#can anyone guess what scene came to me when i was sick? i feel like it may be obvious lol

[diyasgarden]

no pomegranate trees

patrick zweig x reader, 4.9k words, features mentions of blood

I was treasuring my past, I was treasuring your future [taken from in our garden there was no pomegranate trees by Şükrü Erbaş]

Patrick’s made the street vendor blush now. A soft rosy color against the depth of her cheekbones, only emphasized by the way her gaze sheepishly flits down to the table in front of her. Her eyes run over the piles of citrus and pomegranate. A futile attempt to regain some composure that only serves to make her look more flustered. 

The slight upturn of his lips becomes more defined as you both take her in. It’s the same smirk he would use to convince a caterer to give him a bottle of champagne when you were teens and too bored at whatever gala you were dragged to. Or at one of those dinner parties to deflect questions when everyone felt entitled to know your dreams and mock you for it. He’d use it when visiting you in a new city to snag a few extra drinks at a club or get out from paying the full taxi fare. So routine, it feels intrinsic to his spirit. The sharp, lopsided smile blooms an odd sense of comfort in your chest, its familiarity mildly drowning out the worry about this random trip to visit you. 

He took a red eye after some challenger in the midwest, and landed in Istanbul at eight in the morning. When he called thirty minutes later to tell you he was here to visit, “What? Can’t I surprise you?” was the only thing he said when you asked if everything was okay. Right before he hung up, he let out a laugh. A small chuckle that felt pushed out of his throat, and you regretted not asking about the tournament before the call ended. 

He leans over the table, closer to the street vendor who’s flush deepens at the action. “Please?” he asks, still grinning like the Cheshire cat. He fiddles with the money in his hand, thumb running over the wrinkles of the dollar and folding the edges aimlessly. She lets out what you think is a quiet giggle, but the bazaar is too loud to actually hear. Tired of watching the exchange, you look around to the other stalls by where you stand. Tables of produce and barrels of spices mostly, with booths lined with Persian rugs and copper pots in the distance. If you squint, you can see the fragmented light of mosaic lamps as afternoon descended into night. 

Even with the sunset around the corner, there’s a lingering sense of spirit to the market. A potent vibrancy of sounds, smells, and people, that navigating made you feel close to the heart of the city. Or as close as you could, only living here for a month. It wasn’t like any of the other places you lived. Not that you could really group any together, each with their own withstanding singularity. 

Often you’d wonder if Patrick felt the same way about the places he went to on tour. If every country club had its own energy or if any city struck out more to him. Although, you’d never ask. He’d answer it of course, but you couldn’t help thinking it’d be an insult to you both, and frankly it was just another question on the long list of things you wanted to ask him.  

You turn to look down at the piles of pomegranate in front of you, aimlessly reaching to cup one of them. The fruit is a little larger than your palm, firm to touch and vaguely leather-like. You squeeze to see if you can make some sort of mark on the hard exterior, but when you move your hand to the next pomegranate you see no indication you ever touched the first. Your fingers draw small shapes against the rough skin of the second, slowly stopping when you see Patrick’s hand come up to touch the same one. His thumb brushes against yours, the rough skin of a callous sending a pleasant shiver up your spine before he moves to pick up the pomegranate, along with the first one you touched. 

“We’ll take these,” he tells the shop vendor, reaching over to give her the money in his hands. 

“Seriously?” 

It takes Patrick a moment to even register the question, too occupied in trying to capture every detail on the walk back to your apartment. Sometimes he imagines a common thread between all the places you’ve lived. An intangible likeness that calls to you, even if the only true connection is the fact that you’ve lived there. 

When the playfully sarcastic tone of your voice pulls him away from the stray cats and street signs, he laughs. Deep and genuine, the sound seems to echo down the street. It’s a stupid question, but he can hear the slight undercurrent of unease in your voice. 

 “I haven't converted any cash since I got here,” he starts, with a small chuckle, thumb pressing into the skin of the pomegranate in his hand. He has one in each palm. The globe-like fruit fits perfectly in his grasp. “It makes no difference, she can just go take it in for whatever they use here.”

“Lira,” you sigh with a delicate smile. The edges of your eyes move in turn with your lips. Titled up to the sky with a ripple of gentle wrinkles bound simultaneously in content and worry that fill him with warmth regardless. The sight prompts a grin on his own, and he looks away in front of him, hand flexing against the firm curve of the pomegranate as you get closer to your apartment. Of course you’d know that. Now living in Istanbul for how long? Three weeks? A month? It’s not like you stayed long in one place anyway.

You moved to London after he first went on tour, in pursuit of some vision for yourself. It wasn’t a surprise, you and Patrick spent years discussing it. Him playing tennis and you traveling the world in search of something deeper. While he didn’t understand exactly what you’re searching for, he assumed your heart would eventually guide you to it. He just hadn’t expected it to take you to so many places. 

“Well she can go convert it for lira then,” he adds jokingly, voice slightly clipped. He wants to make some joke about how you’re settling into the country, but in between the jet lag and the thoughts in his mind nothing comes. He should have told you he was coming to visit. Called at least before the flight took off, but it’s all a blur to him. He was driving by an airport after his game, and the next thing he really remembers is the flight attendant telling him they landed in Turkey. 

His hand squeezes the pomegranates, the friction stinging against his skin. 

“I had lira, you know. I could have given it to you,” you suddenly say, stopping in front of the door to the apartment building. He turns to see you looking up at him with gentle concern. Eyes wide and lips parted like you have more to say. He has to physically restrain from pressing his thumb against the space between your eyebrows and pushing away the knit of worry that’s formed. He can’t decide if you look like an adult waiting for an explanation or a child waiting for an apology. 

He shakes his head, but can sense you’re about to protest anyway. Shifting both pomegranates to the same hand, he steps to open the door. “Now where else would I practice flirting in Turkey?” 

He’s been holding the pomegranates the entire way back. A tight grip which you’re convinced must sting. He has more calluses now, you think. Physical burdens of the tennis racket which hurt just to look at. 

You press the elevator button, and sneak another look at him. Tennis has always more or less left Patrick tan, but it’s more prominent now. Each day in the sun marked with a new freckle or wrinkle. Delicate little things which emphasize his age, no matter how much the boyish smirks or humor clings to his youth. 

Your gaze drifts down, following along the vein in his arm back to his hand, still clutching the pomegranate. Your hand gravitates to his, reaching for the fruit, but he moves just as your finger grazes it. The elevator doors open with a ding and he steps in, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. 

“Whatcha doing?” he asks, the smirk teasing a reappearance. 

“I can hold one,” you insist, stepping in beside him. You try to take it once more, and again his hands move before you can. He holds it up, too high for you to grasp as the elevator doors close with a metallic thud. 

“I mean sure…if you can reach it,” he grins, immaturity pushing its way to the front.

When you roll your eyes and lean against the elevator wall, his look softens to something gentler. His hand comes down to his chest and he cradles both pomegranates as the elevator moves up. The weight of his gaze remains on you, pushing your own to the ground. Now you stare at his mud stained shoes, an exhausted greyish brown against what was once white. It’d probably take at least five washes to get the stains out, stomach churning at the thought. With a stronger resolve, you look up again. “Give me one” 

“It’s fine” 

“Just give me one, Patrick” 

“No,” he chuckles, shaking his head. You don’t have another chance to try grabbing it as the elevator opens to your floor, his free hand extending to guide you out. With a sigh, you step into the hallway, hand digging in your back pocket for the key as you walk towards your door. Patrick follows, pomegranates still pressed to his chest as you come to a stop. He hovers closer, as you move to push the key into the lock. 

He’s never had any concept of personal space. You can feel him next to you without a glance, heat radiating off his body in waves. The smell of cologne and sweat fill your senses. Distracting enough that you hold your breath to unlock the door. Finally pushing it open and stepping in with a deep exhale.

You turn on the lights and look at Patrick. With his free hand he closes the door, locking it before turning back to you. The slight reddish stubble against his chin catches the light with a sharper shine than the browned undertones of his unruly curls under the light. His hair isn’t long, shorter than when you were teens, but the dark curls still move without any order. 

Closing the door and kicking off your shoes, you ask, “I’ll put the pomegranate in the kitchen?” 

He steps away, not even letting you reach for it this time. “I'll cut them soon.” Still holding them tight as he moves to kick off his own shoes. For a moment you imagine just grabbing it and running away, not giving him the option to say no. A silly thought. He’d be fast enough to stop you anyway. 

“Okay,” you sigh with a nod, turning away before you unwillingly give into impulsivity. “I’m making tea”

He followed you into the kitchen, unsure what else to do with himself. The apartment is furnished and decorated. Warm in its own way, but he’d much rather stay closer to you than just wander back and forth taking in the pictures on the walls. The pomegranates remain close to his chest as he leans against the fridge, watching you standing over the stove and pouring water in the dual teapot. He imagines you every evening coming back to this apartment alone and making tea for yourself. 

He likes to imagine what you do in each city. How your life is spent in a new place each time. Years ago he’d picture you moving somewhere new and exploring, making friends, and finding time to write and draw and do all the other things which made you happy. Now he isn’t really sure what you do besides what he sees in front of him. 

What would you tell him if he asked? Would you be honest? Lie about some grand adventure? Probably just deflect the question as a whole, but he wants to anyway. It's a desire rooted in concern that reeks of greed. 

“Jet lag?” you ask softly, shaking him out of his thoughts. “It looks..” you purse your lips, “like you may pass out.” 

Something about your voice makes it seem like he’s going to fall apart in front of you. As if there were stitches between each limb that would come undone, reducing him to a pile of bones that you’d have to put back together. He can’t help but snort out a laugh. 

“I’m serious,” you add, and when he looks at you he sees the knot of worry between your brows again. The worried wave of wrinkles scrunching tighter than before. 

For a moment he debates explaining the image in his mind, about him falling apart and you slowly rebuilding him, bone after bone, but it’d probably just make you more upset. No words come together in apology, so he sighs. With the deep exhale, he murmurs, “Just tired… I’ll sit down.” He pushes his back off the refrigerator, taking one last look at you and your worry, as he forces himself to the living room taking the pomegranates with him. 

The sharp smell of tea circles around the apartment as you pour it from the pot. You can feel Patrick watching you from where he sits in the living room, looking a little too out of place in your apartment. Both too big for the small ottoman he’s sitting on and for the space at all.  His hand is playing with the flimsy crown of the pomegranates on the coffee table in front of him, and you look away to stare at your faint reflection in the black tea. Slowly, you move your hands to the tray the thin-waisted cups rest on, carrying it with you to the living room. You sit on the ottoman across from Patrick, and place the tray down by the pomegranates. 

A weird sort of silence has formed between the two of you. The sounds of the street come in from the window, a honk every now and then, but neither of you have made a noise. It seems as if time has stopped within the walls of your apartment, giving birth to some half-silence that is too much to bear. Trying to fill the void, you pointlessly murmur, “Turkish tea.”  

Thankfully,it’s enough to break the quiet. “Didn’t know,” he quips sarcastically, bringing back some sense of normalcy to the moment. You both reach to take a cup, but you just hold yours as you watch him bring the glass to the plush of his lips. He takes a sip and his nose slightly wrinkles as he puts it back down on the coffee table. “Strong…,” he says, kissing his teeth. 

Weakly you chuckle, looking down at the deep brown of the tea which is too dark to be anything but over brewed. “I’m still getting used to making it.” 

Now he laughs, an odd forced sound that reminds you of the call when he arrived. The same one from right before he hung up. “So not fully settled then” he says, tone weighed down by something heavy. Some mix of frustration and worry you can’t pull apart.

You look back at him, but even he feels the weight of his words. He looks to the side, before you can even look him in the eye. You bring the glass in your hands up to your lips, trying to push it down with the tea, but it makes the feeling sting down your throat. 

When he finally looks back at you, he lets out a shaky exhale. His exhaustion is so glaringly obvious, you think the only way it could be more apparent is if he wrote “I’m tired” with a marker on his forehead. There is not a part of his body or any action not tinged with a weariness you knew was because of tennis. 

His lips part to say something, but without much thought you interrupt to ask, “How’s tennis?” 

“What?” he asks back, eyebrows furrowing as he sits up straighter. 

With more determination, you repeat, “How is tennis?”

He lets out that awful laugh again. “You’re asking me how’s tennis?” mockingly shooting the question back at you, voice tinged with an incipient anger. 

“It’s just a question,” you sigh, shaking your head. Placing the tea down in front of you, you momentarily look at the pomegranate on the table before turning back to him.  

Patrick huffs, looking at you with an unreadable expression. His eyes pierce into yours before they go downcast. “I know,” he concedes in a murmur, still not making eye contact. 

He says nothing more as you still wait for some answer to your question. It’s almost as if the half silence has returned, but this time you can hear the faint sound of his breathing. You open your mouth to ask once more, but he speaks before you can. 

“What do you do here?” he asks, eyes suddenly looking right at you again. 

It takes a moment to even process the question, and in the confusion, you only repeat, “What do I do here?” 

“Do you have friends? Or are you writing something? Painting? Music? What?” he spits out quickly, volume increasing with each word. 

“Patrick–”

“I mean what do you tell people when you move to a new place? You have to say something when they ask!” 

“What?” 

“What do you do!” 

His voice is sharp, with a contorted sense of urgency that causes your heart to speed up. He’s out of breath, just looking at you with furrowed brows. A knot in your chest, as you watch his own heave up and down. 

Then, unexpectedly he asks, “Are you happy?” 

“Happy?” you repeat, more to yourself than him. 

“Like here, are you happy?” He leans across the coffee table closer to where you sit. You hear your heartbeat in your ear and the knot in your chest hardens to exasperation. 

“You’re asking me if I am happy?” you snap, your own frustration seeping into your voice. “You randomly show up and now you sit here asking me if I’m happy?”

He doesn’t wait a moment, moving in even closer. “Well are you!” 

“Yes!” you scoff. 

“You’re happy?” he repeats with the awful laugh, the question now rhetorical and cruel. “You’re happy moving from place to place. Just wasting away the trust fund throughout Europe?” making a sharp hand motion alongside his words. 

“Jesus,” you mumble, looking away. 

“What?” he questions, sounding offended at your dismissal. “You used to make things, be…be passionate…” he pants, clearly out of breath. “And now…you just keep moving from one place to another and for what?” 

“You don’t get to judge me!” you shout back, head snapping in his direction. “You’re the one wasting away because you can’t even hit a ball right”

He says nothing, staring at you. Breath ragged as he takes in your words, face twisting from anger to hurt. The reality of what you said sinks in, clarity coming too late. Your lips part in apology, but he just forces out that laughs again. 

“Okay,” he says, pushing away from the table with a force that knocks the pomegranates to the floor. You watch the fruit roll away as he walks out of the apartment. 

He dangles the cigarette between his lips as he searches himself for a lighter. To no use, of course. It takes him a moment to remember he couldn’t bring one on the flight, and that he’d probably have to go back up to the apartment to borrow one from you. He huffs, just keeping the cigarette between his lips. 

The night wind hits him gently. He wants to take a walk, but his legs feel rooted to the ground. Leaning against the building wall, he looks up, trying to see if he could see your apartment from here.

Patrick remembers you called to tell him about the move. You were still in Berlin then,  and he was at some tournament in the Midwest. An irrelevant challenger he only made a hundred from. He tries to remember exactly how you told him, but your words are hazy. Now some deformed product of his own mind, born in some desperate need for clarity. 

Instead, what he does remember is the musky smell of motel sheets he laid on, spent from the game, and confused by the news.

 “Istanbul? Like Turkey.”

“No, like Italy,” you laughed, before pausing with a slow exhale. Then softer, you said,  “Of course Turkey.” 

He remembers laughing at the joke, before his chest constricted at your tired breath. “I thought you were enjoying Berlin” 

You didn’t respond at first, but he remembers your soft breaths into the phone. Measured and deep, to a rhythm he memorized when you both were sixteen. “It was just… time for a change.”

“A change?” 

“Yes,” you whispered. “A change”

He accidentally bites down on the tip of the cigarette between his lips. The bitter pungent taste overtakes his mouth, but he still doesn’t move the cigarette. 

You don’t move for the next couple of minutes, just staring at the pomegranates as they come to a stop. They rolled alongside each other, before getting too close, and pushing off the other in opposite directions. One to the left and one to the right, now both standing still on each side of the room. Slowly, you push yourself to stand and move towards them.  

You bend down, reaching to pick up the first pomegranate, now slightly dented from the fall to the floor. Your hand runs over the soft dimple, taking in the purplish tint of the area. A growing bruise that would only darken with time. Your legs guide you to the other pomegranate across the room and as you hand wraps around it, you feel another dent. Just as deep and big, it feels identical to the first. You run a finger against the concave curve trying to find some difference, but both dip in the same formation. Holding one in each hand, you straighten each arm to properly look at the subtle marks. Barely visible against the deep red of the skin, but there nonetheless. 

You walk to the kitchen, placing the fruit on the counter. Stacked in a way so the bruises rest against each other. You hold them like that, before slowly stepping back and just looking at the two fruits. The dents press into the other with ease, each fruit supporting the other, and it dawns on you it’s probably from when they hit each other rolling, not from the fall itself.

You leave them like that before going to your room.

He’s not sure how long he was outside, but by the time he forces himself back into the building, he is relieved you didn’t lock your apartment door. Quietly, he rotates the knob and pushes it open, to be greeted with nearly the same sight he left. The lights are on, and the two cups of tea rest on the coffee table, but you’re nowhere in the room. Neither are the pomegranates. He walks around trying to find wherever you moved them, before finally stopping in the kitchen. Both on the counter top, one leaning against the other. With a deep exhale, he moves in front of them. He picks up one in each hand, both feeling heavier than before. 

Knives, he thinks. He needs a knife. 

He puts the pomegranates down and looks around again, trying to find something to cut the fruit with. When he finds the thin knife block, he pulls out the first one he can reach. He turns back to the fruit, gripping the blade in his left hand and moving his right one to hold the pomegranate steady. He takes a deep breath as he tightens his grasp on the fruit. 

There are gentle thuds from outside your room. You didn’t hear the front door open or close, but you know it’s Patrick from the sound alone. It’s the thud of his steps, steady and gentle, becoming softer as he walks farther away from you. 

You close your eyes as you lean against the bedroom door, not ready to go back out, as you try to follow the sound. In the distance you can still hear him walking. Shorter steps, but still steady and gentle.

The pomegranate has a soft waxy sensation, slightly slippery. His hand squeezes again around the rough surface, pressing the fruit to the counter. He moves the knife to the dense exterior, trying to push its way down the middle, but it remains stuck in the width of the peel. He tries pushing it again to no use. With a huff he pulls it out all together, trying to steady himself before thrusting it into the pomegranate again, getting deeper but still barely into the flesh.

The sound of the steps are replaced a more aggressive thud in the distance that keeps repeating. For a moment it sounds like he’s punching the wall or something like that, not enough to make a hole but enough to create a vibration that lingers. You step away from the door, and still hear the harsh thumps. Your heart picks up beat to the disjointed rhythm of the noise, as you finally open the door. 

What are you doing?” he hears, looking up to see you now walking towards the kitchen. 

Aligning the knife with the valley of the first cut, he harshly retorts, “What does it look like I’m doing?” He lifts it up and hacks into the fruit with a force unstable enough that it shifts in his hand.

You step closer to him, opening your mouth to say something to no words. Each movement of his arm is ragged and sharp, no fluidity as he pushes the blade into the fruit. His grip on the fruit jolts which each cut, getting closer to the blade each time.

The subtle grooves of the fruit press into his callouses. You're standing close, he can tell, but his eyes remain on the pomegranate. It's almost fully split. He holds it tighter, as he brings the knife down again. 

He’s not lucky this time. 

You hear him before you see the blood. The guttural groan of pain, accompanied by the clang of the knife falling to the floor. 

The fruit, now cut down the middle, leaks red all over the countertop, merging with the stream of blood from his hand. The same deep shade, indistinguishable from the other.

His eyes close in pain, hearing your frantic steps in every direction. The sound drowns out as he draws in a breath and is met with the smell of tart and metal. A bitter sweetness that overcomes him, only to be pushed away with the sharp ache of the wound. It shoots up his arm to his head, which now throbs to the rhythm of his former cuts to the pomegranate. He leans against the counter with short, panting breaths.  

Suddenly, he feels you take the injured hand. The touch sends a wave of relief up his arm now, followed by a guilt that constricts his chest. You press a soft cloth to the wound. “It’s okay,” you whisper. “Stay still,” repeating the words in a hushed succession. You hold it tight to his skin, burning in an oddly comfortable way. 

Slowly he opens his eyes and looks at you hunched over the cut. He can feel the depths of your breath brush against his hand with each exhale. He turns to the counter, pomegranate finally cut open, laying in a pool of red. The other one has someone rolled closer to it, both resting in the combination of juice and blood.

“You’re fine," you repeat once more. His eyes turn back to you, still hunched by his hand. The white cloth you hold is stained red, and the guilt grows tenfold. 

He rasps, “I’m sorry.” 

You say nothing, too focused on the cut, so he repeats louder, “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” you say, not looking up at him. 

He lets out a tired exhale, as he says your name. Quiet and firm, wanting you to meet his eyes. When you do, he repeats, “I’m sorry.” 

Eyes wide, you stare at him for a moment. He watches the familiar knot of worry between your brows slowly come undone, as he feels your grip on the cloth relax. You nod softly with your own exhausted exhale, “I know.”

“I am too,” you add in a quiet whisper. “I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah” 

author’s note: hi!! it's been some time since i've written a longer piece, and this idea has been lingering in my head in November. a combination of an old poem i wrote and a specific scene which came to me during a fever dream when i had the flu, so silver lining of that experience i guess. been feeling very unsure about my writing, but i needed to get the idea on paper. special shoutout for @cha11engers to beta reading certain scenes and motivating me to not let this rot in my drafts!!! thank you all for reading and please please please tell me all your thoughts <3 i love you guys!!!

[burirammin]

Watched sepang 2011 moto2 fp1 followed by qualification and now I am absolutely devastated. screaming crying throwing up etc. etc. (the following write-up aka. me ever so slightly losing my mind over how Marc Marquez's 2011 season ends)

That weekend was so cursed it's unbelievable. Not even two minutes into the fp1 session the camera cut to the turn 10 gravel trap and then there was two riders occupying the place. The first one was Jules Cluzel, who was thankfully already up and was not hurt. Marc was the second one and oh boy, was he NOT fine. He laid there on his back for what felt like minutes, camera focusing on him almost THE WHOLE TIME. I. am. sick. to my stomach!!!

Not a moment later another bike (or two actually, but one of them was off camera) came crashing in, Marc was still on the ground, just out of the hit range. It was Yonny Hernandez (who looks to be fine. he raced the next day but was black-flagged) and Bradley Smith, who ended up with a broken collarbone + bruised ribs and was forced to be out of the race altogether. His injuries were caused by him getting thrown directly into Marc's bike. How unlucky was that??? The cause of all these crashes? A WET. FUCKING. PATCH. I reeallly meant it when I say that weekend was fucking cursed (and on sunday. we all know what happened on sunday...)

I was already regretting my choice to watch it at this point but just like watching a trainwreck, I couldn't stop.

And then I saw the team's reaction (full on regret. hits like a brick)

The icing on the cake? the whole session did not have any commentary. Just pure ambient noises, bike engines, staff radios, people rushing around the track. The whole scene was so eerie, I could not imagine watching this live.

The way they were running out from the pit, almost entirely abandoning it to (presumably) check on Marc at the medical center? gut punched.

The famous shot of Marc after medical check-up. Already a pro at slutty suffering at the tender age of eighteen. (I was about to throw up, so thank you I guess? how he was just out there, looking beautiful in this state was beyond my comprehension)

Marc missed all the sessions following fp1 (3 in total) but he did joined in for qualification session the next day. There was commentating for this and they mentioned that he was still a little dizzy this morning, his neck and left shoulder was not doing great either. Of course Marc being Marc he still wants to at least try to qualify and maybe, race. For context, he was just 3 points off the lead and not participating in this race means he will lose the championship, which in the end, he did.

It didn't last long. Marc was back in the box after just one qualifying lap.

Back in the box, Santi and Emilio was immediately all over him. The commentators DID pick up that there was something seriously wrong as normally only Santi (crew chief) would be present to talk about technical stuff that needs to be done and such, and not Emilio (manager). They discussed, things did not look good. With the gift of hindsight we can see that Marc was clearly informing them about his eye problem (which we know was diplopia later on) not to mention his other injuries to neck and left shoulder that was probably bothering him.

He has to leave the box shortly after. The commentators said they were hoping that he will be feeling better in the morning of race day, and also that Marc losing the championship was “inconceivable” before the fp1 crash*. There’s no such luck, unfortunately.

*mind you, he already have another big (very reckless and very much his own fault) crash from prior week with Ratthapark Wilairot in phillip island resulting in his blackeye but that was not enough to hindered his performance.

Marc watching the sunday race from the sidelines, no longer able to participate in this and following race.

And just to add even more (like anyone needed it, jesus christ) to the cursed factor of this weekend, Axel Pons suffered a massive crash during the race, resulting in a red flag. He also, was not fit for the next race.

God. That's it. That's the end of his 2011 season. From a crash that was in no way, shape or form, his fault. The circuit was later fined for not displaying yellow flag to warn riders of a wet patch on the track.

He could've won. HE COULD HAVE WON. HE COULD HAVE BEEN A MOTO2 WORLD CHAMPION IN HIS ROOKIE YEAR!!!!! I must repeat that at the time he was 3 POINTS AWAY FROM THE LEAD and has more or less been DOMINATING the whole season. He was on the podium for every races that he has finished and was on a streak. I am convinced he could have easily done it if not for the unfortunate accident.

But all he got out of it was second place in the championship (which we all know he won't accept in his mind. at least back then) and a diplopia problem that would still haunts him more than ten years later...

[chil-aglia]

𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐎𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 |ROTTMNT| (Male OC)

A Step Closer

Be sure to read the tags on my Ao3 so you guys know what you’re getting yourselves into.

Art is done by me, PLEASE feel free to make your own art and idk tag me in it or something—

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The mask never came off. It practically stuck to Giovanni’s face ever since he got it. But no one told him to remove it, they understood that this mask was special to him, a real gift he ever received in years.

Giovanni was adjusting to the family life, it wasn’t perfect, but he became less jumpy around his brothers and father, still on edge and he frequently has nightmares, but he made the effort of slowly coming out of his shell.

Still, he felt odd. It was like this was all still a dream to him. He can still feel the slimy and squishy tentacles of the Krang crawling along his body, choking him, suffocating his windpipe. He sometimes just shivered and felt sick whenever he just recalled them. But he didn’t want to burden or worry anyone, so he kept these feelings to himself.

He knew it was unhealthy to do that, but he didn’t want to risk ruining everyone’s mood just because of him. 

Giovanni was currently sitting in Splinter’s chair, cross legged as he watched his brothers act out scenes from the movie they were watching. They started introducing him to Lou Jitsu movies, A.K.A. Splinter’s old movie star life before he was mutated into a rat.

Giovanni didn’t understand any of it. But he kept patient and watched on. He supposed this was normal for his younger brothers to act out these scenes, Mikey told him that they have seen all the movies countless times that it was embedded into their brains, they knew all the lines and all the action.

Giovanni was impressed.

”Hot soup!”

Giovanni flinched when Raphael suddenly threw Leo and Donnie behind him, the twins crashing on the floor and landing in front of Giovanni who panicked that they were hurt as he looks down at him, arm stretched out hesitantly as though he was scared to touch them.

But he blinks when they laughed and sat up, cheering and clapping for Raph praising him on the performance. 

Giovanni sighs softly in relief as he got back to his original position. 

“Hey, you guys smell that?” Leo spoke up, sniffing the air, his brothers copying him. “Ugh, yeah…what is it?” Mikey made a slight disgusted face as he follows the stench. He walks towards Giovanni and blinks at him, Giovanni tilting his head in puzzlement.

”Whew! It’s Gio!”

What’s me?

Leo slides in and gave a brief whiff as he pokes his tongue out in disgust. “Eugh, yeah…guess you haven’t had a bath for some time. But it’s time for you to get clean.”

A what?

Noticing the confused expression, Leo widens his eyes before turning to the others. “Uh, oh. He doesn’t know what a bath is. Someone gotta bathe him.” He explains as Mikey immediately shakes Donatello’s shoulders.

”I volunteer Donnie!”

”Wait, what?!”

Leo grins and slings an arm around his twin, “Thank you for volunteering bro. Go have fun!” 

He shoves Donnie gently over to Giovanni who stared at him as Donnie gags a bit at the smell. “Why do I have to be the one to give him a bath?” He groans over to the boys who laugh sheepishly at him. 

What’s a bath?

Giovanni perks up, a little curious about this ‘bath’ they kept speaking of. Was it good? Safe? Something for him to eat? 

“It’ll be fine. Besides out of everyone here, you seem to interact with Gio the least! This is good for you two to be more aquatinted!” Raph smiles in assurance as Donnie glares before sighing and shaking his head.

There was no way out of this was there? 

“Very well. I’ll have Giovanni here come out squeaky clean!”

Donnie wasted no time and grabs the oldest brother and drags him away to the bathroom. Giovanni lets Donnie take him away, but he couldn’t help but gulp. He was nervous being left alone with the soft shell.

He enters the bathroom that he’s only been in probably once. And that was just by accident when he was looking for one of the rooms of his brothers to return something they left behind in the living room.

Donnie closes the door, making Giovanni flinch and turn around. “All right, now, do you know anything about bathing?” Donnie asks in a more begging tone, but to his disappointment, Giovanni just shook his head.

”Sigh….all right. Guess I have to do everything.”

He huffs and walks over to the bathtub, turning the tap on as water pours out. Giovanni leans over Donnie slightly to get a better look, however since he now closer, Donnie had to resist the urge to gag.

”Boy, you really do smell.”

”I smell?” Giovanni mumbles in confusion as he steps back and sniffed his arm, but he didn’t smell anything out of ordinary. “You probably don’t smell it because you’re already used to your own scent. But trust me, you need a bath.”

Donnie looks to the tub and turns it off once the water was at a reasonable level. “Okay, get in.” He gestured as Giovanni remained where he was, feeling anxious of getting in. Donnie blinks at him, “Well? Chop, chop. The water will get cold.” He encourages but Giovanni just shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

Donnie hums in thought, he was hoping this was going to be easy but of course he should’ve expected that Giovanni would be uncomfortable with getting into something that he had no idea about.

”Look, it’s safe. It’s just water.”

Donnie placed his hand in the tub, splashing the water lightly. “It won’t hurt you. Promise.”

Donnie was just winging this, feelings and making others comfortable was suited for Mikey. But since his brothers oh so kindly gave him the task of bathing his oldest brother, he didn’t know what else he could do.

Relying on visuals to help Giovanni become more comfortable with the idea of getting into the tub. He was surprised that it seemed to work as Giovanni walks over and hesitantly dipped his finger into the water.

Giovanni relaxed at the feeling before he raised his feet up and hopped over the tub lightly, placing both feet into the water. “Yessssuh!” Donnie grins, a step forward in the right direction.

”Okay, now sit down in the water.” He instructs, to which Giovanni listens as he squatted down before sitting in the water. He shivered at the weird feeling of being almost submerged.

Donnie gazed at the grey mask around Giovanni’s face, “We should take this off, so it doesn’t get wet.” Donnie points out, tapping lightly at the mask as Giovanni points but nods.

”All right…but I’ll get it back?”

”Course you will.”

Giovanni unties his mask and handed it to Donnie who placed it on the sink counter. “Well, guess we should start scrubbing.” 

He grabs a loafer and soap, turning in the direction of Giovanni who looks between the items in curiosity and nerves.

-----

Giovanni discovered a new kind of love. He loves baths. Loves being in water. 

Donnie had been the one to witness all the chaos that Giovanni brought when it came to being bathed. At first, he shivered and almost avoided being scrubbed, but then when Donnie eventually managed to touch him and start slowly, he saw the changes in his brother in an instant.

Giovanni was purring at the sensation. It was like his body went on autopilot, he began slowly sinking into the water before he completely submerged, blinking and looking up. 

Donnie had deadpan, watching his brother not coming up. And since he was a turtle, he knew that Giovanni could hold his breath for a while. Donnie had to drag him back up to the surface since he didn’t want to stay in the bathroom any longer than he already has.

But of course, with Giovanni’s new-found love for water, it wasn’t easy. Whenever Donnie turned away for a second, he would hear the rippling of the water in the tub, looking back to see Giovanni being completely under water.

But none the less, Donatello managed to clean his brother, draining the tub and drying him off with a towel. He gave back the mask to let him tie it on himself before opening the bathroom door and announcing out loud.

”I’ve done it! Behold, a clean Giovanni!”

-----

Mikey received a phone call from April, he was in his room painting away until he saw his phone lighting up with a picture of April’s smiling face coming up.

���Chello!”

April chuckled on the other end when Mikey picked up, “Hey Mikes. How’s it going? Haven’t heard from you in a while.” She greeted, as Mikey smiles happily. “Sorry about that. It’s been quite busy here. We’re all helping our brother out and—“

”Whoa, whoa. Back up. Brother? Who?”

Mikey widens his eyes in realisation. They forgot to tell her about Giovanni. “Ohmigosh! We’ve been so caught up; we forgot to tell you about him! Okay, so, you remember that mutant turtle we brought back to lair to get him treated?”

”Uh, yeah. You guys never told me what happened to that guy.”

Mikey beams as he stands up, pacing around excitedly. “Well! Long story short but he’s actually our older brother. He was, uh…trapped in the prison dimension for years, until we brought him back.” He explains the short version, but he grew weary at the silence from April.

”Uh…Apri—“

”You have another brother, and you didn’t think to tell me?!”

Oh, she was mad.

Mikey chuckles sheepishly, “Yeah…sorry about that. But hey! Maybe you can come and meet him?”

“Meet him? Uh…I don’t know, he might not like me.”

Mikey blinks but shakes his head, “Nonsense! Everyone likes you. In fact, bring Casey with you too. That way you two can meet him. His name is Giovanni by the way.”

”Giovanni. Your pops sure likes those renaissance names. Look, I’d love to meet him but…I don’t know.”

”Want me to ask him? He’s in the living room.”

”What? Uh…yeah okay.”

Mikey nods, even though she couldn’t see it, as he skips out his room and runs to the main living room, noticing Leo and Donnie fighting over the remote while Raph and Giovanni watched the twins. Raph was already used to their antics, so he just looked bored, whereas Giovanni was sweating anxiously. 

“Hey guys! April’s on the phone!” Mikey announces, as Raphael turns to greet his little brother, “Tell her I said hi!”

Mikey smiles and looks to Giovanni, “Hey, Gio.” He calls out, immediately Giovanni looks over to him upon hearing his name, “I was wondering, how would you feel about meeting our friends, April and Casey?”

All the brothers froze and glance over for Giovanni’s reaction. “Meet…who?” He questions softly, he tried to remember if he knew these guys, but their names weren’t familiar to him. “Ah, you only met them once. But you were unconscious, so does that technically count? Anyway, they’re cool people, but if you’re not up to meeting them, that’s fine too.” Mikey assures with a gentle smile.

People? Ah…he means humans right?

Giovanni hums in thought, before he gave a slow nod. “Okay. I would like to meet them.” He agrees, which shocked the others, but Mikey was excited none the less, placing his phone back to his ear.

”He said he can’t wait to meet you two! When do you think you and Casey can come?”

“Well, Casey still has homework catching up with. And I gotta study for a bit…but maybe we can come over later tonight?”

”Sounds good! I’ll let the guys know. See you then!”

Mikey bids his goodbyes and grins at his brothers, “They’ll come by later tonight. That all right with everyone?” He asks to which they nod, until Leo hesitantly spoke up, his eyes trained on Giovanni.

”You sure you’re up to meeting new people? Heads up, they’re human so…”

Giovanni tilts his head at him in confusion, “Should I…be worried?” He asks out of curiosity, as Raph shakes his head and sweats a little awkwardly. “No! No, not at all. It’s just…well, we don’t want them to accidentally trigger you. You said that humans before in the past captured you…?”

Giovanni glanced down, nodding to Raph’s words. “That was the past though. I barely remember those people. Besides…you guys have friends that are human. Me, meeting them was bound to happen at some point.”

He gave his brothers the best reassuring look he could muster, “I’ll be okay….”

-----

Stop shaking, stop shaking, stop shaking!

Giovanni tried to not show it, but he was shaking like a leaf. He had assured his younger siblings that he was fine when meeting their human friends, but now that it was actually happening, he couldn’t help but be smothered in anxiety.

He was waiting in the kitchen area; Mikey having been the one to go greet Casey and April and bring them over. The others remained with Giovanni, all noticing the nerves radiating off him, but they didn’t want to startle him out of the blue. Giovanni perks up when the sounds of multiple footsteps got closer, ahead of him entered Mikey with two humans by his side.

”And voila! Gio, come meet April and Casey!” Mikey waved him over, his older brother showing hesitation but complied and walks over. The humans blink at him, surprised to see Giovanni walking over as the last time they saw the mutant he was unconscious and injured.

”Whoa! Hey, how are ya? I’m April O’Neil! I’ve been a friend of your brothers for years.” The female human smiles warmly, extending a hand out to shake, but Giovanni just eyed the hand and gave her a slow nod in greeting.

The younger human, a male, clears his throat as he awkwardly waved. “Hi, I’m Casey Jones. Um…I haven’t been around here long, but uh…I know your brothers too.”

Mikey slung an arm around Giovanni, “Casey’s from the future. So, he kind of knows us for a while too. Uh, with our future selves at least. Time travel is kind of weird to explain.” Mikey rubs his head as Giovanni was more focused on the fact that Casey was from a different time.

”Future? Time travel is a thing here…?”

Casey blinks, “Uh, well, I was sent here by Master Michelangelo. The one from my time, to help stop the Krang invasion.”

Upon the mention of Krang, Giovanni tensed, eye going wide and body being stiff. It was quite noticeable as Casey quickly apologised. “Sorry! Uh, I wasn’t thinking.” He rubs the back of his neck, wanting to smash his face into a wall.

“Hey, Gio? You okay bro?” Leo softly spoke, walking over to him as Giovanni snapped out of the daze and nods. “I’m fine. I’m okay…sorry, haven’t heard that name in a while, so…”

He clears his throat and face a tiny assuring look. “I’m all right.”

Donnie waits for some time to pass before he couldn’t help but comment about something. “Say, Casey, since you’re from the future, how come you’ve never told us about Gio?” He questions, eyes narrowing in thought as Casey straightens up slightly.

”Right, um…well it’s because I wasn’t sure if you guys have already met him or not.”

”Even if we did, you didn’t mention him once.”

Giovanni tilts his head curiously at the conversation as Casey frowns a bit. “Well, to be honest with you all…I actually never met Giovanni in my time.” He informs, the silence growing as well as the tension.

”But…you knew us?” Raph stated, puzzled by this, but Casey nods in understanding. “You see, in my time, Giovanni wasn’t around. But I had no idea if he was alive or not. No one told me. Whenever he was brought up, my master's would have this sullen look and didn’t speak about him.” Casey starts off, looking between the brothers for their reactions.

”There were a few pictures of Giovanni around, but they were old ones. I think he vanished when he was maybe in his mid 20s or early 30s? And whenever anyone did talk about him, they only told me stories of his deeds and their memories of him. Apparently, I only knew Giovanni when I was still a baby, but since I was, well, a baby, I don’t remember him much.”

He frowns softly and turns to Giovanni who was taking in the information. “I’m sorry…I wish I knew about your future self, but I don’t. I like to think that future you is still out there somewhere, but realistically…” He pauses but he didn’t need to say anything else as Giovanni inhales some air.

”It’s okay…um, if anything I’m sorry.”

”Huh? Gio, why are you sorry?” Mikey looked at his older brother with confusion on his face as Giovanni continued to hold Casey’s gaze. “I’m sorry that you didn’t get a chance to get to know me. And uh, I’m sorry if future me disappeared or something.” He says softly with a sad look, which Casey immediately saw and shook his head in slight panic.

”I’m not mad or anything! Sure, I would have loved to see you more in my time, but it’s fine!”

He breathes in to calm down as he offered an assuring smile, “I could…tell you stories about him if you’re interested?”

”I…I’d like that. But maybe another time though.”

”Sure. Whenever you want.”

-----

It had been a few days since Giovanni met April and Casey. He had surprisingly warmed up to the humans rather quickly. His brothers all saw April as an older sister or something and saw Casey as part of the family.

Therefore, Giovanni was rather comfortable with them as well. He might’ve not seen them as siblings, but he knew that they had a special place in the family.

Giovanni walks along the hallway of the lair; he paused when he his brothers all heading to the exit of the lair and heading to the sewer tunnels. “Where are you all going?” He innocently questioned, taking a few steps forward as Raph turns to him with both an awkward look and assuring one.

”Patrolling time. It’s been pretty quiet topside ever since the…well, that.”

Ever since the Krang came here.

”But, we figured we check out everything to make it’s all good. Don’t worry, we won’t be gone too long.”

Leo cuts in and gave a thumbs up. “We have it all under control bro! It’ll hopefully be a quick surveillance around New York, and we’ll be back home.” He assured as Giovanni slowly nods, watching them bid their farewells and headed off inside the sewer tunnels.

He heads back inside the safety of the lair and raised his head to stare at the ceiling. His expression distant and deep in thought.

Topside…he actually hasn’t left the lair since he first arrived. But now that he thought about it more, the more he was curious about what the outside world was like. He felt…a little lonely being in the lair while his brothers ventured outside without him.

”Something wrong?”

Splinter walks towards him, noticing how Giovanni was standing there looking at the ceiling. “Yeah, um…well, when can I go to the surface?” He asks, which briefly startled Splinter who blinks owlishly at him. “Ah…curious, are you? Well, that’s to be expected, it was a matter of time before you wanted to explore more of the world.” He smiles at Giovanni who nervously fiddled with his fingers and shifted his feet on the spot.

”The outside world is both a beautiful place and also a dangerous one. Especially for your brothers and yourself.”

Dangerous…?

He gulps, feeling a little unsettled. “I know that sounds scary, and it is…your brothers have made quite a few enemies, and they often get into troublesome situations. If you were ever to go topside, you’ll know doubt find yourself in situations that may require you to fight.” Splinter explains truthfully, as he noticed how on edge Giovanni grew upon listening to him.

He knew that this was probably going to put off going topside for Giovanni, but he had to tell him. For his own safety.

”Actually…do you know how fight?” Splinter changes the topic, as Giovanni stared at him in thought. “I…remember being trained by the humans in lab coats, but I hardly ever used that training when I was sent to the prison dimension.” He explains shortly, scratching the back of his neck as Splinter hums in understanding.

”Come with me.”

The rat walks off as Giovanni follows. Not knowing where he was being led to until he saw the familiar room of the dojo. To be perfectly honest, he’s probably only been in here once, and that was because he heard noises coming from inside, only to find his brothers training whenever they had time.

He was puzzled, why he was brought here, focusing his attention back to his father who walks to the centre of the dojo and looks back to face his son.

”I want you to spar with me.”

Spar….?

Giovanni had to think about it for a moment until he realised what he meant. “Fight…? I-I can’t fight you!” He shakes his head, instinctively stepping back to gain distance.

”You can’t? Or you won’t?”

”Both! I…I don’t think I have the heart to attack you.”

Splinter softly pouts at his son, he could tell that Giovanni didn’t like the idea of bringing harm to him, but Splinter needed to see where Giovanni's abilities were at in a fight.

”I’m sorry…but sparring with you will help me determine where you are at. So, I may help you.”

Help me…?

He bites his lip, looking to the side as he rubs his palm against his arm. He can’t fight his father…he hasn’t fought properly in a long time. He barely fought the Krang, he would just get lucky and escape or they let him go.

He remembered using Leo’s sword to block an attack from Prime, but that was about it. 

“I don’t know what to do…” He whispers, his voice soft and small as Splinter’s ears flatten in sympathy. “I know it’s…strange. To hear me request that you fight me. I just want to see what you’re capable of so that I know where you need more training in. If you want…we stop at any time. Just say so.”

That seemed to ease Giovanni’s mind. He just needed to say stop and Splinter will pause and not fight him. He could…he could work with that.

”Okay…if you promise that we won’t spar anymore when I say stop.”

”Promise.”

Giovanni looked over his father’s face, looking for any sort of lie on him. But he saw none and he relaxed his muscles. He walks over to the centre, standing in front of him as he awkwardly got into a defensive stance. Splinter watches until he was ready.

Giovanni gave a nod, silently telling him he was ready.

Splinter charged at him. He was swift for an old rat guy. It shocked Giovanni who barely had time to react as he held his arms up in an ‘X’ stance above his face as he blocked the kicks.

”You just fight back my son! Defence will not always be with you!”

But it’s safer.

Another hit, from Splinter’s tail. Giovanni winced, biting the inside his cheek as he kept his position.

”Attack my son. You will not hurt me. I promise.”

Attack…

He froze when a recalled something…a memory.

-----

Giovanni’s past self gasps in horror and pain when Sister Krang threw him to the side harshly. “What a pathetic sight. Why aren’t you fighting back Vermin?”

It hurts…

Sister Krang jumps up and landed on Giovanni who wheezed and let out a yelp as he felt his lungs being crushed slowly at the pressure. “You’re boring me. Fight back Vermin, show me the desperation of living in your eyes…attack me.”

Attack. Attack her. Attack to live. 

Attack..

Attack.

Attack—

-----

Giovanni was brought back to reality as he looks up, face sweating as he sees Splinter jumping up in the air, but in Giovanni’s eyes, he saw Sister Krang being the one to jump towards him instead. Thrusting out one of her tentacles at him. 

It was Splinter’s tail that thrusted at him. Whatever the case of who it was, Giovanni reacted none the less. He dodged, jumping back as he managed to grip the tail, it surprised Splinter who didn’t have time to register what was happening as Giovanni pulls Splinter towards him. 

When he was close, Giovanni lets the tail go and round house kicked Splinter, knocking him to the side as the rat skids along the ground, groaning lightly and looking up in shock. Giovanni pants as he eyed his father. 

He runs towards his opponent, Splinter quickly got back up and dodged the incoming kicks and punches. But he wasn’t expecting Giovanni to be so fast, one moment he was in front of Splinter, then in a blink of an eye he was behind him, punching his father in the back, which sent him flying to the wall.

Splinter shakes his head, keeping his eyes focused on his son who stares back.

He’s good…I’m honestly surprised that he was able to knock me down a few times.

Splinter runs forward, using Giovanni’s blind spots and kicking him in the side. The mutant turtle gasping and gripping his side, stumbling back.

But he still needs some help in a few areas.

The two continued to spar for some time, sweating and panting as Giovanni dodged and attacked. Splinter doing the same thing. Learning more about his son as they went.

Eventually it got to a point where they were both tired and Giovanni uttered out a small but loud enough ‘stop’ for Splinter. Who, as promised paused the fight and sat down to catch his breath. Giovanni crouched to the floor, panting as well as he stared down at his shadow. “My son…you fight well. A little rusty, yes. But you’ve surprised me today.” Splinter smiles exhaustedly as he stands up and walks over.

”I’ll have a think about what I can do for you. You rest and hydrate.”

Giovanni blinks up at him, nodding in agreement and understanding as he witnessed his father leave the dojo. When he was alone, Giovanni sat on the ground, legs crossed as he placed his hands over his head.

He didn’t want to say anything. But sometimes, during the spar, all he saw was the Krang attacking. 

He grips his head tightly, closing his eyes firmly as he felt his lips tremble. 

He was still traumatised by them. But Giovanni expected that to be the case, it wasn’t natural for someone to get over their trauma so quickly. That takes time.

But…the sparring did make him feel better in a way. That despite not fighting properly in years, he could still hold his own.

He was close…to going to the surface with his brothers.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Ayy, you get to see Giovanni in action. Kind of. He still hasn’t gotten his weapon yet, but that’ll come soon.

I APOLOGISE FOR ANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES THAT WERE MADE, I TYPE REALLY FAST AND OFTEN DON'T SEE THEM UNTIL I ACTUALLY PUBLISH THE CHAPTER. 

quotev - 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐎𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 |ROTTMNT| (Male OC)

Ao3 - 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐎𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 |ROTTMNT| (Male OC)

First chapter here

Next chapter here

[starsfic]

Which is your most hated character in Miraculous Ladybug?

Can I list three?

I'm sure you can guess why.

There was a lot of potential in this character! When I heard that she was gonna get a Miraculous, I was excited to see what would lead up to that! I was curious to see what the kick in the butt would be to get her on the path of redemption!

And I was sorely disappointed. Instead of getting better, she got worse and even more entitled, and it didn't help that she was enabled by Number Three...

...let me tell you something.

I was a Marichat shipper. I was. It was one of the first ships I published fanfic for. If you look on my Wattpad, you can find a lot of Marichat shit. I ate it up, and I was super excited when we learned that there would be a Balcony Scene. I got even more excited when I learned that the episode, Glaciator, came out on my birthday.

What did I get? I got disappointment and discomfort when Chat Noir threw a temper tantrum over Ladybug not showing up for a plan she didn't agree to. He used his friends, who expected him to be there, as an excuse to sneak out. He complains all the time about not having time for his friends, and then doesn't spend time with them.

Slowly, I started to notice more and more off-behavior from Adrien Agreste and slowly grew more and more angry with this show, from telling Marinette to stay quiet to publicly enjoying Ladybug being uncomfortable. He is the symbol of how out of touch the creator is with young girls. It got to the point where I announced that I was never writing fanfic again and was solely gonna focus on my original writing because I was so sick of writing salt and knew it was unhealthy.

I didn't keep that promise, but I still hate Adrien. I still hate Chat Noir. I haven't taken down my old Marichat fics because I feel like they're an important showcase of where I started from, but I can't bring myself to write anything involving Adrien in a romantic relationship with anyone.

[alotofpockets]

Familiar location | Leslie Shay

Pairing: Leslie Shay x Reader Summary: Where 51 gets called to a house fire and Shay recognizes the adres to be yours.

Masterlist | Chicago Fire masterlist | Words: 1.2k

It had been a quiet shift for 51, only a few small calls, so the team was enjoying themselves in the common room just chatting away. Shay was mid-conversation with Dawson when the alarm bells rang for a house fire, the moment the street name was called over the speakers Shay’s eyes widened, “That’s y/n’s place.” She runs to the car, full of worry. Dawson steps in front of her partner, “Let me drive.” Dawson knew that Shay’s feelings for you went deeper than just best friends, though the girl had yet to admit it. She didn’t want Shay to drive to this one.

On the drive Shay tries calling you several times, but she couldn’t get ahold of you. She was worried sick, unable to sit still. As soon as Dawson pulled over the car at the scene, Shay jumped out and ran towards your house, in a panicked manner. The moment she laid her eyes on you, she was finally able to breathe again. There you stood, unharmed, talking to the Chief. She ran the rest of the way towards you and hugged you tight. You hadn’t seen her coming as you had your back towards her, but you knew instantly whose arms were wrapped around you. Shay lets go to check you out, to make sure you actually weren’t injured. “Are you okay?” She says pulling you back into a hug. “Yes, I’m okay.” This time you were able to hug her back, you nestled your head into her shoulder, you were unharmed, but your house being on fire was still a lot to take in. 

“What happened?” Shay asks as you’ve calmed down a bit. “I don’t know, I heard an explosion and all of a sudden there were flames everywhere. I ran outside and my neighbors called 911 when they heard the explosion and came to check on me.” Boden speaks up, “When the fire is out, I’ll have Severide check to see if he can find out what happened. What’s important now, is that you made it out unharmed.” He pats your shoulder. 

Dawson had checked on your neighbors to see if any of them needed help, when everyone was good she came your way. Giving you a quick hug, “It’s so good to see that you’re okay.” The three of you watch the team fight the fire, Shay’s arm still wrapped around your shoulder, as you lean into her side. 

When the fire was dealt with, Severide and the rest of squad 3 went in to check out what started the fire. About 15 minutes later he comes out, “The fire started in the fuse box, my guess is either faulty wiring or outdated wiring. Your insurance should cover everything, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help with that.” You thank Severide, and accept his offer to help you with the insurance claim. 

Engine 51 is out next, and Herrmann walks up to you and Boden next, “We have to let everything settle for a bit, but in like 30 minutes we can go in and see what we can salvage for you.” You thank him as well and sit down on the ambulance steps along with Shay. “You can take all the stuff they can salvage to mine and Severides, stay with us until everything is sorted out.” She hands you a bottle of water, “Thanks Les.” 

You drive to the firehouse in the back of the ambulance, since their shift was nearing its end. A few of the team offered to join you, Shay and Severide, to see what they could salvage from your house. With a couple of boxes you head to your temporary home. 

“You can take my room, and I’ll sleep on the couch.” Severide offered. You shake your head, “That’s really sweet, but I can just take the couch, it’s fine.” Shay watched the conversation with a slight furrow in her brow. “If you want we can just share my room, no need for anyone to sleep on the couch when there’s a king sized bed in mine.” You agree to Shay’s offer and put your stuff down in her room.

At night the two of you lay down in the bed, Shay turns your way “Goodnight y/n.” shared with a peck on your lips. Her eyes widen when she realizes what she had just done. “I am so sorry, I don’t know why I did that.” She’s about to get up to sleep on the couch after all, too embarrassed to stay, and too afraid she’ll do it again if she doesn’t leave. Your shock wears off before she manages to get off of the bed, so you grab her arm and pull her back. Connection your lips again, she kisses you back instantly. Your lips dance together as if they had known each other for years, the kiss was soft, and sweet. It was something the both of you had been craving, it was perfect. 

After kissing her for a while longer, you let her know that you’re really tired from today. She pecks your cheek, “Okay, let’s get some rest then.” You fall into her arms, and she holds you close. Despite the events of today, you’re able to fall asleep fast, in the comforting hold of your best friend. 

When you wake up, the spot on the bed next to you that was once occupied by Shay, was now empty and cold to the touch. You throw on a hoodie from Shay and leave her bedroom, only to find her pacing around the kitchen island. “Hey, is everything okay?” She stops pacing and locks her eyes on yours, “We need to talk about what happened last night.” You nod in agreement, “Okay, do you want to start?” 

“I really enjoyed kissing you, but I’m scared that maybe you felt like you had to because I kissed you out of nowhere.” You’re quick to her side, placing your hands on her cheeks. “I can’t say that I wasn’t taken back by that initial kiss, but I am so glad that you kissed me, because I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long, Les.” Realization hits, you wanted her the same way as she wanted you. 

Her smile grows and she leans in, “So, I can kiss you again?” You nod and she presses her lips on yours only seconds later. You’re too focussed on Shay to hear Severide come walking in. “Well, good morning to you too, lovebirds. Glad you finally admitted your feelings for each other.” His comment earns him a warning glare from Shay, but he just shrugs it off. “So, y/n, I have a copy of the fire report for you. If you want we can contact the insurance company today to start the claim.” He continues like nothing happened. You ask if he can join you to go in the afternoon, which he agrees too.

Back in Shay’s room she asks, “If you don’t have any plans until the afternoon, do you maybe want to get some breakfast together?” You smile at the slight nervous look on her face, “Only if it’s a date.” With that comment her nerves fade quickly, “It’s a date.” And with that the first date of many to come was planned. 

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[animereviewsbykyranskye]

My current top 15 Anime and why

Because why the fuck not. I'm doing top 15 so that I have some variety behind it. Otherwise I would just be gushing non stop XD

Apparently numbers go big now - AND THEY GO SMALLER IF YOU TRY TO TYPE IN THE SAME LINE AS THEM???

comparison:

15

15 -

DA HECK????

(Edit: I was going to colour all the numbers because I wanted a rainbow. WHY THE FUCK FOR THEY CHANGE TO SMALL WHEN YOU COLOUR THEM??????)

Guess the titles of the anime get a small heading. Anyways. Onto the actual list!

15

Technoroid OVERMIND

Ayo. Starting out with a really random one. So if anyone were to look at my Anilist then they might be a bit confused. I decided I'd keep movies out of here as well as anything I haven't specifically finished. Also takt op. Destiny needs a re evaluation.

Anyways. This premise is so sick and I feel like they managed it really well. The characters were all really fun and the music was fantastic which is honestly the most important thing about Idol shows. I really like idol shows but often struggle with the stupid drama in them that just leads to seasons upon seasons that didn't need to happen or wouldn't actually happen.

In this they're just androids. The fantasy twist works so well for the genre and I honestly don't know why it isn't done more often. This way they can bullshit the drama and it actually makes sense.

Honestly my favourite character was Kite. He was great and his voice always gave me shivers. Especially his piece in the closing. Damn.

I don't want to go into full reviews with this, rather just gushing about things I like and stuff. I really don't think this got the recognition it deserves - probably because of it's deviation from the norm - but it would be cool to get some sort of sequel.

(Edit: There's a manga releasing apparently. Imma check that out.)

14

UniteUp!

Continuing on with the trend of idol animes apparently. UniteUp! was so good. As I mentioned in my Reviews while I watch of the show, it felt so grounded and real that other idol shows just don't seem to capture. These were all real people with real problems dealing with real life.

I also like how we had such a large cast of characters but it never really felt overwhelming as they focused on group dynamics and specific individuals rather than trying to cram every single person into their own arcs.

Once again the music was fantastic and by god was this show pretty gay. Honestly I don't know what the sentiments of others are, but the Anela duo definitely weren't straight and neither were Akira and Daiki. That bath scene says it all.

Anyways. If you want a fun time with a really solid idol anime, please check it out. I saw earlier that we're getting a season two soon. I am so looking forward to it.

13

Trigun Stampede

Damn! I don't even know what to really say about this one. The visuals are absolutely stunning - there is no doubt about that. The score and the characters are excellent. And how dare they leave us on that cliff hanger.

I have absolutely no history with this story and still need to watch and read the originally but I am really looking forward to seeing how the story adapts between the three.

You can ask my partner. I've already said we're watching everything trigun related as soon as we are done with our current show.

I'm really looking forward to season two. And especially seeing how this all pans out. Apparently there will be tears according to the fandom. Concern.

12

Re-main

Damn this show came out of nowhere for me. I watched it quite awhile ago and have been meaning to rewatch it again.

The premise is definitely a sports anime but honestly so different. All because of one thing. The fact that he is an amnesiac is such a fascinating concept to work with - especially with how he was before (trying not to spoil - can't remember when this comes up in the anime)

And then the ending?? Damn. They seriously set up that cliff hanger and I really hope this show gets a sequel.

I really can't say too much about it without giving away some spoilers but damn does it change up the formula and do it so fucking well.

11

Given

Given is great. Such a pure but heartbreaking portrayal of love on one side with such conflicting but also nurturing views on the other. Having the different realtionships throughout this is really well done how they all bounce off of each other. Especially when they entertwine it with the music.

As it is said. That is how they communicate - through the music.

I'm busy catching up with the manga and really hope the anime continues with it.

Also the fucking is just fucking gorgeous. It has no write to hit you that hard.

Also - something else that shouldn't be allowed to hit you that hard. Damn Mafuyu has had a difficult past. We love how he learns to heal and grow with Uenoyama at his side.

Anyways, moving on.

10

Bakuten!!

Okay. Who said a sports anime could be this pretty.

I love the art style and the music throughout all of this. I love the portayal and the evolution of these character - seriously all their arcs are great. The interactions of the team is so tangible and real.

I watch a lot of sports anime and I often struggle with some of the drama used within the sports - it feels like the only thing that ever fuels the story is the matches. Whereas in Bakuten - the character seriously fuel the story. You can understand their motivations much more than just - I want to play this sport and be the best!

I also feel like they really captured everything really well in the movie. The whole concept of wanting to sore is great and really well executed.

I also love the interactions they have with the other team. It's not just a once off competition or practice match that they face each other. We actually get tangible characters for the whole team and see how much they two teams are similar to one another. It's a very healthy rivalry that isn't normally this expanded on in sports anime.

9

Sasaki and Miyano

Yesssssss. These two are just absolutely amazing. Their whole story arc and relationship is just tooth rottingly sweet. They bounce off of each other so well.

And I love the fact of how slow the actual story is. They meet at the start of Miyanos first year (from what I know - I still need to read the novels) and sasaki's second and they only end up confessing just before graduation happens. It really plays out well and is so healthy.

There is no problematic elements like in so many BL stories which is such a breath of fresh air. And the fact that sasaki is very specific about making sure to maintain boundaries to ensure that miyano is comfortable is also excellent.

On a slightly different note - I still need to see the Hirano and Kagiura movie. Been dying to watch it. I've been keeping up to date with both manga and both of these stories are amazing. I love the dichotomy of the two stories and how they are coming to their own realisations of their feelings in honestly very different ways.

I also recently watched the dub of the anime due to some videos on tiktok. Fucking hell it is absolutely hilarious. Kellen Goff as Sasaki has no reason for being that good. Seriously. Damn.

8

Link Click

On a completely different note. Damn this one makes you questions your own morals and reality as you know it.

I really don't want to get into this one much as I do believe watching it blind is the best way to go.

The art style is fantastic and that opening hits like a truck it is so good. The characters just click (pun not intended) and you just understand their motivations and don't know which side to side with most of the time. It brings about such high moral dilemmas that will seriously mess with your brain sometimes and there is one episode that will likely make you cry.

Anyways. Season 2 has just started airing and I am so ready for it.

7

Buddy Daddies

Why did a show about two queer platonic dudes who adopt a child while beings assassins hit so damn hard.

The show jumps between episodes with backstory and episodes with them just being good dads and it is balanced so well. This anime won't end up getting a sequel most likely with how it ended but damn I wouldn't say no to one.

Rei is my favourite character and I relate to him far too much. His interactions with the world are so fascinating and his whole arc with Miri is honestly some of the best media I've seen.

I absolutely loved watching this show weekly and it always brightened up my day when I realised a new episode would be up.

If you would like further thoughts on this one then check the Reviews while I watch on it for more chaos.

6

No Game No Life

So. This was the first ever anime that I ever watched. It was a random recomendation from a friend. Look at where we are today.

This show is honestly just so fun. The characters are silly and the whole plot is just absolute chaos. I really enjoy the games aspect and how it was all incorporated into the world.

I can't even really say much about it. It is just a guilty pleasure of mine and will always hold a special place in my heart.

Also. Please can it just get a second season already.

5

Assassination Classroom

So. Unlike everything else on the list - this one I only finished really recently. My partner and I were watching it together. And to put it out there straight away. I cried. That ending was far too emotional.

I really enjoyed the humour throughout the whole thing as well as the constant underlying dread of the whole situation.

They also really played out Koro-senseis backstory really well. The teasing to it was excellent. I must say though that one of the twists seriously came out of left field. Like damn.

I've just recently bought the boxset and am reading through the manga. Once again. It's absolutely amazing.

Also the openings of them all jumping are absolutely fucking hilarious and you can't tell me otherwise.

If you want to know what officially sold me on the show was just in the first episode. (Note we watched in dub)

Don't ask me why but I found this to be the most hilarious thing ever. The absurdity and the line delivery was magnificent. I annoy my partner by quoting it atleast once a day.

4

Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan

Speaking of comedies. This show has no right to be this good. The absudist dead pan comedy in the middle of whats meant to be a TV show is such a random premise but just works so well.

Due to the nature of the show, the characters are extremely relateable. I especially love Kumatani and Kikaku.

If your on the same side of anime tiktok that I am then you have definitely seen/heard snippets of the dub.

I think this was the first anime that I originally watched in sub and then tried it in dub and actually enjoyed it. (I often find that whatever I originally watched it in is the only one I can watch it in - it's very difficult for me to change it)

The voice acting on both sides just works perfectly for the show. And that final episode and how they did it was the best thing ever.

Please just give it a try.

3

Angel Beats

Okay. Time for a hard hitter. This comedy like assassintaion classroom is fucking excellent but will make you cry, like damn.

In complete and utter contrast to No game no life, this was the second anime I had ever watched. I had found a video that gave some suggestions and thought I would give this one a try. When I say it destoryed me, I mean it literally. I constantly think about the end of this and I absolutely love revisiting it.

The twist and turns along the way are fascinating and I love how each one alters the characters and the narrative. Each of the characters feel unique - even the lesser developed side characters - with fascinating and complex backstories.

The whole thing just makes you question your own place in life.

2

Moriarty the Patriot

Another one I just randomly tried because I saw a video on tiktok. The first episode immediately pulled me in. I thought it was just going to be some simple detective story (At the time I didn't know much about Sherlock Holmes and who Moriaty was so I didn't have any of that to guide me into this story.) But nope.

I keep saying this but in this one I really mean it. The characters are built so well. The dichotomy between William and Sherlock - as the fandom would probably agree - is just amazing. How they bounce off of each other - i don't even know how to really descirbe it.

Honestly just go watch it.

And if you enjoyed the anime - please go check out the manga too. If the anime was done well - then the manga is done to lamost perfection.

This show was what got me into reading and then eventually buying manga. I now have every single one that is out.

1

Yuri!!! on ICE

Did I make the title gay? Yes.

Okayyyyy. This is just going to be me going on about how much I love this show. Bare with me.

So I was in an anime watching slump just before I picked up this show. I had been seeing some videos popping up talking about it and decided to give it a try (this was in 2020)

I immediately fell in love with this show. Literally everything about it. I ended up rewatching it three times over the course of a week. It got to a point where I was so upset that there wasn't more content for it that I just cried for half a day. (Ask my partner - it was chaos)

This show is the reason I now read fanfiction - all because I found a way to technically have more content for it.

This show holds such an important place in my heart that I sincerely cannot express it properly.

If you've never watched it - go give it a try. It would mean a lot - and hopefully one day we might get a season two.

----

Thanks for reading, if you managed to get to this point. I find it interesting how my explanations managed to slowly get shorter throughout the list as I just started becoming more emotional than factual.

I hope you enjoyed it and maybe grabbed a recommendation or two. If you'd like to know more or hear me ramble on more about anything in particular then please let me know.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: Atalia_Gold! @ataliagold has 77 fics on Ao3 in the Stranger Things fandom and all of them are in the Steddie tag.

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @ataliagold:

My, My, Those Eyes Like Fire

Keep My Hand In Yours

I Can Wait For You At The Bottom

Oh Darling, Please Be Mine

The Wreckage Of You I No Longer Reside In

"Atalia_Gold has written fics I just go back and read over and over again. I love the way they write the characters and all the very different universes and situations they end up in. One of my favorite authors of all time!" -- Anonymous

Below the cut, @ataliagold answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I love the pairing so much. Steve is my favourite character ever, I loved him since series 1, but I never had anyone to ship him with until series 4 as Harringrove just wasn’t for me, so when Eddie came along I just thought wow they’re so perfect together.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Hurt/comfort, sick/injured Steve and Eddie doing the comforting/caretaking is my absolute favourite, but there’s a lot of stuff I love to read.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Same as the above, I love Steve so much but I love to hurt him haha. (So long as there’s a happy ending!)

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

You’re Divine by Oonionchiver. I love so many of their fics, but this one consumed my soul and was a big contributor to me wanting to write my own fics. A close second would be Take the Money and Run by thisapplepielife - so damn good.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I have a modern AU idea, and I have done one modern AU before but this one will be quite different, the subject matter is much lighter/more humorous and I’m excited to try that - usually a lot of angst slips in even when I try to keep things light so we’ll see how that goes haha. Also planning to throw in the good old one bed trope into that, which I love reading but haven’t written before.

What is your writing process like?

…there is no process haha. I have an idea, usually a scene or a line or just a feeling, and I start writing and see what happens. I don’t plan anything ahead, I don’t write anything down that isn’t literally just the story, I don’t know how long it’ll be etc - I just start writing and see where the characters want to go. I tend to write up a chapter or a oneshot in a day (sometimes two if I’m busy), then think about it overnight, edit the next day, and then post it once I’m ready.

Do you have any writing quirks?

Maybe a couple of little ones - I’m a fan of ironically both run-on sentences and line breaks - can never have enough line breaks for me. I use them a lot to emphasize things or just because they feel right. Run-on sentences I often use to show a character being indecisive/spiraling/emotional just because it sort of reflects that state.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

…neither. I have no schedule, but I also don’t wait until I’ve finished because I’m too impatient, and I find posting chapters as soon as I’m finished quite motivating. I’m a fairly quick writer so I can usually comfortably post a few updates a week.

Which fic are you most proud of?

That’s hard. I guess it would be The Wreckage Of You I No Longer Reside In, because it was the second fic I ever wrote and the first one longer than a small oneshot. I had covid, a lot of free time on my hands, and no idea what I was doing, but people seemed to really like it and I was floored by the response it got. There’s other fics too though, like My, My Those Eyes Like Fire or Keep My Hand In Yours that come close.

How did you get the idea for Oh Darling, Please Be Mine?

This fic happened while I was writing something else that I was struggling with a bit. Oh Darling, Please Be Mine was me returning to writing something familiar, something I felt comfortable with, and I enjoyed that one. I had worked as a vet nurse before and I really wanted to write vet tech Steve and Steddie with kittens.

When writing I Can Wait For You At The Bottom, what was something you didn’t expect?

That some people would comment and tell me it was accurate to their own experiences with depression. That’s one of the heaviest fics I’ve written and it dealt with Steve seriously struggling with his mental health. I was a little worried when writing it that I wasn’t depicting depression accurately - I’ve never been diagnosed with it myself despite definitely struggling with it or something very similar before. So I just wrote from the heart and people seemed to appreciate it, and I’m glad people found it authentic.

What inspired Keep My Hand In Yours?

I’d wanted to do a post-apocalypse fic for a long time. I love that genre so much, I love the idea of these characters being completely stripped down and having to survive in a very difficult world. Also, the title is from the Noah Kahan song Everywhere, Everything, and a lot of those lyrics inspired the fic too, especially the relationship between Steve and Robin.

What was your favorite part to write from Keep My Hand In Yours?

I think the reunion scene between Robin and Steve, or the scenes with Steve and Eddie at the cabin by the lake. I’d had those scenes in my mind for months before even starting to write that fic, and couldn’t wait to get to them.

How do/did you feel writing My, My, Those Eyes Like Fire?

I loved writing that fic. For me it was just such fun to write - I love sword fights/ancient history/that whole…genre. So I really loved writing that one, and it was literally entirely inspired by Joe Keery’s lovely gladiator outfit.

What was the most difficult part of writing The Wreckage Of You I No Longer Reside In?

That one wasn’t difficult, it really flowed. The most difficult part was actually maybe just sharing it - for so long I was terrified of putting my work out there, because I was convinced people would hate it or it wasn’t good enough/nowhere near as good as other authors’ works.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

It’s hard to think of one, there’s so many that are special to me for different reasons, but I think it would have to the be the Steve and Robin reunion scene from Keep My Hand In Yours: In the distance, two figures approached. Steve ran to them, caution thrown aside – he couldn’t make out their faces from here, but he knew one of them was Robin. He’d know her in the dark; would know her even if he were blind and deaf. One of the figures broke away from the other, running for Steve. They met in the middle of a dirt road at the end of the world, Steve scooping his best friend into his arms and dropping to his knees in the dust.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I have five fics ready to go for the Summer Things Fest, they’ll be released anonymously at first and then creators revealed a bit later, so keep an eye out for those later in July! Other than that, my current WIP We Made Universes Out Of Bitten Lips And Broken Hands is nearing the end at the time of writing this - a few more chapters to go and that’ll be complete. I’m away for the whole of July so not starting anything big until I get back, but I have a few ideas brewing, including a modern AU where Eddie and Dustin drag Steve along to New Zealand (where I’m from) to visit Lord of the Rings filming locations, and I’m quite excited to write that later in the year - planning at this stage for it to be upbeat and fun.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Just a thank you to anyone who has ever read my fics and dropped kudos or comments, I never expected people to even read my fics let alone enjoy them, so I’m really grateful to everyone who has. There’s some massively talented people here and their fics have helped me in so many ways over the years. And I’m happy to have met some lovely people through writing fics too :)

Thank you to our author, @ataliagold, and our anonymous nominator! See more Atalia_Gold's of works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[landwriter]

You've Got Mail AU, lay it on me

Brand new scene for you, TJ! (Prev You've Got Mail nonsense.)

If my WIPs were unionized, this one would've been loooong done. But they're not, unfortunately for them, and after like four days after talking about You've Got Mail-verse, I got talking about the Tam Lin AU, and we all know how that went.

The other snippets were silly, this one is a little sad:

It feels like another ending. Hob is sick of them. Morpheus’ face is perfectly expressionless. He can’t take it. Won’t. Wants to greedily keep this for just a little bit longer. He always does. Even when everybody else around him knows it’s over, there he is, holding on past decency and reason.

Morpheus is absurdly beautiful in the morning light.

Hob says what he’s been thinking for weeks now. “You know, sometimes I wonder if you came into my shop, and you hadn’t been Endless Books, and I hadn’t been The New Bookshop-”

“Then it wouldn’t have been your shop,” interrupts Morpheus.

“No,” he says. “I guess it wouldn’t be.”

Isn’t, now. In any case.

Morpheus catches the look on his face and takes pity on him. He’s kinder, Hob thinks, than anyone gives him credit for. Including himself. “A cafe, instead,” he offers.

“Or Shakespeare in the Park,” says Hob. He can picture it now.

Morpheus’ lip twitches up the way it does when he’s trying not to smile. “Yes. If we met at Shakespeare in the Park?”

“I would’ve offered you a spot on my blanket. And I would have hoped it would get cold or rain, so you would lean on me.”

Morpheus ducks his head, and Hob wants to seize his face, wants to thumb over those perfect cheekbones. Fist his hands in his shirt and not let go ever. “You would have forgotten your umbrella, of course,” says Morpheus, quietly.

“Of course. And the sky would have opened up until we had to hide under a tree.”

Morpheus looks up. “And then?”

“And then I would have found the courage to ask a beautiful stranger for his number, and I would have asked you out that very night. And if you’d said yes I’d have done it again and again. Every day, actually, for as long as we lived.”

“Hob,” says Morpheus. His eyes are bright.

“If we never came up against each other. If the only thing you ever took from me was the blankets at night.”

“We’d need to have two sets.”

Hob swallows hard. “Yeah. Yeah, we would.”

The sounds of the city lap up against them, but Hob feels like an island alone with Morpheus, standing together on his stoop. He hears the jingle of someone walking their dog past. A siren in the distance. And all he sees is Morpheus, the square of his shoulders, his jaw clenched.

“Morpheus-” he starts.

“Hob, how could you forgive him?” he asks roughly. “How on earth could you forgive this stranger for standing you up?”

“We all make mistakes.” Easily. I forgave him just as easily as I’d have forgiven you, if you had only let me.

Morpheus stares at him. “Yes. We do.” His mouth twists a little. “Some more than most, I would say.”

“Maybe. But people are almost always better than you’d think. Mistakes and all.”

“Ever the optimist.”

Hob presses his lips together in a smile. “Ever the cynic.”

“Go, Hob,” says Morpheus. “You’ll be late.”

He goes. It’s a beautiful day to meet his stranger. How can it feel like his heart is breaking, only now, only after everything, on the threshold of happiness?

[asexual-disaster]

‼️FHJY EP 2 SPOILERS ‼️

all my thoughts about episode two of junior year !! it’s a long one :)

The little scenes when they describe their attacks and moves where the minis are acting it out is so cute

‘A mega version of Riz’s mage hand’

They all look so good. But especially Ally and Murph omg

Adaine’s first turn was actually pretty sick

And Gorgugs wtf

AND KRISTENS TO MAKE IT BLOODED PLS

‘Do you have mass healing word? Would you be interested in doing that?’

‘Brennan you’re literally bullying us’

‘You can try, oh it does hit’

ARMOUR OF AYDA crying

These beans are DUE

Murph starting to roll like shit again

Fabian flirting with efac again

‘I punch the mirror’ ‘I punch Kristen twice’

Lou Nat one again to get out the van ‘I’m going to throw up’

In two turns Lou only needs a 2 to not get crushed by the van, and twice he rolls a nat one

‘For you to half or third or whatever you do since it has multiple attacks’

Adaine death fail instead of taking a Dex save wtf

‘You don’t have it written down! I thought you read the book’

ECAF NOOOO

‘Look somewhere else’

I need a full story of Balthazar and Duggan, THEY WERE LOVERS

Murphs sleeves being short enough to show off his tattoos, I might disintegrate

What is with these kids and crashing vehicles

Ally throwing their dice

‘With my wizarding powers and my absolutely fucked van’

‘Just don’t roll a one and this is over.’ ‘NAT 20’

Gorgug IS the greatest wizard of our time

DUGGAN NO. At least he’s with Balthazar now :(

Moggy the doggy crit <3

‘Can I get under that hood a lil bit’

‘Give me a tinkerers room check’ ‘I don’t have that’

‘It’s limp silk’

‘Fabian, photosynthesis is back!!’

It just ain’t the same

‘I don’t even cutting words. I just take it’

‘I’m feeling a little unhinged’

‘Love is love’

Gorgug double crit, my boy <3

The enemy rolling two Nat ones and shooting himself in the eye

Murph dying of laughter of these guys showing up late

‘Nat 20’ ‘are you serious?’ Balthazar is everywhere

Adaine would’ve got a job, Fabian would’ve gone to dance camp, Gorgug would’ve worked on his van ; THEYRE JUST KIDS

But Riz is just happy they got to spend the summer together STOP MY SON

‘I do a half hearted prayer of healing just because I don’t trust you’

‘This was supposed to be an in and out deal but I got involved and I regret it’

‘Hey girlie,,, heyyy girlieee’

HALLARIEL ART, UGH SHES SO HOT

Gilear x Hallerial wedding WHEN

There’s something so sad about Fabian, who’s been coddled his whole life, being abandoned and left to fend for himself in a massive house

SKLONDA MY FIRST AND ONLY LOVE

Sklonda talking to Riz about college and how she doesn’t know if she can afford it for him

Riz just wants to go to college with everyone stop :(( him and adaine are fine there grades are good, but he needs to make sure he finds a place that suits the others please!!!!

WILMA AND DIGBY I LOVE U !! THEYRE SO CUTE

WAIT DID GORGUG AND ZELDA BREAK UP?? THEY ARE NOT THE COUPLE THAT WAS MEANT TO SPLIT !! Although calling it rn they’re getting back together

‘The elven oracle, the Saint of mystery and doubt, and the archdevil of rebellion’ THATS MY GIRLS!!!

RAGH AND LYDIA ART I MIGHT SOB

Kristen never told anyone she changed gods (I guess twice now?), Fig still hasn’t been to a bard class. They’re so funny

WE GOT AYDA ART!!!!

Ayda leaving Fig fossils to say she loves her her!!

Aelwyn putting protective wards on adaines bedroom to keep adaine safe :((

Cassandra my love,, but also it should not be up to a literal child who has just came out a religious cult to keep you alive and all that.

[dreamerwitches]

Im miffed that Mabayu’s witch was never revealed but I knew she was going to have a second magia since a little while ago.

But i think the question is…. Who would it have been? The biggest answer is Itzli, and also Waplurgis because of her colours (but honestly its way looser…) but Im focusing on Itzli to start.

I think its a no. I honestly think Mabayu’s film theming was just a gimmick, a stunt to get people guessing. But when you look at other aspects of Itzli they just dont line up at all.

‘a magical girl who came from the end of the galaxy’ you could reeeaally stretch this to say the end of the galaxy is Mabayu’s loops but i really dont think this is right

‘she has shown herself here to forget about all the magical girls from this universe’ works in Mabayu’s favour. Shes sick of being stuck and forced into a bunch of magical girls business she honestly has nothing to do with but HAS to help because she literally has nothing else. But its the universe bit that doesnt work. It honestly makes me think of Ultimate Madoka more. She, of course, has seen magical girls across the universe. Mabayu has seen… five

Her labyrinth is absolutely a point for Mabayu, its a theatre damn it. But its very obvious so I neednt delve

One thing against Mabayu is that Itzli has a pretty clear clover theme. Its the kind that you’d imagine her magi having it as her soul gem or something. Its on her kiss, hairclip thing and Kyubey states she uses clovers all over the world to spy on others. Mabayu completely lacks this. Witch abilities always link to their magi, it wouldnt just pop out of nowhere. (Ophelia can multiply, oktavia has a sword, candeloro has ribbons, you get it)

Another thing in Mabayu’s favour is that Itzli is clearly linked to Homura. Homura is the first magical girl to meet her and Kyubey states that Itzli has grown strong because of Homura. Mabayu and Homura have a clear link in scene zero and she remembers Mabayu at the start of new loops. They do have a connection and yes, Mabayu did grow stronger as a magical girl because of Homura.

Its certainly tricky cause there are things for and against her… I have a terrible feeling they DO want her to be Itzli but are like ‘oh lets just retcon those things we confirmed before to make it work’ (unless Mabayu is an alien after all??? Eh, that could explain her mama’s abilities..? And maybe why she didnt want anyone to see her in the hospital cause the jig would be up? Now thats a theory..!) im still hung up on the clovers though. Came from a clover planet??

But one thing that has been rattling around in my head is this… Mabayu cant become a witch. Why? Because every time she dies, she just starts the loop over. She cant die so we’ll never see her witch. This could be a hundred percent wrong because i havent seen all of scene zero but its my hunch so far

Well what do you think? Im interested to see others thoughts

[oncemorewithqueering]

twin peaks sexuality headcanons

warning: very long

my god do I have THINGS to say about this show and 99 of them are about albert

so I thought before my feed is entirely twin peaks, I’d give my thoughts on the Outrageous Gay Tension of this show with some context

also ignore my handwriting, I’m very sick at the moment and have taken a lot of paracetamol (be more responsible than me kids)

spoilers for all 3 seasons, sorry

DALE COOPER

he/him

transmasc (FTM)

bisexual

listen. listen. trucoop is real rosencoop is real it’s all real. i love coop more than i can describe (which is weird considering I’m gay) and i heavily head cannoned him as trans and bi the second he drove onto my screen. i think he’d prefer men but women are also his cup of tea, or coffee rather. anyway he deserved better and he deserved to give Harry a little kiss.

HARRY TRUMAN

he/him

cisgender male

bisexual

i originally would have said Harry was gay, but I’m not a big fan of relationship erasure. yes, he is with josie. that’s why he’s bi.

i think Harry would have had a crush on some guys at school but would have bottled it down, until coop came to town, and he suddenly had a gay crisis. if i had to pinpoint a moment, i would say his initial realisation would have been when coop steals his nose (best scene) and he would have come to terms with it by the end of season 1.

even harry is not immune to the eyes of Dale cooper.

LAURA PALMER

she/they

cisgender female (but questioning her identity)

biromantic lesbian

first up, I’d like to give my consolidation to Laura palmer and anyone who may be reading who ever experienced something like her. she is my favourite character, apart from Coop Harry and Audrey, and i think she deserved so much better. PERSONALLY i think she and Donna had a very strong emotional romance but not necessarily a physical one. i think that her experiences with men caused her to do a big ol’ comphet and assume she liked being intimate with men. in reality, i think she wasn’t actually attracted to them but was doing it, alongside all the canon reasons, to reject her feelings to women.

and James happened, i guess.

DONNA HAYWARD

she/they

demigirl

homoflexible

idk whether i just see my identity in donna, but i think she definitely isn’t 100% female. i can’t explain it at all, but i just get the vibe.

as for her sexuality, obviously she and Laura had their thing, but i think her romantic tension with literally all. the. female. characters. initially made me think she was a lesbian. but, we have the James factor.

fucking James (my reaction whenever he is onscreen btw)

i think that her emotional intimacy to Laura would have naturally led her to the other emotionally intimate person in Laura’s life. i think James is the closest thing she has to Laura left, which is so sad. i love donna, idc what the widely accepted opinion is. i believe the ‘Just You’ song scene is her grappling with her feeling with maddy. i mean tbh if my girlfriend died and then her identical twin came back, i would probably be weird about it too.

AUDREY HORNE

she/they

trans femme (MTF) (i couldn’t fit it on the picture sorry)

biromantic demisexual

AUDREY AUDREY AUDREY AUDREY MY BELOVED

when i tell you i came out of twin peaks 15% gayer it is BECAUSE OF THIS GIRL. i love her storylines, her dialogue, her friendship with coop. it all feels so realistic! and her dancing!

back to the sexuality and gender thing, which is what this post is about, i personally believe her crush on coop came from a place of seeing a happy trans person comfortable in their identity and finding that beautiful. then translating that to love.

as for being biromantic, c’mon. donna and her definitely had a thing going for a bit. her demi sexuality comes from a place of her extreme discomfort in sex work (which is valid if you aren’t demisexual, by the way, but combined with her virginity until she forms a meaningful connection, the pieces fell into place for me. yes i am also demisexual and yes i am totally biased.)

ALBERT ROSENIFELD

he/him (because he is Him)

trans masc (FTM)

gay as fuck

“I love you, sheriff Truman”

I’m sorry??? excuse me?

albert is gay in so many ways it’s not even funny. with coop. with Harry. with gordon in season 3. and my trans headcanon? idk i just sort of vibed with it. normalise head canonning people as gay or trans with no reason.

also i love the idea that Denise, Albert and coop are just a group of trans fbi agents. we already have Mulder from the x files we need more (tell me if you want an x files version of this)

GORDON COLE

he/him

cisgender male

bicurious

i honestly can’t tell if David lynch would curse me for this post or just shrug it off

anyway. gordon didn’t strike me as being particularly fruity until season 3, when he had his whole trans power speech and those weirdly domestic scenes with albert. like, pop off little fbi husbands. i think he’s still working through period-typical biphobia and isn’t ready to say he’s bi. but i think with time he will be.

someone needs to take me away from this show for like a week and sit me down with some literature. I’d just gay headcanon it anyway (looking at you Sherlock Holmes)

BOBBY BRIGGS

they/he

demiboy

bisexual

the more i watch this show, the more i think to myself…”Bobby is…me?” idk whether it’s dana ashbrook’s truly unhinged and amazing performance, the weird nervous gay energy and the lack of masculinity for a character who would normally be obnoxiously masculine. i love him so much.

i think Bobby would struggle in the gender norms of being the child of a military man. and the sexuality norms of being the “bad boy” in school. i firmly believe that he is bisexual, because let’s face it, everyone in this godforsaken show is bi. find me ONE straight character. ONE STRAIGHT.

SHELLY JOHNSON

she/her

cisgender female

heteroflexible and demisexual

SHELLY IS A LITTLE BIT GAY BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD AS I WAS WATCHING THIS I WAS THIS CLOSE (HOLDS FINGERS TOGETHER) TO KISSING MY TV SCREEN.

shelly seems like the sort of person to have been raised with certain heteronormative values. but, i think after going out with Bobby, i think she’d have a little sit and think and say “huh maybe i would kiss a girl.” she hasn’t, yet, but that’s just because her crushes so far have been on men. if she met the right girl, she would.

i think her demisexuality comes partly from trauma and also because we need something in common because, if i haven’t made it clear, i LOVE HER.

HAWK

he/him

cisgender male

gay

don’t be lying about that poetry being for your girlfriend hawk. this is the only character where i will defy canon, fold my arms and say no. i love that hawk got a bigger role in season 3, and i think that based off all i know about him (being the best character) i would headcanon him as being gay. why? idk. look at him?

hawk would totally just rock up one day with a guy on his arm, no explanation, and say nothing until Lucy stumbled into asking him about this guy. and he’d just be like “oh this is my husband. yeah we’ve been married for 6 years. you were at the wedding, we just didn’t tell you it was a wedding.”

iconic.

also i had hair envy the entire show, i wish that when i straightened my hair it was that luxurious.

LUCY BRENNAN

she/her

cisgender female

bisexual

I’m sorry Lucy, no one is THAT frazzled and not sapphic. it’s a rule.

i feel like Lucy would consider herself straight until she was taught about the internet, got a Facebook account, and promptly shut it down, but before doing that saw the word ‘bisexual’ and felt weirdly drawn to it. Andy was, of course, super supportive if a little confused. she’s still figuring it out.

i feel like she’d wear sweaters in the bisexual colours and be very happy whenever someone noticed.

ANDY BRENNAN

he/him

cisgender male

straight ally (but not really)

Andy is straight, but like more in a straight with a question mark way. maybe if he hadn’t dated Lucy, maybe if they hadn’t fallen in love, he would have caught feelings for a guy. after Lucy came out, he did some thinking, but decided to keep it to himself. who knows, maybe his tulpa is “kinda gay” (obligatory Buffy reference)

WE ARE DONE LADIES AND GENTS AND PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT EITHER BUT STILL HIGHLY ESTEEMED.

so, thoughts? I’m gonna do a part two with the season 3 exclusive characters, and some characters i forgot, like Norma, ed, Hank, josie, James….and Wyndam Earl. OH and Denise

thank you so much for bearing with me, and love y’all 🫶

(not as much as I’ll ever love Shelly)

[halliescomut]

My Personal Weatherman Ep 7- No Subs watch

Again a reminder, this is me reacting to the new episode of MPW that I get from an internet friend-y, but unfortunately (for me) they speak Japanese, but I do not, and the link they send has no subtitles, so I have no idea what anyone is saying. In fairness...I have been watching Japanese series for about 2 decades, so I can pick up on a couple words/phrases, but mostly my goal is to observe body language to kind of guess what the story is. It's a fun, silly little game. There may be moderate spoilers about sequences, though I try to keep things vague, and of course no dialogue spoilers. Let's go!

-Oooh! An on location segment for the weather. How exciting! (ALso I swear it looks like the location is just outside of Man-san's apartment building, and that's why they had the camera framed so close in.) And Yoh still watching Mizuki so closely.

-Oh, we have ARCs...is this actually a few weeks later, or is the BL manga publishing industry able to do a two day turn around?

-Man-san sounds very encouraging, at least.

-That is a clearly depressed and defeated Segasaki. Poor guy. Has still no one explained that Man-san's husband isn't after Yoh?? Really?

-Why is Yoh always so goddamn suspicious??? My god dude.

-I will say also, I don't love Mizuki's tone here, but I think that's me relating a bit too much to Yoh (since we're both on the same side of a D/s dynamic). I know I would be really upset to hear that distance in in Mizuki's voice if I were Yoh.

-Now we're getting the flashbacks from Mizuki's POV....interesting. I can't wait to know what he was thinking when he saw Yoh. His face is so precious.

-^^Literally all I could hear in my head at this scene: "Hands touch, eyes meet/Sudden silence, sudden heat/Hearts leap in a giddy whirl"

-Segasaki's college friends feel very much like friends of convenience. Like when you become best friends with a kid when you're 7, but it's mostly because you live in the same neighborhood.

-Aww, now we have Yoh in a cozy sweater.

-It is so sub of Yoh to just hand over his sketchbook without question, completely forgetting all of the portraits of Segasaki in there...and I REALLY wanna translate what Segasaki's response was, but I will wait.

-IDK what Segasaki is saying exactly, but I'd bet real folding money that's something pretty close to 'no matter what I couldn't stop thinking about him"

-The way Yoh came and grabbed him...what's going on??

-Aww, sick baby Mizuki. So cute. And the costuming makes them a matching set with their beige and blue. That's so cute.

-I just spent the last scene going like this, so....

-But now we have THE CURRY!!! The curry that made Segasaki finish falling in love with Yoh. I don't feel like curry is supposed to be that crunchy...but I could be wrong.

-His face, I'm dying.. And the little bonk on the head. Oh, if I wasn't already head over heels for these two dinguses, this would have been the last straw for me as well.

-Mizuki's love for petting Yoh is so fucking CUTE!!!!

-Yoh's smile as he draws Segasaki- so PRECIOUS!!!! (Sorry I keep yellling.)

-Poor Mizuki's face. 🥺🥺🥺 He really thought for a minute that Yoh left again.

-Dripping wet rain kiss!! We love it!!!

-Ooh...ooh....OOH!!!! God I really wanna translate Mizuki's little speech here, but I'm pretty sure the gist was 'you're mine, and I'm not letting you get away again". 🥵☺️😁🥰

This was an excellent episode. I mean the whole series has been, but this just....so good. I can't wait to understand more than 27% of it.

Finale next week (Booo!!!😠) but I will be happy to be able to watch the complete story over and over into forever. That'll be nice. Honestly this is the first BL I've every considered getting a physical copy of it's so good.

[oh-no-my-hand-slipped]

A Sneezy Season at Santa’s

Chapter 15: Santa Ex Machina

Info About This Choose Your Own Adventure

Cherry squeezed her braid.

“Everything’s gotten so out of hand. I know we can’t do this alone, but…”

She looked out the window. Gray clouds were beginning to gather, and the once gentle breeze was now whipping through the evergreens.

“I just…what if…I know this isn’t my fault, but I still can’t help but feel responsible. My first time doing a tour, and this happens.”

You’d never seen Cherry so unsure of herself. Usually, she was so gung-ho to go anywhere, do anything, take charge. But since her aura had begun to fade, her confidence had faded with it.

You try to assure her that none of this is her fault, and if Santa is the kind soul you’ve heard he is, he won’t blame this on her. Besides, since he was at the top of the workshop, it was likely he already knew what was going on, and was working to stop it. Cherry sighed.

“I’m…I’m sorry. You’re absolutely right. I’m just a bit…frazzled. Let’s just go to the elevator. Out of here.”

You agree. The infirmary was stuffy from the sheer amount of sick elves and medics, and everyone had to yell both through their masks and over the noise.

Cherry took a breath of relief as she stepped out of the infirmary and towards the elevator.

“Alright, Santa’s office is on the top floor. Something tells me he isn’t meeting with many elves today, so we should get in pretty quick.”

You both stepped onto the elevator and began your ascent, hearing the familiar jingle as you moved from floor to floor. Cherry fidgeted more and more with each level you went up, even biting the end of her braid.

By the time you both had reached the top floor, Cherry was leaning back and forth on her feet, her braid almost undone between her hands.

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” she said, hair still between her lips. “What if he thinks we did it? I mean, we’re the only ones who aren’t sick! How will we-”

A loud ding interrupted her, and the elevator doors opened.

Another long hallway, decorated with various trinkets — snow globes, small figurines, souvenirs from around the world — stretched in front of you, with red velvet walls and plush carpet. At the end was an old wooden door, carved with the same scenes as the door leading into the workshop.

A small gold plaque read “Mr. Santa K. Claus”.

“Well,” Cherry said, “I guess it’s kind of late now, huh?”

You nodded, walking past her towards Santa’s office. Cherry hurried to join you.

As you got closer to the office, you could hear a low, grumbling voice.

“…no…situation…understand…”

Even when you got to the door, the thick oak made it hard to hear what was being said.

“…mystery…completely…so many…”

“It sounds like he’s busy,” Cherry said. “Maybe we should come back later?”

You pressed your ear against the door, trying to hear better. However, the voice on the other side had gone quiet.

Suddenly, the door opened, leaving you stumbling to catch your footing. Luckily, a kind face was on the other side, with shimmering eyes and a beard white as snow.

It could hardly be anyone else.

“Well, hello! I hope you aren’t waiting on my account.”

Santa smiled, standing to the side to show you in. His office was the same as the hallway — cozy and comfortable, with many mementos from his travels. A fireplace crackled with a yellow glow, and dark desk made of glossy wood stood in the corner.

“We’re sorry to bother you,” Cherry said as you all went into the office.

Santa chuckled. “Oh, nonsense! I was only speaking with the infirmary.”

His eyebrows furrowed a little.

“Usually I would have someone to show you in — Yolanda — but I’m afraid she fell very under the weather, as I’m sure you can expect. Poor girl…”

You piped up, saying that’s what you came to talk to him about.

“Oh, yes, it’s just awful,” Santa said. “This morning, I thought it was just a flu going around the workshop. They do happen from time to time. But now…”

Santa sighed, sitting down at his desk.

“I can’t deny what I’ve been afraid of.”

“Afraid of? You know what’s going on?” Cherry said with a hint of relief.

“Perhaps — although I hope with all my heart I’m wrong.”

You ask him to explain. Santa turned towards a large window, gesturing to a particularly large crag on the mountains in the distance.

“I believe that this is caused by none other than Jack Frost.”

Cherry gasped, covering her mouth. “But, didn’t you-?”

“I only banished him from our domain. I still allowed him to rule the kingdom that was rightfully his.”

Santa turned to you.

“Jack Frost is another magical entity that lives in the North Pole. He controls all manner of frost and snow, and believes that, because of his abilities, he should rule over the entirety of it. Of course, he isn’t pleased that I built my workshop here, and he fought for his control. I have a field of magic that keeps him from coming near the workshop…but perhaps not far enough to keep him from wreaking havoc.”

Santa took of his glasses and massaged his temple.

“If Jack Frost was behind this, it’s likely that he used our shared magic to spread the illness.”

“That’s why you haven’t gotten sick!” Cherry said, patting your shoulder. “You haven’t joined the workshop yet, so you still haven’t been through the magic ceremony.”

Santa smiled, but it was suddenly broken off by a rough cough. Cherry scurried behind the desk.

“Mr. Claus!”

“It’s alright, Cherry,” Santa said, clearing his throat. “I’ll be fine. I have much more magic to infect than most elves.”

He pulled a red handkerchief out of his pocket, then blew his nose. Now, it looked less like a cherry and more like a tomato.

“But, as much as I’d like to speak with Jack myself, I’m afraid stepping outside of the circle would leave the workshop with almost no power of its own.”

“And you’re sick!” Cherry said, taking a quilt from the back of a nearby rocking chair and giving it to Santa. “You shouldn’t be going anywhere.”

Santa chuckled, taking the quilt and wrapping it around himself.

“Fair point. Although…I…ah…AH…!”

He buried his nose into the quilt.

“AH’KTSHHHH!”

“Oh, bless you!” Cherry said, fussing over the quilt.

While Cherry made Santa more comfortable, you thought of your next course of action. There weren’t any other elves besides Cherry that were well enough to help you, and you weren’t sure how long that would last. And would it be best to stay here, or to go confront Jack Frost?

After you think it over, you finally have an idea.

[certainheaven]

I have a lot of things to write about my attempt to induce lucid dream, i start it from March this year, what a long time journey and i am still here… sigh..

Back to lucid dream, ( traditional method as MILD, WILD, etc i tried those sometimes, but lately i stick to SSILD when WBTB and yoga nidra before sleep, i always keep my dream journal too, you will be surprise how many log in my dream journal but no LD yet 🥲, and of course reality check every hour and sometimes i did ADA ( all day awareness)*correct me if i am wrong)

Tried, a lot of herb for induce LD but nothing worked for me, silly me bought 3 pouch of mugwort tea back then ( one pouch is 30 bag of tea ), the taste is horrible, who in the world like this kind of tea, even i like tea i hate this one 😭 drank it before sleep, no effect, drank it when WBTB, no effect, even i didnt get any vivid dream and my dream recall so horrible after that. Wonder why people succeeded with it…

Blue lotus, that one is expensive one and i just got a little flowers for quite of money to spent 🥲 not worked for me too ( i want to hit myself ) in the first time i drank it i had this really long deep sleep i ever had, like you just hit your pillow and close your eyes for one second and one second later you open your eyes, you already sleep for 7 hours! I am grateful for that one though, i never sleep like that before. But yeah after that first time it didn't do anything for me anymore, not deep sleep, not vivid dream or i even can't remember my dream.

After that, i don't want to tried the tea or herbs again, due to disappointment, and then, came these supplements…

Anyone maybe did heard a lot about vitamin B, especially B6 and B12 which coincidentally make people LD, well lucky for me because i lack on these vitamins (including vitamin D) and i bought it for my health too, i bought only vitamin with B1, B6 and B12 in it first but i change to B-complex ( there are choline in it so also need it for my memory, i had the most bad memory in the world if i can say it) so it's a win-win if i really did LD with it too but well… you know the outcome already. But one day i tried this B1, B6 and B12 vitamin one when i did WBTB, i did have semi-lucid(?) one when anything out of place like who in the world can pull blanket through the wall?????? Yeah it was me and i keep thinking it was normal to pulled blanket through the wall, i always like this when had ‘really dream-like scene and there no way you can witness an do it in real life’ and keep thinking it was okay, dam—- what an idiot 😭

But tell you what, after regularly consume B-complex and vitamin D3 frequently my dream became kinda vivid and my recall more better than before consume these vitamins. That's a great progress i guess.

And the recent supplements i just bought a week ago! Huperzine-A and Alpha-GPC! Sigh anything related to brain always expensive 😭 you guys know Galantamine? Yeah that one supplement also the most potent tool for induce LD due to people who review it on reddit, but sadly i can't bought it and you need prescription to buy it (and the price my god more pricey than those two i just mentioned… just why…😭)

Like how stupid i was, i consumed it both when WBTB, due to high choline in these two i am not surprised i was so sick and wanted to fainted after i woke up. Hard to falling asleep again but try to force it but i feel uncomfortable don't know why, and didn't get any dream, maybe because how high choline in my body that day, these two supplements work so fast like the effect will peak at around 10-15 min after you consume it.

I bought the 250 uhm mcg or mg(?) Huperzine-A i don't remember sorry ( i told you my memory is trash 😭 luckily this two main benefits is help with memory and cognitive) and uhm 600 mg Alpha-GPC 50% so you will only get 300 mg when you consume it one pill.

The question is why these supplements? Well, i can't explain it because i am not expert or really know, but choline is help with active brain when we are sleep, and like Galantamine which is for Alzheimer disease, these kind of supplements for Alzheimer found out to be effective and coincidentally induced LD, that curious isn't it? If you really want to know and curious search it up yourself because i can't explain more than this 🤣

Planning to using this for just once per week, because these supplements stay inside body kinda in a long time. I am out of method and kinda tired to always met with disappointment so i tried supplements, but it's also help my brain so i can't complain 🥲

[alitgblog]

s9 vol 7 thoughts: ah fuck this season has its problems but I don't think I've ever been this conflicted over love interests in a while

STEFAN 😍😍😍 literally I have to change my top five islanders now like I'm so sorry evan. AND he's an artist?? And it's my own fault for already buying into the second chance romance bit before he even showed up but like he's not ugly? omg stop. oof it's tough, like, shit I'm so sorry Natasha and Hamish I don't know who to pick in this love square they've got

him illustrating his sister's book for his sisters?? 🥺 I may be folding for that alone

I like Cassius' design. I like it more than Theo's but he does remind me of Liam unfortunately. and also he's looking like my MC's cousin this season so I gotta pass this time but makes it easier for me. but he does seem great, I like him and he's sweet without being boring (so far), but I also kinda wish we had an LI that gave us more pushback/banter? bc I picked a few options that disagreed with his whole thing about love/fate and he was just like "yeah fs that's a cool opinion too" which OK I get it he's nice but I'm just kinda sick of all the Islanders being so agreeable to MC. I guess Marshall is supposed to be the banter-y one but I have problems with him being here so I wish it was Cassius instead.

that being said they're fucking teasing me with this response to why are you here though

also at some point Cassius calls his season boring and I thought it was funny fusebox was dunking on themselves bc I didn't finish s7 either but no he was just referring to the fact he got dumped quickly.

I'm glad Lyle is back, like I'd be upset if an islander was only brought on for a date and then left, so I'm not mad at this even though he was momentarily mad at MC (and that became nothing?? like just take out that plot point) and i dont really care hes only coded in for Kat now. I'm just more upset bc they've literally already done this in S8 bc your LI has to pick between Sienna and Bea when they get "dumped" and then Sienna comes back in Casa.

And then we get to marshall and I don't even wanna talk about it. And ive made separate posts and reblogged some opinions on that so ill just add that also i hate his orange outfit. him dressing all white and ozzy all black was peak I hate he's out here in orange smh.. anyway so that'll be easy for me to not pick this season

although we get this and I thought it was funny like OK fine you got me marshall

he says it with a smile too not even angry/sarcastic

then after that I honestly don't remember what happens apart from way too many challenges all at once and the whole Stefan storyline. I wanted him to be a little upset initially bc it did seem like MC had some misunderstanding and then left him so quickly like I just wanted a little bit of angst where he came in with the gameplan of wanting to give her a piece of his mind and was on the show bc he couldn't contact her any other way, before he realized he was being silly and just was happy to see her again. like if anything, the story beats that Lyle goes through being snarky at mc in episode 1 then immediately asking for forgiveness by episode 3 makes more sense for Stefan but nah instead it just feels like another perfect li loyal route (which is fine but I like some tension in the story). like we can still have the terrace scene where he explains things though.

also if I saw this on love island? I'd be voting for them without question the angst is so good

OK I'm looking thru my screenshots and am now remembering I was upset at raunchy races for being subjective again. notable offenses:

straight out the gate, most creative boy and Kelly says "craft brewing is creative" gtfo as if it's not Chen the set designer (and anyone who brought back Lyle from the dates, I'd imagine musician over craft beer brewer as well)

Kat somehow doesn't win best dancer

I love Kelly and sure, biggest foodie but not when my mc is a chef smh at least in S6 the dialogue would change slightly with your occupation lmao

the physical challenge is OK but I just think it doesn't belong in casa. like on the actual show where they spend real days in casa it's fine but for the game that has to shorten it bc the volumes definitely don't add up to the length of real love island, it feels like a waste. if anything, the real villa needed a physical challenge rather than continuing to do variations on excess baggage type games.

someone help Kelly out with the mask pls

anyway the OG islander to visit instead of a postcard is interesting. I think a postcard makes the most sense but bc the game has to fabricate drama while also probably wanting most of the guys to still look good since the villa is like 75% love interests for MC, maybe it makes sense?

I think having it be MC's partner doesn't give us a lot of drama unless MC wants to bring up Stefan. Finn and Hamish could be interesting whether you're pursuing them or not. Like under the guise of them checking in on their partner, but they just care about MC and are asking her not to forget them. Most likely i think it'll be Kat's partner and he'll make up some lies about what's happening in the villa.

anyway a little rough first few weeks of the season but I'm enjoying at least this episode, surprisingly, so we'll seeeeee.... I think the seasons generally gets worse post casa so I'm not betting on this being a good season overall, but I'm not calling it a flop just yet.

[maddstermind]

OC In 15

Thank you for the tag @the-down-upside-finch!!! This is so fun!!!!

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

I uh. Did all of the POV Quartet. So I will tag people up top and put it all below a readmore LMAO. Tagging @saintedseraph, @k-v-briarwood, @sentfromwolves, @veneritia, and @scribe-scott!!

Rosamund:

"It's not true. I'm not- I'm not bad. It was-wasn't my idea. I ju-just want to be wi-with the people I lo-love. Please."

"Roland. Teach me how to fight. [...] For me. For my peace of mind. For the worst case scenario."

"You're doing this to ensure I don't put an end to the war you're so desperately trying to start, and I won't stand for it."

"Magic isn't a sickness, mother. I'm proud to have it."

"I thought we were in no danger here?" ["Well, I certainly hope so, but there's no harm in being prepared."] "So the knights should be at the dinner."

["I will not let you ruin your future."] "You are ruining my future. I've seen it."

"Have you ever gotten the feeling you're seeing someone for the last time?"

"I'd rather have died in that fire than continue to be tied to a nation of small-minded slaughterers."

"You all fear magic. My mother did, too. But keep this in mind for if we ever meet again. You are no longer negotiating with a like-minded Sivonese noble. You are dealing with a mage."

"I want to be nothing like [my mother]. Lucky for me, that means being a decent person."

"I won't let it happen. I will not fall to this."

"That's very interesting, but I'm not giving up until I make some progress."

"Run. Before I stop being a coward and kill you."

"I didn't mean to hide my position from you, I simply... didn't want you to be intimidated."

["You can't trust me already."] "But I'd like to."

Christie:

"Genes don't dictate guilds. Anyone can do anything."

"I'm not quitting. I may be young, but I'm not quitting. I'm just... frustrated."

"I don't care if she doesn't like me. I'm not going to stay away from you just because she wants me too."

"Val Thorne! He's an investigator, hunting down criminals all around Exosto. He's from Crown's Ridge, and I've been to some of the places he goes to in his books. Sometimes he gets details wrong, though, but that's okay. It's a fictional version of Exosto. He doesn't have to worry about things like diplomatic passage to get into Rasduk."

[debating if someone is flirting] "I think it's too early to throw it out as a theory, though. You may come across more evidence to support it. But I'd consult the opinion of an expert."

["Secret passage? Where to?"] "I don't know. I'm about to find out."

"I'm not afraid of anything. But I know it's important to be safe, and even more important to be calm, so you can handle if things go badly or if you find something gross, like a skeleton."

"I will be a great mage. Just you wait."

"I don't care if they don't want me. They never came and found me, so I don't know if they loved me that much. But I at least want to know who they are. If they look weird, like me. That kind of thing."

"I have to tell her. I don't— Don't want her to think less of me. I have to tell her."

"I don't want [Maurelle] to fall behind. I'm fine. Goodbye."

"If they're worried about time… n-no offense, but why would they hire an Investigator who is magic-averse?"

"Don't say stuff like that. That's for movies when people are about to die."

"Do you ever wish you could do magic?"

"I told you I'll stay safe. I'm not leaving."

Addison:

"My Lady. Would you like to crash this party? And this whole engagement, as it were?"

["You're the witch house guy?"] "Glad to see that's become my reputation."

["Rulers should always be honest. That's what Miss Fairchild always says."] "And she's right, but guess what? Most rulers aren't. And I'm not a ruler yet."

[to a bird] "You're a cute little thing, you know. Strange, but cute."

["What did you say about stabbing?"] "I gave them plenty of warning. And no one got hurt."

"I promise you'll be safe. I'll set you down just as soon as you'll be able to move by yourself."

"Luxurious or not, [the castle is] still a prison."

"I'm sorry? Just like them? You can just say magic-averse, Miss Fairchild, it's not a dirty word. And for your information, yes! I do plan on being just like them! Is it such a terrible thing to be? I suppose you'd think so, having magic all your life. You've never known what it's like to be without it! I'd pity you if the truth wasn't that it's terrible and limiting."

"Up for an adventure? I'm looking for a witch."

"Katamar, Dimitio, Vunwra. Guide me to what I'm seeking. Do not let me go home empty handed. I was put on this path for a reason, you put me here, did you not?"

"Funny story. I did almost die."

"I believe in all of you. I think you should at least try for what you want. It's better to try and fail than to not try at all."

["That's an antique, not a weapon."] "I think it'll do."

"I didn't meant to kill him - oh, Silpa. Oh, Silpa, I killed someone."

"I'm sorry for all that. Tha-Thank you for helping me. I promise it won't happen again."

Ashton:

"I can't have it happen again, Sutton. I want to help you, but I can't lose another town."

"Stay here. Stay hidden. I'll try and get them away from here. Keep away from the windows, and do not go outside until I come back alone. Understand?"

[lying] "I've never met a mage. I wouldn't know if I saw one."

"I'm coming with you. If… you don't mind the company."

"I'll be back. As soon as I'm able, I'll be back."

"This is a mountain, Sutton, the last thing you're going to see up here is fish."

["Anything [alcoholic] I can get you?"] "Something lighter, please."

"I can't imagine anyone being afraid of your magic."

"Hey, you're hurting yourself. You're not going to get out that way."

"If I'd known you'd react like this, I would've tried to find something else. You don't have to apologize for a reaction like this."

"How am I supposed to help you if I don't know what to avoid? If I don't know why we're doing this in the first place?"

"You were a kid asking for help. That does not put you at fault for their disappearance, you did the right thing. Anyone would have done the same."

"Twenty years, and I've been playing the victim this whole time. I'm scared of fire, a-and of rosey-armored knights, and I shouldn't be! I brought it on myself. I have no right to act this way, but I do."

[about magic] "I never thought it would feel like this."

["I've come this far."] "We've come this far."