#can you tell that I don't really know how to draw environments lmao

[felixvanhuss]

OC Kiss Week 2 - Rain

(Tagging @stabbyfoxandrew and @jezifster )

I missed a day by being busy and then another day by being exhausted, but I'm still doing this! Look at my OCs, boy!

Taking a break on Earth and enjoying the rain together <3

[chernabogs]

i really like the concept of the draconias being cursed with their love, although love is a curse and heart is a heavy burden in itself,,, it's still a fun subject to talk about. your fic in maleficia pov is such an eye opener for this 🥺 id love to see more of your insights w that trope lol

Ouagh idk if you're aiming to let me just yap away about this, but that's precisely what I'm going to do because the prospect of bloodline curses/hereditary curses is one of my FAV things in folklore. This isn't a theory as much as it is me talking about just some things I've noticed and how I interpret it

To preface this, this has absolutely no hold in canon LMAO. This is just what I've noted when taking a step back and looking at the Draconia family—which is that they have a shitty track history with things happening to them. As a secondary point, I have no idea what Yana is pulling from for her background of fae information. Myths of fae come from all over the world; you got them in Europe, in Scandinavian countries, Oceania, Africa, etc (like really, they're all over). I do know her bits and bops about Malleus loving ice cream/dairy items falls more in line with European interpretations, so I'm rolling that she's drawing somewhat from that.

Which kind of leads me to noting the poor luck the Draconia's seem to have. In a lot of European folklore, fae love to curse (most often piseóg)—be it humans, dwarves, elves, or even their own kind (this really fantastic thesis digs right into that concept via an analysis of european folk stories). One story I like a lot is The Two Sisters and The Curse, a lovely tale of pride and fae. One sister brags that her sister has a fae lover, failing to follow the stipulation that she's never to tell anyone about that fae lover. The result is tragic, as expected, but the line 'If a fay-being has power, revenge will be taken though it may be on your descendants.' really sticks out in this.

Hereditary curses are curses passed through a bloodline that, understandably, can only be broken when certain stipulations are met; the ancient Greeks especially loved them. Some might think them as geas (a curse/gift, which is kind of what Meleanor put on Malleus before he was hatched; humans would fear him, fae would adore him, etc.). A lot of piseóg in European folklore are hereditary curses intent on really fucking with a family.

In my opinion, it kind of feels like the Draconia's either have the worst luck streak on record with how many things happen to them, or they have a curse. We don't know what happened to Maleficia's husband, but the assumption is that he's probably dead. Meleanor's husband went MIA in the middle of a war that her family and her people were also dragged into. Then, Meleanor died, robbing Maleficia of her only daughter. Upon her death, Maleficia was unsuccessful at hatching Malleus' egg because he began to reject her magic; if Lilia hadn't existed or had declined to help, Malleus would have died too, leaving Maleficia.

In addition, Malleus (due to his nature as sole heir and only family) was raised in an incredibly contained environment his entire life. Hell, he was chronically alone since he was in an egg. Even now he still holds this belief in his mind that he has no one except for the same 4 people he's known his entire life, and even then, one of them (Lilia) who he cares for a lot is also about to die. Silver will die before him. Sebek will die before him. His grandmother will die before him.

Really, it looks bad when you step back. This is kind of why I focused the Maleficia fic on the concept of a curse. I wrote it like she had an inkling someone in her family line had crossed the wrong person and it resulted in a piseóg, and she just doesn't know how to break or stop it.

Frankly, I love the trope to bits. I love the tragedy, I love the many ways it can happen (pissing off fae, pissing off a tenant, evicting a fairy king from your farm because you're just tryna do your harvest, etc.), and I love when one person finally manages to figure out the niche needed to break the curse. I imagine the relief of freedom from generations of tragedy is immense.

I kind of hope that happens with the Draconia's, or at least their luck turns around with Malleus. I feel like the whole family has been dragged through the mud enough LMAO.

[marshmallowprotection]

I think the twins birthday cgs are super pretty but there are a few parts that are throwing me off and I can't stop looking at it. Why is Saeyoung's hand so jacked up (the layering of the fingers look off), what is up with the perspective of the cake box and also why is the envelope being pushed into the cake. That whole section of the image is weird. I'm only mildly concerned it's AI but I don't really want to doubt the artist since all the images thus far have been fine and Saeran's looks fine aside from the cake board being below the water. It might just be a fluke but it kinda bothers me. I'm just gonna hope the artist chose rule of cool over realism while drawing this piece. On a more fun note, I appreciate how extra Saeran's celebration is compared to his brothers. Guy knows how to go all out lmao 😂 👏

As it stands right now, I don't know for sure if AI was used or not for these images. I can't say one way or the other, but I can say that I've seen some speculation about Saeyoung's artwork specifically due to the cake and the way the hands look. It looked strange to me as well the longer I stared at it, but that's the only part of Saeyoung's image that threw me off.

My working theory at the moment is that the artist was put on a major time crunch to complete five illustrations for June as there have been five images done this month. They didn't have enough time to finish Saeyoung's illustration, and thusly, Cheritz told them that they needed to do anything to get it done, meaning they used fucking AI to finish the cake area? I mean, I don't know why anyone would generate AI for one section of an image, but it's one possible answer here.

The art itself looks like the art we've had so far, and nothing seemed off about the rest of the image to me, either. It's just the cake area in question. So, I have to wonder if they cheated on the cake itself but not the rest of the image?

If the artist really was rushed and there was no AI used, that's just as bad, too. Because, why are you pushing someone to meet a deadline like that? Just say, "We're sorry, the art needs another week, please be patient with us and become excited for it!" We're okay to wait one more week, Cheritz. If you used AI for artwork AGAIN after everyone admonished you for it, that's disgusting.

Hands are notoriously known to be a tell for AI, but hands are also difficult for artists to draw. I cry over hands all the time, but that's also no excuse for using AI just because you couldn't draw the damn hands. Just stare at more hand references and draw until you think it looks like a hand. That's what I do. I stare and stare and then I cry my eyes out. I hate hands.

AI is unethical. Pay artists for their time and money instead of using a soulless art theft machine.

I don't want to believe that Cheritz would use AI again after they were publicly lashed for it, but we just can't always have good things in this world and assume the best of everyone.

So, I would advise folks to be emailing Cheritz for transparency on the matter. I know some people have already emailed them about it, so we'll have to wait and see. I'll pray they're transparent and honest about the image making process.

The only thing that threw me off about Saeran's image is something that could easily be an artist mistake. There's one water ripple that's overlapping the cake. I've done stuff like that before. Forget to delete an area of the image or left the wrong layer on. His cake isn't in water, it's on a cake board, it just kinda blends in because it seems to be the lightest brown. But, hey, even the cake board looks like its a little bit wet.

At the end of the day, I don't know whether or not AI was used. I think it's important to have these conversations because we can't let folks get away with lying about the authenticity of their artwork. But, in the same vein, I hate that AI has even created an environment where art has to be speculated about.

The Pokemon TCG just had a competition where people who used AI and got through to the finals, but even though they have been caught and removed AS THEY RIGHTFULLY SHOULD BE FOR THAT, before the company made that statement and promised to remove the AI art and pushed forward real artists, a legitimate artist was harassed by a lot of people and had to prove their art was theirs to begin with. It's disgusting.

I hate what AI is doing to people beyond fucking theft, it's out here making environments where artists have to record everything they do to prove they're not a soulless machine. This isn't fair to anyone. Stop using AI. Don't even get me started on the ChatGPT fanfiction or the Character AI phone calls using STOLEN VOICES FROM VOICE ACTORS.

You wanna hear a character say something, you pay someone who is good at impressions to do it, you look that voice actor in the face and ask them to say your silly line when you visit a con or maybe if they have those pay-for-video things, or you mash the words together like those YouTube Poops used to do ages ago.

[lunar-years]

Holy shit, reading that anon (Jamie is son-shaped to Ted, but Ted is not father-shaped to Jamie) and your answer (how and why Ted fails Jamie every single time) I realized just how much, on the other hand, Jamie and Roy GET each other.

Roy gives Jamie direct instructions on how to become better and win his praise, not only with the training and diet regimen in S3, but back in S2 when Roy comes up with a literal signal, to tell Jamie exactly what to do and when. That's what Jamie responds best to, what he'd been seeking all throughout S2, and somehow Roy just knew.

And Jamie, he never pushes Roy to speak when he senses something is wrong. What he does is, he offers himself up first, honestly and openly, expecting nothing in return, but creating such a supportive environment that Roy naturally starts to open up (ironically, very similar to Ted's approach to Roy lmao).

In Amsterdam he knew that Roy was just taking his negative emotions out on him, and instead of challenging him, Jamie just went along with it, apologizing for being a dick first, sharing his memories of Amsterdam (good and bad), and finally calling Roy out lightly ("you're just taking it out on me"), in passing. And it did not make Roy defensive because until that point Jamie had offered Roy so much of himself, that instead of closing up, Roy naturally let go and was finally honest, with himself and with Jamie (if briefly).

I mean, Jamie taught Roy to ride a bike "for grandad!" but that wasn't enough, he still apologized for being a dick when he made fun of him. Our boy has become so emotionally mature 😭 (ep 12 doesn't exist, thank you very much)

These bitches get each other in a way no other character does. Even Keeley, as much as the fandom likes to ignore all her flaws and paint her as perfect, had serious communication issues with Roy, where she did not respect his privacy (airing dirty laundry in front of his literal boss and colleagues), and pushed him to talk when it came to something very delicate (the funeral and death in general). And Roy was the one to apologize, which made me very upset (particularly in the first instance).

I honestly can't see something like that happening with Roy and Jamie.

Fingers crossed for a spinoff, but even if it never becomes a canon romantic ship, Roy & Jamie would work extremely well in a Ted & Beard dynamic.

They just belong with each other.

(again, ep 12 where Beard leaves Ted's side and Ted doesn't even attend Beard's wedding doesn't exist ☺)

you're sooo correct. Jamie and Roy innately understand one another <3 Amsterdam is the perfect example of this because Jamie absolutely knows Roy is using him to air out his negative emotions, but Roy also knows Jamie's hyper-positivity is masking something else. They both have the right read on one another there, I think, and they both have the patience to draw the other out until they're ready to talk!

And the scene where they finally open up to one another is just soooo good from start to finish. Like, not only does Roy handle Jamie's tragic backstory reveal perfectly (i cannot say that enough, because god he does a really great job there), but then he finally opens up about what's bothering him, too! And I think because we focus so much on how majorly vulnerable it was of Jamie to tell Roy his red light district story, we don't ever talk enough about how majorly vulnerable Roy let himself be afterwards, too. Like, I think after Jamie dropped something so traumatic, it would have been particularly easy for Roy to have dismissed his own stuff as like, 'well I can't hardly say what's bothering me is just that the ex I broke up with has moved on and it's upsetting me. Not after he just dropped that, can I?' Like, especially given Roy's personality, I think his first instinct there was probably to minimize his own feelings and to dismiss his problems with Keeley as being so trivial and irrelevant compared to Jamie's Real Problems, and then to not talk about it at all and quietly simmer. So it's a true sign of just how much he trusts Jamie (as well as feels bad for using him as his punching bag all day) that he doesn't do any of that but instead properly opens up to him for the first time. And then Jamie realizes how monumental that is right away, and he's not dismissive either!!

Another scene I've been thinking about is the one where Jamie tells Phoebe that Isaac is his best friend and not Roy. Because like, on the one hand it's obviously mostly playful ribbing meant to rile up Roy (because Roy is quite obviously his actual best friend at that point). But I think there's also that underlying understanding from Jamie that Roy struggles with admitting how much he cares and loves people and he struggles to put a name to his feelings, etc. Jamie understands that, and he's okay with that, so I think his joke there is also his way of saying like, it's okay if you can't label this quite yet, whatever's between us - best friends or something else - it's okay if you're not ready for that. It's his way of giving Roy an out if he needs it. (this could also be bogus and me reading too much into everything lmao but like!!! something to consider)

Everything to me <33

[buck-yyyy]

what do you think of boris’ sexuality? do you think he externalizes his internalized homophobia? this is a goldfinch ask !!

ohhhhh this is interesting. so sorry for answering this a couple weeks late!!

first of all—boris is 100% bisexual. he absolutely expresses attraction to both men and women throughout the book, that boy is BI.

the second part is wayyy harder. i think that it's really difficult to tell from what we know of him—since the book is obviously from theo's perspective, we can't quite get inside his head the same way we can with theo, so i'm just gonna list out some examples of his,,, varying queerness tolerance level, i guess lmao.

he's casual about suggesting that hobie may be gay, and has a very calm reaction compared to theo's immediate discomfort.

similar to theo, as a teenager, he never brings up the times they've had sex.

he's flippant about mentioning that theo is "the only boy [he's] ever been in bed with", and brushes it off as "[they] both needed girls".

that's.... it, i think. at least off the top of my head. so my conclusion, to be honest, isn't based on a whole lot of proof, as opposed simply to drawing from other aspects of his character.

from his casual usage of the N-word after spending time with kotku, who was "cool"; his conversion to islam, not because he believed in allah, but because the muslim people around him were good to him; and finally, his attempt to pretend to be jewish in order to work for mr. silver, it's really easy to point out that boris conforms to various environments with ease, something that he's had to be able to do because of how much he's moved around. he's not doing these things because of personal beliefs, ideas, or opinions, he's doing them because he's trying to blend in, or in some cases, seem "cool", whether it's intentional or not (depends on the situation). that doesn't mean that his actions are automatically morally good or even neutral, but it gives us an understanding of why he is the way he is, and why he's so different depending on where he is and what point of his life he's at.

i think from that, it would be easy to argue that perhaps boris himself has no personal issue with gay people, but he would most certainly display the same homophobia that was so typical at the time it was written: ie. he would be casual about someone he knows being gay, but he's also definitely described things as gay, or said the word faggot in a derogatory context.

i'm not entirely sure how to relate all of that back to his internalized homophobia, simply because we don't get to see what that's like for him, or if that's even a thought on his mind. i think i'd argue that, what with everything else that's happened/currently happening in his life, he doesn't care all that much. i doubt he would ever call himself bisexual, or pansexual, or any of that; we can assign those words to him because he's a book character, but it's also important to recognize that those weren't words he would've grown up using, and that would likely stick with him in ways that some younger people would interpret as queerphobic. he's simply boris, and if boris wants to kiss a man then boris wants to kiss a man and that's all the thought he'd devote to it.

so yeah. i suppose i believe that he's homophobic, but not because he hates gay people or himself for being gay. i also think that he would not devote any particularly meaningful amount of time to dissecting who he is in regards to his sexuality, simply because it's never been a particularly important part of his life or survival.

[mrmcdonut]

OOC rant ahead

Being in "love" for me is so weird. One moment I'm like, "Oh, they're cute, I should ask them out" and the next day I go "I want to talk to them, but I'm scared to do it, so I guess you don't like anyone for a whole week, lmao."

I've had this one crush on this one dude (I use dude gender neutrally, hush), and I've been slowly working up the courage to talk to them. It went from "Weird Italian letters, saying I like you, but I don't talk to you," to "Happy birth. Have another bracelet!" to "I think you're very sweet, so I'm gonna give you candy every day, as much as possible, and add another word the vocabulary you limitedly know me by."

It went from, extended rants in italian about me explaining my sexuality to them, to distancing myself because self esteem, and then giving gifts randomly, to you know what? candy. "Hiii"

Which is weird, because my love languages are quality time and physical touch. I never liked receiving gifts from people because I didn't want them to waste their money on me, so I started telling people to just make me stuff out of stuff they already had. But as soon as I gave them a gift, I found it as a way to slowly work up the courage to actually talk to them.

Btw, it really doesn't help that you apologize for every small little misfortunate thing to happen to you, because you're a naturally clumsy goober man, who got yelled at for trying to be nice in a family full of dense idiots, who think that you shouldn't wash your hands after using the bathroom. At. All. Even before and during cooking (Except my mom and stepdad), which is why I am the one usually cooking because, hell no, I do not want to get sick by your unhealthy life stylistic choices, you dense radioactive nimrods. I feel like the notable outlier in my family. I'm trying to get a job, I'm working to help the environment and clean up my school, all while balancing FFA and trying to learn about tree diseases, tree equipment, and how to identify trees down to the specific genus, for a CDE.

Yes I am a nerd, so what.

Anyways, the musical is going well btw, here's a quick excerpt from the character "Lora" and is from her monologue.

"I want to be able to express myself in ways that no one can understand, and watch as the world tries to interpret my drawing of a small, silly looking polar bear holding a balloon that says “Happy Birthday,” on it, on top of the most beautiful mushroom they’ve ever seen. I want my clothes to be soaked in the colors of the rainbow, and drain out onto the canvas that is my world." -Loralie Robins, excerpt from Finally, The Future. A musical by Jackson E. Blackburn.

Yes, I put my entire theaterussy into this.

[blujaishah]

hi! How’s it going?

This is a good opportunity to explain why I haven't been posting art dont read any of it if u dont want to it's more for me

Aside from normal academic stuff it's mostly because my school's literary magazine is allowing submissions and I really want to get my art in it (you're a published artist/author if you get in it)

Thing is last year I didn't get my art in it (I made a self portrait titled 'hearts' that I stupidly never took a picture of because I never got it back) but they had too many art submissions and not enough literary submissions so most of the art got cut from the magazine

So I think you can tell that I was pissy bc I really need to get my art in this thing

So now I have been focusing a lot on my submission because I'm writing something with it, it's gonna look like a children's picture book with multiple drawings and a story

I might post it here if it doesn't end up being too personal but prob not

It's taking me a while because one i want it to look good and two i want it to look painted and that isn't my normal style and three because I am not a writer

Another reason as to why I'm not posting is because I'm looking for jobs because ur girl does not have money and that's something I wanna prioritize

And the last reason is less fun and something that I genuinely need to type out and admit in writing is that my parents are absolute batshit crazy and I want nothing more than to complete my high school credits and leave my home town

My sister didn't mind leaving like I want to in fact she wanted to get as far away from us (specifically my dad) as possible but she has no problem having me with her and husband because they've somewhat settled down

She's traveled the world and she's pretty cool, she's at a very prestigious university, she went to Thailand in high school, she's been to Jordan, Lebanon, and a couple years ago she went to Palestine for a year and became a high school teacher there she's awesome

It would be amazing to go to college where she is (i'm in a position financially and academically where going out of state for college is very possible ESPECIALLY where she is) and also to get to know her husband more would be great cause we barely got to know each other when he was here

My brother on the other hand didn't want to leave our mom but really needed to get out of the house because of our dad so now he's in this really awkward position where he lives in an apartment literally a 15 minutes walk from our house and by extension his very comfortable bedroom, and also he comes home every night to see our mom

It absolutely sucks and I very much want to leave my home even though I say what my parents want me to say I'll do after high school when I'm around them

My dad is demented and I have no problem admitting that he's never abused me physically but he has verbally quite a few times and hinted at physical abuse and it gets to me a lot

mostly it's about academics which he is quite literally insane for thinking I don't do well academically

There's a lot of stuff with him that's god awful and i wont get into it because that's what I do in a therapeutic environment which I cant get without being gaslit by my family so yeah

I can't draw anything except what I have to with all this it's a lot to be thinking about because I'm still just a kid and idk i can't handle it maturely so I have to write about it on tumblr lmao

[ryker-writes]

Hello Ryker! Congratulations on 1.2k! This is the first time anon request in anything ever. So I'm sorry if I did this incorrectly and if I added too much information 🙏 But I would like you to matchmake my oc!

Physical appearance : 168 cm (as tall as Kalim), they have tan skin, shot black messy hair, black almond eyes, tooth gap, wears oversized teal jacket over their uniform, a scar near the corner of their right eye, wears oversized grey jacket, also they have eyebags and hooked nose

Likes :

They love getting up early so they could go on a morning run in the open field for fresh air while also foraging through the woods nearby Ramshackle, making new recipes out of the ingredients they find and surprisingly it's good ( their specialty is frying up chicken of the woods mushroom ). Adding on they love gathering trinkets and any unused materials to make new pieces of art!

And they also love musicals. They are a huge musical nerd and memorized almost every line and act. Sometimes unconsciously singing and dancing around the room acting like they are one of the musical cast. But other than musicals, they are a big nerd for history and math equally and actually enjoys solving math problems for fun (of course when there is no time limit and they could actually take their time to solve it). They like teaching/helping younger kids or classmates with subjects they are still confused about!

Dislikes :

They hate seeing others being mistreated despite not knowing them personally. They won't hesitate to confront the mistreatment and doesn't care if it would potentially cause a physical fight. Hates dark cramped places ( they have claustrophobia ). Despite loving all creatures (even insects, they wouldn't even hurt a fly or even a cockroach) they despise leeches.

Hobbies :

They have a lot of hobbies, tend picking up new stuff to indulge to when they got bored with the usuals. But their main is still drawing (whether it'd be digital or painting on the canvas), singing, playing the piano (or sometimes guitar or flute too), and running.

More info :

They are a yuu. They are a model student back in their world despite not being in the top 10 ranks. Bad at forming the right words to say so they tend to show it through their actions. Honest to fault. Still looks calm and collected when faced with a crisis. They will find new ways to save or earn money. Street smart and very independent. Despite their weak physique, they can endure any harsh environment or training. Addicted to caffeine and sleep deprived please someone tell them to sleep

Love language :

Physical affection and acts of service

They don't have any preferences so just go wild >:D

Thank you so much anon! I know you meant actual leeches for the dislikes but my brain automatically read it as the tweels lmao

"Welcome in dear anon! I'm happy to deliver your match for you. I need you to hear me out, but I got a strong feeling for this one.

Ever since I started reading it just screamed Jack as a good match."

tall and smol

the two of them definitely go on runs together at real early hours of the morning

I see Jack wanting to go foraging with them and adding to the little trinket collection

Jack isn't much of a musical person himself, but he loves to watch and listen to them sing and dance

it's like something magical to him that he could just sit there and watch all day

whenever he sees them helping teach others and kids he falls more in love

Jack is great with kids and will help them any way he can

they dislike the same things when it comes to how people treat others!

he is also so careful about making sure they're never in a dark cramped space

and if they somehow end up in one, Jack will be there to help and support them any way he can

I said it already but Jack loves just watching them do their hobbies like drawing or singing

he really loves how different they guys are and how both of them go well together despite having different hobbies and everything

Jack loves their honesty and the two of them communicate very well

both of them place a higher value in actions over words and struggle to form words

light physical affection and acts of service all the way!

Jack is such an acts of service boy both giving and receiving

both of them are honestly so cute in the mental image I have and honestly couple goals

he only chooses one partner for life so I hope they go well together!

[seerofmike]

ask meme: 5, 6, 7, 13, 14, 20

5. Share one of your strengths.

everyone has always told me that i write invidiual character voices very well. i try to make narration and dialogue distinct and i think i do a great job!

my vantage is completely different from my crypto who is completely different from my octane, and on the surface octane may look like he'd share the same narrative voice as leo from rise but my leo rise voice is different from octane's and ohg i just love writing how different characters would describe things or percieve situations.

i do want to give a special shout out to my vantage from my mad science fic. i don't care for her character that much but writing her was so fun and judging by the reception i got from it when posted people really enjoyed her character voice too.

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

scene-setting, environmental description, action. god this problem plagues me when reading, writing, AND drawing. i simply cannot picture where characters are or what they're doing or how they're having this conversation, sitting down or standing up. in my brain, everything takes place with characters standing around in a white void until something happens in the environment. visually it looks like that one scene in coraline. you know the one

here's how my fic writing process goes. dialogue, emotion and feelings and shit, basic plot action like going to the next necessary location, or maybe a super important event, or the set-up and punchline to a non-verbal joke. then i go back and add like 1k-2k words of just...setting. description. action. response. reaction. physical action. THEN i go over it again for like actual editing and proofreading

i can give you an example right now of what i mean

everything highlighted here was not what was originally written and was added later so the scene would be more than just "he said/he said" and maybe it's because i'm the one who wrote it but like...you can tell it was tacked on.

i'm trying to get better at this and started drawing a storyboard for my current rottmnt fic because that one relies on action more than introspection and dialogue, but if u ever ask me to describe a location...girl i would need 30 minutes to think about it

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

umm...this one is kind of hard actually i don't really remember specific pieces of prose i write outside of dialogue!! if i had to pick it would be maybe this specific bit from chapter five of my simulacrum Crypto AU, Four Oh Three:

this is way more than a snippet lmao but writing this entire chapter was super satisfying with everything i'd set up so far. crypto not knowing if he actually felt attraction to octane or if his feelings were just the lingering result of his programming, trying to figure out what he could feel, IF he could feel, octane touching him and inviting him to touch him in turn, all the conflicting emotions that came with that.

i really felt at the time that it all really came together in a very drawn-out but deserved scene of intimacy (nearly the whole chapter?) after the result of like uhhh 30,000+ words of tension that i don't think i've ever really written before or since. i usually like to get straight into the dick in hole action lmfao but i was very satisfied and proud of myself for this one

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

so this isn't even writing advice it's programming advice LOL but several years ago i heard of rubber duck debugging in which programmers tell a rubber duck their code line by line until they realize what's causing them a problem. and ever since, for lengthy fics or things outside my comfort zone, i've described overarching plot details and invidiual chapters to either stuffed animals or my cat and if it sounds stupid being said out-loud then i usually decide it'd be stupid and nonsensical in a fic too and i change it up LOL

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

controversial opinion maybe but i think telling people that every scene in a book should only serve the narrative/plot is STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!! books aren't movies, you don't have a runtime limit!!! i think you lose out on so much character and introspection and world-building by forcing every scene in your book to only be plot-relevant stuff. sometimes characters interacting with each other and doimg stuff in their world is just fun or interesting and that's all it has to be

20.) Describe your perfect writing conditions.

i have my headphones plugged in and am listening to my music. the chair is comfy and i can lean back but my laptop is on a solid surface. i am supplied endlessly with coffee and fizzy drinks. all is well

[cinnamonest]

Zhongli (Genshin Impact) - Yandere Profile

This man's voice has a POWER over me I SWEAR

tws: yandere, mentions of n/sfw

tws (under the cut): very ddlg-esque vibes, sorta? infantilization, noncon

I'm sorry I get such strong daddy vibes it unintentionally went in this direction, hope that isn't too bad lmao

I’m working on all the prompts I’ve gotten in! I’ve gotten a few so I’ll be working on those.

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What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

He's one that might be likely to misunderstand his feelings at first, think that he sees himself as a mentor or maybe even an authority figure, someone to guide you and teach you and serve as a dependable partner to your travels. As time goes on, and he begins to recognize how utterly flustered he gets around you, he's forced to acknowledge the actual feelings he has.

While some yanderes with a slight aloofness or pride to them get worse when in love, such as Childe or Kaeya, his drops completely. You bring out a softer side of him, really, one that's protective and tender and loving, so very loving, wanting to be around you, with you. He's certainly an obsessive, protective type, ultimately allowing his protective nature to get the better of him as he demands to know everything you've done, account for your location at every moment, constantly keep track of your habits, inquire about very personal details of your life. If he realizes you're bothered by it, he might draw back a bit, but he's convinced that that's just your perception, that it's necessary, truly, and not at all unusual.

Pet names. Particularly fond of love, darling, and angel. Sweet things that represent what you mean to him -- something precious, something to represent his adoration and idolization.

The primary form of delusion comes from a perception of you. He's obsessive, and idolizes you to an extent. He perceives you as pure, innocent, angelic. The thing is, this applies regardless of whether or not you actually are. If you are, it will solidify the idea, but even if you're not, he will find a way to see you so, anyway. No matter how wise you are, no, you're naive. No matter how capable you are, no, you're weak and fragile. No matter how experienced you may be, no, you're pure. He can always keep this delusion running by bringing into account age and comparison - you'll never be as strong as him, so you might as well be frail and weak. You'll never have lived as long as him, so really, do you think there's that much difference between you and a child, when compared to someone like himself?

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

Actually highly likely, and pretty quickly. As he observes you, it becomes very clear to him how very fragile you are, how naive you are, you are quite literally too pure, too angelic, to be living in this world with such beings as humans. Fragile, beautiful little things have a place where they belong - protected. Where do we put fragile, beautiful things? We put them behind glass, behind ropes, in pretty cages, in secluded rooms. It's only natural that you, too, need a similar environment.

He's one of the ones that will... Elegantly kidnap you, as odd as it sounds. He's not a brute that would do something horrendous like knocking you out or drugging you, no, he'll find an excuse for you to come to his abode, invite you in, and you'll walk in none the wiser. Only after your in, and the doors close, does he guide you to your new room, calmly explaining that he's come to the realization that you're too fragile to continue your journey, and ought to simply give up on your travels. He knows you'll be upset at first. Like a child being denied, you'll get pouty, moody, you might cry, you might lash out at him. It's predictable. He'll dry your eyes and calm you down, brushing off any harsh words you may have, holding your wrists in his hands when you try to push him away, softly reassuring you that it will all be alright, that you're safe now, and you'll learn to accept this with time.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

He would want something... elaborate. He's a man with taste for the most beautiful of things, including yourself, and he won't settle for something as simple as a chain or ropes. No, that would be too simple and brutish, and you, one of the finest things in his life, deserve something equally beautiful and delicate.

He's one of the ones that would go to a great deal of preparation for your arrival. He'd have a room prepared just for you, very ornate, beautifully tailored to you -- the walls your favorite color, the bed made of the same material as your old one, and the whole room completely filled with things you're certain you never even told him you liked. Clothes that fit perfectly to your body. It's frightening how perfect it is, because you know he had to go out of his way to acquire the information to achieve such perfection, but you have no idea how.

Everything about it elegant and detailed, right down to the series of ornate locks on the door. They're some of the sturdiest available, made with essentially unbreakable metal alloys and the most intricate lock systems to date. The windows don't open, and he'd certainly find some way to ensure escape through them isn't an option -- perhaps metal bars, perhaps an unbreakable glass substitute, perhaps merely locating your new home right on the edge of one of Liyue's most beautiful mountains, so that if you were to go out the window you'd plummet to the earth below. He's a bit delusional, but he's not stupid, and he will think through every possibility. Every little detail he needs to keep you safe and confined.

He's certain that, perfect as it is, this room is all you will ever need to be happy. Should you desire anything else, he can bring it to you. You'll never have to leave.

So it goes without saying that it would be exceptionally difficult to escape him. You'd have to find a way through the locks, for which your best bet would be to get some hair pins or tiny writing utensils. Even if you managed it, though, which would frankly be a very difficult feat, you'll have to deal with staying free. Zhongli has ties to the people of Liyue as a whole, and needless to say, he has eyes everywhere. You can't risk appearing in the harbor area, there will be far too many people who would immediately report you, and you'd just be walking right to him anyhow. The surrounding areas also have ties to him, so you'd want to try and reach Mondstadt, as far as it is, which is a difficult travel by foot all alone. You won't get far. He's faster, he's wiser, and he will find you long before you could ever hope to make it there.

However, he's not quite as angry as some yanderes would be about it. He doesn't take your escape personally, no, he blames himself, only calculating his own mistakes as to how it happened. He sees you as something like... a little runaway pet, so naive and dull that you don't know any better than to go wandering off. Or perhaps like a child, just sheepishly curious and wanting to explore, not knowing the dangers of the world. Or, perhaps...

"I haven't been giving you enough attention, have I? That's why you pulled this little act of rebellion... you're hurt by my negligence and wanted to be reassured of my care for you. I'm so sorry... I understand now, love. This was my fault. I've been so caught up with work... I'll delegate some tasks to my workers, and I'll be able to spend more time with you from now on, alright? Don't worry, I'm not angry, I'll take full responsibility. I'll be sure to make it up to you... now, let's go home."

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

Much like Childe or Venti or anyone who has been around as long as he has, you really don't stand a chance. He's an incredibly perceptive man. There's not much to say on the matter, as any attempts will be quickly shut down.

He'd find it amusing, really. Like a child trying to lie, but the evidence is all over their face and hands - it's that obvious to him. It's cute enough that he almost hates having to discipline you for it, but, you have to learn.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He wants his little angel to be safe - and unfortunately, you, being so naive and empty headed, don't always know what's best for you. He knows rules can be hard to follow perfectly, but they're there to keep you safe.

Extremely strict, will want to monitor every moment of your life, every little movement you take, and will insist on watching over you in every task. He'll pick out everything you wear, everything you eat.

Occasionally, if you ask very sweetly, he may take you out for walks in Liyue. Honestly, he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy taking you to what he knows are the finest locations, shops with the highest level of craftsmanship, restaurants with a high price tag and reputable food. He enjoys showing off his refined tastes and discerning selective abilities. And honestly? There's a certain... Powerful feeling to knowing you're made aware of the costs when he makes high purchases in front of you... even if you don't realize he's not always actually the one paying for it, or that he forgot mora again but promises the owner to pay later - but he'll make sure you don't know that. You hear the numbers, and your eyebrows raise, your eyes widen. You'd nearly faint if that total was on your responsibility, and he knows that. Which is why he'll simply smile at you, and tell you you're worth every last Mora. He'll buy you nearly anything you may desire. It seems like leniency, but in reality, it's his subtle way of locking control and dependency over you, making you respect him, making you love him.

"Don't worry, love. It's not a lot... Not to me, at least. Even if it were, my angel only deserves the best, no?"

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Oh dear. Again, he's very strict, and wants to monitor everything you do, every little aspect of your life. He decides what you eat, portioning your meals to make sure you're eating enough, he worries about you going hungry during your travels, but luckily you'll never have to worry about that again. If you have a sweet tooth, he'll sigh and worry about your teeth and health, but he'll make sure to account for a little bit of sugar in your day, and will even pick up little treats from some of the most reputable places in Liyue.

He picks out clothes for you with each day. They're not... Normal clothes, per se. Certainly not what you'd normally wear on your travels. And it's not like anyone will see you except him - which is exactly why you'll have clothes he would never want anyone else to see you in. Frilly, lacey things, somehow both highly sexualized but also incredibly infantile, soft pinks, baby blues, gentle off-whites. They accentuate the curves of your body so perfectly, while just barely letting him see the parts of you normally kept hidden.

You'll have a schedule - a bath time, a bedtime, a wake-up time. He's weak to your requests, though, and may let you stay up a little late every now and then, or sleep in just a bit, if you make that soft pouting face and beg. He'll insist on bathing you, dressing you, so that you don't have to - and can't even if you wanted to - lift a finger even to wash yourself or put your clothes on.

He has a set of rules for you, very simple ones he hopes you can easily follow. No trying to leave. No doing anything dangerous. No talking to strangers when you go out. You must hold his hand whenever you're walking together, don't go wandering off.

He'll feel ashamed of the thought for a while, but eventually he'll cave and give into the desire, no, the security precaution, of a nice little collar for you. It's not too embarrassing, no, he went out of his way to find one that was delicate, almost like a necklace, made with fine materials, the engraving only visible up close. If you look closely, though, it clearly bears his name.

Breaking the rules is expected, he anticipates it. You're not the brightest, he might even view it as a mistake. A benefit is that you can easily pass it off as simply forgotten, or an accident. Hence, he's not too harsh - normally. He'll sigh, forgive you, and pat your head, contemplating how to prevent your access in the future.

Perhaps you wriggled out of his hand and ran off while walking? You were just excited, distracted, like a child. He might be able to procure a small leash, one that wouldn't be immediately obvious or embarrassing, to attach to your collar. Perhaps some cuff-like links to latch your arm to his.

You forgot the rule about not handling the kitchen knives and cut yourself? He'll have to get some kind of lock and simply keep them safely away from you. No big deal. Any measures are worth your safety.

If you push the limits, or have a defiant attitude, he might reach the point of punishment. As for not-unwholesome things, this would usually include taking away privileges, such as walks or sweets, but overall, punishment will mostly come in more impure forms.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Not too much to say here - he has connections. He doesn't need to dirty his own hands. For all his supposed humility, if he truly dislikes someone, they're no more significant than an insect to him. He has no reservations about ridding the world of people who, in his mind, are obviously trying to deceive you, abuse you, corrupt you.

Thankfully, he is very capable of keeping a neutral face, even when he feels laughter building up. It would probably look strange if he were smiling over the newest body to come into his parlor.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

It's a slow buildup. He views restraint as a virtue, and looks down upon those who lack control over their own tempers. He's a man who strives to meet his own standards of character, and that very much applies to self control and ability to maintain a controlled demeanor, even when he feels a bit of frustration due to you being intentionally and deliberately defiant.

It's his responsibility to be a good role model for you and make sure you understand how to behave. However, in the end, he's very keen on properness and rules. If you have a tendency towards brattiness and pushing your limits, you may drive him to a boiling point.

However, even when expressing his anger, he's remarkably controlled. It's very mature, really. Nonetheless, he will have you shivering and tearful with his voice alone, booming with that depth that reverberates off the walls, that vibrates against your very core. His true anger is one that can strike fear even in the most courageous individuals - he's terrifying when he wants to be, fierce and intimidating, a sort of power just eminates from him.

Nonetheless, it's quick, he calms down very quickly, wipes the tears from your eyes, and sighs.

"I do hate having to be firm with you... but I can't have you thinking you can just act however you want. You understand that, don't you?"

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Both? It's difficult to describe. You're an angel to him. You're the finest work of art, the most intricate creation, the kind of person whose body and likeness deserves to be preserved in art and tradition, one of those women who should be renowned for beauty even centuries long after you're gone from the earth. It's almost goddess-like. At the same time, there's a beautiful, tragic duality to your essence, he thinks. A fragility and a dependency that leaves you in need, but an inherent status of perfection that makes you deserve the utmost perfect of care. You need to be coddled, cared for, protected, but you deserve it. Like a deity incarnated into a mere fragile human form, a queen that needs support to retain her grace.

Unlike some, he doesn't view his care and protection as some kind of favor that should be repaid with your gratitude, no, really, he is grateful that he is the one who is even deserving of being your caretaker, your provider, your lover.

Even if he is the one who determined that he deserves that role.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

He's convinced that he can show you that he is your protector, your lover, that it's fate itself that has locked you together, not just his own will.

And he is, above all else, patient. One of the most patient you could encounter. You think a year is a long time? It's nothing to him. A century for you? More than a lifetime. For him? Nothing. He can and will wait, as long as it takes, and he will never falter in his continual care. He'll remind you frequently, he'll shower you in affection, but if you don't return it? It's not that bad. He has all the time in the world to fix you.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Moraless Sugar daddy

But in all seriousness, he is definitely of the gift-giving love language. He sees beautiful things, and beautiful things make him think of you! It's sweet, he thinks. So many little things he sees throughout his day make him think of you, and he has to have all of them, see your face when he gives them to you. He likes making you happy, for one, but he'd be lying if he said there wasn't a sort of satisfactory pride he gets from the power dynamic of it all. He wants to be the sole source of provision in your life, he wants your dependency.

If we're talking prior to the events of the game, it will be even more extreme. He treats it like it's truly nothing, throwing around massive purchases, seemingly as if he's not thinking about it at all. But he is - rest assured, he's taking it into consideration, at least, that is, how it will affect your attitude and perception of him.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

On the reserved side. He'd never conduct himself improperly in public, of course. It's out of the question. He cares about proper behavior and public image, and he'd never behave in a vulgar manner.

Even in private, he's certainly one of the ones that struggles with a certain guilt. To some degree, he would feel like you're so innocent and pure that he doesn't want to corrupt you. He goes through stages. First, he'll lie to himself, telling himself that the feelings he has for you are simply protective, platonic, a natural sense of responsibility for you. That becomes more and more difficult to convince himself of, the more excited he becomes around you, the more he finds his eyes drawn to whatever bits of skin are exposed on your body, finding himself drifting off to impure thoughts, trying to push them away. 

Second, once he's forced to acknowledge the true nature of these feelings, he'll simply practice restraint, something he's rather good at in this area. He tries, he really does. He tells himself he can't do something so impure, that it would violate you, that he should be ashamed of himself for it. It becomes more and more and more difficult to restrain himself with time, the feelings rising and the thoughts become more difficult to push away, eventually entertaining the fantasies in his head in an attempt to rid himself of the urge in real life. It doesn't work, no, it only makes the urges worse, and he can't be around you without his body nearly commanding him to do something. And finally, he'll take a different stance entirely, telling himself that, no, it's not going to corrupt you, rather, it's taking care of you. If he really wants to love you, really wants to care for all of your needs, then surely that would include your physical needs, and therefore, really, it would be wrong of him not to help you.

As that shift in viewpoints goes on, he'll become more and more bold, hands lingering just a little longer, face coming just a little closer. It's a slow build of tension, just waiting to boil over. 

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

He understands you're nervous. Again, no matter how experienced you are, somehow in his head he makes it out to be insignificant. Even if you've had other relationships, he convinces himself - and tries to convince you - that they were inadequate, they didn't care about you, not like he does. And he'll treat it as that -- any resistance you put up is nervousness, nothing more, nothing less. He'll reassure you a million times that you won't feel pain, that he'll be gentle, that you'll feel good, even if his size and strength frankly is rather intimidating regardless of experience. He'll keep cooing in your ear, softly whispering reassurance, softly running hands over your skin, holding you in place as the last inch stretches you apart. 

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Infantilization

Again, no matter how smart, experienced, and capable you may be, you're none of those things to him. You're a fragile, little thing. He has to take care of you at all times. It may not be evident at first, and he himself likely doesn't fully realize it, but there is something highly sexual to this for him. Caring for you puts him in a position of dominance, control. It gives him access to your privacy, dressing you up, fingers running over your skin, bathing you, watching your skin glisten. He'll talk to you in this way, too, often softly, remarking every little way in which you need him, and even condescendingly so. He wants you to be his, not only in a sense of love, but of possession.

Oral

Primarily giving. Even on its own, he loves the taste, but the effect it has on you makes it that much better. He loves anything that forces you to depend on him entirely for pleasure, that puts you at his mercy. And he'll be torturous about it too, restraining your arms and legs so you can't control anything, hold your hips down so you can't roll into him, so that only he can determine exactly how much pressure and speed you get. And he won't rush it, no, he'll go so slowly it's torturous, and telling you very simply that if you want any more, you'll have to beg.

Edging

For a variety of reasons. The power trip is as exhilarating as it is pleasurable, but he also loves watching your body writhe. Each little muscle that moves under the flesh when your arms strain against his hand holding your wrists together, the convulsing of your stomach muscles, the way your toes curl and legs spasm and the sweet little whimpers you make when he draws back just short of your high. He's mastered watching your reactions, knowing exactly when to stop, even if you try to mask it. He'll want you to tell him, though, nonetheless, tell him when you're close, if for nothing else but the sense of you obeying his commands.

Collaring

Similarly to infantilization, it gives him something of a sense of control, of possession. He loves seeing his name engraved on it, marking the whole of your being with his ownership. In his somewhat rare moments of roughness, he'll want to pull on it, use it to draw you towards him, in a moment of your defiance, in particular. If you're being mouthy, whiny, disobedient, and you finally make him snap, especially if you try to walk away from him, he'll yank you back with force, pulling you close to him, and when the force of it shuts you up, changes your demeanor, forces you to acknowledge your submission - the satisfaction he'll get from that is incomparable.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

As much as he likes the idea, to him, you're already like a child, naive and fragile. Could your body even handle a pregnancy, a birth? He'd likely try to avoid it, but in the end, if it happened by accident anyway, rest assured you'd be getting the best care of any woman to ever be pregnant in Teyvat, and he'd do everything in his power to ensure you were always comfortable, taking his caretaking to another level, almost never even letting you get up, insisting you stay still and calm and needy.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

He'd be one to pull the "it doesn't hurt you as much as it does me" line, but really, even if he refuses to admit it to his own self, having you bent over his lap is just as much for his own enjoyment as it is a disciplinary measure. It's more humiliating than it is painful -- he'd hold back, afraid of hurting you with his strength, but taking in every little flinch and whimper you make as he brings his hand down on your ass, keeping your head pressed down, kneading at the flesh. He'd insist it's the most effective punishment measure, but you can feel the hard-on digging into your stomach. The worse the behavior, the worse the beating, but every time, after it's over, he'll hold you upright, wiping the tears from your eyes and asking you if you learned you lesson, if you intend to do it again, and smiling when you insist you won't.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Your skin. It's beautiful, and he loves the way that light from the moon and sun look on your naked form. He loves the way your skin feels, soft and delicate, smooth, so paper thin and fragile, and so, so deliciously prone to showing marks from the slightest of harm - a simple smack can make the plump flesh darkened and reddened, the lightest suckling will leave beautiful hickeys all down your neck and chest. There are so many ways to mark his property, to stake a visible claim all over you, it's irresistible.

He also will go out of his way, when picking out all the things he wants you to wear, to find colors that best go with your skin tone, in a contrasting sense - particularly lacey, sheer things that contrast very well, so he can see your soft flesh perfectly defined against the little lace patterns.

[partyinthemysterymachine]

Yammer about Apartment AU

love ur thirst for bloodshed

i have to give credit where it's due and it's due to @twinvictim that Heya, Neighbor! and apt au even exists. apartment/house au is a pretty old concept that's been around for awhile and i love it every single time, and when oliver started telling me his HC i'm like hEH 👀👀👀👀👀👀 👁 ????

so thanks it's your fault, oliver

ok so Apartment AU!!!!

guys i'm not even gonna lie: Apartment AU has maybe 5 different iterations. yeah i'm serious. even actor au has maybe 4 different iterations because of the avenues i can choose, such as transing a character, or if Mary's still alive, how old Heather is (is she living at home with Harry still?), [seinfeld] what's the deal with Henry Townshend and Room 302?, how Douglas is introduced, etc.

bc in these apt au's, fitting in the events of sh1 - 3 is tricky IF they happen/ed at all (which..... they do and can...... amongst others). it's like a fuckin Choose Your Own Adventure and by golly are there are a lot of ways to do it LOL

i really REALLY need to put some focus into drawing environment bc i have GOT to draw Harry's apartment (and at least first floor of his house) bc GOSH i love how he decorated LMAO

i don't see his apartment unit's floor plan like Henry's. at all. like. open the door. living room area front and left. kitchen with a restaurant bar style counter/divide with cabinets right next to it. so when you walk in you have to walk a few steps further to actually see the kitchen bc there's a wall by the door that makes a corner to the right and leads down a hall. pretty much directly across from the kitchen is Heather's room, on the right. on the left, middle of the hall, the bathroom. straight ahead, Harry's bedroom. walk thru that door, and the master bath is also dead ahead.

it's not as big as it might sound lol bUT yeah. Murphy's apartment is sort of set up like that too, there are apts with 2b/2b. James (and/or Mary) are 1b/1b, with a floor plan more alike Henry's.

Murphy isn't even FROM here! he's a southern boy, born n' raised in Tennessee (and the only ten i see! ha ha h). truth be told, HN! Murphy was supposed to be southern but i forgot to mention that :3c kinda like how i forgot to mention his heterochromia eyes :3c oops! later time

but yeah Murphy is a southern boy and his accent is still there by gosh by golly!! he's ehhhhh 37 - 45, about 5'11 - 6'1". always the last to move in lmao. always meets Harry in the hall for the first time. because it's cute. (and honestly :| ok yeah horny on main, there's a version in which The Vibes are there and murphy goes to leave after saying their goodbyes and harry's like hey. wait. .. you wanna fuck? and murphy's like, actually? super glad you asked! and then they do) (not even a smidge sorry i love it. whores)

Alex's presence in apt AU is dependent very largely on Mary's presence, and also Travis's. this kid can't take care of himself - tho it's not like he needs a 24/7 caretaker or anything. he needs someone to drop in and check in on him and make sure he's getting what he needs and going to his appointments, and though other residents at SAH (Murphy, Harry, Eileen, Henry, Frank, Mary (if applicable)) check in on him (all in their own way ofc, everyone's got their different personalities and tactics after all), he's.. kind of a handful and honestly needs someone stable and constant enough to keep him rooted

see: Mary, Travis

now i've indulged in the "Mary's A Shepherd - Yeah, That Shepherd" theory for awhile but it was oliver that introduced the idea that mary and alex might be cousins/that mary and alex know each other/mary's taking care of the idiot in apt au. so i'm like ok. I Will Go With That! borrows ur hc

my Alex is in the range of 24 years old, idk i just struggle with seeing him much older?? asldkf i think i kinda know who to blame for that but Irregardless™️,

Alex tho lives alone. it's been hard for him to keep a job. Homecoming (except by my rules) technically happened already. i'm really not too familiar with Homecoming and Downpour which is why i steer a little further from Alex and Murphy, despite really liking them as characters, but i just don't fully grasp their stories yet. all in good time lmao it's taken me a bit to really dig my hands into SH4 soooooo dw they'll get theirs soon

love deep lore playthroughs tbh

but Alex got slapped with so much mental illness and PTSD has trouble taking his medication/staying rooted to realty/delusions/etc that it's pretty difficult for him to just.. exist sometimes. (he also goes through the "well i feel fine!! i don't need to take my medication anymore :)" moments and bro. bro that's why you feel better alex baby no) so i guess Mary is sort of his "handler". (something also present in HN! but not shown/explored quite yet.)

without Mary there, he's probably out trucking with Travis, or just is hanging out somewhere else entirely and just sitting this one out. i like Alex a lot and i want to develop him and i just dont feel right getting too much into who he is (and Murphy is he same here, again:) because i don't know their stories well enough.

one thing IS for certain tho!! is that Murphy/Harry/James are BESTIES :3

THEY ARE FRIENDS and have ZERO time for toxic masculinity. catch them cuddling on the couch. cuddling on the bed watching TV. playing with hair. holding hands. resting head on shoulder. fuck, even a cheek kiss now and then. your mileage may greatly vary. James is surprisingly less repressed than Murphy, but neither of them are too big on PDA. Harry, on the other hand, fucking loves PDA and is a handsy guy, though knows boundaries and limits and minds them very carefully.

it took some time for Murphy to warm up to everyone, and everyone to warm up to him, but esp those two and their dynamic. it's really just whatever now. Hot Guy Shit. casual intimacy with ur buds. James is actually kinda ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about a lot of things lmfao, Murphy's got the Manly Man stuff going on (understandable) and adjusting to James and Harry is kind of sneak-attack smack in the forehead with a 2x4. (also present in HN!) Harry and James have been friends for a very long time, and have..... Secrets.

it's actually rare that in an apt au that Harry and James are an Official Pair. instead, they DID try a romance after being friends for awhile, but their romantic chemistry is awfully faulty. their sexual chemistry? in-fucking(pun intended)-credible. besties with benefits. (yeah! even when Mary's present. now THAT'S a whole 'nother thing on its own,)

instead, James kinda. well it depends. there's a James/Murphy ending, James/Henry (yeah you read that right i LOVE that rarepair), James/Travis (HELLO AGAIN OLIVER I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN THIS), and maybe now that i think about it? sure. James/Alex. James might get around more than Harry does holy shit, whore

Harry usually gets paired off with Murphy or Douglas. there actually is a wild card version where Harry/Frank and whether or not James knows/is around to know about it is up in the air. CHOOSE UR OWN ADVENTURE, KIDS, U WIN/LOSE EVERY TIME

(bet on 00 i promise it's lucky)

>:3c

i have no idea where to put this it should be at the top but fuckit this whole thing is a fuckin mess this is my stream of consciousness, lads, hope ur gettin a kick outta it that's all i aim for

ANYWAY

i added a fifth floor to SAH. (somewhat non-HN! compliant) so it's like:

FIRST FLOOR: James/Mary (when applicable), Frank

SECOND FLOOR: Richard, Travis (when applicable)

THIRD FLOOR: Eileen, Henry

FOURTH FLOOR: Alex, Douglas (when applicable)

FIFTH FLOOR: Murphy, Harry/Heather

sorry this is all just mega disjointed good LUCK

James and Murphy work at the same auto shop. James helped Murph get the job. Murphy works some serious magic in car guts and James just loves how things work. neither are big car guys per-say; they're mechanical guys. they're the ones who take things apart to see how they work then put them back together (or don't, or try to, and get mad LOL). James actually is starting to move into detailing cars. figured out he's pretty good at it and he's meticulous and it's soothing lmao, disgusting as it is

i mean

c'mon guys

james has a toilet hand, of course he's gonna be stone cold against cockroach horror cars LOL

ah fuck that's a lot ok ok ok HOPE THIS SATISFIES bc as u know i can just bullshit all fuckin day pls n thank CHEERS 💖😭

[cosmictulips]

Some thoughts about my work and where I want to go lol

no need to keep reading if you aren't interested. I'll be covering some of the following :: 1. Pacs 2. Youtube 3. General tarot stuff I want to post on here 4. the witch stuff

I can always use a soundboard so if you like to give organization tips or just want to tell me whats cool and not, let me know. feel free to hop on in lol

so, points 1 and 3 lol. general tarot stuff and PACS. I feel like I've been spreading myself too thin and that's why I keep wearing myself out.

I'm really bad at sticking to stuff. well, it's a new thing that's come up lately because I've just been under a lot of emotional stress caused by the environments around me. and I'll admit I've been using a lot of the tarot stuff as escape coping mechanisms.

so I really want to make something concrete and try to stick with it. I think the only thing I've consistently been doing is duolingo and that's merely to refresh my french and figure out where I keep struggling.

something that really motivates me is like seeing a tracking list thingy played out. but i don't really have the time to sit here and like draw one out. well I guess I do lmao. I'm still trying to figure out a job situation.

and that's also been playing at me LOL. because Im like "oh well, when I get a job, I will have less time to do it" so I just don't do it.

so as with all these things I want to talk about, I think I just... need something to keep me accountable.

and this kind of bleeds into the rest of it. i kind of want to restart the youtube. restart/redo. I want deeper videos. I want to figure out PACS and post them on there. I want to spend more time making like deeper videos. so I'll probably have to start scripting because when I'm given free reigns, I kind of just blab.

I also need a better set up because it's been driving me mad. I'd also like a better schedule to work with but, I get what I get with that I suppose.

as for the witch stuff, I'm quite surprised by how many people have been liking it, reblogging it etc. I thought I'd lose followers for that but I've lost more with discourse than that. so I'll keep reblogging that.

and I also want to share some of my own stuff with you guys. just things I've read and things I want to discover.

tiktok. I want to work with tiktok more. I don't really like showing my face LOL. I've been having a TON of skin problems on there so I just can't post as much as I want to.

but what I can do is try to massive record or something. like intutitve messages for people, card of the days or something like that. and then save the astrology stuff for when I feel good about how my skin looks. I'm not insecure about my skin, I literally have skin issues and my face has been taking most of the beating LOL.

stress. woohoo.

uhm. so yea. Not too sure where I want to go. I need to repick up some healthier habits. but like, I am proud of the progress I've been making this far

I just wish I can find something that I can stick too. because pdfs and shit I just never look at. I could write it down but I end up losing it. my batteries for my camera don't really hold a charge anymore.

Idk. and I still need to get a job.

I know the pieces will come together eventually. I'm just trying to make something stick.

[fox-steward]

youre not even reading the asks are you? i literally said the WHY youre so hung up about.

the WHY is BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO. simple as that.

that's like saying "sure, a woman CAN wear trousers all the time but she shouldnt because it'll hurt all the women and girls who only wear skirts and dresses. shes" coping" with her obvious internalised misogyny by choosing to only wear trousers instead of skirts. maybe she thinks people will take her more seriously if ahe only wears trousers or she'll be exempt from misogyny because she only wears trousers. think of the women she's harming by not wearing a skirt and being a woman like them."

the same arguement can be made for women with tattoos or piercings or are masc in anyway. and in all ways, especially if at the same time youre claiming women can be women however they like, your argument is bs.

im sorry you feel the need to project your own insecurity by deciding you can speak for every woman on the planet, saying "other women and girls will be hurt if you be yourself and do what you individually want and find joy in for the betterment of your own life" but its really not that big a deal.

you cannot speak for all women because you are not all women. you are yourself and youre projecting that to make yourself feel better.

but no, people arent allowed to live their lives the way they want in a way that makes them happiest, right? they must have internalised misogyny like you did, right? a woman can be whatever she likes but only if she fits the societal standard by only calling herself one thing, right? jesus christ-

live how you want but don't tell anyone they have to live in a way that isnt true to them just because that way didn't work for you . what works for some in fulfillment wont work for others. transitioning or at the least using different signifiers for yourself didn't work for you, but it will and does work for others. so dont ever think you know anyone enough to dictate why they can't be themself in the way they choose.

i hope you learn to have some empathy and understanding for people who are not like you.

i read them and respond to them.

i am quite obviously not all women; i am incapable of disallowing women from doing what they want; criticism and analysis is not prohibition.

i’m not sure you understand what “hurt other women” means; i don’t mean hurt their feelings lmao. i don’t mean it makes them feel bad! i mean, as a class, when one women debases other women, women as a class (a sex class—the female sex being the only universal experience of all women) are harmed. it does damage to how people/society/even women ourselves think about women. the possibilities we imagine for ourselves, the expectations that are forced upon us and that we ourselves reinforce. when one woman transitions and pretends she’s a man, all the other women in her life lose an example of masculine womanhood and have in reaffirmed that masculine = man and that a woman couldn’t ever be so masculine or hate the gender roles imposed upon her so much, as that would make her a man. this harms women (as a class) and it harms the individual women around her and it harms the woman who transitions.

also, do you know what desire means? it means, basely, to want. so when i say “WHY does she want it?” “because she wants it.” isn’t a good fucking answer.

we ALL have internalized misogyny you absolute clown, because we all grow up steeped in external misogyny. you know how microplastics are found in all animals and tissues and shit because microplastics are everywhere in the environment? misogyny is the microplastics in this analogy.

your argument about women and pants and tattoos is totally disingenuous, btw. pronouns have one function: communicate accurately about an individual, and they are NECESSARILY tied to that individual’s sex because that’s part of what’s being described. so pants or tattoos would need to be inextricable from sex, they would need to be sex-reflexive, they would need to be meaningfully tied to signifying sex (not just culturally imbued with gender roles) in order to have the same “hurt other women” factor that eschewing female pronouns does.

when a female uses male pronouns she says, “i don’t want to be associated with women, i want people to think of me as a man”

when a female wears pants she says, “i’m wearing clothes.”

don’t be so willfully obtuse. this is not hard and i’m drawing it out for you in crayon.

i have deep empathy for other women and especially other women with dysphoria, that’s why i’m here engaging with people like you.

[ayyyez]

For the matchup! 💖

I'd like your take on how I'd work w/ both Ino and Neji (separate monogamous relationships). I'm bi and my pronouns are she/her and I adore both of the characters but in different ways (thou they are def both part of the Best Hair Club™). I like how confident, determined, fierce and absolutely ✨ gorgeous ✨ Ino is as well as how kind and thoughtful of a friend she is. I like how freakin' SASSY Neji can be as well as I admire his passion, dedication, quiet reserve, and his deep love for his friends and precious people.

When surrounded by people I don't know very well, I tend to be more reserved but when I'm with those I like/trust my absolute goal is to get them to smile and laugh. I see myself as confident and funny but I really do like making people feel good and laugh, especially if they're feeling down. I hate conflict and can't handle arguments, being in them or hearing them. I care about the environment and the importance of inclusivity of people and I get very angry at seeing people be harmed/judged due to their identity and/or appearance. I cry easily at sad/motivational scenes in film/video games lol and don't shy away from showing others my emotions.

Hobbies of mine include hanging w/ friends, I love any kind of shopping, drawing, playing video games, cosplaying, LOVE petting and being around animals, watching nature documentaries as well as documentaries on LGBTQ+ and womens history.

Going places in nice but I'm also 100% up for a date at home. Hand holding?? The best pass time!! I diss out compliments faster than sharp shooters of the wild west and I NEED people to know that I care for them and I won't accept them feeling bad about themselves around my watch lol. I'd rather have a good meal than a lavish gift. A negative about me is I tend to be a horrid procrastinator when it comes to my work (classes) and keep some things to myself instead of talking them over w/ someone to help me if I need it. I have very colorful dialogue, could be considered crude to some but I enjoy using curse words in fun situations AND I will quote memes or vines unironically to get a reaction out of those near me. Laughs and scowls of disapproval are both welcome in my book lol!

I see myself meshing w/ Ino very well and personally I think Neji in a relationship with something more open about their feelings would be a good parallel. Thank you! 💖

Shawnie you really went and picked some of my favs too ahh so good! <3

Neji

Okay okay the fact you want to make people laugh and care about inclusivity just wins him over already. Seeing all your emotions and big heart really be making his heart skip a beat and falling in love! AND HOLDING HIS HAND HAS THIS MAN WEAK OKAY! DO IT! HOLD IT!

Just sit there and tell him how handsome he is and how beautiful his hair is. He will be a blushing mess but you make him feel so loveD?? Home dates watching you play video games (gets offended when you try to date someone *cough* sebastian in stardew valley). It’s a game Neji lmao. No but really he enjoys watching you play and he is really bad at games but tries. 

Dies the first time you use crude language but he gets used to it. It’s just s ingrained in him not to but then one day he does and you have a “HA WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!” moment. Lavish this man with teasing and compliments all at once and he will explode with emotions. 

Learns meme and vine references because of you. Starts using them too and it makes everyone double take. You just smile and nod like its normal. He will try and scold you for procrastinating and be like “but you told me to yell at you if you don’t do the work but I can’t yell at you so please do the work.” A small pout and he concedes lol. 

I honestly see this man as a disaster bi so the two of you have a mutual understanding in all things hot mess. The best bi couple to every exist: Shawnie and Neji! 

WATCHING NATURE DOCUMENTARIES TOGETHER! Crying when the mama animal dies. Crying while watching sad movies. Neji panics like “What do I do!?” and you’re just like “it’s just so sad!” Just tries to hold you and make it better lmao. Watches the rest of the movie stressfully. 

Ino

Being bad bitches together! Seriously the two of you will be queens who can rule the world at the drop of the hate. But there’s also delicious hot mess potential lmao. Just complimenting he hair every day and her offering to do yours every day. Best girlfriends. 

Just being drawn to each others way of caring for others? She holds a torch for people like you who are caring about inclusivity, the environment and just genuinely wanting people to be happy? She is one the same wavelength so her sweet heart be pounding. 

Friends to Lovers trope = this matchup. 

Okay now when you play stardew with her she’s like “Romance her, oh and her AND ABIGAIL!” And you’re like “I CAN ONLY CHOOSE ONE I PICK HAYLEY!” Ino just goes ohhh “is it because shes like me ayyy you have a type!” it’s a fun mess. The two of you co-oping a farm together! 

She puts your drawings and doodles up on the wall, on the bathroom mirror and just everywhere she can see them. Wants you to draw the two of you so she can put it in her work diary. Oh and if you don’t like arguments she will step in for you! 

Watching LGBTQI+ documentaries together. Crying happy tears seeing the sweet couples who have been together for years. Watching sad movies on purpose and crying together. “WHy did we do this to ourselves???” 

A constant back and forth of compliments to each other. To the point they get really niche and obscure. But it makes it more fun. Laughs at your crude remarks. quoting vines together. Reenacting vines and tiktoks together. Just overall wholesome girlfriends tbh. 

[edengarden]

Hiiii!!! I'd like to request a regular matchup pls 😌 (idk of I can request one or two shows at at time so if it's possible can you do for both bnha & haikyuu? If not then just haikyuu is fine with me)

Appearance: I'm fem, black, 5'1, slightly athletic & curvy-ish figure (lol), short? (mid-neck) hair, straight, dark brown eyes, size 9 shoe size (idek why I'm adding this lmao)

Personality stuff: infp-t, Hufflepuff, Taurus sun, scorpio moon, sanguine, chaotic good, ambivert, a BuzzFeed quiz told me I'm a Pinto bean (do what you will with that info jdskdj)

Positive traits/qualities:

I'm super enthusiastic!! I love hyping people up and being energetic in general! I'm always down to try new things and have fun! If anyone is not feeling appreciated I'm ready to make sure they know that they're a queen/king and they're amazing!!!

I'm optimistic! I like to look at the brighter side of things and I always try my best to find a silver lining in any situation! Positive thinking helps me get through tough spots in my life because there's always hope for something better in the future!!

I'm observant!! I usually like to sit quietly and observe my surroundings. Especially in a new environment. Irl I like to read people's body language to asses their mood so ik how to approach them lol. I also do little things like remembering what they (friends/family) like to order at restaurants or something they pointed out at random that they liked. (Idk if I'm making sense lol)

Negative traits/flaws:

I'm annoying. Sometimes I just like being a little shit and cause mischief (being the youngest child does that to a person) but I think sometimes I'm too enthusiastic/energetic that it can be seen as obnoxious/annoying so I usually try and tone it down so I don't bother people...

I'm argumentative. When I have something to say I have to speak up. I try not to step on any toes but I can't help but argue with someone when our views on something clash. I like hearing different sides of debates though so I always give others a chance to talk. I don't go picking fights but if I feel like my opinion is being disregarded/not heard I will argue until it's known!!

I'm forgetful. Sure I'll remember random stuff like 'what my friend said in that one coffee shop last year' but important things like appointments? Birthdays? Assignment due dates? Idk her 😭 I try my best to write anything important down cause my memory is a selective sieve and it'll keep the most useless/random shit.

Hobbies: I love: Reading, writing, listening to music, learning languages, playing saxophone (I'm still learning tho lol), swimming, watching anime and cooking!

Music taste: any type of rock (punk rock, grunge, j-rock, metal), pop, kpop, RnB, jazz, dubstep, lofi hip hop, rap, bangers from: Elvis, the beach boys, Khalid, Ateez, Kendrick Lamar, p!atd, mcr, fallout boy, Nirvana, BTS, mxmtoon, Marianas trench, twenty one pilots, stray kids, Jay Park, crush, Dreamcatcher, Skrillex, MJ, troye sivan etc

Traits I look for: idk kind, funny/fun, loving/lovable, loyal (idk I ain't picky)

Traits I don't like: (nobody's perfect, just don't be a racist, xenophobic, sexist asshole lol)

Fun facts:

I love playing PC games! Might purchase a gaming pc in the future!

I have four piercings! Just my lobes and an industrial atm but I'm definitely gonna get more done!!

I might get some tattoos too one day :D

I wanna learn how to ride a bike (motorcycle)!!

My love language is touch! I live for hand holding, cuddling, hugging, tickle fights and more!! 🥺

I love learning new stuff and rn I'm learning how to draw, paint, play music on sax, a new language and new recipes! :3

I hope that's enough!! Tell me if you need more! Pls take ur time and stay safe!! Hope you are having an amazing day/night!!!! 💙✨

AAH I’M A SAX PLAYER TOO!!!! I love sax, I love sax, I love jazz?? I love growl notes. Sax is amazing, bless sax. Sax quartets are so fun

Also! I only accept one fandom and one type of matchup per ask, but if you want to get a bnha one as well, you can always send your description through again!! (I like doing it this way bc I feel like it’s fair for everyone?? Also if I lose my progress I don’t have as much lost)

Also WOW do you remind me of my self (we’re both Taurus suns hahahah)!! I have to note everything down in my calendar and reminders because I forget everything that’s not necessary for a grade. It’s insane!!

By the way your request was so well done?? So organized?? Wow, kudos to you bro!! I love it

I’d match you up with... GOSHIKI!!

Omg when I saw your qualities and flaws I was like I HAVE TO I HAVE TO I HAVE TOOOO

The way you fire that boy up is damn near DANGEROUS. But he loves you so much for it!! Oh my god you’re his daily dose of serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins, EVERYTHING. Goshiki can be hard on himself sometimes though, and he really needs someone who’s able to point out the good in a bad (or mediocre) situation. After a while, he’ll really try to have that kind of mindset for himself. In a way, you’re his idol. He admires you so much; you’re all he talks about, aside from his plans of becoming an ace. Also, you somehow know him better than he knows himself. You’ll point out his tiniest habits and he’s just like ??i do that?? Oh wow I DO do that—

He really really hopes you pick up the technique side of volleyball when you watch him play because he totally wants you to tell him what he can fix!! No, he’s not neglecting his coach it’s just that?? You’re there?? And he loves getting your feedback because it’s so validating. HE ALSO THINKS YOUR LOVE FOR LEARNING NEW THINGS IS SO COOL?? It rubs off on him, now he wants to know all about your hobbies and if he can like,, participate in them with you. He’s a bit competitive and as soon as you tell him you play sax he’s got his mind set on learning the saxophone solo from Money. Please help him, he’s not gonna be able to-

Overall?? You’re Goshiki’s Equal (yeah that’s how he thought of you before he realized he had a Crush), and he respects you and he loves you so much. The team tries to tease him for it but lo and behold; his eyes just light up and he could talk about you for HOURS. Tendou learned Not To Mention The One around Goshiki.

Songs!!!

- Money, Pink Floyd (Goshiki started listening to it religiously for the Solo. He didn’t even get discouraged and you’re surprised by that)

- Cradles, Sub Urban

- Burial (feat. Pusha T, Moody Good & TrollPhace), Yogi & Skrillex (buddy thinks this is the epitome of Hype)

- Blackout, David Bowie

[tonyglowheart]

I saw that you, too, hate the "stygian" translation of "yin" for the tiger seal in MDZS. It felt so out of place when I saw it for the first time; it's hardly a common english word to start with, and since it fundamentally means "relating to the river Styx", it feels like a very mixed metaphor in context. Considering CQL made yin iron into a Thing, I don't see why they couldn't have used "yin" again; for the other media translations, "dark" could have worked fine afaik.

I think the reason it was chosen was for the “underworld” connotations, and probably the meaning of 阴 chosen was more of the 阴间 one, vs like... the whole host of linguistic & cultural connotations that 阴 ties into.

My opinion on why/how this came to be (based not so much on direct research as my impressions) is that the issues are several-fold. 阴间 yinjian, meaning underworld, actually is sometimes - especially in older sources - translated to “Hades,” by way of indicating, I suppose, the realm of the underworld that is not the Christian “heaven” or “hell.” My opinion of where this arises from, is from an older generation of sinologists who are comprised mainly of white men, and in a time where I’d say Grecian culture & Greek myth is fairly normalized as “classic,” and to which these white men might draw parallels for translation, kind of like how when white food bloggers talk about “ethnic” foods they do things like “sort of like a cross between a burger burger and a taco with vibrant ethnic spices” i.e. relate it back to something “familiar.” I’d like to think academia is... if not quite there, then at least getting to a place where it’s more aware of its biases, and there are more ppl challenging certain biases, and so there’s more... hm, ethical? I’m going to say ethical - ethical behavior in dealing with cultures. I do think if you look at older sources - academic or otherwise - there’s definitely places where people have just. straight-up made shit up to fit whatever narrative they were trying to tell, whereas now I’d like to think people are more likely to mention what they don’t know, and frame their speculations as such. But the point being, it is in this kind of environment, and esp with a lot of... imo unfortunate “precedent,” and esp if you’re pulling from older EN>CN/CN>EN dictionaries, you can get these unfortunate and, imo, less nuanced & culturally aware “definitions.” 

And tbh, I think the fact that English is a heavily Christianized language, isn’t always... very obvious to people? Especially if they live in a region where English may be a primary or even secondary language, but the culture isn’t English or American. And their experiences aren’t invalid, and connotations are a difficult needle to thread anyway, but then I think certain translations still create more issues than they solve when you take English’s linguistic history into consideration.

Coming back to MDZS, I think “stygian” was chosen out of, like, less awareness of English linguistic definitions but also connotations, and perhaps with less concern of linguistic colonization (which I’m more sensitive to as diaspora in the US than someone who is in Asia and isn’t a "minority” there). It... potentially could be a valid translation, but I still think it creates more problems than it solves, and when we bring in CQL, I think it gets very interesting. Because the reason “stygian” remained in MDZS, imo, is because.. honestly I think Tencent’s subs were “community subs” lmao, meaning whoever got there first to submit subtitles, was able to do that, and then after a while Tencent “locked” the subs, which is why you get. such ridiculous weird subs in the “official” subs. And the reason “Stygian” remained, and also got carried over to GoodSmile, is bc it already existed in the general popular conception :’) But since yin iron is a new concept, ppl were translating it from scratch. In which case, you can see that... they in fact just kept it yin. Which I think strengthens my case of “it should just be Yin Tiger Seal/Amulet/etc” lmao

tbh I don’t think “dark” works bc I think that, again, removes a lot of tie-in cultural meanings/aspects, the way “stygian” narrows the box of interpretation too into one specific aspect.

I also don’t love stygian bc when you have stygian & “demonic” combined, it has ppl thinking that the MDZS construction is a lot more “hell” in the “classic” (read: Christian) sense than it really is :’)