#can my fic scenes stop coming true in some weird way

[randyortonofficial]

video of cody rhodes, snoop dogg, and undertaker in a tour bus talking to each other just dropped and i can’t stop laughing because there is literally a scene in my candy fic where snoop dogg gives cody advice backstage at the 2008 wrestlemania which ends up in cody rhodes and the undertaker having sex

[crystalflygeo]

Last of her kind Emperor!Alpha!Zhongli + Slave!Omega!Dragoness!Reader-

cw/tags: mentions of slavery and past sexual abuse on fem!reader, A/B/O dynamics, mating bites, fingering, scenting, pet names, zhongli has a knot and alpha fangs and is not afraid to use them lmao, some nip and clit stimulation ig?? emotional roller coaster ngl.

notes: So remember a loooong time ago when I held a poll and one of the options was "dragon" and it WON?? well actually it was this, (dragon READER heh) it just got WAY out of control. 5.6k words and now I wanna make it into a whole series //head in hands// anyway ye have this weird lil funky AU I poured my sweat blood and tears into (also my heart and soul) idk why I am just so attached I love it so much plsss I have ideas fot other scenes with them already aaaaaaaaa <3

Partially inspired by some of @silentmoths' fics holy shIT I LOVE DRAGON READER AND I LOVE OMEGAVERSE NOD IF YOU AGREE!!

Last but not least if y'all wanna be part of my pinglist uhh I'm making one now so :3c

Part 2 ->

Strange yellow leaves fall around you all over the courtyard…

“Fix your clothes, you have to look appealing… well, as appealing as a creature like you can be.” The voice of your Master calls out harshly, pulling and tugging at details in your outfit. It was a flimsy and silky thing, mostly see-through, rather elegant, but very revealing.

You’re used to it.

“And stop looking so miserable! You better smile and please this Alpha. He’s not just anyone, you know?”

You nod meekly, trying to hide the slight trembling on your body. This will be just another bonding attempt. Nothing else.

It will fail. Just like all the others before.

Silver chains clink and tug the collar at your neck, it shakes you back to the present as you stumble forward.

Master guides you through a maze of corridors, with sleek surfaces of dark wood, decorative lanterns and paper screens. They’re strange, covered in even stranger symbols that look nothing like the ones back in the desert. Your bare feet, used to rough hot sand, now walk along polished wood with your draconic tail dragging behind. Everything looks so lavish…

You’ve been brought all the way to Li- Liu-… Li-yue? A foreign country, to meet a potential client. Well, a client to your Master. You are just the merchandise: a dragonblood Omega. Rare, unique even, “exotic”.

But defective.

Your fists clench in nervousness. How rough will this Alpha be with you? You dread to find the answer. Alphas were cruel, ever since you remember you’ve been taught to please, be gentle, obedient and look pretty, but they were never any of those things. Alphas just took their pleasure and used your body as they wanted, usually until you were crying and screaming, begging for mercy. You just hope this Alpha would give you some pity and be quick… or give you time to rest in between attempts.

Though you had learned since long that your wishes don’t tend to come true.

What a disappointment. After I spent so much money and resources on you.

Such a waste of time, what use is there in an Omega that can’t bond?

Why do I even bother with you? You’re just good for the reproduction camp. Maybe that way you can produce another dragonblood.

This is your last chance, mutt. If you fail again, I won’t be bothering with you anymore.

You feel anxiety creeping on your chest, heart jumping to your throat as the dark thoughts invade your mind. Last chance… your last chance at bonding. At proving you’re not useless and stupid. At serving your purpose as Omega. What was happening to you was fair. You deserve to be punished and you should be grateful you have one last chance after all your failures.

You just want to… to…

Tears prickle at your eyes and you breathe in deeply, trying to contain your distress and hugging your own tail, rubbing your face on the fluffy tip.

Whatever happens today, your fate is going to be sealed.

The nest room is nice.

Like the rest of the place, it is rather elegant, dimly lit with neutral colors and wooden walls, filled with pillows and blankets that had a very subtle flowery aroma to them. Small cabinets to one side with some decorative objects on top and a full-length mirror on the other side. So much different from the barren cold stone walls and tents from the desert camps.

“Hm, pretty fancy.” Master says taking off your collar, your soft unblemished neck now on display, free from any claim. “Now…” He pulls at your hair and you wince, whining and lowering your ears on a submissive display. He wouldn’t hurt you right? You have to look pretty. “The emperor will be here shortly. Make sure to do anything and everything he wants. And you better smile, I told you.”

“E-Emperor?” You pale, eyes widening.

He scoffs and pushes you back, you stumble back into the mess of pillows. “That’s right. I don’t know why but he was very adamant to see you it seems. Perhaps he just wants the prestige of owning the last known dragonblood, hm? Another novelty for his collection, I’m sure. You should consider yourself really lucky. So…” He flashes his Alpha fangs at you with a growl and you whimper again, cowering. “I would suggest you do your best and don’t disappoint this time, he’ll pay a pretty penny for you.”

And with that he leaves, muttering something and almost slamming the strange sliding door.

And so, you’re alone.

Immediately your brain goes into overdrive. An emperor? You had been presented to various Alphas of high status before, wealthy merchants and high-ranking tribe members, but this… this was probably a whole other level.

An emperor had to have an empress, right? Someone of noble birth and high status such as himself, not a lowly sand lizard like you, with weird ears, scales, horns and a tail. Why would he want to see an Omega like you? Perhaps Master was right, he intended to keep you as a trophy in his collection, another pretty thing.

It was humiliating.

But anything was better than being doomed to the reproduction camp…

Maybe the emperor had a harem? You’ve heard of them before, some Alphas liked to boast having many Omegas bound to them. Living in this luxury, not having to worry about much anything except looking pretty and pleasing him once a while. Hell, maybe he wouldn’t even pay attention to you, you’d be just a glorified pet.

You could… do that.

Without noticing, your tail starts swaying after you, this could be a chance. Your chance. You just had to make him like you. Forget the bond. Don’t think about it. All you have to do is please him.

You start frantically arranging the sheets and pillows around, building the comfiest nest you ever had with all the extra material, scenting it with excited happy pheromones. You could do it, this was your chance.

You won’t fail this time. You’ll be pretty, obedient, submissive, the ideal Omega. You’ll let him use you to his heart’s content, sure you may be a little sore but it’ll be worth it if he chooses you. He won’t even care about the bond.

…Right?

You jolt when you hear the door slide slightly open again, your heart leaps to your throat as someone walks in.

Oh.

Is… he the emperor? … He’s handsome.

To be fully honest, you expected some fat pompous middle-aged man not this… perfect specimen of an Alpha.

Your tail sways a little with curiosity.

He looks only slightly older than you, tall, wearing elegant robes in brown and golden hues. His eyes are like a sunset: golden, warm, almost glowing. A red liner accentuating them. Long chocolate hair faded to amber at the tips. His scent was earthy and pleasant, subtle unlike most Alpha musk. Almost comforting and… familiar?

He seems to stare back at you with the same surprise, frozen for a moment, eyes slightly wide, he says something you can’t quite hear and it shakes you out of the spell. You suddenly feel a little self-conscious, curling your tail around you, ears down and resisting the urge to brush (hide) the scales at the corners of your eyes.

It occurs to you that you’ve been just staring like an idiot, you don’t know very well how to address him, nor know his foreign tongue. So, you simply lower your head in respect. “My Lord…”

You suddenly feel nervous. This is it.

You turn around, following the motions ingrained in your brain. Body splayed on the nest, arms tucked in, head down. Submissive, obedient. Your hands are shaking, you feel dizzy, heart thrumming in your chest, blood rushing in your ears.

You lift your butt just slightly, tail curling elegantly over your back, out of the way to expose the flimsy fabric covering your privates, properly presenting to the Alpha. You focus on trying to control your pheromones, letting out just whiffs of a needy sensual scent, worried of mixing in your anxiety and fear and displeasing the emperor.

You had to be pretty, enticing, compliant, and he would, h-he would…

A rather awkward cough has you tense. “There is… no need for that.”

You blink for a moment, taken aback at the rich deep baritone of his voice, so hypnotizing you almost don’t register his words. He speaks common tongue, but still, what does he mean? Isn’t this just… standard protocol for bonding? Isn’t he going to mount you?

You dare peek over your shoulder and see him sitting elegantly over his knees at the floor. He’s outside of the nest range.

He’s also slightly pink at the cheeks and pointedly avoiding looking at you.

Is this a trap? Is he testing you to see if you’ll misbehave? Your hands clench, nails digging at your palms, your breathing and heart increasing pace.

“I just want to talk, I promise.” He tries.

You hold the position.

He sighs, and then-

“Omega, relax.”

You almost squeak at the Alpha command. His voice, his will, seeps into your skin, your nerves, your very bones. You feel your muscles loosen up, tension leaving your body like a bowstring snapping and you lie on the sheets sideways.

Right right right, you’re tense, you have to be soft and pliant-

You look over at him and he��s… heading over to the little cabinets. He picks up a kettle of some kind and little cups that sit on the top, moving around calmly and elegantly as he seems to prepare something. Your head tilts and you gingerly sit up straight. Tail and ears down, curled up not unlike a wounded animal.

“Do you speak the common tongue?”

“Y-Yes!” You nod. “A little…”

“Good.”

The emperor seems… pleasant, he is calm and unguarded, so different from the cold intimidating Alphas you’ve met who like to show off, who immediately order you around. He even used an Alpha command on you but it felt… grounding. There is something equally eerie and entrancing about him and you feel yourself as much drawn to him as terrified of his imposing aura, and you couldn’t explain why. It’s a bit unsettling but also comforting at the same time.

He pours two cups and turns to you. You stiffen and he offers you one.

“Qixing tea is one of the most refined Liyue teas. It tends to be very bitter but this blend has a more pleasant taste, a little floral even. It is also said to help relax one’s mind.”

You carefully take the cup, not wanting to insult such gracious offer, though you’re utterly confused, shouldn’t you be the one serving him?

The cup is warm.

You stare at the golden liquid, small black dots sit at the bottom. This has no alcohol… right? It can’t be worse than snake wine at least.

You carefully take a sip, trying to imitate how the emperor is holding his.

It is… nice, a strong sharp taste but not bad, and very aromatic.

He’s looking at you expectantly and your tail and ears twitch. “I-It’s very good. Thank you, my Lord.”

He smiles and your heart skips a beat. “I am glad. Some say Qixing tea is for older people, but it’s frankly one of my favorites.” He stares at his cup with a somewhat nostalgic gaze, as if it brings him fond memories. “Ah, you can address me as Morax.”

You nod quietly and take another sip. Past the tea’s powerful flowery scent, you can now sense his Alpha pheromones, with him being so close and the air less tense. They’re strong but not overwhelmingly so, sharp and tantalizing, a refined foreign scent you can almost taste in the back of your throat. It stirs something in you, something warm and alluring.

“Do you know where were you born? Who are your parents?”

The question takes you by surprise for a moment as you shake out of your thoughts. Ah, he must be inquiring about your dragonblood. “I-I’m…. I’m not sure, my Lo- um… L-Lord Morax. As far as I know my mother worked at a-a heat house… no one knew who my father was and she passed away when I was very young.”

“I see… so you have no idea where you got your dragon traits from.” It was a sentence rather than a question and you shake your head meekly, taking another sip from the tea, ears lowering back.

“Apparently it could be due to recessive genes.” You once again repeat the same words you’ve heard all your life. You hate bringing attention to your dragon features, people either treat you like a rare exotic creature or a dangerous one. You didn’t know which was worse.

“Hmmm…” Lord Morax seems pensive for a moment, also drinking some of the tea. “Have you been with your caretaker for long?”

You look down. “Master has been in charge of me ever since I… p-presented as an Omega.”

“Does he treat you well?”

Your eyes widen, the question catching you completely by surprise. T-Treat you well? You are… treated like any other slave omega, if only being singled out by your draconic traits. He feeds you, he gives you clothing and education, he arranges the best matches he can for bonding, he even got you here in the first place. You owe him everything, you’re nothing without him.

So then… Why do you find yourself thinking back on all the harsh words, all the punishments, all the screaming and crying, all the… t-touches…

You gulp. “M-Master ensures I have the best living conditions and opportunities I can.” Is what you settle for.

He hums.

There is silence for a moment and lord Morax settles down his cup.

“I don’t think you’re aware of how special you are.”

Just when you thought he couldn’t surprise you anymore, he utters those words and makes your heart speed up.

Is this anxiety? Fear?

“Judging from what your Master has told me, you’re treated like quite the novelty, an exotic half-blood not unlike the Valuka Shuna or Kätzlein. Here in Liyue however those with traits like yours are called Xiānshòu.” The foreign word rolls off his tongue. His golden eyes fix on you and you freeze. “Also known as illuminated beasts. With immense power and longevity, even the half-bloods. They’re well respected and looked up to, why, some are even revered as deities...”

You? Such a fantastic creature? That can’t be…

“Seems to me like things are different in the deserts of Sumeru, however.” His eyes narrow and for the first time you notice his diamond pupils. They look like a snake’s. The same eerie glint he had a few minutes ago is back darkening the bright golden eyes. Yet, for some strange reason you don’t feel scared this time.

A shiver travels down your spine as you feel your instincts purr in delight. Protective… for some reason lord Morax is being protective of you. You don’t know why or how but you can feel it and it made your inner Omega preen inside. An Alpha wanted to protect you, care for you.

“Such a shame.” He adds, sounding almost disappointed but there is something darker underneath. Word simmering with… frustration? “You are such a lovely dragoness, worthy of every praise and prayer they’d sign in your name here.”

You’re very glad your cup rests at your lap, blushing furiously with trembling hands.

For the next few moments, he continued to ask some more questions. What you like or dislike, what you do in your free time, even something as innocuous as your favorite color. Time seemed to stretch into infinity as you grew a little more comfortable with your answers and the whole situation, as though you weren’t talking to an emperor, or even a potential master or Alpha but rather… someone who saw you for who you are.

You liked that. You liked him.

You wanted to stay with him.

You wished to-

“Alright, I think that’s enough. I will have a talk with your Master and we’ll settle things.” He stands up and dusts his attire a little.

Your breath stops.

He is leaving.

He is leaving.

Did you do something wrong? Didn’t he say he liked your appearance? Are you such a failed disgraceful omega? Your last chance at bonding. You didn’t even get to impress him. You want to call out to him, do something, anything. Panic rises in your chest, drowning you, freezing you. You can barely think, instincts screaming, begging, wailing in despair for him. This kind Alpha, this gentle, patient, imposing, majestic Alpha who’s too good for you and yet something deep inside you yearns for him…!

“I am very glad to have met you little xiānshòu.” A small smile tugs at his lips. Then, he turns and heads for the sliding doors.

So, you do the first thing that comes to your mind.

The empty cup falls from your hands, your footsteps thump loudly on the wooden floors, soft fabric clenches between your fingers.

As soft as the lips you crash yours onto.

…

It only lasts a few seconds but when you back just a little, ears low and tail curled up in apprehension, you realize what you did.

You’d kissed him, you’d kissed the emperor.

You’re shaking like a leaf, clinging to him for dear life. He stares at you with wide surprised eyes but you’d rather die right here for your insolence than live the rest of your days in regret.

His scent takes on an alluring hint to it and your inner Omega is overjoyed. Up so close it is almost irresistible. His face remains impassive, if a little tense, but you can see in his eyes something you identify very well… hunger, desire.

“Lord Morax… t-the nest… please.”

“Y-You don’t have to-”

“Please! Allow me to please you, allow me to show you…how…” You whisper against his lips, leaning in again as your eyes flutter close.

And suddenly his hands wrap around you and pull you close, cupping your face, curling at your waist, there’s something possessive in it and you feel slight vibrations as he growls deep from his chest against your mouth. But there is also something sweet, something delicate…

And for once, you want more. You want this.

How did you end up here? In the most beautiful nest you’d ever constructed, with the most handsome, kind, caring Alpha you’d ever met?

His kisses are deep and slow, completely unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. You lie on the soft sheets as he looms over you, exploring your mouth with an unhurried pace, hungry yet not forceful, letting you timidly do the same at your own pace.

This is nice…

His hands run along your body, caressing your skin through your flimsy attire. His touch curious but gentle.

“May I?” He asks, tugging at the fabric off your shoulder.

You shiver, at his voice, as the pure want in it, in his eyes, in his scent.

“Y-yes my lord…”

“Hmm…” His kisses trail down your jaw down to your neck as he starts pulling the garments off. Careful, instead of simply ripping them apart, your heart skips a beat. “If we’re going to do this, you can use my name and not just titles…”

Your top falls off and goosebumps litter your skin, nipples pebbled as one of his hands cups your breast.

“M-Morax…” You try, shakily, as if testing out the word alone on your lips.

“No, little one. Zhongli. That is my name.” He kisses down your shoulders, nipping at the skin.

“Ah!” Your tail flickers around and you purr.

You take the initiative to kiss him this time, and your hands start roaming his foreign clothes, fumbling with knots and pawing at the fabric. He chuckles at your frustrated whine. You want more, more of this feeling, more of him. To touch his skin, cover him in kisses, worship him.

(Show him what a good Omega you can be.)

No…

You want to make him feel good and please him.

Elegant fabric falls down discarded as he shakes off the layers of his top and you blink surprised. The fabric was bulky and covered up his figure. Lean but muscled, tantalizing like honey. You immediately latch onto him, nosing, scenting, nipping and kissing, feeling the faint outline of his abs and muscles twitch under your touch. He smells so good, he feels so good…

Your Omega instincts are starting to cloud your senses more and more.

Suddenly one of his hands gently squeezes a soft breast and you moan at the sudden touch “O-Oh!”

“You’re sensitive here, do you like this?” He asks, massaging your chest.

You whimper and nod frantically, tail wagging behind you. You had never been this responsive to having your chest played with, though then again, it was rare… but his sensual touches were quickly undoing you. Wetness pools at your gut and you rub your legs together.

Lord Mor- Zhongli… leans down then and something wet flicks over your nipple making you gasp, before warmth surrounds your nub. You cry out even louder. He sucks and laps at it and you instinctively tangle your hands on his hard dark hair, your legs wrapping around his waist.

You groan again, too many layers on the way.

“C-clothes… off, please!”

“As you wish, my dear dragoness.”

He continues squeezing, kissing, caressing and lapping at your skin, leaving a couple of hickeys along the way and teasing his Alpha fangs against you as his attention descends through your body once more, continuing his trail of kisses along your hip. His fingers dip down the waistband of your mesh pants and when you raise your hips to help, he pulls them down.

You’ve been naked in front of others more times than you’d like to count. But there’s something oddly intimate and special about this situation right now.

Your ears lower in apprehension, and your tail flicks by your side, resisting the urge to cover up. Lying down with your legs slightly spread around him. Already flushed, sweaty and panting.

“…You’re gorgeous.”

Huh?!

“I’m so lucky to have found you.” Zhongli nips at your hip. “So lucky that you want me too.” He kisses at your inner thigh.

Your breath hitches.

You’re the lucky one. Completely overjoyed that this Alpha likes you, desires you.

The first touch at your core has you mewling.

Zhongli strokes at your folds, still gentle, finding you soaked as your slick coats his fingers. Your body jolts and you moan “A-Ah!” He smirks against your thigh and nips there again as his fingers move in circles, teasing, testing, before moving to your clit. A finger pad stroking it just so, making your whole frame tremble, like every nerve in your body is being stimulated.

“Mngh- please!”

His fingers travel between your folds. First one sliding in rather easily, pumping steadily as you shudder in pleasure, and then two, making you writhe, bucking your hips against the touch, pushing them deeper, chasing that feeling.

Your body feels hot, too hot. Every sensation blocked except that warm wet feeling down there, in your new heaven. Your hands claw at the sheets, a pleasant fog setting in and you can feel yourself slipping into your most primal needs. But oh, oh, not like this.

You want him. Need him.

“You- y-you! please my lord!”

Something snaps in the Alpha’s eyes and Zhongli growls. Golden eyes dark, swallowed by lust and need and you whine when his fingers leave you. You vaguely hear rustling noises and before you can protest again, he pulls you up back on his lap and oh…

He’s big.

His erection stands proud between your bodies, rubbing against you and you shuffle impatiently, nuzzling against him.

Yes, yes…

Zhongli helps positioning you, gives himself a few strokes, and you feel his cockhead kiss at your entrance, you whine and stare at him rather confused. “L-Like this? B-But I have never- This is n-not how-”

He kisses your forehead, your nose, and pecks at your lips. “I can imagine this is very different from how they’ve taught you Alphas mount Omegas, but I my dear, intend to make love to you.” He whispers, hot breath fanning your cheeks as he nuzzles you, so close, so intimate. Your heart hammering wildly in your chest. “Like this you will have more control. I want you to relax, enjoy, my sweet dragoness.” He kisses at your cheek, down your jaw to your neck. “May I?”

You can feel your eyes water. No one had ever told you that. No Alpha had ever been this patient or even asked your permission before. Words die on your throat as you stare mesmerized at Zhongli. Grateful. Incredulous. Completely enamored.

You nod, and he guides you down.

It’s different like this. So much different.

You bite your lip and whine a little once you start to move, his hands hold your hips as you raise them and sink back down on his cock, inch by delicious inch. You feel… full, but warm, good. Your insides clench around him and he groans.

Oh… you could get used to this…

“Hah… ah! … m-my lord... I’m…” You feel dizzy but in a good way, your body tingles all over and it’s exhilarating, addicting.

He leans forward a bit, nosing at your collarbone, soft kisses tickle your skin and he… he’s almost purring in delight, inhaling your scent. “I told you, you can just call me by my name... Would you let me hear it?”

You buck languidly on his embrace, enjoying this…sensual experience, these new feelings and sensations. His tender closeness, his intoxicating pheromones, his deep baritone.

Him.

“Zhongli…”

His name comes out as a needy cry and he growls, Alpha pride clearly satisfied. His hands roam your body just enough to shift position and pull you even closer, hips rolling in tandem, picking up speed, his fangs grazing your shoulder.

Your head is swimming in pleasure, fuzzy like stuffed with cotton, small little “Ah… ah… ah!” moans punched out of you. You’re vaguely aware of your nails digging onto his skin but you can’t even stop yourself, you need to hold onto something, anything.  

Even your tail subconsciously curls around his ankle (and he doesn’t even seem to mind), like every cell of your body is screaming at you to hold onto him and never let go.

Zhongli’s own breathing comes out in harsh puffs and satisfied groans as he buries himself in you over and over, the sound of skin slapping on skin becomes more prominent.

And then, he hits a spot that has you seeing stars.

Your eyes snap open (when had you closed them?) Back arching as if struck by lightning and letting out a high-pitched moan. H-How did he do that?! What was that? You don’t remember ever feeling like this in previous bonding attempts.

“M-more?” You mewl in delight.

Zhongli looks at you with a satisfied smirk and it only fuels the fire in your belly.

“Gladly.”

That same wonderful feeling travels up and down your body again and again as your moans and whimpers rise in volume, calling his name over and over. Zhongli kisses you, deep and passionate. Whispers praises and sweet nothings on your flickering dragon ears. Touches you so soft and reverently. Your body feels so hot, your mind going blank, you can feel the base of his cock swelling with his knot and the familiar coil of pleasure tightening as you anticipate it, crave it, more intense and satisfying than ever before.

And just as you reach that high, his fangs sink into you.

You come with a squeal, body tensing, clinging onto him, clenching on him as he lets out a deep satisfied groan, knotting you. Wet stickiness coats your insides and thighs. And everything feels right, just right. Perfect even.

It takes a moment to come back to your senses, and it’s to Zhongli’s hands rubbing circles at your back comfortingly, while he laps and kisses at the bonding mark he left on you.

And then the high comes crashing down.

The bonding mark.

Tears well up in your eyes and start rolling down your cheeks, your tail uncoiling from him and curling around yourself protectively, ears down.

Please no… this can’t be…

Please stay…

Please.

Zhongli immediately notices your distress, in your actions and your scent, completely different altogether. His own instincts going wild at the lack of a happy sated mate scent. “Darling, what’s wrong? I’m sorry did it hurt that much? Did I… harm you in some way or did something wrong?” Oh, he sounds so genuinely concerned.

You shake your head desperately. Of course he hasn’t.

But you will.

Your body will. Betray you as always.

No bonding mark has stayed in your neck for longer than a few minutes. They all fade.

Just like the alphas that place them in you.

And then comes the anger, the guilt, the disappointment, the despair, the loneliness…

You can’t take it. Not this time.

“S-stay… please…” You sob.

Your voice sounds so broken, so weak and tiny, absolutely heart wrenching.

And Zhongli embraces you.

“I will, my dearest dragoness. I promise you.” He kisses one of your horns.

You want to believe him but you can only cry harder…

The room is dark as your eyes flutter open. It takes a few minutes to adjust and for your mind to catch up. Where are you…? You look around at the wooden walls, nestled in comfy sheets, you see some wooden cabinets and a tea set-

…!!!

You jolt awake, tumbling some pillows from your fancy nest. Your last chance at bonding. The emperor. He was leaving, and then…!

You slap a hand against the junction between neck and shoulder and feel something there, a bandage… you try to stare at it confused, though it’s impossible from the angle. And then fear consumes you. What if… it’s not there…?

Your body is still naked, though you have been covered with a thick fabric while sleeping, as it now pools at your lap, your Omega scent and that of an Alpha mixed together pleasantly, you turn around.

The Emperor. Lord Morax. Zhongli.

He sleeps peacefully by your side, on your nest, after having mated you.

He stayed.

You stare at his handsome features, fair skin, dark long hair, strong jaw, muscled arms. His lips slightly parted as he breathes evenly. So at ease.

You want to reach out and brush at his hair, touch his face, kiss him.

You want this moment to last forever.

Looking up slightly you see the large mirror, see yourself. A tiny thing, with freaky ears, horns and a tail.

It was… good, while it lasted. Almost like a dream.

Tears start falling down your cheeks again and you try to be as silent as possible as you pull and lift at the bandage in your shoulder. And there underneath it is… something?

Your fingers trace a mark, a wound, it stings and you hiss.

No way. There is no way.

Hope flutters in your chest, your stomach flips and you feel dizzy, nervous. A bonding mark? Is it real? Is it still there?

You shuffle out of the nest as fast and stealthily as you can, standing in front of the mirror. Hair a mess, eyes wide, pale in fear.

And there it is. The clear mark of an Alpha bite, still rather tender. A claim. A bond.

You start sobbing as you trace it, touch it, feel it. It must have been hours, there is no way…

It’s there, it’s there, for real. You want to laugh, to cry, you’re still nervous, scared, hopeful, happy, a million things at once.

But how? Why now?

“Hnng… darling? Are you crying again?” You stiffen as you hear the voice, deep and hoarse, laced with drowsiness. You turn and see him sit up and yawn carelessly like a rishboland tiger. Elegant and intimidating like one too with his bright golden eyes, Alpha fangs and muscled figure. Still naked as well, you note.

“T-the bonding mark… it’s still there!” You exclaim to him, gesturing to it.

“You should let it heal nicely.”

“Y-You don’t get it!” You huff. “My Lord… it’s still there! I’m bonded, I’m yours!”

He chuckles. “Rather, I would say we belong to each other, now.”

Belong to each other.

That sounds nice.

You turn back to the mirror, still staring at it, poking it with a finger softly, as if afraid it’ll disappear, as if it was an illusion, a dream.

But it’s there.

“For years… for years I thought I was doing s-something wrong, that there was something… wrong… with me…” You cry softly. “No Alpha had even bonded me…”

Suddenly you feel strong arms curl around your frame, a chin resting at your shoulder where it kisses your skin, and then brushes over the mark. It stings but you welcome it.

It means it’s real, all of this is.

Zhongli inhales, taking in your scent. “Well you see my dear, a dragonblood… a xiānshòu like you, can only be truly bonded by one of its own kind.”

The words take a moment to process, to sit on your brain, and you frown confused, staring at him from the mirror. And then your eyes widen.

Golden antlers crown his head, majestic and almost glowing, small scales appear under his striking amber eyes, the color of burnt ocher. A large tail, even bigger than yours in golden and brown hues, sways lazily behind him, before finding yours and intertwining with it, the feel is foreign but not unwelcome. Like holding hands.

You turn around so fast you almost trip if it weren’t for his hold. The dragonblood features are still there, in plain sight.

Your throat feels dry.

“You… you’re…”

He raises a finger to his lips and shushes you, then smiles. “I am yours my dear. Just as you are now mine.”

You cling to him and hide your face on his chest as you cry. Overwhelmed, relieved.

Yes, this is where you belong.

[accio-victuuri]

(13) Fake Rumors - from the vault

I have been going through some old rumors from the fake house & decided to share some. whether these may be new to you or not, but i hope you still enjoy them as much as I did looking back. I feel like in the fandom, we’ve only ever been active when it comes to lrlg and the 49 fakes. the rest of the information that fall in between aren’t as talked about or depends on the topic. as with all other bjyx material, i want a place to store some parts of it. 🤍

these are sort of random, the ones that I had saved and found again. treat it all as fiction.

( someone please make an AU fic or edit for this xz and wyb. there is a story here. look at them. 😍😍😍 )

i have traveled a long way, you have dreamed a long time. many lonely nights drift like fallen leaves but it always finds a way….🍃🍂

(1) this one was posted for the new year 🎉

XZ: Get me a courier later

🧔‍♂️:Okay

====

🧔‍♂️:What is it? It’s so light

XZ: made-up parts, Legos.

*XZ talking to a staff so he can send out some lego parts. I think it’s light because what he is sending are “parts” that WYB is missing and he found them for him. I truly like the idea of XZ spoiling WYB when it comes to his hobbies and him being invested in it too even if he isn’t necessarily a fan too. true love! and well, reminded me of the rumored lego set gift during the early days of cql filming.

(2) have you eaten?

About the backstage live broadcast of a recent event on the same stage

WYB:Have you eaten yet?

XZ: *shakes head*

WYB: Come have dinner with me later

XZ: Who else? (Looking over it, I don’t know what I’m looking for)

WYB: Stop looking for it. I’ll send it to you next time.

Supplement: Teacher W watched Teacher X take off his makeup before leaving together.

*The usual WYB making sure that XZ eats and him waiting for his gege so they can eat with each other. Even after the CQL filming, as long as they are at the same event they will try and be together. Tho instances of that have been so rare to 0 nowadays because of the amount of eyes on them.

(3) the forbidden book lol

The crew's study period

WYB: Where is the erotic book? I want to read it.

XZ: Suddenly got up and left.

*This is one of my faves even if it’s so short! Library Pavilion behind the scenes & rumors is the gift that keeps on giving. I wouldn’t put it pass WYB to troll ZZ with this.

Here’s a GIF for you to bring you back to that time🤍

(4) call me maybe? 📱

There was a period last year where everyone had to learn rap, usually🐂 learned the fastest but he was absent-minded that time🐂 was looking at us eating delicious food while resting, it seems that he is thinking his rap, he seemed to be even more tired. At this time, staff handed over the phone and he left immediately to pick it up.

He called him, and when he came back he didn't have any special expression, but he felt refreshed. 

(5) praising

WYB: I really like to be praised by everyone and feel "wow" from everyone, so every time Da Zhen's family praises me crazily, I will secretly write it down and send it to him.

XZ: I am also a part-time praise captain. Every time I praise,None of them are the same.He can often keep up with the facts.

WYB: I don’t understand a lot of Internet slang.

XZ: I always hurt him by saying, "No, you don't even know this joke, so WYB doesn't go online?" Just. very good. Laughing, every time I feel hurt, I secretly say "He is better than me. I'm young, I know everything." What kind of tone is this? One time during a video, XZ sang "Darling, come and save me." Seeing WYB's ears slowly become red and coughed. Who can tell me what’s going on with these lyrics?

(6) baking shenanigans

The puff pastry made by XZ is very delicious, WYB will also work with XZ to help when he has time. He’s busy getting started, and they will also do some weird things. If there is a strange taste, try it with the people around you.

Once WYB squeezed minced garlic into the pastry and mixed chili powder, but forgot to mark it, XZ ate it, pinched the back of the neck and squeezed the flesh of the face "Teacher Trained WYB”

*IM CACKLING AT THIS OMG WYB 😂😂😂 what flavor of pastry is that????

(7) another one about eating

Aling period

WYB: Why are you back?

XZ: Come back for dinner, there will be a show in the afternoon

WYB: Aren’t you going to eat with your friends?

XZ: I didn’t agree when someone wanted to invite me, it was too stupid.

WYB: xls It’s so difficult to eat normally today

XZ: You haven’t eaten it, have you?

WYB: Nope. I just thought you were back.

(8) checking the weather

XZ: “The weather doesn’t look like it’s going to rain...(Look 📱)

👤: "It should be sunny..."

XZ: “I just saw📱the weather forecast showed it’s going to rain soon.

👤: How is that possible? It’s obviously sunny. "(春📱)

XZ: "Huh?" (👤♥Two people facing each other📱)

XZ: Overcast to light rain to moderate rain.

👤: What you are looking at is the weather

XZ: Oh my God, so embarrassing...

XZ forgot to switch cities. no one will know the city WYB was in that day if I don’t tell you.

*This one hits different cause for this rumor, they are in different cities but in the same country. Lately, there are times that they are in diff countries so do they look at the weather their too? 🥹🥹🥹

I can’t relate to their obsession with the weather, but if that gives them a sense of connection to each other then it’s fine.

(9) raining

💚Supplement: It’s when the temperature gradually rises. At that time, it rained in June.

💚Holding an umbrella💚❤️talking all the way

❤️Start standing on the right side of 💚

💚Hold the umbrella and tilt it in the direction of ❤️

❤️Thick clothes💚Left half of light-colored thin clothes

The edges are wet and very transparent.

❤️Just keep pushing the umbrella in the direction of 💚

I wanted to block 💚 a little more, but found it was fine.

After seeing the effect, I found an opportunity to move it to the left side of 💚

Then 💚 the right half also got wet

Both centered and symmetrical….…..

(10) them and their parents.

Regarding their parents, I currently know the older one’s mom and dad can also surf the internet, and talk about about their CP and their impression of WYB is good. But his mother actually really wants to have a grandchild. His father is very indifferent when the older one comes home. I'm sure his mother won't be able to bear it. She asked him bluntly, the older ones always focus on work to fool her in the past. In July this year not only did he tell the truth to his family but took the younger one back with him.

It’s time for dinner at home, and the younger one is very nervous. He is afraid that the family will think he is not good enough. He bought a lot of things and piled them up for backup. He sprayed perfume and dressed properly and pretended. The older one made him want to laugh when he looks at him, just fool around. The younger one calls him a big bastard.

The mother on the table was holding jianguo and said she could only count on her to give birth to a litter of grandsons.

* I know that talk about their parents is sensitive and would always lead to more discussion, but again, treat this as fiction. and tbh, who could resist WYB as a son in law??? It I had a son and he brings home WYB as a boyfriend I will be very happy. I also feel soft that XZ is trying to tease and make WYB laugh.

(11)

What happened last year

WYB: Is it delicious?

XZ: (nodding while eating) Yeah, it’s quite delicious.

WYB: What about others?

XZ: Wait a minute...Wow, I just ate that, this one has no taste.

WYB: Is it too spicy?

XZ: It’s okay, but my tongue is numb and I can’t taste other flavors.

WYB: Wait a minute, drink some water. Is it really that spicy?

XZ: Try it yourself. You didn't keep it for yourself? Wasn't it sent from you?

WYB: I didn't take it apart. Bring it to me.

Then XZ really ate so much that he left two packets and took them back to WYB.

(You send it to me and I will bring it back to you. What kind of trick is this?)

What happened this year

XZ: It’s been too cold these two days.

👤: Southern kids.

XZ: :Then northerners also feel cold. Cold is cold.

(Okay, I know you have northerners in your family, next one)

👤When teasing XZ and WYB, XZ’s response was, “Hahaha” and send out red envelopes. As expected of Boss XZ.

I saw other people's submissions and came to do some post-sale service. I heard that XZ sang to put WYB to sleep. I know that there is indeed mmxhn, and there is a six-character song related to snow. (There are probably others somewhere that I don’t know about)

(12) like a fairy

XXX was wearing Iwj's white clothes for the first time

XX: Fairy, descended to earth to overcome the tribulation

XXX: Isn’t fairy a dog? You have so much information but no good words.

XX: Compliment you for being good-looking and handsome.wls, wow, so handsome!

XXX: xls looks better than me, our xls is so beautiful, ancestor of Yiling

XX: Stop, stop, it’s so shameful

*My favorite kind of rumor is when WYB goes gremlin on XZ! 😂😂😂😂

(13) cravings

WYB has been craving for "cai cai rice" recently, XZ told him many times that spring is not so good to have wild vegetables, even if they are cooked. WYB said he doesn’t care about wild vegetables he just wants to eat the vegetable rice cooked by XZ, but I don’t have that. It smells good, I just want to eat it.

In the end, he still didn’t get the cabbage meal, but freshly baked dumplings. WYB got a bargain and acted nice, he was acting coquettishly while eating.

* Oh to be WYB and have someone like XZ cook for youuuu 😍😍😍😍

-END.

P.S : this ye mi and xiao zhan AU pairing is living in my mind rent free. 🥵🥵🥵

[omar-rudeberg]

Hi Lili! I just wanted to say that I love your fics and I've re-read them multiple times each and they still feel just as special in a re-read as they do the first time around. Inside is no exception. It was so beautiful, loving, but heartbreaking and devastating at the same time (I even shed a tear – or five). It really feels like you just get Wilmon, you know?

And it got me wondering how you think their first time having sex once they're back together (for good now) would happen post episode 6. Like in terms of their feelings and would it be rushed or slow, etc. I'm just really curious about your thoughts on the matter :)

Thank you for sharing your beautiful words and thoughts (even in tags) with us 💜

hello my beautiful beautiful human bean what a love letter you've left me ?! hearing you like and are moved by and go back to my silly little words? wild. astounding. unbelievable. thank you for reading & thank you for coming here to tell me. ahhh 'get' wilmon !! is there any greater accomplishment !! i sure hope you keep feeling this way !!

i've been pondering your second question for so long and i've landed somewhere i hope you agree with...

(fuck me this got more detailed than i bargained for, here have a read more whoopsie daisy)

i have this gut feeling that the first time they have sex post-canon (wild that we can now call it that !!) is ... weird. different. i don't know i can't really explain it, but why i think so is that their intimacy has always been this like, almost homing beacon for their relationship you know? it's been a northern star, a sturdy monolith of everything they feel and need from the other that they can't put into words, a balm that soothes any rough edges that arise from the many many incompatibilities of their individual existences.

it's been tender and exploratory, sweet and gripping, urgent and learnèd and all-encompassing, but it's never been ... slow? it's never been particuarly awkward. they've never had time, really, because with the exception of maybe the fish scene, every time they've had sex has been either a hello or a desperate goodbye.

all this to say that i think the first time they find to have sex post-s6 - and for some reason i picture them in simon's room when they finally get there? can't explain it - i think they fall back into this pattern of urgency and desperation and desire, but then something stops this in it's tracks. honestly i have this vision so clear of like... one of them unable to get it up the first time they want to fuck post-canon hahaha and again i can't explain it but it's true !! in my head it's wille, maybe, and it's something akin to the way - have you ever had that thing happen where you get sick right as you take leave from work to go on a holiday or something? like your body realises you don't have to be switched on for weeks and decides to give you a head cold? something akin to that. wilhelm's adrenaline has run its course and his body's not working the way it did before, it's taking a break, now. finally.

so to finally finally answer your question i think they'll want it to be fast, and suave, and smooth and sexy and dirty and similar to like ep3, but they'll be forced instead into awkward. into slow. into soothing. i picture like, lots of kissing, slow deep kissing, and nuzzling, and grinding (lord, so much grinding), and breaths fanning hot over goose-pimpled skin. i picture them slowly talking, whispering, realising they have it now - t i m e - they have time, now. they don't even have to fuck (the whole shebang) tonight if they don't want to (they do, oh they do want to but they talk about how they don't have to). they spend a lot of time not fucking anyway, just being close and naked and together. i picture them both working wille over so slowly - so gently - finding out together what places on his body react to being kissed, what has his belly pulling tight and having his dick interested, finally. i picture simon being brought to the edge once - twice, maybe - before wilhelm's finally in any state to fuck him, and then god save simon when wilhelm actually does enter him he's so hard and so sensitive and so just as;dkfjas;ldkfj;lsad

okay fuck literally everything i'm so sorry and/or you're welcome? is this what you bargained for? asd;lfj;lsadkjf

(if you made it this far go to my request for prompts next please i think i've put you in the right mindset)

[miffysmittens]

ok here's a little rant about one of my fav fics, buttt before we start please go and make sure you give the author some love!

fic:

author: @ack4rwoman

ok thank you now let's get started

so what i've come to rant about is about how while i was listening to some music the song "You Are In Love" by Taylor Swift came on and all I could think about is how much it related to the fic, especially the chorus. Keep in mind that this fic is still on going with the characters barely starting highschool now, so they obviously won't relate to every thing, but just take a look at the chorus here.

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you

You can feel it on the way home, way home, you

You can see it with the lights out, lights out

You are in love, true love

You are in love

first of all, "You can hear it in the silence"

now if you've read this fic already, you know what i'm talking about when I say the stargazing scene. Not only that but there are many times when y/n and megumi share comfortable and awkward silences alike, so yeah this fits them.

after that, "You can feel it on the way home"

So when I hear this, the scene where they're walking home and y/n confronts him about him being weird recently(i wonder why), but with them being neighbors they walk home together everyday so that works too.

"You can see it with the lights out"

What I think of during this lyric is when they're watching movies at Yuji's place and Megumi and Nobara are fighting over the seat next to you. I think this is one of the first scenes that we can actually see Megumi's crush starting to stir.

And obviously "You are in love, true love" tying it all together

honestly there's a lot more similarities i saw but I don't want to bore you so i'm gonna stop here. If you would like to hear more though i'll happily gather my thoughts and share them with you all. Also please let me know if you have any songs that you relate to this fic or if you have any comments about this one!

tysm for reading my silly little rant😅

[zlobonessa]

well since the coup thing here just kinda sorta ended i guess i think this is as good time as ever to tell yall about my silly little modern au because why the hell not. i had this au for a while as a source for jokes but it just kept growing and growing untill. well I'm actually writing fic about (parts of) this but again it's in russian so i just want to outline the ideas. this is totally went off the rails but i like it that way

so

the catalyst of all is regurein of course

i have several variations of why the hell are they dating but one of my favourites is the one where they engage in passionate fight about twilight saga on the internet

joke about twilight saga belongs to koa. thanks koa.

the second favourite is about coffeeshop au set in two rivaling coffeeshops with questionable work practices and with money laundering probably happening in the background (or something worse?) of one of them

but anyway

reinhard's friends are taking the news very well

which means they are not, in fact, taking the news very well

julius is heartbroken

he has that wlw experience where your infinitely pretty incredibly smart unimaginably cool friend (homoerotic undertone) starts dating a guy who can be characterized only as Human Garbage

out of Friendly Concerns he and the others start the secret operation of Breaking Your Best Friend Relationships

they are not very successful

observing disgustingly sweet and/or horrifying dates with binoculars from the bushes does not bring any results

ferris suggested poisoning several times already

somewhere along the line felt is involved

she is neither the participant nor regurein's matchmaker but a secret third thing

(not entertained by any of this bullshit but forced to observe it)

probably is blackmailing julius

lye is also here

he is tagging along with regulus for some reasons idk i never thought it through

he and felt form unexpected friendship based on common annoyance of being forced to third wheel all this mess

perhaps they start the punk rock band???

the music is terrible

joshua thinks soo too

yes he is also here

he desperatly pretends to be a big fan

that's his late teenage rebellion

felt and lye do not like him anyway but it's not like they have a lot of fans so they keep him to buy them alcohol or something

when julius finds out he almost has a heart attack

and also regulus had some malicious plan all along! oh no!

but oh well he is not the smartest guy yknow

certainly NOT GOOD with being subtle

also has very Weird relationships with feelings

and accidentally catches them for reinhard for real

his mental stability: destroyed

but it's fine and reinhard keeps him anyway because he is absolutely bonkers

again julius is very close to an emergency room

but also in the (failed) attempt to stop this shitshow he Finds His True Love

emijulisuba happens! yay

bonded by spying and perhaps discussion ls of common crush on reinhard

so it's fine. it's totally fine. it's so fine he swears.

IN THE MEANTIME

the subplot happens. it involves wilhelm.

reinhard informs him that he has a boyfriend and plans to introduce him at the family dinner. in the desparate attempt to repair their broken relationships wilhelm decides that it's time to be An Ally

i'm giving him a lot of credit here but that's also a bit of copium for Me Personally so it's okay

so wilhelm googles "who are.gay people"

accidentally ends up on gay dating app

as an ally

matches with petelgeuse there

as an ally

has sex with him

as an ally

tries to think how exactly he is gonna tell reinhard that he has a new grandma now so he is forgiven

(that was a joke)

so reinhard comes to the manor/apartment/penthouse with regulus

and regulus and petelgeuse recognise each other because of course they do! they are colleagues! (or were something more? who know)

well now this is awkward

do you think somebody gets murdered here

credits roll

scene after credits: emilia finds out that her dead aunt and her somewhat-uncle who went out for milk years ago are actually both alive in complicated relationship and working in the coffeeshop-slash-money-laundering-scheme-slash-sect

[mikomikono]

hi miko! im here with a fic writing question… i was thinking about how to make smut good bc recently i feel like whenever i get to the smut part of the fic im writing i get super bored, like im just rehashing whatever ive been writing in every smut scene ive done for years. you and endles came to mind bc i always find your guys nsfw scenes really compelling, and great, and unique. while also being hot and fun (very important w smut!!) so i wanted to ask if you had any tips for keeping things exciting or fresh when you are tackling those scenes! especially because you guys have experience writing the same characters many times over and manage to be so creative and distinct with every scene ive read from you. so, i guess, penny for your thoughts, if you feel like it! (sorry for sending this only to you and asking for both your opinions, it was the simplest 😭. if u want to answer yourself only thats fine haha)

❤️

Heyyyy oh my god I never expected to become someone ppl would come to for writing advice, what an honour 💖 also, I hope you don't mind me answering publicly, bc I feel like this is something a lit of writers struggle with! I will put it under a cut tho, bc I ended up writing quite a bit oops

So. Smut. It's kinda funny you should ask me about that, bc the first proper sex scene I ever wrote was last year for Steamship Sexcapades (bc I am not counting that one feeble attempt at 19 that was so cringe that I hid it away and didn't even think about trying again for like 8 yrs) but I suppose after writing *checks The Canon word count* a lot since then means something :DD

Here's the thing: I also feel like I'm rehashing things. Constantly. There's only so many ways you can say "cock in hole ➡️ thrust" before you're gonna have to repeat some phrases. And honestly, I feel like I repeat phrases remarkably often! But in a way that's all writing! (or that's how I stop myself from getting too depressed about it lol) The readers don't notice! Usually. And as long as you don't use the exact same wording every single time.

Ok, so here's a few tips on what I, personally, think you need to make a good sex scene:

Don't be afraid of the words. Y'know, the first time I wrote "half-hard cock" I (allegedly) had to take a 10min break and texted a friend that I was not going to be able to do this. But after a while you sort of get used to it and the words that seemed embarrassing stop being that, and become just... Words. And you also shouldn't shy away from more "cringe" words! Sometimes its fun to be a little cringe!

Related, you should try to love the words. But that's just good general writing advice, I feel.

Describe the emotions. Most people feel... something towards those they are intimate with, and that should be true in erotica too. It should be especially true in erotica, I think! Even if it's a one night stand, strangers who met in the club 5mins ago, whatever... You want the characters to feel.

Don't forget the physical. This is a thing that might seem a bit... weird. Like, you're writing sex, how could it not be physical? But what I mean is that you shouldn't forget to describe how it feels to the people involved, most notably your POV character. It's very easy to get lost in describing what they're doing and completely forget to get into the actual feeling. You're not writing a sex manual! And I have read fics where half way through I realise that's what it sounds like.

It's never just about the sex. Even if you think it is, it's not. It's about the connection, the narrative, the characterisation... It's about showing something that you can only show through the kind of vulnerable intimacy that sex scenes provide. Even if it's a oneshot pwp, it still has something to say. Maybe that something is wanting to get your rocks off, but also we're talking about fanfiction... We don't read and write that just to get off. It's always about the characters.

Rehashing is fine, actually. As I said, there's only so many ways to describe certain things, and so many ways you can have sex. Except that's not really true, because the secret to keeping it fresh is mixing it up! You can change positions, you can change who's the top/bottom, you can add foreplay (you should) and then change what kind of foreplay you wanna have! You can look into kinks! You can change locations! (I know we've done that a lot) You can add or remove any number of things to make each individual encounter different! And that's the key: repetition is fine, so long as you don't use the exact same everything every time. Case in point, there is a tumblr post which I would link except I'm on mobile, that is titled sth like "list of vocal sounds for smut", which has a list of, well, sounds/verbs (moan, groan, hiss, whimper, whisper etc) and adjectives that could be paired with them (hoarse, needy, quiet, throaty, desperate, wanton etc). The point is, that the best way to keep from sounding repetitive is to mix and match the words so that even if you say "groan" five times in 5k words, it's a different kind of groan every time. The same applies to sex acts! Do you have any idea how much cock Ryunosuke has sucked during The Canon? A lot. But it doesn't feel repetitive (hopefully) because everything else around it is switched up.

And perhaps most importantly: you gotta be at least a little horny for it yourself. I get it, man, writing smut is weird. You sit in front of your computer, staring at the monitor like "hmm is it better to use the word cock or dick or member?" And like... That's not very sexy. But! But!!! At the end of the day you gotta write something that makes you excited! Otherwise what's the point? Why are you writing if it doesn't fulfill you on some level??

Anyway, that's just my thoughts on the matter. If you want more specific help with writing, you can always DM me, I don't mind~

Also, endles says she is too mentally exhausted to properly answer, but she seconds everything I said, especially the point about loving the words. Actually she really wants to say sth about that, so I'm paraphrasing her for the rest of this:

You, as a writer, should love language. You should love the neat little things that language can do and seek out new things to try every time. It's a journey of discovery! Just like sex is always a new journey, even if it's the same characters and the same sex acts, every individual time is a chance to find something new. Let yourself have fun! Write something really stupid and work from that. The way I create scenes by writing jokes, even for serious scenes, because sex at the core is kinda funny. You're standing naked (at least partially) in front of this other naked person and it makes you feel a bit funny.

Also concrete advice: pick a list of 5-10 words you want to use. They can be anything, verbs, nouns, adjectives, as long as you really, really vibe with them, because they make you happy, as long as they're not words you already use a lot. They can also all relate to the same theme if you want! And then find a way to put all those words in.

[cfr749]

I’m always ecstatic when I see alerts come through that you’ve updated Beneath Your Beautiful.

Thank you so much for such a wonderful story! Like all of your stories before it, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading and re-reading it. I selfishly wish that you’d take Chenford out to play more frequently, but, I will take what I can get.

I wondered if you would share about this story’s length. Initially the chapter count was less and I’m just curious about if something changed after you started writing it.

Did it follow the course that you always intended or was there something that came about after you started writing it that you wanted to explore?

Sorry for the weird ask. Just interested to know about your inspiration for this story and how it evolved in to what it’s become. 🥰

Thank you!

Hi anon!

Not a weird ask at all - just ridiculously kind and so sweet! I’m honored you’re interested enough to ask!

In terms of length, I never in a bazillion years expected (or wanted) this fic to be as long as it’s gotten. Not sure what it is about this world that sucked me in and had me writing so much, but here we are 😊

I think I've generally stayed true to the major beats and spirit of the story I was hoping to tell, but, at the same time, I also made some major changes along the way that had a massive ripple effect.

Lucy’s panic attack in the caves, the Redwood inspired needle incident, the virus situation are just a few examples of moments I inserted on the fly that ultimately fed into the biggest change which was the emotional pacing.

Tim ended up realizing his feelings for Lucy and deciding he wanted to try and make it work with her way earlier than I had originally intended. I think this actually happened because of how intense the reaction was to what Tim did to Lucy the morning after they slept together in Mexico. I remember reading comments that were like 'I don't even want Lucy to take him back!' that made me realize just how much work I had in front of me, so Tim didn't get to be an aloof dickhead for nearly as long as I had originally planned.

In the original draft, the reveal about Lucy’s past and what happened with Rosalind / Caleb was the turning point where Tim finally woke up and realized how little he actually knew about Lucy and what a total and complete knob he was being... lol.

Snippet from the original scene:

"I’m so sorry, Tim. That must have been so awful." And there’s something in her expression as she says it — an earnestness — that tells him she’s not just saying the words because she is supposed to, but that she truly means them.  He blinks, surprised at the warmth that is blooming in his chest in response to her kindness and understanding. And though he doesn’t mean the next words as a jab, he knows immediately that they come out sounding like one based on her reaction, “So yeah. My reasons for doing this are a little more complicated than going on a bad date.” She jerks back as if she’s been slapped, sucking in a surprised breath. The warmth and concern for him in her eyes fades so quickly that Tim has to do a double take.  He stops immediately, the realization that, in actuality, he knows very, very little about her reasons for being here, and the certainty that there is far more to it than just a bad date sinking in his stomach like a block of cement.  She’s blinking rapidly, and as usual, her eyes are so expressive. He swallows seeing the distress and pain there. “Lucy, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have —“ Her voice is icy when she responds, and on some level it makes Tim respect her even more, how fierce she is even when it’s clear she’s upset, “In my defense, it was a pretty fucking terrible date.” She says bitterly. “My last date was with a serial killer, so yeah, I’ve had kind of a hard time getting back out there.” His jaw drops open in disbelief, surely she must be joking. But there’s no humor in her expression at all. Just a cold detachment that he’s never seen from her before. This woman who has basically been a nonstop explosion of sunshine is suddenly not at all who he thought she was.  “I — uh. I’m sorry — I didn’t know.” He fumbles over his words as she stares back at him. “Lucy, I -" He reaches for her, and the way she immediately pulls away from him cuts him to his very core. She had come into this, open and willing to trust him, give him the benefit of the doubt, and he had obliterated that.  Her eyes are wary, “I think I’m just going to call it a night.” He swallows, inexplicably feeling a lump in his throat like he’s going to cry, like he’s so royally fucked something up, failed to even bother to get to know and understand this woman, to see that there is so much more than just a bubbly and cheerful girl.  He simply nods, and watches her back as she walks away from him.

From there, Tim being there for Lucy after Jackson would have been another foundational building block that brought them closer together, and Tim wouldn't have told Lucy he loved her until she was breaking up with him on Decision Day...

So not exactly what I had planned, but I think I'm pretty okay with how things have turned out (assuming, of course, I finish this story sometime in the next 3-5 years).

Thanks so much for the ask, anon! Your kind words are so, so appreciated ❤️❤️❤️

[gggoldfinch]

At this point I've given up, like I go find the oldest, crustiest, most ancient fics with no tags and read them. At first it rattled me but man this is the same with books. Books have no tags and we read them. It's been like this for centuries. Stop stressing the authors.

RIGHTTTTT like,,,,,, I’ve seen people on tiktok (and on here unfortunately) being like “☝🏻🤓 I only read fics with high kudos and high hits” LIKE FUCKING ! WHAT !! We’re on completely different levels of fandom experience rn my guy. I saw a vid recently discussing the mainstreaming of fandom culture particularly in 2020 (i.e. the people who would’ve bullied me in middle school for being weird joining fandom spaces) and how that pipelined into the actual fandom weirdos being ostracized in their native habitats and. it’s so true lowkey…

Like, I hate to say it but a lot of mainstream fandoms I feel really don’t like ?? value the art of writing so much as they do the “content creation” ? Some of—if not all—the best fics I’ve ever read have been for weird fandoms or unpopular characters, often with very little interaction on them. In my decade+ worth of fandom experience, non-mainstream and non-“normal” fandoms and authors tend to actually enjoy fandom more and value the art in it over the clout. It’s kinda a double-edged sword in that way because on one hand the authors have to contend with overly critical readers, but on the other you can find authors who are solely in it for the clout of massive interaction numbers rather than being in it for the love of the game.

Dgmw you can enjoy your ooc marvel fic where the author is sniveling for mercy in the notes lest they get cancelled by the fandom, but don’t come into fandom spaces that aren’t like that and expect the same content and treatment 💀 it’s gotten to the point where I just don’t bother reading stuff from fandoms like that anymore because more often than not the content is just not up to my standards 😭

Tags are a very good thing for a site like ao3, where you can filter whatever you like, but imo (at the risk of sounding too insensitive) some of the shit I’ve seen does not need to be tagged in the way it is 😭 I was being deadass when I said in the previous post that I just saw an author in the notes nervously giving their justification for the inclusion of a consensual clothes ripping scene. LIKE WHAT WORLD ARE WE KNOW RN LMFOAJJDKFLFL

And PLS don’t get me started on the “tagging” and “troping” of books 😭 the tiktokification of everything needs to end 😭 intellectualism is not a bad thing guys, some of you are just media illiterate 😭 Like obviously if a book contains a triggering topic I hope you find out about it before picking it up… but there are ways of learning the contents of a book that don’t include them having actual tags like a fanfic. go on goodreads, look up reviews… hnnnghgg

ANNNYYWAYYYY support authors and don’t be fucking weird ❤️ go read old fics or unpopular fics because you might find a gem ❤️ go read books ❤️

[lord-squiggletits]

A very basic ask, but do you have any Megatron ships other than MegOP?

And I might as well ask, what are some platonic Megatron pairings you enjoy? Like Megatron&Impactor or Megatron&Soundwave.

Mmmmmmmm not any that really come to mind honestly, I can see other people having a one-side hatemance thing for Megatron (think your typical Overlord, Tarn, etc) but for IDW1 in particular I can't imagine him having had many, if any, romantic relationships in his life. I do kinda ship romantic MegaImpactor but even then I lean more towards FWB or just keeping it completely platonic.

Platonic Megatron pairings I enjoy in general though:

Megatron & Impactor: Literally my favorite IDW Megatron friendship and I eat these two's interactions like candy, desperate for more, unfortunately canon only gave us like 3 scenes of them interacting or having thoughts about one another and it's very sad. u.u

Megatron & Arcee: This is one that completely has no canon basis for it (in terms of "these two haven't even met in canon") but I thought of them for a particular fic WIP and now I can't stop yearning for friendship interactions between them. I just think that Arcee is good for Megatron because she's not intimidated or impressed by him, plus is a seasoned warrior which Megatron tends to respect. Whereas Megatron would respect Arcee as a person and not see her as some sort of weirdo freak like everyone else. I think they could both bond over their warrior-like traits and also the ways that they've experienced and are trying to break out of the Cybertronian cycle of violence.

Megatron & Ravage: Their interactions in MTMTE rotated so fast in my brain that I ended up adding that relationship into my fic Pay Unto Evil. I just really like that Megatron and Ravage have enough closeness that Megatron is willing to confide his true, innermost thoughts to him (such as his reason for becoming an Autobot), but there's still enough distance between them due to Ravage idolizing Megatron as THE HEART of the Decepticons, that it's not a true friendship of equals with no strings attached. I do really enjoy that angst of how it's "not quite" a friendship, where Ravage is almost a toxic influence not able to accept the new person Megatron wants to be, but he's also one of the few genuine emotional connections Megatron HAS.

Megatron & Ratchet: Especially in a MegOP context, I just think that Ratchet makes a good addition because of the way Ratchet is so unimpressed and snarky towards Megatron. I think in general I think IDW Megatron's best friendships would be with people who aren't impressed with him and/or see through the bullshit that he puts on

Other platonic or other types of interactions I really like with Megatron:

Skids roasting the shit out of Megatron for wearing the Autobot badge but not actually changing his behavior at all

Megatron's brief interactions with Bumblebee that were literally the catalyst for him choosing to become an Autobot???? It's a damn shame we never got to see them interact again

Terminus' weird mentorship thing with Megatron that also has very suspicious/ulterior motives is so fucking good as a Megatron backstory slkdfjsldkkjlfs

[mytardisisparked]

20 Writer Questions

Was tagged by @emilie786!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

I currently have 46! I have a couple sittin' in the crockpot tho hehe.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

164,375

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Historically, I have written for Star Wars and Star Trek. Right now I am writing for The X-Files :)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

My top 5 are all older fics of mine: "When Sunrise Comes Early," "From the Depths of My Two Brain Cells," "The Voyager Bunch," "Ex Equis Scientia," "I'll Always be Around, Wherever Life Takes You"

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmmmm hard to say because I tend to end even my angstiest fics on a hopeful note.... I guess maybe "Night Visions?" Or, I'm sure there's a one-shot back in Ye Olde Star Wars collections somewhere that was extra angsty, but I am not going back to read those right now because I have neither the time nor fortitude.

However, I will be publishing something during Merry Month of Cohen that is p angsty so keep an eye out for that he he :)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, hard to say because I end almost all of my fics on a happy/hopeful note. I feel like maybe "Blessed Be The Man?" I really liked the way that one ended.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. I've had some... aggressive? comments before that bordered on rude, but they never seemed to be coming from a place of hate. Usually, it's just people who enjoyed the story but made the presumption of telling me an element they had wished was different in a way that was not very politely worded. I don't take a lot of offense to it. I'm not popular or controversial enough to get actual hate comments lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nah bro. I get giggly and weird when writing a kiss scene; what the characters do beyond that is none of my business lol.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really? I tried writing a Star Trek Voyager/Star Wars crossover once but never finished it because it was not clicking. Other than that,,,,,,,, I guess @well-and-true and I keep having our Treksonas do holodeck programs based on The X-Files, which hasn't really been ficced (yet) but it's fun to imagine! Lots of shenanigans.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not in the manner that this question is asking, but I do consider the AI scrapping stuff to be theft and I'm not cool about it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! With @emilie786.

I've also done a LOT of idea bouncing with @baylardo @jellybeansarecool @elephant-in-the-pride-parade @maliciousalice @well-and-true and, while it hasn't turned into official co-writing (yet :]), their ideas and conversations and artwork have all been *deeply* valuable acts of collaboration. It's not co-writing in the official AO3 sense, but their words of encouragement and ideas are inseparably woven into almost all of my works from the last couple years.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I am very much impacted by the ole Hyperfixations so my favorite ship will almost always be whatever I am currently obsessed with. I never stop loving ships though. They are always lurking in the back of my mind. And sometimes they cycle back to the front. (right now I am DEEP in the MSR pit hehehe)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ummmmmm I outlined an extremely ambitious fic based on the Threshold!AU that would be multichap to the extreme and I LOVE it a whole lot but I am not sure I will ever have the fortitude or attention span to actually write the whole thing. I want to so bad.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like the way I write movement and nonverbal comm. I also like my dialogue, once I get a good understanding of the way a character talks (it can take a bit).

Aside from that, I like my comedy. I love love love writing comedy. I love the beat of it, I love the nitty-gritty of correctly timing it, I love that it can be dry or slapstick or subtle or witty, I love that it can be situational. I'm not a perfect comedy writer, but it's a shoe that fits me well and, IMO, I continue to fit better and better as I learn and practice.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

HOO BOY well,,,, lately I feel like I have been struggling with "show don't tell." IDK why. I also hate how often I start sentences with "He" or "She" and I wrestle with finding more interesting ways of beginning sentences. I mostly write short-form fics, but I am working on a multi-chap fic right now and I have discovered that longform plots can be difficult to wrangle. I just wanna skip the "plot" and get to the good stuff (the significant character scenes).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If I could I would.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Way back in Yonder Years of fanfiction.net, I wrote for Marvel. Specifically, Captain America and Agent Carter. You will never find them.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

And Still, The Sea is Salt. I wrote it 2 years ago and it is still, IMO, my best work. It's a little more.... niche? of a ship and fandom (Pike/Una, Star Trek SNW) but I liked the story I told and the way I told it. And the poem I incorporated into it.

I also really liked my very first Star Trek: Enterprise fic, "Parent-Teacher Association," because I felt like I nailed the characterization and (as prev mentioned) I LOVE writing comedy.

This was fun! Tagging: @singeart, @elephant-in-the-pride-parade @jellybeansarecool @gaitwae @more-better-words @jenksel and anyone else who wants to

[un-local]

15, 17, 18?

15. Do you foresee any personal or professional obstacles this year, that would keep you from creating fanworks? 

Ha, lol. Nothing will stop me. But I suppose I can admit some things may get in my way lol. For example:

Finding out I actually got into grad school

my HellJob worsens my burnout to the point that BG3 isn’t enough to fix it (god forbid) (it’s working so far… but let’s not jinx it, lol.)

Any number of possible family ordeals coming to pass. (Collapse, Reunion, Reunion destabilizing the system enough to cause Collapse…) (I know that’s vague, but I don’t want to elaborate more than that. TLDR: it’s a delicate ecosystem at times. But there’s no sense in worrying. Suffering ahead is suffering twice, or whatever.)

Truth is, 2023 was the year life really found new ways to fuck me up. And I still posted plenty nonetheless… so I wouldn’t worry too much. I’m nothing if not hardy. Like a scrappy little tundra plant 👍 (But if you’re the type see fanwork as merely content… then I guess you’ll be waiting longer than you like. Sorry. Can’t be helped.)

17. Do you typically answer all comments/reviews individually? Do you plan to change the way you interact with your readers this year?

Yes, I do answer everything—I love it. I plan to keep it that way until the end of time. If you left me an ask or a comment on AO3, I absolutely plan on answering it! (In fact, I have one I’m formulating a response to right now)

18. Do you typically post multi-chapters as you write, or finish it all and then start posting? Would you like to change your posting method? 

Oh, I have a weird workflow. It goes something like this: 

Draft a rough major outline for the fic as a whole. Barebones, plot skeleton. For SWRD, this is done. ✓

Go in and add in the fine details and emotional moments. The substance, if you will. With the way I write canon divergence, this is where it gets sticky: lots of rearranging, and setup for future divergences/characterizations here. Since I go past what canon gives us, it means I want to watch my footing and step carefully, so to speak.

Fill in the scenes with real words. The easy part! Mostly. 

For steps 2 and 3, I work in “sets” of chapters. So I have about 3 or 4 in the works right now. They might be on the longer side. 

Mostly, it’s about getting the emotional arcs balanced with the onset of Rogier’s true decline right now. And sowing seeds for their future dealings with Ranni post-Nokron 👍

Would I like to change it? Nah. It gives me time to think, so I can (hopefully) end up with something coherent. More free time would be nice tho… XD

Thanks for the ask anon, Happy New Year! 🎉

Send me a number!

[belle--ofthebrawl]

@anotherghoul666 I AM STILL CONSUMED BY THIS TRILOGY I RE READ IT SO MUCH. It has me in such a fierce chokehold. Melisande??? The Bridge Scene in the 2nd book??? THE THIRD BOOK ENDING LIKE THAT?? Keeping things vague in case anyone wants to read it and doesn't want spoilers. AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! I've only met one other person who's read it so I am VERY EXCITED RIGHT NOW :D !!!

And here's the Music Eras of my life. Mostly. Thank you for the tag again! I should probably figure out how to do a read more on mobile one of these days.

First song/artist you remember liking: We were a pretty strict household in terms of music, so probably some kind of religious hymn of I'm being entirely honest. I was permitted whatever played on the Christian radio station. I think the first CD I ever got was Hilary Duff from a cousin!

Middle school anthem: Still not allowed much variety in music...but I had my very first crush on someone who's nickname was "Bumblebee" so when I found Bambi's - Bumblebee, I thought it was a sign.

Road Trip Must Have: Dragonstea din Tai. No explanation needed. If you can't handle me at my numa numa then you don't deserve me anywhere else on my music taste. I will be generous in case I'm traveling with a metalhead and put on the Feuerschanz version. I found them on TikTok recently and they are delightful.

Guilty Pleasure Artist: I second the opinion about nothing being "cringe", but there are a few considered so just because of the fan base around it being weird teenagers. Who cares. Teen years are for being really weird and finding out who you are so you can refine that weirdness blob into a fun personality. I got really into Vocaloid and honestly? A lot of it still hits. And (about to show my entire ass here) Homestuck music. (Gold Pilot 👍) If you know, you know and I don't have to explain myself. We have An Understanding. The Undertale OST by Toby Fox as well by extension. (Bless everyone who got us Muffet and Spider Dance.)

know all the lyrics to: The entirety of the Electra Heart album. I view Lana del Rey gays with mild fascination. Same genus, different species.

A song that makes you cry: Respite on the Spitalfields has hit different since the Ritual back in September. It came on shuffle as I left: We're leaving the city/So this is farewell/ as I merged on the interstate and the tears would not stop coming as I careened down the highway, screaming myself hoarse. How I didn't get into an accident, I will NEVER know.

A song to yell to: Amon Amarth has slowly crept their way into my playlist and I'm very fond of screaming to any of their songs in my car before I put on my "Respectable and Closed Off Worksona"... I really like Heidrun and Shield Wall! So I was really happy to see those pop up in my shuffle game!

Current favorite music video: I'm still obsessed with the animation for Autoheart's Hellbent. My gender crisis has been over for a while but that's what the beginning of it looked like back in high school.

Current favorite Band: Ghost/Sleep Token/ Amon Amarth/Please don't make me narrow it down any further.

If I had to listen to one song for the rest of my life: That would suck. Do I really have to answer it? Alright fine. EXEC_FLIP_ARPHAGE/. - Shikata Akiko from the Ar Tonelico 3 soundtrack. Only because there WAS a period of time where I listened to it on repeat for a week straight. It's my happy song.

Stuck on repeat: Moscow - Autoheart, because it's the designated song of a very fluffy SwissAlps fic I have about 700 words on. It's also another happy song of mine.

Would Kill to see them live/Again: I have Ritual tickets so. No murder. But if Sleep Token comes my way? Watch out. Also would like to see In This Moment, Halestorm, The Pretty Reckless, Dorothy, Autoheart. Ke$ha. Mad Gallica if she ever gets her stageshow dream come true. Would like to go to more concerts in general.

[localplaguenurse]

Hello it's me again here to yell at you some more about gold as ginkgo because WHAT IS YOUR WRITING???? OMG I'm at ch23 already and so much has happened fcvhbjknklml amazing storytelling!!

Now this is gonna get a biiiit personal mayhaps sorry if that makes you uncomfy maybe?? But I just want to express how much I *adore* the way you portray the protag's anxiety and particularly the internal conflict of coming out of a toxic relationship.

this paragraph, this one in particular got me literally crying. I kid you not I started weeping and then went to talk to my besties because it's so real it hit me so hard. I'm sorry many people can relate of course but I in particular I'm just coming out (~5 months or so) of a 12+ year old toxic relationship and I've been struggling SO HARD, really so hard. And that made me feel validated, that made me feel like yes it's a thing it's normal. (I too had straight up panic attacks that left me with hands shaking and crying)

It looks eerily a lot like something I'd told my best friend weeks ago

anyway idk I just want to say your writing is amazing, the pacing, the characterization. I love that wifey doesn't just "get over" things or "get better" int he way it's usually portrayed, it's organic and slow and she falls back into negative thoughts and stutters and gets anxious but they ARE getting better in the little things, in the confidence, in the healing, in the feeling comfortable.

And it's not just that, the social anxiety, the nonbinary struggle, the feel that you're annoying others and have to be hyper independent never asking for help. I may not fully relate to all of them but you do make them important on the story and I feel like you portray them all so well.

And Gods, Morax/Zhongli is so nice lmao <3 need me a partner like that //hit that is SUPER self-indulgent love it. He's all kind and patient and loving and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ;w; I love him your honor <3<3<3

Aaaaanyway loved their outing to the city, love Li Lei's character, loved wifey slowly growing out of their shell, love Morax fucking crashing injured in the middle of the night during a storm and Xiao and the panic and everything, the whole dealing with the Abbes CHILL MAN LITERALL CHILLS OMG. Love the golden smoke yes it is your signature ehe <3

(as a side note, I remember a lot of chapters ago this scene with Morax commenting about a storm incoming and then dissapearing and I was like.... is this some weird ass mandela effect or am I crazy bc I specifically remember this lore of dragons getting horny during the rain but NAAAHHH NO WAY the fic isn't going on that direction Crys pls chill your horny brain BUT THEN HAHAHAHA GUESS WHO WAS LOWKEY RIGHT??? I DID READ EYE OF THE STORM TOO TO BE FAIR. Also on the same line of my horny brain so sorry for this but wigey being so asdfcvhbnjmk about praise and compliment has me going PRAISE KINK PRAISE KINK MORAX PLS!!!!//HIT)

ok that's enough this got way too long I apologize I got emotional n cried again I LOVE YOUR FIC!!!!!

I am going to get emotional, I'm getting the like heavy feeling in my eyes of "oh tears! may be soon!"

I'm also gonna get a little personal because it also ties in with the fic and just, y'know, if we're sharing then I'm gonna share too.

I've said numerous times that wifey's experiences with anxiety stem from my own. I was also writing this fic during a few very difficult parts of my life so I really leaned HARD into those aspects of their character. Something I also mentioned a few times is that I used to write stuff on wattpad, I got burnt out, and then I didn't post fic for five years (which now that I think of it, technically not true because I did post some things on amino back in high school, but y'know). I never really stopped writing, though. Gave me room to experiment and because I'm A) a lifelong fan of the dark and macabre (even though I'm actually a bit of a chicken baby), and B) very depressed/anxious, naturally I leaned more into darker writing. I liked to make it a point of writing happy endings but I would put my charcters through the fucking wringer.

I was also a huge people pleaser in high school that didn't know how to make friends aside from the ones I already had. You can imagine how fucking devastated I was when one day, fuckin completely out of the blue, I was booted from my friend group. I only had like five friends and I kept two of them after that shit. One of those friends was a girl I had known since first grade. For the next two years right up until covid hit I was like "well fuck, Charlotte, guess you've only got two friends now. It's only a matter of time before they get sick of you too." It took me maybe a year for me to realize it wasn't my fault that the people I trusted turned out to be shitty, and it wasn't until like a year or two ago that I was able to actually open up and talk about that shit because I've been terrified to actually be vulnerable with people since then.

That's only like some of my damage, I've also got the eldest daughter and "ah fuck I think I'm undiagnosed neurodivergent" trauma. Two for one combo! Love it here!

So, yeah, I got pretty good at writing and specifically writing about people dealing with toxic relationships. Part of it is venting, part of it is wanting to raise awareness for these things, and part of it is just, idk, I like writing this stuff. I'll write whatever if it's interesting enough.

Anyways, thank you so much!!! There's more I could go on about but that's spoilers, so I just wanna say I'm really really happy you like what I've done! Put my heart and soul into this baby. Also yes this is horrifically self indulgent lmao, this fic was like entirely catered to me and my beta reader and apparently everyone else is into it.

I hope your day or night is well, whatever time it is where you are!

[heroes-fading]

🌻🌈💌

for the ask game!!! also rest love <33333

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

so i actually did give up on writing for about a solid six years. life happened, at the time writing was an outlet for a lot of unpleasant stuff in my life i had no control over, so once the locus of control moved inwards i felt like i didn't "need" it anymore. after watching episode 8 of the last of us i literally could not stop thinking about it. there was no reddit thread, no podcast episode, nothing that could scratch that itch i hadn't felt in so long. i started reading fic again (and i remember very fondly embarassed and admitting that i got back into reading fic again and my husband was like "haha how long until you write it again" and i was like "I'M NOT" and well two days later i said sure).

getting back into it has been the biggest surprise and i think a part of me has always missed it and forgotten how much i LOVED writing. i made a joke to my therapist the other day of "oh, now i don't write romantic fanfiction because i'm fufilled in that department, but my daddy issues...oh daddy issues are FOREVER" and it's a joke but it's a true joke.

having a piece of yourself you can write about in some way, something that hits at something for all of us and maybe is why we're all in this space of community together, has been so special. i love writing so much, i love characterization, i love getting into the heads of these characters, i love community with folks and these feelings.

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

inordinary was very special and weird for me because it lived in my head for about two weeks before i ever put anything down for it. i started imagining it in the gym on the goddamn treadmill with headphones on and i was like "okay musicians au that's silly i don't think i could make that work" and while on a work trip i just starting writing notes in margins and laying in a hotel bed and just. thinking about it. running circles in my head about it. and eventually i gave up and wrote about half of it on the plane ride home. i was like "this will be weird. people won't like it. but my brain will not shut the fuck up about it, so, fine"

so the fact that people did like and resonate with it, that people took that leap of faith there, means a whole lot to me <3

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

lmao i'm gonna be real the drive has been empty, it's been so chaotic with work + travel i've had a dry well. BUT. i have had some things lingering around, ideas i'm not sure i'll flesh out more (do we need another modern foster care au? i'm unsure) but here's something:

no idea what i'm doing with it, maybe nothing, maybe something

THANK YOU <3

[amtrak12]

Ooph, calling my current fic struggles “middle book syndrome” is just... Too Accurate. I don’t like it. I don’t want it to feel like a middle book! I want it to be a good story!

Though, I do understand that the true purpose of Books 2 and 3 are to entertain the readers who aren’t ready to leave my world behind. Because Book 1 honestly can stand entirely on its own! I don’t need sequels! I designed it that way on purpose because I have the epilogue of toddler Rory returning home to a changed timeline so the reader knows the happy ending. What they don’t know is how we got there. They don’t need to know that. It really doesn’t matter. But I thought it would be fun to explore Lucifer and Chloe taking the long way to meet back up with their daughter, because the last we see of S3 Lucifer and Chloe is them grief-stricken over saying goodbye to their daughter.

And by god I want to explore that grief. This isn’t like canon where Chloe is already pregnant with Rory when they say goodbye to their adult daughter. This is S3. It’s going to be years before they see her again. YEARS. They had their toddler daughter for two months! They were fully adjusted to being coparents and now their daughter is just -- gone. I want to eat that angst with a spoon like it’s ice cream with chocolate syrup and rainbow sprinkles. It’s fucking delicious!

There’s also the fun awkwardness of them still not being a romantic couple but they know they’re going to have a daughter in the future. That’s not going to put any weird pressure on them that will mess with their heads! :P And I want to explore that too, so that’s the other purpose of the sequels. Just allowing me to continue playing in this universe. It is purely self-indulgent for both me and the readers.

Doesn’t mean I want it to suffer middle book syndrome, though. I do think the grief exploration will make it compelling enough to not feel like a middle book. The real problem comes from incorporating the S4 plot into this. Sure I could ignore it, obviously. But I’ve decided I do want Lucifer to have to go back to Hell for a bit, because I absolutely adore the idea of Book 3 opening with it being a year exactly before Rory is meant to be born, and Lucifer’s not on Earth. That sounds delicious and is perfect given that the final scene of the series will be Chloe learning she’s pregnant. Now the main plot of Book 3 is them trying to confirm the timeline has been changed because they both want to ensure Lucifer will be there to raise Rory. They have no idea the timeline has already changed. All they know is the few things Rory mentioned have all happened. So they focus on stopping the one thing that hasn’t happened yet: Dan’s death. (Hence the title: Save the Douche, Save the World.) (The readers will already know Dan lives thanks to Book 1′s epilogue but that’s not the point. The point is the characters don’t know that.)

So, yeah I need the demon invasion still and I’m actually good with keeping the rabid priest and his prophecy because I’m moving up Chloe learning she’s a gift from God to the S4 era in this series, and prophecies mesh well with free will struggles from a thematic standpoint. Eve comes back to Earth for this too. Her storyline will obviously go differently from canon but I’m not sure exactly what journey it takes yet. So that’s some of the cloudiness I’m dealing with. I also want to foreshadow Michael’s push to become God, but it is going to stay at foreshadowing. I thought about pulling him into a more active role early, but I’ve ruled that out now.

... Though if I’m having Abel be the first soul to make it from Hell to Heaven... and that’s happening in Book 1.... Maybe I don’t need a demon invasion to pull Lucifer back to Hell....

Okay thank you everyone for letting me talk to thin air! I now have something productive to think about! :D