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waitimcomingtoo · 4 years ago

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Customer Service

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: Tom is a frequent and favorite customer at your coffee shop

For @itsemohours who made my beautiful header

Masterlist

“Hi! Welcome to Tilly’s.” You greeted your newest customer with a smile. “What can I get you started with today?”

Tom looked up from his phone and did a double take, not having expected his cashier to be a pretty girl his age. He frequented Tilly’s often but had never seen you working before. You smiled at each other, both enchanted by the presence of one another. Tom laughed in embarrassment, knowing his face had gone red just from the sight of you. You smiled sheepishly and adjusted your cap out of habit.

“Hi. Um, good morning.” He stumbled over his words. “Could I, could I uh get an egg and turkey on a croissant, please?”

“Sure.” You chuckled softly as you typed his order into your register. “Anything else?”

“That’s all, thank you.” He gulped nervously. You looked up shyly from the register, quickly looking away when you made eye contact.

“No problem. Can I get a name for the order?” You asked sweetly as you shook some hair out of your face.

“Tom H, please.” He told you.

“Nice manners, Tom H.” You chuckled again as you typed in his name. “I don’t hear a lot of those here.”

“Really? I guess my mum taught me right.” He joked, feeling more confident now.

“She did.” You remarked as he swiped his credit card. “Your order will be ready shortly.”

“Thank you. Have a nice day.” He turned to walk away before adding, “Please have a nice day.”

“Thank you.” You laughed at his joke. “You too.”

“Bye.” He waved awkwardly, not wanting to leave but knowing it’d be worse to stay.

“Bye.” You waved back before pressing your cold hands to your burning cheeks. Your coworker gave you a knowing look to which you did your best to ignore. You let out a breath once Tom left the shop, finally feeling your heartbeat go back to normal.

Three days later, you turned your head upon hearing the bell above the door jingle, smiling when you saw Tom walking in.

“Hi.” He smiled brightly when he saw you were working again. He may or may not have been passing the shop every day to see if you were there. Your smile had left a mark on him and he had been counting down the minutes until he saw it again.

“Oh, hello again.” You waved as he approached the counter.

“You remember me?” He was pleasantly surprised to see a glimmer of recognition in your eyes.

“Of course I do.” You shrugged. “Tom H with the manners.”

“If I tip you generously, would you tell me your name?” He asked as he leaned on the counter.

“I’ll tell you for free.” You flirted. “It’s Y/n.”

“Nice to see you again, Y/n.” Tom said through a smile, feeling accomplished now that he got your name.

“You too.” You smiled back. “What can I get you today?”

“Egg and turkey on a croissant, please.” He ordered politely.

“You got it.” You giggled as you typed his order in. “Anything else?”

“Not today, thank you.” He shook his head.

“Thank you.” You smirked. “Your order will be ready shortly.”

“Awesome. See you later.” He waved as he headed towards the counter.

“See you.” You waved back, still blushing long after he walked away.

You didn’t see Tom for the rest of the week which disappointed you slightly. You always liked working, but he had made your work day all the much better. Your head snapped up every time you heard the bell above the door chime, always sinking in disappointment when you didn’t see him.

Finally, the following Monday, he walked in.

“Morning, darling.” He greeted you as he walked up to your register.

“Good Morning, Tom H.” You smiled in relief. “What can I get you?”

“I’ll have egg and turkey on a croissant, please.”

“Ah, yes. I should’ve remembered.” You laughed to yourself as you punched it in. “I’ll have that right out for you.”

“How long have you been working here, if you don’t mind me asking?” He made the choice to stay and chat today, since no one was behind him. He prayed no one else would walk into the store, and you shared that prayer.

“It’s my third week.” You told him. “I’m still trying to figure out how to use the expression machine. Why do you ask?”

“I’ve just never seen you here before.” He explained.

“Oh. Do you come here often?” You asked. “That wasn’t a come on, by the way, it was a genuine question.”

“I used to come here at least once a week. I come a little more often now.” He shrugged shyly.

“I can tell. You know, you’re slowly becoming my favorite customer.” You flirted with him shamelessly.

“Really?” His eyes widened in excitement. “Anything I can do to quicken the pace?”

“Just keep coming to see me, is all.” You smiled softly as he swiped his credit card.

“I can do that. I will do that.” He said decidedly.

“Order for Tom H.” A voice called from the pick up counter.

“Guess that’s my cue.” He smiled sadly. “Are you working tomorrow?”

“No.” You shook your head. “I’m working Sunday though.”

“Okay. See you Sunday.” He knocked the counter twice before walking away. You sighed dreamily once he was gone, clasping your hands together in excitement. Little did you know, Tom was celebrating in his own way as he left the shop.

As promised, Tom walked into Tilly’s on Sunday morning.

“Tom H.” You beamed when he walked in, waving to him excitedly.

“Good morning, Y/n. Your makeup looks really nice.” He complimented you. He was going to compliment you regardless of what you looked like, you just happened to look really nice that day. It wasn’t an accident either. You knew Tom was going to be there, so you did your makeup better than usual to catch his attention.

“I woke up before my alarm so I had a little extra time.” You shrugged, lying as if it was no big deal. “Thanks for noticing.”

“How could I not?” He chuckled bashfully. You turned your head to the side as you face flushed, hiding your smile behind your hand.

“Will you be having the usual today?” You asked once you composed yourself.

“I will.” He nodded. “Egg and turkey on a croissant, please.”

“No problem.” You giggled as you took his order down.

“Why do you always laugh when I say my order?” He playfully teased as you gave the order to the kitchen.

“Nothing, it’s just, you say croissant funny.” You admitted, making his jaw drop in mock offense.

“Do I?” He wondered. “Croissant. It’s croissant right?”

“I say croissant.” You spoke through a smile. “With a “cra”. You say it with a “qua”. It’s funny.”

“I’m glad you think so. You have a really nice smile.” He complimented you again.

“Thank you. So do you. Um, would you like anything else?” You stammered through your sentence.

“That’s all, thank you.” He smiled at how flustered he had made you.

“Sorry.” You laughed in embarrassment as you pressed the back of your hand to your face. “I’m just- it’s hot in here.”

“Isn’t that a fan right above you?” He smirked as he nodded towards the air vent.

“Shut up. Go pick up your order.” You teased him.

“You have a nice day, Y/n.” He said as he put money in your tip jar. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye.” You waved flirtatiously as he went to get his order. As much as you loved your little encounters, you wanted more. As you walked him leave the shop, you devised a plan for the next time you saw him.

Which was Thursday night, by the way.

“Hey, Y/n. How’s it going?” Tom walked into your shop around 8 pm on night. You were the only one working since nights were pretty slow, and no other customers had stayed.

“Tom H.” You greeted him cheerfully. “It’s a little late for an egg sandwich, don’t you think?”

“Actually I was hoping you could tell me about the kinds of tea you have.” He gave you his rehearsed statement.

“Sure. They’re all listed on the menu.” You pointed to the menu written in chalk on the blackboard above you.

“I know. I don’t really want tea. I just wanted to see you.” He admitted as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. You sucked in a breath at his bold statement before leaning across the counter.

“In that case, how about I make you my favorite tea? On the house.” You suggested. “If you can guess what it is, I’ll give you a prize.”

“A prize?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Interested?”

“Absolutely.” He folded his arms and nodded.

“Alright.” You smirked as you typed in his order. “Your order will be ready shortly. I’ll see you at the pick up counter.”

Tom strolled over to the pick up counter while you disappeared into the kitchen. He drummed his fingers on the counter as he waited for you, not having to wait to long since it was just tea.

“Order for Tom H.” You came out of the kitchen and presented him with tea in a paper cup.

“Thank you.” He smiled as he took it from you. “Is it weird that I’m nervous?”

“Don’t be nervous. Just take a sip.” You shrugged as you wiped your hands off on your apron.

“Alright. I’m putting all my trust in you.” He eyed you skeptically as he took a sip. His eyebrows knit together as he swallowed, taking the cup away from his lips to examine it.

“Chamomile? Did you give me Chamomile tea?” He laughed in amusement at how easy it was.

“Correct.” You clapped for him. “You got it.”

“So what’s my prize?” He inquired as he leaned on the counter to get closer to you. You rested your chin in you hand and leaves on your elbows, shamelessly gazing at the boy.

“Check the cup.” Your eyes flickered from the cup to his face. Toms eyes glimmered with curiosity as he quickly checked the cup, smiling in excitement when he found a phone number written on the side.

“Is this your number?” He looked up at you with hope.

“Yea.” You bit your lip. “Use it.”

“I will.” He stated firmly. You gulped nervously before straightening up, holding his gaze as you moved. Before you could lose your nerve, you tightened your fingers around his shirt collar and pulled him in, kissing him firmly on the lips. You felt his eyelashes brush against your face as his eyes fluttered shut, deepening the kiss once he realized what was happening. His fingers came to your hair, accidentally knocking your cap off on to the floor. You pulled away and smiled at him while you released your grip on his shirt.

“Wow.” He stammered. “You guys have really good customer service.”

“Have a nice night, Tom H.” You chuckled and patted his cheek before disappearing back into the kitchen.

“You too.” He squeaked, but you were already gone.

Tom grabbed his cup, cheeks still pink from the kiss, and scurried out the door. He got home as quickly as he could and typed your number into his phone, not even caring of it was too soon.

“Is this Y/n?” He sent, impatiently pacing around the room as he waited for your reply. Unlucky for him, it didn’t come until an hour later once you had closed the store and gone home. In the mean time, he had changed into comfy clothes and gotten settled on the couch as he waited for your response.

Around 9:40, he heard his phone ding.

“Tom H?” Was on his Lock Screen, making him squeal in excitement.

“Yes”

“You don’t have to call me Tom H you know”

“Just Tom is fine”

He sent the three texts and shut his phone off so he wouldn’t seem as desperate as he felt. Soon enough, he heard his phone chime.

“I know. But I get a lot of Toms in the store. You’re my only Tom H” you had sent back. Tom thought of a witty reply to make you laugh and quickly typed it out.

“So I have competition? Tompetition some might say” He sent. The bubble appeared in no time and your text appeared on his screen.

“I can’t believe you said that. Delete my number 🤢”

He audibly laughed at your message, glad you got his sense of humor.

“Wait please. Give me a second chance :(“ He wrote you back.

“Fine. But only because you used old school emojis and I find that cute” You texted him.

“Thank you for the second chance. You can’t see it but I’m blushing” He sent.

“Show me”

Tom furrowed his eyebrows, not comprehending what you meant.

“How?” He asked.

“FaceTime me dummy” You wrote and his heart stopped in his chest.

“Okay” He texted you back before running to a mirror. He combed through his hair, checked his teeth, and smoothed his clothing before running back to the couch. He pressed the Facetime icon and nervously waited for you to pick up.

“Hi” Your face came on his screen, makeup free now but still smiling.

“Hey.” He waved to you and rested his hand on his head. “It’s so weird not seeing you in uniform”

“I know. You’ve caught me in my favorite pajamas.” You laughed and held the camera far away from you to show off your oversized shirt and fluffy pants.

“I like them.” He chuckled. “You look cute.”

“So do you.” You admired him in his pink hoodie. “Pink might be my new favorite color.”

“Gah.” He shrunk down in his hoodie to hide his pink cheeks. “Are you like this with all your customers?”

“Just the cute ones with manners.” You flirted with him. Tom let out a content sigh, no longer caring how flushed he was.

“I swear, I’m not normally this flustered.” He pouted. “It’s like you put a spell on me or something.”

“I love that movie.” You gushed as you sat up in bed.

“What movie?” He cocked his head.

“Hocus Pocus. I put a spell on you.” You sang but Tom didn’t show any signs of recognition.

“Never seen it.” He grimaced, hoping that wouldn’t ruin his second chance. Your jaw dropped and you feigned disbelief.

“What?” You gasped.

“I’m sorry.” He whined. “It was too American for me.”

“That’s it.” You clicked your tongue. “You need to watch it or I’m actually gonna put a spell on your next egg sandwich. I’ll make you turn into a toad or something.”

“That’s all right. Then you’d have to kiss me to turn me back into a prince.” He joked and puckered his lips. “Again.”

“Oh my God.” You laughed at his idiocy. “As if I would kiss a frog. Maybe if he’s seen Hocus Pocus I would.” You mumbled under your breath.

“Tell you what, I’ll watch Hocus Pocus under one condition.” He held up one finger up.

“And what might that be?” You questioned.

“You watch it with me. On date.” He stated.

“I think I can manage that.” You bit back a smile. “Are you busy tonight?”

“Now I am.” He grinned. “Text me your address.”

“Already sent.” You said as a text with your address appeared on the top of his screen.

“Awesome.” He got off the couch and grabbed his car keys. “Should I bring anything?”

“Any chocolate you have. And some chapstick.” You told him.

“Chapstick?” He questioned on his way out the door.

“You know”, you shrugged playfully, “in case I decide to give you that kiss.”

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xmint-conditionx · 4 years ago

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☆ flanked ☆ ch1 | knj

(verb) flank -

guard or strengthen (a military force or position) from the side.

attack down or from the sides, or rake with gunfire from the sides.

☆ pairing: soldier!namjoon x widow!reader; namjoon x fem!reader ☆ word count: 4.7K ☆ summary: you’re a recently widowed military spouse who is stationed at camp walker, south korea. you’re dealing with the tragedy of your husband’s recent death, and in the process, you accidentally meet a k-pop idol you’ve had a crush on for years. who knew you’d both be at the same post while he’s doing his compulsory service? who knew he’d be so damn nice? who knew it would be impossible to get him out of your head? ☆ warnings: angst, mentions of death, grieving, feelings of guilt, brief description of sexual acts. ☆ a/n: hey everyone c: glad to be putting this gem back up into the world. please do let me know if you want to be added to a taglist for this, i’d be happy to oblige! this was one of the first things i’ve written, and so i hadn’t quite found my style yet, but it’s not that bad??? i pretty much have the whole story planned out, but i want to take my time with it. this is my lil baby, and i wanna treat it right uwu this starts off with a lot of angst and tough emotions, but there will be eventual smut!!! huge thank you to my supportive spouse who is in the military and has helped out with some of the realism aspects of this story. hope y’all like it! enjoy!

- minty <3

It’s raining today. Again. The clouds hang low, like a weighted blanket covering your whole world. Aren’t those things supposed to help with anxiety? If only the clouds comforted you, maybe you wouldn’t feel the need to go to… therapy. The word stings in your brain. Another cruel joke of the universe: the un-comforting weighted cloud blanket, and the need for you to go to therapy to ease your pain about a dead therapist.

The light of the day is beginning to leave as you walk towards the address the man had given you the day before. You really should have been nicer; he really didn’t mean to hurt you. And you really should have asked his name. Mentally kicking yourself, you vow that you’ll do it tonight. After all, this is the only other time you’ve left the house by yourself this week. It was nice to not have the Casualty Assistance Officer breathing down your neck for once. There has to be some good in that. Hell, this little outing might actually be helpful.

The old government building is dull, like both the sky and your feelings. If you died right now and were reincarnated into an object instead of a being, the building in front of you would probably be the best fit. Shades of brown and grey cover tired and worn brick. Government funding has tried its best to keep it presentable but truthfully, it’s barely holding on. It’s definitely seen better days. The more you think about the similarities, the more pathetic you feel, so you push on ahead and push the thoughts out of your mind. The door creaks as you walk in the cold and dark foyer and it all just... makes sense. As empty inside as you are. Jesus, you’ve never been this morbid. There are no lights on other than one at the end of one of the hallways, and you hesitantly step towards it. You don’t like the thought of what that light is going to expose.

As you reluctantly enter the beam of offensive fluorescent light, someone takes notice of you. Already? They’re walking towards you, hand extended. You’re busy blinking back at the new bright sensation as you reach your hand out to introduce yourself. After blinking back the harsh light, you can see the little folding chairs placed in a circle in the room. Great, you think, just like AA.

The man before you seems to be in his late 30s, a little on the short side, with a little bit of hair recession. As you finish your short bow to the man, he says in Korean “Yes, someone told us you might be joining us tonight.” as he sends a meaningful look over to one of the chairs in the circle. You follow his gaze to see the man from yesterday grinning up at you, dimples on full display, this time in civilian clothes. After sending you a goofy little wave, he pats the chair next to him and not so smoothly motions for you to sit there.

“Go ahead,” the older man says, “make yourself comfortable. We’ll be starting in a few minutes.”

You walk toward the empty chair, and take in how truly different he looks in plain clothes. His KATUSA uniform was extremely flattering to his large frame, but this is just downright cruel. The black beanie he’s sporting looks way too good on him. His short sleeved v-neck shirt is a little tight, revealing the finely defined shape of his chest and his arms. He catches your eyes lingering on his body, and you quickly look down as you feel a blush creep up. You tell yourself to just pretend nothing happened, and it’ll all be fine.

After you sit down, you open your mouth to ask for his name, but he does the same, your voices awkwardly echoing each other. Realizing what happened, your cheeks grow even warmer and you can’t help but turn away as you both share a laugh. You shake it off and give him your name, family first and individual second, attempting to at least make eye contact with him.

“Nice to officially meet you. I’m Sangbyeong Kim Namjoon, but please don’t feel the need to use titles or honorifics with me. We’re equals here as far as I’m concerned. I’m really glad you decided to come tonight.”

So, it is him. You can’t even begin to believe it. He looks so different than he did in the tour pictures you saw only a few years ago, but as you look up at him knowing what you know, it all falls into place. Some things for sure didn’t change one bit- his button nose, his deep and smoldering eyes, and the signature dimples really should have given it away. His smile is still just as genuine and reassuring and gleaming and... beautiful?

You immediately squish the thought and offer him back a tight smile. You’re not going to let him know you know who he is. It would probably only make him feel weird and you’ve already been so awful to him. You’re not going to allow yourself to make a big deal about this, and you’re definitely not going to allow yourself to... like him.

“Look,” you start, “I appreciate your concern. I... I just don’t think something like this will help me. At least not right now.” You sigh, studying your shoes as a distraction. Your hands busy themselves fiddling with your necklace. There’s no way you can be here sitting this close to Namjoon.

As if he can read your panicked thoughts, Namjoon leans in closer to you, so close you can feel his warm breath on your jaw, and with a hushed and more gravelly voice, he says, “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. Hell, I didn’t say anything for almost a whole month. It just... felt good to listen. You’re not going to be forced into anything. This is going to go at your speed and be what you’re comfortable with. I promise.” With that last sentence, he places his large, warm hand on your knee.

Shit. You suddenly feel your entire body ignite. What is this? A bolt of lightning rushes up your spine. Your heart starts to pound in your chest. No, this isn’t happening. Your legs begin to tingle. This can’t be happening; this is not allowed. You swallow hard.

You don’t want to be aroused. You straight up shouldn’t be aroused. This is messed up. Really messed up. You blink some sense back into yourself and cross your legs away from him which thankfully removes the cursed hand.

You’d imagined being touched by this man for a pretty considerable amount of time some years ago; you had filled your head with countless fantasies, knowing they’d never come true. You’d read countless imaginings of his other fans and admirers. This man had fueled so many hidden desires within you. You’d thought of his hands exploring your frame, his strong arms throwing you around, his plush lips leaving marks along your inner thighs...

Thinking of him had been your guilty little pleasure, even something your husband had liked to playfully tease you about. To actually have him here next to you in the flesh, though, was still somehow unfathomable. Why now, you mentally screamed to the god you didn’t believe in. The universe’s cruel jokes just won’t end, will they? What can you possibly even do about this? You can’t sit here and allow your panties to be wet when your husband hasn’t even been buried yet for fucks sake. God, you’re so ashamed. You’re just going to have to keep him at a polite distance. That’s your only option.

You don’t speak through the meeting. But Namjoon was right, it is kind of nice to hear other people’s stories. Even though it’s only been a week since you found out, there’s a lot of feelings and thoughts you can relate to with these people. You’ve found out why Namjoon comes to these meetings every week. That was a question you didn’t want to linger on, much less learn the answer to. You didn’t want to imagine him experiencing a loss like this. Even when you weren’t convinced it was really him, seeing that same pain in another’s eyes only made yours hurt worse.

One of Namjoon’s fellow soldiers had died in a training accident, and the whole fire team was there doing group therapy. They spent most of their time remembering the funny things he would do to cheer everyone up during their long ruck marches and their annoying and boring bouts of equipment cleaning. Private First Class Derek Williams was the goofball of the group, and he was definitely well loved. Namjoon’s eyes never fully lit up when everyone’s anecdotes hit their punchline.

As the meeting draws to a close and people begin filing out, the group leader comes over to the both of you and asks Namjoon how his thoughts have been over the past week. It’s interesting that the man takes special interest in Namjoon. He nods and just casually replies, “I keep thinking it should have been me instead.”

His relaxed confession is absolutely shocking. Why would he say that? The older man seems to be as surprised as you are.

“Namjoon-ah, please don’t say such things,” the man urges.

“I know how it sounds, I really do. I’m not going to do anything crazy, and I know it’s a pointless thought,” he shrugs. “It’s just how I’ve been feeling.”

The older man nods.

“Go in well-being, Namjoon. Please, call me if you need to.”

You find yourself walking out together. The sky is now fully dark and there’s an added chill in the air, urging you to pull your scarf up a little higher. At least it’s not raining anymore. It’s not usually this cold in Daegu at this time of year; you’re practically begging Spring to come. Although you’re in stride with each other, Namjoon feels like he’s a million miles away.

“Hey,” you begin, hoping to ease the tension. “I’m sorry about your friend. He sounded like a really nice guy.”

“Yeah, he was. Thanks. I’m sorry about your husband too. You seem to miss him a lot.”

“Yeah, I do. Part of me still doesn’t believe he can really be gone. I feel like I’ve been walking around in a daze for the past week. All the paperwork I’ve had to sign. All the logistics. It’s all a little overwhelming so I… just kind of shut down most of the time. Our dog is still looking for him around the house, too, which is probably the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Oh, shit. I couldn’t imagine. I have a dog too and... I don’t want to think about how confused they must be. That’s terrible. I’m so sorry.”

You both stop walking, because you realize you’ve allowed him to walk you all the way to your car. He didn’t even ask.

“Speaking of my son… I... actually need to go walk him. He’s been inside all day and it’s finally stopped raining. Huskies need exercise... So...”

Namjoon lights up a little. “Do you walk him on post?”

“No actually, we go to Duryu Park. He likes the ducks that gather at the pond. Although they probably won’t be doing very much at this time of night.”

“Hey, why don’t we go together?” he asks, “It’s dark out and it’s not a good idea for you to be by yourself.”

“Excuse me?” you snap. He doesn’t know you’re a brown belt, but he sure is about to.

A flustered Namjoon begins stumbling over his words. “I’m just saying, you’re like really small and someone could easily—“

“Namjoon,” you laugh. “I think I can handle myself.”

“No, uh, what I’m trying to say is that there’s safety in numbers, you know? It would be difficult to fight off bad guys while keeping hold of your dog...” He has a good point. You’ve never walked Draco this late before. You don’t want to admit it, but your recent lesson in mortality has left you a little more than uneasy, especially now that Namjoon has made you think about it.

He continues his word vomit, mistaking your furrowed eyebrows for reluctance instead of consideration.

“Look, I’m sure you’re very intimidating but—“

Oh my god, you can’t take it anymore.

“Namjoon!” you exclaim and he finally, finally stops the verbal deluge. “Fine.”

He seems astonished. “Really?”

“Yeah, meet me by the bridge that leads to the little island in the middle of the pond in like... 30 minutes. We usually do two laps around the water. And...” you pause, “thanks.” You’re a little annoyed at how persistent he can be, but he is really considerate.

His eyes sparkle in the light of the street lamps and you notice his gaze linger on your pursed lips. He does a... weird little hop and finally fully smiles at you. You’ve forgotten how utterly striking his full smile can be. Jesus Christ, how many teeth does this man have? His cheeks have become even more round and his eyes shrink into little half moons. Your stomach does somersaults as you bask in the glow of his happiness. Ugh, not again.

“Okay, I’ll see you soon!” he says, hurrying away. You don’t notice him glance back at you, and that’s probably a good thing.

You get in your car and put your forehead against the steering wheel. Why can’t you just say no to this man?

___________________________

You walk up to the start of the bridge with your pup in tow, who is obviously very pleased to be outside and at his favorite park to boot. The street lamps don’t cover much, but you can just make out a leggy figure standing next to a small white fluff ball. You’d forgotten he said he had a dog too. As you get closer, you see he’s got the leash handle around his wrist, because both his hands are holding two white cups with steam pouring out of the top.

“What’s this?” you ask, as he extends one of the cups to you. Your dogs are busy sniffing each other, ears back and tails wagging.

“Hot chocolate! It’s really cold out and I noticed you shivering when we got out of the group therapy building and I was going to get you coffee but I didn’t know what kind you like or how you take it plus it’s late and caffeine might keep you up all night and I didn’t want to—“

“Namjoon,” you cut him off before he explodes. “Thank you.” you reply, taking a sip of the hot drink and relishing in how it warms you up. You look back up at the handsome man, who is beaming down at you, enthralled in your pleased reaction. Warmth is beginning to spread through your body, and as your eye contact with him deepens, you begin to wonder if it’s just the hot chocolate. You can’t help yourself. “You do know that there’s a lot of sugar in hot chocolate though, right?”

He furrows his eyebrows and panic soon consumes his face.

“Oh! Right! I’m sorry I—“

“Relax, I’m just teasing you. I’ll be fine, promise. And if I’m not and you end up keeping me up all night, I guess I’ll just have to kick your ass.” you deadpan, which takes more effort than usual because now, you’re picturing him… keeping you up all night.

He starts laughing and you can’t help but to join him. He has a good, hearty laugh, one that makes his entire face light up. It feels really good to be laughing with him.

“Oh!” he exclaims suddenly, “this is Moni!” gesturing down to the adorable American Eskimo at the end of the pink leash.

You squat down to formally introduce yourself to Moni. You let him sniff your hand as your dog takes the opportunity to sneak some kisses on your face.

“Bananas, stop!” you light-heartedly scold, but your pooch doesn’t get the message. He seems encouraged instead, and you are given no mercy by your big fluffy boy.

Namjoon just laughs at how adorably frustrated you are. After he’s had enough entertainment, he extends a hand and helps you back up. This is the first time you’ve touched skin to skin, and your body is keenly aware of it. His hands are softer than you thought they’d be, and really warm. With how cold it is, you wish you could keep holding onto his strong yet elegant hands. Even after he’s released you, a symphony of tingles play in your legs, betraying you once again.

“Shall we then?” Namjoon asks, tilting his head down slightly so he’s looking at you through his eyelashes. Why does he have to do that? He can’t look at you like that. It’s illegal. Not allowed. He’s torturing you, and surely he has to know that. Or is he oblivious? He’s probably not even trying, because he has no reason to. He doesn’t even need to try. Which is kind of the problem, because you can’t exactly tell him to stop being so damn hot.

You can only answer him by tugging on your leash with a “let’s go!”

Over your walk, you talk about favorite places to eat in town and the different attractions you’ve come to love during your stay here. He talks about one of his best friends who grew up here in Daegu, so he knows all of these nice little spots only a local would typically know. You don’t have to wait for him to say Yoongi’s name before you know who he’s talking about, bringing up a hint of stinging remorse at your secret. He says they’re still in contact as much as they can be, but it tends to be difficult when they were both doing their compulsory service. Yoongi had finished his obligation, and is back in Seoul working on music. For his time, he was stationed right outside of Seoul working with the Korean Military Police, so he never really had to totally put down his work. He talks about Yoongi like they’re brothers, and it’s one of the sweetest things you’ve ever seen. Namjoon doesn’t even try to hide how much he misses his friend.

He asks about where you grew up, and the question is kind of startling. It’s not that you’re not wanting to tell him, but you’re surprised that he wants to know.

“I grew up in Georgia, in the United States. It’s in the Southeastern part of the country.”

“Ah okay, so you grew up close to Atlanta?” he asks, full of curiosity.

“Kind of! I was about a 4 hour drive from there. I grew up closer to the ocean.” you say, and notice his eyes light up when you mention the sea.

“There’s a guy in my unit,” he begins, “who did his training in Georgia. He said that there isn’t much there other than Atlanta...” he says, quickly noticing your bemused look. He catches himself and finishes, “but in hindsight he was likely biased.”

“He probably trained at Ft. Benning. If that’s the case, I don’t blame him for thinking that at all,” you say, “He’s actually kind of right, if that’s all of Georgia he got to see,” you continue, laughing a little.

“Well, what do you think of Georgia?”

“Hmmmm. I think I wouldn’t have wanted to grow up anywhere else. The area where I grew up was close to the beach, but there was also a lot of agriculture. My grandma even had a peach tree in her backyard. She’d let me go back there and pick a peach and eat it if I had behaved that day. Peaches are my favorite, so it was a pretty good motivator.”

“Georgia is known for their peaches, right?” he asks, but his tone tells you he already knows the answer to that. You had always thought people were exaggerating at how smart he is, but you can’t deny the fact any longer.

“Yeah, we’re even called the peach state. Peaches, pecans, sweet onions and peanuts all grow well there.” you say and he nods with understanding.

“So what about the town you grew up in?”

“The town was pretty small, my high school maybe had 500 people in it. But the bigger city by us was great. A lot of different types of people. A lot of good food. God, I miss southern food a lot.” you gasp, grabbing his bicep with your free hand, “Namjoon! You haven’t lived until you’ve had good collard greens!”

“Collard greens? I’ve never heard of that,” he says, scrunching up his eyebrows.

“It’s a side dish we eat down south. It goes with just about everything, but it’s best next to fried chicken and macaroni and cheese.”

“Macaroni and cheese…” he muses, letting the English words roll off his tongue, “I really want to try more American food. I’ve had plenty of hamburgers, but I want to try everything. PFC Williams always let me try his lunch if I asked him. He brought this thing called potato salad one day… that was an interesting experience.”

You sigh, “there’s much more to American food than just hamburgers and potato salad. Too bad there aren’t any real authentic American food restaurants here. Although, there is a Johnny Rockets on the other side of town. Is that where you get your hamburgers?”

“Yeah… it is. Chain restaurants are cheating though, right?”

“Yeah, basically. If you want real American food, you’ve got to get a real American to make it for you. I thought I really liked Korean food until I moved here. Americanized Koean food is not half as good as the real thing,” you assure him.

“I could have told you that,” he teases, giving you a light bump with his shoulder. “Do you have a favorite restaurant in town?”

You discuss the places you have come to love in Daegu, from restaurants to parks to shopping areas to museums. You both realize you enjoy art, although he prefers looking at it while you enjoy making it. The conversation ventures to Pollock and Monet and Van Gogh and you go on about how you just don’t get Picassos. He just lets you just rant about how much you hate his works for probably too long, until you’ve run out of breath and are forced to take a break.

“Wow, that bad huh? What did he ever do to you?” Namjoon chuckles.

“He destroyed my corneas with his kindergarten level bullshit, that’s what.” you snap, which only makes him laugh more.

“So it’s safe to say that you hate Banksy too, then?”

“No way!” you say, “Banksy is a genius!”

He just continues to chuckle, clearly amused. “I will never understand you, woman.”

“Are you trying to?” you quip before you can stop yourself, and his laughs die down. Oh, no. That was so direct. Way too direct. He’s got to know you’re into him now; he’d be a moron to not pick up on it. Your stomach is doing somersaults again, but not the good kind this time. You’ve known him for less than two days, so why did you think that was a good thing to say?

You chew your lip, worried of what he might be thinking. Or worse, what he might actually say. After an excruciatingly long silence, finally, it happens.

“Yes. I am.”

What does that even mean?! Your thoughts are beginning to spiral again, and thankfully, he continues, albeit way too nonchalantly.

“And honestly, it’s been really enjoyable to do.”

It’s been... enjoyable? Has he already forgotten how you met? This man must have a death wish if getting verbally murked by a strange woman in public was something he considered to be ‘enjoyable.’ You’re immeasurably grateful he isn't looking at you right now, because it’s nearly impossible to hide your astonishment.

“So…” he begins slowly, “I hope you’ll continue to let me.”

What do you even say to something like that? Namjoon is so much nicer than you ever expected, and that fact is only making things more difficult for you. You’ve had more enjoyment in this one walk than you’ve had this whole week, but there’s about a million different reasons why you should stay away from him. If you only could have met under different circumstances, this might be something you could explore. Honestly, you would still love to explore the possibilities with him, even here and now, but the thoughts of your husband are difficult to push away.

You recoil at that and curse yourself.

They shouldn’t be pushed away! It’s not fair to your husband or to his memory. It wouldn’t even be fair to Namjoon! You can barely give yourself a hundred percent right now, much less a new friendship. On top of everything, you’re going to have to go back to the states in less than 6 months, which is an eventuality you’re not looking forward to facing.

The only sounds now are the soft contact of your shoes against pavement, the tinkling of metal dog tags, and the cold breeze rustling the trees around the four of you. You were correct about there being no ducks out this late, and you find yourself missing their chatter. Anything to distract you from this confrontation would be welcome right now. As the silence grows longer, it becomes more and more difficult for you to respond. You’ve never been great with words, but what do you have to lose besides looking like an idiot? Besides, you’ve already done that. Like, yesterday. You take a deep breath and offer up the most broad explanation.

“Namjoon, I just can’t be a good friend to you right now.”

“That’s not what I’m asking for.” he simply replies, not missing a beat. Why is he being so stubborn? You’re going to have to elaborate. Forget trying to not make a fool out of yourself. He’s a good person, and he deserves your honesty-- at least most of it.

“I can’t be a good friend to you ever. I’m too consumed in my own baggage right now to help you carry yours. Plus, I’ll have to return to the States soon. I just… don’t want to be a burden on you.”

“That’s… not what I’m asking for,” he says again.

Frustration building up causes you to sigh at him. You’re going to need a little help from this infuriating dimpled tree-man, so you make him give it to you.

“What are you asking for, then?” you inquire with a little sting in your tone, leaving him with no room to continue being vague.

“I am asking to continue spending time with you. That’s it. I enjoy your company.” he says. This answer is still unacceptable to you because...

“I literally yelled at you in a parking lot yesterday, Namjoon,” you say.

“Yeah, but that was…” he trails off and scratches his head, “kind of my fault.”

“You can’t be serious. You… didn’t know.”

“That might be true, but I still hurt you, and I’d like the chance to continue making it up to you. At risk of sounding really cheesy… Part of my job as a KATUSA is to be a symbol of the friendship and mutual support of our two fine countries... To learn from and assist each other... I don’t see why we couldn’t do that too...”

“That… really was cheesy, Namjoon,” you chuckle.

He smiles down at you, and your heart skips around in your chest. When he speaks again, he draws out the first word, clearly in a teasing mood now.

“Okay, but… did it work?” he teases with a sly grin as he side-eyes you.

Part of you wants to tell him no, but he does deserve honesty after all. At least mostly honesty. You want to reveal to him that you know who he is, but you’re unsure of the words to say. He seems eager to stay in your life here, for whatever reason. Compared to what you’ve just been through, nothing can really hurt you again. So what’s the harm, really? It’s not like you have anyone else to spend time with.

“Yeah,” you confess. “It did.”

“So,” he begins, “does that mean you’ll let me show you the museum you haven’t been to yet? There’s this once piece in there that is spectacular. You have to let me show you.”

After a considerable silence, he looks at you with soft, begging eyes and lets out a soft “Please?”

“Okay, Namjoon. You got it.”

You cannot say no to this man.

“Saturday then? In the morning? We’ll want to beat the crowd, especially if you want to explore the whole thing!”

“That works for me. You know, I’m actually looking forward to you being my personal tour guide.”

“Great! I guess you really must be from Georgia. You’re sweet, just like a peach.”

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writingsfromhome · 5 years ago

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Hot Waters

A/N: this one’s a little more dialogue, but you manage a hotel Harry stays at and have to help him with an issue.

Part 2

———————————————————

As a manager of an upscale hotel I saw a lot of celebrities filter through the door. I could probably write a book, my own version of a tell-all exposing some celebs for what they really were. Sometimes the nicest ones were the snappiest and other times, the ones you thought were rude and stuck up took the extra time to thank your staff warmly and treat everyone with respect.

I’m in for the evening—that’s when most of them came under cover of the night, when they didn’t want the papps to know they were in town. Tonight’s guest stays a few feet from the counter as his manager or whoever checks him in. A false name of course, James Smith.

I glance at the man, the soft curls and stylish outfit, strong jawline and lean body. I could tell it was Harry Styles, this was a first for me. I could add him to the imaginary tell-all book in my head: oddly mute but just as cute in person. He looks antsy, fidgeting with his phone.

He catches me staring and nods. I give him my best customer smile and get back to the man finding his ID to show me.

“Thank you sir, here’s the key cards to your suites. Enjoy your stay!”

They barely acknowledge me, he’s already grabbing Harry’s arm and pushing him towards the elevators. Cool.

I don’t think much of it until five minutes before I leave for the night. It had been a long day for me covering since the breakfast shift—the morning manager was out sick. I was ready to fall asleep on my ride home but one of my newer staff comes up to me urgently.

“Hey, Y/N, suite 1203, the man is really annoyed and saying his hot water isn’t working.”

“Did you tell him how to turn the hot water on?” I ask, thinking she didn’t do a thorough job.

“Yes,” she looks upset. “Like three times before he just asked to speak to someone else.”

“Okay...” I wander to the front and take him off from holding. I check our database ahead of time for the name, James Smith. Of course. “Hello Mr. Smith, I heard about your hot water. It should be working-“

“It’s not! I got in thinking it would heat up but I was drenched with ice cold bloody water!” He sounds like a child about to throw a tantrum. I found working for celebs was just like working for glorified children sometimes.

“No other suite has made this complaint, the hot water is definitely working. Would you like a staff member to come check?”

He finally sounds reasonable, “Yes please, that would be great.”

“Let’s go,” I tell the newbie, she was still in training so it would be a good opportunity. But just as I step out from behind the counter an elderly customer walks up and I have to leave her behind. Guess this was my last task before heading home.

I knock on the door 1203 and hear a shout from inside that it’s open. I try the lock but it isn’t so I just use the master key and slip inside.

“Hi, Mr. Smith-“

“We both know it’s Styles,” Harry...Mr. Styles is dressed in nothing but a towel around his waist. His hair is wet and he really looks like a teenage fantasy. And with the way my eyes are glued to his abs, maybe I was reliving some teenage fantasy.

“Mr. Styles,” I clear my throat but from the way his mouth quirks I know the silence between when he spoke and I responded was a little too long. Long enough to notice I was staring. Jesus, I had to stay professional. I recall how he sounded on the phone-he’s just a big man baby, I remind myself. I was just way too single. “I can show you how to turn the hot water on so you don’t run into this again. We apologise for the trouble.”

He sighs, “You don’t need to apologise love, I was just frustrated b’cuz a nice relaxing shower turned into an ice bath.”

I let out the breath I was holding and erase the entry I’d written in my head about him so far. Replace man baby with: don’t judge based off his first impression, might be as kind as everyone says?

“Well we’re sorry about that anyway,” I head to the bathroom. I try to ignore the way he’d made the room personal in such a short amount of time. It wasn’t my job to pry into my customer’s personal lives...but it was so tempting!

I head to the shower and show him where to turn to get the hot water. It was simple but he claims the showers he’s used to, have the hot and cold on opposite sides. I would have pointed out there was an H and C engraved into the handle but the shower is such a small space and he crowds over me as he pays attention, I didn’t want to stay any longer. I’m very aware his towel brushing up beside me is the only thing he has on. I stumble back and compose myself.

“Is there anything else I can get you sir?”

“Please it’s Harry, don’t call me sir. Makes me feel weird.”

“Right, Harry.” I walk out into the bedroom and he follows. “Do you need anything else?”

“Um,” he looks off to the side to think and I can’t help myself—I take the moment he’s distracted to drink him in. He was fine indeed. My eyes catch on his famous butterfly tattoo, actually all of them. It was cool seeing them in person.

“You have any of your own?” Harry asks and my eyes snap up. I feel myself get hot, he caught me staring! But he doesn’t seem angry, he seems to think I was looking at his tattoos. I roll with it.

“Don’t tell my mom but yeah,” I reply. I only had two and managed to keep them secret from my very traditional family. Harry laughs and asks to see them. I show him the wildflower curved behind my ear. His breath tickles my hand that holds my ear down to show him.

“How do you manage to hide that?” He asks. I’m suddenly self conscious he’s studying me so close.

“A little bit of foundation, a lot of wearing my hair down.”

“Surely your mum wouldn’t care that much—you’re an adult.”

“You haven’t met my mom,” I think about her. “She’d say something like, ‘my tattoos are the reason I haven’t settled down’ or something.”

“Bloody hell,” he laughs. I feel a strange high knowing I’m making him laugh, he was being so friendly. Like an old friend. It was rare, but sometimes I forgot a customer was a hot shot musician or actor when I had one-on-ones. That usually scored them a down-to-earth point in my imaginary book. Maybe I just caught him at a bad time earlier, I think as he points to his tattoos, “I don’t want to know what your mum would say to me.”

“Um, Sign my arm so I can ink it probably?” I joke. I warm as he laughs. “She’s actually a huge fan of you, always has plenty of commentary when we watch the award shows. Claims she dated someone who looked just like you in high school.”

Oh god, I was blabbering. But from his expression, he finds it amusing.

“That’s lovely,” he studies my face again and I try not to squirm. I retreat back into professionalism, about to ask if he needed anything before I left—my shift probably ended. But he asks, “You said there were two. What about the second one?”

My body feels prickly, this was a customer and I was about to flash him-well not entirely but showing him where my second was...it was a big no being who I was and who he was!

“Right here,” I casually slap the general area of my underboob when he continues waiting. He raises an eyebrows and I just bite my lip. I was past nervous—at this point I was surprised my legs themselves hadn’t given away.

“May I see?” He asks, his face is intimidating when he asks so seriously. At least he was being polite, and he seemed genuinely interested.

Wait, was I really doing this?

“I...don’t know if that’s the best idea?” I squeak. He flashes me a smile could make a grown woman like me take off my shirt to show him. But I’m frozen in place.

“Is it personal?” He asks. Oh my god he didn’t get why I didn’t want to show it. Maybe I was the one making it a big deal.

Okay, I would show him.

“No, it just requires me to untuck my shirt,” I joke. “But I’m off for the night now anyway so I guess I can...” Every tug of the fabric feels like it’s slow motion, the blood rushing to my ears sounds like the roar of the ocean. He steps closer to me—still only in a towel! And finally I lift up the shit to just under my bra, the tattoo is the words the sun will rise again curving under my boob. It was a gentle reminder I kept close to my heart, and Harry was the first person aside from my best friend I had shown this to. It was strangely intimate.

He reaches out his hand and stops halfway, realising where he would be putting his hand. He retracts it and lets out a nervous laugh. I almost sigh at the missed contact.

“That’s really beautiful. I like the quote,” he says honestly.

“Yeah,” I can barely meet his eye. “It’s a good reminder. I can think of like, 10 worst-case-scenarios at any given moment. So...”

I trail off. The tension in the room seems to have grown in the last ten minutes. I’m inhaling it, and Harry is breathing it. And when I finally make eye contact with him, I can’t tell if he’s judging me or just watching me. He’s chewing on his bottom lip just staring at me, I can’t help but feel initimidated.

“Maybe I’ll get going if you hav-“

“You’re off your shift?” Harry cuts me off.

“Well,” I check my watch. “As of ten minutes ago yes.”

“What would you say to joining me for a drink?” Harry asks. Was this a drink drink? Oh my god, is this what happens when you flash someone your underboob.

“I’m not sure if that would be appropriate,” I feed the automatic line we’re all trained to say. But inside, I’m muffling my heart that wants to say yes I though you’d never ask.

“Well,” Harry says. “You’re just providing superior customer service.”

“But I’m off the clock.”

“So hard working,” Harry jokes. “She stays even after her shift is over.”

“You’re also dressed in just a towel,” I point out. He looks down and even he seems surprised. I laugh, “So that won’t exactly go down very well with my boss.”

“Aren’t you the boss?” Harry asks, his eyes scanning his open suitcase to pull out sweats. He steps into the bathroom—where moments earlier he was demanding a hot shower.

“Sort of, I co-manage. But I don’t own the hotel so...I have to answer to someone. Hey-didn’t you desperately need a hot shower?”

Harry doesn’t even close the door, but a minute later he’s back out in sweats. “I did, it was a long day travelling and I wanted to relax. But you’ve managed to do that for me.”

“Nice to know I’ve got the same charm as a hot shower,” I say cheekily.

“You’ve got more charm than a hot shower,” Harry goes to the minibar. “Now what can I make you?”

“Oh you’re making the drinks? Here? I can just ask the staff to bring up-“

“No, just sit down. I’m taking care of this.”

I boost myself up onto the dresser and watch him mix drinks. This close, I can reach out and trail my hands over his tattoos, see the stubble coming into his face, see the dimension to his hair. I was so totally single, just being this close to someone remotely good looking turned me absolutely gaga.

“So tell me honestly, how this is,” Harry hands me the concoction, watching me closely. I take a sip and nearly snort it out, it was strong.

“I don’t think I could drive home if I drink all of this,” I cough. “That almost went down the wrong pipe.”

Harry takes a big sip of his and laughs, “If you’re driving, don’t take any more of this.”

I settle the flute down and Harry places his down beside mine.

“I don’t have anything else to offer,” he looks at me.

“I can still ring something up for you.”

“I think I already rang up what I wanted,” he leans in, he was flirting. With me! And I can’t help myself. I lean towards him too. I forget where I am and what kind of trouble I could land myself in if I let this go through. I can’t even think straight, I just want to-

His fingers on my face jolt me out of my hypnosis. I lean back and slide off the dresser. I could get fired! What was I thinking!?

“Where are you going?” His brows knit together as I move away from him.

“I should get going home, I’ve been in since 6am.”

“Oh course,” Harry clears his throat. “Yeah-sorry I didn’t mean to keep you.”

“No it’s fine,” I say. “I would love to provide some of that superior customer service. But I really am functioning on one bar right now. I’ve got to go home and recharge.”

“Recharge yeah? A hot shower maybe?” Harry teases.

“Hm, yeah if I can get the hot water to work,” I tease back and I swear he blushes.

“I know a place where the hot water works 100%,” he tilts his head to his bathroom. Now it’s my turn to blush and walk towards the door.

“Alright,” he sticks out his hand when I turn to say bye. I stare at it before realising he wanted me to shake it. “Goodnight.”

I laugh and take it, “Goodnight Mr. Styles.”

Oh for god’s sake, I’m caught staring into his eyes again as we shake hands. He doesn’t let go of my hand and I can’t break eye contact. Finally, he cracks a smile and I look away. I really had to go or I could not hold myself back.

“Don’t hesistate to contact front desk for anything,” I say as I open his door. “And maybe don’t drink too many of that whatever mix you made.”

He pouts, “It’s the only thing keeping me company tonight.” Maybe I was right, he was a big baby. But one who’s cheeks I wanted to pinch. I resist the urge and wave before heading to the elevators.

I let out a breath when I get on. If I wasn’t careful, the man in 1203 could land in me some hot waters, no pun intended. If I wanted to keep my job that I loved, I had to make sure I steered clear of him. For good. And maybe find myself a boyfriend. Because...that was a close one.

#harry styles x reader #harry styles angst #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #fic #writingsfromhome #harry styles fluff #celeb harry

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smugraccoon137 · 3 years ago

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Supergirl Season 2 episode 8 Medusa review part 2

If your curious part 1 was just my breakdown of Kara and Mon-els relationship that got way too long. But as always SPOILERS AND GAY THOUGHTS AHEAD

Me and kel get so excited when Lenas in an episode. Like practically giddy. I can’t help smiling when shes on screen honestly. And yes Katie McGrath is beautiful, but beyond that such a pretty smile and lovely voice. I’m sure ratings started to spike when she joined the cast. Okay enough about pretty girls on to the review

Tipsy fucking Alex though guys I can’t get over this mess of a person.

Alex: if I have to come out to my mom then I choose to do it drunk

Kara: no your not *yoinks beer*

Alex: wait no my coming out juice

Kara Danvers sneaky sneaker extraordinaire can totally interview Lena and find out Cadmus things without anyone knowing. The confidence this goofball has is top tier

Underrated relationship: Alex and Winn though. I really really love Winn and honestly Alex is such big sister energy to both him and Kara.

wow Lenas pretty in the interview scene. A touch of auburn hair from the sunlight really makes this shot and we never get to see her with her hair down. Fan service honestly, or maybe she heard a certain beef cake reporter was gonna come by and wanted to dazzel her.

Lena: hair up is for business. Hair down is for flirting friendship time with Kara

Poor baby thinks she falls short nooooo. Your doing your best godamn your only like 25 jesus. Kara give her a hug she needs love and affection

Kara thinks shes being so sneaky in this interview. Such a golden retriever, bad at sneakin. As soon as she toes the line Lena catches on and kicks her out. Really good acting in the scene, the subtle change in expression to show Lenas guard raising. Good job Katie.

Real quick Lena why is your office so ugly? How do you keep it clean? You spend 99% of your days in this place and its whiter than a hospital room. I hate it. Why is your desk an oval? and why does it have a hole in it? Kara cant eat you out in secret anymore damn.

OOHHHhhhh noooo the fucking gas bomb in the bar what the fuck. EVERYBODIES DEAD JESUS WHAT WAS THAT

Poor Mon-el. What happened at the bar was fucked up, and he feels like its fault when its obviously not.

Love that he and Kara are having bro time playing some Monopoly. Oh no not Kara asking if he likes her. Honestly thought these two had good chemistry in this scene. Im a sucker for dumbass not understanding certain words and phrases. So Kara having to reiterate her questions and finally being like “You don’t want to mate with me do you?” was super fun. Omegaverse vibes mfs. Although I am confused by mon-els reaction “I mean have you seen the kind of women I’ve been attracting?” I honestly don’t know what this means.

Kara internal reaction though: Oh thank god

Wow Kara really just has no regard for her own life, huh? she just opens the door and possibly contaminates herself. It’s good to want to help people, but love you gotta care about yourself too

Good reveal with the fortress of solitude. Oof Kara gonna feel like its her fault all those aliens died and mon-els sick. They do a really good job of showing Karas relationship with her parents through their holograms. She wants so badly to see them again, to talk to them. And she can, but not really. They just aren’t real.

Lena cattily to her mother: im used to celebrating holiday weekends alone at my desk

me to Kara: please invite her to thanksgiving

Okay so Lena being adopted is another interesting parallel to Kara. Also the fact that both Kara and Lena fall into there families shadows, and are left behhind or forgotten. Really interesting how Lena and Karas relationship is so similar to Clark and Lex’s for obvious purposes. Though the CW queer coding the fuck out of their relationship in Smallville really only adds to Supercorp fever. Its always been Homoerotic subtext Harold!

Me watching Lena and Lillian trade verbal blows: Wow ya’lls relationship is fucked up. Lex and Lionelle would spar and fence but you two are on another level jesus

oooooof that last line.

Lena: I know your lying

Lillian: and how could you possibly know that?

Lena: because you told me you loved me. And we both know thats not true

Who wrote this jesus fuck my heart. The PAIN.

Bonus thought Lena thinks Karas smart. Goofball beefcake sneaky sneakster who doesnt know the difference between flirting and friendship is smart she thinks. I love these idiots

Wow Kara just doesn’t wait huh? Oh cadmus is going to be at LCorp? Not on my watch. Lena’s there. I know this because I tune into her heart beat just to check on her cus she likes to work late. Don’t worry Alex it’s for friendship reasons.

That LCorp security guard got princess carried for .2 seconds. Best moment of his life.

God its like dark out. Lenas working on a holiday weekend into the night. I hate this, give her friends.

Lena looks so scared when Kara gets thrown into the giant LCorp sign

And then hurt Kara looking up at her with dread.

Kara internal: fuck don’t come out now. I came here to save you

God I love the protectiveness. Its *chefs kiss*. Hank throwing the beam at Lena and Kara even in her hurt state throwing herself in front of it. Sometimes self sacrifice is gay. But how Lena looks at her after wards like “I can’t believe I’m alive. I can’t believe she chose to save me”. Met with a gruff “Get out of here!”. mm yes this is my kind of content. Fight for me.

I was robbed an aftercare scene but I doubt it will be the last time. (*COUGHS* the “im leaving” phone call *COUGHS*)

Talking about the virus Eliza: what about Lena Luthor?

Kara: What about her?! (super defensive is also a super power maam)

Winn: Luthors can be pretty good actors

Kara: No, I looked into LENAS EYES. She doesn’t know anything about cadmus or her mother

J’onzz: Would you stake Mon-els life on that?

well I guess that really puts Lena and Mon-el right next to each other in priorities huh? Which one is more important?

Wow Lena totally has a crush on Supergirl after that. Flustered dork.

Lena: *laughs nervously* you know that doors not really an entrance

Kara: *upsettit stone face pupper*

Lena: :,)

Okay but the way Lena just says “Anything” all breathless and helpful when Kara says she needs her help. Shes crushin hard

Kara tells Lena her mother is in charge of Cadmus.

Lena: >:(

Annnd the crush is dead. That did not last long. Really love that Lena has such a different relationship with Kara vs Supergirl though, good dynamic having her reactions so different. Which I believe actually relates as a Clark and Lois parallel? Seeing as how Lois has two separate relationships with Clark and Superman.

OOf the way Lenas throat bobs with genuine sadness because who she thought Supergirl was is wrong. Shes just like the rest of them. Thinks Lena is just another crazy Luthor. It hurts

Kara: I know what its like to be disillusioned by our parents, but Im a pretty good judge of character, and you are not like your mother. She is cold and dangerous. And you are too good and too smart to follow in her path. Be your own Hero.

Wow just what a good line. They are capable of some things here and there arent they? Melissa's delivery on this is excellent. And the way Katie McGrath is able to show such depth of sadness and bitterness even from a shot of her BACK is really cool. Great acting in this scene in particular. And I can see why the “desperation to be good” is such a highlighted part of these two relationship. Its the one thing in common between Lena and Supergirl, the place where they can meet in the middle. And the way Lena looks after her as she leaves! AHHH thats the good shit, the pining

Okay big Mon-el scene in coming so if you dont want to hear my ranting skip over this part.

Funny how as soon as Kara has this big impactful scene with Lena full of tension and emotion the writers were like: shit we almost forgot Mon-els dying.

Kara: *staring sadly back into Lenas office kind of wanting to go back in*

Writers: *cough cough* KARA He’s DYINGGGG

Kara: Oh shit right. Mon-el Oh no. My *looks at poorly written handwriting on her palm* romantic interest?

Wow Mon-el looks like shit, poor guy. Someone swaddle this pillow princess and get him some soup.

Heres a question. Kara is visibly upset that Mon-el is dying. Is it because she’s sad that the guy shes likes is dying. Because her friend is dying? Because her father created the virus thats killing him (what the writers want us to think)? Or because no matter what Kara does the people she loves keep falling through the cracks and shes helpless to stop it?

Her parents. Clark. Her adoptive father. Now Lena. Now Mon-el. Why can’t she ever do anything? Why is it always her fault? This poor kid has some deep seeded abandonment issues

Mon-el: you know you look beautiful with the weight of all these worlds on your shoulders.

I do remember my reaction here, cus I thought this was a weird line. A line that was obviously meant to be romantic and complimentary, but it felt unsettled in my stomach. Coming back and watching the scene it sits even more uncomfortably there. He obviously means well, but this line is kind of just shitty. Its a very selfish and unthoughtful thing to say to someone.

Kara’s entire fucking life has revolved around other people and making sure they are happy and taken care of. But having “failed” at such a young age to do the impossible things asked of her (carrying on Kryptons legacy, raising Clark) she overcompensates. Any normal person would just make their life revolve around their family and friends, not healthy but it works. But Kara feels responsibility over an entire world of lost people and lives. So the amount she overcompensates is ungodly. She does have the weight of worlds on her shoulders. This is not a joke or hyperbole. Its just her life. And thats so fucking shitty. And to have someone actually see that and acknowledge it. To make it a reality so to speak. Then to have them say “yeah you look good like this” while you’re a shaking Atlas being crushed. It is just a little too much isn’t it? That pain to have someone see you finally, and then completely miss the point. For them to go “oh wow your so strong. your so brave” instead of “let me help you. you shouldn’t have to do this at all, forget by yourself. But now I am here”.

I imagine this was the scene that crowned my darling himbo boy Mon-Hell? Which is so unfortunate. I hope Im wrong, but I feel that his character might just end up a big missed opportunity

I want everyone to know that me and Kel screamed through the entire enxt few seconds of the scene. We knew the kiss was coming from how they were building it up. But god was it painful, especially for it to be delivered after a line like THAT. But yeah very loud angry screaming

Also not to be that bitch but Kara and Mon-els scene was a total of 1:53 RT, and Kara and Lenas ran at a 1:57 RT. Just sayin...

No Lena don’t be evil thats too sexy...

Okay but the way that Lena just tricks Lillian is so good. Shes so clever. And added bonus she makes her ask for her help, which is nice actually. Lillian's obvious vice is weakness and that is often shown in embarrassment. A woman like this asking for help borders that line of weakness and its nice to see on such a dislikable character. Lena didn’t just get what she wanted she got a point over her mother.

Lena looks good in the purple coat. Repeat she is pretty

Love the mental chess game between Lena and Lillian. Lena offering help right off the bat and giving her the isotope free of charge. And then Lillian making Lena launch the virus to prove herself. Good stuff.

Kara appears: don’t do it Lena!

Lena: why not? im a luthor

Okay so obviously Lena switched the Isotope and the Virus won’t work. But thats what makes this line so perfect. Throwing it back in Supergirls face. Like “Yeah, Im a luthor. And Ill show you what im capable of.” But instead of mass death and destruction Lena saves the day. She saved thousands of lives, and its because shes a Luthor that she was able to do that. Really nice way to full circle that

Wow Lillian really just starts booking it without Lena, huh? bitch

I really love the scene of the virus falling all around National City. The choice of an orangish snow falling was a really really good one. Paired with some excellent music for the mid season finale.

Its sad but I do love Hank just being ready and at peace with death. Im sure he misses his wife and daughters.

Okay but Lena calling the cops is tea. Send your mom to jail honey.

So we’re really not gonna talk about how Lena saved everyones asses? Like don’t you think Supergirl would want to talk to the woman that A) kind of tricked her, and B) saved National City. Thats just what makes sense??? But no we’re going to ignore that the DEO is a kind of shit at their job sometimes. And that the woman that they were accusing of having a part to play in all the xenophobic shit is the one who did their job. BY HER SELF.

Okay rant over. This was a long one review dear god. Really really good episode though. I enjoyed rewatching all the scenes even if it was a mixed bag of feelings. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed all the screaming!

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thattimdrakeguy · 4 years ago

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I couldn’t finish Batman and Robin 2009. It was just... mentally exhausting and I stopped shortly after Bat Dick put fake Bruce in the Lazarus pit. Based on his appearances in Teen Titans, Bruce Wayne: Road Home, as well as his big fan base, I assumed Damian’s character development was executed nicely in his own series. But then again in Gates of Gotham (literally read it just for Cass) he’s impulsive, arrogant and rude to Cass both to her face and behind her back-even after she saved his life 1

Don’t get me started on the sexist things he’s said to Steph. I want to like Damian, but writers don’t make it easy. I got into comics because of batfam fanfics and he was a fave of mine. Dude was extra violent and displayed borderline sociopathic tendencies in his first appearances, cool beans. There’s a lot they can do with a character like that. I just felt like his bad behaviour was never properly dealt with before B&R, and I couldn’t muster the energy to see him through his own series. 2/2

IMO, Damian felt like a Gary Stu at times.

I don’t know if that last one was from the same person or not, but I just got the feeling it is, and if it’s not, then well it blends well enough and don’t feel the need to answer it separately.

Like all I can really say is that I don’t really like Damian. A lot of people confuse that for me thinking he’s an evil monster. I imagine cause I have a Tim icon and other Tims do rage on about that every now and again. As well as just plain taking things I say the wrong way (though I have probably said things in the moment I imagine). But I just plain don’t really like his writing, and if I can’t really read a comic he’s in that I actually like. Idk, I just find it weird to say I like him, when all I really like is what he could be. I don’t feel like that really equals me liking him, cause when I think about it, I kinda realized that meant the opposite, and didn’t wanna project the wrong idea.

But I wanna say this about Damian. He is insanely inconsistent as a personality and character. To this very day. So, as I do with every character, I start from the beginning, figure out what was meant to be by the writers that helped develop them, and figure out what’s in-character and out of character from there. I just feel like it’s the most objective way I can look at anything if I want to review things with standards that are more than just “I like this” or “I don’t like that”.

And in the case of Damian he’s never not been inconsistent. Like one of the main reasons I reread Batman and Robin (or at least Morrison’s run) was for plans of a post about flanderization in the Bat-Family, cause it was pretty rampant in the 00s and still continues often to this very day, and I think is the cause of a lot of lost sales and unhappiness and overall fandom diminishment.

However also to say it, I liked to see a lot of what Damian could be within B&R 09.

But anyways, basically just because I can’t really do a part of the post on Damian without trying to figure out what he was like to begin with, and what he was supposed to be per his creator.

Cause you can’t really tell in fandom. Cause his most popular comics are from stuff that isn’t in the main universe and was purposely a lot lighter, or in the main universe from writers that really surprisingly didn’t get the character despite the popularity--which continues my thinking on it was less about the quality of the writing and more about the lazy fan service. They honestly really flanderized him in a similar yet opposite way then what they did with Tim in the 00s.

And while I can’t act like the sexism and homophobia wasn’t an actual part of the character of Damian at the time--he shows both of those traits in the series (at least the homophobia, cause I’m now realizing that I might be thinking of another series for the sexism). He was flanderized even then by other writers from the different series.

Like how he’s written in Red Robin, is not freaking Damian. It’s not Damian to me. I don’t accept it as Damian. Even a lot of the content of him in Batgirl I even less feel like is Damian--besides unfortunately some of the sexist comments, but they never really proper developed him on that as far as like--actively showing that, at least that I can recall. So all I can really say is it’s uncomfortable, and how they don’t delve into it is the only real reason I say “That actually sadly does fit in with him”. But it’s not like it doesn’t make sense, he was raised to fight, not to handle emotions or feelings, he probably would do and say really creepy things when he has a crush--I just wish they’d actually acknowledge that what was going on rather than sacrificing a good story for more fan service.

The other writers make him too much of a bratty, snotty, kid. And I found that, that is an absolutely terrible interpretation of Damian, because beyond his origin, he isn’t a typical brat, and he doesn’t really act like a kid (in some ways yes, but general mannerisms and personality no). And even then he was a different kind of brat. He was entitled and bitchy in his origin, not immature (at least in the same way) and snotty. They have him act more like some spoiled brat from next door rather than a kid that was abused into being obedient to be what his abusive mother wanted (Talia shouldn’t be abusive, but like I said before, I think the series sucked overall for reasons like that and more).

(I also find that stupid line cutting scene in RR where I presume he was trying to kill Tim to be even stupider, cause Damian wouldn’t freaking do that at that point. They make Damian come off as so stupid in that issue, I hate it. Cause it was all just a cheap way to force sympathy for him, but it doesn’t even make sense when you think about it and is a huge stretch.)

Damian doesn’t make jokes when he’s written better--it’s like his thing. He’s got quite the temper, and understandably why of course. He’s violent with criminals, but he’s also mostly just stoic as his base state when not in a stressed situation, and even shows remorse (which is a big stretch from his origin, but I blame that on the writing which could be very rushed and lazy). He was treated like just another adult for the most part, and it had a weirdly endearing quality despite the maturity of it, and general edge of the series. It was Damian’s place and it worked really well. It just felt right for their dynamics. Damian’s a unique kid, and they respected him for who he was. He just needed help on his morals and stability.

But other series didn’t really get that. He would still be really rude like his origin, and not really the same tone of rudeness (I’m not sure if I can really explain what I mean by that), he’s aggressive, but putting him in Teen Titans never made sense to me, because I don’t see Dick doing that. Dick had a lot more respect than to force Damian to do something like that. Dick was more patient, and while he did lightly smack (not any kind to hurt him any. literally to demonstrate without pain. more taps really) him to teach him a point about aesthetical weaknesses in his costume like the hood, it was mostly done out of finding a way to teach him that would speak to him. So just forcing him to do something he didn’t want to do--which would clearly not work on him--was just contrived and plain bad writing wise. Something they did more as a stunt so they can say “TITANS NOW HAS THE SON OF BATMAN” than to use him well or continue his story in a natural way.

With Cass I can’t say anything, because that’s like the one time he talks to her, and that basically shows their dynamic. So that’s just them, I can’t really say anything on it. If he felt challenged by her I could see him being a total jerk. It really depends on the scenes themselves. I never read the series myself cause I genuinely really don’t like that Batman Reborn era of Bat-Family. Too much of it was just done for publicity and random changes, and for the most part didn’t work much to me.

But overall, at the same time, despite me singing the praises of what Damian could be, and was for a little while. The overall writing for the character arc was super lazy. Stuff just kind of happens, and way too quick to fit in with what they introduced. He just kind of goes “this is right, now”, which makes his whole brainwashing thing feel a bit--useless, and makes how he went from chopping heads off to that in very little time sort of cuts out depth that could’ve really made the series more rereadable. Damian actually comes off surprisingly as a very flat character for stretches of time in the issues because his character arc is never focused on as much as you’d think until they need to be like “Oh yeah...uh, here’s an emotional moment”. Which just felt really cheap to me.

So the series to me isn’t worth it if you want a good story. None of the stories were good to me, I think I was questioning each one cause it was either schlocky, out of character, or both. I know people like Grant Morrison, but they aren’t for me, I’m not a fan of their writing. Damian was a Gary Stu a lot, which they try to explain with the League thing--but having the League give him experimental surgery so he could walk the same day (or next) after being legitimately paralyzed was just way too freaking much to me. But he does make mistakes, so he’s not at base a Gary Stu really--the writing just really stunk badly sometimes.

This isn’t me putting in a bid to say “OH YOU JUST NEED TO READ THIS, AND YOU’LL FREAKING LOVE HIM”, because to be freaking honest, when you already have a bad taste in your mouth, it’s best to just wait a bit till trying again. I read the fandom recommended comics and felt there was so many problems that I couldn’t read Damian for literal months. And he still has a lot of the problems you said. I’m just saying Damian is surprisingly different when written by his creator than others, cause honestly nearly every single other writer for him has gotten him wrong. Like mind-blowingly wrong. He does not feel like the same character anywhere else. It’s nuts.

To put it another way, it’s a generally speaking bad series, but if you want to see what Damian was meant to be like before they kept regressing him, and diminishing him, and turning him into more a joke, and see what his dynamic with Dick and Alfred was meant to be like, it’s a brilliant and perfect series to read it for.

It’s better for learning about them--then it actually is to enjoy it. Because it’s most likely not a series I’m going to be returning too often unless to research something again.

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lilatreus · 4 years ago

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All of my thoughts on Assassin’s Creed Valhalla!

Of course there are major spoilers for the game and ending. I know it’s been out for like three months now but you never know so I’m putting it all under the cut. And yes this is pretty long. A summary is at the end of the entire text.

also pls don’t send me hate like y’all did for what I said about odyssey literally these are just my opinions on the game if u dont care for them pls just skip I have a lot to say about it and there is actually quite a few things that I really enjoyed when playing the game and if u do read it pls don’t hesitate to shoot me messages and talk to me about the game bc I really enjoy the franchise and I need some more people to talk to in this fandom.

What I enjoyed about the game!!

The blending in with the monks/prayers in the streets to get pass the guards!!!!! Dude!!!!! I know it’s like a really small detail but it just made me so happy because it reminded me of when you had to do that in the first assassin’s creed game. It’s a nice touch of nostalgia and really liked it.

The “glitches” (while some were annoying) I’m super super happy that they were kind of bringing back the glyphs from assassins creed two. I loved doing them because I loved trying to get the little movie. It was really nice of them to bring that back so we can get another little movie like the one from AC2 again.

I think we can all agree: Hytham was a great character. I wish he was more involved in the story than already but that’s just me. I really liked his character so much he’s my favorite from the game.

Desmond having some Easter eggs and basically coming back into the series again was great. It was also a nice touch to see the vault from assassins creed three (the place where des dies). It really makes me miss connor and his band of assassins. I miss assassins creed three :( I want more about Connor please put out some more comics with him in it or some easter eggs please I’m begging you. Also fuck u haytham kenway I hate u.

Shaun and Rebecca being back and now it’s canon that they’re together is fucking awesome. I’m actually really happy about that and I missed them so much. I’m glad they’re in the story again. (Rebecca dude I was so worried that she died like no fucking joke I was so upset I thought syndicate really killed her off).

The game itself actually did very well keeping with the lore we were given from assassins creed origins and was actually doing pretty well trying to connect it to the first assassin game.

Speaking of lore I do think they did the best they could to expand upon the not so well liked lore from odyssey and try and fix it but also it did feel a little confusing but I guess that’s just because i didn’t finish the Asgard missions yet so who knows.

The scenery was very very beautiful and I throughly enjoyed walking around and just admiring the view no matter where I was on the map.

Reda just becoming immortal is so funny and the fact that he was just sitting there telling stories about Aya and Bayek.. please my heart. I love them so so much. The letter Bayek wrote??? Soulmates I’m telling you.

Also I did like that they fixed their plot hole for why Bayek and Aya aren’t known for anything history wise in the story (or mainly why Bayek isn’t in the assassin’s history books and Aya, as Amunet, is really the only one written down). I’m very glad that they explained it and I really think I’m just super happy that Bayek was brought back for some easter eggs within the game.

Basim is very handsome and I liked him but I don’t know how to feel about the ending with him. Yes I do love his character and it was super cool to hang around him and do a couple of missions with him but also it felt weird that now you’re technically playing as the bad guy.

Eivor was really cool to play as. I enjoyed running around as them and doing missions. I like the fact that Eivor was basically like “yo you guys [ pointing to the brotherhood ] are fucking crazy but you guys [ pointing to the templars/order of ancients ] are really fucking crazy and weird.” I really loved basically being an assassin and using the hidden blade again. (Yeah I know they technically aren’t an assassin but yknow just an honorary one).

The Canterbury Tales!! The fucking pardoner’s tale!! That was super cool to do I loved those stories and being able to do them in the game made me super happy. I know it doesn’t actually fit the timeline given it wasnt written until like centuries after the game took place but I just thought that side mission was neat!

Fulke was a very cool templar and I thought her character was really really interesting. I wish they did more with her honestly.

What I didn’t like about the game:

So! Speaking of templars! Boy oh boy I have a lot to say for that subject. So for “the order of ancients”:

— I think my biggest problem with this game (as well as odyssey) is that the templars (“OOA”) aren’t actually important to the game anymore. They’re barely in the story now like out of all 20 or so people you have to kill within their order only like 5 or 6 are actually important to the storyline and that’s my biggest problem with it, because now killing the templars is just like a “well since you’re in the area you can kill this dude” and I really hate it. I truly believe that’s why I didn’t like odyssey that much solely bc they made doing the most core part of the video game series a damn side mission and that also goes for Valhalla.

— Also so many of the templar stories, like scenes we get after you kill them, were just so bland. They don’t make them like they used to and that’s another big core part of the series lost.

— They’re straying very far from the main plot of the series and that’s why these last two games didn’t feel anything like an assassin’s creed game. (And you can’t say that “it’s just different because they’re taking place in a time way before the templars were called templars” bc assassins creed origins did very well to changing their game and how they play but also keeping the main goal from previous games: To be an assassin and kill the templars.)

— Also they need to not show us the outline of who the templars are because I could tell who “the father” was as soon as I was able to see the order tab. Please Ubisoft do better.

I know I said this before however the fucking Beowulf mission. My God Did I Hate That. I was really looking forward to the dlc and to see what they did with the story sucked. In Odyssey we got actual Greek monsters and gods and I expected to be given that in Valhalla for the norse deities. And it didn’t happen. (As of right now I can’t comment on the Asgard missions because I haven’t finished them but I’ll probably edit the post and put them in later)

As of right now with the ending and lore shit I’m really kind of indifferent with it. On one hand they are trying to fix the lore that they kind of fucked up in Odyssey by adding more things to explain it better but also that means they added on unnecessary stuff that makes no sense. On the other hand I really hate that Layla is now technically canonically dead because shes now in the grey and basim now has the one thing that would’ve kept her alive. I really wanted them to do more with her like they did with Desmond. I genuinely enjoyed her as a main protagonist and it sucks that she is now dead. Layla deserves so much better honestly!!!!

Also on des: While I don’t want to smack away a fan service gift that includes desmond; it did kind of feel weird that he’s back in the series. Honestly I don’t know how to go about this. I’m super excited that technically desmond is back in a way but on the other hand I wanted them to focus on Layla more and :( Idk man it’s complicated. They have to stop changing the story’s main protagonists Layla deserved to be in more games and hopefully she will be because her “death” felt so cheap. I also wish they explained what happened with her during the year apart from odyssey and Valhalla.

The side missions I have no problem with except for the fact that the little side mission icon just stayed in the place you first show up to to get the mission. I miss the old side mission mechanic bc this new one felt really really confusing and it made me get lost quite a few times.

This one might just be me but I guess they’re expanding more on the gods reincarnating but they’re not focusing on the sages anymore? Like when will Elijah Miles (the newest sage) be shown?? Odyssey fucked up that lore bit but now they’re not even talking about it because any isu god can reincarnate or can take ahold of anyone if they interact with a piece of eden or something. Idk this one little bit is super confusing for me right now and I don’t like that it’s confusing so I will be doing more research on the isu (again) to understand what the fuck is going on with this damn part of the lore.

I know that this is a game where you kill people but this whole game felt so gore-y that I like had to drop it for a bit. Like dude I didn’t really expect that. This one I really feel like is just me. I did not expect to like hear bones breaking when I played it.

The storyline felt kind of all over the place like yes I could understand the big part of the story but also it was all over the fucking place. I just miss the old plot I really do that had a system that was so good it caused several games to follow it’s lead. (I miss AC1 please remaster that damn game)

Also maybe it’s just me but the story felt so slow at the beginning when ur going to England. Literally I hate to say this bc I love this whole series but I was more happy about finally finishing the main storyline than I was while playing the game.

All in all: I did like the game. I did have fun even though some parts were rough. I’m super glad that they got rid/fixed the ship mechanic because I hated every fucking naval battle in assassins creed and that’s something I was worried about doing when I saw that we had longships in the story. The game was enjoyable and it had a lot of great side characters like Hytham, Gunnar, and Yanli. Basim was a treat, though I hope they explain more about him bc I’m going to be honest he’s a bit confusing with this whole loki thing. But yeah this is all I have so far on the game. If you actually read all the way down here comment or like shoot me message to talk about it bc I really really want to talk about the game. Pls pls pls.

#assassin's creed valhalla #ac valhalla #assassins creed #eivor wolfsmal #layla hassan #desmond miles #assassins creed origins #assassins creed odyssey #I’m tagging those two bc I do talk about it within the entire text #I really hope these make sense bc if not they’re just going to sound like ramblings by a crazy person

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potatoesandsunshine · 4 years ago

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Campaign 2 Wrap Up: Anna Potatoesandsunshine Edition

Seemed like it would be fun to go through all the fan content I made for this campaign and try to find at least one thing I like about each thing! Kind of like looking back through a photo album. Under the cut because as it turns out, I wrote kind of a lot! (As in, 21 fics and 3 playlists kind of a lot!)

the sea, once it casts its spell (fjord speculation, what’s up with all this ocean stuff?? the fic)

The first thing I wrote for c2, wayyy in the beginning of things. We had no idea about Uk’otoa or Avantika or anyone at this point, it was pure ocean vibes for my favorite warlock. I really like how hard I leaned in on the “the ocean follows Fjord to land” idea.

so many things will fill my life (but only one will do) (post-campaign cali/jester fluff, written the night of the cali episode and so sweet it could rot your teeth)

This one is just good. I just did good with this one. I’m one of those people who hates their own work the night of posting and then when looking back at it goes, “Wow, this is great.” My favorite thing is the little gifts sent along with the letters! Cali was so fun and cute :)

when the dust does roam (Beau study up to Episode 42, 2k words of Beau poking at the idea of grief)

Best thing I did in this fic was have Caleb-through-Frumpkin bugging Beau about getting some sleep. They really... they’re siblings, your honor.

“ “Fuck off, I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Beau picks the bird up and sets him in the hood of her own cloak, out of reach of any weasels or startled monks in the morning. It’d suck to have to tell Caleb that his Frumpkin got eaten by Sprinkle.” C’mon guys, let’s do the sibling dance.

keep your swords out by your sides (the idea for this was, What If Fjord Has Nightmares From Uk’otoa Every Night and just doesn’t remember them)

Assigning everybody a word Uk’otoa had said for each nightmare in this was a challenge; I went into it knowing I wanted Caleb for Learn and Caduceus for Consume and had to guess the rest - for an angry eye snake Uk’otoa didn’t give us a ton of quotes.

“ He reaches over and runs a hand along the wall of the ship. From his touch, mushrooms begin sprouting.” Caduceus starting to decompose the Mistake in the middle of cooking was maybe the best moment in this story for me. Like, yeah. Yeah. Ok you funky little grave cleric.

strange but not a stranger (Caleb & Jester, in the immediate aftermath of Caleb’s charm in Episode 55)

the first of my “the Mighty Nein won’t have these conversations with each other in canon so they have to be had in fic” ideas that turned into a full-fledged story. I still had not discovered the em dash at this point, so the formatting of this makes me cringe a little bit, but this fic was really about The Emotions Of Being Out Of Control which turned out to be a very big Thing for the Mighty Nein.

now this story was when swords were humble (fake academia mixed with a Yasha study)

Honestly I’m still obsessed with the AU I made here where Yasha was just awakening every sword she used without knowing it?? Why did I use that here only?? That might come back. But the best part about this fic is the citations; me at my most in-joke and ridiculous.

through the teeth of this tempest (Written in the immediate aftermath of Episode 69, Yasha internally trying to break Obann’s control over the course of a month.)

The most “I wrote this to cope with canon” fic out of all of them. I was crying writing this, I was so upset that Yasha was gone ugh just remembering it. Still waiting for past me to discover the em dash, I genuinely don’t know why I didn’t know how to do it and I’ve thought about going back and editing all of these but I’m just Not Gonna Do All That. Anyway, I really like how Yasha catches lightning with her sword in this. We all really manifested that happening.

nothing more than what the losers settle for (Time travel, a series of oneshots where each member of the m9 sans Caduceus went back to a different point in the timeline and murdered Trent Ikithon)

This was my longest fic for c2, so I’m mostly just glad it got finished. This happened somewhere around the time Matt released that set of notes that mentioned Trent in more detail and I hated him so much I just had to write him dying six times. That speaks for itself.

Revolutionary!Fjord was also a good turn. He could pull it off, I think.

we’re gonna show ‘em a thing, or two, or three (Jester growing up fluff!)

I really like how I did Jester & Artagan in this, even though he barely appears. Someone better at songwriting than me please write the Dragon Song. Em dash makes an appearance here but the formatting is still wrong. I Am Once Again Asking For Proper Use Of The Em Dash.

the best things (happen while you’re dancing) (Mid-Episode 97 Divergence, Jester taking the reins at the party + hints of jester/beau/yasha bc i still love my girls so much)

Jester’s a little out of character in this, but not wildly so, and it was for the purposes of a Trapped By Societal Convention plot that I wanted her to mastermind so I think it was fine in the end. I’m still fascinated by the way she unbalanced Ludinus Da’leth in basically every interaction they had, and while their scene feels pretty cliche in this... the cliches are there for a reason. They’re so fun to write.

Em dash my beloved, there you are.

plus thirty-one varieties of sacramental wine (The Galavant crossover that truly nobody asked for, Beau + the monks)

Yeah, this one’s just fun. Not much more to say about it. Critical Role and Galavant are both fantasy, but they’re honestly pretty different in tone, and it was fun to write Beau dropped into a comedy musical.

oh we were sea-bound and aimless at best (Purely angst, a What If The Fjord & Orly Resurrections Didn’t Work fic)

Made myself care about Marius with this one, y’all. What more can I say? Beau having to go from first mate to captain was just... deliciously painful, because she would.

lost my shape trying to act casual (Beau & Yasha during travelercon, another mid-episode fic, this time of 104)

Yasha comforting Beau, who feels guilty for not feeling guilty... That Mighty Nein wasn’t lying, Mind Control and Autonomy can be themes. Another in the “the Mighty Nein won’t have these conversations with each other in canon so they have to be had in fic” tank. They really just... didn’t open up to each other for a long time, which made sense, but I wanted them to.

so long as you don’t mind a little dying (Beau & Caduceus, sometime in the peace talks arc)

Keeping with the Mighty Nein Please Talk To Each Other theme, I feel like I did a pretty good job with the late-night conversation energy of this fic. This was at a time when I was looking at Caduceus, can opener in hand, ready to make this firbolg open up about his feelings. Beau in this is prickly and confrontational but only in service of her friend’s well-being.

amber light, bending (Eiselcross speculation, Widofjord and all the messiness therein)

THE widofjord fic of my two widofjord fics. The blueprint. The better one. Finally I got the dynamic figured out. I maintain that the tower is an absolute expression of Caleb’s love for his friends. The way that neither of them have the braincell in this fic... yeah this one is just good.

and a blade between them (Widofjord happening... sometime.)

Okay so this is not as good as amber light and I will never be able to look at it and like it as much, but it was still fun to write. Anyway, the intimacy of shaving someone else. That is good. The tag “if they didn’t want me to think about the blood pact they shouldn’t have made the blood pact” is the most useful takeaway from this fic and is the driving force behind the Fjord/Jester/Caleb fic I’m working on now, so it wasn’t a waste of time or anything.

feel the ground beneath my feet turn into the sky (Post-Campaign Astrid-retires-to-Nicodranas, Astrid/Jester)

This is another one where I’m like “Yeah, this is just good.” Packed full of Wizard Fashion, Artagan making an appearance to rope Astrid into having a happier future, and the power of Going To The Seaside. Good for you, fic-Astrid.

spend your days biting your own neck (Role-reversal where Beau is the one mind-controlled this time and Yasha is the one chasing after her, set very early in the Tomb Takers arc)

So much of this fic is about not saying things aloud - Beau’s POV spends a good chunk on body language and Yasha writes multiple letters on paper and in her own head - but devotion bleeding through anyway because there’s nowhere else for it to go. The two of them go tumbling over a cliff together at the end but Yasha has wings, ugh. Yeah this was a good one.

and blow the dry leaves from the tree (Somewhere before the beauyasha date but otherwise timeline-nonspecific Nicodranas, Yasha & Yeza become friends)

Yasha & Yeza making pancakes together when neither of them know how to do so... is good. This fic is very much about grief sneaking in, but it’s even more about finding someone to share the moment with you. I think these two have more in common than we think.

oh, lend a mending hand (Caleb & Caduceus during Beau’s tombstone meditation in Episode 130)

I wrote this entire fic as an excuse for Caleb and Caduceus to hug and it does what it says on the tin. Got em.

it’s about the passing of measures (Beauyasha at the end of Episode 134, Aeor speculation)

This fic got extremely sidetracked because I rediscovered the marble machine during it and I do not apologize for that. I still really like the idea that Aeor as a whole, not just the Cognouza, is somewhat-alive. Too much magic and too much death for it to be anything else, in my mind. And I’m a sap for hurt/comfort.

the blumentrio playlist nobody asked for

If I think too much about how deep in each other these three people are I will cry. Made myself a soundtrack for those tears.

the caleb playlist nobody asked for

what if this angsty wizard had a playlist of songs that mostly just... make me want to dance? that question was answered here.

the caduceus playlist nobody asked for

songs about home, leaving home, dying, changing, becoming someone new, coming home and finding it’s changed... this to me is caduceus.

yeah... this campaign has been fun!! I probably won’t stop making things about it; I still write about Vox Machina, for crying out loud, but... it feels good to lay it all out like this. It’s been a long few years, and it’s wild to be seeing the end of it now.

#yes tumblr hates links yes here is an overlong post with 24 links #now THIS is why you make a blog. to look at your own work and say yeah several times.#critical role #i have some stuff i've been working on but i don't see any of it getting finished before the epilogue #looking back at everything is like... yeah! i had a lot of fun here!#anna's fic notes

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1149

What is your age? 22, but there’s less than a month to go before I turn 23.

What annoys you? Literally every single person who still supports the government at this point. For context, we are back to square one and we’re under the exact same quarantine imposed in March 2020 because of the surge in cases. Nothing has changed and nothing has been done in the last 365 days while people are getting hungrier and poorer. I’m done feeling hopeful for this country and I cannot wait to abandon it forever.

Do you have any allergies? Apparently, grass. Can’t be exposed to it for too long otherwise the skin on my thighs turn red and occasionally even get rashes.

Do you know anyone named Billy? Kind of, but they’re girls with their name spelled as Billie.

When is your birthday? April 21st and spending it in quarantine once again this year...

Who is your best friend(s)? Angela and Andi.

What's your favorite candy? I like gummy bears and worms. As for sweets, I really like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Butterfinger, Twix, and the Hershey’s Cookies and Creme bar.

When was the last time you cried? Maybe a day or two ago while watching a snippet from Caught in Providence.

Have you been out of the country? Yes.

Do you daydream? Not so much these days. I’ve been better at keeping my focus at work.

What's your favorite kind of dog? I love alllllll dogs, but I’d usually be wary of smaller dogs because 87% of the times I’ve met some, they’re aggressive or a bit moody. I don’t like stereotyping dogs as much as possible but because I’ve had direct experiences to back it up anyway, *shrug*

What day of the week is it? It’s a Sunday.

How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, poached, or an omelette with lots of fillings. Balut is also great.

Have you ever been in the emergency room? Only when I was born, I’m guessing.

What's the easiest thing ever to do? Idk, what comes easy to me might not be the same for others. But my answer would be to smile, regardless if it were genuine or otherwise.

Have you ever flown in a plane? Yeah, many times. The child-like excitement I get whenever I get on one will probably never go away, either.

Do you use fly swatters? No, my mom usually uses old shoebox covers or rolled-up scratch papers we have lying around to swat them.

Have you ever used a foghorn?: Only in video games lol, never in real life.

Have you pet a goat? I don’t think I have. I’ve pet lots of animals before but I don’t think a goat has been one of them yet.

Are you a giver or a taker? Giver, but I’ve been allowing myself to take more these days.

Do you like gummy candies? Love them.

How are you? We’ve entered summer weather now, so I feel hot and miserable. It’s also Sunday and I am stuck at home, which doesn’t make me the happiest camper.

What's your height? 5′1″ or a tiny tiny tiny bit taller than that.

What color is your hair? It’s black but on extremely rare occasions I’ll catch a single light brown strand when I play with my hair.

What's your favorite ice cream? Cookies and cream and chocolate chip cookie dough. My friend Leigh actually started her own ice cream shop recently and I bought her coffee crumble ice cream, and it is sooooooooo fuckinggggggggg good??????? It’s so rare to find coffee ice cream where I live period, so I’m fucking stoked to have a close friend who makes literally the best one and in generous servings too.

Have you ever ice skated? Many times as a kid. I was never formally trained, but it was something I wanted to try from watching other kids play in mall ice skating rinks; and when I did give it a shot, I ended up enjoying it. Luckily my mom was encouraging and actually frequently dropped me off at a rink so I can practice gliding and all for a few hours while she ran errands.

Have you cheated the IRS? That’s like an American tax thingy, right? We don’t have that here and my employer handles my TIN.

What's your favorite jelly bean? Not a big fan but if I had to have Jelly Belly, I obviously would want to get the pleasant-tasting ones.

Do you tell jokes? Yes.

Do you wear nice jewelry? Only on special occasions.

Do you want to kill anybody? I don’t want to kill anybody but I certainly wish a good number of public officials would finally die.

Do you want to have kids? Yes. I really wish I could still have a future with them. Thanks for the trauma, my real asshole of an ex.

Where did you have kindergarten? Somewhere.

Are you laidback? I doubt my friends would use this to describe me. I for sure lean more towards the uptight side of the spectrum.

Do you lie? Eh, occasionally.

When is the last time you sent a hand-written letter? I have no idea. Christmas 2019 maybe?

Ever talked in a microphone? Sure. Many times.

Do you still watch Disney Movies? I very rarely get in the mood for them if I’m by myself, but yes, I’d gladly sit down and watch should an opportunity come.

Do you like mangoes? No.

Do you have a nickname? 99% of people call me Robyn while my family calls me Byn, but there are a select few friends who’ve stayed long enough with me to catch other names I’ve gotten over the years, which have since become inside jokes/nicknames. There’s Reben and Rolayn, and literally just yesterday ‘Roby’ happened when I ordered food for lunch so that will probably catch on as well.

What’s your favorite number? 4.

Do you prefer night over day? Absolutely.

Are you an only child? No, I’m two siblings away from that status.

Do you wish this was over? I haven’t felt that way, no.

What is the closet orange object near you? An orange tumbler my Kuya gave me as a Christmas gift in 2019. There is also orange tape wrapped around the charger adaptor of my company laptop.

What one fear are you most paranoid about? Waking up in the middle of surgery and being unable to speak nor move.

Do you play any instruments? Nope.

Do you think you are pretty? Some days.

Are you quick to judge people? No, unless they are already blatantly showing their character like being rude towards service staff, tossing their trash to the ground, or cutting in queues. Whenever those things happen I give myself the space and freedom to guiltlessly judge.

What do you keep quiet about? How dysfunctional my family really is, and the things I really want to say about Gabie.

Do you have any quirks? Food-wise, I like peeling off the breading from fried chicken and placing them on the side of my plate so I can eat them last, because they’re my favorite part.

What’s a good reason to cry? Frustration. Crying can be really helpful in lessening stress.

Do you think you're always right? No.

Do you watch reality TV? Not religiously, but I love watching snippets of reality shows on Facebook because they’re all so embarrassing and it’s hilarious to watch hahahahah. Literally last night I was watching clips of Big Ed on 90 Day Fiance.

Are you a social person? More so now than I was years ago.

What states have you lived in? I lived in Manila briefly but it didn’t take long till we transferred to another city for a more peaceful life in the suburbs.

What is your favorite season? I wanna say winter because of what I’ve seen from it in movies and shows, but I’ve never actually experienced it before.

When did you last sleep in a tent? Sometime in March or April last year.

Do you like tomatoes? Mostly in diced form. Tomato sauce is fine but I don’t really like it in my pasta. Bloody Mary also tastes rather awful.

What time did you wake up? 8:30 AM.

Do you have an umbrella in your car? I think so, yeah. I finally placed one in there lmao.

Do listen to Usher? Eh, not really. 2000s R&B isn’t my thing, save for Beyoncé.

Describe the underwear your wearing? It’s light blue.

What’s the worst veggie? I never learned to like pechay. I’d still eat it, but only because I like cleaning up my entire plate.

Do you like movies with violence? Some. Like I hate action movies but I enjoyed A Clockwork Orange and Scream lol.

Where do you want to go on vacation? I recently bookmarked an Airbnb in Zambales and the accommodation is basically this super cute line of tipi-styled huts by the beach. I'd love to have a solo trip push through once this Covid mess subsides.

Ever been on a wave runner? No.

Where do you work? I work in a PR company.

Do you wish on stars? Just sometimes.

Have you ever had an x-ray? Only for mandatory medical exams.

Do you own a xylophone? I think I had a toy one as a kid, but it’s not with me anymore.

Have you watched the x-games? No, not interested.

What did you do yesterday? I stayed at home; ordered food for Angela as a surprise; debated if I should buy a pair of Air Maxes – and ultimately decided I’ve already spent too much this month to deserve a new pair of shows lol; and just settled to buy a new night lamp for my bedroom. I also watched the newest episode of 2 Days 1 Night and ate more of Leigh’s ice cream while doing work.

Do you like the color yellow? Only in mustard yellow. I also like the song Yellow, heh.

What year were you born?: 1998.

Do you believe in the zodiac? No.

Has your bank account been at zero? No. I remember when I was first opening my own account at the bank and the clerk told me to make sure I don’t go below P2,000, and my intensely by-the-book ass has been following the rule ever since, even though my dad has told me it’s absolutely fine to go below it so long as I have P2,000 back in the account after a month hahaha.

Ever been to the zoo? A few.

#survey #surveys

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chronicowboy · 6 years ago

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Carol Danvers did not expect to get attached to another snarky on the outside but soft on the inside man when she returned to earth. She was simply told that a person, immeasurable in his importance and loved more than he knew, was stranded in space. There was no hesitation in her actions, she marched outside and launched herself into the atmosphere; something she'd done a thousand times but this one felt different. It didn't take all that long for her to find the ship, a man wasting away in the cockpit. For a terrible, agonising moment she thought she was too late, but his eyes — they didn't flutter, no, that's far too delicate a word for what they did — opened with immense force and she breathed a sigh of relief before pushing the ship back home. It was a strange feeling that hung in the air when she laid the ship down. Anxiety, love, curiosity, anger, sadness, regret and comfort combined in a concoction of suffocating agony. The man, Tony Stark, exited the ship and immediately everyone rushed to his aid.

It was hours before Carol felt it appropriate to check on him. What she didn't know was with one simple step into the room and question of his state she'd find a new friend. Pepper, his wife she'd found out, and James, his best friend, had dozed off after he'd finally woken up. A telling off of her fellow captain even without knowing the history behind it was very satisfying, but exhausting for the man who was dying just moments before. He had woken up a while ago and sent his closest loved ones to slumber safe in the knowledge that their Tony was back home, tiring jokes and all. She poked her head in, waving a hand.

"Hey, Carol, is it?" He asked in a stage whisper. She nodded, closing the door softly behind her. "Thanks for saving me and all. Big fan of that whole photon glow thing you have going on-"

"You don't have to do that." She muttered, knowing exactly what he was trying to; she knew it like the back of her hand. "Look, I'm not gonna ask how you are because I know you'll just say you're fine in the form of some snarky comment-"

"So you're me, if I was blonde, female and an alien?" The sincerity in her tone made him uneasy just as all captains did.

"I'm of the human disposition, unfortunately. Survived a blast from the tesseract, absorbed its energy and here we are." An odd sense of pride settled in her heart when he smirked. "I don't know what went on with you guys," she gestured to the captain pacing outside with Natasha, "but I want you to know that I don't give a shit. That rant, that was fucking satisfying as anything. And I know he deserved it." She settled into the empty seat beside Pepper as he chuckled. "I've seen the tapes. Of you fighting," and Tony was struck with the terrible feeling that he was going to be made to question his morals. "You're a good man. You fight for what's right, anyway you can, but you still take more precautions than the rest of them to preserve civilian lives. I think we'll get along just fine." They sat there until the morning, getting to know each other. Carol heard countless stories of Peter Parker, the brave kid from Queens, and his far too loyal for her own good wife whilst Tony heard about the ever-aging family she can never manage to say goodbye to when she leaves and tales about a young, two-eyed Nick Fury. When she left in the morning, a bond had already been formed.

Over the course of a very long half-decade where the skies were embedded with a thick pall of ash that was formerly living loving things, Carol dropped by every now and then. Her holographic meetings with Natasha, a woman she'd grown quite fond of, were nice but that was the only contact she had with earth. Her days spent on the planet were reserved for one small, broken family. Catch ups with the Starks. Baby Morgan, who got older each time and Carol didn't like it, staring in awe at the glowing lady. Pepper, who's smile lit up the room, slinging an arm around her shoulders. Tony, who still mourned the loss of his mentee, bringing her into bone crushing hugs that got ever so slightly weaker each time.

When he died, Carol was lost. She had Maria and Monica and Nick back, but at the cost of Tony's life. It was all tainted, but she couldn't bring herself to be angry with the man. She didn't get to see Peter Parker at the funeral, only met him once in the midst of their war. He was a kind boy with a strength almost equal to her own. She instantly found herself vowing to protect him at all costs and she knew that'd mean mentoring him when he was ready to be a hero once more.

☆☆☆

It's a year later when Peter finally finds the strength to go back to the compound. May had called up Rhodey a while ago and asked for his opinion on the subject.

"When he's ready, we'll be waiting. He's an avenger, but we still need time after something like this." James regretted that last part when the kind woman's inquiries into his wellbeing brought tears to his eyes and a lump to his throat.

Peter said he needed a little more time. He thought he should be a normal teenager for a while because,

"It's what Tony would have wanted."

When the day came, May was beyond apprehensive. Peter had been more fidgety than usual, somehow, so much so that she could practically feel the sickening vibrations of excitement and anxiety. She drove him to the compound with tensed shoulders and nervous glances at the passenger seat. Peter smiled at her each time, it hurt to go there with the guarantee of no Tony but he was ready to be back to his normal as can be superhero career. May had to resist the urge to walk him to the door with two strong hands on his shoulders. He could practically see her thoughts and took her hands in his when he was out of the car. She walked him in, greeting Happy with a smile as Rhodey pulled Peter towards the meeting room. They didn't say goodbye. Didn't have to.

"Alright, kid. Now, we're gonna ease you back in. Most of us are away on business, but there's somebody who's looking forward to meeting you. Properly, anyway." He held the door open for him and the blonde lady, Captain Marvel he vaguely remembered her being called in the letters Tony had written for him, turned around.

"Hey, Peter Parker." She smiled. He ignored the way his heart skipped a beat at the small flashback of the battle and let the grin tug the corner of his lips up.

"Captain Marvel?" His words dripped with adoration.

"Please, call me Carol. Captain Marvel is my mother." She joked before backtracking at the incredulous look on his face. "No. Um, not really. I was just joking. All human, you see. Just absorbed the energy of the tesseract so now I can do this," she points a clenched fist at the wall and a photon blast leaves a scorch mark.

"Come on, man. I thought we stayed in contact because we're both the only no nonsense avengers." Rhodey groaned.

"We are, but, James, there's a child in the room. Unlike you, I'm great with kids." She replied coolly, bumping shoulders with Peter.

"Okay, one, I'm nearly eighteen-"

"So still a kid." She interrupted, but was swiftly ignored by the boy.

"And, two, your name is James?" He laughed as Rhodey grumbled something about a headache and walked out.

"Carol Danvers at your mentoring service." She bowed, grinning.

"You're going to be my new mentor?" He asked, shaking off the waver in his voice.

"I mean, I know I'm off world a lot but yeah. I don't see why not. I'm the best influence here. You're basically as strong as me and your webs mean you can fly. Kind of. You get what I mean. The only difference is, I can shoot the power of an infinity stone out of my fists." Peter's eyes widened in awe. The beam on his face ached and he thought it was physically impossible for it to grow anymore. He couldn't remember the last time he'd smiled like this so genuinely. However, the lightness of the air quickly evolved into a serious atmosphere as she sat down and motioned for him to take a seat. He complied immediately, heart freezing in fear of what was to come. "Tony told me a lot about you," and there it was. He sucked in a deep breath and knew his new, out of this world, insanely cool mentor was watching him deteriorate. "Hey, hey. Take a deep breath. Heroes are allowed to be scared. The best ones usually are." She smiled kindly yet sadly. "Do you want me to carry on?" Peter nodded, steeling himself with the necessity of hearing what was to be said.

"I do." He confirmed.

"He told me how brave you are, how strong and kind and respectful. How you'd do anything to please him, but you weren't afraid to stand up to him when he was being stubborn. He admired you more than he'd ever get to admit. Said his biggest regret was not telling you how much you meant to him when you were alive. He loved you, Pete. And, not to make this about me or anything, I knew I would to when you were polite enough to introduce yourself to me whilst holding the doom of the universe in your tired arms." She stood abruptly as her — was that a pager? — pager beeped. "I have to go. Rhodey has your way of contacting me whenever you need me. Whether it's life threatening stuff or you just need to talk, please get in touch." She pulled him into a newly comforting embrace before ushering him out of the door. "I want to meet this 'hot aunt' of yours." He found yet another smile forming on his face.

Happy stopped mid-sentence and looked over May's shoulder. She turned around, fearing the dejected look she was sure to see on Peter's face and the furrowed brow on Rhodey's. Instead, she found her grinning nephew next to a woman who seemed to be glowing. An expression of pure amazement tugging at his face.

"Hello?" May offered her hand. Carol took it, pulling a face of approval.

"You must be the wonder aunt, May Parker. You raised a wonderful boy and the world's safer for it. Thank you." Carol noticed they were still holding hands and blushed slightly as she coughed, retracting her gloved hand.

"Um, thanks?" May asked uncertainly as an inexplicable smile spread across her face.

"No problem. Sorry this has to be an abrupt meeting, but too many planets to save and too little time to save them. Bye, Peter, May." She nodded before retreating to the doors.

"Who's that?" May asked as they watched her shoot off into the sky.

"Carol Danvers. My new mentor." Peter looped his arm through May's and began recounting the wonderfully bizarre encounter he'd just had.

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missoneminute · 5 years ago

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Hackney recollections! A bit jumbled and I will add more if I think of anything! After the cut.

We arrived the day before the show and because we were staying literally around the corner from the venue we wandered by the stage door to see if we could hear any rehearsals going on. It was silent but we did see the band’s equipment being loaded in. We ran into some lovely fans at the bar in the alley that had a view of the stage door, Patrick and his mum Clara who I had met in Australia too! We had some drinks and waited around.

Eventually at around 7pm Sarah saw the huskies first and Peter in his incredible suit. We walked over to say hello. He seemed so happy and so excited and appeared to have walked there with the dogs. We went straight for the puppies and petted then both. He seemed in a hurry so I quickly handed him my gift - a pair of antique cigarette cards as he collects them - and he ran in.

Two minutes later he emerged dashing out looking excited and asked “who gave me these?” meaning the cards. I timidly put my hand up and said me! He said “they’re amazing!” And kept asking where I got them. Apparently they’re quite old and rare and he had my lovely friend Camilla google them. Then he asked if they were real or reprints - I was slightly insulted and insisted they were real! - but he picked at the silk covering to be sure haha! Standard. Then he gave me a hug and kiss and again said they were amazing. I was so, so chuffed to give him something he loved. After taking photos with a few of us, including myself, I asked him if Carl was inside because I heard a trumpet - he smirked and said no he’s not, as if that was the most ridiculous suggestion ever.

I showed him my tattoo of “the luck a penny brings” and his eyes lit up and he said “I saw that in the alley!” I told him I had written it. Not sure he was filming anything that day, so it appears he just wandered through the Up The Bracket alley himself for a little nostalgia. Which is so cool! Then he headed back into the venue.

Carl arrived soon after looking very rushed and hurried and a little unwell, he had a chest cold apparently. He was carrying a kid’s backpack. I handed him a Neighbours Christmas album I got for him literally two years back and he looked surprised - inspected the cover for faces he recognized from his fave show haha - kindly said it’s brilliant then gave me a quick hug. He had to go as he was late for rehearsal so dashed off fairly fast. Apparently he came outside later looking for ‘the Australians’ including myself and Camilla haha but we’d left. He had a beer with Patrick and his lovely mum and shouted them a round.

Next day was the show! We didn’t see them arrive as they were in good and early. Now the show... what can I say. Word got around a few hours before that the Langley sisters would be joining them on stage and suddenly what we all thought was an acoustic set - just them like 2007 - was something else. And won’t lie - there was a lot of concern and disappointment at first, and worry about how it would be received, but we all hoped for the best.

The show was of course bloody epic. The boys looked amazing in their matching Herr Von Eden suits. So impressed by the arrangements and Peter playing far more interesting and complex guitar parts than usual. Both their vocals were spot on and some of the best I have heard them do. Carl admitted they were nervous - telling the crowd as much - and it was obvious, they both seemed a touch tense. Peter also seemed a little more... high than usual which was probably due to nerves too.

But that and the nerves did make the pair of them a little less connected than I would have liked to have seen them. They were so in sync musically but banter was very minimal and there wasn’t the same sense of chemistry you sometimes see. They seemed extremely focused on being very professional and it paid dividends musically for sure.

However because we were so close - like most people in stalls we got out of our seats and stood in front of the stage - you could see how much of that famous eye contact and small gestures were used as shorthand communication. It’s really amazing to see how well they know one another without many words. You could also see them sing mashed lip to lip and mouth to mouth rather frequently - the latter to the point where people seated further away asked if they’d had a smooch as they were literally singing with their mouths near-entirely pressed together at one stage. They really don’t have any physical boundaries on that level.

At some stage during the night a group in the crowd began chanting, “Touch his bum!” about Carl and Peter stopped and asked: “Touch his BUM??” While Carl looked flustered and amused. No bum was touched. It was also enjoyable seeing Peter swaying side of stage when Carl was singing Let it Rain. He seemed really into it and watching attentively.

There were some awesome lyric changes - they did a portion of The Letter and Peter said, “my lonely days are gone, I’m going home, Carlos he sent me a letter”. Then there was the Tell The King change on both nights where Peter sang, “you’re like a tabloid journalist, you cut and paste and twist, like me you’re awful”. Which felt like a nice acknowledgement of recent interviews and such.

Peter also told Carl to “thank the girls” meaning the backup singers and Carl looked at the audience and said “thanks girls!” Which got a laugh. It was then explained to him that Peter meant the singers ha.

Highlights were definitely Bound Together (where Carl sang “we’re bound together by sex and drugs”) and the shared version of Grimaldi, which was just ... astonishing. There could not be a higher fan service delivered in terms of what so many of us had dreamed of hearing. It was even better the second night when they did it again - the way they mixed the two different ways they perform it was just poetic, operatic, amazing. It needs to be recorded!

They’d opened the first night with Seven Deadly Sins but the next night did a medley instead including Can’t Stand Me Now which sounded insanely good acoustic.

After the show we headed out to see if they’d emerge and after a long wait Carl did with Edie and his older son, who in person truly looks a LOT like his dad, he has the whole Carlish vibe. Edie was quite vocally insistent on ensuring he’d leave quickly but he did attend to as many fans as he could. Sarah and I managed to get a hold of him to write out some of the lyrics to Truth Begins to get tattooed. When I said we wanted the lyrics to the song he said, “How much of it do you want? My son’s waiting!” in standard Carl comic tone. He wrote Sarah’s line - all the friends you’ve not yet met - and looked so pleased and touched when he said, “that’s my favourite line too”. Awwww. He was though very very drunk and properly slurring. Then he was rushed off by the missus who was quite insistent in saying that they had a taxi waiting. Peter escaped via a side door so we all headed home on a total high.

Night two was amazing as well, again we didn’t see them come in to rehearsal but heard they’d arrived a lot later that time. You could hear Peter singing from inside however, believe doing MWTLGO. We were seated way higher that time and it did give us more of a sense of how epic the whole musical performance was. While we waited we say Gladys and Narco get loose in the theatre and have to be wrangled by a helper. It was hilarious but I do worry they’re getting enough sleep as they’re so often up all hours.

The show was even better than the night before and Peter seemed more lucid. The two of them were a lot more in sync emotionally and some warm looks and small jokes exchanged, making for more unity than the night before. A group started chanting “We love Carl” and Peter said “Carl loves you too!” And Carl seemed all coy. Peter also invited a round of applause for Carl’s hard work on making Hackney happen which was really moving and Carl seemed touched. Peter then added that he was only responsible for the “cha cha cha” version of What A Waster but it was still being worked out and “may be ready by Amsterdam” which got a laugh from everyone including Carl. The version of Grimaldi was insane that night too and even longer.

At one stage Zeus ran on stage and Carl leaned down and gave him kiss on the snoot! So cute. Carl then brought the mic down to his level and Zeus did a huge husky howl! Massive applause for that haha, then he was led off.

Watching from higher up gave us a better perspective of how amazing the staging and music was. It was really such an operatic gig and what they pulled together in a short time was miraculous.

After the show we waited outside at the stage door and it took a while for anyone to emerge. Peter stuck his head out the top window looking all fluffy and so cheerful and said hello. We were glad he stayed back to spend time with Carl and everyone backstage for a few hours though no window performance as we’d hoped! Katia and Jack were leaning out a lower window to smoke and Jack later came out to lap up some attention from the waiting fans.

Eventually Carl came out and was swamped! @carlbaratnews encouraged him to wish Sarah Happy Birthday and he gave Sarah a lovely birthday hug. They had a chat which she described in her recap. I came over and asked if he liked the Neighbours record I gave him - he said he did - then he rattled off a bunch of gifts he recalled getting from various people - some from us and some from others, and went on about how much he loved the ship cup he’d gotten from lovely Polina @bergamotandbiggles in Melbourne and said he uses it. He also mentioned he had Sarah’s record she gave him last year on his jukebox at home.

Sarah then assured him we both loved Let it Rain - he had said on stage that it’s a song not many people know or like and “If you know it I love you” - and he seemed genuinely touched. I got all emotional at that stage and looked him in those lovely eyes and said of the whole show: “It was amazing, just amazing” and I admit I got a little tearful. He looked quite moved by my ridiculously embarrassing display of fan-girl sop and grabbed me for a hard hug and a big warm smooch. His lips were so damn warm in the cold air and it was ... gah lovely. I’m glad I got to tell him how I felt.

He was then ushered off by Edie who asked how much longer he was going to be, he said ten minutes but she said let’s go now. He stayed another minute to sign my lovely pal Jessie’s ticket but then headed off. Peter left around the same time, through the side door yet again, and a van took him and the dogs away. We didn’t see him leave but a few fans did though he didn't stop.

All in all it was such an amazing night and we got to spend time with so many amazing fans from on here and beyond, who were all having an incredible time. Still can’t quite believe it all happened, and so hope to see them again soon.

It was nothing like most of us expected - nothing, but for those I spoke to that night, it was beyond our wildest dreams. I kept looking at @jessinthesky and @riddle-me-this-blog and @suchasinistergame and literally asking “Is this a dream? Have we fucking died?” It was a show that we couldn’t have imagined could ever come to be, and it was sheer, unbridled joy. I keep remembering seeing Camilla @riddle-me-this-blog just beaming and beaming and thinking wow, yep, this is the feeling I will aways have and always turn up for. No matter how much noise and naysaying there is, it’s those moments that just take us somewhere brilliant. Wank as it sounds - Arcadia, even.

#pete and carl #hackney #personal #recap

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xbananaleensyo · 6 years ago

Text

“I love you” call

Ship: Ohmtoonz

Warnings: mentions of alcohol/drinking

Words: 3,755

Summary: Ohm loved Cartoonz but he doesn’t know. One day, however, Ohm gets drunk and tries to call a certain someone. Aka Ohm is a fluffy, loving drunk and doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut.

A/N: Hey guys! This is my first fic I’ve ever made and I’m pretty proud of it : ) So, thank you for reading it and I really appreciate any likes/reblogs/comments! Have a nice day, yo.

Ohm wasn’t much of a drinker. It just wasn’t something he did much. Sure, he had the occasional glass of wine at dinner parties and the mandatory swig of beer during the Super Bowl but that was all for show. He never really indulged too far into it. He felt, at most, slightly warm from the minimal consumption and can’t remember the last time he truly was drunk. But it seemed tonight was different.

Ohm tipped the bartender and sipped at the bottle of beer he just ordered. He scanned the ballroom, spotting the couple of the night instantly. It wasn’t hard to find them, their presence radiated happiness, true love flush on their cheeks and gentle stares. Ohm couldn’t help the throbbing sensation in his chest. It was accompanied by a slow southern drawl and cheeky grin that tended to occupy his mind, especially in moments like these. He looked at the newly-wedded couple and wanted it, wanted what they had so badly instead of this longing ache. Ohm sighed, loosening the tie on his neck, before taking a gulp of his drink and joining his peers in another round of shots.

“Bye! Thank you for bringing me home, dude! I appreciate you and your service.” Ohm yelled back at the uber before shutting the door and walking the steps to his front porch. He searched his pocket for his keys, reminding himself out loud that he needed to give his driver 5 stars and a good review. She was a nice woman, entertaining Ohm’s drunk rambles during the late night drive. He was suddenly glad he decided to carpool to the wedding venue that morning because, based on the slight stumbles up his yard, he can assess that he was in no way, shape, or form able to drive himself home, Heck, he couldn’t even find the right keys to his door.

“There you are!” Ohm cooed, giggling as he slotted in the key to let him in. Right when he walked through the door, he was greeted with excited paws batting at his ankles and welcoming yips. Ohm was beaming at the sight.

“Tiny! You’re such a good boy! I love you so much.” He said while carefully kneeling and cuddling the pup.

“I’m very drunk, Tiny. So we can’t—we can’t play a lot. But just wanted to let you know that I love you and you’re the best.” Ohm sent Tiny back to his doggy bed after one last pat on his back. He decided that it probably wasn’t a good idea to let Tiny sleep in the bed with him tonight. Ohm closed his bedroom door and plopped on his mattress, somehow taking off his shoes and dress pants on the way. He should sleep he thinks but the alcohol was still running hyper in his veins causing him to feel energized and elated and fuzzy. He felt so goddamn warm, honestly. Like he was so happy and wanted to share the happiness with everyone else. And he should. There was so many good people in his life that deserved it and when was the last time he told them how much he loved them? Not enough! He concluded, already taking out his phone out of his vest pocket. He silently thanked technology for having fingerprint recognition.

Ohm went to twitter first, sending out a quick appreciation post to his fans and followers. Then, to his discord, giving out short but meaningful messages to as many streamer and YouTube friends he can think of. Next, it was his contact list on his phone where he kept the closer people in his life. These were the ones he was gonna spoil with love. Ohm sighed with satisfaction when he hit send on Delirious’ text, stacked with paragraphs on how much he helped him over the years. He went back to his list, finally stumbling on the contact that made his heart burst:

Toonzy <3

Ohm’s thumbs froze over the screen, not quite sure how to start the text. There was just so many things he loved about Cartoonz—which ones should he say first? Can written text even convey all the things he wanted to say? Can he even type all the love he had for him? Perhaps, he should call him instead.

“Hi Toonzy!” Ohm greeted excitedly right after the ringer broke. There was silence on the other line though before another voice spoke up.

“Uhh Ohm? This is Delirious?” Ohm mentally slapped himself, wondering how in the world he messed that one up. But looking at the blurry name on his screen, he can confirm he was, in fact, talking to Delirious. Oh well.

“Oh…oh! Delirio~ Sorry, I tried calling Toonzy. I wanted to tell him some things.” Ohm thought for a second. Even if it was an accident, he shouldn’t let this call go to waste, right?

“But-but, wait, don’t hang up yet Delirious! I wanna let you know some nice things too. Because, because lemme tell ya. You, you, are a wonderful man and I’m glad you’re in my life. I love you and…and you deserve all the love!” Ohm heard Delirious’ happy laughter on the other end, pleased that the other enjoyed his declaration.

“Awww, thanks Ohm. I know, I saw the text messages. Love you too man, really, and I appreciate ya but are you uhhh are you drunk?”

“Nooo I’m not drunk. I’m really drunk.” He answered, extending the ‘really’ for extra effect. He laughed at his own joke. “There was a wedding Delirio~ my…my sister’s. And it was beautiful! There was decorations and cake and good food and dancing and an open bar…” Ohm chuckled again, remembering the open bar quite well. An amazing add-on to an already amazing wedding.

“My sister has incredible taste, Del. It, it was nature-themed! There was lots of flowers and leaves. Trees. And…and it made me realize I want a wedding like that…” And at that moment, Ohm made a mistake. He couldn’t stop his rambling, his mouth wanting to say everything on his mind. His feelings were going a completely different direction now and he felt tears starting to collect in his eyes. “But I don’t think I can! I definitely can’t.”

Delirious seemed surprised by the mood change. He scrambled to find his words before speaking. “Ohm ca—calm down! I’m sure, I’m sure you’ll have a beau-ti-ful wedding with nice flowers and gifts and food! Don’t cry please!” Ohm shook his head even though he knew Delirious couldn’t see him.

“Nooo you don’t understand Jon! I’m gay!” Ohm cried out, trying to make a point through his fuzzy mind. But it seemed Delirious wasn’t having it.

“Uhhh Ohm, we know that already? You told us that like…like last year? And we fully support you and that doesn’t fucking mean, at all, that you can’t have a—”

“No, no listen. You don’t understand. Jon, I’m gay gay. Like…like I’m gay for someone. But I don’t think he’s gay gay for me? Delirious, Cartoonz doesn’t feel the same way, huh?” he felt the ache in his heart again, letting a few tears slide down his cheeks.

“Car-cartoonz?” Delirious sputtered. Ohm gave a long sigh.

“Yeah…Toonzy. He’s funny and genuine and attractive and just gets me, ya know? I just wanna kiss him all the time and cuddle him and…and go on dates with him and touch him and fu—”

“Jesus Christ.” Delirious breath. “You can’t just…just…hold on. Can you hold on? Hold on a sec, Ohm.” Then Delirious was gone. There was a lot of shuffling and mumbling in the background that he couldn’t understand. But before he could figure out what was going on, Delirious was back.

“Okay, can you say that again, Ohm?”

“I wanna fuck Cartoonz!” He declared, hearing more shuffling along with a sharp gasp and ‘not like that!’ protests coming from Del. Maybe, that wasn’t the exact phrase he was looking for. “No, no wait…make love with Cartoonz. Yeah, that. I love Luke. But not like…I love you Delirious but I’m uhhh in love with Luke. For a long time now. He’s, he’s amazing~ And I love spending time with him. But he doesn’t love me…why would he love me…? His insecurities were starting to leak out. Because it’s true. Why would Luke ever like him in a way that was more than a friend?

“For fucksakes why…look, Ohm, I have a good feeling that Luke loves you back. You’re a great guy, don’t be so down on yourself. He’ll be lucky to have you.”

Ohm shifted his weight to the side, his voice quieter than before. “How do you know that?”

“I just have a very, very strong feeling.”

“But why would he—”

“Ryan, just please trust me here, okay?” Delirious pleads. He jumps at the sudden name-drop. Jonathon never calls him by his real name. He also never sounded so conclusive before.

“Okay Jon, I’ll try.” He yawns, finally starting to feel the night catch up with him. But he can’t sleep yet.

“You should probably go to sleep, man.”

“But Toonzy…I gotta call…” he yawns again.

“Tomorrow dude. Better if you’re sober and n-not about to pass out.”

“But…Yeah…true…I’m sleepy.” Ryan starts to close his eyes as he says those words. He tries to relax through the spinning in his head. It feels like a whole minute has passed of him breathing into the mic and he assumes Delirious already left the call.

“Good night, Ohm…”

He barely hears the quiet murmur at the end. Ohm’s interest piqued as it sounds kinda off. It was huskier. Deeper. Ohm almost forgot who he was talking to. But it wasn’t enough to break the tiredness that was closing in on him. Ohm’s body starts to slack, he vaguely feels the thump of his phone as it falls on the bed. His thoughts float in his head, drunk, but specifically drunk on Cartoonz. Memories of hefty laughs, long beards, and southern accents filled his mind before finally settling into sleep.

The morning after sucked. Ohm groans, finally remembering this being a big reason why he didn’t drink much. This part is utter crap.

“I hate myself. I fucking hate myself.” Ohm mumbles, covering his arm over his eyes. He forgot to pull his blinds so the sunlight he usually loved to greet was glaring at his mistakes. His head throbbed, noting that he was still in his dress shirt, suit jacket half-on but was pantless somehow. His mouth was dry and tasted like alcohol and regrets. Suddenly, he heard Tiny bark in the livingroom signifying that there was someone in the house. But before Ohm can process if he was getting robbed or not, his gut fails him and he rushes himself to the bathroom.

“Ohm? You okay in there, bud?” Ohm hears through the knocking on his door and his loud heaving sounds. He recognizes the voice to be Cartoonz and is glad that he decided to give him that extra key.

“Yeah, I’m just, shit—” another round rises up his throat. Ohm is gripping the toilet bowl for dear life as whatever contents start spilling through. He doesn’t notice Cartoonz next to him until he feels hands on his shoulder, massaging his back sympathetically.

“Goddamn Ohm, you got absolutely fucked up. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“Well, nothing is in me now…” Ohm says weakly. Grabbing a towel to wipe off the excess residue off his mouth. He leans on his bathtub, relieved that he can finally breathe. Cartoonz hands him a water bottle which he gladly used to gargle his mouth with before taking two big gulps.

“So, what brings you here, Toonzy?” Ohm asks. Though he’s not complaining that he did show up, Ohm knows Luke isn’t the type of guy to come in unannounced.

“Jonathon texted me this morning. Said your dumb hungover ass needed some assistance, probably. Just think of me as your Alcohol Poisoning Rescue Squad.” He patted the bag he was carrying to capitalize his status. That was probably how he got the water so fast.

“Now come here, child, and lets get you all cleaned up!” Cartoonz hollered, helping him get up and escorting him to the sink.

Ohm just rolled his eyes. “We’re practically the same age, Cartoonz.” But Cartoonz ignored him, opting to the kitchen to probably make food. Ohm looked at himself in the mirror, hissing at his reflection. He felt like shit and looked like shit. That was great. He got to work, brushing his teeth and taking a quick shower to scrub off the grime of last night. Once he was washed and changed into fresh clothes, he felt a lot better than before.

“Pedialyte?” Ohm questioned as he entered the diningroom to find a plate of scrambled eggs waiting for him as well as some pills, a glass of water, and a bottle of Pedialyte.

“Yeah. Del’s recommendation. I don’t drink much so I can’t say but Del swore by that stuff when he did. Oh, here’s your coffee too, by the way.” Cartoonz places a hot mug beside him, the familiar smell wafting through the air. “Made it how you like it too: disgustingly sweet and undrinkable.” He wrinkles his nose at the thought.

“No, you’re just a barbarian and drink it straight black. What sane person drinks it straight black?” Ohm retorts, blowing at his drink to cool it down. He will fight for his sweet-tasting coffee to the death.

“Agree to disagree.” Cartoonz huffs, settling in the chair next to him with his own plate and cup. They ate their food in comfortable silence. Cartoonz hummed and scrolled through his phone while Ohm picked at his eggs. He tried to recall what he did last night, memories of bouquets and shots filled his mind. Then he got home (somehow) and wobbled to his bed. He texted people, he thinks, and he hopes to god that it was nothing too embarrassing. And then he remembers he was talking to someone…didn’t he call Delirious?

Ohm dropped his fork in realization. He did. He admitted his crush to Delirious. And Delirious sent Cartoonz over here. What in the heck…

“You okay there, Ohm?” Cartoonz asked. Ohm didn’t realize he was staring at him. He picked up his fork and cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I’m fine Toonzy. Just thinking through this headache, no worries.” Despite the reassurance, Cartoonz arches his eyebrow.

“Are you sure…? I mean, there’s just something that’s been bugging me and I really should ask.” Cartoonz sighs, setting his phone down on the table. “Ryan, you don’t usually drink, especially get wasted, is there something wrong? And don’t tell me that ‘it was a wedding’ shit. ‘Cause we’ve been to plenty of parties before and you never had more than a bottle or two. You even told me it just wasn’t your scene. You can tell me if there’s something wrong.”

Ohm couldn’t help his stomach fluttering a bit at Cartoonz’s concern. Any delicate attention Luke gave him made it flutter and this time, despite being hungover, made no difference. Of course, Luke was the one to spot the slight intention of his actions. That his night of binge drinking wasn’t just from the atmosphere of celebration. Luke knew him well, Luke could read him. Another reason why he was so in love with the damn guy.

Ohm groaned, wondering how he was gonna tell the truth but not at the same time. He wasn’t gonna lie but he was also not gonna confess. Sober him was still unsure about Delirious’ observation last night. He wanted to trust him but he needed time to think about it, digest it, and besides, he didn’t feel well enough to try anyways.

“No? Yes? I-I don’t know Cartoonz. I guess, I just got carried away and lost it.” Ohm sighs, pushing his hair back and leaning back on his chair. “The first drink was out of courtesy. The second drink was with peers. The third drink was because of the YouTube algorithm and the rest after that was…” Ohm closed his eyes, thinking about the pain in his chest at the wedding, a pain that was too familiar in his life. “…was my stupidness, honestly. I was being stupid. I love my sister, Toonz, don’t get me wrong. I’m happy for her and her husband. I cried at the ceremony. But…but she’s my younger sister, Toonz. By a good chunk too and, I don’t know. I couldn’t help but feel so jealous and, and lonely and—” wanting you. Ohm shook his head, feeling a wave of nausea when doing so, pushing it down along with his heartbroken feelings. It was hard being so in love when he knew he wasn’t suppose to be. He wanted what his sister had at that moment, to love who his heart desired freely. But he was too much of a coward and so drank way more than he should’ve to forget the fact.

“I have a good feeling that Luke loves you back.” Delirious’ voice echoes in his mind. But that’s impossible.

Suddenly, Ohm’s hands are being grabbed and placed on Luke’s lap. His eyes are sad looking at Ohm’s but they weren’t filled with pity like Ohm expected. They were filled with something soft that he couldn’t pin point.

“I’m so sorry, Ohm. I wish you didn’t feel that way. But I get it. I fucking get that feeling. You have no idea. And it sucks. I even thought I was just going to live with the feeling, get use to it. Just for the sake of it.” Cartoonz’s thumb started rubbing the side of his hand, obviously nervous about the next thing he was about to say. He brought their hands closer so they laid on the base of Cartoonz’s chest. Ohm was a little surprised by the gesture. He could feel the man’s rapid pulse beating under his palms. “But that changed, I think. I hope it changed. I feel like I have a chance now when a little drunk bunny called last night…” Cartoonz smirked at Ohm’s confused look while he ransacked his memories. He didn’t call him and just didn’t remember, did he?

“What do you mean by…”

“…while I was in a certain idiot’s livingroom…”

“No. He didn’t. He—”

“…and was put on speaker phone…”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” Ohm proposed, feeling the vibration of Cartoonz’s chuckle. His face was hot from embarrassment and shame. But soon was hot from something else.

“I love you too, Ryan. So fucking much it’s ridiculous. I thought I was saving our friendship by not telling you. I didn’t think we could be more than that and, god, I’m really hoping that what you said last night wasn’t just some drunken dare. Because I don’t think I can handle it if it was just some joke.”

Ohm shakes his head and pulls his hands back along with Luke’s. He presses Luke’s knuckles against his lips, letting it linger before speaking.

“I meant every word of it. There’s no joke. I’ll even say it again sober: I’m in love with you Luke for who knows how long and…I want the chance to show you that.”

Ohm couldn’t believe this was happening. It was surreal how fast it happened, how random it was. He couldn’t breathe but at the same time his lungs never felt so free. He wrapped himself around Luke’s neck, leaning in closer to kiss the lips he’s only dreamt about, but when said man pushes him away with a grin on his face, Ohm couldn’t help but question what was going on.

“Look, Ohm, I love you and all and god do I want you, but I just watched you throw up buckets of puke a second ago. I am NOT kissing you right now.”

“But, but I brushed and rinsed Toonzy! Twice!” Ohm pouted, crossing his arms at the rejection.

“Nope, still disgusting. Not happening.” He patted Ohm’s head.

“That’s rude, Toonzy. That was like the perfect fanfic moment, I’ll have you know.” Cartoonz just shrugged.

“What about take me on a date and then we’ll see about the kissing.”

“Oh. There’ll definitely be kissing.” Ohm said, lowering his voice so it was smooth as velvet. Ohm hummed in success when he caught Cartoonz biting his lip.

“Okay, Ohm, can you stop being a creep and eat your goddamn eggs.” Ohm reached out, however, not wanting the moment to end just yet.

“Wait, what time are you free? To take you out, I mean.”

“Does tomorrow sound fine? I have to do some recording with Del in the morning but I can catch dinner.” Ohm scanned his schedule in his head, happy he was due to record in the afternoon.

“That’s perfect.”

“You’re perfect.” Cartoonz said, giving a quick peck on his forehead. Ohm sighed into the kiss, leaning his head on his shoulder to try to engulf himself in Cartooonz’s embrace. He wanted as much of him as he can get. He needed to catch up somehow.

“You know, I can’t be mad at Delirious if this is the result. I know his intentions were good and he knew we just needed a catalyst but I still want to kinda punch him in the face, ya know? Maybe just the shoulder. But only just a tiny little bit.”

“Oh, I’m way ahead of you. No one breaks your trust on my watch.” Cartoonz takes out his phone to show him a picture of a sleeping Delirious. In it, Delirious seems to be cuddling an owl-shaped Teddy Bear that Ohm recognizes as the birthday gift Vanoss gave to him a couple years back. Ohm notices that the picture was from a message thread between Cartoonz and Vanoss himself with a caption that said: He sleeps like this every night. Take this as you will.

Ohm cracks up, shaking his head in disbelief. “That’s amazing but savage. They’re both going to have a heart attack. You’re unbelievable.”

“But you love me.” Cartoonz says, lacing their fingers together.

“Yes, I do. And you love me?”

“Yes, I absolutely do.”

#banana writes #banana bus squad #ohmtoonz #was not suppose to get this long but i got carried away lol #fun fact: based on my best friend who gets really loving when shes drunk #and then starts calling everyone shes knows #i get drunk love texts from her when im not with her lol #i love you all that read

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bigskydreaming · 6 years ago

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Young Justice Season Three spoilers

YJ Producers: We have a Muslim superhero this season, look how great she is and how progressive we are!

Actual YJ episodes: Okay so Muslim superhero might be a bit of a stretch since well, if you wanna get technical, she’s actually a sentient piece of alien technology whose soul went into the body of a dead Muslim girl when her original alien tech got smushed. But even though she continually insists that she is not Gabrielle Daou, the Muslim girl whose body this was originally, and that’s the entire reason she chose a new name for herself, she is a completely different person aka a non Muslim, not even human person - she still wears a hijab! Totally counts!

YJ Producers: We always wanted to portray LGBTQ+ superheroes, we’ve actually had one the whole time and you just didn’t know it because mean old Cartoon Network wouldn’t let us show it, now that we’re on our own we can and will be showing LGBTQ+ characters this season!

Actual YJ episodes thirteen episodes into the season: Error 404 Content Not Found

YJ Producers: We’re finally gonna include Cyborg! Victor Stone is in the house, we love and appreciate that character so much, we really wanted to wait until we could do his story justice!

Actual YJ episodes: So see, after getting gruesomely almost-deaded after a huge blowout fight in which we showed Vic has a lot of rage cuz Black Teenage Boys Are Just Like That, that was all aimed at his dad for not showing any interest in his life and for never showing his son he cared until now cuz Black Dads Are Just Like That, well okay, yeah that sucks, but what happened NEXT is really cool - so his dad saved his life, right? Even if it was by using alien tech that every single person he came in contact with kept telling him wasn’t like normal tech, it was sentient and thus yes COULD be bad, which was further demonstrated through the fact that said life-saving tech kept like...hijacking Vic’s own body and turning him into a rage-monster that we could totally show being a Stereotype of Black Teenage Boy Aggression as he remorselessly hunted a terrified Violet but it wasn’t his fault, he was totally powerless to control his own actions cuz of the Evil Alien Tech in his body and like wait, whats bad about that, I forget the question??? Oh right! But stop WORRYING, its all good, see, as long as he stayed around Violet and never went too far from her ever, the woman of color had magic rage-pacifying skills that existed solely to calm down the Stereotypical Angry Black Teen when he couldn’t control himself because Reasons. LOL WHY ARE YOU UPSET, WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT, THIS IS A GOOD VICTOR STORY, ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???

YJ Producers: We love and value our characters of color and would never hurt them, we’ve actually taken steps to make sure of that!

Actual YJ Episodes: Violet and Vic are both practically unkillable, see? As proof, watch us violently murder Violet in every single episode in new and creatively gruesome ways, with bonus Vic near-death experiences that allow us to show him just utterly wrecked in ways we’ve never shown a single white character, even in this season when we’re all about showing off how much creative freedom we have now without CENSORSHIP!

YJ Producers: This season is also going to focus on the stress and mental health issues that go along with life as a superhero, and who better to demonstrate this by suffering from superhero-related PTSD than Jefferson Pierce? The guy whose divorce already showed the stress and relationship issues that go along with life as a superhero (since all our white heroes in relationships are still going strong)!

Actual YJ Episodes: Oh, nothing say about this one huh, PUNK? That’s right, we actually did exactly what we said we’d do, see? Just look at how much time we spend talking about how traumatized Jefferson is and how miserable he is after killing a kid, and that’s nothing we’ve ever done (or would ever do - SHH THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW THAT) to a white hero! PLUS, like, he’s definitely getting better though, thanks to the support of the much younger character he’s surrounded by, instead of y’know, turning to his established friends and colleagues his own age for support! AND AND AND don’t forget about his growing relationship with the white doctor lady who is definitely NOT super creepy and NOT likely to betray him and break his heart and/or force him to make painful decisions when choosing between her and the kids he’s vowed to protect at some climactic point later in the season that all of that is super clearly not building towards!

YJ Producers: And don’t forget about Jaime Reyes and Virgil Hawkins and Mal Duncan and Raquel and Karen! They’re all still here too!

Actual YJ Episodes: We’ve definitely forgotten that Jaime Reyes and Virgil Hawkins and Mal Duncan and Raquel and Karen are all still here too.

YJ Producers: Major life events have happened to these heroes offscreen in the time we’ve been away from them, stuff that’s really shaped who they are and who they’ve become by now. All this stuff really matters, its how we’re different from other shows, we don’t pretend these characters stop existing the second they’re off your screens! Looks, Barbara Gordon is in a wheelchair! She’s Oracle now!

Actual YJ Episodes: Why would we bother to explain when or how this happened with even a single line of dialogue when The Killing Joke exists and is available on our streaming service? You sound dumb.

YJ Producers: Kaldur is our proof of how important our characters are to our over-all universe, look how far he’s come! He’s not Aqualad anymore, he’s AquaMAN, he’s one of the co-chairs of the Justice League, right up there with Wonder Woman who he definitely doesn’t need to turn to for approval or oversight of his actual decisions!

Actual YJ Episodes: We’re pretty sure we covered all this in the two minutes of screen time Kaldur’s had all season!

YJ Producers: Look, bottom line, this season, being away from Cartoon Network really allowed us to stretch our wings and flex creatively, we’re doing a lot of stuff with this story that just wouldn’t have been possible before, when we were on a network like CN and had overseers restricting our every move! This season gets a lot darker, a lot more mature, a lot more everything cuz freedom of speech baby! That’s what its all about!

Actual YJ Episodes: In support of our thesis, watch us up the graphically violent content of every single episode and kill lots of people instead of just cartoonishly knocking them out and carting them away to jail! That’s it, that’s everything we wanted to do that CN wouldn’t let us, that now we have total freedom to prove in a myriad of ways! What do you mean, what about *looks at smudged writing on hand* LGB - look we can’t be expected to read what that says when we have graphic violence to depict, fuck yeah!

YJ Producers: Besides, in happier news, its not all doom and gloom this season! Connor and M’Gann got engaged! Now that we’ve completely moved past all the stuff M’Gann did in S2 and don’t consider it worth mentioning, Superboy and Miss Martian are back together, and SB is totally gonna marry the woman who betrayed him in the one highly specific way that goes back to the very source of every trust issue he has and reason he has so many walls pushing people away!

Actual YJ Episodes: Yeah this is definitely happening. Suck my dick, Connor fans and fans who relate to and identify with SB and his story and think its maybe just not the healthiest to wave a wand and go “Happily ever after!” With, y’know, the guy whose greatest canon fear and paranoia is the sanctity of his mind being violated and being unable to trust that his own thoughts are really his and not just being spoon fed to him in a pod at Project Cadmus or by his telepathic girlfriend when she doesn’t like his opinion or his criticism of her actions and just doesn’t want to fight about it anymore. Look, she said she was sorry, get over it. What more do you want? For Connor to move on and have a healthy romantic relationship with someone who he doesn’t ever have to wonder if his trust in her and second chance is real and valid and not just her making him say and do what she wanted, like the way she definitely has before? For him and M’Gann to rebuild their trust over time, gradually, as friends, with the understanding they can be close again but romantic intimacy between them specifically probably isn’t in the best interests of the guy who will always have to wonder now if his thoughts are really his, no matter whether or not that’s true? Yeah, no, that sounds like a lot of work tbh, and really, we just like Miss Martian and Superboy together, they’re just cute, you know? Sides, we killed Wally and we don’t actually wanna talk about why Barbara’s paralyzed now and like, focus on her as a character, so what other longterm pairings do we really have? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THESE ARE ALL OUR OWN CHOICES AND IF WE WANT BETTER FOUNDATIONS FOR OUR CHARACTER DYNAMICS WE SHOULD MAKE BETTER CHOICES? UGH GET OFF MY BALLS, MAN.

YJ Producers: We’ve got Terra this season, and we’re doing some really cool, brand new things there.

Actual YJ Episodes: Slade’s Apprentice arc from Teen Titans the show and The Judas Contract in the comics, but really aren’t they the same thing? If you think about it, is it even possible to do that in a new way? Look, its not like we could do anything MORE original than that, like what, did you want us to have Tara genuinely be the good and loving sister she was when she reunited with her brother and expressed how traumatized she was by the things she did when she was supposedly being mind-controlled, actually invested in saving other trafficked meta-kids from being used and hurt the way she had been? Like, the way it seemed she was being written before we revealed it was a fake-out and she was actually working for Slade exactly like those other times we swore we were gonna be more original than that? Ugh why are you so unrealistic, dude, you have such weird expectations.

Me: Like dear YJ, you’ve still got me watching, because like a) I’m weak and I need this, b) nostalgia, c) Dick, Artemis, Connor, Jefferson and the chance of Jason and also Violet, Brion and Vic are all still enjoyable as characters even though your treatment of them and your narrative choices are all extremely suspect and also craptastic and also I really wanna punch you for a lot of this.

But goddamn, this was NOT your best work, and after years of waiting only to get this? Like.....so not crash, dudes. Not even a little bit.

#young justice spoilers

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angrylizardjacket · 6 years ago

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ask you destiny to dance [7] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

“What did you do? Ash is more pissed at you than usual.” Brian’s looking covertly between Ash wiping glasses at the bar, and Roger, adjusting the height of his high hats a few weeks after he’d confronted her about August. She hadn’t spoken to him directly since then, but the other band members were starting to catch on.

“I didn’t do anything-” Roger tries to protest, but Freddie’s laugh cuts him off.

“He made a comment about Pocket Rocket’s dear friend.” Freddie adds, having adapted to the nickname with ease, an amused smile on his face as he looks at Roger over his shoulder.

“You mean her boyfriend.” Roger snaps, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ash tense at the bar, giving away her eavesdropping, though he didn’t call her out on it.

“Ash isn’t dating that guy, he’s like forty.” Brian laughed, but Roger caught the way Freddie’s expression darkened, though he didn’t dwell on it, and Roger’s own smile became knowing and bitter.

“Yeah, listen Bri, I know what I said.” He responded venomously, and the mood around them sobered considerably. “I don’t like him, okay, he’s too old for her,” after a beat, he wrinkled his nose, “got a dickhead aura.”

“You’ve met him once.” John points out, trying to lighten the aura. Roger just bristled at the statement.

“Rog is just fond of her,” Freddie cuts in, voice a little condescending, smile mischievous, “let him be jealous, it might take him down a peg or two.”

“I’m not bloody jealous of that creep!” After a beat of feeling particularly hurt, and Freddie’s commenting hitting a little too close to home, he hears himself lashing out, “And how low do you think my standards really are, Freds?” And that shocked Freddie into silence, eyes wide and disbelieving, his eyebrows raised, as he turned away, jaw clenched.

“You really are just trying to burn that bridge while we’re standing on it, aren’t you?” Brian shook his head, sighing heavily as he went back to his guitar.

“Roger,” John said carefully, coming over to speak quietly to the drummer, as the rest of the band turned away, uncomfortable, “let me get the drinks tonight.” And it’s not what he expected to hear, but when he looks to John, John’s looking over at the bar. Ash is making direct eye contact with him, her customer service smile looking mostly threatening as she keeps polishing the same spot on a glass. “Because that woman is going to spit in all of your drinks and make you watch.” John explains, now looking to Roger, who’s expression was carefully neutral, trying not to betray his own anger at himself. “And as much as I love our dear Pocket Rocket, it’s not something I particularly want.”

She’s definitely gone back to hating him, and he didn’t realise how much it would hurt.

The worst part is that she’s so damn happy around everyone else, and he hates himself for being hurt by that. He’s angry, but not at her (never at her, not for something like this) he’s angry because he sees the way she smiles at him from behind the bar, and he sees the way August spends more time looking at the girls in the crowd, though she can’t even tell from where she’s standing. Roger’s angry because she fucking gushes about August - “He’s just made tenure!” - and yet he won’t even touch her if there’s someone else around. He’s livid because she’s so clearly in love with him, but she still can’t bring herself to tell the others his name because she knows - knows - something’s up with August, even if she doesn’t want to admit it, even if the others can’t see it.

Except that’s not the reason she doesn’t say his name.

“He’s here at every show, we should say thank you.” Brian tries after a gig, talking mainly to Roger and John, as Freddie had been giggling with Mary, the two of them in their own little world. Ash is nowhere to be seen. Roger takes another drag of his cigarette.

“Heaps of people are fans of us, it doesn’t mean we have to personally thank them every time.” Roger scoffed, but Brian made a noise in the back of his throat that sounded like he disagreed.

“It’s a show of good faith, we should at least shake hands with-” and he paused for a moment, brow furrowing, “what’d she say his name was again?”

“Doctor Reid, if I recall.” John piped up, and Brian shifted his weight, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, but what’s his first name? That sounds so formal, like, ‘Oh, can I grab you a beer Doctor Reid?’” He put on a voice, laughing at his own joke, looking to John, who just shrugged helplessly.

“August.” Roger’s voice is very quiet, hunched in on himself sitting in the back of the van. Brian frowns, leaning in a little, confused as to both how Roger has kept this for so long, and what the name actually was. “His name’s August.” Roger repeated, voice heavy but louder this time. Freddie freezes. “She calls him Gus.” He adds.

“You’re joking, right?” Freddie says into the uncertain silence, and that’s the moment that the back door comes crashing open and Ash comes out, grinning, hands in her pockets.

“Hey guys,” she grinned, nodding at them, not even sparing Roger a glace, “could I have my jacket back? You can drop the pants back tomorrow if you like.” Freddie turns to her, eyes wide, disbelieving smile still frozen almost painfully onto his face, not removing the oversized, blood red velour button down shirt Freddie had been wearing over a black singlet.

“Is that man we keep seeing Gus?” He asked, voice scarily neutral. None of the others had ever heard him like this, had barely heard Freddie genuinely angry like this, and Ash’s expression dropped.

“I’ve gotta go.” It’s not the answer any of them expect, nor is Ash turning on her heel and heading back into the pub before the door had even swung fully shut. Turning back to the band, they could all see that Freddie was livid.

“I’m going to gut the bastard. Gut him like a goddamn fish, I swear I will.” He seethed, hands curling and uncurling into fists, staring at the gravel. It was as if the air around him was snapping with the electricity of a storm. Looking up, all Freddie could see was how shocked the others were, even Roger, and he clenched his jaw, forcing himself to calm down.

“That’s the bastard that ruined her life.” He admitted through clenched teeth. “Roger’s fucking right, the man’s no good.” And Roger couldn’t even take the moment to bask in the vindication that would have usually surged through him at being told he was right, instead, his blood runs cold.

“He what?” Mary asked softly, and Freddie’s expression softened, looking finally between all of them, realising what he’d said.

“He’s the reason she was expelled from her last university, and...” Frowning, Freddie shakes his head. Brian, John, and Mary all took a moment to process this new information, shock written all over their faces. “It’s not my place,” and he started on a new strand of information, “he was her teacher, he started a clandestine affair with her when she started university, and,” pausing again, he sighed, the anger still clearly flowing through him, though it had simmered down to a bitter rage, “not my place.” He repeated.

“Doesn’t he have a wife and family? How old was she?” Brian asked, a little aghast, and Freddie sighed.

“She was eighteen.” Freddie sighed.

“She was a kid.” Roger breathed, anger bubbling up inside of him.

“Hey, that’s only a year younger than me.” John pointed out, but Roger turned on him.

“Oh, I’m sorry John, are you having an affair with one of your teachers that we need to stage an intervention for?” He snapped, and John’s face fell, and he looked to the ground.

“I’m just saying she was an adult is all, doesn’t make it right, but she can make her own choices.” He paused. “She seems happy.” Both Freddie and Roger deflated at that, they’re all quiet for a long moment, and without a word, Freddie heads inside.

“Ash.” When he says her name, she looks up with an expression that tells him she’s ready to fight.

“He’s different now, Freddie.” She tells him, already defending herself and the man who she knows in her heart probably doesn’t deserve it. Freddie was ready to fight him the moment he heard August’s name, and he didn’t even know the full story. Sure he could gather the impact it had on Ash, but he never really truly realised the effect August had on her.

“What does that mean, Ash? What exactly is keeping me from coming over here and beating him bloody with my microphone next time we play here?” Freddie asked, voice very serious. Pulling off her apron, Ash told Maureen, who had been eavesdropping on the conversation, that she was knocking off for the night, which Maureen agreed to, and Ash walked around the bar and took Freddie’s hand.

“We’re not having this conversation here.” She hissed, pulling him into the staff bathroom and locking it behind them. “I love him.” She said through gritted teeth, crossing her hands over her chest, looking away. “And after everything I did, I think he still loves me too.”

“After everything you- Ash do you hear yourself?” Freddie takes a deep breath, steadying himself, holding her shoulders, “He start an affair with you, his student, refuse to be seen with you in public, and used his power within the faculty to kick you out of school when you wanted to stop-”

“I only wanted to stop because I found out he was engaged when his fiance found out about me!” Ash cried, as if it were somehow her fault. Freddie actually stepped back.

“Found out about you- He was engaged?!” He whispered, eyes wide and horrified. “Darling that’s nowhere near being your fault. He had a whole town calling you a slut and a homewrecker; he didn’t love you, he ran you out of Scotland.”

“He ran me out of Fife.” She spits back the correction. “I would know, I was there.” But she doesn’t seem to connect to the words he’s saying, it’s as if she’s replayed the events in her head so many times that she’s become desensitised to it. “But he’s changed, I was practically a kid last time, I’m different now too. And if he didn’t love me then,” she looks a little hurt as she says it, and Freddie doesn’t know if he wants to hug her or shake some sense into her, “well I think he does now.” After a beat she ducked her gaze, voice becoming a weary sigh as she leaned against the counter. “Listen, Freds, I’ll keep him out of the bar, you won’t have to see him, but this is my life.”

“Don’t make the same mistake again-”

“He’s told me that Kira’s his ex-fiance, so I don’t think she’ll be a problem.” Ash rolled her eyes at Freddie, who opened his mouth to protest that that wasn’t the point, but she added. “Can you get Roger to shut up? I’m sick of hearing him bitching.”

“Did something happen between you two?” Is what Freddie finally finds himself asking.

“I could get used to this.” Roger grins at her when she brings him a cup of tea in the warm light of the late morning, a book under one of her arms. She keeps using the mug with the cat faces on it for him, he’s started calling it ‘his mug’ and maybe she’s started calling it that too in her mind.

“Yeah, well don’t. You can get your own tea next time.” Ash laughed, sitting up beside in bed, cradling her own tea in one hand, pulling out the book with the other.

“Just show me where everything is, I think I could manage.” Roger chuckles, putting his free arm around her where she’s sat back against the headboard. “What are you reading?” Looking at him with a little surprise, Ash smiles slightly, taking a big gulp of tea, putting the mostly full cup on the bedside table before tucking herself against him, opening up the book.

“I found it in the common room, it’s one of those trashy romance novels,” after a beat, she closed the book, keeping her place with her finger, showing him the cover, where a woman was posing sensuously with a hand on a beautifully painted horse, “but I think she fucks the horse.” Roger snorts at that, his arm tightening around her just a little.

He doesn’t have an answer, just laughs, reading with her when she opens the book back up. It’s soft and domestic, her head on his chest as they both read the novella, sipping their tea on occasion. The blinds are down, but there’s still stripes of light peeking through, hitting the floor with golden light and the room feels warm and hazy. They stay like that for a long while, Roger actually becomes rather engrossed in the story, and when Ash shifts to lean over and take a sip of her tea, he takes the book to read ahead a few lines. When she turns back, she just watches him for a moment, a fond smile slowly spreading over her face, and when he finally looks up, realised he was caught, she leans forward, pressing a kiss to his lips, sweet, her hand coming up to cup his cheek, and when she pulls back, he’s smiling back at her, a little confused.

“What was that for?” He grinned, and Ash shrugged, ducking her head to hide her blush.

“I dunno, maybe the book got me going.” She lied easily, and Roger’s expression turns a little unreadable, though it’s clear he doesn’t believe her.

“We weren’t even up to the hot part!” He countered, and Ash laughed, taking the book from him, but he stays holding it, lets himself be pulled with it until he’s meeting her for a kiss, his hand on her wrist when he lets go of the book to move up her arm and start sliding off her dressing gown. “Not that I’m complaining.”

Yeah, Ash had thought, I could get used to this.

“Hello, Ash?” In the present, Freddie waves a hand in front of her face. Ash’s expression soured as her chest began to ache.

“No, okay? Nothing happened between us, Freddie. Roger’s just being a bitch.”

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#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x oc #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #freddie mercury #borhap imagine #brian may #bohemian rhapsody imagine #queen #queen imagine #john deacon #ask your destiny to dance fic #mary austin #the angry lizard writes

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postedbygaslight · 7 years ago

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The Problem With (Forced) Happy Endings, or, Why I Hate The Phantom of the Opera

Yesterday, I was messing around on here and suggested that I hated the way The Phantom of the Opera ended. Then, I got the following ask:

I thought I’d respond briefly, but then things got out of hand. So, @lushkitten1989, as promised, here’s way more than you bargained for.

There are many, many reasons to dislike Andrew Lloyd Webber’s monolithic Broadway musical, The Phantom of the Opera. So, I’ll dispose of some of the lower hanging fruit:

The story is dependent upon Christine being so naive that she doesn’t realize she’s getting music lessons from a guy behind a two-way mirror.

The phantom is a one-trick pony, defined almost entirely by his obsession with Christine. It’s never actually clear what he seeks to achieve by gaining de facto control of the day-to-day operations of the theater (other than merely being able to exercise that control— which may be the point).

Raoul is as interesting as a pet rock. He is unbuttered toast. He is Mom Jeans.

The music is intermittently great, but just as often annoying as hell (to me, for example, the “Angel of Music” motif is grating and uninspired).

Those are fundamental, but relatively minor complaints. Phantom has a lot of strengths. The chemistry between the Phantom and Christine is very pronounced, and, at times, shockingly blatant in its sexual themes. Some of the songs are timeless classics (“Phantom of the Opera,” “Music of the Night,” “All I Ask of You”), and some of the sequences, like the chandelier crashing down on the stage, and the ensemble pieces, like “Masquerade,” are very accomplished.

But where Phantom really shines is building a very genuine feeling tension between what propriety and social mores tell Christine Daae what she should desire, and what she actually desires. Phantom dabbles with Bride of the Monstrous themes, but never goes all in on them, and the result is a muddled, confused mess of a story— one that could have been very, very good, but wasn’t courageous or forward-thinking enough to capitalize on its opportunities.

See, the problem starts with Raoul.

Yes, wonderful, handsome, unthreatening, rich, devoted, patient, loving, convenient Raoul. The honorable Vicomte de Chagny, no less. He is our erstwhile Socially Acceptable Love Interest™️. From the moment he’s introduced, it’s clear Raoul is meant to be Christine’s white knight, swooping in to rescue her from obscurity. The plot contrives to have him coincidentally happen upon Christine, his childhood sweetheart, now a chorus girl at the opera house he favors with his parents’ fortune.

Now, I know what the Phantom fans might say: Raoul is here to allow for a juxtaposition of dynamics, placing him as an anchor point to which Christine can return, reminding her that she is more than the Phantom’s pet (or pupil, or lover, or what have you). But I’d counter that he’s really here to act as a stand-in for society’s expectations for how a well-behaved woman should conduct herself. Raoul is young, conventionally attractive, affluent, and, most importantly, chaste.

Christine’s connections with Raoul are explicitly drawn as being rooted in childish notions of affection. To wit, Raoul First greets Christine with a modified nursery rhyme she was read during their brief time together as children. He visits her in the soft-focus glow of her dressing room, showers her with praise, and proceeds to not listen to her when she insists she can’t go celebrate with him. More than that, he dismisses her objections with little more than a hand wave. The point is, he sees her as a child, and treats her as a child.

Look at what happens the moment he leaves her alone. She looks into the mirror, and runs toward the dark reflection behind her own image (heavy symbolism of Jungian animus here). From their very first physical encounter, the Phantom engages Christine as a sexual creature, and the difference in her reaction is, well:

Once alone with the Phantom, Christine is no longer the child so idealized by Raoul. She’s a young woman seeking instruction of a different kind from a strange reflection of herself whose instructions have suddenly changed from anodyne singing lessons to exhortations to “feel the music of the night.”

The next time Christine is with Raoul is when they share their duet, the excellent, “All I Ask of You.” I say excellent because, like other tentpole numbers featured in Webber musicals, the song itself is brilliant, but, in the context of the play, it’s less inspiring. This is rather like “Memory” existing in a pop culture space entirely divorced from its origin in Cats, and I’m certain there are a fair number of people who simply identify the song as a soaring Barbra Streisand number, rather than the mournful plea of a neglected alley cat.

“All I Ask of You” is preceded by Christine trying to tell Raoul about her fear of the Phantom, and her growing unease at the magnetic pull he seems wield against her. Raoul’s immediate and repeated reaction? Something to the effect of: “There is no Phantom of the Opera. You’re imagining things. Don’t be silly.” The song then drives this home:

No more talk of darkness—Forget these wild-eyed fears—I’m here, nothing can harm you—My words will warm and calm you.

The call and response Christine and Raoul have here is staged as a sweet love song. And it is. But it’s also a proposal from a young man to a young woman, where the man suggests she abandon her desires to exist as a sexual being, and come be with him, where he’ll act as her protector against such base instincts.

And this tactic works. Christine is not so frightened of the Phantom himself— she pays lip service to being horrified at his murderous tendencies, but seems aware he would never harm her personally— as she is frightened of her seeming inability to resist her attraction to him.

Raoul positions himself as a shield Christine can hide behind so she never has to grow up. He prefers her as the girl who enchanted him when they were both children, and he’ll go to great lengths to keep her innocent and doe-eyed. Is it any wonder that Christine doesn’t want their engagement to be public? (Yes, I get that Christine doesn’t want to risk the Phantom’s wrath should he discover their impending marriage, but the whole thing looks more like Christine being very unsure as to what she really wants).

Raoul, who seems to be the only person in the play who continues to explicitly deny the existence of the Phantom into the second act, is, oddly, the first to run for a weapon when the Phantom shows himself. He’s the one who pushes Christine to acknowledge (falsely, I think) that her attraction to the Phantom is nothing more than a side-effect of Daddy issues. He insistently pushes forward with a plan to permanently rid both the Opera Populaire and Christine of the Phantom despite Christine’s warnings that Raoul doesn’t really understand what he’s fighting against. More than that, Raoul insists that Christine offer herself up as bait, and to do so publicly, an overt expression of control, of making her choose her loyalties in front of everyone.

Let’s pause a moment here before we get to the inflection point of the play. What I’m referencing is, of course, the aptly titled “Point of No Return,” wherein the true nature of Christine’s relationship with the Phantom is made public. I want to talk about the Phantom.

Throughout the entire play, the Phantom is presented as a sympathetic figure coded to represent misfit and outcast elements of society. He refers to himself as a “loathesome gargoyle” and confesses to Christine that he lashes out at the world and makes others fear him because he feels it’s his only choice for survival. But he also confesses to her that he secretly dreams of love and acceptance, and being able to live as he is, free from the condemnation of the wider world.

Yes, the Phantom expresses his displeasure with being defied in very unhealthy ways, but here we are again at the Death and the Maiden trope, wherein our heroine is the only person who is able to see beyond the darkness that both conceals and protects the man behind the mask. Here, Christine should be acting as the Phantom’s succor, a balm to his constant pain, and, in playing that part, she is meant to end his curse, or blunt its effects sufficiently enough for him to find peace. And, in return, the Phantom ought to provide Christine with growth beyond her childhood, and, in this version of events, usher in her sexual awakening and facilitate her passage into womanhood.

And it’s all set up to do that, for those themes to be realized, by the time the finale is cued up. Then, everything just goes to shit.

The Problem

If you’re unfamiliar with the way The Phantom of the Opera ends, you may want to stop reading.

After Christine stops Raoul from killing the Phantom in the graveyard, Raoul and the other peripheral characters contrive a plan to lure the Phantom into the open and kill or arrest him once and for all. The plan is simple enough. The Phantom has written an opera (aptly titled Don Juan Triumphant), and has ordered it be performed with Christine as the lead. Everyone assumes the Phantom will strike during the performance, most likely to claim Christine as his bride (or something like that).

Now, I posted a little joke earlier about what happens before the plan goes into effect. Raoul goes to Christine to comfort her and prepare her for her role in the trap, but Christine is very nervous about it. She tries to convey to Raoul why she’s apprehensive about the whole plan, but, again, Raoul doesn’t get it, and insists that Christine is getting worked up for nothing.

Of course, what ends up happening is “The Point of No Return,” the high point of the whole play, where the Phantom sheds all pretense and makes an overtly sexual appeal to Christine. And Christine, who’s supposed to be playing the role of Don Juan’s paramour, reciprocates the Phantom’s ardor, resulting in a very, very sexy sequence between the two of them. All while Raoul watches from the Phantom’s favored balcony (Box Five), and something like this happens:

The Phantom speaks directly to Christine, saying:

I have brought you— so our passions may fuse and merge— in your mind, you’ve already succumbed to me— dropped all defenses, completely succumbed to me— now I am here with you— no second thoughts— you’ve decided—

To which Christine responds:

I have come here— hardly knowing the reason why— in my mind I’ve already imagined— our bodies entwining, defenseless and silent— now I am here with you— no second thoughts— I’ve decided—

This whole time, while the call and response between Christine and the Phantom reaches its fever pitch, Raoul watches, and understands the depth of his miscalculation. More than that, he’s horrified and repulsed by this display of lust from his innocent Christine. The mere suggestion that she might be complicit in the Phantom’s passions is something that, it can be observed above, threatens to break his world apart.

Thematically, this mirrors Raoul and Christine’s mutual declaration of chaste love in “All I Ask of You.” Which is important, because once the Phantom and Christine have crossed the metaphorical and literal bridge that separates them, and are embraced for all the world to see, the Phantom expands his entreaty, shifting from the blood-racing heat of “Point of No Return” to a soft, pleading reprise of “All I Ask of You.” He wants Christine to know he doesn’t just want her body, that he doesn’t just view her as a possession. That he loves her, just as much or more than Raoul.

And here is where Phantom could have become something great. Christine breaks free of the intoxicant of lust for the Phantom and turns to face him. He is emboldened, and reaches a more confident crescendo, saying

Anywhere you go, let me go, too— Christine, that’s all I ask of—

But the Phantom never finishes his sentence. Christine makes her choice, for sure. She does this. In front of the whole world. When the Phantom is most sincere and vulnerable.

Now, I might have been prepared to forgive Christine this mistake if not for the scene earlier, when she and the Phantom were alone, and she tried to remove his mask. He lashed out at her then, and proceeded to explain his sensitivity to being exposed. He opened up to her and revealed his vulnerability. And, above, when the Phantom has finally allowed himself to hope that Christine’s affections are sincere and reciprocated, she betrays him.

It horrifies me.

For the rest of the play, all the sympathy the audience has been conditioned to direct toward the Phantom is inverted. Christine shows affection to him only to trap him. She even kisses him, leading him on again, for no reason but to quell his rage toward Raoul. Even after his beastly rage has subsided, Christine can only chide him for being monstrous in body and spirit.

This haunted face holds no horror for me now— it’s in your soul that the true distortion lies—

The arc presented for the audience— to sympathize with the Phantom, and to experience with Christine the fear and wonder that can attend the awakening of sexual consciousness, is utterly squandered.

But why?

Happily Ever After

The answer is as simple as it is disheartening: because Christine is supposed to end up with Raoul. Raoul is her destined love interest because the plot demands it, and no other reason. The two of them don’t grow as a couple during the course of the play. Their dynamic as they leave the Phantom’s lair is unchanged from the dynamic they presented when Raoul came to see her in her dressing room at the beginning of the play. Even after being forced to acknowledge Christine as a complicated and sexual being, Raoul elects to ignore that, and champions only freeing her from the Phantom’s corrupting influence.

To come to this point, Christine’s character actually regresses, choosing to retreat behind Raoul’s promise of perpetual innocence and naïveté. The narrative turns from one of growth and sexual agency to one that urges the rejection of what is unpleasant to acknowledge. Christine essentially chooses to marry the nice guy with the trust fund, stays at home to raise the kids and play the doting wife, and occasionally allows herself moments of indulgence to fantasize about the tall, dark, mysterious man she always wanted to fuck back in college.

To make matters even worse, the Phantom is abandoned to misery and solitude. His suffering is rewarded with more suffering. Christine leaves him without hope or promise, and the Phantom remains shrouded in the dark, pining for Christine for the rest of his life. Through trusting and hoping for acceptance and love, the Phantom is shown only the futility of seeking either. The way this plays out is deeply disconcerting, going so far as to set up a prologue and epilogue set fifty years later, after Christine’s death, with a grieving, crippled Raoul learning that the Phantom is still alive. This represents a casual erasure of Christine’s presence from the narrative, and, worse, diminishes her role to that of the object of the struggle between two men over a young woman’s emotional and sexual destiny.

This is an ugly, sad, wretched story. It’s not a story of yearning or forbidden love. It’s a story about rejection and denial of desire. It’s a story about choosing what society deems acceptable over the needs of the self. Moreover, it’s a story about being afraid and remaining afraid.

There is nothing affirming or beautiful about this story. And I fucking hate it.

#phantom of the opera #phantom x christine #raoul de chagny #christine daae #happily never after #what a waste

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