#calling me out for the self rbs but I have no shame | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lovrsm · 2 months ago

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“ꜱʟᴜᴛ!”

sum: Ferraris golden boy moves over to RedBull Racing Team.

Daughter of the CEO of Red Bull, you’ve grown to love racing, and in the way making new friends. Even if you felt like your world was falling apart, even when you denied it, he was the only one you needed. And there was absolutely nothing that could change his mind about your beautiful self, the way he loves you.

word count:idk, prb 2k

pairing: rb!charles leclerc x horner!reader

warnings: name calling, alcohol, smut f! receiving, first time writing real horny shit!

a/n: sorry for the long intro, I swear it’s worth it😔✋ LOOOL, I WROTE THIS LIKE A YEAR AGOO, and I rlly wanted to clear up my drafts but this is too good to not come out. Yet idk if I have any mistakes, if I do let me know!! Also, checo acting as a dad (#IloveCheco)

Spotify - Apple Music

ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

“and I break down, then he’s pullin’ me in In a world of boys, he’s a gentleman”

Clink, clink, that’s what our champagne glasses sounded like together.

“Congratulations, what a wonderful year. It’s been a pleasure being with all of you.” Sergio, Checo Perez, made a brief goodbye to your team.

He was leaving Red Bull. Everyone here loved him, and loves him, including yourself. He became quickly your family after seeing him every day for more than 3 years.

“We will miss you” your dad palms his back, making Checo break a smile.

“It isn’t the end yet, you know that boss.” He laughed.

His reasons? Family, everything for him, he couldn’t bare leaving them anymore alone, so he decided after, several years, to leave formula 1. After helping Max to win his championships, he is a fucking legend.

“Well, I won’t leave you alone, I will still drag you everywhere, you know? Even after you leave.” Max and Checo have developed a very special bond, even if social media said otherwise.

“We, wont leave you alone, you still owe me those therapy sessions” I winked at him, he became a very big emotional support for me, believe it or not, he’s got some great advice to give.

“Lovely dinner” I took a picture of all of us with my camera, a goodbye dinner for Checo, and tomorrow, all of the world would see this on the newspaper.

“I really don’t know what to do, do you know how many drivers have reached us out in the last 2 hours? I mean, I have a few options but they keep giving me more reasons and… I just don’t know.” My dad was stressed, typing in his computer as if his life depended on it.

“It’s going to be alright, okey? You don’t necessarily need to worry about it right now, we still have a championship to win, you know?” I gave him a cup of tea, just so he could relax a bit.

When something is about work, everything else doesn’t matter. At all.

“We’ll watch your options, alright? I can help you with anything you want” I smiled at him.

“When did you became such a great business woman?”

“You’re my father, of course I’m hardworking.”

“Red Bull did it again, Max Verstappen and Sergio Perez, world champion and sub-champion!”

Screams from Max and Checo blasted my ears, P1 and P2, again. Absolutely no mistakes. The internet going crazy. And somehow it all became quiet.

“Who will get that Red Bull seat next year? Will he be a fit to Sergio Perez place?”

Everyone went outside to celebrate, while I stayed so I could hear the TV and media.

what do people want?

“Ferrari didn’t have a great year, let’s hope they both get a better car”

“I agree! Great drivers, such a shame Ferrari has been getting worse every year. What a waste of talent.” The other interviewer said.

Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz appeared in the screen. Both with an obvious forced smile plastered in their faces.

Charles, my secret crush ever since… forever. Was I obvious? Not a single soul knew, well, except him.

Charles Leclerc signed in RedBull that was the only thing appearing on my feed right now . Red bull? Bullshit, you mean? What kind of a big lie is that?

Internet was filled with Charles leaving Ferrari for RedBull.

In what twisted universe does that even happen?

I later learned, I am living in that twisted world, and I discovered the great news in social media, and not my own team.

“What do you mean Charles Leclerc, dad? Why wasn’t I even informed about this. Wait, hold on, when did it even crossed your mind?!” I was dignified.

Following around the kitchen.

“I didn’t have to, oh, I do think I need to tell you this, he’s coming to dinner tonight so wear something nice.”

Wear something nice.

Thanks dad, as always, you’re so, so great.

Night time came sooner than expected, if my dad hosts a dinner, even if there’s a million, or just one person coming over, he likes to be extra.

Almost time, 8:00 and it is 7:50, all that was missing was the dress. It was placed on my bed. Showing all of it’s beauty.

Navy blue, our color. It was my dream dress.

Light, silky and fancy dress.

I walked downstairs, watching people running and arranging everything, doing just the final touches.

I’ve come to learn, that people arrive late, or just in time. Never earlier.

“Ah, what a beautiful young woman I have here!” Geri, my father’s wife came to greet me.

“You look amazing, I knew that dress would be perfect for you!”

“Geri, you are amazing, seriously. Thank you, and look at you! We both look gorgeous.” I smiled at her and we linked arms, she and I were walking towards the garden, where would be the dinner.

Some big, round, wooden tables were set in the middle. Each seat would have a name, decorated with a white flower in the middle of the plate.

It was easy to find my place. I was at the biggest one of all, where the most important people of this night would be seated.

Lucky for me, his name was right next to my plate.

In a matter of seconds, people started to arrive, old friends, and new faces passed through those doors.

This will be a great night.

“Funny to find you here, it’s been some time since I last saw you…” I rolled my eyes, I (sadly) recognized that voice anywhere.

“Go away Mike.” I grabbed my wine glass and took a big sip out of it. “C’mon princess, where are your manners?” He got too close to me.

“Hey y/n! Your dad was looking for you, like right now.” Max Verstappen here to save my day.

“Oooh that’s unfortunate, I’m so so so sorry Mike, hope to see you later!” I waved him off and quickly moved towards Max who then friendly linked his arm with mine.

“I owe you one.” I sighed. “You owe me much more than 1, little one.” I laughed at him.

We got close to my father, who now had a microphone at his hand.

“Hello everyone, thank you for coming here and be with us tonight. A toast for Checo here!” He announced and a light was shining on Checo, standing from his seat.

“It has been a wonderful year, sadly it has to end. And I know I’m not the first to tell you that an incredible young talent will be joining us for next season.”

There he was. Navy suit with our logo on him. His hair was messy yet perfectly placed. He showed his dimples and I’m sure I heard someone behind me moan at his sight.

My heart rate was increasing slowly but surely.

“y/n, you’re going to squeeze all my blood from my arm. Stop.” Max whispered in my ear.

Shit. I basically dug my nails into his arm due to my tiny crush.

“Yeah, It’s amazing to know that I’m to race with RedBull next year. I hope we can achieve everything we’ve dreamed of. Looking forward to race with my lifetime partner, Max here.”

Now the light was on Max and me. I discreetly let go of max so that he could have the spotlight. As Max waved I looked back at Charles.

The dimples in his face showed even more, he was looking at me too.

“I can’t wait to work with these wonderful people, and I hope we have a great year to remember, thank you and enjoy this night!” He raised his glass and so did all.

“Well, I hope we don’t have any inchidents” Max laughed at his own joke. Dad joke I must say.

“Well If you don’t push me off the track I think we’ll be just fine” his voice gave me chills. I felt his chest on my back.

I wasn’t strong enough to turn around.

“Oh, shoot, you hear that? I think P is calling me!”

“No, Max-” I tried to stop him.

Around Charles, I barely have control over myself.

“Uh-huh, yeah that’s P, she wants to go to the bathroom, and she needs food, ok have a great night bye!” He rushed to god knows where.

“You really don’t want to be with me, do you?” He whispered on my ear. Feeling the heat of his breath.

“Why wouldn’t I? You are such a lovely company, mr Leclerc.” I gathered the strength and turned around, and his beautiful green eyes shined at me, making me blush.

“Look at you, could you get any more beautiful?”

He lowered so he could whisper again. “I’ve missed you” I looked around real quick, thankfully Max took everyone’s attention on the other side of the place.

“Not here, Charles.” I whimpered.

“Yes here, I can finally be with you, do you think I would waste any more time pretending to not love you? If you do, let me tell you, you are completely wrong.”

He kept whispering, his hands slowly finding his way to my hips. And mine to his collarbone.

“It’s not even 9pm, Leclerc, this party hasn’t even started” I fighted against my own will to drag him upstairs.

“You know I’ll wait, just for you.” He winked at me, before slowly letting me go and walking away.

“You’re not coming, mon coeur?” Charles turned around to look at me. “If you insist.” I happily walked by his side.

We walked and talked for a few minutes before Mike magically appeared before us.

“Oh not even 5 seconds and you are already like a slut with the new driver” He looked at me with a disgusted face.

“Excuse her? Don’t tall to her like that. Do we even know you?” Charles used a very cold tone on him. And Mike started to stumble on his word.

“Uhm, no, she does, like I was something to her-”

“Was, that’s a key word, pal. Don’t you ever talk to her, no, don’t you ever talk to any woman that way do you understand?”

Now, I can defend myself just fine, but that right there soaked my pants in an unexplainable way.

“Get out of our sight, man.” And he crawled away.

“That was hot.” I whispered and he blushed. “Your mother did raise a gentleman.” I smiled at him and he gave me a cheek kiss.

Lost on the moonlit pool, drinking my… 11th (?) glass of wine at 1 in the morning while everyone was still dancing, was weird.

My feet swinging as I drink the last drop of my glass.

I went on a side quest myself just to get distracted for a bit. All the noise was going to hurt my ears if I stayed any longer.

“Here you are, you got lost?” He sat down at my side. Didn’t have to look, his thick accent gave him away immediately.

I took a long breath and rested my head on his shoulder . “Yes, Charles, I’m going to get lost in my own house.” I felt him move beside me. He then had his feet in the pool, just as I did.

I smiled to myself.

“Has anyone told you just how beautiful you look today?”

“You have, more than once.”

“I couldn’t let that slip, you do look beautiful with that dress. It suits you just perfectly.”

He paused.

“But I bet you’d look much better without it.”

I nervously chuckled at his comment.

“You haven’t talked to me in ages, you came back being a driver for my father, and now you want to have sex? Why don’t you already make me your wife?!” I dramatically fell into his arms

“Ages? I talked to you last week!” He showed his teeth to me in a smile. “That was a long time ago! Besides, you never told me about you and RedBull.” I sit straight up again.

“I needed your dad to love me one way or another. How else am I going to get him to approve of our marriage?” He joked.

“You are unbelievable Leclerc.” I stood up, and grabbed my high-heels on my hand, walking back to the party barefoot.

I surrounded part of the pool, my dad wanted to add a bar right beside it, and it was freshly cemented.

He quickly copied my moves, but instead, he went on a straight line to me, and in a step he covered his feet in cement, falling down and thankfully placing his hands before getting worse.

“Shit!” I ran back to help him. I stupidly placed my hand in the cement, the other helping Charles to get up.

“Look, we made a masterpiece! Your handprints and mine in wet cement.”

“And your feet.” I laughed

“And my feet… I really need to wash this off before it gets dry.” I grabbed his hand and he followed my lead.

If my dad sees that I’m getting his new driver to my room…

We rushed through the multitude of people on the garden.

“Ooh we’re going to your bedroom, can’t remember what happened last time there…” he whispered shouted as we were running up the stairs.

I jokingly rolled my eyes at him. We were giggling like children. He kept making dirty jokes and as much as I tried to control myself I’d end up giggling much more.

We got there quicker than I thought. With my clean hand I closed the door and he was already in my bathroom washing his hands, and feet with water. I ran to his side and did the same with my left hand.

“I’m done” I announced and got out of the bathroom. Deciding to do a touch up for my makeup, thankfully nothing was much out of place, but my lipstick faded.

I slowly applied it looking in the mirror, and through it I saw a curious Charles looking at me. “Why do you even apply lipstick?” He slowly walked towards me.

I took my sweet time spreading the color on my lips.

“Cause we are going back, party is not over.”

“But we don’t need to.” He grabbed me by the waist and turned me around to look at him and he swiftly placed me on the desk. A smirk plastered on his face, as he slowly got on his knees.

“Charles…”

He got to his knees, not breaking eye contact with me.

“You know that if you say no, I won’t do anything. But I’m not hearing those words, am I?” He lifted my dress planted wet kisses on my inner thighs, getting closer to my sweet spot. “You’re so fucking wet”.

“They will know we’re gone” I nervously whispered. He looked into my eyes and stopped, his hot breath making me squirm. “That isn’t a no.” He stood his ground.

And I’m not saying “do it anyway”, but we both know he is going to.

I didn’t even have a chance to think about the cons, his tongue was already doing its job.My legs were closing due to the pleasure, but his strong arms kept them wide open while he drew circles with his thumbs.

“Charles…” he hummed in response, sending me shivers all the way up. He kept licking my folds and as I looked down, he had his shiny green eyes looking at me. A hint of darkness in them that made me moan just at sight.

His head between my legs was surely what heaven looked like.

I curved my back and my hand gripping his hair so he could get closer. He groaned and sucked even harder.

“Fuck, you’re such a good boy, I missed this.” His hand moved quickly into me, curling his two fingers finding my g spot. “Fuck, Charles!” I screamed his name while cumming all over him, his tongue taking all off of me, as he rose without slowly moving his fingers again. My hips rocking back and forth as he arose, keeping his hand busy. “Too bad that pretty mouth of yours can’t do much right now. I really would love to feel it sucking my dick.” I hummed imagining it and getting even closer to my second climax.

“I'll take care of you, just so my princess can remember who she belongs with.” His lips were on my neck, whispering sweet nothing between kisses and soft biting. My moans filled the whole room along with the sound of his fingers working on her center.

Charles, Charles, Charles…

Each time his name left your mouth his cock got even harder, to the point where it hurt. In a short motion his pants down and without any warning he thrusted into you. You both let out a pornographic scream. If the music wasn’t loud everyone would have heard you two. The sound of your slaps were evident, heat rising, the feeling of his beard in your neck was all too much. Curses along with moans were the only thing louder. He did a final thrust and immediately pulled out, jerking off and finishing in his hand.

“You just washed your hands.” I joked breathlessly, he messed up with my head real bad. “Couldn’t resist” he smiled, gave me a peck and disappeared into the bathroom. I melted on that spot.

“Come on mon coeur.” What I loved about Charles was that he always cared. we got into the bathroom and I washed my hands, in the reflection of the mirror his eyes were already in mine.

“What?” I asked as the blood rushed into my cheeks. “Nothing.” He gently smiled, and his eyes shined to me in a different shade of green.

Taglist

@delicatepeanutsublime @ironspdy @architect-2015 @buendiabebeta @dreamergirlatpaddock @lercvlie

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krockat · 1 month ago

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it is I, krockat, and i'm crashing into YOU!!

and i am posting my long ass description into a pinned post instead.

also how do you edit in a readmore on mobile. help

Stats:

late mid20s, queer, fucker, experienced tumblr user

Messages Of The Day and Age:

fuckkkkk i fucking love lil weirdo artist queers

and when we get out into a group in the local and support eachother there's like nothing better

gosh fucking I GET now why people say "x should be in the club" cause I WAS and it was fucking THE BEST SHIT EVER

more below the readmore, such as my FAQ and uhh pronoun polls. yup

(there's no dni btw, don't you worry your sweet little head, Mwah <3)

FAQ:

1. tumblruser having badges allegations:

yea its true. i bought them before shit got shitted. so i will also say just say

#westaysilly:3 #tdov #tdor #blm #swisrealw #cripplepunk #🍉 #fromtherivertothesea #crapitalism #enshittification #workersunite

2. why don't you post art anymore?

it's true I barely didn't for years, but recently have been dabbling in posting some!

i also made a community which no one joined because no one could find it, which before I realized I could not rb shit out from it - I posted a bunch of art in.

but hey if you wanna join my community hmu!

it's called the enjoyment enjoyers, we could always use more enjoyers!!

also posting art is scary and i'm working on being more brave :D

3. why don't you reblog more nsft stuff on here?

i ask myself that nearly every day.

like yea, cause nearly every day I have AtLeast a min of scroll time on tumblr and see something hella cool thats nsft.

not that i Don't rb nsft stuff, just not the ones that would truly bare my soul.

who knows, maybe one day I will also be brave enough to post my own nsft stuff! wouldn't that be wicked. I'm hella hot btw.

edit: i changed my pfp to me so the truth is out there. am gonna post more of me so who knows how bold I will build to be!

Good Good Pronouns:

how to pronounce my pronouns, same order:

dae/dem

hen (like chickens, like hen in hen coop [- but i am not of gender chicken. nej, i am of swedish queer gender]

see/sehm (sounds like seize him or see xem which are both great)

say/sir (it's very funny and gender)

Content of Blog:

loads of stuff. long gone are the days of the aesthetic and fandom dichotomy!

but with that said, i do rb fan shit, been on a tf2 buzz lately, but also i will rb even things from fandoms I've not been in at all. I support the arts!!

also art, horror, queer shit, things about all my disabilties (aswell as others #solidarityfucker), memes, politics, and oh yes,

yup this blog often contains nsft things! i find sexuality and intimacy quite fun and confusing. i am still fresh on this. let's have fun!

esp like to rb queer and kinky stuff that just gets to be silly and shameless.

ehh, im working on the shame part for my own, so not the most prominent poster on that. and honestly? in general.

rebogging is however most often Loads

Other things about Moi

so am queer and here for however long this earth will have me

polying most things, creativity, love, and disability. wahooooo

aaand, i am plural! we have been slow burn naturally fusing since this last summer, but we still be we-ing some days. this blog is Mostly just from my perspective, but our my is becoming all our my.

if ya get it, ya get it.

Oh and i am a musician. i make music. I am working on an album! it's fun! I will post it some time in the future!

I've made great progress on it this year, but somethings are slowing further progress, like both my computers dying (aka also my old backup computer.)

But I am still trucking on!! I love music it's my passion and i am gonna finish this album so I can make both my child self and old self and CURRENT (and future) self so super happies!!!

My oldest friend; Tags:

tags are my friends and my sacred truth and liekeepers. i like to taste the words in them. but sometimes that chronic exhaustion hits and then the fast rbs are aboundiful

Muse Applications:

the applications for being mutual muses (this does NOT include mutuals. new mutuals are ALWAYS accepted): have been opened again.

You can send your application through these official channels:

tumblr asks

messages

pigeon or owl bird (owl is a huge extra fee cause the power needs more time to travel far distances)

You will have to prepare two monologues, one of your own choosing, and one that we give to you.

If you move on in the process, there is a live improvisation workshop, where you on the spot show all your talents and skills and shower me with praises.

Last date to apply is whenever I feel like it.

Re: Description errors:

i can't figure out how or why, but my tumblr description is chronically bugging.

it takes no amount of HTML. I even tried commissioning a person once because I thought I just couldn't figure it out. but nah.. it's just plain brokies

Several tumblr functions are chronically bugging for me,

like my following limit (tho i have gotten quite trained at gently penetrating its g-prostate-spot),

and my desktop version (it was completely uneditable and unviewable for me for years)

so, i am so sorry fellow disableds who have had to struggle reading my description. but you know what I said??

NO MORE!!

so pinned post it is.

😔🤟

🌱✔️🌱

#oh shit I should put in my common tags #ech whatever I will do that later #this is a wip #about me #me #krockat #krockat krockar

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pepsiiwho · 1 year ago

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Thank u for rb-ing the ask game. Here are 5000 asks: ♥️, 🎁 , 👓, 💕, 🍬, and 💌. These are just for you to keep: 💖💓💓♥️💞💕💘💞💘💗❤️💘💘♥️💖💓💖❤️💖💞💓💞💖💗

So many things here should I even answer this in one big thing....

This one is getting it's own post I have too much to say for it but the short answer is "[sound here] sounded like rocks hitting a wall" if you actually read my work you should know this one it's my calling card at this point.

It gets long after this sorry guys

2. This one isn't anything you'd like, a shame I just sent it to you but here's a little piece of the most recent WIP I have as of (checks watch) 3 hours ago. BG3 WIP Title pending.

The woman walks out with her tail between her legs, literally, and Alabaster watches the door close soundlessly behind her as if commanded. The silence between them sits for a moment a second or two before Alabaster speaks. “She's pretty. You might have a type though.” “What are you doing here?” She didn’t think a sleep-ruffled Astarion would be the one she’d be interacting with when she decided to pay a visit today, but the sight is pleasing all the same. His hair is as white as it’s ever been, only a touch longer. She isn’t sure if actual vampires are capable of being surprised (something something the alertness of darkness or something) but the expression on Asraion’s face was what she would coin as ‘your lover coming home to see you with your mistress' . “You missed me?” He asks. It doesn’t come out like a question, as breathy as it sounds. “I missed you” She responds. She rolls her shoulders, getting ready for the dance that is talking to Astarion. “I also need your help.” “You came back because you need me?” There's a sharp smile slowly making it’s way onto his face, laughlines bending to build the expression. He’s sitting up, moving to reach her height. She nods, pulling at the tightly wound strings in his chest, plucking absently. “I need you.” She responds. Talking to him feels like playing an instrument you haven't touched in a long time, slowly allowing muscle memory to take over so the music can once again be moved by your masterful hands. He smiles full now, as if realizing something she doesn’t know, and she’s reminded that you never really forget how to tune an instrument.

3. What helps me focus when I write... booty shaking music for throwing ass OR hating whatever is happening around me. no in-between.

4. This is a really hard question because if we mean like, emotionally? I could cop out and give a three way tie between Complimentary Soap (it isn't good I'm just nostalgic), Nintendo Direct (Circa June 2021) (it is good and I'm nostalgic) and Like A Brick In The Wall (good and new but god it's chaptered.) But, right now I'm gonna say my most recent fic I posted Going Home; All Over Again. I really love it even tho no one will ever read it (save you). The curse of rare pairs.

5. Okay another long one let's go. I'm only counting things with multiple pics posted...

HADES -

I Missed You Terribly And Like A Dream— You Appeared, Smiling At Me, Just So

Most of my stuff from here isn't good anymore, and while there's another that's more self indulgent and scratches the itch inside my body that aches dully for more Hypnos content at all times, this one reads the best rn. So it win.

HAIKYUU-

Tequilas, Margaritas and Seawater

everything in this fandom is old and arguably bad so nostalgia points carry weight here. This. one was a gift and idk why but it reads amazingly. holds up still

FE3H -

Like A Brick In The Wall

All fe fics are the DEVIL because of any in this list I CARE about these the most no competition. Anyway. This fic didn't win the previous bracket of my fav fic ever but it is my fav in the tag. Don't ask me to explain. I'm sorry.

CSM -

I Squint Out My Peripheral, Peaking Through My Fingers To See You

I don't work here man... I hate this goddamn pic its so good.

DRV3-

Nintendo Direct (Circa June 2021)

She's gonna do it every time... V3 hospital au I lOVE you.

(Listing out my written fandoms like this is the saddest thing ever my GOD I'm cringey)

6. I feel like the tropes I love most I never write myself... it's honestly kinda fandom specific but across the board...? Royalty au. not regency but kinda. A little to the left.

#the funnies #there's so many fandom here I'm not tagging it #read my pics and comment #fanfiction #read it do it #plwease

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rottingwithers · 2 months ago

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DISCLAIMER: A lot of what I’m saying isn’t in direct response to these two posts, it’s a response to all of the things TERFs have said about my post. (These are actually the more mild responses but are most recent and I don’t feel picking out the more offensive ones) And mostly I just want to vent about how TERFs treat genderqueer afabs (more specifically nonbinary/agender spec) like they’re self conscious and betraying their gender.

I’ve gotten so many rbs of TERFs trying to say genderqueer afabs (specifically referring to nonbinary ones) are cis women with self esteem issues. So I’m just gonna say this.

1. I have very high self esteem and love my female body.

2. I couldn’t give two shits what others think about my appearance. I dress to impress myself.

3. If you weren’t an idiot you would know androgyny is being gender neutral/genderless. No fucking idea how your terf minds managed to twist not wanting to look like any gender to wanting to be a man. Male is not “default/genderless”, it fucking can’t be, it’s a gender! (Ps. if I had to say which gender was more genderless, I’d personally say female not male) Do you even understand what being nonbinary/agender is?! There’s no such thing as a physical agender human body, so what a genderless body or just genderless overall looks like is your own personal interpretation. Some people think it’s looking both masc and fem, some people think it’s looking unisex or neutral.

4. To YOU boobs are fem and flat chests are masc. Girls and guys can have boobs or be flat, so I find them unisex. When I want a flat chest it’s me wanting to look agender, not me trying to look like a man and not be a woman.

5. Amabs do feel this way (yes even about wanting to have boobs). Gender dysphoria isn’t an afab only experience. (I know from the many gender dysphoric posts I’ve seen by amabs). To say only afabs get gender dysphoria is saying only men can’t feel bad about their body cause all women are self conscious. (which is EXACTLY the misogynistic mentality that men are strong and women are weak)

6. To say gender dysphoria or just styling the way you look to express your gender is self esteem issues is wrong, stupid, and transphobic. (Cis people use their appearance to express their gender as well. But you don’t say shit as long as they’re cis!)

How can you call men horrible for making women feel self conscious and then attack women if they’re self conscious? And don’t you think it’s sexist to assume a woman has self esteem issues cause of men?! Just cause you hate your body or most of the girls you know do, doesn’t mean all girls do. And not all women who hate their body hate it cause of what others thinks. It’s possible to think you’re ugly simply cause you’re not your own type.

I’m all for talking about how society shames women for their bodies. But don’t take genderqueer posts and say transphobic shit to do it.

I’m proud of my gender identity and I’m not going to let you shame me as a woman because you’re a transphobe and trying to pass it off as feminism.

I wish boobs were detachable. Because sometimes I want to look like a genderless being, other times the outfit needs boobs.

#transphobes #transphobia #queerphobic #genderqueer #nonbinary #agender #enby #text post #vent post #personal vent

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giovanni-bottesini · 9 months ago

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There's something I've noticed a lot more recently as I've taken up my late grandmother's genealogist role in my family's Scottish clan (something which still sounds fictional to me) which I see as yet another example of well-meaning white settler leftists approaching important conversations with a very flawed mindset consisting of what some would call "white guilt" and the self-sacrificial or "repentant" approach to decolonization that lets you skip learning about any culture at all! You can just say "I'm a white settler on stolen land. That sucks and I hate it." and buy an orange shirt on the internet while you're supposed to be doing your day job for the government.

This isn't about giving up your own cultural identity as a "sacrifice" to those who have had them stripped away. The goal is always to know more about ourselves, each other, and the unbelievable extent to which our ancestors documented everything they could about themselves. No matter how unimportant you might think your middle-class suburban family might be, there are millions of people dedicating their entire lives and careers to using every bit of data they can find to make leaps in understanding I couldn't piece together if I tried.

Do you resent your rich, white, Catholic upbringing? Don't you want to just forget it all, throw out those dumb old documents, and renounce your European origins in solidarity with the indigenous peoples? Well, first of all, uniteforchange.com is a good place for folks in "Canada" to start out if you're in a position to pay reparations (folks encouraged to rb with international community/mutual aid funds) but please make sure your family documents remain in caring hands! Donate them to a university or research institute, or any sort of passionate genealogist in your family or community so the knowledge doesn't just rot in your poorly-insulated attic.

Or read the documents yourself! Bring them to a local library and scan them, upload them to a database like familysearch.org or geneanet.org and figure out why your family is catholic, what they may have practiced before, and how you ended up as a settler rather than living in Ireland, or Italy, or Hungary, or anywhere else considered "white" enough (nowadays) to get the "good" side of colonialism: having their culture leeched out of them whilst participating in the destruction of others, rather than being destroyed.

Decolonialism isn't ever about hating your identity and trying to bury it out of shame, or appropriating another culture that feels "better" to your conscience. It's about understanding yourself, hard realities and all, looking back at the countless people who were silenced before their voices could be heard, and fighting like hell for the people who still have the chance.

Realizing your history should disturb rather than comfort you, but realizing your privilege should not demoralize you; it should empower you.

#oh the nuance i have had to omit #trust me it is not overlooked #this is the draft for a thesis abstracr #love to see people anyone rb this with their own perspective #and i will excitedly engage and learn from anyone with any experiences ever #but comments chastising my/others ignorance arent appreciated #no hard feelings because i sympathize but that is the point of the post #knowledge is the most important part of justice #seek it out at its source #decolonization #decolonisation #turtle island #canada #america #australia #new zealand #academia

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writinggremlin · 1 year ago

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GAH-- Jfc you scared me!! Hi!! :D!!!!

This ask was sent in as a part of this ask game, where if you send me an ask with "!!", I will reply with an infodump about one of my ocs! I currently have no other requests and--... (turns to count)... 15 more ocs to go wild about. This doesn't include stuff about my worlds and magic systems, which I would also be more than happy to share!

So if you like what you see here and want to learn more about the lil blorlos in my head, feel free to send in an ask! I want it. I want you to. I know you want it too. Do it. You won't. No balls. (Expect me to take a few weeks tho- I'm not fast at all lmfao)

Now- don't get me wrong, I've been so fucking hype while typing this all out! But I might've also been procrastinating this out of fear of what people might think...

I think I have found the solution though!

...

(Chucks this violently at the dash)

(Heehoos away)

Cw (Starts at the origin story, below the Blorbo Blingo): Mentions of cults, religious/ritualistic sacrifice, death, and implied manipulation/brainwashing.

=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=

Introducing: Mist!

My beloved immortal, my first whumpee before I even knew what whump was, and easily one of my more powerful characters (though she has been nerfed and fiddled with quite a lot over the years).

She started out like many people's first characters do; as an overpowered self insert with a red/blue heterochromia because "oH nO!! oNe HalF iS EVIL aND iS oNlY mUrDeR!!!" (No shame to the people who have characters like that btw! That's not a bad thing! It's just something that I feel is difficult to write correctly, and I was definitely not able to do that lmfao).

Not only that, but I was a Warrior's kid growing up. Her original name was Miststar, and I decided that she was somehow the leader of Starclan. Yeah... I never solved the plothole of how or why a human would become a cat god besides just- dying in the area lmao.

I have kept many of the original things about her though, like her telepathy, the immortality, the "evil half" (who gets lightly mentioned in the backstory, and who I'll introduce next if I ever get more of these 👀), and even being a demi-god (technically). But I have definitely toned everything wayyyyyy down throughout the years, and I'm still messing around with her to this day.

As for today, Mist now feels (to me) like a humanized character who has been given a life of magic and power, where she still struggles with relatable experiences despite that (like Sabrina The Teenage Witch or Bewitched). And there's no demons that live in her head to occasionally possess her and murder everyone for no reason lmfao.

=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=

Stats/Bio:

Name: Mist

Nickname(s): Sunshine (only allows Ember to call her that)

Age: About 600 years or so

Species: She's adamant about being human, though technically she could fall under a demi-god type status.

Height: 5'8"

Gender/Pronouns: Woman, she/her

Sexuality: Pan (Almost never gets into romantic relationships. And no, that's not just because of the whole immortality thing)

Relationship status: Single (and that's not likely to change anytime soon)

Personality: Mature, wise, motherly, respectful, understanding, self-reliant. She seems willing to be open about herself, yet also rarely seems to let herself be vulnerable.

Powers: Immortality, telepathy, Shapeshifting (limited to a few forms), Portals (can be inter-dimensional), teleportation (quantum physics+magic), earth and water manipulation

(I may rb this later to go into much more detail about each power's capabilities and limitations and all of that. 👀)

Preferred weapon(s): N/A

Fashion vibes (casual): Cozy and comfortable. Sweaters, jeans, and sneakers are the go-to.

Fashion vibes (special): Extravagant and/or intricate ballgowns with a black, dark purple, and/or dark blue color palette, and a sparkly design, to mimic a twilight or night sky.

Hobbies: Art (drawing, painting, coloring, etc), reading, playing piano, adventure

Likes: Space, quiet moments, classical (or similar sounding) music, waltz music, tea, and almost anything that she will never be able to fully comprehend or understand will fascinate her

Dislikes: Cults (who doesn't), religion in general (though she respects others beliefs. It's just not for her), being placed on a pedestal, crowds, being powerless (literally), being powerless (figuratively)

Extras/Fun Facts: She is susceptible to a certain type of power being used on her. May go more into detail about that in a different character's intro (if I even get more of these, idk if I will lmao).

Because she's been alive for so long, I would just like to confirm that she has, in fact, witnessed the creation of classical music, modern electricity, phones, planes, etc. This bamboozled me when I first realized that lmfao.

And to end this part on a goofy ahh fact: She doubts her ability to drive, yet will willingly volunteer to fly a plane (and she's genuinely good at it). Also, afraid of spiders.

Blorbo Blingus (there goes tumblr, downgrading the image quality again smh):

=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=

Brief origin story (yes this is the brief one):

Mist was born in the 1400's, into a small cult group that lived in a village, mostly secluded from civilization (aside from the occasional trader). Her first several years of life were spent more secluded than the others; not allowed to see the outside world or even interact with the others beyond what was absolutely necessary.

It was to keep her "pure".

For you see, Mist was conceived and raised to serve one purpose, and one purpose only: sacrifice. To be an offering for their "god". Nobody really understood why this was needed, but nobody really asked either, which made His job much easier.

Things didn't go according to plan, however. Reasons and explanations for why this ritual failed were unclear; only spreading through rumours and speculation. Though, Mist had noticed that the person preforming the ritual on her was reciting the wrong words. Whether or not this was on purpose, will always remain a mystery.

Now she did die, as expected. What wasn't expected, however, was her somehow pushing the lid off of what should've been her coffin, before anyone even had a chance to nail it shut. People were surprised, to say the least. (It was around here that she began to slowly gain her other magical powers as well.)

From there, tensions rose. Some of the members, namely ones who harshly judged their "God" for this mistake, saw this as a sign to change their ways, and follow her instead. Other members were more loyal to the original, who was already condemning and shaming her for supposedly betraying him.

The cult divided. ("God" will remember that.)

Around this time, Mist started noticing a little voice in her head. A voice that grew louder and became more real over time. A bitter, spiteful voice, which grew more and more powerful, the more anger and resentment it was fed.

Mist eventually grew close to that voice.

The voice suggested that she run away.

She didn't.

It tried again.

She stayed.

It ordered her to.

She refused.

Threatened.

Ignored.

It said nothing to her, just silently planted a small seed of an idea into her mind.

She left that night, and never looked back.

#...*puts her through The Horrors puts her through The Horrors puts her through The Horrors puts her through The Horrors puts her through-*#hshsghsjahsnddhs fr tho thank you so much to the anon who sent this ask in!!!#i am ✨terrified✨ of ppl's reaction to this. i am expecting the worst. but y'know what? fuck it we ball.#*potential reaction. idk how anyone's gonna react yet. that's kinda the whole point on why it's so spooky lmao #but anygay... yeah. enjoy!! and my asks are still very open and very empty and if you want more then I beg you to give me a sign #uhhhhhh... I think that's it. I think that's all the material I can use to procrastinate down here in the tags. lovely.#tw: cults #tw: religious trauma #tw: manipulation #tw: brainwashing #tw: death #Mist

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your-fave-is-bi · 3 years ago

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There is nothing quite as striking as realizing you wanna rattle off everything you did in your day like a kid coming home from school, to only then realizing how you forgot the feeling of comfort and safety to do just that, and now ur staring at the ceiling wondering if you ever even had a memory of it to forget at all

#personal tag #i amthinking aloud u can look but no rb im hust #thinky thoughts yknow #like yes i am well aware of the lack of support I grew up with(without?)#like i know this. it is very much still an aspect of my day to day life.#it will remain so until i get the hell out of here #but just. that pang of shame i just felt simply talking aloud abt the stuff i did in animal crossing today #like everything i like can never be discussed bc it is all just sources for (some) people in my life to tap at and ridicule me for #i just!! thats fucked up!! thats so fucked up!!#im mad and. angry and upset bc. fuck. i deserves better. i still deserve better.#i deserve to take up space and i deserve to have the floor and chatter abt what i like #and that is still! hard to do! and harder to believe! but i know its true!#just. [hugs my child self]#@ kid me #please tell me about school today and the fantasy stories you thought up. I will smile and nod and ask questions and pay attention.#im just. hrrr. i am angry at people i called friends once for making me feel like a burden #i am not a burden. my excitement and love for stuff and enjoyment of things is not a burden or a joke #literally fuck everyone who has made me feel like it was

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mrsdostoevsky · 2 years ago

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hii in regards to your rb self ships are SOO important idc if people say they're cringe. having self ship hcs is so cute too?? glad im not the only one who has an entire relationship planned out in my head,,,

hey honeyy

I totally agree with you, self-ships are the cutest thing ever! and if there's something I hate, it's people who shame others just for shipping themselves with their favorite characters.

In my case, self-shipping is a way to cope with my emotional issues and it really helps me when I'm going through tough times.

I totally understand your feeling of comfort when you meet someone who's also a self-shipper. Even if we don't care about people calling us out, knowing we are not the only ones is kinda reassuring, isn't it? 🖤

also, tell me more about your self-ship, I'd love to hear your headcanons! 👀

#mabyʼs typing Σ

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djarrex · 3 years ago

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Hi everyone, just wanted to address what happened last night along with some other things from before that all tie in together.

There’s multiple parts to the following post - please make sure you read all of it if you’re gonna take the time to even start.

It was midnight and y'all were still jumping in on anon and telling me how I'm awful for not commenting, owning up, or taking responsibility - I should have been in bed. I have a life and job outside this app; and with the several of you in my inbox and it being too late at night to address each, I’m gonna do it now. I can’t not say something about all of this. I just can’t keep quiet and ignore the problem - it’s not fair to you all. Deleting one post already has you guys even more riled up and all I wanted to do was offer something better than a “half-hearted apology” (it was very late at night when I wrote that very short apology, and wanted a redo tbh).

I really didn't want to make a long post like this. I reached out to a select few on here because I care about them (there's more of you, but like I said, it was at the time after midnight and I was fucking exhausted). but I was being demanded for accountability. So here I am.

Allow me to be real with you all, if that's ok. If it's not, well, idk. First I wanna address all you anons, who, instead of speaking to me one on one about all this, want to criticize me and shame me and my writing when truthfully it feels like you haven't even read more than a handful of my work. I didn’t realize that I write the clones all the same way? That I always make them super aggressive and uncaring and dom? “you write every single clone as so dominant instead as unique individual men with their own personalities” Interesting. See, that right there tells me you haven't read nearly enough of my stuff for me to believe that's true. That's one accusation I absolutely will not back you on because I know it’s inaccurate - saying how I group the clones into some overly-aggressive, and uncaring category - that I always write all of them as mean in bed because they're men of color. And hey, if I do write rough smut - which yeah, it's out there and I write it, as do a lot of you - there are warnings at the beginning, aftercare, dialogue, reader sharing their feelings, and most importantly... consent between the two. That’s what warnings are for, so that you know what you’re going to be reading. That’s why I, as we all do, appreciate warnings listed at the tops of fics; honestly, write them sub or dom or switch or however you want but don’t come at me like that. I’m sorry if I'm coming across as rude because I'm usually not, I’m one of the nicest people you’ll meet, but I will not stand idly by while you chastise my writing (writing that is pretty much the same type of stuff a lot of you write & rb with the same characters) that you haven’t read enough of to back such claims.

Next: Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart,

I get it. Really, I do. I fully understand the problem of whitewashing in SW along with almost everywhere else, and I do not agree with it. It's a huge problem, and it needs to be rectified. Now just because I don't speak publicly about it and opt out of publicly shaming TBB, doesn't mean that I agree with what’s going on. Not everyone is comfortable with sharing their opinions on a subject, no matter what that subject is or which side they're on. You live and you learn when it comes to that.

It has never been my intention to fetishize POC in my writing, which btw, the same people who are saying that it is my intention are the ones claiming I portray all of the clones as the same, aggressive men, lacking their individuality. It’s a claim that is simply not true, and I know I have followers on here to back me up on that. I know what I've written; how about you check it out and tell me that you don't see the words "soft" or "fluff" or "cuddling" or “gentle” or “tender” within my work linked in my ML. Clone character being a good partner and father? Tender love making? Holding each others faces in their hands? “We/you survived” sex? Taking care of their partner? Saying “I love you” to one another? Confirming the safe word and going slow at first? Oh my - riveting and harsh stuff - totally unacceptable.

Now: My admittedly problematic writings of Rex + Zygerria,

I went into writing that rp fic totally unaware and unknowing of the true implications. For that, I sincerely apologize. When I posted the NSFW alphabet, that’s when I was called out on that rp fic - not when I first posted it. Which the timeline doesn’t matter, I know that, but it concerns me a little bit that no one spoke up about it sooner - letting me dig myself deeper into a hole that I didn’t realize I was inside of in the first place. I've apologized once, and I know that doesn't negate what happened; I acknowledged my mistake back then, but I suppose that wasn’t good enough. I had asked you, anon, to message me to give me guidance, to teach me on what to do about the fic - you stayed hidden. Well, respectfully, what the fuck? I know we're all adults but don't lecture me and avoid me when I’d literally reached out for guidance on how to properly rectify the issue. I fixed my wording in some of my fics (the things I’ve caught upon rereading them) because I recognized and more importantly learned about and from my mistakes along with the unintentional negative implications of how I wrote those characters. Some of y'all wanna tell me that I "haven't learned"? Who are you, my personal blog police? My professor? My life coach? Are you even my friend? If I'm wrong and haven't learned, then fucking educate me. I worked hard on that rp fic, just like I do with a majority of what I write, but it doesn’t matter because I will delete it knowing that it’s harmful to others and I apologize for inadvertently romanticizing slavery with what I wrote - it was unintentional, and I’m truly sorry to those who have been hurt by it. I know it’s wrong, and there’s no proper excuse for it. Can’t go back in time, but consider it gone now.

Since that first wakeup call, I’ve been working hard to ensure I avoid using certain words and ideas when describing the clones in my fics. If there’s still something you see that isn’t correct or is inappropriate, please tell me! Don’t hold it in but then jump on the “attack M” bandwagon. Private message me, or come peacefully off or on anon, there will be no hard feelings. I don’t mind being corrected when I make a mistake - that’s just part of life, we all make mistakes and we live and learn from them. Making mistakes doesn’t = scumbag human. When you hold your breath and choose not to take the time to guide me, and if I appear to still be making the same mistakes, well, idk. I’m telling you right now that I do not mind if you message me with the good intention of pushing me in the right direction. When you come at me with hostility on anon, well, no thank you. To the anons that came without rage: thank you! I read what you wrote, and I have a better understanding as to how my writing had hurt the lovely followers of mine, and tried to address as much as possible in this post. See, angry mob anons? It costs zero credits to be kind and offer up your thoughts and advice with a good heart. I’m not going to hate you or block you if you try to correct me. I don’t block unless you’re a snoopin’ minor. Just don’t hold a knife to my throat.

Now: Why did I delete the tags and then my response to that anon ask?

Simply put: I felt awful. Deleting it doesn’t immediately mean I’m hiding from it and ignoring the issue. I wanted to come up with a better apology, explanation, whatever you wanna call it, because my followers deserve that. The ones who enjoy my work, the ones who interact, the ones who I call my friends, the ones who know that I’m a good person. Didn’t want to leave the tags/post floating around all night, giving more people time to sharpen their pitchforks and join the mob while I attempted to sleep. Trust me, I know saying that I had no ill intentions when tagging that post doesn’t make it better nor does it make it go away. I’m just trying to show you my point of view, that I knew immediately how I should not have tagged it that way, so that’s why I deleted them. I corrected my mistake. But y’all are too fucking quick I swear.

One more thing:

I know some of you who had called me out with the passive-aggressive inbox messages are still following me, and for what? You don’t like what I post, which is why one would follow another in the first place, so why bother sticking around? Do you feel like you need to police my blog? You want to be there the literal minute I make a mistake? I’m gonna turn off anon for a bit, so if you wanna discuss, message me. Just know that if you’re going to come at me with knives out, I probably won’t reply to you.

To conclude:

I’m sorry. Truly sorry for the entire Rex + Zygerria outfit + slaver ordeal with both the fic from a while ago and then the tags from last night. We can’t go back in time; the only option is to correct past mistakes that are able to be corrected, and then move on with new knowledge that’ll aid in me working even harder to ensure my writing isn’t inappropriate or offensive, and doesn’t hurt my followers nor the characters I write for. I’m still going to write self-indulgent filth and fluff, post-order 66 Rex, and other misc shit. I enjoy writing fanfic, as I know a lot of you enjoy reading what I write and love to talk to me about it. I hope that this didn’t come off as me being a bitch, because I’m really not. I enjoy interacting with the handful of people on here that I’d call my friends, and I love reading your reactions and tags to my fics when you’re excited and/or horny (LOL). It’s just after lunch time where I’m at, so I hope you have a great rest of the day/night/morning whatever for wherever you are.

#long post #m personal

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janaisvu · 4 years ago

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— 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎

hello writeblr !! i have abandoned this blog for almost a year & came back to 700 followers wtf. anyway i’ve decided to come back but i’m gonna focus on less wips cause my energy is limited. you might have seen this post before because this is a re-introduction so !

i’m jes, 16, she/her, gemini & infp ! i’m from hk, i scream about books & music, also your resident kpop multi. i'm also @k-ths , you might have seen me with my sideblog @scrivenshafts / @yicitys that acted as my writeblr. that blog originally had this janaisvu url but i moved it here! i love all kinds of genres but works that include fantasy, sci-fi, mystery or thriller elements are right up my alley!

ps i write poetry on ig so pls go check it out !! i’m spilledstardusts on there!

signal boosts are very much appreciated! do let me know if you want to be added to any taglist !! rb if you’re a writeblr & want me to check you out!

template by tzxico on deviantart

— 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐏𝐒

i. revolution wip page ; wip intro post ; wip tag [ ya fantasy ; third person pov, multiple narrators ]

working title. after a brutal decade long war between the twin nations of wei and lai on the continent of xi, they call peace and in celebration they throw an airship race. tensions are still high, and whichever nation wins shall earn pride and honor after years of shame and violence. both nations call upon their best mages, warriors, mechanics, and pilots to audition to earn their spot on the crew of the airships.but what happens when a foreign force threatens the magic of their land? when the dead rise and people start to lose their lives when their souls are stolen? rivals become the heroes of their land, the only hope they all have.

A REVOLUTION IS NOT THE PEOPLE IN IT. IT’S AN IDEA, A BELIEF, A SPIRIT. AND YOU CAN’T KILL SPIRIT.

ii. existium wip page ; wip intro post ; wip tag [ mystery & thriller ; third person pov, multiple narrators ]

(working title) ‘just to be! hello, we are existium!’ in which five secret agents go undercover into the entertainment industry to catch a serial killer. not even a wip, just an idea,,, a concept,,, a self-indulgent little thing. everyone is gay. note: exist + exitium (death, destrution, ruin, mischief) = existium

SHE WORE HER SCARS THE WAY SOME MIGHT WEAR LUXURY BRANDS, OR GOLD MEDALS — WITH PRIDE, WITH HAUGHTINESS, WITH AN ICY CONFIDENCE.

[ side wips are under the read more cut ! ]

— 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐏𝐒 [ meaning i will probably never write them & let them marinate in my imagination ]

i. bulletproof [ mystery & thriller ; third person pov, multiple narrators ]

(working title) seven boys who have all escaped death, one way or another. they came together by some mysterious workings of the universe, trying to find out who sabotaged the racer in his competition, killing his sister and nearly killing him. In the process, they would find that something bigger is at work in the world they thought they knew so well.

“ STUPID PEOPLE GET STABBED. SIMPLE. ”

ii. singularity [ ?? thriller?? action?? maybe ; third person pov, single narrator ]

(also working title hahah i’m terrible at this) the future is a world where nothing matters other than mindless pleasure and endless greed for more time. it’s a world where this brain transplant technology allows the rich to live longer, but at what cost? ruiqi, a runaway knows there’s more going on beneath the surface while the privileged ones get to enjoy (almost) eternal life. but after her escape, the gang who saved her life makes it impossible for her to walk away.

“ WHEN YOU’VE LIVED IN SHADES OF GREY ALL YOUR LIFE, LIGHT GREY BECOMES ‘WHITE’ BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS HOW WHITE LOOKS LIKE ANYMORE. DO YOU WANT A WORLD SO EVIL THE LESSER EVIL EQUALS JUSTICE, BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHAT JUSTICE LOOKS LIKE ANYMORE? ”

— 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄��

some lovely writeblrs: @melwrotethat @ikilledmyocs @tarttisms @endymions @starshots @sourrcandy @astralis-elysian @cheshawrites

#writeblr #writeblrs #new writeblr #writeblr intro #writers on tumblr

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eury--dice · 4 years ago

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history, huh?

chapter 2: prope

(check the rb for chapter 1 on tumblr + ao3 links!)

Blue’s gum popped loudly on the other line. Adam couldn’t remember the last time he saw her chew gum, but somehow it seemed fitting that she picked up the habit then, with him overseas. “Any weird paintings?”

“I’m legally obligated not to tell you,” Adam replied, flicking his eyes over a textbook. He scanned his eyes over a page, but the fonts and colors all blurred together, creating a grey and red mass of string in front of him instead of a helpful breakdown of France’s pre-revolution economy. His phone, propped up on a tiny potted fern, revealed Blue Sargent in all of her early-evening glory. He wondered what the tabloids might think of her like this: her thick and short black hair held back by clashing vibrant hair clips, dressed in one of Gansey’s old Aglionby sweaters she converted into a halter top, felt-tip pen ink somehow smudged on her cheek. There was something wonderfully grounding about her familiar chaos.

“Contracts are a suggestion and nothing more.”

“Don’t let your mother hear that. She’ll have us both thrown in jail.” Ronan’s words from earlier popped into his head, but he had the luxury of ignoring them with the prince out of sight, and so he did.

“C’mon, Adam, you know she’s a softie. You’re in Kensington Palace. You have to tell me something exciting.”

Adam scrounged for something to tell her. He glanced around his room again, still caught off-guard by how much it felt like a castle. Admittedly, he didn’t have a great reference for what castles were supposed to feel like; the only other castle he had been in was the Bishop Palace on a tour with his mother at age eight. His hair raised on end at random moments here the same way it did then, the draftiness leaving him feeling exposed and vulnerable. He couldn't quite shake the idea that someone was watching him, caught between air molecules and screaming for someone to hear them. The White House sometimes gave him the same feeling. Realistically, he knew people passed over every spot on the earth and nothing made the walls of the White House or Kensington Palace any different in that regard. But the history in them intimidated him. The presence of greats, from founding fathers to celebrity politicians to monarchs, was a guarantee rather than a possibility. He couldn’t help but feel watched by them, feel their expectations and disappointment thick in the air.

Living there all the time as Ronan did must be lonely, surrounded only by ghosts.

He pushed his feet against the floor, leaning back in his chair so that it balanced on two legs. His leg swung back and forth to dully hit the wooden underside of the seat while the other braced him. Adam didn’t quite want to tell Blue any of that. He knew she would understand, both because she was Blue and because her family was a big believer in the supernatural and psychic. But he didn’t know how to say it without a long-winded rant. “There’s a coat of armor outside my room,” he admitted in a low tone. “I’ve been waiting for it to twitch its finger and beckon me closer.”

“I’m sure if you ask nicely it will let you pursue your weird metal fantasies.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Adam said without heat, finally flipping the textbook shut. “No kink-shaming over the phone.”

“I watched the Wizard of Oz with you at age eight, Adam. You can’t hide your reaction to the Tin Man from me.”

Adam rubbed his eyes. “I need ice cream to deal with this bullying,” he announced, standing from the borrowed desk and snatching his phone up.

“Aw, at least I know that the English haven’t been able to suck all the life out of you if you’re complaining and want ice cream.”

“They haven’t managed it yet, but we’re only one photo op in.”

“Well, if the excess of British does manage to sideline you, let me know. I know Gansey will want the heads-up for the tabloids.”

“As long as you don’t feed them headlines again, I’d be happy to.” Adam rounded the corner into the spacious kitchen reserved for guests of the Crown. He’d roll his eyes at the needless expense if the White House didn’t provide the exact same accommodations.

“I’m telling you again, I know nothing of the allegation.”

Adam gave her a flat look. “Who else would pen ‘First Son Denies Fur Son Residence in the Residence?’ Besides the obvious reason for it being bad, it was clearly you.”

Blue blew a strand of hair out of her eyes. “Sometimes I hate your intimate knowledge of my love of wordplay.”

“And I yours of the diplomatic taxidermy gifts I receive.”

“I’m sure the Minister of Foreign Affairs’ son meant well, he was just...creepy.”

Adam sighed, opening the freezer with one hand to reveal a box of pre-packaged ice cream cones. “They always mean well.”

He pulled the box from the freezer and shut the door, turning on his heel to face the counter. But he stopped short when he noticed it was no longer just him and Blue alone in the kitchen.

Prince Ronan stood in the entryway to the kitchen, disarmed in the half-light with his flannel pajama pants and black t-shirt combination. Over-the-ear headphones sat on his head, but he pushed them down to loop around his neck. The music was so loud it bled into the air, carrying the harsh sound of drums until they reached Ronan across the kitchen. On his screen, Blue studied Adam and his sudden pause, and the voice of Gansey carried over from somewhere far away - “I’ve got a new article,” it sounded like, though Adam could barely hear anything.

“Call you back,” he said quietly, disconnecting from the call. Ronan looked almost apologetic when Adam looked back up towards him.

“I thought you’d be asleep,” he confessed. “Goody-two-shoes like you.”

Adam wanted to take offense to it, but something stopped him. “I could say the same for you.”

“Yes, well, insomnia calls.”

“Doesn’t it always?” The two shared a tight smile.

“I was out,” Ronan explained, gesturing to the box in Adam’s hand. “Knew there’d be a stock here. I’m...sorry.” The word sounded bitter and foreign on his tongue.

“It’s fine,” Adam said. “Midnight snacks are to be taken seriously or not at all.” He slid the box across the counter, suddenly very aware of his threadbare, faded crimson coca-cola tee shirt and GU sweatpants. He couldn’t stop feeling the slide of them against his skin.

Ronan clutched the box once it reached him, looking to Adam with something close to surprise. Still, he opened the box and selected an ice cream.

While he was distracted, Adam snapped a picture, the flash bright in the dim kitchen.

The stare leveled at him by Ronan should’ve been enough to pin any self-preserving person in place, but Adam rarely did what was best for him personally. “What the fuck is that for?”

“Two social media posts a day,” Adam replied, speeding through the filtering process and tapping to the captioning. “It’s part of the contract.”

“Of course it would be,” Ronan mutters with great disdain. “Fucking social media addicted hounds.”

“Not a fan of technology?”

“Oh, sure, other than the fact that it’s a blight consuming the world by slaughtering brain cells and slowly giving us radiation poisoning.”

“You could’ve just said ‘yes.’”

“Ah, but where’s the fun in that?”

Adam smiled brightly. “Not giving me a headache from all of the pomposity?”

“Exactly. No fun.” When Adam continued to stare blankly at his screen, Ronan rolled his eyes. “Does it take you this long to caption everything you do? If so, I understand why so little governing takes place.”

“Because the monarchy is oh-so-powerful,” Adam replied, but then decided to cut them off before it could turn into a full-blown fight. “It always takes me a minute to think of something good.”

Ronan grabbed the phone from his hands. “You’re overthinking it,” he dismissed, making a few decisive taps before handing the phone back to Adam, photo captioned but not yet posted. insomnia ice cream ft. @PrinceRonan.

“Thought you hated technology?”

“Hate and lack of proficiency are two different things.” “...Of course,” Adam said, clicking post on the photo. Ronan turned and walked toward the door, the song on his headphones audibly changing. Not one for goodbyes, then. The feeling he had in his room was back then, the idea that ghosts clung to the air around him and stole oxygen with their demands. Although Ronan had not yet left, Adam already felt as though he were lonely. Lonely, but not alone, still technically with Ronan and all of the ghosts thickening the air.

Adam, in a fluid movement he didn’t really plan, dumped half of the ice creams on the counter and held out the box across the marble countertop as though bridging some wide ocean. The coolness of the marble inched closer to the skin of his forearm where it hovered a few inches in the air.

“You can take these if you’d like.”

Ronan froze, his back straightened and still before he turned ninety degrees back to look at Adam. “Pardon?”

“The ice cream cones. It’s probably better you do, honestly. I just eat them when I’m bored. Calories I don’t really need.”

Ronan’s startlingly blue eyes studied him for a moment, roaming every line of Adam’s face as though searching for some trickery and then jumping to the box in Adam’s outstretched hand. “Thank you,” he said at last in an undertone, accepting the offered box. And, leaving Adam with some hint of a smile, Prince Ronan was gone, Adam all by himself and the faint memory of intense guitar music leaking from expensive headphones still lingering in the air.

Once they landed firmly in PR territory, Adam felt a bit steadier on his feet.

PR he knew like the back of his hand, armed with years of experience from campaigns and political terms. It was not innate for him like for Gansey, but like everything else in his life, Adam was a star pupil and quick to pick it up thoroughly. He studied diligently, examining the facial expressions of everyone around him, examining each furrow of brow and twitch of lips and bellow of a laugh, practicing and perfecting on his own to ensure that he blended in seamlessly and, when necessary, stood out brilliantly. America’s First Son, valedictorian-intelligent and attractive enough to stop hearts for a moment upon seeing him. By the time he sat on ITV This Morning next to his enemy, he certainly knew all the tips and tricks and expertise ensuring a successful interview, and luckily Ronan seemed to know his way around a talk show as well. His thoroughly British host seemed appropriately charmed by their dynamic, a golden-child American and England’s simultaneously proper and wild Royal.

Adam excelled at PR not because he was natural but because he was over-prepared, and so he was comfortable with the rhythm he and Ronan fell into - referencing each other’s favorites, cracking dry, sarcastic jokes about ice cream, fist-bumping and throwing arms around each other’s shoulders for effect when needed.

He counted it as a win that his resentment never made it into his words or his actions. Instead, he distracted himself with what they were doing, savoring the news alerts of their “clearly natural” friendship and the thumbs-up and “!!!” texts from Gansey and Blue whenever something exciting reached the press. He ignored Ronan for the most part, and Ronan mostly ignored him. He clenched his teeth and smiled at how rough-and-tumble Ronan looked under stage lighting, as wickedly handsome as a poisoned and sharpened dagger, unfairly attractive even with his head closely shaved.

Then the time for their second photo op rolled around, sometime after Adam posted an empty-feeling snapshot of Ronan on a deserted London sidewalk with the caption love a nice mid-afternoon walk, and his mood plummeted sharply.

As well as people and hospitals generally went together, Adam did not have a particularly terrible relationship with any hospitals, especially the Royal Marsden NHS Foundation Trust. He did not enjoy them, sure, but who did? And his discomfort may have gone below the surface-level “death and sickness occur here” jitteriness most people felt, but the majority of the unease coiling in his stomach came from the utterly staged feeling to everything. The First Son and Prince came bearing gifts of books, but they probably did more harm than good for all of the children by displacing all the medical professionals and disrupting their steady routines with full camera crews.

It felt hypocritical, and Adam definitely didn’t want to be shoving cameras in the faces of cancer patient children, but the decisions weren’t up to him, and so he slipped back into PR mode. He shook the hands of nurses and posed faux-candidly for cameras. The only real things he did were with the kids - once they knew who he was, they asked for stories of celebrities and monuments, and although Adam was no fantastic storyteller, he did his best to answer every question and then some. He read to them, too, from the new and donated books, even when the cameras left in search of Ronan. Anger was hard to hold onto when he looked into their faces and resolved to cheer them up.

He read until his voice began to grind at itself, tucked next to kids on narrow hospital cots. They were all ages, and all perfectly suited to throw Adam back into memories he didn’t want to relive. Looking at the books, with the gaudily-colored pictures and ridiculous rhymes, was easier than looking at the children. They all looked to him with similar looks painted across their faces and twinkling in their eyes, one that made Adam’s heart twist, because he knew that he’d worn that expression so often as a child when he thought someone could help him or save him. They looked at him like he was hope itself, some savior come to grant them a wish and a recovery. He didn’t want to disappoint them.

The visit of the First Son and Prince of England must have cut into naptime because at some point Adam looked up from the book to realize that the camera crews had retreated and all the patients in his ward had dozed off. He slowly unfurled himself, gangly limbs and all, to stand without disturbing the child who rested so fitfully on the hospital cot. His steps were soft and random against the tile, mostly just a blind search to try and find Ronan. It wasn’t long before he heard Ronan’s voice stretching over space from the next room over. Adam slowed, hoping to stay just out of sight while still observing Ronan.

The Prince perched on the edge of a narrow hospital bed, reminding Adam ridiculously of a bird poised to take flight. Since there were no cameras near him, his posture was slightly relaxed like it had been in the kitchen the night previously. A little girl clung tightly to his hand while he gestured wildly with his other, her eyes wide and hanging onto his every word. Ronan’s voice was somehow hushed and grand at the same time, his posh accent dulled to something a little more rural.

“When three hundred years had come and gone, the four swans traveled South to the sea of Moyle, braving the turbulent tides that wanted to draw them under.” He leaned closer to her and tugged lightly on her free hand with his free hand, perhaps to echo the water he mentioned in the story, and she gripped it tightly, nearing laughter with every second. “They swam past the cold and stormy seas, their feathers ruffled but unharmed when they reached Inis Glora. The swans had grown tired over their long journey, the years of their lives catching up to slow them down.”

Adam, without thinking, felt a bit of a smile take over his face. He was taken aback by the change in Ronan. The boy sitting on the bed seemed lightyears away from any other version - he’d gone a little hazy at the edges, as though he were made of smoke, as though Adam was dreaming and viewing some kind of apparition. His tailored lines still stuck out jaggedly, cutting a harsh figure, but he seemed at ease and gentle for the first time Adam had ever seen. One hell of a storyteller, too. Adam wasn’t sure he wanted to know why, as the Prince of England, Ronan could let all of those Irish words roll off of his tongue as though they came naturally.

An Irish children’s tale. An Irish children’s tale. Why would he know any of those? The answer nagged at Adam’s brain, but he couldn’t find it in himself to dig.

The girl was quiet as Ronan’s voice trailed off until it became nothing. The swans had returned to elderly humans and lived with a priest who blessed them for the rest of their days, and Adam assumed that she was processing the anticlimactic ending. Finally, she said, “I like those endings best.”

“You do?” Ronan asked, patience yielding in his tone. “Why do you like them?”

“Sad endings are too sad, but happy endings aren’t real.”

Adam could only see the back of Ronan’s head, but he could hear him clear his throat and see him squeeze the girl’s hand in his much larger one. “Me, too.” He leaned away from her a little, letting go of one of her hands. When he spoke again, a smile was in his voice. “You’re much wiser than the adults I know. I might have to offer you a position advising me.”

The girl laughed again, a giddy and wild and hopeful thing. “You’re very silly,” she informed Ronan, likely too young to realize any breaches in etiquette. Luckily for her, Ronan didn’t care, either.

“I am very serious,” he said, his face no doubt translating that sentiment very well. He squeezed her hand again. “I’ll be back with an offer in fifteen or so years, don’t you worry.”

“Is that a promise?”

Ronan stilled at once, the muscles in his back set just as they had been in the kitchen. Adam didn’t envy the situation she’d inadvertently put Ronan into. As childish and silly as her question was, there was a little too much weight to the response for him to casually offer a yes or a no.

“Do your best to get better,” he said at length, “and I’ll see what I can do.”

And, oh, that expression of hope was back shining on her face, and Adam had to shuffle to his other foot, looking away. The people were the reason he liked politics, liked the idea of trying to help build a world even a fraction better than the one he was raised in, and yet he couldn’t look. Couldn’t bear the thought of letting anyone down.

Ronan glanced behind him, clearly catching sight of Adam, just as a nurse bustled into the room and cheerfully announced that it was time for medicine.

“Thank you,” the little girl said before releasing his hand.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Ella,” Ronan said with a stiff formality that made her giggle again. “And of course,” he added, a little more softly.

It was perhaps not a polite enough exit for a prince, but after Ronan clumsily thanked the nurse and stepped back into the ward to meet Adam, he knew it was the best they would get. Ronan continued moving past him in the direction Adam assumed the cameras must have gone.

“Ah, so you do have feelings other than anger,” Adam said, trailing Ronan into the hall.

“Don’t act so fu... completely surprised,” Ronan replied, turning his head towards Adam. At first, he thought Ronan might have been uncomfortable with the idea of Adam seeing the interaction, but instead, his face started to squeeze into something close to a smile, his eyes crinkling and the corners of his mouth lifting. A pop from down the hallway shuttered the expression before it could become fully formed. A shout cut through the air just as Persephone appeared between Ronan and Adam as though materializing from thin air. Her impossibly long, white hair clung to the sleeves of their sweaters with static friction as she shoved them with surprising strength into a closet.

Her voice was still serene and airy despite the sudden tension settling on everyone’s chests. “Wait for the all-clear.” And the door shut with a thunk behind her.

Adam leaned his head against it with a sigh, before very rapidly remembering that they were two high-profile targets in a possible active shooter scenario and doors weren’t exactly safe. He scrambled backward, accidentally knocking into Ronan and sending them tumbling into the wall. Of all the closets to be unceremoniously shoved into, they had to be stuck in one barely large enough for the brooms stacked to his right.

“Can you stop falling into me, please?” came Ronan’s voice, taut with something close to fury but probably closer to anxiety.

“But you love it so much,” Adam bit out, trying to backtrack. Ronan’s face had somehow ended up in Adam’s hair, and he could feel Ronan’s long lashes close, paired with a troubled exhale. Adam managed to extract himself from Ronan and slide against one of the walls, crouching beside something he suspected was a bucket. Ronan followed his example, leaning against the opposite wall until he slid to the ground. Adam couldn’t see Ronan very well, but judging from the faint rustling sounds of buzzed hair against cotton and quick, deep breaths, he wasn’t handling the situation very well.

“This is a new one,” Adam said. “Assassination attempts, I mean. Is this common for the royalty?”

“Shut up,” Ronan said, his voice faint from his position closer to the ground.

“I’m blaming you if we die, you know.” When he received no response, Adam continued. “I probably could have made it at least a couple more years. No one’s ever tried to shoot me before. Guess I’m not important enough on my own. Who knew our fake friendship could be so deadly?”

“Fuck off,” Ronan replied, his breaths still deep.

“I’d love to, mate,” Adam said, forcing faux-jolly British inflection into the last word, “But we’re stuck in this closet for the foreseeable future, or until we get shot.”

“I meant shut up before that happens.”

“What, you’re not keen on life-threatening scenarios?” Ronan didn’t respond, and Adam felt a bit of genuine concern leak into his other thoughts. “Are you doing alright? I thought you of all people would be used to this.”

“Not keen on tight spaces,” he grit out, his teeth likely bared in that dangerous way that made Adam’s hands curl into fists. “Now fucking stop for a minute.”

They sat in silence, nothing but their breaths filling the space between them. The silence must have started to grate on Ronan because he broke it first.

“It doesn’t happen all the time, you know.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I’m telling you.” Ronan breathed something that sounded like dumbass. “Once, when I was small and out in public with my father. Declan was there, too. I can’t remember much of it. That’s the only other time.”

“Suppose it’s as good a story as any,” Adam said, his voice just a hint louder than Ronan’s whisper had been. “Glad I can hear it trapped in this minuscule closet with you.”

“You’re the one with the foot digging into my hip, not the other way around.”

“Where the hell am I supposed to put it, Your Highness?” He nudged his foot and Ronan surged forward, clamping a hand around Adam’s mouth and the other clenching in Adam’s collar, practically hovering above where Adam stretched out uncomfortably. Adam much preferred this almost-fighting to their pretending to be friends.

“Shut the fuck up. I don’t want to die today.” Adam tried shifting to free himself, but Ronan had a firm grip and he couldn’t gain any ground. Instead, he licked Ronan’s palm, and Ronan was quick to drop his hand in disgust with a quiet noise of discontent. He found himself pinned with one of Ronan’s glares, the intensity tangible even in the dark.

“I don’t want you to die either, you sodding idiot. I’m not the only one in here. You talking is ruining both of us.” “Clearly you’re not, this might actually be comfortable without you and your ridiculous, showy muscles. But I didn’t realize you cared, sugar,” he said, thinking fleetingly of his mother, “if I was breathing or not.”

“Right now, your life is tied very closely to mine, and so I do.”

“Sweet as honey,” Adam taunted, thickening his drawl. Most of the time he tried to school his words into something a little more Northern, but he enjoyed the way the southern accent bothered Ronan.

“No peace, none at all,” Ronan muttered. “Not even in the looming face of death.”

Adam could have said the same, really. The last thing he expected to see from Ronan while shoved into a dark closet with him was any genuine emotion. But the stories, the fear in the enclosed space, the story of his father-

His father. Of course.

“Was that story from your father?” He asked, although he already was sure of the answer.

Ronan’s response clipped. “Yes.”

His conscience was still mostly intact, and so Adam began to feel a little bad for picking a fight while in a stressful situation and then bringing up Ronan’s grief. “You’re a good storyteller.” Ronan’s silence was judgemental and disbelieving, so he persisted. “What, I can’t give a compliment? You are.”

“My siblings and I had stories read to us like everyone else, Parrish. We’re not programmed, bland colonialism robots.” A pause. “Well, Mathew and I aren’t.”

“Of course not, imperialism comes first.”

“You’re welcome for the country, then.”

A brief silence followed. It felt, inexplicably, like the two of them had been toeing a line ever since Adam stood outside of Ella’s door and heard Ronan speak to her. They were inching closer with every word spoken.

“My father was the real storyteller,” he admitted, and Adam internally marked another inch traveled. “Since he was an actor and all. He always told us those stories even though he wasn’t technically supposed to. I just...imitate.”

“Imitate?”

“Yes,” Ronan said, providing no other explanation. “Why do you give a damn, anyway? You don’t want childhood tales and neither do I. You hate me.”

“We’re stuck like this forever,” Adam admitted. He’d known it before, but speaking the words made them feel more real. “Neither of us likes it, but here we are, shoved in a closet together. We have to pull off this act for the rest of our lives, Ronan, and I need something more than a cheat sheet your PR team slapped together.”

Ronan was eerily still for a long moment before he finally spoke. “Then why do you hate me?”

The question caught Adam off guard. “What?”

“Why do you hate me?” Off of Adam’s wary look, he threw the words back in his face. “We’re stuck together just like you said. I need some kind of answer.”

Adam sighed, acquiescing. “Do you remember what you said in Rio?”

“The fuck are you talking about, Parrish?”

“The Olympics?”

“When you threatened to push me into the River Thames?”

“No. You being a condescending dick at diving finals.”

Ronan was still for a long moment before bringing a hand to his shoulder and easing himself back away and off of Adam. “Oh. Shit.”

“So. You remember?”

“Vaguely.” A pause, elongated in the dark. “You heard?”

“Yes.”

“So that did it, then?”

“Yes.”

But Ronan must have known he had more to say because he stayed silent.

“I probably would have hated you no matter what,” Adam finally admitted, some low part of his gut feeling heavier with the admission. “It’s just - I wasn’t even the First Son then, and everyone was already comparing us. And it didn’t matter if they thought I was better or you were better or whatever, it was just - the idea of you bothered me, a white boy born with the power to make such change and unquestioning support from millions who was throwing it all away instead. And I’ve been compared to a shit ton of people in my life, from my mother to Blue and Gansey to just - everyone, but somehow with you, it was always the worst. So yes, it was the diving finals.”

“But it was also you being self-conscious?”

“But it was also you being an asshole.”

“Yeah, it was,” Ronan admitted lowly, and Adam blinked at the admission. “I was - I definitely was one. I think I was one all the fucking time back then. It doesn’t excuse anything, but my father passed on...not long before, if you can understand.”

Adam didn’t understand, couldn’t understand, but he nodded all the same. He felt something in his throat tighten. “Of course. I don’t think I’d realized.”

“It doesn’t excuse it,” Ronan repeated. “I’m sorry.”

This was something heavier, truer than his other apologies - something beyond deeply-ingrained politeness that allowed him to apologize for petty things. It was as though he genuinely asked for forgiveness, like Adam had any real choice in the matter, like Adam’s forgiveness was something Ronan actually wanted. Adam never expected to receive a genuine apology from the Prince of England.

“I appreciate it. And I’m sorry as well. For...not realizing.” Ronan’s figure visibly relaxed even though it was barely visible.

“So, depressing Irish stories. Is that your default?”

“I’m afraid the Irish don’t have a lot of serotonin-filled stories.”

“There’s the English in you,” Adam said to a breathy laugh from Ronan. “Do you remember any more?”

“Probably couldn’t forget them, if we’re being honest. And not speaking to the press.”

“They hate me at the moment, so you have nothing to worry about.” He paused before he continued. “Would you tell one?”

“...why?”

“I don’t know. We’re stuck in here, aren’t we?”

“Be careful what you wish for. I’ll write you in as a Celtic witch.”

“I always thought I’d make a very dashing villainous magician. If that’s the price to pay, I can live with it.”

Ronan was silent, and Adam thought that he had given up on any conversation. However, he spoke again, his voice oddly light. “Once, the fierce Fianna believed in many things, none as much as the beautiful Eden laying in the Western Sea. Tir na nÒg, it was called, and the name passed between them like a secret.” Suddenly breaking character, Ronan said in his normal whisper, “That means “land of the living” for any uneducated parties.”

“Dick. Go on.”

There was something captivating in this new way Ronan spoke paired with the near-darkness and tight space of their closet. “Fionn, the leader of the Fianna-”

“Great naming process, by the way.”

“Shut the hell up or no story.”

Adam shut up.

“The leader of the Fianna led them to hunt the deer along the shores in County Kerry, including his son, Oisín. But Oisín soon caught sight of a single, bright light in the distance, all the way through the thick green of tree foliage. As it drew closer, he saw that the light was, instead, a beautiful girl with hair of spun gold astride a snow-colored mare. When Fionn inquired as to who she was, she informed them that she was Niamh of the Golden Hair, daughter of the King of Tir na nÒg, and she had come to take Oisín as her husband-”

Ronan cut off abruptly, and Adam almost asked why, but a moment later he heard the source of the silence - heavy footsteps outside the door. Suddenly, neither of them breathed, instead choosing to sit in total petrified silence.

And slowly, mercifully, the door crept open, spilling cold white light along the floor of the cupboard and across their splayed legs. Persephone stood in the doorway, her expression relaxed once again.

“False alarm,” she said breezily, reaching out her hands to haul them back to their feet. Adam shifted uncomfortably on pins and needles as his legs shot back to life. “Fireworks, not guns.”

“Fireworks in a hospital?”

Persephone shrugged. “It was some teenager.”

“Always is,” Ronan said, dangerously close to a joke. He blinked rapidly, setting his shoulders back to stand at his full height. He slanted a look towards Adam, his mouth curving into something wicked but not intimidating, all bark and no bite. “Bonding is over, then.”

“Thank God.”

17 notes · View notes

kkulmoon · 4 years ago

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Freaking Dumblr :(( absolutely good for nothing. Didn't send me a notif, if i didnt check your blog and scroll thru i woulda miss it >:( tumblr fite me!!

And yeah!! I do scanslation, been doing it since i was 12 😂 it been a while. I used to own a pretty big group too but then I quitted cuz dramas in scans are abundant and i rather waste my times on something else. Nowadays i'm pretty much do work for whichever groups that need help. I would tell which group it was but... that would reveal me 🤫

Okay things i love about myself part 3/10: I like my height. I'm 150cm so i am very short, and i used to HATE being short cuz i get tease a lot but now i learn to love it cuz i get call cute while hiding my evil side hehehehe 😈

Hehehe they says "be careful what you wish for" and I wish for PAIN!!!! I lost my shit over them all the damn time but blood sweats and tears.... i will never get over it.... THREW ME STRAIGHT BACK INTO MY VAMPIRE PHASE THAT I THOUGHT I GOT OUT OF AND I HATE THEM FOR IT

Hmmm, do i like the current version of myself? In some part, i do like how much I've matured. But i do wish to change a few things, maybe able to articulate my thoughts better. The way I say things tend to be from A straight to C instead of from A to B to C (does that even make sense?) So people misunderstand me oftens, and I may cause some unintentional hurts so I want to fix that in the future. What about you?

I'm glad you had a productive and healthy day!! Joon would definitely been proud 😤 i spent my day trying to win back my kitty's affection cuz she recently got a surgery and is wearing the collar of shame and is hating everyone 😭 she won't let me pet her just stand up and sashay away, what a brat >:(

I swear we're both writing novels and taking up people's timeline 😔 #sorrynotsorry.

Question of the day is: what are some of your pet peeves? -Valley's Lilies @valley-lilies

i sent a petty email to support about it and they fixed it so now i am happy lol, well until next time it happens 😔srry about having u scroll i rb a lot 😭

OH DAMN 12??? wow, what was i doing at twelve 🤔?? nothing productive i know ;(( oohhh i am srry about the drama that must rlly suck ;// i have so much love for scanlation groups tho especially the ones who share their conversations on the manga. then you must speak japanese, right?

awwww you’re so tiny and fun sized uwu, i’m literally almost 20 cm taller than you 😳, short people rlly are cute tho at least all the ones i know, except for this one kid in high school who i played soccer with, he was sooo annoying like pass the goddamn ball once in a while 😠O.O you have an evil side you say? what is it you’re hiding 👀??

anon valley’s lilies you lost some rights after putting me through the mental torture that is joon in a crop top but you’ve earned them back cause bst was just WOW SUCH A COMEBACK!!! hey i’m telling you, you never truly get over ur vampire phase, NEVER 🤪i still go back to it once in a while and they pulled it off so well, such a visually pleasing cb, you know that joon scene with the smoke ,that was when joon being my bias was CEMENTED for eternity ughhhhh

oh yeah you’ve definitely matured if you’re able to look at the way you communicate and find flaws... and yes it does make sense, i mean you know what B is in your mind, it might even seem so obvious that you don’t mention it and end up at C directly, or at least that’s how things have appeared to me. hmmm i want to change my behaviour, like conceptually i know what i should be doing but actually getting to it is a big hassle, i have a tendency for self destructive behaviour in certain areas of my life ;(( i’ve gotten much better but there’s still a way to go, like saying no, i NEED to start saying it more often, i’m way too lenient at times 😩

namjooning activites are the most healing, plus i am interested in learning how to pick mushrooms cause we’ve gotta a lot were i live. speaking of healing, what are your favourite healing activities? awww poor kitty ;((( she’ll come around, all cats have attitude problems according to me lol. i hope she’s feeling well, despite the collar ;))

folks you heard what she said, typing novels i shall continue to do lol

#valley's lilies 💞#asktrail #anontrail

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justanearth-boundmisfit · 6 years ago

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It's fucking hilarious how you don't even have to give a hint regarding who you're talking about when you say /that/ meta writer. They're one of the people that actively drove me out of the fandom with their relentless ~endgame~ bullshit. When I see how the fandom is STILL swallowing their new self contradictory words, I feel like I made the best decision to stop caring about SPN altogether.

Hi anon! yeah ikr? Sadly I know a few people that left the fandom for the same reason. Metas and the bunch of merry positivity police force going everywhere, policing blogs and opinions, trying to “teach” how to watch the show or just plain and simple searching our tags to find things that were not “meta narrative approved” so they could send messages or rb our posts, to show us how WRONG we were about everything.

Well, it turns out we were right, and they were (and are) full of shit, go figure.

But meanwhile people got attacked, shamed for having a different opinion, called “the dark side of the fandom” for only liking Cas, amazing bloggers were (and are) compared to bronlies just because they watch spn just for Cas… and so much more. So much bs.

You are not the first person messaging me saying that they left fandom because of them. Some were tired of the constant attacks, some left out of fear and some found other shows and fandoms that are much more accepting and constructive.

Sad to hear that you left fandom because of their bs. But I’m so glad that you could leave spn behind. I’m trying to do the same. It’s a slow process because I try to keep things quiet while rb things that make me happy, but when I read meta bullshit I just can’t with myself. They keep lying to people, they keep pushing a non existent subtext and narrative. And now they say that they didn’t know about how PR works and that they were naive? Nah, I can’t read that shit and not write something about it, even if it’s just to vent a little.

So many of my friends left fandom because of their bs, so many good people… it makes me sad and angry. And worst of all they have imposed this “rule book” where they tell you what you can and what you can’t talk about. Like they have an authority on anything when everything that they wrote was wrong or a blatant lie. After three years of this bs, someone has to say enough. I’m a nobody with a little blog, but I’m not going to shut up about all their fuckery and hypocrisy.

Take care anon!

#Anonymous #ranty replies #rant #vent #replies #don't like don't read #anti metas bullshit #naive my ass #opinion #dirt for ts

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chasing-rabbits · 5 years ago

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I dont think the monetizing on your mentally ill page is a bad idea, IF you do it the right way. I think the idea behind spreading the word of mental illness, raising awareness and destigmatizing it is what we need to do. If selling buttons or stickers or shirts or what have you to sell accomplishes this goal then go for it! I would buy a pin that says " __awareness" I would NOT buy a pin that says "SOS my girlfriends bipolar" BUT ur smart and you get it so I doubt you would do that anyway lol

Well considering I have bipolar and bpd and am currently battling stigma from MH professionals yeah I just i see on redbubble the site i use for my vegan designs. Like I looked up bipolar some of it was just horrible like there was these his and hers tops and it was basically correlating bipolar gf w/ crazy etc and i just...idk i find it in v. bad taste especially since i found no evidence to suggest this person has bipolar or any mental illness that is heavily stigmatised. I understand using dark humor to cope but i feel if you are going to sell on the nose dark humor related merch it should be about a disorder you personally have. You know? Also i would not sell even dark humor stuff that uses the word crazy in reference to bipolar. Like when I say dark humor and stuff i mean like i used to follow a blog called self harm shark and some ppl sent it hate saying it glorified it and such but honestly it helped me on tough nights not to cut/not to feel less alone i actually felt less crazy because many user submitted stuff I could relate to and its one of those things where you might think youre alone in feeling this or that and you realise youre not and that is sad sure that someone else experiences it too but it is relieving to know youre not the only one it makes you feel less crazy bcos u realise its not just you so its almost like not normal but its not like youre the only one who experiences it therefore you just idk im not good at explaining it just makes me at least feel less crazy etc. But yeah i mean..idk i just think yeah certain things shouldnt be joked about and i feel like if youre not suffering with said mental illness or dont have a relative or partner or anything with said mental illness you shouldnt really even consider making dark humor or on the nose jokes/humor/memes to sell etc. Cos it comes off as more well..do you actually think that? Are you stigmatising us or thinking these things? Are you trying to make a buck off mental health but you dont care about the mentally ill? You know you just never know someones intentions. I know like for example i woudlnt want to buy vegan merch off someone whose not vegan who doesnt believe in the vegan lifestyle..when I could buy a vegan pin or magnet or coaster set etc from a vegan trying to work hard to make a living its just yeah... I have some designs in mind actually that i have already created for bipolar and mental illness. I actually have one saying my mental illness is not your adjective or something like that. I do have one i created that says ‘bipolar af’ i created it when manic and now ive come out of mania im not entirely sure if its a good idea to sell it or not? I mean im not sure if that is like idk if the as fuck bit makes it sound bad or if it could be misinterpreted and seen as like..the whole using it as an adjective thing like what if people buy it who are like buying it to like use bipolar as an adjective in that terms like you know how people say the weather is so bipolar or quite often bipolar is used to describe someone who just has mood swings or someone who people might define as highly strung or ‘crazy’ idk im not sure if the AF bit makes it seem like thats how its gonna be viewed. I mean to me idk I guess it was just an idea of a shirt or pin etc saying hey im bipolar and you know im not ashamed but in less words...idk if youve noticed but im extremely like anxiety riddled and so worried of being seen as what i despise and that..like worried my designs or words might be misinterpreted or that i might have like a dark humor post or something and maybe it is abit too on the nose or that people might be upset about it or so on. I dont know because no one can police how someone copes with their illness but it is different when that person it putting it out there for sale on pins and stuff you know? Oh btw I am going to be making pins and magnets and other stuff. I am currently working on deciding if i do it through Teepublic/Redbubble or if I use this local manafacturer I found in Leeds (im from good old britland lmfao or brexshitland) Which might be more costly because Idk that i’d be able to afford to bulk buy the products..i mean I could always do like a uhh thing where whats it called where you have a campaign and you set a limit/target so you say once i reach 100 sales i’ll buy the product and ship it out kinda thing? But idk because i mean what if it takes literally a year to reach 100 sales and people dont want to wait that long. So im not sure...i mean I could do a gofundme maybe but idk how that works..or how to set it up. I really want to focus on my Mental health blog and socials and that combines with my poetry as much of my poetry is mental health related and so recovery related too. So my poetry is less of something i really need to worry about maintaining because i write when i want to when i get inspired or when I need to vent to keep my mental health in check. So i just do it off the cuff as and when and post it to my poetry tumblr. I have over 500 pieces stock piled that I just need to schedule to my WordPress site. So thats not an issue. So I guess right now I need to work out where to focus iike Mental Health stuff or vegan designs for my Rb or what I could do is just dedicate a day a week to the vegan designs on redbubble as its not very time consuming to create the designs. And then I can upload them like as and when maybe just spend an hour a day uploading designs and making a new instagram post and sharing that on facebook and here. So then I have 6 days minus an hour a day to work on my mental health stuff which is my main focus and passion tbh. I guess ive been delaying it because ive been strugglign so much lately ive felt like a fraud or felt like i’d be a fraud preaching happiness and recovery and talking about things to help yourself during depressive episodes etc when i was just mooching around watching tv and just feeling blah...you know? I just..I dont know where to start with the mental health stuff and im so afraid of failing and fucking up or being judged and people thinking i suck or like recently i got accused of faking my mental illnesses from a guy in a UK businesses networking group..he sent me a tirade of hate and how he was gonna shame me for being a fake and claimed he had borderline PD and bipolar too and how hes learnt most people fake it and take advantage of the system put in place to help people really mentally ill luckily the admins removed him from the group..but its just..it really got to me you know. My biggest thing is being told im faking it because so many people think borderlines fake their mood shifts because we change happy to suicidal in seconds or at least i do sometimes at my worst..its just hard..i get it can seem attention seeking because we over react to minor issues and arguments but thats literally the definition of our disorder. we are emotionally unstable and we think and like evrything to us is in extremes i love to the max i get angry over reactive to the max i ahve extreme fears of abandonment triggered by slight changes in my relationships w/ people things others might not even pick up on.. idk i got a lot to say and dont know where to start! haha but thank you I will definitely look more into creating mental health based merchandise..

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wiersema1 · 7 years ago

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2017 Butkus League Preview

Reid’s Cornhuskers Preview – Is this finally the year “Red Reign” emerges as Butkus League Champion?

Ladies & Gentlemen! Welcome to the 19th annual Butkus League season! Can you believe Reid’s ‘Huskers have never, ever won the Butkus Bowl Championship Trophy? I can’t believe it either. Now 0-7 in Butkus Bowls, the Huskers are aiming to get the monkey off their backs. Two “Real Championships” are nice (the most cumulative points in a season) but it’s time to bring the infamous Butkus Bowl Championship Trophy home to Mundelein, IL. Since purchasing said trophy back in 2001, I’ve hardly even seen it. It’s a fiction of the mind. Does it truly exist? Has it been updated with engravings of Champions and their MVP’s? Given the lack of effort by fellow Butkus Leaguers, the answer is “doubtful”.

So here we are, the dog days of Summer. That means it’s the Dutch Lion’s favorite time of year. That also means it’s time for you to sit back, relax, and strap it down while reading this amazing team preview of “Reid’s Cornhuskers”!

First, let’s recap the previous themes/slogans used to motivate the ‘Huskers each season!

2003: “Full Throttle” – Starting our 5th season, I decided to start with the team slogan idea. This one was inspired by the “Charlie’s Angels” movie if I remember correctly.

2004: “Can You Stand the Rain?” – Butkus Bowl Runner Up – An overriding theme of rain and water has been a prevailing idea throughout the history of team slogans.

2005: “When It Rains…It Pours” – Butkus Bowl Runner Up – Morton salt

2006: “The Impossible Dream” – One of my favorites, inspired by the 1967 Boston Red Sox run to the World Series. One of the greatest sports slogans of all time!

2007: “Shutting Out the Ghost of Autumns Past” – Butkus Bowl Runner Up – I found this one in a baseball encyclopedia when researching the old 50’s Brooklyn Dodgers

2008: “Forget About Next Year” – Butkus Bowl Runner Up – Another play on the Brooklyn Dodgers

2009: “Like a Bolt of Lightning” – Inspired by Nebraska great Heisman Trophy Winner #20 Johnny Rodgers

2010: “Refuse To Lose: The Scoring Explosion” – 2010 Real Champions – Butkus Bowl Runner Up – Inspired twofold by Trev Alberts’ self coined 1993 Nebraska theme and the 1983 Nebraska’s “Triplets” who had a record setting offensive season.

2011: “Unfinished Business” – As you’d guess, we followed that up with 1994 Nebraska’s Championship slogan

2012: “Echoes of the Mind” – A really funny one based on my tough decision to tank the season on purpose in hopes of rebuilding. Taken from an episode of Magnum, P.I., this direction panned out with the 2014 Real Champions team starring Marcus Mariota and Melvin Gordon.

2013: “Forget About Next Year….This IS Next Year” – Yet another play on the Brooklyn Dodgers

2014: “It’s All Over But The Shouting” – 2014 Real Champions – Butkus Bowl Runner Up – One of my Dad’s favorite sayings when the outcome of a game was decided despite time being left on the clock.

2015: “We Shall Never Surrender” – Inspired by Winston Churchill’s famous speech to the Allies in 1940 which ultimately inspired the conquering of the Nazis.

2016: “Not In This Lifetime” – Inspired by the Guns ‘N Roses 2016 world tour reunion after being apart for two decades.

I thought I had another Magnum, P.I. slogan in there somewhere called “Infinity & Jelly Doughnuts” but I can’t recall exactly what year that was used. I’ll need to research that one.

And now announcing this year’s theme……….

2017: “Red Reign…….I’m Only Happy When It Rains“

That’s right! It’s time for the Cornhuskers to bring out the “Red Rain” (inspired by Peter Gabriel) with a play on words inferring the Big Red will reign as champions once again! Adding into this year’s theme is some Garbage, and I’m not talking about trash. I’m referring to the song “I’m Only Happy When It Rains”. This fantasy team is gonna rain down with points this year. It’s gonna be a torrential downpour of points. Watch out for the tsunami of scoring gentlemen! “Red Reign” is gonna get ya!

Here’s my roster as we head into Saturday’s 19th Annual Butkus League Draft:

Quarterbacks

Jake Browning/Washington – Who would have guessed Browning would go out there as a Sophomore and throw 43 Touchdown passes? Not me……so probably not even his father “Easy Ed” Browning. Jake is cool, like his dad, and like the other side of the pillow. Hence his nickname “Easy Ed Jr.”. What’s on tap for Browning this autumn? Who knows! Maybe a Heisman run. Why does Browning seem to get overlooked? As usual, it’s the East Coast bias, the bias against the West Coast (outside of USC), and his small stature. I’m happy he’s only 6-2. Maybe he’ll bypass the NFL to remain at UW for 2019.

Jacob “Boy Wonder” Eason/Georgia – I’m surprised at the lack of respect that Eason has received. I know he didn’t have an excellent freshman season but how many frosh DO have great statistical years? Not many. Eason threw 16 TD with just 8 INT and led Georgia to an 8-5 record. Sounds a lot like Browning’s freshman season (16-10 ratio leading UW to a 7-6 record). Hmmmm, well that’s interesting. Browning followed that up with a remarkable 43-9 ratio while leading the Huskies to a 12-1 Pac 12 Championship season that ended in the Semifinals with that loss to Alabama. Can we count on Eason improving to 43 TD’s this year? No. But I think we can count on improvement. He’s got the strongest arm in all the land!

Jesse Ertz/Kansas St. – A late trade acquisition from Mike’s Tigers, Ertz steps into the starting role at QB2 for the ‘Huskers. This guy only threw 9 TD passes. That’s the bad news. The good news is he ran for 1,012 yards and 12 rushing scores. Is he a sleeper? I don’t know. He had offseason shoulder surgery. Does that mean he’ll go back to throwing more in ’17, or does it mean he’s not even healthy enough to play? Ertz is a definite question mark. However, I love Senior QB’s, especially for Coach Snyder.

Daniel Jones/Duke – Another unheralded QB with moxie, Jones brings plenty of promise. He’s a possible star under Coach Cutcliffe’s tutelage. Is he good enough? Is his team good enough? Probably. Duke finished 4-8 last year but had 3 consecutive winning seasons prior to ’16. I’m hesitant to have a Duke QB again (I once tried his predecessor Thomas Sirk with mixed results). For now he makes a solid backup QB2.

Running Backs – This is probably the greatest group of RB’s I’ve ever had in 19 years of Butkus League. As our good pal Phil Steele would say, “Given that they are ALL ready to break out, I’ll call this unit……..better.”

Tre Bryant/Nebraska – I’m really excited about this guy, jersey #18. He looks like a solid all around back. Will he split carries with Ozigbo and Mikale Wilbon? Probably, but I like this kid from St. Louis.

Justin “Taco Bell” Crawford/West Virginia – I highly believe in his talent. He’s very, very good and I like his character. He’s got work ethic. He even works at Taco Bell in his free time to provide for his young wife and child. Why did he only score 4 times last year? It’s hard to say. Even Coach Holgorsen wondered. He once said Crawford has just got to finish. Here’s betting he puts up 12-16 scores this year after getting tackled inside the 5 so many times last year.

Ronald “RoJo II” Jones/Southern Cal – RoJo is a superstar! It’s funny how I dropped this guy last year after several sub par performances. I was so so lucky to get him back right before he broke out with some serious high quality performances. Darnold for Heisman? How ’bout RoJo!!!!

Kamryn “Bubba” Pettway/Auburn – As you may know, I love big backs. This Fullback broke out a la historic big backs “Big Two” Jorvorskie Lane from Texas A&M, “The Tyler Rose” Earl Campbell from Texas, and 300 pounder Joe Hall from Kansas St. Anyone remember that guy? He was a bull. That reminds me of another. How ’bout the “Brahma Bull” Alley Broussard from LSU. “Bubba” is more like another Auburn great from long ago, Rudi Johnson. Rudi was lighter on his feet, though Pettway is a big beast that wears down defenses. “Bubba” had a phenomenal year until he blew a tire late in the season on that long breakaway. Anyone see that? It was seriously funny stuff. No one touched him and then he just keeled over like he had been shot running away from a sniper. What in the name of Marion Motley was that? LOL!

Jorvorskie Lane – Texas A&M

Rudi Johnson – Auburn

Joe Hall – Kansas St.

L.J. “Lawrence Phillips” Scott/Michigan St. – He runs like the great LP. Scott is oozing with talent. It’s a shame that he arrived at MSU when they started to go in the crapper. If he gets a lot of carries, I’m convinced he will amaze fans and become a big name going into the 2018 NFL Draft. I’m not sure I’ve seen a guy that runs more like LP since those dominant Huskers days in the 90s. Phillips remains one of the greatest talented RB’s in college history.

L.J. Scott

Lawrence Phillips

Mike Weber “Grill”/Ohio St. – Weber should have gotten more carries last year. You could tell there was just something wrong with the OSU offense. I’m so glad they hired former Indiana coach Kevin Wilson to coordinate OSU in ’17. He does a great job with his running game. I bet he tells J.T. Barrett to stop hogging the ball so much and to hand off more to Weber this Fall. Last year: Barrett 205 carries, Weber 182 carries. This year I expect: Barrett 120 carries, Weber 275 (Saquon Barkley had 272 for comparison’s sake). Barrett for Heisman? How ’bout Weber for Heisman? He averaged 6.0 ypc on those 182. 275 x 6 = 1650 rushing yards. 1650 yards would make me happy. It would also impress Heisman voters. Watch for Mike Weber to “grill” the Butkus League in 2017!

Wide Receivers

Tavares Martin/Washington St. – Like most of my team, I think Martin is getting no love. He should be getting hype as a main cog of Coach Mike Leach’s “Air Raid” system. Last year Martin had 64 catches, 728 yards, and 7 TD as the 3rd option. Now with Gabe Marks and River Cracraft gone, I could see Martin improving quite a bit on those numbers. Luke Falk is still there and he’ll probably put up another 4,000 plus passing yards. Martin should easily eclipse 1,000 yards and 10 scores.

Dante “Gary” Pettis/Washington – Both of my returning wideouts is from the Great Northwest. Ohhhh, beautiful country the Pacific Northwest. Fantastic pass catchers too. Pettis is the son of baseball great Gary Pettis and brother of NFL WR Austin Pettis. Gary’s brother Lynn played baseball too. Lynn was a little strange though, at least in the baseball card as seen below. My buddy Bush and I always wondered about Lynn, all based on one lousy baseball card. I guess Gary was a prankster and grabbed his 16-year-old brother Lynn to pose for this 1985 Topps baseball card. I know what you’re thinking…..maybe we should just tweet Dante and ask about his uncle. Oh well, who cares? Not me. I just enjoy watching Dante catching long balls from Browning and then using that sprinter speed to launch himself to the end zone. I love those Pettis’s!

So that’s where we stand heading into the Draft. Start with those twelve superstars, sprinkle in another 12 guys including a tight end, a kicker, and a dominant defense in the draft and we’re looking at a 2017 Butkus League Championship!………Finally. “Red Reign” is back and better than ever.

2017 Reid’s Cornhuskers Preview 2017 Butkus League Preview Reid's Cornhuskers Preview - Is this finally the year "Red Reign" emerges as Butkus League Champion?

#Auburn Tigers #Butkus League #college football #Duke Blue Devils #fantasy football #Garbage #Georgia Bulldogs #Heisman Trophy #Kansas St. Wildcats #Michigan St. Spartans #NCAA football #Nebraska Cornhuskers #Ohio St. Buckeyes #Peter Gabriel #USC Trojans #Washington Huskies #Washington St. Cougars #West Virginia Mountaineers

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