#can't pass for shit at the moment
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Rookie mistake is to believe your own character when they lie to your face.
That said, I don't think this is something that possibly could've happened as long as Roberts was still a part of the New Sequence. Her sense of self and identity were so tightly interwoven with her relationship to the Commodore, as his pseudo-son and the perfect Victorian officer following the Fall, that there was no way to extricate herself from that mindset. Even now, she thinks of herself with masculine language when thinking on that time and that relationship. No matter what happens, she was always his golden boy right up until his death. And only after she'd let go could she come to terms with who she is outside of that relationship, outside of her role in the navy.
I think the shift in her personality brought on by dawnburning may have also played a role in why this was buried so deeply. Dawnlight ego death had made Roberts more selfless, more focused on success of the group than any individual. She's had decades of practice at ignoring her own boundaries and own desires for the sake of the whole. Decades of habit she's still struggling to undo. What's one more voice? Especially when it's mumbling something she neither has the vocabulary nor experience to decipher. Easier to put on the uniform, the one she's expected to wear, because she has nothing else to put on.
Even now, she doesn't really have words for any of it. Roberts isn't entirely sure what she's doing. She's following impulse, trying to find what feels correct, what makes her happy. Her, and not anyone else. I'm not sure if she'd consider herself a woman at this point. She's deliberately not thinking about any of the implications, any of the conclusions, just what feels most right. And only time can tell where she'll go and what that journey will bring.
#roberts#man i did not expect this to be a thing i get actual real life emotions about#this egg cracked once the sediment had started to settle after the commodore's death#and it genuinely freaked me out a bit#'are you sure? are you absolutely sure about this?'#'you're in your 50s#just lost your job and your home for your entire adult life#have no friends or family or any sort of support network#can't pass for shit at the moment#and have a lifelong fear of being the butt of the joke'#'is this really the moment you choose to transition?'#apparently the answer is yes#i get secondhand anxiety thinking about it#but you know what#the road looks bright#she's figuring her shit out#this is the most peaceful tapping into 'roberts state of mind' has ever felt since her inception#and she's still utterly swagless and going to fuck things up#but they're going to be different fuck ups#and i'll be out here supporting and enabling womens wrongs
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horror having crazy irrational thoughts about food,,,,, like bro thinks there's poison in the cupcakes. someone snuck razor blades into the bread and once he takes a bit it'll cut him up. somehow there's mold growing inside the bananas and when he eats it the mold colony is gonna start growing on HIM and then he'll become a moldy skeleton and oh god and oh god and he is paranoid but hes so hungry.... BUT WHAY ABOUT BUGS IN THR FOOD,,,, BUT HES HUNGRY.... a struggle it truly is
probably doesnt help that dust and killer could feed into it. killer could make off hand remarks on how he snuck razor blades into the meat horror's attempting to eat (to fuck around with horror. just some eeeever so slight psychological anguish. and also because killer would just be the type of casually carry those around. what for you may ask well decide for yourself) and then immediately horror's mood drops and he storms out of the dining room. dust and horror go on a sweet little picnic in a beautiful field and its all beautiful and inconspicuous but dust made the food and horror knows that look in his eyes. horror knows dust was muttering something about chemicals a day or 2 ago. the food is poisoned isnt it??? and dust just smiles and motions for horror to eat it
#imagine being starved and then you hang out with two guys who make food dangerous#imagine the dread. the rational part of his mind telling him not to eat it but his instincts are so so so hungry#horror eats the food because it genuinely looks so good but he knows he just fucked up#they make eachother so SO worse........ they are SO bad for eachother its amazing#and horror probably can't cook all that well too so he definitely needs to learn which is a whole other struggle with his eating issues#MAKE THEM BREAK UP ALREADY THEY CAUSE TOO MUCH SUFFERING FOR EACH OTHER 💔💔💔#sorry triglycercule but no 🧡 they deserve to suffer together as retribution for everything they did#sometimes i feel like this angry torturous mtt that all hate eachother is a bit too ooc#but then again..... god is it so fun to come up with ideas for the mtt to hurt eachother#its so delicious 🧡 like dust's poisoned food! horror eats more because it tastes so good#but he can feel the poison kicking in. he can feel his body slowly start to ache and his movements slow as he eats more and more#and soon he can't move. he's paralyzed and in pain in this flower field with dust#and as he starts to pass out he reaches his hand out a bit for dust. just for the smallest bit of comfort#horror's absolutely furious at him for poisoning him but dust still holds his hand back#dust holds horror in his arms with a smile as they lay in the flower field enjoying the moment#as if you didn't just fucking poison the fuck but whatever that's horrordust for you!#dont worry horror gets him back by stealing papyrus's scarf and ripping some of it off to wear in front of dust#he sews a little patch of the scarf onto his jacket and dust is staring at that shit. that is a TAUNT#yeah this is papyrus's scarf. what are you gonna do about me ripping some of it huh? poison me AGAIN???#theyve all grown tolerances for different poisons because the mtt genuinely cannot stop trying to kill eachother#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#tricule hc#god i struggle to differentiate because hc and rant so much because i swap around and change hcs so frequently that there isnt consistency#ive now decided that rants MUST be substantially longer and less put together to be a rant and not a hc. and that shall be DECREED#utmv#sans au
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imagine if vine was a thing in the early 2000s
imagine if they had vine on atlantis
#elizabeth bans the phrase 'do it for the vine' after 26 people end up in the infirmary after 3 days#rodney talking to john in passing: and they were ROOMATES#lorne to the table: oh my god they were roommates#markham and stackhouse in the kitchen at 230am dropping shit: hurricane katrina?? more like hurricane tortilla#the entirety of the pegasus galaxy at literally any given moment:#i dunno what the fuck just happeend but i dont really care imma get the fuck up out of here fuck this shit im out#tell me im wrong#that's right you can't#vine would've fucking KILLED in atlantis okay#vine#sga#stargate atlantis
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i've been having some trouble falling asleep lately
#art#i'll be yapping in the tags#its not that im depressed or anything. it is the opposite actually#ive been using this medicine for quite some time. and it made all my negative emotions disappear#“oh wow huh but isnt it great you don't feel bad anymore”. this is the same thing my psychiatrist told me when we were discussing this topic#in hindsight it was kinda silly of her to say. i can't believe i pay a ridiculous amount of money per session just to hear shit like that#but she's cute and im a pathetic homosexual who'll seethe at the sight of other specialists like a beaten dog so I will let it slide i guess#we see each other twice a year anyway and all i need from her is the prescription for happy pills. anyway the happypillen#i would fight god if it means i can use stertraline for the rest of my life. thanks to it i can and i do live#but I don't really feel like myself anymore. do you get what i mean#the things that have been giving me anxiety attacks or flashbacks not so long ago? i feel almost nothing about it at this momet#it still haunts me to this day but the intensity of my feelings and emotions does not reach even 1/5 of what it was before#i do not want to disclose more specific topics so i will use a simple example. i used to be afraid of dogs#the fear was so severe that the mere sight of the tiniest little barfing creature was enough for me to freeze#now i can pass one without any problem. the fear i feel today is nothing more than a shadow of bygone times (something i do out of habit)#but i guess this example is not objective enough since my close irl friend has a dog that i became fond of#im still pretty sure this dog of her is capable of biting my ass off if necessary but im not afraid of it#because fear is not an option in this brain of mine at this moment#i don't feel any anxiety sadness or anger anymore. even if something close to it begins to rise in me it shuns down within a few minutes#i can't even cry. i am craving emotions that i was so eagerly trying to dispose of back then#i feel the most mentally stable I have ever been and at the same time i feel pretty much dead.#perhaps i just got used to the fact that sorrow accompanied me for a very long time and i should learn to live without it#perhaps sorrow is just as important as happiness and its absence is a mere side effect of the happy pills#and i have to put up with it in order to have a functional brain#perhaps we people are never happy with what we have in our hands. also i hate drawing#one's can tell since the picture i attached is raw as fuck#but even despite my praised mental stability if i were to stay alone with it even for a minute longer i would go insane#next time i will draw something lighter and cuter. like my favorite kpop boy or fortnite. maybe in the next century#thanks for coming to my tedtalk. bye#i made a typo in the word “sertraline” but im too lazy to fix it i would fight god for you but i will not do this im sorry zoloft
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#my peculiar wife#i'm not rewatching speaking of sex atm i just found this in the vaults (my screenshot folder)#then again i might rewatch it today because i feel like shit and seeing him in such a..... state..... might improve matters#at least yesterday wasn't a total bust#and by that i mean i actually had a decent day yesterday which i haven't been able to say in ages#i left my cave and went to an estate sale where an incredibly attractive middle aged gentleman with silver hair let me have#these two big wooden roll top boxes full of cassettes (many of which are sealed blanks!) for five bucks.....#i haven't gone through them thoroughly yet but it looks like there's a lot of early appalachian gospel#can't go wrong there.........#the man kept calling me sir#sometimes it baffles me that i “”“pass”“” these days because my hair is so damn long and i keep my face clean shaven#so that's nice#with how depressed i've been sometimes i hate to acknowledge when i have a decent day or even a decent moment#because i almost superstitiously feel it will act as a magnet for my depression to swoop in and feed on it#and out of that fear my depression has developed this sort of..... personified stubbornness#where i both consciously and unconsciously avoid what might allow for an opening for “decent moments”.. pleasure.. joy.. whatever might#might grant me relief from pain even just for a moment etc#i don't know what i'm trying to describe here all i know is i feel trying to announce or acknowledge any sort of happiness i experience#feels like i'm directly endangering it#my brain is too scattered right now to try to articulate anything and i don't know why i'm doing so in the tags of a photo of#my peculiar wife james spader#just trying to exist again and not let myself be a hermit to the extent of harold smith which is very much the path i've been on for a long#long time#and i'm chipping away at that nonexistence in strange ways but chipping away nonetheless.......
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I know I should just block (and not OPEN) tags and posts ab '24 but my brain is stupid and likes to be informed even if it makes me worse
#marquilla#im not even joking when i say this next election makes me wanna kms so bad. im fucking terrified and i feel like we already know what's#gonna happen. not bc people arent voting or organizing i mean bc of how far the right has gotten and how angry they are that a#dem won so theyre gonna show up in droves and it's like god i wish we could idk have some safegaurds in place??? like oh idk you#incite an insurrection you Can't run for president?? but also that wouldnt fully stop shit bc florida has its own neo nazi running and#theres more behind him in the wings. but like idk man i just get so fucking suicidal thinking ab the future#and my drs. are like well then dont look at the news??? 'i sure dont' mkay thats great (not) but um i CAN'T not watch bc i need to#be informed i need to know. and they're like well then stop worrying ab it til election day?? LIKE THAT HELPS#so i just dont bring it up. and i just spiral and have breakdowns in the shower and think ab making a will and shit yknow normal stuff#bc this is fine! just dont engage! stop worrying it's like a year away! it MIGHT get better! idk Join in your community then??#like yes yes thats a start but with what fucking energy when im bedbound most of the time im not working and that doesnt stop these fascist#s like me helping the community garden would be good for the community and probably my mental health in general BUT that doesnt deal with#the actual fear that makes me wanna Kermit#like it really fucking feels like all i can do is pray and hope god somehow intervenes (rapture anyone?) and that things do go well and#that the outright outspoken nzis don't win but like I really just wanna die man#i know the outcome more than likely will not directly affect my life bc im white. cis passing. and can go back in the closet regretfully#but like that doesnt reassure me any bc i have friends and loved ones and generally just give a shit ab other people and how this WILL#affect them directly and that terrifies me. it really feels like we cant ever have a moment to just exist yknow??#idk man i just wanna die bc im so scared haha how fun (: how normal (: this is fine. everything is fine.
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he's HORRIBLE
#tm#all the bullshit she put up with from him for 10 years and she's late to a crime scene ONCE and look at him ffajdslk#as if you give one single shit about punctuality patrick; but this brings up a point that i can't believe i never considered in all my bs:#does patrick jane know how to be jealous? discuss#i mean...obviously he KNOWS but....does he though#at the very least he's exceedingly out of practice#of course we know next to nothing about his and angela's relationship but between that and this he's basically had 10+ years of red john#and we know lisbon dated during that time (and we know he DID get jealous because...obviously how could he not)#but not jealous in a way he could act on - in part because ms 'intense and particular' didn't seem to have many repeat dates#(idiots) but mainly because of the red john of it all#i doubt he realized it on any conscious level (and if he did he repressed/ignored the shit out of it)#but he couldn't see anything happening with them while he had red john hanging over his head#(tangent: all his 'you deserve a good man' 'he's a good man' later on...he really doesn't see himself as a good man does he#my poor little meow meow - thinking about naomi's tags about the letter again god i wish that had happened)#and she deserves better than that; deserves better than him (SOB); so he lets the hints and the moments of jealousy pass by#but now....well now there's no more red john#he's still got a LOT to work through but that gigantic weight is off his shoulders and there's been this shift between them#(i can't come up with a better way of saying it than) they're flirting like they mean it....not that they didn't before#but now there's this sense of actual possibility behind it; this could be going somewhere; it's slow but they're taking actual (baby) steps#and then pike shows up and the whole thing is imploding as they speak - like he knows from the second that cab pulls up#how her date went and she knows that he'd know and they're just talking around it and they're so AWKWARD where they'd been#working so well together (minus an airplane ride or two)#and now he's trying REAL hard to be supportive even though he probably wants to curl up and sob#because he wants her to be happy (more than maybe anything he wants her to be happy) and he couldn't make her as happy as pike#she deserves a GOOD man and that is not him; she shouldn't have to put her life on hold for him anymore she's done that too much already#but what he doesn't get - what he can't quite comprehend (what absolutely stuns/amazes/thrills him at the end of blue bird)#is he DOES make her happy; he IS a good man (he might be the best man she knows; flaws and all); and (in this instance)#she'd be more than willing to wait for him; to be patient with him#if he'd only let her know that there's something there to wait for; something concrete they could be heading towards together
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Me: it's late in the night and im really tired. i should sleep
-as soon as my head hits the pillow-
My brain: Wasn't there a calendar in the background in The Green Death? If so, what does the calendar show? Would it add to the Unit Dating Controversy? we must go check now!
#rambles#classic doctor who#unit dating controversy#my presentation on this topic has plagued my mind all holiday#it wont stop#i can't get a moment's rest#i also know that sarah says at some point that she's from the 80s#but apparently at some point she uses a unit pass that states its from the 70s#well i heard that anyway#but i can't find it so who knows#honestly - i was ready a week or so ago to chalk the whole controversy up to the brig being shit at maths and dates#(because it's funny - especially as he has a degree in maths and becomes a maths teacher)#but then like.. how do you explain characters giving various contradicting dates?#is everyone connected to the doctor bad at dates?#because being round a time traveller who can mix up time periods would eventually rub off on others?#but the UNIT era is so grounded to earth and to the now (and they cant go forgetting the date when they're a military organisation that has#to be at conferences and investigate things etc etc)#why am i trying to think logically about this?#i can't do that - for my own sanity#aaaaaaa
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You know what? I love my body actually. Fuck everyone that ever made me believe that the best i could ever get to was maybe tolerate it.
#love my hair despite being bullied for it and being told to straighten it countless times#i love my scars despite being told that i should be ashamed of them they tell my story even when i can't#i love my body hair despite being told that it was shameful too since the very moment i started growing it (fuck that bitch in particular)#i love my thighs and my tummy and i love my weight now that i allow myself to eat until I'm full#i love my nose nd i think my nose bump is actually it's best feature#i love my smile even if it's a little crooked bc that's what makes it unique#and i love my flat chest bc turns out I have that transmasc swag HELL YEAH Jandjdns#some bitches wasted their time trying to make me feel bad about that one bc it is a blessing for me#'you don't have any boobs' 🥹🥹🥹 promise?#and it's not technically my body but i've been wearing them 24/7 since i was 2 yo so i feel like i get a pass for this one anyways →#i fucking love my glasses they are nice and they make me look nerdy which is GOOD bc I AM a nerd#and I'm studying nerd shit and the nerd building with a bunch of other nerds#curly hair and glasses are hot af actually... change my mind
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‘Would Visenya like Aemond?’
Given just how much he has in common with her babyboy Maegor I daresay the answer is pretty obvious.
Mothers boys? Check
Noted for their physical/combat prowess? Check
Noted for fierce and unforgiving nature? Check
Riding the largest dragon of their time? Check
Being second sons by, in many ways, a second wife (in time and in heart) to the king? Check
Consider themself more qualified than their older brother to be king but remain loyal to him? Check
Kinslayers? Check
Married to/involved with alledged sorceresses’/witches? Check
#asoiaf#hotd#Aemond Targaryen#Maegor I Targaryen#also you can't tell me Visenya wouldn't think Alicent is the hottest shit#at the very least regarding the whole 'an eye for an eye' and charging someone with a dagger for hurting her baby boy moment#over someone who tries to install bastards as heirs (and gives them Targaryen priviliges ie dragons)#can't tell me Visenya wasn't a blood purist whacko like Daemon is#so trying to pass bastards off as heirs instead of trying for 'fully Valyrian' children with a Velaryon would not please her#which is not a compliment because that shit is whack
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i have an animatic i want to squeeze out of my head but i also want to fucking snap my neck already
#// vent#genuinely so fucking frustrating.. can i PLEASE just have this one moment#i've been up for so long and i can't sleep normally anymore because i'm such a fucking idiot#I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP. I HAVE TO DO SHIT (optional but in spite of that. I MUST)#i would never forgive myself for skimping on dailies again#AND MY ART? THE AMOUNT OF INSPO THAT PASSES THROUGH MY HEAD? it's all so cool and silly and i can never reach that level#i can't even fucking animate anymore what the hell
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Remembering this week how when I was little my dad burned together a mixed CD with the first song being Barbie Girl by Aqua and how me and my siblings used to beg him to play it every single time we were in the car.
Like imagine a six year old constantly singing this at the top of their lungs while having no idea what “hanky panky” is.
#i still have the cd dsfghfds it's safe with me#it's got 'driving mix' written on it and it is soo scratched up and old now even though we all take really good care of our cds!!#but grubby child hands cannot always be stopped#next time i see my dad i was going to ask him for a driving lesson. i'm 100% going to surprise him with the driving mix cd#the infamous cd...#wait now i'm trying to remember the order of the songs on this cd. just off the top of my head...#barbie girl. then come on eileen. then pass the dutchie#then 99 red balloons (english version) iirc#and many more dance beats from the 90s but i can't remember at the moment dfgfds#listening to come on eileen rn and feeling powerfully nostalgic holy SHIT
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.
#Been taking my meds as prescribed and have been on the edge of a panic attack for nearly 2 weeks now#My body is in a tremendous amount of pain#but I gotta pretend I am okay just to have people quit asking if I am okay. I am not but there is nothing to be done about it#the pain docs dgaf the bone docs dgaf the specialists dgaf#I can't even take mj to feel better because I am so allergic#and speaking of allergies I have been having what look like HIVES starting to appear randomly over my face and chest for these 2 weeks#istg if this is another fucking reaction to allergens I am just going to go meet the hatman and claim squatter's rights in his house#woke up from another passing out episode to be ravenous and had to make myself some eggs and rice#I added kimchi because there needs to be more daily veggies in this diet#Most days the meals have been a tsp of peanut butter; an applesauce or string cheese; whatever noodle; and eggs or tuna...sometimes chicken#But still they want to tell me I am eating too much daily somehow#I do also drink a fuckton of water daily#I am just so tired of these 8year experts seeing a short fat thing and immediately equating all my problems to fucking weight#something is wrong and nobody wants to look further into it#In the meantime I am going to be mentally unwell because my body feels like shattering glass under electrified water every waking moment#But sure! let me take on the responsibility of teaching 44 other households how to open an rtf file in a damn word processor#HOW TF do you get over 50 and have all problem solving skills drop out of your ass. God forbid I write simple instructions#and some asshole put out fliers on ageism near my apartment#Telling someone that they need to actually have the correct information before moving forward to do something is apparently disrespectful#I literally don't have to do anything for any of these people but they feel entitled to my time and energy because I am 30+ years younger#And they've been having kvetch sessions about who knows what in a room literally on the other side of my bedroom wall#I got shit to do in the morning so I hope to wake up somebody else tomorrow#wish me luck
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great news: editing yesterday still left me with some energy for writing!
questionable (maybe good?) news: it seems like every fic i keep working seems to be angling to be my first Very Straightforwardly E-rated fic that is simultaneously married, emo, tender, and a bit wild...
#okay well maybe just wild to *me* as someone never really posts very clearly NOT passing the hays codes kind of fics#but hey! no time like the present it's spring it's time to just post whatever i want and am writing!!#i can't be embarrassed anymore i've 1. made it through grad school with far worse shit in front of far more critical readers#and 2. .... i mean come on#any posting of this Kind of fic is inherently like I KNOW I K N O W OKAY SHHHH the joke is there i HEAR IT#but anyway :)) perhaps look forward to that brief moment in my fic writing career...#up for a week read it while it's Hot lol#del
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aaaaaand that give me 180 days to archive all my old musical.ly/tiktok stuff!
#tiktok is already banned at my college bc of a tennessee law passed a while back#so i can't even check at this moment how many videos i need to archive#but i'm pretty sure it's around 300-ish videos#or maybe less idk#i dropped that shit after 2017-18#and came back on a new account to post like 3 vids#each got like 1k hits but only three likes#hate that dumbass app#but also banning it will ruin tons of people's livelihoods
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Warning: Horny Geto Suguru, male masturbation, fantasizing about various sexual activity, breeding
Geto Suguru cannot stop having sick fantasies about you.
He hates himself for it. He hates the fact that you linger in his mind like a melody he can't forget, weaving through his thoughts at unexpected moments, filling him with a relentless desire that only grows stronger with each passing day. He wants to forget about you he really does, but his stupid brain can't seem to let go of you.
Of course, you wouldn't know this. You have no idea that he spends hours dreaming about you, undressing you with his mind, and playing with you until his heart's content. Certainly, you have no idea how various his fantasies are, from stuffing your cute hole with loads upon loads of cum to sticking a vibrator on your clit and watching you squirm and cry for him. Fuck, he's drooling right now thinking about it.
The fantasies have become so intense, so tangible, he's even started to engage in less-than-savory activities. Subtly, almost imperceptibly, Geto finds excuses to be near you, to catch the faint scent of your shampoo or the unique fragrance that seems to encapsulate your essence. At the dead of night, Geto will touch himself to your beautiful pictures on your Instagram, staring at your pretty lips and imagining them around his dick. God, how would you feel if you knew these innocent pictures of yourself were being used to get yourself off?
Geto shudders as he drags his hand up his shaft. He's already so sensitive just from the thought of you. The pleasure dulls his senses as well as the wall he kept up against those sick thoughts he has of you. Geto bites the inside of his cheek as he moves his hand faster up and down his length. The euphoria is immediate, milky white beads of precum dribble from his angry red tip that he uses to accelerate his motions. Oh god, he can't stop them now, the dam has been broken, now he can't stop the thoughts, the thoughts about what he'd fucking do to you.
"Fuuckkkk y/n.." Geto is not a whining man, but here he is, his voice laced with a certain vulnerability as if he was pleading for you, begging for you. He wonders what you would look like underneath him, face covered in his milky white cum. Jesus, he'd probably smear it all over your tits and lick it off you, maybe even force you to swallow his load.
"Y/n please please please," He practically gasps, the syllables of your name roll off his tongue like a caress, each one imbued with a sweetness that contrasts starkly with his unholy ministrations. Geto jacks himself off feverishly, desperate to feel the pleasure that he can taste so sweet on his tongue. He knows, lord he knows that his fist will be nothing compared to the real thing, compared to the squeeze and wetness of your soft walls but right now he will have to make do.
Thats when a new idea hit him. Could he make you squirt on him? Geto moans at the thought, his hips bucking up into his fist. Oh yes, that would be a dream, for you to squirt all over his dick, his fingers, shit, his face. If, no, when, he gets the chance, he won't stop licking your sweet cunt, he will suck and lap at your clit like an animal in heat.
Strands of Geto's black hair are starting to stick to his forehead. He is so close, his abs are contracting and his toes are curling and uncurling from the pleasure. Yes, Geto Suguru swears he will do all of those things, he will get to live these fantasies in his head with you he promises himself this. He will fuck you in doggy, in a mating press, on a table, on the floor, fill you up with cum in all your holes until your begging him to stop oh god hes gonna cu-
"Nghhh y/n fuckfuckfuck."
Geto suguru's mind goes blank white as his hips buck into his hand and white ropes of cum spill from him.
Yes, Geto Suguru will experience those sick fantasies he was with you.
#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#geto smut#geto x reader#getou suguru x reader#geto x reader smut#getou smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader smut#geto suguru#gojo x reader#gojo smut#getou suguru smut#jjk x you#sukuna x reader
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