#can't be fucked to make a full order. because doing so would just mean spending money on something that's just going to sit

[princehendir]

Instantly instinctually doing Sherlock Holmes style deductions whenever I see restaurant equipment

[stolitzsings]

It's just SO fucking good and so fucking gutwrenching how much sense both of their mistakes make for them

And how backed into a corner both of them felt

It's completely understandable that Blitz would feel blindsided by Stolas’s confession- from his perspective it's coming out of nowhere

But this is something Stolas has been wrestling with for months now, and it's slowly killing him. He starts off his day with an anxiety vomit bc of how stressed he is about this conversation, and he also thinks this might be his one and only chance to tell Blitz how he feels. He's giving Blitz the crystal, no strings attached, so for all he knows he might not ever see Blitz again after tonight. He needs to lay it all out there if he wants Blitz to understand

Also Stolas has been trying to show Blitz he cares for so long: inviting him to hang out for things, suggesting movies and comfort after the turmoil of Ozzie's, letting Blitz take the lead on whether to see him for the full moon each month, plus everything Blitz mentioned to Fizz! Liking his pictures and asking him how he is and all those things that Blitz dismissed because he simply couldn't fathom that Stolas would actually be interested in him. Stolas has been giving him space and checking in on how he's feeling and offering to talk about things, presumably for months now, all in a bid to show Blitz they could have more than a transactional relationship.

And he'd been hyping himself up to have this conversation, telling himself it could go great! Maybe Blitz would be just as happy as he was! Maybe he felt the same and this would all work out!

But even though Blitz does care about him, he's fucking terrified to show or even acknowledge it, because feelings mean getting hurt. And he's been shutting himself off from the possibility of Stolas having those feelings for months as well. He can't allow himself to hope for anything more, and anyway it would just complicate things, so best to stick to nice, safe sex stuff like he's sure Stolas wants to anyway.

So he completely misses all the times Stolas is trying to give them a way forward, and as a result he just can't believe Stolas’s confession could be real. And then he REALLY fucks up. This has to be a sex thing, right? The one thing he's convinced himself Stolas wants, especially tonight? He's thinking "there's no way anyone could love me like this," but all Stolas hears is "there's no way YOU could love me like this."

Because while Blitz has been shutting out any hope that Stolas could love him, Stolas has been CLINGING to scraps of hope that Blitz might love him, in order to give himself the strength to have the conversation they're having now. I don't think he understands why Blitz wouldn't leap at the chance to believe him.

To Stolas, this is confirmation that Blitz still sees their relationship as the same as it was after Ozzie's, when he said their relationship was just sex and Stolas SAW how unhappy he was. Clearly, Blitz still feels this whole thing is about Stolas wanting Blitz to fuck him, and it's not fair to keep him trapped in that dynamic. He thinks the conversation is over, he has his answer because Blitz wasn't happy then so he clearly isn't happy now.

Stolas spends the rest of the scene trying to bow out gracefully. He thanks Blitz for changing his life and tries to escape before he really breaks down. Remember, he's going through an acrimonious and, to be frank, VIOLENT divorce right now, with the person that he's terrified of becoming in his relationship with Blitz. He would do anything to get out of his shitty relationship quietly, so clearly the kindest thing he could do is let Blitz go without making a fuss.

But Blitz is only just realizing that he read the situation so wrong. When he chases after Stolas, Stolas might see it as just another person following him around his house to yell at him. For Blitz, though, he's scared, he's angry at Stolas for springing this on him, and he feels like Stolas is trying to discard him because of one dumb thing he just did. Stolas doesn't know how many times Blitz has been dropped before because of one fuckup. He doesn't get how close he's gotten to Blitz's past trauma. Meanwhile Blitz is trying to get Stolas to give him a second to figure shit out, to just stick with him and not expect him to have all the answers right away.

And when Stolas doesn't give him that, because he's convinced that Blitz is still unhappy and is now just trying to make this hurt as little as he can, Blitz retreats back into anger. Finally Stolas is discarding him just like he always knew he would eventually. Their relationship has been such a rollercoaster for both of them and he just needs a little time, dammit! So now this feels like just another case of someone throwing him away for not living up to their expectations.

Stolas can't hear him asking for time, though. All he sees is Blitz following him to curse him out, to yell about how shitty he is, just like Stella has always done. And Blitz is right!!! Stolas was so crushed by the initial rejection that he didn't give Blitz the space he needed to process things. Blitz wants to talk and yell and fight through things and get all the shit out there. But Stolas is so focused on holding himself together for just a little longer.

Stolas's biggest fear was that he'd trapped Blitz in their arrangement, and the way Blitz tries to ask for time and engagement unfortunately hits directly on that. Blitz is yelling that Stolas doesn't get to just dismiss him, he deserves a chance to be heard and to figure shit out, and to have an actual conversation about this. But Stolas fixates on Blitz’s accusation that he's treating him like a servant, and assumes that he's referring to their entire relationship. It confirms, in his mind, that Blitz was never with him willingly and would never want to be with him willingly.

And it must hurt so much to hear Blitz call him a "pompous, rich asshole" in that moment, when he has been trying so hard to be selfless about this. He made himself so vulnerable with this confession and the gift of the crystal. He put everything he had out in the open. But if Blitz thinks he's an asshole, well, there's no way he could share his feelings, right? He's being vulnerable, and probably expected Blitz to do the same and lay his true feelings out there as well. And Blitz really is trying, but he's still using anger and insults because they're familiar and safe. PLUS there's the added panic of "Oh fuck, how badly did I hurt him that he thinks of me like this?"

Stolas doesn't know how many times Blitz has been abandoned for fucking something up, and Blitz doesn't know how many times Stolas has had to shut down and endure tirades of abuse he couldn't escape from. Stolas thinks he's done all of this and Blitz still can't see him as anything but a stuck-up, frigid jerk. And if this desperate, grand gesture wasn't enough to get Blitz to see how much he cares, well, what hope is there?

He's still reeling from what he perceived as Blitz’s mockery of the very idea that Stolas could care for him. He tried to leave peacefully but Blitz won't let him bow out, still wants to yell at him and tell him how shitty he is, won't even give him the dignity of breaking down in private. Never mind that those weren't Blitz’s intentions at all. Stolas was so scared, so tentative about this, that Blitz’s almost inevitable incredulous/messy reaction was bound to hurt.

Both of them are working off their own assumptions, their low opinions of themselves, and their past traumas, and can't see enough of each other's histories to understand that's what they're doing.

[bau-drabbles]

HI! I was wondering if you do like a concept where reader and Spencer have relationship problems because he's in love with JJ? But if not that's okay. I hope you're well ❤ I love your works!

aw of course nonnie! thank you for reading and the love 🥹🤍 this is rushed since its like an idea but i hope you like it :)

•••

do you like how i look? or just how i look on you?

you watch him carefully through your lashes, the pen threatening to break under your grasp. the way he had felt so ease, the way he could engage in a conversation with her, all of it so very easily angered you.

"don't you agree y/n?" jj smiles, her gaze shifting towards you.

"hm?" you replied, completely lost in thought and she gestures to his hair. her slender fingers run through his messy locks and he sits there, giving her a soft chuckle. it makes you want to knock his lights out truthfully.

"he looks better in long hair, doesn't he?" she giggles and you raise an eyebrow, looking at them both. even you would've mistaken them for a couple despite actually being in a relationship with him.

"i wouldn't know. i don't spend enough time with him to see how his hair looks" your passive aggressive tone doesn't go unnoticed by spencer and immediately his eyes dart to yours. he gives you that specific look that you're treading in dangerous waters but there's not a cell in your body that cares anymore.

jj awkwardly looks between you and spencer, him staring you down but you refusing to back off so you hold his eye contact. she coughs and it snaps you both out of it and towards her once more.

"i have to go, i gotta file these and give them to hotch. but i'll see you later?" she gives you both one last final smile and she goes, leaving the two of you alone

"what was that?" he asked irritably, his tone offended as if you'd genuinely caused him some pain

"honesty. i haven't seen you in so long but you wouldn't know that since you're so absorbed with jj" you know you shouldn't start the fight right now, a case could come at any moment and you'd be called in seconds but you can't help yourself. he was so incredibly selfish, couldn't he see how he was treating you?? couldn't he see how much you cared??

"i have no idea what you mean" he replied flatly, standing up to his full height and turning his back on you. you scoffed, turning around in your chair. you were already hanging on by a thread and his attitude would be your undoing.

"oh, you don't?? i've never seen your eyes shine more than when you're with her, like she's gathered all the stars and placed them there. you look at her..... like she's the most perfect thing you've ever seen" your voice trembels at the end of your sentence, you could only wish he gazed at you with half the adoration he held for her

"is there a point to your accusations? or can we move on to more pressing matters?" spencer furrows his eyebrows, turning his back on you. you don't know which is more aggravating, the fact that he brushes you off so easily or that he continued to defend jj even after everything.

"you know at first i didn't like jj, i really wanted to know what made her so special that you couldn't take your eyes from her for two fucking seconds but..." you pause, remembering all he times you had felt so insignificant to him. so inferior to jj, even though she didn't know.

"you adore everything about her, or rather, you love her. from how she talks to how she is. you notice everything about her. coffee orders, food preferences, hell even her moods, sometimes i wonder why you just didn't date her instead" your tone is biting, daring him to object. you hope he does, you hope he can finally see his wrong doings. you hope he can see how unfairly he had been treating you.

but fiction is far different than reality, sometimes things didn't go the way you so desperately hoped they did.

you know why he didn't date jj, she was already married. so he settled for the next option, pining and yearning for her in the dark while he had you as a front so everyone could see he had moved on too. you thought deep down he would learn to love you as you did him but after 2 years, it was never going to change.

"do you love her?" the question left your lips so quickly you didn't even register you had said it until he looked back. the pain settled in your heart, anxiously waiting for his answer. even though you knew deep down what it was.

"y/n plea-" he rolls his eyes but you stand up, walking toward him

"do you love her or not? it's a one word answer reid" the use of his last name instead of his first insinuates you're serious this time.

"i..." he breaks off, trying to find some way to make sense of it. in the midst of it all, you catch a glimpse of his true feelings before he composes himself once more.

but even for him that was a second too long

and when you see it there's shock on your face. confirmation and resignation plastered on his when he learns what he had done.

a small voice in you berates you for not seeing the signs at the start, they were so painfully obvious how could you have ever missed it. but people never do when they're in love.

"guys! c'mon, hotch is waiting" garcia knocks, looking at you both expectantly but you can't seem to rip your gaze from the man opposite you

i loved you, i loved you, i love-

"yeah..." you don't want to cause a scene, bringing yourself back to the crushing weight of reality. hitting you like a ton of bricks, tormenting you over and over.

"y/n..." spencer calls out, his hand reaching to yours to stop you but you snatch it away. like his touch is poisoned and you'd fall deeper into the darkness that so eagerly awaits your presence.

"y/n?" penelope asked, the smile she usually donned was slowly dropping from looking at the pair of you back and forth. looking to reid for some answers but he could only look at you and you could only look at the floor, wondering why you weren't good enough.

"let's go" your voice is a strained whisper, needing to throw yourself into something so you didn't need to think of him.

you realised that heartbreak is quite similar to the movies you used to make fun of. the second its over, all you can remember is the moments that made you fall in love. blazing through your mind, a rom com montage made of the sweetest poison.

[artemisdesari-blog]

The trouble with writing a long AU is sometimes it sparks ideas for others based off narrative choices. In this case; what would have happened if the deal between Dooku and Fett in Careless To Let It Fall had been allowed to happen.

After killing Komari, Fett encounters Dooku who offers him the job of being the progenitor and trainer of an army of clones. So good, so canon. In Careless this is expanded on as a deal where two hundred thousand men are grown and trained purely for the purpose of overthrowing the Republic Senate who are responsible for, among many things, supporting the New Mandalorian's take over of Mandalore (leading to something of a cultural genocide) and the mission to Galidraan where Dooku was given all the wrong information as part of a Death Watch trap, but Jango shot first. Obviously there are more issues than that, and Jango is in full on revenge and not thinking clearly mode, but that's the base of it. As Jango’s payment for helping the Jedi effectively overthrow the Senate (cesspool of corruption that it is) Jango will be given fifty thousand of those men to use to wipe out any Death Watch in hiding and take back Mandalore. Obviously, neither Dooku nor Jango mean to keep their end of the deal. Dooku knows Palpatine has bigger plans and will work on Jango as much as possible to make a larger army and Jango intends to just abscond with every clone when the time comes and wipe out any Jedi who come for them.

This where Careless and whatever this AU is would diverge. In Careless Qui-Gon Jinn lives, Obi-Wan goes off to do his own thing, and Fett gets aggressively mind wiped and controlled by Dooku and Sidious so that he truly becomes the major asshole we all love. There's other stuff, but that hasn't been revealed yet even though I'm at chapter 100.

In this universe, Qui-Gon would die and the Trade Federation, humiliated by how Sidious used them, would find a way to off the Chancellor of the Republic as a final fuck you. Maybe Palpatine’s death is just an accident. Either way, Sidious is out of the picture but the clones are already in production and the Senate is still a total cesspool of corruption and arrogance and greed. Without Sidious to help facilitate the plan of playing one side of a conflict against the other, Dooku has to rethink and do it fast. He rejoins the order (or stays, some agree he left before Qui-Gon died and just stopped by to visit, others think it was what caused him to leave and I am too tired and lazy to check which is correct), forms a relationship with Obi-Wan even though he doesn’t bring him into the plan because he can tell Obi doesn't have time due to Anakin’s everything, because I am trash for Grandpa Dooku stuff, and begins to quietly convince younger and more idealistic Jedi that the Senate needs an overhaul, usually approaching them after missions gone wrong, while periodically checking in on Jango and the clones.

All on Kamino appears to be going according to the revised plan, except its actually going according to Jango’s plan. Jango pulls in the trainers and spends a couple of years weeding out the ones he can't actually trust as much as he hoped while quietly adopting a few dozen clones, including many fan faves. Other trainers adopt other clones, those clones adopt brothers, they basically become a group of clans with Jango as their Mand'alor. Dooku’s Jedi come for their one hundred and fifty thousand soldiers who will help them overturn the Senate and the clones turn on the Jedi, capture them, and head off to Mandalore to take what Jango has promised them with Fett as their leader and Cody as his right hand. Predictably, Obi-Wan is sent to Mandalore to deal with the fall out while the rest of the Jedi Council try to work out what the actual fuck happened and how Dooku managed it.

In all likelihood this would result in the Jedi leaving the Republic because the fact that Dooku managed to draw a good number of them into the mess would catch attention and make things very difficult. We would probably end up with some Codywan (because this is me) but that would probably only be implied at the end rather than the focus.

But, yes, the danger of long form AUs and the ideas that narrative choices spark. Another one for the maybe some day pile.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, 3x9, A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving, Part 7-The Homoerotic Finale

Well, you're in luck Jess, a 6'4 walking trash can is about to make an appearance. Jess: Why should I run all over town to dump this? Luke: Put it in Taylor's bins. We get rid of the trash, It'll drive Taylor crazy, it's a win win. LOL, I love the low-low-low level pettiness.

Did I not just say in my last thingy that Lorelai and Rory would try to force their way into the diner if he attempted to close the restaurant on a holiday? (I did) At least Luke isn't making Jess serve the Gilmores a second time (without getting tipped I'm sure), he must thrilled to be on trash duty.

Wait for it... wait for it...

Can someone put a bell on her collar and implant this broad with a microchip or something, because she seems to have a habit of running off. This is her third Kiss and Run and second in a short period of time (and not her last). It's either Kiss and Run to Mommy or Kiss and Run to Dean. I love how Whatever he was about it. Immediately goes back to stuffing his trash.

AHHHH!! I know it's fun to clown on Dean but that's terrifying. Jess should be wetting his pants. (and Luke would be proud if Taylor found a piss puddle in front of his store. It's a win win).

He's so UNFLAPPABLE. My unflappable blorbo. Nothing flaps him. Starving on Thanksgiving in order to placate the Gilmores then having to get up seconds after sitting down to eat to serve them coffee without getting tipped, being DingDong Ditched (Rory=The DingDong), being threatened by a human pine tree in a smelly coat, braving the late November temperatures with no coat. After all of that? Still not flapped.

He's walking away because you stink like failure and Eau De Your Dad Should Have Pulled Out. Go home, Dean. I's Thanksgiving. The fuck are you doing wandering around town late night for no reason, you tumor. Haha! Joke's on him though. No one at his home misses him. Dean is clutching a Doose's apron on his hand. So like, get this. We saw Dean working in the morning or early afternoon. Sunset is quite early in late November on the east coast, as early as 4:30 pm. It was already fully dark at FND, and after spending a considerable amount of time there, the Ding Dongs stopped at Sookie's again, AND Luke is closing the diner for the night. Even if he was closing "early" for the holiday, I'm going to presume its at least 7pm. So either Taylor made his part time bag boy work a full time shift from morning to night on Thanksgiving Day (there aren't enough people living in The Hollow to keep Doose's that consistently busy on a national holiday?) or Dean clocked out in the afternoon and sat outside the store for hours past sunset waiting for Jess to walk outside.

You expect Dean to have heard of West Side Story. Culturally, he's still working his way through Barney and Friends.

Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more.

Joke's on you Jess, his family forgot he existed and locked him out and now he can't get back in and has to sleep on the street

Huhhhh? The full quote is "One of your boy scout references or a good farmer john joke! You want me to put my apron on and give you a little inspiration?" And again I repeat, HUHHH?? Did he stop by Sookie's place and get into the tequila or something? SAY SOMETHING THAT MAKES SENSE PLEASE. But also, whatever role playing you two do together in private is frankly none of my business.

Again...none of my business.

Eggsactly.

*swan song*COUGH*cough*KegMax*cough*cough*help i cant stop coughing*

Terrifying until you think about how Dean wants to tussle in front of a place called Nancy's Cottage.

That's not the flex you think it is.

Your insult is..calling him "The Glad Man" (Glad trash bags) because he is taking out the trash from his job? You mean Taylor doesn't also make you take out the trash at your part time minimum wage super market job? Is that not usually one of the primary duties of an employee at a small grocery store? You think Taylor is taking out his own garbage? Right now he's lounging on a raft in Maui sipping a mai tai, paid for with the proceeds from the last town fundraiser. What's my favorite nonsensical Dean insult? Is it Glad Man, or is it the one-two punch from "Rory's Dance" where Dean says to Tristan: "Are you trying to act tough, you're wearing a tie!" and "I’m not fighting you, it would be like fighting an accountant! I’ll call you when I need my taxes done!” He also said "I'll kill you" to Tristan in that scene, so you never know what you're going to get with Dean!

"Hey, Fellow Teenage Boy Who Is Also A Recent Transplant From Another State! Even though you actually have a blood relative native to this town and I don’t, this is MY turf! I control the turf between Nancy's Cottage and that store that sells porcelain unicorns! You got that?”

Lorelai to Rory two minutes later, probably: Dean was the perfect first boyfriend! No red flags at all! (psych! I don't have to imagine Lorelai saying that! She already said it at the beginining of the episode!)

[creedslove]

100% Marcus love when you sit on his face 😊

Lazy morning sunday with cock warming

Cuddling with you after work

He loves mirror sex, just so he can watch you two, and then the eye contact is making him loose his mind

Marcus love seeing you with little babies, he immediately is thinking how good you would look like all round with his babies, all because of him.

Can be a little possessive. You are his. He has a plan for the two of you.

Want spend time with you. If you don't have it, he is calling or texting. He fell for you hard!

Can be a little needy.

Helpless romantic.

Can't cook, but he is trying.

Marcus Pike x f!reader

A/N: bestie, I decided to write headcanons on your headcanons because omfg marcus pike amrite

100% Marcus love when you sit on his face 😊

• he worships your body and he makes sure you see, know and feel it! Even if he doesn't do it with words, he very often does it with his mouth, and face sitting is a whole new level of worshipping; you are literally there, sitting on him, letting him savory you and give you all the pleasure he yearns to give you

• he low-key thinks that if he pleasures you a lot, it will make it harder for you to leave him; you can't blame our sweet FBI boyfriend, after all, he'd had his heart broken more than once and is kinda scared it will happen again

Lazy morning sunday with cock warming

• he wakes you up by kissing you, that man is a kisser™ and he starts by kissing your neck, your shoulders, your collarbone... Anything. During the week he's the first one to wake up, shower and get breakfast ready, but on the weekend? He's just about his lazy love Sundays with you

• of course it doesn't take you very long to get wet, I mean, it's Marcus Pike after all, right and as soon as you are ready and slippery, he gets inside of you, earning a delicious little soft moan from you

• he grunts at how tight you are but he just stays there, loving the warmth of your body against his, big arms wrapped around your frame and loving to smell you

Cuddling with you after work

• he is a cuddler™ and he is able to tell when you had a hard day at work or when you're just simply exhausted, because he often has these at work too and he knows how much he misses your touch during the day

• he often tells you just to order something so you don't have to tire yourself out by cooking or he just makes you two a sandwich and then he's back at cuddling

• you spend some relaxing time on the couch, he likes watching movies, classic movies because your lovely Marcus is a well educated man and also passionate about art, if you're in the mood to watch it with him, you'll just let him wrap himself around your body and clarify a doubt or two you might have about the story. If you aren't in the mood he will quietly hold you tight his eyes glued to the TV while his head rests on your shoulder and he lets you do whatever you want

• he also gives the best cuddles in bed, it doesn't matter if they are pre or post sex, they are always so soothing and warm, capable of making you forget about all the bad things in life

• and I know it's not really related to it but don't forget that Marcus smells so good 🤌

He loves mirror sex, just so he can watch you two, and then the eye contact is making him loose his mind

• he loves mirror sex, there's some so erotic and beautiful about it, it's poetic and pornographic to him at the same time and he loves it; it's perfect from when he's pounding from behind and he doesn't want to miss your beautiful, full of pleasure expressions and how your body looks so good against his

• he loves to stay at hotels where there are mirrors, if you don't have a big one he can display in front of the bed, he will at least fuck you in the bathroom in front of it

Marcus love seeing you with little babies, he immediately is thinking how good you would look like all round with his babies, all because of him.

• Marcus loves seeing you with babies and little kids, in fact he is very good with kids himself, always being the life of the party to his nieces and nephews or to your little cousins, he is just so good with them

• they trust him easily and when they aren't old enough to understand how cool his FBI job is, they just like the fact he is nice and patient with them

• this man is also the Halloween king, he decorates the house in an awesome way and he definitely hands out the best candies and he def flashes his fbi badge around when he spots older kids trying to bully the smaller ones into giving them their candy

• but he melts when he sees you with kids, no matter if you are as good as he is with them or if you're better or if you consider yourself a disaster with kids. It just brings such pride and butterflies to his stomach to imagine one day it will be the three of you, instead of only the two of you together, perhaps the family will be even bigger, but you gotta start somehow

• he already knows how he wants to name his baby Pike

Can be a little possessive. You are his. He has a plan for the two of you.

• he is possessive, not in a creepy or uncomfortable way, but you are his and there's no argument about that, no matter how much you reassure him, he still worries you will leave him like everyone else, and for that, he has the need to touch you constantly: hands on your hips, on your back, on your arms when you are standing and hands on your knees/thighs when you are sitting down. He really likes when you sit on his lap too, though this is reserved mostly for when you two are home alone

Want spend time with you. If you don't have it, he is calling or texting. He fell for you hard!

• he likes spending time with you no matter what; the two of you have a busy job, sometimes you have good days at work and sometimes you have awful days and he always makes sure to remind you he's there for you

• it's okay if you are busy, he'll send you a text just to check on you or a quick phone call, he might even have something delivered to your home, like some flowers or some takeout

• but he also knows how to give him space when you need to be on your own too

Can be a little needy.

• yes, as we've already discussed, he lets his anxiety get the best of him sometimes and allows the fear he has of being brokenhearted and left once more appear, which causes him to crave more reassurance, even if he doesn't say so, you know that's what he feels 💔

Helpless romantic.

• he is a helpless romantic, he lives for romance and he is just over the moon he finally met someone worthy of sharing this overwhelming love he carries in his heart

• he isn't shy to tell you he loves you, nor to show you with kisses and other gestures; he brings you small thoughtful gifts very often and he never misses an anniversary, birthday or valentine's day

• he kisses you under the mistletoe and when the clock strikes midnight on New Year's

Can't cook, but he is trying.

• he is trying and you appreciate him a lot for that; he is able to make some pretty good breakfast though and it's enough for you, loving how he actually lets you sleep some more and waits for you to wake up with a cup of coffee and pancakes, it means a lot to you

• he prefers to take you out to eat or just order from your favorite places, but he trusts you when you tell him you are going to cook together, which consists mostly of you doing the cooking while he's nibbling at the ingredients here and there or just chopping up the vegetables

• but he will do the dishes for you because he's a gentleman :')

____

[yellowkitkieran]

Home (Kieran Tierney)

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: Kieran surprises you by coming home early from his loan spell in Spain.

“When do you come home?”

Kieran smiles because you're both aware you've had the answer to that question memorized for months. But he indulges you anyway, “Friday. So only a few more days my love, and then I'll be home with you again.”

You sigh and begin typing your next email. You've become adept at multitasking while on the phone with Kieran; he'd be in the gym, airpods in while you chatted, and you would be settled in at the desk in Kieran's guest room working away on your laptop. Stolen moments like these have become the norm since Kieran went on loan in Spain. To make the most of a bad situation, you both came to the silent agreement that you would spend as much time on the phone together as possible. As a result, you now often find it hard to concentrate without Kieran on the other line. 

“Right, Friday. In the afternoon right? I'm gonna try and get the house cleaned up before then, I don't need you seeing how messy I keep it when you're away!” 

Kieran’s quiet laugh sends a slight shiver down your spine. “We both know it's not that bad. I'm sure you keep it plenty tidy. Don't worry about keeping it spotless, cause I'm just gonna mess it up as soon as I'm home.”

“Still. When you get here, I just want to focus on you. You kept Saturday open for sure yeah?” 

“Mmhhm. Everyone else thinks I'm coming home on Sunday, so I'm all yours.” 

You smile to yourself, sitting back in your chair. You have a full day planned for the two of you that mostly involves making up for lost time. Assuming your Friday night will be spent wrapped up in each other completely, you've mentally blocked off a few hours on Saturday morning to recover and wind down. After that, you'll help Kieran unpack his suitcases, do whatever washing needs done, and finally end off the day with dinner at his favorite place in Central London. 

“Good! It'll be… fun… oh fucks sake…” you trail off as you read the email that's just arrived in your inbox. “Seriously- why! Can people not read?!”

“What's wrong babe? Someone mess up the catering order again?” You can almost hear Kieran's smile through the phone. “You'll fix it in time, you always do.”

“Yeah of course I will,” you grumble, now zeroed in on pulling up receipts and time stamps to triple check the order you placed versus the order that you were quoted for. “Just means more work for me is all. And just when I thought I was done for the day!”

“Shame that, I was hoping to get some time with you today.” You swear Kieran's voice is echoing. “You sure you can't put that off until the morning?”

“No, I can't, I have to do it now. Ugh, this wouldn't happen if people paid more attention!” 

“I think you should close your laptop.” 

Frustrated, you rub your temples and close your eyes. “Babe I can't. This is for tomorrow's lunch so-” 

“So that means that you'll have time if you wake up early to get it fixed up. I think you should come downstairs.” 

Okay, either you're hearing things or there really is an echo. You frown, setting your phone aside and listening closely for any sounds in the house, but you only hear Shadow, Kieran's dog, pacing downstairs on the wood floors. 

“Did you send another delivery or something babe? Because Shadow always gets anxious when people come up to the door, I wish you'd give me a heads up.” Unfurling to your feet with a heavy sigh, you pad downstairs with your phone tucked between your ear and your shoulder. “One of these days you're gonna give that poor dog a heart attack-”

“Hi baby,” Kieran says, tucking his phone in his pocket. Shadow sits at your boyfriend's side, his tail thumping merrily whilst you stand perfectly still. Your brain goes into overdrive, mentally counting days and confirming that today was not Friday, and therefore Kieran should not be home yet… but here he stands before you, flesh and blood and just as handsome as the last time you saw him.

A delighted, high pitch squeal bubbles out of your chest. Kieran laughs and opens his arms, which you promptly take as an invitation to leap into them and latch onto him like a koala. “Oh my god, oh my god! You're home already?!” 

“I am,” Kieran murmurs into your hair after kissing the top of your head. “I packed up early and decided I couldn't wait another second before I saw you.” The urge to squeeze Kieran until he wheezes is nearly overwhelming. Instead of acting on impulse and earning yourself a lecture, you pry your face out of Kieran's neck- his aftershave tickles your nose- and pepper kisses across his face. 

“I- missed- you- so- much- you- pretty- boy-” Kieran's cheeks become hotter with each peck you press to his skin. Shadow barks to indicate he's keen to join in on the action. Soon Kieran is supporting your weight with a hand under your bum and scratching behind Shadow's ears when the big pup jumps on his hip to demand his attention, too. Kieran is happy to balance you both, eventually crouching down to sit on the floor with you still wrapped around him.

Once Shadow calms down and rests his big head on Kieran’s knee, the room quiets. Kieran draws shapes on the small of your back, letting you gaze upon him for as long as you desire. He is content with your fingertips brushing over his cheekbones, along his stubbled jaw and down the side of his neck. You smile at his contented sigh, the breathy sound distracting you from your reverence. 

“You're actually tan. Took you long enough to stop burning like a tomato.” Your eyes flick to Kieran's smile and you do not stop yourself from stealing a kiss. You'll never take those lips for granted, not after being forced to cope without them for so long. 

Kieran rolls up the sleeve of his white tshirt to show you his tan line. Halfway up his bicep, his golden, tanned skin gives way to his natural pale shade. You trace the line with a finger as Kieran defends himself, “Spanish sun cannae fully fix Scottish skin, my love. But I know you like when I'm not so pale, so I figured I'd soak up as much as I could before I came home.” 

Muscles flex under your finger when Kieran wraps his arms around your middle once more. You lay your palm flat to soak up his warmth and smile to yourself.

“I love you just as much when you're ghostly white. Doesn't matter to me. But the sun makes your little bitty freckles come out, so I do enjoy those.” 

Kieran's nose scrunches up when you lean forward to kiss it. You could sit like this until the end of days and be perfectly happy. With Kieran sat beneath you, soft, idle touches and whispered words would be more than enough to pass the time.

At some point Kieran coaxes both you and Shadow to your feet and leads you to the sofa. A happy sigh falls from his lips when you tumble into him and hook one leg over his hips. Shadow curls up in his normal spot at Kieran's feet like not a day has passed without his dad there. 

“What should we do tonight?” Kieran's words are a rumble beneath the hand you have laid on his chest. When you don't immediately answer, Kieran’s hand lands on the back of your thigh and coaxes you to find your words with a soft squeeze. 

“Dunno. Nothing? I don't plan on moving.” You assume Shadow's moody huff is a sound of agreement and grin. “See? Even the dog doesn't want to move. We want to stay right here and spend some quality time with you.”

The hand that drifts to the hem of your shorts is at odds with Kieran's words. “I guess I can't object to that. Just cuddle? I can at least have a couple kisses, right?” 

Lifting your head just enough to meet his tawny brown eyes, you ponder his request. You drag out the suspense and drum your fingers on his chest despite both of you knowing you would never refuse a kiss. “I'm sure something can be arranged. Put something on the telly to entertain Shadow then, he doesn't need to be scarred for life, mister ‘I can't keep my hands to myself’.”

Kieran lifts a shoulder in a what are ya gonna do kind of gesture before putting on a random nature show that immediately captures Shadow's attention. One of Kieran's hands remains on your thigh whilst the other comes up to cup your cheek and pull your lips to his. 

Stubble scratches your chin, but you don't mind. Right then, all that matters is giving Kieran the kiss he deserves. He expertly pulls soft, breathless sounds from you as his tongue glides against yours. The kiss feels familiar and brand new at the same time, like dejavu in the best possible way.

Breaking away for a chance to breathe allows Kieran to drop kisses like dewdrops across your jaw. You smile when he nibbles softly at the skin of your neck, already unable to contain himself. 

“I said cuddles only tonight my darling,” you remind him. “You're pushing your luck. Behave or I'll make you stay in the spare room tonight.” 

Kieran's laugh is full and throaty. You've missed the true sound of his laughter, without it being distorted by a speaker. “That's an empty threat if I ever heard one. If I was a betting man, my money would be on us falling asleep right here on this sofa.” 

In the end, Kieran turns out to be correct. Neither of you moves an inch as the sun sets, your urgent emails suspended in time while you're safely wrapped up in your boyfriend's loving, tanned arms. 

[feralkwe]

whenever you're ready: what the FUCK did Terry Goodkind do to you 😭😭

*cracks knuckles*

hoo boy. are you ready? because the things i am about to say are objective fact and not up for dispute. some of them are mean, but rest assured i mean every word.

terry goodkind created a sweeping and gorgeous world full of magic, ruled by incredible, complex, powerful women. some of the women remain to this day some of my favorite characters in all of fiction. the confessors could compel the truth with a power based in utter love. the mord-sith, could turn pain into power, making them fierce warriors (first antagonists, later allies). sisters of the light, powerful sorceresses who train young wizards and protect sacred prophecies, and their evil counterparts, sisters of the dark. it's just layered with so many amazing women. good. evil. everything in between.

and then he shits all over them.

he brutalizes them with all sorts of sexual abuse. the second book features an evil wizard who uses nipple magic to defile and control women who he deems impure. it's implied, if not outright stated, that the mord-sith are all sexually abused. in book three, kahlan amnell, the mother confessor, is forced to marry and sleep with a man who is not richard, and then richard spends forever punishing her for it, even though it was against her will. he kills one of the only two lesbians in the series, which was my first "bury your gays" experience. richard has a sister who is "pristinely ungifted" (immune to all magic, which i ate up with a fucking spoon as a concept) and she, too, was manipulated and brutalized to further richard's narrative. nicci becomes the most powerful sorceress in the entire world, but spends most of the story being abused, sexually and physically, and the rest in unrequited love with richard in the most egregiously shitty love triangle ever. the last two books are just brutalization porn, detailing every horrific way kahlan is beaten and tortured. every single powerful woman is brought violently down, often through rape. always through violence.

and as if this wasn't bad enough, the entire series is a libertarian allegory. it's not subtle. it's filled with self-aggrandizing conservative-lite morals entrenched in purity bullshit. goodkind was a huge fan of ayn rand, and his penchant for writing richard giving three page monologues that could have all been summed up as "hey idiots, i am right and you are wrong" demonstrate that with astonishing deftness. magic becomes some metaphor for everything that is wrong with the world and society in the clumsiest way possible, until the world must literally be split in two in order to create a libertarian non-magical utopia.

if that wasn't enough, he was so insufferable about everything. he created a rich and detailed fantasy world then constant bemoaned being called a fantasy author. he felt it was beneath him and his talents. he remained pretentious about speculative fiction while profiting from it.

oh, he also famously threw a massive tantrum about one of his later book covers, insulting the cover artist openly and publicly. if you know anything about publishing, you know that authors getting any input over their cover is a huge privilege. so he was a massive asshole, too.

never in my life have i had such a complex relationship with a book series. it has so many spectacular things going for it, but goodkind couldn't step off his own dick. he took himself way too seriously, overused lazy tropes (richard was the most powerful wizard ever but only ever used his powers at the most convenient moment when only a deus ex could save his hole-ridden plot), and can't write a sympathetic protagonist to save his life. idk how you write such amazing women while obviously having disdain for them. some kind of asshole magic, i guess.

anyway, this just scratches the surface. any single thing here would be annoying on its own, and combined it is just exhausting. idk how i suffered through the whole series apart from my commitment to these characters i loved despite his every effort to make the rest of the story unbearable. my one life's regret is that he died never knowing what a hack i think he was. he probably wouldn't have cared because obviously i am inferior to him in every way, but i lament he will never know.

anyway, fuck him.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

also. i think for the most part the netflix adaptation vastly improved on the comics, and even where it didn't, i understand from a scriptwriting perspective why those decisions were made

but as a whump fan. i need show only fans to know how the original imperfect hosts went, because dear god dream was having A Time

like, the show kinda goes alex nightmare -> briefly unconscious -> lucienne finds him and they go check on the palace. he's struggling to get back to full strength but he still seems mostly okay, physically

comic dream, however...

first up, cursing alex took power. power that he did not at all have to spare, he was already hugely weakened from [overture spoilers] even before the cage, and the hundred years did not help. he's that committed to his revenge he's burning up his final reserves here

which means (and this probably happened in show canon we just didn't see it), when dream tries to travel back home, he can only just barely make it to the edge of his realm, where it's just storms and nightmares and sand. and he spends hours just trying to make it to the gates, but even that's too much

which in the show, after who knows how long, is where lucienne finds him

it's gregory that does, in the comics. and like, lucienne definitely a more personal connection, i prefer that way round. but god i wish we'd gotten these lines, because i think that might be the only time dream has ever asked for help from someone who isn't family

(also like. he says in the panel above he doesn't remember anything in between passing out and waking up in the bed in cain's house, which means he was out of it enough he does not remember asking for help)

and that's not the only memory issue here! this line hits me really hard, because with the combination of the hundred year isolation and how tired/hurt he is, for a moment he doesn't remember who abel is

he knows he should recognise him! cain and abel were the first non dream beings to come live in the dreaming, they should be more familiar than anyone. but he can't place it. and god, that's gotta be terrifying for anyone, but especially someone like dream. both in that he's already failed at his duty in such a devastating way, for someone who values responsibility so much anything that continues to keep him from doing his job is horrifying, but also that if he can't rely on his own mind (which i would not be surprised if he was already struggling to, after over a century in a cage), he truly has nothing left

and i'm kinda doing these panels in reverse order, but lastly, this one

like. show dream is having a hard enough time with the fact that he can't instantly restore everything (though he tried as hard as he possibly could)

comic dream? before all this you could create whole worlds by barely more than thinking it. now, it's dark, and you don't know where you are, and you're really not feeling well. and all that power is gone. to the point where you need to rely on someone else's actions just to see.

here in the darkness, and all that

but like - creating light is the tiniest of magics, in the past you did it without even thinking. it barely qualifies as magic. right now, though, even that's beyond you. you've never been more powerless in your life, and you have no idea when or if you'll get those powers back

neil gaiman really said just fuck this guy up

[performativezippers]

Thinking about how Kate had a bit of a gap between working at DIA and starting at the FBI, and knowing that she was estranged from Lucy at the time and while she was becoming closer to Tennant at that time, she didn’t seem to have many close friends, it makes me wonder how long it would have taken someone to notice if something happened to her in that period. I’m not sure what it is about Kate that makes me imagine her in sadder and/or lonelier circumstances

She's not supposed to be working right now. She'd tried to schedule so that she'd only have a weekend between jobs—wrap DIA on Friday and start FBI on Monday—but that hadn't worked. She'd been saddled with two full weeks between, and she'd tried to tell herself that it was fine, that she was in Hawai’i and people pay thousands and thousands of dollars for two week vacations in Hawai’i! She should go surfing and hike up a volcano and eat all the poke and moco loco and saimin she can handle and sleep late and use the fucking hot tub on her deck she never remembers she has.

But all of that only occupies her mind for a couple of days. She finishes at DIA on Friday, by Tuesday she's bored, and by Thursday she's breaking rules and wandering the Pearl offices, running into Lucy and making jokes that fall flat, sneaking info to Tennant about the Maggie Shaw hearing like she still has a job.

She gets slightly busted, though. Not majorly, but Dale from DIA sees her and says something about "hey, aren't you off the clock these days, Whistler?" with something like a smirk because he’s always hated her—most men do, when you're better at the job than they are and take less time to do it—and she'd had to back off.

No more field trips to Pearl, no more Lucy sightings. She spends one night drinking with Tennant but then the next week and a half are in front of her, bleak and empty, nothing to do but torture herself with memories of good times with Lucy and bad times with Cara and every single opportunity she had but passed up to make things right and get herself free and clear before it all blew up in her face.

She's usually fine on her own, not overly prone to loneliness. Or, well, maybe her usual baseline of loneliness is so high that it's hard for it to get to a level that feels significantly worse. She's not sure. But anyway, usually she's fine with being alone, and this week she's not. This week it hurts.

So of course this is the week she wakes up on her bathroom floor in a small pool of blood.

She's not sure how she got there. She's not sure why she's in the bathroom or how long she's been there. Her hand is sticky with blood. Once she can do anything other than just stare at it, her logical mind starts to slowly move forward. She takes in what she’s seeing. The blood is still kind of warm and wet, so she can't have been out that long. She finds her phone near her on the ground, the screen protector cracked. She hadn't sent anyone a text or made any calls, no indication of what happened.

She unsteadily climbs to her feet and looks in the mirror. From the floor she hadn't been able to tell where the blood had come from, but now she can see it's from her head. Or it must be from her head, because her hair is crimson and matted with it, on her right side just below and behind her ear. She looks down at the floor, and yes, there. An impact mark.

She’d fallen and hit her head on the ground.

In way this makes her feel better—head wounds notoriously bleed a lot. They always look worse than they are. In another way, this makes her feel worse. What the fuck happened? It’s seems like the falling happened before her head was hit, probably, based on what she’s seeing around her, so does that mean she passed out and then hit her head? And if so, what the fuck? Why? She’s never done that before.

She takes a few pictures with a shaking hand—of herself in the mirror, the floor, the scene, and then she washes her hands and shakily orders an uber.

It feels weird to get into a stranger’s car when she’s this vulnerable, not sure what happened or if it’ll happen again, literally bleeding from a head wound, but she doesn’t have other options. She’s not about to drive and endanger other people, and there’s no one she can call.

She thinks for a second about calling Tennant, but it’s late and Tennant has kids and just because they drank together once doesn’t mean she wants Tennant to see her like this. She thinks for five seconds about calling Lucy. If this happened to Lucy, if Lucy woke up five minutes ago covered in her own blood, shaking and confused, Kate would want to be called. She would want to get that call, to race over to Lucy’s apartment and take her to the hospital and wait for her and take her home and make her comfortable and take care of her, even if Lucy still hates her.

If she found out this happened to Lucy and Lucy ordered a fucking uber to the hospital, she’d be pissed as fuck.

But she’s not Lucy, and Lucy isn’t her, and Lucy won’t talk to her. Lucy still hates her, and Kate deserves it.

So Kate calls an uber.

She changes her bloody shirt, puts on a baseball hat and a jacket with a popped collar, and doesn’t give the driver a good look at the right side of her head. The drive isn’t long, but the waiting room at the hospital is full. She’d have thought that bleeding out of her head would get her seen quickly, but everyone seems pretty blasé about it. She waits for hours, her head aching and her vision swimming.

Other people go up to the charge nurse, saying things like, “My mother has been here for two hours, how long until she’s seen,” and “When will my daughter’s discharge papers be ready,” and “My husband is having trouble breathing.”

She wonders if she’s the only person there alone. The girl next to her doesn’t have anyone with her but Kate can see her phone, and she’s texting someone who is asking her for regular updates.

Kate doesn’t text anyone.

It’s five hours before she’s seen. She gets asked the same questions four times—nurse, other nurse, intern, resident—and gets a few tests before she gets four stitches and she’s sent on her way. What happened? They couldn’t possibly speculate. All her tests are normal. Go home.

If she had someone to text, she’d say, “Jesus I should have stitched myself up at home. What a waste of time,” or “Our tax dollars hard at work!” but instead she calls herself another uber and she goes home.

She cleans the blood off her bathroom floor and her sink.

It’s the early morning now, but she puts on pajamas and climbs into bed, wondering with every step if she’s about to pass out again, to fall again and hurt herself again. To wake up in another pool of her blood.

She thinks about texting Lucy something like, “if you don’t hear from me in the next 12 hours, can you please send a wellness check to my apartment, I need to make sure I wake up,” but that seems excessive and worrying and extreme and like something you might text a friend. Or, well, no. If she isn’t close enough to have told Lucy this happened, she’s not close enough to ask Lucy to make sure she’s okay now. She’s relied on herself up until now, and that’s how it’s going to have to be.

She sets alarms for herself for every two hours—the doctors didn’t tell her to but better safe than sorry, and she lies down on her left side.

Her head hurts. Her body aches. She’s cold and shaky and afraid. She pictures her blood sinking into her pillows, pictures someone finding her decaying body in a week and a half when she hasn’t reported in for work.

She doesn’t sleep well.

The next time she sees Lucy and Tennant, she doesn’t mention it. Tennant says, “how are you, how was your time off,” and she says, “it was fine.” Lucy doesn’t say anything at all.

[if you want a lucy part 2, lmk]

[bitches-who-write]

Okay, I’ve never asked for a ship and I’m not sure if I’m doing this correctly. I’m 5’4 (162.56 cm) girl with a dark brown buzzcut. I’m a fourth Indian and three fourths black. I’m about 130 pounds (58.967 kilograms). I identify as demisexual. I’m outspoken, lazy and (apparently) a natural-born leader. I don’t believe in gender norms and try to stay openminded when meeting new people for the first time. I’m also incredibly introverted to the point where distant relatives are genuinely surprised to see me at family reunions. I’m academically gifted and have been a straight-A student all my life despite rarely studying. I also have a big ego. I have a soft spot for animals (especially cats) and prefer them over most people. Ironically, my favorite foods are cheeseburgers and hotdogs. I’m never seen smiling unless I like someone and love to make fun of people. Not with the intention of being mean. Just in a more sarcastic way. My classmates, teachers and my four out of my five siblings view me as the “one in charge”. I also refuse to do anything I don’t have to or want to do. Especially if someone could just as easily do it themselves. My relationship with my parents isn’t good largely due to my father’s lack of interest and my mother being a (former) cocaine addict. Which Bowers member/members would you ship me with?

You did this perfectly!! We're happy to be your first ;)

We ship you with...Belch!!

We've mentioned this in previous posts but just because he isn't as fucked up as Patrick or Henry.

That doesn't mean he isn't a dick.

But out of all the guys...he's probably the most respectful...

He isn't a leader..you saw how he got bitched around by Henry??

He doesn't have a leading bone in his body.

...Maybe he likes to be ordered around??

He will try to stand his ground when it comes to people ordering him around...

He folds so fast.

He thinks it's better to just do it than have to deal with people bitching at him.

This also goes for being outspoken.

He is kinda just there as the wheels.

Tbh I don't even think they actually respect this man.

Belch doesn't really strike me as an introvert but he also isn't extremely extroverted either? He's a good in-between.

So this works out for both of you.

He's always down to hang out at home with you, but he is also really good at getting you out of the house.

Don't worry tho..he always tries his best to make sure everything stays lowkey.

The key word is tries.

You don't make fun of people to be mean but he does.

He will say something about everyone. It gets worse tho when someone says something to you first.

The man knows how to fuck up someone's day.

He learned this from the guys.

LOVES CATS.

He most definitely has a soft spot for animals.

Random dates to the animal shelter.

You two spend hours there.

He has adopted a cat..or two.

HE CAN'T HELP IT. HE GOT ATTACHED.

Be prepared for him and the guys to come to you whenever they have a question they need the answer to.

He always has a smug fuckin look on his face.

It usually turns into a full real smile when he's around you.

Whenever he plans on coming to your house, he will always bring you food.

You don't even need to ask.

[unrequited-words]

6/19/24

Juneteeth

What pisses me off more than fucking ANYTHING . . .

When you go on social media, and all you've ever wanted in your life is to be included. This has to deal with his stepmom. She posted pictures of going to a water park/amusement park with all of the kids/cousins. I know we can't be invited to everything and I only get so much PTO off but they never fucking ASK us.

I received an email from work stating that the time I asked off is denied so I can do one of two things. I can wake up, work 3 hours and then go and get my step kids and spend 7 hours on the fucking road and have Sunday off to recuperate.

OR

Say, FUCK IT you have to drive, pick up your kids with the child we share while I work.

I should be getting more PTO in the next 2 weeks when I get paid again to replenish the time I have now off or have them take the points I received everyday by clocking in which is 200 I'm covered either way but I'm just like

WHAT.THE.FUCK.

He's recently been gaming with his best friend while I work and it's actually starting to really and I mean really piss me off. It's hard to hear customer at full volume with headphones trying to understand their order and how I can help them while he's gaming with his buddy and talking pretty loudly etc.

I had to go on mute today to shush him to basically say shut the fuck up and the weak ass bitch that I am apologized after and said sorry when I'm the only one working and the agreement was you watch our kid while I support family of five when sometimes it's usually a family of three.

It's really difficult when my daughter is almost four likes to scream and dance and jump when if I worked in the office it would be harder if I worked IN the office... I would never see my partner or my kid because I would spend the time commuting on a damn train and somehow walking to work and losing sleep so it's better that I work from home but working from home currently sucks and I shouldn't have to babysit a grown ass man and say could you tone it down a bit... So I can you I know, idk... maybe work?

What am I doing now? I am making dinner again. I might have another beer maybe I'm tired of having terrible and I mean terrible sleep

I'm tired that everything lies on my shoulders... bills, chores, dishes and laundry ... I asked him to vacuum last night which he was glad to do and he threw out his back and I felt like garbage because I know he's healing and he hurts... He threw out his back .. but I mean isn't that kind of in the job title of stay at home dad?

Some days, feel like I have another toddler. As soon as I get on break I ask him what can I do for you? What do you need? I also also make sure my kid is taken care of I also make sure she's fed, if she needs to go potty etc

I have zero and I mean zero FUCKING mom friends.

I have no female mom friends and this feels so and I mean so

FUCKING LONELY

I make too much money for state insurance... I cannot afford to go to the marketplace to insure myself and my kid when I'm not barely making rent were in a comfortable spot because of the dividend I got from work, and taxes but I also just spent $1,000 on parts for the car and his truck

When I want something like to get my feet done or to get my eyebrows done because he drives everywhere and I don't have a license it's hard for him and inconveniences him for. Aan hr or so for me ... I look like a dude

I'll probably delete this later because I have literally no one to bitch to

FUCK I NEED A VACATION and to be included

SO.BAD.

[heretherebedork]

If you could rate these characters based on how will the relationship with be to Mew and also what type of fucking will they gonna have, what? (Random thought but you could answer this)

Top

Ray

Boston

Boeing

Sand

Nick

Atom

Dan

See, the problem with this is knowing that there pretty much won't be any fucking and facing that, anon.

So instead I shall discuss this in terms of their relationship and their relationship alone and the future status. So let's see! (Rating, no ranking, just going in the order you gave me!

Top: Honestly, I'm torn on this. Mew claims to be giving Top a chance to prove himself but it also refusing to let go of his pain or actually forgive Top which makes their relationship a real struggle. But they're also both extremely stubborn so... I dunno. This could last their whole lives and, if Mew can ever actually find it in himself to forgive Top, could work. But first they both have to actually be their honest selves together. 6/10

Ray: We saw how that went. I don't think it could get better than that, only worse. If Mew found himself in another place where he felt like pursuing a relationship with Ray and Ray was in a place to accept it... it's gonna be dark and it ain't gonna be smooth and the spirals would never end. 4/10 in actuality, 8/10 for the mess.

Boston: I cannot even imagine this, honestly. Mew just would not. He can't forgive Top and he loves him, he's spent the entire show judging Boston for being himself and that would ruin any chance of any relationship. I just... even the mess doesn't allow for this to be more than, like, a hatekiss that they both regret. 1/10 but I want that hate kiss, damnit.

Boeing: Honestly? I like it. It'd be a competitive relationship full of two men who are sure they know what they want and have wanted and are very, very smart trying to constantly get the upper hand on each other. I actually think they could be great. I mean, Boeing would absolutely ruin it at some point because he is beautiful queer trash but I would watch every second. 10/10

Sand: I feel like Mew would spend a lot of their relationship judging Sand for making alcohol and for any not so savory jobs he does and that while they might be able to make it work, that Sand would find it very wearing. Sand also likes to take care of people and be needed and that's just not Mew. But I think they could end it friendly enough. 5/10 very typical college relationship

Nick: No. Mew has too many green flags for Nick and his red flags are too much in the moral direction. Nick would never. They could try but it'd end just like with Dan. Nick has his taste and it is not Mew shaped. 2/10 just a downgraded Dan

Atom: Can I be clear how much I want this to be canon? This is my new favorite ghost ship. Atom starts flirting with Mew and Mew tells Cheum and they both talk to him and Atom admits that he lied about Boston and not wanting to have sex with him but that is only because he wanted Boston to be monogamous with him!!! And they both approve and Cheum is convinced to give him a chance with Mew because Mew won't hurt him and they all live happily ever after. New best ghost ship, 11/10, no notes.

Dan: Could be cute. Dan is sweet and experienced and seems to have a good head on his shoulders. He could handle Mew's drama and past and he could help him move forward with a relationship while also helping him mature. 7/10, would be fine but not drama

There we go! So my two favorite Mew ships are non canon and they are MewBoeing and AtomMew. I love them both. How do I get them made?

[mejomonster]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook, ep 2:

So I really like Joseph zengs character. He gets better at acting each show i see him in. I love Fangs personality

Fang really did follow this doctor to his tiny mobile house and said You're Having me at Dinner, I brought drinks, work with me, drink with me whether you like it or not, my shifu is like xianyu and my uncle was the guy he died for (that lianhua is relentlessly still searching for the body of). ;-;

Fang also said your cooking sucks, my case here was kept private so fuck you help me More, also I can't actually pay Even though I'm used to being a rich bitch, I hero worshipped li xianyu, I saved your life TWICE DUDE do what I say (you can tell he's used to getting his little way uvu), and "I ran from an arranged marriage I'm not made for politics feel bad for me, i was made to bring justice to the world and make a name for myself~" and li lianhua hit him back with the "-.- I couldn't give a shit about your sob story or anyone's, I'm not looking to be heroic I'm just trying to mind my business dude."

He saved li lianhua twice that's so fucking funny to me. So like, I had a running count once of How Many Times wu xie swooned in dmbj dramas (lmao you can guess how BIG that list got) and how many times xiaoge saved him (if you guess once per episode that's probably the rough average). So it is. Particularly funny to me that wu xies actor is now the guy chronically saving another damsel. I hope fang saves li lianhua at least once per episode! Fuck it, I love twice per episode why not continue that! I want li lianhua falling in his arms repeatedly, nonstop, to the point its expected. I would very much enjoy that trope (and letting Joseph zengs character get to be the savior in said trope more uvu)

It's also funny cause wu xie was a prickly kitten of a damsel in distress. Whereas li lianhua is adamantly acting like he was NEVER about to die in the first place. There's mm... there's probably character details in there... something to be said about li lianhua not afraid of dying, or emotionally heavy enough he wouldn't mind getting to after 10 years of not dying from a poison when he Should Have and a mortal wound when he Should Have. Idk about other people, but when I got really chronically sick and I was in the ER almost dying a lot for months. Mm. It got to a point where I was like why can't my body just hit me all at once and let me live or die like when I got appendicitis, why does it have to be hurting me slowly and I just have to bear it and it's slow enough I have to get up and fight it every day and it may never end. And it's like I dunno, I see in li lianhua the ghosts of those kind of feelings. Maybe. We'll see I guess if it gets that emotionally heavy. Back to the point though, I find his character interesting and different than sifeng (which again I really appreciate lol)

I just. I love Joseph zengs character in this

I like the episode structures so far??? It feels like 2 parters, which helps to break up watching. And it seems it cheapened out on wasting time on some scenes in order to spend more time on case plots, which I think is a good choice

My gay rating? Not as gay (yet) as Word of Honor or Lord Critical World. Though reminding me of both shows. (Lord Critical World is WILD BTW and full of dmbj actors so I highly recommend it for a Weird Time). It is however striking me as having the potential to have as shippy vibes (at minimum) as Ultimate Note. Which I mean. I'm optimistic I guess?

Anyone else beyond refreshed to see a real dog instead of a cgi animal in one of these shows?

I'm curious how closely this follows the novel. Because I'm quite liking the show. If the novel is Just as good or better, I'll definitely be checking out the novel.

I am l...doubting it's intentional, but li lianhua's whole Setup feels VERY modern ordinary man, despite the wuxia setting and him being The Best Heroic Swordsman ever 10 years prior (and the Miracle Medicine Man/smart liar now). Despite the very belonging to this genre Character Setup, cheng yi plays him like a modern ordinary 35 year old, and a lot of character Details just strike as. Very relatable. Having a dog you share dinner with, living in a small mobile home (ultimately), having your own little garden (and budget being tight), trying to learn how to cook because you have to make good food for Yourself, lying to protect yourself in a shady environment (rather than playing Brazen Hero who picks a fight like one expects in this kind of shows hero type), been sick a long time and in no way in their prime anymore (even though he's relatable to me thats also lol just generally relatable to anyone who's aged and realized they can't be The Best at sports anymore or something), focused on people he loves now and being roughly fair instead of Saving the World (a very relatable goal and one I feel like a lot of people gravitate toward as they age: you don't always keep believing you personally will be a superstar or billionaire or save the planet on your own, and while it's awesome if you still do, you also start realizing you're satisfied to also just make sure your loved ones are supported and your local neighborhood has a food pantry you support and you get invested in what you can do today right now everyday to help in little ways).

[rickktish]

Maybe it's because I'm a product of my time and place, idk, but sometimes the anti-car posts I see come across my feed get to me in a silly and purely emotional way. Because as much as I love the idea of implementing better public transit, both for the sake of the environment and for the impact it would have on citizen's wallets, I actually know that I personally would almost never use it.

Both for practical reasons, since my work covers an extremely broad area and I frequently drive over a hundred miles each way to and from work in a day, but also because my car is a part of my support system. It's a marker of my independence and ability to care for and provide for myself in spite of the fact that I can't live on my own. It's a safe space that belongs to me and isn't limited by someone else's ownership or control over that space. I bought it with my money, and I pay all the insurance and gas and repair costs. When I'm exhausted and feel alone and trapped I can literally just get in and go anywhere, and I don't have to worry about having a panic attack because someone can see me or hear me breathing or be annoyed that I'm taking up space, because it's my space and only mine alone. Sometimes that means driving around the block to the local park, sometimes that means going two or three miles to a grocery store, and sometimes that means picking a road and just driving in a straight line until I feel less crazy again, but none of that would be possible without my car.

I used to walk 20k+ steps in a day, and when I could do that maybe I could go on a walk to clear my head instead, but for the last three years going more than 3k steps in a single day means I have to spend the next day in bed recovering.

And yes, driving-- especially driving stick, which I prefer massively over automatic-- has its own toll. Today I wasn't able to drive the four hours each way it takes to go visit my brother at school like I had hoped because I drove two hours each way to work yesterday.

But because I spent yesterday driving, I got to spend today getting things done that I wouldn't be able to do otherwise. Today I walked around the kitchen to make myself food. I worked on daily tasks like cleaning and organizing, hell, I ate more than one meal today because I could actually get out of bed to do so. I can't do that on a day after I've had to walk around a lot.

If I lived in one of the "walkable" communities that have been cropping up all over my area, I would need to get myself a wheelchair to achieve the same level of independence I currently have, and likely still have less of it because I would need to plan around a whole different kind of fatigue from buying groceries or spending time with friends than I currently deal with. Driving five minutes to the store and spending a thousand steps there leaves me with more steps for things like showering and making dinner than walking five minutes to the store would, and that's so important to me. It's necessary in order for me to have the quality of life that I do, even as limited as I am by my body. I may not be able to work full time, but at least I can spend three days of my week doing a job that I love and value because I don't have to plan around distance from bus stops or adding public transit time to my already-fucked sleep schedule.

I don't know. Mostly I think I get a little bit tired of the posts that spend so much time denouncing the evils of personal cars and declaring that we have to replace them with public transit because I honestly think that ideally, we ought to plan for both. Public transit works really well for people living close together who don't go very far, and that needs to be supported better than it is in most places at present. It's also really good for people who need to go relatively far away at predictable and plannable times. But we shouldn't dismiss cars wholesale as evil; we need to try to strike a balance, for the sake of those whose lives or jobs aren't predictable and plannable, and for those who don't or can't live in communities structured for "walkability."

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

Hear me out stucky+edibles for the first time = absolutely bloated and gorged Steve and Bucky

First things first, I've never tried weed. I'm not of legal age yet, and I also have control issues 😎 I'm so cool, lmao.

So, I don't really have a desire to try weed, nor is weed isn't something I'm super interested in generally. I do have friends that LOVE weed, though. I have experience by proxy, not personal experience. Idk how accurate anything I write would be

That being said...

I do like intox kink 👀

And I bet weed (and specifically the side effect of the munchies) would amount to an absolute orgy of gluttony for Steve and Bucky.

The boys stoned equals constantly hungry boys. And constant hunger turns into constant feeding, or, at least, constant grazing. Never not doing the motion of hand-to-mouth, packing down. Always making up new combo foods, like the time they order too much domino's and too much McDonald's and decide the only way to solve the problem is to put their burgers and fries on their pizza and stuff it all down together. They're beached after that.

In general, no matter the occurrence of getting high, they end up being so fucking out of it.

Flying like kites yet remaining firmly on the ground, weighed down by all the extra weight they've put on since discovering the incredible world of edibles. They're so lazy, zoning out, and riding out their highs on opposite couches where they can take up all the space they need, just sitting back on their widening asses, pinned under gurgly guts. Arms supporting their dome-like bellies as if they're pregnant. Major food babies.

Also, sometimes, while chomping down edibles, they forget that they're eating edibles (they're just so good! they taste so good!) and so they go in hard on the snacks and end up much higher than they mean to. So, they also end up hungrier than they mean to. Getting higher and hungrier means they order and order and order all different types of takeout, plowing through it, not even recognizing how full they are (or how much money they're spending) until neither of them can move.

They can't sit up over their packed guts that hang out of the bottom of their extremely tight shirts and rip the seams of their sweatpants at the thighs, hips, down their ass, or wherever their extra weight can escape. Blowing up. They can't move around. Not at all 😮‍💨

And things are only going to get tighter from here because takeout is greasy and fattening and sugar and, just, full of all the worst things that taste the best. The worst things that're mouthwatering and that promote bloating. Steve and Bucky think they're round now? Just wait 30 minutes...

They'll be so big that they'll be amazed with themselves, caressing their own bellies, waxing hazy poetic words about how fit to bursting they feel. Heavy and stuck like whales. No! Like that ship that got stuck in that canal. Or, no, not like a ship, that's the wrong shape and not heavy enough. They're round and heavy like the whole planet. Earth. And, God, do you think Earth feels bloated before volcanos erupt? All that pressure. Wait, wait, wait, can you imagine swallowing the whole planet? It'd be so heavy and make you so round. And it'd be hot too, right? Like, the core is lava or whatever.

They're full and high and stupid, and it all makes them conk out into food comas pretty fast. By the time they wake up... it's time to start all over again.

Steve and Bucky waste all of their days high and stuffed. Is it really a waste when it feels so good, though???

Eventually, when they're forced to not eat any edibles for a whole day (and, Jesus, those 24 hours feel WAY longer than they should) for some event they absolutely cannot attend even a little high Steve and Bucky will look down at their bellies falling out of their clothes and pushing solidly into their laps, they'll look at each other and try to figure out where all this fat came from. All this blubber that's so soft and malleable and delectable when their stomachs aren't stretched to the max from having no pauses in their days' worth of eating. Their fat tummies are so cushy under exploring, sober hands. Do we really look like this? How did we not realize? How did we put on so much weight without noticing? Like, we were high, hell yeah, but how were we that high that consistently? And... why does it turn us both on so much?

(I just reread the ask and realized you asked for the first time they try edibles....... I'm so dumb lol. Oops. Not exactly what you wanted and super short, but I hope you enjoyed still ❤️)