#can't do any of that rn but i can hope!!!

[hardware-sparks]

Soda if it was cool and I looked how I wanted in a human vessel

[pigeon-butch]

I certainly have my own concerns about the treatment of moo deng but um. well i think some of you may just be racist

[jamboreeartsupplies]

they're getting fitted for a new clownsuit !!!! not done yet but soon hopefully!

[immortalsins]

trying to get work done today is like. lets learn how to do inverse kinematics for my robot. whats the general form of the matrix again. does my mother deserve to suffer a period of me distancing myself from her. will i survive doing that. what order am i cascading these matrices in

[girlivealwaysbean]

on one hand completely ignoring your emotions is soo good for my mental stability and productivity but man i miss staring at the ceiling and listening to sad songs on loop

[jichanxo]

hey i'm back to be annoying about sensei fic i don't remember if you've talked about that before (i think you did), and also i'm afraid that it may be considered as a spoiler (?), but! how much of amasawa and itokura's story will you include here? (they are very important to me, your honour) (the potential of parallels to kwgm is here as well and everything)

never annoying! I’m enjoying writing my paragraphs of rambling, so thank you more under the cut again lol. spoilers for lost judgment and also my own fic i suppose lmao

this is kind of difficult to answer because I don’t want to overpromise anything… I am unfortunately a “fuck it we ball” writer which means I am not really used to planning anything at all really (which is why I write mostly oneshots. I usually write everything blind) and that means that while I have ideas about what I want to do, I can’t really say anything definitive until I feel out my plans more concretely…

for what it’s worth though, I’d be shocked if amasawa and itokura didn’t appear the most out of everyone (aside from yagami and kitakata), since the mrc is effectively the centrepiece of both plots: being the main reason kitakata and yagami see each other, and of course I’m going to try and make an altered version of the school story plot work here. I expect there’ll be more of them than kaito and sawa, certainly…

one of the planned major beats in the kuwagami plot is having yagami actually let kitakata in on the professor investigation and not just blow him off. he might think that kitakata will just get in the way, but he has to accept that kitakata’s interest in the investigation and care for his students is legitimate and valid! keeping him in the dark and ignoring how he feels is wrong! anyway. my point is, that to resolve this plot beat, it’s unavoidable to talk about itokura and the professor, so no matter how I end up getting there, itokura (and by extension amasawa) are going to be crucial. you’re right about the parallels angle too… gonna gnaw on that… gotta figure that out… kuwagami but if they were both girls and in highschool and more emotionally intelligent… the idea of kitakata and yagami being a mess and super lame while the kids in the club are much more put together? it’s just too funny to pass up on… I can already imagine itokura complaining to amasawa about how she wishes they would just grow up already.

amasawa and itokura are really great and I also like them a lot! there’s a lot of interesting stuff with them to grab onto, both with canon – yagami’s relationship to them both, and with new stuff – inventing new stuff for them with kitakata! itokura and kitakata especially feel like a surprisingly natural fit – kitakata who wants to make sure no student around him feels the way that kusumoto mitsuru did, and itokura who was estranged and pushed out of school by her peers… it’s a relationship that would be engaging and interesting to develop on both sides… I really can’t pass up on that… so thematically rich… I imagine their relationship rn as being kind of awkward and a little tense. they probably get along best when they’re talking (cough arguing cough) about mystery novels.

one of the things on my to-do list for sensei fic right now (aside from taking thorough notes on school stories and general editing) is definitely trying to feel out this relationship, in particular before yagami enters the picture (@/four-white-trees poked me about this ages ago. thank you!!) presumably kitakata doesn’t let all of that happen to itokura without trying to do something about it, right? and yet, he still fails. yagami’s intervention is the one that brings itokura back to school. hence why I imagine things between them being a little awkward… that shared history…

though I imagine that it piques kitakata’s interest that yagami succeeded where he’d previously failed. So yknow. This Too Is Kuwagami. A surefire way to make kitakata fall in love with you: 1. be hot 2. legitimately care about and take action for the wellbeing of students

anyway! while nothing is set in stone, that’s what I have in mind about amasawa and itokura right now… though most of it ended up being about itokura… there’s still a lot I gotta figure out, but I’m definitely looking forward to poking at them some more! Itokura’s attitude is going to be a lot of fun to write, and amasawa is always a delight, and I love having her be the voice of reason between kitakata and yagami when they’re being ridiculous lol. thank you for the ask o7

[hikeyzz]

.

[hooved]

i know everyone's told me to rest because i'm sick but i just can't. it doesn't feel right. i need to do everything i can rn because i'm scared that any second we'll be told to get out NOW

[guinevereslancelot]

shoutout to girls who can't drive

[cathymee]

i'meating crackers til i turn. 19

[akordiart]

i don't like being vulnerable / sharing personal stuff but things have been getting so bad with my parents lately so i've decided to ask for help..

please help me move out of my toxic parents' house

i'm constantly living in survival mode here and i can't seem to even relax or sleep properly. i recently got a diagnosis for anxiety & depression that i got referred to bc i was having heart/chest pains and the scans turned out fine (ie. my stress was manifesting physically and the dr referred me to a therapist for stress)

i wasn't diagnosed with it but i also relate a lot to ptsd symptoms, but it's not just post-traumatic, it's also current-traumatic lol since my parents are the reason why i suffer with it(extreme stress, nightmares, constantly on edge, concentration & memory issues, etc) everyday

i have no career in sight (i have 2 degrees and have had no luck in jobs with either of them and i can't even seem to get cashier/minimum wage jobs) and my art has been my only hope of earning money so i can move out of here ASAP. i really can't live with my parents any longer; i feel so trapped and i'm constantly stressed about doing things right/wrong or forgetting to do chores that will set off my parents and explode at me or threaten me and i just feel like a prey animal living in constant fear of my parents every single day.

it's been like this forever lol but recently it's just been getting worse which i didn't even imagine was possible and i just know i have to get out of here soon bc.. my mental health will get so much worse if i don't.

i also have commissions open and my print shop is here

thank you for reading all of this and for considering to help!

some of my art below the cut in case anyone is interested for commissions

[tiny-tokunaga]

It's a Doozy™ tonight, folks

[scallisaac]

can i be hypocritical for a second

[solis-angelus]

A Plea for Some Helpful Advice

(short vent? Underneath)

I'm being very mature about my gradually spiraling mental health which shows it's face in forms of sudden bouts of anger, hatred and mostly crying. I feel hatred and envy and jealousy and vengeance and whatever whatever towards almost all of my family members, each at different random moments of time. I never felt this way even a year ago. (Because i used to? idk? Really love and appreciate my family. My family has no reason to deserve hatred and anger and jealousy from me..well other than some reasons but none thats of imminent concern or a direct and expected case of family conflict.)

I don't know what's happening with me but what I do know is that it's getting incredibly difficult to not draw attention to myself, in the form of desperate on-the-verge-of-crying nagging to my mother to talk to me, praise me, pay attention to me etc, sudden shouting, or bad behavior in general. And this scenario becomes ten times worse when I count in that I am involved in a joint family structure. We are visiting my aunt's house tomorrow and I'm hoping to just wing the interactions instead of excessively worry and counterproductively predict my bad behavior with family.

So, the aforementioned (in the first line) step of solving this thing is— obviously running away from home. And that is what I'm going to do. Not in the bad connotations no, I'll be civil and behave like a normal human being and rely on my "increased college exposure" excuse to get myself a college in a faaaaaaar away state, that the family won't be able to visit often. It's gonna hurt like HELL to not be able to hug my mother in person, and I know it's gonna be sad for her as well.

She doesn't want me to go. Since my father passed in 2021, we've taken in my cousin brother (whose parents are incapable of parenting). Taking care of a child at her age is no cakewalk (i help obviously). Our presence presence helps each other a lot, just seeing the other's face after a long day is the anchor to this tiring life we've found ourselves in. And I really have no reason to actually go out of city this early. Other than the aforementioned spiral into insanity. and also because if I stay in this city, I'll have to devote a lot of time to my cousin brother (aged 7, so u can understand what i mean). Both taking care of him and his academics as well as existing for his secure attachment relationship etc whatever etc. Plus there's always something or the other up with my aunts and uncle, and being the eldest's (my mother's) daughter, and being their reliable long term unofficial therapist, the duties fall on my back like they belong there. And juggling all this family, plus travel time to and fro my college and home, I won't get much extra time to STUDY (which yk, a normal 19 Yr old is supposed to do instead of taking mental responsibilities of their entire clan). Also minor sidenote: I'm tired of it. I'm tired of doing this. I don't want to do it anymore. I want out.

My family is GREAT btw, I have a great family, they've done many many uncountable good things for me since my birth to till date, so yk I have no room to complian. I shouldn't complain. But since this is a deserted alleyway in the middle of a fuck-knows-where universe— a.k.a. the internet and in a website where nothing is there and everything is there, I can say it, let my illogical words out, sometimes. screaming into the void and all that.

So, if you've reached this far, can u PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE???

Some disappointment? (god knows I deserve it), some hope? (..I kind of want..?), BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, SOME ADVICE (I NEED IT.) Reviews, criticism, I'll take anything. Please. Please please please

[honeysunchild]

I wish my parents wouldn't make my life so miserable

[vivwritesfics]

rn i'm thinking about oscar dating a single mum

(actually, i saw THIS FIC by @httpsleclerc (which i will be reading later) and it got me thinking)

oscar, who's on a run in monaco. headphones in his ears, blocking out the noise of his surroundings. he stops his run to have something to drink. when he does, a little girl runs in front of him. "excuse me, mister," she says as she looked up at him.

oscar wipes his mouth as he looked down at her.

her toe points out like a ballerina. "do you like my shoes?"

oscar crouches in front of her, giving her his full attention. he looks at the sparkly pink shoes on her feet. "wow," he says as he looks down at them. "they're very nice, very pink."

"thank you!" she cries, almost exasperated. "my momma hates them."

oscar looks around, looking for any sign of the girls mother. "should we go find her?" he asks, sure that someone would be running around in a panic looking for her. "then we can tell your mum how cool they are."

the girls face lights up as the girls grabs oscar's hand. "she's over here," she says and pulls oscar along.

they come to a bench. on that bench is you. your eyes are shut, hidden behind sunglasses. you aren't snoring, holding a baby against your chest. an exhausted mum, oscar recognised immediately. "is that her?" he asks the little girl and she nods her head.

"momma has been really sleepy since cooper was born."

oscar stands up straight. you look exhausted, like you needed this sleep. he sits your little girl on the bench beside you. "let your momma sleep," he said to her and she nodded her head.

at that minute, you wake up. your clutch your son to your chest and stare at oscar, eyes wide. "who are you?" you gasp, grabbing hold of your daughter and backing away from him.

oscar holds his hands up. "your daughter came up to me," he explains. "i was just making sure she got back to you."

you look down at your daughter, at amelia, and she nods her head. "i asked him if he liked my shoes and he said yes, momma!" she calls as you put cooper in his pram.

you stare at oscar. he didn't look like a creep. no, he looks sweet, attractive even. you hold your hand out and amelia grabs a hold of you. "the shoes are a nightmare," you say as you begin walking away. "they get glitter everywhere."

with that you walk away, filled with hope to see the handsome young man again. oscar can't help but grin at you as you go, just as desperate to see you again.

second blurb