#can you tell i still dont know how to write these posts nor how to take my own problems seriously 😂😂😂

[berrymeter]

heyyyy my laptop fans brokeeee help

hieeee it's me again :3c (on the verge of combusting) (like my laptop)

so! my laptop is no longer very viable! woo! you know what that means! yeaaah i'm asking for help again wooooo joy & delight!!! cheer & clap for capitalism!

i'm probably gonna need at least 600 for this so that's the goal i'm setting. not happy about it but i'm still disabled so working isn't exactly getting easier especially when my one option for "working from home" is being dragged right from under my feet

that said! while it's still semi-functional i can still do emergency c.omms of sorts! i was reworking my prices but guess we're here now. all will be fully shaded because i really can't be assed working out sketch & flat prices while my laptop is taking a billion years to let me type this out.

headshot: 10€ half-body: 25€ full body: 50€ + additional characters are half the price of one!

i'll draw any & all sorts of characters. if you wanna tip extra for background feel free but unless it's very detailed i'm not pricing it lol

now for art examples!

dunno if this showcases enough but that's already a buncha pieces... so yeah! naturally you may contact me on here about any inquiries.

now, if you don't have any ideas for art, that's o.k. too! 👍👍👍 gifts under the form of a gentle few bucks in my ppal account are most certainly a delight!

my ppal, btw. catboyapologist if it doesn't link right.

in any case, yeah! guess you'll be seeing this on your dash a bit more. considering the amount needed. ha ha. my birthday month is just cursed for me i suppose. awesome

0/600 👍😟

[notthestarwar]

are you normal or do you print out your ao3 comments and make them in to a little book so you can look at them all together when ur feeling sad

[damagedcoda6669]

Hey Lucifer, i'm sorry I am telling you this since ik you and Al are close, but that's exactly why i'm telling you this...

As you know, Al used to be in birdie drama spaces, and he still is, but just under an alt.

Remember the borderline 12 drama? Al made that happen to see how the public would react since he is planning bigger things. He wants to see how fast your "fans" will turn on you, and he wanted to see how many would defend you. He knew doing the borderline 12 thing would get you in trouble, he even was surprised with how well it went considering YOU posted it when he actually wanted to post it on his account and mention you drew it.

I know this since i'm also in birder drama servers, but I just think Al is taking it too far...

He is truly playing the long game and trying to solidify your trust within him so that those leaks that are happening cannot be traced back to him. Al has truly formed an attachment to you, but not in a good way.

That borderline 12 drama was also to test your loyalty to him and it worked since you believed that he meant no harm when all he truly did mean was to harm you. You may think Al is genuine and would never, but just try to analyze a few of his messages pertaining to birder drama.... that's all i'm going to allude to because I don't want him to know who i am. I don't want him to doxx me.

I will say, Al does share a lot of interests with you and he does find you fun to be around, but that's because he sees you as a toy instead of a person.

Just- please be careful with Al, he is betraying you behind closed doors and PLEASE don't listen to him when he says all the anon's are lying, they are just scared of him finding out because right now he is really favored in birdie drama spaces since he infiltrated you so well.

Ik you might not believe me since i said I was in birdie drama spaces and i will admit, i do talk bad about you.... However, I never leaked anything nor have I been involved in what Al has been doing. I am mainly a lurker and to gain trust in the birder servers I just regurgitate the hate everyone else has for you. I feel really guilty, which is why i'm writing you this.

Other's have spoken out in anon asks on your moraltonz account, and Al was really upset with them and tried doxxing them to get them out of the birdie servers he's in so his plans don't get foiled by them, since he knows you get paranoid easily. Al is really worried about you finding out about him, so I'm hoping you get to this ask.

You may believe it's people trying to ruin you Lucifer, but other asks that pretty much imply it's birdie haters was just a tactic used to try to get the people truly coming forward to be discreditable.

Also, read my username and think back to all the birdie drama and all the people involved. I won't say too much, but I hope you can get what I am alluding to. If not, it's ok.

TLDR;

PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH AL, LUCIFER. Please.

It's disheartening what Al is doing to you, with all the leaks, with the ploys, with how he talks about you, and just with everything he is doing.

Al has not stopped interacting in birdie drama spaces, he lied to you.

I truly think Synni is your only friend, because even though she used to be in birdie spaces, I don't think she has an alt.

I'm sorry i'm telling you all of this considering how close you and Al are, I really am sorry he is doing this to you. /gen

the lengths u guys go 2 2 try 2 induce my paranoia/delusions n turn me against ppl u dont know is crazy. if this is true, if u actually cared abt me, use ur main. say it 2 my face. give me evidence. ALSO ADMITTING U SHITTALK ME AND ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE IN BIRDIE DRAMA SERVERS IS CRAAAZY. I AM NOT GOING 2 LISTEN 2 A WORD U SAY, U R JUST ADMITTING 2 BEING A BAD PERSON. if u feel sooooo guilty, why r u still there? if al was rlly leaking shit in these spaces, scs and evidence wouldve gotten back 2 me by now. itd have spread online and id be able 2 see artwork n images that i havent sent 2 anyone besides them. also??? stop misgendering them??? weird ass

anyway yeah, good lie, u fabricated an interesting story, but gimme some proof. gimme gimme i want those discord scs that dont exist *rubs my hands 2gether nefariously*

heh u dont know this but.. jotaro is leaking everything

[tangerinesilk]

－ I CAN SEE YOU : TANGERINE X FEM!READER

tangerine is going on a solo mission… well, at least he thinks he is. with lemon missing by his side, he’s left with one other option that is supposed to make his job easier. unfortunately for him, you’re not the easiest to work with. stubborn, strong-minded and feisty. you’re both so alike yet nothing has made your bloods boil more than each other. 

rating ✷ r (18+ minors dni!)

warnings ✷ (very quick) smut: fem receiving, kisses all over bodies, a needy but quick hj, p in v, dirty talk, praising, implied rough (consensual) sex / others: cursing, drinking alcohol, mention and use of guns and violence, male hurting female (?) but not between main characters, mentions of blood and wounds.

tropes ✷ enemies to lovers!!!, person a is all talk no bite + person b knows that but still pushes them, playful banter, hiding together in small spaces, fake dating (?), if one is hurt– the other goes a bit crazy, says ‘i dont care’ then cares 5 seconds later. 

word count ✷ 6k!

songs that fit the vibe ✷ i can see you - taylor swift | moth to a flame - swedish house mafia + the weeknd | king of my heart - taylor swift | attention - charlie puth | nonsense - sabrina carpenter

a/n ✷ so i made a poll a months ago and this trope + pairing won! i’ve honestly been wanting to write a dave lizewski one as well and got a request idea. so.. we will see lmao. i will probably post then maybe edit later if there's still things i don't like... also, if you couldn't tell but im kind of a swiftie so i will love to write fics inspired by whole ass albums y'all.

but i hope this is what u guys expected and wanted. i actually do love writing for tangerine. just gives into my delulu thoughts. also, if you guys would like a plain pwp fic and not all of this fluff and dialogue stuffed inside, pls let me know bc i am definitely into that idea. 🫡

“You had to go and get yourself shot… then you wonder why you have to wear a bulletproof vest. Fuckin’ hell.” 

Tangerine kept his voice at a hushed tone, basically talking under his breath as he strutted through the grand hall of the hotel. Golden light glossed over his figure, passing by couples who were at standing tables with their cocktails.

“Well, Thomas said-”

“Thomas didn’t say shit. Don’t get me fuckin’ started now.”

Lemon already knew Tan was in a bad mood. Another Thomas the Tank Engine factoid wasn’t a playful move right now.

“Hey, mate. Don’t get all fussy wit’ me. You’re just mad about your new partner for the night.” Lemon rolled his eyes.

“Can’t believe I can’t be held accountable of myself. I can handle it on my own but you had to call the fuckin’ princess-” 

“She’s good. Your denial is obnoxious, bruv. It’s only a night, you get in and get out.” Lemon replied, holding his wounded side as he laid in his bed back in England, “What happened between you two that you’ve got beef like this?”

“No time to explain nor do I have the patience.” He arrived at the small bar to the side of the room, “If I leave her behind, can I take half the pay that’s supposed to be hers?” Tangerine asked.

“She’s supposed to be wearing a red dress. You’ll see her there… and please don’t cause a scene.” His brother begged.

“No promises.” He replied before hanging up. 

Tangerine blows a sigh past his lips, quickly asking for his drink of choice before scanning the mass of people around him. His blue eyes could only search so fast for the man that the hit was called on, causing him an instant frustration when he’s already worried about you ruining things regardless of how long you’re together.

“He’s next to the woman in the tacky gold ballgown… about two feet away from the ice sculpture.” Your soft voice suddenly spoke next to him, “But, I didn’t need to tell you that, right?”

The smirk on your face burned at his nerves and you noticed the clench in his jaw.

“Well, if it isn’t the fuckin’ Queen herself.” He said in a stern tone, “What? Germany was too borin’ for ya? Had to figure out a way to ruin someone’s operation?”

“Lemon is the one who called me in, and it isn’t about you. It’s about the pay out… you’re bound to screw something up with your ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ tactic.” You trailed, rolling your eyes as you turned your head away.

“And I’m certainly not afraid to use that tonight and not your fucked up, painfully long mind games like some fuckin’ psycho thilling killer.” He spat as his drink was place in front of him.

You narrowed your eyes at him, “Fuck you.”

“Darling, I’m flattered, but we have more important things to do right now.” He lowly groaned, purposefully looking at his target so his back was facing toward you.

Behind his tall stature, you glimpsed past his shoulder and saw your target chatting up a woman. 

He won’t be smiling for long, you thought.

“Alright, I’ll wait for him to slip away, follow him and you go through the kitchen.” Tangerine said under his breath, keeping quiet for only you to hear him.

“To go where?” You ask, walking around him to stand face to face.

“Erm…” He sighed, “Whatever car or vehicle you got here in, drive yourself back to whatever place you’re staying and I’ll figure out how to wire you the money.” He shrugged, downing the rest of his drink.

He took a step but you placed your hand on the center of his chest, “Not so fast. I’m not going down if you make a mess of this.”

“I don’t make messes. Well, actually, I get away with them once I’ve done ‘em so, I don’t need to worry about a liability.” Tangerine smirked, a bit of a tilt to his head. Cheeky bastard.

“The only liability here is the one who is ready to pull the trigger in his back.” You said before huffing, “I’m not sorry for what happened in Paris, but that was my choice. So, I’m going with you because it’s our operation. You know… I don’t need a fucking helping hand either.” You practically growled.

The two of you held a long gaze, creating a tense eye contact before he sighed, “Didn’t even say anythin’ about Paris, but if you’d like to assume I’m still mad ‘bout that, be my guest, princess.”

His shoulder bumped yours, making you clench your jaw before quickly following behind his tall stature. While he seemed persistent, you grabbed his hand which made him stop in his tracks in the middle of the dance floor.

He turned, “Am I your babysitter?”

“No, you’re my date. Hold my hand, you idiot.” Your eyes pierced through his.

As he looked down at your hand, he slowly grasped it, your fingers intertwining with one another’s before he proceeded through the glamorous crowd.

Couples swayed and waltzed between each step you took, assuming you were unnoticed by your target. Tangerine kept his eyes on him, easy to with the frosty-white full head of hair he had slicked back. The woman in the tacky dress ran her hand down his shoulder, pressing her lips to his ear to whisper something which made you and Tangerine veer to the side at a standing table.

“Are they movin’?” He asked, facing his back toward them.

Your eyes smoothly shift, taking a quick glance at the assumed couple. You ran your hand down Tangerine’s arm, accidentally feeling how toned his bicep was through the thick fabric of his suit jacket. You almost glanced down, wanting to give another squeeze before clearing your throat. A heat rose on your cheeks as you turned your head to face away from him.

“Y-Yeah, near the bathroom. There’s also a backdoor that leads up to the second floor… lots of private rooms for reasons that are obvious.” You said in a hushed tone, moving away from him to the other side of the table.

“Alright, since you wanna tag along, I’ll follow them and you cover the door.” Tangerine suggested once again.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “You do understand what teamwork is, yes?”

He chuckled, “Yes, I go up there, shoot a few rounds, then we make a getaway.”

“Will you just trust me?”

“Your trust means nothing… I need to know you’re not going to fuck anything up. Just like in Paris.”

You smirked, “So you do have that against me.”

“Well, it’s not like it was your best. Leave me with a shot in the arm, Lemon on the ground and you, little miss greed, get away with your cash. If we all did this job for money, we wouldn’t be riskin’ our lives just runnin’ around killin’ or resucin’ people just for someone’s dime. You obviously do though.”

You narrowed your eyes, “You don’t know me…”

“Nor do you know me so…” He huffed, “Let’s just do what we have to do.”

There was tension between you, as if there was more fo a protective instinct than hate toward one another. You couldn't figure out Tangerine’s deal. Why was he so hostile toward you? Yes, what happened in Paris was fucked up, but he wasn’t the type to hold a grudge. He didn’t take shit from anyone, so why were you getting under his skin?

“Shit!” He grunted under his breath, seeing your target disappear into the hall.

The two of you hurry, yet still try to act casual to not raise eyebrows, and exit into the same hallway. As you push open the door, you hear the two talking in the stairwell before another door closes.

“You got your gun on you?” He asked as his hand slid into the back of his pants.

“Of course.” You scoffed, tearing up the slit in your dress. He saw the small pistol strapped to your thigh, making his mouth a bit dry.

He nodded, “Good…” 

Taking a quick breath, Tangerine opened the door. You slipped through and he followed behind, your backs facing one another as you scanned the hallway. It wasn’t narrow but if anyone slipped out of one of the rooms, they were right in your sights.

“I’ll take this one, you take that one.” He whispered, pointing his gun to the opposite door of his.

With your heart in your throat, you slowly crack the door open and don’t see anyone before a body flies from behind and slammed the door open from Tangerine’s side. The woman lied dead on the floor, blood all over his dress, and just as you turned around, a punch slid across your cheek. 

Instinctively, you ducked to dodge the second jab and swoop under to get on the other side of the man as Tangerine wrapped his arms around the guy to pull him to the ground.

Tan loudly grunted as he tried to gain control, basically attempting to straddle him in order to push his arm against his neck. Even with all his strength, the man gripped his hands around Tangerine’s arms to throw him off along with trying to push his knee between his crotch.

“Watch the door!” Tan directed to you. 

You nodded, catching your breath with your back against the wall by the door. The adrenaline ran through your veins and heard your heartbeat in your ears as one tear of blood dripped down your cheek. The crack of bones made you turn your head, seeing the man’s body go limp as Tan began to stand over him.

He quickly walked over the man, as if he was in the way, and comes to your side.

“He nicked you bad. Lemme see.” Tan said, your eyes meeting his as he held your cheek. The touch of his hand seemed to be some comfort, his thumb wiping the blood away and trying to see how bad the wound was.

“Bastard.” He muttered, “C’mon, let’s go before someone comes up.”

Without a word in, he grabbed your hand and dragged you behind his lead. You two headed for the exit door down the other side of the hall as you heard footsteps rumble from the other stairs you came up.

“Wait a minute.” Tan said, fiddling with his belt buckle.

Your eyes widen, “What on earth are you doing?”

He smirked, “Relax, darling. You flatter yourself too much.”

You rolled your eyes as the sound of his belt slid against the fabric of his belt loops before curling the leather strap around the door to keep it locked. The two of you fled down the stairs and suddenly found yourselves in the kitchen area. A few eyes followed as you both ran through, very obvious that you were running from something, but still aimed to get to some kind of exit.

With sudden luck, Tangerine saw his car across the street, instantly knowing which way he was supposed to go. Without skipping a beat, he grabbed your hand once more and the two of you ran across the street. Hopping into the passenger seat and Tan taking off was like a blur, just happening in seconds.

“Y/N?” Tan saying your name woke you from your trance.

“Huh?” You asked, shaking your head.

He quickly turned his head, “You alright?” He said with concern, one hand on the steering wheel and his foot easing off the gas.

“Y-Yeah, I’m okay. I don’t know what happened back there.” You trailed, a bit embarrassed. You were never one to let your guard down, well– enough to get hit right smack in the face.

“Are you sure?”

You turned your attention to him, “I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” You asked rhetorically.

“‘Cause of that big cut on your cheek.”

You narrowed your eyes, “Alright, what’s your big plan now, Einstein? Were just going to sleep in your car and hope we don’t wake up decapitated?”

He half-chuckled, “You truly think so little of me, don’t you?”

“Is that rhetorical?”

Tan rolled his blue eyes, “We’re goin’ somewhere safe.”

– – –

You wanted to believe you were strolling into some kind of trap. The lobby had a classic aesthetic to it, pale gold wallpaper and a wall of keys behind the person at the small front desk. You two placed your go-bags on the red carpeted ground as Tangerine checked into a room.

“Hello Mr. Tangerine.”

Oh, great. He’s some guest of honor here.

“‘Ello, Colin. My usual room.”

“Is that what you say in front of all the girls?” You tilted your head, standing behind him.

He rolled his eyes, “‘Cuse her.”

The man chuckled, crinkles by his eyes, “How many nights are you staying this time?”

This time. You could scoff out loud but you didn’t want to hear the tude from him.

“Just overnight. Nothin’ too serious.”

“Well, enjoy your stay, as always.” The man nodded before Tangerine thanked him.

The two of you head toward the old elevator, watching him quickly press the up button before you stand by his side. You half chuckled, “I’ve never seen you act so kindly toward anyone, tell me, does he see you bring girls through here all the time or-”

“Has anyone ever told you to shut your pie hole?”

“Hmm, not verbally. But, those eyes of your say enough for me… you’re too predictable, sometimes, Tan.”

He gave you a lingering look as the door opened, passing him into the elevator. The two of you make your way to the fifth floor and the hall is eerily quite for a hotel full of private contractors and assassins. You had your hands behind your back then patiently waited for Tangerine to jiggle the key into the lock, opening a door to a huge room with a surprisingly wide view.

“You’d think the curtains were closed.” You muttered as he walked over, closing them anyways.

Suddenly, he stripped from his suit jacket and you couldn’t help but see how tight his button up was around his biceps and chest.

“Did you get that a size too small?” You ask as you chunk your heels into the corner.

“Well, I certainly can’t kill fuckin’ bloaks wearing baggy clothes now.”

“But, you can in a three piece suit?” You cocked your eyebrow.

He licked his lips, “As if your dress is a flexible material.” Tangerine said as he pulled his rings off, placing them on the night stand.

“I can say the same for your pants.”

Tangerine wanted to look down but didn’t give into your comment. You place your bag down on the bed, grabbing your silk pajamas nearly folded on top and changed in the bathroom.

“God, just go to bed. We’ve got a long day tomorrow.” You somewhat groaned.

You sit on the top of the bed, unfolding the duvet before shoving it off to get underneath them.

Tangerine paused, “What the fuck do you you’re doin’?”

You furrowed your eyebrow, “This thing called going to sleep. Try it sometime, you’d be less grouchy.”

He rolled his eyes, “I know that, smartass, I mean what’re you doin’ in the bed that I’m goin’ to be sleepin’ in too?”

You rolled over, putting your weight on your elbows, “I know you’re dramatic but this takes the cake for top performances.”

He faked a laugh, “If you don’t get your ass out of that bed in two seconds, I’ll throw you in the tub with a pillow.”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to. Fine, do it.” You said before laying flat into the mattress, staring straight at the ceiling.

He didn’t care for your equal amount of sarcasm, but he just gave you a cocked eyebrow.

“Okay, fine. I’d rather sleep on the floor anyways.” He said, stretching his arms up and behind his head. Your eyes quickly admired his muscles before turning back.

“Be my guest, princess.” You scoffed, slipping on your pajama shorts, “I’ll enjoy my big comfy bed.”

You pulled the heavy duvet over your waist, curling up with the dense pillow beneath your head. 

Tangerine stood there, biting the inside of his cheek as he watched you roll on your side. He tilted his head back before unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it on the desk chair. Although your eyes were closed, his side of the bed sunk in and you tried to hold back your smile at his faded stubbornness.

With your backs facing one another, you two just listened to the silence of the city. It gave you a moment to think of Paris– the last time you were with one another or much rather supposed to be against each other. You were a double agent, not exactly proud of it but you let greed take over your motivated justice. 

Having to scam Lemon and Tangerine wasn’t your finest hour either, you thought about it for months and finally coming face to face with Tangerine (out of the two, he wasn’t the one you would want to bump into again), all the guilt came rushing back like the snap of an elastic band.

– – –

The morning sun runs through the thin silk of the curtains, shining over your bodies in the bed. You wake up to the sound of light snoring, happy that you could sleep through it, and Tangerine in a deep slumber with his arm over the bed. He suddenly looked like innocence, so soft and tender, simply laying there like it was any other day.

You sit up, putting your hair out of your face then head to the bathroom. When you turn the light on, you’re almost surprised to see your reflection. Forgetting about the scar against your cheek, you look more rough around the edges. You sigh as you run your fingers over it, remembering the way Tangerine did last night.

After washing up, you go back out and Tangerine is now standing up and stretching his arms above his head. Your eyes quickly shift up his body, admiring the tattoos in their random places and how the band of his briefs rest on his hips. You sealed your lips from smiling at how sharp his v-line was accompanied by the happy trail disappearing into his pants.

“Sleep good with that stick in your ass?” You retort, passing him.

He rolled his eyes, “...You’re annoying, ya know that?”

“Oh, you’ve made that clear.” You mocked him as you closed the curtains more, “That’s why I love to do it.”

Tangerine flicked on the lamp, giving the room a warm glow.

“Alright, I say we lay low today. Better to be out of sight and–”

You cut him off, “Stuck in this room together?... are you trying to kill me t–”

He then put his hand over your mouth, looking deep into your eyes, “Yes, stuck in this room where we can keep an eye on each other and you can’t screw me over again.”

Your heart stopped for a split second, as if he couldn’t have been more of the controlling one. He took his hand away and you gulped, “Yep. Fine. Fair.”

Tangerine pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek before you go to your bag in the chair that’s pushed in the corner of the room. You slightly bend over to look inside your duffle and his icy eyes can’t help but look up the back of your thighs and straight at your ass and lower back. How he could easily put his hands on your hips and make you hold onto something.

He shook his head, feeling like he was coming down with something to even imagine that thought.

You pulled out an old novel and sat yourself back on the bed, hoping that the hours would pass as you sank further into the broken-in mattress.

Tangerine sat down in the chair nudged into the corner, adjacent from your view, and he pulled out his gun that was conveniently tucked into the back of his pants.

“Are you actually holding me hostage?” You furrowed your brows, but didn’t take your eyes from your sentence.

“Whatever fantasy you’d like you believe.” He trailed, opening his gun and emptying his rounds into his palm.

– – –

Suddenly, you leaped out of a deep sleep. Your book laid open on your stomach while an extra pillow was between your legs. Your eyes fluttered open, thinking the past few days has been a dream, until you noticed Tangerine wasn’t sitting in the chair. You quickly looked around before hearing the bathroom door open and he stepped out, shirtless and in new dark slacks that rested on his hips.

Your mouth became dry. How could you dislike him so much yet here you are, ready to jump his bones as he crossed the room.

“What are you getting dressed for?” You asked, rubbing your eyes.

He half-chuckled at your groggy voice, “I want a drink.”

“Oh, like you’re not just going to abandon me here like I did you?... Where you go, I go.” You warned him.

He rolled his eyes, “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“A bit hypocritical coming from you.”

Tangerine just ignored your smart comment and opened the door, letting you through first before he followed. His eyes, once again, trace your lower back and trailed down your legs. His cheeks flushed pink as he quickly looked away, clearing his throat as he caught up to you so you two were walking side by side.

You pushed the faded down button as you pushed a big breath past your lips. Tangerine put his back against the wall and crossed his arms, his muscles basically restraining in his light button up. As you turned around, you rolled your eyes– but not at him, just at yourself. How could you have any little feeling for someone who also annoyed you to your core?

He took your silence as a bit of a tease. To be fair, you two didn’t really know one another. You met once before and then you simply betrayed him. Quickly, you were dead to him, but now you’re forced to be together and it raised an important question to himself too. Why was he helping someone who obviously can’t be trusted? 

Tangerine furrowed his eyebrows at that thought, knowing he would have thrown you to the wolves last night after you closed your eyes. He played with his watch a bit before the elevator dinged and caught both of your attentions.

After entering, the low-sounding shifting mechanics of the elevator were the only sounds between you two. You heard Tangerine sniffle, seeing him stretch his neck out of the corner of your eye, but you kept a straight view to the doors. While Tangerine thought you were continuing to give him the silent treatment, you were lost in your own thoughts of the past.

You flashbacked to your last night in Paris together, and remembered how the guilt creeped up on you knowing that, in a few hours, you’d have to betray both Lemon and Tangerine. Before knowing them, you didn’t care, but now that you’ve realized how hard you were falling for Tan, it felt like a double edged sword. If you didn’t do it, maybe you could stay with him– have a life together. But, if you went through with your selfish heist, you’d lose the guy who made you comfortable with being vulnerable after a long time. 

Obviously, you regretted your decision.

“Is this what you want?” You simply asked.

Tangerine quickly turned his head, “What?”

You rolled your eyes before facing his direction, “This.” You gestured between the two of you, “The weird animosity and constantly arguing and nit-picking?”

He never thought you’d be so bold to point it out, “I mean, we don’t like each other. Simple, isn’t it?”

“I guess…” You trailed, facing back toward the doors.

Tangerine licked his lips, wondering if he should utter the words on his tongue.

“...But, that doesn’t mean we can’t start over.”

You looked over your shoulder once more before turning around to him, “You mean that?”

He arched his eyebrow, “Should I regret it now?”

Just as the elevator dinged, the doors slowly opened and the hotel lobby appeared empty. You smirked to yourself, “Why don’t we catch up over that drink, huh?” You sort of teased– not sure if it had purpose.

– – –

Your drink tasted smooth, easily trailing down your throat as you leaned your head back to finish off the rest of the liquor in your glass. Once you tilted your head back straight, you were met with Tangerine’s signature eyebrow arch.

“Don’t worry, I’m paying for my own drinks.” You sighed, placing your glass back down on the wooden table top.

“As long as I don’t got to carry you back up to the room.” He sighed, sounding more defeated than witty, then his blue eyes glanced down then back into your eyes.

You hummed, running your finger along the rim of the empty glass. 

“‘right so, what’ve you been doin’ since we last…” He cleared his throat, “saw one other?”

You crossed your leg over the other, “Not much. Actually, it’s the first time I’ve been out for a while. After leaving you guys, I laid low in Tuscany.”

“For how long?”

You shrugged, “Five months? I was on the countryside and I wanted to be alone…” then, you smirked, “I heard that you were in Kyoto.” 

Tangerine could chuckle about it now, “For a bit. Had a job to do for some psychotic, fucked up family. The dad called in us, they were all turin’ on each other. Whole fuckin’ thing…”

“As in…” You trailed, “Against one another? The whole family?”

He just nodded before taking a sip of his drink.

You raised your eyebrows, “Wow… and you got out with no bruises or cuts? Bullet holes?”

Tangerine licked his lips before he presented the side of his neck, lighter skin over his tanner tone to show the scar. You carefully reached out, brushing your fingers against it which made a tingle go up his spine. You sit back down as he turned back in his chair, and he seemed to tense up.

“Amazing you survived it.” You sealed your lips.

He crossed his arms, “I supposed…”

A comfortable silent fell between you, the light, jazz music playing at a low, and Tangerine’s eyes trailed up the side of your bare leg. He didn’t mean to stare this much, but he felt more vulnerable than usual. One thing you knew is that Tangerine was a layered person, you had to take time to get to the center of him and realize he’s not so cold once you get to know him.

“Five months in Tuscany, I bet that was lovely.”

“Not really. I isolated the whole time… I wanted to be by myself, but I felt bad about what happened… what I did in Paris.” You admitted, but didn’t look into his eyes, fearing that he would turn on you in a second.

Tangerine sighed, “You had to do your job, we did ours… that’s ‘bout all that can be said.” 

Assuming from the lack of eye contact and his tone, he seemed hurt too. You could easily let it boost your ego, but, you actually felt a relief. This hatred you’ve held against each other has finally come down and even though it wasn’t actually said, both of you can feel hostility leave the room.

You bit the inside of your cheek, “Remember, we’re starting over. Clean slate. I hope I’m making a good impression so far.” You raised your eyebrows, lifting your glass again just to drink the mixture of watered down liquor. 

He chuckled, “You’re just lovely.”

The comment made your face get hot. You blame the accent and how it can just get under your skin.

“I don’t think you’ve ever called me something so nice.”

Tangerine smirked, “Funny since we’ve just met, darling.”

Darling.

It was the first time you heard it as a term of endearment then pure spite.

You rolled your eyes, but you could humor that Tangerine was going along with it. This new cheeky side of him was something you didn’t think existed– maybe it was the liquor talking, but you hoped it wasn’t just that simple.

“So, what brings you here?” You continued to tease, placing your elbows on the table, “Business… or pleasure?” Your hand laid on top of his, brushing your fingertips along the chunky rings that perfectly fit his fingers.

Multiples thoughts sounded through both your minds.

“Maybe it’s the liquor.” “Maybe we’re a little over our heads.” “Maybe we’re bored.”

But, Tangerine held your hand on top of the table, gently holding it as his thumb grazes over your knuckles.

“Depends…” He trailed, now leaning in too, “What are you here for?”

– – –

In just a few minutes, you two were back in the room you felt trapped in for hours.

Tangerine pressed your back against the wall, a tingle running up your spine from the coolness of the wallpaper. Your lips pressed together over and over, tilting your head before biting his bottom lip. He effortlessly lifted you up with his hand under the back of your thighs, and your ankles meet around his back.

He needed so bad, desperate even… and the feeling was mutual.

He put you down on your feet again, pressing a kiss against your scarred cheek then another on your jaw. His light kisses run down the middle of your breasts as his hand lifted up the end of your skirt. You pushed your hips out as your back was against the wall still, watching him pull down your panties in an instant. You kick them to the side and Tangerine placed your leg over his shoulder, kisses along your inner thigh and your hand ran through the front of his curls.

Suddenly, his tongue ran over your swollen clit before sucking on it. With one hand in his hair, the other caressing your breast and running your thumb over your nipple.

Tangerine panted, moving his hand against your pussy lips. He pushed them apart, showing your tight hole and how you clench around nothing. He lowly groaned, running his fingers over your clit before sliding his two fingers into your pussy. You bite your bottom lip to hold back the moan stuck in your throat, watching him suck your clit and finger you at the same time.

Just as your climax neared, he felt your cunt tighten around his fingers. He couldn’t end it like this so, he took them away. You let your leg down, watching him come back up and tower over you.

“If I’m goin’ to make you cum…” He sighed, “I’m gonna be deep inside you when you fucking crumble.” He said so low before pressing his fingers against your tongue, and you tasted yourself.

You pulled his hand back, running your thumbs over his tattooed hand.

“Not if I make you cum first.” You trailed, moving his hand down so you could kiss him.

He could drop to his knees in an instant, but Tangerine surprisingly kept his composure. 

You smirked as you pushed him toward the bed, the back of his knees hitting it to make him sit down. As you stood in front of him, he leaned on his elbows as he watched your dress drop to the floor. It pooled at your ankles and when his eyes shifted back up, so glossed over, your bare body was the center of his attention.

“Hmm, I don’t think you’ll last.” You taunted.

As much as he could snap back, you straddled him and pulled apart his tightly buttoned shirt. Your hands ran over his toned and tatted chest before reaching down to his pants, unzipping the fly and he shuffled a bit to shift them off his hips. His cock was hard, restrained from his boxers and you felt flattered.

You giggled, leaning forward to share a slow kiss with him. Your bare pussy rubbed against his cock as you moved closer to him. A low groan mumbled between your makeout, and you pushed him back so you two both fell on the bed.

Your hands pressed into each side of the mattress, gaining strength to help yourself grind against his hard. His big hands tightly held your hips as you continued your smooth momentum, whimpering at your clit being rubbed by your harsh grind.

As heat rose in the room, your right hand dipped between the two of you, and ran over his hard cock once more. Tan’s lips now desperately met your jaw before taking a light bite at your neck. The feeling of your hand caressing through his boxers could make him release right there.

Becoming more impatient, you finally pushed your hand into the band of his boxers and he once more moved his hips to shift out of them. 

“Fuck, your cock is so big… can barely hold it with my hand. God, I want you to stretch me out…” You moaned, “Is that okay?”

You purposefully let him believe that he was in charge, and you were falling into the submissive role. Tangerine gained a bit of confidence from your desperate comments, and he sat more up on the bed.

“Fucking christ…” Is all he could say.

He moved the swollen and red tip against your wet slit, also aching and needing your walls to wrap around him now. At first there was pressure, pushing the tip inside your hole then slowly guiding your hips down to completely take in every inch of his cock. 

Once he bottomed out, your body lightly shook as your lips brushed against his. He was fully inside you, the tight and warm feeling making him wither beneath you.

Tangerine moved his hand, kissing your shoulder, “God, you feel like fuckin’ heaven.”

“Don’t stop. Please…” You huffed.

– – –

Then, it was morning. 

The rising sun peaked through the small split of the curtains. As you tried to shift, your body ached throughout every muscle. A small groan left your lips, but you were pulled back by a strong arm wrapped around your waist.

It snapped you back into reality. Last night really happened… and you were okay with that.

Tangerine’s tattooed arm unconsciously tightened around you, holding you close still as he still slept behind you. You barely look over your shoulder and saw his face, his eyes still shut and his curls looked wild.

You faintly smile as you turn around to face him, and that’s what woke him up. He pulled his arms back and rubbed his eyes from the brightness of the sun coming in. You run your finger along a curl on his forehead, pushing it to the top of his head and your heart melted from the sight of those blue eyes.

“Did last night really happen?” You mumbled, but with a faint smile on your lips.

He placed his hand gently on your cheek, caressing his thumb against your jaw. 

“I think the real question is…” He trailed, “Do we stay another night or go back to pretending to not know each other's existences?”

You bit your bottom lip, lightly giggling, “I think we pick secret option three and go somewhere else. Get away for a while… see where this is going. Don’t you?”

Just at that moment, Tangerine’s phone vibrated in his pants that were on the floor next to the bed. He turned over on his other side, reaching down to pull it out and reading a text Lemon just sent.

“Got a call about a job in Budapest. Are you in or overstaying your weekend?”

Tangerine smirked at himself, then felt your lips press against his neck. You placed another kiss on his shoulder, leaving a tender love bite before he turned back around to kiss you. Maybe it was the natural thrill of the chase, but you loved the not knowing. 

Whatever was next, you could only hope that he kept it interesting.

[stupidthoughtsinwriting]

Don't leave me... I'll stay (Loki)

Summary: After an argument causes a rift between Loki and Y/N, the day is spent ignoring the other until Y/N decides to spend the night away from Loki.

Warning: Angst? i dunno what else to put in but angst eheheh. long maybe? this is a very long fic eheheh. ohh and another thing is that this may be prone to mistakes as i dont have anybody to proof this so... ehehhe

Note: eheheeh the liar has finally posted what was promised, precisely a month late or later. eheheh sorry to those who waited, school has taken a lot of my time, I barely open my laptop to work and im rarely here anymore but i've got until the monday off so lets see what i'll do with that eheheh

The context is vague, I apologize but i am complete rubbish at this. at everything really, including writing so eheheh. To those brave souls that braved this whole thing, Thank you! so very deeply, from the bottom of my heart for even showing the slightest bit of interest in my rubbish ideas. Hope you like it and im stopping myself from going any further and prolonging this intro ehehhe, Enjoy!😊

‘No Loki! Just because I have this disease, doesn’t mean you have the right to keep me locked up like some sort of china. I am able to do just about everything I could before I told you and you have no right telling me what I can or cannot do’ you countered his argument but being stubborn, neither of you relented nor ceased.

You were now second guessing whether it was right or not, telling him about the chronic illness you were diagnosed with, but you knew that you did the right thing if you wanted this relationship to have a good foundation. The reaction however… was not how you thought things would go.

It was simple at first. Barely noticeable and could have been mistaken as added doting to his already caring nature with you but overtime, it became more and more obvious how he was setting up these restrictions you never would have agreed on. It only grew ridiculous, and you would have allowed the passive ones, but this was the final straw.

Your patience had worn thin over the entirety of the argument however, as comments grew more rash and the final ‘disapproval’ of your oncoming task was remarked, you snapped. He had no right to restrict you of activities and tasks he thinks are too much for your condition and it only insulted and hurt you to think that he thought you so frail and weak that even simple chores were too much.

‘I am going on this mission, whether you “approve” or not, because just telling you was out of courtesy. I refuse to be told of my restrictions by anyone besides myself. I would have understood your concerns if the situation were more grave, but for the love of God, it’s a simple data extraction.’ You exasperated, growing tired of fighting about something you know he won’t fold on.

‘In an abandoned Hydra base!’ he pointed out, choosing not to acknowledge how you outright dismissed his concern, no matter how much it hurt. ‘You know of the dangers that lurk in those retched lairs and often times there are still those who patrol the premises. You do remember when Rogers and Romanoff were attacked during their little escapade in Camp Leigh, do you not?’

‘Of course, I remember, I’m not a moron’ you snide, glaring daggers at the raven-haired god and you were just about to justify how Barnes was going with you however the comment he let out was the final pull on the thinned thread.

‘Well, you certainly are acting like one’ he mumbled without thinking, turning away. He thought it was low enough so you wouldn’t hear but he thought wrong.

‘I beg your pardon?!’ you all but screeched out of fury. Loki flinched before he turned at the high pitch and fury, he heard from you. He saw the outraged his comment caused in your eyes. The fire that burned in those beautiful orbs of yours was terrifying however, what truly frightened him was how you took a breath, calming yourself and before he could so much as apologize, rolled your eyes and turned away.

‘I’m done’ you raised your hands in surrender, turning your back to him.

‘What do you mean you’re done?’ he asked as fear of losing you threatened his being. You mean everything to him and just the very thought of losing you and him being the very reason you were gone… it opened a holocaust in his mind.

‘This conversation, I am done. I’m ending it before either of us say something or does more damage that there already is’ you yield, busying yourself with tidying up the files you had splayed out all over the floor.

Relief flooded his senses before guilt quickly bore fruit.

He watched as you packed up your work and strode out of the room. It took him a minute, but he followed you out and once he finally reached the living room, he met the sight of you slipping on your trainers and throwing your gadgets, wallet and keys in your bag before moving to the door and slamming it shut.

He stood frozen in the threshold of the hall as he processed what happened. All he wanted was to keep you safe. Never did he think that things would go this bad.

You stormed out of the flat and went to the compound for the briefing you had with Bucky. It was scheduled for tomorrow, but you just could not stay in the flat, not with him, not at the moment. You needed a cool head and quite frankly, yours was blazing.

You called Barnes to reschedule, which he agreed to but before he could ask why, you had already hung up. You needed to calm down, seriously.

You took a scenic route around the city before heading to the facility. You parked at the car park and turned off the vehicle before you let your head fall on the steering wheel. Loki’s’ words really stung but in his own way, you knew he meant well. He loved you but it felt demeaning to be confined to one place or to be babied. You are a grown woman; this disease may affect you in some way but you wouldn’t let it define and control your life like its slowly doing to Loki.

You took your phone to look at the time and was greeted with lock screen background of you and Loki cuddling, fast asleep. Someone from the team took the picture to spite Loki but you found it adorable and set it on your phone. It brought a small grin to your lips until you got a message from Barnes saying which conference room was being used for the quick briefing. You sighed, taking your bag before exiting the car and heading in the building.

The briefing was quick. Only about the layout of the base, where to go and what to take. You were in and out in possibly ten minutes, but you longed for it to be longer. You didn’t want to go home yet so you stayed for a chat with the others, talking to Wanda about her relationship, discussing with Bruce the project he was working on before you went and left with a goodbye, heading for the shops for dinner prep and a bit of groceries, taking your time in each aisle to pass the minute until you really had to go home.

Loki had texted Thor after you left, asking if you were at the compound. It took a bit for his brother to respond but eventually he replied with ‘Barnes says she’s on her way for a meeting’. He felt relieved to at least know where you are, knowing you were safe and not alone somewhere. 

Hours passed until he heard your keys on the front door, the metal snake keychain giving a distinct clink with the rest of your keys. He looked to the door from where he sat on the living room, watching as you trudged in the brown bags of groceries. You kicked the door closed and placed the bags in the kitchen bench, never sparing him a look. He could sense that you didn’t want to be around him, he could always sense it. He’s had years of experience with being ignored nor wanted. He knew when to take his leave, so he left for the bedroom, never sparing you a sound of his departure.

You saw Loki on the chaise when you walked in. You blatantly ignored him, but he was on the couch. The only indication you got that he left was when you heard the bedroom door close. You were fixing everything you had bought to the cupboards and the pantry when you just heard the soft click of the door closing. You felt bad with how distant you two were being but what stung more is that he couldn’t bear to be in the same room as you that he had to leave. You wanted to make things right. You were thinking of things to say as you put away the vegetables, but he seemed to want the opposite.

You put everything away and started making supper, finishing an hour or two later. Loki still hasn’t left the bedroom, though you did hear the shower run a few minutes prior, so you ate by yourself, wallowing in your thoughts about the mission and Loki.

Your bowl was half gone when he emerged from the room and moved to where you were eating on the table. You had prepared him a bowl, which now sat at the other end of the table. You weren’t talking to each other, but you still care and love him. The soup had gone a bit cold, but it was there, and he sat and ate it anyways.

Both of you stayed silent, neither breaking the silence as the tension grew thick. You quickly finished the rest of your meal before standing abruptly to start cleaning up. You let the bowl rinse and soak in the sink while you stored the leftovers in a container and to the fridge. You had put more than enough on his bowl, so you were sure he wouldn’t be asking for seconds. You quickly washed the dishes whilst he ate while reading his book. He was nearly done when you left the kitchen and proceeded to the bathroom.

He let out a sigh and dropped his book when he heard the shower running. He has been staring at the very same paragraph over and over but not once has he actually paid attention to the text let alone understood it. He was hoping to break the ice between you two, but he froze, missing his chance.

He rinsed his own dish and made sure everything was good and locked up before he went back to the bedroom, preparing to go to bed.

You came out a few minutes later, steam billowing from the ensuite and following you. Your hair was wrapped up in a towel, your body clad in the oversized jumper you adored, with a nightie underneath. You still refused to acknowledge him as you made your way to the closet, grabbing a spare comforter.

This got Loki’s attention and was what broke the silence of the room, really the silence you have both established since the argument earlier.

‘What are you doing?’ he asked as he stopped fluffing the pillow in his hold. Your pillow.

‘I have a few case files to read and paperwork to do so… I’m staying in the living room’ you stated, hardly with any emotion, tugging at the comforter from the top shelf.

‘And the need for a blanket?’ he questioned again, looking over your well bundled figure. The sweater you had was thick and big enough to cover your legs if you were truly that cold, he knew that and the fact that you only use blankets whenever you were going to sleep.

‘It’s likely I’ll fall asleep on the couch so I’m preparing for the inevitable. To put it bluntly, I’m sleeping on the couch’ you say, finally turning around to see him holding your pillow before you moved to leave the room.

All Loki could do was nod, clenching his jaw as his hands dropped your pillow and watch as you left the room. He couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t will his lips to move in protest and just accepted what was going to happen. He didn’t want to force you seeing how that went earlier, so he let it… you, go do what you wish. He didn’t want to lose you and he’d do anything and everything to avoid that.

He got cleaned up in the bathroom before he went to bed. He couldn’t sleep and for hours he’s spent it staring up at the ceiling. Once he'd learned to sleep with you by his side, it was harder now to do so without you and the lingering thoughts of your fight earlier kept him company.

It took a while before the fatigue finally succumbed to him, his mind too tired to do anything that it finally forfeited and let him rest.

You on the other hand, haven’t slept at all. Not a wink of it. You spent a bit writing up some reports and looking over at some case files but after you found that you couldn’t focus, you packed everything up and tried to get some sleep. Tried. You really did but as tired as your body was, your mind worked wonders in keeping you up.

The fight you had was your fore thought, mainly the look in Loki’s eyes when you said you weren’t sleeping in the same room as him. He always tried to look impassive in front of others but with you, his eyes held so many expressions of love and adoration, you saw none of that as he held your pillow.

You felt bad leaving him alone. The gesture alone of fixing your side of the bed was heart-warming, that it made you feel like a monster when you saw the look he gave you. Of absolute disappointment? It wasn’t the right word, but you felt like you took the one good thing he had and crushed it in front of him.

You tried to stave off such thoughts, thinking of your task for tomorrow and such but it wasn’t any use. Your mind was going miles per minute, and you just couldn’t keep up. You stayed on the couch for hours, laying on the furniture as your eyes stayed transfixed on a spiderweb on the ceiling. You grew restless overtime so the idea of making tea came to mind.

You thought it a good idea for a cup to help you, so you finally got up. You took the towel you used from the coffee table and hung it on a chair as you turned the kettle on. You grabbed a cup from the drying rack and dropped the bag of chamomile you got from the jar, as you waited for the water to boil.

It was then you heard a whimper. It came fast and low, you were beginning to think that you imagined it when you heard it again. You left the cup sitting on the counter as you went to investigate, looking all around the open space of the flat until it finally registered to you that it was coming from the bedroom.

Loki…

Fast steps quickly took you to the door of the room, which was left open and from where you stood, you heard his cries clearly. The room, gloomy when you entered had scarcely any light. The only source came from the dim lighting from the hall and the sliver of moonlight seeping through the curtains, but it was enough to help you at least see figures.

You moved to the general area of where the bed was and there you saw his figure, trembling slightly. From what you saw as your eyes further adjusted to the darkness, he laid on his side, his shirt damp with sweat, his face glistening and his hair sticking all over his neck and cheeks. He had a pillow in his hold, his head buried in the cushion, but the muffled whines and whimpers still persisted to reach your ears. It was your pillow.

It had been a long while since these terrible nightmares have plagued his nights. The last was far too long ago you hardly remembered it anymore. You remember how he once told you about it having something to do with you sleeping by his side. That something about you just calmed him and made his mind come to a peaceful state. The guilt you felt increased tenfold as the regret of leaving him alone ate you alive. You didn’t… you don’t… you couldn’t have imagined how much you had helped him without even realizing and now leaving him to his own devices… you felt like a pompous prick.

You sped to his side, whispering his name in hopes to arouse him but it proved to be futile.

You sat beside him, turning to the side to face figure. A finger reached to tuck the damp locks behinds his ears as you whispered his name again, hoping to get through his thoughts but it still wasn’t working. Your hands moved to cradle the side of his face, your thumb caressing his cheek in hopes to stir him as you continued to say his name.

‘Loki’ you said softly, knowing using any other tone or pitch would only frighten him further. You moved your head next to his, your body twisted in an awkward position, but you couldn’t care less. You continued to whisper his name close to his ear, your thumbs caressing those sharp angled cheeks until he finally stirred.

You felt it. That light shake of his head as he finally starts rouse, as if shaking off fatigue and merciless thoughts that haunted his mind. You pulled away a bit to see him properly, wiping the beads of sweat that coated most of his forehead with the sleeve of your jumper as your other hand continued their gentle caress on his cheeks. He had a furrow that pulled his brows together and normally you would have found it adorable but right now you only hoped to remove it.

He blinked slowly, gathering his bearings to check if he was truly out of the agonizing torment his mind had conjured. He was losing you. It was scene after scene of ways he loses you and all of it was his fault. From you leaving him after an argument, to the image of the mad titan snapping your neck in his grasp as he watched. Each scenario broke him in every way, and he just couldn’t bare it.

The sight was still fresh in his mind as he finally started to ebb away from the drowse of sleep. Then as panic set him as he realized and processed what had happened, he didn’t notice the soft whisper of his name or the caress of your delicate fingers. He was on the verge of complete panic, tears welling up his eyes when he felt it. You.

Your voice. You touch. Your scent. Everything. It all enveloped him to the point It became overwhelming, but he wanted it. To suffocate in everything you, to banish those horrid thoughts away.

‘y/n?’ he whispered meekly, still questioning whether he was still in the throughs of his nightmare.

‘I’m here, It’s okay. It’s just a nightmare’ you replied as tears started to pour from his eyes and cascade down his cheeks.

‘I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry, p-please don’t leave me’ he heaved, his voice shaking with every word, it broke your heart to hear him so broken. His arms moved to wrap around you, having a tight hold on your waist, leaving the pillow, as he wept.

You could only do so much to keep your own tears at bay, but you managed to stay strong. Your fingers wiped much of the tears, but they only continued to flow so you pulled him in to hide in the crook of your neck.

‘Shhh darling. It’s alright, I’m here, I promise’ you said in his ear, knowing his cries would only muffle his hearing. He cried and cried, apologizing just as much in between but you still dismissed every single one.

‘Shhhh, you’re okay darling. It’s only a nightmare, it’s alright’ you moved your body to lay on the bed fully, settling beside him comfortably as you held him tight. Your fingers weaved through his obsidian locks, scratching his scalp in hopes to console and comfort him in anyway as he continued to heave on the crook of your neck.

It broke your heart to see him like this. Frightened to the bone like a little boy, shivering as if dunk in the oceans of the arctic. All those years of suffering topped his insecurities and the lack assurance and consoling care throughout most of his life… of course he was afraid. Of the possibilities this life held. He’d seen the worst parts of it, of course id be difficult to peer outside that little protective box he hid in. And your argument certainly didn’t help matters.

He cried for a while and you let him. Bare his vulnerability to you and it was your honour to be shown this fragile part of him. You’d treasure the trust he had in you, to keep him safe in times like these. You wouldn’t let anything happen to him, especially like this. You love him too much.

He calmed down after a little while, still letting out soft sniffs and whimpers every once and a while, but he had calmed down. You placed a soft kiss on his temple, an assurance of sorts before pulling back to face him but his grip only tightened, a whine escaping his lips as he hid himself further in the safety of your hair.

He didn’t want you to pull away for fear of you having enough of him, but he wouldn’t have it. He couldn’t.

You hushed him softly, running a hand through his inky locks and caressing his scalp, assuring him you weren’t going anywhere and only meant to talk to him. He was reluctant but he gave in, nodding the slightest bit before pulling away to face you.

His face was red, eyes bloodshot and puffy around the eyelids, looking down and anywhere but at you. Streaks of tears, dry and fresh cascaded down his sharp features, causing his unruly hair to stick. The look he gave you completely broke your heart, rendering it to mush whilst he had the decency to look so heartbroken.

You kept your composure as a finger swiped a way those stray locks, tucking it behind his ear before he nuzzled in the warms of your palm. Your thumb glided along the prominent angle of his zygoma, brushing away whatever moisture was left until you tilted his head up, by the chin, to look at you. His beautiful emerald eyes shimmered with unshed tears however he still won’t look you in the eyes.

‘Loki’ his name came off your lips in a soft whisper, finally grabbing his attention. Now that you finally had it though, all words seem to have left you, your thoughts drawing blank. A sigh left your lips as you let your head drop to his, your foreheads pressed together as you closed your eyes.

‘I’m sorry’ you said blankly, your hand rising to come through his locks and to scratch his scalp. Whether it was for his comfort or your distraction, you wouldn’t know.

He shook his head, dismissing your apology. Half of him didn’t know what you were apologizing for yet the other had an idea as to what, and even if it truly was what you were thinking, he knew that it was his fault.

‘No, don’t apologize. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have treated you as such, but please darling, forgive me. I cannot lose you, please. Don’t… don’t leave me’ he practically begged. He really couldn’t lose you. He just wouldn’t know what to do if he did, but he just knows he won’t survive it.

‘No, I must apologize’ you argued, continuing on before he could cut you off ‘My actions weren’t acceptable, but Loki… We cannot keep going on like this. I am my own person, I refuse to told what to do, let alone what I can’t. I refuse to be caged in the four walls of this flat like some treasured bird, I’m not. I will not be restrained. By some illness nor God or man. This won’t work if that is what you want’.

‘I know, I know. I-It’s not, It’s not what I want. I’m sorry but darling, I just can’t lose you. I can’t. I won’t survive it. Please, I won’t do it again, just please don’t leave me.’ He sobbed, dropping his head back down the crook of your neck and he held you in a tight embrace. You understood what he meant; you don’t think you could survive losing him too.

‘I won’t. I’m not leaving you. I would never. I'm staying’ You affirmed. You really wouldn’t, but you won’t stand being coddled to the brim.

You held on to each other tightly for a while. Just letting the others presence calm one another. Loki hidden in the arch of your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist, while you laid your head on top of his, a hand mindlessly raking trough his gorgeous locks. It proved to be comforting for the both of you, evidently.

‘I only meant to protect you’ he mumbled with a sniff out of nowhere.

‘I understand, my love. And the best I could do is promise to be safe and extra careful. I won’t take too risky missions if that gives you a peace of mind.’ You offered. You knew he only meant well and cared for your safety. You love your job but often times, it was too dangerous, even for your standards after everything. Taking fewer and safer missions wasn’t a problem. As long as you had worked to do that involved helping people, you were satisfied.

You felt him nod his head lightly at the suggestion, causing a soft smile to bloom from your lips before placing a soft kiss on the crown of his head. You didn’t see it but a small smile curved his lips as well at the feel of your lips on his skin. The touch starved part of him relishing in these small moments of affection like treasure.

Your free hand moved to caress his back when you felt how damp the fabric of his top was. The sweat he had worked up earlier still hasn’t dried and you knew how uncomfortable he would get bathing in the slightest bit of dirt, hence why you thought of getting him cleaned.

You place another kiss on his cheek before attempting to untangle yourself from him. The events of the nights had taxed the god, but you wanted to get him at least a bit clean before he fully dozed off however, as you tried to get off his loving embrace, his grip only tightened, his droopy eyes opening wide to see the commotion. 

‘Shhh, It’s alright. I just have to head out to the kitchen to check something and I promise, I will be right back my love’ you said softly to his ear, hoping his drowse would keep. He gave a tired huff before reluctantly setting you free. Your grin only grew wider, and you place a quick peck on his lips before you scrambled off the bed.

You quickly checked the kitchen to see if the kettle hadn’t burned and once assured, you left it as it was and headed to the loo to get what was needed. You took a small towel from the cupboard bellow the sink and ran it under the water to get it wet. Once it was fully soaked, you wrang the excess water from the towel and quickly grabbed a spare shirt from the wardrobe before going back to the bedroom.

The darling god had his eyes closed with your pillow once again tight in his grasp. This time, the sight made you smile. At how adorable he looked, face squashed on the cushion. You could tell how exhausted he was though, so you made haste in getting him set for night’s (hopefully) peaceful rest.

You sat beside him on the bed, the shifting of the mattress making him dare open an eye just as you were about to rouse him. He gave you that small charming smile of his when he saw you and your hand moved to cup his cheek, letting the pad of your thumb caress his now dried cheeks.

‘Can you sit up for me, luv’ you asked, leaning down to his ear. He gave you a faint nod before you sat back and helped him up. The fatigue was really getting on to him as he laid his head on your shoulder, so you made sure to finish as soon as possible to finally let him have a good night’s rest.

You gathered his hair into a pony with one hand and held it away, while the other wiped the damp cloth on the back of his neck. He flinched at the contact, having been spared a warning, you promptly apologized and moved as quickly as you could.

You wiped his face with great care, before you pulled his shirt off and threw it on the nightstand, to be put on the hamper after you were done. You wiped him all over until you deemed it enough and gave him the spare shirt. He put it on and just before you could leave the bed again, he took your hand. He gave you a pleading look that spoke volumes, and how could you resist when he gave you those doe eyes.

You gave him a soft smile, leaving the little towel beside the shirt and made your way to your spot on the bed. You got comfortable before you looked at him, staring at you with great fondness, it made you bashful yet you still opened your arms, welcoming him in to be held, which with great eager, he accepted. He laid beside you, wrapping his arms around your torso as he inhaled the scent of your hair, a welcome comfort after the course of the night.

You pulled the covers up to cover you both, but the feel of his soft lips just made you forget about everything but him, making you snuggle closer in his hold.

He had his head laid on the top of yours, his arms tied around you and your legs intertwined. An arm of yours cradled the back of his head, tangling to the roots of his inky locks while the other drew abstracts on his back. You held each other, never saying a word yet the silence was finally comfortable. A tranquil state you two could once again relish.

The silence however gave your mind room to intrude the peace, thinking of how things got to this point. From the argument, to the dismiss of each other’s presence and up until the confession after the dreadful nightmare, you admit that parts of how this ended up being the conclusion of the day, was your fault. Yes, Loki had his own mistakes in the matter, but you could have taken a point and fixed it. Why didn’t you get a grip and made the effort to make things better.  You shouldn’t ha…

A deep sigh broke you out of your trance. A squeeze, you felt you were given as arms around waist tightened and you were pulled impossibly closer to the mass holding you.

‘I can hear your gears turning, darling’ Loki mumbled, followed by a small chuckle, breaking the deafening comfort of silence. The sound was well welcomed after the tension of the day.

‘Sorry, luv. Go back to sleep’ you reply, scratching his scalp. He hummed in response, a smile pressing against your hair before a quick peck was planted on the top of your head. You grinned, closing your eyes, hoping to finally get consumed by the black oblivion that was rest.

The gentle caress on your arm helped, lulling you to a peaceful state of mind. Loki knew what helped you too.

Eventually the night drew on, painting the dark skies with stars as the two held each other, succumbing to blissful state of peace promised by slumber.

The night was a lesson for the two. To understand the other, to work out their problems and to never go to bed angry.

[itsyagurlchip]

Can u tell me more of ur au plz?

you're in luck! I still have a few character ref sheets left! I'll give more characterization and backstory for these lil guys!

also sorry if this comes out a bit late- im taking a break from art for a while and while im typing this (07/30/24) i'm also finishing the visualization ref page for reader.

(current chip) ANON KISSING YOU ON THE CHEEK SWINGING YOU AROUND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK!!<3333 MY IDEAS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE CATCH UP OR BE CONFUSED.

It's both an AU, and a fic so I apologize if things get messed up. So when I say "Undertake Sans/Papyrus/Person" it refers to my AU rather than the original "classic". My fic refers to the "6 skeletons, one human" trope and the AU focuses on details from the Undertake universe.

I may have over explained, but I wanted to keep that clear- And most of this post will take the time to talk about the plot and lore of the fic.

As I've said before, Undertake is just a sillier version of Undertale where shenanigans happen all the time on the surface. But I've never explained fully why. Welp! Here you go....

We all know how the trope goes. Sans tries to get his Dad back, and succeeds! Except this time, it's on the surface. And Frisk doesn't feel like...Frisk. Anyways, bringing Gaster back from the Void has caused complications within the universe, about 5 years after monsters resurfaced.

"One time things" turn into regular occurrences, stereotypical situations that would never happen in real life are happening, it's overall stupidity!

But Sans and Reader are the only ones who "know" about this change. Sans just rolls along with it, using this as a breather from past resets. Reader, on the other hand, has whiplash from the whole thing. When did everything change? and why? Something felt wrong in their SOUL. Everyone else seems to fit into this random "normal" and it pisses reader off.

But they're a kid. They don't know what they're talking about, so they ignore them as best as they can.

-

Since every monster is on the surface, and pretty much all need jobs, Sans becomes a scientist of sorts. He represents most monster scientists, and helps humans with the evolution of magic-science. He doesn't work all the time, that's a big role to fit in; something Alphy's would gladly take, and so he mostly works on projects at home.

Integrating n shit, I'll leave those details to the fic.

After getting licensed, transferring his master's degree in physics, and getting all the tools he needs, he decides to re-build gaster's machine to bring him back.

Mind you, this is a year after they get to the surface, so nothing has changed yet. When Gaster came through the machine (I'll draw it so you can get a better representation of what it looks like) he was horrified.

Why was he melting? His face was now stuck in a forever frown. Looking at his hands, you could still see the holes engraved into them from when he was first born.

He began to sign something ancient, a language horrifically nostalgic he almost forgot to catch what he was saying.

But before he could respond, the world went black. There was a wild pulsing in his SOUL before the world went black.

^^reader parallels this btw

I'm not gonna drop too much, because I don't wanna spoil any plans I have for this, but thank you so much for this ask!! I might even start writing chapters in January

here's reader's character sheet btw. (and when you guys read it do understand that you dont have to portray them in the same way i do, nor do you have too be an ass abt it)

©KAL pls don't steal, repost, trace, or whatever an art theif does. you can inspire yourself! just tag me to let me know<3

y'all better clap for me

im on a writing roll

☀︎⋆.ೃ࿔*:･(title)☀︎⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ᯓᡣ𐭩(warnings:) ᯓᡣ𐭩(note) ᯓᡣ𐭩 (summary)

૮₍˶• .•⑅₎ა tags: @kittykittyanon @bonefanatic @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl

૮₍˶• .•⑅₎ა@ziipzeepzop-eez @wheezdostuff @spongejuice @cyb3r-st4r @matteo-hamato

@clown-froggi @acesgarden

if you would like to be added, check my blog. if you would like to be added, check my blog. SEE? I SAID IT TWICE!!

[belovedstarrs]

do you even care?!

• pairing : geto x fem!reader

• tags : angst, breakup??, just a shit ton of one-sided fighting (verbal) , language galore, drinking mentioned & used, cheating, geto never betrays jujutsu high au.

• a/n : god im half asleep writing this and i havent proof-read sooooo deal w/ it i just need to actually post and get over this writing slump.

• w/c : 602

• loosely based off of all too well & youre losing me

you were laying in your bed and pondering. suguru hasnt been home in hours and he told you he was gonna be home at 5 pm, its 10 pm. you checked his location and he turned it off a few hours ago.

you heard the keys jangle in the doorknobs and you quickly got up, you didnt even know what you wanted to say to him. you looked out your doorframe and saw him taking off his shoes at the front entrance as you angrily walked over.

"suguru what the hell! where the fuck where you at? you turned off your damn location. you know what nevermind you were probably at the bar with gojo flirting with some girls since you clearly dont give a shit about me."

it all blurted out, you felt like throwing up. why now? suguru had to take a minute to process everything from you talking to fast. "y/n i wasnt flirting with any girls nor at the bar. i just had gotten a new mission right before i got off and my phone had died." he said with no emotion in his voice. you could tell it was a lie. just by the way he looks uneasy you can tell hes been drinking.

"oh stop giving me that bullshit suguru. if you dont like me just fucking say it. i dont get how you can just cheat on me yet still have the balls to say the words i love you." you wanted to die. you used to love this man with your whole life, why is this happening? why does he lie to you so much.

the past 3 months have felt like hell. sugurus been getting more distant and staying out later than he tells you while getting drunk. you dont fucking get it. why is he doing this? what have you done to deserve this? youve put so much into this relationship and hes tearing it apart like its nothing.

he doesnt even have a response to your stinging words. "y/n i promise i still lov-" you quickly cut him off. "you dont ever keep your promises! stop spouting shit that isnt true for once! your just an asshole liar." you pause for a moment before you continue

"why have you put nothing into our relationship? did you never love me from the start? ive been trying so fucking hard to still love you and act as nothing is wrong and ive tried to tell you that but youre just a dumbass!" you brush shoulders as you go to the front door to quickly put on your shoes and a coat to leave. making sure to grab your keys and get the hell out before he says anything.

there was this burning feeling in your chest that also felt like a little freedom. were you meant to not be with suguru? you wished so hard in your head he would come back for you and apologize, make it right. you kept walking down the street and nothing happened.

you pulled out your phone to text utahime and ask if you could stay the night.

y/n : utahime you awake?

utahime : yeah. why?

y/n : just fought with suguru. wondering if i could stay the night.

utahime : totally! stay for as long as you need.

that gave you some relief. your gonna have to figure out you and sugurus situation but for now you need time to yourself to figure out what the hell youre gonna do with him since you two live together and dont have a actual apartment of your own.

part 2 is out now!!

made by @belovedstarrs do not copy or use in any way without permission

[drdemonprince]

watching a 1992 Donna Tartt interview where she describes writing her first draft of The Secret History as setting out on a cross-country trip with only a map, not knowing what kind of unexpected detours she might run into along the way and then figuring out her way through them. She also likens getting to know her characters over the course of the writing to getting to know a good friend -- at first you think you've got them figured out, but with more time and in new situations, you learn all kinds of new shades to them.

and it strikes me. that neither cross country trips nor getting to know friends quite works out that way anymore. Today we have Google directions that can update relatively in real time to reflect not only changes in the roads and byways, but short-term construction and traffic jams as well. and while there's certainly an element of surprise to befriending somebody still, things aren't quite so much of a mystery anymore as they were before social media. today it's quite easy to make an informed guess based on a person's posting habits which movies theyd want to see with you, whether they'd like to visit an art gallery or a park or a club. and you know what's going on in their life so much of the time, or at least what they broadcast about it, so you get to develop a sense of their patter and their insecurities and what makes them spiral.

and i wonder if human beings on the whole are less comfortable with uncertainty now, and see themselves as less capable of weathering unexpected challenges -- be that a pothole or a conversation with no script -- because we haven't gotten to exercise that self-trust of embarking on the road with only a map that Donna describes.

i know that when i encounter an unexpected problem and i can solve it, it helps me feel powerful. it helps me feel that my world has expanded in some triumphant little way. now i know how to install a curtain rod. i will never not know how to do it again. now i know how to fix a biplane closet track thats bent. now i know how to donate blood and what to do before. i know how to tell a boorish dude at a bar to leave my friend and i alone because now i've done it. and the more things that i become able to do, the greater faith i have in my own ability to do things generally -- to learn, to fix, to adapt. im no luddite but i am someone who always wants to google unknowable information, such as whether a bartender will yell at me for ordering the wrong kind of drink at the wrong sort of bar. but i have that all backwards now dont i. the only way i get over that anxiety is not by getting all the information, but by getting experience moving into places where i dont have the information. driving on the roads when the maps are out of date.

[astraydestiny]

Daily Writing Complete‼️

Homestly, not really. I wrote 505, IM GOING BACK TO 505, sorry, words on my main story… BUTTT i wrote a bunch of notes and stuff that has to equate to like 700 words??? But thats for my main story, I finished one of the CW!!!

That’ll be out to you guys tomorrow. Im pretty pround of it! Especially for 1.5k! But… I feel like its a bit rushed, and in some places it feels a bit exposition heavy? But i do like the emotion and symbolism in the story. It turnes out pretty good I think! I cant wait for you guys to see this because then you guys can actually get a grip for how I write and stuff, and not judge my writing off these stupid blurbs and stuff! Yk, if you guys like the one tomorrow, I’ll give yall a Thousand Fireflies to eat up too! Just- dont copy it alright? Its not free-use work!!! In fact- i should probably put that in my bio and stuff. But anyways… IM PROUD OF MYSELF! I feel like I was blocked on my main story, because I had a fun time writing this side project! I just that goes to show how important it is to take breaks from main projects in favor for smaller ones, just so you dont burn yourself out by accident! Because burning yourself out is… NOT GOOD! Not good to sya the least… but yah. I feel like i got multiple questions wrong on my science quiz today and istgoodness… IT WAS EZ I SWEAR TO GOODNESS. I just tripped up during it… Also guys I realized that I should really start yapping more irl because… Im look at these posts and thinking- wow. This person must have no friends if they have THIS many thoughts and no one to tell them to. AND THEN I REALIZE IM TALKING ABT MYSELF. Like sometimes I either dont speak because i dont want to interrupt someone- but the times I do speak… PEOPLE INTERRUPT ME! AND THE TIMES WHEN I FEEL LIKE I CAN ACTUALLY SPEAK- I INTERRUPT SOMEONE ELSE! Of course this doesnt happen that often, to be honest Im too busy wriitng during my lunch break to talk, but you know. PRIORITIES!!!

I LOVE PINTEREST SO MUCH. GOING CRAZY WITH IDIA SHROUD IN THE BACKGROUND 😍😍😍 i love idia sheoud i relate to him sm (not really) tbh I feel like i relate to him- but at the same time I dont??? Bec he gets prideful and arrogant sometimes and I dont get like that (HEH NOT TO FLEX OR ANYTHING 😼😼🤗🤗)

I feel like if I related to anyone, it would probably be leona. Not because hes like super fit or anything- LIKE IM THE FURTHEST AWAY FROM HIM PERSONALITY. Its just that like, him being the second and stuff, doomed to never be the first, the best, really resonates with me. Especially since Im surrounded by people who self-proclaim themselves as ‘first places’ everyday, kinda gets on my nerves… WRITING IDEA!!!!

Like im not saying having a big ego is wrong, nor am I saying that those peoples achievements are bad BECAUSE they are so amazing. i think they should be proud of that, and they dont owe humility to anyone because they worked hard for it, (AHEM AHEM VIL SCHOENHEIT MY KING). But its when they see people that are trying to reach for those ambitions and they flaunt how they could do better. THATS when I start doubting their ability. Because you could be the best in the world, but if your too busy running your mouth about how your the best, you’ll be left in the dust- and youll find that all those people who were under you before… Appeared triumphant.

IDK DAILY WORDS OF WISDOM ADDED HERE TOO. Vil Schoenheit my KINGGGGG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WANT TO BE LIKE HIM. When i become rlly good at writing, I want to be able to act like him!! Because he is confident in himself, doesnt owe humility to anyone (but of course still expresses it from time to time), and is respectful about it (we dont talk about book 5). I love Vil Schoenheit, such a misunderstoid character fr. OH YEAH

If your not a twisted wonderland fan, these are the characters I mentioned in this post!!!

^ Idia Shroud in the middle, next to his lil’ bro Ortho Shroud!!

^ Vil Shoenheit in the middle, to the right is Rook Hunt, and to his left is Epel Felmier (the short one!)

^ Leona Kingscholar!!

ALRIGHT GUYS!!! Now, I have math hw. SO I NEEDA BOUNCE! SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW AND STUFF!!!

Daily music rec is Sponsored by this guy !!!@unmotivatedartistry PRETTY GOOD SONG!!!

Here are some snacks for the road: 🍔🍔🌭🌯🥙🥪🥪🍕🌯🥗🥙🍔🥪🌯 (taco bell burritos proceed with caution)

BYEEEEEEEEE

-Kani

[nothingenoughao3]

Hi!

I´ve been planning on making a hard cover Reanimator fanfic book for a while and i would like to know if i could include Dreams in the Necromancer House after its finished! It would be just one book (not selling it) and i´ll give the proper credits both on the summary and the beggining of the story. Im also thinking about doing an illustration of each chapter and putting there, so there´s that too. If it ends up really happening i plan on posting the progress on my tumblr!

We can talk a bit more about it if you have any regards about the crediting stuff or anything like it, but its ok if you dont like the idea too!

Hope you have a good day!

Hi @camelosuspeito! I am going to reply to you in particular, but my opening is going to be generic in case anybody else has a similar question. You've kind of triggered an unskippable cutscene, so I'll let you know that the answer is yes ahead of time. I hope that's okay, and that you're having a good night/whatever your local time is!

Generally speaking, I can only support fan binding of my works if they are offered free of charge, or are personal copies not for sale.

My reasons for not supporting fan binding for pay for my works in particular are simple. I offer all of my fanfiction free of charge. That does not mean that they are free of labor. I've been writing fic since I was sixteen; I'm now in my forties. I've put roughly two decades of practice into creating fanworks. This doesn't touch upon the original works I've produced in that same timeframe, nor having to learn basic HTML to create websites back in the day to host fanworks at a time when they were regularly banned from mainstream platforms, etc.

Despite all that, I am giving my writing for free. To me, the point of transformative fanwork is creating, developing, and maintaining the fandom, in joy and in suffering. I could charge people a fee to access my Re-Animator essays on some other site. That would be the smart move and my bills would sure appreciate getting paid. I don't do that because I am also poor and I feel it would be unethical to put a paywall between impoverished fans and transformative works. I'll probably create a tip jar here one of these days, but that's all it would be--a tip jar for people who appreciate what I do.

Accordingly, I see people charging over a hundred euros for binding fanfic, and I get a bad taste in my mouth. As far as I can tell, nobody on Etsy is getting their own fanfic bound, nor are folks offering fan bindings of their own works. They are taking the labor of a third party and making money off it, and it's really not clear whether any of the fanwriters whose works are being sold even know whether or not it's happening or consented to it.

It reminds me of how in the mid-2010s, somebody went through my AO3 profile and uploaded a bunch of my Star Trek and Twin Peaks fics as ebooks for sale. That troubled me. If they sold one of my fics, that's only five dollars--but it's pretty much pure profit for them, and so very worthwhile. It sucks offering something for free and having people take advantage of that in the name of their own profit.

And again, this is all just about me and how I feel about my work. Other folks can and will feel differently and that's okay! I'm not passing judgement.

Soooooo, all of that being said, you're not doing that. You are asking to do a fan binding of "Dreams in the Necromancer House" for you, and as you've described it here, that's fine with me! If you still like it after it's finished and you want to have a personal copy of it, go nuts with that! I think crediting me as the author on the cover or author's page would be more than enough, given that it would just be yours.

I think seeing your process for producing it would be very interesting, and so would the illustrations! Feel free to tag me as much as you like when you're ready to get going.

[yukipri]

hi i hate to be a bother but i love your fic but i cant get more than a dozen or so chapters in bc i keep getting horrible anxiety about how the "present" time is ready to explode and i cant read longfic if it ends badly, could you say if the "present" time has a good resolution? no pressure at all, if you dont want to do that ill just wait for the return to the "present" and get the spoilers from my friends reading it

Thanks for liking my fic! Even if you're only able to get through part of it ^ ^;

So, hmm. I'm going to do my best to answer your question. I hope you understand that I don't feel comfortable (or frankly, capable) of telling you how the fic ends, as we are very very far away from that still (plus, I'm writing the fic for a reason!).

I can say that I personally do not consider the present "ready to explode" in any way. It is, in my opinion, the calmest time that the clones have ever experienced in the short, 13 years of their existence. Sure there's a lot going on, but for the very first time, they are in control of their own fate, and mostly have the upper hand. Is Sidious still out there? Yes. But Sidious is just as confused as, well, Obi-Wan right now, and he is actively on the run, which is more than can be said of any point we've seen of him in canon. Are there other threats too? Of course, but again, for once the clones are able to choose how to act without hiding. If anything, it's post-explosion, the explosion being the Override.

Why do the clones feel so in control? Well, that has to do a lot with the actual mechanics and process of the Override, which we are piecing together in the past.

It's true that Obi-Wan is a bit alarmed and very confused because he doesn't know what's going on. But he'll be alright, because the clones are, again, very calm and in control, and he'll take his cues from them. One of his purposes in the present is to be the audience lens through which new developments are revealed, but most of these things are not new or alarming to the clones, and they are the ones this all primarily affects. Will the clones tell Obi-Wan everything immediately? Of course not. But again, one of the purposes of writing this story non-chronologically and going into the past is so that you, the reader, can understand what's going on, and when the clones choose to share something with Obi-Wan, know the full context of that. Either way, Obi-Wan is a side character and not the primary focus in this story!

While there will be developments and action in the present eventually, right now it's far more a time of reflection, at least for the clones. There is going to be a lot of coming to terms with the past, personal reflection on identity, culture, freedom, the Republic, and the future of their new home. There is going to be more exploration of their life, and lots of politics and what it means to run a people that is no longer under subjugation. There is going to be following up on stuff from the war. There is going to be a significant amount of angst. However, nothing will "explode" for a very, very long time—we don't yet have enough context for that.

In comparison, I consider much of the "past" to be lighter, because sure it covers the war which is dark, but it's also familiar to us via canon media, except there's now the undercurrent of knowledge of all these networks and safety measures that exist, as well as new tools that Jango is actively working on. So it's bad, but we know it's not as bad. There's also just a lot more humor, since everybody (especially Jango) is still figuring things out! In the present, we kinda see the polished version after they become pros ^ ^;

We should be returning to the present in a few chapters (no clue how long those chapters will take), but a fair warning that it will be written with the assumption that you have read all previous chapters. Skipping all of the past will probably mean that a lot of it won't make sense, and I'm sorry, but I won't apologize for that, nor will I explain it when it's explained in the fic! The past bits do exist for a reason! And not just the events, but the thought processes that the characters had in the past will affect their present.

Likewise, we won't just stay in the present once we're back; after a while, we'll return to the past again, and probably eventually jump back to the present, etc. That's just how this story works.

Again, I'd rather not comment too much on the actual ending but, I do not consider this story a tragedy. It's not as simple as a fix-it either, and there's plenty of angst along the way, but I don't think you need to worry about it being a horrible conclusion.

I hope this answers your question! And I hope I didn't spoil myself too badly. Everything above that is not yet written is subject to change, because I do not want to limit my writing to what I said in an ask response, but I think this is a decent idea of what to expect.

I'm not here to tell you how (or even if!) to read my story, but yeah, the past is essential, because the present would not exist without it.

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

[epithet-beloved]

ill try to keep my ramsey-related requests limited cause i dont wanna lose control but what are your dating headcanons for him 🤔

DATING RAMSEY MURDOCH

synopsis…  headcanons about dating Ramsey Murdoch !

ft. Ramsey Murdoch 

tags… relationship study, fluff

word count… 839

a/n… never feel bad for sending requests that’s what we’re for !!! It always makes us happy and we love writing these !! Also I promise you will catch me writing other characters in the future (I have a silly Slim post locked and loaded in the queue) for now I’m just snatching all the Ramsey posts and I feel confident about this one in particular because I am a Ramsey kisser myself so boy do I have headcanons ✧ 🦇

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Starting off strong Ramsey is really into physical affection. Hand holding, hugging, kissing; you name it. He’s up for all of it.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 So part of dating him is genuinely just having him hover around you constantly with at least an arm wrapped around your shoulders, whether you’re in public or in private (he has no problem with PDA; but if you do, he’ll stop. Your comfort comes first!)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He’s a really attentive lover, he’ll memorize small things you mention about yourself or stuff you like

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 If you mention you want something, he will probably definitely get it for you as a gift, no matter how cheap or expensive it is. He’s big on gift giving too.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Genuinely? He does not understand how you find him attractive, people usually recoil or make a face when they see him.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 And yet you look at him with those big eyes full of admiration and wonder… Oh he could just melt right then and there. No one has ever really looked at him like that.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Call him handsome? Gorgeous? Beautiful? Anything? He’s gone. There’s steam cartoonishly coming out of his ears. He is unresponsive and his face is redder than his hair.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 It’s kind of part of the fact that draws him to you: you’re not disgusted by his appearance at first glance, nor do you seem to find it hard to look at him; he knows he’s not the most attractive person and to think you do find him attractive?? The most beautiful person he’s ever seen??? He’s a WRECK

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 It is so obvious when this guy has a crush on someone

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He hands you flowers he morphed into gold. He just always kind of stands around you when you’re in the same room. He definitely tries to flirt just to fluster you or hear you laugh.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Even if he fails catastrophically at flirting with you and falls over while trying to lean on a wall, he still claims it as a success if he hears you laugh (before he melts into a puddle when you’re all worried asking if he’s okay)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 All in all Ramsey is very open with his emotions. You can easily tell when he dislikes or likes someone, he feels like it's not worth hiding it.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 But when you start flirting back and showing genuine interest in him? He’s terrified you’re making fun of him. Because why would someone as gorgeous as you want someone like him???

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Please hold his face and comfort him. He has small tears in his eyes if you do but he promises they’re happy tears

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He understands that perhaps what someone has inside is more important than the outside, but he has to admit the judgment of the outside still hurts a little bit

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He has so much to offer in terms of personality and affection and you definitely get to see all of it.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Think of a love language and this guy probably has some of it in him.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Physical touch? Absolutely. Big cuddler. Holds you like a teddy bear if you sleep in the same bed (he snores really loud though so good luck with that)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He’s also warm so bonus points in winter you have your personal heater

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Gift giving? As mentioned above, mention literally anything you like and he’s getting it for you. He might have scammed someone to get it if it’s expensive. He does not tell you.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 And he hopes you don’t figure it out because he does not want to get yelled at. He just wanted to get you something nice :(

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Acts of service? He’s not a morning person but would absolutely get out of bed earlier than you in the morning to make you both breakfast. 

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He’s not a very good cook but he tried his best!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Quality time?? SIGN HIM UP

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He loves date nights. He gets so excited to do anything with you. But honestly? His favorite way to spend time with you is at home with some takeout and maybe watching a good movie together (and maybe you also cuddle)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He also likes cooking with you but again. Not a really good cook. You’ll have to do most of the work. Sorry

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 By the way the flirting he does with you pre-dating does not change in the slightest after you’re an official thing. 

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He’s just more confident now and has no problem sounding all cheesy. He looooves making you flustered

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He’s the type of guy to point at the scar on his eye and ask you to kiss it better

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 (He just wants an excuse to kiss you)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 My favorite headcanon is that he would definitely turn something of yours into gold so you just always kind of have a memento of him with you, he thinks it’s nice. 

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He’s a good partner but certainly not perfect (who is, honestly) so there might be some bumps in the road here and there

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 But no matter what he absolutely adores you and wouldn’t trade what you two have for anything in the world

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

my only critique of a lot of readers is they always seem to expect us to 100% buy into everything they post, if you try to even say oh theyre definitely being a tad too delusional surely an idol just isnt going to tell someone on tne internet their sexual preferences when the idols are usually aware of whats on the internet anyway (felix already knows about tumblr) its just almost hilarious to me that they even try to tell us such things in their readings i mainly take them with a grain of salt but they still want people to blindly believe what they write in their blog posts and never question them or their readings. theres defo some readers with an ego the size of a football pitch fr.

i do find readings useful but if they start getting overly detailed. some write essays long responses when i think a short paragraph is good enough imho if theyre writing essay length reading it seems false at times. like what are they trying to prove? even if they write essay length readings they act like theyve got the idols talking directly too them, i also go in phases of believing tarot and not believing it because i know bloggers know what make people click and ask them such questions about someoen famous that they dont really know. i dont hate them as people i just never really agree with their way of going about it or more often how they fail to take on critique in a mature way even tho they say its just for entertainment many seem to take it too seriously themselves. i find it a bit iffy, almost egoistical like they have some type of inside info that others dont have even if its not truly always accurate. idk does any of this make sense? many didnt want to take accountability for peoples obsession with jungkooks future spouse nor people putting said thoughts in peopoes heads about who she my or may not be or when or how they may meet again its like im torn between being a curious nosy lil bugger myself or not asking out of respect for the idol incase they do come across such readings. i think 18+ readings are definitely more fake tho.

Oh, he knows about tumblr lol Everyone has a right to question readings and I am open for people to question mine. No one should take readings as fact or claim they are, sometimes I don't believe what I get myself lol Because these messages aren't really coming from me and messages can be misconstrued. I just interpret the messages and move on. I never hold on to what I get or even think about it too much, mostly forget lol

[angy-grrr]

Noguchi has been posting Izch art continously since the volume's release and ppl still think SJ forced Hori and his team to write this Izch ending.

since when Noguchi is horikoshi? Im just saying the author didnt give a fuck about this side thing, he cared about the main hero story.

Noguchi can post whatever he wants to promote the extra -and he is a dudebro, so I dont even know what to do with the things he posts or says. This dent confirm nor deny anything.

Idk who you are, but if you are one of those accounts telling bkdk focused accounts how this is all what the author wanted, how we are delusional for thinking otherwise, and trying to change our perspective into a negative one, ill just delete anything else you ask.

[the-kr8tor]

Okay warnings to the people when you post this bc it has spoilers for the new chapter of dbas, thats my warning bc i need to talk about it

…Specifically this

Like… THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT MJ IN THIS ARENT THEY? AND THE GUY TRIES MAKING IT SEEM LIKE WE ARE A TRAITOR AND THEN MIELS SAYS NOT TO USE THAT WORD. THEN EVEN LATER WE HAVE A CONVO WITH HOBIE AND THE POOR BABY TENSES UP WHEN THE WORD IS BROUGH UP LIKE?! MJ BETRAYED THEM SHE HAD TO, AND THE TRINKETS AND SHIT IN THE ROOM WE ARE IN HAS TO BE MJS ROOM BC WE KNOW HOBIE HAS TRUST ISSUES AND SHES PROBABLY THE REASON WHY. AND THE CAPTIVE SAYING THAT ONLY PROVES IT EVEN MORE WITH THE ‘REPLACEMENT’ AND THE DAY HES TALKING ABOUT IS PROBABLY THE DAY HOBIE FOUND OUT MJ WAS A TRAITOR AND SHIT WENT DOWN THAT DAY.

I do love how hobie jokes with us but i hated being called out as reader, like sir stop reading me and how about i read you. But the stuff with readers mother though or the motherly figure she had, with like the necklace as well and all that. I feel like hobie might be hiding it or something, i dont know like when it had the necklace it felt weird… fishy. Like. I dont know how to describe it but it makes me so sad when like grabbing for the necklace and not having it there (ive felt that)

And the fact that r is slowly losing memories of the motherly person because of some greedy mfs. Like my heart broke reading that where its so hard to recall memories and all that because i genuinely actually struggle with my memory and it makes it so horrible having loved someone and slowly forgetting them, their voice, their face, what they taught you, and ect.

I could go on an even more/longer tangent but i cant remember things word for word or cant remember things after hours of not seeing it and after naps. Today im a little dazed. But i still love and appreciate your series and im so excited for it

I will be heartbroken if reader ends up leaving the ship because i swear to god, because i know everyone on that ship loves and needs reader, especially for wounds and shit like that. Hobies gonna need reader, they all need reader so like. Stay on the ship reader youll have a sense of comfort and youll have the family you lost because of greed and your own trauma. Come on reader, plus you got loads of books‼️‼️ Plus bonus you get a hot captain and amazing crewmates. I need to like, stop this tangent.

I love your writing, you are my favorite author, and i cant wait for everything. Everything from you makes me extremely happy and im very happy that me going on rants like this to you can make you motivated to right, because i do pay attention to our other convos.

SPOILER WARNING ⚠️

AHHHHHH!!! You have no idea how this made my day!!! Thank you for telling me your thoughts!

I can't deny nor confirm 🤭🤭🤭

Hobie was roasting the shit out of R 🤣🤣 She needs to roast him back tbh

I have a problem with memory too 😭 like it's not even cute anymore 😔 like I have to occasionally read my old works just to remember it again and I always go "I wrote this? Damn what a banger" 🤣

Hey, we'll see in the next chapter if she stays!! I'm actually so excited for that one because [redacted] and then they [redacted] oh it'll be so fun to write!!

🥹🥹🥹 Thank you! You calling me an author made me tear up 😭 I try my best at writing since I strive to continue on improving with every work I put out so that one day I'll be confident enough to write that one novel idea that I have! Interactions like these make me so happy and motivated to just keep on writing so thank you, my love! (⁠*⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠)⁠/⁠～⁠♡

[marunalu]

Dekacchann and you have more in common.

Equally dogmatic and delusional about what they believe in to the end.

When everyone except you and your blind follower can see it not true.

When you are proven false you will still deny or come up with something to cope.

Let's see how it happen.

You know for someone who clearly doesnt like me or agrees with me in anything I write (couldnt care less about that, because its your opinion) you are pretty obsessed with me, arent you??

What about I say or write is dogmatic or delusional? I tell people to chill and to wait what will happen (exactly what you wrote at the very end and the only thing I agree with you) and remind them of FACTS that the story already told us, or are you trying to deny what the author of the story already confirmed and hinted?!

And for someone who is trying to play the moral compass, you are very determinded to force your opinion on others, trying to shame them for liking a simple theory that doesnt harm anyone (unlike dekakchan and HER followers who OPENLY bully people for not liking bkdk which neither I nor my followers do, because we are pretty chill people actually as long as we dont get attacked first), clearly follows my posts so you can stalk me like the complete weirdo you are and make assumptions of my person despite that you dont know me!

Seriously WHY are you so fucking obsessed with me??? Its creepy as hell!