#can you guys believe I spend my day giving people their bills?

[blade-that-was-broken]

Clay wasn’t sure what held him back. Upon the evacuation of the Golf Course, he had taken the rear of the group and although he knew Viva had found some help to get them to some place of relative safety, he had no idea who they were. Or even where they were going. It wasn’t until everyone had gotten away from the course, hours later and the world getting darker, that he started to find out things. He helped his people get settled down for the night, creating makeshift tents and shelters for the night. Everyone was scared. Of course everyone was scared.

They had lost their home.

They had no idea where they were going, what was going to happen, how their future was going to change yet again. First the escape of the Troll Tree and now the evacuation of the Golf Course, everything and anything was uncertain.

Everyone was well settled into a well-defensible clearing. He had heard Viva let a few scouts go around the edges to make sure things were okay and keep an eye out. He eventually found Viva settling in next to a fire with a couple other trolls - both familiar and unfamiliar - huddled around on logs dragged from the forest. He took a breath and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to collect himself, letting the smell of the fire and the crackling of the flames fill his senses.

“And here we thought Johnny here was the last pop troll around,” one of their guides cackled. He had some sort of strange accent Clay couldn’t identify and he couldn’t quite make out the form of the troll from the shadows, despite the illumination of the fire.

He could see Viva rather clearly. She looked a little confused but also curious. “What do you mean?”

“Well… Johnny left home for a bit and when he came back? Everyone was destroyed,” the troll responded. Another troll draped in shadows tensed. It was all Clay could make out from him. “Some of us saw a bit of it… it was… yikes. And after what he told us about… those giants? He thought that everyone had been eaten.”

Viva looked nervous. “The tree looks that bad?”

There was a hesitation. Another troll, who hadn’t spoken yet, let out a quiet, low, “Yes.”

“It was rough there for a while,” the first troll said, continuing to speak. “For him, I mean. Spent years with the gray and you know what comes with that…”

“I do?” Viva echoed.

Grayness wasn’t exactly a very common phenomenon around Pop trolls. They were naturally optimistic and happy, easy to forgive and extremely adaptable. Not everyone knew much about grayness and it was hardly mentioned in school work. Clay knew a bit about it, with some of the sad novels he read, but even he didn’t quite understand it all. He supposed, he had never really quite tried either.

“Hopelessness,” the troll said. “It’s only in the last few years, he’s gotten some of his color back.”

If the subject of their conversation seemed to have any objection to being talked about - and his struggles - he didn’t say anything. Viva looked between the group, the other Putt Putt trolls exchanging uneasy glances. “How… long-?”

“Uh,” the second troll - Johnny, Clay thought he remembered him being called - trailed off, uncertainly. “Over ten years? Maybe thirteen?”

“That…” Viva frowned worriedly. “We escaped about 14 years ago.”

“I wasn’t gone long.”

“And you thought your family was dead this entire time?” One of the Putt Putt Trolls - Flora - looked something akin to horrified with a touch of understanding and empathy. No one was entirely sure if anyone else escaped. They all suspected but no one knew who had survived and who had not. And no one was quite brave enough to go out and try to find them.

“If… If you survived, perhaps my brothers did as well,” the voice was barely a whisper and had a flicker of hesitant hope. “But I don’t want to count on it.”

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t want to be struck down again,” the first troll answered for him, understanding. “False hope can be devastating.”

“Other pop trolls survived,” Viva said, strongly. “The escapees. We were caught by Bergens and then escaped. There are others but we just don’t know where they are.”

“If they’re out there, they are exceptionally difficult to find.”

****

Clay followed John into the woods, his big brother humming a slow, unfamiliar tune. It sounded almost sad but that didn’t make any sense. He had never known his brother to listen to any sad music. John just started piling sticks next to a tree.

He had waited, momentarily, when John left the fire. Viva had glanced at him, a little confused but she trusted him. They talked about John almost like he wasn’t even there and although they talked in abstract riddles, Clay tried to piece together some things. Like his brother came back to the tree - for them - and thought his entire family was dead. Had for well over a decade. Just the thought made Clay sick to his stomach.

“John Dory.”

His brother turned around but his face just fell into a disappointed but almost concerned frown. Okay, so Clay wasn’t sure what he was expecting but he wasn’t expecting that for sure. It was like John was unhappy to see him. Perhaps he just should have known better. They had separated on terrible terms and John had said goodbye forever. The talk around the fire made it seem like he wanted his brothers back, to be alive. The look on his face told a different story.

“Oh. I guess I should have seen this coming.”

That was really not what he was expecting. “What?”

“One mention of my dead brothers and my brain decides yeah, lets hallucinate again,” John’s chuckle was hollow and without humor and it made Clay’s stomach turn over at least a dozen times.

“What?”

John squinted at him, slightly confused. “You don’t have to sound so shocked. I know you know.”

“I know?” Clay echoed, far more confused.

“Well, get on with it.”

“Get on… with?”

“I'd rather you leave quickly so I don’t have to take hallucination medication again. It messes with my memory and I’d like to keep whatever memories I do have at this point.”

“Get on with what?”

John tilted his head. “You’ve never acted this way before.”

“In your hallucinations?” Clay asked for clarification. “How does it usually go?”

“Lots of yelling, upset remarks, blame anger, etc. Guilt. Not you but me, obviously.”

That wasn’t obvious to Clay.

“Then you usually spout out how much you hate me and I just laugh.”

Clay’s stomach dropped. “Laugh?”

“Of course.”

“Why would you laugh?”

“Because you could never hate me as much as I hate myself.”

Clay sucked in a breath. “I don’t hate you.”

John looked mildly surprised, like he wasn’t expecting that answer. Clay wondered how many times John’s mind had told him that, using Clay’s face.

“Do you miss me?”

John snorted again. “That is a dumb question.”

Clay tried not to look hurt. “You used to tell me there was no such thing as dumb questions.”

“There isn’t. Except for that one. Well… except another one too but you haven’t asked me that one. I’m grateful for that.”

“What is the other dumb question?”

“Asking if I love you.”

Clay blinked. He had never really thought to ask that. No matter how much answer and resentment he held onto, for no matter how long, that never crossed his mind. And he was grateful for that. “I don’t need to ask a question I already know the answer to.”

He was pretty sure John was holding his breath. He was scared.

“I know you love me.”

And he let it out. “I do. Although I am a little surprised my brain is trying to assure me of that. That you know.”

“Do you think you have enough sticks?”

“Are you sticking along? Sometimes Pete is an ass about it.”

“About what?”

“The hallucinations.”

Oh right. John didn’t know he was real. “I won’t be obnoxious.”

He sighed. “Well, I can’t get rid of my guilty conscious so whatever.”

[hadersversion]

III. i can fix him (no really i can)

“good boy, that’s right. come close, i’ll show you heaven if you’ll be an angel all night.”

pairing: rafe cameron x innocent pogue! reader

word count: ?? (NOT PROOFREAD)

warnings: 18+ minors dni!! language, soft rafe cameron because my boy just needs some love, slow burn, fighting (m/m & f/m), toxic ex

masterlist!

the outer banks filled with people quickly over the past two nights.

the fourth of july was approaching and everyone wanted to spend their time off in a beach town as nice as the island.

i watched as cars filled in at the gas station, out of towners filling their car up and grabbing their essentials for their vacation.

“have a nice day.” i say, handing the bag over to the elderly man. i watched him hold the door open for someone and greet them with a smile.

“thank you.” kiara said sweetly, walking into the gas station. she came up to the counter, leaning against it. “how ya feeling, champ?” she hands me a paper cup of coffee.

“i love you, kiara carrera.” i take a big sip before putting it down, grabbing some candy no one bought but left at the register. “awful, haven’t had a break since i got here. i hate this. i hate how touristy this place becomes. and i hate how many people need gas for their cars. or snacks for their kids.” i rant, slamming down a bag of candy without knowing.

kie looks at me, trying to hold back her laugh. “you got this, you’re a trooper.” she pokes me. “and plus, you get to party tonight with your besties and watch the fireworks.”

“yay.” i say in a monotone voice, causing her to flip me the middle finger. “i’m just kidding, but i would much rather stay at home and watch a movie or something.”

“y/n, you have all summer to do that. one night, please. we haven’t done something like this since the last day of school.” she pleads.

“you remember the last day of school party?” i joke.

“yes, i do remember it. bits and pieces.” she admits, making us both laugh. “it’ll be fun, we got a keg and jj got some weed. it’ll be a chill night.”

“a chill night with a bunch of out of towners and kooks trying to crash.” i say.

kiara nodded. “not much we can do about that. but jj promised he won’t fight anyone tonight. just for you.”

“aw, how sweet.” i say sarcastically.

“such a gentleman.” she adds, grabbing a pack of gum and slipping me a dollar bill. “i’ll see you tonight, alright?” i nod as she walks out the door.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

all of our parties usually end the same. jj is too drunk and too rowdy that he gets into a fight. john b leaves with someone. kiara talks to anyone who will listen. pope, tries to sneak away early, but is caught up with jj in his shenanigans. and then there’s me. the one taking care of them. making sure that they get back to the chateau safe and sound. where would my friends be without me?

the more i think about the party, the more i just don’t want to go. i love my friends and our parties, but fourth of july always ends badly for us. it could be a curse or could be our inability to handle our alcohol.

the streets and beaches are packed as parties kick off to celebrate the holiday a day early.

just another excuse for people to get drunk.

jj already started the festivities off with a 6 pack of budweiser he’s been guzzling.

“hey, jj, no fair. you said you would give me some.” pope says, elbowing him.

“you snooze, you lose.” he smiles like the asshole he is.

i grab a beer from my bag and hand it to him. “i don’t know why you believe a word that comes out of that boys mouth when it involves alcohol and sharing.”

john b chimes in. “she has a point.” pope waves us off and sips the beer.

the beach fills up fast, john b and jj pulling their usual antics on the out of town crowd. charging the guys almost $10 to come in, but ladies get in free of course. some kooks make their appearances, keeping their distance from us. all is well.

until i see him.

rafe saunters onto the beach, head held high as he sips out of a red solo cup. once he sets his eyes on me, he doesn’t break it. it’s almost like i’m having deja vu to the last party he came to. especially with hearing my friends talk in disgust about him.

“here we go.” john b spits.

a pit forms in my stomach as i watch him part the crowd like the red sea. everyone just stares at him as he makes his way through. he’s like a celebrity to these people.

my body and my mind feels drawn to him, like i’m in some sort of trance. i want to reach out, talk to him, touch him. anything. but that’s risky right now with all of my friends scattered around.

i shake my beer can and sigh. “i’m empty, gonna go get another.” i make way over to the coolers, digging around the ice, waiting.

waiting for him.

“there’s my favorite pogue.” i hear from behind me.

i straighten myself up and smile, turning to look at him. “the kook prince himself. what brings you out to these parts?” i ask, putting my hand on my hip.

“had to make sure you were staying out of trouble.” he jokes, sipping his beer.

“very funny, coming from you.” i say and he shrugs. “just didn’t expect it.”

“why? cause your friends fucking hate me?” i look over at him. he’s wearing a light blue polo that shows his tone body off with a backwards cap. what a fucking kook.

“precisely.” i say, opening my beer. “most pogues do.”

“well i can think of one who doesn’t hate me.” he says, tapping my can with his cup to ‘cheers’ me.

“oh really? who might they be?” i say sarcastically.

“well, she’s pretty fucking cool. is always true to herself, doesn’t let what anyone thinks get in her way. let’s see, what else? she also has a weird obsession with dolphins.” i elbow him. “hey, hey. just telling the truth.”

“fuck off.” i take another sip.

a comfortable silence falls between us, fireworks start shooting off above us. the red, white and blue paints the sky as we both stare at it.

“not on such high alert with me right now. not worried about your friends looking at us?” he says in an almost teasing tone. i hate his stupid, beautiful face.

“should i?” i ask back.

“you always seem to.” he says back.

our eyes never leave the sky.

i sigh and sip my beer. “it’s complicated.”

“i’m sure.” he says shortly.

i look over at him. “how would your friends feel if you were off fraternizing with the enemy?”

he laughs and turns to me. “fraternizing?”

“shut up, you know what i mean.” i blush. “it’s just…complicated with them.”

“complicated how, exactly?” he asks. “you’re your own person, ya know?”

“i know. but they’re like my family. i don’t wanna let my family down.” i sigh.

he nods. “you’re too good for them.”

“stop.” i say with a chuckle.

“i mean it. you are. you have a big heart, you care for everyone. you second guess everything to make sure it won’t hurt them.” he says. “do they do that for you?”

my breathe hitches. “i-i-um.” i stammer.

“just what i thought.” he snaps back. “i’m just saying, you should prioritize yourself.” i can’t talk, overthinking everything he just said. how is he reading me like he’s known me his whole life. “did i lose you there?”

“n-no, just gave me a lot to think about right there, dude.” i chuckle awkwardly.

he opens his mouth to say something but gets interrupted.

“hey y/n.” a voice says.

we both look up to see a boy. he’s one from around the cut. one that i used to talk to.

“hey brandon.” i say quietly.

brandon and i go way back, dating here and there throughout the years. we finally broke up because, according to him, i wouldn’t ‘put out’.

in simple terms, fuck this guy.

he looks over to rafe and back at me. “what are you doing over here?” his eyes rake over my body, making me shiver from being uncomfortable. he’s always been a bit of a…perv. to say the least.

“talking.” rafe says. “we’re just talking.” he steps up a bit, in a protective manner.

brandon closes his eyes in annoyance. “wasn’t talking to you, cameron.”

“well now you are.” rafe says with a smug smile. “so whatever you wanted to say to my friend, y/n, you can say to me.”

brandon let’s out a breathe. “why are you even here, bro? don’t you got some gala or something to go to?”

i roll my eyes. “he can be here, brandon. it’s a free beach.”

he turns to me. “wouldn’t have expected you to fuck a kook, y/n. didn’t peg you for the traitor type.”

my face turns red. “i’m not fucking anyone. and if i was, why does it concern you?”

he moves closer. “a little shocked that the virgin mary of the cut would be so easy to put out. especially for rafe fucking cameron. just a little shocked to say the least. seems a little easy.” brandon is so close, i’m looking up to him as he speaks to me.

this was brandon’s favorite thing to do. talk down to me when he’s the one that’s upset.

before i can defend myself, rafe puts himself in between us. “hey man, back the fuck up, will ya?” he says.

i peak my head up and look at him. “and get the fuck out of here.”

brandon’s eyes darken. “who the fuck do you think you’re talking to, bitch?” he almost yells.

“you, bitch.” i spit, anger taking over my body.

rafe turns around and gives me a smile like he’s proud of me. “you good?” he asks and i nod. when he gets the assurance he needs, he turns back to him. “you heard her, get the fuck out of here.”

“i’m not letting a kook tell me what to do, especially not rafe cameron.” he’s up close and personal in rafe’s face. “don’t get pussy whipped by her, bro. she won’t put out for shit.”

rafe tenses up and suddenly pushes him onto the ground. when brandon tries to get up, rafe steps onto his chest and holds him down. “apologize.”

“what the f-” he wheezes out as rafe steps down harder.

“apologize to her. now.” rafe grits his teeth.

“fuck no.” and with a swift movement, rafe’s on the ground and holding brandon by the collar of his shirt.

i stand there, unable to move. it’s not fear i’m feeling but my body feels like a rush is taking over.

“fucking apologize to her before i leave you unrecognizable.” rafe yells.

brandon’s eyes widen as he looks at rafe, like a prey looking at its predator. “i-i’m sorry, okay. jesus.”

rafe drops his body down and stands up, spitting down at him. “and stay the fuck away from her.” his voice sounds dark. it almost looks like he’s holding back.

if this is him holding back, how does he react when he’s really pushed over the edge?

he turns around, his face reflecting the anger his body has. i hate the reaction my body is having to him in this state. he’s like a magnet that i can’t help but get stuck on. his face softens as he looks at me. “you okay?” he lightly caresses my arm.

the touch has me feeling electric. “y-yeah.” i breathe out. i look into his eyes and i feel as though there’s physical hearts on them. i’m so lost in thoughts about rafe, i don’t notice the crowd of people form around us, looking at the two of us in confusion.

i know how this will look. rafe cameron came to the cut to fuck with the pogues and be a menace to society. but it wasn’t true. far from it.

“let’s go.” i say, grabbing his hand.

he instinctively squeezes it once we make contact. “where?”

“anywhere . c’mon.” i pull him through the crowd and we run across the beach. the fireworks light up the night sky and leave a ringing in our ears. the music from the beach gets quieter and quieter, signaling that we got far enough.

i finally stop our tracks, turning around to look at him. the wind blows my hair as the ocean waves come crashing near us. he’s looking down at me, still holding my hand. “you okay?”

“thank you.” i say, ignoring his question. “but you didn’t have to do that.”

“y/n, don’t thank me for that. i should thank you for letting me talk down to the little shit.” he laughs. “but of course i had to do that, no one talks to you that way and gets away with it.”

“just accept the gratitude, dammit.” we both chuckle and he nods. “brandon is such a dick but you didn’t have to almost kill him to defend me.”

“i handle all assholes the same way, y/n. he was the luckiest one of them all if i’m completely honest.” i sigh, not wanting to know the full backstory of what he means but i can already see it in my head. “how do you even know him?” he asks, pushing hair behind my ear as it blows around my face.

“we dated way back when. didn’t work out for obvious reasons.” i say.

rafe’s eyes are painted with jealousy. “you dated that jerkoff?”

“sadly.” i shrug.

rafe shakes his head and closes his eyes. “well, if he ever tries to pull some shit like that again. let me know and i’ll take care of it.”

take care of it. those four words shouldn’t have sent warmth right to my core but it did.

“even though you had him shaking in his boots when you called him a bitch.” i blush, closing my eyes, and he squeezes my hand. “hey, it was badass…and hot.” he adds.

i open my eyes and look back at him. “hot?”

“i mean you’re always hot but that was…that was very attractive.” he tells me.

we stare at each other in silence. we both don’t know where to go from there but we both know what we want to do.

i feel myself stand up on my tippy toes, slowly. my hands rest on his chest as i stare at him. his breathe shutters as i stand there. there’s a voice inside of my head telling me to back down. do not kiss him. if you do, things will go from bad to worse. but then there’s a different voice, the voice telling me how soft his lips would feel. how good this kiss would be. how happy it would make me. i battle with the angel and devil on my shoulder before ultimately giving into the desires i’ve been wanting since we started talking.

our lips connect and if the fireworks weren’t going off above us right now, there would be some from the way this kiss feels. it’s sweet and gentle, two words most people wouldn’t use to describe rafe cameron. his hands slowly find their way to my cheeks, cupping them as though he’d lose me if he let go. all the frustration we’ve been building up from each other now finding its way out in a satisfying ending. i deepen the kiss, my tongue slowly entering into his mouth. i can tell it takes him by surprise when his breathe stutters in my mouth. like he’s letting out a sigh of relief. my hands find their way to his cap, holding onto it. i could stay like this for eternity but i pull myself back unhurriedly.

we just stand there, looking into each others eyes. “took you long enough.” rafe jokes, making me punch his arm.

“don’t ruin this, asshole.” i say.

he pulls me into his body tighter. “alright, alright. i won’t. only because i’ve been waiting so long for this.”

his arms engulf me as we stand there. i don’t want to leave, i could make myself at home here. leave the entire outer banks and their class system behind. leave the whole damn world behind if i could. but i know the reality is slowly creeping outside of this bubble we created. but i want to relish this moment for as long as i can. i rest my head on his chest and sigh, taking in his expensive cologne and memorizing his breathing patterns. the fireworks continue on overhead as i smile to myself.

this. this is the moment i knew, i fell hard for rafe cameron. harden than i ever expected.

tag list: @readingsmuts @saranred @kikixdee @drewsdirtyslut @ephermally @personaswrld @ymnizuh @lillywildly @anaheimd101 @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @thewitchesofart @ditzyzombiesblog @gothamgurl2024 @machersgirlie

[phi8]

Recently rewatched Gravity Falls with its resurgence online, and I was itching to give my take on an older Mabel with an absolute unit of a Waddles (who is a regular farm pig after all). To go along with this, I also wrote some fanfic: a letter from Dipper to Mabel, about his return to Gravity Falls years after the show. Read it on AO3 or below!

Dear Mabel,

I hope everything is going well back home!  I miss you already, but it’s so good to be back in Gravity Falls too. A  lot has changed since our summer here.

The first week of my internship at McGucket Labs has been amazing. McGucket has really transformed Northwest Manor into a fantastic campus (though he still insists everyone call it “the Hootenanny Hut”)! There are so many  brilliant scientists and engineers here, and most of them have a refreshingly open mind about the nature and use of all the weirdness you can find in Gravity Falls. My experience with all that stuff is already paying off big time. Yesterday some PHD dude asked for my opinion on practical applications of necromancy (I told him it was a bad idea)!

Candy says hi by the way! It’s funny, for me this internship is all the way across the country, but for her it’s practically in her back yard, even though we both got that scholarship. Also, she tells me Grenda is more or less officially part of the Austrian aristocracy at this point? Apparently she and that Marius duke guy got engaged, did you hear about that?? Turns out I’m completely out of the loop with your friend group.

Candy and I have been hanging out with, of all people, Pacifica and Gideon. Can you believe it? Pacifica works at Corduroy Lumber these days. Probably in some misguided sense to get back to her roots, but I think it’s doing her some actual good. Working with her hands has been teaching her valuable life lessons I guess. It makes it a bit weird if Wendy also comes hang out, because she’s technically Pacifica’s boss – but you know Wendy’s cool about that.

Gideon is still running the Tent of Telepathy, so, not all winners. But he’s turned into a more lovable kind of swindler I think, like a younger Stan. He’s honestly kinda funny now (except that he’s taller than me). Wendy also told me he has a thing for Pacifica, and once she did, I couldn’t unsee it. He’s all over her! Pacifica hasn’t noticed, even though they spend a lot of time together. Or maybe she just hasn’t deigned it with a reaction... Either way, both of them are a ball to go for a drink with, whoda thunk.

You also have a lot of hugs from Soos, Melody and the baby (Stan Jr is sooo cute). (Yes, I asked. Melody promised to make you godmother of the hypothetical next child. You owe me.) The Shack is as charmingly ramshackle as it was back when we were here, but Soos finally got the old man stink out. I’m staying in Grunkle Ford’s old secret office because our room was converted to baby chamber. I still haven’t gotten the Bill murals completely off the walls and I have no natural light down here, but I spend most of my time at Northwest Manor the Hootenanny Hut anyway.

Or in the woods! Being back here really was a good move for my Youtube channel, there’s so much more supernatural stuff here than in California, and people are loving it. (I saw you liked my last video, thanks!) I’m currently tracking down what I think is the actual Gobblewonker. I analyzed some detritus samples from the lake, and there were feces from a large reptile present. From what we know, none of the dinosaurs in the mine were aquatic, so my current hypothesis is that it’s an unrelated creature. Especially since, according to my research, the Gobblewonker story dates back at least a century. I also gotta show Ford some of my findings. You know they’ve come across some aquatic monsters in the Bermuda Triangle. (Have you also been getting his mails with scans of the fourth journal? Truly fascinating stuff.) Either way, I’ll keep you posted, and you’ll be able to watch the result online.

Give my love to mom and dad, and Waddles a tummy rub! Awkward sibling sign off, Dipper

PS. Along with the photo’s in the envelope is that stuff you wanted. Be safe with it! There’s a reason it’s illegal in the parts of the forest controlled by the gnomes. But also have fun, I have it on very good authority it’s the good stuff.

[burntb4bydoll]

I love your writing soo much it hurts. 🥲

Can you please write like a 2000s bill smut or fluff ( whatever you feel comfortable with), where they build a pillows and blankets fort together and they end up falling asleep cuddled. And the rest of the band takes photos and mocks them the next day.

At this point I need fics to breathe. Thanks ✌

Thank you so much beautiful<3

This is such a cute idea! Im gonna do fluff for the people that dont like smut, cuz i feel like i dont post a lot of only fluff fics!

Bill Kaulitz x reader

Warnings: friends to loverssss🤭, nothing else really just a lot of cute stuff

When Bill had invited you to come over, you didn’t think this is what you guys would end up doing. You’re currently helping Bill set up a massive blanket fort in his living room. He originally invited you over to watch a movie, but after you arrived he decided that he wanted to make it more fun by making a fort. Even though you didn’t expect it, you were having so much fun hanging out alone with him. After you guys finished setting up the fort, Bill let you pick out a movie and you laid next to each other to watch it.

“This is fun. We should hangout alone more often. I feel like we only ever spend time with the band, I like having this type of one on one time together.” Bills attention left the tv screen to look over at you as you started talking. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with them too but you know…”

“I know. I like this too. I’ve actually been trying to hangout with you alone for a while now, but uhh things never really go as planned…” he trailed off, his eyes moving down to break your intense eye contact. He awkwardly shifted for a minute before turning to fully face you. His head still laid on the pillow, but now he was looking at you. “Um..I actually invited you here to tell you something. Its kinda important to me…” you turned to face him too. Now you were only a few inches away from one another, you could practically feel his uneven breath hitting you.

“Whats up? You seem nervous. You know I won’t judge you, Bill.” Your hand comes up to hold his hand comfortingly. He takes a shaky breath in and stares into your eyes,

“Y/n, I really like you. And not as a friend. I wanna be your boyfriend so bad. Not a day goes by where I don’t dream about being with you.” Your eyes go wide, inhaling sharply.

“Bill..I like you too. I was literally going to tell you tonight.” He looks at you with a blank expression for a moment before giggling loudly. His adorable laugh made you giggle too. Once you two calm down a little he starts talking again,

“Oh my god I was so nervous! I can’t believe I was so stressed for nothing!” He laughs softly, leaning closer to you. You smile and shake your head, just happy that you don’t have to hide your feelings anymore. “Can I…can I kiss you?” You nod eagerly as his hands cup your face gently. He slowly leans in, placing a experimental kiss on your lips. Once you both relax a bit, the kiss turns passionate and intimate. He pulls away and gives one last peck on your lips before tucking his head underneath yours and holding your waist tightly. Before you knew it, both of you fell asleep in each others arms.

You woke up the next morning to hearing some snickers and giggles. Sitting up slightly, you groggily rubbed your eyes and looked around the room. When your eyes finally focused you realized what was happening. Bill was curled up against your side with his head laying on your shoulder. His hair was messy and he was drooling a little. The rest of the band was standing above you guys, taking pictures and laughing. Bill stirred and sat up, groaning at his brothers loud laughter.

“What are you guys doing here? You’re so annoying!” Bill grumbles, swatting away the camera that Gustav had shoved in his face.

“What are we doing here?” Tom exclaimed, “What are you guys doing here? We’re not the ones all cuddled up and being all lovey-dovey!” Georg and Gustav bursted into another fit of giggles, looking at the pictures they had took of you.

“Hey! You better delete those! I did not agree to have my picture taken, especially while I’m sleeping!” Bill jumped up and started to chase Georg around, trying to retrieve his camera. You giggled a little and laid back down.

“Its too damn early for this. Fuck you guys I’m going back to sleep.”

[kxlitz]

★ Dating 2023!Bill Kaulitz ★ (Fluff overload)

AN: Oh boy, I never thought I’d actually post some of my hcs, let’s see how this goes. I’m typing this half-asleep on my phone so I apologize for any grammatical or technical mistake, please let me know if anything!!

Let’s start with setting something straight, Bill does not fall for someone easily nor does he like to sleep around, as he’s said himself. If he’s actually decided on dating you it is a synonym for “I can see an entire future with you and I have probably thought of marriage plans”

No matter how you guys met; whether it was through mutual friends, by chance or were childhood friends, it would take you weeks, months or even years of forming a strong bond before even considering the first date.

Bill has said many times that he believes in love at first sight and probably still does, but fame and people have definitely left him with some major trust issues.

Won’t give you a house key or ask you to move in till he’s completely certain that you’re fully trust-worhy, but he loves having you over with him.

Now that you guys are together, he is the sweetest person on earth, will worship you like you’re a divine creature that landed on earth. He would worship the ground you walk on if he could.

Never-ending honeymoon stage kind of relationship not going to lie-

Will take you out to theme parks, rent out movie theatres, take you on hikes and long walks on a deserted beach.

Don’t be surprised if you ever wake up to a screaming Bill, all hyped because he decided that you’re spending your weekend at Disney.

He is so cheesy but it’s so sweet to see. He’s at a point in his life that he just wants to love and be loved. Kisses on the cheek, opening doors for you, pushing your chair at restaurants. He’s a gentleman.

Till it applies to his fashion. You ARE doomed to help him out of his outfit when he decides to be a bit more daring. Just like he does with Georg and Tom he will do it with you. “y/n you know the drill. When my assistant is not around you’re my assistant now help me out of these shoes”

Speaking of shoes, he is almost 2 meters (and sometimes more) when he wears his platforms and he absolutely loves towering over you. Bill loves to see you reach for a kiss. He will also walk behind you and ruffle your hair to annoy you.

This man is so whipped. He can gush about you for hours on end in interviews, his socials or his podcast.

He would also expose you a lot on Kaulitz Hills because that’s what he does.

He loves physical touch. When you’re walking in downtown LA he will always have an arm wrapped around your shoulders or waist, holding your hand or linking your pinkies.

He has the sneakiest of hands, it’s even worse than Tom. Bill always finds a way to have hand under your shirt or skirt if you happen to wear them. He can’t help it, he loves to feel your skin on his hands.

Back Hugs !!!

You will become his muse. He loves to dress you up however he pleases, you just look so good in everything! Bill will spend so much cash on designer sets to match with you. Only the best for his beloved.

He mostly calls you by your name in public but behind closed doors he would address you by the sweetest names like “My love, Darling/liebling, Pumpkin”

You guys are always out to eat

And at coffee shops

You’re each other’s personal photographers. Plus he absolutely adores to show you off on his instagram

I can see him as the type to start a vlogging channel just to show off how in love and happy he is with you.

Prepare yourself mentally to be woken up early to walk the dogs and drink sour green juice. Bill used to be a tremendous sleeper when he was young but those days are way behind.

When you wake up together, it is the best. He tends to wake up first and will stay in bed just admiring how beautiful you are. Tracing your features with his fingers. He wants to memorize every inch of your skin.

If you take too long though, he will get up and go prepare breakfast. Yes it includes celery juice.

You guys are always hanging with Tom & Heidi! You get into the craziest adventures

Heidi would love you so much, so would her kids. You and Bill are the cool relatives.

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

Joy, what if there's someone else or a family who have similar hair colour and eyes colour see Peter and decided that he belong with their family haha and Tony who heard about that got jealous and declared war to them haha

What if that person/family *was* Tony and it's not until AFTER he has his armor in a twist about it that he figures out it's him. lmao.

Like, one day Peter mentions that there's this person who kinda looks like him and he kinda likes to pretend he's his dad. "Do you think that's weird?"

Tony feels like he's just taken the entire weight of a train to his gut. Because, well- he kinda thinks of Peter as his kid. He knew him first. He called dibs! But Peter looks nervous and a little embarrassed so he forces a smile. "I think as long as that person is good to you, it's fine." But it's a lie. It's a HUGE lie because no one could treat Peter better than he can.

"Well, the thing is- they don't actually know I, uh- think that. They *are* good to me but really, it's just kind of a game I play with them. In my head."

Tony nods, his brain is turning. If he can figure out who this person is, he can ask them to back off. He could let them know the kid has the whole mentor-father figure thing covered. No need to butt in. He clenches his jaw, imagining what that would feel like. "So, is it a teacher or-" He needs to narrow down his options.

"He teaches me stuff."

"Family friend?"

"Kind of. May was a little weird about it at first but he's growing on her."

Great, Tony thinks. If May likes this guy that could create a massive problem because May does NOT like him. She doesn't hate him either but if she had to choose someone for her nephew to internally parentalize? Is that a word? Doesn't matter. If May had to choose. It wouldn't be him. He really needed to track this guy down; maybe find him a job on the opposit side of the planet.

He wants to ask who exactly this person is, but if he's going to declare a secret war on them he needs the Parkers to believe he has no idea who Peter is talking about. So, he doesn't ask. Instead, he spends the next two days coming up with a plan of action. Nothing too nefarious. He comes up with a fake raffle. One that would allow the winner to visit the SI headquarters in China. If that person was then offered a permanent job there with benefits, a sign-on bonus and housing- well, who could give that up?

After that was worked out, he used FRIDAY to narrow down a list of suspects. He made certain to ask Peter about his daily activities, He tried to bring up the mystery person in conversation, hoping to gain some insight. All the while he had FRIDAY analyzing the data.

All of that effort, and by day six he's narrowed it down to two people and neither of them makes sense. Ned's Dad looks nothing like Peter. And that teacher Peter talks about, Mr. Harrington doesn't seem to take an interest in Peter outside of school-related functions.

"Peter- who is this person?" he finally asks, trying and failing to keep the frustration out of his voice.

"What person?"

"The person you see a- the one you pretend is your dad. I've been trying to figure it out and- who is it?"

Peter ducks his head, his lip goes between his teeth and his cheeks turn five sade of red.

"Come on, Pete. It can't be that bad." Horror passes through his brain. "It's not Happy is it?" He can't send Happy to China. If it's Happy he's going to have to live with it. Miserably.

"No!" Peter looks up briefly. "It's- Mr. Stark, it's you."

That tain is back to hit him in the gut again. This time in a good way. "Me? I thought you said May liked this person?"

Peter laughs. "I said they were growing on her."

Tony thinks back. Peter had also said the person looked kind of like him, was good to him, and taught him stuff. He supposed he fit the bill. His chest, and subsequently his cheeks grew warm. "Pete, I-"

"I'm sorry! I know it's weird!"

"Not weird, Buddy. One hundred percent not weird."

"It's not?"

"Nah. Or if it is, then we're both weird because I've been thinking about you as my kid for a while." He grins. "Is this the part where we hug?"

Peter grins too. "I don't know. Are we there yet?"

"Get in here you little punk!" He and Peter fall into each other's arms. They squeeze tightly and smile stupidly. Eventually, Tony glances up at the ceiling. "Hey FRIDAY? Cancel operation 'Three's a Crowd.'"

"Operation what? Peter asks.

Tony yanks Peter's head back down onto his chest and squeezes him a little more tightly. "Nothing. Don't worry about it. Let's just hug it out, then go do some science."

Peter giggles happily. "Sure, Mr. Stark. Let's do that."

[beingfacetious]

please give us the correct negative Ted lasso review

Oh my God. This feels like a trap but I can't help it

update from the other side, this is no joke 2k words long and it's not uh happy lmao so dead dove do not eat

TL;DR:

Bill Lawrence's involvement lessened every season and it fuckin' shows

There were arcs and plot points established over the first two seasons that the writers very obviously just changed their minds about for this season

Takes about this season being dark/ending sad on purpose are MUCH too generous. like giving WAY too much credit.

It turns out most of my feelings boil down to "it's not aggressively bad it's just nonsensical"

How tf was every episode twice as long as in previous seasons but everything important happened offscreen

FIRST OF ALL, since MONTHS before the season started airing, I've nursed a conspiracy theory that Bill Lawrence left the show because of creative differences with Jason Sudeikis and that therefore this season would be significantly less good than previous seasons. This started when I saw Bill tweet that he was going home, basically, and I figured we'd get "season 3 is in post" news shortly thereafter but instead there was that weird stuff about things being delayed because of rewrites...? Anyway, that is mostly to say that I was ready to think this season was worse because I love Bill Lawrence's storytelling and have forever and you should give Cougar Town a shot if you haven't yet it's no Scrubs but it's sweet

There were interviews early in the show in which I swear Jason/Brendan/whoever said they pitched the show to Bill because he's fuckin' good at TV and he basically said "this is a great idea but you're writing to the wrong ending, it should be this," and they were like "wow you're right that is a better ending." I can't find that now but I did find this from a more recent Bill interview:

I ran that show the first year because Jason was still shooting movies while we were doing the writers room. Then, at the end of that year, much like Gary with me, I was like, “Ah, I’ll spend a couple of months teaching him how to edit.” But after like a day or two, he’s like, “Yeah, I got it.” (Laughs.) So, the second year, we ran it together, and I’m only able to do other things now because that guy ran the show himself the third year, as it should be. It’s his voice and his world this season.

Now look, Bill Lawrence is obviously not trying to throw shade here because he's lovely and also this is a Hollywood Reporter article and how immature would that be, but I can throw shade for him and I will: Jason Sudeikis is a talented comedic actor and seems like a very nice man and he had a good idea for a show, and his instincts to involve an extremely experienced showrunner with an insane talent for feelsy found family sitcoms were good and he should have stuck to them!! Telling Bill Lawrence you're good after two days of editing instruction or whatever is stupid!! Insisting on your voice and your world when BILL LAWRENCE'S VOICE IS AVAILABLE TO YOU and also you CO-CREATED THE WORLD whatever gdi

OK fine I'll do Ted/Rebecca next. Obviously I was in for Ted/Rebecca. I wanted them to put their faces together. But look, I'm not a shipper over all else; over all else I want a good storyteller to tell me the story they want to tell. If I expect things or see them coming, that's not bad! That's good! If I'm surprised by things, that's good too as long as it holds together! "Subverting expectations" shouldn't look like spiting the audience, a lie is not a twist, etc. SO. If Ted and Rebecca were meant to be platonic soulmates, that's fine!!! I don't NEED them to kiss!!! But I do not believe these people are even friends in season 3, after season 1 and tbh most of my favorite parts of season 2 were about how much they impact each other's lives. That's a dropped ball and there's NO REASON to have not made time for them to interact meaningfully because every episode was so fucking long. Instead I guess we had to know how super sad Rebecca was about not being able to have children but not need to talk to anyone about it and immediately be fully over it. Also see a lot of lingering shots of Rebecca...looking at a matchbook...

sfjbkfgs early in the season they very obviously established that Rebecca's arc was going to be realizing she actually loves the team and wants to support them and see them succeed because of her own heart and not to spite Rupert, and I guess that happened but why didn't it happen gradually in ways I could see, why did it happen in an episode in which I'm supposed to have known all along that this has to do with her childhood self ?? and in which Rupert has a FULL personality change to facilitate her sudden realization. In what fucking world would he invite her to that meeting, because she's smart or because she brings ~diversity or because maybe he wants to sleep with her again? None of it tracks at all lmao but it was also the episode in which I really enjoyed Tony Head so whatever

speaking of not tracking, Nate.........I've never been invested in Nate especially but he was SO cartoonishly evil at the start and then kind of never again. I was braced for a redemption arc I wouldn't care about but that didn't even really happen?? he got a girlfriend and realized Rupert was a bad role model? it turns out his dad thinks he was a prodigy and always just wanted him to be happy, which, lmao WHAT where????? and what am I supposed to believe about Jade changing her mind about him btw because she's seen people be terrible to him at that very table before AND she has to know he loves the place and the food because he's there all the time, so what was the revelation that turned her from relatable-via-Nate-ambivalence to suddenly heart-eyes just fdslelugatw so much of my feeling about this season isn't even like it's bad it's just it's nonsense

One of my big complaints about the season is just Keeley's whole deal. Separating her from the team/rest of the cast was a wild choice. Barbara is fine but I also would have been perfectly fine without her and none of the other new characters for the PR side story added anything to the show. Especially if at the end Rebecca is just going to write Keeley a check for the chump change she needs to run the agency. Why didn't we just do that to begin with??? I guess this season I'm supposed to think Keeley ~learned to be independent in various ways but, again, I don't ?? And her needing to not be with Roy I guess as part of that and then get back together offscreen but then not really be together maybe but then also possibly having throuple vibes later that never get acknowledged feels, whatever, like something Bill Lawrence didn't write sdfjlsefaj,lwte I know this is my unsupportable argument that post I RBed was making fun of but idc

also Jamie wanting to be with Keeley at the end of the show feels extremely Harry Potter epilogue to me lmao Jamie you don't have to marry someone you went to high school with there are so many people

Roy was fine this season. He didn't have much to do but that's probably for the best lol. Him taking Ted's job is probably the only main character ending I feel like makes sense for this season and the overall show. Him training and begrudgingly becoming friends with Jamie was always funny.

OK one of the wrong reviews was basically like if you don't appreciate this season you don't appreciate classic tragic structure. Fuck off with that. First of all this was a sitcom about soccer so even if they were going for a classic tragedy in season 3 that's stupid and they shouldn't have been. But I also just don't think that's what was happening ??? I think I'm supposed to believe everyone gets a happy ending and I just don't. Like the whole oh it's sad that Ted ends up where he started and it's about how persistent optimism and kindness can burn you out or whatever, that's...if that's what they were going for, again, why tf, and also could we have seen that like. at all. Ted barely Teds for anyone this season (frex the previously mentioned never talking to Rebecca). ROY Teds more than Ted in season 3. If we got to see Ted trying to Ted even, like, twice, and either not being able to dig down and find the positivity or I guess noticing that he needs someone to be that for him, OK, fine. A Ted/Keeley scene would have been a PERFECT vehicle for this. Didn't happen. idk if we're supposed to think he's getting back together with Michelle but that would be so...so bad ??? like what about Tan Lines??? why even have Tan Lines??? even if not, we just left completely unaddressed her starting a relationship with their marriage counselor, which is also BAD lmao. God why did I have to see so much of Michelle this season. Michelle video calls every other episode and two lines for Dr. Sharon. Nonsense. lol one of my friends summarized Ted's ending as "yeah going back to the unfulfilling life that didn't work before the show started is a victory for our protagonist"

Even the soccer of it all re that whole thing was silly. Oh marriage counselor boyfriend is a bad guy because he doesn't care about the soccer game. Oh Ted is happy now because he's coaching Henry's rec league soccer team. like it's fine that EVERYONE is still together in Richmond but he's "home" now and still around soccer which is good because we definitely saw him learn to love soccer during the course of the show. sure Jan

(to be fair I am not the audience for "it's about the kid" plots so even if I felt like it worked from the start of the show for Ted to choose moving back to where Henry is, which I don't, I wouldn't care for it, so maybe those criticisms aren't especially valid) (I didn't care about JD's kid either)

speaking of the soccer though every single scene that revolved around the actual soccer team was essentially perfect. Great use of so many of those boys. Very few notes. Sam in particular had a few nice things this season and of course Colin. Another incorrect review by a critic I actually like very much was complaining about Colin's story this season and it being tired and overdone and not caring about Trent's or Isaac's parts of it, but I actually really disagree! It was well done and it was nice to see in the context of professional sports where, sorry, coming out and being received well is not a cliche thing that happens a lot! Also, hot take! Zava was a good part of this season! Nice contained little story that impacted some characters I actually care about plus he was legit funny! Sometimes things in a comedy should be funny! I'd honestly watch three more seasons of Richmond-focused half-hour episodes with idk probably Brett Goldstein in charge

I haven't mentioned Beard because I just never understood what I was supposed to think about him lmao. By far the funniest character overall but I never felt settled on whether he was meant to be a manic pixie comic relief BFF or if he was like...a real person?? It strikes me as potentially bad that he was so worried about Ted's mental state all the time and never really mentioned his own and that was sort of a thing in the weird s2 episode but then not again? I felt so much ire about so much else I didn't have any for him marrying Jane lmao but I do understand the people who are upset about that because that sure seemed pretty toxic, but wasn't it supposed to be played for laughs? Does that fit in a show that's supposed to mainly be about people treating each other well because we're all we've got? idk, RIP Beard, sorry your best friend in the world wasn't at your wedding because it would have been narratively underwhelming to see him leave and then see him back at a future major event or whatever

idk idk, season 1 Rebecca was one of my favorite characters ever and I was so angry in the middleish of the season about how much I felt like she was being wasted, but by the end I was just like...I mean, what's to be mad at. She's not even her anymore. Ted wasn't Ted anymore. Nate I guess literally reverted back to season 1 Nate which also is that...okay...him ending up lower than he started out feels not great

Good for Mae and the bar boys though, used just the right amount this and every season and always a damn delight

OK this is ridiculous I'm going to be done now. I do want to say I enjoyed several episodes this season a lot! A couple top 10 potentials! I really enjoyed the Amsterdam one actually because it reminded me of like a Nancy Meyers movie, very nice and warm, but it feels worth noting that that is not a feeling I would describe as being struck by fucking lightning :))))))

in conclusion maybe we as a nation can move on now from giving SNL alumni we find charming huge budgets and ethereally talented casts and collaborators and letting them get us emotionally invested in their midlife crises sandbox playing

[rockitmans]

Blaine Anderson Vs Valentine's Day

Summary: Blaine drunk posts on his Instagram asking for a date for Valentine's Day. He gets one.

Notes: Written for the @klaineccfanficlibrary Valentine Challenge. I'm gonna write this daily so chapters will probably be short and sweet. Today's song is Lovely Day by Bill Withers.

Warnings: Drunken decision making, unsolicited dick pics

Read on AO3 or below

~~~~~~~~

The Instagram post is obviously a mistake. But in Blaine's defence he was:

very drunk

unwilling to give up a reservation at Di Fara, a booking he'd made nine months previously to guarantee a table for Valentine's Day, and 

clearly losing his mind because of very justifiable reasons and therefore found the whole thing hilarious. At the time. 

It probably would have been fine except Blaine has, at this point, gathered quite a respectable following with his reels of genre bending interpretations of popular songs. There reaches a point where one becomes an actual Influencer and posting dumb shit on the internet stops being a joke between friends and starts being an example of youth culture going off the rails. Or something. He's not even a youth. He's in his late twenties. 

He winces through his hangover as he looks at the post again. He'd gotten Sam, who is an enabler more than anything, to take it. He's shirtless, posing like a total fuck boy with his hair artfully tousled and giving the camera his best sultry expression. An expression that he would never willingly admit to practising in the mirror. It's so cringey he can barely breathe. 

Which is nothing compared to the caption. 

Wanted: Valentine's Day Date

I have reservations for two at Di Fara, but SEBASTIAN decided he was more interested in fucking some guy from the gym than eating the best Italian food in New York. I thought it was weird that he couldn't even pick me up with all the time he was spending at the gym. Your loss SEBASTIAN, I would hate to waste such an amazing dining experience on a rat face LIAR. 

Offering: This hot body. A fully paid meal comprised of aforementioned excellent Italian food. Salvation from a Valentine's Day evening spent Sad and Alone. 

Seeking: A man that is not Sebastian. 

The comment section is flooded of course. There's well over four hundred, a massive number for him, and probably includes some non followers. If he knew it was this easy to manufacture engagement on his posts, he would have done it a long time ago. A quick skim indicates a range of reactions. From sorrow for his break up with Sebastian - who was once a regular on his feed - to hilarity at the nature of the post, to quite sincere sales pitches as to why they should be the one to get the date. 

sebsational94 my name is sebastian but I am not THE sebastian. I would never play you like that boo. can I still qualify? 😇

boooomers Can't believe this is the way we get to see Blaine Anderson shirtless. I am UNWELL

wlfricbea brooo you really be callin out ur man like this omg. rip king seb u will be missed 

cherycool When you say you are offering your hot body, what are we talking here? 👀

tinbd @ cherycool Right? Is Blaine Anderson a Slut? 

sofee.bailey Alexa, play Lovely Day by Bill Withers. Because it's always a lovely day when people take out the TRASH

musicallymotivatedd … still waiting for this cough syrup cover you keep promising 🙄

Blaine's phone buzzes in his hand and he almost drops it out of pure fear. But it's just a message from Tina laughing at him. And then demanding to know why he didn't just ask her to a fancy dinner. Which is a valid point. Blaine has several single friends he could have a fun evening with. But he was drunk on Peach Schnapps, not making functional decisions. He really is a slutty drunk and he literally never learns.

After a moment to psych himself up, he flips to his DMs, which are much worse. He's not particularly stringent with his privacy settings and his inbox is full of chat requests and a LOT of dick pics. As if he's going to pick a date based on the shape of someone's dick. It's exhausting. 

He taps out a message to Tina. 

Blaine: I've never seen so many dicks in my life

Queen T: Sorry can't relate 

She's useless.

Blaine: This isn't funny. I'm in an ocean of dick

Queen T: A sea of penis. A sea-nis if you will

Blaine: I won't

Queen T: Aw Blainey Days. Are you traumatised? I can come and make you some breakfast 

Blaine: Yes please 🥺

Queen T: OMW

[kayhi808]

Challenge Accepted

You and Billy have have a long distance FWB relationship for almost a year. You're a Consulate Coordinator out of Washington DC, but you travel to New York frequently for meetings and events at the United Nations. It was at one of those events that you met Bill Russo, Owner & CEO of Anvil, a military contractor. You frequently attend the same parties and conferences and he continually seeked out your company. Absolutely gorgeous. Overflowing with charm and carisma, intelligent, sucessful...the total package. However, after agreeing to leave with him, he was very clear about not being a relationship kind of guy. Which was fine with you, you two didn't even live in the same city. So it was maintained that if he was in DC or if you were in NY, you'd get together.

You and your new co-workers were leaving, The Campbell, a bar hidden in Grand Central, after spending Happy Hour there. You were at the bar settling your tab when someone leans up against the bar beside you. You notice that he does a double take when he looks over at you, "Y/N??"

Surpised, "Billy. Hi." He wraps an arm around your waist & pulls you in for a hug and a kiss. His lips always make your heartbeat stutter.

"What are you doing here? Did you tell me you'd be in town?" He pulls out his phone, looking for a missed call or text.

You shake your head & extract yourself from his arm. "No. No, I was meaning to, but things got so busy & hectic...." you trail off with a weak laugh.

He looks a little confused. You really enjoy each other's company & it wasn't just about the sex. He was comfortable around you because you weren't after him for his money. You'd tell each other everything. You both felt safe in confiding in each other because you weren't involved in each other's day to day lives. You're together for 2-4 days and you don't see each other for another 2 months. "How long are you going to be in town?  We can get dinner."

"No, Billy. You don't need to..."

"Hey. What's wrong?" He grabs your jaw turning you to him so you can't avoid his eyes.

"I should have called & told you sooner, but I didn't know how. Remember I told you about the promotion I was up for?" He releases your jaw.

"Yea, when I called, you said you didn't get it."

You bite your lip & nod, "Right. Well, they called me in later & offered me another position. I'm here. In Midtown, at the UN now."

With raised eyebrows, "You...you moved here?" You see a glimpse of awkwardness cross his face, which is what you were trying to avoid. You could have called or texted him and that would have been that. "That's great!" By the look on his face, it was anything but great. "Congratulation, babe."

You nod, "Thanks, Billy. Um...my friends are probably waiting for me. I should go."

"Right. I'll call you later, we can go out to celebrate."

You hear the falseness in his voice. You were about to play along, but changed your mind. "Billy, don't." You sigh, "I think this is why I didn't tell you. Me moving here, kind of ruined our arrangement. You won't call me later & we won't celebrate."

Bill tries his charming smile, "Y/N..."

You stop that, too. "Don't make it weird, Russo. It was fun while it lasted." You give him a quick kiss and leave. You hope you pull off the nonchalance that you were aiming for and not the disappointment you were feeling. You had your doubts but you had hope to keep him as a friend.

*****

It's been 2 weeks and Billy still can't get you out of his mind after seeing you at The Campbell. He can't believe you moved to New York without telling him. Not that you owed it to him. You were not in a relationship. You both went out with other people. He had to admit he liked the fact that no one you went out with, kept you from him. He was convinced that they meant nothing to you as long as you returned to him. But now it seemed like you didn't want to see him at all. It shouldn't be, but that's fucking annoying!

Arriving at an event at The Soho Grand, Bill leaves his car with the valet and enters the hotel. Before reaching the ballroom, he passes the hotel bar and notices you sitting at the bar. Who the fuck is this guy?! A guy sets a drink down in front of you. Bill makes his way over to you.

*****

It takes a while for you to notice Bill stalking towards you. He looked upset. You hop down off your bar stool, "Hey, Bill." You don't know why but you felt the need to get between Bill and your new boss. You place a hand on Bill's chest, "I didn't know you'd be attending tonight." Your hand stops Bill in his tracks his eyes focused on you. You step towards him, pushing him gently back.

"Yea, we haven't been great with sharing info lately, huh, sweetheart." He looks over to the man you were with & extends his hand, "Bill. Bill Russo."

"Sorry, Damien Carter, Securities Director at the UN, my new boss." They shake hands while you give Billy a pointed look & frown, but you smile at Damien. "Bill is the owner of Anvil. We're old friends."

"Great to meet you. Anvil. Y/N's been telling me great things about Anvil. You were just awarded a government contract if I'm not mistaken. Congratulations."

"She told you about that? Yea, I'm excited for it. It's a big step for the company."

Damien turns to you, "I've got to make a quick call. I'll see you upstairs." You nod. "Nice meeting you, Mr. Russo, we'll talk soon."

Bill raises his hand in a wave & you punch him in the ribs. "Ow!"

"What the hell was that?! You trying to get me fired so I have to go back to DC?"

"Just looking out for you. Thought he look suspicious...ow!" You punch him again and he laughs.

"He's my boss! And even if he wasn't, you have no say in who I see." You see Bill's eyes darken as his head tilts. You turn, leaving him at the bar.

Challenge accepted, sweetheart.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend

[soupwife]

there is a major part missing from this discussion about whether or not we owe our walking around money to the various gofundmes and paypals and cash apps that float around on this website every day. and that is that people LIE. people lie all the time. It is easy and free to come on here and say, I'm broke and marginalized and you should give money. My baseline is that I don't believe anyone and I frankly don't understand why some of you guys are so trusting. There are ways to give to mutual aid that do not involve tossing $5 to every random tumblr user who says they're late on their electric bill. I recommend getting involved in your actual physical local community for starters.

Is everyone lying? No. But I have zero way to tell who is and who isn't and neither do you! unless you have actually met or talked to this person face to face you Do Not Know Them.

So to be like "how can someone spend $8 on Tumblr when I've seen all these blogs begging for help for months to no avail." Well. Because I was never going to give money to a stranger in the first place. Sorry.

[honeybeewhereartthee]

PINK KKOMAS KOHAKU OUKAWA 83

spoiler for my stories

In another place in kkoma, at sea, Blood and Doll location. They walk too a street seller shop with a guy wearing hoodie and a sun glasses, in winter.

Doll:... You look shady.

???: You look cotton, you probably can't float.

Doll:... I can swim!

???: Everyone would sink one day. That's why...

Suddenly show suspicious looking potion bottles.

???: Those are made from the leading expert of swimming, which is the lord of serpent, sea and envy! You'll be breathing under water without needing oxygen! You don't even need to have this diving gear either!!

Doll: that's sounds like crap --

Blood, takes out wallet: sure, I'll take some.

Doll: hey don't buy stuff--

Sea, takes out pocket and raise pocket and point at the bottle and show 10 finger and 4 tentacles: 'buy'

???: Wow a sale! Then I shall give discounts! How nice! It be--

Doll watch as those two brought a very shady stuff from the weird guy. But hearing his voice he sound familiar.

???, Shows another set of bottles: We also have other stuff, like changing your form and voice! Good for disguising and stealing someone identify! It's made from the everlasting magic of Solomon!

Blood: hmm, u will buy some too. But do you have other items?

???, Takes out new stuff: of course! We have lots of stuff. From material normal things, nor easily found things, human body, souls, lord of Lust lipstick, and even the copy of book of the dead. Among other things as well.

Blood:... Oh my...

Doll: what the hell. What kind of shop is this?

??? Guy press the switch and the shop name

"Crazy Boutique of Underworld"

Glows yellow and black.

???: Kokoko. Welcome to my shop, I do hope you guys put some sells for today income!

Soon the person poofed and before them stood an Oni-- a purple eyed Punisher Kohaku Oukawa.

Purple: since we all share the same name. Cal me Purple, I do think punisher is good but it's bad for business.

Doll: the fuck. A business man me.

Purple: honestly. If you live in my au. Crazy:b do some bizarre odd jobs. We haunt some haunted house, held a site for people who will die in few days, or demon realm dark web twitch live as well many others.

Doll: why are you telling us this.

Purple: demons aren't often believe by others cause they lie like how often they breath. Being honest to goodness is my motto to be top demon in my team... Through, I can't be compare to the other three(・–・;)ゞ. I do my part. So it's still good.

Blood: ooh. Then blood nii will adopt you! I will buy all your stuff!

Blood proceed to take out a credit card. Purple went to pack the stuff.

Doll: the fuck. How are you rich.

Blood: hmm, the currency in this world is connected how wealthy we are back in our own world, what we spend here would minus to our credit back in our own world. An odd system, but it mean we can make money too.

Doll:... Your rich?

Blood:.... ( ꈍᴗꈍ)Am I? I do own a 666 x 666 KM property and I am very much favor by my world to give me stuff like gold and stuff that no one cares about. I guess. (ㆁωㆁ) You could say that. But other spider have their bill too. I'm the "youngest" so I have my money cut to my limit.

Doll:

Purple, who is back with a bag: thanks for doing business! Hope you all come back!

Blood; okey! Since your a pink kkoma-- too, come visit us sometimes... When we're awake

Doll: what

Sea: >.> The guy went to our house sometimes at night. When everyone is asleep.

Doll:

Purple: I was busy in morning and night is pretty much the morning for us demons. I do apologize. But you don't have to stab me with a knife. You know. Ahaha.

Blood; I apologize it's a bad habbit. (ㆁωㆁ)

doll who cannot believe anything his hearing:... What the fuck. ヘ（。□°）ヘ fuck. I will not question shit anymore. This getting nowhere.

Purple: still, thanks for the sale!!

Blood: your welcome! Come to our house ok?

Purple: ok. till next time!!!.

[survey--s]

543.

Have your parents ever tried to control your relationship? No.

Have you ever had to give someone directions before? Sure, loads of times. I lived in a tourist village for ages and people were constantly asking how to get to various places, lol.

Speaking of which, are you good at understanding driving directions? I’m better at following road signs than reading a map.

How many people do you text daily? Maybe 2-3 people, but that includes text, WhatsApp and Messenger.

Do you have an iPod or an MP3 player? Which brand? I use my iPhone for music.

What was your favorite television show as a child? Arthur, Barney, Smurfs, Teletubbies.

Do you play any instruments? Which instruments do you play? Not anymore, but I used to have piano, recorder, cornet and guitar lessons.

Is there anyone who you call by their last name? Not anymore.

What did you do on your last birthday? It snowed pretty badly - I had a couple of cat visits to do and we got takeaway but otherwise that was it.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most? Sloth, for sure.

Has anyone ever told you that you're incapable of whispering? Yeah, definitely. 

What is your least favorite subject in school? I always hated maths.

Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? No.

Do you know a couple who constantly sucks on each other's face? Bleugh, no, thankfully not.

Who was the best kisser you've ever dated? My husband or Joshua.

When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? Yesterday. I watch quite a few TV series on there that I can’t find anywhere else.

Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? No, just toddlers and up.

How many times a week do you usually see the person you love? We’re married and live together, so everyday, multiple times a day lol.

When was the last time you held someone's hand? I have no idea, I’m not a fan of hand-holding really.

How many meals have you eaten today, so far? Two - cereal for breakfast and a jacket potato for lunch.

Do you think it's stupid for people to call others "hot?" No.

Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? It can be if you check all the references properly.

Are you someone who listens to more girl or guy bands? A pretty even mixture of both.

Have you ever shopped at Wet Seal before? Did you like it? We don’t have that store here.

Do you care about spending money if it's someone else's money? I’m definitely more cautious if I know someone else is picking up the bill.

What is your favorite Disney movie of all time? The original Alice in Wonderland. 

When you were a child, did you ever want to become a wizard/witch? No.

What are the color of your walls? Do you want to repaint? The walls in this room are red and grey, the kitchen is cream, the bathroom yellow, the spare room is green and the bedroom is pale purple. Our bedroom, bathroom and kitchen all need repainting at some point.

Would you rather have hardwood floors or carpet? I love the look of hardwood + rugs but living where we do, carpets make much more sense as it gets so cold in winter.

Do you have any siblings you neglect you? I don’t have siblings.

Who would you say is the most selfish person you know? No-one in particular is coming to mind right now.

Who was the last person you yelled at? Why? The dog for eating cat shit lol.

As a kid, did you ever go to camp? Yeah, I had to go to day camp most summers and I absolutely hated it.

What were the last three movies you watched in theaters? I haven’t been to the cinema for years lol. The last film I saw was Cats but I can’t remember the ones I saw before then.

Have you ever made out in a movie theater before? Sure, loads of times.

Are you currently trying to learn to play any instrument? Nope.

Do you believe in ghosts, spirits or demons? I don’t believe or disbelieve in them.

When was the last time you went somewhere you thought was haunted? Never.

What is your favorite breakfast meal? Poached eggs on sourdough toast with avocado and bacon OR American-style pancakes with butter, maple syrup, bacon and blueberries.

What does the lead singer of your favorite band look like? Dead, lol.

Who was the last person to compliment you? I can’t remember, Suzy maybe?

How old were you when you got to go on your first date? Fourteen.

Would you call your parents over-protective or under-protective? My dad was definitely over-protective, my mum got the balance about right.

Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? Sure. I remember our local garden centre had one of those for some reason and my dad used to take me there on rainy weekends a lot.

What is the best movie you've seen in the last five years? I honestly couldn’t pick just one.

Has anyone ever called you a good kisser before? Sure.

Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? No siblings.

Are you the jealous type? Everytime I’ve experienced jealousy it’s been for a valid reason.

Does life ever seem overly ironic to you? Ha, definitely feels that way sometimes.

When was the last time you felt like you were high on life? I honestly don’t know.

Do you know someone who cares about themselves more than their child? Yep, lots of shitty parents out there unfortunately.

Do you still watch cartoons on television? I watch The Simpsons but I don’t really watch any kids cartoons.

What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? The nearest Taco Bell is hours away - I’ve never been.

Is there anyone currently annoying you? Just how humid it is. It’s giving me a headache.

What's your favorite hairstyle you've had so far? Meh, my hair doesn’t really do decent hairstyles lol.

Do you have freckles? I have a few on my nose and cheeks, but they’re not very noticeable.

How many dogs do you have, if any at all? One.

Have you ever witnessed someone being beaten up? Yes.

Do you think biting is weird or sexy? I mean, it depends on the circumstances.

Would you rather be called hot or beautiful? Beautiful.

[babeydoll]

this!!!! i live in a city with a rly well known homelessness problem and the amount of people who think the issue is the homeless people themselves rather than the fact that there are people who are suffering is insane. any time people visit from out of state they always have some nasty shit to say and it drives me up the wall. that and if it’s ever someone who actually lives here who’s complaining about homeless people (everyone always claims to have had one very traumatic story with a homeless person that apparently gives them blanket permission to be assholes about it forever*) theyre never actually from the city, theyre from way out of town or again, another state entirely. its just wild to me that people will go out of their way to come here just to spend so much of their time complaining that other people’s suffering annoys them, personally

not to mention how many of these people are very close to being homeless themselves!! i’ve had people complain theyre struggling to pay their bills and shit talk homeless people in the same breath, like......dude. thats you. give it two weeks and a single stroke of bad luck and you’re also living on the streets.

i’m autistic and i struggle with being empathetic because it just isn’t always possible for me, but even i can manage to look at this stuff from a purely objective perspective and still treat people like people! crazy! even if you don’t care on a personal level (which you should, if you can, because thats the kind thing to do and g-d knows people who are hurting deserve kindness), it isn’t hard to understand that people going through bad things does not make them bad people. yes, even if theyre doing bad things, like drugs, because unsurprisingly, going through tough shit makes you upset and irritable and susceptible to doing/saying/thinking “immoral” things. i get crabby and am act like a bitch if i skip one meal, and thats something people could sympathize with, so why not someone who hasnt eaten in days?? wealthy people do drugs and its fun then, but poor people do it and its trashy. this whole issue could be solved if folks remembered homeless people are people

*also, interestingly, ive lived in this city my whole life and have never had a problem with a homeless person on an individual level. i know so many people who have claimed to have been harassed, or assaulted, yelled at, attacked, etc, and its always people who rarely actually go downtown– but me, as someone who actually lives here, has had ONE (1!!!!) strange experience, and it wasnt even that bad (a guy grabbed my hand and held it as he asked me for money. literally not a big deal at all, all i had to do was wash my hands after which is hardly a traumatizing thing to do). am i really supposed to believe that people who have been here a dozen times in the past 10 years get harassed every single time??? i wont call every single person a liar but i’ll be damned if theyre all telling the truth

[heyitsjooooanne]

My father gave me an attitude and the silent treatment because I… [checks notes] offered him an alternative to something that he wanted

Ugh.

Just another day with my father being unhinged AGAIN.

How unsurprising (not really).

But let's rewind a little bit here.

On Sunday night (so yesterday), he called me over, asking for a flashlight to use. He wanted to use my mom's new flashlight because he said the light on it was really good.

I suggested he use the flashlight on his phone, because it's usually really good and bright, plus he'd been giving her an attitude and the silent treatment for a dumb and petty reason for a week now, so I wasn't really comfortable giving it to him (although I didn't say this out loud).

He insisted on getting her flashlight and when I told him I was just giving an alternate suggestion he said he didn't want me to say it and I told him that I'm gonna say it anyway.

BOOM!

That was all it took.

He swore in English under his breath and I left the room to get my mom's flashlight.

When I came back, I tried telling him that I had her flashlight, but he said "I don't wanna talk to you!" like an idiot with an anger problem.

Wait…

Why did I say "like"?

He IS an idiot with an anger problem.

(Not sorry. He gets no sympathy from me for making me feel anxious my whole childhood and making me feel tense and terrified now. From what I know, he had a traumatic and lonely childhood and was raised in a Spanish country in the 50's so basically toxic macho central. But still no excuse.)

So now he's not talking to me and my mom because he can't control his own disappointment over silly things.

-_-

It should also be noted that I never actually told him "no" (although it wouldn't have mattered if I did), I just offered him an alternative.

Me standing my ground and saying "I'm gonna say it anyway" is what drove him over the edge.

And you know what else really frustrates me about him?

Ever since I was a teen he would always tell me "control your emotions."

But he's the one who doesn't know how to regulate his emotions.

Seriously.

I still have this vague memory of him spilling a full cup on to the kitchen counter because he was upset with my mom over something.

Compare that to me in situations that stress me out where I either:

a) rant to people I trust (or think I can trust) through speaking or chat

b) write it down when I can't talk to anyone about it (like now, but I'll definitely be sending this post to my friend who is, of course, a young woman like me since it's hard for me to trust guys/men in general)

c) take a deep breath and try to stay calm

or

d) sob about it in private

And he has the nerve to make my mom pay his car repair bills while he's out spending money on Lottery tickets.

Yep.

He gambles money (instead of saving a little every month for emergency expenses) and then complains that he has none.

Funny how I barely have any money, yet, I never spend over my own limits.

But if I merely suggested he save his spare money instead of spending it on Lottery tickets when he's in a BAD MOOD?

Ooh, boy.

And my mom tried to justify it by saying we need a car, but now I'm not so sure she believes that anymore.

But yeah, just another thing to add to his long rap sheet.

X - emotional child/adult abuse X - physical child/adult abuse X - volatile personality/prone to fits of anger X - threats of violence and/or bodily harm X - gambling X - financial abuse

No wonder I'm so depressed these days.

[furmity]

Within ten days the work next door was having problems. This is my landlord- neighbour. For that reason, I find it pretty delicious.

I know he's doing it without a permit. We did not receive formal notice, just a casual word over the fence. We were told it "wouldn't take too long" and he "wouldn't take down the fence" but he "might need our driveway". He told us he was extending the bathroom. Actually he's converting another room into a bathroom, which is a much bigger job. The room which is closest to our front door. So many people coming through.

He has a big house which is very irregularly shaped, you can see it's been added and added to. I recently looked at the council map for our block and it shows he's moved our back fence to give himself a veggie patch without whatever permission you need to do that.

He's not a good landlord, and he squeezes as much money out of us as he can. He is the rental crisis, my other neighbour told me he owns half the houses on the next street but he still saw fit to increase our rent by $170 a week (increases it every year). Our house is crumbling, but we've paid for him to have a new bathroom!

I lived my first winter in here without heating. It took two years to replace the stove after 3/4 of the elements stopped being adjustable. Our bathroom has salt damp or something and a mould problem (no heating in there and the exhaust fan isn't efficient, the bathroom never fully dries in winter), it could really use a renovation...

I know in my heart he's probably claiming his bathroom renovation is occurring here for tax purposes. Meanwhile our house looks like this:

Yes! There's bars through our walls holding them together! Cracks you must see to believe! CHUNKS of cornice falling from the ceiling! (and since all kinds of dust, leaves, possum shit, and giant spiders as well!). We're getting close to needing an engineer over here!

So about a week ago we started to hear commotion. The workers are fed up! "This isn't what we quoted for!", "This isn't my job!", "Fuckin hell Bill! We didn't talk about taking the fence down!", "You get the fucking plumber back and figure it out!".... I'm usually above eavesdropping but I sat behind the shed to let the barrage wash over me. Fuck him up guys!

He won't leave them alone. I don't know what he did for work before a life of exploiting the working class, but he's absolutely an expert in whatever they're doing. Always out there, talking over them. Something's been redone (which made for a return of the stone- cutter). More of that appalling glue smell. I know he had to do a bit of digging himself last weekend.

May his hubris flounder and fail! May the bills rack up and up and up! May the rain fill his trenches and the workers give up! May he spend the winter with only that flimsy tarp to keep the cold out of his corridor! May he have to resort to that plumber he sends round here (who threw a bunch of sewage down the side of our house and left it)!

Fuck my fucking landlord! I will get out of this house!

[anyu-blue]

~

Honestly... as always... I'm exhausted. It's grown so much I've stopped fighting for my health aside from just trying to manage pain where I can. I'm tired of being the only one who cares and has any sense of responsibility, but then has to use my energy to push back and fight people who should be caring along with me.

I'm often right about these things... not as a brag, but as a "guys the evidence was right in front of you the whole time, WHY was it such an issue that you refused to see it/make me force your eyes open?" Thing... and I just .. can't. They don't want to listen to me. They want anyone BUT me to set them straight about it, ignoring my track record of being right and worthy of being listened to.. Idk why. They've even mentioned I'm not insufferable about the information, but that they just don't get it/believe me. And, honestly... that's worse.

I'm at the point of burnout, I'm consistently contemplating leaving my job and trying to disappear. The thing stopping me is getting caught and putting pressure on people because I'm no longer financially contributing/need them to pour money into a program or something.

The sad thing is... my sisters could get along just fine bill-wise without me. They're just so BAD at money they think they're poorer than they are. I don't have a choice but to watch them pour hundreds of dollars into one video game- literally buying everything that comes out in microtransactions, hundreds into pre-made and/or fast food because they don't want to learn how to/deal with cooking or meal prep, hundreds on name brand food/items (when the 'knock offs' are made at the same location), hundreds and hundreds in NEW games and merchandise whenever its something remotely interesting/aesthetic, and they refuse to set a budget for just about anything...

All of this frankly overzealous spending had my sister freaking out about a cost she KNEW was coming... and didn't save a dime for... and even knowing she didn't HAVE to save (our father was paying for it in full), she was still freaking out so much she decided to take it out on me.... I had to explain it to her in full why that was wrong, why she was going to be fine, and I had to do it all while being careful not to upset her MORE.

...

And then after it was WAY less than she worried it would be (and her own paycheck would have covered it) she then paid for it with our father's money... and took her own to spend hundreds at gamestop "because she was stressed."

I'm.

I'm not making this up. It sounds like these two are those clueless, spoiled, bratty blondes... and truthfully... they are.

They're both good people where they can be. Beloved by family, friends, and coworkers alike... and yet they're so irresponsibly IGNORANT... and i'm the only one who sees it... and has to put up with it. And I'm still the bad guy for constantly being stressed and/or not giving them tons and tons of praise... because people don't know I pick up after their irresponsible asses.

It's like this with many things... their own health, the places we rent, the car we have, the things we need... it falls on me to know and do because they don't want to. They legitimately have refused to learn and take any of these burdens on.

And people wonder why I only work 3 days a week... and seem to be starting to be incapable of that too.

Through all of this... even working only 3 days a week... I was able to save hundreds.. nearly a thousand.. I still have a few hundred left to my disposal after giving money to our grandparents right before our grandfather died a few weeks ago... after having paid for a trip almost in-full by myself (little sister gave me a little money afterwards)... after buying myself a bed I desperately needed.... all while paying off debts for surgeries.

Hundreds. I have saved HUNDREDS. On my meager pay.

Yes, of course, my sisters include me in the food/necessities they buy... but the sad fact is that if they DIDN'T, I'd STILL be able to save AND have more at my disposal than they would... AND they'd still come to me for help paying for other things!!! How do I know? I've been buying more for myself as of late... food I want, clothing/necessities I need, stuff I want on occasion... and still... I have a few hundred left. More I can and do set aside each month if i keep up with all 3 days a week at work. It's not a lot, but over time it adds up. And they do ask me to get stuff for them too.

*sigh*

If they set budgets for themselves... if they didn't impulsively buy so much shit they don't even use or need... they'd already have thousands. THOUSANDS... at their disposal. EACH.

Preferably, in my mind, for these basic life costs... for their healthcare that don't even try to care about, maybe... for the bigger and better things they complain about not having... not being able to do... and relying on me for... like trips/experiences (they're REALLY fucking rare-- and it's worth noting the trip I paid for was actually tiny. A few nights at a nearby hot spring location. Trips don't have to be BIG, but they can't/won't try for even the small ones... let alone the ones they want and then complain about not getting.. oi...)... like care for our animals.... like stuff to make life easier (gosh i want a dishwasher to help with my ocd issues and dishes... but I'm not buying one when i constantly have to worry about those two being dumb and needing financial help T^T)

*double sigh*

I'm just so exhausted all the time.

This isn't even getting into the rest of the emotional toll brought on by constantly being called worthless, treated poorly, tending to issues, and not having support in the areas I need it most as an Autistic person just trying to stay alive/level.

If I did have the support I needed... I know the absolute wreck I am wouldn't be such a wreck and I COULD do my dishes regularly instead of reusing the same items... could put away all my clothes in my dresser. Could organize my shelves. Could vacuum and clean and do all the stuff people think i should be doing the rest of the week when I'm not working... not just when absolutely necessary/I have a very rare day of just enough energy.

I hate my life in so many ways. Not trying to be a brat... but I really do.