#tj you know you had me writing this real time today <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[landwriter]

You've Got Mail AU, lay it on me

Brand new scene for you, TJ! (Prev You've Got Mail nonsense.)

If my WIPs were unionized, this one would've been loooong done. But they're not, unfortunately for them, and after like four days after talking about You've Got Mail-verse, I got talking about the Tam Lin AU, and we all know how that went.

The other snippets were silly, this one is a little sad:

It feels like another ending. Hob is sick of them. Morpheus’ face is perfectly expressionless. He can’t take it. Won’t. Wants to greedily keep this for just a little bit longer. He always does. Even when everybody else around him knows it’s over, there he is, holding on past decency and reason.

Morpheus is absurdly beautiful in the morning light.

Hob says what he’s been thinking for weeks now. “You know, sometimes I wonder if you came into my shop, and you hadn’t been Endless Books, and I hadn’t been The New Bookshop-”

“Then it wouldn’t have been your shop,” interrupts Morpheus.

“No,” he says. “I guess it wouldn’t be.”

Isn’t, now. In any case.

Morpheus catches the look on his face and takes pity on him. He’s kinder, Hob thinks, than anyone gives him credit for. Including himself. “A cafe, instead,” he offers.

“Or Shakespeare in the Park,” says Hob. He can picture it now.

Morpheus’ lip twitches up the way it does when he’s trying not to smile. “Yes. If we met at Shakespeare in the Park?”

“I would’ve offered you a spot on my blanket. And I would have hoped it would get cold or rain, so you would lean on me.”

Morpheus ducks his head, and Hob wants to seize his face, wants to thumb over those perfect cheekbones. Fist his hands in his shirt and not let go ever. “You would have forgotten your umbrella, of course,” says Morpheus, quietly.

“Of course. And the sky would have opened up until we had to hide under a tree.”

Morpheus looks up. “And then?”

“And then I would have found the courage to ask a beautiful stranger for his number, and I would have asked you out that very night. And if you’d said yes I’d have done it again and again. Every day, actually, for as long as we lived.”

“Hob,” says Morpheus. His eyes are bright.

“If we never came up against each other. If the only thing you ever took from me was the blankets at night.”

“We’d need to have two sets.”

Hob swallows hard. “Yeah. Yeah, we would.”

The sounds of the city lap up against them, but Hob feels like an island alone with Morpheus, standing together on his stoop. He hears the jingle of someone walking their dog past. A siren in the distance. And all he sees is Morpheus, the square of his shoulders, his jaw clenched.

“Morpheus-” he starts.

“Hob, how could you forgive him?” he asks roughly. “How on earth could you forgive this stranger for standing you up?”

“We all make mistakes.” Easily. I forgave him just as easily as I’d have forgiven you, if you had only let me.

Morpheus stares at him. “Yes. We do.” His mouth twists a little. “Some more than most, I would say.”

“Maybe. But people are almost always better than you’d think. Mistakes and all.”

“Ever the optimist.”

Hob presses his lips together in a smile. “Ever the cynic.”

“Go, Hob,” says Morpheus. “You’ll be late.”

He goes. It’s a beautiful day to meet his stranger. How can it feel like his heart is breaking, only now, only after everything, on the threshold of happiness?

[carries-corn-syrup]

i’m gonna take fandom fanfic requests. under the cut is the first chapter of a fanfic i’m writing, so you get an idea of what you might be getting!

what i’ll write for:

1. dead rising

2. slasher/horror films (none on my blacklist, request-based)

3. american horror story (i wont write x readers)

4. five nights at freddy’s

you can also ask about me looking into fandoms!

Cecil Hargrove. Not a particularly remarkable person in the least. Prone to nosebleeds and seizures, just barely holding on to life. Cecil was strong, somehow. His parents always knew that. Strong how? Nobody really knew. Not even his family.

The house they lived at was unremarkable as well. Ranch house, 3 bed, 2 bath. Cecil had a brother, Samson, who didn’t seem to care about anyone except himself. Their aunt, Dannie Sue (her real name was Danielle), had just given the family reservations to the resort she worked at as a caretaker.

“More like janitor,” Samson snorted when Dannie first gave them the envelopes with their reservations. The key card was in mom’s envelope, obviously. A 17-year-old boy and his 12-year-old brother can’t take care of a card by themselves. Dannie was indeed a pushover, so she got great rooms for her sister. A suite, actually. Poor old Dannie, with her downturned eyes and dark hair that never bothered to grow past her shoulders. Brave Cecil, who clung to life and wouldn’t let go. Stupid Zinnia Hargrove, who accepted Dannie Sue’s request.

The road is unforgiving in Colorado. Any resident will tell you as much. The road in Colorado in winter? A different, worse story. Zinnia maneuvered the van through the icy roads, being extra careful with Cecil’s wheelchair in the back. Cecil was ambulatory some days, but most days his disorder would make it hard to walk or move on any given day. Chronic pain, hot flashes, nosebleeds. The doctors couldn’t really identify it. They said it was epilepsy. Old people in the park seemed to talk to him, ask him what his favorite dinosaur is, without moving their mouths. Cecil loved dinosaurs. He always did.

Magnus Chapman got ready for his shift as he always did. That goofy little white jumpsuit he always wore, stained by grease and his blood. He really put everything he had into this job. A simple, tedious job: keep the commercial-grade convection heater (better known as a “boiler”) from exploding. Apparently some vandal back in 2019 made headlines by doing the opposite. It had made strange sounds to Magnus a few times, but he always kept the boiler in check.

Until now.

Check, adjust, calibrate, repeat. He did it all day every day. Magnus forgot to calibrate today. He forgot to adjust. Then, he forgot to check. Once the blonde returned from his lunch break, the boiler did exactly what he’d been preventing it from doing. The force of the blast knocked him unconscious. Right?

He woke up in the staff room with an ice pack on his head. One of the workers, a guy his age by name of TJ, was standing over him.

“You, uh.. you fell real hard. Feel ok?”

“Yeah, I’m… i’m fine,” Magnus returned the gesture, setting a hand over one of TJ’s. They’d built a rapport since then, awkward exchanges and drunken chats at staff parties. TJ was a janitor, but had a habit of not really doing his job. He was a somewhat anxious guy, always on-edge despite his face often saying otherwise. TJ worried. He felt something, like a radio tuning to a station that played something evil. He felt a disturbance.

It was back.

Good God. By it, TJ’s frantic mind obviously meant the Overlook. Where he died. Where he couldn’t leave. Poor Magnus. He didn’t know TJ was dead. He didn’t even know he was dead. Sweet, innocent Magnus. Unmarried, died at 39. His lip nearly quivered at that. He snapped himself out of it. They were good friends. Colleagues. He can pity a colleague. He can pity a friend.

“Uh, TJ?” Magnus’s voice racked him out of his panic.

“What?”

“The forks… the forks are floating,” Magnus responded, pointing at the ceiling. He seemed almost unphased by this. TJ looked up and, surprise, the forks were indeed levitating, their tines brushing the ceiling. He blinked a few times. They all came crashing down, the sound grating on his sensitive ears.

A silent beat between the two of them. Hesitation? Tension? TJ’s mind wandered, worried, panicked.

“Wanna go.. forget about that?” Magnus asked TJ, obviously referring to getting a drink.

“I’ve been sober for years, Mag,” TJ responded flatly.

“That being said, I’d be alright with a cigarette and a good chat out on the back stair.”

[horrormaestro-aaa]

wow ,  just  wow.        as  of  october  7th ,  2020  it  has  officially  been   one  year   since  i  launched  jackie’s  original  blog.  now ,  her  concept  as  a  whole  began  much ,  much  earlier.  july  23rd ,  2019  to  be  exact.  i  knew  i  wanted  to  delve  into  the  world  of  stephen  king ,  i  knew  that  i  wanted  to  do  something  different ,  i  knew  that  i  wanted  to  take  a  novel  that  i’d  always  loved  with  characters  i  always  loved ,  &  give  them  life  through  someone  else’s  story.  ariel  “ jackie ”  torrance  was  the  product  of  that.  i   did  not   ever  think  i’d  get  off  the  ground  with  her ,  as  she’s  a  female  original  character  &  the  rpc  can  be . . .  well ,  the  rpc.  but  thanks  to  some  pretty  awesome  people ,  she’s  taken  on  such  a  life  of  her  own  with  eight  original  arcs  spanning  four  decades  of  her  life.  she  has  such  a  detailed  biography  that  only  writing  out   five   of  those  has  the  word  count  at  just  over  6,000  words.

she’s  truly  my  favorite  brainchild  out  of  writing  for  twelve  years  &  i’ve  met  so  many  amazing  people  while  writing  her.  so  many  amazing  people  that  have  pushed  me  to  go  farther  when  i  was  ready  to  throw  in  the  towel  on  her.  i  don’t  know  that  she  &  this  blog  would  be  around  today  had  it  not  been  for  the  lovely  beans  i’ve  met  along  the  way  &  continue  to  express  their  admiration  for  her  character.  so  i  wanted  to  make  this  post  as  a   thank  you.   thank  you  for  listening  to  my  3  am  rambles  about  the  tiniest  headcanons.  thank  you  for  enabling  her  impulsive  &  reckless  behavior  at  times  so  that  she  has  to  be  put  in  uncomfortable  situations  to  grow.  thank  you  for  always  believing  in  me  &  my  ability  to  tell  a  story  even  when  life  has  thrown  me  the   wildest   of  curveballs  &  i  don’t  get  to  be  as  active  as  i  once  was.

i’m  going  to  give  a  couple  of  little  shoutouts  below  the  cut ,  &  then  in  no  particular  order  i’d  like  to  thank  some  of  the  people  who  have  been  by  my  side  since  jackie’s  beginning.  if  you  aren’t  listed  because  we’re  recently  mutuals  /  friends ,   please  don’t  take  offense.  i  adore  you  all  &  it’s  such  a  pleasure  to  see  you  &  write  with  you ,  but  as  a  huge  milestone  in  her  creation  &  growth ,  i’d  like  to  give  credit  to  those  who  helped  keep  jackie  around  for  you  to  meet  her.

first ,  to  the  dan  to  my  jackie ,  the  steve  to  my  bucky ,  my  loveliest  virgo  wife :   annie ,  you  have   always   been  there  to  encourage  me  to  push  boundaries  with  her ,  push  her  out  of  her  comfort  zone.  get  inventive  &  creative ,  to  develop  npcs  with  such  depth  that  could  have  lives  of  their  own  too.  when  i  told  you  about  jackie  as  a  mere  concept ,  you  didn’t  hesitate  to  make  a  blog  for  dan.  you’ve  helped  me  strengthen  the  bond  between  jackie  &  the  only  family  she  ever  needs.  you’ve  helped  me  give  her  such  fantastically  deep  flaws  within  her  torrance  genes ,  but  a  relationship  with  her  cousin  that  allows  her  to  be  seen  as  more  than  a   “ mary  sue ”   relative  oc.  your  love  of  stephen  king  reignited  my  own  burning  flame  &  i  love  you  so ,  so  much.  trust  when  traveling  is  safer ,  i’m  cashing  in  those  flight  vouchers.  we   will   go  ask  mr.  king  about  dan’s  true  timeline.  bet.      //      @neverreallyend ,  @prouddov ,  @descriptionbegins ,  @spiritsfound

next ,  someone  i’ve  known  for  going  on  four  years  now.  my  softest  bean  &  the  other  1/3  of  the  triple  virgos ,  joey :   even  when  you  weren’t  on  tumblr ,  you’d  always  love  jackie.  like ,  writing  on  discord ?  just  even  listening  to  my  rambling  about  her ?  chef  kiss.  you’ve  been  alongside  annie  where  when  i  wanted  to  give  up  on  her  or  shit  got  rough  with  anything ,  you  had  my  back.  you  supported  me  on  this  journey  &  always  encouraged  ultimate  creativity.  i  cannot  thank  you  enough  for  that  or  just  the  friendship  you’ve  honored  me  with.      //      @notdoriangray

another  person  i’ve  known  for  four  years ,  but  arguably  has  enabled  most  of  the  dumbest  shit  jackie  has  gotten  herself  into.  my  chaotic  fire  sign  partner  in  crime ,  holly :   bro.  you’re  literally  one  of  the  hardest  working  people  i’ve  ever  met ,  &  because  of  that ,  there’s  been  times  where  we  don’t  talk  as  much  or  as  often.  but  we  always  stay  in  contact  no  matter  what.  when  i  spout  off  random  ass  ideas  or  come  to  tell  you  what  dramatic  or  thotty  shit  jackie’s  gotten  herself  into  this  time ,  you  tell  me  to  spill  the  tea.  but  it’s  also  gotten  me  into  personal  peril ,  toxic  friendships  that  you  could  see  through  &  help  me  be  a  better  person  in  the  end  for.  &  you   always   build  jackie  up  when  i  feel  insecure.  if  that’s  not  a  real  one ,  idk  what  is  dudeski ,  but  i  love  you !      //      @desireforged ,  @createdestino ,  @sharpsensations

my  significant  annoyance ,  cas :   you  were  100%  jackie’s  first  ship.  well ,  isaac  was.  you  get  it.  i  didn’t  expect  anyone  to  want  to  ship  with  her ,  let  alone  develop  something  over  a  year  in  the  making.  it’s  insane  to  me  how  loyal  you  are  both  as  a  friend  &  jackie  supporter.  i  can  tell  you  the  dumbest  shit  about  her  &  all  you  do  is  acknowledge  how  dumb  it  is  but  then  also  support  her.  i  think   i  love  her [ jackie ]   has  become  your  catchphrase  at  this  point.  but  her  connections  to  isaac  &  bruce  have  helped  me  establish  her  comfort  in  romantic  relationships  so ,  so ,  so  much.  you  have  no  idea.  it  leaves  me  shooketh  how  much  i  adore  you  &  everything  you’ve  done  to  help  keep  jackie��s  muse  alive.      //      @scarfwere ,  @milletant

fellow  non – binary  taika  waititi  lovebot ,  pantu :   what  started  as  me  geeking  over  how  well  thought  out  &  conceptualized  tj  is  &  how  astounded  i  was  at  the  originality  has  turned  into  the  most  excellent  of  friendships.  you’re  so  fucking  talented  both  with  writing  &  in  general   ( elizabeth  schuyler  is  that  u ? )  &  i’m  so  thankful  to  call  you  my  friend.  along  with  friendship  re :  jackie  &  tj ,  you’ve  helped  me  establish  another  sense  of  how  jackie  might  respond  to  romantic  intimacy  with  kc.  someone  who  is  something  more  than  temporary.  &  the  plot  we  have  with  @multides  in  her  it  verse ?  you  &  ash  both  with  eddie  &  danny  have  made  me  fall  so  in  love  with  how  jackie  sees  a  child  with  shit  parents  &  instinctively  wants  to  protect  them.  wants  to  guard  them  with  her  life.  it’s  yet  another  dimension  to  her  that  i  couldn’t  have  discovered  without  you  &  ash.  thank  you ,  babes.      //      @glittervcins ,  @inmarcesiblcs

&  now  for  everyone  else  who  has  always  me  feel  so  fucking  great  on  any  of  the  blogs  i’ve  had  jackie  on.  the  ones  that  are  no  doubt  a  reason  she’s  still  here  today  &  the  ones  who  make  me  so  damn  happy  she  is.  again ,  this  is  in  no  particular  order  &  if  we’re  newly  mutuals  please  don’t  take  offense  to  not  being  on  here.  also ,  if  you  have  more  than  one  blog  i’ve  only  listed  one.

@clownwork   //   @familiartm   //   @fuckingvictus   //   @multides   //   @thunderbringer   //   @dukecrocker   //   @troubldtwn   //   @dyingbrced   //   @snowbrn   //   @lustsfcrlife   //   @scribedhorror   //   @killedminds   //   @stapcs   //   @storiescrafted   //   @agtwarren   //   @starlyht   //   @kxngslxyer

[rosedavid]

For ur asks 11 in Angst for tyrus (ps I love ur writing sm☹️❤️)

11.  "What happened back there? I promise, you can tell me."

thank you!!

...

Graduation night. The night that seniors have been waiting for since the first day of high school, the night that makes all the studying and testing pay off. After four long years of academic prison, forced to follow a strict curriculum and be watched over like toddlers, they’re finally free to live their lives however they choose. For most people, graduation is a breath of fresh air in a world full of water, a chance to set yourself on any path you choose. A path of possibility, of wonder, of hope. For a long time, Cyrus felt himself yearning to start his long journey along this path, filled with optimism and excitement for the future after high school. 

But then graduation came, when everything hit him at full force, and it happened at the worst possible time. 

Standing up in front of his classmates, a microphone to his lips, Cyrus opens his mouth. The crowd below him is a wave of black gowns and caps, of smiling faces that he’s come to know and love. The audience of proud parents are beaming behind them, and Cyrus knows his own parents are also in the mix. With him on stage stand the principle of the school along with the president of the school board. The band has stopped their playing, sitting to listen with the others. Among the students, Buffy, Jonah, and TJ smile up at him as they wait to hear the speech he’s prepared for almost all his life. 

No words come. An intense rush of fear overcomes him, but it’s not from stage fright. It’s a realization, something that he never even had time to consider before. This, this night, is the last time that things will be like this. The last time he’ll see his classmates all together, the last moments of him being a high schooler, the last moments of certainty. And, for once, Cyrus is terrified of what the future holds. Because unlike the past and present, the future is unknown. Things will change, and it might not be for the better. No more days of his parents waking him up for school. No more walking home with TJ. No more lunch shenanigan's in the cafeteria. No more studying with Buffy on the weekends, or staying up late with Andi. No more helping Jonah at band practice or cheering TJ and Buffy on at their basket-ball games. After tonight, everything will be different. 

Only a croak comes out of his throat. If there was anytime not to have a crisis, it’s right then, but obviously Cyrus’s mind doesn’t care. He can’t bring himself to speak, to move, to think. The crowd becomes a blur. But he’s valedictorian, he has to say something. So, he does it. It’s not what he prepared, just a few words of encouragement that sound more robotic than anything. In fact, he couldn’t tell you one word he uttered up there. Then, only minutes later, he stumbles off stage, sweating and shaking. He knows that the students are starting to walk across the stage now, but Cyrus can’t bring himself to get up. He collapses at the back of the stage, where no one can see him. If that speech was any indication of his future, then he’s in big trouble. 

“Cyrus?” a voice whispers, hand now touching his shoulder. 

Frowning, Cyrus lifts his head up from where it was clutched in his hands. TJ is kneeling beside him, black gown dragging all over the grass. 

"What happened back there?” TJ asks worriedly. “I promise, you can tell me." 

“You should be with the others waiting in line to get your diploma,” Cyrus replies with a sniffle. He didn’t even notice the tears until he spoke. 

“It’s not even our real diplomas we’re getting now, just the case, so who cares?” 

Cyrus chuckles, swiping under his eyes. Behind them, they can hear the loud voice of the person reading out the names combined with the roar from the audience. 

“I feel like such a baby, Teej,” Cyrus admits, leaning his head against the other boy’s shoulder. 

“What are you talking about?”

“I didn’t even comprehend it until I got up on that stage...” Cyrus whispers. “That after this, everything will change, and I’m terrified.”

TJ wraps an arm around Cyrus’s shoulder, tugging him firmly into his side. He presses a kiss to the side of Cyrus’s head, causing both of their hats to get crooked. “Hey, I totally get it. I’m scared too, you know? Change is scary, Cy, for everyone. But even though change comes with fear, it also comes with hopes and possibilities. Think, if I never changed, we never would have become friends even. Change can suck, too. It can bring things you don’t want, but it can also bring the most amazing things that never would have been possible before.”

Cyrus sniffles again, clutching TJ’s arm. “How did you get so wise?”

“You, Underdog, duh. You’re the one who helped make me who I am today.”

TJ unwraps his arm from around Cyrus to swipe Cyrus’s tears away with the pad of his thumb. “And no matter what changes, you’ll always have us, okay? Me, your friends, your family. We’re here for you.”

Cyrus smiles softly, pulling TJ into a hug. TJ rubs soothing circles on Cyrus’s back as they lean into each other, robes definitely all wrinkled and stained by now. 

“I love you, TJ,” Cyrus says into his ear. 

“I love you too, Cyr--” TJ begins, but the announcer cuts him off on stage with the same exact name. 

“Cyrus Goodman!” 

Cyrus pulls back, making eye contact with TJ. TJ gives him an encouraging nod, urging him to go onstage. “I’ll still be here when graduation’s over. Well, not at this exact spot, but--”

A peck on his lips silences him. “Thank you.”

TJ rushes back to his seat just in time to see a ruffled, grass stained Cyrus take his diploma with a grin sealed on his face. They look at each other, knowing that no matter what the future may hold, they can get through it. Together.

[ashleyspinelliburnbook]

S1E7: I Will Kick No More Forever/The Kid Came Back

It was bound to happen eventually, but these two were...not as good as the others? I don’t know, y’all. I didn’t feel fulfilled or inspired watching this pair of episodes. But I tried...for one of them, anyway.

I Will Kick No More Forever

Well, okay, there was one inspiring thing. Gretchen and Gus doing commentary for the kickball games made me think they should probably do a podcast together. So here’s a sports podcast that happens to be about the plot of this episode!

(I’m just going to write this all at once and see what happens. I have only ever written TV scripts, so I’m just winging it. Forgive me.)

GRETCHEN: I’m Gretchen Grundler.

GUS: And I’m Gus Griswald.

GRETCHEN: And this is “I am in Sports.”

[theme music]

[theme music fades]

[nat sound: kickball noises]

GRETCHEN: Kickball. Or as it’s known in most of Canada, “soccer baseball.” A sport of humble origins, and today, one of the most popular recess games in the United States.

GUS: You might not know all the names of some of the great kickballers in the storied history of the sport, but today, we’d like to introduce you to one in particular who took the playground by storm.

[nat sound fades]

ANNOUNCER (SOT): “Here comes Vince ‘The Foot’ LaSalle!”

ANNOUNCER 2 (SOT): “Kicks lefty, throws righty...”

ANNOUNCER 3 (SOT): “And that ball’s not coming back! A home run!”

ANNOUNCER 4 (SOT): “The undisputed, single greatest kicker that Third Street School has ever seen.”

GRETCHEN: Vince LaSalle. A fourth-grader in name only, he made everyone from kindergarteners to sixth-graders quiver in their kickball shoes whenever he stepped up to the plate.

GUS: His trajectory was storied. He was the only known kindergartener in Third Street School history to be invited to play with the first-grade kickball team, and by second grade, he was challenging sixth-graders to play.

GRETCHEN: This confidence was impressive. Inspiring, even. But it wasn’t meant to last.

VINCE (SOT): “Okay, everyone! Outfield in!”

GRETCHEN: It was a regular Tuesday, bottom of the ninth inning. Recess would be over in about two minutes. Ashley Q. was at the plate, fresh off a phone call, and Vince made the call to bring the outfield in.

GUS: It would be the last time anyone on the playground would trust him for a long time.

ANNOUNCER 5 (SOT): “That ball is up! And up! And up! Good golly, that ball is gone! It’s out of this world! Ashley Q., ladies and gentlemen!”

- SOT -

VINCE (on phone): “It was...horrible.”

GUS: “Horrible?”

VINCE: “When you make a call like that, bringing the outfield in, bringing everyone in, you don’t...that’s not what’s supposed to happen.”

GUS: “What is supposed to happen?”

VINCE: “Well, the opposite of that.”

- END SOT -

GRETCHEN: The next day, Third Street School received a long distance call — very long-distance. This call was from a busy street in Beijing, China.

PRINCIPAL PRICKLY (SOT, on phone): “They said they found our ball. I was like, what? What ball? And the man on the phone explained, you know, your ball. It says your school’s name right here.”

GRETCHEN: Ashley Q. had recorded the longest kick the school had ever seen. And Vince? Well, he didn’t take it so well.

- SOT -

VINCE (on phone): “I just started whiffing.”

GUS: “Whiffing?”

VINCE: “Everything. Just, missing everything. The next game, you know, the ball would be rolled to me just like usual. Kicked it right back into the pitcher’s hands. Kicked it foul. Missed it entirely.”

GUS: “What about after that game?”

VINCE: [sighs] “You know what’s worse than being picked last?”

GUS: “Not really. I’m picked last a lot.”

VINCE: “Have you ever not been picked at all?”

GUS: “Wow, no. How did that make you feel?”

VINCE: [laughs] “Well, after that, I left the sport.”

- END SOT -

[brooding music]

VINCE (SOT): “I am announcing my retirement from kickball. I will kick no more, forever.”

[brooding music fades]

GRETCHEN: Vince was distraught. Even though he was sure in his decision to leave the sport he loved, he didn’t take the transition well.

GUS: We visited him after school one day — a day he’d missed, we weren’t sure why — and found him in front of the TV, drinking root beer and eating doughnuts. It wasn’t pretty.

GRETCHEN: He kept repeating something, we didn’t know what at first. We tried to ask him to speak more slowly, articulate, enunciate. And then Gus finally figured it out.

GUS: “I was outkicked by an Ashley.” Over and over again. Just...gut punch.

[SFX - EXPLOSION]

- SOT -

GRETCHEN: “So we are...in my bedroom right now. Me, Gus, TJ, everyone. And I just showed them [crash in background] — Guys, what was that?”

TJ: “Sorry. Lost control of the Flubber again.”

GRETCHEN: “Glorp. It’s called glorp.”

TJ: “Yeah, whatever it is, it’s awesome. This should do the trick.”

- END SOT -

GUS: It was supposed to be a science fair project, right?

GRETCHEN: Yes, it was one of my attempts to invent a substance to replace liquid soap. But what I got instead was a bouncy...well...glorp.

GUS: And remind me what the plan was?

GRETCHEN: The plan was to create a diversion and switch out the kickball with the glorp ball. It’s much easier to kick, and it goes a lot farther. We just wanted to give Vince his confidence back, even if we had to bend the truth a little to do it.

GUS: My job was to switch the ball after Mikey and TJ created the diversion, from the kickball to the glorp ball.

[spy music]

- SOT -

MIKEY: “My foot! My foot!”

TJ: “Mikey! Are you okay? Can you play?”

MIKEY: “No! But if I don’t play, you’ll have to forfeit!”

TJ: “I’m sure there’s someone else we can use.”

- END SOT -

[spy music fade]

GRETCHEN: [laughing] Okay, it was a bad plan. It was not the best plan. But it worked.

ANNOUNCER 6 (SOT): “What’s this? Vince LaSalle, disgraced kickballer, appears to be coming out of retirement to replace the injured Mikey!”

TJ (SOT, on phone): “I was just trying to tell him, like, ‘If you don’t kick, we’ll lose the game,’ and he goes, ‘Yeah, well, get used to it.’ And I go, ‘Well, the only thing that makes you a loser is not trying.’ And it did the trick.”

ANNOUNCER 6 (SOT, CONT.): “He’s kicking righty today, maybe a revamped routine to make this try at his career go a little better, and...Oh my! Oh my word! That ball is gone! It’s in the stratosphere! It’s past the stratosphere! Where is that ball! No one knows, but Vince LaSalle has done it! He’s won the game!”

GRETCHEN: Here’s the thing. We all felt incredibly guilty after the fact. Because it was just the glorp ball. It wasn’t Vince. And still, we couldn’t tell him. But then it turned out we didn’t have to tell him.

GUS: I remember this moment so well. I was running back from the bathroom, wondering why the game was over.

GRETCHEN: And we were wondering why you were out of breath. You weren’t the one who had just kicked the ball into parts unknown. But then we learned the reason was...

GUS: I didn’t make the switch. I went to the bathroom, left the glorp ball outside, and when I came back, it was gone.

GRETCHEN: Vince had done it all on his own. His confidence was real.

[SOT - “Vince! Vince! Vince!”]

GRETCHEN: The world’s greatest kickballer was back in business.

[fade SOT]

[theme music]

- SOT -

[phone rings]

PRINCIPAL PRICKLY: “Hello?”

HAROLD STEVENS: “Hey, Principal Prickly, this is Harold Stevens at NASA. Look, I just wanted to reach out and say we won’t be charging you for the damage because this seems like a once-in-a-lifetime thing.”

PRICKLY: “Excuse me? Damage? What did those kids get up to this time?”

STEVENS: “Oh, well, the kickball dent on the space shuttle. It won’t be a problem.”

PRICKLY: “What?”

[click]

- END SOT -

[theme music fades]

Takeaway: I need a Gus and Gretchen podcast YESTERDAY.

The Kid Came Back

Look, everyone. The previous recap was so long, and I don’t want to overshadow it by going too deep into this one. This episode was just...a baby thriller, you know what I mean? All the elements of a creepy story tailor-made for kids, but absolutely no payoff. It was an insult, frankly.

In short, a kid no one has seen before starts following the gang around, and bad things start happening to them. They decide it’s because of the kid, so they tell him to buzz off, and he starts crying. The gang’s takeaway is that, oops, our bad luck wasn’t caused by this kid! And so they go apologize, and then they learn he has other friends anyway. The lesson is not to tell kids to buzz off...or so we thought, until another mysterious girl shows up at the very end and the gang runs away from her immediately so as to not engage. We never learn what’s causing their bad luck.

Just...skip this one. I hope the next one is better and that we’re not rolling down an infinitely long hill. Who haven’t we checked in with in a while? Have we had a TJ-centered episode yet? I’d be fine with that.

Takeaway: I need to tighten up my scriptwriting so I don’t run out of steam before even getting the chance to make fun of a bad episode, lol.

[lovinmullen]

Tyrus Soulmate AU:                  I Don’t Know a Tyler??

Special shout out to my love, my happiness, my best friend @wanna-feel-alive for editing and improving this fic greatly !! I love you so god damn much Mackenzie, thank you for your help and your talent blessing my fic sksks !!!!

(the amount of editing she did shes basically  a co-writer so give her some love)

Summary: On Cyrus’ 16th Birthday he is so tremendously excited to receive his soul mark but when he is greeted with the name Tyler on his collar bone and not TJ like he expected, a number of emotions arise until TJ agrees to help Cyrus solve the mystery of who in fact this Tyler could be.

word count: 1900. // OKAY I KNOW SHES THICC BUT ITS WORTH IT I PROMISE XOXOXO

———————————- <3

Cyrus’ eyes fluttered open softly as his heart began to race. He shot up to the memory of what today was, it was the day of his 16th birthday, the day he would get his soul mark. Excitement ran through his whole body as he thought about whose name would be printed softly on his collar bone.

The brunet was the youngest of his friend group which meant all his friends got their soul mark before him. Marty had Buffy, Amber had Andi, Walker had Jonah, and TJ, well no one knew TJ’s soulmate except for his siblings, Amber and Marty. TJ had sworn them to secrecy. Cyrus didn't understand but he didn't question it for he knew all too well that if Teej wanted him to know he would tell him, they are best friends after all.

Cy shook the thought away as the morning fuzziness, which had concealed his sight, finally started to wear off as he reached for the neck of his top in an effort to quickly reveal the name but just as he was about to do so he got rudely interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Honey, TJ is here!” Leslie called sweetly. Maybe the interruption wasn't so rude after all, Cyrus thought. Suddenly the brightest smile was forming on the younger boys face as the dirty blond ran in screaming “HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNDERDOG!!” while he jumped onto the bed playfully so he could be close enough to ruffle the other boy's hair.

“I know it's not a lot but I had to get my lil’ muffin man something am I right?” The athlete laughed out timidly, his once playful demeanour now morphing into a tense/awkward one as he moved himself to sit beside Cyrus.

Cy carefully lifted the lid of the box to be greeted with a glistening gold necklace with a simple yet beautiful Star of David resting on the bottom of the chain. Cyrus’ smile grew even wider as he leapt onto his amazingly supportive friend, engulfing him in a hug thanking him repeatedly.

“No need to thank me Muffin, what are best friends for,” a soft smile started to tug at the corner of TJ's lips as he continued “hey have you checked your soul mark yet?” Cyrus’ eyes widened as an excited look spread across his whole face, slowly he reached for his shirt once again but before he could continue, fear took over him so he decided to close his eyes as he pulled it down slightly.

“Teej, you read it, I can’t. I don't want to. I-” TJ cut him off by giggling as he read with a knowing smirk.

“Tyler” , Cyrus’ brows furrowed as he opened his eyes confusion overtaking his whole body.

“Tyler? Who is Tyler?” The shorter boy moaned out in confusion. “I don't know a Tyler?” Teej’s whole body tensed and he didn't know if it was from excitement or fear, he hadn't decided yet but whatever it was, it was definitely there. Suddenly a little giggle escaped TJ’s lips as his hand brushed over Cyrus’ collar bone, while he whispered “Underdog” solemnly to himself, causing him to come to the educated conclusion it was excitement.

This, however, did not go unnoticed by Cyrus, whose eyes snapped over to TJ but before he could question anything the dirty blond basketball player laughed again, followed by him saying “We should get breakfast Muffin, after all, you can’t figure out mysteries on an empty stomach! Get ready and changed for school. I can take you to a bakery on the way if you’d like?”

With confusion overwhelming him, all Cyrus could do was simply nod but for TJ, that was good enough because he was already running out the door and downstairs. Sleepily and still very much confused he pulled on some pale blue skinny jeans his new necklace from TJ and the taller boys oversized black hoodie. Cyrus wasn’t sure why it was in his room, nor when or how it got there, but he knew the comforting smell of the athlete would calm him down. After all, with all this confusion and disappointment regarding his soul mark reading Tyler and not TJ liked he hoped, he was going to need his best friend and current crushes hoodie more than ever.

In the Jewish boy's sleepy state he pulled the jumper over his head to be greeted with the fact that he had placed it on backwards. Sighing as he goes to turn it around, Cyrus is stopped dead in his tracks as he is met with an old washed out label. He giggled to himself as he thought maybe now he can finally learn TJ’s full name! He examined the fabric again and again but he was just too tired to try and decode not only the messy handwriting but also how light it was. Little did he know if only he spent a few more seconds studying the name he could have realised that Tyler was a lot closer to home than he thought.

“Underdog come on we’re going to be late at this rate!” TJ called up the stairs, Cyrus takes that as his cue to stop daydreaming so he begins to walk down the stairs.

“You look fucking adorable.” TJ greeted Cyrus as soon as he was down the stairs.

“Thanks, it's a new jumper.” Cyrus flirtatiously replied with a wink. Where on earth was this confidence coming from? He wondered as he headed towards TJ’s car. After wishing his mother goodbye and a good day he was trying to keep the eye contact, or anything, with TJ to a minimum now that his confident streak had disappeared and he reminds himself that there's no point, TJ already knows his soulmate and he is probably 100 times better than Cyrus. Maybe he should just focus on Tyler and maybe, just maybe, admit and realise it’s time to move on.

-

As TJ and Cyrus walk through the doors into school, side by side it isn't long until they get bombarded by the group. Cyrus is having birthday wishes thrown at him alongside everyone asking about his soul mark. He doesn't understand why everyone is so interested and quite frankly they shouldn't be because he doesn't want to talk about it. In a heated moment of annoyance, he ignores them all, pushing through them abruptly and harshly in order to get to his locker.

Buffy and Andi’s face’s immediately fall, simultaneously shooting death stares at TJ, before heading to Cy’s locker.

“Cy, what's up?” Buffy asks softly, almost as if she was any louder, he would break.

“Please talk to us Cyrus, maybe we can help.” Andi reasons, Cyrus just sighs as he feels tears welling up in his eyes.

“It's not TJ, the soul mark its not TJ.” He whispers softly, his voice cracking slightly in the middle. Salty tears start to stream down his rough skin as he carries on. “I know this is stupid, I know I shouldn't be crying, but I wanted it to be him so bad and I-”

“Hey, Underdog what's going o- Wait, holy shit you’re crying what's up?” TJ interrupted his voice flooding with worry.

“You two need to talk” Buffy says calmly with a slight smile on her face. How is she smiling? Why is she smiling? Does she know something I don’t? Cyrus thought, his head flooding with confusion making him all the more angry. TJ could sense this so he perks up.

“That's an amazing idea, Buffy! Cy put your bag in your locker, I’m taking you to the swings. Let's go!” TJ said, his voice dripping with excitement.

“No, schools starting in ten minutes, he can’t do that!” Andi states angrily, looking at Buffy for support. TJ rolls his eyes at her.

“Hey, don't tell him what he can’t do. For your information Muffin and I have study period first so it doesn't matter if “school starts in 10 minutes”. Cyrus is upset and we’re gonna fix that no matter the time.” TJ stops to look around and then his smile widens when he locks eyes with Amber.

“Cover for us will ya sissy?” He pleads with puppy dog eyes. Those god damn puppy eyes, Cy thought.

“What am I supposed to tell them?” Amber asks, clearly exasperated.

“I don't know? Say Cyrus ran into a glass door and he's down at medical or something?”

“Wow, that one hit close to home.” Cyrus stated while giggling.

“Well, I had to make it believable didn't I Underdog?” TJ playfully asked, a lazy smirk covering his face.

The boys laughed and Cyrus started to wipe away the tears from his face as he calmed down. Suddenly though, Cyrus’ hand felt weighted, confusion flooding his thoughts he looked down to see TJ’s hand, interlocked with his own.

“Come on, we’re going to the swings!!”

-

Ten minutes had gone by of the boys just sitting there in comfortable yet awkward under toned silence. It was TJ who broke the silence by grabbing Cyrus’ hand and saying without turning to look at him, not being able to bare the thought of looking into his eyes.

“Did I ever tell you my real name?” He whispered, before hastily continuing on, “what it stands for, I mean.” He could see out of the corner of his eye, Cyrus reluctantly shaking his head.

“Tyler.” He said while smiling, “Tyler Joseph Kippen.”

Cyrus got up from the swing so he was able to stand in front of TJ and he bent down onto his knees while placing his finger under TJ’s chin to lift his head up softly.

“So my soulmate, the name Tyler on my collar bone, that correlates to you?” As confirmation, TJ nods as he pulls down the hem of his shirt to reveal in the most beautiful cursive writing “Cyrus”.

Cyrus’ whole face lights up with joy as he pulls TJ in for a hug.

“Can I kiss you?” Cyrus asks, hopeful and excited yet timid. TJ nods his head so hard Cy is surprised he didn't get whiplash.

“plEASE!” TJ begs as his voice cracks.

“You fucking dork!” Cyrus calls out before closing the gap between their lips. The kiss is short but sweet. pure and wonderful, filled with longing and desire. Cyrus starts to giggle and smile widely into the kiss, causing TJ to pull away in confusion.

“What so funny?” TJ huffs out, but all he was greeted with was Cy mimicking his early voice break.

“pLEaSe!!” Cyrus said, giggling at his over exaggeration of TJ’s voice.

“Oi.” He replies sarcastically “I think I deserve another kiss to make up for this bULLYING!!” TJ says playfully, a pout gracing his lips.

“God, you really are a dork.” Cyrus laughs softly kissing his soulmate again.

_____

Let's just say when the boys headed to second-period hand in hand, there were no more tears but there was a very concerned English teacher.

“Cyrus?? Oh, thank God you’re here, I heard you ran into a glass door and I’ve been worried sick! Are you okay? Are you bleeding? Are you feeling better now?”

“Amber” Cyrus mumbles as he begins laughing uncontrollably...

“I told you it was a believable excuse” TJ whispered lovingly, giggling in his ear.

“Yes miss, I’m okay.” Cyrus turns to look at TJ before continuing, “more than okay.”

-------------------------------- <3

hey guys !!! I hope you all enjoyed it. I was forced to post this by my am gc after I shared the idea. once again thank you so much, so so much to my favourite person who helped to edit this !!!!

here's the tag list???? (the people in my group who wanted a tag sksk) here you go, Merry Christmas

@judgemental-llama  @tyrus-is-endgame-fight-me @emmy2024riggs @a-bittersweet-gal  @cxrus-kippen

[sunshinejins]

from a to z, you and me

chapter two!  i got so many lovely comments after chapter one and i got so excited and wrote this as quickly as i could :)

Age 12 / Age 13

Cyrus,

Today in class we learned about women’s suffrage.  I was so shocked when I learned that women didn’t always get to vote.  Could you imagine not letting somebody do something just because of their gender?  I got so mad in class that I snapped my pencil and Reed made fun of me for it after.  I don’t think he gets it.  I’ve literally never been so angry.  

TJ

~

TJ,

That’s a completely normal reaction to hearing stories of injustice.  You can’t imagine how mad I was when I found out about slavery.  And Americans just cover it up!  Absolutely ridiculous.  Reed’s stupid for not getting that, but I feel like you already know that.  

Are you okay?

Cyrus

~

Cyrus,

I am now.  It just struck a chord with me or something.

Cy, do you ever feel weird?

TJ

~

TJ,

Yeah.  I do.

Cyrus

~

TJ Kippen is 13 years old and he thinks maybe there might be something wrong with him.  Not the fact that he can’t do math, he already knows that’s something different.  His mom took him finally last week to get tested and the doctor looked at him with pity before diagnosing him with dyscalculia.  So he can’t do math right.  That’s not news to him.  No, he’s talking about the fact that his tummy is starting to get butterflies and not for who he would expect.

He’s heard boys talk for ages about liking girls.  For God’s sake, he’s been watching Reed and Lester pull girls’ pigtails since the second grade.  He just naturally assumed that it would happen for him when he grew up.  However, when he turned 12 and still hadn’t had any feelings whatsoever for a girl, he began to suspect there was something a little more than puberty at play.

Then, one day, he had been playing basketball with a few kids in the park and a boy with fluffy brown hair and a bright smile clapped him on the shoulder as a congratulation for making a tricky layup. The butterflies that had erupted in his stomach were anything but normal. That was definitely not supposed to happen.

He can’t even talk to anyone about this.  Not Reed for sure, since he’s never even shown the slightest capability to be serious about anything.  Definitely not Lester, who hasn’t shown any emotion since he skinned his knee once in the first grade.  The only person he has left to talk to is Cyrus.

TJ loves talking to Cyrus.  They’ve been pen pals since he was in the sixth grade and they met up for real the first time the same year.  The pen pal program had ended about a month after they met, but their teachers had encouraged them to keep writing their pals if they enjoyed talking to them. Ever since, TJ has dutifully written Cyrus a letter every week and every week, Cyrus answers. Cyrus is officially his best friend. Not Reed, not Lester, but Cyrus. Every weekend he either drives up to Shadyside to visit Cyrus or he drives down to see him and they hang out for hours at a time. Just last week, Cyrus finally brought him to The Spoon where he was finally allowed to eat the ever popular baby taters. TJ was planning on bringing him to play laser tag when he came this weekend. He just doesn’t know if that will happen anymore.

He asked his mom politely if he could use the home phone for a few hours and she said yes with a grin, knowing clearly he was about to call Cyrus. He cradled the receiver with an almost reverence as he trooped back up to his room and dialed. He could feel his palms sweating against the plastic and he blindly wondered for a moment whether he actually had the guts to go through with this.

“Hello!  Goodman residence, Leslie speaking.”

“Hi, Mrs. Goodman.  It’s TJ.”

“Oh TJ!  I didn’t know you were calling today!  I’ll go grab Cyrus,” she calls for Cyrus on the other end of the phone and TJ blindly wonders why he’s doing this on a Wednesday afternoon.

“Hi, Teej!” Cyrus’ happy voice almost drowns out TJ’s panic and he finds himself smiling despite himself.

“Hey, Cy.” He leans against the wall and closes his eyes slightly when the sun gets in them.

“I didn’t think you were calling!  Oh also, I sent my letter today but I forgot to tell you that I got a new shirt for laser tag!  It has lightning bolts on it and it’s white so it should glow in the dark, and-“

“Cy, do you remember when I asked you if you felt weird?” TJ doesn’t really mean to cut him off but the words are gathering in his mouth and they’re going to fall somewhere a lot worse if he doesn’t say them to Cyrus. Cyrus is quiet for a surprised moment before answering.

“Yeah?”

“Well, I feel weird.”

“What’s wrong?” TJ feels like giggling at his tone, the four shrink parents coming out strongly in his worry.  His stomach feels too tight to laugh.

“Well. I guess…  Have you ever had a crush?” Cyrus coughs slightly.

“No...well...kinda. I dunno, it’s weird.”

“Okay, well I do. I think. ”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s so weird about that?” TJ takes a deep breath.

“It’s on a boy.” Cyrus is quiet. TJ feels like maybe he’s completely stopped breathing.

“Okay.” TJ bursts out laughing, half in incredulous tears and a half in complete relief.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. So are we still going to laser tag this weekend?” TJ wants to dance, he wants to jump on the roof and grin at the sun. He wants the entire world to know how much he appreciates Cyrus Goodman.

“For sure. I’m gonna school you though.”

“You wish!”

taglist <3:

@illbeyourreasonwhy @tyrusflavoredtea

[you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus]

Cyrus’ Dictionary

1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 || 15 || 16

Summary: Cyrus has always been good with words; there’s a reason English is his favorite subject. But with TJ, he seems to be at a loss for words. When they get paired up for a summer assignment, Cyrus slowly starts to build a new dictionary. One that involves TJ and everything they do together. Along the way, maybe he’ll find the words to tell him how he feels.

Chapter 16: Basorexia

Word Count: 3304

Read on AO3

Cyrus woke up to his head pounding. He groaned, placing a hand to his head, but all thoughts of pain seemed to melt away upon seeing TJ. He smiled to hard that it felt like his face was going to split. Carefully, as though not to wake him, he placed his hand under his jaw, sending a zip of electricity down his arm. And boy, did he really want to kiss him. He’d never felt such a strong urge before, but he was pretty sure TJ would forever spite him for having their first kiss while he was still asleep. Rolling over, he plucked his journal from the drawer, flipping to the back of the pages.

basorexia: the overwhelming desire to kiss someone

He flipped back onto his stomach, gingerly pushing TJ’s arm. “Psst, TJ,” he whispered, “it’s time to get up,”

TJ groaned in response, putting a hand over his face. “It’s too early,” he mumbled out, his words almost unintelligible.

“It’s never too early,” he whispered, resting his head on the athlete’s shoulder.

TJ smiled, eyes still shut, and reached down to try and find Cyrus’ hand, intertwining it with Cyrus’. “You remember what I do?”

Cyrus tapped his chin, pretending to think it over. “Remember what?”

TJ fluttered his eyes open, tapping Cyrus’ chest lightly. “You little shit,” he chuckled, attacking him with tickles. Cyrus’ laughter was the more beautiful sound he’d ever heard; he could listen to it forever

“And you love me for it,” Cyrus choked out, a few laughs getting caught in his throat.

“Yeah. . .I do,” TJ whispered, smiling that soft smile that was only reserved for Cyrus.

Cyrus started leaning in, his eyes fluttering shut briefly. Here it was; he was finally going to do what he’d been wanting to for such a long time. TJ was so close he could already feel his heart racing.

“What are you doing?”

TJ’s words snapped him out of his thoughts, causing his eyes to open wide, and his face to turn an embarrassing shade of red. “O-oh, uh, kissing? You? Is that not okay?”

TJ smiled, squeezing the other boy’s hand. “I wanna take you on a real date first,”

Cyrus perked up at that; it was the one thing he’d wanted more than anything. “Today?”

TJ nodded. “Today,”

Cyrus put a hand over his chest. “Maybe today can be our always,”

TJ rolled his eyes, ruffling the other boy’s hair. “I cannot believe I love this fool,” he murmured, pushing the covers off. He reached into his bag for his phone, checking it for new messages.

[andi’s girlfriend: help. mom suspects im gay. need help]

TJ felt his heart sink into his stomach, clutching his phone tightly. “Actually, can we postpone? I need to help Amber,” he admitted, turning to Cyrus with a look of upsetness.

“You’re going to go back there? What about your mom?” he asked, putting his hands on the boy’s shoulders.

“She needs me. Stay here, Cy,” he said, starting out the door.

“Wait, Teej!”

He turned back around, and Cyrus came full force at him, wrapping his arms around him. “You’re killing it as a brother,”

By the time TJ had reached the door, he was nearly out of breath, wheezing with each step. He really needed basketball season to pick up again. He could already hear the arguing before he entered the door.

“-you can’t cherry pick the Bible-”

“-do not use that tone with me, I will-”

“-you just don’t listen! Why won’t you let me explain that-”

“-there’s nothing for you to say-”

“What’s going on here?” TJ’s voice boomed above the others, garnering their attention. It was the first time he’d spoken to his mom in a while.

“This doesn’t concern you,” she snapped, crossing her arms and pacing around the kitchen.

“Actually it does,” he cut in cooly, “Amber’s my sister, and your daughter. You should love her, and me, no matter what,”

“But-”

“But nothing,” he hissed, coming up behind Amber and putting his hands on her shoulders, “there are no ‘buts’ when it comes to love,”

And with that, TJ grabbed Amber’s hand and the two of them headed out the door, shutting it with a slam. TJ didn’t have a destination in mind, he was just walking. Arm around Amber, he told her that things were going to be, that they had to be. That their mom was going to come around to it eventually. None of these things did he know were true, but he knew he needed to console Amber.

After walking absentmindedly for a little while, they found themselves at the cemetery. Both of them could pick out their dad’s gravestone without any hesitation, even if it did look just like the other ones. Mumbling something under his breath that sounded like a vague prayer, TJ let Amber through the gates, walking slowly to their dad’s gravestone.

“Hi dad,” TJ started, his voice feeling thick and strained all of a sudden, “I miss you. Things are tough at home,”

“Mom knows we’re gay,” Amber cut in, shutting her eyes, “things aren’t good. And I know you would accept us no matter what. Even when we were little and didn’t know we were gay, you were always so nice to everyone,” she remembered, a soft smile on her face.

“We need help,” TJ murmured, “please, give us a sign. Something that things are going to be okay,” he murmured, his fingers tracing all the crevices of the stone.

“I love you, dad. Miss you,” Amber choked out, pressing a kiss to her fingers, and then pressing them to the stone. Both of them lingered a moment longer, before leaving and starting to walk again. A small ladybug landed on Amber’s shoulder, but neither of them noticed it.

“Wanna go to Cyrus’ house?” he asked, to which Amber agreed. He pulled out his phone, sending Cyrus a quick text.

[Underdog <3: amber is gonna come over with me <3 <3 <3 <3]

Amber peered over his shoulder, noting the heart emojis. “Suddenly you’re all into emojis, huh,”

TJ snickered, slinging an arm around her. “Something like that,”

“But you can all stay here!” Cyrus insisted, taking Amber’s hand in his.

TJ shook his head. “I can’t ask you to do that, Cy. I’ve already overstayed my visit. I don’t think I could say thank you enough,”

Amber gave his hand a squeeze, offering a sympathetic smile. “Thank you,” she whispered.

TJ nudged Cyrus. “So much for postponing our date, huh,”

Amber snapped up, nearly hitting Cyrus as she tore away from the hug. “What?”

Cyrus chuckled, lacing TJ’s hand with his. “Oh did we not tell you? We like each other,”

“Called it! I called it, like, months ago,” she bragged, crossing her arms. Her phone buzzed, and she opened it up.

[jonah: hey do u wanna hang out?]

[Me: sure! your house?]

[jonah: yup]

“I gotta go, but you two lovebirds have fun on your date,” she smiled, giving TJ a knowing look, “tell me everything,” she insisted, walking out with a small wave.

“So about that date?” TJ asked, his eyes hopeful.

“I was thinking a picnic? It’s a really nice day,” Cyrus suggested, nodding towards the window.

“Absolutely,”

“. . .and so them we went over to Cyrus’ house, and then you texted,” she explained, leaning back against the couch. It was a little weird that she was talking to her ex-boyfriend about her girlfriend problems, but it was funny the way things worked out. She felt oddly comfortable around Jonah.

“That sucks, Amber. I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do,” he offered, crossing his legs.

Amber waved him off. “It’s not your fault. How are things with you and Walker?”

Jonah smiled sadly, pulling his knees up. “He’s on vacation right now. I miss him. We’ve been hanging out all summer, like, every single day, and now it just feels. . .empty,”

Amber gave his shoulder a light shove. “You can’t wallow in your sadness. C’mon let’s do something,”

“Like what?”

“Whatever you want. It’s your house, after all,” she pointed out.

Jonah’s lips curled into a tentative smile. “Karaoke?”

Amber’s face lit up, and she repeatedly clapped her hands. “Oh my gosh, yes!”

Jonah beamed, nodding for her to get up. “I have a machine in my basement. C’mon,” he said, leading her down there, “wait hold on,” he said, reaching up to her shoulder, “ladybug,”

Amber smiled, pressing a hand against her heart. Dad.

The two of them belted to their heart's’ content, from one hit wonders of the 90’s, to the ‘trash’ on the radio these days. Their faces hurt from smiling and laughing so much, but they wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything. It was nice to be able to escape from reality for a little while.

“Mini muffin?” Cyrus offered, leaning back against the oak tree. TJ gladly took it, shifting over by him and pressing his back against the tree.

“Did you make these?”

Cyrus scoffed. “No, I got them from the bakery,” he admitted, “but it’s the thought that counts?”

“It is,” TJ agreed, stuffing the whole thing in his mouth, “this is really nice,” he mumbled through chewing.

“Worth the wait?” Cyrus mused, taking his hand.

“Duh,”

Cyrus beamed, grabbing his journal and a pencil, flipping to the next open page and starting to write.

7/1

Today I went on a date with TJ and

“Weren’t you going to show me something in there last night?” TJ cut in, prompting Cyrus to stop writing.

“Oh,” he mumbled, embarrassed, “it’s stupid,” he muttered, shutting the journal.

“Nothing you could ever write is stupid,” TJ assured him, putting a hand over his.

Cyrus knew he wouldn’t be able to look at that smile without caving. “Okay. So, like, during the summer, I’ve been keeping track of, like, very specific words. But they’re like based on us hanging out, if that makes any sense. I’ve been keeping track of them in here,”

TJ smiled wider than he ever had. “Can I see?” he asked softly, and Cyrus pushed the journal into his hands. He flipped to the back, tracing his finger over Cyrus’ neat handwriting.

“Aga-uh, agatho-” he squinted, trying to pronounce the alphabet soup of letter that was the first word.

“Agathokakological,” Cyrus said seamlessly, peering over at the list of words, “it’s like, someone that’s made up of both good and bad,”

TJ shook his head, almost in disbelief. “That’ me to a ‘T’,” he noted, moving on to the next word, “. . .duende. Looks kinda like dude,”

Cyrus laughed, scooting a little closer to TJ. “It’s like the power of art to move a person. When you were talking about sculptures that day, I couldn’t help but notice,” he mumbled.

TJ smiled wider, if that was even possible at this point. “Nyctophilia?”

“A love of darkness and night. Remember when we went stargazing?”

TJ chuckled, taking out his phone and scrolling through his camera roll until he found the selfie he took of him and Cyrus, with the latter boy being asleep. “I think I remember,”

Cyrus shoved TJ lightly, craning his neck a little to better see the picture. “You goof,”

“You missed the shooting star that night,” TJ informed him, shutting his phone off.

“Oh? What’d you wish for?”

TJ snorted. “Take a wild guess,” he said, squeezing his hand. Cyrus ducked his head, miserably failing at hiding his blush.

“Cingulomania. . .is that some disease?” TJ wondered, to which Cyrus laughed, leaning his head on TJ’s shoulder.

“No, it’s, like, the desire to hold someone in your arms,” he explained, thinking back to the day at the laser tag arena.

“Well in that case,” TJ mumbled, snaking an arm around Cyrus’ back and pulling him close. Cyrus breathed in deeply, inhaling the vague scent of cherry chapstick on TJ’s lips.

“Nepenthe,” he continued down the list.

“Something that can make you forget grief or suffering,” Cyrus supplied, grazing his fingers over TJ’s knuckles.

“That night in the basement? The sleepover?” TJ asked, swallowing hard. He didn’t really want to tread here.

Cyrus nodded, letting out a soft sigh. “That was a nice night,”

Not the word I would have used. “Well. . .yeah, yeah, nice,”

Cyrus furrowed his brows, tilting his head up. “Something the matter?”

TJ shook his head, trying to figure out how to word this as lightly as possible. “After you left in the morning. . .my mom was saying things, like, that I shouldn’t hang out with you because. . .”

“Oh,” Cyrus mumbled, his eyes flitting down to their hands, “sorry,”

“It’s not your fault,” he assured him, “next word,” he said quickly, scanning down the list. Cyrus nodded, his hair brushing ever so lightly against TJ’s jaw.

“Philophobia,”

“Remember that day we met in the park? And we talked about Andi and Amber? You said something about being. . .afraid, I guess, of getting emotionally attached to people,”

TJ nodded, smirking. “I guess you were the one exception,”

“Aw,” Cyrus cooes, motioning for TJ to go on.

“Mam- hold on, uhm, mamiha-”

“Mamihlapinatapai,” Cyrus says with relative ease, only stumbling once, “I’m assuming you remember the day at the Spoon when we. . .”

“. . .stared off?” TJ finished, to which Cyrus nodded, “yeah, I remember that,”

“Mamihlapinatapai.  It’s like a look exchanged between people, and they both want something to happen, but nothing does,” Cyrus explained, meeting TJ’s eyes. They were so close, dangerously close. TJ quickly turned his gaze back to the journal.

“Thantophobia. Lots of phobias,” he notes, running his finger down the spine of the journal.

“That’s from. . .the day we went shopping for Christmas sweaters. The word, it’s like, like a fear of losing someone that you love,” he said softly, and TJ almost didn’t catch it.

TJ leaned his head on top of Cyrus. “Yeah. I never wanna lose you,”

“And you won’t,” Cyrus assured him, “next word?”

“Wonderwall. . .like the Taylor Swift song?” TJ questioned with a grin.

“You know the Taylor Swift song?”

TJ scoffed. “I’m not uncultured. Is that what it’s from?”

Cyrus shook his head. “No, not from that. It means, like, someone that you can’t stop thinking about, no matter how hard you try,”

TJ carded his fingers through the other boy’s hair. “You really are too cute,”

Cyrus put a hand over his face, the heat radiating. “Next word,” he mumbled.

“Naz,”

“That night at the fair, when we were on the ferris wheel. And I was like ‘I’d love you no matter what’,” Cyrus started, “that’s kind of what it is. Knowing that you are loved no matter what,”

“Platonically?”

Cyrus nearly laughed at that. “At the time? Probably not,” he admitted bashfully.

“Anam cara,”

Cyrus beamed. “Soul friend,” he said, “it was from that night at the tree house,”

“I remember that,” TJ murmured, blinking slowly.

“I think that’s the night that I realized how hard I’d fallen for you,”

And if TJ wasn’t blushing before, he sure was now. “You’re such a sap,”

“I do not appreciate the mockery,” Cyrus defended, tapping the journal, “next,”

“Kalon,”

Cyrus’ face was burning, and these words were not helping. “It’s. . .beauty that’s more than skin deep,”

TJ picked his head up off of Cyrus’, bringing a finger under his chin and hooking it up. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Now that you say it out loud it sounds stupid,” Cyrus whined, reaching for the journal with an eraser, but TJ stopped him.

“No, no! It’s, like, really endearing. I love it,” TJ promised him, taking the eraser and tossing it back in the picnic basket.

Cyrus relaxed, draping an arm across TJ’s chest. “Next word,” he whispered.

TJ squinted at the page. “Some french nonsense that I’m not even going to try and begin to pronounce,”

Cyrus puffed out a breath. “La douleur exquise,” Cyrus supplied, laying the French accent on thick and obnoxious, “that’s like the heartbreaking realization that someone you love is unattainable,”

TJ laughed, throwing his head back so that he tapped the tree behind him. “Clearly that’s a lie,”

Cyrus chuckled; TJ’s laughter was infectious. “I guess so,” he whispered, looking up and immediately getting lost in TJ’s eyes. Shaking himself out of the daze, TJ turned back to the words.

“Quinceanera,”

Cyrus’ face scrunched up, leaning to see the page. “That says querencia,” he pointed out, “it’s. . .well, it’s like a place where you feel most at home. Where you feel like your most authentic self,”

“So, like, wherever you are,” TJ whispered; Cyrus could feel his warm breath on his face, they were so close.

“Next word,” Cyrus murmured, his eyes not once leaving TJ.

“Redemancy,”

“A love returned in full,” Cyrus whispered.

“Hm, I think I have someone in mind,” TJ joked, cracking a smile out of Cyrus. He brings their noses to touch, and TJ has to strain his eyes to see the last one in order to not break contact.

“Basorexia,”

Cyrus smiled softly. “The overwhelming feeling of wanting to kiss someone,”

“Oh, really? Diagnose me with that shit,” TJ laughed, and Cyrus felt like he could melt right then and there.

“Can I. . .you know,”

“Kiss me?” TJ finished, a smug look on his face.

Cyrus nodded sheepishly, unable to maintain eye contact for more than a second. “Yeah. . .that,”

“What’s stopping you?”

Cyrus hesitated, biting at his lips nervously. It’d been a while since he’d been this nervous around TJ, of all people. “I-I don’t know,”

TJ pulled his hands up, holding one of Cyrus’ in both of his. “We don’t have to if you’re not ready,” he promised him. He didn’t want to rush Cyrus into something he wasn’t comfortable with.

Cyrus shook his head, with confidence. “Please, I’ve been ready for this for a while,”

“Me too,”

TJ didn’t move, instead waiting for Cyrus to do something, which he did. He counted all the freckles on his nose before leaning forward and connecting their lips. It was unlike anything he’d felt before; it was like TJ’s lips were air and he couldn’t breathe. TJ felt like all the wind was knocked out of him; his lips were buzzing, and any other sound in the world melted away into nothingness. In retrospect, it was a pretty mediocre kiss, but it was everything in the world to TJ and Cyrus.

“Holy fucking shit,” TJ mumbled after he’d pulled back, taking in a deep breath; it was his first breath after his first kiss.

Cyrus rolled his eyes, punching him lightly. “Way to ruin the moment,”

“You’re blushing,” TJ countered, pinching his cheeks endearingly. Cyrus pouted, shaking his head.

“So are you, Mr. Tomato,” Cyrus joked, sticking his tongue out.

“So what’s today’s word?” TJ asked, tugging Cyrus into his lap and pressing a soft kiss to his temple.

“That was today’s word, dork,”

“Can I add one?” he asked, fishing out the pencil from the basket.

“Sure,”

TJ scrawled down a word at the bottom, trying to make it look as much as Cyrus’ handwriting as he could. When he showed it to Cyrus, the boy put his head in his hands.

logolepsy: an obsession with words

“I am not obsessed with words,” Cyrus pouted, his words muffled.

TJ held the journal up above his head, out of Cyrus’ reach. “I beg to differ,” he countered, chuckling lightly.

“. . .fine. I like words,” Cyrus admitted, “happy?”

“Just like?” TJ shot back, smirking.

“You talk too much,” Cyrus huffed, cupping TJ’s face and pulling him closer, “round two?”

TJ nodded, and this time it was him who closed the gap. This kiss wasn’t electric like the first; it was safe and familiar, like he’d been here a thousand times before. No other thoughts rattled around in his mind; all he was thinking about was how lucky he was, to be able to share this moment with someone he loved so much.

Tag List: @shortstackofpeaches || @seanna313 || @geekingbeautytx || @heavenlybyers || @ginnychrises|| @wlwandimack || @giocondasstuff || @lemonboytyrus || @adorejrizzle || @swingsetboys || @ifellintotyrushell || @idk-dude-17 || @rbf-lesbian || @marianara-sauce || @kaptainjinxz || @alex-poster-pizz || @quietmarvel || @blueberry-my-hero-macadamia || @broadwayitbitch || @tjsmuffin || @tjthekippen || @idpleasesir || @hi-hello-hey-there || @bingewatchingenthusiast|| @booklove-2 || @illbeyourreasonwhy || @birdiesandflowers || @whistlepunk || @phinallyjackie || @thedampjofangirl || @tyrus4eva || @tj-is-a-lemony-boy || @tj-goodman-bittersweet-boy || @dis-app-oin-tme-nt || @nessarinthegay || @breadisticks || @typewriter-riz || @gobletofash || @bluemuffinboy || @sofuuh || @cheesystars || @tjmuffin || @multifandom-bxitch || @allylovessadie || @hithatsmyname || @tyrusinarush || @tyrus-lookback || @gaycefulwords || @theobligatedklutz || @bambikippen ||

[captainkippen]

hi I love your writing so much and you're super talented !!! could you write a fic about tyrus and a long distance relationship? (a continuation of the camping ones I guess?). maybe them visiting each other or finally being able to move in with each other after college or whatever hdjsjsjs thanks

SEND ME FIC PROMPTS

Thank you so much!

Cyrus couldn’t bite back a smile as he picked up the incoming call from TJ. He knew exactly what this conversation was going to be because TJ was almost half an hour late to meet him now.

“You’re late,” He sung into the phone.

TJ’s was tinny and crackled through the phone, but the annoyance in his tone came through clear as day. “I know. Your campus is like one big maze. I’ve been walking in circles for like an hour now.”

“Why didn’t you just text me to come find you?” He knew why. It was because TJ was as stubborn as they come and unwilling to ask for help most of the time, especially when it came to directions. He had this weird attitude towards maps that suggested he knew better than them, but really Cyrus was pretty sure he just found them too confusing. Even with Google maps telling them out loud where to go TJ has gotten lost before. It was a talent of his.

“I thought I had it down,” TJ grumbled. “Why is nothing here signposted?”

“Okay,” Cyrus grabbed his keys from the top of his dresser and slipped on some shoes. “Describe your location, I’m coming to find you.”

It took Cyrus ten minutes to find TJ. Fortunately, he was only a little way across campus rather than lost somewhere down near Greek Row or the library. From a distance, he looked grumpy, but as Cyrus walked towards him he lifted his head and a smile blossomed across his face when he spotted him. Cyrus forced himself not to run towards him, just walking at a slightly higher than average speed, but somehow they still managed to collide so hard that the force of their hug almost winded both of them.

“Hi,” Cyrus sighed happily into TJ’s chest. “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too,” TJ mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I hate being far away.”

“It sucks,” He pulled back to stretch up and give TJ a quick kiss. It took all his strength not to real him in for a proper one, but there was a time and a place for that and he didn’t want any of his professors to witness him practically mauling his boyfriend. “How was the drive?”

He pulled away and TJ bent down to pick up the duffle bag by his feet. The sight of the bag made Cyrus incredibly happy. It was an old one, the one that TJ had always used to use for camping, but now it signified special weekends visiting one another or trips down to the lake when they were back at home.

“It was okay,” TJ shrugged. “Long. Did you know drivers here are real passive aggressive?”

Cyrus laughed as they started walking back towards his dorm. “Maybe they wouldn’t be so much if you drove like a sane person. How many people did you cut off today?”

TJ grinned and shoved into him playfully, but his silence confirmed Cyrus’ suspicions. Terrible at directions and a terrible driver. Why did Cyrus find that so endearing?

“And how was the motel?”

“Decent. No bed bugs, no murderers, just noisy neighbours. It was fine for just the night, but I’m looking forward to your bed.”

“It’s just a generic dorm bed.”

“It’ll have you in though, won’t it?”

Cyrus rolled his eyes. “What do you wanna do later? Campus tour? I know all the great spots for having a panic attack. What about dinner? There’s a diner across the street from us that does great waffles. I know how much you love waffles. Or! We could go and catch a movie, there’s this little independent-”

“Cyrus,” TJ interrupted with a fond grin, sensing an oncoming ramble. “I’m okay with whatever. I’m here to see you, that’s all that matters. You don’t have to think up an entire itinerary to keep me entertained. I’m happy as long as I’m with you.”

Truth be told, Cyrus had been a little worried that after not seeing TJ for a few months maybe his boyfriend would’ve lost interest. He didn’t want him to drive for twelve hours just to have a boring weekend and decide that he and Cyrus didn’t fit together well anymore. At TJ’s reassurance, he let out a relieved breath and smiled a sunny smile back at him.

“Oh. Okay then… but I really do think you’d like the waffles.”

“Well, let’s get waffles then.”

TJ took his hand then, interlocking their fingers and giving it a comforting squeeze. It was gestures like that which reminded Cyrus that TJ knew him better than anybody else in the whole world. He couldn’t imagine not having him in his life. Not for the first time he wondered what their hands would look like wearing matching rings.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Shield Hero 20 - 22 | Sarazanmai 7 - 9 | BSD 32 - 34 | Fruits Basket 8 - 9 | Demon Slayer 8 - 10 | OPM 20 - 21

Shield Hero 20

Motoyasu getting dragged by Filo was funny…not enough to get a proper laugh though. Just a smirk or two.

Stop narrating and just get on with it, Naofumi and friends…!

“I was saying we should fight together all along.” (from Itsuki) – Were you, now…? (skeptical)

Ass-pull! I call “ass-pull” at the power to swallow the phoenix flame! Seriously, when did the dragon get the opportunity to teach Naofumi how to do that???

How did Naofumi not die after losing so much blood…?

What does the Q even stand for in the queen’s name…?

Sarazanmai 7

The seagulls…so fluffy…

For some reason, I expect a fakeout, but then it never arrives…these boys are really connecting…

I found some kappa croquette thingy online, but it referred to a “Shiki City” which probably isn’t in Asakusa…

The shirt…Kazuki’s shirt says “frog” but I get the feeling it also means “return”.

Shirohasu water. It’s Irohasu in Japan.

Was the lyric to Kawausoiya (the otter song) “gonna take ‘em”…?

Nice ET reference, Sara.

Balls…not just sport entendre, but…y’know. The sort of humour I don’t like as much.

Ooh…Keppi is shaping up to be the bad guy. But what plans does he have? Am I speculating too much and is he being framed? Hard to know until next time…

BSD 32

When Kyouka is eating the sundae, she looks like the Tofu Kyouka from Mayoi…hmm.

Can I confess something? Before I saw the illustrations for s2, I thought Louisa’s hair was much darker than what it is in the anime…hmmm, indeed.

I don’t think we were ever told (in the manga or the anime) what Louisa’s wish was…

This bit with Fyodor…I don’t think it was in the manga.

Subarashi-sou is a pun on “it seems wonderful”. That wasn’t in the manga, but it’s a great pun (because it’s right up my alley).

Fitz laughing at the neighbour’s TV wasn’t in the manga either, but that’s just the anime director’s humour peeking through.

“Blalack Daniel’s”, LOL.

Ohh…a quick Google reveals TJ Eckleberg is from the Great Gatsby. In there, he’s an eye doctor, but here, he’s an engineer.

George B Wilson is also from the Great Gatsby…Here be spoilers, but…George dies in his original work too.

Manhasset is a place in New York…I assume it’s connected to the Great Gatsby as well…

Oh yeah! Random Poe moment. That’s in the manga, so Igarashi (or whoever’s responsible for the terrible humour) doesn’t have to fake that bit.

Cue “Objection!” by Fitz, lemme guess. Even if I know the outcome and how it was done, I’d like to have my memory refreshed (by stabbing in the dark…and making an Ace Attorney joke in the process).

I already know, without googling, that Tom Buchanan is part of Great Gatsby as well…

Bank of Amerigo…LOL.

Fruits Basket 8

“If you show up for the banquet now…”

“The banquet sounds just like the folk tale!” Honestly, subbers, proofread…

Haa-kun and Haa-san. No distinguishing between them (aside from honorifics), even though they’re two completely different people.

Hatori’s squinty face was…hilarious, to put it simply.

Oh…I forgot the dance seems to be something the animal of the year does. So if Yuki was 3 years ago, it makes sense Momiji is doing it this year.

Best seat in the house for a sunrise, huh?

Kimetsu no Yaiba 8

I’ve seen Muzan being described as “Demon Michael Jackson” and now I can’t get that out of my head when I see him…sorry.

Tsukihiko, huh? It translates to “moon’s radiance” or something like that. That name is appropriate for a bad guy, isn’t it?

This is the first time I’ve really listened to the OST (aside from the OP and ED), so it’s…really something.

Ooh, I didn’t realise until now, but Ufotable even imitated the paper Jump is printed on with the next-ep previews…

OPM 2 8 (OPM 20)

Er…I haven’t mentioned it for the past few episodes, but Suiryu is hotttttttt. (No? I said that? Okay, next step.) That’s basically the only reason why I’m watching anymore…I can’t seem to find anyone who thinks positively of this tournament arc enough to do reviews of it that I can read, which has made my own opinion of this beloved series go down the drain…Also, if you weren’t aware, my taste lies not in Suiryu’s huge bulk, but rather in the fact he’s got long hair.

Didn’t Suiryu get pierced in the abs??? Where’s the blood coming from his injuries??? Update: He does have injuries there, they’re just not bloody…that’s all.

The main criticism for OPM 2 is the fact that it keeps cutting between different events, so it’s hard to follow. Well, I’ve had worse (see Concrete Revolutio) so that’s why I’m still here.

People say that clothing changes you – say if you put on a new outfit, you feel like a new person. (Of course, that’s all glamorising and praising consumption, but that’s beside the point here.) I think that’s what’s up with Max and Snek.

Shield Hero 21

“…the Shield Hero is worshipped.”

Really? Boob jiggle, at a time like this??? (Context: Malty is getting th slave crest painted on her.)

Wait, was there ever a Shield Church???

Okay, that felt like a real seasonal ending. What the heck is going to happen in the last few episodes, I wonder…?

Sarazanmai 8

Chikai knows the real meaning of YOLO…heh. I’m only kidding…

To be honest, I think I like Toi best out of the main trio. I tend to like the boys in blue…and no, I don’t mean the otter police.

Kazuki’s service provider is “Kappa Phone”, LOL.

When Reo held up the gun, I was yelling, “Enta! Get it for him!” (i.e. take the bullet) I didn’t expect him to actually do it…

…and here I thought tragic yuri was common enough and we don’t have enough Tragic Yaoi Dudes…

Notably, Toi was registered on Enta’s phone as “Kuji”, while Kazuki is registered as “Kazuki” (katakana) on Toi’s.

Shots fired…!

Update: I didn’t notice this, but the evil dude with kamome written behind him (I think it’s in this episode, but it might have been in the last one instead) must be based on a seagull…because that’s what kamome means.

Bungou Stray Dogs 33 (BSD S3 Ep 8)

I think it was around here I stopped reading the scans, because the series was picked up legally anyway…but I can see the death flags for a certain Port Mafia man…one who stands at the top.

As expected…butt shot. Igarashi (or whoever’s responsible for that shot) likes butts, so between this and Sarazanmai…*imagines image of kappa!Kazuki holding a shirikodama* There’s absolutely no buts about it (LOL), there’s no shortage of butts this season.

“To think that the rabbit being hunted would show its face…” – I think it’s hard for you to say that, Akutagawa, when you yourself have no face in that frame…

Why are both Akutagawa and Fyodor Naruto running today???

“So you’re doing this for that woman.”

What is “Mukurotoride”? I don’t seem to remember…maybe I never learnt what it was. Update: Apparently a tower in Dead Apple is called Mukurotoride.

Conspiracy time! This book sounds like Kunikida’s Ability…so imagine if it were under Dazai’s nose the entire time…

Fruits Basket 9

I love how the synopsis for this episode goes, “Kyo fights Yuki, Yuki fights a cold…”

Hatsuharu’s wearing such an ostentatious fluffy jacket…LOL, I love it.

Holy cow (LOL), I forgot how old Hatsuharu is…so that means he’s 15-ish, right?

Come to think of it…I see Fruits Basket characters in Ro Te O, which I started writing at about this time in 2013. The Azrael of that time was a hybrid of Hatsuharu, Ritsu and Ayame, Tetsuya is basically Yuki and Ryou is Kyou…hmm.

Apparently, Shigure had in the 2001 anime a song that went like, “High school girls, high school girls, cute high school girls for me.” So that’s where it was??? (Context: I haven’t seen Fruits Basket 2001, but read the entire manga.)

Kimetsu no Yaiba 9

Recap time, recap time…so the lady’s in the back room and Tanjiro conveniently forgets the man is in the basement…? Wuh?

Moya was complaining about how repetitive this show can get when it comes to the script (i.e. it repeats itself because it doesn’t trust its audience, but I think that’s because this is originally serialised on TV week by week that people may forget if they’re not bingeing, taking notes or following the manga). I’ll talk more about that in my KnY collab post, I guess…

When Yushiro said “watch your back”…he really meant it, huh?

Temari are the balls, but kemari is when you kick the balls.

“…the eyeballs on his hands are creepy.” – LOL.

Shield Hero 22

The ep title just says “Hero Council”…not specifically that there are 4 of them.

My stream’s been buffering more than usual, so I went “like mother, like daughter” before Naofumi did…

It would’ve ben massively funny to hear Melty call Malty either “Trash” or “B****”…especially the last one, because that’s always a fun way to end a sentence (especially for a girl as young as her). Update: She does, but the way she does it isn’t as funny as I thought it would be (and she doesn’t end her sentence with her sister’s new name).

Wait, I thought they got rid of her slave pact??? I thought it was only for the duration of her trial that she needed it for.

L’Arc and that lady seem like they’re foreshadowing for later…hmm. Update: The next-episode synopsis says “yes”. So does that new visual.

Sarazanmai 9

I can’t believe this show’s almost over…That means I gotta get a move on with RobiHachi, but to be honest? Non-anime things are probably going to kep me busy until…a few days from now. So I’ll get RobiHachi watched then.

Characetrs are dying en masse in this episode, aren’t they??? I saw a spoiler that (well, SPOILER) Chikai’s gonna die, but I don’t know about Enta or Keppi…Update: To be honest, I thought Chikai was going to become the next monster – a gun monster, perhaps. Maybe now that I’ve finished the episode, he’ll become a real zombie. (Hey, see what I did there with the bolding…? How’s that for hiding spoilers, eh???)

Oh yeah…I forgot Enta’s sister was Kazuki’s teacher…

There was a sign behind Masa that said”Hinode Asakusa” – “hi no de” meaning roughly “under the sun” or “leaving the sun”.

Tokarev…? The gun? Gun monster, maybe? Is this a critique of the American gun…(exaggerated voice) Nah, can’t be…this is Japanese.

Lionel…Lionel…for some reason, that name in relation to soccer seems familiar...I just can’t put my finger on who it reminds me of, though. Update: Is it, perhaps, Messi…? Yes, I think that’s the guy I was thinking of…!

Aw…I’m not crying, you are…But these words were running through my head before Toi chucked the bag of money away and yelled, “F***!”: “Everything I do, I do it for you.” Isn’t that cute…?

Bungou Stray Dogs 34

“…one by one?” Junban means “sequentially”, so I don’t see why you have to use the phrase “one by one”. Or “one at a time” would also work.

Hardbank…to contrast Softbank (a phone company in Japan).

Face-stealing aliens strike again…(re: Atsushi)

Oh flip. This reminds me of my Kunikida fic…yeah, I bet you don’t remember it.

Hey, this dude! Apparently he’s from one of Kunikida’s stories. I really am approaching the end of what I know of canon…*gulp* Update: Oops, we already passed that part…

I wonder if the real Fyodor could play cello…? Or is this just a thing to make him ominous and villanous…?

The cross on the wall behind Kunikida…makes this show more like Eva than Kekkai Sensen…exquisite. Absolutely exquisite, isn’t it?

Another cool cross, behind Tanizaki!

What’s a tatamigatana? Also, I didn’t know other people could be synchronised using Doppo Poet and Ranpo’s deduction…

Does Kouyou mean (by “the one I most despise”)…Chuuya? Or herself? It’s definitely not Ace.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 10

Headpats for Yushiro as well! Headpats for everyone!

There’s a lot of Tanjiro being terrified in this episode…

Wait…Kizuki? I thought they were the 12 Moons? (Well, “tsuki” means “moon”, but then what’s the “ki”?) Update: The “ki” means “demon”, so the Kizuki are the 12 Demon Moons.

Being alone with the body…that’s always a scary thought in murder mysteries…for the people who dissect them to determine the cause of death, that is.

Considering the name of the episode is “Together Forever”…nup, I don’t see Nezuko and Tanjiro separating anytime soon…

The Kasugai crow is what happens when you can’t turn off your Google Assistant…or GPS…or Siri.

If Tanjiro knows the name of his crow, how do the crows get their names? Do their trainers (is that the right term for a crow breeder in this case…?) give them names?

OPM S2 Ep 9 (Ep 21)

LOL, that one shot of the ants…JC Staff really don’t care about this series, do they…?

I kinda forgot about Genos after a bit more than a week…sorry, I was watching other anime in between. (More than usual, at least. I started playing Chibi Tamago – a forum game for AniList where you collect badges for watching anime - that’s why.)

Did he (Pri-Pri Prisoner)…store his phone in his butt…?

[tjkiahgb]

Okay so the promo has got me scared for the next episode bc with the parallels between the Marty/Buffy race with a Cyrus ref and Tj/Buffy game with Cyrus ref it could be possible that they try to set up a Tuffy thing which has got me shook but I really hope it’s just them shooting hoops and making up with some solid mlm/wlw solidarity

Apologies anon, because I know you sent this earlier today while I was working on the recap. This question was about the promo at the end of the last episode and some things have certainly happened since then, namely: we learned of Marty’s impending return and we got the extended promo.

I don’t know how you’re feeling now – hopefully better – but I’m still going to use your question as a jumping off point.

Ok, first things first, let’s look at Marty and Buffy vs. TJ and Buffy.

Marty and Buffy were playful rivals from the start. Even when they were trading witty barbs, even when they were competing, it was always in service of fun and growing their relationship. The race ultimately didn’t happen because they realized they cared more about being friends than the competition of it all. (The basketball one-on-one seems like it’s definitely happening because TJ and Buffy have no such concerns.)

TJ and Buffy’s rivalry is far from playful. Most of their interactions are dripping with contempt for one another. I can’t think of any real, genuinely nice scenes they’ve had. At best, they play out sort of neutral until they usually end with one rebuffing the other. Buffy talks about her crush being recent, but her last interaction with TJ was him (intentionally or unintentionally – I’m still not positive. One more shot in the finale to clarify this) getting her kicked off the team, which is the worst thing he’s ever done to her. The only thing that’s changed since then between them was he signed a basketball for her, which she seemed less than interested in (she was more interested in the fact Jonah got the basketball for her). It would be very hard to imagine either person being in a place – even after an apology and whatever else happens in the finale – that they’d even start to consider each other in a romantic sense like that.

Marty’s relationship with Buffy and TJ’s relationship with Buffy are so vastly different, I think it’s hard to draw any real parallels between them, other than: sports. And I would assume the writers know that, because I don’t think it’s anywhere near their intention to make those two relationships similar. If it is, they’ve done an insanely poor job of it. (Honestly, if this ends in a few days with TJ and Buffy looking to get into a relationship, they need to replace the whole writers’ room. They would’ve had ample opportunity to set up and work towards that relationship at multiple points in the season if that were the case, even by doing something as teensy tiny as writing a scene where it seems like TJ and Buffy can even stand to be in the same room together for longer than a few minutes. If they didn’t seize on any of that opportunity and now want to jump right to romance, that would be some of the laziest writing imaginable.)

With that in mind, let’s look at some of the other stuff that happened today.

Marty’s actor, Garren, posted an Instagram picture suggesting he’s coming back to Andi Mack. @mackmeta wrote a really well thought out piece about the potential ramifications of his return (it’s a great breakdown of what’s quite the fascinating move on the producers’ part), but the single most important one is this: he’s coming back for Buffy.

So let’s test this under the assumption TJ and Buffy attempt a relationship. Nothing solid’s happening in season 2. TJ’s not going to reappear in season 3 until around episode 5, so the time frame would need to be really quick. If he’s in episode 5 and 6, that’s when you’d need to lay all the groundwork for a TJ and Buffy relationship. They’d need to reconcile and admit their feelings to one another and basically start it. TJ’s not in the few episodes after that but is back for episodes ~9, 10, and 11 (or so), which is what they’re shooting now as Marty is returning. So why bring back Marty like two episodes into their relationship? To basically start immediately breaking it apart? And you have to assume Marty would break it apart, too, and quickly, because they’d need to start working toward the Marty and Buffy endgame (it seems silly to go through the work of bringing him back if they don’t want him to be endgame with Buffy). So, after all that, why even attempt a TJ/Buffy relationship in the first place? What exciting thing could really happen between them in a couple episodes that would make this whole endeavor worth it?

But let’s say that’s not the case. Let’s look at the other option and say, by chance, he’s being brought back only temporarily to help advance Buffy and TJ’s endgame. How could he possibly help that cause with TJ’s character? It would just serve to remind the audience that Buffy likes sporty types, and oh, here’s one she liked much more and had a lot more chemistry with. Anyway, Marty’s got a girlfriend now. Don’t worry about him. He’s gone and we’re back to TJ and Buffy. Why bother even bringing Marty back then? He was written off well enough a few episodes ago.

Neither option makes a ton of sense, given the effort and the lack of payoff.

Alright, finally, the last thing: the extended promo and the look back.

First, I love that they’re giving TJ the responsibility of the look back. It’s great that they see him as being important enough to deliver that and everything that comes with it. It shows they value him as more than just someone’s boyfriend. He’s a full character who has his own wants and desires that matter and are important going forward.

As for the promo, I think it’s pretty telling that they’re setting it up to look like it’s towards Buffy. This is going to be one of the last few surprises of the season, so it would seem strange to blow it with obvious telegraphing in the promo.

But, furthermore, I think if you really wanted to hint towards a TJ and Buffy relationship, wouldn’t you give Buffy the look back? You’ve already been toying with this “Buffy’s Crush” mystery storyline for several episodes. Why wouldn’t the producers take this opportunity to add this last bit of mystery? “Oooh, is TJ Buffy’s crush?” Though it doesn’t make a lot of sense like I outlined above, it’s at least more interesting than TJ being into Buffy. If all we got was TJ looking at Buffy, wouldn’t most people assume she’s not interested? Again, not a single scene before this episode would suggest any different.

Anyway, I wrote too much. And probably not anything wildly different than others have already speculated.

I’m feeling like the chances of Tyrus really beginning in earnest in the finale are pretty strong, but I’m no fortune teller.

On the bright side, we only have to wait a few days to find out.

[thesmallcast]

New Year, New MEga Goals

Before I hit into the 2019 goals and outlook, I do want to reflect on my last post. Sex has been a big topic of my blog and rightly so. I think that it was such a difficult thing for me to comprehend. Sober Sex! Getting intimate! Nervous! Scared! I had issues with my vagina this year where I couldn’t even put a tampon in without pain let alone the thought of anything else.  I saw a gynaecologist for “vaginismus” - which more or less is the tightening of my vagina muscles making any type of penetration painful or impossible. I felt fine physically but mentally I was still holding on to previous trauma. I think seeing my therapist again and talking more about has helped me heal. Finishing the drought was n’t as bad as I had expected, in fact, I'm amused by the way it played out and so proud of myself for taking a leap and just feeling that confidence again! Of course - the first thing to do is message all my friends and update them on the latest and greatest news…One friend commented “ Isn’t it weird having sex with someone who’s drunk and you’re sober” - I was a bit taken back. I am not going to be able to dictate this I have made a choice to go sober - for me, it doesn’t change anything. I'm more conscious of ensuring that the male is in the right state of mind to consent. Its something I won’t be able to control and it doesn’t bother me either way.

Coming into 2019 a big part of this year is to stop being so hard on myself for everything I do, live in the moment, breathe and embrace. Its easier said than done but I'm getting so much better at taking a step back and being more accepting. Sometimes a friendly reminder that Hey, that's just you being you, dorky Sam, open book, bold, confident, cheeky, fun, loud, loveable Sam… I won't be everyone's slice of pie but Il always be delicious. I will continue to shine bright and not be discouraged by those who don’t value me or me being wholeheartedly ME.

I have written up a tonne of goals which I feel like have shifted than my outlook for 2019 originally. I have recorded them all below

I'm going to take a break from weightlifting. Two reasons, one is to save money and the other is to work more on building muscle and losing body fat. I have gone guns blazing into weightlifting but have been injured several times recently that its time to make a change. I want to get back into running I use to enjoy it so much and build more muscles in the legs.  My 2019 goals are to

1.Squat my own Body Weight 2.Enter City to Surf in August 2019

Also, a friend from the gym TJ has kindly offered to write me up a program.. for free which I’m so excited for. She is so knowledgeable and has a strong understanding of what I want. She gets my vibe. I enjoy the gym, the feeling it gives me and getting shredded is also great... I love my body as it is today! Maybe not that one week during my period.  I have definitely done a 360 from where I used to be I couldn’t stand my hips, my thighs, my chin…. Now my hips and thighs are my favourite parts of me! I used to have to look in a mirror at my therapist and it was super confronting at first but now I can't stop a looking!

My saving goals are to get back on the saving bandwagon. After a massive spring clean today, I realised I have so much stuff! I have seven pairs of shorts - is it really necessary… definitely NOT. I have been told on countless occasions that I’m a shopaholic. I will happily admit that I am. I think that most girls are but I don’t even think through a purchase I just swipe my card. It’s time I change that and take action. I would hate to know how much I spend on clothing each month... each year. I have a total shopaholic mindset which this year Il be majorly working on. Do I need it?.  I feel like there is a birthday or any occasion I instantly ‘need’ a new dress for it. Other than it draining my bank account - Do I have any other purpose for it? I have brought so many one time dresses or outfits for just a special occasion. I also, on the other hand, have some items I wear to death e.g my denim shorts, my Elle t-shirt... essentially my go to ’s. Nobody actually remembers or gives a fuck what you are wearing ... let’s be real.

Last year in winter,  I decluttered and asking myself -Do I need this? Do I wear this? I filled two kitchen rubbish bags with clothes ... and I was ruthless. I didn’t fall for the whole I might wear this again.... if it hadn’t been in my laundry for the past 6 months it was gone. I did make an exception for summer outfits but I was pretty honest with what I will wear and what I didn’t wear last season or what just made a guest appearance. It didn’t mean I now have space to add more clothes in those drawers it just means I’m a little less cluttered. Somehow I have managed to get my drawers chockfull… AGAIN.

So the rules are:

1. I will only buy if an absolute necessity - e.g. Work pants fall apart… which they won't cause I have about 7 pairs of those too!! 2. I am able to buy something new if I hit a fitness goal ( to be decided) 3.   Don’t just buy it for aesthetics 4.   Sell some shit and DIY

Thank u, Next!

Although it's slightly contradictory to saving, I do want to get out more this year and see more, do more, be more social. Experience more of Sydney. It doesn’t have to be expensive but definitely want to continue going for hikes, seeing what Sydney has to offer and meeting good souls.

My biggest goal for 2019 (one which makes me nervous and excited). To quit my job and move to Amsterdam for a year. It's a big one. It will be bittersweet to leave the comfort of Goodman Fielder were I have worked for 8 years, to pack my bags and leave. Hence the saving goals are in dire need. I am only young once and I feel this is a prime opportunity I'm single, I am turning 29… I have nothing to lose. Why Amsterdam? Well, I have a best mate there which makes settling a bit easier, its a great location and I can travel around Europe. I went to Amsterdam around 4 years back and absolutely loved it and the vibe and could see myself living there. The goals are too:

1.Buy a one-way ticket to Amsterdam for September 2.Learn basic Dutch

Moving into my more emotional and ‘icicle’ related goals. I am such a self-reflector and so more self-aware than I have ever been and I want to make sure that I'm not just thinking of my self but others too. I really want to pick up a volunteer role as I have been trying to find one which suits who I am and what I believe in. I will continue to keep my eyes peeled. My top 5 emotional goals to work on :

1.Be more decisive - Don’t be scared to make a decision to please someone else. Just go with your gut. No answer is the wrong answer 2.Don't get caught up on males - validation that I don’t need. I am enough. Stop wondering if I'm good enough for other people and start wondering if they’re good enough for me 3.Making enough time for the VIP in my life 4.Continuously praise and validate my self-worth - Be kind, gentle and caring. Making my own happiness. 5.Continue blogging to express me, my thoughts, my freedom, my being.

2019!!! Let's get cracking!

[hausofmamadas]

WOOOOW okay, so I have 6 reblog drafts because I moved this week, started a new job, and also lost like 2 weeks worth of fic writing, including my little reaction comments, so a little late to this party but had to stan bc ofc I did.

𖥕

𖥕 As for everyone else, including Barrón who was always around - you were all held at arm’s length. Even if shown to be trustworthy. Not that you were, not really.

Skskskksskskk already screaming, like…. I know this shoutout to my one true malewife isn’t just for me but like lowkey it’s just for me right sksksksk no but really the way I feel so seen rn.

𖥕 Since there were a lot of things you were omitting for personal reasons, you made the rest as juicy as possible.

CHOKING cause you mean Reader isn’t including in their reports how they’ve been ahem likewise CHOKING on that D every night getting in good with the Arellano fam, haven’t been sharing the nitty gritty details about how Mon paid proper tribute to that poonani how close they’re getting with Dina and the other sisters??

𖥕 Then there’s quiet Ramon … In that mood, he slips on his headphones and listens to cassette tapes … or he does crazy shit like that park incident a couple of years back.

Sksksksk imsosorry but Reader characterizing the straight locura of buying a metricfuckton of tuna from the local TJ fish stand, taking it to a public park where a children’s bday party is actively occurring, stringing them fishies up on a clothesline, and lighting them up with an AK-47 …. AS “THAT PARK INCIDENT”

𖥕 Maybe that’s why you’ve let yourself walk on the dark side, why you gave in to temptation. Just to have him, to have this for a little while.

Jyeeeeeesus this got me straight in the mf chesticle, longing for a universe wherein Ramon is only sweet and childishly endearing and not a head of one of the most violent cartels of all time and poor Reader didn’t have AU fanfic bc it isn’t a thing bc it’s the fucking 80s sksks

𖥕 You made ‘the real’ you a ghost. You feel so much like the pretend version of you, her name feels like your name.

SORRRRYYRYR REEKS OF FORESHADOWING LIKE SUCH A SPHINCTER CLENCHING MOMENT EVEN THO NOTHING HAPPENED YET. Also, can we admire how real the it is the Reader’s own identity blurring along with moral lines look. listen. understandable. who among us could get such a quality dick-down and still remember our names

𖥕 “Okay, you get this one today. Sit.” Grinning wide, Ramon does as he’s told and sits on the couch. When you disappear down the hall, he forces himself to sit still, bouncing his leg in anticipation …

I– I AM- okay, confession time: I am of the opinion that Mon is not a dom. Like, my read on him? I think he’d want his girl to step on him hence Mon/Maddy vid. She would own his ass sksks but obv this is not enough to stop me from consuming as much Mon fic as I can spy with my little eye BUT THIS– Reader telling him to sit. Him doing it right quick, like the good, loyal nena he is. OH and please explain HOW AND WHY the leg-bouncing is also the hottest????? fucking ????? Like one of those things, I never knew how much I NEEDED it until it was here

𖥕 …Ramon wouldn’t be Ramon without an extra accessory, something that turns his outfit up a little louder. This time it’s one of the puffiest fur coats you’ve ever seen …

I’ve never seen his coat described as puffy, but this got me chortling bc lorrrdt, does that coat have mad volume sksksksksk

𖥕 Tears came to your eyes as Enedina walked down the aisle, with Benjamin escorting her. You were even seated a row behind the family, and that proximity made you feel important.

Wow, okay a few things: a) Reader. Never feel guilty for crying at the sight of Dina. We were all GONERS the minute we laid eyes on her. Sure you’re a cop and like “tRaiNeD feR ThIS,” but you’re human. And dw Barrón cryin into his tuxedo jacket right along with you b) The fact Reader gets seated behind the fam at the wedding after 3 mos, while Barrón, Panchita’s bestie for years? by this point? and head security, still gettin yelled at for drinking “agua mineral” at the damn reception. And bc I’m insufferable and can’t go 5 mins without talkin bout my blorbs like just picture him all grump, standing outside the church, sweating for Jesus, watching Reader walk in, being like, *Didn’t realize I had to be a hot chick to get some gotdamn AC here. I’ve been doing this all wrong.* 😂😂 Orrrrrrr sksksks if it was set in my Dinarrón AU, Barrón all like *Didn’t realize all I had to do was bang one of the Arellano siblings to get an invite to this shindig. So like … where are my two invitations..*

𖥕 Never one to shy away from the spotlight, or an opportunity to show off, Ramon slides back the chair and kicks his feet up … proudly displaying his new Jordans

Never thought of this until just now despite having watched zillions of minutes of footage of him on repeat bc tribute vids but why in Satan’s good name doesn’t Ramon wear his fucking Jordans when he carries out cartel hits?? This long mf out here at the airport, at the cafe to save Min, driving down the coast to get Mayo, each time literally RUNNING in $2,000 Italian leather loafers. WITH NO SOCKS. Like I invite you to imagine the number of bandaids he has to put on his ankles when he gets home from “work.” fuckin yodeling

𖥕 … you’ve never seen her smile and laugh as much as she did today. And now, her eyes are dark too, like if she had a knife hidden under that dress, she would gut Rayo herself.

Bc this is EXACTLY how that would go down if Dina did indeed have a weapon. CAN YOU SAY “PUTAMADRE” SKSKSK YA HEMOS VISTA ESE PINSHE GOLPE CON LA BOTELLA ALAVERGA

𖥕 The agent in you wants to get up, to follow, but you can’t. You know you can’t.

AAAHGHGHA and Andrea is outside, simultaneously being told by a parking attendant that she can’t follow them, like both her and Reader are powerless to do anything not more sphincter clenching. none of that happening here

𖥕 As Ramon struts over, and flashes a smile at you, it’s like watching a proud lion. He likely just killed someone, yet your body is acting a fool.

ASKFJALSDJF;ALJSK HOW MANY TIMES I CAN SAY THIS WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A BROKEN RECORD TOO LATE BUT GORL, WE ARE WITH YOU SO HARD SKSK

𖥕 You were dancing hard in the grey area these days, but you could not let an innocent man die on your watch.

Audibly guffawed at “dancing hard in the grey areas,” HOWMEVER good to see there are firm lines still. Bc Mon killing Rayo is Not Ideal. But Rayo is garbage maybe I’m just a sociopath or have been in the mind of Barrón, contract killer and pobrecito extraordinaire, for too long but prob wouldn’t feel that bad about Rayo dying tbh. But innocent bystanders? Different👏🏼fucking👏🏼story👏🏼

𖥕 Quickly whipping around you expected to see a dead man … instead you just see of his tires blown out as the man curled up in fear…

This one got me all on an emotional roller coaster in the span of nanoseconds bc the way I full-fucking gay-gasped and clutched my pearls like I thought this shits was finished, only to feel such relief that it was just the tires, and then onto amused resignation/lowkey surprise at Mon’s restraint

𖥕 Ramon 100% would have killed him too and smirked while doing it.

What comes to mind: Essence of Mon gifs where he points that gun at a dude and then fucking LAFFS IN HIS FACE which I love so much, I’ve used it for all three of my Mon-featured vids

𖥕 If you admit the extent of your feelings, you have to ask yourself, what kind of person does that make you?

JESUS CHRIST ON A MOTHERFUCKING CRACKER. As a fan of so many of these characters and someone whose literal favorite is the literal worst in no way is this the grand philosophical question that I ask myself every time I look in the mirror

𖥕 Though the events of the day are burned in your mind, you lose yourself in him, in this, in this version of him.

Howling sksks Reader like me thinks she can Mr-Potato-Head Ramon’s personality, like “I don’t like the blue shoes, I like the Chuck Taylors. Fuck this mustache, let’s do lady-lips” sksks like yes indeed, thug life would be so much easier if it was a choose-your-own-adventure

𖥕 You against them? In what scenario could that possibly work in your favor.

*Takes out calculator the size of a 1980s car phone, smashes keys furiously, counts on fingers, chews on end of pencil.* Uhhhhh according to my calculations. None. Yeah, exactly none. and wise not to risk your life for Rayo, the human equivalent of a spittle-soaked, cigar butt

𖥕 You can’t change his fate, who he is, what he’s done even if you do lo–

MY FACE, MY EXACT FACE RN? THE FACE SPONGEBOB MAKES AT SQUIDWARD ALL “YOU LIKE KRABBY PATTIES” SKSKSKS

𖥕 Did you just hear that correctly? Did he just– say– that?

Aaand me morphing into another SpongeBob lewk- the one where he pulls the holes on the side of his head down to stretch his face out in shock. Like I did nooooot see that coming so soon after Reader thought it. I have no idea how tf this is going to end?????? However it ends, we know it’s gonna be lordt-Jesus-issa-fire sksksks and I am cackling with demented glee just waiting to see the train wreck

Flirting with Danger 4

Ramon x f reader

Words: 5,532

An: Enjoy! We have 2 chapter left after this. 

Warnings: some violence, a gun being drawn and mentioned, a death that occurs off screen/ page, sexual content and mention of sexual activity. (Ps ppl should not wear fur, it’s wrong so know I’m not supporting that) | if you are a minor please don’t read! Or follow. This is an adult 18+ account. I don’t have time or energy to check everyone’s accounts.

Gif credit to owners, if you’d like your gif removed, let me know

Content disclaimer: You know my usual Narcos disclaimer, this is fic, made up, not an effort to glamorize the horrific acts of real persons. If this bothers you, just don’t read it, it saves us both time and energy. Thanks!

Fic info | previous chapter | next chapter

3 weeks later

Waking in a cold sweat, you stare blankly at the ceiling. This is the firth nightmare you’ve had. Minus the nightmares, the last three weeks have been amazing. Twenty-one days you’ve enjoyed way more than you should have. Not just because of Ramon, but because of his family. You’ve progressed to having more moments with them and continue to grow closer to his sisters.

Enedina talks to you a little more than she ever has before, and Benjamin becomes warmer, in his own way. He strikes you as the type that only let’s his blood family in, and his wife who he’s very much head over heels for. As for everyone else, including you, family friends, and someone like Barron who was always around - you were all held at arm’s length. Even if showed to be trustworthy. Not that you were, not really.

Keep reading

[minrazinc]

Probable personal nonsense that might involve Bill

So this is it... the thing that I’ve expected for 365 days since last year I volunteered at the horse show. Still don’t understand why I couldn’t just be satisfied with volunteering and have to join fan club event. Fan club, fan club, it’s a club, so it has to involve with lots of people and socializing, sigh. 

Well, but the good thing is of course talking to him. Seeing him ride is the best of the best. When he was doing warming up, he felt so casually, just greet everyone, both fans and others like any rider in the equestrian. And the cutest thing that surprised me the most is that he ate take-out at the equestrian, which I heard him say he loved to do that in 80s when he was shooting TJ hooker, but actually see him do that is such a surprise. Just, down to Earth too much?

And well, the fan club event, in which he sat with everyone comfortably and casually, just talked what he’s doing these days. Different from what he’s doing at cons, or TWOK screening these days, but also not quite different, because he’s always like that. I sat at the first row with my friend, just like 3 meter away from him. What a thrill... 

What surprised me is when he stepped into that little tent we had for the event, I did not shake like every time I did when I see him. Really to me he’s like, well, anyone but what he actually feels like to me. But my friend’s shaking. Ironically, I was even the one who’s holding her hand at that moment. 

And then here it comes... the most embarrassing moment in my life. He was talking about Ubantu, and kept looking at my friend who’s wearing a beautiful traditional Chinese dress with lots of make up. This is not surprising at all, since she’s absolutely amazing today. BUT. BUT. BUT. Your dear Mr. Shatner never comes normally. He suddenly stopped, and pointed at me, “Where do you live?” he asked me. It’s abnormal to me really, as someone like me who’s Chinese in this environment, (and obviously with super bad English). It’s just normally people would ask me where I am from. So I answered, but felt absolutely horror and total shocked. I have no idea why, but it’s just such scenario never even comes to my dream, that he would pick me up asking questions????? And then he kept asking something like can you think of someone who’s in your neighborhood who needs immediate help. it’s a simple question, I know. And I was familiar with his Ubantu project (my gawd what of his projects did I ever miss?) BUT. BUT at that moment, as what his assistant Paul described, I had complete horror in my face, like “WTF he’s picking on me???!!!” and completely blackout in my head. like I know he’s talking, I can see his mouth moving, but I don’t know what he’s saying... so obviously I can’t answer anything , so I turned to my friend for help, which I assumed should be something that’s supposed to happen. because she impressed Bill today. It’s too obvious. And then well, things just go... 

Well during the autograph session, I finally got him to sign “it gives me emotional security”, and tell him see any work of his gives me emotional security. He’s happy to hear that, which made it really satisfactory to me... and also told him i got to ride because of his inspiration etc. the real thing I want to say it how his charity horse show introduced to me the the way of using riding to deal with mental health problems, that really did really lots of magical things to me. but well once again, words failed at me at that moment. But that doesn’t matter though. As if the biggest embarrassing moment in my life happening once is not enough, he has to remind me of it. He talked Ubantu to me again, and said he’s counting on me. This is the first time I got a handshake with him, that is absolutely wonderful, until I remembered my friend got to kiss him and a hug which he offered. Well, nobody would think it as a big deal at all of course. 

Anyway, I really didn’t describe all the wonderful things happened today, because I’m freaking tired, and depressed,  with lots of pressure facing the final exams. But it’s really a magical experience. To see him ride is everything to me, not to mention all the other bonus, like movie night yesterday, all the autographs and lots of pictures with him. And of course one time when he called my name, and asked me to come forward. This must be the only time he might do that at all, ever, lol. And at the horse show and dinner time, when I was doing my volunteering job, he starred at me for quite a bit, well he’s wearing his sunglasses so i can’t see his eyes. But I guess it’s just “well here comes this werido Asian kid who couldn’t even answer my simple question” lololololol... but it all doesn’t matter tho since next time (if there will be), he will forget everyone. 

Also the question I prepared, because I just got scared for a little second right after he said now you can ask me question... and missed the chance to bring up the first question, it’s so hard to ask questions later. And the only time he finally picked me, after I only said half of what i want to say, my friend cut in, and well? All the reflection I had last night about his acting, and the question I thought of, was cut there... well I might ask him at STLV though. 

But whatever it is, he’s just cute and beautiful, and so down to Earth that no one can even imagine, and constantly showing his “old dude” face, that just reminds every normal elders in the world, not annoying at all, but just cute. And at night, when Neal McCoy sang for the people, he’s doing his best of his usual, normal “i'm a respected celebrity” face, but still swinging his head a bit when Neal started to sing some rocks. And especially when Neal started to sing Bill’s favorite song, they continuously shouted at each other on and off the stage in a friendly way of course, and Bill’s just just any normal teenager boy’s being annoying lololol

Also starring deep into his eyes is so magical. Those eyes have universe in them u know. 

It’s just... if I’m not in such a bad mood, I could write another thousands of words of how amazing he is. but well...

So be it. 

[something almost forgot. He got a 0 score today in one of his trial riding because he went to the wrong lane. When he came back to be with the fan club members, he’s a little bit of embarrassed, but not really annoyed. “this is fucking (*silent*) nuts! ” ]

[corn-and-cheese]

An Honest Warning

It's been three years since I found out I'm schizophrenic. Before this happened to me I had three jobs and I was going to college. I had everything that I wanted and the next day I lost it all in a heartbeat. Just like that I started to hear demonic voices, which I believe are the enemy (aka Reptilians; aka the ever-elusive Illuminati). The voices are still bothering me—they don't stop—they bother me 24/7. Even while I'm typing this they are still bothering me. I write this blog for those reading this, who want to understand my pain and suffering. These voices say things like: He doesn't love God; He's talking shit about God's mother; He wants to have kids with God's mother; He doesn't like his own mother; He thinks his mom is ugly; He's after Kim Kardashian's money—it’s funny because before Kim I was making money and I didn’t care about anybody up ‘til now in my life. Those are some examples and the list goes on. What bothers me is that—believe it or not folks—our Almighty God believes the enemy instead of me but it’s more than that; the people you cherish and adore also believe the enemy. The reason I decided to type this blog is because, believe it or not, our Lord and Savior is coming back a second time and two-thirds are going to hell. The remaining will be away from God's wrath. If you don’t believe me read the Bible. I honestly care about everyone, whether they believe me I couldn’t care less, because those people (celebrities) you love watching on TV are dead and I’m the only one that knows the truth. So, I share this information with you my fellow Americans. If this doesn’t work, meaning it doesn’t wake anybody up, then humanity as we know it will be lost. After numerous events I've become more bitter, self-independent, and a tad bit humbled. Because of God I feel disconnected with my family and friends—being disconnected with family and friends comes with schizophrenia and doctors (the so-called professionals) tell me I’m not schizophrenic but they're wrong. I believe God took me away from work so I could fulfill His will without being distracted by the words of others. It turns out I really am schizophrenic. I read an article a couple of years ago saying that schizophrenia is the gate between the demonic world, and I believe that—like I said—the enemy (aka Illuminati) are in my head as we speak and the only people who believe me are my editor and my boy, Ace Boogie. I consider everyone else to be children of the matrix. What is the matrix, you say? It’s simple: It’s an illusion made by the enemy (aka the global elite; aka Illuminati). I believe you (the children of the matrix) will never get out and when they finally find out it will be too late for them. Again, my fellow Americans, I write this so you can prepare yourselves for the upcoming disaster that is upon us on Earth.           I know what you’re saying: This guy is lying his butt off; or too much sugar in his apple juice; or even worse, he just wants attention. If I wanted attention I’d go to a bar and hit on a girl, but that’s not the case. Laugh at me if you want. Everyone out there has a crush on somebody, or liked anyone for that matter, but for the past two years I have had a crush on Kim Kardashian (lol); the problem is the one you see now on TV is a humanoid. The humanoid is a being with artificial intelligence, but the catch is they need the human brain from the original, and yes—the real Kim died a long time ago—believe it or not—the only reason you would disagree is that the humanoid looks like the real one. After numerous allegations and trust issues I’ve decided to let go of these feelings; the only problem there is that I get racing thoughts to the point that I cannot get her out of mind, and it’s because of this damn curse that has been given to me. Again, let me remind you I never wanted this to happen to me. After numerous times researching schizophrenia I've come to believe that I may be the prophet of the Lord—and I believe this not because of Satan in my head, but because I believe in the supernatural. I will never forget how the Lord called me to carry out his will. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was working in TJ Maxx in Salem, Ma, on Highland Avenue. I had clocked in after my first job, which was Market Basket (also in Salem), tying up my shoes in the bathroom and then—all of a sudden—what I call supernatural, the lights were off for about to two to three seconds. My first thought was: GOD. I went to the hallway to see if any other lights were off and then realized what happened in the bathroom was supernatural. Awesome, right? I think so. The reason I believe in all of this is because in the bible (Malachi 4:5) it clearly says:

Behold, I will send Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. . . . And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.

                  In 2010, the Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez (who at some point was alive but later killed by the ever-elusive Illuminati) claimed that HAARP, or a program like it, triggered the Haiti earthquake. The High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP) is, I believe, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Our Satanic Government, however, (aka the Illuminati) are saying it’s in Alaska, but if you believe that then you are part of the problem—hence why I say you are children of the matrix. For those who don't know what the Illuminati is it’s a group of the global elite, the thirteen most powerful families, and their only goal is a New World Order. In other words: to rule over God's children, distract us, and kill us while they're doing it. At this point, I believe I am the only one on Earth right now that's out of the matrix. That means that I don't watch the TV news and I don’t read the morning newspaper because they control the media. They control everything that we do on Earth. They're even spying on us. Believe it or not, it’s true. Everything you do—like, watch movies, sitcoms, TV shows, and anime, even playing video games—is a distraction while they kill more of God's children. For example, the children that go missing every year—the children that we, the American people, do not care about—well guess what, they’re dead. And if you keep up with the I don’t care attitude you will be next. You don’t have to believe me, but when a friend, relative, or family member goes missing—and I mean missing for months and years—it’s safe to say they’re dead, and guess who killed them: again, the ever-elusive Illuminati. The Illuminati are so good at hiding things from us, such as their existence on Earth. But that's because we fall for their tricks, so they deceive us easily. Also, the government we knew, such as Congress, the United Nations, the FBI, the CIA, and IRS, are all dead and the ones replacing them are a mix of Reptilians (aka alien shapeshifters) and humanoids. Every government member and celebrity you love and cherish are dead. You don’t have to believe me, but when the Lord comes a second time you will know and finally realize that I—my fellow Americans—was trying to warn you before it became too late.           If you remember the last speech that JFK gave in his own words:

Even today, there is little threat of opposing a secret society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions. Even today, there is little value in insuring the future of our nation if our traditions do not survive with it and there is great danger that an announced need for increased security will be seized upon by those anxious to expand its meaning to the very limits of official censorship and concealment—that I do not intend to allow to permit to the extent that it is in my control.

For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies primarily on covert means for expanding its sphere of influence—on infiltration instead of invasion—on subversion instead of elections—on intimidation instead of free choice—on guerillas by night instead of armies by day.

It is a system which has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly-knit, highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, intelligence, economic, scientific, and political operations. Its preparations are concealed, not published. Its mistakes are buried, not headlined. Its dissenters are silenced, not praised. No expenditure is questioned, no rumor is printed, no secret is revealed.

JFK was the best president we had on Earth. He tried to warn us he was killed by a hitman from our Satanic government (aka the Illuminati). JFK knew something that God's people didn't: He knew how corrupted the Federal Reserve was so the Illuminati put a hit on JFK because he was going to dismantle the Federal Reserve.           Now, back to how I have feelings for Kim Kardashian—two things attracted me to her: 1. The sex tape with Ray J; 2. if you remember the internet-breaking pic, it just blew my mind. Ever since then I grew to like her, but now I see her as a fellow sister of Christ, it’s better that way. The reason being the voices (aka Satan) in my head have persuaded Kim, as well as the other celebrities, the angels, and—believe it or not—God to believe what they’re saying is true when it's not. So now, I got to prove to all of them that I need to get back to work for the three-year loss thanks to your so-called Savior Lord Jesus Christ. My yearly income was 16–18 thousand dollars a year. Our Savior owes me $18,000 x 3 = $54,000. He can keep that. I'll make more when I go to school and get my bachelor's degree in business administration, then get a good-paying job. What I'm aiming for is 60–100,000 a year to support myself and my future family and give money to my local church and donate to real charities. And another thing—the charities that you, the people of the United States, have donated to will never go to a good cause. Believe it or not, it’s going to our Satanic government. Now, you’re probably confused at this point and you’re wondering how I know this. All I can say is that God . . . believe it or not, He gave me the holy spirit to discern what's right from wrong. In other words, I'm a little bit smarter than most; and most say I'm crazy, but I'm not.           You know what really grinds my gears? When you say something and no one takes it seriously. I tell you now, my fellow Americans, do not—I repeat—do not listen to Satan (aka Reptilians; aka the Illuminati). If I wasn't getting bypass surgery soon I'd be smoking weed. I have a friend who is waiting for me to go through the surgery hoping that I get my mind out of this GOD vs Satan dilemma. To be honest, how stupid is this? People in heaven have died to the enemy and yet blame their deaths on me. What the fuck? You died. Get over it. You had your chance; now get off my back about it. The enemy is really good at persuading even the good guys. I know it sounds weird, but if you heard voices in your head 24/7 you would believe me. The level of stupidity never ceases to amaze me. It's sad but I'm more motivated to prove to these people—and the enemy (aka the Illuminati) in my head—wrong. Right now, people are easily distracted by them; it's like JFK said: “Mistakes are buried, not headlined.” We as the people need to wake up, unite, and go after the enemy. Before we know it, humanity will be lost. As twelve million Americans know: The United States government is run by lizard people, or to be accurate . . . Reptilians. Reptilians are shapeshifters, they eat us humans, have green scaly skin, have low blood pressure, and have eyes like a snake.           Barack Obama is a Reptilian and hates Israel. Joe Biden, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Ted Cruz, Dennis Kucinich, Donald Rumsfeld—all these people are Reptilians, which means our government is nothing but Reptilians. The Global elite (aka the Illuminati) is led by these thirteen most powerful families in the world that control everything from politics to terrorism. The thirteen bloodlines are said to have unimaginable connections to wealth and power. These families are from everywhere, Europe to China: The Astor, Bundy, Collins, Dupont, Freeman, Kennedy, Li, Onassis, Rockefellers, Russell, Van Duyn, Merovingian, and Rothschild bloodlines. The enemy's master plan is to divide and conquer. They are dividing God's people so during the chaos they can devour every single one of us. Dividing us makes it easier for them. They are planning to leave planet Earth by the year 2020, but I’ve come to believe that they will leave sooner than 2020. Now, this is the good part: our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is coming for his bride (aka the people; aka his beloved children). Sounds good doesn’t it? The only problem is that if you do not believe in the Lord you will pay a heavy price. I will not mention what that heavy price is, but after reading thoroughly you can get an idea of what I mean.           Please understand that I’m only trying to help, but if you choose to live rebelliously then more power to you. Everyone wants to go to Heaven, but in the Bible, it clearly says: “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:13–14). I leave with one more thing; if you plan to see our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ wipe out our Satanic Government (aka the global elite; aka the Illuminati) once and for all say this prayer out loud right now:

Dear God, I want to be a part of your family. You said in Your Word that if I acknowledge that you raised Jesus from the dead, and that I accept Him as my Lord and Savior, I would be saved. God, I now say that I believe. You raised Jesus from the dead and He is alive and well. I accept Him as my personal Lord and Savior. I accept my salvation from sin right now.

I am now saved. Jesus is my Lord. Jesus is my Savior. Thank you, Father God, for forgiving me, saving me, and giving me eternal life with You. Amen!

—R.G.

 ____________________________________________________________

(The following entry was sent a couple of days after the first part. —Editor’s notes)

My fellow Americans, I believe that the Lord Jesus Christ’s Second Coming is upon us. The enemy has already devoured or killed everyone from most third world countries and now their last destination is the United States of America we are the last line of defense before the arrival of the Lord: Jesus Christ. We, as fellow Americans, should stand together and spread the love and knowledge of Jesus Christ. If you choose to ignore my warning all I can say is there will be dire consequences for not listening. You will be targeted by the ever-elusive Illuminati. The enemy plans to leave Earth before 2020—that means they're going to finish off the rest of us. By getting you to believe everything in the media they will manipulate us, the children of the matrix, distracting us long enough to kill the remainder of God's children, humanity’s final survivors.           That’s not the only way the enemy will attack. Our Satanic Government is adding fluoride to our GMOs (genetically modified organisms; aka our food system). Now, fluoride has been approved by “professional doctors”—who I think are either dead or working for the Illuminati—and the FDA—who I also believe are dead or working for the Illuminati. Both organizations have said fluoride is good for you but guess what? My fellow Americans, fluoride is actually extremely bad for you. Side effects of fluoride are abdominal pain, abnormal taste in the mouth (a salty or soapy taste), seizures, diarrhea, drooling, eye irritation (upon eye contact), headache, heart attack, irregular or slow heartbeat, nausea and vomiting, shallow breathing, body tremors, and weakness. When people start dying from fluoride don’t be surprised, because I won’t be. And yet, they tell you fluoride is good for you because they want to keep you blind—to keep you from knowing the truth. If you believe what these “professional doctors” say then you, my friend, are the problem and a child of the matrix.           One more thing, I suffer from depression (from my beautiful mother) and what I do to handle my depression is listen to Kid Cudi, the best MC to listen to when you’re going through depression. I recommend his album Man on the Moon. I hope I get to see him one day.

          My fellow Americans, I know you probably think I despise the Lord, but because we’re getting close to the arrival of the Lord, Jesus Christ, it has become clear to me that God was the only one who had my back from day one; and yes, my fellow Americans, Jesus is my Savior and Heavenly Father. If you are reading this blog, please take care of my family. I believe when I die the Illuminati will target every single one of them. I’ve told them, but they don’t believe me. Let them know that I am the prophet of the Lord and that I simply tried to warn you. “‘Truly I tell you,’ he continued, ‘no prophet is accepted in his hometown’” (Luke 4:24). My fellow Americans, if you want to help then believe the truth of what I'm saying. Wake up others by telling them about this blog. You will discover the truth on Judgement Day and see that—in fact—I wasn't lying to you. I love you all, stay blessed and continue to grow in the knowledge of the Lord, Jesus Christ, Amen. Thank you for hearing me out and reading this blog. It’s given me peace of mind.

RIP: 1988–Whatever Year I Die.

—R.G.

[shytiff]

Small July Wins

1 - atikah and racheel came over, oa webinar (rheumatology), duolingo (DL)

2 - they ended up sleeping over, DL, "attended" pak Kus' webinar just becausee hes my skripsi advisor

3 - a page of padi cbt, idai webinar (respiratory disease in covid era), DL

4 - ran 3 laps in my house complex (afterwards my heart was pounding against my chest), hopecardis webinar (arrythmia), DL

5 - 1 ma article (moluskum kontagiosum), perkani webinar (congenital heart disease), DL

6 - DL, idai webinar (pregnancy and newborn stuff in covid era), put sheet mask on lol i neglect my face a lot lately

7 - accompanied juan with mom to perbanas institute for sbmptn, while waiting we went to lucky cat and imeri to get apd, picked up juan, went to social pot (kokas) afterwards, DL. Lucky cat was empty, the vibes of a cafe felt new to me (it surely has been a while). I felt super refreshed. Did some writing for ma article there. Tried salmon and black olive spaghetti, caesar salad, mom drank piccolo. The spaghetti kinda tasted like mi telor but with salmon lol. Talked and laughed plenty with mom :) i rarely talk with her nowadays. Im glad the awkwardness melted away

8 - videocalled with apa salahku for gaby's birthday, zoom for school prep (covid safety stuff), a bit of cbt padi, DL

9 - negative rapid test alhamdulillah, fk digital (kejang anak), cbt padi, DL

10 - some exercise, talked with shiko on zoom, DL, aand since i started padi CBT i finished 2 tryouts (150 questions). It’s not a lot but Im proud of myself :)

11 - went to tj duren with ara, but while we wait the n95 seller we went to citraland, tried fried salmon roll at shigeru, ended up meeting the guy at cl, afterwards we got pisang goreng madu bu nanik, went to rodalink pesanggrahan, ended up getting seirockya at puri, and then i dropped ara off at tj duren. Theeen i went to devis place to hang out and sleepover. Lots of foods. Delicious "lava cake" made from instant brownie mix. Played werewolf. In the morning i managed to finish the pre and post tests in OCI Covid. Happy tummy and laughter :) i hope i can be more productive after this

12 - DL (thank god i freezed streak for weekend because i completely forgout about it yesterday), during sleepover @ devi’s we watched love for sale, a copy of my mind, and love for sale 2. The frustration is real bruh we rly wanted to know more about Arini. Did UKDMA (2 attempts, score: 24, 58), wrote 1 MA article, sorted my downloads folder a bit. After ‘wasting’ (happy times is never a wasted time but still, there’s stuff to do) my time yesterday i felt more urge to do something useful

13 - actually started my day with DL and padi cbt wow (brain still fresh from sleep), CBD about BPPV with dr Widayat. Since ive experienced one before i asked and asked and asked lmaooo. Packed up some of the stuff for tomorrow, hoping to not forget things. Read the journal for litrev before bed

14 - DL, first day of school after a while -- turns out weight distribution is key to avoid sore butt LOL. You kinda have to also support your body weight on your feet. Theres no sore butt at all during my 50 mins trip (amazing feat if you ask me). Went to poli rhinologi (DPJP: dr niken) she kindly gave me a patient to examine, and casually told me to put anterior tampon. I, who have never attempted it, was holding back my fear of trying something new lol. Alhamdulillah, i can somehow do it (even though one tampon fell, tiffany paboooo). The ppds kindly explained stuff to me and i feel like i shamelessly ask nowadays. Like it would be a waste not to ask something. Next was CBD @ Ara’s, we ate Ayam Bakar Mas Walid. Liqo with kak Kartika.

15 - DL, did litrev in the morning bcs i fell asleep lmaoo, tweaked tumblr a bit (i like low contrast the most), fell asleep while watching larynx anatomy video until 1:30 pm yalll i missed half of cbd. Tried to read stuff for poli larfar tomorrow.

16 - DL, ppds i met today lives in poris and worked at puskesmas kalideres lmaoo. Had a bit of headache and gassy stomach that felt better after sleeping and eating. thank god i was picked up by mom and theres food and stuff. i guess the difference of being at home and kosan is that you kinda remember more who youre fighting for. my mind felt healthy-ish lately, of some sort. but the headache made me sluggish

17 - DL, nevermind about the healthy mind part lmaoo

18 - DL, physical activity, padi cbt (after 200 questions i was today years old when i realized there were answer keys on telegram 👁️👄👁️), read optima tht batch 1 2020. Watched khs playing chess blindfolded against try guys and then i was purely amazed by what the human brain can do. It somehow motivated me to study lol

19 - DL, finished optima pem tht batch 1 2020, made 1 cbd ppt, webinar "holistic skin rejuvenation", free mindset tryout

20 - DL, haven’t got minicex but at least im trying to stay hopeful!1!, read the notes from today’s cbd since i basically only heard the whole thing on my motorbike like a podcast, did nasal irrigation n took a slow release vit c

21 - started the day with some stretches and squats, trying to drink more water!!, listened to kak dela's tips for ukmmpd from mindset, DL, read a bit abt epistaxis, the clear wallet i ordered from china finally arrived, edited 1 buku pld article

22 - was in poli onko this morning w ara, a patients consciousness was decreasing so code blue was activated. Finished poli at 1 am. It's been awhile since I last saw emergency situations. Went to maison weiner, ate almond croissant there and bought chocolate sourdough and chicken pie. Despite not getting minicex, the road home was not hot, the sun hidden away. The wind is breezing, podcast is on, talking about mindfulness. Todays quite a good day. Im healthy, insyaAllah. I hope my family will also stay healthy. Woke up at 11ish pm, DL, made my ppt for lcbe exam ((tomorrow)) til 1 am

23 - DL, lcbe exam with dr arie (turns out he picked epistaxis over sinonasal tumour), met up with racheel devi silvi at mcd and jco. Hojicha oreo mcflurry tasted good. Got lost on the way to racheels house lmaoo. She flies to malang tomorrow. Can i wish for life to stay simple and happy forever?

24 - DL, originally meant to be a minicex session turned out to be story time by dr Ezzy, she told us about cases that she managed, one of them is putting on tracheostomy for a baby with Moebius syndrome that went viral on twitter. We didnt even present our case and she only asked us for the scoring form. Thank you doc our lifesaver :”” after trying so hard for minicex the last 2 days turns out maybe its fated so we can meet and be inspired dr Ezzy. Mom picked me and we went to Maison Weiner before going home. Passed out from 6pm until the morning lmao

25 - a bit of exercise, DL, tried kemonyu.id mentai from duta garden, i’ve had better mentai than it but at least its on promo. it uses butter rice so that’s something new to me. rapat nemo to decide dates

26 - DL, liqo with kak Kartika about things you can do in Dzulhijjah, A2, started reading optima pem dv batch 1 2020

27 - DL, round was cancelled bcs no patient, lazed around and slept and lazed, continued reading pem dv optima, did like a half of 1 pamela reif video and my HR soared in 2 mins lmaoo

28 - DL, finally mustered the will to finish DS etika profesi, finished reading optima pem dv batch 1 2020, 2A, did 1 pamela reif video (titled 10 mins calorie burn that wont kill u), read a bit of my dv notes

29 - DL, ppds at poli were so kind!, ate shabu2 by mom and basically fell asleep

30 - DL, made ppt PKL, alhamdulillah PKL went ok with dr ika

31 - watched annabelle comes home and suicide squad with keisha karin juan, DL, relatives came to our place, ara also came for a sleepover and after i picked her up we went to dajens place lmaoo they set up bbq