#can you guys reblog this i want more people to vote now that i’ve subjected myself to scrutiny anyway

[curlytemple]

tagged by @scaryhagmother again what do you like me or something 🤭🥰

you guys have to be nice okay i warned you that i only listen to pop music and archie the musical

tagging: @twinsfawn @tonight-i-may-see @joeyclaire (total stranger, never heard of this person in my life) and @kimb30 🔀

[emberfrostlovesloki]

A for Effort [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (Google) (Center (@hotch-girl) Right (@archaic-stranger)

Prompt: A meet-cute of how Aaron met the non-BAU reader at Penelope’s theater improv group show. And how Aaron accompanies the reader to host her Halloween extra-credit horror movie watch and discussion for her students. 

Pairing: Hotch x fem presenting reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns. 

Category: Angst/fluff/comfort 

Word Count: 8.2K 

Content Warnings: Canon typical violence (unsub drugs and beats teenagers, Hotch takes a beating, awkwardness, mention of being cheated on (reader’s boyfriend cheats on her with a best friend), mention of separation, light drinking, unwanted touch (a guy is handsy with the reader), vomit is mentioned (in the context of the film The Exorcist), religious themes, mention of intimacy (sexual touch over the clothes) If I missed any, please let me know. 

A/N: This one is just me having fun. I did give my students extra credit where we watched a horror movie and discussed the elements of the film. I couldn’t help but picture Aaron there with me, so I wrote this. I teach English but I’ve made this story that there could be a plethora of subjects. I really like the meet-cute element of this story. It was fun to write. If you like this story, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated. Below I have included some cultural definitions for my international readers. If you’re from the States, especially the South and you know what dance halls and cotilion are, then feel free to skip this. I just want to make sure my readers feel included. Please know I am not good at line dancing or swing dancing - I do ballet to this is not my personal dance style. Lastly, before I sign off, you can vote for the next Aaron story you want from me at this post (linked). I hope you have a great night - Love Levi

Definitions

Dance Hall: An enclosed space with a dance floor, a stage for live music, and a bar (normally). The space is pretty age-inclusive and most music is country. Couples and singles come and often mix and match partners. Some people go to show off their skills here. The dances are normally line dances or swing dancing which relies a lot on improv. The lighting is normally dimmed, though not as much as at a nightclub. 

Cotillion: Essentially manners class. These can be after school or on the weekends. It’s associated with the debutant circle and court. 

List with all stories 

_y/n_ = your name 

_l/n_ = your last name

_y/l/g/s_ = your local grocery store 

_y/e/c_ = your eye color. 

_y/f/a(s)/s_ = your favorite art (or science) subject - aka English, film, art, psychology, etc. 

_y/u_ = your university 

_y/s’s/d’s/b_ = your subject’s department’s building 

Aaron sat down in the second to last folding chair with a very small grunt. The sound was so quiet that Spencer, who was on his right side, didn’t even notice that he had made it. The last case had seen Hotch tracking down a stalker who was preying on teenage girls, drugging and beating them severely before dumping their bodies on the steps of their parent's houses to be found the next morning. Aaron had experienced the strength of the forty-seven-year-old unsub as they had sprinted down an alleyway. The team had gotten to the fifth victim just in time. With Rossi, Spencer, and Emily taking care of the teen, Aaron and Morgan gave chase on foot. When both met a crossroads, each took a path. Aaron took the sidewalk to the left. Using all of his strength, Hotch had been able to catch up to the unsub. When they reached a dead end, the power balance changed. The unsub, Kevin Leery, realized his only means of escape was fighting his way out. The man quickly turned before Aaron, who was now pretty winded from all the running, could pull his sidearm. Hotch had been victorious, though, by the state of his aching body, he might not say so. Rossi had called the paramedics for him. The medics assured Rossi and the team, more than himself, that he would be fine in a few days. That there were no broken bones, just some bruised ribs, and a pretty battered left hand. Aaron’s attention shifted as there seemed to be movement behind the small curtain that was waiting to be raised. Hotch was glad for this distraction. He needed his mind on other things than his body. When Garcia had taken up improv as a hobby, the whole team was on board. Especially Morgan. Derek, at least twice a week would say, “Now Babygirl, when do we get to see a performance?” Penelope would blush and say, “When we’re ready. You can’t rush talent, and the whole troupe is still getting everyone else's vibe.” Aaron would give a small smile that he tried to hide when he overheard these conversations. Improv felt like the perfect art for his technical analyst. When the first performance was announced, Garcia printed fliers and invited the whole team to come and watch the show and then grab dinner afterward. Everyone had joyfully agreed. Aaron had marked the date on his personal calendar over a month out. He ensured that Jack could be at Hailey’s that day. The anticipation grew as the one-night performance loomed. Garcia had said a few things about breaking the fourth wall and audience participation. Hotch was sure that whoever was picked wouldn’t be him. Garcia knew him too well to let that happen. Part of him wanted whoever was making that choice pick to Derek. He thought it would be fun to see his friend on stage attempting to play an act. And Aaron knew that Morgan was easy-going enough to play along with whatever the group had him do. 

Aaron’s thoughts were pulled from the curtain and any movement that may or may not be going on behind it as someone tapped his shoulder and asked, “Sorry is this seat taken?” Hotch’s eyes snapped to the woman who was standing in the small aisle of the tiny theater the improv group had rented out for the evening. Aaron’s gaze looked into the inquisitive face of the stranger, and he said, “Yes, I mean no, No it’s not. Feel free to sit here. Sorry.” Hotch wasn’t sure why he was being stuttery all of a sudden. Most of it was probably because the woman who was now settling into the chair very close to his was incredibly beautiful. However, what Hotch told himself was that this mystery woman was holding flowers and he wasn’t. Hotch stopped himself from face-palming. He had forgotten to bring flowers for Penelope. He would profusely apologize after and then pay whatever amount he needed to get a florist to drop off an arraignment when he got back home. The woman next to him with some trepidation given his recent slip. She made one final shift, as she set her purse and the flowers on the ground in front of her and pulled out the program for the two-act play. While doing this, she inadvertently brushed her thigh up against his. Aaron felt a rush through his body at the contact. Very quietly the woman said, “Sorry.” Hotch looked over, and she was looking at him as if she was making sure he was alright for the unintended contact. Hotch gave a small nod and said, “Don’t worry about it.” After the contact, the person sitting next to him seemed to be the only thing he could focus on. She had pulled her legs and body tight into the chair, to not touch him again. The light scent of her perfume washed over him with her body heat. They were just an inch or two apart, and Hotch couldn’t help but observe her as she flipped through the program with an interest. To not seem weird or be caught staring, Aaron looked to his right at the team. If Spencer had noticed his odd behavior, the boy-wonder wasn’t letting on. But when Hotch’s eyes moved one chair over, Rossi looked at him with eyebrows raised. This time Aaron couldn't stifle the sigh that he let out at seeing Dave’s expression. His best friend on the team was always on to him about lighting up. About living a little. Aaron always rebuffed these comments. He thought he lived plenty -- and nearly died in the field more than that. All of these conversations, stated or unstated, had started a respectful time after Hailey had left him. Hotch was sure Rossi, and the whole team had seen that his marriage had been crumbling as much as he did. Maybe they saw it before he did. If they had, they didn’t say anything about it apart from Dave, and one very kind comment from Emily. Prentiss had asked him one day late in the office, “Are you alright, Aaron?” It was a hypothetical question, and he replied, “I think I am. Thank you for asking, Em.” They had left it at that. Aaron still thought about that comment sometimes. There was a small movement from the companion to his left like they had heard his sigh and stilled their movements because of it. Aaron willed himself to not look back at the woman. Thankfully the lights dimmed and the curtain raised. 

The play was about a man who worked at an office and was slowly losing his mind. The program said the idea was loosely based on the short story, “Bartleby the Scrivener” by Melville. Garcia played the perky secretary who was always badgering the lead about this private life. The play was funny. The dynamic between the actors was natural as they riffed off each other and the confines of the small narrative being built between them. As the first act ramped to conflict with the lead, a youthful-looking man with a mustache broke the fourth wall and said, “But Maddison," which was Penelope’s character’s name, "there’s something I haven’t told you. I have a fiance! And they’re in the room with us” The small crowd in the room all took an intake of breath at the revelation. Suddenly everyone in the small assembled crowd looked at each other. Penelope said, “Well get her up here this instant! I’ve got to meet her. She must be mental if she’s in love with you.” There was a second that with bated horror, that Aaron thought the lead was going to point at him. But the man’s pointer finger pointed at the woman sitting next to him. All eyes turned to her. Aaron could see her deflate a tiny bit. As the man on stage said, “Come up here, beloved. Come and meet the source of my madness.” The woman got up and as she moved toward the stage, he guessed that the protagonist hadn’t informed her beforehand that this would be happening. In the back of his mind, Aaron thought, “What a dick move.” The man helped the woman up onto the stage. She was wearing a skirt, and she was more careful that she didn’t flash anyone as she was hoisted up on the stage than the man helping her upward. At seeing this, something small in Aaron twitched up comfortably. When the woman was on stage, Penelope rushed forward and hugged the woman. Aaron could see that Pen had also seen what he had. Hotch could see in Garcia’s embrace both an act and a real gesture of comfort. Garcia pulled back and asked, “So, you’re cooped up with this old bat all hours of the day and night? How are you coping with that?” There was a tense silence while the audience waited for the woman to respond. The lead moved toward the woman, and his right hand found purchase on her lower back. The woman seemed to lean into the touch. Aaron immediately assumed that the two were a couple. It would make sense if the mustache man had picked her. The silence persisted. It lay heavy over the crowd. It became awkward as the woman looked at the man and the audience. Her eyes shone with anxiety. Finally, the man said, “Have nothing to say about me, darling?” At this, finally, the woman said, looking directly, intently at the man, “Oh sweetness, I could go on and on, and on about you. I just don’t think your friend would like what I have to say.” As soon as that line was uttered, the curtain fell, signaling the short intermission. 

The crowd cheered and applauded as the cast and the woman were veiled. Aaron could hear Emily and JJ, and Derek and Rossi’s conversations about the show so far. They sounded so happy. As Hotch offered a comment to Spencer about the intricacies of Melville’s writing and how it related to the performance, he couldn’t help but think how the woman, when giving her one line had been acting as well. But some small part of her tone had indicated that it wasn’t all an act. That fact gnawed at Aaron like a dog on a bone. The intermission was short, only about fifteen minutes long. As the minutes ticked by, Hotch waited for the woman to return to her seat. After what felt like an eternally long ten minutes, she reappeared and moved down the row to her seat. Hotch offered her a hand as she steeped with high heels around her purse, program, and flowers to take her seat. Aaron looked at her closely as she sat. It was clear to Aaron that she was less joyful than she had been before the show had started. The woman’s makeup was smudged a bit, and he wondered if she had been crying during the brief break. When she was seated, Hotch removed his hand and the woman, very quietly said, ‘Thank you.” Aaron nodded and replied, “Of course.” The man had mentioned engagement on stage, and he couldn’t help himself from looking for a ring on her left hand. He found none. His wedding ring sat heavy in a box on his bedside table, reminding him of his personal shortcomings. For one tiny moment, his heart ached for his woman. Whatever it was she was going through. Aaron rarely allowed himself to have these extraneous emotions, but in the here and now, he couldn’t seem to stop them. The repetition of the lights dimming and the curtain raising once more stopped any further thoughts on the matter. The second half of the play was as funny as the first as the lead slowly lost his sanity and refused to leave the office, even under the direct order of his boss. Subliminally, Aaron felt called out at that element of the storyline. When the play ended there was thunderous applause and a standing ovation was given to the cast. Everyone slowly filtered out of the room and Hotch noticed as the woman moved to the front of the stage and kissed the lead on the mouth, handing her flowers over to him. Aaron turned his head away at the moment of intimacy between the couple. Something about what had happened during the play didn’t sit right with him, but who was he to comment on relationships? 

At the dinner after the show, Pen was showered with the praise she deserved. When things had quieted down, Aaron had over-apologized about not bringing flowers, and Garcia had wholly forgiven him. He asked in a more subdued voice, “So the lead, Richard, he chose who in the audience got called up on stage?” Hotch tried to sound nonchalant but wasn’t sure if he was being convincing. Garcia didn’t seem to notice, and replied, “Yeah. He called his girlfriend, obviously. I’ve had a few conversations with _y/n_ before and after rehearsals. She’s really sweet, and too good for Rich if I’m being honest. I don’t think she appreciated being called out like that.” Aaron nodded as a few more pieces seemed to click into place in his mind. The night wound down, and Hotch managed to get some flowers to Penelope around midnight. It might have cost him $83.75, but it was worth it to get Pen’s text, with a picture attached of the bouquet thanking him profusely. Pen included every flower emoji available in the message. As Aaron got ready to sleep, his thoughts shifted to the woman. He thought back to Garcia’s comments and remembered her name: _y/n_. As he drifted into sleep, he hoped that she was alright. She was happy. 

Neither _y/n_or Aaron expected to see the other ever again. But they did a month later. Hotch was doing his weekly grocery shopping at _y/l/g/s_. The person in front of him in line for the check-out had a scant four items on the conveyor belt. The items were a bottle of wine, some strawberries, a bar of 75% dark chocolate, and a dozen pink roses. Hotch sighed softly and thought, ‘At least someone’s having a good time tonight.’ As the woman who looked oddly familiar to him got to the cashier, they rifled through her purse to find their credit card. She softly said, “Shit.” The cashier told her her total of $25.47. The woman said, “I’m sorry I forgot my wallet in my office. Please just put everything back. Sorry for the inconvenience.” At hearing the woman speak, Aaron recognized the voice of the woman who had sat next to him at Penelope’s performance. The woman seemed to be ready to leave, but Aaron stopped her and said, “I’ve got it.” The woman looked over at him and recognized him immediately. _y/n_, “Oh, No. You don’t have to do that.” Hotch gave her a reassuring smile and replied, “Really, it’s no problem.” He added, “You did very good while onstage by the way. You handled it with grace.” The woman flushed. She said a soft, “Thanks.” After a second, she extended her hand and said, “y/n_, _l/n_.” Aaron took her hand and replied, “Aaron, Hotchner.” _y/n_’s palm was warm in his hand. Lost in the moment, and the woman’s eyes. Hotch asked, “Date night?” At hearing this, _y/n_ seemed to cringe a little bit, and he wondered what he had said wrong. From the small assortment of things _y/n_ was attempting to buy, date night seemed to check out. Date night with Rich, as Pen had said last month. Hotch stopped from sighing at the idea. The woman replied a beat later, “It’s a pity party, actually.” Hearing this, Aaron’s eyes furrowed. _y/n_ quickly clarified, “Let me reframe that in a more positive light. I am taking myself on a date.” There was an awkward silence after that statement and a more awkward cough from the cashier. Aaron stepped up and pulled his card from his wallet in the back left pocket of his jeans. Once he had paid for _y/n_’s groceries, the cashier started scanning his items. The young employee had started to put his groceries in the same bag as _y/n_’s items. Aaron thought about saying something, but he stopped himself. The young man working the till seemed flustered, and he didn’t want to add to the man’s distress. It would be okay if he paid for both groceries and their groceries, and then he could separate _y/n_’s items from his own. _y/n_ stood nearby, tentatively. Once Aaron had paid for his things he grabbed another plastic bag. He shifted through his own items to find _y/n_’s. As he put the four products into the new bag, he had to ask, “‘Pity party?’” Hotch missed the large flush and look of shame on _y/n_’s face as she said candidly, “My boyfriend, ex-boyfriend.. Rich. He kinda cheated on me with my best friend. It’s a whole thing.” Hotch couldn’t help himself from cringing at her honesty. At how painful that must have been for _y/n_. All that Aaron’s brain could supply was a soft, “I’m sorry? I didn’t mean to pry into your personal life.” _y/n_ shrugged her shoulders and said, “I mean, all of my friends and colleagues know. I don’t know why it would be much worse with you in the loop too. Plus you bought me my stuff and I appreciate that.” Aaron flushed again saying, “It’s really nothing given the circumstances.” He held his tongue after that. He had already said too much. Hotch couldn’t figure out where his brain went when he was near _y/n_, but it wasn’t his normal calm and composed self, that’s for sure.

Aaron let _y/n_ go to her car to not hold her up from her ‘date night.’ The recesses of Hotch’s brain wished he could get in the car with _y/n_ and join her in whatever activities she had planned for herself that evening. Hotch reprimanded himself for the thought. _y/n_ had just experienced a real pain, a hurt to the soul, and here he was longing after her like a puppy looking for some attention. For a pat on the back. Using more effort than he wished he had to, Aaron let the moment, the feelings for _y/n_ go. He had to for his well-being. He was certain that it was just fate that he and _y/n_ had bumped into each other twice. As Aaron drove back to his place and unloaded his groceries into his fridge, he found the receipt from the store. The four items from _y/n_ stood out at the top of the waxy paper. Again, he let all of those emotions, which he refused to address, go. Aaron fiddled with the buttons on his shirt and then took off his pants, as he moved into his bedroom. He decided to take a shower to clear his thoughts. Maybe to get another kind of relief that he had been missing since Hailey’s departure. Under the cascade of warm water, Aaron let go with his body and, as he began to dry his form with a warm towel, he cleansed his mind of impure thoughts. He wanted to sleep with an empty mind. One that wouldn’t make him feel guilty. As he drifted off, Hotch hoped _y/n_ had also found some kind of release that night. 

Another month and a half passed before they had their third meeting. It had been the worst team bonding training of all time. The presenter had cheery slides and made high-school-level references to trust and honesty between team members and cohorts. JJ, Rossi, and Morgan had all looked at him with clear disbelief at what they were being subjected to in the hour-long training. When the presenter mentioned something about a trust fall, Aaron almost lost his cool. He could deal with many things, the long hours, the gore he saw weekly, the stress of leading the team, and his eyestrain, but he drew the line at being forced to endure this. He looked over his team with eyebrows drawn taught. When he looked at Garcia she was laughing unabashedly. The presenter was looking at Penelope unsure of himself. Aaron shot Garcia a look that said, “Please, stop now,” even though he wanted to join in on the hilarity of the situation. Once the team had been released from the presenter’s lecture, Hotch gathered the team and said, “Well I promise you all, that…” He gesticulated with his hands, demonstrating, that training, “will never happen again. If you want some real team bonding let's go to that dance hall Emily keeps trying to get us to go to tonight.” Hearing this Prentiss flushed, but she had been saying that it was a really good time and it was. Emily had had a few great evenings at the new dance hall. After a moment of silence, Rossi said, “Here, here. I for one need a stiff drink after whatever that was.” The whole team seemed to relax after this. At eight-thirty, the team arrived at the venue. The space was large and the lot was full for a Tuesday evening. Everyone had changed except Aaron, who had come straight from the office. He had ditched his jacket in the trunk of his car. His suggestion had been an attempt to take Rossi’s advice to lighten up. As soon as he entered the crowded space, he realized that he had miscalculated. Everyone on the floor, those seated at the benches and tables on the sidelines, and those getting drinks at the bar were dressed very casually. His slacks and loafers didn’t belong here. As a way to deflect from making him the odd man out, Aaron offered to get the first round of drinks. As he got the orders from the team, he moved to the bar, and some of the BAU members, Emily, JJ, and Morgan, found partners and moved to the wooden dance floor. With a slew of drinks in tow. Hotch moved back to his friends and colleagues. Rossi, Penelope, and Spencer took a few sips, as they watched the dancers move to the country music. Aaron knew that this was mostly a Southern culture thing, but he understood that dancing was a universal pleasure, even if he wasn’t particularly good at it. His mother had signed him up for cotillion classes in high school and he reluctantly went every week for a month. His mom had wanted him to grow up the perfect gentleman, and even though he maybe hadn’t picked up all the dance moves, he thought he succeeded pretty well at the rest of it. 

As the songs changed there seemed to be some excitement at the center of the floor. A couple was dancing with skill and the other dancers gave them room to improvise their steps and tricks. It was showing off for showing off’s sake. As Aaron looked over the pair on the floor he recognized the woman as _y/n_ from the play and the store. His eyes widened and Hotch looked at Penelope who was also watching _y/n_ with rapt wonder. Aaron turned his eyes back to the floor and the woman was pushed, pulled, dipped, and raised in a multitude of ways and speeds. As _y/n_ was raised in the air, supported by strong arms on her hips, a few cheers came from the crowd and fellow dancers. The woman even waved her hand in acknowledgment of the praise. Uplifted and in the spinning lights, she looked so happy, like she didn’t have a care in the world. Unlike her time on stage, she looked like she belonged up there, floating on air. Hotch felt himself flush all over and he looked away for a second. Rossi watched Aaron’s reaction with more than a little interest. After the song was over there was a small bit of applause at the skill put on display for the crowd. The talented man that had been dancing with _y/n_ kissed her on the cheek chastely. From what Aaron could see, the two were just friends or maybe dance partners, but not much more. Of course, he couldn’t hear what _y/n_ said to him, but as she turned toward Hotch’s group, there were no signs of arousal in her face or body, just unabated joy. Aaron hadn’t seen her this happy before, and he flushed again. Aaron internally told himself to ‘get a grip.' _y/n_ walked toward their table, not noticing them yet.

As she got closer Penelope called out for her saying, “Hey _y/n_, what a surprise to see you here!” The woman looked up and spotted Garcia and beamed. _y/n_ quickly moved over to the huddle of FBI agents and said, “Heya, Pen. What are you doing here?” _y/n_ looked over Rossi, Spencer, and then at Hotch. Her eyes grew a bit wider at seeing him and she said, “And you…” It took her a moment to remember Aaron’s name. When it came to her, she continued, “Aaron.” _y/n_ looked between Garcia and Hotch and asked, “Y’all know each other?” Penelope, ever the enthusiastic conversationalist said, “We all work together. This is my team.” Garica pointed to each of them saying their names. Spencer smiled at _y/n_ when his name was mentioned and Rossi shook her hand warmly. As Aaron’s name came up, _y/n_ gave a soft smile and she said, “It’s nice to see you again, Aaron.” He swallowed and said, “It’s nice to see you too.” And it was nice. To see her so radiant made him feel good. _y/n_, Garcia, and Rossi talked a bit about her dancing abilities and she seemed to shy away from her talent. Garcia couldn’t help herself and asked, “Did you ever take Richard here?” Hotch froze for a moment, unsure if Garcia was aware of the breakup. _y/n_’s soft snort made him feel better as she said, “Are you kidding me? He refused to come because I was better than him at dancing and other people wanted to interact with me. All four pairs of eyes were on her as _y/n_ shared some of her personal life with them. For a team of highly skilled profilers, having someone be so open was a bit strange. Penelope helped cut the feeling and said, “Of course he wouldn’t. The man really needs to get over his own ego. He complained about you and whined for a mouth at least during practice. He still talks about it. Honestly, he’s pathetic.” Garcia saying this had _y/n_ laughing and replied, “Tell me about it. I wished I’d seen it sooner, but c’est la vie I guess.” Penelope nodded along, and after a moment _y/n_ said, “Well I’m going to grab a drink at the bar, but I’ll swing by later if you’re still around. It was nice to see some of you again, and to meet you, Dr. Reid and Dave.” The team all said some form of “see you later,” as she moved away from them. As she passed Hotch, he gave her one of his rare smiles, or more like she had drawn the smile from him. Again Rossi noticed. 

Three songs later _y/n_ was back on the dance floor with a much less skilled dancer. The man had his hands all over _y/n_ after the first minute of music and _y/n_ was constantly moving his hands up, or stopping them from moving lower. She had said twice and to “cut it out” but the man was not listening to her. Hotch and Rossi watched as it happened. Both men felt uncomfortable with what was happening. After another minute, _y/n_ pulled back and away from the man, telling him off. Her face was set in a more sour look as she moved to the sidelines and away from her temporary partner. The man sought to follow her, but Hotch was out of his seat as he watched the situation unfold before him. Rossi breathed a sigh of relief as his friend did this because he was about to do the same and he felt that _y/n_ might be a bit more comfortable with Aaron than himself. Hotch cut the man off from moving any closer to _y/n_ and said with a clear, firm, and determined voice, “Out. Now.” The man didn’t argue and Aaron wasn’t sure if it was his fancy dress or the look on his face, but either way, the man left. Hotch followed him with a searing glare until he left the establishment. Once the guy was gone, he turned to _y/n_ she looked at him with half awe half admiration. He couldn’t pinpoint the second emotion, but it wasn’t negative and that’s what mattered to him. He took two steps closer, getting close to her. He leaned down a bit and asked, “_y/n_, are you alright?” When he looked at her this closely he could see a warmth in her _y/e/c_ eyes. She nodded and said, “I’ll be fine. Unfortunately, that kind of behavior can be par for the course here. Asking total strangers for a dance means not all of them are fantastic people.” Hotch nodded, saying, “Well it still doesn’t make it right.” _y/n_ felt her breath hitch a bit as he said this. He said it with sincerity like he really meant it. _y/n_ had seen plenty of guys try to defend her honor or other cliches like that just to go and disrespect her themselves. She didn’t sense that at all in the tall man standing in front of her. _y/n_ was also impressed with his commanding presence. It had only taken two words to make the man flee the scene. Two. Words. She wondered what else he could do with his voice alone. _y/n_ flushed and looked to the floor for a second. The fact didn’t pass Aaron by. After a second, _y/n_ looked up at him and said, “Can I pay you back for your help with a drink or a dance? I haven’t seen you out on the floor yet. I’d be happy to partner with you if you like?” Hotch shifted a little, suddenly a bit embarrassed. He didn’t feel like another drink. He normally stuck to one or two, and he’d already had a second beer. He wanted to dance with _y/n_ but his two left feet didn’t seem too convinced that he could cut it with someone as skilled as _y/n_. _y/n_ could see his hesitation and said, “I can lead if you like. We can do just real easy steps.” Aaron looked at her and saw that she wouldn’t be embarrassed with him. She genuinely wanted to be with him like that. Hotch flushed again, more lightly this time, and he said, “Alright, I’ll do my best to not trip over my own feet.” _y/n_ chuckled as they took his hand and led him to a quieter part of the floor. A bit away from the team, which Hotch was grateful for; though he was sure the team was probably watching him. He didn’t blame them, he’d watch too if he could. 

The dance went well. _y/n_ turned out to be a skilled instructor for him. He did try very hard to follow the steps and let _y/n_ improv off his lacking moves. At one point _y/n_ even let him do a little spin, which was very awkward given how much taller he was than her. He had to let go of her hand to make the 360-degree rotation. They had both laughed good-naturedly at how silly it was. When he was being treated like this, Aaron didn’t mind not having control. After another song, the music took a sudden change from country and swing to slow sensual music. _y/n_ let his hands go and took a step back. Aaron looked around, not sure why there had been such a dramatic change. People were slow dancing now and he looked to _y/n_ for clarity. _y/n_ gave him a gentle smile and said, “The last hour is always slow music so those who don’t like swing dancing or line dancing get a turn. I think it’s nice. Inclusive in a way. Aaron nodded and said, “Oh.” He stood still for a moment. He looked to the ground for an instant wondering how he was going to ask if she wanted to continue to dance. Because he did want to keep dancing with her. When he looked up, she was looking at him. _y/n_ was biting down lightly on the inside of her cheek. She couldn’t see that her pupils were blown wide with desire. Her fingers were tapping against her leg lightly. _y/n_ wanted Aaron’s hands back in hers. Or behind her back while her arms rested on his shoulders. She wanted to be inexplicably close to him at that moment. Hotch didn’t say anything, didn’t need to say anything as he bridged the gap between them. His hands found purchase on her hips and _y/n_’s hand moved up to his shoulders. His hands glided over his chest softly. Aaron closed his eyes, and they both moved on instinct. With what was comfortable for them. _y/n_ melted into his touch, and his large hands gently landed on her body. They were warm and held her firmly like he was afraid that she might slip away if he let go. _y/n_ would be happy to reassure him that she would likely follow him to the ends of the earth even though she had only met him three times before. Aaron’s cologne smelled of rye and spruce, but it wasn’t the overpowering stuff teens and insecure men used with a heavy hand. This was refined. Elevated. It took a lot of what she had in her to not rest her head on his chest and take a deep breath. After two more songs, Aaron looked down at her and she seemed so at peace with him holding her close. And for the first time in a very long time, he leaped before he looked, as he leaned down further. He was slow, giving _y/n_ time to stop him, but she didn’t. Instead, she tipped her head up to meet his lips. The kiss was soft, respectful of how new and potentially strange this was, but neither could deny that the feeling was blissful. Hotch didn’t even care that JJ, Garcia, and Emily all had their mouths open in pure shock at his actions. 

_y/n_ and Aaron’s relationship moved at a normal pace. As much as they had both been drawn to each other the night they had first kissed, both parties wanted to give the other space. To make sure things were comfortable and natural. _y/n_ wasn’t the type to commit to anything without fulling thinking and feeling it out. Aaron was the same for obvious reasons. But they had found a love and care between them, along with a passion that _y/n_ and Hotch had pretty much expected given the events the night at the dance hall. They both learned about each other, their jobs, and the intricacies of their lives. And after all that _y/n_ still wanted him, and Aaron was amazed at how nice it was to have someone steady to lean on. To care for while he wasn’t working. Someone had loved him back as intensely. As it turned out _y/n_ lectured _y/f/a(s)/s_ at _y/u_. And because of this, he was driving toward the university campus in _y/n_’s car with her in the passenger seat. They were chatting about his day in the office. Aaron was recounting some stories of Reid’s and _y/n_ listened with rapt attention. Hotch was being careful with his driving as it was near the college, which meant freshman with cars they hardly needed, and those partying a little too hard on Halloween night. They got onto campus proper and _y/n_ directed him to the parking lot. He had asked her if she wanted to take his car and she had reminded him that she had the faculty sticker on her windshield and he didn’t. She teased, “I don’t even think your FBI ID would persuade parking services. They are relentless in their mission.” Hotch had laughed at this and she warmed at hearing it. Aaron’s laugh sounded like a river running over smooth stones to her. It was gentle and mellow. Once they had parked, the pair moved to the _y/s’s/d’s/b_. The doors were still open given that some grad classes were still being held. 

Three weeks ago Aaron had asked her if she was doing anything on Halloween and if she wanted to spend the evening with him. As _y/n_ listened to his question, she sighed and said, “I’m holding an extra credit opportunity for my students. We’re watching The Exorcist and then discussing it, but being with you sounds so nice. You could sit with me while we watch it and then hang out at my place after? That is if you don’t have Jack of course. Let’s not terrorize him so early on.” Hotch let out a breathy laugh and said, “Jack’s going to be with Hailey at some school trunk or treat event and he’s staying at her place to sleep off the sugar high. You’d let me sit in with you? In front of your students?” _y/n_ let out a little breath. She hadn’t expected him to say yes. She replied quickly, happily, “Of course I would! I mean most of my students know I have a partner, they might as well see you. And you can tell off students trying to canoodle while Regan gets possessed as have my eyes tightly shut.” Hotch chuckled and said, “Well I’ll leave the disciplining up to you, but I’m happy to be moral support and to calm your fear.” So they made the plans now they were walking the mostly empty hallways and up to the third floor. _y/n_ beeped into the faculty work room to print out the sign-in sheet and a guide for the most scary parts of the film for those who were like her; a scardey cat. As she moved into the small space and logged in to the computer, Aaron leaned against the door frame, filling the space. As the copies printed, she looked up at him and said, “I wish you’d follow me around all the time when I work. You could be a ghost haunting me.” Aaron smiled and said, “If I followed you around you’d soon learn that I’d fail your class. And we can’t have that, now can we?” The copies finished and _y/n_ grabbed them saying, “I’ve seen your writing, Aaron you are more than competent.” Hotch moved out of the way and his hand found hers as they moved to the lecture hall. _y/n_ had reserved the space because she expected a good turnout, the screen was large, and the audio system was reliable. _y/n_ asked Hotch to prop open the door with a chair. While he did this, she moved to the technology at the front of the room to the left of the lectern. _y/n_ signed into her Amazon and pulled up the film, checking the audio levels and turning on the closed captions for those who might need them. Aaron moved to _y/n_ and offered to take her purse for her. She smiled and nodded and he moved to the back of the room. He sat down near the center of the row. He called out across the space, “This good?” _y/n_ nodded and said back in a clear voice that carried in the space, “Perfect sweetheart.” 

_y/n_ continued to stand at the front of the room and after another minute or so some students started to ramble in. _y/n_ instructed them to sign in on the sheet near the door. Many of the students had brought friends, roommates, boyfriends, or girlfriends along for moral support, or to laugh at the scary bits. _y/n_ had some casual conversations with some of the students and Aaron watched on with admiration. It was clear to him that _y/n_ had a connection with these young adults trying to figure life out for the first time. A few of the students noticed Aaron sitting at the back of the room, but none of them said anything to him or sat near him. It finally hit 7:30 p.m., and _y/n_ said, “Alright everyone, thanks for coming out. Let’s get going with the movie so you can all go out to the square or you’re older friends’s parties I’m not going to hear about on Thursday. Remember we’re paying attention so we can answer questions after.” Hearing this, the kids let out some laughs and chuckles. _y/n_ nearly forgot about the guides and said quickly, “Does anyone want a sheet with timestamps for the scares? Any other wimps out there like me?” There was silence and _y/n_ laughed at herself and said, “Alright guys, but don’t blame me when you have bad dreams tonight.” With that, _y/n_ started the film and moved to the door. She removed the chair and switched off the lights so the only light remaining was the two glowing exit signs on either side of the room. _y/n_ moved back to him and took a seat on his left side. It was dark and they were in the back, so she slipped her hand into his He gave it a gentle squeeze. True to her word, _y/n_ did close her eyes during some of the more difficult points of the movie. Now and then there would be some quiet chatter from the students. Some got up and opened the door to use the restroom. One student made it back to them to say they wanted to leave early to “go to their dorm.” _y/n_ smiled at the girl and said, “Okay, just make sure you’re signed in.” The teen nodded and said, “Thanks. See you Thursday.” At the end of the film, as Father Karras passes away, Hotch looks over _y/n_’s face. Her eyes were a bit misty. She had warned him that she got emotional at the end. She had looped him in because she didn’t want him to worry that she was so scared that she was crying, or crying for some other unknown reasons. As the credit started rolling, _y/n_ wiped her eyes and she moved to the front of the room.

She paused the movie and said, “Alright everyone, shield your eyes, the lights are coming back on.” Once the lights were on and everyone could see again, _y/n_ moved to the side of the lectern and leaned against it. She started by saying, “I’m going to make this quick because I’m sure there are places you want to be that aren’t here, and because I’m tired.” Hotch half knew that she wanted to be with him too, and it made him smile. _y/n_ asked, “So, what’s the tone of the film?” There was a brief silence, but then a young man said, “It’s camp.” That got a laugh from everyone and then opened the door for the class to bounce some ideas off each other. They spoke about theme and religion, and whether Regan or Chris acted as the final girl. They talked about Father Karra’s characterization and story arc. _y/n_ helped lead the conversation,  but let her students talk and express their views. She asked, “So we’ve read the novel and seen the film and talked about the religious symbolism and overtones. So tell me what in the film is transubstantiated?” At this, there was a lingering silence. One girl offered, “Regan’s vomit?” _y/n_ chuckled and said, “Close, anyone else?” Aaron couldn’t help himself, because he also wanted to know the answer, so he said, “Is it Regan herself?” His comment reverberated to the front and twenty-one pairs of eyes turned to him. Hotch felt called out, but _y/n_ pulled the the student’s attention back to her by saying, “Yes very good. Now I can’t claim anything about authorial intent, but in my opinion, Regan is transubstantiation a literal transformation of her body and blood.” 

_y/n_ quickly wrapped up the extra credit after that. A few minutes later Hotch and _y/n_ were back outside and headed to her car. They had stopped her her office for her to pick up a stack of papers that needed to be graded. Aaron smiled when he saw a picture of him and Jack pinned to the wall next to her degree. He leaned down and kissed her gently. As they pulled back, he said, “I love you, _y/n_.” _y/n_ hummed happily back at him. In the cold night, they moved across the campus grounds. It was dark and Aaron wrapped an arm around _y/n_’s waist, pulling her close to him. They passed by one of the emergency stations which looked to be broken. He looked down to _y/n_ and asked, “You keep a taser on you when you’re here at night, right?” _y/n_ looked up at him and said, “I carry pepper spray. I haven’t gotten a taser yet, but I will.” Hotch nodded as they walked into the parking garage. Aaron had done loads of research about the safety of the university once _y/n_ had told him where they worked. He had seen too many cases on college campuses to not be concerned for _y/n_’s safety. When they got back to the car, Aaron opened the door for _y/n_. She settled in and he moved to his seat. He turned on the heater and they cruised out onto the street. They talked a bit about the film, and Aaron asked why she cried at the end. What it meant to her. _y/n_ did her best to explain the real love and sacrifice Karras made to save Regan. How seeing Pazuzu restored his faith. _y/n_ made sure to clarify, “Even if a person doesn’t have faith, or that type of faith, I think pretty much anyone can see that he was finally at peace at the end.” Aaron nodded along, listening to her intently. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Hotch asked, “So, how did I do Prof? Was my answer to your question actually right?” _y/n_ chuckled and said “I think you were right. Regan’s transformation was literal and it was the answer I was hoping for.” She looked over Aaron, his face lit by the streetlamps and dashboard. He was so beautiful to her and she added, “I give you an A for effort.” Hotch smiled at her comments, saying, “I’m happy to help. And hey, an A. You’ll make a good student of me yet.” 

When they got to her place, they moved to the front door and _y/n_ pulled her keys from her purse and let them in. The bowl she had left out that had been filled with candy was now running low, and even though it was late, there weren’t going to be many more kids. _y/n_ moved to the counter and dumped more candy into the container. With that done, she locked the door behind her. Aaron and _y/n_ moved to her room and kicked off their shoes and socks. They changed into comfy clothes before crawling into bed. Three months into their relationship, they both kept a few pairs of clothes in the other’s space. In the bed, they were next to each other, the back of _y/n_’s head resting on his chest, her body positioned between his opened legs. Hotch’s hands moved over her chest and torso before moving lower slowly. He watched _y/n_ in the soft light of her lamps. Seeing her like this, seeing her care for her students, and for him made him nuzzle his face in her hair. It smelled of vanilla. As Aaron’s hand moved to a more intimate place, _y/n_’s intake of breath told him that she enjoyed what he was doing. She had told him many, many times that he was skilled in that area. The thought of her praise had him excited in his pants. Hotch asked in a low voice, full of desire, “Do you think I can get something more for my insightful comments than a hypothetic A?” _y/n_ squirmed a bit with pleasure before moving out between his legs. She moved to face him and kneeled in front of him. As her hand started moving over him and he let out a groan, she said, “For you Aaron, I’d do anything.”

______________________________________________________________

Taglist: @criminalskies @tgskitten @geminitapestry @sadgirlzluvdilfs

Want to join the taglist? See this post, CM Taglist (linked)

[karliesbuzzcut]

So I don’t know how you guys feel about the ‘Realistic Kaylor Timeline’ that’s been doing the rounds on this corner of the internet. I’m guessing some of you might feel conflicted, others might strongly disagree with some parts of it - but do not worry. I’m here to tell you how to feel about it: you love it. Because it’s mandatory to love anything that can get such a feral reaction out of TTB.

Today I’m bringing you

Top 7 Moments from TTB vs. Swiftiesleuth 2020

Fair wairning: I’m going to be very biased - I’ve not made my adoration for @swiftiesleuth a secret at all.

1. TTB’s grand entrance. LLLLLET’S GET READY TO TUMBLRRRRR!

Her disjointed sentences already let you know she’s a bit shaken “FAKE NEWS! The author admits they do not have inside knowledge like I do! I have all the inside knowledge, they only have outside knowledge, which ew - it’s muddy outside, and there’s bugs.”

2. Married people don’t ‘bonk’ - they make respectful and dignified love to each other. Preferably from opposite sides of the room.

My favourite was definitely when she said “if you’re a queer woman then you should really think about how you talk”. I vote for unpacking this one.

That ‘if’ - because of course, TTB has to perform a background check on you before she allows you to join The Gays.

That ‘should’. Please, TTB, complete that thought for us. Why is it that, as a queer woman, swiftiesleuth should do something in particular? You are not implying that she has to be especially careful about her words because she’s queer, right? I mean, you wouldn’t 😱 you’re a Social Justice Warrior after all.

TTB doesn’t like to be called “dude” either:

Which is why I suggest we all start calling her ‘Our Dude’. She will be our collective dude. And we can all be her little Dudes! It’ll be delightful, I’m telling ya.

3. In the year of our lord 2020, TTB decides it’s a good idea to pull the “I can’t be racist; my best friend is black” - but make it Jewish.

On this one I want to take a bit of a more serious tone, so I’ll limit myself to only one fart joke. I had no idea there were circumstances in which you couldn’t say you ‘converted’ to Judaism. I genuinely love that this seemingly silly passtime of mine actually teaches me new things. Now, I’m going to take a wild-ass guess and say TTB didn’t know that either... but more on this coming up.

Right now, let’s all rejoice at her choice of saying “I have facts” and right afterwards “Kaylor is likely already married”.

Kaylor, the sole entity, is married.

4. TTB tells herself “You know what? I haven’t been racist enough today”

At this point, TTB has become a cautionary tale about what happens to a person when they get married to an idea. It’s genuinely scary for me to think that my brain could trick me to such an extent that I could no longer process information that contradicts my beliefs. Just imagine it, there’s something about someone else’s religion that doesn’t make sense to you, and you decide to draw your conclusions from there. Okay, cool. Then someone from said religion explains that thing that didn’t make sense. And your reaction isn’t “oh, I maybe I should think about that, this person clearly knows more than me about this particular subject”. No. Your reaction instead is “I am entitled to my beliefs”

ISN’T THAT TERRIFYING!?

But more importantly... Isn’t that fucking racist? Wait... what? You are saying that isn’t racist enough? You think TTB should’ve also said that people don’t get to be offended by a word ‘only because it has been used as a slur in the past’? And then suggest to the person who asked her not to use that word - a person who is directly affected by that kind of bigotry - to get a dictionary? Nooo, come on, that’d be overkill. We are not trying to build a cartoon villain here!

5. Whaler and TTB are disappointed parents.

Truly emps, how dare you have a mind of your own. We raised you better than that!

I loooove that this day and age a fucking reblog means unconditional support to the author of the post... I’d watch that Black Mirror episode.

6. Both swiftiesleuth & TTB leave the chat with a motherfucking BANG.

I thought that I had hit comedy nirvana when Swiftiesleuth asked if her LGBTQ flavour bothered TTB and I thought no way in hell would TTB respond to that. BUT SHE DID. Aren’t you glad to be alive to witness that? “I have no knowledge of your flavour” she says. Well, TTB, I have no knowledge of Swiftiesleuth’s flavour either, but I’m working on fixing that *double winky face*

BUT TTB was like “talking about someone’s flavour isn’t hilarious enough, let’s leave this conversation with my best material”. And reminded us all of the percentage of black people she has working for her. I wonder if she decided to do the maths right after assembling her team or after she realised she could use it as an argument. Either way, super normal behaviour.

Also, also. I’d love to know what she considers a minority “well... Gerald has a pet snake... that should bring my minority percentage up by a couple points”

7. Special guests!

You wouldn’t be able to tell by how late to the party I was, but this was a big event here on Tumblr. Everybody was there... I’m told. Because I already feel like I’ve been working on this post for the past decade, I’ll keep it short and cute.

In one corner we have whaler and swift-79,

Obligatory bulletpoint list about all the things I loved about this post:

It wasn’t enought that TTB questioned swiftiesleuth’s queerness. Whaler said “fuck it - I’m questioning this bitch’s name as well” “Nat?” “you don’t look like a Nat” “but if you insist on identifying yourself as a Nat...” “I’ll put it in air quotes though”

I’m sorry... “If we are judging from pictures”? Isn’t that all that Kaylors do in 2020? No. No. I’m sorry. You guys also have emojis, sorry!

“Even Enty has questions about his sexuality” 😱 What? Enty? A blog dedicated to posting a constant stream of celebrity gossip once said that someone, somewhere, might be gay? No! 😱

I think swiftiesleuth was accused again of working for Scooter? Conspiracy Theorists are so adorably predictable, every time anyone disagrees with them (worse if that person seems to have done some research) somebody has to yell “they’re working for the enemy!”

Anyway, time for our final guest: the lovely @youlooklikebadnews , who I could’ve asked to write this whole post for me because they definitely did a better job than me at summarising the whole thing. But not only that, they were lucky enough to get a response from TTB.

...At this point I’m fairly certain that I’ll get invited to a Secret Session before TTB ever acknowledges my existence.

Doesn’t this read like what the villain says at the end of a shitty movie? Teasing a sequel and everything?

“You have not seen the last of TTB! I’ll be back with more proof and no copyright issues! KARLIE AND TAYLOR WILL RISE! Then you will see! YOU WILL ALL SEE!”

*flourishes cape and disappears into the night*

[nekoannie-chan]

Suffocation

Pairing: Brock Rumlow X Mutant! Reader

Word count: 1585 words.

Summary: How did the fact that people didn't accept mutants in the past affect you?

Warnings: Angst, lots of angst, panic attacks, PTSD, low self-esteem, past anti-mutant sentimental and actions, depression, anxiety.

A/N: “Mutie” is a derogatory way to call the mutants that some people use in The Gifted.

The sources I checked are in Spanish because I need to understand deeply all the concepts and are these: PTSD 1, PTSD 2, panic attack 1, panic attack 2

Flashbacks are in italics.

The dream is in italics and bold.

This is my entry to the @golden-ariess ‘s Lucid Dreams Writing Challenge with the prompt:

“You keep saying love isn’t real, how would you know if you haven’t given it a real chance”

Also is my entry to the @jbbarnesnnoble ‘s  Mental Health Awareness Month Writing Challenge with the dialogue prompt #4:

“You ever feel like you can’t breathe? Like the whole world is collapsing in on itself and no one notices? No one cares? Like you can’t escape it?”

And my entry to the @stareyedplanet ‘s Lin’s 100 Follower Challenge with the angst prompt # 8:

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong. And don’t try lying to me!”

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistake please let me know and I will correct it.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics be posted in other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and is not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

My other media where I publish: Wattpad, Ao3, ffnet.

If you like it please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

These days were always difficult, the memories... Despite seeking help, it seemed as if it hadn't worked, the medication wasn't a solution either, it wasn't helping you at all, but your powers were affected. You've already tried too many things, but NOTHING worked.

You saw how your other team members were happy, but it was like you felt like you didn't deserve it... or rather as if something was going to happen and it would ruin it.  

You couldn't help thinking that you could have done something else to save them... if you had never made those mistakes...  

You were out of the room when the team showed up, basically just seeing them for training and missions, other than that, you avoided them, Brock realized; it wasn't the first time you'd done it and that worried him.  

It was known that Brock was not very expressive with his feelings, like you, so everyone was surprised when they discovered that you and he had a relationship.

 You had your head hidden in your arms on the base garden table after a long workout.  

The night before you had that nightmare again, that nightmare that always seemed so real, but you knew it couldn't be real; it was simply the memories that overwhelmed your mind. It was always so real as if you were back in those moments.

"Are you too tired because of training?” Brock asked you sitting in front of you.  

You raised your head when you heard it and you just nodded.  

"You're lying," he said.  

"I beg your pardon?”  

"Whenever you lie, you're lying, nose wrinkles, and it gives you away," Brock said. 

You were perplexed, you've never noticed, you'd pay more attention the next time.  

"Have you been spying on me? “You questioned trying to change the subject of conversation.

"What? No, it's just a very noticeable thing," Brock said.  

"So what?” 

"Don't change the subject, you seem to be hiding something and the presence of others...” 

"Nobody likes mutants and it's not something new," you interrupted him.  

"Don't say those things, I do, I like you Y/N," he replied.  

"You must be joking, I don't like anyone, love is for children, it's not real; It's just a lie... 

"It's not true, if only...” 

"If only nothing, I say it because it's the truth.”

“You keep saying love isn’t real, how would you know if you haven’t given it a real chance” 

You opened your mouth without being able to say anything, your mind was trying to process what you just heard.  

"Give me a chance, I can prove you wrong," Brock continued.  

He came close enough and kissed you, you kissed him too. 

 You opened your eyes, again you were in your high school, but alone inside the classroom, you opened the door, the hallway seemed empty, you started walking, the other doors of the place were closed, you breathed deep, trying not to panic, the road took you to the gym.  

Suddenly a basketball hit your back, you turned around and you were surrounded by your classmates, who started throwing you more and more balls. 

“Get out of here mutie, we don't want you here,” 

"You're not well received.”  

"All muties do is bring troubles.”  

You were going backwards, you wanted them to shut up, you didn't see the pool behind you and when you fell into it, you tried to get out, you couldn't, the panic in you started to increase, you couldn’t breathe...

 “Y/N!” Brock called you again trying to wake you up. 

You woke up and tried to get him off his back thinking you were still dreaming while you were screaming. 

"It's me, Brock, you're safe, it was just a nightmare," he said, trying to sound calm.  

"Brock?” You asked between sobs. 

"Yes babe, it's me.”  

You hugged him and wept in his arms, he stroked your hair to comfort you.  

"Do you want to talk?” He asked.  

You shook your head, you kept your head sunk in your chest.  

"Y/N, don't you want to play monopoly with us? Natasha invited you.  

"No thanks," you declined.

"Come on Y/N," Brock tried to cheer you up. 

"No, I have... things to do.”  

You knew that if you stayed with them for a long time, something bad would happen, or worse, you thought that at any moment I was going to attack you for being a mutant.  

The team had broken into a mission, you didn't know where the others were, you went into a small room, you checked your gun, you no longer had ammunition, you locked the door if any enemy found you, and you were at a disadvantage.

You tried to open the door after a few moments, but this one didn't give way. You had become trapped, you felt that you could not breathe, you were terrified, you had tried to ask for help through the intercom, no sound came out of your mouth, you were paralyzed from fear, and you could not bear to be in dark or small places for long.  

You felt that space was shrinking, as if the walls were moving to trap you, you couldn't think clearly, no one knew you were there.

 The guy you liked took your hand, at sixteen it was too exciting. 

"Do you think we should go in?” He asked you pointing his head towards the door in front of them.  

You nodded shyly, was he going to kiss you, what was going to happen in there?  

He opened the door, turned to you and smiled at you.  

"Ladies first," he said by holding your hand to get you in.  

Once you were near the door he pushed you hard inside the place and closed on the outside.   

"This is what the muties deserve," he said from the outside.

You tried to open it, but it was stuck, you screamed, it seemed that no one was listening to you or if they did they were ignoring you and probably mocking you; you weren't sure if it was minutes or hours, the anguish was starting to grow, you were in the dark, you didn't know there was around you; somehow you managed and managed to get out with the help of your powers, outside there was no one and it was dark.  

You immediately went to your house, your parents were worried, and they didn't know where you'd been. 

"Y/N, where were you?”  

"A guy in my class locked me up...”  

Someone knocked on the door interrupting, your father peeked out.  

"You need to leave, the Sentinel Services is here," he ordered you.

Your mom got you out of the house, yet they got caught, you got to hear her screams asking you to leave.  

That day you ran like you've never done before. They had died at the Mutant Detention Center.

 Brock managed to find you, opened the door, called you several times, but it was like you didn't hear it, he came over and took your hand.  

"Baby, can you hear me?”  

There was no answer, your face reflected terror, with the other hand raised your face. 

"Y/N, come on, breathe with me, everything's fine.”  

You did what he told you. 

"Are you all right? He asked you after they got off the ship on their way back. 

"Yes," you answered and set out to enter the base. 

Brock took your arm and stopped you, he needed to know what was going on.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong. And don’t try lying to me!”

"I'm fine.”  

"Y/N, you lie, I know you very well, you hide something, and you can trust me.”  

There was no escape, you knew sooner or later you had to tell him what happened.

“You ever feel like you can’t breathe? Like the whole world is collapsing in on itself and no one notices? No one cares? Like you can’t escape it?”

"No, I've never felt it," he replied a confusedly.  

"Forget it," you answered, trying to get out. 

 "Please, I love you and I want to help you.”  

"Can we go somewhere else? I don't want others to know.” 

You went to the bedroom you shared, you sat on the bed, and you took some air.  

"Since my classmates found out I was a mutant... they played jokes on me and gave me horrible nicknames; especially the girls, once they left me locked up in the dark, I had to use my powers to get out, but that meant that the Sentinel Services were for my family and me to our house, I managed to run away thanks to my mom, but they did not make it. Bad things always happen to people I love because of me...

"Is that why you're turning away from everyone?” He interrupted you.  

"I don't deserve to be happy...” 

"No, don't say that you're not to blame for anything," Brock said, stroking your face.  

"But...” 

"You know, my mother and I ran away from my father, he beat us, in the end, I think we have some things in common, but that doesn't matter, I don't even care if you're a mutant or not, all I know is that I love you, I'll help you and I'll support you with everything.”  

You smiled shyly, then you kept telling him everything that had happened over the years. He listened to you carefully while still hugging you.  

He was going to be whatever it took to make you happy.

[doktoreth]

Rebuttal against dragon-ball-meta

So my stupid ass has no idea how tumblr works, even to this day. After meta responded, I wasn’t able to reblog his stuff, message him, or even follow him. I’m quite certain he blocked me, which is . . . unexpected to say the least. And sad. A real eye-opener, that is. Here’s my rebuttal to his response. Someone let me know if he replies again or something, maybe copy+paste his shit for me, I dunno. Let’s begin:

Hey, thanks for responding, man. Appreciate it.

It’s Toriyama’s words against yours, pal. Regardless of how it was ignored or overwritten, none of this actually precludes its canonical connection with the main story. This isn’t actually an argument against filler’s canonicity, it just reaffirms the admittedly nonsensical connection Toriyama himself decided to establish. Let’s examine the entirety of the last scan(remember, fourth post):

“12: From time to time, il would happen that people whom I didn't even know were approaching me about the anime. Things were often said like: "Oh jeeze, between the manga and the anime, you must never take any time to let yourself breathe!". In reality, I had hardly worked at all on the anime, I had put confidence in my collaborators. I had enough to do just with the manga. I didn't want to work myself to death, you know...

Toriyama: I want to live until I'm 100 years old!

13: For example, drawing an image of a movement in a manga is relatively simple, but to animate this image, you had to decompose the movement and draw all the intermediary movements. That demands a colossal amount of work. (Ok, the example of Kame-sennin might not be the most appropriate...)”

Nothing much here. He’s essentially elaborating on how much his work is cut out for him. Now all that’s left is the final quotes:

“14: Of course, those who have read Dragon Ball have noticed that certain stories which are found in the anime didn't existe in the manga.

Oolong: What's this? I never saw that in the manga....”

Toriyama and Oolong mention the original stories found in the anime, the filler stories. Obviously.

“END: As one adventure in the manga corresponds to about 10 minutes of animation, and since one episode comprises on average 30 minutes, the entire series of Dragon Ball would have passed by very quickly. The team of animators therefore had to insert some original stories. I admire what they have done, that's a hell of a job!”

Toriyama’s reasoning for inserting original stories is padding, as you know. He’s not talking about how it’s fine if people like both or how the padding didn’t upset him. Anywho, we know that when he speaks of “original stories”, he’s speaking in a narrative context.

“Toriyama: Dragon Ball, it's the anime and the manga!”

Whereas the previous quote denotes his reasoning, this final quote confirms his overall treatment of the anime, being that it along with the manga comprise one wholesome narrative. Everyone knows it’s for the sake of padding. That’s been obvious from the very beginning. Still doesn’t negate Toriyama’s clear and explicit connection between the two mediums. Remember, Toriyama > You/Me.

I’m not sure what your point is in saying I think those types of alterations are “akin” to the driving episode. My view on the filler’s canonicity is akin to Toriyama’s. I also think it was a stupid decision on his part to establish such a connection for reasons I’m sure you’d agree with, such as character breaking moments and inconsistent power levels. I see filler as supplementary evidence for Plague, honestly. He doesn’t need ‘em to defend Tien.

See, the issue there is that all that fandom backlash and meme shit is frankly an insignificant indicator as to where his popularity is concerned. Weekly Jump 1993 has Krillin living the good life just behind Piccolo, Weekly Jump 1995 has Krillin taking more of a backseat and yet he’s still popular enough to remain in the top 10, and Dragon Ball Forever has Krillin just catching up back to Piccolo. He’s evidently the most popular human character, so I’m not at all out of line in connecting the dots (or votes, in this case) to his relevancy in the series. No conceit or irrational dislike here, meta, when I’ve mostly no problems with Krillin’s treatment in the series, only how others like Tien are being left in the dust.

Christ, this again? I can tell this conversation is heading to, “Oh, Krillin’s progress makes sense for his status as the strongest human” instead of addressing Plague’s overall gripe. Frankly, the exact point of plateau is too vague and arbitrary to pinpoint for any of these guys. Meta, please listen, just listen: I believe you. Krillin’s progression making him surpass Tien WITHOUT artificial power boosts is realistic. Would it have happened eventually or inevitably? Neither of us know, but that was never the point, which is that Tien’s importance as a fighter is no less than that of Krillin, and yes, even Yamcha. Plague’s premise was never reliant on Tien being the strongest, he touched on that for literally only a few seconds near the end, so let’s drop this tangent on who would’ve surpassed whom, yeah?

Well, first off, I would respectfully ask you to quell your bias for Krillin, as Plague’s video on Tien touches on him quite infrequently anyway. You spend too much time on this subject, and while I’m happy to engage you on it, it’s quite the digression. His videos being internet comedy videos (scroll down and you’ll find his comment), he makes sure to stay on point without rambling off-topic. The comedic value of his content would be severely diminished if he was all like, “Tien is fading into irrelevancy in comparison to other fan favorites”, instead of saying, “This is a Toriyama handjob.” You can call this intellectual dishonesty from a dishonest hack, I call it what it is: comedy. If you can discern no difference between the two in relation to his actual points, then I can’t help you there. I can only hope I’ve made everyone here more open-minded and vice versa.

I’m beginning to think you haven’t watched his video, meta. He doesn’t think Toriyama hates Tien. He called Tien’s stand against Cell his “greatest accomplishment” in the end of the video, albeit begrudgingly. Any examples in Z are mere digressions, anyway, as he specifically criticizes Tien’s treatment in SUPER. Anyone can look at Tien’s entry into the ToP and take that to mean he was kept important; Tien’s performance was a joke comparatively even in terms of strategy, forget power. His only notable achievements are Tri-Beaming an already incapacitated Za Priccio, courtesy of Roshi, earning Tien a knockout and his FIRST EVER ATTACK landed on an enemy that isn’t a Frieza soldier, and the most humiliating ringout ever in the form of using clones to tackle Harmira off the ring AFTER Tien’s original body was thrown off when he just as well could’ve used one measly clone as bait beforehand. Yes, power isn’t the sole indicator, but it’s the most important one in Dragon Ball. So when the ToP is played up to be needing more strategy, Tien is still treated as a joke of an afterthought.

That’s great, meta. Neither do I and neither does Plague.

I wildly disagree. His thoughts are spot on precisely because he acknowledges Tien’s motivations as a character. I don’t find them argued from emotion any more than I find yours regarding Krillin, tbh. It’s okay for you to be wrong sometimes too, meta.

P.S. You’ve said this already. I agree. I think the same can be argued for Tien given the extremely vague context as to what certain side guys have been doing off-screen. I’m literally watching the Tien video for the third time (you don’t stop talking about this, so I need to make sure), and I get the impression that Plague’s mad about Tien’s piss-poor performance comparatively rather than him being the strongest human (again, this was NOT the crux of his argument).

P.P.S You’ve . . . made this point already. Nobody said this. Plague didn’t say this. Jesus. He never even spoke of Krillin’s popularity to begin with. I know why Krillin’s popular. Hell, I loved his character from the very beginning. Krillin, Krillin, Krillin, Krillin, Krillin. We get it, meta.

[sydney-the-patriot-blog]

I was recently engaged in debate with a user named apersnicketylemon. The user replied one last time then blocked me so I could not respond. I typed out an entire counter argument before realizing I had been blocked and Tumblr was not allowing me to reblog the post. So, for anybody who was actually following that, here is my final retort. You can find the original debate on my page.

1. Alabama is a deeply red state. For a state made up mostly of conservatives to vote a democrat into office, a significant amount of conservatives in Alabama must have voted democrat. There aren't enough liberals in Alabama for Jones to have won if only a small portion of conservatives voted for him. More conservatives voted democrat than voted republican. This is basic math. You're not stupid.

2. If the people who voted for Moore are right-wing extremists, would you also argue that the students burning their own campuses and punching people in the face in protest when a republican comes to speak at their university are somehow NOT left-wing extremists? There always have been and always will be absurd people in the world. By your logic, people like ANTIFA must also be pulled closer toward the right. Unless you're actually not interested in evening things out at all and that's just an excuse to say it's okay to try and force people of differing opinions to agree with you, which is what I suspect is actually your motivation in saying that.

3. Even the Brookings Institute (which is left-leaning, by the way, and has been bitching about this bill for a while) admitted that 80.4% of Americans will see a tax cut through this bill and only 4.8% will see an increase. The average annual cut will be about $2,140, which is not an insignificant amount of money. 2027 is a long ways away and, I don't know if you noticed yet, but the right wing is going for a full tax reform. We want to lower taxes for everyone, not just the middle class. This bill is only the first step. Give it time.

4. Don't give me that "the system keeps wealthy people in power" bullshit. According to, again, the Brookings Institute, which is, again, left-leaning, there are only three things you have to do to avoid being permanently poor in the United States. You have to graduate high school, you have to hold down a job, and you have to get married before you have babies. That's it. These things are not exactly hard to do. 72% of people born poor who follow this formula will move into the middle class before age 30. There is tremendous income mobility in the U.S. Also, wealthy people don't all necessarily stay wealthy. "The 1%" doesn't refer to an actual group of people. The 1% is a buzzword that actually means very little. People move in and out of the 1% all the time, unless they're Bill Gates. Nobody "stays in power."

5. In what world does a dozen not mean twelve? It literally means twelve.

6. I scoured the internet for 30 minutes after reading your last reply looking for some hard evidence that he stole tax money or accepted gifts from foreign ambassadors. If the best you've got is "they payed to stay at his hotel!!!" then you're seriously reaching. Again, I don't like Trump. He does stupid things. I think having foreign ambassadors stay at Trump Towers and not even having the common courtesy to wave the bill is dumb and rude as shit, but I don't think it should be considered "accepting a gift" and I don't think it calls for impeachment.

7. 21 separate accusations of rape does not mean he is probably a rapist. It means there were millions of Hillary supporters who really, really, really didn't want him to president and thought the world would most definitely explode in 2017 if he won. If I go out onto the street right now, find a hardcore leftist and tell them I'm in favor of the tax bill that just passed, I would be labeled a nazi, among other things. I don't trust any of the shit leftists say when they're willing to label anybody who disagrees with them a literal Hitler supporter.

8. Even if Trump is a rapist, which I highly doubt, I still don't support a rapist, because I don't support Trump (this is like the third time I've said that but whatever.) I don't cheer on people, I cheer on ideas. My goal is to analyze and criticize him, and every other political figure, fairly. I actually criticize Trump more than I agree with him. But when I see people spreading blatant lies about ideas Trump supports for no reason other than the fact that they don't like him, yes, I'm going to make fun of those people. Get out of lockstep with politicians. Start thinking critically about things rather than just agreeing with whatever "your guys" are agreeing with.

9. James Comey is shady as hell (https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailywire.com/news/22353/fbi-confirms-comey-drafted-letter-clinton-ryan-saavedra%3famp). He was also a highly controversial figure to be running the FBI. But like I said, Trump does dumb shit and I think he jumped the gun in firing Comey. I don't think Trump wanted him to stop the investigation because he has something to hide. He's not that smart. I think he's offended almost as easily as SJW's - almost - and the dumbass thought the investigation was an attack on his character or some crap like that.

10. In the 1970's, climate alarmists were screeching about 'global cooling.' (https://www.scribd.com/doc/225798861/Newsweek-s-Global-Cooling-Article-From-April-28-1975) One common talking point for modern climate alarmists is that 97% of scientists believe climate change is man made and an urgent threat. That is patently false. (https://www.wsj.com/articles/joseph-bast-and-roy-spencer-the-myth-of-the-climate-change-97-1401145980?tesla=y) Some global warming alarmists were not able to get the results they wanted, so they tampered with the data. (https://m.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/dec/3/researcher-says-nasa-hiding-climate-data/ , https://bandlerblog.wordpress.com/2013/02/18/read-this-and-weep-al-gore/ , https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamestaylor/2011/11/23/climategate-2-0-new-e-mails-rock-the-global-warming-debate/#283a7ba2988d) And finally, the climate just simply hasn't been rising at a very alarming rate (http://www.climatedepot.com/2015/08/06/a-new-record-pause-length-no-global-warming-for-18-years-7-months-temperature-standstill-extends-to-233-months/) Why do leftists have to bring climate change into literally everything?

11. "Well documented by real news sources." Real news sources that are all left-leaning, some of them even wholeheartedly liberal or leftist, but refuse to admit they have any sort of bias which is bullshit because everybody is politically biased. I'm honest enough to admit I have a conservative bias. You obviously have a liberal bias. There's no such thing as a human being who is invested in politics on any level being able to maintain an objective stance. Nobody is objective. Mainstream media sources are subjective and always have been.

12. Okay, so the things Trump has done that I think are actually good: ISIS's territorial holdings are practically nonexistent, the stock market is soaring and has been breaking record highs all year, unemployment statistics have significantly lowered, he decertified the Iran deal, he acknowledged Jerusalem as Israel's capital (which was always true but now it's being acknowledged), he repealed the individual mandate which has by and large been the most hated aspect of Obamacare, and I would consider the tax bill that just passed to be a win since it's the first step in achieving a full tax reform.

13. Trump has done significantly more bad things than good (for the fourth and final time, I don't support him). But to say he's pure evil and has done no good for this country at all is a blatant lie. Every president does both good and bad things and to pretend that's not the case is nonsensical. In this case the bad outweighs the good. That does not mean the good should all be ignored. Again, I rally for ideas, policies, and individual acts. I don't rally for specific people, because to rally for a person is to rally for the bad as well as the good and I refuse to fall into such a cultish thought process. It's called thinking for yourself. You should try it, it's very freeing.

14. A large number of conservatives don't actually fail to understand freedom of speech, you just happen to be full of fresh, steaming horse shit.

It's just now occurring to me that it was probably a waste of time to link to all those sources when the OP and the OP's cult-y lockstep followers likely won't bother clicking on a single link. But in any case, thank you and goodnight.

[jasper-rolls]

i talked about this a bit on twitter but i wanna elucidate on it here so here’s another fucking post about the fucking dream daddy shit because i cant stop myself from being annoyed by the back and forth and misrepresentation and vague posts trying to act like they’re just talking in general when its very obviously about this

strap in cause this is gonna be a long one

there are three points i want to make

1) criticism of media is important and needed, particularly in the realm of discussing representation and creator intent, since its overall purpose is to further discussion and foster overall improvement in future. criticism of a work isn’t always an attack on the people who like it

i mean, we’ve all been there. it sucks to read when someone’s talking down something you like a lot, especially if its something that’s very meaningful to you. it happens to me too - i can’t count the number of times i’ve read an article or essay ripping apart something i love and found it very difficult to disengage my personal feelings from it.

but unless the person making the criticism is specifically going out of their way to say “and all the people who LIKE this thing are fucking gibbering idiots who wouldn’t know good quality if it punched them in the face”, then the criticism isn’t an attack on you personally, and you have to find the place to disengage that emotional attachment and at least tolerate the criticism of the work. you may accept and agree with it or not, but understand that the critic is (probably) not directly attacking you

and raising potential problems on the representation side of the work is important, because it highlights potential problems for people interested in it that they might not have been aware of before, like creator’s personal views influencing development of the work, or unfortunate implications of plot beats within the work

there’s definitely legitimate cause for concern in game grumps involvement with dream daddy. in my personal experience, the grumps aren’t particularly forward thinking in a lot of respects - arin and danny are quick to lapse into bottom of the barrel racist accent humor (particularly with asian characters), or “hey, isn’t being gay kind of weird” straight guy nonsense. the understanding they’ve showcased of lgbt concepts and issues leaves a lot to be desired (last i remember, arin still considered “cisgender” to be a slur despite being told what it actually means)

and every time this is brought up, i see fans saying “oh but they’re better now, they’ve learned!” and i have to say, i still watch them fairly regularly and...they really haven’t! the “progress” is minimal at best, its like watching someone push a boulder up a hill. they haven’t really changed all that much in the last few years to be frank. so the concern with them being involved with, and putting their name on, a game where the focus is on mlm (and has transgender characters) has definite grounding, given how they’ve acted before.

and the cult ending naturally has unfortunate implications - the idea that every character in the game is being tricked into being forever single, their misery being used to fuel some sort of demon...i mean, given how gay people have been treated throughout history and in media, at the very least it’s pretty regressive. you can’t fault someone for reading the transcript and feeling a little sick

the raising and highlighting of these things isn’t a personal attack. it’s overall, to help people make an informed decision, and be aware of the things that aren’t so great - that might be a dealbreaker, on a personal level. criticism is valuable, and useful, and we should recognize it as such

-----------------------------

2) on the opposite hand, EVERYTHING we read, watch, or play is guaranteed to have a problematic element of some sort, and nothing you ever enjoy is perfect. expecting something to conform to a 100% ideologically pure standard is unreasonable and ultimately a fool’s game

my personal favourite game of all time, ever, is killer7. it’s the game that bought suda51 to prominence in the west. it’s a weird blend of first-person shooter, rail shooter, and rpg. the story is outright bizarre, with disorienting visuals and surreal events like a lucha wrestler headbutting a bullet out of midair, a ghostly man wrapped in bdsm gear popping up to give you advice, and giggling zombies that explode on contact

its also got quite a share of shitty moments - a rape scene, the female characters leave a lot to be desired, its got a frankly weird interpretation of a lot of psychological disorders, and a good chunk of the game is dedicated to character development of a pedophile

suffice to say it probably wouldn’t be a big hit with a lot of people here. but does this stuff mean its completely reprehensible, and not worth spending any time with? i did just tell you it’s my favourite game so you can probably guess how i’m going to respond to that rhetorical question. this post is long enough without me spending several more paragraphs explaining to you why i think killer7 is worth giving a shot, so i’m going to skip to the point that this example is illustrating - the things we love, our favourite things, are probably just as, or maybe even more problematic than the things we don’t.

i’m not going to cite any further examples since i don’t know what you, the reader, personally enjoys or loves, but like...i guarantee you, its probably done something pretty shitty with its running time. i’m fairly confident i’ve never read or enjoyed something that didn’t at some point play into some shitty trope about lgbt people, or people of colour, or women - and if didn’t somehow, chances are it’s because it never showed them in the first place, because its focus is on straight, white, cis men, which is, naturally a problem of its own

if you’re willing to shrug off shitty opinions of creators of things you love, or bad tropes and plot elements in things you love, then why is it so different for the things you dislike? to write off dream daddy entirely, because of the involvement of game grumps, and the existence of one bad ending with shitty implications, and ignoring its more positive elements while praising the things you love that have more than likely done shitty stuff too is...frankly ridiculous

it perhaps may not seem like much to you, but dream daddy getting the kind of coverage and attention it has is...kind of a big deal as far as i’m concerned! games with narrative tend to be pretty hostile towards gay men*, so for a game that presents an overall sincere and positive representation of gay men to see this much attention and get to no. 1 seller on steam a significant step forward, i think. it’s not revolutionary, but personally, as a gay man, it means a lot to me, and i know a few other gay men who would feel the same, and that surely counts for something

and as far as killer7 goes, well...waypoint explains it better than i could, but i would just like to say: that pedophile character i mentioned? that part of the game ends with you beating him in a duel so hard, he falls over and gets eviscerated by a machine designed to cut out organs. so it’s not all bad.

-----------------------------

3) (this is the big one) this site has a big fucking problem with virtue signalling 

perhaps its bad of me to assume something of people, but i’m going to go out on a limb and say at least one person immediately closed the tab the moment they read that line, and i wouldn’t blame them, because the problem with saying something like “virtue signalling” is that the alt-right and gamergaters have tried their absolute hardest to make that phrase essentially mean nothing by throwing it at anyone who shares a dissenting opinion of any kind. but despite their efforts, virtue signalling is a phrase that does actually have a meaning, and its the meaning i’m using here

i’m going to take a quick excerpt from hbomberguy’s video on the subject (it’s worth watching, it’s only 10 minutes long and pretty funny)  - “The term was originally coined[...]to decry people who say, ‘I don’t like this thing very much’, in order to feel good about themselves, and then just, vote Labour every few years or whatever and take no stake in actually making things better.”

tumblr (or at least, the part of tumblr i engage with) does this, a LOT. it’s in the smug, one line “uhhhh, yikes, lmao 💅” rebuttals to arguments against the thesis of a given post. it’s in the strawman cartoons and chat posts that cast opponents of the OP as self-contradicting fools. it’s in the “so jot that down” responses, the “i’m side-eyeing everyone who isn’t reblogging this”, etc. etc. everyone has done this. you have probably engaged with this. i definitely have - at least one of my popular posts, if not more is, basically me, doing this thing! to be fair i had no intention those posts being popular, but then one never does, do they?

in the case of dream daddy, it’s “me: y’all:” image edits snarkily demonstrating how they’re SWERVING “that dad dating shit”, chat posts casting defenders points as “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST NEVER CRITICIZE ANYTHING EVER”, posts smugly announcing they’re going to pirate the game just to take money from arin hanson, as if that’s how game development works, and i think it’s what’s led to a huge amount of misrepresentation about this game in particular

i’ve seen people acting like the game grumps are like, directing and writing the game, when, as far as i’m aware, all they did was provide funding and voice acting. and the big thing that really got my goat, was someone describing the cult ending, and listing the implications i’ve already gone over myself, and then saying that this was the game’s true ending

this...literally could not be further from the truth. for starters, no-one has actually gotten this ending from playing through the game naturally. the reason? because you CAN’T. it was found through data-mining - it isn’t accessible through regular play. it’s either content that was cut from the game late in development, or, as the theory goes, intended to be a non-canonical or fake ending added in as halloween DLC come october (given the tone of the whole thing it sounds reasonable to me) which has, unfortunately, now been ruined due to this whole debacle

to do this kind of thing, to describe this as “the true ending” borders on being an out and out lie for the purpose of making dream daddy look way, way worse than it actually is. there’s no justice here, there’s no attempt to inform accurately. it’s “hey, check out how shitty this thing is! i’m good for disliking it, aren’t i? ignore the context, or the fact that i’m literally lying about what this is”

look, okay, i’m getting a little vitriolic - people can make mistakes, misunderstand things, it happens. everyone does it. me too. but this posing, this “look how good and cool i am, for not liking this thing”, it helps nothing at best and actively harms at worse. misrepresenting positions, context, and events for the purpose of satisfying the ego of whoever is making the statement - it helps no-one, except that person, in the most minor and meaningless of ways

i want to be clear - this final bit is just as much a memo for myself as it is for everyone reading this

be critical. don’t take things at face value. read into issues, understand context. get as close to the source of the issue at hand as you can, and determine the truth from there. resist the urge to be smug, detached, and dismiss those who disagree with your position - resist the urge to laugh at them, they may just not know. try and engage them in honest debate. if they resist that, if they don’t want to meet you on an equal footing you are within your rights to disengage.

be strong. support the things you love, and remember where the line is

we can all be better

*i’m not saying that other groups aren’t treated with hostility in games and gaming - trans women certainly get it really, really bad. just personally saying, in my experience as a gay man, the gaming community, and subsequently games with a focus on narrative themselves, have a sort of...special hatred of mlm. not necessarily worse, just...uniquely hostile

[sasusakufestival]

The 'Other' Talk

Summary: “How are you not upset about this?!” / “I’m upset, I just happen to be a little more informed and open-minded on the subject than someone whose traditional values harken back to the Dark Ages!” In which Sakura and Sasuke disagree about an unexpected development. [SasuSaku Festival 2017 – Day 14 – Prompt: “Domestic Disagreement”]

Disclaimer: This story utilizes characters, situations and premises that are copyright Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Shonen Jump and Viz Media. No infringement on their respective copyrights pertaining to episodes, novelizations, comics or short stories is intended by the author in any way, shape or form. This fan oriented story is written solely for the author’s own amusement and the entertainment of the readers. It is not for profit. Any resemblance to real organizations, institutions, products or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All fiction, plot and Original Characters with the exception of those introduced in the books, manga, video games, novelizations and anime, are the sole creation of KuriQuinn and using them without permission is considered rude, in bad-taste and will reflect seriously on your credibility as a writer. You will be smothered with a mattress if you are found plagriarising.

Warning: Another dialogue only fic. Because I’m tired.

Canon/Fanon Compliance: Could conceivably take place in any of my ‘verses. Feel free to interpret as you wish.

____________________

“Enough.”

“…”

“Sasuke, that’s enough.”

“…”

“No, don’t get up and walk away – sit.”

“…”

“Sasuke…they love each other. This is what people do when they love each other.”

“How?”

“‘How’? Do you really need me to paint you a diagram? I thought the whole in flagrante delicto was enough – ”

“No! Not how that! How could she do this to me?”

“She didn’t do this to you. Or me. In fact – and I sincerely hope – she probably wasn’t even thinking about either of us.”

“You are not helping.

“Would you like me to freak out? Sit in the dark like some overgrown bat, glaring at her door from the living room? Because if it will help, I can do that.”

“Sakura, for fuck’s sake, she is sixteen. She should not be…she shouldn’t even be thinking about…how is this an issue that we’re dealing with right now?”

“I would say ‘dealing with’ is putting it strongly.”

“Why are you not upset by this?”

“Did I ever say I wasn’t upset? Because trust me, I’m upset. I honestly didn’t think sex was going to be an issue for another year or two.”

“Another…another year?”

“Or two.”

“So you were expecting…?”

“Darling, not every teenager is going to wait for marriage like you and I did. And honestly, that was only because you wanted to wait. If circumstances had been different, I probably would have jumped you the minute you got back to Konoha.”

“That’s…it’s completely different.”

“It really isn’t.”

“She was raised to know better. Falling on her back for the first boy she –”

“You had better be really careful how you finish that sentence, Sasuke.”

“I should be careful? If I see the little bastard again –”

“You will be completely courteous to him.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Yes, you will. She chose him, she loves him, you will respect her choice.”

“She’s my daughter!”

“And it’s her body! She gets to make decisions about it and who she shares it with!”

“How are you not upset about this?!”

“I’m upset, I just happen to be a little more informed and open-minded on the subject than someone whose traditional values harken back to the Dark Ages!”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means we’re not about to lock our daughter up in a tower somewhere until someone trades us two goats in order to marry her! It means we’re not going to check her bedsheets for stains or sneak through her cupboards to count condoms or check her phone to see if she’s sexting! It means we respect her privacy because she is almost an adult, because if we ever want her to come to us when there actually is a problem, we can’t alienate her over something that isn’t actually an issue.”

“But this is an issue!”

“No. It’s. Not.”

“Then I’d hate to see your definition of an issue.”

“Oh, I don’t know, a drug problem? Gambling debts? Accidentally killing someone? Those are problems. Sex is not a problem.”

“It is when it’s your teenaged daughter down on her knees and –”

“I do not need a reminder! Shannaro!”

“And here I thought you were all for it.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth! I didn’t say I was happy about this whole thing, I’m just trying to point out that there’s nothing wrong with having sex!”

“I never said there was!”

“Yes, as long as it’s married sex. Because clearly sex when it’s attached to a piece of paper makes it official sex, and that’s obviously so much more meaningful.”

“Your sarcasm isn’t amusing.”

“It’s not meant to be.”

“And are you saying waiting for marriage wasn’t meaningful for you?”

“What? No! Of course not! You know it was!”

“Then I don’t see why waiting can’t be an option for her.”

“Because everyone is different, Sasuke! You and I…you know we didn’t have a normal relationship. And when we finally did get married, when we were together for the first time…It was like coming home after the longest, most brutal journey ever. And it was beautiful and amazing and…and right. But that was our story. It worked for us, but I…I don’t…”

“You don’t want that for her.”

“Not until she’s old enough – not until she’s strong enough.”

“…”

“I don’t want her nursing a broken heart for ten years on the off chance she’ll be with her soulmate at the end of it. I want her to live. I want her to fall in love – I want her to fall out of love – I want her to do exactly what makes her happy – within reason. She still has to be smart and responsible, but Sasuke, she should at least have that chance. Because the minute she does find the person she is going to spend the rest of her life with? She’ll be closing herself off to so many other experiences.”

“…like you did.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“It was implied.”

“There you go, putting words in my mouth again. Are you just trying to pick a fight now?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, we’re already fighting.”

“Because you’re being so pig-headed!”

“At least I’m thinking about things from a responsible standpoint and not as someone trying to live vicariously through my teenaged daughter.”

“That is not what’s happening here – are you even listening?!”

“Yes, I’m listening!”

“Then what exactly are you still so angry about?!”

“I don’t know!”

“…”

“…”

“Well, I do.”

“…”

“She’s you’re little girl. Our little girl. You’ve got this image in your head of her eight years old, with scraped knees and missing teeth, and you don’t want to think of her in any way but that. This whole thing…it’s a new side of her, it’s a part of her life we can’t really be there for except as advisors. And if she ends up getting her heart broken…”

“I’ll kill him.”

“…we have to let that happen to. We have to let her live her life, Sasuke. We have to trust her.”

“…”

“And I do trust her. She’s known where babies come from since she was toddling around here herself. I’ve given her the STD speech practically every time she heads out of the house. She knows how to stand up for herself, and honestly, I pity whatever guy ever tries to push her into doing something she doesn’t want to. And right now, that’s all we can do, because even if we forbade her from seeing him, from having sex –”

“They’d do it anyway.”

“Exactly.”

“…”

“If it makes you feel better, I’m not to happy they were in our bedroom. We might have to burn that bed and get a new one.”

“Hm.”

“And we’re definitely going to have a discussion about appropriate places to fornicate.”

“…Please don’t use that word in connection with our daughter.”

“Heh. Alright.”

“…We should probably invite him.”

“He has a name, you know.”

“Not one he deserves to be called right now.”

“Fair enough.”

“I’m still not alright with this.”

“I know.”

“And if something goes wrong, I won’t hesitate to tell you “I told you so”.”

“If it ever comes to that, you get one.”

“Fine.”

“…”

“…”

“Do you think Naruto knows?”

“Not yet.”

“Do you want me to call him or should I?”

“I’ll go see him.”

“There is far, far too much sadistic glee in your voice right now.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

__________________

終わり

I hope you enjoyed the story! As part of the SasuSakuFestival, please go to the ssfest page and vote, like and/or reblog, it would be majorly appreciated!

クリ

[atopfourthwall]

State of the Wall: 1-25-17

You know the drill! Check behind the cut to see updates on various series, a list of upcoming episodes, and more!

Schedule of Upcoming Episodes 1/30 – The Star Wars #4 2/6 – PATREON: Spectacular Spider-Man episode 1×10 – “Persona” 2/13 – Youngblood #9 2/20 – The A-Team #2 2/27 – PATREON: The Batman/Superman Movie: World’s Finest 3/6 – See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 1 3/13 – See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 2 3/20 – Reagan’s Raiders #1 3/27 – PATREON: Fist of the North Star, ch. 1

As always, the schedule is subject to change due to unforeseen circumstances, a lack of material to work with in the review, or any other factors that might come up.

Storyline Like last time, I do apologize about how slow-moving the storyline is going. Rest assured, it’s going to end this year before October, since I already have plans for the Halloween storyline this year that REQUIRES “The Sleepwalker” to be done with. Hopefully I can finish it even before the summer, but I make no promises.

T-Shirts In case you missed the announcement, I’m finally on SharkRobot.com with T-Shirts! Well, right now, it’s just T-shirt singular, since there is one new T-shirt available: a long-awaited I AM A MAN! Shirt!

If you’re wondering why I haven’t uploaded all my previous shirts to the site yet, well there’s a simple reason for that: I can’t… exactly. The thing is that part of Shark Robot’s system is that the more different colors there are for their shirts, the more expensive it is to print them. And let’s face it, a lot of my old shirts were very colorful. Now that’s not NECESSARILY a deal-breaker. What is, however, is the fact that Shark Robot also only keeps certain shirts permanently. In this case, it requires around 19 pre-orders before they allow a shirt to stay up permanently. And since I know all of you have limited income, that means I have to be very picky about what shirts I put up for sale.

As such, expect a new shirt except every few months (maybe 2-3 per year) will be made available. This shirt will be selected by Patreon contributors from a selection of 5 or so choices I’ll present (the shirt designs that don’t make it will likely carry over for each vote), then make that one shirt available for pre-order and (hopefully) it’ll become permanent. This should hopefully keep your wallets from getting overburdened too much and some shirt designs not getting a chance to become part of your wardrobe.

One of the great things about Shark Robot as opposed to previous t-shirt services I’ve used is that buying wholesale shirts from them is A LOT cheaper. It’s what’s kept me from bringing t-shirts to conventions for sale. However, with Shark Robot I can now bring t-shirts to conventions! However, this does raise up a question and I’ll need help from you guys with. See, yes, I can bring shirts… but you all come in various sizes and I have limited space to bring stuff with me, meaning I have to prioritize certain sizes over others. If I were to bring shirts to a convention, what size would you want that would encourage you to buy them? They would likely still be the $20 they’re listed for online.

History of Power Rangers Well, I’m proud to announce since they actually DO have release dates now for the rest of Super DinoCharge (and they’re relatively close by), that I can announce a release date for the History of Power Rangers episode for it! DinoCharge: April 27th Ninja Steel: N/A

As always, this date is subject to change depending on how busy I am with other projects… aaaand other projects are going to start really ramping up as we head into the summer. The revised versions of videos are of course continuing, and in case you haven’t seen, I released two videos for a revised version of Zeo! You can find those videos HERE and HERE! Expect a revised version of Turbo before the end of February. In Space… will be trickier, as you can see in a vlog I’ve put up on my youtube channel answering questions for newcomers to History of Power Rangers.

As a reminder, I do plan on seeing the upcoming reboot movie that’s coming out in March, but it will likely only result in a vlog unless I’m either inspired enough to review it (unlikely) or if a Patreon requests a review (provided it’s still past the one-year cutoff date).

Let’s Play Pokémon Omicron The next stream date for Pokémon Omicron is March 13th at 7 PM Central time! The stream link, as always, is Available HERE. The last stream was sadly cut short due to me being extremely tired. Hoping that won’t be the same here. As I’ve said before, I’m hoping to wrap up Pokémon Omicron this year (at the very least finishing the game in streams this year). I know there’s Post-game content, but the current plan is to end it after the Elite 4 are defeated.

As I’ve said in PO Unboxing videos, I want to start doing more gaming content for the channel, but I don’t want an unfinished Let’s Play hanging over my head with it, hence why I’m rushing to get more Omicron out. I’m sorry it still seems like I’m only releasing one or two per week, but fortunately the process has gotten a lot faster. And more fun, frankly, since I decided to have other people along for the ride. On that same note, thanks to everyone who has been sending in gaming material for future Let’s Plays! Hopefully we’ll have a chance to really sink our teeth into it sooner rather than later.

PO Unboxing Here is your regular reminders that PO Unboxing has no set schedule and to please think carefully about what you send – is it something I’ve already received? Is it something I’ve already reviewed? Has Linkara been saying in these videos for a while “Oh God, please slow down on sending stuff we still haven’t organized it?” Fortunately, I don’t think we’re at the point of CLOSING the PO Box (which, in case you didn’t know, the address for the box can be found on the Contact page via the top header), but it’s certainly getting close. January has thankfully slowed down the amount of stuff sent our way and I hope that continues for a while.

The Next DVD While the Movie and Compilation Disc from last year were awesome (and I thank you all for your continued support of them), I want to try to keep introducing a new DVD at least once per year with fresh content, and sadly we have been severely lacking for a proper NEW DVD of episodes for quite a while. As a reminder, old storyline segments cannot go on the DVDs due to using copyrighted music and not having the original files anymore for them, so the DVDs will ALWAYS contain new, never-before-seen content.

Speaking of, the current plan is to hopefully include the long-awaited Nostalgia Critic review of the AT4W Movie. That had been planned for the Movie’s DVD, but had to be scrapped due to Doug’s own busy schedule. Stuff can still happen, but it’s currently on the table for it. Otherwise, the plan is to have this one emulate the volume 2 DVD: -Two new Atop the Fourth Wall episodes -Three Longboxes -Two Riffs

That will of course change depending on how much space is available on the DVD. I do not currently know at this time whether it will be sold through Screenwave as had happened with the movie and Compilation Disc, since while it’s great to have them available on Amazon, it’s a bit harder for me to have a constant stock of the DVDs in for conventions. More info will become available as it is available.

I’m also announcing the name of the DVD – Vol. 3: Character Reboot, wherein the reviews and riffs will focus on books featuring a character with the same name as more familiar heroes, but obviously very different (and very public domain).

Patreon I’m still taking suggestions for things to help with the Patreon, but thankfully I HAVE found something that might work to increase it’s numbers: namely, Patreon-exclusive polls and information. Yes, it seems there was a serge in patrons after I announced the poll for Event Comics Month, which will be occurring in May. That’s why the next T-shirt vote will be on Patreon for patrons only. We’ll definitely be trying this more often, especially in April when I announce the first viewers’ choice – where I’ll present three comics I could be reviewing and let you guys vote on what you’d like it to be. For now, thanks for the support you’ve given and I’m hoping you will continue to support the show in the future!

Conventions Animinneapolis – Once again, for any of you Minnesota locals who want to meet me, I’ll be at Animinneapolis at the Hyatt Regency Minneapolis in, well, Minneapolis on May 26-28!

Anime Midwest – I’ll of course be at Anime Midwest again at the Hyatt Regency O’Hare in Rosemont, Illinois on July 7-9!

Expect a few more old favorites to pop up as we get closer to them, like ConBravo or Too Many Games, but at this time no formal invitation has been sent out, so I make no announcement, either. I’ll of course update the list if anything else comes up between now and the next State of the Wall.

That’s it for now! Questions? Comments? Responses to my own queries? Let me know in the comments (or replies/reblogs/etc. on Tumblr)!

[thatawkwardnerdytomboy]

Happy Broke Millennial New Year!

So I keep seeing my Facebook friends posting subjective statuses as if they’re objective about 2017 as if the things they’re posting about apply to everyone and I know that they don’t but still...I don’t think they understand that not everyone had the same year they did. 2017 might have been fantastic for some people but for others, it wasn’t. So, my 2017 was pretty terrible. How? Why?

1. Donald Trump’s Inauguration! Yet another reminder of how shitty this country can be. Congrats, America! You voted for a rapist who believes that Climate Change is a Chinese hoax, who wants to go to war with North Korea, is racist, hates Muslims, wants to make the poor poorer, the rich richer and wants to outsource more jobs to other countries than any other president and wants to build a wall that Mexicans can just fly over on a plane. Congratu-fucking-lations...

2. I lost 2 jobs! Funding for the arts has been getting cut so much because Republicans hold the majority of the house and senate that arts programs like the ones I work for don’t have enough funds to pay their employees. So, one of my jobs on 4 occasions since 2017 started couldn’t pay us on time. And I drained my savings account and nearly maxed out my credit cards trying to get to work and feed myself while I was working for this organization and I decided that it wasn’t worth it to go into so much debt anymore and I had to quit. The other arts organization I was working for laid me off without even telling me. So luckily, and I use that word lightly, I got a job at the community service program I was in while in high school which leads to my next one...

3. Got a new job and I hate it! Working over the summer at this place was a fucking nightmare. It was my first summer camp job. There was so much shit to do and know. I was managing a group of 6th graders and the guy I was working with was an insubordinate asshole who gave me an attitude whenever I asked him to do anything. He kept breaking rules, he would leave me to do all the planning for each day when we were supposed to be planning things together, he did inappropriate things with the kids and whenever I pulled him aside to talk to him about these things in private, he started raising his voice at me like he doesn’t know how to have a private conversation. I talked to my boss about him multiple times and she didn’t do much. He didn’t change. Oh, and he ever yelled at her once too. I was so stressed at this job that I had a panic attack after work and had to be taken to the hospital. And when I texted this guy to tell him that I wasn’t going to be in that day and told him where to find everything we needed for a field trip, he yet again gave me an attitude. What fucking human being hears from their co-worker that they had to go to the hospital for a panic attack and responds with “oh, that’s your job?” I was so fucking livid. And eventually, when one of the kids’ parents called to complain about him touching her daughter inappropriately, he quit. Wow, child molester in the making...fucking creep. So I still work at this place but with less hours because it’s just an after-school program now. The kids that I work with are the worst group of kids I have ever had to work with in my 7 years of working with kids. They make racist and homophobic comments all the time (try hearing these things when you’re black and gay), they start physical altercations with each other, they’re blatantly disrespectful to staff, one girl even called my co-worker/friend a racial slur. There’s not enough time in the day to get our work done and me and one of the other staff are always having to stay late to get things done and we don’t get paid for the extra hours that we stay. I really want to quit this job and I don’t wanna work with kids anymore. It’s grating on my mental health. If I can’t get a job in my field (animation, comics or other commercial arts) then I rather just work in an office somewhere as a data clerk because I spent 3 years in college doing that as a work-study job. But apparently, I’m not qualified to do that either. No one wants me to do anything other than working with kids. 

4. I’ve gone into more debt this year! Yay! $600 from going to the hospital for a panic attack, about $450 from credit card debt from my jobs not paying me on time and whatever interest I have accrued from my deferred student loans plus the $50K in loans that I owe. I’m trying to save up to move out because my living situation has become more crowded. I live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my girlfriend, mom, her boyfriend and my brother. My brother sleeps in the living room which is attached to the kitchen which means that when he goes to sleep, we can’t go out into the kitchen to get food or throw trash out and it’s really fucking annoying. Also, I have to share a bathroom with 4 other people and I have a disease (hypothyroidism) that causes gastro-intestinal issues and I’m also a girl so that means that often I can’t get into the bathroom when I really need to. My girlfriend and I applied for a low-income housing lottery and I really hope that we get called. I’m scraping by with what I make at my job and I have to help my mom with rent and bills and it’s just really difficult trying to pay any debt off and save money. Like wow, I live in a country where poor/low-income college grads may have to go on welfare to survive and can’t get a break with student loans and the fucking president wants to help out the rich people and screw the poor over more. Oh, and fuck Betsy Devos for wanting to make life harder for people like me. 

5. I lost one of my closest friends. I had a friend in college who I was very close to. She was always there for me when I needed her, she helped me with my assignments, we hung out with each other outside of school and we always confided in each other. I got to meet her family and even after graduation and she had to move back to Florida, we still kept in contact. She was supposed to come back to NYC with her mom but she was having some family issues and had to stay. I haven’t heard from her since 2016 in November. I’ve been trying to contact her ever since. I called, texted, e-mailed, I’ve messaged her brothers on Facebook with no response, I contacted her friend and asked if she’s heard from her and she hasn’t...I’m pretty worried. For all I know she could be dead or her family could have been deported since Trump has ramped up ICE’s tyranny. I miss the hell out of her. I just really want to hear her voice. If I had the money, I’d go to Florida and try to look her up. I was thinking of sending a letter to her address to see if anyone replies to it. 

Despite how terrible this year has been for me, here are are a couple of positive things that have come out of it. 

1. I made 3 years with my girlfriend and we’ve been talking about getting married in the future. Which means that when we have the money and our own place, we’ll most likely get engaged which I’m really excited for. We’ve been through a lot together, good and bad and we’ve always remained by each other. I feel like she’s the girl of my dreams; she’s everything that I want in a girl. She’s sweet, nerdy, affectionate, sensitive, open-minded, we have so much in common and we want the same things out of our relationship. We both want to move to California someday, travel, adopt kids, have pets and have the lives that we’ve always wanted for ourselves growing up. I hope that our relationship remains as great as it is now. 

2. I may, someday soon, actually get to live out my dream of being a filmmaker! When I was in high school, I was taking a comic book illustration class with Ivan Velez Jr. a former writer for Marvel and DC comics and ever since, we’ve remained in contact. A few months ago, he contacted me and some of his other former students and said that he wants to work on a film project with us and that he has connections with Netflix! I’m not going to get my hopes up because this is a really big chance and a lot of things can change or possibly go wrong but so far, it seems like things are going well. I can’t talk about what we’ve been planning but he has to speak to his Netflix connect and see if we can get funding for this project before anything else happens. But yeah, I’m super excited! He says that we might be able to start filming as soon as later this year if we get the funding. I already worked on a script for the short film I want to make and I have other things planned for this story as well. It’s funny, I was just ranting about how disappointed I am with some films I’ve been seeing and not too much later, he contacts me. So I’m hoping it works out!

So I hope that all my fellow struggling millennials and non-millennials have had a better 2017 than me and that your 2018 comes with more hopes and positive life changes. Hope everyone can take better care of themselves and keep fighting though things are really difficult and seem hopeless. 

Happy New Year!

Please reblog if you’ve had a tough year and let me know about it so we and all the other struggling millennials out there know that we’re not alone! 

[angry--tiresia]

Why I’m fucked up [part 1]

REBLOG WITH YOUR OWN ‘WHY I’M FUCKED UP’

YES THIS IS ME OVERSHARING

There’ll be 3 parts I think;

1) I always feel stupid

2) I always feel ugly

3) I always feel unwanted

So;

1) Me feeling stupid. In primary school I was bullied, nothing big, a beating here and there but mostly just threats and repeated public humiliation. This made me hate everything to do with school and I don’t think I ever studied for a single test, however it was a rich afrikaans school, and this is an incredibly important point, being in a good school makes it hard to do badly. So even though I did terribly in comparison to my classmates, compared to most people from worse schools I did great. That obviously didn’t matter and I was constantly laughed at for my marks. 

Then I decided to change environment to an artschool, started acting classes a week before the audition, and I got in. This school used to accept 10% of applicants based on their audition and every other person in my class had been acting for years and had usually starred in at least one piece of commercial media - I was totally out of my depth and had a lot to catch up, and was again, continually humiliated for my inability to just know what to do. But by the end of the four years I kind of knew what I was doing and it was acknowledged, but by then I’d had years of insecurity buidling up. 

Now this school was amazing for the arts, heck even Charlize Theron went there, but in every other aspect it was truly horrible, with teachers blatantly lying to students. For maths, I could count the number of problems we did in a year on one hand. I was best friends with someone who worked 8 hours every day, so they did well, but from primary school - [and an initial month or so in the begining of high school where no teacher would translate single words in test questions/content because I was learning the language] - I knew that I was too stupid to ever reach that point. So they too humiliated me nearly every day, sometimes with a bit of a crowd, for how stupid I was. In grades 10 and 11 my maths teacher called me in at least once a week to tell me that I really don’t have enough intelligence for pure mathematics, and I should rather do mathematical literacy.

But I wanted to become immortal, to get to a point where I was better than I am now, and to do that I’d have to do biology, at a good uni, so I needed maths, and in matric my dad finally convinced me to do some work and I ended up getting the second best marks in my class, with my best friend [whom I was obviously inferior to] got the best marks of anyone in years. 

So I got into a good uni for science. But I wanted to prove to everyone for once and for all that I wasn’t an idiot, so though I did biology I also did pure physics and pure maths. And here’s a part to understand, for the past five years I’d been taught crap for maths. And doing maths trains your brain to do maths, it trains you to think in a certain way, and not only was I in class with people that had come from schools that had reputations and were significantly better than mine. And not only that, but the vast, vast majority of them had taken subjects in high school that I had never heard of, ones that had covered essentially the entire first year of mathematics. Throughout this year I was repeatedly laughed at and called an idiot. And even my closest friends would make jokes, for years afterwards, about my stupidity, the only comfort for 3 years being from my best friend [and fp for those that understand bpd] ; “It’s not your fault you made friends with clever people”. 

In second year I decided to do physics instead of biology, but at that point the people in my class had again, done applied mathematics in first year, something that was not required but was assumed knowledge for physics, and again, I cannot emphasis enough, it trains their brains to solve that kind of problem, and be more malleable to learn solve those kinds of problems. Objectively at this point I was years and years behind everyone else. It was during this time that my best friend again made a joke that for some reason goes in the book of things that people have said that completely change the way I see the world, myself and the way I act - it was that moment that I was finally convinced that, yes, after almost 14 years of being told I was stupid on a near daily basis, that I was in fact stupid. Even before this, the opinions of people outside my field didn’t matter to me because all my degree was was a mask to hide my stupidity, and I knew fully that any of them could do everything a million times better. 

I have tried to fix this, but it’s impossible, I’m to this day seen to be the stupidest person in my friend group, most recently we were at a restaurant and someone made a comment of “who would be the most likely to invent teleportation” and everyone pointed at my best friend, [except said best friend who pointed at me, n’caaw]. Someone said “But [referring to me] has a degree in physics” To which the response obviously is “But [best friend] has the brain for it”. 

And my favorite thing is to hear people say “You shouldn’t care about what people think” when they’ve been showered with affirmation for years. The best I’ve gotten is my room mate saying “No, you’re not stupid”, in the same way you would tell a dog “Oh you’re a good boy” and my best friend [only in the past year and a bit] saying “I think you’re smart”. And my parents, and I can’t deny the solid base they gave me, but a solid base can only take you that far.

My second favourite thing to hear is, upon asking for help [which takes nth level courage btw] “I don’t know any better than you” when they’ve literally already made the most perfect decisions or answers for that exact question and you’re entirely lost cause you don’t have 4+ years of direct experience in that field/thing because this is the first time in your life you’re seeing it. 

And logically I can see why I feel the way I do. The moment I get good at something I drop it to throw myself into a field that I know nothing about. At the end of high school I auditioned for the new york film academy, and at the time they had no bursaries for South African kids, but they wanted me so badly they sent a million letters to a million sponsors to try get my tuition paid for, but my audition had been live and no bursary came. At the end of my physics degree I went to one of the professors that I thought wasn’t too horrible, and I pitched an idea to him about how to model the fundamental forces in a more unified manner, to which the response was ‘It sounds amazing and innovative, but I simply don’t know enough to be able to tell you anything more’, and had to send me to an expert in the field, who liked the idea enough to want to make me do a project that would lead into it for a masters project, unfortunately I couldn’t. Or my current supervisor, upon hearing my ideas on the possibilities of time travel offered to write me a recommendation letter to the most prestigious theoretical physics institute in the world.

But instead of pursuing any of that I’m throwing myself into software engineering, again, a field I know nothing about, where I will be laughed at and humiliated for not knowing.

And what’s shattering about it all is the way it changes the way I interact. Earlier this year a friend said “I’m going to see a Wagner opera - you’ve probably never heard of him” and instead of replying “No, actually I know Wagner’s work pretty intimately, I can’t agree with the directing style he pioneered, nor his style, however his concept of the ubermensch really inspired me for a while”, I said “yeah, I don’t know much. I think I might have heard his name before” Because, lets be real, they almost definitely know so much more than me. 

Or last year I was on set with friends and someone was constructing a grid and they simply wanted to know that if they had [say] 20 tiles and the grid had to be 4 tiles wide, how many layers deep the grid would be. They were 100% in arts and honestly didn’t know how to do it, and in front of a small group of people they asked me, as they knew I was a final year astrophysics - physics major. But in that moment I was too insecure to be able to lift my voice to divide 20 by 4. So I rather said “No, ask [this friend] they know better”

I’m terrified of giving my opinion because I know chances are that it’s wrong, because I’m stupid, and the person I’m telling will know better, and they will see my mistake, and they will make fun of me. AND  when I do gain the confidence to give my opinion, usually only to the people very closest to me, they will stop listening to me halfway through my sentence, and I would end it with “Oh, you’re right, no one cares”, and not a single person has ever noticed. Most notably [because I suffer from jealousy when it comes to this person] was when me and my best friend were out, but she was talking to this guy on her phone [someone I’m jealous of for the attention she gives him - I’ll get to his in the ‘unwanted’ section], and eventually she clearly felt bad for straight up ignoring me [lol this is actually seen as abuse towards people with bpd] she said that they were talking about the ethics of supporting a politician who’s personal life contradicts his policy - and, other than being totally jealous of the ability to have such a conversation - she asked for my opinion. So I gave my first point of his policy affecting more people than his personal life so I’d vote for them, to which she responded that ‘he can’t be trusted to stick to his policy if he doesn’t believe in it’. I was a full sentence into my reply when she looked down at her phone and started to message him, and it was just, once again, such a thorough “Lol your opinion doesn’t matter cause you’re stupid and who cares, but his on the other hand” As a safety check I again ended with “Oh yeah you don’t care” with no response. And this also, not from her spesifically, happens about once a week, perhaps once every two weeks, but if we’re going with this week I think we’re going on 3 already and it’s monday.

So, my final note is, why would I feel anything but stupid? On some logical level I want to say that I know I’m not stupid; but it never feels like that, and in addition to that, what evidence is there that I’m not stupid? There is literally none, and significant, 14+ years, worth of proof that I’m an idiot. 

Also sorry for grammar/spelling typos, I’m really tired. 

REBLOG WITH YOUR OWN ‘WHY I’M FUCKED UP’ 

[hqchooseyourstory]

Question Time!

It’s finally here! First round of questions! (tbh I’m probably the most excited out of everyone here). I wish to thank all of you early-bird followers for giving me a chance! Also, special shoutout to @ballisticscenarios for helping me out with a little promo and advice <3 Another big thanks to @imagine-that-haikyuu for the shoutout as well. You guys are the best!

Since there are not many followers yet, I want to give this question period some time. So, suggestions will be taken until Monday, February 6th 2017 at 10:00 P.M. UTC (Eastern time zone). Please feel free to reblog this as well if you wish. 

This series of questions follow the parts 1 to 3 of the introduction. If you haven’t read them, you might want to. Here they are (in order of appearance):

http://hqchooseyourstory.tumblr.com/post/156324235413/introduction-part-1-the-scene

http://hqchooseyourstory.tumblr.com/post/156516228893/introduction-part-2-braids

http://hqchooseyourstory.tumblr.com/post/156653140663/introduction-part-3

Also, since the link in my description doesn’t seem to want to work, link to the rules: 

http://hqchooseyourstory.tumblr.com/post/156296128413/concept-and-rules

Now that that’s said, on with the questions under the cut: 

1-Four female characters have been introduced:

Matsuhide Junko, the prideful captain of the dance troupe

Hayama Asuka, pretty, bubbly and Aya’s best friend. Also part of the dance troupe.

Yoichi Harui, the determined, respectful, though socially hesitant first-year.

Furuhata Hikari, the mother/coach of the team.

a) Which character should have a story of her own? (No need to submit for this, the four of them will be featured on the poll anyway)

b) Do you have any headcannons on different personality traits OR not mentioned physical traits for them? Since I’ve already drawn a basic outline of how the characters are, try to respect this and not go completely out of bounds. For example, suggesting Hayama Asuka has black hair does not work, because it was clearly stated her hair was blonde.

c) Who would you ship them with? I’m also open to having a scenario where the winner has to choose between two love-interests (lowkey if you would suggest that I’d be so excited about trying this out, but just one love-interest is completely fine as well)

*For the purpose of making things realistic, we are limiting the choices for this ship questions to “Any character that is based in the Miyagi prefecture”. Also, as for Coach Furuhata Hikari, I will restrict submissions to: Ukai Keishin, Ittetsu Takeda, Tsukishima Akiteru, Tanaka Saeko (let’s not be insensitive to sexualities) as well as the volleyball neighborhood association members. This is because coach Furuhata is in their age-group and is definitely not going to get romantically involved with high school students. If I’ve overlooked some people in this age-group (20-30), you can also suggest them.

**Only one of the four girls (the most popular ship voted) will get a story of her own by the end of the poll (This feels like a reality show, how great!). For fans of the city boys (a.k.a. Tokyo prefecture), please be a little more patient as another option will be offered to you shortly! Like… in the next installment, maybe?

2) What is Karasuno’s dance troupe rival school? Any headcannons for that? (It could literally be any of them, and this may or may not lead to something in the future)

2.1)This one is more of a directed question, related to question 2: What is the relationship the two dance troupes have? Something more conflictual (think Karasuno vs Aoba Johsai) or a friendly rivalry (think Nekoma and Fukurodani/Karasuno) or anything you can come up with!

3) This is more of a question to get to know what all of you followers like best. This won’t be polled, it’s a side question for my personal mental database. So if you’d like to exchange with me on the subject, feel free to do so. So, what kind of romantic general scenarios are you into?

a) This weird thing people called “the hunter/hunted form of seduction”

b)A friendship that slowly mutates into love

c)Love/hate

d)Constant flirting around but neither of them wants to make the move/are totally blind to the situation.

e)Gimme the cheese!!!! (cheesy romantic)

f)I’m a sucker for all sorts of romance (basically all of the above)

g)Think of something else! (basically none of the above, if you don’t mind, please elaborate)

[nekoannie-chan]

Undisclosed desires part I

Pairing: Brock Rumlow X Mutant HYDRA! Reader

Word count: 1094 words.

Summary: Brock and Y/N met at HYDRA Academy, what will their beginnings as double agents in S.H.I.E.L.D. look like?

Warnings: Brock and Y/N are wicked, and swearing.

A/N: Y/N is a mutant, reading minds is one of Y/N’s powers.

Flashback is in italics

This is my entry to the @romantic-barnes ‘s Clair’s Birthday Bash with the song lyric prompt:

“You trick your lovers

That you're wicked and divine

You may be a sinner

But your innocence is mine” [Undisclosed desires, Muse]

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistake please let me know and I will correct it.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics be posted in other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and is not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

My other media where I publish: Wattpad, Ao3, ffnet.

If you like it please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Part II    Part 0 -precuel-

You took a sip of your tea, after the training and tests that lasted about two years, which was a standard procedure, finally the day they were going to have their first mission in S.H.I.E.L.D. arrived; they had been told that they had to arrive a little earlier than normal.  

"Do you think we'll make it?” Brock asked you by kissing you on the head, he had just entered the kitchen.  

"Is my bad guy afraid?” You made fun of him. 

"No, but you know this is important...” 

"We learned very well at the Academy," you interrupted him.  

You and Brock met at HYDRA Academy, you started dating within a few months; both had been assigned to S.H.I.E.L.D. as double agents along with Jack and other colleagues.  

"You were the smartest of our generation," Brock said.  

"And you're the best at hand-to-hand combat, strategy, and weapon handling," you recalled.  

"We're the best team," Brock said, starting to eat his breakfast.

 The first training was completed, the superior in charge; who told them to call him Agent Miller, had made the rules very clear, however, instead of inspiring fear or respect, you two were holding back laughter throughout the training.  

"That guy's not one of us," you reported to your boyfriend in a whisper while you were in the hallway after training.  

"How do you know? He asked intrigued.  

"Do you forget that I can read minds?”  

Brock smiled sorry, you had always been able to use your powers very well to favour you, and the teachers at the Academy always saw a lot of potential in you from the first moment so you always strived to achieve your goals. It should be said that you never said anything about your powers in S.H.I.E.L.D., HYDRA had been tasked with not disclosing all the information of its agents to the other organization, they had to maintain the ‘surprise factor’.

"He is so disgusting...” 

“Y/L/N! Rumlow!” The agent called them.  

"Sir.” 

 "The hallways aren't for them to be doing cheesy," he scolded you.  

Both nodded, from the first minute the man seemed not to be very happy with the presence of the couple.  

"Sir, I'm sorry, but we were just...” 

"I'm not interested in your reasons, Rumlow, I've heard a lot about you two, here it doesn't matter that you've been the best in your classes, this is the real world and you're not special; so don't waste any more time and go to your next training or whatever you're scheduled for,' he told them.  

"Yes, sir," you replied in unison.

You started walking in the opposite direction, what you least needed was to have problems of any kind, when you were far enough away, 

Brock took your hand.  

“Bite me fuckin’ moron”, Brock murmured. 

You laughed when you heard his comment.

 "One day we'll finally have our revenge," Brock suddenly remarked as he drove.  

"Eh?”  

"For everything, Agent Miller has told us," he clarified.  

You laughed, several times they had talked about the subject, however, they knew that the mission HYDRA had was more important than anything, and you changed the song.

 “You trick your lovers

That you're wicked and divine

You may be a sinner

But your innocence is mine” 

 "That song, especially that verse describes you perfectly, babe," Brock said.  

"Are you implying that I am wicked and divine?”  

"Of course you are also a sinner... though I won't deny that I love it," he replied loudly.  

"Well, you're right, no one would think of everything I'm capable of doing.”  

"So what do you propose?” Brock questioned by resuming the previous topic.  

"I still can't think of anything, but we can justify that it was for HYDRA's sake, you have to plan it very well, it's an important agent for S.H.I.E.L.D., so chances are if it caused a stir," you explained.   

"You'll come up with something effective.”  

“You are the strategist.”

"But you are the mastermind who knows what others will do," Brock said.  

"You know what would be super sexy?” You asked. 

"What?”  

"That you were the Commander of the STRIKE team," you replied.  

"And what would you be?”  

“Second Commander or Commander of another team.” 

"I like the idea," Brock replied just before turning off the car and getting off.  

"Miller will go with us to the mission," Jack told you when he saw you coming. 

"Ughh," you said upset.

"Do you think...?"  

You knew what Brock meant, but you didn't even have a good plan or some fame in the organization yet, first they had to change that situation and then, you could think about it.  

"No, it would only bring us trouble, we must find the perfect time to make it look like a ‘collateral damage’ of the mission and no one would investigate us or have problems," you explained quickly to see that the other agents approached.

You listened carefully to the orders and plan to execute, it did not seem difficult, but rather routine; you began to follow the plan as soon as you reached the mission site, which was in a bar.

However, you didn't count on their target not being in the place I had informed them, you went against Miller's orders and started talking to one of the enemies trying to get the information you needed he wouldn't tell you, so you used your powers to read his mind.  

"The third room in the back after turning right, there it is," you informed Brock by the communicator.  

Immediately he went to the place, as soon as he found it, he informed the rest of the team, while you managed to escape the enemy. 

When you were on the ship to return to base, Miller began to scold you, although the rest of the team was trying to defend you.  

"I'm sorry, but it was the only way the mission was successful," you justified yourself.

"You could have compromised it! You're no longer at the Academy, you can't do what you want here, you must obey orders, as soon as we get to the base, I'll let the director know what happened," Miller said.  

You stopped Brock before he said anything else. 

"I'm not going to let him talk to you like that," Brock whispered.  

"I know, but we can't make things worse, I've read the minds of the other agents, they know Fury won't agree with him," you said in a barely audible way to Brock.  

The next morning you were called to Fury's office, who congratulated you on your performance on the first mission.