#can someone give me money for a plane ticket

[landinhos]

im genuinely scared to open my bank app and see how much money i spent this month

[some-pers0n]

I love it when Will makes an angry-ish post because he breaks out into this full rant mode. Like he'll be trying to talk about something like...I dunno, someone setting up a fake Will Wood merch website, and he'll go "Due to the hellish technological capitalistic nightmare realm we live in there have been reports of doppelgangers wearing my flesh like a truly diseased and pained homunculus rising from the earth in order to deceive and trick those unfortunate enough to make the terrible mistake of wanting to give me more money by buying a shirt that says 'I willingly listen to this so-called musician'. I'm terribly sorry for anyone who may have accidentally purchased anything from these scam sites. I'm trying to reach out to Google or whatever is in charge here but Skynet or whatever evil definitely-not-going-to-take-over-the-world autonomous mechanism that they've embedded into their soulless customer service system refuses to do anything even remotely close to helpful so instead I'm forced to handle this conglomerate of fabricated versions of myself that between their hideous lies coming forth from forked tongues are desperate pleas to be freed from this materialistic plane of non-existence they find themselves in. Anyways reminder that ticket sales for my newest show are 20% off so catch it if you want to support the real flesh and blood me that you can even shake the cold decaying definitely still alive hands of"

[tareqabuassi-gaza]

✅️ Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #286 ) ✅️

🩸🚨 Urgent 🚨🩸

Save my family from the hell of the Gaza war 🔥

$243 Raised of $92K 🍉

Updated, Jan 1, 2025

My wife, Samar, speaks with a broken heart. 💔👇🏻

Imagine, for just a moment, that I am your sister, your daughter, or your closest friend. What would you do if your family faced relentless death, displacement, and despair?

My name is Samar. I'm a wife and the mother of three beautiful children. We lived in Gaza, clinging to a fragile semblance of normalcy despite the constant dangers. But even that shred of normalcy was shattered when a bomb destroyed our home—our sanctuary. Eighteen years of memories turned to dust in seconds.

Now, we live in a fragile tent, exposed to the merciless elements, enduring loss after loss. Friends, family members, and even my husband’s cousins have been taken from us. Each loss tears at our hearts, and the constant fear of who we might lose next is unbearable.

We’ve been displaced nine times, narrowly escaping death at every turn. All we dream of now is a safe place—a place where my children can sleep without fear, where they can simply be children.

But the reality is grim. My children are suffering terribly in the tent. Their delicate skin burns under the relentless sun, and illnesses have taken hold—respiratory infections, jaundice, gastrointestinal diseases—all due to a lack of clean water and proper food. Their innocent laughter has been replaced by fear and silence. I can’t bear to see them like this, and the thought of them growing up in a world of nothing but war and suffering terrifies me.

Escaping Gaza is our only hope. But leaving is nearly impossible without a large sum of money. Crossing the border into Egypt costs between $5,000 and $7,000 per person—an unattainable amount for a family of seven.

How You Can Help 🥹

To save my family—my husband (Tareq), my daughters (Sham, Masa, and Wateen), my father-in-law (Ziad), and my brother-in-law (Mohammed)

We need your support to cover the following 🍉

1. Passports: $120 per person (Total: $840).

2. Border Crossing to Egypt: $5,000–$7,000 per person (Total: $35,000–$49,000).

3. Visas and Plane Tickets: $800 per person (Total: $5,600).

4. Transaction Fees: ($3,000).

5. Withdrawal Fees in Gaza: Due to high commission rates (25%), we need an additional ($18,360).

Any remaining funds will provide temporary housing and food for my family as we start a new chapter of safety and hope.

A Call to Action 💞

This is not just a story of tragedy—it’s a plea for help. My family is holding onto hope, and you can be the answer to our prayers.

Every dollar donated brings us one step closer to safety. If you’re unable to donate, sharing our story could reach someone who can.

Please, act as if this were your own family. Together, we can give my children a chance to live a life free from fear, a life of dignity and peace.

🙏🏻🍉🇵🇸

@clementineskesh @gracelandmp3 @ebenrosetaylor @stoptheantisemitism @marbirds @ghostofanonpast @lillybean730 @theonsetpoet @danitheforeverdm @wolf-tail @sirpuddingcup @marthamaxing @huffy-the-bicycle-slayer @ayoungparent @goblinswamp @pickledangel @anarcho-gamerist @merl-out @halorvic @kibumkim @stuckinapril @mavigator @lacecap @aristotels @jonpertwee @flipton @bell-bones @ragingbullmode @envytherose @rodent178 @tangledinourstrings @frogbrainedfool @frogbrainedfool @opencommunion @vague-humanoid @time-being @gwynndolin @q8q @tortiefrancis @wellwaterhysteria @mahoushojoe @ankle-beez @dykesbat @mangocheesecakes @kyra45-helping-others @asynca @reaperlight @redsavesquare

[xveenusx]

Wanted

Paring(s): JJ maybank x fem!reader

Summary: in a world where someone had everything, she still got treated like she was nothing. all she wanted was to be wanted.

Authors note: I wanted this piece piece to be as real as possible. It's not simple, its messy. We've all gone back to that one person we know we shouldn't just because being alone seemed worse. Also she gets absolutely railed so that helps. So please be kind to her lmfao.

Rating: smut, 18+, mdni, ANGST

Song rec: making the bed by olivia rodrigo

Part 1: Guilty

Bored. 

I was so incredibly bored. I leaned against the built in bar as I watched Topper and Kelce take body shots off some tourists they invited. The loud bass of the music did little to tune out the annoying voice of Amy Culpo, who stood next to me, and rattled on about my mother’s latest line. 

“I mean, it’s absolutely stunning.” I know it is. I was there when she designed it. “Any chance you have tickets to her next show?”

Ah, there it was. The brutal truth he reminded me of all those months ago. Every interaction was a strategic move to climbing the next prong on the social ladder. Everyone always wanted something. 

I used to fight that notion. I thought I was better than them because I actually cared about other people. My wealth did not define me nor how I treated other people, but despite every effort I made both before and after him, I realized none of it mattered. 

I couldn’t escape my wealth. It was permanently engraved into my body and no matter how hard I tried to scrub, it wouldn’t go away. I’ve now fully embraced that ugly truth and decided that I might as well use it to my advantage. I almost always had something that others wanted and I just had to figure out what they were willing to give. I didn’t need any more money, but there were things that were far more valuable. Favors, tickets to the hottest openings, plane rides. Since everyone already saw me as a spoiled little rich girl, I might as well play the part. 

‘Depends. Are those last season MIU MIU?” I asked, tossing a look at the shoes on her feet. 

“There from the season before-“ I pulled a face at her words. Before last season? I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything last season let alone the season before. 

“Oh honey, if those are two seasons old, then I highly doubt you have anything I want.” The shocked look on her face dulled the aching pain that seemed to permanently reside in my chest. 

“I can charter a plane-“

I raised my hand to silence her. “You don’t have your own?” 

What was she even doing here? 

This was a new little project of mine. I tossed away all those societal niceties that did little for me in the end. I still couldn’t get anyone to stay. This was much more fun. You’d be surprised by how much stuff you could get away with if you cut out all the bullshit.

Amy’s cheeks flushed red and maybe once I’d have felt bad or be disgusted by how I was treating her but I was numb. I realized nothing really mattered. Whether I was nice or rude, people all wanted the same things from me. At least this way, I could armor myself. 

“There’s my pretty girl.” Warm hands curled around my waist, tugging me against a hard body. 

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't his anything, Rafe knew that but he’s always had a flare for the dramatics. Tom Ford’s Noir de Noir filled my nose as I swatted at his hands, hands that I’ve grown quite familiar with. 

“You left me.” I shot him a bratty look, one he met head on with a smile. Amy still stood there awkwardly, clearing her throat in an obvious attempt to gain my attention. 

I turned around in Rafe’s arms, debating my next move. Almost immediately his chin came to rest on the top of my head while his arms curled around my front.

My eyes shot one last distasteful look at her outfit, before tossing out my arm in the opposite direction. “Shoo.”

She huffed before stomping away but not before shooting me one final glare. A look that would have made me cry before, but now it simply dinged off the impenetrable armor I’ve suited myself with. 

“I was hoping it’d build character, but clearly that didn’t work.” I could hear the smile in his words as he pressed a kiss on the top of my head. 

“The entire conversation was dull. She didn’t even have a jet, plus her shoes were two seasons ago.” I shuddered in disgust. Could never be me.

Rafe clutched his chest in mock disgust,”Not two seasons.” 

I let out a huff, my chest going warm at the teasing glint in his eye.

There was no spark. There were no butterflies. Just familiarity and warmth. It was safe. We both knew what this was and expected nothing more. For now, we were just having fun. Despite the fact that I spent most nights at his place and rarely found myself without him.

I’ve found somewhat of a friend in Rafe. Someone to share the burden of being from a family like ours. He understood me. He enjoyed shiny things just as I did. 

We spent a lot of our time going to the mainland because the idea of running into him still sent me to my knees. This was a small island. One that he was spending all his time running around with her instead of me. Rafe never said a word about it, never mentioned his sister or her pogue friends. And for that, maybe I do love him a little.

“You make fun of me now, but you’d still be wearing polo shirts and plaid shorts if it weren’t for me.” My hands smooth down the front of his linen light blue shirt, the first several buttons open paired with some black Gucci slacks and a black belt from Dolce & Gabbana. He no longer looked like a frat douche but a member of upper class society. 

The same can’t be said about his friends.

“C’mon. Top and Kelce want us over there.” Rafe grasped my hand and tugged me in the direction of drunken yells. I pursed my lips but trudged behind him. The idea of being thrown up on was less than appealing, but being by myself was even less appealing.

“Hey guys.” Rafe nodded at them, taking a seat on the adjacent couch, a table with all sorts of drugs littered on it in between them. 

The pair of them were obliterated, both their pupils blown wide and their speech slurred. That didn’t stop them from tossing me a sloppy grin and shouting a greeting. 

The spot next to Rafe was vacant but on the other end was a couple gnawing each other's faces off that had me scrunching my nose up in disgust. He surely didn’t expect me to sit next to that?

He didn’t even bat an eye, instead Rafe patted his lap, tugging at my hand to sit down. “Wanna drink, baby?” 

I nodded, deciding to once again indulge. It was better than feeling that stabbing pain that burned in my chest. It was a horrible solution but one that Rafe always supported, in fact he often took part in self-destructing with me. We were done with trying to be perfect for parents who couldn’t give less of a fuck. 

A red solo cup with a familiar yellow concoction was waved in front of me. The pungent scent of tequila burned my nose and I shot him a secret smile. Rafe’s blue eyes narrowed in on me, glued on my smile before he shook his head in amusement. 

“That’s the kinda night we’re going for?” He asked, his hand slowly gripping my thigh. 

“Unless you don’t want to?” I sighed dramatically, pushing his dark blonde strands back from his face, something I knew he loved. 

“If I ever say no to that question, feel free to shoot me.” 

A giggle escaped my lips as I tapped my cup against his before bringing it to my lips, tilting my head back and zeroing it out. 

The tequila left a burning trail down my stomach that I welcomed. It meant I was one step closer to not feeling anything at all. 

“Another?” Rafe’s eyes pointed at my now empty cup and I nodded. 

Being responsible was so overrated. 

Lifting his hand up, almost immediately two younger boys, about 16, appear. Rafe pointed at me, muttering something before the pair nodded and took off.

I raised my eyebrow at him, confused. 

He just shrugged, leaning forward to touch the golden pendant that hung from my neck. “I promised them tickets to the Charleston basketball game if they did whatever I said.”

“Why?” 

“I was bored,” He hummed in response,”This is new, it’s pretty..” 

I smiled back at him, the very picture of nonchalance, before replying,”Thank you. You bought it for me.” 

His ocean eyes rested on me, the infatuation clear as day that had my stomach clenching. “Course I did. I have great taste.” 

Rafe gave me his card about two months ago, not that I needed it, but he enjoyed taking care of me and I didnt mind. Plus, whenever he made me mad, I made sure to run the bill up, hoping for some type of reaction but it only left him amused. 

Nerves gnawed at my stomach at the intense eye contact. Maybe the lines have blurred slightly. Clearing my throat to try and break the tension, I tossed my hair over my shoulder. “Want to see what else you bought me?”

“Enlighten me.” 

I flashed him my freshly manicured nails, “What do you think?” 

Rafe caught my hand, a half smile painted on his face, and kissed it. “Is that passion pink?” 

“It’s actually bubblegum blush.” 

“Beautiful, baby. I love it.” His words burned into my chest. 

It was hard to describe. His approval had butterflies thrumming in my stomach. Maybe it was because we were stuck in similar situations, but his approval suddenly meant something to me. Being with him meant I wasn’t alone. 

“You know we’re right here, right?” Topper's voice cut through the tension and I let out a laugh, relieved to look away. 

“Fuck off.” Rafe laughed, regaining his composure as well. 

Topper leaned forward holding out a black AMEX for me to take. My eyes paused on the card before shooting him a flat look. 

“Are you kidding?” 

Topper gave me a blank look, not a thought behind those eyes. 

I rolled my eyes and stuck my nose up in mock outrage. “Rafe does it for me.” 

The annoyed look on Topper’s face sent a thrill through my body. He was the easiest to rile up and Rafe knew it as he hid his chuckle with a quick cough. 

The hand on my bare thigh slowly drew circles, the action almost unconscious, which had my brain blanking. It was a relief to not think. To not remember. To not feel. 

“Are your hands broken?” 

“No. I’m too pretty.” I shrugged, batting my lashes at him.

Topper openly scowled at me, his eyes dropping to where Rafe’s hands held me tightly. “What happened to the nice little girl who cried about everything?”

“Lay off.” Rafe snipped, leaning forward and snatching the AMEX out of his hand. His movements were quick and precise, with ease that only came with experience. 

He separated the coke into three lines, one for me and two for him, just like always. 

Bending over, I snorted the line quickly. Turning to hand Rafe the hundred dollar bill, his fingers dust off any remaining powder off my nose, before he bent over and did the same.

I leaned back into Rafe, the mixture of the tequila and the sting of the coke had me feeling sublime. It was a perfect balance. The alcohol got me warm and buzzed while the coke kept me awake and alert, an upper and a downer, a perfect description for every emotion in my body. 

“I grew up.” 

Topper hummed. “You certainly did.”

For the next hour, my mind never drifted to him. I enjoyed having thoughts that were my own, that didn’t revolve around him. Instead, my thoughts focused on the man below me. Rafe was always touching me. Even more so than usual, his hand never left my body once. If I let go of his hand to reach for my drink, he’s just moved it to my thigh. It was almost possessive which was odd, we didn’t do possessive. 

Every couple moments, he’d pause in the middle of a conversation to press small kisses anywhere his lips could reach. It seemed performative, but I just couldn’t prove it.

“You’re thinking too hard.” His hot breath hot against the shell of my ear. 

I said nothing for a moment before licking my lips and muttering,”Are you okay? You seem more clingy than usual?” 

He just nodded, pulling me to his hard chest, his eyes darting to the side. “I just like having you with me.”

The sentiment was sweet and my heart tugged at his words. But, I couldn’t let go of the feeling that I was missing something. “I like having you with me too.” I allowed myself to give him a sliver of vulnerability, something I’ve avoided like plague, because it was true. He made living just a bit easier.

My head began to spin as I felt the lines of our odd friendship begin to blur. I knew neither of us would admit the sudden shift but it was there. I could tell with each lingering gaze and those secret touches. Maybe there was something here. I just had to give in.

“I’m glad you came to your senses,” He responded, but once again his eyes are not on mine but darting around me. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” My voice comes out hushed, hoping it would get him to lower his voice. 

My smile from his previous confession dimmed. Nerves slowly began to surface as I tried to read between the lines.

“You do belong with me, at least that's what you scream every night, isn’t that right baby?” He was boasting, loud enough to have his boys give him lame-ass high fives. 

The small burst of happiness curdled like old milk in my stomach. I wasn’t a prude, not by a long shot, but I was a private person. Rafe knew this and he was still flaunting our private moments in a way that made me feel dirty. 

“Stop talking about me like that.” I said, “What’s gotten into you?” 

I felt Rafe go rigid under me. Frowning, I tilted my head back to make sure he was alright but his eyes were glued ahead. 

“Rafe, I’m here for my stuff. Where did you say you put it again?” 

My head turned and my stomach did a backflip. Sarah stood at the entrance of the room, looking immensely uncomfortable. 

John B stood behind her, his big brown puppy-like eyes widened at the sight of me on Rafe’s lap. Or maybe it was because of  the coke laid out in front of me? 

But wherever he was, JJ wasn’t far behind. John B whispered something in Sarah’s ear, her eyes jumped to me for a split second before returning to his. She nodded and John B made a beeline for the other room. 

I let out a choked laugh. I’m sure he was going to report back to his little lap dog. What were they even doing here in the first place? It’s not like Rafe knew-

My brain clicked into place. The constant need to touch me and the over the top PDA was because he was here. Rafe knew he was here and wanted to rub it in his face. 

Rafe’s words were never for me. They were for him.

None of this was real. Not the endearing names, not the proclamations of affection. An ice bucket of realization poured over me and I felt like a fool. A fool for thinking that somebody else could want me, could maybe even love me.

Fuck this. Fuck both of them. 

“You knew.” I accused, shoving his hands off of my body. 

Rafe said nothing, but the flicker in his eyes gave him away. I wasn’t safe with him either. Embarrassment oozed into me, the feeling painstakingly familiar. We agreed to never make each other feel this way since our parents did it enough, but he did it to me. 

Don’t think. Don’t feel. 

Snatching the cup out of his hand, I forced it down, gulp by gulp, wincing at the burn. Straight tequila. “Babe-“

“Shut up.” I hissed, moving off his lap and shoving Topper to move over. Everyone always wanted something from me. 

They never just wanted me.

Maybe I was defective. I had to be. 

JJ didn’t love me when I was me. When I cared about other people and sacrificed pieces of my happiness for them.

Rafe didn’t love me now. When I was a spoiled brat who treated everyone like a transaction. 

It didn’t matter if I was nice or a total raging bitch. Either way, I couldn't get anyone to love me.

I was just the stepping stone they used before they found the person they really wanted to be with. I was just there to make them feel good about themselves. For them to take and take just to toss me aside when they were done. Leaving me a shell of a person with no one, not even myself.

I guess, I was impossible to love.

“Line it up, Topper.”

“Can I at least get a please?”

“Be lucky that I’m even talking to you.”

Topper scoffed but did what I asked, lining up two lines of chalky white powder. “There you go, princess:” 

A rolled hundred dollar bill was held out in front of me. Plucking it out of his fingers. I bent over the table. Don’t think. Don’t feel. 

Dragging the cylinder bill down the crystal snow powder I’ve grown to love, I inhaled deeply. The chemicals flowing through the nose. I could practically feel the coke dissolving into my bloodstream, my body vibrating in response. 

Dropping the bill on the table, I tilt my head back, begging my brain to shut off. I closed my eyes and chose to focus on the beat of the music that had my heart thrumming in my chest.

Then it happened.

All the air in the room was sucked up. The hair behind my neck stood up and my body suddenly awakened in a way it hadn’t in months. 

My body recognized him before my brain did. The moment I opened my eyes, his eyes clashed with mine.

JJ.

It was like seeing him for the first time, a memory I thought I would never get the chance to feel again. 

Heavy set blonde brows framed his bright blue eyes beautifully, the strong cut jaw that was currently clenched, and his lips soft and pouty, tightly pressed in a flat line. This face, his beautiful face, wouldn’t be complete without some mark. A bruise, a soft purple and yellow hue, decorated his cheek bone. His bottom lip busted. 

He was so beautiful. 

My body reacted before my brain could follow. I stood up quickly, too quickly that the blood rushed to my head and the room seemed to spin. 

God, he was beautiful. And I fucking hated him for it. He was supposed to be like me, a complete and total mess, but instead, he looked the same, even better actually. 

That thought alone had me ready to jump off the balcony.

My movements were clumsy and I drunkenly stumbled while standing still, his eyes clocking that in seconds. 

Despite the loud music, I noticed the silence coming from the couch. 

My eyes jumped to Rafe. All the laughter around us died off and everyone was exchanging nervous looks. It didn’t take a genius to read the room and the situation I’ve somehow managed to put myself in. 

Blue eyes flickered between the two of us. It cracked my chest open wide and opened the floodgates I’ve been trying so hard to keep closed. 

The crushing inescapable weight of shame hit me first. I was plastered, obviously so, and high as a kite. The evidence of what I’d been doing displayed out in front of me like a flashing sign. And I was fucking the one guy he hated. 

It was unreasonable, I know. He left me and even pushed me in the direction of the one guy he hated and yet, I was the one feeling bad. He hasn’t even opened his mouth yet and it’s been turned onto me. But love never makes sense. It made the most sane people lose every coherent thought, I was the prime example.

“You should probably go, bro.” Rafe said, his tone was anything but. 

He moved from his spot on the couch and stopped beside me. Rafe shoved a hand in one pocket while the other reached for mine, but I folded my arms across my chest. Mostly because I was mad at him, but a part of me didn’t want JJ seeing that. 

JJ didn’t spare him a second glance.

He had on a dark blue short sleeve button down shirt with black cargos and chunky black boots on his feet. A backwards red hat settled nicely on the blonde mass of wavy hair and his shark necklace hanging against the exposed part of his chest. 

It was so JJ. All of it, right down to the colorful bracelets that littered his wrists. 

A hand grasped my chin and tilted up. I held my breath. His fingers slid along my jaw and he rubbed his thumb over the skin. His eyes felt like lasers, honing in on every detail of my face. 

I swallowed audibly. JJ leaned in closer, bringing his height down to mine. His thumb brushed a soft stroke below my nose while his lips brushed against my ear. 

“You had a little something on your nose.” 

JJ let go of my face, his expression hard. Then he brushed past me, leaving a gaping wound in his wake. 

Tears burned behind my closed eyes. He didn’t need to say it because I already knew what he was thinking. Sure, JJ smoked some weed but he never touched any of the hard stuff, not wanting to pick up the same habits as his dad. Hard drugs were a hard limit for him and he found me snorting several lines of it. 

I went and became the very thing he hated, just like he wanted. It didn’t feel as satisfying as I thought it would. Instead, I felt like I lost another piece of myself. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said to Rafe, finally gathering the courage to open my eyes. 

He shuffled beside me. “Him being here wasn’t going to change anything.”

We both knew that was a lie.

“It’s him, Rafe. It changes everything for me.” 

Rafe scoffed and shook his head. “You’re really going to try and go back to that?”

“I’m not saying that-” I spluttered out, outraged as his voice continued to carry across the room. 

“He didn’t want you.” 

People around us began to whisper, their heads huddled together with their phones out. Wet hot tears threatened to fall as the control I took months to master began to unravel. 

“Yeah, well you don’t either.” 

“What the hell are you talking about? Before he got here, everything was perfect.”

“I’m not stupid. You think I didn’t notice what you were doing? That wasn’t for us, that was for him.”

“I didn't mean for you to think I was using you-“

I gripped his chin, and pulled his face down to my height, my eyes brimming with angry tears. “You don’t use me. I use you.” I shoved his face back, needing to collect my composure. 

Everyone’s eyes were on us and I was desperate to save face. It was the only thing I had left. 

“Get the fucking picture?”

“Crystal clear.” He responded through gritted teeth, his eyes hard. 

“If you want a whore, go buy one.” 

Rafe cleared his throat, his face iced over. “I thought that’s what I was already doing.”

I stood there for a moment, not understanding what I did to deserve to be treated like this by not one man but two. I felt like an idiot. Like the stupidest fucking person on this god forsaken planet. 

Two hours ago, I thought that maybe Rafe had feelings for me and played with the idea of exploring that with him. And now, I was a gold digging whore. 

I felt another piece of my heart break off, mourning the loss of the only friendship I really had.

Pressing my hair down with my hands, I look down to fix my dress, swallowing as I went, hoping to pull myself together and buy some time. 

“I’m glad to hear how little you think of me.” I sent him a sad smile,” I guess I’m keeping up with everyone’s expectations.” 

I stepped around him, heading to the direction of the bar, the adrenaline from all the excitement having effectively killed my buzz. 

Staring at the bottles of liquor on the counter had me frowning, all being some bottom shelf brand I’ve never heard of. I moved around the bar to the cabinets behind it, looking for the good tequila. It was the least Rafe could do seeing as though he just blew up whatever the fuck we were doing. 

Spotting the only tequila I drank, I grabbed the entire handle. Twisting the top off, I tossed it aside carelessly before taking a healthy swig. Then another. And another. 

I stumbled into another room, shoving people out of my way. I ignored the angry shouts because I was way past the point of caring. I just-I just wanted to see him.

As if someone heard my thoughts, I spotted JJ leaning against a wall with a lit joint dangled between his fingers and a beer in the other. 

He had so much charisma, it demanded the attention of the room. People gravitated towards him all the time but he refused to see himself that way. 

Even now, he stood surrounded by several people, including a girl who was too close for my liking, and they were hanging onto every word. All of their bodies angled towards him, nodding along. The people around them curiously moving in to hear more of the story that had so many of them laughing. 

It was almost ironic. It was the point I was trying to prove all those months ago. Kooks vs. Pouges was bullshit. Because, right now JJ is telling a story to a bunch of Kooks who were eating it right up. Neither parties cared about their status, they just wanted to socialize and have fun. 

Why couldn’t he see that? 

The organ in my chest began to flutter, the butterflies erupting in my stomach at his nearness. Panic began to set in. I thought I’d pushed it all down. 

All it took was seeing him. Just once. For the last couple months of progress to be thrown out the window. I made sure to not feel anything anymore, because the alternative destroyed me. And yet, there he stood, looking like every dream I’ve ever had, and completely disarming my very being with one look. 

I never wanted to feel that way again. My heart was open and my soul was bared, but I was naive. I thought love was supposed to be empowering. But really, it was poison. It slowly entered your bloodstream, coating every vein before slowly taking over every organ. It leaked into your brain and made you lose all common sense. The poison tricked you into thinking that certain treatment was okay because at least they were here. At least, they still wanted to be with you because they love you, right? 

But eventually, like all things lacking an antidote, it began to cut off your oxygen. It curled around your lungs and squeezed until you gasped for breath with tears staining your face. It didn’t matter how much you screamed and shouted, nothing came out. The last organ it takes over is your heart. That silly little organ who was so trusting begins to pump faster, desperately trying to get that oxygen to your brain, because maybe then you’ll finally be able to think clearly. But in the end, it slows down. Each pump is slower than the last until finally it comes to a stop. The heart broke. 

It’s the closest thing to dying I’ve ever experienced.

It was like drowning on dry land.

His words did not leave me dented, but destroyed. 

I lost my sense of myself. I lost my identity. I put on a performance every time I left my house, wanting to see just how far I could get away with treating people the same way they treat me. 

At first it didn’t feel good, but now I didn’t feel anything at all. Or so I thought until I saw him again. And I just want to see that he was doing okay and maybe, if I can admit it, to see if he still loved me, however little that may be.

I watched from my spot on the other side of the room as the crowd began to disperse, leaving JJ with some blonde. I vaguely recognized her from a shoot for one of my mom’s brands. I believe her parents worked in the fashion industry as well. Which would have been fine, had she not said something that had him give her one of those rare smiles, the ones he used to give me in private. 

Nausea roiled in my stomach, maybe it was all the tequila or maybe it was seeing him smile at someone else when all I wanted was for him to smile at me. 

She leaned into him, a coy smile played her lips, running her fingers down the shirt I bought him, which basically made it mine. And I hated when people touched my things.

The mix of tequila and coke emboldened me. I found my feet moving in their direction before I could stop myself. 

“I wouldn't waste your time.” I could not get myself to stop talking.

“Why’s that?” The blonde’s eyes narrowed, her cheaply manicured hand resting on JJ’s bicep.

“JJ doesn’t go for kooks or so I’ve been told.” 

“Maybe he just didn’t go for you.” Oh, how cute. 

“Oh honey,” I sighed dramatically and took one step towards her, tilting my head to the side, dragging my eyes up her body, in obvious distaste. “Are you new here?”

“Well, yeah but-“ She tried to explain. 

Clearly, she needed a run through on how the social ladder worked here. I was at the top and everyone else was at the bottom. 

“Your mom works for some brand from Paris right?” I watched as her eyebrows pulled together in confusion. 

“She does. We moved here because she’s doing a collab with-“

“With my mom.” 

“So I suggest you take your hand off of him,” I smiled on cue, my tone dipped in sugar before batting my eyelashes at her innocently,” Unless you want her blacklisted?” 

I could see her debating what to do. She didn’t know if I was bluffing but she'd learn rather quickly just how far I was willing to go. 

“Hmm, cute shoes.” I hummed, “Chanel?” 

She nodded, apprehension on her face. 

“Won’t be able to buy those anymore if your mom doesn’t have a job.” 

Her hand fell and satisfaction settled into my like molten lava. “You can go now.” 

The blonde pursed her lips and stalked off, leaving me alone with JJ. “Trying a new type”

“And what type would that be?”

“Desperate.”

JJ tipped his mouth, saluting me before taking a sip of his drink. His eyes already glazed over from the joint in his hand. 

“A thank you would be nice?” I muttered, taking another pull from my tequila. I couldn’t talk to him sober or I’d lose my nerve.

“A thank you?” He appeared almost amused, adjusting his red hat. 

“Yeah, I just saved you.”

“I didn't realize I needed saving.” 

“Self-preservation was never really your strong suit was it?” 

JJ laughed, his eyes straying to the bottle cradled in my arms. “I could say the same thing, Princess.” 

Fuck him for calling me that. So what, I’ve learned to indulge just a little. It made everything in my life a little more manageable. 

“It’s called having fun, JJ.” Pouting as he snatched the bottle from arms just as I went to take another shot. “Since when did you become the responsible one?”

JJ leveled me with an unamused stare. 

I huffed, blowing a stray strand of hair out of my face. “Tough crowd.”

JJ snorted, pushing the leaves of a nearby plant back before dumping the remaining tequila. My mouth dropped open as he wasted every last drop of my liquid courage. 

How the hell was I going to talk to him now? 

I pursed my lips, “That was mean.”

“I’m doing what your boyfriend should have done an hour ago.” His gaze fixed on my face, the intense stare causing my cheeks to turn red. God, would he stop staring at me?

“He doesn’t tell me what to do.”

“Then he shouldn’t have left you alone.” His tone laced with annoyance, “You have all these fuckers staring at you and you’re wasted.”

I tilted my head back to stare up at him, the annoyance I knew came from a place of panic. That was just how JJ was wired. 

“So you’re in love with me?” Someone come arrest me, because I cannot keep my mouth closed.

JJ shook his head clearly fighting back a smile. “You’re so crazy.” 

“What else could that mean?” I asked truthfully and I knew I had a love struck smile on my face. One that I’ve only given to one man in my life and he stood in front of me.

I just wanted to be near him. I wanted to hear his laugh and see him smile.

His face softened at my words. “Are you okay? Does he take care of you?”

“Of course, I’m okay. Why do you ask?”

“Only one of us is fucking loaded.” 

I rolled my eyes and plucked the joint from his fingers. “Correct me if I’m wrong, and we both know I rarely am, are you not high too?” 

“Not from cocaine.”

“Already back to judging so soon?” I mused, taking a hit off the joint, the familiar stinging sensation wrapped around my lungs and squeezed. “Careful, I might think you care.”

Kill me now. Thank god, he took away the tequila.

“Who said I ever stopped?” My heart lurched in my throat.

I blew the smoke out slowly, my fogged up brain rushing to keep up with his words. 

Someone stumbled in front of me, slamming into my shoulder sending me flying forward into JJ’s arms. Something cold and wet splattered onto me, the bitter liquid dripping down my legs.

“Are you blind?” I shouted, shoving another drunk party goer off me. Looked like a tourist. 

She held her hands up in apology.

“I’m so sorry. Here, let me help.” To my absolute horror, this fucking tourist used a napkin and went to scrub the stain. Are these people animals? This was custom versace.

“Stop!” My cheeks flushed, from the weed or from my constant streak of bad luck. “Clearly, you’ve never owned anything worth keeping but this is Versace, you dick.”

I needed to go home before I burned this entire house down. 

“Is that how you talk to people now?”

I let out a loud groan. “Oh fuck off, JJ.”

I shoved him away from me, before grabbing the skirt of my dress and heading into the nearest bathroom, which just so happened to be Rafe’s. 

In reality, I just needed to get away from him. I needed my hands to be busy so that I couldn't grab his face and kiss him. Because I really wanted to do that. 

The sound of footsteps have my eyes widening in panic as I take in my ruined dress. All because of that blonde asshole next to me, if he hadn’t showed up, I’d still have my tequila and my sanity.

“I wanted to talk.”

I made a noise at the back of my throat. That didn’t sound like JJ at all.

“Fine, whatever. Close the door.” I didn’t need a million other people to see me lose my shit. I was already at my quota for the day. 

Jj stared at me with a confused look. “Close the door.” I nearly shout as the footsteps get closer but he moves just as quickly and slammed it shut, putting the lock in place.

“I just got this piece too.” I grumbled, huffing at the stained skirt. It was the Medusa 95’ Cut Out Mini dress in a stunning pastel pink. And now ruined with a beer stain from that horrible girl outside. 

“I remember this one.” JJ spoke from behind me. Of course he did. He remembered everything I bought. 

He always demanded fashion shows after all my shopping trips. He knew nothing about clothes but he always paid attention to me. He used to sit for hours while I prattled on and on about clothes.

“Unzip me?” 

“I’m sorry?” He choked out, setting his beer down.

“I need to clean it before it stains. Unzip me.” 

In hindsight, I was goading him. I wanted to see what he would do. I could tell he was already on edge since seeing me with Rafe. I wondered what a little push would do.

Neither of us moved for a beat. JJ puffed out a breath from his cheeks before he walked toward me slowly. I remained stock still, watching his every move in the mirror.  “It’s not like you haven’t seen it all before.” 

My heart fluttered at his nearness. Something I wanted since the minute he turned around and left. Home, I wanted my home back.

I jumped up at the feel of his warm breath against the back of my neck, goosebumps rising instantly. The tug of the zipper had me swallowing the lump in my throat. His other finger caressing every inch of skin, the zipper surrendered. 

The sound of the zipper stopped but he never dropped his hand. Instead, I watched as JJ swallowed before lifting his head, those storming blue eyes connecting with mine in the mirror. 

I stood on my Magda Butrym Appliquéd satin sandals and a flimsy pair of tiny panties. 

“I feel like this is a test.” I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

“Is it?” I mused, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. 

“Yeah and I’m failing.” 

The pads of his thumb brushed along my bottom lip, dragging it down slowly. My lips parted as a soft whimper escaped. 

“You’re still so beautiful, it hurts.” He murmured, almost angry with the revelation. 

Blistering hot satisfaction dripped over me. 

JJ’s other hand grazed my bare back, the contact immediately chasing my back to arch. Sparks of sensitivity erupted from my skin as my body trembled with hot desire. 

His hand moved higher, gripping onto my hair before wrapping the long strands around his hand, tugging my head back, demanding my attention. 

He stared at me with heavy lids, eyes like ocean blue blades. My body began to heat up. 

JJ’s eyes dropped back to my lips causing me to the lick them quickly. He backed me up against the Jack and Jill sink, my back resting against the cool granite counter. 

I blinked slowly, making the decision for him, angling my head up and smashing my lips to his. 

A groan ripped from his chest as he met my kiss with the same crippling desperation. His rough hands dropped from my face to my hips, his nails digging crescent shaped marks in the skin. 

My legs began to slightly shake as his tongue finally brushed against mine. Oxygen was something neither of us needed as we fed off each other's energy. 

His tongue licked and twirled around my own, another moan vibrating between us. JJ’s large hand trailed up skin, goosebumps appearing in its wake, before locking around my throat. 

His grip was strong, not enough to cut off my oxygen but enough to garner my attention. He pulled me up to my tippy toes by my neck, my nipples brushing against the rough fabric of his shirt making me gasp at the contact. His mouth clashed with mine once more, his lips wrapped around my tongue, sucking gently before pulling back and biting out a curse. 

My hands were desperate as they began to unbutton his shirt quickly, pushing the fabric off his shoulders. JJ whipped off the shirt just as my hands began reaching for his shorts, my fingers fumbling with the button. 

The laugh he let out was devastating. His smile was purely lethal for my heart. “We got all the time in the world, princess.” 

My stomach clenched at the nickname he gave me all those years ago. But, we didn’t. We both knew this moment would end the minute we came to our senses. 

JJ unbuttoned his pants and dropped them in one smooth movement before pressing his warm body against mine once more.

“Up, baby.” My arms wrapped around his neck immediately, my nose grazing his. JJ gripped my thighs tight as he placed me on top of the counter. 

He rested the palm of his hands on either side of me, enclosing my frame, daring me to move. JJ leaned down, his lips leaving phantom kisses along my collarbone, nipping as he went along. He stopped at the swell of my breasts, both hands encasing my heavy aching breasts before pressing them together. 

He pressed scorching hot, open-mouthed kisses on every inch of exposed skin. His tongue pressing against my swollen nipples before closing around one and giving a strong suck. I was a mess beneath him, my chest heaving with heavy pants. 

He nipped and tugged at the soft flesh of my breasts, leaving small purple love bites scattered on my chest. He pressed a kiss on each one, a pleased hum echoing within the bathroom. 

JJ dropped to his knees slowly, each hand running down my bare legs. I wanted to see him. 

I leaned back on the palm of my hands and arched my back in a teasing invitation. Pulling my legs from his grasp, I propped my feet up on the counter, but kept my knees bent, the tops touching.

The utter obsession that painted his face had me biting down on my lip hard enough to draw blood. “Please, Jayj.”

He stood stock still, similar to a statue. It looked like he almost stopped breathing as I slowly pushed my knees apart. I was drenched, I could feel myself soaking the skimpy fabric of my thong, my thighs glistening with the evidence of my arousal. 

JJ’s eyes went black, locking in on my wet pussy before jumping back up to me. His hands found my thighs and roughly dug into the skin to keep my legs from closing. 

He leaned forward, his index finger hooking the front of my thong before curling the fabric and tugging it up roughly between my lips. “Fuck.” I mewled, watching as he pressed his face between my legs and inhaled deeply. 

I could feel my clit throbbing, needing to be touched. With one more tug, JJ slaps the side of my thigh, having me lift my hips up to take the last piece of fabric off my body. An insatiable grin formed on his face that went straight to my clit.

The first touch onto my lips had my hips shooting off the counter, his touch like electricity. He blew a breath against the aching skin, his hot mouth watering at the sight of me. Two fingers pushed apart my drenched folds, rubbing against the sensitive skin again and again, turning me into a mindless puddle. 

He smirked at my trembling legs. “You okay, baby?”

“Fuck off.” I responded through gritted teeth, trying to gather myself. 

He dipped forward, gathering saliva before slowly spitting it out, the stream of spit pattering against my spread lips. The sound was obscene. 

“That’s not very nice.” 

Tears of frustration began to build up as I discarded my hands into those loose blonde strands, knocking his hat off. “You love it.”

The grin he sent me was feral and I knew this was exactly what I needed. “I sure do, princess.”

He enclosed his mouth against my swollen clit and sucked roughly, a loud shout erupting from the depths of my chest. JJ parted my lips again, forcing his tongue inside and out, again and again, devouring every inch of my pussy. 

My cunt clenched against his tongue making him moan loudly. My body was burning as he swirled his tongue along the bundle of nerves once more. Another cry left me as I tried to find something to grab onto. His tongue lapped up all the fluids that continued to come out and I found myself forgetting how to breathe. 

I pushed his face deeper, grinding against his nose that continuously rubbed against my clit, my fingers tugging at his hair, needing a release. The knot in my lower stomach began to tighten as I whispered his name again and again like a prayer. The sound of my breathy pleas spur him on as he slipped two fingers in my pussy, meeting no resistance. 

The squelching noises had me throwing my head back against the mirror which had begun to fog up. I clenched around his large fingers that rubbed against my sensitive walls wanting him to lose control. 

JJ curled his fingers upward causing my knees to buckle and my mind go blank. I was close and he knew based on the tremors the shook my legs. I could barely hold myself up as everything went fuzzy. 

A choked moan escaped my lips that curled into a ‘o’ as his mouth sucked that rigid spot of flesh while his fingers continued to hammer into me. The invisible band snapped and as a wave of pleasure washed over me. My body finally began to relax as I tried to catch my breath, my chest rising and falling dramatically. 

I spared a glance at him. JJ’s eyes were low, eyes pitch black and glued to my face, and his cheeks flushed red. He looked pussy drunk. 

“Looks like I have to clean you up.” He mumbled against the flesh of my thighs. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as his hot tongue began to catch all the arousal that dripped down my thighs. I was sensitive and tried to move back, but his hands locked around my thighs to keep them open. Shives forced their way up my spine as he lapped all my fluids up, humming as he went along, not leaving one bit of skin untouched. JJ pressed one last kiss before pulling back and licking his lips.

My heart hammered through my chest and vaguely though my haze of pleasure did I hear a murmur.

“Huh?” I felt him smile against my thigh, clearly finding my delirious state funny.

“Barry, man, have you seen her?” Rafe’s voice drifted under the door. 

I froze at the sound of his voice, my eyes darting to JJ who just smirked from his spot between my legs. 

“She’s right here, man.” JJ whispered, straightening up to press a kiss on the crown of my head. I shook my head at him, my eyes wide with a silent plea, but JJ disregarded it. 

 “She’s a little busy at the moment.” 

I shook my head, pressing my palm against his mouth, his next words coming out muffled. He never knew when to shut up. The last thing I needed was Rafe finding us in his bathroom.

I kept my hand on JJ’s mouth until footsteps faded and we were alone once again. 

JJ nipped at the palm of my hands, his tongue slipping out. My face screwed up as I let out a squeal, “Ew, Jayj.” 

“Shouldn’t have tried to shut me up to protect your boyfriend’s feelings.” He said the words lightly, but I could hear the slight edge in his tone. 

Pushing him off my softly, I hopped off the counter with shaky legs. “Since when do you care about Rafe’s feelings?”

I winced as I tried to take a step, my knees nearly knocking together from the aftershock. JJ always left me a shaking disheveled mess afterwards, but I felt lighter, because he was looking at me the way he used to. 

And, I wanted that to last just a bit longer. 

“I don’t care about his feelings-“ He scoffed, before pausing at the teasing smile on my lips. “You’re fucking with me.”

“Too easy.” I let out a shriek of laughter as JJ's arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me up in the air.

That was how I found myself sweaty, pressed against Rafe’s sheets, struggling to breathe. The violent sound of skin slapping echoing in the room, my raspy moans intertwining with his hot pants. 

One of JJ’s hands gripped the back of my head, pinning me to the mattress, the other pushing down on my back, forming a deep arch, to pull his cock in deeper. 

I couldn’t register anything he was muttering as he bottomed out since of me, my mind go blank. My walls spasmed against him with each rut of his hip, sucking him back in every time he pulled back. 

I was soaked, my pussy dripping around him. The sopping wet noises spurring him on, his pace quickening with those deep purposeful strokes. 

I couldn’t focus on anything but him. The smell; the feel of him. The way his cock continued to brush against my cervix made me borderline delicious. 

“Fuck,” JJ shuddered, rolling his hips in and out of my pussy had me clamping around him once more, a tidal wave beginning to build up inside me. 

 I whimper left me, the coil in my stomach pulling tight as I searched for a release. The tip of his cock pressed into me repeatedly, forcing my legs to shake once more. 

My hands searched for something to hold onto as I tried to anchor myself from being drowned in pleasure. “J. J, I-I cant-I’m gonna-“

I felt his pace begin to pick him, his cock twitching inside me as he continued his movements, grinding his hips against the globes of my ass, until there was no space between us. 

It was like he was imprinting himself into my skin. Like he didn’t want me to forget him. 

As if I could ever forget JJ Maybank. 

My whines got louder, his words becoming more and more depraved. His large calloused hands ran all over my body like he was etching it to memory. 

Quick and quiet gasps bled from my parted lips, as he hammered into me from behind, his hands lacing with mine against the sheets. 

The coil in my stomach snapped, white flash blinding my vision, this orgasim more intense than the first. I could feel myself coating his hips and upper thighs, fluids dripping on the sheets. 

I could hear JJ’s voice whine, he began to babble nonsense under his breath, with each languid thrust. 

My heartbeat was in my ears as I pushed my hips back to match his thrusts, wanting him to finish despite all my sensitivity coming to head. His nails dug my hips, my cunt suffocating as he continued to grunt his cock into me. 

“Fuck, Kiara.” His grunt echoed in the room.

Kiara? 

I went numb. I couldn’t breathe-I couldn’t, I needed-

Bile coated my throat as whatever childish hope I had shriveled up in my chest. So I laid there, not knowing what to do, as JJ continued to pump in and out of me, but the soft intimacy we shared before dissipated. 

Why did no one ever pick me? Why didn’t anyone want me? 

I let my body go limp even though everything in me wanted to shove him off, but I just couldn’t get myself to move.

That was all it took for JJ to realize the slip of his tongue. JJ froze behind me as I shoved my face into my arms and choked on a gut wrenching sob. 

“Fuck, I-hold on,” JJ’s panick was audible as he slowly pulled out of me. I cupped my mouth to try and muffle the scream I wanted to let out. 

His blue eyes widened in horror at his mistake but it was too late. The words were already burned into my mind, replaying on a torturous loop.

JJ’s hand reached out for me, but I shrank back, scrambling to the headboard, desperate to put distance between us. 

I curled into myself, pressing my back hard against the headboard, willing for myself to disappear. 

“What did you just call me?” My chin wobbled. I tried to remind myself to breathe but with each inhale, my lungs were saturated with pain. 

“I-That was an accident.” He stuttered, raking his hands through his hair roughly.

“Get out.” 

“It just slipped out, I didn’t mean it.” 

“Get the hell out, JJ.” I yelled, and pointed at the door with a shaky finger. 

Like I said, his words never dented me, no they completely destroyed me. They cut me like a freshly honed razor blade.

And I was going to die of blood loss if I didn’t get him to leave this room. He had no problem leaving me then, why was he fighting it now?

Was he thinking about her the whole time he was inside me? 

Thought after thought haunted me. Was he comparing our bodies? Was he comparing the sex? 

Mortification had my stomach churning as I debated what to do next. My body was wound tight, on the verge of hyperventilating. 

Did he love her? Did he love her like he used to love me? Did he fuck her the way he fucked me?

I hated him. Before him, none of these thoughts would have crossed my mind. I may have been alone but at least I liked who I was. I never would have questioned myself the way I am now. But after him, the only thing I hated more than him was myself.

“Was Kiara not available,” I murmured, “so you came to the one person you knew would say yes?”

JJ didn’t find my joke funny. The air was tense, as if we were trapped in a steamed up bathroom, making each breath harder than the last.

“Kie and I aren’t together.”

“JJ, you know where the door is. Use it.” 

“I don’t want to leave.” He shook his head, his eyes flickering with something heavy. 

“You had no problem doing it before.”

“That was-“ JJ squeezed his eyes shut, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

He shuffled closer to my body, but still wasn't touching me. I nibbled on my bottom lip and wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks hastily. 

“I’m sorry.” He said, clearing his throat. “I am so so sorry.”

I lost my grip completely as those eyes perverted mine. His eyes were so blue, it was easy to get lost in them. 

Words couldn’t find their way out of my mouth. With wary eyes, I watched as he stood up and disappeared in the bathroom before appearing again with his shirt. 

JJ reached for me before pausing, his eyes asking a silent question. I nodded, forcing myself to loosen the grip I had on the sheets. 

I let him put the shirt on me, its protection better than the flimsy sheet. JJ dropped his head on my chest, his tan arms wrapped around my waist, curling himself into me. 

“I’m sorry.” 

I was sorry too. I waited for months for him to be back in my arms, but he ruined every independent thought I had. I couldn’t stop the overthinking. I couldn’t stop the pain.

I was hurting too, but I was the one comforting him. I was always the one comforting him. What about me?

I laid on the soft sheets and stared up at the ceiling. Our heavy breathing echoing in an otherwise silent room. His heavy arm tossed over naked torso, his fingers softly tracing the curve. The whisper of his breath caressing the nape of my neck where his face was buried. The familiar tickle of his golden strands brushing against my nose, his coconut shampoo wafting my senses.

The JJ induced haze began to clear up and the ugliness began to set in. 

A single tear escaped my eye, its trailing burning it’s way down the side of my face. I loved him. Even after he willingly abandoned me. After he humiliated me in front of everyone. After he called me her name.

I couldn’t cut him out. It didn’t matter what he did to me, the minute we’re within the same vicinity, my self preservation disappeared. Then I was left, treading water in the middle of a storm, with nothing but a life jacket. 

I had no one to blame but myself in this situation. I knew how he spoke to me, how easily he left me, how embarrassed he was of me. But he just smiled and it was like everything melted away. 

I so badly wanted to feel again, but not like this.

So all I can do is lay here. In this bed. With a boy who made me hate the kind person that I was. 

I made my bed. I didn’t realize this was how I’d feel when I lied in it. I turned into someone I hated. And suddenly I was bone-tired, exhaustion suffocating my lungs. I had no idea who I was and I was tired of being someone I wasn’t. 

“Where are my clothes?” I said. God, I needed to leave this room before Rafe found me. 

“I wasn’t really focused on that part, babe.” JJ mumbled, burrowing himself deeper into my side. 

My stomach lurched. I thought I’d feel different. I thought that maybe this would fix everything. That in some deluded way, we would get back together and everything else didn’t matter. Like he didn’t leave me standing at the party after stomping on my chest.

“I need them.” I mumbled. I choked down the need to throw up. The feel of our sweat coating my body and his soft breaths against my skin had me almost hyperventilating. 

Home, he used to be home. But, I’ve never felt like more of a stranger than in his arms right now. This was no longer my home. 

Kook pussy. Daddy issues.

I fucked up. Fuck, I fucked up. 

This only made me feel worse. I was good enough to fuck, but not enough to stay. 

“What are you in such a hurry for?” His fingers paused their persistent movement. 

“I have to get back-“

“To who?” JJ snapped. 

I moved to sit up, dragging the sheet with me as I avoided his gaze. “You know who.”

He didn’t need to know that Rafe and I basically ended. I just wanted him to hurt in the same way I did.

He let out a scoff. “You can’t be serious?” 

“Dead serious.” 

“This isn’t like you-“

“You left. You don’t know who I am anymore.” 

“Clearly,” he chuckled under his breath, “But suddenly Rafe does?”

I shrugged. “He’s my friend.”

“I don’t give a fuck who he is-“

I tuned him out. I was too busy trying to get his actual voice out of my head. 

Kiara. Not me. Kiara. Not me. 

It had taken every bit of strength to not chase after him that day. To not call and text, begging for him to give me the time of day. And I know, I know I should be stronger. I know I should have said good riddance and moved on, but love was never simple. 

When I saw him tonight, I thought that maybe it was fate. So all the waiting, all the practice of self control paid off because he came back. But, was this what was waiting for me?

“You slept with me,” I said, “ but you’re thinking about her?”

I didn’t want to know the answer, but I had to ask it. It was just one of a million questions I had since the day he walked away. Was there something I could have done differently?

I was wracking my brain to see where I had gone wrong, but maybe I just fell in love with the wrong person.

“From what I hear, you don’t care about anything these days. Why would you care about this?” I couldn’t detect any emotion in his words, just cold hard facts. 

I really was out here exceeding everyone’s expectations of me. 

But, he had to know that when it came to him, I always cared too much. That’s why his words caused another jagged piece of my heart to puncture my chest.

“Why would I care?” I whispered, shaking my head at him. “Are you listening to yourself?” 

Had I deluded myself so much into thinking we experienced the same love in our relationship? How could he even question that. Everything I did was always for him.

“I care about you, that never changed.”

Something pained flickered through his gaze. “Care about me? Yet your fucking Rafe Cameron.” 

“You’re mad about that?” I choked on a humorless laugh,”Let me jog your memory real quick since apparently you’ve got amnesia, you were the one that told me to be with him.” 

“Well, I didn’t think you’d actually do that to me.”

I threw my arms up in the air, exasperated,”Then why say it at all? Wait, I forgot who I’m talking to. You’re the king of saying shit you don’t mean.” 

“Saying shit and actually doing it are two different things.”

“Well, you did do it Jayj.” My lungs hitched. 

His jaw tightened, tension seeping out of him in waves. 

“You left. You did the one thing you promised you’d never do. You didn’t even look back as you did it.” I shouted, tears blurring my vision as my body continued to shake from adrenaline. “All because what? Rafe hurt your feelings? Because I have more money than you?”

I wanted to understand him. I thought I did once, but the more I thought about our breakup the more I saw it had nothing to do with me. And everything to do with him.

“Do me a favor and grow up. This is the real world. You’d swap places with any one of us in a second if you could.” 

JJ narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want any part of your world. I thought I made that clear.”

“I’m aware. But I was there, remember? For every bonfire, for every boat ride with you and your friends. What was it you guys said again?” It rushed out of me, “to going full kook?”

He watched me stoically, his fingers tugging at his bracelets. 

“I guess you’re the only one that can have the money in the relationship?” I raised my eyebrow at him, waiting for him to respond. 

The beautiful blonde boy that seeped into my bloodstream and made me love him. But, ruined us in the process. He destroyed everything he touched. 

He pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes, 

“What happened?”

“You want to know what happened? You fucking happened.”

That familiar anger flared in his eyes and I knew exactly what he was going to do. What he always did to me, but this time, I wasn’t going to let him erase me. Not again.

“Let’s talk about who you turned into?” JJ spat vehemently. “What? Rafe buys you a nice purse and you’re suddenly snorting lines of coke?” 

“It was actually a couple purses.” 

JJ shot daggers at me. “So what? You’re proud of that?” No, I only wanted someone to care about me if I died.

“I’m only doing what you told me, I’m sorry you don’t like the person you turned me into.”

I didn’t like her much either. But, JJ never gave me more and I realized he would never give me more, no matter how much I pushed. No matter how hard I tried to get him to see that I was the one he should be with. 

It pained me that it took all of this for me to realize that there were parts of JJ he would never let anyone have. 

“Why are you still here?” I said quietly. “I’m not going to let you sit here and make me feel like shit for how I chose to cope with what you broke.” 

I was done giving the men in my life power over me. I needed to stand on my own two feet even if that meant I had to do it alone. 

“Feel like shit?” JJ nodded his head with mock outrage,” Princess, you just let me fuck you in your boyfriend’s bed. I think you feel like shit already.” 

He was right, but I still recoiled back at the venom he spat at me. I sagged with exhaustion. He was just lashing out the way he always did.

“I didn’t know, JJ.” My voice cracked. “I-I didn’t know. I just did what I thought I was supposed to do.”

JJ’s head snapped up at the waver in my voice. His ocean eyes showed a clear battle, one I knew he’d lose. “S-Sometimes it just felt like I wasn’t good enough.”

His confession broke me. I knew the thoughts that ravaged his brain only because those same thoughts now drown in mine.  

My fingers twisted the hem of the shirt that my body was swimming in, a nervous tic I never got rid of. “But I never said that to you, you listened to everyone but me. You were more than enough.”

A tortured look passed his face, like the obvious miscommunication had disrupted everything. “I thought I was being paraded around to prove a point.”

I roughly wiped the tears that kept falling, “It’s okay to not want to struggle for everything in your life, JJ. You were exhausted and I just wanted to help you.”

“I didn’t know. I-just didn’t know.” I continued to repeat.  And I didn't. I had no experience with love. I wanted him to have the world since he was born with less than most people I knew, yet he deserved so much more.

“You let your friends help you, I don’t understand how I was any different.”

His blonde hair was sticking up in multiple directions, a clear sign of his obvious distress. "Because they’re my family."

Irremediable sorrow burrowed in my chest. "But, I was your family too."

I felt layers of grief his me in waves, quick and hard, one after the other as I came to terms with the fact that JJ never considered me any part of his family.

"You were the only family I ever had. I thought I was your family.” I sniffled, my ribs began to ache from the constant crying. 

A loud crack had me jump back as Rafe bursted into the room, chest heaving from exertion. He paused, his eyes locking in on the messed up sheets before dragging over to me and scanning my disheveled appearance. 

I thought we hit a milestone. JJ finally started talking and letting me know exactly what was going on in that brain of his. And maybe, that would be enough for me, for now. This all happened because JJ didn’t know how to communicate and I knew that wasn’t his fault, but at one point he needed to grow up. 

I was willing to hold his hand while he did it. But I watched as JJ’s eyes clocked the necklace Rafe wore with my initials. His gaze narrowed at the purse in his hand and my car keys in the other. 

The jealousy was evident in the way he rolled his shoulders back, his face granite. “Cute necklace.”

Rafe smirked, tilting his head to the side. “Thanks. It looks even better swinging in her face.”

JJ’s cool demeanor dropped, his blue eyes darkened into a brewing storm. “Enjoy my seconds, bro.” He clapped Rafe on the chest. 

My heart popped in my chest at his words, another bandage would do little to fix the shards that once resembled a heart. And, I knew then, that JJ confirmed the conclusion I just came to myself. 

“JJ?”

“What?”

“You were right. I do deserve better than you.” 

Loving him cost me something much greater: myself. 

I couldn’t continue to hide myself in any man that told me pretty words. I was no longer my own person, just a mere extension of them. One that they treated poorly and only took out when they were bored. I was always willing to do what they would never do for me.

I was just a girl, in love with an extraordinary boy who couldn’t see past all the things he was not.

I walked over to where Rafe was, forcing myself to remember his cruel words also. It was the only way I could get myself to walk out of here. My eyes lingered on the necklace for a second before I pulled my keys from his grasp and grabbed my purse. 

I wore nothing but JJ’s shirt, but at the moment I couldn’t care less. I left my clothes in Rafe’s bathroom, deciding it was better to leave them then spend another second in either of their soul sucking presence. I could always buy another dress. 

I couldn’t buy another me. Not if I kept letting these boys break me. 

This time, I was the one that never looked back.

Side note: I WROTE THIS THREE TIMES so pls pls pls be nice to me. I tried to incorporate a lot of people's ideas. I know the OC is very wishy washy but she's so real for that.

TAG LIST: @maybankslover @theficshop @cantbecreative @plk-18

@alicecullensgf @fairylightsandbubblegum @redhead1180 @julczimozart @wh0reforbucknasty @alyisdead @trynafindliz @bradleyroosterbradshawfr @enchantedinfinity @kaylinfayezink @godknows-shetried @sipsthecoffee @leanastarky @mirellef2001 @esquivelbianca @v-a-l-n-t-y-l-e @wonderstruck4llthew4yhome @destinydestnation @ilivinili @metatarooo @a-j-stuffs @vik-05 @thecokefairy @marauderssmut @maybank-cameron-fan @arinadixin @maxine27 @wostarsea @lilymaybank @jennapancake @dreamzluvrr @formulalfc @h1storicbabe @maybankswhore @haven247 @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist @drudyslut @rockychick @little-frk-satellite @gwenlovesharrystyles @rudspankow @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @bobo-bush

[sauroff]

I know this is really weird but hear me out. My dad (62yo) has always been a fan of racing, and has gonne to some local races (I used to go too as a small kid, always rooting for whoever had a purple car). But he has always dreamed to see a F1 race. This year, he was very shyly considering going to Brasil's. For the first time in a long while, there is a latino on the top 10, and just recently another one, from our country, also entered the top 20. So, he is ecstatic.

The thing is, as soon as the prices were posted, he realized it was much more than he can spend. Just the ticket is way too expensive, and he has to add the plane tickets, place to stay, etc.

Enter me here, trying to get that damn ticket, while my brother takes care of the other expenses, to take him to go watch his cars go brrrr I don't have the money, but at least I can try to get it.

That being said, let's get to the important part!

PRIZES:

1- 50usd to use on my Redbubble (or someone's else if you want to! I'm not gonna get jealous)*

2- 40usd commission (can be one full body, a half body couple, etc)

3- 20usd to use on my Redbubble ***

ANYONE WHO BUYS A TICKET GETS AN AVATAR AS A THANKS **

IMPORTANT: The raffle will only take place if at least 35 tickets/numbers are sold. If you bought one ticket, but we didn't reach that number, you will get your avatar and a refund.

Tickets can be bought via Ko-fi or Paypal invoice. Send me a DM and I'll help you out with it :)

* If Redbubble doesn't deliver to your country, you can change it for 50usd in a commission, from me or another artist. If you do want the original price, you must also be comfortable with giving me an address to deliver the goods to!

** The style of the avatar will be this one:

*** If you are not from the Tolkien fandom, you can check more of my non-tolkien related works on my IG or my Artstation. Almost any work can be made into a print or sticker or other products from RB.

♥♥♥ Shares are greatly appreciated ♥♥♥

[lehguru]

Would you mind making a JJK version of older users insecure about others judging their relationship with a younger partner? 🙏🏽

THINK YOU NEED SOMEONE YOUNGER + JUJUTSU KAISEN

jujutsu kaisen men feeling insecure about having a younger partner ft. gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento

info + tw: tbh this theme for one piece was my nightmare, i cant write anything for shanks cuz i feel exactly like that one meme from Akira lol. tw age gap (reader is significantly younger than them, but over 20) so mdni pls — ko-fi

gojo satoru didn't really care about anything others said when it came to your relationship. all that mattered to him was your opinion of the relationship; but, often, he would wonder why you chose to date him.

one day, while you both were chilling in your shared apartment, you noticed gojo looking at you a lot more than normal. he just stared at you, his cheek resting against his palm; his eyes still held the absolute adoration he have for you, but you could sense something was bothering him. putting your phone to the side, you snuggled against him, one of his arms coming to hug your shoulder. "are you okay, satoru? is something bothering you?" he nodded and sighed.

"you are gorgeous, you know that?" you rolled your eyes at his sappy behavior, but he continued. "'m serious! you can be with anyone you want. was just wonderin' why you are with a guy like me, when you could be with, i don't know, someone younger or something." you giggled and shook your head. before he could say anything, you murmured: "i've never met someone 'younger' that was hot and handsome like you. plus, you're rich." he gasped dramatically and you laughed loudly, "i love you, my old man." he smiled and hugged you tightly, his lips pressing a kiss on top of your head.

geto suguru, just like gojo, doesn't care at all about the age gap between you two. even if you two are at somewhat different moments of your life, he is glad to be the one you chose to be next to you through the good and the bad moments. whenever people give you two a glance that last too long or whisper about you, one cold look from him is enough to make them cower away.

one day, the comments ended up getting to you. you knocked on the door of his office and you heard a soft 'come in'. his soft smile dropped as soon as he saw your expression; "is everything okay?" he murmured, motioning for you to come closer. you sat on his lap, your head buried on his neck, and he hugged your waist. with his scent making you feel better, you murmured: "someone called me a gold digger today."

you heard geto click his tongue, his arms tightening around you. "they are simply idiots. pay them no mind, alright?" he pulled away enough to hold your chin and make you look into his purple eyes. "i adore you. i adore to pamper you. that should be enough. ignore them, angel." you pressed a kiss on his soft lips, making him chuckle. his words were always enough to calm you down and you had no idea how he does it, he just do.

nanami kento often thought about your age gap, but it wasn't exactly because of the age itself. he had a plan for his life; he was going to work and save enough money to hit his 50's and move to malaysia. that's it. but... now that you're in the picture, he doesn't know if that could happen.

he didn't want you to lose the best years of your youth with him. or lose those years at a secluded place with only him to spend the rest of your life with. he didn't want you to regret your love for him. "are you okay, kento?" you asked, hugging him from behind and placing a soft kiss on the nape of his neck. he nodded, his thoughts now floating away. "yes, love." he turned off the stove, the breakfast he was preparing for you made the kitchen smell divine.

"why are you up this early?" nanami turned around and placed a soft kiss on your forehead, his palm resting on your cheek. "well..." he started to feel your face heat up under his touch. "i was looking at some plane tickets. to malaysia. i know, i know, they are expensive. i just thought it would be good to see where we will live, you know? maybe look at a place near the beach?" and just like that. all his worries melted away. he smiled, a soft and small smile that you adored with all your heart, and murmured. "it sounds good."

2024 © content belongs to lehguru, do not repost, translate or feed it into ai without permission

[scioscribe]

The Great American Memoir

post-canon, Hawkeye & BJ

“I was walking past the bookstore, and I saw it in the window. I had to make the owner open up early so I could touch it and be sure it was real. I had to double-check the copyright page.”

BJ rubbed his eyes. “Hawk, it’s six AM here, and Erin had a sleepover last night. She and her friends decided to teach themselves how to play the piano with, of course, the corollary that practice would make perfect even at two in the morning. I’m tired, you woke me up, you woke Peg up, and I have no idea what you’re talking about. Call back later.”

“I shouldn’t have added to his royalties, but I couldn’t resist. To Serve Was Heaven: A Surgeon’s Story of Life at the Front Lines: A Memoir. Two colons. You know what that means it’s twice as full of.”

“Someone wrote a memoir.”

“Someone! Someone! Frank Burns, Beej, Ferret Face himself.”

Three girls banging away at “Chopsticks” in the small hours of the morning took an abrupt backseat in terms of importance. “Frank wrote a memoir? You’re sure?”

“I’m telling you, I’m holding it right here in my hands.”

“Okay. You were right to wake me up.”

Hawkeye crowed with laughter, and it was the kind of delight that BJ felt younger just listening to. He smiled, and there was a beat of silence where he felt like Hawkeye knew that—sometimes the world just lined up that way, at least for them, and it didn’t matter how many miles were between them.

“You’ll have to read it to me,” BJ said. “It’s bad enough that you put money in Frank’s pocket, I’m not giving him mine.”

“You think you could stop me from reading it to you? You’re destined to my dulcet tones in nightly phone calls until we get through all three hundred sixty-eight pages. Not counting footnotes.”

“Pictures?”

“No, no, nothing but maps.”

“Well, that makes sense.”

“Right. Everyone knows Frank can’t be photographed.”

“Like Dracula,” BJ agreed. “You know, never mind reading it to me. Bring it here. Maybe we could get a couple people together. Can you find someone to look after your practice for a week or two?”

“For this kind of reunion? I’ll bribe every doctor on the Eastern Seaboard. Well, except Charles. I’ll have to bring him with me.”

“You sure he’ll come? For a 4077 book club that didn’t exist until this morning? He never even met Frank.”

“Oh, he’ll come,” Hawkeye said.

“You know what that is, don’t you,” BJ said. “The confidence of an only child, someone who’s always been used to wrapping other people around their little finger.”

“That’s a horrible way to think about it. I don’t have the confidence of an only child, I have the confidence of a man with long eyelashes. I bat them and I get what I want because I’m so adorable.”

“A little ineffective over the phone.”

“Then I’ll see him in person! I’m telling you, he’ll say yes. And if he doesn’t, I’ll bring him in the trunk of my car.”

“You’re not flying?”

“Well, not if I have to kidnap Charles. He wouldn’t fit in my carry-on. Besides, we can’t do this without Margaret, and if I drive, I can pick her up on the way and save her the cost of a plane ticket.”

“And by that point, if they’re looking for whoever took Charles, they won’t be looking for a man and a woman. You’ll get through all the roadblocks. What about Trapper? We should at least get the whole Swamp complement—Frank by proxy—along with Margaret. Can’t really throw together a full reunion at such short notice, but at least with a smaller one I can offer up some spare bedrooms.”

“I’ll talk to Trapper.”

“You’ll bat your eyelashes.” BJ paused. He was running one finger along the telephone cord, in and out of the loops. “It’ll be good to see you.”

“Yeah.” Hawkeye’s voice was a little rougher now. “You too. Give my love to Peg and Erin, but hold a little of it back for yourself, okay?”

“I think I can do that.”

He went back to bed after that, spooning up against Peg’s back. She shifted a little, enough so she wouldn’t be talking into the pillow, and said, “Is everything all right with Hawkeye?”

“Fine. He sends his love. I’m sorry the phone woke you.” He stroked her shoulder. “What would you think about us hosting, say, Hawk and Margaret and Charles and Trapper? On the grounds that Frank wrote a book, so it’s a very special occasion.”

Peg rolled over. BJ stole Hawkeye’s tactic and batted his eyelashes at her.

“Frank Burns wrote a book,” she said.

“A memoir of his wartime experience.”

“Are you in it?”

“We can only hope.”

“My God,” Peg said. “I’ll make up the spare rooms.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not paying for my fiancee's trip?

(Sorry mod, sending this again as I forgot to add an important context detail)

This is going to be long, I'm so sorry!

Okay, so I (23M) am engaged to a very wonderful fiancee (27NB). She's fantastic, and I want to make it very clear that our relationship is great - we have good communication, we never argue, we're always on call without getting tired of each other, etc etc. There is just one issue we have - her financial habits.

For context, I am disabled and can't work due to both mental and physical health issues, so I'm on disability benefits. She can and does work.

We're long-distance (she's in America and I'm in the UK), and we've been dealing with it pretty well so far. At the beginning of our relationship, we agreed that before we got to the point of talking about moving in with each other etc. we would need to have her visit me here at least once to meet my family and get used to how things work here (as she wants to move here), and I would need to visit her at least once to do the same there re: meeting her parents etcetera.

The agreement was that I'd pay for her to come here, and then when it was my turn she'd pay for my visit there so it was fair.

She first visited me about a year and a half ago and came over here for two weeks. I paid for her plane tickets, our transport everywhere (we don't have cars), the AirBNB we stayed in, etc. This ran me about £2k, which was all I had at the time, and I didn't have enough left over to pay for her food on top of that, so I asked if she could cover her own food costs while she was here. This caused a bit of an issue at the time as she was very clearly frustrated at having to do it, and would make comments like "Ugh I wanted a new computer but now I have to save for this trip", "I'm having to sacrifice so much to pay for this" and it made me feel incredibly invalidated, like I was covering everything else and also sacrificing a lot to pay for everything else for us but the one thing I'd asked her to help with was too much. We had a conversation about it at the time and she apologised and said she'd work on it, so we moved on.

Plans changed a bit very early this year, as I was due to get surgery and the friend who was supposed to accompany me there dropped out last minute. I had no one else nearby to turn to and I couldn't go alone (it was the kind of surgery where I would need someone around for at least 1-2 weeks afterwards to help me move around and do daily tasks). As a last ditch effort I asked my fiancee to fly over again and help me out, and I paid for this again which I was completely fine with doing as the trip was a favour for me and it was unplanned from her end. This was another ~£2k.

So cut to summer this year. This was when I was supposed to have my visit over to America. She, at this point, was making pretty good money at a school job. However, when I asked her if we could finalise the plans and buy tickets, she told me that she had no money.

This is where I explain that she's really, REALLY bad with money. She impulse-buys clothes and things for her room etc., she plays gacha games like Genshin Impact and spends quite a lot of money on 'pulls' and the gambling mechanic, things like that. It turned out that through the whole time of having this job she'd been basically spending money as soon as she got it and she now had nothing for the trip. I was admittedly frustrated with her (especially as she initially lied to me and told me she hadn't spent money on games etc. and then later confessed that it IS where the money had gone), but we agreed we could push back the trip to winter/Christmas-time to give her more time to save, and honestly I didn't really mind because I've never spent Christmas/New Year with anyone before, so shifting the visit to over those days would be a nice experience.

However, soon after this she was fired from her job for too many call-outs/absences. For the next few months, she didn't get another job - she said she was doing all she could and was applying for, but I often got the impression that she wasn't and was sort of throwing out an application every few weeks and then writing it off as 'done', which I could be completely misinterpreting so take that with a grain of salt. I kept pushing her to get a job so we could get the trip sorted out and I know she got kind of frustrated with me a few times for it.

I ended up giving up the closer we got to the time and offered to just cover it again if she could pay me back when she did get a job, and she agreed.

Unfortunately, after this I was rendered homeless due to my abusive home situation. I was fortunate enough to be offered government housing and I now have an apartment in town, but it's completely unfurnished (literally all that's in it is a single bed and a cooker, there's no flooring or anything yet). I now have to put all the money I have saved (about £3k) towards getting flooring (which is a little over £1k by itself), furnishings, getting the walls painted, sorting out gas and electricity, etc. I'm also now paying the bills for this apartment. As a result, there's no possible way I could afford to cover the trip anymore myself.

It looked like things were getting sorted because my fiancee got another job recently. It's pretty well-paying, she seems to enjoy it so she's not calling out, and she kept prompting me to talk details of the trip with her so it felt like it was all getting figured out and she was ready to finalise it.

Then today I asked her how much money she had ready for it and she said... $15. I'm genuinely lost on how she still hasn't saved any money, she claims she used it all on "bills" but she doesn't pay rent or cover any housing costs as she still lives with her parents, so I don't understand at all where it's all going. We have less than a month before the trip is supposed to happen, nothing is sorted, we still have no clue where we'd be staying, no plane tickets have been purchased, and now it's looking a lot like it's going to have to be pushed back AGAIN to next year.

I thought about trying to pay for it again, because I DO really want that Christmas and New Year with her. Delaying it again would also mess up our future plans, as the plan was to get this trip to America and meeting her family done this year, then spending the first half of next year on the Visa process and then the latter half getting her actually moved over. It also means I would have to delay my college education, as I was going to start my course early next year, which I wouldn't be able to do if the trip is next year instead as it would require me to take weeks off.

If I tried, I probably could cover it - I need to spend the ~£1k on flooring as that's already arranged, but I could technically use the remaining £2k to fund the trip. However, this would mean my house would remain unfurnished and barely habitable for months longer. It's not so bad if I know she'd be able to pay me back quickly, but the reality is that I don't know how long it would take for me to see the money back.

Part of me also feels like she's kind of expecting me to give in and pay for it last minute in order to not delay it, because I offered before and I was willing to pay for the last two trips. But it's just so depressing and frustrating, because it feels like I keep giving things up and putting things into these trips and getting her over here, and trying to get it back from her is just like running into a wall.

We've talked about it before, but she insists there's nothing more she can do, she's trying as hard as she can, and that she's upset about it too. I just don't know what to do about it anymore.

So I guess my question is, AITA for complaining about the trip, missing Christmas/New Year and pushing her on money and nagging her about what she does with hers instead of just taking the L and covering the trip again until she can pay me back?

What are these acronyms?

[hooked-on-elvis]

ELVIS GIVING ALL THE DOLLAR BILLS HE HAD ON HAND TO A SOLDIER.

The White House trip, late December 1970.

Elvis Presley (1) Army years, ca. 1958 and (2) December 1970.

PLANE TRIP FROM LOS ANGELES TO WASHINGTON D.C. ON DECEMBER 20, 1970. I had to snap into action to work out all the details for Elvis’s return trip to D.C.—lining up our airline tickets, making preboarding arrangements, booking our hotel rooms, and hiring limos to get us to and from the airports. There was no way to do this without spending some more of Elvis’s money — I charged most of it to his American Express card. A short while later, with Sir Gerald [Elvis' favorite Limo driver in L.A., according to Jerry] again at the wheel, we were driving back to LAX. It had occurred to me that we might need some cash during the course of the trip. I didn’t have any (not an unusual situation for me back then) and Elvis didn’t have any, either. All we had was his credit card and a checkbook that I’d found in his desk at Hillcrest. The ever-resourceful Sir Gerald spoke up and said that he knew someone at the Beverly Hilton Hotel who might honor a check for $500 on a Sunday night, so we made the stop there and succeeded in getting the money. Elvis handed it to me for safekeeping. We got to the airport and were the first to board our red-eye flight. As the rest of the passengers boarded we noticed that there were an unusual number of soldiers on the plane — guys coming home from Vietnam who had first stopped in L.A. and were now heading back east to their homes, just in time for Christmas. Many passengers recognized Elvis, and he was cordial with everyone who said hello. Before the plane took off, one of the soldiers came up the aisle to stand next to Elvis and talk with him. He told Elvis what a big fan he was, and Elvis took an interest in the young guy, asking him where he was coming from and where he was heading. I saw that the two were having a very friendly conversation, and my attention drifted after a while. It was refocused when Elvis put a gentle elbow in my ribs. “Where’s that money?” “What money?” I asked. But I’d seen enough of Elvis’s gestures of generosity to suspect what was coming next. “The $500.” “That’s all we’ve got, Elvis.” “You don’t understand—this guy’s just come home from the war. He’s going home to see his family. I want him to have the money.” The soldier got the $500, and I was suddenly in the strange situation of traveling across the country with Elvis Presley, [alone and] absolutely penniless. Excerpt "Me and a Guy Named Elvis: My Lifelong Friendship with Elvis Presley" by Jerry Schilling (2006)

A little something extra to add to this story, something possibly easy to understand, but anyway. Think about today… it's becoming increasingly uncommon to pay for things with real money, we mostly use debit/credit cards - even our cell phones and watches can be used to pay for a purchase. Back in the days there were places that only accepted real currency as a form of payment - it was the 70s. Imagine being alone with Elvis Presley, a guy who wanted everything done as quickly and easily as it could be (TCB), wanting or needing to buy something and you, the only one responsible for him, not having the means to buy it and having to find a way to do it fast, out of nowhere! Jerry really wasn't in an easy position at that moment, but everything turned out just fine.

This is just for illustration purposes. Elvis' money clip.

[goatsandgangsters]

So we had lots of fun in Chicago, it was a really great time, we liked it there! 

UNTIL THE SINGLE WORST FLIGHT EXPERIENCE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE

it took 💫✨ 28 hours ✨💫

like, I fly multiple times a year and no hurricane or blizzard has EVER fucked up my day like this

so our original flight out of Chicago was Sunday, but bc of the storms every flight to NY from like noon onwards was delayed. and you know how delays are, every hour they push you back another hour, until you've wracked up Many Hours of delay

And finally, at like 9 pm, they canceled every flight to New York. This was at MINIMUM seven flights all cancelled. at 9 pm. with 7+ planes full of people now stranded 

And then the gate agents all left!! Didn't help rebook people, didn't answer any questions. Just left. Literally "not my problem, call customer service number." there was NO ONE in that entire airport To Help

Oh also fun fact: because the cancellation was due to ~weather, their policy is that they don't have to provide any overnight accommodations. For several planes full of stranded people. 

And there ARE no alternative flights because MANY PLANES OF PEOPLE all tried to rebook to the same place at once. There is not a SINGLE flight on Monday to any of the 3 New York area airports, or to Philly, or to those little airfields in Connecticut, or to Boston

There is absolutely nothing until Tuesday. It is Sunday. They are refusing to put anyone up in a hotel. Also it's Chicago on the night before the DNC, so good luck on last minute hotel reservations 

Finally, after an hour on hold, I get a (GENUINELY LOVELY, I love him) customer service guy who's like "I can get you back to New York tomorrow via three different flights" and when you've been stranded already for several hours that sounds like a recipe for further disaster. So instead we opt for a direct flight to DC the next morning and then spend additional money getting train tickets home from there

We are now left overnight in the airport with nothing but a $15 food voucher and those shitty tissue-paper airplane blankets (which, also, I had to walk to an entirely different terminal to get myself so.)

(There are also additional flights full of stranded New Yorkers who weren't even IN Chicago originally, they got rerouted mid-flight from other places and grounded, it is well past midnight and some of them aren't going to be able to get a flight out until WEDNESDAY)

We spend the night in the airport. I sleep for maybe 50 minutes. Do you know they vacuum airport terminals at really weird irregular intervals all night long? 

Also additional fun: I checked a bag. I am concerned about this. I express this concern to an employee who tells me to just track my bag in the app. The app says my bag is going to DC. I have doubts. I talk to the gate agent. He says the computer says my bag will go to DC. I still have doubts. 

I am correct. It does not go to DC. So I call the baggage helpline. I am on hold for an hour again. I finally get someone who tells me that my bag is still in Chicago and they won't mail it to my home address, but they WILL send it to my nearest airport and THAT airport can decide if they're going to mail it to me or not?? No, this doesn't sound right to me either. But fret not, because he put a NOTE in my file that an AIRPORT IN NEW YORK CITY should GIVE ME A CALL PERSONALLY when they receive my bag! Do you want to hold your breath, because I don't. 

So to recap:

Total trip time from door to door: 28 entire human hours

Hours of sleep: one.

18 of these 28 hours were spent in an airport and I no longer have any sense of reality

I also do not know where my bag is. I do not know how I will obtain my bag. It contains my all-time favorite shirts AND our gorgeous jstor tote bags that we got for free so like, this is somewhat Dire

I've had an hour of sleep 

I have not yet had the time to call and demand both a refund for my flight AND compensation for having to book additional expensive amtrak tickets just to get home because they couldn't get us any closer to New York thAN OUR NATION'S CAPITAL

I was told by the (genuinely lovely and ONLY helpful person in all this) customer service guy who rebooked me that I absolutely will be refunded. I am again not holding my breath, because I have been told many things and very few of them have been true

[crysta1ized]

a theory on ep11’s preview

firstly, if you’ve guessed/ theorized that non was still alive, you get 10 points!

if you also guessed that perth would help him (in that case, thanks to tee) you also get 10 points!

knowing that tee helped non escape, was definitely a plot twist. he basically lives at his uncle’s mercy, is forced to work for him and has to follow every single one of his orders so his father doesn’t die. which is a pretty shitty situation!

we saw previously that he showed guilt after non got busted for the fake accounts instead of him, but to help him escape from that very uncle? you’ll never fail to surprise me, tee!

after that, tee gives an envelope to non and tells him he’ll get him out of there.

now, what is in this envelope? my first thought was obviously money. but i also thought, what if it was a plane ticket? it’d be safer for non to get the hell out of bangkok (or even thailand) to be sure the uncle and his men could never get him. a one way flight, non leaving without looking back.

i think that with the help of perth, tee could’ve gathered enough money to pay a ticket. i mean, that would’ve benefited tee a whole lot too. non forever out of his hair, not causing any more problems. disappearing without a trace. his uncle thinking he got rid of the troublemaker.

but what happened to mr keng then?

firstly we have no idea of the extent of his injuries. we guessed that non’s were only bad enough to knock him out on the roof, but the uncle might as well have killed keng for good.

i mean, he was hit with a car, which is way worse than a few punches. in the best case scenario (for him, cause i want that bastard dead), he only got a few bruises, but the most logical one would be that his legs are broken, as well as a few ribs maybe (depending on how hard the car hit him).

if we assume he’s alive, like non (which i seriously doubt), i don’t think tee would’ve helped him at all. he’s already risking everything to save non, he wouldn’t try saving both, especially because keng doesn’t mean anything to him. he probably never even had a conversation with him.

so in my opinion, we won’t see the teacher ever again, unless he found another way to escape, such as being rescued by the police as his disappearance could’ve been noticed after some time.

now onto the fun part!

white is seen entering the arcade place, where we’ve already seen non & phee meeting up and making out at.

which means we’ll finally get teewhite whole’s backstory!

my depressing theory is that we’ll get a cute little montage of their love story, and they’ll show us how cute they are, with their little puppy love, opposites attract shit just to snatch it from us right after.

mark my words, they’ll make us love teewhite and after those little flashbacks with bright colors that distracted us for a moment, we’ll get back to our depressing and dark present.

4 possibilities after that:

best case scenario: while we get a contrast between the past and how in love they were and acted, nothing terrible happens. tee explains to the group what was revealed to the viewer in the flashbacks, that he ended up helping non and that he’s still alive. he righted his wrongs and while white is shaken up, he’s glad tee isn’t just a bully who guilt tripped a kid into money laundering, he did feel guilt and saved him from his uncle.

same as above, tee reveals everything to the group but white doesn’t forgive him. he feels betrayed and mad that tee hid that from him for so long. in white’s eyes, tee is no longer someone he can trust, or hide behind.

tee dies

white dies

while i believe those 2 last options can happen, i don’t think they’d happen at that moment. tee’s reveal scene will probably be at the beginning of the episode while the following one with phee & new may happen soon after, which is why those 2 options seem less likely to happen then.

new is clearly urging phee on to shoot.

but how? in the last scene of ep10, fluke is the one who has it and he clearly doesn’t want to let it go. he let white out of his grasp and is now pointing it at tee.

but fluke is clearly out of it, and is the one suffering the most from hallucinations, which made him shoot top even though his only principle was clearly to never act, to keep his hands clean of anything that could prevent him of becoming a doctor. too late now!

someone could take advantage of his delirious state and while he’s distracted, take the gun from him, like white, who’s on the ground, kinda behind fluke and now out of his sight. which is when phee could take the gun, as he’s the unofficial new leader and appears trustworthy as he just exposed new.

but who is phee pointing the gun at?

i think it’s most likely fluke. he’s clearly losing his mind and the hallucinations are making him aggressive, like top. which is why they may have to kill him before he kills someone else.

phee clearly wants to make the right decision, surely wants to kill him or just hurt him because fluke is an active threat. but tan just wants to see them all gone! he clearly has nothing to lose left, now that phee exposed him, this is his last chance to avenge his brother.

alternative theory:

phee might be pointing the gun at someone else.

according to how tee’s revelation ends, especially how non’s story ends, something might happen after that.

phee wouldn’t be pointing the gun at someone who didn’t deserve it, who wasn’t a threat to the group.

so why would it be tee? in my opinion, non escaped the country, end of story. but maybe something happened to him just before he could get out. then new would get mad at tee, blaming him. tee fights him. then he would represent a threat. or maybe the hallucinations come back and he gets violent.

then of course new would be happy to see phee shoot tee, who was the whole reason non even got involved with dangerous mafia shit in the first place.

the last scene is new, lighting a cigarette.

why would he be smoking in the middle of all this? like he has time to do that?

maybe it’s just a meaningless scene they’re throwing in the preview so they don’t have to spoil too much stuff.

but, still, new is the only one who's going through with his plan, and he wouldn’t waste time on lighting a cigarette! unless it’s truly chaos, and like we know, he smokes to de-stress.

creepily, when i saw the scene the first time, i thought ‘this is his last cigarette. they’re holding him at gunpoint and they allow him to smoke one last time before they pull the trigger’ because he’s clearly shivering. but that may be way too far as i don’t think any of them would shoot anyone in cold blood if they weren’t actively threatened.

but a more plausible theory would be that they’re forcing him to smoke. in the scene where new is urging phee on to shoot, phee looks at him ‘like, what the fuck?’ like he’s not liking new telling him what to do at all.

maybe then, phee doesn’t shoot anyone, not fluke, not tee, but instead turns on new and points the gun at him. maybe phee really doesn’t want any kind of revenge for non anymore as his brother became too violent for his liking. but phee wouldn’t shoot new.

he could however hold him at gunpoint, and force him to smoke one of the drugged cigarettes, one with an X. maybe so he isn’t an active threat to them anymore, urging them to kill each other and to cause more chaos. they’d be on equal ground as he’d start hallucinating too.

what do you think?

[stayandot8]

Heart and Seoul

Genre: tooth-aching fluff

Relationship type: married nonidol!Chan x fem reader

Important Contents: thank you the request friend :) I immediately got an idea when you sent this to me and I'm sorry it took so long to write. I hope you like it.

request can be seen here.

WC: 1.8k

masterlist

Hubby: Guess what I got???

A picture arrived a second later of three plane tickets, all with the same destination: Seoul, South Korea. A flash of shock hit me and my fingers worked faster than my brain could process. 

“Isn’t it awesome?! My parents helped pay for them so don’t worry, I didn’t spend too much money. Well, not yet anyways. I’m going to buy a snow suit for Celeste because she’s never seen snow before and she’ll want to play in it because if she’s anything like me but that’s beside the point!” Chris was so excited and when he was excited, he rambled about everything and anything. A change that occurred after he became a dad, but a welcome one at that. Getting him to share his feelings wasn’t too too hard when I came along, but ever since his daughter was born, he was a babbling mess. A good change, really. After five years, he’d really mellowed out with her safety. She had too many clothes to begin with with the overexcitement of her arrival from her uncles, but now she was down to only a few new outfits a week, and now he at least acted like he was thinking about it when he changed his mind from a ‘no’ to a ‘yes’. He couldn’t deny his little girl anything. 

“Chris, she has snow clothes. Her grandmother bought some for her the last time we went to Korea in the winter just in case it snowed, which she’s still upset about.”

“I know, the weather app is stupid, they never know anything.”

“Chris! She has enough clothes! We’re going to have to give her our master closet if you keep buying her more things!” He was quiet to this, like he was actually thinking about the logistics of it. “Babe, she’s not getting our closet.”

“I know!”

“You were thinking about it though.”

“...Maybe. Then I was thinking about everything else I could buy her with all that room.”

“Chris…” I said warningly. 

“I’m done, I’m done. She’s not getting our closet.”

“Good.”

“But she is getting a snow suit. Okay, love you, bye!” I clutched my phone as he hung up, shaking my head and wondering where in the world he was going to put one more thing she didn’t need. It wasn’t like he was buying nonsense, it was just that he couldn’t tell her no if she really wanted something. He was a good dad like that. 

Me: Christmas with the uncles sounds good :) 

Hubby: Start packing. We leave in three days :) 

Me: Won’t mom be upset we won’t be in Sydney for the holiday?

Hubby: My mom will be fine, she’s used to holidays without me. 

Me: Don’t remind me 

Hubby: It’s yours we have to worry about. 

It was true, I was worried that my mother would be upset about a holiday without her grandchild. She loved them more than anything, cherished her truly. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt about it. 

Hubby: We’ll tell her together. We’re adults now, we can choose to spend the holidays wherever we like. 

Always reading my mind, my husband. 

The front door opened and shut, letting in the Sydney breeze along with it and a head of dark hair waltzed right in. Heading straight for the fridge, she reached for a small bag of apple slices just out of her reach. 

“Mommy!”

“Yes, baby, do you need some help?” I was already off my stool at the kitchen island and heading towards her. 

“Yes please!” She turned her shining eyes towards me, just as warm and comforting as her father’s. Her smile pushed her round cheeks upwards toward her eyes, just like his. Chan said she had my nose and he was more thankful for that than anything. He hated his nose. 

She was still reaching for the bag, knocking a bottle of water to the floor. “Whoops! I’ll get it Mommy.”

“Oh thank you Cece, that was very helpful of you.” She loved hearing these things, loved hearing how she helped someone. Anyone. More of her father’s features shining through, she just loved to help in any way she could. I opened the bag and handed it to her. “There you go, baby .Do you want to watch some TV before your grandmas and grandpas come over for dinner?” 

Once in a while, all the grandparents came over for dinner to spend time with the three of us. They wanted to see their Cece before all the holiday craziness came and they had to get busy with everything else that came with the holidays. 

With the house smelling like grilled meat and rice, the doorbell rang like chimes in the wind, a touch from Chris when we bought the house. Cece ran to the door, yelling “I got it, I got it!” She opened the door to both sets of grandparents flinging their arms wide open at the sight of her at the door, her red sparkly dress swinging as she lept for them. They hugged her, bags swinging from their arms as all four of them came around her. 

I was luckier than most with my in-laws. They had welcomed me with the most open of arms into their family and made me feel like a part of the family, like they had always been there just waiting for me. My parents got along with them, his mother bonding with mine over their love of plants and house decor. Our fathers got along with sports, the only issue ever being who was paying for the wedding (they both wanted to pay for it). They loved me and I loved them. I knew this situation wasn’t common, so I cherished it whenever they all came together. 

“Cece, are you going to let them come in?” I laughed while they hugged her, knowing they wouldn't let go until she did. 

“Oh, it’s fine, she’s fine.” Chris’s mom said while the others were putting their belongings in the hall closet. She picked up her favorite grandchild and held her until she arrived in the living room with all her toys neatly stacked. Celeste had a habit that she picked up from her father of finding joy in organization. It had to come from him because it definitely did not come from me.

As the other grandparents gathered around Cece on the floor, my dad followed me out the back door to find Chris hard at work grilling. They hugged and we watched Chris grill. 

“How’s the producing business, Chris?” Neither took their eyes off the meat.

“It’s good! Keeps me busy, but I get to meet celebrities so it has it’s perks. And the company is still good with letting me off for time with Cece. So I can’t complain.”

“That’s because you still work on your days off. I still haven’t been able to stop him.”

I sighed and gave Chan’s back a reproachful look. My dad chuckled. 

“Honey, you haven’t been able to stop him from working since you started dating. Remember Valentine’s Day a couple years ago?”

“Hey!” Chan finally turned around, mouth open in mock shock. “You said you were okay! You know how hard it was to get Tiger JK to actually sit down and work with me.”

“I do! And I’m still proud you managed to get it done in time.” I smiled and took his free hand that wasn’t holding a giant pair of tongs. “That doesn’t mean I can’t be a little salty that you had to miss our second Valentines together.” His eyes squinted. 

“And have I made it up to you every year since?” He cocked his eyebrow. 

“I need a beer! Anybody else?” My dad quickly jumped up to head back inside for said refreshment. I shot Chan a smirk. 

“Was that necessary?”

“Hey, he could’ve done the math. Cece was born in November.” I rolled my eyes. His tone suddenly got serious. “Do you want to tell them now or after we eat?”

“After. Let them enjoy their time with her now.”

*

“You what?!”

The plates were cleared, Cece was passed out on the couch watching her favorite show, and the news had just come out. My mother, ever the drama queen, was fanning herself from the news. My father was helping her, if only to save himself the pain of a scolding from her later. 

“Well, they’re adults now, honey. They can do what they like.”

“But they’re taking her for the holidays too, Richard. Did you think about that?”

“Yes I did. They’ll be fine, they’ll be back afterwards.”

“And besides,” Chan’s mom interjected. “You can spend it with us! We can get wine-drunk and celebrate Christmas ourselves without the kids.”

Chris grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers. My mother just watched us smile at each other. 

“We miss Korea, mom. And Christmas is such a wonderful time of year, I just think this year we want to spend it differently. We’ll pick you up some of your favorite face cream while we’re there, too.”

“So the trip won’t be a total waste for you!” Chris tried to placate her, but her face remained unchanged. “Alright Mom, what about this: when we get back, you guys can have Celeste for a whole weekend, just her and you.” She perked up at that.

“Friday to Monday?”

“You can even bring her back Monday night.” Chris, ever the diplomat. A rush of pride went through me. My mom thought about it for a moment. 

“Deal.” 

Chris’s dad piped in.

“What about us?!”

*

Celeste did really well for her first plane ride. We arrived at the Incheon Airport around noon, but we didn’t know what awaited us outside until we stepped outside to our car waiting to take us to our hotel. Driven by Hyunjin with a passenger seat occupied by Felix, they waved us over before climbing out of the car to fling their arms open for Celeste, who stopped halfway to them, noticing the white fluff all around. 

“Daddy, what’s that?” she asked, her voice dripping in wonder. Her eyes shining with pure curiosity, she ignored her uncle’s waiting arms to hold her arms out to catch the falling flakes. They disappeared as quickly as they had landed in her hand, but that didn’t stop her from trying to catch all of the snowflakes in her immediate vicinity. She jumped and reached, trying to reach the clouds they were falling from. This insanely cute action was met with laughter from all angles, and before she knew it, she was hoisted into the air by her uncle to get a closer look. 

Chris and I stood by and let them catch up and enjoy the cold.

“She’s so cute. She takes after you, you know.” I placed a hand on my stomach. 

“I dunno. Maybe this one will be just as cute.”

[luis-serra-kennedy]

Rockstar/Actor!Luis AU Masterlist

This is a self indulgent AU where Luis is a cringe fail loser starving artist musician who knows Leon because he's the receptionist at a recording studio. Leon had a hate crush on Luis for years, but after one conversation he learns there's a little more depth to Luis than he thought.

And eventually Luis does get his big break, with a hugely successful album that nets him a Grammy.

Main AU

oh my god, it's my life, what am I doing kicking at the foundation?

After ten years in America trying to break through into the music industry with absolutely 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 to show for it, Luis is close to finally swallowing his pride and admitting to himself that he's a failiure and all his music is shit. Admitting to himself he's wasted his entire adult life chasing this unattainable dream and now has to start from scratch. Going home to admit to his grandfather that he should have listened to his warnings about not pursuing music as a career, and gone to university instead of joining a band. He gets as far as setting aside money for the plane ticket, before someone changes his mind.

Success Hasn't Spoiled Me Yet

Luis Serra is not an asshole. He is gone, but he's coming back. And he fed Leon's cat.

wakin' up blind with the house on fire

❝Well, I agree the timing isn't really ideal, but… That doesn't mean we can't want it anyway,” Luis cautiously places a hand on top of Leon's. “You do want it, right? That's why you're so scared, my career is just taking off, you know I have lots of baggage and worry about money, babies need a lot of money, having one would impact my career. So you think I'll be mad that you want to lock me down by bringing a baby into it. But it's okay, there wasn't anything for you to be scared of. I'm not upset. Not at all. I want it too. If you can handle another few months on your own, then we can do this. Easy.❞ OR Luis has to learn to balance being a touring rockstar and expectant father.

Spin-off AU

This one is just an AU of an AU. It splits off from the third chapter of the main AU's first fic. Most of the same things happen, just on a slightly different timeline and in slightly different ways. The biggest difference is that Luis's grandfather does not get sick and die in the spin-off AU. But Luis still has his album blow up, Leon still gets pregnant with twins accidentally, Luis still goes on tour, etc.

Take Me Away With You

Having a bit of an internal crisis over his music career and feeling like a sellout, Luis asks to be taken away from the party for a motorcycle ride with Leon. He gets a lot more out of it than he bargained for. OR Luis gets hard on the back of Leon's motorcycle and Leon gets 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘴. OR An alternate, smuttier version of the third chapter of my fic oh my god, it's my life, what am I doing kicking at the foundation?

Homewrecker Luis AU

While Luis is still a musician/actor and Leon is still a receptionist at the studio Luis records at, this one is overall very different to the others. Leon is in a toxic abusive dumpster fire of a relationship with Krauser. He ends up giving into Luis's flirtations and cheating on Krauser with him. Having lacked any relationship experience and been more generally naive when he first moved to LA, Leon fully believed that his relationship with Krauser was normal and all men would treat him like that, it was the best he could possibly get. But the way Luis treats him during their affair shows him there may be greener grasses after all…

Just A Little Sexual Tension (under the guise of love)

Are you really a homewrecker if the “home” you're wrecking is more of a toxic dumpster fire? OR Leon doesn't realize he's in a toxic relationship and his boyfriend is bad in bed until he gets a taste of Luis.

playlists

the mixtape Leon listens to when he's crying about Luis

songs about Leon

[hyun-xxe]

It started on an Airplane (Slight!Yan!TXT X F! Reader)

summary: There is always a .00000001% chance you meet a celebrity on an average day, its even more rare that you run into them on the plane, however its even more rarer when you just so happen to sit next to them. You caught their attention and they're hooked.

warnings: slight yandere tendencies, txt are lowkey OOC bc idek, obsession, they don't go too far, might be a part 2

You never really believed in fated chances growing up, it all seemed so childish to you. How could it be possible that something ever so rare could even come true? Where was the science in this?

However, maybe it does exist to those who never really thought it was true since this was karmas way of saying "Ha dumb Bitch it is real!" because somehow, your ticket to your way back home got mixed up in the midst of things which is where you are at right now.

You were in Korea with some friends for about 3 weeks just for the vacation of it after graduating from High School. It was a nice retreat away from everything and you would honestly consider visiting again. However, now coming back home and hearing that only your ticket out of your four friends somehow got misplaced made you nervous and annoyed.

"We are really sorry about that maam." the worker explained, bowing to a 90 degree angle.

You sighed as you shook your head- since you dont understand Korean, the conversation was going a lot longer than you hoped for and you didn't want to sound like an asshole asking for someone who speaks English.

Bringing out your phone, you typed in what you are going to say, "It's alright, I understand how busy you are. However, I was wondering if there is anyone here that speaks english as I am not the best with korean."

The lady nodded her head in understanding and walked off to get the manager. You turned to your friends who sent you apologetic looks your way, "Well, at least this happened at the end and not the beginning, right?" you tried laughing it off.

Cherry, your friend, walked up to give you a tight hug, "I'm sorry Y/N, this trip was your gift and somehow this happens to you." she says as she releases you, "Are you sure you don't want to trade tickets? None of us mind at all."

You shook your head, "Thanks for the offer, but that wouldn't sit right with me. You guys go ahead and head to your gate, I don't want to make y'all late." you usher them off, sending them smiles. but once they left your smile changed.

"Hello maam, I heard what happened and I just wanted to apologize on behalf of our ignorance, we didn't realize this was going to happen at all." he bowed.

Turning around, you notice he was slightly younger, maybe aorund his mid twenties. He also looked nowhere near a regular employee, but you didn't feel like questioning him, after all, he was the only one you could understand.

"Thanks for apologizing, but I just really want to know how you guys can resolve this? I really need to head home today." you say.

He walks up to a computer and types something up, "Ok, and where are you heading to?" he asked, peering over the top of the computer.

"Calistoga, California." you answer.

Typing in your response, he hums as he searches through, "Ok, I am seeing some planes that leave to Dallas Texas, then to LA, then after that to your home town. Would that be alright?"

You thought for a moment, while it wasnt the same overlay as your friends, you decided to take it quickly before someone else does. You were running low on money and couldn't really afford staying another night, "Yes! That's perfect!"

The manager smiles and types some more, "Since it was a mess up on our end, there is no need to worry about the cost, it is covered completely as well as any hotels you need to stay at in Dallas or LA." a ticket prints up and he hands it over to you, "Your plane leaves in 30 minutes and we have upgraded you to business class."

Taking the ticket, you couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. Hearing "free" and "upgrade" in one sentence made you instantly forget about being angry.

"Thank you so much, this means a lot to me!" you say and pick up your carry on. As you walked through the crowd, you made sure to hold onto that ticket as tightly as you could, praying that it doesn't somehow slip from your fingers.

When you ended up in front of your gate, you plopped down on the seat and texted your friends that the manager found a plane for you, but that you were going to be in a different overlay than them.

it didn't really matter since all of you were ending up in the same town anyways and they promised to pick you up from the airport if they land first. You were happy when your group was called as all the worry and stress you were facing is finally gone and done away with - you were finally heading home to see your family and boy did you have stories to tell them.

Since you were so lost in mind, the bright light flashing around you almost turned your fight or flight senses on. You thought it was by mistake and opened your eyes, only to get blinded once again multiple times. "What the fuck is happening?" you whispered and squinted your eyes to get a better look.

Across from you, standing behind a red rope, were many people screaming and jumping, while a lot of other people had huge cameras taking bright ass pictures. It was obvious a celebrity was here, but you didn't know who nor care to know - all you wanted was away from these bright lights!

You placed on your hat and sunglasses as you walked up to the terminal to show the people your ticket. when they approved it, you quickly walked through to get away from all that yelling. Since they were speaking Korean, you couldn't understand what they were yelling for but once you find that celebrity, you were going to give them a mean look for disturbing your peace.

When you boarded the plane, you looked for your seat number and saw that the two other seats next to yours were completely empty and that made you happy when you realized that maybe you wouldn't have anyone annoying around you.

Placing your bag under your seat, you stretched and brought out your neck pillow to start your nap. It was just so that before you dozed off, you felt the presence of two people near you, whispering amongst each other.

You sighed but stayed silent, not wanting to answer any of their questions. If they had any, they can gladly ask an attendant and leave you the fuck alone.

But, usually not many good things happen all at once, as you felt a hand on your shoulder, "excuse me," the voice rang out, "We were wondering something."

Not bothering to look up, you just answer, "Yes?"

The man cleared his throat and you can tell he was nervous, "Can my friend have the aisle? He gets easily plane sick so having the aisle seat gives him better access to the toilet."

All you needed to hear was sickness and toilet so you grabbed your bag and scooted down to the window. They can gladly have that seat if you didn't have to be near the vomitting maddness.

When the plane took off, you tried your best to sleep in every head positions you can imagine, but the feeling of a stranger next to you made it difficult to do so.

You brought out your phone to pick out a movie and thats when you felt another hand on your shoulder. Cursing in your head, you turned around, but your eyes were closed shut so you didn't have to deal with seeing their face.

"Yes? Is there anything wrong?" you asked.

"S-sorry," he says, "I just noticed your phone case and saw the PC in the back. You're a fan of them?"

Thats when things started to awake in your mind, the man was speaking good english which didn't register in your mind until now, but also they immediately noticed your phone case. during the entire duration of your trip, you never had your PC in your phone as you were scared people were going to think you were a Koreaboo, but you done messed up now.

"Uh," you nervously say, "Yeah ahaha, I do like their music a lot." you trace the picture, then turn to look at them, "Do you like their mu-"

You immediately shut up and just stared at the person in front of you who was smiling ear to ear at your reaction. Taking off your sunglasses, you thought you were going crazy, until your eyes actually focused.

"Holy shit, you're Yeonjun." you whisper, eyes still wide open from the shock you're currently experiencing. After saying his name, you look around to make sure no one heard you.

"Holy shit, you're fucking Yeonjun and yet we are on the same flight??"

The man, Yeonjun, laughed whole heartily, and nodded his head, "Yes, I am Choi Yeonjun. However, I am sad I'm not the one on your phone case, what a bummer. What does Taehyun have that I don't?"

You can clearly hear the playfulness dripping from his tongue but it still made you jump a bit. Scratching the back of your neck, you shrugged your shoulders, "What can I say, it just so happened to be." you look anywhere but him, "I'm really sorry that I took this seat, was another member suppose to sit here?"

He shakes his head, "No, we knew we were gonna be sitting seperately, so there is no need."

That put you a little at ease, but you still felt bad and couldn't help but overthink, "If you're uncomfortable, you can be honest and I can sit somewhere else."

Yeonjun waves off your worry, "No need for that either! Look, if it wasn't ok, I would've called to have us switch before the plane took off. So, its ok."

As he finishes his sentence, another man comes up and sits in the aisle seat, making your cheeks heat up in realization that the fucking Taehyun was sitting in your aisle.

"ooo, guess what Taehyun!" Yeonjun taps his shoulder in excitement and points at you, "Shes a MOA!" he says.

You feel Taehyun's eyes bore into yours and you never felt so vulnerable except in that moment. His eyes went everywhere from your eyes, to your hair, nose, lips, and even chest. Was he- no Y/N you can't think that, thats delusion right there.

"No way! Its nice meeting fans here! Whats your name?" He asks, staring intensely into your eyes.

You swear you felt your heart drop to your lungs as you answer, "Y/N." you say, plain and simple.

They both smile to each other then to you, "What a beautiful name you have." Yeonjun exclaims, "Obviously you already know our name." he chuckles.

A part of you wanted to lavish in this moment, but another part wanted to switch seats so bad. You would be happy meeting a celebrity you look up to, but why was your gut feeling say otherwise?

Oh shut up Y/N, how could you possibly even go that route when they are insanely nice to everyone they meet?

However, the words of your father nagged in your head, "You don't truly no someone unless they are behind closed doors. To others, they are the sweetest. To some, they are the devil in disguise."

You wanted to laugh at that thought, why were you suddenly thinking of that right now? Yeah, you didn't know them personally, but there wasn't any scandals going on with them, so what is there to worry about?

"Hello? Are you ok?" Taehyun asked, finally bringing you back to reality.

Finally sensing that you were spacing out, you apologized. "I'm sorry! I didn't realize I was spacing out, it just happens here and there." you chuckle, sitting back in your seat a bit more.

They both laugh at your response, "No worries, we all do that. Anyways, we were just asking where you're from."

That question surprised you - why were they curious about you? A part of you initially thought you three would exchange greetings and you would go back to sitting awkwardly next to Yeonjun while you watched a movie. But, thinking about it more and making excuses, they could just be acting nice in case you were going to post about this.

"I am from california." you answer with a smile.

Yeonjun perked up at your response, "Really? Which city?" he questioned.

You don't know why it took you a while to answer or why you hesitated, but you responded, "Calistoga."

Taehyun hummed as he was in thought, "Yeah, I never heard of that city, understandable since I dont live here." he says.

You let out an awkward chuckle, "Yeah, we aren't known that much there, but its really beautiful."

Yeonjun turned to his member, "We should try and set a tour date there, wouldn't that be sick!?"

That made you weirded out a bit, but not enough to ask some questions. Yeah, your gut feeling was saying that something was up, but a bigger part of you (your heart) was saying otherwise. It was a harmless question and there was no need for you to get skeptical.

"You do know we are going on tour, right?" Yeonjun asks you, leaning in a little closer than last time.

You kind of lean back a little, creating some space between you both, "Yeah I heard! It sounds exciting!" you say, smiling at the both of them.

"Did you get tickets yet?"

Sighing, you shake your head, "Sadly not, I don't really have much money since I chose to travel to Korea." you say.

Yeonjun leaned even closer, gasping in your face, "What!?? No tickets at all!???! You have to go though!" he whines, full lips doing a cute pout.

"I know I really wanted to," you answer, carefully leaning back a little so to not make it obvious, "but I have bills to pay so it just didn't work out. Maybe next time though!" you do a little dance with your hands, hoping to make them see your point and understand, but they didn't.

Taehyun stood up and walked off without saying a word and it weirded you out for a moment but you dropped it. When he came back, he had something in hand.

"Here, have these." he hands it to you.

Taking it, your eyes widened once again as you realized what it was. VIP tickets to early access and backstage. You couldn't believe what you were seeing and it made your inner MOA scream with joy. However, there was still some sense in you.

"I feel bad taking these," you say shyly and tried handing it back, "You should give these to a MOA that hasn't attended yet, this would make their day!"

Taehyun refused to take it back and crossed his arms, "Yes, and that MOA is you. Please, just show up! It'll be so much fun!"

You still hesitated as you looked over the ticket. This was one of the expensive ones while you didn't want to seem ungrateful, you also didn't want to seem greedy.

"Come on," Yeonjun butts in, wrapping his arm around your shoulder which made you jump in surprise, "Just give in already. He's your bias after all, how can you say no?"

Taehyun perked up at the mention of him being your bias.

"Really?" he points to himself, "I am your bias?"

Your cheeks burn at the mention and you nodded your head, mentally wanting to shove Yeonjun for mentioning it.

"See, that should make you want to go even more." he winks at you, now also leaning towards your body.

Everything felt so weird and wrong at the same time. A celebrity that everyone adored and loved was invading a girls personal space even after you backed up constantly. Maybe it was by accident? You dont know how many times you can make excuses for them, but they are nice enough to give you free tickets.

"You're right, thank you!" you smile while getting out of Yeonjun's grasp to put the ticket in your bag. When you looked back up, you could've sworn you saw Yeonjun give an annoyed look but you were probably overthinking.

"Uhm, sorry I need to use the bathroom." You say, standing up from your seat.

Taehyun stood up to let you out and you were waiting for Yeonjun, but he just sat still, not moving a muscle. Not wanting to be annoying, you walked sideways out of the aisle.

It felt awkward since you didn't want to invade his space, but when you felt something grazed your butt, you jumped. Looking back, you see Yeonjun give you a sly smile before turning on his phone.

Did he just-

"Be safe!" Taehyun smiles as he sits back down, still looking intently at you.

You could only feel your head nod as you made your way to the bathrooms. Everything was happening so fast and you couldn't tell whats real and whats not. All you need right now is to use the bathroom and unwind.

As you finished your business, a part of you wanted to remain in the bathroom during the entire duration of the flight, but you had three hours left and it just wouldn't be very comfortable in here.

Don't over think Y/N, it was probably on accident. Why would they be interested in you? You're just a regular person while they can get any girl they want

Exiting the bathroom with thoughts swirling around, you didn't notice someone standing right next to the door, eagerly waiting for you to get out.

"There she is!" he said loudly, walking up to your form.

Your head whipped up as you notice another member of the group standing before you in all his glory- Beomgyu. His black hair bouncing and eyes sparkling as they ranked over your body.

"You're the girl Taehyun told me about!" he smiles, his accent thick as he spoke, "Sorry, I still am learning English, but I can conversate with you as much as I can!"

He seemed so happy and energetic, you would feel horrible if you listened to your gut feeling and cut the conversation short.

"Oh, he talked about me?" you asked, confusion clear on your face, "I didn't know that! It's nice to meet you as well!"

Beomgyu took a moment to register what you said, trying his best to translate it. "He says you're really funny and calm, especially since they're bother you a lot," he chuckles, "I told him we should just keep you and take you with us everywhere!"

You titled your head, trying to understand the last part he said in Korean and you wanted to ask, but you felt bad since he was learning English.

"Yeah, well I try to be funny I guess, but I should head back to my seat, I don't want to block the door for others." you smile, walking away from him, but instead of going back to his seat, he takes your hand and drags you along with him.

On instinct, you swatted his hand away and it shocked both of you and it made you feel really guilty, "I- I'm sorry! It was just a reflex, I didn't mean to hit you." the words left your mouth as you closed your eyes and pleaded with him.

He just laughs and holds your hand once again, "Don't say sorry! It's ok, I sorry, ok?" Beomgyu says, cursing himself as he realized he messed up on his English. "Follow me!"

You allowed him to lead you to his seat where you spotted the last two remaining members who were conversing with each other. Once they noticed your presence, they stopped and turned around.

Never in your life have you met this many hot guys in one moment and it reminded you to thank God for this privilege.

"Guys, this is the pretty girl they were telling us about! Isn't she gorgeous?" Beomgyu turns and gives you a hungry look, "She's also very fiesty! I told Taehyun we should keep her, but he didn't give us the green light!"

Soobin sighed and hit his forehead, "Did you just say that out loud? Beomgyu, others can hear!"

Kai waves off Soobin's worry, "don't be scared, I heard she doesn't understand Korean, besides everyone here in first class works for us, they don't question anything."

It felt awkward for you to be there since you couldn't understand what they were saying. You felt like you were intruding in on their conversation.

"It's nice to finally meet you!" Kai smiles, flashing his bright teeth, "You're even prettier in person." he stands up and walks toward you.

Before, it was obvious that Kai was a pretty tall dude, but in person and standing in front of you, it made you feel like inferior in his presence.

"Oh, thank you." you smile and look around you, hoping he wouldn't see the blush that was forming on your cheeks (if your skin is darker, then the sentence would be changed to "you smile and look around you, hoping to ease the heat forming on your cheeks")

Soobin also stood up and thats when you really felt short - that man was insanely tall and intimidating, even though you've seen him act adorable over edits and their shows, it was still very surprising. He didn't say much and instead just looked you up and down, as if he didn't have any shame.

"Nice to meet you." he says, smiling from ear to ear.

His smile could light up a goddamn room and it made you almost bias him instead. However, seeing that you didn't know what to say, you started walking backwards and wave them goodbye.

"Well I should really return to my seat, but it was really nice talking to you guys!"

With that, you were expecting them to say goodbye as well, but when Kai walked up and take your hand, you were shocked.

Whats with them always touching me? you thought to yourself, looking down at his hand clasp over yours, soft but firm enough to keep you still.

"Don't go yet! We barely talked! Its our turn to talk to you now. Taehyun said how amazing you smelled and oh my its making me go crazy." Kai mutters the last part, even though he said it in Korean, he didnt want the others to overhear and snatch her from him.

"W-well, I think we are in the way of others, I - I feel pretty bad." you stutter, eyes still stuck on his hand holding yours.

He holds it tighter and pulls you closer, causing you to back your face away from his. Even though you really liked the group, it doesn't give them the right to invade your personal space like this.

"No worries!" he exclaims, "They dont mind, if they did they can talk to our managers!"

The way he explains thing had a tone to it, a tone you didn't really like and now that you really thought of it, the way they all were made you weird. The constant stares with their eyes ranking over your body, the unwanted touches and dragging from place to place - it was all too much.

Yeah, you were lucky enough to meet them - just about anyone would kill to be in your position, but this entire thing made you really uncomfortable, no matter how much excuses you give to them.

Slowly, but nicely, you took your hand out of his grasp and gave them an awkward smile. "I understand, but I should really get back to my seat." you say, "Nice meeting you all!"

As you turned around, you wish you could've saw the way their faces fell from excitement, to annoyance. It wasn't the fact that you're walking away from them, it was the fact that you're going back on the other side of the plane, away from them.

Making your way, you tried not to turn and look at them again, you just wanted to keep your head up high and imagine yourself meeting your friends again at the airport. You would finally be away from them and that thought made you happy.

However, that excitement didn't last long as you felt yourself being pulled away into an unknown room. A scream was trying to leave your mouth, but a hand covered it in time. You struggled for a bit before they released and turned you to face them.

There, in front of you smiling, was Yeonjun. It was as if he didnt even feel bad for scaring you like this and it made you mad and you couldn't take it.

"Ok, I had it!" you yell out of frustration, "I am grateful I met you guys, I love your music and everything, but I am tired of this. Everything about this - the way you all look at me, the little touches and the ranking of your eyes over my body makes me uncomfortable!" You pointed a finger at him, "I especially don't appreciate you dragging me away without asking, I am tired of it! All of you guys need to leave me alone or I will call security."

You went to open the door, but felt a force prevent you from doing so. Feeling your heart drop in your stomach and breath fasten, you tried your hardest jiggling the handle, yet nothing happened. "P-please, open the door! This is not appropriate."

Yeonjun kept silent and just walked up to your shaking figure, eyes ranking over your body again. He lowered down to your level and carassed your cheeks. "You're right, you should be grateful." he whispers, "We don't usually give any of our fans this special attention, yet here you are. I don't know what you did, but once you catch our attention, its not fair to let it go as if it was nothing.:

His lips were dangerously close to your face as you felt his hot breath fan over you. "As much as I appreciate honesty, I don't like the sass and disrespect. If we want to touch you," his hand goes to your hips, "We can touch you. If I want to kiss you, I am allowed to."

Suddenly, and without warning, his lips met yours in a surprise attack. Your eyes widened as you realized what was happening - you were being kissed against your will.

You kicked up your legs and failed your hands around to get him away. Not caring if others can hear, you tried gripping his hair hard enough to make him yelp, but that did the complete opposite.

A moan escaped his lips as he gripped your hips tighter and closer, "Yeah, just like that baby, that felt amazing." he moaned again and kissed your lips.

The feeling of disgust entered your body as you stopped holding his hair and tried pushing him away. However you knew nothing would work, he is way taller than you and had more muscles than you could ever imagine.

When he stopped kissing you, he held your wrist and buried his head in your neck, "Gosh how I can go longer kissing and touching you, but people are gonna get suspicious. We should head back."

You were still frozen in place as no words could escape your mouth. Everything stopped in place and you refused to believe you were taken advantage of. When you arrived home, you were going to burn the clothes off your body and scrub your lips until you had no feeling in them.

Right now, however, you need to play your cards right so you could get out of there. The time on your watch indicated that you were gonna land in an hour, so that gives you enough time to think of an escape route.

A knock sounded throughout the room and the door opened which caused hope to rise in you as you thought of a plan to immediately ask the person for help. But, the person who popped their head in was going to be no help as it was their other member Taehyun.

"Hey uhm-" he looks around to both of you, "Is it my turn with her now? We only have an hour until we land and the others want their turn as well."

You should've moved seats when you had the chance.

[miniimapp]

Hello! Could you write some x reader headcanons for Z? Like you did for Jesse and Robaire, I think…

Thanks!

Gen ;; Fluff - Headcanons

Warnings ;; no ??

Proofread + Edited ;; this is a decoration at best bfr

Auth. Note ;; i love writing for Z so much i acc can't plsssss

also kinda feel like some cave creature that awakes from hibernation once a month to drop only the goofiest of headcanons.. i love it

enjoy !!

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Z is definitely a silent supporter type of partner

like,, you know he's right there with you no matter what

he's a very solid presence, someone you can definitely lean on

he's not particularly big on words,, Z is definitely more of an actions type of person,, whether that be acts of service or physical touch,, he's much more comfortable in that realm of expression

hey man,, even gift giving is right up his alley

he finds actions speak louder than words and gifts allow him to show just how much he knows you,, how much he listens,, and how much he cares

my man is meticulous with the details

if he's going all out, he's going all out

be prepared too bc he's got the money to go crazy with and all

im just saying,, if you happen to mention a dream location to visit one day, don't be surprised if at the nexlarest opportunity, Z is handing you some plane tickets and a full itinerary

oh,, but every now and then ??

mans becomes a poet

i'm saying smooth talking,, jaw dropping,, heart stopping

(i hope you read that with emphasis)

let me say it again so you get it all:

smooth talking,,

jaw dropping,,

heart STOPPING !!

never met nobody like you frfr

can't even try to keep your swooning to yourself, my man is smooth as butter

(like a criminal undercover)

and you know my man ain't the biggest social media user

i've told you before, his energy is major tumblr lurker

(and honestly wouldn't be surprised if he lurks on reddit to,, bet he lives to read all the drama going down on aita)

but like i say, he's 100% got a private account that goes crazy !!

im saying the most out of pocket posts that come so out of the blue

but yk the only thing you can count on Z to post (on his priv) ??

the fugliest photo dumps of you

it'll start so sweet too with model-esque looking pictures of you, standing in front of a golden sunset

gorgeous

feeling like maybelline itself; maybe you were born with it, maybe it's a fuck ton of micro-managing angles and camera settings

..and then it de-rails

then comes the bed head

the half blink mid camera flash

THE 0.5s !!!!!

photos from the most horrendous angles that he just absolutely adores

Z has an album on his phone of these fugly little pictures of you that he goes through whenever he's away on tour

because when he misses you, it's not the dolled up, picture perfect image of you he misses

it's the late night you who babbles on about nothing out of pure exhaustion

it's the early morning you who looks like you've just been pulled through a hedge backwards

it's you when you're not trying to show your best angle for a camera or put on a front for people you don't even know

he loves you when you're purely yourself

when you're vulnerable and real with him

he misses you

and it's you he fell in love with

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hope you enjoyed <3

[boccher]

ive been thinking like maybe living with my parents really is one of the worst things affecting my health and what am i supposed to do about that then cuz i don't have anywhere to move no friends except overseas i don't have money or a job to buy a plane ticket and my existence costs money like food and medication and all that i cant just rock up to them and ask them to tend to all my needs becoming a parasite on someone i love is one of the lowest circles of my hell probably and still i have zero work experience and my body gives out like every second day idk how im meant to get a job why dont they make jobs where i decide when i can come in instead of them deciding for me that would be so much easier