#can't beat that

[stewy]

baby was so real for this

[collected-sports-bra]

I love you Schlutzkrapfen and I love you Kärtner Kasnocken!

I love you dumplings I love you gyoza I love you xiaolongbao I love you wonton I love you baozi I love you mandu and yes even you, ravioli

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

Hate hate hate how when I get angry there is a physical reaction but it's not glowing eyes or growing claws or something it's crying. This feels unfair.

[hinamie]

oversaturate

[hypewinter]

Ok ok ok so hear me out. I've seen a lot of stories and prompts where the Joker is scared of Danny. But honestly? Big scary ghost? Whatever, doesn't phase him. He's seen scarier. He's done scarier. Try again.

But you know what has been actually proven to scare the Joker? The IRS. So imagine this man's utter horror when one day an IRS agent just appears in his hideout and lets him know that he still owes them money. The agent gives him a deadline to pay his remaining taxes then leaves.

Joker immediately starts scrambling. He needs to come up with this money fast. No way he's making an enemy out of the IRS. But before that, Johnny? Find my accountant and give him the most painfully funny death you can think of.

For the next few days, Joker is running around, trying to collect the remaining money that he owes but he still doesn't have enough. As the IRS agent so helpfully reminds him every time he shows up.

On the day of the deadline Joker is still just short of what he owes so he pulls out his trump card. Begging.

That's how Batman finds one deranged clown killer on his hands and knees begging for a loan or at the very least some protection and he is utterly confused. It's at that moment when a young man appears out of nowhere.

"I'm sorry. It looks like you still haven't paid all of your taxes," he says in a frighteningly cheerful voice before he grabs the Joker by his collar and drags him into the shadows.

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Fiddauthor divorce arc speedrun <3

After 30 years of searching for his lost brother through demonic rituals and summonings, Ford has become a bit of a notorious demon collector over the years. He's made a LOT of deals with MANY different demons over the years; from minor and harmless little entities to big and powerful overlords. Most of the time, these deals aren't really a one-way situation, so a lot of demons have a strong grip on him just as much as he does on them. It often ends up being a mutual sort of destruction, as in: "I know I'm but a mere mortal trifling with things I couldn't begin to fathom, and I know you will destroy me eventually; but I don't care as long as I get to destroy you too." He just needs to live long enough to find his brother.

The red hands are essentially pieces of himself (his soul, you could say??) that he wields as his method of restraint to the demons he has "tamed" so far. They act as a leash to contain each demons' powers, and he can loosen or tighten his hold on them as much as he wants. The number of hands required to contain a demon really depends on their individual strengths, but 3-4 hands are already very energy consuming.

YES, I gave all of his demons stupid names. SUE ME.

[project-catgirlpillar]

Zoro is either a coward or uncreative btw. Any orifice that can be fucked can also be used to hold a sword and i have Seen porn of way more than Just the hands and mouth

[stump-not-found]

mabel pines #1 hater

[tearlessrain]

kind of wild how much fiction still treats torture as something that objectively works when every study has shown that it does not work at all and is possibly the least effective way to get correct information

[egophiliac]

bring your son to work day

[ladysiryna]

The Nightsong is no more.

[moistvonlipwig]

one of the reasons i have more patience & affection for spuffy than for other m/f enemies-to-lovers ships in a similar mold is that buffy is under no illusion that she can fix that man. in fact she believes he is ontologically incapable of being fixed. he'll be like Buffy i can change and she'll be like You are literally not capable of doing that. then he actually does change and she's like. Wait you can do that??? Not sure how i feel about that to be honest

[whosoldherout]

trying to ring his dad while sitting on the table criss cross applesauce

[sunderwight]

What if the plant body hadn't worked out, and the Holy Mausoleum solution had actually taken a long time to sort of "fix" Shen Qingqiu's body and fully call his soul back to it, so that hundreds of years passed and civilization in PIDW/SV world progressed to the point of something like the "modern era"?

Imagine Luo Binghe trying to delicately introduce his shizun to such strange concepts as smart phones and credit cards, while Shen Qingqiu is just desperately trying to figure out how dumb he should play this. Would it be believable for him to get everything on the first try? There have to be some differences between what he knows and this world's versions, right, because of the demons and cultivators and things? Right?? But it's not like any of this actually IS difficult for him to grasp!

Luo Binghe: Shizun already discerned how to type using a keyboard...?

Shen Qingqiu, sweating bullets: what, like it's hard?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)

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[kensatou]

have some couth babygirl