#can’t believe he’s really gone
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Credit: nhlflames
I know I’m not a fan of the Flames and Blue Jackets but I’m going to do my own candle light vigil at the same time as the Flames are. Im in California so it’s going to be an hour difference.
The vigil will take place at the memorial outside the Scotiabank Saddledome as we honour the lives of Johnny & Matthew Gaudreau.
#candlelight vigil#johnny gaudreau#matthew gaudreau#columbus blue jackets#calgary flames#johnny hockey#I may be from california and not a fan of both teams but he is truly someone special#there’s a special place on hell for drunk drivers#nhl#can’t believe he’s really gone#his death hits me the hardest
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“okay but he was a villain and had to die”
your implication states that eri should also be responsible for the grooming & manipulation that she faced with overhaul. whether you like it or not, eri and shigaraki parallel in various aspects but mostly due to the the type of abuse they suffered. the message that tomura was too far gone to be saved doesn’t really make sense though but it does track with the words that twice said “as for the people who heroes like to save, yeah. they’re always good and virtuous. there’s no place in society for an insane guy like me”
the only difference was that eri and tomura shigaraki (tenko shimura) is that eri was stumbled into izuku and mirio & written as someone who could be saved primarily due to her age. eri and shigaraki are two sides of the same coin and she could’ve ended up JUST like him if she didn’t run into izuku and mirio.
#m#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#shigaraki tomura#eri bnha#tenko shimura#i’m in mourning because i really can’t believe he’s gone
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I said this in tags on another post, but it’s relevant and deserves its own post (I should be reading my usual pre- sleeping fic selection, BUT! I had this revelation -being sleepy is useful once again! -)
They NEEDED Steve to disappear, to be gone. To never care about Bucky anymore. That way they could treat Bucky as they see fit, and that means treating him like shit.
Steve would NEVER accept or allow Bucky to make amends, he would NEVER let the government take care of Bucky or be part of his “rehabilitation” in any way shape or form. That’s why he became Nomad, that’s why Bucky stayed in Wakanda. He would had fight with teeth and nails for Bucky.
“He died already more than once! He was a victim! A prisoner of war. He saved the fucking universe. What the fuck do you mean with amends!”
He became a wanted criminal for that same reason, to not let them have Bucky (nor other people in a fucking watchlist)
They needed Steves relationship with Bucky to become bitter, to be nothing more than a memory.
Steve being in retirement wouldn’t have cut it and…
Bucky was always going to follow Steve, no matter what.
So they needed him to stay alone (or with a companion that didn’t really care as much as Steve, enter Sam)
This way they killed two birds with one stone in Endgame: Reinforcing Steves “love” for Peggy, because “he’s NOT gay, you guys!”, and the partial isolation of Bucky.
#steve rogers#bucky barnes#stucky#i had this revelation bc Im sleepy af#also I love Sam but cmon! he didn’t believe much in Bucky and then was friendly with him bc of Steve#they didn’t have a good relationship really#more like friend enemies? sorta#idk I already said that I don’t care much about marvel nowadays#and I mean that#but I had this thought and was huh that actually makes so much sense#partial isolation of Bucky bc he doesn’t have anyone that really knows him as Steve knew him#sure he can have friends o be friendly with others#But its the same problem Steve had with meaningful relationships and shared experience#also Steve loved him and believed in him unconditionally#who else is going to do that for him now?#Thats why they NEEDED STEVE GONE#and being on retirement wouldn’t have cut it#this only makes my hc of Old!Steve being a skrull stronger#also Steve replacing Bucky with Peggy on his mind and when he speaks bc of internalized homophobia#everything makes sense!#im actually like the dude from that meme where hes with a board filled with stuff and like see im right!#i need someone to talk about this omfg my friends can’t care less about ny favorite things dude why#also this really makes sense to me and will become my favorite headcanon because canon is shit and doesn’t make sense#i need things to make sense and to be logical ok? at least in character#and endgame Steve wasn’t Steve Rogers#old!steve wasn’t even Steve wtf
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN CHUGGAACONROY IS BACK?!
#Chuggaaconroy#I… I can’t believe it…#He really came back…#I suppose there were a couple of signs hinting at his return#but HOLY CRAP I WASN’T EXPECTING THIS TO HAPPEN TODAY#I figured he’d be gone for the rest of the year but NOPE
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Most underrated byler moment goes to this. Them hugging, only to stand by each other this close, with Will looking at Mike emotionally waiting for him to look back, but all Mike can do is stand there frozen… Both suffering and not feeling like they can comfort each other any more than they already have 😭😭😭
#byler#I’m actually having a mental breakdown about this rn#I remember really early on into believing byler#I rewatched this scene and this shot specifically just stuck w me#I feel like we barely talk about it#but seeing as mike and el are like continuously embracing beyond that one time#and Mike is constantly looking dejected in those embraces#and Mike and Will only got to hug once basically#with him literally falling into wills arms and then pulling away like he’s been burned…#makes this shot all the more fucking tragic#Mike and el are back together#mike is back to repressing#and then they hug and he’s even more pushed into the closet bc he can’t let himself face what he’s feeling straight on…#and then they’re both gone#and then s4 happens and Mike can’t barely hug Will#after that s3 hug???#oh he is down bad bad#it’s so fucking tragic#it hurts
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Do you guys ever think about if Jon had been taken by the Not!Them the person to remember him probably would have been Tim?
#tma#the Magnus archives#Tim stoker#jonathan sims#cause I do#i think about it all the time#the pattern seems to be someone close but not close enough#and isn’t that Tim?#really?#when you think about it#🥲#and he would HATE it too#hate that he has now been burdened with the knowledge that Jon is gone and no one else remembers him#that this New Jon is /wrong/#and no one will ever believe him and he can’t prove it#The Stranger Hates Tim Stoker
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T-thinking about new dad Bakugou
#just him holding this tiny little thing he helped create and he just has this look in his eyes#like he didn’t really know this kind of love existed until you gave him this gift#waking up early in the morning to him gone cause he wants to check in on the kiddo before he has to leave for work#and he’s just silently leaning over the crib#watching them sleep cause he can’t believe he’s part of something so perfect
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what a roller coaster of emotions today has been
#i just opened up my tt to a bunch of 1d edits and i feel so weird and empty and sad again#i still can’t believe it#i had a nice day otherwise and those pics are so crazy my phannie heart is overjoyed they shared those moments with us#but like… he’s really gone
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I’m like half asleep but I’m thinking about a “bad” god!Gale endgame where a heartbroken Tav is unwilling to just let what they had with Gale go because he’s lost himself. Under the divine veneer, there’s still something of the mortal man left and Tav is going to find a way to bring him back.
Whether he wants to or not.
#Rumors start circulating about a haunted looking traveler destroying shrines to the new god of ambition#scholars and clerics reporting sightings and even meetings with an individual asking one question: how does one kill a god#idk I’m just thinking thoughts#I don’t usually go for darker ideas but this won’t leave me alone#and like I’d like to believe if there is something of the mortal Gale left in there he’d regret what he became#but be unable to resist the urge to grow his power and see how far he can go#he’s too far gone to help himself but not too far gone to be helped ya feel???#and he’s gonna resist tav’s efforts but at the end of the day he still loves them and can’t really hurt them#so he just kinda haunts them#perhaps tav is bolstered by the dreams they keep having about the version of Gale they fell in love with#he’s still in there somewhere#they just have to figure out how to cut the god out of him#ok this probably isn’t anything I’m going to bed bye#bg3#baldur's gate 3#gale of waterdeep#mine
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about to be sooo nosy so. my apologies. but. morgan frost? girlfriend? do share (or don’t! again this is so nosy i’m sorry)
for legal purposes i can neither confirm nor deny anything about morgan and his girlfriend but afaik i think he’s single right now? at one point (within the past four years 😭) he did for sure have a girlfriend and that is the extent of my wag knowledge
#anon PLEASE i am the nosiest person in the world i understand i want to know everything. ever. however#because i have no evidence and don’t want to spread unfounded rumors i will state for the jury i am not a gossip blog#& anything i say should be taken with a grain of salt. or a vsco deep dive & also maybe a dig into the flyers media archives. wrt UNfounded#but i will gossip in your dms because it’s a vital method of communication and important for community building.#also i’m like 95% sure i just osmosed the fact that morgan and his girlfriend broke up sometime earlier in the hockey season from someone#else (probably flyerskay) and accepted it at face value like absolutely i’d trust kay with my life. she would never lie to me and therefore#i can’t be lying to you. i can’t remember morgan’s gf’s name tho but i can like. vividly remember her artsy possessive vsco photos 😭 help#that man posts more about tom petty than he does anyone else in his life besides joel so really how would we know if hes posted her less#the answer is we wouldn’t and i want to say her name is katie SO bad but i know that’s tyson’s gf it’s like. victoria or stacie or somethin#& i want to see if SHE deleted all her vsco pictures of him bc that’s how we’d know they broke up. frosty stop following so many girls#i want to try and find her and see (she’s a model and she was public and had her vsco linked so all of this is public info btw.)#ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA OANDJRIWNDHOWHDB IT IS 1:38 AM AND I HAVE JUST MANAGED. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD ANON HOLD ON#BUCKLE YOURSELF THE FUCK IN FOR AN ANSWER YOU DID NOT ASK FOR BECAUSE THIS IS A R I D E AND I NEED TO YELL ABOUT IT I CAN’T MY GOD I CANNOT#B R E A T H E i’m about to start crying again but the backstory is that. i have had a fic that i have been working on for literal years.#my version history says March 15 2021 and it started in my notes app about 3000 words before that and it’s based off of a tweet i thought#calla had quoted and just said ‘Joel’ about but in my notes i never#saved the actual tweet and many times throughout the years i have gone back and advanced searched every version of joel and joelle and bee#and behavior on calla’s blog that i could possibly think of and just assumed like. it must’ve gotten deleted or the account suspended and i#could never remember the wording well enough to just google it but believe me i tried and put in every variation. never found it in 4 years#i try periodically. fast forward to about twenty minutes ago i am looking through kay’s twitter and searching vsco because i SWEAR she has#the picture of frosty’s gf’s fingernail marks in the back of frosty’s shoulders i am talking about / I can’t find her vsco linked anywhere#but i’m like ok. search up a couple other things and think about who might have it and on a WHIM look up vsco in ash notthequiettype’s acct#no results okay whatever i think about what else could maybe pull it up for me so I have SOMETHING for you. I search frosty. I scroll. GUES#WHAT I FUCKING FIND FROM NOVEMBER 13TH 2020 it is THE FANTASTIC TWEET THAT SPAWNED 16K OF NOTES & FIC & A SPREADSHEET OF JOEL’S CLASSES#AND I NEVER WOULD’VE FOUND IT AGAIN IF NOT FOR THIS!!! LOSING IT!!! by it I mean my mind and my sleep schedule!!! it’s 2AM now good night!!#liv in the replies#morgan frost#philadephia flyers
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i’m feeling soooo nervous for my assessment monday. we’re going to review my answers to the questionnaires i was given and i’m worried i’m going to clam up on the spot and not be able to justify myself at all
#which is why i wrote 300 pages of notes in preparation#but what if she doesn’t believe me because i can’t articulate myself well#i was talking to my bf about this earlier and how i’m worried i’m not going to walk away with a diagnosis if i can’t communicate myself#to her in our meeting. and then realized wait. why am i so worried about not being able to communicate#LOL i’m probably fine. but like what if i’m making it all up and/or i can’t get her to believe me#idk she does. bc she asked if i’ve had staring spells and i said yeah since like 1st grade#and my dad said he hadn’t noticed me doing that. and then she was like ‘well she must have done a really good job hiding it.#which is what she wanted.’ so she KNOWS i’ve been masking#idk. it’s just wild. this is the most insane thing i’ve ever gone through
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‘the most crucial skill that a good drinksmith needs is listening… drinksmithing is all about having conversations with your guests’
tea house owner!reader energy for real
#my mind shot straight there when siobhan said this in the hsr event#hey guys#what if i just steal the concept of the event and write a continuation?#the reader does spy on people and accept bribes for jobs blah blah blah#but they also offer free therapy over tea!#(but only if they like the person if course) (everyone else is getting eavesdropped on)#…i started writing this as a joke but hey it could be fun#if i ever write a continuation of that fic i might do something like that#high cloud quintet members coming for therapy after baiheng dies#reader helping couples talk through problems in their relationship calmly#i’m a sucker for characters who are very elusive and sneaky and cold but when it comes to it have a heart of gold#‘yes i will expose your enemy’s business blah blah but hang on let me help this lost child find their parents first’#‘oh you’re not being patient? you think your rivalry is more important than this child? actually you can keep the money and leave thank you#[turning to child] ‘now tell me where you last saw your parents’#and with their connections from the various dealings they’ve had around the xianzhou they’d be really good at dealing with these situations#and with regards to the jing yuan aspect of things i firmly believe he needs somebody with kindness and warmth in them to fall for them#reader can’t all be bribery and dodgy deals#imagining him coming to the shop one day to get some information they’ve gathered or whatever#and they’re like ‘shush not now i’m hearing this girl vent about her shit partner’#or doing something nice#and he falls even harder#sorry i have gone on an absolute tangent here#i don’t know what demon possessed me#maybe i will write a part two who knows#that reader would certainly be a fun one to flesh out#r’s random thoughts
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just found my dad’s jthm books! at least that asshole could be useful for something
#i’ve read jthm before but it’s nice to have the physical books#i found other books too but these were the ones i was originally looking for#can’t believe he’s been gone for years but this is the first time i’ve looked at his comic collection#actually i can believe it#i hate going in my basement#he didn’t manage to get a lot of his stuff when my parents separated#i would feel bad about him leaving all his books here if he wasn’t an abusive asshole#i also got his friend’s bass#he was storing it here before all the shit with my dad went down#i figure it’s been long enough#if he really wanted it he would have came by#it’s been YEARS#time to teach myself how to play bass#johnny the homicidal maniac#jthm#jhonen vasquez
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I can't be the only one who noticed this but they completely ripped "athlete" from Jon's character and honestly it's very disappointing
#being an athlete was a big part of his style and personality in the previous seasons#it really made him stick out compared to jordan#jordan was the one in the dark colors and hoodies#while jon's style was sporty and more fancy and it matched his character perfectly#and now he kind of dresses like jordan 2.0 with all the dark colors on top of dull colors#what happened to all the clothes he wore before??#he isn't supposed to be jordan's identical twin get those dark colors off of him#and bring back the colorful puffy jackets and that goofy tracksuit 😭#it's so depressing because being an athlete was something unique to jon only and it was such a big part of him#now it's gone and he really doesn't have anything unique to him anymore hobbies and likes wise#playing football professionally or not i think the show could have kept him as an athlete#they could have had little scenes of him going on jogs or working out or just throwing a football around#i just have a hard time believing jon would just magically forget a huge part of his character#just because he can’t play football with a team that didn't like him in the first place#it more seems like the writers don't care and would rather jon be 'jordan's nice brother who looks and dresses like him'#than let him have stuff unique and special to him as a character#superman and lois#jonathan kent
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I’m not goddamn ready to say goodbye to Captain Holt
I’m just not ready
#andre braugher#rip andre braugher#I just can’t believe he’s really gone#Someone please tell me it was all a prank
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#i! feel! so! disconnected! from everything and everyone#and it’s so god damn annoying#I either feel nothing at all or everything at once and I can’t balance it#but if I take the time to sit with the things I’m scared of I’ll just keel over I don’t have time for it#Im just on autopilot moving ahead#because I have to! if I don’t my fear will win from me and that will Not be pretty#and that’s what I’m so upset about like I didn’t get something I really wanted#and it’s fully because of anxiety but the alternative is WORSE#and the people involved don’t KNOW I have anxiety but I can’t tell them either because it will make them look at me differently and I can’t#afford them to. I can’t let that happen and I think this is the first time I’m realising how much it holds me back even after uni#and I’m so angry over it dndndnd so so so angry and if they KNEW how much I had gone through no one would ever doubt my ability to —#bounce back and take charge of a situation ever again. they’d know I can do that. But it’s too private to share so now it’s up to me to#BELIEVE it and just show them but it takes so much out of me every time#and if it weren’t for the pandemic I would’ve been much further along and if it weren’t for my fucking burnout I’d have been further along#and it weren’t for my Fucking dad I’d be further along. I’m just so mad#so mad that I have to undo and tackle so much when people just sail through things but for me EVERYTHING takes effort#also I have not seen or spoken to my dad since December and I have a wedding he’s attending and I can’t get out of it#and I constantly pingpong between ‘its for the best I broke off contact I needed the space to heal’ and ‘I am a horrible person for taking#his only daughter away from him instead of talking’#but I’ve TRIED the talking and he just never LISTENS????? and made me feel so unsafe in this world at all times#I’m constantly trying to undo all that and it’s exhausting and no one gets how much effort that takes and I can’t tell them either#like. not gonna unload my trauma on people but if they KNEW they’d get why I don’t always react optimally to things the way they do#aaarffggHhhhHHHhHhhh#also I’m not even enjoying festa I’m not tuned in at ALL and that’s also deeply upsetting but there’s no other way atm#Also. did a thing in PFPT today that. I feel complicated things and I’m just upset about the way my life’s been until now#its making me feel worse than I was expecting#oh AND I was on a trip with friends I’ve had for 16+ years and they all were so happy to be together#felt so connected with each other and it was familiar and safe and lovely they said#meanwhile I cried at 3am in the bathroom because I had never felt more alienated from them ever#I know who /I/ am and what I want and don’t want but the dissonance with the rest of the world….. what the fuck man. What is my place even
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