#can you tell i really want people to read this fucking trilogy lmao

[stevesnightmares]

I just re-read the captive prince trilogy after 9 years so here are some thoughts and observations (I read a physical copy while listening to the audiobbok):

No spoilers

the books are super easy to read, I read each of them in a day and never once did I get bored or felt like I needed to take a break. If you enjoy them I feel like they work perfectly if you are in a reading slump.

I might be biased because I was also listening to it while reading but I feel like the writing worked just fine. I saw people say that the writing was awful but I didn't have any problems at all with it. I was never once confused by what was happening on page nor did I ever feel like too little or too much was being said and described.

One of my gripes with the writing comes in book 3 because I felt like the two parts that had Laurent POV just didn't work because it didn't feel like it was a stylistic choice and it didn't feel natural or needed, it just made me think that the author didn't know how to write that from Demen POV (which makes no sense because I know she can)

not only that but I also feel like it would've worked much better if we didn't get those scenes and continued with Demen's knowledge instead of making us privy to something he didn't know. I genuinely think they were unnecessary.

I might've missed something but in book 3 there is also a part where I felt like what Demen is thinking in a chapter and then what he claims and thinks a few chapters later don't align. With no spoilers, this is how it felt to me: chapter 1: demen thoughts: the apple fell from the tree chapter 3: demen thoughts and words: I knew the apple didn't fall on it's own and that there was a reason for it to fall.

I don't know why people say that these books handle its dark themes badly. Personally I think it handled everything quite well. Just because every 3 seconds the author isn't telling you "this is bad" it doesn't mean that it's poorly done or supports any of the bad things that happen.

The characters live in extremely flawed societies that have practices that we wouldn't condemn, so of course they will not immediately start out being against them, it wouldn't make sense, instead throughout the books and events they slowly start to realise why some things are bad. It's called character development.

Not only that, words coming out of a flawed and traumatised character shouldn't be taken as the moral of the book but as what they are: words of a flawed and traumatised character who is lashing out.

I feel like many people saw that very bad things that happen in these books and instrad of saying "I can't read that", which is fair, they decided to take the high horse and act as if it's morally wrong to like these books because bad things are portrayed in them.

Book 2 I think was my favourite, I devoured it and it was just super fun to read.

My second gripe is with Jokaste but without spoiling anything I can only say that her character was imo wasted and that it just felt like the author had 2 very different ideas of who she was in book 1 and book 3.

I LOVE laurent, he's just the type of characters that I enjoy, cold and guarded on the outside but only because he wants to protect himself while being also sweet.

Also really enjoyed many of the side characteristics which I thought were really interesting (I would've enjoyed more interactions between those other characteristics and L and D but that's a personal taste)

I actually think that 9 years ago I only read the first book and the first half of the second while skimming through the rest lmao

also I will not tell you which character I didn't like at all and found annoying when I was 16 but would die for in an instant now because you'll think 16 years old me was psychopath because what the fuck

[cyberphuck]

Assassin’s Apprentice Abridged: Part Two

Read Part One (My friend Razz wants to understand my Farseer Trilogy shitposts but doesn’t want to have to actually read the books, so I decided to summarize them. This turned out to be much harder than I thought it would be! Here’s part two of ASSASSIN’S APPRENTICE: ABRIDGED!) When we last left our hero, Fitz was a little baby following an old man into a hole in the wall.

"Gosh, Chade," Fitz says, after a wholesome montage of him learning how to steal things and poison people, "I love hanging out with you. It sure is neato to have a friend. I get to do all sorts of pranks around the castle, and once in a while the King even calls me to his rooms to remind me I'm a tool of the Crown!"

"You know what would be really funny?" Chade asks, eyes alight with glee.

Jump cut to Fitz's Twilight-esque depressive episode. He lays in bed for days, staring at the wall, refusing to get up. Burrich comes up to his rooms to ask Fitz what the fuck is going on with him and assumes he's dying.

Fitz can't tell him that Chade asked him to steal from the King and he refused, because everything about Chade is a secret. Burrich doesn't know that Chade told Fitz that if he wasn't game to yoink something from Shrewd's chambers, that he could get the fuck out and never come back.

"Watch this, Shrewd! You can actually pinpoint the second when Fitz's heart rips in half!"

(Burrich tries to cure Fitz's ailment by introducing him to alcoholism. He's like ten.)

Sitting in his room alone and drunk, Fitz starts wailing. He cries and cries until Chade finally comes back down through the secret wall-door to hug him. "Me and Shrewd wanted to see if you were really loyal," he says. "So we traumatized you. We really wanted to introduce you to depression, alcohol, and abject betrayal at a young age and this was the quickest way to do it."

"I want my mommy," Fitz sobs.

"There, there," Chade says, drugging him and leaving.

Later, Fitz is summoned to speak to King Shrewd again, who explains that it was all his idea to give Fitz borderline personality disorder and absolutely does not apologize for it. Fitz takes a knife from the breakfast table in Shrewd's room, brings it back to Chade, and stabs it into the mantle above the fireplace.

I like to think that every time Fitz throws himself into needless danger for the next ten books, Chade looks up at that knife and goes "lol. lmao."

--

"Hey Lil Accident," says Head Scribemaster, "you're pretty good at writing. You wanna be my apprentice?"

"Gosh. I'd get to go places and do things," Fitz marvels. "And almost none of them would involve poisoning people!"

Chade Mission-Impossible drops from the ceiling and hangs above Fitz for long enough to tell him that no, he can't be a scribe's apprentice, for one thing he's already learning to be an assassin, and for another Fitz is kind of an important political tool, being a bastard of a Prince, and someone would definitely murder him.

"Sorry," Fitz tells the Scribemaster, "my uncle said no."

"But you can go down into town and buy some stuff for me, since you've been good," Chade says, reeling back up into the rafters.

Fitz jumps to his feet. "Oh, boy, social interaction! I haven't seen my hoodlum friends in a year! And you know who ELSE I haven't seen in a long time? MY MOM!"

He strides happily past a sad woman in the street wearing an anime mom side ponytail, completely ignoring her in favor of his old friend Molly Nosebleed, who goes by Molly Chandler now that her dad has stopped punching her in the face.

"You're the only girl I know, besides that hysterical woman over there screaming that I'm her son," Fitz says. "I think I have a crush on you."

"Neat," Molly giggles.

Lovestruck Fitz gathers his groceries and heads back up the road to the keep. Princes Verity and Regal ride by, carrying a banner that says "CHIVALRY'S DEAD. THE PRINCE, NOT THE CONCEPT. I MEAN THE CONCEPT IS ALSO DEAD, BUT THE MAIN POINT OF THIS MESSAGE IS THAT PRINCE CHIVALRY FARSEER HAS FALLEN FROM HIS HORSE AND"

Burrich shaves his head. And his beard. And his eyebrows. And his dog's hair. And Fitz's hair too, for good measure. Fitz, rubbing his new buzzcut, says "God, if you loved him so much, maybe you should have married him," and Burrich flings himself into the sea.

"We should be careful," Chade says, later. "Because Chivalry was probably murdered. Anyway, you're going on a road trip. tl;dr one of the dukes isn't properly manning the watchtowers that keep vikings from viking the coast, and Prince Verity has to go deal with it, and you're going with him."

"What's a teal deer?" Fitz asks.

Wandering around outside the castle later, Fitz runs into Shrewd's Fool with a capital F, the albino freak-child that cartwheels around in the King's wake all day.

"Oh no," Fitz says. "Are you lost, little freak child?"

"fjdaklfdafds," says the Fool.

"Come on little fella, I'm not gonna hurt you," Fitz smiles.

"FDAJKFDLALSDFAS," the Fool repeats, louder.

"Do you need an adult?"

The Fool steps up to Fitz, grabs him by the shirt, yanks him down to eye level, and says, "Fitz Fixes a Feist's Fits. Fat Suffices, you fucking beautiful dumbass."

Fitz stares at him.

"I thought you were too dumb to know how words worked," he says finally.

The Fool flips him off and cartwheels away.

"...Weird," Fitz mutters. "Whatever, time to go to NEATBAY! I hope I get to kill somebody!" On the way to Neatbay (in a riding party consisting of Prince Verity and like half the staff of Buckkeep), Fitz pals around with stableboy Hands, and meets Mysterious Old Person Lady Thyme, who is a person that sucks in every way possible.

Hands whispers to Fitz that everyone in Buck knows that Lady Thyme sucks and avoids her. Lady Thyme shrieks that you whippersnappers better not be liking yourselves up there!

Fitz and co. finally arrive in Neatbay. It's a walled city like the place in Attack on Titan, with concentric fortifications like an obstacle course that Vikings have never been able to Vike all the way past (this will not be important again until the next book). It's ruled by Lord Kelvar and his trophy wife and if Kelvar doesn't get off his ass and start manning the watchtowers Fitz might have to poison him to death.

They have dinner. Fitz hates rich people. He eyeballs everybody at the table.

That night before bed, Verity calls Fitz into his room. "What's going on with Lord What's His Face?" He asks the boy.

Fitz explains a very complex situation about how Lord Kelvar is clearly trying to impress his Young Hotness Wife with lots of jewels and shit and his Young Hotness Wife is trying to impress everyone else with her jewels and shit and meanwhile all those jewels and shit could be going to pay to man the watchtowers and the roads, and Kelvar has to take some pride in doing it or else he'll become embittered and...

"I'm going to tell Lord Kelvar to stop being a puss and man the watchtowers," Verity says, and turns over to go to sleep.

Fitz facepalms.

Late in the night, Fitz wakes up starving and ninja-sneaks down to the kitchens to grab a midnight snack. While he's there, a woman comes in with a little doggie wrapped in a blanket.

"My poor little doggie is dying," she sobs. "This type of dog is a small hunting dog called a 'feist,' by the way."

"Hack," says the dog.

"I think your dog is choking on something," Fitz observes, whipping out his stethoscope. "Yeah, there's definitely something jammed down there. Let's get it out. Hold your dog steady."

Fitz finds a long hook, slathers it in butter, and wiggles it down the dog's throat while the dog yowls and pees and scratches the Mysterious Blanket Woman. It takes a minute, but eventually he manages to dislodge a chicken bone from doggie's gullet and they all sit back, panting, while LeVar Burton comes onto the screen and lectures the audience about never letting your pets eat poultry or fish bones and the importance of limiting table scraps and keeping them on a healthy diet. Thanks LeVar!

"You saved my doggie's life," Blanket Woman says, and pulls back her blanket to reveal that she is actually Lord Kelvar's Young Hotness Wife! "I shall repay you in any way you wish."

"I'm thirteen," Fitz says.

"Any way you wish," the woman repeats.

Fitz scratches his head. "Oh! Tell your idiot husband to man the fucking watchtowers before you get Vikinged to death. I mean," he amends, "I had a prophetic vision that a strong and graceful trophy wife spread out her arms to protect the laaand wooooo~"

Then he goes back to bed.

...And is woken up YET AGAIN by a servant telling him that Lady Thyme is demanding his presence down in town.

Oh. Joy.

Fitz gets dressed, saddles up Sooty the horse, rides to the inn that Lady Thyme is staying at, knocks on the door. "I heard you're calling for me," he sighs. "Are you dying or something? Please say you're dying."

Chade opens the door. "Fooled you, boy," he cackles. "I am Lady Thyme! And we have to go to Forge right now."

"You made me empty out a pot full of your shit every single morning for five days," Fitz says.

"Get on your horse," Chade orders, and they're off.

"You know, I've never actually seen you outdoors before," Fitz says as they gallop down the coast. "It's-- are you snorting coke right now?"

Chade sneezes, wiping his nose. "Stay in school."

They ride hell-for-leather for Forge, a little town known for two things: iron exports and being raided by Vikings. They manage to get there twelve hours after the nick of time because Chade had to return some VHS tapes, and find little more than a completely burned-down village and some zombies.

"Chade, are those slow zombies like in Dawn of the Dead, or fast zombies like in the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake?" Fitz asks, watching the zombies shambling around and fighting over pieces of rotten bread and pairs of pants.

"Run," Chade advises, and they do.

On the road out, they pass a bunch of non-zombie survivors moving all their slightly singed possessions to another town. Nobody wants to stay in a town infested with zombies, which the people of the kingdom start calling Forged people, or just Forged, because one of the rules of zombie movies is that none of the characters can say "zombies."

Over the course of the next few months, more and more people are kidnapped by Vikings and Forged, but no one can agree exactly what should be done about it.

And then one night, Fitz is picking his nose alone at a table in the kitchens when another mysterious woman approaches him…

[ignitesthestxrs]

it is funny that I think i would have fully agreed with you if i had only read the grisha trilogy but the first book i ever read of the entire grishaverse was demon in the wood lmao. then i read the trilogy and then kos too. but i still agree with the 'he was incapable of making the world a better place' argument but disagree with the 'he never wanted to' because i think he did but not in the heroic 'i will give up anything to make the world better' but in the 'i will make the world better by ruling it and sometimes when i make choices so selfish that they don't align with the make world better thing at all i will explain them away as necessary and go by my day'. i also think his psychology kinda has a right to be fucked up (as his initial motivation has been set up to make a safe sanctuary for grisha and then he saw persecution for so long and all of those things with kings and what not would make most people fucked up) but that doesn't mean anyone else has to carry that burden. alina had full right to defend herself and the people and did right by not making aleksander more powerful because the result would have been even more destruction. i think he did some things with double motives: the second army was for the benefit of grisha as well as his own. he also wanted people's love because he thought he deserved it for all of his sacrifices for them.

it does seem that you have misinterpreted what i've said.

obviously i don't have an eidetic memory of every post i've ever made about the darkling over the years, but in the post i reblogged today and the ask i answered, i didn't say that he never wanted to?

the interesting point of tension in the character is the difference between what he says he wants, and what his actions show he wants. the man is lying to everyone, including himself. do i believe that when he was a teenager being persecuted for his power, he wanted to make the world a better place for grisha? sure, but 800 years have passed since then and he is literally the most powerful grisha in the world. he can cut people in half with his willpower. he has actively made the world worse - he has certainly made ravka worse.

he is not interested in saving grisha, he is interested in bending the world to his will in the name of saving grisha. this is the excuse he uses for himself, and it's the thing he tells alina, and also the world, in order to try to convince people that his atrocities are justified. but he will discard and kill any grisha who stands against him, he will cause a civil war between grisha within ravka because he can't stand the idea of grisha have safety, power, or agency without him.

he doesn't want to save the grisha, he wants to own them. i do think you can say that he wants to create a place where grisha can't be persecuted by non-grisha, but also he had 800 years as the darkling to implement a strategy, and the idea he came up with was 'weaponise the fold so the world is so terrified of my superweapon that they'll do anything i say'.

a really important part of reading comprehension is parsing the difference between what a character says and what they do. another important aspect is understanding that a well-written character will like, change. the events that motivate the darkling in Demon in the Woods are different then what is motivating him in the original trilogy, because in that time he has gone from being a persecuted teenage boy, to being the power behind the throne who has devastated his kingdom and is in control of an entire army. yes, his childhood trauma informs and animates a lot of his decision making, and obviously forms a core part of his character, but the character has had other experiences since then that have formed additional aspects of his character. Demon in the Woods doesn't rewrite what he did in the trilogy, it adds additional context to show us how he got to be the particular type of dude he is when we see him in the books.

i would also push back against the idea that he wants 'love'. he could have had love! alina loves him, such as she is able to when he's trying to destroy everything she knows lol. he doesn't want love, he wants devotion. he wants unwavering loyalty. that's why he put a collar on her, and why he ultimately loses his mind over her opposing him instead of just holding out for another human lifespan.

like sure you can make the argument that his understanding of what love is is flawed, which, sure. i think he can want love ambiently, in the 'it would be nice to be loved' sense. but his own actions show that, when asked to choose between love and power, he'll choose power every time. so like, does he want love? maybe, i guess, but not more than he wants power. not more than he wants to be able to control alina, and his mother, and ravka, and the world.

again, that tension is the interesting thing about the character. he says one thing, but does something that disproves the thing he says. that's the manipulation, not only of alina, but of the reader. he wants so badly for everyone to believe that he's righteous and good and the only person who knows what the world really needs, he's even convinced himself of that to a degree. but the second things escape his control even a little bit, he proves himself a liar, because his goals immediately pivot to getting that control back.

a villain doesn't have to believe he's a villain to behave like one. the darkling is a pretty classic manipulative, abusive kind of character who will make every bad thing he did a reasonable action that someone - typically alina - pushed him into. she made him burn down that orphanage. he never would have attacked the prince's birthday party if she had just come with him quietly. if she hadn't run away from him, he never would have collared her. if she didn't love mal, he wouldn't have tried to kill him. if she would just behave then he wouldn't have to hurt her like this. he's doing this for the sake of the world, don't you see? you don't? fine. make him your villain. he'll make that sacrifice if it means getting his way saving ravka. he's the only person in the world willing to do what it takes.

eventually you'll see.

[secretagentfan]

Some attempted, painful, words of hope:

I've been thinking a lot about how I felt when reading Parable of the Sower. Octavia Butler wrote this book in 1993, and it takes place in 2024.

Before Parable of the Sower, I prided myself on finishing "good books" and putting down "bad books". Sower was the exception. It is one of the best books I've ever read, and I never finished it. I'm going to talk about it anyway. I think I need to.

I read a good chunk of it on a plane ride, where there was no escape. I was looking for books that look at religion in a nuanced way and I knew empathy was a main theme, which, fuck yeah.

I was not prepared.

Parable has your standard pre-apocalypse set-up. It's a small town in a horrible world (ours) surrounded by a wall. There are signs that the wall is going to come down, and the young protagonist picks up on these signs.

Early on she tells her friend about it, tells her that they need to prepare to learn to survive. Her friend cries to her parents, and her friend's parents then proceed to get mad at the protagonist's parents for teaching their daughter to fearmonger.

The scene that occurs after this, between main character and her pastor father, punched me in the chest. He basically tells her she's right about the wall falling-- he tells her that the adults in the town all know, and are doing their best to prepare for it. Most young people, he argues, can't handle carrying the knowledge the wall is going to fall. He says that when they discover it for the first time, all they want to do is point at the void-- just point at the big scary thing that needs correcting. But, he insists, that just breeds extremism.

Instead, he advises her to point NEXT to the void. Start learning survival stuff on her own, work it into her life and the lives of others in sneaky subtle ways. Ways that won't scare people-- but ways that they'll have when they need it.

It doesn't sit well with her, but she loves her father, and she tries.

The wall falls anyway.

When it does, it's awful. Like, whatever horrible thing you can imagine happening to people (especially women) happens and happens so much.

When my plane ride was over. I set the book down and googled. Childishly, I wanted to make sure there was a 'happy ending' before continuing. I learned there was, more or less, and that there was a sequel book too. Parable of the Talents, in which a political leader embarks on a crusade to cleanse America of non-Christian faiths. His slogan? "Make America Great Again".

Nope. No way. I thought. Too close. Oh God, how did Octavia Butler manage to get his slogan back in 1993!?

On top of that, I also learned that Parable of the Sower, and Parable of the Talents were intended to be part of trilogy, but Octavia Butler passed away before writing the third book.

So, knowing this I picked the book up again, read until I reached a spot I determined was hopeful enough and I set it down.

I wasn't ready to start a book that ended up in Trump times, and didn't have a known ending.

I told myself I wasn't quitting, just taking a mental break. I promised to come back to Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents when I was in a better mental place and more ready to handle the themes.

(Lol. Lmao even. )

Well guys, here we are. Trump 2024. Guess who's not in a better mental place, and guess who can't stop thinking about Parable of the Sower.

Crazy thing is, I've been thinking of it in a completely different way than I did back then. I'm honestly really grateful I read what I did, when I did. Octavia Butler was a brave and incredible woman and writer. Braver than me, for being able to sit on those complex horrific feelings and parse them down into something swallowable.

I love that scene between the protagonist and her father. I've tossed it around in my head a lot, I think about "pointing at the void" and the debate of whether that's something we should do, or not do.

I think that's something a lot of people can relate to now. It's tempting to talk about how bad things are-- but does that unite us? However, does pointing NEXT to the void really actually solve the problem?

The wall still falls, regardless. Change is coming.

I'm not looking to point at the void or point next to the void right now. Right now, I just want to be exactly where I'm at, and I'm amazed to find that what I read of Parable of the Sower gives me hope now too.

Another core theme of the book is the agony and strength that comes with being an empathetic person in destructive times.

The protagonist ends up making her own religion, Earthseed. She argues that God is Change, and we shape God. God is not kind. Change is not kind. It's partially out of our reach, but we do shape it and it is our responsibility to shape it for the better.

We decide how we act on a microlevel with each other and that means everything.

We are not living the worst of Parable of the Sower right now. The world hasn't entirely turned toward violence, yet. This is a terrifying, terrifying time, and I don't know what's going to happen.

We are not powerless though. We shape God, we shape Change, even as it shapes us.

Parable of the Sower is a book about surviving. It's a book about sitting in the discomfort and agony of being an empathetic person and continuing to fight to be kind, even when things are at their absolute worst.

We can't give into nihilism, but we can't just look away from the void either. The wall is falling. The wall has fallen. Things are bad right now, and we all just need to sit in it, and offer a hand to each other at every chance we get.

If there's one thing survival stories have taught me it's no matter how bad things get-- people can never truly get ground to dust.

The human will is an incredible thing, and when everything goes horribly, I think that's when the most basic interaction of "you are a human being and I see you, and I believe your worth" becomes the most important hope in the world to maintain. Even in the darkest most horrible corners of human history-- there is hope as long as there is kindness between people.

We need to learn to sit in discomfort, stare at the hurt and the violence and the hope and not put it down, even when we want to.

There is no third book in this series-- but we decide what it looks like.

-

“That’s all anybody can do right now. Live. Hold out. Survive. I don’t know whether good times are coming back again. But I know that won’t matter if we don’t survive these times.”

"All that you touch You Change. All that you Change Changes you. The only lasting truth Is Change.”

“The world is full of painful stories. Sometimes it seems as though there aren't any other kind and yet I found myself thinking how beautiful that glint of water was through the trees.”

[malcolm-reeds-pineapple]

@frostysfrenzy made the audience inside my head very happy by tagging me in this anyway picture me like this for the duration of this post (I am miss piggy)

Writer interview ✨💖

About me

When did you start writing?

I was was 10 and a deranged little girl so my best friend and I cowrote what I considered to be the most ambitious crossover of all time: a Star Wars/The Beatles/Bleach/Monk/WKRP/The Partridge Family/Corner Gas fanfiction trilogy. It was utterly bananas and at the time of writing we considered it to be our magnum opus. It wasn’t and I believe we destroyed all but one of the “books” when we were about 12 when she visited. I know that one still exists cuz I have it and my brother and I read it when we need a laugh.

Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?

I almost exclusively read nonfiction. I’d love to do that, but I don’t have the attention span. That being said, I am working on a collection of memoirs from my particularly wild youth.

Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often?

I try to be my own person, but my dad tells me my voice is similar to Hunter S Thompson at times in my personal pieces. I can see it.

can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

Currently it’s my bed and my phone/laptop, but I prefer sitting at a desk with a notebook nearby for quick notes. I’ve tried to digitize the secondary note paper, but I’m so boomer pilled apparently that I want to have the physical paper beside me just because I like the flexibility of being able to sketch out mind maps and timelines for lore.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Watch a show and pick a guy to obsess over for til college

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about?

Yeah absolutely! I’ve lived in a lot of places and been in a lot of circumstances, so that definitely bleeds into my work. I tend to write what I know, so it’s not uncommon for me to base characters, scenes or scenarios on real people, places and scenarios I’ve encountered.

Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?

Yes and yes lmao my recurring themes I find are found family, loneliness, and the moral grey areas in crime and punishment. When I first noticed these recurring themes, I was definitely surprised, but in a way, noticing these themes has really made me learn a lot about myself and how much of my past truly looms over me. Then again, now that I’ve recognised this about myself, I find that I’m able to process everything better.

Characters

would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

His name is Nathan, he is a sad, scrungly wet cat of a man found behind a dumpster that has been surviving off of scraps and spite for many years. He’s unlikeable, constantly feeling sorry for himself, peaked in high school and has very few redeeming qualities. My favourite thing to do with him is put him in mental agony, physical peril and moral conundrums. He’s a cop who, through his own foolishness, hates his life and self destructs. He is constantly taking his problems out on his coworkers because he has no real friends and has cut most of his contact with his family. However, he goes through a lot of character development where his morals are being constantly called into question and he discovers the power of friendship and not being unbelievably fucking unpleasant. I hate him so so much that I love writing him.

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

Definitely Scout and Dan considering I based them entirely on myself and my brother. I literally wrote them in so my brother would listen to me talk about my writing and he won’t do that unless he’s in it. Their full names are Scout Trouble MacKenzie and Atticus Danger MacKenzie and they’re fully aware of how bizarre those names are. Dan goes by Dan because he likes watching the light fade from people’s eyes when he says Dan isn’t short for Daniel and is in fact short for Danger. They’re chaotic gremlins who are considered to be not well socialized and developmentally arrested at 16. Both of them are noted by other characters to be staggeringly bizarre and incomprehensible as they communicate entirely with inside jokes and meme references. They bicker like small children, especially when the topic of their old GameCube is brought up as the ownership of Monkey Ball is still a point of contention as one of them received it for Christmas in 2004, but they can’t remember which one was the actual recipient.

which characters would you dislike the most of you met them?

Josh, easily. My man is unemployed, stinky, and refuses to mature beyond an edgy teen. He doesn’t even do his own laundry. His vibes are so pungent that he makes my crops wither and causes the foxes to eat my chickens. I hate him. He really is the Josh of all time. Close second would be Kaylee but that’s just because she would stress me out too much.

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters?

It depends on the day. Most of the time it’s utility driven, so as an example, for one of my WIPs I needed a librarian character, so, as I often do for background characters, I kind of just thought of the librarians I’ve known all my life, culminated them into one character and called it a day. Then, phase two was me ending up really liking the character and developing her more as I wrote her. Eventually it got to a point where I gave her a husband and a son and she’s now a recurring character. Effectively I am both the DM and the Party and every time I make up a detail about a background character, I end up really liking them and it snowballs. I have, on a few occasions, sat down with the express intention of making a character, and sometimes it works, but if you ask me details about both Theodore (carefully crafted over a few days) and Freddie The Information Guy (Background character I developed by accident), I’d be able to tell you a lot more about Freddie.

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?

Again, going back to writing what I know, I always end up writing AFAB characters as being extremely tight with their dad’s. I don’t know, man, aside from that, the poor fuckers all just get a delightful little spoonful of my personal trauma as a treat.

How do you picture your characters?

As little dolls that I pick up and play with. They are my littlest pet shops and I am a 7 year old girl who wants to watch the world burn.

My writing:

what’s your reason for writing?

I have to write otherwise the characters just spin around my head like that fish in the funky town (low quality) video. I need to get them out of their enclosure and onto the page so I can know peace. On a more serious note, I write a lot as a way to process my thoughts. I’m a journal girly which I started doing when I was in the throes of alcoholism with undiagnosed BPD and ADHD. Whenever something bad happened, my gut reaction was to buy a bottle of bourbon and drink it like it was a race. Once I started journaling, I was able to replace that instinct of needing to drink with needing to write. Nowadays, I’m on occasional drinker and constant writer which I’m very proud of.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating?

Any and all for the most part. I’m always a fan of people liking The Characters and telling me that, but I acknowledge that no one cares as much about your OCs as you do, so I’m content with it being an uncommon but very welcome compliment.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Isolated and weird, the type to fly a kite in the middle of the night, too bizarre to be welcome in polite society so I live in a farmhouse of the edge of nowhere and Exist. Hopefully they think of me as the personification of those unhinged author’s notes in fics.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Probably dialogue? I dunno, it’s definitely not the plot, because my characters are all just on side quests, if there’s a unifying plot than it’s accidental.

What have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others?

Character development/creation and dialogue.

How do you feel about your own writing?

Illegible garbâge that is so self-indulgent and convoluted that it should not be perceived by anyone but me. However, that does not stop me from burdening my friends and readers with it. Their enjoyment of my writing is collateral damage of my creativity.

If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?

Yes, I’d be even more nuts if I didn’t write. Besides, I really am my own target demographic, so hell yeah.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?

I write for myself so hardcore that I’m surprised when other people like any part of it. As previously mentioned, if other people like what I write, that is incidental and not part of my grander mission of making things that make me happy. That being said, I do consider one opinion sometimes when I write, and that is the opinion of my brother and what will make him laugh.

Anyway, I’m gonna tag @swaggysagiewagie @sarcasticsciencefictionwriter @prismatica-the-strange and anyone who wants to do it hehehe also no pressure to do it

Blank version can be found at the bottom of the linked post :)

[casualhedonists]

i'm the one that asked u about ur favourite movies and i am so delighted to know you're a movie buff! you can tell with how lovingly you describe them and you have EPIC taste truly!!! are you on that movie app/site letterboxd? if so, drop the user RN bestie (if not, GET ON IT RN BESTIE)

ima slip in a couple recommendations rq (hopefully you've seen, but if you haven't, i reckon you might like) such as

'tick, tick... BOOM!' directed by Lin-Manuel Miranda (musical-biopic, Jonathan Larson, lots of catchy songs in it)

'Babylon' directed by Damien Chazelle (controversial, love letter to cinema, massive shit on Hollywood, beautifully made and incredible score)

'bones and all' directed by Luca Guadagnino (cannibal romance, outcasts, stoic and freaky movie)

the 'Before' trilogy directed by Richard Linklater (young ethan hawke, romance, beautiful beautiful score, essentially observing two people fall in love and talk for an hour and a half or something, incredible trilogy - my personal favourite is 'before sunset')

'When Harry Met Sally...' directed by Rob Reiner (classic rom-com, friends to lovers, unbelievably charming. i mean i would be surprised if you havent seen this one especially but just incase lmao)

'Sanctuary' directed by Zachary Wigon (dominatrix, freaky and sexy, cute score, interesting and really well made. not anything INCREDIBLE but definitely worth the look)

ANYWAYS sorry for taking up a lot of space in your inbox, would love to read some of ur thoughts on these, or just generally would love to see you post more about cinema if you're down!

i hope you're well and taking care of yourself! sending so so much love from (likely) across the world <3333

you’re the cutest nonnie hope you know that <3333

(i’m not on letterboxd a travesty i KNOW) i rlly do need to get around to that at some point bc wow

also!! you have incredible taste, these recs are 11/10

oh my god i fucking LOVE tick tick boom. like. i waited for months for it to come out and watched it w my family the day it came out and they all watched me ugly cry the whole time. it was such a moment in time. honestly i was so nervous i wouldn’t like it bc of how much i adore rent but lin manuel miranda was the only person id trust to do jonathan larson’s story justice and BOY did he exceed expectations. if we’re talking musical biopics, god i LOVED rocketman and bohemian rhapsody when they came out. that was such a good year for movies.

i also adore when harry met sally. god i just. romcoms. yknow?? strangely though despite my film buff status i didn’t watch it until like a year ago, it had been on my list for ages and def did not disappoint. i love the classic romcoms too, pretty woman, notting hill, love actually (did i mention the holiday in my original post?? pls tell me i did i could write essays abt that movie) like i shit you not i have a full spotify playlist with movie scores and i constantly say im like miles (jack black’s character) from the holiday bc he’s a composer and score buff (im only the latter lmao but still)

i’ve been wanting to watch babylon for the LONGEST time now you e def given me an excuse to get around to it!! and my friend has told me about bones and all saying it’s incredible (she and i have like this cannibalism inside joke it’s hard to explain without sounding weird lmaoo) and it’s also on the list!! and the before trilogy sounds right up my alley and i’m v curious to check out sanctuary also!!

i’m trying to think of other movies to suggest hmmm it depends on your tastes like my top five are def inspiring/heart wrenching but also comfort romance/ romcoms but i love all diff types of movies. like space movies as a category, the martian and interstellar as my top two for example. (also basically anything w jessica chastain in it i will watch bc im in love w her) and okay i also love the classics like the truman show, dead poets society, also horror movies too like the original scream is def my favorite horror film bc its hilarious, and i also (not in a toxic film bro way) rlly do like tarantino. like. inglorious basterds my beloved and also reservoir dogs, so good.

okay i think i’ve talked way too much abt movies for one post im wrapping it up now!! hope you’re well nonnie and sending tons of love back <333

[memento-morri-writes]

new WIP dropped??????please tell me

e v e r y t h i n g

also narrated by a Raven???? I'm so :ooo

have a good day/ night!

(@ink-fireplace-coffee)

hehehe, it's the one I mentioned a little while ago, somewhere on my blog as "high fantasy wip". I described the vibes as "Six of Crows mixed with a DnD campaign."

The problem is that I have no plot, other than that first little inciting incident that I mentioned. And I don't really have the other characters solidified yet either. This WIP is really me just trying to come up with my ideal book based on my current interests, lmao. So maybe my interests will change before I ever finish it, but idk. I just think we need more found family fantasy stories, and as of right now, most of the found family stuff I've read has been YA centered. Which is fine, but adults deserve some too, right??

(a lot of this is going to be repeated from this ask I answered for @rose-bookblood, but I'm going to add a lot more too.)

Anyways, I'll try and tell you some more! I'll list the character ideas I have right now:

Avidra (Avi): they/them, elf of some sort, former assassin, like 127 years old. (but their species isn't considered "adult" until they're 100 years old.)

Asra: she/her, human, in her 20's, talented thief.

Brynn: she/her, trans, human, late 20's or early 30's, former pit fighter??

Orion: he/him. Not-quite-human sorcerer with a talent for fire. Going through his gifted kid burnout arc.

Healer/nature mage who thinks they have to save everyone, and haunted by the one time they couldn't. (pronouns tba)

A warlock who made a deal with an entity years ago and is now terrified of being possessed by said entity.

(by the way, you should know that there are absolutely zero cishet characters in this story. everyone is queer somehow.)

Those last two characters I'm not settled on, but they're character concepts I love a lot, so we'll see what happens.

As for the raven narrator, uh, yeah. He works for the Raven Queen, who is this world's goddess of death. He's meant to collect people's souls when they die. He starts following the group after the death that happens on the first fucking page (here) and gets invested. In a weird way, he does care about the group, but also, he's an immortal collector of souls. He has a very matter-of-fact approach to death and such, and his way of "caring" or being interested doesn't necessarily mean he hopes they don't die. He just wants to see what they do before they die.

His narration is going to have footnotes, which are like his little comments or interjections. (these are in first person) I have a deep love for the use of footnotes in storytelling.

So, um, picture him as like, Death from The Book Thief mixed a bit with the narrator from The Nevernight Chronicles. Though in my mind, the best use of footnotes will always be The Bartimaeus Trilogy, which I highly recommend to anyone who hasn't read it! But also, throw in the 3rd omniscient-ness of Lemony Snicket in A Series of Unfortunate Events.

And I got this idea from falling head first into a hyper fixation with Critical Role. So, ummm.... this is going to be a wild ride. But if I can pull it off (or at the very least come up with a plot and develop the characters), I will be very, very happy and proud of myself.

Anyways, that's really everything I know about this story. Thanks for asking about it, Carmen!!! <33

[amyisherenowitsokay]

Hey.

I just found you again after reading some stuff by you from... 7? 8 years ago? God I'm old. I'm in my 20s.

Anyway, I have no real balls to message you, just throwing out an anon ask to tell you this new IZ shit? The rewriting? The Stoltz stuff?

Super fucking cool.

I might not be, but you are. My friend and I were talking about old fanfics we used to read, and she told me you're rewriting one of my favorites (on Ao3 even. Great choice, really), and that you're on tumblr (questionable).

You're writing has definitely improved, though I would love to see more art from you in the future! Hope you're doing well!

Hi anon, I've been keeping this in my inbox where I can look at it and get the warm cozies just by going to my inbox instead of scrolling around my blog, but then I realized I also want to make sure you knew how much I appreciated this comment <3

I put a lot of effort into all my art, edits, and writing, and it's nice to get these messages that show other people are appreciating it.

The decision to start migrating to ao3 was sort of something I was forced into, since the websites moderation is now nonexistent. Initially, as someone technologically inept, it was a confusing swap but I'm definitely preferring it now. The tag system lets me do way more thorough content warnings. I like to give people room and heads up to only engage in content they feel they can handle, and it's been nice to have more tools to do so instead of just putting a bolded A/N at the beginning of the chapter and hoping for the best. LMAO at the "questionable."

I definitely have more projects in the works, and more rewrites are on the way. I fully plan on doing the full trilogy to its rewritten completion, so if you enjoyed the first one, there are little teasers for the second (and a few for the third) scattered around on my blog. I think the tag would be under amyisherenowansweringyou

Also you are NOT only because if YOU are old then I am probably old, as I am 26 now, and just because all my joints ache and the winter brings in my old injury aches and my blood doesn't circulate like it used to and

No I tease anon, we're legacy, we're not old, dw

[quietwingsinthesky]

Pssst! I sent an ask about this a while back, and I'm not sure if you haven't gotten to it, or the ask got eaten. If you haven't gotten to it, I'm sorry for the repeat ask and I understand, take your time :) But in case it got eaten, I'm curious: what are your fave parts of the star wars franchise? Like, which movie, characters, ships, etc?

alsofjfkfk im not gonna lie, anon, i saw it and went ‘oh cool i’ll answer that in a minute’ and the second i closed my inbox, my lack of object permanence kicked in and i forgot it existed. and then i repeated that process. many, many times.

but i will not allow it to happen again. we’re answering this now, damnit.

okay, see, the thing about me is i am an extremely basic star wars bitch. i have seen all of the movies. i have not read any books or comics. my friend in high school made me watch 1 episode of the mandalorian, and i went ‘haha cool! baby yoda!’ and then never watched more of it. (the fact that i don’t have disney+ contributed to this, but really, if i had tried, i’m sure i could have made do. i did not try.) i tried very very hard at one point to get into the clone wars show, and i remember only that there was some sort of small jabba the hutt and yoda telling some clones that their lives were meaningful in the force or something, so i have no idea how far i made it but probably not very. i have played exactly one game, jedi: fallen order, which my playstation tells me i 100%, but for the life of me, i can’t remember a single thing about it other than ‘robot buddy cute’ and ‘fun 👍’, which either is my incredibly small brain showing off its inability to store information or really doesn’t bode well for the quality of whatever story was in there lmao.

BUT. i love the movies. i’m a stupid sucker for the joy and hope of the original trilogy. i think the prequels are so fun and people are mean to them for no reason, like yes, they’re a mess, but you know how sometimes you look at a product and go ‘oh this is so corporate and soulless that nothing about it is worth seeing with my eyeballs?’ the prequels are not that. people cared about making these movies, and i can always be charmed when i can tell that there was love there, even if it didn’t work as perfectly as it wanted to.

which is probably why i’m so fond of the force awakens despite it all, because watching it feels like everyone there cared so so much about the new potential star wars. i remember watching behind-the-scenes when it first came out and seeing them talk about how they mixed practical and cgi effects for a bunch of the aliens, and i fell in love with finn because his character was basically catnip for me. my traumatized cat who was abducted and brainwashed and raised a soldier and still his heart was too big to be destroyed by the first order. poe was fun for the little screentime he had, and rey was aloof and fierce and hurt underneath it all, and kylo ren had so much fucking potential as the villain and foil for rey & finn that it actually causes me physical pain knowing what happened next. and han was there! until he died! i was heartbroken about it! it was a well-executed death! leia was there, and i could never shake the tragedy that this war she’d fought so hard to win in her youth had never really ended, that now she had to fight it alone again when luke left and han ran away. luke was not there, but this was pre-the last jedi, so i could actually be excited about what he might do when he showed up! the force awakens is a good movie.

the last jedi is a very pretty movie. the rise of skywalker feels like what everyone thinks the prequels are like. i do not watch those movies. i just mentally replace them with the utterly fantastic fic have you heard by peradi and pretend that we did get a stormtrooper rebellion <3 (if you haven’t read it, you should.)

what else, what else. i am incredibly boring when it comes to favorite characters in each trilogy, it’s just The Main Guy. i already talked about finn, but. anakin and luke. my little dudes. anakin has everything ever wrong with him, and i do not blame him for going of the rails. i mean, he did kill a lot of children and help install space facism but have we considered that the jedi were mean to him. and also that palpatine’s been grooming him since he was nine. and also that there is actual literal slavery happening in star wars and the response of everyone around him was to go ‘oh well anakin, guess u gotta let go of the fact that your mother will never be free. and if you can’t, that’s your fault.’ sorry. nope. feeling emotional about how one of the first things baby anakin asks qui-gon when they meet is if qui-gon is here to free them all, because that’s what jedi are supposed to do, they’re supposed to be heroes, and qui-gon tells him they aren’t. and then he does free anakin, and he’s got a fucking lazer sword and magic powers so who the hell would have been able to stop him from at least bringing shmi too, but instead he just takes anakin away. insane choices. george lucas im at your doorstep explain yourself.

and anyone who says they don’t love luke skywalker is a liar. u don’t like luke? luke who wants to see so much more of the universe than his little farm? luke who wants to believe in the force so strongly, his only connection to his father and soon, to obi-wan? luke who blows up the death star because he feels the force so strongly? luke who is such a shining star of hope and goodness and loyalty that han freaking solo turned around and came back to save his ass? and all that just in one movie. luke is so powerfully good, you know? and it had to be that way, the movies just wouldn’t work without him at the core of it. i love him so so much.

ships. well obviously im a c3po/r2d2 stan. as we all know, tragic love story for the ages. im a believer that r2d2 is unmemorywipeable, that trash can is too stubborn to let anything he stores be deleted, so really, we’re looking at the world’s shortest and rudest rebel spy and his overly polite amnesiac husband. im joking but im not.

taking it more seriously, i’m very easily convinced to see main character trios as poly ships. number 1 proponent of padme/anakin/obi-wan over here, a fate sealed by many good fics that i’ve read confirming this. if i may suggest one of my favorites, Queen’s Gambit by bedlamsbard, truly a fantastic star wars au work and it has an incredible podfic by reena_jenkins that inspired me to begin podficcing in the first place. following that, i also love han/leia/luke, in whatever configuration that comes, if it’s just han getting two skywalkers on his arms or if it’s luke and leia also following up on their kiss in empire strikes back. (‘i knew all along’ my ass, girl, either you didn’t or you did and you went straight for the lips alsjfjlssjkf.) From Orbit by gh0strobin is a favorite of mine for them, as well as a bed of daysided gold by lotesse.

and finally, most obviously, i was onboard with finn/poe/rey from day one of the force awakens. the reylos never got me. i was too busy thinking about the main trio kissing. (and i was a ‘rey & ben solo are cousins at least or somethjng’ truther back during force awakens, which for once, meant i had zero interest in shipping them and far more interest in using their possible backstories to explore this fascinating dynamic they had vis a vis the legacy and/or lack of one they inherited, what they were owed as children of legends. and well. i mean, i was kind of right by the end but by god i wish i wasn’t!!!) (and terrible news, i’m realizing that the majority of my post-force awakens reading on ao3 happened before i was bookmarking fics, so i don’t even have recs!!! >:( i need to rectify this immediately. but know that there are many fantastic fics for that trio and you should go looking for them.)

okay, one last round of fic reccing and i’ll leave it be, but there’s some great ones I’d be remiss not to mention. Double Agent Vader is a brilliant Vader character exploration series and it will hurt you and make u love him so so much. The Fires is a Mustafar groundhog day loop that Hurts (and fun fact, was the second fic i ever podficced for myself :( but the files are long gone. still have my first ever podfic though.) And The Force Breathes Once Again is a short and interesting fic about the force being Weird And Fucked Up. And Intertwine is a Padme Lives AU that’s just lovely. so many brilliant fics in this fandom, i swear.

[oldmanatom]

tagging update/new fandom

as a heads up, i just finished Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth and am DYING to reblog stuff about it, so that’s going to be showing up in my queue more often for the next while. (as usual with posts like these, it won’t be an uninterrupted stream—i did my best to spread them between my normal queued posts. also, my queue only posts 5x/day, so you may just not see it at all. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

the new tags:

the Locked Tomb trilogy as a whole (all posts will be tagged with this): one flesh one end

Gideon the Ninth: we do bones motherfucker

Harrow the Ninth: if aught but death part me and thee

[Alecto will be added once i’ve read it and have a good quote lmao]

any posts with significant spoilery elements: gtn spoilers (for Gideon), htn spoilers (for Harrow), atn spoilers (for Alecto)

some of what i’ll be reblogging is spoilery, so i’d recommend blacklisting these tags if you haven’t read it and intend to, because imo the surprises and twists are kind of integral to the story. or, at least, they’re big and good enough to be worth experiencing first hand versus being spoiled.

if you’re wondering whether or not you’d like to read this, my answer is: yes. (unless “vaguely grody”-to-“just plain grody” body horror/injuries/gore and suicide are absolute no goes, in which case maybe not; the first one is a persistent thing, the second one less so, but both are present.) i think the writing is excellent—i found the prose in particular to be a masterclass in the subject, personally—everyone is gay, and the plot is...fucking wild. felt like i’d been picked up by the ankles and swung around like a morningstar by the time i finished Harrow.

if you’re on the fence, the first 8 chapters of Gideon are posted for free on the publisher’s website, which i think will give you a very good idea of the tone and voice of the book. (that link goes to the first two chapters; the links to the others are at the top of the page.) if you like the writing but find it to be a slow start, things pick up once they get to Canaan House—chapter 7—and will accelerate to a whiplash sort of speed, rest assured.

also: if you read Gideon and want to come back and yell at me because of the ending, i will understand, and probably also ask you to read Harrow and then see if you still want to yell at me about the same thing(s).

if you have any questions about the trilogy, please, hit me up and i’ll do my best to answer them! and if you’ve already read these books, definitely hit me up, because i have A Lot Of Feelings and Very Many Questions/Theories.

[books-and-cookies]

August 2022 Reads

listen, as long as it’s not october yet, i’m on time with this post, shut up

also, me @ myself: literally no one cares when/if you post this shut uppppp

january 2022 post february 2022 post march 2022 post april 2022 post may 2022 post june 2022 post july 2022 post

anyway, i read a bunch of shit in august:

* I Must Betray You by Ruta Sepetys - i technically read this in july, but forgot to post about it, moving alonggggg. eflrhglsghlSgh this was genuinely so good to read, because it’s set in MY country, like whaaaat. i’ll never get over the fact that someone actually paid attention to us, let alone an author of Ruta’s caliber. It’s set at the end of the communist period in Romania and idk man, it means a lot to me that this book got written - 5/5 stars

* The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware - decent thriller, one of my favourite of Ruth’s, whose books I have a love/hate relationship with; i really loved the twist (far fetched as it was lmao) - 4/5 stars

* Rock Paper Scissors by Alice Feeney - this was such an unexpected GREAT surprise - I picked this on a whim at the bookstore and it turned out to be amazing, i had a blast reading it and it had one of the best executed plot twists i’ve read in A LONG TIME - 5/5 stars

* The Girls Are All So Nice Here by Laurie Elizabeth Flynn - great story and portrayal of a toxic friendship, this was a wild ride. It takes mean girls to a whole different level, unlikable characters all around and just... damn - 4/5 stars

* The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson - so funny and insightful, i had a great time reading this, i literally laughed out loud several times, something you don't expect to do when reading a book about how psychopathy is diagnosed and how the tools for diagnosing psychopathy can lead to false assumptions, misdiagnosing and over-diagnosing (something that i'm absolutely certain is happening more and more); i definitely wholeheartedly recommend this - 4/5 stars

* Immunity by Erin Bowman (book 2 of the Contagion duology) - while not as great and as strong as the first book, it was still a fun, quick read, with great characters and plot, and still one of the best scifi duologies i’ve read - 4/5 stars

* Vanishing Girls by Lauren Oliver (reread) - goodreads was telling me i read this book 2 years ago, but i had forgotten absolutely everything, but the plot twist lmao, so it was like reading a brand new book. I know a lot of people don’t like Lauren’s books, but I absolutely adore her writing and this was no exception - 4/5 stars

* Good Me, Bad Me by Ali Land (reread) - i forgot how fucked up this book was, not because of the plot or the twists, but because it’s an outstanding character exploration novel. be mindful of triggers, though, it’s A Lot - 4/5 stars

* The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang (reread) - I want to finally finish this trilogy, so I reread book one and i genuinely forgot how descriptive the depictions of war and genocide were :) like :) no :) that aside, what an amazing fantasy, just... absolutely stunning, more people should be reading this - 5/5 stars

so there you have it, i Read Things in august

september is back to nonfiction yassssssss so it’ll be a lot of me flailing about going OMG THESE PEOPLE ARE INSANE HOW

also, you’re legally required to tell me if you’re reading any of these books based on these very solid explanations and recommendations

psa - i’m cold, so if you like my remarkably chaotic posts, you can buy me a coffee

[elivanto]

so.........ive been looking for a new star wars book and im thinking of starting the thrawn novels (purely bc of your thrawn posting). but the only thing i know about thrawn is from rebels and im havin a hard time convinving myself that i can get invested in a series about handsome squidward. but i figured if anyone can convince me to take the plunge it would be you<3. so in your own words.......why do u love the thrawn novels?

kinda suspicious of you nonnie (“handsome squidward”??? 😭) but i’m just gonna pretend i don’t feel like you’re making fun of me dihdjdhd ANYWAY.

thrawn novels. as in the 2017 canon trilogy, yeah?

well i can definitely tell you that i never would’ve thought in a million years i’d enjoy reading about thrawn—i knew him only from rebels, too, and i found him too scary, too calculating, too unemotional. i talked to at least two of my mutuals about sw novels and they were like ‘oh you gotta read the thrawn novels! so good!’ and i just thought ‘okay someone actually wrote a book about that guy and people enjoy it? don’t make me laugh’ and look at my dumb ass now lmao

the three things that ultimately made me start reading were 1) i, just like you, was out of sw books to read and looking for a new one, 2) the fact that there’s a couple mentions of anakin in the first book and a WHOLE anakin and a whole vader in the second, and 3) this fanart (caution: shippy & pda lmao).

convinced yet? no? okay. regarding the thrawntent content, the first novel especially deals with the recurring theme of xenophobia against thrawn as he rises through the ranks in the imperial navy. from fellow imps, government officials, uhhh his aide’s family (tiny little screech i’m not gonna bring out the big guns just yet) etc. it’s so interesting to see everything from a different perspective and how thrawn deals with it (he outsmarts everyone) and how the elite imps react to that (they hate it).

it’s also kind of hilarious that you know that the characters you read about—i’m talking about vanto, faro, hammerly etc. in particular here—are technically part of the big, bad, fascist empire but fuck if they don’t become great characters that you’d do anything for in the end.

and NOW i’m bringing out the big guns: eli vanto. i’m very biased here but, you know, you just gotta love him. he’s a tiny ball of barely restrained anger and yet he’s very polite, he’s relatable as FUCK, and thrawn sees him and thinks he’s a spy or some shit so he wants to keep an eye on him is like “i’m gonna keep this small, uncomfortable looking man with the funny accent” and they spend 10-ish years in the imperial navy together :) much to eli’s chagrin, at the beginning jfbdjdg

there’s some other stuff—arihnda pryce’s story in the first book, what REALLY happened at batonn (before thrawn was promoted to grand admiral), the whole [gestures vaguely] chiss situation, palpatine questioning thrawn’s loyalty, hilarious thrawn & vader shenanigans in which vader is always two seconds away from force-strangling thrawn etc. etc.—but i’ve really talked enough and if you’re not convinced to start reading the novels now i doubt you ever will be 😂

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

[spencstan]

Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i-

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

i-

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

NO

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I love that we as a fandom have declared the clem comic an noncanon lmao. i'm curious tho, do you believe clem will get a new love interest? do you think it will be amos or someone else?

Yeah, gotta love seeing a fandom come together to agree on something.... even though that something isn't exactly invoking happy feelings, y'know? Like yeah, the comic sucks and at this point I doubt the trilogy will be much better unless Tillie suddenly starts to understand Clementine and makes some impossibly massive improvements..... but it's nice to see all of us mostly getting along?

As for the whole love interest thing, I'm like 98% sure that Clementine's going to get a new girlfriend in the comics. That's my prediction.

During the dumb xpo thing, Tillie talked about how she's excited to explore Clementine as a queer character in the apocalypse and considering Tillie's other works, I will bet literal cash that Clementine gets a new girlfriend. I don't think Amos will be the love interest, and if he does end up being that for Clem or if Clem gets a boyfriend, then I will genuinely be shocked.

.....Y'know what, I need to get this off my chest and this seems relevant enough-

I was talking with my roommate about this the other night actually. I told her all about my predictions for Clem getting a new girlfriend and how annoying this whole comic is, but also how annoying people are being to Tillie over this and like.... everything is a mess.

My roommate, who knows that literally everything is wrong in the 12 page comic and who I told about the xpo where Tillie talked about Clem being queer is important, asked me how I would feel if she ended up getting Clementine's canon bisexuality wrong, and what if she decides to make Clementine a lesbian?

And like...... I actually stopped what I was working on because this wave of dread crashed through me at the thought of that, and I could actually imagine it happening because she already got everything else wrong and if she hasn't actually played the games and is pulling this shit out of her ass.... I can't even describe to you the feeling I felt...

I want to believe that Tillie would at least know and respect the fact that Clementine is a canon bisexual. From what I've gathered, Tillie herself is wlw and I don't believe she would erase a bisexual character. She knows that Clementine is a queer character. Clementine's bisexual.

Like obviously, if I'm right and Clementine gets a girlfriend, she'll still be bisexual. Nothing will ever change that.

But I'm going to tell all of you this right now because just thinking about it upsets me.... if for whatever reason, if Tillie Walden actually erases Clementine's bisexuality and makes her a lesbian in the graphic novel trilogy while "exploring what it means to be queer in the apocalypse," I'm done.

I will have nothing left for Tillie. I will no longer support anything she does. I won't condone harassment towards her because that makes you just as shitty, but I will absolutely call that bullshit out and then never support her again. I will never talk about the comic again because how dare you think you can get away with that and still expect me to waste brain cells on your comic? Hell, I will probably be so fucking livid that I'll drive my ass all the way to barnes and noble just to return the books I bought of hers.

Dramatic? Yeah, but y'know what? I've never really touched on this outside of a few "Clem being bisexual is important representation and we love it" but her being bisexual means so much to me. It truly does, I mean.... after the dumb "btw Javi is bi, we just wrote him straight and threw in a line of flirty dialogue with jesus so we can have our cake and eat it, too-- the straight homophobes will still buy our game and the lgbt+ community will love us, win win," I cannot explain the joy I felt when Clementine was written as a bisexual woman and that she was given two love interests that meant so much to the players.

Like.... I dunno, I never got any real bi rep in games or books or movies, especially bi girls, when I was a teen trying to figure shit out. In jr high and high school, I could never find stories that has bi women as a lead because I was too afraid to look anything up. I didn't wanna be caught reading/watching things that were lgbt+ because I had a shitty boyfriend at the time and our friend group were heavily religious and judgmental. My best friend [who I haven't spoken to for years now] was one of those people who claimed to support lgbt+ people.... but also once told me that she thought lesbians were okay but gay men were lowkey gross and probably only into other dudes because girls wouldn't date them. Oh, and I'll never forget the time she told me that bi people don't actually exist because you either like one or the other.

That's a great thing to here from the best friend you've know since you were an infant after you've realized that you aren't only attracted to boys.

But now I'm out of that environment and I haven't talked to anyone from high school since I graduated, and I've felt more free to intake all the things I wish I could've before...

I just.... Clementine is important to me for a lot of reasons. I've played these games forever, I've gotten to watch her grow for years, and she's just so well-written and amazing in tfs, and the fact that the writers wanted to write her as a bisexual woman means so much, I just.... even though it's not canon, I can't help but take this disaster of a comic personally. Just from those 12 pages, everything about Clementine is destroyed and it sucks. It hurts..... but I'm still not holding anything against Tillie herself. Her comic is bad, but that doesn't mean she's bad..... however, erasing Clem's bisexuality would be the last straw for me.

.....This turned into a rant. Sorry about that. You asked a simple question and I dumped my life story on you but I dunno, I needed to get that off my chest because it's been bothering the back of my mind.

I do wanna add once more that I don't think Tillie's actually going to do that... she should know that both Louis and Violet are canon love interests, plus Clementine canonically had a crush on Gabe in ANF. I think if she's going to get anything right, it'll be the fact that Clem is bi.... I'm just expressing a major fear I have and what it would do to me, and others, if it happened..... y'know?

[midethefangirl]

Captain America: Civil War - My Thoughts

I know this is like 5 years late but for this, I’d like to resurrect a barely dead discourse that succeeded in not just dividing the Avengers but also dividing the fandom. Before we start, content warning for spoilers and let’s dive into this mess.

So, basically, the entire conflict of civil war stemmed from General Thaddeus Ross (who is a hypocritical dick, btw) coming to lecture the Avengers on being destructive despite conducting destructive experiments (ahem, the Abomination and the Hulk) but I digress. Then, Ross presents the Sokovian Accords which is really lengthy and we see Steve reading like a few chapters(?). Now, let us note that the Accords were presented to the Avengers after a mission-gone-wrong killed about 11 people in Lagos (lay-gos, not lah-gos that pronunciation gave me headaches as a Nigerian).

So, the Sokovian Accords were written by 117 countries and vetted by the UN asking for the Avengers to be under oversight (which SHIELD would have done if HYDRA hadn’t infiltrated it in the first place but it is what it is). Somehow, Steve made it about “our right to choose” (how?! Cause I’m not understanding) and decided to not sign*.

*he later got back to sign, then backed out when he learnt that Tony had placed Wanda under house arrest (even though it was for her protection. I do believe Tony should have fully informed Wanda about keeping her in the Avengers’ Tower)

My issues with the plot of Civil War are:

1. The Sokovian Accords were not read out loud or placed on some kind of PowerPoint slide for the audience to understand why Team Cap is against the Accords. No, the fandom wiki is not a source because that one is from Agents of SHIELD and not a lot of MCU fans are familiar with that show (yours sincerely included). Assuming the contents were read out loud or discussed by the Avengers, I’d have understood why Team Cap refused to sign the accords but since none of that was given, I’d remain Team Iron Man for this one.

2. The Sokovian Accords is not the American Constitution. Then again, the MCU fandom tends to be American-centric and most Americans seem to have this belief that the world revolves around them (and it manifests itself in Civil War discourse).

3. Contrary to popular opinion, the Sokovian Accords were about 117 (mostly third-world) countries asserting their sovereignty and boundaries, not taking away rights from the Avengers. If we go by what the MCU wiki claims about the accords, yes, some parts are absurd (like asking for blood samples and using trackers, why are those necessary?). However, when 117 countries state that they want you to respect their boundaries, I think it is best to comply. Unfortunately, respecting boundaries is one thing the USA has a problem complying with and guess who happens to represent America?

4. The Accords affected only their hero lives, not their lives as a civilian. I doubt the UN would limit the Avengers’ movements as civilians

5. Let us not forget how Steve and Clint protect Wanda from accountability and responsibility. Wanda in the MCU is like y/n in many fanfics where everyone (except for the “big bad villain” who in this case is Tony and 117 countries) seems to love her and want to protect her from facing the consequences of her actions. Anyone *ahem Tony* who has a bit of problem with her is suddenly the enemy. Not to mention how Wanda seems to have a knack for causing destruction in African countries (Johannesburg, Lagos, Wakanda)

6. And fandom behaviour from the Team Cap stans

7. Also, why is Civil War not an Avengers part 3? It’s better than making it a Captain America trilogy and then trying to frame Steve as being right.

8. I do believe that the accords were sped up which left little time for the Avengers to discuss and compromise on certain issues. If they were given more time to discuss, compromise and negotiate, I think the movie would have ended better than it had.

9. In addition, I also agree with Team Cap stans on how the UN arbitrarily deciding to shoot Bucky on sight is a human right violation.

10. “The safest hands are our own” why does this sound like a white saviour talk point from Steve? The accords is about 117 countries wanting you to respect their boundaries and the best you can come up with to refute that is saying something a white saviour would say?

11. “Even if the whole world is telling you to move...” just shut the fuck up, this is no way comparable to 117 countries trying to assert their sovereignty.

12. Look if I have to choose between surrendering a few rights as a hero and just dismissing that of civilians as potential damage, I’d go with the former because the people whom I’m suppose to protect come first. For me to dismiss their deaths as “we can’t save em all” is just not it.

13. “She’s just a kid”, a few years later and I still hate that term. One, it’s infantilizing an adult white woman (something white men have historically done and we all know how that went) . Two, while Tony was obviously wrong for not informing Wanda about her house arrest, he was right to keep her in the Tower when they were people who would harm her with every chance they could find. **

** after watching WandaVision, some people might find every reason to want to harm her.

14. Let us also discuss the motivation of those in Team Iron Man vs Team Cap

Team Iron Man

Tony: feels guilty for the events of Age of Ultron, believes that he’s stepped out of line and the Avengers need oversight.

Natasha: believes that the Avengers should listen to the public and the UN after all, if they had one hand on the wheel, they can still steer.

Vision: believes that the Avengers as a whole bring challenge which brings conflict and then catastrophe.

Rhodey: a soldier; believes in following orders especially when it is from the UN and 117 countries.

T’Challa: dude is just there to kill Bucky. I’m sure if Bucky was on team Ironman, my guy would have joined team cap, lmao 😂.

Spider-Man: not really there for a reason except to bring in Steve to Ross. I do agree that Tony shouldn’t have dragged him to the fight without Peter making an informed decision.

Team Cap

Steve: didn’t want to sign because it takes away his “right to choose”. Idk what that means or how it is relevant to the Sokovian Accords but okay. However, I understand his mistrust considering a few movies ago, we found out HYDRA had infiltrated SHIELD and as much as I believe governments are corrupt and the UN is shit, you cannot just enter a country anyhow without warning ahead of time.

Bucky: was his motivation given? I mean, I believe he joined Steve’s side to stop Zeno from unleashing the other winter soldiers. Not that that’s a bad reason, it isn’t.

Sam: again, I don’t think the movie gave us a reason for him being against the Accords. Did he also believe it was taking away his “right to choose”?

Wanda: undecided as of moment of discussion. Joined team cap because Tony placed her on house arrest. While I agree that Tony should have informed her that he was putting her under house arrest and stated the reasons why, I believe it was for good reasons especially when some people might decide to carry out witch hunts (you get it, witch hunts? 😅)

Clint: only joined because Wanda was placed under house arrest. We aren’t given any reason why he would oppose the Accords.

Scott: fan boy of Captain America, need I say more?

15. Also, to Team Cap stans blaming Tony Stark for Team Cap being imprisoned, grow the fuck up. The people in Team Cap are all adults who made their own decisions yet Tony is to blame for them breaking the law (because they did break the law), wtf.

16. “Are you capable of letting go of your ego for one damn second?” Like Steve’s ego didn’t play a part in all this too, lmao.

17. Okay, the final battle was intense and while I believe Bucky was also a victim, I can understand why Tony lashed out at him. The one to blame here is Steve because even if he had no clue Bucky was responsible for the Starks’ death, he still lied to Tony by not telling him who was responsible. It is more appalling to learn that Steve, in an attempt to “protect Tony and Bucky”, was actually covering for HYDRA!

Also, the way Steve stood emotionless while Tony watched a footage of his parents being killed. Yet, he could shield Wanda from watching the news because of how it affected her, okay.

“I can do this all day”, fuck you, Steve

18. Clint exploding at Tony is so fucking hilarious. Tony is right, Clint has a family yet he decided to fight in a war that didn’t concern him. Also, his comments about breaking backs is so tone deaf after Rhodey just broke his back!

19. If Sam was Captain America, I think Civil War wouldn’t have happened at all, from the dialogue in the Raft.

20. Overall, this movie is a fucking mess and I hate it for dividing both the Avengers and MCU fans.

Before I close with this, I want to add that I am not anti-Steve but Civil War really made me hate him. I get, Steve is supposed to be a Boy Scout and shit like that, but he’s a Gary Stu in the MCU, let’s be honest about it. Civil War should have been an Avengers movie, rather than a part of the Captain America trilogy. The Avengers should have been given more time than three days to discuss the Accords and make necessary amendments; after all that went down in Lagos, Wanda should have been made to sit out missions and maybe we could have had someone like Doctor Strange help in training her; Crossbones would have made a great villain but it is what it is; Peter’s introduction to the MCU could have been as him actually interning for the Stark Industries and forming a kind of acquaintance with Tony Stark before Tony finds out that he’s Spider-Man; Steve should have told Tony about HYDRA‘s hands in his parents’ deaths. Anyway, I’ll go read Civil War fix-it fanfics and fanfics where the Avengers are more like family. Fuck Civil War and I’m outta here.

Edit: okay this was a thought I had when I was trying to sleep but it was too good to ignore. Rhodey has a point about Steve arrogance (if that’s the correct term) in saying “the safest hands are our own” and here’s why:

Like he stated “this is not the World Security Council...neither is this SHIELD nor HYDRA” (paraphrased). This is the UN as well as 117 countries. Look, I am as anti-government as one can go and I don’t believe that the UN are reliable (plus, if we really want to go by the AoS version of the Accords, the Accords are flawed and they need amendments), however, given the US records on disrespecting boundaries in many third world countries, I can understand why 117 countries are wary about a bunch of superpowered Americans entering their country.

To us, the Avengers are saving the world. To these 117 countries and the people who have families who were killed in the crossfire (Zemo is a good example), the Avengers are a bunch of nuisances who leave destruction wherever they tread.

I am still neutral on the whole Accords as I don’t know exactly what it entails but for Steve to go “we are surrendering our rights to choose” (again, how is the Accords threatening the Avengers’ right to choose?) when asked to be under oversight is tone deaf.

[zeawesomebirdie]

Right? Hux is my go-to example of the mess that happened because of the back and forth between two directors because the change between ep7 and ep8, and then whatever the fuck was ep9, that was uuh... It was. Like the bar wasn't even that high but they really managed to fuck it up. Of course they weren't going to detail his comics backstory and give him 20 minutes of screen time but some vague respect for the characters y'know? The minute of screen time and then Pryde shoots him and he dies off screen, like - come ON. The mere thing where he immediately becomes a traitor when that's the last decision he would make?? I can't write to save my life and I'm terrible at characterisation but even I could tell you that's bad! Unless you want to make it canon he and Kylo had a thing to justify the change of heart, but we all know what a bunch of cowards Disney is. ANYWAY you're right he deserved so much better

Okay I have so much to say about this topic, I literally waited until this morning to answer this so I could try to get my words as clear as possible lmao. Thanks for your patience Ram, and thanks for the ask <3

Before we begin though, this is all my opinion please dont flame me lmao

I can understand that having multiple directors over the course of a trilogy will be difficult, especially in the case of the sequels, where the story and vision for the trilogy was not clearly defined at the beginning. (We've all seen the meme of that one interview with the one director who was like, paraphrased, making it up as he went along). But considering this is d*sney, one of the largest corporations in the world failing this much on a massive franchise that they decided to buy? Thats unexcusable. They clearly were not prepared for these movies, and its really unfortunate because there is a lot of good that can be said of the sequels.

Now, im sure after the prequels being what they were we shouldn't have expected too much. (I say that like the prequels aren't my favorite trilogy of the three). Im sure we're all familiar with the prequels hate, and I honestly have to say I'm not sure how much of that is deserved and how much of it is simply a fandom who had their headcanons squashed. Someone older than me, whos been around long enough to see that fallout, might have better insight. So perhaps we should have expected that the sequels would fall short of our expectations, right? Not necessarily, actually.

Im not sure about you, (or anyone reading this), but I remember finding TFA an excellent movie, as did the majority of tumblr at the time. It wasn't until the reddit bros and the more inflammatory people in fandom started to recognize the potential of the reylo ship, along with the release of TLJ that the sequels started getting shit. There was also definitely a massive shift in tone from TFA to TLJ, which you totally noticed, particularly in Hux's story arc.

Then the story started to not make sense entirely, up until we get to TRoS, where,,,,, well,,,, nothing makes sense in the context of the rest of the franchise. There was clearly a lack of cohesion, but you also nailed it with it being a disrespect of the characters and a disrespect of the franchise as a whole. Theres definitely been a push in the last 5-10 years to push out more and more mediocre movies that, as long as they hold the name "Marvel" or "Disney" or "Star Wars," will still do well. And there's definitely a point to that, ofc, considering the sequels got the SW fandom so much more interest, to the point of reylo being one of the top ships on tumblr for the last several years.

So how does this all boil down to how we analyze Armitage Hux? Well, quite frankly, the movies didn't offer enough of his story to really say anything about him. Disrepect for the character aside, there's also been a recent (as in, the last 15-20 years) push to leave "unnecessary" details out of the source material. The first example to come to mind is JK Rowling's tweeting and interviews saying that Dumbledore is gay, despite nothing in any of the books or movies saying so. That d*sney has Hux's entire backstory, of which there isn't very much, confined to the comics, shouldn't be entirely surprising.

But it also opens up issues, such as, how did this character, who we see for less than 20 minutes over over course of a 6+ hour trilogy, end up betraying the very thing he is said to have helped build? We as fans can make up theories all we like, but there is never a canon explanation beyond "Kylo Ren must lose," which, is the dumbest reason and im glad we can all agree on that. The only real logic that can come from that is that yes, he and Kylo had a failed thing, becuase this is exactly the petty shit both of them would do.

And when I say he deserved better, its not just the treatment of him being a traitor. Everything with Brendol abusing him from such a young age, to being a child soldier on Jakku, to being born into a war that should have ended with Palp's death; all of that could have made a dynamic, fascinating villain that we could have all rooted for when he betrayed the First Order. Instead we got,,, this. And its really quite pathetic, to see this character that has been slowly fleshed out since the sequels came out through the comics, with the knowledge that unless one happens to be aware of the comics they will have no idea the depths of trauma this character has been through.

Now, im just a fanfiction writer. I know nothing about movies. But I have to say, the sequels did not have anything close to a consistent characterization, especially in regards to Hux and Kylo towards the end. Again, lack of cohesion, disrespect of the characters and the franchise, etc. But it really is incredibly frustrating to know that us fans put more effort into our backstories for these characters than d*sney themselves. And we can all joke around and say we'd be better at making the movies than d*sney and George Lucas and etc, but yknow, maybe we're a little right about that.

All of this to say, im incredibly disappointed in d*sney's approach to the sequels, especially in regards to Hux, but the entire trilogy really suffered from this.