#call this a social experiment
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Hello.
I figured it was about time I said something here on this app. You can only scroll mindlessly for so long, after all.
Sometimes, when my mind's too full for its own good and I really feel like the speck of dust I am to the universe, I jot things down. They're inconsistent, messy, and occasionally unclear in meaning even to myself, but they've helped me balance things as I'm handed new plates to stack onto my full hands. Like shaking out a box marked 'miscalleneous' to make it easier to sort into neat little compartments, I've been keeping most of these writing sprees tucked away in my notes app. And every so often, I'd debate whether or not to put them out into the void for others to see and possibly connect to.
Today I'm tipsy, sentimental, and staying up way past an hour that can be considered good for me, so here we are. I'll be posting some of the stuff that comes to me in this little corner of the internet, so feel free to have a look around.
In the meantime, I'm going to sprinkle some pieces of myself here, see how things turn out. It's nice to meet you.
(As a sidenote, I'm new to this tagging business and therefore shit at it, so sue me.)
#writing#journaling? i guess?#hmm poems#short thoughts#long thoughts#making sense of things#by presenting them to strangers on the internet#yes i'm aware i'm rambling#call this a social experiment#except i'm the test subject#and maybe don't make decisions on painkillers and cocktails#hm painkillers and cocktails that would be a good name for#well something#my fucking god#hozier has a chokehold on me like no other#if you couldn't tell i'm listening to him rn#anyway time to stop now see you goodbye
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Baby Junior's First Steps (based on a scene from Bluey)
Prompt from my buddy @vadfannypack! Everyone thank them Right NoW!!

#tmnt#rottmnt#casey jones#casey jones jr#april o'neil#tmnt sunita#cassandra jones#don't call her Cass/Cassie#my art#I've never watched Bluey but I love how into it my friends are#anyways ermmm if anyone mentions the turtles vis-a-vis parenting Junior you're getting Blocked I'm not dealing with you#they help SURE but I SWEAR if another female character's development gets shafted in favor of a male character's I'm going to EXPLODE#Casey gets to be Junior's mom for a good while before she dies and you can pry that belief from my cold dead hands#I don’t play about curating my social media experience if I don’t like your vibe I don’t have to see you#anyways anyways yippeee adorable babu Juniorrrr I had a LOT of fun drawing these and almost died from cuteness aggression
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pjo s2 has the opportunity to make such a good comment on ableism in gen z. like as someone who was in high school hearing the r slur or “sped” or “acoustic” used so casually in so many places, i would actually break down crying if they got matt sloan to call tyson like “sped” and then see annabeth absolutely wreck his shit. i’d cheer so hard. the heroes of this story are disabled, the point of the original series was to create neurodivergent representation for kids, and it feels so so so necessary.
#crunchyposts#pjo#pjotv#it’s necessary all the time i’m just reminded of this bc specifically sloan calls tyson the r slur in sea of monsters#and it hit me so hard upon reread like yeah that’s what it’s like being in school w kids HAHHAJAHAKJBAJHKGSJJHVDJJHBDJHB i’m losing it y’all#this show has such a wide market please i need to see less people using those fucking words#oh wow now i’m remembering how insecure i felt about being autistic in that school#awful. awful experience would not recommend and i’m hesitant to call myself disabled#my problems are not that big especially compared to people w intellectual disabilities#people who have worse social skills than me etc etc#i just need representation of a kid being a complete asshole in the way i’ve seen in real life#and then the hero of the story punching them in the face for it
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gotta lower the water bill somehow... 🤭
#im not sure if im allowed to post this kind of content on here??#oh well#theres nothing bad happening anyways#WHATEVER!!!! lets call it a tumblr social experiment#we'll see if my post gets taken down#warblossom#ares#fortnite#reaper#overwatch#fn#ow#ow2#ares fortnite#reaper overwatch#reaper overwatch 2
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sometimes instead of posting my fav gals i like to post a guy from a media i like and watch how much more notes he gets compared to girls i post
#call me... social experiment hal#lmao#but fr its a funny phenomenon here on tumblr dot com#and the internet in general#.txt
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ATTENTION ALL ALASTOR SHIPPERS:
uniromantic
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. PROCEED
#it means you only experience romantic attraction to one person in your life ever!!#some people get their only crush SUUPER late#sooo a few decades or centuries works out fine :3#just as long as it's not a poly ship lmao.. two crushes makes you NOT uni because. uni. like. u know ur root words right#also IT IS NOT “fixing” one's aroness it is an aro identity of its own and not superior to any other identities !!!#just saying that bc fandoms fucking suck#anyway i think it'd be cute. especially with his disgust for even platonic affection. tryna be all intimidating#then THAT all of a sudden?? the agony. such silly billy blissful agony. not blissful for him but for the viewers of his suffering like us#tehe#uniromantic alastor#arospec alastor#aro alastor#alastor#hazbin hotel#FML what if i secretly put a hamburger emoji in tags 🍔 yeah that's right fuck you society#radioapple#radiostatic#duckiedeer#charlastor#what other fucking ships are there uhhhhh#idfk i headcanon him as full-on stereotypical aro whatever you call that i don't even do this bullshit#voxal#radiodust#alastor x oc#i think i am cringe.#i sincerely believe i am cringe and terrible. mayhaps social anxiety. who tf knowssss#P.S. as long as HE is not the one with multiple crushes i know polycules are whack#but ofc he could be grayro but where's the fun in that (there is lots of fun in it i am sorry)#radiorose
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having phannie discussions on hinge is like wearing clown shoes walking through a minefield. did you watch a few #relatable danisnotonfire videos in 2015 or did you fujo so hard it changed your life. what level of insanity are we operating on
#this is soooo fascinating to me#call me cole sprouse the way i'm treating this site like a social experiment
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out of curiosity, would you consider yourself butch?
used to be a blonde underweight twink and now I'm a based jock still got the chanel bag and the sick albeit matured mind of a suckpig to prove it so I'm gonna let you decide whether you wanna call me that word just cuz I got a pussy and short hair. I promise you that there have been enough advancements made in the art of lesbian sexual dynamics in the past 50 years to broaden the vocabulary used to describe the plethora of types of masculine females.
#being called butch just reminds me of how much males have the freedom to navigate between male archetypes and how people pay attention to#the distinguishing features of these varying masculinities#but when a female is seen as masculine it all gets lumped under the “butch” category#her masculinity is seen as unnatural and therefore incapable of being considered genuine or taken at face value as it is with males.#its always brought into question instead of taken in consideration with the rest of the woman's life and experiences and her particularities#Hence... Butch is still being treated as though its a huge lesbian cultural phenomena instead of a specific niche thing#also i dont mean to invite the “you dont pass!!” anons again bc that idiot is missing my point entirely (which is that im truly not trying)#but the fact is that for the past 3 years i have found myself increasingly navigating the male social world#and discovering what it means to me as a female to have access to the ability to take my “masculinity” for granted... relax#forget about it#etc#i think thats entirely antithetical to the Butch thing which seems to rest on the tension of other peoples expectations of her#people broadly are more surprised to find out that im interested in women just as much as they're surprised that im a gym queen iykwim...#ive worked hard for this and now that ive gotten the Woman Social Role thing pretty much entirely out of the way i am living the dream#i think a large part of that is learning as a dyke to appropriate the language of gay men theres a reason their terminology had#staying power even when their scene was *literally* dying meanwhile all that seemed to survive from dyke spaces was butch n femme ??#its because theirs didnt necessitate the building and maintenance of a scene in order for the subculture to hold its head above water#their labels *largely* weren't predicated on their relationships to gender roles and its telling that for dykes it was#their labels rested on the need to simply show up anonymous n be able to easily flag whether they were looking to fuck or be fucked#alongside the set of circumstances under which they would be fucking or getting fucked or what have you#it all comes back to the restrictions of female social blah blah blah and i think the sooner we collectively set down what we see as our#responsibility as lesbians and as feminists to Be A Woman the sooner we can step outside of that#n start thinking clearly about our individual circumstances and the necessity of putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping others
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Sepang 2006: Jorge Lorenzo kisses the camera before shaking hands with Andrea Dovizioso.
#if there are no jorge/dovi feud fans left on this world assume i have DIED#important context that dovi ISN'T EVEN PISSED AT JORGE this time. he's angry at the third guy on the podium de angelis#or as casey would call him...........#//#//mt#brr brr#the way jorge pauses before awkwardly tapping dovi... i want to do social experiments on them so badly#jorge is SO YOUNG like i know he's technically nineteen but given how under socialised he is he might as well be fifteen in my head#dovi is so close to committing murder. all time great 250cc seasons TO ME
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this is an actual question- i know dnp were kids when the internet came out but back in the early days was internet safety not taught? yes i know dan graduated hs in 2009 but was that not standard curriculum (or at least a shitty assembly?) ik you didnt go through the british school system but im just curious (for reference i was in kindergarten in 2009) (also considering this is the piss on the poor site no i am not victim blaming him for creeps im just wondering)
absolutely not lmao there was zero awareness for internet safety especially for mine and dan's age group. we were old enough to be left alone on the family computer but too young to think critically about how we engage with strangers online and the concept of that specific brand of 00s social media was so foreign to most adults it wouldn't cross their minds to make a PSA (specifically sites like myspace where you'd display your real name, photos, and personal information and then ADD AS MANY STRANGERS AS YOU COULD TO YOUR FRIENDS LIST VIA WHORE TRAINS)
we just treated our online life like an extension of our real lives except you'd get to befriend people who were like you but nothing was necessarily off the table in a way that's common sense now (like posting your home and school and where you hung out etc). and of course no one could have predicted what internet fame would turn into
#anon ask#being 14 on myspace was like living in one of those social experiment kid cities#bc why was i giving my home address to strangers in 2006#why was i taking wildly inappropriate photos bc a british emo boy said he loved me despite us not being able to call each other#the way randos would make “vanity groups” and you'd have to submit your photos for judgement like what WAS THAT
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I like how Goemon's design doubles as both a display of his intimidating nature at being a living weapon, but also as representative of his social awkwardness. Goemon's face consistently has a flat effect, and he is the character most shrouded in shadow, making him seem "scary" to the people around him. But, beneath the surface, when he is given a chance by someone, he's actually a very moralistic and kind character who simply desires friendship; however, due to lacking friends, he does not know appropriate social conventions or expressions, making him look "scary," thus fueling the cycle again. I similarly like how Fujiko is the reverse of this, in the sense that her attractive appearance and understanding of social conventions and what people want from a woman allow her to draw people to her for less honest purposes.
#i'm not including this in the main text but I think twcfm did a great job understanding the autistic experience#goemon's a honest person who longs for a connection to someone but his lack of expression drives people away#not to mention his lack of understanding social cues and his botched attempts to seem friendly as seen in the ice cream scene#he's too autistic to understand exactly why people run from him and this makes him painfully lonely#lupin iii#lupin the third#lupin the 3rd#goemon ishikawa xiii#goemon#fujiko mine#twcfm#the woman called fujiko mine
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i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????
#this blog always had a focus on social science and detangling feelings and experiences. like it's basically been serving as my diary#bc this blog has always been my main outlet for it. i hate talking feelings to anyone irl. it's a bad habit but i hate it#so it was a game changer and helped me grow up sooo much. esp supplemented w other people's experiences.#being raised by a stoic engineer mother who's very much warm but also not very good at feelings at times has caused me to suppress SO much#compounded w being the eldest daughter. like that is a damning sentence in and of itself#tumblr just gave me an outlet for stuff like this. and every social media is essentially a highlight reel of ppl's best moments.#tumblr is the opposite. i've always loved that too whether it was in the form of humor or more earnest posts#could i work through my own issues by myself? yes probably#and my blog will always have that facet even if i get a therapist#but a therapist's input. just a professional's input. will expedite a lot of improvement for me i think#this has been a critical time period for me anyway bc i'm budgeting my whole schedule for once vs being handheld by uni deadlines#and it's just gonna keep getting more and more intense from here bc i'm truly pushing my comfort zone more than ever before#it just feels like the right call even tho i'm lowkey nervous ab it bc i HATE talking feelings in person.#this therapist will not fall for my trying to deflect by asking her about her life. which. usually works on my friends <3#we will see. a therapy arc is coming very soon basically#p
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If it helps the discourse still kinda exists in the aspd and npd community but it’s now in the form of accusing everyone of larping. I swear I have seen every and all ways ASPD can present being called fake on here. It’s so stupid and annoying but has its funny moments. But now I just don’t ever talk about my experiences because of it. 💀
aspd fakers this, npd fakers that.
enough idle talk. to find the One True Narcissistic Psychopath we must lock all of cluster B tumblr in the octagon and fight it out
#aspd#npd#yeah it’s always been like that. such dumb shit because 1) not an attractive/socially advantageous disorder to fake imo#(either one. npd specifically tho)#2) this is TUMBLR. of course some percentage of ppl are larping. its not your job to figure it out lmao. just make peace with that fact and#connect with people who’s experiences resonate. witch hunting is kinda pointless bc… no ones gonna post a therapy transcript or smthn. lol.#obviously not pointed at anon but to who they’re talking about#ANYWAYS. i’ll always remember the only person i met as a youngster w aspd. an ex haredi jewish girl in my group home. tumblr would hate her#and call her diagnosis fake probs#questions and answers#fuck had to edit cause i didn’t finish my sentence eee embarrassing
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Okay here’s an experiment - artists of tumblr, where do you fall on the scale?

I’d categorize myself as a 3, occasionally bordering on 4. What about you?
#calling artists#artists on tumblr#aphantasia#hyperphantasia#visualization#social experiment#for scientific purposes#not rly actually I’m just curious#mental imagery#artists listen up
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I personally think that a lot of people in this fandom came to this fandom not because they like music or art. They came to this fandom because they like smut filled fanfiction, celebrity drama and conspiracy theories. So if you take that away, the fandom holds little meaning for them.
I just find some Larries taking it to a place of personal vendetta against a child and a couple of 20 year old girls who have had to deal with numerous tragedies very cruel. Whatever they get out of it, is it worth being that nasty to some really young people?
When I read that Freddie has been “instructed as an actor,” I actually feel nauseous for that level of depravity.
They do it because they think of Louis, Freddie, and the Tomlinson girls as players in a game like “Clue,” and the object of the game is to win no matter the cost, because the Tomlinsons aren’t real.
“Don’t blame us, blame Louis.”
The fandom is insane, disconnected from reality, actually sadistic. You see something like this and you understand why cults cause tragedies. People are insanely cruel.
#when I think of all the things I’ve seen in this fandom#and personally experienced#and think there’s nothing I haven’t seen already#harry styles fans and larries always sink to a lower level than I could imagine#don’t get me wrong#solo Louies can also be incredibly toxic cruel and ruthless — as well as deceptive#the people they’re closest to probably don’t even realize how much they’re being lied to#but that’s their business#not mine anymore#I remember all the people who have lied to the point of making strangers travel across the country and then lying to them#I live in a conservative region and work with a lot of socially conservative people#but they’ve never behaved as badly as the so called fans who care for justice in this fandom 😂😂😂#this fandom has been a real DSM V experience for sure
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