#can you see why i decided to wait until i developed more info for her before sharing anything?

[kawaiichibiart]

I was going to talk about them together, but I want to develop more stuff for Sun!Spirit Yue before I talked about her, so I'll just talk about Moon!Spirit Zuko for now (:

While Agni is seen as the Fire Nation's main/biggest spirit, they hold Tui and La to a high standard. They're also important to them. Because it's a Nation made up of islands, of course they'll take spirits that would affect them seriously, they're not all morons like Zhao.

When Zuko was born, Ozai noticed he lacked the spark in his eyes that firebenders had. He was ready to toss him over the wall until Ursa and some sages talked him out of it. He gave his newborn son until the next morning to gain the spark. If he didn't, they would get rid of him.

Once he left, the sages told Ursa that being born when he was, the chances of Zuko being a bender were slim to none. They also noted how his breath felt irregular, as if he was struggling to breath. And ultimately told her that she should say her goodbyes because that baby was not going to make it through the night.

And so, Ursa began to pray. She prayed for the spirits to answer her. To save her son. Give him a chance at life. And she did this for hours until exhaustion caught up with her and she fell asleep. Certain that when she would wake up, her baby boy would feel cold in her arms. And if he was still alive, he'd lack that spark and she'd still lose him.

So imagine everyone's surprised when they wake up to Ursa's cry and rush to her room. And they see her and her son. Ursa has yet to notice them, but they're all looking at Zuko. Alive and hair turned a silvery gray.

One of the sages announces that Zuko had been blessed by Tui. The moon had blessed him. And Ozai is less than pleased. He demanda Zuko be thrown out anyways, as he had said Zuko had to have the spark in the morning. But Azulon was able to override his decision. This had to be a sign. A sign that the tides would turn in their favor. That they would have bountiful feasts. They had the sun AND the moon on their side now. Why else would the moon bless Zuko?

Because of this, Ozai doesn't treat Zuko like his son. He pretends he's a bastard, and that Ursa had slept with a Watertribe Savage behind his back. When Azula is born and shows signs of being a firebender, he dotes on her and claims she's his only child. Which leads to a rather conflicting environment for her to grow up in. She's constantly told Zuko is and isn't her brother. That he's a Savage's bastard child and that he is his father's son. She's a prodigy and he was blessed by a spirit upon his first night of being born. She started bending at a really young age and he had to further prove how much of a bastard he was when he began to waterbend.

So Azula and Zuko have a weird relationship. One parent acknowledges both as their children and the other only acknowledges one. One of them was prodigious firebender and the other was a blessed waterbender. Ursa tries to get them to spend time together and Ozai keep trying to keep them apart.

And then comes the day Ozai decides to present Azula to his father and ask him to be his heir (and the next Firelord). He doesn't bother to present Zuko, and later on, admits he saw no need to present the boy. Why would the Fire Nation ever accept a waterbender as their FIRELord? Azulon is enraged by his son's disregard for the moon's blessing and tells him to leave. He'd inform him of his punishment in the morning.

While they aren't sure where they stand in terms of being related, Azuka still tells Zuko what she overheard. And asks if he had any idea what the punishment could be. The best they could come up with is Ozai taking Iroh's place and continuing the siege of Ba Sing Se. However, they never got to find out, because Ozai had lied to Ursa and told her Azulon ordered him to kill Zuko. She didn't believe him, knowing he didn't care for him. And he knew that, which is why he then told her he would have Zuko killed if she didn't help him kill Azulon and leave. Leave and give up her children. He wished he didn't have to keep Zuko, but too many people would notice the blessed prince if he was absent. And so, Ursa killed Azulon and fled into the night after saying what she believed would be her final goodbyes to her children.

Ozai immediately named Azula his heir and continued to ignore Zuko. He had him moved into the servants area. He claimed what he always did, that he was a bastard. A child born out of wedlock. That Zuko isn't his real son. And everyone knows this isn't true, but none of them dare say anything. They stay quiet and do their best to keep Zuko away from Ozai.

When Iroh returns from his journey in the Spirit World, it's to his father being dead, Ursa missing, Ozai as the Firelord with Azula as his heir, and Zuko basically disowned and living in the servants quarters. He watches as his nephew fades into the background, as he learns his new place in the palace. He tries to pick up where Ursa left off in terms of helping Zuko and Azula connect as siblings, but Ozai sends her away to a prestigious all girls school and immediately takes over her lessons when she returns, thus making it impossible for the two to bond, and further sinking in the idea that Zuko is, in fact, a Savage's bastard child.

And then comes the day of the war meeting. Iroh enters and sees his nephew serving tea to the men there. Another servant is there as well, hands empty watching as Zuko likely does his first job. They begin to discuss things and how to further advance in the war. And the plan involving the 41st is brought up.

And just like in canon, Zuko speaks up against the plan. Only this time, because he isn't a firebender, because Ozai doesn't acknowledge him as his son, because he's not worthy of it, Ozai doesn't make Zuko fight in an Agni Kai. Why would he forsake a firebending duel so a waterbender could fight in it? Why bother giving him a chance to show his loyalty to the Fire Nation when he clearly doesn't have any. And before everyone in the room, he burns Zuko's face. He warns everyone not to say a word. That no one was to know of Zuko's permanent banishment. If anyone asked, he was simply sent away for protection.

He left, and just as he did, he told Iroh to inform Zuko that he would have until sundown to pack and leave. And Iroh is furious. He doesn't bother acknowledging his brother's words. He just carries Zuko out of the room and packs their bags while some of the servants do what they can to help the young boy.

At sundown, he leaves the palace with Zuko, refusing to let his nephew be banished alone. He's glad one of the servants was able to help him get a ship and a crew that was willing to leave the Fire Nation behind.

The first few weeks of Zuko's banishment were agonizing. From fever induced nightmares to Zuko's sudden fear of fire and needing a flask of water he could play with to calm down, it was a hard time. Iroh held his nephew when he told him he was banished from the Fire Nation with no way to return. While not a waterbender himself, he still taught Zuko. He isn't good, but he can do some things now. He helps Zuko get over his fear of fire and first chance he gets, swears to sends a message to Pakku asking him to train Zuko.

But before he can get that message sent, they're caught up in a storm. It's powerful and knocks them off course by several days. In fact, they're closer to the Southern Water Tribe now. And while, the chances are slim, Iroh decides they should see if any waterbenders survived and would be willing to teach Zuko.

They head towards the SWT when a large beam shoots up in the air. They think nothing of it, Iroh waves it off as likely an old flare, having learned that not all the FN ships had returned from prior raids. Since they were old, chances are they had little to nothing left of use and there was no point in finding it. It was likely that someone animal set it off by mistake.

They arrive and are met the remaining members of the SWT. They're weary of them and as soon as they lower the plank of their ship, one of them (Sokka) charged forwards with a spear.

But before he can even step onto the plank, the snow under him moves and makes him fall. He immediately blames Katara for this, because who else would do it? He charges forwards again and gets disarmed and beaten by one of the soldiers. The only one who's not wearing red, but rather white, only his golden eyes visible.

And then comes the question. Do they have any waterbending masters around?

Why would they ask that? Did they think more waterbenders had been born after the death of his and Katara's mom? Did they suspect she lied and just waited until now to get back at them? They deny having any waterbenders and say that even if they did, they would never tell them.

And that's when Aang shows up, knocking the soldier who had beaten Sokka earlier to the ground. And it's just:

Aang: Looking for me?

Zuko, getting up, hood knocked down, masked lowered: You're a waterbending master? You're just a kid!

Aang:...no? I, I thought you were looking for the Avatar!

Aang: and you're just a teenager!!

Katara: YOU'RE THE AVATAR?!

Meanwhile Sokka is having a crisis because oh sweet Tui and La, he's so pretty- (rip him when he arrives at the North Pole and experiencies it again with Yue)

But Aang still wants to know why they need a waterbending master. He also feels foolish for admitting to being the Avatar and wonders if he can play it off as him pretending when he sees the boy he'd knock over play with a ball of water.

Oh...

OHHH!!!

He was looking for master for himself!! Well, he made the offer to Katara, he could make it to this new kid as well. And so he does. The boy, Zuko as they learn from the older looking man who called him that, hesitates before agreeing. He leaves, saying he was going to get Appa, it'd be faster and more fun that way. But before he can, Katara says she's also going with him. To make sure nothing happens of course!! Of course.

He gets Appa and returns, happy to see Zuko and Katara seem to be getting along and talking about finally learning to bend from a master waterbender. The two of them and Sokka (who's reluctantly joining them) get on Appa.

The older man from before introduces himself as Iroh, Zuko's uncle. He thanks Aang for helping his nephew and let's him know that they'll be tailing them from a distance. Zuko has a map where Iroh had marked neutral ports they would dock at if they ever needed anything. Once they reach the NP, Iroh will lead the FN ship towards the Earth Kingdom and head towards Ba Sing Se. He'd appreciate it if he helped his nephew get there once they finished.

And the four head off. It's awkward and tense for a while before Katara asks Aang about being the Avatar and he tells them his story. How he never wanted to be the Avatar. But because he doesn't want to get further into it, he deflects her question to ask Zuko about being a waterbender and if he's from the Fire Nation.

And they learn, that not only was Zuko from the Fire Nation, he was the prince once. He told them how his mother had told him about his blessing, how surprising it was that Tui answered her prayers. How the man who was supposed to be his father claimed to only have one child, his younger sister and how as soon as the old Firelord, his grandfather, died, he immediately removed Zuko from the line of succession and moved him into the servants quarters.

He learned very early on that his father hated him and he hated him more once Zuko began to bend. How he'd tell him he was weak for being afraid of his own element after he almost drowned and frozen the water around him in his panic and managed to climb out. He wasn't allowed to bend so he always did it in secret and only really began to do so when he got banished. They had originally been planning on heading to the Northern Water Tribe so he could finally get proper bending lessons.

It certainly did explain his appearance anyways.

And now for some bullet notes:

Zuko doesn't go through his redemption arc in this AU. Because Ozai's made his stance perfectly clear, Zuko knows there's no point in trying.

For a while, Katara and Sokka think Zuko is the child of a waterbender and a FN soldier.

Ozai knows he can't actually disown Zuko, considering his blessing was made public. But he can send him away for safety, the public doesn't have to know he was injured already and might die from his injuries and will never return.

Katara and Zuko become friends a lot earlier. They bond over not having a master to teach them and having to teach themselves.

Azula's memories of Zuko definitely conflict with what Ozai tells her. She has memories of her mother with a silver haired boy by the turtleduck pond, urging her to join them. She remembers her mom insisting the boy was her brother. But...he looked so different.

Because his hair stands out so much, Zuko tends to hide it. Whether it's a hood, a scarf, so long as it's hidden.

Ozai ordered Zhao to see to it Zuko was actually dead. When news reaches them that the Avatar has returned, he tells him to capture him and bring him back to the FN, so Zhao is the one chasing Team Avatar.

Sokka joining reluctantly is all because of Gran Gran, who told him to go so he could keep an eye on the three. He's basically their babysitter and he's not really happy about it (he gets over it).

Because he spent some years living and learning from the palace servants, Zuko will help Katara do chores, which endears him to her enough to be claimed as her new best friend.

I'm going to leave there for now, next time I update about this AU hopefully I have a lot to say about Sun!Spirit Yue (:

[lukolabrainrot]

Long ask anon with an even longer ask (I truly don’t know how to make long story short, but I can do the reverse), sorry. I am dividing this in two parts in case you decide to post this, so it would not be such an essay.

Part 1. Intro

Something has been eating up at me for a while but I only recently gathered the courage to do anything more than lurking. I actually am quite new to this, mostly because I was not allowing myself to even get into this in the first place. I am a very chill person when it comes to celebrities, I truly couldn’t care less about their lives, don’t even follow them on SM (L and N included) (not that I use SM all that much to begin with), I don’t know why but it always seems strange for me to be invested in strangers’ lives. I am not big of a fan girl either, especially media wise, I am much more interested in books and have no patience for tv shows most of the time. All of this to say, this is unusual behavior for me, watching all of the interviews with repetitive questions (those poor actors having to repeat themselves over and over again), paying attention to actors (beyond just knowing their names).

Polin is one of the rare ships that captured my interest, so I was very excited to learn about s3 being them, and when the wait for even the slightest info seem to be dragging on endlessly those interviews served as a great entertainment. Until they were not, until I started noticing things I wished not to. What started as “oh, they are so cute, and charming, and their friendship is so endearing!” very quickly turned into “babes, WHAT THE F*CK DID I JUST SAW/HEARD?” At one point I was honestly thinking “did I miss something? Are they together? What is going on?” So I checked, out of curiosity nothing more, but found nothing OFFICIAL suggesting that (as in N nor L never claimed anything). So I moved on, watched the show, other interviews (my brows still rising at some points), and then post Part 2 premiere I saw the picture on IG.

Everyone on internet seemed to be screaming about Ls’ GF, and being absolutely vile to him, which I found so disgusting I immediately checked out of the situation and turned my attention back on fiction again. It would be insincere of me not to admit to a certain disappoint on such a development, but that was as far as it would go. Though I can also truthfully say that that girl was not giving me the best impression based on the picture, something just seemed off. I only saw one at that point, where it appeared as if they were holding hands, why did it seem off? Because L looked displeased, almost angry, his eyes averted from cameras, while she was boldly looking right on them smiling as if she was walking her red carpet. As I said that was that, just continued watching the show, reading Polin fanfiction, hung out on a Polin reddit account and some Polin Tumblr blogs. And then I stumbled upon your blog (it was already past papgate 2.0), and now I’m on this bloody ship, and can not seem to force myself overboard, because those two are so soulmate coded (and yes, I realize how cheesy that sounds).

What has been bugging me, is that most, if not all, in this fandom seem to be of the opinion that L is the primary reason why N/L are yet to develop into lovers phase of this friends to lovers arc. From outright blaming him to passive aggressively calling him a dummy for not going after N. And I comprehend that most of it comes from the presence of a certain adjacent. But putting aside the OBVIOUS, LOGICAL point that we, non of us, are privy to their real lives, and bts truth, I still don’t see where that point of view comes from. I know that everyone says L is most like his character, so perhaps part of it is projection of that, but for me it always seems that L is actually a Penelope of this situation. To me, he himself gives it away.

Same Anon... same!

I have never thought L was the hang up in this situation. I think N has been burned in love, is pretty closed off with this stuff, and a TOTAL workaholic. L DEFINITELY fell first (no one can convince me otherwise). L also seems to kind of be a hopeless romantic and public lover boy, which I don't think N is use to. But I feel like that is why they kind of balance each other out ❤️️

[thelazyhermits]

Any thoughts for the possibility of Yuu and Grandma Bucchi meeting?

Oh, absolutely! I want Yuu to meet Grandma Bucchi so bad since I love Ruggie and think his grandma will be cute like him but also super badass/awesome like Epel's grandma lol

Unfortunately, the chances of Ruggie getting a hometown event are pretty low, considering it's unlikely that there are hometown festivals, etc. where he grew up, and there's no way his family could afford to host anyone when they're just barely getting by as it is.

That's why I'm really hoping that Grandma Bucchi shows up in Book 7 at some point like Baul did cause that seems like our best chance to see her 🤞

Anyway, now it's time for me to stop babbling, so I can finally actually answer your question lol I put it all underneath the cut since I ended up writing a lot as per usual 😂

Okay, first off, I'd like to say that I think Grandma Bucchi isn't someone who's easy to impress/win over. You gotta earn her respect since she's gone through a lot over the years, and she won't get close to someone unless she's sure she can trust them.

She'd be especially like this when it comes to people associating with her grandson, although she trusts Ruggie's judgment since he's not the type who easily trusts people either, so whenever Ruggie starts talking positively about someone, she wouldn't immediately make unkind assumptions about them and would stay just wait to see how things play out before deciding how she should feel about whoever has caught Ruggie's interest.

Regarding Yuu, Grandma Bucchi first hears about her when Ruggie comes home for winter break 'cause Ruggie strikes me as the type who doesn't really talk about all the people at school when he's on the phone with his grandma. Instead, he focuses more on telling her that he's doing alright, eating well, etc. since he thinks that kinda info is more important.

Plus, he was totally worried that his grandma would tease him for spending so much time around a girl his age, which he had never really done before up until this point, and he really did not wanna deal with such an embarrassing conversation lol

However, the topic of Yuu can't be avoided when Ruggie gets home. That's because, in addition to bringing all that food from canon, Ruggie also has the Christmas present Yuu made for him, which he doesn't open until he gets home cause his hands were too full when she gave him his present right before he went home.

It's thanks to that Christmas present that Yuu makes a good first impression on Grandma Bucchi cause, in addition to making some cute hyena print socks for Ruggie, she also prepare lots of dishes/snacks and placed them in a magical bag, which she got from Sam, that has limitless storage.

Yuu made sure to prepare enough food that Ruggie could share with everyone back home cause she wanted to do something nice for all the little kids in his neighborhood, and she knew that Ruggie would share his food with everyone since that's how things work with hyena Beastman, which he had told her about in the past.

The fact that Yuu was thinking of not just Ruggie but everyone else back home impressed Grandma Bucchi, and she was even more impressed when she saw how well made the food and socks were since this is the kinda skill one develops after a lot of hard work, and Grandma Bucchi likes hard workers.

It's obvious that Yuu cares a lot about Ruggie, and Grandma Bucchi can tell her grandson has a soft spot for Yuu in return, although he tries to hide it from her. That's why Grandma Bucchi has Ruggie tell her all about Yuu cause she wants to hear all about this girl who has gotten close to her grandson recently.

Plus, as Ruggie feared, she also just wants to tease her grandson about him being so friendly with a girl, whom she says could potentially make a nice wife. Poor Ruggie lol 😂

Despite her teasing, Grandma Bucchi still has some reservations about Yuu, so she's not completely won over by this point. She still needs to meet Yuu and see her in person before she decides how she'll feel about her, although I think, even after that, it would still be a slow and steady development.

Regarding how exactly Yuu would meet Grandma Bucchi, since I can't see Ruggie getting a hometown event, I'm thinking the only way for them to meet is when Yuu is in Sunset Savanna working for Leona, like what was discussed in my Fairy Gala fic.

I could see Leona inviting Yuu to the Sunset Savanna during her first summer at TW since, even though they're still students by this point, they can still do some work during that time since a lot of work needs to be done to accomplish Leona's goals which won't be fulfilled quickly.

During that time, I could see Yuu paying Ruggie a visit, probably at his insistence so he can confirm Leona isn't running her ragged like he does to him lol And that would be when Yuu finally meets Grandma Bucchi.

This would also be when Yuu meets all the kids in the neighborhood who all love her cause of the stories they heard from Ruggie and most importantly the food she makes that Ruggie brings home for them lol

Overall, I'd say Yuu's first meeting with Grandma Bucchi goes well cause she's polite/respectful, and it's obvious how much Yuu cares about Ruggie.

Plus, Grandma Bucchi thinks you can learn a lot about a person from how they interact with children, and Yuu passed that test with flying colors cause she loves children and is really good with them, which is why the neighborhood kids became even more attached to her.

While this first meeting still isn't enough to completely win her over, Grandma Bucchi definitely thinks higher of Yuu than she does most people, so just as long as Yuu doesn't mess things up, which she won't cause she wants to earn Grandma Bucchi's respect/approval so she can continue being friends with Ruggie, things should continue to proceed positively between Ruggie's two favorite ladies ^^

[silentstaresfanficandfanart]

Hello hi good definitely night!

I just finished reading Halcyon and WOOO that was awesome! (Also I get the spino discourse now heheee).

I however noticed an issue: there isn't enough words. I wanted to keep reading. I want to keep reading of these guys. Where can I read more of Darling and Hare (and Hearts and Diamonds and Tiger and Wolf and *proceeds to name every character*)????

GOOD DEFINITELY NIGHT HELLO AND HOWDY TO YOU TOO!!!

WOO!!! im SO SO SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT pBTTHPPTH i hope the spinosaurus was to your taste <3 i know he was to lovettas- Hehehe- and OHO? is that so! my my well good news i do plan at least one big update to the fic near the beginning where you can get FAR more interactions with all the suits as Ciero sets up his little squad AND that means more interactions with several of the characters and I also plan a special scene with Acianne but im not sure yet on that one! As for where can you read more~ Ill have to work on that! I plan to make more books, but if you want more lore and info and stuff like that you can look through my blog on the Halcyon tag, and if you follow them youll probably see my other account thats specifically for Halcyon which has a lot of the early concept art and stuff in it! Which means MORE THEM!!!! Untill then though youll either have to make your own or wait~ sadly- heheh- though a friend of mine is working on a halcyon fic- we'll have to look forward to that! I hope you look forward to more Halcy- OH THATS RIGHT I DO HAVE SOMETHING YOU MIGHT LIKE I have a LOT of notes from the development of Halcyon and id be happy to share some fun neat changes that happened over the course of the books development!

Originally Acianne was a boy, but i decided I wanted to have more female characters 2. Heartbreaker had a perfectly good family wife, he only became like this after his wife died trying to save him from a superhero while he was on the job, she was a hero herself, and originally had love based powers, these were passed onto him and strengthened by her spirits love for him, and they were also passed onto Ciero! 3. Heartbreaker had a thing for Aciannes mother as she was very kind and polite to him and reminded him of his late wife, but understandably she had no interest in the man-

4. Cendre's conflict with his parents has been going on MUCH longer than he ever admits in the story and that's why during the spinosaurus thing he was glad he could blame those bruises on the spino 5. Hearts actually used to work at a zoo and was a very important figure in hyena conservation and they've always been his favorite animal! 6. The reason the younger siblings are a bunny, a kitten, and a puppy respectively, is because they're meant to represent the idea of "a future where things are more peaceful and calm" to contrast with their older siblings who are "the hare" (though shes actually just a bunny like her little brother- a tiger and a wolf!

7. Originally Cendre was going to get his powers saving a girl on a merry-go-round that caught on fire in a mall, and the girl he saved became a dear friend of his who went on to get into a fistfight with his parents in the hospital and she had to flee to not get arrested and she was the first person acianne didint kill for comitting a crime in front of her originally 8. Originally Ciero was actually an Ensemble stars oc and he wasn't supposed to go into halcyon at all but i loved his design so much i replaced the oc with another guy and made Ciero his own character : ) 9. Originally Acianne was the only main character, Ciero straight up just took over the entire story honestly, and im glad he did, he really was the heart of it- hehe- pun intended

10. Diamonds sibling group comprises of elemental vibes, her being earth, and her brothers being water, fire, and air. It was the fire sibling that died, and the only one i havent drawn a design for is air! He was killed by acianne while he was frankly, on an utter rampage, he's always had a LOT more energy and a lot less empathy than his siblings and Diamonds always was worried he was going to die.

11. Ciero has been banned from at least one craft store for "musical antics" and "unconsensually ballroom dancing with a mannequin" And one person was so angry about it they called the cops about it, Acianne wound up showing up instead because she listens to police radio calls and she had to drag him out by the ear for his poor behavior. He learned nothing from this incident.

[mooniety]

i'm bored so here's a little info dump about the metasusie siren au i made two months ago:

TRIGGER WARNING: extremely brief mention of suicide

Starting off with the original one (where Meta's a siren/serpent thing):

Susie lives in a village near the sea.

Haltmann is a wealthy merchant whose health is slowly deteriorating due to an illness he obtained after his most recent travel across the ocean which has caused him to fall into a coma.

Coping with her current circumstances, Susie starts to sing in an isolated area by the shore to let out her internal struggles & pain. She is not aware that the day she begins to do so, a funny sea monster (Meta) is currently causing ruckus in the area (eating fishermen).

Because Meta is near the shore having his meal of the day, he happens to hear Susie singing & due to his siren instincts, he's immediately attracted to the song & follows it to find Susie. After this, he begins to appear by the shore more often to solely listen to her sing (& terrorize the village more I guess).

After months of failure & now more than desperate to find a way to wake her father from his coma, Susie begins to believe in the village's rumors & myths, specifically one that states that if you sacrifice yourself to the ocean, your greatest wish will come true. (Just a reminder from your local responsible adult: Rumors & myths such as this are not real & I do not in any way advocate this. This is suicide.)

One day, while waiting for Susie to sing, Meta hears a large splash into the ocean, goes to check on it, & lo & behold, it's Susie.

Even though she technically is an easy meal of the day, he instead decides to save her as he is completely aware of what she's doing (not the rumor, just the suicide). Also he developed an extremely one-sided crush listening to her sing for a few months (Susie has never been truly aware of his presence up until this point; only knowing him as "Oh yeah, did you know there's a huge humanoid serpent in the ocean that eats humans & lives really close to us?" & dubbed by the villagers as "Sword of the Sea" as Galaxia is infused into his tail).

After Susie realizes she's alive, Meta immediately dishes out a deal with her: in return for saving/waking her father, he'll have her voice (YEP IT TAKES THE LITTLE MERMAID TURN KINDA). As in, she can't see her father because she's too busy singing for the fish man. This is where their purely contractual to lovers relationship starts!

Over time, Susie gets to know more about Meta & his life so his feelings for her are eventually reciprocated. Think of it as a Beauty & The Beast montage.

Anyways, Haltmann's all good & Susie has a lover yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also have a flipped version where Susie's the siren:

Meta is an infamous pirate, known as the "Knight of the Seven Seas." The Meta-Knights are his crew & his ship's obviously called the Halberd.

His current mission is to capture the Voice of the Sea (Susie) alive so he can get that sweet bounty on her head.

The reason why Susie is being hunted down/has a bounty is due to her rumored voice - seen as more of a commodity/prize than an actual living being.

He manages to easily injure & capture her, but notices that she's not really all she's made out to be - she's oddly not very hungry for humans & her domain looks more like an underwater memorial for someone rather than a graveyard of sailors.

This is because Susie's domain is an actual memorial to her dead mother, who died a long time ago after being accidentally killed by sailors. (Original characters?! Nah, too lazy to make them.)

After being captured, Susie explains that she's partially human as her father was a human merchant that would travel the seas to bring prosperity to other nations & she has been singing for years under the hopes that her father will reunite with her someday. However, after waiting for over a decade, he still hasn't arrived.

Pitying her, Meta decides to make a deal with her: if she helps him make her bounty, he'll help her reunite with her father. This is where their purely contractual to eventual lovers relationship starts!

During their adventure searching for Susie's father, Susie learns about nature beyond the sea (such as flowers) in which Meta explains that they're used to show respect to the dead (comparing it to how sirens show respect to their dead through treasure & valuables). In every island they visit, Susie collects more & more flowers, hoping to add them to her mother's memorial when she finally returns with her father.

To add in a bit of fluff, when Meta first introduces Susie to the concept of flowers, he places one in her hair, explaining to her that this is usually a gesture to indicate affection, but immediately doubles down stating that he just did it to educate her. (Haha, sure.)

Eventually, they both learn that Susie's father died a long time ago due to health complications as after learning about the loss of his wife, he attempted to search for his only family left, his own daughter (Susie) to no avail as his complications caught up to him before any possible reunion.

When they finally visit his grave, Susie decides to decorate his grave with all the flowers they collected over their previous journeys.

Anyways, Meta gets his money but also a lover yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hungnitan]

Penacony TB 2.3 Impression

This post contains spoiler so better you read from the game first before click below (lol)

As title quest said, it mostly just an epilogue and conclusion of Penacony story but fortunately it's not so aftermath like Luofu times (lol). And the stories mostly rotated around Jade Firefly which explained their banner in this version. But I kinda feels this epilogue chapter morelike "introduction for upcoming important character" especially from Jade

So yeah as these are just a conclusion, they really cut a chase here (lol). Here's some pointer from this version :

Okay I'm fine with aftermath but what's really happen to Gopher Wood ? We know from previous version that he suddenly died but who's killed him ?

THIS STELLARON HUNTER MEMBER BONDING SCENE IS ONE OF TWO PIECES OF FIREFLY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAT SHE NEEDED !! And good enough hoyo doesn't forget that (thanks god)

Another pieces I've been waiting for answer, message came after you finish this version TB, it explain the reason for Firefly three died from Elio prophet (which I cried in happy tears as hoyo don't forget about it or I gonna riot lol). Now I wondered just how much Stellaron Hunter controlled us since Luofu...

With these two important pieces of her character development, I'm pretty satisfied with her as character, maybe please just cut some slack of TB x Firefly hidden agenda onward (but TB hidden scene from Firefly PoV are so gold lol)

PS : I said will pull for her if she's dying for real, but since she's not means I gonna wait for her rerun someday~ (JiaoQiu here I comes lol)

Bonajade Exchange Shop, Jade personal shop which gets many mentioned in this version + from Jade character story. I feels we gonna meet that shop again onward or maybe include in SU occurance later.

Another Ten Stonehearts lore ! This picture tell us two important info. Ten stonehearts for now only have eight member while three already appeared, now it's only five member (include diamond here). The picture show another four member (2 male 2 female) while diamond still hidden. And from second picture it telling us Strategic dept definitely had more than just supporting Qlipoth as emenator, I definitely feels Fatui Harbringer vibe from them (lol)

And additionally Boothill Churin mini convo tell us that Strategic and Marketing dept are on bad terms. Which it's a suprise for me since I was thought they're only rival on company terms but with their convo I'm pretty sure there's more than that. There's a possibility Diamond pick stonehearts member came from planets Oswald destroyed so I'm sure there's something deeper within those two dept.

Transaction aftermath of story, as Robin basically helped Jade on smoothing IPC exchange with Family (which answered my little question regarding the reason Robin support FUA teams lol). Situation tells that Robin exchange it for Sunday's freedom, as Sunday still won't give up his dreams maybe we'll get more of his focused stories onward.

Gallagher note left in Express after you finished TB quest, I can't explain the sadness in this note... (rip you sh*tty douchebag hiks) So yeah it's really a goodbye for Penacony (4* characters lol)

But there's one more person to say goodbye forever, yups it's Acheron ! As maybe we won't see her onward (maybe until we founds device IX lol)

Scene when AE decided their next jump but intrupted by Black Swan, and funny enough she decide our next jump which is sus to me. Even Sparkle can dance within Elio's range, so why not Black Swan isn't ?

And is this just me or why I get Hunter x Hunter vibe from that scene (exploring the unknown line I mean lol)

My impression for Penacony as whole is just one line, it's so peaknacony ! (9/10 for me) Most question I got here got answered, AE members had some big role, and the one I love most is Penacony 5* definitely have more role from now on !

Black Swan basically go along with us, there's no way hoyo throw a lovely chaotic character like Sparkle so easily (I still waiting for Masked Fools focused stories lol), IPC basically an end game lore which means the one who had a grudge on them Boothill definitely into this too, while no mention need for SH members.

If there's negative things I guess it's too many intermission like game in middle of stories which is (funnily) annoying and I just can't throw this one, dating twice with Firefly ! Twice is just too much isn't (lol). I know I'm female so it's very annoy me, but can't you said the same if you male watch Churin's past twice ? I still into "once is more than enough !"

Plus this one is just me but one of my unanswered question goes to why Penacony guests are so... specific ? If you read their character story exclude Ratio Jade (we never know their past), they had one connection "clan's lone survivor" ! If one or two I can let it slide, but there's no way you gonna say coincidence for six people. IF hoyo had hidden agenda on this connection, I must applaud on them.

And if there's a problem onward, I think it's how hoyo can fix Luofu stories, maybe like Inazuma with music event (lol). But it definitely harder than Inazuma since it's rotten from the very core (TB quest and HCQ lore) while Inazuma just rot from branch (Archon quest only)

PS : please read adventure mission "clocking out", it's so hilarious and it's a side story involve many unexpected playable characters as center of story.

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[a-chlolix-blog]

Rabbit Huntress AU

Link to mini fic here

Realized I never actually made a full info post about this AU, my bad.

This AU takes place after Ladybug chooses Ryuuko for the Heart Hunter fight, instead of Queen Bee.

Later that day, Alix was given the rabbit miraculous from a different timeline (that no longer existed) from her future self.

She uses Burrow to realize what was gonna happen in this timeline.

- Hawkmoth would fight Fu for the Miracle Box.

- He'd then manipulate Chloé into giving up hope in Ladybug.

- He'd turn her into Miracle Queen and most of the team's identities would be revealed to him.

- Unlike the timeline where Ladybug and Chat Noir win, Hawkmoth Mayura and Miracle Queen win.

Later on when Hawkmoth and Mayura are busy with their fight with Jade Turtle, Bunnyx opens her Burrow, grabs the Miracle Box, and leaves. All without being noticed.

She then puts the Miracle Box where Ladybug Chat Noir and Ryuuko could see it and quickly hides.

The hero trio find the Miracle Box, sees that it has a note on it telling them to go help Fu, and they do just that.

Hawkmoth and Mayura are trying to get the location of the Miracle Box out of Jade Turtle (unaware that he doesn't know where it is), until Ladybug shows up Chat Noir and Ryuuko.

While those three are fighting the two adults, Bunnyx decides to pay a noticeably upset Chloé a visit.

Chloé, seeing Bunnyx for the first time: Oh great ANOTHER new heroine! Did Ladybug send you to rub it in my face?!

Bunnyx: Actually, Ladybug doesn't know I'm here. I actually wanna talk to you, Chloé.

After finding out this newer heroine wasn't sent by Ladybug, she starts crying.

Chloé, with tears running down her face: Why won't Ladybug give me another chance? I know I've messed up, but I'm trying my hardest to do better and she STILL doesn't want my help.

Bunnyx: Chloé...

Chloé, wiping her tears: Maybe I am useless to her. Even after I got the Bee Miraculous, I still continued to be awful to others and get them akumatized.

Bunnyx: Hawkmoth's the one akumatizing people, Chloé.

Chloé: Yeah, but I'm clearly no help... of course Ladybug wouldn't let me be Queen Bee again. I can't be a good person to save my life.

Bunnyx: Chloé, you can still become a good person without a Miraculous.

Chloé, shouting at her: HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?!

Bunnyx, surprisingly calm: I'm a Time Traveler. It's kind of my job to know. And I know for a fact you're gonna be an awesome person in the future.

Chloé was so shocked to hear that from Bunnyx that she started blushing.

Meanwhile after Hawkmoth and Mayura got away, Jade Turtle was safe.

Ladybug still had the akuma in her yo-yo.

She purifies the butterfly, frees it, uses Miraculous Cure to fix everything, tells Jade Turtle she'll explain everything (she can), and leaves with Ryuuko.

Chat Noir gives him the Miracle Box (that was kept hidden) and leaves.

Having to check in on Fu and the Miracle Box, Bunnyx opens her Burrow.

Bunnyx: I gotta go now, Chloé. Think about our talk whenever you're feeling down, okay?

Chloé, reaching out to Bunnyx: Wait! I don't know your name.

Bunnyx: You can call me Bunnyx. *goes into her Burrows and closes it*

After day Chloé became "secretly" smitten with Bunnyx.

Longing to see her again. Longing to be saved by her again.

While Team Miraculous were coming up game plans now that Ladybug was guardian, Chloé just wanted Bunnyx to show up in the heroes' line up.

In her heart she knew no one would believe a mysterious super heroine visited her on her parents' twentieth wedding anniversary.

So she keep this secret to herself. Thinking of what she could do to her when she saw her again, wondering what her favorite snacks could be (besides carrot sticks of course).

While she is aware of Chloé's crush on her alter ego, Alix is more focused on studying her Miraculous and it's powers.

She believes that Chloé's crush on Bunnyx will go away, like when the blonde had a crush on Ladybug.

She's unaware that Chloé's feelings for Bunnyx have developed in something much stronger.

Sure Bunnyx made brief appearances on Ladybug's team, but only when the world was ending.

Chloé, internally: Agh! Bunnyx is probably out there right now and my dad won't let me see her?! What, do I need to get akumatized to get her attention?!

Of course Hawkmoth's more than willing to take full advantage of a love struck girl by promising her the girl of her dreams in exchange for Ladybug and Chat Noir's Miraculous.

I've came up with two akumatized forms for Chloé in this AU.

Hare Huntress (Queen Banana Replacement)

- She's wearing a futuristic hunter outfit with a face mask that covers her eyes and nose.

- She has the same color scheme as Bunnyx.

- Her weapons are a bow and an unlimited amount of arrows.

- If she shoots a Miraculous Wielder with one of her arrows and it hits them, they'll freeze in place. Her arrows are able to faze through buildings and other surfaces. They also track down currently miraculous welders.

- Even without her weapon, she's really strong and fast.

- The akuma is located in mask she had made to go with a more feminine version of Bunnyx's costumes she also had made.

Queen Alice (Penalteam Replacement)

- She wears a dress that a fusion bewteen Alice's dress and the Queen of Hearts' dress from Alice in Wonderland.

- Her eyes are pink, she wears a red tiara with a gem that in the shape of a pentagon (like symbol for the Rabbit Miraculous) in the center of it.

- She has the ability to transform any object and person into want she wants with just her scepter. Like Le Grand Paris into a castle, people into her minions, Bunnyx into her "perfect queen", etc.

- If she hits you with her scepter, you'll end up in her dungeon.

- She uses her powers to get Ladybug and Chat Noir's attention by broadcasts her abilities live on TV, telling them if they don't get her Bunnyx, she'll turn all of Paris into her minions.

- Her akuma is located in an Alice in Wonderland book she has hidden in her castle.

Alix feels bad about Chloé getting akumatized because of her desire to see Bunnyx again.

But she's willing to save her as Bunnyx, if she has to.

Hopefully you'll all enjoy this!

[effei-s]

What shatter-me Warner would do.

The fastest character assassination I’ve ever seen.

Here’s the thing: Warner from original trilogy had character arch. More important: he was a character.

He was mean, villainous, cold, cruel murderer, with daddy who basically bought him regency (like come on, if it wasn’t for Anderson no one would even think about giving him that position; n for nepotism), but he also was deeply traumatized and abused his whole life and had little to none normal human interactions. I loved that fact that the only good thing he did (killing Fletcher because he was abusing his family) resolved into a complete catastrophe (Anderson killing children and wife) because Warner didn’t think it through. He tried to do the right thing and failed miserably, because he was more concerned with making a spectacle for Juliette. And after that he still had the audacity to paint himself as a hero who saved poor family from terrible tyrant in Ignite me.

I didn’t expect him to act and think like a human being. He didn’t need to act like a normal human. Warner gas lighting Juliette in the first third of ignite me is Warner’s thing to do. Him yelling and throwing tantrums and making scenes in Unravel me is Warner’s thing to do. Him forcing Juliette to do things she doesn’t want and traumatizing her in the process in Shatter me is Warner’s thing to do. Him wanting to torture Adam to death is Warner’s thing to want.

There’s a few reasons for this:

a) he doesn’t know how to communicate with people other than giving them orders or making threats;

b) he truly believes that he’s in the right here (he doesn’t see himself as a bad guy in Juliette story, more like a knight on a white horse);

c) he’s physically unable to be honest with himself and always has someone to blame for his own mistakes and failures;

d) he’s ‘results justify the means’ kind of guy.

Changes for good, with trauma that deep, when you basically don’t have a moral compass, don’t happen over night.

Was his ignite-me arch made sloppy? Yes. Everything was too info-dumpy and too convenient (Juliette forgetting that Warner was going to torture Adam to death; Juliette feeling that she’s the one who needs to apologize; Leila’s entire character used only for a sob story; Adam turned into a douchebag so Warner would look a more suitable love interest, etc). But it still was an arch. And the finale of ignite me was so open I really could imagine that, little by little, in the future, he will start to trust people more and really gonna help Juliette and co to make the world a better place. And his redemption arch wasn’t finished in the slightest, and I would even say that it was only the beginning of it, but it was implied that things will get better from there (the most important part of that being him genuinely wanting to make things right with Adam and James; he’s the one who makes the first step and initiate the bond).

So what went wrong in new three books? Ehm… everything, to be honest. Instead of developing a character that was already there, she decided to give him a new personality. Actually it can be said about every single one of characters, but Warner just happened to be the biggest victim of them all.

Let’s look at Restore me.

Okay, we have his pov, and I never thought I would say it but… Warner is kinda dumb. He’s supposed to be this military strategy genius, someone who knows how RE works from within and… it turns out that he just as clueless as Juliette. More than this, we never actually see him do ANYTHING except fucking Juliette. And for some reasons he never helps Juliette with her work??? There’s so much paperwork and instead of helping her to sort though it he’s… just not there???

Those stupid long monologues about how she’s capable to do anything mean nothing if he doesn’t actually help (as we can see at the end of restore me, when Juliette gets captured).

That fact that he doesn’t immediately check if Castle’s words are true? And instead of helping Juliette with Haider (telling everything he knows about him and his family, preparing her for the dinner) he fucks her??? This is a dumb bitch shit. And maybe you didn’t noticed but Shatter-me Warner wasn’t a dumb bitch.

After all, there’s a simple reason I never wanted the job of supreme commander myself—

I never wanted the responsibility.

It’s a tremendous amount of work with far less freedom than one might expect; worse, it’s a position that requires a great deal of people skills. The kind of people skills that include both killing and charming a person at a moment’s notice. Two things I detest.

Remember shatter-me Warner who wanted power because power meant that he could have control over his life? Remember shatter-me Warner who wanted to work with Juliette as a team to change the world? Yeah that’s him now.

No personal ambitions allowed when you’re a walking dildo, I guess.

Off the topic, but Mafi really enjoys making Juliette stupid as fuck:

“Oh, yes, of course,” she says, remembering. “I’ve gotten a bunch of letters about that. I didn’t realize it was such a big deal.”

Let's continue.

Hurting Haider would be enough to start a world war.

Warner says and then Juliette threatens Haider, a foreign official on a diplomatic mission, and instead of being even a little bit worried and think about possible consequences, Warner thinks this:

But I can only smile at her. I want to scoop her up and carry her away. Take her somewhere quiet and lose myself in her.

Okay, I guess it’s official, there’s sperm inside of his head instead of brain cells. I can’t find any other explanation for this clownery.

Shatter-me Warner would… Shatter-me Warner won’t be in this situation in the first place.

Someone tries to kill Juliette and Warner does… nothing about it. He never goes to check the body of the assassin himself. He thinks that Nazeera hides something and he still allows her to go around and doesn’t even interrogate her when Juliette says that Nazeera was there at the moment of the attack. He doesn’t find it even a little bit suspicious? That guy who had tremendous trust issues in the original trilogy? Remember him? Yeah, that guy. Shatter-me Warner would lock Nazeera and Haider up and demanded answers. Shatter-me Warner would be angry as fuck, and would try to kill Kenji with his bare hands, because Kenji was stupid enough to leave Juliette alone. Shatter-me Warner wouldn’t stop until he had answers (and the head of a person who wanted to kill Juliette on a plate).

New Warner is too busy feeling sorry for himself to actually do anything about it. And after one chapter it’s completely forgotten, like that fact that someone tried to kill her is not important at all.

And then Castle enters the picture with his stupid and sloppy info-dumping (I guess Mafi never heard of ‘show don’t tell’ rule). And says this:

“She can’t lead this resistance,” he says, squinting at something in the distance. “She’s too young. Too inexperienced. Too angry. You know that, don’t you?”

and if that wasn’t enough he also says this:

“It should’ve been you,” Castle says. “I always secretly hoped—from the day you showed up at Omega Point—that it would’ve been you. That you would join us. And lead us.” He shakes his head. “You were born for this. You would’ve managed it all beautifully.”

AND HE’S STILL ALIVE AFTER?

This is a fucking treason right there. And Warner A-OKAY with this.

Shatter-me Warner would strangle him right there. Or better yet, he would go along with this until he has 100% evidences of Castle’s betrayal and then he would kill him. Or he would kill him simply because Castle was withholding important information and earlier in books he put Juliette in a great danger by sending her to Anderson without telling her the truth (unravel me).

But not this Warner. New Warner is far more concerned with fucking Juliette then helping her or looking for a way out of this situation (because now he has dick instead of a brain).

After my father’s revelation, my thirst for information became suddenly insatiable. I needed to know more—who these people were, where they’d come from, how much we’d known—

WHERE AND WHEN DID WARNER IN PREVIOUS BOOKS DISPLAY THIS?

When I say that Mafi simply forgot her own characters this is what I mean. Warner from original trilogy didn’t give a flying fuck about them. He thought that they were weak and stupid.

I will lose her.

And it will kill me.

He said this shit and after he nearly had a panic attack because he imagined her dating someone else? Oh, come on, how more pathetic can he get?

There are words for this kind of behavior: toxic codependency.

Oh wait wait! I know! This is not Warner! This is Edward Cullen disguised as Warner! The mystery is solved!

Oh, he fucks her again. Apparently it’s the only thing he’s good at. What a character! The layers! The complexity!

And then Lena came into the picture.

Until that moment I was more or less okay with Warner. Yes, I was very confused, but I was ready to give Mafi benefit of the doubt. He lost his father and was dealing with grieve. We all can act out of character in the face of a tragedy or drastic changes.

“Why do you keep pressing this? Who cares if I’ve been with other women? They meant nothing to me—”

And there I felt in my guts, I’m not gonna like what next to come.

Haider was exhibiting suicidal tendencies. Self-harming. And I got really scared. I called Warner because I knew Haider would listen to him.” She shakes her head. “Warner didn’t say a word. He just got on a plane. And he stayed with us for a couple of weeks. I don’t know what he said to Haider,” she says. “I don’t know what he did or how he got him through it, but”—she looks off into the distance, shrugs—“it’s hard to forget something like that.

Oh, so Warner's words about how he never had any real interactions with anyone before Juliette were bullshit. About how he doesn’t understand people were also bullshit. About how Juliette was the first person who was not afraid to speak with him freely were also bullshit. Because all of the sudden he can help someone heavily depressed. Someone with suicide tendencies? Someone who harms himself? And now he has an ex-girlfriend who’s ready to beat the fuck out of him and calls him mean words (she clearly doesn’t fear him)?

Now his entire character in the first trilogy doesn’t make any sense. And his excuses don’t make any sense.

Bravo, Mafi! Bravo! This was the fastest character assassination I’ve ever seen.

She says that Lena was in love with him—really in love with him—but that Warner broke her heart, that he never treated her with any real affection and she’s hated him for it.

Oh, so he’s not only stupid and absolutely useless, he’s a fuckboy. And if there’s one thing I HATE, it’s fuckboys.

There’s a big-big-big difference between someone who has one-night-stands and THIS SHIT:

“You’re upset, I understand. But it’s not my fault you feel this way. I don’t love you. I never have. And I never led you to believe I did.”

“She and I,” he says, “it was—we were nothing. It was a relationship of convenience and basic companionship. It meant nothing to me. Truly,” he says, “you have to know—if I never said anything about her it was only because I never thought about her long enough to even consider mentioning it.”

“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t two years of anything serious. It wasn’t even two years of continuous communication.” He sighs. “She lives in Europe, love. We saw each other briefly and infrequently. It was purely physical. It wasn’t a real relationship—”

So he despised her but used her for sex? WOW. Cool. He can go and trip over a fucking knife or fall out of the window for all I care.

“Everything in my life was different before I met you,” he says. “I was lost and all alone. I never cared for anyone. I never wanted to get close to anyone. I’ve never—you were the first person to ever—”

And how exactly he was able to help Haider with his self-harm then??? If he didn’t CaRe for anyone before Juliette?

This was the moment when Warner from original trilogy died in agony.

Okay, let’s see real quick what we have in Defy Me:

He thinks about escape but never really does anything to escape;

(anderson is the one who opens his cell;

he stands in front of a guy who murdered his mother and doesn’t even think about her, yeah I can see how important she was for him;

/again, shatter-me Warner would probably demanded answers, but not walking dildo, walking dildo cares only about Juliette. his excuse in ignite me 'i did it all for my mom' doesn't make any sense now, because he actually doesn't give a flying fuck about her/

he gets captures one minute after he “kills” Anderson;

nazeera is the one who gets him out of there;

super soldier taught his whole life how to survive, everyone. useless as fuck)

He doesn’t know anything about jewelry.

(super ooc, i know what Mafi was trying to do here: she tried ‘sherlock holmes doesn’t know that earth revolves around the sun’ thing Arthur Conan Doyle did, but the problem is WARNER IS A FASHIONISTA, or he was).

He wants to get married because…???

He sees a woman who tried to kill Juliette and he’s a-okay with staying at her place, because she said that it was actually a message (???).

Castle is still alive.

Nazeera who knew all this time about Anderson and was working for him is also alive and well.

Oh and he doesn’t care about Anderson being alive and being a real threat to Juliette (fucking her is more important for him, as usual).

His complete disregard for Juliette’s safety only makes me hate him more with every new book.

Imagine me.

First and foremost: don’t call imagine-me Warner shatter-me Warner. Don’t insult shatter-me Warner like that. With shatter-me Warner Anderson would have to try very hard to get to Juliette. It would be ‘Warner made 100 back-up plans, but Anderson knew him too well and created 101 plan and that’s how he managed to win’ kind of situations.

But walking dildo is too busy feeling sorry for himself (as usual), he just sits by her bed FOR TWO FUCKING DAYS, doing absolutely NOTHING to make sure she’ll be safe.

Nooira says that Juliette should be killed and she’s still alive for some reason.

He’s entire persona is that he’s rude to people (but not bbc’s sherlock holmes kind of rude, when he’s unbearable dick but he’s actually smart and really gets shit done, so we can tolerate him). He’s just rude.

He doesn't care about Adam or James's wellbeing (remember Ignite me Warner who really wanted a family? Yeah that's him now).

But he has gruppies now, because he’s hot and everyone in the sanctuary wants to fuck him.

Oh and he proposed to Juliette. HE PROPOSED. THEY ENGAGED! DO YOU HEAR ME??? THEY GONNA BE MARRIED! HE PROPOSED TO HER! AND SHE SAID YES! THEY GONNA MERRY!

Because god fucking forbid we forget about it.

(mafi really thinks that her readers have the mental capacity of a golden fish, huh?)

I lost count how many times walking dildo implies that he's gonna kill himself if Juliette is not with him (disgusting).

Then our walking dildo cures Juliette by the power of petting (it’s not power of love, lads and gents; you want to see love go watch defenders on netflix; mafi already copypasted elektra’s arch from that show into imagine-me Juliette, you can do yourself a favor and see how this trope can be executed without borderline on sexual assault petting scene).

18-old girl marries a fucking sociopath believing he’s actually a good person.

(we all know how shit like this ends, people like that don't change; and this 'he's different with me cuz i'm very special and i'm gonna teach him the right way' it's really harmful message considering that the audience of those books are mostly teenage girls).

Trust me, there's nothing revolutionary in this trope, it's tale as old as time.

Here's the thing, good written character always defined by connection to other people: friend, lovers, enemies, family, foes, acquaintances, even some random strangers. It's the easiest way to establish what kind of person they are.

Walking dildo doesn't have any of that because all of his "character" revolves around Juliette. He's not a person anymore. By the end of Imagine me he doesn't have friends (his relationships with Kenji or Haider non-existent), no family connections (no talks with Adam or James), even enemies or foes or even people that don't like him (because everyone wants to fuck him, because being hot is his only character trait).

His only family and friend is Juliette. And you know what? It's fucking boring, overdone and lazy as fuck. And insulting to the character he once was.

No redemption arch, no character arch at all.

Happy end.

[peachscribe]

peach’s summer book list

i had a lot of fun compiling the list of books i read during the 20-21 winter, so i decided i would do a summer one as well! i still have a lot of books i own but haven’t read, so im definitely not lacking in material

if you didn’t see my winter list, how my book list works is basically like this: i read a book that i own but have not previously read, write a short summary immediately after finishing the book, write down my thoughts on the book, and then provide a rating for the book. i also might include background info on why i read this particular book/feelings about the author, but that depends on the book. that’s how each entry works

without further ado, let’s get started!

1. Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith

okay so i absolutely adore another book by andrew smith (written after grasshopper jungle) called the alex crow. it’s one of my favorite books of all time, so naturally i wanted to see if grasshopper jungle would make me feel similarly. just like the alex crow, grasshopper jungle’s plot is. so fucking weird. it stars austin szerba, a teenage polish kid who lives in ealing, iowa, and is often sexually confused regarding his girlfriend shann and his best friend robby. and in ealing, iowa, austin and robby accidentally and unknowingly unleash an unstoppable army of huge six-foot-tall praying mantis bugs that only want to do two things: fuck and eat. and i just have to say: andrew smith’s got an absolutely dynamo writing style. alex crow is similar, where it’s a book about kind of everything all at once, framed in a moment centering around teenage boys. it’s fantastic, and it’s more than a little gross, and i love it. this book made me feel so many things, and i thought austin was such an amazing narrator and main character to identify with. this book has it all: shitty teenage boy humor, fucked up science experiments, and poetic imagery that will make you want to cry. and explicit lgbt characters.

412/10 andrew smith what do you put in your water i just want to know

2. Burn by Patrick Ness

patrick ness has written a plethora of some of my favorite books (such as a monster calls, the chaos walking trilogy, and the rest of us just live here) so when i saw this one in the store i knew it would be a great one. burn is an alternate history fantasy that takes place in 1957 frome, washington, during the height of the cold war, and it begins with a girl named sarah and her father hiring a dragon to help out on their farm. but there’s not just dragons, farm living, and cold war tensions; there’s also a really shitty small town cop, a cult of dragon worshippers and their deadly teenage assassin, a pair of fbi agents, and a prophecy that sarah’s newly hired dragon claims she’s a part of. i think eoin colfer’s highfire was on my winter list, which also featured a story that included dragons and shitty cops, so when i first began burn i thought it was funny to have two books that had both things. you know, if you had a nickel etc etc. but that’s really where the similarities end because burn is entirely it’s own monster (dragon). burn is entirely invested in its world, and its fascinating. not only that, i had no clue where the book would take me next. there were so many surprises and amazing twists that honestly just blew me away. this book also includes beautifully written complicated discussions on family, race, and love - it features interracial and queer romances as the two most prominent romance plots which was such a nice surprise from a book i wasn’t expecting to have that kind of representation. this book is witty, fast-paced, and a very heartening read - i absolutely adored it.

9/10 dragons and becoming motivated by the power of love and friendship are so fucking cool

3. As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann

i hate this book! as meat loves salt is a historical fiction novel which takes place in seventeenth century england, which is going through a grisly civil war. the protagonist, jacob cullen, is a servant for a wealthy household and is engaged to another servant in the house. but due to certain events that are almost entirely jacob’s fault, he flees the house and is separated from his wife. from there, he joins the royal army and meets a kind soldier, ferris, and the two become fast friends. jacob and ferris’s relationship begins to bridge past friendly, and jacob struggles with his homoerotic feelings as well as the growing obsession and violence inside him. also, they try to start a colony. listen, i don’t know how to describe the book because so much happens, but it basically just follows jacob and all the terrible decisions he makes because he is, truly, a terrible person. ferris is kind and good, and jacob is scum of the earth. he sucks so bad. the entire time i was reading this book (which took absolutely so long), all i wanted was for jacob to just get his ass handed to him. i wanted to see him suffer. and it’s not like i just personally don’t like him - i believe the book purposefully depicts him as unsympathetic even though he is the narrator. i did enjoy the very in depth and accurate portrayal of what life would’ve been like in seventeenth century england, and i think it was interesting to read a character that is just the absolute worst person you’ve ever encountered and see him try and justify his actions, so if you enjoy that kind of thorough writing, then this book would be perfect for you. however, i did not see that bitch ass motherfucker jacob cullen suffer enough. i’d kill him with my bare hands.

2/10 diversity win! the worst man on earth is mlm!

4. This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab

i know ive had a friend tell me how great one of schwab’s other book series is, but truthfully i bought this book because the cover is sick as hell and it was on a table in the store that advertised for buy two get one free, i think. something like that. anyway, this savage song takes place in a future in which monsters, for whatever reason, suddenly became real and out for blood in a mysterious event nicknamed the phenomenon. august flynn is one of these monsters, but he takes no pride in that fact and only wants to feel human. kate harker is the daughter of a ruthless man and is trying her hardest to be ruthless, too, but deep down she knows it’s just an act. their city, verity, stands divided, and kate and august stand on either side - but when august is sent on a mission to befriend kate in the hopes of stopping an all out war, the lines begin to blur. this book rules. august and kate are such interesting and dynamic characters, and the narrative is familiar while still being capable of twisting the story around and taking the feet out from under you in really compelling ways. this savage song is part of the monsters of verity duology, and i can’t wait to dive into how the story continues and finishes.

11/10 sometimes you can judge a book by it’s cover

4a. Our Dark Duet by Victorian Schwab

this is the sequel and finale for this savage song and i’d figure i’d update everyone: fantastic ending, beautiful, showstopping, painful.

12/10 loved it and will definitely be keeping an eye out for schwab’s other books

5. White is for Witching by Helen Oyeyemi

oh boy. okay. white is for witching is about a house, and it is about the women who have lived inside of it. when her mother dies abroad, miranda silver begins to act strangely, and there’s nothing her father or her twin brother seem to be able to do about it. she develops an eating disorder and begins to hear voices in the silver family house, converted to a bed and breakfast by miranda’s dad; and she begins to lose herself in the house and the persistent presence of her family legacy. white is for witching switches perspective dizzingly and disorientingly between miranda, her twin eliot, miranda’s friend from school named ore, and the house itself. this story is a horror story as much as it as a tragedy as much as it is a romance as much as it is a bunch of other things. oyeyemi brings race, sexuality, nationality, and family into this story and forces you not to look away. this book is poetry.

(like i mentioned briefly, this book heavily deals with topics of race and closely follows miranda’s eating disorder. read responsibly, and take care of yourselves)

15/10 this book consumed me and i think i’ll have to read it another 10 more times to feel it properly

6. These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong

okay. okay. strap in for a ride. these violent delights is a romeo and juliet style story, taking place in glittering 1920’s shanghai. the city stands divided - not only between the foreign powers encroaching on chinese land, but also between the scarlet gang and the white flowers, who are at the height of a generations-long blood feud. juliette cai, heir to the scarlets, has recently returned from four years abroad and is determined to prove herself ruthless enough to lead. roma montagov, heir to the white flowers, is standing strenuously on his place as next in line due to a slip up four years prior and is desperate to keep hold of his title. and in the midst of juliette and roma’s burning history with each other threatening to combust, an unnatural monster lurks in the waters of shanghai, loosing a madness on scarlets and white flowers alike. this book has it all - scorned ex lovers, political intrigue, deadly monsters, and all set on a glamorous backdrop of the roaring twenties. i absolutely was enraptured by this book and the way it plays around the story of romeo and juliet so well that it easily became it’s own monster, but with the punches and embraces of something classically shakespearan. gong does just an absolutely breathtaking job of fitting this fantastical story amid the larger world of shanghai and the real life historical events that had shaken the city to its core. completely immersive and outstandingly heart racing.

17/10 i was chewing on my fingernails for the last thirty pages and will continue to do so until the sequel is released (our violent ends, 16 nov 21)

7. The Antiques by Kris D’Agostino

you ever heard of the american dysfunctional family story? this is most definitely that. at the same time george westfall’s cancer takes a turn for the worse, a hurricane hits the east coast, and suddenly all at once the issues of his health, the hurricane, and all three of his children’s achingly dysfunctional adult lives are crashing into each other. reunited by george’s death, the westfall siblings have to face their grief, each other, and the problems in their own lives they attempted to put on hold while planning their father’s memorial. this is a nice story about grief and loss and love and somehow finding the humor amidst it all.

(this book does include a depiction of an autistic child who does experience several pretty bad meltdowns due to ignorant people around him not understanding how to cater to his needs. im not an authority on what depictions are or are not harmful, but i do believe this depiction is ultimately loving and well-intended.)

7/10 it made me laugh and cry and was generally one of those books that somehow hit you close to home

8. Fierce Fairytales by Nikita Gill

fierce fairytales is a poetry anthology that reimagines classic fairytales from a modern, feminist viewpoint, acknowledging that the line between hero and villain, monster and damsel, are not as clear cut as the classics try to make you believe. this book also includes illustrations done by the author herself, which i think is really cool. my personal favorite story reimagining was the story of peter pan and captain hook, called ‘boy lost’ which looked at how peter and hook’s relationship began and rotted. all in all, i think this collection of stories had a lot of important things to say and said them in frank, easy to understand poetry and prose.

7/10 beautiful message and pretty prose, but at times a little cliche

and that’s all from the summer! my fall semester starts tomorrow, and overall i feel very good about all the reading i did this summer. i even read four other books not on this list for work! so i definitely feel like i made the most out of my time, and im really glad i was able to read so many stories that made me feel a variety of different things

thanks so much for reading this list, and let me know if you read or have read any of these books and tell me what you think of them!

happy reading<3

[babymetaldoll]

Character development (Matthew Gray Gubler / Reader)

Not my gif

A/N: I don't know if any of you haven't seen or doesn't know what happens with Spencer in Season 8, but anyway: HUGE SPOILERS ALERT OF SEASON 8 of CRIMINAL MINDS.

Requested: Yes. "Hi! I was wondering if you could do a Matthew/reader one where the reader is watching criminal minds, and Maeve just died, and the reader is sad and finds out Matthew suggested that Maeve's character got killed off, and Matthew makes it up to her."

Summary: Gubler reaches home and finds a very depressed girlfriend waiting for him to talk about the bad things that had just happened to Spencer in that week's episode of Criminal Minds.

Category: Fluff

Warnings: Well, spoilers of season 8 of CM, I think a curse or two, and that's it.

Wordcount: 1,6 K

Masterlist

.

The whole house was in silence when Matthew walked in. That was weird. Since he and his girlfriend (Y/N) moved in together, he was greeted with laughter, music, hugs, and kisses every time he got home.

But not that day. Silence and darkness in the whole house were all that welcomed Matthew.

- "Bunny?"- he asked, frowning confused- "Are you home?"

But nothing. Only silence.

Matthew walked around the house. It was so quiet it was creepy.

- "(Y/N)?"

- "In here"- her voice was small, and it took Matthew a minute to find her, curled up on a couch. The tv screen was the only light in the whole room.

- "Hey, Bunny"- Gubler sat next to her and kissed her lips sweetly- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah,"- she whispered and cut him the worst smile ever- "Did you have fun with your friends today?"

- "Yeah, we had dinner, watched a movie. It was fun. What did you do?"- Gubler knew there was something wrong with his girlfriend, and he wasn't going to let it pass.

- "Nothing. I just watched tv."

- "And did something happen today at work?"- but (Y/N) shook her head- "Then why are you so sad? Your eyes are puffy, Bunny. What is it?"

- "It's honestly nothing. I just..."- (Y/N) turned off the tv and sighed- "I watched today's episode of Criminal Minds."

- "Oh..."- Matthew thought about it for a second until it finally hit him.

That week's episode was "Zugzwang," and he knew it would be a rough one for everybody. It had actually been hard to film. Reid's girlfriend would die right in front of him, and Matthew knew (Y/N) wasn't going to take that episode very well. Ok, no one would, but she really wanted Spencer to have a girlfriend, finally.

- "Oh... so, what did you think?"- (Y/N) looked at him and almost rolled her eyes.

- "Look at me, I've been crying for an hour,"- Gubler chuckled and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend, cuddling her.

- "Come on, Bunny. It's just a tv show."

- "I know, but can you explain why Maeve had to die? why can't Spencie be happy?"

- "Why do you call him Spencie?"- Gubler frowned and looked at her confused, but she dismissed his question and pouted instead.

- "Honey, why did they decide to kill Maeve? Why didn't you argue against that stupid decision? Reid needs a girlfriend."

Matthew opened his mouth and was about to answer when he thought that might not be a real good idea. You see, it had been Matthew who suggested Maeve had to die in the most tragic way possible to make the storyline work.

At the time, it made sense for Gubler, but now, watching how his girlfriend had cried watching the episode, he wondered if they had maybe done it a little too sad.

- "Bunny, it's just a tv show. You know that right?"- he whispered and kissed her hands. (Y/N) nodded in silence and just stared at the empty space for a moment.

She knew it was just a tv show, and she understood it was stupid to be so profoundly affected by it. Still, at the same time, it was impossible not to feel moved by it, especially after watching Matthew impersonating Spencer crying with such sadness. It broke her soul. Literally, she felt something inside of her shattering as she watched him on the screen, sobbing. That was when she started crying along with Spencer.

- "I know it's silly but, though I know it's a tv show, and I know none of that is real, it still kind of hurt"- (Y/N) tried to explain- "Imagine any of that happened to us..."

- "Bunny, that won't happen to us. No one is going to kidnap us or hurt us, ok?"- Matthew smiled and kissed her hands one more time. (Y/N) nodded and sighed.

- "I'm sorry, I know it's silly being this upset over something that ain't even real."

- "No, Bunny. I think it's cute"- Matthew was sincere, but (Y/N) felt pretty silly. She had spent the last hour and a half of her life crying over the death of a fictional character.

- "Just let's make sure I get over this impasse before I visit you on the set, 'cos I don't think I will be able to be cool around the writers of the show after this episode."

- "About that,"- Matthew bit his lips and decided to face the truth once for all- "Maeve's death might have been..."- but (Y/N)'s wide-opened eyes didn't let him finish talking. He just stared at her and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear carefully.

- "Might have been what?"

- "My... idea."- Gubler murmured and looked at her, trying to read her reaction.

- "I'm sorry, what?!"- (Y/N) didn't move. She just stayed still, staring at Gubler, trying to understand what he had just said.

- "Ok, so don't get mad at me, but I only agreed to get on board on Spencer having a girlfriend if she died the most tragic way possible."

There was a deep and long silence between them after Gubler said those words. It was like (Y/N) couldn't believe what she had just heard, and Matthew tried to smile in a useless effort to ease the mood.

- "Why did you do that?"- (Y/N) finally whispered and tried to understand what her boyfriend was talking about.

- "Well, it was for character development. Reid's story is overall tragic, and his relationship with his girlfriend wasn't what we could call normal, right?"

(Y/N) stared at him, speechless. Reid was a fictional character portrayed by her boyfriend, but somehow he had become a beloved imaginary being they actually talked about.

- "What did Reid ever do to you? Why did he deserve this?"- (Y/N)'s voice was a whisper, and Gubler just stared at her. He wanted to kiss her cheeks and tickle her, to make her smile, 'cos he thought it was adorable how she reacted to the episode.

- "It just makes sense for the story"- Matthew leaned in and gave her a peck on the tip of the nose- "I'm sorry you got so sad. Was it my incredible acting that made it all so believable?"- he joked and kissed her cheek several times.

- "You looked miserable, Gub"- she whispered, still upset- "You were so convincing I cried along with you at the end."

- "I'm glad"- he stopped kissing her and looked t her, narrowing his eyes- "Not glad that you cried, I'm just glad you were convinced... I think"

- "It was a good episode, Gubler."

(Y/N) sighed and looked at him, still pouting. Matthew kissed her slowly, rubbing his lips against her and moving his tongue carefully, tasting her. He felt how her body relaxed at his touch and held her closer to him. When the kiss was over, and she had sighed, resting her forehead against his, Matthew whispered.

- "It's only a good episode for me if you like it, Bunny."

- "Yeah, well, I have the feeling you are gonna have to make it up to me for making me cry"- the way (Y/N) spoke made her sound like a spoiled kid, which she actually was around Gubler. He would always coddle her in every way possible.

- "Make it up to you how, Bunny?"- Matthew murmured in a lower voice, still holding her so close in his arms, she was now sitting on his lap.

- "I don't know... you can do stuff."

- "Stuff?"- Gubler repeated and kissed her again- "Stuff like what? I need more info"- (Y/N) giggled and hid her face on the crook of Matthew's neck, inhaling deeply.

- "I haven't had dinner yet."

- "What does my Bunny want to eat?"- Gubler replied in a second, running his hand up and down her back- "Pizza? Chinese? Thai? you love Thai food."

- "Gubler. I wanna eat Gubler,"- she whispered, biting his shoulder playfully, making him laugh.

- "You can't eat Gubler!"

- "Why not?! He's delicious!"- (Y/N) kissed Matthew's neck and licked it until a soft groan left his lips.

- "Don't start things you won't finish, Bunny"- she heard him saying, as his lips crushed against hers with lust.

Sometimes Matthew could manage to step from sweet, cute boyfriend to hungry, dominant animal in a second. (Y/N) never told him, but it was one of the many things she loved about him.

Matthew's hand roamed from her back to underneath her shirt in a second, unclasping her bra in a blink. (Y/N) could feel how he was getting hard underneath her legs and the urge in his lips. And it was just what she wanted.

- "Maybe you are right"- she whispered and ended their kiss- "Pizza would be better."

- "Really?"- Matthew looked at her with widened eyes, and (Y/N) couldn't help but giggle- "Why are you teasing me like this?"

- "It just makes sense for the story. It's for character development"- she answered, mocking his earlier answer about Criminal Minds. Gubler groaned, letting her go, just to look at her pleased smile.

- "You are really gonna make me pay for what happened to Maeve and Spencer, aren't you?"- and (Y/N) just nodded- "If it makes you feel better, I really felt miserable the day we shoot that scene."

- "I'm sure you did. And I felt miserable watching you being miserable."

- "It's the circle of life, Bunny"- Matthew leaned in and kissed her- "We should do something to feel better now."

Gubler winked at (Y/N), and she giggled. His hands reached for her hips and moved underneath her shirt again, playing with her skin.

- "You may be right about that, but dinner first."

- "Are you gonna eat Gubler?"- he asked her, biting his lips, looking incredibly hot.

- "Pizza for dinner"- she teased and kissed him for a second- "Gubler for dessert."

****

Taglist: 

@all-tings-diego​

[sometimesrosy]

Rosy that's fantastic news for your book!! I'm really happy for you. And just seeing "bellarke consum their love and even have grandkids" makes my heart full. Bob and Eliza said tthey were disappointed that 1/the charaters couldn't have kids in the end and that 2/ there was no hope. I totally agree with their interpretation of the end. Some people said the ending was super cool, and inkeeping with the whole show, and somehow hopeful. HOW WAS IT HOPEFUL?? the human race gets wiped out...

People said the ending was “super cool?” How?

Wait. I need to wrap my head around that. What are they looking at that seems super cool?

I actually don’t have a problem of the concept of transcendence that they worked on all season, nor Cadogan, the fake-spiritual, love-your-fellow-man-but-also-sacrifice-them-because-they-mean-nothing cult leader who favored his daughter, used his son, tossed his exwife into the apocalypse and killed Becca because she had power and knowledge beyond him.

Like, that could have been super cool if they’d kept him the villain, the antagonist, but instead they made him the protagonist who was, somehow, right about transcendence as if it wasn’t just another fucking doomsday cult that wanted humanity to end. I mean, it WAS just another fucking doomsday cult that wanted humanity to end, and the aliens vacuumed up humanity and allowed for no dissent. Here, have your perfect happy transcendence...but your body dies, the world ends, and humanity is gone. That is EXACTLY what ALIE did, and she was a villain. Perhaps a well meaning villain, but a terrifying villain.

How did the SAME story, get switched around to being some sort of victory for the state of humanity? How did the end of humanity, no chance to continue on, because they removed their ability to have children and carry on?

Why couldn’t they just fucking stay on The Ring if that was going to happen. At least they could have a small community up there.  But no. Without the info that our heroes brought, they wouldn’t have reached transcendence. 

That wasn’t transcendence. It was judgement day. Transcendence means you have worked your way to a higher state, and yes, it might be condescending and elitist, but you at least worked for it. And it wasn’t really a judgement day because they just took everybody, despite the fact that those idiots were fighting for no fucking reason. It was a PUNISHMENT day for Clarke, one of the only people who was actually TRYING to be better and do better. 

What was cool? The way the aliens brought back the people they cared for? Yes, that was cool. It wasn’t them of course, but some people would be impressed by the alien dressed up in the costume of their fav. I could see that being considered super cool. But honestly... that’s a story line that would have worked better in season 3 and in fact DID work remarkably well in season 3 when Lxa showed up in the COL. And it was ACTUALLY her, not some facsimile.

Was it cool to take away the agency of the hero of the story who we’ve been following for 7 years? Was it cool to erase the personality and motivation of our dual protagonist? Ok. So lets say you didn’t love Clarke or Bellamy. Octavia’s character was erased and she didn’t have a thing to do until the final battle, and then she got a romance that frankly made me uncomfortable but that’s taste. Echo was erased and she didn’t have a thing to do until the final battle. Raven was also erase although she got to be the one to convince the aliens that they weren’t totally awful beings. That was cool, but it seemed like a patch put on top of a story that had failed. The story being about how Clarke saves humanity, and Bellamy saves Clarke, which has been THE STORY FOR SIX YEARS. We spent six years building up a team with these two heroes who have been through so much shit and made the CHOICE to be the good guys, and in the end, Bellamy gives his power over to a charismatic obsessive leader (also happened in season 3 with Pike who was a great character and FAR better than Cadogan and actual sympathetic awful villain who thought he was saving his people while doing evil.) And Clarke actually becomes THE BAD GUY, who loses her sense of reason and commits violence due to loving too much-- a really tired, misogynistic storyline. Give women power and they go crazy. The hysterical woman. THIS DOES NOT FIT WITH CLARKE GRIFFIN. Also, we saw her go through that trauma of fear for her daughter, and she DID NOT GO CRAZY. Ruthless, yes. And then she worked through what she had done and recognized she was wrong and promised not to do that again. I honestly don’t know why she did it again.  Even if Bellamy betrayed her again, it didn’t make sense that she couldn’t work through it.

They had to keep the two characters apart in order have that ending happen. Why? Because Clarke acts as the center to Bellamy and Bellamy acts as the Center to Clarke. This season is the story of the FAILURE of the duo protagonists of the show. They separated them and broke them individually, and this meant they were unable to save the universe. 

Is it cool to make a show about heroes and then destroy them in the last season? But frame that destruction and the end of humanity as a VICTORY and positive ending? Maybe if you hate those characters and humanity and think there’s no hope for us anyway, so lets just burn it down.

Oh wait. I’m trying to figure out what’s SUPER COOL about that ending.

The purple sparkly aliens. Ok. How is that cool? That there’s actually an omnipotent alien out there that has the ability to just snap a whole race of people out of existence or into their big ole stew pot of consciousness.

1. Why? 2. How? 3. Where did that power come from? 4. Who are they? 5. What do they get out of erasing races and basically eating them?

Okay, putting aside the questions about how these omnipotent gods aliens came to be... is it possible they can be see as “super cool?” Let me go through.

1. Omnipotent aliens going through the universe, deciding when life forms were “ready” to be judged and then either wiping them out totally, or wiping them out totally but accepting their consciousnesses into their massive consciousness where they don’t want any “bad” lifeforms, which makes them now a higher lifeform but not at all what they once were. 

Cool/Not Cool. I dunno. Kind of seems like some sort of puritanical god who willy nilly decides if people are worthy of heaven. Will He, Nil He. That’s what that means. If we’re gonna get aliens at the last minute, I want aliens. I want to know who they are and what’s up with them. THAT’S the story. Those alien guys. Instead, the story was about the flotsam and jetsam at the end of humanity, either getting swept up into the god-form in the sky or being pounded to bits on the rocks. The heroes of our story have no say in what happens. They’re toast either way. Oh you mean we can be erased into nothing or erased into your hive mind? The only way this is cool is if you like nihilism. Which, yeah, some people do. NONE of their struggle over the past six years meant a damn thing. None of it. Their beliefs, their sacrifices, their mistakes, their heroism. It al reduces down to whether those sparkly purple aliens like them or not. That’s some bullshit. 

Not cool. 

2. Cadogan. Cult leader from the first apocalypse who conned the bulk of his followers and left them shady shelters that let them die. Kept the good stuff for his “best” followers. Paternalistic, obsessive, ruthless, megalomaniac framing his leadership and personality as “Love for Humanity,” while discarding every human who he deemed unworthy. Including his own family. Actually. Pretty cool.  AS A VILLAIN. Ending up at his cult colony in space hundreds of years later with thousands of years of development in time dilation. Cool. They’re creepy but make some bit of sense. Ok. Waking him up and then making him this fucking GURU who preaches love for humanity but sacrifices 99.9% of humanity all so that he can reach his mythical transcendence which is really the eradication of all humanity.... well, that’s actually cool. AS A VILLAIN. But somehow in the last season, Cadogan turned out to be the one who was right all along, and the story seemed to accept HIS concept that transcendence was the best thing that could happen to them, because humanity sucks and they always fight so they should be erase by paternalistic omnipotent gods. CADOGAN’S choices were the ones that were enacted. Bellamy gave his will to Cadogan and made CADOGAN’S choices, not his own. Never before in all the seasons did Bellamy “need it all to make sense.” He fucking KNEW it made no sense and he didn’t want to make those choices any more. And he did it to be a better person and make better choices and keep his family safe. The excuse they used for our hero to side with Cadogan did not fit. CADOGAN became the protagonist in the second half of the season. CADOGAN made all the choices that furthered the story. Our heroes were reduced to either brainwashed followers or ineffective, hysterical messes, our really not wanting anything to do with anyone’s salvation and just interested in their love life. It left Raven, Echo and Octavia to scramble around in the end and try to convince the purple sparkly gods not to erase them out of existence, just erase them and swallow them. :/ Cadogan as protagonist bringing humanity to “transcendence.”, Our supposed heroes as useless flotsam and jetsam floating around on the wreck of humanity whose choices and actions make no goddamn difference.

NOT COOL.

3. Character Storylines

Clarke’s storyline. NOT COOL. Bellamy’s storyline. NOT COOL. Octavia’s storyline. S.A COOL. S.B NOT COOL. Raven’s storyline. COOL. Echo’s storyline. S.A COOL. S.B NOT COOL. Murphy’s storyline. SUPER COOL. Emori’s storyline. SUPER COOL. Indra’s storyline.  COOL. Hope’s storyline. S.A COOL S.B NOT COOL. Jordan’s storyline. NOT COOL.  Diyoza’s storyline. COOL Gabriel’s storyline. COOL. Madi’s storyline. NOT COOL The grounders. Fucking morons. You really shouldn’t make a whole culture’s choices based around being absolutely too stupid to be allowed to live. EVEN when you get past xenophobia and learn about who they are and why they do things. NOT COOL. The culty people. Cool set up and world building. The society was dumb and had too many plot holes. MIDDLING SHEIDHEDA. NOT COOL. pointless plot device just used to make everyone forget everything they learned from 6 seasons. CADOGAN. COOL AS A VILLAIN. But he was the protagonist. So the ruination of the entire show and universe they created. NOT COOL.

SEASON A COOL OVERALL.  SEASON B NOT COOL. TOTAL SEASON NOT COOL

I think if people think the ending was supercool, they’ve never heard of a deus ex machina, and how that’s a BAD ending that is really just a cheat because you can’t figure out a way to get out of the story mess you made. 

I really hate post apocalyptic fiction that ends with no hope for humanity. JR kept telling us there was hope. I mean narratively, not in interviews, although he did that too, and in the last half season, he switched it around so they wouldn’t have hope, not even just our heroes, but all humanity. It was a bait and switch I did not appreciate. And I’m not talking about ships, I’m talking about the essential genre of the show. 

PS. thanks. I love my book and I hope someone picks it up so you all can read it. It also has elements of Han/Leia and another couple, Brashen/Althea from the Live Ship Traders book by Robin Hobb. They are, however, less traumatized than the characters in The 100. 

[deiliamedlini]

Whumptober 2021- The Darkness I Know

Chapter 1

Note: So, I decided to do the same thing I did last year, which is to turn the whumptober prompts into one continuous fic! This first chapter heading info up here is a mess! I’ll fix the next post!  Also will be posted on Ao3 (the link will only be on the chapter index page so I don’t keep forgetting to do that). These chapters are typically on the shorter side just because I am writing a chapter daily and haven’t written ahead more than the first two chapters! 

Fic Summary: After the world as she knew it was destroyed by the corruption of Malice, Zelda allies herself with her saviors from captivity: a disgruntled former governor, an alert paramedic, a cocky pilot, an excessively overt optimist, and a blind strategist. While the corrupted, malice-filled Yiga Clan looks for revenge on them, Zelda has to learn how important it is to find family in others... and how much more dangerous the stakes become if she fails to protect them.

No. 1 - ALL TRUSSED UP AND STILL NOWHERE TO GO

“You have to let go” | barbed wire | bound

Chapter Index/ Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean you don’t have a ruler?”

“I don’t need one.”

“What are you doing—… no!”

Never had there been a more malicious offence in Zelda’s eyes. Rulers were the key to life: they kept things straight, and they made things balanced. There was equality in every precise and calculated movement, and a delicate hand was required to hold the simple mechanism steady.

So, watching Dorian take the scissors and cut three strands of paper was like cutting straight through the muscle of Zelda’s heart.

“Why would you do that!” she screeched, more an accusation than a question. “Now they’re uneven, and they’re crooked! You’re insane!”

“It’s just a stencil, Zelda. If you want to cut the wood with a ruler, go ahead, but now we have an idea of how much we need.”

“We need to redo that. It’s not accurate.”

“I’ve been doing this since before you were born. It’s accurate enough. I can eyeball it. Do you want to fix the fence today, or no?”

Zelda grabbed their tools off the table and sulked behind Dorian as he left without waiting for her answer.

There were some battles Zelda knew she had to lose to win the war. This was one of them,

The fence was a priority to keep out anything that might have been affected with Malice from entering Mabe Village. There were so few survivors as it was.

Before the Malice had invaded Hyrule, Zelda had thought that her student loans were the biggest problem she’d have to tackle. She’d thought the money she’d spent on an apartment outside Castle Town was worth it, despite being far from her family back in Akkala. She thought there was a bright future waiting for her behind the years she’d spent in academia, trapped behind computers writing term papers and researching and experimenting and playing by others’ rules with the dream of one day making her own.

Then, the Malice spread: a thick purple substance that oozed from a seemingly endless source; a vile smell that reeked of rotting food in a broken refrigerator, and a gaseous haze that followed that made it near impossible to breathe. Worse, it corrupted any who came into direct physical contact with it for too long, and most of those affected were now dead for one reason or another.

She remembered when her car stopped working on the highway as the purple smoke filled the air on that first day four years ago. She’d stayed inside the metal hull, watching in awed horror as it engulfed her in an endless stream of fog. She ducked down below the steering wheel and listened to the crashes of other cars on the road that didn’t manage to slow down before their sight was stolen by it all. The constant ring of a jammed horn had her blocking her ears after too long.

Three days in the car, officially parched and hungry, no one had come for her. No phones worked; no drivers dared leave their vehicles. But it had become too much, and Zelda decided it was worth risking a venture outside, even amidst the lingering smoke. Her tongue was dried out and every breath of air came out in a wheezing hiss. But she’d done it.

The haze had been unpleasant and burned her eyes a fair bit, but when she stumbled into a water cooler that had fallen from a shattered car’s backseat and chugged every drink inside, she found other survivors along the side of the highway doing the same, and they all stayed together until they could reach safety.

Enter Mabe Village, four years later.

Zelda and her group had scavenged on the side of the road for almost a full year before they’d found the refuge. It was safe from the crazed bokoblins who once lived peacefully in their own territories. It had walls to prevent any of the fast-but-grounded lizalfos from scaling over. And each creature came at them with a vengeance, each fueled by contact with the Malice.

For a while, Zelda was the only engineer who could fix the solar panel garden and keep the power running. She developed as many mechanical skills as she could, fixing tools and maintaining the plumbing. She even began to learn carpentry to keep the houses upright.

Then, Dorian came in: someone with far more experience than her to help lighten her load. She slept more with him around, and he was full of energy to work through the nights when Zelda couldn’t.

“Would your mom ever let you do this?” Dorian joked as they made it to the wall and set their tools down.

Zelda, now in her mid-twenties, hadn’t seen her mom in years, but she’d learned everything from her. She thought about the blonde woman with blue eyes who used to sneak Zelda dangerous tools when she was too young to comprehend the danger. The woman who had her daughter assist her with live wires because she needed a third hand. Zelda knew how to hold a soldering pen before holding a real one.

“No,” Zelda snorted, always careful about her mother’s carelessness. “She’d let me watch, but she’d definitely be too worried about my hands.”

“Always the hands,” Dorian repeated with a joking smile.

“Always the hands.”

The two set out to fix a gaping hole in their fence, and while Dorian took the outside, the barbed wire that was laid over the wood planks to discourage any creatures from ramming into it, Zelda took the wooden boards inside.

When they were all in place, Zelda examined some of the old wood, intrigued by a perfect set of bite marks.

“Dorian! Was this Ms. Maple’s dog who did all this damage?”

She turned it over in her hand and set it down with half a mind to stride right over to the only dog owner in Mabe Village, but when she heard silence from the other side of the fence, Zelda stopped herself.

“Dorian?” When it was still silent, Zelda turned and grabbed the closest tool she could reach: a screwdriver. She glanced down to see if there was anything better, but there was only her ruler, a hammer, nails, and a second flathead.

Looking behind her, she tucked the flathead into her belt and gripped the hammer as tightly as she could before heading around the gate to check on Dorian.

He wasn’t there.

There was barely a moment to think that something might have happened to him before she was face first in the grass with a heavy pressure holding her down.

Zelda tried to buck them off of her, but they were too heavy. There was a sound of metal scraping against something, and Zelda let out a muffled scream into the grass, still trying to free herself.

“No, wait! Wait!”

Zelda’s head whipped up and she saw a large group walking towards her, each dressed in red bodysuits with a strange mask concealing their faces. The voice though… the voice was…

“Dorian!” she screamed, trying to move again. “Get help!”

His face contorted, and he bent down in front of her, but his words were addressed to whoever was behind her. “She’s useful. She’s smart, handy, talented. We need her. And she’ll understand why we did this. She smart,” he said again, nodding to her.

The man behind her hesitated. “You’re sure?”

“Yes. Positive. I’ve seen her work. I know her.”

A chill shot down Zelda’s spine, and she felt herself tugged upwards until she was sitting on her knees, face-to-face with Dorian in his red suit and a white mask atop his grey hair.

“Fine. Bring her with us. Tie her up.”

“Don’t fight, Zelda. I promise, this is just a precaution.”

She couldn’t help her body from struggling a bit, and she watched Dorian slide his mask into place.

“What’s happening? What’s happening?” Her wrists were tugged hard behind her back, and the rope was frayed enough to cut into her skin a bit.  

Dorian held out his hand, and Zelda, now bound, was handed off. “You’re with the Yiga Clan now.”

And with that, every other member of the group drew out their weapons and headed into Mabe Village while Dorian held Zelda still through her sobs for all the friends she’d never see again.

[im-whatchamccallit]

Crushcrushcrush//Kim Hongjoong (ATEEZ)

Request:  Hi i was wondering if you could do a soulmate werewolf hongjoong x human female reader angst and fluff like she over hears hongjoong saying something and she gets sad and shy and worried and stuff.....

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst with fluff at the end, Werewolf!AU, Soulmate!AU, a bit of College!AU

Warnings: Hongjoong’s kind of a dick with irrational thinking, cussing I guess

Word Count: 7.2k

(A/N: Lets just pretend I didn’t disappear for 6 whole months, but i am back and my medication is no longer giving me the big sad so I’m a little more motivated to write.This isn’t the best work I’ve done, this is actually idea 10 for this prompt and idk if it’s executed properly but Imma keep trying and hopefully, to keep from falling back into a slump, I’ll start a new series so I have a regular scheduled fic for everyone. Also, I think I botched expressing the AUS here but just let me know what you think. Sorry for always disappearing, I can’t promise I won’t go off the grid again but I’ll try harder to be active in anyway)

Your mother always said crushes stayed crushes for a reason: they hurt. Bad. But you thought she was wrong, that your feelings for someone could one day be reciprocated later if not sooner, and that’s what led you to him. Kim Hongjoong. The day you met was a complete accident, your body slamming into his as you wandered aimlessly during your freshman year of high school. He was gorgeous with wide brown eyes, beautiful pink lips and cheeks, his hair styled differently from the other boys to reveal his forehead, showing his individuality. He was perfection.

“I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” Those were the first words he spoke to you, his voice so gentle, so sweet. And the way he reached out to help you with no hesitation, holding your hands as he pulled you up effortlessly.

It was love at first sight, all until he looked down to your hands, eyes catching a glimpse of your wrist, a row of zeros peeking through the sleeve of your uniform jacket. He slowly pushed the fabric up, both your eyes widening to see your soulmate clock had finally timed out, his hands releasing yours to check his own wrist, a quiver to his lips as his clock matched yours, his once soft eyes now hard as he stared you down.

“Stay far away from me.” He warned, not saying another word as he headed to his homeroom, your body frozen as you watched him disappear. He was so harsh, yet you liked him. Maybe suddenly finding his soulmate scared him, but it was no problem to you! You were bound to end up together so you played the waiting game with him, being the perfect soulmate you could possibly be whether he accepted it or not.

And that led you here, now seniors in college and still acting the way you were when you met. Hongjoong was still cold, treating you like some plague while you could only smile along. You weren’t sure how you missed the fact you lived in a predominantly werewolf area until a public service announcement came on your television one night to remind humans to stay indoors during the full moon, that night dedicated to werewolves being as free as they could be, but it made you even more hopeful when you were on your way home from work one night, taking a shortcut through the woods since it lead right to your backyard.

You were 16 at the time, so the sight of a shirtless person would obviously make you flustered, but a shirtless Hongjoong? Enough to cause a nosebleed. He was 16 as well, the exact age a werewolf develops a mate bond and, seeing as you’ve already been confirmed as soulmates in the human world, the sudden desire to latch onto you and never let you go once you locked eyes only made your lifelong attachment more real, and he was freaking out. He didn’t speak, opting to shift without removing the remainder of his clothes, your eyes wide as he moved deeper through the thick trees and towards the horizon where the orange sky was in full view and, the grin on your face just couldn’t stop growing. You knew werewolves had a stronger drive to their mates, so the idea that he could avoid you forever was laughable. Sure, you were both 23 and he has uped his disdain for you from staying silent to calling you any vile name he could think of, but it was only a matter of time before he came around. You just knew it.

“(Y/n), stop gawking.” Miyeon joked, poking your side to snap you from your daydreams, your eyes widening when you noticed a few of Hongjoong’s friend’s catching your gaze, a blush painting your face as you turned away.

“I wasn’t gawking, just making sure their table was okay. I am their waitress tonight.”

“And every other night because you said, and I quote, ‘I wanna work at any table my Joongie’s going to be at!’” She mocked, your eyes rolling as you looked back towards them.

You took a job at a diner just a few blocks from both your apartment and college campus, the pay great and the distance convenient. It was the only time you had to yourself instead of lingering to Hongjoong, figuring out his classes and breaks to give him snacks and lunches you’d personally make for him since you overheard him complain about the campus food before, only to be told they tasted like shit and he’d find his own food. It was a bit of a kick to the face to hear that, but you had one saving grace: his pack. The first time Hongjoong sent you away with a bitter remark, they were curious about you, tracking you down when they weren’t with their alpha to get more info on who you were and what you found so loveable about the man treating you like some demon. They were surprised by how sweet you were and how accepting you were to be the unwanted luna of an eight-wolf pack. They could never hate Hongjoong but they sure as hell loved you just a little more than him. Unbeknownst to both of you, Yunho and Mingi found out where you worked, making a plan with the others to take Hongjoong there as much as possible so he would have no choice but to interact with you, even if he stayed silent to not appear like an asshole in front of the various strangers dining as well. Hongjoong would honestly never return if he had the choice, but something about the restaurant’s signature burger kept bringing him back, which is why he was here, sipping his soda angrily as he waited on his meal that would be served by his worst nightmare, you.

“I don’t know why you don’t just find someone else. Isn’t it easy for humans to reject soulmates? You could move on with no problems.” She said, helping you grasp onto the steel tray covered in various meals, a huff leaving you as you put on a bright smile.

“Because I know it’s harder to move on for wolves. You guys don’t have a choice on who your mates are, and you just accept it once you meet them. I know Hongjoong will accept me eventually, it’s just gonna take some time.” You gave one more smile before wobbling towards the table in question.

Hongjoong tried not to follow the gaze of his pack as they watched you happily approach them, letting out a huff as you adjusted the tray onto your shoulder, grasping the plates and placing them in front of the respective person, Hongjoong’s nose twitching at the smell of his burgers and fries, not wasting anytime to dig in as the other’s thanked you, but you shyly looked at the male before you, the tray pressed to your chest as you tried to find a casual way to speak with him.

“I-uh- I-I remembered last time you asked for extra cheese, so I decided to put cheese in the burger too! I hope you like it better than the tofu stew I made you for lunch the other week.”

“I didn’t ask for extra cheese this time, so why put it inside my burger where I can’t take it off?” He said spitefully, mouth still full as he set the half-eaten burger down.

Your smile faltered but bounced back as you reached towards his plate.

“O-oh! Well, I can take it back and make you another! This time I ca-“

“’This time’? You should’ve just done it from the start. Your job is to listen and do what you’re told and you can’t even do that? What can you do right?”

You swallowed hard, your eyes wandering to the people now staring at you as the scene unfolded, your heartbeat ringing in your ears as you tried to hold it together. The worst he’s called you in an idiot and that was usually under his breath, so to practically say it out loud, in front of strangers while you were in the middle of a shift and forced to do nothing but smile like you usually would, felt like you were being stabbed and burned simultaneously. You couldn’t keep smiling, looking down as you tried to apologize, only for him to cut you off once again.

“Go bother someone else. Or hide in the back if you’re just gonna keep fucking up this much.”

The space was eerily silent, even with the soft music playing, your eyes not leaving your shoes as you shuffled away. It was a pitiful sight, Seonghwa releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as you went to a neighboring table to retrieve plates and glasses left by a couple from before. He was ready to tear Hongjoong’s head off, not as a gamma to an alpha but as one friend to another, his jaw tight as he prepared to berate him the way he did you but, somehow, Wooyoung beat him by asking a question none of them thought to ask before.

“What did she ever do to you that you have to treat her like that?”

There was a strange but tense silence as they awaited his answer, watching him taking small bites of his fries as he stared ahead at nothing before turning to them with what could only be described as a sadistic smirk.

“Imagine being 13 and finding out the best years of your life, the years of dating, hooking up, just discovering who you are, are gone because your mate decides to show up and take that from you.”

“Are you fucking stupid? That’s the reason we have mates, so we can do those things with one person instead of random people!” Seonghwa nearly yelled, trying to keep his voice low as to not alarm anymore spectators again.

“For the past 7 years, I’ve been trying to get her to leave or just reject me, but it’s clear to me now that she’s just an idiot that doesn’t understand she’s not needed, by me or anyone. And, if you’re as dumb as her, I’ll simplify it for you: she’s unwanted.”

Whatever pain you felt before suddenly disappeared into a numbness you couldn’t explain. He knew you were there, that you could hear him, that you would hear him, and yet he still said it. You were conflicted and sad, your lips curling in a mixture of disgust and anger before settling on a bright smile. Never mind the fact your tears finally spilled over, that your heart ached with every beat and your body felt heavy with the weight of being rejected by someone you waited so long for, you just had to smile. Soulmates were supposed to be a sure thing, supposed to be your happily ever after, yet it just turned out to be a crush, one that you should’ve let die the day you met him.

“(Y/n/n)…” Miyeon spoke cautiously as you made your way towards the bar, your other coworkers watching from beside her as if you were some strange spectacle.

“We have to start cleaning, y’know? It’ll help us get out of here a lot faster tonight.” You said in your usual cheerful tone, tears still flowing and a faint crack to your voice.

“How about you just head home for the day, (Y/n)? We can handle everything from here.” Your manager said, her eyes scanning your face as you moved past them and to the kitchen, their bodies following instinctively.

“What? No! I’m fine! We still have 4 more hours to go and I think if I get a head start with the chefs for tomorrow lunch specials I ca-“

“(Y/n), please-“

“I’m fine, Miyeon! Really! It’s not like I got broken up with or anything, I never even had a boyfriend! Just a crush on someone that thinks I’m a waste of space! Isn’t that super ironic? Spending most of your life chasing after someone that wants nothing to do with you? That’s really funny, right?” You choked out, lips pursing into a thin line to keep in your sobs but your attempts were futile, everything slowly starting to hit you at once until your body collapsed, one of the other servers catching you before you hit the ground.

It was all a blur from there, the words of comfort everyone offered turning into muffled noise as your cries of agony came out freely, the way Miyeon dragged you from the emergency exit at the back of the building and to her car to take you home, and even when you crawled into bed and managed to sleep despite the pounding headache. 7 years came and went and there was nothing to show for it. No soulmate, no boyfriend, no romance, not even a friendship. You were empty and for some reason the only thing filling your heart and mind was the person who broke you.

It felt like time stood still yet hours had passed, Hongjoong back in his own bedroom pressing away at his keyboard, stopping occasionally to write a few notes down from his new composition, but he wasn’t distracted enough to hear his door open, various footsteps entering and even a few bodies settling in on his bed, his eyes not bothering to leave his notebook as he figured this moment would come.

“You don’t need to lecture me.” He grumbled, going back to play a few more notes only to find his keyboard unplugged, Mingi tossing the cord away as his alpha stared him down.

“It’s only a lecture if you listen and learn, which you won’t, so we’re gonna make you feel as bad as possible for driving away the only person that gave a shit about you.” San said with a bright smile, a scoff leaving Hongjoong as he finally turned in his chair to face them, eyes scanning the room to see this situation wasn’t playful but truly hostile, almost like an ambush.

“So, you guys don’t care about me?”

“Trying to get you to accept your soulmate so you don’t die shows we care a lot more than we should.” Yeosang spoke, making himself comfortable as he sat against the pillow and headboard.

“But we’re the real assholes for trying to force her with someone as shitty as you.” Seonghwa finally said, Hongjoong’s head snapping in his direction as he let out a dry chuckle, shifting in his seat so he was leaning backwards, arms crossed as he told himself to stay calm during his friend’s potential tantrum.

“I feel like you have the most to say since you’ve been in love with my mate the longest, so go ahead, tell me how I’m such a bad man, Seonghwa. I’m all ears.” His smugness made the tension worse, Seonghwa stepping closer with clenched fist.

“I’m not in love with you mate, but if I didn’t know someone was waiting for me because we were fated to be together, maybe I would have asked (Y/n) out, because she deserves better than a lowlife with the brain function of a dead goldfish. But I respect her too much as your mate and my luna to not push those boundaries so I tried to help her get closer to you because I know you, Hongjoong. You’re not an asshole or a jerk, but to her? You treat her like shit, when really you’d have no one without her. You’re a short, scrawny, nerdy moron that locks himself in a dark room for days on end just to complete a single project, then emerge to eat cold pizza and watch Despicable Me because your pea-sized brain can’t comprehend anything that isn’t brightly colored animation. If you take away your alpha status, no girl would even look in your direction but you have someone literally at your side, the only human not afraid of you, trying to figure out everything there is to know about you, yet you can’t give her the time of day. You probably don’t even know a damn thing about her.”

“Unfortunately, I know more than enough about her.” Hongjoong spoke, all amusement gone as he glared at the older male, their mindlink clogged with threatening growls and barks, trying to keep their fight from getting physical.

That first sentence alone made Hongjoong’s blood boil, his face contorted in a mixture of pain and disgust. How could Seonghwa even say that to him, plotting to steal his mate all because he was a bit uncertain? That all it was, uncertainty! He didn’t hate you, or wish you weren’t around, he actually grew to anticipate and enjoy your ramblings about your day or whatever new thing caught your attention, he actually even loved the lunches that you’d make for him. He couldn’t help that over the years he grew to crave you more, but the thought of fully accepting you and solidifying that the best years of his life were about to be gone, restricted to one person forever before he could even determine for himself his likes and dislikes, what he considered real love rather than what fate wanted him to feel, was terrifying. So he distanced himself from you, spending the years watching you from afar in hopes that if he didn’t get too close he wouldn’t lose his free will completely.

But it was a bad habit that seeped into your college years, everyone assuming he cared so little for you when he knew everything there was to know. He knew where you worked before any of the boys did, where your apartment was, the fact you were a business major planning to open a bakery once you graduated, he knew you didn’t have classes on Fridays but always came back on campus because you prepared meals for the men’s and women’s wrestling team which is where Jongho first met you, he knew you hated mint chocolate chip ice cream just like him but loved chocolate ice cream with mint chips, he knew you were always cold but overheat at night and wake up at exactly 3am to change into shorts and a tank top to be more comfortable, he knew about the birthmark on your lower back and a scar on your hip from a cat scra-

“Holy shit, you’re insane.” Wooyoung breathed out, Hongjoong’s eyes focusing on the room in front of him, a mixture of shocked expressions and amused ones filling his vision.

“I liked it better when we thought you hated her but, hyung, you’ve been stalking her since your freshman year of high school?” Jongho asked cautiously.

It was a weird feeling bubbling inside Hongjoong, the primary one being embarrassment. He knew he’d sometimes unintentionally rant in their mindlink whenever he was upset but to make an almost decade long secret public to his pack, revealing the intimate details of how you slowly but surely ingrained yourself into not only his brain but his life until he felt like he was going crazy? It made him tear up, his face burn with a blush as he was finally forced to face the truth. He pushed you away but wanted you more than anything. He wanted to spend his years free to explore before finally settling down only to reject every girl that came close to him simply because they weren’t you, and he took that anger out on you. What was he so mad about? The fact you stood by his side with a smile happily accepting him while he tried and failed to lust after other women? Was he that pathetic? He could admit now that he was and, if he could turn back time, he would’ve introduced himself and walked you to class. Just the first step of fully accepting you.

“You’re still ranting in the mindlink, you know?” Seonghwa said softly, regaining the once again lost focus of his alpha who was too consumed in his own pity to notice the tension died down, their gazes soft as they tried to sympathize with their leader.

“Sorry. I wish none of you heard that stuff.” He admitted, sniffling as he realized he’d been crying, hand hurriedly wiping away tears from his cheeks.

“Well, it’s a good thing we did. We still think you’re a moron, but at least we know you’re feeling guilty about all of this.”

“Don’t worry, Joong, if you know (Y/n) like we do, she always sees the best in people, so she’ll forgive you. But you still have to apologize.” San followed up Mingi’s words, wrapping an arm around Hongjoong shoulders while giving a bright smile in response to his weak one.

“She’s my TA in Calc 3 and I have that class around noon tomorrow. She always stays after in case anyone has questions, so I can stall until you get there.” Yunho offered, Hongjoong feeling a slight warmth in his chest thinking about it all. He’d let go of his insecurities, fix everything he’s done wrong, and finally have you as his. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

And tomorrow did come, but you were nowhere to be found. When Hongjoong arrived to Yunho’s class, he was met with a sympathetic apology on the account that you didn’t show up that day, you weren’t even at any of your other classes. The boys even tried to find you at work only to be met with a mob of your pissed coworkers led by Miyeon, threatening to rip their heads off if she saw their faces again. And that lasted for nearly 3 days, Hongjoong’s hope slowly dwindling away until he noticed two figures sneakily meeting halfway at the school’s entrance to exchange a large white cooler.

He recognized those bulky arms anywhere, and the thick Aussie accent was a dead giveaway as well, especially when it was followed by a distinct giggle. There was no mistaking it was Chan, but he could barely see the person with him, their voice low as they spoke to him and face hidden beneath a hood, but the scent emitting from them was strong, and beautiful, his eyes widening as he finally took it all in. You looked different, wearing a dark grey matching sweat suit which was a complete 180 from your usual attire, and you smelled faintly of passionfruit, possibly a change to your normal shampoo in an attempt to disguise yourself, but that thought only made his heart hurt more. Were you intentionally avoiding him? He could understand you hating him now but you were even ignoring the others in his pack, going from friends to complete strangers in a matter of hours and leaving them all devastated. He was going to fix this, here and now, if not for him and you than for his friends.

“Jongho’s been pretty upset about you not responding to his text. It’d really help if you stopped by to at least let him know you’re okay.” Chan pleaded, giving you a dimpled smile and hopeful gaze that made it impossible for you to hide your blushing face and grin.

“I just need a little more time, Chris. It’s like if you broke up with your mate and all the friends you made through her left you too. Except it’s me being broken up with by someone who was never my boyfriend and his friends came to me instead of me going to them. But, still, it hurts all the same.” You laughed slightly, trying to find some humor in the situation.

“You’re the only person that still calls me Chris.” He commented, trying to redirect the conversation as you clearly weren’t fine, neither of you noticing the burning glare just a few meters away.

“I just think it fits you best.” You admitted, neither of you breaking eye contact until you gasped, staring down to the box of food and drinks you bought.

“You should hurry to practice. You need to eat beforehand otherwise you’ll be weak after warmups alone. And I worked hard making those sandwiches and cutting that fruit, if it goes bad because you stayed here to cheer me up, I’ll really be mad.” You tried to put on your best scowl, your scolding undermined by his amused laughter.

“Alright, fine. Just stay safe, please?” You nodded, waving as you watched him turn to head to the school’s gymnasium, missing the way Chan glared at Hongjoong as he continued forward. Chan and Hongjoong’s packs were close, family almost, so the news of what Hongjoong did and why reached them in no time, and Chan was hoping today things would be fixed soon because, apart from you being the wrestling team’s beloved personal chef, you were like a sister to him.

You wasted no time leaving the campus behind, ready to go back into the darkness of your bedroom to forget you existed. You really wish you could disappear, that the ground would split beneath you and swallow you whole, but you couldn’t just leave when your phone was filled with calls and messages from friends and coworkers wondering where you were and if you were fine. So many people cared, what kind of person would you be to leave them all alone like this, especially when all they wanted was to help you? But being alone helped, trying to live life as normal as possible while adjusting to a Hongjoong-free lifestyle helped. It would take some time, but you’d find your normal someday. All you had to do was avoid-

“(Y/n)!” Your body froze.

He rarely called you by your name but his voice was distinct on its own, and it was the most sickly sweet thing you’ve ever heard. You wanted to run, to never have him see you like this. Dear god, how did you even look right now? You felt like shit, you probably looked the part. Dammit, Hongjoong was right all along, you were shit. You were worse than shit, you were just pathetic. A pathetic, lovestruck loser itching to just turn and say hi, to have the conversation you always dreamed of but you knew that wouldn’t happen. He’ll yell at you again. He’ll-

“(Y/n)? H-hi…” Hongjoong said shyly, standing right in front of you as you shrank into yourself.

His brows furrowed as you looked away, mentally arguing with yourself as you went over the days of self-reflecting you did, trying to find some lesson from your solitude to aid in this situation and it was starting to scare him. You were never quiet with him, you always had something to say even if it wasn’t important but, luckily, he had something important to say and hopefully you’d listen.

“I- T-the other day…. I w-was…. I-I’m sorry.” He stammered out, this confession a lot harder than he thought, especially now that you were facing him, eyes just as innocent as the day he met you, but he couldn’t run away this time.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, honestly. Everyone told me I was an idiot and I think they’re right. I treated you like you were garbage for years, all because I didn’t want to be mated so young. I just wanted to date around before I finally settled down with someone and, m-maybe I could’ve just said that, so you didn’t have to wait around for me all these years but, I never hated you, and I can’t hate you. I know you won’t forgive me right away but I think it’s only fair that I can be a good mate to you now.”

He swallowed hard, trying to suppress the desperate ‘please’ he wanted to add as your pupils began to shake, almost as if you were a machine malfunctioning, none of your self-reflecting preparing you for this moment, the only thing coming to mind being some sad blog article you found during your second day of isolation. ‘Forgiving and forgetting too soon is dangerous. Find yourself’. It wasn’t what you wanted but maybe what you need, what he needed. So, without hesitation, you smiled brightly at him although it never reached your eyes, clearing your throat as you tried to keep your voice steady.

“Hongjoong, I can’t forgive you easily. I waited for you, I tried to make you accept me and it always ended up with me getting hurt. Honestly, if I just treated you like a regular crush, maybe we could’ve forgotten we’re meant to be together until after graduation or something.” You laughed awkwardly, wanting to look away as his eyes softened in the saddest way, but you needed to do this, eyes locked on his as you exhaled through your nose.

“I couldn’t be by your side all the time, so whether you dated anyone is still a mystery to me but, I’ve been alone for seven years hoping you’d come around, and I think it’s time I take those years back. I’m not sure if what you said counted as a rejection or if we’re still mates but, if we are, we’ll come back to each other eventually. For now, I just need some time.”

You managed to walk past him without completely collapsing in tears, speed walking back to your apartment as you tried to swallow sobs, not even taking in the way Hongjoong stumbled to follow you, almost like a zombie as he attempted to plead for you to reconsider, to force himself to accept your decision but ask how long you needed, but he couldn’t do that. He tried to picture himself in your shoes, seven years of pining only to be publicly humiliated by the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. He couldn’t blame you for not forgiving him, and he sure as hell couldn’t force you, so he let you go, trudging in the opposite direction to his two story apartment just to hide in his bedroom until he didn’t feel like dying anymore.

But as more days passed and it only got harder for Hongjoong. He barely left his room but also never slept, every song he created was played in minor scales to fit his now melancholy life. The charisma he typically exuded was hidden with puffy red eyes from crying and a yellow knit sweater a few sizes too large for his body but it was the only thing that comforted him at this point, especially when knowing you had reconnected with everyone but him.

After exactly one week of distancing yourself from the world, you caved and meet with the boys individually (sans Hongjoong), apologizing for needing space although they completely understood, but the way each interaction ended made your guts churn with guilt. ‘Stay safe, luna’, that’s how all of them addressed you before they left, leaving you filled with the desire to return to how things were before. You missed your friends and, the fact your mate was finally ready to claim you, only made you want to forgive Hongjoong sooner. But you needed to be your own person for once. You had seven years worth of relationships to catch up on and you wouldn’t let them keep you from that.

Except when they did.

You should’ve known it was risky letting them know you had a date so soon, just some other human on campus that had yet found his soulmate. They sounded happy for you, Wooyoung going so far to ask where you met and where your date would be and what time, giving suggestions on what to say and wear since it was “your first”. It was a sweet gesture, and you thought nothing of it, but that information meant everything to him which led to now, the boys huddled together in their living room with a slightly paler and sickly looking Hongjoong curled into the corner of their loveseat.

“So they’re going bowling tonight at 8:30? We could ask her about it tomorrow in case she’s into him because hyung isn’t looking too great.” Yeosang commented, everyone looking to Hongjoong as he managed to drown his entire body within the sweater, only his head visible as he stared ahead like some lost puppy.

“He’s just weak from not being around her for so long, but their bond is still there so he’s fine. But we have nothing to worry about. She won’t fall in love with him so don’t get too involved, she’ll just stop talking to us again if we meddle too much.” Seonghwa warned, a chorus of ‘Okays’ confirming their dismissal as they all stood to retreat to their bedrooms.

“Wait, who is she going out with anyways? There’s only 10 other humans at that school.” Mingi’s question cause everyone to freeze, the silence in the room contrasting with the faint answer Woooyung gave in their mindlink, Hongjoong turning to look at him with hurt and pain.

“Why didn’t you say it was Yugyeom?!”

“I did! Just not to you, until now because I forgot to tune you out.” He said shyly, flinching as Hongjoong ran past him and right out their front door, none of them sure of what to do at that point.

It was such a minor yet major detail. Kim Yugyeom was admittedly the most wanted person any of them could think of. Human girls wanted him, werewolf girls wanted him, most guys couldn’t help but stare whenever he passed by. He was gorgeous with eyes that sparkled every time he smiled. He spoke about his soulmate with so much passion despite never meeting her, following his words with how he’d treat any girl before her with the same love and care. It was a pick up line meant to hook any hopelessly romantic girl in, the sweetest way to say their relationship wouldn’t last. But this was Kim Yugyeom, they knew it was only meant with good intentions, not wanting to string someone along with the false hope they’d be together forever. And that’s exactly what you needed. To explore while knowing you’d always come back to Hongjoong. But that’s not what Hongjoong wanted. He didn’t want you dating anyone else, finding temporary happiness when he was supposed to give you a lifetime of it. And humans were more flexible with their soulmates, they had the privilege to move one without the pain or withdrawals of losing their mate. Werewolves just died if they were rejected, heartbreak and loneliness consuming them, so there was no telling how your heart would react to someone exactly like you. Maybe you’ll fall in love with him. Maybe he’ll abandon his soulmate for you once he learns how amazing you are. Maybe Hongjoong would die from lack of food and sleep before he even reached your apartment, which he was still sprinting full speed towards. It was only 7:30pm, meaning he had an hour before you and Yugyeom went out, but he didn’t have a plan. He had no idea what he was doing, but he needed to stop you before you found yourself in love with someone else.

It was like some scene in a drama, Hongjoong’s chest heaving as he finally came to a stop just outside your apartment. His body felt like giving out as he climbed the two flights of stairs to your door, only to find you waving shyly to Yugyeom just as he turned away, trying not to lock eyes with Hongjoong but Hongjoong’s eyes were only trained on you, yours finding his as a panicked look crossed your face. Should you look away? Go back inside? What was he even doing there? You never told the boys your address… You gasped as he approached you, swallowing hard as you tried to remain calm, but how could you stay calm when you finally got a good look at him?

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You didn’t hesitate to ask, stepping further from your door to examine him, reaching for his face only to stumble back to your original position. You were making great progress, you can’t do that now.

“I’ve been better, but even then I wasn’t fine.” He said with a dry chuckle, your lips curling into a fake smile to not show how much his appearance affected you. He looked like he was on the brink of death. You knew wolves would get sick without their mates, but was it really killing him? Were you killing him?

“Joongi-Uhm, Hongjoong, how about you sit down? You look like you’re going to faint.” You offered, stepping back to allow him inside, watching him stumble past you and straight to your sofa as if he owned the place.

It was such an awkward moment for you, watching the poor boy curl into himself as his sweater practically became his body, a sigh leaving your lips as you shut your door. Instead of healing yourself, you had to heal him. It was oddly pitiful but your instincts screamed at you to do it.

Hongjoong shut his eyes as he eased into your sofa, feeling more comfortable than he was in his own home, even more so with your scent invading his senses, your body warmth radiating onto his as you carefully took a seat, trying to figure out what to do.

“Do you need food, or water? Or a doctor?” You asked, the giggle he let out this time weak but still enough to make your heart beat a bit faster.

“I just need you near me.” He admitted.

You let out a squeak as he shamelessly fell into your lap, head comfortably resting against your thighs as he laid face up. You couldn’t stop your hand from easing through his unnaturally colored locks, melting at how soft they were, bottom lip trapped under your teeth as you had to fight off the desire to cup his face. You’ve never gotten this close to him and he wasn’t telling you to go away, instead letting out content purrs as he nuzzled closer to you, your eyes burning with unshed tears. Why couldn’t he just want you from the start? You’d would’ve been able to hold him like this all the time, to see him happy and healthy rather than a shell of his former self. But he didn’t want you, and now he was at your apartment just to keep himself from dying. It was silly to think he cared about you as much as he did himself.

“Of course you do.” You whispered, laughing bitterly as your hand left his hair, moving to his arm to ease him back up into a sitting position.

You couldn’t get past him no matter how hard you tried, nor did you want to, but every word he said, everything he’s done, followed you like a ghost haunting some poor unsuspecting soul. Why did you have to love someone who didn’t love you the same? Why was this your life?

“Can you just hold me a little longer? P-please?” He asked with a cute whine to his voice.

You sighed and grabbed his arm, gently pulling him back into his previous position, fingers massaging his scalp as he finally opened his eyes to look at you. You were beautiful, even with the frown lines etched into your face. He wonder how long they’ve been there, especially when he’s only seen you smiling. Maybe you spent your alone time more upset than he thought. Where you upset before he came? You couldn’t be when Yugyeom was here, no one could be upset with him around. Except Hongjoong. He felt a grudge building inside him just from the mere thought of him with you. He felt like interrogating you on what he was doing here in the first place and why you gave your address out to just anyone, but it wasn’t his place to ask and probably wouldn’t be for a while, but jealousy and rage was all he felt so any reasonable thinking was thrown out the window.

“I don’t want you to see Yugyeom anymore.” He said definitely, your eyes widened as you stared at him incredulously, an amused giggle leaving your lips.

“That’s not for you to choose, Hongjoong. I told you I need time-“

“Those seven years you’ve been waiting I couldn’t be with anyone else. I always compared every girl I met to you and none of them came close to being as perfect, now I have to watch you date some dance major with pretty eyes because I was an insecure dumbass? He has a soulmate, and he’s always going to choose them no matter how much you like each other, so why not save your feelings? I’ll wait as long as you want me to, but just don’t fall in love with anyone else.”

You tried so hard to hide your smile. This wasn’t something you typically liked, possessive guys being on the list of things you found annoying, but considering it was Hongjoong, his soft eyes hard and sharp as their hue seemed to go pitch black as his words were both sweet and demanding, made you fall in love just a little more than you already were. You wanted to take this as his confession, as a truce in your previous one-sided enemyship, to tell him that you told Yugyeom you couldn’t go out with him because you could only see yourself with Hongjoong, but you needed time. Not time to date and explore the way you thought he had, but to watch him work as hard as you did to prove he was ready and willing to love you. It was a little malicious, sure, but it was all in good fun. He’d always be your mate after all.

“I don’t know, Hongjoong, you really hurt me…”

“It hurt knowing I wasn’t with you.” Your smile cracked through, causing his own to appear, your game already over.

“And how do you think I felt? You think you can make up seven years worth of waiting so easily?”

You squealed as he shot up, magically seeming more alive than when he arrived, eyes full of life and his lips and cheeks the same rosy color as when you met him, hands warm and soft as he cupped your face.

“Good thing I have forever to do it.”

The silence was comfortable but unbearable, especially as he hesitated to lean closer, your lips puckering to guide him but he didn’t seem to be catching on and, when he did, you shifted back, laughing awkwardly as you stared at one another, both of you taking a deep breath as you finally closed the gap between you, a weird electric sensation you could only dream of as your lips slowly grew accustom to one another, moving so slow yet feeling so urgent. It was all still new to the both of you, romance and dating only now becoming part of your lives, but it was exciting knowing that you had years ahead of you to perfect it, your entire lives dedicated to loving one another. And it only took a seven year crush to get you here.

[ksuew]

The Rookie 4x01 Life and Death Recap ****Spoiler city****

I promised a friend a recap, since she can’t watch until tomorrow, so I figured I might as well post it for anyone who wants to see it? I never can figure out a read more break on mobile so fair warning, DON’T LOOK IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS 😁

This is just a rough draft thing, so it’s probably full of typos.

@hamburgerheroes @piratesbooty63fan

Phew… crazy first episode. Unfortunately I was fielding calls and texts about a work issue the whole time so my viewing was very disjointed. So I’m rewatching as I type this recap for you.

The episode is preceded with a recap, of course. Then the opening scene is Chen, Bradford, Nolan, and Harper in tactical gear approaching a warehouse.

While waiting for the go order from Grey, grey has flashbacks of a few hours earlier. They realize Lopez and West are both missing, they find out La Fiera has escaped and assume she took them, then they get security footage of the kidnapping and are watching it at the station, still in their wedding attire. As we suspected. The footage shows Lopez being put in a vehicle and West struggling, then shot in the back, then stuffed into the trunk. Everyone is in shock, Lucy is crying.

Lots of fans are really upset about Jackson, and I get it. But the show runner and writers had no choice. Here’s excerpts from an interview with Alexi

At this point, we’re back to Grey a different officer wants to wait, but Grey says it’s been 3 hours and they need to move fast and orders them in.

They breach the warehouse, find an empty get away car and Angela’s wedding dress on the floor. Lucy moves to pick it up, Nolan stops her, there is a trip wire to explosives under the SUV. They leave the warehouse and realize they had a plane waiting there from the tracks it left.

Next we see La Fiera, Angela, and her female goon in the airplane. Angela assumes they’re going to Guatemala so she can torture and kill her slowly, but La Fiera tells her (as we suspected) that she’ll be kept alive until Angela safely delivers her (La Fiera’s) baby (of course)

Next Grey and Wesley are meeting with a DEA bigwig who essentially says, we ain’t helping. Next they arrive in the compound in Guatemala and talk about how impenetrable it is, etc. She meets the doctor who will be attending her. Angela tries to tell the doctor not to touch her and La Fiera says if she resists she will be sedated for the rest of the pregnancy.

Back at the station Lucy is talking with Nolan, beating herself up about not seeing the trip wire. She’s really just upset about Jackson, she says she can’t believe he’s gone and she and Nolan hold hand for a moment.

Tim and Harper join them and discuss if Lopez is still alive and why. Lucy comes up with the theory that La Fiera wants Angela’s baby as the ultimate revenge. Grey tells them the DEA won’t help. They talk about how Jackson scratched his killer and they’re running DNA. Grey tells them all to go home and get some rest while they work on a plan. ***Chenford alert***

Lucy says she can’t go home and see Jackson’s empty room. Tim says, “you don’t have to, you can stay with me”

Dying!

She says she doesn’t want to impose and this is where he says she shouldn’t be alone right now. She says thanks, he says yeah, then she wonders how Wesley is holding up.

Cut to Wesley meeting with some bad guy and offering to turn dirty lawyer in exchange for finding out where Angela is. I do not like this development and what it can/will do to them in the future.

Cut to a short, weird interaction with Lopez and the female bodyguard then, back to Chenford.

We see Tim in his jammies, setting up his couch to sleep on. The house looks different than I remember it and surely it has at least 2 bedrooms, so why the couch 🤷🏻‍♀️. Anyway. He looks adorable in his jammies. He says, “I’ll take the couch”. Lucy walks out of presumably his bedroom and says she thought he was setting up the couch for her. He says he’s not going to have a guest sleep on the couch and she says she’s not going to kick him out of his bed. He says okay, gets up. Looks a bit awkward, a bit nervous. Asks her if she needs anything. She says “the last 24 hours back”, he says he doesn’t have that power. She says, “a hug” and he says, “yeah. Come here” in a soft voice that nearly made me combust! He hugs her. As they go to part things get all UST, he croaks out “night”, can’t quite meet her eyes. Meanwhile she’s definitely got the “realization” light bulb starting to go off slowly. Still a bit confused. He goes to his room and flops into bed. Obviously affected by what just happened. she is the same out on the couch. Fidgety with nervous energy. He looks toward the door like he’s about to go back out there to her, say something more (do something more?) she looks toward his door from the couch, obviously contemplating same. Back to him purposefully looking away from the door, back to her making her decision. She’s pushing the covers off about to go to his door, when his door suddenly opens. He’s on the phone saying “yeah, okay, we’ll be right there”. She tries to pretend she wasn’t already up and moving toward the door. He says Wesley knows where Angela is and they head into the station.

Oh man, it was sooo gooood!!!

Next it’s the Wesley telling them that he knows where they’re holding Angela. They all say they want to help, but Grey says how’re we gonna do that . They bring up “Max” the covert government guy from the counterfeit money case. Grey says fine, reach out. He tasks Tim, Harper, and John to start tactical plan and says Lucy will stay with him to run the murder case. Then he takes a moment to congratulate Nolan on officially becoming a P2. They get the DNA back, the killer is a 17 year old kid.

Government guy shows up at Nolan’s they coerce him into helping. They go to Guatemala separately from Wesley who is supposed to get a meeting with La Fiera without getting killed. Nyla and Tim look hot playing with military surveillance toys while John steals the plans to La Fiera’s compound from the architect.

Lucy and Grey go after the killer. Grey has a really great scene after cornering the killer and he and Lucy take him in.

Back at the compound Wesley gets to see Angela. John tells Nyla and Tim that he has the plans and there’s a weakness, but the drone shows that the weakness has been fixed so they have to go to plan B. Nyla does not like plan B!

Cut to a very sad scene of Lucy finally going home and looking at Jackson’s room as he left it. Tim calls, says they’re going to plan B. Lucy, as well, does not like plan B. She says to give her a minute to get set up. Tim then radios government guy Max, who also does not like plan B. They decide on a different extraction point and he reminds them if they aren’t there at the agreed upon time they will be left behind.

They alert Wesley with fireworks. Turns out plan B is him injecting Angela with pitocin to start contractions so that they’ll have to transport her out of the compound to the hospital. Nyla will have a drug to counterreact the pitocin at the hospital.

Unfortunately, they separate Angela and Wesley. He’s put in a different car to take him away and kill him so Nolan goes after Wesley while Tim and Nyla get set up at the hospital. Lucy is tapped into a satellite giving them info on the vehicles, etc. Tim says, thanks, we got it from here”. Lucy says, “Tim”, the tension clear in her voice. “Please be careful”. With more significance than just one officer to another. He’s in business mode and replies, “I always am”.

Bradford and Harper ambush LaFiera et al. Angela gets into the hospital with Tim and Nyla and gives Angela the reversal shot. As they make their escape to the helicopter LaFiera follows and fires on them, grazing Angela’s leg, she turns and shoots La Fiera, killing her. They make it to the chopper, tell Max they need to get Wesley and Nolan, he says no, they all point their guns at him and he decides to make the stop.

Wesley and Nolan fight their two bad guys (Nolan simply must save the day in each episode). They make it to the chopper, everyone is safe and they get the hell out of dodge.

Then, the time jump. It’s 3 months later and Angela and Wesley are arriving home from the hospital with their son to a surprise welcome home party with Grey, Nolan, Harper, and Chen. They’ve stocked their freezer and bought them a second freezer and stocked that too. Tim is happy and relaxed. Lucy is a bit overly cheerful, it’s obviously a bit forced. She and Nyla present Angela with a basket full of teas and herbs and cookies tailored to uterine health and breast milk production (as she would). Nyla admits that it was all Lucy when she walks away. That it was good for Lucy to concentrate on something positive. This makes Angela turn a bit sad and reflective. The show ends with Angela holding her baby and standing at Jackson’s grave updating him on her life and how she misses him and hopes by the time her leave is over that she’ll be able to face the station without him in it. She then reveals (again, as we suspected) that her baby’s name is Jackson😢

[rev3rb]

Hi!! It’s me again asking about the new chapter. Literally every other page had me like 😳 from either the gayness or just the plot points like wtf. I complained last time about being confused from lack of info and now I’m confused from too much info but very excited to see where this goes lmaoo

I think the illusion part was a fun lil twist. Sometimes it can be annoying when a high stakes situation turns out to be fake all along, but the way it was done sorta short kept things interesting and added to Rigr’s sly behavior. Also just Rigr bantering with Urd by being oddly sweet and saying how he was planning to come back and work together was such an intriguing 180 flip. Urd already considering the offer & being on the same page with the hostages was kinda gold. I feel like he’s already sorta accepting his fate, I’d honestly be surprised if he doesn’t decide to team up with Rigr next chp.

And then on top of all ~that~ the stuff about all versions of Yu being made for Mika?! We get it, they’ve been destined to each other for thousands of years, they’re soulmates, it’s gay 🙄 I haven’t been super onboard with Mika becoming Yu’s demon bc I want him to stay himself & have a role on his own, but now I’m more excited for how that works/messes with the First’s plan.

Oh, and I enjoyed seeing Byakkomaru + Raimeiki despite being worried for Shinya + Kureto. I feel like all the demons/progenitors relationships to the First get more complicated each chapter and I would really like a better breakdown on where loyalties lie at this point lol

Hello once again anon! I was wondering if you'd crop up!

Ho boy. This chapter. A lot happened. I can see why you're confused. While this chapter did give us quite a bit of information, we can still only speculate as to how everything fits together. There's really no right or wrong right now. I have a feeling that starting next chapter, we'll finally be able to start fitting things together. If not then we'll at least be getting back into some action I imagine. It'll be nice after the last handful of chapters.

In that same vein, I agree with what you said about the illusion. It was fun to get some action even if it did end up being fake, but not only did this serve as some fun, it developed Ky Luc and Lest Karr as well as what you said about Rigr. While we've seen Ky Luc fight before, we didn't really see him with his back against the wall. As Guren and Shinya put it:

(They tied as Guren said shortly before this but this is funnier)

It was nice to see how Ky Luc fights in a tough situation. It speaks to his character quite a bit. On top of that, there's Rigr's comment about Ky Luc being strong enough to kill a 3rd Progenitor. I'm sure that will be relevant later, possibly even explained, but likely not for a while. Not only that, but, and correct me if I'm wrong, we haven't seen Lest Karr fight before. This was a cool insight into what his battle presence is like. I imagine that both of these things will come into play sometime later. Plus! It's like Rigr said:

At the very least it tells us Ky and Lest will side with whoever Urd does.

I ish made a post addressing Urd and Rigr, but god, yeah. These bitches gay, Rigr especially. Good for them. It makes me think that Rigr always intended to return to Urd's side (in a gay way or not). After all, as he said, this is all according to plan apparently.

It's interesting to think about, but I think Urd is as much a pawn in this game as the likes of Guren. He has his own view/side to things, but he's going to get swept up in other people's messes/plans whether he wants to or not. Given his history with Rigr and it being unlikely (at the moment) that Rigr will betray him again, I imagine Urd and Rigr will be on the same side going forward? Allegiances change like the weather though so who knows. This is just the feeling I get at this point in time, and you alluded to it too.

I'm left a little unsure about how to feel about the whole Yu and Mika situation. None of what was shown really comes as a surprise. The eye being a doorway to the past was something I didn't expect, neither was The First being able to affect that vision, but pretty much everything else was. We'd already been basically told that Yus were somehow grown/created, so now we just finally get to see what the exact method is. Can't say I understand how that works, but there you go. It wasn't much of an explanation, but it's something I guess.

Mika becoming Yu's demon/weapon also doesn't come as a large surprise. Ever since he "died" back in chapter 90 (91?), this is pretty much what I expected. I'm not even that surprised that it was something that Mika ultimately chose. It's not quite something I would have speculated back when Mika first died, but after we started getting chapters that showed off demon Mika, it was something I suspected might happen. And maybe it's just me, but I don't think Mika will become any less important now that he's Yu's weapon. I wouldn't be surprised if he took a role similar to Mahiru going forward. Mahiru is one of Guren's demons, but she's still her own character and can sorta do her own thing. I don't see why Mika couldn't be the same, even if their situations are a bit different.

SHINYA!!! I, like many others, have been waiting for this moment. Never would have guessed that he ended up getting captured, but what surprises me more is that Kureto was also captured. Last we saw he was directing troops. It seemed like things were going well for him. I wonder what happened that resulted in both of them getting captured. Is the rest of Guren squad okay? Who's running the Imperial Demon army now? I hope it's not Seishiro. Hey, maybe that's what happened to Narumi. He's running the army now :) In all seriousness though, if Guren squad is okay, I could actually see them running the army, but again I digress.

I made a post talking about what I think will happen to Shinya and Kureto (and by extension, Byakkomaru and Reimeiki) here. While I too am worried about them, I think that they'll be okay. If Rigr or Urd wanted to kill them, they probably would have done it by now. That's not to say that they couldn't be harmed though. I'm just hopeful that being hostages means that they'll stay alive.

Maybe it's a weird thing to say, but because of Guren's attachment to Shinya, I'd actually say that it's likely that Shinya has some thick plot armor in this instance. I'm confident that Shinya will remain alive at least until Guren is around him again. As for Kureto... well. I don't think there's as much plot armor for him. Again I think he'll be okay? He's the representative of normal humanity in all this and there's no good replacement for him (there's lit no other character that cares about humanity as a whole), so I think he'll stay alive for at least a little while longer.

And that pretty much sums up my thoughts! Sorry this got long, but as I said at the start, a lot happened. There was a lot to analyze and process. Thanks again for the ask! I hope you enjoyed hearing my thoughts.