#can anyone explain this

[easilyentertained99]

I can't explain it in a way that makes sense but I know in my soul that The Magnus Archives would go so hard in czech

[stiffyck]

Good luck during pride month to all the aroaces who are gonna be blasted with "love is love" everywhere

Edit:

This post includes aplatonic people, loveless aros and any other people who fall anywhere on the aro and ace spectrum.

Stop saying "but theres platonic love and familial love-"

[zekuto]

i was obsessed the first time i saw someone post leon on that stupid panda rocker but i was never able to find raw footage of it lol, so i decided to compile leon with all the playground interactions because i love him <3

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[im-a-heartstomper]

using tumblr as a dream journal atp... last night i had a dream where a girl i used to go to school with told me she liked me and we started dating... it was weird... I don't even like her

[mumblesplash]

in honor of last season’s poem being called “”end poem”” (all quotes mandatory) this season i made one out of pieces of the actual end poem

[bicheetopuff]

Horikoshi please I beg, even if you don’t release another manga, GIVE US A HARD COPY OF THIS SCRAP BOOK. I DONT CARE WHO DRAWS IT, I JUST NEED TO KNOW WHATS IN IT

[sad-leon]

would anyone listen to this? the ramblings of a lunatic?

[puppyeared]

good morning sifloop nation

[pmpwbrrs]

Gourmand why are you like this. How can you make living things out of the blue fruit you ate 3 minutes ago. How do you make a living breathing fucking snail? You can't even eat it, and yet you can spit it out, how the hell does that work? Put that thing back!!! Why is it alive??

And how can you make a goddamn neuron from an overseer and. What was this.... Hold on

AND KARMA FLOWER. And how can you make an overseer from neuron+ANYTHING!!!!! FROM ANYTHING!!!!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!

[sainz100]

2024 Brazilian GP | x

[incesthemes]

best kind of character development is where they don't actually become better people in any sense of the word but instead just grow increasingly psychologically dependent on another person for their entire sense of self and value in the world until they define themselves utterly by their place in that other person's world

[spuffybot]

It will never not be super ridiculous that Buffy had to single-handedly protect the world from demons, raise her teenage sister, manage a household, and work a full time job, all at the age of 22 and everyone around her is like “god Buffy just grow up and deal with it, stop acting like it’s hard.”

[demaparbat-hp]

Oh, Lala...

[fadeintoyou1993]

KYLE MACHLACHLAN as Jeffrey Beaumont Blue Velvet (1986) dir. David Lynch

[modmad]

hey Mod,hope you doing well! I wanna ask,what type of pony,or non-pony (like kirin) TPoH characters would be? I have a plan for these :]

oh lordt I watched all of MLP:FIM last year and I have forgotten ALL of it but let me try on the spot after having just woken up sure nothing bad can happen and I definitely won't forget anyone haha

RGB: draconequus Hero: earth pony Dial: pegasus Madras: kirin TOby: earth pony Assok: dragon but like a lil serpent one :P Jullienne: pegasus Melody: yak Cel: gryphon Tinker: bugbear (HEAR ME OUT like. the friendliest bugbear. also green) Tailor: unicorn Click: unicorn