#can't fathom how good this is i cant do it

[iluvsang-recs]

bAI I CANT- I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. IM- IM SO ANGRY YOU ARE SO TALENTED LIKE WTF WHO SAID YOU COULD BE SO TALENTED WHY IS THAT ALLOWED HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT WRITING I CANNOT. I ALWAYS AM SO BLOWN AWAY BY YOU THIS IS A LITERAL MASTERPIECE SDFJHSLJDF AAAA OH MY GODDDD. i cannot i can't your imagery is INSANE your storytelling? INCREDIBLE. the way you paint a picture both of the physical surroundings which really just brings the story alive but also the picture of feelings and emotions AND GOD I JUST KEEP GETTING WOWED OVER AND OVER AGAIN !! the descriptions when yeosang first walked into the shop--STUNNING. and i loveeee the contrast of him being the sun god but wearing all black idk i just loved that detail and YEAH OH MY GOD that's a huge thing in your writing that i really admire is your attention to detail. THE MELON BREAD I LOVED THAT REFERENCE SO MUCHHHHH AAAAAAA SO SO SO MUCH.

"The coolness of the morning before dawn never felt warmer as his heart swelled with your encouragement, as if the sun really did set and rise in this bakery, home to nature’s magic and the adoration that he held for the world, reflected in your eyes that caught the hints of the rising sun. Nothing could be more beautiful." AGHHHH IM SO SKHFJKSD MMMMMM TOO GOOD TOO GOOD

and then oh my god the way you so carefully crafted their dynamic and relationship, again with those little details--when reader fixes his shirt as a habit and then that switching up at the end and then turning into a kiss???? YOU SHUT UP NOW OKAY STOPPPPP

gODDDD AND THEN THE SUNCATCHER ANTIQUE WHAT A GORGEOUS GORGEOUS DETAIL

"finally understanding the true meaning of sunkissed." OH YOU DID NOT YOU DIDNT OH MY GOD THIS LINE HAD ME ON THE FLOORRRR ON THE FLOOR !!!! and then the closing while the reconciling of the whole mortal immortal thing that just hurts a little bit despite how genuinely pure and true the love between them is. and even then the ending just felt so so so hopeful and pure. and god the love and care that yeosang holds is just too too sweet and you did the loveliest job of portraying it.

Sangshine

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🌅 pairing: sun god!yeosang x gn!baker!reader 🌅 genre: fluff, fantasy, soulmates, studio ghibli-coded 🌅 summary: when yeosang opens the door to your bakery, and a new chapter of your life begins, you cannot help but feel as though you had met before; yeosang is elated to relive every sunrise and sunset, and fall in love with you again. 🌅 wordcount: 5.4k 🌅 warnings/tags: solo edit, food/eating/making food, destiny talk, discussion of time, discussion of deities/olympus, kiki's delivery service-inspired setting, multiple lives, mortal/immortal, summer fantasy, seaside town, baker's assistant yeosang, his precious self, (not quite) strangers to lovers, falling in love again... and again, waiting for love, sun magic, mention of lacking sleep 🌅 a/n: when i say i listened to the playlist on loop, i mean it. this yeosang is dear to me, as is time, the sun, and the cusp of spring and summer, bringing transformation. this fic is also an early celebration of yeosang, our beautiful, talented malberman~ I hope you enjoy, love you, any and all reblogs, comments, asks and notes appreciated!

🌅 playlist: Suzume - RADWIMPS, Toaka ; Time for two - RADWIMPS ; A Town with an Ocean View, The Baker's Assistant, You're in Love - Joe Hisaishi, Path of the Wind (Piano Version) - URE Relaxing, Summer - Joe Hisaishi, Pekka Toivonen

🌅 perma-taglist: @doom-fics @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @honey-lemon-goose @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @starillusion13 @hongthoven @cqndiedcherries @uwuheeseungie @cheollipop @frankenstein852 @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @mingigoo @michel-angelhoe @innsomniacshinestar @foxinnie8 @preciouswoozi @wooyoungjpg @nebulousbookshelf @wowie-hockey @hongjoongs-patience @ssaboala @jaehunnyy @kitten4sannie @maddkitt @pyeonghongrie-main @cosmic-w0lf

🌅can't be tagged: @yunbug @hjoymyluv @memoriesofwoo @mystar1024 @ate-ez

Once upon a time, on a day when the weather forecast had promised, and the grim steely clouds delivered ceaseless downpours, and you were stuck inside watching rain turn window views into a hazy blur and scare away any potential customers with its ferocity, the sun, cautiously, with a bashful grin on his face, apple cheeks and a boundless kindhearted disposition hinted in every gesture, entered your store.

Raven locks, slightly curled and framing his heaven-sculpted face, inquisitive eyes that were a complex painting, an entrancing shade of grey - one which, much to your surprise, you were fond of, unlike the endless expanse of rain summoners hanging above your shop. You attempted to regard him like you would any other customer, but stopped on your tracks, barely finding the counter with your hands as his form became the sole focus of your vision. It was as though the rain had purposefully passed him by, left an avenue just for him to enter the bakery and keep his leather dress shoes and black outfit pristine, the man crowned by a lucky spotlight. As the young man fumbled for a way to proceed, you wondered if he was a ray of sun himself and that was how he stayed dry in that torrential catastrophe. Forcing your mouth into a more amiable shape than blatant gaping, you returned his shy smile and inquired whether there was anything in particular that he was looking for - after all, if the man was in your store, and managed to expertly dodge what had to be the worst rainfall in a decade, he had to be determined to buy something, anything. Silently, you were hoping that even if he were a passing face, that he could keep your business, and you, afloat. 

You left him a moment to ponder and watched him amble towards the counter. This allowed you to study his features at proximity, with bated breath as he leaned towards the glass display and looked at some of the pastries. The drifting of a couple of unruly strands as he lowered his head revealed the hints of a birthmark, a rosy pink blossom on the left side of the beautiful man’s face. Delicate, elegant. You looked away in an effort to appear more professional than usual for the sake of first impressions - you were not sure why this particular man had inspired the urge within you, seeing as you were so used to serving only locals and speaking in an array of neighbourhood inside jokes that you would think any newcomer would instead inspire callousness and aloof behaviour. But the unmistakable warmth emanating from him, the soothing balm of a brighter day that he appeared to carry made you want to grow closer, aim higher, beam instead of scowling.

He caught you as you were smoothing your apron, your break in attentiveness allowing his gaze to travel over you the same way that yours had done when he had crossed the barrier into the delicious safe haven from the atrocious weather that he had to schedule - unbeknownst to the residents of the town, he had actually negotiated to carve a few more sunny days, more days for him to search. It was rare, for someone like him, to stumble across little paradises. After all, for the most part the planet was a blur for him, a daily task and a routine roaming that he had to carry out and maintain. The last thing that the young god needed and had to want was the experience of mortal pleasures - the responsibilities that the deity, in the form of a young man, had were drilled into him again and again, and none of them involved doing what he was doing right this second. But the calls had grown too persistent as he passed by this town, too strong to dismiss, and the sky was curtained by clouds, much to his fortune. It was not that anyone would notice if a blip in the sunlight ever happened. He knew what he needed, and he knew that it was time to achieve it.

“Um, sorry. Do you have melon pan?” the young man addressed you, his deep, dulcet tone like music to your ears. The tilt of his head as the question permeated the air, subconsciously mirrored as you broke into a series of nods, setting off to the bread rack that was located behind the counter, off to the right. Seems it was good to give into your own cravings sometimes and impulsively introduce new items to the menu.

“With cream or without?”

One thing that you would have never expected was that a sun god would make it a habit to visit you in his free time, and be it for a sweet treat or for reasons known only to him, would put on an apron and fall into your beloved routine. What the deity never expected, and remained pleasantly surprised about, was just how readily you had accepted him, and instead of obviously falsified reverence that he had grown accustomed to from mortals who were graced with knowledge of his existence, you treated him as ‘Yeo’. That was the nickname you had given him after he had introduced himself with a human name - Kang Yeosang; a key which, upon turning, made him your new friend, and he would be lying if he said he did not feel elated when you happily shouted out his name from the back of the store, instructing him to move some trays around, or asking him to help you with some bags or dishes. 

If there was another heaven, it would be in the rhythm that he had rediscovered with you. In the cosy space of your bakery, Yeosang was at ease, in a tranquillity that he previously thought existed only in books and in mortal movies, in myths about eternal bliss, a paradise in the palm of one’s hand. Something that belonged to other lifetimes, other avenues that he had traversed. He thought that he was the one to have the better cards, the advantages, but it was you who had him figured out, despite his abilities, immortality and near-invincibility. After a particularly scalding hot day, the first words that you had spoken to Yeosang once he made the chimes that were hanging right above the door ring exactly at sundown, were: “you made the sun shine brilliantly today, Yeo,” leaving him awestruck. To you, it was only a matter of putting two and two together, making the man, or not quite exactly a man, into the legend that he truly was. After that, you simply delivered him a melon pan with cream, and pointed at the little table you had put out at the front of the shop, asking if you could enjoy the last of the rays together. He had happily obliged, stars in his eyes as you guided him out, balancing a jug of freshly made lemonade and a couple of glasses on a board resting 

As the days grew impossibly long with the climb of the spring into the summer season, so did the opening hours of the bakery, right up until you were stretched so thin over the day that you introduced a midday closing time with a break for a few hours, much to the surprise of the locals. At the same time, it turned out to be a welcome one, seeing as with the arrival of Yeosang, the number of people coming through the green-painted door increased considerably. Of course they would never say it, but you could detect a curiosity and admiration in them as they spotted the beauty strolling around in the kitchens, and the dreamy sighs when Yeosang would peek out, and even interact with some of the customers were far too obvious to ignore. If you knew any less, you would probably find yourself jealous, but at the same time, how many people walked under the sun, day in, day out? That was what you tried to tell yourself when the crowds of students would blast past, buying up the stock on one occasion and simply loitering around on another after their gruelling hours of cram school, and the odd brave youngster would try their luck to flirt with the god. His responsive stoicism, however, dispelled any of your itching doubts, and with a couple of polite nods and a step in a direction farther and farther from whoever was his unwanted interlocutor, Yeosang returned to the rhythm. 

He did not mind the visitors of the shop, nor the delivery men who brought you fresh produce and ingredients. In fact, he had made some new friends in this way. But it was when he could catch your grin, listen to your melodic laugh and feel a light playful tap on his shoulder that the light was truly brighter. Aside from the laborious maintenance of the glowing orb, patrolling his part of the world before he needed to pass it on, he was now a baker. Technically an assistant at best, but you proudly called him ‘the real deal’ when you applauded him for helping you with the brioche loaves. The coolness of the morning before dawn never felt warmer as his heart swelled with your encouragement, as if the sun really did set and rise in this bakery, home to nature’s magic and the adoration that he held for the world, reflected in your eyes that caught the hints of the rising sun. Nothing could be more beautiful. 

“Good luck for today!” you chirped with excitement evident in your voice, adjusting his shirt absent-mindedly, a habit that he had allowed you to form, the few precious seconds where he could let himself imagine a timelessness with you.

“Good luck to you too, and see you this evening. We have the Summer Solstice event opening!” Yeosang answered, matching your joy. While you adjusted his collar and clapped your hands a couple of times, satisfied with the neat look, Yeosang remained more still than the verdant green trees that cast calming shadows over to the side of the shop in the early hours.

“That’s right, so you better be prepared to work the till until you become the till,” you should have known that your attempt to move the blackboard sign would be intercepted, and the deity’s arms were already guiding themselves between yours to grasp onto the wooden frame. Whispering out an apology, a light blush coating his cheeks when your fingers barely brushed as you detangled yourself from the kind intervention, Yeosang moved the elaborate logographic art onto the street in its rightful place, continuing with his encouraging ponderings:

“First day sales are about to beat all records for this beauty.”

“They better, or the seasonal specials will-”

“I can always call my friends if you’re worried.”

“So I can have Olympus in my shop?”

“Why not? Your treats are heavenly…” he trailed off, partially in disbelief at his own choice of words. Rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, Yeosang decided to let the moment carry itself forward, listening to the trickling of time. 

Again, the gentlest touch of your hand on his chest as a laugh escaped you, and what had struck fear in his heart dispelled to reveal a brilliant sunrise. It was always you behind those sun rays, wasn’t it? The question crept out of a deep slumber, having lied dormant for what had to have been decades, now crawling up the walls of his consciousness, melting away doubts that came with every first meeting.

“You really are too sweet. Now go, can't keep your colleagues and the world waiting.”

As you peered into his eyes, clear, bright, hopeful, you felt as though you were looking at the sky itself, admiring its infinite expanse and omniscience. An odd sensation hinted at its existence as you did not dare look away, letting yourself sink further into ever-changing blues and greys, highlighted with flickers of a mahogany flame right by the pupils. Almost as if you had seen these very eyes before, gazed into the summer sky and caressed the sun itself as though it was an ornate glass marble. Perhaps this was another one of the peculiarities that came with interacting with the divine, you concluded and brushed it off, simply glad that in the now, in the early dawn on what was to be a hot summer day, you could look forward to more than ever before.

Yeosang bit the corner of his lower lip, in nervous contemplation, before tentatively reaching for your hand which had been resting by your side, and giving it a soft squeeze, barely there until you responded, fingers intertwining, answering to his unsaid hopes. Gaze not leaving the unity, thumb running over the edge of your palm repeatedly in an attempt to memorise the presence, he whispered out, half to himself, half to the divinity above and around him in sacred promise:

“I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll hold you to it.”

Even as he departed, and you watched his figure evaporate into the morning mist as he approached the reddening horizon, the feeling of his hand in yours remained as vivid as that feeling that you must have known Yeosang before, or at least the irreplaceable, unique warmth that he shared with you was something akin to the idea of home itself. Supported, quietly cheered on as you continued your daily duties and finalised preparations to open the store for the first half of the day, Yeosang was there in your every thought and movement.

The glints of sun as the trees, having been ushered awake by the earliest hints of warmth that the red tiled roof of the bakery caught, commenced their serene rustling, were ciphers, music to your vision that danced over the concrete of the street outside. The way in which the colours changed as the sun grew more prominent and energetic was a masterpiece in the making, white paint turning into a glowing fantasy. When you closed for the day break, setting off on a daily walk around the neighbourhood in your favourite linen dress and wide-brimmed straw hat, you were embraced by the luminance that ambled across the ultramarine heavens, Yeosang matching your stride.

Running your hand over the top of the stone fencing that lined the hill on which your bakery found its home, you let your gaze rest over the breathtaking scenery of your beloved town, the terracotta roofs, the cream walls that were highlighted with wooden planks that stood the test of decades, the cobbled streets and hustle and bustle of squares and markets, and the glistening ocean that was always the first to wave to Yeosang, all shining thanks to the summer sun. It was fascinating, how with the marvel of the seasons, the town transformed into a fantastical land that you could only hope to spend all your years in. It had always been your home, your calling, and even in the times when you had gone outside of the town’s boundaries, your heart remained right here, come rain or shine. Perhaps this was the true reason why you were so drawn to Yeosang - in his eyes, you saw the same place, the same time, the understanding of a home that was so personal you were convinced he was taking the threads from your very soul, and singing the melodies right back to you. Your own, only sun that you could not believe returned your daring, unwavering gaze. You waved at the midday orb, chuckling to yourself as a flock of birds dashed past, hoping that your cheers would be delivered. 

As you turned to give the bakery a once-over before turning the corner to head down the stone stairs that would lead you to a busier part of the neighbourhood, you gasped as the sign, a dainty metal pretzel right above the entrance rocked back and forth on the rod, as if waving back to you, and caught a sudden sun ray, reflecting the warmth for it to fall at your feet like a thousand stars, decorating the cobble to turn to an illuminated path of glowing marble. Unable to contain your beam, you bowed your head in gratitude and curtsied, wondering just what your neighbours would think if they were to poke their heads out from their bedrooms and shops. But you did not pay it too much mind, instead twirling around, and with a newfound lightness, found yourself on a mission to surprise the precious sunshine.

The longest day of the year, marking the moment when the sun would begin its slow journey to a hibernation for the northern hemisphere, and Yeosang would find himself growing that little bit less busy as a god, busier as your loyal assistant. He rushed down the streets as soon as his feet hit the concrete in a secluded spot that he liked to use for his returns, counting every second that passed and matching it to the start of the event. Seeing the small crowd that gathered by the bakery, waiting for their much adored pastries and cheerfully chatting away, pride swelled within him as he thought back to the wishes you had made, what you had been working towards and what you had now achieved. He glided into the store in efforts to find you, picking up the apron that you left for him behind the counter. You were in the middle of carrying a new tray of buns and motioned for him to take his position by the till - back to his favourite rhythm.

Customers came and went, the event turning into a hit, and by the second hour, your specially decorated melon pan was officially sold out; all except one for a certain someone, tucked away, kept safe. You almost felt guilty for keeping this tiny secret from the god, taking notice of his momentary confusion and barely restrained pout as he caught sight of the empty basket, and his disheartened stance as he picked it up and removed it from the display. You swore you saw what was already the night hour darken, and stifled a giggle, instead tapping Yeosang on the shoulder to give him a thumbs up for his hard work and mouth the words promising a gift. With a re-discovered vigour, the deity hurried off to assist an elderly customer who was trying with all her might to contain a loaf of sourdough and make it past a busy line - your store being the only one in this part of town to sport one in such late evening. As the chimes rang out again, you thought back to the little present you had acquired during your afternoon walk, barely containing yourself, bursting at the seams as you imagined what you wanted Yeosang’s reaction to be over and over again.

With the last of the customers came the quietude, a lulling blanket of deep navy decorated with stars that had been lying in wait outside of the bakery, a moment of rest for the sun god, a cooling serenity that you could share with him as you closed up, cleaned up, and ushered him to the little table outside - previously folded away and hidden behind an antique delivery scooter bike out at the front of the shop, so as to not attract attention, nor occupy the space that had always been set out for idle chatter of the visiting locals. As you let Yeosang finalise the furnishing of your makeshift lounge, you recalled his curiosity of the wheeled machine, and your suggestion that one of these days, he could use it as a chariot, much to his child-like excitement. You turned and made a beeline for the store, almost running into Yeosang in the process, your balance restored only by a pair of strong hands on your upper arms.

“What’s the hurry?” as though electrified by the contact, his hands flew away from you just as suddenly as they had caressed your skin, though, much like the heavenly reassurance of his presence on your wrist, the ghost of him remained around you, seeking an embrace. Retraining your focus on the man before you, you huffed and continued past him repeating “just you wait”, over, over like a mantra, a spell that you wanted to use to keep him in place.

Thankfully, he did not follow, instead stepping closer to the window that was now exposed to the moonlight since he folded the ruby red awning, faded with the years of sunlight and rain storms. Yeosang folded his toned arms, smiling to himself as he watched you throw one item, another onto a wooden tray, and shuffle back outside, not once breaking focus from balancing what had to be priceless treasure, considering how carefully you set it down in front of him.

“Sit.”

“But you’re standing.”

“Yeo, come on, sit down, I am just energetic!”

“After that shift? Are you sure you are not a god or demi-god yourself?” he countered, tilting his head.

“I- hm. Okay so we are standing then?”

“I want to be energetic with you!” the innocent comment made your chest ache, and what had previously been utter conviction that what you were doing was casual, customary for colleagues, friends, passing faces who had grown familiar, shattered into a vulnerable confession.

You stilled, the nervous rocking on the balls of your feet ceasing to bring you comfort, the erratic motions and gesticulations as you struggled for a response disappearing into the night and leaving an entrancing clarity. There was no other way to present this, and you had accidentally pushed yourself over the edge, a stance, a dare that you were no longer able to back out of. Facing the sun, you stepped closer and closer to it, and reached for the first item on the tray.

“Here is a little… thing I kept for you.”

“No… no way, is that melon pan!” he exclaimed, taking the small paper bag from your hands and peering inside, amazed to find his, and your favourite sweet bun. The crisp cookie dough layer solidifying the neat, recogniseable hatching, containing a custard cream inside, another homemade specialty. 

“You know, I recently found out that melon pan has another name,” dropping the bun back into the bag to give you full attention, Yeosang glanced back at you and pushed a stray strand of black hair behind his ear, preventing it from blocking his view. Gesturing for you to continue, he nearly squeezed the custard out of the bread upon hearing your elaboration: “a friend of mine, she works at a bakery in a city down south, and there, they call this sunrise bread. Funny, isn’t it?”

“So you bake suns in your oven?”

“Guess you could say that.”

How was it that you managed to leave him breathless regardless of the time you met was forever going to remain a mystery, but one Yeosang never wanted to solve. Instead, he was waiting with a fluttering heart for the moment you were going to say the words that had imprinted themselves in his eternal being, and travelled across from heaven to earth, from the east to the west, echoing in his mind as he searched for you over and over again until finally, your dawn could greet him. He remained silent, glancing at you and at the last hidden object on the tray, a box leaning against the glass jug, this time filled to the brim with a peach ice tea. 

“I… was at this antique store today. Don’t really know what brought me there but as soon as I saw this, I knew I wanted you to have it. I-... well, I don’t know if gods have birthdays but since it is the Summer Solstice, and you are basically the sun itself, I wanted this to be a little celebration of… you?”

“Of me? But-” never, not a single time could the divine being find rationality in your kindness, only the crossing of stars that tugged the fragile lonely hearts together into an intricate waltz woven in the skies. 

“Check it out!” 

Yeosang counted the seconds that passed once more, this night, this fateful night being so cruelly short, but so full of promise. His hands, trembling ever so slightly as he attempted to remove the lid, a trepidation taking a hold of him. Your infinite pools hurried him on with their anxious darting, and inhaling the sweet scent of the sea and his earthly home, he opened the box to reveal just what he had been anticipating, a relic, centuries-old masterpiece passed on from one you to another. Forever yours, finding its place in the same antique shop to return to him and to you, making another beginning. 

He searched for the ring at the top of the sun chimes, stained glass beauties attached by sturdy strings to a hook that, the next dawn would find purchase at the base of the bakery sign above the light grassy green door, there to remain for a measure of time. Lifting it out of the box, Yeosang admired the stars, the crescent moon, the sun that had been crafted and immortalised just like himself, ready to attract and dissipate every ray that would grace them. A miniature galaxy contained in impossibly intricate artwork, with every sparkle appearing to house a memory and still hold space for the near and far future. Your future, his future. Lost in the relief of meeting the object as though it was a good friend, he barely registered your diffident approach.

“So… what do you-”

“I love it, Y/N.”

“You do?”

“I do. And I think I know just where to hang it. If you do not mind, of course,” upon seeing your nod of approval, he lifted his arm to turn and point at the pretzel, gleeful when he saw your face light up brighter than the sun he was tasked to carry. “Let’s do it now, before it is too late to sleep and before the sun rises. So that I can visit you more while the days are still too long.”

Insisting on saying your morning goodbyes to him, even though barely a few hours had passed between the hanging of the chimes and the palette of the skies gaining lighter blue, lilac and pastel pink hues, you stood under them, huddled in a wool blanket to minimise the contrast of the cosiness of your bed and the breeze travelling down the still, somnolent streets, alive only thanks to the the scattering of lamps and the world surrounding them, watching over them. One blink, another as you tried to rid yourself of sleep to convince Yeosang that you were perfectly fine and ready to start the day. In reality, you simply wanted to catch the first glints on the chimes and follow his journey across the sky, dreaming of his sunset back in your bakery.

Hands concealed by the thick material and unable to smooth his shirt, you could only take a step towards the divinity, the action turning symbolic. What you did not anticipate, however, was that this dawn, he was more than happy to take over your duties and instead of him melting under your softness, your ears were turning red as he pulled the blanket tighter around you, taking its edges that were close to your face, adjusting the ticklish fabric like it was a one of a kind ball gown - unbeknownst to you, that was was exactly how Yeosang saw it, and when he saw you trying to nuzzle into it and away from his amused expression, he could not resist any longer, and with one final pull rested his forehead against yours, noses colliding briefly causing you to let out a feeble yelp.

“I’ll see you in the chimes later, yeah?” he whispered against your skin, the proximity proving intoxicating as you could only just register and make sense of his words, initial shock wearing off to lay down the path for the return of the same feeling from the earlier night, only this time more real, more certain fully reciprocated.

“And later. I’ll make more sunrise bread for you.”

“I think I know something even sweeter. If you will let me indulge, of course.” the last moment before the break of your dawn, a question by which the world was hanging in intimate suspense. 

The past, present and future collided as, in response to Yeosang’s careful request, you boldly closed the already practically nonexistent space between you, finally understanding the true meaning of being sunkissed. It did not take any time at all for the god to return the revealed fondness that you had kept guarded until it only felt natural to bring to light. Like the balmy immersion of the elements, suspended on the cusp of spring becoming summer, Yeosang leaned in with immeasurable affection as if he had been carrying it for all his eternity and kissed you like a long-lost lover who wanted to, through every movement, recollect the memories made, the days spent together, retrace the unity of two beings colliding into one entity, set alight like the brightest star in the universe. 

As he tried to remain more level, gentle in an effort to not expose you to the early dawn’s winds, you grew frustrated from the lack of true warmth, wanting to fly closer to the sun, into it, be consumed by it. Gliding your hands out from under the blanket, you reached for Yeosang’s shirt and pulled him towards you, dragging him impatiently to the open door where you promptly shrugged off the material. Perplexed and worried, Yeosang momentarily broke away from the kiss to ask you whether the action was comfortable.

“Aren’t you going to get cold?”

“Are you saying the sun god cannot keep me warm?” chuckling at the fluttering of his eyelashes, abashedness at your ambiguous choice of words evident on every part of his face, you let your arms rest on his broad shoulders, gleaming back when his own found your waist, playing with the material of your top.

Touching your nose with his own, he was shy in his advances, seeing every wrong turn and prospective hurt unfold in accompaniment to the tragically perfect duet of a mortal and an immortal soul. Knowledge of the lives you had lived, while it was a blessing, at the same time was a series of unbearable lessons that decorated Yeosang's heart like untreatable scars. The mark on the side of his face, your first ever caress, a peppering of butterfly-like kisses on his face, celestial stardust, which has manifested itself as a symbol joyously tying you to him, now emitted that familiar dull burning, having re-encountered its creator. This was an ache that he would give up the sun to experience again and again, the pizzicato thrill warmer than the coming heatwaves, than the surface of the galaxy's centre. 

"I don't want you to ever burn, Y/n." He murmured, understanding that the words would not hold as much weight in your interpretation. You took another step towards him, pressing yourself close, surrounding yourself with his solar flare.

"I trust you. Do you trust me too?"

"More than the skies above us, always."

"Then I know that we will be a beautiful sunrise."

He peered into your gorgeous eyes, looking for anything to stop him, convince him that he needed to step away, knowing full well that he would find nothing except his love returned, amplified by your own. Such was the merry-go-round of life that had been set out for you and Yeosang, an unstoppable turning of the gears that were set in motion by destiny. Now, the light began, soon there will be darkness, and in the future, foreseeable by the god, there will be more light. The sun will peek out from the edge of the planet, crawling across the foaming waters to call the residents of this town awake again and again, whether there was to be a town here, or not. The sun remained, and so did Yeosang's eternal wait for the next turn of the divine clock's hands. As he shut his eyes and kissed you once more, feeling heaven and earth collide, his musings reduced to a simple melody. He was happy that in this lifetime too, the sunshine found you.

[princesssmars]

i'd love just about anyone, so why was it you?

a victoria neuman x reader

your talent for singing is finally starting to take you places in the city of lights. so why did it have to introduce you to a woman who might ruin it all?

wc : 10.248

contains : fxf relationship. readers hair and skin aren't described. fluff. angst.nsfw including sex and language. the french. barely proof-read.

a/n : i cant believe there are no fics for this fine ass woman yet but i am nothing but a pioneer idk. in my daydreams this was like mafia au victoria but i literally never write or dream of those so i opted out lmao. go watch gen v. everyone always talks about how good the cover is but nonante-cinq by angele is a beautiful album so i recommend listening to that for french vibes. enjoy <3

it was the most stereotypical and overplayed song ever, but damn did you love la vie en rose.

just the concept of the song was romantic to you. to live every day like it would be magnificent, like you could know a day would be your last and look back at it and not regret a single thing. it meant looking at the world with a positivity that these days was mostly faked or artificial.

after the life you've lived, the things you've seen firsthand, you need that positive light in your life more than anything else. especially right now, as your manager is hounding you over the phone about your next gig.

now you loved your manager, nancy, you really did. she took you in and was honest when no one else would be, stood by you when no one else wanted to give you a real chance. but sometimes it felt like she didn't really believe in you. obviously, she believed you had talent, or else she would have 'left you in the dust for the rats to pick apart,' in her own words. it was almost like she couldn't fathom that what you had was real, like you didn't truly deserve all the things that were coming to you.

but as long as you were paying her, she didn't bother to speak up on it.

you were listening to her drone on and on into the speaker from your phone, holding the object up to your ear with one hand as you hold a menu to order something from the cafe waitress who's waiting beside you.

"ill have an uhhhh... le marie antoinette, and a coffee with sugar and cream please," you hand the menu to the waitress after she writes down your order, heading back into the cafe with a smile. this cafe was one of your favorites, nestled below an apartment building in one of the inner city arrondissements so you could sit outside beneath an umbrella and admire the city before you. "nancy, i don't see why i can't just...politely turn it down? it sounds like it's a glorified pin-up girl gig, le bellevilloise is offering for me to sing there exclusively for three months-"

"no, that's what im trying to tell you if you'd let me finish." you can hear nancy's telltale sigh through the phone. she had a short temper when she was stressed, something you sadly had in common, and you could hear her clicking a pen through the receiver. "this is an international gala slash fundraiser, attended by the one percent of the one percent. billionaires, senators, diplomats, everything. the event organizer asked for you specifically, so turning it down is a bad look. aka, you're doing it. go out and get a pretty dress. ill send you more details later."

the phone shut off and you let out a huff of air, crossing your right leg over your left beneath the table. once you have your meal and bite into your pastry you can't help but close your eyes at how good it tastes; the combination of the crunch of the macarons, the near-overwhelming sweetness of the cream, and the savory juice that leaks from the raspberries never gets old.

you don't know how you feel about this whole gala thing. sure its a great way to make connections and earn a fat stack of cash that will probably last you few weeks, but you've learned before that the people that you most admire, celebrities, politicians, even superheroes, can't be trusted. and being in a room full of them to perform wasn't at the top of your christmas wish list.

but like everyone else in the world, you were finding money hard to pass up on. just by the lowball nancy told you, you'd be able to comfortably pay the next month's rent and fix up your electric scooter, maybe even enough to save up for that beautiful flat you saw online with the grand windows and nice floor plan.

it'd only be a few hours of singing and kissing up to a bunch of snobs and you'd be done. easy peasy.

finding a dress wasn't to hard. your modeling connections from before you started to focus on singing gave you access to a few, good quality clearance pieces for your picking. you figure that the people you were performing for would prefer something classy and elegant, so you picked out a sleeveless black dress with black opera gloves, accessorized by a diamond necklace and earrings. one of your stylist friends, alex, who you asked to help do up your hair told you 'you're definitely gonna shag a rich man looking like this, just ask them if they have any friends for me!' and after a quick 'please don't wish that upon me' and a spritz of perfume you were ready.

the hours before you got on stage were nothing short of both nerve-racking but exhilarating. you rode in a standard taxi, your slight jitters noticed by the slightly balding man in the front. he eyes you pretty oddly when you got in the car before using you if you were a model, telling you that his daughter would like an autograph if you were. you felt slightly flustered when you had to tell him you weren't, but gave him some tips to tell his daughter if she wanted to pursue it. after around twenty minutes of driving through the city the car stops and you're escorted by a crew member into a grand building, those types you pass by and dream of getting the chance just to step into.

after that its a rush of meeting the event planner who gives you another run down of the evening and then meeting with the band members, a nice group of jazz players who you had heard about on the news for their blends of old and new methods of performing music. they played you a piece on their instruments in their dressing room, and it felt like hanging out with old friends listening to tunes as one twirled you around and the others laughed and the air felt warm and fuzzy.

later its time for your set, where you'll sing as the guests come in and take occasional breaks to save your breath and let whoever is hosting this talk. so you get up on your mini stage, make sure you look alright and you're in tune with the band, and then you do what you do best.

you've never felt better than how you do while you sing. every time you do so you tell a story, tales of success and tragedy and love and heartache. while you sing your favorite thing to do is to admire the crowd. when you were younger it gave you horrible stage fright, but as you grew up and saw just how much people loved your voice it made you confident, if not the tiniest bit narcissistic.

as you look out at the guests of tonight you see what's expected. important and powerful men donned in suits, their wives standing on their arms in glamourous gowns, you swear that you even see some fairly famous celebs in the mix, and they were all listening intently to you and your voice.

and that's when you saw her. near the back of the room with a glass of red wine in her hand, dark hair flowing over her shoulders, and darker eyes trained on you. in this profession you get used to people staring at you for hours on end, but something about this woman unnerves you slightly.

a short while later your set is over and after a round of applause the organizer tells you to enjoy yourselves, and that you're free to indulge in whatever food is left. after a brief touch-up in the dressing room and making sure you look presentable, you head out to get yourself something to eat. you keep getting stopped by people telling you how beautiful your performance was, how they'd love to get in contact with your agent to book you for future events, and your regular dose of creepy old guys hitting on you. but besides that things were going pretty well.

some servers were waking around with trays of champagne, but you figured since everything was complimentary you would treat yourself to something stronger. you head to the bar and order yourself a strong cocktail, and as soon as you finish your order a figure sits on the stool next to yours.

"get me a scotch on the rocks, thanks."

you glance at them from the corner of your eye and feel your heart beat faster when you see

it's the woman from before. from this close distance, you can admire her entirely, and god is she gorgeous. she looks so put together, not a hair out of place, and wearing a perfectly tailored suit that makes you guess she's some kind of wealthy businesswoman.

after not so secretly checking her out, she turns her body towards you and looks at you with a smile.

"im sure you already know, but you have an enchanting voice."

you look down bashfully, thinking the same about her. she speaks like she's so sure of what she's saying like there's no room for debate or argument.

"thank you. no matter if i know or not, it doesn't take much to make me a little nervous every time i perform."

the bartender brings over both of your drinks and she tilts hers to you.

"trust me, theres no need. you're nothing but a natural, one of the best singers i've ever heard."

"ah, now you're exaggerating. is there a reason you're complimenting me like you're being paid to do so?"

she shakes her head, setting down her glass of liquor with a clink. "not anything nefarious, if that's what you're thinking. just glad i get to talk to a beautifully talented woman."

jeez, she was laying it on thick. normally this was coming from some fifty-year-old man with greasy skin and weird teeth, but it felt nice coming from her. she was obviously gorgeous, leaving her body language open in case you wanted to decline and she would walk away in a moment's notice.

"im glad i get to talk to you too, miss?"

"victoria. its a pleasure to talk to you, miss y/n."

for around an hour or two the both of you sat at that bar, blocking out the fake laughs of investors and boisterous noises of people who got a little too friendly with the free champagne. she was so attentive to you. asking about what got you into singing and what brought you to paris by your non-native accent. you normally kept the finer details of your past a close-guarded secret, but you figured there couldn't come any harm from telling this attractive stranger a few things about yourself before never seeing her again.

"you're telling me at only sixteen years old, you flew to paris by yourself and made a living for yourself? you've got balls on you, sister."

"yeah yeah, but im nothing special. i just got tired of all the bullshit in the u.s., y'know? the greed, the cynicism, the-"

"superhero bullshit?"

you giggled while she smirked, observing your smile and how it made your eyes squinch.

"well i wouldn't put it like that but...superheros? really? its just, they make it so american, in a really really annoying way. i just couldn't deal with that being a reality. and where better than paris? it seems like voughts all but forgotten about it recently, thank god.”

"i understand. and i know we just met, but it does suit you. 'beautiful runaway finds passion, life, and love in the city of lights'. best cliche there is."

"and what a damn good cliche it is to be. although i haven't been that lucky on the love front."

her eyebrow raises and her nail traces around the rim of her glass.

"im sorry but i simply cant believe that. someone like you would have people lining up for a chance to talk to you, let alone date you."

you dryly chuckle before taking another long swig of your glass of champagne, dancing just on the edge of being intoxicated. you understood why everyone else was drinking this, it was sweet but strong.

"people have tried, of course. but sadly most of my escapades end in tragedy. very melodramatically. but enough about me, I'm guessing this isn't gonna go my way and you have someone waiting for you at home?"

"im offended you still think so low of me. but no, there was someone but it didn't work out. now its just me and my daughter."

god, she was a milf. if there was a god you prayed he would let you get lucky tonight.

"well, im sorry to hear it didnt work out."

"are you really?"

she looks at you with a smirk on her face.

"no, im not."

that was all she needed to ask you to come back with her to her hotel.

and not just any hotel, she was rich enough to be spending two weeks in the damn ritz. asking again what she did for a living didn't get you very far, the only hint you got being that it helped her change the world. ominous but whatever. it had to be legitimate if she was invited to that gala.

the cautious and common sense side of you is snuffed out for the night the moment she set her hand over the covered skin of your thigh in the car, the feeling of her hand on your lower back leading you through the pristine lobby of the hotel, that same hand helping you take off your dress and take you apart slowly over the rest of the night.

when you wake up the sun is peeking through the curtains, the softness of the sheets your laying on calling you back to sleep before you get up and look around.

you only got a few seconds to admire the room last night before victoria was on you, and now in the light of day you could truly take everything in. you find a note left by the woman, letting you know she had to leave temporarily for an important job thing and that she'd be back my lunch, inviting you to call up room service and enjoy the room intil then.

you were expecting for her to tell you to pack your shit up and go, so despite the oddness this was a nice surprise. besides, there was no way you were gonna pass up on ordering a five-star breakfast you didnt have to pay for.

after indulging in a meal brought by room service and finding ways to pass the time, you text your manager after she happily lets you know that your night was a success and that your payment should be cleared shortly. while you're in the middle of wondering if you should answer her query about the host wondering where you wandered off to last night, the sound of a door opening makes your head jerk towards the small entry area, victoria coming in through the doorway dressed in a tan suit and carrying a large black briefcase on her arm.

"ah, youre still here!,” she sets her bag on a glass table near the door and strides into the room, eyes connected with yours the whole time. you weren’t feeling nervous before, but under her gaze you wonder if maybe you should have taken that free meal along with some tiny soaps from the bathroom and headed back home.

“yeah, figured i’d stick around for whatever. besides, i had to stay and blame you for my manager thinking i got kidnapped.”

“i’ll make sure to apologize and send her an edible arrangement. besides, i hope to take up more of your time in the future.”

your eyes bulge so hard you’re sure you look like a moron. you cover it up by getting up to get yourself another cup of coffe from the tray the food came in on.

“well i should’ve guessed this was more than a one night stand when you allowed me to order up breakfast. but now i have to admit i’m slightly scared you’re actually plotting to traffick me.”

"trust me, that wouldn't be good for business. id just like to see you some more, if that would be alright with you.

was that an actual question? after the night you had and the way she’s been treating you, you didn’t see much of a choice except to say yes.

she tells you that a few hours later she has a flight back to america, but that she wouldn't mind spending the day with you if you're free. you agree to get a little bite to eat and it turns into a whirlwind day of showing her around the city you call your home. she has to wear giant sunglasses the whole time and have a mysterious security detail not too far behind, but you wouldn't change anything about it.

at the end of it all, she bids you goodbye in front of your taxi, admiring the cute outfit she bought for you so you wouldn't have to go home in your dress from the night prior, promising that she'll keep in touch with you once she gets settled in back a new york, jokingly telling you she'll send you a postcard. as you sit in the back of the taxi, your heart inflates a little as you take in the events of the last day. you never liked to mix business with pleasure in this way, partly because most of those business people were gross perverts and also that it could damage your career beyond repair, but with victoria you can't help but think that it was worth it.

eventually, a few days pass by, and the only calls you've gotten are from friends congratulating on what they heard was another great performance. and as nice as all the praise and the new gigs you started to get felt, the longer you heard no word back from victoria, it started to eat away at you inside.

back at your favorite cafe you sit with two of your oldest friends, jamie and chloe, as they ramble about the details of their changing lives and jobs. you don't know when you zoned out but eventually, chloe's manicured finger lightly pokes at your cheek, giggling when you make a playful motion to bite it.

"where'd you go just now? take me with you before jamie keeps talking about his new lover."

"hey!" jamie pouts, "you're just jealous because i've been regularly having passionate sex allll night long while you're still vying over your boss." you hear a shocked gasp behind him and you all turn to see an elderly couple looking at jamie like he's said the most blasphemous thing they've ever heard.

"really classy, james." you snort.

"what the hell! you're supposed to be on my side! everyone has noticed how you've been in a better mood since that gala. alex told us how they checked up on you afterwise and you showed up a day later with a new outfit and a hickey on your neck."

"that is- god, that’s so intrusive and so like them,” you rolled your eyes. you knew as soon as alex saw you that morning that they’d be gossiping to everyone about the state they saw you in. “and i don’t kiss and tell like that. at least not in public like this.”

“ok, so we’ll stop by your place tonight with some wine and talk all about it tonight. agree?”

“what? no-”

“agree!” chloe beams and shakes hands with jamie across the table, blowing you kisses before leaving her share of the bill on the table and leaving with some excuse of having to be somewhere. you glare at jamie as a warning before he gives you a kiss on the cheek and does the same. you grumble before biting into your muffin.

a few hours later you’re sitting on your soft sofa with jamie’s head in your lap and chloe on the other side, talking and laughing about old stories from your jobs. you take a sip of merlot right before jamie brings up what you were hoping they’d forgotten about by now.

“ok ok, enough chatter. seriously, chlo, you cackle like a seagull. y/n, when are you going to tell us about this mystery lover of yours? do you need another glass of wine to start talking?”

“don’t even think about pouring me another glass. look, there’s not much to say, ok? i was singing, she was staring at me from across the bar, we flirted a little, that was it!”

they stared.

“you want more?”

“how could we not? we haven’t seen you like this with anyone! not since we took you on that tourist tour on the seine!”

that…that took you for a spin. you remembered it clear as day, them tugging you along when they’d heard since you came to paris you’d been focusing on building up your image and working. it was more a joke, but the lights of the boat, the sky and the lights made you feel like you were in the most perfect moment of your life. hearing them compare that to how you looked now had a nervous feeling building in your gut.

“we spent the night together. and it was…good. really good. she let me stay while she went out, bought me a new outfit then said she’d be in touch.”

your friends are silent. way too silent. you’re afraid they’re about to laugh and judge you before they’re squealing and tackling you, pulling back when you groan after you almost spill your wine on your clothes.

"god, why are you always the lucky one? this isn't fair! at all!" chloe groans while dramatically resting her head on your shoulder, jamie still giggling as the wine clearly starts to take an effect on him. "please, please tell us what happens next before i scream."

"no thats- i mean, thats it. so far. for now." you stutter along your words as your friends' faces go blank yet again, except this time without a hint of a chuckle or smile.

"what the hell do you mean 'that's it.'? she ghosted you?" jamie gasps.

"no, she didnt ghost me-"

"sweetheart, im sorry to say this but you have been ghosted. in a really dickhead way."

"its not like that! she's a busy person with a serious job and a kid and responsibilities!"

you briefly hear chloe snicker "milf?" before you roll your eyes.

"she's gonna contact me. and even if she doesn't, maybe it was just a nice one-time thing! everyone knows I'm great at those."

jamie snickers before chloe smacks his shoulder in a second.

"why? why did you laugh?"

they share a look before she smacks his shoulder again.

"would you stop? i have pains, you know this. but y/n, we know you. we love you. but your latest stints haven't been...the most successful. or left you in the best headspaces."

"he's right, honey. remember the last girl, hannah? one of the worst situationships i've ever seen. you told us you would be alright when she broke it off and then we found you at that lousy bar at eleven in the morning..."

you start biting at your lip. there was nothing you hated more than when they told you the truth about how you could act. it wasn't your fault that all the time your relationships got messy, or that you got attached a little quickly. people didn't understand but a life like yours could be lonely. standing up on a stage and performing for people who want you to do just that and only that: sing and look like a glamourous pin-up doll. most of the time its the other performers who even bother to ask if your throat is alright after singing for hours.

so yes, sometimes you rushed into relationships. and you might have done it again in the dumbest way possible.

"i just...she let me stay after, y'know? and she came back and brought me with her again. why go through that effort just to leave me behind like trash?" your friends pouted before closing in to comfort you, rubbing your back and giving you small affirmations.

for a month you go into a rut. unless it's performing or going to the dentist for a checkup you don't leave your house. you become pretty good acquaintances with the grocery delivery boy, benny, who started panicking when he realized he forgot one of your items until you assured him it was fine. it wasn't the first time you'd grown so oddly attached to a romantic prospect, and it wasn't the first time you'd gotten hurt by it. you spend your time moping on your couch and binge-watching your favorite show for the third time when your phone buzzes from beside you.

nancy schmancy : call me.

you rolled your eyes. she could have just called you in the first place, but no. she had to be extra about it. you press the call button and don't have to wait even five seconds for her voice to ring in your ear.

"do you want to know what mister barbier just emailed me?"

"i think you already have that answer for me."

"he said, and i quote, 'tell y/n i send my best wishes. her performance last night was hauntingly beautiful, and i'm hoping it was one of her greatest acts yet.'"

"if you ask me, it sounds like i did a pretty good job."

"it sounds like he thought you were singing your damn suicide note!" she groaned, and you could hear her face scrunching from over the phone. "i don't know what is going on with you recently, and i don't want to sound insensitive, but if you can't manage to keep your work and personal life separate, even i can't help you make it far in this business. clients may say they want you to be expressive but they only mean so far. unhappy music means unhappy customers, capeche?"

"i understand, nancy. ill send a personal apology to mister barbier."

"good. ill call you soon to let you know about any new gigs. take care of yourself. seriously."

the line clicks and you toss your phone onto the couch and take another sip of sauvignon blanc from your rose-shaped wine glass. it pained you to admit it, but nancy had a point. if you kept letting yourself mope in your feelings you'd run out of people who wanted you to sing, and if the point came where you were out of gigs...you didn't even want to think about it. if you weren't singing you weren't living.

only a few hours after that call you manage to get back to normal. you go out and get your own groceries, deciding to indulge yourself and buy the ingredients for some recipe you saw online months ago. one of your clients cries at your performance, ecstatically telling you they'll be in talks with your manager to set up a stable contract. things really start to look up. two weeks later you even manage to get the number of a cute girl, elise, a tall woman with dyed hair who reached for the same vintage music box as you at an open market.

you're smiling as you look down at the messy ink on a slip of paper, the numbers and tiny smily face distracting you as you enter the hallway to your apartment. so distracted that you nearly trip over a object on the floor, looking down to see...a bouquet?

a really gorgeous bouquet you notice as you bend over to pick it up. its a collage of dusty blues and off-colored ivories, and when you brought it closer to your nose for a whiff you felt a sense of bliss. you bring it into your apartment with a skip in your step before you spot a piece of paper among the flowers, plucking it from the collection and reading it over.

upon closer inspection, you can see its a postcard, the cover a flattering shot of the statue of liberty with text that reads "love from new york city!". you try to calm your heart down at the location and the 'love' part, but you've already gotten your hopes up when you turn the card around to read the message:

xxx-xxx-xxxx

sorry for the wait. i'll make it up to you, angel.

you'd never felt so conflicted as you did in the past five seconds. half of you was vindicated that yes, this attractive woman didnt leave you high and dry and did actually have a deeper interest in you, but the other part was angry. and embarrassed that you were angry, because again, you spent less than a day with this woman, she didn't owe you anything. but also yes the hell she did.

before you could get yourself together you were harshly tapping the number into your cell, biting at your lip as the phone slowly rings.

"y/n, is that you?" echoes from the line, victorias voice sounding and running over your head like soft silk. no, no, stop it. focus.

"howd you know it was me? im sure you have other people who'd be calling you this late."

"certainly not anyone with a phone number from paris. besides, i was hoping it'd be you."

"well, i would have been flattered two weeks ago but unfortunately i dont think your words could phase me right now."

she sighs and the line goes silent. you feel bad for being catty for a few seconds before you brush it off. she's the one who played with your emotions and promised to call you but never did. she had this coming.

"im sorry, really i am. i've been busy with things at work and my daughter-"

damn it, she pulled the kid card again.

"i just...dont like being lied to. or led on. maybe its my fault for beeing too clingy-"

"no, no. dont apologize. if it means anything youve been on my mind for weeks now."

"yeah, same here. except my thoughts havent been all that nice." you laugh.

"deserved. and id like to make it up to you."

"oh yeah? let me guess, this time we'll spend two nights together?"

"close. how about two weeks. in new york."

you don't know if you should laugh. you feel like you should, so you do. but she isn't.

"you...you're being serious."

"im being serious."

what do you even say? what do you even do? of course, whatever higher power there is would make your life stable and steady for the past few months then throw this in to shake you up. you really should have been expecting it, considering...

you shake yourself back to the present. victoria is still waiting on the other line, unwilling to rush you into a decision, apparently. you'd applaud her for her chivalry if you weren't so stunned.

"victoria, come on. we've only met once, and while it was nice it was brief. now you want me to upend my life and career to jet off to america? it sounds crazy."

"you make me a bit crazy, honestly. besides, you were telling me in bed you haven't been in the states since you left, i have a feeling you miss it more than you let on."

you shuffle in your spot, reminded that you're standing in your cold-ass kitchen and you haven't changed out of the outfit you wore out today. but half of your uncomfortableness is from a feeling gnawing at your chest because she's right. at this point you can barely remember the night you left your childhood home, but you know it was rushed. you wanted to forget everything.

"i think you're also forgetting that i have a blossoming career here. are you gonna pay my definitely going to be pissed off manager her wages? plus i was supposed to be first pick for this really good gig-"

"i'll pay for everything, i promise. dont forget that i have connections. in two weeks they''ll be singing you praises across the globe."

you close your eyes and take in a breath.

"can you make my ticket first class?"

-

one thing you didnt miss about america? just how...much everything was, all the time.

your flight was quiet. victoria didnt hesitate to book you an expensive ticket, almost taking offense to your request for a nice one and scheduling you for business class, sending you a text to get lots of rest in the ultra-luxe beds on the plane. it was probably one of the best nights sleeps you'd had in months.

when you got off the plane there were two tall escorts holding a sign with your last name on it, taking the suitcases from your hands before you could say anything and leading you into a sleek black car. a voice in the back of your head starts screaming but you ignore it. for now.

the men in the car give you some basic rundowns, how they'll constantly be hovering over you during your stay for your "protection", and that they'll be taking you to settle into a hotel until victoria makes contact, and the little voice starts freaking out again and telling you that you've slept with and are fraternizing with a mob boss. at least it's more exciting than your last few flings.

the car goes silent after that, and you put in your earbuds as you watch the city go by. you weren't from new york, but you loved watching movies set in the bustling cityscape. the buildings really are humongous, and you see so many different types of people it sets your brain on a whirlwind.

you look back down at your phone after the fifth 'the seven' advertisement in one block.

yet again you're led into a clearly extremely expensive hotel, breezing through reception before you are led to a luxuriant hotel room, the bodyguards ignoring you as you giggle and flop onto the bed, waving them off when they tell you they'll be posted outside.

the sheets feel heavenly on your skin, and with the soft sunshine from the window beaming down on you and the gentle hustle and bustle of new york outside, you think you could fall asleep in a minute. but, begrudgingly, you peel yourself form the bed and open your suitcase to start putting your clothes away before taking a quick shower in the giant bathtub.

just as you exit the shower and wrap your body in a towel, your phone starts ringing and as soon as you read the 'v' in the contact name you push answer and bring it to your ear.

"hello? vic?"

"hey, hon. eager to talk to me?"

"you called me. and 'hon'? really? we've moved to petnames already?"

"figured id start making up for those weeks with no contact. and id like to do so again tonight. i wanna bring you somewhere."

your mouth quirks up in a smile as you re-adjust the towel around your body, the phone nearly slipping from its quick placement between your phone and ear, "id really like that. i hope its out to dinner, i didnt care to eat any of the plane food."

“yes, it’s to dinner. but its up to you if you want it to be fancy or casual. i know its tacky but there’s this pretty cute french place near where i live...”

“that vaguely sounds like an invitation to your place, but ill let it slide. are you gonna pick me up or are your special agents going to escort me everywhere for the next few weeks?”

“special agents? what agents?”

a bead of water drips from your neck down your back and it feels like the tip of a knife. a pressure builds in the back of your throat and your fingers grip the fabric of your towel. “what…that’s a joke, right?”

her laughter rings in your ear and you are seconds away from hanging up the call.

“sorry, sorry. i sometimes have a weird sense of humor. you'll get used to it.”

“i doubt it.”

“and i'm hopeful. i'll let you go so you can get ready, i'll be by in under an hour.”

you hang up after a sweet goodbye and gently sit on the toilet. your brain is rushing to catch up after the conversation like your body goes on autopilot when you hear victoria's voice. its terrifying and its thrilling. and you don't know why a part of you likes the feeling.

after you brush your teeth, do some quick skincare, debate over shaving just in case, and spend twenty minutes picking out a cute outfit, you finally hear the gentle knocking on the door while you're double-checking over the content of your purse.

rushing to open the door, you're greeted with the sight of a smiling victoria, her hands tucked into the pants of her clearly expensive pinstriped pantsuit. you're admiring the look of her hair tucked back into a ponytail when she's reaching forward and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

"you look perfect. come on, i made us a reservation."

and it turned out to be a perfect night. she did end up taking you to the french place, allowing you to order whatever you wanted. that place was weirdly empty, only a handful of other patrons inside. you were pleased to see that the waitress was french herself, having a small chat about the customs and foods she missed while she praised the authenticity of the food at the restaurant.

only a day and you had already forgotten how forward the people back home could be, because the waitress throws a subtle look at victoria and compliments you on finding such an attractive woman. when she leaves vic just smiles.

“ok, id say at this point we’re doing pretty good with the communication thing, right?” you ask, taking a sip of the pricey wine your date ordered.

“yeah, id say that.”

you finger the rim of your glass, the nerves getting to you before you ask your question. "i want you to tell me what your job is. your actual job, not some vague ass title. you have security following gus around, so i feel like i should know."

"no, no, you're right. i just didnt wanna scare you off. or have you think differently of me once i told you." she sighs, thumbing the napkins on the table. "i work in the government. i'm a congresswoman, to be exact."

you don't doubt she's a politician for a second, because she shows no hint of nervousness at your lack of emotion.

"are you...a good congresswoman?"

"i don't really know how to answer that." she laughs.

"i'm sorry. i knew you were important enough to be at that gala, but a politician is...tricky."

she reaches across the table and lays her hand palm up, smiling when you rest yours on top of it. "look, i get it. i should have told you sooner but please understand why i didn't. i wanted to get to know you as normally as possible, without all of the press and politics in the way."

"normally as possible, huh? that includes sleeping together on the first night?"

you're trying to show your acceptance of the situation with your humor, but you can tell victoria can sense your uneasiness at the situation. here you were thinking you had found some under-the-radar millionaire to dote on you and instead, you'd roped in someone whose job was entirely in the public eye that could be put in danger at the flip of a switch.

"how about we finish up and take this back to my place? i'll tell you everything that you wanna know about me. no matter how personal."

you stare into her eyes for a few seconds and decide that she looks genuine, getting confirmation that her daughter is staying with a friend before ending your meal and following her to her place.

for the amount of money she's ready to spend on you, you're surprised to see that victoria lives in a chic but quaint townhome only a twenty-minute walk from the restaurant. she gently takes off your coat and instructs you to sit with her on the couch, pressing on a remote to turn on her fireplace.

after a few hours and two more glasses of wine, victoria had opened up to you about nearly everything in her life. the mysterious death of her birth family, being adopted by a man who helped pushed her to go into a political career, her polite but loveless marriage with her ex. she even shows you a picture of zoe that she has in her wallet, taking the chance to gush over her daughter. she seems like such a sweet girl.

maybe it's the wine or maybe it's the way vic is opening up to you so freely, but you decide to tell her more about your past. how you always wondered why you barely stuggled moving to another continent at such a young age, or the fact that you dont even remeber why you had the drive to leave your parents home in the first place. you didnt even remember the last words you said to each other.

and throughout it all she's nothing if not attentive, she doesnt ask questions unless you give her permission too, keeping her eyes on you and gently placing her hand over yours.

you feel a turning in your stomach when she moves a stray hand of hair behind your ear. you told yourself to try taking things slow this time, but your body is starting to feel fuzzy and shes looking at you like she wants to devour you.

she decides to indulge you and gently brushes her lips against yours, smiling at the way your breath staggers. your head moves forwards to finaly get her to kiss you but she jerks her head back.

"i want you to tell me what to do."

god, your stomach feels hot. this is new, but a really arousing style of new. the last time you both slept together she had taken a careful but unwavering charge, unraveling you with a steady hand a sweet smile.

"cmon just...please?"

"no. tell me what you want me to do."

you sigh and bite at your lip. "i want you to lay me down and fuck me. right now."

so she laid you down and she did. there were no words to describe how much you enjoyed that night on her couch, the way she could read your body like a book and brought you to ecstasy again and again and again...

and when you wake up a soft blanket is draped over your body, a brekfast of coffee and some crepes set in front of you.

the days after are a whirlwind. discreetly as possible victoria takes you on a tour of new york city, to more expensive restaurants and hidden jewels that most tourists skipped over.

youre lounging in your hotel room when you decide to inform your friends of how your trip is going. while slightly hesitant they seemed more than happy that you were enjoying yourself with someone who took a genuine interest in you.

until you told them her job.

"my love, are you insane? a politician?"

"an american politician?" chloe gasps, continuing off of jamies shock.

"hey, im american too dont forget!"

"of course you are, but please, you understand why this is not good, no?"

"you know how fishy they are, especially with all the supe business going on. that place is getting more dangerous by the day, and i dont think you should be seeing someone whos contirbuting to that."

it pained you to admit it but jamie had a point. the three of you would always laugh in amused horror at how badly things were going on in your birth country, and the politics...it was less than pleasant.

not to mention the supe business. every corner of the world had to deal with the annoyance that was vought and their "products", even france. but so far you'd just had to deal with a few perverted looks from traveling supers and talks of some stupid theme park a few miles out of the city. meanwhile, it seemed like every day a new superhero was being introduced to the American public. it unnerved you.

"i understand. i appreciate both of you looking out for me. trust me, i'll be on my guard for now on." you mumble, picking at the material of your sleeve.

"of course, songbird. we'll call again soon."

the call ends and drop your phone on the nightstand. you look at the eiffel tower cutout in your phone case and your heart aches.

the next morning you're eating a a breakfast of coffee and fruit crepes when your phone rings, dragging your atttention away from the trashy dating show you were watching on the bedroom's tv. when you see nancy's name you hesitantly answer the call.

"nance? is everything alright?"

"everything is great. i'm just here to check in about your next gig."

"my next- nance, im on vacation. please tell you didnt forget and booked me for a job when im across the ocean."

"no, im not that stupid, hon." she sighs. "i didnt even arrange this job, victoria did. im just the messenger."

you blink once. then twice. you remember vic saying something about helping you with a job but you honestly just thought that was bullshit to get her to come stay with you.

(or get in your pants. but you don’t think you’d be too upset about that now.)

“ok. thank you, nancy. tell me the details.”

it’s a lot more extravagant than you expected. victorias friend, an actual senator, was holding a fundraising event for some government program he and vic were both involved in. nancy wasn’t told what the program was, but that you would have to go through a security debrief before being told you'd be given a team to help you prepare. and picking from a selected closet of dresses. fun.

you ignore the feeling of nervousness that’s building up in your gut. because while all of your gigs were important, they were never this important. you push it down as you call victoria and thank her endlessly, when you tell your friends the minimum amount that you can tell them, and when victoria picks you up from outside your hotel twelve hours before the event even starts.

she pressed a small kiss to your hand, laughing at the grumpy and tired mumble you let out when you sit in the car seat. it only passes once she gives you a coffee she picked up, the caffeine waking you up and putting a smile on your face.

the content feeling turns into shock when you enter victorias' place and see zoe, vic throwing a short explanation of “busy babysitter” over her shoulder as she heads into the kitchen.

its a bit awkward at first, sitting on one couch as she plays on a black nintendo switch on the other. it helps when you ask her about whatever she’s playing, the girl diving into a rant about the farm game she’s playing and how she’s trying to catch a certain type of fish.

victoria comes back with a tray of breakfast for the three of you before asking her daughter how school is going, how her friends are, etc. its nice to get a glimpse into victories private life during the morning, the close bond she has with her daughter. you notice some tension but decide not to bring it up.

the morning goes by too quickly, zoe being picked up to be dropped off at a friend's house after giving you a sweet goodbye and you getting rushed upstairs as the team comes to the townhome to help you prepare. its a nice change, having other people doll you up instead of having to worry about trying to do everything correctly and by yourself. and its a perk you don't have to spend your own money to do it.

the team members are nice but punctual, finishing your hair and makeup in record time with not a second wasted. you barely get time to notice yourself in the mirror before you're ushered into a gorgeous gown, soft fabrics and a chic and elegant style.

when your finished you’re finally allowed to observe yourself while your transportation and is prepared, and it feels like you’re looking at a dream version of yourself.

as you admire yourself in the mirror vic comes up next to you, clearly enjoying herself as her eyes slowly drift up and down your body.

“you look…ethereal.” she whispers, pressing a small kiss to your cheek after you turn to smile at her.

“only because of you. i don’t know how i could ever make this up to you, vic. this is just…”

“trust me, you’ve already done enough.”

while you knew there would be some press at the event, you didn't expect over two dozen paparazzi to quickly start flashing their cameras in your direction as soon as you got out of your ride. questions about who you were wearing, the relationship you had with vic, etcetera etcetera. you would've buckled from the sudden pressure if it weren't for victoria’s steady hand on your waist, the press of her arm through her red pantsuit.

the venue is downright insane, so grand you start to wonder if you're in one of those gilded age mansions you used to read about in new york magazines. climbing pillars and art on the ceiling of the main hall, which you don't get to admire since you’re yet again whisked away to get ready.

after a few more touch ups you aren’t afforded a minute to prepare, guided to the edge of the performance area. the sinking feeling is back in your stomach. the biggest moment of your life and you feel like you’re going to be sick.

the lights dim and you glide onto the stage, able to see the shadows of the guests faces from the flickering table lights. it’s eerie, the amount of them staring up at you with eyes you can’t even see.

you were given a set list a few days prior, only a couple of songs for the payment you would apparently receive after this. the songs piqued your interest, a collection of classical melancholic pieces from around the fifties. vic told you her friend was a vintage nut, but you didn't know why he chose these for you to perform when the event seemed to have an uplifting aura.

either way it felt…different, singing this time. the spotlight was on you and you’ve never felt as beautiful as you did in this moment. everyone was watching you, so hooked on the melodies escaping your body that you could see the emotions brining some people to the edge of their seats.

you don’t let it show but you grow a bit anxious at the sight of supers in their uniforms in the crowd. you don’t see anyone from the seven, but you do notice a woman you recognized from some commercial about climate change and earth preservation, the green of her dress and the nature motifs in her outfit give you a clue as to what her power was.

just when you feel yourself about to slip, dangerously close to hitting a note at a weird pitch, you see victoria, getting deja vu at the sight of her staring at you from the bar like the first night you met. she's looking at you like she's never doubted you for a second, like you're an angel sent from above that's blessed her life.

you hold her gaze when you sing. noticing the soft smile on her face when you sing a lyric about how the feelings in your heart feel so intense you fear you're going insane.

when the first song ends the lights come back on and you're met with a polite yet thunderous applause, the smile on your face so wide your cheeks start to hurt. the presenter comes back on stage, praising your performance with a swipe at his eyes before telling the guests that the host would be on shortly, and after he gives a short speech you'd be back to sing some more. with a gentle nod and wave, you step off the stage.

you feel like you're walking on air, with no doubt that was one of your best performances yet. your emotions got a little intense there but nothing you couldn't manage, and everyone seemed to like it anyway.

you're able to send a quick text and a picture to jamie and chloe before you hear the sound of the door to your quaint dressing room open, not able to turn around before you feel hands around your waist and plush lips on the side of your neck, the sight of victoria wrapped around you in the mirror making butterflies swarm in your stomach.

"i take it you liked my singing?"

"like doesn't even begin to cover it," she mumbles into your neck, raising her head slightly to be able to hold eye contact through the mirror. "i'm so lucky i found you, y'know that?"

you playfully brush her off, telling her you have to freshen up for some mingling before you get back on stage. she gladly helps you with your makeup, and while you weren't expecting her to be so touchy tonight you definitely aren't complaining, especially when her hand starts to drift closer to the space between your legs. it takes an embarrassing amount of mental strength to deny her, promising you'll continue once you go back to her place.

once you're finished getting ready she leads you back out to the hall, introducing you to numerous business people, politicians, celebrities, etc. you try not to fangirl when you meet a singer whose songs you've been obsessed with lately and when she asks you to perform at her cousins wedding. victoria just smirks when she leads you away and you let out a tiny squeal under your breath.

once the networking is done you're able to take the time to sit down and eat some of the catered food, almost moaning at the tastes of the food. you sometimes forget just how good food could be in the states, and these rich people pulled out all the stops. you try not to eat too quickly or impolitely as victoria talks with her tablemates, some people from her job apparently. after the first introductions and praises they gave you you mentally tapped out of the situation. she luckily covers for you when they question your mood, laughing when she tells them you've had a long day of being treated like a singing barbie doll.

everyone in the room quiets down when the hos taakes the stage and starts his speech. he introduces himself as robert stendham, and you feel a little embarrassed that this man gave you the chance to sing here and you didn't even know his name. you're thinking about how odd it is that you weren't introduced before this when he mentions something about the program and you perk up.

"...extend a personal thank you to general jameson for finding the time to escape his duties to fly in and be here with us tonight, and a special thanks to director neuman for helping me with this project and finding the beautifully talented y/n to perform for us tonight."

there was a brief few seconds of applause, victoria looking around and giving out smiles while you wondered what the hell she was the director of.

"as you can see, we have a few supers with us tonight. people like hazelwood, whose efforts against climate change have lead to over a dozen organizations plating millions of trees and clearing millions of pounds of trash for the ocean. because that's what supers are supposed to do-protect us. not act like degenerates who get to do what they want because of their abilities."

your eyebrow twitches, sensing the slight anti-supe propaganda from the end of his speech. well, not anti every supe, just the ones who act like gods among men, which you could understand. but you still felt an uneasy feeling rising in your stomach. you feel vic's palm rest over the top of your hand under the table.

"which is why im incredibly honored that director and congresswoman neuman has extended a hand to me to invest in the federal bureau of superhuman affairs, and to further extend that hand to you to help participate in this monumental institution..."

everything is a fog and your brain taps out once he starts talking about what this burerua does, how they closely monitor supes and jail the ones who've caused public harm. your head feels hot and your chest feels cold, and you can't stop your body from going on auto-pilot and excusing yourself to the bathroom before finding some balcony on the higher floor.

the cold air of new york shocks your body back into normalcy, but the pounding in your head persists. it feels like a panic attack ut so much worse, like your fight or flight has been activated without anything even happening. had you rushed into all of this? chasing a girl and a dream like you were a teenager again?

yet again the door opens behind you and someone comes to stand next to you, able to tell who it is by the scent of brown sugar and the glimpse of dark hair blowing with the slight breeze.

"you alright? mr. brandon from the tech startup was asking about you, tried to make me invest in some room light plant grower hybrid-"

"why did you bring me here?"

you cut her off and the air is quiet, save for the sounds of cars and the city and the wind. it's weird, standing in a tense silence like this with her.

"how are you feeling?" she whispers .

"are you- " you turn, nearly giving yourself whiplash with the speed at which you turn to look at her. the look on her face, like she's just observing you and how you're reacting. it only upsets you more. "are you being serious?"

"yes, i am. tell me."

"no, answer my question first. why are you avoiding it?"

she sighs, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face before reaching to grab your hand, which you hesitantly let her hold.

"as you heard, im part of a buereau that monitors supherhumans, keeping track of them, making sure they cant use their powers for harm. so far we've only had to deal with supes here in the states. until one day, this couple comes in that believe their daughter has used her powers on them."

she reaches for something in her pocket and your grip tightens. she pulls out a polaroid and holds the picture up for you to see. you feel like you're going to vomit when you see you, smiling, standing with your parents in a backyard.

"what...what is this? how'd you get this?"

"the couple gave me this picture, and told me how weird the least few years have been. friends and family asking where their daughter went, how she was doing, a daughter they didnt even remeber having."

you bring a hand up to your head, hopelessly trying to dissipate the splitting headache that's forming.

"but then they said the memories started coming back. glimpses of a child running in the grass, birthday parties, graduations, talent shows-"

"stop, please just stop." you gasp, hunching over as good as you can with the restrictions of your gown. it doesn't even feel like the world is just spinning, it feels like its being played in some celestial game of pool. "so what, you're saying...you're saying i did that? to my parents?"

"yes," she reaches for the side of your face, guiding you to look up at her. "and you can do so much more. you already have."

this can't be happening.

"why do you think people react so emotionally to your singing? you think its just because you're amazing? that's not even half of it."

your breathing is picking up again.

flashes of memories start appearing in your vision. so many happy times with your parents that you forgot, friends that you left behind. how your parents didn't support your half-thought-out plan to become a singer, how you made them forget. made yourself forget.

"i don't want you to think i did all of this just for what i want. i didn't. i care about you, and i want you to help me. but you need to trust me."

the blood is rushing back and from your head, and you think about how weird her eyes look against the backdrop of the city before you pass out.

finally. FINALLY. ong i wrote like 1k in the past day because i said just get this shit over with but its done! 5 months later! hope you enjoyed :)

[famcest]

Mom's Beginning Pt 3

Hey Tumblt. How have you been? In any event strap in because it has been a moment.

So......I at this point I had been talking to my best friend. She had become a bit of a sounding board for me during this time.

Over the past few months my son and I had started getting a little closer and more comfortable with each others bodies. Whenever hubby isn't home he and I will usually be found in just each others underwear. Incidentally I started being more comfortable with looking at his bulge, even buy him some underwear with a pouch in it to accommodate his size. He was proud of that.

And that is where the trouble started. Talking with my friend I was mooning over how sexy he looked in his new underwear. Well that is when my friend dared me to start walking around with no clothes regularly. I was too horny to stop and think so I agreed. Well that led to my son doing the exact same thing as he saw me.

Goodness. Some times I wish I wasn't like this. Every time I see him naked I get this sex fog in my brain and I cant feel like I think properly. My ears get hot my face get flush and I cant keep my thoughts properly. Cut to about a week of stolen glances of one another and walking in on my son masturbating freely out in the open. I still can't fathom how he can keep it up for so long.

After a few days of this well lets just say I couldn't control myself anymore. It was the middle of the day and had brushed past my son and felt his manhood poke my bottom........I guess that was the trigger because I marched straight to his room.

*************************************************************************************

The air was thick and the tension hung in the air. I just looked at the man that my son had become and I'm sorry everyone I gave in. I got on my knees and took his thick manhood in my hands and started pumping up and down. He must have felt the same because he didn't hesitate to grab me and start kissing me passionately and massaging my breasts. There came the sex fog because it felt like time had stopped and I lost all perspective outside that moment. Just rocking back and forth I never wanted it to end. I could feel the heat from his cock as I started quickly jerking him and playing with his pendulous balls. Well I felt that familiar tension in my man and sure enough moments later

I heard him groan and watched his eyes roll back in his head as I felt the thick jets of cum shoot out of like a fountain onto my body. I could've lived in that moment forever. Both of us breathing hard and just resting on the bed I felt like I was covered in a thick hot jelly. Just looking at my son wondering what it would mean now that we had crossed this line.

[aprettyweirgirl]

HEAR ME OUT.

Lin is injured, right? so shes being checked out by Kya in a room in the palace at the fire nation, Su wants to see how her sister is doing and tries to go in but gets her way blocked by Izumi's cane. She says, "You (bitch) are not going in" and Su like "you can't stop me from seeing my sister" (she doesn't know theyre married yet) SO IZUMI stands up from her seat and shes taller than Su so she towers over her and says "I am the Fire Lord, i can do whatever i want" she snaps her fingers "No one goes in unless i say so" SO THE GUARDS BLOCK THE DOOR AND SU IS LIKE 

"damn they must be really good friends"

because shes oblivious and a little shit so she cant fathom her sister married and being other than a lonely woman

[mvmnbnv]

Oh my goodness THANK YOU!!! I just saw your post about Cait, and I couldn’t have said it better myself! I like Cait’s character just fine, but I don’t like how (some) Caitlyn stans turn into dick riders who put words in your mouth when you even SUGGEST that she’s gonna be anything less than stellar in season two!

We literally saw her use her privilege all throughout season one! Her parents got her fired from the Enforcers! Which means she’s technically a criminal! But thanks to her Piltie status, her facing any meaningful consequences for any of her actions, no matter how well intentioned, is never even a question. It’s not “hate” or “comparing her to a dictator” to say that Caitlyn’s grief will turn her into the worst version of herself. There are crazy stans on both sides(and I say this as a Jinx stan) but certain Caitlyn stans need to learn that there’s a difference between criticism of their faves and hate. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

ong lol, and my position honestly comes from my stance as a vi stan, the way i see people act like Vi will be to blame for them falling out next season while simultaneously expecting Cait to be a cunt is so werid to me...like you expect and even want Cait to be an asshole but can't...fathom her doing anything that would make her an asshole??? its like they want their cake of cait being a cunt while eating up her not changing at all... hell people are already saying vi will "betray" her like its a fact. as if cait couldnt do anything to sever the relatiosnship while grieving...it has to be all vi's fault, and the betrayal in question is vi possibly not wanting her to kill her little sister...they really cant see cait doing any wrong to the point of calling vi a traitor for the crime of possibly not being able to hurt her own blood.

even last szn ppl irritated me with their predictions about how she'd treat jinx, acting like she'd be merciful with the mf that killed her mom. like what gives them that impression, did they miss the bit where she was ready to blow jinxs head off right in front of vi at that tea party?? even trying to convince vi she was too far gone?? shes definitely out for blood this szn

[mrsnancywheeler]

i’m back haunting your requests yet again with another silly little idea😍

we all know Conway is such a pookie bear, so he would NOT leave readers side after Finnick broke her heart- and god would he be angry. i don’t think he’d be able to help show his anger too, when comforting her and holding her while she cries he would definitely be muttering- “i knew he would be bad for you” “he never deserved someone as perfect as you” “God i hate him”.

this anger would get ESPECIALLY worse when he finds out all the things Finnick has said about her too:(

like he would be so angry and heartbroken for reader, so much that i can just imagine Conway confronting him for it.

Conway was one of the only people that didn’t go to Finnick’s extravagant parties unless reader wanted him to go, so now that they’ve broken up, he has no reason to go at all. Conway was literally the ONLY person who stuck by readers side all throughout. like, all of her friends still went to his parties while she was at home crying, but she was never alone because Conway was by her side all throughout.

Except for one night.

it was when Conway first heard that Finnick said all those things about reader and he was furious. not only did Finnick take the only girl he’s ever loved, even if she didn’t love him, but he shattered her heart beyond repair. all this anger finally caught up to Conway, so when he saw Finnick with his friends, all laughing while talking about reader, Conway couldn’t help himself. he’s never been a confrontational person up until now, when silently punched Finnick. Finnick would just stand there in shock while Conway stared at him with anger before muttering- “you’re pathetic” and walking off back to reader.

Usually, Finnick would’ve hit Conway in an instant, but he knew he couldn’t because he more than deserved this. He hurt the only girl he’s ever loved, he almost thanked Conway for hitting him. I can just imagine readers face when she finds out Conway hit Finnick. while she was upset, she knew Conway did it out of love, so her anger didn’t last long at all before she hugged him, a part of her thankful that Conway did it.

Ever since that happened, Conway would glare at Finnick in public whenever he saw him. BUT, imagine Conway was walking with reader and he saw Finnick, so he pulled her into a hug before putting his hands at the sides of her face before kissing her head comfortingly. Reader would just smile at him, thankful for his comfort as Conway smirked and stared at Finnick who had jealousy laced in his face.

He also did that when he was dancing with reader at the Ocean Festival thing in District 4’s plaza (I REQUESTED THAT BUT I CANT EVEN REMEMBER THE NAME😭) but yeah, Conway would always be so smug around Finnick now because he still has reader, while Finnick can only cry at the small traces he has left of his sweet girl, whether that’s her seashell he took, or pictures that were now stained with tears.

anyway that’s it, have a good day 🥰

conway would always be by reader's side, he instantly is there for anything she needs. he'll help her out at the market when she starts feeling a little less bubbly for a while, the emotions are a lot and it's hard to keep a smile on her face to sell things. he's definitely the person she goes to, showing up on his doorstep crying after trying so hard to keep her composure. and he definitely would be telling her all about how finnick never deserved her, how he knew it would be a bad idea even if reader is still defensive of him.

"don't say that, don't hate him"

and conway can't fathom why except that she's heartbroken right now. eventually she'll have to accept the truth and realize it, but she never does, just tries to act that way for conway who can tell she's not over it. he hurts for her when he realizes she's been cut off from a large social part of her life even if it means more time with him.

"we'll find stuff to do, princess, don't want you to die of boredom."

he knows how much it hurts even if tallulah is still finding her way to her place after every party, and people are still talking to her. although that's exactly how she finds out the things finnick had said about her to cover for the breakup. the new thorn in conway's side was beckett, who'd taken to trying to talk to her everyday since and was the one who let it slip.

"Just so you know, everyone's on your side, Finnick's a dick."

Conway would watch as she smiled, but her face etched with confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we know you, none of us think you're clingy or too much, we all really miss you."

Conway would watch as her face became vulnerable enough that the hurt could be seen and he'd shoo Beckett away.

"don't think about it, he's an ass, you're not any of whatever it is he's saying." Conway would reassure even though he could feel his blood boiling. He'd loved her his whole life and the moment someone else had her they had the audacity to break and keep breaking her.

"I just- he said it was because of..." Conway would hug his princess until she felt somewhat better, then immediately go to find Finnick. because he couldn't stop the pure rage and adrenaline he felt, how dare he keep damaging her from afar.

he finds finnick, his egotistical mask on, being asked where his ex girlfriend has gone, once again. to which he explains she wanted to much too fast, he refuses to be tied down, that she was too overbearing and then conway has his fist in his face. and finnick takes it because it's the least he deserves for how he's acting now, for how guilty he feels for it, but he's a teenage boy on autopilot.

and when she's heard about what conway did she's instantly mortified as she's examining his knuckles. "conway he didn't mean it, it was an accident, he messed up, everybody does sometimes." she tries to reason as she trying not to cry because she feels betrayed, not by conway, but by finnick. conway feels completely justified as he sits there observing his princess who's so delicate in the way she looks over his hands until she just hugs him. he hugs her back, grateful to be enveloped by her arms.

however, when he's glaring at finnick in everyday markets conway is oblivious to the way reader and finnick are sending mutual longing looks, unspoken messages to one another. he just hates that finnick still has the gall to look her way especially since conway is certain that in the end he'll end up with her. so he loves to make finnick jealous anyway he can, long hugs, picking her up, kissing her forehead or cheeks or hands, walking with her nearly everywhere. that was untill the issue of beckett prevailed once again and suddenly her time was taken by him. which conway despised as beckett was just another self-assured, better off then others boy trying to pique her interests. which he successfully did for a while, for what felt like another eternity to conway although she wasn't broken up after the breakup. in fact she still talked about finnick which was infuriating.

but he gets all her time again, to prove how much he adores her and additionally to rub it in finnick's face. he gets the dance when she's crowned as the oceans chosen one, he gets her touch, and maybe someday he'll get her kisses, and she'll get his last name.

it's giving finnick and reader being foolish one by taylor swift coded during this period of time

[toastywatchesstevenuniverse]

S1 E52

Jail Break

.

What.

The.

Fuck.

God dAMNIT REBECCA YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS TO ME !!!!!!!!

REBECCAAAAAA-

I....

I have.....so very, very, very, very many questions rn.

1.

WHAT THE FUCK GARNET WAS A FUCKING FUSION THIS ENTIRE TIME-???!?!?!?@@?@?!?!?!?@*#[×*'OWAN

WHAT

HOW

WHAT THE FUCJ YOU CANT JUST DO THAT TO ME THAT WAS LIKE A FRYING PAN SLAMMING INTO MY NOSE

WHAT THE FUCK

.

.

Okay brain being turned into goo aside: Ruby & Sapphire are fucking adorable. Their designs are adorable & they act adorable & then just-

They just let two gay characters be gay on screen & they didn't try to insist that they're "good friends" like

It's just gay shit

This was in 2013

Back in 2013 I was still in my denial phase. See when I was a kid, being gay was just an extremely common insult & any gay representing I saw in media was usually just "gay people are so fucking weird haha" & I was....

I was very insistent that I was straight. Like because I was conditioned to associate being gay as being a loser who gets bullied.

I wish I had watched this show back in the day.

I really did need a wake up call at that age.

But from what I see, this show clearly helped a lot of queer folk during a time where gay people weren't exactly being given the best treatment.

Not that we aren't targeted today but it was definitely way less common to see Lgbtq+ stuff in mainstream media. And I'm so glad that this show helped so many of you.

I think if I had watched this show back then, maybe 13 year old Daniel might have made better choices. But I'm glad I saw it now.

Okay let's just get it out of the way.

So uhm....J-Jasp....J-Ja....Jaaas- Y'know uh that uh....uh the uh...J-....J-Jasper. Uh............

Daniel stop immediatley falling in love with every buff woman they see challenge (Impossible I can't help it woman who are built like tanks make my nonbinary ass go brrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR)

Ok don't get my wrong Jaspers an asshole & I'm glad Garnet fucking kicked her shit in but like.....I mean I can't fix her but I still would.

Also THAT FUCKING SONG

Oh my God THAT SONG WAS SO GOOD THAT WAS A FUCKING MASTERCLASS MUSICAL PIECE

PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION

"YOU'RE JUST MAD CUZ YOU'RE SINGLE." YEAAAAHHH GET HER ASS GARNET YOU FUCKING GO QUEEN SLAAAAAAYYYYYYYY

.

I am.....I am beyond floored. I am under the floor.

I cannot fucking fathom what insane shit lays ahead of me. But if THIS was only the first part.....oh God. What fucking insanity awaits me in the future. I am headed into a storm & I am not turning back. Together we shall face this storm & prepare ourselves for what we shall witness. Come my friends, let us set forthwith.

My brain is fucking goo & I cannot type coherently rn. Oh my God this was a fucking masterpiece. How is this only season 1? You're telling me it's gonna get MORE INSANE? I AM GOING TO BE LIQUID BY SEASON 4.

Also kinda fucked up that no one said anything about Peridot. Just kinda ignored the fact that she is possibly dead?

Like, is no one else concerned about this? Like, not one of you said anything? Like, you guys were with her you aren't even gonna say anything? Damn.

Fucking cold.

Anyways I'll be making some adjustments to the masterpost & once that refinement is done, I'll be starting season 2

Also from now on, every episode, I will do a drawing to add to the post. This will make posts slower but I think it'll be fun. And it'll help me with my art block struggles

Also it's an excuse to draw Pearl. ♡

See you guys in Season 2!!

- Sincerely, your moderator

Daniel (a.k.a. Toasty)

[xoluvx]

hello my loveeee! I was the one that had a little query i need some help on. Thank u for hearing me out, okay it’s a long one so STRAP IN (not the smut kind HAHA) alrighty Welp here goes

I’m in love. And I’m in love with someone I can’t have. Last year I met this girl, she’s way older than me and is already in a committed relationship for years. But anyway. I Met her at work, she originally trained me up to do my job and then we bumped into eachother at a convention. Since that day we became friends and regularly (monthly and sometimes weekly) planned to see eachother. Eventually she left her job and moved to another role in the organisation so I still got to see her. Anyway, then we did a big group activity with another friend of hers and I had another friend of mine, but i told her I missed her cos i didn’t get a chance to talk properly. AnywYs, few months go by, still the same stuff happening it’s going fine. Altho She had some serious health issues with her family earlier in the year and I told her I was there for her if she needed ANYTHING. And then July comes by. Man. I probably had one of the worst weeks in July, and I didn’t even tell her half of it. She didn’t even ONCE say “oh I’m so sorry to hear about this I hope you’re ok, or NOTHING”,. Eventually I updated her on one thing and she was like “you did good”. THE HECK? Then she made me a beanie (she loves to crochet) as a token of support. But after that? NOTHING. We’ve barely texted, our next organised day to see eachother isn’t till THE END OF OCTOBER AND I ASKED FOR OUR NEXT ACTIVITY DAY BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST. ITS A TWO MONTH WAIT, R U KIDDING. And now she’s hanging out with the same friend we did our big group activity with along with her partner. She met this other friend before I came along and they’ve known eachother for years. And I’m VERY aware of it. Bht I get so jealous every time they post shit together because a year ago that was me. I just don’t understand where it all went wrong. I have one bad week and it’s like i always need to be happy otherwise I’m no ‘use’ to her. I’m barely in my 20s. She hasn’t even reached out to say she ‘misses me’ like she used to. Reciprocation is non existent.

’ve been so blinded by her, and fueled my fantasy of her that when i take the rose coloured glasses off i CANT Even fathom the true person she actually is. She’s still that person I was in awe of at the start, but picking up on things she says and does makes me raise eyebrows, and frankly it breaks my heart because it hurts so much. It hurts so so much. She played me like I’m a fool and I was so blindly infatuated with her. She was also really touchy felt too, we held hands and hugged all the time. I had never had that with a friend before.

She opened my eyes up to affection I had never had, i wrote her letters on her birthday, gave her gifts, chocolates and food. I had NEVER done that for anyone else that fast in my life. I even purposelfully made myself stay up late for her till 1-2am just so I could message her cos I knew she’d be up at that hour. And I’m so scared that I might be losing her after falling down the rabbit hole. Y’all I was so careful. I WAS SO SO CAREFUL AT THE START. BC I KNEW WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO. And then she just drew me in only to spit me back out. And I feel awful. I feel like a dickhesd for falling in love with a girl that only broke my heart more. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get out of it.

Thanks for reading this, I’d love anyone’s advice and thoughts. I love you x

dear anon that fell in love with someone they can't have,

this was a doozy. when i tell you i went through every emotion-

first, this isn't your fault. you physically cannot control who you fall for. no matter how careful you are. especially considering this person led you on and made you feel like there might've been a chance at something more.

second, you have to set boundaries with this person. maybe that means cutting back on your monthly activities little by little.

i think everything happens for a reason and everything has a purpose in the longer scheme of life. some people are meant to just be in your life for a short time. it seems like this is the case. you shouldn't stall your life because of this person.

i know this is all so much easier said than done, but it's time to move on with your life even if it means leaving her in the past. your heart will heal, but you will never get those years you've spent pinning over a person who could care less about your well-being.

i love you. thank you for sharing with me and trusting me.

calling all my babies - additional advice is welcomed 💖

[carmenized-onions]

HEY LOVELY!!!

Been a while since ive done one of these. Im re-reading AGAIN and forever will be. im obsessed, truly.

Through re-reading this hit SO hard.

“The other shoe still hangs in the air; but not in your bed.”

LIKE WHAT? HELLO? KILL ME? Your writing is phenomenal. i cannot fathom how you do this EVERY CHAPTER.

Anyway, im so exited to read every chapter to come. Am i in love with Tony? maybe a little (a lot). I was also wondering if you have anything planned for after you finish Chicago's finest? Another The Bear book? or maybe something else entirely? Not to rush you or anything, obviously. Im just so incredibly nosy. My deep apologies.

Just to tell you for the millionth time, im in love with you, youre writing, Tony, how you write the characters, EVERYTHING. gives me life.

me when i hear anyone coming even CLOSE to me while im reading Chicago's finest.

me planning a characters slow and painful demise when they upset Tony. (love you Carmy. not really. no, joking i do. maybe not. NO I DO I SWEAR.)

me trying to act casual when i see you've posted.

ALSO

me trying to act casual when Tony and Syd are interacting. (Dont worry, babe! by Chappell Roan? Who said that...?)

ANYWAY (for the second time) very sorry that this is just me rambling about stuff you dont want to hear.

Hope you're having an amazing day/night, lovely!!

I've stuck you in perpetual re-reading hell have I? My deepest apologies. Esp since I've been chronically re-reading in my brief basically hiatus as i write, I USE SO MANY COMMAS GUYS??? WHY WERE YOU LETTING ME GET AWAY WITH THAT??

the revisions once the series is finished is gonna go CRAZY.

Anyways, SUCH A DELIGHT to hear what silly prose of mine sticks out to you!! thank god you think i do it every chapter!! i am constantly doubting each chapter (man why do you think 15 has been so delayed? LMAO)

I adored using the other shoe as a through line throughout the Troubled Angst arc, one because it's very canon, but also because its very much a thing for me, like, when a good thing happens, cannot HELP but wonder how it's going to get fucked in the end.

which, after telling my doctor that, got reccomended the same books i reccomended carmen LMAO. love you son <3

THANK YOU FOR LOVING TONY!!! I love her dearly, I put so much of myself in her and also so much of what I see and love about my darling friends; my sweet darling dashing hero complex burden carrying the guy overconfident yet under confident tony. My sweet babe. the people love you!!

As for when I finish Chicago's Kindest (PUNCH BUGGY ACAB!! FUCK THE FINEST!!), I'll probably certainly absolutely take a break from writing for The Bear for a bit (though I'll definitely be around to answer asks!! duh!!). But once I return, I am hoping to...

If you send in little blurb requests for Chicago's Kindest, I'll do em!! I know esp with like Mikey/Chip there's a lot of bits that have been spoken about but never actually written out and lived. So like. If you got requests, send em in, I might write em.

I promised a SquidInk spinoff and bitch you're getting one!! There's two different ideas I've got twirling around for them at the moment, they might combine into one one off, or two separate things, who's to say!

More and More I cannot see RiChip as anything more than a platonic duo, but like, maybe I'll try to write something about them? I do adore those two. I just cant see em doin a kiss. that's just bad for my brain.

And I have no hard plans atm, but like, I'd like to write something for RIchie in general at some point. What about and what of? Idk. Certainly not a series this long. that's for fucking sure.

I don't think I can ever write for Carmen though again LMAOOO, it's only Tony for me atp. Like I can't pair him with a new reader, I'll fucking freak out. It's Chip or Die, y'know?

And while I have an epilogue planned, once Season 4 comes out, if there's something interesting that I feel like I wanna throw my hat in on, I'll come back for a Chicago's Kindest Season 2, so to speak. But no promises. They will probably give me nothing to work with, with how our stories diverge. who's to say.

anyways! not nosy!! sorry for talking about it for so fucking long!!!

i'm so glad I write the characters well, please note that it's cause I'm always freaking out about it. I am re-writing bits of lines all the time to make sure it suits their voices and decisions ,and even still i have changes i wanna make looking back LMAO

DONT CRASH OUT WHEN READING CHICAGO'S KINDEST LMAOSOD where is everyone typically when reading CK?? I'm usually on the subway editing my google doc lmao

and listen, every time i re-read Just Dropped i'm like damn. why did i not go with the punching route. should've cold clocked his ass. (love you carmy but JESUS CHRIST I WROTE ALL THAT??? WHAT WAS I GOING THROUGH MY WORD???)

THE LAST PHOTO ALSO?? i know that's a classic promo image but what the FUCK IS RICHIE DOING IN THE BACK? WHY ARE YOU SITTING LIKE THAT??? SIT UP BIG MAN WHAT THE HELL WE RUN A BUSINESS GIRL

Always rant and ramble to me!! Love to wake up to spam in my inbox. even if it takes me ten years to answer (sorry to everyone still trapped in my inbox, i love you babies)

all of you are really gonna hoot and holler when you see the squidink playlist, truly, it's so gay and sad. i love those idiots. when do i get to make them kiss. is it now? i hope it's now.

anyways i am SO LATE TO GO TO BED I'VE GOTTA GO BABIES BUT THANK YOU FOR CHATTIN WITH ME SORRY FOR TALKING FOR TOO LONG <3 HOPE I GET YOU YOUR NEXT CHAPTER SOON BABY I'M SORRY FOR THE FORCED HIATUS

[dededaio]

I like the kirby anime but I really hate how it takes almost all agency away from kirby. Things just kinda happen to them and its so bad that Kirby cant even hold their own in a fight without Tiff commanding them like a pokemon. I view kirby as a reactive protagonist but Anime kirby isnt even that, they just stand around and let stuff happen to them unless another character interfers. Kirby feels more like tiff and tuff's battle monster buddy than the protagonist. the anime is full of issues 1/2

While I'm Dedede biased I definitely think this is the worst thing show has going for it. Kirby should be a PROTAGONIST but he doesn't feel like one. He feels like a secondary character in his own show, that's ridiculous

And then some people can't seem to fathom how Kirby can work as a protagonist without any support characters... You can still have them, most shows have main character with two friends that help them out. Issue lies is that Kirby is a dumb infant so he can't do anything on his own. No other Kirby media went with that depiction and for a good reason. It severely limits what kind of stories can be told with him without him breaking established character.

It could work if anime was sorta coming of age story. But it can't because it's firmly set to be forever in it's status quo until the finale (even then only thing that changes is that Nightmare dies lmao, Dedede remains the same as ever for instance)

And the worst thing? Some episodes did give him agency, especially the infamous robot dog one. Which shows that at least some writers on the anime staff knew how to make silent protagonist Kirby right. But then literally everyone else took an easy way out of focusing on Tiff and relagating Kirby to a plot device that saves the day in every third act of the episode.

[caffeinatedopossum]

i remember when i first started seeing you on my dash i just,, did not like you, i cant remember why or if i even really had a reason why i was just like hmm i do not like this individual. time went by and i saw you more and more on my dash through mutual reblogging and i think either i accidentally followed or intentionally followed you, and ngl best decision ever because i've come to realize just how cool you actually are and i can't fathom why i wasn't vibing with you before reason why im saying this uhhh idk its just been on my mind, i think you're very neat thank you for existing and seeing you on my dashboard has turned from curse to blessing, and has honestly made me rethink my knee jerk negative impressions i have towards random people and to consider really thinking on why i don't like them have a good day or night orrr whatever time it is for you, you very cool person :D

Oh my god this is probably the coolest ask I've ever gotten, thank you so much

Depending on what time frame and like what posts of mine you saw, I could definitely get that. I honestly didn't start opening up as much on this blog until I started ed recovery, about a year ago, and even now I'm still kinda just always coping with humor and I bet it comes across as shallow sometimes. Idk though, maybe you had completely different reasons.

Either way I'm really glad you're here and liking it now ^_^ I'll never resent anyone for simply not liking me but it makes me really happy when I can be something that people like too

I hope you have a good day/night too!!

[ouchieow]

I cant do it anymore

i just am so fucking suicidal but in such a frustrating way. I can't fucking kill myself because my mom has dementia and won't die even though she should've by now. she was such a bad mom, i hate how conflicted I feel about her, I wish i could just love her entirely or hate her. i'm the oldest sibling, I can't leave my sister and brother without an older sibling *and* the loss of our mom in the next year. my parents found my pill stash so even if I finally got up the courage i can't even attempt.

Someone said grief is love in a big coat or some shit like that. but when you're dealing with the slow agonizing death of a parent, love just seems like grief waiting to happen. I'm so scared of the idea of losing friends, so I just don't talk to anyone. it hurts to not talk to them, even though it's entirely my fault, but it's easier to leave than to be left. also in some ways it's to protect them if I end up killing myself

I hate my ugly ass SH scars, but i love them. I hate how they make me look, but i want dozens more. i want to go over my face so people can finally see how bad I am doing.

School is the only thing keeping me going. I don't know how i do it. my grades are so good, i might be the valedictorian. but i just wanna give everything up. no one thinks i'm struggling because the only way i'm judged is on performance, and i just am good as BSing everything and getting good grades. i wanna present how i feel, i feel terrible so i should be doing bad in school right? but i can't even fathom the disappointment from my parents if i fuck it all up now.

I wish i could just stop existing, and every memory of me would cease to exist. i want to kill myself, but i don't want anyone to feel my loss. i want to go to sleep and never wake up, just fade away

[novaauster]

HELLOOOOOOOOO im reading the narines fic and thought id live react here bc i just KNOW im gonna have THOUGHTS let's go!

"The prince--king--piece of shit-- is obsessed" off the bat i love your nate characterisation like his povs always have that snarky edge to them and u got that off the bat

"He’s in his dressing gown. White silk, tied with a wound-dark sash at his waist, open down the navel. His snake, Kidaro, is slung around his neck like a priest’s stole, warming itself on his skin." THIS FREAK RIGHT HERE HAS CAUSED EVERYONE ALL MANNER OF PROBLEMS TONIGHT. TOXIC YAOI WONT FIX HIM BUT IT WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT IT ALL

"a fanatic to the hate that he inherited" LOVE this wording

THEY'RE SUCH CUNTS TO EACH OTHER I LOVE IT

IT'S THE KIND OF DARKNESS YOU PRAY TO HMMMM

the way the signs of respect and fear are overlapping ohhhh i love that

'“It is a small room in which nobles and officials debate policy decisions…” Herines launches into an automatic explanation before remembering who he’s talking to. “You’ll see, raven.”' actually laughed out loud at this bc it's SO HIM. herines is a nerd first tyrant second

THE FIREEEEEEEEEE OMG

"A clear-headed Herines is a dangerous Herines, one that looks at him, curious, like something to dissect, one that could figure out that Nate can heal himself but he can’t regrow an amputation. He can’t survive a decapitation, and Herines’ dagger is long enough to try it." your writing is so captivating im literally here like OMG WHAT NEXT at every sentence they're CRAZY crazy

"'I fucked your brother" THE WAY MY HANDS FLEW TO MY MOUTH. INSANEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IM GOING INSANE

'declawed' is an excellent way of describing nate when he hits his exhaustion

NATE IS GETTING BATTERED RN OH MY GOD MY BOY GET UPPPP YOU'RE EMBARRASSING US 😭

also having nate repeatedly break his bones to escape his restraints is such a cool move bc it's SO something he would do

"What made you?" "You did." YOU'RE PAYING FOR MY THERAPY

THAT WAS A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. YEAH I BASHED HIS FACE IN WITH AN OIL LAMP AND HE KILLED ME WITH THE SASH OF MY OWN ROBE BUT WE ALSO FUCKED NASTY. WE EXIST

genuinely that was so so so good i literally had heart palpitations i was so excited i cant believe there's tbos fic on ao3 now im losing my MINDDDDDDDDDDDd i will reread this 5 more times tonight probably

omg tysm!!!!

nate's characterization is extremely fun, if there is one word i'd use to describe it's instigator. he's not stupid but he will always say the bitchiest thing possible at any possible moment and i love him for it. rin is also such a freak i can't fathom what is wrong with him. what mommy issues will do to an mf in charge of a country on the verge of civil war. i was extremely proud of the fanatic line

"it's the darkness you pray to" was also a fun one, yeah. nate's relationship with the gods that gave him his powers and then abandoned him. darkness, something that might be profound and beautiful, but still by definition hinders any human. the overlap between respect and fear as a result of nate's trauma as an oppressed wiser and a violent rebel

rin's nerdiness was just delightful. like yes he wants to dissect nate like a cow's eyeball and yes he uses his intelligence for evil. but that is by nurture, by nature he's just curious. and it was very intentional that the things that make him snap are the thought that nate might've hurt drako and then later that nate is hurting kidaro

"declawed" was definitely a choice of words, i was googling "synonyms for harmless" because harmless is not at all how i would describe him, and eventually it came to me. and yeah he's really getting battered. it's hard to balance or strike with your hands cuffed behind your back. F in the chat for my boy

"what made you" "you did" the drama. the intimacy. the way rin is searching in the wisers for an origin to the cracks in his family but his family made the cracks in the wisers instead. nate might be an instigator but rin is a tyrant and he sees that when he looks in the mirror. they're character foils your honor

again, thanks for the ask!! :-D

[rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me]

Ghost!! The next song is ghost! I love this song and It fits Dally so well.

I'm searching for something that I can't reach

M/C wants freedom from family obligations. Is trying but cant seem to reach it.

I don't like them innocent I don't want no face fresh

Good boys bore M/C. IDK they're just so predictable?

Want them wearing leather Begging, let me be your taste test

Dallas's leather jacket anyone? Also? Going for ice cream with Dally and he gets some flavor M/C hasn't tried before and if they're anything like me they hate ordering anything that they aren't familiar with so Dally kisses M/C after finishing the ice cream to see if they'd like it. (He could have just given M/C a bite but Nooo, not Dallas Winston.) (I cant stop making serious lines lighthearted and fun because have you met that little goofball?)

I like the sad eyes, bad guys Mouth full of white lies Kiss me in the corridor But quick to tell me goodbye

OH OH. They have a thing that happens where Dally is kissing M/C goodbye and a "friend" (Person that M/Cs parents want them to be friends with) of theirs shows up an Dallas ditches quick and M/C understands why but it still hurts a lil bit.

You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway

My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul you used to be?

Next verse is about fake bf cause he hasn't made an appearance in a while.

You're a Rolling Stone boy Never sleep alone boy Got a million numbers And they're filling up your phone, boy

Fake bf cheats. A lot. Now Dallas knows he doesn't really have any reason to be mad, him and M/C are not exactly "just friends," but it still makes his blood boil. He is so envious of fbf that fbf gets to openly be together with M/C that he cant fathom anyone having them and still choosing to sleep around. he just doesn't get it.

I'm off the deep end, sleeping All night through the weekend Saying that I love him but I know I'm gonna leave him

Meanwhile M/C is preparing themself to leave fake bf. They don't know if their going to do it but they're pulling away from their parents, more fights, etc.

The end

Sorry for any inconsistencies in the plotline. I'm trying.

I hope you know how much I enjoy your asks. You break the songs down so diligently and include such awesome stuff. The ice cream detail? You’ve got me giggling and kicking my feet. That’s adorable. Love the fake boyfriend plot piece and the hurt M/C feels when Dally leaves. This is absolutely fantastic and I’m so blessed to have you in my inbox <3

[obsessivefangirl]

YOU'RE AWESOME

YOU'RE SUPER TALENTED

YOU'RE WONDERFUL

YOU'RE ONE OF THE NICEST PEOPLE EVER

YOU'RE AMAZING

YOUR STORIES ARE AMAZING

YOUR CHARACTERS ARE AMAZING

ALSO YOUR HEADER IS REALLY CUTE I NEVER MENTIONED THAT BUT YEAH

YOU'RE REALLY FUNNY

YOU REALLY LIKE THE SKELEBROS WHICH IS. THAT'S WHAT GOT ME INTO THE FANDOM IN THE FIRST PLACE AND WE HAVE A LOT OF THE SAME IDEAS FOR THEM AND THAT'S REALLY COOL AND NEAT >:D

SPEAKING OF CHARACTERS WISP IS. AMAZING. HE'S SO WELL-THOUGHT OUT AND A BAB AND HE'S NOT PERFECT BUT HE TRIES AND HE LOVES HIS BRO SO MUCH AND IT'S SO CUTE AND HGHGHGHH EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM, MAKES SENSE, LIKE HOW HE SHOWS AFFECTION AND STUFF BECAUSE OF HIS BACKSTORY AND JHSGDHJDSDSJGHSDH I COULD RAMBLE ABOUT THAT FOR A LONG TIME

ANGECO IS!!!!!!!!!!! BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS, E HDSGHDSJGDJHDSGSJGSJHHGHGHHGHGH

AND AND AND DOGGO AS, RESULT AND HIS STORY MAKES SO MUCH SENSE AND THE, GRIEF HE'S GOING THROUGH

THE WHOLE FECKIN CONCEPT OF SSYSD IT'S SO GOOD AND. SAD

YOU WRITE THE BEST ANGST

AND THE BEST FLUFF

YOU'VE MADE ME GIFTFICS AND THAT'S RIDICULOUS BECAUSE YOU DID NOT HAVE TO AND I LOVE THEM

SPEAKING OF YOU WROTE MY OWN AU

I'M STILL???????????? TRYING TO FATHOM THAT TO THIS DAY BTW LIKE, YOU DID NOT HAVE TO AND IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME

AND, AND THEY'RE SO CUTE IN THAT FIC TOO YOU CAPTURED THEM SO WELL AND HGHGGNGHGHGHGHGHHG

YOU DID NOT HAVE TO MAKE ME THAT ONE BIRTHDAY GIFTFIC EITHER BUT I WAS DUMB AND DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT MY BDAY BEFOREHAND BUT YOU DID IT ANYWAY BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU'RE SO SO KIND

YOU PUT UP WITH ME

YOU PUT UP WITH ME TALKING TOO MUCH ABOUT MY OWN AUS AND IDEAS

YOU PUT UP WITH THE FACT I'M A CERTIFIED IDIOT

YOU HAVE GREAT MUSIC TASTE

I LOVE YOUR. TAKES ON THINGS DHDHJGHSHHG I CAN'T, WORD PROPERLY HERE BUT YEAH

YOU DON'T LIKE PICKLES BUT I AM WILLING TO FORGIVE YOU ON THAT

DID I FECKIN MENTION THAT THIS FIC EXISTS: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43315656

AND YOU'VE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT MY AU TOO BEFORE LIKE YOU'RE, ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN IT AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY

AND EVEN. THE WARRIORS THING THAT I MENTIONED, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT SURE IF YOU KNOW ABOUT WARRIORS OR IF YOU LIKE OR ANYTHING, YOU STILL LISTENED TO MY IDEA!!!!!

YOU LIKE KOMODO DRAGONS AND I THINK THEY'RE COOL TOO

I DONT KNOW YOUR FASHION SENSE BUT I THINK IT'S COOL

YOUR DRAWING STYLE IS???????? SO CUTE?????????????????????????? WAIT NO HOW HAVE I NEVER MENTIONED THAT EVER

YOU MAKE ME LAUGH A LOT

THERE WAS LIKE. ONE DRAWING YOU MADE AND SHOWED ME AND IT WAS FUNNY DGHFGGHGHGHGHG

WAIT NO THERE'S BEEN LIKE TWO FUNNY ONES

PROBABLY MORE ACTUALLY BECAUSE I CANT REMEMBER GOOD

YOU HAVE CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHICH IS AUTOMATIC PLUS IN MY BOOK >:DDD

I LOVE SEEING YOUR ASKS IN MY INBOX

I LOVE WHEN YOU GIVE ME STUFF BUT *YOU DO NOT HAVE TO, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST!!!!!!*

YOU LIKE TRUE CRIME LIKE I DO

YOU LIKE CREEPY THINGS

YOU LIKE HORRORTALE!!!!!!!!!!!! WHICH IS GREAT BECAUSE IT'S MY FAVORITE AU AND IT'S SO UNDERRATED IMO AND IT'S GREAT AND YOU'RE GREAT

YOU DON'T MIND THAT I'M. TOO LOUD OR TALK TOO MUCH AND STUFF

I LOVE TALKING TO YOU CAUSE YOU'RE FUN TO TALK TO AND JUST. ONE OF MY BESTEST FRIENDS EVER AND I LOVE YOU

YOU'D MAKE ME ROMANCE GIFTFICS JUST TO MAKE ME HAPPY EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT YOUR THING AND THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME LIKE. MORE THAN I COULD PUT IN WORDS

YOU'RE SO SWEET AND THOUGHTFUL AND SUPPORTIVE!!!!!!!

THE WHOLE CONVERSATION WITH YOU ABOUT THE MIDNIGHT THING AND WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS ACTUALLY THE NEXT DAY AND ME BEING A DUMMY AND, MY EPIPHANY ME ABOUT IT WAS GENUINELY ONE OF THE MOST HILARIOUS THINGS AND WEIRDLY ONE OF THE BEST THINGS THAT'S HAPPENED BECAUSE I CAN JUST LAUGH AT MYSELF AND YOU GET TO TOO

YOUR FEEDBACK MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY AND YOU MAKE ME REALLY HAPPY WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY AND JDFGHDGJHGSJH

I JUST LOVE YOU A WHOLE LOT AND YOU DESERVE A LOT MORE COMPLIMENTS THAN THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ALSO JUST. YOUR COMMENTS ALWAYS MAKE MY DAY AND NIGHT WHEN I SEE THEM. AND THIS COMMENT ALONE THAT YOU LEFT ON DRAWN TOGETHER MADE MY ENTIRE DAY TODAY:

Rereading this and. Ouaghhhhhh

Angeco doesn't realize how he gives in his own way, and he's just so. Determined to make his brobet happy

AND HOW WISP CHECKS UP ON HIM?!!! He's so loving and protective...

Not to mention how worried he is because of his strange acting fjfbfbhhhg

And how when Angeco stiffens he falters and respects his boundaries but also is just. Really :(

And noooooooooooooooo Angeco self consciousness :(((( he's just. Baby.

Wisp is such a sappy loser <3

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'M NOOOOOTTTT

OUAGHHHHHH WHY DID YOU DO THIS I DON'T DESERVE IT 😭😭😭

[summertimeskinney]

lol just ranting

anyone else at the point where they are just maintaining even tho they arent even close to their ugw? bc im 130 rn and maintaining it but my ugw is at least 74/75 but im just at the point where im not always completely disgusted by my body because im looking at it more subjectively and i dont think i would look good skin and bone.. honestly i dont even know why im doing this anymore. Like i dont even remember why i started doing this in the first place. my hw was like 150-160 and the only reason i became aware of my weight was because authority figures in my life were pointing it out (according to my bmi i was only slightly overweight) I started losing weight rapidly in freshman year because i discovered proana and found a community of people who were in the same situation. and i was praised.. by everyone? i was starving, then i was binge/purging. how did i even end up like this? i mean ive never really had the best relationship with food but i was only overeating a bit. now i eat until i feel so sick that i puke or am in physical pain. i can make myself throw up on demand now? ive gone literal days without eating anything. like nothing at all besides diet soda, sugar free monster, and water. im at the point where my brain is in a constant battle between the decision to binge or starve. i'll just be minding my business than my brain will be like "if you were 80lbs it wouldn't be this way" or "you're so fat, it wouldn't even be hard to be 100lbs or less. like. what are you doing? why are you so heavy and gross?" it won't stop. and instead of starving like i used to i just binge, like all day. and i dont purge either.. i don't even know whats going on anymore. im not depressed like i used to be, but i can't get the thoughts out of my head. i guess you really are in it forever? i never really believed all the warning posts about how bad eds are and how you can never go back, or maybe i just ignored them. i cant even fathom what i really look like. i have body dysmorphia in all the ways. not only do i think that despite being 5' tall and 130 lbs i would fit into anything bigger than a small. i feel gross, but ik that when i go to the doctor she's going to say that i need to lose more weight because im 2 lbs from being in a normal bmi rage. despite my titties literally weighing almost 10lbs. but then i already have troubles fitting into clothes, most places don't carry more than a small or xs in person and almost never go over a small online. i am already an xs - small as an "overweight" person. I cant imagine how hard it would be to find clothes that actually fit me at 75 lbs soaking wet. i saw a video by jesse page today talking about how she always thought that to be a princess she had to be as delicate as possible and never take up space, but then how after gaining weight she fit her princess dresses better and relearned how to feel beautiful. i want to be a delicate little doll that you could toss around and never took up a whole seat. a pretty little doll that you had to be extra careful with because you didn't want me to break. ik its not good to feel this way but i can't change the temptation to forever be empty, live off candy and diet coke, and never eat real food again. to be more of an object than a human being. but then the logical side of my brain pipes in and is like hi, i dont care what i weigh but i want to have a strong healthy body with some good biceps. i dont know how to help myself or be normal.

anyways

im fasting n laxing tmrw bc i need a cleanse. lol bye