#can the fictional gays ever be happy?
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ineffablejackass · 5 days ago
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why is it that I always gotta fall in love with media absolutely riddled with gay tragedy. do I just crave pain that can make my heart feel like it's being run through a blender, inside of an active volcano, then being smashed into even teeny tinier bits with a goddamn sledgehammer? is that it?
if so,
slay
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phagodyke · 7 months ago
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ohhhhh my god girl i don't careeeee
#love my roommate but urghhhh. sorry they dont make enough fictional female characters that interest u but u dont need to justify it to me#write your mlm its literally fine. sorry but ur not gonna gain my respect or approval by defending why u write more mlm than wlw#i dont care if u have equal amounts of each or not LOL we just have different tastes thats all there is to it#and I KNOOOOOOWWWW she writes femslash too im not denying that !!!!!!#most of my fav media is lesbian centric bc I have a strong connection to my identity as a dyke. so i gravitate towards things that explore-#that + complex relationships to gender + its social enforcement etcetc. and its easier for me to get attached to characters that i can-#connect with bc we have shared experiences or the world percieves us in similar ways or we percieve the world in similar ways etc#and shes said she DOESNT feel particularly attached to her sexuality in that way. so ofc shes not going to be looking for the same things-#in media and thats OKAY!!#literally have nothing against her writing gay men i like some fictional mlm relationships myself!! and its cool that she enjoys it#i just find it disappointing that we dont have much in common taste-wise bc thatd be more fun to talk abt#but thats why i come on tumblr dot com.. to talk abt fictional women w dykes who understand them like i do amen#and im happy to listen to her talk abt things she likes and projects shes clearly enjoying working on like thats awesome love to hear it#but sometimes its like shes trying to persuade me abt smth but theres nothing to persuade. i dont knooooow#like ik shes not trying to get me into her interests she already has plenty of friends who are. but theres no approval to win from me???#i think im just annoyed bc i feel like i cant rly talk abt the things im into w her bc she disliked them so much#and also annoying to be around someone who shares an identity w me but is clearly more uncomfortable w it than i am#maybe thats not even true actually the real reason im annoyed is bc ive had a long and exhausting week and im coming down from-#my first day on new meds and im soooo so so tired have i sajd that already. and my head hurts#and i want a fucking hug and im just projecting my lack of physical and emotional intimacy onto her bc she happens to be the person i-#spend the most time with. but thats really unfair of me its not her fault or obligation at all. ah i just want to shower and sleeeepp#and tomorrow day 2 of meds im gonna get so much shit done!!!!!!!! i hope.. i wanna finish drafting my comic too teehee#wouldnt it be so crazy if now im medicated i might actually be able to start and finish projects i reallyyyy want to do..#well i wont get my hopes up yet#anyway........#another day another 5 million tag rambling post complaining abt everything. and dont expect me to ever stop 😚#.diaries#literally why would i care abt the tastes of a girl whose fave character in tlt was naberius........#she rly had to pick one of the ONLY men and not even one of the particularly interesting ones. and shes not even straight???? her loss 🙄
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fluidnet · 1 year ago
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I was half asleep and thinking about all the stories like She’s The Man and Mulan (1999) where a woman dresses up like a man in order to do something ManlyTM and how they all inevitably fall in love with the masculinity of it all while still being women (or not, I guess, fiction is flexible and gender is more so)
and I went “give me a man who chooses to dress as a woman instead of resorting to violence. Give me a man who, in finding femininity and softness, can find himself. Give me a man who chooses kindness and love over war and aggression, but the only way he can do so is finding solace in the feminine. Not because femininity is inherently softer, but because society has told him as such. Give me a man who, through trial and error, finds himself learning to love the traditional women’s tasks he’s been clumsily attempting. Give me a man who could never truly fit in with other men, and the women around him protect him and love him unconditionally. Give me a man who cannot stand for himself at first, and then rises stronger together with the people who took him in”
And I realized that “give me a man who dresses as a woman in order to avoid going to war” is just. Achilles. And I want that classically animated movie now. I don’t even care if it’s sanitized like the Disney Renaissance Mulan or Hercules, in fact I’d enjoy that. I want Achilles to choose kindness and love and beauty over the war he never wanted to fight. I want a lighthearted, playful version of Achilles where there’s a happy ending. I know it’s a tragedy, but so were a lot of things that got animated at the time (not even Disney, Anastasia and Quest for Camelot come to mind as well) and I think he and Patroclus can have a happily ever after, too
I also want it to be gay, but I think that goes without saying
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yonch · 10 months ago
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it's been 15 years and you can see better than ever
(design notes under the cut) (there are spoilers)
ok this got really long. here you go
sif:
ditched the cloak. it was collecting dust in their closet until recently, but they realized they don't need to cling to their grief so much anymore. someone else will need it more soon.
ditched the eyepatch. the prosthetic eye is a labor of love designed by isa, as is literally everything else they're wearing.
they cut their bangs finally and started braiding their hair back so it wouldn't obscure their vision as much anymore.
they like darker/tighter clothing and prefer function over form but unfortunately their gay ass boyfriend keeps treating them like a dress up doll so they're stuck wearing waistcoats and a fancy cloak. (they don't mind. it's designed to look like loop.) they keep flowers in their many pockets to give to people.
they're a woodworker in their free time. they don't usually talk about being any sort of savior so he just becomes sif the guy who's really good at carving birthday presents for people and also tags along with isa to charity parties and fundraisers
41 year old 5'1" they/he absolutely zero intention of Changing. bonded to isabeau. they adopted a kid who leo or i might post about some other time i think. her name is estelle.
isa: i'm not taking credit for the design that's by my friend @fembard /@leoweooo. i'll include his design notes
isa dresses mostly for comfort, he doesn't like wearing stuff that might get stained or ruined when he's dyeing clothes or chasing stelle around in the mud or something, all his fashion sense goes into his handiwork
he Changed a few more times over the 15yrs, eventually settled. picked up she/her pronouns again on the side but was never really able to ditch the name isabeau and he kinda ran out of names anyways...
kept the long hair, kept a few inches in height, very happy to fulfill the role of male (space) wife
can't ditch the kimono jacket it's the piece de resistance. odile influence and Wisening Of Age means its made with a little more knowledge of ka buan technique but still very clearly an Isa Design. the fabric is imported silk sif!!!!!!
39 year old Tall with a capital T he/she "i swear i'm not a weeaboo i'm just really into ka buan fashion" vaugardian indie clothing designer in your area help support this man in his attempts to use his family members as living advertisements for his brand
mira: with design input from @jastertown thank you my friend
i took a lot of inspiration for the sparkly, sheer fabric on her dress from euphrasie. she's not head housemaiden yet because she doesn't feel like she's ready but everybody knows it'll be her
speaking of inspiration. she's been taking a lot of fashion cues from a certain lady in dormont that she thought was kind of scary, but it turns out she's very nice? they're besties now.
she got rid of the earrings for a little bit but then she realized she just liked how they look on her. so now they go ding ding! it's for her and nobody else, and that's how she likes it.
moved her ornaments to her skirt because they ding ding more often there. her necklace also jingles with merriment.
38 year old she/her advanced cisgender+ legend who's realizing that people are trying to get her to be the pope but all she really wants to do is write yaoibait fiction that looks like it came straight off of ao3
odile:
my glorious hag. she started shrinking about 3 years ago. all those years of bending over books has finally caught up to her. her hips are fuuuuuucked. but she has a sick cane that sif carved for her so everything's okay
she was already pretty comfortable and settled in her sense of style when she was nearing 50 so i don't think she would change much. darker clothing maybe. ditched the high-waisted pants for some looser slacks.
she's started writing a familytale of her own. the only person she's told about it is bonbon, who caught her up way past their bedtime, and scribbled all over one of the pages. she'll pass it on to sif when the time's right, after she's written down everything she can remember about their family.
64 year old she/her wasian researcher recovering from hernia surgery who's getting really into things like "political activism" and "body craft law reformation in ka bue" and "making sure people aren't sourcing their hrt from back alleys"
bonnie:
prefers to go by boniface these days. it's cooler. more mature. please stop calling me bonbon that's a nickname from when i was 10 guys c'mon guys ugh fine frin you can still call me bonbon but not around my girlfriends ok (nobody calls them boniface except for odile)
speaking of which they have 3 butch lesbian girlfriends. this got established as a joke but i think they have it in them. they're still young!!!!!!! they should be at the club!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they traveled for a while with everybody but eventually settled down back in bambouche to start a little family owned restaurant with nille featuring dishes from all over the globe. people travel from all over to get a taste of boniface's good eats... bambouche is bustling. (they have a few recipes that are sourced from the country. they meet people every once in a while who find something achingly familiar about it, and they usually direct those people to jouvente to get in contact with frin.)
26 year old they/them "i dont know how tall i am but i'm taller than za" chef cooker whose restaurant keeps lighting on fire because this time i swear nille i can figure out how to do cooking craft i swear i wont explode the kitchen this time please i promise
loop:
ok. this is where lozy gets to just talk about what he thinks happens post game. i think they stick around for way longer than they really should and follow the crew around on their travels (mostly invisibly) because they're sooo fucking scared of change they're sooo scared and they're so scared of their wish fucking up beyond belief. they're kind of incapable of aging or dying in this body and theyre like permanently 26 which is what spurs them to finally move on.
i think they go back to their timeline eventually after making a Brand New Wish to "go back to their real family." alas the universe leads and we can only follow. and it turns out loop has actually made a real family in stardust's world also. this is my justification for why they can pop in between sasasap and isat worlds without much repercussion. i think they're always permanently loop shaped in isat but i imagine they can probably go back to their original body in their home timeline... might design that later. who knows. i'm fucked like that
i just think they deserve a chance for their own happy ending you know. isat's a game about how it's never too late to communicate and how you shouldn't punish yourself forever and ever. and i think theyve punished themself enough you know.
ok tank you for reading if you read this far. it's really big and long so i would understand if you didn't. but i hope you liked it. thoughts appreciated. here's a little something for the people who read all the way through.
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froggywritesstuff · 1 year ago
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hell is no place for a human | yandere!stolas
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ship/pairing: yandere!stolas x human!g/n!reader
request: anon: Can I request a yandere stolas with a human reader trying to escape?
warnings: kidnapping, unwanted touching (nonsexual), crying, handcuffs
fandom: Helluva Boss
word count: 1143
A/N: Stolas is canonically gay so fem reader's DNI. i do not in any way support yandere behaviour, please know that this writing is purely fictional, and should not ever be reenacted in real life
You had come up with the perfect plan. Just follow the plan and you'd finally be free of the sharp talons Stolas constantly had digging into your shoulder. Unfortunately, the plan required you to be away from Stolas. Which you'd found to be nearly impossible. The demon prince was incredibly clingy, and seemed to always need to be with you. It was no use getting help either, as Stolas had ordered every guard to immediately return you to him if you ever tried to escape. He treated the imps decently, so you doubted they'd jump at the opportunity to defy him. So maybe your plan wasn't so perfect after all. But after that realisation, you added some extra steps to the plan in order to get Stolas away from you.
You were sat in Stolas’s lap as he cuddled you on his couch, trying not to shake in anticipation.
He was talking about something you weren’t paying attention to, until you cleared your throat, “Stolas, I need to go to the bathroom.”
He paused his rant for a moment, quickly sitting up, picking you and changing your position so you were sat in his lap facing him.
”Is everything ok darling?” 
You fought the urge to roll your eyes. He would act like the world was ending if you had a stomach ache. “Yes, I’m fine, I just need the bathroom.”
He nodded, seemingly relieved you weren’t sick, and he called out to one of the imps standing guard, “Escort them.” He ordered, setting you off his lap and onto the floor. He cupped your face and placed a kiss on your cheek, an action you had to hide your disgusted expression over.
You were promptly escorted to the bathroom - something you weren’t happy about - and locked the door behind you, immediately searching through the drawers. Eventually, you found a sharp enough object you could use, gripping it tight in your hand before you opened the bathroom door.
The imp guard stared at you with an unreadable expression, seemingly unfazed by you holding a weapon to him. You took a step back, “Don’t say a word to Stolas. Please.” you breathed out, before sprinting off through the halls of Stolas’s palace.
You knew your words would have no effect on the imp, who was probably already off to inform Stolas about you running away. All you could do was run.
Your legs burned as you sped through the palace halls, anxiety plaguing your mind with every second you were out of the palace. You had no idea what you’d do once you were free. Hell definitely wasn’t safe for a human, Stolas never failed to let you know that day after day. You didn’t want to think about what might happen to you if you got out, but you also couldn’t bear to think of what would happen if Stolas caught you. He put up a sweet, loving front, but you knew he’d have to get angry at something as bad as this. You just didn’t know how angry…
While running, you heard a loud, demonic screech, followed by loud crashing noises. Your pace instantly sped up, fear fueling you. You were so close, the pounding footsteps behind you making you sprint even faster. You turned a corner, almost able to see the palace doors, when a large claw gripped your shoulder tightly, roughly throwing you to the ground. You craned your neck to look behind you, eyes widened in fear as you met Stolas’s multiple burning red eyes. Despite his bigger and darker appearance, you knew it was Stolas. Breathless, you coughed, trying to lift yourself up with shaky hands, only for you to fall back down. You shook in fear as you heard footsteps nearing you. A soft, firm hand touched your shoulder, a big contrast from the previous violent scene.
”My love, are you hurt?” You flinched at Stolas’s voice, unnerved by how calm his voice was. He held your hand gently, helping you sit up, and you saw Stolas back to normal.
You stayed silent, attempting to read his concerned face to find any anger that might let you know if you were in danger. If he was angry to the point he might hurt you, he was hiding it extremely well.
He sighed, effortlessly picking you up and beginning to carry you. He stayed silent for the entire walk back to your shared room, which had you extremely on edge.
You didn’t even know how scared you were until you realised you were physically shaking in his grip, before he placed you on the bed.
”Y/N,” it was silent for so long, that the sound made you flinch, “why did you try to leave?”
You were silent. Any truthful answer you gave would just upset him more, which was the last thing you wanted to do.
He sighed, gently but firmly grabbing your jaw and lifting your head so you were looking at him, “Answer me when I ask you something. Why did you try to leave?”
You couldn’t take it anymore, tears poured from your eyes and you shook under his cold gaze, “I-I’m sorry Stolas, I’m sorry, I-I-I-“
”Y/N,” his voice was so sweet, like honey, “look at me.” his hand moved from your jaw to cup your cheek, using his thumb to wipe your tears, “Breathe, just breathe.”
You found yourself doing as he said, taking deep breaths and eventually calming yourself down enough to have a conversation with Stolas.
”Y/N, I shouldn’t need to tell you why you can’t be running away and going outside, you hear it from me everyday.” He said, grabbing handcuffs from his desk drawer and walking back toward you, making you shrink back in fear.
”Stolas, I-“
”But apparently, I do. Perhaps I overestimated your species. Perhaps I overestimated you. If you can’t listen to a simple instruction, it’s clear you’re in need of proper guidance. My guidance.” He took your arms, one at a time and handcuffed them to the bed frame. “My dear, you’re simply far too precious to be left unsupervised.” You swallowed nervously. If he thought constantly clinging to you and showering you with affection was leaving you unsupervised, you couldn’t imagine what he thought was the opposite. “And it appears I’ll have to be taking extra measures to keep you safe.”
You shook with fear, making the handcuffs rattle against the bed frame, "No- Stolas, what are you-"
"My dear, until I believe you've learnt your lesson, you will not be leaving this room."
"What?! Stolas you-"
"Y/N if you ever want to leave this room within the span of a month, I suggest you stay quiet."
You swallowed your words, immediately shrinking back. You'd never seen Stolas angry at you, and it wasn't something you wanted to keep seeing.
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moonlightsapphic · 2 years ago
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Look, I just need you guys to understand how important queer coming-of-age forbidden romances on internationally accessible platforms like Netflix is, especially to youth in countries where homosexuality still hasn't been legally decriminalised or socially accepted.
That was a mouthful, so let me explain. You, a white American adult with a liberal family, may not relate to a fictional anxious teen Swedish prince grappling with strict familial and societal expectations versus his first love. You may not find anything special in a bunch of queer British teens discovering themselves and figuring out complex relationships that are honestly rather simplistic, in retrospect. It might be a little too trite for you. Like, just a little vanilla without any extra drama. Perhaps corny—cringe, even. Too wholesome.
But you know what that is to me, a desi queer young adult? It's representation, in an unlikely place. My country certainly isn't making movies or shows where I see my secret relationship between me and my girlfriend portrayed. I don't see that happening in the next couple of decades, either, sadly. But you know who’s telling our stories? Alice Oseman. Lisa Ambjörn, Lars Beckung and Camilla Holter. Through fictional storylines that might seem kind of boring to you, I am finally able watch my lived experiences play out on screen.
American media has done such a disservice to queer coming-of-age stories. I want to scream this from the rooftops. Y’all, I’m glad to see more out quirky queer side-characters—I can’t get enough of them—but why is it so rarely their story, in sharp focus, about how they found themselves? I want to know how they overcame internalised homophobia. When was the moment they knew? What is the cost they have to pay for being out? For not being out?
And no, I don’t want it to be dramatic. I don’t need to see violence or betrayals or victorious kisses in public, really. I’m happiest with the teenagers behaving like real teenagers. Innocent, vulnerable, nervous. I want it to be heartfelt, and excruciatingly slow, and authentic. I want to see the small wins and the subtle losses. The quiet mental toll of how much you have to give to a queer relationship—especially your first queer relationship—and how hard that can be to separate from your Identity itself.
Give me that "am I gay?" quiz and genuinely crying at 3:00 AM because you're in a rabbit hole about LGBTQ+ rights in a country where you actually don’t want to be gay and you don’t even know if you “count” anyway. Show me that moment where you're going back and forth from forbidding yourself from seeing the one person that sees and understands you and it's to protect your mental and physical well-being but it's driving you insane. Give me ALL THE YOUNG ADULT BI+ AWAKENINGS where one person strolls into your life and changes everything. No, it’s really not the same as most cis-heterosexual insta-love movies out there, even if it looks that way to you. It doesn’t even cut it close.
The happy ending, the acceptance is only what I can dream of, not what I can expect. The wholesomeness is actually radical to me.
No, we’re not past the need for basic star-crossed queer romances. For most countries in the world (including for many white American teenagers!), we need them as much as ever.
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canichangemyblogname · 15 days ago
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“The show isn’t going to cater to your fan fiction fantasy 🤣.”
Yeah… no. See, that’s not the issue. 1.) I don’t read fanfiction; can also barely write it, 2.) the issue 100% is that this was very clearly intended to come out of the blue, but because it seems increasingly likely LFJ isn’t returning to the show, there is a lack of resolution. This breakup is result of Tommy’s insecurities in the relationship. He feels he’s gonna get left behind; have his heart broken. The breakup even surprises Tommy. It blindsides Buck, a character who has long been characterized by a listlessness and a lack of defined vision for his future. When his boyfriend breaks up with him because he doesn’t believe that Buck can actually see him in his future, the narratively weighty thing is for the characters to later—after processing this breakup and struggling with competing wants—confront that. But that seems so incredibly unlikely, so it feels more like they kiboshed this for some external reason rather than a narrative one.
Then there’s an issue with the follow through with themes. If this is the end-end— and that seems likely with LFJ’s departure from the show—there’s a lack of follow through on reoccurring themes in the show, like second chances, making one’s own happiness, and how “our people” make life worth it. If the goal is Buck’s return to a 1.0 era, that would be a stark and sharp character regression instead of growth for a character who has come a long way over 8 seasons, which is not narratively satisfying. And when it’s ONLY the bisexual character who ever gets arcs like this, and it’s explicitly because of some “he doesn’t know what he really wants” or “he can’t commit,” then the story isn’t original; it’s a stereotype. There’s also then a very jarring lack of follow through on changes to structure and style they had been planning to explore, like finding ways to integrate a Love Interest into non-romance and non-relationship storylines, being able to expand these characters through professional scenarios together, and that whole thing about Buck getting off the “hamster wheel.” All of these hinted at major structural changes to the way the show writes secondary characters, which would also have major implications for characters like Karen and Josh. This sort of shift, understandably, gets viewers invested in a new era of an EIGHT season show, and disappointed when these structural changes fail (repeatedly, may I add) to manifest.
It’s disappointing because it seems—due to casting changes beyond their control and of no fault of anyone— there won’t be any follow through on this purposefully sudden breakup. Even some upcoming confrontation between the characters could wrap up the tension left in the air. The narrative doesn’t need tropes or some rom-com ending to be narratively satisfying! It can end tragically and still fee resolved.
Most fans’ issue with this is that they did this for the short-term drama, not for the long-term story telling.
—Sincerely, a novelist (a VERY different writing form) who writes tragedies and recently finished a gay romantic tragedy that ends—well—with a break up.
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kyuusberry · 9 months ago
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stay | aespa ningning - drabble
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pairing: gf!ningning x gn!reader
genre/theme: fluff, university au
warnings: kissing, cuddling
ib: key to your heart (ningning's part)
notes: all of my stories, oneshots, drabbles, ect are all fiction (fake/made up) except for the idols!! my stories do not depict how these idols actually act or their sexual orientation (straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, aromantic, ect). the only time you'll ever read semi-true things is if it's my headcanons then i do use some facts from kprofiles and sometimes youtube videos but that's it.
a/n: mootie mention @rosiehrs <33 made this for my girl, kai!! go follow her, her stories are amazing!! chef's kiss!! divider credits @plutism
cis men, homophobes, racists, 20+, smut accounts dni
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you and ning just finished watching a movie together and ningning was smiling and giggling while playing with your hair, glad to be able to hang out with you after a long week of finals.
you checked your phone for the time.
9:34pm 21:34
"hey, ning. i gotta go soon. it's getting late," you muttered.
"nooooo," she whined, frowning and grabbing onto your arm.
"i have to go home and finish my homework."
"just stay here, i can help you!" she held your arm tighter.
"i left it at home," you frowned.
"please, yn. stay."
you debated on whether or not you should stay or go home. i mean your apartment wasn't too far from hers, so it should be fine.. it's just that you didn't want to walk there and come back. you frowned.
ningning looked at you with puppy dog eyes, "don't leave me alone.. please?" she begged.
you sighed, it was only a 3 minute walk, "fine."
she smiled brightly, kissing you all over your face and hugging you. this made you smile a bit. being able to make her happy. it made you feel good. you got up and put on your shoes.
"wanna come with me?" you smiled.
she smiled back, just brighter, "yeah!" she instantly got up and put on a pair of shoes and a jacket, handing your jacket to you as well.
"promise you'll actually help me with my homework and not goof off?" you raised an eyebrow.
she nodded, "of course, love."
you smiled softly, she was probably gonna get bored and do her own thing at some point, but you could care less. as long as she was happy, you were too, "let's go then."
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cowboylikeyouu · 9 days ago
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i finally watched the making of deadpool & wolverine and wrote down every thought that popped up into my mind while watching, have fun lol
god hugh jackman is gorgeous
they’re talking about all the different ideas they had for this movie and honestly??? i would eat up every single one of them they should still do it lol
god hugh jackman is GORGEOUS
man i missed them sm i haven’t watched dp&w in TWO MONTHS?????
i will never shut up about the deadpool suit in this movie it’s SO AWESOME it’s a blessing for my eyes every time it’s on screen
"that’s what we were striving for with rdj in endgame, is to give this iconic fictional character an amazing ending." yeah well only that endgame‘s ending SUCKED and i will never forgive anyone for it <3
ugh hugh jackman is gorgeous
i could watch him speak forever
i‘m SO glad ryan made that "i should use his body as a weapon" pitch bc GODDAMN that opening scene will never get old
ahhhhhh i love that we‘re getting some insight in the stunt/fight stuff, SO interesting !! the shitty iphone test videos are hilarious
they should’ve made a "he ACTUALLY broke his toe when he kicked that helmet!!!!" reference when ryan kicked logan‘s skull lmao
the marry puppins SNOGGING ryan bts clips will never get old lmao funniest shit ever
THE SUIT LOOKS SO GOOD UGHHHH am i having a gender or a sexuality crisis over it???? guess we’ll never know
EMMA CORRIN ILYSM
shout out to british people gotta be one of my fav genders fr
all the different lines ryan screamed out of the honda????😭😭 honestly they should’ve just kept all of these idc about logic
EMMA CORRIN
"and i knew the fans would love it" ohhh hugh i think we all love it a bit too much
"and yet, i wouldn’t say wolverine is a straight man" awesome, thanks, case fucking CLOSED.
"which i don’t recommend, sending a 10 minute voice memo to anyone"
*me looking at the five 10-20 minute voicemails i send my friends every single day*
THE SUITS LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER (their asses do as well)
GOD hugh jackman is gorgeous
"what we refer to as the van fight" no babe that’s the honda odyssey sex marathon actually!!
"violence is our love language" ITS CONFIRMED (everyone knew. BUT STILL)
choreographing this scene (all the deadpool vs wolverine fight scenes really) must’ve been SO FUN like UGH just coming up with all this violence knowing that it won’t affect your characters in the long haul and you can add of many of it as you want????? THE DREAM
THEM HUGGING IN THE HONDA???😭😭 brb gotta cry
I LOVE YOU EMMA CORRIN
CHRIS EVANS LOML
it’s unfair how attractive he is i‘m gonna throw up
reminder to myself to finally learn johnny‘s monologue i wanna be able to randomly hit people with it
OHHHH i actually did NOT realize that was hulk‘s bed from ragnarok??? which is weird bc i used to watch that movie religiously. but hey that’s so cool!!
channing tatum talking about gambit is so heartwarming man so happy for him😭
jennifer garner is so pretty i‘m so gay lord help
me
dafne keen‘s voice sounds SO different when she’s not playing laura, CRAZY
EMMA CORRIN MY LOVE
just once just ONCE i wanna walk through a street filme set like this UGH it looks so cool & surreal
"this is our baby yoda" i have to be this annoying person i‘m sorry but HIS NAME IS GROGU
i don’t know shit about music but i could listen to people talk about movie scores for hours on end (how did you know sideways is my fav youtube video essayist???)
good fucking god hugh jackman is gorgeous
lmao they should’ve kept the "zoooombies wake uuuppp" again, idc about logic
EMMA CORRIN ‼️‼️‼️
ohh hugh jackman is gorgeous (put your greasy tits away you preening slut)
ugh i‘m getting emotional help
well that was awesome, gonna cry myself to sleep now byeee
(have i mentioned how gorgeous hugh jackman is?)
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darlingofdots · 2 months ago
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What is a romance novel, really?
So far, the response to this post has mostly shown me that a lot of people don't actually know what a romance novel is, and that's okay! I don't expect everyone to know! However, for my own peace of mind, I am going to do my best to explain what we mean when we talk about romance novels, where the genre comes from, and why you should not dismiss the pastel cartoon covers that are taking over the display tables at your nearest chain bookshop. Two disclaimers up front: I've been reading romance novels since I was a teenager, and have dedicated the majority of my academic career to them. I'm currently working on my PhD and have presented/published several papers about the genre; I know what I'm talking about! Secondly, all genres are fake. They're made up. But we use these terms and definitions in order to describe what we see and that's a very important part of science, including literary studies!
The most widely used definition of "romance novel" to this day is from Pamela Regis' 2003 A Natural History of the Romance Novel, in which she states that "A romance novel is a work of prose fiction that tells the story of the courtship and betrothal of one or more [protagonists]."* People also refer to the Romance Writers of America's "a central love story and an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending" and another term you will see a lot is "Happily Ever After/Happy For Now," which posits that the protagonists must be in a committed and happy relationship at the end of the novel in order to count as a romance novel. That's it. That's what a romance novel is.
Of course it's a bit more complex than that; Regis also posited the Eight Essential Elements which describe the progression of the love plot over the course of the book, and there's a similar breakdown from Gwen Hayes in Romancing the Beat that is intended more as writing advice, but both of these are really useful for breaking down how this narrative structure works. My personal favourite part of the Eight Elements is that the romance opens with a definition of the society in which the protagonists exist, which is flawed in a way that oppresses them, and then the protagonists either overcome or fix it in a way that enables them to achieve their HEA. A lot of social commentary can happen this way!
It can also be a bit difficult to pin down what exactly counts as a "central love story" because who decides? A lot of stories have romance arcs in them, including dudebro action movies and noir mystery novels, but you would never argue that the romance is the central plot. A lot of romance novels have external plots like solving a mystery or saving the bakery. A useful question to ask in this case is whether the external plot exists for its own sake or to facilitate the romance: when Lydia runs off with Wickham in Pride & Prejudice, it's so that Lizzie can find out how much Darcy contributed to saving her family from scandal and realise her own feelings for him. The alien abduction in Ice Planet Barbarians happens specifically so the abducted human women can meet and fall in love with the hunky aliens. There are definitely grey areas here! Romance scholars argue about this all the time!
I have a suspicion that a lot of people who responded to the post I linked above are not actually romance readers, which is fine, but it really shows the lack of understanding of what a romance novel is. I have a secondary suspicion that the way we have been talking about books has contributed to this miscategorisation in a lot of people's minds, because especially with queer books we will often specifically point out that this fantasy book is f/f! This dystopian novel has a gay love story! This puts an emphasis on the romance elements that are present in a book when a lot of the time, the romance arc is just flavouring for the adventure/uprising/heist and we are pointing it out only because its queerness makes it stand out against other non-queer titles. It makes sense why we do this, but there is SUCH a difference between "a sci-fi book with an f/f romance arc" and "an f/f sci-fi romance." I could talk for hours about how the romance genre has evolved alongside and often in the same way as fanfiction and how there are codes and tropes that come up again and again that are immediately recognisable to romance readers, even down to phrases and cover design, and how romance is an incredibly versatile and diverse genre that functions in a very specific way because of that evolutionary process. The same way that dedicated fantasy readers can trace the genealogy of a given text's influences ("this writer definitely plays a lot of DnD which has its roots in the popularity of Tolkien, but they're deliberately subverting these tropes to critique the gender essentialism"), romance readers are often very aware of the building blocks and components of their books. These building blocks (that's what tropes are, lego pieces you put together to create a story!) often show up in other genres as well, especially as part of romantic arcs, but that doesn't make every book that features Only One Bed a romance novel, you know?
Romance is an incredibly versatile and diverse genre and I really highly recommend exploring it for yourself if you haven't. I personally read mostly Regency/Victorian historicals and I've been branching out into specifically f/f contemporaries, and there are so many authors who are using the romance framework to tell beautiful, hard-hitting stories about love and family while grappling with issues of discrimination, disability, mental health, capitalism, you name it. The genre has a very specific image in a lot of people's minds which makes them resistant to it and it's not entirely unjustified, but there is so much more to it than Bridgerton and repackaged Star Wars fanfiction!**
*the original text said "heroines" but Regis later revised this. There is a very good reason for the focus on the heroine in the first couple waves of romance scholarship, but that's a different post!
**neither of these are a bad thing and part of that genealogy that I mentioned earlier.
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aceing-on-the-cake · 9 months ago
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Compulsory Heterosexuality Info Dump
So because a friend of mine didn't know what comp het was and their internet history is monitored by their parents so they can't just use google, I'm doing a very quick research dive and giving you guys the results in case there are others out there who are in the same situation. I'll also be tagging blogs bigger than me because again, there might be fellow queers out their who are in the same boat as my friend and I want them to have access to this information.
So what is compulsory heterosexuality (or comp het)?
Comp het is in essence the societal belief and enforcement of being straight.
What does this mean?
In basic form it means that the only options presented to everyone, from the moment of birth, is that of a cis, amatonormative, heterosexual lifestyle.
You are given two gender options, these gender options determine the two roles you're allowed to fulfill, husband and wife, and you are told that these two roles are what will make you happy and are what you are supposed to strive for.
Meaning society, if you are born AFAB, tells you you're going to one day get married, it's going to be a boy, and this is what will make you happy. Almost everything in life is then seen through this lens. How attractive your are, how you are supposed to talk, how you're supposed to behave, etc is all considered through the lens of if a man will be attracted to you.
On the flip side, if you are born AMAB society tells you there are roles you have to fulfill as well. You are told you will one day want a wife, that you have to be able to have a job to provide for her, that you have to behave in a certain emotional way to be strong for her, that if the things you like are too feminine well then you're gay or a girl which is a problem because at the end of the day you're supposed to want the girl-fiance-wife.
This literally just sounds like the patriarchy.
Yes, it does, because it's caused by it. Nowadays people commonly know about compulsory heterosexuality from the Lesbian Masterdoc, but the term actually originated by Adrienne Rich in 1980.
Adrienne Rich in her article Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence put forward three ideas, 1) that heterosexuality and lesbianism were institutions themselves/possible political ideologies, 2) that heterosexuality as a system if not constantly maintained and upheld would eventually crumble and 3) that heterosexuality as a system could be opted out of and actively fought against whether or not you were actually attracted to women/non-women.
This is very different from the way we currently think of and define those terms, I am aware of that, but her point does still stand to some degrees that comp het, cisnormativity and amatonormativity all crumble when we stop rigidly enforcing the structures that uphold them, i.e., the patriarchy, misogyny, classism, and racism.
Ok but like what does that actually look like?
It can look like a lot of things, for a lot of different people. In the Lesbian Masterdoc you see comp het presented from a straightforward lesbian lens (of a 19 year old figuring out and defining their own sexuality guys, I'm not gonna sit here and critique it and rip it to death, go do that somewhere else).
This is therefore presented through things like women/non-women who were raised/socialized as women possibly having crushes on men, but they're always unattainable in some way (celebrities, fictional, someone real but they wouldn't actually ever be able to truly be in a relationship with, etc). It might also show up for lesbians as liking the idea of a man but being uncomfortable when one actually wants to move forward in the process. Or even sometimes it might show up as sexual fantasies with men but they're faceless, they're more an idea, or you're actually viewing another woman sleeping with him.
This presentation of comp het has made a lot of bi/pan/mspec people uncomfortable because they feel they too have experiencing comp het and when reading the Lesbian Masterdoc it's presented as if experiencing this is a straight shot towards being a lesbian.
And they're right that comp het isn't experienced by just lesbians. For mspecs who present feminine/as women this could be in the feeling that they have to dress a certain way to be presentable, but presentable is based on appealing to men. This can mean something as simple as women are expected to wear makeup, always, regardless of if they're looking to seek men's attention or not, because that's the base standard.
For mspecs who present masculine this can look like the inability to express themselves in an overly emotional manner because that doesn't make them "strong" and if they're not "strong" then they won't attract women, and that's what they're supposed to be doing.
For mspecs in general that can look like their queer looking relationships to be seen as a phase even if their mspec-ness is respected because of course they're eventually going to get married to a man/woman.
This can affect polyamorous cishet people in that they're seen as doing heterosexuality wrong because you're supposed to have the one partner and the 2.5 kids.
This can affect aspecs because they're told they'll never truly feel fulfilled if they don't have that boyfriend/girlfriend/partner to love them in a way that's so special nothing else could match up.
This affects all of us guys is my point.
How is this helpful to me?
Well for sapphics and lesbians (or sapphics/mspecs confused on if they are actually lesbians) this can be a helpful concept to consider because it can help you determine what relationships you truly want to pursue, which is the main point I feel is to be gained from the Lesbian Masterdoc. As she's put it "it's way more important to ask yourself if you can be truthfully happy with a man than if you’re attracted to them"
So if you're a sapphic who experiences attraction to men but you honestly can't ever see yourself willingly entering into a relationship with them, consider the idea of comp het.
If you're Achillean the opposite of this can be true, if you've been attracted to women before but honestly can't ever see yourself willingly entering into a relationship with them, consider whether comp het is working on you.
For mspecs this can be a helpful term to throw over the table back at your parents when they ask when you're going to get a "real relationship".
This can be a helpful term to consider when asking "am I forcing myself to wear mascara because I feel this is the only way I look presentable or do I actually like mascara."
Or it can be a helpful concept to look back on when undermining our internalized ideals of misogyny, towards ourselves and others.
This is a helpful term to put in our tool boxes to talk about the harm the systems of patriarchy, classism, and racism impose upon us.
Comp het can help us to understand why so many people look down on polyamory as a legitimate way of life.
It can be a helpful term for aspecs who are trying to figure out if they really want to date/have sex, or if they just believe these are the only things that will make you happy.
In general
Compulsory heterosexuality is just another term to describe a system we are all intimately familiar with. But by giving us the words to describe our experiences, it gives us the power to communicate those experiences more effectively, and to possibly understand why we're experiencing them.
This is just a bare basic knowledge post.
Honestly if you have the ability to, as in your internet history is not monitored in the way my friend's is, I encourage you to go on the deep dive through the sources listed below. Many of them are honestly only 30 pages long, that's a relatively short read, and understanding queer theory like this not only helps you to understand your own identity, but the ways in which you are connected to the rest of the fellow queer community.
Sources
Lesbian Masterdoc
Queer Theory 101: Compulsory Heterosexuality
Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence
Normativities Defined
Taglist
I'm tagging blogs bigger than me so that this has an easier time getting passed around as I mainly talk about aspec issues because I am aspec, but as stated above, I wanted to make sure that queer people who's internet histories are monitored and are only able to find information through tumblr safely could do so.
@our-queer-experience @our-sapphic-experience @our-lesbian-experience @our-aspec-experience @our-polyamorous-experience @our-pansexual-experience @our-unlabelled-experience @our-aroace-experience @our-mspec-experience @our-questioning-experience @our-bisexual-experience
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carowleysposts · 1 year ago
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When I tell you I NEED Aziraphale and Crowley to kiss again, I mean it.
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Anyone who thinks asexual people don’t kiss (or don’t have sex, but that’s not the point of this post) is misinformed. Asexual people - or celestial beings, for that matter - absolutely can and do express feelings and desires by acting physically upon them. Many ace people enjoy the sensations, the nuances, the feelings involved in the physical expressions of love - the only difference is HOW they experience attraction, which has NOTHING to do with kissing or sex, but with what motivates wanting to do those things.
With that said, let’s go back to everyone’s favorite idiots: Aziraphale and Crowley.
During their kiss, you can literally see them pulling each other in, like they need to be as close as physically possible in that moment. You can see it as Aziraphale embraces Crowley for a split second, and you can see it as Crowley throws himself onto Aziraphale more and more during the kiss. He can’t even pull back for a single second, not even to adjust to the kiss - he just GLUES his lips to Aziraphale’s.
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Aziraphale’s look after the kiss CANONICALLY means “do it again, please, right now”, as Rob Wilkins already clarified. And that is writing perfection. It creates the angst - the cue - we need to make sure a second kiss - the reward - happens. I’ve been saying this in almost every post, but here i go again: the whole point of angst is that it HAS to pay off eventually, it HAS to be followed by relief, otherwise it’s just angst for the sake of angst.
Aziraphale mouths “no” as Crowley is leaving. He doesn’t say it, but he wants to. Whatever that means, whatever the reason for the “rejection” after the kiss was, the kiss changed something. He wasn’t expecting it, but he was heartbroken to see that Crowley thought he didn’t want it. You can see him not being able to keep his eyes off the door - and later on, off the window he can see Crowley through. He almost changes his mind - and that is still true even if he had a plan all along, he didn’t think Crowley would KISS him and that blows his mind.
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He touches his lips after Crowley leaves. He relives that moment by doing so, but also realizes something completely new: Crowley did what Aziraphale had spent millennia wishing for him to do, but did it in the worst possible moment. He almost loses the strength to carry on with whatever it is his plan required. But he doesn’t. He pulls it together, and goes back to heaven.
Wether Crowley knows he has a plan (the “trust me” theory) or believes he was truly rejected, they both know they crossed that line for good. They both know that, if they’re ever reunited, they will never be able to act like platonic friends again. Aziraphale, in a beautifully made parallel to the ox rib scene, realizes he had been starving for Crowley’s touch. And that is just absolutely beautiful.
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If you’ve seen my post about why this couple NEEDS a happy ending, you already know why i think Good Omens is the perfect show to give queer couples back their hopes for love. I think we are all tired of the tragic gays / couple baiting fictional couples. Now we need the happily ever after. The fairytale. The cheesy, chaotic, rom-com-y, EPIC resolution. We NEED them to kiss again. We NEED them to be happy.
I REST MY CASE.
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luciferfemme · 1 year ago
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LESBIAN ASKS: the SHE-QUEL (messy edition?)
What are some real thoughts about the community that you don’t always feel like you can say?
Are you a messy dyke (relationship-wise or friendship-wise?)
Are you a UHaul Lesbian? If so is this something you like or dislike about yourself?
Do you fall in love easily?
Do you enjoy casual sex?
Have you ever fallen for a best friend?
Have you ever fallen for a straight girl?
Whose aesthetic would you like to steal?
At one Tumblr user and tell them something nice
Do you think you could be happy alone?
Do you like tacky things?
How has your style and taste changed since you came out?
Have you ever dated a man and what was that experience like?
Tell me about your significant other. Now’s your time to gush.
Have you ever had a best friend that you HATED their partner? Did you tell them?
Do you think you have good taste in partners? (Be Honest)
Do you feel comfortable around straight people?
What’s your favorite part about pride?
What’s the gayest thing you’ve ever done (that isn’t like actually “gay”?)
Who is your role model?
What is your relationship like with your parent(s)?
Did you lose friends coming out?
Tell me a gay secret.
What advice would you give to those just coming out (baby gays?)
If you could excommunicate one LGBTQIA+ person from the community who would it be and why?
What is your favorite part about being a lesbian (and you can’t just say, women)
What is your favorite line of Sapphic poetry (not necessarily written by Sappho herself just in general)
What was your Aha moment regarding your sexuality?
What was a sign you should have recognized sooner that you were gay?
Did you have any celebrity crushes growing up? 
Tell me your idea of the most romantic date you could imagine? Have you ever been on it?
What’s your favorite lesbian joke (you cannot say yourself)
What is your favorite lesbian love story (real or fiction)
Who do you most admire?
Write a love letter without using the words love, beautiful, or handsome
What is a piece of media you wish existed but doesn’t?
We all have terrible opinions sometimes, what’s something you had a bad opinion about but you’ve grown on?
Have you told yourself you are fabulous, beautiful, handsome, lovable, worthy today?
Tell me about your bestie
At someone on Tumblr and tell me your favorite thing about them.
At someone on Tumblr and describe their style without using the word -core.
How do you feel about the word dyke?
Could you fall in love with someone from the internet who didn’t leave near you? Have you?
Tell me about an embarrassing story regarding love or relationships
What’s one thing you wish people understood about lesbians?
How would you describe your own style (without using the word -core)
How do you really feel about Valentine’s Day?
Favorite ally?
If you could only pick one item of clothing/makeup/footwear/jewelry to wear forever from the items you already own what would it be and why? (Bonus points if you include a photo)
What gives you absolute joy as a lesbian?
Say something nice about yourself.
If not on anon say something nice about the person who sent you this ask.
Do you enjoy Pride?
What is your type?
What are you looking for in a partner?
If you could manifest one thing for yourself this year what would it be?
Who makes you feel joy?
How do you feel about the lesbian flag?
What is your favorite color combination?
What creature do you align yourself with? (Vampires, werewolves, witches, etc)
What would bring you joy at this moment?
What would "fix you"?
Who did you want to be when you grew up?
Do you ever want to get married if you're not already?
Are you a plant gay? Show off your plants or tell me about your favs.
What is your favorite fantasy (sexual or not)
Who comes to mind immediately when I say lesbian icon?
Who comes to mind immediately when I say lesbian trash?
Besides teleportation what's one superpower you think would make your life better and why?
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halsinkisser · 29 days ago
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🐻 today is my one year anniversary with my lovely boyfriend !!
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tl;dr. i love him a lot. if you needed a reason to do something nice for yourself today, let halsayor day be the reason!!! get yourself a treat, or just give yourself a little break!! i am the king and my word is law/j.
extended gay yapping beneath the cut. <3
i feel like i should say something. but this is embarrassing so im gonna keep this as short as i can ok. for the sake of ur sanity and my dignity.
i've had many f/o's !!!!! especially growing up when i didn't even know what selfshipping was. but no singular f/o has ever affected me this much, in a good way !! he makes me want to be a better person for him. whenever i don't think i deserve to take care of myself, the thought of him encouraging me so gently is sometimes the only thing that can convince me otherwise. i struggle with what most would consider basic tasks, especially socially, but imagining him doing them with me makes it so much easier to stomach that it's embarrassing. his voice helps me sleep nd calm down when i get nervous or scared. he's one of my two reasons to wake up in the morning at this point honestly, the other being my literal best friend and soulmate. just seeing halsins face brightens up my day so much it's CRINGE !! I'M MAKING MYSELF CRINGE !! HELP !!! STOPTTPPPTPP
the point is. i'm very happy to call this stupid bear man my boyfriend, and i'm even happier it's already been a year of that. to many many more!!!! i hope scientists make the fictional character portal real. i need my boyfriend /J.
in celebration i ordered a dumb little cake, pictured here; (pls pretend to take a slice. for the sake of the party!!!!!!)
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taglist !! <3 @arsene-fixates @thenightfallritual @kruxband @your-local-loverboy @vergils-beloved @microwavedfishsticks @readceran @r0sedevil @skyliv
creds : dividers
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welivetodream · 2 months ago
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✨ My BSD hot takes/unpopular opinions ✨:
1. Identifying BSD characters as Queer, is not problematic. STOP being so Heteronormative. Gay characters are not gonna kill you.
If I see another "BuT tHe ChArAcTeRs nEvEr SaId tHeY aRe GaY" I would bomb you 💣/j
2. Skk/SSKK/Fyolai/other popular ships, exist because people like it. If you don't ship them, don't engage with their content. Not all shippers act crazy and toxic. Stop blaming everything on shippers.
3. Atsushi/Kyouka is problematic, stop justifying it with "only 4 year age gap". Kyouka is a CHILD, ship her with Kenji if you want. Atsushi, like a normal 18 year old would never look at a highschool freshman and date her. Even if they date in the future, he knew her when she was younger and they had a sibling like dynamic. Lucy is a way better love interest to Atsushi (Don't know if this is an unpopular opinion tho, but I saw some people justifying it 😐😐😐)
4. DAZAI IS NOT EVIL. HE IS FAR FROM EVIL. He is, despite being super popular and the face of BSD, the most mischaracterized and villified character. Morally grey characters exist??!!!
5. Mori is a way worse person than Dazai ever was.
6. PM members get a free pass for any heinous crime they commit by being hot or babygirl-ified (still love them tho, we do not often discuss how bad their actions have been, you can like criminals and acknowledge they are criminals in fiction. I would add DoA to this too, but it's worse with the PM)
7. Akutagawa's abuse of Kyouka shouldn't be forgotten just because Dazai abused Akutagawa.
8. Mori emotionally manipulated and abused Dazai when he was a teen. Just because it wasn't physical, doesn't mean it was nothing.
9. Atsushi is NOT a soft boy, he is way bitter, salty and sarcastic than we give him credit
10. Poe is important to Ranpo and their friendship/relationship is wholesome as hell
11. Ranpo and Yosano's friendship is way better than them being in a relationship in the future
12. FukuFuku is better than Fukumori (imo!!!!)
13. Buying real authors work after watching BSD is actually a really good thing, since more Gen z kids (or other people) will read classics
14. There are layers to Atsushi and Akutagawa relationship/rivalry, and they have the MOST important relationship (not meaning romantic, just in general) in the entire canon.
15. Kunikida and Yosano could be a power couple
16. Fyodor is not a great villain (yet)
17. Nikolai CARRIES the DoA
18. Sigma shouldn't be in the ADA, he needs a happy home, family and some time to adjust to normal life
19. Q and Elise are both underused characters and could become a great dynamic
20. Ango deserves more love, the amount of pressure and stress he deals with is INSANE
21. It's OKAY if everyone joins the fandom for Dazai or skk (I did at first too!!)
22. Higuchi is annoying as hell. I do not get her hype, I like her but not as much as most people (just personal opinion, do not flame me 😭)
23. Everyone in The Guild is forgettable or boring (except Fitzgerald, Poe and Lucy. I like Louisa, but I forget her all the time)
24. Hetero ships are just not that great/interesting in BSD to me 🤷🏻‍♀️ (except maybe AtsuLucy or rare pairs) and female characters are not best utilised, I wish they play more major roles (can't wait for Agatha to arrive!!)
25. Some fan theories/arts get the story better than "canon" stuff at times. Fanon is NOT always the worst (sometimes enjoyable when the canon gets too dark or sad)
26. Toxic ships are okay in fiction as long as they are legal. Humans like toxic things, we consume it like junk food 💅🏻
(These are all personal opinions of mine and do not matter. Feel free to disagree. But, do not hate or be toxic!!!! 😇😇😇😇)
(PS: I compiled all these because of posts I have seen in, Reddit, Pinterest, Twitter and sometimes Tiktok. These aren't really abt you Tumblr folks. I meant to post this on reddit but did not have the courage or mental strength lol)
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coffeeshopsinfall · 13 days ago
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So like. I basically never read nonfiction, ever, but I just started a memoir called Hijab Butch Blues by Lamaya H, and despite all odds, I'm having a good time.
Anyway, Lamaya H is reading the Quoran one day, and comes to the conclusion that Maryam is gay. And this is really exciting to her, because she's gay, and there's a woman like her in the Quoran! There's a queer woman struggling with mental health in the Quoran that she can relate to. And I'm just. I'm so happy this woman I know nothing about found in religion what so many of us find in fiction and/or fanfiction. It's such an exhilarating feeling to read about people like you, finding out you're not the only one and you're not alone, (which is why representation is so important) and. I just. I'm so so glad she found it.
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