#calling me a terrible person wasnt that nice i guess | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bulbabutt · 11 days ago

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yooooooo all i do lately is vent vent vent uhhh

itsssss really annoying to feel traumatized over shit that doesnt actually matter at all but you cant feel like a person who functions cuz of it

like. mkay, few years ago i did a stupid thing which was uh. pre coming out but post taking testosterone tell this girl ('girl' she was older than me, im an adult but sos she) i that i was trans. then that i had a crush on her. like a fucking idiot, i was like 'girl pretty girl nice maybe i can finally have something'

and the thing was like. we had this lax fucking job that didnt matter, we were both basically running this shitty lil store nobody came in for the christmas season. and like i had admitted id never done anything, but i should have noticed it was gonna be weird quicker, cuz while she was understanding of like 'ok yeah youre a dude i get that' it was. hmm. it wasnt really like she felt like that, and she didnt notice so much that shit she would say hurt my feelings. like this was so unserious honestly, but uh the thing abt taking t in your mid 20s is youre like... right im... im going through a literal puberty and being stupid as a teenager. im bad with expressing my feelings normally cuz of that.

anyway. it was a fling really. it was stupid and shouldnt have happened, and it probably hurt me more than i thought, but she got like... jealous of one of the employees who id known from a prev job... who to me was like. literally a child (cuz like, id known her since she was) and that made me feel so weird, cuz i was like ?? why the hell would i be thinking about her like that i havent done ANYTHING that would make you think that. and hello i only said i liked you ? but then i guess the age gap was the same in her eyes and so that might have been why she thought that. but like pfft if youre ~25 dating a ~30 yr old its whatever thats normal. going the other way gets weirder ESP if uh. HELLO i was this kids boss?? that was so weird that she felt like that. i guess cuz i was just better at getting along w people younger than me, as someone who isnt a TRUE millennial, someone whos pop culture references lean gen z or whatever. idk i just know kids like my vibe for some reason. there was NEVER anything else going on i was just... being chill? but that was enough to cause jealousy.

but like yeah theres only so many 3 weeks in 'i dont think this is a good idea i think im bad for you' texts you can get before you just go 'yeah you know what i dont wanna do this anymore actually thats fine no hard feelings'

but i tend to be a person who just cant socialize with people for long periods of time, i ghost people a lot, i dont have a history of having friends i dont know how to maintain relationships, but also i really didnt want to at this point. i felt really gross about it and embarrassed for putting myself out there and admitting a secret about myself.

anyway next year rolls around and i see her at the next job season and she tells me she and another coworker found my tiktok page (cuz shit forcibly adding your contacts IS THE DEVIL) and uh. she had to explain to said coworker that i was trans. which. felt like shit. obviously. i was still not out.

anyway THAT person was a piece of shit who talked down to me and acted like i was terrible at my job and brought aLL the personal shit up as if i had ever trusted HER with any of it. like using my new chosen name in texts and shit to call me out for nothing. i had to give her a fucking 'excuse me, you dont get to call me that i never fucking told you that and its WEIRD that you think you get to call me that just cuz you invaded my privacy.'

she literally told both my bosses about all my private shit with this girl. like all that stupid bullshit about how we had dated and it didnt go well, she spread my private shit. and like... it all... ugh. like i got told by said bosses 'hey. none of what she said is important at all dont even worry about it.' and i really appreciated that. but that year was so bad for me, i felt like i was being watched like everything i did was being misconstrued. everything blew up so fast if there was something sma,, and it was 100% that person making it worse.

next year i just came out finally just was like. yeah alright. got a beard now, had my tits removed, might as well. and everyone was chill. personal beef spreading bitch didnt come back (the bosses were glad of that) shit was chill. was on friendly terms with "ex" being normal, never had any beef that year. was very much a 'the beef we had the previous year was this bitch egging her on'. i was partially running store. everything was fine i thought.

next year. as it turns out? was not asked to help run store that year. was very confused, there was a slot to fill that no one else could and i wasnt asked to do it. instead they had this absolute bigot who made everyone and i mean EVERYONE who worked there so uncomfortable, abusive language bigoted talk, wouldnt let people leave if they were sick ass piece of shit.. yeah he got the job. and everyone complained, but hes friends with the boss so whatever.

anyway reached my wits end. quit mid season. was fine, i was moving anyway, it was whatever.

you know why i wasnt asked to have that job? cuz the ex. for some reason without thinking, said 'yeah ill come back but i dont want him to be in charge after last year'. and she... never told me there was any problem. and that hurt me so bad. like talking to other people who were there, it all seemed like... okay, i was good at my job and would just.. act like a boss and not a friend sometimes. like be the guy going 'hey can you like. go do __ i need to count the till i dont have time to hear your funny joke rn'. and she took it personally. like its fine if youre sensitive to stuff, but i was under so much stress a lot and i dont always handle it well.

and that beef she had that she didnt tell me about turned into me losing a job, losing my sanity, feeling utterly betrayed and forcing everyone else who worked there to deal with the biggest pos as a boss with no repercussions. i heard from people post quitting i was being talked shit about by my prev bosses TO the employees. for the crime of... complaining about a bigot. who was misgendering me, being racist to other employees, making the teens feel unsafe to be around. like this was a SCREAMING old man kind of shit.

and all because the ex, initially, made a comment about not wanting me to be in charge. and i just... i really dont even know what i did. it was so underhanded. and when i asked her about it, she just said 'no i didnt say i WOULDNT work under you i just said i HOPED you wouldnt be in charge, and weeks later i asked why you werent in charge' but like??? no. you literally said something that cost me a job. you did. theres no taking that back, you didnt tell me any beef you had with me, you clearly equated job stress with personal stress. you cost me a job! YOU did that you set off a chain of events! and like i cant even begin to explain how much i helped her with shit at jobs. like i kind of took all the responsibility but we were both being paid the same. i would get called every day by her being confused by things while i was at home and help walk her through shit. it was fine, i was stressed but i was fine i never held it against her!

and she like. blew up that entire shit. that whole job i loved got blown up cuz i thought i trusted a person. like was it entirely her fault? obviously not. but that kind of shit.. it just hurt. the idea that i trusted her with my own shit years ago, then time and time again that blew up in my face until i just cant look back at any of it happily anymore makes me so upset. 8 years of a job i loved w a friend, and it all got ruined cuz i said 'hey by the way, im trans' and that spiralled into something stupid.

and i havent had a job since for SOOOOOOME REASON..... i sit at home doing fuck all cuz i cant stand the idea of being around anybody again. i dont trust anybody. i dont feel safe talking to people, being in public, having a job... its so stupid and i hate everything.

also the whole. got clocked and almost punched had my 6 ft brother not been standing near me at the time thing. so now i am uh. just completely agoraphobic.

anyway. sorry i am just in a bad place lately.

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gyllenhaalstories · 4 months ago

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presumed innocent episode 7 word vomit <3

i swear to god if raymond dies ... if he dies ... IF HE DIES

why the fuck are tommy and nico there just the sight of them will give ray another attack GO AWAY but lorraine in the scene with the doctor oh my godddd 😭 protective rusty ily

YAY RAYMOND YAY MY MAN ILY RAYMOND PLEASE GET SOME REST 💖💖💖💖💖

mya YES DO THAT YOU CAN CARRY ON you go queen!!!!!!

rusty DONT THATS NOT NO DONT REPRESENT YOURSELF THATS SO STUPID LEAVE MYA TO DO IT????????? what is he gonna do, get a boner in front of the jury just saying carolyn’s name? he can’t even testify as a witness because he’s messed up like*** 😭 RUSTY HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID HOW CAN ONE PERSON BE SO DUMB nononononono im so against that no nope let mya do it she can win YOU CANT RUSTY welp he’s fucked now

i can see it already, he snaps he gets angry he ruins everything he loses he dies in jail thats it thats the finale called it

ON MORE SEX SCENES oh the cinematic sequence cradling her stomach oh he loves her 😔

he doesnt even let mya lead? like? he just? well he lost the trial just then good job rozat

barbara encouraging this is suspicious… like i love you b i love you so much you’re so smart and beautiful but… she’s the only one besides ray who could have talked some sense into it and on the opposite, she encourages it? sounds like someone is being set up for failure

i keep bringing this up!!!!!!!!! carolyn’s no contact thing with her son that no one dared to talk about. WELL SOMEONE IS FINALLY QUESTION CAROLYNS DECISION ABOUT HER SON it had to be rusty wowwww well DUMB MINDS THINK ALIKE 😃

“careful” yeah you tell him Lorraine keep your man in check

“the idea that she didn’t want you in her life, but that she would have affection for me” bold of you to assume she had affection for you rusty

wow it almost went not terrible wow rusty I CALLED IT HE WOULD GET ANGRY AND HE WOULD RUIN EVERYTHING the thing about how michael studied carolyn’s cases WAS SUCH A GOOD POINT HE COULD HAVE ASKED ABOUT THAT BUT NOOOO

well done beyond a reasonable doubt fucked INDEED THATS RUSTY HES FUCKED but okay i would like to see nico go at it i hate him but tommy is a danger to the case almost as much as rusty is so like bring him on isnt he in office? wasnt he elected and all he does is collect dust and get angy at tomtom for under performing?

also wtf 😭 i dismissed the father of michael so long ago but they focus on him too much. dalton and michael? an impulsive death, a careful set up and tie up. hmm. the focus on barbara after rusty lashed out was also interesting. hmm. i hate being stupid.

the scene with eugenia? so emotionally charged why is eugenia so emotionally involved? the kid? CAROLYN WANTED TO KEEP THE CHILD? NO FUCKING WAY

“what a hero” 😭 nico stroked his own ego so hard after that and i cant even blame him, if he lead the trial instead if tommy rusty would be signed sealed delivered to jail

*** not me guessing on accident that rusty was gonna testify i hate myself

LET MYA DO THINGS LET HER TALK JESUS WHY IS SHE NOT TALKING WHY I HATE THIS

tommy’s vision board with cut up ties and bowties??? the creepy music is so 😭 how carolyn didnt hug him back is so 😭 scary man at work confirmed again

ray “the slay” horgan I KNOW THATS RIGHT

also not me spelling his name as hogan??? the whole time??! fake fan straight to jail

and rusty ruined everything ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING MYA LEFT HE IS ALONE AND HE WILL DIE IN JAIL ALONE

okay raymond coming back felt like jesus coming back from the dead when does jesus resurrect? i have no clue i was busy playing nintendogs in church at the one and only christmas mass i went to as a kid but ... oh my god wow thank you god for raymond HORGAN hoRgan

KUMAGAI RATZER THEY LITERALLY PULLED EVERY FUCKING PERSON ON EARTH AND LIKE RATZER HAD IT COMING after rusty had it coming for trespassing but he trespassed nicely he didn't bang at his door and scared his baby BUT LIKE JESUS FUCK

rusty wanted to spend the rest of his life with carolyn he was so in love. and when he talked with carolyn about how he cant stop thinking of her and wanting to be with her she looked bored. bored like when he was looking at her with love all over his face on the couch. bored bored bored.

i hate to see tommy succeed i hate to see nico succeed i hate to see anyone succeed except barbara and raymond and mya and jaden STOP SUCCEEDING

the fire poker??? WHO PUT IT THERE WHO CAN IT BE THE FATHER WHO!!! poor kitty the cat didnt deserve to be involved with this

AND POOR ME I AM SO FUCKING STRESSED THIS IS SO STRESSFUL I AM SO ANXIOUS RIGHT NOW I CANT STOP SHAKING I HATE THIS SHOW I LOVE THIS SHOW THIS SHOW IS TOO GOOD i deserve compensation i'm gonna look at rusty's shower scenes to calm down

THE FINALE WILL BE BRUTAL PLACE YOUR BETS !!!

#tv: presumed innocent

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swingxilly · 2 years ago

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15Qs / 15 Mutuals

Was tagged by my lovely friend @euryalex thank you!

I tag @sapphicmadameumbralis @esewarai @theannoyingknowitall @hedwigs-art @bibaleen @feymaids @lvl1-cleric

1. Are you named after anyone?

I asked my mom and she listed a lot of things

The book by Roald Dahl, the waltzing Matilda song by Tom Waits, and another by Harry Belafonte. (THERE ARE TOO MANY SONGS WITH MY NAME, ITS IRRITATING) Also some queen apparently

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last weekend xndnnd was on a phone call with a friend and she asked me how I was doing

3. Do you have kids?

No, and I dont want any.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Hm, I dont think so. Here and there, but not a LOT. At least not that Im aware of

5. Whats the first thing you notice about people?

I have no idea! Never paid attention to it. Im too nervous for that

6. Whats your eye colour?

Brown!

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings! I dont like scary movies and avoid them. Im also the kind of person who appreciates happy endings even if others think theyre cheap

8. Any special talents?

Not really, but I often guess the time right when somebody asks!

9. Where were you born?

Germany

10. What are your hobbies?

Video games, watching shows (at this point I probably should stop listing drawing and reading bc I really dont do those that often djdhd)

Although I could count music and dancing! And singing if I wasnt paranoid about my neighbours hearing me

11. Have you any pets?

No! And not planning to get any!

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

None! I used to be in some sports club tho, years ago. Idk was it gymnastics? Sth like that

13. How tall are you?

5'5, 167cm

14. Favourite subject in school?

Hm, towards the end I was good in English. German was nice too. Art of course. Our religion teacher was cool, so that was also kind of fun

15. Dream job?

Staying at home :p I really wish I had more time.

To actually answer the question, I dont have one. I work at the library tho. I think working at a public library would be more fun, but I dont wanna organize events and do public speaking. 😭 My university library is big enough that not everyone has to do that. But idk if its a FUN job. In summer Ill finish my training, well see if the position I get after that will be too boring. I hope not! Its not terribly stressful at least

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marunalu · 2 years ago

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Do you think characters can hate another character, but still class them as someone as a person near and dear to them despite negative feelings? I mean I guess Shouto had negative feelings towards Enji, but has show he cares but yeah

Yes I think so. For example, izuku is aware that bakugou is a jerk, he is to some degree aware that what bakugou did to him was wrong and he even said once (very much at the beginning of the manga) that he hates him. I think izukus feelings for bakugou are very complicated and with MANY red flags, because the manga shows clearly that izuku is NOT over his past trauma about bakugou abusing him for 12 years, he still calls himself by the insults bakugou gave him (useless, worthless and nerd), because it was hammered down so hard into his brain that izuku believes bakugou is right about him. Remember how shocked he was when toga told him that she is in love with him? Thats because for izuku its unthinkable that someone could love him like that. But despite the terrible things bakugou did, izuku doesnt want something bad happen to him. But that has more to do with izukus good hearted personality and him still living in the past at a time before the abuse startet and he and bakugou were still "friends". Izuku cant let go of that and thats why bakugou needs to stay the fuck away from izuku.

To make an way more personal example. I was severly bullied for 4 years when I was between 12 abd 16 years old. It wasnt just one or two people, but a whole mob in my school, even people I didnt even know nor I ever speaked one word with. They bullied me and other "weak" and "uncool" kids, just because they could and because to them

bulling others = I belong to the cool guys group.

Even one of my friends I knew since kindergarden startet to bully me the most of all (both physically and emotional), because she wanted to belong to the cool girls. She is literally my personal bakugou, only that I have thankfully no contact with her anymore. But despite what they did to me, I dont want something bad happen to them. I have forgiven them, but I dont want them near me. The funny thing is, sometimes I see a few of my past bullys at my workplace. They are nice to me, ask how Im doing but not one of them is able to look into my eyes. They avoid to look directly at my eyes and I can see that they are ashamed for what they did and dont really know how to treat or speak to me. Thats my very own personal revenge at them, because unlike them I can look them into their eyes without flinching and make them feel uncomfortable without even doing something, by just reminding them what terrible assholes their once were. So like I said, I dont want harm to come over them or they loved ones, but I still dont like them or want them near me.

With shoto its also a bit complicated I think. At the beginning shoto rightfully hated his father, but when endeavor startet to change for the better, shoto was able to see that too. He is ready to give enji a second chance, but that doesnt mean the past is forgotten now, because it never will be. I wouldnt say shoto startet to love his father, but he cares enough for him that he doesnt want something bad happen to him, because we need to remember that shoto is still just a 16 year old boy who never really knew what it means to have a loving father in his life and I think a part of him craves for that. Similar how izuku lashes himself so easy on male father figures like all might, aizawa, gran torino and to some degree even endeavor, because of his lack of his own father in his life.

#bnha #anti bulling #stop bulling

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fraener · 2 months ago

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9/19/24

i feel heavy in bed this morning. i can hear the varied thrushes and their magic music somewhere in the abandoned lot eating berries. i spent the day in tears yesterday. h came over the night before and cried because it was the first time he decided to listen to me when i said i wasnt primarily interested in bottoming(and he felt entitled to topping me). i held myself together during the conversation but it all came crashing down the next day, of course, when i actually let myself close to what he had been saying. i made the mistake of letting him know i was feeling really sad about the whole thing and told him i didnt want to see him and he called me minutes before i had to go to work to yell at me for being upset because i was "using what he had said in his vulnerable moment against him" and how manipulative it was for me to be upset after the fact rather than telling him how i felt in the moment because it meant i was punishing him. i shouldnt have picked up the phone, i guess i thought there was a chance he wouldnt yell at me for whatever reason. s called me on his lunch break and told me the whole thing wasnt about any of that stuff, not really, it was about the fact that h fundamentally cannot see me or accept me for who i am and that was the real discrepancy in the relationship. i dont know why i keep trying h in the kitchen, he doesnt belong there. someone who i have to hold carefully during an emotional display who cant handle any emotional display im having without getting extremely reactive doesnt belong close to me. im so tired. i am tired on a level beyond what ive felt for a long time. i am tired of finding these people and falling in love and having them treat me like shit and not even be able to recognize that what theyre doing is fucked up and wrong. the most disappointing thing is that i feel like i keep giving them the road map to stop being assholes and then they only follow it with the next person they love (which is, always will inevitably be, a woman). talked to si too yesterday, he is ofc patient and loving and steady with his gf of the last two or so years. hes afraid of introducing us. i wish it was all easier. i wish people werent ashamed of me as parts of their pasts. what do you do with the frustration that happens when the people you love let others control their lives and relationships? how is anyone ok with their partners telling them they arent allowed to be friends with their exes? and what the hell has dating come to, where now its a race to make sure you can pretend someone goes in the kitchen years before they would ever be able to prove that they could or were worthy of doing so? if it doesnt go that way people say "this isnt progressing fast enough clearly we arent going anywhere" and give up. really pondering the nature of immediacy, impatience and scarcity. what if i want to slow down?

im going to try and do some nice things for myself today. i think im going to take a bath, try and cook something good for my meals, maybe go and pick quince if theyre ready, maybe put some things up in the loft. ofc the late submission of my acd is screwing my transcript(of no fault of my own) but hopefully the registrar will see how none of that is my fault and take pity on me. a terrible end to a terrible wonderful chapter. i miss feeling excited about something.

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disney-imagines · 2 years ago

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May I please request a Rourke x Fem!Reader songfic with the song Mr. Wrong by Mary J. Blige ft. Drake? 😊

Sorry for the delay going through some personal stuff the past couple weeks but here it is!

You can listen to the song here!

Don't it seem like, like I'm always there when it matters

But missing most of the other time, a terrible pattern

The rewards I see from working made me an addict

There's way more people that want it than people that have it

I don't get it, I would hate to think I tricked 'em

Dating your superior was never an ideal situation, that situation made all the worse when your superior was Lyle Rourke. He was greedy, ruthless, and just plain mean when it came down to it. But you loved him regardless. It was tough trying to make it work, it always seemed he cared more about his job, about his next payday, but when he was there for you all of his attention was on you. Making you feel like you were the only other person in the world, he was charming and a romantic, but only when the time was right for him.

They fall victim to my system, guess I sure know how to pick 'em

And I'm always her regret, yeah, I'm always her regret

And I always make it harder on whoever's coming next

It goes up and down, it's just up and down

She's crying now but she'll laugh again

Cause we on the rise and she here with us

But right now was a time where he was totally focused on his job, and you were right there with him. But you might as well have been invisible as far as you were concerned. He was totally zeroed in on completing this mission, the lost city of Atlantis, you were surprised he agreed to this if you were being honest. It was never like him to believe in ancient myths and legends, but here you were in a giant hunk of metal at the bottom of the ocean. You were in your quarters trying to calm down to face the rest of the crew after a spat with Lyle, your frustration with being stuck here with your boyfriend who barely acknowledged you finally boiling over.

She loves it, she stares at me like who does this

And we hold hands while I pray that she's not the type to hold grudges, I'm wrong

Bad boys ain't no good

Good boys ain't no fun

Lord knows that I should

Run off with the right one

Me and Mr. Wrong get along so good (so good)

As you finished up splashing some water on your face to calm down you heard a light knock. Hoping it wasnt just Milo here to brief you on some new inane information about the culture of Atlantis you opened it and yo your surprise you saw it was Lyle. He stood in the doorway taking up a majority of it and holding some food that seemed a little too nice to have come from the kitchens here. “Mind if I come in?”

Even though he breaks my heart so bad (so bad)

We got a special thing going on

Me and Mr. Wrong (mister wrong)

Even if I try, no, I never could

Give him up cause his loves like that

Ain't no way that I'm moving on

I love my Mr. Wrong

Hung up off your good

You calling, I run

You take a second to comprehend before letting him in through the door. He enters into the small living quarters and setting down what he brought on a small table. You were in disbelief as you watched him sit down and start eating what he brought with him. Not a shred of remorse on his smug and currently extremely punchable face. “That’s it?” You finally say. He shrugs and continues eating. “You are unbelievable. I don’t know why I bother with this I should just break up with you get it over with”

My fam' is screaming at me don't do it

Don't do it baby

I guess they never had none

Me and Mr. Wrong get along so good (so good)

Even though he breaks my heart so bad (so bad)

We got a special thing going on

Me and Mr. Wrong (mister wrong)

Even if I try, no, I never could

Give him up cause his loves like that

Ain't no way that I'm moving on

I love my Mr. Wrong

After a few more moments or tense silence he stand once again and walks over to you “come on you don’t really mean that do you?“ he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a gentle hug. “You know when we’re on a mission I can’t get caught playing favorites right?” You nod into his chest and he pulls away and smiles, this time genuinely not like his previous smirk. “Listen I promise once this is over we’re gonna have more money then we know what to do with and we can go away travel the world just me and you”

When he put that loving on me

I can't think of nothing

That'll make me walk out

I'm holding on

I love my Mr. Wrong

He be kissing and touching on me

I can't help but love him

I must be outta my mind

For going so strong

I love my Mr. Wrong

“That’d be nice” you respond and he gently takes your hands in his and leans in and kisses you. You can feel butterflies in your stomach as you remember why you put up with him in the first place. He Leads you back to the table and you both sit down and begin to eat. You lean into his shoulder and once again feel like you’re the only too people on the planet.

Me and Mr. Wrong get along so good

Even though he breaks my heart so bad

We got a special thing going on

Me and Mr. Wrong, (mister wrong)

Even if I try, no, I never could

Give him up cause his loves like that

Ain't no way that I'm moving on

I love my Mr. Wrong, Mr. Wrong, turn the lights off

#disney #disney imagines #disney x reader #romantic #atlantis #lyle rourke #Lyle Rourke x reader #atlantis the lost empire

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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

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Keeping Up With Seijoh Pt. 10

a/n: based on this post uwu

okayokayokayyeyyy

LOOOK I LOVE THIS SCENE LIKE I CAN GO ON A RANT OF HOW IMPORTANT THIS SCENE IS LIKE SKDJSLDKKSSM

okay so

yuhhhhhh

the way this is set up is basically seijoh simping for you

also they have their own separate gc just for them bc they dont want you to see them just simping for you

even tho oiks ltr does that everyday

but hes not ready for that conversation

there was a few times that you were kinda curious as to what was in the chat

but they would click off and they would blush before diverting you to a different conversation

this might sound hella weird and creepy

idk bout yall but i think its cute that they take random pictures of you doing the sinplest things

this all started bc of one picture

from baby aki-kun

so basically you stayed behind with kunimi during monday to just study and you sat in front of him while sharing his desk

babie took a pic of you just studying and he sent it to the gc with no context

its a known fact that seijoh doesnt practice during mondays so they were all doing something out of school

but they were all missing you so seeing you with kunimi fueled jealousy in everyone

even kyo

oikawa blew up in the chat and was keyboard smashing

the others were just teasing him like hes lucky youre with him

but behind the screen, they were blushing and red and envious and AAAAA

thus spurred on some sort of competition

like they would send the chat pictures of you like 'hA TAKE THAT SHES WITH ME'

unbeknowst to you, these boys have folders of just cute candid pics of you

oikawas insta is filled of you and his snap is full of you in his story and his tiktok is full of screaming simp rants about you

the tiktok comments are all like,

‘IS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN SHES ADORABLE’

‘BACK🤺OFF🤺OIKAWA🤺I🤺CALLED🤺DIBS🤺ON🤺HER🤺FIRST🤺‘

random ones like him doing a day in my life type of vids and you appearing and everyone can just see the small blush on his face and the bashful yet happy smile on his lips

its really adorable

but the real ones know that shes been appearing in his insta since day 1

moilk.bread.1

thats practically your account now

welll,,,

its more of a fan account for you and a lot of people from aoba johsai follow that account since you dont have an official one yet so they all simp for you there

the pictures were all from everyone like the boyz group chat was a haven for your candids

you did think it was strange that the boys would constantly ask to take pictures with you and everyone was just trying to get a pic to have aesthetic couple pics w you

and they would put it as their wallpaper or lockscreen

IMAGINE THE BLUSH THEY WOULD GET WHEN COMPLETE STRANGERS WOULD ASK THEM IF THATS THEIR GIRLFRIEND

oooo i mentioned this in the post too that iwa and you went to the gym and you guys took a mirror pic

after, you didnt really like the gym bc its just hard yanno?

iwa went back and while he was setting up his weights and equipments, his gym buddy noticed his phone light up causing your picture to show up

'oh? is that your girlfriend, iwaizumi?'

duh he doesnt have a girlfriend so he was like 🤨 until he saw his phone

the lockscreen was blaringly bright and your 'couple pic' was showing with the notifications

totally not oikawa blowing up their group chat bc he was with you

ofc babie hajime got all flustered and he blushed before shaking his head

'n-no'

he mumbled and his buddy laughed before clapping his back

'well, you obviously like her so do somethinf about it before someone does'

dont you think he doesnt know that?

also with mattsun!

this mans works in a cute cafe that this old granny owns and this thought has been living in my head rent free

and he was working during the weekend at the cafe

there were other people there but granny loves him bc hes been working there sibce he was like 15 and she took care of him a lot

he was like a grandson

so while he was serving, this granny was manning the cashier and checking people out

issei's phone was there on the table behind the counter and it started glowing at the indication of the messages being received

'have a nice day-oh!'

she noticed it right there and she saw the picture on his lockscreen

you were probably being carried by him due to your levelness with his height and you were kissing his cheek while issei smiled brightly

that was a picture you both took during an outing at the mall and the sunset behind you was just perfect to take a picture in

poor granny was like 'oop dont look at the messages' so she turned it over to not go to his privacy

there again you were

it was a polaroid of you two and he was backhugging you at school

hint? 👀

askldfjlsdkf

she knew issei was a very handsome young man so there shouldnt have been a surprise that he would be dating someone

can we name this granny?

granny inko lol

okay so granny inko saw issei coming over to rest the serving board thing and she beckoned him over

mattsun nodded and leaned over the counter to see what she wanted only to be greeted with a flick to the forehead

‘oW what was that for?’

he whined while holding the spot

granny inko tutted disapprovingly before crossing her arms

‘youve been working all week this week when you could’ve taken time off to spend it with your pretty lady. is this how men are nowadays? didn’t i teach you right to treat women properly?’

duh baby mattsun was confused like O_O

‘wha?’

his dumb question made her grab the phone and place it on the counter in front of him

‘your girlfriend, child. women need attention constantly and as much as you want that money, is it worth losing that smile full of happiness?’

okay stop it granny im getting emotional

more like disagreeing bc that wouldnt put food on the table BUT ANYWAYS

baby issei was surprisingly embarassed and scratched his neck

‘um,, baa-chan,,,,, she’s not my girlfriend’

he flustered and gave her an awkward smile

granny inko shot him a confused look and tapped the phone

‘well, she looks like she is. and if not, better hurry your move, boy. girls that make men happy like that only comes as rare as a good scratch ticket’

LMAO

i do not encourage gambling so please save your money kids

you know what

these boys do that just to actually feel like it

okay thats confusing so imma explain it in greater detail

whenever someone mistakes you as their girlfriend, it makes them feel like you are for that split second and its just an addicting feeling

its like what if you were their girlfriend?

i mean, youre already the whole team’s girlfriend but theyre greedy brats and just want you for themselves

ohohohohoh

kyo!!

kyo def has a selfie of you both with the doggie filter but it was actually you who took it while he was just staring at you in the background

that was his lockscreen for like the rest of his high school career

lol

anyways!!

he was actually in a fight and during it, his phone fell off to the ground and conveniently oikawa messaged causing it to light up

one of the thugs had their hands gripping kyo’s collar and was pushing him against the wall while the others were surrounding them

they saw the phone flash and kyo cursed at the terrible timing and he made a mental note on killing oikawa later

a guy picked it up and he smirked, seeing the pretty smile of a pretty girl

‘heh? whats this?’

kyotani pushed the guy who was holding him but other two surged towards him and held him tighter

their leader snatched the device and chuckled

‘oh. its that bitch from his school. what is it’

he snaps his fingers as he tries to remember before stopping

‘aha! l/n y/n!’

kyo growled

‘shut up!’

the guy grinned at him and tapped the phone against kyo’s chin

‘oh yea. i heard shes a cutie. most people here know her, kid. now we know shes connected to you and guess what. you cross us again, she’ll take your place as you are right now. orrrr, we can,,, use her as our pet. thats how she is in your team, right? so let us have a turn. maybe we can send you a pic, hm?’

yea no that wasnt happening

kyotani easily beat those people up after because even just saying that unleashes power he didnt know he had

‘bastard. youre lucky this is just a warning. you touch her and i will kill you’

he landed one last kick on the guy’s face before taking the phone and leaving

now he has to figure out how to hide the bruises

you fussed later and he didnt tell you the reason instead just saying they said something that made him angry

nah

you were a person he didnt want to disappoint and he knows how much it hurts you to see him in that state

that was one of the things he hated but loved at the same time

you were such an empath that you would treat him and wince as if you were the one feeling the pain instead of him

and it made him feel special

you were one of the few things he holds close and he would be damned if anything happened to you because of him

the group chat was actually just blowing up with more screaming and the third years yelling at each other with the first years just casually reading the texts

they were used to the arguments within the team and you would remain so naive with the whole thing

kunimi is the type to keep silent and he didnt really care about anyone getting angry if you were spending time with him

but he does get annoyed if you were with kindaichi because you three were a package lol

like when kindaichi and you were at the arcade, this kid walked all the way there just because he didnt want kindaichi to hog you to himself

duh you thought this was adorable and endearing bc they wanted to hang out w you

no LUV theyre greedy brats who gets jealous over yOU

so like i mentioned before that you and makki would walk over to the bakery and you guys would buy food there and such

and its also canon in here that makki only shares his food with you and no one else lol

why?

because when you eat the puffs, you put one in each cheek and it makes you look so adorable like a squirrel

sorry but squirrels are so cute like AAAAA

makki takes so many pictures of you and a lot are surprise shots where your eyes would be wide with cheeks full of food

aaaaa so cute

like you and makki sat down on a bench in the park across the bakery and you excitedly dug in to your own treat

makki chuckled at your excitement but he placed his hand on you arm to stop you

‘y/n-chan. say aaa’

you lit up and let him put the puff in your mouth and thought he was done but was surprised when there were two

you happily chewed it and went back to looking at your treats

but makki interrupted you again by calling you out

‘princess~’

the nickname made your eyes widen with red painting your cheeks and the shutter of the camera made you realize what he did

‘makki-senpai!’

you whined and he laughed

makki had a lovestruck smile on his face and he wiped the bit of creme on the corner of your lip

‘gotta take care of my princess~’

STOPPPPP MY HEART? GONE MY SOUL? GONE HOTEL? TRIVAGO

OH MY GOD IM IN SUCH A MAKKI AND MATTSUN AND IWA AND OIKAWA AND THIRD YEARS IN GENERAL BRAIN ROT PLEASE HELP

but we gotta give love to the second years :’)

ive mentioned that watari is the only person to ever go into your house right?

well, he comes over to cook and such so you guys spend time making food for the team

watari takes this opportunity to take pictures of you cooking and the group chat cries bc its so domestic and they all start having the same thoughts

they really said seijoh braincells

it was like seeing a glimpse of a possible future for them

you, wearing an apron, cooking on the stove with your hair thrown in whatever with baggy clothes

gosh

thats like you someday being their wife and waking up one morning to see you there cooking in the kitchen

oikawa swears he had a dream that night because of that picture and he continuously thanks watari for YEARS because of that picture

okay are you curious about the dream?

yuhhh

oikawa woke up in an unfamiliar bed in a foreign room

he felt his bones crack when he stretched and his hand extended out to a side that was still quite warm

somebody must be sleeping next to him

then he stood up, catching his reflection in the mirror in front of the bed

;)

why would there be a mirror there hmmmm????

ANYWAYS

he noticed he had a bigger build and his hair was longer

then came the itch of the facial hair that he swore wasnt there a minute ago

this guy even checked out his butt and to his surprise, wow

obviously he was confused and a part of him thought this was the future

tooru walked to the door to go into the hallway and concluded, yep, this was not his house

then he heard music being played somewhere and a mixture of voices coming from a room

sounded like a woman and children

he stops at the top of the stairs, suddenly hit of the thought that this voice was so familiar

‘hm?’

tooru walked downstairs and stopped when down the hallway in front of the steps led to the kitchen where the voices seemed to lead to

‘mama! mama! mama! toast! i wan toast!’

‘in a bit, darling. just let me finish flipping the pancake’

the song was lo-fi with the volume being turned low enough to hear the voices fine

tooru wandered down the hallway and he stopped, finally seeing the owners of those voices

there was a handsome little boy sitting on the chair by the island and his brown hair was a mess of wild curls

there was a woman with h/c hair swaying to the tune and a beautiful little girl curled up in her arms while sitting on her hip

‘hey’

oikawa spoke out and caught everyone’s attention

‘papa’s awake!’

‘pa!’

‘hello tooru’

tooru froze

that was you

he knows it’s you

‘y/n-chan’

he whispered and you looked back at him from the pan

‘yes? if youre looking for coffee, we ran out apparently’

that was not what he was talking about

he hastily walked over to the boy and he blinked rapidly

‘you look like me’

he mumbled and the child grinned

‘eung! papa and yozo look the same! mama and nana say so!’

yozo?

feeling like all the attention was on him, the little girl whined and her hands made grabby motions to him

‘pa pa’

she whined and tooru just felt something in him that screamed to hold the kid

you shushed the little girl

‘dont worry, looney loon. papa’s right there’

loon?

tooru stayed frozen at his spot and you raised an eyebrow at him

‘tooru? luna wants you’

luna

that snapped him out of his trance and he held the little girl in his arms where she smiled at him and then he felt tears welling up in his eyes

then he woke up

okay sorry that was a long dream

so this dragged on for so long already okay

this was only meant to be small but aaaaa i couldnt help itt!!!!

but anyways!

the boys are just simps for you and theyre creeps that take pictures of you and they think about you all the time pls accept their love

also a mild continuation of the dream:

oikawa was holding luna and she was happily laying there when another figure emerged from the hallway

‘iwa-chan?’

he asked, surprised

what was he doing here?

iwa heard his name and grunted before going to a beeline for you

you smiled at him and he leaned in to give you a kiss to which oikawa froze in

iwa noticed his best friend holding his daughter and luna saw her father there

‘daddy!’

she shrieked and tooru blanched

‘uh, what?’

iwa extended his hands out to hold the girl but tooru held her tightly and leaned back

haji narrowed his eyes

‘um, give me my daughter, oikawa’

he grumbled and tooru shook his head

‘no! shes my daughter!’

you blinked

‘your god daughter, yes. but she’s half of your best friend, tooru’

half of his-

god? daughter?

‘so that means-’

‘piece it together, oikawa. did ya get brain damage or something? babe, call the doctor’

oikawa screamed

a/n: lol look WHO ROSE FROM THE GRAVEEEEEEE :) anyways. i really want to deeply apologize to everyone for taking an unexpected break and i shouldve told you guys and im really sorry :( everythings just chaotic lmao and im just like taking a breath for a second uwu and im so AMAZED at how many people still follow me even tho ive been gone for so long like bls yall are real ones :’) i love you all and the req box is still closed at this time as i need to finish the ones i have first soo thankyou for reading thiss and hopefully ill update soonerr!!! :)))

also not me completely messing up my kuws and missing 8 and 9 in my masterlist and having a mindblowing realization that i have 10 keeping up with seijoh fics

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honeypirate · 4 years ago

Text

Best Friends

Sugawara x Fem!Reader

unedited

“Hello” you say softly and the light haired boy in front of you turns around with a smile “oh hello! Can I help you?” You smile at his friendly face “yeah I’m looking for the volleyball gym?” He chuckles “that’s perfect! I’m going there too, I’ll show you the way! Are you looking to be the manager?” You fell in step beside him as you talk and walk, from that day you and Sugawara were practically inseparable. He joined the team and you became a manager with Kiyoko.

꧁꧂

“I can’t believe we’re third years” you say as you sit down next to Suga in the cafeteria, Asahi, Daichi, and Kiyoko there as well. “I feel so old” Asahi says as he takes a bite of his lunch. “We’ve been third years for a few months now,” Kiyoko says, like it’s supposed to not feel bad anymore. “Yeah well, I still feel old” Asahi says and you laugh, you’re all teens still but it feels like you’re reaching the top of the mountain now, where the other side is waiting to show you all your different paths. You didn’t feel ready yet.

Your hands start to mess with the frayed hem of your skirt, your thoughts elsewhere as you stare down at your unopened soda. Suga reaches over, placing his right hand over your hands gently. When you look over at him he just smiles softly, like he knew the train your thoughts were taking and wanted to let you know he was there for you. You smile up at him, he nods once as you reach up to begin eating your lunch. Suga’s hand stayed against your knee, the warmth from his palm sending tingles down your spine.

꧁꧂

Your friendship with Suga was always comfortable, always easy to be with him. The last two years were some of the funnest you’ve ever had because of him and the volleyball team. Even if volleyball hasn’t been easy, it was always fun for you because of Suga and your third year group. you couldnt help but crush hard on him, he was sweet and thoughtful. He truly cared about everyone genuinely and you couldnnt stop the way your heart lights up for him brighter than you’ve ever felt before. He made you feel special even if he was just handing you an extra pencil, it was in his eyes.

꧁꧂

Suga didn’t start acting more friendly with you until the beginning of third year, or at least that’s when you noticed it. You ran into him in the hallway and he was the one to pull you into a hug, holding you tight against him as he laughed, telling you how much he missed you during the break. He started placing his hand on your lower thigh or right on top of your knee if you sat next to him. it wasnt sexual, wasnt naything really, just a warm soft touch to ground himself and you didn’t mind it. You thought it was sweet but you convinced yourself that it was just friendly, even if you hadn’t had friends treat you like that before. but you couldn’t deny that it was another thing that made you feel special to him.

꧁꧂

“You know he likes you...” Kiyoko said as you studied on the floor of the gym before practice and you laughed “who?” she smirks and you laugh again “you must be mistaken... No one likes me, Ki” Kiyoko gives you a look and you stop laughing “who are you talking about?” You say and swallow hard and she smirks “tell me. Please” you say and clear your throat. She closes her notebook “Who do you think?” She looks right at you and you feel your cheeks flush as one person flashes in your head. No. It couldn’t be him. “Well I’d guess Tanaka or Noya but they seem to be very dedicated to you” she sighs and flicks her hair behind her neck “who has been even more friendly to you this year? Touching your knee, hugging you more,..” your eyes widen and she nods with a smile “Sugawara?” You whisper and she nods again, a smile on her lips.

꧁꧂

“Speak of the devil” Suga says as he walks in the gym, coming and crouching next to you with a smile. “Talking shit about me again, Y/n?” he asks with a chuckle, reaching out and tucking your hair behind your ear. You freeze, your breath catching in your throat as you look at him, wide eyed and confused. “Uhh.. well” you chuckle and try to get your bearings “you know me Suga. always talking” you laugh awkwardly and he laughs while looking at you funny, it isn’t what you do, you’re not a shit talker, and that was a terrible said joke, so flat. He gave a look to Kiyoko that said ‘what’s going on with her?’ Kiyoko smiles as she starts to pack up her things “I just got done tutoring her, she came to some revelations,.. But i suggested she ask you to tutor her since I don’t seem to be helping much”

Suga looks back to you with a wide grin “of course! You’re my best friend, obviously ill help you!” Daichi calls for warm ups and Suga is up and gone, leaving you to clean your things up with Kiyoko “not him. no . you’re wrong. He calls me his best friend. I'm obviously just a friend to him” Kiyoko laughs, sending you a look that says ‘he told me himself’ but she doesn’t say, and you don’t press her, you’d rather just convince yourself you’re right. He’s Suga for crying out loud! you’ve seen his fan girls at school, there’s no way he would choose you out of all those pretty girls.

Kiyoko rolls her eyes, she can tell you dont believe her but she did her job, she told you, it’s not her fault Suga wouldn’t drop the best friends thing, Kiyoko had told him that you were dumb and that you’d think it was a friendzone. But he said no, it’s way to show her i think we’re close. It’s a good thing to be best friends before a relationship. Not Kiyoko’s fault you were a bit clueless and ditzy. But maybe Suga will confess now that he’ll be tutoring you, and if you say you don't need tutoring you’ll be honest with him and he’ll tell you the truth. Either way, not her problem anymore.

꧁꧂

After you finish cleaning up after practice you throw your back pack on your shoulder before heading outside to wait in the cool air for the team to go get some buns. Kiyoko is on the phone a little ways off, facing the other side of the school as you wait near the bottom of the steps for the team. You tapping your toes as you sand just what was going through your head “i’m so hungry i wish these boys would hurry my stomach in a flurry needs some meat buns meat buns meat buns” turning into you doing jump lunges towards Kiyoko while you were chanting meat buns. Before you know it, Noya, Tanaka, Hinata and Suga are standing around you, copying you perfectly as you jump alternating legs forward as you alternate arms up in the air, all chanting “meat buns” as Kiyoko shakes her head with a soft chuckle.

꧁꧂

At the table eating a bun, your talk with Kiyoko was gone from your head, all that resided in your brain was steamed pork buns; nothing else mattered. You look up at Suga when he chuckles next to you and you raise your eyebrows “what’s so funny pretty boy?” you ask and he laughs again “so cute” he whispers and then reaches out, wiping the corner of your mouth with his thumb before popping his thumb in his mouth, licking it off as he turns his attention back to what Daichi was saying.

Your eyes glance in Kiyoko’s direction and she’s just smirking, she saw it all. Her eyes say ‘what did i tell you?’

“When do you want have a study session?” he asks and you swallow hard “i..i..um” you struggle through words, not knowing how to act after that action. You felt so flustered until his hand rested against your knee gently, it was like that cleared your whole head. You take a breath and look back up to his eyes “how about tomorrow after practice, we can stop and get some buns and then go to..”you think of your crazy family “would it be okay if we went to your house?” you cock your head and he chuckles “yeah that’s no problem. Tomorrow after practice, buns and biology” you chuckle and your hand reaches out, attempting to take a hold of his but before you can his hand has moved to pick up a bun, your knee cold from the lack of his warmth now. “It’s a date” you say quietly and your cheeks flush, turning to Asahi on your other side and asking about his hair care, not noticing the way Suga’s ears turned red and the way he looked at you after you called it a date.

꧁꧂(skip the whole next day) ꧁꧂

His room was clean, and even had a candle lit in the window. It smelled nice and was super organized which impressed you, but the smell of lavender bergamot did nothing for your nerves. You felt so anxious! Probably because you didn’t need it but oh well, you didn’t know how to tell him that so you would play along. You stopped by to get some buns, then headed straight for Suga’s, it was easy and comfortable. But now that you are in his room, sitting beside him against his headboard, you feel nervous and your hands are shaking as you scribble new flashcards

“Do you know why I like this marker?” he asks suddenly, his notes forgotten in front of him. “Why?” you asked as you looked at the black marker he had. He reaches over and takes your hand softly, bringing it over to him and bringing the tip down to your skin “It’s clear for the most part so i can see what i'm doing through it. So i can underline perfectly. Or draw” you pull your left hand back and see a cute heart on the fleshy part beneath your thumb.

“Oh my god” you say and and he looks up at you, worry flashing in is eyes “what?” he asks and you chuckle once before raising your eyebrows “you ARE flirting with me”

he chuckles softly “thanks for noticing” you stare at him with wide eyes for a few moments, in shock that Kiyoko was right and you didn’t believe her. He smiles and bops your nose softly, your eyes flinching before you laughed and held out your hand for his marker which he places against your palm gently.

“How long?” You ask as you reach for his hand, “how long what?” He asks as you thread your fingers through his, your heart racing and fireworks dancing across your skin “how long have you been flirting with me without me noticing?” You bring the marker down to his skin, just across from the heart he drew on you, drawing a matching one. “Since the Date Tech game last year” your head snaps up “that long?!” You groan “I thought you were just being friendly. You kept calling me your best friend” you hold up your hand with the marker and do air quotes with your fingers “I thought that meant you knew about my feelings for you and you were being obvious about friendzoning me” your fingers touch the ink on his skin, checking to see if it was wet still but finding it dry so you squeeze his hand tighter “wait. . .” he whispers and you look up to his eyes again “wait what” he laughs once and raised his eyebrows “your feelings for me?” He asks and you nod “I’ve had a crush on you since that first day when you showed me to the gym. We’ve just always clicked. I thought you knew and just wanted to stay best friends” he squeezes your hand and then pulls you into his chest with his other arm “I’m sorry. If I had known of your feelings I would have done something sooner. And I like truly knowing someone before I get in a relationship so yes you’re my best friend but I want so much more with you” he kisses the top of your head and you pull back, reaching up to bury your hands in his soft hair.

“I should probably tell you I don’t need a tutor” you whisper and he chuckles, eyes never straying from yours “That was Kiyoko covering for telling me you liked me. I can’t believe I didn’t believe her.” His nose brushes against yours as he raises his hands to rest against your neck “oh! Well, I’m glad we don’t have to study right now then” he says with a chuckle and then his lips brush yours and you gasp softly before smiling and pressing your lips to his, his thumbs brushing across your skin sending electricity down your spine.

꧁꧂

Going to bed that night you noticed the black smudge of a heart on the side of your neck, having rubbed off from his palm, along with several other budding purple marks he left across your skin. you reach up and brush the marks, memories of the night flashing through your mind as you squeal, filled with happiness and excitement as you run back to your bed and bury yourself under the covers, knowing you wont be able to sleep with how active your mind is, too busy reliving the experience to sleep, too busy being excited about seeing your boyfriend the next day.

#sugawara koushi #hq sugawara #sugawara fluff #haikyuu suga x reader #sugawara x you #sugawara x reader #sugawara x y/n #haikyuu x reader #suga x you #suga x reader #haikyuu x y/n #suga x y/n #sugawara fanfiction #haikyuu fanfiction

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drandnurseturner · 4 years ago

Text

The Wrong Impression

Call The Midwife Fanfiction

Nurse Crane & Miss Higgins

What happens when Nurse Crane finally confronts Miss Higgins about his not so kind reactions to The Turners?

As Nurse Crane exited the Mother’s room into the waiting room she passed Nurse Turner. She was smiling from ear to ear. It wasn’t unusual for her to be happy but she did seem more so than usual.

Nurse Crane noticed Miss Higgins scoffing at something across the room. What on earth could be she be scoffing at now? It was a look of disapproval that Nurse Crane had seen on many occasions.

That’s when she spotted some beautiful flowers.

“Oh! Aren’t those nice?” Nurse Crane said aloud as she approached them. “Are they yours Miss Higgins?”

Again. That scoff. “No. They do not belong to me.”

“Oh. Well then who’s are they?” Nurse Crane approached Miss Higgins desk.

“They belong to Nurse Turner.” Miss Higgins was looking down at her work. She obviously didn’t want to discuss this.

“From Dr. Turner? What a sweet man still surprising his wife with flowers. They are beautiful!”

Again. The face. Nurse Crane had seen it so many times but just then she realized The Turners were one of the main reasons for it.

She placed both of her hands on the edge of Miss Higgins desk and leaned toward her. Miss Higgins looked over the rim of her glasses. “Can I help you Nurse Crane? This is quite a rude way to be approached.”

“We have known each other for some time now Miss Higgins. I would venture to say we have even become friendly and as a friendly person I want to remind you that everyone can see the expressions that appear on your face. Most of the time I am in agreement with them but I am not today.”

“What are you talking about Nurse Crane?”

She leaned in closer to Miss Higgins. “Do you know their story Miss Higgins? Or do you think you know? From your expressions and scoffs I would guess the latter.”

Miss Higgins sat there in silence as Nurse Crane backed away.

“As a friend Miss Higgins, may I suggest we have tea together after working hours? I think I may be able to change your opinion.”

“I will not take part in gossip Nurse Crane!”

“Neither do I but that seems to be what you have chosen to believe instead of the facts.”

No more words were spoken. Miss Higgins did as she usually does and continued on with her work. Nurse Crane smiled to herself as she walked back into the Mother’s room. She was not one to involve herself but this time she felt she must.

There had been no further communication other than what was necessary between the two ladies. Nurse Crane left before Miss Higgins. She hoped she would take her up on her offer but it seemed she wasnt interested.

Later that evening Nurse Crane sat around with the Sisters and nurses of Nonatus House. They were having their handy crafts and quiet time when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it.” Nurse Anderson said as she got up.

A few moments later she reentered the room with Miss Higgins.

“Nurse Crane. Miss Higgins is here to see you.”

Nurse Crane was shocked. She noticed everyone was looking at her in surprise. “Oh well of course!” She stood up from the couch started to guide Miss Higgins toward the kitchen. “We have a tea time this evening don’t we? Let’s pop on the kettle.”

Nurse Crane could hear Nurse Franklin asking what this was about. The Sisters mumbled something about it not being her business. No matter the situation, Nurse Crane was not one to out someone who had been misled.

“Please sit down.” Nurse Crane stated. “Thank you for coming by.”

“I do apologize for earlier.” Miss Higgins had a sad look about her.

“Oh please! Let’s get this tea set up and we can discuss it in the garden. It’s a lovely evening, we should take advantage of it.”

This was not a discussion Nurse Crane wanted overheard. She knew Miss Higgins was a difficult woman but she meant well. She understood what it was like to be misunderstood. Her misunderstandings with Sister Evangelina were difficult for her. In the end the two became friends. She hoped for the same outcome with Miss Higgins.

The ladies walked to the garden in silence. Nurse Crane carried a thermos she had filled with tea and two cups. They sat down on the bench and Nurse Crane handed Miss Higgins a cup and poured tea for each of them.

“I’m sure you think me an awful old woman!” Miss Higgins blurted out.

“Not at all lass!” Nurse Crane placed her hand on Miss Higgin back. “Sometimes our opinions can be based on untruths.”

“But you are right Nurse Crane. I do scoff at them and I am horrible for it!”

Miss Higgins was becoming very emotional which Nurse Crane hadn’t expected.

“I had heard things before taking my position at The Surgery. I didn’t want to believe them. I am in that reception room all day. Patients think I must be deaf but I have heard some terrible things.”

“Why did you believe them Miss Higgin? You know the gossip in Poplar is very toxic!”

“How do you all do it?” She was crying now.

“What’s that?”

“Stay so happy. All of the time. Day in and day out. All of the terrible things you all see yet you always see the bright side. You all are such beautiful people.”

“Oh Miss Higgins! You can’t go through life letting things bring you down. I think that’s how we have all survived what we have. Together we are strong. We bring each other up.”

She handed Miss Higgins a hanky. “Now. May I tell you one of my favorite stories?”

Miss Higgins sat up and collected herself. “I’d love if you would.”

“I was hoping so.” Nurse Crane grinned. “Years ago, before I came to Nonatus, there was a Sister and a Doctor.”

“So she was a nun!” Miss Higgins eyes widened.

“Oh yes!” Nurse Crane said knowing how that gets everyone each time. “The Sister had a difficult childhood having lost her mother at a young age. She joined The Order right after nursing school. She was a wonderful nurse and midwife. The Doctor had recently lost his wife and was left with a son. Oh what an amazing young man he was. Although, they had known each other for years, it was as if the stars had aligned as they say.”

“How’s that?”

“The Sister became ill.”

“Oh no!” Miss Higgins was hanging on to every word.

“She had tuberculosis. She had to live in a sanitarium while she recovered. What no one had known was that the Sister had been questioning what God was requiring of her. She did not feel it was to be a Sister but rather something else.”

“What? What happened?”

“After a lot of reflection and prayer, this Sister decided to leave the Order. When she had made her decision, she read every letter the Doctor had sent her while she was away..”

“He wrote her? What did they say?”

“Miss Higgins! I don’t tell secrets such as those.”

Miss Higgins frowned.

“I don’t know the content of the letters.”

They both laughed.

“But I do know they led to these two marrying and having a beautiful family.”

“The Turner’s.” Miss Higgins stated.

“Yes.”

“How do you know all of this?”

“We may all work together but we are friends as well. Shelagh and I have enjoyed tea and biscuits a time or two. Instead of wondering if what I had heard was true, I simply asked Shelagh how they came to be.”

“That would have been a simpler way.”

“Yes it would have been. And...before you ask, yes there is an age difference but one thing I have learned about all of the marriages and relationships I have witnessed in my years...age is just a number.”

“They are a beautiful family which is why I often found myself torn between what I witnessed and heard.”

“I have learned it’s better to believe your impression than those of others.”

“You’re right. I feel so terrible Nurse Crane!”

“This will stay between us Miss Higgins. No need to fret as long as I don’t see anymore of those scoffs!”

“I can’t promise you won’t see one here and there when they are being a little too personal for a professional environment.”

Nurse Crane laughed. “I love when we see a little of their personal life. It fills me with joy to see the happiness of others. Even the “mushy” stuff as Master Turner used to say.”

The ladies laughed and continued with their tea. Nurse Crane knew Miss Higgin meant no harm and she certainly wouldn’t be disclosing her previous beliefs to anyone.

#call the midwife #shelagh turner #nurse turner #the turners #turnadette #call the midwife fanfic #fanfic #ctm #ctm fanfic #call the midwife fanfiction

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fox-steward · 4 years ago

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hi. i hope you don't mind me asking this but i need some advice.

i was born female, and ive always been a tomboy, sometimes in the most stereotypical way. i was also a little lesbian who didn't know it yet. but after my younger sibling came out to me as trans, i started second guessing everything about myself.

for the sake of my sibling, who im closer to than anyone in my life, i learned about what theyre going through to support them and ended up getting taken in myself. i consumed all the yaoi and gay fanfiction they did, i read up on all the identities that were within the trans umbrella and eventually i started to think i wasnt a girl at all, but my infact a feminine transboy.

i never was able to transition on account of my family but the growing inner hate i felt for myself made me want to because deep down I knew that no matterr what i said or believed, id never be the cis gay boys i, essentially, fetishised and craved to be. it made me miserable, but i wanted to be accepted so badly that i stuck with it. but then i fou d your blog and others like it, and reading through it, whole reevaluating myself made me realise how misguided my mindset was.

despite realising that me being a tomboy is perfectly fine, i cant help but cling to that idea of being a boy, even though i have no idea what it means to "be a boy" or "feel like a boy". all i know is what the media portrays boys, feminine boys and gay boys to be like, and i clung to that idea for so long that i believed it to be my identity.

i just wanted to ask, if i can, how can i get over this mindset? i feel terrible because my younger sibling still identifies as trans without a shadow of a doubt, and my questioning of myself makes me feel awful, but i also feel bad because... i dont know who i am really now. how can i just be me again?

sorry this is long. any advice would be very very much appreciated.

it sounds like you’ve been through it, anon. whew! i just wanna acknowledge what a mindfuck you’ve been through, and it’s normal to feel no so great.

i actually think you’re grieving, strange as that sounds, but hear me out. being female is not easy, being a masculine woman comes with its own set of challenges, and imagining yourself as a “gay transboy” was an escape from all that. you could imagine a future for yourself where you grew up to be a gay man, not a gay woman. it’s worth noting relationships between men are the only sexual/romantic pairing that isn’t party to misogyny within the relationship itself.

it’s intoxicating to imagine we could have that ourselves, huh? it happened to me too, and i’m not even actually attracted to males at all, i was really just seduced by the idea of a relationship of equals.

but this. is. a. fantasy. one we as female people can never achieve.

so you’re grieving the vision you had for your future. your grief doesn’t care that the thing you promised yourself is impossible.

you’re undergoing another shift in the way you see yourself, the way you imagine yourself moving through the world. that’s hard, anon. being a tomboy, while absolutely lovely and perfectly fine, can be really difficult in our misogynistic society. it’s like that dworkin quote i’m about to butcher—something something absolutely excruciating to be fully aware of the misogyny all around us. you get the gist. and she’s right, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.

so idk, i don’t have any specific advice, but i do know a lot about grief. with grief, you gotta accept you’re gonna feel shitty for a while and absolve yourself of the responsibility of ~fEeLiNg HaPpY~ for now. i’m being flippant because happiness is a mirage anyway. we get pricks of joy, moments of brightness or laughter, flow and contentment, enjoyment, pleasure, and these fill in between other moments of discomfort or monotony or tedium or malaise or or or. and if we’re lucky we are aware when the good stuff is happening, so that we can pause and say, gee this is nice. and if you get enough of then and you’re aware enough as they’re happening, perhaps you can tie it up in a bow of hindsight and call it contentment.

tangent, sorry. practically, keep yourself busy and tire yourself the fuck out, tbh. when my wife left, i started just going and doing things, anything i didn’t actively NOT want to do. dancing, concerts, art class, bike ride, walk a friends dog, cooking class, sit in a field and listen to music.

just do anything. i know it’s hard during covid, but it isn’t so much WHAT you do but THAT you do. take the field example—you have to travel there (that kills time!) and maybe you walk or bike (that is physical activity) then you do the thing you planned to do (takes more time) and you have to travel home (more time and activity) then you have completed something you set out to do (an achievement/free endorphins).

i also took up running when she left (tire myself the fuck out) and that changed so much for me. with grief, rumination and sleeplessness plagued me; running took both those out of the equation. so my sleep improved, i got stronger and my cardiovascular fitness improved, i ate better, i got to see myself improve and achieve goals, got to build an identity separate from who i was in my marriage. so i cannot recommend running enough.

and as for identity, finding out “who you are”—identity is a trap. don’t cement yourself to any one thing because everything changes. don’t define yourself by externalities, just be open and curious about your inner life, your qualities (which are also able to change btw) and start to strengthen the ones you like, like training a muscle. i practice (literally practice) kindness and discipline, which are important qualities for how i see myself. i also practice at compassion and i like how these things make me feel and how i show up in the world when i’m practicing at them. what qualities will you train in yourself?

you’re not defined in relation to your sibling, btw, and they aren’t defined in relation to you. you can question transness while still loving them.

you’re gonna be just fine, anon. you have plenty of time. grieve the future you can’t have, even though it’s truly for the best, and cultivate a person in yourself you’re excited to be. good luck.

#detrans #detransition #radfem #radical feminism #transgender #gender critical #ftm #asked #answered #anonymous #anon

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surviving---not---living · 3 years ago

Text

What the fuck do I do?...

**tw emotional/physical abuse mentions**

posted this on reddit with different ages and such so he wont find it but he doesnt use tumblr so I wanted to post here to see if yall had some suggestions as well any help would be greatly appreciated or to just know someone read would also be enough... with that said I'll paste the post.

to start I'm 23f and the fiance is 38m

I have an idea of what i should do i just sincerely dont want to i dont want to leave him homeless and without money or a job...

but the last few months have me scared and confused...

(during arguments he let's me write down what's happening when I hear something that stands out to me in Hope's itll help me fix my behaviour i got from my parents so ive been able to write down exact wording on some things said) theres just so much going on...

to preface this hes never been physically abusive to me and thankfully it's not there yet. in his defense though i was raised very incorrectly due to shit parents and I have a lot of mental issues that cause self sabotage, delusional thinking- meaning If I personally believe something it usually takes a small war to get my mind to recognize im actually wrong, as well as terrible memory so if I do acknowledge I've done something wrong more often than not my head forgets what happened or what i even did wrong if anything and the next time it inevitably happens again I have no information to pull from to tell me what I did was wrong or why. so basically I'm kind of a fuck up, I'm doing my best to fix my shit but yeah my fiance has been dealing with all of that for 4 years now.

(*some minorly important issues

•he's been interrupting me not letting me finish what I'm saying and just outright changing the topic since we first got together, although wrong of me I started doing that as well because i saw no other way to be able to speak to him except even when I'm doing the exact same shit hes doing it seems like hes the only allowed to be upset.

•we were in an open relationship except he didnt follow the rules we agreed to one time and that broke my trust I had for him. we said no coworkers, we said only people we were both interested in we said no one that's taken and yet all of those got broken over an ugly bitch. and I still get shit for bringing it up to this day.

•he said that until I start prefacing all of my conversations with him he wont count any attempt I've made at talking to him about my problems. so basically everything I've tried talking to him about doesnt fucking matter and it doesnt fucking count. not even when I tried telling him 3 separate times I'm feeling suicidal to top it off everytime i mentioned it, it ended in an argument.

•he told me he got suicidal thoughts for the first time in 10 years due to me and honestly I didnt know how to fucking respond to that. it made me sad yeah but where was the care I needed when I brought up the same thing? where was his give a fuck hes supposed to show if he actually cares about me??

•he says he interrupts me because what I have to say is either false, not grounded in reality, or they're excuses. except he has little to no way of knowing any of that is true unless he hears me all the way out I could be agreeing with him and he still interrupts and gets pissed.

•I believe hes a hypocrite but he says nah hes only doing this because I'm doing bad.

•hes said multiple times that i wont see any improvement in him until he sees I've got my shit together. even though hes the one that caused the first problems in this relationship I'm supposed to be the first one to fix my shit? instead of both of us working on our shit together??? and when I ask those questions he responds with yes you are supposed to be the first one to fix your shit because I'm at the end of my rope and I wont take this anymore.)

but on to why I've been scared. this person told me he used to be abusive with an equally abusive ex for many reasons and after splitting up he vowed to never do that again and never end up like they did.

fast forward to our relationship and well a few months ago he told me he wanted to hit me and made it a point to say he wasnt going to but he really wanted to.

he said that because we were both in my car and he wanted to leave with the car except I wasnt going to get out of MY car so he started yelling, i got scared and left later on he told me that was the first time hes ever wanted to hit me and I should think about what it is I did to get him to that point. after that I left it alone for a month because things got a bit better and then came the next time he said he wanted to hit me. now I dont remember the reason for him saying it the second time but I wasnt going to let that slip as easily as the first so I spoke up about it and what he had to say about me telling him it made me scared of him to know he wanted to hit me was " well if you Weren't a coward, normally when someone says they want to hit you it's a signal that you're doing something so wrong that they want to hit you." and me knowing him i knew this was one of those times he just wasnt going to budge.

so on to the next argument.

he told me I'm the one who thrust those thoughts into him, that I'm the reason they ever came to be, I'm why the exist in the first place. and he doesnt seem to understand when I say that no I'm not the reason your head wants to hurt me they exist there because of your last relationship letting that be an option. he also said he keeps the option of abuse in his head with a line in front of it to remind him to never pass that line and he doesn't understand that keeping that idea in his head at all is not a good thing because now the option is available whether you want to take it or not and

he. just. kept. arguing. and defending.

now on to the last argument.

he says he wants me to stop putting him in a position to do all the thinking and decision making for me, when I've asked him multiple times to stop doing that because I want to do shit for myself and all he keeps saying is show me that you can actually think for yourself and I'll stop needing to do that. like motherfucker at least give me the time to make decisions or thoughts.

I know it's not his fault that I take longer to process things but he knows this fact and keeps expecting me to already have a response half a second later to something I'm barely registering 5 seconds after it happened and again yes I know its something I have to work on and I am but atm it's still an existing issue.

hes trying to call thinking for me and making decisions for me "a gift" (the exact context for him saying this wasnt written down as I was too upset at the audacity of that claim.)

he wants me to show overwhelming efforts to fix my fucked behavioral issues but the efforts I'm putting in atm dont matter to him and that hes hanging on a single thread hes no longer willing to take anything but Absolute compliance(yes he used the actual words absolute compliance) if he doesnt see me losing sleep to figure out and fix my shit he wont be convinced I'm trying. he ended that segment with him saying hes not using these words to control or manipulate me. he says this is a requirement a yes or no and he wont make his decision on whether he wants to break up with me until I say yes or no to his absolute compliance. he said his decision is solely based on my answer and If i say yes i dont get to back off or get out of it.

I also wrote down a quote he said that was just so arrogant i couldnt leave it out.

"You sit before an artisan of problem solving." -my fiance

soo haha yeahh the last argument happened right before going to bed and I started typing this as soon as I got up and finished my hygiene stuff.

I'm pretty sure if he had never told me he'd wanted to hit me this wouldn't be such a difficult thing to answer... I love him and I have no idea if I should pick him and risk any form of my safety or just let him leave me.. he has no job, no money, and no family to go to.. I know he doesnt care about being homeless but I do care..I fucking love him and I dont want that for him not even for a day... as shitty as he and I can both be I still dont believe that's what he deserves... if he ever finds this hell be even more pissed that I'm even concerned about what he'll do if he leaves.. he always told me to not care and that if I ever do want to leave him to not worry about that and just get it over with sooner.. thing is I dont want to leave I just want my baby back... the one that didnt yell or didnt want to hit me at all... I want our old relationship back.. I guess I want to know if that's even possible at this point. any words from anyone would be really nice right now.. if only to just feel like someone's talking to me.. my fiance is literally the only person I talk to and the closest thing to a friend I have. and i dont tell my parents any of what's happening because they're stressed enough so I've been basically alone for 4 years with no one but my fiance to talk to..

granted it's my fault I havent made other friends but I've been so stressed recently that I havent done much about it for many reasons..

update: he just finished telling me that hes only had half a burger in the last 3 days, (due to stress) he just wanted to let me know that apparently.

#abusive relationship #tw abuse #mine #relationship #please help me #help #relationship advice #fiancé #couple problems #manipulative #maybe #physical abuse #lost #scared #lonely #what do i do

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zmayadw · 4 years ago

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Evening to all :)

Allright, so after two days of terrible headache, one sleepless night, lots and lots of coffee, and constant tweeks of what I already had written, its time to continue with the story. Lets have some fun at the Aurora :)

Wish you all a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 8

We left the restauran and drove to Aurora. It was saturday night, but the bar wasnt that much filled with people yet. The Aurora was like most of the bars : booths wer on each side, tables towards the middle, but still leaving enough room for people to dance. The bar was on the opposite from the entrance with barstools arround it, a smaller stage and karaoke machine on the left, basement/storage entrance on the right, with big TV above it. Since Jessy's brother Phil was the owner of Aurora, we had a booth waitng for us. We settled at our booth, and i got up to get us drinks, since they refused to let me chip in for the dinner. Dan decided its still too early for whiskey, but emphasised that at some point in the evening we're having it. Jessy just groaned at that, and i chuckled going to the bar ordering us beers. As i was waitig, a guy appeared behind the bar „Put this on the house, Dave. Cant let her pay for her first drink here.“ As i turned ,he winked at me, setteling down a box with bottles on the counter. „Hello, Phil.“ I smiled at him „And thansk for the drinks.“ He extended his hand towards me, and i did the same. He took it, moved it towards his lips, giving me one of those cavalier kiss on it „Hello, Maya, nice to finaly meet you.“ I felt a little heat coming to my cheeks. Phil really was a charmer, as i was told, especially from Jessy, but i must admit he wasnt bad looking. He had a long brown hair, mostly worn in a tail. His eyes wer dark brown, and he was tall and muscaline. He was wearing a white shirt with the Aurora written on it, wich just made his tattoos more noticable. I was a sucker for tattoos. „Do all girls get such a charming 'hello' from you here?“ i asked teasingly. He grinned devilishly „Just the special ones.“ „I got warned about you, trying to sweet talk me.“ I grinned back. „Can you blame me? I'm a sucker for a beautifull woman.“ I felt even more heat coming to my cheeks, and was greatfull the light wernt that bright, so noone would notice, especialy Phil. It felt good, being flirted like this, but i didnt want to give Phil any wrong ideas. I knew from Jessy that he was interested in me, and to be honest, if Jake was out of the picture, it might be different. „Thanks for the compliment! But, i have to warn you, i might not be a good choice.“ I said, making a serious face, leaning a bit closer towards him over the bar, wich made him do the same. „I was told i was reckles and out of control, kinda hard to handle, stressing people too much.“ He looked at me, that devilish spark in his eyes intensifieing „Well, Maya, maybe you just havent met your match..yet.“ „Maybe.“ I replied, leaning back, smile forming at the corner of my mouth. We just stared at eachother like that for a while, Phils gaze intensifing with each moment. I felt my heart starting to beat faster, and i was really confused about it. What was happening here? Ok, Phil was good looking, but Jake was the one i was longing for. Wasnt he? „Well, as much as i'm enjoying talking to you, i better get those beers over to my friends.“ He glanced towards our booth „You just might need some more beer.“ I turned to see what was it that he refered to, and saw the whole gang showed up while we wer talking. Including Jake. I was glad to see him, i didnt really think this was a place he would feel comfortable being at, but i supposed Hannah made him come. I heard from Jessy they wer spending much time together, the three of them, wich wasnt to be unexpected. He was their halfbrother after all, they wanted to get to know eacother better. And Hannah made him stay at her appartment since he came to Duskwood. And then i noticed Jake staring, but it wasnt me he was staring at, but Phil. Oh boy, i tought, can my life be simple for just one evening. I turned to Phil, sighing „I guess your right.“ I took the beers, slowely moving from the bar, walking backwards. „Oh, and i have a feeling i might need something stronger soon, so keep a glass close for me.“ I said skeptical, but Phil just grined and winked „I'll be right here with that glass ready.“

As i neared the booth, putting on my best smile, they all stood up cheering. I settled the beers on the table, Hannah embracing me in a tight hug, with Thomas grining behind her. „Its so good to finaly do this.“ She said. „Its good to see you , Hannah.“ I said, hugging her back. Hannah let go of me, and now it was Cleo's turn. „Dont you scare us like that anymore, you hear me!“ she scolded me before smiling „I promise.“ She let go of me, and they all sat back. I grabbe myself a chair from the table near us, since the booth was full now. As i sat down, i glanced at Jake. He smiled and nooded at me, and i smiled back. Lily was just siting there, barely sparing me a look. I tried not to take it too personal, from the begining she wasnt that much fond of me, and the feeling is mutual. „So, how are you feeling?“ Hannah asked me. „Oh, im much better, thanks for asking. Few more days and i'll be back to my old self.“ I told her, as a waiter, Dave , came to our booth, bringing five more beers. I turned towards the bar. Phil just winked at me, and continued about his business. I noticed Jake saw that also, his body tensing a bit. „Thats good to hear.“ Hannah siad, and Dan chimed in „I'll drink to that!“ raising his glass towards me. I got my glass and added cheerfuly to him „Me too!“ Now Lily finaly spoke „Good thing it ended as it did, we could all be drinking our sorrow instead.“ I tensed at her words, a bit of rage forming in me, but Hannah jumped in before i could say anything. „Lily, stop it. We are all aware of how things might ended, no need to emphasising it anymore.“ She sounded tired saying it, i got a feeling this wasnt the first time the two of them had a similar conversation. „Im sorry, Hannah“ Lily continued „but you know how i feel. Maya's actions could have terrible consequencess, and i dont see what is there to celebrate.“ „How about me being here, Lily? Is that good enough reason for you?“ Hannah asked, but Lily just sat there silently. I couldnt be quiet anymore. „Im sorry you feel that way Lily.“ I started. „I expected you to be more happy now that Hannah is back. Yes, i made some mistakes, i know. But we all do mistakes, Lily, you should know it all too well.“ She shot me such a angry look when i said it. It wasnt my intention to start a fight with her or anything, i knew all too well how badly all of it could have ended, but i was also tired of it being dragged out constantly. „My sister could have died!“ Lily basicly screamed, wich made few people arround us turn to see what was happening. „Lily, enough!“ Hannah started, but i really had enough, and my head started to hurt a bit now. „Your sister could have died eitherway, Lily“ i said basicly hissing at her „No matter what i might have or might have not done. At least i had the guts to act, and would do the same all over again if i had to, gladly. Luckily, things turned out for the better. You should be happy about it, and stop dwelling on the 'what if's'. If you cant do that, to just be happy you got your sister back, then for fuck sake i dont know what more to say to you.“ As i finished, you could feel the tension gathering around. „Sorry all, but i need something stronger to drink.“ I stood up going for the bar.

Phil came as i sat on one of the stools, rasing his eyebrow „My, my, you wernt wrong about needing that drink. So, whats your poison?“ he asked me grining. „Oh, whatever you grab first, as long as it washes the bitternes out.“ I said, feeling that rage not setteling, and my head throbing some more. He grabbed two shot glasses, pouring both with whiskey. „Dont mind if i join you.“ He said, rising one of the glasses. I grinned, taking my glass knocking it at his „Its no fun drinking alone, anyway!“ „Bottoms up!“ he chimed, and we exed our gasses. „One more, please, the bitter taste is still not washed completly.“ „Comming right up!“ he said cheerfuly, filled both again, and we drank those too. Someone patted me on my shoulder, and i turned to see Dan standing next to me. „Aww, Maya, you started without me.“ He said, being dramatic and acting hurt. „Aww, sorry Dan“ i said making a sad face „You cant really blame me, after all that just happened back there.“ „Point taken“ he said, sitting next to me. I turned towards the booth. Jessy, Cleo, Thomas and Hannah wer still there. I could see they didnt seem much affected by any of what just happened. But Lily was gone. And so was Jake. Great, i tought. The night began so nicely, i guess it was too good to last. „Well, Dan, feel free to join us now. The more, the merrier.“ I turned to Phil. „Barkeep, antoher glass for my 'nonjudgemental' friend here, please.“ Phil grinned, taking one more glass and filling them all again „The lady commands, the lady gets!“ Now the three of us chinned our glasses, and drank up. „Phil, i think you and I will be very good friends.“ I started „Since i assume you are not theirs most likable person of all time.“ i waved my hand towards the booth. „And i suppose as of now, i might join that club, too.“ Phil looked at me, a bit sirious „I told you once before, Maya. Everyone gets the exactly right ammount of respect from me as deserved. I dont bother with the tought if im 'likable' to someone or not. You dont mess with me, and i dont mess with you, its simple as that.“ „Amen to that!“ It was Dan, and both Phil and me looked at him, not really expecting it. I started laughing so hard „Oh, Dan, thanks, i needed this.“ „What?“ Dan looked at me, question marks written all over his face. Phil just shook his head, lowering it down, hiding himself smiling too, filling our glasses again, and drinking his up. „If you two would excuse me, i actually have some work to do.“ He winked at me as he left. „Be careful Maya, Phil is a player.“ Dan told me a bit serious. „Dont worry, Dan, i'm a big girl, i can take care of myself. So, tell me, how much am i hated at the moment amongst the others?“ i asked him. „Dont worry, Maya, nobody hates you, trust me. But you gotta understand Lily. She really was scared for Hannah, and she tought she was doing her best.“ He paused for a while before adding „Just like you did.“ I looked at Dan, and tought 'shit, he has a point there'. „Ah, crap, Dan, why you have to be so 'smartypants' all of a sudden?!“ He chuckled at me „Look, both of you did what you did, and it ended how it did. Even if you dont see it, you both expected the same result. Just your ways of trying to acomplish it wer totaly different. And thats where all hell broke loose.“ I knew Dan was right, but i tought Lily would be at least a bit happier for having Hannah back, and not to be all bitchy about it, clinging so tightly on all the things that could go wrong. „All right, enough with this serious talk. I tought we came here to drink.“ I started, but added quickly so Dan dont feel me being ungrateful „But, thanks Dan. I understand what you wanted to say to me. I will keep it in mind, for the next time.“ Dan smiled and noded at me. I took a sip of my whiskey, when there was another tap on my shoulder. It was Hannah „Hey, just wanted to say we're leaving. It was really nice seeing you, we should definatly do this again.“ She said, adding „When things cool down a bit.“ She gave me an appologetic look, „Yeah, definatly! And it was really nice seeing you two, Hannah.“ She hugged me „And dont take Lily by the heart, please. I know she can overreact sometimes, but she means well.“ „Dont worry, Hannah, i understand, its all good. Hope i wasnt too forward myself.“ Now i looked at her appologeticly. „Everything is good.“ She smiled „Take care, Maya, see you later.“ „Laters you two.“ I waved at Hannah and Thomas as they left. Cleao and Jessy joined us at the bar. „Uhh, that was fun.“ Cleo said. „Indeed. Not really my definition of a 'fun night' i expected.“ „Dont worry, Maya. Lily is just a hard person sometimes, a bit overprotective, too. She will calm down, eventualy.“ Cleo told me, to wich I replied a bit skeptical „ So everyone tells me.“ Phil came to us, taking two new glasses „C'mon you sad lot, enough with it. I tought we wer celebrating a 'new girl in town'!“ he said cheerfuly, winking at me, filling all the glasses up, handing one for Jessy and Cleo. Jessy groaned at it, scolding Phil „Ohh, dont encourage this two, Phil“ she said, pointing at Dan and me „I'm the one who will have to endure them for the rest of our evening, with all that whiskey in them. And we all know Dan and whiskey doesnt end well.“ „Hey babe, dont be like that!“ Dan said to her, in that dramatical and hurt way he does, making Cleo and me laugh. „See, it already started.“ Jessy said, leaning her elbovs on the bar, sighing sadly, now she trying to be dramatic. „Awwww babe, i promise i'll behave.“ Dan said, pecking her on the cheek. „You better behave..remember, im the one you're going home with.“ She told him, giving him one of her serious looks. Phil was just taking a sip of his drink, and hearing Jessy say it laughed so hard that he spat his drink out. Cleo and me laughed with him, but Dan looked at Jessy all pale„Yes, ma'am!“. I took my glass, raising it „Last one? Then we get beer again.“ Jessy looked at me „Deal!“, the rest of them taking their glasses and we drank. „That's it for me“ Cleo said „I'll be going now. Have to be early at the Gates of Hope tomorrow. And you all know how my mother can be if its not her way.“ She said shuddering a bit at it. „Ohh, we dont want to get Miranda cross at you, or any of us.“ Jessy said, giving Cleo a look of symphaty. Cleo hugged me „It was nice seeing you, Maya. We should definatly do this again, soon. And i promise i wont leave so early next time.“ „No worrys, Cleo, thanks for coming anyway.“ I said, smiling back at her. She waved us goodby and left. We ordered some beer then, as i promised Jessy no more whiskey. „Sorry, Maya, i really didnt think this will go so badly.“ Jessy looked at me appologeticaly. „Oh, dont sweat it, Jessy“ i grinned at her „Im having more fun with just the two of you, anyway.“ She grinned back, when Phil looked at me, making a sad face, mimicing Dan's hurt gesture „Awww, and what about me, i dont belong in this 'fun club'?“ I looked at him and winked „We have our special 'secret club', remember?“ That made Jessy switch her look from Phil too me, all puzzled, but Phil just grined devilishly at me, winking „We sure do.“ Jessy turned to Phil now, making a serious face, waving her finger at him „Phil, you better behave! Maya is not a 'toy' to play with and throw away after it.“ I jumped in, before Phil could say anything „Oh, dont worry, Jessy. Phil was nothing but a gentelmen towards me.“ Phil grined at her, makeing an aureola sign above his head with his hands, sugesting him being an angel. Jessy just snorted „Yeah, yeah, more like a 'devil in disguise'.“ „Im not sure who's the 'devil in disguise' here actualy.“ Phil said looking at me intensely, my cheeks flushing again.

#duskwood #duskwood aurora #duskwood phil #duskwood jessy #duskwood dan #duskwood fanfic

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spidermanifested · 4 years ago

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remember when i said in my post about how bido is unappreciated that id talk about why greed/bido is a good and important ship but thats a whole other post. well This is that post

the first and most important reason that greed/bido is a good ship is very simple and that reason is Bido Was In Love With Greed The Whole Time And Nobody Noticed?????? how come nobody noticed. i mean SOME people noticed but nowhere NEAR enough people noticed

when greed compliments bido for successfully proving that alphonse is just a soul bound to a suit of armor, he blushes and acts very flustered and happy. unfortunately this scene is not animated in either show (bido talking to greed is changed to be over the phone in 03, and in brotherhood the scene just gets skipped, HOWEVER theres a single shot of bidos face in one of greeds flashbacks that shows him blushing and looking directly at the camera. ie at greed)

also in the manga his first thought when the military shut down the nest was to worry about whether greed SPECIFICALLY was okay (i used this page in my other post as well but its important)

and in brotherhood he was shown to have actually followed greed through the sewers during his fight with bradley but could only watch from his hiding place as greed was defeated and taken away; remembering this is what gives him the determination to hitch a ride to central to look for him

did i mention he went all the way to central to find him!!! clinging to a MILITARY TRUCK no less. as a very obvious chimera if he had been found by any of those soldiers it would have been horrible for him and every other time we ever saw bido faced with danger he ran away from it. but he was brave For Greed. he went into the labyrinth under central For Greed, and didnt try to escape until he was convinced greed wasnt there. and when it turned out he WAS there (and had lost his memory and had been trying to kill him) he immediately dropped his guard and walked closer to him because that was greed and he trusted him despite everything that had just happened. in the manga he grabs onto greeds coat as he dies and it is just about the saddest thing ive ever seen in my whole life

and then of course greed starts physically shaking because what he just did was so awful his body knows he fucked up before his mind even remembers Why it was fucked up and he cradles bidos body in his arms and screams. unfortunately if we are to acknowledge bido as the gay icon he was, we also must acknowledge that he was buried

(by all rights bido SHOULD have survived. where is the fanfiction where he survives fullmetal alchemist fandom or are you too busy writing the same royai-gets-married-and-has-babies fic over and over again. actually never mind i greatly prefer that to all the pedophilia. but thats another Other post, that unlike this incredibly niche topic some other people have almost definitely made before me)

the thing about grido is you could make a huge tragic thing about it being unrequited and frankly thats Fair, greed does not seem one to settle down in a relationship and bido likely has a lot of self worth issues that would prevent him from confessing his feelings. but you cannot deny that greed cared about him. he praises him, he pats him on the head (!!)

he COMPLETELY breaks down after he realizes he killed him. bido was so important to greed, as were the rest of the chimeras of course but i think theres a valid argument to be made that bido in particular was special to him. theyve got a few things in common actually that i find interesting:

both like to just chill on roofs??? when greed is in lings body he sometimes just hangs out on top of a roof. bido does this too

they could have hung out on roofs together.......maybe thats why greed likes to be up there. because he hung out with bido on roofs a lot. please consider this possibility

both of them are accidentally rude to children. the same children in fact

greed is like 200 and looks 30 while bido is middle-aged and people think he is a baby for some reason?????

okay this is just straight up a headcanon and has no actual basis in the text or subtext of fma but I Think Bido Is Trans and was cast out by his family in his youth and greed would understand that experience!!!! having left his own terrible family because they wanted him to be someone he wasnt

and then there are the differences:

greed is very outgoing and bido is mostly pretty anxious, though he has outbursts of confidence; that might be because greed being nice to him has built up his self-esteem (the way he calls himself cool/awesome when he escapes from the elrics, directly followed by greed complimenting his skills, really makes me think this is the case)

one is tall and lean........the other...is short and fat....... i know its cliche but let me have this

bido overthinks things. greed is a jock. with their powers combined they can do things at a mostly reasonable pace (as long as bido doesnt just go along with whatever greed wants which is probably most of the time what happens)

bido is outwardly inhuman and weird-looking but is incredibly caring and hard-working and loyal and sweet. greed is the sexiest motherfucker alive but hes literally the personification of a deadly sin and at his core he is technically just a rock made of pain. but below these layers both of them want the exact same thing which is to care about others and be cared for in return

also you know that post about how ships between immortal people and super young adults (or worse, teenagers) are OUT and instead we should have stories about immortal people dating 40-something accountants. bido is the 40-something accountant. except not an accountant. you know what im getting at though hes an Established Adult

and bido DESERVES it, he deserves to be loved by the person he cares about more than anything, he has been through so much and gotten nothing but pain and he needs something good for a change!!! and greed DESERVES someone who will love him with all his heart and make him feel wanted no matter what. just, listen to me okay, they would make each other so happy

so!!! there are MANY reasons this ship is interesting and a million different ways you could go about exploring it and there is just NONE of it out there. for some reason the chimera that gets shipped the most with greed is dolcetto (though ive seen martel as well) and i think that is probably because they are more attractive to people (and also id wager more than a few dollars people simply see a dogman and his boss and go wild for the petplay angle). like you dont see any greed/roa either and thats very telling since roa appears with the other two almost every time and nothing about him is different except hes older and not as. pretty i guess???? in my humble onion hes hotter than either dolcetto or martel but thats neither here nor there

the important thing about bidos relationship to greed is that he might not have been transmuted with an animal with a strong sense of loyalty, but he didnt NEED to be, to be loyal to greed. he loved him entirely because he was human. and in the end he did the most for him out of any of the chimeras. unfortunately it was via dying but through the power of imagination we can collectively ignore that and pretend both he and greed survived, and greed went back to his original sexy, sexy body, and they made out on a roof for several consecutive hours. thats how im coping at least. thank you so much for listening to my unhinged rambling about lizard man who dies of fullmetal alchemist (gay edition)

#fullmetal alchemist (fullmetal alchemist)#bido #fma greed #grido

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sucker-for-minyard · 4 years ago

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When i say that "All For The Game" is important to me and helped me undestand my personal limits, i mean it.

[Tw: harassment]

When i was 10, i started to study in a school called "CEN". There, i made incredible friends, but also not so great ones.

From my first year there (10yo) to my last year there (13yo), i was basically in a school were the people, specially the older ones, had NO CONCEPT of CONSENT AND PERSONAL SPACE.

I lost the count of how many times teenagers would lift my skirt or my shirt, take off my bra, touch my breasts or kiss me without warning.

I was 10!!!! Starting to learn about my body, entering puberty, and i had the worst example possible.

Eventually, i just thought it was normal. It was ok for a friend, who was 16, to grope me, 11, when we passed through each other in the corridor.

It was ok for me to have these older guys hitting on me and talking openly about sexual stuff.

it was ok for people that i DIDN'T EVEN KNOW to touch my body. to kiss me.

it was ok for a friend to grope me and disrespect my body, because that's what people do when they like you. right? right?

i had no idea how much i was disrespecting myself, and how everything that happened would impact my relationship with others in the future.

Fast foward to when i was 14, and moved to another school for X reasons.

I legitimately thought that everyone hated me. I cried to my parents bc i thought that no one wanted to be friends with me.

Guess why.

Because in months there, no one touched me in a weird way. No one disrespected my body. No one forced themselves into my personal space.

I was devastated, and was always on edge, thinking that my friends would go away in any second.

At the same time, i met a guy that I'll call "Adam" bc i don't need his name here. He was the boyfriend of one of my friends from CEN. And we became friends really quickly.

We would call each other for HOURS. He was two years older.

And one day, he started to flirt with me.

I had NO EXPERIENCE dating. I never had someone that i was in love with, and the thought of someone older and pretty and interesting would like ME was just too much. I fell head over heels for him. Not in love. Just, emotionally attached.

He kept flirting, initially nothing much, but then he started to talk about sexual things. Things that he wanted me to do to him and with him. What he wanted to do with me.

And one day, he just called me while jerking off.

I was terrified. I didn't knew how to tell him to 'stop'. That i didn't liked that kind of friendship. Because i didn't want to lose him.

So i just kept letting it happen. Until he decided to grope me in front of his girlfriend and i just had too much.

I went home and cried for hours with my mom on the phone. You know what she said? That it was my fault, since i gave him so much liberty.

That sentence really stayed with me.

And then the year was ending, and i was waiting for my friends from school to finally walk away and stop talking to me.

But they didn't. I did.

And the next year, when i was 15, i was in a new school.

I spent one year there with no problems. Didn't really bond with anyone but was starting to make some friends. It was nice, even tho i was basically being bullied by my classmates. I could ignore it and so i did.

Fast foward to Last year, 2019. now i had 16. Most of my year passed normaly. I never liked studying but i did the minimum to not fail.

And then, in September, i met someone in a party. I'll call him "Dave" because i don't want to put his real name in my blog.

Dave was clearly a 'rebel without a cause'. He smoked and drank without caring about his health. He was cool and everyone wanted to hang out with him. He painted his nails and played the guitar.

And for some reason, he wanted to hook up with me. Not date.

And i fell for it. I kissed him once and was already in heaven. How the fuck someone so cool wanted ME? I had no idea but i was loving it.

Soon we became best friends, we hanged out literally everyday and shit.

And then we became "friends with benefits" lmao. I was in love with him, and he couldn't choose between me and another person (that i won't say the name. today he is one of my best friends).

All of my close friends at the time warned me about Dave. How he treated me badly, how rude he was with me, how he was using me. But i thought that i was in love and ignored everything.

And two months passed like that. I slept in his house 3 times a week. I spent all weekends with him, i drank too much and i started smoking like an idiot.

And one day, after a huge fight me and Dave had, my dad said that my family was going to move to another state.

I called Dave immediately, and went to his house.

Only then we started dating. Because i was going away in two months, suddenly he was ok with dating me.

Adam was terrible and i was so unhappy.

Before we started dating, and even after that, i never had the right to say "no".

It was never about me. What i wanted. What i could give. What i was able to give.

I would come to his house, drunk, and he would ignore that i could not truly give consent and make me do whatever he wanted me to do.

I never felt loved.

My body was not mine. I had no right to control my own body.

I was with someone that would not accept a "no". I was with someone that would threaten to kill himself if i hurted him. I was with someone that said that he would kil me, and beat me, if i didn't do as he told.

He hit me once. And even after that, i didn't break up with him. And as always, he never, NEVER, apologized.

I was, again, in a relationship that taught me nothing about consent, respect and limitations. And it was destroying me without me noticing it.

But two months later, the day came and o moved. Even so the abuse didn't stop there.

He kept emotionally manipulating me, making me feel guilty for not being there. He said that i wasnt the person that he thought that i would be. That i never helped him and never made him happy. He said that i didn't truly love him.

Eventually, we parted ways. He stoped sending me messages and i stopped trying to be there.

I felt empty, and loveless, and it was like i had failed. I felt like i wasn't enough. I failed because i wasn't able to give enough of myself to him.

And now, a couple of months ago.

Someone on twitter mentioned AFTG and i didn't have anything better to do.

I fell in love with the book. I did. But there were so many triggers and had to take it slow.

I KNOW it sounds like I'm reading too deep into it, but please understand.

When i saw the way that Andrew and Neil interacted, as two different individuals, with different needs and different limitations, i was devastated.

I could not handle seeing how respectful and caring they were about each others triggers and traumas.

How Neil respected every single "no".

And how Andrew was able to say "no" without caring about what Neil would feel.

Because, when you say "no", it's for you, you're respecting yourself. And if your special someone can't undestand and respect that, they're not worth it.

I didn't understand that. To be honest, I'm still having a hard time to think about everything that happened to me like it was "harassment" or "assault".

I didn't say yes, but i also didn't say no

And, again, I'm sorry if it seems like I'm reading too deep into it.

Andrew and Neil have this "yes or no" think that left me speechless.

How can someone just respect you so much that they won't touch you unless you give clear permission?

I cried too much, and had enough panic attacks while i was reading the books. There were too many triggers but i kept going because i felt like i needed to.

I never had thought that, when you're drunk, you can't give consent. I never worried about that because no one worried about me when i was drunk. No one asked me anything.

The idea of having someone that will understand if you don't want to be touched, somone that will stay there and wait inutil you're okay, someone that loves you enough to respect if you're not ok... it was too much. Really.

Suddenly all of my relationship with my ex was passing in front of my eyes and i finally saw how abusive it was. How much he didn't care. How i trusted someone that couldn't give a shit about what i was feeling.

It's not that i didn't knew it was abusive. But seeing a relationship so opposite, like Andreil, was a chock.

"All For The Game" brought up things that usually are ignored.

Even if the trilogy is not focused on Andreil, the amount of importance that it puts in "consenting", is amazing.

I started to think about me and my body and how i was treating myself.

And how much i wanted someone that will respect me and love me and take care of me.

It sound dumb but I'm truly grateful. All For The Game is just fiction. But it talks about serious matters with a respectful and realistic approach.

It's "just a book" but it showed me a kind of relationship that i never saw. It affected me.

This is a huge vent because i had a panick attack during my therapy session and i needed to write it.

#all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg #vent #i really love aftg #girls guys and pals stay safe #take care of yourself #respect your body #the raven king #tfc #andreil

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nervousomegaorb · 4 years ago

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Tea time! A!Tamaki Amajiki x Fem! Smoll! O! Reader

Warning: None! Except for my cringy writing tell me if I do anything wrong! And alot of fluff!

Ship: fem! O reader x A Tamaki amajik

Summary: Y/N was at a cafe studying for an exam when bully's from your past came in and was plumbiting your self esteem (witch wasn't really high in the first place) you ran towards the closest building and end up in another cafe, yes but what kind?

Readers quirk: element. Its exactly what it sounds like, reader can control any of the elements but she has to focus really hard in order for it to work or if she gets to emotional she loses control of it and things don't really work out

Sorry if the summary was long! Oh gosh I'm already scewing things up! Okay on to the fanfic this was inspired heavily by @makethiscanon she is an awesome writer and I hope I can get to her level, she also has an amazing fluffy channel that if consent granted I will name the channel!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You really weren't planning to go anywhere for the day, you were studying for Mr. Yamada's (Present mic's) class in your dorm when you decided to go to A cafe about an hour from you, ya the walk was long but they also just so happened to have to best bubble tea besides, your omega really wanted a sweet treat about now, you put on some make-up, brushed your hair, and grabbed your school bag before you went on your way (A little fresh air and some bubble tea couldn't hurt, right? Wrong.) you had just settled at a table inside, it was starting to drizzle as you opened the door to the cafe.

Before placing your order you started typing on your computer occasionally glancing at your notes for the class. You had just gotten up to order when all the sudden you smelt the hauntingly familiar cluster of scents Moss, The ocean, and polished wood and leather (witch you could smell was trying to be covered up with channel.....#4?) entered the cafe and before you could properly react your usual scent of citrus and roses, had already become quite burnt and the familiar faces all stared at you, all to familiar with your scared scent.

"Y/N! I didn't think I'd see much of you after grade school!"

If the scent didn't confirm your suspicion of who the person was there looks sure did. Mienu. The female of the group of three had long red hair with white eyes she was wearing a black tank top with a picture of the pro Hawks on it, blue ripped jeans, and black convers. Shiro, the black haired Alpha had yellow eyes he was wearing a black hoodie and jeans with some white tennis shoes, and finally Shitto. he had white hair, the Whites of his eyes Black with the pupils being white, he was wearing a black sweater that in bold white words read "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you" (Charming) and some sweapants with black tennis shoes. They were your bully from grade school.

"Awe Y/N why the silence?" The voice you had identified as Mienu asked as the group of three alpha's had welcomed themselves to sit at your table.

Recalling past memories of tourter they put you through during early life you didn't have to be with them for even a second more

"Can you please exit my table?"

You tried to speak in the most confident voice you could muster that ended up sounding more like a whimper.

"Awe you want us to go so soon? We haven't even gotten to get a good look at you!" The black haired alpha snarled.

After stareing you up from head to toe a look of pure disgust played on there features

"Still look like the same whore from 8th grade"

" I am kind of working right now, Mienu"

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't know a job application for a janitor was that serious! I mean no one would have to look at your disgusting face that way." The second white-haired male Alpha had laughed.

"Actually I am in the hero course in UA." You told him coldly as you tapped your textbook to show the obvious U.A logo on it.

They all looked at each other speechless for a moment, the silence was short-lived when the red-haired alpha recovered from the shock.

"Oh, your poor classmates they must be so ashamed that at such a high class, prestigious school they would have to look at walking trash all-day." That one sunk in.

You were already questioning how you of all people got into such a high ranked school, and hearing it from them just broke you a little, I mean they all looked pretty well off....and beautiful. I mean your quirk was powerful but it was tricky to control and unpredictable.

You once got so angry as a child that you caused a mini earth quake, a second time that was just a few months ago, you were hanging out with Asui, hagakure, Mina, shoji, tokoyami, ojiro, and sero in the common room when mineta had decided that, when everyone was in the kitchen preparing snacks for the anime marathon you were all planning on to start hitting on you and got handsy, the next thing you new the metal from the lamp had constricted around the beta's little body (you were praised and treated as a GOD but it still bothered you that you lost control of your quirk Because of a perverted grape)

Your scent only got more burnt moment by moment thinking of how often you lost control.

"You know what I think we've been a little harsh on her let's give her a drink," the final black-haired alpha said looking at his friends.

You saw him grab a coffee from the nearest table and before you could process what he meant you were doused in black coffee, making your omega give a distressed chirp( a little extra part worsening, your omega and pretty much all omegas hated bitter things.)

You felt bad for the civilians at the cafe you could see they wanted to help but that certain cafe is known for there sweets witch drove all the people there to be omegas and betas, (by there scent you could guess the person they stole the coffee from was a beta) neither of witch would be brave enough to stand up to a group of alpha's and you felt terrible yourself, you were supposed to be a hero but you started tearing up at THIS.

You refused to let them see you cry and lose control. you packed up all the things you brought into a bag as quickly as possible and booked it, leaving the three alphas cackling.

You really just wanted to go home to get in your nest but you had already walked an hour, you were not willing to walk all the way back to U.A in the rain, the next bus wasnt going to be here for a solid half hour, your phone was dead so you couldnt call anyone to pick you up, and it was now it was pouring, you needed comfort now.

After about 2 minutes of running aimlessly your blurred, tear stung vision saw a building that had a teapot on the front, you practically threw yourself in the building, collapsing as a bell chiming to announce your entry.

"Are you alright dear?"

You lifted your head a little bit to see a sweet-looking black and gray-haired omega probably in her 40s that smelt of fresh-baked cookies, her kind-blue eyes looked at you with a look if concern, like the look a mom gives her pup if they cry.

She took the tears that stained your complexion as an answer.

"Okay dearie lets get to checked-in"

You didn't really know what you were getting checked in to but none the less you made a quiet nod and followed the women to a desk off in the corner

Once you got a better look the cafe was actually quite nice, white pillars stood inside with vines of ivory on them, the floor was marbled white and gray with a bit of black, the counter was Plain, black hardwood, it was a quaint place that reminded you of a tea shop.

Your scent was getting back to normal.

Now that you were calm again you took in your appearance in the remarkably reflective window of the shop.....you were a mess your H/L hair was soaked by rain and coffee, your eyes were red, your makeup was dripping down your cheeks, and your White coat was coffee stained, and Actually you really didn't notice till now how cold you were with the water from your clothes seeping in your skin you would have used your quirk to get the water off but you felt to emotional to use it safely.

Annnd your scent is back to burnt.

"Name dearie?"

"Oh uhh L/N-F/N

"Okay, now just go upstairs and the first door to the left, we always want our guest to feel at home, so just relax dearie"

"Thank you, ma'am!"

You gave a quick and Curt bow before heading up the stairs.

You went upstairs and followed the instructions the Walls were white with little paintings strewn across it, at the top of the stairs was a hallway with a series of black door's you followed the instructions and went to the first door, the smell of tea and tarts filled your nose and before you could hesitate you opened the door.

Before you could process your surroundings you heard:

"welcome home Princess!"

Oh...shintucky fried chicken...It was one of those cafés. everything was crisp, quaint, and warm. After a quick survey over the room you realised that the servers were all male alpha's that were all illegally attractive, and they all had on tailcoats as they served everything from silver trays.

You looked up at the tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Alpha that smelt of freshly cut grass, who greeted you he was wearing a black tail suit and a white buttoned-up shirt with black slacks and dress shoes.

"Are you dineing with us alone my princess?"

You felt like your heart was beating out of your chest as the handsome man asked, you had to remind yourself to behave, he was only being nice to you as part of his job, nothing more nothing less. You told yourself you were here to avoid the rain and nothing more.

You slowly nodded your head, just wishing you looked more presentable, it seemed like everyone there was staring (cause they were) there crisp, elegant clothing and beautiful features were the main things intimidating you, the cafe held mostly beta's and omegas with a few alpha's scattered around you felt like you were a gold fish in an aquarium with the exotic fishes. Misplaced. Looking amongst all the customers you could see all eyes on you, most of the eyes held discust while others held pitty.

Neither of witch you wanted to see.

"princess?"

The voice of the Alpha brought you back to reality you noticed he now had a menu.

"Follow me to your table!"

You nodded and followed him to the back where there was a booth closed off from the rest of the cafe, witch you were very grateful for so no one else could really look at you rather it was on purpose or not you mentally thanked the alpha.

"I am Mirio Togata, your Butler for today will be here shortly! Don't hesitate to ask if you need anything."

'Mirio Togata....why did that sound so familiar?'

your head was so clouded that you forgot he was part of the Big three, a practical legend at U.A.

Before he left he looked left, then right and whispered "Your Butler is very shy and reserved so please don't mind him, he really is a nice person".

He gave you a Curt bow and then walked away.

You decided to skim over the menu, deciding that you would get a tea, that's all you could afford, when you left home you didn't think to bring anymore money than $4.75 because that was the price of the bubble tea, ethier way that was all you were willing to spend..Even with living in the dorms with your class 1-A they were all territorial about there belongings especially there food (Especially since most of your class were alpha's) occasionally the microwaved ramen noodles was shared and occasionally take out thanks to Momo's wealth but you kinda felt guilty for using the Alpha's wealth. what were you doing here? What in the actual heck were you doing here with all these beautiful, prestine, rich as heck customers? You are a broke college student.

"P-p-princess?"

The small innocent question pulled you away from your thoughts to catch a glimpse of your server, you gulped he was hot. An indigo haired Alpha with eyes to match, honestly before you caught his scent of spices you thought he was an omega like you due to his shaky posture and voice. He was wearing a tail suit that matched Mirio's, his posture shaky and he held a small book to take an order.

"My name is A-Amajiki Tamaki, I'll be your B-Buttler today" he bowed before carrying on

"M-may I get you anything to drink princess? M-mabey something hot?"

"Ah. Um...I...I think I will be leaving."

You turned to get your bag when the Alpha scooted into the seat next to you.

"Are you okay, Omega?" He asked worry laced in his voice and eyes.

"Yes?....No?.....Maybe?.....I don't know I'm a mess right now.." you went on explaining what had happened at the other cafe and how you felt so meaningless amongst your Piers (Leaving out the fact you were a U.A student), he occasionally showed he was listening by nodding his head and....was that a growl you heard?

Tamaki didn't show it but he was P.I.S.S.E.D. 'Didn't there mother's ever show them how to treat an Omega?!? An adorable, tiny, sweet smelling one of all!'

After the deed was done you were crying again and it hit you that you just told your problems to a random adorable Alpha.

He watched as you took your hand up to your face wiping away a stray tear, removing your hand from your face he noticed a black smudge on your hand that he could only assume was make-up.

He suddenly got up from the table and held his hand out to you, you hesitated for a moment but grabbed on, he started walking with you in toe to a door that had the word "Private" printed on a little gold rectangle close to the door that you came in from

By his pace you could guess that whatever he was doing, he wasn't supposed to be.

He opened the door and poked his head in to make sure no one was there and opened it a little bit more, gesturing you inside quickly.

"T-This is where we change i-into butlers.." Tamaki said as he held the door open a little wider for you. The room you could obviously tell was a changing room with wardrobes lining the walls with a few vanities and mirrors scattered on a few of the walls.

"Stay here f-for a sec please"

You could tell he dropped the act, he was still shy and muttering but you could tell he was at least trying to stop it from shining through as a butler. You saw as the Alpha grabbed a white towel from a close by hamper, you didn't see this but he rubbed the towel against his scent glands...just to calm you down..... totally not to make you smell like him....

The purple haired Alpha handed you the towel and watched you dry off your hair, when he turned around to grab something else he heard a quiet voice "Y/N...My name is Y/N L/N.."

The alpha smiled a small bit 'Y/N...what a beautiful name'

"W-wait here Y/N"

You watched the timid alpha leave the area, you waited a few seconds before bringing the towel to your nose inhaling his comforting scent...

'He is such a kind alpha....you should try to court him!' Your omega chirped

"NO! We only just met him"

'Get to know him better. That simple.'

"Wow that simple for sure"

'Exactly!'

"🙄"

While to were arguing with your omega in the other room....

'I think they wouldn't mind having dry clothes....' Tamaki thought to himself, tho he had a feeling they would be to tiny to fit his clothes well, he was tempted to get one of the smaller alpha's clothes that had the night shift but there was always a chance they could get out early and find there clothes gone, so he grabbed his own clothes and 'borrowed' a belt from one of the other alpha's wardrobe, they wouldn't miss a belt to much..

He came back in to the room, clothes freshly scented, seeing the Omega look prideful and irritated, like they just had got into an argument and won.

By the time the argument between you and your omega was over he was back, you had won...for now, and he was carrying a pile of neatly folded clothes.

" u-umm here Omega, your clothes look really wet, and there is n-no way you can warm up in them, t-these are my clothes you don't have to take them if you don't want to but I thought they would be more comfortable..."

You gently grabbed the clothes from the Alpha and thanked him, looking down at the clothes it was a biege sweater with a pair of denim jeans, you could obviously see they were going to be way to big for your tiny body but over sized sweaters where a thing and you were sure you could fit the jeans around your waist with they help of a belt.

"Thank you alpha!" You purred at the soft eyed alpha.

Completely forgetting about his existen in the room for a second you took off your jacket looking up to see the alpha with his head against a wall, with a blush redder that the desssert sand.

" u-uh omega.... your blouse"

You looked down to see what he was talking about to see..your blouse was see through do to the rain....'Well a half decent day to be wearing my good bra..' you thought to yourself only for a second when you remembered THIS 👏 ISN'T 👏 YOUR 👏 ALPHA👏 Your eyes widened about to let out a chirp, but you managed to stop your self remembering that the alpha was only trying to be kind, he wasn't trying to peep, and you were about 90% sure you weren't supposed to be in a butler wardrobe room another alpha hearing your chirp could drive them to come in and see you there leading the nice alpha to lose his job...with all these things in mind you were able to suppress the chirp.

"U-Um sorry about that, umm could you please keep turned or go to a different room while I change please?"

"N-no problem" the alpha said still looking like the red sand from the dessert.

The alpha left the room grabbing a few other things while you pulled up the jeans and pulled the sweater over your head. Like you expected they were both way to big but luckily the alpha suspected that and brought you a belt.

"Alpha! You can come back In now" you chirped.

A few seconds later the alpha came back in and stopped dead in his track's to take you in.

"THEY ARE ADORABLE!" You were practically drowning in the jeans with them pooling at your feet as were the sleeves and you were snuggling into the sweater like it was the softest thing on earth!

"U-uh you look nice! I'm I just thought you might want to dry off your hair..." Tamaki spoke as he held out a miniature hair dryer and brush

"Thanks!" you said as you looked for an outlet

"uhh alpha where can I plug this in?"

He had to stiffle a giggle as he led you over to the vanity and plugged it in, he handed back to you and you attempted to turn it on.

"ah...the thing is really finiky, here let me help." he said as he grabbed the hair dryer and brush from you he fiddled with it for a few seconds before it finally turned back on

You were just expecting him to hand the items back to you but to your surprise he started to blow dry and brush your hair for you, tho you had to admit you were a little worried what the coffee was going to do to your hair but surprisingly it didn't do anything.

You couldn't help but let out a content pur.

He then turned your chair around so you were facing him and grabbed a makeup wipes that seemed to appear out of thin air, you suddenly felt your self getting anxious again and held out your arms in a weak attempt to stop him from wiping off the melted makeup from your face.

"What's wrong omega?" Tamaki asked hastily, worried he did something wrong. You were silent for a few moments and muttered something

"I-Im sorry but could you repeat that? I didn't quite hear you the first time.."

You then again muttered to quietly for even the person with the sharpest sences to hear.

"umm one more time please?"

"I look ugly without it.."

You muttered again weakly, you knew the melted makeup looked terrible but it still covered up your... plainness?

Tamaki grabbed your outstretched arms gently lowering them he looked up at you from his kneeling position his brows furrowed.

"Y/N I-I doubt sieriously you could be ugly.." he said shyly as he reached up again with the wipe in hand, looking you in the eyes for permission. With a deep breath you nodded and felt the moisture of the wipe hit your face.

In little time you could feel him pull away and put the wipe in the garbage.

'Wow..' Tamaki thought to himself you were drop dead gorgeous! Why did you want to cover it?

"Y-your really pretty!" The Alpha stated squeezing his eyes shut, opening them again to see a blushing Y/N in front of them

"T-thanks.."

Soon after he snook you back to the diner section. Taking off the wait on other patrons.

You felt more comfortable now that you fit in a bit better but there was still an echoing voice in your head repeating all the bad things the alpha's said to you.

Amajki noticing this came over with a small plate in his hand and placed it in front of you. It was a fruity looking parfait and a cup of Chaì tea.

Was he being sweet or trying to make you spend money? You don't really know.

"Thank you alpha but I don't think I can afford this, I only got a few yin on hand"

"D-Dont worry about it! It's a new recipe the chef was trying out and wanted it to be tasted!"

With that the alpha left and went to take an order from another patron.

With the reasurance you wouldn't be charged you picked up a spoon and took a small bite, immediately an explosion of sweet fruit and cream took over your mouth and immediately went for another bite. Your omega was purring so loud you thought the whole cafe could here! Unbeknownst to you the alpha was smiling as he looked over at your pleased face.

He came over again a few moments after you finished the parfait and presented you with Matcha Macroons before noticing the cream that was on the side of your lip

Adorableness level: upgrade

You looked up at him disappoinment in your features

"thank you so much for everything but I think I need to be heading back to my dorm or my friends will think I got kidnapped!"

Spoiler alert: THEY DID

"A-at least stay untill the rain stops."

You looked up at the window and saw the rain hadn't lessened.

Sighing knowing you were going to get a lecture later on from your classmates you agreed to stay.

Tamaki presented you with dish after dish the next more delicious than the last while conversating with you, when you noticed it stopped raining you were actually a little disappointed, you were quite enjoy your self but you knew you had to get home.

You stood up and saw Tamaki rush over to you.

"Thank you so much for... everything! But I gotta go now my dorm mates are probably about to send a search party my way"

Tamaki looked out the window and saw it had stopped raining, disappointed playing on his features.

"W-wait here a sec omega!" Without giving you a chance to answer he rushed into the room again and came out a few seconds later with a large bag and went into the kitchen appearing again after a few minutes and bolted over to you.

"h-here are your clothes from earlier t-they dryed off but I would still recommend washing them."

You took the bag and the alpha walked away without a word, with a heavy heart you walked out and headed down the stairs and went to desk seeing the omega who greeted you earlier, knowing not all of what Tamaki gave you was free the omega slid you over the check and- OH MY GOD YOU KNEW THIS PLACE WAS EXPENSIVE BUT YOU WRACKED UP 20,761.40¥! The omega obviously able to sence your worry grabbed your hand and calmly stated:

"Don't worry dearie Amajiki payed for it in full and- are those his clothes?"

"Ah- umm-well you see-"

"Shhhh it's okay dear I'm not going to fire Amajiki, that was a kind thing he did and that boy is so shy...I'm just happy you made him come out of his shell a bit. Feel free to come back anytime!"

The omega slowly slid over the receipt with a knowing grin and left to go to the backroom. You left the cafe and flipped over the flimsy paper to read:

To Y/n the omega that looks just as adorable without makeup as she does with cream in her face.

With a number neatly scrawled underneath it, you knew a few things that were going to happen in the future, you knew when you got back to the dorms you would get a lecture, you knew you would have to pull an all-nighter to get all the work done since you got barley any of it done at the cafe, and you knew when you got your phone charged you would be making a call.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus!:" WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU AVATAR?!" Said an angry bakugo when you entered the dorm, the scent of a whole bunch of worried alpha's filling your nose.

"Bakubro! Calm down! MIDORIYA! COME CALM DOWN YOUR ALPHA!" Said an anxious Kirishima trying weakly to hold his best friend back while waiting for Midoriya to show.

"WELL?!? WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?!?!"

"Bakugo! That is an ill-mannered way of approching things! Y/N! You were so close to cutting curfew! You could've gotten in trouble!"

"Yes, yes Lida the school rules are important but Y/N is home safe now aren't they?" Said momo.

You were relived at first but then she went down to your level and whispered like a crazy person:

"If you ever make us worry for so long again say good bye to the free nesting materials I make you."

"YOU WOULDN'T!" You said shocked at the threat.

"Oh I would 100% do so if it became necessary."

"WELP IM GOING TO MY NEST NOW IF YOU WILL EXUSE ME!!"

Ya they didn't let you off so easy, you had to stay in the living room another hour for a lecture from EVERYONE.

After you were finally able to go to your room you crashed in your nest, plugged in your phone and sat up while you unpacked your clothes finding three mini Parfaits at the bottom.

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@vixenpen ummm yea I also think your an awesome writer and you said to notify you once it's done and I know it's not really your taste or at least I don't think it is but plz give me some criticism!

#omegaverse #comfort fic #adorable #bullying #mha tamaki

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