#can I just leave the country already
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People are calling leftists and liberals weird too wtf lmao crazy. Hop off his dick lil bro 😭🙏🏽 Twitter got worse after he came
Elon’s being weird again. Threatening everyone on twitter for calling his weird friends weird.
#elon musk#fuck elon musk#hop off his dick lil bro#hop off of it#dickriding at its finest#fuck trump#fuck america#can I just leave the country already
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Vanha Kauppahalli date: en full, a 2 minute 50 second masterpiece...
Primetime Panthers | 11.6.24 (x)
#aleksander barkov#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#the global series is a gift#“alright talk to me what do we got?” with the camera following behind them makes it seems like theyre spies doing reconnaissance#the start to a thriller where they got sent to finland stake out for intelligence#maffhew not even waiting for sasha to answer before hes asks about chocolate#“the purple one you always bring” maffhew has been charmed by sashas leaving choco in stalls as gifts when he comes back from finland huh#you can tell he says that with depravity of a man who finally realises he doesnt need to rely on his supplier he can get it himself now#“uh oh [laughs] okay... what is this?” maffhew was not prepared for all the food to already be ready for him he just hopped off a plane and#expected to have to wait more and did not and absolutely does not trust the situation in the same way you get romantic candlelit-dinnered#and youre like alright whats all this then whats your angle what are you doing#“this is salmon and rye bread 😄” “(with the eagerness to prove hes smart and engaged) so is that 👉” “(charmed) and so is that 🫱”#“ill try your favourite first” GURL RELAX OKAY SETTLE DOWN YOURE IN A NEW COUNTRY JUST CHILL MAN#“salmon and rye bread—thats the famous one 🤓” [sasha nodding along because he has to reassure maffhew but also hes in the middle of eating]#maffhew choosing the most inopportune time and you can TELL sasha is like [swallows quickly] because he wants to answer but also BIG BITE#“herring” “herrin' 🤠?” “eating all this her-RING” no notes#“is this just another salmon on rye bread” he says with hope because he likes salmon but also disappointment (he wants to try more foods)#“different salmon? smoked?” the amount of questions hes askijg because hes so terribly engaged he wants to know and sashas like [shrug]#he has to get an A+ in experiencing finland which is normal to want and possible to achieve#“i still love your country though” and sasha explodes into the mirthful grin ive seen in my life like he just won the damn jackpot#he speaks at 100 mph like please take a deep breath sweetheart youre excitement is papable but PLEASE#THE WAY HE GETS SO UNSURE WHEN HE MENTIONS BARKY HATES THAT FOOD WHEN HE LIKED IT SO MUCH#MAFFHEW YOU CAN GET A PASSING GRADE IN EXPERIENCING FINLAND IF YOU STICK TO YOUR GUNS I PROMISE#SASHA HELP A GUY OUT HERE MAN THROW HIM A BONE#SASHA ONLY LAUGHS AS MAFFHEW THROWS HIMSELF INTO A TIZZY OVER THIS YOU ARE SOOOOOO#the chuckle when sasha mentions he had runebergin torttu in school... id like to know what was funny there#we call out sasha for being too lovesick and laughing at all of maffhews “jokes” BUT HES JUST AS BAD???#“what the hell do i do with this thing?” MAFFHEW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN MERENGUE IN YOUR LIFE???
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A subtle way you can tell lestat is very selfish and ignorant about race, especially in ep 6 is that he said that they'd go to Argentina, a country which at the time was explicitly looking for white Europeans (including n*zis) to move there after spending decades pushing their black and Indigenous populations to the fringes of society to whiten up the country
#amc iwtv#iwtv#interview with the vampire#lestat de lioncourt#like i dont think hes doing it on purpose#i think he saw somewhere that takes Europeans and he sees claudia and louis as extensions of himself so if he'll be welcomed they'll be too#like i genuinely dont think he thought of moving somewhere that wasnt as segregated for the sake of louis or claudia#and to give the barest of credit. there wereny many places they could both go#lestat isnt allowed in europe cus of armand and them and louis and claudia cant move unencumbered through most of the us bc of segregation#like the only place they could go in the us at the time as an interracial family is ohio (only state with intteraccial marriage in 1940)#and they couldnt even be out there#so i understand leaving the country but picking a place that is already pushing its black population further into the fringes#is just another way to control the movements of louis and claudia. even if lestat doesnt realise or have that intent#like if they decide to leave him when theyre in Argentina theyre literally boned. especially in the 40s when all the n*zis are coming#and tou can see this in other parts of their relationship. like lestat is ok taking louis' to operas where louis has to be a valet to get in#he says that their money had protected them from legal backlash for being gay but not really for louis being black#lestat not getting the multiple microagressions from the lawyer#hell lestat even says “if he had offended you i would have killed him”. implying he doesn't believe that louis had a right to be offended#like lestat is ignorant to race especially in the american context and especially especially in other countries#hes white and french. they invented racism like there is a non 0 chance he saw saarah baartman displayed in a traveling circus in france#like i dont think he is outwardly racist like the alderman or tom but hes ignorant as hell.#he probably didnt see his first black person until he was 25
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i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
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#bleh. i need half the country to pls stop being on fire. id like to go out and run pls. but its so smokey i can barely see the mountain#i live near :-/ also im just tired and frustrated. its incredible how quickly i vasilate between#things r going well. i should stay in my program and work with cyanos forever. to no no no im not cut out for this. i gotta leave. to yay#let me throw myself head first into consuming every second of my life with working. but only on the things that dont require me to think#which is y im not cut out for this and should be bannished to a world of only doing lab work and following instructions#also i have an screening interview monday for an R0DBT group. so i might b going to control freak classes#assuming i cant convince the lady that im not fit for thr class. which obviously i am bc im my therapist listed the ppl who r#usually put into r0dbt and i was like hm im a lot of those things. but also its 2hrs every week and thats a lot of time. and i feel like im#already on the path away from violently structuring my life specifically bc ive done so much damage#ugh. also i have ridiculously high self standards but i only do anything halfway bc i cant fail if i never try 100%.#so im like a fake control freak. or rather i cant even fully commit to being controlling. im lazy and i dont have the drive.#which almost makes it worse bc im stading at this threshold of control where it destroys me but never actually succeeds in being a perfect#thing. which is def a distorted way to think about it but there u go. ugh. im just tired and my arm hurts too much to draw bc#im older and older everyday. and i dont wanna read papers. i dont wanna grade or work on my presentation. i didn't want to spend 3.5 hrs#doing transfers this morning. and my mom's been dead for 6months and 3 days now. and i still dont kno where ill be a year from now#unrelated
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the usamerican is talking about usa stuff again
#i just feel so powerless cuz i cant vote yet but like#and i see people saying shit like 'it doesnt matter theyre both horrible' well one of them is worse. so please vote#like idk voting for kamala wont fix much of anything but that other guy is gonna make everything way fucking worse!#like shit i dont wanna move. my parents were talking about this. i dont wanna leave my home i like it here for the most part#can people just grit their teeth and vote for the clearly less worse option or am i asking too much#idk ill probably delete this later. i dont like talking about politics that much on here#its just exhausting yk?#but i dont wanna live in a country thats more dangerous for me and other people#cuz it already is. i dont wanna take ten steps back
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Can I have a hug
#side effect of slowly getting better is I now have to work out how to have a life after when it feels like I ruined everything#I know I didn’t and my illness would’ve done this eventually but it feels like it cause my degree is worthless now#can’t do any of the jobs that I was going to do anymore#can’t do most entry jobs#can’t do retail or food service or most peoples first jobs#don’t really have irl friends anymore#I’m just. ugh.#my parents said they’d pay for me to go to college again so I can get a degree that works for remote jobs with higher pay than my original#field. which isn’t hard bc that pay was gonna be 20k a year for like six years lmao#and I did stumble across some resources for which doctors can treat my illnesses in Europe so I could try to use it as a way to finally#fucking leave this country but idek how I’d go about getting accepted to a university anywhere if I already have a degree that just doesn’t#work for me anymore#and I’m sad that I can’t do the career I poured my soul into for so long#and I miss my friends and feeling confident#I’m glad I’m getting healthier enough to think about after but I’m terrified and exhausted just thinking about working out how to find what#comes next and what’s possible#and I’m just really really sad#and I’m scared of getting too hopeful about anything#I really miss Austria and people have said I’d really like Germany and I’d love to move but I’m scared I’ll research and find nothing
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🤧🐀🌧️🌊
#need to clear my head;#im in such a bad mood. my face is in a perpetual angry state. im just so so bitter nd pessimistic rn#trying not to get stuck in negative chaos thought spirals nd to just take it as it come#nd be patient bc recovery takes time i know. but i havent been able to feel healthy or functional for 7 months nd i am so tired#i cant help but worry abt my health nd what kinda diet i can have nd how to work all of that out.#like the removal of the gallbladder dont ensure a good digestive system. they remove it bc it can irrepairably hurt u#also im so so stressed out abt school nd my courses. i already had to drop one last week. nd it isnt looking like i'll be able to pass my#eng class.. it just isnt looking like it's realistic at all :/ i personally dont mind if i fail. but i can get issues w my wellfare hmm#bc like im still feeling rough nd u only get sick leave for one week after surgery.. so i have to go on thursday nd friday but im gnna#be in pain plus be so hungry nd be unable to concentrate idk#idk idk!! im already willing to take out loans to finish my upper secondary school.. but i have to make it work w timing nd stuff so im not#sitting here unable to pay rent or the bills or food lmao. so idk have to fix it somehow#nd the pressure of this country rapidly declining state is stressing me tf out!! having nazi conservative rightists in the ruling is just#dreadful!!!! for many reasons but atm idek if i can do distance classes like i wanted to ://#i just.. wanna be able to go for my long walks. go to the gym. eat normally. have coffee. study nd finish highschool.#then apply for whatever program i can nd move to another calmer city. prob eventually find a path to move to another country. like norway..#im thinking too much but my thoughts are spinning nd killing me like i cant stop it im so scared nd anxious lmao 💀#im also trying to be brave and write to the psych clinic for personality disorders nd be upset nd 'beg' them for help ksksksks.#but like... the thing abt having avpd is that i kinda dont wanna bc im scared of the possibility of them helping me lol#im just in a low place nd bad headspace and it's just getring worse nd im getting more nd more tired#i dont have much more energy to keep it together nd pretend like im ok or like i have hope lmaoooo idk what to do#anyway... idk idk guess i just gotta .. keep crawling forward anyway i can
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”It’s inherently immoral and bad to be a white person in a colonist country” WELL DAMN I DIDN’T ASK TO BE BORN BUT OKAY THEN.
(As a disclaimer in case this post gets derailed, I am NOT talking about giving natives their land back. I wholeheartedly support that and I think they deserve it. This is about a weird and stupid thing I saw on this Webbed Site that proposed we get rid of white people in the US entirely.)
#It’s inherently classist to think that people can just up and fucking leave to live in a different country because you say so.#Obviously colonialism is bad but my sibling in Christ#It already happened. White people live there now and trying to “fix it” would leave millions of people hungry and homeless.#Now the only thing we can do is try to make a better community for everyone (natives and foreigners alike) instead of pushing people out#It is not immoral to live in a place and be from a certain group. You didn’t choose to be born there and neither did your parents.#There’s also white immigrants you have to take into account. Would you like to displace them as well?#I’ve seen this sentiment floating around on Tumblr and let me just say that it’s the most braindead bullshit I’ve ever heard.#only on tumblr#ffs actually think about the logistics and ethics of what you’re planning to do before you open your damn mouth.#Colonialism is bad and evil and I obviously think reparations are in order (And they have been for a LONG DAMN TIME)#But demonizing millions of (mostly working class) people and leaving them all homeless and countryless is a Terrible Fucking Idea#This is prime Tumblr social justice where someone takes a pretty popular sentiment and spins it into something completely batshit crazy#Social justice#Colonialism#usa#united states#america
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#weird shit nobody talks about is grief and chronic illness#i have irritable bowel syndrome#and i’ve been traveling for several months#when i was in the US last yr it was a dark time for my health#constant flare ups#because of the stress i was under#from my shit ass job#anyways since i’ve been traveling i feel amazing#little to no flare ups#and little pain from eating#which.. is partly bc i can avoid my allergens easier like onions#because countries actually put a whole ingredients list on the menus but not the US lol#but holy fucking shit#in the past 72 hours i’ve been in so much pain#i’m having a flare up because of this tragedy#also because i was stupid and ate grapes yesterday#god i miss grapes 😭#anyways. it’s comparably better to when my grandma died when i was studying abroad in the same city i’m in now#and was grieving all alone#because i’m medicated properly now#but yeah. it just sucks#i’m already in enough pain emotionally and mentally because of this#but now i’m in physical pain too and can’t leave my house to get the fresh air i desperately need rn
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Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care
#i have 14 hours overtime#collected within 2 weeks lol#you know how it's apparently mandatory for companies in germany to have a way track employees working time? yeah we're#the only company in the whole fucking country who doesn't do that (obviously that's not true there's probably plenty more but it's#still not right.) so we don't get paid overtime nor does it get acknowledged in any way#so technically we're not allowed to even it out (which most people try to do anyway because tf do they think they are asking us to work for#free) but I'm dedicated to not collect any more unpaid working hours so i take the liberty to leave work early this week#so today i left at 12pm (and then got home 4 hours later because another person decided to kill themselves by train. they should call me#first. or anyone else taking the train. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers to do the killing if it means not another miserable day#stuck in a disgusting train). and i logged in again at 6pm today to see if i have anything important messages (stupid i know)#and i saw the missed calls and that there had been an email exchange with me in the cc talking about the 'changes' made in one of the#articles and that someone else could do that for me since i couldn't be reached and at first i felt ashamed and scared#but now it's honestly just pissing me off. that asshole can't write emails and communicate requests like normal people can he#he already called me last week about something completely stupid and acts like his matters are the most important shit in the world#fuck you if you can't wait one day you should have sent this a month earlier because i won't stay online everyday#just to see if there might be an 'important' change you want me to make Immediately. bitch.#also missed two calls from my colleague but she didn't send any messages about what she wanted so i asked her because i felt bad for not#being online and turns out she wanted Nothing. just hear how i was. JUST TEXT ME THEN???? I HATE IT HERE FUCK YOU#seriously i don't get paid enough for this to bother me so much. she probably gets 12-15€ more than me per hour#of course she doesn't care about her overtime as much as i do. i get minimum wage which is less than what I'd get if i still worked at uni#as a student assistant so fuck this shit it's really not important or worth it. from now on i'll only put in minimum effort too#sorry got carried away. rant over now i guess#void screams#work stuff
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at this point i don't even know if i'll even be alive at the end of this year.
#vent#i'm stuck at my mom's place and i fucking hate it here. i hate being misgendered every day and being treated like a burden#i hate that i'm in the goddamn woods while all my friends are in another town#i hate that every time i try and get assistance i get tossed from phone number to phone number in one big fucked up circle#and i ESPECIALLY hate my old roommates for fucking off to the cities and leaving me behind with nowhere to go FUCK#it feels like life is only going to get worse for me from here on out and its like. whats even the point anymore dude.#not to mention the stress i already feel from this stupid fucking country's antics and being unemployed#can someone just put me out of my fucking misery already jesus fucking christ
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siiiiiiigh
#i am in fact a grown adult who is still incapable of talking about their feelings and thoughts to people so I'll just rant here#my relationship with my mother is. so weird. it's not always bad but it always ends up bad for one reason or another#she can be perfectly civil and i'll still be irritated. other times i do try to tolerate it and engage and she ends up saying something#upsetting to me either way.#i don't want to keep being rude to her i don't want to get mad and annoyed all the time but i just can't stop. it's always like this#and i hate myself for it and i hate her and i hate everything about it#today i was leaving for work and she was like. i'll take the trash out of your room and i told her not to do it. she kept insisting and i#had to raise my voice at her to maybe get the point across to get her not to touch anything#and yes my room is a fucking mess and it is something to be embarrassed of. i just feel so fucking tired all time time and i keep tellin#myself that i will clean it this time for sure and then i don't. most of the time it's my mother taking care of it without my permission#and i am grateful for it bc nobody likes living in a mess... but i also fucking hate it because it makes me feel even more worthless#i just can't get rid of the feeling of shame. no matter what i do.#and back to the mother thing. i told her that if she touches anything i will go to her room and throw out anything that isn't nailed down#even though objectively i have no reason to oppose her helping me#but i also fucking hate it#maybe being rude is the only way to get it across. but also i get irritated about anything so easily#i feel shittier and shittier every day. had there been an easy and painless way of killing myself i would have done it already#and despite how much i want to blame this on a disorder or lack of access to medication. there is no magic pill that would fix me is there#i'm just a shitty person who cannot get it together despite everything being handed to me#i'm literally bad at anything and everything. i'm not even a good blogger lmao#people have it much worse in life and still do better. me? i'm useless. there's no helping it. i should have died from covid or something#nobody will save me. nobody cares enough. besides one person whom i push away because i can't stand her and i don't even know why 👍#if i stop messaging people first most of them would forget about me#i am alone. a lonely person in a messy room desperately trying to be entertaining so someone will pay a little bit of attention to me.#not to mention the geopolitics#i won't even go there. i hate the possibility that people might see it mentioned and give me shit for it#one more thing that is apparently my fault. directly or indirectly#all i want is to leave this country. spend the day with someone who cares for me like an actual friend. and then shoot myself so i don't#have to go back#sealene.txt
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eu4 gives me performance anxiety. i always feel like i should be near a world conquest in 1550 and not enjoying the game like i want to (slow paced, realistic, chill).
maybe i should slow the play speed even more. i play on 3 which is already a slow speed.
#eu4#in my current game as netherlands i conquered almost all of the low countries before admin tech 10#then i felt comfortable leaving the hre when i hit tech 10 and i can take the rest later (if ever#it's a great start but if you're netherlands you're already playing against 4 other ai colonisers which is not usually the case#if you play as a coloniser in the game since the netherlands isn't formed by the ai most games#so i just ignored the new world and focused on africa on the way to asia (until i get stronger or rich enough to hire mercs and take#historical voc lands and take colonial nations from other countries)#left to my own i'd paint the map through africa before reaching asia but i know i have to claim rich provinces fast#and i feel like i'm on a race against the ai#i'm fine never snowballing and conquering gb i just want to play the game#but i feel silently judged by the anti casual voices in my head#i wish therapy were cheaper
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Will you comment on the Peru situation? Twitter is saying a lot of craziness and I just want to hear what's true
As always, I would advise against using Twitter as an informational resource and suggest relying instead on official channels for insight and updates.
At this point, the available facts are that tonight's show was cancelled by the local government because the promoters failed to obtain the permits necessary to hold the show. According to fans that spoke with authorities, this was a known issue weeks ago but the band and their team were not made aware until they were turned away when they arrived at the venue. The decision to cancel the show was completely out of their hands.
There's not much else to report at this point, it's just an unfortunate situation that was poorly handled by the promoters/venue and I feel bad for both the band and the fans that were looking forward to the show. 💙
#if and when the band comments I will of course post but it's hard to know when that will be or what they can say tbh#supposedly they're already on their way out of the country which makes sense to me tbh#it appeared as tho most fans went from the venue to their hotel so them leaving is the safest thing for everyone at this point#sad to end such an exciting run of shows like this and obviously v sad for the fans who have waited years to see them#also#once again the gentlest of reminders that i am but a lowly fan running a lowly fan blog#not even an update account! I just like to fawn over these dudes in real time so that's why i post stuff so fast 😂😂#anyways typically I'm going to know as much about breaking news as you guys do#sometimes you might know more! i was literally napping when this all went down today 😂😭#I'm of course always happy to discuss/help sift thru the noise for clarity but just wanted to bring that up again 😉#altho being asked for comment made me feel very official and important 😌#5sos hire Crystal officially 2024#ask#anon#the 5sos show#the 5sos show tour lima
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Well. Today's a bit rough.
#I mean beyond my general money troubles right now#(Pension is wonderful but not when it takes $1600 off my collective biweekly paycheques and leaves me with under $800/month to live on)#(In a country where four staple grocery items can cost $65; phone plans are easily over $50/month; basic dog food is over $100/month; etc)#It is hard to sit and work while my sisters constantly go out and do things#I got a bunch of texts from them from a waterpark today of them with my niece and I just feel awful.#I already know I am... left out of family things so to speak. I'm the eldest and easily forgotten#Even just down to birthdays mine was basically last minute and I don't get a birthday dinner like my sisters etc#But oof. That reminder hit hard today getting those pictures#When my mood was already trending towards the dreaded melancholy#They do not even ask me to go to thinks with them#They went to the hockey game the other night and I didn't even get an invite even though I was available#text#chey.txt
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