#THIS IS A WEEKEND TREAT TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAD A TOUGH WORK WEEK ☺️☺️☺️ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

heesimp · 2 months ago

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tasty (heeseung)

summary: it’s not your week and it doesn’t seem like the semester will ease up on you as time flies by, but your best friend is here to help in more ways than one.

word count: 5.6K

notes: based off of this request. thank you anon! I probably won’t open a taglist at this time but I’ll let you know if I do when I post other fics. XX

warnings: reader touches herself, porn mentions, vibrator mention, phone sex, oral (f. receiving), dirty talking, mentions of heeseung with other girls, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex.

“You sure you don’t want to go out with us?”

Your co-workers stare at you while you try to push down any simmer irritation. They’re not to blame, but pestering you to go out to a bar and get drunk when all you want to do is go home, is making you even more irritated. They mean no harm and look at you with sorry eyes.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you tell them. Luckily for you, they nod and accept your decline. “Thanks for the invite though.”

“Well if you change your mind, you know where to find us.”

In typical twenty-something-year-old fashion, certain days feel longer than most. Today is no exception. It’s hard to navigate the woes of landing on your feet when you’re wrapped up in midterm projects and trying to have a social life without throwing yourself off balance. When the semester started, you were nothing other than a happy-go-lucky, fourth-year university student who was excited to finish college and take the first step towards “real life.” Unfortunately for you, your days would get tough before you’d see it to the finish line.

The ride back to your apartment isn’t long by any means but the traffic from your job at a convenience store was met with rush hour. The bus took much longer than usual but you always anticipate that when you’re scheduled until 5pm. Everybody’s going home at the same time and even public transportation falls victim to the hustle and bustle of corporate life.

On your way home, you can’t help but linger on the inconveniences of the recent past. Midterms have snuck up on you like they do every year and no amount of studying into the night could ever prepare you for the stress that comes with obsessing over good grades for five separate classes. It kills you that no two tests weigh the same and preparing for projects feels like you’re signing a death sentence. You’ve barely seen your friends aside from in passing and haven’t had any time to take care of yourself and have fun.

It feels as though you’ve lost all motivation because school and work has sucked the energy right out of you. Even your best friend, Lee Heeseung, has started to soften up around you because he can tell how stressed you are. If anything, the amount of unread texts from him and your absence in his physical life is a telltale sign that school is kicking your ass, but he knows you always bounce back. You know you will too, but right now it feels like it’ll take too long to get there.

The first thing you do is take all of your clothes off and settle them in the dirty hamper and take a shower, cleaning off the grime from a long day outside of your bedroom. Your hair is clean and your skin feels silk to the touch when you step out and dry yourself. It takes a great deal of effort to follow through on your skincare routine and tidy up your room so that it doesn’t feel like an overwhelming mess the more you look at it. Today sucked. There’s no doubt about that.

Eventually, the clock turns into a late hour after you’ve had dinner and a sweet treat to make up for the awfully long and boring day you had. The week drains on you and you’re looking forward to the weekend because that means you don’t have to work. After settling in bed with the television on, you try your best to let your worries escape you and focus on what’s in front of you.

Whether the show is too boring or you’re too worked up, you don’t know. The TV is long forgotten as you aimlessly scroll through your phone and start pushing your thighs together and clench around absolutely nothing when you log into a Twitter account you don’t post on. It must be out of habit to act like this when you see the familiar username because it’s where you keep your porn stash for when you need to get off. There’s everything you could ever want–short videos, photos, and links to other websites that always gets you off. The long day has made you think about how you need at least a single win in order for this week to not completely suck. Bringing yourself to orgasm might be the way to do it.

You spread your legs underneath the covers and take a finger to tease up your slit that’s covered by your panties and hold your phone in your free hand, using your thumb to scroll past the plethora of videos that turn you on. It’s all about finding the right one, and seeing big dicks and wet pussies makes you worked up. You start to forget about the week and consider that a good start.

Moving your finger against your covered pussy always makes you wet. You imagine it’s someone else teasing you the way you like it and pretend you don’t need to move a muscle to get off. Swiping the tips of your fingers back and forth makes you soak through the pathetic fabric anyway, and the excitement of your arousal makes you gush right onto your panties.

You scroll through them one by one and pull your panties to the side to feel just how wet you’ve become and moan quietly as the feeling of your slicked up walls. Pushing a finger inside, the welcomed sensation is exactly what you needed after a hard week. You add two, then three, and pump them in and out of you with your legs bent towards your chest. It should be an easy orgasm.

Except, it isn’t. Three of your own fingers isn’t enough.

At this rate, you don’t know how long you’ve been rutting your hips but what you do know is that you can’t seem to get yourself off with just your fingers. Pulling them out makes you wince at the loss and you force yourself off of your bed to find your trusty vibrator that has always served you when you need to get off quickly. You dig for it in the depths of your drawers but, to your dismay, the device is uncharged. You’re far too worked up to wait for it to become usable. You crawl into your bed again and angrily look through your phone at the porn in your bookmarks and try to get yourself back to that state of euphoria when you started touching yourself, but knowing too much is bothering you is preventing you from letting go.

Your room echoes as you groan in frustration when your eyes land on a photo on your desk. It’s a picture of you and Heeseung that Jay took when the three of you hung out together after you first moved into this apartment. The two of them helped move boxes and furniture, and you rewarded them with a free meal from the noodle shop across the street. Heeseung sits next to you with his thighs pressed against yours because of the small table but neither of you really cared.

That’s the thing, though. Heeseung isn’t shy about physical touch with you or anyone else. He’s the kind of guy girls feel comfortable around with just a few words spoken and you’ve always envied the way Heeseung can talk his way through anything. People love him, girls want to fuck him, and guys want to be like him. There’s a part of you that wishes you could exude the same aura that your best friend does but, unlike him, you cower at any chance of interaction and can’t seem to get anyone to be interested in you the way you’re interested in them. Heeseung has heard your fair share of love debacles whereas it seems like romance is presented to him with the snap of a finger.

It isn’t that you haven’t had experiences with sex and dating, but they haven’t been worthwhile. So far, nobody has been memorable enough to keep in your backpocket for days like this, when you need a hot and erotic memory to come in an instant. It feels impossible to find guys who know what they’re doing when a woman is presented in front of them. Guys are so lucky because it takes next to nothing to get them hard and get them off.

And like, your best friend has had his fair share of hookup stories that leave you wetter than a goddamn fountain. He’s not shy about skimping the details because he’s seen you cry snot since kindergarten and you’ve seen him eat shit on bicycles since elementary school. Sex isn’t off the table. You just don’t have anything to contribute and he doesn’t judge you for it. You aren’t really keen on telling him about all of the bad experiences you’ve had when he talks about how mind blowing sex for him is. Part of you is envious that your best friend has never had one bad day of sex in his life. Allegedly.

Still, this frustration bubbles up and there’s nothing you can do to quell the way you feel. Perhaps it’s a mix of general life stress and the events leading up to this very moment. The entire day felt like a test to your patience as minor inconveniences piled up on top of one another before your breaking point. You thought your vibrator sitting uncharged was your last straw but it seems like your mind isn’t clear enough to focus on getting off. You recall a few unread text messages from Heeseung and open your shared text thread with him and watch all of the funny TikTok videos and tweets he sends you. You’re missing him right now.

Heeseung answers after one ring.

“Back from the dead, I see. What’s up?”

You huff. “Nothing.” You hear him laughing from the other line. The faint sound of his keyboard clicking echoes in your ears.

“Can’t be nothing. You always call me when you need to tell me something.”

“Not true.”

“Y/N, you and I both know you prefer to talk on the phone when you have something important you need to say so neither of us ends up sending long voice memos.” Okay, he’s got you there. “So begs the question: What’s up?”

“Well I called you because I’m bored. Happy?”

Heeseung laughs again. You’re sure he can hear your disdain. “It’s a good thing I know how to deal with your attitude, huh? Since you’re bored, I’ll have you know you’re calling me while I’m playing with the guys.”

“What, no girl to hook up with?”

“Not tonight, princess.”

“How sad.”

“If you must know why, I had a pretty long day at work but I’m fine now. Jake’s ass keeps dying so that’s pretty funny.” You don’t say anything, not right away. Not when you realize you called him in a haste and that you’re naked except for a tank stop and dainty white socks. The realization makes your cheeks heat up as you think about it, even though Heeseung can’t see what you’re wearing. “You good? You’re unusually quiet, especially when you give me attitude.” That makes you roll your eyes.

“You know, it’s unfair that all you have to do to get off is brush your hand against your dick.”

“Where’s this coming from? You don’t really talk about sex. Is everything alright?”

“It’s unfair!” He hears you groan in frustration. You’re somewhat annoyed he’s still typing away on his gaming keyboard.

“Y/N…Are you okay? What’s gotten into you?”

That question alone seems to ease your mind a little as your irritation bubbles over the surface. You couldn’t stop yourself from talking even if you tried. You tell Heeseung everything, good and bad, and he won’t relent until he knows you’re okay. But even this is treading into new territory. It isn’t that you haven’t noticed just how attractive your best friend has gotten since you met him for the first time as kids, but it’s the first time you’ve ever acknowledged it while talking to him.

“I can’t get myself off.”

Your voice is barely above a whisper. You don’t hear the sound of his keyboard anymore.

“What?”

“Heeseung…”

“No, say it again.”

Suddenly, you’re starting to regret calling him to complain about something like this. You feel like you might as well be diving into the depths of your secrets.

“I can’t get myself off.” He hears you whisper it into the phone.

“Did I hear you correct? You can’t get yourself off?” Heeseung curses under his breath and his hands have stopped typing on his keyboard completely. Frustration pushes tears to the rim of your eyes.

“I can’t.” Your voice wavers like you’re about to choke a sob. “I just want to cum, Heeseung.”

You don’t see it, but he disconnects his video game connection without consulting his friends. He sits back in his seat and brings the phone off speaker mode and pushes it to his ear. “Y/N…Have you been touching yourself?”

“Yes. I don’t know why but I’m in this mental block and I can’t focus on anything. Nothing is helping.”

He chokes. “What do you mean?”

“My vibrator is dead and I’ve been using three fingers but it’s not helping!”

Heeseung sits quietly on the other line. “Are you touching yourself now?”

“No,” you sigh. “I’ve been at it for an hour and I can’t finish.”

“Fuck,” he mutters. “You must be so wet.”

“Not anymore.” You say it through your teeth, too upset that your high has ebbed away.

“You should start touching yourself again.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Touch yourself and make your pussy all wet.” It’s concerning how much you like hearing your best friend talk to you like this. But you do, putting your phone on speaker and putting it on the mattress beneath you with your hand caressing your pussy. You don’t know if it’s you, Heeseung, or the notion that you’re crossing a bridge, but your spine starts to tingle. Your touch is as light as a feather.

“Are you doing it?”

“Yeah,” you admit.

“How does it feel?”

“Really good…”

“How good?”

“Feels like someone else is touching me,” you tell Heeseung. “If I close my eyes, I can pretend it’s someone else.”

“It’s not enough, is it?”

“No, Hee. I just…I’m so frustrated.”

“Yeah, baby?” He’ll address that nickname later. “Why are you frustrated?”

“School and work are stressing me out and nobody in my group projects lifts a finger. I feel so alone in this.”

“But you aren’t alone. You have me, remember?” You get wetter the more he talks. It feels wrong to be turned on by Heeseung’s voice but you can't help it. He’s talking to you like he hears the way your voice quivers and how badly you need somebody to take away all of your pain, and perhaps you feel comforted because you know Heesueng will do just that and always had. Your fingers rub your wetness around your bare mound the more you think about it, pushing aside any guilt or awkwardness you initially felt.

“When have I ever not been there for you? Never, baby. Including this.”

“This?”

He chuckles. “Yeah. Helping you cum.”

“Hee, don’t say that.”

“Why? It’s true. Best friends help each other cum.”

“How are you gonna help me do that?”

It’s silent on the other line for a long pause and your heart starts to sink when you think you might’ve crossed a line. Is he uncomfortable? Does he want to hang up and forget about this? Will he ever look at you the same way after tonight?

“Keep touching yourself. I’m coming over.”

Your eyes widen. “N-Now?”

“Yes, now. I live five minutes from you. I’ll be over soon.”

The thought of Heeseung coming over makes you impossibly wet. It’s been so long since you’ve let anybody touch you the way you’d like after failed hook ups that left you unsatisfied. Your bedroom suddenly feels warmer and your arousal keeps your fingers slick the more you rub against your pussy. It makes your toes clench and you’re starting to get excited again.

“Please hurry, Hee. My fingers are starting to get sore.”

“I’ll be there in two. Don’t hang up.”

“F-Fuck,” you whimper silently. Heeseung’s phone picks up your moan and you hear him let out a low groan when he turns his engine on.

“You have the sexiest moans. I wanna hear them while you get yourself off, okay? Can you do that for me?”

You rub your pussy faster. “Yes, Hee. Fuck, I’m so wet. This feels so good.”

“Be a good baby and play with your clit a little for me, hm? Get her all nice and prepped.”

You do as he says, moving the pads of your fingers in circular motions around your engorged nub when he tells you. Your eyes close shut when that jolt of pleasure makes your body jerk and arch off of the bed and that loud sound emitting from the back of your throat makes Heeseung hum in approval.

“Juuust like that. Fuck, you sounds even better than I imagined. You’re a vocal one, huh?”

“Only when it feels really good.”

“Yeah? Do you feel really good?”

You lick your lips. “It would feel better if you were here.” Heeseung laughs.

“I’m here and I’ve got your spare key. Keep fucking yourself for me.”

The call ends there. You hear the door opening and part of you considers using your blanket to cover yourself up because in all of the years you’ve been friends with Heeseung, he has never seen you this indecent. It feels a bit humiliating to know your best friend will find you with your fingers rubbing against yourself while your hips chase that delicious pleasure but ultimately, you can’t find it in yourself to care too deeply about that.

Heeseung’s footsteps alert you to his presence and you’re pleasantly surprised to see him standing in the threshold of your bedroom after he’s opened your doorknob. His black hair covers his eyes as he catches his breath, and it looks like he ran up the two floors just to get to your apartment quicker than an elevator could take him. He’s hesitant when he walks inside until his eyes lock with yours. Your next moan comes from deep within your chest and Heeseung wastes absolutely no time.

He lands on his knees and pulls your body towards the edge of the bed. Your scent invades his olfactory senses as he looks down below you, pushing your feeble hand away to admire the mess you’ve made of yourself. It should feel embarrassing to have your best friend look at you like this, but it doesn’t. Your heart beats faster the more Heeseung’s eyes scan your wet pussy and before you know it, his mouth latches onto you.

The feeling of someone’s tongue shoved deep within you is a feeling you haven’t experienced in a long time. Heeseung kneads your thighs with his hands as he keeps you in place and the pace he sets makes your body feel like it might as well be up in space.

You hear stories all the time about Heeseung hooking up with other girls whether it be from himself or others. Girls love to pretend to be your friend to get close to him and love to talk about these kinds of things with you because they assume you’re getting in on the action too, only to leave the conversation perplexed when you tell them you and Heeseung have never gotten involved like that. But now, with every bit of information about how he slurps pussy like he needs it to live, you’re starting to wonder why you never asked him to do this before tonight.

“Tasty,” he mutters after a beat of silence. Your hand comes to grip his hair for stability when he pulls your clit into his mouth and sucks on it while rubbing his tongue against your pleasure point. “How come you never told me you taste so good?”

“You never asked.”

He laughs against your pussy. “Still got some attitude, huh?”

“What are you gonna do about it?” He looks up at you like he’s weighing a challenge.

“If you were any other girl, I’d pull out every time you’re about to cum. I’d have you begging for that shit. If you were somebody else, I’d stuff your mouth with my cock until you learn how to obey.” He licks up your pussy once more before adding two of his fingers inside, moaning at your smooth and wet walls as he pumps them inside of you. “But you’re my best friend and you’ve had a hard week. I’m gonna make you cum.”

If a thousand suns exploding feels like Heeseung’s tongue and fingers working in tandem with each other, then this is a feeling you never want to forget. They work separately but it feels like he’s pushing you closer and closer to the finish line the more he pays attention to your clit and g-spot at the same time, pressing on that little button the more you whine and aimlessly beg for him to let you cum. You can barely register your own voice moaning because the pressure is too much against your ears. Heeseung’s fingers plunge in and out of you at a pace that is somewhere between gentle and brutal, giving you enough force to take your mind off of the stress from the week to focus on your pussy being pleasured.

You screw your eyes shut when you can feel that coil unraveling. Heeseung seems to notice that too because of the string of moans you let out when he pushes his fingers against your sweet spot. His mouth licks and licks as his hand pushes your wetness right against his tongue and it doesn’t take very long for him to taste your cum.

Heeseung’s head disappears between your legs and he’s barely able to move his hand because of how tight your thighs are against his ears. He’s always loved your thighs and legs, and loves them even more now that he knows what it feels like when you suffocate him as he licks up your delicious cum. You ease up on him when he pries them away to free his hand from the uncomfortable position and uses both hands to keep your legs apart as he licks up the remnants of your cum and helps you ride out your orgasm until your chest falls against the mattress.

He wipes the back of his hands before giving your slit a gentle kiss. “You’re so sexy when you cum.”

“I can’t believe I let you do that.”

“Why?”

You watch him crawl up your body between your spread legs. “Because…”

“Because?”

“You’re my best friend and we’ve seen each other through everything. Don’t you think this is a little, I don’t know, weird?”

“No.” Heeseung shakes his head and dips below to kiss the corner of your mouth. “Not weird. In fact, I’d argue we should do this more often.”

You frown. “I don’t intend to be somebody you keep on a roster, Lee. You can keep that shit to yourself, but thank you for helping me cum.” Heeseung laughs against your mouth until you feel his lips ghost right over yours.

“There won’t be other girls involved if we fuck, Y/N. I’m not heartless like that. Everybody else knows I’m in it for sex and nothing else, but it’s like you said. You’re my best friend. I won’t make you feel like you’re just somebody I can hit up.”

“So this would be like…friends with benefits?”

“We can work out the semantics later.” He lets his lips touch yours and when you don’t object, Heeseung opens your mouth with his own and you taste the saltiness of your cum on his lips. You clench around nothing when you hear your mouths smacking together in the quiet of your bedroom.

It feels…good. It doesn’t feel out of place, even though this is the first time you’ve kissed Heeseung. You haven’t thought about it much either, but somehow his lips fit perfectly in yours and his soft hands holding your body in his adds to your arousal. You feel safe with him at this moment and it’s the first time you’ve ever had sex with somebody who hasn’t made you feel like an afterthought. Your mind feels a bit foggy but you know you like this feeling and don’t want him to stop. Still, you have your worries.

“This won’t be weird, will it?”

“No, baby. In fact, all you had to do was ask me to drop the other girls and I would’ve.” You roll your eyes.

“Sounds like you’re in love with me, or something.”

Heeseung pulls away and smiles down at you. “Yeah. Or something.” You ignore the way your heart flutters and realize his bulge is poking your bare pussy.

“You’re hard.”

“So you’ve noticed.”

You pinch his bicep. “You get hard eating pussy?”

“Well yeah because it’s pussy, but it’s also you.” You start to talk but Heeseung silences you with a kiss. “Are you satisfied now that I’ve made you cum?”

His vulgar words make you shy underneath his gaze all of a sudden. It’s a new feeling and you’re not quite sure how to navigate it, especially with the way he’s staring down at you with a raised eyebrow. Heeseung is still your best friend who gives you shit for everything. You suppose you’re grateful that he’s not changing who he is just because he knows what you look like naked.

“You know what? Actually, I don’t think I’m satisfied.”

Heeseung grins wickedly and pulls his body off of your chest to take his shirt off, his chiseled muscles on display for you to look at. He grabs your hand and places it on his abdomen. “Oh yeah? What else can I do for you, princess?”

You take your fingernails on his skin and feel his abs move beneath you. “I think I need you inside me too.”

“Were my mouth and fingers not enough?” You shake your head. Heeseung tuts as he gets off of the bed to step out of his pants and boxers, revealing a long and thick cock you’ve only ever heard about. It’s dripping with precum and you can’t stop your pussy from clenching or your mouth from drooling.

You watch him get back on the bed one knee at a time before he’s hovering over you again, pulling your body to the position he wants as your legs spread before him. He looks down at his cock and tugs on it twice before letting his tip rest against your clit.

“Need some of my cock?”

“Yes, yes!”

“Who knew my best friend has such a tight pussy. Makes me wonder why I even bothered with other girls in the first place.” You seem to like hearing that. He brings his fingers to push the head of his cock inside of you before sinking halfway in, allowing you to adjust to his size as you squeeze him. “Oh yeah, honey. This pussy’s gonna make me cum hard, I already know that.”

Heeseung holds your legs open and pushes his hips into you slowly. The drag feels so good with how warm he’s made you and you can feel him throbbing with every pass. You hold onto your breasts for stability, which seems to turn him on even more because he’s pushing your legs towards your chest and pushing into you with all of his might.

You’re able to see him from where you lie. His eyebrows concentrate as he squeezes his eyes shut and sweat lines his forehead the more he thrusts inside of you. He sits up on his knees to angle his dick inside of you better and moans when you let out a strangled groan. The clench is so tight and amazing, and Heeseung can’t fathom why he’s never fucked you before tonight.

“Sexy pussy,” he grunts, looking down at your abused hole as he thrusts into it. He brings his thumb to your clit and you yelp when he starts to rub it. “So wet and fuckable.”

“Fuck me,” you manage to choke.

And truthfully, you like Heeseung plowing into you at the pace he’s set. He’s not too fast but not too slow and you can feel him hit your cervix every single time. It’s no wonder girls were always lining up to have sex with him. Heeseung knows what he’s doing with his dick and you’re finding that out now.

“You want me to fuck you?”

You nod pathetically. “Please fuck me.”

“How hard?” You bite your lip and shake your head at the humiliation of begging for him but Heeseung tuts and smacks your clit with his hand. “I said, how hard?”

“So hard that I feel you in my stomach!”

“Atta girl. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Heeseung slips out of you and pulls you up on your hands and knees, beckoning your back in a deep arch. He plants both of his feet on the mattress and bends until he’s sinking his cock back down inside of your pussy, letting your mixed wetness coat him again.

He thrusts himself as his mouth hangs open. Heeseung grips your waist with both hands and squeezes you hard to balance himself as he throws his head back at the phenomenal sensation of your walls pulling him in every time he tries to pull out. Your eyes roll to the back of your head when you feel his balls against you and clutch into your bedsheets.

“Your balls are slapping against my pussy and it feels really good,” you manage to get out without stuttering. Heeseung feels you clench around him again and emphasizes his thrusts until the sound of his balls makes your ears vibrate.

“Feels good when it hits your clit, doesn’t it?”

“So good, fuck!”

Heeseung speeds his thrusts and relishes in your string of moans the more his tip nudges your g-spot. “Can you cum, baby? Cum around my cock like I know you want to. You’ve earned it after this week. Cum for me. Won’t you let me feel that?”

“Fuck, fuck, I’m cumming, Hee! I’m fucking cumming!”

“Yeahhh. Oh your cum is so good. Doing so well, making your pussy creamy all over me like that. Cum for me.”

And it feels so good that you follow his command. The orgasm Heeseung’s cock brings you feels like a physical manifestation of letting go of your worries and enjoying the present moment. Despite your legs and pussy aching, this feels an awful lot like freedom because your own mind isn’t caged by the inability to get yourself off.

You don’t think, you can’t think. You’ve reached a point of nirvana that’s made your mind completely blank with the exception of your orgasm and the feeling of your best friend fucking right inside of you. His cock, so hard and warm, somehow feels so perfect lodged inside of you.

Heeseung cock twitches and you feel it the more he pounds into you. He looks down and moans at the sight of his cock becoming white with your cum with every pointed thrust and doesn’t remember the last time he truly enjoyed himself to the point of being able to forget about everything except the person he’s with. Sex with other girls is incredible but there comes a point where he realizes that they’re using him just as much as he’s using them. But you, his best friend since he can remember, give him some kind of peace that he’s never felt before. This is more than just a quick fuck, even if neither of you address it.

“Your pussy’s gonna make me cum,” he moans through a choked grunt. “You feel so good baby, fuck.”

Heeseung pulls out of your hole just enough to rest his tip against you. His warm cum floods against your folds and your body jerks at the way he twitches against you, but his hands keep hold of your hips to place you exactly where he wants you. He looks down to watch his cum spill from his slit and paint your pussy like the artwork that it is.

When he’s finished cumming, Heeseung leans back against his knees to spread you apart by gripping your asscheeks. “Would you look at that?”

“Stop looking…”

He chuckles. “Why, baby? Your pussy’s so pretty with my cum on it.”

You look back at him. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah.” He nods at you before pulling away to scour your room until he finds a box of tissues on your nightstand and grabs a few to clean you up to the best of his ability before cleaning himself up too.

Overcome with a wave of tiredness, your body feels much more relaxed once you’ve slipped underneath the covers as Heeseung throws away the dirty tissues. He turns around when he hears the blankets ruffling and resists the urge to coo at you when you’ve tucked it underneath your chin.

“Looks like you needed one good fuck to relax, hm?”

You blush. “Shut up.”

“No can do, Y/N.”

“I…”

Heeseung leans down towards you and tilts his head. “You what?”

You avert his gaze. “I liked it when you called me baby.”

“Yeah?” He pushes some of your hair back as you yawn. “I can do that.”

“Are you gonna go home?”

“Not if you let me stay the night.” You don't have it in you to talk back to him after all he’s done for you. Instead, you open the covers as Heeseung puts his boxers back on and watch him smile before climbing in next to you. “Come here.” He tucks your body on his chest and you’re too tired to argue with him.

His heartbeat puts you to sleep.

tagging: @zara2318 @markmato @heechwe @horijiro @ggumjilgeong-yjn @porunarefuu @leov3rse. :)

#enhypen smut #heeseung smut #lee heeseung smut #enha smut #heeseung x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen hard thoughts #enha hard hours #enhypen hard hours #enha hard thoughts #lee heeseung x reader #heeseung #tasty

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danyasblogsblog · 11 days ago

Text

FIVE MONTHS SIMON RILEY

warnings : cheating, mentions of sex, lotsss of angst and yelling. implied reader is a female. toxic relationship

- simon riley is cheating on reader, over and over again, when they are just wishing for his love back.

ps. guyss if u like keegan p. russ smut read my last blog!! love u guys 💕

part 2 is not coming

being simon riley’s girlfriend in the beginning was a dream come true- it was all you ever dreamed of. a strong man who matched your personality and made you feel whole. first 4 months was perfect, going out together, meeting his friends and getting close with them, the most amazing dates and sleepovers at eachother’s apartments. it was a dream come true.

but once 5 months hit, something changed in him. he was out late after work. he wasnt home after deployments on the day he was supposed to come back. he went out late on the weekends you longed to be in his arms. he was cold and distant. why?

you knew he had been cheating. gaz told you- he was rubbing up against some other girl at a party and kissing her- practically shoving his tongue down her throat. and his idiotic ass posted it on his private story. it was like he wasnt even considerate about your feelings, not even trying to hide it.

everyone told you to leave him. even simon’s closest friends told you too- you were loyal, kind and so caring. he use to be the same, but now hes cold, carless and seemed pissed everytime he saw you.

7 times. he cheated 7 times. every time he did, you could feel more of your heart cracking like porcelain. tears spilled from your eyes everytime you got a message from gaz, or soap or random girls you barely knew. ‘simon is cheating again’. you got used to be message, but the ache in your heart burned more every time it happened.

simon didnt know why he did it- you were perfect for him. you made him feel right in everyway, your personality, your appearance and your love for him was everything he ever wanted. he just had to be a jerk. someone awful towards you, even though you treated him with love.

the 8th time was different. you had been having a hard week- work was tough, and one of your friends was really ill. all you wanted every day of the week was the come home and sit in simon’s arms, but he was never there. you just got the notification ‘ill be home tomorrow’. you knew what he was doing, and he knew you knew.

this specific saturday, after months of dealing with the heartache of having your boyfriend cheat on you so often, you snapped. you came to simon’s apartment tired- your feet aching so badly. ‘simon?’ you called out, praying he would be home. you were greeted with silence- all the lights in the house off. you sighed, tears already prickling in your eyes. you checked your phone- notifications from your friends, apps, but not simon. maybe he got tied up at work? you opened your contacts and called him, listening to the phone ring.

you looked at the profile picture you had his contact saved as, your first date as boyfriend/girlfriend. an unforgettable experience. even though you two were just getting to know eachother as a couple, that day felt different. you cooked for him, and you opened up to eachother over a bowl of macaroni and cheese. he said he felt safe with you. his words from that day echoed in your head as the vibrations from your phone ringing him made your hand shake. what happened to your sweet boy?

the phone line connected, and you put it on speaker- not bothered to press it against your ear. ‘simon? hello?’

you could hear grunts in the background, your heart cracked. a female voice answered the phone. your heart shattered. ‘oh… you’re his girlfriend, right?’ the girl snickered. ‘simon, its your girlfriend!!’ you heard her talking to him down the line, making sarcastic jokes about how you were calling him when he was having fun with her. ‘give me the phone, come on.’ you heard him say, although his voice was slightly incoherent due to his distance from the phone.

you hung up the call. the world went black and white. the silence around you rung in your ears. your heart thumped against your chest, the hot tears rolling down your cheeks. you couldn’t do anything but cry.

cry because you thought it would change. cry because you thought he would change.

the phone rang, simon’s name lighting up the screen. your back slid down the wall, your hand over your chest. your breathing got thick, and your nose filled with snot. more tears poked out of your eyes, and your eardrums felt like they were going to explode. god- you were such a dumbass. sitting around, thinking he’d stop his shit.

your hands covered your face, trying to hide your tears from the world around you. you couldnt do this. not for a 9th time. a 10th time. 11th. 12th. it was the worst. you had never felt worse.

he was the worst.

you just wished simon was with you, letting you cry in his arms. you thought, if you loved him enough he would stop. he’s not stopped. you wanted to stop loving him- but you knew you couldnt. god, simon, please stop it. stopitstopitstopitstopit.

you heard the front door unlock, and you remembered you were still in simon’s house. he ran over to you, his eyes full of concern. you looked up at him, apologies running out his mouth. he kneeled down to you, trying to get you to talk to him. ‘please talk to me, y/n. please, please im so sorry lovie m so sorry’ simon’s usually gruff voice was filled with concern. ‘talk to me darlin’ please im sorry’.

your tears of sadness became tears of anger. you tried so hard. you tried to be the best for him. you tried so hard. but he didnt care. he went out, and cheated. he went out, fucking other girls for 5 minutes of pleasure while you were at home, cooking for him. caring for him.

you stared up into his dark eyes that were filled with sorrow and regret. you stood up, backing away from him. ‘where are you going? y/n? talk to me, please.’ he followed you around his apartment as you took your purse and coat, looking around for your wallet and keys aswell. ‘y/n, please. im sorry. im so sorry lovie give me another chance.’ you stopped. ‘give you another chance?’ you said, staring at him with disbelief.

‘i gave you so many chances. you knew i knew. everyone told me to leave you, everyone told me about what was happening. but i thought you would change. i thought you would go back to how you used to be. i miss you, simon and i love you so much but why. why- how could you do this to me..’

tears uncontrollably fell from your eyes, and your knees felt as if they were giving out. you walked away from him, frantically looking for your keys and wallet. you needed to get out of here. away from him. he grabbed your wrist and turned you around the look at him.

‘i can’t convince you that im not a dickhead, baby but please. please im sorry- i cant explain it but i just-’

‘why don’t you love me anymore?’ you yelled, your anger practically radiating off as heat. (in the most love quinn style way btw, youre my bff if you understand)

‘why did you cheat on me? why did you ruin us, simon? you treat me as if i dont have feelings.’ ‘it was just a bit of fun, please lovie. i cant loose you, darlin’

you saw your keys and wallet on an end table. simon went around, following you with his half-assed apologies. you snatched the necessities up, and the feeling of finding them was a true relief. you turned and glared at simon, stopping his babbling- something you werent even listening too anymore.

‘we’re over.’

#cod #cod x reader #simon riley x y/n #simon riley cod #simon ghost riley #simon ghost x you #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you

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judysxnd · 1 month ago

Note

If you're taking requests for Lando, and are comfortable writing angst. I'm in one of those moods where I need gut-wrenching neglected girlfriend being called clingy and then him grovelling for forgiveness. You don't have to write it, I just really have been in an angsty mood.

Sparkle anon

As usual I don't like what I did, but I have been starting this like a thousand times and never finished it and this time I did. So I'll go with the flow. I hope you'll like it !

I took so much time to write this that your mood probably changed like a thousand times 😭 I'm sorry 😔

———————————————————————

These past few days have been hard for you. Lando has been away for the past three weeks because it was a triple header and you couldn't come with him because of work. You always thought that being famous too would help you have clear weekends to come to the races, but apparently not. You had ads to film, shoots for magazines to do, interviews to prepare and do too, and it was getting overwhelming.

And Lando being in a different time zone definitely didn't help. You barely could texts, or one would respond hours later, the phone calls only last a few minutes (when you can actually call each other) and it wasn't enough for you these days. Your anxiety was getting the best of you, resulting in a few panic attacks daily.

Usually Lando helps a lot, but he had enough stuff on his plate too. He was in a tough battle with Max for the championship, and from what you've seen and what he had told you a bit, he was struggling with the car this week-end. You tried to make it work as much as you could. But you just couldn't do it anymore. You were back at Monaco after working hard until Saturday afternoon, actually coming home at Lando's place around 9pm, crying yourself to sleep, not even eating.

You knew Lando would be back for a few days from Vegas for a couple of days before flying to Qatar. But you definitely didn't expect to wake up at almost 5pm the next day by noises in the kitchen. First of all, how did you sleep that much? You were tired but damn, that's like 18hours of sleep ! And second of all, who was in the kitchen?

You slowly walked, carefully listening to the noises. After leaning a bit, you saw Lando searching the fridge for something to eat.

"Oh my god" you said relieved it was him. "you scared me so much!" you said walking to him, hugging him from behind.

"I scared you- in my own place?"

"yeah as you were in a different country" you leaned onto the counter next to him. "how did it go?" you asked about the race. Yes you didn't watch it as you slept half a day. You were going to watch it as you woke up, before Lando gets back, but well, you definitely didn't have time for that apparently.

"not good" Lando said barely looking at you

"oh" he walked out of the kitchen "but where did you finish?"

"You didn't watch the race?" he asked, going to the living room to eat at the table

"Well, I wanted to, but as you can see I.. overslept" he stared at you, as he was judging you "and you came back before I could watch it, so might as well tell me directly" you sat in front of him

"Well I lost the championship and finished P6, behind Max at the race. Happy?"

"Why are you so mad at me? It's not my fault, I'm just trying to know what happened to support you"

"support me? You weren't even there for that"

"ugh, excuse me? Sorry for having a career of my own, which I might give up with everything happening at the same time"

"like you can't take at least one day to come watch the race"

"that's the only thing you got from what I just said?" you stood up "what the hell Lando? What happened for you to treat me like that? I've been working my ass off, trying to contain my panic attacks all alone because you also have a career and can't be by my side 24/7, you barely even answer my text, you don't call me, you don't even ask me how I am doing!" He just stared at you, not saying anything. "you know what? I think I was better alone" you said, leaving the room, heading to his bedroom to gather your stuff.

"Wait- where are you going?" he said following you, like he suddenly cared.

"I'm going to my parents for a while. I haven't seen them in 2 months between my work and the races. And you're leaving like in two days anyway so, might as well try to have a good time with people that actually care about me" And before he could say anything, you were out of his sight, driving to the nearest airport to fly to your parents (trying to avoid to cry and have many panic attacks on your way).

You knew Lando wouldn't fly to you for the next two weeks with the races getting all of his time. But he did harass you with texts, tried to call you, which you ignored. He also sent you flowers, many flowers, gifts with little cards, apologising and asking for you to answer his texts and calls. You did feel guilty, even if you made it clear that he neglected you, you felt bad for keeping it to yourself that long and just lashing onto him like that.

You watched the last two races of the year, a knot in your stomach. You felt like you made it worse by acting like that and ignoring him. Hell he could have an accident and not make it back and that would be the last thing you said to him? That is a very bad scenario but still. And at the same time, your pride was telling you to keep ignoring him, that you were right and that he was the one to come back to you (which he was actually trying to do).

Until the next Monday after the last race, when you heard a knock to your bedroom. Innocently thinking it was your mom, you told "her" to come in, only to be faced by Lando holding flowers in his hand. You were laying in bed, in your pyjamas at 3pm, scrolling on your phone.

"Lando? What are you doing here?" You said, sitting up.

"You didn't give me other choices" you nodded, admitting that it was true. "I'm sorry for being a bad boyfriend" he said, taking a step closer to you

"keep going" you said, crossing your arms

"I shouldn't have neglected you like that even if I get too busy at work. I know you always take time for me even though you're working too and I should do the same thing" he sat down at the edge of your bed

"hm hm" you nodded

"I know you didn't read my texts nor listened to my voice messages or voicemails, but I've been apologising for a thousand times and, I've been begging you not to breakup with me" you couldn't help but laugh

"I've listened to them" you admitted

"w-were they good?" you tilted your head "you know I'm not good for that type of stuff"

"You're getting there"

"So what are you saying? Are we good?" you leaned a bit closer to him

"No we're not good Lando. It's not a bunch of texts, calls and gifts that are going to make me forget what happened. Hell I told you I wanted to abandon my entire career and you didn't even react" he was about to say something but you cut him off "and I know it's been very tough for you too for the races, that's why I gave you the benefit of doubt when you were away, but- you were sitting in front of me Lando-"

"I know, I know" he sat right in front of you, holding your hands "we've been dating for a year and- honestly I don't know what happened. When I came back from São Paulo you were there for me, and thank god you were, but I think it's just, it went to my head and I was under so much pressure" you wanted to cut him off but he didn't let you "and I'm not making up excuses for what I did. I just don't want to lose you. I'm so sorry, I'll do anything for you not to leave me, just please, don't go. It won't happen again, I promise" you sighed

"I wasn't going to leave you Lando" you had a little smile. You could see it in his eyes. He was scared he really messed up to the point you were actually going to leave him for good. Maybe stepping away for a few weeks made him think, like for you.

"Really?" He seemed genuinely surprised

"Yes, but I needed some time, like you did too"

"yes. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I won't do it again"

"You better not" you both laughed a little. "I love you too"

"Not as much as I do" and he immediately leaned in to kiss you. "Now I need to give those flowers to your mother because she helped me to get to talk to you" you gasped as he stood up

"of course she did" you laughed "and to think those flowers were for me? I'm offended" you joked

"Didn't you get enough with everything I sent you?" you tilted your head "too soon?" you both laughed

"yeah, too soon" he left the room. You got up and followed him down the stairs.

#fanfic #imagine #oneshot #lando imagine #lando norris imagine #lando x reader #lando norris #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader #lando norris fic #lando norris one shot #lando norris fanfiction

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forwhatiam · 13 days ago

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Happy 28th! <3 Here's my favorite fics I read this month (and last), organized from longest to shortest. It's been a tough year, here's to hoping this next one doesn't treat us too bad.

Cameras Flashing by juliusschmidt (E, 81.7k)

With his breakout single platinum three times over and his second album still selling out in stores around the world, Louis Tomlinson has made it to the top. However, his position as Pop Heartthrob of the Decade is threatened by the edgier, more artistic Zayn, who happens to be releasing an album a week after Louis’ upcoming third. Louis needs something groundbreaking- scandalous, even- to push past him in the charts. Much to Louis’ dismay, his PR team calls in The Sexpert.

Consulting with PR firm Shady, Lane and Associates pays the bills so that Harry Styles can spend his down time doing what he really loves: poring over data. On weekends and late into the evenings, he researches gender, presentation, and sexual orientation, analysing the longitudinal study that is his father’s life’s work. That is, until his newest client, the popstar with the fascinating secret, drags him off his couch and frighteningly close to the spotlight.

As the album’s release date approaches, will Tomlinson and Styles be able to pull off the most risky PR scheme of the millennium and beat Zayn in sales or will the heat of their feelings for each other compromise everything?

you came into my life by disgruntledkittenface (M, 57.1k)

When the Queer Eye cast and crew sweep into Louis’ small town and fire station to make over his best friend and coworker Liam, Louis’ carefully constructed walls start to fall down and he has to face his fears – and the only guy he’s ever been able to see a future with.

You Should Be Here With Me by lululawrence (NR, 34.4k)

The festive period is a traditionally hectic one in the world of Premier League football, and this year is no different. A lot is riding on how Manchester United is able to come through the fixtures in the coming weeks.

Louis and his teammates know all too well the pressure that is on their shoulders. They need to prove, not just to fans of the club but the entire league, that they still have what it takes to be a team worthy of fighting for the top of the table.

Throw in the fact that Louis is all too aware that he's not getting any younger in a profession that demands your peak physical fitness year round and the incredibly fit Harry Styles, who is part of the club's social media team, and this year's festive period might just be the most important one yet.

Not having a breakdown! (I'm just here for the kid.) by louisismycat (E, 28.3k)

Harry has to park outside his ex-husband’s (Louis) wedding so that he can whisk their kid away if a meltdown ensues during the day. Guests will not know this and will only see him parked outside, it cannot be stressed enough, his ex-husband’s wedding.

Your Reign is Free (to give along to Santa) by LadyLondonderry (T, 28.3k)

It’s Christmas Eve. It’s a totally normal Christmas Eve. Harry and Louis have some friends coming by, and some totally normal birthday and Christmas plans. It’s a totally typical totally normal Christmas Eve.

A fic that takes place over 24 (+1) hours where surely everything will go totally to plan.

I Roll 'til I Change My Luck by larry_hiatus (T, 8.4k)

Dating is hard enough when you're gay. When Louis reveals to his Tinder matches that he uses a wheelchair and has a service dog, things tend to get even more complicated. Too bad the guys on dating apps aren't as sweet and understanding as his best friend Harry…

What's in a Name by HelloLovers13 (T, 2.6k)

Louis had always known Harry was his soulmate.

The name on his arm disagreed.

But what did his soulmark know about true love anyway.

there's a devil in your smile, it's chasing me by larryftnoctrl (T, 1.6k)

Harry is on a shitty date. the NJ Devil is his savior.

BONUS NON-1D FIC: Dedicated To The One I Love by hayseeds (Peanuts, G, WIP)

After a summer away from Lucy and too much time to think, eighth grade leaves Schroeder silently pining after the girl he’s rejected since he was a kid.

#i read just enough fics this month to be able to combine my recs with the ones i had last month #and i couldn't not include the peanuts fic #because i found it on tiktok and i'm really enamored by it #28th appreciation #my fic rec list #fic rec #larry fic rec

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ravennaortiz · 3 months ago

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A Mendoza Family Halloween

Manny waved goodbye to a couple of the guys before hopping onto his bike. He shivered as the crisp October hair brushed his neck as he snapped his helmet on before heading home. A smile hosted his face as he thought about how excited his baby girl was for trick or treating. This was the first time in a couple years he would be able to join his family for a night of strolling through the neighbor and binging on sweets.

His mind drifted to wandering what costume his sweet Julieta had finally decided on. The last week she had been deciding between either a princess or a biker. He chuckled as he thought about how she had asked him if she could borrow his bike for the night. Being unable to use the word no with her he had simply shrugged and said will see ignoring the hard stare his beloved wife Liliana had sent him.

Manny frowned as he pulled in the driveway. His wife rushing out the door dressed in her magenta scrubs, whipping her hair up into a messy bun as she tossed her work back in her car.

“Everything good mama?” called Manny as he quickly parked his bike and jogged to his wife. Liliana had a grim look as she shook her head as she typed on her phone. Manny waited assumingly she was letting her team know she was enroute.

“Two of my high risk moms have been admitted. Things don’t look great. I’m so sorry Manny” started Liliana before Manny cut her off with a quick kiss.

“No sorry’s. You go do what you do best. I’ll hold the fort down here” stated Manny firmly as he ushered Liliana into her car as she gave him a relieved smile.

“This is why I chose you. I love you” stated Liliana as she started the car as Manny shut the door before rolling the window down. “Lil Joey is here too. I told his moms we would take him around since they were both working late”.

“I love you too. No worries. Text me when you get there and leave” stated Manny as he gave her another kiss before she drove off. Manny stood watching until she turned off the street before jogging up the stairs to get the kids.

“Good evening Mr. Mendoza!” called Lil Joey excitedly from the living room where he sat watching SpongeBob with Julieta who smiled and waved at him as she sipped on a juice box. Manny couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he took in the scene on his couch. It was one that in about ten years he would lose his mind over but for now it was kinda cute. The two kids were dressed up in their costumes and holding hands as the show played and they quoted word for word the lines.

Julieta was dressed up in what he assumed was a worm costume his amazing wife had somehow thrown together with a doctor cap, mask and stethoscope. While Lil Joey had on a fisherman’s cap, vest and had a fishing pole lying next to him with a rainbow fish hooked on it. A couple costume thought Manny as he snorted and shook his head. Like mother like daughter he thought as he ruffled Lil Joeys cap before kissing Julieta. “You kiddos ready to head out” he asked as he moved to grab his regular car keys from the hook.

The cheering and yelling had him laughing as he turned around. Both kids scrambling to grab there trick or treat bags they had decorated the weekend before at Lil Joeys house. They made a bee line to the door as Manny followed behind.

“Ladies” called Manny about two hours later as he caught sight of Lili Joeys moms walking down the sidewalk. “You two look like a couple of Old Ladies in all that leather” he added making Pam and Karen laugh as they got closer each striking a “tough” pose.

“When your kid tells you to dress up you dress up. That and we thought we might want to join your little club” laughed Karen as Pam handed Manny a small bag.

“A little thank you gift” stated Pam as she shrugged as Manny shook his head and laughed. The idea of these two little white women sitting in Templo amused him.

“Pam, is this what I think it is?” demanded Manny as he peeked in the bag catching a scent of warm bread and cinnamon. His mouth was watering as he took another big whiff.

“Your favorite pumpkin snickerdoodle loaf? That you mentioned months ago? Maybe” replied Pam as she blushed as Manny pulled her in for a hug.

“Thank you. Not needed but appreciated” stated Manny as he stepped back and glanced to the kids as they wearily trudged down the sidewalk from the last house for the night.

“Look like you tired them out” laughed Karen as both kids yawned and plopped down on the sidewalk. “Also looks like they got quite the haul” she added as she handed Lil Joeys bag to Pam as she picked him up.

“They have made off like bandits for sure” stated Manny as he scooped up Julieta and her bag. The three adults walked back to their cars as the wind picked up and it started to sprinkle.

“Think you and Liliana could come over next week for a Marg and Smores night?” asked Pam as they neared the cars.

“I don’t see why not” stated Manny as they got the kids situated in their cars. “Liliana is working tonight but I’ll let you know tomorrow at pickup”

“Perfect! Have a good night and thanks again!” called Pam as she hugged Manny.

“No worries. Text wh-“ started Manny before Karen cut him off with a laugh.

“When we get home. We know the drill mister Presidente” she laughed as Manny pretended to give her a stern look. “Normally you don’t interrupt the Presidente. I’ll let it slide tonight” he joked before waving them off and getting in his car. He shook his head as he thought about the last few months. Who would have thought two of his favorite people would be two little white ladies.

Return to Two Worlds Universe Masterlist

#mayans mc #ravennasmasterlist #mayans mc fanfiction #manny montana #AMendozaFamilyFic #mayansmc #mayans imagine #mayans fanfic #manny mayans #manny montana fanfiction

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14buddy22 · 2 years ago

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I’ll Spend The Rest of My Life Making It Up To You Series

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!reader

Warnings: Domestic Abuse, bruises, blood, broken glass/mirrors, trauma, engagement, marriage, reader does have a child.

A/n: Long title but idc... Here’s part 1. I’m halfway through student teaching and I begin my elementary placement next week. So who knows when part two will come around, but it will! Comment if you’d like to be tagged in part 2.

WC: 3.8K

Series Masterlist // Masterlist

You were in an abusive relationship. Problem was, you had been in it for 10 years before coming to terms with your abuser. It took one special person to help you. That special person had a significant role in your life before you met your husband, your abuser. What happens after years of not seeing them? What’s going to happen to you? Will you survive the cycle of abuse? Will you get help? Will you get out? Are you strong enough to break the cycle?

It was a hit to the face in front of your son that finally got to be too much. You knew that it was going to be hard to conceal. You didn’t understand it. Why did he constantly have to criticize you to make him feel big? How could he not know that his words hurt? Your body had taken a toll mentally and emotionally, all before it took a toll physically.

How in the hell did you even get yourself into this situation? How could you be in it for 10 years? Why didn’t you leave sooner? Why did it have to get to this point where you finally realized you’d had too much? He always told you he was sorry, he told you he loved you, he just had a bad day at work. The thing was, you were stupid enough to believe it, you always believed it.

You had finally had enough. The mental, emotional, and physical abuse from him was too much. You needed to lead a better life for your son. You didn’t want your son to grow up to know that’s how a man should treat somebody. You were worth so much more. At first, you believed that what your husband would get mad about was your fault, but then over time, the more posts that started showing up on your phone about abusive relationships, you knew that you were in one. You didn’t want to believe it at first, but you did. Slowly over time, you realized that you had to walk on eggshells around him.

You thought that it was normal that he just had triggers that set him off, but then you thought back to the man who once brought you so much joy, the man before your husband, the man who broke your heart. That man that you had loved so much, you never had to walk around eggshells around. The man you could be yourself in front of, the one who loved you for who you were, faults and all.

You tried to get out of your relationship, literally. You got in your car one day to leave, but he tracked you. He called you and asked why you had left the house. He started questioning you because you hadn’t told him that you planned on leaving that day. He had a tracking device placed on the car and would get alerts when you’d leave the house.

He also hated whenever you went out to lunch with friends, especially your guy friends. He hated it. You don’t understand why. Well, you do. It’s because he was nervous you’d let something slip that you were in an abusive relationship. You were too afraid too. You hid the bruises well, that’s why he never hit you on your face either, because you could conceal it everywhere else.

While he went away for another weekend, you decided that you’d had enough. You remember reading about the cycle of abuse from domestic abuse survivors. The cycle of abuse is tough. It’s the hardest thing to break. You want to get help, and you think you’re going to do it, but then he does something so great that you think he’ll change, and then you fall back in love with him.

You had constantly been in that cycle for 10 years. It’s the only love you thought you were ever worthy of, but you are worthy of so much more.

After debating for 2 hours and figuring out a game plan. You packed a suitcase filled with clothes as much as you could fit and started putting stuff into a car. You grabbed your son’s clothes, diapers, wipes, blankets, car seat, and bottles. You threw as much as you could into the suitcase and you finally took one look around your home.

You saw the hole in the wall that your husband’s fist had left when you dodged it. You saw the broken glass still in the corner from before he left. You saw the broken picture frames, the blood-stained carpet that you tell your guests you had accidentally cut yourself and didn’t realize it but it was actually from your husband hitting you so hard you were bleeding from your mouth.

Chills went down your spine. You were attempting to get out. You knew that if you were caught, he would kill you. You needed to get your son somewhere safe. You were done looking around your house, there were no good memories except the one’s you made with your son. You didn’t deserve this abuse anymore. You didn’t know where to go, so you found your way to the FBI. If there’s one person you could trust, the only male you could trust, you were going to him.

It wasn’t long until you pulled into the FBI building parking lot. Your son was in the middle of his nap, but you were just hoping that it wasn’t loud or busy in there. If he did wake up, it wasn’t the end of the world, you needed to get out of this relationship, you needed to do better for your son.

When you made your way into the building, your eyes started to roam around. You were trying to look for him everywhere. You knew he wouldn’t be down here, he always needed an office, but you just were trying to look for comfort, a familiar face.

You explained to the receptionist that you needed to see him. You knew he was the unit chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, you were proud of him. He always set high standards for himself. He had been through so much, he was a survivor, too, but not many realized that.

When you were escorted into the BAU, you were met with an older man walking by. You learned his name was Dave Rossi and you told him your name and your son’s name.

When he asked if there was anything he could do for you, you just asked politely to see Aaron Hotchner’s office. That really drew everyone in the room to look at you. You don’t know how close these people were but, they were a team, you could only assume they’d been through everything together.

Rossi knocked on Aaron’s door and you heard his voice. You hadn’t heard his voice in 3 years. It sent shivers down your spine. You were really getting help, and you were getting it from the love of your life, the man you always wanted to be with, but weren’t good enough for, you didn’t deserve him.

When you walked in after Rossi opened the door for you, you were met with Aaron writing something in a case file, working hard, and being busy. You began to think how wrong you were to come here. This shouldn’t be Aaron’s problem. Maybe you were just overreacting. But now you needed to come up with an excuse for why you were here.

“Hi, Aaron.”

Aaron’s head shot up from his desk and all it took was one look from Aaron for you to begin to break down. Aaron didn’t know what was going on, so when he looked at Rossi, the door was already being shut to give you two some privacy. You didn’t know what caused you to break down, maybe it was because your lover was here, seeing you at your worst, yet you’re still here.

You placed your son’s car seat carrier on the floor and Aaron wrapped his arms around you. He didn’t know what the hell was happening, but all he knew was that someone he loved deeply, even though he hadn’t kept in touch for the last 3 years was hurting, and you didn’t deserve to feel whatever you were feeling.

As he held you in his arms, he began to look down at your sleeping son, and when he tightened his arms around you, he didn’t miss the way your shirt rose up, leaving your skin bare. When his hands touched your bare skin, you tensed up, and that’s when he saw it. He saw the marks, the fresh ones and those still healing. He began to roll up your sleeves, he didn’t care if he was crossing boundaries, he needed to see that those were real. That the love of his life, the one he let go, had bruises old and new.

His first priority was finding out who did this to you so he could kill the man who was hurting you. He also knew that there was a sleeping baby in his office, who didn’t look more than 6 months old. If the man who was beating you touched what he presumed to be your baby, he would for sure kill the man who did this.

“Who did this to you?”

Aaron was furious. His jaw tightened and his fist clenched with rage. Everything at that moment stopped. He wanted to kill whoever was hurting you. You could see that all in his eyes and in his body language. While you and Aaron broke up, you still remained friends through it all. Well, friends who just hadn’t talked or seen each other in person in 3 years.

You just were afraid to tell him. You weren’t afraid of Aaron. You never were. You were just afraid that he’d see you at your lowest point because you knew he already dealt with so much in his life and your situation would just add more problems to his life.

“Aaron.”

You began to pull away from Aaron as he still was holding your waist. When he let go, he still had no idea what was going on. Well, he knew something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. You had bruises, you tensed up at the feeling of his hands on your bare skin. His best friend, the love of his life, was in an abusive relationship and he didn’t know. He was a really shitty person for it. How could he not recognize that you were in an abusive relationship when you told him you could never meet him out for lunch anymore, or when he finally got one last lunch with you when you hugged him, held him a little tighter, and whispered “goodbye Aaron” after you kissed his cheek.

Aaron would always remember that moment 3 years ago and it killed him that he never knew why you said what you did. However, you here in his office, getting ready to tell him that you were in an abusive relationship only made him feel that much smaller, like such an asshole that he was a profiler and he couldn’t tell you were in an abusive relationship.

“Who did this to you? I will make sure he never sees the light of day again.”

“Aaron, I can’t tell you, he will find me, and he’ll kill me and my son. I can’t go back. I have nowhere to go. I just wanted to come and ask if you had any friends who were lawyers to help me out. I want to sell the house, but I can’t face him again. Is there any way you can help me out? Please, I’ll take you and Jack out for dinner. I’ll watch Jack and give Jessica a break. I’ll do anything, Aaron.”

“Wait. Slow down, slow down. You need to tell me who did this to you. I will help you. Of course, I will, but I need to know who has been hurting you.”

You were about to start crying even more. You weren’t ready to tell Aaron. You were, but you weren’t. All it took was one small cry from your son before you looked at him and were going to lose it. Aaron was profiling you and you hated it.

“I can’t, Aaron. You know I can’t. Aaron, please. I’m in an abusive relationship. I need out. I need the tracker disabled on my car. I need a lawyer who can help me make sure I keep custody of my son, Mason. But you have to understand, it’s better if I don’t say his name, for my sake and for yours.”

You picked Mason up from his car seat and Mason began to look around. When he laid his head back on your chest, you made eye contact with Aaron. He was still trying to make sure that Mason was okay.

“Aaron. You know I can’t say his name.”

“N-no, please tell me that after I broke your heart, this is what happened. This is what you got. You never deserved this. You deserved so much more. You deserved more than I could ever give you. You met someone, you met Jake after me, you were in a relationship with him for 10 years. He beat you Y/n. Please tell me that it’s not Jake who did this to you. Please tell me that it’s not the man I watched you dance with at your wedding while I wished it had been me. Please tell me that Jake didn’t do this to you, that you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time with someone.”

You reached out for his hand. You needed to calm him down, you needed him right now. You didn’t need him to take the blame for this. He couldn’t have known what was going on. You were great at hiding what was going on. That was the plan, to not get caught, to not have people feel sorry for you and try and help you, because you were in that cycle where you believed Jake could do no wrong.

“Aaron, it’s not your fault. I loved him. Well, at some point I did.”

“Why didn’t you come to me sooner? Why didn’t you tell me whenever we’d meet up? Why didn’t I say something? How did I not know?”

“Aaron, listen to me, please. I covered it up. I didn’t want our lunch dates, something that brought me so much joy, to be ruined for me. I wanted those moments to be good things. Something I could hold onto until the next thing happened. You were and had always been the one good thing in my life, Aaron. Now it’s you and Mason. Aaron, this is my son, Mason. He’s 6 months old. I’m asking you to please help us. I’m going to leave this state. I just need help with the car and a lawyer.”

Aaron stepped closer to you and wiped the tears that were falling onto your cheek. He placed his hand on your son’s back and said, “I’m going to get you the help you need. But I’m sure as hell not letting you two out of my sight until Jake’s in prison. You’re staying with me. I’ll get my team to disable the tracking device. I’ll be able to get Penelope to reroute the signal to say that the car’s at home.”

“Aaron, he already knows I left the house. He knows where I am now. I guarantee it.”

“Stay here. I’m getting my team.”

He kissed the side of your head and for once you weren’t tensing up when a man touched you. You followed him out of his office, too afraid to be left alone, even in a secure government building. You and he walked into the conference room with his team and you listened to him explain who you were and your situation, how you needed help.

Being in that room made you feel small and weak. These individuals were all going to help you. You hated that you were going to make their life worse. Whoever was going to try and help was going to be affected by Jake. You knew it would.

Penelope said, “We are going to take care of you, girlie. We will take care of you and your son. I’m already hacking into the tracking system. My chocolate thunder here is going to disable the device on your car once we find it. We will work some magic. You go take that precious baby boy in your arms back into Hotch’s office and we will work our magic.”

Your son started to get fussy and you looked at Aaron. “I know you’re already doing so much, and I hate that I’m bothering you, but is there a microwave where I could warm up his bottle?”

“No, you’re not bothering me. Come on. Guys, I’m going to warm up the bottle and then we’ll be in the office. No one leaves until we make sure they’re safe. Got it?”

The team all shook their heads and gave you a sympathetic look. You and Aaron began to walk out of the round table room and he walked into his office to help you grab your son’s diaper bag.

“I can take it, Aaron. You can just tell me where it is. I’ll feed him in there. You’ll have your office to work.”

“No. Nonsense. I’m not letting you out of my sight ever again.”

When you began to warm up his bottle, you started to scoop the formula and Aaron said, “I know it’s been a while since Jack was a baby, but can I hold him? I know how hard it is to make a bottle with a wiggly baby.”

“Are you sure?”

Aaron began to take Mason from your arms and your heart melted at the sight of Aaron and Mason. The way he held Mason was a fatherly way that you wish you saw in Jake. Jake never hurt Mason, but you also made sure Jake was never alone with Mason. You didn’t want to think about what would happen if Jake snapped at Mason the way he snapped at you before.

Aaron’s fatherly instincts worked well. Mason was starting to settle down in his arms before he even began to eat. When Mason grabbed for Aaron’s tie, you found yourself smiling.

“I haven’t seen that smile since you and I were together.”

“It’s been a while. Only Mason gets to see this smile. Jake doesn’t deserve it.”

“You’re right. He doesn’t. He doesn’t deserve you. He didn’t deserve to have you in his life for 10 years, to treat you the way you were treated for the past 10 years.”

When you and Aaron made his way back to his office, he shut the door and you sat on the couch. You began to feed Mason and Aaron pulled out a pad of paper. He sat on the chair next to his couch and you looked at him.

“I have to ask you everything he did. As much as you could tell me. We also need to take pictures of the bruises. We’ll get you to a hospital, to make sure there’s nothing more than bruises, no broken ribs, no healing fractures.”

“I’m not going.”

“Let me help you.”

“I just asked for a lawyer friend. That’s all I need from you. I will be out of here as soon as they-”

“I already lost you two times in my life, I’ll be damned if I lost you a third time. I want to help you and Mason. Please let me help you. I need to know what he did. I’ve already sent a text to one of my colleagues who I went to law school with. He’s pulling all your files now. We’re taking care of it. If we get you to a hospital.”

“Then you’ll see the very worse of what he did to me. You’ll see the healing fractures, you’ll see the scars. I don’t want you to see that, Aaron.”

Aaron looked like he was going to snap his steel pen in half. He was gripping the pen so hard when those words came out of your mouth and then you saw the color drain out of him. He couldn’t believe what you just told him. He knew you were scared, but how could you be scared of him? How could you not want him to know how Jake hurt you?

“I won’t think any less of you. You’re stronger than I could ever be. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.”

The team was out in the parking lot disabling the tracking device from your car and they all began talking. They saw your car, how you’d thrown random things, well not random, your necessities into the car. They knew that your relationship must have been bad.

Rossi spoke up when he looked in your trunk and found a box of pictures and letters. He saw the bruises, cuts, scars, and marks all over your body that you had taken. He saw the pictures you took of your house, the broken pictures, the broken glass, the mirror.

Penelope said, “I don’t want to see her like that. Are there any happy ones? I mean, I don’t know how she could be happy with him, but is there anything? Maybe there was a trigger in the relationship. At one point she had to have been happy with him. That’s why she went out with him?”

“That’s how the cycle works, Penelope. He was probably good to her at the start. Then as things went on in their relationship, maybe she burnt something she was cooking and he went off on her. Then maybe it was she tripped and he blamed her for tripping over his mess, or maybe it was he squeezed her arm so hard to gain her attention and it left a mark, one of the first marks that he intentionally wanted to leave. But then he’d make it up with something romantic. Just when she’s had her breaking point, maybe considered walking out, he did something nice.”

Penelope’s heart was breaking at the thought of you, someone she didn’t even know was hurting. She wiped her tears as she was trying to rummage through the photos of your deepest, darkest secrets.

“But where does she come into Hotch’s life? When we met him, he was with Haley.”

Rossi found a smaller box. When he opened it up, he found pictures of a younger you and Aaron. He found the ones of you and him kissing.

“I know why she’s here.”

He turned the picture of you and Aaron towards the team and they immediately began to get teary-eyed.

Morgan said, “Hotch was her boyfriend before she got into this relationship.”

The team all looked at each other as Rossi continued to look into the box. Then he saw the flash of something when the sun hit just right. When he moved it to try and find the flash again, it’s when he saw it, taped to a picture.

Rossi pulled out the photo of Aaron kneeling on the ground, holding the ring out to you. The same ring that was taped to that picture.

“More like a fiancè.”

The team looked at him and said, “What?”

Rossi showed them your engagement ring and picture and said, “They were engaged. Hotch was her fiancè.”

Next Part

#aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x single mom!reader #aaron hotchner fanfic #Aaron Hotchner angst #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #Criminal Minds

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hag-o-hags · 8 months ago

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There's a trainer in my area who's apparently considered a ~wonderworker~ with Problem Dogs. My friend took her boy to this lady's program and came back with

Detailed instructions for using the shock collar

Spray bottle

Wand of Rolled Up Newspaper

Bigger issue with defensiveness over the dog's behavior, reactivity, and needs than before

NOW, this poor boy won the Behavioural Issues Lottery

(weened at 4 weeks)

(because his dam was too young and trying to kill her litter)

(herding dog mix)

(first 13ish months living mostly in an apartment)

(mom works in the hospitality industry so schedule and stability for dog is NOT GREAT!)

(several issues with VERY BAD pet sitters) (all relatives of mom or other mom) (moms were furious and none of those people are allowed to be alone with EITHER dog)

so like. I'm not at all gonna pretend like this kiddo doesn't have some pretty bad issues. I've been on the receiving end of his warnings a couple times, but he was warning me -- very clear visual snarl that he didn't want me near the barrier that he was behind (kennel once, pet gate once). I backed off and we were immediately cool. I got some sniffs when we were back on the same side of the gate.

And that's my thing with this boy. He's got Needs. Me too man, I'm right there with you.

I'm pet sitting right now, and in all honesty, all we're doing is hanging out. Nobody's getting redirected beyond "don't jump on me, and quit mouthing my sleeve". We had one incident of Misdemeanor Countersurfing and Resource Guarding with Intent. And I know -- I know -- how scary and intimidating it is to be on the receiving end of a reactive dog's warning! Second Mom is very scared of trying to take food from him and they have a whole protocol that uses the Wondertrainer's techniques.

But all he needed to give up the forbidden food was a normal ass dog biscuit. Swapsies, nabbed the remains, reactivity back to zero.

This dog, not least because of Our Lady of Aversion Training, is treated like a live grenade and the moment something SLIGHTLY bad happens, oh god no, klaxons, strobing lights, women and children to the lifeboats first.

He's not, though, he's just a boy who has had ALL his boundaries and communication ignored, and people are stressed out AT him. All the time. I'm sitting outside writing this, and the dogs run up, get up in my business hoping that this is a Sharing Doughnut I've got here (NOPE!!!!!) We started this weekend with him kinda sorta being okay with some ear scritches after he gave my hand a good sniff. This morning he wasn't fully sure about me initiating head pets, but he communicates that super clearly if you know what you're looking at. I'd offer, he'd get tense, I'd back off, and WHAT DO YOU FUCKIN KNOW. Now he running up and shoving his head into my elbow for pets.

BECAUSE IT WASN'T A BIG DEAL WHEN HE TOLD ME NO. Nothing he can do can make me freak out, so HE'S not gonna freak out.

Super bonus, I've been working on muzzle desensitizing with him as well, because right now the method is Mom And Only Mom Traps Him And Tough Tits If You Miss The First Time, Call The Vet to Say We'll Be Really Really Late. Which. Mmrg. Muzzle was a requirement to attend the Wonderclasses, which I get, it's a basket muzzle, we want everyone to stay safe. I guess the instructions were "Bring the dog muzzled and shock collared and be prepared to zap him if he gets aggressive or out of line." (FUCKIN. WHAT ARE PEOPLE PAYING THIS LADY FOR. JESUS FUCKING. SHRIEK.) (I mean where even is the fucking spray bottle in this hierarchy? FUCK.)

Anyway, boyo does not care if I walk around with the muzzle, will HAPPILY eat peanut butter off a plate with the muzzle ... this is a very, very teachable dog. He's not a live grenade, he's like. At WORST a firework. If you're a moron and you fuck around, sure. Finding out may involve losing your arm. But MAYBE you shouldn't have been fucking around that hard and engaged your giant primate brain for 12 seconds. Don't try to douse a fire with gasoline maybe?

#for the record he finished this lady's program 6+ months ago #and oh BOY I was not kidding about defensiveness becoming another gift my friend took from her training #I'm sorry to say she's not doing super great?#but I get it it really sucks to have yoiur little boy in this positiuon #ANYWAY. they heard about the Wondertrainer from one of her adherents randomly at the lake #I'm FURIOUS at this lady #caesar milan ass you know what always helps anxiety MORE ANXIETY type shit #I'm not saying that I'm the actual dog whisperer by any means but #YANNO I' AM PRETTY CONFIDENT THAT I WON'T MAKE IT WORSE!

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wenevergotusedtoegypt · 1 year ago

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Was ex-Supervisee surprised about being fired? She seemed so insouciant about the whole thing. Reading all your anecdotes I kept thinking she doesn’t seem very invested in this job at all so maybe she didn’t mind? That must have been a tough convo for you to have, anyway, so hopefully you’re relieved it’s all done.

Surprisingly but also maybe not surprisingly, she seemed surprised, but she definitely did mind (I didn't share everything that happened leading up to the firing, obviously, so that was a fair assumption without the full information). She probably felt like she had in fact improved and was therefore safe, because she came on time 4/5 of the days after I told her she had a week to turn things around and did things like volunteer to work on things over the weekend and then do so even after I told her not to (basically, way overcompensating in meaningless ways). But I still had an entire list of issues that came up during that week, including a continued lack of taking ownership of mistakes (which was really the thing that was the biggest deal to me out of all of it).

Personally, if I'd been given a week to improve and 1 week later my supervisor walked into the building and immediately asked me to come into an office before even turning on her computer, which had never once happened before, I would assume I was about to get fired, but instead she brought her laptop into the office like she thought we were going to discuss a project, and even when I started the conversation with, "Look, I'm just gonna rip off the bandaid here," she still showed no sign of comprehension until I actually said the words "I have to let you go." Then she looked surprised. During the conversation afterwards she cried, so like I said, she definitely did mind.

I just got access to her email after some IT delays and saw an email she sent to HR the next day asking some exit procedure questions, and it's clear from that email that she (at least as of last week) is STILL just deep deep in some kind of denial. She claimed that she was given no chance to say goodbye to her coworkers, just told to pack up her things and leave, and brought up that it didn't seem like that was standard procedure because she'd seen another coworker let go who wasn't treated that way.

a) I did not even treat her that way...she stayed on the premises for like an hour afterwards and I did nothing to rush her out. She saw multiple coworkers during that time and didn't say anything to them, just left. For a firing, I had every right and ability to have her escorted out of the building immediately by security, but I didn't do that! I let her take her sweet time!

b) The other coworker in question wasn't fired, she was laid off and continued working for another ≈week and a half after finding out. So yeah, she had more time to "say goodbye" and had a goodbye lunch. Because she DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. You don't get to keep working when you were fired for cause, and that would be the most awkward goodbye party ever! "Goodbye, Supervisee, we won't miss you because you sucked at your job and couldn't be bothered to do better despite warning after warning, but best of luck next time!"

Anyway, yes, hugely relieved to have it out of the way and be done with the whole situation.

#I guess it’s easier to tell yourself you were a victim than admit you screwed up #but like don’t trash talk me to my coworkers when you know that’s not what happened

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nebulous-frog · 2 years ago

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hoping for more (Ch1/10)

Relationships: Jon/Martin/Tim, QPR Tim/Sasha

Summary: Tim wishes Jon and Martin would warm up to each other- the archives can’t handle much more of this awkward, tense energy. When Martin starts living at the archives, things begin to change. Tim sees an opportunity to ease the tension, get Martin and Jon more in sync, tease his friends goodnaturedly, and fall in love. Wait, fall in love?? Oh, dear. That wasn’t supposed to happen. He’s sure he’ll be happy so long as they’re happy… (and they’re sure he’s a crucial piece of that arrangement)

AN: This is for the @bunnies-in-the-archives event! This fic got... much longer than I'd expected, lol, so I've broken it up into chapters that I'll be posting soon (aiming for one every few days, depending on my work schedule! They're ready to go, it just takes a bit of coordination to get them out lol).

My wonderful artist is @yakov-ukha, who made some fantastic art that I could stare at all day! Massive thank-you to you <3

Link to AO3 Fics Masterlist ART

Martin took a deep breath at the base of the steps of the Institute. The last few days had been rough, but it was Friday. He’d keep his head down, do his work, and have a nice self care weekend to forget all about it. He just had to make it through the day.

As he opened the door, he heard a voice call his name.

“Martin! Wait up!” Tim came bounding up the steps, a tray of to-go mugs precariously tipping in one hand and a paper bag clutched in the other.

“Morning, Tim,” Martin replied as he held the door. He mustered up a smile, pretending he wasn’t as tired as he felt.

“Thanks, wasn’t sure what my plan was here,” Tim joked, gesturing with his full hands at the door and crossing the threshold.

Martin nodded and followed Tim inside. “Of course. What’s all that for?”

“Just some morning goodies for the crew. I’ve got some muffins in the bag for everyone, plus everyone’s drink orders. Things have felt a bit… tense this week, wanted to end it on a high note. There may or may not be an extra treat for my favorite former library assistant.” Tim grinned and bumped Martin’s arm with his elbow.

Martin laughed, blushing. “Oh, that’s nice of you. It’s definitely been a bit of a tough week, it’ll be nice to have a good start today.”

“Sure thing, man, you deserve it,” Tim said with a wink.

The muffins weren’t just for the group morale, Martin knew. They weren’t even just a pick-me-up for him, specifically. He noticed the way Jon’s eyebrows raised in surprise and interest for a moment before dropping back into his affected scowl- his clear attempt at seeming more in control and boss-like- and he noticed how Jon’s posture and steps weren’t as severe as usual. It sucked that his boss needed treats in a bid to boost his mood so he wouldn’t be so mean, but Martin couldn’t argue with the results. For the first time all week, he made it through the whole morning and most of the afternoon without any conflict with Jon, either in the bullpen or in Jon’s office.

Unfortunately, he didn’t quite make it to the end of the day. About an hour before they would all clock out, Jon’s door opened suddenly.

“Martin,” Jon barked. He was glaring down at a file Martin was fairly certain he had delivered to his desk earlier that afternoon. “I need to speak with you immediately.” He turned around and disappeared from the doorway.

Martin felt Sasha and Tim’s worried glances as he sighed, closing his eyes for a moment to brace himself before walking across the room to face whatever he’d apparently done wrong this time.

Out in the bullpen, Tim pulled out a sticky note and quickly folded it into a little origami heart. He drew a duck wearing a top hat, hoping the randomness would surprise a smile out of Martin whenever this impromptu meeting ended, and he rested it on Martin’s keyboard. Sasha nodded at him approvingly, and they both turned back to their work to wait.

A few minutes later, Tim looked up when he heard Jon’s door shut. Martin was walking out, face bright red, looking utterly exhausted.

“Hey, Martin. You okay?” Tim asked cautiously.

Martin startled, seemingly lost in his head. He looked up and briefly met Tim’s eye before looking anywhere else. “I- Yes, I’m fine. It’s just- it’s fine. Just didn’t include my citations properly again. I’ll just… I’ll be in the break room for a minute.” He nodded to himself, then walked to his desk to pick up his mug on the way out the door.

Sasha caught Tim’s eye and gestured with her head towards Martin’s retreating figure. Tim sighed and stood to follow.

A promotion to a job like this definitely was stressful, Tim told himself. Of course Jon’s been acting differently. Gertrude left the archives surely worse than she found them, to a degree where even a conservative estimate would suggest it would take decades to undo her mess. Jon didn’t have archival experience or a degree in it, and Elias was always pushing for more. It made total sense that Jon’s stress was such that he’d turned into a bit of a dick.

It just hurt that Jon hadn’t seemed to have noticed.

When he entered the break room, Martin was shuffling some boxes of tea around in the cabinet and the electric kettle was already heating.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tim asked, standing in the doorframe.

Martin sighed, shoulders slumping, arm still outstretched in the tea cabinet. “I- I don’t know what to say.” He settled on some chamomile and pulled it out with two mugs.

Tim knew chamomile wasn’t Martin’s first choice, knew that he only picked it because Tim liked it. He wished Martin would make whatever would actually soothe himself, but he didn’t say anything; Martin was the sort of person who relaxed most when his care instincts could be used on someone else.

“That’s understandable.” Tim took the milk from the fridge and passed it over, then leaned back against the counter.

“I’m just- I don’t know what to do anymore? I don’t- I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong, it seems like there’s always something new.”

Tim nodded sympathetically. “If it helps, I don’t think it’s anything to do with you, really.”

Martin scoffed. “What do you mean? He only ever chews me out, I know you and Sasha have noticed. Definitely feels like it’s me.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” Tim reassured quickly. “He’s absolutely the harshest with you in totally unjustifiable ways. I just meant that while you’re the target, it’s not necessarily personal.”

Martin shot him a look that clearly conveyed every ounce of skepticism he contained.

Tim’s lips quirked in a small smile. “I know, I know. Jon just knew me and Sasha back in research, we have history. Jon and I have been friends a long time, and he knows Sasha would eviscerate him if he was this nitpicky with her. He hasn’t given you a chance and he hasn’t given you the benefit of the doubt, so he’s decided you’re an easy target for his stress. That’s not excusing it, not by any means- he needs to get it together and do better- I only mean that it’s really not you. It’s him.”

The kettle clicked off and Martin began pouring the tea in silence for a moment. He sighed again.

“Yeah. Has he always been like this?”

Tim shrugged. “Sort of? Not this intense, but he’s not the most aware and he didn’t particularly handle his stress well in research, either. But he’s gotten more uptight and less personable. He used to laugh at my jokes and make his own jokes. He’d get this little grin whenever he’d manage to make someone laugh, it was always…” Tim sighed and shook his head, clearing it of the memories of that cute smile and the adorable snort noise Jon would make if he was surprised enough with a joke. Jon’s cute idiosyncrasies were not the point. “I think the stress of this job has really affected him.”

Martin hummed and blew on his tea before taking a sip. “That makes sense. I wish I’d gotten to know him before now. Maybe this would’ve been easier.”

“Maybe, yeah. I’m going to try to get him to get away more, at least get him to do something outside of work every once in a while. Maybe that’ll help him relax a bit? I miss my friend, and I’m tired of watching you walk out of his office all sad. It’s not fair of him to be like this.”

“Oh. Yeah, I suppose. Just… don’t tell him we talked about this, yeah?”

Tim shot Martin a horrified look. “Of course not! What happens in the break room stays in the break room. I’ve got your back. Besides, getting him to chill out wouldn’t just hopefully help you, it could also make the whole work culture better, make my job easier to do, and maybe even get my friend back, at least a bit. Trust me, I’ve been thinking about this a lot now, and especially after this week. Something has to change.”

A small smile graced Martin’s lips. “Right. I’m glad it’s not just me being sensitive, that you’ve noticed it, too.”

“Definitely. And Sasha has, too. We much prefer it when you’ve got that smile brightening the room,” Tim said with a wink.

Martin snorted and rolled his eyes. “Okay, that’s enough of that, then. I’m getting back to work.”

As they left the break room together, Tim graciously did not mention Martin’s blush.

#tma #jmart #bunnies in the archives

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btscontentenjoyer · 11 months ago

Text

The ending of this chapter 😳😳😳

"Jungkook watches your form, hands clasped together with your nails sinking into your skin. Your head is bowed down, unable or unwilling to look at him this whole time. He knows he’s at fault, too, but he’d never admit it; he’s not exactly the type to do that." Oh I feel so bad for OC 😔😔

"You stand there in submission and a part of him wants to apologize, but that’s not the type of weakness he wants to show, not when he needs to establish authority and more importantly, distance." It's a tough job needing to establish yourself as the person in power when working with a new team but also making sure that you're not overdoing it, although Jungkook might be steering towards the former a liiittle too much.

"You try your hardest not to look at him, even if it seems like he wants you to, just so you can see the burning way he does it. Because you feel him huffing, you can see how he’s clenching his fists as he controls what he’s feeling, which is definitely anger towards your stupid mistake." It's kinda sad that the most emotion we've seen from him has been anger or annoyance. But then again, it hasn't been the best start from him at this new position 😔😔

“And this is his first time working with me. My dad’s gonna hear about it and give me shit for it.” Of course Jungkook is under immense pressure too! But that's why they need to work as a team instead of him expecting her to do everything exactly how he wants without any help.

“A tough week?” he mocks, his voice getting louder now. “As if you’re the only one who’s had one? I come here and find myself doing your job. I spent the weekend drafting the designs because I need that deal early only for you to screw it up! My father’s been on to me about this project and I need everything done right but I can’t seem to because my assistant, who’s supposed to be assisting me, can’t even get the most basic things done. All you had to do was bring the folder. You didn’t even have a contingency plan of having a soft copy. Were you not trained for this role?” On the one hand, at least he's not one of the people who expects his employees to work hard without him doing the same, on the other hand though, he could definitely be doing more to help OC I feel like.

"A month ago, you’d be saying these things and more with so much conviction. But all it took was one Jeon Jungkook to break you down and make you doubt every single skill you’ve developed and been praised for the past few years." She really did seem so much more confident and sure of her competence at the beginning, the pressure he's put on her must have really got to her. Not to mention the fact that she may be trained to be an assistant, but his demands are a lot more unique and specific than what she's used to.

"There’s silence on your end and you’ve never felt as small as you do right now. The way Mrs. Byun abused her power over you and humiliated you during your first years here continues to be unmatched, but being treated this way by a man whose family you respect somehow hurts you more." 😭😭😭

“You do things very differently from Mr. Jung like you said, and I admire your thoroughness,” you start, trying your hardest to calm the tone of your voice. “You’re adjusting to your new role with a new team and a new assistant that you didn’t choose but somehow you have to trust and that’s unnerving if you’re used to being in control of everything. With all due respect, however, perhaps if you let the people around you adjust as well, we would all find a way to work together effectively and respectfully. A little bit of compassion wouldn’t hurt, and it goes a long way.” Tell him girl!!!

"He’s unsure why. Perhaps it’s the way you spoke to him, similar to the way you did the first time you met over a week ago - with conviction and grace despite you putting him in his place. Maybe it’s him, trying to find the words to apologize without seeming weak, or to encourage you without being comfortable. The tiniest part of him just wants you around; he doesn’t know what it is about you but he finds himself feeling intense emotions because of you - frustration, fear, and an overwhelming feeling of sadness and regret." I knew from the start he's the kind of person to appreciate her standing up for herself and being honest and upfront! That last sentence tho 🥹🥹🥹

"You want to tell him that the Arts Center already sounds amazing; you hope it turns out the way he imagines. He wants to tell you that he won’t fire you, that despite how he’s been, he doesn’t want you to go anywhere." Pleaseeeeee 🥺🥺🥺 This feels exactly like those moments in kdramas where we hear those things in their inner monologue but they never say them out loud 😭😭😭

"He checks his phone as he gets a message and sees the email you sent 20 minutes ago - the presentation he’d asked you to submit in the morning. This is you, making up for today, he guesses. He’s why you’re braving the rain. If he’s being honest, he’s why you’re suffering at all, and he can’t help the way his heart stings at the thought." 🥺🥺🥺

"You welcome the rain. It served as a distraction when you were growing up and your mother’s ex-partner would yell nonstop. You’d hide in your room and cover your ears like your mother taught you to do. When she was able, she’d stay with you and cover your ears with her own hands and tell you that it’s gonna be okay, that even if you can’t stop the scary sounds, you can drown them out enough that they’ll stop bothering you." Oh, so that's where that comes from 😔😔😔

"Now, you feel all that crumbling. You feel exposed, bare; as if you’re realizing you’re not that good after all. How you’ve been isn’t like you. You’re meticulous, analytical; you’ve sat in so many meetings as an observer and know how things work, how the directors think, and the kinds of outputs expected from you. But recently, you find yourself just lost, questioning everything all the time, and so incapable." I honestly understand OC so much, I've been there, trying to find my footing in a new situation, feeling like all of the skills I had built and was proud of weren't enough, any confidence I might have had about myself crumbling with each mistake I make just because I'd never encountered a certain kind of problem before and didn't know how to deal with it immediately. I believe in her though!!! I'm sure she can make it!

"You read mostly picture books and colored on your coloring book and played with your paper dolls. Even as you grew up, you didn't really read; you just liked that the library was quiet, comfortable, that it made you feel safe." 🥺🥺🥺

"There’s silence that comes after, a way in which you both say things without words sometimes. Your mom is good at that, and even if you can’t see her, you know there’s love in her eyes. And even if she can’t see you, she knows there’s sadness in yours." Aaaaaw their relationship seems so precious.

"The thought settles in your head. You did just tell Jungkook that you’d rather he fire you, which honestly terrifies you because much as he’s insufferable, you do need this job. Helping your mom over the weekend reminded you of that. From the health insurance to the salary, you don’t have to worry too much because you can finally repay her for all her hard work in raising you, in protecting you, in surviving for you." 🥹🥹🥹

"Your mother taught you something else - it was grace. You’d fight back if you need to, but you can always do it with gentleness; sometimes that works wonders, especially if you can’t afford to respond with rage." That's beautiful 💕💕

"You enter the front door - as he’d told you to just go in so you don’t disrupt his workout - and immediately hear the loud sounds of leather hitting leather. He seems to be aggressively punching the sandbag, with more evidence of it coming in the form of his deep and successive breaths that you can hear as you walk towards the kitchen. You stop on your tracks, though, as a pair of red laced underwear lays crumpled on the floor." Ooooop 🤭🤭🤭

“She’s gone,” he says, walking to his bathroom. “I never make them stay.” But then he has already said he wants OC to stay!!!! And it's in the title too!!!!!!

"It’s a part of his life that you’ve only heard of. The gossip that Do-hyun hears from the washrooms in the office may be true, considering his weeknight bang and the left-behind underwear on the kitchen floor. He still had some energy based on his morning workout though, and you don’t know why the thought of him fucking someone and then boxing in the morning is making you feel hot all over." OOOOOOOOP 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 The man has stamina for sure!!

"Jungkook tries not to look affected as the older men ask you more details about what happened that he, of course, didn’t know about. There’s that guilt over how he treated you yesterday, learning now what you had to do over the weekend. You don’t seem the type to blame any oversight or mistake on something like that, but he would know that the tiredness and preoccupation could definitely affect things. Even more, he’d implied that you don’t work hard and that you’re being a burden to him, which is far from the truth." I think it's even more admirable then that she didn't blame any of her mistakes on all of these circumstances! She really owned up to them even though she had so many excuses she could use, and they would be valid too.

"You smile before shifting your eyes to your desktop screen, not wanting to look at him any longer because a second more and you’d probably burst into tears. Experiencing Hoseok’s kindness for these few minutes has just reminded you of what you constantly miss - that feeling of safety and care, of someone looking out for you and not holding you back." 🥺🥺🥺

"Because he did just that. What felt more alarming than his apology was that it had been a reflex for him to have his hand behind you, his heart leaping a bit because you really were close to falling. An injured version of you isn’t something he wants to deal with, and he convinces himself that it’s because it would look absolutely terrible for his assistant to get hurt on the job, and especially in his presence." Hehe I'm sure that's the reason 🤭🤭🤭

“Uh, yes,” he responds. “Be, uh, be careful.” 😭😭😭😭

“He wants to get closer to you, you know?” Hoseok continues. “He hopes that with you being around, he can mentor you, learn from you. All those years that you were home, you felt so far away from him, farther away than Jeong-sik who wasn’t even here, and he doesn’t know why.” It will be interesting to see Jungkook and his father's relationship progress through the series too!!

"Jungkook doesn’t correct his cousin, more for the fact that Hoseok really does get caught in the middle - always has, even between him and his older brother whom Jungkook never really got along with; it definitely isn’t because he acknowledges that he cares about you. There’s no reason for him to feel that; you’re just his assistant, after all." 🤭🤭🤭

"Being beautiful and capable and hardworking doesn’t have anything to do with being cared about." Lmaooooo. Imagine if he actually told her that he thinks of her that way one day though 🥺🥺🥺

"Jungkook laughs along. He agrees, and while it was not Hoseok’s intention at all, it does make Jungkook wonder even hours later - given all the things that characterize him, which are nothing like the older man’s - who would want him? Who would even take a chance on him? Who would even think it’s worth it to be with him?" 🥺🥺🥺

“That’s, uh, thank you,” you mumble, turning on your roller chair to retrieve your bag and start packing, only to look up and see through the window that Jungkook can see you right now, smiling like a giddy child. There’s this movie that’ll show on your favorite local channel and you’re glad that you’ll be able to catch it tonight." Cuteeeee

"For Jungkook, it’s just not something he’s able to fully or even properly do. What does he say? He’d brag about his work and his lifestyle if he was the type, but he isn’t, and there’s nothing else about him that he’d like to share. He’s always straightforward when it comes to these things. He’s picky; he does have a type, after all, but he always knows what they want and so do they." I wonder what it is that has made him see himself in this way 🤔🤔🤔 It really seems like his work is the only thing he values and is proud of when it comes to him.

"Jungkook likes the thrill, he likes the shallow intimacy he gets from the feelings of ecstasy and carnal desire. He likes that he doesn’t have to share anything about himself apart from his name so they could scream it, likes that there’s nothing about the other person to uncover, and that there’s nothing about himself he has to be honest about. He likes that he’ll remember the pleasure until the next day but nothing else - not her breathing, not her gentle touches on his chest, not her soft whispers of his name." He really doesn't like himself huh 😔😔😔 Or at least it feels like there's a lot he doesn't like about himself, doesn't want to face. I'm so intrigued by his character!!

"And then there’s you, dressed in your skirt and blouse in his living room, with a look of shock on your pretty face." OOOOH what an ending for a chapter!!!

I really really love the pacing of this story and how much we get to explore the characters' minds and motivations! So excited to see what's in store for these two and how much more we'll get to see of their inner worlds!!

I Want You to Stay (02) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 11.9k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.

Playlist 🎶: on the way home

A/N: Hiii really touched with all the love for this story! I don’t know about you but this hits harder with all the boys away and we’re missing them so badly. But we’ve got this! 💕 But thank you thank you for all the messages (sorry I can’t get to each one!) and the interest and excitement. Hope you enjoy this one ☺️

And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight 🥰

PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!

Despite hoping that he wouldn’t, Jungkook, in fact, pushes you further away on his second day on the job.

To his defense, it was partly your fault. You smiled at him last night - perhaps due to your delicious dinner that you didn’t even know was from him - and it disarmed him.

The words you uttered after just flew over his head and he just nodded, too out of it to confirm what you’d said. It probably had something to do about you not coming to his penthouse, because it’s Tuesday morning and you’re still not here. He’d expected that like yesterday, you'd prepare his breakfast, and after all that transpired, debrief after yesterday’s meetings and discuss the next steps. That was his routine with Lucas, and for all the things that you seemed to know and do right - from his room design, the doneness of his eggs, and his coffee - this was a miss.

“Aren’t you supposed to be assisting me from the start of the day?” Jungkook says over the phone, his tone sounding annoyed. “I’ve been waiting for you since 6:30.”

Your heart drops at his words, the memory from last night of him agreeing to you sticking to the same schedule you had with Hoseok suddenly feeling like some made up scenario. You remember telling Jungkook that you go straight to the office the rest of the week; you’d only go to Hoseok’s house on Mondays to prepare his clothes and brief him because he’s able to manage from Tuesday onwards. Your new boss, for some reason, perhaps misheard your question. And now you’re the one in trouble.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Jeon,” you bring yourself to say, your voice in a panic because regardless of who’s in the wrong, making him wait is not a good start to his day nor yours, and especially not to your already rocky relationship. “I can get a cab then head to you.”

“So you want me to wait for you some more?” He chides, his dry laugh making you want to throw your phone just so you won’t hear his voice anymore. “Just stay wherever you are, but I want the meeting minutes from yesterday ready when I get there since you’re not here to go over them with me.”

Jungkook hangs up and your head thumping on your desk is immediate. It’s barely the start of the day and you already want to go back home and probably never come back.

You left the office at 9 last night, knowing you were too exhausted to continue working on the annotated documents, and then got soaked in the rain on your way home. You planned on coming to work early - given that your boss didn’t require you to go to his penthouse, a claim you stand by - so you can continue, but now he wants the meeting minutes in an hour, and that isn’t usually due until three days later.

Neglecting the sandwich you planned on eating for breakfast, you work on your notes from the first meeting and then move on to the next. Every footstep you hear makes you anxious, and you breathe a sigh of relief every time you find out it’s not him. Every minute counts and you’re thankful for each one. Until, of course, you run out of it.

“Send them to me now and meet me in my office,” his voice echoes through the hallway that leads to his room.

Jungkook walks straight past you and doesn’t even give you a look.

“Yes, sir,” you squeak, quickly sending the email then scurrying to where he is.

You find him seated on his chair, his leg crossed over the other one as he goes through the notes on his iPad, his furrowed eyebrows making you sweat in worry. He doesn’t seem pleased. But from what you’ve witnessed so far, you doubt there’s much that pleases him.

He encircles words and scribbles on the sides, mumbling “incomplete,” “what does this mean,” and “this is not what I said.”

Jungkook sets the device on his desk and groans. He turns to you with a hard glare, and you clearly see just how displeased he is. Not that you have any defense - it’s your job to do what he asked in a manner that’s up to his standards - but you already felt discouraged in the morning, and your meal skipping caused you to lose focus in the afternoon, resulting in your less than satisfactory documentation of the meeting.

“Ms. Cho, do you know the value of these documents? And why I require them to be comprehensive and done on time?”

“Uh, ye-yes, sir,” you drag out.

“Why?”

It’s too early for this, you think to yourself. Clearly you know why they’re important; you’re just too tired to articulate the reasons to him. But you try, as the words form in your head. You’re about to say them when he stands from his chair and walks towards his desk, leans on the edge and then intently looks at you, as if he’s judging even the way you’re breathing or standing. And you’d probably fail, given how your body seems to cower in his presence.

“Because decisions are made through them,” he says, drowning out your thoughts with his stern voice. “I attend numerous meetings everyday. Decision points can be buried in the discussions unless they’re documented properly. And even when they are, they’re not actioned upon immediately unless I have access to them and unless they’ve been processed and verified. I don’t leave those conference rooms and forget about what took place. They stay in my head, that’s why I ask you to write them down, and that’s why I require you to meet me first thing in the morning so that I can process them with you, and let those points guide me for the rest of the week.”

His glare continues, so does his voice getting louder. “My job isn’t just to sit around and listen to people. I make decisions. And it’s your job to make sure I have all the correct information to make them.”

“I… I understand, sir. And I… I apologize for the oversight,” you stutter, still unable to look at him. “But about this morning, uh… you, uh last night, I—”

“Was there an explicit statement from me about not having you come in the morning?”

“No, sir.”

He lets the silence draw out, perhaps to let your own words sink in. He does have a point. You stand by your claim that you’d asked, and he nodded, but you should also know that such gestures aren’t clear responses, and that’s on you to make sure that you’re both on the same page.

“I’m sorry, sir,” you say with conviction. “I made an assumption when I should have clarified. And even then, it’s your first week as Vice President. I should be assisting you in all the ways I can.”

Jungkook watches your form, hands clasped together with your nails sinking into your skin. Your head is bowed down, unable or unwilling to look at him this whole time. He knows he’s at fault, too, but he’d never admit it; he’s not exactly the type to do that.

You stand there in submission and a part of him wants to apologize, but that’s not the type of weakness he wants to show, not when he needs to establish authority and more importantly, distance.

“I require Lucas to still come every morning because that’s the only time we can debrief about the previous day’s activities,” he says, making his voice calmer now. “We go through the minutes, clarify things, finalize them, and then disseminate so that people don’t forget. Teams collaborate effectively when there’s accountability and when timelines are adhered to. It’s my job to make sure they comply. And that means it’s your job, too. I don’t have to remind you of your roles now do I, Ms. Cho?”

“No, sir,” you respond, finding the strength in you to finally look at him, his hardened stare still unnerving you.

He uncrosses his arms and walks back to his seat. “My cousin and I work very differently from each other. It’s on you to adjust.”

“Yes, Mr. Jeon,” you bow in acknowledgment. “I’ll be at your apartment at 6:30 every morning and I’ll do better with my documentation and preparation of all the files.”

Jungkook just hums then proceeds to work on something on his desktop, which you take as your cue to leave. You bow again and excuse yourself, but his voice stops you as you open the door.

“Push back this morning’s meeting to 9:00,” he says. “And make sure you have something to eat. I can’t have you be unfocused again like yesterday.”

You survive the rest of Tuesday. You eat snacks rather than proper meals, and you find that that helps you more with time and focus. The meetings for that day are less intense, but with you still figuring out exactly how Jungkook wants the documents prepared, you stay up after hours and work on them for the next day, with you constantly going over the recording to make sure that you documented everything correctly.

You arrive at his penthouse at 6:30 every morning during the week. You make his breakfast while he takes a shower, which is really whatever’s in his fridge or pantry. He doesn’t seem to mind what you prepare for him, and you’re glad that he doesn’t find any more severe reasons to dislike you. There’s still the occasional correction of your minutes, but you chalk it up to him just being too particular. There are terms he uses that you’re not familiar with; he’s an architect by training after all.

Perhaps it’s why he’s as specific and detail-oriented as he is, and more visual than anything. Hoseok is a perfectionist like him, but the older man has everything organized in his head and then executes them, whereas Jungkook needs them all laid out before him. Whether it’s about a policy, a process, and especially a design, he makes sure they’re drawn out, and the way they all just make sense to him is immediate.

You suppose that’s what he’s used to. Plans need representation beyond words; he doesn’t seem to be the type to use much of them, in fact, unless he’s correcting you. But that’s what you’ve noticed. At some points during the meeting, he’d draw something on his iPad and send it to you; you both discuss it the next morning, with you finding the words for it for proper documentation.

But his mind doesn’t seem to stop, as you catch him on the way to work sometimes doodling some design on this leather notebook that he carries with him everywhere. Whether it’s the Arts Center or something else, you’re not sure, but you know that any moment he pulls it out, he’d spend a good amount of time on it before getting out of the car.

He remains distant and disengaged as you expect him to be. Unlike Hoseok who asks you how your evening went or how the trip to his house was, Jungkook doesn’t talk about anything that doesn’t concern work. And so when he isn’t talking about it, there’s just silence - whether in the car, in the elevator, or the walk to his room. There’s none of the laughter or the questions about how you’re coping with all your tasks, and there’s definitely nothing about his life that he shares. Not that you thought he would, but the difference with your old boss is striking, as you think of the times when Hoseok happily talked about the salsa studio he was at with A-yeong over the weekend or the movie they watched together the night before.

The comparisons remain in your head throughout the week. You try to focus on your responsibilities but you realize that you haven’t properly moved on from the culture and environment that you used to enjoy when Hoseok was still leading the team, and that has affected your work in obvious ways, and especially your approach to it.

There’s anxiety with every task that Jungkook asks of you, even if they’re things you’ve done so many times in your three years as the VP’s assistant. You find yourself constantly clarifying his instructions, prompting him to question your ability to take them. You feel like he’ll be displeased regardless of what your output is, yet you still end up spending too much time going over files that you forget to eat or clock out too late. You don’t get proper sleep either, nervous about what the next day will bring. You second-guess yourself constantly, and all the confidence you built in all your time here doesn’t seem to have as strong of a foundation as you thought.

So when you make another mistake the following Tuesday, whatever belief in yourself that you have left dissipates.

“Ms. Cho, where is the folder?” Jungkook asks, his gaze hardening the longer you look at him without a word.

You’re currently at a restaurant, given that your boss has a meeting with Mr. Hu, the owner of the company that produces quality materials that Jungkook wants for the Arts Center. This was scheduled just yesterday, which is also when he’d asked you to put together the rough draft plans and design that he worked on last weekend. The project is in its early stages but the plans are clear to Jungkook and he wants to secure this deal early on, especially with Mr. Hu leaving the country for a few weeks.

You finalized this last night and left it on your desk along with the portfolios that Yoongi and the support team have been taking from your shelf. Given the week you’ve had - lack of sleep and frustration more than anything - you rushed to get ready and mistakenly took a portfolio and not the folder meant for this meeting.

“I… I’m so sorry, sir, but I seem to have taken the wrong files,” you stutter, eyes on the ground as you clutch the portfolio for support. “They… they were on my desk along with others and I left them in the office.”

There’s a long pause before Jungkook speaks, the irritation clear in his voice.

“Do you at least have a soft copy?”

“It’s on a USB, sir,” you reply, nervously raising your head. “I left it as well.”

You try your hardest not to look at him, even if it seems like he wants you to, just so you can see the burning way he does it. Because you feel him huffing, you can see how he’s clenching his fists as he controls what he’s feeling, which is definitely anger towards your stupid mistake.

Jungkook clears his throat before turning back to the man seated across from him, his voice apologetic as he explains that you weren’t able to bring it.

“Ah, what a shame,” Mr. Hu says, judgingly glancing at you. “I was really looking forward to seeing your plans, Jungkook. I could’ve advised my people to check on the materials you want this early.”

“I’m really sorry,” Jungkook says. “Perhaps I can email them over to you?”

“Oh don’t bother, I’ll be chasing the Italian sun for the next three weeks,” the older man chuckles. “I’ll see you when I get back. By then, I hope you and your assistant have sorted things out and could give me actual information about what you want.”

“We will, I assure you,” Jungkook says, before saying goodbye to him.

He walks past you and you follow, with no words said as you both wait for the car and enter.

You can hear him panting, and you know enough that's due to an extreme emotion he can’t express. He won’t look at or say anything to you, and that feels more terrifying.

His phone rings, and not only does the person on the other line talk about what just happened, you happen to hear it, too.

“Hey, I heard what happened with the big boss,” the man says. “Did you really go to the meeting unprepared?”

“It wasn’t me, but yeah, what a mess,” Jungkook huffs, his head leaning back on the chair, his eyes closed as he calms himself down. “What did he say? Is he angry?”

“Nah. You’re a Jeon; he can’t be. He was just a bit annoyed because he was supposed to have a meeting with another client but he chose to see you.”

“Fuck. What an embarrassment,” Jungkook groans.

“Well, he does have high praises for your father.”

“And this is his first time working with me. My dad’s gonna hear about it and give me shit for it.”

“Just another normal day at the office, right?” The man laughs. “So, was it your assistant that screwed up?”

Jungkook hums his yes, knowing you’re two seats away from him, although he’s unsure if you can hear their conversation. For your sake, he hopes you can’t.

“See? This is why you should’ve taken Lucas! That guy was always two steps ahead of you.”

“That’s what I said, but when are my requests ever granted? Never. Another normal day at the office, huh?”

“If she’s pretty, maybe you can forgive them and just suffer through her incompetence,” the man laughs again. “I mean, she’s got to have some redeeming quality somehow. If she doesn’t, that just sucks for you.”

“You really enjoy making fun of my misfortunes, huh?” Jungkook huffs.

“Just sometimes. Not used to you not having your way, that’s all.”

“Well, nothing is going my way, that's for sure. But whatever, I’ll figure it out. Make sure Mr. Hu holds out for me, okay? I need you to help me this time.”

“Hey, I may laugh at your misfortunes but I always have your back,” the man says. “Good luck, VP. I’ll see you soon.”

Jungkook drops the call and you feel him glance at you but you remain stiff on your seat, unwilling to move nor look anywhere else that isn’t your lap. You’re glad that he decides to close his eyes for the rest of the ride, though, so you take your chance to shift towards the window and watch the buildings fly by, willing your tears not to fall.

You hold out until you arrive at the building. That is, until Jungkook heads straight to his room and asks you to follow.

“Own up to your mistake and look at me,” he says, his voice seeping with disdain.

You lift your head and meet his eyes, his gaze piercing right through you and you’re unable to move, to speak. But you try - a futile attempt, really - at appealing to the compassionate side of him, if it even exists.

“I’m so, so sorry Mr. Jeon,” you plead for forgiveness. “I didn’t mean to forget the folder. It’s been a tough week and—”

You visibly shake but Jungkook doesn’t let up.

“Answer me.”

“I… I was, Mr. Jeon,” you tremble. “I know I’m not the smartest but I work hard and I—”

“You work hard?”

“Yes, sir.”

“In what?”

“In preparing your files and organizing everything for you and…” you try.

A month ago, you’d be saying these things and more with so much conviction. But all it took was one Jeon Jungkook to break you down and make you doubt every single skill you’ve developed and been praised for the past few years.

“And I can criticize each of those tasks in just this one week you’ve been my assistant.”

“I… I just needed guidance, sir, because it’s a new—”

“I need guidance. I need assisting,” he sneers. “My father wanted me to keep you because you apparently know how things are supposed to be done but you’re asking for guidance from me?”

There’s silence on your end and you’ve never felt as small as you do right now. The way Mrs. Byun abused her power over you and humiliated you during your first years here continues to be unmatched, but being treated this way by a man whose family you respect somehow hurts you more.

You want to give up now. You’ll lose everything if you decide to just quit but it’s not like there’s much left of you to go by anyway, given the week that you’ve had. But if there’s anything your mother taught you is that the lowest you can go is when you don’t fight for yourself, so you gather what little dignity you have left and look him in the eyes.

At his silence, you continue, digging your nails deeper into your skin to help you remain stable.

“I apologize for all the mistakes this past week. I know it has been unpleasant for you as well. I’ll do better, that I can promise. But if the way I work is not something that is up to your standard, then there’s only one thing to do. Me quitting would put you in a worse light; you can fire me if you think it is best,” you bravely state. “I can deal with the consequences.”

Jungkook continues to just look at you, unable to say anything this time. Perhaps he isn’t used to someone speaking to him like this. Maybe he’s finding the right words to hit you back and break you even more. The tiniest part of you wants to think you’ve softened him up a bit; hopefully he’ll be less angry at you the next time.

“Is there anything you need me to work on, Mr. Jeon?”

“No,” he answers. “Just hold off all calls for me for the next hour. I don’t want to be disturbed.”

“Understood, Mr. Jeon.”

You bow and head out the door.

Jungkook watches you leave, and the farther you become, the more he wishes you’d stay.

He’s unsure why. Perhaps it’s the way you spoke to him, similar to the way you did the first time you met over a week ago - with conviction and grace despite you putting him in his place. Maybe it’s him, trying to find the words to apologize without seeming weak, or to encourage you without being comfortable. The tiniest part of him just wants you around; he doesn’t know what it is about you but he finds himself feeling intense emotions because of you - frustration, fear, and an overwhelming feeling of sadness and regret.

He returns to his seat and glances through the window, the angle of his chair allowing him to see you outside, although he’s unsure if you’re able to see him. Either way, it’s not like you’ve ever looked his way anyway, so he feels a little safe doing this now.

You’re seated and turned away from the desk, with your fingers pressing over both your ears, as if you’re blocking out the sounds of the room; perhaps you’re blocking out his voice that’s probably still echoing in your head. He’d seen you do this last week, too, after you failed to show up at his penthouse in the morning. He thinks it’s your way of dealing with stress, a quiet one, in contrast to boxing like what he prefers to do. It’s the only time he’d ever allow himself to express anything, after all, other than getting mad at you apparently.

You finally turn around, but it’s not long after when Do-hyun arrives and takes your place, leaving him to wonder where you’re off to. He focuses on his work like he meant to do, opting to read and send emails while he calms himself down. His eyes always turn to your desk, though, and when he sees that he’s halfway done but you’re still not back, he decides to head out.

“Mr. Jeon,” Do-hyun stands up and greets him. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Where’s Ms. Cho?”

“She had to go to the washroom so she asked me to cover for her first,” she responds. “But, uh… She’s been gone for half an hour. I… I’m not sure what she’s up to but I can—.”

It’s at that moment when you return, and the way that both Do-hyun and Jungkook look at you that you know they can tell. You can’t exactly cry for 20 minutes and then expect to ease the swelling of your eyes for the next 10. But you act like nothing’s amiss, so you dismiss the younger woman and turn to Jungkook.

“Was there something that you needed from me, Mr. Jeon?” You ask nonchalantly.

“Just, uh…” he stutters now, taken aback by the casual way you speak to him despite your glassy eyes. “I’m meeting the CEO and President tomorrow to discuss the Arts Center. Put the initial plans in presentation format and send it to me first thing in the morning.”

“Yes, sir,” you respond, returning to your seat and not sparing him another glance.

You work on the presentation in between the other things you need to finish. You draft memos and letters for Jungkook’s approval, and it’s half past 4 when you enter his room to have them signed.

“I’m heading out at 5 for dinner,” he says as he signs the documents. “I’ve added points on the shared file for the presentation. Make sure to include those.”

“I will, sir.”

There’s a brief moment where you and Jungkook just look at each other, words swimming in your own heads that neither of you wants to say out loud.

You wish he’d offer an apology.

He wishes you’d say that you’re okay.

You want to tell him that the Arts Center already sounds amazing; you hope it turns out the way he imagines.

He wants to tell you that he won’t fire you, that despite how he’s been, he doesn’t want you to go anywhere.

But the moment passes and then it’s gone. You bow once more and then head out the door.

He leaves at exactly 5, merely nodding at you as he leaves.

Jungkook sees you again that evening, four hours later as he drives home after having dinner with Seokjin and Taehyung, the brothers he’d grown up with. The office is on the way, and it’s near the bus stop where he spots you, trying to catch a cab that someone always gets to before you do.

The rain has started to pour, and his anxiety builds; he was never fond of it, given the memory it holds. But it’s you in your thin coat that suspends that for a while. You’re clearly shivering, unable to get a ride, and getting wet from the downpour. You cross the street, seemingly just submitting to the weather, and you disappear amongst the crowd of people just trying to get home.

He checks his phone as he gets a message and sees the email you sent 20 minutes ago - the presentation he’d asked you to submit in the morning. This is you, making up for today, he guesses. He’s why you’re braving the rain. If he’s being honest, he’s why you’re suffering at all, and he can’t help the way his heart stings at the thought.

The convenience store is bright and dry unlike the streets outside, and that’s why there’s a substantial amount of people seeking shelter from the downpour that came out of nowhere.

You welcome the rain. It served as a distraction when you were growing up and your mother’s ex-partner would yell nonstop. You’d hide in your room and cover your ears like your mother taught you to do. When she was able, she’d stay with you and cover your ears with her own hands and tell you that it’s gonna be okay, that even if you can’t stop the scary sounds, you can drown them out enough that they’ll stop bothering you.

You didn’t think you’d ever do so again but you’ve done that twice in one week, and all it took was one Jeon Jungkook to lecture you about what your job entails. He didn’t yell, but his voice was still piercing, firm and low as if he reserves that intensity for instances of pure frustration.

That kind of thing takes a lot out of someone. It’s different when a boss is out to abuse their power and take advantage of you. Mrs. Byun made you do her work so she could spend her lunches out and then take credit for outputs without acknowledging you. She sucked up to the directors to overcompensate for not knowing how to answer their questions. And then she had the guts to embarrass you and call you out in front of the team for not being able to do your primary tasks, which was only because you were doing hers. It took a while but her incompetence caught up to her and her departure felt like freedom. But the experience with her was constricting, suffocating, humiliating. It was dehumanizing, too, as you went home to an empty apartment every night, feeling less and less of yourself.

But the way Jungkook treats you hits differently. You’ve survived the worst and ended up in a good spot under Hoseok’s leadership where you built your confidence. During those years, you felt capable, like you were trusted; you felt that your hard work earned you respect.

Now, you feel all that crumbling. You feel exposed, bare; as if you’re realizing you’re not that good after all. How you’ve been isn’t like you. You’re meticulous, analytical; you’ve sat in so many meetings as an observer and know how things work, how the directors think, and the kinds of outputs expected from you. But recently, you find yourself just lost, questioning everything all the time, and so incapable.

You let yourself feel the burden weigh you down as you eat a small cup of noodles and call it dinner. You walk down the aisles and pick out your favorite snacks, first eating the roasted almonds as you head out the door.

The rain has let up, with but a drizzle left this late evening. You catch the bus and munch on pepero and chocopie this time. You’re in your neighborhood by the time you tear open the frosted mini donuts. You’ve been mindlessly eating the whole time, but once you get off your stop, you start walking towards the community center. The public library is closed but something about sitting outside the door gives you comfort, just like it used to when you were growing up.

Your mom couldn’t really afford daycare. She’d spend her lunch break picking you up from school then dropping you off at a library where her friend worked; that nice woman always looked after you until your mom came back to pick you up. Some days when she wanted to take you away from the mess that was her partner, she’d take you there, too.

You read mostly picture books and colored on your coloring book and played with your paper dolls. Even as you grew up, you didn't really read; you just liked that the library was quiet, comfortable, that it made you feel safe.

Your phone beeps and you see a photo that your mother has just sent of her dry living room floor.

[From: Mom] it isn’t leaking anymore!

You smile, imagining her sigh of relief and the way she’s probably humming about the house. You decide to call her; another bit of comfort would definitely help.

“Hi, darling,” she answers after the first ring. “Min-woo went to the hardware store when he arrived in the afternoon so he could fix the roof. What a relief.”

“That’s great, mom,” you reply, wishing you were back home with her. “You can have a good sleep tonight, then.”

“I will. What about you?”

“I hope so.”

“Have you had dinner?”

“Hmm, yeah,” you hum.

“And where are you now?”

“Outside the library,” you say.

There’s silence that comes after, a way in which you both say things without words sometimes. Your mom is good at that, and even if you can’t see her, you know there’s love in her eyes. And even if she can’t see you, she knows there’s sadness in yours.

“So, work has been tough lately, am I right?”

Even without any confirmation, she already knows. She probably knew when you said that everything was fine after she asked how things were going during your visit over the weekend. She probably picked up the faintness of your smile and the way you fell asleep on her lap while you both watched TV and she combed your hair like she always did.

“The new boss is quite hard on me,” you admit. “He expects too much, asks me to do too much… I’m trying but I keep making mistakes. I’m missing things I normally don’t. I’m not like this, mom. I… I’m better than this.”

“Oh, darling,” she sighs, wishing she’d hugged you a little tighter before you left. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Maybe you’re still adjusting. That’s valid, you know? It’s only been a week.”

“Yeah, but he acts like he’s the only one who needs to adjust and that I just magically know how to do things his way,” you groan. “It… it just makes me feel like I’m not good enough. That I… that I shouldn’t be here.”

“___, you didn’t suffer through your first few years there just so you would continue to doubt yourself,” she responds. “You deserve your role, regardless of what he thinks. You work hard and that means everything.”

“Not to him apparently. Even if I work hard, if it’s not up to his standards, it doesn’t mean anything. I can’t even do anything about it because he’s the CEO’s son.”

“You can quit, you know?” She says after a beat of silence. “You don’t have to stay if it’s too much, and especially if it’s unfair. Just because you know you can handle it, doesn’t mean you should.”

The thought settles in your head. You did just tell Jungkook that you’d rather he fire you, which honestly terrifies you because much as he’s insufferable, you do need this job. Helping your mom over the weekend reminded you of that. From the health insurance to the salary, you don’t have to worry too much because you can finally repay her for all her hard work in raising you, in protecting you, in surviving for you.

“I know,” you sigh. “Maybe I just let the tough first days get to me.”

“Whatever it is, you shouldn’t suffer. And you definitely shouldn’t suffer alone,” she advises. “I’m glad you came over during the weekend even if for unpleasant reasons. I got to hug you even if I didn’t know you needed it.”

“I always need it, mom,” you admit. “I don’t have to say it. It’s the only one I get anyway.”

“Well, it’s because it’s the only one you accept,” she points out.

“True,” you laugh. “But I… I’ll do better. I’ll get my head straight tonight and treat tomorrow like my first day and you know, show him I’m capable.”

“That’s good. And you can come over again this weekend if you want. The storm should be gone by then. The girls want to go to the park. I know they’d love to hang out with you. If you don’t have plans of course.”

“You know I only ever have actual weekend plans when Jimin and Soomin visit me. But yes, I can take the trip on Saturday. If Jungkook wants me to do any work… screw him.”

Your mother laughs, only because she knows you don’t mean it. You know it, too. Regardless of how you think of your boss or your job, you know the value of your work, and you’re not one to sacrifice it for any reason.

“Are you feeling better, darling?”

“Yeah,” you smile. “The rain’s stopped somehow. I needed to be here. And I… I needed to hear your voice.”

“Good. You know you can call whenever. I don’t have to summon you with photos of a roof or grilled makchang or something every time.”

“I know. And I will. I’ll see you soon.”

You drop the call and start walking back home. Talking with your mom is the strength you need to get through such a tough day. It doesn’t change your situation; maybe Jungkook will still be upset with you in the morning but you’ll handle it, just like you handled all the difficult times before.

Your mother taught you something else - it was grace. You’d fight back if you need to, but you can always do it with gentleness; sometimes that works wonders, especially if you can’t afford to respond with rage.

You’re quite nervous walking to Jungkook’s penthouse the next morning.

Before he left last night, you were sporting glassy and swollen eyes, after all; it wouldn’t have taken much for him to know what you were up to by being away from your desk for half an hour. But you’d been too upset to think of what he would think about it, so you acted like it was nothing when you returned to your seat, took note of his instructions, and watched him walk out. No other words were spoken and quite frankly, you don’t know what either of you could have said after what transpired. It’s a new day, though, and like you told your mother, you’ll just focus on your work and try to get that old version of yourself back, the one you’d felt slipped away this past week.

You enter the front door - as he’d told you to just go in so you don’t disrupt his workout - and immediately hear the loud sounds of leather hitting leather. He seems to be aggressively punching the sandbag, with more evidence of it coming in the form of his deep and successive breaths that you can hear as you walk towards the kitchen. You stop on your tracks, though, as a pair of red laced underwear lays crumpled on the floor.

That definitely wasn’t there yesterday morning so it must’ve been from last night. You’re not one to judge; he did have a frustrating day that you caused and releasing all that stress in this way is understandable. You just wish he had the courtesy to clean up, knowing that his assistant would be coming but then again, you also don’t know if that’s too much to ask of him.

You don’t realize that you’ve been staring at the underwear until you hear him, his deep breaths in tandem with his steps. You walk towards the counter and set him a glass of water before he notices what’s got your attention, but he still does, as he stops at the spot where you were and lets out a grunt.

From your periphery, you see him pick up the piece of lingerie then throw it in the trash. You turn to him and bow in greeting, and Jungkook merely nods, the slightest of head tilts to acknowledge your presence, seemingly avoiding your eyes, even as you ask what he prefers to eat this morning. You’d like to think that in the recesses of his bitter heart, there’s remorse over yesterday at least, if not over the past few days. But you’ll take it; his silence is better than anything at this moment.

You follow him towards his bedroom, stopping briefly as you look around and make sure you’re not intruding. You’re unsure if the woman is still here, but he picks up on that.

“She’s gone,” he says, walking to his bathroom. “I never make them stay.”

It’s a part of his life that you’ve only heard of. The gossip that Do-hyun hears from the washrooms in the office may be true, considering his weeknight bang and the left-behind underwear on the kitchen floor. He still had some energy based on his morning workout though, and you don’t know why the thought of him fucking someone and then boxing in the morning is making you feel hot all over.

You snap yourself out of it, knowing it’s inappropriate and definitely not what you should be worrying about. He’s a stressed, obviously attractive, and rich bachelor; you’re not surprised he’d have women at his beck-and-call and be nonchalant about it.

You walk inside his closet and choose the shoes and accessories he’ll wear today before heading back to the kitchen to prepare his breakfast. He walks in 30 minutes later, and you approach him to fix his collar and his tie like you always do, now getting used to his natural scent with hints of jasmine and bergamot. Your eyes focus on the silk necktie, hoping you’re able to control your nervous breathing being this close to him.

He may still be annoyed at you and you may be invading his space, and the realization makes you step away quickly, taking his plate from the counter and placing it on the dining table. You open your iPad and go through the presentation he asked you to do, surprised that he’s already added a few things.

“Is the presentation final, Mr. Jeon?” You ask. “I see you’ve already looked through it.”

“Sort of,” he responds. “I woke up at 5 and reviewed it before my workout. Let’s go over them now.”

He looks through his iPad as he eats, going over each slide with you as if he’s practicing. The more he speaks, the more you envision the Arts Center and how he wants it done. The way he puts together the ideas into a coherent design is impressive. You almost see it as he does, and much as you thoroughly dislike him right now, for the sake of all the good things that this center will do for people, you really want him to succeed.

You remind him of a few more things before he finishes his meal, and it’s not long after when you’re in the car, the silence thickening the tension between the two of you once more. This continues until you reach the office, and you breathe a sigh of relief at the distance between the both of you now.

While you do feel better, the anxiety remains. You don’t want to mess up. And as you enter his room to give him papers to sign and you see him going through his presentation while the leather notebook he was drawing on earlier lays open on the desk, you find yourself also just not wanting to disappoint him. He clearly works hard and despite his treatment of you, you want things to work out for him.

It’s an hour later when you’re both walking towards the elevator to head to the conference room on the CEO’s floor. It’s just Jungkook with his father and cousin today where he’ll present the initial plans for their comments and their verbal endorsement of the draft budget.

It’s a massive project that’s working within strict timelines and Jungkook is adamant on getting this ready by mid-next year. You can tell how much he wants to deliver this well - the board of directors would be his next audience and a boost of confidence would be much needed.

You make him a cup of coffee the way he likes and sit next to him. The distance allows you to keep your eyes away from him; with the pressure he’s under, you don’t exactly want to be close to where you can easily trigger him.

CEO Jeon and Hoseok arrive, greeting you with their bright smiles, a reprieve from the stoic looks and tight-lipped and furrowed brows you get from Jungkook everyday.

“Hi, Ms. Cho,” CEO Jeon says. “A week has passed, huh? How has it been?”

“Challenging,” you say honestly, “but still good. I’m learning new things, Mr. Jeon.”

“That’s good,” he smiles, glancing at his son whose eyes are focused on his laptop. The elder seems unconvinced by your half smile but he nods, turning back to you. “By the way, I heard on the news that the typhoon hit your hometown pretty badly. How’s your mother and her family? Mr. Ri mentioned that there was an incident over the weekend. Is everything okay?”

You’re used to CEO Jeon asking things like this prior to meetings. He believes it’s a way to release certain feelings and not keep them hidden, and while you don’t really want to talk about it right now, you appreciate the concern.

“She, uh. A large tree fell over our house last Saturday,” you say, to the surprise of both CEO and President. “I had to travel in the morning to help my mom. A portion of the roof was damaged and she had to call a company to fix it. Min-woo and the girls were away and mom didn’t want to deal with the workers since she was alone so I had to stay over the weekend.”

“That’s unfortunate,” the elder Jeon laments. “How is your house now? And your mom?”

“The roof is sealed. But she slipped on some debris and had to be assisted; she was being stubborn about it. She’s okay, though.”

“Ah, it must’ve been a tough few days. And for you, too,” Hoseok says. “I mean, given all the work and then having to be there for her. I’m sorry, ___. But I’m glad she’s doing better. Tell her I send my regards, okay?”

“I will, thank you.”

Jungkook tries not to look affected as the older men ask you more details about what happened that he, of course, didn’t know about. There’s that guilt over how he treated you yesterday, learning now what you had to do over the weekend. You don’t seem the type to blame any oversight or mistake on something like that, but he would know that the tiredness and preoccupation could definitely affect things. Even more, he’d implied that you don’t work hard and that you’re being a burden to him, which is far from the truth.

The conversation ends and he’s unable to look at you, as he stands from his seat to begin his presentation. Everything is set up, including a pointer and a marker and a glass of warm water on his side. He proceeds, presenting his design, the materials, the budget, and the timeline.

You take note of all his answers to the questions and the ideas he comes up with on the spot, with him repeating things and stating how he wants certain points written down. You’re immersed in your own task, feeling like you’ve found your rhythm because you’ve done this so many times but the fear got ahead of you. This morning, it’s as if you’re in your element again, and there’s relief that fills you this time.

The meeting is moved to a restaurant after the third hour. There’s an event that the CEO suggests that Jungkook’s team organize as a way to build linkages with the arts and culture networks, making sure that the younger Jeon becomes known in those fields as well.

You have to go by memory as you listen and eat your meal, but the distance from Jungkook remains. You merely nod at his words and avoid looking at him unless you need to. It’s your way of getting over last night, you think. You still have his look of frustration etched in your mind and it’s still a bit fresh; you’d need at least another day before you can look at him normally again. You hope that other than Jungkook himself, no one notices.

But you suppose you’ve underestimated Hoseok’s ability to pick up on your behavior; it’s one of his strengths as a leader, after all. He’s always been good at reading people, a skill that Jungkook clearly didn’t develop.

“Hey.”

“Mr. Jung,” you greet, a wave of nostalgia hitting you because his smile is one you used to see everyday, regardless of how stressed he was. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“No, not really. It’s just been over a week but I’m still getting used to the bigger office and the new secretary but I just wanted to check in,” Hoseok says. “You and Jungkook have been very busy, I rarely catch either of you.”

“Well, he wanted to get all the introductions out of the way so he can focus on the Arts Center,” you reply. “There’s a lot happening with that one so he’s in meetings and calls all the time.”

“Ah, of course. It’s a good design and I’m sure it’ll boost the local arts scene. He got inspired during his travels in the Southeast Asia sites and has been talking about it for years. It’s good he has the freedom to work on this now.”

You merely nod, not having much to say about your boss’ passion project that’s just made him angry and frustrated. Quite frankly, you don’t know how he is when he isn’t working on such high-pressure matters, but you can already tell he isn’t someone you’d want to be around in any other context.

“But how about you? Are you getting enough rest? All these meetings and then traveling home on the weekend is tiring, ___. I hope you’re looking out for your health.”

“I am,” you try to assure him. “I can handle it.”

You smile before shifting your eyes to your desktop screen, not wanting to look at him any longer because a second more and you’d probably burst into tears. Experiencing Hoseok’s kindness for these few minutes has just reminded you of what you constantly miss - that feeling of safety and care, of someone looking out for you and not holding you back.

“I’m glad you are,” he smiles again, holding your gaze when you glance at him, and Hoseok hopes that in this short moment of calm, he’s able to give comfort that he just knows you need. “Anyway, I just wanted to drop by. I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“I’ll see you, Hoseok.” And as if you knew why he came over in the first place, you add, “and thank you.”

Jungkook sighs in frustration as he watches your fading smile before returning to type away on your desktop. He was about to call you to ask for a project portfolio on the shelf but stopped once he saw you talking to his cousin. You seemed a tad bit lighter than usual; Jungkook could only assume it’s your natural state, even if all he’s seen of you is that of perpetual worry and stress.

He thinks to himself that a part of that is because of him. Maybe a big part, he admits. He wouldn’t have known about your town in Daegu or that your mother resides there and that you had to go home over the weekend, hence, your oversight yesterday. He’s at least decent enough to acknowledge that he shouldn’t have been so harsh on you in the first place. He’s just not used to things not going his way; he wonders now what the people under him suffered through to make sure of that.

Not wanting to disturb you, he decides to get the portfolio himself, so he exits his room and leans on your desk, his eyebrows scrunched as he reads through the spine labels of the folders. He doesn’t notice you stand up and attempt to ask what he needs but he does find it, reaching over on the third shelf for it.

“I could’ve gotten that for you,” you huff.

Jungkook spots a small pout as you utter the words, disarming him a little.

“It’s… it’s fine,” he mumbles, willing his mind to go back to what he was thinking about before you said something, which is the other project he wants to look at.

But you pick up on his words. “Seongbuk, 2021,” you repeat.

You look up and know exactly where the portfolio for that project is. You drag your stool with your foot and walk up the steps, carefully pulling out the folder and underestimating just how heavy it is. But before it can slip out of your fingers, Jungkook gets a hold of it, his right hand gripping the spine while his left palm supports your back.

You stiffen when you realize just how close he is to you then step down the stool, somehow nervous to look at him.

“I, uh, sorry. You were about to fall.”

You stiffen again because he didn’t just apologize, did he? Your eyes are glued to the ground and you don’t see Jungkook’s surprised look.

Because he did just that. What felt more alarming than his apology was that it had been a reflex for him to have his hand behind you, his heart leaping a bit because you really were close to falling. An injured version of you isn’t something he wants to deal with, and he convinces himself that it’s because it would look absolutely terrible for his assistant to get hurt on the job, and especially in his presence.

“Is that all you need, Mr. Jeon?”

“Uh, yes,” he responds. “Be, uh, be careful.”

He takes both folders and heads back to his room, his face buried in the pages as you sneak a glance at him from the window.

“So, how’s the second week as VP going?” Hoseok asks his cousin from across the table of their favorite Japanese restaurant during their Friday lunch. “Worse than the first?”

Jungkook, not keen on answering truthfully, merely shrugs.

“Well, I can bet you though that ___ is definitely having it worse than last week.”

“Did she say anything? About me specifically?” Jungkook asks, his curious eyes telling Hoseok that it’s more of concern than anger.

“Of course not. She’s there to protect you, Kook, not tell on you. Is there something to say? About you specifically?”

Jungkook knows how well his cousin can read people, especially him. They’d grown up together after all, and had gotten close because the older man always stayed next to him, knowing how shy little Jungkook used to be. So he narrates what happened - that he’d gotten angry, that he was being too strict, that he wasn’t leaving you room for adjustment. He’d of course excluded his own oversight and need to establish distance and authority, chalking it up to not having the familiarity and conveniences he’d been used to back in Singapore.

“I feel like working with father even closer now, it’s like I’m under a microscope,” Jungkook continues. “I don’t wanna mess up. I just don’t wanna give him a reason to criticize or question me.”

“Well, if he learns about how it’s been with ___, he’ll do exactly those things,” Hoseok responds. “He cares about his people, you know? I’m sure that’s the one thing he wants you to do right.”

“Can’t say I’d know. It’s not like he’s any more compassionate than I am. We’re talking about a man who yells at the managers who can’t get things done right.”

“They were abusing their power, that’s why,” Hoseok explains. “And I’m not here to defend the man - I’ve been on the receiving end of his anger twice and saw how he’d push people to their near breaking point a few times but he’s not a terrible person. I’ve seen him be understanding and caring to his staff way more; you just haven’t been around that much.”

“It’s not what I saw growing up.”

“Well, we remember what we want, and forget the parts that don’t make sense to us.”

Jungkook stays silent as he munches on his steak.

“He can’t expect to be a rich, ambitious businessman and be close to his son,” Jungkook huffs. “All he ever cared about when I was growing up was work. Sure, he had rare good moments, but we all know it was to compensate for always being too busy. He pressured me to do well at school then missed awarding ceremonies. He scheduled some family time then left me and my brother in some cabin in the woods by ourselves. He wants to work with me here then disallows my requests. What does he want from me?”

“Your time, I suppose. Maybe your understanding, too.”

“Did he give those to me when I was younger? He had so many chances these past 30 years and he wants those now?”

“People are complicated, Kook. Sometimes they lose sight of what’s important, of what’s in front of them… doesn’t mean they’re bad people,” Hoseok says. “And it doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a second chance. I mean, don’t we all want that? Don’t we all grow out of our bad habits and just yearn for something good?”

“Not everyone does that.”

“Maybe not, but your father has. And he just wants another chance. And whether or not it was her fault, I’m sure ___ wants that, too.”

“Did you really ask me to treat you to lunch only to advocate for the people I don’t really care much about?” Jungkook laughs bitterly.

“No,” Hoseok chuckles. “I really wanted to try it here. But also, uncle took me out to drinks before you arrived and was all honest with me, which was a little weird but I guess he thought he could get some perspective from you through me. And ___ was my assistant and I think highly of her. It’s upsetting how things started for you both. I guess I just feel kind of caught in the middle between you and the people you actually care about. So yes, I deserve this free lunch.”

Jungkook doesn’t correct his cousin, more for the fact that Hoseok really does get caught in the middle - always has, even between him and his older brother whom Jungkook never really got along with; it definitely isn’t because he acknowledges that he cares about you. There’s no reason for him to feel that; you’re just his assistant, after all.

Being beautiful and capable and hardworking doesn’t have anything to do with being cared about.

“I… I admit being too hard on ___. I get that she’s good and stuff but maybe that fits with your leadership style more,” Jungkook tries to reason. “Maybe she just thrives in a team where she’s led by someone like you, someone who’s good with people and who’s process-oriented and I don’t know, someone who isn’t as tough or meticulous like me.”

“I’m sorry, Kook, but you sound stupid. You clearly don’t know anything about her. She’s experienced all the lows - the disrespect from the men, the abuse of power from the women, all the long hours and ridiculous deadlines, the loudest of yells and the craziest demands,” Hoseok exclaims. “She’s been here for just eight years but it feels more. Sometimes I don’t know why she stayed but I’m glad she did, selfishly, and that’s because she helped me so much. Are you… are you giving her reasons to leave so you can have Lucas with you?”

“No,” Jungkook dismisses the thought, although he does admit it entered his mind before he even started. “I’m just… not used to her. And the mishaps didn’t help. I just wanna be able to do my job and do it right.”

“And you will, if you just loosen up a bit and give her a chance to show you that she can help you. It’s just that I’m not seeing that same joy and energy in her eyes and her smile,” Hoseok explains. “I was thinking last Wednesday that maybe it was because of her mom but during the meeting this morning, it was the same. I’d hate to think that’s because of you. Because if it is and she’s thinking of resigning, I won’t stop her. I might even suggest it to her. “

The thought of you being gone causes a lump in Jungkook’s throat. It’s selfish, really, because despite how he treats you, he still wants you here. It’s just as silly, and stupid, and something he doesn’t have a clear reason for. But other than his cousin not trusting that he could treat you fairly, it’s the possibility that you might just quit yourself, something you seem to be capable and willing to do. And that voluntary departure is something he doesn’t want to deal with. Once you leave, you’ll just be gone; he won’t have a reason to seek you.

“I’ll do better,” Jungkook finally says. “I’ll stop being such a pain in the ass and be… kinder, I guess.”

“She’ll probably see right through you if you fake it,” Hoseok laughs. “Just be fair. Trust me, that’s what she’d want, too. Correct her if you need to, but do it constructively. And please, try to smile every once in a while. It won’t hurt you. Nor would it ruin whatever tough guy image you have.”

Jungkook playfully rolls his eyes but he lets out a chuckle. His cousin won’t ever let go of the fact that 18-year old Jungkook had his first tattoo because he wanted to look tough.

“I still have to establish authority, Hoseok. I can’t do it like you do.”

“Well, you’re missing out. Smiling always makes you feel a hundred times better.”

“She’ll probably see right through me if I fake it,” Jungkook repeats his cousin’s words almost mockingly. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows I’m not… cheerful. It’s like, how I’m compared to you.”

The two start walking back and Hoseok takes a jab at the younger man. “Actually, I heard that I’m the handsome one, too, and the stable guy, the family man, the man you’d take home to meet your parents…”

Jungkook laughs along. He agrees, and while it was not Hoseok’s intention at all, it does make Jungkook wonder even hours later - given all the things that characterize him, which are nothing like the older man’s - who would want him? Who would even take a chance on him? Who would even think it’s worth it to be with him?

Chaerin did, and then he self-sabotaged and lost her. Maybe the women he meets at clubs and takes home, but then all they want is a good time anyway, just like him. Maybe it’s someone he’s never met, but he also doesn't know how to be someone that someone else would love.

Maybe there isn’t any. And maybe that isn’t so bad. Perhaps he’d have to start getting used to that fact; it’s easier than realizing he’s not meant to be with someone after all.

He pauses the thought and decides that’s for the weekend version of him to lament over. This Friday afternoon, he’s focused on firming up the project details with the design and logistics teams. He’d just finished his meeting with them, with you barely looking his way just like you’ve done throughout the week - which he can’t fault you for because he was doing the same - and he’s back in his room to coordinate with other units.

You, on the other hand, seem to be fixated on the quarterly reports that you’ll be handing over to him. It’s past 5 and he knows you’ll be staying up late again, given that he’d ordered you at the start of the week to finish the reviews by Friday. He’s given you too much to do, and after everything he’s done, letting you off early is a way for him to apologize without actually apologizing.

He picks up the phone and calls you.

“How many reports do you have left to review?” He asks.

“Three more, Mr. Jeon,” you answer. “I’ll finish them tonight, please just give me another hour and a half.”

“Are you going home to see your mother tomorrow?”

“Uh, yes, sir. I leave in the morning,” you say, curious at the question that you never thought he’d ask.

“You should clock out now, then.”

“Oh, but the reports, sir. I—”

“It’s okay,” he says, surprising you. “I’ll be busy with Arts Center details this weekend so I won’t have time to sign off on the reports anyway so you can continue them on Monday.”

You’re too shocked to speak that it doesn’t register that you’re indeed not saying anything.

“Ms. Cho?” Jungkook repeats your name.

“Oh, uh, yes, as long as it’s okay, Mr. Jeon.”

“Yes, that’s what I just said.”

You’re unsure what Jungkook’s eaten to be dismissing you this early. Maybe it was the lunch he had with Hoseok earlier; maybe it was the older man knocking some sense into him. You don’t have the energy to think about it, given that you now also have time to cook yourself proper dinner and enjoy eating it while watching and curling under your comfy blanket on your tiny couch, just like how you used to enjoy your Fridays.

You’ll deal with the unreviewed reports and Jungkook returning to his normal, grumpy self on Monday. Tonight is all about you, and the weekend version of you is about being with your mother, her partner, and your stepsisters. There’s nothing like being with the people who make you feel safe; you’ll deal with the stress when a new week rolls by.

Jungkook watches you excitedly leave your desk. He can’t imagine the relief you’re feeling of being relieved this early and then spending your Friday evening the way you want, however that is. He lets himself wonder for a bit how you would spend time by yourself. Yoongi did say your friends aren’t in Seoul and your family obviously isn’t.

But then again, maybe you do have a partner, and maybe that’s why you looked as happy as you did. He’s not quite sure what to do with the slight distress at the thought, but with the absurdity of the amount of times he thinks about you, he decides it shouldn’t matter anyway.

He has his own plans, too, like watching sports over bottles of beer that night, and then playing video games the next day before going to a bar with Seokjin and Taehyung.

That Sunday, he works all morning then works out in the afternoon. In the evening, he decides to meet his friends again.

Entering the club, he spots the table where they are - Seokjin has his arm around a woman and his lips glued to her ear; he pulls her closer as she laughs at his words. Taehyung has one next to him, too; they’re engaged in some serious conversation, it seems, given how passionately they’re talking to each other. That is, until his hand slides inside her dress; maybe it wasn’t that deep.

Jungkook doesn’t know how his friends can converse with the women they find in these places. Given, Seokjin tends to stick to the same one for months and Taehyung is just naturally flirty and friendly so maybe it’s not that hard.

For Jungkook, it’s just not something he’s able to fully or even properly do. What does he say? He’d brag about his work and his lifestyle if he was the type, but he isn’t, and there’s nothing else about him that he’d like to share. He’s always straightforward when it comes to these things. He’s picky; he does have a type, after all, but he always knows what they want and so do they.

So when he spots a woman by the bar - the one who’d bought him a drink last night - he just smirks as she takes her shot and bites her lips when she catches him looking.

“Hey, I finally caught you sober,” she giggles in his ears after she meets him halfway.

“And I finally caught you without a man next to you,” he whispers. “Should I be worried?”

“Nah, he was just my plaything last night,” she responds. “I could be yours.”

Jungkook chuckles, enjoying her bluntness. He takes her hand and waves at his friends; they already know he’s taking off and they won’t hear from him for the rest of the night.

It’s the way most of his evenings go anyway, whether he’s here or in Singapore or elsewhere, really.

Jungkook likes the thrill, he likes the shallow intimacy he gets from the feelings of ecstasy and carnal desire. He likes that he doesn’t have to share anything about himself apart from his name so they could scream it, likes that there’s nothing about the other person to uncover, and that there’s nothing about himself he has to be honest about. He likes that he’ll remember the pleasure until the next day but nothing else - not her breathing, not her gentle touches on his chest, not her soft whispers of his name.

There’s nothing much about her he’ll care for other than that she had a good time. And there’s nothing about tonight he’ll regret, except not making sure that she left his apartment like he always asks them to do.

Because it’s Monday morning, and there’s that woman wearing his coat and nothing else.

And then there’s you, dressed in your skirt and blouse in his living room, with a look of shock on your pretty face.

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