in a passionate kiss.
I couldn’t take it anymore just as I was about to interrupt the love fest I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.
“Joe what are you doing?” Trin asked as I turned towards her having seen enough.
“Uh, nothing Sasha and I are about to head back to the room. I thought this was the bathroom but I was wrong,” I said trying to keep my face unbothered as she moved me to the side and peaked behind the curtain seeing Candice and Jey still in their own world kissing.
“Joe, let her be, she deserves to be happy. You’re with Sasha and god knows who else, why can’t she have someone,” Trin whispered as I growled….
“Not with him, Trin!” I hissed as she jumped slightly at the harsh tone of my voice. “Not with my fuckin’ cousin, I can’t let that shit slide,” I said angry more at myself than Jey if I was really honest with myself.
“Joe, she has a right to move on with her life. It’s been a year,” Trin said as I turned and began walking away from her. “She’s mine and I ain’t gon’ stand for the disrespect,” I said trying to get away as fast as I could from her nosey ass following me.
“Joe!…. Don’t do anything crazy!” Trin shouted as I waved her off storming past Jimmy completely ignoring him.
“Who the fuck, does he think he is?” I muttered seeing Sasha by the door. “Hey, what’s wrong baby,” she said trying to touch my arm as I snatched it away.
“Not now, let me take you back to the room. I ain’t in the mood tonight alright.” I said walking past her and putting on my coat.
“Well, what crawled up your ass,” she said as I turned giving her a murderous glare. “Look, you can either get in the car or you can stay here and find your own way back,” I said as she rolled her eyes.
“I know that girl Tiffany that you cheated on Candice with does everything you ask because she’s desperate, but I ain’t the one, Joe. She said as I sneered at her invading her space.
“Fine, stay yo’ ass here, and don’t call me again,” I hissed walking away from her.
“You gon' end up alone Joe because this Tribal Chief shit has gone to your head and has brought out the worst in you. What happened to you?!” She screamed as I continued walking away, ignoring her.
I didn’t need any damn lip from her, I’ll call Tiffany and get her ass back in rotation after I get Candice back where she belongs.
----
Trin’s POV
“Where the hell big Uce come from?” Jimmy said as I sat down beside him. “He was spying on Candice and Jey. Jurdy, he just saw them kissing,” I said totally worried now.
“Ah shit, well that ain’t good, warn Candice. I’ll try to get Uce alone,” Jimmy whispered as he pointed at Candice and Jey who were on their way back to the table.
“Hey bestie,” Candice said sitting beside me as Jey kissed her cheek. “I’ll get you a ginger ale,” he said as Jimmy looked at me. “Uh, I’ll go wit you Uce,” Jimmy said following Jey.
“What’s wrong with you? Candice said looking at me as I sighed. “Girl, Joe knows about you and Jey,” I blurted out all at once as she looked and shook her head. “Trin, I ain’t worried about Joe and what he knows. I’m with Jey and there’s nothing he can do about it,” Candice said as I hoped she was right and Joe would cool off and let her be.
Jimmy’s POV
What you gon do Uce i asked as Jey rolled his eyes at me.
"Well I’m glad he saw us, he shouldn’t have been nosey. I ain't hiding how I feel about Candice anymore," I said not caring that he knew.
I wasn’t going to hide Candice, she deserved the world and I was going to give it to her. "I want ya’ll both happy Uce. Just be careful, Jimmy said as we waited on the drinks.
"I'm always careful twin, I got this I," reassured him. Nothing Joe had going on was gonna spoil my night. I had my girl, my career, man everything was perfect right now and I was gon' enjoy it no matter who had a problem with it.
----------
Hilton Hotel
 Atlanta, Ga
Joe’s POV
“Hey, um I was wondering if you could help me?” I asked the desk clerk who seemed to be a fan as to how she was smiling all dreamy at me. Yes, this will be a piece of cake.
 “Sure how may I help you? she asked as I smiled at her turning on the charm. “Yes, I’m in room 541 and I somehow deactivated my key. I’ve been trying to call my wife to let me in but she seems to have fallen asleep” I said as she began typing.
“The room is in my wife’s name it’s Candice Jones,” I said giving her my ID. After a few minutes, my attempt at getting a key to her room was a bust.
 “Well unfortunately there Is nothing I can do for you Mr. Anoa’i. Especially since I see you also have a room in your name on the seventh floor. Also, your name isn’t listed as a guest in room 541 either,” the clerk said as I tried to remain friendly.
“Oh, yea my wife and I always book an extra room, almost like a decoy for fans sometimes. It’s hard for us to have privacy sometimes,” I said rolling the lie off my tongue hoping she would buy it.
“I’m so sorry you guys have to do that. It’s really sad but in order for me to give you a key to that room I would need your wife to come down and give permission for you to get a key. We also can do a wellness check with security if you would like,” she said as I frowned. No, I want the fucking key.
“Uh, that’s ok I’ll keep calling her. I’m sure she will open the door soon,” I said stalking towards the elevator. Damn it! I needed to see Candice, she can’t do this to me…Not with him…No.
-----
Hilton Hotel
Jey’s room
Candice’s POV
“Shit, let me open the door baby.” Jey moaned as I kissed and nibbled on my neck. “You been teasing me all night lookin’ sexy as fuck with all this red outfit on. I can’t control myself,” I groaned, gently biting his neck before swirling my tongue over the sensitive area as he growled.
“Fuck, well who am I to stop you? Damn, that feels so good, lose control baby,” he panted as I smirked against his throat.
“Mmm, you betta hurry up cause anybody walking by bout to see to me on my knees swallowing all dis' dick,” I moaned unsnapping his pants and sticking my hand inside caressing his dick.
 “Fuck, you wildn’, I love dat' shit,” Jey groaned as he finally got the door opened, ushering me inside.
“I want to taste you,” I whispered against his mouth taking him in a short deep kiss as Jey moaned, cradling my head as we explored each other’s mouths only pulling apart to catch our breaths.
“Are you sure? I know you wanted to wait, baby,” he said searching my eyes for apprehension as I smiled at him. “Take off your shirt,” I whispered pushing his pants and underwear down as he made quick work of his shirt throwing it across the room.
I felt my breath catch in my throat as I saw him in all his glory.  Growling Jey grasping my throat, attacking my mouth with his as I whimpered against him with need.
I wanted him so bad this whole waiting thing may have to wait. I needed him, especially with how put it down tonight earlier in that dressing room. I’ve been horny as fuck ever since.
I untied my wrap dress, pushing it off my shoulders, standing before him clad in my lacy bra and underwear set. Slowly I took them off giving Jey a show as he pulled me close to his chest.
His hands caressed my body as he looked at me with want and need.  “You so fuckin’ sexy, he moaned as I kissed him, caressing my tongue against his slowly as he growled with urgency as our tongues danced together as I pulled him closer.
“Shiiiit! I promised I wouldn’t rush you baby, but you makin’ it real fuckin’ hard Candice,” Jey panted as I smirked against his lips. Slowly pushing him against the wall, as I then kneeled before him.
“Mmhm, I see… It’s real hard Jey, I said seductively biting my lip as Jey looked at me in anticipation licking his lips.
Jey’s POV
“Shit, what you gon’ do about it, baby?” I moaned as she looked up at me innocently. Fuck that’s the most sexist shit I have ever seen.
“I’m gon’ give you what you been dreamin’ bout baby,” she moaned teasingly taking me in her mouth, gently grazing her teeth down my dick.
“Fuck, make my dreams come true and stop playin’ wit it. Suck dat' dick shit," I groaned as she took all my dick into her mouth slightly gagging. I then felt her throat relax around my dick.
“Ah fuck, you swallowed it all didn’t you baby,” hissed in shock looking down at her. “Mmhum,” she moaned as my hands went to the back of her head, her mouth vibrating on my dick making my whole body shiver as she worked me over. Damn, she knew what to do wit that sexy ass mouth.
“Got damn, that mouth, Ma,” I panted as her eyes meet mine as she continued to take me deeper and deeper.
“Yessss! Take it all in yo’ mouth baby fuck!,” I praised as she seemed to be on a mission now, sucking my dick greedily bobbing her head faster as I tried to not lose control and yank her ass up off the floor and fuck her against this wall.
 I could only see the top of her head as she was indeed giving me the best head I ever had steadily bobbing as I gasped trying to last as long as possible, but fuck her mouth felt so good.
“Look at me baby, I need to see you,” I gasped as she looked up at me. I almost came on the spot as her seductive bed eyes held me captive as she continued to please me.
I growled in gratitude seeing her this way, that slight arch in her back, her ample ass lookin’ like it was made perfectly for my hands.
Damn, dreams do come true if you wait patiently.
Candice’s POV
I have never wanted a man more than I wanted Jey right now. His eyes and moans tellin' the story of how good I’m making him feel. I can tell he was close.
I wanted him to know that I give as good as I get. He belongs to me now.
“I’m close, wait baby a second,” he moaned as ignored his pleas and began sucking him faster. “Damn, you tryin’ to make me cum ain't you? Shit, make me cum then, you can get all dis' nut baby, I faintly heard him whisper encouraging me as I continued to give him what I knew he needed.
Jey’s POV
“Here it come Candice,” I rasp cummin’ hard in her mouth, groaning as her mouth continued to milk me dry as I rubbed and caressed her back. “Fuck, I needed that," I moaned in satisfaction trying to catch my breath as my body relaxed.
“Are you ok baby?” Candice asked looking at me with a sly smirk, slowly standing up, swirling her tongue around her lips.  Groaning I closed my eyes. “I’m good…Yo', ass is deadly though,” I sighed as she laughed.
 “What are you talkin’ about, I just wanted to taste you and by the way you tasted yummy,” she purred innocently giving me a chaste kiss on the lips as I growled. “You playin’ a dangerous game,” I whispered deepening our kiss.
 “Mmm, I like playin’ dangerous when it’s with you,” she whispered as I smirked against her lips scooping her up and carrying her to bed. Yea, I could definitely get used to this.
Candice’s POV
I wanted him so bad but I said I wanted to wait but what was I waiting for exactly, we’ve known each other for years.
If it ended tomorrow, I would have no regrets and that was the honest truth. I felt safe with him and I knew he would protect me with everything within him and I really wanted him in this moment.
“Hey, where did you go beautiful?” Jey asked caressing my face as I blushed. “Just thinking is all,” I said looking at him smiling
"Aye, we ain’t gotta do nothin’ you don’t want to," he said reassuring me as I took his hand and placed it between my thighs as he groaned caressing my wet center.
"Does this feel like I'm not ready for you?" I moaned as he licked his lips, moaning at the words and the feel of my wet warmth soaking his hand.
“Damn you soakin' wet Candice, shit! Did I make you this wet baby?" Jey groaned in satisfaction never stopping his movements, rubbing my clit torturously slow.
 “Mmm, yes, you do this to me, It’s like I’m on fire,” I moaned not caring if it made me seem weak as we shared a breathless kiss as he overpowered all my senses. 
“Look at me Candice,” he commanded as I fought to open my eyes, the pleasure was too great and became more intense as our eyes met.
“I’m..I'm offering you me Candice, and you know what that is. I ain’t no Tribal chief, I’m just a man that loves you. A man who will spend forever showin’ you how special you are if you let me," he whispered as our foreheads touched.
I couldn't help but moan at his words and his skillful hands that were taking me to even newer heights of pleasure with each passing second.
I whimpered as he began thrusting one, then two fingers inside me as his thumb expertly circled my clit sending powerful tingles down my spine "Jey! Mmm, Oh my god!" I gasped as he silenced me with a kiss as I melted into him.
"Tell me what you want Candice?" Jey groaned as my heart leaped into my throat. Just say it Candice and take a chance.  
“What do you want baby?" Jey asked speeding up his movements as I pulled him closer.
"I want you," I whimpered against his lips as he closed his eyes groaning in satisfaction.
"I want everything that comes with it..... I want it all Josh," I moaned as I exploded in his arms.
"Baby, it’s right here, it’s always been Candice…All you gotta do is take it, baby," he whispered taking me in a passionate kiss, climbing between my legs as my orgasm continued to wash over me.
Jey’s POV
"I want you to make me yours," Candice moaned as I groaned, wrapping her legs around my waist. "Fuck, I’ve dreamed about this," I panted slowly entering her as we both gasped in shock and pleasure at the intense feeling of becoming one.
I stilled inside her as her tightness overwhelmed me as Candice grabbed my chain pulling me to her, claiming my lips in another kiss as I slowly began moving inside her.
"Fuck, you were made for me," I praised taking my time thrusting slow and steady inside her as I felt her tighten around my dick as Candice purred, her head thrown back in pleasure as I made her mine.
"Jey! Please, I need it she begged," as I growled taking her harder as she whimpered my name over and over.  "Who’s pussy is this Candice?" I moaned unwrapping her legs from around me, opening them wide as I went deeper inside her.
"Josh! Oh!  Baby! You know,"” Candice whined as I went even deeper. "Tell me, Candice," I demanded as she writhed in need below me.
"Yours! It’s yours Josh!" she screamed as I took us both over the edge. "Fuck yea it’s mine, and don't you forget dat' shit either," I groaned as she showered my dick with her essence.
"I love you so much," she moaned as I felt my heart swell, she loved me back.  
"I love you too baby," I whispered kissing her gently. All my waiting hadn’t been in vain. That alone made my dick hard as a rock again as I began thrusting inside her again as she gasped in surprise.
"Are you serious? Already?" She moaned against my mouth as I smirked. "Oh, Yea… you got me addicted to you Candice," I moaned as she clawed at my back.
I could faintly hear someone knocking on the wall. I guess we were too loud, but I’m sorry they are in for a long night just like Candice is.
----
Next door
Joe's Room
Joe’s POV
I guess I’ll try to talk to Candice later, that shit at the front desk was a bust. How could I get through to her and make her leave Jey.  
My thoughts were interrupted as I heard knocking on the wall and a woman moaning in pleasure.
Are you serious right now, I’m trying to damn sleep. I hit the wall giving my own message back to shut the fuck up but the headboard hitting against the wall didn't stop, hell it started banging harder on the wall.
"Damn, least somebody gettin' dick down good, I guess," I muttered as I heard the woman’s moan again....
"Wait…I know it isn’t," I muttered as I got out of bed and placed my ear to the wall waiting to hear the voice again.
I knew that moan anywhere…."Candice," I muttered as I could hear her clear as day.
"Jey! Oh, fuck you so deep!” Candice screamed as I jumped back from the wall in horror. "Yea, I'ma go deeper up in this pussy, fuck! Jey moaned.
"You got to fuckin' kidding me!" I hissed, putting my shirt, sweats, and shoes back on. I grabbed my keys, and phone before storming out of the room.
I couldn't stay there knowing what was goin' on next door to me.
I can't believe she let him have her....She was really having sex with Jey. The elevator ride to the next floor was torturously slow but I knew I needed a distraction to block out what I had just heard and Sasha definitely would do for now.
"Sasha open the door!" I shouted banging on her door. "Come on open up, I need some relief," I muttered to myself as she groggily opened the door.
"What do you want Joe?" she asked wiping the sleep from her eyes. "I want you," I said grabbing her in a rough kiss, leading her back into her room slamming the door behind me.
---
Jey’s Room
Candice’s POV
“Yeaa, bend dat ass over and lock them legs behind mine,” Jey ordered as he continued to fuck me with long, hard deep thrusts as I angled my body on the bed arching my back.
 “Oh! Yes, you deep in it! Oh my god!” I moaned as I heard Jey chuckle but quickly gasped as my pussy painful tightened around his dick. “Got damn, ma,” he panted keeping up his thrusts. 
“Yea, this pussy feels good don’t it," I taunted as Jey growled. "Shit yea, it do," he moaned. “Then don’t play wit it Jey, fuck me! We can go slow later, I promise,” I groaned throwing my ass back on his dick as he growled smacking me hard on the ass as I whimpered feeling the constant tingles exploding all over my body.
"I been waiting on you for years girl, I’ma enjoy this. Dat ass looks so fuckin good bouncin’ on my dick. You like how I’m dickin’ you down don’t you baby,” he moaned as I gasped trying to find the words.
 “Yes! I love it!” I exclaimed, with no shame. Shit, my man knew how to use his magic stick and that monster was all I imagined it to be and then some.
“Uh-huh, I can tell baby…You backed up that shit you was talkin’ out in the hall,” he groans. “You swallowed this dick and now you takin’ it all like the good girl you are.” he praised, grunting as we chased our next orgasm together.
“I’m your good girl, only your good girl,” I panted as I felt him slowing down as he growled. "Yea, you my good girl and only mine," his deep sexy voice confessed as I clawed at the sheets. What was he doing to me?
Jey’s POV
“Yea, dats it right there,” I groaned gripping Candice’s hip, pulling almost all the way out before snapping my hips hard bringing her down even harder on my dick. “Jey! Fuck!” she screamed. “Uh huh feels good don’t it baby?” I moaned watching my dick disappear inside her pussy as it pulsated around me.
“Yes, Jey, shit you..I…I,” she screamed grabbing the headboard for leverage as she continued to throw that beautiful ass back on my dick unable to finish her sentence.
“I know it, baby, I'ma take care of you, I promise,” I groaned feeling myself not very far behind her. “Jey….Jey… Oh, baby… Jey,” she moaned almost chanting, clawing at the headboard as my resolve snapped and I began taking her fast and deep again.
Candice’s POV
Oh, my God, my legs are jelly and he feels so good. I was so close when suddenly I found myself on my back with Jey towering over me.
 “I need something from you,” he moaned entering me again as I gasped wrapping my thighs around him, pulling his closer.
“What baby?" I asked gasping as he gently kissed me, "Tell me your mine," he I commanded as I smiled against his lips.
"I’m yours," I moaned as I felt myself about to come undone in his arms again. "I’m yours too shit, promise you never leavin' me,” he groaned as he continued to stake his claim.
"I won’t, I promise,” I moaned as our eyes never left each other. Everything seemed to become more intense by the second as I met his thrusts with anticipation
“Oh my god!” I gasped as he swallowed my screams with his mouth as I came hard.
“Good girl, you did so good baby, Jey praised me as bit my lip in anticipation of his release and still feeling euphoric from my own.
“Are you gonna cum for me?”  I gasped as I felt him getting harder by the second as he took me with wild abandon.
“Hell yea, I’m bout to give it all to you,” Jey moaned as I licked my lips “Mmm, I want you to cum in my mouth this time baby,” I begged as Jey growled at my words, biting his lip. “You do baby?” he gasped in shock as I nodded.
“I want every last drop,” I panted as he, quickly pulled out, leaning over, shoving his pulsating dick in my welcoming mouth.
“Ah fuck!" He shouted cummin’ hard as I moaned at the feel of his warm essence coating my mouth. Sweat fell from his brow as he tried to catch his breath. As his body relaxed, he pulled out of my mouth. “Ooouu shit, That was hot as fuck he praise as I smiled tiredly at him.
"Come on and let daddy see did you get it all baby," he whispered as I opened my mouth, releasing my tongue so he could see his essence on it.
As he watched me closely with hunger in his eyes, I closed my mouth and swallowed it as he grabbed my throat taking me in a possessive kiss.
“You gon’ end up barefoot and pregnant, you keep doin’ that shit, he growled against my lips as I laughed shaking my head at his words because knowing him it was true.
"Any regrets?" I asked as he pulled me close. "Hell nawl girl, you stuck wit my ass now," he said as I smiled at him. "You stuck with me too," I whispered settling into his arms as we finally found rest.
------
Smackdown
Candice’s POV
“Thank you so much so helping us out tonight with the photoshoots. This damn flu is getting everybody. But if I could I had one more favor to ask you,” Paul said releasing me from his embrace. 
“You know you good boss, and that I don’t mind helping. Jey was already scheduled for the show, so I was going to be here anyway,” I said as he smiled at me.
 “Yea, I heard about the new development, and good for ya’ll.  You both deserve some happiness,” he said as I blushed.
“So uh, what else did you need me to do?” I asked trying to change the subject.
“Oh! yeah, could you sing the National Anthem tonight? Samantha is sick so Braxton is going to announce for us tonight, but he sings like a dying cat,” he said as I laughed.
“Sure, no problem, I would love to,” I said as he sighed in relief.
“Thank you so much, now I gotta make sure these cameras are ready to go for the show,” he said looking at his paper quickly before rushing off, waving at Jey who was walking up.
“Hey, you! What they got you doin’ tonight?” I asked as Jey frowned. I’ma open the show and introduce Cody. Joe gon’ come out talking about why are we on his show, and exchange a few words, he said as I could see the internal battle he was having.
“Are you ok with that baby? I asked as he sighed, taking me in his arms. “I’m ok baby, and I don’t want you to worry yo' pretty lil head bout me. Joe and I both know how to keep business and personal separate,” Jey said gently caressing my chin.
"I sure hope so," I said as he gave me a chaste kiss on the forehead as I relaxed in his arms. Hopefully, Joe could remain professional, and the program would go smoothly. 
---
Smackdown
Jey’s POV
Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for our National anthem Byron Saxton said as the house lights shined brightly on Candice as she began to sing.  
Standing there in Gorilla I couldn’t help but beam wit pride watching her in her element. My baby was truly talented, and the crowd was eating it up.
“She got them in the palm of her hand. I always knew she belonged on somebody’s stage; I’ve always told her that,” Joe said walking up to me to get a better view of the TV. “Yea, she really does, I’m proud of her,” I said not looking away from the TV.
 I don’t know the real reason for this small talk all of a sudden but I just hope he keeps this shit professional out there.
“Well let’s go tear it down out there lil Jey,” Joe said as I watched Candice wave to the crowd before she left the ring to go stand beside Saxton.
 Turning to look at Joe I scoffed at his attempt to get me off my game. “A’ight big Uce, I’m down, but if you go out there wit that lil Jey shit we gon’ have a problem,” said as he smiled at me.
“Well, why is that? You call yourself standin’ up to me now? Oh, i get it Candice got you feeling yourself, huh," he asked smirking at me.
 “Nah, Uce, I just ain’t the same scared lil Jey from when we was kids, and if you go out here throwing shots. I’ma get you…You feel me, I don't give a damn if this is a live show. I will rock yo’ shit, you understand,” I said watching the smile drop from Joe’s face.  
"Yea, I got you, Candice is off limits because this is about business," Joe said as I gave him a leary stare before walking away to go further to the curtain to get ready for my entrance.
I didn’t trust his ass as far as I could throw him. "Go kill it Uce, and keep your head in the game," Cody said as I dapped him up. "Thanks, see you out there, Uce," I said smiling as I heard the crowd as Saxton began to introduce me.
Candice’s POV
"Main Event Jey Usooo! Byron screamed as Jey’s music dropped and the crowd went nuts. Damn, there he goes I couldn’t help but feel a tingle down my spine watching my boyfriend. His ass knows what he be doin’ the guys are hyped and the girl’s panties are wet as fuck.
“Damn baby I see you," I muttered watching him bounce his body in excitement coming down the aisle. This was my first time watching his entrance live with the crowd and it was something to behold.
The crowd sang and bounced their arms in the air along with him. I was so proud of him; he really had made it. He came over to the ropes as Saxton gave him the extra microphone.
 I smiled at him as he winked at me before returning to the center of the ring. Damn it now I’m blushing. Get it together girl.
I hope the camera didn’t pick that up. That’s all we need is a post from fans asking who was Jey Uso winking at.
Before he could even start talking and introduce Cody, Joe’s music interrupted him. “What the hell? He was supposed to wait until Jey was about to introduce Cody and not run his ass out her before Jey could even speak,” I whispered to Braxton having a bad feeling as he shrugged his shoulders.
“Maybe they changed it," Saxton said as I turned to look at Jey. He was not amused as Joe made his way to the ring flexing with the title around his waist.
He spotted me as he climbed in the ring and ever so slyly, he licked his lips and smirked at me as Jey’s head snapped in my direction angry as I shook my head at Joe’s antics.
I looked at Jey and gave him a nod, encouraging him to keep his cool. He sighed, turning back to face Joe running his fingers over his face.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s a tense scene as this is the first time since Jey Uso quit smackdown that he has seen his cousin Roman reigns I heard Cole say.
“You can go behind me through the crowd and go to the back without anyone seeing you if you want,” Saxton whispered as I nodded but couldn’t move from the spot, I was stuck in.
Joe’s POV
“Lil Jey, what you doin’ on my show?” I asked knowing I was getting under Jey’s skin as I saw his jaw twitch. “I mean you quit! Cody got you signed to Raw. So why are you at my show lil Jey? I asked smugly.
 “Aye, I got a tag match tonight with Cody, I ain’t sweatin’ you Uce and It ain’t gon’ be too many more lil Jey’s a’ight,” Jey said rocking back in forth trying to control his temper.
“You always wanted to be me. When we were kids, I beat your ass in everything. Even now you still want to be me don’t you lil Jey? I asked as Jey frowned.
“Man, ain’t nobody tryin’ to be you Uce, I’m my own man,” Jey said frustrated as I laughed.
 “Nah, even to this day you always wondered if you measure up to the Tribal Chief.  You just seem drawn to things that you can’t have..That I won’t let you have,” I gloated laughing caressing my title as I saw the realization wash over Jey’s face.
He knew I was talking about Candice and I wanted him to know.
“Aye! What did I tell you?  Watch yo’ mouth before we have a problem," Jey said angrily pointing at me as I laughed.
 “Maybe I want a problem lil Jey, because it seems you just like takin’ things of mine that don’t belong to you. My precious, beautiful luscious things,” I said gently bouncing my title up and down on my waist my eyes slowly traveled to Candice.
Her eyes pleaded with me to stop as I could tell she was uncomfortable, but all things were fair in love and war.
Jey’s POV
This motherfucka lookin’ at Candice trying to be slick wit his lil words. If hints about her one more time, damn this show and staying in character, I’ma fuck him up. She’s mine now, not his.
Dropping my microphone low so nobody could hear, I leaned over and put my hand behind Joe’s neck, as he wore a frown almost outdone I lowered my microphone.
“I ain’t doin’ this bullshit wit you out here, But I promise you If you say her name out here in front of all these people, I’ma get you Uce..You gon’ have to see me,” I said deathly calm as Joe’s face contorted in anger mouthin’ words I couldn’t understand but I didn’t care.
“Now get back on script so I can go my way and you go yours, wit yo’ miserable ass,” I said wanting to finish the segment and leave.  
Candice’s POV
I can only imagine what Jey said to Joe as things were getting more tense by the second.
“You think you a big man, huh, Lil Jey? You can’t compare to me…This is all mine cause I’m the champ, I run this show! Joe exclaimed in the microphone gesturing to the arena.
This is my camera!” he yelled talking into the camera. Thank God they seem to be back on track with their segment. This had truly been a trainwreck thanks to Joe who was now at the commentator’s table.
“I own these commentators that talk about me and nobody else!” Joe yelled pointing at Cole and Wade before he slowly began walking toward Saxton and I.
“Aye, watch it,” Jey said seeing Joe coming towards us.
“I even own the ring announcer! I’m trying to get you to understand Jey everything belongs to me, and you can’t have it!” he said in his commanding deep voice almost making me jump.
I saw Jey getting out of the ring, heading towards us as I froze.
Joe now stood in front of me almost as if he was contemplating what to say as he bit his lip looking me over. Joe wouldn’t put me out here like that in front of all these people.
He knows how private I am about my personal life. He isn’t going to do this to me, he just wants to rile up Jey.
 “Candice…… Aulelei, how bout you tell lil Jey how I own every inch of you,” Joe bragged smirking at me as I slapped him before I could stop myself.
“You son of a bitch, I can’t believe you did this!” I shouted as Jey grabbed Joe’s arm, turning him around, punching him in the face.
Joe almost collided with me from the force of Jey’s punch. Thank god Saxton was fast-moving and moved me out of the way.
 “I told yo’ ass not to say her name!” I could hear Jey yell as they traded blows. “Somebody stop them!” I yelled as Paul Heyman came over to me offering a comforting arm. “Let’em fight it out sweetheart it was bound to happen,” he said as I groaned in frustration.
I didn’t want Jey to get in trouble because of me.  As they brawled back and forth backstage officials ran from the back.
The crowd was eating it up thinking it was part of the show.  “Let’s get you outta here, ok,” Heyman said gently guiding me behind Saxton as we made our way through the crowd to the backstage area.
Jey’s POV
“Jey, that’s enough!” an official yelled as I threw Joe onto the announcer’s table and pounced, punching him over and over as I felt someone lift me off of him.
“Aye, let me go!" I yelled as Joe charged towards me as we fell threw the ringside guardrail trading blows. "I’ll kill you!” Joe roared. “We need more help!” another official yelled as I felt like an untamed animal trying to tear apart my cousin.
You gon’ learn today, stop fuckin’ wit people.
Joe’s POV
“This shit ain’t over!" I yelled as Jey, and I were trying to tear each other apart.
“You damn right it ain’t cause every time you disrespect Candice, I’ma beat yo’ ass again!” Jey yelled as he got the last lick, kicking me in the face as security lifted us both up off the floor separating us.  
Jey held his hands up in surrender as security grabbed his arms leading him backstage. “Damn, his lil ass can hit hard,” I muttered regaining my bearing and grabbing my title as the crowd booed me.
“Shut up!” I hissed heading to the back wiping the blood from my mouth as several officials walked back with me.  
Candice’s POV
The backstage area was even more chaotic as a group security and officials were leading Jey backstage.
“What the fuck ya’ll all on me for! He been askin’ for this ass whoopin’!" Jey shouted pulling away from security.
“Calm down Jey, this ain’t helping, go check on Candice” Heyman said which seemed to snap Jey outta his rage as he came towards me. "I’m so sorry baby," he whispered taking me into his arms as I felt relieved he was ok.
“I’ll beat yo ass Jey that was so unprofessional! Joe yelled coming into Gorilla as I rolled my eyes at him trying to pass the blame like he didn’t do shit.
 “Unprofessional, are you serious? They shoulda’ let Jey whoop your ass some more because you deserve it with that shit you just pulled!” I hissed mad as hell as Paul stood up from the monitors and I could tell he wasn’t happy either.  
“Joe, in my office Now!” Paul shouted as Jey grabbed my hand as we stood side by side waiting to hear what our boss was going to say next.
“Candice I’m really sorry about all this, Jey take her back to her office, I'll handle this,” He said as Jey nodded before leading me away from the chaos.
Joe’s POV
“What the fuck do you need to talk to me about?" I asked shaking my mouth, tryin' to loosen up my jaw as I could feel Paul’s anger spilling off of him in droves.
“I need to see if I’m going to have you as world champion on this show, or if I’m going to vacate your title for that shit you just pulled out there with Candice and Jey,” he said his voice booming angrily throughout the small space.
“I’m sorry boss, I don’t know what came over me,” I said trying to smooth things over as he looked at me not buying what I was selling.
“No your not, my show is in the shitter tonight because of your selfishness. Candice feels violated, Jey’s pissed off , and I don’t blame him quite frankly.
“It wasn’t my intention boss, I just got carried away,” I said honestly wiping the last bit of blood from my mouth.
I knew I was going to have a black eye in the morning with how It was hurting but my pride was hurting worse.  
 “Because of the shit you pulled Cole is out there having to explain to the audience and the people at home how that wasn’t a part of the show and to respect everyone’s privacy at this time even though you brought them into ya’ll business Paul hissed.
Your right, that’s not how we handle business,” I said as he interrupted me.
“You jeopardized this show and put Candice in a situation she didn’t ask for. You damn right that ain’t how we handle business or what we stand for, so for the moment you’re suspended. Now get outta my building,” Paul growled walking off as I sighed looking around at the crowd that had formed looking at me in shock.
Damn, what is wrong with me...
Jey’s POV
“I’m ok Candice,” I said trying to reassure her as she looked me over. “I don’t want you to have to go through this type of shit because of me Jey, “she said trying to keep her tears at bay.
"Aye, don’t cry baby, I’m good, and it’s not because of you. This all on Joe,” I said taking her in my arms as she held on to me tight.
“This should have never happened,” she whispered as I comforted her.
I knew in my heart this blow-up was bound to happen wit Joe and in a way, I’m kinda glad it did.
Tonight, he found out I ain’t no punk and I fight for what’s mine. I don’t think he will be a problem anymore.
“I’ma talk to bossman right quick, then come back and watch you do your thing ok?” I said making her smile as I kissed her gently.
" I’ll be here waiting," she whispered letting me go as I opened the door, I came face to face with Joe.
“What you doin' here? What, you wanna go again?” I asked as Joe shook his head. "Nah, I come in peace," he said, sighing I allowed him inside, as I went to stand beside Candice.
“I just wanted to apologize to you both and tell you I’ve been suspended. I thought you should hear it from me,” he said as I looked at him really not knowing how to feel.
The silence became defining as I tried to find the right words to say
. “Joe, maybe the time off can help you clear your mind, and get stuff straight. All this stuff you’ve been doing isn’t you, and you better than this,” Candice said holding my hand as Joe glanced down at our intertwined hands and sighed.
“You really love her don’t you Jey?” He asked as I looked at Candice, then back at him.
“I always loved her, you know that Uce,” I said honestly as rubbed his hand over his face. He was fighting an internal battle I couldn’t help him with.
He had to let her go, she wasn't his anymore.
 “Are you in love with Jey, Candice?” Joe asked as I felt her grip tighten on my hand. “Yes, I am in love with Jey,” she answered without hesitation her eyes firmly on me as I kissed her hand.
“Well, I guess that’s it, huh," Joe said as Candice looked at him in confusion.
"Uh, Jey, take care of her, she's very special. And if you don’t,” Joe started as I interrupted him, “I’ll be expectin’ you Big Uce,” I said as he nodded and left without another word.
“Did he just do what I think he did?" I asked Candice as she seemed to not be believing what had just happened either.
“I guess only time will tell,” she whispered as Finn Balor walked in.
“Candice are you ready for me? he asked with a smile as she waved him further into the room.
“Yes, I’m ready, if you can stand over there we can get started,” she said giving my hand a final squeeze before going to pick up her camera.
 “Alright Finn let’s work,” she said laughing as he flashed her a goofy grin and began posing. I loved watching her work, but my mind was still on Joe…
I mean was it over and done like that or did he have something else up his sleeve?
I guess Candice is right only time will tell. But for now, I had my lady and that was all that mattered.
Taglist: @reci24 @southerngirl41 @vebner37 @jeyusos-girl
@melaninsugababy @romanreignkisser @bebesobrielo
@arination99 @2-muchsauce @bakugoumarianawrites
@empressdede @alyyaanna @christinabae @anonandwannakeepitthatway @venusesworld @jeyusosgirl  @theninthwonder
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hyperactivewhore · 1 year ago
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Why do you think that many people tend to devalue Klaus’s relationship with Cami, Aurora, and even Hayley? Honestly, I think that out of all his love interests in the show, Klaus truly only loved Cami, Aurora, and Hayley. Cami understood Klaus very well, and she loved him despite all his flaws. Cami encouraged him to become a better person for Hope. And when Klaus was imprisoned, the person he imagined was Cami.
Klaus was hung up on Aurora for centuries. He painted her constantly. While he loved Cami, he definitely also loved Aurora. He’s the type of person that falls in love forever. And while this is a super unpopular opinion, I think that if he was alive during Legacies, he would’ve ended up with Aurora.
Hayley wasn’t really a love interest and I don’t think Klaus loved her romantically - but he totally loved her platonically. She was his best friend. He truly valued her as a person and respected her so much.
Say what you want about Klaus, but he had excellent taste in romantic partners. All his lovers, including Caroline, are beautiful and amazing. And this is no hate to Caroline and Klaus shippers, but I really think that Klaus only loved Cami, Aurora, and Hayley. His feelings for Caroline are rather shallow when compared to his feelings for Cami, Aurora, and Hayley - so why do you think so many people ship Caroline and Klaus together?
Oh anon, I love talking about Klaus Mikaelson and his fucked up relationships.
Why people ship klaroline? Whenever I come across shippers of them, they always say it's because Klaus and Caroline had the biggest chemistry in all of tvdu. Which, in my opinion, is false. I personally think Caroline looks uncomfortable and pissed off with Klaus in half of their interactions, and their development is so bad done and weird so they just have him give her puppy eyes out of nowhere and have her laughing at his jokes when she hated him the episode before.
I think that a big part of why people ship klaroline is because Caroline was the first woman Klaus showed an romantic interest in in the series. We have Klaus who is the villain, who until the moment has been nothing but evil to everyone around him and out of nowhere he gets soft for her, so people lost their shit and started shipping them like crazy. Which mind you, is exactly like happened: Candice herself said klaroline just happened because the fans liked them.
But in my opinion it was just stupid. If they wanted Klaus to have any interest in Caroline, they should have built it better; the only explanation we get of his interest in her is nearly ten years later when Caroline says in The Originals she believes he only liked her because she reminded him of when he was human, innocent and young. And I kinda get this, because despite how much he goes on about being feared Klaus does love having people who say he can be saved, loved and etc.
The fact that the plot and timeline was often bended to their will is a turn off for many fans as well and it always pissed me off too because it didn't make sense and still doesn't. The biggest example I can think of right now is when Klaus sent her money for the Salvatore school: he was supposed to be trapped in Marcel's dungeon by then, but the timeline of these shows has never made any sense anyway. Or how in they inserted Klaus in every one of Caroline's scenes in The Originals; Daniel Gillies himself was upset by this, they even had to delete some of his scenes to fit hers in, which is a reason of why season five was so rushed and full of bad writing.
But honestly that's the main reason I can think of. Whenever I stumble across a klaroline ship the comments always are "their chemistry" or "they look so good together" and more things about the ship. I honestly think klaroline wouldn't have blew up the way it did if it had been done these last years, but many of the plots that there are in tvd wouldn't have made it to the screen if it had been streaming this year.
I fully agree with his other ships. Canonically Klaus just loved romantically three women: Tatia, Aurora and Camille. However, I don't really think he was in love with Tatia, just infatuated. He's not as affected by her as Elijah is, but once Klaus loves you or he takes a serious romantic interest in someone he really never forgets about them: Camille and Aurora are the biggest proof of this.
Losing Aurora really took a toll on him and shaped him to be the character we know and people often brush over this because they don't like Aurora/for shipping reasons. I think she's his most interesting romantic relationship, and they're my favorite tvdu ship. It's kinda canon he loved her more than any of his other love interests and don't get me wrong, I love Klaus and Camille but in my opinion Klaus always forgot about her whenever Aurora was around which just pissed me off.
If Cami had remained dead by the time Legacies took place, I do believe Klaus and her would have gotten back together. To me, Aurora was never truly evil and I think they should have handled her character better, but Klaus understood her even after everything she did to him and viceversa, and their chemistry is just so perfect and they had sexual tension in every one of their interactions. But if Cami had been alive, I honestly think Klaus would have remained with her.
Everyone who follows me knows I believe Klaus loved Aurora romantically the most, but by the time Legacies takes place Klaus would probably adore Cami a lot more than it's already shown in canon and perhaps they would even be married, and she was good for him and his family. In the modern day, Aurora wasn't good for him or his family at all (she was literally trying to kill Hope) and in general, she needed to work on herself, to try to let go of Tristan's abuse before getting into a relationship with the man whose family is responsible for her fucked up mental health.
However, I do think Hope would stop her family if they tried to kill Aurora, she's really empathetic in these kind of things and they had a slight respect for each other by the time Aurora died. Klaus and her would probably talk, perhaps she would even have a conversation with Camille before leaving to live her best life which it's what should have happened in canon. Hayley would probably thank her for saving her daughter too, and I think they - by this I mean the whole Mikaelson family - would agree to try to not kill each other again, but who knows with them?
I love Klaus and Hayley together. Whether people ship them romantically or not isn't important to me, I can see their potential and though I personally think they wouldn't work, I can understand why other people do. I really like how often she stands up to him whenever she feels he's getting too cocky, or when it comes to their daughter. I love how much their relationship developed in the last three seasons and how gutted he was after her death, he didn't just love her for being his mother's daughter but for being his best friend and family. It was beautiful for me to see how much Hayley fought for him and never gave up, they deserved to raise their daughter together or at least, Hope deserved it.
And I honestly agree: he has amazing taste. I would get with any of these girls in an instant, they're all beautiful.
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cancerian-woman · 1 year ago
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I’m in a petty mood so :P
if Bonnie wasn’t the most disrespected character of tvd then maybe…idk there wouldn’t be videos, books, articles online that has to thoroughly explain this topic repeatedly with detailed evidence. Then you fans that claim Bonnie didn’t suffer the way other characters did or it wasn’t as bad only have that argument because you let your hatred for Bonnie cloud anything else. Pull up a video that explains how badly Caroline and Elena was treated that lines up with Bonnie’s. Like I said before NOBODY has ever said Elena and Caroline didn’t struggle that would be false but their struggles will never align with how the MAIN black woman was treated for 8 years.
Yall be upset over characters like Katherine, Vicki, Caroline, Elena etc etc. when Julie never went on Twitter tangents about her disdain for that character or actress , never bashed or nitpicked at those fanbases. Caroline Dries never intentionally talked over Candice, or Nina in interviews because they had ideas. Candice was so loudly loved that not only was her character placed with nearly every male, but they written in her pregnancy for Caroline connecting her to 2 more shows. Nina got to do more scenes as Katherine.
There’s plenty of other things but Kat could give yall losers a PowerPoint presentation detailing about how she was sidelined from Bonnie’s sexuality, repeatedly making remarks about how often Bonnie’s sacrificed and gets nothing, the relationships, and even her wardrobe. On top of continuously mentioning how she felt like they didn’t want her there. She’s even said directly she thinks there wouldn’t have been problems had she been white. I mean look at the white witches… The series will never let us forget how beautiful they found the other women yet NEVER gave Bonnie those compliments and moments to just be beautiful in a gown. Mystic Falls had a dance every damn moment yet how many of those was Bonnie enjoying herself? She couldn’t even win prom queen without that being taken from her. “She’s always had good friends…” what? The friends that didn’t notice she was dead for months and only wanted her back because they needed her magic? The friends that don’t check up on her at all period until they want her magic? “Her family loves her” oh you mean the Grams they referred to as an alcoholic in s1? The father who worked soo much but clearly never wanted to stay. You mean Abby the woman that loved Elena and herself more than she loved Bonnie? Wait, no no you mean Lucy the woman who said she’d see Bonnie again and dies offscreen? Or all of the lovely WOC we never get to see…
Yall really be talking out your ass. The fans that claim “people make it so hard to love all three!” because of these metas ONLY have these issues when Bonnie fans want to speak and cater towards Bonnie first. Dont follow Bonnie fans if you’re going to get mad everytime they speak about Bonnie. I don’t fucking get that at all. WHY go out your way to follow someone and you know you don’t want to read anything they have to say. Not smart but whatever.
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evilyn-is-gay · 6 months ago
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Anyone want some cute/funny ass headcanons in my TSAMS Reality (reality shifting)?
Cuz here you go
Dazzle:
- I play with them and Jack, we’re like a legion of chaotic children (I keep them in check)
- We sometimes snuggle
- They taught me how to do a turnsie!
- They like pets (like on their head)
- They love it when I draw them (we have little drawing sessions, they have a really charming chibi style that a child would use)
- Sometimes steals my Therian tail and runs around with it
- I keep all the drawings they give me
Sun:
- Pansexual but is so fucking oblivious (EXAMPLE: Sun: Oh he has a neat design. Moon: … why are your fans whirring louder- Sun: What do you mean? Moon: It’s obvious you’re attra- Sun: Dramatic gasp and the whirring gets louder as his face heats up WHAAT??? NOOOO)
- Sits in the closet in his room to be covered in plushies when he needs to calm down
- Big squishy and plushie collection (Lets everyone borrow)
Moon:
- Aro/ace but MIGHT like men a little
- Bro listens to music to cope (me too bro 😔)
- Hyper fixated on science (and has since he discovered it while conjoined with Sun in the first year)
- Has a huge collection of fidget toys
- Sometimes he’s trying to explain something but he says it in his head or just says gibberish thinking we understand
- Has fictional ‘crushes’ but it’s just like ‘yo he’s hot I think’ and Sun goes ‘… what’
- Whenever he’s mad he walks into his room (or any room with a pillow/blanket) and screams into it and just comes back out like nothing happened (If he didn’t he would actually explode and start to stim aggressively) (EDIT: I love that this is canon now)
- Did actually enjoy having a tail as a furry but would never say it aloud
- Listens to that one song that used to play for intros to sleep
- His pupils get bigger when he’s excited like a cat (same with the opposite)
Lunar:
- His hyperfixation on bean bags is fading away and he desperately needs a new one (I want to get him to read fanfic)
- His hyperfixations over time are: Bean bags, plushies, LOL dolls, Trolls, Stars, Astrology, creepy pasta, cooking, art, phobias, Baldi’s basics, slime, and ASMR
- Listens to ASMR videos as he charges
- Forgets that not everyone is an animatronic sometimes and says things to kids that don’t make sense
- Will infodump about the weirdest shit (Last night i dreamed i was a bottle of ketchup ass shit)
- Steals my clothes and wears them around the house when he washes his (he just wears my sweaters and those donut pants I have)
- Even when he isn’t washing his clothes he sometimes wears my huge purple sweater thing
- His favorite types of ASMR are wood soups, slimes, and ones that ask questions like an interview
Earth:
- When in distress she floofs up her hair too much and it sticks out weird
- Has HUGE plushies she snuggles
- Has a habit of sticking her face into things that look soft
- loves stardew valley, Animal Crossing, and those Roblox games that are really aesthetically pleasing
- Mental disorders are her special interest/hyper fixation and she spouts it to me
- Her Roblox character is stunning and looks beautiful, she worked on it for a while
- Plays along with ASMR Roleplays
- Tingle immune 😔
- Talks to a Monty plushie when she’s upset, another coping mechanism she picked up
Solar:
- Doesn’t understand some pop culture references due to being isolated by his Moon
- Finds this universe Monty as a significant upgrade to his
- Draws himself as a human
- Amazing at art like holy shit (style is sorta like all the thumbnail artists mixed together)
- Has Aphantasia (BECAUSE I DO AND I NEED REP)
- This has happened → Moon: Hey Solar, have you seen Candice? | Solar: … Who’s Candice..? | Sun: MOON NO. | Moon: CANDICE DI- (Solar slapped him in the face afterwards)
Bloodmoon:
- has been high (I will not elaborate)
Castor:
- “Lunar, what’s a ‘skibidi rizz’?” *COMPLETELY DEADPAN AND MONOTONE*
There’s other characters but these are fun/cute ones 😭😭😭
I know these aren’t canon (a lot of the stuff in general in these aren’t canon and have been debunked) but I don’t care and they’re still part of this so fuck you
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talkingtea · 3 months ago
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Omg, so I've been keeping up with the Woodhalls, and I didn't know the husband was competing in the Paralympics! He just won gold. So fuck that gremlin that was talking shit with his hating ass. They actually have true love. The way they support each other is so beautiful to watch. And Candice is a dumbass for being with him. I hate that I was ever a fan of hers. Such a disappointment.
Yeah, it’s funny that he has nothing to say now that Hunter’s wife is supporting him and they’re getting tons of press again but when it was the other way around he felt some type of way.
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spite-and-waffles · 1 year ago
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instagram
I stan nobody but if I stan anyone I stan Candice Patton and her Iris West. The absolute hailstorm of racism, misogynoir, trauma and alienation this lady and her character has been subjected to from the get-go is unreal. And yet for nine whole years she breathed beauty and warmth and genuineness into her character, even when delivering the worst lines of dialogue she was made to say that she knew would cause huge backlash (apologies for linking Screen Rant. Broken clock etc.). She co-founded "Shethority" with her friends Maisie Richardson Sellers and Caity Lotz in the wake of the Kreisberg scandal. And she always put herself on the line to speak out and hold her bosses accountable as much as possible.
All this while her character was barely allowed to kiss her co-star onscreen, let alone act with the same casual sexuality of any other married TV couple in a 7pm slot, under the guise of The Flash being a "family show". My heart broke for how utterly worn down and traumatized she was by the end, because not only did Berlanti Studios or the CW not protect or accommodate their Black artists and those of colour, they're also known for subjecting them to racist, misogynistic harrassment and severe exploitation of even their white male talent. This woman wasn't allowed a Black hairdresser or makeup artist for eight seasons, was only allowed to show her natural hair on-screen after five years, and had to watch her black co-stars being sidelined, suppressed and subjected to all manner of indignity with little space to offer solidarity or speak out (I don't care if Berlanti hired them for Love, Simon, the way his fucking studio treated Keiynan Lonsdale was a crime). Even her co-star Grant Gustin only woke up and came to her defence against the online abuse hurled her way eight years in.
Berlanti has cultivated a wholly unearned reputation as an envelope-pusher for the gay community in the entertainment industry, while playing it so safe that the gay couples in his shows are barely allowed to make out– the same way they treat interracial couples with one white partner. His buddy Kreisberg finally met his downfall after sexually harrassing the female workers in his shows for four years, but Marc Guggenheim, Wendy Mericle and Geof Johns are also known racists and misogynists. Even after Stephen Amell's breakdown, Ruby Rose going public with her physical trauma, firing Superman and Lois's Black writer Nadria Tucker, numerous attempts by Black actresses to speak on their working conditions in the CW, and the consistent bald misogyny, ableism and racism of these shows' storylines, the white queers in fandom continue to valorize Berlanti. Now with the release of Red, White and Royal Blue on Amazon Prime in August, again using a Mexican director and characters of colour to use QPoC fans as a shield and buttress, Berlanti's stock is going to be even higher.
The Flash had the potential to be a truly great show, and Candice's Iris West a real foothold for Black actresses and interracial romances in the white-dominated TV entertainment industry. Instead it was just another opportunity for it to grind them to dust. Just like so many other Black women and WoC who try to lead the charge. But through it all, Ms. Patton held the line. Y'all never deserved her. I hope she gets to heal and move onto projects that value her and allow her her full range of voice and expression, that recognizes and rewards her incredible talent and work ethic.
Fuck Berlanti, fuck the CW and fuck DCtv.
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kmze · 7 months ago
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Thoughts on 8x09-8x16 remember how the beginning of the season I said it was the most I enjoyed the show, well this is the opposite because wow this was just depressing! Cade fizzled out once he went top-side (his motives seem confusing) and everything feels rushed trying to get to the finish line. Stefan is the most frustrating to watch because going from EVIL > EMO so fast gave me whiplash and it was all for nothing. One and a half seasons of development gone for what exactly? It's not the worst half season as it's very emotional and a lot of good character moments and of course THE WEDDING is beautiful and perfect when it gets to just be a wedding about two characters with the best love story (IMO!!!) on this show. Bonnie and Caroline got to live (!!!) and Kai showed up to make me laugh one last time. Lots and lots and lots of thoughts and bitching below, thank you to everyone who commented or sent me questions it was nice feeling the nostalgia of the old fandom here!
8x09
Damn it’s been a while since the Salvatores were in suits like this they look good!
I love Caroline’s dress (pink like her robe in 1x19) but her hair looks too flat sometimes. Bonnie looks stunning though I love that green.
Vomit inducing love story is a very accurate description of that trainwreck!
CTFU thinking about how Caroline had to watch that insanity unfold with Ripper Stefan staring at her while trying to psychologically damage Damon. She walked down like fuck crisis mode, she was so desperate she’s dancing with Damon!
HA! Violet's date has Stefan's hero hair! This drama queen!
Love the smooth way Ripper Stefan took Caroline’s hand and dragged her away but FOREVER ROBBED we didn’t get dancing dialogue with them! I can even see that Paul is yapping in the scenery shots. I feel like there was something in the script and it got cut, probably that she wanted that striker, he would have known because she said it to Damon right before he grabbed her hand to dance. I love that he brought it to her too, no ulterior motive he just knew she wanted it.
I love the Caroline and Violet scene.
How many gas leaks does this town have!
That last scene is so pretty, it reminds me of beauty and the beast. Note how Ripper Stefan catches the ring flips it and puts it in his pocket meanwhile he made Damon toss the necklace to prove he didn't care. He even “proposes” the next time he sees her.
8x10
BELVAFORE EPISODE
So glad Bonnie is finally decided to join the main plot again this week.
Caroline pulling an Elena getting Matt to do it for her! I feel like if Candice wasn’t pregnant she would have been this involved in the plot last season.
“Nah” CTFU you know what I’m counting that too, he’s got five proposals! Love that Caroline got the “Hello, Caroline” from the current evil brother.
This is something you don’t notice unless you’re looking for it, but Ripper Stefan hasn’t had a ripper binge since the end of 8x08 and it’s because he started drinking to sublimate (like he instructed Lily in 6x20). Even the beginning of 8x09 he’s not drinking bourbon in the bar but when he gets to Miss Mystic Falls he heads straight for the bar. In my completely biased opinion too it’s also because he’s around Caroline, she just naturally keeps him in control because that’s what she promised him. Damon on the other hand always triggers him, he cannot relax around him.
Awww Liz and Caroline!
Caroline forgiving Damon because he was the only one who mourned Liz not Caroline’s Mom is probably not reason enough for most of us to forgive Damon for what he did but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that’s how Caroline feels and I thought this was a great scene for their relationship. Ultimately I’m glad he was turned human though and she’ll never need to be afraid of him again.
Ripper Stefan is such a maniac! The clause he puts in for whether Matt is going to ring that bell is some Jigsaw level mind games. Why doesn’t Peter just put Matt in a choke hold and tie him up? Idiot family.
Poor Tyler, he really thought Bonnie or anyone would care that Damon killed him. Nope Tyler you needed to be a British white vampire who showed up in S5 for anyone to care about your death it seems.
Ripper Stefan’s reaction to Damon telling him he forgives him THE BEST! This whole scene is so good and a great explainer as to why this relationship has and always will be off balance. Also he’s complained three times that Damon ruined his life having him work for Cade so someone’s not as content as they act like they are.
Notice how once Caroline started talking and basically told him she knew exactly what point he was trying to make he shut up. He was acting just like he did in early S6 when he had to push her away the most. The change in his face is so apparent to, it's unfortunate a lot of this ended up going nowhere because they were already planning on making Stefan human, Caroline was breaking through his walls way more than she realized.
THE BAMON LETTER! So good! I love that Damon memorized it and I can’t help it but I feel so much more from this scene than I have every Bonenzo scene this season. Because it’s full of callbacks and I actually believe everything he’s saying because I’ve seen it unfold. I know it was never going to happen but the ending of the show being Defan falling for Elena’s two best friends and then compelling away her memories so she could finally live a safe life would have been such a great twist ending!
8x11
EL OH EL Ripper Stefan made it very clear to Caroline Damon was his trigger last episode yet he’s asking where she is to tell Damon everything he’s doing wrong.
“Quality like Caroline Forbes” my thesis statement!
I’m sorry but whatever with these losers who want to be cured of having superpowers. Why doesn’t Enzo just walk into the sun when Bonnie dies if it’s such a big deal. I also don’t get why ANYONE is so eager to become human with the LITERAL DEVIL walking around.
God shut UP Matt!
“Some of us don’t regret it” IN YOUR FACE MATT
Usually I ignore the wormholes these characters drive through to get places (especially last season oy) but y’all acting like it took two hours to get from Virginia to Upstate New York I cannot allow! Bruh GTFO!
Why is Bonnie so uninterested in trying to become a witch again? I cannot help but notice the entire time romantic BE has been going on Bonnie hasn't had her powers and that don't sit right with me (and as soon as he dies she gets them back)!
Caroline really turned that around on Damon in a fantastic way to guilt him into using the cure on Cade. Bravo. HOWEVER! Damon and Caroline were way too slow putting the pieces together in this episode and it felt like the show dumbing people down on purpose for plot. Why would they not ask Cade right away what task Stefan was on and furthermore why would they not warn everyone he's on the loose since he just tried to burn the town to the ground?
“I’m thinking something symbolic maybe find a bathtub to drown her in, full circle kind of thing” THE PETTINESS I FEEL!
This was really the most evil version of Ripper Stefan. IDK if it was the power of working for Cade or it was like Alaric and the serial killer ring and the more times you shut it off the more evil you get. I do think they made him so evil because they wanted to cure him (because he wasn't the intended death they plotted the whole season but let me wait to bitch about that) and it needed to be forced on him. Because this didn’t really flow with how he acted in S6. Of course that’s because he was distracted by NH!Caro and after he got her to let go too he just sat in the passenger’s seat. As opposed to Damon who hasn't been cooperating since they started this mission and has him way on edge. TBH I don't even understand Cade's motives here but maybe that's because this is Katherine's idea (which UGH) because I could DEFINITELY buy that she'd love watching Ripper Stefan murder Elena.
Welp play stupid games win stupid prizes Stefan!
Very cool how Bonnie created her own psychic world there.
8x12
Look as bad as I feel for Bonnie I cannot help but say how fucking stupid is Enzo that he was standing with his back to the door, I mean how did he not hear Ripper Stefan yapping about drowning Elena in a bathtub!
Cade really fizzled once he went top-side, he was way more intimidating and intriguing before they rang the bell IMO. I will never understand why he let two sirens he had for 2,000 years go for the Salvatores only to be like "oh well give me Stefan's soul" after like two months of working for him. I thought Stefan's soul wouldn't be as tastey and he was much more useful being a menace?
The thing about Stefan turning human storyline is it only exists because he wasn't supposed to die in the finale! Brett Matthews filled in the pieces during one of those podcasts that the death was switched after they planned out the whole season (like literally Damon compelling Stefan was always the plan). KW came back in around 8x11 and made them switch it, and having Stefan human probably made it easier for the writers to not care if he died a la Tyler. They needed the brother who lived to be human so they could do the final Defan scene. So while parts of this are interesting overall I look at as “what’s the point” if he was going to die he should have died a vampire rather than this unbelievably inane cure plot.
Wait actually I’m not done bitching! What was the point of this Ripper Stefan plot too! Felt like they just wanted to make him do something bad like Damon did for the first SEVEN EPISODES OF THIS SEASON. Rather than actually exploring how Stefan said he was a “reformed ripper” in 6x20 and even in 8x08 he says he’s trying to do it right this time because he made the choice to turn it off. Don’t even get me started about how he admitted he’s “both” in 8x04 and it just went nowhere. Stefan’s blood addiction and how that influenced so much of who he was and how he hide parts of himself just dropped for dramatic effect. Stuff like this makes me feel the Stefan stans who complain the show only cares about Damon are right, like Stefan was such a complex character they were afraid to really explore him.
Bonnie and her Mom's scenes are really touching, I love the burial with the petals. The song is beautiful too, this episode has some fantastic music.
I can't believe old timely Matt was a thing!
Caroline saved him just like she said she would!
I know this is a deeply serious scene and it's very nice but I can't help but think Julie put this Matt and Bonnie scene in and being like 'oh 200 years ago we were a thing' because she was plotting them ending up together.
Caroline gave Stefan hope and Damon didn’t take it away from him. Love that.
You know Ric is way too eager to let Stefan die when he’s in this mess because he was protecting his daughters! I hate this motherfucker.
KAI I MISSED YOU!
8x13
Matt ringing the bell was 3 days ago! Why is this show’s timeline insane all the time feels like 800 things have happened since!
If Kai is just a psychic imprint because he was dead and only came because of the bell than how the hell did he survive for like 20 years in that prison world? He came back in S2 of Legacies to be killed off for the third time.
Dorian makes some great points and I do like that the show made a point to be like so what if Stefan feels remorse he still murdered all these people. However he murdered Dorian’s family while working for Klaus to save Damon, it’s always saving Damon that ruins his life.
Omg Kai drawing the heart on the window thinking about Bonnie! I can’t believe how much I like this now!
Very here for Caroline just giving out Stefan’s money as she pleased to clean up his mess.
Okay rant time it’s absolutely RIDICULOUS the amount of times Stefan is hemorrhaging blood as a human! The idea he could dig a grave like that after having stitches is impossible and now he’s been shot and needs a blood transfusion but SOMEHOW the cure is still in his blood. Fucking most annoying plot device ever.
THANK YOU CAROLINE! God shut up Matt! Always whining about vampires and blah blah blah but who keeps fixing everything! The vampires! Even on Legacies all that shit Alaric talks and who always saves the day, the damn supernatural beings!
Endlessly annoyed that now the show decides after stifling Bonnie’s powers constantly since S3 were like “oh actually Bonnie’s super duper powerful” honestly go to hell. Really waited until the end of the damn show to do that…
SUCH A GOOD SCENE! This scene parallels perfectly back to Steroline’s first kiss where Stefan said “if anyone could control death it’s you” because that’s what she did!
Caroline calling out Stefan for his martyrdom was so good, this is why I like them they have real conversations and they don’t put each other on pedestals. Stefan’s motive for going on a spiritual journey makes sense too, even though he chose to live for Caroline because he loves her so much what Cade said still rang true to him. He thinks he’s a burden now because he promised her forever and now he can’t give her that.
Josie trying to set Lizzie on fire for hurting Caroline LMFAO
8x14
Okay LOL there’s SO MANY scenes of people visiting limbo when they’re on deaths door and I still see posts of “Stefan had no reason to visit Elena instead of Caroline” in the finale and like um yeah he did lol. Literally the only person he could see in limbo, the show is not complicated you’re just in denial.
Finally a real selfie! Stefan is so pathetic, it brings me so much joy lol.
CTFU Lizzie and Josie setting things on fire because Steroline broke up! I can relate!
Truly amazing how much Stefan never learns his lesson! As soon as Damon roped him back into the main plot he’s like REVENGE! He didn’t even pretend to care it was to save Elena.
ONE LAST VERVAIN NEEDLE STAB! This was the funniest thing I noticed during this rewatch, no matter what vervain needle in his pocket.
I like that they brought back the slasher movie scenes with Kai’s return as he’s walking around the Armory to murder the twins. Caroline “for Jo” moment was awesome!
Love the psychic fight between Bonnie and Cade to save Damon’s soul. Then Stefan stabbing Cade and kill him and the whole psychic blast with the ashes falling. Really well shot scene, only thing is it’s endlessly stupid how they brought Damon back to life after he finally did something selfless.
HES SO FUNNY! Stefan doesn’t even let Caroline close the door he’s on his knee saying “Marry me” the man’s got two speeds; careful fear and dead devotion.
I think that was Stefan’s best speech, it’s this or the 6x22 one but this was so beautiful and sincere. A part of me will always be sad he didn’t get that life because him living out a human life helping supernatural kids was a great ending for him. They also spent all that time last season about how he wanted to be a father. And I love that even though he was human and could have children of his own he wanted to raise Caroline’s children with her, like he said he couldn’t imagine doing any of it without her. Both proposals were so great, this one about words the other about actions. I like to believe they’ll have a third one in the afterlife and then they get a wedding with everyone there since Caroline will be the last of the group to find peace (Lizzie might still be alive).
The Armory door becoming one of Steroline’s things was awesome, doors and windows symbolism and both scenes are reunion-esque.
The Bonkai karaoke scene CTFU I’m sorry I enjoy them and the Katherine reveal was great it was so hyped up in a corny way but it worked. The moment kinda needed to break the fourth wall, it sucks she’s such a letdown in the finale.
8x15
The OG Deadbeat Mom returns!
Oh Damon gave Caroline Elena’s necklace to borrow, I could not remember what it was and I akways see gifs of that moment. This is a really great scene.
It would be easier to feel bad about Enzo being dead if he wasn't in every god damn episode since he was murdered! Do Bonnie and Enzo just have this same dancing scene over and over again like what is even the point of this? I totally get why people love this ship because they give them very cute stuff and there's good chemistry but truly they bore me to death.
Poor Valerie LOL probably got excited seeing a call from Stefan only for him to be like “hey Caroline and I are getting a married can you do me a favor” so mean. Valerie would have been a cool guest star on Legacies.
They kept reminding Stefan he was gonna DIE it was cruel! The writers were warning us.
Damn the wedding really is amazing, it just made me feel so many things. The music (like they used a cinematic masterpiece score), the looks, the vows, and the kiss! That might be their best kiss with the petals falling the smiles between kisses and the way Stefan is holding her so tightly! I also love that Stefan called Caroline his "sounding board" because that was one of the best parts of watching them fall in love. How they'd meet by the fireplace and talk about the days current events or Stefan would just spill his guts to Caroline looking for her guidance. God they really were THAT ship.
See now that's how you do a dancing scene with Bamon, the snark, the twirl, the looks they could have been amazing!
That small moment where the camera pans down to Stefan and Caroline dancing and it looks like Stefan mouths “I love you” before kissing her. So important to me. I love how as soon as Damon said they would continue with the ceremony they just stopped worrying about the impending doom of Katherine and it was just about them finally getting this moment, finally getting to be married. And this small dancing scene was so precious to them where they just got to be in love and married and happy and it's taken away from them so suddenly it's good to know they got some joy.
8x16
So Stefan knew Bonnie saw Elena while she was in limbo, and he knows about limbo because he met Cade there in 8x13.
LMFAO Vicki was like “there’s nothing you can do to stop me” and Damon threw her out the clock tower. That was just classic Damon one last time.
Bonnie and Ric basically teamed up to get Caroline out of MF so Stefan would sacrifice himself because they both wanted him dead. No I’m not bitter or anything.
I hate how Stefan died (especially on HIS WEDDING DAY), I just hate that it was basically a suicide because the show decided that’s the only way to find redemption. I do get that Stefan could never let Damon die it’s the optics, I hate it. Stefan was even the one who kept saying he wanted to try and atone for his sins, he wanted to find redemption through that and then suddenly here he's like death is the only way to redemption. This is all KW because this whole episode feels like it was written by someone who hasn't watched this show since S3.
“I love you so much” god this is just heartbreaking, they couldn’t have let them have a day or a week to enjoy being married? Paul and Candice do a great job and I love that the kiss is a reverse parallel to their first kiss, they still deserved better.
WHAT IS THIS WIG
I can’t even listen to Katherine explain her plan that wig killed me.
In all seriousness though what even is the motive of her plan? She wants to burn MF to the ground because why? Just such a waste, they should have killed Cade earlier and had Kai and Katherine be the main villains to end the season, they could have had Katherine possess someone else until Nina came back like Vicki. Maybe throw Silas in there too if Paul felt up to it, just because we know he got dragged to hell too.
Bonnie saving the day with all the witches and controlling the hellfire was the best scene in the finale. Still annoyed they waited until THE LAST EVER EPISODE to make her super duper powerful but this scene was fantastic. Her suddenly knowing how to lift the curse on Elena though RME.
So Legacies S4 kind of enhanced the “tell Caroline I heard her” scene because it established that souls can get stuck in limbo if they have unfinished business with someone still alive. Stefan knew about limbo and knew Elena could be seen there, so he’s clearly looking for her (hence the bumping into him scene). He finds her and tells her everything and then when she hugs him he says “there’s something I have to say” because that was his unfinished business. He needed to make sure Caroline got his message that he’d love her forever too. And I love how it was written that he “heard her” not that he listened to her message. It makes it sound like when he died Caroline’s message was the thing he heard (because he always thought of her before he almost died) and that’s why he goes to limbo first to have Elena relay his message. It was beautiful and I will admit if Stefan didn’t die we never would have got this powerful moment of them promising to love each other forever (still would rather he lived though).
The chin kiss! Gets worse every-time I see it!
I do love Caroline’s ending and that TVD acts as her origin story because the school is the first mark she’s going to leave over her immortal life. However no matter what it’s still heartbreaking that she became a widow the same day she became a wife. I don’t know how that’s not supposed to be tragic.
The funny thing about the KC letter is if Caroline never went to TO you could have totally spun this as a hint-y endgame if you cared enough (which lbr that's what it's all about for shippers on this show). BUT! Because she went there this is just a cliffhanger, the voiceover even says this is the beginning of another story so it's pretty obvious this was just bait and now we know how that story ends. Also forever and ever LOL that Caroline got $3M from Klaus and she ignored his ass for almost a decade until Rebekah was like “please babysit my 1000 year old brother because I can’t physically go near him” such a troll job.
The DE endgame is such a tragedy lol, I'm sorry but the writers did not give a flying fuck about them! I mean yes they got the HEA but really that was just out of default, once they had Stefan die they were the only ship left. And I used to think it was all Ian's fault being unprofessional but he was fine with Nina in their Datherine scenes like this was just that they gave them NOTHING. They didn't even share dialogue, if anything Elena talks about Stefan more and then they just kill them off lol, as opposed to Caroline and Bonnie who the show indicates will have more stories to tell.
Defan last scene is great but I shall never forgive them for not showing Stefan's wedding ring we all know he was wearing because of BTS shots.
Line that made me laugh: (only one, too depressing)
Kai: I think I’m on the waitlist for heaven but they’re not returning my calls (yep that's definitely it Kai LMFAO)
2 notes · View notes
wernerwartzhog · 7 months ago
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i just started watching Boston legal on Disney+ after wanting to watch it for SO long and god it is so ridiculous. The fucking music especially. Classic "product of its time". But it is entertaining. Character actor heaven. Great ensemble cast and I can't wait to see Candice Bergen appear. And obviously James Spader is just exceptional like always. My Beautiful Radiant Brilliant Shining Star
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glitchyk · 8 months ago
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Mafia Reds incorrect quotes part 1
Other mafia incorrect quotes
Characters:
M!Candice
M!Aithne
M!Lorelai @mafia-Lorelai
M!Arsenic
M!Diamond @mafia-diamond-smthidk
M!Dash @the-mafia-bear
All of these are the revealed canon characters of the reds.
None of these are actual events and half might not even be accurate to character, but they’re here for the sillies. Just like how Arsenic doesn’t have volcano codes, and Lorelai just doesn’t talk— like I said, it’s the sillies.
••+^+••
M!Arsenic: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!
M!Arsenic, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.
••+^+••
M!Dash: I have very high standards, you know.
M!Candice: I can make spaghetti...
M!Dash: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!
••+^+••
M!Aithne: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog…
M!Lorelai: What’s updog?
M!Aithne: M!Diamond! Get in here, I told you I could do it!
••+^+••
M!Lorelai: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.
••+^+••
M!Diamond: M!Dash, if you don't shut up I'm going to throw myself out of the car.
*click*
M!Diamond: DID YOU JUST TURN THE FUCKING CHILDRENS' LOCK ON?!
••+^+••
M!Diamond: It's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.
••+^+••
M!Diamond: Seriously, all you do is bitch.
M!Dash: I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation.
••+^+••
M!Aithne: Detective! The man belonged to some kind of cult that worshipped a divine forest creature with antlers and that’s how he met his end.
M!Arsenic: Dear God!
M!Aithne: Yeah! Exactly!
••+^+••
M!Diamond: We vegetarians love the environment. Carnivores are sick freaks.
M!Candice: How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants.
••+^+••
M!Lorelai: I hate M!Arsenic.
M!Diamond: "Hate' is a strong word.
M!Lorelai: I have strong opinions.
••+^+••
M!Arsenic: Hey, thanks for checking in, I’m ✨still a piece of garbage✨
••+^+••
M!Candice: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
M!Lorelai: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
M!Candice: I said within reason, M!Lorelai. How about I murder that guy?
M!Lorelai: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
M!Candice: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
••+^+••
M!Lorelai, skipping rocks on a lake with M!Dash: It’s such a beautiful evening.
M!Dash: Yeah, it is.
M!Dash: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.
••+^+••
M!Candice: Hey, are you alright with swearing? Asking for a friend.
M!Aithne: Yeah?
M!Candice: Bitch.
••+^+••
M!Aithne: Our relationship is strictly professional.
M!Diamond, sitting on M!Aithne’s lap: Absolutely. Only on business.
••+^+••
M!Arsenic: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.
••+^+••
M!Diamond: Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no.
••+^+••
M!Aithne: Your Honor, I hereby submit the following to the court:
M!Aithne: M!Dash, what the actual FUCK?
••+^+••
M!Arsenic: Do you think I'm plastic?
M!Diamond: No.
M!Arsenic: Phew. Oka-
M!Diamond: Plastic, at least, has some use in life. You're not plastic.
••+^+••
M!Candice: *is visibly upset*
M!Dash: M!Candice, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.
••+^+••
M!Dash: Yo! I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts?
M!Lorelai: If a crocodile eats your dad, they become your new dad.
••+^+••
M!Dash, looking at M!Arsenic: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.
••+^+••
M!Diamond: She's the girl of my dreams!
M!Candice: You say every girl is the girl of your dreams.
M!Diamond: I have a lot of dreams.
••+^+••
M!Aithne: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and M!Diamond!
M!Arsenic: So M!Diamond knows about this?
M!Aithne, walking away: No, this is between me and me!
••+^+••
M!Aithne: You need a hobby.
M!Dash: I have a hobby!
M!Aithne: Fawning over M!Lorelai isn’t a hobby.
••+^+••
M!Candice: Why are you smiling?
M!Diamond: What? I can’t just be happy?
M!Lorelai: M!Aithne tripped and fell in the parking lot.
••+^+••
M!Diamond: Hold the fuck up.
M!Arsenic: Excuse me?
M!Diamond: I said hold the fuck up.
M!Arsenic:
M!Diamond: I’m the fuck up, hold me.
••+^+••
M!Lorelai: What’s your biggest fear?
M!Candice: I am incredibly arachnophobic.
M!Lorelai, under their breath: You don’t want spiders to get married?
••+^+••
M!Dash: Okay. Hypothetically speaking, how mad would you be if I burned a hot pocket so badly it could probably fall off a ten-story building and be completely fine?
M!Arsenic: M!Dash, what did you do?
M!Dash: Take a guess.
••+^+••
M!Candice: I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit.
M!Arsenic: M!Candice, is that legal?
M!Candice: When the cops aren’t around, anything’s legal!
••+^+••
M!Aithne: M!Dash, you're testifying in an aggravated assault case tomorrow, and the D.A. is worried about how you'll present yourself on the stand.
M!Dash: Why? I'm fine on the stand!
*flashback to Testimony #1*
M!Dash: Look, I'll make this real simple so even these dumdums can understand.
M!Dash, to the jury: MAN DID CRIME.
*flashback to Testimony #2*
M!Dash: I'm sorry, could you make her stop doing that weird thing with her face?
Defense Attorney, next to the crying defendant: ...Crying?
*flashback to Testimony #3*
M!Dash: And when this is over, I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna break those little fingers.
Judge: Could the witness please stop threatening the stenographer?
••+^+••
M!Diamond: Your lover doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions.
M!Candice: Your lover thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions.
M!Lorelai: Who's fucking caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?
M!Dash: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions.
••+^+••
M!Aithne: Can we talk? One 10 to another?
M!Dash: I’m an 11, but continue.
••+^+••
M!Aithne: *Holding up a pack of pencils* These are kinda cute.
M!Candice: M!Aithne, that’s gay.
M!Aithne: We’ve been dating for 2 years—
••+^+••
M!Dash: M!Lorelai keeps forgetting which WiFi network they're supposed to use.
M!Dash: So I renamed ours to "M!Lorelai, use this one" to help them out a little.
••+^+••
M!Aithne: Yeah, I’m a false prophet, but you believed me, so whose fault is it really that we’re in this mess?
••+^+••
M!Diamond: I am so horny and angry all the time
••+^+••
M!Aithne: I told M!Candice to grab snacks for everyone.
M!Diamond, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?
*M!Aithne, M!Candice, and M!Dash raise their hands*
••+^+••
M!Aithne: Screw lactose intolerance! I will consume as much dairy as I want!
M!Aithne 2 hours later, crying on the floor: WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?!
••+^+••
M!Diamond: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart?
M!Dash: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!
M!Diamond: Mean.
••+^+••
M!Arsenic: Being gay isn't a choice. It's a game and I'm winning.
••+^+••
M!Lorelai: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.
••+^+••
M!Candice: Where's M!Diamond, M!Aithne, and M!Dash?
M!Dash: They're playing hide and seek.
M!Candice: Where?
M!Dash: I don't think you get how this game works.
••+^+••
M!Arsenic: *finds a note* Hmm, whats this?
M!Lorelai: Hey, that's mine! *tries to grab it*
M!Arsenic: Aww, it's a love note for M!Diamond?
M!Lorelai: No-
M!Arsenic: *opens it*
M!Arsenic:
M!Lorelai:
M!Arsenic: I can't read this.
••+^+••
M!Candice, to the Squad: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go.
M!Dash: But how-
M!Candice, ignoring them: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.
••+^+••
M!Candice: Are you really planning to shoot the demon?
M!Aithne: Don't worry, it's a holy gun.
M!Candice: How so?
M!Aithne: It makes holes.
••+^+••
M!Lorelai, to M!Diamond: I'm leaving for the weekend, so I hid 100 dollars in your room for food. Clean your room, and you will find it.
••+^+••
M!Dash: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.
••+^+••
M!Diamond: It kind of feels like you’re prioritizing work over our friendship.
M!Aithne: Because I barely know you?
M!Diamond: Fine, message received.
••+^+••
M!Lorelai, texting M!Aithne: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater…
M!Aithne′s phone, auto-replying: I’m driving right now–I’ll get back to you later.
*Later*
M!Aithne, texting back: Fuck you.
••+^+••
M!Dash: Tomorrow’s the Cooking Contest. M!Candice always tells me one thing every year. They say, “You might win if you’d stop eating your entry!” But how would I know whether it’s an award-winning dish without tasting it first? This may be a problem humanity will have to grapple with for eternity…
••+^+••
M!Aithne: You seem familiar... have I threatened you before?
••+^+••
M!Aithne: I’m this close to falling in love with M!Lorelai.
M!Diamond: Your fingertips are touching.
M!Aithne: Exactly.
••+^+••
M!Arsenic: What’s it like being tall?
M!Arsenic: Is it nice?
M!Arsenic: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?
M!Diamond: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.
M!Candice: It was one time!
••+^+••
M!Candice: Dude, we can get mythical animals! Maybe I’ll get a penguin!
M!Lorelai: Penguins are real.
M!Candice: That’s the spirit, M!Lorelai! They’re real to me too!
••+^+••
M!Lorelai: ATTENTION: I HAVE BREACHED CONTAINMENT.
M!Lorelai: DO NOT PANIC, I AM SIMPLY GETTING A SNACK.
••+^+••
M!Aithne: When life gives you lemonades, make lemons! Life will be all like "whaAttT?"
M!Candice: Life lessons that schools can't teach you.
••+^+••
M!Aithne: Petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday.
M!Arsenic: Wednesay.
M!Aithne: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible.
••+^+••
M!Candice: You need to be more careful!
M!Arsenic, who was dragged into M!Candice's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-
••+^+••
M!Aithne: It was difficult, so you’ve just given up. You might fail, so why bother trying?
M!Lorelai: Exactly.
M!Lorelai, to M!Candice: I told you they’d understand.
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hms-tardimpala · 1 month ago
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Catching up on Smackdown 25/10/24
Oohh hello Triple H. I love seeing the gorilla position. Oh fuck, they just put on Hunter's music (💚💚 btw) to get him out of his chair. I love Triple H in kayfabe, the attitude, everything. Old H is narrating fanfiction to us. "I don't know why but for once he let his guard down" SIR. Oohhh we're playing with kayfabe tonight, Paul! Spicy! What a cool storytelling moment we're starting with!
Omg Andrade/Hayes is next, I can't. I'm not ready. Let me take a step outside first.
"Andrade", "'Melo" what if I wanted them to kiss. I'm so hyped for this!!! But oh I had forgotten LA Knight was referee. I'd rather he wasn't :/
Come on, dazzle me, boys! These men are so good 🤩 Oh they're using Knight as an accessory and a bumper. Great match so far aaaaaand Knight intervenes. Dammit. We deserved a good match to close this amazing series and it was overbooked.
Corey Graves is mad and so am I. "It's BS, it's absolute garbage. You have two of the best athletes in the world leaving it all in the ring for the right to win an opportunity and this egomaniac just screwed them both!" I COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER HONEY. Ugh I'm not gonna get to a point where I like LA Knight, am I.
The only thing I want now is Andrade and Carmelo occasionally teaming up to punish Knight in their three-way at Crown Jewel.
Nia Jax is soooo beautiful 😍
Naomi's entrance dance is a warm-up in itself. "See what I did there??" I missed you Michael Cole. The Naomi/Candice LeRae match was cool, but I wasn't rooting for either.
I love the rudeness of Gunther interrupting Cody's entrance. He doesn't have time for your pomp, Cody, he's a European on the clock. Still don't like him, but that was cool. I still agree with his point that Cody mentioning his daughter was unnecessary. But why are they having this talk? "To determine who the best champion is" well that's called a match. But the match is next week so?? Short of a dick contest, I don't see what they could do here.
Oh shit, I was wrong. They're actually both delivering a good promo. Love the opposition of styles. There is a european vs. american style flavor here. In values, elocution, presentation, trashtalk. Different approaches to it.
But for me Cody loses this exchange because "Guts is ending a civil discussion like this and taking the first shot"...no that's not guts that's crass and an admission that you're at a disadvantage. In my european opinion.
The three women's tag teams in that shot are lined up by size 😂 Damage CTRL, Green & Niven and Legend & Jackson look like ↗️
Oh the three GMs are here! Hello! I think they need to have a drink and commiserate about their locker rooms' respective chaos. Love Cargill and Belair's outfits. Holographic!
Corey Graves is also full-on on fanfiction logic tonight, bless him.
Okay so MCMG. I don't know them. Their style seems very technical, they start slow. But they're very well coordinated. DIY are really good, so a good match with them bodes well.
You gotta love career tag team wrestlers. They're brilliant, lovable, masters of their art.
Yeah, that was a really cool match!
Solo Sikoa's certified pussy-popping music! Solo my despicable boy talk to me. "Brooklyn shut your mouth" I love him unfortunately. Aww he introduced himself and said welcome he's so cute. And MCMG is getting mic time!! Love this very polite introduction. Love Solo getting cute. Love these two bite-sized sweaty guys getting excited.
Damn, Nick Aldis' job is easier than Adam Pearce's. His wrestlers just agree to matches! They don't even have to be restrained, threatened, suspended, punished, prevented or forced! The dream.
Okay, I'm really starting to vibe with the Bloodline story. (Also I just saw Solo in a tight-fitting shirt and I'm gonna need a minute)
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nsfwhiphop · 1 month ago
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Incoming Text for Beyoncé (@beyonce): "I know you sent the hottest twerkers in Texas to flood my Tumblr feed."
Dear Beyoncé,
I have to tell you that I noticed my Tumblr feed is full of black women with perfect asses—they're all 10s, perfect 10s. They twerk in short videos with your songs in the background. What does it mean? It means these women are working for Queen Bey from Texas.
Not gonna lie, they're all hot, but you and I both know that I will never fall into this honey trap.
If only you knew how many baddies from Hollywood flood my Tumblr feed every day, you'd be shocked. I swear, I'm not lying. The other day, I was so shocked to see Meghan Markle pop up on my feed—I was speechless.
My reaction was like: "Eh, yo! Meghan, the fuck you doin' here?"
I also saw "Princess Kate" pop up a few times, but she has cancer nowadays, and I feel so bad for her. I hope she survives this illness and becomes healthy again.
Then there’s "Alexandra Daddario," "Kate Winslet," "Emily Ratajkowski," "Gisele Bündchen," "Alessandra Ambrosio," "Candice Swanepoel," "Miranda Kerr," "Heidi Klum," "Zooey Deschanel," "Meryl Streep," "Julianne Moore," "Nia Long"—and many more I can't even remember at the moment.
I see so many female celebrities seeking to capture my attention on a daily basis by posting their pictures on my Tumblr feed. Believe it or not, I ignore them because I can't write letters to each one of them individually—it would take too much of my time. So, I just ignore them. I see the pictures, but I never react.
Two days ago, though, I wrote a short message to Elizabeth Hurley because she was popping up on my feed with way too many pictures, and it went on every day for an entire week. That's why I decided to break my silence and respond to her. I wrote a cute message and told her how her movie influenced me as a teenager in the 2000s.
If you want to read that text, here it is (click on the blue link): https://nsfwhiphop.tumblr.com/post/764529275653308416/incoming-text-for-elizabeth-hurley
You can call Elizabeth Hurley, she's a cool chick from the 90s UK—you'll have fun with her.
I just want to finish this long conversation by saying, I see your Texas girls twerking on my Tumblr feed every day, and yes, I agree—they are hot as fuck.
Texas bitches are hot! But I can't let them get access to my d*ck, though—they might steal my sperm, and I can't let them steal my sperm. It's like a gold reserve. I can't let twerking bitches from Texas get near my gold reserve.
Oh, and I also forgot to tell you, your bestie Kelly Rowland has been popping up on my feed since yesterday. She keeps posting hot pics of herself. Kelly is getting finer as she ages. She's the same age as me—1981, baby.
Ooohh, Kelly, you're so fine.
Okay, this chat was fun.
Love you, Beyoncé! Have fun, big hugs for you.
P.S.:
Synopsis of the Letter:
In this letter to Beyoncé, the writer humorously shares their observations about their Tumblr feed, which is filled with videos of attractive black women twerking to her music. The writer acknowledges their beauty but playfully claims they won't fall for this "honey trap." They list several female celebrities, including Meghan Markle, Princess Kate, and Kelly Rowland, who have appeared on their feed, mentioning how these stars seem to be vying for their attention.
The letter touches on the writer's occasional interactions, like a recent message to Elizabeth Hurley, but they admit they mostly ignore the celebrity posts. The letter ends with the writer playfully warning that, while the Texas women are "hot," they can't let them near their "gold reserve" (sperm). The tone is lighthearted, and the letter closes with love and well-wishes for Beyoncé.
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cancerian-woman · 1 year ago
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getting into more Bonnie things it’s so nerve wrecking when fans of other ships claim Kat lacks chemistry with actors or Bonnie just couldn’t do what Elena/Caroline does because of her “morality”
Many fans not all of them but majority don’t want to admit that because they can’t self-insert into Bonnie or Kat they find all Bonnie’s non-canon/canon things nonsensical. Bonnie “deserves” more but these fans will never expand on that meaning either. “Yeah, her love life sucks but I could never pair Bonnie with Damon/Enzo/Klaus/Kol or Kai because….” then you ask them their favorite ships and it’s always Kai/Katherine/Kolvina/Delena/Klaroline. One thing that’s massively agreed on about Caroline/Candice as well as Nina/Elena is that they have great chemistry with everyone. Not saying that they don’t have any at all, but those women aren’t limited in the series and always on the screen.
Morality arguments only apply to Bonnie by the fandom. Morality didn’t stop Elena from dating Damon or Stefan. It doesn’t stop Caroline from fucking Klaus and ignoring her boundaries in her relationship with Tyler. Matt HATED the supernaturals yet fucked Rebekah+Nadia at the same time. Where was his morals? Kol sliced Davina’s neck wide open and they were married by the time Davina was in her 20s. Morality didn’t exist when Freya had her future wife choked up in chains? What can you say from a fandom that was led by that cockroach Julie? Why would you want strong, beautiful Bonnie with murderous Kol….then in the year following we get Kolvina swaying and remarks about how beautiful and strong Davina is. Plenty of fans will keep Bonnie’s dislike of vampires from season1-2 and place that as her personality for the rest of the series.
One last comment to make on this subject for now. A lot of tvdu fans won’t admit this either. They don’t find Kat or Bonnie as attractive as the other white women in the series. Attractiveness is subjective (sure) but they’ll make plenty of lists and comments about the women and how pretty they are. Yet Kat/Bonnie will always be the at the last or if ever mentioned. Uh huh. Someone on here was playing some ask game were they literally mentioned how the prettiest girls in tvd was just Caroline/Elena. Yall asses KNOW what you be doing.
“Bonnie ships don’t make sense because…” but one of the biggest ships in this fandom, doesn’t even have a single scene that explains where Klaus fell so deeply in love with Caroline.
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classicsubliminalbo · 2 months ago
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Candice Swanepoel: Mindless Maid
Originally published May 23, 2014
A bad guy with a maid fetish, Candice thought, how cliche. If Candice had a nickel for every time someone had tried to brainwash her, she'd have four nickels. And while that wasn't really a lot of nickels—maybe in 1884 dollars—it's still a lot more brainwashings than most women should expect to endure in a lifetime. She was starting to feel like the 21st century's Patty Hearst. To be honest, it had all kind of been exciting to Candice at one time. Maybe the first couple of times. But now it was the same old routine. She wanted a guy who could really shake things up! Her captor today was not that guy.
Jacob Rothschild. He was one of those twenty-something millionaires you read about in Forbes. You know, the kind of guy who developed an app in his college dorm room and made such an obscene amount of money that he never had to work again. Sure, Jacob had the whole trust fund baby look, and Candice doubted that he'd ever had to pay for anything himself, least of all his two years of Ivy League education. He dressed like an accountant on casual Friday and spoke so fast some of his words slurred together. Candice had to admit, though, she found Jacob kind of cute. He had that whole dorky look going for him.
Now, bound to an armchair in Jacob's penthouse living room, Candice was rethinking her opinion of the guy. Those stupid clothes, that stupid face, and that stupid French maid lingerie he was holding up in front of her, smiling like an idiot because he thought she'd be impressed. Standing quietly behind Jacob were Candice's friends Rosie and Behati, already dressed in their maid outfits, eyes blank, smiles empty. Just last night they'd been out celebrating Rosie's birthday, and now here they were, in some nerd's house getting their mindless French maid on.
"Well?" Jacob asked. "Well what?" Candice responded. "What do you think? Aren't you going to cry over your friends? Beg me not to do this?" Candice shrugged. "I don't know. Don't you think this is well-tread territory already?" "What do you mean?" Jacob frowned.
Candice straightened up, like she was about to give the young man a lesson. "The whole mind controlled slave, maid-girl thing. I don't know, don't you have anything better? Like, what do you plan to do with me after I'm enslaved with my friends?" "I don't know," Jacob shrugged. "I guess I'd have you clean my house," he looked around the room. "It's not really dirty…I mean, I've got a real made to do that for me but…" "Jake," Candice shook her head. "You've got three beautiful supermodels under your control. You can do anything with us. Please tell me you're not going to make me clean your house. God, at least Patty Hearst got to rob a fucking bank." "Do you…do you want me to make you rob a bank…?" "No! I just mean…Ugh, come on. Are you even going to have sex with me?" "No!" Jacob raised his hands in defense. "God, no. I'm not a…I'm not that kind of guy, okay?"
Candice rolled her eyes. "So it's just a PG fetish then, huh?" "Look," Jacob held Rosie's hand and pulled her next to himself. "It's not that bad, is it, Rosie?" "No, master," Rosie smiled. "Serving you is the greatest pleasure I've ever experienced." "And are you bored?" "Every second is more exciting than the last," she droned.
"Of course she says that," Candice frowned. "She's completely mindless." "I think the point master is trying to make," Behati spoke up in her dull, slave voice. "Is that you won't care once you've joined us. The pleasure of being master's maid is quite wonderful."
"Ugh," Candice groaned. "Fine, hypnotize me or do whatever you do. But you don't get to watch me change. If you don't have the decency to fuck me when I'm under, then you don't get to see me naked either." "Okay," Jacob smiled, pulling out his phone. "It's a new app I developed, you can say this is something like a trial run." He reached out with the phone and held the screen to Candice's face. She frowned again. "Oh come on, I was under Obedience By Victoria's control for months, like your…like your stupid app…stu…pid…can…con…trol…meeee…"
Hours later, Candice returned from her master's bedroom. "I've finished dusting your bedroom, master," she smiled. "That's a good girl," Jacob said. "Are you feeling any better?" "Oh yes, master," she giggled. "I'm sorry that I ever doubted you." "You're so sweet now," Jacob smiled, though he had to admit, he kind of missed the bitey Candice who'd mocked him in his living room. "Do you have any more commands for me, master?" "Commands?" "I cleaned your room as you ordered, I live to serve you, master." "Oh," Jacob frowned. "You were saying something about robbing a bank?"
A white eyes hypnomanip of model Candice Swanepoel. She is wearing a pair of French maid-inspired lingerie.
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joys-bookshelf · 1 year ago
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Rating: 4
"And fuck it, I'll just say it: taking Athena's manuscript felt like reparations, payback for the things that Athena took from me."
Wowza. This is one hell of an audacious undertaking of a book . . . and I loved it.
Summary. In Yellowface, we follow June Hayward and her friendship with Athena Liu-- both authors but June a rookie trying to break into the industry and Athena acclaimed and successful. When Athena dies from a freak accident, June steals Athena's newly finished manuscript, edits it, and publishes it as her own under an Asian-ambiguous surname. After years making lowly wages, she's finally experiencing Athena's life of glory, medals, and fame. However, the turmoil she faces within and with the emerging evidence that what she's written isn't her own, her audacious success might be short-lived.
Thoughts. R.F. Kuang tackles a variety of difficult themes, but a lot of them are done superficially, especially given the book's span of only ~320 pages. I felt like Kuang had so much to say but not enough space to write them all in. From the horrors of the publishing industry, self-worth in the shadows of friends/peers, to privileged minorities such as Athena who make their name and wealth at the expense of the suffering of others, Kuang hits them all. I do wish some of the themes were expanded on further in the book, but given the constraints, I don't put it against her.
Kuang's depiction of June's mental spiral from stealing Athena's manuscript at a split second to her paranoia of Athena's ghost being reality that she dents her facade was beautiful and absolute perfection. Even though I cringed at June's actions, I couldn't bring myself to put the book down and devoured it in two sittings.
My only caveat with the book was the ending. I thought it was quite rushed, and the resolution of Candice being the one to become victorious to it all didn't do it for me, and her character from beginning to end seemed out of nowhere. I also wished there was more closure with Mrs. Liu instead.
Nevertheless, Yellowface lives up to the hype. It tackles niche topics for the layreader and a broader issue in the publishing community where before was rarely spotlighted. 4/5 stars.
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ptolemveamoved · 1 year ago
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you offered me a beautiful , sappy , waterworks - inducing post on my birthday so it’s time that i return the favor . . . twenty4 better be the best fucking year of your life so far or i’m going after god himself . manifesting no more stomach bugs for the foreseeable future , too .  happy birthday , candice ! @dolledparts i think that all of us meet several soulmates over the course of our lives and i have absolutely no doubt that you’re one of mine . from the moment we started talking years ago , i felt connected to you , seen by you and even now , i’m still amazed at how in sync we are when it comes to pretty much everything . i tell you all the time that meeting you changed my writing for the better but you also changed me for the better and we’ve been by each other’s side through so many different stages . you’ve made me laugh when i needed to most , encouraged me when i needed it , provided company when i felt alone . . . i don’t think you even realize the full scope of how much you’ve done for me just by sending me tiktoks , spamming me with musings or offering to watch a movie with me . every time i think about how we met , it’s proof that the universe / god / etc . will send you someone important when you least expect it and i am ridiculously grateful that they gave me you . i’d suffer through every questionable experience we’ve had over the years five times over if it meant that i got to have you in my life . your writing is some of the best of the best and it’s truly an honor and a privilege to write with you ( even though we really don’t get to write much because our schedules are crazy … ) and i ascend whenever you compliment my writing or love my brain children — all of which seem to adore yours in varying capacities . i miss staying up late with you but i’m holding on to the idea of meeting up in person soon so that we can make everyone around us uncomfortable with our overuse of the words slay , b*tch and c*nt ; hopefully , ethel cain will be involved too . you truly mean so , so much to me and you’ve impacted my life greatly . i hope everyone who has the pleasure of having them in your life makes you feel special today and i hope this lovey dovey post makes you feel special , too . you’re definitely still a babie to me even though you’re 24 now but i trust you to drive me to bingo and tell the youngsters to get off my lawn for me when the time comes . i love you immensely and i’m grateful to know you and be in your life . please never change unless you continue to get better and better �� which admittedly , doesn’t seem realistic to me . have the best year yet because you deserve it ! i love you  candice / olivia coke / the only valid water sign / the other mother of my brain children / my movie watching buddy / my favorite dilf lover . <3
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