#can somne here help me

[i-promise-i-am-not-on-drugs]

me since last month every times i get up a bit too fast: *fall*

[kyoghurts]

[ 3:02 AM ]. dot barrett/reader. drabble. fluff.

"why the hell are you still awake?"

dot asks in that deep kind of voice that you like, trying to ward off the remains of sleep, it makes you visibly jump, but nonetheless soothing. you know he's not mad, actually, he's more confused than mad.

"crap- sorry, uhm. i promise i'll sleep soon."

"are you still," he stifles his yawn, failing as small tears coat around the edge of his eyes. "still watching that..winky mae or somn" you feel comforting arms sneaking up around your waist, pulling you in his. your back pressed against his warm chest.

"it's maya winky, sleepyhead" you hear him grumble, as if your correction solves anything.

he doesn't really get why you watch her videos frequently. you always claimed it helps you sleep better at night, but honestly, who would believe you when the clock's practically screaming across your shared bedroom, and you still ignore them as you suppress your giggles watching her do your silly makeup or whatever instead.

his grip on you tightens just slightly. mumbling against the skin of your neck, effortlessly making you shiver. "go to sleep. now."

“it’s still a bit early, just a few more minutes and i’ll-”

“now. come sleep with me this time.”

his poor choice of words makes you suffer, your face heats at a concerning degree. and even though you can’t see his expression, it’s one with faint smugness. as if he said it with purpose, with an intent to render you speechless.

it’s not everyday you get to see him like this. dot has had enough, he has to make you listen at some point, the sadness that lingers whenever you excuse to not sleep together as he tells you its fine (a pout on his lips that wrench your heart with guilt) accumulates to this moment. he normally wouldn’t have been this bold, and perhaps you’re blaming it on his weariness, the limits he had constrained himself suddenly worn down on his bones.

“but..” you don’t get to finish your sentence once he starts to invade your neck with lazy kisses, your breathe caught on your throat. “dot wait” he won’t stop, in fact, the way you struggle fuels him even more.

he gently turns you as you face him, insisting. he takes his time to carefully plant his kisses on the slope of your collarbone, the curve of your shoulders, to your chin. they’re meticulous and gentle, it’s kind of sweet, if not for the fact that he’s doing it to make you distracted.

and you do get distracted, you’re not sure when he snatched the phone from your grasp. but it now rests at the top of your nightstand and you don’t think you’ll be needing it anytime soon. your hands busy themselves massaging and combing dot’s hair, he sighs with contentment, and everything tastes like forever.

he’s so pretty like this. his headband being out of sight, his cheeks—though dim as your room may be, the moonlight spills itself on your window and you can see the pink in his complexion this up close. you cup his cheeks for him to look at you, brushing a few strands that sticks to his face and he pecks your nose in response.

“fine.” a chuckle escaping from you that leaves him breathless, “you win.”

“i always do.” he smiles, “and from just a few kisses? i thought i was the one whipped for you here.”

“you don’t think i feel the same?”

the pink turns a little more deep tinted. “ah, but you chose may wink over me”

“maya winky. and no, that’s not true.” with that, comes a long yawn escaping your lips. dot snickers. “to make up for it, how 'bout we cuddle like this together before bed? you can hide my phone somewhere too so i won’t feel tempted.”

“i like what i’m hearing.”

you can’t help but giggle. “and i like you”

“i like you, more”

“nuh uh”

“am too!”

“nuh uh”

"am too"

“just go to bed already”

he pinches your cheek as you wince. “let’s go to bed.”

you slept soundly. limbs tangled and entwined and body’s warm. guess you don’t need that damn phone from now on, and if you do wind up in the same spot once more, you grant your boyfriend the permission to spoil you with kisses, so so much kisses. inevitably falling (for him) into slumber.

want him to cuddle w me until we fall asleep zz

© kyoghurts. ★ reblogs & likes are well appreciated!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Heeey Raven! Just for the Sillies and funsies, did you when you first started the game had a difficult time pronouncing some of the names in the game? :'D

I first started the game in late 2022, so i joined the fandom a bit late, but let me tell you, i had a hard time pronouncing some of the dorm names! Like some of the dorm names that I had a difficult time pronouncing were Pomefiore, Heartslabuyl, Diasomnia, and ESPECIALLY ignihyde and i'm going to be honest i still have problems pronouncing some the dorm names once in a while! 💀

Like i pronounce Pomefiore "Pom-fi-or" (Weirdly enough at the beginning, i pronounced Pomefiore automatically with an "r" as in "Porm-fi-or.) Another example would be with Octavinelle my brain keeps thinking that it's "octovinelle" with an "o" instead of an "a" because i think of OCTOpus when i pronounce Octavinelle! I've also seen some fans pronouncing Octavinelle "oct-tine-ville" or "Octaville," which i think is really funny cuz no one can pronounce it! It's chaotic. 😂

Some goes for Mostro Lounge, i mentally added “n” to Mostro Lounge at the beginning of the game. I used to say Monstro Lounge until I realised that's wrong! 😭

then there's Heartslabuyl! dear fricking god! What a tongue twist! 😭 I used to pronounce and still do heartslabyul "heartzabyul." I don't know how accurate that is, but it's such a mouthful. 🫠

AND The ONE dorm i had the MOST trouble pronouncing was Ignihyde! 💀 and still can't do it right! Again, I've seen some fans pronouncing it "Ichigyde", "igh-knee-hide" or "Igunihaide".

Also, i keep reading Diasomnia as in Diasmonia, I don't know why, but it's automatically DiasMONIA in my head.

This all some weird Mandela effect! 💀

anyway i was actually going to mention some other funny things i misspelt or mistook something in the game when i first started, but this got so long that i'll just end it here and send another ask another day til then See ya! ✌🏻

I've never really had an issue with the unique names that come up in TWST! Everyone's going to be biased to their own ways of pronouncing the words, but personally I find it helps to break things down into smaller bits. I think I didn't have trouble with the dorm names because of this. If you slow down and take your time with them, it's not so hard. For example, I guessed "Pomefiore" must be said as "Pom-eh-fee-or-ay" because "pomme" means apple in French and "fiore" means flower in Italian. Likewise, the "somn" in "Diasomnia" refers to "somnus" in Lain, which means sleep.

Some of the variations in pronunciation naturally occur because the way things are said in Japanese is different than in English. For example, "Ignihyde" is said "Igunihaide" in Japanese, whereas in conventional English is it said as "Igh-knee-hide". Some people will choose to say it the Japanese way, others will say it in the conventional English way, and some will do it another way entirely. (I also want to point out that some words just sound plain awkward to say in English due to differences in what is considered "normal" grammar and syntax from language to language. "Octavinelle" said out loud is such a mouthful in English because we usually don't see this combination of letters.)

I try to not get caught up on whether or not I'm saying the names of new terms (character names, dorm names, etc.) "correctly" or not, because there is sure to be differences anyway, whether between languages or between individual dialects. (I talk about that more in this post!)

P.S. The "Monstro"/"Mostro" Lounge confusion was probably the most common mistake! That comes from a lot of fans assuming that the lounge must be named "Monstro" after the whale in Pinocchio.

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: Somn

Aziraphale’s spent the last three months at the bottom of a bottle, heartbroken. Tracy says his heart will mend itself eventually, but every morning when he wakes up it's like the edges of the piece he ripped out and took with him have gone more ragged. Where he keeps waking up probably isn't helping matters.

Length: 44,674 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Best for: At Home, Hurt/Comfort, Human AU

Triggers: Alcoholism

Read it here, fic by snae_b

*Minor Spoilers* There are a couple of things that drew me to this story when I saw the summary. First, we are used to seeing a lot of fics where Crowley is the one who is a mess and needs taking care of. There's nothing wrong with that dynamic at all, I love those stories. But Aziraphale gets hurt too, and I think his character deserves the chance to be the one to break down and be taken care of. And second, I'm slightly obsessed with the idea of an alcoholic human Aziraphale. It's maybe a weird hill for me to die on, but I fully headcanon that human versions of Aziraphale would have predispositions towards alcoholism. So needless to say, I was eager to see how this story handled the topic.

It did so excellently of course. In this Human AU, Aziraphale has just been swindled by Gabriel. He's lost his collection of rare books, and his heart in the process. With his life in shambles, he starts drinking heavily, which triggers his sleep walking. His sleep walking into his new neighbor Crowley's bed. It sounds like such a heavy story but I promise it's not really. This is about the moving forward, learning how to trust again, how to not only ask for help, but let yourself be helped. It's a really beautiful story.

I have to gush about Crowley a bit here. I loved this version of him. He's playful, silly, eager to help and please. He moves way too fast, not thinking of consequences, nor for what is really appropriate. But if he were more responsible would any of this have happened? Aziraphale needed to be thrown into another whirlwind and be shown that not everyone will hurt him. Crowley was there with open arms, and an unlocked door.

I really loved this story. My heart hurts for Aziraphale, I've had alcoholics in my life, and have my own substance abuse issues. Crowley doesn't fix him, he has to do the work himself, but sometimes you need someone to help you get to a place where you can help yourself. Like I said, this isn't a heavy story, but there are heavy moments so take care of yourself. But there's also some really wonderful, loving, fun sex to balance out the heaviness. So save this one for at home!

Read it here, fic by snae_b

[mariande-drakaina]

Now that I think about it..I think we're so addicted to the internet that everyone's becoming sensitive. I mean, I'm sensitive to a sad extent or at least just a little pout extent, not, "I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU" extent. Everyone else is that way and I wonder if they ever take any anger management classes or something. I mean, I get it, the world's falling apart pretty much and we're desensitized over almost everything but making a war in the comments because of some joke is uh..it's kinda crazy, y'know?

Another few things. We're so used to seeing a form of media (music, movies, skits, etc.) come out soon or later that we cannot wait, and become aggressive about it. Most people are so used to being on the internet that they're just impatient about what's coming out and then bash the creator just because it's not coming out the exact date. Sure, it's kind of annoying, but still. People act like creators don't have lives. Everyone has a life. It's not just creating stuff, they have lives to also focus on. I mean, there's literal creators for a reason. They can make bank when they're creating some things, it just takes time for that path to go where they want it to go. Hell, sometimes it doesn't even need to go for their expectations and it'll still go higher than what they thought.

Not to mention, so many people get attacked just because they say something. For example, "I don't like (Media:) because of (reason:)" like dudes, calm down, it is JUST their opinion. If you're gonna criticize, just try to make it constructive. If I ever made art or writing prompts and stuff, please make it constructive. We need these things so we can learn our mistakes as well. I'm not saying your opinion is a mistake; however, if people are just saying their opinion and it doesn't seem like how everyone thinks it would be, that's okay, because we all think differently, regardless of who we are. We're supposed to learn, be better, grow, communicate, etc. We're not supposed to be crazy ass people that think it's okay to just bully a person just because of their opinions on certain amounts of things. Now depending on what they're saying, they might, just might, get that treatment. However, at this point of time, everyone's brains are devolving.

I don't even want to go further into detail on what's actually going on with any sexes 'round here. I know if I did right now, everyone would try to criticize me just because I spoke up for myself, or just the internet's issue. I've already had a few people bash me on here just because I was talking about how Media is quite seriously taking over everyone's minds, controlling them. But hey, who am I to judge on that, right?

...

Right..?

(Anyway, If I had a dollar for every time I talked about Media and how it affects people, I'd probably be a millionaire or more, especially with shipping problems. You cannot implement your weaknesses and then try to say, "it's because of (insert reason)" when y'all are like shipping family members or somn - this is for any cest really. Age gaps, relations, or even..the uhm..bleh, animal ones. Jail, jail, jail. Moving on.)

Anyhow, I hate being this way, but Media has really been shutting down people's bodies recently. I just need y'all to know that you wonderful people can get the help you need. If you need me to send some links from across the world, I will. Whether it's suicide hotlines, or some form of mental health numbers. I don't want y'all to become these people, because (usually) they'll never change. Getting the help you need is available anywhere, everywhere..

...

Usually.

Anyhow, uhm..uh..

¿Adios?

[b0rtney]

Can. Can I ask you about the fic where SQQ doesn’t push LBH into the abyss.

YES U CAN AND WHAT A GREAT ASK TO WAKE UP TO

so basically. Sqq, as in canon I think, sees the System say “yea u COULD not push him into the abyss, it’ll cost u 10k pts tho” and sqq goes “game on bitch” and starts collecting points like crazy. Ofc that’s not enough tho so he gets to the conference and there’s a big ol crack in the ground and he only has like 7k-8k pts and the System is like “u gotta do it bro. U gotta” and sqq is like “bro, look at that sweet trusting little face. I can’t do this shit to him” and the System is like “U Have To For Plot” and from here it could go one of two ways:

1. Sqq says “uh no fuck u and fuck that” and jumps into the abyss himself, determined to get the Xin Mo sword FOR lbh and come back in like a week or two, cue lbh going “AAAAAHHHH SHIZUN WHYYY WOULD U JUMP OFF A CLIFF???” And all of the sect is like. Losing it. And sqh is like “???? Sir???? That is NOT the plot I wrote” but then he does manage to come back after like a week w the sword and mbj is like “sqh I brought back ur bestie” or somn idk but whatever it is it’ll be FUNNY

OR

2. Sqq says “uhh fuck that and fuck u, u won’t kill me anyways, lil bitch Boi system, get fucked” and then the System says “dbdbdbdh >:o no pts for u!! Punishment time!!!” And sqq basically passes out and does the Bing-Ge Arm Removal Punishment earlier in plot meanwhile lbh is Losing His Shit and Sobbing while he gets sqq back to the sect and sqh is like “??? Bro wait if ur passed out, and he’s over there, and I’m here— who’s grabbing xin mo???” And basically when sqq wakes up he’s like “oof ouch my fictional arm” and lbh says “🥺 shizunnn can I help in any way?? 💕” and sqq says “yea we’re going on a pilgrimage to The Abyss to Learn About Ur Heritage or somn” and that’s his excuse to go with him in a safe and guided field trip to pick up xin mo in case they ever need it.

In EITHER case I would probly make Lbh a few years older at the time of the conference bc age differences make me feel icky

[honeyfuturehousewife]

Wash day help headcannons

Shinsou - taking the style down

• i think he would actually enjoy the process instead of seeing it like a chore

• Like it's so simple and repetitive that yall would just be vibing to music and talkin or watching something while unraveling each section

• also when I see those interracial couples on tiktok doin this, the dude always usin a rat tail comb or somn

• But I feel like he would stop doin that after a while and just use his fingernails cuz they kinda long

• Not in a nasty way, but lyyyk in a Oh I forgot to trim these typa way, ya get me??

• He just seem overgrown to me idk 💀

• Like a garden or some sht

• N e ways!

• When your arms get tired and you take a break, it better not be a long one cuz this mf gon be like "Oh my shift over and be slump on yo bed bruh

• Mans is roofliss ong

• But say you wanted to get done soon and he'll take down a couple more before teasing you to get back to work with him

• And if yall was together or he was feelin you then he would let you rest a little

• Maybe even detangle a little and massage your scalp while admiring the goddess in front of him <3

• And then tell you to get back to work with him 💀 </3

• If you try and mess with him like touchin all up on the section he's doing then the first time he's gonna think you're checking his progress

• The second time he like "Ohhh she fckin wit me and shove your hand away

• The third time he gon shove yo head forward

• And say some "I was tryna to get to the one back here" face ass

• Whole time you can hear that smirk in his voice

• Ohp I wrote so muchhh 😩

• Can yall tell I wanna put a ring on his finger 🥴

-----

• could yall imagine Bakugou doin this sht??

• Mf prolly gon try and make it a competition

• "You're still doing that same one?? Hurry your slow ass up, I already got through four!" 🗣

• Like nigga, go to town den. Ion wanna do this ✋🏾🥴

• In MY room, in MY head, sayin that bullsh- 🤠

Any support/comments are appreciated <3 I'm just blabbering on here tbh

[b0rtney]

so i am neurodivergent and it slipped under the radar for about two decades bc i never caused disruptions to *other ppls* lives w it, but there were absolutely signs (not the discussion we're having, moving on) and i was absolutely receiving support for them

in elementary school, i would finish my work early and then become so bored i'd do things like cut off chunks of my hair, pick at my skin, and, ofc, doodle on my worksheets. i was encouraged to bring books to class, but i'd finish a book before the end of the day and be left desperately bored again, so i had a standing agreement w my teachers and the librarian that they would hand me all the worksheets at once, and when i was done i could raise my hand, they would check them to make sure i actually was doing them, and then i could go to the library until it was time to go to lunch/etc. was i missing out on being """"part of the class"""? sure. but i wasnt making friends anyway so its not like i was losing much, and this kept me from bodily harm as a method of getting stimulus.

in high school, bc of the way break periods were structured and the fact that i was in a sport, my caloric needs were higher and if i didnt meet them i would start spontaneously crying. especially for my last period class, which we were not allowed to eat in (as with every class lol), i would frequently just. start crying. mid-class. it was incredibly embarrassing but the teacher was like u can eat in here as long as u dont make it like super obvious. suddenly i was back to being able to comfortably engage in class.

throughout high school and college, i had standing agreements w many teachers and profs to bring my crochet to class, bc having somn to do w my hands was both soothing and helped me focus (esp during class discussions), and they never had an issue.

as far as being late to class, which is another one i have struggled with and got my only detention relating to: i had a single mom who was working 80 hr weeks to support us, and i was in charge of getting her and everyone else up and ready in the morning from a young age. so if i, a child, didn't wake my mother up on time for her to get ready, we were late. she was usually pretty good about it, but my older sibling (esp) younger brother were not and often caused a huge ruckus about everything in the morning. it is virtually never in a child's control what time they get to school. punishing them for that is fucked up. all of the things on that list (and more) is fucked up.

this has been long and rambly, but the TLDR is that when u give kids accommodations around these things, they are usually able to be better students, when u deny them (usually for stupid fucking reasons), they invariably struggle more.

[ryqoshay]

UW - A Perfect World: Somnial

Flagship: N/A Starring: Karin, Kanata Rating: G Words: 652 AU: A Perfect Dimension (?) Fandom: Love Live Nijigasaki Parent Fic: Unstable World Time Frame: ??? Event: Promptober 2022 Event Source: Idol Fanfic Heaven channel on Discord Prompt: Somnial

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Author’s Note: Bonus 2nd entry for Oct 24th

Summary: Karin seeks a solution to her insomnia

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Somnial? Karin read the sign.

What kind of name was that? And what was with the cutesy motif of the sign? Softly glowing violet light against a neutral background. And the letters were surrounded by simple icons of fluffy sheep. It made Karin tired just looking at it.

But maybe that was good. Emma had recommended she come here to cure for her insomnia. Wait, both of those words had somn in them. Maybe somnial meant getting sleep, the opposite of insomnia?

Well, whatever. Karin pushed through the door and shuffled into the shop.

The lobby area was… soft. That was the only way to describe it. Couches laden with pillows lined the walls and the gentle smell of lavender and… chamomile? floated in the air. Even the plush rugs looked comfortable enough to sleep on. Perhaps Emma was on to something.

At the back of the lobby was a small desk, atop which was a tousled mess of light brown hair.

“Uhm… hello?” Karin said tentatively as she approached. No response. “Hello?”

“Yeah, yeah… I hear ya…” A drowsy voice drawled before a pajama-clad arm rose up. “Go ‘head an’ take your usual spot.” The hand motioned in the general direction of a nearby door.

“But this is my first time here?”

The head popped up. “A new customer?”

Cute. Was Karin’s first thought as her gaze found amethyst… no, the woman’s eyes were too soft to compare to solid gemstones. Her bedraggled appearance was oddly adorable as she pushed herself to a sitting position, not seeming to notice or care as her pajama shirt slipped off her shoulder.

Well, cute… but not as cute as Emma… maybe…

“Welcome to Somnial.” The woman greeted. “Where I make all your dreams.”

“Come true?”

The woman laughed lightly and shook her head. “No, silly. Kanata-chan literally make dreams here.”

“Oh…”

“And you look like you could use some good ones.” Kanata? stood slowly. “Come, let me show you my wares.” She beckoned Karin follow through the door. “Oh, before I forget, your name?”

“Karin. Asaka Karin.”

“Oho…” Kanata paused and gave Karin a thorough look over. “You’re the one Emma-chan sent. She should have warned me you were so… dashingly lovely. Perhaps Kanata-chan’s dream could come true.” She laughed at her own joke.

“I… uhm…” Karin could feel heat in her cheeks.

“Anyway, let Kanata-chan find something that will help Karin-chan stop needing to hide the bags under her eyes with makeup.”

She’s already jumped to using chan? Wait, she could see those under my eyes? Damnit, I need to pay better attention in the morning… Did Emma see them too? Why didn’t she say anything? Geez…

“Let’s see…” Kanata roamed through several displays of sleep aids. “We’ve got some wonderful teas and lotions and bath salts, oh and plenty of incense.”

“I’ve tried those kinds of things.”

“Well, then we can go the high-tech route. If you have an adaptor, I can run one of many programs designed to help you sleep.”

“Mm…” Karin felt herself sneer.

“There are also magic and psionic solutions, ranging from simple hypnosis to more powerful commands. Oh, I know…” Kanata picked up a wand. “Sleep spell. Simple but effective. No side effects unless you have an aversion to the arcane.”

“Uhm, Emma mentioned I could try things here?”

“Of course!” Kanata smiled. “You can use Room 3. I rent in 90-minute intervals, as that is the typical length of a full sleep cycle. You need to reach REM to enjoy your dreams.”

“Can I try one, then add more if I need them?”

“Absolutely.” Kanata then opened the door and handed the wand and a slip to Karin. “Once you’re settled, read this phrase. I’ll come by to check on you after.”

“Thank you.”

“Dream well.”

Karin climbed into an exceptionally comfortable bed, read the phrase. And slipped into the best sleep she had in ages.

---------

Author’s Note Continued: Not the messed up background I gave Maki and Nico here in the Paragon dimension. But that doesn’t mean I lack plans...

[ackermans-freedom-inc]

Yoooo after that tattoo submission... Tattooed Levi?? Could be for Thirsty Thursday, too. Like just tattoos turning reader hella on and she likes tracing them during/after sex or smn. If otherwise, maybe like reader wants to get a tat? Or Levi's getting his first one? COULD BE OTHER WAY AROUND TOO FOR EVERYTHING. Like Levi being a lil hoe for reader's tat or somn 👀 YOU CHOOSE IDK

MY CAT FRIEND!!! Here is this monstrosity of a fic that took up almost all my time to thirst...Pls enjoy (; 

Not gonna tag this as thirsty thursday bc its mostly plot but still...v spicy. (I also apologize in advance to Star - somehow we had fics on the same day that had the whole “mine” thing so IM SORRY I WASNT TRYING TO DO IT AT THE SAME TIME O GOD)

Moot: Fake court! It’s like real court but staged – can be a part of a competition to see who can come up with the best arguments to a legal question, or just for fun!

Summary Judgement: dismissing a case before it goes to trial

My friend: what opposing counsel calls each other in court

Receiver General: the entity that takes and makes payments to the government (like for taxes etc)

I think that’s all the vocab…pls hit me up for more vocab if there’s something you would like explained!

((Continuation of my lawyerAU series – read THIS for all the deets, but basically, reader is in mergers and acquisitions, Levi is a senior partner of Tax, and shares Hanji as a legal secretary between himself and reader.  Erwin is the managing partner; Petra is his secretary. Mike is another lawyer, his secretary is Moblit.))

_____

Moot

The whole firm was abuzz, all the practice groups and their partners and senior partners gathered around the in the massive library at the firm. Where the desks usually were was now empty, save for a podium, a judge’s stand and a chair for the witness.

It was moot day.

A rare occurrence at the firm to begin with, the associates and first years got to see the moots happen around once a year, but this time. This time would be special.

Levi was for the plaintiff, and everyone came out to watch him moot. The man rarely went to court these days, most of his cases either getting dropped by opposing counsel when they realize who he was or settling for a more than fair amount he would negotiate. Not many people got to witness his performance in court, but if Erwin’s recounting of their law school days were anything to go off by, Levi was an absolute powerhouse.

The poor bastard that started this, was Jean. He was an associate, a good one at that, but had gotten a little cocky after landing a client. Yes, the client was a family friend of his, and yes, they called him ‘Jean-bo’, but they were a client, nonetheless.

All the other associates had gotten tired of his constant bragging that he was the best associate of the bunch and had ruthlessly put his head on the pike when it came to moot nominations.

Oh, the way the blood drained from Jean’s face when he found out he was Crown counsel against Levi. It truly was a moment to behold.

The two days to prepare were barely enough, even for Levi. He buried himself in books, research, and caselaw, sometimes asking you to help research. You did of course, happily. Anything if it meant you got to witness him demolish Jean in court.

Even just thinking about it had you rubbing your thighs together, the electric wave of desire shooting down straight to your core.

This morning, you had awoken without Levi beside you, and for a moment, you were shaken – until you realized he had left early to prep again. Clothes laid out for the day for you were on his side of the bed, and you knew your outfit would be matched perfectly to his tie. A little note lay perched on top of the hanger, “Sorry for waking up alone baby, I’ll make it up to you. See you at the office.”

He always knew you so well, your heart on your sleeve when it came to your feelings about him.

A look at the dress that was laid out, and you knew you had a better choice. Ignoring the cold of the floor, you walked over to your closet, taking out a dress, still with its tags on in from the corner, tucked behind some shoeboxes. It was a big day after all, maybe it was time to raise the stakes for both sides.

You walked into the lobby of the building, the security guard at the front desk already calling the elevators and authorizing your floor. You tried not to think it or notice it, but it seemed you were the centre of attention. Your heels clacked against the marble floor, your hair was freshly washed and fragrant, your jacket draped loosely over your shoulders, and the dress. The dress accentuated your figure in just the right way, hugging where it should. You felt hot, confident, and like you could take on the world.

Too bad you were just watching the trial today.

Hanji caught you putting down your bag in your office, returning some files and flicking through the messages left on your office line and checking your computer for any important filing dates that could not be missed and any client appointments. Your usual daily tasks could not be forgotten, even if your handsome devil of a partner was just down the hall, setting up his arguments.

A low whistle from your secretary had you blushing. They had noticed. A coy smile was all you replied with, leaving Hanji to cackle at their desk, wiping tears of mirth.

They walked up to you, holding your shoulders to admire the garment. It was a full black dress, a zipper spanning the front of it, at a tasteful angle.

“Does this…?” they asked, pointing to the part of the zipper you had undone, exposing some tasteful collarbone.

“Yup! Unzips all the way.” You winked.

“You’re going to make poor Jean choke on his opening arguments, and Levi rush through his closing statements just to get you home!”

“That’s the idea Hanji!”

You replied to a couple emails, set some dates with Hanji for client meetings and as the trickle of people making their way to the library started to slow, you checked your watch. Just about time.

Every time you stepped into the law library; it took your breath away. It was, had it not been for the dry volumes of case law that lined the shelves, you dream to own a library this large. Dark oak bookshelves stretched from floor to ceiling, coupled with those whimsical sliding ladders that helped you reach to the highest shelves made you feel like you were in a fairytale bookstore. The smell of the volumes and the gentle flick of the thin onion paper made you almost miss law school. Almost.

But today, the books were not the centre of attention. Today, all eyes were on the two men who were sitting beyond the bar. Levi on the right-hand side of the empty judge’s seat, and Jean on the left. Petra was playing the role of the clerk, and Mike was standing on the side, acting as bailiff.

Associates, other partners, and just about anyone else at the firm was sitting behind the bar in their seats, switching their phones off. You lost yourself for a moment, bowing to the crest of the court as you entered. You forgot you weren’t really in court, but your body moved on its own, upholding law decorum even when you didn’t need to. You had taken your seat just behind Levi, keeping quiet as not to distract him, but he must’ve felt your presence because he turned as you sat down, eyes glancing at your face before narrowing, taking in the dress you wore. You quirked a brow, fingers reaching for the zipper before tugging it down a couple of teeth before pulling it back up. You were playing with fire, in a courtroom no less, but hopefully…it would be worth it later.

Levi tore his gaze from you, scowling a little while he tried to regather his thoughts. A peek across the at Jean, he wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to throttle the man, or you.

Jean had stars, stars in his damn eyes as he watched you settle in your seat. If he hadn’t been sitting at his desk, he probably would’ve fallen over or dropped his files by now as he gulped, eyes drinking in your form in that god forsaken miracle of a dress.

You noticed of course, and smirked, throwing a wink towards Levi. You really were in for it later.

Just then, Petra stood and walked away from her seat. When she returned, she held the door, voice strong as she announced, “Honourable Judge Smith presiding. Please rise.”

Shuffling and shifting in the room as all rose, Erwin sweeping into the library in his robes, before finding his seat.

“Court is now in session. Please note there will be no recordings of any kind. Please ensure phone and pagers are turned off now. You may be seated.”

Shuffling once again as everyone took their seats.

Blue eyes regarded the two men who sat in front of him.

Levi stood, approaching the podium at the centre.

“Ackerman, first initial L, counsel for the plaintiff Your Honour.”

Erwin nodded as Levi continued.

“The matter I bring forth today is one of summary judgement, on page 13 of your honour’s list of cases.” He paused for a moment to let Erwin flip through his papers.  

“Your honour, we are applying for summary judgement as my friend,” Levi gestured across the courtroom to a now queasy looking Jean, “has alleged my client failed to fulfill his obligations in paying to the Receiver General taxes for which the crown is owed. The basis for the summary judgement is based on the fact that my client did indeed apply for and receive a certificate that applied to the sale of his taxable property.”

Erwin nodded, thinking for a second before nodding to Jean.

“Counsellor, what are the Crown’s allegations?”

Jean stood, eyes flitting back and forth before he took a deep breath, voice surprisingly strong.

“Your Honour, what my friend has said is accurate in the sense that a certificate was applied for and received. The Crown is alleging that the certificate was not issued until well after the time limit of 60 days had surpassed post sale of the house.”

Erwin nodded again, turning back to Levi, who scowled.

“Your Honour, as per the Act, section 104 sub 3 states as long as the certificate was applied for before the time limit, it will be valid. This is supported by cases such as Jaeger v The Queen, Numbered Company v Attorney General.”

You squirmed in your seat, watching the way Levi held himself as he presented his case. Jean’s argument was good, but Levi’s was better. His cases were relevant, from high ranking courts that wielded more power compared to Jean’s cases that the frazzled man was currently trying to present to Erwin.

The words that came from Levi’s mouth in court proceedings were much different than the words he spoke in client meetings or with you in private. He was persuasive. So much so that you couldn’t help but agree with him, his logical reasoning flowing neatly from one thought to the next.

Your eyes couldn’t help but follow him across the courtroom, even without a jury, he was commanding the audience that assembled, his confidence in his abilities making a familiar heat start to rise in your stomach.

By the time you looked back up, focusing onto Erwin’s words, he was giving his verdict.

“Counsellors, the arguments made today were well presented and persuasive. However, applying the law, I must find for the plaintiff. The charges do not stand.”

Looking back at Levi, he spoke again, “Any other matters Counsellor?”

Levi shook his head. “None your honour, I stand down any additional matters for today.”

Erwin looked to Jean, who said the same.

“Dismissed, court is adjourned.”

Erwin stood, and the entire gallery did as well, before he shuffled from the room. He almost immediately came back in however, this time without his robe.

He clapped a still somewhat green tinged Jean on the back, complimenting him on a job well done, helping point out some aspects of his argument that could be improved while the spectators clapped, whistles from the other associates and students making the man blush a little with all the attention. Even you shot him a thumbs up, making the man turn a bright red as he shakily gave you a thumbs up in return.

Erwin then moved on to Levi, smiling fondly at his old friend. “I expected you to hold back your punches Levi, poor Jean got no mercy from you.”

“That’s what you get. I consulted on the Act; it was an unfair fight from the beginning. Jean, you performed admirably. I was nervous for a second.”  

Across the room, Jean nearly swooned. Compliments from both the Managing Partner and Senior Partner were too much. All he could do was smile and thank everyone over and over again as a hand rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“Alright you lot,” Erwin’s booming voice took back control and attention, “Get out of here, unless you have client meetings or cases to prep for trial, get out of here. Take an early day. You all earned it.”

Levi didn’t need to be told twice, already packing his briefcase. He strode past the bar, bowing to the court before he met you by where you stood, throwing his suit jacket over your shoulders.

You watched, nibbling your lips as he dropped his winged cufflinks into his jacket pocket which now hung at your sides before rolling his sleeves up. He knew exactly what he was doing to you. Revenge for your sexy little outfit.

His forearms were revealed with each flick of his wrist, and soon, our favourite sight – tendrils of ink – appeared into view as he took your hand.

“Let’s go home you little tease.”

~

Your fingers were at the buttons of his dress shirt even before your bodies were through the door. You kicked your heels off, not caring where they landed as you pulled Levi through the foyer and directly into the bedroom, his belt and suit pants coming off sometime during the frenzy.

Your hand came up to unzip your dress, but Levi swatted your hands away.

“Keep it on.” His voice barely above a growl. “I think I need to remind you of something that may have slipped your mind…”

His hand brushed against your cheek as he kissed it, “Mine.”

His licks and nibbles trailed over your jawline before he whispered in your ear, “Mine.”

His hand drifted down along the zipper of your dress, cold air making your nipples pebble as he revealed inch after inch of your supple skin.

“All mine.” He growled, grazing over your exposed and now goosebumped flesh

You could only nod in agreement, knees weak as you knelt on the bed, on all fours, your dress forgotten on the floor as you shed your now soaked panties.

“Please…” you begged, your wavering patience evident by the wiggle of your hips

Levi wasn’t about to bow to you, and you could hear the smile in his voice as his breath ghosted over your back. “Please what?”

“Counsellor,” you whimpered, something snapping inside you, “Fuck me.”

A grunt came from behind you as Levi’s hand found the perfect globes of your ass, still wiggling impatiently for him.

“Dirty little tease,” he scolded as you felt him rub the length of himself against your dripping folds, covering himself with your arousal.

“You going to be a good girl for me?” he whispered, the tip of his cock lined up against your trembling slit.

“Yes, yes, god Levi, please!” you begged, “Please please, I’ll be so good, take me, ta-aH!”

Whether he was at the end of his rope as well, or if it was your begging, but hands gripped your hips as he sank himself into you, the delicious stretch of him inside you never failing to make you throw your head back.

You needed more than just him inside you. You wanted him to move. You decided to take what you wanted from him, throwing your body back to meet his hips, your screams of pleasure muffled against the bedsheets as you leaned on your elbows.

Your moans were in line with each movement of Levi’s hips behind you, the way he angled his hips and the curve in his cock perfectly hitting that sweet spot inside that made you choke out his name in sobs.

You were so close, but you wanted more. You wanted mind-numbing, back-breaking pleasure.

“Le-vi…vi…more…more...fa-ah…faster!”

You felt the mattress dip as he planted a foot, gaining better leverage. When he reared back and plunged himself into you again, your arms gave out, your scream thankfully muffled as Levi hit some deep unknown part of you, your hands unable to do much more than fist in the bedsheets as you begged him to keep going, your orgasm coming any second.

His grip on your hips were bruising, and as Levi got closer to his own release, his hands moved to your ass, gripping a cheek in each hand, using them as a handle to keep plunging himself inside you.

He felt the first twitch of his release just as your walls tightened around him, wrapping him impossibly tighter and pulling him deeper into you. A rare growl escaped his lips as he shoved himself as deep as he would go, your spine a beautiful curve he knew would hurt the next day. He emptied himself inside you as your thighs trembled, barely keeping you upright. A hand around your waist and you found yourself on your side, muscles in your body still twitching.

By the time you caught your breath, the sun was casting its gorgeous orange glow through the window. The curtains were partly closed, but the light that filtered through illuminated the dark tendrils that decorated Levi’s skin.

Your fingertips traced them, making him quirk an eye at you before he shifted closer, letting you feel him.

Your soft touch travelled across his forearms, up his arms, tracing his biceps before you lost the trail of ink as it went over his shoulders.

“Why the pout?” Levi’s eyes didn’t miss a thing.

“Kind of wanted to see your tattoos while we were fucking…” you whispered, feeling another pang of desire.

“I think that can be arranged,” he chuckled, catching your hand and pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

“Hey Levi…?”

“Mm?”

“What do you think of me getting a tattoo…? Maybe here?” You gestured to the space between and underneath your pert breasts.

Another dip in the mattress as you suddenly found yourself caged against the bed, Levi’s hands on either side of your head as he dipped his head for a harsh kiss against your lips.

“I think…I’ll fulfill that first wish of yours, and then when you get whatever it is you want done…I’ll make you have to take a day off work so I can thoroughly appreciate it.”

[killer-arcade]

whats a cool thing about gehrman? why should you vote 4 him? well, allow me (mr bloodborne autism haver) 2 tell you an interesting and also deeply tragic fun fact about him.

now, its no secret that his boss theme is absolutely amazing and beautiful. you can listen 2 it yourself 2 confirm this! however, i’d like 2 specifically point out the lyrics 2 his boss theme, which are in latin. just like every other boss theme with lyrics in bloodborne. below are the lyrics of his theme which, while unconfirmed by fromsoft, make the most sense from an audible lyric standpoint, and as taken from the Bloodborne Wiki.

Venator,

Ah mi sumo vela mala.

Anima do res mihi somne restas.

Luna insidiosa,

Mira tenebrarum.

Di vises mi miserete aeterna.

these look cool, right? so naturally they must Mean something cool. lets get these at least roughly translated in2 english- once again, as stated by the Bloodborne Wiki.

Hunter,

Let the evil be hidden (from you)

My life devoted to sustaining the Dream

The insidious Moon

The wonderful darkness (or "These mysterious nights")

Great One, look upon me and grant eternal mercy (or "Great One has looked upon me and grant this eternal misery").

so it seems that his lyrics actually divest in2 the lore of this character. from an analysis standpoint, these lyrics are most likely gehrman himself speaking 2 the hunter we play as. “let the evil be hidden from you” most likely refers 2 how gehrman seeks 2 set us free through slaying us, thus freeing us from the hunter’s dream and letting us wake up in the real world. while this would do nothing 2 shake the cycle of the hunt, it would mean that we are allowed freedom from the purgatory-like state given 2 us by the hunter’s dream.

after that, he mentions that his life is devoted 2 sustaining the dream. now, the hunter’s dream technically isnt hosted by him- it’s hosted by an eldritch great one known as the moon presence (or flora). however, the moon presence requires him in order 2 keep the dream going. while he desperately wants 2 exit the dream as revealed by dialogue the hunter can encounter if they chance upon him while he’s sleeping in the garden (“Oh, Laurence... what's taking you so long... I've grown too old for this, of little use now, I'm afraid...” after you defeat vicar amelia and “Oh, Laurence... Master Willem... Somebody help me... Unshackle me please, anybody... I've had enough of this dream... The night blocks all sight... Oh, somebody, please...” followed by sobs after you defeat rom the vacuous spider), he’s unwilling 2 pass the torch on2 you or anyone else. he doesnt want you 2 suffer this fate in the same way he himself has.

he goes on 2 mention the insidious moon- both in reference 2 the blood moon brought on after killing rom that causes the beasts 2 get even stronger and strange things 2 appear and 2 the moon presence herself- as well as either “wonderful darkness” or “mysterious nights”- alluding 2 the nights of the hunt where hunters must go out and slay the beasts that plague yharnam so badly.

but that final line is the most damning of them all. “great one, look upon me and grant eternal mercy”. this one seems like a prayer perhaps- even a form of begging- 2 the moon presence 4 some form of mercy. this is important as the moon presence is the one helping 2 keep the dream going, making her by technicality his jailer. she’s the reason why he’s stuck in here in the first place. she dug his grave, and now he is forced 2 lie in it, no matter how unwilling he may be. all he can do now is hope she may grant him mercy- perhaps even some form of strength- during his final battle against you. against the player. because you refuse 2 go down. you refuse 2 take your place under his blade.

so you fight 2 free him.

vote gehrman.

Retirement Home Rumble: Round 1

Side A

Why they would crush the other geezers under the cut:

WARNING: There may be spoilers

Splinter Propaganda:

Gehrman Propaganda:

[readyourimgaines]

Fight With Yourself and Your Thoughts in the Night

Request: “My thought was he’d turn into an actual white wolf and is knocked out by the spell. When he wakes up, he’s been locked into a small cage along with Jaskier. The bad guys think that Geralt will end up killing Jaskier, but instead Wolf!Geralt treats him like a pack member, or basically like he always does. Eventually, they escape and either wears off or they go to Yennefer to have her remove it.” 

When Jaskier came to, the first thing he noticed was that something soft and warm was pressed against his side. The second thing he noticed was that wherever he was was much too small for him and the soft creature beside him. 

The creature whimpered and Jaskier jumped, hitting his head off of what could only be a cage. He pressed slowly raised his hand to see how high this cage was. He wouldn’t be able to sit up from his crouched position on his knees and elbows. Accepting he was trapped in his cage with the creature, he finally looked over and his eyes landed on a snow-white wolf. 

The bard’s heart went cold for a few moments. The wolf began to sniff him and started nudging at Jaskier’s arms like it was trying to get a look at his sides.

Scrutinizing the wolf, Jaskier was hit with a wave of realization. “Geralt?” Jaskier asked, holding his hand out to the wolf. The wolf placed his paw in Jaskier’s hand. “Any idea where we are?” The wolf whimpered. A large iron door opened and a man with a greatsword strapped to his back walked in with a vial in his hand. “Good to see you’re awake, bard,” the man said. He held the vial up. “Do you know what this is?” 

“No.” 

“Don’t test me, boy.” The bandit’s voice was low and gruff. 

“I’ve seen Geralt take them but I have no idea what they are or what they do. Honest.” Jaskier shrugged.

“One of my men took a sip and died on the spot. I take you’re going to want this.” The man walked closer to the cage and put the vial close enough to the cage that Jaskier could reach through the cage for it. 

“Why would I want this if it killed someone?” Jaskier raised a brow. 

“The wolf’s going to get hungry before long. You can’t expect the slimy cur not to turn to you for food when that happens. Witchers are more beastly than the fucking wolves that hunt in the highlands. You can either let the heartless fuck-”

“You nicked us from the highlands, didn’t you?” Jaskier cocked his head. “Shouldn’t you be in a cage too, then?” 

“Watch your mouth you little shit!” The bandit bellowed. 

“What’re you going to do about it? Honestly? You don’t have the guts to kill me yourself so you’re going to make someone you bewitched do it for you? You’re more cowardly than me,” Jaskier laughed. 

The man withdrew the keys from his belt and walked to the cage with a scowl. He unlocked it and the second the door was opened, Jaskier lunged and caught the man around the waist, holding him to the ground. The wolf wasted no time in slashing the man’s throat with his claws. 

“Geralt.” Jaskier tried for the wolf’s attention. “Geralt.” He patted the wolf’s head. “Would drinking your potion undo the spell? I don’t know what-” The bard stopped talking when the wolf whimpered and barked. “Alright. Let’s give it a go, hm?” 

Jaskier picked up the bottle and though it took them a couple of tries, Geralt did swallow the potion. Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light and Geralt was kneeling before Jaskier with black eyes and blackened veins around his eyes. 

“It worked,” Jaskeir grinned. 

Geralt hummed and stood. Jaskier, whose legs had been bent for so long, had a harder time standing. The Witcher figured it was just as well. He’d have to slaughter their way out, his potion was ramping him up. He heaved a deep breath and turned to Jaskier. 

“I don’t want you seeing what I’m about to do.” 

“What are you-”

In one fluid motion, Geralt steadied Jaskier against his chest and cast Somne. The bard’s head lulled back on his shoulder as the man promptly fell asleep. He eased Jaskier down so he was laying on the floor. 

The Witcher turned to the door and blasted it down with Aard. The first man to raise alarm was easily killed by his own sword once Geralt got it out of his hands. Some of the men ran while others were foolish enough to attack him. 

Geralt never went more than a couple of feet away from the iron door. He needed to keep Jaskier safe. The men that chose to attack were killed in front of the door while a few took a bit of coercion.

Once Jaskier’s heartbeat was the only one Geralt could hear, he went back to the room with the cage and scooped Jaskier into his arms to carry him out of the ramshackle cave.

*****

Jaskier’s head was pillowed by Geralt’s travelling cloak. He could tell that by the scent: dead leaves, pine needles, woodsmoke, and a slight tint of something he probably didn’t want to know. His head felt weirdly full yet light. Like someone packed his head full of clouds. 

Geralt was drying his hair, the river water flowing a little redder as it passed him. Roach, on the other hand, was grazing on grass. 

Jaskier sat up and he was now at an angle to see the water flowing past Geralt. The last words Geralt said to him floated through his mind. I don’t want you seeing what I’m about to do. 

What exactly had he done? They were outside so Geralt had clearly gotten them out. But how? Was the Witcher himself-

Jaskier yelped when Roach nudged his head. 

“Head hurt?” Geralt didn’t look up from drying his hair. The usually silver strands were closer to steel when wet, but clean of blood. 

“...No.” Jaskier rubbed his eyes. His head didn’t hurt but that didn’t mean it felt normal, either. “What, uh...what happened, Geralt?” 

“We got out.”

“I see that . But how did we get out?” Jaskier stood, bracing himself against Roach’s side when he stumbled. The bard rubbed Roach’s side for a few seconds in thanks. 

“I knocked the door out, gathered our things, and carried you out. Whatever they knocked you out with had a worse effect than we thought.”   

Jaskier narrowed his eyes at Geralt’s back. The Witcher was always skimpy with the details, but the bard could always tell when Geralt was tiptoeing around a specific detail. 

Accepting he wouldn’t know the whole truth until Geralt was ready to tell him, Jaskier joined Geralt by the banks of the river, sitting beside the Witcher, humming absentmindedly. 

“I’m not scared of you. You can’t scare me. I thought you would have learned that by now.” Jaskier ran his hands through his hair. “You saved my life...again. Which is why you can’t scare me.” 

“You saw my eyes, Jaskier.”

“I did. But I also see them no. The guilty fear. You’re a good person, Geralt. You don’t fight unless there’s no other option. There was a literal cage they locked us in. I might not know how to help you fight, but I know- I think- how to lessen your guilt. To lessen your guilt, my friend, you need reassurances to drown out whatever nastiness your silly brain is spoon-feeding you.” 

Geralt grunted and finally sat up fully, dropping the towel in his lap. “Why are you doing this?”

“Everyone’s always putting you down and you need someone in your corner. Maybe I should write another ballad about you, hm? What do you say to that, Geralt? About the...the sobbing mother who thought her son was dead.” Jaskier snapped his fingers. “Yes! And how we watched their joyous reunion!” 

Geralt was only sort of listening at this point. Now that this idea was in Jaskier’s head, the bard was going to write it whether the Witcher wanted it or not. Which meant he’d be hearing all about it for the next couple of weeks. 

“Thank you.” Geralt cut Jaskier off mid-sentence. 

“Hm? For what?” Jaskier blinked. 

“Not...fuck.”

Jaskier got the message. “Nothing’s changed; there’s nothing to react to. You’ll always be you. The scary-looking man who smiled when a young girl gave him a flower to thank him for saving her brother.

“Yes, you being a Witcher does have some dark and sadder days- such as today. But even my being a bard has its darker and sadder days- like the day I met Valdo Marx. Now if you’ve ever seen a monster in human skin, it’s that flaming compost heap.” 

Geralt grunted out a laugh and Jaskier beamed. 

“Could you… Do you remember anything from while you were under the spell?” The bard’s hand was fidgeting. 

“No. We were swarmed by bandits, one of them was a mage, a bright light, then I’m kneeling next to you with blood on my hand.” 

Jaskier nodded slowly. “Sometime after I woke up, a man came in and gave me one of your potions saying I was going to want it before long because one of his men died after taking a single sip. I got the keys from the man and got us out of the cage, you drank the potion, and then I woke up here.” 

“I put you to sleep.” Geralt wouldn’t meet Jaskier’s eyes. 

“You got us out alive,” Jaskier pointed out. “Besides, I should be thanking you. That was the most soundly I’ve slept in days.” 

Geralt shook his head but said nothing else. 

“Come on.” Jaskier took Geralt by the hand and tugged him up to his feet. “If you don’t comb your hair you’re not going to be able to.”

*****

Before midnight, Jaskier had curled up in his bedroll a safe distance from the fire but close enough that the flames kept him warm. 

Geralt lay on Jaskier’s other side so if anything were to try to get at Jaskier it would have to go through him first. As he lay there, the bard’s words drifted in and out of his mind. The words of his peacefully sleeping bard. 

Jaskier never lied to him. He’d dance around an answer if he was embarrassed, but he never lied. Eventually, the bard would go on and tell Geralt the whole answer because he felt bad about not really answering. 

When it came to his love life, Jaskier possessed questionable morals- just like any other bard he’d ever crossed paths with. Unlike most freelancers, Jaskier willingly helped anyone and everyone he could without a thought of payment with a smile. 

If someone so kind, selfless, and trusting as Jaskier would place his life in Geralt’s hands, maybe he wasn’t as evil as he thought. He could try trusting himself as Jaskier did. Or at least a little more. 

The Witcher rolled over, facing Jaskier, and focussed on that bard’s heartbeat. The sound lulled him to sleep by ensuring Jaskier was alive and well.

[writeiolite]

i need you to know your writing is perfect. like really — your writing is so unique. it makes me feel a type of way. like every writer on tumblr is unique but your style is immaculate. like i can’t put it into words ugh!!! the amount of effort you put into each individual word. (i know u have a thesaurus or somn cuz u use big girl words anD I LOVE THAT ABT UR WORK) like idk the way you write, makes me feel like i’m reading an actual published book. like it feels magical. like i shouldn’t be able

+ to read your work for free on here. (i wanna buy u a kofi) like of course i love all the writers i’ve followed on here but the vibe of your writing is so unique that i will read absolutely anything you write, no matter the character. you make me feel a connection to your words. man idk how to put it in words but i cannot stress enough that you are my absolute favorite writer on tumblr. hands down. your writing touches my soul. idk if i’ve said too much so it sounds like an exaggeration now but + pls know i mean EVERY word. i need u to know how good of a writer u are. pls don’t ever stop. luv u

ok i read this before i went to sleep and im reading it again after waking up and ;( i frl wanted to hoard this in my inbox ASFGJASDG so i could look at it all the time hehe but ik i need to answer LMFASOJ

!! THANK YOU !! THERE ARE NO THANKS IN THE WORLD THAT CAN EXPLAIN HOW THANKFUL I AM BUT I WANNA DESCRIBE HOW IT FELT SO!!! i frl saw the last ask and got scared it was hate again but the relief when i saw everything else.. and the way the cool tones of relief burned into hot tears of gratitude like BRO w t f i’m so speechless rly. im becoming a lot more confident in my writing and expanding my style (i used a thesaurus for the first time on this !!!! HEHE) so to hear this ㅠㅠ touching ur soul liKKEKEEEEE??!?!?! dude this is honestly so kind and im rly gonna take this to heart. 

i always go through the ♡ tag when i feel down and this make’s me so.... idk i feel so fucking spoiled by this HAHAH wow. you’re a literal treasure on earth and i feel so lucky to have someone like you reading my work;-; i hope u get treated with the same love and more bc u deserve it!!! im frl just here bullshitting and hoping for the best one day and then putting my soul into it the nest and this just makes it all worth it. so thank you so sososo much for treating me like someone worth praising and acknowledging ♡ i wanna carry u off into the sunset and eat finger sandwiches n shit together like wtf u have my whole heart ;( god idk how to say thank you anymore but im rly rly rly gonna improve my writing even more so i can give u more of these feelings — that’s the least i can do 🥺 thank you for everything frl. u don’t have to buy me a kofi and i appreciate u no matter what. this just makes me so happy that i’m writing and that’s enough for me. i never expected me going “hehe let’s take up writing as a hobby challenge” to turn into this so ;-; i’m rly just amazed at how much i have changed from when i started and how many people i’ve met and touched with my work and aaaaaa. you rly have made me open my third eye 💖👄💖

thank you so much from the bottom of my silly heart for giving me ur time and love and iendnwknkdkanb i couldn’t ask for anything better than this and i’m literally tearing up Again but! not crying!!! that’s growth!! KSNDNAJAJ thank you for helping me love myself a little more and not be so hard on myself 😔

[gaamagirl565]

Matters of the heart S2 EP 4

Matters of the heart

Season 2 Episode 4

Helping hand With special thanks to 1A-lchemist for the Romanian lullaby {OPENING CREDITS} {Open to old Corona in the morning; a faint melody can be heard on the wind; pan over to Varian’s bedroom window where Zapada sits on the bed with Varian’s head resting on her stomach; begin Romanian lullaby “Cantec de leagan“} {Zapada} Dormi cu mama copilaș

Dragul mamei îngeraș

Că mama te-o legăna

Și mereu îți va cânta

Na, na

Puișorul mamei mic

De te-ai face un voinic

Frumusel și măricel

Mândru ca un stejărel

Na, na

Puiul mamei puișor

Dormi cu mama, dormi ușor

Îngerii te vor veghea

Și în somn te-or dezmierda

Na, na {End song with Zapada running her fingers through Varian’s long bang}} Varian:...I said it before and i’ll say it again...this kid is so lucky to have you as a mom. Zapada: what do you think? Boy or girl? Varian: mmmm...I’m thinking girl. {Isaiah walks in} Isaiah: no way! It’s totally a boy! Zapada: ah I see...and how may you tell? Isaiah:...I uh..I just know...brothers share a special bond. Right now he’s just waiting to make his entrance! Zapada: *burp* All:..... Isaiah: see? Zapada: Oh no… {she runs out of the room and towards the bathroom with Varian following} Varian: Zapada? *has the door slammed in his face*....you alright? {wretching sounds come from the door} Varian: ummm...you’re doing great….I love you...want me to make you some sort of antiemetic? Zapada: Varian...I do love you but...taci din gură! {the toilet flushes and she comes stumbling out} Varian: Easy, catch your breath. Zapada:...how am I to survive 6 more months of this? Varian: You have me… Zapada: but..I don’t know how to knit baby clothes...and the nursery..and..and. {Zapada starts to fall over and Varian catches her} Varian: Zapada!...you’re stressing yourself out… Zapada: I’m just...I’m...just leave it... I’m not the first woman to have a baby and I won’t be the last….I’m going to go lie down. Isaiah: Is Zapada okay? Varian: I...I don’t know buddy.. Isaiah: I’m...going out...I’ll be back later... Varian: Oh...okay...be careful...hmm, not the first and not the last… *varian gets an idea* {Pan to Varian in front of the throne} Rapunzel: You want me to what now? Varian: help Zapada. She’s new to this whole thing. She tends to keep to herself and not tell people when somethings bothering her. Eugene: and you want Rapunzel to help her out? Varian: yes. Look you have 5 children so you’re experienced, to say the least. Rapunzel she’s scared and stressed. Please… Eugene: Sunshine it’s your call. Rapunzel:....well...Okay! uh... Where is she? Varian: umm... Eugene: how far along is she? Varian: uhh...3 months? Eugene: Probably sticking her head in a latrine… Rapunzel: Eugene! {Cut to the Cut HQ where Cassandra is training} Larkspur: Focus my vessel… Cassandra: I-I’m trying...why are you doing this to me… Larkspur: now don’t start that again...you were one with the moonstone at a time and therefore are the perfect vessel for the power you possess… so...again. Cassandra: NO! I won’t! I’ll..never stop fighting you! Larkspur: *sigh*...you know what happens when you say that… {Cassandra grunts as her eyes flicker in colour; she screams as the magic overtakes her and she collapses with a growl} Larkspur: even if you managed to defeat all of us...your magic abilities are still unstable...you’d be cursed with it for life… Noremoth: Larkspur! Larkspur: oh...hello Norie. Guards...the Vessel is tired. Take her to her room. {Guards help Cassandra up but she shakes them off} Cassandra: Larkspur…you might have me trapped and you might take my conscience, But trust me even with a powerful being at your side no one is just going to bend to your will... especially Corona. Larkspur: that's what I'm hoping... now go on go take your nap… {Cassandra is lead away; Noremoth looks on with a concerned face} Larkspur: come on, Norie... let's get this over with. Noremoth: Yes...of course... {cut to Zapada staring at a cup of tea with Ruddiger} Zapada: so Ruddiger….the question haunts me...will this help me? Or make me empty my digestion? Ruddiger: *chitters and shrugs* Zapada: one way to find out… {She goes to sip but Rapunzel kicks open the door to the house making her drop the cup} Zapada: AH!...my tea… Rapunzel: oops… Zapada: Y-your majesty? What are you-!? Rapunzel: Varian told me you’re having some issues with all this um...newness. Zapada: Well yes but I- Rapunzel: Well fear no more! I’m here to help! Zapada: what? Rapunzel: So today I’m going to help you with the most difficult part! Zapada: and that is? {Cut to them in the doorway of the unfinished nursery} Rapunzel: Painting the nursery! Zapada: Painting? Rapunzel: Trust me painting something can be really good for your mental health!  and what better way to paint than painting your baby’s room! Zapada: well I suppose you are correct... might as well get a head start on it at least. Rapunzel:  great so what did you want as a base coat? Zapada: base coat? I am confused… Rapunzel:  well don't you want to put some pretty little designs on it you have to have a base coat if you want to do that! Zapada: but we don't even know if the baby is a boy or a girl so what sort of designs are we supposed to do? Rapunzel:  that is a fair point... tell you what I'll work on the base coat if you do the borders. Zapada:...well...Alright. Rapunzel: that's the spirit!  I'll get you set up on the ladder! {show time passing with Zapada doing the borders of the room in gold paint and Rapunzel painting the walls a light periwinkle} Rapunzel: It's really coming together isn't it? Zapada: yes it is!... but your majesty I do appreciate the help but why- {Rapunzel bumps into the ladder as shes painting} Zapada: AH! Rapunzel: OH MY-SORRY! {Rapunzel tries to steady the ladder but the ladder starts cracking} Rapunzel: uh oh. Zapada: R-Rapunzel! Rapunzel: Why does everything in Varian’s house seem to break so easily!? Zapada: RAPUNZEL! Rapunzel: Zapada you have to jump! Zapada: ARE YOU MAD!? I'm up at least 14 feet! Rapunzel:  I'll catch you I promise! {The ladder cracks} Zapada: AH! YOUR MAJESTY! {Isaiah walks in just as Zapada falls on Rapunzel} Isaiah: uhhhh...Is this a bad time? {Zapada gets up} Zapada: Yes Isaiah... it is very bad time!  I have no idea what is going on, her majesty for some reason shows up at my door sing she has the answer to my problems, I don't even know what my problems are but apparently everybody else does, she is insisting that we paint the nursery,  my husband is seemingly nowhere to be found,  and I am nothing but confused right now!  so yes this is very bad time! {everyone looks on in shock} Rapunzel: Zapada... are you okay? Zapada:... forgive me Your Majesty... but I need some space at the moment. {Zapada pinches the bridge of her nose and walks out; cut to Zapada out on the back stoop and Varian walks up with a cup of tea} Varian: I made you some tea… Rapunzel told me how you spelled yours... yeah this could have gone better. Zapada:  I have several questions. Varian: that I am more than likely prepared to answer… Zapada: *inhale*... why? Varian: okay now I'm not prepared to answer...why what? Zapada:  why all of this?  what was all of this? I know for a fact that you were behind it because you were going all day! Varian:  it's just... I've been worried about you. Zapada: worried? Varian:  you've been kind of not yourself lately... I know that's to be expected with this but you seem more scared than usual, sometimes cranky, and you seem to stress yourself out.  I just thought maybe if I could have someone who's experienced with this sort of thing help you out in some way maybe you'd feel better. I'm sorry it was dumb. Zapada: oh, Iubirea mea… {she kisses him} Zapada: I appreciate that you're trying to help me.  and I'm sorry if I've been a bit out of sorts lately I must admit I am a bit frightened because this is all so new but it's nothing I can't handle.  next time just ask me if I need help.  if there's anything I ever need I'll let you know. Varian:  and I'll be there whenever you need me… {Rapunzel walks up with Isaiah; both covered in paint} Rapunzel:  hello... I know you're probably busy but… Zapada:  no your majesty we're fine… Varian:  Isaiah... why are you covered in paint? Isaiah: well- Varian:  please tell me you didn't touch anything that you weren't supposed to with that. Isaiah: like what? Varian: Like the walls and the banisters... and the tables... EVERYTHING REALLY! Isaiah: unfortunately too late for that one… Varian: UUGHHH NO!!!   Rapunzel: ...Isaiah and I have a present for the mother-to-be. {Cut to them opening the room to the nursery} Zapada: GASP! Isaiah:  do you like it? { the room has a painting of the kingdom of Corona on it surrounding the walls} Rapunzel: Oh and Isaiah did that part. { on the wall above where the crib would be is a heart  with a portrait of Varian, Zapada,  and Isaiah in it cuddling a small infant} Zapada: *tearing up* it’s beautiful… Isaiah:  Dad? are you okay? Varian: yeah just something in my eye… Isaiah:  Dad we only need one blubbering mess in the room thank you Zapada: *laughs* Varian: oh okay is that how this is going to be!? { Varian picks Isaiah up,  throws him over his shoulder, and Twirls him around the room} Isaiah:  put me down! PUT ME DOWN! {Rapunzel smiles and giggles} Zapada:  your majesty I want to apologize for my behavior earlier. I shouldn't have snapped at you and Isaiah Rapunzel:  no it's perfectly fine no need to apologize.  trust me I get it. Being in your condition can be quite the experience. Zapada:  you have the kingdom to run and you agreed to help me anyway. it was out of the kindness of your heart and I want to thank you for it. Rapunzel: I want to thank you though. Zapada:  me? whatever for? {Rapunzel looks over at Varian and Isaiah rough housing} Rapunzel:  for giving them a family again. Zapada: ... I was more than happy to do it. Rapunzel: you know I'd love it if we could hang out more often? we don't have to paint if you don't want to… Zapada: that sounds lovely your maje- Rapunzel… {Isaiah pins Varian} Isaiah:  I'm the king of the castle! Varian: Augh! Okay! Easy on the back! Rapunzel: they're good boys aren't they? Zapada: yeah... they really are. {pan off to the forest where Noremoth is watching the family from afar sadly} {END CREDITS}

[elaeomyxa]

pen emoji (i don’t feel like finding it) abt any of your ocs

(Thank you for sending this even though I've literally never mentioned any of them dkalhfhafskghd)

Ok so Sasha

Her whole gist is she finds Nix in the middle of a fight with a Nightmare in a forest, and ends up saving him. She brings him back to her house because she has the best judgment on what to do with unconscious people who are bleeding out after fighting a monster you never knew existed (/s). She, obviously, begins panicking about having his dead body in her tub until said dead body pulls her out of it, perfectly fine.

She, understandably is like "what the fuck" and Nix, being a Master of Human Emotion is like "oh I'm not human haha wanna come work with me?"

(In reality it's more along the lines of "hey ain't it weird how you can see those dream creatures? Also since you're not associated with us we'll have to wipe your memory of this whole event if you don't join ¯\_(ツ)_/¯")

She ends up joining them, shenanigans ensue, she makes a bunch of friends with her mission group, she gets kidnapped after making a deal with a demon, the whole shebang

Basically what the company (Somn inc., "where dreams come true!") is is just a bunch of people who enter the mindscapes of those plagued by dream creatures to help them sleep peacefully

Most employees are not human, and humans are actually looked down upon because they often have less dream abilities, or none at all.

The company has a whole thing about never showing identities, something about how imagination holds a lot of power with those who have stronger dream abilities can will things into existence, but only if they actually know someone's true form (kinda death note logic)

So they use codenames and never reveal their species

So they go through training, and on their first real mission, Sasha gets badly hurt, and her identity is revealed.

If you remember what I said earlier, humans aren't the most accepted group in this company, or really overall over the groups of sentient folk

So she ends up more or less ostracized by the group, with them talking about how her being human led to her getting hurt, and even saying she should leave if she knew what was best for her.

So now let's backtrack for a sec

Ever since her seventeenth birthday, she's been having strange dreams

She'd find herself in a field of purple flowers, under an endless sky

Ever since she joined the company, she's been seeing a figure on the horizon

Each night she finds herself closer and closer, yet never able to reach it

Now back to when she's just been outed as human

She goes to sleep that night to find the figure right next to her, offering to make her a deal

The figure says that they can make her more powerful, or worthy or whatever

Sasha accepts, and oops! The figure takes control of her body and runs off to the dream realm, a void between mindscapes filled with Nightmares

So Sasha goes missing, and the group is like "oh shit"

They end up going around where Sasha lives, setting up missing person posters and the likes, going door to door, where they meet enfys

I know this is just about one oc and that I'm making it about the whole story so here's some quick background on enfys

E is sort of a conspiracy theorist, e's real paranoid

So naturally when e find out eir friend (and long time crush) has gotten some weird part time job that she often comes back from beat up, e's real suspicious

So the whole time while Sasha was out learning dream stuff, enfys has been worrying eir ass off about her and trying to figure out what's happening

So when the crew comes to eir house with news that Sasha has mysteriously disappeared, refusing to give any more information other than vague answers, e's real suspicious

E ends up interrogating them and they spill the beans, so e ends up joining the search party for her, despite not being able to see dream creatures

So the crew goes on a quest, each having to deal with their complicated backgrounds in order to get in the right state of mind to enter the dream realm

So what's Sasha been doing the whole time? Well, the demon from her dreams (Zea) has been gathering an army of Nightmares to fight the leader of Somn inc

Throughout this she's basically trapped in a place separate from her mindscape, her consciousness, which is more or less the control room for the body

She's been trying to talk Zea down, and learns that her whole vendetta against Somn inc. is because the leader's careless for his workers lead to her father dying on a mission, and ever since she's been trying to gain power to take him down

So Sasha's like "wait you're telling me this corporation who more or less blackmailed me, a seventeen year old into working for them under dangerous situations, is bad? Wack."

So by the time the crew comes back and they have a Big Fight in the dream void area thing Sasha's like "okay everyone can't we just chill and take down a corrupt CEO together?"

The crew, having not been there for Zea's somewhat redemption are naturally like "okay what the fuck" and decide to try and get Zea out of control of Sasha's body

This ends up killing Zea and Sasha

They're all sad and stuff blah blah blah the end

...

Not really though

The story picks up with Sasha and Zea stuck in a void

Sasha's like "you know what? Fuck this."

And Zea's like "bruh I've been working my whole life can't I just give up now?"

And Sasha's like "this whole situation has led to us having to do this together, you got me into this so I'm gonna drag you out if the afterlife with me"

And so Sasha, through sheer willpower (which makes sense because ghosts are formed from the dead refusing to be dead) yoinks them outta the afterlife as ghosts

So. Backtracking again, remember enfys?

Turns out their paranoia kinda stems from them being a spirit medium and being able to see what no one else can, yadda yadda yadda

So enfys has kinda cut emself off from the group, blaming them (but secretly emself too) for Sasha's death

E's like mourning and stuff when e sees Sasha's ghost and is like "what the fuck"

Then e sees Sasha brought Zea's ghost and is like "What The Fuck"

So it's a whole thing where e tries to prove Sasha still Kinda being there to the group

The think e's making it up, or having grief-driven delusions

So enfys goes to Sasha's mom and holds a spirit channeling session or something

So Sasha's mom often has to be away on work trips due to being a single mom, so she's real guilt filled for not spending more time with her

So her mom ends up talking about Sasha's father- who she's never mentioned before- and it turns out he's not human

A demon to be specific, who had to leave her because his job was too dangerous

Huh

So Zea's like "hold up. Describe him."

Enfys is like "what are you doing?"

And Zea's like "shut up, describe him."

Turns out Sasha and Zea share a dad

I don't have the whole thing planned out but the group reunites and they end up taking down the corrupt company, the Nightmares, as it turns out, aren't really that bad and used to have a peaceful symbiotic relationship with humans, they end up returning to how it was, all that jazz, enfys ends up dating a ghost

So now stuff about Sasha in general!

She's a trans gal

She and enfys have been childhood friends, and she's actually been crushing on em for a while

She's latina

At the beginning she's actually kinda naive, which leads to the whole "making a deal with a random demon" thing, and by the end she's still trusting, but not to a fault

She's actually really resourceful, and can talk her way out of many situations

She's just. Neat.

She's also kinda the backbone of the whole team

She's really a lot more useful than she gives herself credit for

[embracehappy]

Tour starts today! and I had a dream (AU vibes)

HAPPY DAY 1 OF TOUR! We love our dude and he even managed to sneak into my dreamland last night. I hope you all get the opportunity to see Shawn at some point over the next year! This tour is gonna be so good!

So this is silly, but here’s what I dreamt last night:

So somehow I had gotten tickets to the opening show - on the floor, in the center, second row from the stage. And somehow I had gotten there really early before like almost any crowds had started filling the arena. And suddenly a few stadium people come out and they started taking down the seats in the front row. I ask what they’re doing. They said that it was confirmed the whole first row wasn’t coming and the since show starts soon so they’re just removing the seats and giving the second row a better view. (weird) So now I’m sitting first row with some space for dancing right next to the stage. I take note of my surroundings. The arena has started to fill up, but not really. Also the person seated to my left is now here. (We’ll name him Tim) I knew him in high school and quit frankly I didn’t and still don’t like him that much. He’s annoying. But he starts trying to make small talk with me and since I’m about to have to spend this whole concert next to him, I decided that I should be nice and talk so that I can act like an idiot later when I’m singing and dancing along - No bad vibes at a Shawn concert allowed. So after a bit, the arena still isn’t as full as I think it should be (I must’ve gotten there way earlier than I thought I had. Like first in the doors when they opened or somn.) This is when it gets exciting. 

Out of the corner of my eye I see a figure in a black hoody overseeing the removal of the last of the chairs. He’s on the stage but somehow almost unnoticeable. And then we make eye contact. It takes a second to register, but I quickly realize that it was indeed Shawn Mendes. I smile because I was genuinely having a good time watching the buzz in the arena grow. And then I couldn’t believe what happens next. Shawn smiles back. Then he crouches down and tells one of the arena workers something. He moves across the stage and sits on it’s edge directly in front of me. Somehow NO ONE in the arena is bothered to care that Shawn is on the stage. I walk up to the barrier with a confused look on my face and Tim follows suite. Shawn says “hi welcome to the show!” and his smile gets a little bigger and he does his grabby wave thing. 

“oh! hey! Shouldn’t you be like backstage doing a meet and greet or something?”

“Oh no! It just ended and I wanted to come out and see how the crowd is forming.”

“Well this is a sold out show. So you’re crowd will love you no matter what.”

Shawn blushes and looks away. 

Concern crosses my face. “wait, are you nervous? You have nothing to be afraid of we’re literally all here to see you. And honestly, even if you sound terrible and the stage falls apart, we’ll still love you and have a great time.”

Shawn chuckles. “I know. It’s just this is the first show and I want this tour to be amazing-”

“You’re going to be great.” I cut him off with a soft voice.

Shawn chuckles again. “I definitely will now that I have a friend in the front row! What’s your name?”

“Jackie” (NOT MY NAME I HAVE NO IDEA WHY MY DREAM CHOSE THIS NAME)

“Well, Jackie - When I need a familiar face I’m going to look at you during the show.” 

“I’ll be here” 

Shawn turns his attention to Tim, slightly curious and afraid suddenly. Almost like he just noticed the dude standing next to me. 

But before Shawn can say anything, Tim slaps my shoulder and says “ Don’t worry man, she’s here for you.”

That must’ve been sufficient for Shawn, because he gives a nod to Tim and then winks at me before getting up and running off off the stage. 

Tim promptly turns to me and freaks out. “Oh my gosh you just got hit on by Shawn Mendes!!” 

I run a hand through my hair. “Don’t broadcast it! Who knows what kind of crazys are be listening!”

“Well, by the end of the show, they’ll all know that Shawn has eyes for you. If the concert goes anything like what just happened., Shawn will barely take his eyes off the front row.”

I blush and laugh, hiding my face. “He better not. Andrew is going to kill him”

Αnd that’s when I feel a strong tug on my arm. And then it cuts to black. 

_____

I wake up and there’s beeping white.

 I’m in a hospital bed. I reach for my phone and see a slew of text messages from Tim. 

“Hey are you okay?” “you said you were fine when you walked out” “Where are you?” “I can’t find you” “the show starts in 5″ “Alessia is on stage” “Where the fuck are you” “Alessia is off stage and the crowd is chanting” “Shawn will be out soon” “Shawn’s on stage” “are you okay?” “Shawn looks heart broken”

And thats where the messages stop. The last one sent 15 minutes ago. I text back and let Tim know I’m in a hospital but have no idea what happened. Tim explains someone pulled my arm and I fell and hit my head. I claimed I was fine and just wanted to go splash some water on my face, so I walked out to go find a bathroom. 

I must’ve passed out somewhere along the way. 

A doctor walks in saying that I don’t have any sign of concussion and that I’m free to go. The excitement must have just been to much for me and I passed out, not necessarily because I hit my head, but more likely because I was overwhelmed. I make my way back to the arena. 

____

At the gate, the security won’t let me in because I’ve already scanned my ticket and reentry isn’t allowed. Suddenly I recognize someone from Shawn’s team walking by. I call out and frantically explain to them that I fainted and was taken to the hospital, but was cleared and I really just wanted to watch the final portion of the concert but I can’t get back in. 

Shawn team member look confused and pulls out their phone. “let me just make a quick call.” They walk out of earshot.

The team member hangs up and walks back to me and the security guards. “Okay so I just called Andrew and his description of the fainting girl looks like you, so I’m going to let you back in. But you can’t go to your seat you have to come with me.”

At this point I’m just glad I’m being allowed back in. I follow the team member around the arena and then up a bunch of stairs. Eventually we come to a door and the team member lead me inside. 

It’s a box. But not just any box. It’s full of random lower level team members that don’t have jobs during the actual show itself and have no reason to be backstage. I read some of the name badges and see mostly truck drivers, but I did spot a personal trainer. The view was pretty bad considering I was originally front and center at first row, but these definitely aren’t the worst seats in the house. I shoot Tim a text with an update. 

After a while I’m comfortable. Or at least as comfortable as I could get in an uncomfortable situation. I really did just want to be back on the floor. I get a text from Tim saying “he keeps looking at me, looking for you. I’m going to point to your box.” 

The show continues and then when Shawn is running across the stage during the bridge of Mutual, I hear it. 

“Jack come down!” 

The arena screams in confusion. But I know who he’s talking to. My phone pings, no doubt a message from Tim. I’m shifting my weight trying to decide the best way to get out of the room. Mutual ends and the pause between songs seems a little longer that it should be, probably just first show hiccup I think. 

Half way through the next song, Andrew busts into the box. His eyes are quickly darting around. “You! Jackie! Come on!” Andrew walks out of the room quickly, assuming I’ll follow. And he’s right, I run after him, suddenly very afraid that I’m about to get thrown out. 

Andrew is mumbling something under his breathe about “of course Shawn would meet the one that faints” or something along those lines. Once we’re in an empty area, Andrew turns to me. 

“Okay so here’s the thing. Shawn seems to like you I don’t know how, because there wasn’t a meet and greet and I told him directly not to go on stage prematurely. But anyway - You’re going to go back to your seat on the floor, and after the concert you’re going to stay there and not leave. Someone will come get you. Okay?” 

“got it” 

Andrew points to the entrance to the floor. And I walk that way holding up my floor wristband to be allowed back in. 

As soon as I walk in I feel like Shawn’s eyes are on me. He follows my walk all the way up to me seat. Where Tim had to help me reclaim dominance of the spot. Considering that I was absent for the whole show, people moved in. But once I’m standing and moving to the music I see Shawn smile as he looks away, giving the arena his attention again. 

Throughout the remainder show he would occasionally look down and make eye contact with me, and I could usually see that he was trying to suppress a goofy smile, saving it for when he looked back at the crowd.

At the end of the concert, right before Shawn ran off stage he looked over at me and raised his eyebrows. And the movement was so small, but I’m pretty sure he mouthed “stay” too. Clearly not giving a fuck about the rest of his fans anymore. 

I stood and I waited. The bottlenecked exit made the crowd take forever to disperse on the floor. Tim even disappeared at some point, leaving me all by myself, yet surrounded by people. After the crowd finally broke up more, a arena worker in all black comes up to me. “Jackie?” 

I nod my head. 

“follow me.” I follow them through a series of boundaries and hallways. All empty, until suddenly busy. 

“I was told to bring you here, this is the green room. Theres couches you can sit on” 

I walk into the room and find a few of Shawn’s team members in there. Most notably, Brian. I avoid them all and sit on a couch in the corner. After a few minutes Shawn busts into the room in sweat pants and a t shirt. He must have just showered really quick once he was off stage. He also has more people in tow.

He makes his way over to Brian and the crew but he’s looking around the entire time. He hugs every member in the cluster and gets pushed around by Brian and Josiah He eyes fall on me and he smiles calling out “Jackie!” Everyone turns to look at me and I see Andrew roll his eyes. 

“oh hey!” Shawn walks over and grabs my hand pulling me off the couch and towards his friends. 

_________

That night when checking instagram, I receive a dm notification from Shawn. It’s only one line but it stole my breath (and made me wake up)

“Do you want to come on tour?”