#can't you see it mr. frodo

[smoking-pipeweed]

LOTR | How they are when they're drunk

[ Lord of the Rings Masterlist ]

Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry, Aragorn, Boromir, Arwen, Legolas *reader is their S/O, gender-neutral Content warning * under the cut: suggestive themes (especially in Merry's) but no smut

Frodo

Oh this sweet boy gets real cocky and confident (canon in the books)

The alcohol breaks his shy boy exterior, and he becomes a hurricane of belly laughs and unbridled affection

Comes running over to you during a party at Hobbiton, throwing himself into your arms and slamming his lips onto yours

You almost fall over from shock, tasting beer on his tongue

"Come now, dance with me love?!" he excitedly exclaimed while starting to drag you

You glance at the other hobbits at the table to help save you from your drunk boyfriend's antics, but Sam was holding back a laugh from Frodo's abrupt behaviour, urging you on to go with him

You giggled while he danced awkwardly while trying to keep balance on his feet, holding onto you for slight support

"Alright, Mr. master of Bag End, I think it's time we get you home before all of Hobbiton make more gossip from you," you say to him later while he lays his head on your shoulder, rubbing his head against your cheek

He hums and sits up while giving you a lazy smile, eyes still glossy

He lets you drag him home, feed him some water despite his drunken refusal, and help him lie down in bed

All done while you try to pry his hands off of you while he laughs and begs for some kisses from you

Samwise

He becomes super protective of you

Like more so than usual

Doesn't leave your side, gets stressed when you wander too far and doesn't like it when other people stare at you a little too long.

You start to wonder if his drinking is bad for his stress levels, considering how attached to your side he seems to get

"Babe, I'm okay! I'm just grabbing some food for us from the share table." "Okay... don't be gone too long, please."

It gets worse in taverns, especially where there are a lot of larger men and elves and not so many hobbits.

He will keep a good hold of your hand when walking through the busy room, keeping you close to him.

"Honey, I think you've had enough to drink. You tried following me to the bathroom!"

Very much prefers to have some drinks at home with you, so he doesn't get all stressed.

He becomes a broken dam of stories, facts and always ends the night by pulling out his many maps and books of Middle-earth to show and teach you.

You drag him to bed when his eyes start drooping and his words slur even further than before

He happily obliges and tucks his face into your chest in bed, passing out immediately

Pippin

An absolute menace

You hearing something crash and burn in the distance? It's drunk pippin

Kind of feels like babysitting when he's had a little too much

"Babe, I can't let Merry win! I gotta beat his 12-second score!"

"Peregrine, please get off the barrel before you break a foot."

He and Merry are ruthless on the drinks. Just blink, and suddenly they've drunk a whole barrel between them

Also gets real cheeky with you with no shame

Like pinching your ass when walking past, earning a light smack on the head from you

Or when you're sitting at bar stools and he's seeing how high on your thigh he can creep his hand before you give him a look

Take him home, and he turns into a baby

Head on your lap and demanding you run your fingers through his curls

You swear you hear him purring when you do it

"Pippin, honey, I just want to read my book." "How can you be reading when you have ME in front of you?"

Eventually quietens and passes out in your lap with his arms wrapped tightly around your middle

Merry

Try and escape his advances, it's literally impossible

Becomes so unbelievably horny for you

Like an actual animal

By the time he's had like five drinks, he's DRAGGING you home

"Merry, you can't leave early just because you want sex." "WHAT? How dare you assume I'm leaving just for that! I'm actually very tired, excuse you."

Yeah... that story changes when you get home

As soon as the round door shuts, he has you pushed against it, lips against yours and quick hands going under your shirt

You indulge for a little, you'd be lying if you didn't enjoy this side of him, even a little bit

"Honey, you're very sweet, but you're very drunk and need some rest." "Ughhh but you're so prettyyyy~"

Still tries his luck while you're getting ready for bed, like grabbing you and pulling you against him while you're halfway through getting changed

Or his kisses on your neck turning into flirty bites until you push him off

Gets into bed all whiny but falls asleep quickly

You make it up to him in the morning~

Aragorn

He doesn't get drunk often

But you can tell when he is because he suddenly will act so vulnerable around you

A big telling sign is if you're talking to someone, he'll come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and rest his forehead on your shoulder

Once the person is gone, you turn to him

"Starting to feel it a bit huh love?"

He nods with a slight groan

He follows you to get some water for himself

Likes it better when it's just you and him, cause then he lets himself loose and gets looked after by you

Likes to smoke his pipe after drinking

If you're staying in an inn, his drunken self INSISTS that he stay up and keep watch

You have to reassure him that he's safe and there's no need

He takes some convincing, maybe even dragging him out of the chair, but he does eventually agree and lets you pull him into the sheets

You help him get his ranger garments off while he enjoys it a little too much, he tries to unbutton your shirt and pants, and you lightly slap his hands away each time

Falls asleep with you tucked against his chest and his chin on your head

Boromir

He gets quite emotional

At first, with all his friends, he is very loud and social, the more he drinks

Super confident, the life of the party and the commander of Gondor's Army

But behind closed doors with you is where his flaws appear

He tries to remain his strong, stoic, proud sel,f but gets a little teary when you rub up and down his rough and scarred back while you're both in the bath together after the big night out

You kiss his tears away, already knowing the drill from other times he's drunk a lot

"You make everything so much quieter and simple." he mumbles against your neck, where you've pushed him

"It's okay baby, you can cry."

He sometimes brings up his father's treatment of Faramir, or his stresses around commanding the Gondor's Army, or the weight of being the steward of Gondor on his shoulders

All you can do is hold him as he rants and cries, giving sweet, loving kisses all over his beautiful face and tracing scars that litter his skin

holy fuck i love this man

Arwen

(AN: I know it's basically impossible for elves to get drunk but lets pretend for this imagines' sake)

Arwen loses her natural shyness and elegance and becomes much more outspoken, confident and sure in herself

She is not afraid to say what she is thinking in the moment, becoming super blunt

This always puts you on edge because you think she's going to say something out of pocket to the wrong person

"Arwen meleth-nin, I think it's time to head back to our room. I think you upset the last man a bit with your harsh rejection."

"Perhaps he ought to have reconsidered his boldness, especially with you so close."

She becomes all soft and cuddly with you when you're by yourself

She sways with you for a little in the moonlight, wanting to make use of the time you have together

Although she can get touchy after a minute, wanting a reaction out of you

You pick her up and lay her down in bed, earning a laugh from her

She slowly slips into a slumber while you brush your fingers through her flawless hair, humming a sweet tune of an old elven song she taught you

Legolas

(AN: this is more book legolas than movie legolas)

It's like his entire spirit comes alive

You'll find him swinging on branches upside down, singing loud elven songs into the night and diving into streams

Can hardly keep up with his drunken shenanigans

Also finds everything hilarious, like say anything to him and he doesn't stop laughing for five minutes

When with other people, he tries to get you two alone

Whether bringing you back to a quieter room in the back of the tavern or taking you outside

He likes to have his alone chats with you when he's a little tipsy

Always checking if you're okay

Once he's checked on you like four separate times in one hour, you realise he's had a little too much

You take him home despite his protests

By the time you've made it home (with many side adventures of him hearing a bird and wanting to look at it or swearing that the trees are trying to fight him), he is exhausted

He crashes into bed next to you, tangling his legs with yours and wrapping himself around you

[twistedpink]

Pardon my sleep deprived brain, been thinking about Coworker Leona on a set for a show and I'm salivating. You gave me ingredients and I cooked a meal for you Hun! Enjoy!

Ps. I'm being nice to him again! Am I okay?

The chemistry is easy between you and Coworker Leona. To easy.

I mean, can anyone blame you for it? He literally loads the gun and you fire with all the banter and witty replies you both share. The director has to remind you both to cool it cause you can't have more chemistry than the main cast. As if that's ever stopped other shows from having minor characters that the fan base just sinks their teeth into. The tenth time you are asked to not "stare each other down like you wanted to rip each other clothes off" (a fan's words not yours or his surely ;) ) you both are banned from the set for a few days. Too bad the tabloids get a front row seat to a coffee date instead, doing nothing to quiet the shipping wars happening online.

Footsie is a natural part of your relationship as coworkers, if anyone asks it's war. You sip a smoothie while he munches on some barbequed meat on a stick from a food cart near the set. Both of you stewing over being overlooked again for main casting as the usual box office beefcakes and long legs take front and center. It was a familiar dance that came with the territory of being second rate. At least the footsie game was pleasing, maybe even a bit comforting to know neither of you were in this alone. Special attention was still attention after all.

Not that anyone has the balls to break you both up with your camera presence. You both had become something of a joke on sets. Bonnie and Clyde, Romeo and Juliet, Frodo and Sam... Yeah you both cringed at each comparison. Greedy greedy money makers are always looking to mooch off of you both but unwilling (cowards) to give you both center stage and to really let the sparks fly. Just one chance Mr. Director!

Coworker Leona who makes it a point to flirt/ make his move with the other cast memebers to try to get out...until he sees he's been boxed in. Cue a sulking lion you now have been tasked with to cheer up or at least poke at till he can do his scenes properly. At the end of the day you always had his back no matter who was watching and it came through on screen.

Coworker Leona who growls out obscene things as you listen to him rant with a mouth a mother would faint at. Sometimes you wonder just what made him so bitter, but you'd never asked.

Coworker Leona who surprisingly gossips despite his quiet nature and rough exterior. You hadn't expected him to be interested in Vil's latest success (being recast as the villain again) and openly jeering the blonde when he walks by. Okay maybe not gossiping but verbal sparring like the mastermind he is. Sometimes you wonder why you dare to go toe to toe with him if it could mean being shredded by his tongue, but where's the fun in that?

Coworker Leona who drags you off between takes to "practice" but it's well known he's "talking" with you to burn off the tension and maybe just give the fans more to speculate about. If neither of you could make it big on screen, at least you'd blow up the internet with hints here and there. Swollen lips and flushed cheeks always had everyone and their mother talking.

At the end of the day both you and Coworker Leona hang out after completing a season of the show you're working on. Neither of you know if you'll get called back cause you were such menaces, but ...who doesn't love some good publicity. Even if it comes from the underdogs. Maybe the writers will wise up and give the fans what they want. A steamy scene with their favorite duo perhaps?

EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

[alightindarkplaces]

To the complete surprise of both hobbits [the rope] came loose. Sam fell over, and the long grey coils slithered silently down on top of him. Frodo laughed. 'Who tied the rope?' he said. 'A good thing it held as long as it did! To think I trusted all my weight to your knot!'

Sam did not laugh. 'I may not be much good at climbing, Mr. Frodo,' he said in injured tones, 'but I do know something about rope and about knots. It's in my family, as you might say. Why, my grand-dad, and my uncle Andy after him, him that was the Gaffer's eldest brother, he had a rope-walk over by Tighfield many a year. And I put as fast a hitch over the stump as any one could have done, in the Shire or out of it.'

'Then the rope must have broken- frayed on the rock-edge, I expect,' said Frodo.

'I bet it didn't!' said Sam in an even more injured voice. He stooped to examine the ends. 'Nor it hasn't neither. Not a strand!'

'Then I'm afraid it must have been the knot,' said Frodo.

Sam shook his head and did not answer. He was passing the rope through his fingers thoughtfully. 'Have it your own way, Mr. Frodo,' he said at last, 'but I think the rope came off itself- when I called.' He coiled it up and stowed it lovingly in his pack.

'It certainly came,' said Frodo.

What a cunt (affectionate.) A rare argument between the two, wherein Frodo is incredibly disrespectful and hilarious. I don't have an analysis right now but I needed to see this on my blog. These two are so funny I can't stand it! Also, Frodo laughs compilation, and especially, Frodo laughs at Sam's antics, or laughs at Sam, in this case.

[daughteroftheteleri]

A little Christmas gift for you all

Wow guys, I can't believe the year is practically over. I've had such an amazing time on this account, I've made some amazing friends, reblogged so many amazing things from other members of this wonderful community, and received more love and appreciation than I ever expected I would over my fanfics and fanart - thank you, all of you, for this year and warm welcome you've given me to this website. My Christmas gift to you is a bit of festive bagginshield reshirement drabble (with no plot in sight) that hasn't been beta'd but was fun to write:

"Hold still, Uncle Thorin!" Frodo chastised the dwarf below him, who merely grunted in response as he fought to keep his balance with the fauntling perched on his shoulders. "I'm not done yet!"

"I don't know about this," Bilbo stood nearby nervously, wringing his hands. "I'd hate for you to fall, Frodo."

"What, don't you trust me, my love?" Thorin teased, earning him a playful eye roll from his husband. He could see the sassy retort already forming on the hobbit’s lips, but their nephew cut him off with a triumphant declaration:

"There! All done!"

Thorin bent down, allowing Frodo to jump off his shoulders. Straightening up, he nodded in approval at the sprig of mistletoe the little hobbit had tied onto the arched doorway. "Well done. But I believe we should still test it out, right, Bilbo?"

"I certainly think we should," his husband smirked as Thorin pulled him into an embrace. As they kissed, Thorin savoured the moment, taking his time to appreciate the warmth of his one in his arms, the taste of the gingerbread they had made earlier still fresh on his lips. Thorin did his best to ignore the gagging sounds Frodo was making.

The sound of the doorbell pulled them apart, but even without him in his arms, the gorgeous smile that Bilbo shot him filled Thorin with warmth regardless. "That'll be the Gamgees."

Upon opening the door, Frodo immediately grabbed Sam's hand and pulled him away to play in Bag End’s snow covered garden. Thorin left his husband to entertain the other Gamgee family members while he followed the fuantlings outside.

The two best friends were engaged in an intense snowball fight. Thorin was proud to see that Frodo was winning, as he lobbed a projectile at the blond hobbit while his back was turned.

"Ow!” Sam rubbed his head indignantly. “That is not fair, Mister Baggins!”

"Sam, stop calling me that! We're not boring grown ups," Frodo laughed. Thorin lit his pipe, watching the scene unfolding before him with fond amusement. "Call me Frodo!"

"Ok, Mr...um..." Sam stumbled over the words awkwardly. "Mr…Mr Frodo."

"Close enough!" Frodo giggled, and the fight resumed.

The two continued to throw balls of snow at each other until Frodo, his raven hair speckled with white, paused mid throw. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then promptly shut it again, grabbing Sam's hand. He dragged both of them over to Thorin, who snuffed out his pipe, curious as to what inspired Frodo's sudden silence and wide eyed look.

"Uncle Thorin," The fuantling whispered in awe, pointing just beyond the fence. "There's a reindeer here!"

Thorin squinted at the brown shape his nephew was gesturing towards. The dwarf couldn't see well at the best of times, let alone in the gathering darkness of the winter dusk while flecks of snow fell softly down. Carefully, he crept closer, keeping his footfall quiet. Thorin wasn't nearly as good at sneaking as his husband was, (he could admit that), but he could still move with a surprising degree of stealth when the situation demanded it.

The shape grew more defined as he got closer, and a smile tugged at the dwarf's lips. It wasn't a reindeer, but a young faun, with red brown fur and big, nervous eyes.

"It's a reindeer, right, Uncle Thorin?" Frodo's tiny hand had found his own.

"Indeed it is," The dwarf smiled, unwilling to dampen his nephews’s enthusiasm or discourage his imagination. "Come now, it's getting cold. Back inside, the both of you."

They returned just in time to hear the doorbell ring again. Bilbo, returning from delivering cups of hot cocoa to the rest of the Gamgees, exchanged a confused glance with Thorin. They were not expecting anyone else over for yule this year. Before they could wonder any further, a playful shout from behind the door interrupted them:

"Hurry up and open the door, it's freezing out here!"

With a delighted laugh, Bilbo pulled open the door. Thorin couldn't keep the goofy smile off of his face as Fili and Kili piled in and pulled him into a tight hug, which he returned fiercely.

"I thought the road over the Misty Mountains was not safe for you to travel through this year?" Bilbo asked when they had finally separated.

"Pfft! As if a little snow is going to keep us from seeing our favourite cousin!" Kili replied joyfully. "Where's Frodo?"

"I'm here!" Frodo ran into the waiting arms of Fili, who scooped him up and onto his shoulders. "Wait a minute! Aren't I your only cousin?"

Thorin laughed alongside the others before a serene, feminine voice drew his eyes back to the door. "What, do I not get a hug as well, brother?"

Dis stood framed by the doorway, her fur coat speckled with snow and her midnight green eyes sparkling with warmth and affection. Thorin ran to her, pulling her into a tight hug which she returned gratefully.

"I'm glad you could make it, sister," he murmured into her hair. She just giggled, pulling away from him and lightly punching his shoulder.

"Like my youngest said. No amount of snow is ever going to keep us from visiting you during Yule."

"I hope you still have our presents!" Fili joked, Frodo swaying dangerously on his shoulders. Bilbo swatted him away, a faux scowl on his face.

"Drop my nephew and I'll replace them all with lumps of coal," he playfully snapped. As soon as Frodo was safely back down on the ground, Thorin’s husband led their new guests into the lounge, where the yule tree stood proudly beside the fireplace. Everyone began to settle into comfortable chairs around the hearth, save the fuantlings, who sat on the ground playing, and Fili and Kili, who had decided to play with them. Bilbo, noticing that only one person had yet to join them, turned back to his husband and held out his hand expectantly. "Are you coming, Thorin?"

Filled with contentment, Thorin took his hand, lovingly weaving their fingers together. "Of course, Amrâlimê."

[themarysuep]

So I just saw the new looks for the upcoming TV Shows especially Daredevil Born Agaian and Marvel Zombies.

What are you're thoughts on them and also how do you think Mr Khan gets involved in the plot of Born Again

Also what do you think will happen to Kamala in Marvel zombies since she is the 'Frodo' of the story (And we did get our semi first look at her in the trailer)

I saw them!! Super excited for more Kamala. The Daredevil: Born Again trailer is a bit clearer now. Honestly, Matt might be at Yusuf's office? Or it could this be a holding cell / jail? The lighting is so dark I can't tell if it's an office or some government facility. I don't get how Kamala could have legal trouble with Fury on her side. I'd think she and Kamran would have an agreement with the government. Maybe Kate is pressing charges bc Kamala broke into her apartment 💀. It could also be another family member with legal trouble that Yusuf is helping. I'm hoping whatever it is results in Kamala appearing for the final fight.

Marvel Zombies looks cool too. We got the smallest look at Kamala lol. I think Marvel even removed her from their official accounts trailers for some reason? It's a really short show so I'd be interested in just seeing her without her family. Family is so important to Kamala that even in future comics, she has a husband and kids. So if her family is already dead, it would be something mostly unexplored by Marvel. I wanna see a bit of her and Zombie!Carol too. I think Kamala is a survivor. She died 2x, she was in a coma, she was "reborn" twice after being exposed to terrigen. I think a survival type show is totally up her alley.

What are your thoughts? 👀

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: A Shortcut to Mushrooms

"[Frodo] was lying in a bower made by a living tree with branches laced and drooping to the ground; his bed was of fern and grass, deep and soft and strangely fragrant. The sun was shining through the fluttering leaves, which were still green upon the tree." HELLO I WANT A BED LIKE THIS HOLY COW

LOL Pippin like "I would've eaten all the bread and not saved any for you if Sam didn't stop me" 🤣

"I don't want to answer a string of questions while I am eating. I want to think!" "Good heavens! At breakfast?" Have I mentioned that I love Frodo and Pippin—

Frodo sees his kid cousin running in the grass and singing and thinks to himself "🥺 oh I can't possibly take him and Sam into danger with me, look at them"

I love Frodo's entire conversation with Sam here. If I tried to list my favorite lines, I'd be copying the whole thing. Frodo doesn't want to put Sam in danger, because he loves him, but Sam is extremely loyal and willing to walk into hellfire for Frodo, because he loves him. It's just such a sweet exchange that tells you so much about these characters. I'm love them boys.

Also Frodo being surprised that Sam's become so philosophical haha

Frodo: "We'd best get going; we slept late." Pippin: "You mean you slept late." HAVE I MENTIONED—

Frodo: "I'm not going to take the road. I'll cut straight across country to the Ferry." Pippin: "What, can you fly??"

Pippin: "Short cuts make long delays! Besides, I was hoping to stop at the inn for some good beer." Frodo: "Well, that settles it! Short cuts make long delays, but inns make longer ones."

Also Sam stalwartly like "I'll go with you, Mr. Frodo," but also inwardly like ":-C but the beer tho"

And now we return to another hiking section, about which I have very little to say except that Tolkien's description of the natural environments of the Shire is extremely beautiful and I too would want to hike there

And now we interrupt your regularly scheduled pleasant hike for some bone-chilling horror

It's hard to imagine in the modern age—when tornado sirens and jet planes and faulty car brakes all probably make noises not unlike that of a Ringwraith's call—but to hobbits who have never heard a noise louder or more frightening than a thunderclap, a high, sustained, almost industrial screech like this must seem like the most terrifying and otherworldly thing.

(Also nobody tell Pippin about the white bellbird, which has a call like the emergency alert system at a volume comparable to a pneumatic drill)

Pippin: "Oh good, it's Farmer Maggot :-D" Frodo: "OH NO IT'S FARMER MAGGOT D-8"

It's such a shame that we know so little of Frodo's childhood, but the fact that he was a Certified Scoundrel(TM) who was prone to stealing mushrooms and got his butt whooped over it is absolutely hilarious 🤣 How ever did a naughty kid like him become the erudite sweetheart we know and love??

Pippin like "chill bro, he's a mutual friend of mine and Merry's, we're good!" Meanwhile Frodo is sweating buckets LOL

It's so cool that Pippin gets to be the leader in this section. And what a fearless leader he is! Of course he's not in any danger at all, but it just says so much about him that he waltzes down the lane to Farmer Maggot's house without a care in the world while Frodo and Sam are both terrified 🤣

Also I adore Farmer Maggot's hospitality

Sam giving Farmer Maggot the side eye because he whooped Frodo over the mushrooms years ago X-D

"I recollect the time when young Frodo Baggins was one of the worst young rascals of Buckland." I MEAN JUST IMAGINE

Farmer Maggot's story about the Ringwraith is SO GOOD. I love how much courage this round old hobbit has in him.

Farmer Maggot: "Moral of the story, ya never should've gone to Hobbiton. Clearly ya got mixed up with weird people." Sam: >:-C

Also Farmer Maggot cheerfully being like "don't worry, if they come after ya again, I'll deal with 'em for ya!" is so sweet and so ballsy X-D

Also Farmer Maggot is SO FREAKING SMART, and so generous. I think it's Merry who says later that he's got a lot more going on in his head than his genial appearance might let on, and he's right. He can see that Frodo and co. are in trouble, and he immediately offers his help. What a solid dude.

And here we see Frodo's silver tongue at work once again!

"I've been in terror of you and your dogs for over thirty years... It's a pity: for I've missed a good friend."

This line actually made me stop and think, bruh. How many friendships do we miss out on because we let the mistakes of our younger selves dictate our future?? I can think of lots of dumb things I did as a kid, and I'd be so embarrassed to run into the people that I wronged in my stupidity...but who knows? Maybe they're good people. Maybe they'd even be my best friends, if I got over myself. Food for thought.

And speaking of food, I want to have dinner with Farmer Maggot and his family and farm hands X-D

Ohhhh the suspense of the hoof-falls in the foggy lane is SOOO GOOD

WHO'S THAT POKEMON??

IT'S MERRY BRANDYBUCK!!

And his humor is in absolute top form LOLOL

"When it grew foggy I came across and rode up towards Stock to see if you had fallen in any ditches. ... Where did you find them, Mr. Maggot? In your duck-pond?"

HAVE I MENTIONED THAT MERRY IS MY FAVORITE HOBBIT

Also, the fact that Mrs. Maggot packed a basket of mushrooms for Frodo makes me very happy X-D

[haganezukawaifu]

Rosa Dolce Chapter 2

~ Previous ~ Masterlist ~ Next ~

Bella. The same Bella since I was six. The same Bella I use to play with in the park and sleepover. I haven't seen her since she moved to Arizona. I always wonder how she was doing. She looks just like Renee except without short brown hair.

"Now today's topic is themes," Mr. Mason said. 

Everyone in the class groaned, maybe the class anticipated watching a movie based on a book we read. "Now class, themes are significant in English and  literature." I sat up intrigued. "Theme is the idea, concept, or lesson that repeats throughout a story. It relates to the protagonist's journey. It lies deep in their concerns, passions-their soul. Take "The Alchemist" for example, Santiago's desire to seek buried treasure, or in "Lord of the Rings", Frodo's only motivation was to destroy the one ring," Mr. Mason explained. 

"But that's not all, poems also have themes. Give Mr. Poe for example. His work "The Raven." I'm sure someone in the class can quote a line from The Raven," Mr. Mason said. The class was silent. "Come on. Anyone?" No one answers or bothers to raise their hand. I sigh as I fiddle with my pen. As I look down at my desk and said the line;

"Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing." 

 I could feel all eyes were on me at this moment.

"Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;

But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,

And the only word there was spoken was the whisper word, "Lenore?"

This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore?"-

Merely this and nothing more."

Silence fills the room once again as everyone looks at me, some awe. "Very well Ms. Anderson. Now class," Mr. Mason as he continues to teach. I notice that Bella is staring at me, and I turn to look out of the window. After the last 3 to 5 minutes of being in English, you think English class can't end fast enough. In class, I wasn't often outspoken, but only in subjects I was passionate about like literature. Oh, how I adore it. For the last 45 minutes, the bell rang but not before Mr. Mason assign us a book to read for the week. As I gathered my belonging, I heard a sudden and surprising voice.

"Christine."

I looked up and it was Bella right in front of me. "H-Hey," she said. "Hey." "It has been a while since we have last seen each other," Bella said as she grip the strips in her bag. 

'It has been years.'

"Yeah. I thought you were moved to Arizona with Ms.Renée." "Mom got remarried and she couldn't spend much time with Phil so I decided to live here with Charlie," Bella said. I see. Make sense, her father Charlie Swan is the Chief of Police in Forks. "H-How about you? I wasn't aware you were staying here now," she reply. I sigh in response. "It wasn't my idea to move here but Cordelia decided to open up a flower shop here," I said as I gripped my books in my hand. She hmm in response. There was silence between us. We haven't seen in years. Before I could say anything, I was interrupted. 

"You're Isabella Swan, aren't you."

From the sound of it, it sounded like Eric and it was Eric, another classmate of mine.  "Bella," she corrected him as he nod. "Right. Hey Christine," he said. "Right. Um, I guess I will see you around, Bella. Who knows we might have another class together but we should catch up." "Yeah sure," she replies with a nod in response. I smiled before walking out of Mr. Mason's class and heading my way to my Trigonometry and Calculus class taught by Mr. Vanner. Math. Ugh. Mr.Vanner seems to want to make the class harder than it seems, but it isn't. In terms of that, I'm probably the smartest student in the class. If not the first, then maybe the second or third.

As soon as I arrived at my class, I sat in my usual seat. Following the final bell rang, Mr. Vanner announced that there will be a pop quiz.

'A pop quiz on a Monday. How typical to start the day.'

But it was nothing new for Mr. Vanner. Give us a pop quiz on something conceiving or something we don't know, then teach the class about it for four days and then the actual test will be Friday. Mr. Vanner held out the paper and as soon as I took a look at the paper, it was about the Pythagoras Theorem. There were only 5 questions. I already know it.

'This should go by fast as always.'

I answered every equation easily and finished. I stood up and walked to Mr. Vanner's desk but as soon as I place my paper on the desk, another paper was beside mine. And the owner of the paper was Cullen. Edward Cullen. I look at him as he looks at me with those golden eyes and nods his head and walks away. I did the same but with a small smile. Edward and I were always the first to finish. Then it would be Angela. But the crazy part is that I don't know much about him. He's like a closed book in my case. The family moves here two years ago from Alaska, and the moment they came, they became the talk of the town you can say. Our first interaction was quite awkward, the only time we spoke was when we both had a history together and we both were partners. He wasn't much of a talker last year.

'He's not much of a talker this year either.'

Soon as the quiz was finished, Mr. Vanner reviewed the quiz in hand and taught us the formula, as if I didn't know it. After the last 45 minutes in class, the bell rang and it was time for Biology. Then it was Government. When will this day ever end, I thought to myself. And now it's time for lunch. I grabbed my lunch and sat at my usual table... by myself. I always sit at the same table by myself and eat my lunch and read. It's more peaceful that way and I can enjoy my book. I grabbed my book and started reading. It was a classic called "Little Woman." I quite enjoyed it. As I was reading, I saw someone approaching my table and standing there. I looked up and it was Bella.

"Hey," she said. "Hey, Bella." "Umm... You mind if I sit here," she asked. I nod my head in response as she sat down in front of me. "I'm surprised you're not seated with Mike, Jessica, and the rest." "I was until I notice you were seated by yourself and wanted to catch up. So what book are you reading," she asks. I lift the book and say "Little Woman." She nods her head in response before she looks down and starts fiddling with her tray. I close my book and place it on the side. "So, what do you want to catch up about?" "Well, how have you been? How's Cordelia and Anthony," she asked.

'Oh.'

"I have been doing good. Cordelia is doing well. Anthony, he moves out when I turn 14. I haven't heard much from him or seen him since then." Bella nods her head. "And you. How was life in Phoenix." "Phoenix is great. Kinda missing it right now," she said. "Not used to rain and wet weather huh." Bella shook her head. I don't blame her. In California, I was used to the heat and it only rained so often but now I move here, all I see is rain. Boy, do I hate it? "You know Jessica and Mike told me something," she mentions.

'Oh boy.'

Immediately, it caught my attention, I knew what she was saying. "Let me guess. Did they mention I was a witch?" Bella looked a bit surprised when I revealed it before she did. I chuckled at her reaction. "Before you say anything, I'm not. I swear you work in a plant shop and people think you're a witch." "So how come they think you are," Bella said. I sigh at the question. New students are normally warned about me.

'I'm surprised that Jessica and Mike haven't told her why.'

"A girl in my sophomore year climbed a rope during gym class and I watched her while everyone did their own thing. She was climbing so high and my eyes couldn't leave her. Suddenly she stopped, then got dizzy. She start to let go of the rope and fell. Someone caught her, but one person said I probably caused her to fall because I watched. Since then, I was known as the 'witch'. Ridiculous thing if you ask me. Not to mention the cylinder incident." As my head flops down on the table, I sigh. "Everyone thinks I did that when honestly the heat was too high and it exploded." I sigh as I mumble down. I think that is the most I've ever explained myself. Soon I heard Bella sigh. "Well...I don't believe you're a witch." I gave her a soft smile before I nodded. "Thanks."

'At least someone doesn't think I am.'

Then the bell rang. Lunch is over already. "The bell. What's your next class." "Umm biology," she said. "If you like I can take you there. I have Spanish next. And I don't know, maybe after school, I can show you the flower shop. I'm sure Cordelia would be happy to see you." "Uh sure," she responded with a nod. We gather our things and exit the cafeteria. It was nice to talk to someone at lunch. I honestly haven't done that in forever. So maybe things might change.

or will they...

[thegreatobsesso]

The last two days have been bad. I've been seeing the there's some good in this world, mr. frodo, and it's worth fighting for going around and I love to see it, but I'm in a much more what can men do against such reckless hate kind of space.

I wake up in the morning and think, why get up? I do anyways and I make coffee because that's what I do in the morning. I sign into work, I sign out of work. I stop myself from thinking about more than the next half hour and what I will do in that half hour inside my home. I don't have any more than that.

I don't have the energy to think about the horrors that are coming up, the ones we can predict and the ones we can't. I inevitably end up thinking of them, but I start going down the path and my brain slams the doors shut to protect itself, and I'm letting it have that.

Brain doesn't do that unless it needs to. Some things need to be fed to it in small doses. That's alright. I'm alright in the sense that I'm not going to hurt myself or anyone else. But I'm not good. I'm very scared and very sad, and surprised that I'm surprised.

I guess that's all. @ anyone, message me if you want to talk, vent, rage. One thing I can say is I know I'm far from alone.

[ach-sss-no]

SH liveblog Ch15

First chapter & explanation | Previous chapter

Oh this is the Déagol dies chapter.

This is Part Three. I resisted utterly the characterization of Gollum as two characters in one body but quoted The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde anyway.

I set this scene in Deagol's POV for two reasons:

He's barely a character and it sucks for him that he exists to be fridged and I'm giving so much time and attention to his killer

I wanted to be differentTM

Déagol and Sméagol are having an argument about leaving the village.

"If you're leaving this village you're leaving it alone, my love!" They often referred to each other by such appellations. It had started off as a sarcastic game, after Déagol's mam had told them to stop being so rude to each other. Maybe it still was a game. They didn't really know why they did it anymore. Perhaps it was due to having no one else that would tolerate them taking such liberties.

I feel like I'm overexplaining a detail from canon that didn't warrant an explanation.

"How wild is it?" Déagol whined. "I just want to leave this stinking place, and all of the other awful piddling little settlements, and follow the River a bit, and if we find any travelers, we might get something nice from them. You're strong and quick, it would be easy for you. It wouldn't be so easy for me, with my bad leg. Have pity!"

Oh Deagol wants to be a highwayman??? What

''Have pity" to the character who will murder him and then end up groveling for pity is- super blatant, but creepy?

Timeskip to river scene. Anaaaannnd Deagol dies!

He will not let go, Déagol realized. Thief! THIEF! His last living thought was: How I hate him!

At the last he's more preoccupied with the loss of the Ring than with his own murder because the Ring is like that.

Cut to Gandalf and Pippin in present day. Their mild affection is- quite a contrast to Sméagol and Déagol, who were sniping at each other and both seemed like desperately unhappy people.

"Well, Mr. Took," he said, "and why do you wish to do so?" "Why," said Pippin, "I don't see enough of good old Boromir these days, and he'll be along. And I suppose I feel as though if Frodo can't go, it would be a good thing if someone else can, sort of in his stead, and it makes sense for that to be me, I think." "Frodo is no longer responsible for Sméagol. You, certainly, never were."

This carries a note of 'don't meddle in something no one wants to be involved in and certain others would give their right ear to get out of'

And after all I suppose I am a bit curious about him. [...]" "Ah," said Gandalf. "I must warn you, he is not likely to respond in a manner that pleases you if you interrogate him. I found that experience dreadful."

To be fair I don't think Gollum had fun either.

Tl;DR Pippin is going along and that is that. And so is Merry. Because he thinks he might as well.

They spent the time waiting in pleasant conversation. Merry and Pippin first wanted to know if Boromir was drinking his tea every day the way he should be. He was. Then the hobbits talked about whatever they liked, and Boromir listened. He was intensely interested these days in old Took family stories, outdated Shire gossip, and anything that had nothing to do with Denethor or with Gondor or even with Men.

Boromir stuffs his complicated family history into the back of the cabinet for a little while to have a break

Eardwulf shows up with Gollum.

"He's being carried!" Pippin exclaimed. And by choice, judging from how he was hanging onto the Man and babbling away to him. "Yes, he is. He is quite able to walk," said Boromir, "though his fashion of motion looks strange, at times. He was weak for a time and had to be carried, and it seems he has grown to enjoy such attentions from those he trusts." This reminded Pippin that he himself had unexpectedly become too big to be carried by friendly Big People, at least, not unless it was an emergency, and he felt a bit sad. He'd once enjoyed riding on Boromir's shoulders.

:'(

Boromir explained that Smeagol is carried around in part because once you set him down, you don't know where he is anymore.

"I am told he is easily distracted and will wander away to explore, and he creeps behind objects, or underneath them, and he is unexpectedly swift, and he has a knack for becoming muddy or wet."

Sméagol sort of re-introduces his new self to Merry and Pippin, who are now in formal armor and a bit more intimidating to him than they have been up to now.

He made a motion as if he wanted to dart forward, then caught himself. He looked around, suddenly wary, and he eyed Pippin's armor with awe and a bit of alarm. [...] "Pippin is a Guard of the Citadel," said Merry. "And I am a guard of Pippin for the day." "A guard, is he? Of this big place, the city of Men?" Gollum stared up at him. He looked very much as if he thought Pippin the one who was a figure from a tale, and himself quite ordinary. "Very well, if he says he is. Hobbits can do anything, can't they? Next they will be telling Sméagol hobbits can fly," he said, in a lower tone, to himself, "and he'll believe them, my precious." [...] "Is that it, my precious? No, no, they didn't come and see us, but they are here now! They are both here!" Gollum chortled to himself- a strange sound in his throat, like the burbling of a stream. "And Boromir is here too!

Weird chortling! He's learning new noises!

Gollum also introduces Eardwulf to Merry and Pippin, but instead of doing so normally, he does it while Eardwulf is talking to Boromir and in kind of the way a little kid will walk up to you and start announcing something they think is important, without any context whatsoever.

Something cold and wet touched Pippin's leg. He jumped, then looked down to see that Gollum had nudged him. "Eardwulf looks after us," said Gollum. "I see!" said Pippin. "He was carrying you, wasn't he?" "He says we doesn't weigh hardly anything, precious," said Gollum. "Poor skinny Sméagol! But- he is a strong Man, eh?" Eardwulf stood there stiffly and said nothing.  "Hello, Eardwulf!" said Pippin. "I'm Peregrin, son of Paladin. I'm very pleased to meet you."

The pleasantries over, they set off.

Gollum sat on the ground and observed Merry and Pippin. He seemed in no hurry to budge from where he was. [he's having fun lol] "Come on, then!" said Pippin, beckoning awkwardly.

They do successfully leave.

"Sméagol expects to see orcses today," Gollum said, leaning conspiratorially close to Pippin. There was a scent of rotting meat on his breath.

Ah lovely. And inevitable.

The premise here is that Gollum is being taken to a tunnel that had orcs in it but they left. They're taking him there just to see what he'll do, and whether or not it's at all possible to work with him even enough to bring him somewhere in a cart.

Gollum thinks the tunnel is probably not really abandoned because orcs would have snuck back into it after the Men thought it was clear and left.

"Say, you haven't got a sword, Sméagol," said Merry. "I've never heard of you ever having one either. Is there any particular reason you don't have one?" "Ha, ha! Does he think Boromir would give us one?" He glanced over at Boromir under half-lidded eyes. Boromir returned the glance. Merry studied him. "Say, I don't know," he said, "would you, Boromir?" "In fact, I attempted it," said Boromir.

Boromir gives an excuse but I'm pretty sure he just looked at Gollum and thought 'tiny. tiny man needs sword.'

Gollum and Boromir have had enough establishment together that they can now believably act friendly with each other when viewed by a 3rd party POV, with no more need to explain their motivations for enjoying each others' company by being inside their heads.

The conversation continues.

He withdrew a folded piece of paper and unfolded it, primly smoothing out the creases. "They asked us about our family." "Why yes, we did ask that," Pippin said.

Oh they did ask that. That was many chapters ago.

Gollum's tried to draw a family tree of his village.

"Gran did not like Sméagol's mother. She had to leave, and father had to go away too if he wanted to be with her." He lowered his voice. "Sméagol isn't sure he should talk about it, but the nice hobbit won't tell anyone, eh, will he?" "No, no, of course I won't if you wouldn't like me to!" Pippin said, handing Merry the paper ('oh thanks for that, Pip', Merry said, when he felt how slimy it was).

lmao

[Pippin] wondered what his own mother was thinking right now, about him going off for so long, and if anyone thought he and Merry were dead, and if any one of them would go home to find his things being auctioned off like poor old Bilbo had.

No they made that illegal after Bilbo was such a pain about it

Gollum starts talking about how much his dead parents sucked (apparently he heard a lot of vicious gossip about them growing up), and Pippin talks him into giving them the benefit of the doubt.

"O," said Gollum in a tiny voice. "That may be. They didn’t understand lots of things." "So- you oughtn't call your parents silly," said Pippin. "I'll bet they never wanted to die and leave you alone." "I... I do not know," said Gollum. "I won't say anything more about it."

He changes the subject.

"Boromir says Pippin saved him from fire!" "Well, sort of," said Pippin. "I went and got Gandalf and he saved Faramir and woke Boromir, and Boromir got up and saved his father, even though his leg was bad." "But they would all have burnt up if Pippin hadn't fetched Gandalf?" Gollum asked. "Yes," said Merry, before Pippin could answer. "Pip's a hero." "He saved them," said Gollum. "He needn't bother about little things, like who pulled who out of where. That is all silly. Like the master. Master got rid of the- the Precious." "You helped," said Pippin. "Yes, I helped him do it," Gollum said. "But it wouldn't have gotten in the fire without-" "Without Sam," said Gollum, with a warning glance. "Yes, yes, we knows it." "Oh, absolutely it wouldn't, but also-"

Having failed in his attempt to control the narrative Gollum abruptly changes the subject again

"What is the Shire like?" Gollum was tracing patterns on the bottom of the cart with the tip of his finger, "Lots of little hobbitses?"

They talk a little about how cozy and peaceful the Shire is and by extension that is how hobbits are.

"And they goes a-wandering," said Gollum. "Yes. Finds dragonses and monsters." "I dare say we are not known for that!" Well, perhaps the Tooks are, thought Pippin. Gollum blinked back at him, quite calm. "No? That was before. Now you are wanderers and heroes. Yes, yes! That is what they thinks of hobbits in Dale, ever since Baggins went. Now it is what they thinks of hobbits in Gondor. And they are right, because that is what hobbits really did." "Well, maybe you're right about what Men will think, but I'm not sure the Shire will agree," Pippin said. "You know, most of them don't think you're a real person, Sméagol." "They tells tales in the Shire?" Gollum asked diffidently. "Tales about- Sméagol,eh?" "No," said Merry. "We've got one story about Gollum, though." "Ach! Yes, yes, I know that story well enough," said Gollum.

Gollum is sort of playing with the idea of going home with them. In fact, this is what he did do, in the first draft of this fic. (That draft ended with him leaving the city, there is no gollum-in-shire content to share)

But by the time this chapter was posted I had revised the outline and knew Gollum is in fact going to choose to stay in Minas Tirith at the end, so he is shyly sort of getting to like it but not really and maybe in denial about wanting to stay.

Gollum looked suddenly, surprisingly shy, and his voice was quiet. "[...] the King says we might not stay here forever, and I do not know where I'll go." [Merry and Pippin try to explain that Aragorn actually will let him stay forever if he wants to] Do you not like the city?" Pippin ventured. A change of subject once again seemed appropriate. "No... no, we got lost." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I quite like Minas Tirith." "Why?" "The people are lovely," said Pippin. "And it's beautiful, I think." "Good taverns too," said Merry, "although perhaps you don't go in for that, Sméagol. [...] "Smooth stone," he said. "Sweeping tall things. [...] We climbed up things and we went up, up like a mountain," said Gollum. "Like a tree of rock, it was, and there was nice pigeons at the top, yes!" [...] "Yes, yes, the wall, it is high up! We could see everything! No. Not everything. Too much to see everything. It is so vast. So big," said Gollum. "Did he see the fountains? They says there are four. We only saw one."

Anyway soon after they pull up near the tunnel and Gollum vanishes.

He comes back a little later

They were in the middle of teaching Boromir to play cribbage when Pippin looked to the side and saw two gleaming eyes staring back at him. He leapt to his feet with his hand on the hilt of his sword, Merry following suit and Boromir somewhat more slowly.

and he's asking for water again.

But Sméagol is so terribly thirsty; might he have a bit of water?" His voice was tiny and sad.

I didn't realize how MUCH of a theme this was.

He gets his water and leaves. And that's that chapter.

[a-story-teller]

Look, I'm trying to hold onto the good in the world mr. Frodo of it all, enjoy the spring flowers and my cats and the smell of coffee and everything, but it's... it's the whole world that's doing this. I may live in America, America may be at the focal point of attention right now, and Trump is surely speedrunning the route faster than anybody anticipated, but the *whole world* is devolving into this right-wing shit show.

Russia, China, North Korea, they've been at it for decades. The Middle East has been in disrepair for my entire life thanks to republicans, but the extent of control demanded by extremist leaders has been getting notably greater over the last couple years, and punishment for sin more violent. Big chunks of South America are puppet states "run" by a despot who was placed there by another nation (or Coca Cola, or Chiquita Banana, or...) and what isn't is in financial limbo with slowly crumbling infrastructures and undervalued resources.

Africa and Southeast Asia are still hugely being plundered for resources, piled high with the garbage and pollutants of the West, and exploited for tourism, and on top of that you have their personal issues of being synonymous with extremist religion and super hierarchy (SEA) and letting each county's warlord create new ways to use child labor and racially cleanse their neighbors (A). Beyond that, you have South Africa falling into government-level apartheid nostalgia while they're on the precipice of financial ruin.

France, the Netherlands, Germany (AGAIN) - what were supposed to be bastions of the EU are voting fascists into power, denying humanity to trans people, and doing their beat to rid themselves of the refugees they oopsed into having to accept. Even the "imprenentrably" socalist Scandinavian region is sliding right through the power of xenophobia, racism, financial fear, and "cultural preservation". And, of course, the UK is *waves hands* doing That. Canada is 10 years behind America because they've been cheating off our notes, but that still puts them smack-dab in the quickening of Trumpism. Australia is somewhat better than Canada at copying us, so they're even further along, and they're picking up their old favorite toy of Being So Horrible to Indigenous Australians again with a glint in their eye.

What isn't controlled by government is controlled by business, and businesses are consciousless vacuums of greed, so they put their money and power behind whoever will let them exploit people and the environment the most.

It's just... soulless and evil. It's inhuman and scary and sad. And there's nothing one person can do to change any of it short of assassination, and no better place to run to where these things won't become an issue in short order. The world is not just choosing these things, often completely democratically, over and over with increasing speed - they're reveling in it. They're *happy* that trans women aren't women in the UK. They're *happy* that undesirables are being disappeared by ICE in the US. They're *happy* that these far-right parties are rising to power, obviously, because they're *voting* them into power. The majority is helping this happen, and celebrating when it does.

How does one hold onto the good? How can one continue to live in the world with trust and patience and tolerance for others when they're the reason it's like this? How am I supposed to have someone tell me they voted for this and not beat their noses in, not see their bumper stickers and set their car on fire, not give them consequences to their fucking actions? How can I treat with my neighbors and volunteer and uplift my community and all that stuff white people tell other people to do instead of having real concerns with the world state and then don't do themselves because just the righteousness of telling people to do it boosted their mood, when I know that so many of the very people I'd be giving my effort to *wanted* things to be this way?

And I can't do anything about it, so I guess it's another day of seeing atrocities on the news, fruitlessly researching immigrating, eating a bowl of cereal, going to work, taking a "mental health" walk, and remembering to vote in the midterms.

[lucigoo]

Weekly Roundup: 24th March - 31st March

So I did much better this week. With 5 fics finally finished and uploaded. I managed 34,336 words of my 15,000 weekly word goal. And that brough this months monthly total up to 53,626. Its not quite my 60,000 monthly word goal, but conisdering I didnt think I would make it anywhere near close this month, I'm happy with it.

As always, Recs first.

rollin' in the deeeeeeeep - Ourliazo - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own] (Sirius/Remus, Mer fic,)

Summary: Sirens eat Merfolk - except Harry is a super cute Mer baby and his dad isn't so bad either and really, Remus, I can explain how this happened.

Remus floats in place with his arms crossed, staring Sirius down as the other Siren sheepishly lowers an unconscious James into their nest.

One Fish [+Podfic] - xinasvoice - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own] (Sirius/Remus, Muggle au, Meet-cute)

Summary: Inspired by this tweet: "Just watched a man bringing home a goldfish on the train accidentally pop the bag- fish flops on the floor. 3 people swarm to save him (the fish not the man). Guy chugs the last of his coffee and throws the fish in his cup. Lady next to him empties in her bottle of water."

So this is that, only wolfstar.

The beast in us - Imjustherefortheshipping - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own] (Sirius/Remus, Mer Sirius, Werewolf Remus)

Summary: A werewolf and a merman fall in love.

Dear Mr. Black - MsAlexWP - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own] (Sirius/Remus, Muggle Au, Famous Chef Sirius)

Summary: When famous TV chef Sirius Black is publicly outed and needs to escape the London paparazzi, he heads to a very rural B&B in Northumberland where he's astonished to taste the most delicious almond croissant he's ever tasted and simply must meet the chef. Featuring falling in love, snowy hikes, seeing the stars, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, unconventional families, letters to Father Christmas, wishes coming true, finding authenticity, getting to the heart of things, and lots and lots of food.

Crash (Into Me) - imparfait - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own] (Sirius/Remus, Mer Sirius)

Summary: “You didn’t crash into the rocks,” The mysterious man says. “You’re supposed to crash.”

Remus Lupin can’t just leave a man stranded on an island in the middle of the Puget Sound.

What I Can't Do - The67ImpalaDragonChild - Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own] (Pre - Geralt/Jaskier, Jaskier-centric)

Summary: Five times Professor Pankratze's students step up to help a witcher when no one else will. And one time it's the other professors who take up the task.

And now for my own fics 💓

A Merin Named Frodo (Bilbo/Thorin, Siren Bilbo, Mer Thorin, written because of and for @midnightstar789 and is part of an ongoing series An Unexpected Siren )

Summary: Bilbo is just about to finish his hunt when he hears one last piece of prey. Imagine his surprise when it is a lone Mer guppy, one he can't eat no matter how snack sized it is.

How did I not notice the chemistry between us? The love? (Harry/Ron, written for @flashfictionfridayofficial #98 - Hidden chemistry)

Summary: Ron has just realised he is in love with his best friend. The same friend whose house he lives in and who he is helping to raise his godson. Bugger, now he just has to tell Harry.

The Lonely Khuzad (bilbo/Thorin, please read the tags on this one, its an everyone dies/no one lives fic)

Summary: Thorin has been searching for his grandfather’s ship for 12 years after it disappeared without a trace. It didn’t just disappear with the dwarven race’s treasure and future, but with Thorin’s heart in the form of one hobbit on it, too.

Now they are here, ready to discover what happened to all those they loved, but what will they find when they step aboard the Lonely Khuzad?

Precious Children of Ours (Past Bilbo/Thorin, a part of my Stories from the Fellowship series,)

Summary: Bilbo is in Rivendell as Frodo and the ring enter.

He is full of past regrets and grief for what is to come until an old friend sits beside him to share the same grief and fear for his own precious child.

Magic or Mutant, she is more than welcome! (Sirius/Remus, Eric Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, Magic meets mutants, part of my The Mismatched Family of Harry Potter series)

Summary: James and Sirius take the kids to the park, and of course, Harry breaks the statue of secrecy. It would be easier if the child’s parents weren't X-men.

Misunderstandings Marauder's style to bring in new friends and a new student for Rmeus and Lily's little home school.

[matsui-sinclair]

more lotr thoughts (just finished the council of elrond chapter)

so far it seems like the chapters have been either 'and then they walked for a long time' or 'and then they monologued at each other for a long time' and i vastly prefer the monologue chapters!

altho i do tend to zone out whenever aragorn starts dumping a shitton of elf lore 😭 can someone please tell me what the hell a silmaril is bc i either completely missed it when it was explained or they just started talking about them like i was supposed to know what the hell they are

i don't think i would've ever read these books if not for the audiobooks but honestly i'm not sure i would even be interested in continuing to read (listen to) these if i wasn't already obsessed with the musical/movies?? i've been zoning out Way more than i ever did when i listened to the hobbit, but that might just mean i have the attention span of a child

sorry less negative thoughts now

but actually on a bit of a similar note it's so hard for me to differentiate whether information i know has been revealed in the book yet or if i already know it from watching a bunch of adaptations 🥴 like a character will say smth and i straight up can't tell if it's supposed to be a big reveal, if it was already stated before in the book and i forgot and they're just saying it again, or if i already knew it before i started reading the book entirely 😩 i guess i could've waited until i forgot more about the story to read the books but aaaaaaaa

okay

idk why but tom bombadil and goldberry gave me such other mother vibes like i knew from the way that ppl talked abt tom bombadil that he was a Chill Cool Guy but for some reason i was so genuinely unnerved when the hobbits were at his house LMAO at first i was like goldberry blink twice if you need help girl but then i was like ohhh they're both weird guys you gotta get tf out of there NOW lkjhdsfgh

idk if it's something about andy serkis's performance or what but i can literally only picture the bakshi versions of the characters. less so for like boromir i guess (and legolas and gimli but they've hardly talked yet where i'm up to) but for aragorn and the hobbits i just see those funky little cartoon dudes

sometimes i try to picture rarmian newton as frodo bc he's my fav (sorry mr woods) but unfortunately when he played frodo he had the same accent as like merry and sam but andy serkis voices him with an rp accent and it messes with my brain :(

this is not even relevant to the story but i really wanted to look at the actual book and see what the vibes were/if i would even be able to get through a page without andy serkis reading it to me but for some reason my family only has: 1) a new copy of the two towers and 2) a really old copy of return of the king, but zero copies of fellowship of the ring?? tf??? i haven't interrogated my parents about it yet but what the hell

also not really relevant to the actual story but after listening to the parts that they're gonna adapt into TWO fucking hunt for gollum movies i got so unbelievably pissed off like that's what they're gonna adapt??? just that????? into two fucking movies???????? TWO???????????

ok last thing and it's actually positive but i really like whenever pippin is referred to as peregrine in the narration :] idk why i like it so much i just think it's fun and whenever it happens i get a big goofy smile on my face like yeah!!! that's my boy peregrine!!!!!!!!

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

Okay, so I've decided to do Fic Rec Fridays at the end of the month now that I've been keeping a fanfic reading log. Guys. I've read A LOT of fic this month. 😅 Okay so I think the best thing is to organize this by rating and then word count. Please note that this is a pure reading log so I'm just listing fic, author, and small "what it's about".

For August I Read:

397,333 Words

20 Fics

17 Authors

Rating G:

AU-gust Mashups by @ahufflepuffhobbit- Short BOTFA fix-it with an ill-timed confession. Let's face it, this is how we all wanted to see BOTFA end.

Love Makes You Blind by thorinsbeard- Small little oneshot where Bilbo thinks Thorin is blind and can't stop staring. It had me rolling when Thorin told Bilbo he's an underwear model.

Mr Underhill's Finest Seafood Specialities by @nocompromise-noregrets- Oneshot from Frodo's POV as famous food critic, Thorin Oakeshield, arrives as his uncle's restaurant. All the interactions between the characters were fun as well as seeing Bagginshield through Frodo's eyes.

Teach Me Your Ways by airebellah- Multi-chapter story with refugee Thorin struggling through English, but he meets Bilbo who accepts him as he is. Honestly, super fluffy fic with lots of family moments that I really wish there was a sequel, but accept it as is.

Rating T:

Drawn by thorinsbeard- Oneshot where Bilbo stumbles upon some NSFW versions of himself in another cafe patron's sketchbook (in an uncreepy way). Will hope and anticipate a smutty sequel.

Prize Enough for Me by StrivingArtist- Two-shot with Bilbo chasing after Azog after believing he killed Thorin to enact his revenge. I'm always here for some BAMF Bilbo.

When Darkness Shines Brightest by @lordoftherazzles- Multi-chapter Hades/Persephone take. The introspection of Thorin's character blows me away in this fic.

Rating M:

How to Beat Gold Sickness by Epoxide- Cute oneshot where Fili and Kili decide that announcing that Bilbo is pregnant with Thorin's child will shake the gold sickness. Now I just need the sequel where Bilbo says that it's actually true.

Dating Blind by badskippy- Jealous waiter Thorin does sabotages Bilbo's blind dates. This was just perfect, and yes, Thorin does make up for it.

Sparks & Gardens by @fantasyinallforms- Down on his luck Thorin manages to get the best deal of his life when he becomes gentleman Bilbo Baggins handyman. Look, regency is normally not my taste, but this fic does such a good job of just making that the setting and not necessarily the theme (if that makes sense).

The Kitchen Thief by @mordellestories- Multi-chapter Tolkien AU (?) where Thorin still has dwarven blood but can get by with appearing as a human baker in a time where anyone else is treated with discrimination. I will forever be laughing at Bilbo's "oh no, it's the nutty baker" comment.

Stranded by @tickles-ivory- Multi-chapter AU where Thorin and Bilbo live in separate universes but find each other. Honestly, super cute concept and execution with fun "slice of life" chapters at the end.

My Love's a Noble Madness by silverneko9lives0- Bilbo works at an insane asylum where Thorin is a patient who thinks he's in love with him. Okay, I have to say that the tags on this had me scared for A LONG time, but there's actually 0 non-con after Thorin gets medicated and you find out the fucked up situation they find themselves in the beginning is all Azog/Sauron/Melkor's fault.

Rating E:

Look At You by thorinsbeard- Bilbo uses the ring to sneak into Thorin's room, accidentally witnessing the dwarf king masturbating. This fic is so hot and honestly another that I would 100% read a sequel for.

Evening Interlude by paranoid_fridge- Bilbo and Thorin have an evening to themselves for bondage fun. Seriously though, if you're wanting a fic with some heavy bondage kinks, this is the perfect fic.

If You Lend a King a Hand by Cranbear- Bilbo assists Thorin out in the woods, and they have come to an understanding regarding future engagements. Look, I just know this fic is going to checkmark some kinks for me and dom!Bilbo is just an added bonus.

Through the mist (I find you) by @consultingpacha- Thorin has developed amnesia after the events of BOTFA, and Bilbo returns to discover this as well as the fact that he's engaged. Guilty smut and angsty feelios galore (though we are promised a happy ending)!

Fuck Thy Neighbor by @lordoftherazzles- Thorin and Bilbo accidently got married in Bree after one drunken mistake and have now ended up as next door neighbors. This is the type of romcom shenanigans that I am 100% here for, featuring Roac tormenting Lobelia in this newest chapter!

Unrated:

the legend by Ineedtherapy (gethelp)- Bilbo thinks he's still banished and the Company thinks he's dead, and once this misunderstanding comes to light, Bilbo decides to travel with the returning caravan from Ered Luin. Bilbo probably dragged this out longer than necessary, but we're finally to the point where he reveals himself, and I need to know what happens next.

[frodothefair]

I'm still working on Rivendell, since I was feeling rather blah this weekend, but now I am thinking in earnest of expanding that story... someday.

I mean, ok, Mari does not actually become the tenth walker, I think that is abundantly clear by now, BUT my mind has been going crazy inventing the additional ways in which introducing her into the story is going to create absolute chaos and send things in completely different directions that Tolkien never intended. But that's so much fun, isn't it?

Since I can't keep a darn thing to myself, some ideas after the cut.

@konartiste (this still counts as the FoM verse, no?)

Mari and Frodo have a psychic connection while he is on the journey, in part because she is expecting.

Aragorn is reunited with Arwen, and Mari is part of that same delegation, and reunited with Frodo. She is also clearly showing by now.

Merry and Pippin and Sam helping take care of a baby in Minas Tirith.

Frodo and his friends return to the Shire, and find the Scouring in full swing. Frodo, being in possession of a wife and child now, is not a pacifist like he was in the book.

Mari gradually realizes just how ill Frodo is, and that he may not fully recover. During a particularly bad moment, he tells her that he had an offer to go over the Sea by the elves, but that he would never do it because of her and their child.

Marigold tells him to go, and actually writes to Elrond to arrange it. The imaginary scene from Ch 20 of FoM becomes reality:

Odds were, she would tell him to go – would even beg him. She was selfless like that. Mr. Frodo, please, please just go, she would implore, her voice choked with tears. If there is better healin’ to be had… If the Elves might… I cannot bear to have you stay on my account, in all your pain, and to die an early death, because of me… 

He leaves, or maybe he doesn't. We will see. If he does not leave -- or goes, almost leaves, and then comes back, we have paradigm of "if you love them, let the go, and if they return, they were always yours, if they do not, they were never yours in the first place."

If he does leave, Mari later finds love with Merry who, go figure, had an interest in her since they were part of the Conspiracy, but of course he could not say anything because she was Frodo's wife. Mari tells him that she can love him, but not in the same way that she loved Frodo.

[thealogie]

I've lost count of how many asks I've sent in the past couple of days so I guess I have officially joined the anons in your peanut gallery. I've only ever been a lurker on tumblr, is there any ask etiquette I should be aware of?

Also I think you should listen to your dad and become a theatre influencer cause I've never even been that interested in theatre but now I'm flying to London next week just to see one? And then I saw the rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead one and was already on booking dot com sighing like donmarwarehouse_unofficial has led me to places I wouldn't even go with a gun.

Alas, it's in Seattle and I can't even leave my house without a visa so point for my bank account but also don't go where I can't follow mr frodo!

The idea of being a theatre influencer is so funny to me because I hate every blogging/social media platform except tumblr (the platform that no one has ever gotten a brand deal or sponsorship through bc it cannot be monetized) and then also theatres don’t have money. But in another life I am being flown out to see plays around the world and create hype for them and then I’ll get cancelled because I didn’t tag my hype up memes as #paid partnership.

[bealittleimprobable]

Put That Genre Back Where You Found It.

I've grumbled already about "But he just shouldn't have died by their own rules", but I've just remembered someone illustrated that better than me years ago.

They fucked the BDQ!

In One Fine Day In The Middle of the Night by Christopher Brookmyre, a character is discussing the "rules" of action movies. I've put the full text under the cut, but the short version is: films set up how dangerous the action is. You can have films with huge amounts of violence, bullets everywhere but the people rarely get hit. Or you can have the kind of movie where if a gun is fired, someone is getting at least seriously injured. This is the Bullet Deadliness Quotient - low or high.

What you can't do is swap back and forth.

And OFMD swapped back and forth. We've established you can be stabbed in the left side and walk away fine. We've established you can be beaten "to death" by your crew, and be back on your feet through the Power of Hand Holding. They specifically set up adult cartoon levels of violence for the crew - things might get messy, but you'll be up and about in no time.

That's the wrong tone if what you want to give us is the quiet, side-clutching "I don't think I'm making it out of this one, boss".

So even putting aside everything about whether they "should" have killed Izzy, they shouldn't have been able to by the physics of their own story.

[From One Fine Day In The Middle of The Night by Christopher Brookmyre.]

… 11:08 … fipr charter coach … five seats doon …

“Good guys get shot in the shoulder,” Ally was explaining. “It’s the first rule of engagement for action movies. Allows that aw-naw-he’s-been-hit fright moment, renders the hero apparently vulnerable, gives everybody a quality wince, but crucially does no real harm. Headshot is obviously oot, as is the chest; leg-wound limits mobility, stomach puts you on a dead-withoot-medical-attention timelock, and forearm is just too wimpy. Thus, the upper-arm-to-shoulder area gets it every time, and doesnae affect either the aiming or punching ability of the aformentioned good guy. Bruce Willis in ‘Die Hard’ — bullet in the shoulder courtsey of Alexander Godunov. Michael Beihn in ‘Terminator’, courtesy of Arnie. Linda Hamilton in ‘T2’.”

“That was a stabbing weapon.”

“True enough, but same difference. Arnie himself in ‘Commando’.”

“Grenade-blast, if I remember correctly,” Mrs Laurence clarified. “But nonetheless, it was the shoulder.”

“Indeed. Then there’s Arnie again in ‘Predator’. Danny Glover in ‘Predator 2’. Danny Glover again in ‘Lethal Weapon’. Carrie Fisher in ‘Return of the Jedi’. The golden era was, of course, your Joel Silver Eighties — I suppose that should be Silver era, shouldn’t it? — but the rules are still bein’ observed today. Nick Cage in ‘Con-Air’, Guy Pearce in ‘LA Confidential’, Robert De Niro in ‘Ronin’.”

“Yes, but it goes back a long way before the Eighties. Before cinema, even. Might I offer Jim Hawkins in ‘Treasure Island’?”

“Of course. Knife through the celluloid sweetspot on the mast of the ‘Hispaniola’. An’ if we’re openin’ it up to books, there’s Frodo Baggins in ‘Lord of the Rings’, with the added discomfort of the blade breakin’ aff an’ giein’ him the Orc equivalent of tetanus for a good two hunner pages. But it’s important to stress that this is a convention we’re talkin’ aboot, not a cliché. Admittedly, there’ an awfy fine line between the two, but good guys gettin’ shot in the shoulder is the right side of it.”

“What would be a cliché, then?”

“Eh, let me think. Aye. Bad guys comin’ back for one last fright. See, your hero gettin’ wounded is part of the mechanics of the story — the baddie comin’ back is just a cheap shock. Fortunately, the ‘Scream’ movies literally put a bullet in the head of that wan.”

Ally was well into his stride. He was feeling buoyed by the experience of having a sensible conversation with Mrs Laurence: it constituted valid, independent confirmation of having achieved grown-up status. Never mind jobs, money, wives or weans: you knew you were a man when you could contradict your former English teacher without her giving you a punishment exercise.

Well, not that sensible a conversation, maybe, but an enjoyable one. Mrs L had surprised him by confessing her devotion to action flicks, unwittingly triggering an onslaught of Ally’s in-depth theses on the genre. This was something that seldom required much provocation, and this time he was really going for it, making the most of that Vader-to-Kenobi moment: “Now I am the master.”

“You know, I never really had you down for a post-structuralist, Alastair,” she said.

Ally laughed, thinking back to all the things Mrs Laurence had called him in his time. That had not been one of them. It seemed he wasn’t the only one pleasantly surprised by their mutual civility.

“Ach, naw,” he told her. “This isnae deconstructionism, it’s pure, anorak-class obsessiveness. Aw the theorisin’ goes right oot the windae when I’m actually watchin’ a film. I want to get carried along for the ride, which is where cliches ruin it, but conventions are part of the structure.”

“Suspension of disbelief.”

“Aye. That kinna thing. I’ll swallow any scenario, as long as the film sticks to its own bullet-deadliness quotient.”

“Its what?”

“An action film establishes its own rules of gunplay. In some, every bullet is potentially lethal — even the old shot to the shoulder can look worryingly near to the upper-chest area. But in others, machine guns can seem the least deadly weapon known to man. To illustrate, at one end of the spectrum there’s your Tarantino movies: reputations aside, there’s not that much gunplay, so when somebody lets off a shot, it’s for real, and it’s usually fatal. High bullet-deadliness quotient. At the other end, there’s your John Woo movies: zillions of rounds goin’ off an’ the only thing they ever hit is glass. Low bullet-deadliness quotient. In a high BDQ film, if the baddie draws a bead on somebody, get ready for ketchup. In a low BDQ film, that’s just a bad day for the janitor. And both types are fine by me, as long as the rules are followed consistently.”

“But you can’t establish a high BDQ and then have a low-BDQ showdown at the end, that’s what you’re saying?”

“That’s what I’m saying. And you cannae establish a low BDQ then have the hero take oot the baddie wi’ wan shot while the air round about him fills up wi’ lead.”

“I agree. So, as you’ve got a term for everything else, what do you call it when that happens?”

“I call it a Renny Harlin film, usually. Worst fuckin’ action director — excuse the swearies —”

“Oh please, Alastair. I’m not your teacher anymore.”

“Fair enough. Worst fuckin’ action director in the world. No idea whatsoever. Just blows a few things up and links it together with badly blocked — and always badly lit — dialogue sequences. And the worst of it is he makes money, so they let him go and do it all over again.”

“I’m not so clued up on the names of the directors — who is he?”

“Renny Harlin. Never to be forgiven for ‘Die Hard 2’. A sequel so unworthy, John McTiernan kidded on it had never happened when he made ‘Die Hard With a Vengeance’ — even came up with a title that got around callin’ it ‘Die Hard 3’. Further Harlin crimes include resurrectin’ Stallone’s career with ‘Cliffhanger’, and the absolute mortal sin of wastin’ a script by Shane Black wi’ ‘The Long Kiss Goodnight’.”

“Oh come on, I thought that one was funny.”

“Aye, it was — that was down to Shane Black, though. As a thriller it was pish — and that was down to Renny Harlin. I mean, Shane Black, that’s precious material. You don’t give it to just anybody. There should be an approved list of directors for his stuff.”