#can someone whos aro please tell me if thats what this is

[poeitryforsomereason]

Hair pulling breath stealing clashing teeth love

Fun in the moment

You leave me feeling dirty

Kisses turn my stomach

I want you to stop touching me

I want to stop touching you

Constant breath on my shoulder fear

Hand on my waist supress a shudder

It feels like a chore to be a good partner

I feel the love but not when I'm alone

I am happy when I'm alone

I am made to be loved but not love back

[mara-moon]

Well this is my first post and really just want to scream about what happen today. First of all i'm aroace and just hours ago was talking about this with a couple of peoples and PLEASE, if someone tells you that is in the aro spectrum and you don’t know what that means. Don’t try to make them feel like they could have someone if they open their mind. I can understand that you don't get it but don’t push it, if i feel little or none atraction is not because i close the "door" to people who want to aproch me is just that i don’t feel like that or even i don’t want that. I'm happy just how i am now. If you want to know how it feel for me ask, and i'll be happy to tell you, but don’t make it like is my fault because i close every opportunity or don’t want to give an opportunity to someone.

Well thats all, i really just want to say it because it really makes me mad that they don’t want to listen and just want to "make you see" what you could do. I know want i want if you think you know it more than me then really you are so wrong.

And sorry if my english is bad, is not my first language, just trying here.

[sabo-has-my-heart]

hello hello :3 ive been LOVINF ur scenarios soo much lately!! do u think u could write some for zoro/sanji/ace/law dating gn!reader who is aromantic but enjoys dating and doing romantic things (ie. going on dates, kissing, cuddling)? they could either be in a queerplatonic relationship and also aromantic, or in a traditionally romantic relationship but reader doesn't *always* feel romantically towards them/attraction fluctuates? maybe u could include crewmates being a little confused by the nature of their relationship, or navigating the boundaries of a non-traditional relationship? if not thats okay! ik aro relationships can b hard 2 understand for some ^^

Aw, thank you, I'm so glad you like them. I actually finished this a lot faster than I thought. So I don't know much about being aromantic, asexual, demi, pan, whatever sex-romantical (IRL, I'm actually the opposite, I want a romantic relationship but am not particularly touchy). That being said, I did look it up. There's still a lot I don't understand but I tried my best. That being said, please, please, please, please, please! Tell me what you think and give me feeback. I can't learn if you don't help me.

Warnings: GN!Reader, Aromantic!Reader, queer!Platonic relationships

Word Count: 1200

     He’d been your best friend for years, or well, maybe friends wasn’t quite the right term. You weren’t just friends but you weren’t dating either. You enjoyed the comfort of romantic things, enjoyed the warmth of cuddling, enjoyed the fun of dates, but you didn’t have ‘those feelings’ for him, or anyone really. That being said, just because you didn’t feel like that towards him, didn’t mean you didn’t sometimes enjoy the activities included in such a relationship. Was he in the same boat as you as an aromantic? No. But he understood your desire for it and was close enough to provide you with the peace and serenity of such things. Sometimes, sometimes, you wished you could feel that way towards others. It would make everything so much easier if you did. You’d be able to actually date, to tell him you loved him in that way, people wouldn’t be confused by your relationship. They understood when you said aromantic, what they didn’t quite understand was being aromantic while enjoying romantic things. Even still, they did their best to understand, or at least not give you hell for it, you were you, you liked what you liked, that was what mattered. So they let you do what made you comfortable. 

Zoro

     He liked sleeping with you, sprawled out in the warm sun on the grass, one arm around you, one behind his head as you snuggled up to him and dozed off in his arms. Honestly, your relationship worked quite well with him. He hadn’t found anyone he felt that way for and honestly didn’t care enough to look. It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested in finding someone, just that he was focused on other things at the moment. That being said, he still enjoyed the comfort of having a warm body next to his, it brought a sort of… peace and contentment that he didn’t otherwise get. A relationship with a crew member was always a bad idea in his mind, nor was he interested in them; he doubted any of them were particularly interested in him or simply want to cuddle with him for the sake of physical contact. Well, Luffy might, but Luffy was… interesting. You were different though, the two of you were close enough to share a bottle of sake on a moonlit night and enjoy the romantic things but without needing to be romantic. You did have an understanding that in the chance that he found someone he felt that way for, he could break it off if necessary, but until it was necessary, he was more than happy to fulfill your need for romantic actions without the romance.

Sanji

     At first, he’d been a little hesitant. A relationship that wasn’t romantic? He’d understood that you were aromantic, but he didn’t quite understand your desire for romantic touches without the actual romance. Didn’t understand wanting to cuddle or kiss or hug but not be together together. That being said, as your closest friend, he’d listened to you and was at least open to attempt it on the condition that if he was uncomfortable, you end things amicably. You’d agreed, he was your friend, you understood that he might not be comfortable with such things just as you weren’t comfortable with actual romance. Surprisingly, he found your agreement to be more comforting than previously thought. There was a warmth and tenderness in holding each other, a sort of softness and care in the kisses he placed on the top of your head. The two of you even enjoyed cooking together, just without all the lovey-dovey romance that came with a romantic relationship. Moreover, you seemed to curb some of his womanizing habits. He still fawned over women left and right, but not quite as much. While he might want a romantic relationship at some point, at the same time, he really enjoyed what he had with you.

Ace

     Ace was all over the romantic-sexual spectrum. Some days he was more interested in men than women or vice versa, some days he didn’t want a relationship with anybody, other days all he wanted was sex. The boy’s romantic and sexual preference was so all over the charts it was hard to keep up. But there was one constant. His desire for human affection, his desire to be held. He was touch starved and wanted somebody to love him, romantically or platonically, he just wanted to be held or to hold someone. Meaning that a queerplatonic relationship worked perfectly fine with him. He got to hold you, got to be held, but he didn’t have to worry about stumbling around and being romantic. He could go on a date with you, but have it be comfortable, not stumbling over his words as he tried not to mess things up. The two of you were still friends, maybe slightly more than friends, but first and foremost, friends. This also meant that he had somebody looking out for him. Somebody who would keep him from falling face first into his food, but he wouldn’t have to be embarrassed because ‘oh what will they think of me’. Someone who didn’t mind his dumbass shenanigans and not fret over him getting hurt. Hell, you joined in! And with his whole son of Roger thing, he wasn’t entirely certain he wanted a romantic relationship, a romantic relationship, whether or not he had those feelings, would just complicate things, just make things harder. No, he really liked what you two had.

Law

     The doctor had never been particularly affectionate, meaning that when you came to him with this, he was confused as hell. Why him? He wasn’t cuddly, he wasn’t loving or doting, so why him? That being said, after your first time holding him, cuddling up to him, nuzzling against his chest, he found himself desiring more. He didn’t care much for romance, he wasn’t interested in it, he didn’t have a need for it, and he didn’t have a place for it in his life. He was a pirate and a surgeon, he was fairly cold to a lot of people, he’d done things that some people might call horrible, and he had other things he wanted to accomplish. Romance with anyone outside his crew was a no go and dating among crew members in such a small crew was inadvisable. As a doctor, he also understood the need for physical human affection and interaction, understood the brain’s need to be loved, even if you weren’t romantically interested. This fulfilled both of your needs. He still wasn’t very affectionate outside of his room or office. He didn’t go around holding you or kissing you, wasn’t particularly close to you, but when it was just the two of you, he enjoyed the feelings of keeping you close, of resting his head on your chest. Being the doctor that he was, he’d listened to plenty of heartbeats, but there was something soothing about the drumming in his ear. The crew knew that the two of you had taken to sharing a bed, they didn’t quite understand, but you and Law were happy in your strange non-romantic relationship, so they didn’t question it. 

[fangkingfury]

Valentines day from an Arosbian Perspective

I think that one of the things I struggle with most being aro on valentines day is the gaslighty nature of it all. It has been made painstakingly clear from the beginning that this entire world (and capitalism, hello) is extremely amatonormative (and heteronormative) and valentines day is about that. But when you talk about how it feels bad to be alienated because youre single, you’re closeted, your partner is unable to celebrate for whatever reason etc etc its like “omg dont be so bitter go out with your parents or something”. This is so ridiculous. PLEASE direct me to the valentines hallmark cards about spending it wth your sister, be so forreal. Not to mention that maybe those people in your life have plans of their own?? Iono I dont hate love (lol) but come on. All month I’ve been trying to schedule Valentines specific stuff for myself and everything has been specifically for two people.

And when I try to talk to my partnered friends about it all they do is silently nod. (Most of my friends happen to be partnered Im not avoiding talking to single friends lol) its like they’re silently agreeing and don’t know what to say. How could they? Theyre participating in the system I’m complaining about. Its like I’m looking for an answer that I know they can’t give me. Cuffed people often say things like “just love yourself” or “its not worth it relationships are hard”. These are non-answers to me. I want to be told that it’ll be okay regardless. That, there’s no promise for a “true love” as we know it, and that not everyone who finds someone even has what you’re looking for, or ever will. You may find love, you may not, but its not a you problem and you will be alright either way. That, this world prioritizes people being paired off because thats the only way they know how to keep it going, and the partnered vs notpartnered binary really doesnt exist the way our language suggests. Ultimately, I want someone to tell me that I’m not broken, there’s nothing wrong with me. They never do, though. Again, how could they know? The societal pressure to be with someone (majorly, a man) in order to elevate your worth is both crushing and humiliating. Its humiliating to want it, but its more humiliating to not have it. But its also bad to NOT want it, because that means somethings wrong with you, but most importantly, if noone wants you, thats the worst, because then theres REALLY something wrong with you. The marriage of this with being a lesbian eats away at me at all times. But again, if I talk about it, I simply “dont love myself enough”. I know I’m arospec, but I also know that I desire the experience of healthy, romantic love. I think it takes self love to know thyself. And though you should do your best to heal to be the best person you can for yourself and your partner-- I have always rejected the idea that love comes with prerequisites.  To wrap my feelings up (for now) I don’t think that I disagree that you should spread love however you can on this day (if you want to). I fully encourage people to celebrate their loved ones in the absense of romance. I think its great to spend that time “with your parents or something”. Just exhausted how year after year my lifelong experiences as a lesbian and an aro person are, in one day, boiled down to “just being bitter” lol Im hashtagging this to hell, because I wonder if other people feel this way and would feel less alone if they saw it hahaha 

Happy Valentine’s Day!! 

(Sincerely)

[vanikolya]

Im praying i dint have the wrong acc.

ANYWAY ROMANTIC SHO HCS *GRABS YOU AND SHAKES YOU VIOLENTLY*

that or like. Sibling fret that also works depending on what u feel like writing.

cw: none

reader info: they/them, no gendered terms used

notes: i can't tell if i hate this header or not but oh well. hi basil!! im watching an omori video whilst writing this note and the dude keeps saying basil and it's throwing me off, i think this is kinda funny and related bc you mentioned him but did you know about my funny little crush on fret yet? SHSJDJS uh for anyone who isn't basil there are some basil specific things here bc we're ✨️ friends ✨️ so

SHO MINAMIMOTO RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

miracle you both even ended up in a relationship ngl knowing sho

firm believer of the idea that he has very little emotional awareness and would also definetely not be the first to admit he loves you

even when he does say it most of the time it's some mathematical equivalent that you have to work out, some couples leave notes for each other that just say "i love you", sho leaves noted that say "solve for i: 9x - 7i > 3(3x - 7u)'

spoiler alert "i < 3u"

i think despite being not very emotionally aware he'd try his best to do things to help cheer you up when you're like, definetely, no doubt about it, outwardly upset or angry

although for the angry part he has definetely offered to kill someone if needed

bro can enter and leave the RG as he pleases, what is he gonna do, get arrested? it's the perfect crime

only i can turn relationship headcanons into murder talk wh, is this what i get for being aro

he also has like a very limited scope of people he cares a lot about, including you and, idk you're the only name on this list

he'd be an extremely unconventional partner ngl, bro ignores stereotypically romantic things like flowers and chocolates with a vehement passion, and would much rather just spend time with you normally as opposed to going on fancy planned date

i'd say he sometimes disappears for a week during his turns as game master but i feel like he'd get bored some days and just. "oh well i only need to be here to give tasks and then for a fight on the last day, yeah i have time to kill" and go visit you or somethin

i also feel like a lot of the times he comes to see you are completely unannounced. shows up at your door as if him randomly showing up for no reason is the normallest thing ever

HE'S LIKE. A CAT. THATS WHY OMG

will infodump to you about maths

he's adjusting to the fact that dyscalculate people exist pls excuse his ever-persistent maths talk 😔✊️✊️

he's slowly incorporating making sure both of you have eaten and drank something into his somewhat daily schedule

wait does sho even need to eat and drink

oh well

although when he does remember he's not going to let it go until he sees you eat/drink something

sho: grabs you drink water

least famous reference i'll ever make

i can't see him as being super physically affectionate like by himself, but would definetely be affectionate with you if you asked

like ykwim like if u asked to cuddle or something

i mean he'd probably say something teasing about it first but shh ignore him he has "i like you, i'm going to be mean to you but affectionately" type of caring for people

uh i'm gonna post these now because they keep not saving properly i've rewritten some of these sections like 3 times oops

[thecourtjester12]

Hello, friend!! Can I call you that? I'm not sure... I'm so sorry I didn't send an ask sooner! How have you been? I hope you've been well! Make sure you've been getting plenty of rest and water, and please do take breaks if you need them! I'm sure your event has been stressful to manage, and I've heard you had a lot of alt blogs on top of that! That's quite the juggle!

Please do fill me in on what's been going on since my last asks to you, my birds only tell me so much. No pressure, of course, but I feel as though you deserve to at least reflect on your accomplishments! Doesn't everyone need a confidence boost like that?

~🌻 Sunflower Anon, who has missed you dearly!

Sorry it's taken me a few days to answer you! I wasn't ignoring you or anything, just wasn't too up to answering and wanted to answer you properly! Always nice to see you too!

Hello! And sure! I'm perfectly ok with you calling me friend if you'd like! ^-^

And no worries about taking a bit to send another ask, send them whenever you want to and are feeling up to, don't feel bad if its awhile in between!

I have been ok, sometimes stuff can get too much so I try to step back for a bit and go with the flow a bit and focus on being ok again :3 The same goes back at you! Make sure to get enough rest and drink water and take care of yourself as well! ^-^

The event hasn't been too bad to manage, I most do things in the background, occasionally pull some strings and keep things organized as much as I can, which works great, I much prefer to work behind the scenes (While I am not opposed to spotlight, theres simply something nice about keeping all the lil details of something organized :3)

I certainly have a good few (not as many as SOMEONE I know, yes, I mean you Moonlight, they keep growing) But most of them don't get as much virtual traffic to them so I mostly do things on two 70% of the time which are this one and my main side one jestersdlc

Two other's are ask blogs, and those don't get asks too frequently so they mostly just chill there :3

And the last (known) one is a group one and that one is pretty slow on us all to update it, so it's not toooo bad :3 I can't remember exactly when your last ask was...(time wise I mean >_<) So I'll try my best! Not sure there's much to say tho :3

Idk if PDC was made before or after...but me and a pair of friends (whom you may know, Qwill and Sol) made an au blog called playdatecollectorau where we kinda shove a bunch of our au's together so we can have our beans have 'playdates' theres LORE of course, cause lore is awesome

Mostly just intro stuff on there atm but it's fun to have and plan

I have accumulated....more AU's, there is...so many for DCA au's there is....10 and a half (the half is PDC) (JDCAU, J-TOL, LOTC, MIW, LSAU, REDACTED, NBCau, ESSau, CTAMK and secret) along with a few TSAM's ones which there is...less of 3 and a half (Starboy, CuddleBug, SolarMoon and Dream Eater (which is the half cause its...all encompassing lets say)

And just recently got the SolarAndMoon blog up and running which is nice, they look real squishy

I have a couple little projects on the go or completed as well, a few oneshots have been posted (mostly on my side blog...) and am currently working on a mini series for Aromantic awareness week!

Certain characters are being...uncooperative...but I shall figure something out! (...moreso idk much on certain beans yet so its making it finicky to write them >_<)

and IT IS ARO WEEK NOW! ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

So that is exciting, excuse to wear green (one of my favorite colors) and spread awareness for aromanticism! Its great :3

AND new pronouns! Idk if you popped in last before or after that but that was a funky thing, I now use she/they and ey/em/eir so thats fun! ^-^

And I have a few lil secret projects of course :3

I think that sums everything up.....sorry for the really long response! Hopefully you don't mind >_<

I'm in ramble mode rn from rambling to my friend about certain beans being disaster bi's and a disaster lesbian and silly shenanigans for certain au's

How have you been doing? If you're comfy sharing of course, feel free to ramble in turn if you'd like! No pressure tho! ^-^

But remember you deserve a nice confidence booster too :3

[kermiekermie]

reminder that i could give less of a shit what labels someone uses. someone elses labels will NEVER and CANNOT "invalidate" or "harm" YOUR labels and YOUR identity. there are some labels that are harmful (likes "MAPs" and "zoos") but those are not harmful for the same reason as others.

if someone is using a label because they genuinely feel it describes their identity, then its none of my fucking business.

heres a rant about my personal stance on things like lesbian definition discourse, xenopronouns/genders, and things of that nature:

please, im begging some of you, go outside and talk to a queer person over the age of 25 and they can tell you about the history behind some of the terms that you guys go fucking feral over!!!!

i have a gay uncle in his 40s, and if i asked him or his husband about some of the things you guys act like are SUCH a THREAT to the queer community they wouldnt give a single shit!

the fact that we as queer people even have the privilege to be worried about things like microlabels and neopronouns and xenogenders and trans peoples labels is insane! we are so lucky that people feel safe enough to be openly queer!!! its not like that everywhere!!!

for me specifically the biggest offender of this is lesbian discourse. its def not as prominent as algorithms make it out to be but it gets on my NERVES!!! we dont need to make up new definitions OR police who is and isnt a lesbian because tbh? its their business, not yours. if someone says theyre a lesbian to me, then theyre a lesbian. im not reading deeper into what definition they use and their gender and how they present. it doesnt mean i have to be attracted to them or they have to be and look and identify a certain way, it just means they think the lesbian label fits them, and thats chill w me.

im also not gonna ask about the microbial sized details about their romantic and sexual labels. even if its doesnt make sense to me, it makes sense to them! and thats okay! saying something is invalid bc it doesnt make sense to YOU is using the same logic who are "against gay / trans people" because THEY dont understand. it doesnt MATTER if you understand or not, they are worthy of your respect unless they are directly harming people.

if someone who isnt ace or aro uses the split attraction model, i could give less of a shit! sure, i might not agree with it or support it ir even understand it, but im not gonna tell them to reevaluate their entire identity to find one that makes ME comfortable. labels are about YOU!

ive gone thru completely unnecessary crisises because some of yall dont know how to respect identities. ive hidden parts of my identity because they dont make sense to other people, ive stopped using microlabels because i dont want death threats, etc. im tired of it. we should all just learn to not give a shit and respect each other. discourse does nothing but tear this community apart, when its supposed to be all about supporting each other and being proud of knowing who you are.

im sooo fucking tired of this policing everybody's identitys bs just get over urselves

[like-rain-or-confetti]

A Story (Alec Volturi x Reader)

You opened your eyes, sitting up straight. Your back was stiff. You were in your bathtub, fully clothed, soaked. The bathwater threatening to spill over and freezing. You frowned. “I need to stop drinking.” You grumbled before rolling out of the tub. You groaned, too sore to even consider standing up. You’d clean the mess later. You crawled into your bedroom before flopping onto the floor. This had to be the last time you drank, it had to be. Better ignoring that you definitely could have drowned, since you were so intoxicated that you tried to take a bath and didn't even take off your clothes. You couldn’t even remember the night before so really, it wasn’t worth it. Whilst you didn’t have a headache, thankfully, you just felt tired...and cold. Phone, where was it? You groaned, a sudden feeling you had left it in the bathroom. You didn't see it around your room and it wasn't in any pockets thankfully. With a sigh, you figured you couldn’t avoid the day any longer, although it would be very nice to try. Regardless, you slowly got up and trudged back into the bathroom. 

Your phone was on the floor, next to the bath. A couple of water droplets lay on the screen but remained undamaged...although it had twenty percent battery left. You had two missed calls from Alice. You checked your texts to find none. You decided to call Carlisle who picked up after two rings.  “Hello?”  “Carlisle, it’s (Y/N).” You said.  “Hello, are you okay?”  “Yeah, i’m good. I just...do you know if i was drinking last night?” Carlisle seemed amused. “No, why?”  “Oh, no reason. I just, woke up weird and tired.”  “Im sure you could have done that without alcohol.”You could hear his smile in his voice. You hummed in amusement.  “Are you coming to visit today?”  “Yeah, I can do that.”  “I just wanted to check since you said you would yesterday?” Carlisle responded. “I did? I must have forgotten but yeah, i can do that. I’ll come over later. I’m going to take a nap first, okay?”  “Alright, I’ll see you soon.”  “Bye, Carlisle.” 

When you arrived at the Cullen’s, they seemed as though they were waiting.  “The Volturi are coming to visit.” Carlisle informed you.  “The who?” You made a face of confusion.  “The Volturi.”  “I’m going to assume thats some vampire friends i don’t know about.” You shrugged. Carlisle turned to you with a look of confusion of his own. “You’ve-” He paused. Carlisle's eyes widened, a sickening thought rushed through him. Panic rushed through Carlisle realising the likelihood of his thought become more and more likely. "Stay here for a while. We have guests, I believe you'll have met them before." Carlisle swallowed hard trying not to scare you. You lightly shrugged. 

A group of seven arrived, all dressed in black and grey with cloaks, varying in the same colours. You could tell they were an older coven with how they moved. You were given their names and noted the odd looks they gave you. You figured it was down to being human, you were a big no-no from what you remember. "Do you know these people?" Carlisle asked you before putting his hand into Aro's in a weird bizarre handshake. You shook your head. "No. We haven't met." Carlisle inhaled.

This made Esme step towards you. "(Y/N), why don't you help me in the kitchen?" She smiled. "Carlisle will get our guests settled in before you make their acquaintance." You nodded. "Sure thing, Esme." Without a second glance you turned, heading for the kitchen, Esme sending Carlisle a glance. 

Half an hour passed and Esme led you to the living room where the Volturi awaited your presence. Your eyes immediately shot to Carlisle, nervous about meeting his friends but he nodded in encouragement. The leader in the middle was the first to greet you. "You must be young (Y/N), we've heard so much about you. We are delighted to meet you. My name is Aro." "Hi...it's nice to meet you too." You nodded. He held out a hand and you hesitantly reached out thinking it was a handshake. Instead, he cradled your hand in his own briefly. A flicker of an unrecognisable emotion passing his face before his wide smile returned. "These are my brothers, Caius and Marcus." The two men beside him nodded to you and you offered them shy smiles. He gestured to who you were told were their guards. "This is Jane, Alec, Demetri and Felix." You nodded. "Hi." You said nervously as the four nodded at you. Later that night you huddled into your seat. "So you guys have been around for a long time?" You asked looking over the Volturi members. "Yes. Quite." Aro smiled slightly. "Do you guys have any good stories? Surely you've got at least one after all this time." The Volturi looked around amongst each other, Marcus kept his head down whilst the Cullen's looked around uncertain of how to continue the conversation. Marcus spoke up, meeting your gaze. "I have a story. It was quite some time ago but I believe it's one our coven cherishes." All eyes were on Marcus, uncertain just what he was doing. However, you seemed pleased. "I'd love to hear it...if you're willing to tell it." "I believe it would be a good one to tell." Marcus nodded. "This is a story about a human we once knew, one who after all this time will continue to be very special to us." 

(Y/N) caught Alec in their sights as he approached the door to the spare bedroom. "Alec!" They cried out with a grin. "You're here!" "So are you." Alec said peeking around the door. "What are you doing here? You don't live here." Alec couldn't help the amused smirk building upon his face as he watched (Y/N) struggle to reach for something on top of the closet. "I'm visiting but...! I can't reach my folder! I left it here the last time I stayed over. It has all my documents in there." With a defeated sigh, (Y/N) began to drag themselves down the closet doors. "I'd offer my assistance but I don't think I can't do anything without damaging furniture." Alec pondered. Alec's eyes suddenly glinted, clearly having an idea. "Come here." Alec bent down. "What am I doing?" They asked with confusion. "You're going to sit on my shoulders and I'll lift you up." Alec responded. (Y/N) made a noise of protest but couldn't think of a reason why. They couldn't necessarily tell him you were too heavy, tall or would hurt him given Alec was inhumanly strong. "...Promise you won't drop me?" They asked him. Alec looked unimpressed. "I have no reason to drop you now, come on." (Y/N) whined quietly in defeat once again moving to Alec. 

As they got into position they looked down at him nervously. "You're sure I won't hurt you?" (Y/N) asked and Alec rolled his eyes, wrapping his hands around their ankles and standing up with ease. (Y/N) squealed, although it seemed Alec was right. He wouldn't drop them. "Oh it's all the way at the back, I bet Emmett did that. Can you take a step forward please?" Alec complied and suddenly the folder was in arm's length. (Y/N) grabbed it. "Thank you!" "Did you know that it's very likely you couldn't get down now that I have a hold of your ankles?" Alec smirked and (Y/N)’s smile of accomplishment vanished. "You'd get tired quickly." They retorted. "Would I? Shall we see how long I last?" Alec responded. "If you don't put me down, I'll eventually pee on you. It's inevitable." Alec immediately pulled a face of disgust, crouching back down and letting (Y/N) stand up.  "So are you visiting the Cullen's or have you broke in? Oh! Oh! Did you run away from the Volturi and so have sought shelter with the Cullen's?" They asked. He scoffed. "My coven is visiting to check the progress of the hybrid." Alec answered. 

Later that night, (Y/N) and Alec were outside, sitting on the Cullen's balcony floor. "Why do you need those? Those documents?" Alec asked turning his head towards them. "Oh, it's just stuff to keep the state happy. It's documents saying that Carlisle is my emergency contact and stuff, he's my legal guardian though I'm not living with him. I'm in contact with him frequently and he gives me money for my house. All of that stuff. Boring really." "You still haven't been in contact with your parents?" Alec asked and (Y/N) smiled at him sadly before shaking their head. "You should reach out, (Y/N). The argument was a typical one. They have no reason to hold a grudge against their own child for this long over something so trivial." "It's a little more complicated than that. Although I guess deep down, I like to think that maybe I do have their forgiveness." They admitted. "You didn't do anything wrong. Besides, for the last option, you could always make them forget the argument ever happened and avoid the topic forever." Alec smirked at (Y/N) who playfully shoved him. "Thanks Alec." They said with sarcasm. "It'll be okay, I assure you." Alec said to them. "They'll come around if they aren't already waiting for you to come back to them." 

(Y/N)’s gift was phenomenal. Unique but dangerous due to its impact. They could make people forget things, everything really. Whether it were, events memories or thoughts, none of them were exempt. The only person it didn't work on was themselves. Since meeting the Cullen's and eventually Alec, (Y/N) had better control of their gift making them a very tempting addition to Aro's collection. Although that was still very much in discussion. Whilst they'd have to be changed at some point, it wasn't consensus that they were to join the Volturi. As a matter of fact, it was highly debated among both covens instead. 

"You talk about my ability like you can trust me with it. I'm still learning, you could be forgotten at any time." Alec chuckled. "First of all, it doesn't work on yourself. Secondly, you don't forget someone like me." Alec's smile faded. "Not for good reasons, might I add." "Good reasons for me... you've been nicer to me lately." (Y/N) said. "I'm trying...it's not your fault you're human." Alec smirked slightly. (Y/N) narrowed your eyes on him playfully. "It's all I can ask." Alec wasn't the most open individual nor the kindest. He certainly had nothing nice to say about (Y/N) when they first met. Although over time, he gradually warmed up to them- even if it was reluctantly. Now (Y/N) felt like Alec understood them better than anyone in the world and accepted them. It made their bond to him stronger than most bonds could ever be. (Y/N) was confident that a piece of them would always be connected to Alec, nothing could divide them from him.

None of the Volturi really understood why Carlisle had a form of guardianship over (Y/N) and what a conflict with their parents actually meant for them to no longer be around their parents. Whilst the Volturi wanted to respect their privacy, it was important to them if (Y/N) were to become a vampire eventually. It was necessary to have the details. Although even being close with Alec didn't give them any answers as (Y/N) never told him any complete details. 

There was an argument about (Y/N) wanting to be independent, treated less like a child and since then, they hadn't been near them since. Whilst this seemed logical that (Y/N) left, it didn't make sense why their parents hadn't reached out to them in so long. So much so (Y/N) was convinced that they couldn't be forgiven. 

Marcus asked (Y/N) about their parents when talking one night. "Do they know about your gift?" He asked. (Y/N) wanted to wince at the reference of their ability being a 'gift' when there was very little actually pleasant about it. "No, they don't. I never told them and after that argument, I guess I had made up my mind they could never know."  "Do you miss them?" Marcus asked. "I try to forget about them if I'm honest." (Y/N) answered. This response made Marcus tilt his head slightly. They looked at him, really scrutinizing him. Marcus was the most kind and gentle of the Volturi leaders. (Y/N) couldn't help but trust him, especially after he came to defence of their friendship with Alec to anyone who questioned it. Marcus had always made it clear that the bond Alec shared with them was undeniable. "Can I tell you the full story?" "If you wish." Marcus said quietly. 

(Y/N) could remember the moment that their house stopped being your home. Everything was as it always had been. Signs of life, nothing missing from it's usual place. However, it was no longer welcoming as it had been before. Even the photographs of (Y/N) and their family, scattered around the place. Things were different now. Instead of a family, there were just memories of one. It took some time for (Y/N) to understand how their gift worked. Although they were forced to learn the hard way. (Y/N) had been arguing with their parents when (Y/N) said something about forgetting (Y/N) ever existed. Their parents did. They never had any children by that name. Nor had they ever seen (Y/N) before. All memories of them gone in a matter of moments. From then on (Y/N) could only see their parents from a distance, outside their house. Their parents wondered why they had pictures with the strange person in their house and got rid of them too. "I wanted to remember every inch of them as they were. Their eyes, nose, mouth, hair. Every tiny detail, because I knew after today. I'd never see them again." (Y/N) told Marcus. "Why are you so determined to pretend this didn't happen rather than embrace it and carry on?" Marcus asked. There was a moment of silence. Neither of the two looking at one another. "You rejected Corin's gift when offered comfort after your loss. Why?" (Y/N) responded. Marcus thought about the answer but it didn't require much thought. He had spent decades thinking about that decision and why he made it. "Because I wanted to feel the pain. I didn't want to feel content about her death." (Y/N) thought over his answer before replying, sadness almost radiating from them. "See that's where you and I differ. I want nothing more than to forget." Their voice was quieter as they looked down at their hands. It was safe to say, Alec was furious at (Y/N) when he found they had left out such an important detail when it came to why their parents didn't speak to them. (Y/N) had more than one chance to tell him and they didn't. It felt like a betrayal, like they had lied. Alec only ever asked (Y/N) to be honest with him, no secrets. This secret was a pretty big one at the very least. (Y/N), on the other hand, didn't think anything wrong with that. They were allowed some privacy like every other person. They were sure Alec didn't tell them everything so why should they share something they simply hadn't been ready to speak about until that moment. It was how the argument had began and it seemed the more defensive (Y/N) got, the more angry Alec became. 

"This isn't a big deal, you're making something out of nothing!" (Y/N) said with exasperation. "It is something, (Y/N)! You didn't trust me with the full story and you told Marcus! Even Carlisle knew!" "Carlisle had to know!" (Y/N) argued back. "If he didn't I'd have been taken by social services! I told Marcus because I was ready to talk about it and I knew he wouldn't make a big deal out of it! It was nothing to do with trust!" Alec scoffed sending them a sneer. That was when their anger had begun to really build. "Am I honestly supposed to believe that you tell me everything!?" (Y/N) snapped. "That's different! There are parts of my life that aren't necessary and would only scare you." "Like your complete lack of trust and hatred towards humans for being burned at the stake? Like the dark, twisted things you and your coven have done in the name of justice?" "You don't know what you're talking about." Alec said icily. "You're just a little human who thinks they know everything when they know nothing. I have given you no reason not to trust me-" "Alec, I didn't do anything to you! Ever! I didn't accuse you of witch craft! So what did I ever do to you like the rest of the human population!?" Alec laughed darkly. "Of course, you wouldn't understand. How could I expect you to? You're only human." 

(Y/N) was stunned into silence before fury took over them. "You are cold." (Y/N) said, anger and disgust in their eyes. "Cold and empty. So empty you have to suck out the life of everyone around you to feel even an ounce of emotion. Perhaps that is what your village  saw in you! Perhaps that's what Aro sees in you! A monster just like the rest of your coven!" (Y/N) looked taken aback by their own words, stunned. When they saw the look of growing rage upon Alec's face, they knew they had done it again. Like they had with your parents, they lashed out with hurtful words they didn't mean. Alec was very hurt. (Y/N) knew by the emotion overpowering his stoic gaze. "I'm so sorry." (Y/N) whispered, their anger rushing away as they began to feel nothing but guilt. The look Alec gave (Y/N) could kill but instead he began to walk by them. (Y/N) reached out for him, grabbing his hand. "Alec, wait-" They began but gasped as they immediately felt cold numbness crawl up their arm. Alec roughly tore their hand off him and they were so caught off guard that they didn't even notice the slight pain you felt within their fingers. Suddenly (Y/N) felt like they were on fire. 

(Y/N) screamed, collapsing to the ground, seeing Jane was now beside her brother. The two watched (Y/N) scream without sympathy. "So that's how you really feel." Jane said simply. Alice and Carlisle were quick to rush by the twins and towards (Y/N). "Enough! Not in my house!" Carlisle barked.  The pain stopped, only (Y/N)’s hysterical crying being heard. "I didn't mean it!" They cried out as Alice pulled them into a hug, hushing them. "It's okay." She told (Y/N). "You're okay."

It was obvious that all the Cullen's and the Volturi knew what had happened and surprisingly enough the Volturi also seemed rather angry by (Y/N)’s outburst. Alec had made it known, (Y/N) wasn’t worth his time. (Y/N)’s true feelings had finally come to light. Yet none of the Volturi seemed to believe them when they said it wasn't true. Despite knowing (Y/N) sometimes said things they didn't mean. The last time they had seen their parents being one of them. 

It had been Marcus that suggested the two covens separated for the night for some space. Especially since the Volturi hadn't fed yet. However, much to (Y/N)’s surprise, someone of the Volturi had phoned the Cullen's. Whoever it was, was asking on the leaders behalf how they were. If (Y/N) had to guess it was Marcus. If they were hopeful, Alec would want to know too. (Y/N) stared at Carlisle, who stood at the entrance way. "Marcus wants to know if you're okay." Carlisle said. "However I'm not entirely sure what to tell him. So, how are you (Y/N)?" (Y/N) slowly met his eyes. They looked exhausted from how upset they had been. "Tell him what he wants to hear. Tell him that I'm fine." Their voice croaked slightly. "I don't think I can do that." Carlisle said softly. "Why?" (Y/N) responded flatly. "You're asking me to lie for you." Carlisle replied. "He thinks I'm a monster. So it's better he thinks that way." Carlisle began to protest but Esme appeared with the phone. "Would you be willing to speak to him?" Carlisle asked, taking the phone from Esme. Even as Carlisle put it on speaker, Marcus asked if (Y/N) was alright. He even acknowledged that Jane's behaviour wasn't necessary. Somewhat of an apology. However (Y/N) stayed put, simply staring at the phone. After another few moments of silence, Carlisle took the phone off speaker before putting the phone to his ear. "My apologies, Marcus. I don't think they're feeling well enough to come to the phone right now. They appreciate your concern." "Of course, Carlisle." Marcus responded. "I thought it best to express my concern given Jane's gift." Marcus lifted his gaze to the twins, Jane looking indifferent whilst Alec's eyes were latched onto Marcus. "Emotions are high right now, would you appreciate our return tomorrow?" "Of course." Carlisle responded. "I'm going to keep (Y/N) here over night to keep an eye on them but I'm sure they will be just fine." After some more conversation, Marcus bid farewell and hung up the phone. 

He turned to Alec. "I assure you, they didn't mean it." "That doesn't matter." Caius snapped. "They still said it." Marcus turned his gaze to Caius. "You suffer from the same flaw Caius. If anyone should be understanding, it's you." "Why should I take the time to understand? They're human. That's a waste of energy." Marcus turned back to Alec. "Trust me. I'd know if there were any truth in their words." 

"They're coming back tomorrow?" (Y/N) whispered. Carlisle nodded. "We can take you home before they get here if you like. However, I feel more comfortable keeping an eye on you tonight after..." Carlisle trailed off but (Y/N) knew. After Jane used her ability on them. (Y/N) nodded. They were given the option to stick around the next day. Although (Y/N) declined, deciding they'd go home instead. 

"I'll drop you off." Alice said brightly in attempt to keep the mood light. "Thanks." (Y/N) said quietly. Alice, Carlisle and Esme went quiet. "Let's go out the front." Alice smiled. "I'll go and get my keys and meet you at the car okay?" (Y/N) nodded. "Sure." "Come and visit tomorrow." Esme nodded to them with a smile, bringing (Y/N) into a hug. "Okay." They responded quietly, offering her a small brief smile before heading out the door. 

Just as the door shut behind (Y/N), the Volturi moved into the living room after being let in by Jasper. Carlisle was quick to welcome them. Before they could ask, Carlisle explained whilst Alice passed by with her keys in hand. "Alice will be back shortly. She's taking (Y/N) home." 

Alice grinned at (Y/N) as she walked down the path. "Alright, ready to go?" Even now she was trying to keep the mood light. (Y/N) nodded. "Yeah. Thanks for the ride." "Of course!" Alice responded. (Y/N) kept their eyes on her, not daring to look at the house until they were in the car. 

Two days passed and Alec still wasn't speaking to )Y/N). Although (Y/N) figured it would have been best if they were the one to reach out to him given the situation as well as knowing Alec wasn't necessarily one to do any kind of approaching unless it were to kill them. (Y/N) found him alone and decided that was a better opportunity than any. He sat his his back to them, seemingly reading in Carlisle's study. "Alec?" (Y/N) asked quietly. They didn't receive a response, not even the turn of his head. He remained unmoving. "Could we talk for a minute? I want to apologise again. I didn't mean it but I still said it and I shouldn't have. It was an awful thing to say and I'm so sorry." Their words still didn't earn even the turn of Alec's head. "I can't stand not talking to you." (Y/N) began. "You're my best friend and I miss you. I want to make it up to you. To show you that I’m sorry and that I'd never think such a thing of you." (Y/N) still received no response. They sighed. "I don't know what to do here." "What makes you think you can do anything?" Alec's voice was cold. Although (Y/N) considered it progress. Especially as he turned around to look at (Y/N). His face was unforgiving, gaze piercing and his mouth in a tight line. "We both know I'm going to hurt you regardless." Suddenly he was standing and slowly moving towards them. (Y/N) took a step back. "You're scaring me." They said, trying to maintain the distance. He looked at (Y/N) like he did everyone else. He looked at them like he wanted them to burn as he did, like (Y/N) deserved more than he ever did. Alec looked like he most certainly would hurt them or even kill them. "I didn't mean it!" (Y/N) pleaded. "I'm sorry!" Alec glared at (Y/N). "It was my fault. It won't happen again." (Y/N) faltered. "What?" “It’s my fault for thinking you were different from any other disgusting wretched human!” Alec had most certainly returned the favour, his words cut (Y/N) to the core. They felt tears well up in their eyes. "Get out." Alec snarled and they did. Without question. 

Another day or so passed and (Y/N) had an idea of how to fix all of it. Once again, (Y/N) waited until he was alone, this time he was outside by the tree line before the woods. "I'm mad at myself too, you know." (Y/N) began, crossing your arms over your chest. "I felt the same way when I made my parents forget about me. The confusion and fear they had to see someone claim to be their child, have photographs with them but have no recollection of them ever existing. I was so angry with myself for saying what I did and I'm even more angry that I did it again but this time to you. I meant what I said Alec. You're my best friend. What I'm trying to say is that I get it, if you hate me. I understand. Although I really do want to try anything I can to make this up to you." His back was still towards (Y/N). "You won't even look at me." (Y/N) said quietly. Alec turned to look at them with an empty stare. "Alec..." (Y/N) trailed off. "I want you to forget this happened." "What?" Alec's eyes narrowed on them. "I want you to be happy. I never wanted to hurt you. So I want you to forget-" "No!" Alec covered his ears and shut his eyes tightly. "Alec, look at me." (Y/N) stepped closer. "No! Get back!" Alec yelled. That was when Carlisle hurried in between them both. "What is it?" Carlisle asked, looking between them both. "They're trying to make me forget!" "It's better this way!" (Y/N) pleaded to Carlisle. "I never meant for any of this and it's hurting him! I can fix it!" "(Y/N), I want you to listen to me very carefully." Carlisle began, blocking them from Alec. “These thoughts, these memories, they don’t belong to you. They are not yours to take." "I-" (Y/N) struggled to respond. Feeling both the eyes of Alec and Carlisle on them. Carlisle put his hands on their shoulders. "This isn't the way." "I can't believe you!" Alec spat. "This is how you want to make it up to me? Wipe my memory and pretend it never happened!?" (Y/N) could see the hatred in Alec's eyes. Any second chance he had considered was long gone. 

In that moment (Y/N) gave in. They knew they couldn't fix it. (Y/N) couldn't make it up to him and he wasn't willing to forget. It was over. Jane was the first to storm up to (Y/N) when they came back into the house. She was immediately held back and to their surprise she didn't use her gift.  However, she did rant that they were lucky she couldn't slap you at the very least. Although she didn't need to. (Y/N) was suffering enough. They didn't look at anyone, instead walking out the front door. Alec and Carlisle entered the house, Alec yelling in outrage. Carlisle simply wasn't listening to him. His eyes immediately searching for (Y/N). "They left...what happened?" Rosalie asked. Carlisle said nothing, rushing out the door after (Y/N). 

It was night time and most certainly not safe for them to walk home alone but they were determined to. Tears running down their cheeks, arms crossed over their chest as they briskly walked down the road. "(Y/N)!" They heard Carlisle call out behind them. (Y/N) didn't respond, continuing to walk away. Suddenly Carlisle was behind them, tugging them back. "(Y/N), it's not safe out here. Come back inside, we can figure-" "No!" (Y/N) shouted back. "Get off of me! I'm going home!" "Let me take you home then, come back to the car." Carlisle said. "I'm not going back in there! I’ve lost everything! It's my fault! I lost my friend, I lost my parents and there's no one else to blame but myself!" (Y/N) yelled. "(Y/N), you are a wonderful person with a remarkable gift. You just need some guidance. We can help you, just come back. I'll take you home!" Carlisle pleaded. "You know what the cruel part about my gift is Carlisle?" (Y/N) said significantly more quiet, an eerie calmness taking over them. "I can't use it on myself. I can make everyone around me forget anything but the one who wants to forget the most is me." (Y/N) took a step forward. "Can you take me home please?" Carlisle nodded. 

Outside (Y/N)’s house, Carlisle pulled over. "Come to the house tomorrow. We'll have something figured out by morning." (Y/N) sighed before nodding. "Alright, I'll do it." "This will improve, (Y/N). We'll talk things over with them." Carlisle assured them. "Yeah, just at what cost?" (Y/N) mumbled. "I lost my friend. Alec will never speak to me again." "You don't know that." Carlisle responded hurriedly. "I do." (Y/N) said. "I'm just going to sleep this off. I'll see you tomorrow." 

(Y/N) decided to run a bath later that night. Kneeling on the floor they turned on the tap which began to fill the tub. They felt the weight of every decision they had made on their body and no longer could they even cry about it. Whilst (Y/N) thought a bath would be best, they didn't really care about it being too warm or too cold. As a matter of fact, they didn't think further than the action itself. 

"They hurt me." Alec ground out. Marcus wanted Alec to see reason. Not only that, Marcus wanted Alec to admit the reality of the situation and not hide from it. It was of no surprise to him considering (Y/N) was the first proper friend Alec had, the closest anyone had ever come to the twins. "Just as you hurt them." Marcus replied. "You've hurt many people, Alec. (Y/N) is one of many on that list. Yet regardless, they want you in their life. They want your friendship. You want to punish them but you don't realise they've already punished themselves. More so than is necessary. Furthermore, you aren't just punishing (Y/N), you're punishing yourself. I know you want to be their friend but you won't let yourself." "They-" "You're torturing yourself as much as your torturing them." Marcus said simply. "I think they frightened you, boy. I think you forgave them the minute they said it and that frightened you." Alec didn't have a response. As much as he tried. He couldn't tell Marcus he was wrong because he wasn't. "I can't trust them." Alec responded. "You can. You simply won't. They said awful things but still want you in their life. Apologizing the minute it was said. You've never experienced that and it bothers you that it makes it difficult to act in your usual response." "I don't know how." Alec said after a moment of silence. "I don't know how to show that I care about them and I don't know how to show it when I forgive them. I'm so used to pushing people away that...I don't know how to let people in." "You tell them." Marcus responded. "Even if it means you need to say it to yourself first. Put down the weight of the past. Even if it's only for them." Silence filled the room. "I forgive them." Alec said under his breath, it was quiet, barely audible but there none the less. 

Alice tilted her head, staring at nothing in particular. “What is it Alice?” Jasper asked. “I think i should check on (Y/N).” She responded. “I can’t be sure but i think something is wrong.”  “They’re upset.” Carlisle responded. “Do you suspect they’re in danger?” Alice tilted her head again. “I don’t think so. It’s hard to tell, I see them and then it just goes black.”  “Why not give them a call?” Esme asked lightly. Alice nodded, immediately going for her phone. 

(Y/N)’s phone buzzed beside them, as they sat and watched the running tap. It was a text from Bella, telling them that Jake and the pack were around the area, making sure they knew the Volturi wouldn’t come within their vicinity for the night. (Y/N) was about to respond when they got a phone call from Alice.  “Hello?” (Y/N) answered.  “Hi (Y/N), I just wanted to check in with you since things didn’t end too well tonight.” They paused and Alice noticed. “They’re just leaving now for the night.” Alice said, locking eyes with Alec as the Volturi moved towards the door.  “I’ll be fine.” (Y/N) responded.  “I... thought i had a vision of you but, I couldn’t see anything.” (Y/N) smiled slightly with a hum of amusement. “You don’t need to look out for me, Alice. I’m just going to go for a bath and head to bed.”  “Are you sure?” Alice asked.  “Of course. Besides, I’ve already began running the water...as you know.” Alice hummed quietly in amusement. “This will be fixed tomorrow.” (Y/N) swallowed. “I know.” (Y/N) said quietly.  “It’s a good sign they want to see you, you know?” Alice said.  “I can only hope.” They said simply.  “Anyway, get some sleep and i’ll speak to you tomorrow, yeah?”  “Yeah, have a good night Alice.”  “See you tomorrow, (Y/N).” 

When (Y/N) hung up the phone, a tear ran down their cheek. ‘disgusting wretched human!’ Alec’s voice rang in their head. (Y/N) put their phone on the floor next to them. (Y/N) felt their clothes stick to them as they sank into the water, leaning back in the bath. The calm luke-warm water peaceful, like their mind. (Y/N) felt a tear run down their cheek. (Y/N) shook their head biting back their tears. Before any more could fall, (Y/N) slowly sank underneath the water. After a brief moment,(Y/N) sat up, their hair dripped as they felt another wave of calm wash over them. (Y/N) noticed a reflection of the ceiling along the water. An idea rushed to their mind and that was when they knew, what they had to do. (Y/N) hunched over slightly, arms moving to the edge of the tub, more droplets falling down the sides. They looked at their reflection.  “You’re going to forget. You’re going to forget the Volturi, forget what happened. You’ll forget ever meeting them. You’re going to forget that you have a gift to make people forget things. You won’t think to even question it. If it’s brought up. It’ll be like a dream, or story that you made up. You’ll forget ever using it, you wont remember to question why your parents aren't around.” It wasn’t known when (Y/N) had stopped repeating those very words. Although it wouldn’t concern them, they’d forgotten they had ever done it. "If only (Y/N) would have waited. If only we were quicker. Then maybe we would have had the time to tell them that they were forgiven. That for some of us, there was nothing to forgive. Maybe if we had spent more thought, we'd have known how much hurt they truly felt. However by then, it was too late what was done was done. They'd forgotten who we were, forgotten what they had done and all the details in between, washed away by their gift. We'd never know if such a gift could be reversed but could only hope that they've found peace and happiness. They'd live out their life, never knowing the happiness they gave and the joy they spread to many."  Marcus finished.

Many in the room couldn't help but glance at you, wanting to see your reaction. Perhaps a flicker of recognition would show. Your head lowered and the two covens seemed almost hopeful. You lifted your head, wiping your eyes. "That's sad. I hoped for a happy ending." A pang hit some of their chests, that statement had remained the same even before you had forgotten. A quiet hum escaped you. "You know it's strange, you said the humans name was (Y/N). My name is (Y/N) too." "Oh?" Marcus responded lightly with a ghost of a smile. You nodded. "It's a funny coincidence, I suppose." You looked at Marcus with uncertainty. "I feel like I should hug you...?" You began. Marcus cracked a small smile. "That's alright." Marcus stood up and you met him half way.  The room was quiet, even after you both separated. 

You moved into the kitchen to refill your glass of water when you jumped. Alec was so quiet you had no clue he was even in there. "You scared me!" You laughed, a hand going to your chest. "Sorry." Alec felt a pang in his chest, remembering how tried to apologise to him and he completely rejected you. This time you were apologizing for nothing. In your eyes, you had apologised to a complete stranger and that broke Alec's heart. He wished he could turn back time, assure you that you were forgiven, that you'd always be his friend. He missed that chance, you got so good at your own gift you figured out a way to use it on yourself. "Alec, yeah?" You asked. Alec nodded. "I'm getting better at names." You smirked, pleased with yourself. "The human in Marcus' story was your friend right?" You asked nonchalantly as you filled your glass. "Yes." Alec responded. "Can I ask you something?" You turned, now with a full glass with a small smile on your face. Alec knew that smile well that you had sent him. It was the polite smile you wore to anyone you didn't know. In the hopes that it would cover up how nervous you actually are about meeting new people. "Yes." Alec said again, not entirely ready for the question but whatever it was, it meant you'd stay in the conversation. For all he knew, that last conversation he'd have with you. "Were they nice? Your friend?" You might as well have stabbed him in the chest in that moment. Alec did his best to hide it. "They were wonderful. The best friend I could have ever had." Alec responded. You slowly nodded, contemplating his answer. "That's nice. Anyway, I won't bother you anymore." You smiled, raising your glass. "See you around." You turned and walked out the room without even a second glance. Leaving Alec standing in the kitchen, alone once again. Jane moved passed (Y/N), casting them a quick look before entering the kitchen towards her brother. She said nothing as Alec looked at her. For what could she honestly say? "They forgot me." Alec said quietly.

[honeysweetbabyfrisk]

my byf page is out of date and i cant edit it on mobile so heres a pinned post!

you can call me fen, im in my mid 20s, and i'm part of a d.i.d system (prof. dx'd). i wont really talk about that on this blog but it does mean that sometimes its running entirely on queue here because i'm just not around

inbox rules:

- all anon hate and most discoursey asks will be deleted! i want this to stay a positive space. if you have genuine questions about my stance on something and you ask respectfully thats alright, but if youre looking to debate please dm me or ask off anon so i can answer you privately or just leave me out of it

- its okay if you want to vent anonymously in my inbox but please dont send anything triggering without warning

- similarly, its fine to ask for advice but please dont send me anything triggering without warning, and respect that i'm a person with my own stuff going on so i may not answer right away or even have the answer youre looking for

- any asks about callouts for any user will be deleted. i dont want to participate in that culture, and half the ones ive seen are just harrassment campaigns that do no one any good

- if i reblog from a terf or someone similar, please tell me! i dont have shinigami eyes and didnt mean to, just tell me which post it is and i'll take it down

- if i reblog from you and you didnt want me to just lmk and i'll take it down

things you should know before following:

- i identify as queer and will not tag any posts as "q slur," and if i see you reblogging from me using that tag i will block you

- im a critical inclusionist, meaning if someone's identity isnt hurting anyone (not the same thing as making people uncomfortable) and has historical and/or cultural precedent to exist in context, im quite content to take them at their word in good faith and welcome them into the communities that they by all rights already belong to. an example of this would be: i have nothing against and believe mspec gays and lesbians, ace and aro people, other SAM users, and people with mogai identities and microlables when they tell me who they are, but i do not believe transabled people and believe they and their movements are harmful.

- on that, i believe quite firmly that all endogenics are either traumagenic and in denial or misinterpreting symptoms of other illnesses or experiences and do not support the endogenic community, as their impact does real world damage to d.i.d and osdd systems, what they claim is scientifically impossible, and their only history is one of ableism and causing harm. i will never fakeclaim on this blog, i do not endorse fakeclaiming, i will not answer any asks about syscourse or fakeclaiming. if you want to see my reasoning, please search "syscourse" on my blog, but that is the extent you will get from me.

- i am trans and i dont want terfs, transmeds, gender critical, gender- or bio-essentialists, transandrophobic people (including people who think its transmisogynistic to talk about transandrophobia/transmisandry or that its not real), or any otherwise transphobic people in any capacity anywhere near me. this includes people who insist on knowing the assigned sex of others and assigning people oppression by whats in their pants. tma ≠ amab and tme ≠ afab. those were originally words by and for the intersex community, dont take and twist them.

- i am physically, mentally, and cognitively disabled. i will block you if i see you being ableist in any capacity

- my cottagecore blog is purely for comforting aesthetic and nostalgia and does not inherently infer anything about my values as a person. tradfems are not welcome here. racists are not welcome here. people who think the aesthetic is about manifesting destiny or otherwise white land ownership and expansion are not welcome here. this blog explicitly supports indigenous sovreignity and land back movements. this blog is explicitly welcoming to poc, especially black and indigenous peoples.

- i follow and reblog from minors and people without listed ages. please do not reblog to kink or explicit blogs.

- i am firmly against illegal or barely-legal content of all sorts, and against narratives that glorify or romanticize abuse of all kinds, pedophilia, and incest. i also think that that does not mean no media or books featuring any of those topics should exist at all; it's very important to have those things publically condemned so people being hurt in that way know its not normal and theyre not alone. silence and taboo only aids predators

- i am very firmly against "MAPs" or whatever theyre choosing to call themselves now, zoophiles, and "consanguinamory." i do not want anyone who is not explicitly against these things anywhere near me. you are not welcome here. you will not only be blocked, but also reported.

- i am personally uncomfortable with the following blog types and will block you if you follow from one or post frequently about the following topics: pro ana/other ed, thinspo, meanspo, gore, ageplay/ddlg, entirely nsfw, discourse, callout. these catagories are subject to change.

- both my boyfriend and i are unemployed and living under the poverty line, relying on his ssi payments and foodstamps to live. if you are able to help we would appreciate it, although i urge minors to not donate or buy us things as i think adults taking financial aid from children is dubiously ethical. paypal kofi amazon links online shop

[shadow-bouquet]

alright bout to drop a lil truth bomb for all the allos/hypersexuals out there:

being asexual/aromantic does not prevent you from having a libido, enjoying physical closeness or smooches etc

being asexual does not prevent you from being in a relationship, either with or without sex involved

being asexual does not entitle you to be the object of sexual objectification! if anything me not reciprocating means u should probably just hook up with someone on tinder/grindr/etc and stop bullying an asexual

being asexual/aromantic is not “being aloof” and i honestly find the whole “uninterested = attractive” trait to be incredibly toxic. If i seem uninterested, especially after the 50th time you ask; im probably not interested, and thats exactly why i act that way

being asexual/aromantic is not something to be changed by ���meeting the right person” or can be “talked out of”. And especially miss me with that hurt puppy shit like its some attack on u. nah chief i dont wanna date/smush. not specifically u. i dont want that at all, with anyone

being asexual/aromantic is not a hard and fast specific rule! u can be whichever way you want to be and still identify on the asexual spectrum. there are many terms out there which you may find suit you, and of course above all its most important to be and feel like yourself! if (especially an allo) tells you “you cant be ace/aro and also XYZ” theyre probably spouting nonsense like a tea kettle left too long on the boil.

asexual does not mean: you literally feel nothing down there, although it can for some! (as it does for me personally)

for aromantics, i know i brought this up earlier and to be honest if you’re having trouble here please let me, or someone else you know help out: if someone is pressuring you into a relationship, and its not something you can safely reciprocate and they keep going on about how much they love you, and they might be confusing you about platonic love compared to romantic and you’re confused? chances are, a serious, classical sense “relationship” is NOT what you are looking for, and theyre trying to gaslight or manipulate you. personally ive had people try to “win” a relationship with me like im some kind of forbidden prize, which is super gross. please do, again, reach out if you feel pressured into something you dont want to do; be it romantic, sexual, anything.

also, can we mention that being aromantic does not stop you being affectionate? i like to cuddle, i like to smooch, i like to make the people around me comfy and happy. does that mean i want to be in a “relationship”? no. I don’t feel that sort of “desire” or craving or “need”. But i do enjoy being in a QPR (queer platonic relationship, essentially a friendship+ where u are a little more affectionate while still maintaining safe and healthy boundaries and communications) as well as flirting or just being cute!

also any sort of affectionate behaviour is NOT “leading someone on” or “being untrue” or hurtful. you are simply being yourself and to say that what is quite literally your romantic orientation is wrong is a horrible horrible thing. its something that ace and aro people have to deal with incredibly often because affection automatically meaning sex or romantic correlation is such a prevalent idea in our society. but that doesnt make it okay.

being ace and/or aro is not a mental illness nor invalid. simple as that. we exist, and we’re not mentally ill for having these orientations.

make sure u have ace friends to talk about this with! this post might help, but its also important to have friends who u can validate when things arent okay with and also feel safe around. feel free to reach out to your local ace/aro friend or equally just respond or shoot me a message! i always love meeting new friends esp in the asexual and aromantic circles.

that being said, hope u live ur best life and have a wonderful day! pls help where u can even as an ally and be respectful and helpful :)

[bonker-bananas]

some koltc headcanons because why not

i haven’t actually reread the series in a while, so hopefully these aren’t too weird

need to get on that so i can make them all queer

anyways

linh-aroace

shes my favorite. thats it.

okay actually there was a line or two at some point but i cant remember

sophie-honestly just a whole mess.  prob either unlabeled or has 7 million labels. not cis or het, prob not allo either but not sure on that one.

can’t decide if she comes to terms w/ her identity before coming to the lost cities, or of there’s some huge drama and she has an angsty questioning phase because honestly elves are prob at least a little homophobic

honestly im still on the sophie will be single forever train.  she is so bad at handling emotions n stuff, but like, maybe she could end up w/ biana or something? not keefe or fitz tho

keefe-either pan or gay, but ace. ace keefe is my life.

his reaction to the alicorns when sophie was telling the group abt silvenys messages about greyfell, yes

also i can’t remember if this was from a fic or actually canon, but wasn’t there a time in the human world w/ a like naked statue or something?

anyways the other part is absolutely because i am keefex(whats their ship name? is it that? anyways keefe x dex) trash so yeah, mostly because of these fics i read(a short funny one and a long lovely angsty and fluffy one) by RStar6709 on ao3

so dex-demi for sure, honestly probably gay. maybe bi?

i like the idea of him having a squish on sophie

and after that whole awkward kiss they actually kiss each other platonically a lot, maybe on the forehead?

again, keefex trash

idk, just demi vibes. also we love aspec rep here, so all of them are aspec now. or at least most of them.

:00 but what if,,, queerplatonic sodex!!!!

heh not rlly sure about that ship name either(sophie and dex if it wasnt clear) someone please tell me all of them aaaaa

thats most of the ones i actually have big headcanons for but have a couple smaller ones

fitz-token straight?? nah actually hes aro. some sort of genderqueer fitz would be cool too, ngl

biana-not that many opinions on her honestly, but lesbian or bi. ooh, demigirl? or maybe genderfae?

tam-gay. prob closeted tho.  also maybe nonbinary?  uses they/them pronouns.  would absolutely sneak tiny pride flags into linhs locker. honestly would secretly work with keefe to do it and has a huge dramatic fake over the top rivalry w/ keefe outside of it and it cracks them both up how much everyone else believes it. prob out to keefe and eventually dex tho. they know how insecure they are abt it and others finding out tho, so they look out for them and pretend to try to set them up w/ people and avoid using pronouns for them w/ others whenever possible and are generally very supportive.  also have all the puns ready for them when they need it. all the puns.

wow i wrote way more there then i planned to.  he isn’t even like anywhere near the top of my characters list either. i just though of something and went along w/ it i guess.

anyways, um, stina-also gay. trans girl. get her together with one of the girls, maybe biana. ooh, what about stina x biana x sophie? polyamorous too i guess! once she actually becomes friends w/ the group, is the “i’m the only one who can insult them” friend and will fight anyone who hates on any member of the group

[cerulean-city-misty]

Hello fellow ace Internet friend!! I wonder if you could answer this question i have!

I've considered myself ace since I was at least 13, yet I still get crushes on guys. Guys I can't have, mostly. (Markipliercough) But if guys irl ever approached me randomly, I freak out. Its happened a couple times, but not a lot. Maybe I don't consider myself attractive, so thats why I push people away. Its why I think I might also be Demisexual, since once I get emotionally attracted, I start to like a guy. But then I say I like to get girl crushes too. But I just don't get relationships at all, even familial ones. Any advice? 🤔 sorry for the rant! Hope you're having a good day! 😁

@britkunoichi92 Firstly a crush on Mark is totally understandable 😁 Also please let me know if you'd prefer I send my responses to you in a message to you if having your personal feelings posted like this through the ask system makes you AT ALL uncomfortable. I don't want you to feel like I'm sharing your feelings with the world if that's not what your okay with👍. I also definitely get the whole freaking out when guys or girls approach irl too. It always seems so awkward, I find that if someone just approaches me that way, if I don't know them, that it doesn't tend to go well as I prefer to know, or at least have some idea of who they are first. That is usually more difficult to achieve because a lot of non-ace or aro people who are attracted or interested tend to approach and move directly into the flirting stage which can be really uncomfortable. I think your reactions make sense because as an ace who leans towards demisexuality I feel like this too. I think if you want to pursue relationships then you should do what makes you the most comfortable and if that, for you, is friendship first then that's great! While pushing your comfort zone can sometimes be good for growth, making yourself entirely uncomfortable will just continue to give you negative feelings on the whole relationship process. Just remember that how you feel is valid and you should respect how you feel AT LEAST as much as you respect other people's feelings. As for the familial feelings if you mean people's desires to start families I'm afraid I'm not the best help there as I'll never understand someone's desire to have children lol. Maybe it's just an only child thing on my end but I have zero interest in having children and never have. When I was younger people used to tell me I'd change my mind, well I'm 29 now and it ain't changing!! LOL! If in terms of family relationships you meant like your actual current family (parents, siblings, and such) then let me tell you that DNA isn't enough reason to love someone. When it comes to family relationships you honestly have to treat them with the same boundaries you do with other relationships. If they make you uncomfortable, or if they hurt you or put you down then being related doesn't matter. All relationships are a two way street even family ones. It's ok to create your own family with friends and people who mean a lot to you. It's also ok if you have to establish boundaries with people you are related to if they don't make you feel comfortable or loved. Idk how much any of what I said helps but I hope it makes you feel better in some way!😄

[vampireqrow-moved]

um its my birthday so wait until 12:01am pst to block me if u hate this post 🥰🥰

long story short the pansexual label is redudant and actively harmful (its far from the worst problem bisexuals face but it is one issue) and i dont hate anyone who identifies as pan because A) those ppl are bi like me and B) i used to identify as pan myself.

if thats enough for you to block me and make a callout post for me then i cant stop you but pretty please either read this whole thing or just wait a few minutes for my bday to end 🥰🥰

anyways im kicking off this point with some personal experiences bc i love to talk to myself. i got introduced to the pan label at maybe 10ish years old, and started identifying with it pretty much right away. i heard about it before bisexual and it was pitched as attraction to all genders and of course trans people. i was of course a trans ally! i had trans friends! i was trans also but hadnt figured it out yet! the way i had heard of it, there was no bisexual, there was no need for bisexual, and identifying differently was excluding trans people, which I was certainly against. being bisexual was trans exclusionary and why would i exclude trans people? the 'hearts not parts' slogan was thriving around this time and i genuinely said it and meant it.

as i started to become more online, mostly through roleplaying websites and tumblr here, i started hearing of bisexuality. it was supposedly an older term, so older people still used it, but it was common knowledge that pansexual was the better, inclusive label and younger people should adopt the new inclusive language instead of the old and transphobic words like bisexual. /s

and then bi and pan solidarity was all the rage! pansexual wasnt erasing bisexuality, why did anyone ever think that? bi and pan were two separate and complete identities that were valid and had to be respected or youre a mean exclusionist. and an asexual person, hearing people labelled exclusionist always meant they were excluding people from the lgbta community who rightfully belonged, denying peoples lived experiences, and generally telling people theyre wrong about their sexuality because theyre too young. and all of those things were bad and had hurt me, so it would be ridiculous to change labels and support "pan exclusionists" because they were just as bad as ace and aro exclusionists, and they were all the same people. or so it seemed to me at that time.

then, 'hearts not parts' began getting called out for blatant transphobic by insinuating that pansexual was the only identity that loved people for their "hearts" and personalities instead of those gross gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and even straights who only saw people for their "parts". (STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE NOT OPPRESSED. I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THAT PANSEXUALITY WAS SHOWN AS ABOVE ALL OTHERS.) many pan people, including myself, began to denounce the slogan and insist pansexuality wasnt transphobic, there had just been a coincidence that a transphobic slogan was everywhere and a huge part of people's explantions of and associations with pansexuality. hint: it wasnt a coincidence.

from my perspective, this is when i began to see people discussing dropping the word pansexual. that seemed to be a huge step from getting rid off a transphobic slogan, and these people were just meanies who hated microlabels. and i like microlabels! as a genderfluid person, and someone who has friends who use specific aro and acespec labels, ive seen how people can use them to name specific experiences while still acknowleging their presence underneath umbrella terms like aromantic, asexual, nonbinary, lgbta, and for some people, queer.

pansexuals dont do that. they dont label pansexuality as a specific set of experiences under the bisexual umbrella, they see themselves as a separate identity, and even if they started to, the history of biphobia and transphobic undeniably linked to the existence of pansexuality in enough to stop being worth using. but i digress. pansexualitys shiny new definition that many people cling to is that pansexual is attraction to all genders. bisexual is two or more genders.

which. frankly? doesnt make any sense. my guess is that its supposed to be inclusive of nonbinary genders and those a part of cultures who historically have not had a binary gender system in the first place. i cannot speak for the latter group, but as a nonbinary person, its not inclusive. anyone can be attracted to nonbinary people. literally anyone. theres no way to know if everyone you meet is nonbinary or not. whether or not a nonbinary person reciprocates those feelings and is interested in pursuing a relationship is completely up to the individual, regardless of the sexualities of the people involved.

bottom line is that you cant number the amounts of genders someone can be attracted to, thus rendering those definitions pointless. people can be attracted to all kinds of people regardless of gender, even if they are gay, a lesbian, or straight. all people can date thousands of nonbinary genders if all people involved are interested and comfortable with it. numbering the genders you can be attracted to diminishes the post of nonbinary, as it is not a third gender, it simply any experience not fitting within the western concept of the gender binary (if the person so chooses to identify as such. if you cant tell already, the nonbinary experience is varied between every single nonbinary person.) important to note also that no widely accepted bisexual text defines bisexual as attracted to exclusively two genders or even the "two or more genders". i know this is used a lot but please read the bisexual manifesto. its free online i promise.

some people also claim pansexuals experience "genderblind" attraction while bisexuals feel differently attracted to different genders. this is very nitpicky for whats supposed to be two unconnected idenities, but thats only part of the problem. this definition is also not in any widely accepted bisexual texts, and bisexuality has never excluded those who experience genderblind attraction. i am in fact a bi person who experiences genderblind attraction. this does not mean i am not bisexual. it simply means i experience bisexuality differently than other bisexuals, and thats wonderful! no broad communities like bisexuality are expected to all share the same experience. we are all so different and its amazing were able to come together under the bisexual flag.

last definition, or justification i should say, is that yes these definitions are redundant and theyre the same sexuality, but people prefer different labels and thats okay. i agree in principle. people can define themselves as many things like homosexuals or gays or lesbians or queers or even other reclaimed slurs, while still not labelling themselves under the most "common" or "accurate" labels.

but pansexuality isnt the same as bisexuality, which may sound silly but hear me out. it has been continually used as a way to further divide bisexuals, who are already subject to large amounts of lgbta discrimination. "pansexuality was started by trans people who were upset with transphobia within the bisexual community! it cant be transphobic OR biphobic!" except of course that it can and it is. to say that trans people cant be transphobic is absurd. transmedicalism is right there, but thats not what im getting at. all minorities can have internal and sometimes external biases against people who are the same minority as them.

pansexuality was started as a way to be trans inclusive at the expense of labelling bisexuality as transphobic when its not. transphobia is everywhere, and bisexuals are not exempt. instead of working on the transphobia within the community, the creators of pansexuality decided to remove themselves from it to create a better and less tainted word and community, and the fact that pansexuality is intended to replace bisexuality or leave it for the transphobes goes to show a few things. pansexuality and bisexuality are inherently linked because the pan label is in response to the bi label. due to its origins, it is inherently competing with bisexuality and it cant be "reclaimed" from its biphobic roots. pansexuality is not a whole, separate, and valid label. its a biphobic response to issues within the bisexual community.

to top off this post, heres something a full grown adult once said to me. in person. she was my roommate. "i feel like im pan because im attracted to trans people. trans women, trans men, i could definitely date them. but not nonbinary people because thats gross and weird." she saw pan as trans inclusive and defined herself that way as opposed to bi which is shitty!

also a little extra tidbit about my experiences identifying as pan. i saw myself as better than every bi person. all of them. even my trans and bi friends. whenever they brought up being bisexual i would think to myself "why dont you identify as pansexual? its better and shows people you support trans people." because i was made to believe bisexuality didnt and was therefore inferior. thats the mindset that emerged from my time in the pansexual community. i am so sorry to all of my bisexual friends even if they never noticed. i love you all and hope you have a great day. this also goes to any bisexuals or people who identify as bi in anyway, such as biromantic or simply bi. love you all.

ummm yeah heres some extra reading i found helpful and relevant. here and here. also noooo dont disagree with me and unfollow me im so sexy 🥴🥴🥴

[uh-drarry]

Can i ask what the difference between ace and aro is? If not thats totally fine! I was just curious, have a lovely day ♥️

Of course!! I hope you are having a lovely day as well, nonnie. Thanks for the ask! I’m not an expert but I have done a lot of research since realizing I was both ace and aro but I only recently realized this within the last six months so I’m going to give kind of broad terms and they both definitely have more definitive terms depending on the person using them. Ace is short for Asexual. Aro is short for Aromantic. (As I type this Aromantic is showing as a spelling error, and if that doesn’t tell you anything about how underrepresented that community is idk what will). This got a bit long, so I am putting it all under the cut.

Asexual people feel little to no sexual attraction. The opposite of this is Allosexual, meaning you do feel sexual attraction. Asexual is an umbrella term and there’s many micro labels under it as well. This doesn’t mean aces don’t have a libido though. Some people have high or low libidos and are still Ace because it’s about sexual attraction. Asexual people sometimes define themselves as one of the following, sex favorable (does enjoy sex, but possibly won’t initiate it themselves, or they could live without it but are happy to partake as far as I understand), sex positive (this can mean the previous, or, like me, they encourage others to have sex if they want it, and believe safe sex should be taught, etc.), sex neutral (they might enjoy sex, but eh, that’s cool if they never do it again, or ever), and sex repulsed (might get nauseous at the thought of it, never wants to partake, depending who they are they might not want to see it, hear it, watch it, etc even within media, nothing). Back to feeling or not feeling sexual attraction, for example, I have never once looked at, say Chris Hemsworth or Zendaya, and thought “Yeah, they turn me on, I’d have sex with them.” (Honestly the fact that I really had to think to come up with names there, which I think it very telling, I’m laughing at myself). *oversharing probably but trying to help people understand, sorry* Despite the my lack of sexual attraction to anyone, I do feel things, for example, when I read smut or something similar. Ace people might get themselves off, have sex, or never do anything of the sort down there. That kind of thing is about feeling good, you don’t have to think your partner or whatever is sexy in order to do that. If anyone wants to do their own research, AVEN.com (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) is probably a good starting point, or I can rec some blogs here.

Aromantic people feel little to no romantic attraction. Very different from feeling sexual attraction, yes? Basically, take all of what I wrote about being Ace and exchange sex with romance and that’s an aromantic person. I will explain anyway. Just like allosexual, alloromantic people are people who do feel romantic attraction. Romantic attraction is when you want to do romantic coded things with people. Of course romance is a bit harder to define than sex, so it can mean a lot of things to different people. Kissing can be seen as romantic to one person, and another aro person could really enjoy kissing others for example. Personally, I get pretty uncomfortable in romantic situations regarding myself and someone else, which I would probably define as being Romance Repulsed. After learning what this term meant and reading some about it, I really thought of my experiences. I’m pretty sure I’ve never had a crush on anyone, relationships (the brief two that I’ve had) really just felt like friendships. I didn’t initiate anything besides maybe handholding because I didn’t know what to do, or I didn’t even realize that was a thing that most people in that situation would be doing at that point in a relationship. I felt very uncomfortable when a ex tried to take a kiss further than a peck, among other things. Again, being Aromantic doesn’t mean aro people automatically will never have or want romantic relationships. They just don’t feel those feels for people usually. Like AVEN for asexuals, there’s Arocalypse.com for aro people. I have less blogs to rec here, but I can rec some if someone wants it.

There are good examples of different types of attraction, I personally feel platonic attraction which would be the desire to be someone’s friend, as well as aesthetic attraction which is defined below.

People can be one, or both, or neither. I am both, AroAce. People in these communities often use the Split Attraction Model (SAM). Which would be like someone stating that they are Asexual Homoromantic, or Aromantic Heterosexual, or Aromantic Pansexual, among many other combos.

Because I do feel aesthetic attraction, pretty much solely towards women, I define myself as an Oriented AroAce, or Lesbian AroAce. If I ever did end up in a relationship with someone, I can only ever imagine it to be with a woman. Again though, that’s just one microlable among so many that are out there.

This is a huge list of identities and labels, it overwhelms be tbh, but I’m linking it here anyway because it’s very informative.

I assume this ask was in response my reblog here. Yes I get very annoyed when people treat these two orientations as the same thing, despite me identifying as both. As I hope you can now see, they are very different things. A lot of the time, I enjoy reading about romance and sometimes sexual relationships, but sometimes I want to read other peoples thoughts, fics, posts, etc about only one of these and the Aro/Aromanticism tag is flooded with posts about asexuality which really doesn’t help people who are trying to learn about aromanticism or wanting specific content.

One more point before I wrap this up. I read a book because I wanted to see if it’d help me know for sure if I was demisexual (definition can be found in the huge list I linked two paragraphs up, or on google), and it actually made me realize I was aroace and I am forever grateful for it so I will rec it here. It’s called Loveless by @aliceoseman and it has quickly become my favorite book. So if anyone wants to read about a fictional character realizing they’re aroace, this is a fantastic book. I related so much to Georgia, it’s crazy. Also her other works are fantastic.

Remember you are not alone! Experts believe that 1% of the population is ace (and I think it’s the same for aro people) and that might sound like no one but, guys, theres 7.8 billion people on this planet. That means theres 78 million people like us! I ended up finding a lot of ace people to follow on twitter as well by the way.

This might be a hot take to some but the A in LGBTQIA+ does not mean ally! It’s for Asexual, Aromantic, and Agender! And we do belong in the queer community because the queer community is for people who aren’t straight, cis, or amatonormative. Wow, I hope this all makes sense, if any of you are confused or have more thoughts, or I messed something up, UNLESS YOU’RE BEING APHOBIC, add your thoughts, or message me!

Side note: Do please send me recs of people to follow, books, fics, shows, whatever, I am always searching for new content within these orientations!

[violentviolette]

Are you ever just like feel a primal urge to just tell someone you like a lot how important and awesome they are and how shit is getting better and how they deserve the word

Cuz like you are currently experiencing hellbrain and everythingbad and like allowing others to care about you is too much vulnerability but just need to remind brain that good things exist

(And like being at least on the aro spectrum I'm constantly horrified that it comes off as aaa things I don't mean or I just creep them out, it doesn't stop me, just horror)

Like I I'm trying to lean how to healthy cope, is it's this one?

so first off, yes, mood lol if uve ever seen my porn blog ud understand lmfaoooo but i actually think its very healthy and good to tell the people u care about that u care, to compliment them and love them loudly. i think that one of the most important parts of the foundation of all healthy relationships both romantic and platonic is stability. letting people know exactly where they stand with u and reminding them often that u love and care for them is very healthy. everyone enjoys knowing theyre appreciated and cared for.

that all being said, something i think lots of people do that is actually very unhealthy, is not looking at and loving people for who they are, but instead focusing solely on what they give us. people are inherently self focused and when we have big nuerodivergent emotions, this tends to make us very selfish. we feel our emotions the biggest and the strongest and allow ourselves to be overtaken by them at the expense of others and it often stop us from really seeing and appreciating other people for who they are.

im not saying u do this so please dont take this as a criticism but ur ask just very perfectly highlights this. u start off saying that ur feelings are about this other person, ur want to tell them how amazing they are, but then u focus solely on ur own emotions and how they make *u* feel. u talk about what they give and do for u, but none of that is actually about them. again im not saying u do this in ur actual relationships or friendships i understand why ur talking solely about urself here its just a good example

a lot of us in our desperate want for love and attention and validation, end up viewing other people as things that dispense attention or love or praise or validation and not real people. they could be anyone and we’d love them solely because theyre giving us these things. thats not loving a person, thats loving what they do for u. were so focused on what others do for us and how they make us feel, but thats not all they are and if we’re trying to have real genuine relationships with others we cant view and treat them as such. they are a unique individual

people often say i give really meaningful compliments, and this is beccause when i compliment someone, i focus on *them* and not what they do for me. i tell people the aspects of their personality i admire or enjoy, things that are unique and inherent to them and how they think and act. i mention myself as little as possible because if im complimenting someone genuinely, then it isnt about me or how i feel, its about them because a compliment is for them. its to make the other person feel happy and secure and loved. its not about me.

so just keep those things in mind when approaching those kinds of overwhelming feelings of affection because while they absolutely can be a good healthy thing, they can also be used in a toxic and unhealthy way even when thats not what ur trying to do.

[schnees-and-schnugs]

For the character asks, Whitley and Qrow?

Whitley

How I feel about this character

B-Baby,,,,,,, son..

In all seriousness though, he is one of the few characters in rwby that actually makes me feel upset (and it really isnt easy to make me super emotional about fiction). But not in a ‘god fuck this dude’ sort of way but in a ‘oh my god can someone PLEASE love him’ way. But also just his vindictiveness in wanting Weiss to suffer the same pain he did while she was at Beacon. I really do think the whole inheritance thing wasn’t Whitley being greedy (as many fans liked to say), but it was him wanting to see Weiss in his place. To be the one that’s irrelevant and forgotten. And i think it comes from a place of genuine loneliness and anger. and i just- i will adopt him. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character

uhhhhhhh oscar i guess... ace/aro whitley is my personal preference. But don’t get me wrong- give whitley a sunshine bf or gf. Its What He Deserves.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Therapy. 

But I am very very interested in what his relationship with Willow is.

My unpopular opinion about this character

This may not be a very unpopular opinion but people who blame whitley for the abuse jacques inflicts on him... like obviously whitley’s actions are his own- but they are the actions of a child who is scared of his father and thinks that everyone else couldn’t care less about him. People don’t usually say that outright but the implication is there that he’s not a ‘good’ victim like weiss and winter. idk.

Also i don’t think whitley is in the wrong for resenting his sisters at least a little bit... we don’t know much about his relationship with his sisters before winter left for the military and weiss left for beacon, but they did leave him behind. If beacon hadn’t fallen, weiss would have probably been in vale for years. Of course winter and weiss had every reason to put themselves first to get themselves out of an abusive household but that doesn’t mean their actions don’t have consequences for others. The whole situation is incredibly unfair for everyone.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I just want him to to be happy, yo. But I also wish that weiss and whitley had more moments in v7, just bc i feel like his scenes were just a rehash of v4 with a pinch of “haha look this is what he gets for being mean to weiss!!” and its like... okay. I wish he had at least talked to weiss about watts... that would have been interesting given that he was Literally There. But whatever, that’s only what I personally wanted. 

Qrow

How I feel about this character

Honestly I didn’t think much about qrow before v5, but the development of his character thus far has been mostly good imo. I like how they decided to make qrow’s alcoholism an Actual Problem in v6 and onwards leading to his eventual decision to drop it for good. I think he’s a character with an incredibly low self esteem/self worth that is only bolstered by his Bad Luck semblance, but his conversations with clover in v8 were great with this. Because given what we know about qrow’s family (raven to be exact) and his tense relationship with tai, I dont think qrow has a lot of other adults in his life telling him that he shouldn’t think about himself that way.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I don’t really have a ship in mind honestly... fairgame, ironqrow, qrowxsummer are all p good. There isn’t really a ship that I can think of that I’m really into.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I’d really like to see more about his relationship with raven. Obviously they’re siblings, so I’d like to see more of the pain that tore them apart. Was qrow surprised when raven left yang and tai? Is it what he expected? Did they have a stereotypical sibling relationship or was qrow often times put off by raven’s cruelness? I Would Like To See It.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I think he was a little bit too soft in v7? I mean, I understand that he’s going sober and trying to be less jaded but I quite like sassy qrow. Especially the one who called atlas huntsmen ‘sellouts’. I’m surprised that he changed his attitude so much in v7 but ig thats what going sober does to you. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish he had more of an adult presence in v7. For the most part his character arc was with clover and his own self esteem, but I felt like he should have had more to do with whatever team rwbyjnr was doing. But I digress.