#can you tell how long this pairing has had me in a chokehold?

[velvetrambles]

I love how kind Wheatley is to Chell during the beginning of Chapter 5 - lighting jumps for her, complimenting her for safely getting to the other side. Ughhh I love him I love her I love them I’m so normal about these two they’re in love

[velvetydream]

꒰ : ☕️ [ Mercilessly ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

Summary : You're normally one who enjoys slow and romantic sex, but something deep inside changed after seeing Yunho at Coachella and on tour.

Pairing : Dom! Yunho x Fem! Sub! Reader

Word count : 2.5K Words

Genre : Smut with soft aftercare

Smut Content ➵ Size Kink (Reader is smaller than Yunho), Degradation, Dumbification, Sex Toys, Orgasm Denial, Coming multiple times, Oral (F receiving), Raw Sex (Wrap it up people), Manhandling

a/n : Yunho has me in a chokehold and istg I'll cry so hard when seeing all these hot ass man next year at baricade.

Disclaimer : This is purely fiction and in no way supposed to dispict how Yunho is in real life. Please skip and block if you don't like it.

Yunho was a sweet lover; he was always attentive to your every need. Cooking nice food, giving you a massage after a long day, cuddling you while playing games. In the sheets he was a sweet and loving man, taking care of you with soft touches and featherlight kisses. Despite loving this romantic sex, something recently switched inside of you.

Watching him at Coachella, at the tour, and all those ungodly fan cams and pictures Atiny posted over the last few weeks had you shaking. Not being able to pinpoint exactly what is bothering you, the sex was good, no question, but it left you unsatisfied, not that you didn't reach your peak, no you always did with Yunho, yet deep down, something was missing.

A sigh leaves your lips as your brain moves around ideas of what could be bothering you, not noticing Wooyoung watching you and taking a seat beside you. "What's wrong?" A little surprised, you look up; you hadn't even noticed him sit down beside you; so much in your own head right now. "O-Oh nothing! I'm fine!" It wasn't a good idea to tell Wooyoung about this; he ran his mouth too quickly by accident, but then he was the most open and helpful person for this topic out of the boys. "Oh, come on, you've been looking like a kicked puppy for days and now have been sighing for half an hour." Eyes wide, you look at Wooyoung; was it so obvious?

"Okay fine.." Taking a good look around, you two were the only ones in the dorm right now; some of the others went to shower while your boyfriend and Mingi went to get the food for tonight. "I don't know how to explain, like.. Yunho is an amazing boyfriend, he is attentive, sweet and always takes care of me.. in every aspect if you know what I mean, he is romantic and careful with me and.. since a few weeks I just feel.. unsatisfied? No.. that's the wrong wording something is missing? I don't know.." Your head falls into your hands as you try to speak the words swimming through your mind for days. "Sounds to me like you want to get pounded mercilessly." Choking on air, your head shoots up as you look at Wooyoung terrified. Why did he always have a way of speaking his mind without a second thought? "No, seriously, of course, romantic sex is nice, but a rough man that makes you forget your own name is something else. Try it; maybe it is the thing bothering you; if not, we can try and think of something else!" Wooyoung's talking about this as if that's a duo mission of you both now.

At that moment, Mingi and Yunho stepped through the door with bags of food in their hands. Wooyoung jumps up to take something while calling everyone to come eat; the others from the dorms downstairs just arrive a few minutes later. "Hope it was okay with Wooyoung; I know he can be a handful." Yunho presses a soft kiss to your temple, which makes you blush and nod. Wooyoungs words invading your mind now. Suddenly, you noticed every little filthy detail about Yunho. The way he towers over you, the way his long fingers wrap around his chopsticks, how his thick lips love, the way his pants strain against his thighs so deliciously. Shaking your head, you take a big gulp of your cold drink before shoving noodles into your mouth. Snickering made you look to your left, seeing Wooyoung smirk at you with a raised eyebrow, that fucker.

The evening continued with everyone deciding on playing a few games; Yunho sat beside you as he played Mario Kart against San, Seonghwa, and Jongho, screaming insults at them, which surprisingly made you clench your thighs under the blanket. Watching the way his fingers hit the buttons on the controller, your mind wandering off to filthy places yet again. Looking up to see Yunho bite his lip as he watches the TV intently while hitting the buttons on the controller.

"We should probably head down now, I'm getting tired." Yunho announces to the group making some whine in protest. Taking your hand, Yunho and you bid your goodbyes as he leads you out of the door and to the elevator to head down to his and Yeosangs dorm. "Hope you enjoyed the evening, my love." His hand was resting on the lower of your back now, drawing patterns with his long fingers. "Oh yes! It was fun watching you guys play, I also had a nice chat with Seonghwa and Hongjoong." Being led outside the elevator now and to the door of their dorm. "Really? I'm glad you enjoyed the evening.." He continued talking as he opened the door, letting you in first before following, quickly grabbing your waist to pull you against his chest after the door closed. "..You seemed to especially enjoy watching me, don't think I didn't see you rubbing your legs~" He whispers into your ear, placing a soft kiss against the shell.

"Are you in the mood? Wanna take this to the bedroom?" His touch was again soft, featherlight as if you'd break any second. "Please.." You whisper as you turn around throwing your arms around his neck as Yunho picks you off of the ground, moving you two to his room and locking the door. "You're so cute when you're needy baby.." His lips are attached to your neck already as he lowers you down onto your back, the softness of the bed engulfing you. "Also the dress you wore today is so pretty." Lips and kisses travel up your jaw till he meets your lips, capturing yours in a soft kiss. His hands run softly over your sides and up your thighs, pushing the hem of your dress higher and higher.

Those long sinful fingers soon meet your clothed cunt, as he starts to tease with light touches, watching your face contort in pleasure and small gasps leaving your lips. Yet it wasn't enough, it was too soft, and something was missing, yet you let him do his thing for now, maybe Wooyoung and your brain are wrong, maybe it was just the fact you weren't home the last few times, having sex in a hotel room is something else, it's weird. But as Yunho continued, slipping his fingers into your underwear, swiping his digit over your clit and down to your entrance, before entering and softly pumping it in and out. Moans leave your lips as your hands claw onto his upper arms, but you're still not satisfied; it wasn't enough; the touch was too soft, and it felt too light. "Yuyu.." You gasp out, his eyes meeting your hazed ones.

"I need more.." You whine, hands holding onto his arms tightly, his finger still inside you. "Do you want more fingers?" He asks now, not quite understanding what you're trying to tell him. Shaking your head embarrassed, your cheeky burn a bright hot red. "Do you want my dick?" He asks making you giggle slightly at the vulgar word leaving his mouth. "Yes but.. no.. I.. please fuck me so hard I forget my name, rough Yuyu please, I need you, use me.." You whine, your walls clenching around his fingers while you tell him what you need, a new wave of slickness covering his fingers. "That I didn't expect.. Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you.." Yunho looks at you worried, but you nod your head immediately. You were more than sure. "Please, Yunho, I need you." And suddenly something switched in Yunho.

Tearing down your underwear, he angles his hand differently before shoving two fingers into you, thrusting them in and out mercilessly, while his head leans down to bite your thigh and suck your clit. Moaning your head is thrown back into the soft pillow that smells like Yunho. Everything smells like him, his whole scent and being surrounding you. "F-Fuck Yunho.." Your thighs were trembling, already close to stumbling over the edge from how intense his fingers were, but before you could come, Yunho pulled his fingers away. "Strip." He orders you, making the wetness between your legs intensify; following his order, you strip out of your dress and bra before he pulls you onto his lap, Yunho still fully clothed.

His fingers soon found your hole again and pounded into it; this time, he added another one, the burn just the right mixture of pain and pleasure. Your head was thrown back as Yunho attaches his mouth to your mounds, licking and sucking the stiff nipples. "F-Fuck..!" Your moans were getting louder, and your hole clenched around his fingers, just to get the orgasm ripped away from you again, whining loudly. "Shut up, you wanted to get pounded roughly, make you forget your own name like a cock drunk little slut, like you're only made for my cock as a toy, the perfect hole to satisfy me." Yunho throws your body onto the bed, before turning you around and pulling your ass up. Before you could ask what he was doing, you could hear a familiar buzz coming from behind you, your whole body jerks as you feel the vibrator being placed against your clit, before it moved to your whole and is pushed in, yet it's your favorite one with two spots so your clit and g spot is being stimulated. "Better keep that in and not come until I'm ready."

You could hear him slowly open his belt which soon hit the ground before he moved to his other clothes, he was taking his painfully sweet time, while your body was being pleasured in two spots soon to make you see stars, biting down on your lip, you hoped Yunho would soon be finished and take the vibrator out before you come. And just as you were close to the edge again, he took it out and turned it off. "Good girl you listened so well~" His hand softly rubs over your back in a praising way. "Now you get what a slut deserves. You'll come so many times on my cock till you can only say my name, till the only thought in that dumb little head of yours is my cock pounding this tight little pussy." Grabbing your ass with one hand, he aligns himself and pushes in slowly, letting out a low groan. Moaning loudly as you arch your back, Yunho feels so deep inside of you. Instead of letting you adjust and start slowly, he grabs your hips with both hands and starts thrusting forcefully while pulling your ass against him in sync. This was what you wanted.

Moans leave your lips as your hands grab onto the sheets nothing else close to grab onto. "Look at that tiny cunt taking my cook so well; you're such a good cocksleeve for me, baby." Yunhos low groans pushed you closer to the edge; of course, he felt how close you were to coming. "Come slut, we're far from over." He groans as he snaps his hips against yours harder as you come on his cock, your walls pulsing around him, but he doesn't stop. Instead, his pace gets quicker and harder, your whole body shaking from the thrusts, and soon another orgasm is building up; this time, Yunho comes along with you. Pulling out for a second, you thought he was finished, but he turned you onto your back before entering your cunt again, making your back arch and tears swell in your eyes.

"Aw baby, no need to cry, I'll just make your wish come true." He whispers into your ear before snapping his hips against yours, his dick moving deep inside of your cunt; your head is thrown back as Yunho is back to attach his mouth to your mounds. He seems to be enjoying this just as much. Thrusting into you ruthlessly, his hips not slowing down once, that must be all the stamina from practice; that man could go for hours without a problem. "Y-Yunho.." Mouth slack as your eyes stare at the ceiling; another high is approaching; your body is already so sensitive from coming two times, already feeling your high; he moves his hand down your body and circles your clit quickly, and your eyes are blown wide from that as your orgasm washes over you that instant. Clutching onto his shoulders now, panting as you're coming down again, but Yunho still wasn't finished.

His big hands quickly grab your knees as he pushes your legs up, sliding into your cunt even deeper than before. "F-Fuck! To deep! Oh, holy shit.." Tears were now streaming down your face from the immense pleasure your body was feeling. "You're doing so great; you're so close to being finished." Yunho encourages you. Of course,, you knew the safeword for any case, but you wanted this so badly, so you nod at him. It takes him a second before pounding into you again, his strong hands holding your legs up into a mating press as he hammers his dick into your cunt. You were so close to seeing stars now from this position; he was so deep, sure he almost reached your cervix; his thrusts weren't letting up but rather getting even more intense. "You're doing so great, come on one more, baby~" His voice was low in your ears as his hips only grew in pace, making your eyes roll to the back; this was heaven. Quickly your last high was approaching, and with another thrust, he spilled in you as your fourth orgasm washed over you, your whole body trembling from overstimulation as his lips softly met yours in a kiss.

"Look at you, love, you did so well~" He slowly lets go of your legs before pulling out, mewling at the empty feeling now. "So pretty~" Kissing the tear streaks softly and rubbing them away with his fingers, your head was in the clouds, feeling his cum flow out of your used hole, eyes staring half-lidded at the ceiling. "Let's wash up." Picking you up softly, Yunho carries your bridal style to the bathroom, sitting you down on the toilette to pee before helping you clean up and putting on some fresh underwear and a shirt of his own. "Was it okay? Not too much?" Your mind was slowly calming down again, looking at him with starry eyes full of love. "It was perfect." Hugging his neck as he carries you back to the room, quickly changing the sheets before cuddling close to you on the bed.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier? If you didn't like it how we normally did it." His head looks down at you laying on his chest. Shaking your head in denial now. "I love the way you usually make love to me, but since Coachella and watching you at the tour, I just felt a bigger need; that doesn't mean I didn't like the other times." Smiling up at him, as he presses a soft kiss to your lips. "Glad to hear that; let's sleep now; you must be tired.. and probably not able to walk tomorrow." He giggles as you softly slap his naked chest, shaking your head before lying down again. Arms around each other, as you're lulled to sleep by his calm heartbeat. You definitely have to thank Wooyoung for his input.

[sunrizef1]

The Alchemy

Pairing: Logan sargeant x singer!reader

Warnings: Cursing

Authors note: recently realized that every time i include Logan in a fic, he gets points. That is me manifesting xx Not edited, ill edit later. Very loosely based on the alchemy by Taylor swift. This album has me in a chokehold. Also!! Tysm for 1k, I’ve been trying to think of something to do for that xx

Word count: 7.6k (took way too long, thanks Tay)

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“Do you want to go to the f1 race in Miami? Ferrari invited you.”

Your head snaps to your publicist who tilts her head with a questioning look on her face. You set your guitar down, putting an end to your idle strumming. It rests on top of your notebook filled with random lyrics and doodles.

“I didn’t know I was allowed to do that,” you reply, laying back onto the couch you were sat on, shifting to sit in the seat more comfortably.

Your publicist, Aimee, rolls her eyes at your response, clicking away quickly on her phone, “I mean, you’re one of the biggest stars in the world, you could technically do whatever you wanted. It’s just never been in your image to go to sports or whatever. But everyone is gonna be there.”

There it is, the real reason you’d be allowed to go to a race was to be amongst the famous people that Aimee would, no doubt, want you to mingle with. Mingling wasn’t your strong suit.

“Ill think about it,” you give her a tight-lipped smile which she hums in response to, sliding out of the room without another glance at you.

The second she's gone, you collapse against the leather couch, eyes locked onto the ceiling of your studio.

The real reason you wanted to think about going to the race wasn't because Aimee only wanted you to go to get good pr but, instead, it was because of your own personal connection with one of the drivers.

You'd met Logan a year ago at the previous Miami Grand Prix. Noone knew you were there and you had intended to keep it that way before you ran into the driver.

You got in fairly easy, Mercedes VIP pass wrapped around your neck. You were close friends with Lewis who promised he could get you in and out with it still remaining a secret. You had your jacket hood up above your head, hair pulled back away from your face and a pair of sunglasses resting on your nose.

You hadn't thought about how many people you knew would be there. Your eyes stayed trained on the ground for the most part, hoping that it you didn't look up, no one you knew would notice you.

Because you weren't looking where you were going, you didn't see yourself run straight into a taller figure, landing against his hard chest.

Both of you stumble back a bit from the impact and you immediately open your mouth to apologize to the man in front of you but when you look up, the words die in your throat. Your eyes trace the features of the blond man, soaking up every little detail of his pretty face. You can tell he's muscular through his blue t-shirt and your breath catches slightly.

He's speechless when he sees you as well but for a completely different reason. You may not have been in your flashiest clothes or have your usual makeup or hair but anyone with a brain could recognize you if they actually bothered to look. Your music had been everywhere for so long and Logan would be lying if he said he hadn't had a crush on you for the longest time.

When you look up at his face and see him gaping slightly in an attempt to make sure you're actually you, you grasp his hand and start to pull him along before he can blow your cover. You pull him along until you reach a quiet corner, quickly pushing him away from the eyes of other people.

He leans against the wall behind him, crossing his toned arms across his chest and you find yourself gazing again.

“So,” he starts, voice filled with humor, “What is Americas sweetheart doing at a Formula 1 race... Undercover?”

You roll your eyes but cant help the grin that starts to form from the mans words, “I'm not actually supposed to be here.”

“Oh and that's why I got dragged into a dark corner?” the man asks, grin splitting his pretty face.

You laugh but don't catch the pleased look on the man's face, “Yeah, sorry about that. Didn't want anyone to, I don't know, mob me or something.”

“I get it,” when he says it, you can't help but believe he really does get it for some reason. For all you knew, this man might just work PR for…you glance down at his t-shirt to check, Williams Racing!

“Well, thank you for cooperating…?”

The man raises his eyebrows at your questioning tone, “Logan.”

“Thank you for cooperating Logan. I know a lot of people that probably would've fought me for grabbing them like that.”

Logan laughs, head leaning back against the wall gently as the noise leaves his throat, “Its no problem. Are you in the Mercedes garage today?”

You nod at his words, glancing back out to make sure the both of you are still hidden from the outside, “Lewis said he could sneak me in.”

“He didn't do a very good job, then. If I found you out,” Logan grins, leaning away from the wall.

“Maybe not. But you're not gonna tell, are you?” you tilt your head teasingly at the blond, eyes crinkling with the weight of your smile.

He laughs again, sticking his pinky out between the two of you, “I won't, pinky promise.”

You giggle and Logan decides its the only noise he cares to hear from now on. You stick your hand out as well, wrapping your pinky around his and the two of you just stand there for a second, gazing toward the other.

But eventually, both of you seem to remember that there were time-sensitive events about to happen just about 10 meters from where you're stood. You break away from him, smile stuck on your features.

He walks away first, his grin replicating yours. He turns toward you as he walks away, pulling a hand up to wave goodbye slightly as he slides out of the corner.

“See you later, y/n,” he smirks before disappearing from view and something in you tells you you will be seeing him later.

You hurry to the Mercedes garage, having told Lewis you were there 15 minutes ago. He ushers you into his drivers room, telling you that you could chill there until the race started, only a slight bit of concern for your previous whereabouts written on his face. You don’t tell him you think you’d just fallen in love with some random teams random employee, deciding that was a bit too off topic for the currently rushing Lewis who was practically running around his room trying to get his stuff together. He wasn’t stressed since he was, of course, Lewis Hamilton, but this was the most frazzled you’d seen him

“Ill be back before the race starts,” Lewis nods toward you while he opens the door, things clutched in his tattooed hands.

“Have fun, Lew!” you call out, collapsing against his couch the moment he leaves.

You pass the time scrolling through your phone, scribbling random lyrics into your notes app and trying not to fall asleep. Lewis comes back quick enough, sneaking you into the garage with your hood pulled tightly over your hair and sunglasses sat firmly on your face.

No one spares you a second glance and if they do, they know better than to question Lewis Hamilton.

Your eyes are drawn to one of the screens above you, the drivers all stood out in a line together for the national anthem and your eyebrows raise when they land on a certain blond man. Right in front of your eyes, Logan is stood in Williams blue and white next to his teammate as the national anthem plays behind them.

Oh, that cheeky bastard.

Well, at least you now knew where to find him after the race. When the race starts, you try your hardest to stay focused on the Mercedes and cheer for Lewis but you can’t help but let your eyes trace the path of a certain blue car instead.

When the race ends and Logan’s in p8, you find yourself anxiously waiting for Lewis to get back so you can dip. You bounce passively on your heels, fingers picking at the fraying edge of your jacket. The Miami sun beats down relentlessly, making sure you stay safely in the shaded garage.

Lewis gets back quick enough, having not been on the podium this race. You give him a quick hug and a congratulations, telling him you’ll text him if you ended up wanting to get dinner later. You didn’t give him a concrete dinner plan since you had a feeling you’d be busy later.

You practically sprint out of the garage in your effort to find Logan before he leaves, missing the confused look you leave on Lewis’ face as he watches you run.

You honestly had no idea where the Williams garage was but when you see the familiar blue, you stop in your tracks outside the exit. You lean on the wall just outside the door, hoping no one will see you as they leave.

A driver in orange passes you, Oscar maybe, giving you a perplexed look as he walks by. You just dip your head farther, hoping he didn’t recognize you. Or worse, think you’re some kind of stalker.

But before the kid can call any security or ask you for a picture, a familiar laugh sounds out as someone opens the door next to you. You glance up and see Logan exiting and you reach over and grasp his wrist. Logan looks up to see you, his infinite smile seemingly stretching even wider as he see your concealed state.

“Hi, y/n,” he laughs dopily, abandoning whoever he’d been walking out with. You glance over his shoulder to see Oscar with his eyebrows furrowed and you pray any of his concern had disappeared when he saw Logan’s positive reaction.

“Hi, Logan,” you smile back, pulling him away from the garage and hopefully away from anyone at all, ending up in a corner not dissimilar to the what you had pushed him into earlier that day, “Congrats on the points. Can’t believe I thought you worked PR or something.”

He grins again, carding a hand through his sweaty hair. Your eyes trace the fireproofs he hadn’t taken off yet, trying not to ogle the muscles under the shirt.

“Thanks, I’m pretty sure both parts of those are compliments?” your eyes snap back to his and away from his chest. You can tell from the smirk on his face, he had noticed your stare and you try your best to control your blush.

As you two stand in the corner quietly for a moment, you’re surprised when Logan’s the one to break the silence.

“Do you want to get dinner later?” Your eyebrows shoot up in shock at his confidence but they quickly settle as you smile softly.

“I’d love to.”

Logan grins once again, shoulders obviously relaxing at your response, “My phones in my room… or I’d get your number.”

You laugh slightly as he leans back against the wall behind him, his own blush covering his cheeks as you giggle.

“I’ll go with you,” you state simply, shrugging your shoulders and watching as his own eyebrows raise.

“You sure?”

You laugh as he leans closer to you, “yeah I’m sure, Logan. I’ll give you my number and you can send me dinner plans and we can have a great time. Celebrate your win.”

“I didn’t win,” Logan’s face looks somewhere between a grimace and a smile. His hands moved to wrest against his hips. Right where his race suit was also sat.

“You got points. Close enough to a win in my book,” you shrug, smiling big.

Logan laughs loudly, head leaning back against the brick wall behind him and your own laugh joins his, creating a chorus of joy that wasn’t to common on these parts of the paddock.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll text you then. Come on, I need to shower,” he says to you, returning the previous favor by grasping your wrist in his and pulling you along to his drivers room. When he starts walking, you slide your wrist out of his grasp and intertwine your fingers instead, pretending not to see the grin that splits his face.

When you get to his room, you quickly put your number in his phone before exiting. As much as you wish you could’ve stayed, you had places to be and if you were going on a date, you'd need a few hours.

Logan texts you the minute you're in the car back to your place and you grin stupidly at the words on your screen, texting back quickly.

The date goes well, Logan being a perfect gentleman the whole time. He had picked a nice steakhouse he had no doubt been to a couple times growing up, considering you knew how he’d grown up. You had definitely not pulled his Wikipedia up the second your feet hit the floor of your room.

He sips his wine passively, much more interested in the stories you were telling about being on tour and the time one of your backup dancers had accidentally hooked up with one of the drivers. He offers to cut your steak for you and you let him, simply because none of your ex’s would have ever done something as small as that. He reads the dessert menu to you, asking the waiter for a second fork when you order the chocolate cake despite your objections about having your own slice. You both laugh but you shake your head when he offers to get a different piece. He picks up the bill despite your protests, sliding his card into the check and handing it back before you can even attempt to grab it from him. Then he walks you back to the car, arm around your shoulders as you try not to trip in your heels. When he drops you off, he moves to walk away from your doorstep but you’re quick to grasp his wrist, pulling him in and slamming the door behind the both of you.

That had been a year ago and you were still in love with Logan.

A year of Logan sneaking you in and out of the garage and a year of coincidentally scheduling tour shows to line up with race weekends. You’d released two albums about him. Not even your own manager knew who the songs were about. The only person who knew about the relationship was Lewis, who figured it out pretty quickly when you didn’t text him to get dinner that very first night. He was actually quite helpful in getting you in and out of the paddocks all across the world. He was pretty private to begin with so no one asked him many questions about where he was sneaking off to.

It’s not that you didn’t want to world to know about your relationship. It’s more that it was nice to have something you loved be private for once. Every boyfriend you’d ever had was inevitably mobbed by fans every time they stepped outside. Not that you were too empathetic. Half of your ex’s were contractually obligated to date you by your agency and the other half just sucked as people.

Logan was the first boyfriend you truly loved and got to choose to be with every day. Also, if your agency found out you’d secretly been dating someone and sneaking around for a year, you’d never hear the end of it and you’d probably get dropped for breach of contract, or whatever.

You didn’t tell anyone else on the grid. You would've but Logan dissuaded you after telling you that none of them could keep a secret for their lives.

So, the second Aimee left the room, your first calls is to Logan.

“Hey baby,” Logans voice echoes across the phone. You can hear a bit of exhaustion in his voice and recall him telling you he was about to work out, “Whats up?”

You can't help the heat that rises to your cheeks at even his simplest words, “Hey, are you free to talk?”

“Yeah, yeah, just finished working out with Benny,” He replies, and you car hear the beep of a car unlocking and the door opening before closing, “Everything okay?”

You hum, shifting in your seat, “Yeah, I'm fine. Aimee just asked if I wanted to go to the Miami gp with Ferrari.”

There's a few seconds of silence from Logans end of the phone before he responds, “Do you want to?”

“It’d be nice to go and not have to hide in the back of Mercedes,” you sigh, weighing the pros and cons, “But I don't want to go with Ferrari.”

“You can't pick the garage?”

“I’ll try but I feel like Aimee will just stick me in whatever garage she wants me in,” you sigh again, sinking dejectedly into the couch, “Not sure I'd get much of a choice.”

“I’d love to have you there,” you can hear the slight smile in his voice and you laugh warmly despite your previous annoyance.

“Ill try and convince her. I'll see you there Logan,” you smile, sitting up in your seat. You fiddle with a piece of your hair, glancing around the small room you're in. You weren't super confident you could convince Aimee but if Logan wanted you there, you'd try your hardest to get in the Williams garage.

Logan laughs, “See you there, babe. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Logan hangs up and you smile, tossing your phone down next to you. You're quick to pick it back up though, texting Aimee to ask if you can be in the Williams garage instead.

When the day of the Miami GP arrives and your stood in the Williams garage, its as much of a surprise to you as it is to everyone else. You had spent the past month trying to convince Aimee to let you sit in Williams instead of Ferrari. She had spent the past month telling you that it’d be better for your image to be in Ferrari.

You hadn't told Logan you’d be in his garage since, until that morning, you didn’t know you would be. You weren’t initially sure what made her change her mind but when you entered the garage and saw several celebrities almost more famous than yourself, it made sense. Of course she’d only agree to get you to be seen interacting with more a-listers. Jokes on her, though, because instead of staying in the garage for the next few hours, you decided to walk around. You were actually hoping to find Lewis in something other than a dark corner for once.

On the other side of the paddock, Logan had ended up in Ferraris hospitality after Oscar had dragged him along to meet up with Lando who was meeting up with Carlos who was meeting up with Charles who was meeting up with Max. So, in the end, Logan felt out of his element.

He chair sat slightly away from the others as they all talked about Miami, a place that Logan honestly didn’t have much to say about anymore. Maybe if someone asked, he’d say something. But he honestly wasn’t feeling it. He’d be more enthused if you were stood in his garage instead of Charles’, cheering him on. But, no, Aimee had you stuck in the red and yellow.

“Did you guys hear that y/n l/n is here?” A Spanish accent rings out from across the little circle of chairs, causing Logan’s head to snap up.

Lando’s head shoots up as well, eyes locking onto Carlos’, “You’re kidding! I love her!”

Carlos nods his head at the Brit, grinning widely, “Yeah, I heard some engineers talking about her earlier!”

Max snorts, shaking his head in disbelief, “If she was here, one of us would’ve seen her already. She’s not in either of our garages,” Max gestures between him and Charles who’s sat with an agreeable look on his face, nodding at Max’s words.

“I’m gonna ask around. If she’s here there’s no way I’m not giving her my number,” Lando laughs, already looking around for someone to interrogate. Logan has to hold himself back from rolling his eyes. Although it was weird Charles hadn’t seen you. Maybe he’d just left before you’d arrived.

“You sure she’s even single, mate?” Oscar asks the brunette man, laughing slightly as he turns around toward the Aussie with a smirk on his face.

“She hasn’t been seen with anyone in like a year and a half and there’s definitely no shortage of men in love with her. I’m about to jump on that before anyone else here snatches her up,” Lando laughs again, standing up from his chair quickly almost as if he’s about to sprint out but suddenly Lewis appears beside the little group, catching Lando before he can.

“What are you guys doing?” Lewis asks with a raised eyebrow, eyes surveying the group before they stop on Logan. Logan glances away from the older man quickly, choosing instead to stare at the ground.

“Talking about y/n l/n. Apparently she’s here and Landos so in love with her that he’s about to sprint out and find her. I’d want her number too but Lando seems more passionate,” Carlos laughs and Charles nods along with a grin. Lewis’ eyes land back on Logan with a small smirk gracing his features.

“Yeah but we’re not sure she’s even here, we all think she would’ve been in one of our garages if she was here,” Max continues, gesturing toward his fellow drivers. Logan has a sneaking suspicion he meant every garage beside Williams.

Logan grins again, pushing Lando softly back into his seat. Logan can feel the man’s gaze on his lowered head as he respond, “Well, she’s is here. She’s in the Williams garage.”

With that, Logan’s head snaps up to meet Lewis eyes and the eyes of all the other drivers move quickly toward Logan who’s too busy looking at Lewis to sink under their piercing gazes.

“She’s looking for you,” Lewis nods at Logan who’s quickly to stand from his seat, six pairs of eyes on his back as he turns away.

“Shit,” he mumbles under his breath as he starts to walk away from the group, his movements quickly turning into a run.

Back in the little circle, Lando sits with a pouty look on his face while everyone besides Lewis sits with incredulous looks on their faces. Lewis sits proudly, a small smirk on his face. Oscar is the one to break the silence.

“What the fuck just happened?”

Logan reaches the garage quick enough, hearing whispers of your name echo between engineers and PR workers alike, all mumbling about your surprising presence in the garage.

He jogs lightly over to Alex, slinging an arm around the taller drivers shoulders. The man turns away from the conversation he was having with Lily, furrowing an eyebrow at the weirdly exhausted American.

“What’s up mate?”

“Have you seen y/n?” Logan says through labored breaths, eyes tracing every corner of the building in search of a sign of you.

Alex shakes his head, glancing back toward his girlfriend, both with matching confused looks on their faces, “Nah mate, apparently we’ve just missed her.”

Logan groans dramatically, sliding away from Alex and moving toward the exit once again, correctly assuming you must be looking for Lewis. Alex turns back to Lily whose confusion mirrors his.

“What was that about?”

“No idea.”

Logan’s once again jogging through the paddock in search of you, praying he gets there before Lando can thoroughly weird you out or flirt enough to give you trauma.

His heads bowed to shield himself from the Miami heat so he doesn’t see himself run straight into someone. He reaches out to catch whoever he’s just thrown toward the ground and when he looks up he’s met with your pretty face. He’s honestly never been more relieved to see someone.

“Hi,” you smile softly as he leans you back to standing, arms still wrapped gently around your torso.

“Hi,” he laughs, out of breath from his jog. You both stand and stare in each others eyes for a moment, adoration in the air between you.

“That felt quite familiar,” you break the trance, laughing as his arms finally move away from you in order to keep a little decorum.

Logan barks a laugh, hand moving to run through his blonde hair as he glances toward the ground abashedly, “Yeah, except this time, you’re not pulling me into a dark corner.”

You glance around at the bustling people around you, realizing how little you cared about people seeing you interact. A weight feels like it’s been lifted off your shoulders at the fact you don’t have to hide your conversations around here anymore. It actually felt quite freeing.

“Yeah, it’s nice,” you reply, smiling as sunlight hits the side of your face, eyes not catching the loving stare Logan is sending your way as you bask in the Miami sun.

Logan grins, eventually pulling you away from the sun as he grasps your wrist. You lean into his side slightly, keeping a reasonable distance for people to think you’re just close friends. You’d already talked about how mad your agency would be if they found out you were dating. So you both agreed interactions in the paddock would be kept to platonic.

But as much as you tried to keep them so, you could only do so much. It was hard to keep the love out of your eyes as you stared at Logan, eyes tracing the side of his face. Anyone with eyes could see how gently he held you, with all the love and care in the world.

As you arrived back at the Williams garage, Logan kept walking and pulled the two of you back into his room as quietly as he could. Shutting the door gently behind him. As soon as the doors closed, your hand is wrapping around the side of his face and pulling him down to meet him in a gentle kiss.

He smiles into it, arms wrapping around your shoulders as you walk the two of you back to the couch, both flopping down onto it. You lean back against the arm rest as he lays against your chest, the exhaustion of a race weekend finally catching up with him.

“Go to sleep baby,” you say quietly, fingers carding through his sun-bleached hair, “You’ve got more than a few hours. I’ll wake you up when someone comes to get you.”

Logan hums half-heartedly, eyes already closing as he shifts to sit against you more comfortably, sleep quickly overtaking him. You scratch his head passively as he sleeps, almost petting him as if he was a golden retriever. You slide your phone open, mumbling lyrics and rhythms under your breath. You mange to type a few verses into your phone with one hand, occasionally having to pull your other hand away from his head momentarily. Every time you did, though, he’d shift in his sleep and your hand would go right back.

It’s a few hours of this before anyone comes to disrupt his nap, the door sliding open without a knock. Your eyes catch Alex’ and you quickly raise your hand with a shushing motion, gesturing down at the man sleeping on top of you. Although, Alex seems more preoccupied with your presence than Logan’s sleeping state, mouth dropping open as he takes in you and his teammates predicament.

“The team needs Logan, they’re about to start getting ready,” Alex manages to spit out, eyes still bouncing between the two of you. You nod, moving one hand to tap at Logan’s face lightly. The man groans through his tiredness, eyes cracking open slowly.

“Teams getting ready, they need you,” you smile down at him. He glances up at you with a small smile, eventually rolling off of you to stand up with a yawn.

Only then do his eyes catch on his teammate stood by the door, shock and confusion lacing his figure. Logan just waves slightly, drowsiness still fogging his mind. Alex blinks, arms frozen to his side.

When Logan grabs his stuff and steps out of the small room, stopping to give you a kiss on his way out, Alex finally snaps out of his haze.

“What the hell, man?” Alex manages to spit out.

Logan yawns as he walks by his teammate, a hand reaching up to rub the sleep out of his eyes, “Huh?”

Alex splutters through his words incredulously, “Why were you sleeping on top of y/n l/n? One of the biggest stars in the world was just hanging out in your room!?”

Logan hums, running a hand over the lines that had appeared on his face during his nap, “That’s my girl, man.”

Alex stops in his tracks, eyes wide and mouth dropped in shock, “What!?”

Logan rolls his eyes at his teammates dramatics, dragging him along next to him and also gesturing for Alex to keep his volume down, “Yeah, we’ve been together for a year and a few months.”

“Mate, what? She’s released like 3 albums in that time,” Alex starts before he seems to come to a realization, eyes snapping back to Logan again, “Oh my god, is reputation about you!?”

When Logan concedes and nods in response, a grin break out on his teammates face, “What about Lover? Or nonsense? Or espresso? Oh my god, so many of her songs must be about you!”

Logan holds back his annoyance, blaming his exasperation on his quite recent wake up call, taking a moment to remind himself that Alex was just surprised. If this had been any other day, he’d take any chance to talk about how cool you were or how much he loved you. But after everything with Landos crush and the boys thinking you’d only ever been seen in their garages, he was honestly annoyed. Not at you, of course, just at how everyone was acting without any tact.

“Yeah, come on, the team needs us,” Logan yawns, dragging his teammate down the hall, the latter still with a stupid grin on his face.

You stepped back into the garage again eventually, eyes scanning the parts of the garage you hadn’t seen before while hidden in the corners. Of course, the Williams garage was completely unfamiliar. But you hoped it wouldn’t be unfamiliar anymore after today.

You can feel the cameras and questioning glances on you, wondering why you’d be at an f1 race, let alone Williams. Everyone thought you’d be in Red Bull or Ferrari or at the least, Alpine, since several of your athlete friends had invested.

You’re not sure what the rules are for drivers going into garages that aren’t theirs but you’re ninety-nine percent sure Lando wasn’t supposed to be here. It didn’t help that he seemed to have dragged Oscar, Max and Charles along with him.

“Oh my god, y/n l/n!” You hear the Brit call out first, giddiness lacing his words. You glance over to see the four drivers approaching, turning your gaze back to the team momentarily to check if this was allowed. There’s uneasy looks on their faces but none of them move to kick them out so you turn back to the quartet.

“Hi?” You smile with a raised eyebrow and you swear you see Lando blush. Oscar rolls his eyes as the older driver starts dramatically fanning himself.

Charles is the first person to respond normally, sticking out his hand as he leans toward you, “It’s nice to meet you, we’re big fans. Some of us obviously more than others.”

You laugh as Charles side-eyes Lando who responds by sticking his tongue out. Their interactions made sense considering you were pretty sure half of them never graduated high school. You reach out and shake Charles’ hand before dropping it as Max reaches out his own.

“I’m Max, not sure how much you know about F1,” Max states, tilting his head. If only he knew just how many races you'd been to.

You nod your head with a small smile, ignoring the way Lando is staring with a dopey look on his face, “Yeah, yeah, I've actually watched a lot of races, so I've seen you win a lot haha.”

Max smirks slightly, shaking his head. Lando frowns as Oscar elbows him and mumbles something under his breath, “She’s never seen you win, mate.”

Your head snaps toward the drivers in papaya as Lando practically tackles Oscar, putting the Aussie in a headlock. You tilt your head toward Charles who’s watching with a frown but makes no effort to separate the pair, “This happen a lot?”

He hums, nodding his head, not taking his gaze away from the thing 1 and thing 2 now on the ground in front of you, “Yeah, they’re like puppies, got to let them get their energy out somehow. No ones been seriously maimed. Yet.”

You snort, finally looking away from the idiots as you hear someone walk up behind you, Charles and Max, the latter turning around as well.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” The commanding voice of the Williams team principal rings out, causing the two mclarens to halt their movements, immediately separating as they stand up.

James surveys the little group for a few moments and you look over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of blond hair before it disappears.

“Now,” James starts, scanning the drivers in front of him, all in varying colors of team shirts, “I could probably get you all in trouble for being in my garage but since I’ve heard a lot of excitement about our guest today, I’ll let it slide.”

You looks back to the man in front of you when you hear a mention of yourself, skin heating as several pairs of eyes all look to you. You look away and back to where you’d seen Logan, hoping for a quick escape. You find him but you watch as he makes eye contact with Lando before turning away as quick as he can. Lando, on the other hand, shoots a hand out to point at the driver, moving forward toward him.

“Logan!” He yells as the aforementioned driver turns away, making himself busy with pretending to be helping Alex, “I need to know what he did to get you in his garage!”

Lando gestures at you before moving to walk past you. He only makes it a few steps before James is stepping in front of him, pushing the lighter man back slightly, “I actually believe you will all be going back to your own garages, yes? It’s almost time for the race.”

Lando frowns with a suspicious look on his face, planting his feet firmly in the ground beneath him as if challenging James to move him. Oscar rolls his eyes before grabbing the brunettes wrist and dragging him out of the room, waving slightly at Logan as he exits.

Charles and Max both wave at you as they leave but Max is the one calling out, “Nice to meet you, y/n.”

You smile at the pair, waving them goodbye. You sigh as you turn around, tiredness filling your face. James stops you before you can stalk off to your seat for the race, hands grasping your shoulders lightly.

“It’s nice to finally meet my drivers girlfriend,” there’s a knowing look on the man’s face and you open your mouth to respond but he beats you to it, “He didn’t tell me. But I saw you two in the hall earlier, the boy had love written on his face, it would’ve been hard to miss.”

You blush, looking down toward the ground with a smile, “Thanks Mr Vowles, it’s nice to meet you as well.”

James laughs, ruffling your hair as he leans away, “Have a fun day, kid. Maybe you’re his lucky charm. And you can call me James.”

You smile as you walk away, smoothing your hair back to place. You weren’t too annoyed by the antics since it was pretty windy anyway, your hair had already been going wild.

“Thanks, James. Good luck, today.”

He just nods in response before slipping away, no doubt to get ready for the race. You turn to talk to Logan but he’s already been swept up in the chaos of the pre-race so you leave him to it, finally making it to your designated seat for the day.

It’s not long before it’s lights out and away we go.

P3. P fucking 3. Logan had just gotten a podium.

You don’t think you’d ever screamed as loud as you had when he crossed the line. Luckily, Alex’ girlfriend, Lily seems just as excited as you, jumping up and down as the team celebrated around you. Fortunately, Alex had had a good race as well, finishing in fifth.

You didn’t bother wiping the tears that were falling from your eyes, too busy trying not to fall over in your expensive heels as Lily dragged you to where the team was meeting at the barriers. Sun shines brightly down on you all, painting your faces with a warming light. Williams employees revel in joy from all around you, pure happiness gracing their usually joy-deprived faces.

The crowd seems to part as you and Lily make your way to the barriers, grasping at each other tightly, trying to make sure this was all real.

Tears stream down your face, no doubt taking your mascara with them. You have to gasp for air more than a couple times, pure elation taking over your breath. You watch as the blue car rolls in front of you, slowing to a stop. Lily hugs your arm tightly, already having heard about your relationship from Alex. You see Alex’ car out of the corner of your eye but you’re too busy trying not to collapse.

Logan steps out of the car, hands visibly shaking. You can practically see the smile through his helmet as he stands on the nose of his car, the crowds of Miami cheering for their hometown hero.

He jumps down and moves to take off his helmet, gloves coming off with them. He glances around at the crowd above him, taking in the moment he gets to be the hero for once, gets to be revered. But his eyes do move away, tracing the crowd for his team.

When his eyes land on yours, another tear slides down your face and drops off into the warm concrete below you. His grin in that moment could move mountains, filled with enough pure joy to heal any aches and pains you’ve ever felt. You can’t look away from his child-like joy, having never seen him this happy in your entire year of dating. His eyes widen with a warmth you wish you could find a way to stay in forever, almost rivaling the warmth of the Miami sun.

Someone from race control tries to get him to go get weighed but he’s dropping his helmet before taking off in a run. He reaches you and before you can even say a word, he’s grasping your face in his hands and leaning down to put his lips against yours, melting into your embrace.

Screams echo around you but all you can hear is the words Logan whispers as he breaks away, leaning his forehead against yours, “I did it, baby.”

You laugh, leaning toward him as he reaches a hand up and wipes away your tears, “Yeah, you did. I’m so proud of you!”

Logan smiles, closing his eyes momentarily to take in the love between you, “Thank you for coming, I love you so much, baby.”

You tilt his head up to catch his lips in another searing kiss, hoping he can feel just how proud and in love with him you are, “I love you too, so, so much.”

You’re both just grasping at each other, praying to be able to simply hold each other for as long as you can before someone pulls him away. Unfortunately, that comes sooner than you’d hoped as someone from race control pulls him away to get weighed. You finally break from the trance he’d put you in, looking around to see Charles and Max staring at Logan as he walks in front of them, glances shared between the pair in p1 and p2.

Lily wraps an arm around you as Alex walks away from her as well and you lean your head on your shoulder, watching as your boyfriends talk after getting weighed, obvious congratulations and pats on the back being shared between the two.

You knew this would make Aimee mad, but you honestly couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You were too busy being young and in love. You could always find a different agency, you were in high demand after all.

Logan’s stood to the side with Alex when Lando walks up, eyebrows furrowed deeply as he surveys the Williams drivers.

“What the hell was that, mate?” Lando calls out to Logan, confusion creeping through his outward disapproval.

Logan laughs at the Brits face, sensing a bit of disappointment in the McLaren drivers demeanor, “The podium?”

Lando rolls his eyes, running a hand through his curls, “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Logan laughs again as Alex throws his arm over the younger drivers shoulder, preparing to steer the two of them to interviews, “Just kissing my girlfriend, mate. Nothing else to it.”

Lando seems to be even more confused as the Williams drivers walk away, although he does eventually manage to shout out a final sentence, “How’d you manage that!?”

Logan practically cackles as Alex snorts, knowing as much as he did that it was a miracle he had pulled you, “I’m not sure either!”

They do eventually make it to interviews and then podium, Logan sending a heart down at you with his hands before Charles and Max turn to him, champagne in hand. Logan stands there and takes it, Miami sunlight bounces off the rivulets of alcohol that cascade across his tanned skin, still hot with the warmth that had infected him during the race.

The next morning, you don’t remember much from the night before. You had gone out to celebrate with Logan and of course, it was Miami and you were known so it wasn’t too hard to find the best spots. Drinks flowed and music pumped and you’re pretty sure you were hanging out with pitbull at one point.

Logan was still asleep in your bed in your Miami home, shirt missing and a distinct smell of beer sticking to his skin. His hair was ruffled and random pieces of glitter floated around his skin. His shins were hanging off the edge of the bed and random marks littered his exposed back, scratches and bruises, no doubt your fault, painting his usually blank skin with hues of red and purple. You’re not sure if you’ve ever been more in love with him.

You slide from the bed quietly, moving toward your guitar as a sudden bout of lyrics plagues your mind, begging to be released. You strum passively as you sit out on your balcony, humming lyrics under your breath as Logan remains asleep soundly in your bedroom.

“Said it’s still reserved for me … who are we.. fight the alchemy?”

A month later, Logan’s entering the paddock, his phone clutched tightly in his hand and headphone covering his ears. He’s making his way to his garage when he’s suddenly bombarded by the same five drivers from Miami, all talking over each other.

“Calm down, one at a time, please,” Logan sighs, waiting for them to quit speaking at the same time. They all stop, Carlos being the one to speak first.

“Have you heard the new y/n song?” Carlos asks, eyes raised widely. Logan laughs as he asks it, sliding his phone open to Spotify, proudly showcasing your new song playing on loop.

The Alchemy - y/n l/n

Logan slides his phone in his pocket, walking away before Lando can wax poetic about you or complain about Logan stealing you away from him. Logan glances back to see Oscar covering Landos ears as the song starts to play from a nearby speaker. Logan laughs as Charles, max and Carlos do the opposite of helping by deciding to sing it loudly in the Mclaren boys face.

Alex watches his teammate walk up, pulling off his headphones to find the song also playing the garage. Alex laughs, leaning his head back in content, basking in the pure happiness radiating through the atmosphere this weekend.

“Good song,” Alex hums, cracking an eye open to see a wide grin split the younger man’s face.

“Thanks man, it’s about me.”

Alex laughs, leaning back against the chair he was sitting in, watching as Logan sways to the song, lips moving to the words no one else had had time to learn yet.

Alex closes his eyes again, letting the rhythm of the song and Logan’s hums take over his hearing. He wasn’t sure about your relationship at first but he honestly hoped you’d stay together just so he could see Logan this happy every weekend.

You, on the other side of the world, were listening to the song at the very same time, singing the lyrics to yourself and dancing to a song Logan had been hearing for the past month non-stop.

As you danced along, you just knew Logan was out there somewhere, dancing with you.

———————————————

Tags: @casperlikej @evie-119

[formulawolff]

xiii. show the world - t.w.

pairing: female!driver x toto wolff

word count: 2.7k

warnings: cursing, angst, lots of angst to be completely honest, pining, age gap relationship, toto being down bad per usual, two idiots in love but won't admit it, yadayadayada

prev. | next.

“be honest with me. are you seeing someone?”

daniel brings a wine glass to his lips, tilting it back as you sit across from him, your fork clattering against the table. heat radiates off of your cheeks, flourishing into your neck as your eyes snap away from his intense stare. 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

the sun was starting to set over the water, casting a tangerine glow across its surface. fluffy clouds float along, the sky bursting with lavender, fuschia, and cerulean hues. yachts drifted along, their lights beginning to glimmer as the sky grew dimmer and dimmer. on your left, it was almost like the city was given its first breath of night life, locals strolling along the streets, their conversations and the growl of engines as they zoomed along the streets merely white noise. 

it was truly a breathtaking view, distracting you for just a moment, taking your focus away from the conversation at hand.

yet, you remember he’s awaiting your answer, arms folded across his chest, brows knit together. scrambling to formulate some sort of response, you gnaw on the inside of your cheek, shoulders slumping. 

“what if i told you i was?”

“hmm,” daniel hums, downing the rest of his wine, “then i would say good for you, i guess.”

“oh come on,” your regain your composure, frustration brewing in the pit of your stomach, “i thought we consensually agreed that we wouldn’t explore a relationship because we needed to keep things professional.”

“i did that because that’s what you wanted,” daniel swivels his head, glancing out at the water, “i never agreed to that. i only respected your wishes because that was what you wanted. i never wanted that. i wanted you.”

“but you never told me,” you protest, absentmindedly picking at your ratatouille, “that night in jeddah, i vividly remember you telling me that you never acted on your feelings because you knew that it was one-sided.”

daniel huffs, shaking his head, “i didn’t think i would’ve had to spell it out for you. i was under the impression you knew that i had feelings for you. and actually, i thought you reciprocated those same feelings. thank you for reminding me of the cold hard truth. i feel so much better about this. thanks for that.”

“you’re not being very mature about this. what happened to staying emotionally mature about the matter?”

“i was doing that until i heard from alex that you were dating someone,” daniel retorts, his tone seething with fiery anger, “you couldn’t just tell me yourself? also, how long were you going to keep that from me? were you just not going to mention it until i found out?”

“i didn’t think it was important,” you shrug, shrinking in your seat as pairs of eyes sear into you, the stares becoming more and more prominent as daniel’s voice carries throughout the patio.

“starting a relationship with someone isn’t important?”

“daniel,” you hiss, desperately wishing you were wearing a cap or some sunglasses, “people are starting to stare.”

“okay and?” he cocks his head, “i don’t give a fuck. you have no fucking idea how heartbroken i’ve been these last few weeks. i feel like my entire world has been turned upside down. meanwhile you’re frolicking around with some douchebag from st. louis. obviously the dick is must have you in a chokehold because you’ve been a completely different person.” 

“daniel, please,” the notes in your tone raise an octave as your lower lip trembles, “stop, please. people are listening. can we talk about this some other time–”

“well luckily for you,” daniel inhales sharply, rising to his feet, “i don’t want to discuss it any further. i’m done here. see you around, america’s princess.”

tossing his napkin on the table, the australian snatches the keys to his rental, muttering under his breath. you remain at the table, people resuming back to their previous conversations as the waitress comes by, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. 

“is everything all right, madame?” 

“i just need the check please,” you mumble, tears threatening to spill over as you reach for your purse, “i’ll pay for it all. i am so sorry about that.

“no worries madame,” the waitress chirps, “would you care for a free dessert for your troubles?”

you know what? free dessert didn’t seem too bad after all. 

“oui, s’il vous plait.”

at your response, the waitress’ lips curve into a wide grin, “tu es le bienvenu.”

letting out a shaky breath, you wipe away a tear, pulling your phone out of your purse. swallowing the lump in your throat, you message the one person you needed most.

i hope things are going well on your end tonight. is there any chance you can come by my hotel room, or i swing by yours? it would be later tonight. i want my sexy, smoochable, handsome boyfriend. :’((((( 

the moment you send the message, three little bubbles appear, signaling that he had received it, and was crafting a reply.

i take it the dinner didn’t go well? what happened, meine liebe? ich vermisse dich auch. 

wrinkling your nose, you highlight the text, tapping the copy option. thumb gliding across the screen, you click on the google translate app, pasting it into the textbox. 

what happened, my love? i miss you too. 

i can explain more later. you type, are you busy? 

never too busy for you. remember, we’re in monaco. i own a place here. 😘 you can just come by whenever you need. i’m at home. do you need the address?

yes please. i’ll be there as soon as possible. 

i can’t wait to see your beautiful face. here’s the address. i’ll be waiting impatiently. 

the second you type his address in your phone, the waitress comes by your table, a box in one hand, billfold in the other. placing the box on the table, you anticipate her to do the same with the check. yet, she doesn’t keeping it in her grasp. 

“madame, your meals have been taken care. a gentleman called, inquiring if he could foot the bill. he stated he did not want you to worry about anything else this evening. is that all right?”

your heart flutters, “did he say a name, by chance?”

“no madame,” the waitress flashes you a quaint smile, “again, i am so sorry if your evening has been ruined in any sort of way. i hope the dessert helps in some fashion!”

“thank you,” you reciprocate the gesture, “and again, thank you for the dessert.”

“it is no problem,” the waitress dips her head, “have a great evening, madame!”

rising to your feet, you push in your chair, ensuring that you don’t forget the plain white box that was placed on the table. carrying it under your arm, you pull up your maps app, feeling a grin form.

maybe tonight will not end as poorly as it began. 

you could thank toto wolff for that.

ever since miami, you felt as if the weight of the world was off your shoulders. the stress was alleviated, dissolving almost completely. you could go about your day without that ever-present thought in the back of your mind, gnawing away at you. 

however, there were more mountains to climb. more obstacles to face. 

you had yet to sit down with james, alex, or anyone else really, to discuss your decision to depart from williams at the end of the 2024 season. 

toto was the only one who knew. 

and for the time being, you were okay with that. 

but you were running out of time. the days were soaring by. you would blink and suddenly it would be time to board that flight. it would be time to get behind the wheel, adrenaline coursing through your veins. it would be time to step on that podium, raising that gleaming trophy above your head, your team roaring below. 

with four grand prixs wins, three of which were back-to-back, you were unstopabble. 

a force to be reckoned with. 

max tried to catch you, he really did. 

but you were too fast, fueled by the thrill of victory. 

it was intoxicating, sending an electric, exhilarating buzz throughout your entire being every time you breezed across that finish line.

and with a man like toto by your side, how could you possibly lose? 

with the monaco grand prix on the docket for the weekend, you were preparing for a challenging race. the circuit was extremely tight, the track interweaving through the buildings and sights the city. it was an infamous track, known for its rich history and well, the accidents. 

additionally, there was little to no room for overtakes. so if you wanted to be on that podium on sunday, you had to execute a stellar qualifying lap. with that added pressure, you were a little apprehensive for what was to come. 

yet, you couldn’t let that anxiety creep in. you had to maintain your composure. it was crucial that you kept a calm, cool outlook on the race. 

and as you found yourself at that massive gate, pressing the button to your left, you couldn’t help but feel peace of mind. 

you could thank toto wolff for that as well. 

with every moment spent with the team principal, you couldn’t help but shake this aching, nagging feeling. 

it was a pure, innocent feeling. one that filled you to the brim with bliss, a cozy warmth blossoming in your chest, your heart swelling with joy. one that had you beaming from ear to ear, your once gloomy days now shining with this golden, rich light. 

you were in love with him. 

hopelessly in love, your whole heart resting in his tender hands. 

you couldn’t tell him that though. you couldn’t bring yourself to. 

at least, not yet. 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“all right,” james’ sucks in a breath, his head swiveling from side to side, taking in the commotion all around. 

“are you ready?” 

“come on,” you wave a hand, “you know the drill. i was born ready.” 

“i know,” the team principal’s lips twitch as he fights a smile, “but this is a pretty significant race. there’s a lot of history and heartbreak on this track.” 

“are you saying that you don’t think i can win?” you tease, your voice muffled slightly by the thick exterior of the helmet, “james, i can do this. believe me, i can do this.” 

“there’s a lot at stake here,” he places a hand on the top of your head, patting it, “just remember, whatever happens, i believe in you. always.” 

i believe in you. always. 

your lower lip trembles, and in that moment, you want to confess right there. you almost blurt out the words that had been lingering on your tongue for weeks now. 

james, after this race, we need to to talk. 

however, you don’t. you simply nod, drumming your hands against the steering wheel, “i’ll make you guys proud, i promise.”

“oh, you already do,” his eyes glimmer, bursting with pride, “you’ve made us so fucking proud these last few weeks. and you know what? i know you’re going to continue to make williams racing proud. i can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us.” 

fuck. 

that conversation was going to absolutely destroy you, splitting your heart into two. 

you couldn’t think about that, though. 

the race was about to start. 

on the grid, you were behind charles leclerc and oscar piastri. it wasn’t terrible positioning, but with the limited space, you knew that getting ahead would be nearly impossible. it would be a miracle if you were able to cross that finish line in first place. 

yet, you were more than willing to take the risks involved to get to that position. 

all you needed was a little bit of luck. 

which, these days, it seemed like you were full of it. like you were carrying a four leaf clover in your pocket at all times. 

as rays of sunshine filter through the clouds, a gold streak of light dances in your peripheral vision. 

nestled on your wrist was the charm bracelet toto had gifted you that fateful night in jeddah. the charm gleams, reminding you of two things. 

one, your very first grand prix victory.  

two, that he was always with you. 

perhaps he was that good luck charm you were desperately searching for.

maybe. just maybe. 

in about seventy-eight laps, you would have that answer. 

“and she has done the impossible! she has shattered yet another record! miss america has won monaco! she has won her fifth grand prix!” 

“fuck yes!” you shout, “we won! we won monaco!” 

“brilliant fucking job,” james’ voice trembles, thready with excitement, “bloody good job!” 

euphoria crashes over you like a tidal wave, leaving you speechless as it sucks the air out of your lungs. burying your head in your hands, your shoulders shake as you sob. 

never, in your wildest dreams would you have expected to have made it this far. 

never would you even imagined racing as a little girl, let alone racing at this caliber. 

and winning races? five of them?

little you, cheesing with her toothy five-year-old smile, standing next to a kart, helmet under her arm, wouldn’t have ever dreamed of this moment. 

you had improved miles upon miles from the driver you were last season. you made history. time and time again. you had shattered records, obliterating barriers in the world of formula one racing as a twenty-two year old woman. 

and fuck, you weren’t even done yet. 

you still had a world title to chase after. 

“holy shit. holy shit. holy motherfucking shit.” 

stepping out of the car, your heart races, your team nearly sprinting to congratulate you. picking out james, you flash him a thumbs up. the crowd raves, whooping, whistling, and hollering your newfound nickname. 

“miss america! miss america! miss america!” 

cameras appear out of thin air, recording as you step down, james and alex swathing you with their embrace. alex rattles your helmet, james’ grin shining bright as the cameras flash. 

“what a bloody brilliant day!” james shouts, a glossy sheen over his eyes, “what a fucking day!” 

“what place did you finish, alex?” your voice rises above the noise, “what did you get?” 

“ninth!” he chirps, “two drivers in the top ten? that’s a pretty fucking good day!” 

“a very fucking good day,” laughter rises in your chest, spilling out, “fuck, that nearly took everything out of me!” 

“well you better shape up,” alex pats your back, “because you have a podium that’s calling your name.” 

as the team gathers, making their way to the finish line, your heart yearns for one thing. well, one person. 

toto. 

pursing your lips, your eyes scan through the garages, attempting to make out the mercedes paddock. yet, there is too much movement in your line of sight as the crew members assemble, circling around their respective drivers. 

the euphoria lingers as your step onto the podium, the crowd below applauding. there are shouts that rise above the clapping, yet you can barely make them out. 

surveying the mass, your heart skips a beat as you locate him. 

his eyes lock with yours, pure, radiant adoration painted across his features. 

that’s my girl. he mouths, dimples apparent with every word. 

a few strands of hair flutter in his face, the top button of his shirt un-done, the fabric slightly wrinkled from the chaos of race day. 

yet, he was as gorgeous as ever. 

as charles and oscar pop open the champagne, you hesitate, fingers trembling as they wrap around the neck of the bottle.

you know what? 

fuck this. 

“hey!” charles calls out as you step down from the platform, “where are you going?”

there’s a brief moment of confusion from the crowd, a few gasps ringing out as you shoulder your way down the stairs, muttering numerous apologies as you accidentally elbow several people along the way. 

there was only one thing on your mind as you nudged your way through the throng of people gathered beneath the podium. although your skin burned beneath your suit, sweat clinging to every part of you, there was this tugging sensation at your heart. it urged you to keep going. to keep searching. 

you were face-to-face now, his brow furrowing with concern, arms folded across his chest as you take another step forward. 

“what are you–"

that’s when toto wolff found your lips colliding with his, the entire world crumbling away as he found himself lost in you.

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[asilentsongbird]

For you, I think I would learn how to love

For my lovely anon who asked for husband Neuvillette, I bring you a whole fic. This man has me in a chokehold and I need everyone to know how much I love him.

Pairing: Neuvillette x fem! Reader Word Count: ~7k

Summary: Tired of waiting for you to find a husband, your parents find one for you. One who happens to be the Chief Justice of Fontaine. A new city, a new life, a new husband. So much new, and you could only hope, deep in your heart, that you would find happiness and love in Fontaine.

The first time you meet him, it's rather formal.

It's not as though you have much of an option. Though you certainly couldn't say you expected when you woke up to be told that your parents had found a husband for you, and that you'd be married in a week.

They had been pushing marriage lately, saying you were the right age, but the thought had been far from your mind. You thought you still had time, and the next thing you knew, you were being brought to Fontaine.

It's certainly different from Liyue. The hills and mountains are different from the Stone Forrest. The air feels different, there's water heavy in it.

You wait, in an ornate room that feels much too fancy. You've been left alone for a brief moment, the most your parents have allowed since you were told the news.

Part of you wonders if you could escape if you jumped out the window. A quick glance told you that it was much too high to entertain that idea. You'd end up breaking a leg before you got out of this marriage.

The door opens. A man appears, with long white hair with blue streaks in it. Simply from his appearance, you can tell that this is someone important. Your spine straightens as sharp eyes land on you, zeroing in on you.

You felt small, for a moment. As though he was judging you for simply existing in a space you'd rather not be in. Though your parents didn't care if you had plans or wished to find a husband on your own.

The man doesn't say anything. He closes the door behind him with a click, and makes his way over to you. Despite the desire to shrink back, you stand your ground, until he finally stands before you.

Up close you can see more details. He towers over you in height, but you suppose most people would feel short compared to him. His eyes capture your attention the most, the pupils such a strange shape, but gorgeous nevertheless.

"I apologize for leaving you waiting," he starts, almost looking as lost as you on how to start.

You wave your hands frantically in front of you. "It's fine! I didn't expect anyone to come in. I was told I would be meeting-"

Saying future husband felt much too strange. The man in front of you notices your pause, and arches a single silver brow. You frantically try to remember the name of the man who is meant to be your fiance.

"Ah, sorry, I was meant to meet a Mister Neuvillette?" your voice stumbles awkwardly over the new word, still struggling with the accent.

On the trip to Fontaine, your parents had tried to give you lessons on the language, as though you would become fluent in the few hours it took to travel.

The man blinks. And then he blinks again, as though he's trying to figure out what you just said.

Apparently the lessons hadn't worked.

"Sorry, my accent needs work," you apologize. "I hear he's the Chief Justice?"

The man nods, slowly. "That is correct."

You hum, non-committal, waiting to see if your company decides to keep the conversation going. When he doesn't, you find yourself unable to think of words.

Well, this felt awkward. And from the way the man still seemed at a loss for words, he also felt the same.

The tension could almost cut a knife.

He clears his throat after a moment, the sound almost makes you jump.

"Yes, well..." he pauses, gesturing towards the couch. "I am sure monsieur Neuvillette will be here soon."

You take a seat near him. Not close enough to be inappropriate, but close enough that it would be clear that you were talking.  Maybe "monsieur Neuvillette" will see the two of you and decide that this marriage wasn't something he wanted a part of.

"Congratulations on your engagement," your new friend tells you after a moment. You give him a tight lipped smile.

"Thanks."

Once again, silence descends over you two. You fidget with your skirt, smoothing out the wrinkles from travel. Hopefully, it wasn't something your new husband would be upset about.

At least the silence didn't feel as oppressive this time. You let yourself relax, taking a deep, steadying breath.

"Can I ask you something?"

The man beside you nods. You still haven't gotten his name yet, you realize. You'd have to ask later, after some other questions. Who knows when your parents and future husband will be coming.

"Um...how is Neuvillette?" you tentatively ask, to which you only receive a rather blank, if not curious look.

You suppose you'll have to be more direct. Though it almost pains you.

But at least, if he's not kind, you would like a warning. Some way to prepare yourself for what the rest of your life is going to be like. Some women, they don't even get that. They were woken up on the day of their wedding, and the rest of their lives was at the whims of their husbands.

You steel yourself, and fully turn your attention to your friend.

"Is he kind?"

Something in him softens at that. He looks at you with an emotion that you can't recognize in that moment. Pity, maybe?

He opens his mouth, but before you can get your answer, the door opens.

Your parents lean in for a moment, see you sitting on the couch, talking to a stranger, but strangely have nothing bad to say about that. In fact, they look delighted.

"Are you two getting along well?" your mother asks you, somewhat reminding you of a cat just having caught a bird.

The satisfaction on her face made you uneasy, like there was a secret you were missing.

"Fine, thank you," your friend replied for you when you couldn't manage words. "Your daughter is very polite."

Your parents beam at that. The uneasy feeling in your stomach gets worse.

"Thank you, monsieur Neuvillette."

Somehow, it hadn't dawned on you. Your stomach feels like it falls into the floor, but Neuvillette doesn't seem to have any other reaction, looking at your parents. They don't even wither under his stare.

You never wanted to shrink into the floor more. You had just asked your future husband about himself. And more than that, you asked him if he was kind.

Your parents talk with Neuvillette, allowing you a moment to feel invisible and wallow in your self-pity and embarrassment.

At least, until you feel a small tug on the sleeve of your blouse.

It's one of the melusines, you had found them to be very cute upon first seeing them. Your parents hadn't explained much about them, so you found yourself blinking down at the small melusine.

"He is," she says to you, nodding.

You tilt your head to the side. Briefly, you feel eyes on you, but when you look at your parents, they're still talking to Neuvillette, and taking his attention.

"He's what?"

She hands you a long ribbon. It's a deep, ocean blue, the same color that Neuvillette is wearing.

"He is kind," she explains, patiently, as though you were a child. "I heard you ask."

Your cheeks felt like they were on fire, especially as she climbed up next to you, weaving the ribbon through your hair, and both your parents and Neuvillette turned to stare.

"Y/N, that is very rude to ask," your mother scolds, because that is the lot of women in life, only to worry about when men think of you and what might make you undesirable. You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"Nonsense, it is a very reasonable question to ask. Why wouldn't someone want to know who they're marrying?" Neuvillette cuts in, before your mother can scold you any more.

Your parents fall silent, nodding their heads in agreement as though they hadn't been about to lecture you like a child. You would have laughed if it wasn't for the Melusine finishing with your hair.

"There," she says, with her self imposed job done. "Will you be having a wedding?"

You weren't sure your heart could take any more surprises today. Your cheeks hadn't even lost their blush from the first moment, at this point you didn't think they'd ever go back to their normal color.

"We'll have to see," you murmur, because you weren't completely sure yourself.

She nods, taking in your word and opinion as though it was law. Neuvillette didn't contradict you either, but did finally turn back to your parents.

You don't get too much of a chance to participate in most of the conversation. The Melusine, Sedene, as you learned the name of, asks you more questions that keep you occupied.

It's a welcome distraction. It's better than awkwardly listening to a conversation about your future where at least two of the three people here wouldn't even care for your input.

The jury was still out on Neuvillette.

Eventually though, it grew late, late enough that Sedene was sleeping with her head on your lap. It seemed that finally the other three were tired of negotiating over your life.

Before you knew it, you looked up from your lap just in time to see Neuvillette leave without even a goodbye, the door clicking behind him. Your parents look much too pleased with themselves, which you somehow didn't think was possible.

"I told you, the match would be a good one," your mother tells your father, pride seeping into her voice.

You're not so sure. You can't be sure. At least not yet.

"Yes," your father agrees, with the same fond voice he always had when he didn't want to argue with your mother, and it's easier just to agree.

It seems, just like the foundation of Liyue, that your future is set in stone.

You hope Fontaine will be kind to you.

-x-x-x-x-

You do not have a wedding.

It's actually fine with you. More than fine, really. Apparently as Chief Justice of Fontaine, Neuvillette is well liked and popular. The amount of people you'd have to invite to the wedding would be too many for you.

So you simply don't. You sign a document and in the eyes of the law, and of Neuvillette, that is enough.

Though a part of you aches that you will never have the traditional Liyuen wedding you dreamed of as a child. But you suppose that dreams of childhood should stay there.

You move into Neuvillette's home. Fontaine comes as a culture shock, almost.

The amount of times you get absolutely lost in this fish-bowl of a city manages to astound even you.

It's not your fault, really. Liyue Harbor is easy to navigate, warm and welcoming. In Fontaine, the streets all somehow manage to look the same, though the shops sell things you never even thought of. At some point, you're pretty sure you even see a woman standing outside of a building with a mechanical bird.

You end up seeing other Melusines more than your new husband. You don't really blame him for this, his job is important and needed, so each day he bids you a single "good morning" along with a look you couldn't decipher, as he heads to the Opera House.

That's a whole other thing about Fontaine that you still haven't investigated.

It's not as though you're upset that you don't see Neuvillette often. But he is one of the few people that you know here, and it doesn't take long for you to be lonely in the new city, without any of your friends.

Though you find the Meluine's to be kind. They help you when you get lost, and press small gifts into your palms as they take your hands to lead you around.

They tell you to tell Neuvillette to take some time off work. To spend some time with you. You nod and agree that you'll tell him the next time you see him.

But when the man quickly leaves in the morning and doesn't return until late, you never really get a chance to.

If you didn't know any better, you would have thought he'd been avoiding you.

It's like that for almost a month. He says good morning, disappears, and you wander the city to familiarize yourself with it. He never comes home until the sun has almost set, and night is almost there, while you wander until the rain finally starts for the day.

You asked the Melusine's about it once, commenting that there wasn't so much rain in Liyue. They tell you of the hydro dragon and the tears it cries. You hope that someday you will get to meet this dragon and see what makes them so sad.

At least, it stays like that until it doesn't, as most things tend to do.

You were lost, which wasn't too much of a surprise, but unlike the times before, there were no Melusine's to bring you back home or to a place you knew. The rain had started earlier today, earlier than anyone seemed to expect, and before you knew it, you were huddled in an alley, your clothing absolutely soaked and shivers running down your spine from the wet and the cold.

You missed Liyue. You missed your friends, your parents, you missed the smells and sounds of the harbor. Tears burned in your eyes and mixed with the rain on your cheeks.

Standing there simply isn't going to fix things though, so you eventually left your small, but dry, protection, and decided to finally figure out this city.

Your confidence fades the longer you walk around.

It takes almost two hours of wandering around in the rain until you finally recognize something. Not the path home, but to the first place you ever meet Neuvillette, despite not knowing at the time.

You push open the door. It's late, though that doesn't seem to mean the place is devoid of life. Wrapping shaking arms around yourself, you spot a sliver of light coming from Neuvillette's office.

It felt much too late to be working, but perhaps it was Sedene, fixing up things. Tentatively, you knock on the door, and the faint scratching of a pen against paper suddenly stopped.

Suddenly, this felt like a mistake. You took a single step back, but before you could change your mind and leave, the door swung open and Neuvillette stood there, a look of mild concern on his face.

Neither of you spoke. Neuvillette looks you up and down, brows furrowing, and you realize all at once that you must look like a sight, absolutely soaked and dripping water on the floor. If you weren't so cold, your cheeks would be flushed.

"Why are you here?" he asks, glancing around as though that would provide him with the answer.

Your shoulders slump. You can't really explain why. Maybe it's the disappointment  at the sight of you, or the lack of a warm welcome. Not 'what happened to you' or 'why are you soaking wet' but instead a question that felt almost like he questioning your presence in general.

"I-um," you stutter through chattering teeth, "I got lost and didn't know where to go."

That felt like an understatement of what happened, but you weren't sure how else to answer the question.

Neuvillette didn't seem to know either.

When he didn't say anything more, you shifted from foot to foot, wincing at the cold and the squish of wetness. You'd be lucky if you didn't get sick, after this.

"You got lost?" he finally asks, as though the concept was foreign to him.

You don't know what to say, so you shrug, peering around him. It seemed Sedene had already left for today, and there went your hope for an escort home.

"The streets all look the same to me," you manage, shivering again. "Uh-you can just tell me which way to go, and I'll get out of your hair. I didn't mean to be a bother."

"And why didn't you ask anyone for help? Anyone could have told you where I live."

The question almost comes out cold, for how logical it is. You huff, a small noise of frustration. All you wanted at the moment was to get out of these wet clothes and to be warm again. But it seems that isn't going to happen any time soon.

"Never mind," you murmur, suddenly so tired. Of course he wouldn't understand why you wouldn't want to ask for help. Your Fontainian was still in it's learning stage, and while you could ask a couple of questions with a thick accent, you had no idea how to ask someone to lead you home.

Plus, wouldn't it reflect badly on him, to have a wife who didn't even know how to return home? But you supposed, if it didn't matter to him, then it shouldn't matter to you.

"I'll see you at home, then," you murmur, turning on your heel to leave.

It was the last thing you wanted to do at the moment. The rain seemed to be coming down even harder, you could hear the thunderous roar of rain against the roof as you went to the main door.

A little more rain wouldn't hurt, and you were pretty sure you knew the way home from here.

You step out into the rain, but surprisingly, you don't get any wetter than before. The rain hits something above you, and you glance up to see an umbrella.

Neuvillette stands slightly behind you, umbrella extended over you. You still hadn't stopped shivering, teeth clattering together. Neuvillette almost looks pained as he looks down at you.

"You'll catch your death out here," he says, as though that explains everything.

And then, in true Fontaine fashion, he extends his arm out to you to link your own through, a true and proper escort.

You take it, if only for the stability. And maybe the warmth. And also the umbrella is hardly big enough for two, if you don't stand close, then Neuvillette would get wet as well.

That's the only reason.

He makes quick work of the walk home, and you were almost dismayed by how close you had been the entire time. By the time you walk up the steps, still shivering from  the cold, the rain had finally stopped, the sky clearing to reveal the stars.

"I shall make you something to eat while you dry off," he says, as though it is the law of the land.

You wonder if that is how he sounds in court, when he's trying the cases. You almost want to argue just for the sake of it.

But being dry and having a warm meal sounds much too good to ignore, so you only nod, and go to change your clothes. You debate on taking a bath, the call of the warm water ends up being much too tempting for you.

You emerge feeling like a new person. The water washes away the feelings of the day, and the coldness in your bones. You emerge feeling like a new person, if not a bit more tired and ready for bed than before.

Neuvillette is true to his words. Your hair drips with water as you peek into the kitchen, only to find him sitting at the table, waiting, with two bowls of soup in front of him.

"Come," he says when you don't move forward. You do as asked, sitting beside him and inhaling the rich aroma of the soup.

You had found here that the food varied greatly from what you were used to in Liyue. It certainly wasn't bad, but it was an adjustment. Even the soup was a bit creamier than you were used to, but you ate it eagerly, allowing it to chase away whatever lingering chills the bath hadn't rid you of.

"I'd like to apologize," Neuvillette starts, his own food barely touched, like it's an afterthought for him.

You tilt your head, exhaustion falling over you from the soup and warmth. "For what?"

He looks embarrassed. It's a rather cute look on the normally stoic man. Neuvillette struggles for words, almost seeming to give the words spoken to you the same value that he gives to the court.

"I was not aware that you were struggling to adjust here, I should have foreseen such an event occurring."

He almost looks upset, suddenly. You understand, at least you think you understand. It must be hard having a wife who couldn't even navigate the city of your home.

"It's okay, I'll do better in the future," you reassure, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder as you stand.

It's the first bit of contact you've had since you were married and he placed a kiss upon your cheek at your parents badgering. He looks a bit annoyed though, so you retract your hand to not make him more uncomfortable.

"That's not what I meant. I meant that I should have been here to help you adjust."

"Oh," you say, honestly confused. "it's alright. You're very important here, I don't want to be a bother when you're so busy."

Your words seem to have the opposite of your intended desire. If anything, he looks more upset, leaving you with a rather sour taste in your mouth.

You seemed to be more of an inconvenience than you had even considered.

You hoped this wouldn't turn into an argument. You were tired from wandering and walking for hours, from being caught out in the rain. You rested your head on your hand, trying to think of something to say.

Before your tired mind could think of anything, Neuvillette sighed, a long suffering thing that sounded much older than he must be.

"You should go to bed."

You don't need to be told twice. You take your dish to the sink, leaving it there to be washed by you in the morning. Neuvillette rises, though it seems more to see you off than to actually leave.

"Good night, y/n," he says quietly, still as upset as before.

"Good night, monsieur Neuvillette."

You fall asleep as soon as you're tucked underneath the covers of your bed. You wonder if it's the bed that you're meant to share with your husband, but he never joins you.

And that's fine with you.

-x-x-x-x-

He's still there, in the morning.

It's a sight that makes you freeze coming out of your bedroom, just able enough to peek down the hall and see him in the same place as last night, at the kitchen table. He holds the paper in his hands, the same one that you've seen just about everyone in Fontaine obsessed with.

Did you wake up early? A quick glance at the time told you no, that in fact you had woken up later than normal. Neuvillette was meant to be long gone by now, off to court.

As though sensing your stare, the paper falls, and startling purple eyes lock onto you.

"Ah, you're awake."

You nod, because what else are you going to do? Neuvillette folds the paper back into its  original shape.

"Let me know when you are ready to leave."

Well, you couldn't say you expected that to happen. You nod after a second, before disappearing to get yourself ready.

While you don't look your best, at least you aren't soaked and shaking. Really, the amount of time that you've spent with Neuvillette could be counted on one hand, and you did not like the thought of one of those times being when you were in such a sorry state.

A little bit later, you were back by Neuvillette, looking at him with nothing short of confusion as he prepares to leave.

Oh, the disappointment aches for a moment. Like a child being promised a treat only to have it taken away.

"Well? Come along then."

His voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You take a few, tentative steps forward, until he offers you his hand.

You take it, after a moment, brows furrowed with confusion.

"Don't you have court to attend to?" you ask, as he leads you outside.

"I have sent notice that I will be taking today off. I have recently become aware that my wife needs a tour of Fontaine, and I consider that a much more pressing item on my agenda."

Your cheeks color. You can't tell if it's at being called Neuvillette's wife, or from how he doesn't let go of your hand even when you walk outside.

Before you can ask him if he's sure, if he can really take time off, Neuvillette gestures down the street, and begins what has to be one of the most in depth tours of Fontaine to exist.

This time, getting lost in the sights and sounds is fun. Neuvillette explains every building you pass, the history behind it, and what is happening there now. He lets you pull him in random directions when something catches your eye, and answers every question that you can even think of.

It's fun. Neuvillette is well liked by the people, and suddenly that seems to mean you're well liked as well. The food vendors give you free samples, pressing them into your palm and insisting that you take it despite your protests.

Even the Melusine's stop, chatting with you more than Neuvilllette, much to his surprise. He even comments that you know their names, and seems very ashamed when you point out that you've spent more  time with them instead of him.

You feel like you can actually navigate the city, by the time the sun is setting. Your bones ache from the exhaustion that the excitement has left you with. When Neuvillette notices, he starts herding you home, despite your protests.

The last thing you want is for the day to end. Going back to how it was before seems unbearable now that you know how it could be. If Neuvillette knows of your plight, he says nothing of it.

He simply wishes you a good night, and lets you head to bed.

If it's a dream, you hope that you will remember every detail of it.

-x-x-x-x-

Things don't change after that, much to your relief.

Neuvillette stays in the morning, talking with you sometimes. Most of the time he reads, while you make coffee for yourself, and subsequently him. He likes it with two sugars, no milk.

The information feels nice to have. Especially when, on the very, very rare occasions you wake up before him, you can have a hot cup of coffee waiting for him.

The little things before you grow before anything else. Conversations in the morning. Coffee. Neuvillette bringing you home treats that you love, especially the conch madeleines.

There are other things, as well. When you mention missing a certain dish from Liyue, Neuvillette goes out of his way to procure it for you. You're not sure how he manages to do it, but if it means you can get slow cooked bamboo shoot soup whenever you like, then you're happy not to know.

He comes home earlier, as well. As soon as the case is done for the day, it feels like he's on his way to find you. You're happy to do just that, telling him of everything you managed to do during the day, or whatever else is going on in your head that you want to share.

Neuvillette always listens. And he remembers. You mention once, in an off handed comment, about how beautiful you thought the rainbow roses of Fontaine were.

The next day, you woke up to a bouquet of them at your bedside.

You do your best to return the favor, going to collect him at the Opera house when his day is finished.

When you were younger, you read stories of people falling in love instantly, with a single look and it was easy from there.

You think now, as a married woman, that the stories are wrong. Love comes in the small gestures, in the moments spent together.

-x-x-x-x-

It's pouring rain outside. A heavy downpour that has been going on for the last hour.

It's also the time Neuvillette normally comes home, but it doesn't seem that way today. The change in routine throws you off more than you'd like to admit.

You wait another half hour before you grab your cloak, a heavy thing that Neuvillette insisted on buying you so you wouldn't get soaked in the rain any longer, and head out to the Opera House.

You're not too fond of the aquabuses here. They're faster than walking, but something about them feels so awkwardly slow. But with a bit of tension in your shoulders, you bite down the complaints and make small talk with the Melusine piloting the aquabus as you arrive.

Neuvillette only took you over here once, to show you the Fountain of Lucine. You suppose, on another level, it was also to make sure that you knew where the Opera House was in case you needed him and didn't want to get lost.

You're thankful for his planning.

Everyone else has already left, except for a very dedicated couple by the fountain, praying for blessings upon their child. You wonder if someday that will be you, but dismiss the thought with a blush.

It takes you much too long to find Neuvillette. For a man who cuts such an imposing figure, you wander around in the rain looking for him for much longer than needed. Eventually though, you find him at the back of the Opera House, standing in the rain as though he doesn't notice it.

"Neuvillette?" you call, quiet, as to not startle him. It seems you do so anyways, from how he jumps. "Are you alright?"

He nods, but doesn't speak. You reach out to take a gloved hand, everything about him feels cold.

You lead him back home, and he follows you as though he has no mind for anything else. It takes too long to get home but also not enough time. You hold his hand the entire way.

"Was court today rough?" you finally ask, when you're in the security of your shared home. Neuvillette lets out a hum, not agreeing but not disagreeing either.

You usher him to the bathroom to clean himself up, and go to make something warm, when the irony of the situation hits you all at once, because it must have only been a few months ago that Neuvillette did the same thing for you.

It felt nice to have the roles  switched.

 Neuvillette doesn't seem hungry, so you usher him into your own bed, since truthfully you've been suspicious that he's been sleeping on the couch or at his desk in his office to prevent you from feeling uncomfortable.

You sit down, and urge him to lay his head in your lap. You brush your fingers through his slightly damp hair, and you hum a Liyuen lullaby your mother used to sing to you.

Neuvillette never talks about court. You asked him once and only once about it, curious since everyone in Fontaine seemed to think that the cases were some kind of show. But Neuvillette had simply said that it was very usual, and not worth discussing.

At the time, you took him at his word. Now though, you wonder if it's something more.

"I believe an innocent man was sentenced today," Neuvillette says, after a moment. His voice is so soft, you almost can't hear it under the pouring rain outside.

"Is that so?" you ask, a silent prompt. Does he want to continue? Or leave it there?

He sighs after only a second, pressing further against your hand in his hair. Like a cat seeing attention.

"I'm sure it will be resolved soon, I simply need to investigate things more."

You nod, remaining silent. Neuvillette doesn't explain more, but eventually, as his breathing evens out, the rain comes to a stop outside.

You can't bring yourself to move. It would no doubt wake up Neuvillette, and that seemed like the last thing anyone needed. So you settled amongst the pillows, and close your eyes.

If you wake up tomorrow, still close to another and sleepy limbs tangled together, you said nothing of it. Neither does Neuvillette.

After that though, your bed becomes just the bed, and you're not opposed to that at all.

-x-x-x-x-

The Fountain of Lucine ends up being one of your favorite places in Fontaine. Not for any particular reason, you tell yourself, it's simply pretty to look at.

And that's not a lie. It is pretty to look at, and it's fun to visit and listen to expecting parents wish for good things for their children. It was nice to see the sights and sounds without the hustle and bustle of the city.

The first time you end up going out though, you can't say you had the most pleasant experience.

You had gotten the idea in your head, perhaps you were too bored lately, that you should visit Neuvillette at work and bring him lunch. So you packed a small bag, and made the journey.

Only to be stopped at the entrance of the Opera House by one of the gardes.

"Court is in session, no one is allowed in, miss, without a ticket."

Your head tilts to the side, truly puzzled. A ticket? People bought tickets to court, as though it was a show?

"I'm not going to see the court, I came to drop something off for Neuvillette," you explain to the man, holding up the small box.

The man eyes it with a bit of suspicion, and part of you almost wants to ask if he really thinks you've poisoned it. Another part of you is sure that if you ask, you will absolutely get accused of that.

"That's nice, miss, but you still can't go in. I'm sure you know monsieur Neuvillette has many admirers, and we can't stop court simply because you wish to give him a gift."

Wow. You weren't even sure how to unpack that. You crossed your arms over your chest, not budging.

"I am his wife, here to bring him lunch. Do you want to explain to Neuvillette tomorrow about how you banned his wife from visiting him.?"

The man, you still haven't even gotten his name yet, isn't looking at you any more. He's looking behind you, a look of mild panic on his face.

Oh, this was going to be just like one of those soap operas back in Liyue, wasn't it? You knew without looking who was going to be there.

"Monsieur Neuvillette!" he said, giving the salute of Fontaine. "I was just telling this young woman that we do not allow visitors during court."

"That is true," Neuvillette says, you can almost hear a bit of smile in his voice. "However, I think I can make an exception for my wife. Thank you though, I will handle it from here."

The man scurries away before you can say anything. If he had a tail, it would have been between his legs.

"I think you scared him," you said, turning to your husband.

You ignore your racing heart at hearing Neuvillette call you his wife for the first time. You couldn't stop the smile from spreading on your face though.

"I think if anyone scared him between the two of us, my dear, it was you," he muses, and yes, it is amusement you can hear in his voice.

You two stand there, smiling at each other for a moment before you remember just why you made the journey out here.

"Oh, I brought you lunch." You place the small package in his hand. "I'm sure you're busy here and I wanted to make sure you were eating. I didn't know I needed a ticket to get inside. How did you know I was here?"

"Ah, Aeife told me you had arrive, and I suspected that you would encounter a problem."

He gestures to the side, and sure enough, the small Melusine is there. She gives you a wave before going back to skipping and offering help to those who need it

"She's sweet."

"She is," Neuvillette agrees. "I think most of them like you more than me."

"Who wouldn't like me?"

The smile Neuvillette gives you almost makes you blush, but you barely manage to get a hold of yourself.

"Yes, they'd be fools not to like you."

And now you were blushing. You gently swatted Neuvillette's arm, and only received a chuckle for your antics.

"Thank you," Neuvillette says, genuinely. "I must return now, but I appreciate the thought."

A tiny sliver of disappointment ran through you, but you pushed it down, nodding your head. "Of course, of course. Don't let me keep you. Off you go now."

You made a little shooing motion, the smile on your face letting him know you were simply teasing. But he didn't leave.

"Any time you wish to come and see me, there will always be a ticket waiting for you at the booth." He gestures to the sales booth, which very much looked closed, but you didn't say that. "I'll be sure to tell you the next time Lyney and Lynette do their show."

You visibly perked up, which gained you a small chuckle. You hadn't been shy about saying you wanted to see the show, though apparently it was impossible to find tickets to it.

"Thank you, I'll be sure to take you up on that."

You stood up on your tip toes, pressing a brief kiss to his cheek. He seems surprised at the touch, but after a moment manages to compose himself, saying a quick goodbye before returning to work.

Aefie tugged at your skirt, a gentle motion almost as soft as a breeze. You knelt down to her level, allowing her to whisper in your ear.

"Thank you for making Neuvillette so happy."

-x-x-x-x-

You fell a lot, as a child, as all children do.

Scraped knees and bruised elbows. What is childhood without a few injuries? Without those precious moments that make them realize oh, sometimes life has pain.

The first time you heard of the concept of "falling in love" you had thought it was like that. Falling on the ground and bruising your knees.

Now though, you think it is something else. Like the feeling of falling into a warm bed at the end of a long day.

Neuvillette is already in bed tonight, laying on his side facing where you normally lay. You tip toe over to the bed, just in case he's already fallen asleep.

He hasn't though, and your eyes meet his vivid purple ones as you lay down, facing him as well.

"I thought you were asleep," you murmur. Tentatively, you reached for him, only to have him meet you halfway. Your fingers laced together with his.

"I was waiting for you."

Such a simple declaration is enough to make you blush. A year of marriage and he still managed to make you blush.

"I'm here now."

Something changes in his eyes, and he looks at you, so, so, fond. "You are here."

You both lay there, either unwilling or unable to fall asleep, feeling so close but somehow still so far away. It's one of the nights when the rain isn't falling. When you first came to Fontaine, it felt as though the rain never stopped, but now it's only occasionally.

"You never answered my question, you know."

Neuvillette frowns for a moment, thinking. You take pity on him before he can worry if he made you upset.

"I asked if you were kind," you murmur, gentle.

It felt like ages ago, talking to a stranger without knowing who they were. Neuvillette looks at you, waiting, knowing you weren't finished.

You had been so worried about everything. And though Sedene had told you, you didn't know if you could believe it or not.

"And what have you found?" Neuvillette asks. His voice is small, as though he's actually afraid of how you might answer.

You don't hesitate.

"You are," you whisper. You inch closer, knees brushing against his own. "You are so, so kind."

He kisses you. Lips sliding against your own, slotting there as though they were meant to be there. And desperately, with almost a full year of longing in you, you kiss back.

You're breathless by the time that he pulls back. He looks the same, and for the first time you see a small blush on his cheeks.

"I love you," he whispers, a reverent noise just for you.

You smile, leaning in to kiss him again.

"I love you too."

[tales-from-elysivm]

Can you do some headcanons or stories on arcane? Specifically Vi or Sevika if your comfortable. I was just wondering but if you don't want to then you don't have to, you have free will.

Know that you're loved!

★。／ !bark like you want it! ＼。★

pairing: vi x f!reader, sevika x f!reader (separate)

fandom: arcane

word count: 1,470

tw: canon typical swearing/slang, some light spoiler warnings, and MDNI content, mainly because we know these are some dominant ass women ;) 

THIS IS NSFW CONTENT! BE WARNED!

song title: bark like you want it by sir mix-a-lot

notes: i love my girl vi so this request was a given, thank you anon! Hope you enjoy! :D I normally didn't like Sevika as much, but I will admit, writing her head canons for this post definitely made me reconsider

! be sure to like and reblog if you enjoyed !

↳˗ˏviˎ˗ ↴

Vi is (without a doubt) very rough around the edges

She’s street-smart but she doesn’t really know what to do when it comes to actual romantic relationships, sex is easy, feelings are hard 

Her time in Stillwater makes her distrustful of people, along with her generally traumatic and difficult childhood, so it will probably take a while for her to begin to see you in a less-than-threat way

After that things are pretty smooth

You don’t really know where the split between ‘friendship’ and ‘relationship’ is, because they both include her joking, flirtatious personality ranging from skirting touches on your thighs and up your back, or teasing pet names like ‘sweetheart’, ‘cupcake’ and ‘love’

Other than that she’s very protective of you, especially if you live in Zaun

If you go out on errands she’ll always make sure she’s conveniently there at the times you like to go, able to loop an arm around your waist and guide you through the crowds

If someone is stupid enough to try and pull something on either one of you, Vi is not above beating the shit out of someone to keep them from laying a hand on you

I have a feeling that she’d confess to you accidentally in the middle of a fight

Perhaps she had been disappearing for long periods of time, and coming back bloodied and injured, refusing to tell you anything of her adventures (mainly because she doesn’t want to worry you). And eventually you pester her for a bit too long and begin a full verbal fight, where she suddenly blurts that she loves you

Now as a lover?

The teasing banter still remains, her little playful nicknames too, if anything they get worse. But she gets more confident with her touches, more deliberate. A hand in your backpocket while you’re walking, an arm around your shoulder, pinching your ass when you’re waiting outside a store, this girl has no shame

! mdni content below !

Now, i have a feeling that Vi isn’t really uneducated when it comes to sex

If anything i feel like she’s a fast learner-

The first time you actually lie together, Vi is sure to take it at your own pace, eager to please beneath a taunting smile, even if you don’t know what you like at first, she’s likely to find it quickly 

I personally don’t see Vi as owning too many sex toys - if any at all - but i think she would 100% favour using her fingers to anything else

Just the way you clench down on them, how she can use the rough calluses on the pad of her thumb on your clit to her advantage, and how deep she can pry, anything to make you scream for her

To be honest? I also 10000% expect her to try and flip you over and put you in a chokehold with her forearm tight against your throat, just adding enough delicious pressure to hitch your breath, but never enough to hurt too much

9/10

Her oral game would be fucking good too, i can tell. But she’d probably prefer to finger you or use a strap-on so she can continue to tease you with all these sinful little things she can come up with while she fucks into you

I’d say more of a biter, but she can still eat you out like a starving woman

Oral game 7/10

Aftercare is important to her, always making sure that she wasn’t too rough with you, cleaning you up, running you a bath or just lying with you to cuddle. Wants to make sure you know that you’re more important to her than some casual fling, and that she wants to ensure your happiness above anything

(Also gives you some balm for the definite bruises on your thighs and throat :D)

↳˗ˏsevikaˎ˗ ↴

Sevika is… intense

In all honesty, probably started as enemies

She probably wouldn’t want anything to do with you unless you already worked with Silco, so we could say you started in the shimmer warehouses, helping to distribute it throughout Zaun

You get your work done effectively, so Sevika overall sees you as a valuable position in the business, and keeps you around without much complaint

At some point Silco requested you deliver a hefty batch of shimmer to a more dangerous part of the Undercity, and sent Sevika with you to ensure no messes were left behind

Safe to say, you were ambushed

Despite Sevika being there to ‘protect’ you, you’re still able to hold your own, displaying proficient skill with your weapons against bandits who thought they could steal some of the shimmer vials. In the carnage, Sevika decides begrudgingly that she has respect for you

From there, it’s less of a ‘friendship’ and more of a drinking buddy situation

She doesn’t often tolerate the presence of others in her private time, so you label it as a friendship initially

She’s slightly more soft-spoken when she’s alone with you, and shares her cigars with you while she’s gambling, which often earns a strange look from her opponents as you hover over her mechanical shoulder with her cigar hanging from between your lips to see her hand, a bit too close

But Sevika lets you be without anything more than a bit of a grumble

I don’t think she’d even particularly say outright that she loves you

What happens is - instead - that you both have a drinking binge at the pub one night, after a successful night of gambling, and you both get absolutely shit-faced

While drunk she drags you back to her house and the night is filled with hazy sex, enthusiastic makeouts and early-morning cigarette smoke

You try to sneak out the next morning, expecting it to only be a one-night thing

She catches you (i headcanon that she’s a pretty light sleeper, but i suppose that could be said for most Zaunites). I don’t think she’d even say it then, just drag your ass back to bed for a (consensual) round two

After that you go to the bar together as normal, go about your business, now with the added bonus of Sevika protectively snarling at a drunk guy hitting on you by saying ‘that’s my spouse, fuck off’

(And of course, with plenty of sneaky sex between your deliveries and hurried makeouts :D)

! mdni content below !

BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELTS MFS, THIS SHIT IS KINKY

I would like to clarify, you will never top in this situation, Sevika would rather die than bottom to anyone, no matter how much she loves you

Spanking, spanking, spanking, spanking–

Hickeys, bruises, bite marks, the red tracks of her nails over your back, just anything that would leave even the most fleeting mark on your skin

That being said, would also 100% leave hickeys on places she knows you can’t hide easily

Definitely into sex toys (ball gags, bondage, strap ons and vibrators with little remotes she can keep in her pocket just in case, she especially likes to plant down one of those dildos with the suction cups and get you to ride it, all the while begging for her to just touch you, but she refuses, smoking as she watches you cry out for her)

She also likes crying-

I think she’d prefer to have you from behind, your back against her chest, ramming into you with one of her favourite straps, one hand pinching at your nipples, tweaking them between her fingers, and the other rolling tight circles on your clit, sometimes switching one out to wrap around the column of your throat

Definitely into edging on most days, and will resort to overstim if she’s happy with the work you’ve done in the day

Risky sex is definitely her thing, in her office in Silco’s base, in the warehouse on the crates of shimmer, under her desk, you on your knees to service her

She’s especially rough, and absolutely loves some degradation, and the way it makes you clench around her strap or her fingers, your eyes rolling back into your head while you scream for her

Aftercare is rarely over-the-top

She’ll cuddle you if you ask her explicitly but she prefers to share a cigar with you, or blowing smoke into your open mouth while you breathe against her bare chest

If she’s been unable to fuck you for some time, she’ll clean you up after about four or five rounds, mainly by eating you out until you end up giving her another two, but she’ll make sure you’re clean before you pass out anyway

Despite everything, Sevika will always make sure she doesn’t go to far

If anyone asks though, she will absolutely deny how she always makes sure you remember your safeword before you have sex after a makeout

thanks for the request anon!

if you have any more requests don't hesitate to ask :)

[minhosimthings]

Backstage Notoriety

Synopsis: Chan trying to shush you, as you try not to alert the rest of the boys about what you're doing backstage

Pairings: Bang Chan × Soloist!fem!reader

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, fingering, overstimulation, Degradation (like only a little), praise, gagging kink, necklace is used as a gag, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), pregnancy joke, angry sex, rough sex

A/N: ITS YO GIRL MONA BACK WITH ANOTHER SMUT YALL WOOOHOOOOO I really like this for some reason I had fun writing it. Also Chan has got me in a chokehold rn I NEED THIS MAN TO BREED ME. And yes this is me procrastinating on my ongoing wip.

Dating a fellow idol was something you never thought you'd do in your entire life but here you were. Staring at your boyfriend dancing with the rest of his kids members and watching all his Stays with bedroom eyes. To say you were jealous was an understatement. A very great understatement, that is.

Being a soloist was a lonely job, with the one exception being that you didn't need to follow a packed schedule like other groups did. You could just sit back after your stage, and stare at everyone's outfits backstage, as you wait for your boyfriend to take you home and fuck you into oblivion. Yet as you watched your boyfriend show off his waist in a crop top your favourite colour, you couldn't help but want him to notice you. Stupid horny teenager coded feelings right?

"Haneul how much time till they finish?" You asked your manager who was packing up your things. She looked over at you and smiled. "Just another minute or so Y/N be patient you'll see him soon enough." She bent down and kissed your head "I'm going home alright? Tell Minho where I went or he'll go crazy. You'll come with Chan or should I tell a car to wait?" You shook your head at her. "I'll come with him don't worry. You should worry about Minho though he's gonna go mental when he finds out you left without him." Haneul let out a laugh and patted your shoulder before quickly walking out the door, leaving you all alone.

The sound of thunderous applause startled you, as you saw your boyfriend quickly walking down the stage, seven kids following him like penguins. The first one to enter the room was your boyfriend, suprisingly not covered in sweat and fashioning a towel round his neck. His face was not without happiness as he caught his eye on you and strode over, making adorable grabby hands.

"Baby!" he hugged you tightly, as you did everything in your power to stay mad at him, "Next time I'll make sure they arrange our shows right after one another. I can't stand not being with you for so long." "hmm" you hummed in response, not reciprocating the hug as you usually did. The rest of the members had entered the room by then and you spotted Minho frantically searching for his phone. "Haneul went home Minho." you cried at him, successfully catching his attention as he looked at you with widened eyes, "Don't worry, she's probably waiting for you."

"Oh alright." Minho said, plopping down onto the sofa, "Thanks for the message." You smiled gently at him, and turned to pick up your phone, when warm arms wrapped around your waist, making you freeze in your spot. The offer to sink into Chan's embrace was a tempting one, one that would effectively ruin your plan. "Did I do something wrong baby?" you heard Chan's voice whisper in your ear, tone akin to one he'd use for a child. You were being childish after all.

"Just tired Chan. I need to get home alright?", you briefly responded, wiggling away from his embrace. "I'll drop you off to the car." Chan responded, wrapping an arm around your waist so tightly that you couldn't protest, "I left something in my dressing room anyway so we can just get that on the way hm?" His tone worried you slightly. It was unlike the lovey-dovey one he usually used with you. Lovey? yes. Dovey? Definitely not.

The silence between you and Chan was too loud as both of you walked to Chan's dressing room, which was relatively near the exit point. His stare remained in front of him, not even a glance at you. You, on the other head, were trapped in his hold on your waist. It was tight. Too tight. The Pain kink comes in handy though right?.

"You really thought ignoring me would do anything baby?" Chan suddenly spoke up, when you reached the door to his dressing room. You shuddered as he pushed you against the door, one hand on the doorknob, the other holding your chin to him. "Chan-" "Nuh uh baby." He glared, "You're gonna pay for this."

Chan bombarded your lips with his and kissed you with every inch of pain in him. You would have melted into the kiss had it not been for Chan opening the doorknob and pushing you in.

"Wearing this cute little outfit and ignoring me." Chan mumbled in between the messy kiss, "Stupid little girl aren't you?" You gasped for air as Chan slid his fingers down your panties. You decided to give your stylist a bag of chocolates the next day, for giving you such an accessible dress.

"Ah Chan!" You shout out as Chan moves his fingers around your pussy, touching you exactly at all the spots he knew you adored. Chan slowly pulled off your underwear and threw it on the floor before pulling you into another kiss, fingers still racing across your cunt. His other hand reached up almost automatically to your hair, gripping it hard. You moaned into the kiss at his touch on your scalp as your hands quickly undid his trousers.

He’s rough. Good god, he’s fucking rough. His cock stretches you open deliciously, slamming into the deepest parts of you. The slick sounds of your dripping arousal fill the room with every violent thrust. You were sure your already short dress was about to get shorter as Chan kept such a firm grip on them, feeling the fabric twisting in between his fingers. With Chan continuing to fuck you, It’s almost impossible to keep yourself quiet at a time like this.

“J-Jesus,” you gasp, “holy fuck, Channie, y-you, fuck, you feel so fucking hot.” Your voice wavers in pitch and volume. Chan maintains a brutal pace, which you could swear he does on purpose. He lets out a gruff chuckle.

"It's Channie now is it baby?" He mocks you, "Fucking you so good you can't even speak can you?"

You let out a loud yelp when you feel his hand give your ass a hard slap. You jerk forward, shuddering on his cock. You can feel his towering frame lean over you, pulling you up by the shoulders, gathering you to his chest. He puts his fingers in your mouth, silencing your cries of lust.

You suck on his fingers, moans bubbling in your throat as Chan pistons his hips. It’s almost embarrassing how much you like the feeling of Chan using you like his personal doll.

“Babe,” Chan slows down. “As much as I love hearing what I do to you…” he gently maneuvers you, flipping you to look into your eyes. His hand tucks a piece of hair the fell onto your face behind your ear. His hand cups your cheek, the sweetness of his actions causes your mind to run wild with what kind of degenerate, devious plans he has in store for you. He reaches over to his neck and slowly unclasped the metal chain decorating it ever so wonderfully. "You're way too loud darling.”

"Open your mouth for me darling." He cooes at you as he shoves the necklace into your mouth. You wince in pain as the cold metal hits your tongue. Chan stares at you with an amused look on his face. "That's my good girl." He praises, giving a sudden thrust, which makes you widen your eyes.

You make a muffled cry for more, your soft and loud moans were music to his ears. He breathed heavily along with you as held onto your hips tightly. Skin smacking echoed in the room and you heard his soft groan which sent you coming. He groans louder as you clench around him.

Thankfully, Chan didn’t argue or get you to beg for his cock any more as he jolted his hips into you. “Always so loud aren't you darling?”, he scolded light-heartedly under his breath.

“Cha- Channie no more,” you plead with the necklace muffling your tone, tossing your head back onto the wall, hips bucking up into his despite your words. Chan growls, pushing you down by your stomach and blanketing your body with his own and pressing your knees almost up to your tits.

“You can take it, my dove, I promise,” the words come out choked, hoarse, but you wither under them nonetheless. The necklace had been laying down on the floor, having been detached from your mouth a long time ago. You can feel his cock pulsing deep inside your walls, seed almost spilling out from your entrance from his last two orgasms. You’re sure he’s overstimulated beyond belief, just like you, but he just can’t seem to stop.

“Wait, don’t cum yet; I’m so close, don’t cum”, you begged , not entirely wanting it to end just yet. Chan gasped, his mouth opening wide as his eyes did the opposite as they clenched shut as he concentrated on fucking you and not having another orgasm.

It doesn’t take long to feel the first flutterings of that eye-wateringly beautiful sensation between your legs as you quickly stammer, “I’m cumming! Fuck!”. Chan’s legs nearly gave out underneath him, hearing your sweet words.

As your pussy contracted in wet bursts around him, Chan released every drop of cum inside of his body, deep into your walls so that you could feel yourself becoming full and it beginning to drip out as it became too much. His thrusts slowed to a stop as you both slumped against the wall, bodies covered in a thin line of sweat.

"You alright honey?" He mumbled into your neck as he holds you tightly in his arms. "I'm good." You simply respond, cradling in Chan's warm muscles. Chan quickly deposits your weak figure on the divan before rushing off to find a towel and a change of clothes.

"I'm sorry Channie." You mumble, feeling your face turn red as Chan puts your shoes back on. He looks up at you with an amused expression and hums. "It's alright darling." He chuckles, "My jealous little baby." You slap his arm playfully as he gets you up slowly and walks you to the door, this time the grip on your waist being a comforting one.

"I wonder if your cum took or not." You blurt out. Chan looks at you with widened eyes before giggling. "You wouldn't really have to get used to being called mom do you? What with your seven adopted kids." "Our seven adopted kids." You correct him as he blushes and kisses you on the forehead.

"Seven kids who are probably wondering what their mom and dad have been doing backstage."

[sunnie-writes]

cupid's chokehold.

pairing: jax x cupid!gn!reader

tags & tropes: fluff, shameless flirting, fell first/fell harder

summary: you were absolutely confused because of two things: one, you got transported to a random dimension and became a totally different person, gaining the title of a cupid, and two, you had fallen in love at first sight with the most sarcastic purple rabbit man ever. well, at least you didn't felt like complaining on the second part.

tell me, sunnie!!: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA... anyways, hiiiii:3 i got a new fandom added to my brain, injected it into my veins and now i am addicted. so, this funky little guy didn't actually catch my attention at first but then i watched some edits and was like "HMMMMMM i mean yeah sure" and then i decided to check tumblr, stumbled on a fic of him and went "OH. OH." yk?? anyways, i hope you guys enjoy this bc i wrote it instead of sleeping and i have to wake up early tomorrow el oh el!!1!1!1!1

warnings?: kissing, suggestive(?) i mean it's just neck biting but idk........

first of all, you don't know how the hell you are... here, nor why you've been stuck in this place for two weeks already.

it's a colorful world, saturated to the maximum amount possible. you know, the type to burn your eyes if you stare at a specific spot for too long. it also looked like some kind of fever dream, with all the toys scattered and the way different people? characters? looked like.

not like you can say much, you have heart shaped pupils and you're wearing something that looks like an ancient greece tunic. also, sandals. you have these big feathered white wings that are a pinkish hue at the tip of every single feather. you tried pulling one out to see if it was actually real, resulting in a yelp from your mouth. it kinda hurts.

and that reaction caused a chuckle to come from someone who has your eyes dedicated to just admiring them.

frankly speaking, if you went back and told your past self that by putting those weird vr headset glasses on you would be signing up to falling for a tall and lanky purple rabbit with a yellow smile, you would probably just chuckle and still do it, but with even more determination than before. eh, what can you say? you've always been attracted to the weirdest characters anyways.

but this... this was real, he was real and he was talking to other real weird animated people. ragatha rambled next to you about... honestly, you didn't even know, too busy watching from afar a certain rabbit. this was the start to possibly one of your most frustrating crushes ever.

"[name]? are you okay? you seem more distracted today?" she worriedly asked, putting her hand on your shoulder, "you shouldn't think too much about trying to find an exit if that's what you're thinking about, you might get abs-"

"huh? no, i wasn't thinking about that!" you quickly hurried to give an explanation, trying to dismiss that idea from her, but your eyes darted again to the overall wearing guy and she followed your gaze.

she slowly moved her head back at you after seeing what you were so... distracted about. a smirk broke in her face.

"oooh, little [nickname] has a cruuush?" ragatha teased you.

"wha- no- that's not-" before you could continue, your flushed cheeks got even more red as you saw him approaching. you immediately shut your mouth and just looked at the floor, trying to quickly hide your face

"sup', what are you two gossiping about today?" jax spoke in a mocking, sultry tone that had melting down a drain... not literally though.

"oh, nothing. you know, just the usual!" ragatha quickly tried to hide that topic from him, trying to distract or something. play it cool!

"uh-huh, and why is little cupid over here heating up like a preheated oven?" you almost choked on spit before looking at him with furrowed eyebrows and slightly flushed cheeks.

"none of your business, jax, don't bring your teasing and mocking over to [name]!"

"aww, why not?" jax dropped his hand on your shoulder, "say, little cupid, i heard doll face over here mentioning a crush, who do ya' have the hots for?"

your mind instantly went to answer "you" internally z meanwhile, your lips just answered in an almost quiet sound.

"i'm not telling you."

"huh, and why is that?" he leaned in close, and suddenly you felt absurdly claustrophobic.

he looks so... absurdly attractive with that smirk. you wish you could wipe it off of his face.

"because..." it doesn't take too long to come up with an excuse, you're an overthinker who is always prepared for this kind of situation, "you would mock me for it, and i don't feel like getting bullied by a purple beanpole."

"gasp, you wound me with your hateful words!" he dramatically posed, meanwhile ragatha chuckled in the background. "how can a cupid, made of pure love, be this mean?"

you just lightly punched him in the arm at that.

---

night time seemed like a blur to you in this world. sleep? never heard of that.

it's been a month already and your crush hasn't faltered. instead, it got bigger each day, but to be fair, it was impossible for it to not grow. jax decided that, for some reason, he liked teasing you a bit too much since he found out you might have a crush on someone.

playful flirting seemed to be his favorite to use on you, since you just tried your best to not show how it actually affected you. honestly, you felt like some kind of cliche teenager movie where you're about to write his name on a notebook with hearts all around it.

and that felt too cheesy, even for a cupid.

---

oh my stars, he wishes it's him.

you know, at first when you arrived at the digital circus, jax paid no mind to you. i mean, yeah, you were probably the cutest person in this digital purgatory, but he didn't think that he could fall for anyone in here, this isn't some weird sitcom episode. but it was starting to get difficult to not let him lose himself in a romantic trance when you were around.

he wonders if you used anything on him that could've possibly made him slowly fall for you, hard.

in the second week, he began noticing things about you. for example, you laughed at his jokes and sarcastic personality, got irritated for his pranks but never screamed at him, just shrugging it off like normally, you didn't even care when he stole something from your room.

it was mind breaking to just try and see what could get a reaction out of you towards him. until it was revealed that you had a crush on someone in that place.

jax isn't dumb, he already caught you looking at him from afar just to fastly change your gaze and get flustered, how your hands trembled when you were near him, heart eyes expanding when he talked to you. so, just to test if his theory was real, he decided to leave a subtle flirt for you. and that was checkmate.

he thought at first that it was weird, that maybe he could just play with you a little bit and entertain your little crush on him. but then, the spell turned against him. you flirted back once, and that made him feel awfully fuzzy minded. now, he was the one staring at you from afar sometimes.

that wasn't in his plans, falling for you even harder than you fell for him wasn't supposed to happen. yet, it did anyway.

and now the realization dawned on him that, at some point, he's going to have to either confess or simply hide that for forever, since that's the time they're gonna be stuck in the same dimension together. how fun, isn't it?

---

your feet took you outside of the tent, as everybody was now sleeping comfortably in their own rooms. well, at least you thought they were. stepping onto the grass and breathing in some fresh air, you looked up, waved at the sun and the moon, who smiled back at you contently. then you finally sat down and layed on the saturated green ground, looking up at the fake stars.

you sighed heavily, trying to distract your worried mind that screamed about wanting to get out and at the same time never wanting to leave. it was downright confusing, and left you with pent up energy that made your brain go 100/mph.

you heard footsteps behind you, looking up just to meet with a yellow smile and cartoonish eyes. you immediately gulped as his smirk grew.

"heyyy little cupid, what are you doing here so late?" he questioned you with a lower tone of voice before sitting down by your side. you immediately sat up too.

"just... thinking about some stuff." not losing any chance, you tried to start a conversation. "what about you?"

"meh, just bored and couldn't sleep." jax then looked at you in the eyes. "what could you possibly be thinking about?"

"ah, you know... just the usual!" you tried to quickly change topics, you didn't feel like traumadumping on anyone today nor did you feel like telling him that he's the reason you didn't abstract yet.

"and, does the usual involve your secret little crush?"

your breathe hitches, "why are you so curious about who i like?"

"i just am, it's interesting to see your reactions when i mention them." he leaned down, holding his head with his hand as he still stared at you. "why don't you tell me who it is? i'm starting to get the wrong idea that it's me since you refuse to speak about the mystery person to me."

you think you just felt your heart stop. your eyes go wide and you can feel the heat coursing through your body, blood rushing and flushing your cheeks. you know what? okay then, since there is no escape from this situation, might as well finish the night with a bang before you leave to sleep.

"that's... not the wrong idea at all." you confessed, watching as his eyes went wide in a millisecond.

"what." he spoke before sitting up and grabbing your shoulders. "you're not fucking with me, are ya?"

you shook your head while embarrassingly looking to the floor, feeling frustration pooling in your head.

"no, i'm not. i like you jax, i like your stupid pranks, your stupid jokes, your mischievous smile, your ey-" you were cut off by lips meeting with yours.

as your current situation settled in your mind, you got yourself comfortable and closes your eyes, lacing your arms around his neck and pulling him even closer before you two fell back again, you under him. your stomach was doing backflips, breaking down at the feeling of being reciprocated.

when you finally broke apart, your heart eyes were absurdly big, staring at him while you panted for air. he chuckled at your face, giving a big smile while himself was actually melting at finally having you in his arms. jax laid his head on between your neck and your shoulder. you petted his head, until you felt something.

he was biting your neck, leaving love bites and hickeys behind.

first of all, you didn't even knew if he could open his mouth, but apparently he could (?). you couldn't think much of it, too busy holding back an embarrassing whimper. you held his head and tried not to close your legs around his waist as he continued to bite.

he pulled back, looking at you with a smirk and raised eyebrows.

"well, look what a mess i've done, darlin'. how do ya' feel?"

you couldn't even answer, feeling absolutely overwhelmed by his hand on your waist, the knee resting between your legs and your mind slowly losing it's control. instead of an answer, you just pulled him down for another kiss.

yeah, you probably were enjoying that, but jax? ha! in his mind, he was melting down a drain, patting himself in the back for the idea of deciding to take a night walk and accidentally seeing you. he grinned into the french kiss, feeling absurdly high at the moment.

he wasn't sure how everyone would react to you finally being his, not that he cared about their opinion, but he thinks if would be funny to see their faces. he can't wait for it to happen, but now it's not time to think about that.

it's time for him to think on how to calm his rapidly beating heart that might give you the hint that he loves you way more than you love him.

tell me, sunnie!!: AAAAA i finished writing this only the next day, sorry if it's too short btw!! i know it missed a lot and should have more things but it was rlly rushed bc i want to write more of him <\33 but yeah, thank you for reading sunshine!!

[roseykat]

KINKTOBER DAY 4 - JEONGIN

TITLE: Weeding out the weak

PAIRING: Jeongin x reader

SUMMARY: After almost two weeks of Jeongin not allowing you to touch yourself, greed forces you to cave which only leads you to be caught by him in his bed trying to get yourself off. Despite pleading with Jeongin for him to fuck you, he finds a better solution by only giving you half of what you want.

WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won't be able to regulate/monitor every single potential interaction with these posts so please do not engage with my work and page whatsoever.

TAGS: slightly mean dom-Jeongin, sub-reader, ruined orgasm, female masturbation, fingering, swearing, begging.

KINKTOBER23 - MASTERLIST

KINK: Voyuerism

TAGLIST: @kbitties @luneskies @mal-lunar-28 @kibs-and-bits @aaasia111 @fairy-lixie @dreamingaboutjisung @lizzekat

Jeongin is not a very tortuous person. He doesn’t ever actively go out of his way to make you upset and never would in the future. But this time, he had done it. You had reached a limit you never thought he would bring out of you and it all started with a bit of teasing.

It was just an innocent night out with Jeongin at a club and restaurant which quickly escalated into a steamy round of bathroom sex at the back. Jeongin was pissed that you had him so riled up enough to fuck you in public that he decided to put one rule in place for you to learn your lesson; no touching. 

He wasn’t going to touch you and you weren’t allowed to touch yourself in place of that. For how long was the real question that you started asking yourself when it had been a full week of no sexual contact whatsoever.

But that’s the dynamic between you and Jeongin. You both love slotting into your roles of dom and sub here and there and that rule just happened to be part of it. 

It was a painful mistake to think it was going to be easy without being touched or not being able to touch yourself. But that was after the fact that your sex drive had been satiated by getting railed by Jeongin. In the days after, the urge began creeping up whenever you felt horny, and Jeongin managed to take advantage of it.

He fed into your needs by getting handsy with you; groping your tits around the house, smacking your ass as you walked past him, kissing your neck from behind. But not anything more other than that, and it was frustrating.

"Why can't you fuck me?" You would ask him earlier into the second week.

"I told you," Jeongin started. "No touching until I say so."

"Surely you can now, it's been more than a week," you pleaded.

"No."

"Then can I please touch myself at least?" you questioned. "I need it so bad."

"Then you should've thought about it prior to acting up last week," Jeongin responds sharply.

As a result of the harsh reinforcement of his rule and words, it's led you into a state of being completely starved for touch. Sex had been on your mind a lot more than usual, specifically, the things that Jeongin has done to you in the past. It was almost like detoxing from him entirely.

However, up until now, when you're in bed watching a movie while Jeongin is out with friends, you still think about it. The fact that the film you're watching is relatively raunchy, doesn't help the circumstance that you're in.

It forces you to think about Jeongin - his cock, the way that he fucks, his fingers, his warm, wet mouth. A moan slips past your mouth just thinking about it. The invisible chokehold that he has around you begins to loosen when the idea of touching yourself slips into the cracks of your conscience.

'What Jeongin doesn’t know won't hurt him' is the phrase you tell yourself when your hand starts slipping down the front of your underwear. 

There’s a wash of relief that you feel, the split second your fingers reach your clit, already gathering the wet slick that has started up from thinking about Jeongin. Your thoughts run rabid, tracing back to the times where Jeongin has fucked you so good. 

“Jeongin…” you mutter to yourself, eyes fluttering closed as you pick up the speed of your fingers. 

With the whole house to yourself, you have free reign to be as loud as you like - which is usually the case if Jeongin were with you. But there was something deliciously dirty about getting off while he wasn't there. Maybe it was the fact that you were completely breaking the one rule he had for you, or maybe it was the thought of potentially being caught.

Regardless of the matter, Jeongin knew that both were the case when he arrived back home early. He even announced himself as he walked in through the door, but your moans seemed to drown his voice out that you had no clue he was back.

His ear picked up the faint, muted sounds coming from the bedroom and proceeded to investigate with the inkling in the back of his mind that he knew what it was. Jeongin could see the glow of the TV from the slightly ajar door, but the sounds became much clearer when he pinpointed your moans.

"Mmm, fuck Jeongin, please..."

His throat ran dry for a few seconds. So this is what you look like when you're all alone and touch yourself? Jeongin needed to watch you like this more often; vulnerable, horny, helpless, and needy.

So he stood there, watching you for a good few moments where you progressively became more vocal and frenetic with your movements. He himself can't not feel horny when he sees you like this, so just when he thinks you're about to reach the very tip-top of your orgasm, Jeongin swings the door open.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

Your hand retracts away from your clit, so startled that the wave of pleasure you were building yourself up towards dissipates as fast as you could possibly comprehend that Jeongin was standing at the door. With your heart pounding against your chest, there’s a few seconds where you both look at each other, dead in the eye only for you to realise that he is actually standing there. 

“I…I thought you were out,” you stammer, hoping desperately that what you’re doing isn’t what it seems to him. 

“I was,” Jeongin answers. “And now I’m back. So I’ll ask again, what are you doing?” 

You sit up, still panting and fed up, “I’m horny so I don’t care about your stupid rule anymore. You haven’t touched me properly in two weeks and I haven’t been allowed to touch myself either, I’m done with it.”

Jeongin feels a slight tinge of guilt, but he doesn’t show it in his expression. He may have gone overboard with pressing up behind you at certain times, groping you or feeling you up whenever he got the chance. But, you still disobeyed him. 

He takes off his black blazer and folds it neatly once before draping it over the back of the chair in the corner of the room. As he walks over to you, he’s unbuttoning the sleeves to his white dress shirt and rolling up his sleeve.

“You can take my fingers,” Jeongin says impatiently, sitting next to you but on the edge of the bed. “That’s all you’re getting.”

Better than nothing. 

At the rate you’ve been going at for the past two weeks, just about every inanimate object looks mountable to you. Therefore, you are taking whatever it is that Jeongin will give you. 

He starts by spreading your legs apart for himself and uses the tips of his fingers to glide delicately and softly over your pussy. It doesn’t take long for them to be deliciously slick with your juices while the wet sounds makes you grip at the hem of his jersey. 

He then takes it upon himself to remove all of his rings that are always hot to look at but are now a barrier in this sense - for you. 

“Wetter than usual you are,” Jeongin voices his observation aloud, making you flush with shame before his hand returns to you. “Is this what happens if I neglect you for too long?”

You throw your head back when he teases your entrance with just the tip of one finger. He pulls back and goes in a bit deeper, enough to make you start audibly moaning. Using this method a few times, he was to be sure that you’ve had some prep, regardless if you started but couldn’t finish it.

Plus his fingers are very different from yours and they have never been able to do the trick like him.  

“Yes, baby, feels so good,” your eyes flutter shut. 

“Yeah?” He reaffirms and then takes into consideration how hard you're gripping around his fingers. “I’m not going anywhere, you can relax."

“I can’t help it,” you cry out pathetically, gripping the pillow behind your head. 

The ridge of pleasure fast approaches and Jeongin can feel you clenching sporadically around his fingers, watching his digits become increasingly wetter all the way down to the palm of his hand. When your moans become more strained and stagnant and when you start calling out his name, Jeongin makes the most malicious decision and retracts his entire hand from you. 

Your eyes flash open, clenching around an emptiness as you cum. 

“N-No! Please, please, please! I wanna-I almost-”

“Almost what?” Jeongin interrupts your babbling. “Almost came without my permission? As if.”

You throw your head back and try to swim in what’s left of the diluted pleasure Jeongin stripped from you. But no matter how hard you tried, it was no use. There was no intense surge of euphoria or tingly sensation that would spread throughout your body. 

“Cry about it,” Jeongin shrugs carelessly. “You knew what the rule was and yet you still went ahead and broke it.” 

At that moment, you could have actually cried. His words were a clear sign of ‘fuck around and find out’. So long as he is stern and strict with you about any rule that you both agree to implement, Jeongin will uphold it until the day he dies. 

"I couldn't help myself," you whine while your legs are still clenching and rubbing toghether.

"Clearly," Jeongin replies sarcastically. "Now you know for next time that your actions have consequences."

"There won't be a next time, I promise I'll be good," you swear to him.

Jeongin raises an eyebrow at you, "don't tell me one thing and then go and do the other angel. You'll need to prove it to me in the meantime."

---

A/N: I'm a real...slut for mean Jeongin...also sidenote, this was originally meant to be a 'mutual masturbation' piece but I went with voyeurism since of the mean!dom trope that I ran with.

[demonvampire180writes]

Thank you to @alliwantforchristmasislou for setting up this amazing thing! <3

Warning: I don't know how not to ramble, or make sense.

I don't work during the winter, and I'm trying to pay down debts so I can buy a house in 2025, so I unfortunately don't have any money to spare, but I wanted to express my gratitude to the BuckTommy nation for the joy they've brought me.

I started this silly little show last winter on a total whim. Ms. Angela Basset was always there on the title card whenever I opened Hulu so, bored with my endless amounts of reading, I decided to give it a go. Immediately I was drawn in. I loved their dynamics. The stories. Peter Krause's acting, especially in the scene where he breaks down on the couch with Hen and Buck? Yeah, my overly empathetic self was like, this show is mine now.

Mind you, I didn't binge watch it all at once. I took short little breaks, never feeling the need to power through them all. And then, BuckTommy happened. All of a sudden, I had a reason to catch up and catch up I did. I can't tell you precisely why I was so drawn to them, but I have some ideas.

For once, we had a pair of equally masculine men showing affection towards each other. Neither of them could be relegated to the "woman" role. They weren't stereotypically effeminate, but they went against the alpha male stereotypes. You had two men who had been mentally neglected all their lives, into adulthood, who came out the other side being people that wanted to serve and protect for all they were worth. They had trauma, but outside of Buck's sex addiction - Buck 1.0 - they didn't let their trauma define them. They showed affection, not just to the women around them, but to their friends and chosen family. They said "I love you" with their actions. Buck was allowed to have "feminine" hobbies without being effeminate, and maybe to some that's not a big deal but to me that is. Tommy, who could be questionably called more effeminate, was allowed to have more stereotypically "masculine" hobbies despite being a Kinsey 6.

That's a huge deal on broadcast TV. The general audience has certain expectations, as much as they sometimes suck - they're not known for being the most progressive folks in the world - so the fact that the show was allowed to stick it to them was just... an amazing experience. As someone who's only other experience with masculine GAY men on TV was Ian and Mickey, whom I love dearly, it was such a nice change of pace. Also, the fact that they're both mature men? Also a huge deal. I love Alec, from Shadowhunter's, but he's still pretty young, and he's known he was gay for a very long time. Patrick and David from Schitt's Creek? They knew, and David(?) still has a very effeminate air about him, despite being confirmed pansexual.

All this is to say, that BuckTommy drew me in until they had a chokehold on me. I started using Tumblr again, started diving back into fanfiction in a way I hadn't since Kuroko no Basuke. I've produced more fics for the 911 fandom in six months than for any other fandom I've ever written for. And I've been in fandoms since circa 2007? And that's insanely impressive. BuckTommy drew me back into broadcast TV. I literally yell at my brother when the show is on to not talk to me, or bother me, for the next hour. I've got like... Four shows I wait for weekly now, TV antenna and all.

BuckTommy's have also been some of the kindest, most interesting, people I've had the pleasure of "knowing." Every single day I have things to look forward to in the tag, whether it's fics, or art, or headcannons, or honestly - my favorite - complaints about how the relationship ended and how the writers done fucked up. You guys are so amazing, and I love all of you that I've ever interacted with.

I'm PRAYING to see Lou, and Tommy, again in 2025, but even if he doesn't, I'm back for the long haul. You guys dragged me back from the brink of destruction after the break-up, I've never lost it over a fictional ship like that before in my LIFE, and I've decided that I'm here for good.

Merry fucking Christmas, and Happy Holidays to you all.

[wordsarelife]

reader needs to get her bloodwork done and she's scared to go alone, so when lockwood sees that something bothers her she asks him to go with her? with prompts 10 and 11 pretty please? 💌🎀💕

—i think he knows

pairing: anthony lockwood x fem!reader

summary: reader has to admit her true feelings for lockwood after her heartbeat goes through the roof at his touch

warnings: mentions of blood and vomiting

note: i extended it a bit, i just can't help it, hope that was alright :)

prompts: in bold

you were sitting on the couch in portland row, your book laying on your legs, as your fingers hammered an unsteady rhythm onto the surface.

you tried concentrating on the words you were reading, you really did, but the nerves held you in a chokehold.

“okay” lockwood, who was sitting in his usual seat, closed the magazine he had been reading “what is bothering you?”

“nothing” you muttered, hiding from his eyes.

he stood up and sat down next to you. “well, it must be something” he took your book from you legs and pointed at the little folded corner. “you started reading twenty minutes ago and haven’t even turned the page”

there was nothing you could say against that. you hadn’t even noticed it had been that long, different thoughts ghosting through your mind

“okay” you finally breathed “but it’s embarrassing”

“it’s just me, you can tell me” he encouraged you smiling. you smiled back at him and nodded

“i have to get my blood work done later today and i’m - i’m scared”

“that’s not even embarrassing” lockwood smiled “a lot of people can’t see blood”

“yeah” you shrugged “but it’s so much worse. when i see blood, i have to throw up, the smell- it’s just overwhelming”

“you can smell blood?”

“you can’t?”

he shrugged “at least that explains why you always look so disgusted when i had a wound from the job, i had feared it was my face”

“it’s not your face” you grinned, shaking your head “it’s just so disgusting”

“the blood, right?” lockwood laughed

“yeah” you smiled “would you mind coming with me? i think that would help a lot”

“as long as you don’t throw up all over me, i’m willing to sit beside you and hold your hand”

“thank you” you smiled and squeezed his hand

“if it helps you can look at my face while it’s happening”

“as long as you don’t suddenly bleed in that area, that would be amazing”

“i’ll try my best” he laughed and stood up, collecting his coat from off the couch

“hey, lockwood?”

“yeah?”

“thank you for noticing, i might’ve not told you otherwise”

“of course. you know that i care about you, right?”

“i care about you too. and if you ever need something, please let me know”

“i could use some help with cleaning blood off my face after jobs”

“yeah, not happening” you slapped his arm and walked out of the room to grab your coat. lockwood followed you

“i heard confrontation was the best therapy, we could start with your eyes closed and slowly open them bit for bit”

“i’m not cleaning blood off your face, lockwood”

“but lucy won’t do it either”

“wonder why”

lockwood laughed and followed you outside, closing the door behind you both

“how about hypnosis?”

you threw him a deadpanned look.

“alright i get it, not happening”

you just rolled your eyes and laughed, totally having forgotten how nervous you were.

Lockwood was sitting right next to you, when the nurse began to get you ready.

"how are you feeling?" he asked softly, you send him a look that told him everything he needed to know. "okay" he breathed, laughing

"this thing" the nurse held up a little device "will measure your pulse and it will make a sound if it's too high, or too low" she connected the device and it began to beep slowly. calming you down, as you noticed how relaxed your heart was beating.

the next thing you knew, the procedure had started. you took a quick look to the right, but quickly looked back at Lockwood, scrunching your face in disgust.

Lockwood smiled at the funny face you were doing, before his hand took yours. surprise entered your face and you stopped concentrating on your blood and the smell of it and rather on him.

the device began to beep quicker.

"everything, alright?" the nurse asked from beside you

"yeah" you looked at the friendly woman and your heartbeat calmed, then your eyes returned back to Lockwood and it picked up it's pace.

"that is weird" the woman watched the device closely

"maybe it's broken?" Lockwood suggested, squeezing your hand in comfort. your heartbeat picked up again. the nurse raised her eyes to look at the boy, then back at you.

"oh, that's a rather common disease" she laughed

"oh?" you repeated scared "am i gonna die?"

"no" she shook her head, still laughing

you looked at Anthony in confusion. he was smiling and you didn't understand a thing.

"Lockwood?" you asked scared "what is wrong with me?"

now Lockwood had to laugh too, him and the nurse syncing. "nothing, love, absolutely nothing is wrong with you"

"i suggest that for the rest of the procedure, you two let go of each other. keep your eyes on me, ms l/n"

"s-sure" you said, still confused

"this really never happened before" the nurse smiled in Lockwood's direction. "don't look at him" she scolded, as your eyes were ready to wander back to his form "look at me, dear"

"why are you laughing?" Lockwood walked next to you on the way back home, and he was giggling and nearly jumping in the air from excitement. "what did she mean, earlier?"

Lockwood stopped walking and looked at you "you don't know?"

"obviously i don't"

"oh, okay" he breathed "well. i think she suggested that your heartbeat picked up, anytime i touched you or you looked at me"

"bullshit" you shook your head "why would it? it's not like i'm scared of you"

"yeah, that's not quite the word i would use either" he stepped closer, pointing at your wrist "may i?"

you shrugged your shoulders, unsure what he would do next. "go ahead"

his hand went to your wrist and rested on your pulse. then his other hand pulled a strand of hair behind your ear. you could feel your pulse pick up and so could he, because now he was smiling, like he had just proven a theory.

he thought for a second, before his hand wandered to your cheek, softly stroking it. your heartbeat picked up even more. his eyes fell to your lips. he stepped forward and planted a featherlight kiss onto them.

he jumped back. "whoa" he laughed "felt like your heart was exploding"

you looked at him with big eyes, still shocked at what just happened. then you got an idea. your eyes wandered to his wrist and you pointed at it. "may i?" you asked and Lockwood nodded

you softly took his wrist and your fingers immediately found his pulse. it was beating steady, nothing out of the ordinary. your other hand landed on his chest and his pulse picked up, with every movement you did, his pulse got faster. your hand softly wandered up his chest, before it went to his shoulder. you caressed his cheek for a moment and then went to grab his hair in the nap of his neck. his pulse felt like it was exploding, you weren't even sure if it was healthy to be this fast.

your hand, which had found a steady position in his neck, quickly pushed him forward, until your lips crushed together in hunger. you forget to keep your hand at his wrist. it joined your other one and both of them were roaming his hair.

both his hands went to your waist. you breathed each other in like air, as if only a kiss could save you. his tongue entered your mouth. your knees almost buckled from the effect that had on you, but he held you steady.

after a while you broke the kiss, both laughing.

"that was amazing" you smiled

"and rather unsafe considering your heart nearly beat out of your chest when i kissed you the first time" Lockwood noted "you heart nearly exploded when i touched your neck, before i even kissed you, mister" you scolded laughing

"that's just the effect you have on me" he shrugged smiling

"let's go home?" you asked and he nodded.

"so how do you feel about me exactly?" Lockwood smiled smugly

"i ain't gotta tell you, i think you know" you plastered a longing kiss on his mouth, before you took his hand, nearly skipping down the street from pure happiness.

[merakiui]

ORZ sleezy mafia Floyd has me in a chokehold!!! I can imagine darling fights tooth and nail at the prospect of dating but meeting the Leech parents causes her to falter — they love her so much! And Jade too ;) (in more ways than one but we’ll never know wink wink) so now darling just goes “what now? Do I lie?” I imagine the Leeches were actually told that they were practically engaged already, so it’s a matter of time before darling relents! The sex is phenomenal and has her coming back anyways!

If not then, with their connections and intelligence, they have other means of persuading ^.^

Darling and Floyd's relationship seesaws between "they're definitely lovers" to "oh, they're just fuck buddies." T_T it's so frustrating for Floyd because he wants to put in the time and commitment, but because you're familiar with his personality you expect him to eventually grow bored and toss you aside and so you only treat him as a temporary pleasure. But then Floyd is waking up early to cook you breakfast in bed when you spend the night at his place, he's giving you his shirts and sweaters because "they're comfy" and definitely not because it's this weird possessive habit he has where you have to smell like him or else, he knows all of your favorite and least favorite things, he can read you better than you read yourself at times, he genuinely wants to know you outside of the bedroom, and he cares so, so much. You're the first long-term and consecutive fling he's ever had, and if this was unfolding in the Coral Sea you'd be a mated pair by the end of your fourth month together. orz

So it's really awkward (for him) when you visit his parents because they assume the two of you are together but haven't yet mated. Floyd's smacking his father with his tail and thinking shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup in a loop when he slyly suggests you and Floyd ought to get busier. Mama Leech isn't any better (or subtle); she really wants grandchildren to love and spoil. Only his parents are capable of flustering the rarely-flustered Floyd. T_T and Jade is just as bad. He makes sure to join in on the lighthearted teasing, and Floyd hates him for it (not for long, though, because when he hears your laughter and sees your pretty smile... oh, he's falling in love all over again).

Going into the meeting, you probably told yourself you'd lie or divert just to make things easier. But the Leech family are so comfortable and safe and sweet! You feel so welcomed and loved and appreciated the minute you're brought into the large, rocky, labyrinthine structure at the bottom of the sea, having taken a transformation potion to exist at such deep, dark depths. If Floyd loved you before, he loves you even more now that you're (temporarily) a mer like him and it's so hard to ignore every mer instinct that tells him the two of you are together in a more intimate sense. He knows that's not how relationships work on the surface, but this isn't the surface and so you can't exactly blame him for feeling even more drawn to you than normal.

By the end of the meeting, you feel so dazed. Floyd rarely talks about his parents, so you didn't have many concrete expectations or assumptions beforehand. But now that you're acquainted with his parents, it makes your relationship feel far more real and official than it ever did. orz but you're still just fuck buddies!!!! You promise yourself that over and over, but it doesn't really stick this time...

[ayekittyk4t]

i got a box you can put all your lies in | till dawn (here comes the sun)

♱ Desc: Your Ex-Boyfriends father asks why you two broke up. When you give in and tell him, he shows you what you’d been missing all along.

♱ Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x AFAB! Reader

♱ Content: Smut…

♱ Content Warning: Unestablished Relationships, Unprotected Sex, Rough Sex, Age gap, Degradation, No Prep, Slapping (Face, Ass), Chokehold (bc it’s toji duh), Fingers Sucking, Names (Sweetheart, slut, whore), might be more just lmk

♱ Word Count: 3423

a/n wrote this on a whim like most of my fics. but i love toji sm but i realized i only have one fic of him. this is also me kinda manifesting this irl ;) playing playing. but this is so basic,bc there’s so many tojixreaders like this but reader is always sad. so i made her not emo here 💅🏻

“So you broke my son's heart.”

Mr Fushiguro spoke in a hoarse voice standing with the door to his home halfway open. The rain is pouring outside, and you're soaked from your feet up after walking from your car to the front steps of your now Ex- Boyfriend’s home. Cold droplets of water drip off your skin and dampen your clothes, you’re shivering from the wetness.

The comment took you by surprise. It was somewhat true. Mostly true. However, to be told this by your Ex’s father wasn’t really ideal.

“I-I don’t think so.” You choke on your own tongue, not sure of how to respond to such a comment.

A low chuckle rumbles from his chest, and a faint smirk displays itself on Mr Fushiguros scared lips. He licks them, and puffs his chest out, running his hand through his dark locks.

“Don’t worry about it, Sweetheart.” He addressed you by a nickname that’s never slipped off his tongue. Or if it has, you didn’t recall the moment. “I’ll get you stuff. That’s what you're here for, right?” The door opens wider, and he’s moved waiting for you to enter.

“Mr Fushiguro, I can wait outside. It’s ok.”

“You want to wait in the rain?”

He looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed and tilts his head forward to you. Mr Fushuguro towers over you as he takes a step to size you up and down. You’re wearing a now see through long sleeve with no sweater.

“Yes.”

“No, come in, you're soaked.” He waves his hand, and as docile as you are, you listen and take a step into the Fushiguro home.

It was strange walking into a home you know you were no longer welcome into with open arms. You hadn’t come in a few weeks after your break up with Megumi. Of course, it smelt the same, looked the same, and provided you with that warmth you always liked so much of your Ex-Boyfriend’s household.

It smelt of musky sandalwood and firewood, and the occasional intoxicating booze. The lighting was low, always making you sleepy, and it was furnished so minimally.

“Take a seat, I’ll go grab your things.” The heavy front door shuts, and the locks on the door click loudly. You take a seat into the plush dark brown leather couch, and watch as Mr Fushiguro disappears from your view walking into a dark hallway.

Turning, you face the burning fire and slide yourself off the couch to get closer to the warmth. You wipe the droplets of water off with your sleeve and push the wet hair off your face, trying to make yourself presentable in the slightest.

“You know,” Mr Fushiguros booming from the hallway shakes you. Then he begins, this time lowering his voice a bit, “He had so much of your stuff.”

You find yourself stuck looking at the sight of the fire. The burning embers, orange and red flames striking high and the crack of wood. After a few seconds, you turn back to find Mr Fushiguro standing over you with a box full of your belongings.

He looks down upon you, kneeling and looking up at him like a lost puppy. Mouth agape, eyes big and lashes fluttering.

“So why’d it end?” He breaks the silence, walking away from you to take a seat on his couch. He placed the box in his lap and ran his fingers along the pages of a book you let your boyfriend borrow.

“Um,” You pause. This wasn’t a appropriate discussion to have with your Ex-Boyfriend’s dad, you thought. “We mutually agreed to it.”

Mr Fushiguro snorted, spreading his legs wider and leaning into the couch more.

“Bullshit.” He looks you into your eyes. They're a dark, enticing green. You’ve never seen a color like them before.

“E-excuse me?”

“I said that’s bullshit.” You blink hard from his comment. Ripping your eyes away from his. What was he saying? Why was he saying such things? This is the most he’s interacted with you, ever, and just now he becomes an entirely different person.

He moved the box off his lap, taking a hold of the book. It was then you noticed how tight his black long sleeve was and how nice and fitted his gray sweatpants were on the swell…

God, what were you thinking?

Mr Fushiguro skims through a few pages of the book, inhaling a whiff of that new book smell. Then, he reaches into the box and looks at all your belongings.

“You’ve got some real personal stuff in here, Kid.”

“Hey!” You straighten from your slouch and scramble up, “Can I have my box now please?”

He looks at you still one your knees, pulling the box closer to his chest, “Tell me the truth, then I will give the box to you.” His tone is stern and his voice is strong.

“I already told you the truth, Mr Fushiguro.”

“Toji.”

“What?” You asked.

“Call me Toji. You keep calling me Mr Fushiguro.” He says, mocking your whiny voice.

“I already told you the truth, Toji.” This time you address him by Toji, and say his name with venom on your tongue. You were becoming irritated by Tojis childish antics.

“Mm, no, I don’t believe you did.” He looks into your eyes and squints, shaking his head lightly before digging back into the box.

“Woah, how obscene.” He mumbles under his breath, just enough for you to hear. And he flips it towards you, showing the a polaroid in his hand, and you find your naked breasts on full display.

“Toji, no-”

“All you have to do is tell me the truth.” He looks back towards you, wide grin on his face.

“I said it was mutual.” You protest, not noticing how you crawled closer to him.

“Huh, guess I’ll keep looking then.”

“No!” You shout, “I’ll tell you, Toji! Just please stop looking.” You beg, looking up to him with frustration and eyes watering.

“H-He,” You begin, leaning away from Toji, “He didn’t please me sexually.”

You look away from him, and down into your lap. Nervously, you play with your fingers. Cracking them and rubbing the center of your palm with your thumb. Just doing anything but looking into his eyes.

The room is quiet, except for the sound of the crackling fire and heavy raindrops on the window.

“Why is that?” Toji asks, this time his voice is much softer.

It wasn’t right to go into detail. This was your Ex-Boyfriends father for Christ's sake. Though, it all had just felt right to do so at the moment.

“I wanted him to be more aggressive.” You begin, lifting your head to look at him, “He treated me like a delicate little fawn. Like I was going to break even if he pinched me, pushed me, added more pressure.”

The tone of your voice changed from a struggling whine to complete annoyance.

“And I’m not some porcelain doll, I’m human.” In seconds you're already throwing your hands up, “And at first, I thought it was because he was shy and quiet, then maybe he’d eventually open up to me. But that time never came, Toji. I waited so long for it, and still, everything was so gentle with him.”

When you laid your eyes back into Tojis eyes, his face was straight. He has no emotions displayed.

“So you’re a pain slut?”

“Toji!”

“Am I wrong?” He questions you, tilting his head to the side and bringing himself down to you. He watches as you try to collect yourself. You’re in shock, but he noticed the tinge of redness on your cheekbones.

“You like it rough? You like to be hit? You like to be hurt?” He says the last words with so much bitterness, his breath fanning over your face from how close he was. No matter how much you tried to look away, to pull yourself away, you just couldn’t.

“You’re a fucking masochist.”

You don’t know what it was, but it seemed like that word may have been it. That nine letter and three syllable word. Masochist. And you fucking lost it.

You pull him in, arms around his neck and kiss him hard. At first you, he doesn’t reciprocate the favor, but then, his lips meet yours in a similar aggressiveness. You’re pulling him foward, devouring the taste of his mouth.

Soon, he follows your movements, meeting you on the floor. His arms wrap around your body. So big and strong that he lifts you, and slams you onto the floor. Your head barely misses the chimney, and back aching from the strength.

He rips away from your lips, kneeling in his knees to look at you on the floor. The orange glow of the fire reflects of your face, and your chest rises and falls intensely. His hands meet at your waist, squeezing and pulling.

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” He pushes your damp shirt up, exposing your belly, “You’re no delicate doll now.”

Tojis lips are on yours again, harsh and hot with fervor. He between your legs now, your knees spread wide and his body. You try to mimic his movements but he’s just too strong for you. Panting, you open your mouth, and turn your head away, Toji uses the moment to trail kisses from you jaw to your neck. His hot tongue traces small circles on your skin. Looking down, you catch his dark green orbs on yours. He flashes you a smile, then bites down on your skin.

You moan, throwing your head back and arching your back to Toji. Your hands wrap around his neck and pull him closer. Once you open your eyes, you catch a glance of a family portrait. Guilt seeping into your skin at the sight.

“I don’t think,” He’s moved lower to your collarbone, and bites down again, “Fuck, I don’t think this a good idea.”

He doesn’t stop his movements, only getting closer and closer to your cleavage. Toji looks into your eyes, then looks in your directions.

“You now realize it when I’m about to put my mouth on your tits?” He questions you.

The picture was a portrait of the two when Megumi was just and little boy and Toji a young man. You cant look away, your eyes glued to it.

“Look at me,” Tojis rough hand meets your jaw harshly, squeezing your cheeks and pulling you away to look at him, “What do you want?”

Time seems to stop when he asks you the question. What did you want? It didn’t take a lot of time for you to come to a conclusion of what you wanted. You wanted him. In you, around you, on you. You wanted Toji.

“Fuck me, Toji.” You softly say, “I want you to fuck me hard. Don’t worry about hurting me, just do it.”

He doesn’t waste time, ripping your clothes off in swift movements. And in a few moments you're laid naked in front him and his hands trails and the plains of skin all across your body. You ache for more, gyrating your hips in the slightest to gain some relief.

“Shit, you’re really fucking horny for it aren’t you?” His hand reaches the hem of your panties, playing with the small little rose of the center of them. Rapidly, he pinches the hem between his thumb and pointer and yanks them off. You hear a tear, instinctively your hands reach out to his, falling from your reach as he pulls your panties down your legs.

An intense throbbing from your cunt sends your entire body into a fierce shake. It was so apparent, that Toji took it upon himself to reach out two of fingers down towards your cunt. He rubs them along slick cunt and collects the unbelievable amount of juices you’ve leaked onto him by such a simple movement.

“Yea, so fuckin’ wet.”

You reach down, trying to get your dainty fingers on your clit to increase the pleasure but he’s fast. He catches you, and pins both your hands above your head with just one of his.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing, Slut?” His voice is nasty, and his name to address you is so vulgar. His displeasemenf with your actions drips off his tone and his face.

“You said you wanted it rough. And I’ll give you exactly that if that slutty cunt of yours can't wait.”

Fear seeps in your gut. You should stop. Megumi could home any second, catch you two in the act and not only hate you, but his own father. It wasn’t right, it was so wrong. You didn’t need anyone to tell you that except your own conscience. But, oh, how good did everything that was wrong feel so blissful. Though, not only the fear of being caught make your stomach churn, but also the capability of the man above you.

The capability of the man who was now reaching into his sweats and stroking his throbbing cock. Pulling the length out, and your eyes widen at the sight. The thick, veiny and big. The tip of it is angry, burning red, exposing you to how much he wanted to do this too.

Your wrists hurt from the heavy weight being put on them, pushing and squeezing, keeping you put. You try to wiggle them free, but it was no use. You just wanted to touch him, feel him. You bet he felt so good.

“Hey, look at me.” Toji nudges your face hard.

You look into his eyes, and somehow they darkened.

“Watch it stretch you out.”

So you do.

You watch as the thick head of his cock, teases your clit, rubbing and mixing his precum along your slick. Toji does a good job of containing everything, as you twitched at the acting and whimpered.

“Feels so good.”

“I bet it fuckin’ does.” He thrusts in without a warning. You scream, tense and squeezing him so tight. Arching you back, you try your best to calm yourself. Breath, relax, accept the hurt.

He pushed his full length into your tight cunt, and tries to deepen himself in you as much as he could. Spreading your legs wide with his free hand, he watches how furrowed your eyebrows were and how you bite your lip, then pulls out and does the same.

Toji fucks you hard. Mumbling obscenities and pulling the full length of his cock out your cunt, just to shove it back in. He fills you with that pleasurable pain with each and everyone of his thrusts.

It makes you loose your mind. You become lost in the pleasure, closing your eyes and throwing your head back. Putting on a show for him. Showing him how beautiful you can be with his cock fucking into your nice and rough.

He's restless, animalistic, pushing you up against the carpet with each thrust, and it scratches your bare body. Large huffs of air vibrate in his chest and fall past his scarred lips as groans.

“Look at me.” He growls and demands you. And despite how scary he sounded, you just couldn’t. The pit of shame in your belly grew and everything felt so good, looking him in his eyes would just worsen the feeling and make you cum too fast.

Toji didn’t like your disobedience though.

“Listen to me, Whore.” He slaps you, your eyes shooting open and moaning the loudest you ever have in your life. Below him, you twitch, and he feels you squeeze around his cock.

“Ah, fuck, you like that, huh?”

“Mhm,” You gyrate your hips to intensify your pleasure.

“Yes or no.” He punctuates each word with harsh thrusts.

“Yes, I fucking love it.”

And in one swift movement, Toji rips himself out of you to flip you over. Your legs are weak, not allowing you to hold yourself up straight so quickly. Toji has no pantience, using his own strenght to wrap his arms around your waist and lift your ass up to him.

“Yea, you like that?” He slaps your ass, watching the fat jiggle and squeezes. You jolt, arching your back from the sting and trying to gain balance on your hands, but Toji pushes you back down, You rest your head on your forearm, nails digging into the stone fireplace.

He spreads your asscheeks to watch your cunt clench around nothing, then without a warning, he shoves himself back in. You moan a long Fuck, the vertebrae down the collin of your spine protrude at the arch of your back.

The obscenities just roll of his tongue so casually and he fucks you so good you almost forget he was your Exs dad. You almost forget how old he is. You almost forget you can so easily get caught in the act.

Your elbows rub against the carpet, getting scraped and hot from the aggressiveness of Tojis hips flushed against your ass. You can't help yourself, pushing your ass back to meet his movements and feeling deeper inside you.

“Oh, you feel so good. Squeezing me nice and tight.” He laughs wickedly, one hand squeezing your hip, piercing your skin with his blunt fingernails. You feel his other hand snake down your back, and grab some hair from the scalp and pull.

You bareback meets his clothed chest, hands rambling for a hold to balance yourself. You latch into his shirt behind you, gripping it and stretching the material with your grasp.

Toji picks a leg up, and fucks into you. He pulls your head into the crook of his neck, and you feel his heavy breath all over your face. He smelled so good. Like fig and booze. It was intoxicating, making you ache all over.

You press your lips together, holding in your moan, humming in bliss instead. But he wants you out loud, it motivates him. He nudges your cheek with two fingers, but when that doesn’t work, he lays a hard slap on your face and your mouth drops open in a moan.

“Suck.” Two fingers dig into you mouth, you instinctively gag. Toji feels your cunt tighten around him again. He rubs your tongue, and you wrap your lips around two thick fingers. Tasting what you believed to be the flavor of whiskey left on his skin. He pulls them out, watches the drool spill out your lips, and drop onto the floor.

His thrusts haven’t stopped, he keeps going. His cock hitting the deepest places in your body, pushing you closer and closer to an orgasm. You feel his finger trail down your navel, onto your cunt and rubs your clit. To that, you tug his shirt and pull him closer to your back.

Just when you thought you couldn’t feel better, when you thought you’d finally reached the peak of your pleasure. Toji wraps his arm around your neck, and places you in a choke hold. The sudden constriction on your neck was absolutely delightful.

You two drop down, his body tight against yours while you did your best to not fall over. He keeps ahold on your neck, making your wheeze and listen to his animalistic grunts. His cock hits your cervix, and your orgasm begins to build up faster.

“Toji, Im gonna-” You say through wheezing breaths, trying your best to speak.

“I know.” His voice is hoarse and addicting.

It hits you hard, and your squeezing around him in moments. Gushing, moaning, rutting. You didn’t know you could turn into this type of person, this side of you was foreign.

“Fuckin’ hell, you dirty, dirty, girl.”

Toji isn’t far back either, his cock pulsing inside your sensitive walls. He’s loud. He’s saying so much, but your come down was so intense, you couldn’t dechipher his words.

“Mm, fuck.” Toji pulls out, hot, white cum spilling on your ass. Your cunt squeezing and the feeling of it dripping down.

This was a feeling you’d never forget. A feeling you’d want to relive every single day. One you’d become so easily addicted to, and not ever recover from it. You fear what would come of this experience. Your cravings and desires will just increase from now on. Your craving and desires for Toji will never disappear.

There was a thought they’d follow you forever. Haunt you, chase you down and eat you alive. You wouldn’t fight it. You wouldn’t even go as much as to try to. Because it felt so fucking good.

“Rough feels so good, doesn’t it?”

[rainbowsalt0412]

THE NEW UPDATE

Just got back from a trip and guess what, Sylus has the entire LnDs Nation in a chokehold, and I kinda knew this was gonna happen, so buckle up this is gonna be a long one.

First things first, He is SO HOTTTTTTTTTT!

Mannnn, when he was first revealed a couple of weeks ago, I had already posted about how he might surpass others to be my top, and guess what, I was not wrong, he is already making me doubt my loyalty to Zayne when he hasn't even debuted yet, but hey it's just a game so I'll be fine.

Second thing that I noticed in his trailers and the 2.0 preview livestream was that they did reveal his certain characteristics.

He is definitely 'Hard on the outside, soft on the inside' kind of guy. This conclusion was made with what the Kitty Cat told us about him when he was out in N109 Zone collecting information and how Sylus placed him softly on the ground after picking him off from top of a building and telling him its no place for soft Cats like him, and then he was seen walking past a flower when he could have easily stepped on it like some other Bad Guys like to do, but he didn't, someone (I don't know who exactly, I might have reblogged their post) even mentioned that the flower kind of reflected MC and how Sylus might just make her have an insight into his lifestyle rather then just killing her after she was captured the the last chapter.

Other thing that I noticed was that his Evol might not be Blood, instead it's Energy Manipulation or something like that, which could be a possibility as he is a leader of an organization that focus on Protocores, I'm still not sure, guess we'll have to wait to see what is it exactly.

He also might be the only LI as of now who is an actual combatant apart from Xavier, i.e., he has actual combat skills, maybe because of his position and surroundings. Like I know we can choose our companions during battle but when it comes to Main Story thing, not all LIs are fit for fighting skills, Xavier has to be the best combatant of them all due to his job, and now I can say the same for Sylus as well, if not, he can be better than Xavier as well, specially how he is the only one who is actually teaching the MC how to fight in his memories.

Apart from that, he also can cook, has a thing for singing (his karaoke 4-Star memory reference, if you might have noticed), and can and does ride Bikes, but despite that he is a walking Red flag, but I don't blame him, and would still love him if it came to that.

One thing I noticed in LnDs, which is also my favorite thing about them is the Detailing, so of course Sylus has his own as well. When I first saw him in his preview from a couple of weeks ago, I kind of thought that he looked similar to Zayne but that's not the case, maybe it was the lighting and angles that made me think that, but not anymore. I think that the LIs are made to look the way their characters are, like when I first saw Xavier in an AD, I immediately thought of a high class individual or a bodyguard with a soft side who is also jealous of whom you meet and talk to or something like that, and Zayne seemed like a Cold beauty, and it did turned to be similar to that when I started playing the game, So yes I'm gonna analyze Sylus as well (It might not be 100% true cause I'm just making assumptions which could be true).

Unlike Zayne who has a cold yet soft looks similar to his character (As he is the closest to Sylus in terms of looks and characters I'll take him for comparison), Sylus has more of 'Rough on the edge' looks, someone who has a Bad, Traumatic and Rough childhood. He seemed like the guy who didn't wanted to be here but had no choice as well, and that doesn't mean he's innocent, he has his fair share of crimes and evil doings, and would gladly take the wrong thing into consideration if it gives him his desired results.

HE WEARS A F*CKING CHOKER!!!!!!

AND IS DOMINET AS HELL, I CAN FEEL IT!!!!!!

With the showcase of his pair memories, I doubt he was with the MC in any other timeline because unlike any other boy, his pair seemed to be a part of the present timeline, and I think he is suppose to be the Bad Guy for this timeline, or he could be the bad guy for other LIs who didn't let him meet the MC in any other timeline.

Other thing that I noticed about him is that he is very much self dependent person, whether you talk about his cooking skills, his combat skills, etc. Like he does have a chef doing his food, but he could very much cook himself as well, unlike someone, *Coughs* Xavier (That prince treatment did that to you I see) *Cough*, which makes me think he has spent most of his early life alone, or maybe his entire life alone in general, and didn't have much help from others either. This also tells us that he instead trusts himself rather than others to do his work, except when he can't, maybe because he couldn't trust many people in his line of work.

OR this all could just be a hobby as well...

The 'Mechanical Crow' thing tells me that maybe he could be a good Mechanic as well, if you know what I mean, like he could have just designed and created that himself as well, and is interested in designing and creating, like come on he is the leader of Onychinus, he is a Modern Technology guy. I can see him working on his Bike every now or then.

And of course, he is a top priority target for UNICRONS.

That's what I noticed for now, so keeping his character aside for now, let's talk about the new features.

I didn't understand much about the wish system, like are we suppose to use normal wishes only cause I don't have much and enough diamonds to buy those, I bought the special ones instead cause I though that would be the one we'll have to use.

New battle system is a great feature for F2Ps like me, though I did not understand much of it as well and still do not have my memories enough ranked up yet.

How are some people already done with their Orbital when I'm here stuck on 50 or something of every orbit for past month? I'm not even halfway there.

I'm glad we'll get Sylus's first 5-Star pair and 4-Star pair in the permanent wish pool, which would gladly be his two Primary dominant colors.

You know what, I did not understand much of anything the new 2.0 version would be bringing to us, I'll just have to wait and see it for myself to get a hold of it.

ANNNNNNDDDDD, we are getting branches for every LI starting this Sept., which is an exciting part as well cause I almost thought we wouldn't have that system here. I still don't understand why Sylus was not included there, maybe because he would be a recent addition.

And Last but not the least, the letter in the end made me tear up. This shows just how much effort and time they put into the game and that they do care about us, The Players. I just wanna give a piece of my mind to the person responsible for Sylus's leak. Thank the lord I didn't see anything other than the one actually uploaded on the official channel. It must be very hard to give that level of production, not to mention they have a reputation to maintain as the world's first 3-D Otome Game, so it must have been really upsetting that someone ruined their upcoming surprise project like that when they might not even had any part in it.

When the last review mail was up I gave them 1-Star in every category because of how frustrated I was of not pulling much from any limited banner at that time because as an F2P, I literally harvest the diamond so I'm very careful about spending them so getting nothing in return took a troll on me. So if a review mail is up again in this next update, I'll gladly give them 5-Star everywhere possible, considering they did took the advice of F2Ps like us well, and it's not just that but this new update would give me an opportunity to earn diamonds a little bit easily.

And it's not like I don't want to spend, it's just I can't spend now as I'm focused on some real life resources which are really important for me, not to mention the game is really expensive. So in future if I do get a chance, I'll gladly spend some.

That's all for now. Feel free to share your thoughts on Sylus, and this new update as well in the comment section, I'll love to discuss.

(Tumblr pulled a B*tch, and didn't save my earlier draft resulting in me doing this entire thing again, took me a day to recall, might have missed some points but that okay.)

[mysecretwindowuniverse]

"Remember when I told you you'd come around? You didn't believe me , silly little bird," "Jerome . . ."

This is cartoonishly late - like, this was originally supposed to be posted on Valentine's Day. Suffice to say, it's been a bit of an unexpectedly arduous journey to get this finally posted.

Back in the beginning of the year I spent about a month on this in total, from inception to completion. I'd just about finished, all the main piece needed were the final touches when my fiance got me sick. And I mean sick; hadn't been that ill in years, and I ended up losing more than a damn week to what turned out to be RSV. And subsequently missed Valentine's Day.

No big deal, I thought, I'll post it by the end of February.

Nope.

The setback of getting RSV turned out to only be the first in a line of setbacks, from getting sick a grand total of three more fucking times (not including the unrelenting menace that is allergies), unforeseen, extensive travel during the spring, followed by anxiety/existential dread over AI and the seeming impossibility to protect your artwork and the bitter hopelessness of the situation. So that kept me from posting. And then, to top everything off, came the travel-sickness-burnout-induced unexpected hiatus taken from this blog.

So yeah, it's been a long road.

But finally I was able to finish this piece - my first (completed) Gotham fanart! My original goal had been to post a semi-corresponding fanfic alongside the fanart, but on account of the aforementioned setbacks and a serious writer's block, that's going to have to wait. I'm still working on it! - but it's completion is seriously TBD.

In truth, I haven't done artwork this intensive in literal years, and it's been really great to get back into it. Like, I really threw myself into this; the urge to create just struck out of nowhere, and I fortunately had the time (and motivation) needed to see this piece through to the bitter end. And honestly? I'm really happy with how they came out!

Of course it's jeromewald, at this point, is it even a surprise, lol? What it says on this blog's header remains true - I do ship both nygmobblepot and jeromewald equally, but (both fortunately and unfortunately) of those ships, one already has an ocean's worth of phenomenal content, whereas the other is far more niche. So I figure it's best to create for the far smaller pair, supply what fresh content I can, and do my part to help keep this lovely fandom alive!

Can you tell I had Thnks Fr th Mmrs on a loop while making this?

'He tastes like you only sweeter' is an insane thing to say, and I feel it really fits a jeromewald x nygmobblepot love triangle. 'The love triangle from hell', one of my favorite things and the hyperfixation that has had me in a chokehold for years.

The pose is shamelessly inspired by that one Batman Catwoman cover (issue No. 9)

I can't say when the next fanart will be posted, but I am working on at least four others at the moment, so fingers crossed the creativity gods smile upon me and I'm able to churn more out over the next few months!

[violetmina]

Chokehold - Ch. 2

Chokehold Masterlist

Taglist: @roundroald, @i-wished-upon-a-star-one-night

Pairing: Billy Butcher x Fem!Reader

Word count: 5,419

Warning: Swearing, minor injuries. Slight sexual tension? Butcher being...Butcher? So an ass. He’s defintely an ass.

A/N: Buckle up, y'all. It's a long one. I tried not to let this get away from me but it's hard writing these moves and techniques without getting wordy. Please keep in mind that Brazilian jiu jitsu is a complicated system with many variations of many techniques. Even common names can also vary from gym to gym, instructor to instructor, ect. What I describe here is fairly universal and written as what has been taught to me. BUT it is not the end all, be all.

I also hope describing the reader as shorter than Butcher, or other similar minor details, are not outstanding enough to take away from the story. I have done my best to be as vague as possible. Enjoy.

"Wait…why don't you want me to tell them?"

"Cuz I said so," Butcher grumbled, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for the light to turn green.

"OK, fine," you shrugged in the passenger seat. You turned from him long enough to sift through the bag of fast food sitting warmly in your lap. The two of you had volunteered for this evening's food run, a moderate size order since Frenchie and Kimiko were the only other ones still there for the night. You passed over Frenchie's order, the lone shake Kimiko had requested and finally finding your individual prizes, you moved the bag aside to replace it with your fries. You waved Butcher his burger in offering. "But a little explanation would be nice."

He waved away the burger and you slid it back in the bag. Then promptly squawked when he snatched a clump of your fries. You hid them by your hip closest to the door, hopefully out of his greedy reach. "Look," he explained around two of them in his teeth like a poised cigarette, "You came to me. It's not they're business. You can surprise Hughie and the congresswoman when you're well and ready. In the meantime, let's not have the temptation of too many cooks in the kitchen, eh?"

The light changed and he eased onto the gas, snapping the fries into his mouth. "For whatever reason, the boys like you. They'd be happy to help. But bless they're bleeding little hearts, I don't need them fluttering about with pointers or how they do shit. Next thing you know it'll be Ryan or Hughie bugging me to teach them, too. I'm not running a fucking daycare."

You paused in chewing, stuffing his fries out of the bag and into the console on his side. You slid his drink in as well before he could eye yours. "Did you just call me a child, or are you saying you're old?"

The streetlights caught the glitter of annoyance in his dark eyes as he pinned you with a look. "Old enough to spank ya, ya mouthy shit."

If he had any inkling of the internal conflict that caused you, he showed no indication as he turned his attention back to traffic. You popped another fry in your mouth to chew on instead of your lip. For two and a half weeks now you'd been training under Butcher's firm instruction. If you could call two hours of mobility drills, three times a week "training". You had expected this whole experience to be rough, grueling, militant even. What you had not expected was your growing awareness of Butcher. The kind of awareness that noted how large his palms and how long his fingers were when he corrected your form. The kind that locked onto the flex of his thighs under dark denim when he demonstrated a move in the drill. The one that often traced and retraced the distinct outline of his shoulders when he shrugged on or off his coat. Going through the motions was easy in comparison to the growing war you had with the intrusive, pulsing thoughts that came during each lesson.

What's worse was that it was now seeping and lingering long after the lessons. During random things he'd say or do. Like just now.

A tight exhale through his nose pulled you out of your thoughts as he pulled up to another red light. You'd been around Butcher long enough at this point to know that he was a little off. Grumpy seemed to be his default, but lately he'd been more snippish than usual. His brow sat a little lower, a little heavier, his eyes a bit tighter at the corners. It had been a disappointing day, a supe had gotten a plea bargain and lowered the five years in prison to an insulting six months parole. By the way his fingers gripped the steering wheel and the other strangled his soda, you had a feeling he was craving something much stronger and blatantly denying himself. You admired his self-discipline almost as much as his physical attributes. But god was his mood getting harder to tolerate with each passing day.

With that in mind, you shifted - or shoved, rather - away from his response and doubled back. "I didn't come to you for lessons. You caught me in my bluff and took over. You or nothing, remember? But I get your point. We've all got our hands full and I don't want to distract everybody from our cases. Kinda feel bad already."

"Oh?," he mutters, still glaring at the road.

You sip on your drink before nodding as the light hits green again. "Yeah. Actually…" For a second you hesitate but push forward anyway. "Butcher, I wanted to say thank you."

That snaps his head to you with a look you don't see on him often - genuine, mild surprise. "Thank me?"

"Yes, Butcher," you laugh. "Thank you. I mean it. I still don't really get why you insist on being my coach. With everything you got going on - Ryan, putting up with Hughie and the bureau, Homelander still even existing - I don't know how you find time to breathe. But you're still finding time to help me, personally and I honestly wasn't expecting that from you. So…thank you."

The corners of his mouth twitched up for a brief second, the first you'd seen in days, before gliding the car to the curb. "Yeah, well," he mumbled as he killed the engine, "You're welcome. Can't risk having you being turned into a red smear under our boots out there, now can we?"

You smile and the both of you gather your food before stepping out of the car. In a brief moment you've entered the building and crossed the lobby. "That actually might not be a bad idea, though," you mused, sipping again on your drink in contemplation as you enter the elevator.

"What? Being smeared across the concrete?"

"No," you reply, nearly choking on your soda as he presses the button for the right floor. "I mean about you teaching Ryan. Maybe it'd do you both some good."

Butcher barked a laugh. "Mallory would just love me for that, wouldn't she? First, I drop a supe kid in her lap outta the blue, then I show him how to dislocate a knee or elbow. Only he can do it with a little flick of his pinky. A bit of gym class on those poor guards when he's not doing his homework." He shakes his head. "Nah. He don't need that."

You shrugged. "I don't know. You said he's been having nightmares, right?" Butcher nods. "For all the power he has, he's still a kid. He probably feels lost. His life is out of control. Maybe learning how to defend himself will give him that - some sense of control."

"You really think that?"

"I don't know for sure. But that's what it does for me. Not that you care but it's helped me more than -"

"How could I not care?"

You're startled by it and by the look he's whirled on you. His brows furrowed and his eyes lock on you like he's searching for as much a nonverbal answer as a verbal one. It's not angry per se, but you feel like it could peel you back in layers. It dawns on you that you're staring at him, and how dumb you must look with the straw still perched on your lip. You don't know how to respond.

He shifts on his feet and blinks as if remembering something. "Look, I might not always be what this team needs. I'm a bit of a bastard. But this bastard cares just a little bit about this lot." Here he held up his fingers in almost a pinch. "And whether you like it or not, you're in it."

"Oh. Okay. I…I didn't mean to…"

The elevator jolts to a stop and you both watch the doors open. "C'mon." He presses a hand between your shoulder blades to steer you towards the office. "Let's finish this grub before it gets cold and that stupid shake melts over everything."

Your brain finally kicks back into gear and into the present when you step across the threshold of the office space. You find Kimiko and Frenchie curled up on the couch watching the TV, both looking a bit perturbed. Her sour expression is the first to change when she spots you, a smile unfolding as she bounds off the couch towards you. You hand her the shake, recognizing her sign for "thank you" before she clasps it with both hands. You often still need Frenchie to translate for you but you've been making steady progress in your interactions with her. "Enjoy," you tell her, momentarily wrapping her in a hug.

"Can you believe this bullshit?," Frenchie interrupts the moment, eyes still glued on the TV. Your ears recognize the news coverage of the supe that had slithered out your fingers earlier in the day. "Two months. Two fucking months of intel, following that asshole around. Just for some attorney to buy him a slap on the wrist. Merde!"

"Shut it off, Frenchie," Butcher snaps, shedding his coat to deposit on a chair. "Ain't listening to you bitch all night. Can't do nothing about it now."

Frenchie grumbles but turns it off anyway. Kimiko curls back into her spot next to him, happily working on her treat. You sort through the bag and set the rest of the food on the coffee table before settling in between her and Butcher.

"Thank you, Y/N, for bringing the food," Frenchie smiles at you as he encourages Kimiko to steal whatever she wants from his order. "And putting up with this pissy bastard to get it." Billy chucks a condiment packet at his face and flips him the finger in response, but Frenchie swats it away with a teasing grin.

"He ain't so bad," you shrugged, finally wrapping your hands around your burger. "We're all kinda pissy after today. Besides, he only bit me twice on the ride over. Didn't even break skin this time!"

Butcher flashes a conspiratorial smirk at you around a mouthful of food. "I'll fucking remember that." At which you remember what waits for you when the food is gone, and the other two retire for the night. Oops.

Kimiko glances at you and signs. Frenchie nods and swallows before saying, "She wants to know if he bit your knees and elbows. They're an awful pretty shade of maroon."

"Huh? Oh." You look yourself over and realize the jeans you wore had a hole in one knee, where, just as he had said, a solid red-tinged bruise peeked out. In an attempt to spare your shirt of stains you had also rolled up your sleeves, flashing the same shade on your elbows. You'd been pretty diligent at keeping them out of view up to this point. No need for them to start having the same train of thought Butcher had when he'd found out about them.

"You've been pretty beat up the last month or so and you're not even out with us in the trenches. You doing ok, mon amie?"

"I'm ok, Frenchie. I've been trying a new workout at home lately. And rearranging my apartment a bit." Part of you feels bad at how easy you lie to them. But when he and Kimiko just look at each other and shrug in acceptance, you practically feel Butcher's keen attention pull away, although he never moved his eyes from his dinner. There wasn't a sign that he'd even been paying attention to any of you but instinct said he was satisfied with your answer.

You try to focus on your food and its flavors. You try to focus on the conversation as it shifts topics. You try to focus on the jokes and banter that Frenchie initiates with Butcher. You just try to focus on anything other than how aware you are of him, and don't know how to feel about it.

Eventually the time comes and the two shuffle out the door, buying the excuse of you and Butcher staying late to follow up a lead. It's a go-to at this point and they seem to eat it up like the food they just ate, so neither of you elaborate any further. You waved goodbye as they step into the elevator, and only once they were out of sight did you close the door. When you turn around, Butcher is already standing, tilting his head to the furniture. "Let's not waste any time and move this shit. We gotta lot of work tonight."

It's become routine. You pair up together and shift the desks so as to prevent further scuffing of the floor. Then one of you moves the coffee table and the other follows behind with the rug. You had tried to get him to leave it in the first week, hoping for some kind of relief on your contact points. But he'd only gave you a smirk, yanked it further away, sat a chair just on its edge, and planted himself firmly in it. You hadn't bothered asking for even the slightest accommodation since.

Once the floor is clear you immediately sink down into the space. "Combat hip drill?"

"That's right," he says, leaning against one of the columns closest to you. "But slightly different. When you're up off the floor, you'll hold. Gonna give you a pop quiz. When you answer right, you'll go back to the drill unless I say different. Rinse and repeat."

"And if I get it wrong?"

"You'll find out, won't ya?"

"Ok…" You're curious at the change of pace but say nothing. You start, arms close to your chest, hips doing the work as you sit up. Then hold.

"What's your breakfall?"

"It's how you fall back to break your fall to minimize damage. Like if somebody pushed you to the ground."

"Show me."

You tuck your chin as close to your chest as you can, holding the slight curve in your back as you fall backwards. You stretch your arms out and slap your palms down as you make contact with the floor. 

Butcher nods. "Good. Drill." You shift up and start again, switching legs. You get through three more cycles before he tells you to hold the top again. "What's shrimping?"

"It's a hip escape. The movement helps you escape out of positions when you're on the ground."

"Breakfall and show me till I tell you to stop."

You almost cast him a look but follow through, falling back to the floor again. Once there you shift onto your side, place your bottom foot and hands on the floor and shift your hips back as far as you can, now resembling the shape of a shrimp. Then you switch sides and repeat, sliding across the floor. You reach several feet before Butcher calls out for you to turn round and do it back to where you started. Even though you know how crucial this move actually is, you still feel a little ridiculous as you move across the floor.

You barely reach your original spot before he tells you to drill again. Up, back, switch legs. Up, back, switch legs. "Alright. Shift gears. Do your gators, to the door and back. I know how much you love these," he drawls.

You suppress a groan, knowing it would only encourage him, and roll onto all fours. You shift to a push-up stance then place your left arm slightly in front of you. You keep your right hand where it is and slide your right knee up as close to it as you can, left leg straight. Then do a push-up, or at least your attempt of one that doesn't have you firmly kiss the floor. At the top you alternate sides, moving you slightly forward and do it again. Gator crawls, gator push-ups, whatever they were called, Butcher wasn't wrong - you hated them. They made your shoulders and arms and…Well pretty much everything burns.

You're mentally cursing at the tremble in your muscles and how loud your huffing quickly becomes when you hear movement next to you. You turn your head and almost fall over when you find Butcher moving alongside you. Only he makes it look far easier than you do. He dips low, arms and muscles supporting him with ease, one leg stretching long and lean behind him before switching with the other. But even in your position it's his back that catches your wandering eye. The hem of his shirt rides up each time he trades arms and the skin above his belt peeks out. Not even the loud print on the fabric could hide the deep line centered over his back, or the thick, flexing cords of muscle that go up his spine and flare broadly out from his shoulder blades.

"Wha…?," you croak. The second it leaves your drying mouth, you're glad that you can blame it on the exercise. He pauses at the top of the pushup to look at your confused face, just a half pace behind.

"Oi!" He scowls, and a ripple of envy at his fitness hits you as he balances enough to give a quick swat to your shaky bicep with the back of his hand. "Gonna be in trouble if I beat you back here! Move your ass!"

You want to ask him what the hell he's doing but you don't dare risk what happens if he outpaces you. Part of you wishes you were faster as you both reach and turn back at the door. But you take a little comfort in hearing the faint grunts even he makes in the effort of executing the exercise. You manage to push yourself to finish the gator crawls just a pace before him and roll onto the floor with a sigh.

"Don't get cozy there, yet. On your feet."

"Yes, sir." He casts a glare down at your sarcasm but lets you rise up off the floor and onto your feet without comment. "Alright. What's next?"

Butcher begins to remove his watch. "No more drills tonight. Now we start the nitty gritty. The advantage of a grappling art like jiu jitsu is it focuses on the ground being the playing field. The worst place to be for most, cuz most don't know fuck all to do when they get there. The disadvantage…" He places his watch on the nearest desk. "...is it's on the ground. Which means you gotta get you and your attacker there to use a lot of what I'm gonna teach you. And an old fashioned hip throw is a good place to start."

"Oh. Well that's great," you grimace. "Is this because I joked about your age earlier? I'm your ragdoll for you to throw around tonight then? Look, if you want an apology-."

"Actually, you're gonna throw me."

You blink. Then smile. Which quickly fades when he smirks back. "Um, Butcher, if you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly setting weightlifting records. And 'small' is not a word I would use to describe you."

"Ain't even got me drawers down and you're already praising me, love?"

You close your eyes and tilt your head back. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that."

"You don't need to be setting records," he continued, ignoring your exasperation. "You could throw MM if you fucking wanted to. That's the point of this. It's about technique. And this!" He steps forward and taps sharply between your eyes. "This right here is gonna be your biggest asset or your biggest problem. And you have to train it as much as the rest of you."

"OK, that's great Mr. Miyagi but -"

"If you're starting this early with that mouth of yours, you're gonna have a long night," he growls. "Cut the shit. And focus."

A smarmy part of you wants to sass back. Another part of you is hanging on to how the words rumbled out of his chest. You go with the part that knows better than to push buttons on an already edgy Billy Butcher, and tell the other parts of you to politely fuck off.  "Alright, sorry. I'm focused. How do I do a hip throw?"

He shifts a step back out of your space. "We start with you blocking a punch. Bring your hands up. Put one hand back like you're covering your ear. Most people throw first with their right, so use your left. Your elbow should be pointing at me and not the ground. That's good. Now when I throw that punch you want to step into me like you're driving that elbow in me."

"Step into you?"

"You can't throw me if you run from me," he teases. "Don't look at me daft, I ain't gonna throw it for real. We'll get there eventually." He imitates the punch and you take a step forward, your elbow just brushing his shirt. "Hold that. You see where my arm is at?"

"Yeah."

"How well am I gonna land that punch after you stepped into me?"

You peek at what you can see of his arm on the other side of your block.  "You…can't? Your hand is past me."

"Lookie there. She does catch on." He ignores your eyeroll and continues, "Sure, if I react quick enough I could change tactics and grab you instead. But you're not gonna give me the chance to do that. Take that hand by your ear and clamp it on my tricep."

"Like this?," you ask, putting your left hand on his upper arm.

"I mean clamp it. Grab me tight. Now step forward, slide that other arm under my left and grab the back of my belt. If you can reach my right hip, even better. You wanna be perpendicular to me."

You fumble a little but finally shuffle into the position. Your right hand has a firm grip on his belt, your hips perpendicular to his with just a breath of space between. The open v of his shirt is right at your eye level and a hint of dark hair and a dash of freckles peek out at you. Focus, focus, focus…

"Pin my right arm as close as you can with your elbow. You want it tucked against you so I can't pull it out. Good. Now hold. This right here," he taps his foot for emphasis, "is your T-position. If I tell you to start with T-position, this is it. You lost yet?"

"No," you shake your head. "T-position. I'll remember."

"You need to tuck your head in though. Even better if you put it against my shoulder. Bad to have your head straight up."

"Why?"

You see a flicker in Butcher's eyes for only an instant. And before you can blink, his left fingers are tangled at the back of your skull, tight against your scalp. You hiss at the sting from his grip alone. He doesn't yank. Instead he slowly pulls back, just far enough for you to start to see the ceiling. Your grip on his belt tightens as you become uncertain of your balance. Oh fuck, bad, oh fuck, bad, your brain repeats it like a mantra.

"That's why." He's grinning and you blink rapidly, trying to collect your thoughts. "If I get control of your head, well…" He tilts his chin and hums from his chest as if he were musing. "...I could pretty much do whatever I want with you from here."

"G-g-got it. Got it!," you swallow thickly, after finding half your brain. He let's go, dropping his hand back down to drape his arm across your back and you can't help but sigh in relief. You quickly tuck your chin, pressing your head into his shoulder. The scent of him is not helping what little brain you've retained.

"Now pay attention." And like that, it's as if it had never happened, except for the lasting tingle in your scalp and the mental whiplash. You're not sure just what had happened. But drill sergeant Butcher is back. "Keep a hold of my belt and my arm, and step your right foot in front. You need your hips in front of mine."

It feels a bit unnatural but you manage, your back now to Butcher as he leans over you at an angle. "We're not fucking up my back by staying here long," he grunts. "So do this next bit quick. Shift your tailbone about where my right hip is with bent knees to load me up. Then lean a bit, straighten your legs and you'll throw me."

"Butcher, I'm not sure -"

"I am. Now do it."

"I don't-"

"For fucks sake, woman, shove your ass back and throw me!"

You don't dare find out if he has some unexpected counter to this - like another grip in your hair - so you grit your teeth and quickly shift your hips. In a split second you feel the bend in your knees, the shift of his weight onto your hip, the lean -! 

Butcher lands solid on the floor but he continues into a roll away from you. You're still slightly leaned over when he reaches his feet with a huff. "See? Now was that so bloody hard?"

"That was…That was actually easy." It comes out a breath. And a smile creeps onto your face before you can stop it. Then you giggle with glee, "I actually threw you!"

"What did I tell ya? Eh?" Your grin must be infectious because his annoyance slips into a brief chuckle. "You actually have the advantage with that throw. You're shorter, gravity is on your side. It's basic fucking physics."

He sidles up to you and taps between your eyes again. "I told you this right here will make you or break you. You don't need to be some muscle bound bloke to throw people around. Or to keep them from doing it to you. Do you understand me now, love?"

You nod, still smiling, trying to keep the little victory from going to your head. Your ego got you caught in that mishap months ago. You would not let it happen again. Besides, there was more than enough of that to go around with Butcher, nevermind the other guys in the crew.

He places a hand on your shoulder, squeezes. Then slides his palm to the side of your neck. He locks eyes with you. His tone is serious but soft when he speaks again. "Stick with me. This shit don't always come easy. And you very well might even hate me for how hard on you I'm gonna have to be. But put up with me for a bit and I promise, any bastard that tries to lay hands on you again? They'll wish they never saw your pretty face."

"Even Homelander?," you half-joke.

You feel a subtle twitch in his fingers. His face darkens. "Especially that cunt."

"You think we could modify the throw? Maybe I can throw him over with his cape. Or maybe you can show me how to use it in a choke?"

He blinks and his scowl turns into a smirk. "Now you're speaking my language." He pulls back. "But don't get ahead of yourself. You did one little throw. Gonna take alot more than that to convince Hughie. And you gotta convince me before you even think of talking to him. Let's go again."

A thought rolls into your head. You shift on your feet and he stares at you when you hesitate to start up the lesson. "Butcher, about that. Will you vouch for me?"

"What?"

"You're not wrong. Hughie's a sweetheart. But he can be stupidly stubborn when he cares about someone. Even if I train for years, he might not listen to me. But if…if I have somebody to vouch for me, somebody that Hughie respects…?"

Butcher nods. "Suppose you're right. Hateful little shit, innit he?" You say nothing and he sighs. "Alright. After a while, you show me you know what you're doing, and that you know how to use it when shit gets real messy, then I'll vouch for ya. Sound good?"

"Good."

"C'mon then. From the top."

It takes a couple more times going through the motions but you start getting into the groove of the sequence. You alternate sides, start tripping less on your feet or Butcher's, and start finding your grips with less effort. It's especially easier without a tense moment of hair pulling, or heady thoughts. 

Of course, Butcher can't let you have all the fun. You do your due diligence, taking turns throwing slow punches at him and applying your breakfall techniques to soften your landing on the unforgiving floor. Which isn't much. You might have the advantage in gravity but he has experience. He throws you not with too much force but certainly enough speed to just make you nervous.

After a few minutes, he gives you a hand up off the floor and rolls his shoulders. "One more for you, then we're done for the night. Gonna do this one a little different though. Go through the sequence but hold when I tell you."

You give a thumbs up and assume the stance in front of him. He swings just a bit faster this time, right handed, and you move fairly easy. Block, catch the arm, grab the belt. You expect his command to hold when you get to T-position but it never comes. Assuming he must have forgotten, you follow through. You step in front, shift, bend the knees, load him up, ready to -

He grabs the top of your jeans.

"Hold!"

"What?!" 

You totter for a split second, start to lean back to set him -.

"I said hold," he growls in your ear, shifting his weight to force you forward again. Your feet automatically reposition to accommodate the sudden change to prevent a faceplant. "Put me down, you won't like my counter. And if you fucking drop me…"

A tiny part of your brain briefly registers how comical this must look. Oh, if the others were here now to see it. But it's a fleeting thought as your legs and back protest, getting louder by the second. Your muscles quickly start to shiver. "Cant!," you pant. "Butcher!"

"Can, Y/N. Hold."

You manage to turn your head to look him in the eye. He merely smirks like the devil. "You asshole," you grind through your teeth.

The seconds tick by long and slow. Your knees burn and quickly threaten to buckle. The shivers progress to shakes. You groan as the effort saps your low energy levels. Your grip on his belt grows sweaty. "Butcher!"

"Alright, thro-"

You don't let him finish, leaning forward and using your grips to compensate for the loss of force from your legs. It's sloppy but it gets the job done. You slip to the floor a second or two after he does and roll onto your back next to him, panting at the ceiling. You close your eyes as your equilibrium recalibrates. After a moment you open them again, finding Butcher sitting on his heels beside you.

"See?" He leans over and pats your cheek. "Told you, you could do it."

You stare at his stupid face and stupid hazel eyes. And that stupid fucking smirk. "You know when I said thank you? Earlier?"

"Yeah."

"I take it back."

Hours later, after the office is put back in its place, after Butcher lets you hobble home, you lay in your bed, half-dozing. Only half because when you begin to sink into slumber, behind your eyelids are images that leave an afterburn when they snap open again. Whispered playback in your ears to jolt you alert.

…firm hands pulling your hips back flush against his…

…do you understand me now, love?...

…your sheets sliding down a long, thick-muscled back as it flexes…

…I could pretty much do whatever I want with you from here…

Between the slow ache setting in your limbs to match your new bruises, and catching a lingering hint of Butcher's scent even though you had long since showered before bed, you had to wonder. Wondered how long could you really maintain like this? Would it be long enough?

…put up with me for a bit…

You turned a little more into your pillow with a groan. Then sighed, "You asshole."