#can't cry but i would if i could
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you ever just love writing but also hate it
i probably just gotta stop overthinking tbfh
#☆ ooc#wanna write. have the time. no inspiration#also; just read a bizarre book#it likely influenced my writing when i answered threads today#and i'm not sure how i feel about that#can't cry but i would if i could
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I want you whipped into shape!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#yu ziyuan#wang lingjiao#wen zhuliu#'When I say jump - say “how high'”? You know you're doing it right when you start to cry!“#Of course I can't resist the Legally blonde reference. This is the Elle Woods is canon in PD-MDZS blog#I love this scene so much. There are a lot of things to say about it and I would go over the limit if I indulged.#Suffice it to say the main takeaway *here* is that I think YZY is milfboss of the millennia.#I intended for this to be posted on international women's day but my ambition led me to keep trying to make it better.#And by better I mean I spent several days (re)drawing this one and that is **not** what poorly-drawn-mdzs is supposed to be about.#I will be making the next few comics worse to compensate <3 At the very least I will honour my time and tag it as 'better drawn'#('my time' spent hunched over my desk while I chant 'this concept is *not* above my skill level!' over and over again)#Funny story about PD!Wen Zhuliu; he was supposed to show up sooner but I kept accidently cutting the comics he would have been in.#So I like to think he just went on a long coffee run. 'Go get me an (insert coffee chain) pink drink' said Wen Chao.#'He never said from which location' said Wen Zhuliu as he proceeded to walk 100km to the farthest cafe he could find.
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One thing I wish I'd see more of among Ratio fans is some thought about how he views himself as a teacher.
Like yes, of course he refuses to compromise on the quality and rigor of the education he imparts, and he would find it unforgivably unethical to lower his standards in order to pass more students who had not genuinely learned the material. This is core to his character.
However, as someone who is a teacher IRL, I know the absolutely miserable feeling setting that kind of standard can cause. There's the obvious disheartening sense of disappointment ("Are students these days really not capable of doing the work correctly? Is our future in danger, if this is the highest level of understanding our current generation of students can achieve?"), but even worse than that is the self-doubt.
"Is this somehow my fault? Am I not teaching this material in the right ways for the students to learn? Is there something I could have done differently to get through to these students? Would a better teacher have a higher passing rate?"
We know that Ratio does (or at least did) struggle with feeling inferior to the Genius Society, so I think it is also likely, as much as he absolutely will not budge on his academic standards, that he has doubts about his teaching ability as well.
This is the man who wants to educate the entire world to cure the disease of ignorance, and yet only 3% of his actual students are able to get there. How can someone who gets so few of his direct students to a state of enlightenment hope to enlighten the whole universe? If so few students are successfully learning the material of a given class, doesn't that mean the teacher is doing something wrong?Would a better teacher--would a genius, maybe--not be able to impart their knowledge more efficiently and educate even the most challenging of students?
As someone constantly struggling with that balance between keeping academic standards high while also meeting the needs of today's students, I think the passing rates of his courses must affect Dr. Ratio much more deeply than I've seen fans discuss. I think he would question himself harshly over his class success rates, and I think he must be constantly trying to push himself to become the best teacher he possibly can be.
tl;dr: I hope one day the HSR fandom will stop sleeping on the fact that Ratio is an actual practicing professor who probably has astronomical levels of teacher angst. 😂
#honkai star rail#dr. ratio#not to be#ratiorine#in everything I post but#secretly this is just an excuse to imagine Aventurine throwing Ratio a sympathy party#a “Let's eat our feelings" party because the doctor just got his course evals back#and there are some insults on there that would make his ancestors cry#I can just imagine Aventurine reading out the really obnoxious Rate My Professor reviews#in whiny entitled voices#just to squeak a smile out of a gloomy Ratio#but I also really like the idea of Aventurine helping Ratio become a better teacher!!#because he's sharp and a fast learner#but he doesn't have a background in formal/public education#he's not set in the system's ways#he could suggest some really out-of-the-box ideas to help Ratio get through to more students#and be a great sounding board for Ratio's lesson material#brutally honest feedback lol#“Ratio I am in love with you but I still can't listen to you talk about gravitational time dilation for one minute more”#“You're going to HAVE to make this lecture less dry than my martini.”#look let me just enjoy this teacher fantasy for a sec#lol
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It's his angry expression for me
#PRETTY BOY COULD YOU PLEASE YELL AT ME#I WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST PERSON#AAAAGGGHHHH#I CAN'T STAND HIS BEAUTY#I AM A WEAK WOMAN#HE'S SO PRETTY I MIGHT CRY#armin arlert#aot#snk#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan
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happy 8th anniversary!!!
#undertale#undertale anniversary#undertale 8th anniversary#undertale fanart#7 years of undertale for me jsjs#i almost can't believe it#i could say so much about this game but i would cry#this thing literally saved my life#so many good memories#<3333#✩
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the flowers for the wake were lovely, weren't they?
#SO. I FINALLY FINISHED SEASON 2.#the finale was fun. i liked it a lot more than s1's admittedly#now i'm ruminating on the finer details of kuroba's side of it...#in my head the skit / segment for it would be called kuroba's melancholy so i might start calling it that#i can't decide if they'd still be there when totoko's reading her letter at the funeral tho#like i feel like matsuyo and matsuzou would have invited them to stay but there's a part of me that thinks they'd politely refuse#they'd thank them but feel like they're interloping a bit. after all the rest of them have known the sextuplets for all their lives#they've only known them for around two years at that point so they think it'd be best for them to leave with the rest of the visitors#( they also don't know if they could handle sending them off to cremation. they've had to do that before w/ hibiki and it was rough )#also i kinda like the idea of kuroba running into homura after the wake and becoming acquainted with her#probably stumbles upon her crying in the park and offers her a handkerchief & a person to talk to...#gotta put my head in my hands and sit for a bit#also almost forgot to mention : the earrings they're wearing are kara's white day gift to them#they hadn't gotten the chance to wear them yet...#osmt#osomatsu-san oc#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#mj draws#tw implied death
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The big problem with Rauru Tears of the Kingdom 2023's writing is that he acts as if he's owed everything and owns everyone --even when he cloaks it with the veneer of care, selflessness, or tragedy.
And if only this had been a conscious writing choice, explored and unearthed through the course of the game, he could have been the most interesting and layered Legend of Zelda character of all time. 😔
#thoughts#totk#rauru#totk critical#when will my brain return from the imprisoning war...#they ALMOST struck gold#and I can't believe they didn't commit#they had everything to gain by committing#zelda's character arc would have been improved#the plot of rebuilding hyrule would have been improved by setting up an example of what NOT to do#and ganondorf's character arc (crying) would have. existed.#and rauru could have been a complicated figure with an uneasy role to play all across the game#a guy who had dreams and tried and overstepped again and again and again trying to do what he thought was good and righteous#waaa you could have been SO interesting#and yet here you are#giving us nothing and taking everything#being self-righteous the entire time#and winning your shitty little ego war having sacrificed everything and everyone on the way --much like ganondorf did#but only one of you get the flak for it somehow
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actually gonna take a mini break..... which could mean i won't go on tumblr at all or it just means i'll only be making simple posts and not reblogging, and it could be for the rest of the day or it could be for a number of days (this is significant i promise usually i would be yapping like CRAZY rn)
i don't like disliking my show. i don't need to hear about everything they did wrong when i want to be celebrating everything they've done right for 7 seasons. i can't expect everyone to decide that positivity is the only way and i can't expect people to not want to share their opinions when i can't seem to stop talking about my opinion on that. i don't want to do what i did when season 4 came out and i tried to forget tdp existed for months because i couldn't stand being a fan of something others didn't like. tdp is everything to me. i'm not letting this part of my life go because i care too much about what everyone else thinks. and i know that's nobody's fault but my own, but still. i'm hoping it dies down, but even if it doesn't, i just need to step back and remind myself why i love this show, and that that is all that matters.
i know it is NOT that deep but the finals week stress + mourning-in-advance + insane adrenaline rush and joy while watching followed by + immediate feeling of dread and incredible sadness and confusion and anger after i've already had a rough couple and months and tdp was the sole thing keeping me going, it has all just been a lot, as i'm sure you can imagine. it sounds so excessive and sensitive and it probably is those things, but it's how i feel. mainly i just really needed to get this off my chest lol
#sometimes i forget i'm autistic and then i'll be sent into a depressive episode because i can't stop crying about criticism over a cartoon#which i've built my entire life around#i'm a kid guys. an autistic child. hey maybe THAT'S why this season meant so much to me#continuethesaga#giveusthesaga#vent#personal#also like i've tried to explain i'm not blaming anyone else or asking anything of anyone for my issues but at the very least#i'd like it if we could keep the notes on my posts positive#and maybe specify when it's not entire clear if you're being positive bc my mental state cannot take the chance#yk it's whatever i don't want to be any more of a baby then i'm already being but i would appreciate that#and thanks to everyone who has made me feel better <3 always trust in the moots
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i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!
#don't get me wrong there are happy and beautiful times! there is wonder and fulfillment!!#but how do u share in the one if u can't share in the other?#i can't walk into work and say#'yesterday all i could think about was which of you would cry if i died#but today i saw a kid pick a flower and it felt like the most beautiful thing that had ever happened'#i don't even talk to my friends like that! it's all 'haha yeah been having a rough week. u know how it is. hbu?'#i feel like im going crazy but i dont believe that! aren't we all feeling this??? is anyone else feeling this??? is this fucking normal????#am i just emotionally closed off?? is everyone else having these conversations am i the stunted one who doesn't know how to talk about it??#i KNOW im living with mental illness but so are a lot of people! im sad sometimes but im not losing my mind! i know other people feel this!!
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Trespasser! 🫡
btw, pls don't hold the hair clipping against me 😅 this is her hairstyle, and I liked the outfit too much to change it because of the neck.
Also, warning, I ended up rambling at the end 😅
Lavellan when she spots Solas and the Viddasala
I don't know why but this one just seems so funny to me out of context 😂 like, "honey, you know that thing you told me not to do?"
Solas as Lavellan talks about how she discovered he's the Dread Wolf. I don't know how to describe this expression, sad, fond, proud? I think there would be a "Solas approves" here tho 🥲
"What is the old Dalish curse? “May the Dread Wolf take you”?"
"And so he did" (this is the other line that kills me)
They closed their eyes and lowered their heads at the same second during the "I would not have you see what I become". These two angsty mfs
(Though judging by how Solas' bags in DAV + that bit told in the GI article, she wasn’t exactly wrong to say "I cannot bear to think of you alone")
The Anchor flares up
"Solas, var lath vir suledin"
"I wish it could, vhenan."
the kiss 😢
It kills me how he brushes her hair back, and then holds her face. He also holds her hand with his other one.
They both just look so fking wrecked during this kiss.
And then he leaves 😞
now to wait for their next meeting in DAV 🥲
I still can't believe that, besides his visits to her dreams (which I think is probably a whole other post), this is the last time they meet. Pretty sure DAV is 8 years after this.
This was devastating. Both of them are wrecked, this is not what they want, but it's the path Solas has chosen to walk through. It hurts because falling in love with Lavellan is probably one of the few times in a while that Solas has done something just for himself, not for the cause, not for the people, but Solas
("The blame is mine, not yours. It was irresponsible and selfish of me") ("Because I made a selfish mistake. Because you deserve better"),
and he has to break it off. No matter how Lavellan and the other members of the Inquisition have helped him see people as, you know, people, this is a mission he has set for himself, something he believes he has to do, his duty.
(Also, I forgot to mention it during the Crestwood post, but it hurts when he stops saying vhenan and changes to Inquisitor)
So, Solas drags his feet, walking slowly, but still walks away from Lavellan and towards the eluvian. He walks away from the person who fell in love with him when he was just Solas, and walks towards the path where he is Fen'Harel, the god of rebellion who has tried to help his people, even if it doesn't turn out well.
He leaves behind a Lavellan whose heart is breaking for the 3rd time because of the same man, who has to deal with what happens with the Inquisition (mine disbanded with the angry option), and the loss of an arm. Also, you know, dealing with the fact that he is an elven god and wants to destroy the veil.
So, yeah...
Sorry that this got a bit very rambly 😅 I just finished the game a little over 2 weeks ago, and there are a lot of thoughts running around my head.
I'm looking forward to seeing what happens with Solas in DAV, and how the Inquisitor will be integrated into the game as well. (side note, I'm so curious about that, bc they haven't even mentioned if the Inky CC will have the same options as Rook) (I just want to know if there are prosthetics and if they can have body tattoos)
These are more general, just thought they were pretty
#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#solavellan#dai#dragon age trespasser#dai trespasser#trespasser spoilers#flycam#with my friend we wondered what would have happened if she'd started crying here lol#friend: “she could guilt trip me easily”#me: “same look at her sad eyes”#rip to Solas but we're different 😔✋ /j lol#man this was painful#my friend is replaying the games and apologised that their Inky will have a happy ending 😂#I was like it's fine I knew what I was getting into 🤣#at least I finished the game at a time when we knew DAV is coming out in Fall#I can't imagine having to go through 10 years of waiting and waiting#the ones that have are strong 🫡#oc: amarys lavellan
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Grant Turner and I commission by @lavendelleaf
#🎃 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍 🎃#Grant and I carved pumpkins to look like each other ~#I absolutely 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 how the pumpkin's designs turned out!! They really match the characters!!!#(੭ु ˃̶͈̀ ᗨ ˂̶͈́)੭ु⁾⁾ Grant's expression is SOOOOOOO 𝗦𝗜𝗟𝗟𝗬 AND 𝗖𝗨𝗧𝗘!! I couldn't stop giggling and laughing when I saw the sketch!!!#CRYING AND SCREAMINF#The commission turned out 𝗔𝗗𝗢𝗥𝗔𝗕𝗟𝗘!!! THEY LOOK SO 𝗦𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗧!!!#Lavendelleaf was 𝗚𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗧 to work with!! I can't recommend enough checking them out!!!#𝗙𝘂𝗻𝗳𝗮𝗰𝘁: When asked who would the characters dress as up for Halloween the creator said:#Grant wouldn't dress up for Halloween XD he's more of the type to be like I'm myself for Halloween and that should frighten you.#Which uhhh 𝗪𝗢𝗪 🥴 oh my god im going to be ill#i need him immediately#WHy do i find that extremely hot asfjkd;fklanv;. (/•/˛ /•//º)♡#I'm not positive whether Grant would enjoy carving pumpkins buttttttttt I think I could convince him to try it once☝#At least my knife is in the pumpkin and not being pointed at him LMAO ( ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ )Ↄ🔪🎃#Grant Turner#Unknown#Unknown Visual Novel#UnknownVisualNovel#Self Ship#F/O#Self Shipping#TakenForGranted#Self ship community#Yumeship
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Since I changed my mind and decided not to see friends on New Year's Eve. I'm planning to watch some Supernatural episodes like I did on New Year's Eve two years ago.
Which one should I watch?
#if you have suggestions don't hesitate to interact with this post#I want most of those to have cas in it#or at least being heavy with destiel content#it's hard to choose#like I could do one by arc I don't know but maybe it's too much#some I rewatched a lot already like Tombstone or Free To Be You And Me or Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets or The Man Who Would Be King#so I'd like new ideas maybe#I can't watch Despair though#this is too much for me#and I preferably wouldn't want to enter 2025 already crying#destiel#deancas#castiel#dean winchester#my personal experience
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John Seed is a comfort character for some people. Folks like to ship him with their deputies or craft redemption arcs for him.
There's nothing wrong with that, obviously.
But I just can't wrap my head around it.
There's nothing comforting about the way John Seed treated Joey Hudson. I don't understand why the ordeal she went through doesn't seem to matter to fans of his.
She was bait for the rookie deputy and nothing more, because she wasn't going to give in and join the cult.
He terrorized Joey and the rest of Fall's End, stooping to the lowest, most inhumane levels to get his way. Some even theorize that he hurt the "sinners" in his care just because he wanted to, for malicious, sadistic reasons that didn't have anything to do with the cult. At worst, some people go as far as to speculate that he raped Joey.
It's easy to see why someone might come to that conclusion. The way he acts is deplorable and he makes everything feel extremely personal, sometimes in ways that can be interpreted as sexually charged. He'll do anything in order to get his way because "no" is antithetical to him. He regularly flies off the handle, so much so that Joseph is threatening to cast him out. All the touching and getting right up in the player's face is so uncomfortable and obsessive (which is the point, but I digress).
So why does he get to be redeemed and venerated by fans? Don't his actions warrant consequences?
Are people willing to let him off the hook because he's attractive? Because he had a horrible, abusive childhood? Obviously he's got a lot more lore than most of the cast. Is that something people are interested in exploring for him over other characters?
I'm not trying to come after anyone personally. There's nothing wrong with liking villains and Jacob, Faith, and Joseph have also done terrible things to innocent people.
Which is like, fine. It's a video game.
And I know that John, like Joey, is a victim of Ubisoft's choppy, inconsistent writing and storytelling. Things got changed and swapped and cut during development that got us to where we are, with the story we have. Flaws and all, not like it was ever going to be perfect.
But in my opinion, I feel like the adoration for John does a huge disservice to Joey. People make thirsty edits of him while she's literally tied up behind him. It's tasteless and makes the optics of her situation look even creepier.
Her pain has largely been ignored for as long as the game has existed. I can't for the life of me figure out why.
#i'm gonna save my extra personal interpretations for the notes#genuinely I'm not trying to come after anyone#I just can't wrap my head around it#same goes for Jacob but I feel like he at least has the capacity for some change#cause he has doubts about the cult and stuff#the jury is out on Faith and how much autonomy she really has#though I believe it's more than some people think#and Joseph well... some medication is in order at least#but John had all that money and not a single cent went to a therapist so he could sort out his issues#John never got proper help and he has some very fucked up interpretations of the events that happened to him#he is so stuck in his ways and regularly acts extremely selfishly#in canon that's even considered to be part of why he dies#he's too stubborn and selfish to change#would rather everyone experience the pain that he felt than accept what happened to him#he absolutely had the means to better himself and never did#and Joey and all the other innocent people in his bunker were hurt no matter how you slice it#which if we're talking about John#I guess that's no pun intended#far cry 5#john seed#joey hudson#deputy hudson#fandom opinions#rape mention
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talvas running up neloth's water bill
#text#the romantic animations in s2 r insane i couldn't keep nelof from shoving his tongue down talvas' throat CHILL#it had me crying so hard . what's taking me out rn is nelof having white hairs cause u can't put colored hair on elders#and the fact that talvas is walking around in jeans#i'm trying my hardest to make talvas broke as shit i had to cheat to get him a computer so he could meet nelof thru chatting#that's jjsut great cause wow in one universe they'd definitely meet thru online chatrooms like for rea;l#talvas just would talk to older men in chatrooms he would .
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useless piece of information: malenia always follows up with a grab after she breaks your guard with a kick. it is possible to roll out the way as your stamina regens fast enough on it's own, but i still thought it was pretty cool that she can do this
#two years later and im still learning new things with this fight#the unalloyed malenia mod has this instant grab that you can't recover from#imagine if she could do that in the base game#personally i would love it but i can already see people crying and screaming about it#anyway still waiting for the mod that replaces her grab animation with her locking me in a full nelson instead#also this is a +0 shield and i have 10 stamina#you can actually block quite a lot of her basic attacks like this which i didn't realise#obviously not really a viable option as she heals but still#elden ring#my videos
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Hey, Star Trek Writers... -taps the glass-
#star trek#the only people from Voyager's main cast I could see wanting to be a captain are Chakotay ??? maybe? and DEFINITELY Harry Kim#Harry Kim is the only guy on that ship who I'd actually cheer and scream and cry and click my heels if he became captain#bc it's actually something I think he'd be suited for AND it fits with his personality/goals...<3#like I saw a clip from Picard and like...Seven of NINE??? Why would she want to be a captain?? I think in that case 'making captain' is jus#shorthand for 'we finally accept you into structured society and you're no longer an outcast' which I do NOT like#also Tuvok's a captain???? Why???? Nothing about Tuvok screams captain material or that he'd even WANT to be a captain#I imagine him being chief of security or a professor (or both) until retiring - MAYBE a first officer#OH same with Janeway only she would HATE being an admiral and loves being captain#like next they're gonna tell me that B'Elanna Torres is a starfleet captain* - NO ! she is an ENGINEER!#Sorry I can't get over how bad Tuvok would be as a captain - he's not suited for it and does NOT seem interested#*so that we can all go 'oh yay I accept this as shorthand for the federation accepts her' - HEY#if the only thing you can think of to show that a character has achieved true happiness & respect & peace is becoming a 'respectable' rank#in the future pseudo not-military: maybe think about that more deeply
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