#can you act like adults and not 13 year olds

[omgfangirlland]

The Shadows That Nurture 6

Enjoy Chapter 6! Ch8 will be a look into what has been happening in Ghotam and Ch9 will probably follow the first episode of Invincible.

We're slowly approaching the main timeline age, so if ya'll want a specific character to make an appearance or would like to see a specific plot line this is your time to speak now or forever remain silent /j

Masterlist || First || previous<< Chapter 6 >>next

He is crazy- he can’t just- He-!

You couldn’t even know where to begin telling what happened. One moment you were relaxing, enjoying the sun, living the dream- and then this old, 6 feet and 2 inches of pure muscle, alien-man thing just up and kidnaps you. Omni-Man kidnapped you with a simple “Hello, kid. Let’s go home.” You were more shocked than angry, to be honest, the man was just spewing nonsense as he flew you across the states.

Now, Nolan wouldn’t call it kidnapping- why, he’d never! He was just- cleaning up the streets, helping a homeless kid, even though he knew where she lived- it was adopting without all the other steps!

He was meticulous in his watching, not stalking, but watching, observing. When Cecil first called him, bringing to his attention a mysterious flying person coming and going from NYC, he was ready for a villain, an alien preparing to overtake NYC, anything but a tween kid shakily flying, almost hitting buildings and nearly being taken down by other flying heroes.

He knew she was no threat; he told Cecil as much- but he kept coming back. Something kept making him come back, just to look, to make sure she didn’t hurt herself or others- he kept telling himself. He knew deep inside why he came back every day for a year, it was the same reason why he married Debbie, it was the same reason why he couldn’t bring himself to hate his son.

Sure, she was living well, but the food she ate, if she remembered to, wasn’t sustainable, she needed home-cooked food, she needed socializing and training, she needed- she needed a family and stability. Nolan took the initiative to pack her bags and everything in her little apartment and move her into his and Debbie’s house, in the room next to Mark’s. And then, he took her.

You didn’t put up much of a fight if one at all, but really what could you say or do when Omi-Man has deemed you his and his wife’s kid, the man spoke of her highly, his son too, but still- He kidnapped you, you wouldn’t just stay- “And Debbie is making this roast beef with baked potatoes-“…

Some would call you weak, others would say you can be easily bought, but this was the greatest roast beef you had tasted in a long while. “This is amazing food, Mrs. Grayson.” You could play along for a while. The woman just smiled and thanked you, insisting on you calling her Debbie. The offer of ice cream made you sure you could play along for a long while.

She wasn’t initially happy with Nolan coming with a random kid under his arm, but one look at your disheveled appearance and wide eyes made her rethink everything. A daughter wouldn’t hurt, two kids would make the house happier, and you reminded her of those scuffed up little kittens, she didn’t have it in her to let you go without a meal at least.

Over dinner, you answered every question they threw at you, from your name to Mark asking if you like comics, but when they asked your age, you just shrugged. “Around 13-14? Can’t quite remember, I haven’t celebrated my birthday ever, mom just told me how old I was and then-“ Your body went rigid.

You were telling too much, getting too comfortable- but, maybe this was your chance at a true family. Can’t back down now, you could always just leave if you really wanted. The two adults understood as soon as you tensed up, Debbie immediately acting as her hand soothingly rubbed at your shoulder and back while they let you decide whether to continue or change the subject. “She died when I was five.”

She smiled at you softly, apologizing for prying and giving their condolences, something not even Alfred did. All Nolan saw was an opportunity to grab you and never let go, to give you what the father that clearly wasn’t in the picture never gave.

Mark just grabbed your wrist, a sad frown on his face. “I can share my parent with you. I know I’d be sad if mom or dad were gone. We can be siblings!” His bright smile was contagious, making you smile just as bright before your hopeful eyes met Debbie’s. She was sold a while back, as soon as you called her pretty while calling Nolan a bum and asking how she had the misfortune of marrying a brute, making the man grumble as he sat you on the couch, your hopeful glance just set it in stone.

Despite having a room all to yourself, you wanted to push. They were different to the Waynes, that was clear. They were warmer, talked to you, and it all felt so much better. So, you wanted to test the water by asking Mark if he’d be willing to share his bedroom with you tonight, not wanting to be alone. Not when you had the opportunity to soak in any attention they give you.

The boy was excited to have a sleepover in his room, eager to show you all the comics and toys he had- and neither Debbie nor Nolan could say no. Not to two pairs of puppy eyes. The adults were sure this weakness to saying no wouldn’t last… Hopefully.

Spending the night with Mark was amazing, it was everything you thought Dick and the other would give you. He showed you all his comics, letting you read all of them, and as the night settled and the stars were high in the sky you taught him about them. In the end, you both fell asleep in the pillow fort you made, comic books lying open around you. Your plans of escape quickly went out the window, this family thing with them felt like it was worth trying. You liked NYC, but maybe Chicago is where you belonged. And if the adults heard you two giggle and fuss around all night, they didn’t say anything.

By next week you were a Grayson, thanks to Cecil’s string-pulling. Looks like Nolan knew exactly what to say to make the man agree.

Tag list: @bat1212 @trashlanternfish360 @shycreatorreview @syrooo @a-lurking-fae @alittletiredcry @kittzu @plsfckmedxddy @blackhood1229 @nxdxworld @leeiasure @dandelion-delusion @lovebug-apple

my greatest fear is misspelling a name and tagging someone who has never seen this 🫠

[dramas-vs-novels]

I was going to say I want a job that pays me to write smut and play animal crossing, but then you had to go and mention juggling male egos

Yeahhhh.

That's... That's the obnoxious part...

[reasoningdaily]

The devastating impacts on reproductive rights and individual lives after the fall of Roe continue apace.

One study showed that as early as five years old, society perceives Black girls as “less innocent” and “more adult-like” than their non-Black counterparts, placing an unfair expectation on them to act more maturely.

The latest high-profile account to detail the gut-wrenching effects arrived in Time this week. The story—”She Wasn’t Able to Get an Abortion. Now She’s a Mom. Soon She’ll Start 7th Grade”—centers on Ashley, a 13-year-old girl from Mississippi who in the fall of 2022, according to her mother, was raped by a stranger in her yard.

The assault resulted in a pregnancy that she was unable to terminate because of the strict abortion bans in Mississippi and its bordering states, each enacted after the overturning of Roe. Ashley’s mother, Regina, told Time that she didn’t have the resources to take her daughter to the nearest clinic hundreds of miles away in Chicago.

This story, recounting Ashley’s trauma and highlighting the many systems that failed her, is an incredibly difficult read. But one line has especially stayed with me:

“One nurse came in and asked Ashley, “What have you been doing?” Regina recalls. That’s when they found out Ashley was pregnant.”

This is the question a nurse chose to ask when confronted with a Black child in clear distress, who had shown up to the emergency room unable to stop vomiting.  Not “What happened to you?” or “Are you okay?”

The nurse reportedly asked a 13-year-old child, “What have you been doing?” It’s hard not to see the suspicion and implicit blame in the question. That culpability, deployed with equal amounts of derision and judgment, is something that I and many other Black women and girls are all too familiar with. 

Victim blaming reaches people of all races. But Black girls stand at a uniquely horrifying intersection where both gender and skin color are weaponized against them.

One study showed that as early as five years old, society perceives Black girls as “less innocent” and “more adult-like” than their non-Black counterparts, placing an unfair expectation on them to act more maturely.

In 2017, Georgetown Law’s Center on Poverty and Inequality reported that participants in a study perceived Black girls as needing less nurturing, protection, and comfort than white girls. These virulent misconceptions, of course, can be traced back to historically racist stereotypes about Black femininity. GLCPI wrote:

“These images and historical stereotypes of Black women have real-life consequences for Black girls today. According to [Jamila] Blake and colleagues, “these stereotypes underlie the implicit bias that shapes many [adult’s] view of Black females [as] … sexually promiscuous, hedonistic, and in need of socialization.”

The results of this adultification are pervasive. Black girls are often punished more severely in schools and the criminal justice system than their white peers. The ripple effects can be found all over popular culture.

Huff Post’s Taryn Finley attributed this societal perception as a key reason why R. Kelly, whose accusers were primarily Black women and girls, was able to remain successful despite allegations of child sexual abuse surrounding him for several decades. And they can be found in questions like, “What have you been doing?”

Girlhood is a delicate period. It should be a time for crushes and school dances, not confronting the dark realities of misogyny and racism. It’s time for society to allow young Black girls to be girls, instead of forcing them into becoming women. Not ask, like the nurse in this story, “What have you been doing?”

[kiyo-cant-write]

ciel & sebastian w/ servant!reader around ciel's age ✧･ﾟ

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Hello! My writing blog was always meant to be multifandom, but recently I have had many twst requests. To keep up with my personal interests, here is a Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler post about my childhood bias/crush (when I was 11-12): Ciel Phantomhive.

While this post is tagged Sebastian x Reader, their relationship is platonic in this particular work because of the reader's design.

Please note that while requests are open, they will not be posted until after the 27th of December or more accurately into the new year (January 2025). Feel free to request anything within the parameters of my rules, but keep this scheduling fact in mind! Thank you!

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Summary: [Name] is a recent addition to the Phantomhive Staff, gathered by Sebastian and Ciel. They are around Ciel's age and this leads to some... shenanigans.

TW/CW: canon-typical darkness, manga compliant

Notes: pre-relationship (Ciel), explicitly platonic (Sebastian), the reader is human, the reader is 12-13 years old, they/them pronouns for the reader, take place explicitly pre-Campania

Guest Stars: Phantomhive Staff, Elizabeth Midford (mentioned)

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Ciel Phantomhive

Ciel is initially indifferent to [Name] similar to his feelings toward his other servants about half of the time (even Sebastian).

He doesn't see himself as a child so does it matter?

He honestly tries to avoid [Name] at first because he wants to be seen as an equal to the adults. Baldo commenting to "play" with his "friend" really doesn't help the early stages of the relationship.

Being persistent but not forceful will work well.

[Name] needs to prove their worth and use in the household.

[Name] will quickly prove themselves with "clean-up."

They will kill in the name of Earl Phantomhive.

Ciel notices their willingness to serve.

He admires their dedication to protecting him/the estate.

He is impressed if they do not hesitate to strike.

The more he realizes their use and loyalty, the more likely he is to speak to them or even allow [Name] to speak freely with him.

He doesn't like when Sebastian teases him for it, though.

Sebastian might be the biggest obstacle.

If Ciel feels that [Name] is being overbearing, they get sent to spend time with Finny (16) who is also relatively close in age to them. Though Finny is similar to a child brother at times.

Once they are closer, Ciel may become a bit irritable if [Name] gives Finny too much attention or coddling.

"He needs to act his own age."

Ciel cannot do anything about any possible feelings.

[Name] hesitates to do anything either.

They both understand the betrothal between Elizabeth and Ciel.

Finny had given them a suggestion that they weren't sure what to do with. Was it a good idea? No. Was it a curious one? Yes, indeed. They wanted to know what the master's response would be, but they feared it would only be anger for their disrespect. Still... tempting.

[Name] considered their options as they helped Finny in the garden.

"Do you really think that would be a good idea?" they asked him.

Finny nodded as he attempted to gently weed the garden. The last time Finny did this he ripped out some important plants and Sebastian had been ready to skin him. Since that happened, and after the events of last night's clean-up, maintenance was needed and Sebastian chose [Name] as "Finny Watch."

[Name] accepted it as it was.

"I think it would do the young master some good to have a friend his age who calls him by name! He doesn't have any friends..."

Finny seemed sad about it. [Name] wondered why Finny did not try to be a "friend" to their master, but Finny seemed to sense their curiosity. He shook his head.

"It can't be me, I'm older than the young master for one," he explained, "And the young master doesn't think of me like that."

"And he thinks of me as a friend?" [Name] chose to ask.

Finny nodded.

"I can tell he thinks differently of you!"

The gardener beamed at them and they didn't want to crush whatever whimsy and joy this was giving him. They sighed and gave in, knowing they wouldn't hear the end of it otherwise, especially after Finny told Baldo and Mey-Rin about it.

"I'll try and see," they agreed.

[SEVERAL HOURS LATER]

At the end of the day, Sebastian asked [Name] to report to the young master directly about their supervision of Finny and the state of the estate's gardens. [Name] walked into the room and bowed to their lord, nodding to Sebastian a moment after.

"Good evening," they spoke, not making eye contact with either.

"Good evening, [Name]," Ciel greeted, taking a sip of his tea as he watched them, "I trust you kept Finny under control?"

[Name] nodded.

"Yes, he took care of replanting and weeding. There were no, ah, plant deaths," they explained in as succinct a way as they could, "We talked as we worked and completed everything Sebastian told us to."

They had to ignore the soft stifled laugh that came from Sebastian when they fumbled for a phrase and chose "plant deaths."

"I see, very good then."

He seemed pleased. The master was in a good mood? Hm. This might be their chance so they took it without hesitation.

"Master, if I may speak freely for a moment?" they asked him

Ciel raised an eyebrow but he nodded slowly after a moment of contemplation.

"You may but whatever about?"

[Name] felt bad for confusing him but it was somewhat refreshing to hear the master speak without that underlying darkness in his tone.

"Finny suggested something to me. I would like to try something," [Name] explained, hoping this wouldn't ruin whatever relationship they did have with the master.

"Something. Very specific," was Ciel's comment, "Go ahead."

Ciel seemed certain [Name] wouldn't hurt him and even if they tried, Sebastian would handle them swiftly like he always did.

"Ah, thank you for your permission... Ciel."

There was a silence that fell over the room as neither child spoke. Ciel was frozen in place, Sebastian seemed to be holding back another laugh, and [Name] was unsure if Finny's theory was true.

A faint hue of pink dusted Ciel's cheeks as he averted his gaze.

"Was," he began, "Was that all you wanted?"

"Yes," [Name] admitted, "I'm sorry, sir."

Ciel was silent once again and [Name] worried they really had crossed a line, but then he spoke again, softer this time.

"It isn't as though I care what you call me when there aren't guests around," he said, waving the hand that wore his family's crest, "Do as you like with the estate's image in mind... I suppose."

[Name] couldn't disguise the smile that took over their features.

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Sebastian Michaelis

To be quite frank, Sebastian thinks children are brats.

He didn't want another child around but it cannot be helped because [Name] is useful for the estate's security.

Despite not liking them at first, Sebastian is always "nice."

He is never without a polite smile, it's a bit unnerving.

As [Name]'s work proves proficient, he eases up.

They make fewer mistakes than the others.

Because of this, they are not so annoying to him.

"Child, you would do best not to hinder my work. But if you would like to lend me your help, you may."

He refers to [Name] more often as "child" or "littlest one."

He means they are the youngest of the servants.

He often lets [Name] off easy with punishment, similar to how he never scolds Tanaka the way he does with Baldo, Mey-Rin, Snake, and Finny.

Sebastian likes to make fun of [Name] and Ciel's similar ages.

He allows [Name] to sit in for Ciel's lessons at times.

In the end, Sebastian might be fond of the human.

Still, he won't say that kind of thing. What use would kind words be from someone like him? He doesn't much care for anyone.

He is bound to his master until the end of their contract.

That is all. Right?

"What in the world are you doing?" Sebastian asked as he came up to them, essentially appearing from thin air.

The young servant jumped at the sudden voice in the silence of the cellar and whipped around to face him, dropping their cleaning rag on the floor in the motion. Noting it was Sebastian, they let out a relieved sigh and bent down to pick up the rag.

"Sebastian! You startled me!" they told him, brows furrowed, "Why do you like to sneak up on me like that?"

Sebastian chuckled softly, a slight smile playing on his lips.

"I don't mean to. Perhaps you are just easily scared, child?"

"I don't think so," they said softly before they moved to continue their task, "And, I'm not done with this task yet. Did you have something else for me to do?"

They couldn't believe they had more work to do now. That was always why Sebastian came to see them, to give them a task someone else had botched or enlist their help with something else entirely.

"I did," the butler told them, "I seem to require your help with a lesson for the young master."

[Name] paused.

"A lesson?" they asked him, giving a skeptical look though they tried their best to mask it, "Would I be expected to come with you now?"

They were unsure if he was telling the truth. Sebastian enjoyed messing with them, just a little. But it was enough to make [Name] wonder every time the butler told them much of anything. They wanted to go to the lesson, though. Learning was... fun.

Sebastian noticed the look, being a demon and all, but said nothing about it. Instead, he simply nodded and smiled at them as he always did to the guests the manor received.

"Indeed. I would need you to accompany me to the study."

They weighed their options. Sebastian was probably not lying.

"Alright," they agreed a moment later, "Do I need to finish this task first? You did give me a list of things to make certain of here."

Sebastian shook his head.

"No, that won't be necessary. I will take care of it."

They almost bowed to him but caught themself. It was hard to treat Sebastian as a butler when he held himself with as much pride as any man would. Still, the one time they had spoken too highly of him, the young master had gotten upset with them (and Sebastian too).

It had been an... ordeal.

"I see. Thank you, then," they told him curtly though they couldn't help but smile.

A lesson! How fun! They wanted to cheer but didn't.

Even if they were only cleaning the room to spectate, it was a chance to learn things. They would learn something and earl was learning! It seemed like a fairly good deal in [Name]'s opinion.

Too focused on rushing to put away their supplies and head toward Ciel's study, they did not see a softer expression adorn the butler's face as he watched them move past him.

Perhaps they would never know his true affection for his littlest one.

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Imagine the rest yourself~

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Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are appreciated! Do NOT repost my writing/headcanons as your own >:c Check the top of my blog for the inbox status and read the rules before requesting. This is not a kuro-only blog! ^^

[nariko-senpai]

I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO SHIP CIEL AND SEBASTIAN FROM BLACK BUTLER!

There is so much wrong with this ship and I have a full LIST of reasons why you are disgusting if you ship it.

1. CIEL IS A MINOR. HE IS 13. I don't care that he acts like an adult sometimes or that he's emotionally mature, he is thirteen fucking years old.

2. Sebastian is like a thousand years old. He's ancient. Enough said.

3. Sebastian cares about Ciel mainly because of the contract. I'm not saying that's the only reason, but Sebastian is mainly with Ciel so he can munch on his soul and have some fun before he finds a new contractor. I do believe Sebastian might have grown more attached to Ciel, but at the end of the day, Sebastian just wants his soul ¯\(ツ)/¯

4. I'm aware that there are rumours that Black Butler was going to be some gross hardcore yaoi series, but the author changed it. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF THERE ARE SOME REMINENTS OF WHAT BLACK BUTLER MIGHT'VE BEEN, THEY AREN'T A SHIP.

5. There is next to no evidence that they will/are canon. Fight me on this.

6. Some people say it's because the series is old and the people who used to read this were desperate to be with Sebastian or Ciel whoever, and tried to ship them to feed their own dreams but SERIOUSLY. Get a life please 💀

7. Ciel doesn't have a romantic chemistry any characters apart from Lizzy, and he doesn't even seem overly interested in her ngl 💀 And again, he's 13 let the kid just be a kid.

8. The series is most likely never going to go down a romantic path. It's about demons, mystery, and crime fighting. There's a lot more but those are BASICALLY THE MAIN THEMES. not romance.

I could think up so many more, but my fingers are sore from typing. Don't get me wrong, I'm all here for platonic sebaciel because I find their dynamic interesting, but pairing the characters romantically? 🤮

[joltai-showa]

still thinking about Obito's tendencies to hang upside down so why not talk about something even more funny

now Obito is obviously trolling the Konoha squad in that moment, acting like a complete idiot and weirdo and all, usual stuff for Tobi. Obito is being a weird little bat on purpose, it's all an act

you know who among Akatsuki, a very scary and a totally serious organization, also acted like a weird little bat, but without it all being an act?

allow me to introduce you to the final page of chapter 238

Kishimoto, why is Deidara's first appearance is him being upside down during Akatsuki's zoom meeting?

(which is supposedly the first one in 7 years since Orochimaru ditched them, but whatever, no fucking way these guys can remain semi-organized without a good old online meetup, I do not care for canon's opinion when it conflicts with my funny headcanons)

But seriously, it's been almost 10 years since I read the manga for the first time and there's still no explanation as to why Deidara did that LMAO. Logic dictates that it's simply Kishimoto not finishing up the designs for his new villains (rinnegan's design wasn't finalized until, like, Akatsuki Supression arc, I believe? there's someone TOWERING over Kisame who is 195cm already and at the end of the day remains Akatsuki's tallest member, etc etc), but I've got a PhD in overthinking Naruto details and turning them into shitposts that sometimes also turn into fanfiction, so I will take this one tiny detail and make myself laugh until I cry.

To me this moment is just so precious because it's actually a scene from OG Naruto, meaning that it's pre-timeskip, so Deidara here is only 16. And this just proves to me that Deidara's puberty (there is no exact indicator as to when Deidara was abducted recruited into Akatsuki, but I assume it happened sometime when he was 12, because during his recruitment we see Itachi (and we know that he joined Akatsuki after the massacre, so he was 13 and he's got a 2 year difference with Deidara), Kisame (who, judging by his pre-death flashbacks, joined AFTER Itachi, meaning some time had to have passed since the massacre) and Sasori (who wouldn't have a partner after Itachi joined because Orochimaru just couldn't resist trying to get that Sharingussy, but Akatsuki don't operate on their own in general, so I doubt Sasori would have been left without a partner for a long time, a year max) and during this zoom meeting 16-year-old Deidara speaks like he's very much aligned with Akatsuki's goals and grudges which would be very weird if he joined them against his will just recently, so a year or more would have to pass between Deidara's recruitment and the OG Naruto zoom meeting) was arguably one of the worst things that organization as a whole had to go through because teenage Deidara was JUST BUILT DIFFERENT.

Don't mind the fact that even as an adult he starts tweaking if he doesn't get to explode something every few hours (I would imagine that teenage rage and angst would only exacerbate this issue), but he would also just want to "look cool" and wouldn't listen to anyone in any position of authority AT ALL. Going back to this scene of Akatsuki's zoom call, we can see (and for certain characters assume because once again designs here are kind of wack) that these overly serious members like Pain, Konan, Kakuzu and Sasori are PRESENT and just... don't do anything about Deidara's antics? They just gave up at some point LMAO. And a while ago, I presume.

16-year-old Deidara, proud and puffed up as a lion: You can stay on the ground as boring old men you are, but I'm going to hang upside down today, hm!

Pain, the acting leader of this very serious and lethal organization that for some reason took in a 13-year-old and a 12-year-old because, I dunno, the real leader thought it would be funny, sighing: okay, Deidara...

I also don't believe that it was ever specified how Nagato's zoom jutsu works, but I think Akatsuki's members simply sit in whatever position they want and their projection is different from their actual position which means that. yeah. Deidara does a bat cosplay. because he wants to. baby why are you like that.

but I also like to imagine Deidara actually hanging on the ceiling during the meetup and the gang just going

Pain: Sasori, can't you grab a mop or something and swat him off of there?

Sasori, in the most dead inside voice imaginable: you are not paying me enough to do that. in fact, you would not last a minute in the asylum I'm living in. you can't give me 40 minutes of peace, can you?

honestly props to Onoki for finding a way to both continue using Deidara's skills for his goals (by just fucking paying Akatsuki and calling it a day) and keep the village intact, teenage Deidara just seems like the trial version of what Akatsuki members could expect on their missions. like, if you can't manage the stress of dealing with the (pony)tailed beast, you have no business trying to fight an actual tailed beast.

I'm also thinking that adult Deidara aka Shippuden Deidara would think himself really cringe for doing this shit when he was younger and feels kind of embarrassed in front of the other members (who unfortunately besides Hidan were there to witness his cringe bat phase of growing up in your local terrorist daycare organization), so he's pretty quiet during the zoom meetings when we get properly introduced to him.

That's, of course, until Deidara gets partnered with Tobi.

I can imagine the two of them competing who can last longer hanging upside down and now Pain really can't do anything to stop this bullshit because it's his actual boss and his clueless partner making their own bat nest during their zoom meeting. He just tiredly glances over at Konan who gives him a "I told you Yahiko was right and we shouldn't have joined forces with this guy, but when do you ever listen to me" look.

The gang would be discussing something like Kakuzu and Hidan brutally murdering Asuma (who's Obito's classmate btw and whose mother he already killed a while ago) and trying to steal his corpse to sell for some cash and in the background above them Tobi'll be yelling something like "senpai, watch what I can do" and start turning cartwheels on the ceiling.

tl;dr Obito and Deidara match each other's freak when it comes to doing weird shit for no apparent reason other than to fuck with everyone while on the job. thanks for coming to my TobiTalk

[clownin44]

Not to demonize Ben's parents,

BUT, if someone like MAVERICK can admit the adults in his life failed him, I can too.

This drives me insane.

I have SO many questions.

Why did Shane want Ben to be in his group? Yes, he's tall and intimidating, but surely he's not the only one in their grade who fits that description. How long did this go on for? Aiden said It happened "every day," but how many days is that? How come Aiden literally can't remember if this happened in 6th or 7th grade? Where did the bullying take place? At school? How did he leave the building with those injuries without an adult noticing that something was wrong? How come his parents didn't say anything to the school board when their son came home, covered from head to toe in bruises? And if they did, why was nothing done?

"Clownin44, that's a little harsh. Give them the benefit of the doubt!"

He (11-13 year old boy) was sneaking out of the house, coming home late, and getting into STREET fights. The main and only reason he stopped was because he put his family in danger, and while I understand you can't help someone who won't accept help, they had EVERY opportunity to help him before it got to that point. He is a child. They are his parents. What if Ben never fought with the young boy whose older brother was in a gang? How long would this have gone on for? I don't know if you know anything about street fighting, but experience matters. This wasn't an act of rebellion. This was incredibly dangerous.

The worst part about it all is that Shane got what he wanted. Sure, Ben didn't join his group, but he did "fix" what he thought was wrong with Ben and inadvertently taught him how to fight. He wasn't expelled for putting him in the hospital. He wasn't expelled for bullying him or for getting his "group" to gang up on him, too. Shane was still in school by the time Ben recovered, and he would've continued to go to school with him if he hadn't moved in with his aunt and uncle. The entire thing was a disaster from start to finish.

Now, consider this; Ben has a younger sister he is incredibly protective of that he doesn't get to see very often. He physically can't be there for her if she ends up going through the same things he did. How can he trust that their parents won't fail her, like they failed him?

side note; the fact that we don't see Ben interacting with his parents, while Lily is basically racing into his arms, hurts me so bad. ARE THEY NOT CONCERNED? DO THEY NOT MISS HIM? DID I MISS A PANEL OF THEM OR SOMETHING? GOSH!!!

I get that it might not be that serious, and we never got to see how his parents handled the situation, so maybe they really were just doing their best, but I had to rant about this because I'm sooo sick and TIRED!!

[badkitty3000]

Can you write Five (adult body) getting with a gorgeous woman for the first time and going on a bit of a power trip and just extreme edging and playing with her and kinda humiliating (actions not words)

Sorry this took a bit longer to write...I got a little carried away with this one and it ended up being longer than anticipated. But I loved this idea and I got very excited about it!

I decided to write this from Five's POV. I still consider this a reader-insert because the MC is not named. But there is no use of "you" in it, only "she" and "her".

Thank you so much for this request. It was really fun to write! 😽

Tamed

Five x Reader One-shot, 8143 words

Warnings: Smut, Edging, Physical age difference (older woman, younger man), everyone is an adult

I sigh heavily as I survey the shelf of cereal in front of me. I mull over my choices, humming quietly along with the Neil Diamond song playing on the grocery store speakers overhead. Wheaties, Grape Nuts, Cheerios. I wonder what the fiber to protein ratio is on these? God, I’m bored. Is this really my life, now? It’s true that I wanted a peaceful life without the threat of the world ending or the people I know getting obliterated and dying. And it was nice for a while, don’t get me wrong. I liked not having to worry about my family, now that they were all safe. And I didn’t need to act as a cold-blooded serial killer anymore. I could just be the normal man I had always wanted to be. But I’m beginning to think that normal equals boring.

I have my powers back, so at least there’s that. As much as I wanted a simple life for myself, that doesn’t mean I wanted to be just like everyone else in every way. Those years of having no powers were a downright nightmare, so thank Christ that didn’t last. So, yes, I can blink and time travel and kick the living shit out of almost anyone, but it’s still all so…ordinary. Most days I just wander around the city, enjoying the peace and quiet, but also wondering what to do next. There has to be something else, right?

I am still in the body of a much younger person, despite being mentally in my 60s. Physically, I’m around 20, and while I’m definitely not complaining, it has left a lot of years ahead of me. It has also complicated the dating scene. In the beginning, I had to wait it out a few years, and let me tell you, it’s rough being a horny old man in a 13 year old body. And a horny 13 year-old with the mind of an old man. But I did end up getting plenty of handjobs, so there’s that. Unfortunately, they were all self-executed.

But now…now, I am starting to reap more benefits of this strong and youthful body I found myself dumped back into all those years ago. Women notice me. Men notice me. And the attention is not half bad. It still leads to another dilemma, however.

Let’s say I would like to indulge in some adult activities with a woman. I have no problem finding someone to fill that role. That makes me sound like an asshole, but it’s true. On my way into the store today, I noticed a young woman looking me over like I was a piece of meat. I’m fairly certain that if I had wanted to, I could have strolled on over, struck up a conversation, and had her back at my place in an hour. I know this, because I’ve done it before. But afterwards, I feel like a real creep. They don't know my real age, obviously, and unless they have some unresolved daddy issues, I’m guessing they would be none too happy to find out. Not to mention there’s usually not a whole lot for the two of us to discuss. So, I ignored this most recent prospect and am now standing in front of a line of breakfast foods before heading on over to the soup aisle. 

I sigh heavily again.

“If you get the bigger box, it’s actually more economical, you know.”

I glance up, Fiber One cereal in hand, to find a woman standing next to me, the amusement on her face giving the impression that she’s up to something crafty. My mouth opens partly, but no sound comes out. She is maybe the most stunning woman I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m talking supermodel-gorgeous. With her dark auburn hair and dramatic curves, I can’t stop staring like there’s something wrong with me. And here’s the real kicker: she’s probably in her mid-forties. Finally, I find my voice.

“Nope. I have a coupon, so…the smaller box is cheaper,” I offer, shaking the box in front of me with a smile. As if what I just said is a real panty dropper.

She nods, still smirking, and then I see her light brown eyes slowly move their way up my body until they’re back at my face again. One of her eyebrows quirks up playfully, insinuating she might like what she sees. She’s not even trying to hide it. 

“Shouldn’t you be buying Lucky Charms or something?”

I let out a small laugh and run a hand through my hair. “Do you mean, shouldn’t I be buying a kid’s cereal instead of something your grandpa probably eats?”

She shrugs. “Something like that.”

“Let’s just say my outward appearance is not a direct correlation to my mental maturity.”

She puts a hand on her hip and eyes me up and down again. “Is that so? Well, they say age is just a number, right? As long as that number is 18 or older.” She gives me a wink.

I almost keel over into the oatmeal, but I keep my cool. I return her flirtatious come-on with my own, flashing her a slanted smile as my gaze travels over her amazing body. I figure if she’s not going to be subtle, neither am I. 

“I can assure you two things. One, I am safely past that number. And two, if you need further proof, I’d be happy to demonstrate that I am most definitely not a kid.”

She lets out a breathy laugh and I pride myself on the fact that I may have flustered her.

“Cute and confident. I like that. Unless it’s all talk, of course.”

I cock my head to the side, a smug smirk on my face. “One way to find out.”

The corner of her mouth turns up, amused with this little game. “And what way is that?”

“Why don’t I whip it out and show you?”

I may have actually shocked her, because her eyes widen for just a split second before her devious grin is back. “Right here in the cereal aisle?”

I nod, and then reach into my pocket. I see her eyes wander down to my crotch. Then I pull out my wallet with a flourish and hold it up. She laughs loudly and genuinely, while I pretend I don’t understand, furrowing my brow in confusion.

“I was talking about my I.D. to show you my age. Did you think I meant something else?”

My face breaks into a grin and I put my wallet back. She smiles again. “Very clever. You must have a pretty big brain to go along with that handsome face.”

This a total, obvious set up, so of course I take the bait. “I haven’t had any complaints on size,” I answer, looking her dead in the eye.

She pauses for a second, as if mulling it over. Then she nods a little. “Hmmm,” she says, her pink lips pressed together. Without another word, she turns and starts pushing her cart down the aisle, away from me. I watch a little sadly, even though the view from behind is spectacular. I feel like I need to say something, so I call out.

“Aren’t you even going to give me your name?”

She doesn’t stop, but she answers back over her shoulder. “For now you can just call me Mrs. Robinson.” Then she pauses and turns to look at my stunned expression. “And if you understand that reference, then I hope we run into each other again very soon.”

I watch, dumbfounded, as she turns down the next aisle and is out of sight.

“Fuck,” I exhale out loud. Then I look down at my box of old man cereal and frown. “Of all the things I could be holding, did it have to be something that advertises the benefits of fiber? Couldn’t she have caught me with some wine or a goddamn box of magnum condoms?”

I glance up after I drop the box into my shopping basket, just as another woman passes by. This one, however, looks to be about 90 and is using a walker. Her confused look tells me there is nothing wrong with her hearing though, and she caught every word I just said out loud to myself. I smile, embarrassed.

“There’s good coupons in the ad today. Might want to check it out,” I offer.

She gives me a terse nod and she’s off, probably to buy the same cereal as me, and I head toward the check-out shaking my head at my dumbassery.

Five days later, and I’m back at the store. This isn’t my first trip back, hoping to run into the beautiful woman again. After learning through the way of the kid at the check-out that first day, I found out her name and situation. Apparently, she is quite the cougar on the hunt. At least according to Brad the bagger. She picks out a new piece of young, clueless arm candy at least once every couple of weeks. Even one of the stockboys in the back was chosen at one point. The stories he told the other guys at the store were legendary. She likes to be the teacher, and show them how to do things right. This is all hearsay, but I’m inclined to believe it after our little back-and-forth the other day.

She doesn’t know what I know, though. And that is the fact that I don’t need a teacher. I do things right the first time. And I do them pretty fucking well.

The woman has gotten under my skin. She is the excitement I have been looking for. And her age and my age, in this situation, aren’t a problem. It’s perfect, actually. So, each day since that day I saw her, I have been dressing in my black, three-piece suit and going back to the store. I look around, doing a few loops until I’m certain I’m not missing her, and then I buy some random item so I don’t look too suspicious. A carton of milk, a toothbrush, a stalk of celery. Brad the bagger has me figured out, though, and he gives me a lopsided smile that I know means “Better luck next time”.

This time, though, when I make my way down the frozen food aisle, I stop when I hear a voice from behind me.

“How did that cereal work out for you? Did you get enough fiber intake?”

I smile to myself before turning around. I put my hands in my pants pockets and spin on my heel, facing her head-on. She’s just as fucking gorgeous as the first time I saw her. Maybe even more. The tight, white, button-down shirt she is wearing is sleeveless, and I can see she is wearing a black bra underneath. It shows off her toned, tanned arms and just enough of her cleavage to make it interesting. The small shorts she has on are hugging her hips just right and those eyes of hers are framed in dark lashes that blink slowly as she looks me over. 

“Yes, actually. I think I got all of my nutritional needs met, thank you.”

She nods. “Nice suit.”

“Thanks.”

“You know, I wasn’t really sure I’d be seeing you again, but I’m glad we ran into one another. Must be fate.”

I nod. “Must be.” Then I give her a grin. “I definitely have not been coming here everyday hoping to run into you.”

Her eyebrows raise in surprise. “Well, you’re not very subtle, are you? I never did get your name.”

“Five Hargreeves,” I say, extending my hand.

Since the reset, the Hargreeves name lives on. If you bear the name of my adoptive, world-dominating father, that automatically means you are special. We all have powers and everyone knows it. But the Umbrella Academy as a team has ceased to exist, even in people’s memories. So, she doesn’t know who I am and it just sounds like I have a number as a name for no reason. Some of my siblings have changed their names to try and start over with a clean slate; hiding their powers from the rest of the public. Not me. I’m too old and set in my ways. Besides…I could have picked a different name a long time ago and chose not to. No use in doing it now.

“Hargreeves? So, you’re one of them?”

She takes my hand in hers to shake it, leaving it linger just a little too long. Her question isn’t accusatory or judgmental in any way. She only sounds curious.

“I am,” I answer, but I don’t follow it up with any detail.

“So what can you do?”

Her question is obviously about my powers, but I’d rather keep our little game going.

“Many, many impressive things.”

She gives me a half smile and nods her approval. “Five huh? Interesting. Well, my name is not actually Mrs. Robinson, as I’m sure you figured out. It’s –”

I interrupt her. “I know who you are.”

“Oh really? Am I that famous around here?”

“Seems that you are. You have quite the reputation.” I pause. “In a good way.”

She smiles coyly again. Then she turns to the glass doors of the freezers that are lined up against the wall. She opens the door and reaches in to grab a bag of vegetables, a white cloud puffing up around her from the cold. When she closes the door again, she turns to face me. I glance down at her chest. The cold air has caused her nipples to harden and are clearly visible through her tight shirt. She sees me notice and lets me stare for a few more seconds before dropping the bag into the basket looped over her arm.

“Since you’re here, would you mind helping me with something?” she asks, brushing her hair over her shoulder.

Her question jolts me out of my little daydream of running my tongue and teeth over those delicious looking peaks and I rub the back of my neck.

“Of course.”

She points back at the freezer. “Can you reach something on the top shelf for me?”

I nod and she opens the door, the blast of cold air hitting us both in the face. We’re standing close to one another now and I can see the fine wrinkles at the corners of her eyes and around her mouth. It somehow makes her look even sexier.

“What do you need?” I ask. She’s a couple inches shorter than me and I look down at her.

Her eyes don’t move off of mine when she answers. “I need some sausage.”

I almost laugh directly in her face, and I can see she is trying to hold it together, too. But we’re both having too much fun to break now. I glance up to the top shelf and sure enough, there is a box of breakfast sausages. I put my hand on one of them.

“These?”

She shakes her head. “The big one.”

With a giant grin, I grab the bigger box and pull them down. Then I close in on her, until we’re so close her perfect tits are practically rubbing against my chest. I see her take in a sharp breath.

“That’s the one,” she says with a nod. “Just put it in my basket. If it will fit.”

“Don’t worry. I can make it fit,” I say as I smirk and look down at the almost-full shopping basket.

There’s a small opening along the side and I push the box into it, shoving it in to make a snug fit.

“See? Perfect fit,” I assure her as my hand brushes against her bare arm. “You just have to know how to slide it in.”

We stand there a second longer, our bodies so close I am having a hard time not pulling her in and fucking her into the frozen tater tots. The ridiculous innuendos are making us smile, though, and pretty soon we’re both laughing. Her laugh is nice and I like hearing it. It feels good to laugh with someone.

“So, Five…do you still have more shopping to do?”

I look down at my empty hands, then back at her. “Nope. I got what I came for.”

With another thoughtful nod, she sets her basket on the floor. “You know, I just remembered I left my wallet at home, so I guess I won’t be able to pay for these.”

“That’s a shame. You probably shouldn’t be driving without a license, either. Maybe I should take you home.”

She reaches out and slowly pulls my tie out from inside the vest of my suit, running two fingers down the silk edge of it before dropping it again. 

“Well, aren’t you such a nice young man? You must have been a boy scout.”

I shake my head and put my hands back in my pockets, trying not to moan directly in her face from her touch and the way she’s looking at me. “Not exactly.”

She shrugs and turns around, walking away. Apparently, I am supposed to follow her like an obedient little puppy. And I will for right now. I can play this game, too. I’ll let her think I’m some dumb kid that doesn’t know how to work a vagina and will cum all over her hand the first time she touches my dick. But she doesn’t know I’m about to prove her very, very wrong. I exchange looks with Brad the bagger, who is giving me a thumbs up, as I follow her out the doors.

I lead her to my car, and she stops when we reach it, surprised at what she’s seeing.

“Wait, this is your car?”

“Why? You don’t like it?”

She shakes her head. “No, no, it’s great. It’s just I wouldn’t have guessed you’d be a Corvette Stingray guy.”

I walk around to the passenger side and open the door for her. It’s a nice day out and I have the top down. It’s also freshly washed, so the blue paint is shining. I watch her legs and ass as she slips inside onto the leather seat, and I close the door gently. When I cross over to the driver’s side and get in, she looks over at me with a smile and it doesn’t even feel awkward. We know what we’re doing, so there’s no need to try and pretend something else is going on here. 

“Where to?” I ask, turning the key in the ignition. The car roars to life.

Once she gives me directions, I peel out of the parking lot, rounding the corner at top speed and head out onto the main road. I like to drive fast, and when I look over at her, she is laughing; her hair blowing behind her in the wind and the sun shining on her face. Seeing her happy and excited like that makes me feel good. I kick it into fourth and whip around the cars in front of me.

We arrive a few minutes later. She lives in an unassuming house in an unassuming neighborhood. When she unlocks the door and lets me inside, I take a look around. The house is clean, tidy, and tasteful. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this. Maybe leopard print sofas or a sex swing in the middle of the living room. But, no, this is very much a normal looking home. 

“Please, make yourself at home,” she says, gesturing to the living room we’re standing in before walking into the open kitchen that is right next to it.

I shrug off my suit coat and do away with my tie, laying them across the back of an armchair. I unbutton the top couple buttons of my shirt and roll up my sleeves as I join her in the kitchen.

“Would you like a beer?” she asks, her hand on the refrigerator door.

I can’t stop staring at her, and I’m dying to see that body that I know is fucking gorgeous under those clothes. But, I wait.

“Actually, do you have any scotch?” I ask.

She looks surprised and then she tilts her head. “Yes, I do. I have damn good scotch, in fact.”

“Great.”

She points to a cabinet. “In there. There’s glasses just to the left.”

As I turn to open the cupboard, I say something about how I’m impressed with her choice of booze. I pull the stopper out and fill two glasses halfway.

“Most of my guests don’t appreciate good quality scotch.”

I hand her a glass and take a sip from my own. She’s right; it’s damn good.

“I’m willing to bet I’m not like most of your usual guests.”

She eyes me up over her glass and shakes her head. “No. So far, you’ve been surprising me.” She takes a drink and lowers her glass again. “So, these powers you have. What are they, exactly?”

This is the perfect invitation and my mouth pulls into a smirk. I set my glass down on the counter behind me. With no warning, I blink the few feet that separates us and I reappear almost on top of her, with my body brushing against hers as she audibly gasps.

I place a hand on the side of her neck, my thumb rubbing lightly across her cheek. “That,” I answer, before using my other hand to take her glass and set it down behind her.

I can see and feel her chest starting to rise and fall at a more rapid pace as she stares up at me, her lips slightly parted. I don’t want to wait anymore, so I lean in for a kiss. It’s soft at first, but when I feel her mouth respond to mine, it becomes more heated. Soon, I am pulling her to me with an arm around her waist. My hand is still on her neck, and I chance it by giving her hair a soft tug from behind. I hear her breathe in sharply through her nose and she presses into me further.

When we finally break away from one another, our heads still close together, we are breathing hard and fast. I push my groin against her so she can feel what she’s doing to me. I see a small smile form on her lips.

“Is this what you’ve been wanting from me?” I ask quietly.

She lets out a very soft sigh and closes her eyes before opening them again and pushing back against me.

“Among other things,” she says.

I nod before diving back onto her mouth again, hungry for more. Her hands run down my back and down to my waist, then back up my arms. I love the feeling of her hands on me and it’s getting me even more riled up.

I stop again, leaving her breathless. Without bothering with anymore questions, I rip her shirt open down the front, tearing the buttons apart until it’s fully open and I slide it down her arms, letting it drop to the floor. She doesn’t try to stop me and when I take a few seconds to admire the view of her magnificent tits in the thin black bra she is wearing, she gives me a smile. I run my hands over them and she tilts her head back.

“You’re fucking gorgeous,” I tell her. When she looks back at me, I raise one eyebrow. “But I think you already know that. Don’t you, honey?”

She gives me a small laugh. “Honey?”

I put my hands on either side of her waist and pull her in with a sharp tug and suddenly she’s not smiling anymore. But she is clutching at my shirt on my back.

“You know exactly what you’re doing with that amazing body of yours. And you like it when you have to show your little boy toys how to handle it, don’t you?”

She is looking up at me in surprise, her chest flush with mine and my dick grinding into her. She takes a loud breath in and her hands fall to my waist. Her mouth twitches up at the corner and she shakes her head.

“Damn. You figured me out.”

My hands find their way down to the front of her shorts and I start to slowly unbutton and unzip them, all while looking her directly in the eyes. I do not return her smile. I want her to know I mean business.

“That’s not what’s going to happen this time.”

I push her shorts down and they drop to the floor at her feet. Her small, black panties match the bra and I immediately want to tear those off, as well.

“What is going to happen, then?” she asks, still trying to maintain her air of coolness, but I can see I’m getting to her when she swallows hard.

I don’t answer, but I do drop to my knees in front of her and look up at her shocked face. I yank the panties down in one motion and she steps out of them. With one more look back up, I lean in and drag my tongue up her slit; slowly and deliberately, while she lets her eyes close and her head fall back. A soft whimper escapes her throat and her hips push subtly into me. She tastes so good, just like I knew she would, and I give her another long lick.

“We’re going to have some fun,” I tell her, before giving her a soft kiss right onto her sensitive mound. She makes another breathy noise above me, and I take that to mean she likes my plan.

I know she still doesn’t realize everything I am capable of yet, but she will. I have decided, as a personal challenge to myself, that by the time I am through with her she will be begging me for more. I’m going to ruin her so that she won’t even be able to think of anyone else but me. And I’m not going to stop until this wild cat is a domesticated house kitty, purring in my lap. The thought makes me grin salaciously before my mouth is back on her.

I don’t bother starting out slow. I’m eating her out, sucking at her clit and flicking my tongue over and into every crevice, all while gripping her thighs so tightly my fingers are digging into her skin. She moans out loud, and I push her roughly backward until she is clutching at the edge of the counter and her ass is up against it. I pull my face off of her just long enough for me to take a hand and slap the inside of one of her thighs. She looks down at me, startled.

“Spread them for me,” I demand.

She follows my instructions, widening her stance, and I go back in for more. I could eat this pussy all day, and I shove my tongue inside of her. Her slick is pouring out of her the more I work her over; coating my mouth in her delicious taste. The loud breathing and even louder moans I hear are turning me on and my cock is straining inside my pants.

“Fff…oh my g-ahhh…yes yes…ff-iii…”

I let out a tiny laugh because the sounds and words she’s saying make no sense. I can’t tell if she wants to say my name or curse, but either way I know I’m doing something right. I’ve got her brain all scrambled, which is what I was aiming for.

I keep going, fucking her with my hungry mouth while she gets more and more worked up. Her whines are becoming higher in pitch and she’s desperately trying to grind against my face. When I feel her hand on my head, her fingers laced in my hair, I know I’ve got her. She tries to push my face harder into herself.

“Five…keep going…more…” she stutters out, and I know she’s teetering on the edge.

Instead of letting her come all over my face, I immediately back off. She tries to pull me back in, but I don’t let her. I look up at her as I catch my breath, my mouth wet from her dripping pussy, and I love how fucking desperate and sad she looks right now.

“What…fuck…I was right there,” she pants, as if she thinks I made some mistake and I didn’t realize she was about to finish.

I shake my head slowly, like the smug asshole I am, and rise up until I’m looking down on her again. Her chest is heaving and she’s looking at me like she can’t quite believe what is happening.

“I know, sweetheart. That wasn’t fair, was it?” I ask condescendingly before giving her a kiss on her cheek.

She stares at me in disbelief for a second before one side of her mouth quirks up. “You were right. This is not how I thought this was going to go.”

I stroke her cheek and brush a piece of hair off her forehead. My movements are slow and gentle, and I’m taking my time. 

“But do you like it?” I ask quietly, before guiding her face to look at me with a hand on her chin.

She swallows nervously again, but that tiny smile is still there and there’s a hungry spark in her eyes. She nods.

“Yeah. I think I do.”

When she pulls me by my belt loops, hard so that my groin slams into her, I chuckle. “The more you want it, the more I’m going to make you wait.”

Her eyebrows draw together with frustration. It’s the first time she’s looked significantly younger than her age, and she almost appears to be on the verge of a temper tantrum. I can tell she’s used to getting her way all the time. I like teasing her, but I also don’t want to be that much of a jerk. Plus, holding out is killing me, too.

“How about this, I’ll give you a choice. I can either fuck you here, on the kitchen countertop; or we can go to the bedroom. Whichever you want.”

She makes a little gutteral noise in her throat and her eyes flutter close for half a second. She tries to push against me again, but I don’t let her.

“Bedroom,” she whispers.

I nod, pleased with her choice. There will be a bigger work area for me there. She takes me by the hand, leading me down a hallway. I know she’s a little embarrassed, because she’s completely undressed except for her bra, and I still have all of my clothes on. It further drives home the point that I’ve taken the reins here.

Once we’re in the bedroom, she tries to pounce on me again, but I gently push her back onto the bed. She doesn’t say anything, just looks up at me with those beautiful brown eyes and waits. I think she’s starting to understand the game now. As she watches, I strip off my shirt and pants. Then I climb over the top of her in nothing but my boxers. She immediately lies down on her back beneath me.

I begin kissing her again; hot, open-mouth kisses that have her shoving her tongue inside my mouth and pulling me down on top of her. I reach around to unhook her bra and throw that off to the side somewhere. Now she’s completely naked and I just have to take a minute to admire the view.

I raise up on my forearms, pulling away from her mouth, and look below me. Fuck. I’m not sure how it’s possible that I ended up with this absolute work of art that is dying for my dick inside of her right now, but here we are. It’s a goddamn miracle, is what it is. 

“Do you know how stunningly beautiful you are?” I ask sincerely, still not taking my eyes off her luscious curves.

This seems to make her a little flustered and I even see her blush a little. It has me thinking that maybe these dumbass toddlers that she’s been bringing back here haven’t exactly been as appreciative as I am. They apparently didn’t realize that they should have been worshiping her, not just fucking her and leaving. What a tragedy.

She laughs quietly. “Ok.”

“I’m not kidding,” I tell her, looking her in the eyes again. “You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever met in my life.”

When I say that, our eyes locked on one another, I can feel something click between us. A connection is made. I can see that she believes me and I’ve made her feel good about herself. But there’s something else there, too. Something I don’t know how to describe. But I like it.

“Thank you,” she whispers with a smile.

She reaches up to push my hair back off my face, and then she is pulling me down again with a hand on the back of my neck. I let her take the lead for just a second because it feels so good. My body is covering hers as we trade more deep kisses back and forth, and I position myself so that my hard cock is pressing between her legs. She moans into my mouth and opens her legs wider for me. 

I keep at it, rubbing up against her; the cotton fabric of my boxers creating a shield of friction between us, but she is still getting off on it. It obviously feels amazing to me, too, and I am honestly thinking of foregoing this whole orgasm denial thing I’ve got going on and just fucking her as hard as possible right now. But I don’t. I continue to rut into her as she presses harder and harder against me, jerking her hips up and digging her nails into my bare shoulders.

“Oh my god,” she whines next to my ear. “Please…”

I smile to myself, my face hidden in the crook of her neck. I give her a sharp bite that makes her squeak. 

“I love that you’re so needy,” I tell her, moving to the other side of her neck and sucking a bruise onto it. “I bet you never begged for someone’s cock before, have you?”

She doesn’t answer, probably because she’s either too focused on humping me or she’s embarrassed that I called her out. Either way, it’s a win for me. She keeps grinding against me, her actions becoming faster and more desperate. I can feel her hot, wet pussy with each pass over my dick, and oh fuck, it makes me want to lose my mind. I can’t even really believe I’m holding out this long, but I’ve made it this far I guess. Let’s keep this going.

As soon as she is completely lost in her own little world, eyes closed and hands clutching at my arms and back, I can see she’s so close to coming again. She’s making small grunting noises and whimpers as she rams her swollen clit against me. 

“Oh shit…oh shit…” she starts chanting and her grip on my skin tightens.

The grin on my face is extremely cruel as I suddenly move off her, sitting on my knees in between her legs. Her hips move up, only to meet nothing but air and her eyes fly open.

“What the fuck!”

Her eyes are wide and she’s breathing like a freight train. Her hips keep twitching just slightly, like they haven’t quite caught up to the rest of her body yet. She looks pretty pissed off and it’s adorable.

“Did you think I was going to let you get off just from grinding on my dick like that?” I shake my head, pitying her. “Honey…I thought you figured this out.”

“You are a bastard,” she fumes, her jaw clenched tight.

“It’s really hard to take you seriously when you’re wearing nothing but the marks I just gave you. You’re still so soaking wet for me I can see the evidence in a pool on the sheets.”

She’s quiet again and a soft blush blooms across her chest. I know it is killing her to be this vulnerable right now, so I decide to throw her a bone. Still resting on my knees, I pull my boxers down over my cock, letting her have a good look before maneuvering them the rest of the way off. I stay where I am and make her watch.

Taking my rock hard dick in my hand, I give it a few slow strokes while maintaining eye contact with her. She has propped herself up on her elbows and she’s practically drooling over what she’s seeing. I might not be porn star-level big, but in the scheme of things, it’s mildly impressive. At least, she seems to think so.

“Damn,” she rasps out before looking me in the eyes again. She is dead serious when she tells me, “I want you to fuck me with that.”

I laugh because I just can’t help it and even she smiles at that. I reach down and take one of her hands, pulling her up towards me so that she is sitting up.

“Come here,” I say gently, although my face is back to being serious. She shuffles forward a little and I grab her around the waist, positioning her so that she is straddling my lap while I stay kneeling.

The position makes my cock rub against her slit again, and she’s already trying to roll her hips into me. I let her do that a few times, mostly because it feels so goddamn good, but then I hold her still with my hands on either side of her waist.

“I know how badly you want this. And I’m going to give it to you, don’t worry. But you’re going to have to be a little more patient, ok sweet girl?”

My tone is patronizing and she doesn’t like it. But after a few seconds she gives me a small nod. I go back to kissing her, because I seem to not be able to get enough of her lips against mine, and I tangle my fingers in her hair. She groans when I give it a sharp tug.

Without pulling away, I move my hands back down to her hips and start to guide her. Very slowly, I move her body over mine, so that her dripping wet slit is sliding back and forth over my dick. I let out a long, low moan and tighten my grip on her. 

“Please,” she’s whimpering against my mouth again.

“Please what, sweetheart?” I tease, moving my lips to her neck and her shoulder while still keeping control of her pace on top of me.

“Please fuck me.”

It’s so pathetic the way she’s whining that I want to laugh. But I’m also pretty damn close to begging too, and I have to keep trying to focus on not letting myself slip inside of her just yet.

I shake my head, denying her request, but I do pick up the pace a little. I start moving her faster, until she’s grinding hard onto my shaft and I can see she’s just about ready to come again. 

“How do you feel, sweetheart? Is that good?” I ask softly near her ear.

She nods, her eyes still closed. “God, yes…so fucking good. I’m almost there…please.”

“I know you are,” I tell her.

She starts whining and moaning louder and grinding into me harder and she thinks I’m going to let her finally give in to her orgasm, but just as I see her start to tip over that edge, I use my strength to throw her off of me so that she is on her back again.

“Fiive…”

She draws my name out in a long, demoralized cry that is so sad and so pitiful, with her eyes that are pleading for me and her mouth open while she gasps for breath. Oh fuck…I need her.

This time I don’t tease or prolong anything. I’m hard as a rock and dripping with pre-cum and I need to be inside of her now. But there���s one last thing I’m going to make her do for me.

I grab onto her again, and instead of throwing her around, I use my handy spatial manipulation powers and blink us both into the position I want. This is always a risky move that could end with someone accidentally sailing onto the floor or my genitals being smashed into a pancake, but luckily I get it right. I land on my back and she is on top of me. She lets out a short shriek of surprise, but when she realizes what happened she smiles down at me.

“Ride me,” I tell her, not even bothering with an explanation of how or why I flung her through the vacuum of space. “Now,” I emphasize through gritted teeth, in case she was not getting the point.

She gets it, though, because it only takes her a couple of seconds before she is sinking down onto my cock until I’m fully buried in her tight sleeve, and holy shit, it’s the best thing I’ve ever felt in my life.

We both let out a loud moan from how amazing it feels after all of the anticipation. She leans back, grabbing my legs behind her for leverage, and she starts to rock her hips forcefully on top of me. I reach up to squeeze and mold each breast in my hands, watching as her beautiful mouth drops open and her head falls back.

Her movements are driving me crazy, but I still want more. I lower my hands so I can clutch at her hips again, but not before I slap her on the ass with a loud smack. That got her attention and her head snaps up again, eyes wide.

“Look at me,” I demand.

She does and I hold her gaze while I pump her body faster and harder on top of me. I’m pushing my own hips up against her, trying to feel as much of her as humanly possible, but I swear it’s still not enough.

“Fuck me harder. Come on, harder,” I tell her, and I vaguely wonder if I sound as pathetic as she did earlier. I don’t care. I’ll beg on my knees if I can get more of what I’m feeling right now.

She bites at her lower lip in concentration and nods at my request, speeding up her forceful thrusts until she’s almost all the way off of my dick before slamming back down again. Her tits are bouncing so perfectly and her face is flushed. I really don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to last when I look at her like that.

I’m starting to sweat now with how hard I’m working at trying to drill into her, and all the while I’m feeling that warm, amazing feeling in my lower abdomen that means I’m about to lose it. I see by her face and hear from her high-pitched mewls that she is close, too. I’ve got to dial it up a notch, so I move one hand off her hip and start vigorously rubbing her clit with my thumb.

That does it, and she starts thrashing erratically, head tilted back, while she wails like she’s in pain. I know she’s not though, because after another second her pussy is fluttering tightly around my cock and she’s screaming so loud I would be shocked if it weren’t for the fact that I’m also coming fast and hard.

“Fuuuckk,” I yell out, joining her shaking and shuddering body with my own spasms as I push her down as hard as I can manage while unleashing my cum inside of her.

It takes several minutes of loud panting and aftershocks, while she lays on top of my chest and I stroke her back. I’ve never experienced anything that intense before, but I really hope I get to again sometime soon. I finally start to slip out of her and she rolls off of me to lie next to me. 

I don’t know what it is, but there’s some weird connection between us, and I know she can feel it too. It doesn’t matter that I teased her mercilessly and stripped her of all of her control. I smile over at her and lean in for a kiss while trying to smooth her tangled hair down. 

“I wasn’t expecting this,” she says with a small laugh, and I know she’s talking about picking up a supposedly naive kid and having them rock her world, but it has another meaning too. She wasn’t expecting to feel like this. And neither was I.

I shake my head with a smile and trace her lips with my fingers. “Me either. But I think I could get used to it.”

“Me, too.” She pauses and looks a little nervous. “Normally I wouldn’t ask this, but…do you want to stay for a while?”

I don’t even pretend to think about it or try to play cool. “Yes, I’d love that.” When she smiles, she looks so relieved and happy, and I go in for another kiss. “Go get cleaned up and I’ll go grab our drinks. But I want you right back here in bed for me, ok?”

I was sort of teasing, but she smiles her gorgeous smile and nods her head. “Ok.”

Once we’re back in bed, with me propped against the headboard and her leaning against my chest, we gradually sip our scotch and I run my fingers through her hair.

“So, I have to ask. You don’t seem in any way like any other man your age. Why is that? How are you so different?”

I pause for a second while I decide if I want to get into all of that. But then I think, why the hell not? I like this woman and if she wants to know about me, I might as well start with the big truth.

“Well, get comfortable, because this may take a while.”

☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️

It’s a month later and I’m back at the same grocery store. I only needed a few things and I wait in line until it’s my turn to check out. As I watch my items get scanned over the red laser, Brad the bagger steps up to help out. He recognizes me and gives me a big grin.

“Good to see you, it’s been a while.” He takes a look around. “I haven’t seen her here in a while, not sure why. But, hey, did you ever seal the deal before? Me and some of the guys in back have a bet going.”

“Is that right?” I say with a sly grin. “Which way did you bet?”

Brad looks shocked like it could be any other answer. “That you did, of course! I saw the way she was looking at you; like the cougar caught her meal for the night.”

He laughs at his joke and I smile a little, just as my girl comes jogging up behind me to put a jar of olives on the belt before my order is finished.

“Here you go, honey, sorry it took me forever to find it,” she pants, slightly out of breath. “Are those the right ones?”

I smile down at her and nod. “Yes, darling, thank you.”

As she squeezes past me, pleased with my praise, I give her a small smack on the ass. She turns around and rolls her eyes at me before flashing me one of her pretty smiles that makes me want to melt onto the linoleum floor beneath my feet.

“I’m going to wait in the car,” she tells me, before giving Brad a little wave on her way past.

I swear, it looks like every bagger and stock boy in the whole damn store has now gathered nearby and are staring in awe at the scene they just witnessed. I pretend I don’t notice, but I can’t help feeling proud of myself and it’s hard to keep the smile off my face. As I am paying and taking my bag from Brad, I hear someone in the crowd whisper a little too loudly.

“Did you see that? How the fuck did that dude tame the cougar?”

I definitely can’t keep the smug look off my face now and I nod at the group of jackass kids on my way out the door. “Gentleman.”

Then I head on out to my Stingray, where my dream girl is waiting patiently for me.

[gazorninplat]

As much as I love Disco Elysium, I think I was not prepared for Sacred and Terrible Air. Of course, I was expecting to know more about the world of Elysium as a whole, and Robert Kurvitz is a very good writer, but the thesis of the novel (and how it makes its points) flash-banged me.

Disco Elysium this is not, and it wasn’t supposed to be, but I think I can understand better now what the team at ZA/UM was getting at with this specific setting, and these specific narrative angles. Kinda messy, because it’s been a week since I finished it, but here are some things I’d like to highlight: 

1. The pedophilia. I surely wasn’t expecting this to be such a central theme of the novel, but a lot of its main points revolve around it. The most interesting use of this, as a narrative device, is how the girlfriend of Jesper basically accuses him of being a pedophile because he cannot relate to the adults around him. He’s still obsessed with a girl he met when he was 13 years old, and fetishizes a scrunchie he stole from her bag two decades ago. Yeah, I guess Jesper, well into his thirties, is still in love with a 13 year old girl. His girlfriend is almost half his age, and they started dating when she was 15 years old and a lingerie model (!). Zigi mentions how pedophilia was a bougie disease, and well… That idea went right into my thought cabinet (I call it “Bougie Babies for Sale).

Still processing it.

Now, let’s go back to the rest of the main characters. With all this in mind, a pedophilic overtone covers their interest in these four missing girls, but Jasper is the only one who acts on it, sort of. Khan remains in a sort of arrested development (he still uses a shirt he had when he was 13), foregoing normal adult relationships, and Tereesz joins the police as an investigator with the idea of still finding them some day (essentially letting these eternally prepubescent girls define his entire existence), leading him to a very dark path. I wonder if the brutality they afford to the “actual” pedophiles in the story (Vidkun Hird and the Linoleum Salesman) comes from the realization that they are not that different?

2. Obviously, though, this fetishization of the Lund sisters is also a fetishization of the past. The novel states it in the first few pages; they disappeared twenty years ago, in a time that most conservative people remember as the “good old days”. Basically their version of the American Fifties. Now, being obsessed with the past is a running theme in both SaTA and DE, but the angle here is different.

I already said it: the past is not remembered, is fetishized with an almost sexual yearning by a lot of the male characters of the book. They want to be consumed by it (and lucky them! It will) and do nothing more than serve it. It reminds me of a poem by Yamil Nardil Sadek, which, translated to the best of my ability, goes like: 

She awaits me

sitting on the bed,

wearing leather,

and armed to the teeth,

the Memory.

Yeah, that sums up Sacred and Terrible Air pretty well. Everyone is being consumed by the past, bite by bite, and enjoying it. Vidkun Hird, by the mythologized version of his tribe’s history; Sarjan Ambartsumjan, by a miniature ship model that requires constant, devoted thought or else it will disappear, the three main characters by the memory of that summer with the Lund girls. Even the Linoleum Salesman is being haunted and consumed, of sorts, by his sickness and dementia that only sometimes let him take a peek of the past. Beyond that, there are very few characters that do not spend time being followed by relentless ghosts. Literally, in the case of Zigi. Which brings me to…

3. The Pale. It was a really cool concept in Disco Elysium, and it’s an existential nightmare in Sacred and Terrible Air. It always was, really. But here it lets you take a look into it in a way that’s applicable in real life. The Pale is a metaphor for many things, but actually for a single one: A world where our current Capitalist reality facilitates both apathy and yearning for better days, often idealized in our collective pasts.

My favorite scene, one that was incredibly puzzling but so obvious in retrospect, is a beautiful speech by the ghost (?) of Ignus Nilsen to Zigi. I will just paste it here:

“I said terrible things, yes! I stood on a white horse, in a blizzard, and gave speeches. In the mountains, on the construction site… I swung my sword, with silver sunbeams on the hilt. And all around me fluttered white flags, crests of crowned horns made with silver thread, a pentagon between the prongs of the horns, the branches raised to heaven. Everyone who came here with me became happy, Zigi! Communism is powerful! Believe in Communism, it’s a burst of enthusiasm! I promise! It’s beautiful when you believe in a person, but without it…!”

“Without it, there is nothing.”

“Nothing. It was a blizzard, but it was bright, it was morning. Communism is white, it sparkles! Communism is the morning, it is a jubilation!” 

The Pale begins to recede dangerously around the entroponaut.

The fucking Pale recedes with talk of Communism! At first it might appear a little heavy handed (yeah, Communism, by itself, could save the world). But then I got into how Communism could be a solution to the antipathy and chronic nostalgia that sustain Capitalism, and then it hit me. Nilsen, a literal ghost from the past, is talking about a future that could have been. That he wanted to accomplish. That people, probably, can still achieve. The Pale is not eternal, it can be pushed back. Because the Pale seems to subsist on the past, it abhors any talk of the future. A better future. That’s how we solve things, and for a central thesis, is not bad at all.

With that being said, and because I’m just rambling here while pretending I’m working, there are also some things that I just didn’t understand, but maybe it was because of the translation. The original novel is written in a very poetic style, and some of that is still here, but I still need to untangle…

1. The Man. It is said that the day the Lund girls disappeared, they were joined by a mysterious Man that nobody seemed to remember correctly. A character even suspects that she was remembering wrong. Now, the Pale erases people and memories retroactively, so maybe it had something to do with it, but… Who was that? Is there any theory about that Man, or I just missed something? Some scenes and narrations were tough to parse for me (my primary language is not English).

2. Was Malin Lund pregnant? That flash with the fetus was sudden and weird.

3. What was the significance of the three meat piroshkis? They mention that it was unusual that the girls bought them (and if you do the math, you can realize early on that they were not planning to get back home. That purchase didn’t leave them enough money for the bus fare back), but that’s it. Were they for the Man? Also, the narration mentions that Lund girls’ picnic basket contained “the kind of things girls like to eat”, so maybe they were planning to see the boys and bring them the kind of things boys eat? I’m overthinking that? The chapter actually titled “Three Meat Piroshkis” just left me even more confused.

4. I don’t understand how Khan’s pen works at all. The one he brought to the school reunion. That was the part I re-read the most. Anyway, even with that, I loved Sacred and Terrible Air. Definitely one of the most enthralling reads I had, with or without the background of Disco Elysium. I’d still like an official translation that could potentially solve the issues I had, but for now, a Top 10 Book for me.

Go for it now.

[cheriladycl01]

Well, that's just the way the Cookie Crumbles ... - Fernando Alonso x Younger Actress! Reader

Plot: You are an actress/ stunt actress and get invited onto TOP Gear with Fernando Alonso to see who has the quickest time driving around Silverstone in your choice of car.

"So Fernando, you've had some interesting dating scandals over the years. Taylor Swift being one of them, however due to your most recent appearance on Top Gear, and having seen her around the paddock a few times people are wondering about your closeness to a certain Actress" the interviewing around the paddock asks as he comes up to Alonso, seeing he is alone and free to talk about the upcoming race and anything else.

"Well..." he starts before thinking back to the first time he met you.

"So today here we have Professional Driver in Formula One for Aston Martin Cognizant Racing Fernando Alonso" Paddy introduces as Fernando comes up and onto the stage shaking everyone's hands before taking a seat on the sofa in the Top Gear studio.

"That's not all that we have though tonight is it!" Chris says making Fernando frown, he assumed he was the only celebrity on tonight.

"No we also have Oscar Award Winning Actress and Stunt Actress, Y/N Y/L/N" Freddie says as you walk out onto the stage your high heels clopping against the flooring. You go and shake all of their hands, kissing Chris on either side of his cheeks having met him before.

"Hello" you smile waving at the crowd, screams coming from everywhere. You take everything in before taking at seat next to Fernando.

"So, we had both of you compete at a track that one of you knows extremely well" Chris starts and looks over at Fernando who nods, remembering a week ago him driving round the Silverstone track.

"Yes, i have raced that track many a time!" he admits.

"You've even won two Grand Prix there in 2006 and 2011. Which means gosh how old would have you been Y/N?" Paddy asks looking over to the younger actress.

"Oh, mmmm 2006 i would have been 13 years old, and 2011 i would have been 18" you work out mentally in your head.

"And its funny because we actually have a picture of you and Fernando Alonso back in 2011. You were just starting up your acting career! Look folks here it is" Freddie smiles showing the picture of you as a young adult stood with 30 year old Alonso.

"Woah i don't even remember that being you. I didn't even know who you were back then" Fernando says squinting at the picture in shock, trying to see if it really was you.

"I was awe struck with everything that was going on honestly i probably just looked like a fan. I can understand the confusion" you laugh knowing now that Fernando was actually a bigger fan of yours.

"Well, lets explain what we actually had these two do at Silverstone" Paddy answers.

"Yes, its about time. Lets show the video!" Freddie exclaims.

"Hello Top Gear Fans, today we are here at Silverstone shooting over one weekend, two different celebrities up against a totally new challenge" Chris introduces.

"I'm very excited for this challenge are you?" Freddie asks.

"Yeah, it's like the challenges we are normally privy too just without the pain being on us" Chris frowns, crossing his arms grumpily.

"So, todays challenge we have, Fernando Alonso and Y/N Y/L/N. They were asked to each choose a sports car in their budget to drive around Silverstone" Paddy introduces the challenge.

"Fernando is on Friday. Y/n on Saturday and today in the studio on Sunday its like our very own Top Gear Grand Prix" he admits showing the awfully drawn out plans for shooting.

"So, Fernando's been sent here with Aston Martin so we automatically knew he'll be taking the Aston Martin Valkyrie" Freddie says looking down at the cards in his hands.

"Yes it would be a little awkward if he chose another brand!" Chris laughs.

"The most surprising thing is Y/N has chosen the McLaren Speedtail! Is there a partnership we don't know about brewing?" Paddy asks.

And the video went on, little breaks where they came back to the show seeing Y/N and Fernando laughing along with each other and the presenters.

Eventually it showed Fernando go round, in dry conditions and very quickly. He was a seasoned expert at the track and new the racing line. However driving in an actual car was very different than his open wheeler.

Then it came back, he was asked about his run and how he felt that it had gone before switching onto you and the Saturday when you drove.

You had your helmet on, and you drove quickly. As a stunt actress you'd done a lot of risky driving in your time where you were confident in your skills to go quick and be able to drift without loosing any time or over-skidding to make the car flip and crash.

"So, are you both ready to find out who won?"

"Yes" you both had said in unison.

"Well, Fernando lets starts with you, you timed in at 1.32.823" Paddy says slowly reading off the card.

"And Y/N you timed in at a staggering 1.30.923" Freddie announces calling out the numbers really slowly. You looked at Fernando in shock, he also looked particularly shocked but seeing the way you didn't hesitate at any of the corners and seeing your aggressive way of driving from the videos it wasn't that much of a shock when he thought about it.

"How?" he asked

"Thats just the way the cookie crumbles baby" you smile at him.

His mind came back to the interviewer a small smile gracing on his face.

"Ahahah is he talking about his cool new girlfriend!" Lando squeals running back the camera seeing the look on his competitions face.

"Look at him, he's a grumpy grandad!" Albon follows with a quiet laugh that has George and Charles joining in with the mayhem.

"Yes, Y/N is my new girlfriend. We bonded after the filming for Top Gear and she took me away by her driving skills if im being honest" he admits, knowing he was still a little salty at how you'd beaten him and how you kept on insisting it was an age thing, you were younger and more spritely so of course you won.

He did find it funny and rather endearing the way you'd lean into him as you joked about how old he actually was, he loved you despite the teasing.

"But she isn't in Aston Martin, she's always seen in McLaren!" the interviewer pushes.

"Ah, well that is for her to show, i am not aloud to say anything. However, she will sneak over to Aston Martin to come and see me. I guess that's as she would say, the er cookie crumbles?"

A/N: sorry guys just two smaller individual imagines today where I've been busy with lots of uni stuff.

However, theres so much in the up and coming i think you'll all enjoy! We have a small Lance Stroll imagine that should be out tonight as well! Then we have a cute Pierre Gasly and Reader!

And then of course the continuation of my series such as Charles, Carlos, George and Oscar with the edition of a new Lando Series coming soon!

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee

[maxdibert]

okay, yes, snape suffered a lot but he also made his students suffer a lot. do you know what it must have been like for all those kids to be constantly humiliated??? if you like comparing with real life so much, what would you think of a real adult who abuses their power to feel better at the expense of children??? snape fans always come up with all kinds of excuses, but when it comes to the topic of his abuse towards his students, you always stay silent, and that's because it has no forgiveness.

Severus’s role as a dysfunctional adult is honestly pretty amusing to me, especially because while I never experienced bullying from peers or equals, I grew up in an environment full of wildly dysfunctional adults. On top of that, I now work on legal cases involving even more dysfunctional adults. And, to make it even better, while my classmates never gave me grief, attending a private Catholic school in the 2000s meant teacher-on-student violence was pretty much a daily occurrence. Not just at school—I've also had some truly awful professors at university. So, I get firsthand what it’s like to have authority figures who are supposed to guide and protect you but act like an absolute pack of jerks.

Here’s an unpopular opinion: if I compare my personal experiences with dysfunctional adults and terrible teachers, Severus is practically a lamb. I’ve witnessed some insane things. There was a case at my school where a teacher bullied three siblings (in different grades) so badly that their dad came to the school and physically beat the teacher up. And honestly? The guy deserved it. I’ve seen old-school priests handing out slaps. I’ve had a teacher in his late 30s openly flirting with 17-year-old students. I’ve had teachers who didn’t just throw out a sarcastic remark—they flat-out called us “idiots,” “morons,” "dickheads", "assholes", “worthless,” or said things like, “You’re all going to end up mopping floors because you’re useless pieces of crap.” Fun times with Mr. Antonio.

There was one teacher who made students stand up one by one so he could critique their outfits in front of the entire class, piece by piece, like he thought he was Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada. Another handed out nicknames that were humiliating and outright cruel. Or that elementary teacher who also taught catechism and would call up children who were not going to take their First Communion (this happens at 8 or 9 years old) to the front of the class and publicly ask them why they didn’t want to embrace Jesus Christ. She would even ask if they thought their parents didn’t love them because they weren’t letting them do the same as their friends. Or the second-grade teacher who called a boy up to the board because he didn’t know a multiplication table very well and started singing a mocking song in Spanish that goes, “Fulanito tururú, que no sabe ni la u” (basically calling someone slow-witted).

Then there was the fourth-grade teacher (9-10yo) who had a particular grudge against one of my classmates and kept threatening to lock him in places or scaring him by saying he was going to throw him out the window. The English teacher, who, when we were 14 years old, locked us in a classroom, made us skip lunch, and kept us there without eating until 5 PM. The technology teacher, a 50-year-old man with a very hands-on approach towards the girls in first and second year of secondary school (12-13 yo). And I could go on and on.

So yeah, I’ve seen some wild stuff in classrooms, and trust me, you don’t need to explain the trauma bad teachers can cause—I’ve had my share of them. And none of it is going to make me like Severus any less. If anything, the stuff he does in the books feels like 1% of the madness I’ve seen play out in real life.

[bethanydelleman]

Hi, I just recently started reading Jane austen (so far finished p&p, Emma, and mp), so your rants are very very entertaining to me.

But I still can't quite get over the age gap between Emma and Mr knightley, and the fact that he's been in love with her for so long when he was almost a full grown adult at her birth. I love love LOVE Emma, its my favourite so far and their dynamic is sweet but the age gap.... just feels wrong to me.

What are your thoughts on this?

Ty <3

When the novel begins, Emma is 21 and Mr. Knightley is 38. They probably marry at 22 & 39. The gap is 17 years and it's the second largest after [redacted spoiler for Sense & Sensibility]

Anyway, to answer your question, age gaps aren't inherently problematic if both sides are legal adults: you have to look for an actual power imbalance. Emma treats Mr. Knightley as if she is his equal. She rarely listens to his advice, she fights with him as an equal, and they collaborate on managing her father. You can tell that he respects her as a house manager, her adult role, even if he does try to guide and give her advice on other matters. Other than it being the Regency and her being a woman, there is not a power imbalance in their relationship (that would happen no matter how old she was).

While Mr. Knightley acknowledges that he's loved Emma for a long time, but he wasn't exactly aware of it and he certainly wasn't acting on it. He's saying that in hindsight, he's loved her for a long time, but not consciously. What he says at the end is a bit of a joke, where he equates scolding her with love, therefore meaning he's been in love with her since 13 since that's when he started scolding her.

Like Fanny Price, I find myself wishing that Emma got more selection before she married, but the age gap doesn't bother me.

(I'm glad you enjoy my rants! Thanks 😊)

[emmkitt]

stop calling mephone4 a child.

my credentials(/silly): mephone4’s biggest fan + someone who sees mephone as representative of myself. i am also an autistic adult. (relevant)

i went on an autistic tirade rambling about this in a discord server but i wanted to compile my reasoning and stuff here into a tumblr post because this is very important to me.

alright. lets start with the most commonly used argument.

calling mephone a child is ableist.

now i certainly agree that some children CAN act the way mephone does. however, i think it’s harmful when your ONLY argument as to why he is a child is ‘because he cant spell’ or ‘because he creates fantasy worlds in his brain as a means of escapism.’

I think the issue is, we are reducing these very real symptoms of mental disorders to ‘oh he’s just acting childish,’ instead of understanding them for what they are. autism and dyslexia are not cured the second you turn 18. it doesn’t work that way. giving in to the stereotype that only children can act this way… i dunno man. it really rubs me the wrong way.

i think it’d be better to view him as an adult with these symptoms because, well, VERY rarely do we ever get representation of an adult with mental disorders in media. at least not in a way that’s not villainizing them or mocking/infantilizing them. (sidebar, mephone IS NOT THE VILLAIN. he did bad things, yes, and should be held accountable for it, but he is NOT. THE VILLAIN. he is an abuse victim, and his way of acting is actually very good representation of the way abuse victims may go on to mimic actions of their abuser.) cobs (mephone’s abuser btw) LITERALLY infantilizes mephone IN CANON. IN THE SHOW. WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO COBS. WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE COBS.

bro didnt go to school

i didnt know how to title this section. basically, people reducing him to a child because he doesn’t know adult things are MISSING THE POINT.

HE WAS RAISED BY COBS.

do you think cobs had ANY interest in teaching him ANYTHING about the real world? about how to be an adult? about how to ride a bike or pay taxes? NO. dude popped into existence knowing nothing except what Cobs WANTED him to know. he was meant to just work for Cobs and do tasks all the time and that was IT. OF COURSE his knowledge is going to be limited to what Cobs taught him. that DOES NOT make someone a child. GO REWATCH THE SHOWWWW.

suspend your disbelief for once in your life oh my god

i dont understand how people are able to suspend disbelief for LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE in fiction. such as murder/death, supernatural creatures, the universe itself as a whole, etc. but when it comes to age, the real world standards MUST be applied, no exception. Like since Mephone was canonically created 14 years ago in-universe that means he is 14 years old. we are completely ignoring the fact he is a fictional talking sentient phone robot for a minute.

and adding in the ‘he acts like a child’ argument for a second… season 1. what 1 year old do you know that can walk and talk and create an entire game show?? he has practically acted the EXACT SAME WAY his entire existence, therefore that argument falls completely flat.

it would be DIFFERENT if in-universe they had established rules, where this age means this and that age means that, but the ii universe DOES NOT HAVE THAT. meaning people are free to interpret age however they want. it would ALSO be different if mephone was canonically stated to be a child (we’re getting to that) OR portrayed to be childcoded. which…. he isn’t.

okay so by these rules all of the contestants are younger than mephone.

the agreement amongst child mephone believers seems to be ‘creation date = birth date = real age’. so bot is like 3 years old. the unvitationals are like 2. all the contestants are somewhere between like 4-14. but wait- some season 1 contestants ACT older or younger than the others? no. no theyre ALL 13-14 only. no exceptions. every newbie in season 3 is like 4-5. every newbie in season 2 is like 10. makes perfect sense.

do you understand how ridiculous that is. WE CANNOT , i repeat, CANNOT APPLY REAL WORLD STANDARDS TO A FICTIONAL UNIVERSE. oh my god. they are holograms. they are robots. they are in a weird plane floating in the vastness of space that has a picnic table that can generate food, and the ability to revive dead people, and ghosts and talking corn and. and all of THAT is fine. but god forbid someone interpret the talking phone as an adult. I DONT GET IT.

b-b-but cobs called mephone a child…

once again, common arguement. i strike thee down with a ‘MANIPULATION TACTIC.’ i feel like this has been covered enough and better in other mephone rambles so im not gonna get into it.

personal section

this is more of a personal experiences and opinions thing. less based on fact. agree or disagree idc this is just my experience.

once again, like i stated in the beginning, i see myself in mephone. a lot. I am an adult. i have autism. i have the tendency to act ‘childish’ sometimes due to my condition. im bad at being an adult. i struggle with tasks that are probably easy for other adults. i’m not a child. it’s very disheartening- i WANT to be viewed as an independent functioning adult, despite my condition, but when even a FICTIONAL PHONE who acts just like i do gets reduced to ‘child’ because he acts similarly to someone who’s mentally ill and has been abused. it HURTS MAN. he’s just trying his best:[

anyways conclusion

idc. you can headcanon whatever you want cause technically nothing is confirmed, but this is more food for thought for the people immediately jumping on the ‘child mephone’ bandwagon.

unless someone is canonically stated to be a child or is very heavily child coded, i don’t think its wrong for people to interpret them as an adult.

if sometime in the future mephone is canonically confirmed to be a child like. in universe. ill probably be disappointed.

i am a firm believer in age doesnt work the same way in ii as it does in our universe. theyre all fictional creatures. they were not created by conventional means. you dont have to apply our world’s standards to it.

anyways uhh. ramble over lol

[copalcetic]

I keep seeing takes on how the child soldiers were unnecessarily edgy for Skeleton Crew, but here's the thing:

The actress who plays Hayna? She was 13 when Skeleton Crew was filmed.

Ahsoka was 14 when she joined the front lines of the Clone Wars. Caleb was on the front lines at 14. Ezra was 14 when he joined the Ghost crew. And yeah, you can talk about how of course Star Wars has child protagonists when it's trying to appeal to a child audience, and about how it hits different in animation than in live action, but the fact remains: Star Wars has always had child soldiers. What's surprising about Skeleton Crew isn't that young teenagers are fighting wars, it's that its protagonists got actual childhoods.

There's a moment in Port Borgo where Melna the dancer sees Fern and KB and says "Are you--are you children?" and on first watch I thought her confusion was that she's Theelin and doesn't have a great grasp on how to read human ages. But now I wonder if that's not it at all. She knows they're roughly 12. But she's lived through the fall of the Empire. She's used to 12 year olds who know how to pick up blasters and fight. Seeing 12 year olds who act the way she expects much younger kids to act--that's the confusing part to her. Are they children? They're acting like little kids, but in her world they're old enough to be treated almost as adults.

They just missed the war, that's all. And what that says about the rest of the galaxy breaks my heart.

[colleybri]

Cassian Andor taking on an Imperial garrison…

The subtle use of echoing lines in Andor (frequently right through to Rogue One) is so well done, and one example shows Cassian’s character development very clearly…

When Cassian is first being briefed by Vel about the heist on Aldhani, he reacts with horror at the news about there being an Imperial garrison nearby. Luthen didn’t mention it, and you get the sense that he might not have agreed to take on the job had he known about this extra danger . But of course, he commits and the heist is a success – of a kind.

But afterwards… he doesn’t want to do anything like that again. He wants to “win and walk away” to “somewhere warm and easy” . The irony is – his actions have helped to inspire Maarva, who refuses to leave Ferrix - while praising the actions of the “brave” “heroes” of Aldhani. She’s just indirectly praised him, and you can see that he’s delighted by a split second little spontaneous smile of pleasure that he quickly suppresses. Ouch. He’s finally done something she could be proud of, but he doesn’t want to give her a reason to stay so he has to stay quiet.

^ Awww 😞

But what’s really interesting is the editing in this masterful and moving scene. On Maarva’s words ‘If there are heroes brave enough to take on a whole Imperial garrison I’m brave enough to stick it out here” we see the flashback of 13 year old Cassian approaching the Troopers with a cudgel, revealing at long last the details of the assault that landed him in youth prison for three years and Mimban after that. The horrifying execution of Clem combined with the injustice and pain of his own punishment has not just traumatised the adult Cassian, it’s also made him somebody who will now avoid a conflict – and therefore the Rebellion– wherever possible. 

‘It’s all useless… it’s better to live!’ is what he told Luthen before Aldhani, but the precise placing of the shot here is very telling.

Cassian is starting to subconsciously associate that act with bravery rather than recklessness. He hates the Empire for what they did to Clem but it has so far translated to trying to ‘live’ and ignore them as much as possible; but his teenage self wanted to fight, to get revenge. Nonetheless it was an emotional response, an impulsive act that was not thought through. This is in total contrast to the calm methodical shots of Wilmon Paak preparing the bomb at the start of Episode 12. Wilmon is balancing emotion with rationality in planning his own revenge, in an arc which otherwise is like a replay of Cassian’s own.

Later in Episode 12 Cassian hears from Brasso his mother’s last words for him - all proof not just of how much she loved him but of how much she knew him too. He does indeed now ‘know everything he needs to know and feel everything he needs to feel’. His reasoning and his emotions are now able to work together to be that ‘unstoppable force for good’. He won’t be making emotional but futile attacks like rushing armed Troopers with a stick anymore. He will think, plan, observe and react. But he will act. He is not going to walk away any more. And he’s not going to leave loved ones behind if he can help it…

…Because in a final bit of lines-linking brilliance - immediately after hearing these words of his mother, Cassian prepares to go into the hotel, via the tunnels she checked were open, to rescue Bix.

Incredulous, Brasso says: “Are you going to take on a whole garrison?”

And Cassian doesn’t verbally reply. The look says it all. ‘I’ve done it before, twice, l’ll do it again, and I’m doing it now.’

It sums up Cassian’s arc so well. From oppression, to fighting back, to running from the fight, to taking up the fight again (now an even more exact mirror of Jyn Erso’s arc too). But this time… having learnt from experience. One lesson being: teamwork matters…

…Because thanks to Brasso and the riot the Troopers are ordered out of the Rix hotel, which is the Empire’s base. Making it possible for Cassian to extract Bix, with the “Imperial garrison” deployed elsewhere. A technique so effective, it will also be used on Scarif to give Jyn, K2SO and himself a chance to reach the data files.

“Light it up …

..Make ten men feel like a hundred “

And that’s how you make a realistic hero. Cassian is somebody who learns and grows despite some bitter experiences.

Better deploy that garrison, because Cassian Andor is taking it on.

[spideypoolbigbang]

SPBB 2024 MASTERLIST

Title: The Cursed Prince

Author: Trolley

Artists: Yad (Twitter: naiad_r) and Zarth (AO3: Zarth)

Beta Reader: do_sugar

Rating: Mature

Warnings: temporary MCD

Word Count: 35k

Posting Date: Tuesday, October 1st

Summary:  The reigning council of Regines hires a disreputable mercenary fighter to protect their prince from a demon’s curse. It goes well for all of two days.

Stupid spindles. Stupid princes who argue curse semantics. Now Wade’s got to go rescue his brat of a charge from the tower guarded by a seemingly invincible spider demon. It’d help if he could figure out why the demon’s acting so strange, but the council is too busy breathing down his neck to listen and Spidey is so gods-be-damned cryptic.

 Fic Masterpost | Art Masterposts: 1 2

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Title: Enchanted to Meet You

Author(s): @mscaptainwinchester

Artist: @gensyz

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Minor Violence, A/B/O dynamics

Word Count: 40k

Posting Date: Friday, October 4

Summary: Peter is an omega who only wants to read his science journals in peace, but his orphaned status means he must marry. He could marry Baron Osborn’s son, Harry, but Peter isn’t interested. Enter Duke Wade Wilson, werewolf recluse, returning to the ton for the first time in a decade. The rumors color him as a brutal murderer, but Peter only sees a handsome, kind, funny alpha who looks at him like the stars are hung in his eyes. Can the two of them survive the season long enough to find their happily ever after, or will the pressures of societal expectations and the threat of ruin tear them apart before they’ve begun?

Fic Masterpost | ArtMasterpost

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Title: Survive the Horde 101

Author(s): sparkstarthetrashcan / sparkstar-trash

Artist: ScrapBunny-Art / Scrapbunny_

Rating:Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Word Count: 11,111

Posting Date:October 7th

Summary: Peter’s first day teaching at Brooklyn Visions Academy couldn’t go any worse than a Sandman attack… or could it?

A tacky choker collar trend goes viral, but it’s not as innocent as it first seems. More and more students are pulled into its clutches, until even the Ultimate Spider-Man, Miles Morales, is part of the Horde.

Trying to survive the Not-Zombie Zombie Apocalypse isn’t all bad, though. Especially when he finds a certain survivor, the hot P.E. Teacher

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: A-Romantic Attraction?

Author: babyboysnek

Artist: n07marvel

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 10,000

Posting Date: October 10, 2024

Summary: Peter Parker is in love with Wade Wilson. In any other universe, Wade Wilson would be ecstatic. But this is not one of those universes. In this universe, Wade is aromantic and despite a passionate night they had years ago, Wade is just not romantically interested in Peter. It’s not like he doesn’t love the guy. But it’s complicated. They, of course, have never had proper communication. Ellie thinks they are big ol idiots that need to talk like adults. She would be right.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: make no sound

Author: bisexualbarry

Artist: violettavonviolet

Rating: mature

Warnings: Depictions of violence, minor character death

Word Count: 14,600

Posting Date: October 13

Summary: When seven teen counselors get the opportunity to have another night at Hackett’s Quarry summer camp without any adults or kids around, they want to have fun with it. A simple bonfire to signal the end of summer and bring on what will come next. But there’s something lurking in the shadows that the camp leader failed to mention. And it may make or break them.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: The Second Secret

Author: Mythicaltzu

Artist: skelet0andro

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No warnings apply

Word Count: 16,800

Posting Date: October 23, 2024

Summary: Wherein Peter grapples with the age-old question: If you can’t trust a semi-reformed mercenary strapped with dozens of weapons, who can you trust?

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: So Glad (I Stuck Around)

Author: @chiayhorchata

Artists: @xpyne & @thepossumcore 

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 17,052

Posting Date: October 26 

Summary: Wade Wilson is aware of who and what he is. Thank you very much. 

He knows he is issues upon issues all wrapped up in the nastiest package anyone has ever seen, he’s a violent, suicidal mess, he’s unlovable and destroys everything and everyone he touches. He knows he used up all of his good luck when Spider-Man allowed him to follow along for his patrols and dried up the well when Peter became his friend.

So, forgive him if he’s a little shocked when Peter asks him out on a date, a real, totally serious, no joking, romantic date. He’s a lot more shocked when the hero actually wants a romantic relationship with the mercenary.

It seems that Peter Parker is determined to prove Wade wrong on everything he believes about himself. Fuck.

Fic Masterpost  |  Art Masterpost 1  |   Art Masterpost 2

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Title: New Beginnings

Author(s): LoaDyron

Artist: ten9th

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Body Dysmorphia, Schizophrenia, Bipolar2, BDSM (biting), Masturbation.

Word Count: 74,706

Posting Date: October 28

Summary: Since Peter and Wade made the decision to give their relationship another chance, everything is going well for them. Love is in the air, and they are both really excited to make their feelings official, even if they still need to work through some issues to maintain their relationship. They rent a new house since they are ready to live together.

But there are secrets that each of them must confess to one another.

Still terrified that Peter may reject him, Wade faces the dilemma of showing his face despite his promise to Spidey to finally reveal his appearance.

Peter, on the other hand, is discovering he’s into BDSM stuff, so he tries to find ways to tell his boyfriend. But he does… in an expected way.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: The Alpha Choice

Author(s): Giddywords

Artist: Littes

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Charles Xavier/Erik Lehnsherr, Slavery, Mildly Dubious Consent , Modern Days

Word Count: 25,095

Posting Date: October 29

Summary: Wade doesn’t want to mate – he has a mansion full of omegas to take care of already. But because of his ruts and social pressure he goes to an Omega Orphanage to buy an expensive good-behaved spouse mate for life.

Instead he looks at this cheap one, glaring at him, smelling of fury and disdain, that is clearly rebellious: Peter Parker doesn’t know how to cook, has a bad temper, is too smart for an omega, and hates Wade’s guts – but beside all that, he’s still the Alpha choice.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost